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Ever since this morning, InDesign keeps crashing within a few seconds of launching when I try to open a particular file of 60MB for a project I'm working on. It shows the file but when I click anything it crashes. Other files still work.
Things that I've tried:
.deleting the preferences from Library and restarting InDesign
.downloading the new creative cloud version of InDesign to replace the CS5.5 version the file was created with
.restarting the computer in safe boot and normally
try exporting to .idml. See Remove minor corruption by exporting


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The boy and I are watching one of those half hour sitcoms, aimed at tweens. On the show, there is a stock "nerd" (glasses, plaid shirt, flood pants), who is bemoaning his lack of a girlfriend.
"Poor dude", sympathizes the 6 year old. "I hope I can get a girlfriend one day."
(Methinks I feel an opportunity for a lesson here.)
"What do you think is the most important thing to look for in a girlfriend? Would you rather have a girlfriend who is pretty, or smart?"
"Well, both."
(Hmm, that makes sense. But I'm trying to make a point, here.)
"Yeah, but if you had to choose between a girl who was pretty but not smart, or a smart girl who wasn't as pretty, which one do you think you'd choose?"
"The smart girl." No hesitation. That's his final answer. I'm elated. All my subtle lessons have paid off; he's turning out exactly the way I want him to!
"And why is that?"
"She would do my homework."
(Image is from here.)

subset: commoncrawl


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This post is part of the Pagan Blog Project. It's the second one for the letter C, and it's almost on time.
I've tried to tackle the subject of shamanic practice as a choice vs. shamanism as a calling for a while now, and I don't think I'm done pondering it. Nevertheless, I figured I'd post this as a sort of random waypoint on my path of making up my mind about this. Maybe writing it "out loud" will help me clarify some of it. If this seems contradictory or unclear that's because this is how my thoughts look right now. Please expect some detours and maybe a dead-end or two along the way.
When I first got in touch with shamanism as something Western people practiced, it was in the shape of someone close to me who attended several classes of the European branch of the Foundation for Shamanic Studies (FSS), whose work is based on Michael Harner's understanding of "core shamanism." As I understood it from that person's explanations and my later reading of Harner's book The Way of the Shaman (first published in 1980), this "core shamanism" was supposed to be a non-culture specific collection of shamanic techniques and a quasi-universal framework for using them. Harner apparently derived the basic contents of his "core shamanism" from his anthropological studies of shamanic cultures in various parts of the world, where he found many aspects that seemed similar across cultures and therefore suggested to him that there was some underlying common ground to all of them. His idea was to avoid appropriating any specific culture and instead take the bare bones of the methods and teach them to other Westeners as a basis from which to develop/discover their own specific shamanic worldview.
At first, that sounded pretty good to me. After all, I knew there had been way too many Westerners already who had taken elements of other cultures' spiritualities and used them completely out of context. Not only was that a politically problematic thing to do (colonialist exploitation, anyone?), but I also couldn't help doubting that methods appropriate for people living in a totally different environment really worked more or less the same for Westeners in a thoroughly urban setting. So taking nothing but the culture-free techniques seemed like a good alternative to that. And unlike a gazillion New-Age crackpots whose writings I had encountered already, Harner seemed at least to have some kind of understanding of the problems that come with the Western use of non-Western culture. That alone seemed a lot in comparison.
Nevertheless, I remained skeptical about the FSS workshops I heard and read about. If nothing else, they seemed way to large to me – how would any teacher be able to even notice every student's needs (not to mention their hangups, issues, and possibly even characteristics that made them thoroughly unfit for that kind of work) in a weekend workshop with fifty participants? Or even twenty? I also didn't like the idea that after the workshop people were basically left to their own devices. How would any teacher be able to remain available to their students should something come up when they usually didn't even live in the same area, and were off to the next twenty-person workshop (or their own private practice or whatever else they did when they didn't hold workshops) a month later? To be fair, I did hear of some FSS teachers who told their students that there might be unexpected aftereffects and to get in touch with them if they experienced any problems as a result of the workshop, but I have no idea how many students took them up on that offer and how they then dealt with that. But the more famous their name, the more in demand they were, the less individual attention they seemed to be able to offer their students. (Mind you, this is my very own outside perspective that doesn't necessarily mirror how the students themselves experienced the workshops.)
I'm not sure where I initially got the idea that shamanic work wasn't just something one could play around with, but apparently I had (and have) a strong belief that one should be properly informed and prepared before taking any steps in a shamanic direction. I suppose the idea must go back a long time because I've felt the same about drug use, tattoos, ouija boards, extreme sports, or BDSM practices going back to at least my teenage years: If it alters your state of consciousness or has the potential to permanently change your body, you better know very well what you're doing. Maybe it's just an expression of a desire to stay in control on my part, but I believe in taking calculated risks. (Which doesn't mean I've never had any not-so-pretty experiences in any of these areas. It just means that I knew what to do if a heretofore unknown boundary had been crossed inadvertantly. And often it simply meant that I stayed away from something altogether because I wasn't ready to risk the worst-case scenario of what might have happened as a consequence.)
