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The time had come. I could not ignore the task at hand any longer. The honeybee project that Venus and I have been working on for a solid six weeks was about to come to a BUZZING conclusion.
Yes -- that's right. It was time to GET STUNG!
Actually, it was time to introduce a new colony of bees to their new, and custom, Hello Kitty beehive. I've been dreading this moment for quite some time.
WHY you ask? Do you relish the thought of being the "center of attention" in a swarm of bees? Because, that's exactly what happens when you "hive" a new colony of bees. You're the center of attention. And the invited guests are royally pissed off at some rough behavior.
Venus and I picked up our new colony of bees from Sacramento Beekeeping Supply on Saturday. Although many beekeepers had advised me that I would probably get stung during the hiving process, the fine folks at beekeeping supply reassured me that it probably wouldn't happen.
You see, I'm mortally afraid of getting stung by a bee. Come to think of it -- I'm mortally afraid of just about anything. I'm a 6'2, 300 lb. wuss in sheep's clothing. I cry when I watch Kevin Costner in Field of Dreams, or whenever I hear a good song. I'm not one of those tough guys. I'm as soft as they come. I haven't been stung by a bee since I was four or five. And the thought of getting stung now -- well -- that made me nervous.
But -- as it turns out -- the fine folks at Sacramento Beekeeping Supply were dead on RIGHT! I just didn't know it then. I do now. The Italian Honeybee is a fairly gentle creature. I know it doesn't seem that way when you're stuck in a swarm of them, but they are.
The first step in hiving a new colony? Getting dressed up in an outfit that would make any trick-or-treater proud with envy. In short, you take every possible measure to look as dorky as possible. And, in my heavy 49'er sweatshirt -- cap and faceguard -- plus gloves that extend up to the elbow -- well -- I looked as dorky as possible. It was a good 90 degrees outside during this hiving project, plus I was as nervous as a teenager on a first date with a Playboy model.
The time had come.
The bees were in that box that you see pictured to the right -- and they instinctively knew that "something was up." You could hear them buzzing lightly from time to time, but the moment I picked up that box and carried it near the hive, they just knew something was about to happen.
Placed on that box is a sprayer bottle of equal parts sugar and water. That's very helpful when you're dealing with honeybees. They're attracted to that stuff like young kids are attracted to grape snowcones. In short, they're not paying attention to the buffoon with an oversized 49'er sweatshirt on -- they're after that sugar water. Lastly came the "hive tool" and a standard smoker that I'd filled with torn up pieces of paper, dead weeds from the garden and pieces of bark.
My job was to first spray the bees with sugar water, then give the box a couple of good whacks. This would hopefully dislodge them from the lid that they were hanging on at the top of this box. At least, I thought it was a lid. It sure looks like one, right? But, upon removing it, I realized it was the top lid to some canned product that was still very full! It actually felt like a can of pumpkin or tomatoes -- and it wasn't easy to lift out.
After slapping the box a few times to dislodge the bees -- I removed the can, then place a piece of wood over the box to prevent the bees from escaping. Some do, of course, and guess what happens? You're the center of attention in a small swarm of about 15-20 bees.
"OK," I thought. I can handle that. Not a problem.
The next move? Removing the Queen from the hive of bees. The queen is placed into a smaller box -- think box of matches -- to protect her. She is relatively new to the hive. If she's added to a mix of bees too quickly, the other bees just might tear her apart. And that's death to a hive. Without the queen, it's just a box of bees that will soon disperse in search of new homes. The queen keeps them together.
I had been advised to keep that queen in her small cage after retrieving her -- which means I had to remove the wood from the hole in that box opening. I did retrive her easily enough -- a few more bees escaped, and I hung her cage against one of the many slats in the beehive. There are bees all over this boxed queen that you need to be very careful of. One wrong move and POW! You invite a stinging party.
But -- remove the queen I did. And I managed to place that cage exactly where I was supposed to place it -- and secure it as well without maiming a single bee. Keep in mind that, by this time, even though the box was covered again, I had bees all over my gloved hands, all over my 49'er sweatshirt, and buzzing all about.
But this was nothing. Nothing can prepare you for the moment of truth that was about to come. It was time to take the rest of the bees in that box -- who were terribly anxious to get out -- and introduce them to their new home.
You'd like to think that this is as simple as "Hello Mr. and Mrs. Bee, please come out and aquaint yourself with your new home and surroundings." It would be nice if the hiving process worked like that. It doesn't.
The next step was to take that box of bees -- remove the wood covering the top -- turn it upside down -- hold it over the open hive and slap it silly. Two or three good whacks was all it took for the majority of bees in that box to fall out -- and go SMACK into the bottom of the hive.
What happened next was truly the "Come to Jesus" moment in hiving a new colony of bees. That low hum of buzzing? It suddenly jumped exponentially to an excited scream of annoyed honeybees. Finally freed from their cage, they began to swarm. The pictures simply do not do any justice here. You cannot see this rather annoyed swarm of hundreds of annoyed honeybees, but trust me, they were there. And they were highly agitated.
But, this is precisely the point where you remain calm. There's work to be done. It's 90 degrees outside. You're covered up like it's the middle of winter in Montana. You've got lots of new and very agitated friends and you've got to look right back down into the innards of that hive.
It's not easy. But it had to be done.
The next step was to replace the four or five slats I'd removed from the hive several hours earlier. You'd think this would be an easy task, except the slats were leaned up against the hive. And -- as you might guess -- they were covered with agitated honeybees. But, each one had to be picked up and lifted back into the hive, taking special care not to crush any of the bees milling about on the bottom and on all sides of the hive.
I managed to do this, and put the cover of the hive back on, without much of a problem. At that point, I leaned the original box against the hive (some bees did not spill out with their brothers and sisters), picked up my tools and walked away.
Job completed. Colony of Bees hived. No bee stings. Time for a beer.
But, we're not done yet. Remember the Queen? She is still caged. At some point -- probably tomorrow night -- I will be forced to don my dorkish gear and open up that hive to get the queen out of her cage. This is, again, not an easy task. The queen will be agitated. Hopefully, the bees who have accepted her by this time, will be agitated as well.
There is only one proven way to find out if the queen has been accepted. I must open the hive back up, which will bring bees welling to the top. I must remove the queen cage, which is at the top of a slat. I must take one of the gloves off, and run my bare finger along the queen cage. If the bees covering this cage move out of the way of my finger -- the queen has been accepted. If not, I can't remove her just yet.
Should she be accepted, here comes another tricky job. There's a hole at the end of the queen cage covered with a cork. If I just remove the cork, the queen will fly away and the rest of the bees will follow her wherever she goes. She might come back to the hive. But then again, she might not. Lose the queen, and you lose the hive.
So -- one of the jobs will be to plug a small marshmellow into the hole that is currently covered with cork. And it must be done swiftly and delicately, before the queen can react to an open escape route.
Should I react quickly enough to plug up the open hole with a marshmellow, I'll place the queen cage back at it's original spot on top of a slat, and the worker bees will eat away at the sweet treat, freeing the queen from captivity and ready to take her rightful place in the hive.
But, keep in mind tht I am neither swift, nor delicate. This should be an interesting job indeed. Stay tuned for the next edition of "The Birds and their Bee Farm."
The Moment of TRUTH!!!
Monday, April 20, 2009
Posted by Bill Bird at 9:24 PM
Labels: 49'ers sweatshirt, bee swarm, dork, Hive, hiving a colony, honeybees, queen, sacrament beekeeping supply, slats
3 comments:
- Carri-The Queen Bee said...
I still think you guys need to film this. :)
- April 21, 2009 at 9:47 AM
- Bill Bird said...
Bill Bird's big behind would blot out any view Carri. Venus wanted to remove the feeder jar last night and replace it with a new one, but lost her nerve when she was inches away from the hive and getting swarmed. Removing the queen tonight will be a special experience indeed. I should sell tickets.
- April 21, 2009 at 11:55 AM
- Garry said...
i knew you would do fine - capturing a swarm or even hiving one is teh safest time to be around them - you did well.
- April 24, 2009 at 3:31 PM
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Guide: How to Make a High-Quality Audio Interconnect for Your PChardnrg -
Making The Interconnect - The Phono (RCA) End:
This end is a bit more involved as you need to split the cable to the left and right channels, prepare the cable and sort out the Y-split. Don't worry though, it's all straightforward enough.
Cut the sheathing off, but this time a longer amount as you'll be splitting the cable. Some people take the sheath off in sections, others cut the sheath lengthwise and peel it like a banana. Whichever way you do it, try not to break the shield as it carries the signal aswell. Unravel the shield from any internal insulation.
