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The Hour of Power
Sixty minutes — that's how much physical activity kids should get each day. But as kids get older, increasing demands on their time can make getting a full hour of exercise a challenge. And some kids get caught up in sedentary pursuits like watching TV and surfing the Internet. Even doing a lot of studying and reading, while important, can contribute to inadequate physical activity.
Meanwhile, during these years kids often come to a fork in the road with sports. Those who are athletic might end up increasing their time and commitment to sports, which is great for their physical fitness. But more casual athletes may lose interest and decide to quit teams and leagues. Unless they find replacement activities, their physical activity levels can go way down.
But being active is a key component of good health for all school-age kids. It will strengthen their muscles and bones and ensure that their bodies are capable of doing normal kid stuff, like lifting a backpack or running a race. It also will help control their weight and decrease their risk of chronic illnesses, such as high blood pressure and type 2 diabetes.
So how do you get kids motivated to be active, especially those who aren't natural athletes?
Kids can be fit even if they're not winning sports trophies. The key is finding activities they enjoy. The options are many — from inline skating and bike riding to tennis and swimming.
When kids find an activity that's fun, they'll do it a lot, get better at it, feel accomplished, and want to do it even more. Likewise, if they're pushed into activities they don't like, they're unlikely to want to participate and will end up feeling frustrated.
Keep to the Basics for 6- to 8-Year-Olds
Expose younger kids to a variety of activities, games, and sports. Keep the focus on fun. A mix of activities at home and at school is often ideal, and be sure to include some free time for kids to make their own decisions about what to do.
At this age, kids are still mastering fundamental physical skills, such as jumping, throwing, kicking, and catching. It will take a few more years before most can combine these skills the way many 11-year-olds can (for instance, being able to scoop up a baseball, run toward the base, and throw the ball — all in one fluid motion). So if your child is on a sports team, make sure you and the coaches are setting realistic expectations.
Such expectations are also important when it comes to how much kids can handle mentally. Younger kids often are not ready for the pressure of competition, nor can they grasp complex strategy. Look for teams, leagues, and classes that stress the basics and provide encouragement and praise for kids as they improve their skills. Done correctly, team sports and other group activities can teach kids a lot about teamwork and good sportsmanship.
9- to 12-Year-Olds Are More Coordinated
Older school-age kids usually have mastered basic skills and can start enjoying the benefits of being more coordinated. That means a kid who likes basketball isn't wildly throwing the ball at the basket anymore, but is perfecting the free throw.
They're also better able to understand the rules. Parents of kids involved in team sports might want to talk about handling setbacks and losses, and remind kids that sports should still be fun even as competition heats up.
Whether it's soccer or dance, if your child doesn't enjoy an activity or feels frustrated by failure, it may be time to switch to something else. That doesn't mean the time spent on those endeavors was wasted. Instead, ask what activities your child would like to try next. Achieving this transition smoothly, without making a child feel like a failure, can prevent negative feelings about sports and physical activity in general.
Help Kids Find Their Niche
When choosing activities, consider a child's interests, abilities, and body type. A bigger child might be suited for football because size is an advantage. A smaller child might succeed at baseball or might consider a non-team sport.
Also, consider temperament. A mild-mannered boy who might not be comfortable playing football may like the challenge of karate. Likewise, an active girl may not have the patience and control required for ballet, but is well-suited to a more fast-paced activity, like soccer.
Personality traits and athletic ability combine to influence a child's attitude toward participation in sports and other physical activities. Which of these three types best describes your child?
The nonathlete: This child may lack athletic ability, lack interest in physical activity, or both. By this age, kids are aware of these differences and some may have even been teased about them. The danger for them is not leaving one activity that didn't work out; it's abandoning all physical activity altogether.
The casual athlete: This child is is interested in being active but is not a star player and is at risk of getting discouraged in a competitive athletic environment. Most kids fall into this category, but in a culture that is obsessed with winning, it's easy to overlook them as athletes. Encourage them to remain active even though they aren't top performers.
The athlete: This child has athletic ability, is committed to a sport or activity, and is likely to ramp up practice time and intensity of competition. Some kids are happily settled in a sport or activity by the older school-age years. In this case, a parent can continue to support the child's efforts while watching for any changes. It's important to ensure that kids manage schoolwork, get enough rest, and still enjoy the sport. Continue to let your child try out new things and enjoy a variety of physical activities.
Parents Can Make a Difference
No matter what your child's fitness personality, remember that he or she looks to you for guidance and needs your support and encouragement. Also it's important to set a good example, so don't groan about your own exercise, and look for chances to be physically active as a family.
source: http://kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/fitness/schoolage_active.html#


