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2048: Insert Coin Edition
by LokkoLori
How to play: Use your arrow keys to move the tiles. When two identical tiles touch, they merge and become the next level of tile. Get a tile to the eleventh level to win.
A complete ripoff of Gabriele Cirulli's MIT-licensed 2048, which was based on 1024 by Veewo Studio and conceptually similar to Threes by Asher Vollmer. All the words and images you see have been supplied by our users.


text: IMG_20170521_102209_441 By Angela Walters|2017-07-17T23:02:53-05:00July 17th, 2017|0 Comments Share This Story, Choose Your Platform! FacebookXRedditLinkedInTumblrPinterestVkEmail About the Author: Angela Walters I love all things quilt and want to inspire other to love quilting as much as I do! For more quilting therapy, check out my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC0pG03YOX2DSwn8Se32TnNQ Or connect with me on social media: https://www.facebook.com/AngelaFMQ/?r... https://www.instagram.com/angelafmq/ https://twitter.com/AngelaFMQ Leave A Comment Cancel replyComment Δ

subset: commoncrawl


text:
17 Dead After Tornadoes Tear Through Plains States
A series of tornadoes ripped across Arkansas, Oklahoma and Iowa on Sunday, killing at least 17 people and destroying multiple homes, vehicles and businesses.
The most powerful of the storms reached a half-mile wide in size, with wind speeds reaching 150 mph. Suburban Little Rock was hardest hit, and it is the main focus of rescue workers who are still trying to locate numerous missing people. "Right now, the main focus is life safety," said Brandon Morris, spokesman for the Arkansas Department of Emergency Management. "We're trying to make sure everyone is accounted for."
A tornado landed in Quapaw, Oklahoma, killing one person before it moved into Baxter Springs, Kansas. And yet another storm touched down in northwest Louisiana, near Plain Dealing.
It appears that the worst of the weather has passed, but further twisters are still possible. Thunderstorms are expected to continue throughout Monday in Kentucky, Tennessee, Alabama and Mississippi.
President Obama, who is traveling in the Philippines, pledged federal aid and confirmed that FEMA is now working with local officials in the aftermath of the storms.
Below is a overhead video (shot via drone by Brian Emfinger) that gives you a decent sense of the scope of the damage just south of Mayflower, Arkansas:


text:
Course catalogue doctoral education - VT24
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text:
Update at 9:42 a.m. ET. Review Ordered:
Saying that "we are confident about the safety of this aircraft, but we are concerned about these incidents," Federal Aviation Administration Administrator Michael Huerta confirmed Friday morning that his agency has ordered a review of Boeing's new 787 Dreamliner after a series of problems in recent days, including fuel leaks and an electrical fire.
The planes are not being grounded. Boeing says it welcomes the review and is confident in the aircraft's safety.
Huerta said there is "nothing in the data that would suggest the airplane is not safe" and that like all modern aircraft, the Dreamliner has "numerous backup systems and redundancies."
Our original post and an earlier update:
"Federal regulators say they are ordering a comprehensive review of the critical systems of Boeing's 787s, the aircraft maker's newest and most technologically advanced plane, after a fire and a fuel leak earlier this week," The Associated Press writes.
Reuters adds that FAA officials will announce the decision at a news conference later this morning, "according to a person familiar with the matter."
According to The Wall Street Journal, "the review won't ground planes or halt production, but the FAA has broad latitude to take action as a result of any findings. That could range from ordering new production procedures to revising designs of some electric components, which potentially could prompt further production delays and additional costs for Boeing."
The news comes as there's word of "another two incidents" aboard Dreamliners. USA Today writes that "on Friday ... an All Nippon Airways aircraft suffered a crack to its windscreen during a flight in Japan and an oil leak was found coming from the engine of a separate plane after it landed at an airport in southern Japan."
The Journal, which broke the news of the FAA review Thursday evening, says the investigation will focus on the plane's "electrical system and quality controls used in the manufacturing process." And, the Journal writes, "the unusual move comes after the agency has spent months monitoring various electrical problems and other operational glitches affecting the planes, according to people familiar with the matter, but was specifically prompted by a battery fire on Monday aboard a Japan Airlines Co. 787 on the ground in Boston."
"The new plane is undoubtedly Boeing's most visible. It's built from composites instead of aluminum and comes with the promise of the most comfortable ride in the sky. At $200 million each, 787s are an important part of Boeing's future, even though it will be a while before it makes money on them.
"But this sophisticated piece of transportation wizardry hasn't been behaving as designed. Just this week one caught fire, and another suffered a fuel leak. The 787 was delayed for three years, so Boeing's investors and customers notice each time one has a problem. Boeing asserts such growing pains are typical for new models."
Update at 9:30 a.m. ET. News Conference:
Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood and FAA Administrator Michael Huerta are holding a news conference now to "discuss a comprehensive review of Boeing 787 critical systems, including the design, manufacture and assembly."
Copyright 2013 National Public Radio. To see more, visit www.npr.org.


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In a normal year, we would be running the sprinklers on the garden about now, because it would be so hot and dry, with no promise of rain. But this is not a normal year. I'm not sure what that even is anymore. We've just come out of one of the wettest Junes on record and July is off to a soggy start.
Last night, we had over four inches of rain and we really didn't need any. There was water laying in the field across the road and our next-door neighbor had lakefront property right out his front door. We've got two sump pumps in our basement and both of them running together could barely keep up with the water coming in. Fortunately, we weren't one of several residents in the area that lost that battle.
All this rain means the gardens are looking fantastic. The hostas appear to be on steroids. The double daylilies are blooming 100% double, for once. And the weeds are growing so fast and so big that I don't recognize them.
About those weeds... The gardens proper are doing fine in that department, thanks to either full plantings or mulch that's doing its job. But two areas are in desperate need of help. The Berry Barn, which I had completely weeded four weeks ago - it looked fantastic, I promise - now looks as if I haven't set foot in it all year.
And the grape arbor, well, let's talk about the grape arbor. We first planted grapes in 2008 - Mars, Reliance, and Himrod. We enjoyed these seedless table varieties for many years, until the last couple, when they just didn't do well.
This spring, ironically, none of the Reliance vines made it through the winter. One Himrod bit the dust and the other one isn't looking that good either. Both of the Mars vines made it, but they aren't producing a single grape. This has caused us to reevaluate this grape thing.
Romie wanted to just tear out the arbor and be done with it, but I wouldn't have any of that. I love that arbor, grapes or no grapes. So
"What if the clematis starts climbing all over the grapes?" he said. "Then they'll look pretty," I said. And that was that. But this post is about weeding, and the base of the grape arbor was absolutely solid weeds.
See the weeds at the rear of the grape arbor base? The whole thing looked like that when I started weeding. |
Dandelions, various grasses, a couple of types of clover (and they'd produced seed pods by now), poison ivy, plantain, baptisia seedlings, white mulberry, thistles, Washington hawthorn seedlings, creeping euphorbia, and various other weeds had made themselves right at home while we mulled over what to do.
Since the arbor was staying and we were growing desirable things on it, these weeds had to go, but oh my gosh, where to start? Images of a bulldozer came to mind, but we didn't have one. I love my family of Cobrahead weeders, but this was no match even for those.
But sometimes, ever so rarely, I have moments of brilliance. They're so few and far between that I'm prouder of them than I have a right to be, mainly because I know that every other person on the planet already knew about this long before I did. But dang, if I wasn't excited about the idea that popped into my head one day when I was doing absolutely nothing and having a good time of it.
What if... just what if I took my grandpa's manure fork (it looks like a pitchfork) and skimmed across the top of the weed-infested soil, about 2-3 inches deep, loosening the soil so that I could sift out the weeds? This would be better than hoeing because if you cut some of those weeds, that just means if you don't remove all the pieces, you're screwed. Some weeds are like earthworms - cut them up and they make new ones from the pieces.
I tried my method on a defunct strawberry bed first. It was a small area and I wanted to use the plot for something else. Oh. My. Goodness. Why I had not thought of this earlier, I don't know, but I now don't look at the weediest of beds with disdain anymore. It's actually kind of fun, because it's a much quicker and easier way of removing large quantities of weeds.
What about the dandelions though? No fork is going to remove those that easily. No, I still had to pull those out individually (unless they were small), but by loosening the soil around them, it made it that much easier to pull them out and get all the roots, especially with soggy soil.
Until the rains came last night, I made quick work of the grape arbor area. I'll finish up when we dry up a little bit. It won't take me long to finish the grape arbor and then I'll move to the other side of the yard and take care of the mess in the Berry Barn.
Hallelujah! Who knew weeding could be so easy? (You don't really believe me, do you? Try it!)


