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The explosion in world popularity of quinoa in the past six years has quadrupled prices at retail outlets. But for all the demand from upscale grocery stores in America to keep their bulk bins filled with the ancient grain-like seed, almost no farmers outside of the arid mountains and coastal valleys of Peru, Bolivia, Ecuador, and Chile grow it.
But plant breeders and scientists who study the biology and economics of quinoa say that is about to change.
"We're going to see quinoa being grown all over the place soon," predicts Kevin Murphy, a Washington State University grain breeder who has spent several years developing quinoa varieties suited to America's diverse geography and climates. Murphy says it's already clear that quinoa can flourish and produce high yields in many parts of North America, and he sees "no reason why quinoa production won't take off in the next few years."
Small-scale farmers in the Northwest are currently testing the crop, harvesting a few pounds of quinoa each fall among their rows of vegetables and fruits and selling the seeds at farmers markets, but quinoa farming in the United States has not yet taken off in a big way for multiple reasons.
First, Murphy says, the quinoa craze is such a new phenomenon that farmers have hardly had a chance to react. As recently as six years ago, American shoppers could buy quinoa for the rice-like price of $1.50 per pound. Now, retailers get between $4.50 and $8 for every pound they sell of this nutrient-dense superfood.
So clearly, growing quinoa — which is actually the seed of the goosefoot plant (Chenopodium quinoa) — could be lucrative for American farmers, though only in cooler regions. Quinoa is very heat sensitive, and experienced gardeners say temperatures of 95 degrees will completely destroy a crop. Another challenge to producing quinoa is rain. If it falls during the autumn harvest time, it can ruin the crunchy, high-protein seeds by causing them to sprout.
And then there's the problem of removing the saponin, the naturally-occurring bitter layer of compounds that deter pests, but makes uncleaned seeds all but inedible to people. Special cleaning systems would have to be set up to do this, as growers in South America have learned.
To date just one sizable operation, White Mountain Farm in the Colorado Rockies, has made a big investment in the seed. "When we first started [in 1987] there was no demand for quinoa," recalls owner Ernie New, who planted 120 acres of quinoa this May and harvested 70 after a summer of destructive weather. "Nobody knew how to grow it, to clean it, to prepare it, to eat it. There was no information at all about it." Today, New says, he receives far more orders than he can meet, many from restaurants and retailers hoping to market "locally grown" quinoa.
But for now, virtually every quinoa seed eaten in the United States is imported from South America. There, almost 80,000 tons of quinoa were harvested in 2010.
And it's not without challenges. In Bolivia, second in production to Peru, great prosperity has come to many farmers. But communities in the Bolivian Andes that formerly lived on quinoa have become unable to afford it and are now relying more on nutritionally inferior processed foods.
And property disputes are reportedly on the rise as South American entrepreneurs — often landless arrivals from the cities — compete with one another for growing space in the limited arable land of the Andes as they try to cash in on the quinoa craze. Bolivian llama herders are also abandoning their flocks, once the region's natural fertilizer source, and, instead, planting quinoa. This seems already to be causing declining soil productivity.
Most South American quinoa farms are at high elevation — some more than two miles above sea level—but quinoa is a highly adaptable and versatile species, according to Oregon nurseryman Frank Morton, owner of Wild Garden Seeds near Portland.
Morton has been growing and breeding quinoa since 1984. Heat and moisture remain frequent killers of most varieties, but through selective seed saving, Morton has transformed several original types of quinoa into at least five new ones that he says can thrive in North American climates "and produce great yields on terribly poor soil." He has seen quinoa plants freeze solid overnight and continue growing after thawing — making it a potential crop for mountainous regions where other fruits, grains and vegetables cannot be grown. He also has seen it grow at sea level.
Morton believes that the Rocky Mountains, much of Canada, and the Pacific Northwest all have potential as quinoa producing regions, and he says he's certain that a North American quinoa industry will soon boom.
"There is tremendous potential for quinoa," he says. "The key is simply figuring out where it will grow."
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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Credit Card Processing Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow
In this article, you'll learn:
EMV works for your security
How a POS system provides actionable analytics
Mobile commerce is the future
SumUp's technology encrypts data while processing payments
Credit card processing has come a long way since its dinosaur days as a Western Union-issued metal plate that offered neither credit nor convenience. When John Biggins developed the first credit system in 1946, charge cards were nothing more than rudimentary slips of paper, but within four years, the credit industry was booming.
Diners Club was first to jump on the bandwagon, followed swiftly by American Express in 1958. By the time the swinging Sixties rocked and rolled their way into the world, MasterCard and Amex were thriving. Neither credit card companies could have imagined how far their innovations would evolve.
Today's systems use radio frequency identifications, antennae, and microchips to process payments anywhere at any time. Few wallets in the USA lack a microchip. The next growth spurt will come from online card payments processing, as mobile wallets, transportable point of sale devices, and biometric security systems overtake the market
Preparing for Tomorrow's Payment Processing Technology Today
Much of the POS industry's future will simply be more widespread versions of the technology that's already available today. Mobile processing will one day create the first truly cashless society. Contactless payment systems with the biometric authentication were introduced to Asian markets in April 2017. These systems will soon use palm vein patterns and iris recognition without the need for batteries.
Today's retailers are thus left with only two options: to introduce EMV payment systems as a foundation for the coming years or sink under the weight of the innovations that are about to dominate the business world.
The security offered by the EMV technology in use today is unparalleled, and while mobile card processing will soon be the new global standard, the only way to gain that functionality is through EMV implementation.
EM What?
EMV is the technology created by Europay, MasterCard, and Visa to allow terminals to connect directly with a card's microchip, which generates a cryptogram to prevent fraud and theft. In simple terms, EMV chips are like tiny computers that carry and transfer information to and from mobile devices.
Contactless mobile payments can be achieved with NFC (near-field communication) or the more advanced Bluetooth technology. These techniques are often misunderstood to be independent of EMV, but they're actually extensions of chip and sign cards. For this reason, EMV implementation is the only way to lay the foundation for future advances.
The United States Steps into the Race
Although the United States only implemented EMV as a national standard recently, many facets of it are already mandatory. The 2015 liability shift placed responsibility for card fraud firmly on business' shoulders if they lacked EMV technology.
The only way to insure yourself against liability is by processing EMV cards, but not doing so is doing your customers a disservice too. Magnetic stripes are easily replicated because they store information that never changes. Counterfeiters can thus easily convert them into cash.
EMV chips generate a new transaction number every time they're used. They can't be duplicated in traditional ways, and as long as your reader encrypts all the data it receives, EMV protects against identity theft as well.
Historically, the credit card sector has only used partial solutions to theft to save pennies in exchange for exorbitant credit card processing fees. EMV is the first sound investment into fraud protection made by the industry in years, and it's come with even lower fees for its users.
For example charges no monthly costs or fixed fees. Only one fee is ever levied per transaction, and it's calculated as a percentage of the payment.
Credit card processing for small business has at last become a viable option, even for companies that need to manage transactions at their clients' doorsteps.
Your Future through Analytics
Tomorrow's business world will be more automated and artificially intelligent than even George Orwell could have imagined, but analytics and AI are already raising profits today. The days when credit card payment processing was simply a method of payment are over.
Today, your card reader is not just a POS system, but a business partner, gathering information that can enhance every aspect of your business from its executive management to its accounting. The data captured by credit card processing machines is valuable, and it can be converted to insights that affect your bottom line.
The key to creating a flexible analytics strategy lies in the universality of its software. Credit card processing that feeds data into programs like Excel immediately gains the capacity to extract information from a huge range of compatible analytics applications. Card payments processing can integrate with your:
Payroll and human resources management by recording each staff member's sales and hours.
Marketing department by gathering information about your current promotions and campaigns. This way, marketers can adjust and improve on their efforts while gathering information about your demographic.
Loyalty and gift card programs.
Accounting department by automating payouts and other aspects of bookkeeping.
Product research and development including niche industry insights such as restaurant menu optimization and shift preparation
Actionable analytics can be taken to their zenith with API-created applications that link to your credit card processing reader.
They will turn your data into visual information and provide static dashboards so that you can achieve flexibility with your metrics and small data. This way, you'll be able to monitor your sales as they relate to any corresponding promotions, product lines, or human resources strategies you've implemented.
You belong to the era of big data. All you have to do to benefit from it is choose a credit card payment processing tool that can integrate with API applications.
The Mobile Credit Card Processing Generation
One day, simply tapping one device to another will be enough to process a payment, yet even today, merchant credit card processing has already shifted into a mobile landscape. Seven percent of Android users and 17% of Apple users had used mobile credit card processing by the end of 2015.
The trend had a patchy beginning, partially disrupted by the EMV revolution, which offered better technology than mobile services alone could provide. Tap-to-pay technology is still evolving, with wrist devices and the like entering the market. As mobile credit card processing becomes more secure, smartphones will become a more common way to handle contactless payment processing.
Until then, readers like SumUp are small and mobile enough to travel door to door or table to table. Credit card payment processing has changed the way businesses operate, allowing them to accept payments online and off from anywhere, as long as there's a mobile phone or tablet in reach.
Is your business ready to tackle payments? Get the SumUp Card Reader!
Increase your payment acceptance by taking debit, credit and contactless payments. Pay only 2.65% per transaction. No monthly contacts. No hidden fees. Ever.
The Future of e-Commerce
Charles Stack created the world's first online store in 1992, three years before the internet became fully commercialized. Globalization is now in full swing, and in the coming decade, Inc. magazine projects that the boundaries between on and offline businesses will evaporate.
If you think the internet is the marketplace of the future, though, you'd be wrong. M-commerce (mobile commerce) is expected to be the next giant trend, leading point of sale systems globally.
Automated payment processing will detect client preferences and their price sensitivity so that card processing can integrate more thoroughly into your marketing strategy. Customized card payments processing will eventually advance to offer each unique buyer a specialized pricing and payment structure so that you lose fewer shoppers at the point of sale, but it's not too early to start putting personalized programs in place.
SumUp gives you access to a wide range of payment applications through API management tools. API stands for application programming interface, and it lets you create applications and services that "plug" into your reader.
