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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63967168617352361992018-05-27T21:13:41.548-04:00Fueled By LoveLooking up: our family's journey with Breast CancerFueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-74819916333480241672011-03-14T12:01:00.001-04:002011-03-14T14:51:54.251-04:00Think SpringBelieve it or not it is just around the corner. We Central New Yorker's know to never trust that early thaw, we smile and think, oh this is nice, but deep down inside we feel the threat of another blizzard or freezing rain storm. Spring...not only a welcome change in the seasons but a symbol of new beginnings, life, growth, and change. I really cannot think of a better time for me to finish up my chemo treatments really.

I have been looking forward to finishing up some home improvement projects (or I have been looking forward to other people finishing them) but we need the warm spring weather. Even though once again fall was crazy (diagnosis time) and I didn't plant bulbs....again...I cannot wait to see the beautiful crocuses and tulips poking up from the barely thawed ground in their brilliance promising that the gray doesn't last forever. I am thankful for my neighbors who have planted bulbs! Needless to say I am so excited for spring. I can already smell the fresh air blowing off the last remains of snow spots in the yard and fresh mud. I can hear the kids squealing with delight on the first real "warm" day that allows them to swing with the wind blowing in their faces on the first good warm outside day of the season. I cannot wait to get an early spring garden in since the beds are all ready from last year. I look forward to having play dates with good friends that allow us to sit and relax and watch the kids run.

About a month or so ago at our women's bible study meeting our coordinator gave a great talk about being stuck in the throws of winter and how that can get us down. She talked about how we literally need sunlight to stave off anxiety, depression, and fight disease (lack of vitamin D and B12 are linked to cancer). Fresh air and sunlight are quite literally necessary to live a good healthy life. She concluded by demonstrating that this is another metaphor that God uses between His creation and our spiritual life. We need "Son" light to get through the darkest days of winter in our lives. There have been so many times where doubt and fear have come at me in this and so many trials in our lives. God just asks us to depend on his care to get us through that time. When we allow his light to come in, He purifies us and makes us new. Only He can melt away the hard gray ice in our lives. Only He can bring the new beginning we have been looking for. Get ready to breathe in the fresh air of spring and celebrate change and renewal. I know I am ready!!
Here is a great link to an article about sunshine and cancer. Very good read!
http://www.alsearsmd.com/the-sun-is-your-sunscreen/Fueled by Lovehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-49865888889080292542011-03-07T14:16:00.001-05:002011-03-07T14:53:32.139-05:00MotivationI think you all remember back in the day when I was posting about my wellness regime and the wonderful concoction I was drinking for breakfast...I say "was" because I have been SO off the wagon. I have been taking my supplements but could NOT stomach the green drink after chemo. It is not that I have had nausea, because I haven't, but things do not taste the same the first 10 days after treatment and when I get out of the habit it is really hard to get back on track. I am proud to announce the new and improved "while I am on chemo green drink" It is my green drink powder and tart cherry juice (which is very good for you for lots of reasons). Why didn't I try this earlier? I did get my garlic in with my seared spinach though :-) The drink was so much easier to stomach and I am getting all of that green goodness too!

I have read a couple of non-traditional wellness books that I was really excited about, but the problem is that they are so different and contradict each other so much that I was really frustrated. I have been eating well, it is just that I have added some unhealthy things to the mix (if anyone is friends with me on Facebook I am sure you remember some statuses that had to do with Reeces PB Cups and ice cream). It is really hard, especially since the junk is the only thing that tastes normal right after treatment. I am currently "trying" to give up dairy, wheat, processed foods, sugar, and then there is a whole other list of foods that are considered "healthy" by all other normal people that I should be avoiding according to these books... To be fair, even my oncologist said that wheat and dairy really aren't great for anyone. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that I am going to do my best to eliminate wheat, dairy, and extra sugar, and eat lots of veggies. I am just going to try to be healthy because the reality is that when I was sticking to this plan religiously when I was first diagnosed I felt great!

I have been trying to think of a way to motivate myself to stay on this wellness plan. One idea that I was afraid to follow through on was using my blog readers to hold me accountable! I was going to post what I ate and what I did for exercise...maybe I still will...will you be nice to me? I also thought about doing a behavior chart for myself. As a teacher I did this all of the time for children who had difficulty with self-control or just needed behavior modification. I never thought of doing this for myself but I DO need self-control and behavior modification! Also, it was in a magazine I subscribe to called Whole Living and they said it is very powerful, maybe I will do this too. I was thinking that I can reward myself with a nice blouse or go out for coffee with the girls (don't tell, I am not supposed to drink coffee, no surprise there!)

I wanted to share a couple of things that are truly motivating to me right now that are helping me to get back on track (at least for today). I think about how those sweets taste and if that report is true about sugar feeding cancer, it is so not worth eating it, it is good, but not that good. I will eat it in moderation, but that is not something I am good at right now.

Another very motivating thing is that the YMCA here does a Livestrong Program where cancer patients and survivors have class together twice a week for 12 weeks. I will start in May or August, depending on my surgery schedule. The classes are exercise or art, whatever the class wants to do. I am excited to be connected to local survivors as well. The best part is that we get a free family membership while I am in the program! We joined last week, so I think the fact that I will have childcare so I can work out will be very motivating.

Also, my awesome and inspiring friends started a team for the race for the cure "Al's Rack Pack" isn't that great? It is a 5K, and although I haven't been running I have been exercising a little bit. I am hoping that I can run the entire thing. I can't imagine how motivating that will be. I am going to have a hard time not crying when I see all of my friends and family running/walking with me in the fight against this horrible disease. I am sure that day will motivate me to keep up with the exercise part of things. Exercise just feels so good when you keep up with it. I also think that if I have a great exercise regimen, if I do fall off the wagon occasionally it won't be the end of the world. I do believe that if you are too strict with a plan it is harder to stick too. If you are interested in joining our team or supporting our team, here is the link...
http://www.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/SYR_CentralNewYorkAffiliate?team_id=158687&pg=team&fr_id=2081

My most important motivator is my husband and children. When something as staggering as aggressive breast cancer comes at you when you are 30, your head is swimming with wondering "why?" I could drive myself crazy wondering what I can do to prevent recurrence, or I can just do what I can do. I know what I can do, and this is just about it. I think picturing their faces and how I want to be here for everything. It is pretty motivating.

If anyone out there wants to join me in striving for wellness, let me know what you are doing! What are your tricks? What are your great wellness resources and recipes. We all have to remember that we are the ones that are responsible for our health and happiness and that today we can make a difference with our choices.Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-87347321789770455652011-02-24T11:03:00.001-05:002011-02-24T16:33:39.464-05:00Still Plugging AlongWow, it has been way too long and I apologize for that! I have been very distracted with being elated that I am for the most part completely normal. It is funny how being elated and determined that this isn't going to get me down has spurred me to do way more than I would on a normal basis and I like it! Part of it is also the fact that Evelyn has come into her own and doesn't demand my every second. She is happy to play with her brother and sister and get into all kinds of trouble :-) Still doing the daily duties with ease and going to all these appointments. I just told my nurse that I am not going to know what to do with myself when I only have to come in every three weeks for Herceptin. That will start in 6 weeks! That's right- I have only two more "yucky treatments" as we like to call them three weeks apart until I switch to Herceptin every three weeks. It has gone by very fast. It has also made the winter go by very fast which is nice because if I spend too much time outside I lose my voice (weird I know).

After this last treatment I was more tired. I have my treatments on the Thursday and Friday is usually fine, Saturday and Sunday I was sluggish. Monday I had a day out with the kids, Tuesday I was beat!! Luckily I have an amazing Mom who came to the rescue and brought the kids to her house for the night. This is all so exciting for the kids that it doesn't really matter. We spent the morning until Grandma got there on the couch passing back and forth homemade presents in a cardboard box. We also drew homemade cards to go with each present. It was a great way to keep things positive and pass the time. I guess if that is the worst that I can complain about, once again, this hasn't been so bad. I still haven't needed to take any as needed nausea meds. I haven't had the numbness and tingling in my hands and feet that can come with this chemo. I haven't reacted to anymore drugs. PRAISE GOD!!

Some fun tidbits. The kids love my bald head. Funny though- my hair won't give up. I have quarter inch strands sticking up all over, so that is pretty funny. Evelyn loves to surprise baby attack when I am not looking and try to rip my hat off so she can wear it. She also let me put a head wrap on her and she was strutting around the house so proud of herself. Adorable! I will have to try it again and post some pictures. I also have to use LOTS of hand lotion because with winter and chemo it can be pretty rough. The kids love lavishing their hands as well, especially Evelyn, of course, who will come up to me desperately pleading "Hands, hands!" until I open it and squirt it on for her. She then giggles so excitedly and proceeds to rub it on her hands or anything else she thinks needs moisture like the couch.