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More than 1 million Arabs are citizens of Israel. And over the years, some 350,000 Jewish Israelis have moved to settlements in the West Bank. If the Israelis and Palestinians were to make peace and set a formal border, what would happen to all these people?
The vast majority of Arab Israelis are Palestinian. Most belong to families that either stayed in their homes during the war following Israel's 1948 declaration of independence or fled to areas that wound up on the western, or Israeli side, of the cease-fire line. They hold Israeli passports and enjoy the rights of citizenship. But many experience discrimination and a challenging sense of dual identity.
The Jewish Israeli settlers in the West Bank live on land east of the 1948 cease-fire line that Israel's military has occupied since the 1967 war. They have chosen these homes for a variety of reasons: religious, Zionist and economic. Palestinians — and most of the world — consider the 1948 cease-fire line, known as the Green Line, as the basis for a future border dividing Israel and a Palestinian state, and the Jewish settlements, guarded by Israeli soldiers, illegally built in occupied territory.
Like many settlers, Nachum Pechenick wants to continue living in the West Bank. But unlike most others, he is not lobbying for a peace deal that puts his home on the Israeli side of a future border.
Pechenick says he wants to be a Palestinian citizen. Eventually, the 41-year-old wants to serve in the Palestinian parliament.
"It's a favor for us," he says. "It's also a favor for the Palestinians, because minorities are important to democracy."
He calls it a "simple" concept but admits it would be very difficult to implement, given high emotions on both sides. In Pechenick's vision, Israeli soldiers would leave. He says real peace would mean that Jews living among Palestinians would not need special protection.
An old-time settler, from the same settlement where Pechenick was born and raised, calls the idea noble, but naive.
Elyakim Haetzni, 87, left Hitler's Germany as a child and was wounded fighting in Israel in 1948. He moved to Kiryat Arba, a settlement next to the West Bank city of Hebron, to help rebuild a Jewish presence in the area after Israel captured the city in 1967. He is determined to stay where he is, as an Israeli citizen under Israeli protection.
If the Israeli government signs a peace deal, he says, "they must stipulate how they protect us. If the stipulation is the Arab party undertakes to protect the life of the Jews, then we can already write our wills."
He laughs — a robust guffaw — when he says this.
Palestinian officials say they would welcome any individual to apply for Palestinian citizenship, but they insist the Jewish settlements won't stay.
They're not sure how they would view an individual like Pechenick — a second-generation settler who has built his home in an "outpost" settlement, considered illegal even by the Israeli government, yet who works with Palestinians on joint projects for peace.
Pechenick's motivation to stay put isn't, in his words, "to control the land."
"I want to stay here because I love my motherland," he says. "I want to be here where it's a good neighborhood with my Palestinian neighbor."
On the other side of the fence-and-wall barrier Israel built in and around the West Bank, Arab Israelis are having a similar debate. If they had a chance to live in an independent Palestinian state, would they?
Yassar Shpeta would move as soon as the state was created. An Israeli citizen, he is tired of feeling a stranger in his own country, he says.
"The way authorities treat me, they give me the feeling I am not welcome here," he says. "When I'm leaving through the airport, I get special treatment. When my house was robbed I got different treatment from the police. I feel that I need to fight for everything."
Shpeta, 56, lives in a mixed Arab-Jewish community in Israel specifically designed to promote peace. He is married to a Jewish Israeli woman — and he's not sure she'd move to a Palestinian state with him. Still, that wouldn't stop him, he says.
"I hope there would be a relationship between the two states and we could visit each other, but after 56 years in Israel, I think I would feel at home in a Palestinian state," he says.
Other Palestinian-Israelis say they would stay in Israel.
Zuhair Tibi, a family physician, is also Palestinian-Israeli. He calls discrimination in Israel "structural" and sees it in education, public infrastructure and planning, and job opportunities. But he wouldn't move to a Palestinian state.
"We can't do that," he says. "To move means to leave our home. We can't leave our home. Because we are deeply connected to this place."
By "this place," Tibi doesn't only mean Taibe, the Arab town in Israel where he was born and still lives today, across the barrier from the West Bank city of Tulkarem. He means places throughout Israel: the old port city of Jaffa where his mother grew up, the beach town of Netanya where he manages a clinic, anywhere he has friends, family or memories. He expects if he chose to live in a new Palestinian state, he'd be cut off from these places, as Palestinians in the West Bank are now.
That's the case for the extended family of 70-year-old Hussein Jbara. Standing on a dry hillside in Israel, Jbara points to a similar hill on the far side of the Israeli barrier that separates him from family members who live in the West Bank. He says he's unlikely to move to a Palestinian state because he thinks it would be governed in a way he wouldn't support.
"Like the Syrian government, like the Jordan kingdom, like Saudi Arabia. My vision is something different ... democratic, liberated, industrialized," Jbara says. "It takes many years to make a Palestinian state like what I want."
Jbara has lived in Israel his entire life — but it's possible his property could wind up on the Palestinian side.
Israel's foreign minister, Avigdor Lieberman, proposes drawing a border that would put land that's home to tens of thousands of Arab-Israelis into Palestinian territory. Israeli legal experts say it would have to be done with Palestinian consent.
Diya Yahaya, a 26-year-old from Taibe, didn't pay much attention to Lieberman's proposal. He says talk of reducing Israel's Arab population is nothing new. He knows he's glad not to live in the West Bank now. It's hard to find work there, he says, and under the military occupation, it can be dangerous.
"Sometimes it's chaos," he says. "Here, even though we are Arabs in a Jewish state, there's more security and more opportunity."
But what if there was no occupation, and Palestinians ran their own country? Yahaya thinks he might feel out of place, as he does when he visits the West Bank now.
"As an Arab-Israeli, I feel discrimination in the West Bank, too," he says. "They treat me differently. I don't really feel at home in either place."
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.

subset: commoncrawl


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Safety gear, work wear, and personal protective equipment (ppe) are all types of apparel that are essential for establishing a safe work environment, especially for mowing lawns, gardening, and landscaping. Mowpart has a great selection of safety products and safety supplies to meet all your home and workplace safety needs. Our supply of workwear includes safety glasses, safety goggles, air masks, forestry boots, ear muffs, safety gloves, helmets, hard hats, jackets, vests, pants and protective eyewear. Brands we carry include Atlas, Gb, Mechanix, Stens, and Oregon. No matter which safety product you need for personal safety, our safety items will supply safety for your job.
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From safety cones, respirator masks, and dust masks to barricade caution tape, safety aprons, and orange safety vests, Mowpart has you covered! Shop now and get flat rate shipping! Starting @ $7.95


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SAN FRANCISCO (AP) — Happily hunched over his iPad, Britain's most celebrated living artist David Hockney is pioneering in the art world again, turning his index finger into a paintbrush that he uses to swipe across a touch screen to create vibrant landscapes, colorful forests and richly layered scenes.
"It's a very new medium," said Hockney. So new, in fact, he wasn't sure what he was creating until he began printing his digital images a few years ago. "I was pretty amazed by them actually," he said, laughing. "I'm still amazed."
A new exhibit of Hockney's work, including about 150 iPad images, opened Saturday in the de Young Museum in Golden Gate Park, just a short trip for Silicon Valley techies who created both the hardware and software for this 21st-century reinvention of finger-painting.
The show is billed as the museum's largest ever, filling two floors of the de Young with a survey of works from 1999 to present, mostly landscapes and portraits in an array of mediums: watercolor, charcoal and even video. But on a recent preview day, it was the iPad pieces, especially the 12-foot high majestic views of Yosemite National Park that drew gasps.
Already captured by famed photographer Ansel Adams, and prominent painters such as Thomas Hill and Albert Bierstadt, Hockney's iPad images of Yosemite's rocks, rivers and trees are both comfortingly familiar and entirely new.
In one wide open vista, scrubby, bright green pines sparkle in sunlight, backed by Bridalveil Fall tumbling lightly down a cliff side; the distinct granite crest of Half Dome looms in the background. In another, a heavy mist obscures stands of giant sequoias.
"He has such command of space, atmosphere and light," said Fine Arts Museums director Colin Bailey.
Other iPad images are overlaid, so viewers can see them as they were drawn, an animated beginning-to-end chronological loop. He tackles faces and flowers, and everyday objects: a human foot, scissors, an electric plug.
Some of the iPad drawings are displayed on digital screens, others, like the Yosemite works, were printed on six large panels. Hockey's technical assistants used large inkjet prints reproduce the images he created on his IPad.
Exhibiting iPad images by a prominent artist in a significant museum gives the medium a boost, said art historians, helping digital artwork gain legitimacy in the notoriously snobby art world where computer tablet art shows are rare and prices typically lower than comparable watercolors or oils.
"I'm grateful he's doing this because it opens people's mind to the technology in a new way," said Long Island University Art Historian Maureen Nappi, although she described Hockney's iPad work as "gimmicky."
Writing about the historic shift of drawing from prehistoric cave painting to digital tablets in this month's MIT journal "Leonardo," Nappi said that while iPad work is still novel, the physicality of painting and drawing have gone on for millennia.
"These gestures are as old as humans are," she said in an interview. "Go back to cave paintings, they're using finger movements to articulate creative expressions."
Hockney, 76, started drawing on his iPhone with his thumb about five years ago, shooting his works via email to dozens of friends at a time.
"People from the village come up and tease me: 'We hear you've started drawing on your telephone.' And I tell them, 'Well, no, actually, it's just that occasionally I speak on my sketch pad,'" he said.
When the iPad was announced, Hockney said he had one shipped immediately to his home in London, where he splits his time with Los Angeles.
He creates his work with an app built by former Apple software engineer Steve Sprang of Mountain View, Calif., called Brushes, which along with dozens of other programs like Touch Sketch, SketchBook Mobile and Bamboo Paper are being snapped up by artists, illustrators and graphic designers.
Together, the artists are developing new finger and stylus techniques, with Hockney's vanguard work offering innovative approaches.
"David Hockney is one of the living masters of oil painting, a nearly-600-year-old technology, and thus is well positioned to have thought long and hard about the advantages of painting with a digital device like the iPad," said Binghamton University Art Historian Kevin Hatch in New York.
Hatch said a "digital turn" in the art world began about 25 years ago, as the Internet gained popularity, and he said today most artists have adapted to using a device in some way as they create art.
A similar shift happened almost 100 years ago with the dawn of photography, he said, when innovations such as the small photograph cards and the stereoscope captured the art world's imagination.
And Hatch said there are some drawbacks to the shift to tablet art.
"A certain almost magical quality of oil paint, a tactile, tangible substance, is lost when a painting becomes, at heart, a piece of code, a set of invisible 1's and 0's," he said.
Hockney, who created 78 of the almost 400 pieces in the de Young show this year, isn't giving up painting, or drawing, or video, or tablets, any time soon. When asked where he sees the world of art going, he shrugged his broad shoulders and paused.
"I don't know where it's going, really, who does?" he said. "But art will be there."
By Martha Mendoza, Huffington Post


