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Often times, it is easier to express feelings in writing than to voice our thoughts aloud. This month, our "Foster Friday" panel joined me in writing letters to people we have (or will) encounter along our foster care journeys.
Cherub Mamma) -
Dear Dolly,
Right now you are a beautiful, trusting, loving five-year-old. Someday though, you will be a beautiful, angry, frustrated teenager. I am positive that there will be a day in which you will scream at me that you never wanted to be adopted. You will swear that you never wanted to be a part of our family.
This is hard stuff. I know that. And our decision to intervene in your CPS case was not made lightly. We waited for the state of Texas to do right by you. But time after time it seemed less likely that their plan was best. After a lot of prayer Dolly, we decided it was necessary for your long-term emotional health and physical safety to step in legally.
I'm sorry your first mom did not keep you safe. That's the biggest issue of all, Dolly. Every child longs to be with its mother. Unfortunately, your first mom did not do anything she needed to do to bring you back to her. The option of that reunification never really existed. Your first dad walked away from you too. I am so sorry. I will never be able to fully comprehend the abandonment you must feel. The people that came together to make you, due to the pull of a destructive lifestyle, were unable to stay in your life as your parents. I will never claim to understand how that makes you feel. But I do empathize with how difficult it must be.
I saw you grow in amazing ways after joining our family. I will never claim that our family is "better". Well, at least I'll try not too. But Dolly, from everything I could tell, our family was safer. We offer you permanency in a family setting surrounded by people that want you. I believe our desires to care for you through all of this are stronger than those of your biological family.
I hope that your grandma and other family members will choose to stay in contact with you after adoption. I hope you will know your entire life that it was never our goal to steal you away from your family. As long as they are sober and safe, I want more than anything for you to stay connected.
Right now though, everything is quite confusing. Foster care doesn't make sense most of the time to me. I'm sure it's a total mess to you! All I've ever wanted for you Dolly was for you to be safe and loved and cared for by family that genuinely wants you.
You deserve permanency, Dolly. And that's what we are fighting for now.
I don't know where this adventure is going to take us. I pray our intervention is successful. I pray that we are able to celebrate your adoption soon. I don't know what it's going to be like when you're a teenager though. I don't know what the future holds. Just know I'm with you through it all, Dolly. So even if you scream at me twelve years from now that you hate me and you wish you had never been adopted, I'll still keep on loving you.
I love you! I've loved you since I met you. And I'll never stop loving you.
~ Mommy
Karen C. (Our Foster Journey) -
To my extended family,
Without your permission Ron and I signed up to be foster parents. We have taken you along for the craziest 4 year journey that you could ever imagine being on. We have taken in 23 placements in such a short amount of time.
You have stood by us, supporting us, loving us. You pick up these babies and hold and love them with no questions asked. You have submitted all your personal information so you can babysit for us. You didn't willingly sign up for any of this, yet here you are, along for the ride.
You have helped us throw birthday parties together last minute knowing in a couple days those kids will leave us and we will never see them again. Yet, your generosity sent them away with 5 times as much stuff as what they came with. You are truly a blessing in our life.
You have mourned the loss of our first foster placement (and many more after). This little guy had crawled up into all of our hearts and we all ached when he left. You suffered loss right along with us. Yet, you continually stand by us faithfully as we continue this journey. THEN, 3 years later you are celebrating BIG with us when that little guy all of a sudden gets placed back in our home. Counting our blessings and God's great miracle when we finalize his adoption 4 short months later!
Of course this journey is still not over. There is a little girl who has been a part of our lives for over 2 1/2 years. We have watched her grow from a 4 pound preemie to towering over her siblings who are older than her. She calls you aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa. She's the best snuggle bug and gives the best kisses. Every single one of you know the love of this child. Yet, here you sit holding your breath right along with us not knowing if she will ultimately be ripped out of hearts and family forever. You are once again standing by us faithfully. Giving us the encouragement and support we need. Even more, you weren't surprised when right in the midst of this crazy case we find out there is another baby on the way. Never for a second did you question us when we said of course we would take baby too if we get the opportunity.
Thank you family for standing by us, loving us, and ultimately loving 23 children! We could not have survived this journey called Foster Care without you. The ride is not over yet so keep your seatbelts fastened!
Ron & Karen
Amanda S. (Fostering Hope & Love) -
Dear pre-foster parent me,
Honey, you think you know what you're getting into, but you have no idea. And that's okay. Turns out, you could have spent a year in training and still not been prepared for this journey. You'll see and hear things that are more confusing and screwed up than you ever expected – and that's just from the agency and court system! Right now, sitting in PRIDE classes, they seem like they know what they're doing. It's all an act. They have NO CLUE, and they're going to pass that confusion and frustration right on down to you and your kiddos. You're going to learn to advocate for yourself and your kids like never before just to survive the system.
The kids' bio-families are not what you expect, either. Turns out, you're going to like most of them (you'll be lucky and have pretty good bio-families, though). You're going to want to get to know them and build relationships, and not just out of obligation. And that's going to make it harder on you when you see that they are in no way competent to raise children. It's painful to hope that people you like don't get their children back. You're going to figure out the best thing you can do is support them the best you can and help them feel confident that their children are in good hands. That's really all you can do for them.
Then there's the kids. Having not been a parent prior to this journey, you won't be expecting to fall as totally, head-over-heels in love with them as you are going to. You don't know how you'll be torn between protecting your heart against the inevitable goodbyes and giving into to that love. Really, though, there's no choice. You'll love them fiercely because that's what they need. And that's what is best for you, too, even when it hurts.
Finally, there's one aspect to foster care you never, ever expected. The support system. Since you and hubby don't live near any family, you basically expect to be doing this alone. You will be amazed at the friends, both in real life and online who show up to help out. Sometimes they'll provide physical help. Sometimes it will be mental and emotional. DO NOT BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR SUPPORT! Foster care is not natural and everyone needs help coping with it. You're never afraid to support hubby, or to walk through fire to get the kids the help they need. You're just as important, and you deserve support just as much.
That's it! Back when I was in your position, I'm not sure I'd have believed half the stuff we're going to experience. So consider this letter a heads up. And here's my advice: be kind. Be kind to yourself, hubby, your bio-families. You can't go wrong if you default to kindness, even if it sometimes takes the form of pushing back or standing strong against the system (that's when you're being kind to yourself and your family). You can do this, and it will be the hardest and most rewarding thing you've ever done.
Yourself in 3 years
Andrea (Life with Laughter) -
Dear T,
You gave birth. In no way does this make you a mother. How dare you call yourself her mother! You have a lot of nerve to harass her aunt. The only one who tried to keep her. The one you left her with. I cannot get over your gall. You chose to walk out on her. You literally packed your bags and walked out the door, the day you turned 18. I just received a chest of her baby items. In there was a picture of a beautiful smiling child. The frame said "Happy Mother's Day" You left that sitting on the dresser when you left. You took a precious child that should have had a full and healthy life, and you destroyed it. You left a massive mess for everyone else to clean up. However, we don't consider her a mess or a chore. Your lawyer said you considered her "an inconvenience" we certainly do not. We are sad of course, for how she has to suffer and the things she won't be able to do. To us, she is an angel, a miracle, and a survivor. She's had to be a fighter to survive her life with you. You didn't even care for her while she was growing inside of you. The safest place for a baby is the womb, you made your womb a dangerous place that she escaped from at only 28 weeks. Even then you couldn't care for her, giving birth in the toilet and allowing her to stay in there, you didn't even know to lift her out of the water.
We have fought long and hard to get her the services and help that you denied her. Trying to fix the damage you did. My anger boils over at you today. The child you gave birth to is suffering! She is laying in a hospital bed, she's hooked to an IV, morphine, and a feeding tube. The feeding tube is needed because you broke her insides. She cannot eat. She cannot drink. Her lips are chapped. Her throat is dry. And it is all your fault. She is now having to get her nutrition through a tube into her intestines. She cannot enjoy food. She just had her third birthday, she was able to enjoy her cupcake. That was her last treat for the foreseeable future. And it is all your fault. All you had to do was say "I have this infection, protect my child." That's all you had to say. You didn't. You damage your child. Your precious daughter. She just had medicine by mouth, she sucked on that syringe like a person finding water in the desert. And you made this happen. You made her suffer like this. You dare suggest her Aunt is at fault. You find blame everywhere except right where is belongs, with you.
This sweet amazing child will be having more doctors appointments, blood draws, X-rays, MRIs, EEKs, EEGs, and pain than most adults will in their entire lives. She has lived on this earth on 36 months. Our goals for her are the simplest of things, to drink from a cup, to look when her name is called, to track an object across her field of vision, and to wash her hands with help. The goals of a 6 month old.
But that's okay. We will clean up what you left, what you broke. We will be rewarded with her smiles and her giggles. We will rock her and snuggle with her. We will smile when she runs to us. And we will weep with joy if we ever hear a word come from her mouth. You can continue living your life. I just beg of you that you don't drag your other children with you. Your twins are already suffering the same affects as her. The new baby growing in your womb, already 20 weeks along, please, I beg you, go to a doctor and take care of him or her. Stop this. Stop leaving these hurt children all around you. Can you be a good mother? I don't know, so far the answer is no, you seem to crave babies, and leave them when they become children. Just leave them with someone who will care for them. Just walk away, it's what you're good at. Leave before you hurt them even more.
People ask me "Aren't you happy you have a girl, finally?" Of course I am. However, I'd rather her be happy and running around with her family, laughing and being three, than laying strapped to a hospital bed with me. I love her with all my heart, but I would trade having a daughter to have her healthy. But she's not. I will love her anyway. I will do everything within my power and rely of God's gracious love to give her the best life possible. And she will thrive, without you.
Dani -
Dear Bug,
You were the first placement we had. We knew we were going to get you even before we were licensed as foster parents. I started calling you Bug because I didn't know your name and didn't want to keep calling you Baby Boy.
We have been blessed to be your parents for over a year now. You have learned so many new things in that year, but I think we have learned even more.
You taught us patience. You were the fussiest baby ever. You did nothing but scream and cry every second you were awake for almost five and a half months. You taught us that no matter what we were feeling, you needed our calm presence. You needed us to be in control to help teach you to be in control.
You taught us understanding. Through you, we learned to really like your bio mom. She has a lot of problems, but most of them weren't her fault. She never had a mother of her own to teach her how to do things. She never learned HOW to be a mom because she didn't have one. Hopefully we've taught her a few things that will make her life easier.
You taught us love. We weren't sure if we could love a baby that we would one day have to say goodbye to. We didn't know if our hearts would always be on guard, and leave just a little bit of love held back. You taught us that we can love deeply and fiercely, even if that means we will be hurt beyond measure if you have to leave us.
You taught us that we could survive on very little sleep. Sleep is a big deal to us, but you taught us that we do OK for months on end with very little.
You taught us the value of friends. We couldn't have made it through those first few months without those friends who would hold you for an hour or so giving us a little break, or those friends who gave us encouragement that we could do it.
You taught us joy. We were so happy the day you first smiled, the day you first coo'd, the day you gave us your first laugh. We rejoiced over every little thing you did. You had to work harder to do almost everything, but that only made it more special when you did them.
I could go on and on, my son, but I think you will get the idea.
You are so loved by us. We don't know if you will stay or go, but I want you to know that we will love you until we breathe our last breath. You are my heart and soul. You are mine, little Bug, now and forever.
Dena (MomAt40.com) -
Dear Former Party Girl,
You used to think you had it made. Sleeping in when you wanted, hanging out with your friends every Friday and Saturday night, going on cruises at the drop of a hat, and so much more. So, who would have thought that a year and a half later you would be enjoying staying at home all the time with a 1 ½ year old and your fun time is going to the park or the mall.
Remember, stumbling in at 1 am on more than one occasion from a little too much partying? Now, you're stumbling half asleep into the baby room at 1am for a quick diaper change and snuggle. No more happy hour as your meals are now either eaten in a hurry or after baby girl goes to sleep. Your long dangling jewelry has now been replaced with teething necklaces or eliminated completely.
With all of that being said, you are the happiest that I've ever seen you. You wake every day with a smile and go to bed every night thinking happy thoughts of laughing, giggling and dancing with your baby girl. I know you have recently been faced with some challenges regarding foster care and the possibility of losing her, but just remember how happy you are and how happy that little girl is.
Hopeful Forever Mommy
Karen A. (www.nuggetsfromthenuthouse.blogspot.com) -
To my future self,
Right now you're a foster sister and social work student with no clue as to what the future holds. In fifteen years, maybe you'll be working as a social worker for a child welfare agency, maybe you'll be a foster mom, maybe you'll be married and have biological children. The person you are in the future is being shaped so much by this fostering journey. I hope that you will remember some things, and I hope that you will change some things.
As a child welfare professional, I pray that you will remember what it's like to be in this place that you are today, as this letter is being written. Remember what it's like to be the foster family. Remember how it feels to have no control but to pour your complete being into loving these children. Remember how much you long to feel respected, important, and be acknowledged for the role you play in these children's lives. I pray that you will treat the foster families the way you wish you could be treated now. I pray that you remember to take off your professional hat sometimes and just see the injustice- in other words, may you not become apathetic. Talk to the foster family, keep them in the loop. And remember that they know a lot more about the child than you do- they are a great resource. I hope that the experiences you have had today with birth families will remind you that you too could have had a series of bad turns in your life, or been born into an intergenerational cycle of disaster. Be humble, be thankful, and be kind.
As a foster parent, may you be organized, love whole-heartedly, and use your "strong voice".