There are a lot of bright sides to look at which is good because I have definitely had some down days as well. I do struggle with the fact that having more children (not that we were planning on it) isn't a very realistic option. I just wasn't ready for that door to be so abruptly closed whether or not it was going to happen. I had my cries and vented, now I am good. If God wants to open a door when one is closed, He will! Hope you are all having a good winter. I hope to better about making posts but can't make any promises :-)Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-80425061036104625022011-01-11T19:35:00.000-05:002011-01-11T19:35:17.338-05:00God's ProvisionOver the past few days I have really had some moments of being overwhelmed in a good way. I have had so many "close calls" within this journey with the cancer being aggressive, catching it just in time, having an allergic reaction last week to meds (Not that I am trying to be dramatic) people have been saying how strong I am, etc. but I want to give credit where credit is due. Although it has been pretty scary at times, I really see how God is showing us that it really is in his control and he is GOOD! Everything has fallen into place and I feel so fortunate to have been in the care that I have and that every detail has worked out for our benefit. I have really been brought to tears thinking of how fortunate I am that everything has gone as smoothly as it has. I have a very treatable cancer. It was caught early. I have great traditional and alternative care. I have amazing people in my life. I have a wonderful and supportive husband who has carried me. I can go on and on. Blessings are just pouring down!

Like I mentioned earlier, last week I had an allergic reaction right at the beginning of my infusion to the anti-nausea medicine. It was very scary. I felt like I was having a heart attack. The nurses were amazing, in no time they were pumping Benedryl into me and then within minutes everything calmed down. It was scary to have to continue with the rest of the treatments, but I just handed it over and said "Jesus, please take care of this" of course everything worked out fine. The thing that was most amazing about this allergic reaction experience was that the first thing I thought was "Why God, isn't everything else enough? Can't I just get through the rest of this without a hitch?" Later that night as I was lying awake I realized how God's is really "holding me in his giant hand" like my friend Hannah said. I was supposed to pre-medicate at home with the medicine that I reacted to at treatment. The doctor's office called me and told me not to take it because they could just give me what I needed at treatment.

All along people have been praying for us and that things would go smoothly. People have been praying for protection over me and that I would be able to get through this smooth sailing. I really believe that God protected me from taking that medicine at home alone with three kids. I was in an environment where I had great care right away to take care of the problem. Yes, it was scary, and I wish it didn't happen, just like this diagnosis. Isn't it true though that sometimes we have to go through these trials to really see how blessed we are? Life is so much sweeter knowing that God has brought me through this and can bring us through so much more! I love that we serve the God of the impossible and that He takes pleasure in guiding us on our journeys! I continue to be amazed at how God is providing me with the energy and strength during chemo. Really, I have felt a little tired here and there, but other than that, fine. I have been able to keep up with the kids, do our school work, housekeeping, etc because I ask God everyday to give me the strength that only He can provide and I can't do it alone! He is faithful! I have been feeling pretty good. I know it may get harder as treatments go on, but I am counting each day that seems "normal" I as a blessing. Thanks again for checking in and for all of your prayers!Fueled by Lovehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-33104717497175483052010-12-23T10:58:00.000-05:002010-12-23T10:58:05.354-05:00Gittin' R' DoneIt has been a while since my last post, and actually I wanted to wait a little bit to give you an accurate report of what is going on. I started my treatments last Friday December 17th. Nate and my good friend Shell came with me, it was a long day. By the time they give you everything you need plus all the drugs to help with everything, and the blood work it was almost 8 hours. On the flip side, it was nice to sit in a recliner on my laptop or dozing. I was joking that if I could just get Nate to rub my feet then it would be like a spa! See, you just have to use your imagination!

How am I feeling? Well for starters they give you so much medicine to counteract any symptom you could have from nausea to an allergic reaction that it doesn't leave a lot of wiggle room, which is good. On the other hand, those medicines and the chemo have left me feeling a bit "loopy" and tired. I also had a shot a couple days after my treatment for the white blood cells to make sure they don't drop off which gives you aches because it makes your bones produce white blood cells. I didn't have too much trouble with pain, but again, I think those drugs made me feel a bit loopy. The great news is that overall I feel pretty good! I didn't have to take any as needed nausea medicine. If I snooze here and there and get a good night sleep I feel pretty good. Some days I am more tired than others, but really, I can't complain! The nurse just told me she has Christmas songs stuck in her head, and I said that lucky for me, I don't have the attention span for that to happen! Yipee for Chemo Brain!

I am so thankful for Jan and my mom who have been a tremendous help. Jan took the kids for the weekend so I could rest and adjust, but I still hung out with them Saturday and we did church Sunday. They had so much fun and I think they had a great time sledding with Ri, Brit, Karen, Seth, and Nana. My mom has been with us during the week when she can and I can't say enough about how nice it is and just how having someone there is just so nice. My sisters and brothers have been hanging out here and there as well, making cookies, joking around, watching funny stuff, and just being there. I feel so blessed by our supoport! Meals continue to come as well, which really makes it easy on us, so thanks again!!

I am now at my second infusion of Herceptin only, which isn't as harsh as the others. I did have blood work done and a follow-up with the NP. My white blood counts were "in the basement" so they prescribed me an antibiotic being the holiday weekend so that I don't catch anything. Hopefully that shot will kick in gear this weekend and I will be feeling a bit more energetic.

Overall I am just hoping and praying that my side effects and fatigue stay under control and I know that I will not always have good days. In that case, I will be calling all of you lovely ladies from MOPS and the MOM's Club who have so generously offered to help out so I can nap and the kids can play! It has been nice to have things stay kind of normal. Having the kids be effected as little as possible is obviously a priority to us, and so far so good. I am happily taking the advice to just be with the kids, enjoy them, and try not to get too crazy about the rest. But the crazy part of me is so thrilled when I can still do the dishes and read books, and tidy up without feeling too tired. Normal is good.

Thanks for your continued prayers!! We are still hoping and praying God leaves the good meds and takes the bad side effects out of me! Prayers have been answered in amazing ways so far in this trial. We hope you all have a Merry Christmas! It is a good year to reflect on what a gift we have in this life, and not just any life, but one of peace, joy, and hope!Fueled by Lovehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-78817862211318693982010-12-14T16:49:00.000-05:002010-12-14T16:49:04.896-05:00Just a HiccupThis week I had one more hurdle to overcome in the diagnostic process. I had a CT Scan head to toe. I also had a bone scan. These scans are to check to see if there is any cancer anywhere else. Once again I was confident, and pretty much still am, that they are just making sure the cancer is gone. The office called today to tell me that two of my lymph nodes were slightly enlarged, one in my chest and one in my right armpit. The oncologist thinks that it is just from the surgery, but to be sure is going to do a PET Scan, which can find cancer anywhere in your body. I really am not nervous about it because I did have a little fluid on the right side, so I am thinking that it is just my lymphatic system trying to clear out, and since I had so many nodes removed it is harder for my body to do. My treatment is not starting tomorrow as originally planned. They want to do the PET Scan first just to know for sure what we are starting with. The good news is my bone scan was negative!!

Before I heard this news I had an appointment with my breast surgeon and I asked her given my specific diagnosis, etc. how much recurrence she saw. She said in 10 years...none! That was great to hear, especially before the other phone call. Which is another reason why I am not really worried. Still trusting in my divine physician!

Before my phone call when I was anticipating my first treatment tomorrow I was praying and just meditating on God's goodness and how much good he has brought out of this situation already. I am just so blessed to hear people say that God is inspiring them through this trial in my life. That is really all I could hope for and ask for, besides healing of course! God is so awesome, and it is so amazing to see Him at work. He works so beautifully in our lives, weaving the thread of joy, hope, peace, charity, and love between us all through the trials and joys we endure. We are so blessed and awestruck to be able to witness it and be a part of it.

As I was driving this morning I remembered back a few months ago to a night that I was praying and talking with the kids at bedtime. They had been having nightmares and were afraid to go to sleep. We had just started homeschooling and our memory verse was "Keep me as the apple of your eye, Lord. Hide me in the shadow of your wings." Ironic, that just a month later all this would start. Not, ironic, really it is God's timing. He used that verse in our lives to prime us. Anyway, I reminded the kids of that verse and then I felt the Holy Spirit lead me to think of this analogy to share with them. I told them...

"God never lets go of you. No matter how afraid you are or how real those dreams are, God has you and you are way too important to Him to let go of. You know when you are holding Mommy's hand and you slip and fall and I pull you back up? That is what God dooes with us. He is always holding our hands and when we slip or fall he says:

"Whoopsie, I got ya, are you OK? I love you and won't let you go." "

It is funny that while I was driving, that night came back to me. It is neat that God uses the words to inspire you later in your own situations. On a side note, they never have nightmares when we remember to pray at night and ask God to protect their dreams. That is such a great testimony to them that God loves them so much he protects their dreams and night, and not only that, they wake up having had the most amazingly fun dreams! I can just see our heavenly father looking down in delight, glad that we asked for help and delighting in giving them their sweet dreams.

I really think that all helped the kids to deal with this. They really aren't afraid. Actually, they are pretty excited that I might be bald soon :-) Em and Seamus can't wait to cut my hair! They also can't wait to take care of me. Em is already doting on me, telling me to sit down and let her do everything! She is also glad to volunteer Grandma as well ;-)

I will keep you posted as soon as I hear anything else. The new schedule is PET Scan Thursday morning, First chemo treatment Friday morning, and Neulasta shot (for blood cells) Sunday morning. I will be following that schedule pretty much for the next 18 weeks, but going in the off two weeks for my Herceptin shot (the targeted therapy that isn't bad on your body). Once again, thanks for your thoughts and prayers and for continuing to hope with me!