I removed the papery-cloth insulation, but kept the string. I separated the shield into two equal parts and twisted them. So I ended up with the two signal core cables, two twisted shields, and two string bundles.
You can braid three or more cables together for strength, neatness, and maintaining the shielding. If you don't know how to braid, either look it up or ask your girlfriend/sister/mother/friend.
I used some masking tape to hold the new braided sections together while sliding over a piece of heatshrink. This length of heatshrink needs to be long enough to extend up into the phono connector, but not all the way up.
Before you commit to the heatshrink, it would be a good idea to test the cable for continuity. Use a Digital MultiMeter (DMM) either set to continuity beeper, or the lowest resistance setting and check the end-to-end connection from the jack plug to the bare cables at the phono end. I measured 0.7 ohms on each signal core, and I don't remember what the shield was but it was the same or lower. Matching the resistance means you have equal signal transmission on both channels.
I used a lighter to shrink these small sections of heatshrink which is ok as they will not be seen. Using a lighter can easily end up with a sooty/charred appearance to the heatshrink. You could also use a hairdryer or heatgun. After shrinking the heatshrink, I cut some short sections of the smaller size braided sleeving and slipped that up over the heatshrinked section. I put some doubled sided tape around the heatshrink nearest the Y-split for the braiding to hold on to.
I worked the larger braiding back down over the cable, and when it was in the right position, moved it back a bit to put some double-sided tape around the cable sheathing so the larger braiding could hold on to the cable near the Y-split.
I cut some of the larger sized heatshrink and slipped it over all the sleeving.
Then I made two short sections of the medium sized heatshrink and slid that over each split piece, heatshrunk those, then slid over the large heatshrink back up over the entire Y-split and heatshrunk that. This time I used a hairdryer as these lengths of heatshrink are visible on the final cable assembly, so a clean appearance is necessary.
Remove the masking tape and measure up the cable to the phono connector, you want to end up with the sleeving inside the connector and will probably end up with only a short piece of signal cable and shield protuding. Remember to place the connector barrel over the cable before soldering! Flux and tin the cables in the same way as before. I used a scrap piece of cardboard to avoid damage to the sleeving while being held in the crocodile clips.
And then the soldering process is pretty much the same, the signal cable goes to the centre terminal, and the shield goes to the larger outer terminal. I had to apply quite a lot of heat to the shield terminal on this connector. If you have a variable heat iron, turn it up to avoid melting the plastic insulating parts of the connector.
Finish up soldering, clamp it, screw up the barrel, do the other one in the same way. Once you're done it would be a good idea to re-test the continuity from end to end using the connector tips as the measurement points.

subset: commoncrawl


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Congresswoman Giffords announced today that she will be resigning her congressional seat this week. It has been more than year since she was shot in the head and suffered traumatic brain injuries from the bullet. She has made a remarkable recovery so far, and every American wishes her Godspeed in her recovery.
She is correct, her district should have their voices heard in congress, this is the right thing to do for everyone concerned.
Best of luck to you Gabby.
In The Mailbox: 07.18.18
54 minutes ago


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Model SVA - Row Crop Fertilizer Applicator
From Fertilizer Spreader
Front device for the distribution of granular fertilizers, suitable for planters and row crop cultivators. Linked to the front three point hitch of the tractor, the tank has a capacity of 1.200 L to allow good autonomy between refills. Distribution is carried out by two volumetric metering units, activated by a 12 volt motor. This electronically-managed system, allows to regulate the quantities distributed as well as manage the start and stop functions in automatic and manual modes. The absence of the notched wheel makes it even easier to use, allowing to start fertilization at the same time as sowing. The double dispenser guarantees excellent distribution of the product also with 6 meter work planters.
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California has everything you need for an exciting outdoor team building event, from the beautiful coastline to the mountains, desert and ephemeral sunshine. So why not take advantage with some of the innovative local businesses enabling the development, bonding, and fun for all your team members.
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The Probability Lesson
Mr. Uppal and his two children are walking down the street. He meets Mr. Kore and introduces a young boy … Continue reading The Probability Lesson
alexander mathew, au naturel
Mr. Uppal and his two children are walking down the street. He meets Mr. Kore and introduces a young boy … Continue reading The Probability Lesson
February 6, 2015 2210 hours. I saw the waxing moon, and checked what time it was. It was exactly when … Continue reading the Belly Story!
It's crazy what a transition in life can do to you. Dissatisfaction burgeons on you, that you take the malevolent … Continue reading The Edge
How does it feel,
to be stuck, between two worlds?
To be a snail,
wanting to get out of its shell?
To choose between comfort and freedom?
You're confined, you can't move, even a tendon!
You've reached an island,
but it's just blue everywhere!
This, the wage for your hamartia,
is the lethal remedy of your pride;
of your ignorance,
towards that very thing,
that kept you breathing!
Continue reading "Stuck"
It was the 14th of February. I woke up inside a bucket. Or rather, I found myself in a bucket. My research on humans bore result and I finally crossed the time barrier and reached the earth. This was success, personally for me, and I had broken the old jinx. Because even though we have been studying humans, we couldn't cross over to really land on the surface. I dint even tell anybody that I had come. I dint have a choice of how I come, or where I appear. Otherwise, I wouldn't have ever chosen this smelly bucket. The bucket was the sign. Humans bathe, wear clothes. Primitive age signs I tell you. And God, humans wear so many clothes. I thank my stars (especially the five suns that we have) that I dont. We're independent that way. There was a pile of clothes on top of me when I woke up, or rather when I was transported. Good thing was that it made me unnoticeable. But I couldn't take it any longer; the smell inside the whole thing. The earthy smell of fresh rain in the clothes was mixed with a herbal acidic smell of chemicals. A strong one though. Male, works in a factory. But on his shirt, there was this flushy kind of a smell which made it obvious that he had recently bought a bouquet of red roses. Now I was interested in this guy. I peeped outside, it was a four walled sided, eight cornered room, just as I had expected. Humans dont think any further than a cubical room. Has anybody thought of a tetrahedral room? I have one, and it is out of the world.
Literally. 😀
Continue reading "'Love' in a Makeshift World"
"We need much less than we think we need."
Those are really famous words by the famous American poet, Maya Angelou, who died last year. It's really not what we want what matters, what matters is what we need. And what we think we need is not what actually what we need. Why do we all have changing goals? Isn't mankind ever satisfied with anything it does? What is the real meaning of the word, content? In Maslow's Need Chart, self actualization has the lowest priority in a human lifespan. That's why we probably never attain it.
I have seen time and again, that people in the world today are never, ever satisfied with the things they get, or the things that they are surrounded with. Be it achievements, or blessings, people dont mature enough stop and look back. And when writers like me write, they think they are in Pluto, and tell the world how different they are and that writing is all that they wanted to do. They Lie. This post, is based on, me. And how I am the most begrudging person in the world, and how I generalize, the fact that the human race in its entirety is of an unfulfilled kind. Continue reading "The Angelou Solution"
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, and all characters appearing in this blog are fictitious. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is either fictitious or used to state facts. All distortions to real facts were intended only for the purpose of entertainment, and absolutely nothing else.
I got a call early in the morning today, that the last witness in President Begin's trials has been brutally killed in Kiryat Motzkin, Haifa. His name was Professor Yaakov Keret. I rushed to the place, because stating the obvious; THE PRESIDENT WAS THE NEXT TARGET. When I reached the crime scene and saw what was in store for me, I really wished I hadn't come. The body was literally mutilated like chewed food. The forensics expert Ronit Kolirin studied the body and the blood spatter carefully, and I could see it in her face that even she was uneasy, just standing around it, let alone study it. It was just not undemanding to understand what exactly took this man's soul away. After being stabbed so many times, the professor was injected with Rloredophan on his neck, which is essentially a military grade experimental biological weapon. If injected into the blood stream, the cells undergo fission, and almost instantaneously the particles cause micro-explosions in the blood vessels which rupture the skin. So technically, it is the most painful way to die. We turned the house upside down and found no trace, no fingerprint and no evidence whatsoever. This obviously meant that whoever was doing this, knew what they were doing. They were acting fast, and wanted to squander time, our time. The note indicated that he exactly knew our moves, and the fact that we would beef up The President's security. It was astonishing how he has been one step ahead of me all the time. Continue reading "To Hitler, To the Jews (Part 2): Local Boys with a Grudge"


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Happy 2014 from my home to yours!
Sadly, it has been a full year since my last post. 2013 was a good year, for the most part. I had to make some life choices that didn't seem aligned with personal goals and dreams, but it was truly the responsible, mature thing to do and I know it was the right thing to do. I can reflect on 2013 and be proud that my family has spent a lot of time having fun together, we have had some amazing times with friends, I became a vegan (accidentally) and lost 15 pounds as a result, I added yoga into my life and a lot more exercise on a daily basis than in the past. Good stuff!