Oh, and while I'm definitely able to suspend my disbelief about a whole bunch of strange things if I trust the person who is telling me about experiencing them (e.g. talking to the Dead, seeing illnesses, shamanic healing of conditions termed incurable by Western medicine), I usually reserve actual, true belief for things I've experienced myself (e.g. non-binary gender, pain as pleasure, energy body parts or energetic shapeshifting, divination). There's a lot that I consider to be theoretically possible, but I also know that people sometimes make up stuff they haven't actually experienced/witnessed for many reasons. All in all, this general skepticism means I often just file away reports of extraordinary experiences other people claim to have had into the huge "maybe" archive unless I have good reason to turn them over to the "no, I don't believe this happened to this person in this way" folder or the "yes, I believe that" one.
I can't reconstruct which queer-trans-BDSM-spiritual link exactly led me to Raven Kaldera, but I eventually found him and some of his books and his many web presences. I don't remember what piece of his writing I read first (Hermaphrodeities maybe?), but ever since my first encounter with his stuff I've had a thoroughly ambivalent opinion of what he had to say and the way he said it. He certainly deserves credit for speaking about difficult topics that I don't see mentioned anywhere else (or didn't, back when I started reading him). More specifically in terms of shamanism, he also deserves credit for pointing out that things are often difficult, dangerous, and not necessarily even the completely free choice of the practitioner/shaman (let's not get into linguistics here just yet). I truly cherish his voice as a welcome deviance from the mass of other voices who claim to be able to teach "shamanism" in just a short weekend seminar or three, that every single one of us is able to learn this kind of stuff, that becoming good at it is largely a matter of practice, and that there really isn't anything to fear as long as you have your Animal Guide with you (which often you just "fetched" only a few short minutes or hours ago). With that kind of context, an emphasis on the dangers and difficulties of shamanic practices really is badly needed. I also like his general non-nonsense approach and his dedication to making information available, no matter how controversial it might be.
Among the many things written by Kaldera I read over the past ten (or so) years, some of his texts particularly stuck with me. One of them is his comparison of shamanic practitioners and shamans. The main difference for him doesn't seem to be whether one practices shamanism in a Western or a tribal culture, but the amount of choice (or lack thereof) one has about practicing at all. I recommend reading his article in full, but I'll give a brief summary here.
What Kaldera terms "classic shamanism" and "shaman" refers to people who were chosen by Spirits to do this kind of work. They always experience some kind of serious physical or psychological illness at the beginning (so serious that there is a true risk of them ending up mad, dead, or both). They can't just refuse and walk away from shamanic work whenever they feel like it without suffering serious consequences (see above: mad, dead, or both). And finally, they predominantly act in a position of service to both the Spirits (of a specific cultural context) and some kind of community.
In comparison, what Kaldera terms "core shamanism" and "shamanic practitioners" refers to people who basically keep their ability to choose when, where, how often, for whom, and even if they want to do any kind of shamanic work. There may be some minor ill effects from breaking deals with specific Spirits or stopping the practice altogether, but nothing serious. Shamanic practice may be a path of service or mainly a source of income, it may serve a community or just the practitioner themselves, it may be culture-specific or not. Generally, it's all a lot less binding.
It should be said, however, that he implies no value judgment of the general abilities of shamanic practitioners, although it is hard not to notice his own preference for "classic shamans."
A few years after I read this article for the first time, I met Mi-Shell Jessen, the first (and so far only) person I personally know whom I would call a "classic shaman" by Kaldera's definition. She has become one of my most important (if rather informal) spiritual teachers, and a cherished friend as well. After meeting her, I can't pretend I don't notice the difference between her as a shaman/Kham and other shamanic practitioners I've met. It's not like she's a perfect human being due to that, or that she never makes any mistakes – in fact, she'll be the first to tell you about her imperfections. However, unlike Kaldera, who seems much interested in keeping the "wrong" people out from his corner of the world, she seems to be focused instead on finding common ground even with people unlike herself instead of drawing lines between most kinds of "us" and "them" (I won't speculate about the reasons for that because I know neither of them well enough to do so – if these are indeed facts and not just subjective perceptions). If nothing else, that makes her more accessible to me, which I've benefitted greatly from. But, yeah, Kaldera still has a point with that distinction between shamanic practitioners and shamans he makes.
So where does my own practice come into the picture here? Well. I asked a lot of questions about the FSS workshops and about other experiences of people I knew who said they used some kind of shamanic practices. I think I also eventually read The Way of the Shaman. The basic idea of journeying didn't seem all too difficult to learn but I hesitated… for a long time. I fretted over the "right" starting place for journeying. I fretted over "what if it doesn't work?," and I fretted about "what if it does work?" Eventually, I used a CD that came with an introductory book on shamanism (inspired by Harner's work but not directly authored by him or an FSS member). It seemed okay enough and incidentally also made a distinction between shamanic practitioners and shamans – which seems to be the norm with FSS-related material, by the way. I hated the extended narrative on the CD, and when the journeying part finally was supposed to begin, nothing much happened. I concluded I was a shamanic failure and left it at that for a long time.
A while later, I took a class on "chakra harmonization" because it was taught by a then-friend who seemed trustworthy enough for me to even venture into the territory of spirituality or energy work-related classes. Amongst some other things, we learned to do a certain kind of visualizations there, and during one of those an animal appeared rather unexpectedly for me. I was very moved and impressed by that but couldn't find any useful guidance about what I had experienced in that workshop or from that person. That didn't help with my perceived readiness to explore energy-work or spirituality much further, so I focused on reading tarot again and let everything else fall aside.