I forgot to tell everyone that my friends at MOPS got me a sign that says "Git R' Done!" Which I love! It is definitely going to motivate me and make me laugh throughout treatment! So when you hear someone say that, think of everyone out their battling cancer, and send a prayer up for them and a prayer that we'll find a cure soon!Fueled by Lovehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-749812087225173062010-12-08T13:41:00.000-05:002010-12-08T13:41:50.264-05:00Treatment Update...As you all know from my previous "Treatment Plan" post, I was hoping to be on a research trial. Unfortunately the insurance that we will have until the end of the month doesn't like research trials even though it would be better for the doctors, myself, and the insurance company. It's just one of those things! The oncgology group could appeal it, but that would add a couple of weeks to the process. I have been on the phone with the doctor's office throughout the past couple of days and we have been trying to figure out a way to make it work, including waiting until January 1 to start treatment so that I could be on trial if the new insurance would cover it. Like I have said before, I have been trusting God with these decisions and trusting that he knows what I need and when I need it and that He will work through the doctors. My doctor was back in the office today and is pulling me off trial and is going to do the "normal" treatment for this diagnosis. Which is the same IV chemo and Herceptin. The difference is that I won't be getting the experimental drug Tykerb, which I may not have gotten on trial anyway. She doesn't want to wait, I am trusting that decision.

I have scans (MUGA (heart), CT, and bone) on Friday and Monday and my first treatments will be scheduled Friday and will probably take place sometime next week. The good news is that usually at the end of your three week cycle is when you feel best, which should put me around Christmas, yay!

I know you were all just DYING to hear about my next health food tid bit, but I guess you'll have to stand the suspense for a little while :-)

I also wanted to share that I just read my Rick Warren devotional before I wrote this entry and it was so appropriate, so here is the link if you are interested...
http://profile.purposedriven.com/dailyhope/post.html?contentid=5464Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-79319143543985196232010-12-06T21:50:00.000-05:002010-12-06T21:50:18.785-05:00Breakfast of ChampionsWhen I was diagnosed, I was still breast feeding Evelyn and had to stop. I have always been interested in natural remedies and healing, having applied them in the past in other various situations, so my first instinct was to go to NaturThyme, a natural food store in our area, to see what they had to say about drying up the milk supply. I visited the store and explained that I needed to stop nursing for medical reasons. They had a few great recommendations, and of course they (politely) inquired what my "medical reason" was.

When I told the kind lady about my diagnosis, she wanted me to talk to one of their wellness counselors. I did this and was given a great deal of helpful information. Now, I know that many people think of this kind of thing as "quackery." I understand the potential for interactions, which is why I keep my traditional doctors informed about EVERYTHING I am taking and doing to with respect to my natural approach. Also, I am seeing a naturopathic doctor in addition to my wonderful and fantastic traditional doctors. The wonderful thing is that my traditional doctors are all on board with this approach!

Many people have asked me to give them the scoop on my natural approach, so I thought that I would do a little tid bit each day. Please feel free to do what you want with this information. I will do my best to post only well-backed, referenced tips (Nate is going to pitch in here), many of which apply to general health, in addition to cancer-specific information. Really, it is about wellness, something that I have strived for, but of course no one is perfect. My general rule of thumb is to try and stick to whole foods and not processed. I am a sucker for homemade sweets, bread, peanut butter and anything, and some junk...so obviously far from perfect. Now, with everything going on, I am a bit more motivated!

So, I thought I would first introduce my crazy breakfast of champions. I laugh everyday in disbelief when I make this and I suck it down, but then I feel great!

1 scoop Garden of Life Raw Organic Green Super Food Powder (available in a natural foods store). Some green "super food" mixes have sugar added - this one doesn't - so this is not sweet at all!

1 scoop chia gel (chia seeds mixed in water, which turn to jelly)

 dash of lime juice

ground flax

tumeric

tomato juice mixed equally with water to add liquid

here is where it gets fun...1 clove of garlic smashed and finely chopped

trace mineral drops

lemon flavored cod liver oil

Stir and enjoy! Really, it is not that bad. I like the lime and tomato flavor. In future posts I will go into detail about each to give you the scoop on why it is there. The great thing with this drink is that I am probably getting more nutrition each morning than I'd get in a week before I started this. See, breast cancer is making me strive to be healthy! I also think that it is so neat that God gave us the tools on earth to live healthy lives and to purify and detox so why not take advantage!Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-29893678726203477822010-12-01T20:01:00.001-05:002010-12-01T22:37:36.347-05:00My Treatment PlanSo today was my visit with the oncologist to go over everything. It was nice to finally hear what the plan is so that I can prepare and just know when this is getting started (probably 10-14 days). I am officially a Stage 2B, the B has to do with the tumor size. Some people were surprised that I have to do chemo because my other lymph nodes were clear and the sentinel lymph node was removed. The reason is that the lymphatic system pumps fluid through your body to clean out invaders, so whatever is in the lymph has potential to go elsewhere in my body. Since cancer (and only a small amount) was in the lymph it could have gone elsewhere, but we are declaring that it DID NOT! IV chemo is systematic and goes throughout your body, which means that it should kill any "rouge cells." Also, even without the lymph node being positive, they would still do chemo because of my age and the aggressiveness of the cancer. Better safe than sorry kind of thing. Recurrence is not any fun, so the plan is to eliminate the possibility as much as possible.

So the chemo they choose is dependent on the cancer markers. Like we have said before, my cancer is HR/2 neu positive, which means that there is a protein in my body that feeds a cancer gene and allows it to keep growing. This is the aggressive part of my cancer and on a scale of 1-3 in severity, I am a 3. Another tumor marker is estrogen receptor positive, which means estrogen presence fuels the cancer growth. It is considered weakly estrogen positive, which is good, but they still want to stop my body from producing estrogen for a while.

One part of my treatment is IV chemo. My surgeon put a port just below my collarbone that is accessed with a needle every time I go in. This lets the drugs go right to the central part of my body, rather than through a vein in my arm which can be both uncomfortable and cumbersome (especially every three weeks). I will be going in every three weeks for 6 treatments, which will be a total of 18 weeks. I will receive two therapies. One is called Carboplatin, the other is called Taxotere. These are the typical "harsh" chemo drugs that make your hair fall out, make you feel tired, and can make you feel sick. In addition to that, I will receive what is called a targeted therapy for the HR/2 neu marker. A targeted therapy means the drugs go after the specific tumor marker and won't kill all the fast growing cells (hair, blood cells, etc). This is where the research trial comes into play.

I am eligible for a research trial specifically for my diagnosis. The only way that it differs from what the doctor would treat me with normally is the part that deals with the HR2/neu factor. Most women are treated with a drug called Herceptin which is very effective at treating this kind of cancer marker. Some research shows that younger women may do better with a drug that is called Tykerb, I have actually done my own reading about it and apparently in other trials it has been a good alternative without some of the potential cardiovascular side effects that Herceptin might have. So...I am going to sign up for this trial and they will send my pathology to the board of research for approval which takes about a week. If I am approved I will start soon after that, if not, I will start treatment using Herceptin. Being part of the research trial doesn't mean I will definitely get the new drug. 25% get just Herceptin, 25% get a combo of both, 25% get a different combo of both, and the last 25% get only the new drug. My doctor assured me that this treatment would always be just as good if not better that what I would do anyway. Another reason why I am doing this is that without research participation, they cannot make progress with research. In a way I am helping my own cause and the cause of future generations by participating, and that feels like the right thing to do. I will need either Herceptin through the IV with or without a combination of the clinical drug in pill form every three weeks for a year. Like I said before, this is much more mild than traditional chemo.

Last but not least I will be taking a drug called Tamoxifen which is a pill for 5 years. This drug stops you from producing estrogen so that any "rouge cells" will not get the fuel they need to grow. The good side is stopping cancer of course, the bad side is menopausal symptoms for that time. Some women have no problems and others do.

Monday I was in Rochester seeing a very knowledgeable and experienced doctor who practices naturopathic and traditional medicine. She is very familiar with all of the chemo treatments and has tons of experience with cancer patients. She talked to me about nutrition during this and gave me supplements to help me stay healthy and detox some of the yucky chemo stuff. Not only that, one supplement in particular detoxes and makes the chemo more effective! This is all cool with my oncologist as well. Hopefully it will help me stay as healthy as possible. I am also looking into acupuncture which for some unknown reason is very effective in treating the fatigue and nausea that chemo patients experience. I am very excited about how these alternative therapies are going to help me to feel as good as I can for my family and myself!

The next major hurdle that we are praying about is telling the kids about all the treatment stuff. I know shaving the head has the potential of being pretty weird and scary. Thanks to the Smees for sending the amazing books! Another plan that a friend told me about is another mom had her kids cut her hair and her husband shaved her head. She told the kids to just have fun and cut different shapes. I think this will make it less scary and more fun. I am also going to buy them some fun kids fabric and let them make their own bandannas to wear with me. I am hoping this helps, but prayers are welcome!!