If it be the Lord's will, then as a wife, I hope that the experiences of today will help make you so much more grateful for your husband. Through fostering, you've seen men stand up and take more responsibility than they ever needed to. And you've also seen men who haven't come close enough to know that they have responsibilities to step up to. You've also seen both of these sides in women. I hope that you can find a husband who will be the first kind, and that you will strive to be that person also. Through fostering, you've had a crash course in grace, forgiveness, encouragement, and loving when it's hard to. I'm sure these will be lessons you will be reminded of in the years to come, and I hope that you will be thankful for the opportunities God gave you now to learn these.
As a mother, I just hope that you will remember that no matter how a child comes to you- through the local foster care agency, off an airplane, or from your own womb, remember that these children are never "yours". They are God's children, and tomorrow is never a guarantee, whether they have your last name or not. Fostering has taught you that every day is a gift. I also hope that you will remember how much it has shaped you to see your own parents say "yes" even when many would say "no". It has been a wonderful opportunity for your faith to grow, and when you say "yes" it will also be a chance for your children's faith to grow.
As a person, I hope that you will be loving, forgiving, willing to take risks, open to new situations, and organized.
Finally, if you're reading this in the future, it means you made it through many times where it felt like the end of the world because of all the "crises" that kept arising. Remember to keep the big picture in mind, and that in the end...it will be okay.
Yolanda (The Path Chosen for Me) -
Dear Mom
I tried to call you yesterday, there was no answer. I wanted to tell you that I'm ok. I miss my Squeaks everyday but the days do get easier. I wanted to tell you that I am going to do it again. I am officially a mom in waiting again. I know you worry about me. Worry about my heart ache when I have to give them up. I always tell you don't worry so much. And you would say. It's a mother's job to worry about her children. I get it now. I get that when you are a mom, worry is not something you can control. I worried about my babies' everyday they are not with me. I worry if they are safe, loved, if they are happy. I worry that if something happened and I wasn't there who would comfort them. I even worry about them now, even though they have gone to live their lives with others. A mother's love doesn't stop.
I wanted to tell you that I am going to do it. Because not doing it again is not an option. Not being a mom is something that I cannot even imagine. I know being a single mom is going to be hard, there will be days that I just want to quit and give up. Then I will look at you. You are a single mom you raised 3 children as single mom, and at times made it look easy. I didn't feel any less loved than my friends or family who had 2 parents. I know my kids will be loved and we will be fine. I don't plan to always be a single mom. I do hope to find a man who will love me and my child. But if that doesn't happen it will be ok.
I wanted to tell you I can't wait to make you a grandma again. You already have 5 grandkids, and many others that you claim as your grandkids. But I want to make you a grandma. I can't wait to call you and tell you that I have signed the paperwork, that we are now a family forever. It is coming. I know it. I have faith. God knows my heart. He is the one that put the love in my heart. Gods plan never fails.
I tried to call you yesterday and there was no ringing, no answer, only a voice on the other end that I didn't know, a voice saying your number was disconnected. Then it hit me. You are not there, you are not here, you are no longer in this life. Everything that I want to tell you, everything I need to say, I can't. My heart is shattered. I still can't believe you are gone. With one phone call I have lost my mom, my children's grandma, my friend. I am an orphan in this world. Who will worry about me now? Who will tell me that they are proud of me and encourage me when I am down? Who will just listen to me just talk?
It has been one month since you took his hand when God called you home. I know you are at peace, I know you are no longer in pain. I know that you are enjoying the comfort embrace of your parents. But I miss you. I miss your voice; I miss our Saturday morning calls. I miss you. I will be ok, I promise. You have left a legacy of love, and strength. Your work is done. Now you will have a front row seat when I sign the paperwork. You are now my angel. You can spread your wings and fly and be my protector in the sky.
You are forever in my heart, I love you Mom.
Your daughter,
Julie (Our Thrive Life) -
My Allie Girl,
I have waited and procrastinated writing this letter to you. I've thought many times on what I would say. I thought that in waiting somehow the words would just come freely. As I sit here on the evening before you go to live with your forever family my heart is full of so many emotions.
I want you to know how loved you are. How special you are. You are a strong and spirited young child and will be a great person in life. I know it because I have looked into your eyes and seen both the beauty outside and within. You are a spirit daughter of our Heavenly Father. He loves you and he wants you to be happy. I want you to know that you have a Savior, Jesus Christ, who loves you so very much.
In the short six months that you have been a part of our family I have grown to love you with the same love I have for my own child, my flesh and blood. Everyone says that it is impossible. But it isn't. I love you as a daughter and I always will. I know that Tricia and David, your new Mama and Daddy, will love you with this same love. As much heartache as I have in letting you go, I know that the love that they have for you will carry you throughout life. I have complete confidence that you will turn out to be a radiant and lovely young woman.
I want you to know that as an infant you have always been strong. You held your head up when you were just days old, you rolled over earlier than most other babies. You are even beginning to crawl before you are six months old! You are healthy and developmentally on track. You give us so much joy. You love people. You enjoy being held and tickled and read to. You are inquisitive and want to know what is going on. You babble and screech to let everyone know that you are around and will not be ignored.
You sleep through the night and have since you were two months old. You are patient and loving. You love to play with Isaac, your brother in our home. He cares very much for you as well. He walks around asking where "Sissy" is and is always happy to give you hugs. You both spend a lot of time laughing at each other's silly antics. He will miss you.
Most of all my sweet Allie I want you to know that you are a blessing to our lives. We are grateful to have had this time for you. We have seen you grow from a newborn only 8 lbs 13 oz to a healthy and robust 6 month old. I am grateful to have been your Mama for a season. You have taught me so much about motherhood, especially being a mother of a little girl. Thank you for sharing your life with us. I have great hope that our relationship will continue. That you will always know our family.
I have so much more that my heart cannot even say. I love you my sweet child.
Love, Your Mama
Mama C -
Dear younger me,
I know you badly want children. Do not cry, do not doubt God, HE has a plan for you! One day you will sit in the doctor's office and you will be told you cannot conceive a child-DO NOT FRET, DO NOT WORRY! This is all part of HIS great plan! By 2013, you will have four sweet princesses that have at some point called you "Mommy." To three of them (and many more to come), you will become Aunt "Mama C." Your marriage will become stronger than ever! Your husband is truly a rock & together y'all are an unstoppable team! This journey will be the hardest, but most rewarding journey of your life! Enjoy every moment. One of the princesses will one day legally become yours (Lord willing). You will remain in contact with the other 3 sweet babies & their families will become part of yours! Do not give up on HIM or on HIS plan! Through this journey, you will be blessed more than you could ever imagine…remain in HIM always & HIS plan will be revealed! You will also meet some wonderful "friends" through the blogging world…I know you are anti-meeting people online, but these people will become your support group! You will all go through everything together, you will cry when the others go through a hard time and they will do the same for you! You will pray for each other like you are family! Just always remember one thing:
Jeremiah 29:11
New International Version (NIV)
11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
30 something Mama C :-)
"Mie" (Letting Go of Mie) -
Your Honor –
Thank you for serving our county by presiding over family law cases, particularly those regarding the status of parental rights brought on by our great state. I know you are passionate about the rule of law but also about the impact these cases have on families, both the parents and the children. I too am greatly concerned about the legal status of parental relationships and the real-life consequences these cases have on all involved.
As a foster parent, I don't have the opportunity to address you regularly in court. I certainly wish I could though and so I show up to court as often as possible to show my support to the case and, most importantly to me, the children. These children are beautiful. I have known them now for 6 months and even though they have only been placed with me for several weeks they have definitely grown on my heart and I care deeply for them. Like you, I want what is best for them and strongly believe that for any child what is best for them is to be raised by their biological parents who are healthy, stable, and can provide them a safe and loving home.
Your honor, these children are in desperate need of permanency. They have been in the court system for more than 2 years now. Their family has let them down time and time again. They have lived in at least 8 homes, having moved 5 times in the past 6 months. They are so young and vulnerable your honor. They need someone to stand up for them and their needs, someone who understands that they are at a pivotal point in this journey. We watched helplessly as they were moved around before coming to our home and saw how at each stop they became less attached and more volatile. Now that they are in our home we've watched their defenses fall, healing begin, and progress made though at each visit they fall apart and exhibit scary, uncontrolled behaviors. Your honor, I have carefully parented these children since they have been with me to support healing. I've also spoken with them several times and even they can describe it clearly – they love their mother and father but do not feel safe with them, even now after the changes they have made. The children have described to me the times they have gone without food where they've had to literally search the streets to find something to eat. They have shared with me how their parents made them drink alcohol, how their mother sleeps all the time and won't feed them and how their father frequently uses bad words with children. One of the children looks forward to seeing the parents at visits in order to hit them because that is what their relationship consists of. Do they want to have a good relationship with the father and mother who birthed them? Absolutely, but they also know that they are not safe with them and are genuinely fearful of being around them without additional supervision.
Recently, your honor, the kids came home from their unsupervised visit telling us about their encounter with the police. They told me in painful detail about the interaction – they had to see things kids their age should never have to see. This experience is just yet another one to confirm that their parents cannot keep them safe. Your honor – recently you gave this parent permission to see the children unsupervised to provide the opportunity to see what would happen if/when the children return home. This is the answer. Everyone watching can see that these beautiful children will face further insecurity, both emotionally and physically.
In our home things are different. They are provided healthy food on a regular basis, as much as is needed. We repeatedly tell them how loved they are and how hard we will work to keep them safe. They are getting their first normal, healthy family relationship possibly in their entire lives and they are not only healing but are thriving. Consequently, they are asking to stay forever. They want to know when they can talk to you to tell you that they want to stay with us forever and never have to leave.
Your honor – when will you give them their wish? When will they be able to have a safe and loving home, permanently, so they can live healthy and fulfilled lives? I appreciate that you are trying to give their family every possible opportunity to reunite – if I were in their shoes I would want the same opportunity – but at what cost? I'll tell you the cost – everyday these children go without permanency with the lack of complete security in knowing where they will spend the rest of their childhood they take one more step toward a dark place – a place many foster children are pushed toward through the system from which many are never fully able to return. Their ability to love and be loved, to function in society knowing they have a safe family supporting them, to overcome their difficult beginning and become the shining stars you see when you look in their eyes...all of that disappears just a little bit every day they aren't given forever. We know the life they face if they return to their biological family who has proven historically and recently that they lack the ability to provide security. Please, your honor, consider the childrens' requests to stay with us forever and their needs for safety, security and love. Help us provide them what they need and deserve, forever.
Sincerely - A humble and desperate mother
Tammy aka. Mimi (I Must Be Trippin') -
Dear C,
The last time I saw you a year and a half ago, I was comforting your hysterical infant while you cried silent tears. It was your scheduled supervised visit with Monkey, and for once you showed up. You stood there and watched as I tried to reassure your child that he would have fun with his Mommy, to which you uttered the words that broke my heart. "It's okay... To him, you are Mommy." You weren't angry or bitter like some birth mothers would be. You were utterly defeated. That visit was your last. You never came back.
There are so many things that I want to say to you... So many things that I want you to know about our little boy... At 28-months-old, sixteen months after Monkey went home to live with his Daddy, I am still his Mommy. Monkey's no longer the newborn who you held in your arms in the hospital. He is a non-stop bundle of energy, talks like a 4-year-old, and is so full of love. Your "American English baby" as you once called him is picking up bits of Spanish from his Daddy, and definitely keeps us on our toes trying to follow his conversations in a mix of his two languages. I know you'd be so proud of what an amazing little boy he has turned out to be.
I think of you every day, and pray that you are okay. Every time Monkey throws himself into my arms and smiles up at me saying, "There Mommy is," I think of you and grieve a little for what you are missing. I grieve for what Monkey is missing by not knowing the Mama who risked her own life to have him... The Mama who always cuddled her baby boy and smelled like Loves Baby Soft perfume... The Mama who immersed herself in English lessons because she wanted him to understand her... The Mama who hung on my every word to learn even the smallest details about her baby boy... The Mama who won her battle with cancer and who tried so hard to overcome the addictions and depression that resulted from that fight...
I want you to know that I love Monkey with a Mama's fierce love. I want you to know that I will try to love him enough for both of us. I have no doubt that you love him. During the year that you tried so hard to overcome your demons, I saw that love firsthand. I know that the only reason Monkey is here at all is because of the love that you had for him even before he was born. You carried him against medical advice. You fought so hard for him before he was even born. You fought so hard during the time that he was in foster care, but as hard as you tried, you just weren't able to heal. You fought for him though... As hard as you could... And I want you to know that I will make sure he knows that when he's old enough to understand.
I pray every day that you are still fighting to heal. I pray that you can feel our hope for you even when you don't have that hope for yourself. I told you one time that Monkey needs you, and I still believe that is true. My hope is that one day, Monkey will be walking the stage at his college graduation and looking out to see both of his moms loving and cheering him on. The mom who gave birth to him and who fought and overcame her demons in order to be a positive influence in his life... and me, the mom who raised him, who kissed all of his hurts, and who loved him with a Mama Bear love so deep that I was changed for the better.
Until that day, I will love our son for the both of us.
With love and hope for the future,