But I still felt drawn to shamanism, if only because I often react with "I'll show you!" to an initial failure. So, after some more fretting, I asked someone close to me to journey to bring me a "Power Animal" like they had learned to do in the FSS seminars. I'm not sure what I was hoping for, but I didn't get it. Instead, I got an animal that made sense on some level but that didn't really stick around for long. I suppose I'm at least partly to blame for that because I never really believed it was truly "mine" to work with. Well, if nothing else, this experience taught me to do these kinds of things myself and not try and let someone else do the difficult work for me.
Eventually, I tried journeying on my own again. I had someone a little more experienced next to me (that close person I spoke of), but we each did our own thing. My stated intent was to take a first peek at the Lower World to get to know it a little (you may realize that I'm still using core shamanic terms here because I acted within that framework back then and still lack more accurate and more specific terms to describe what I experienced). Well, I ended up being beheaded, burnt and eaten by Spirits during that very first "real" journey I took (and that's pretty much the kind of stuff that happened during every single journey I did since then – which weren't all too many, mind you). So what do I do with that? Of course, being skeptical as I am, I immediately questioned this experience. Maybe I had just read too many accounts of the significance of dismemberment journeys and now my mind/unconsciousness made up variations of the theme over and over again… And, if it was actually for real, what did that mean about my shamanic abilities? And why on earth did I even worry about that since I was pretty clear that becoming a professional shamanic practitioner (let alone a shaman) wasn't even something I secretly dreamed of?!
I think it was at that point that I started reading more. But most of the stuff I came across either just repeated Harner's core shamanic beliefs (which offered nothing helpful to me) or was so "out there" that I couldn't see a relation to my own life and experiences. Not to mention the endless parade of people tacking the "shamanic" label onto everything even remotely related to nature and spirituality. Which left me in a strange kind of territory: core shamanism didn't seem to offer what I was looking for (or maybe I just didn't find the right practitioners of it because those people were busy doing their work instead of posting stuff on the internet or writing books) and classic shamanism seemed completely out of my league.
I still eventually took a basic class with the European branch of the Foundation for Shamanic Studies, taught by this guy. I told myself I would be then able to use it to take advanced classes with the FSS later, should I want to do so. After already resigning myself to not being able to participate due to signing up when the class was already full, I still managed to get into the class via the waiting list, so I figured it was indeed the right thing to do for me. I'm afraid I can't say too many positive things about this particular class and teacher, though. While we were explicitly told that we wouldn't learn how to be a shaman in that class (or any of the FSS), we were all too soon doing exercises where one of us was called the "shaman" and the other the "client" or "patient" and our work was referred to as "shamanizing." This may have been sheer verbal laziness on the part of the teacher, but it did nothing to keep up any distinction between us and other shamanic practitioners or shamans. We were also taught that everyone was able to journey, although not everyone might be able to do so on their first try. Those that didn't manage to journey were basically left alone and told they should try again later. At some point someone asked if we should always do what the Spirits told us, and we were told to please use our common sense. I tried to bring up the idea of serving the Spirits instead of the other way round (because I still don't believe that any Spirit is just sitting around like a bored waiter waiting for us to show up so they can take our orders or that they work with us for completely selfless reasons), but that line of thought was first ridiculed (by making me appear as if I would stupidly follow any instructions by any Spirit no matter what) and then quickly ended (mostly because I decided it was pointless to further discuss this point in this context). And don't get me started on one of the songs we learned there, which goes like this: "I have spirits, spirits have I (repeated 3x); I, I, I" – that's way too much "I"/ego for my taste (and no, I don't "have" Spirits, even though I may carelessly say so in some spoken discussion – but I certainly won't sing it to them)!
Oh well. I still learned a whole lot of things. Mostly that these kinds of classes are definitely not the right way for me to learn any of this (I'd rather muddle along on my own). And what aspects of Western teaching of shamanic practices I find highly problematic, especially now that I have experienced them myself. I'm just glad that I waited so long before I took that class and that I had already encountered some other perspectives on shamanism before I did. (To be fair, I've met other people who took FSS classes who were able to focus on the beneficial aspects of them much more than I was. Their accounts therefore are rather different from mine. So I don't claim any objective truth here.)
So I come back to Kaldera (and by now also Galina Krasskova and some others who seem connected to them in some way) again and again, for reasons still not entirely clear to me. I often leave these pages (digital and printed) both impressed/delighted/inspired and alienated/furious/hurt (going by a quote Kaldera often uses – "'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds" – I suppose he'd count that as a success). And I kept wondering: Could I even be a serious shamanic practitioner if I didn't experience some kind of dramatic shamanic initiation similar to what Kaldera's "classic shamans" experienced? Assuming I was given the choice, would I pay that kind of price? And then, again: Why was I even worrying about that when I had no desire whatsoever of becoming any kind of Spirit worker beyond my own personal practice?
Well. I do have very high standards for myself (which I often fail to meet), so I don't usually measure myself against average people in any area – not even where it would be highly appropriate for me to do so. But being mediocre just won't do. So I look towards the most serious practitioners/shamans I could find – and of course find myself lacking. I worry about a potential step #357 of a "shamanic path" when I haven't even taken step #3 – which is probably not surprising given that I rarely learn things in their proper sequence and often jump in at around step #15 and pick up the basics I missed somewhere along the way, usually without anyone ever noticing my haphazard ways.