Technophobes needn't worry about development—there are a host of applications ready and waiting for you that can manage subscription plans, automate your billing, and manage your inventory.
API can turn credit card processing for small business into an automated, highly intelligent business analyst who interacts uniquely with every buyer you have.
The Credit Card Crisis
Credit card data breaches have been a sore point in the industry for years, and their costs seep into the lives of your buyers as much as they detract from your revenue.
Customers can and do move onto alternative retailers if they feel your method of accepting credit card payments isn't secure enough. The press is quick to publish every data breach catastrophe that happens, frequently creating a social media crisis of epic proportions that affects you more than you might realise.
EMV has created a significant dent in these numbers in all 80 of the countries that have used it. Retailers experienced a 26% drop in card counterfeiting year over year due to EMV migration. Contrast that to the annual 20.6% increase in card fraud until now and you find chip and sign technology is winning the race.
History proves that theft will always evolve with the technology that fights it, and a 2016 Iovation/Aite Group study found that the majority of tomorrow's credit card fraud will come from payments processed online without a card. In other words, the mobile and chip card revolution will do precisely what it was intended to do: eradicate card counterfeiting.
Your Point of Sale, Tomorrow
When whisky dealer James Ritty developed the first point of sale system in 1879, he called it "incorruptible." It was a simple tool to prevent staff thefts, but it was the first step towards what has become a $36 billion industry.
It was only in the disco era that cash registers became computerized. By 2014, m-commerce solutions became the sector's most important technological advancement, with chip and sign cards following closely behind.
Today's POS system doesn't wait for buyers to come to it—it travels to customers wherever they are, but an even bigger revolution is on the way. Experts predict that, by 2020, the POS sector will be worth around $150 billion. This projection is critical to the way you handle purchases today because it spells out how sophisticated your POS strategy needs to be if it's to compete.
An EMV-based POS is, however, one of the cheapest ways to gain market share.
Your Future, the Profitable Way
Your credit card processing system is only as useful as its software, which needs to support every operating system, integrate with all your other programmes, and fit seamlessly into your point of sale strategy.
SumUp's software development kit 9SDK functions on Android and iOS. Transaction IDs are generated for each payment, and sensitive information is kept off your phone.
The terminal is one of the few on the market that encrypts sensitive information so that your buyers' data never falls into the wrong hands.
Service excellence depends on payment security, and no business can afford the losses associated with data breaches. With credit card processing fees of only 2.75% of each transaction, SumUp packs enough value into its service to deliver outstanding returns on investment that leaks into every aspect of your business. Your future success is within reach, and SumUp will lead you there.
SumUp offers you the best solution in card payments. With SumUp, you can quickly and easily accept credit and debit card payments with your smartphone or tablet.
In Summary
EMV payment processing is a must for your clients' security and a must to keep up with competitors in the wake of this innovative age. With the right credit card processor, you can join the realm of mobile commerce while harnessing the available analytical tools to propel your business into the future.
Popular articles
How to Leverage Your Credit Card Terminal to Improve Your Point of Sale — Learn more about Credit Card Terminals and EMV standard in the USA. Your point of sale strategy should actively contribute to your marketing and stock control systems.
The USA's Shift to the Brave New World of EMV Card Reader Technology — Improve your business offer by starting accepting credit card payments including EMV chip ✔ Learn more about EMV technology, history and security of credit card terminals.
The Credit Card Reader That Fits In Your Pocket and Suits Your Pocket — Expand your knowledge about mobile credit card readers and increase your competitive edge by staring to accept credit card paymnets on your iPhone, iPad or Android device. Portable wireless terminal easy to implement to your business model.

subset: commoncrawl


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If you haven't read (or contributed) to the "Best Sports Event You've Ever Attended Live" Comment string, it's a must-read, 100-plus and counting. Click here.
I've been fascinated by the MLB "42" tribute to Jackie Robinson this weekend. What began as a Ken Griffey tribute turned into 150 players -- even entire teams -- wearing No. 42. (Here's a full list.)
Does more equal better? Does it cheapen the tribute? Does every player have a right to show respect in the way they want? (Garret
I'm curious how you feel about it, and what you would do if you were an MLB player on Sunday. Personally, I would wear the "42" because it represents a unique moment -- if no longer a unique way -- to honor Robinson, who deserves every honor that MLB and fans ever give him.
Robinson's entry into Major League Baseball continues to rank as the most significant event in the history of American sports.
For Florida fans (and Duke fans) only, I presume. But I know many some of you are. (Simply put: Best. T-Shirt. Ever. Probably getting its own post later this a.m., and not just because I co-produced them. Well, OK: Yes, just because I co-produced them.)
NFL Draft: Thanks to everyone who chipped in with their GM-style opinions about who I/we should take with the first overall pick in the Sports Blogger NFL Mock Draft. I'm not supposed to give away the answer until the draft is revealed on Monday, but suffice to say I went with the Best Player Available. And you all know who that is.
(Via ProFootballTalk and the NFL Net, it's not like I'm crazy with the pick. The Raiders are apparently totally torn between QB Russell and WR Johnson. If they go with Russell, the rumor is that the Lions will pick Johnson with the intention of trading him. But given the other rumors that Brett Favre is talking about the certainty that Randy Moss will be in
Must-Read of the Day: ESPN ombudswoman Leanne Schreiber on the shouting-head culture of ESPN, probably the most reasonable and credible analysis -- of anything -- that has been on the site in a while. And perhaps the best piece of sports-media criticism of the year.
NFL Moves: WR David Patten signs with Saints. Who wants to bet that, in that system, with those players around him, he has a rebound year? Smart move for both sides.
NBA: Who would have guessed that it was Dwyane Wade's knee, not his shoulder, that would be cause for concern right now?
NBA Draft/Lottery Watch: With the Celtics ready to clinch the second-worst record with a loss to the Bucks tonight, isn't it quaint that Doc Rivers continues to insist his team isn't tanking. Please, Doc: Keep winning just enough to slip out of that No. 2 spot. See how that works out for you...
NBA Playoffs Watch: Gutsy win by the Clippers over the Lakers, despite
I salute you,
MLB: Nats win! Nats win! (And they blank the Braves in doing it, too.) Meanwhile, Mark Prior has "shoulder discomfort?" OK, who had "April 12" in the pool... Speaking of office pools, who had "April 12" for Gil Meche's inevitable injury?
College Football: Turn back the clock. After a brutal one-year experiment that drew criticism from -- well -- everyone, the NCAA changed the clock rules back to the 2005 way of doing things. The ends of many games just got a lot more exciting.
Olympics: Should the USOC pick
Duke LAX, cont'd: I'm not surprised the players didn't accept the apology of overzealous DA Mike Nifong. They have no obligation to. But they could go a long way in beginning to repair their tarnished reps by doing it, whether he truly deserves it or not. At this point, it's not about absolving Nifong but elevating themselves.
Imus, Cont'd: Fired by CBS, too. I continue to be amazed at how NBC is handling this -- they recognize that in this era of media scrutiny and consumer power, being transparent(-ish) and fairly reactive(-ish) is better than the traditional tactics of obfuscation and delay, which is basically how Imus had kept his job through the years. (My question: How do all those media and political "elites" he brought on as guests justify their affiliation with him? Answer: They can't.)
Meanwhile, Stuart Scott has clarified his "it's good to be a 'ho" remarks from earlier this week. I appreciate the added nuance (absent before), but he still seems to be approving of the word's use. (Not sure why he simply wouldn't say, "You know what? I was totally wrong. It's NEVER okay to use that word.")
Yahoo buying Rivals.com for $100 million? Bold move for Yahoo for, as one sports-business insider told me, a "glorified message board." But I don't think he meant that derisively. It IS, by far, the best sports message board system found anywhere. Perhaps because of the subscription hurdle, but the users who participate seem to care a lot more than your standard message-board fan. And the info/rumors feeding those boards is amazing. Any college sports reporter who isn't a Rivals.com subscriber should be axed for incompetence.
Happy birthday, Mom.


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Dental Implants
Many people call Coast Dental Port Charlotte to ask if dental implants would be a good solution to replace missing teeth or to secure a denture in place. Dental implants are a strong, long-lasting solution that lets you eat, talk, and smile with confidence for years to come.
A dental implant is a titanium post that is shaped like a small screw. The dentist or specialist places the post in the bone under your gums. The bone will gradually grow around the dental implant, creating a strong base for a crown, bridge, or fixed denture. Best of all, dental implants have a documented success rate of more than 95%, which is significantly higher than other tooth-replacement options.
How Dental Implants Work
At our Coast Dental office in Port Charlotte, we can use dental implants to replace missing teeth in several ways.
- Single Tooth Replacement: When you have one tooth missing, a single dental implant is inserted into the bone to replace the tooth root. Once that has healed, the dentist will place a custom-made, color-matched, stain-resistant crown on top of the dental implant so that it looks like a natural tooth. Best of all, a dental implant will never decay or need a root canal.
- Multiple Tooth Replacement: If you have more than one tooth missing, your dentist may recommend placing dental implants to secure a bridge. For example, if you are missing three teeth in a row, then the dentist may recommend placing two implants, one on other side of the gap, and then topping it with a three-point bridge. One of the advantages of having dental implants anchor a bridge is that the dental implants won't weaken or decay.
- Fixed Implant-Supported Dentures: Dental implants can also support a complete denture, which is an entire row of replacement teeth. Typically, the dentist or specialist will place four dental implant posts, and the denture will be attached. Implant-supported dentures are secure in the mouth. They don't flap or slip like a normal denture can. That makes it easier to speak and eat.
What Do Dental Implants Cost?
Dental implants are often a cost-effective option when viewed as a long-term investment in your health, comfort, and well-being. Initially, implants are more expensive than other tooth-replacement methods such as dentures or bridgework. But dental implants last longer; in fact, most never need to be replaced.
We recommend you check with your dental insurance company to see what portion may be covered by your dental benefits. Coast Dental Port Charlotte also has third-party financing partnerships which may be able to help you work the cost of dental implants into your family budget.