text:
Dear Mark and Sue
Re: 08.06 FGW service from Oxford to Paddington, 28/11/11. Amount of my day wasted: 30 minutes.
Mark! Sue! How the blue bleezes are you? What's strumming your ukuleles today? What's banging your big bass drums? What's squeezing your squeezeboxes? Get ready for a big long one! It's a whopper today! Here it comes…
(I'm sorry for the obscurity of the greeting – I know you're used to something more streetwise and slangy, something more zesty and zeitgeisty, something altogether more hip – and quite right too! We're pretty hip cats, the three of us! Me and you, Mark, we're funky-fresh and fly! And Sue's no stranger to a buffalo stance! We're down with the kids, right? Down with the kids, that's what I say! Down with the bleedin' lot of 'em!)
The fact is, I'm not feeling in a very streetwise mood today, Mark. I'm not feeling the word from the hood this morning, Sue (that rhyme works if you pronounce it in a Snoop Dogg-style southern-friend drawl: the woooord from the hooooood). You know why? Because it's winter, my chilly-fingered chums, my tres froids amis! And whenever it gets to deep midwinter in the ancient valley of the Thames, my thoughts inevitably turn to folk music.
They do! I'm not joking, Mark! I'm listening to folk music right now! As I sit here and type, on one of your ancient trains, with nothing but the blasted heaths between Slough and Southall to distract me, as I mentally tick off the minutes of my once-promising life (I coulda been someone, Sue! I coulda been a contender, Mark!), the whole sorry experience is being soundtracked by the fiddly-dees and and fa-la-las of some good olde English folk music.
I love that crazy accordion stuff, Mark! I'm a sucker for a penny whistle, Sue! (But only in the winter time, mind. I'm not totally uncool.) I got my iPod winter folk playlist set up and everything – mostly a bunch of winsome Geordie chicks wailing beautifully about the sea, and a motley crew of bellowing Oxford boys making what sounds like zombiefied morris dancing music.
Quite a lot of the songs are about drowning, for some reason, Mark. A fair amount of them seem to touch upon themes of lost maidenhood, Sue. I'm not sure why this is: but either way it goes well with the season. Better than Snoop Dogg does, at any rate. Perhaps things are different in South Central LA.
So: you heard it first here, pop pickers! Punky-folky zombie morris music is the soundtrack du les winter jours! Plaintive Geordie sisters bemoaning the wildness of the moors and the wetness of the seas are the only way to sonically sum up the season! Get on board now, Mark! They'll all be strumming along next year, Sue!
(Expect a lot of folk music to come, Mark. My favourite badger-themed weather website tells me that this winter is set to last a while yet. Maybe months! Perhaps until the spring even!)
My! What a long way of saying hello! My fingers fair ran away with me! (Or rather my 36 typewriting letter monkeys' fingers ran away with them. Don't forget, Mark: it's the monkeys who write these things now! Blame the monkeys and their mad obsession with seasonally-themed mood music! Bad monkeys!)
So – seriously, how the dickens are you? Well? Hale? Hearty? Good! Excellent! Well done! Keep it up! That's the important thing – keep the flag flying! Don't let them get you down! We shall, as another kind of folk song goes, overcome!
But my monkeys digress. To business, Mark! Enough flim-flam! We're serious men, and such merry-making demeans us and makes a mockery of our grave and sober natures.
You too, Sue! Though I wouldn't dare to presume on the nature of your, er, nature. I wouldn't dream of speculating on your relative seriousness or sobriety. I don't feel I could – what with you never taking the time out of your busy schedule as Communications Director for First Great Western to actually communicate with me. I feel it would be presumptuous. But, for what it's worth, you don't feel like a serious and sober type to me. You seem like much more fun altogether. I hope you are, anyway. In fact, Sue, don't tell me! I don't want to spoil the surprise!
To business! Once more, we three meet again! Through thunder, lightning or in trains! When the hurly-burly's done; when the battle's lost and won, ere the train has been and gone!*
Mark! Sue! My train was delayed again! For a long, long time! It felt like an age, Mark! It felt like an aeon! It felt like an… era. Or error.
You totally went for it on Monday morning, Mark! None of your eight, 10 or 12 minute jabs, none of your six minute feints… not even those punishing body shots, those wincing uppercuts around the 20 minute mark…on Monday morning, as the fiddles reached a crescendo in my ears and a man sang something about whisky and drowning and lost maidenhood and my inner zombie morris dancer stamped his feet and rattled his bells and jigged along appreciatively, the olde English 8.06 locomotive from Oxford to London town stumbled, stuttered, sputtered and slid to a slow and shuddering stop.
Between Slough and Southall, Sue – somewhere near Maidenhead, Mark (which was a pleasing, if still ultimately annoying, coincidence, given the soundtrack) we stopped dead in our tracks.
And there, like a tantrumming toddler spread-eagled on the floor of Tescos (don't ask, Mark – it's just a phase the littl'un's going through. One of many. And not even the most embarrassing. Please God I never have to tell you about his "willy time" trick. It's mortifying) – like a tantrumming toddler with his trousers still thankfully on, we refused to budge. For longer than it seemed my patience could bear.
Not a jab, or an uppercut, or a deft one-two to the kidneys… but a 30-minute delay, Mark. A big, swinging, telegraphed haymaker of a delay. A mighty swing that sent me flying on to the canvas! (This is all a metaphor, of course, Sue. I feel my monkeys are getting the hang of these metaphors now! What do you think?)
It was like Rocky IV, Mark! Literally! I mean – metaphorically! It was exactly like a metaphor for Rocky IV! There's me, Apollo Creed, in my fancy stars and stripes shorts, prancing about the ring, still buzzing from James Brown's performance of Living in America ("station to station!"), winking to the ladies and showboating for the boys, dancing around the canvas… and standing dead centre, watching me with contempt in his eyes… there's your train, Mark.
Your train was Ivan Drago, Mark! Huge, blond, flat-topped, pumped full of Soviet super-strength. Watching me prance and dance and ham it up for the crowd – until, as if in slow motion, one mighty metaphorical fist goes swinging slowly back and… WHAMMO! BOSH! WHEE! CRUNCH! Face down in the dust. Out for the count.
Or something like that, anyway. You know what I mean. Apologies if the monkeys got a bit carried away with the Rocky IV metaphor there. (Last night was Monkey Film Club – they watched the entire Rocky series back to back. They've been somewhat overexcited since. Next week they're planning on an Ingmar Bergman retrospective. God help us all.)
Although, given that Rocky IV is essentially a clunky metaphor for the Soviet occupation of Eastern Europe (and a rather pathetic fantasy of how the Americans might take it back) my monkeys can at least take comfort from the fact they're in good company. If it's good enough for Sylvester Stallone, Mark, it's good enough for me and my monkeys. That's always been my motto.
What was I saying? Oh yes. Thirty minutes, Mark! What was all that about? Signal failures? Buckled points? Congestion? The annexing of Czechoslovakia?
For 30 long minutes I sat on your train, listening to some deeply uncool music, looking at the wastelands around Slough and Southall (so many, Mark! I had not thought Slough had undone so many!) and wondering just how I was going to write a letter long enough to waste 30 minutes of your time in return.
It's no mean feat, Mark! Have you ever tried wasting someone's time for that lo—actually, what am I saying? Of course you have! You're an old hand at it! Dude – it's what you do! Day in, day out, Mark! Wasting my time, morning and evening. And best of all, having me pay for it too! Nice trick, Mark! Sweet scam, Sue! You must give me some tips sometime. You must tell me how you've managed to pull that one off.
But I forget myself. Congratulations are in order! Your last letter was lovely, Mark! Better than lovely, it was splendid! It was brilliant! It was… exciting! You had a big announcement!
(I've just read that paragraph back to myself: sorry if it sounds sarcastic, It wasn't supposed to sound sarcastic. It was supposed to sound excited. It was meant to sound puppyishly enthusiastic. It was meant to convey the same kind of optimism and energy as, for example, one might see displayed by 36 monkeys enjoying Sylvester Stallone battering the bejaysus out of Dolph Lundgren and thereby metaphorically liberating untold millions of oppressed Slavs.)
It was not meant to sound sarcastic, Mark. Your big news is indeed excellent news! More carriages is a good thing! A great thing! I'm all for it! The thought of actually getting a seat for every journey is amazing! Revolutionary!
Up till now, the idea of paying around £450 a month with no guarantee of ever actually sitting down just seemed the way things had to be to ensure that you chaps made enough profit for yourselves…
So yes! Yes to more carriages, Mark! Well done! I wholeheartedly approve! And I would also like to say thankyou. Thankyou for investing in the service you're providing! Thankyou for taking steps to ensure more of your paying customers get the seat they've paid for every now and then. Huzzah! Hoorah! Hoopla!
Now is the winter of my discontent made glorious summer by this extra-carriage talk!
And let's hope this is just the start, eh? Let's make this a bright start! Let's make this big announcement the first of many, many other wonderful big announcements! What do you think, Mark? Can we do it? Yes – as both Bob the Builder and President Nixon believed – we can!
I'm with Bob, Mark! I'm with Tricky Dicky, Sue! A brave future awaits – and I shall be there to greet it. I shall be on the platform with the other commuters, inching my way closer to the spot where I think the door might be, trying to make myself bigger so as to shoulder my way on first, pretending we're all in it together but knowing that when it comes down to it, it's every man for himself seat-wise…
I'm there, Mark! Along with all the other commuters, turning our faces to the light, shielding our eyes against the glory of the brave new world that awaits! I can't wait! I literally cannot wait!
It's a great start, Mark! It's good work! And if it was to be followed by trains running on time and to their promised schedules, if it were to mean no more awkward excuses for turning up to work late most days, if it were to mean no more missing bedtime stories because the kids have already fallen asleep by the time I get home most nights… well, if that was to happen, Mark, I would be the happiest man in Coach C.
It would mean no more letters to you, Mark! It would mean the end of our beautiful friendship, Sue! No more wasting my time, no more of me wasting your time! I'm happy just thinking about it!
Au revoir!
*Not bad, eh, Sue? Did you like it? It has a certain poetic frisson, no? "When shall we three meet again…" It's from a play I'm writing – it's the first lines of the play. I'm calling the play: MacDom.
It's about a ticket inspector (MacDom) who meets these three weird sister chicks trying to pass through the ticket barriers using an off-peak super-saver return during a period when only saver-returns or anytime-returns are allowed, and in exchange for letting them off having to purchase a full-price ticket, they promise him that one day he'll be station manager of all Scotland.
Anyway… I won't spoil the whole plot for you, but suffice to say his wife's a bit of an uppity madam, there's a spot of trouble with an overkeen young train conductor called Macdandruff, a bit more prophesising, and it all ends in tears. Except for Macdandruff, who makes a wood move to Dunsinane (don't ask how) and generally leads on quite a bit. I'll be sure to let you have further extracts as and when I write them…