This year, however, I do intend to go boldly in the direction of my dream. That will require some very strategic planning, a lot of organizing, and a lot of saving.
I have made a few resolutions for the year.
They are as follows:
1-self care (in all the ways you can think of from taking off my make-up at night, to flossing, to rest, daily exercise, and bubble baths)
2-organizing, purging, cleanliness (getting my house back in order)
3-frugal living (trying not to buy anything unnecessary for a year)
4-face my fears of career change
5-connect with long distance family and friends on a more regular basis
6-only positivity in my thoughts, speech, action
On another note, I kept a daily gratitude journal in 2013. I wrote in it EVERY single night before turning out my light to go to bed. My life is full of blessings and things to be grateful for. To continue that good feeling, I am going to combine the Project Life idea with a gratitude journal and using supplies I already have, create a scrapbook of gratitude for the year.
I'll plan to post my pages weekly to keep me motivated!
All the best in the coming year!


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Michelle Wie at Kraft Nabisco & Tiger Woods at the Masters add drama to start Major Season
The best female golfers on the planet are having their first Major meeting of the year at the Kraft Nabisco in California and I can hear the buzz all the way across the country to the East Coast. Many stories abound with Annika Sorenstam trying once again for her announced goal of winning the women's Grand Slam. And this, while fighting off the perceived challenge from young guns Michelle Wie, Morgan Pressel and Paula Creamer. As good as these three are, it is Wie who brings the most buzz. Love her or hate her, everyone wants to see if she can jump the final hurdle and win in a tight match down the stretch. But these three and all the rest of the LPGA will have a way to go if they are going to outplay Sorenstam. Because when she is motivated and on form, there is no better female golfer in the world.
Tiger Woods started off this year wearing the leather off his shoes, he was kicking so much butt. It appeared as though he might become even more dominant than he was when he won his four straight Majors. But his father's health has taken a turn for the worse and the unshakeable Tiger concentration has finally been shook. He's been playing like a mere mortal in the Bay Hill Invitational and The Players Championship. Recently in a 60 Minutes interview, Tiger spoke at length about how his Dad, Earl Woods, was also his best friend. Quite a blow, it will be, when his Dad finally succumbs to his long illness. And what that does to the Masters is increase the likelihood of someone else putting on the green jacket. Amongst others, Retief Goosen is showing very good form of late and Ernie Els appears to be closing the gap from injured to top form again.
And while all of this is going on, my boys and I will be playing at the RTJ Golf Trail in Alabama and catching the telecasts in the late afternoon. My God, does it get any better than this?
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81 comments
It should be noted that Miss Sorenstam has a late tee off.
Did you notice the pairings?
Wie with Miyazato,
Sorenstam with Creamer.
Excellent stuff.
On the mens side, I'm glad Padraig Harrington may just be getting his game into shape, with a good start at the Bell South Classic. I'd even take a win for him there, he really could do with the ranking points. His ranking position is not near where it should be.
I too think Tiger's concentration might lack a bit too much, for him to sustain it all the way through The Masters at this point.
I think the Goosen will challenge for probably all the majors, whether he will win is another question.
I wonder if Augusta is too soon for Ernie, perhaps, a later major for him.
Monty for the Masters, having just missed 4 cuts running, the longest cut missing stretch of his professional career. Monty will win the Masters, that's just golf!
31 out, 31 in.
5 birdies on each half of the course, 10 in total.
Great round!
I thought Annika would surely come out well, but she is really struggling.
Only level after 13 holes, she could do with a decent last 5 holes of her round.
Creamer not much better at -1.
Pressel may be having a better tourney -2 after 7.
I think Wie is pretty confident at the moment, and I have a feeling she could take Ochoa if it comes down to that. Long way to go yet though.
Unfortunately I am not able to stay for the next three days which is rather a shame.
I flew in from Trinidad and Tobago yesterday and leave in the morning.
Just to set everyone straight Wie is as good as the hype. -6 on day one not bad considering she usually starts slow.
This could be the one we have been waiting for.
Alan M
In light of Annika's emergence as the dominant player in the LPGA, I wonder if Tiger would put the kibosh on their joint practices. Due to the highly competitive nature of Tiger, I wouldn't be surprised if he no longer wishes to share his golf "secrets." As of now, Tiger has a lead on majors won, 10 to Annika's 9.
On a serious note, Annika seems to be struggling right now, and may need some brush up pointers from Tiger, pronto!
I will, however, admit that I am more optomistic for Michelle Wie than I would have been if it had been Annika up there at -10, but that is not a knock on Lorena, it is merely an expression of respect for Annika. For Wie fans, Lorena seems like she would be as tough up there as anyone not named Annika.
Michelle on the other hand historically does significantly better the second day. Significantly better than today could be quite low indeed. On the other hand, she will be facing the afternoon winds which tend to plague the late starters (as it did today.)
Looking forward to seeing what happens.
...I flew in from Trinidad and Tobago yesterday and leave in the morning.
Just to set everyone straight Wie is as good as the hype....
Alan M
Good for you Alan, I hope Wie comes to East coast, I would like to see her play up close sometime.
Unfortunately it did not get much press. The problem is that most of the non-English speakingplayers and their coaches/parents don't think it's a problem; and the LPGA is trying to sidestep it due to being politically correct. The fact is that everyone looks bad when a player can't answer any questions posed by the media: the interviewer,the broadcaster, the LPGA (and its players), the ethnic community being represented by the player, the tournament directors, and the player herself. You can dress them up all you want but if the player can't communicate noone will be interested in cheering them on. And down goes the entertainment value of women's golf.
Chris Baldwin has spent quite a bit of time in the last while insulting Wie over her sparkly watch, and how she reacted when she was asked about it.
Well Chris Baldwin's own favour golfer, Paula Creamer did practically the same thing when asked about her Blackberry (personal organiser thing). She said "it's shiny" as she showed it, and the P on the back of it for Paula, and giggled. Just like Wie. She was just being a normal girl, just like Wie.
To add further insult to injury for Chris, Paula was asked about her rivalry with Annika. Paula stated that they were in 2 tournaments together this year and Annika beat her in Mexico, but Paula BEAT Annika when they played in Arizona. Yes, Paula actually said that she BEAT Annika in Arizona.
This claim by Paula backs up, us Wie Warriers, who have been rightly saying that when you place higher in a tournament than another player you have beaten them.
I am glad that Paula Creamer agrees with us Wie Warriers.
By the way, here is the web address for the Paula interview, because unlike Chris, I like to show the source of the claims:
Just click "Select Interviews Here" and scroll down to Wedneday and Paula Creamer's interview.
Ye snails and little catfish! The cut was plus 6 (It seems to me it should actually be plus 7 as there are four amateurs above the cut line and the cut is described as "top 70 professionals plus ties and amateurs" but it currently shows at 6 on the lpga website.) This course is playing way, way rough.
On #9 the dogleg shortens her first shot to the point she loses any advantage her length off the tee might give her.
On 11, the dogleg is subtle, but her normal drive would have to go over trees to a blind landing on the narrowest part of the fairway.
and 18? Fugitaboudit unless she is 1 stroke behind on Sunday...then maybe she'll go for it. But trying to get fancy on this hole is pure suicide.
So, in fact, she has capitalized on those that set up for her. And she has come close a couple of times on the ones that don't.
If Michelle can finish ahead of Annika in this tournament then she'd be up 3 to 1 in their last four meetings. Annika is the only top player with a winning record against Michelle (3-13).
Moving Day has arrived!
Hold on to your horses folks, everyone will be going for the flagsticks. Looks like we are in for a ride!
Things started off hot, then the wind started picking up (according to Weather.com) and nobody is going anywhere. Annika picked up two quick strokes and then stalled out. It looks like the course is starting to bite everybody...and you have no way to watch it for another hour and a half...
Curse, grumble, mumph.
Wind now gusting up to 28mph. Looks like we find out who can hang with the pack in bad weather.
-8 will be good enough to win this title.
John Neal,
Pressel indeed is doing better today. Guilbis is another one. Creamer is out to +6 for the round after just 11 holes. That could be quite a high score.
From what I have seen, Michelle played somewhere around her B+ game today and is still hanging in second.
Gulbis, Ahn or Lee could also catch fire and make some noise. Tomorrow should not lack for drama.
Just a devilishly hard course. Playing consistently at 2 over par.
Bivens couldn't ask for much better.
But a lot of golf to go. Nobody else is going really low, Pat Hurst is low round so far at -3 through 9. Plenty of opportunity for the course to rise up and bite either or both of the leaders.