text:
Veg Food Finder powered by the Ultimate Guide
Click on the colored markers to see full details. You can also pan/scroll/zoom/drag the map.
Distance is "As the crow flies", and results are limited to the 100 closest entries found.
On wider searches you may need to zoom in on a particular area as sometimes things will stack up on each other.
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text:
Kristina Gjerde, Senior High
Seas Advisor, IUCN Global Marine and Polar Programme reports on the
developments from the 11th Conference of the Parties to the Convention on
Biological Diversity in Hyderabad, India (8-19 October) - which last week took
an important step for the global ocean commons, the largest habitat for life on
The 193
Parties to the Convention agreed to send key scientific information to the
United Nations describing specific places of "ecological or biological
significance" in the open ocean and deep sea, including the high seas and
seabed Area beyond national jurisdiction.
This information was compiled and selected by
intergovernmental experts at two workshops in the Western South Pacific and the
Wider Caribbean and Western Mid-Atlantic.
For the first time, scientists worked together to reveal predictable
habitats for whales, tuna and other highly migratory species in the open ocean
as well as fragile ecosystems such as hydrothermal vents in the deep sea. The results
of these two CBD-facilitated workshops were reviewed by the CBD's science
advisory body in May. The reports reveal richly diverse and productive places
like the Sargasso Sea, the Tonga Trench and unique oceanic seamounts with
cold-water coral reefs. Many of these areas transcend national boundaries. Over
the next two years, workshops will cover all ocean basins.
However, the areas described by the scientific experts do
not trigger any automatic protection. And unlike national waters, there is
currently no international framework for the conservation and sustainable use
of biodiversity in the ocean beyond national jurisdiction.
To address this gap, many governments are calling for a new
legal instrument under the 1982 UN Convention on the Law of the Sea. The Law of the Sea Convention provides the overarching
legal framework for marine activities, but was developed years before the
concepts of biodiversity, ecosystem-based management or the precautionary
principle even existed. The need for a
new agreement under UNCLOS was hotly debated at Rio+20 in June of this year, and
governments finally agreed to take a decision on whether to proceed with a new
instrument by 2014 at the latest.
In the absence of such an agreement, it is up to the
national authorities and international bodies responsible for managing
fisheries or shipping or seabed mining to adopt measures that reflect the
special significance of these areas. Unfortunately, many of these international
organizations have yet properly to address biodiversity conservation beyond
national jurisdiction through measures such as impact assessments, marine
protected areas, no-take areas, gear restrictions, or discharge controls.
Other potentially valuable tools adopted by COP 11 are
voluntary guidelines on environmental impact assessments and strategic
environmental assessments for marine and coastal activities and environments. For the first time they provide specific
guidance on how to assess plans, policies and projects that may undermine
marine biodiversity including in areas beyond national jurisdiction.
However, as with the new information on significant areas, these
guidelines provide no mechanism for global scrutiny or reporting on progress
that could serve to stimulate their implementation.
The United Nations General Assembly now has the opportunity
to welcome these tools and to signal their commitment to managing our global
ocean commons for the benefit of present and future generations. While forging ahead with discussions on a
possible new agreement, we need to urge governments and international bodies to
use the powers, information and tools we have today.
Further reaction from Kristina Gjerde in Hyderabad
Photo courtesy of $udhakar via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)
Photo courtesy of $udhakar via Flickr (CC BY 2.0)


text:
Dr. John P. Hart
B.A. in Anthropology and Economics 1980 Stephen F. Austin State University
M.S. in Geosciences 1982 University of Louisiana at Monroe
Ph.D. in Anthropology 1992 Northwestern University
My research has focused primarily on the histories of maize, bean, and squash in New York and the greater Northeast and the interactions of human populations with these crops. Through collaborations with numerous colleagues both at the Museum and other institutions, this research resulted in new understandings of these histories and interactions. A primary focus has been on charred cooking residues adhering to the interior surfaces of pottery sherds in the collections of the Museum. These residues contain microfossil evidence (phytoliths, starch, lipids) of the plants cooked in the pots. In addition the residues can be directly radiocarbon dated through accelerator mass spectrometry. These methods and techniques have provided new evidence that is radically altering our understandings of the histories of agriculture in New York State. Theory building to develop understandings of these new histories is another focus. This research has broad implications for Native American history in New York and the greater Northeast.
Most recently I have been working with colleagues on Social Network Analyses (SNA) of northern Iroquoian sites dating from A.D. 1350 to 1650. SNA is a formal graphing method, which in archaeology is used to identify relationships between sites based on similarities of artifact assemblages. This research is helping to build new understandings of interactions between village populations and how these interactions changed through time during the last centuries before and then after European involvements.
My Research Projects
- 1 of 15
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text:
Displayed below, and updated daily from the MLS, are homes for sale in Northtowne West, a neighborhood in Austin, TX.
For your convenience, you can request more info or schedule a showing from the detail page of each of these Northtowne West real estate listings. We can provide you with disclosures, past sales history, dates and prices of homes recently sold nearby in Austin, and more.
And, register for a free account to automatically receive email alerts whenever new Northtowne West homes hit the market that match your specific search criteria and save your favorite properties for quick access.
Get notified when matching listings become available. We also have found more listings nearby within 5 miles of this community.