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Sales Event open to ALL Home & Garden Stores!
Pictures will be posted below simply click the store name under each picture to TP.
ALL items are 55L$.
If you wish to join in the event TP Here –>>APPLICATION FORM
The next Doorstep Bargains Sale runs- August 23 – September 5
Aileen's Shabby Chic & Country Store
To purchase any item simply click the store number under each picture
(This will TP you to their store)


text:
- All
- Atonement
- God
- Heaven and Hell
- The Holy Spirit
- Jesus Christ
- Last Things
- Man and Sin
- Sacraments
- Salvation
- Systematic Theology
- Apologetics
- Christianity and Culture
- Ethics
- Philosophy
- Bible Interpretation
- Bibles
- Controversies in the Church
- Marriage and Family
- Practical Theology
- Spiritual Growth
- Sanctification and Growth
How should we be in the world but not of it? What does "not of it" mean?
The New Testament tells us that we are not to be conformed to this world but that we are to be transformed by the renewing of our mind (Rom. 12:2). Let's look at those two words that are crucial to …Read More
How can I prevent my personal Christian growth from becoming stagnant?
There's only one absolute way I know of to keep your Christian growth from becoming stagnant, and that is to die. The only time Christian growth stops altogether is at death. That's because we don't need to grow any further; …Read More
How should I handle my own doubts about God's presence in my life?
This question brings to mind an experience I had early in my ministry. In fact, I'd only been ordained a few months and was teaching at a college. One church had a minister who was much loved by his congregation; …Read More
When Jesus says, "Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect," does that mean we can attain perfection, and should we?
There are a couple of things we need to understand about this statement. In the first place, the word that is translated "perfect" literally means "be complete." So often, the New Testament and the Old Testament will describe people as …Read More


text:
Munich: China stands for common security and calls for an inclusive world order, a Chinese official said on Sunday.
China does not want to see the world divided again by exclusive military blocks, and opposes the repression by the US and other Western countries of China's political system, Xinhua news agency quoted Fu Ying, chairwoman of the Foreign Affairs Committee of the National People's Congress of China, as saying.
The world needs to change and have an inclusive world order and framework, a common roof, to accommodate as much as possible the diverse interests, needs and ideas, she noted.
China stands firmly for the international order and system that is based on the purposes and principles of the UN Charter as Chinese President Xi Jinping put it in his speech in Seattle during his US visit last September, she said.
China has also proposed mechanisms where the existing international order falls short. For example, the "Belt and Road" initiative and the Asian Infrastructure Investment Bank are new public goods China is offering, Fu said.
On China-US relations, she said as the two countries have growing common interest in world affairs, they need to cooperate to address global challenges.
For this purpose, Xi has proposed to build a new model of major-country relationship with the US that features non-conflict, non-confrontation, mutual respect and win-win cooperation, Fu said.
The Munich Security Conference, an annual informal meeting on international security policy, focuses this year on the war in Syria, the refugee crisis, and the European security order.
For all the latest World News, download NewsX App