I still think -8 will probably be good enough. I expect an Ochoa wobble at some point. Morgan Pressel could tell her that there are treble bogies out there. Paula Creamer could tell her that there are many bogies to be had, 3 in first 4 holes again for Paula.
John Neal,
Thanks for the weather report. Some of us don't even have delayed coverage of the tournament.
Paul W,
Excellent comment about the grouping of Wie, Ochoa and Guilbis.
Wie delivered, but unfortunately I was out by 1, in my prediction of the winnnig score.
If Wie had the luck of Webb, she could be a major winner. Quite often tournaments get won by just a little bit of luck at the right time, just the bounce of a golf ball.
Sigh. Wie did us Wie-warriers very proud indeed.
Magnificent recovery from disaster for Karrie Webb with a 'bit-o-luck' at just the right time and the courage to go for it in the shoot-out. I hope the young-uns had their notebooks out.
Too bad Ochoa couldn't pull off the play-off. She had a similar lie to Wie's off the 18th green (though a little farther). Wie tried wedge and Ochoa putter, both with the same result.
A hall-of-fame golfer who turned professional the year you first picked up a golf club, a former World #1 makes up 7 shots in the final round and eagles out.
You have a choice, risk it all on ending it right here, or play safe and have to face her in a shootout. If Michelle thought the wedge gave her the best chance to end it right there, then it was the champion's choice, the gutsy move...she didn't pull it off and she faced the consequences with no excuses. But it was the right choice for her.
Ochoa faced Webb in the shootout, had the same "tremendous length advantage" that Michelle supposedly had. Ochoa lost.
Still think trying to close it right there was "stupid?"
Likewise, I did not call Michelle a champion, I said she made the choice that a champion would make. She thought her best chance of victory was to close it with an eagle and walk away.
It didn't work...but I still say it was the choice that a champion would make.
Michelle has twice the game, distance, shotmaking and ability then any woman on tour, including Annika and she just seems to find a way to lose.
Actually I disagree with you there. Which of us is the Wie fan here? I think you are completely misreading Wie's ability.
She is a very good player, even at her young age, but she does not have twice the anything of Annika. In fact, Annika is still better than Michelle at nearly every aspect of the game.
John, first of all Michelle is not a champion, unless you're going to count the Jennie K. Wilson championship when she was 10.
Actually she won the US Amateur Publinx Adult tournament at 13 years of age.
Liam said:
Just for the record Michelle would have a huge advantage over Karrie in a playoff on 18 with her length and should have given herself the best chance to win, which was to get into the playoff, not try to pull off an incredibly low percentage shot.
You are again mistaking the length advantage.
Firstly, just because it is a par 5, doesn't mean Michelle has an advantage. Maybe the hole isn't set up in a way suited to her game.
Next, over the four days Wie parred that hole on each occasion. Webb had a birdie and an eagle there, and again birdied it in the playoff, so Webb certainly had the advantage there.
That is what makes Tiger Woods so amazing: he has the shotmaking, power, feel, shortgame, creativity and artistry all wrapped up in one guy and that is simply super rare: most of the time players are one dimensionsal: good long hitters, with average/poor short game; or vice versa. Michelle Wie from the early signs is a one dimensional player (shotmaker, long hitter) with average/poor short game. If this remains, she will quite simply never get to dominate the Women's game. She may have a win or two, but not at the winning rate as Annika. At this stage of her career, I would suggest her to make friends with Tiger just like Annika did; and give up the range for a while.
Norman we can talk around the issue all you like, but the fact remains that Michelle needed birdie on the final hole and should have gotten it, just like she should have made birdie on that hole all week. You are supposed to be a world-class golfer, you know in your heart that she has more game then the other women out there. She has a decided power advantage, she spins the ball like a man, and she can work the ball better then all of them, including Annika. Is her game as polished as Annika's, of course not, but you know as well as I do that she has more game.
why should Michelle have got birdie on this hole, on any day? Why shouldn't Annika have got many more birdies in the tournament, or maybe some less bogies? You are basing your comments on a bias against Michelle and not taking anyone else into account.
Wie put herself in contention to win the tournament, and most certainly did not falter down the stretch.
By contrast,
Annika was 6 shots behind her.
Morgan Pressel was 9 shots behind her.
Paula Creamer was 13 shots behind her.
All of these are extremely talented players.
Annika is a much better player than Michelle, but I don't believe you have attacked her performance.
Paula Creamer and Morgan Pressel have a disadvantage as regards length, but Morgan Pressel certainly has alot of amateur experience and success, success which we were told would bring immediate lpga success. It hasn't turned out that way.
As I learned the hard way, being an amateur champion means very little when you turn professional.
As regards Creamer, she is a proven winner on the lpga tour, having won twice last year, one of those, a very large thumping of the field at the Evian Masters. Should Paula not be performing better, than 14 shots off the lead?
I like Paula Creamer, and I think she will succeed again, and I do think she will win majors, although maybe not for another while. I am not putting down her performance in any way, because she will have many more chances. I am simply using her, as an example of the hypocricy of the anti-Wie brigade.
On your assertion, that Wie is this sort of super talented wonderwoman, who is far better than anyone else and should be beating fields easily, I simply don't buy that.
Maybe she will be that sort of player at some stage, but you need to get a grip on reality. She is 16 years old and a very talented girl, but not up to the level that you insist she is at.
Also on the winning thing, she has had very few chances to win.
She plays a very limited schedule.
In my opinion if she played 25 tournament this season, she would probably win about 4, but given that she plays one every now and again, two 3rd place finishes, and not only that, but two finishes, just 1 shot behind the leader, are amazing.
Liam over estimates Michelle a little and hc2 completely underestimates her.
hc2, decided to list some bad shots that Michelle played on the 12th and the 14th.
He failed to mention of course, her birdies on 7 and 9.
More importantly he failed to mention, that when there were 3 of them level at -7, Michelle hit a beautiful approach shot on hole 16 to give her a couple of feet for birdie.
That shot was enough to put her back in the lead, but then Karrie got lucky, with an eagle to go to -9.
Also, hc2 failed to mention that Michelle played an excellent lag putt on 17, when she was 40 feet from the hole.
Also, hc2 failed to mention that Michelle's 2nd shot on 18 was a couple of feet from being perfect and the ball would have naturally went towards the hole.
Also, hc2 failed to mention, that for Michelle's 3rd shot on 18, Ochoa had a similar shot in the playoff and she putted it, and ended up 18 feet from the hole, and missed her putt as well.
Also on the winning thing, she has had very few chances to win.
She plays a very limited schedule.
In my opinion if she played 25 tournament this season, she would probably win about 4, but given that she plays one every now and again, two 3rd place finishes, and not only that, but two finishes, just 1 shot behind the leader, are amazing."
You forgot to mention Norman that out of her limited exemptions she will infact play all of the top tournaments Women's golf has to offer. She doesn't duck the competition and tees it up with the best women golfers in the world.
Karrie played a round we have not seen from her in many years and with a little luck thrown into the mix earned the win. The youngsters are reinvigorating the game of some World Golf Hall of Fame Members. Julie and now Karrie have stepped up to the challenge and not rolled over in the end. This is great for the game.
Com'on now. You are just trying to ignore the obvious fact. Whenever Michelle has a putt with more than four feet from the hole; or has a semidifficult shot in the rough or sand, everyone shakes including Michelle, the fans and the commentarists. She is a one dimensional player and seems like will be for a long time to come. As I said earlier, if she putted average, and if she was more of a clutch player she should have won this thing by five or six shots at least. It should have been a runaway because her shotmaking is way superior than 95-99.9% of the LPGA players. She had numerous putts within 12 feet; and hardly made any of them. That goes back to what I am saying: she is extremely good in one aspect of the game, and mediocre in the other. I am just being plain objective and nothing more. The thing is putting, short game, and clutch play down the stretch is more about artistry than just mechanics; and right now Michelle is not an artist on the golf course.
Funny, I seem to recall that her competitors in the men's publinx were all praise with her short game. Same with her playing partners at last year's John Deere Classic. You don't consistently contend in majors with a one dimensional game.
I don't get it. Why are so many people critisizing Wie on the path she is taking. Some say she needs to "learn how to win", then there are some who says she needs to win on Women's tour before competing with men etc.
And what is wrong with getting multimillion $ endorsement deals ? This is a capitalism world and that is how you play the game.
It is her life and her decision to make. Don't give 'advice' to others unless being asked for...
She will not win any awards for her public speaking, she won't graduate from Stanford with a degree in astrophysics, and, despite the fervent hopes of her ardent admirers, she definitely WILL NEVER win a PGA tournament.
She may not win an award for public speaking, but she will be paid very well to speak publicly and the audience will listen to what she has to say.