text:
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Bringing a Whole New Meaning to "Foot in Mouth"
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Yes, it's supposed to be a foot: a "Chinese Lotus (Bound) Foot" to be precise. (It's what the Chinese used to do to their women's feet, back when the thought of fallen arches struck terror in the hearts of mere mortals.)
Yes, it was for a podiatrist. Because when a doctor is forced to look at and/or handle other people's feet all day every day, I'm sure said doctor can think of nothing more appealing than eating a giant version of one of the most hideous foot deformities possible. ("Alright! Please, tell me you got Pistachio ice cream to go with!?!")
This is one instance where I actually pity the baker responsible; to make this, she had to reference an actual photo. (All together now! Ewwwwww.) Click here to see her Flickr account, which has a link to the photo.
B.F., I think the toenails have got to be the worst part.
61 comments | Post a Comment
There's no way I would have been able to eat that thing. It could have been a chocolate fountain underneath all that fondant and I still couldn't have done it... and the toenails... ewwww.
- July 26, 2008 at 2:08 PM
- Another Whiner said...
I was going to say that, as horrible as this is, someone actually ordered it, so you can't blame the baker. But then I read the comment on Flickr. She picked this all by herself. Ewwwww.
- July 26, 2008 at 2:08 PM
- tay said...
Oh...my...goodness, you are so funny. At least this "foot" isn't stinky.
- July 26, 2008 at 2:30 PM
- Moominmama said...
she should have stuck with the "candy corns."
- July 26, 2008 at 3:04 PM
- oº˚ Homeschool Mom˚ºo said...
{Oh my God -- That is so nasty -- It looks like the toenails would crunch when bit into -- Makes my stomach turn just to think about someone putting that in there mouth -- It would take more than ice-cream for me to even think about eating that.Just hope it don't smell like it looks}
- July 26, 2008 at 3:19 PM
- Cassie said...
What the...
I mean really, who would eat that?
Who? - July 26, 2008 at 3:55 PM
- ConnieC said...
I found your blog earlier this week. And I have never laughed so hard. I was a grocery store Deli/Bakery supervisor for a few years, so the store cakes really crack me up.
And this cake is just plain nasty. And I have to agree the toenails...nasty. - July 26, 2008 at 4:06 PM
- Mary said...
I need bleach for my eyes! very creative, but don't know if I could eat it!
- July 26, 2008 at 4:09 PM
Maybe she figured she'd never have another chance to make a cake shaped like a deformed foot. Maybe she thought, "This is my debut as an artist!" Well, she's famous now!
- July 26, 2008 at 4:33 PM
- Herb said...
I don't even think foot fetishists would like this cake. At least I don't.
- July 26, 2008 at 5:11 PM
- brooke said...
That is gross.
- July 26, 2008 at 5:42 PM
- Seoul Brother said...
Great. A cake with hammer toes.
Maybe it's a molten cake, so when you slice it, it oozes....toejam.
But as bad as that is, can you imagine what kind of disturbed mess that would be served up for a proctologist (a bundt cake, surely)? - July 26, 2008 at 6:51 PM
- Alice said...
This is so funny, as soon as I read the post title and saw the picture I said out loud: Eeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww. Way ahead of your instruction to do so ;)
- July 26, 2008 at 7:25 PM
I think I just threw up a little.
- July 26, 2008 at 7:49 PM
- The Courteous Chihuahua said...
Bleh! I almost think the thorax cake would be better than that! Have you seen the thorax cake, Jen??? I can send you the link. ;-) tee, hee! (running for cover)
- July 26, 2008 at 8:11 PM
Jeeze... what do you even say about this thing? I suppose if Food Network had a Gross Cake Challenge it would have a fighting chance.
- July 26, 2008 at 8:56 PM
Oh, wow! That is one awesomely bad cake! Now we know why Chinese women wore those little tiny shoes. Who would want to see such a foot? Let alone eat it!
- July 26, 2008 at 9:13 PM
- MaryO said...
- July 26, 2008 at 9:57 PM
- Amber said...
That is NASTY!
- July 26, 2008 at 10:18 PM
What did they have in the middle.... jam? (haha)
- July 26, 2008 at 11:15 PM
- Kathie said...
Love your site. Got a good laugh. BUT.....don't feel much like cake right now.
Blessings from Costa Rica - July 26, 2008 at 11:18 PM
- Jen said...
[chucking wadded-up paper ball in your direction] Keep runnin', smarty pants.
;) - July 26, 2008 at 11:45 PM
That is the worst possible thing I have ever seen done to a cake. There should be a law against that. Cakes have rights too! Bring on the SPC! Society for the Protection of Cakes.
- July 27, 2008 at 12:02 AM
OMG feet on their own scare me... but this... I threw up in my mouth a bit.
HOLY COW that's one ugly cake/ - July 27, 2008 at 3:07 AM
- Jenifer said...
*runs away screaming*
Wow. Just...wow. - July 27, 2008 at 3:21 AM
You guys have to admit, the baker did a great job, it's so realistic!
- July 27, 2008 at 6:53 AM
- Things Hand Made said...
I have just read your blog from beginning to end and now have to go and get a tissue to wipe my eyes. I have not laughed that much in ages. Keep up the good work!
- July 27, 2008 at 3:03 PM
- Danielle said...
Oh. Oh. Oh. That is.. That is not right. I really wish I hadn't just eaten lunch because it is threatening to come back up after seeing that cake.
- July 27, 2008 at 3:08 PM
- Kira said...
Oh my. Just looking at that makes me feel nauseous, I can't imagine what I would do if I saw it in person and tried to take a bite!!!
- July 27, 2008 at 4:24 PM
- Mercy's Maid said...
eww...I wonder what the toenails are made out of.
- July 27, 2008 at 4:35 PM
- Tracy Sherwood said...
A+ for "Realism in Cake Art",
A+ for putting in the effort to research the career of the person being honored,
Possible F from the person ordering the cake assuming that they really wanted to eat it!
I don't know whether to applaud, laugh or gag. - July 27, 2008 at 4:51 PM
Disgusting. Did anyone check her other photos on flickr? They include another not very appetizing cake and a gingerbread crack house.
- July 27, 2008 at 7:16 PM
I recognised what it was before reading the commentary (I'm no podiatrist, but I've seen pictures of it before). Is it bad that I actually like the idea?
(yes. I know you're going to say yes. And that the way I feel about it isn't going to be popular).
As for making light of a shameful human rights abuse... I suppose that if one can't make light of anything painful or bad, there's not much room left to humour. Death is not funny, neither are madness, disease or someone getting hurt in one way or another, but I know few jokes that don't involve any of the above.
Anyway, thank you for your fabulous blog, I enjoy it tremendously.
Now hand me a slice of this cake. - July 27, 2008 at 7:29 PM
- Jenny, the Bloggess said...
Featured on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
http://tinyurl.com/5ovhgd - July 27, 2008 at 7:52 PM
- Ang said...
Those toes totally have fungus!! I'm sure the podiatrist knew that though...
- July 27, 2008 at 8:12 PM
You might as well shut this blog down right now because you will NEVER find a cake that looks worse than that. What the...?
liz - July 27, 2008 at 10:18 PM
- Nauntie Lush said...
I was going to eat dinner then I opened up this and am totally never going to eat again.
I want to look at that Flickr site, but am too scared.
Those toenails look real. Did she get them out of an old man's trash can or something? - July 27, 2008 at 11:44 PM
- Cakebrain said...
I am so glad I found your blog...I haven't laughed so hard in a while! my abs are finally getting the workout they need! Imagine having to eat the slice with toes: toenails and toe-jam in one mouthful! :p
- July 27, 2008 at 11:57 PM
- Unknown said...
did you see her gingerbread crack house?
http://flickr.com/photos/52702311@N00/2142334528/ - July 28, 2008 at 11:11 AM
- Nguyen Duong said...
i just threw up a bit in my mouth, and it probably tasted better than this cake.
- July 28, 2008 at 12:17 PM
- Unknown said...
I agree that humor is a great tool to fight injustice and tragedy. I somehow doubt that this was the intent of this cake, however. Of course, the intent of this cake, or rather the person commissioning it, is quite beyond comprehension, so I could be wrong :-)
- July 28, 2008 at 1:59 PM
- Alicia said...
This is possibly the most disgusting thing I've ever seen. I can't tear my eyes away from this trainwreck.
- July 28, 2008 at 6:57 PM
- mintnasty said...
Thank you for the lovely accolades! This piece was actually commissioned by the podiatrist's receptionist (who had seen my portfolio). Apparently he loved it. ;)
Offensive cakes are my specialty, and creating them is very therapeutic. I can assure you I use quality ingredients and mostly scratch recipes (unless it's a last-minute order, then organic box mix). For instance, the fondant on this foot is actually a buttercream base, so it doesn't have that disgusting gummy fondant taste.
My current site is down right now due to laziness in upgrading the gallery script, but at least I have now been inspired to create an Offensive Cakes folder in my Flickr account for your pleasure. Among my favorites are "melons with electrical tape pasties," "mangina," and "gingerbread d*ck in a box."
Enjoy! - July 28, 2008 at 10:30 PM
- Chris said...
Oooooh! Can I have a slice with toenail on it? Please!?
- July 29, 2008 at 8:58 AM
They did a foot cake for a podiatrist on "Ace of Cakes," but it was a normal foot. Still gross, though.
- July 29, 2008 at 12:37 PM
It's like "Altered States" starring Rhoda Morgenstern.
- July 30, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Actually, Chinese women didn't bind their feet because of fallen arches, they were made to bind their feet as little girls to keep them small and dainty. As the women grew older, it wasn't uncommon for them to loose their smaller toes due to rot and fungus and weak bone growth. Bless them- it's the stuff of nightmares.
- July 31, 2008 at 3:24 PM
- Unknown said...
Eeeewwww. tell me how many people were actually able to eat this without gagging?
- August 1, 2008 at 5:20 PM
- Unknown said...
On second thought, if it was cream cheese icing....that makes everything better
- August 1, 2008 at 5:20 PM
- Chaobell said...
Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. Why? Why would anyone think this is a good idea? D: D: D:
- August 4, 2008 at 2:54 PM
OH. MY. GOD. Just when I thought that the internet could NEVER show me anything more horrible - THIS! AAAAAGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT THIS CAKE!
- August 8, 2008 at 2:20 PM
Really, what kind of person thinks "I know what would be a great idea, a cake shaped like a deformed foot!"
- August 8, 2008 at 6:29 PM
I thought it was Joe Camel at first.
- August 11, 2008 at 11:51 PM
- Juliet said...
That scrap of cloth around the ankle keeps reminding me of a shriner's hat. The shriner in question, alas, seems to have a serious skin disease.
- August 16, 2008 at 3:30 PM
- Seafoodpunch said...
Haha, that is pretty gross. But it looks pretty good for a lotus foot i have to say. I wrote an article on the things here:
and trust me, that cake probably tastes and smells way better than the real thing. the cake maker did a decent job... - December 19, 2008 at 6:47 PM
- the ginabean said...
THe sickest cake I've ever seen. In defense of the cake decorator, she got it spot-on; I saw some pix of the nasty feet and it haunted my dreams for the next few nights. There's no way I'd put that thing NEAR my mouth!
- January 8, 2009 at 5:39 PM
- Unknown said...
I will look at feet the same way again
- October 14, 2009 at 5:18 PM
- The Whiz Kid Forte said...
Oh gosh, oh gosh - please tell me that the baker did not cover this cake with high-end fondant (marshmallow, Fondx, Satin Ice, and blah-blah-blah)! Please tell me that they used the "el cheapo" Wilton brand so I can tolerably peel it off!
- December 5, 2009 at 12:38 PM
How do you know he's making light of it? There are many podiatrists who perform surgeries to correct these types of deformities. In fact, I know one who does the corrections entirely free of charge for Chinese who immigrate to the United States. I would consider that cause for celebration. People need to stop being so d*mn sensitive.
- June 30, 2010 at 3:34 PM
- Cupcakes Lady said...
This makes my stomach turn, there no way I could eat it. Ewww ;) xx
- October 7, 2010 at 3:28 PM
- Haiku Joy said...
"Cake should be one foot"
read the baker. Skipped over
"in diameter." - July 13, 2011 at 6:28 PM
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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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- "laugh-out-loud funny"— The Times
- "Yates' sharp humor makes the funny even funnier." — The Dallas Morning News
- "an amazing laugh-out-loud book"— The Book Triblog
What the fans are saying
- "I was laughing so hard, I couldn't catch my breath."
- "As funny as the blog that started it."
- "WAY better than I expected!"
- "Cake Wreckery at its best!"
- "Wrecktastic!"
- American Mensa:Top 50 Websites of 2010
- Amazon: Top 10 gift books of 2009
- The Orlando Sentinal "Orbbies": Winner Humor
- 2009 BlogLuxe Awards: Funniest Blog
- 2009 Bloggies: Best Writing of a Weblog, Best New Weblog, Best Food Blog
- The 2008 Weblog Awards: Best Food Blog
- Blogger's Choice 2008 Awards: Best Humor Blog
Where's the book?
We don't have any copies of Cake Wrecks for sale here, autographed or otherwise. We decided the shipping and handling costs would be too high to make it worth your while. So instead, buy your copies locally or online and then order personalized bookplates: it's cheaper, easier, and I think even looks a bit nicer.
Ordering Info
Payments must be made through Paypal, which accepts all major credit cards. Sorry, but that means no checks or MOs or barter-based chickens.
We ship everything first class USPS, and will do our best to have your package in the mail within 2 days of your order.
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Get the Tax Guidance You Need to Help Live the Retirement You Desire
There's a lot of concern among industry experts about whether the popular 4% withdrawal rule can provide enough income during retirement, but little discussion on the important role taxes play in how much cash you will actually have on hand. That's why talking to a Financial Professional with tax knowledge should be a critical part of your wealth management strategy if you want to help ensure that you have enough money as you pursue the retirement you have envisioned.
The 4% Withdrawal Rule
One of the most popular approaches to how much you can withdraw annually without running out of retirement funds has been the 4% rule. Stated simply, you withdraw 4% of your retirement savings the first year and then increase that amount 1% to 2% each year to adjust for inflation. It is an easy strategy to apply, but lately, there's a lot of concern that it won't keep up with inflation or offer a predictable amount of income for retirees.
Which Accounts You Draw From Can Make All The Difference
While most agree that diversifying retirement savings across accounts with different tax treatments is ideal, the consensus often stops there when it comes to which accounts to draw from first. That's when the recommendation of a tenured professional can help you plan the most appropriate strategy for your unique situation. For example:
When Accumulation is a Priority
You could withdraw from your investment accounts first — giving more time for assets to accumulate in your 401(k) and IRA accounts. This approach lets you take advantage of tax-free compound earnings as long as possible. Note: You will need to take your Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs) before any investment account withdrawals or face potential penalties.
When Your RMDs Push You Into a Higher Tax Bracket
If you have substantial funds in taxable, tax-deferred and non-taxed accounts, you run the risk of paying considerable taxes when RMDs hit. By taking any additional retirement income from your Roth account, you can potentially avoid significantly higher capital gains tax than you would with the first approach.
When you want to avoid an unexpected tax bill
Withdraw a portion of your income from both taxable (investment) and tax-deferred traditional and 401(k) accounts and leave any Roth IRA accounts for last. This approach helps avoid a potentially higher tax bracket during the middle of retirement due to RMDs. Instead, you will spread taxes more evenly across your retirement years for a more predictable budgeting process.
When Your Current Tax Bracket is High
With this approach, you will pull from tax-free accounts when you are in your highest anticipated bracket and from tax-deferred accounts when you are in your lowest bracket. Much like the previous strategy, the goal is to minimize your tax liability and balance tax payments over a longer period of time.
When You're Worried About the Impact of Taxes on Heirs
Clients with significant wealth who aren't concerned about having enough money in retirement might do better to focus on the impact their estate may have on heirs. By taking from Traditional IRAs and 401(k) s first, you can leave your Roth IRA to loved ones to minimize their taxes.
Tax-Smart Strategies Apply No Matter What Your Approach
Applying tax-smart strategies can help build wealth and safeguard your retirement no matter what type of withdrawal method you use. A tax-focused Financial Professional will not only help you determine how much money you can safely spend, but which accounts to withdraw from to help as you pursue your goals. Some alternatives you might discuss include:
- Using the fixed withdrawals method, you simply take the same amount annually as a flat rate or a percentage of your investments. This approach doesn't account for inflation, however, and if you need to withdraw money during a down market, you could deplete your income more quickly than they want. That's when withdrawing from investment accounts first can help you accumulate more with compound earning in your retirement accounts.
- The total return strategy means you take out enough living expenses for 3-12 months at a time and leave the rest to benefit from potential Additional funds are taken only as needed. This strategy can help build assets, but it is also subject to market risk and not a good candidate if you are uncomfortable with risk or do not have enough to forgo withdrawals during a market dip. Your Financial Professional can help you determine if you have enough assets to safely meet your income needs and weather market volatility.
- The bucket strategy is a way of dividing retirement assets among three "buckets" — one for more immediate spending, one for money needed over the next 7-36 months, and one where assets will not be needed for at least 24 months. The first bucket holds extremely liquid assets like a savings account. The second bucket is moderately liquid such as a high-yield CD and the third bucket is invested for growth in the stock market. Once the first bucket is depleted, money is shifted from bucket 2 to 1 and so forth. This approach splits the difference between safety and growth but can be time-consuming and difficult to apply without the help of a tenured tax expert.
Don't Wait to Start the Conversation
Building a tax-smart strategy for retirement account withdrawals isn't something that should wait until you hit retirement. Meeting with a Financial Professional now could make a significant impact on your overall wealth. With tax-smart guidance, you can structure your accounts to potentially maximize your assets in both the accumulation and withdrawal stages, and as your needs change, so should your approach.
Let our tenured Financial Professionals put you on a path that could lead to more financial confidence with ways to build wealth and minimize taxes so you can pursue the lifestyle you envision — both now and in retirement. Contact us today to start the conversation.