Well hopefully I covered it all. It is a lot to swallow and we do have a trying time ahead of us. So once again, thanks for all of your support! Thanks to all of you who are making delicious meals for us! It is so nice and on those days that I am feeling pretty gross, it is going to be nice to just pull something out of the freezer! We really appreciate it! Thanks to everyone who have been willing to watch our kids. They are having so much fun and getting so spoiled that I think they are going to handle the chemo news well. We are looking up and trusting God to continue to use this all of good, just as He has already!Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-40340170169449124372010-11-29T11:13:00.001-05:002010-11-29T19:44:12.258-05:00Pathology results are backHello blog followers, Nate is getting another turn at the keyboard. Allison is out and about for the day, but just called me to let me know she got the pathology results - and she wanted me to post so everybody would know.

First a quick review: When Allison went in for surgery on the 18th, we knew there was a single invasive tumor in her breast, and at least a few smaller pre-cancerous calcifications. However, it was not known if the cancer had spread at all. The plan was to extract the sentinel lymph node and biopsy it, on-the-spot, during surgery - the sentinel lymph node gives an indication of if the cancer has spread or not, and biopsying it during surgery lets the doctors know if they need to take the opportunity to look elsewhere for cancer while the patient is "open" so to speak.

Well, the bad news was that the sentinel tested positive, meaning it was cancerous. Because of that, they removed several other lymph nodes from that armpit/shoulder/collarbone area, to determine the extent of the cancer's spread. (I don't remember the count, but it was somewhere between 10 and 20). These other nodes were sent to a lab for biopsy, along with the (known to be positive) sentinel node and the original tumor.

It was a bit scary that the sentinel node came back positive, so we've been eagerly waiting for the last week to get the results back for the other nodes, to see if the cancer had spread to any of them as well. Allison just got the call - all of the rest of the nodes were 100% clean! Hallelujah!

In addition, the lab was able to tell us that the margins for the original tumor were very clean, which is also good news - this means the chance that it had spread to Allison's skin or chest wall are slim to none - which means the chance of local recurrence is greatly reduced.

So, a very happy day indeed.Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-48398547605586440582010-11-28T12:34:00.004-05:002010-11-29T00:46:55.037-05:00Carpe Diem or "Cancer Leverage"There is so much I have been rattling around my brain lately that I am trying to make a list of topics to blog about and just pluck away at the list as we continue on this journey, adventure, trial, test, opportunity, what have you! One of the things I have been thinking about is that I have all of these crazy ideas and plans that I try to convince Nate are excellent all of the time. Poor guy! I know this husband/wife dynamic is probably present in most relationships whether it is mutual, husband to wife, or wife to husband, it is a major part of every coupling isn't it?

I loved a sermon our pastor did over the summer as part of a series discussing our psychological personas as compared with what the bible says and how it plays out in daily life. He talked about the four personality definitions: optimistic realist, optimistic dreamers, pessimistic realist, and pessimistic dreamers. He then went on to define each and what they might sound like. He said that his wife always had big plans for their home that involved very involved projects etc. and that she was an optimistic dreamer. He also said that he is a pessimistic realist because his answer is always "Nah- I am not sure we can do that." Well we were at church and Nate's mom, Jan, happened to be there with us and we were just cracking up because we had to look at our neighbor and tell them what they were, isn't amazing how we can totally peg our family members and friends but we might have a different interpretation of ourselves? See- I saw myself as an optimistic realist, but Nate and his mom couldn't say quickly enough that I was definitely an optimistic dreamer! I was a little thrown off, come on, I like to dream but I am realistic...right? As our pastor finished the sermon he ended by saying it isn't necessarily important what kind of personality you have, it is what you do with it. If you know you are a certain way and you can get the reigns on it, than you can use it for good in your life...or better yet God can! So what does this mean for us?

For me, breast cancer is fueling the flames of my hopes and dreams! I want to savor flavor of each experience and moment, I want to do things and enjoy life! I have always wanted to, but more so now. I have had some hopes and dreams in the recent past that I just toyed with, now I am feeling like we can DO these things, especially those things we feel God putting on our hearts. A sort of "kick in the pants" I always encourage only doing those things you can do in unity with your spouse.

One of the things that I would love to do someday is adopt whether it be local children or refugee children, it is something that has been on my heart and we are praying about. Of course we have our hands full now and so much going on, but it is nice to focus on the future and dream about how God is going to use it. My new and amazing "bosom buddy" (friend and breast cancer survivor) Laurie sent me some words to encourage me and I looked up some verses that support this optimistic dreamer vision of mine...

"For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11).

"A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

So that is my altruistic plan for our family. Here is where it gets a bit crazy and funny. My mom is way worse (or should I say better) than me, if I could categorize her it would be..."super ridiculously optimistic dreamer" which I am sure spurred me on. She is such an inspiration because she always sees the glass half full, but honestly keeps me in check. We keep each other in check. One of our dreams is to start a family commune involving anyone on either side of the family including dragging my sister and brother-in-law Jeremy back from Vermont, so that we can buy some land and build our houses next to each other, have a huge organic garden with chickens and other small farm animals running around, maybe having some business involving schooling little ones, or just simply following through with the adoption plan and continuing our homeschooling in said environment. Isn't that fantastic??!! My friend Hannah, sister Becky, mom, and of course our amazing neighbors who have adopted 7 children are the inspiration (you are awesome!) Check out Hannah's blog at cultivatinghome.blogspot.com. Oh and a large greenhouse so I can continue growing kale (super for breast health) and other greens and herbs fresh through the winter months (if that is even possible here!) Nate entertains us with saying that would be great with the tone of "let's be realistic."

This is where I will introduce a concept that I have coined "the cancer pull" which is defined as:
"The advantage you have as a cancer patient to get your way." We were joking about it this morning as my sister was getting ready to go back to VT and she kindly informed me as I was looking for a cute term to coin the phrase "Allison, I am pretty sure that is just manipulation" Ha, ha. She is right, and of course I am joking about using my "cancer pull" (I say as I mischievously smile and tap my fingers together palms facing in...:-) ) Please comment if you have a better title for "cancer pull" because I think we can do better. So then what? Keep dreaming! I am going to make a list of these dreams that I have and bring them to the altar! God has amazing plans for our family and I get so excited to think about them and how we can advance His kingdom, whether it be by taking care of those orphans out there, volunteering for a young women's breast cancer group, going out there and paying it forward like Alissa has inspired in many through her blog, and continuing to do things to fight for social justice with our kids.

Carpe Diem! Use your gifts, have fun, get inspired!! Let me know if you want to join the commune!!

Oh and PS- Please encourage Nate to write some blog posts of his own. Afterall it is our family's journey. I think he is hesitant because of my writing prowess...LOL!! No seriously- he is an amazing writer and I am sure you would all enjoy it! I am hoping to get some segments in from the kids, but we aren't going into detail with them yet...so stay tuned!Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-17415563487064329682010-11-23T15:32:00.002-05:002010-11-24T23:19:01.373-05:00ThankfulSo here we are Thanksgiving week. Still recovering from surgery which is going fairly well with the hiccup of either having the stomach bug or reacting to the radioactive dye injection. That really was quite unpleasant as you can all imagine, but I am feeling much better now. So to keep on a positive note while we wait for more news I thought it was appropriate to write a list of the things I am thankful for in all of this.

-Having a wonderful husband and young kids. I am so distracted by them that it takes my mind off of just being someone with cancer, and reminds me that first I am a wife and mother.

-Of course my wonderful family and friends who have done so much! Especially the survivors or "pink warriors" if you will that have called and sent cards and have offered so much support that can only come from someone who has been there!

- The ability to read other blogs from young women with breast cancer and all of the breast cancer support out there, it is incredible!

- The sun came through the clouds today as we were on our way out of the doctors office, only for a few minutes, but it was enough.

- Jokes, laughter, especially the fact that I have a list of inappropriate breast cancer jokes that I might share with you sometime if I can get up the guts to do it, but in the mean time I am keeping some of the adults in my life entertained.

- I have the best motivation to exercise, and eat well. I mean seriously? Oh I am just running to get away from cancer...yada yada...I probably won't have a problem keeping up with exercise once I recover! I love exercise, but have a hard time prioritizing it, now it will be different.

-Every moment with my kids, the good, the bad, the ugly. I am not perfect and this won't make me perfect, but I will cherish them more than ever (tears...I have been quite weepy today).

- Ok, I am just gonna say it, fake boobs! It really does make you feel better about the whole thing, at least I do! It was bad enough that I cut my hair short a couple of weeks ago, and then this! My dad asked how I was feeling and I said "Like a boy!" Don't worry I was laughing!

-Now I am going to give the American Cancer Society props. They offer free makeup, wigs, and makeovers for chemo patients. That is going to be nice because I do like the makeup and girly stuff. Plus...if anyone needs to know how to make fake eyebrows I will be your girl!!