She may not major in "Astrophysics", but she will earn a degree in some discipline sooner or later and perhaps later an MBA to help her manage her growing empire.
She may not win a PGA event, but she will rewrite the history of women in golf for many years in the future and leave a lot of men behind her in the field along the way.
The Prophet Alex of course was President of his local Toastmasters and high school Debate Team at sixteen.
Finishing no worse than third in the first two events she played on the LPGA tour this year is another fact.
An estimated 12 to 15 million dollars in endorsement contracts and appearance fees for the past six months is not disbuted.
A seventy-five percent increase in broadcast viewers of LPGA events she enters and an average of a thirty-five percent increase in attendance at events with Michelle in the field is well documented.
Ranking second on the World ROLEX Rankings was not an accident, but a confirmation of her talent and consistency of play.
I would say this sixteen year old is well on her way to confirming what I stated.
Now Alex what don't you understand about the statement "perhaps later"?
The NPP is reserved for the Jimmy Carters' of the World and Michelle would not qualify. She is not evil enough.
As an MBA graduate I know exactly what it takes to hold the degree Alex and it ain't Rocket Science.
Tiger Woods is married and unable to return your love for him Alex. Give it up now before your heart breaks more.
Of course I am patient enough to wait fourteen years before I compare accomplishments between players.
Do you still have your Farah poster next to the prized print of the dogs playing poker?
Wie critics hold Michelle to a different standard than Tiger at the same age. Why is that? I don't think any of you would have expected Tiger to win a Pro event at 16. Yet you (as a group) consider Michelle's accomplishments a failure because she hasn't won.
That is truly a demented form of logic to support any argument.
I look at Michelle's game and see potential for greatness in the future, while all you can see is failure in the present.
At the Fields she tied for first in greens hit in regulation and at the Kraft she was in first place alone. During her second round performance at the Sony she tied for hitting the most greens in regulation that day.
Tee to green is what keeps Michelle in her matches and then she gives it all away with her putter. That is why she pulled a wedge on the final hole of the Kraft, it was a club she had more confidence in to hole out or put it close.
Presently she is averaging two to three putts plus per round higher over the gals who win. That is eight to twelve shots she gives back to the field in every four round tournament. When Michelle can get to the 27 to 28 PPR level she will be unbeatable on the ladies tour. If she doesn't, I don't expect her to win unless the rest of the field gives it to her.
Will Michelle win on the PGA tour? It is highly unlikely for the same reason above....putting. That is what separates the good golfer from the great one.
Michelle would do well adding Dave to her team. Maybe you noticed Phil had him in tow at the Masters.
I do agree that Wie needs putting help. But it would be hard to believe that she hasn't already gotten good instruction from someone.


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Moretti has speculated that this novel [100 Years of Solitude] and others like it speak to the world system from the peripheryin ways that would be impossible if they were set in Europe or North America: they hold out the possibility of re-enchantment in our disenchanted worldThat's right, I think; and also explains much of the continuing appeal of both Fantasy and Sense-of-wonder SF. But it also exposes a fundamental problematic: because, in the terms of the novels themselves, the re-enchantment is literal (actual magic) whereas the prior disenchantment is only metaphorical. From this core imbalance all sorts of difficulties, failures and problems proceed.
Monday, 2 November 2009
Magic Realism
David Simpson wonders about the great vogue in magical realist novels; and more specifically, wonders why books mostly consumed in western cities are so often set 'in the (to us) remote corners of the undeveloped or developing world, the colours, smells and flavours are more intense, life is more meaningful and death less absolute than in the grey industrial or post-industrial landscapes of the north.' To that end he cites Moretti:
Posted by Adam Roberts Project at 02:55
1 comment:
- nnyhav said...
You may be onto something here, a trend that could overtake Mary Sue, to wit, the Sense of Wanda.
(not even hapaxlegomenal ... til now)
- 3 November 2009 at 18:09:00 GMT-8
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text:
This week is Spring Break for many in the world of academia, which means none of those annoying students around. And with nothing to do this morning, I decided to partake of a caffeine beverage at the local café. There I fortuitously came across a discarded copy of the New York Times. O frabjous day! A special treat to those of us without a major newspaper, to say the least. As I plodded my way through all the liberal bias and hidden socialist agenda, I eventually made it to the arts section, of which the New York Times writers rarely disappoint.
There are, of course, different approaches to writing a music critique. Review the performance, review the music, provide a play-by-play summary of the evening, or an editorial style commentary of the evening -- it's all good.
For the Flux Quartet's performance in the Bargemusic Here and Now series, Vivien Schweitzer decided the best approach was to introduce the mostly unfamiliar works to the reader subtly punctuated by a summation of her overall thoughts of the success of the piece.
Let me highlight my favorite part. (Read the full article here.)
Elliott Sharp's "Tessellation Row" (1984) uses the Fibonacci series (in which the first two numbers are 0 and 1 and each subsequent number is the sum of the previous two) to generate rhythms, forms and tunings.
Interesting. It's certainly not a new idea to use mathematical constructs as the basis of a musical composition, but the results are almost never the same so I tend to be open-minded.
A nice introduction to the piece. What else?
Pitches are played on open strings tuned to different ratios relating to the series.
See, this sounds pretty cool. Instead of using the mathematical series to determine pitch (which is so often the result), Sharp has in essence created his own tuning system. Very cool.
So, speaking as an audience member, how did it sound?
Aggressive outbursts were tempered with occasional moments of respite.
Okay. A rather generic statement, but fine. What else?
For the most part the cacophonous work sounded like something that might be used to torture prisoners.
Excuse me? Come again. Baking powder? Music for torturing prisoners?!
Are you sure?
Which actually begs the question...what is music used for torturing prisoners?
[Emails Dick Cheney...no response. Checks the internets...success!]
So, it sounded like Eminem's song "The Real Slim Shady"?
That does sound awful. Thanks for the warning. Your well-reasoned and fully substantiated critique has surely saved many innocent music lovers from this dreadful concert (seeing as most of us prefer not to be tortured) or ever trying to listen to Elliott Sharp's music!
What a service! Thanks, Vivien.
In case you're interested and don't want to read the whole article, here's Ms. Schweitzer's concert scorecard:
Annie Gosfield, Lighthearted and Heavyhearted -- Loved it!
Giacinto Scelsi, String Quartet No. 5 -- Hated it!
Elliott Sharp, Tessellation Row -- Hated it!
David First, Elegies for the Afterland -- Strangely no opinion given...I guess it was the result of the "hypnotic, trance-inducing mood"
Conlon Nancarrow, String Quartet No. 1 -- Nancarrow later wrote for the player piano
Webern, Six Bagatelles -- "Provided a striking contrast" (e.g. better than most of the crap on this concert)


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Sleuthed up from the interwebs by my partner in crime Fernando "Jar-Jar" Rizo:
Auto Tuning from Casey D on Vimeo.
I can't think of any other music gimmick that has become as ubiquitously hilarious as the Auto Tune vocoder effect, which is doubly awesome because I can only assume that it's initial adoption was a more or less serious artistic decision. Yet for some reason, jokes about Auto Tune and incongruous uses of it, like the video above, have become fairly ubiquitous on the interwebs. What is it about Auto Tune that is so endlessly a) appealing to R&B artists and b) useful for creating lulz?
Is there an answer to this question? Or is it enough to simply say that Auto Tune is the Comic Sans of the music world?


text:
Feb 19, 2007
The other day I was riding on the subway. I noticed a muslim girl wearing a Hijab or headscarf. It was black. When we exited the train together, I noticed that in dark grey were Calvin Klein logos all over here Hijab. I was a bit stunned by that. Is that allowed? Who knows. It got me thinking about religion and commercialism. I read a story a few years ago about an orthodox jewish grandmother in brooklyn who was making really cool yamikas. She was putting nike logos on them and they were selling like hot cakes. Not exactly what the rabbi had in mind I'm sure. I wonder why marketers themselves haven't tried to go down this shameless path. I was thinking about baseball stadiums that are all named after corporations now. What if churches and synagogues started licensing the rights to name their holy places. Instead of St. Patrick's cathedral it could be Citibank Church. Maybe even pop in an ATM or two or better yet a food concession. Maybe grab a cup of dunkin donut's coffee and a big mac while listening to your priest or rabbi drone on.
11 comments:
Thought about this topic when I was in Yosemite National Park - beautiful place to all of you who haven't been there (look it up on Flickr) - I was surprised that lookout points or trails up to the peaks weren't sponsored by corporations. I'm glad they aren't, but I am very surprised that since we allow Coca-Cola, Pepsi and Snapple to set up vending machines INSIDE schools that anything remains somewhat sacred in this country (and world). Why wouldn't Kodak or Nikon put up signs where millions of people clamor to take pictures? Has nobody thought of this yet? Who in Congress would vote down millions in naming rights at our National Parks? - Keith
- FerdinandKreozot said...