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An assistant district attorney in North Texas was shot and killed as he arrived at the courthouse where he worked on Thursday.
"Mark Hasse, 57, had exited his vehicle in the parking lot behind the Kaufman County Courthouse annex and was walking toward the building when he was shot multiple times just before 9 a.m., said Kaufman County spokeswoman Pat Laney. Hasse was taken away in an ambulance, but Laney did not know if he died at the hospital or en route.
"Investigators were searching for two suspects believed to have fled in an older model Ford Taurus either brown or silver in color. Officials didn't immediately indicate any motive for the shooting in Kaufman, located about 33 miles southeast of Dallas."
The Dallas Morning News reports that Dallas County District Attorney Craig Watkins said an arrest had been made in the case. But Kaufman County authorities did not reveal an arrest during a press conference.
The Morning News says that Hasse survived a plane crash, 17 years ago.
The paper adds:
"Hasse was piloting the lead plane in a cross-country convoy commemorating the end of World War II when it crashed in 1995. Morey Darzniek, who survived the crash with Hasse, said Hasse was 'an incredible person in every way. He had the right moral standards.'
"Hasse suffered a skull fracture but recovered enough to resume the practice of law and continued flying."
The Kaufman Herald quotes Sheriff David A. Byrnes as saying that this "is worse than shooting a police officer."
"I mean, I know we're not indispensable, but this is like an attack on society," Byrnes said.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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Good morning, I'm Steve Inskeep with news of a changing retail environment.
We've told you of a plan to let states collect sales tax from online retailers. Now we're on the way to an online bar. Vermont lawmakers are considering a bill to let brewers ship their beer directly to consumers. This proposal faces the concern that underage drinkers might order beer but wineries already do this. If the measure should pass, you could order a six-pack or maybe a keg by UPS.
It's MORNING EDITION. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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Mold Remediation and Restoration
- 24-Hour Emergency Service
- Faster to Any Size Disaster
- Highly Trained Mold Remediation Technicians
- Specialized Mold Remediation Equipment
- A Trusted Leader in the Restoration Industry
- Locally Owned and Operated
SERVPRO of South Fleming Island / North Bradford County takes mold very seriously because we know it it not only affects your health but your home or business entirely. Mold has a rapid growth rate and can spread throughout a property in as soon as 48-72 hours. Mold can also weaken certain structural figures over time making areas throughout a property vulnerable for water damage and possible structure fallout. Allow SERVPRO to bring your mold levels to a safe living and working environment.
Its important to call SERVPRO if you think you have mold so we can get to work immediately as mold is everywhere and thrives in the Florida environment. SERVPRO can respond to your mold situation in a efficient and effective manner with our team working 24/7 around the clock using the top of the line IICRC certified equipment.
If You See Signs of Mold,
Call Us Today – (904) 290-4040
Understanding Mold
Microscopic mold spores exist almost everywhere, outdoors and indoors, making it impossible to remove all mold from a home or business. Some restoration businesses advertise "mold removal" and even guarantee to remove all mold, which is a fallacy. Consider the following mold facts:
- Mold is present almost everywhere, indoors and outdoors.
- Mold spores are microscopic and float along in the air and may enter your home through windows, doors, or AC/heating systems or even hitch a ride indoors on your clothing or a pet.
- Mold spores thrive on moisture. Mold spores can quickly grow into colonies when exposed to water. These colonies may produce allergens and irritants.
- Before mold remediation can begin, any sources of water or moisture must be addressed. Otherwise, the mold may return.
- Mold often produces a strong, musty odor and can lead you to possible mold problem areas.
- Even higher-than-normal indoor humidity can support mold growth. Keep indoor humidity below 45 percent.
Why Choose SERVPRO of South Fleming Island / North Bradford County?
We're Faster to Any Size Disaster
Mold spreads quickly, so a minor mold infestation can quickly escalate into a major problem. We're dedicated to responding immediately when you contact us. A fast response lessens the damage, limits further damage, and reduces cost.
We're Highly Trained Mold Remediation Specialists
We are trained mold damage specialists who get started quickly to get your home or business back to normal, with specific training and certifications to handle your restoration needs.
- Applied Microbial Remediation Specialist
- Water Damage Restoration Technician
- Applied Structural Drying Technician
We Use Advanced Mold Remediation Techniques and Equipment
We invest in the latest equipment and ongoing mold remediation training because it helps us restore your home or business quickly and effectively. We will isolate the affected area using physical barriers and a negative air pressure chamber.
The Mold Remediation Process
Every mold infestation is different, from the amount of mold to the types of materials affected. Each scenario requires a unique solution, but the general process stays the same. The steps listed below illustrate our process for a "typical" mold remediation infestation:
- Emergency Contact - (904) 290-4040
- Inspection and Mold Damage Assessment
- Mold Containment
- Air Filtration
- Removing Mold and Mold-Infested Materials
- Cleaning Contents and Belongings
- Restoration
Common Mold Misconceptions
It's easy to understand why many people struggle to grasp the facts and issues surrounding indoor mold because sensational news stories and advertising cloud and obscure the real issues. Educate yourself with the facts about mold and learn about the mold remediation process.
Locally Owned Company with National Resources
We live and work in this community too; we might even be neighbors. As a locally owned and operated business, SERVPRO of South Fleming Island / North Bradford County is close by and ready to help with your mold-damaged property.
If a catastrophic storm or event occurs, we can call upon the resources of a national network of over 2250 SERVPRO Franchises and special Disaster Recovery Teams strategically located throughout the country to respond to large scale disasters.
We are proud to serve our local communities:


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Heart-Wrenching Short Film 'From One Moment to the Next' Shows Devastating Impact of Texting and Driving
We all know the dangers of texting and driving, but a new movie is really hammering that point home.
Acclaimed director Werner Herzog has made a 35-minute documentary called 'From One Moment to the Next' that takes viewers into the lives of people affected by texting and driving accidents. The film is now playing on YouTube.
It's a powerful reminder that we shouldn't text and drive. And even if you think you've heard that advice enough, it's still moving.