On some days I think I should just come to terms with the not unlikely possibility that I might indeed be spiritually/shamanically mediocre. Not completely head-blind (yes, I read a lot of Marion Zimmer Bradley as a young adult), not entirely useless in that area, but also, for once, most certainly not among the best in an area I'm actually interested in. That in itself would probably teach me a whole lot of valuable lessons.
I am certainly not ready to serve any community in any spiritual function (if you don't count sharing my thoughts in online spaces, which for the purposes of this argument I indeed don't count). From what I hear, I should be grateful for every day that the choice about my path remains firmly my own. As a result of what I've seen and read about the work and life of a "classic shaman" in the Western world (or elsewhere), I'm actually taking great care not to send out an accidental wish to the Universe to "make me a shaman." At the same time, I still occasionally worry that I'll never be good enough to do that kind of work – and I'm not even sure it's only my ego that's speaking there. And even while I worry I'm also sure that the worrying is pretty pointless: If I believe that the Spirits pick the shaman, and the shaman doesn't have all too much to say in that deal, then it won't be my choice anyway whether I am ever called for that job. Because that's exactly the point about a calling, isn't it: lack of choice.
So I keep reading/listening and struggling. And every time I find a little snippet of something that has some practical application in my own life as it currently is. And then there's Mi-Shell Jessen again, who reminds me in a positive-sounding way that there is a lot of inhabitable space between not having a spiritual life at all (which is where I originally started at) and being a full-blown shaman. Not to mention that growing into a shamanic worldview as an adult may take some time, and that I've still just started out on my path. In other words, don't obsess about where this is leading you but be present for the path as such.
Either way it can't hurt to learn more, just in case someone else needs this or that skill at some point. And really, truly studying something is also a skill I never acquired. It just wasn't necessary. I usally pick up more than enough by passing through, by skimming, by transferring knowledge from other areas, by thumbing through, by looking over people's shoulders, and occasionally by asking a few questions and experimenting a bit on my own. And I'm not saying that to brag, I'm just neutrally describing my usual mode of operation. And this is exactly why I'm so proud that I've actually developed a nearly-daily spiritual practice (even though I regularly doubt that I'm doing it "right"). To pick up my drum every morning and do at least a short round of prayer(?) to the directions/elements, my Ancestors, and the main Animal Guides I have encountered so far, even if I can't really focus, even when I'm already late, even when I have to skip breakfast to still be able to leave the house on time, even when I'm sure no one is really listening is a huge accomplishment for me.
Believe me, I've questioned the way I'm doing it countless times. Is it appropriate to use a melody from a song of an unremembered source (possibly Native American)? Is it appropriate to use English words even though my first language is German, I live in Germany, and my Ancestors are at least predominantly German as well? Am I using the right elemental and other associations for the directions? Which Spirit Animals do I include in my song (all of them that ever appeared to me on a journey or otherwise? only the main two ones? the main two plus any recent appearances?)? Etc. But for now I've decided that it is better to go ahead with something unfinished and thoroughly imperfect (another lesson for me!) than to pause everything until I have figured out what spiritual tradition I actually belong to.
And this is something I am grateful for when it comes to the Harner kind of "core shamanism" I encountered: it enabled me to learn a basic method for journeying into the Spirit World without having to pick/find the right specific culture/tradition first. One may of course question the value and realness of the experiences I've made so far (in fact, I've done that myself countless times!), and I'm probably still guilty of lacking basic protection skills when it comes to journeying. But still I feel I have something to start with. Because apparently spiritual learning and explorations don't always follow the ideal path of learning each step after another, at least not for me.
That said, I haven't journeyed for months now, ever since I took that FSS workshop. In fact, that's been nearly a year now. I keep wondering about that tradition thing and I've come to the conclusion that I need some kind of framework/cosmology that I can use without feeling that I'm just borrowing someone else's stuff because I don't have any of my own. So maybe it makes sense for me not to journey at all right now (although it's not a conscious choice, it just "doesn't happen"). Maybe it makes sense that I'm pondering my Ancestors so much lately. After all, that's the one starting point that Galina Krasskova recommends strongly in her own blog (I'm still reading my way through her archive, which is definitely worth it, and I'm still slowly taking a small step or two towards following some of her advice), and it does make sense to me. I'm still not sure how to get in touch with my Ancestors (or, somewhat relatedly, the Spirits of the Land I'm living on) without outright journeying but I hope I'll find a suitable way. I've also decided that it won't hurt if I learn a little bit about Germanic/Norse mythology because it does seem wrong to just give up this territory to the Nazis (old and new). I have no idea if I will eventually find my spiritual home in that area but if nothing else I will learn interesting new things.
So I guess my main question at this time is this: What do you do as someone interested in an animistic/shamanic worldview and practice who does seem to have a choice about things and still doesn't want to be an idiot about it? After all, having a choice doesn't necessarily make things easier in terms of making good choices – and especially because I have a choice I'd rather not exploit people or other living beings (including Spirits), act stupidly and/or disrespectfully, and generally do things "wrong"… Your thoughts and ideas are – as always – welcome!
For further insight into the debate about "core/Western shamanism" and "classic/indigenous shamanism" see these articles. I'm sure there are many more but these are the ones I came across recently, so these are the ones you get.