I thought about it myself and
on the other hand, why deprave Muslim people of wearing designer Burquas and stuff?
Also, why not let their outfits influence western fashion the right way?
Imagine a girl in a skimpy tank top, micro Skirt and a platform heels wearing head-covering thingy?
Eventually, that would become point of mystery and no one would care about T&A any more, everyone would like to see the eyes and lips, and censors would flip out. There would be all these rules about half a nose showing or Angry letters to editors for pupil exposure :)
Cool stuff!
Cheers to you,
I'm kinda suprised that churches haven't taken to neon signs...
On the manhole thing, check out a book by Robert Melnick... yep, all about manholes...
- Tommy Kane said...
I Some very interesting and funny thoughts. Milenko is on to something. Maybe Donna Karen will come out with some head thingys.
- Ana Banana said...
This reminds me of the man who was selling the advertising space on his forehead to the highest bidder on Ebay! A company called, SnoreStop, paid him $37,375 for the privilege!
Corporations are out of control. The advertising industry just takes advantage of that fact.
Nice sketch, by the way.
Tom, its weird you see the scarf the girl was wearing as a piece of religious cloth and somewhat sacred?. Its not, its just a piece of cloth. Covering her head is a religious act, but whichever cloth she chooses to use is not an issue, branded cloth or otherwise. A scarf is just another piece of clothing, be it a shirt or a pair of trousers. The same thing with places of worship, where muslims pray does not necessarily make the place sacred, but the act of praying is a religious act. Muslims can pray everywhere...even in a parking lot with a huge Pepsi billboard on the side.
- Felicity said...
In Kuwait, and probably other countries, the ladies are required to cover their hair, their arms and their legs for modesty but that is not compulsory and it's a lot more relaxed in recent years. It's a myth that they are forced to, and I can understand how they feel about the pressure in the West to take them off if they are used to it. Designer wear is big in the Middle East and there are all sorts of ways around it while still covering up. Like wearing long sleeves and jeans but keeping the designer scarf, match the extremely tight figure hugging clothes! (But with something, perhaps a mini skirt or long top, from revealing too much) You'd be surprised how sexy these ladies can look and yet stick to the 'rules'! The more old fashioned ones wear either looser clothes or cover up completely. I heard from one lady that the scarf is actually a fashion statement now, even amongst those that don't normally wear them. Woman in the ME are not the helpless victims the West likes to make out they are. It's a matter of pride or dignity, not repression.
Sorry to sound so serious today!
- Tommy Kane said...
You learn something new every day.
- Ana Banana said...
It is a symbolic sign of the times, Hami, that corporations are making themselves obnoxiously present in a lot of our public institutions, along streets and highways everywhere, in the media (movies, radio, internet, etc.), and on the personal items that we buy, whether it be a pair of pants or a scarf. And even though people of ALL religions can pray anywhere, even underneath a Pepsi billlboard, it is an offensive juxtaposition for some since it smells of commercialism -- the few making millions off of the many! The woman who is praying underneath that Pepsi billboard might be the same woman who is working in a factory in Jakarta hoping to make enough with her $3 of pay per day to feed her hungry children. Meanwhile, the executives at Nike are living the good life here in USA making millions!
- FerdinandKreozot said...
Yeeah... Filthy corporations.
its not really a big deal


text:
The following question was submitted to John Roska, an attorney/writer whose weekly newspaper column, "The Law Q&A," ran in the Champaign News Gazette.
I want to know what's required to graduate from high school in Illinois? Where can I find that information?
The state sets bare minimums for the type and number of courses students must pass to graduate. Schools are free to increase the requirements. It's possible, but probably unlikely, for a local school to require more than the state's minimum.
The Illinois School Code is located at Act 5 of Chapter 105 of the Illinois Compiled Statutes. Article 27 of the School Code covers "Courses of Study."
Drilling down to Section 27-22 finally gets you to "Required High School Courses." There, you'll find what Illinois law requires for graduation: 4 years of language arts; 3 years of math; 2 years each of social studies, science, and "writing intensive courses"; and 1 year "chosen from" music, art, foreign language, or vocational education.
One year of math must be Algebra I, and another must "include geometry content." A year of the intensive writing course must be in English; another year could be in some other subject.
That's a total of 12 year-long academic classes specifically required to graduate.
Elsewhere, the law requires all public school students to take daily P.E. (You can be excused from P.E. for being on an athletic team or in marching band, and to take a class needed to get into the college of your choice, or a class needed to graduate.)
So, that's 16 units of required classes in high school. That's what the regulations say is the minimum number of units required to graduate.
But, regulations buried beneath the law also require a semester of health education and a half-semester of consumer education. If those aren't somehow included in other courses, they add another .75 units of required classes, for a total of 16.75 required units.
The law also says "every public school teacher shall teach character education," but doesn't set specific requirements.
The law breaks down the class subject requirements a little bit. One year of math could be an advanced placement computer science course. One year of social studies must be American history or a combination of American history and government. One semester of social studies must be on civics.
The only test* a student must pass for a high school diploma is one on "American patriotism, the principles of representative government, . . . and the proper use and display of the American flag."
Nothing clearly says how long a class must last each day to count as a class that counts towards graduation. The lengthy provisions on how to figure a school day for funding purposes hint that 40 minutes is a "class hour." That's different from a "clock hour," of which 5 are required to make a full day for attendance purposes.
Schools must have "on file . . . a description of all course offerings that may comply with the requirements of the law." Schools must also provide parents with "timely and periodic information concerning graduation requirements," especially if your kid's graduation "may be in question."
*Note: Illinois also requires that all high school students take a statewide assessment (test). Starting in the 2016-2017 school year, the SAT with the essay is the required statewide test in Illinois high schools. All public school students enrolled in grade 11 will take the SAT or the DLM-AA, an alternate test for students with significant cognitive disabilities. See details about accommodations for students with documented disabilities here.
Updated: February 2018


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Winner of the Guardian First Book Award 2004
|Add caption
This is a book about Siamese twins, people with extra digits, cyclops, dwarves, hermaphrodites, giants, and a pig with two faces. It was accompanied by a Channel 4 documentary when first published. Already you might have formed some impression of this book, but you might be surprised to learn it is a sensitive book that doesn't treat its subject matter like carnival freaks—though many of the characters in the book were in carnivals. Instead, the book deals with dignity with its themes to show how important mutations are for all of us. In Leroi's words, "We are all mutants. But some of us are more mutant than others." In fact, you probably have about 100 mutations that were not given to you by your parents. But which ones did you get?


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Kendall and Kylie Jenner may have gotten in on the Style Fashion Week fun a couple nights ago—but they didn't do anything they weren't supposed to be doing, according to mother Kris Jenner.
Rumors that her teenage daughters were out partying at an over-21 club on Tuesday are just the result of a "big misunderstanding," Kris exclusively tells E! News.
They had attended the Day by Day show with Scott Disick (the one they weren't flipped off at) and were told by show organizers that the official afterparty was being held at Vignette Lounge in West Hollywood, Kris explains.


text:
Enter the world geared toward the middle grade child. They range from a step above picture books to just below young adult. Some are more graphic novel in nature. All are meant for kids and the young-at-heart.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Review of 'Pranklopedia: The Funniest, Grossest, Craziest, Not Mean Pranks on the Planet!' by Julie Winterbottom
Every day is April Fools' Day. Pure heaven for the prankster, Pranklopedia is as indispensable a compilation of pranks as Jokelopedia is a collection of jokes.
Written by longtime Nickelodeon Magazine editor in chief Julie Winterbottom, Pranklopedia is a complete prank encyclopedia. It includes over 70 pranks, with step-by-step directions; a full-color, sixteen-page insert of supplementary materials, including "tasty" soup can labels (mmm, Cream of Sparrow Soup!) and a "winning" lottery ticket; recipes for such essential prank-stuff as fake snot, fake vomit, fake ice cream; tips on how to pull the perfect prank; profiles of famous pranks and pranksters; even a prank woven right into the book—spot the fake entries in the Prankster Hall of Fame.
As for the pranks themselves—they're priceless. Classics like short sheeting the bed and the dancing dollar. There's the crude—mouse turds in ice—and really crude—make fake, edible dog poop. And there are pranks especially good to pull on your parents— deliver the "Take Your Teacher Home Day" letter from school and watch them freak out.
One word of caution: Use common sense in deciding how often to use Pranklopedia, or you might find yourself looking for a new place to live.