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Jun 20, 2014 | Carpet One Floor & Home
The summer issue of our Beautiful Design Made Simple digital magazine hits Apple newsstands and Android devices on June 21st. Our Outdoor Summer issue is packed with tips, trends and advice from designers and experts. With lots of great ideas for updating your home decor this summer, this issue is sure to inspire you. Here's a preview of what you'll find inside:
Summer trips to the beach are relaxing and invigorating. Wouldn't you like to have that feeling in your home all summer long? Here's some inspiration to give your home a refresh for summer that's just beachy.
Top:Wall Color- Deep Sea Dive- Available at Sherwin Williams. Sandy Colored Carpet- Available at Carpet One Floor & Home. Bottom: Studio A Spinnaker Chairs- Available at Candelabra. Room Design by The Decorologist Kristie Barnett. Dumont Buffet- Available at West Elm.
The beach has so many great colors that work well in home décor – the sand, the water, seashells and palm trees – they are all excellent inspiration for home décor colors. Give your room a refresh with sea blues, greens and tans. A sandy colored carpet can mimic the looks of sand. For a hardwood looks go with something natural and a bit distressed like a boardwalk to the beach.
Find more beach inspiration in our summer issue!
Forget the additions and basement renovations! One of the easiest ways to expand your living space is to move outside. Going beyond the standard table and chairs can transform our deck, patio, pool or yard into a function room. Our 6 essentials for your outdoor space will give you a stylish space where you and your family will want to spend time enjoying the warm summer weather.
Left: Rectangular Wooden Umbrella- Available at West Elm. Top Left: Area Rug from Kaleen Rugs- Available at Kaleen.
Quality outdoor furniture is one of the biggest investments for your outdoor space but it's a worthwhile investment. Look for pieces that look like they belong indoors but are made of weather-resistant materials. Just like any other room in your home, your outdoor space won't quite be complete without a few accessories. Candles, vases and potted plants are great options and won't be damaged by a little summer rain shower.
Perfect your outdoor style! Download the summer issue for free starting June 21st at Beautiful Design Made Simple.


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All molds are made to order in our studio in Anacortes WA.
Original design by Goodey Studio
Based on the longest dimension of the casting size.
1.9" x 1.7"
Depth 1/4" (6mm)
Molds are made with Smooth-On silicone, which cures to a soft strong rubber, which are tear-resistant and heat resistant up to 450F.
You will be able to cast resins, wax, gypsum, concrete, soap and other materials with this mold. NOT A FOOD SAFE MOLD!
Since these molds are made by hand there may be slight imperfections, but they will not affect the casted piece.


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You have been redirected here from an old URL. The list service
provided by Majordomo has been replaced by Mailman. The mailing lists
have been moved to the Mailman service in coordination with the list
A summary of publicly advertised lists on Mailman can be found here:
List Overview
The historic archive for the XML-DEV mailing list which used to be hosted on www.lists.ic.ac.uk has been moved to here: XML-Dev Historic Archive.


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Clayton Kershaw (6-3, 3.05) vs. Juan Nicasio (1-1, 2.08).
Who is Juan Nicasio? Just another pitcher unknown to the Dodgers. Who is Dinger? Just an annoying pantsless dinosaur who pops up behind the plate in the late innings of close games at Coors Field. But hey, maybe there's something to be said about that whole pantsless approach:
UPDATE: Dodgers Promote Oeltjen, Send Sands Down Under (True Blue LA)


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Philadelphia, PA – PGA TOUR - HYUNDAI TOURNAMENT OF CHAMPIONS, Kapalua Resort (Plantation Course), Kapalua, Hawaii - The 2013 PGA Tour season kicks off in Hawaii on Friday with 30 players in the field for the Hyundai Tournament of Champions.
Steve Stricker carded a pair of 69s in the final two rounds last year as he beat Martin Laird by two strokes. Stricker's worst finish in his last four appearances at Kapalua was a tie for 10th in 2010.
The Wisconsin native will be the only previous winner of the event in the field this week. He'll have strong competition in his quest to repeat as champion.
Reigning major champions Bubba Watson and Webb Simpson are both in the field. Watson has played here the last two years and his best finish came last year when he tied for 18th, while Simpson shared third place in his first appearance at Kapalua in 2012.
Players Champion Matt Kuchar tied for sixth here in 2011, while Tour Championship winner Brandt Snedeker is making his first appearance after skipping the tournament last year.
The last two years saw a pair injuries in the surf. Two years ago Lucas Glover sprained his knee while paddle boarding and last year Geoff Ogilvy cut his finger on some coral.
This event starts a shortened season as what was the Fall Series will now start the 2013-14 season in October. There will be seven fewer tournaments due to the truncated season.
Golf Channel will have coverage of all four rounds of the event that is being played Friday to Monday. NBC has some early action on Sunday, while Monday's final round is slated to end at 8 p.m. (et), while the other three rounds are slated to finish at 10 p.m.
The PGA Tour remains in Hawaii next week for the Sony Open, where Johnson Wagner won by two strokes last.