- Galina Krasskova: "My interview with Kenaz Filan, author of 'The Power of the Poppy'" (see especially the comments section)
- Kenaz Filan: "On Michael Harner I: Culture, Reductionism and Spirituality" (spin-off from the debate on Krasskova's blog)
Kenaz Filan: "On Michael Harner II: Danger and Protection"
- Sarenth: "On Michael Harner's Core Shamanism" (part 1) (guest contribution on Galina Krasskova's blog)
Sarenth: "On Michael Harner's Core Shamanism" (part 2)
- Kristin: "PBP 04: Core Shamanism, Callings, and Community" (an article for the Pagan Blog Project)
[Edited to add (17 February 2012): Corrected some grammar mistakes today.]


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[WATCH] MGMT – "Plenty of Girls In the Sea" 9/11/2013 Jimmy Fallon
Loudster Co | September 13, 2013 - 5:18 am
MGMT performed "Plenty of Girls In the Sea" on the Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. The song off the band forthcoming self-titled album. Watch the performance below:
MGMT is out on 9/17/2013 via Columbia. Buy on iTunes/Amazon
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Upcoming Events - Updated 15th Dec 2014!!
An Riocht Dinner Dance on Saturday 24th January in the Downshire Arms, Hilltown. Tickets on sale, a perfect Christmas gift for those hard to buy for! Presentations to Senior Camogs League Winners, Minor Footballers Feis Winners, Young Player of the Year, Club Volunteer of the Year, plus Players of the Year Awards.
At the end of February there will be a chance to get your cowboy boots on as we are having a Fancy Dress Barn Dance with a difference at Dunavil!!
In May/June we are having our second Charity Cycle. Kingdom to ? ???? Ideas are welcome as to a suitable venue and also suggestions for the Charity to benefit. Last year's cycle helped raise £4,000 for Southern Area Hospice. Please contact Tara on 07921 829 544 with any suggestions.
In the past two years we have raised over £10,000 for charitable causes.
October will see Kingdom Go Strictly Crazy for a third time. We already have some dancers who are willing tostrut their stuff, if you are interested in taking part please contact one of the fund raising committee.
We are always looking for new ideas, if you have any suggestions or ideas to help raise funds for our club, please feel free to come along to our next fund raising meeting at 7.30pm on Monday 12th January.
Scor Na nOg takes place on Friday 7th November
An Riocht has entries in recitation, singing and quiz in Scor Na nOg which takes place on Friday 7th November.
Social Initiative Group are going to Dublin to visit Glasnevin Cemetery
On Monday 3rd November the Social Initiative Group are going to Dublin to visit Glasnevin Cemetery & Museum leaving Dunavil at 10am. See Tom Cunningham to book your seat.
Monday 3rd November the Social Initiative
On Monday 3rd November the Social Initiative Group are going to Dublin to visit Glasnevin Cemetery & Museum leaving Dunavil at 10am; see Tom to book your seat.
Breakfast Club
An Riocht/Kingdom Outreach invites you to come along to the Breakfast Club for a chat and a bite every Sunday morning at 10.30am.
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Gubernatorial Waste
The dangers of carrying on with copied versions, I mean the Westminster model, far removed from reality is a great danger to the society. It has produced only bureaucratic blocks without good administration, political power brokers instead of leaders, vote capturing populist pranks instead of economic and developmental programs and above all it has created the sickening quasi royal figureheads in the states called governors who are kept afloat along with their entire entourage at enormous cost to the exchequer. These figureheads are kept aloof by protocol , installed by political manipulators and treated like animated icons and above all they enjoy a dangerously unreasonable and unknowable power because it is:- a] without responsibility and accountability; b] they need to give their final assent to many vital and crucial activities; c] they need not participate in the quinquennial jubilee; d]above all they enjoy legal immunity e] tax payers money is squandered for their pageant and pomp; F] these supposedly neutered monarchs walk scot free with their unquestioned extra constitutional authority and unfortunately no intellect or politician has the gall to question this waste of exchequers money
We must know one thing that history has never forgiven any race or nation that has refused to make the decisive break or effect the necessary change. Unfortunately, now it is least possible to expect any change from the present cabinet as even the PRIME MINISTER is inducted and not elected. All the right thinking people must unite and start the process to do away with this enormous waste.we need to develop a more liberal outlook, by liberal outlook I do not mean activities that please the media opinions or that seeks an approval from US , unfortunately these two factors seem to decide even many of our policy decisions. I mean by liberal outlook what Bertrand Russel wrote " The essence of liberal outlook lies not in what opinions are held,but in how they are held;instead of being held dogmatically they are held tentatively and with a conscience that new evidence may at any moment lead to their abandonment" Are we liberal in this sense.


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Warrior Custom Golf / phone calls - investment opportunity?
I got the free hybrid card in the mail. Called the number. Salesman was incredibly smooth, sucked me in. As soon as I got off the phone, however I felt sick to my stomach the way the salesman talked, and was already trying to pitch me on all kinds of clubs, packages.., I felt like I needed to go online and see what all the hype was as I'd never heard of these guys. I about crapped when I saw all the complaints, so I immediately called my bank to cancel my card (as a debit card). But it was too late. I called them back and said I didn't want the free club, the lady I talked to this time said they didn't even have a record of the order, but she would make sure it didn't get processed and no club would be shipped... ya right. The next day my card had been charged. So at this point, I had reduced the damage to only being charged the $25 shipping fee. So then (8 weeks later) the club arrived with regular flex after I was assured by the salesman it would be stiff flex. I'm a 11 handicap player. Took it to the range, and it just sucked, everthing about it was cheap, from the shaft to the clubhead, even the paint was already chipped on the head edges. Regardless, this complaint is about the phone calls afterwards. The most recent phone call was a pitch to me to invest in a golf course in my area that was going to be built... Where do these people come from? The phone call started out as "I am not trying to sell you any golf clubs, so don't worry." "Let me ask you a question?" "What would you say to someone who put $5000 into an investment and 3 years later had $20, 000?" Of course I responded, "He made a good investment.". Then he said they were raising money for a new golf course opening up and wanted to give me the opportunity to make this kind of return. I said I don't have any money to invest, and why would they be calli... (hung up on me). Don't ever think these guys have your best interest or will ever do what they say they will. Lies.