text:
Here's the books I've completed this summer. Not expecting to complete any more, in all likelihood, before I go back to school...too bad. With any luck, I'll have some time to write reviews of some of these on here. I think they are all worth reading.
God's Politics: Why the Right Gets It Wrong and the Left Doesn't Get It by Jim Wallis
What Color Is Your Parachute by Richard Nelson Bolles
Blue Like Jazz: Nonreligious Thoughts on Christian Spirituality by Donald Miller
Stiff by Mary Roach
The Invention of Hugo Cabret by Brian Selznick
The Gifts of the Jews by Thomas Cahill
Against the Tide by Sen. Lincoln Chafee
The Summons by John Grisham
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone by J.K. Rowling
Twilight by Stephanie Meyer
New Moonby Stephanie Meyer Eclipseby Stephanie Meyer
The King of Torts by John Grisham
Memoirs of a Teenage Amnesiac by Gabrielle Zevin
The Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan
Big Russ & Me by Tim Russert
The Pelican Brief by John Grisham
When It Happens by Susane Colasanti
Breaking Dawnby Stephanie Meyer Diary of a Wimpy Kidby Jeff Kinney
The Tale of Despereaux by Kate DiCamillo
The U.S. of Eh? How Canada Secretly Controls the United States and Why That's OK by Kerry Colburn and Rob Sorensen
Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen
Dr. Seuss and Mr. Geisel: A Biography by Judith and Neil Morgan
All's Fair: Love, War, and Running for President by James Carvill and Mary Matalin
Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Home, Work, and School by John Medina
Holidays on Ice by David Sedaris
Statecraft and How to Restore America's Standing in the World by Dennis Ross
The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart
What Happened by Scott McClellan
The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan
A Time to Kill by John Grisham


text:
Will Smith and Cameron Diaz are some of the few who are top Hollywood Moneymakers in 2007. Some of them are Leonardo Dicaprio, Johnny Depp, Eddie Murphy, Jennifer Aniston and Keira Knightley. Will Smith earned $80 Million making him the number one Hollywood Moneymaker last year according to Forbes magazine. His Handcock is a runaway box-office. Second place went to Johnny Depp with $72 Million paycheck. Leonardo Dicaprio made the fifth place with $55 Million. Where is my favorite Nicole Kidman?
In female category Cameron Diaz who is not affected by the economic crisis earned $50 Million with her film Shrek and What happens in Vegas. These are the Top Hollywood Moneymakers and while they earned those millions let us not forget that Oprah still own the bank with $275 Million last year.
Here are the Hollywood Richest Stars in 2011