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This is really long, and completely worth reading. I don't know why it resonated with me so much right now. Maybe I do know why, and don't feel like sharing. Nevertheless, here it is:
For the 281st time in the last ten months Roger Ebert is sitting down to watch a movie in the Lake Street Screening Room, on the sixteenth floor of what used to pass for a skyscraper in the Loop. Ebert's been coming to it for nearly thirty years, along with the rest of Chicago's increasingly venerable collection of movie critics. More than a dozen of them are here this afternoon, sitting together in the dark. Some of them look as though they plan on camping out, with their coats, blankets, lunches, and laptops spread out on the seats around them.
The critics might watch three or four movies in a single day, and they have rules and rituals along with their lunches to make it through. The small, fabric-walled room has forty-nine purple seats in it; Ebert always occupies the aisle seat in the last row, closest to the door. His wife, Chaz, in her capacity as vice-president of the Ebert Company, sits two seats over, closer to the middle, next to a little table. She's sitting there now, drinking from a tall paper cup. Michael Phillips, Ebert's bearded, bespectacled replacement on At the Movies, is on the other side of the room, one row down. The guy who used to write under the name Capone for Ain't It Cool News leans against the far wall. Jonathan Rosenbaum and Peter Sobczynski, dressed in black, are down front.
"Too close for me," Ebert writes in his small spiral notebook.
Today, Ebert's decided he has the time and energy to watch only one film, Pedro Almodóvar's new Spanish-language movie, Broken Embraces. It stars Penélope Cruz. Steve Kraus, the house projectionist, is busy pulling seven reels out of a cardboard box and threading them through twin Simplex projectors.
Unlike the others, Ebert, sixty-seven, hasn't brought much survival gear with him: a small bottle of Evian moisturizing spray with a pink cap; some Kleenex; his spiral notebook and a blue fine-tip pen. He's wearing jeans that are falling off him at the waist, a pair of New Balance sneakers, and a blue cardigan zipped up over the bandages around his neck. His seat is worn soft and reclines a little, which he likes. He likes, too, for the seat in front of him to remain empty, so that he can prop his left foot onto its armrest; otherwise his back and shoulders can't take the strain of a feature-length sitting anymore.
The lights go down. Kraus starts the movie. Subtitles run along the bottom of the screen. The movie is about a film director, Harry Caine, who has lost his sight. Caine reads and makes love by touch, and he writes and edits his films by sound. "Films have to be finished, even if you do it blindly," someone in the movie says. It's a quirky, complex, beautiful little film, and Ebert loves it. He radiates kid joy. Throughout the screening, he takes excited notes — references to other movies, snatches of dialogue, meditations on Almodóvar's symbolism and his use of the color red. Ebert scribbles constantly, his pen digging into page after page, and then he tears the pages out of his notebook and drops them to the floor around him. Maybe twenty or thirty times, the sound of paper being torn from a spiral rises from the aisle seat in the last row.
The lights come back on. Ebert stays in his chair, savoring, surrounded by his notes. It looks as though he's sitting on top of a cloud of paper. He watches the credits, lifts himself up, and kicks his notes into a small pile with his feet. He slowly bends down to pick them up and walks with Chaz back out to the elevators. They hold hands, but they don't say anything to each other. They spend a lot of time like that.
Roger Ebert can't remember the last thing he ate. He can't remember the last thing he drank, either, or the last thing he said. Of course, those things existed; those lasts happened. They just didn't happen with enough warning for him to have bothered committing them to memory — it wasn't as though he sat down, knowingly, to his last supper or last cup of coffee or to whisper a last word into Chaz's ear. The doctors told him they were going to give him back his ability to eat, drink, and talk. But the doctors were wrong, weren't they? On some morning or afternoon or evening, sometime in 2006, Ebert took his last bite and sip, and he spoke his last word.
Ebert's lasts almost certainly took place in a hospital. That much he can guess. His last food was probably nothing special, except that it was: hot soup in a brown plastic bowl; maybe some oatmeal; perhaps a saltine or some canned peaches. His last drink? Water, most likely, but maybe juice, again slurped out of plastic with the tinfoil lid peeled back. The last thing he said? Ebert thinks about it for a few moments, and then his eyes go wide behind his glasses, and he looks out into space in case the answer is floating in the air somewhere. It isn't. He looks surprised that he can't remember. He knows the last words Studs Terkel's wife, Ida, muttered when she was wheeled into the operating room ("Louis, what have you gotten me into now?"), but Ebert doesn't know what his own last words were. He thinks he probably said goodbye to Chaz before one of his own trips into the operating room, perhaps when he had parts of his salivary glands taken out — but that can't be right. He was back on TV after that operation. Whenever it was, the moment wasn't cinematic. His last words weren't recorded. There was just his voice, and then there wasn't.
Now his hands do the talking. They are delicate, long-fingered, wrapped in skin as thin and translucent as silk. He wears his wedding ring on the middle finger of his left hand; he's lost so much weight since he and Chaz were married in 1992 that it won't stay where it belongs, especially now that his hands are so busy. There is almost always a pen in one and a spiral notebook or a pad of Post-it notes in the other — unless he's at home, in which case his fingers are feverishly banging the keys of his MacBook Pro.
He's also developed a kind of rudimentary sign language. If he passes a written note to someone and then opens and closes his fingers like a bird's beak, that means he would like them to read the note aloud for the other people in the room. If he touches his hand to his blue cardigan over his heart, that means he's either talking about something of great importance to him or he wants to make it clear that he's telling the truth. If he needs to get someone's attention and they're looking away from him or sitting with him in the dark, he'll clack on a hard surface with his nails, like he's tapping out Morse code. Sometimes — when he's outside wearing gloves, for instance — he'll be forced to draw letters with his finger on his palm. That's his last resort.
C-O-M-C-A-S-T, he writes on his palm to Chaz after they've stopped on the way back from the movie to go for a walk.
"Comcast?" she says, before she realizes — he's just reminded her that people from Comcast are coming over to their Lincoln Park brownstone not long from now, because their Internet has been down for three days, and for Ebert, that's the equivalent of being buried alive: C-O-M-C-A-S-T. But Chaz still wants to go for a walk, and, more important, she wants her husband to go for a walk, so she calls their assistant, Carol, and tells her they will be late for their appointment. There isn't any debate in her voice. Chaz Ebert is a former lawyer, and she doesn't leave openings. She takes hold of her husband's hand, and they set off in silence across the park toward the water.
They pass together through an iron gate with a sign that reads ALFRED CALDWELL LILY POOL. Ebert has walked hundreds of miles around this little duck pond, on the uneven stone path under the trees, most of them after one operation or another. The Eberts have lost track of the surgeries he has undergone since the first one, for thyroid cancer, in 2002, followed by the one on his salivary glands in 2003. After that, they disagree about the numbers and dates. "The truth is, we don't let our minds dwell on these things," Chaz says. She kept a journal of their shared stays in hospitals in Chicago and Seattle and Houston, but neither of them has had the desire to look at it. On those rare occasions when they agree to try to remember the story, they both lose the plot for the scenes. When Chaz remembers what she calls "the surgery that changed everything," she remembers its soundtrack best of all. Ebert always had music playing in his hospital room, an esoteric digital collection that drew doctors and nurses to his bedside more than they might have been otherwise inclined to visit. There was one song in particular he played over and over: "I'm Your Man," by Leonard Cohen. That song saved his life.
Seven years ago, he recovered quickly from the surgery to cut out his cancerous thyroid and was soon back writing reviews for the Chicago Sun-Times and appearing with Richard Roeper on At the Movies. A year later, in 2003, he returned to work after his salivary glands were partially removed, too, although that and a series of aggressive radiation treatments opened the first cracks in his voice. In 2006, the cancer surfaced yet again, this time in his jaw. A section of his lower jaw was removed; Ebert listened to Leonard Cohen. Two weeks later, he was in his hospital room packing his bags, the doctors and nurses paying one last visit, listening to a few last songs. That's when his carotid artery, invisibly damaged by the earlier radiation and the most recent jaw surgery, burst. Blood began pouring out of Ebert's mouth and formed a great pool on the polished floor. The doctors and nurses leapt up to stop the bleeding and barely saved his life. Had he made it out of his hospital room and been on his way home — had his artery waited just a few more songs to burst — Ebert would have bled to death on Lake Shore Drive. Instead, following more surgery to stop a relentless bloodletting, he was left without much of his mandible, his chin hanging loosely like a drawn curtain, and behind his chin there was a hole the size of a plum. He also underwent a tracheostomy, because there was still a risk that he could drown in his own blood. When Ebert woke up and looked in the mirror in his hospital room, he could see through his open mouth and the hole clear to the bandages that had been wrapped around his neck to protect his exposed windpipe and his new breathing tube. He could no longer eat or drink, and he had lost his voice entirely. That was more than three years ago.
Ebert spent more than half of a thirty-month stretch in hospitals. His breathing tube has been removed, but the hole in his throat remains open. He eats through a G-tube — he's fed with a liquid paste, suspended in a bag from an IV pole, through a tube in his stomach. He usually eats in what used to be the library, on the brownstone's second floor. (It has five stories, including a gym on the top floor and a theater — with a neon marquee — in the basement.) A single bed with white sheets has been set up among the books, down a hallway filled with Ebert's collection of Edward Lear watercolors. He shuffles across the wooden floor between the library and his living room, where he spends most of his time in a big black leather recliner, tipped back with his feet up and his laptop on a wooden tray. There is a record player within reach. The walls are white, to show off the art, which includes massive abstracts, movie posters (Casablanca, The Stranger), and aboriginal burial poles. Directly in front of his chair is a black-and-white photograph of the Steak 'n Shake in Champaign-Urbana, Illinois, one of his hometown hangouts.
He believes he's had three more surgeries since the removal of his lower jaw; Chaz remembers four. Each time, however many times, surgeons carved bone and tissue and skin from his back, arm, and legs and transplanted them in an attempt to reconstruct his jaw and throat. Each time, he had one or two weeks of hope and relief when he could eat a little and drink a little and talk a little. Once, the surgery looked nearly perfect. ("Like a movie star," Chaz remembers.) But each time, the reconstructive work fell apart and had to be stripped out, the hole opened up again. It was as though the cancer were continuing to eat away at him, even those parts of him that had been spared. His right shoulder is visibly smaller than his left shoulder; his legs have been weakened and riddled with scars. After each attempt at reconstruction, he went to rehabilitation and physical therapy to fix the increasing damage done. (During one of those rehabilitation sessions, he fell and broke his hip.) He still can't sit upright for long or climb stairs. He's still figuring out how to use his legs.
At the start of their walk around the pond, Ebert worries about falling on a small gravel incline. Chaz lets go of his hand. "You can do it," she says, and she claps when Ebert makes it to the top on his own. Later, she climbs on top of a big circular stone. "I'm going to give my prayer to the universe," she says, and then she gives a sun salutation north, south, east, and west. Ebert raises his arms into the sky behind her.
They head home and meet with the people from Comcast, who talk mostly to Chaz. Their Internet will be back soon, but probably not until tomorrow. Disaster. Ebert then takes the elevator upstairs and drops into his chair. As he reclines it slowly, the entire chair jumps somehow, one of its back legs thumping against the floor. It had been sitting on the charger for his iPhone, and now the charger is crushed. Ebert grabs his tray and laptop and taps out a few words before he presses a button and speakers come to life.
"What else can go wrong?" the voice says.
The voice is called Alex, a voice with a generic American accent and a generic tone and no emotion. At first Ebert spoke with a voice called Lawrence, which had an English accent. Ebert liked sounding English, because he is an Anglophile, and his English voice reminded him of those beautiful early summers when he would stop in London with Chaz on their way home after the annual chaos of Cannes. But the voice can be hard to decipher even without an English accent layered on top of it — it is given to eccentric pronunciations, especially of names and places — and so for the time being, Ebert has settled for generic instead.
Ebert is waiting for a Scottish company called CereProc to give him some of his former voice back. He found it on the Internet, where he spends a lot of his time. CereProc tailors text-to-speech software for voiceless customers so that they don't all have to sound like Stephen Hawking. They have catalog voices — Heather, Katherine, Sarah, and Sue — with regional Scottish accents, but they will also custom-build software for clients who had the foresight to record their voices at length before they lost them. Ebert spent all those years on TV, and he also recorded four or five DVD commentaries in crystal-clear digital audio. The average English-speaking person will use about two thousand different words over the course of a given day. CereProc is mining Ebert's TV tapes and DVD commentaries for those words, and the words it cannot find, it will piece together syllable by syllable. When CereProc finishes its work, Roger Ebert won't sound exactly like Roger Ebert again, but he will sound more like him than Alex does. There might be moments, when he calls for Chaz from another room or tells her that he loves her and says goodnight — he's a night owl; she prefers mornings — when they both might be able to close their eyes and pretend that everything is as it was.
There are places where Ebert exists as the Ebert he remembers. In 2008, when he was in the middle of his worst battles and wouldn't be able to make the trip to Champaign-Urbana for Ebertfest — really, his annual spring festival of films he just plain likes — he began writing an online journal. Reading it from its beginning is like watching an Aztec pyramid being built. At first, it's just a vessel for him to apologize to his fans for not being downstate. The original entries are short updates about his life and health and a few of his heart's wishes. Postcards and pebbles. They're followed by a smattering of Welcomes to Cyberspace. But slowly the journal picks up steam, as Ebert's strength and confidence and audience grow. You are the readers I have dreamed of, he writes. He is emboldened. He begins to write about more than movies; in fact, it sometimes seems as though he'd rather write about anything other than movies. The existence of an afterlife, the beauty of a full bookshelf, his liberalism and atheism and alcoholism, the health-care debate, Darwin, memories of departed friends and fights won and lost — more than five hundred thousand words of inner monologue have poured out of him, five hundred thousand words that probably wouldn't exist had he kept his other voice. Now some of his entries have thousands of comments, each of which he vets personally and to which he will often respond. It has become his life's work, building and maintaining this massive monument to written debate — argument is encouraged, so long as it's civil — and he spends several hours each night reclined in his chair, tending to his online oasis by lamplight. Out there, his voice is still his voice — not a reasonable facsimile of it, but his.
"It is saving me," he says through his speakers.
He calls up a journal entry to elaborate, because it's more efficient and time is precious:
When I am writing my problems become invisible and I am the same person I always was. All is well. I am as I should be.
He is a wonderful writer, and today he is producing the best work of his life. In 1975 he became the first film critic to win the Pulitzer prize, but his TV fame saw most of his fans, at least those outside Chicago, forget that he was a writer if they ever did know. (His Pulitzer still hangs in a frame in his book-lined office down the hall, behind a glass door that has THE EBERT COMPANY, LTD.: FINE FILM CRITICISM SINCE 1967 written on it in gold leaf.) Even for Ebert, a prolific author — he wrote long features on Paul Newman, Groucho Marx, and Hugh Hefner's daughter, among others, for this magazine in the late 1960s and early '70s and published dozens of books in addition to his reviews for the Sun-Times — the written word was eclipsed by the spoken word. He spent an entire day each week arguing with Gene Siskel and then Richard Roeper, and he became a regular on talk shows, and he shouted to crowds from red carpets. He lived his life through microphones.
But now everything he says must be written, either first on his laptop and funneled through speakers or, as he usually prefers, on some kind of paper. His new life is lived through Times New Roman and chicken scratch. So many words, so much writing — it's like a kind of explosion is taking place on the second floor of his brownstone. It's not the food or the drink he worries about anymore — I went thru a period when I obsessed about root beer + Steak + Shake malts, he writes on a blue Post-it note — but how many more words he can get out in the time he has left. In this living room, lined with thousands more books, words are the single most valuable thing in the world. They are gold bricks. Here idle chatter doesn't exist; that would be like lighting cigars with hundred-dollar bills. Here there are only sentences and paragraphs divided by section breaks. Every word has meaning.
Even the simplest expressions take on higher power here. Now his thumbs have become more than a trademark; they're an essential means for Ebert to communicate. He falls into a coughing fit, but he gives his thumbs-up, meaning he's okay. Thumbs-down would have meant he needed someone to call his full-time nurse, Millie, a spectral presence in the house.
Millie has premonitions. She sees ghosts. Sometimes she wakes in the night screaming — so vivid are her dreams.
Ebert's dreams are happier. Never yet a dream where I can't talk, he writes on another Post-it note, peeling it off the top of the blue stack. Sometimes I discover — oh, I see! I CAN talk! I just forget to do it.
In his dreams, his voice has never left. In his dreams, he can get out everything he didn't get out during his waking hours: the thoughts that get trapped in paperless corners, the jokes he wanted to tell, the nuanced stories he can't quite relate. In his dreams, he yells and chatters and whispers and exclaims. In his dreams, he's never had cancer. In his dreams, he is whole.
These things come to us, they don't come from us, he writes about his cancer, about sickness, on another Post-it note. Dreams come from us.
We have a habit of turning sentimental about celebrities who are struck down — Muhammad Ali, Christopher Reeve — transforming them into mystics; still, it's almost impossible to sit beside Roger Ebert, lifting blue Post-it notes from his silk fingertips, and not feel as though he's become something more than he was. He has those hands. And his wide and expressive eyes, despite everything, are almost always smiling.
There is no need to pity me, he writes on a scrap of paper one afternoon after someone parting looks at him a little sadly. Look how happy I am.
In fact, because he's missing sections of his jaw, and because he's lost some of the engineering behind his face, Ebert can't really do anything but smile. It really does take more muscles to frown, and he doesn't have those muscles anymore. His eyes will water and his face will go red — but if he opens his mouth, his bottom lip will sink most deeply in the middle, pulled down by the weight of his empty chin, and the corners of his upper lip will stay raised, frozen in place. Even when he's really angry, his open smile mutes it: The top half of his face won't match the bottom half, but his smile is what most people will see first, and by instinct they will smile back. The only way Ebert can show someone he's mad is by writing in all caps on a Post-it note or turning up the volume on his speakers. Anger isn't as easy for him as it used to be. Now his anger rarely lasts long enough for him to write it down.
There's a reception to celebrate the arrival of a new ownership group at the Chicago Sun-Times, which Ebert feared was doomed to close otherwise. Ebert doesn't have an office in the new newsroom (the old one was torn down to make way for one of Donald Trump's glass towers), but so long as the newspaper exists, it's another one of those outlets through which he can pretend nothing has changed. His column mug is an old one, taken after his first couple of surgeries but before he lost his jaw, and his work still dominates the arts section. (A single copy of the paper might contain six of his reviews.) He's excited about seeing everybody. Millie helps him get dressed, in a blue blazer with a red pocket square and black slippers. Most of his old clothes don't fit him anymore: "For meaningful weight loss," the voice says, "I recommend surgery and a liquid diet." He buys his new clothes by mail order from L. L. Bean.
He and Chaz head south into the city; she drives, and he provides direction by pointing and knocking on the window. The reception is at a place that was called Riccardo's, around the corner from the Billy Goat. Reporters and editors used to stagger into the rival joints after filing rival stories from rival newsrooms. Riccardo's holds good memories for Ebert. But now it's something else — something called Phil Stefani's 437 Rush, and after he and Chaz ease up to the curb and he shuffles inside, his shoulders slump a little with the loss of another vestige of old Chicago.
He won't last long at the reception, maybe thirty or forty minutes. The only chairs are wooden and straight-backed, and he tires quickly in a crowd. When he walks into the room of journalistic luminaries — Roeper, Lynn Sweet, Rick Telander — they turn toward him and burst into spontaneous applause. They know he's earned it, and they don't know even half of what it's taken him just to get into the room, just to be here tonight, but there's something sad about the wet-eyed recognition, too. He's confronted by elegies everywhere he goes. People take longer to say goodbye to him than they used to. They fuss over him, and they linger around him, and they talk slowly to him. One woman at the party even writes him a note in his notepad, and Ebert has to point to his ears and roll his eyes. He would love nothing more than to be holding court in a corner of the room, telling stories about Lee Marvin and Robert Mitchum and Russ Meyer (who came to the Eberts' wedding accompanied by Melissa Mounds). Instead he's propped on a chair in the middle of the room like a swami, smiling and nodding and trying not to flinch when people pat him on the shoulder.
He took his hardest hit not long ago. After Roeper announced his departure from At the Movies in 2008 — Disney wanted to revamp the show in a way that Roeper felt would damage it — Ebert disassociated himself from it, too, and he took his trademarked thumbs with him. The end was not pretty, and the break was not clean. But because Disney was going to change the original balcony set as part of its makeover, it was agreed, Ebert thought, that the upholstered chairs and rails and undersized screen would be given to the Smithsonian and put on display. Ebert was excited by the idea. Then he went up to visit the old set one last time and found it broken up and stacked in a dumpster in an alley.
After saying their goodbyes to his colleagues (and to Riccardo's), Ebert and Chaz go out for dinner, to one of their favorite places, the University Club of Chicago. Hidden inside another skyscraper, there's a great Gothic room, all stone arches and stained glass. The room is filled mostly with people with white hair — there has been a big push to find younger members to fill in the growing spaces in the membership ranks — and they nod and wave at him and Chaz. They're given a table in the middle of the room.
Ebert silently declines all entreaties from the fussy waiters. Food arrives only for Chaz and a friend who joins them. Ebert writes them notes, tearing pages from his spiral notepad, tapping his fingers together for his words to be read aloud. Everyone smiles and laughs about old stories. More and more, that's how Ebert lives these days, through memories, of what things used to feel like and sound like and taste like. When his friend suddenly apologizes for eating in front of him, for talking about the buttered scallops and how the cream and the fish and the wine combine to make a kind of delicate smoke, Ebert shakes his head. He begins to write and tears a note from the spiral.
No, no, it reads. You're eating for me.
Gene Siskel died eleven years ago, in February 1999, from a brain tumor. He was fifty-three years old. He had suffered terrible headaches in those last several months, but he was private about his pain. He didn't talk about being sick or how he felt or what he expected or hoped for. He was stoic and solitary and quiet in his death. Siskel and Ebert were both defined, for most of their adult lives, by comparative measures: the fat one, the bald one, the loud one, the skinny one. Siskel was also the careful one. He joked that Ebert's middle name was "Full Disclosure." Ebert's world has never had many secrets in it. Even at the end, when Siskel knew what was coming, he kept his secrets. He and Ebert never once spoke about his looming death.
There are pictures of Siskel all over the brownstone — on the grand piano, in the kitchen, on bookshelves. The biggest one is in the living room; Ebert can see it from his recliner. In almost all the pictures, Siskel and Ebert — never Ebert and Siskel — are standing together, shoulder to shoulder, smiling, two big thumbs-up. In the picture in the living room, they're also wearing tuxedos.
"Oh, Gene," Chaz says, and that's all she says.
All these years later, the top half of Ebert's face still registers sadness when Siskel's name comes up. His eyes well up behind his glasses, and for the first time, they overwhelm his smile. He begins to type into his computer, slowly, deliberately. He presses the button and the speakers light up. "I've never said this before," the voice says, "but we were born to be Siskel and Ebert." He thinks for a moment before he begins typing again. There's a long pause before he hits the button. "I just miss the guy so much," the voice says. Ebert presses the button again. "I just miss the guy so much."
Last February, to mark the tenth anniversary of Siskel's death, Ebert wrote an entry in his online journal called "Remembering Gene." He calls it up on his screen. It is beautifully written, filled with stories about arguments, even pitched battles, but nearly every memory is tinged with love and humor. Ebert scrolls through each paragraph, his eyes brimming, the smile winning again. The first lousy balcony set had painted pop bottles for rail supports. Siskel had courtside tickets for the Bulls and thought Phil Jackson was a sage. His beautiful daughters, Cate and Callie, were the flower girls for the Eberts' wedding.
And then comes the turn. Gene's first headache struck in the back of a limo on their way to be on Leno, which was broadcasting from Chicago. In front of the audience, Siskel could manage only to agree with everything Ebert said; they made it a gag. That night Siskel went to the Bulls game because they were in the playoffs, but the next day he underwent some tests. Not long after that, he had surgery, but he never told anyone where he was going to have it. He came back and for a time he continued taping the show with Ebert. Siskel's nephew would help him to his seat on the set, but only after the set was cleared.
Our eyes would meet, the voice reads from Ebert's journal, unspoken words were between us, but we never spoke openly about his problems or his prognosis. That's how he wanted it, and that was his right.
Gene Siskel taped his last show, and within a week or two he was dead. Ebert had lost half his identity.
He scrolls down to the entry's final paragraph.
We once spoke with Disney and CBS about a sitcom to be titled "Best Enemies." It would be about two movie critics joined in a love/hate relationship. It never went anywhere, but we both believed it was a good idea. Maybe the problem was that no one else could possibly understand how meaningless was the hate, how deep was the love.
Ebert keeps scrolling down. Below his journal he had embedded video of his first show alone, the balcony seat empty across the aisle. It was a tribute, in three parts. He wants to watch them now, because he wants to remember, but at the bottom of the page there are only three big black squares. In the middle of the squares, white type reads: "Content deleted. This video is no longer available because it has been deleted." Ebert leans into the screen, trying to figure out what's happened. He looks across at Chaz. The top half of his face turns red, and his eyes well up again, but this time, it's not sadness surfacing. He's shaking. It's anger.
Chaz looks over his shoulder at the screen. "Those fu — " she says, catching herself.
They think it's Disney again — that they've taken down the videos. Terms-of-use violation.
This time, the anger lasts long enough for Ebert to write it down. He opens a new page in his text-to-speech program, a blank white sheet. He types in capital letters, stabbing at the keys with his delicate, trembling hands: MY TRIBUTE, appears behind the cursor in the top left corner. ON THE FIRST SHOW AFTER HIS DEATH. But Ebert doesn't press the button that fires up the speakers. He presses a different button, a button that makes the words bigger. He presses the button again and again and again, the words growing bigger and bigger and bigger until they become too big to fit the screen, now they're just letters, but he keeps hitting the button, bigger and bigger still, now just shapes and angles, just geometry filling the white screen with black like the three squares. Roger Ebert is shaking, his entire body is shaking, and he's still hitting the button, bang, bang, bang, and he's shouting now. He's standing outside on the street corner and he's arching his back and he's shouting at the top of his lungs.
His doctors would like to try one more operation, would like one more chance to reclaim what cancer took from him, to restore his voice. Chaz would like him to try once more, too. But Ebert has refused. Even if the cancer comes back, he will probably decline significant intervention. The last surgery was his worst, and it did him more harm than good. Asked about the possibility of more surgery, he shakes his head and types before pressing the button.
"Over and out," the voice says.
Ebert is dying in increments, and he is aware of it.
I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear, he writes in a journal entry titled "Go Gently into That Good Night." I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state. What I am grateful for is the gift of intelligence, and for life, love, wonder, and laughter. You can't say it wasn't interesting. My lifetime's memories are what I have brought home from the trip. I will require them for eternity no more than that little souvenir of the Eiffel Tower I brought home from Paris.
There has been no death-row conversion. He has not found God. He has been beaten in some ways. But his other senses have picked up since he lost his sense of taste. He has tuned better into life. Some things aren't as important as they once were; some things are more important than ever. He has built for himself a new kind of universe. Roger Ebert is no mystic, but he knows things we don't know.
I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this, and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.
Ebert takes joy from the world in nearly all the ways he once did. He has had to find a new way to laugh — by closing his eyes and slapping both hands on his knees — but he still laughs. He and Chaz continue to travel. (They spent Thanksgiving in Barbados.) And he still finds joy in books, and in art, and in movies — a greater joy than he ever has. He gives more movies more stars.
But now it's getting late, which means he has his own work to do. Chaz heads off to bed. Millie, for the moment, hasn't been seized by night terrors, and the brownstone is quiet and nearly dark. Just the lamp is lit beside his chair. He leans back. He streams Radio Caroline — the formerly pirate radio station — and he begins to write. Everything fades out but the words. They appear quickly. Perfect sentences, artful sentences, illuminating sentences come out of him at a ridiculous, enviable pace, his fingers sometimes struggling to keep up.
Earlier today, his publisher sent him two copies of his newest book, the silver-jacketed Great Movies III, wrapped in plastic. Ebert turned them over in his hands, smiling with satisfaction — he wrote most of it in hospital beds — before he put them on a shelf in his office, by the desk he can no longer sit behind. They filled the last hole on the third shelf of his own published work; later this year, another book — The Pot and How to Use It, a collection of Ebert's rice-cooker recipes — will occupy the first space on a fourth shelf. Ebert's readers have asked him to write his autobiography next, but he looks up from his laptop and shrugs at the thought. He's already written a lot about himself on his journal, about his little childhood home in Champaign-Urbana and the days he spent on TV and in hospitals, and he would rather not say the same thing twice.
Besides, he has a review to finish. He returns his attention to his laptop, its glow making white squares in his glasses. Music plays. Words come.
Pedro Almodóvar loves the movies with lust and abandon and the skill of an experienced lover. "Broken Embraces" is a voluptuary of a film, drunk on primary colors, caressing Penélope Cruz, using the devices of a Hitchcock to distract us with surfaces while the sinister uncoils beneath. As it ravished me, I longed for a freeze-frame to allow me to savor a shot.
Ebert gives it four stars.