The first step is to schedule a consultation to see if a dental implant is the right option for you. If you are missing one or more teeth, call our dentist in Port Charlotte at (941) 255-8500 today.
Related Articles
The Hidden Consequences of Losing Teeth For those missing even one tooth, an unsightly gap is actually the least significant problem. What's of far greater concern is the bone loss that inevitably follows tooth loss. Dental implants can preserve bone, improve function and enhance psychological well-being. Learn how implants serve both… Read Article
Dental Implants – Your Best Option For Replacing Teeth Dental implants have many advantages over older methods of tooth replacement like bridges and dentures — from the way they function and feel to the way they look and last. Vigorous research has documented and confirmed that in the right situations, dental implant success rates are over 95%. It is no exaggeration to say that they have revolutionized dentistry. They may even change your life… Read Article


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My older daughter really really wanted to have marshmallow guns at her birthday party a few weeks ago. I was a little bit reluctant seeing as there were going to be about 20 kids there and I had visions of some poor kid getting one point blank in the eye or something horrendous, so I said "we'll think about it". After a bit of a conflab we came up with a plan that would work.
We put together twenty marshmallow gun "kits", so that the kids could make and decorate their own marshmallow guns using a simple instruction sheet, and then they could battle it out safely with a shoulder bag of ammo, a paper plate shield and some heinously cheap swimming goggles.
It was a really cute experience to go to Lowes with the kids and find and count out all the bits that we needed to make enough marshmallow guns for everyone. It ended up costing just about a dollar a gun and my daughter had fun counting out and checking off the parts we needed while her little sister tried on the larger plumbing fixtures like bracelets.
The hubster used his pipe cutter to cut up the three long pipes we bought into 3, 4 and 5 inch pieces, and we sent everything through the dishwasher to sanitize it (it was pretty much a full load!)
Here's the kit packed up in a ziplock bag ready to hand out
...and here's the contents of the kit:
- mouth piece
- T-junction
- end cap for the handle
- three lengths of pvc pipe
- instruction sheet
- sheet of stickers (halloween ones because it was a spooky halloween party)
- halloween treat bag filled with mini marshmallows for ammunition and with string tied to be a shoulder bag.
- swimming goggles (these we found for less than a dollar each online and they are pretty good ones that I'm sure the kids will use after the party is over)
- paper plate shield that was just made by stapling a piece of card across a paper plate so you could fit your arm through and wear it on your forearm.
The parents at the party helped their kids to put them together and read the rules of combat. Then the kids had fun blasting marshmallows at each other. The shields doubled up as targets for the smaller kids to shoot at too.
Only at one of our family's parties can you expect the party favours to be some pvc pipe and a pair of swimming goggles!
The birthday girl was very happy that her freinds got to play marshmallow gun wars with her and I was very happy that no one got maimed by high velocity candy on my watch.
Here's a copy of the instruction sheet I put together rather hurredly at 1.30am the night before the party. It ain't too fancy, but it did the job and you are welcome to use it yourself or adapt it's contents for your own marshmallowy warfare. Just click on the thumbnail below and that should take you to a full resolution image to save and print. It is US letter size, not A4, so if you want to print it on A4 paper then you'll have to remember to select "fit to page".Judging by the amount of fun all of the dads at the party seemed to have with the whole thing, I recon it would make a great father's day party activity if you got a load of dads and kids together in teams for some marshmallow gun building and battling. Maybe with targets and games and challenges!


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CrockPot Baked Oatmeal Recipe
Day 331.
Thanksgiving is tomorrow. I think I'm in denial.
If you're looking for tried-and-true CrockPot Holiday (any holiday!) Dishes, here's a list.
Today, however, I'm posting about baked oatmeal. I started making baked oatmeal when my first was about a year old and I was working out of the house. The mornings were never long enough, and I wanted her to have something hearty (and healthy) for breakfast. I'd make a pan on the weekend and cut off squares each morning for her to eat in the car.
It worked really well.
Baked oatmeal can be uber-healthy, or packed with sugar. I've cut the sugar and butter in half since I first started making it. If you think your family will meet this with resistance, start with a full cup of brown sugar (no need to double the butter in the crockpot, there's plenty of moisture) and then cut it back each time. You can sneak in nuts (ground or whole), extra grains, fresh and dried fruit, and protein powder.
The Ingredients.
--3 cups rolled (not instant) oats (if gluten free, make sure they are certified)
--1/2 cup brown sugar
--2 tsp cinnamon
--2 tsp baking powder
--1 tsp salt
--2 T flax meal (optional)
--1 cup milk
--2 eggs
--2 tsp vanilla
--1/4 cup butter, melted
--3/4 cup dried fruit
updated 11/29: if you are going to use steel-cut oats, you'll need more liquid. I don't know how much though, so if you figure it out, let me know! :-)
The Directions.
I used a 4 quart round crockpot. You're baking this, but no need to vent the lid of the crock; keep all the moisture in.
I really wanted this to take 6 hours on low so I could see if it could be done overnight. It took 4 3/4 on low for me----so unless you hardly sleep, do this in the day time so you can keep an eye on it.
Mix all the ingredients together in the crockpot. I dumped in all the dry stuff, then added the melted butter and milk. Stir well with a spoon---make sure the baking powder gets dispersed evenly.
Cover and cook on low for 3-5 hours, checking every so often. This is done when the edges are brown and are beginning to crust, and the center is set. An inserted knife should come out clean.
Let it sit in the cooling crockpot for at least an hour before attempting to cut. The longer you let it sit, the more set and brownie-like the pieces will be.
The Verdict.
I made this on Sunday evening and it's already all gone. The kids hadn't had it in a while and had a bunch for breakfast each day and wanted it for dessert last night. The flavor is like a great big oatmeal cookie. I like mine heated with my morning coffee, and Adam likes to crumble his on top of yogurt.


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Old-Fashioned Birthday Cake
Inspired by Sweetapolita
I initially saw a cake similar to this one on Sweetapolita, and I was immediately obsessed with the idea of making an old-fashioned cake. I wavered between tinting the cake robin's egg blue or pale yellow, but I decided on the former and I am thrilled with the choice. To get that color, I used a combination of Americolor gel food coloring in Sky Blue and Turquoise, and I can tell you that if you get it right it will exactly match a Tiffanys box. ;) The taste and texture of the cakes is perfection, and my vanilla buttercream frosting is something that I can rely on being fantastic every time. For the angel feather frosting, I might skip it the next time around and just frost the entire cake with buttercream; it was a little hard to work with and maybe not worth the extra effort. To frost this entire cake in buttercream, double the recipe below.
Recipe for Snow White Vanilla Cake, from Food That Really Schmecks:
1/2 cup unsalted butter (1 stick)
2 cups granulated sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 tsp salt
3 tsp baking powder
1 1/2 cups ice water
1 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
1/2 tsp almond extract
4 egg whites, beaten until they hold stiff peaks (set aside while you make the batter)
Special equipment: 3 8-inch round cake pans, parchment paper cut into 8-inch rounds
Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Prepare round cake pans by spraying with non-stick spray or greasing the pans; then place parchment round in the bottom of the pan and spray or grease that as well.
In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream butter and sugar together until fluffy, about 3 minutes. Meanwhile, whisk together flour, salt and baking powder in a large bowl. To make the cake batter, add the flour mixture and the ice water to the creamed butter, alternating between wet and dry ingredients and beating after each addition After everything is well mixed, add the vanilla and almond extracts, mix again to incorporate, and then fold in the beaten egg whites until the batter is smooth. Divide evenly between the prepared pans, smooth the top of the batter, and bake for approximately 30 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. Cool the cakes completely on cooling racks, then remove from the baking pans and discard the parchment. Cakes can be prepared ahead of time - kept well-wrapped they can be refrigerated for 2 days or frozen for 1 week.
Recipe for Vanilla Buttercream Frosting:
1 cup unsalted butter (2 sticks)
3 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1/4 tsp salt
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1-2 tbsp milk
In the bowl of a stand mixer, cream butter until smooth, then turn to low and add powdered sugar in two additions. Beat on low until incorporated, then beat on medium speed until the frosting is smooth. (Sifting your powdered sugar ahead of time helps to get a smooth frosting.) Add the salt, vanilla extract, and milk, and beat until smooth again. If the frosting is thick enough for you, add any coloring you like; use immediately or refrigerate tightly sealed. To make the frosting thicker, add an additional 1/2-1 cup powdered sugar. To make the frosting thinner, add an additional 1-2 tbsp milk.
Recipe for Angel Feather Frosting, from Food that Really Schmecks:
I didn't quite realize it when I made this frosting, but it has a texture very similar to fluff, which is interesting because I was expecting it to be more fluff-y. Just be forewarned, that although it is extremely delicious, it is also tricky to work with.
2 egg whites
3/4 cup sugar
1/3 cup corn syrup
2 tbsp water
1/4 tsp salt
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
Combine all the ingredients except for the vanilla extract in the top of a double boiler over high heat. (I would be remiss if I didn't remind you not to let the top bowl touch the boiling water below. No one wants scrambled eggs in their frosting!) Use a hand mixer or beater immediately start whipping the eggs, and continue to do so until the mixture stands in stiff peaks. Remove from heat, add vanilla extract, and continue beating until it is cooler and thick enough to spread. (Mine became very thick.) Add coloring if you like, and use immediately to frost your cake.
To assemble cake: place one cake layer on a cardboard round or serving plate, add a layer of buttercream icing, then top with a second cake layer. Repeat for with the icing and the third cake layer. Then use the buttercream to add a thin crumb coat of frosting all over the cake, and smooth out the sides and top. This is done most easily using an offset spatula. Put the cake in the refrigerator for at least 45 minutes, then use either the angel feather icing or a doubled batch of buttercream frosting to cover the rest of the cake. Decorate with edible gold stars or sprinkles if you prefer. If using the angel feather icing, it is best to frost the cake and serve it immediately. If using buttercream frosting, the frosted cake can be kept refrigerated and covered overnight.