- Of course, I am thankful as you all know to my awesome God who has given me the ability to take this both seriously and humorously, after all he made me so we know He has a sense of humor! My faith is carrying me. I am on a raft on the rapids but it is anchored securely and I am not going to stray from that!

So, that feels better to get that all off my chest (no pun intended)! Happy Thanksgiving and please hold your families close, don't stress, enjoy it and every moment! Also check out Alissa's blog on Thanksgiving- she is doing Thankfulness stories all day and mine will be posted at 1 havestrollerwilltravel.com.Fueled by Lovehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-5251451796671082202010-11-20T17:49:00.001-05:002010-11-20T20:10:56.366-05:00Reflecting on HopeSo Nate gave you the post surgery update and I of course have been swimming in thought about all of this since surgery. Some things I'd like to share. I want to tell you how therapeutic it is to get this all out and share it. I am a talker and it really helps a ton! Thanks for listening to me babble :-)

Of course I was a bit disappointed to learn that my lymph node was positive. I actually told people ahead of time that it was going to be negative, but optimism never hurt, right??!! It was one of the first things I asked and then of course I just changed the subject because I could see it wasn't an easy thing for the closest people in my life to tell me. My doc had gone home after a long day and I wasn't waking up too soon, so they were left to give me the news. I am not complaining about that one bit, all of my doctors and care have been fantastic! Like Nate said, we will know about the other lymph nodes she removed hopefully by Wednesday. We will also know whether or not to get a second opinion from an oncologist at a young women's breast cancer center to decide the best course of treatment. I really like the oncologist I am seeing but she said not to hesitate to get a second opinion. She really is wonderful. My brother actually has a contact at the Dana Farber Institute in Boston who has helped me a lot and has offered to help me get set up with a consultation there if I want to. So we are thinking and praying about all of that.

One of my wonderful friends Marni, sent me a little care package the night before surgery and when I woke up in the morning and opened it, there were several bible verses written out and laminated. This was so great, because of course I was a bit anxious that morning, the timing and verses were perfect. I brought them with me and read them after surgery the next morning and all of my anxiety went away. Especially now when there seems to be a little more of a challenge to the situation than we anticipated. I'd like to share some of the verses that are seeing me through and keeping me positive!

"But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like Eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:31

"...And we REJOICE in the hope of the glory of God. No only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance character, and character, hope." Romans 5:2-3

"Yet I call this to mind that therefor have HOPE: because of the Lords great LOVE we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness." Lamentations 3: 20-24

"And the peace of God which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philipians 4:7

"Let us hold UNSWERVINGLY to the hope we profess, for He who has promised is FAITHFUL." Hebrews 10:23

"For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies." Psalm 57:10

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord.: Psalm 31:24

So I guess what I am trying to get across is something that I have told others who have been suffering from different trials in life and need to take my own advice...you can't go on what you see, you have to go on what you know. I know God's word to be true, because it has been so real in prayer in circumstance throughout so many times in my life. I know God is GOOD and wants GOOD for me. I know He holds me in His hand and counts every tear. I know He is crazy about all of us! I know that it would be just as true even if the circumstances seem so much more extreme. I hold onto this hope even more in this situation! Although there is lymph node involvement it doesn't change the hope that I have in this situation because God doesn't change, and there is nothing that he can't change for good!

There has been so much evidence throughout this trial of God providing me with the best care, love, and joy. Emmalise (our 5 year old) is a big time worrier about all things medical. She heard me say surgery when I was on the phone with the doctor and she said "Surgery, Mommy who, me?" Without thinking I said "No honey, Mommy." Thinking that she would freak out she said "Oh, ok!" with great relief, so I thought that was pretty funny. A couple of weeks later before bed she asked why I was having surgery out of the blue, so I told her that something bad was growing inside of me that the doctors needed to take out and that was pretty much the end of it.

So for us this was pretty amazing...When Em first woke up the morning of surgery the first thing she said was "Mommy I am going to be praying for you today and that your surgery goes well." Then she promptly said "OK everyone, come over here, Mommy you sit in the chair and everyone else sit around her, we are going to pray!" "Dear Jesus, please take care of my Mommy today and heal her. Please make her as well as possible and help her to get better quickly! Amen!" It was no surprise that she wanted to pray, but the depth that she prayed and the way she executed the whole thing left us with our jaws on the floor! She normally would just avoid these stressful situations, which is understandable! We were all so proud of her. I looked at her and said "Em, no worries ok!" and she looked at me and said "No Mommy, no worries!" with complete confidence. I am glad that God used our girl to confirm the confidence that we need to have in this and in all other things in life. He used the one that we were worried about to expel of all our own anxieties!

We can't believe the amount of support we are receiving from friends and family. I feel so spoiled! I haven't for one moment worried about my kids. They are having a blast with their friends and Nana. My daughter was actually having a count down to surgery because she couldn't wait to sleep over with her friends that are like sisters (Grace and Morgan). Thanks to the Kingsley's for loving our kids like your own! Thanks to the Riedl's for taking Bubs too and your willingness to help us out! Thank you to all my beautiful and supportive friends from the Caz Mom's Club and MOPS for meals, care packages, encouragement, prayers, etc. The realization is that the tougher the trial the more I feel loved! We are totally encapsulated by this love that you are all sending to our family. Thanks for having the faith like a mustard seed that can move mountains!

Much Love and Blessings!!
AllisonFueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-7228076386357554712010-11-18T20:08:00.000-05:002010-11-18T20:08:42.234-05:00Report from SurgeryHello everyone,

Nate's turn at the keyboard to give a live report from the surgery center. We checked in this morning, at which point Allison met with various doctors and nurses to discuss the procedure and do more imaging and testing. Afterwards, they checked Allison in to her room (a nice private room with a real window!). More doctors and nurses in and out to talk about the procedure, sign forms, and so on. Before long they had Allison in a bed and were whisking her away. Those of us in attendance were allowed to hang out in her room, which was a nice change from a public waiting room.

During surgery, nurses stopped in and gave us updates, asked if we needed a drink, and so on. The entire staff here has been excellent.

When the breast surgeon was finished with her part of the operation, she came out and gave us an update. Things went a little slower than planned but there were no serious complications with the surgery itself. They did pathology on the sentinel lymph node during the surgery, and it came back positive. This meant that several more lymph nodes on that side were removed, to allow for more pathology. We are praying that they come back negative - we'll get the results in about a week. These results will play a big role in determining the type and duration of chemo that Allison receives (as well as officially "staging" the cancer). At that point the plastic surgeon was still working away, so Allison still had about an hour of surgery left.

After things were finally wrapped up, the plastic surgeon spoke with us, letting us know that everything went well. He commented that he thought it was a very successful operation and that things had gone well. Allison was moved to recovery, where she came to and was monitored for about a half an hour, before being returned here to her room where she will spend the night. She's here with us now talking about how things went - she seems to feel fine other than being really thirsty!

We want to thank everybody for the overwhelming support we have received - Allison's facebook and email accounts are overflowing with positive wishes and prayers. Our chest freezer is already loaded with meals, and we've got plenty of people lined up to help with the kids. Thanks for everything and stay tuned for more updates. Allison will be busy recovering over the next few days/weeks but I will post updates as we know more info.Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-18516803119974080292010-11-16T19:29:00.000-05:002010-11-16T19:29:27.226-05:00Jennifer Wolsey Photos- Chasing Faries

Fueled by Lovehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-47526620097381412010-11-16T18:45:00.001-05:002010-11-17T07:29:17.402-05:00Appropriate Blog TitleThis week so many people have been reaching out to me, asking how I am, etc. before surgery Thursday. It is hard to explain in a few words the process. I was diagnosed almost six weeks ago and I had three weeks to wait after getting the surgery date. Some people were kind of frustrated by that (waiting so long) and asked me if I was upset. At first I was kind of frustrated but then came to the realization that I had already handed this over to God and I just needed to continue doing that. God's timing is always perfect.

I decided that we were going to be "better than normal" for the few weeks until surgery. By that I mean do lots of fun things, go on some field trips hang out with friends and family as much as possible, and that's what we did! It was so nice to be around all of the people that feel so invested in this with us and are there to support us but also not have to talk about this too much and just enjoy every minute of it.

There are times when fear and anxiety try to creep in, but with God's help I just shut that door and don't go down that road. This is our story, and our story is going to have a different ending than some others that I have heard. I have been reading the Psalms because they offer such encouragement. I was thinking about all of these things the other day and then read Psalm 5 and the end of the psalm stood out Psalm 5:11-12:

"But let all those rejoice who put their trust in you; Let them ever shout for joy because You defend them; Let those also who love your name be joyful in you. For you, O Lord, will bless the righteous; With favor You will surround him as with a shield."

This speaks volumes into my situation. I have prayed that God would guide the surgery and I have a vision of God hovering over me and protecting me through surgery and everything that is to follow, shielding me.

It seems that in the moments that I feel vulnerable or that I start to feel down that God provides me with someone, the angels on Earth that help me. It is my friends calling to say "Hi" or ask us over to play. It is the song or verse that someone sends, it is my kids coming to give me a big hug or kiss for no apparent reason. It is our friend from church calling about setting up meals. It is a friend who calls to say they have a freezer for us to put all of those meals in! Amazing blessings and love pouring into our family sent from God above through you!