text:
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Some stuff to catch up on...
The book that's been on my shelf the longest:
Actually, it's a series of books. I've had a set of 4 Ramona books (by Beverly Cleary) for as long as I can remember. Those books are awesome, and sometimes I still read them now. *sheepish grin*
A book that reminds me of something specific in my life:
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane. It was an adorable book, and I remember reading it curled up on my bed right before lunch on Christmas Day.
A book that I acquired in some interesting way:
I am going to say Shiloh here, because I get most of my books in boring ways. I don't remember how I got Shiloh, and that's the most interesting story I have. (Sorry. I know. I'm pathetic.)
The most recent addition to my shelves:
Mackenzie Blue. You can see my review here, and let me just say that I did not like it.
A book that has been with you the most places:
There are two. One is a Mary Poppins one (I'm not sure which one) and the other is The Sea of Monsters by Rick Riordan. I took both of those on an Europe tour in 2007, during which I visited 8 countries (I think.)
And an extra one:
When I went to India a couple years ago, I got a ton of mystery books by Enid Blyton. They aren't the best books ever, but they are quite interesting, and if you ever have the chance to go to England or somewhere you can get books by this British author, I would definitely recommend her.
For the rules, you can go to Emily Ruth's post here. I'm tagging everyone who wants to do this, because it's fun and everyone should have an opportunity to participate.
I've also received the Sisterhood Award from Jen, who is another fabulous blogger. The rules are here on Jen's post, and this time, I'm passing the award along to...Maya, from allegro!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
The Zombie Chicken Award
Monday, March 23, 2009
Mackenzie Blue
by Tina Wells
(coming out in May 2009)
Synopsis (taken from back of book):
Meet Mackenzie Blue, aka Zee She has it all—smarts, talent, humor, and style. . . . Is it enough to survive middle school?
Countdown to a 7th Grade Meltdown
1. Your BFF moves away.
2. Someone steals your diary and reveals your deepest secrets—to the entire class.
3. You have one chance to become a rock star and one chance to totally blow it. Guess what!? All three happened to me! School's a disaster already. Don't get me wrong—I love Brookdale Academy and I have a fabulous crew of friends. (At least, I think I do.) But, if I'm going to survive, I need all the help I can get!
This is probably one of the most negative reviews I will write on this blog. I requested this ARC from HarperCollins, thinking that it would be a quick, fun read. I was completely wrong. The first thing I noticed was the cover, all pink and purple. I started getting apprehensive. Then, I read the first paragraph:
Hi, Diary,
Today I'm kind of blue. Not blue as in Mackenzie Blue, which I always am. (Ew! I can't believe I just made that joke.) This kind of blue is so not even funny. Not even a little.
So, that first paragraph, especially the writing and language, kind of indicated to me that Mackenzie Blue was sort of a chick-flick book. And that point was proved several times throughout the story, with all of the annoying text messaging and obsessions over sequins.
All of the characters were very stereotypical and shallow. I didn't get to learn about anyone in-depth, and everything was very predictable. The whole story was very girly (there was a whole page on book bag designs!) and cliched.
Oh, and one more thing. There were sketches in the book (about one small one every page) which were hideous. They gave me headaches. Everyone had big heads, gigantic eyes, super tiny waists, and giant feet. There were pictures of lipstick, hearts, teen posters, etc. (And they weren't even very well drawn.)
So...basically, Mackenzie Blue is definitely not worth your time. Unless you find such books as above hilarious and entertaining.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
A Peek Inside my Desk
I decided to change things up a little (mostly because there is nothing of importance in both my bag and my backpack). So I'm going to take y'all on a tour of one of my desk drawers. There will be no picture (because I didn't feel like taking one), but I'll try and make everything as descriptive as possible.
Random Bags
Silver, black, white, navy blue, sparkles, polka dots, etc. I don't even know where I got some of them from.
iPod Song Downloading Cord
for my wonderful iPod, which is big and white (first edition)
Pencil Boxes
Two pink Hello Kitty ones and one green Spacemaker one.
Art Supplies
Crayons, markers, colored pencils. And also Erasable Markers. Those are very cool. They erase pretty well, except the colors are really faded out and light.
Magic "Invisible" Cards
For magic tricks. The catch is that almost all the cards have a blank side. So that somehow helps with the tricks. (I never managed to pull them off.)
Juggling Balls
Another lost cause. There are three soft balls with triangular patterns. Each one is red, green, and yellow. I cannot throw more than two at a time.
A Gray Box with a Transparent Lid
This box contains several important things: tons of stickers, small pieces of paper that I wanted to keep, random pieces of junk, a bell that I got from my sister that was supposedly from The Polar Express, etc.
A Goody Bag filled with Ribbons
Courtesy of Borders Bookstore. The ribbons are shiny and silver and red.
I tag anyone who wants to do this. If you do, then post the link in the comments--I want to see all of your posts! (If you do them, of course.)
Also, I want to thank Beth for this. It made me VERY happy. :)
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Nothing But Ghosts
Nothing But Ghosts isn't just about ghosts. It's about discovering the past, the present, and the future. It's about appreciating the beauty and variety of the natural world. It's about understanding and loving the people around you. It's about exploring, seeing, traveling, and living life to its fullest.
NBG tells the story of Katie D'Amore, who's lived with her father ever since her mother died. While on a summer job, Katie finds herself wrapped up in a fascinating whirlwind of unsolved mysteries and hidden knowledge. Her quest for the truth takes her to the library, where she patiently sorts through seven boxes of "Local Lore" in order to find answers to the lifelong questions she seeks.
In NBG, I felt that the characters were the most developed I'd ever seen in a book. Everyone had their own distinctive personality, from Old Olson's secretive and grumpy demeanor to Jimmy D'Amore's enthusiastic and passionate whims. Unlike some other books, I never got annoyed with the characters nor did I find them mundane; on the contrary, I kept discovering more about each character and their personal qualities.
What I really loved about this book was how Katie, piece by piece, solved the burning questions in her mind. Although I couldn't see how anything would fit together at the beginning, all the small details I'd overlooked started becoming a part of the mystery. Everything started coming together until I could complete the puzzle.
Beth Kephart, other than being a super-nice person, is one of the most evocative and creative authors I've ever met. Her elaborate words conjure up such bright images in my mind (and the descriptions of food in NBG always made me hungry!) Many of her sentences were so poetic and singsong, and definitely added to the overall feel of the book. The unique elements in the story (an annoying finch, colorful bottles, an unidentifiable painting, etc.) also accentuated the mystery of NBG and set up the atmosphere for the whole novel, making it (in my opinion) a masterpiece.
Highly recommended.
Coming out in July 2009.
Are you wearing green?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
My Book Reviews
Madam President by Lane Smith
The Butt Book by Artie Bennett
The Lump of Coal by Lemony Snicket
Children's Books
A Crooked Kind of Perfect by Linda Urban
A Midnight Clear by Katherine Paterson
Araminta Spookie: My Haunted House by Angie Sage
Charlie Bone and the Red Knight by Jenny Nimmo
Charlie Bone and the Shadow by Jenny Nimmo
Diary of a Wimpy Kid by Jeff Kinney
Dragon Slippers by Jessica Day George
Howl's Moving Castle by Diana Wynne Jones
Just Grace and the Snack Attack by Charise Mericle Harper
Long Shadows by Erin Hunter (contains major spoilers)
Mackenzie Blue by Tina Wells
Mackenzie Blue: Friends Forever? by Tina Wells
Mackenzie Blue: The Secret Crush by Tina Wells
Matilda by Roald Dahl
My Sparkling Misfortune by Laura Lond
Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
Shakespeare's Secret by Elise Broach
The Girl Who Could Fly by Victoria Forester
The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
The Last Olympian by Rick Riordan
The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan
The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane by Kate DiCamillo
The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan
The Runaway Dolls by Ann M. Martin and Laura Godwin
The Somebodies by N.E. Bode
The Tales of Beedle the Bard by J.K. Rowling
When You Reach Me by Rebecca Stead
Young Adult (YA) Books
A Conspiracy of Kings by Megan Whalen Turner
A Curse Dark as Gold by Elizabeth C. Bunce
Adventure at Simba Hill by Susan Runholt
A Northern Light by Jennifer Donnelly
Behind Every Illusion by Christina Harner
Big Fat Manifesto by Susan Vaught
Book of a Thousand Days by Shannon Hale
Broadway Lights by Jen Calonita
Catching Fire by Suzanne Collins
City of Bones by Cassandra Clare
City of Glass by Cassandra Clare
Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare
Coffeehouse Angel by Suzanne Selfors
Dangerous Neighbors by Beth Kephart
Don't Judge a Girl by Her Cover by Ally Carter
Dream Life by Lauren Mechling
Enchanted Ivy by Sarah Beth Durst
Enna Burning by Shannon Hale
Every Soul a Star by Wendy Mass
Explorer X- Alpha by LM. Preston
Eyes Like Stars by Lisa Mantchev
Forest Born by Shannon Hale
Heist Society by Ally Carter
How to Ditch Your Fairy by Justine Larbalestier
I'd Tell You I Love You, But Then I'd Have to Kill You by Ally Carter
If I Stay by Gayle Forman
Inside Out by Maria V. Snyder
Into the Wild by Sarah Beth Durst
Kiki Strike: Inside the Shadow City by Kirsten Miller
Leviathan by Scott Westerfeld
Mockingjay by Suzanne Collins
My Soul to Save by Rachel Vincent
North of Beautiful by Justina Chen Headley
Nothing But Ghosts by Beth Kephart
Nothing But the Truth (and a few white lies) by Justina Chen Headley
Only the Good Spy Young by Ally Carter
Out of the Wild by Sarah Beth Durst
Paranormalcy by Kiersten White
Perchance to Dream by Lisa Mantchev
Poison Study by Maria V. Snyder
Princess Academy by Shannon Hale
Princess of Glass by Jessica Day George
Princess of the Midnight Ball by Jessica Day George
River Secrets by Shannon Hale
Same Difference by Siobhan Vivian
Scarlett Fever by Maureen Johnson
Slept Away by Julie Kraut
Stealing Death by Janet Lee Carey
Sun and Moon, Ice and Snow by Jessica Day George
The Adoration of Jenna Fox by Mary E. Pearson
The Cinderella Society by Kay Cassidy
The Dragons of Noor by Janet Lee Carey
The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May, & June by Robin Benway
The Goose Girl by Shannon Hale
The Heart is Not a Size by Beth Kephart
The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins
The Miles Between by Mary E. Pearson
The Shadow Thieves by Anne Ursu
Undercover by Beth Kephart
Wayfarer by R.J. Anderson
Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson
Graphic Novels
Rapunzel's Revenge by Shannon, Dean, and Nathan Hale
Calamity Jack by Shannon, Dean, and Nathan Hale
A Midsummer Night's Dream
As You Like It
Much Ado About Nothing
Romeo and Juliet
113 Things to do by 13 by Brittany and Terri MacLeod
Yearly Favorites
Best Books of 2009
Best Books of 2010
Thursday, March 12, 2009
And also, I'm doing a little renovation on my blog now. I'm trying to organize my posts a little better now and everything, and I may be playing around with the template. I'll try and settle everything soon.
Monday, March 09, 2009
Nothing But The Truth (and a few white lies)
-note: I realized that I'm overusing the words "love," "like," "enjoy," "really," and "interesting" in my book reviews. So I'm going to attempt writing this review without using any of these words. (expanding my vocab...)
Patty Ho has always been teased- teased for her name, her Asian background, her mother, her bad breath (due to the stinky Tonic Soup her mother makes her drink), and basically everything having to do with her. All this changes when her authoritative mother sends her to math camp at Stanford, where her whole perspective on herself and her life changes.
Nothing But The Truth (and a few white lies) is pretty similar to North of Beautiful in terms of its overall message (learning to appreciate yourself), but the method of conveying that message was very different. After reading the first few pages, I was immediately intrigued by the story plot. Patty seemed like a honest, down-to-earth person, and I felt like I was reading her book of truths (which I was metaphorically, not but literally). Also, Patty, being a half-Asian who has to live up to her mother's high expectations and constantly be compared to others, is a highly relatable character--I could totally sympathize with her feelings all throughout the book.
In addition, I was fascinated by Patty's discovery of herself, her friends and family, and the whole world around her. Her friend Jasmine related in many ways to Jacob (from North of Beautiful) in that she challenged Patty to look beyond other people's opinions of her and embrace her inner geek and bravery. Patty's math coach Brian silently helped her by revealing her true potential and just being a good friend to count on in times of need. All of these characters were well-thought-out and developed, and they were woven neatly into the story. Overall, Nothing But the Truth was heartwarming, touching, fun...kudos to Justina for her awesome writing!
* And by the way (after much thought), I decided not to go with ratings on my reviews. My reviews kind of speak for themselves. But if you're interested in seeing my ratings, I have all of them up on Goodreads. *
Sunday, March 08, 2009
layered papers in a collage of wind,
ice, snow, rain
The wind tears apart the clouds, so
blinding with hints of blue
tucked among the curves of the sky,
the tips of craggy mountaintops, and teetering cliffs.
The sun paints black figures as it
drips through the glass and onto
my book of yesterdays.
Saturday, March 07, 2009
Shannon Hale Books
The Goose Girl is probably my example of a perfectly-written book. It has all the elements of a perfect story- adventure, magic, and romance, and I just could not put it down. Ani's story was really distinctive for me (having never read the fairytale version of this story), and I loved how she could interact with the wind. The best part of The Goose Girl is that whenever I reread it, I always take away something new and discover things I didn't notice before.
Enna Burning wasn't as good as The Goose Girl for me, but it was enjoyable all the same. Enna's character is so different from Ani's, and it was interesting to read from her point of view. (Go fire!) I just loved the whole story and I reread this book over 20 times. :)
Isn't this cover just luscious? It's probably my favorite Allison Jay cover. River Secrets is just as good. Finally from the point of a male character, Razo, the story tells the tale of the young boy's travel to a neighboring city, where there is a mystery to be solved... For the first time in the Books of Bayern, River Secrets had a hint of mystery in it as well, which I really liked. It was fun to read about Razo's coming-of-age and becoming a man (I loved when he accused Enna of shrinking his pants), especially since he really didn't believe it. :P
Very intriguing book, written in diary formatting. Unlike most other diary books I've read, this one was very serious. Surprisingly, it was the most realistic Shannon Hale book for me, because it seemed to encompass different cultures, lifestyles, and people. Gosh, I should've written this review when I actually remembered most of the book. :-/ But anyways, I had fun reading it, and you probably will too.
Now we come to the Newbery Honor book. And my first Hale book too. It didn't look very interesting from the back summary, but I'm glad I read it, because it was very good. Shannon Hale took the concept of a academy for princesses and transformed it into a school for "mountain girls." Miri was an interesting character as well as Katar, Britta, Olana (she reminded me of Umbridge), etc. etc. Very nicely written and definitely deserves the Newbery.
And I have a question for everyone:
Which of these covers do you like the best? I say The Goose Girl, but most people seem to go with Enna's.
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
percy jackson castings
These are the first two castings for the Lightning Thief movie. I think that Logan Lerman, who is playing Percy, might work out fine, but Brandon T. Jackson for Grover? No. Just doesn't work that way.
So I was feeling very sad about the Grover casting. And then Maya and Maribeth had the ingenious idea to have a mourning party on Goodreads (with virtual smoothies!) It is on March 20th, 8 PM central time, and I hope to see all of you there! :-P
Monday, March 02, 2009
Happy Birthday, Dr. Seuss
Sunday, March 01, 2009
The Hunger Games
Basic Plot:
24 teenagers are thrown into a giant arena where they get to fight each other to the death for several days.
What I Thought of It:
I personally found The Hunger Games to be intriguing, suspenseful, mildly satirical, and very entertaining. The book was an interesting way to portray Darwin's survival-of-the-fittest theory (at least for me) in a complete dystopia. Some parts were funny, some were sad--it was a very nice mix. I've never read anything else like The Hunger Games, and I'm looking forward to Catching Fire.
Sorry for the short review--I'm not really in a reviewing mood right now. I do have one question for everyone who reads my blog: do you think I should add ratings on my book reviews (ie. one star, two stars, three stars, etc.) ?


text: I went to a casual seafood restaurant (jeans fine). On the menu, there were appetizers, main entrees on top. At the bottom, sides and desserts. The entrees had descriptions like (leaving out details of where it's from, how prepared, etc.): halibut with oyster mushrooms and creamy grits $27, scallops with cauliflower puree and wild mushrooms $26, sablefish with watercress salad and xxx (I can't remember) $29. Sides were things like mac and cheese, cole slaw, onion rings, braised collard greens, things like that. From the descriptions and price, I assumed an entree would be a meal entree, where the protein was part of a whole meal. I ordered scallops and got four scallops, a little sauce and four mushrooms on a little rectangular plate that looked like an appetizer. They were excellent but I was still hungry afterward. Is it wrong to assume an entree, not a "protein" or "meat, fish, chicken" list (I've seen this before, but then there are lists of "vegetables", "starches" below and it's clear that's all you're getting), should come with more? I'm not complaining as much as wondering if this is becoming a new norm.