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Entertainment » The Comedy Works » Lavell Crawford
Comedian, Lavell Crawford is quickly climbing the comedic ranks and becoming one of the hottest stars in the biz today. He filmed a new one-hour special in his home town of St. Louis, "Can A Brother Get Some Love?," and is on DVD from Entertainment One. In addition, he filmed an episode of "Workaholics" for Comedy Central and he's been casted in a recurring role on the AMC's Emmy Award-winning "Breaking Bad." If that's not enough, he was also seen as a regular panelist on E! Entertainment's "Chelsea Lately" and a regular on "Lopez Tonight," performing in various comedy sketches on the show.
From his numerous television appearances and as one of the hottest touring acts in the country, audiences are becoming increasingly familiar with Lavell's giant-sized talent. Lavell gained huge national exposure on NBC's hit reality series "Last Comic Standing." Not only did NBC take notice, promptly signing Lavell to a holding deal with the network, but also Comedy Central, offering him his own half-hour standup special, "Comedy Central Presents: Lavell Crawford." Lavell's stand-out work includes appearances on "Shaquille O'Neal Presents: All Star Comedy Jam" which premiered on Showtime in December, "Russell Simmons' Def Comedy Jam" on HBO, "Showtime at the Apollo," "Martin Lawrence Presents 1st Amendment," "Comic's Unleashed with Byron Allen," "Steve Harvey's Big Time" "Comedy Central's Premium Blend," "Motown Live" and "BET's Comic View."
In addition, Lavell has appeared in the films "Baby's Mama Drama," "Beverlyhood," "Ghetto South Problems," and on the televised series "The Jamie Foxx Show." On stage, he played Ben in the hit play "Men Cry in the Dark," based on the Michael Baisden best seller. Lavell also recently appeared on stage with the critically acclaimed production "Friends and Lovers," a stage production based on the novel by author Eric Jerome Dickey where he played the scene-stealing Bobby. The play also featured notable actors such as Miguel Nunez ("Juwana Man"), Leon ("The Five Heartbeats"), Monica Calhoun ("The Best Man"), Mel Jackson ("Soul Food") and Maia Campbell ("In the House"). Endeared by audiences far and wide, Lavell has built a very strong fan base playing theatres, comedy clubs and colleges across the nation in addition to festivals including HBO's US Comedy Arts Festival, The Comedy Festival and LAFFAPALOOZA, America's longest-running annual urban comedy festival.
Event Details:
Location Plaza Showroom
Friday August 6, 2021 - 9pm Doors 8pm
Saturday August 7, 2021 - 9pm Doors 8pm


text: pikwizard-fcab4281ae4218cd58ad62b42b2fccc2 Amy Boyington Amy is a mom of two, freelance writer, and blog manager who works with family-focused businesses to improve their content strategies. You can find her work on Reader's Digest, Savvy by Savings[dot]com, Niche, Health Digest, and other lifestyle publications. Find her on LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Twitter Instagram Pinterest LinkedIn Previous Post Leave a Reply Cancel Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.


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Justin Timberlake's best friend Trace Ayala used to be with Elisha Cuthbert. Cuthbert allegedly cheated on Ayala with Sean Avery (um, I know) so JT supposedly wrote What Goes Around to call her out. This, of course, was before Olivia Munn. Ahem.
Justin Bieber's friend Ryan Good was dating Ashley Benson. I don't watch Pretty Little Liars so I'd never heard of her before Spring Breakers came to TIFF. Apparently Bieber and Selena Gomez would double with Ryan and Ashley all the time and according to Radar, Selena liked Ashley so much she even hooked her up with the part on Spring Breakers when Emma Roberts dropped out because she didn't want to put on weight for the role -- which, can we talk about that later because, um, Ashley Benson is pretty fit in Spring Breakers so ...what the f-ck, Emma Roberts???
Let's pretend that Radar actually reported a story accurately for once...
Ashley and Ryan are not together anymore. Because James Franco is smarter and sexier than everyone, especially a friend of Justin Bieber.
Page Six reported yesterday that Ashley and The Artist are totally hooking up. This Instagram photo posted when the two were at Universal Studios recently confirms that. Now Selena and Justin are really mad so Justin's writing a revenge song about it. I made up that last part but, you know, it's not like it's impossible.
But did Ryan Good really have a chance? Ashley Benson is 22. To her, everything The Artist says and does must be magic. He's ostensibly f-cking a fangirl, only this one is in the business. Which is perfect should he want to turn their relationship into performance art. Speaking of performance art...
Joaquin Phoenix's I'm Still Here...
Did you read his interview in Interview? Everyone was talking last week about Phoenix's comments re: the Oscar season and that he could give a f-ck about awards but the most interesting part of the article was his description of what it was like during filming for I'm Still Here. The way he tells it, Casey Affleck was actually, like, the driving force behind all that crazy behaviour. And Joaquin, like most great actors, did what his director told him to do. Even though he knew everyone would hate him. And we did. And they called it performance art. Which is what James Franco claims to be doing, sometimes, whenever he's not writing poems or directing movies, or talking about poems and movies and teaching about his own poems and movies.
Curiously enough, Franco was initially approached by PT Anderson for Phoenix's part in The Master. If you've seen The Master, you know that Phoenix's performance was... I mean... he's a dick, for sure, but he's also BRILLIANT in the film. Anyway, how did he end up with the role and not James Franco? Well, if you believe Franco, it was because Franco has too much confidence in himself. I can't paraphrase The Artist and do him justice. Click here to read his account of why he's not in The Master.
Now imagine what a woman would have to endure to be in a relationship with him.


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Darrell Royal, who coached the University of Texas Longhorns to three national titles "and became the biggest college football icon in a state that worships the sport, has died at age 88," Austin's American-Statesman reports.
"The most successful, most beloved coach in Texas Longhorns history," ESPN adds, "succumbed early Wednesday after a debilitating fight with Alzheimer's disease."
According to the College Football Hall of Fame, "Royal is credited with two innovations that set Texas out in front of the rest of the nation in offensive strategy: his 'Flip-Flop Winged-T' in 1962 and the Wishbone in 1968." Under Royal, the Longhorns won national championships in 1963, 1969 and 1970.
But to the team's fans, ESPN says, "Royal stood for more than winning. Royal represented integrity, respect and a romanticized past."
The coach was also famous, the American-Statesman says, for his:
"Royalisms — a lifetime of sayings that are still quoted today. He is credited with the oft-repeated line, 'Dance with one who brung ya' to describe a reluctance to change football strategy in mid-game or midseason. He'd say a fast running back was 'quicker than a hiccup.' Royal oft said luck was a result of 'when preparation meets opportunity.' Before his final season, which ended with a 5-5-1 record, he fretted that his team looked 'as average as everyday wash.' "
In 23 years of coaching at three schools (Mississippi State and Washington before he went to Texas in 1957), Royal had a 184-60-5 record. He retired from coaching after the 1976 season, and was the athletic director at Texas until 1980.
The Longhorns play their home games in Darrell K Royal-Texas Memorial Stadium, which holds 100,119 fans.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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It now seems like a natural rite of summer — open-air classical music festivals where audiences can hear great music while picnicking under the stars. But 75 years ago, when the Boston Symphony first performed on a former estate called Tanglewood in the Berkshire Mountains of Western Massachusetts, it was a novel idea.
When Serge Koussevitzy, the Russian-born conductor of the Boston Symphony Orchestra, opened Tanglewood in 1937, he chose an all-Beethoven program, including the "Pastoral" Symphony. And when conductor Christoph von Dohnanyi opened the 75th-anniversary season last weekend, he re-created it.
Symphonies Amid The Scenery
Beethoven's musical tribute to nature, complete with bird calls, seems a perfect companion to the bucolic charms of Tanglewood. When you walk through the trees and open fields of the campus, you come across music everywhere: French-horn players rehearsing Strauss in a cabin in the woods, a string quartet playing through some contemporary music by John Harbison on a concert stage, two trumpets rehearsing Beethoven in a barn.
"It's a place where music and nature come together in the most wonderfully natural way," says composer and conductor John Williams, who has been coming to Tanglewood every summer since 1980, when he was named music director of the Boston Pops. "We learn something about ourselves as musicians and as listeners out here every day, when we're here among the trees and the beautiful weather."
When Koussevitzky opened Tanglewood's first season — in the middle of the Great Depression — the orchestra played in a tent. After a thunderstorm damaged it, the Boston Symphony built a modest but more permanent structure: a shed with a dirt floor in the auditorium and wooden seats, which wouldn't be out of place at a baseball stadium. And, with the exception of a little acoustical fine tuning, the structure has basically remained the same.
The Stars Come Out To Teach At Tanglewood
Over its 75-year history, Tanglewood has attracted some of the finest musicians in the world — not only to perform, but also to teach. Giants like Aaron Copland and Leonard Bernstein were fixtures for years, and these days Yo-Yo Ma and Emanuel Ax are among the faculty of the Music Center, which serves as a training ground for young musicians. Every summer, 150 of them, most in their early 20s, study at Tanglewood without paying a dime, says Boston Symphony managing director Mark Volpe.
"We invest $3 [million] to $4 million every year in training musicians, you know, for every other orchestra in the country and beyond," Volpe says.
Tom Rolfs, who is now principal trumpet of the Boston Symphony and teaches at Tanglewood, first came as an 18-year-old student straight out of Minnesota.
"The very first day I sat down in the orchestra, and Seiji Ozawa was on the podium," Rolfs says, "followed by Klaus Tennstedt, followed by a lesson from Gunther Schuller — a very strict lesson on how I should be accenting in Strauss — and then, Leonard Bernstein. So if that doesn't change your life, nothing will."
Rolfs and fellow BSO trumpeter Ben Wright are in charge of the five trumpet fellows this summer. David Cohen, 24, says just hearing the two of them has changed his approach to the instrument.
"You know, you can say, 'Do this differently, try this more, try this less,' but in the end, when you hear someone like Tom or Ben play it five feet away from you, it's worth a thousand words," Cohen says.
Socializing At Tanglewood
Of course, all the music-making in the world wouldn't mean anything without an audience, and they come in droves — about 350,000 tickets are sold every summer. Last weekend, Greg Passin came up from New York City to meet some friends, have a picnic and listen to some Beethoven. It's relaxed, he says, but there's a certain comfortable ritual.