I want to share a couple of things that especially stood out this week. My new friend Jen, who is an amazing photographer, came to take our family pics up at on relatives beautiful land and the series of pics is called "Milkweed Magic." It was such a nice and special time. My daughter, who is usually SO difficult to take a picture of was captivated by "chasing faries" in the milkweed with Jen. When said our goodbyes and got in the car to head off to Friendly's My daughter said "Mama, I think I made a new friend!" It was so cute. Jen just wanted to "pay it forward" and do something nice, and it was amazing! I am looking forward to paying it forward after being so inspired! I hope you enjoy the pics :-)

I asked my friend Sara about some worship music that she would recommend listening to, because that totally makes my day and she posted this link on my facebook page which made me cry, in a good way. It totally has been stuck in my head and is keeping my mind where it needs to be! It is nice to be flooded with tears that come from being filled to bursting with love that is heaven sent! This woman has an amazing voice as well!! Check it out...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JoC1ec-lYps

So to bring this post full circle, the title that Alissa so appropriately suggested "Fueled By Love" isn't just a cool name, it is such a reality right now.

Just so you know, Nate will post the evening after surgery to let everyone know what's going on!!

 Love you all...thanks for everything!Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6396716861735236199.post-39518217561592556982010-11-08T14:21:00.000-05:002010-11-08T14:21:57.458-05:00One of many opportunities to growThanks for visiting my blog! Before I jump into anything I want to send out a very special thanks to my sister in law and good friend, Alissa, for setting up this blog for me! I am so grateful for all of her help and advice so far in this process. She is a wealth of knowledge and encouragement!

Also, I want to thank everyone who has jumped without hesitation to our sides during this "bump in the road" with care packages, cards, goodies, words of encouragement, hugs, prayers, and the list goes on and on. I keep saying that this is really going to be as easy as it can possibly be because of the tremendous support that we are getting from family, friends, church, and our community.

So I was diagnosed with invasive ductal carcinoma on October 5th. I actually had to look up the date because in the chaos I totally forgot or just didn't take note, for those of you who know me well I am sure you aren't surprised ;-) Of course we were caught off guard, but my wonderful husband Nate said when I broke the news "Well we are just going to do what we need to do to get through this." He has been such a rock through all of this, which is no surprise! You can read more about my diagnosis, in the "My Diagnosis" section of the blog.

My surgery (bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction) is scheduled on November 18th. I will only be there overnight and then I come home. I have a no lifting restriction for 6 weeks so friends and family and going to help take care of the kids.

Following surgery I will have chemo (they will know specifics after surgery when there is a detailed pathology to determine the course of treatment). It will be IV chemo probably every 2 weeks for 4-6 months and then a drug called Herceptin every 3 weeks for a year. I will lose my hair during the IV part of chemo and have some of the other symptoms such as fatigue and nausea, but I am hopeful that I won't feel sick at all because many survivors tell me that they didn't feel sick.

There are many other things that help you get through. Also I have read that diet and exercise are key in making treatment successful, so I have been working on that as well. I have been doing mostly pilates, wii fit, and I will try to get outside as much as possible! Also, I am putting all my trust in the Lord, I believe that He is my divine physician working through the doctors, treatments, and giving my all the peace and strength to get through this. Reading scripture, inspirational quotes, and prayer are keeping my mindset positive and uplifted.

This is what I will be using to keep everybody updated so please sign up for email updates to stay in the loop! Also, thanks so much to everyone who has offered to help with meals, etc. Our church is going to set up a calendar for people to go to if they want to do a meal. We so appreciate the help and although it is hard to accept it, I am told to just do it! Thanks again to everyone for supporting us through this!Fueled by Lovehttp://email@example.com


text: MEMPHIS (IFS) -- It's amazing that when Presidents Bush/Cheny sucked all of the money out of the country to fight a war that they imagined in their minds and overdrew the bank accounts of all the American citizens and killed our credit cards, but they call Obama a jerk for their sins? That bill was not paid off when these guys left office, Obama inherited it along with everyone else. Yet he is blamed with stupid ads using children as this one above, to create lies and deception. This is very sad!

subset: commoncrawl


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5 a.mm wake up call
Now for another confession: Folks I have never been to Michigan Stadium. Yes I know, that's a sin in the Wolverine State. But in my defense, I am originally from Texas and my roots are in Longhorn country. Any way, I digress. After stopping to ask directions not once but twice, I finally made it.
Wow! The crowds are already lining up and, what's that I feel? Yep, it's about to start raining here. Well that's all for now. It's time to go check in the media area. More soon!


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One thing I did for a week or two was to keep a food diary. I had tried that once before, but this time really made an effort to keep it as accurate as possible. Apparently I take in about 2500 calories a day, and the ratios tend to be around 60 carbs/20 protein/20 fat, or maybe a bit more carbs. From what I gather from the book, this is perfectly fine.
The other suggestion I followed was purchasing a scale that displays your body fat percentage. I really had to swallow my pride for that one as I had always taken the piss out of these contraptions before. Actually, I would not have gotten one had the local German discount supermarket not offered one in a special deal the other week. Even if it's useless, 20 Euro is no big loss. When I set up my details (age, height and activity level) I got a bit of a surprise. The highest activity level sounded appropriate from the manual (it even mentions intensive running), and my body fat percentage came out as 5%. I know with absolute certainty that this can't be right. I tried again with the next lower activity level (up to 20 mins jogging, 3-4 times a week) and all other setting left the same, and the much more believable result was about 11%. This does not exactly give me a lot of confidence in the algorithm used, but will do as a baseline. As Matt Fitzgerald points out, consistency is more important than accuracy, because even if the results are out by a few percent you can still follow your ups and downs.
Anyway, the irony is that after reading all those clever things the one thing that made a change had nothing to do with anything from the book. You might remember that I have given up sugar for lent (which I'm still adhering to), and by now the weight loss is over 5 pounds, from over 150lbs/10st10/68kg to 145lbs/10st5/65.8kg, and amazingly this has been achieved despite never going hungry in the mean time. Just how much chocolate had I been eating? What helps is having plenty of fruit right at my desk as well as in the fruit bowl at home, and things like peanuts and almonds for grazing (another one of Matt's tips). This really seems to work. If only I had known earlier. Niamh refused to step on the scales as she was worried I might have caught up, but this was eventually proven wrong. There is still a gap between us, much to her relief.
As far as running is concerned, there was a fair amount of discomfort in my quads, and it felt different to anything I've ever gotten before, so I guess it's the cycling that's responsible for that. Looking back at the race, I was quite disappointed to see my HR graph for the cycle leg where the HR was dropping steadily from over 170 at the beginning to 160 at the end, which is not what I would like it to look like. But I can't be too critical about my racing performance seeing as I had gone into the race on exactly zero bike specific training, just falling back onto my basic running fitness and the commuting miles. It was always clear that there would be room for improvement, and only losing 2 places during the entire cycle leg was much better than expected anyway.
I have been taking it very easy running wise since then; the one workout that pleased me most were just over 60 minutes of swimming in the pool on Sunday, which shows that my swimming fitness is definitely improving, even if the swimming pace still seems painfully slow.
6 miles on a beautiful Sunday morning were followed by 8 very slow ones in the icy cold temperatures of early Monday, with 5 more today. The HR on Monday was very low and there was a big jump in that reading today, even though I do not feel any different. There are two possible explanations for this. Either today's reading was wrong, or my body is fighting off the cold that had affected Niamh over the last two days. She felt really rotten on Sunday and Monday but is much better now. I've had a sore throat for the last 2 days and the girls both have runny noses, so there is definitely something doing the rounds in our household. With just over 4 weeks to go to Connemara, getting sick now would be a complete disaster.
- 7 Mar
- am: 6.1 miles, 49:32, 8:07 pace, HR 134
pm: 60+ minutes swimming
- 8 Mar
- 8 miles, 1:08:24, 8:33 pace, HR 130
- 9 Mar
- 5 miles, 41:18, 8:16 pace, HR 141(?)