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Chloe Ribbon Clip Fascinator - Cream
Oversized ribbons brings playful dimension offering ultra-feminine style to this lightweight clip in fascinator.
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The world's leading swimwear brand, Speedo is passionate about life in and around the water. The brand's heritage of innovation derives from its leadership in competitive swimming, where more Olympic Gold Medals have been won in Speedo than any other brand. Using the pioneering technology created for the planet's top swimmers, Speedo brings performance, comfort and style to all who enter the water, whether racing for a record finish, swimming laps for better health or making memories at the beach.
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text: How To Train A Puppy or Dog Puppy training begins the moment you bring your puppy home. Most dog owners don't realize how important this is. Puppies are very smart, and training them while they are small is the best way to have a obedient dog. Training your Puppy starts as soon as you bring your puppy home. Many dog owners do not realize the importance of setting guidlines for your Puppy from the start. Puppies are very intelligent, and training them as young as possible is the best way to have an obedient canine for life. Its important that you do not let your puppy sleep in your bed. You need to set up and enforce rules for your puppy. Its best for puppies to sleep in a crate or on their own pet bed. If you let a puppy sleep in your bed, you are sending yo[MORE]


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There are considerable contrasts in between different types of materials. The price of the Roofing tiles product being used has a plain role in the cosmetic design, weight, durability and the supreme lifetime of the new system.
For steep roofing products, asphalt composition shingles have a tendency to be your entry level product, with perspective lifetime shingle product possibilities requesting an increased cost. Concrete and clay tile usually be even more of a mid-range choice with synthetic, wood shake, metal and traditional slate being in the higher range roofing products.
The roof's pitch is a crucial factor in determining the cost for two main reasons. First one, a very steep roof, commonly viewed as anything that's over 6:12 pitch, is for the most part regarded as not walkable and calls for far more safety, labor and staging to finish the roof correctly.
The second one, relying upon the type of roof being installed and the demanded fire rating, roof pitch determines the type of demanded underlayment system and throughout these line plays a vital part in estimating a roofing job appropriately.
A composition shingle roof that is somewhere around 2:12 and 4:12 pitch requires two layers of underlayment installed, while a flat roof that is between a 1/2:12 and 2:12 pitch might require certain underlayments to achieve a Class A fire rating.
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text:
JPMorgan Chase faced more critics Tuesday, this time from some of its own shareholders at its annual meeting in Tampa, Fla. This comes after the bank disclosed it lost at least $2 billion last week in a bungled trading strategy.
The Securities and Exchange Commission is looking into the surprise loss, and the Justice Department has now reportedly opened a preliminary probe.
JPMorgan executives let shareholders do some venting at Tuesday's meeting.
Speaking before more than 500 attendees, the bank's Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Jamie Dimon opened by reading a statement that repeated his earlier mea culpas.
"There are many lessons here and many changes in policy and procedures that are already being implemented, and in addition, all corrective actions will be taken as necessary," he said.
Shareholders mostly sided with Dimon and his board of directors on various proposals. They voted down proposed corporate governance changes.
Some outspoken shareholders wanted to strip Dimon of one of his titles — chairman — giving it to a person independent of bank management. In a preliminary tally, that proposal received 40 percent of the votes — a minority, but much higher than the 15 percent vote it got four years ago.
Lisa Lindsley, a director at the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees union, presented that proposal at Tuesday's meeting. "The stakes are simply too high to continue business as usual, where an all-powerful CEO is his own boss," she said.
JPMorgan's board opposed the measure, saying in its proxy statement that "the proposal is unnecessary because the firm's board leadership structure already provides the independent leadership and oversight of management."
Paul Hodgson is a senior research associate with GMI Ratings, a firm that grades companies on corporate governance. He says timing played a big role; most shareholders cast their ballots before last week's disclosure of the big losses.
"I think if people had been voting after the announcement, I think it would have changed the outcome pretty significantly. And in fact, I would have predicted a pretty significant majority in support of splitting the roles," Hodgson said.
Hodgson said companies in the United Kingdom adopted this split-role structure in the 1990s. And he says the tides are shifting in the United States, too. Now, more than half of Fortune 500 companies have adopted the change — up from only a fifth of them a few years ago.
"But it's still rare for banks to split the role," he said. "I think that they're very much traditionalists."
The split structure was not the only thing on shareholder Seamus Finn's mind. Finn is a priest with the Missionary Oblates of Mary Immaculate and one of the shareholder activists who spoke at Tuesday's meeting. He told executives he wants to see the bank embrace new regulations that would limit risky trading, rather than lobby against them.
"We're wondering, Mr. Dimon, given what we've learned, do you still believe that companies can self-regulate when trading on their own accounts?" Finn asked.
Dimon somewhat testily denied that he opposes most financial regulation. He said he agrees with the intent of the Volcker Rule, if not some of its specifics. The rule, named after former Fed Chairman Paul Volcker, says banks with federally insured deposits cannot gamble on risky trading.
This didn't appease Finn. He took the microphone repeatedly, asking for a more sympathetic hearing.
"We're weary of mistakes," he said. "As shareholders, we will continue to hold you to a very high standard. But we can't help wondering if you're listening and hearing the many voices that have been speaking out on these issues."
The final vote tally will be filed with the Securities and Exchange Commission.
Copyright 2022 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


text: This is a PHP language extension for RedHat Newt library, a terminal-based window and widget library for writing applications with user friendly interface. Once this extension is enabled in PHP it will provide the use of Newt widgets, such as windows, buttons, checkboxes, radiobuttons, labels, editboxes, scrolls, textareas, scales, etc. Use of this extension if very similar to the original Newt API of C programming language.