"People are coming with their chairs and their tables and their bottles of wine, and clearly it's something they do all the time and have very specific ways of doing it," Passin says. "And, you know, they see their friends and acquaintances who do the same thing and meet with them. So it's the social aspect, as well as the musical."
Some have been coming for decades, like Bob Rosenblatt, a WWII vet. His first visit was in 1947, and he's been a volunteer usher for 40 years.
"My role as an usher prepares me not to listen closely, because you need to be aware of those people," Rosenblatt says. "But you do listen. Man, you do listen to those concerts. Every concert's my first. Doesn't it sound Pollyanna-ish? But it's true."
On Saturday night, Tanglewood officially celebrates its 75th anniversary with a gala concert featuring Yo-Yo Ma, John Williams and James Taylor, among others. It will be broadcast as part of the Great Performances series on PBS in August.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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We're going to hear now about a play on stage here in Los Angeles, though it's set in another hot city, it's called "One Night In Miami," and it's based on a real event. On February 25th, 1964, the young Cassius Clay defeated world heavyweight champion Sonny Liston. Clay, who would soon change his name to Muhammad Ali, celebrated his victory in a small hotel room with three of the most prominent African-Americans of the time.
That's what happened. This new play imagines what might have gone down among the four that night at the dawn of the civil rights movement. Here's Iris Mann.
IRIS MANN, BYLINE: No one expected Cassius Clay to beat Sonny Liston, so it seems no victory party was planned, says playwright Kemp Powers.
KEMP POWERS: So he went back to the Hampton House hotel in the black section of Miami called the Overtown, to Malcolm X's motel room and the only other people with him there that night were Jim Brown, Sam Cooke and a couple of other nation of Islam ministers. So the idea that these four incredible men were together for a night in a room and no one had ever kind of delved into it, it seemed like a wonderful idea to explore in a work of fiction.
MANN: While the gathering really happened, Powers invented all of the dialogue, including Clay's reliving of the moment he won.
MATT JONES: (As Cassius Clay) Charles, Sonny Liston, would not leave his corner to start the round and Cassius Marcellus Clay is the new heavyweight champion of the world and I don't even have a scratch on my face. Oh, my god.Why am I so pretty?
MANN: The playwright's invention is based on extensive research, watching documentaries and news footage.
MUHAMMAD ALI: I am the king of the world. I'm pretty...
UNIDENTIFIED MAN: Hold it, hold it, hold it. You're not that pretty.
MANN: As well as reading biographies and statements by the four men. Then, Powers says, he had to get beyond the public personas.
POWERS: Each of them has taken on such an iconic status. Now the whole point of tackling this in this play was, as opposed to having them stand around and make speeches, let's try to strip away some of the iconography and make them more human.
MANN: Still, it was hard for the actors to get past the icons. Jason Delane plays Malcolm X.
JASON DELANE: When I first got the script, I was thrilled. And I got the audition and I was thrilled. And I got the callback and I was thrilled. And then I got the offer for the role, and I was terrified. To take on an icon is a daunting task.
MANN: Delane, like the other actors and the playwright, hadn't even been born in 1964. They all had to learn as much as they could about their characters. After studying Clay, Matt Jones found himself drawn to the fighter's energy and his desire to prove himself.
JONES: He obviously had a pretty big chip on his shoulder. And for him, that came from a kind of a fractured home life, obviously what was going on at the time during the '50s and '60s, Jim Crowe down in the South. He's from Louisville, Kentucky, so there was a lot of hatred. And so this a guy who wanted to be this huge figure in the world.
MANN: Jim Brown, by contrast, seems to be strong in a quiet way says the actor who plays him, Kevin Daniels. He's played Magic Johnson on Broadway and Martin Luther King in Los Angeles. For this role, he watched plenty of footage of Brown on the field.
KEVIN DANIELS: But I also wanted, because of where the play is set, I wanted to see him off the field. I feel like when you're playing actual people, especially icons, the trap with that is you don't want to get caught into an impersonation. But there's certain things you want to suggest. Like, you know, he's so self-assured and he's just kind of within himself.
He's like this is how I was raised. This is what I believe and this is what I'm gonna do. I love you guys, but I can respect each of your individual opinions and still be strong in and of myself.
MANN: The civil rights movement was exploding in 1964 and each of the four characters expresses his individual perspective on empowerment.
SAM COOKE: (Singing) a long time coming, but I know a change gonna come.
MANN: Sam Cooke enjoyed economic power by owning the rights to his recordings, which was unknown, even for a white artist, at the time, explains actor Ty Jones, who plays the singer.
TY JONES: I think it goes back to a line that he says in the play where he's like, we can't all go out and declare the white man the devil when he's arguing with Malcolm. Because if Sam Cooke took that route, he probably wouldn't make any money.
MANN: Jones' character gets angry about remarks Malcolm X made after President Kennedy was assassinated.
JONES: (As Sam Cooke) In your mind, Kennedy dying was just another one of those white devils who got what he deserved. Well, you know what? I liked JFK a lot and my momma cried when he died. So how do you think it made me feel to have her see my friend on television talking about good riddance?
DELANE: (As Malcolm X) First of all, I didn't say good riddance.
JONES: (As Sam Cooke) You said it was a case of the chickens coming home to roost.
MANN: Playwright, Kemp Powers, says this is a story of how fame can both enhance and taint friendships, and he wants audiences to come away with another message.
POWERS: The idea that black people are not monolithic. We have a wealth of different ideas and different opinions and that we often disagree, sometimes vehemently disagree. But at the end of the day, you can have a huge disagreement with a person, and that doesn't stop you from being friends.
MANN: The day after the gathering the play depicts, Cassius Clay announced he was joining the Nation of Islam, eventually changing his name to Muhammad Ali. Within a year, both Sam Cooke and Malcolm X were killed under questionable circumstances and within a few years, Jim Brown retired from professional football, embarked on an acting career and began working with at-risk youth. For NPR News, I'm Iris Mann.
Now, Muhammad Ali's boxing career has been documented and dramatized in all kinds of ways, from video games to animated series.
MONTAGNE: A new project said to be in the works would bring one of his legendary fights to the big screen. Deadline Hollywood is reporting Ang Lee will be directing a movie on the world of boxing in the 1960s and '70s. It will recreate 1975's Thrilla in Manila, When Ali faced off against Joe Frasier in a 14-round epic.
GREENE: And we'll have to wait and see how Ang Lee handles this project. He's known for his adaptation of Jane Austen's "Sense and Sensibility" and also for the film about two gay cowboys, "Brokeback Mountain."
MONTAGNE: He recently won an Oscar for directing this, "Life of Pi."
MONTAGNE: In 3D, Ang Lee brought his audience onto a raft with a tiger.
GREENE: There we were. And one thing we know about this new boxing movie is audiences will be experiencing things in 3D ringside. And you are ringside at MORNING EDITION from NPR News. I'm David Greene.
MONTAGNE: And I'm Rene Montagne. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.


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We told you yesterday about a petition on the White House website signed by more than 70,000 people that seeks the secession of Texas from the union.
Well, the governor of the great state doesn't agree with those people.
The Dallas Morning News reports that Gov. Rick Perry's press secretary Catherine Frazier sent out a statement about the controversy. She said:
"Gov. Perry believes in the greatness of our Union and nothing should be done to change it. But he also shares the frustrations many Americans have with our federal government. Now more than ever our country needs strong leadership from states like Texas, that are making tough decisions to live within their means, keep taxes low and provide opportunities to job creators so their citizens can provide for their families and prosper. We cannot allow Washington's tax and spend, one-size-fits-all mindset to jeopardize our children's future, undermine our personal liberties and drive our nation down a dangerous path to greater dependence of government."
The petition to allow Texas to "peacefully" part ways from the United States was submitted through the White House's We the People function. It allows citizens to submit any question or petition and promises an official response after they get a certain number of signatures. In this case, the threshold was 25,000, which was easily met.
Copyright 2021 NPR. To see more, visit https://www.npr.org.


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So, I've never owned a rotary cutter and mat. But I'm deeply intrigued by them, and all the accessories that go along with them - the mats and gridded rulers and such. Rotary cutters look terribly efficient (and dare I say fun?) and like they would make such quick work of things like bias strips. Here's my dilemma, though: I wonder how useful they really are to the garment sewer beyond that.
Quilters love rotary cutters for obvious reasons - you can speedily cut your squares or whatever it is you call them. (Please excuse my ignorance, quilters.) But are they really useful if you're just sewing garments? I've only seen one clothing construction book refer to rotary cutters: Built By Wendy's Sew U, which suggests using a rotary cutter to cut out multiples of a pattern at the same time. Which, unless you're starting a little sweat shop or something, doesn't seem like it would be all that necessary for the home sewer, right?
Also, what about the mats? They're rather pricey, especially for the larger ones. And wouldn't you want a big-ish one for garment sewing so you wouldn't have to keep moving your mat around under your fabric?
Clue me in, please. Is there any reason for me to add these pieces of equipment to my already overstuffed sewing space?
What say you to the rotary cutter for garment sewing: yea or nay?


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Parshat Ekev
If Bnei Yisrael carefully observe even those "minor" mitzvot that are usually "trampled" underfoot, Moshe promises them that they will be the most blessed of the nations of earth. Moshe tells Bnei Yisrael that they will conquer Eretz Canaan little by little, so that the land will not be overrun by wild animals in the hiatus before Bnei Yisrael are able to organize and settle the whole land. After again warning Bnei Yisrael to burn all carved idols of Canaanite gods, Moshe stresses that the Torah is indivisible and not open to partial observance. Moshe describes the Land of Israel as a land of wheat, barley, grapes, figs, and pomegranates, a land of oil-yielding olives and date-honey. Moshe cautions Bnei Yisrael not to become haughty and think that their success in Eretz Yisrael is a result of their own powers or vigor; rather, it was Hashem who gave them wealth and success. Nor did Hashem drive out the Canaanites because of Bnei Yisrael's righteousness, but rather because of the sins of the Canaanites, for the road from Sinai had been a catalogue of large and small sins and rebellions against Hashem and Moshe. Moshe details the events after Hashem spoke the 10 Commandments at Sinai, culminating in his bringing down the second set of Tablets on Yom Kippur. Aharon's passing is recorded as is the elevation of the levi'im to Hashem's ministers. Moshe points out that the 70 souls who went down to Egypt have now become like the stars of the heaven in abundance. After specifying the great virtues of the Land of Israel, Moshe speaks the second paragraph of the Shema, conceptualizing the blessings that accompany keeping mitzvot and the curse that results from non-observance.