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Sylvia Engdahl, SF author & space advocate - See my new video trailer!
I'm excited about my new video trailer for my adult novel Stewards of the Flame, which you can see either on my Stewards of the Flame profile page or in the video section of my personal profile page. I produced it myself, which was lots of fun -- I'd never done anything like that before. Let me know what you think!
D-Rockin' the M I C - My Comic at the PORTLAND COMIC BOOK SHOW
"Part 1 of my comic "I Dreamed A Far Country" will be in stores around Portland at the end of the month, but you can come see me at the PORTLAND COMIC BOOK SHOW this Sunday and pick up a copy early, or just pop by and say 'hello'."
MEMORIAL COLISEUM - Located at 300 N Winning Way, Portland, OR 97227-2108.
Questions? Call Second Genesis/Portland Comic Book Show at 503-788-1031 - Admission $7
Dark Horse Comics - Making of a Comic: Grendel - Behold the Devil #1
Here's your chance to see how a comic book is put together -- from conception to completion. This month we're featuring Grendel: Behold the Devil. For the first time in over a decade, Matt Wagner returns to the character that made him famous to reveal the biggest secret of Rose's illustrious and bloody career as Grendel! Check it out now at DarkHorse.com!
MySPACE DARK HORSE PRESENTS ISSUE 4 IS LIVE!
The newest installment of MySpace Dark Horse Presents has been posted, featuring all new stories by Rick Remender, Peter Bagge, Haden Blackman and Brodie H. Brockie! Just click here to check it out!
Plague - Chapter 9 Out of the Frying Pan:
The second part of chapter 9 is posted at: http://www.plague.gravesidetales.com
Jennings Grove - And now a brief interlude... Latest posting is at: http://www.jenningsgrove.gravesidetales.com/
Graveside Tales - Preorder Fried! Fast Food, Slow Deaths and receive FREE S&H
FRIED! FAST FOOD, SLOW DEATHS edited by Colleen Morris & Joel A. Sutherland $14.95. Click here for FREE SHIPPING & HANDLING.
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Gary Starta - Blood Web available now at Charles River Press
"the biological Internet just went online and Special Agent Caitlin Diggs may be the only one able to stop it...."
BLOOD WEB - An x-filish suspense book now available at Charles River Press. Read more and buy at:
News worth reposting:
Bailey Hunter - Dark Recesses Press now available for Pre-Order!!
More information can be found at: http://www.darkrecesses.com/
Kelly James - New Short Story Published
"My short story WORMS is in the +Horror Library+ this month! Please stop by and give it a read at: http://www.horrorlibrary.net/index.php?page=php_view_story&story_id=776 Don't forget to sign the guest book! Thanks ~ Kelly"
Louise Bohmer -- EIC Lachesis / LBF Blog - Newsletter Subscription Contest -- Win a Free Copy of TSOH!
This contest with run from now until December 4, so sign up to "Louise Bohmer's Esoteric Writings Newsletter" now to enter.
Just send a blank e-mail to: "email@example.com"
Apex Science Fiction and Horror Digest - Issue 11 now available
Go to this URL to order: http://www.apexbookcompany.com/products/apex-digest-issue-11
The Pyromantics - Winner announcement- Wed 7th November
One week since Halloween- we are hoping to announce the winner of the Halloween Tale 2007- so keep look out guys! ~ Cat
Are We Alone? - November 5, 2007 - Encore Presentation "That Thinking Feeling"
Give it a listen at: http://radio.seti.org/
The Spiderwick Chronicles - New Spiderwick contest coming up soon!:
Keep your eyes open for the new Spiderwick Contest. Details unveiled on Monday, November 5th!
Writer's Market UK - Short Story Competition:
WritersReign are running a new short story competition with the theme of 'Make Mine Music!'. Writers are asked to submit stories of between 1,000 and 1,500 words in which music in one form or another plays a significant role in the plot. Complete details are at: www.writersreign.co.uk/comp.html
View the latest news and writing competitions at www.writersmarket.co.uk
CLIVE BARKER - Mister B. Gone is here:
The day has arrived. MISTER B. GONE is now on sale. Click HERE to order your copy.
Win an original painting from Clive Barker:
Head over to www.misterbgone.com for information on how you can win an original painting from Clive Barker valued at over $2,500.00.
Djibril - The Future Fire/Black Swan writing competition ~ $500 prize:
"In association with Black Swan we are offering an exciting creative writing competition. Write a short story based on the evocative and bizarre surroundings of Black Swan, and the best entry submitted by the closing date will win the first prize of (USD) $500, and be published in The Future Fire and in Second Life by Black Swan." (Enter Second Life and visit the following SLURL: http://slurl.com/secondlife/Black%20Swan/245/120/39/ )
Submissions must be made no later than midnight (GMT) on December 10th, 2007. See http://futurefire.net/competition/ for more details
The Smoking Poet - The Smoking Poet: Call for Submissions - Winter 2007-08:
For full submission guidelines and contact information, visit: http://thesmokingpoet.tripod.com/
Friday, November 9, 2007
Bulletins & Other News: Nov. 09, 2007
Sylvia Engdahl, SF author & space advocate - See my new video trailer!


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The Un-bombed
I´m in Spain. I had a layover in London and in the pre-board area there was a TV screen with the BBC that had the headline and report
I´m in Spain. I had a layover in London and in the pre-board area there was a TV screen with the BBC that had the headline and report
Slopped by sarcasmus at 9:29 AM
"…it's hard to resist your own substance, you'd like to stop all this, give yourself time to think about it and listen without difficulty to your heartbeat, but it's too late for that. This thing can never stop. This enormous steel box is on a collision course; we, inside it, are whirling madly with the machines and the Earth. All together, along with the thousands of little wheels and hammers that never strike at the same time, that make noises which shatter one another, some so violent that they release a kind of silence around them, which makes you feel a little better. You give into noise as you give in to war. As the machines you let yourself go with the two three ideas that are wobbling about at the top of your head. And that's the end. From then on everything you look at, everything you touch is hard. And everything you still manage to remember more or less becomes as rigid as iron and loses its savor in your thoughts." Celine, Journey to the End of the Night
"It's not that I like the empire—I hate it—but there's nothing I can do about it right now." Luke Skywalker, Star Wars


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This video was filmed on 21 March 2017 in Bodrum, Turkey. The law and practice in Turkey change all the time. Please be aware that it may be out of date.
This interview features Başak Yıldız Orkun, Managing Partner at Orkun & Orkun (firstname.lastname@example.com) and John Howell, Editor & Founder of Guides.Global (email@example.com).
Our videos are, of necessity, both brief and general and can take no account of your personal circumstances. They are intended to be a good introduction to the subject BUT ARE NO SUBSTITUTE FOR PROPER PROFESSIONAL ADVICE, which our contributors will usually be happy to provide upon request.
The advice and opinions contained in this video are those of the speakers and are not necessarily those of Guides.Global.
Click where you see for more information
This is a detailed video discussion about Family Law in Turkey. Please read our written Guide to Family Law in Turkey for more information or download our audio (MP3) guide on the subject.
This interview takes us through Family Law - excluding divorce - in Turkey. It covers separation if a couple is cohabiting but not married; what happens if a couple is religiously but not legally married in Turkey; and what is done in the case of disputed paternity.
|Turkey Country Guide
Essential facts and figures about Turkey
|Divorce in Turkey
How to get a divorce, and what will happen if you do
|Marriage in Turkey
How to get married, and the laws surrounding it
I hope you have found this guide useful. If you need any further help, please contact me.John Howell 27 April 2017
Email or call us to find out how we can work together.


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I obtained the Evo SP and posted the benefits and drawbacks some threads even further up on this website page. It really works perfectly enough, but is inconvenient ample With all the counter body weight that I'd look at the Feiyu SPG or just destroy using the apple iphone for the waterproofing of your G5.
Stabilizers are basically some poles, much like the Gopole, As an example, with integrated stabilizers. The items for which we do all our reviews all have three motors which manage 3 axes : Pan, Tilt and Roll. Because of a very specific and innovative algorithm, your Gopro gimbal will mechanically modify the placement within your digicam so as usually to maintain it balanced. This is actually wherever the stabilizers do a crazy get the job done plus the best Gopro stabilizer will eliminate Each and every minimal vibration.
We attached the Hero5 to the highest of your pole employing a small clamp and off we went. The digital camera was set at 50 frames a second in 2.7K, with all the things else established as conventional. We ended up equipped to observe the digital camera on an iPhone more often than not, but once in a while the signal did fall out due to huge level of Wi-fi within the display flooring. I believe that in regular capturing environments this shouldn't be a problem.
We strongly endorse you to definitely go through the total reviews if you need to know more details on these stabilizers and discover the best for yourself, the just one which is able to accommodate you best. It's under no circumstances effortless to select and that's why we did this Gopro stabilizer comparison. We hope that can help you ! Without having throwing away anymore second, discover our very shorter summary of our best Gopro gimbal stabilizers.
– At one level, the Removu went wholly mad for no noticeable motive, oscillating vertically and hitting the hard stops really heavily. I felt I'd to right away change it off to forestall destruction. I couldn't restart it afterwards, as it will often oscillate greatly from side to side. I thought it absolutely was ruined. Then, I went online and observed the "calibration" feature from the manual on the S1.
After mounting a tool within the stabilizer, users can then Decide on three configurations — pan manner, lock manner or pan + tilt method — with Each and every providing various levels of kinetic movement. The cell phone will then continue to be fixed in position, enabling you to shoot quite possibly the most silky smooth skate edits possible.
A GoPro gimbal is actually a handheld digital camera stabilizer produced to improve your GoPro picture top quality when capturing in motion. There are several different types that you can buy, making it difficult to pick which a single you want to use.
The Gopro Karma Grip is unquestionably one of many best stabilizer you could find at this moment. Similar to the Removu check here S1, it offers a fantastic stabilization which yielded it an excellent 9.
I want I understood. I noticed the Z1-Evolution and imagined similar to you but didn't try it. To me They give the impression of being precisely the same, but difficult to say whenever they use the same motors. They might!
Also take into consideration the "rate result" is previously A part of the grade. As a result, if a Gopro stabilizer ranks 1st in our comparison desk AND is pricey, very well, What this means is it is an extremely Great handheld 3-axis Gopro gimbal. Certainly, the price has definitely reduced the normal…
ninety five. It should be famous the gadget is created for use with Heroes Geared up with among GoPro's Liquid crystal display BacPacs, so if you do not have a person, the Curve's performance may not be optimum.
These are typically for GoPro ONLY. For A7R measurement cameras you will need to opt for a larger gimbal of which lots of are available. But the additional size, bodyweight turned me off of People as I use these A great deal and can easily carry them in my digital camera bag. Check B&H Image for larger gimbals for greater cameras.
As stated in my preceding weblog submit, when I decided to invest into an Digital GoPro gimbal I had been torn between the Removu S1 plus the GoPro Karma Grip to stabilize my new Hero 5 Black. They the two Activity very similar features, but which of The 2 will establish for being the best GoPro gimbal?
The Ikan Fly X3 Go is definitely an American gimbal stabilizer for Gopro. While it is not the best yow will discover in the marketplace, it continue to has some quite wonderful assets for which you unquestionably can't remain indifferent. Among the them, we really enjoyed The reality that you'll be capable to break up the gimbal as well as the stabilizer section. This could let you use this three axis handheld Gopro gimbal in quite a few diverse situations.
What Does smartphone gimbal reviews Mean?
I obtained the Evo SP and posted the benefits and drawbacks some threads even further up on this website page. It really works perfectly enough, but is inconvenient ample With all the counter body weight that I'd look at the Feiyu SPG or just destroy using the apple iphone for the waterproofing of your G5.