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Sunday, May 01, 2011
Sick dogs can be expensive
Of that expense, it's only fair that I disclose that at least some of it was spent on a new rifle that I found in a shop nearby while I was waiting on the vet to check the oil and rotate the paws. Why do gun stores and vets have to be so close to each other?
The rifle is a Belgian Mauser, Model 1950, one of the last bolt-action Mausers ever produced. This one was made in 1952 and bears the Belgian crown over a letter "B" for King Baudouin, the monarch of Belgium.The letters "ABL" stand for Armee Belge-Belgisch Leger, or "Belgian Army Rifle" in both French and Dutch.
This rifle, unlike most 98-pattern Mausers, was factory chambered for the U.S. .30 M2 cartridge, better known as .30-06, instead of the European standard 8mm. The reason for this is because after the war, the United States was giving anyone and his dog about as much surplus .30 as they wanted. (We had a lot at the end of the war, and we were nothing if not generous.) Note the small notch cut into the receiver ring below the crest. That's so that the slightly-longer .30 cartridge can be pushed down into the magazine on stripper clips without the bullet tip hanging up on the receiver.
This rifle was made at the Belgian state-run arms complex, Fabrique Nationale de Herstal.
Many of you know, of course, that the Belgians has a really neat semi-automatic rifle known as the FN-49 that was, alongside the M-1 Garand, representative of the new era of military rifles on the horizon. So why, why this design ready to go, would FN still be making brand new bolt-action Mauser rifles that were better suited for the battlefields of the First Word War? Probably for the same reason that we made 1903 Springfields right up through 1944--there was a need and the machinery was already in place and ready to go.
The FN plant, again as many of you know, fell into German hands when the armies of the Reich swept into the Low Countries in 1940. The Germans were never ones to waste a good thing, so they put the plant into operation making their Model 98 Mausers for the duration. At war's end, the Belgian government needed new rifles and wanted the FN-49 but the plant wasn't set up to make them in sufficient number yet. However, the plant was still able to make Model 98 Mausers, so FN just made those for three years until the FN-49s were able to supplant them in Belgian military arsenals. As it was already known that the Belgian FN-49 was going to be chambered in .30-06 thanks to US largesse, these Mausers were also made in .30-06 to ease the transition. Coming from FN, they were very high-quality rifles, and this one is rock-solid tight with a smooth bolt action and a trigger that breaks better than many commercial rifles today. It has the smooth gray European parkerized finish, a dark walnut stock, and the serial numbers match, receiver, bolt and stock. This rifle is not import-marked, and the barrel is bright in pit-free. The shop had it tossed in with a couple of lackluster import-stamped Yugoslav M-48 Mausers and priced similarly. I don't think that they realized what this one was, but I did because I've been looking for one for a while. It was priced quite a bit less than I would have paid for it, but because this shop's owner is known for sharp dealing and hasn't done me any favors, I haggled another 15% off the price.
Here it is in the Mauser section of the gun room, at far right with the only straight bolt in the bunch. (Yes, I know...I need more Mausers.) The others are, right to left, World War 1 German K98A, World War 2 German K98K converted to 7.62mm by the Israelis, Post-war Czech K98K.
Today I took it out to the range for a test. Fodder was some M2 ball that I'd loaded up, and the targets were, as usual, a couple of paper plates stapled one above the over at 100 yards. I wound up sharing the range with a couple of bench-rest shooters, which sucked for all of us to some extent as the bench-resters at this club are pretty snobby and elitist.
For those not in the know, bench-rest shooters fire custom-made rifles with huge scopes. They fire the rifles from special rests that hold them absolutely still, and only shoot a shot every few minutes because they want the rifle to cool to ambient temperature for every shot. Their goal is to put all of their bullets though that same hole. Me personally, I've never gotten into the idea of sitting in a law chair next to a rifle locked in a vise on a concrete bench and pulling it's trigger every now and again, then swabbing the bore completely clean before the next shot. But hey--if that's your thing...
These guys typically hate it when someone like me (someone who shoots, you know...normally) shows up, because we tend to actually shoot and want to go downrange to change targets. I knew that it was going to be a fun time with these two when after seeing me set up on my firing position, they didn't even bother to offer to stop shooting to let me post targets. Instead they ignored me as I stood there, target backer in hand, waiting for them to stop, as basic courtesy dictates. After they fired a few more shots and showed no sign of stopping, I announced that I needed to go downrange and asked them if they'd mind. This did the trick, and I went down and hung my target.
On my return, after thanking them (because I'm courteous even to jerkwaters), I settled in, sighted on the lower plate, and touched the trigger. BANG!
AR-15s are ok, but I love that roar and recoil from a real .30 rifle. You can keep those little .22's.
I discovered that this rifle hits about ten to twelve inches high at 100 yards, otherwise it's dead on for windage. A solid hold on the center of the lower paper plate put a nice hit in the center of the plate above it almost every time, and the grouping was pretty tight. I experimented with different holds, and a six o'clock hold just below the edge of a plate will put one in the upper half of that plate every time. it's not perfect, but then there weren't point-of-aim match rifles. next time out, I'll see what it does at 200 yards. I didn't have enough time today as I had a lunch date waiting.
My bench-rest pals weren't exactly pleased with that .30 going off again and again and again, 3-4 times a minute, right down the line from them. And of course I was doing what I tend to do when bench-resters are present--We're seated beneath a corrugated metal roof and the rifle muzzles normally protrude out past the roof when the shooter is properly seated at the bench. I've been known to sit back just far enough to bring the rifle muzzle back under the metal, with the result that it's blast echoes clear down the line and rattles everyone's dental fillings.
(Oh, did I do that?)
This often gets rid of bench-resters, even if they merely retreat to their clubhouse behind the line until I'm gone. These guys were no exception. They went back and sat in one guy's SUV and waited me out.
For my part, I only fired 36 rounds, and I was done in about ten minutes. Still, when I finished shooting and went to get my targets, one of them had to snark at me when I came back up.
"Where do you think you are? Leningrad?"
"Nah," I smiled back. "Paper-plateistan."
I may not be able to cover all my shots with a half-dollar like they do, but between my two plates I could account for all 36 rounds fired and that made me more than a little happy with this rifle.
I've always wanted to ask one of these bench-resters how they plan to get any terrorists or zombies that they might encounter to stand right in front of their gun vise at a known distance and remain stock still until they can get all settled and comfy in their lawn chair beside the rifle. And if there are TWO bad guys down range, how do they plan to get the second one to just loiter around while they swab the bore and wait for the rifle to cool down again after the first shot? Silly bench-resters...
So this is what you do when I'm being tortured to death at the vet?
10 comments:
@ ASM: Look for Columbian Mausers, too. Many of those were converted to or built as .30-06 rifles, again because of all the free US-supplied ammo after the war.ReplyDelete
Great score on a sweet rifle, I've been looking for one myself for the last twenty years or so. I did snag a VZ24 with an intact crest though and placed it with my Enfield's and FR-8 so it fit right in. Sorry to hear about Murphy being sick, did the vet say if it was serious or not?ReplyDelete
Murphy apparently picked up some bacteria from a packaged cow bone that I got him at the pet store. He's ok now, but for a few days, he was sick as a--ReplyDelete
Well he was sick.
But he's much better now.
Very nice!ReplyDelete
While my version of vintage is Rolling Block, lever action, or [someday] Trapdoor or Sharps, my club has a very active contingent of 1903, 1917, and Garand shooters.
The bigger danger, if you were at my club, would be that they'll talk your ear off about the oldies and you'll run out of time to shoot...
It was very hard for me to pronounce Armee Belge-Belgisch Leger when I first had to face it in my firearms training school. As the time passed I became comfortable with the guns and now I can shoot 31 different types of firearms.ReplyDelete
MA Firearms School


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Tyler Baltierra's attitude in the Teen Mom OG trailer is appalling
The new season of Teen Mom OG will soon be upon us (premiering Aug. 6 on MTV), and the recently dropped trailer promises the usual chaos — although we've already seen much of it play out in the media. Maci Bookout's engagement and third pregnancy, Amber Portwood's ongoing relationship with the odious Matt Baier, Farrah Abraham's non-relationship with Simon and Catelynn Lowell's struggle with postpartum depression and ensuing stint in rehab will all be featured.
But rest assured, there's plenty we haven't seen yet: Abraham flouncing around in a sparkly jumpsuit, Leah Messer gleeful at the idea of Portwood and Baier getting married, Bookout taking a pregnancy test and Tyler Baltierra yelling at Lowell.
More: Farrah Abraham's visit to Derek Underwood's grave gets unexpected sympathy
To be totally transparent, I am in no way Baltierra's biggest fan. He's been super-arrogant, uncooperative and dismissive of Lowell's feelings. He's fat shamed her. He seems to think jobs/careers/college are for people other than him. It took him way too long to catch on to that whole "parenting isn't just the mother's job" thing. And in the Season 6 trailer, he thinks telling Lowell that even though she thought she was ready to be a mom, "it's not working." Cool. Way to support your partner, dude.
More: You may not see Chelsea Houska on Teen Mom 2 if what her dad said is true
Lowell does a lot of crying in the trailer, saying that she's not OK, that she needs help and that she doesn't need to get shamed by Baltierra, ever. There is a later shot of Baltierra hugging Lowell and telling her he loves her — but I'm so over it, you guys. Maybe show her that you love her by doing some parenting and stop making her constantly feel bad about her anxiety and depression. (Remember last season when he told her to stop saying she was going to be on medication for the rest of her life? What if she does need to be on it so she can have a better quality of life? Stop being gross, Baltierra.)
Look, obviously, the trailer is compiled so the season looks as dramatic as possible; but based on his previous behavior, I have zero trouble believing that Baltierra is going to be a jerk when Lowell needs him the most. I hope I'm wrong because Lowell and her daughter Nova and everyone watching this show deserve a whole lot better.
More: Teen Mom fans are still freaking out over Tyler Baltierra's vows (VIDEO)
Are you going to watch Season 6 of Teen Mom OG? What are you looking forward to? Tell us in the comments.
Before you go, check out our slideshow below.