**My thoughts**
At first, I was hesitant about this book. The teacher in me worried that kids would take advantage of doing cruel things to each other. But then I started reading and found an enjoyable book of relatively harmless pranks that would be a lot of fun, even for adults to try on each other.
I applaud Julie Winterbottom for taking time at the beginning of the book to explain how to execute a prank, how to tell when someone is going to be open and not so open to a prank, and most importantly, how to apologize should a prank go wrong. It is always hit or miss whether or not a prank is going to work on someone! She also labels the ones that pranksters should be prepared to clean up after they are done, as well as those that will require adult assistance for safety.
Another thing I really liked about this book is how she snuck in some history with it. Learn about the history of April Fool's Day, or more about Benjamin Franklin and Presidential Pranksters, as well as some classic pranks over time. I think my favorites are the prank art pieces. Then, there is that subtle art of practicing the alphabet and using references, as entries are arranged in alphabetical order, just like in an encyclopedia.
So many of these pranks are appealing to me. I use a variation of the one about colds with my young students, to emphasize how germs can easily spread. I kind of want to try one in which you thread a banana so that when someone unpeels it, it is already sliced. I think that would be fun to surprise them. One about putting whipped cream in a bag of potato chips to trick someone who is always eating your food could come in handy in the staff room. A fake computer screen would be priceless to use in the computer lab. The comic strip introductions to how the prank works that follow most of them are also great fun. They include both boys and girls carrying out the pranks. So yes, adults could have fun with these, too!
Just keep in mind that if you buy this book for one of your own kids, you will fall victim to many of the pranks inside. If you give this book to a family or friend's kid, you may not hear from them for a while. But most of all, remember that this book will provide hours of entertainment for someone, even yourself!
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Review of 'Lighting Our World: A Year of Celebrations'
DescriptionThroughout the year and around the globe, people use light -- candles, bonfires, lanterns and fireworks -- to celebrate special occasions. This richly illustrated book is an illuminating tour of the world's brightest and warmest festivities.
**My thoughts**
As a Montessori teacher, I really like this book! In December, we often have Festivals of Light, to celebrate the four major holidays. But celebrations using light occur all throughout the year. This book is a great resource for the teacher who is looking for more cultural studies to include. It's also great for the elementary-aged student who is researching them. Most of the commonly known celebrations are included, with a few that I have never heard of before.
Each festival is introduced by a kid who lives in that country, with a brief description of it. Every month and most continents are represented. The brief intros may encourage kids to research those that pique their interest. There isn't enough information to provide a full template for creating your own celebration.
Illustrations are full of color and excitement to represent each culture and celebration. It makes for a good addition to a kid's library.
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Buy links: Amazon \ Barnes & Noble
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Review of 'How Do Hang Gliders Work?' by Jennifer Boothroyd
DescriptionWould you want to swoop through the air like a bird? Riding a hang glider is a fun way to fly. But a hang glider has no motor. How does the pilot take off? How does the hang glider stay in the air? Learn the answers in this book!
**My thoughts**
Spice up your studies of transportation with an uncommon one - the hang glider. It is a form of transportation, though definitely a nontraditional one. This simple reader explains what kind of aircraft the hang glider is, its parts, and how it works. It also touches on safety. Each page has a striking photograph with just a few sentences explaining it. Young readers will be able to independently enjoy it, while nonreaders will appreciate having it read to them.
At the end, there is a review diagram of the parts of the glider, fun facts, a glossary, and sources for further reading. I enjoyed reading it and learned something new. Kids are going to love learning about a new way to have an adventure.
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Buy links: Amazon \ Barnes & Noble \ Lerner Books
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Review of 'Meaty Main Dishes (You Are the Chef!)' by Jennifer S. Larson
DescriptionWant to treat your family to some meaty home-cooked meals? You can be the chef with these easy-to-follow recipes for Asian shrimp stir fry, juicy chicken drumsticks, taco meatballs, and other tasty dishes. You'll find simple drawings of important steps as well as photographs of the finished dishes. This book also provides key information, such as an equipment list, a technique list, safety tips, notes on special ingredients, and more. What are you waiting for? It's time to get cooking!
**My thoughts**
I would have loved to have had a book like this when I was a kid! The photographs by Brie Cohen make your mouth water as you flip through the cookbook. I even want to make some of these recipes for myself and my loved ones!
I adore the safety tips that are given in the beginning of the book (such as tie back long hair) and the frequency with which Larson reminds children to wash their hands. She tells them in the beginning of the book how important it is to wash your hands before beginning and after handling raw meat, as well as having it be one of the steps written in the preparation of the meals. Kids are notorious for constantly "forgetting" to wash their hands!
I also really like the definitions of cooking terms and tips for measuring that are found right in the beginning. Most of the recipes also include more cooking tips and variations. The back of the book further defines a few of the "special ingredients" used in some of the recipes, as well as resources for more reading and fun websites.
Many of the recipes are easily done without adult supervision. Those that involve actually cooking on the stovetop or in the oven should definitely include an adult popping in here and there. Parents could go through the book with their kids to determine which ones are okay for them to make on their own.
I wish that the page with the cooking tools actually used real photographs. The rest of the book has stunning photographs. I can figure out what most of the pictures are supposed to be, but photographs would make them that much easier for a kid to identify in his or her own kitchen.
I think this book would make for a good addition to a kid's personal library, or even as a classroom cookbook for community lunches. This book has been kid-tested and approved!
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Buy links: Amazon \ Barnes & Noble \ Lerner
Monday, March 18, 2013
Review of 'Profiles #5: The Vietnam War' by Daniel Polansky
DescriptionIt takes more than one person to bring about War. This book will follow the lives of six key players during one of the most controversial wars in history.
Profiles is so much more than just your typical biography. The next book in our six-in-one, full-color bio series will focus on the five W's of the Vietnam War--who, what, where, when, and why. Kids will learn all of the biographical information they need to know (background, family, education, accomplishments, etc.) about: Ho Chi Minh (prime minister of Democratic Republic of Vietnam) John F. Kennedy (US president 1961-1963), Lyndon B. Johnson (US president (1963-1969), Ngo Dinh Diem (president of South Vietnam), Henry Kissinger (US National security advisor), and William Westmoreland (US army general). This book will help illuminate one of the most controversial wars in American history for a new generation of readers.
**My thoughts**
When I was in school, the Vietnam War had been over for several years, yet no one talked about it. It was like a passing mention in a textbook. This book serves to teach the next generation more about what shaped those that came before them and to what so much media refers in our current conflicts.
The book focuses on six men who were instrumental in the conflict, each with approximately the same number of pages of information given to each one. Each one of them had a different role in the war and different reasons for their participation. Each one had different opinions of the conflict. By presenting all six of them, this book allows for a broader and more balanced look at the controversial war.
Each man's personal history, as it relates to the conflict, is given in his biographical sketch. Political reasoning and maneuvering, and military tactics are both discussed. I felt like I learned a lot from reading this book, that I had missed out on when taking history classes at a younger age.
The only thing that caught my eye was impeachment being defined as "the process by which Congress removes the president from office" when discussing Henry Kissinger and Richard Nixon. Impeachment is actually the process of bringing formal charges against someone in public office, such as the President, but not necessarily removing them from office. Removal from office can result from impeachment, though. A recent example is President Clinton, who was impeached, charged and put on trial for misconduct, but was not removed from office. This stuck out to me, because I remember having this discussion in our limited coverage of the Vietnam War in high school. I also double-checked the definition at Dictionary.com and other sources.
The end of the book also includes a brief timeline outlining the major events of the conflict, a glossary of terms used throughout, and a bibliography for future reference.
I think this book would be appropriate for middle grades through adult, as one reference for studies of the Vietnam War.
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Buy links: Amazon \ Barnes & Noble
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Review of 'Figuring Out Fossils' by Sally M. Walker
DescriptionFossils give us a window to the past. Water, sediments, and pressure work together over time to preserve the shape of things that lived long ago. Studying these ancient plants and animals tells us more about our own existence. Have you ever searched for fossils? Unearth some in this book.
**My thoughts**
The book is divided into short chapters, each of which answers a particular question about fossils. Real photographs help to illustrate the explanations that are given. Only a few sentences are on each page, which allows for a clean and simple read.
Terms are clearly defined within the book, leaving little room for confusion. There is also a glossary in the back. I felt like a lot of information was given in the book, and done so in a way that will be easy for young readers to understand. I definitely prefer the real photographs, so that children can better understand what fossils look like in real life. Young paleontologists will be inspired to start their own fossil hunts!
What I love about this series is that there are recommended books and websites at the back of the book, to give direction to those kids who are sure to want to learn even more. I would recommend this book for kindergarten/first grade and up.