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Friday, November 8, 2013
Bullying breakdown
They become bullying when it's excessive, when someone's a target. One prank is pretty harmless. Everyone laughs about it you get embarrassed and thats the end of the story. However when it becomes a constant thing that's when you have bullying and that's when it malicious. I think both are very important. If it wasn't someone's intent to actually cause harm then there really shouldn't be a problem. All you need to do is simply swallow your pride and go apologize to the person. However if it was done just to hurt someone that's when you run into issues and that's when you're dealing with a bully. The reaction is probably the most important part because if someone shows that they've been deeply offend by it then the perpetrator has to go apologize and try and make right. However, if the victim just shrugs it off then everything's okay. I feel like it's the captains duty to policy the locker room and things going on off the field. They have been put in a leadership role for a reason, and one of the reasons is to look out for your teammates. A locker room is a place where a lot of things happen and I don't think the outside world really knows enough about it to judge. That's why I don't think the NFL should get involved at all, it up to the team to treat each other with respect.
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Why I Quit the Republican Party
I have been a lifelong Republican. Today, June 23, 2016, after more than forty years, I changed my registration to "Independent." In good conscience I cannot be a member of a political party whose leaders have made common cause with Donald Trump.
No political party is perfect. I have never supported every idea endorsed in Republican Party platforms. On the other hand, I've never been tempted to join the Democrats; on the whole Republican ideas make more sense. Over the years, I have voted for Republicans, Independents, Democrats, and assorted minor party candidates. I am not a policy purist quitting the Republican Party in protest over some minor detail.
Donald Trump is not a minor detail. Republican leaders in Congress, city governments and statehouses need to reckon carefully. The election of 2016 presents their party with a moment of truth. What does the Republican Party stand for?
Trump is wrong on trade. His protectionist ideas would greatly damage the U.S. economy. He wants to return to policies of the 1920s that helped make the Great Depression.
Trump is wrong—disastrously, mind-bogglingly wrong—on immigration. Deport 11 million people? This bizarre notion, if actually enacted, would provoke massive public resistance. Force Mexico to pay for a "wall" on our border? How? By military threats? Given the worldwide economic chaos resulting from Trump's protectionism, economic threats would be idle.
Trump is wrong on international law. He openly said he would order U.S. military persons to "go after" the wives and families of suspected terrorists. Such orders would violate international law, laws ratified by the U.S. in accordance with our Constitution. Such orders would be completely immoral.
Trump is wrong about "making America strong." Has he never seen the Statue of Liberty? We have often failed to live up to our beliefs, but America is a country that welcomes strangers. Excluding a whole class of people because of their religion and "profiling" people because of their religion—two ideas explicitly and repeatedly endorsed by Trump—are antithetical to American values.
Most important (for me at least), Trump is wrong about Jesus. Trump thinks that he can fool Christian Americans that he is a follower of Jesus, though Trump said he cannot remember ever repenting of sin. Never repent—despite failed marriages, multiple bankruptcies, countless lawsuits, and a history of bragging (on radio!) about his marital infidelities.
Don't misunderstand me. I don't oppose Trump because he is not a Christian. I have cheerfully voted for Muslims, Jews, atheists, and candidates whose religion I don't know. My objection is that Trump tries to sell himself as a Christian with apparently no recognition of the first theme in Jesus' preaching: repentance.
As far as I can tell, Donald Trump believes in nothing except Donald Trump. According to him, he has the world's greatest memory, one of the world's best brains, a more than adequate penis, and an easy answer for every one of the nation's problems. What he obviously does not have is humility.
The leaders of the party of Lincoln, Theodore Roosevelt, and Mark Hatfield should be ashamed—not that Trump has won the party's nomination; Trump won the nomination, given the nature of the process. What is shameful is their willingness to stand shoulder to shoulder with Trump in the hope of temporary electoral success. There are greater principles at stake here. Republican leaders must repudiate Trumpism; if the price is electoral defeat, so be it.
Donald Trump is now the titular head of the Republican Party. Therefore I cannot be a Republican. I hope to someday return to the fold, but not until the party has repaired this disaster.


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The Rotary Club of Madras East (RCME) will donate critical operation theatre equipments as a part of its Global Grant Project to Public Health Centre, West Mambalam on November 6th 2017 (Monday) in the presence of the Health Secretary Dr. J. Radhakrishnan, IAS. This project also includes conducting 2 outreach programmes to women and children in the marginalised communities around the area.
The total estimate cost will be a total of US$ 60,000 approximately. The equipments will include 2 Operation Theatre tables, 2 LED ceiling mounted operating lights, 1 high end anaesthesia machine, 2 high end patient monitors, defibrillator, Operating Head Light and some instruments.
© Copyright 2009, India News Reel (P) Ltd. All rights reserved.Contact
Us, firstname.lastname@example.com


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Define Range Binary Option
Binary Options Trading and Hedging
hi and welcome to the binary optionstrading tutorial this is Steve Wise and today we're going to talkabout the binary options hedge with a call and a put position and i just like to remind you that this tutorial and audio content and theslides therein are the property of binaryoptionbroker
and we're distributing this on so follow the guidelines on to usethis tutorial if you want redistributed and just bear in mind the rules andregulations with regarded to using it. all right so with that out of the way let's get started so let's take a look at a couple slidesi've made this first slide is
your basic naked binary option trade and what we've done here is we've takena binary option call on google we'vetaken a two hundred dollar position with a strike price at five seventy seven fifty per share that's what it was at the time i madethis slide in and made this discussion all the numbers all the details of thistrade that we talk about are covered on the website binaryoptionbroker
and you'll find all the information inall the all the percentages and what have you uh. there so if you have any questions about what thenumbers are and what they are meeting where they all came from that's all is going on the website but what i want to talk about in this tutorialis that this kind of position taking a nakedcall
binary option is very risky in it's not the kind of investment that isee as uh. a favorable one for you theinvestor and the reason why i say that is because there's so much downside risk and noprotection if things go awry and that's not the kind of trade iadvocate what i prefer to do
is i'd prefer to pair my binary option with another option either another security another optionanother binary option the underlying security itself maybe i already only underlying securityand i'm trying to make up some profit on that uh. taking advantage of market movementdownside upside what have you
How Do I Trade Binary Options Nadex
You can break it down into fivesimple steps. First, you need to have some opinion onwhat might happen to a particular market at a particular point in time. There areplenty to choose from. Nadex offers binary options on a huge range of themost heavily traded forex, stock indices and commodities markets.Over 2400 contracts daily. So, after you decide which marketyou're interested in, let's say you're into commodities thencome step 2. Time to choose an asset. Exciting. We'll look at gold. We're alreadyalmost halfway done.
Amazing. Next, decide your moment of truth. That means selecting a strike price andan hourly, daily or weekly expiration. In other words, the exact price in time that you wanna make your prediction for. So if you choose 1:30pm today, then at1:30pm today, your trade will expire, and you'll know whether you made aprofit. Step 4, select a direction. Meaning if you think goldwill be higher than this amount at 1:30pm, you choose buy.If you think it will be lower, sell.
See how there's the maximum profitand maximum loss listed with the price of the contracté Yep, you'll always know how much moneyyou can lose or gain. That is called full disclosure. No surprises.With step 5, you've got options. You can either wait for the contract toexpire, or close out early. Yep, with Nadex, after you place a trade,you can change your mind. Close early to limit losses or lock ingains. And, well, that's it. I wasn't joking. Fivesimple steps