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text:
Bei Bei Shuai is out of jail for the first time since March 2011.
Shuai, a Chinese immigrant who lives in Indiana, is still facing charges of murder and feticide following a failed suicide attempt in December 2010, when she was 33 weeks pregnant.
She was released today after posting a $5,000 bond.
A trial is set for Dec. 2, Emma Ketteringham, one of her lawyers, told Shots. A judge ordered Shuai to wear a GPS tracking device, which could cost $2,500 if she's required to wear until the trial begins, Kettingham said.
Shuai's case has galvanized women's groups across the country. They say that if she is convicted, it could set a precedent for further prosecutions on pregnant women for behaviors that could potentially endanger their fetuses.
Earlier this month, the Indiana Supreme Court refused to review a lower court ruling allowing the case against Shuai to go forward.
Shuai was charged after she was abandoned by the father of her baby, left a suicide note, and ingested rat poison.
She was saved and the baby, a girl, was born, but died three days later in her arms.
She is being prosecuted underlaws originally intended to punish third parties who attack pregnant women and injure or kill fetuses.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


text: Good morning. I'm Steve Inskeep. Finally, Larry Bird looms larger than Magic Johnson. The two players fought a famous rivalry in the '80s. Bird's Celtics and Johnson's Lakers battled for NBA titles again and again. But one thing could never change. In the college championship game in 1979, Johnson's Michigan State beat Bird's Indiana State. Now, Indiana State plans a 15-foot tall statue of Larry Bird, larger than any existing statue of Magic Johnson. It's MORNING EDITION. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