"Carve for yourself two stone Tablets like the first ones" (10:1)
Even thoughG-d told Moshe to make the second two Tablets like the first ones, there were fundamental differences between the two sets. In the first set, not only did G-d write upon the Tablets, He fashioned the Safire stone himself. Both the medium and the message were G-dly. The second tablets were hewn by the hand of Man, only the inscription was Divine.
However, there was a deeper difference between the two sets of Tablets.
When we think of the Tablets, we think of words engraved on stone words like any other words. However, in the case of the first Tablets this was not so. The first Tablets did not contain words, they contained speech. This doesnt mean the Tablets were like some kind of Biblical tape recorder. It means that when you saw the words, you saw in them G-d speaking at Sinai. Usually, when someone speaks, their words are present as long as they are still speaking them. When they stop speaking, the words vanish. The first Tablets perpetuated G-ds giving the Torah at Sinai, His speech at Sinai. That is what the Torah means when it says "all the people saw the voices" (Shmot 20:15)
The word davar "thing" in Hebrew has the same root as the word for "speech" dibbur. What is the connection between a thing and speech?
Nothing in this physical world can have an existence without it having a spiritual underpinning. What sustains every object in this physical world is G-d speaking through that object. That object is no more than G-d speaking; it is a dvar, an expression of something God wishes to reveal in His world. In the future, we will clearly see the intention behind every thing in Creation, the dibbur behind every davar. This is what the prophet Yishayahu means when he writes, "the Glory of G-d will be revealed and all flesh together will see that the Mouth of G-d has spoken" (40:5) Just as at Sinai G-ds speech assumed a concrete form, so too at that time in the future every concrete form will reveal its purpose, its dibbur.
Only the first Tablets contained the level of revelation where it was possible to see the dibbur as though it were an object. Usually a physical object does not reveal the intent of its maker. The first Tablets, however, revealed G-ds intent; they were a davar that revealed dibbur. However, after the sin of the golden calf the world was a different place. It could no longer contain the level of revelation epitomized by the first set of Tablets. That is why the Tablets grew suddenly heavy in Moshes hands and they fell to the ground. From that time until Mashiach, things will not reveal their true identity as being no more than the Word of G-d.


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Monday, January 31, 2011
Oh My Stars!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Fortunately, CNN has since assured the world that my not being a Taurus is total bull. Whew! However, just for fun, let's take a look at these "new" signs and how they might have changed our lives forever.
Capricorn: Jan. 20 – Feb. 16
Capricorns are known to be obedient and dedicated. If you ask a Capricorn to do something, you can be sure it is going to get done...
Aquarius: Feb. 16 – March 11
Aquarius is represented by water, which fits this sign's creative, "free flow" personality.
Pisces: March 11- April 18
Pisces is an emotional yet generous sign. These selfless individuals will give until it hurts.
Aries: April 18 - May 13
Much like their symbol the ram, Aries are fearless creatures. They forge boldly ahead, letting no man, beast...
Taurus: May 13- June 21
Taurus is a sign that never backs down. This stubborn bull will stand her ground through all of life's challenges.
Gemini: June 21 - July 20
Gemini is often of two minds, waiting to make a choice until the very last minute.
Cancer: July 20 - Aug. 10
Cancers are rooted in the past, home and hearth. You can trust a Cancer to feed you, mother you, clean you, feed you, love you...
Leo: Aug. 10- Sept. 16
Leos are very ambitious - shooting for the stars, taking on large projects, and sometimes getting in over their heads.
Virgo: Sept. 16 - Oct. 30
You can always count on the reliable Virgo to deliver steady, consistent results.
Libra: Oct. 30- Nov. 23
Libra has a clear sense of right and wrong, and is always a fair and impartial judge. However, Libra also craves communication and loves an opportunity to prove her intelligence.
Scorpio: Nov. 23- Nov. 29
Sharp-shooter Scorpio has no problem telling it like it is. Scorpio is honest, direct, and lays everything out in black and white.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17- Jan. 20
Nothing can slow down a carefree Sagittarius. Her spontaneity and drive keep things fun and interesting:
Wreckiuchus: Nov. 29- Dec. 17
Wreckiuchus likes to hide in plain sight, often going years before revealing himself to those closest to him.
Some skeptics say Wreckiuchus doesn't actually exist, but if you cross your eyes and stare really hard, we think you'll get the message.
The message being that you look pretty silly with your eyes crossed, of course.
Thanks to Kailee M., Sarah C., Maggie B., Jinglei, Aaron, Jordan F., Niloufer R., Anony M., Heather & Mikki, Katie O., Elizabeth, Stina, & Valerie M., who should all look before they leap, take advantage of sudden windfalls, and explore new opportunities today. And then maybe buy their favorite bloggers a snack. (We like Bugles.)
78 comments | Post a Comment
- Jules AF said...
hahahaha this was great. I'm glad I haven't changed from being a Scorpio. It describes me so much better than a Libra. ugh.
- January 31, 2011 at 9:45 AM
- Catstina said...
I almost commented that you had the dates wrong on the Zodiacs, then I went back and reread it... Very clever!
WV:Viract-Apparently sometimes I o-viract! - January 31, 2011 at 9:46 AM
- Susie said...
Also ... do you suppose that overstuffed baby was REALLY named Petter?
- January 31, 2011 at 9:57 AM
I'm that new wrecky sign, which is so appropriate. I can't decorate cakes to save my life, I have eye problems, and I am a rather private person.
I'm also clumsy, so I do wreck things by accident.
Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh! - January 31, 2011 at 10:06 AM
- Tara said...
When, oh when, is it appropriate to stick a doll head and arms on a cake???
- January 31, 2011 at 10:07 AM
I apparently have two signs. I now get to show off my intelligence to you as a Libra with the no-holds-barred black-and-white delivery of a Scorpio. This could be fun. Of course, if you combine this with my original sign of "I like sprinkles" Sagitarius, there could be much hilarity in site.
- January 31, 2011 at 10:07 AM
actually, Susie, *maybe*...the style of the date (both the lettering and the period between the dates) is a pretty big sign that this is a European cake...so yeah, the kid's name might just be Petter.
It also means that the kiddo in question was born on February 7, not July 2. - January 31, 2011 at 10:09 AM
- Loo-E Loo-I said...
Great post! LOL!
Yeah, everyone in my family is astrologically screwed up now. I don't know who I am anymore *sob*sob*
I was a Leo and now I'm on the cusp of Cancer. So, I guess now I'm very ambitious and shoot for the stars when I feed, mother, clean, feed, love, and feed my children. Then I get in over my head when I eat them.
That Virgo must have carved potatoes instead of pumpkins for Halloween.
wv: fronsts: Frosting fonts. - January 31, 2011 at 10:12 AM
Haha! I love them. My mom's birthday often falls on Mother's Day, so the 'Gemini' cake is actually rather appropriate for her. The Cancer baby cake is frightening, though. Yikes!
- January 31, 2011 at 10:20 AM
- SDLantos said...
This is one of my all-time favorite posts... GO PISCES!!! YAY!!!!
w/v: ampliy - I wouldn't want to ampliy that those cakes are wrecktastic, but they are! - January 31, 2011 at 10:20 AM
- Karen Valinda said...
So I was taken more by my first knowledge of the new dates- Thank you Cakewrecks for educating me!- than the wrecks, initially.
If you knew my Scorpio mom and were trying to imagine her as a Libra, you would understand.
I was worried about the date gap and THEN saw the new "sign" and had to laugh, my dad the cake decorator (Wiltons ala the 70's) lands smack in the middle. Very Nice. Now I want to make the cake pictured here for his next birthday - January 31, 2011 at 10:33 AM
Gosh, the Scorpio one is so right on. Thanks for a hearty laugh. I'm saving that photo to email to "friends" on their own blinday's.
I believe the last one was done by a new wreckerator who has had too much experience removing graffiti from walls at school during detention. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, go back and look at the sides of the cake. Squint if necessary.) - January 31, 2011 at 10:38 AM
the last cake might make you cross eyed but it says or almost says happy on the side.
- January 31, 2011 at 10:41 AM
I just thought of a slogan for the bakery that made the "Cancer" cake: "Everything's better with a big slice of Petter!"
Now, about the potential astrological shake-up. Let's all take a deeeeeeeep cleansing breath and balance our chakras -- or our checkbooks, or whatever... Chances are your sign didn't change -- some articles say it only applies if you're born in 2009 or after, others say it doesn't alter western astrology, others say the stars are a guideline, but solstices and other stuff really set the dates. (Thank you, Google.)
I think the new sign is an opportunity to pick and choose which horoscope you want to believe today. If your "old" sign suggests you're about to be hit with an asteroid/plague of locusts/amoebic dysentary and the "new" horoscope suggests an upcoming lotto win, I know which one I'd go with. As I stayed a Leo in both the old and the new system, I'm stuck looking for asteroids -- or Cake Wrecks falling from the sky, which could only improve these cakes. Yikes! - January 31, 2011 at 10:49 AM
I am a Taurus and I love being a Taurus and if they try to make me an Aries I'm just going to change my blimday. So there.
WV: Scend. I'll scend you a picture of my blimday cake! - January 31, 2011 at 11:13 AM
- zombiekim said...
Astrology is my cupcake-cake. *ptooie!* Except not, since cupcake-cakes are actual, real things...