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- Warrior Custom Golf - golf club
- Warrior Custom Golf/Holiday Grab Bag - absolutely free holiday grab bag [1]
- Warrior Custom Golf - marketing practices [4]
- Warrior Custom Golf - warrior clubs are actually great clubs [1]
- Warrior Custom Golf - shady dealers [1]


text:
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text:
Today, I have set up two mini provocations. An office in the family play space and some duplo blocks outside.
I like the office because it introduces a different stage for new stories to be played out on. Less tea party more office drama!
I set up the duplo blocks very simply by colour, (Rainbow style). It is my thinking that the simple presentation will allow the children to bring their own design to the blocks. It could be a train track or it could be towers. Really it could be anything.
I am excited to see what the children will bring with them to these two provocations.
-36.770649 174.718197


text:
Czeslaw Milosz
Meaning - Poem by Czeslaw Milosz
When I die, I will see the lining of the world.
The other side, beyond bird, mountain, sunset.
The true meaning, ready to be decoded.
What never added up will add Up,
What was incomprehensible will be comprehended.
- And if there is no lining to the world?
If a thrush on a branch is not a sign,
But just a thrush on the branch? If night and day
Make no sense following each other?
And on this earth there is nothing except this earth?
- Even if that is so, there will remain
A word wakened by lips that perish,
A tireless messenger who runs and runs
Through interstellar fields, through the revolving galaxies,
And calls out, protests, screams.
Comments about Meaning by Czeslaw Milosz
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Read poems about / on: sunset, world, night, running
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Do Not Stand At My Grave And Weep
Mary Elizabeth Frye


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Thursday, September 22, 2011
Episode #197: Superman Family Comic Book Cover Dated August 1956: Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #14!
Mike's Amazing World Of DC Comics lists Otto Binder as the writer of the first and third stories in this issue, and leaves the author of the second story unknown. The Grand Comic Book Database lists Otto Binder as the writer of the second story also. DC's slogan contest for 5,000 prizes was promoted on the cover, as well as most of their other titles this month.
The first story of the issue was 8 pages long, with the very non-PC title The Feats Of Chief Super-Duper. It began with Clark and Jimmy doing research at the Metropolis Indian Museum, for a Sunday feature on a legendary Lost Tribe. They were struck by the resemblance to Jimmy on one of the totem poles, created by the Ravensfoot tribe about Chief Super-Duper.
Later, Superman took Jimmy through the time barrier to the Old West of the 1800's. Superman flew through some salt flats, creating enough turbulence to throw dust into the air and seed the clouds to bring rain to a drought stricken area.
Superman dropped Jimmy off near the Ravensfoot Tribe's village, as he left to search for the Lost Tribe. Jimmy entered the village as a bolt of lightning struck behind him, fulfilling a tribal prophesy of the return of a Great Hero.
Jimmy introduced himself as Chief Super-Duper and attempted to play the role of a hero for the tribe.
When the Black Tomahawk Tribe approached, who had been on the warpath against the Ravensfoot Tribe
in the past. Jimmy quickly made a pair of stilts and approached the Black Tomahawks as the Ravensfoot Giant Warrior. He fell off the stilts when they stuck in the sand. The Black Tomahawks were insulted, because they had planned to trade with the Ravensfoot tribe, and decided to take their trade elsewhere.
Jimmy's second attempt at doing a super deed for the Ravensfoot tribe was to build a pair of giant tom-toms so that the tribe could use them to communicate long range. Unfortunately, the tom-toms were so loud that it made the tribe's babies cry and caused a herd of bison to stampede through the village, destroying it.
His third attempt at a super deed was to have the tribe build a giant canoe which needed100 braves to paddle. It worked fine until the river narrowed between two cliffs and the giant canoe broke apart on the rocks.
Superman finally found the Lost Tribe, trapped in a valley because of an earthquake. He smashed a new path to freedom for them.
The Ravensfoot tribe presented the totem pole with Chief Super-Duper to Jimmy, but instead of a token of appreciation, it was to ward off his evil spirit after the calamities that struck the tribe. It was their way of telling Jimmy to leave and don't let the door hit him in the butt on the way out.
Superman swooped up Jimmy at super speed so that it appeared to the tribe that he vanished in a blink. The Man of Steel and a dejected Jimmy returned to the 20th Century. Later, Clark cheered Jimmy up by presenting him with an award for helping bust up a crime ring with Superman. The award showed Superman and Chief Super-Duper.
While I felt bad for Jimmy, this was a character building story. Jimmy naively assumed that because he was more modern than the tribe in the past, he would automatically be their hero, without knowing their culture or way of life. It was like being a city dweller thinking he knew how to live off the land. Jimmy jumped to conclusions with the Black Tomahawk tribe, and created overly complex solutions of the giant tom-toms and 100 brave canoe. I hope that Jimmy learned that just because he lived in modern times, he didn't know everything. I give this story 4 Superman Capes out of 5.