text:
While still managing to be wrong?
Monday, April 4, 2011
Blowing in the Wind
Monday, April 4, 2011
While still managing to be wrong?
73 comments | Post a Comment
That worm cake says it all. Read in the voice of a downtrodden housewife who has lost all hope. Under that read, "I can't believe this still happens." Accentuate "still."
wv: flitank: A tank in which to store your flit. - April 4, 2011 at 9:35 AM
- Unknown said...
One of the things that gets me with these pipe-the-directions cakes is how much EXTRA work they're putting in to do that piping, when a wee bit of comprehension at the start would save time and lead to happier customers.
- April 4, 2011 at 9:38 AM
its sad, the "underneath that" cake is so cool looking, yet still full of fail.
- April 4, 2011 at 9:41 AM
Shame about that last one... it would have been a really nice cake if somebody hadn't totally failed their Common Sense class, which should be a required class for all cake decorating schools.
- April 4, 2011 at 9:42 AM
That last one is such a fail.
- April 4, 2011 at 9:45 AM
I saw the title and started giggling even before I saw the cakes. I just LOVE IT when it's gonna be the occasional sing-a-long. 'zactly what I needed this a.m. Thanks
wv: birtioni-- that special pasta for once a year. - April 4, 2011 at 9:55 AM
- Ashley @ ReallyRussell said...
Congrats on Rachael Ray!!!!!! Just watched it :-D I've been following CWs for over a year now.
- April 4, 2011 at 10:03 AM
Rachael Ray showed off some of the cake wrecks on her show today =) Congrats!!
Jenny - April 4, 2011 at 10:07 AM
Hooray, a sing-along!
Thank goodness that last cake was a large sheet cake and the wreckerator had somewhat legible piping. Can you imagine the same message squeezed onto an 8" round? - April 4, 2011 at 10:09 AM
the lack of critical thinking skills is staggering.
meanwhile, I can't help but wonder if Ben and Flowers are a fraternal twin strip act with repttiles? - April 4, 2011 at 10:19 AM
Order the "Nothing" cake. For when you feel like dirt.
and worms. - April 4, 2011 at 10:20 AM
haha i absolutely love these. You would think they would say hey what color did they want "happy Birthday Alexis in pink" in?. and then realize what they just said
- April 4, 2011 at 10:20 AM
That last cake would have been so darn pretty if the baker had used some common sense.
"Oh! They want the font to LOOK like it's blowing in the wind!!! That makes sense!"
Why must bakers constantly jack things up due to thier lack of common sense???
-B - April 4, 2011 at 10:31 AM
- SabrinaTheArizonaDesertRose said...
Those folks who made those cake 'errors' are something else. I guess when the Lord was giving out brains, they thought He said 'trains' and asked for a slow one? LOL
- April 4, 2011 at 10:40 AM
Oh my. That last one is the best. cake. ever.
I really don't know how these people get through the day. And it's sooo long! You would imagine that about halfway through they might actually realize it... - April 4, 2011 at 10:42 AM
I swear I'm starting to think that the decorators are being dense on purpose just to end up in your blog. That's the only explanation I can come up with because such a high level of not-thinking makes me want to weep.
- April 4, 2011 at 10:46 AM
Brilliant post. Again.
- April 4, 2011 at 10:54 AM
Ah, and the apostrophe in "flower's" is just (you should pardon the expression) the icing on the cake.
You guys make me "LOL please draw the smiley or use the abbreviation not the words Laugh Out Loud in all caps . . . " - April 4, 2011 at 10:56 AM
- Maureen said...
Literal LOLs!!
- April 4, 2011 at 10:58 AM
- Mary Connealy said...
I just had a huge AHA moment.
The cake decorators all speak English as a second language!!!!
Don't correct me if I'm wrong. I NEED to believe this. - April 4, 2011 at 11:07 AM
- The Wrecksistant said...
Hey! We're officially famous! We were on the Rachael Ray show!!!
- April 4, 2011 at 11:08 AM
BWAHAHAH these give me the biggest laughs
- April 4, 2011 at 11:26 AM
I think it's so sweet that Ben and Flowers have the same birthday. What a lovely cake!
- April 4, 2011 at 11:32 AM
- min said...
At least it's all spelled correctly, leaving aside the apostrophe on the first one....
I do love literal people. Thanks for the Monday laughs! - April 4, 2011 at 11:37 AM
That frog on the first cake was also pretty nifty.
- April 4, 2011 at 11:46 AM
Forgot to say -- good song parody! Now do "Puff the Magic Dragon!"
wv - bloesq
It's not really windy out -- just sort of bloesq - April 4, 2011 at 11:48 AM
This blog restores my faith in humanity...well, not really, but it does make me laugh, and that's just as valuable.
wv - fieseco: What a Cake Wreck becomes. - April 4, 2011 at 12:17 PM
- Jen said...
The last one is hilarious!
- April 4, 2011 at 12:19 PM
- Unknown said...
The last cake is just so pretty! Then you read it, bang your head repeatedly into the keyboard, and cry a little. Its not that they don't read, its that they have a filter between the reading and comprehending parts of the brain.
- April 4, 2011 at 12:20 PM
- BADKarma! said...
Best use of a Civil War-era protest song, EVAR!!!!
- April 4, 2011 at 12:28 PM
- Shalen said...
I like that the frog has his tongue stuck out, like he knows what kind of cake he's on. "Bleah," says Mr. Frog. "Bleah."
Also, the last cake has such pretty letters! A shame they went to so much extra work when it looks like what was requested was actually within their capacity (unlike, possibly, the frog baker). - April 4, 2011 at 12:36 PM
- Becky said...
I'm convinced that these decorators are new to this country and don't speak English. That has to be the only way there are this many mistakes out there.
That doesn't mean that I'll stop giggling uncontrollably when I see cakes like these! - April 4, 2011 at 12:36 PM
- Good.Weird.Life. said...
As a huge cakewrecks and Bob Dylan fan, I find this post particularly amazing! I sang the whole thing!
- April 4, 2011 at 12:39 PM
I think people assume too much these days when they expect people to have "common sense"-- surely an oxymoron. It's not just cake decorators either; it's a pandemic. Just come and meet my coworkers. Libby's idea is excellent. "common sense" classes should be mandatory-- but not just for bakers!
However, kudos to the decorator of the last cake on their penmanship. At least you passed something in school. - April 4, 2011 at 12:44 PM
- J. said...
This post takes the cake. Now if you guys could only take those cake decorators and shake some sense into them. :-)
- April 4, 2011 at 12:50 PM
- Saralukies said...
That last cake was the icing on the, well, cake. This post was brilliant! Such a great set up for that last disaster. Awesome.
wv: revour = what a dog does to its own vomit. Yeah, I grossed myself out with that one. - April 4, 2011 at 1:06 PM
- Katie said...
That last cake is so gorgeous...it's too bad they screwed up the inscription.
- April 4, 2011 at 1:08 PM
- Unknown said...
why oh why don't they just change the cake order forms to have an inscription section and a directions section????why why why for the love of dessert why!
- April 4, 2011 at 1:28 PM
Wouldn't it be a great story if the song "Pretty in Pink" was inspired by a wreck?
- April 4, 2011 at 1:31 PM
- LaurenH said...
I really don't understand the first one! I mean clearly the directions were to put on it "happy birthday ben and flowers and a steam-rolled frog" and yet they got the frog part right! :D
- April 4, 2011 at 1:47 PM
I am always amazed at the limitless cake wrecks.
- April 4, 2011 at 1:57 PM
- Ley Firewalker said...
The fourth cake is an epic fail XD
- April 4, 2011 at 2:08 PM
#1 is wishing a HAPPY BiRTHDAY to Ben and Flower's what -- frog?
#2 Finally, balloon strings that look like strings. Too bad the balloons look like a piping bag malfunction. The color fiasco is easily explained: "We didn't have pink, so we used green." Who says wreckerators have no common sense.
#3 If the cake had been just a little bigger, they could have included the last line: "In All Different Colors, With Sprinkles."
#4 Is there a better message for a dirt & worms cake than 'Nothing'?
#5 "Best of luck in WindyCity."
(I never knew 'italicized' meant 'run together' -- guess ya learn something new everyday.) If only the decorator who did most of the work could have stayed to write the inscription.
How did Dylan write a Civil War-era protest song? Time machine, maybe? [Ducks and runs...] - April 4, 2011 at 2:09 PM
I think the "nothing" on the next to the last cake was actually put there to draw your eye away from the randomly strewn gummy worms and crumbs.
- April 4, 2011 at 2:25 PM
Couldn't resist WV: firoses - "dat spot where you put dat frog was s'posed to be firoses"
- April 4, 2011 at 2:31 PM
Honestly, I think the cake decorators do it on purpose.
I'm terribly passive aggressive, with a wide range of work-related pet peeves. I'm sure there must be some cake decorators like me.
If a rude or condescending customer wrote detailed descriptions all over the line that specified "WHATEVER IS WRITTEN HERE WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE CAKE!!" I would definitely pipe it a cake just like the 'Windy City' and hand it to them, feigning innocence. "Why, I piped exactly what you wrote on the form. I cannot offer a refund for your mistake."
This might make me a bad person, but I honestly think that's where these cakes come from.
It could also be a 'corporate policy' thing at chain stores that the decorators are not allowed to 'interpret' what they think the customer wants written on the cake; they must write exactly what the customer has written, even if their common sense tells them otherwise. Should they have called the customer and checked before piping? Probably. But if the customer was rude to them? They might skip it. I certainly would. - April 4, 2011 at 3:45 PM
- Micalah said...
Another great post. You nailed it!
- April 4, 2011 at 4:29 PM
- Chocolatier said...
For the first cake: the baker was asked for flowers.
So he put an iguana.
Yeah OKAY. - April 4, 2011 at 4:45 PM
Everything about that last cake is gorgeous! Too bad it was ruined by yet another miscommunication...
- April 4, 2011 at 5:19 PM
- Catstina said...
I love the Windy City one!!
- April 4, 2011 at 5:23 PM
- Miss Mindy said...
I so love that you parodied an entire song just to get to that last cake!
@Becky 12:36 PM - No, sad to say, after working in a state office for almost 20 years and reviewing many, many written examples of "standard American English" as interpreted by native speakers...of standard American English (whatever that may be), I can attest that the problem stretches across the entire spectrum of those who use writing to communicate. Still, makes for much better Wrecks! - April 4, 2011 at 5:40 PM
- Hard Money Lenders Los Angeles said...
My personal favorite has to be the worm cake that says "Nothing." After all, what is more of a waste of money then sprinkling Oreos and gummy worms then an addition of hot pink frosting that makes absolutely no sense.
- April 4, 2011 at 6:43 PM
Do wreckerators get paid by the letter? Is that why that put all of the unnecessary extra effort into piping all of the instructions on the cake as well as the original message?
- April 4, 2011 at 6:57 PM
- Dog Mom said...
The last one - such a pretty cake. Such a wreck of a sentiment...
- April 4, 2011 at 7:24 PM
- Melinda said...
Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms...and cake. With nothing on it.
- April 4, 2011 at 7:24 PM
Just last week, my co-worker piped instructions on a cake...I couldn't believe it!! I work with a Cake Wrecker!! :)
I think a lot of these mistakes are caused by the decorator being distracted while writing, overworked with lots of orders or doesn't read the order form thoroughly! - April 4, 2011 at 7:35 PM
Please, Please, Please have #1 sing this! This post made me so happy. Way to bring back these classic wrecketypes with a classic song.
- April 4, 2011 at 8:09 PM
- tarichuck said...
I don't know why, but I love the last cake.
- April 4, 2011 at 9:11 PM
- Nan said...
The answer, my friend, is throw it in the bin...
- April 4, 2011 at 9:38 PM
- Donna said...
Ok, a dead frog on cake #1 and a colorblind wreckorator on the "pink" thing. Banner Monday.
- April 4, 2011 at 10:04 PM
Obviously most decorators can READ (though comprehension is questionable) so why can't someone come up with a simple order form that clearly breaks down the items?:
-DECORATION - April 4, 2011 at 10:21 PM
I do believe the "italicized" cake is one of my favorites!
wv: emblette: When the ingredients in your omlette sink below the surface and are embedded in the egg. - April 4, 2011 at 11:01 PM
- crowleyancanto said...
Every time I see instructional cakes gone awry, I wonder if the human race is doomed...(in pink with flowers please!)
- April 4, 2011 at 11:16 PM
I'm with Courtney... these (at least some, if not most) have, have, HAVE to be on purpose. There simply is no other reason why there seems to be SO MANY of them. I'm not complaining, I'm just pguessing that, for grocery chain store cake decorators who don't give a damn because this wasn't their dream job, having their wreck make it onto the esteemed Cake Wrecks blog is some sort of trophy to them. Or maybe customers who specifically order cakes this way then send the pics in hoping their cake will make it on the blog. My brain refuses to accept the idea that there are actually THIS many idiots out there who do this without realizing it.
- April 4, 2011 at 11:54 PM
Arghhh who would pay for these?? Lol if you know it isn't right just don't buy the thing. And that nothing cake.. really is nothing. I don't know why they can't figure out that you don't put directions on cakes. Guess they all like wrecking poor customers cakes.
- April 5, 2011 at 12:29 AM
Thank you for brightening my Monday - it's not just that you do this, it's that you do it so well! ;)
I hate to think that there are that many wreckers out there, but I have to admit - if I got one of those I'd buy it just so I could laugh at it and submit a photo to you! - April 5, 2011 at 4:11 AM
Hey Jenn, I don't know if you saw it or heard about it, but on Rachael Ray, they briefly talked about CW, and that Rachael is a fan of it.
- April 5, 2011 at 4:14 AM
Do you suppose these are along the lines of "there is no such thing as bad publicity"? I suppose it conflicts with "the customer is always right," though that one seems to have gone out of favor lately.
Very funny wrecks today (well, yesterday, as I'm posting on Tuesday)! - April 5, 2011 at 8:46 AM
Hey, but Gilmore Girls sure saw this coming! "Green is the new pink"
:D - April 5, 2011 at 4:29 PM
- Gale said...
Oh, that blowing in the wind cake! The lettering is so dang beautiful! Beautiful, and oh so wrong.
- April 6, 2011 at 1:26 AM
- Carol said...
I think that even Dylan would have to laugh---certainly one of the funniest parodies of a great song!
- April 6, 2011 at 3:44 AM
- Isabella said...
The sad thing is, the script on the last one is beautiful -as is the cake!
- April 6, 2011 at 12:19 PM
This reminds me of my own cake wreck. I bought a cake for my sister's birthday. Her name is Monika-- note the less common spelling. I suppose it was my fault for not writing it down, but I got: "Happy Birthday Monica with a k!"
- April 16, 2011 at 5:17 PM
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What's a Wreck?
What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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- Fooled You!