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B.K.S. Iyengar Quotes About ProgressQuotes about: Progress
In order to find out how to reveal our innermost Being, the sages explored the various sheaths of existence, starting from body and progressing through mind and intelligence, and ultimately to the soul. The yogic journey guides us from our periphery, the body, to the center ofour being, the soul. The aim is to integrate the variouslayers so that the inner divinity shines out as through clear glass.
Do not allow past experiences to be imprinted on your mind. Perform asanas each time with a fresh mind and with a fresh approach. If you are repeating what you did before, you are living in the memory, so you are living in the past. That means you don't want to proceed beyond the experience of the past. Retaining that memory is saying, 'Yesterday I did it like that.' When I ask, 'Is there anything new from what I did yesterday?' then there is progress. Am I going forward or am I going backward? Then you understand how to create dynamism in a static asana.
B.K.S. Iyengar
- Born: December 14, 1918
- Died: August 20, 2014
- Occupation: Teacher
- Cite this Page: Citation


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Who is Barack Obama?
This election is determining who will run the most powerful country in the world for the next four years. It cannot be decided based on a popularity contest. McCain must get people to see Obama to be the slick slimely politician that got every other competitor kicked off the ballot to become State Senator in Illnois. That was Chicago politics," said John Kass, a veteran Chicago Tribune columnist. "Knock out your opposition, challenge their petitions, destroy your enemy, right? It is how Barack Obama destroyed his enemies back in 1996 that conflicts with his message today. He may have gotten his start registering thousands of voters. But in that first race, he made sure voters had just one choice."
Obama became a community organizer in Chicago to further his political career. There is absolutly nothing wrong with that. Unless he tries to pretend like he just wanted to help the poor and the thought of running for office wasn't even on his mind. Which of course he has been doing. Bobby Rush defeated Barack Obama in the 2000 Democratic Primary for a U.S. House seat. Representative Rush, a former Black Panther, said that Obama wasn't black enough during the campaign. "The accusations were that Obama was sent here and owned by the Jews," Kindle said. "That he was here to steal the black vote and steal black land and that he was represented by the—as they were called—'the white man.' And that Obama wasn't black enough and didn't know the black experience, the black community." Also State Sen. Donne Trotter, said Obama was seen as "the white man in blackface.
Statements such as these are why Obama alligned himself with people like Rev. Wright and Father Phleger. Obama could not afford to look like he was walking away from the black community, which is exactly what leaving Trinity United would've symbolized, so he stayed in Trinity United even when he heard (in my opinion he had to hear them) the remarks about the U.S. come from the pulpit. He stayed with the church for the same reason he became a community organizer, to further his political career. Some people might consider that smart politics. Others would say that there is something severely wrong with attending a church for political reasons. I'll let you make the call on that. Whatever the reason it doesn't seem like Obama is a "different kind of politican" to me.Rev. Wright and Father Phleger were not the only controversial people Obama associated with. He also associated with William Ayers a known terrorist you as said that his group Weather Underground did not do enough during their time in operation. Another person Obama has been liked to in Tony Rezko. Obama was part of a land deal with Rezko in which his wife bought a lot next to Obama's house. This allowed the Obamas to acquire their house at a reduced price. Rezko was under indictment at the time of this transaction. Tony Rezko is now a convicted Felon. There are several others however I only have so long to live so if you interested in the other connections go to this site.
According to the National Journal Obama was the country's most liberal senator in 2007. In 2005 he was 16th most liberal and in 2006 he was 10th most liberal. In other words the closer he got to the Democratic Primary the further left he went. Although I'm not sure I'd be voting for the 16th most liberal member either that means there were 84 Senators less liberal in 2005 than Barack Obama. That was before he was even running for President! In contrast Hillary Clinton was the 16th most liberal in 2007. She also got more liberal every year going into the primaries. So it's obvious that Obama is voting based on the political conditions of the moment. He does not make decisions based on convictions like John McCain has done. I think we all know the votes I'm talking about.
After all of this I still think the most distrubing thing about Obama is his inexperience and Judgement. I guess the people he has surrounded himself with speaks to his judgement, but his inexperience is also a major problem. Even though most people (according to the early polls) thought Obama won the debate Thursday night. I think McCain should say with the "he doesn't understand" line. Maybe even throw in some comments about him being a freshman or a rookie while he's at it. Eventually that will stick in the mind of the American people. I don't want the guy who delivers the paper to become the editor of the paper overnight, and I don't want Obama to go from freshman Senator to President of the United States overnight. This is the most powerful country in the world. We need someone at the wheel who knows how to handle the ship. Perhaps someone who has been a Captain in the Navy. Everyone is entitled to the American dream, but it's something you have to work for. Obama wants it handed to him having done nothing to earn it. If Obama becomes President it would be like handing the keys to a new Ferrari to a sixteen year old kid who just got his driver's license. I will just be waiting for the crash and my only question is how much of the country will be destroyed?
Borrowered from the "The New Conservatives"


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Smart Sane Success™: Modern Business, Marketing, and Personal Growth Strategies for Small Business Owners
About This Show
What is success? And what does it really mean to be successful today? The traditional concept of "set goals, execute, achieve" success falls short in the context of a digital, distracted, hyper-connected, social, global, information overloaded world we are living in today. We need a "new success" that is more relevant and realistic. Success in the digital age is more complex, and much more holistic. It's about feeling valued and making a difference, being purposeful, creating more "time freedom", being healthy and feeling energetic, cultivating real human connection and relationships, creating meaningful experiences, and ultimately finding fulfillment. I haven't cornered the market on what it means to be successful. I just want to share what I've learned over my 20 years in business. My idea of success has completely evolved. I'm a strategist and a realist. My goal with this podcast show is to help you save time, money, energy, and pain. I've learned a ton of lessons on my journey that have cost me all of these things. On the Smart Sane Success Show™, I share my "in the trenches" insights, tips, and strategies for building a better business and becoming a better person along the way. My tips are practical, realistic, and consistent with what small business owners and entrepreneurs are facing today on their quest for achieving more meaningful success. When you subscribe to the show, you'll discover my best advice on digitizing your business and marketing, attracting your ideal clients, growing your influence, improving your mindset, becoming a better leader, overcoming today's toughest challenges, getting healthy, defeating distraction, increasing your emotional and social intelligence, and so much more!Read more »


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It's been almost a year since I've last written a post on this blog. And I feel kinda bad about it, especially because I left in the middle of the story. At the same time, I blog a lot on my other blog and the guest blogs I'm doing are keeping me busy as well.
But here's what I'm going to do. I don't know if anybody still cares but I'm going to finish In Too Deep for now and then we'll see if I'm going to retire this blog for good, or if I feel motivated to continue. Just so you know. 🙂
Filed under: Other Things | Leave a comment »


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because life, after all, is lived in little monumental moments of truth that fade away even before they are begun.. a baby's smile, fragrance of a flower, life slipping out of a body.. we live only to realize the beauty of such moments. Everything else is a form of waiting.
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
He wrote about longing and belonging, of the pain and suffering of existence, and of love.
He knew that there was a being inside Man that rode the skies with the angels, but that there was also a beast inside of him that was not yet human. And he loved all three of them.
In my days of madness, I would find refuge in the utterences of his 'Madman' and find solace. I can now see that those who understand us, enslave something in us.
In Love, I drew her to me with his words, and her gibberish made me laugh.
He taught me to be at peace with my soltitude, and I could finally come to see my place on the earth.
Cautioned me not to measure the strength of the ocean by the fraility of its foam.
He suggested that to see faces, one has to learn to look beneath the fabric that one's own eyes had woven, and behold the reality beneath. I have since come to realize that its a cruel thing to deny people of their deceptions, to try to see the man beneath the mask. I know, now, that the mask is the man.
Bread baked without love feeds but half a man's hunger, and I have tried to be brave enough that my work might indeed be love made visible.
Too bad, he didn't have armies spreading his word. The World would've been so much a better place.
12 comments:
Those sure are lines that make you think. I must read Kahlil Gibran :)ReplyDelete
welcome back after a long break !ReplyDelete
I love his 'Children'
Love his work. Such profound thinking. The world would certainly have been a better place, if only we would stop to think.ReplyDelete
Gibran's Prophet is one of my favourite books...we have to go beyond the words...we get new insights reading him each time...the oneness of the timeless, spaceless thing that is existence...a sense of immortality when we know everything is the same...that our associating ourselves with our bodies is the root of the illusion of separateness, ego...because there is something that fills everything...the same thing in you and me, in everything that had come before and that is to follow...ReplyDelete
Great to see a young man like you on this track. Be prepared for a stage of confusion when you are neither here nor there.
'The prophet'is one of my most cherished books. Time and again, I have gone back to it, read it at different phases of my life and got the strength to carry on. Indeed a great man!ReplyDelete
This one is nice... Even I am a fan of Gibran... though, as Venuji has put I may have to read him (most of his books) numerous times to get the real insights.ReplyDelete
@Destiny: If I have made you want to, am happy.ReplyDelete
@Nu: Welcome back. I do too. Trouble is, my mother does not. :-)
@RGB: Yeah. If only.ReplyDelete
@Venu sir: I think I have never quite been either here or there. But could it be that I have always been here, there, and in between? Tagore mentions the wind that makes the bamboo sing. Perhaps the song was always there in the wind and the bamboo. The beauty of it is, no one knows.
@Sujatha: Sometimes gives one the strength to fight, at other times takes the fight out of the man.ReplyDelete
By the way in your photo.. That looks like a traditional malayalee sari.
Kalpana: Hi ma'm.
May be we should spread the word..
Yah it is. I wore it for vishu this year.ReplyDelete
Gibran is also my favorite poet, in fact I just love Persian poets. Enjoyed your post.ReplyDelete
My fav quote from Gibran is : You joy is you sorrow unmasked !ReplyDelete


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This course will survey federal, state, and local laws directed toward giving extraordinary powers to each level of government to respond to catastrophic public health events whether caused by natural disasters or terror attacks. Among the issues that will be discussed are governmental powers relating to quarantine and isolation, compelled medical treatment, triaging patient care, emergency seizures of medical supplies and facilities, compelled service of medical personnel, intergovernmental emergency compacts, civil liberties concerns and court access, emergency licensing of medical personnel, altered standards of care in emergencies, deployment of military personnel to provide domestic response services, and related federalism issues.
Current & Previous Instructors:
Trudy Henson;
|518R (CRN: ) Credits: 3 cr sem
Spring, 2019 (Twilight).
Thurs: 5:25-7:25
Room 310.