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This Collection:
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- About this Collection
- Background and Scope
- Selected Bibliography
- Cataloging the Collection
- William Henry Jackson: Career Chronology
- Development of the Modern Postcard
- Digitizing the Collection
- Locations Represented in the Collection
- Mammoth Plate Photographs
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About the Detroit Publishing Company Collection
This collection of photographs from the Detroit Publishing Company Collection includes over 25,000 glass negatives and transparencies as well as about 300 color photolithograph prints, mostly of the eastern United States. Subjects strongly represented in the collection include city and town views, including streets and architecture; parks and gardens; recreation; and industrial and work scenes [view a sampling].
The collection includes the work of a number of photographers, one of whom was the well known photographer William Henry Jackson. A small group within the larger collection includes about 900 mammoth plate photographs taken by William Henry Jackson along several railroad lines in the United States and Mexico in the 1880s and 1890s. The group also includes views of California, Wyoming and the Canadian Rockies.
2010: We hope you will enjoy the new scans of the glass negatives! Approximately 22,000 items are now available at higher resolution. As more resources become available, we will try to provide new images for the remaining 3,500 images in the collection, including the 5x7-inch negatives (LC-D418, -D419, -D420, -D421, and -D423); the 11 x 14 inch negatives (LC-D428), the mammoth plates (LC-D43), the autochromes (LC-D415), and the photochrom color prints.