text:
LaShun Beal, contemporary, figurative artist, born January 28, 1962, has dedicated his career to perfecting his art. He is a native of Detroit who now resides in the Houston area.
He challenges and expresses himself through many mediums. The ground surfaces and canvases that he uses have their own distinctive character and matchless capacity which gives voice to his work and complements his unique style.
After mastering the technical subtleties of different mediums and subject matters, Beal is content with the spirit that drives him to create a particular work of art; and, the evolution of his progress which is exemplified in his creations.
He has done extensive traveling throughout Europe, South America and the Far East which has afforded him the opportunity to witness other cultures which is reflected in his art.
Beal states, "As an artist, I must be free to choose what I do. I enjoy the process of creating with no limits. That is my vision . . . to let the viewer experience the depth of my range as an artist from their own perspective".


text:
The Art of Shared Experiences: New Haitian Works from the Figge Collection
The Art of Shared Experiences: New Haitian Works from the Figge Collection
Beginning with gifts from Quad-Cities physician and arts patron Walter Neiswanger, the Davenport Museum of Art was among the first museums in the United States to collect works by artists from Haiti, in particular the "first generation" of artists who studied and worked at the Centre d'Art. The museum's renowned collection has continued to grow with gifts from collectors from across the country, and now includes more than 200 works.
The vibrancy of Haitian art reflects the island's unique culture and religions, a mix of Native American, West African and Christian religious traditions, and the country's turbulent history as a French colony and independent nation founded by former slaves. The Art of Shared Experiences presents works of Haitian art recently gifted to the Figge. Included is a group of six paintings from the estate of James Huffman, a U.S. diplomat who was stationed in the Dominican Republic and was actively collecting Haitian art the same time Dr. Walter Neiswanger began collecting there.
On view May 6-November 11, 2017
Salnave Philippe-Auguste, Haitian, 1908-1989, Untitled (Carnival Scene, Port A Prince), date unknown, oil on canvas, gift from the collection of James S. Huffman, 2016.2.1
Companion Events
Thursday, May 25
5:30 pm Social Hour
7 pm Haitian Art Night
Thursday, September 21
5:30 pm Opening Reception
7 pm Artist Talk: Edouard Duval Carrié


text:
Definition of "Bossy" according LS with real life example -- "Bossy maane....bossy maane. Ei je dhoro tomar ei room ta clean korar kotha. Kintu tmi korcho na. Ar tumi amake bolcho clean korte jate tumi araam kore cha khete paro. Tar mane tumi Bossy."
She says, "Bossy means...well bossy means. Ok, lets take you. It is your job to clean this room(at this point she looks at me pointedly). But, you don't do it. Instead you tell me to do it so that you can sit and drink your tea. That means you are being bossy".
Point noted.
Everyone knows that a Bong loves his or her Begun Bhaja. Slices of purple eggplant, tossed in turmeric powder and salt and then shallow fried in hot oil. With a good quality eggplant, the flesh of the fried being is so soft that it is not wrong to call it "buttery". Growing up, the begun bhaja was a standard side with dal and rice and a fish curry in my and many Bengali's home. I never liked it nor did I spare any thought towards it. It was that one more bhaja served with dal.
Today, I do not make a begun bhaja all that often simply because I don't want to do the frying, an eggplant sucks up oil fast and is as much a gas guzzler as a Hummer H1. I would rather eat a begun pora than a bhaja, I claim.
And then a reader(
Then to get more experimental I dusted them with cajun seasoning and sprinkled some paprkia.
Next I wanted to rub them with cinnamon powder and nutmeg. But I restrained. This far and no further was the mandate. "Don't mess with my Begun Bhaja", was a familiar cry around home.Hah! tell me who is "Bossy" around here.
Traditionally the Begun Bhaja is fried. In Mustard Oil. As in this Begun Bhaja. In the oven version I used olive oil instead of Mustard but you can use the latter too.
Wash 1 slender japanese eggplant in water and pat dry
Chop the japanese eggplant in rounds, each 1/2" thick.
Toss the slices with
1 tsp turmeric powder
2 tsp Olive oil
Grease a baking tray. Arrange the eggplant slices on the tray. No piling or overlapping.
If you have a cooking spray, spray the surface of the eggplant slices. Or else you can smear them with drops of olive oil.
Pop in an oven. I used a toaster oven where I baked them at 300F for about 30 mins. After 15 mins from start I turned the tray and sprayed the slices once more. Towards the end, I flipped the slices, sprayed with little more cooking spray and did it for 5 more minutes.
Oven temperature and timing will vary. The larger oven temp should be about 350F. Also depending on the quality of the eggplant timing will vary. Just check that the slices are not getting dry and take them out once they are soft and cooked. If they are getting dry but not cooked, cover the bake tray with a aluminum foil and then bake.
Sometimes I might brown them further on a greased fry pan on the stove after they are done but mostly that is not necessary for this variety of eggplant
Now that we have the begun bhaja out of the picture and you saw the simple psychology that made me happier to bake them as opposed to frying them, I will introduce you to Scott Haas, food writer and psychologist. Yes, a deadly combination.
In his newest book, Scott explores what goes on inside a chef's mind in the back of a professional kitchen. Intriguing, haan ? Wait and hear the rest. In the book, "Back of the House-- Secret Life of a restaurant" Haas looks at famed Boston restaurant Craigie on Main, where chef Tony Maws basically gave him free reign to observe for the past year and a half. If you want to know what inspires a chef, if you want a peek into the racing drama in a restaurant kitchen and want the drama to unfold like a novel, this book is for you.
Now available on Amazon
I have my own copy which I am not going to share but I would be very happy to send a copy of this book to one of the commenters in this post.. Winner will picked by random.org and book will be shipped in US only.