Anyway, that Sphinx cake is TERRIFYING. Oh mah gawd. - January 31, 2011 at 11:13 AM
points to "Capricorn" for some really lovely lettering work. :)
- January 31, 2011 at 11:24 AM
I don't really follow horoscopes, but I have to confess that I'm not happy going from a Capricorn to a Sagittarius. I went from a sign that suits to one that doesn't!
That said... yup, love the Capricorn cake.
It's sad that I can look at the Aquarius cake and think "that's not so bad" because I've so much worse here!
I bet that Pisces cake made some kid VERY happy. And the parents saved on birthday gifts
Taurus: Nice lettering, but why is there a second border? And it's hard to tell if that's "blinday" or "blirday". Given the pinkish tones of the top of the cake, it looks like it's already been scraped and redone, so they could've redone it again
Cancer: I know there's concerns about childhood obesity, but that's getting ridiculous! (And isn't that Feb 7? So why is it in July? Nevermind)
Virgo: what is a "happy october" anyway? At least the cakes look nice even if they don't make sense
Libra: i think they judged the other cakes horrendous, and opted for this show of good taste (choc dipped strawberries!)
Scorpio: ROFLMAO! **LOVE** this one! I so have to use this on a friend for their next birthday!
Sagittarius: Sometimes, sprinkles are not a plus!
Wreckiuchus: It looks like the airbrush imitated a hose flinging itself around. It managed to write a word to express it's joy at being let free to romp madly - January 31, 2011 at 11:45 AM
- Alisha said...
Have you tried the new caramel Bugles? They will be my undoing. Mmmmm.
- January 31, 2011 at 12:13 PM
- Lady Bright said...
Petter? Peter? Eh?
lol - at Scorpio being only 6 days, so the "happy" new sign of Wreckiuchus could make its debut!! Kudos!!
I'm glad I'm still a Pisces no matter what the wackos say. That said, I'll give something... Send me your address, I'll send Bugles. Once I get them off my fingers. They make lovely nails.
I rather like the happy birthday with all the sprinkles. My husband would be overthemoon to get such a cake. I'll have to remember that next January. Tahnk you for inspiration!
~~Di - January 31, 2011 at 12:43 PM
My astrologer assures me that this sign-changing nonsense is just an astronomer trying to make himself important. That having been said, the descriptions of the signs were very accurate. Nice to know you folks have a good solid knowledge of the subject matter! Alkmic, y'all!
- January 31, 2011 at 1:08 PM
"And then maybe eat you"
I'm STILL a flotsam covered Pisces. - January 31, 2011 at 1:10 PM
- Layne said...
Hee hee, "blinday" reminded me of the recent 30 Rock episode where Ken, Jenna and Kelsey Grammer were scamming the ice cream store!
- January 31, 2011 at 1:34 PM
I've barely come to terms with being labeled a Libra, there's no way I'm going to accept being a Virgo. There just has to be a better horoscope system, perhaps a dessert based one. Being born in late September, I would most likely be a slice of warmed-up apple pie, though sometimes I'd envy October and their pumpkin roll with cream cheese filling.
- January 31, 2011 at 1:38 PM
I too am a Taurus and always will be. I am not an Aries. I'm a bull by golly!
- January 31, 2011 at 1:56 PM
I love the ellipsis on the "Grooms Cake". So unnecessary and weird.
The corpulent baby is also pretty spectacular.
--kate - January 31, 2011 at 2:03 PM
I see Snow White isn't just lolling about eating bon bons now that she is married to Prince Charming. She went out and got a job as a traffic cop.
- January 31, 2011 at 2:10 PM
The roses on the birthday/mother's day cake are perfect!
My BF thinks fat babies are adorable, but changed his mind when I showed him the baby cake. - January 31, 2011 at 2:13 PM
Even though the periwinkle boarder did not stop them... at least the Wreckerator spelled "Congratulations" correctly. That's an accomplishment.
As for Octuber... I feel almost like I need to pull out the crock pot and make stew. Or go start a round of chemo. Not quite sure yet.
WV: hylog What wreckerators imbibe before attacking random cakes with an airbrush. - January 31, 2011 at 2:13 PM
- hollyml said...
"Octuber" isn't misspelled. Those cakes were obviously presented in celebration of the birthday of a potato with eight arms.
- January 31, 2011 at 2:28 PM
- Kelly aka STITCHNMOMMA said...
Love the Gemini cake and I think my Mom would appreciate it. Her birthday is close to Mother's Day, so we've been known to do a combined celebration...lol!
- January 31, 2011 at 2:52 PM
Babycake... you got the creepiest little babycake...
- January 31, 2011 at 3:16 PM
- Yaya said...
Hahahha. That baby cake reminded me of the movie Seven with Brad Pitt.
"What's in the baaaaaaax????" an overstuffed baby cake! oh god whhhhhyyyyyyy????? - January 31, 2011 at 3:18 PM
Petter's not fat! He just needs his diaper changed, really, really badly!
- January 31, 2011 at 3:24 PM
Oh, well, poo. I like being a Scorpio, sharp and direct. With 'the change' to Libra, I'm now Judge Judy. ('cept without the robes and the TV show)
- January 31, 2011 at 3:34 PM
- Kerry said...
The baby cake looks like Mr. Creosote's love child!
Waffer thin mint?! - January 31, 2011 at 3:43 PM
Speaking as a former Libra and newly minted Virgo (ugh) I kan spel much betre than that.
- January 31, 2011 at 3:58 PM
- Craig said...
Capricorn: This one has it all: attractive cake, passable icing penmanship, "extraneous quotes" AND it's literal! What's not to like?
Aquarius: $28.95? I think Aerosmith said it best when they sang, "Dream on, dream on..."
Pisces: How is Snow White supposed to ride that bike in a long skirt? The dwarves can get a lot more mining done with their new truck, though. It's always nice to see classic stories updated.
Aries: I'm pretty sure 'congratulations' (oh, the irony of correct spelling under such circumstances) is written in marker on the cover. This might win the labor-saving award for 2011.
Taurus: Blinday, already? Where does the time go -- I haven't made out cards or anything. Maybe it's supposed to be Blingday, and the recipient was about to score some major ice.
Gemini: I think the conjunction of 'birthday' and 'Mother's (or Father's) day' has to be the holiday ripoff to top them all. I would vote to move the birthday celebration so that each gets its due.
Cancer: (If ever there was a sign that needed a different name...) "We join this delivery, already in progress. The baby is pre-dressed to protect sensitive viewers."
Yes, 'Petter' is a name. No, I don't know why or what it means, I just know that I have heard of people being called that. Perhaps this child is destined to become a veterinarian. Or a breeder. Before that, very 'popular' in school.
Leo: Ya learn something new every day -- so Tut wore specs! Or else he was an early incarnation of Harry Potter...
Virgo: If my birthday was in Octuber, I know either of these cakes would make me feel downright special. "If we're all special, that's the same as saying no one is." -- Dash
Libra: Yes, clearly labeling things is important. Why do I think this reception featured assigned seating and name tags.
Scorpio: If Scorpios had Libra's clarity of communication, this cake would read, "Don't invite me to another party of yours ever again."
Saggitarius: The theme of this cake is, "Some joker loosened the top on the sprinkles container. Hardy har har har."
Wreckiuchus: Pronounced: 'Wrecky-yuck-us.' Wreckerators born under this sign are really into subliminal messages. They also get really happy when they get a new toy, er, tool, such as an airbrush. Also inordinately fond of the color pink. - January 31, 2011 at 4:13 PM
- SoupAddict said...
On the first cake, it looks like they attempted to fix - or do something to - the printing on the word "Write."
"Does dat belong der?" "Dunno. Lemme see what da cake looks like wi'doudit." "Nah, put it back." - January 31, 2011 at 4:15 PM
- Chocolatier said...
My mom's a Cancer...I'm kind of scared now.
- January 31, 2011 at 4:18 PM
- Fysh Phoenix-- said...
Bravo! A theme carried-through to its logical conclusion.
...just happy, in pink? Well, not LITERALLY happy in pink...
The word verification is "clingla"; that's funny because I am tired. - January 31, 2011 at 4:19 PM
- Jenny said...
Interesting astrology related cakes.
- January 31, 2011 at 4:48 PM
- Catstina said...
My goodness people, read the article linked in this post. Your signs did not change if you follow the Western Zodiac, which most (if not all) of you do. You are still what you thought you are.
- January 31, 2011 at 4:56 PM
The Octuber cake, maybe someone celebrating a possible world record? http://www.worldamazingrecords.com/2010/09/world-biggest-potato-set-world-records.html
wv: yessoid = otherwise known as an unfilterd, unprotected, unsecure computer system - January 31, 2011 at 5:05 PM
- WashingtonPharmGirl said...
I am glad to be a gemini. I just eat two cakes. One for me and one for my twin out there somewhere. Yum!
- January 31, 2011 at 5:49 PM
I am a Libra by the standard system, and a Virgo by the Wrecky system. Either way, all of these cakes are HILARIOUS.
wv: bevers. These cakes look like they were decorated by bevers. - January 31, 2011 at 6:32 PM
I'm just like my Dad, a typical Virgo. Virginal or vaginal! 100 million people a day, perfectionist? actor, clown and all round Hard! Working! BUSY BODY! LOL! Oh yeah, and in the chinese year I am a RAT!
Can I please have a complementary copy of little cake wrecks! mailed to me in the post! With no pages stuck together! LOL! - January 31, 2011 at 6:51 PM
I can't be the only one disappointed that the Scorpio cake didn't have 8 o's
- January 31, 2011 at 7:01 PM
Tomorrow's my Blinday! I want a cake with princesses and dinosaurs, but I'm afraid all I'm going to get is "You are sooooooooooo old."
Sigh... - January 31, 2011 at 7:06 PM
As a Sagittarius, I totally agree with the sprinkle cake! Mounds of sprinkles make me go squee inside! Even if I fear my teeth hurting from all the sugar after actually eating a overly-sprinkleful cake
- January 31, 2011 at 7:19 PM
Hey Jen and John!