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Buy links: Amazon \ Barnes & Noble \ Lerner
Saturday, March 16, 2013
Review of 'Dessert Designer' by Dana Meachen Rau
DescriptionTurn your boring desserts into fantastic works of food art. Learn to make cupcakes into bunnies or candies into shining stars. The best part of this book is learning it's OK to play with your food!
For ages 9-13.
* Step-by-step instructions to create each project
* Cool projects! No baking required!
* Photos enhance the projects and appeal to readers of all ages
* In line with the popular food styling trend
* Great family activity
Advance Praise
"Dessert Designer is filled with sweet, creative ideas that are doable, even for the novice designer—and kids, too."
-Rebecca French, author Sweet Home cookbook and sweet-home.com
-Rebecca French, author Sweet Home cookbook and sweet-home.com
**My Thoughts**
Creative cooking and baking is all the rage right now. Just turn on any food-related network and even some other mainstream channels. You can even find cooking shows playing alongside sports events in restaurants. This book helps even the youngest bakers and designers get involved in the current trends.
I love the gorgeous photography used to illustrate the book. I don't know that my own creations would ever look quite as good, but the pictures make you want to try your very best!
The Decorator's Toolbox is a great page. The photograph looks much like a real kitchen drawer or box would and helps you to identify what all of the tools are. You can go shopping with your parents to get anything that is missing. Maybe you can even get your own drawer in the kitchen, or your own dessert designs plastic box in which you can store your things.
The cupcake decorations appear to be the easiest and would require less adult supervision. The candies and the cakes are definitely much more complicated and will probably require some help. These creations would be perfect to make ahead of time for a party or other special event. Slumber parties just got more exciting, too, as you could plan to make these desserts with your friends! I am dying to try the rabbit cupcakes for Easter. I think I want to make the Polka Dot Presents for my next birthday cake.
As with any cooking project that you are sharing with friends and family, be aware of everyone's food allergies and/or sensitivities prior to creating and presenting them. Some modifications could possibly be made for some of those.
I received an eARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Buy links: Amazon \ Capstone Young Readers
About the Author:
Dana Meachen Rau writes about many topics, including food! When she's not writing, she's being creative in other ways - especially in the kitchen. Sometimes she follows recipes, but other times she experiments with new flavors. And she doesn't need a special occasion to whip up a special dessert for her friends and family in Burlington, Connecticut.
Visit her website: http://www.danameachenrau.com/
Monday, March 11, 2013
Review of 'Hoop Genius: How a Desperate Teacher and a Rowdy Gym Class Invented Basketball'
DescriptionTaking over a rowdy gym class right before winter vacation is not something James Naismith wants to do at all. The last two teachers of this class quit in frustration. The students—a bunch of energetic young men—are bored with all the regular games and activities. Naismith needs something new, exciting, and fast to keep the class happy—or someone's going to get hurt. Saving this class is going to take a genius. Discover the true story of how Naismith invented basketball in 1891 at a school in Springfield, Massachusetts.
**My thoughts**
I enjoyed reading this book, because I never really knew the history behind the game of basketball. I knew it had originally been played with peach baskets and was invented by a teacher. I was amused at how this book shows the innovation of a teacher who is desperate to corral a bunch of rowdy students, especially because I am a teacher. I also liked how it demonstrated the trial and error involved in creating the game. I think it is important for kids to realize that great things don't necessarily happen without a lot of experimentation and perseverance until you get it right.
The illustrations amused me, as they are reminiscent of an older style of drawing. I got a kick out of how the players become increasingly injured as the story goes on, as Naismith kept trying out new ideas. The history buff in me loves seeing the original typewritten rules, as well. While it mentions how basketball evolved to the sport that it is today, it doesn't dwell on the current game. Some may think of this as a downfall. I like that it stays true to its title. Interested children may be inspired to research more about it.
I think this book will appeal to kids in kindergarten or lower elementary and up.
I received a review copy in exchange for my honest thoughts and opinions.
Buy links: Amazon \ Barnes & Noble \ Lerner Publishing
Review of 'Tillie Pierce: Teen Eyewitness to the Battle of Gettysburg' by Tanya Anderson
DescriptionImagine being fifteen years old, facing the bloodiest battle ever to take place on U.S. soil: the Battle of Gettysburg. In July 1863, this is exactly what happened to Tillie Pierce, a normal teenager who became an unlikely heroine of the Civil War (1861-1865). Tillie and other women and girls like her found themselves trapped during this critical three-day battle in southern Pennsylvania. Without training, but with enormous courage and compassion, Tillie and other Gettysburg citizens helped save the lives of countless wounded Union and Confederate soldiers.
In gripping prose, Tillie Pierce: Teen Eyewitness to the of Battle Gettysburg takes readers behind the scenes. And through Tillie's own words, the story of one of the Civil War's most famous battles comes alive.
**My thoughts**
What I loved about this book... I love the real photographs. The Civil War was the first major event that was photographed, thanks in part to Matthew Brady. It was the first time that we saw a true picture of the devastation of war. The Civil War has always felt the most real to me because of that. These pictures are amazing.
I love that Tillie's real words are used throughout the book. Tanya explains the history and then uses Tillie's comments to further illustrate what she is saying. Real eyewitness accounts are significantly more powerful than someone else's interpretations. The fact that these are the observations of a teenager should speak to younger readers, as Tillie is more of one of their peers telling the story. I have visited Gettysburg and have tried to imagine what it was like. Reading her descriptions and feelings, in conjunction with the pictures, brings it more to life as a real event.
I do wish that more of Tillie's words would have been in the book. I think I need to actually find her book and read it to fulfill that desire, though. When I originally read the description, I thought it was going to mostly be Tillie, with a little commentary thrown in. Instead, it was the other way around.
Another aspect of this book that I appreciated was the section at the end that gives follow-up activities and further reading and research that kids can do.
With the amount of reading in this 100-page book and the language used, I would recommend it for middle grades and above. Adults looking for a quick read about the Civil War may also enjoy it.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
'Healthy Me!' by Cherrie Dejolde Bautista Release Day Party!
The giveaway runs from March 9th to March 14th and is international.
Healthy Me! is a book of healthy affirmations for little stars. Written to promote positive self talk to kids, Healthy Me! encourages children to have a healthy lifestyle --- physically, mentally, and emotionally. This book is full of positive affirmations that focuses on taking care of one's self while having fun doing it!
Don't forget to check the end for your Bonus Gift to see how you can download a free ebook, you and your family will enjoy!
Book Excerpt
I like to stay healthy,
take care of myself.
I respect my self-image.
I'm proud of my health.
Author Bio
Cherrie Dejolde Bautista is a Certified Empowerment Coach committed to help everyone reach their fullest potential and be the best they can be. Having a technical background who worked as an Analyst/Computer Programmer, she pursued and became certified as an Empowerment Coach in her quest to understand how she can become the best parent for her kids. She realized that in order to raise her kids to be healthy, responsible, confident and successful individuals with a lot of respect for themselves, their family, other people, and life, she needs to empower herself not only to be the best parent, but also to reach her own fullest potential and be the best individual she can be. Being a good role model is the most effective way of teaching, influencing, and nurturing her kids. She teaches her children how to live by letting them watch her do it.
Win one of 5 Kindle eBook copies of Healthy Me! The giveaway runs from March 9th to March 14th and is international.
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text:
Books worth noting (one free)
John McIntyre notes on his blog that you should rush over to Grant Barrett's "The Lexicographer's Rules," where he has made a free PDF download of his book The Official Dictonary of Unofficial English available.
John also points out a new book by Patricia T. O'Conner and Stewart Kellerman that, as he says, "you ought to keep in mind if you are serious about writing and editing": Origin of the Specious: Myths and Misconceptions of the English Language.
As John writes:
They advise that it's time to give up the struggle over gauntlet and gantlet, data as a singular, decimate as strictly meaning a tenth (though not as equivalent of destroyed), beg the question as solely a term of logic, hopefully as a sentence adverb, bemused as meaning only muddled or confused. I share their regret over the last count, but, you know, it is more important to be understood than to be correct.Like John, I share the regret over bemused and, in addition, over beg the question. I think they still have some use, and there are good alternatives. But I certainly agree with the others. I've argued that AP needs to re-examine gantlet and gauntlet because two of the three major dictionaries, M-W and American Heritage, already accept gauntlet as the main noun. It's only Webster's New World 4, the most conservative of the dictionaries, that clings to the distinction. Now, that's the dictionary AP uses, but there are times to throw in the towel. (The AP also should re-examine the stanch/staunch pair. Again, I say this regretfully, but look and you'll find staunch clearly listed as a verb in the major references.)
Anyhow, I'll be ordering my copy from Amazon tonight.
Labels: books, copy editing, language, usage