Later, Clark and Jimmy interviewed an eccentric scientist who demonstrated his latest invention, a machine that would switch personality traits between two people.
After Jimmy knocked the scientist's Miniature Disintegrator (?) out the window, Clark climbed out of the window to retrieve it off the top of the sign which hung on the building under the window. He was afraid the sign wouldn't hold Jimmy's weight, so Clark secretly used his flight power to barely float above the sign. Jimmy assumed that the machine worked. As they left the Scientist's lab, Clark decided to use the situation to help protect his secret identity.
Later, Jimmy covered the flight of an experimental aircraft, but the pilot had not appeared yet. Superman was keeping an eye on Jimmy. Since Jimmy also had a pilot's license, Superman crushed a piece of iron and hurled the particles into the back of Jimmy's coat. The Man of Steel then disguised himself with a suit, hat and beard, and held a briefcase with a magnet inside, standing directly behind Jimmy. The iron particles in Jimmy's coat were drawn to the magnet and kept him from stepping forward. Jimmy thought that the personality machine was working on him again.
After Jimmy went to bed, Superman used his x-ray vision to check on Jimmy, and saw that his Pal had jammed a chair under the doorknob.
The next day, Superman saw Jimmy standing next to a water tower at the training facilities of the metropolis Bears. The Man of Steel knew Jimmy was contemplating climbing the water tower to get a peek at a new star athlete the team had signed. Superman chiseled a slab of rock and chiseled a fake Daily Planet headline, Cub Reporter Hurt Climbing Tower. He flew it over Jimmy slow enough for him to see it, but fast enough that it worked as a subliminal message, so that Jimmy thought better of climbing the tower.
Later, Clark and Jimmy covered an exhibition of experimental robots. One of them, which had spinning blades, became out of control and approached the spectators, when Clark ducked under the spinning blades to deactivate the robot.
After that, Clark decided that Jimmy had had enough, and returned to the inventor's lab. The scientist had lost interest in his personality machine and dismantled it. He was working on his next invention, a way to communicate with ants, and was close to a breakthrough. I don't doubt it.
Superman found Jimmy in a marshy area to interview a uranium miner. Jimmy hesitated walking over a narrow wooden pathway. The Man of Steel used his super breath to push Jimmy across the wooden path. Later, after changing into Clark Kent, informed Jimmy that the machine had been dismantled, he was glad to be back to normal.
This seemed to be another pointless story, with Clark needlessly manipulating his friend to protect his secret identity. Crackpot scientists were a common theme in the 1950's Superman TV show. In this story, Jimmy was as naive as Jack Larson portrayed him on the show.
The story had more crazy silver age solutions, like the iron particles in Jimmy's jacket. I would think that either the particles would just leap to the magnet, or else Jimmy would feel the impact of the particles on the back of his jacket, if they were embedded enough to keep him from stepping forward.
I also had to wonder how the rock slab Superman carved into a newspaper headline would keep from breaking, as fast as Superman needed to fly it above Jimmy.
Finally, I didn't understand Clark's thinking. Unless the machine was going to remain in use, how did he think he could use it to protect his secret identity. Once it was dismantled, he was back to square one in protecting his identity. I'm not a big fan of Let's Fool Jimmy stories, and seeing his low self esteem, so I have to give it 1 Superman Cape out of 5.
Clark Kent returned from an assignment on the Daily Planet's Flying Newsroom. As he landed on top of the Daily Planet building, he was met by Lois Lane. The problem was that, on his return trip, he had stopped to extinguish a big fire. As he changed into his Superman uniform, the right sleeve of his shirt and coat were burned, exposing the blue sleeve of his Superman uniform. Before leaving the helicopter, Clark hid his Superman uniform on the Flying Newsroom and planned to retrieve it later.
Perry ordered Jimmy to cover a trial in a nearby city. To get there on time, Jimmy piloted the Flying Newsroom. He was hit by fog during his flight, and a helicopter blade clipped a mountain cliff. Jimmy managed to make a safe landing, but discovered that his signal watch malfunctioned again. (Jimmy really needs to have it fixed. When he searched the Flying Newsroom for some warm clothes, he only found the Superman uniform Clark had hidden aboard.
While the Superman uniform didn't fit, being invulnerable it was well insulated. The cape served as a warm hood to keep his head warm. Jimmy made his way down the mountain, and met a mountain family, who thought he was Superman. To show his super strength, they asked Jimmy to pull out a tree stump. Jimmy was happy to oblige, if only to prove that he wasn't the Man of Steel. By coincidence, a boulder rolled down the hill and dislodged the stump, but the mountain family thought that Super Jimmy had done it himself since they didn't see the boulder.
The family Jimmy first met showed him country hospitality by cooking him a big meal. He took a few minutes to fiddle with his signal watch to see if he could fix it. While he had his back turned, a bear reached through a window and ate everything on the table, then ran off. When the lady of the house returned to the kitchen, she thought Jimmy had polished off the meal already. Just so he would fill his empty stomach with something, Jimmy asked for dessert. That only confirmed to her that his super appetite meant that Jimmy was Superman.