I live in England with my husband and was just channel surfing a few minutes ago when I caught some talk show with Kate Hudson (whom I love!) laughing over something. I paused briefly to see what it was, and Lo and Behold they were talking about the cake wrecks book! They showed at least 5 or 6 cake pictures including the classic Carrot Jockeys. Maybe you knew, but in case you didn't it's called the Graham Norton show, and all three guests, as well as the host himself were raving about it! At the end, Kate even asked if she could keep it! =)
I was so excited that they liked it, and it's not even my book, lol! Just thought i'd let you know!
Hope you're having a great night.
Kind Regards,
Kirstie - January 31, 2011 at 7:24 PM
This relates to yesterday's Sunday sweets, Cute Cthhulu cake. Reminded me of this youtube video
If that doesnt link, just search for "Lil' Cthulu" - January 31, 2011 at 7:39 PM
- Melissa said...
"And then maybe eat you"
HA!! Loved it :D - January 31, 2011 at 7:41 PM
*gag* no Bugles! Pirates Booty is the way to go. Or Pop chips Barbecue flavor.
The sprinkle cake was flippin awesome. - January 31, 2011 at 7:55 PM
Best entry yet. Oh my gosh, that made me laugh SO hard.
- January 31, 2011 at 8:48 PM
- Craig said...
@Kerry -- LOL! I was going to go for something like "Dune: The Early Years," but wasn't sure I had the right story; I was thinking of that movie where humans have 'evolved' into something resembling giant worms that float just above the ground (yes, there really is such a story; it wasn't a dream). Anyway, I should have been thinking 'Python' instead. That kid definitely needs a bucket.
By the way, Bugles rule. But not when jammed into the top of a cupcake. - January 31, 2011 at 8:50 PM
- Donna said...
My August 24th birthday will always be Virgo...King Tut's head be damned!
- January 31, 2011 at 9:04 PM
Emailed the Scorpio cake to a friend who is celebrating her 52nd birthday today. She email back "LOL". Of course, she was out of town today and couldn't slash my tires.
- January 31, 2011 at 9:51 PM
- Sarah said...
Okay, I know I'm being annoying, but you know a "gamut" is something that you run, not somthing that runs, right?
However, the mix up lead to this sill phrase running around in my head. "In Solviet Russia, gamut runs you."
You have to do it in your worst Russian accent, it's better that way. - January 31, 2011 at 11:25 PM
"When it's over she'll know if she can write "happy" or not."
yes, peed on myself laughing. thanks ever so much.
-Barbara Anne - February 1, 2011 at 12:01 AM
Hmm so if I just toss a gazillion sprinkles on a cake it will turn out beautiful? Lol love the Taurus horoscope. Fitting since I am one. And yup I would just dare anyone to try and say I made the cake wrong. Hilarious cakes today.
- February 1, 2011 at 12:24 AM
- Carrietastic said...
Wowee wow. My guess is this was a hard entry to put together, but SO worth it. Thanks for the yuks, as always!
- February 1, 2011 at 12:55 AM
- Unknown said...
Firstly, I LOVE your blog and also LOVE all your charity work and initiatives that you do.
I had such a fun time laughing at this post, was really great, Thank You!! - February 1, 2011 at 2:43 AM
Awesome! I'm a wreckiuchus! (wreck for short?)
- February 1, 2011 at 6:03 AM
Good god these cakes-the mind boggles O_o, as for the astrology signs-they are crap, and they always have been
- February 1, 2011 at 7:00 AM
Didn't like it the Aquarius one D:
first of all it's a air sign, not a water sing..
All the others are gr8, though!
(sorry about the crappy english, brazilian girl here) - February 1, 2011 at 7:47 AM
Maybe the "Octuber" cake was for the 8-potato version of the Octomom?
- February 1, 2011 at 8:27 AM
Hilarious post, thanks a lot!
Since I'm Norwegian, I thought, I'd comment on the cancer cake. (Now, there's two words I never expected to see together!) Petter is a Norwegian name, it's got the same root as Peter (as some commenters cleverly observed), the greek name Petros.
The baby is probably not born on 7th feb., though, as Norwegians (silly people!) don't normally celebrate birth with cake. The date on the cake is more likely to be his baptism day. - February 1, 2011 at 8:59 AM
#1: I don't know if the wreckerator is Kailee, or the birthday recipient. Was the order form Write "Happy Birthday" Kailee!! Or write "Happy Birthday Kailee"!! since there are no quotes on the cake, I'm assuming that's where all the trouble started...come to think of it, maybe that's why there's quotes on cakes in the first place. someone put the instructions in quotes and wreckerators transcribe exactly what they see, misspellings, bad handwriting and all perhaps.
*squints* wait, there ARE quotes on the cake! smooshed in with all the lovely handwriting. I think Kailee is the wreckerator and the double quotes exclamation points were from her angry boss.
#2: the bakery trainee discovers the airbrush gun. slap an Ariel or Nemo figurine on there and voila!
#3: what did they do, clean out the toybox? How do Lightning McQueen, Spiderman, the Hulk, trucks, motorocyles and Snow White with dwarfs et al. belong on the same cake??
#4: classic. curling ribbon, a crooked border, a misaligned Congratulations crawling over the border. at least it's spelled right.
#5: is this foreshadowing of the vajazzled vajajay in the 2/1/11 post? Happy "Blingday" perhaps? are they having a Tajazzle party?
#6: Birthday, Mother's Day, eh. An argument can be made that someone's birthday is the day that made their mother a mother (officially). but why isn't it "happy"?
#7: OMG call DYFS! someone is overfeeding that kid! it's grown to monstrous proportions! (and why am I know thinking of "Fat Bastard?")
#8: looks like something from my first grader's art project during the Egypt segment.
#9: aha! this bakery must be near an office zone for two Octuber birthday cakes to be ordered. Unless...it's the same office, two years in a row, with the same clueless wreckerator who never learned to spell. or look at a calendar. how. sad. I like the swirls.
#10: Captain Obvious strikes again! or maybe it's Not-So-Obvious that's a groom's cake. I mean, where's the fish? the decapitated deer head? the car? a Groom's Cake for the groom with no hobbies. or a bridezilla's new spouse who doesn't want to give him anything "tacky" for her big day
#11 mesmerizes me with those swirls. it's like an insulting crystal ball or something.
#12: I wonder how that's spelled. can't tell under the sprinkles.
#13: is that the zodiac for the 13th constellation rejected by the Babylonians? The irony as the wreckerator attacks the cake with an airbrush gun spelling "happy" - February 1, 2011 at 11:24 AM
- Selky said...
As an astrologist I thought I'd comment. I was surprised that no one pointed this out yet, but Aquarius isn't represented by water. Aquarius is an air sign. The symbol is called "The water bearer" but its represented by air.
Also, the astrology change thing is nonsense. I actually feel super sorry for the poor astronomer because his words were taken out of context. What he was trying to explain was that it used to be when you looked up in the sky during the time of Libra you would see the libra constalation. Because of the change of the earths movement away from the constelations this means that now you won't see libra when you look up. What he meant was that astrologers always say things like "This is the time of the Sagitarius, during this time of year you see the archer in the sky" etc. which is now incorrect. Japanese astrologists have always adjusted their charts to this movement, however all other astrologist don't because of the placement of the other planets when you were born.
Kinda confusing, but anyways....
Great post! - February 1, 2011 at 12:00 PM
i think your dates are wrong. my burthday is at the end of march and im an aries
- February 1, 2011 at 4:37 PM
- ViolaNut said...
Meh. I'm still a Pisces, no matter what rubbish they come up with. ;-) Sun, moon, AND rising sign, no less (I was born during a total solar eclipse). I wouldn't wreck a cake that badly though (I do actually have enough self-awareness to understand that I have no decorating ability whatsoever. ;-) ).
- February 1, 2011 at 9:30 PM
- Unknown said...
this was AWESOME!!! And as far as I am concerned, I am far too Aquarian to change now... combine that with my Chinese Animal the dragon, and well, you have a recipe for a potential wreckorator...
- February 1, 2011 at 11:44 PM
- The Social Mediatrix said...
I'm a Sagittarius and I WANT SPRINKLES!
I also manage to be that new sign that no-one's heard of. Yay for awesome birth-dates. - February 2, 2011 at 9:11 AM
- Doris Sudduth said...
Thanks, guys! I needed a good laugh and was browsing what I've missed.
... :D - February 2, 2011 at 3:55 PM
I think you really nailed the Scorpio personality. I am flattered.
-Olivia - February 7, 2011 at 10:23 PM
I would so buy the Scorpio cake. Hilarious!
- February 17, 2011 at 2:25 PM
I am also sad that the Scorpio cake has 10 o's instead of 8. That would've eaaaaaaaasily made it one of the most amazing wrecks!
So worry not, other anon, for you are not alone in your disappointment. - March 16, 2011 at 7:33 AM
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A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
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Paso Robles hotels with indoor pools
Add fun to your Paso Robles vacation
Booking your trip to Paso Robles in advance with Travelocity is a great idea—you'll get the best deals available and you'll have your pick of the most in-demand hotels. The only thing you can't control is the weather. That's why choosing a hotel in Paso Robles with an indoor pool is such a savvy-traveler decision. No matter the temperature outside or what's happening in the sky, you'll have built-in recreation always available to entertain the kids or relax after a long day.
Make a splash at an indoor pool hotel in Paso Robles
The quickest way to get into a vacation state of mind is a dip in the pool. Paso Robles has plenty of sights to see, local flavors to sample, and attractions to explore, but you won't feel really relaxed and rejuvenated until you put down your bags and put on a swimsuit. The hotel pool is perfect for a meditative evening of floating, a vigorous workout of lap-swimming while trying to beat your best time, or a cool morning pick-me-up before coffee and breakfast. Save money on a couples' spa treatment by bringing your sweetheart down for a dip, or break out the floaties and get the whole family in the water. No need to worry about the weather when you've booked a Paso Robles hotel with an indoor pool.
It's never too soon to find an amazing travel deal with Travelocity. Get ahead of the curve and check out hotels in Paso Robles with indoor pools today. On your next vacation, it will always be a good time for a swim.
Paso Robles hotels essential information
Accommodation | 523 hotels |
Lowest Price | $144 |
Highest Price < |