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Since some mortgage options are less conservative than others, it's important to determine if you are a risk-taker or if you prefer more stability in your financial dealings. Do you invest in the stock market? Or put your money into Certificates of Deposit? These are two different ways of handling money. Depending on your answers to these and other questions that may be asked by your lender, you will be able to choose the mortgage that is right for you.
If you're looking for a mortgage with payments that will remain essentially unchanged over its term, or if you plan to stay in your new home for a long time, a fixed-rate mortgage is probably right for you.
With a fixed-rate mortgage, the interest rate you pay and the monthly principal and interest payments are agreed upon from the outset and will not change throughout the term of the mortgage. In other words, the interest rate you close with won't change—and your payments of principal and interest will remain the same each month—until the mortgage is paid off.
As you can see, the fixed-rate mortgage is an extremely stable choice. You are protected from rising interest rates. And it makes budgeting for the future very easy. But in certain types of economies, interest rates for a fixed-rate mortgage can be considerably higher than the initial interest rate of other mortgage options. That is the one disadvantage of a fixed-rate mortgage. Once your rate is set, it does not change and falling interest rates will not affect what you pay. However, you do have the option of refinancing if interest rates drop significantly.
An adjustable-rate mortgage (ARM) is considerably different from a fixed-rate mortgage. It may be best if you're buying a home while interest rates are high, if you expect increases in your income, or if you don't plan to keep your home long. Keep in mind, with an ARM, you are taking the risk on the rise or fall of interest rates, not the bank.
In most cases, the initial interest rate of an ARM is lower than a fixed-rate mortgage.
With an ARM, your mortgage rate rises and falls with interest rates. Each lender's interest rates are usually tied to a specific index like COFI, LIBOR, the T-Bill rate, or the CD index. The rate you pay will be based on your lender's index plus a margin, usually two to three points. Ask your lender for specifics. Also ask how the "caps" on your ARM work. "Caps" will limit the amount your lender can increase your
interest rate in a single year and over the entire term of the loan.
The convertible ARM is an option that is currently very popular. It's a combination of both fixed-rate and adjustable-rate mortgages, offering the best of both options in one package.
The convertible ARM allows you to convert to a fixed-rate mortgage after a set period of time. For instance, you could get a one-year ARM with the option to convert any time after the first through the fifth adjustment period. This way you can initially benefit from the lower interest rate of a standard ARM, then take advantage of locked-in payments later.
Another type of mortgage that has become popular in recent years is the balloon mortgage, so-called because it requires you to pay off your loan in full or refinance at the end of the mortgage term (usually five or seven years). The advantage of a balloon mortgage is that your monthly payments during the mortgage term are generally lower than they would be for a traditional 30-year fixed-rate mortgage.
Balloon mortgages are traditionally popular with first-time home buyers with growing families and with individuals who expect to be relocated by the employer. If you anticipate moving in five to seven years, you can take advantage of lower interest rates (sometimes from three-eighths to three-quarters of a percentage point less than traditional fixed-rate loans) for that time period. If you end up staying longer in your residence then you'll have to pay the balance at the end of the term, or more likely, refinance your mortgage at the then-current interest rate. Many lenders also offer an option
That allows you to convert to a fixed-rate mortgage, provided certain conditions are met.
Qualifications for a balloon mortgage vary depending on the lender you choose, but most require at least a 20% down payment.
Veterans may qualify for Veterans Administration mortgages. There are caps on the size of a VA loan you can get, but this loan could be ideal for buying a lower priced home with a small down payment.
FHA or Federal Housing Administration loans are available to Americans with smaller incomes who are buying modestly priced homes. Look for properties that are designated as "FHA approved."