text:
14 Creepy Santas Who Might Give You Nightmares
We love Santa. We really do! He's probably the coolest old guy we know, spending his life making presents, managing elves and eating cookies. Truth be told, we're sort of jealous. The jolly old guy usually looks bright and cheery and not all that scary, which is yet another reason we're fans.
The thing is, sometimes Santa's photographed on a really bad day. We're talking about the times he looks nightmarishly weird in those Christmas photos. He has the sort of appearance that gives us involuntary shivers and makes us feel strange all over. It's a case of the creepy Santa.
Since it's almost Christmas and providing you with offbeat distractions from wrapping presents is part of our job, check out 14 of the creepiest Santas below:


text:
500 AP English Language Questions to know by test day
CHAPTER 6. Political Writers
Passage 6c: Thomas Paine, Common Sense
Some writers have so confounded society with government, as to leave little or no distinction between them; whereas they are not only different, but have different origins. Society is produced by our wants, and government by our wickedness; the former promotes our happiness POSITIVELY by uniting our affections, the latter NEGATIVELY by restraining our vices. The one encourages intercourse, the other creates distinctions. The first a patron, the last a punisher.
Society in every state is a blessing, but government even in its best state is but a necessary evil; in its worst state an intolerable one; for when we suffer, or are exposed to the same miseries BY A GOVERNMENT, which we might expect in a country WITHOUT GOVERNMENT, our calamity is heightened by reflecting that we furnish the means by which we suffer. Government, like dress, is the badge of lost innocence; the palaces of kings are built on the ruins of the bowers of paradise. For were the impulses of conscience clear, uniform, and irresistibly obeyed, man would need no other lawgiver; but that not being the case, he finds it necessary to surrender up a part of his property to furnish means for the protection of the rest; and this he is induced to do by the same prudence which in every other case advises him out of two evils to choose the least. WHEREFORE, security being the true design and end of government, it unanswerably follows, that whatever FORM thereof appears most likely to ensure it to us, with the least expense and greatest benefit, is preferable to all others.
In order to gain a clear and just idea of the design and end of government, let us suppose a small number of persons settled in some sequestered part of the earth, unconnected with the rest; they will then represent the first peopling of any country, or of the world. In this state of natural liberty, society will be their first thought. A thousand motives will excite them thereto, the strength of one man is so unequal to his wants, and his mind so unfitted for perpetual solitude, that he is soon obliged to seek assistance and relief of another, who in his turn requires the same. Four or five united would be able to raise a tolerable dwelling in the midst of a wilderness, but one man might labour out of the common period of life without accomplishing any thing; when he had felled his timber he could not remove it, nor erect it after it was removed; hunger in the mean time would urge him from his work, and every different want call him a different way. Disease, nay even misfortune would be death, for though neither might be mortal, yet either would disable him from living, and reduce him to a state in which he might rather be said to perish than to die.
Thus necessity, like a gravitating power, would soon form our newly arrived emigrants into society, the reciprocal blessings of which, would supersede, and render the obligations of law and government unnecessary while they remained perfectly just to each other; but as nothing but heaven is impregnable to vice, it will unavoidably happen, that in proportion as they surmount the first difficulties of emigration, which bound them together in a common cause, they will begin to relax in their duty and attachment to each other; and this remissness will point out the necessity of establishing some form of government to supply the defect of moral virtue.


text: Advance tickets can be purchased online through Broadwaymusicals.us. Also, theater tickets can be purchased in person from the 5th Avenue Theatre box office. All tickets are subject to service charges. Please note, all transactions at the 5th Avenue Theatre are cashless. All major credit cards and debit cards are accepted including Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover, and more. Service charges apply to all orders.


text:
St. Athanasius the Great of Alexandria |
The Church of Alexandria is one of the autocephalous Orthodox Churches. Its primate is the Pope and Patriarch of Alexandria and All Africa, the successor to the Apostle Mark the Evangelist, who founded the Church of Alexandria in the 1st century. It is one of the five ancient patriarchates of the early Church, called the Pentarchy.
When Alexander the Great conquered Egypt about 332-331 BC he established the city of Alexandria, named after him, from which his Greek-speaking successors, the Ptolemy dynasty, ruled Egypt. Alexandria also had many Greek-speaking Jewish inhabitants, and it was here that the Old Testament scriptures were translated into Greek, the Septuagint version. During the first century BC the city, and Egypt generally passed under Roman rule.
St Mark, a disciple of St Peter
evangelised Egypt in the middle of the first century. He probably
arrived about AD 40, and met a martyr's death around AD 63. Little is
known of the early history of the Church in Alexandria and Egypt, beyond
a bare list of names of bishops. By the end of the second century,
however, the church had begun to spread among the indigenous population,
and the Scriptures and Liturgical texts were being translated into
local languages.
Since the schism occurring as a result of the political and Christological controversies at the Council of Chalcedon (451 A.D.), the portion of the Church of Alexandria loyal to Chalcedonian Christology
has liturgically been Greek-speaking, the majority of its native (i.e.,
Coptic) population and their modern descendents becoming a part of the Coptic Orthodox Church (i.e., non-Chalcedonian).
The Church today
In recent years, a considerable missionary effort was enacted by Pope Petros VII. During his seven years as patriarch (1997-2004), he worked tirelessly to spread the Orthodox Christian faith in Arab nations and throughout Africa, raising up native clergy
and encouraging the use of local languages in the liturgical life of
the Church. Missions spread and thrived in Kenya, Uganda, Madagascar, Cameroon, and elsewhere across the African continent.
Particularly sensitive to the nature of Christian expansion into Muslim
countries, His Beatitude worked to promote mutual understanding and
respect between Orthodox Christians and Muslims. His efforts were ended
as the result of a helicopter crash on September 11, 2004, in the Aegean Sea near Greece, killing him and several other clergy, including Bishop Nektarios of Madagascar, another bishop with a profound missionary vision.
Today, some 300,000 Orthodox Christians comprise the Patriarchate of Alexandria, the highest number since the Roman Empire. The current primate of the Church of Alexandria is His Beatitude Theodoros II, Pope and Patriarch of Alexandria and All Africa.
The Holy Synod
- His Beatitude Theodoros II, Pope and Patriarch of Alexandria and all Africa
- His Eminence Paul (Lyngris), Elder Archbishop of Memphis
- His Eminence Dionysios (Hatzivasiliou), Elder Archbishop of Leontopolis
- His Eminence Petros (Giakoumelos), Elder Archbishop of Aksum
- His Eminence Makarios (Tillyrides), Archbishop of Kenya
- His Eminence Jonah (Lwanga), Archbishop of Kampala and All Uganda
- His Eminence Damaskinos (Papandreou), Archbishop of Johannesburg and Pretoria
- His Eminence Alexander (Gianniris), Metropolitan of Nigeria
- His Eminence Theophylaktos (Tzoumerkas), Metropolitan of Tripolis
- His Eminence Sergios (Kykkotis), Archbishop of the Cape of Good Hope
- His Eminence Alexios, Metropolitan of Carthage
- His Eminence Ieronymos (Muzeeyi), Metropolitan of Mwanza
- His Eminence Kallinikos (Pippas), Archbishop of Pilousion
- His Eminence Proterios (Pavlopoulos), Metropolitan of Ptolemais
- His Eminence Seraphim (Kykkotis), Metropolitan of Zimbabwe
- His Eminence Nicholas, Archbishop of Ermoupolis
- His Eminence Dimitrios (Zaharengas), Metropolitan of Irinopolis
- His Eminence Nikiforos (Mikragiannanitis), Archbishop of Central Africa
- His Eminence Emmanuel (Kiagias), Metropolitan of Khartoum and Sudan, Exarch of All Sudan
- His Eminence Gregory (Stergiou), Metropolitan of Cameroon, Exarch of Central Africa
- His Eminence George (Vladimirou), Archbishop of Accra (now Archbishop of Conakry & Guinea)
- His Eminence Ioakeim (Kontobas), Archbishop of Zambia
Diocesan Bishops
- His Grace Savvas (Heimonettos), Bishop of Burundi
- His Grace Ignatios (Sennis), Bishop of Madagascar
- His Grace Meletios (Kamiloudes), Bishop of Katanga
- His Grace Theodoros (Dimitriou), Bishop of Mozambique
- His Grace Gennadios of Botswana, Bishop of Botswana
Auxiliary Bishops
- His Grace Athanasios of Cyrene
- His Grace Gabriel of Mareotis
- His Grace Spyridon of Kanopou
- His Grace Nikodemos of Nitria
- His Grace Niphon of Babylon
Titular Archbishops
- His Excellency Theoklitos of Helioupolis
- His Excellency Philemon of Karvasos
- His Excellency Ioakeim of Tamiathus
- His Excellency Porfyrios of Thivais
- His Excellency Kyrillos of Nafkratis
Retired Bishops
His Eminence Panteleimon of Antinoe
Holy Archdioceses and Bishoprics
Archdiocese | Established | See | Jurisdiction |
Archdiocese of Memphis | ?? | Heliopolis, Cairo - Egypt | |
Archdiocese of Leontopolis | ?? | Ismailia - Egypt | Ismailia, Suez, Zagzik |
Archdiocese of Pilousion | ?? | Port Said - Egypt | Port Said, Mansoura, Damiette, Kantara |
Archdiocese of Ptolemais | ?? | Minia - Egypt | Upper Egypt, Luxor, Aswan, Minia, Fayum, Asiut, Beni Suef |
Archdiocese of Ermoupolis | ?? | Tanta – Egypt | |
Archdiocese of Tripolis | 1866, 1959, 2004 |
Tripoli - Libya | 'Libya' |
Archdiocese of Carthage | 1931 | Tunis - Tunisia | Tunisia, Algeria, Mauritania, Morocco |
Archdiocese of Cyrene | 2009 | Marsa Matrouh in Egypt | |
Archdiocese of Khartoum | ?? | Khartoum - Sudan | Sudan |
Archdiocese of Aksum | ?? | Addis-Abeba - Ethiopia | Ethiopia, Eritrea, Djibouti, Somalia |
Archdiocese of Kenya | ?? | Nairobi - Kenya | Kenya |
Archdiocese of Kampala and All Uganda | 1959 | Kampala - Uganda | Uganda |
Archdiocese of Accra | 1997, 2009 |
Accra - Ghana | Ghana, Ivory Coast, Liberia, Sierra Leone, Senegal, Mali, Burkina Faso, Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Gambia |
Archdiocese of Nigeria | 1997, 2004 |
Lagos - Nigeria | Nigeria, Niger, Benin, Togo |
Archdiocese of Cameroon | ?? | Yaounde - Cameroon | Cameroon, Chad, Central African Republic, Gabon, Equatorial Guinea, Islands of St Thomas and Principe |
Archdiocese of Central Africa | ?? | Kinshasa - Democratic Republic of Congo | Democratic Republic of Congo, Congo-Brazaville (Republic of the Congo) |
Diocese of Katanga | 2006, 2009 |
Lubumbasi - Congo | Katanga Province in the Congo |
Diocese of Burundi and Rwanda | 2009 | Bujumbura in Burundi | Burundi, Rwanda, a great area of the Eastern Congo |
Archdiocese of Mwanza | ?? | Bukoba - Tanzania | Tanzania |
Archdiocese of Irinoupolis | 1959 | Dar-es-Salaam - Tanzania | Tanzania, Seychelle Islands |
Archdiocese of Zambia | 2001, 2009 |
Lusaka - Zambia | Zambia, Malawi |
Archdiocese of Zimbabwe | ?? | Harare - Zimbabwe | Zimbabwe, Angola, Malawi, Botswana |
Archdiocese of Johannesburg and Pretoria | 1927 | Johannesburg - South Africa | (The areas from East Africa, the Equator down to the Cape of Good Hope) |
Archdiocese of the Cape of Good Hope | 1968 | Cape Town - South Africa | Namibia, Swaziland, Lesotho, and the following areas of the Cape (West and East): Port Elizabeth, East London, Bloemfontein, Welkom, George, Knysna, Kimberley, Pietermaritzburg, all Natal |
Diocese of Mozambique | 2006 | Maputo - Mozambique | Mozambique |
Diocese of Madagascar | 1997 | Antananarivo - Madagascar | Madagascar, Islands of Mauritius, Reunion, Comores, Maillot |
Diocese of Brazzaville and Gabon | 2010 | Brazzaville | Congo, Brazzaville, Gabon |
The Orthodox Archdiocese of Conakry and Guinea. Its territory includes the parishes and missions located in the countries of Sierra Leone, Liberia, Guinea, Guinea Bissau, Gambia, Senegal, and Cape Verde.
External links
- The Patriarchate of Alexandria (Official site)
- Archbishopric of Johannesburg and Pretoria
- The Metropolis of Cameroon Website (Official site)
- Patriarchate of Alexandria website - Archdioceses
- Patriarchate of Alexandria website - Dioceses
- Eastern Christian Churches: Patriarchate of Alexandria by Ronald Roberson, a Roman Catholic priest and scholar
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