The news quickly spread throughout Hogfoot Hollow, or Holler, as we say down here in the South. The Mayor wanted Super Jimmy to marry his daughter, Petunia. But first, scare off a bear that had been stealing their food. This might have been the same bear that stole Jimmy's meal. Jimmy gladly marched into the bear's cave, if only to prove to everyone that he wasn't really Superman. His plan backfired when the bear rushed out of the cave, and didn't stop running. What only Jimmy knew was that a skunk had scared the bear out of the cave, but there was no convincing everyone that he was Superman.
Moose Morton, Petunia's jilted suitor, and the biggest man in Hogfoot Hollow, challenged Superman. Jimmy was glad to see him. Taking a beating was worth the price of getting out of the wedding.
Just then, Clark appeared in the skies over Hogfoot Hollow, following the flight path of the Flying Newsroom under cover of a fog that covered Metropolis. Just as Moose was about to clobber Jimmy with a thick branch, he saw Clark flying behind everyone else and dropped the wood as he fainted.
Petunia's five brothers got Jimmy dressed in his tuxedo. As Jimmy marched to his doom, I mean the wedding, a revived Moose approached behind Jimmy, ready to clobber his rival with a large rock. Jimmy slipped on a banana peel dropped by a boy eating the fruit. Moose said that his rock must by "Kryktynite". A quick thinking Jimmy pretended that it was a made a mad dash for freedom.
Clark Kent had been able to secretly retrieve his uniform, and as Superman carried Jimmy back to the Flying Newsroom and eventually Metropolis. At the Daily Planet offices, Jimmy warned Clark not to be caught dead in Superman's uniform. As he looked at the reader, with Jimmy behind him, Clark agreed, but for a different reason.
This story was almost a Jimmy Olsen meets The Beverly Hillbillies, or the Darling family from The Andy Griffith Show, two comedies from my childhood in the 1960's. The plot of this Jimmy Olsen story had a number of plot devices common to stories about hillbillies or country people.
Someone mistook someone or something as something it wasn't, which was the plot for about three fourths of the episodes of The Beverly Hillbillies. In this case, everyone in Hogfoot Hollow thought Jimmy was Superman, since he was wearing his uniform. Check.
The Mayor or the richest man in the area was eager to get his daughter married off, like Mr. Darling of The Andy Griffith Show. The Mayor of Hogfoot Hollow wanted Jimmy to marry his daughter Petunia. Check.
There's always a country boy who's the biggest man around, like Jethro Bodine of The Beverly Hillbillies, and someone who is jealous about someone else marrying the pretty girl. Moose was the biggest man in Hogfoot Hollow, and he was in love with Petunia. Check and Check.
I did have a few nit picks about this story. First of all, if a helicopter blade clipped something, not one blade would be damaged, but all of them. Also, more than likely, Jimmy would have had a hard crash landing, depending on how high he was, and possibly would have faced serious injury.
It didn't make sense that the family would not have heard or seen the boulder roll down the mountain and uproot the tree stump. That was too close for comfort for Jimmy as well. He could have been planted in the ground just as easily as the stump was uprooted.
I did like how Jimmy's plans to prove he wasn't Superman continued to backfire on him , confirming in the minds of everyone in Hogfoot Hollow that he was Superman.
Finally, of course Jimmy never suspected that Clark Kent was Superman, and was more than willing to keep quiet about finding his uniform aboard the Flying Newsroom. I don't think Lois would have been as cooperative.
This was a fun and humorous story, and I give it 4 Superman Capes out of 5.
Elsewhere in DC Comics, 35 titles carried the August or August/September 1956 cover date.
Next Episode: Superman Comic Books Cover Dated October 1959: Superman #132 & Action Comics #257!
In 2 Weeks: Superman Family Comic Books Cover Dated September 1958: Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #15 & World's Finest Comics #84!
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United States District Court, W.D. Wisconsin
June 7, 2017
JOHN KUSLITS, Plaintiff,v.J. ACHTERBERG, G. STEINKE, SGT. ANDERSON and SGT. TEMSKI, Defendants.
BARBARA B. CRABB District Judge.
Pro se
prisoner John Kuslits brought this lawsuit under 42 U.S.C.
§ 1983 against four officials at the Stanley
Correctional Institution, claiming that deficient cleaning
practices and unsanitary conditions in the segregation unit
caused him to become ill and to suffer serious medical harm.
Plaintiff was allowed to proceed on his claim that defendants
J. Achterberg, G. Steinke, Sgt. Anderson and Sgt. Temski
violated his Eighth Amendment rights by failing to maintain
adequate prison conditions, so far as he was seeking
declaratory relief but he was denied leave to proceed on any
claim for damages. Dkt. #3, at 9-11.
the court are defendants' unopposed motions for summary
judgment and judgment on the pleadings. Dkts. ##18 and 19.
Because the undisputed facts show that plaintiff failed to
exhaust his administrative remedies before filing this
action, I will grant defendants' motion for summary
judgment and deny as moot their motion for judgment on the
are seeking judgment as a matter of law on two separate
grounds. First, they move for summary judgment, contending
that plaintiff failed to exhaust his administrative remedies
before filing this suit, as he is required to do under 42
U.S.C. § 1997e. Dkt. #18. Second, they move for judgment
on the pleadings, contending that plaintiff's claims
against defendants acting in their official capacities are
barred by the Eleventh Amendment to the United States
Constitution. Dkt. #19. Defendants supported both motions
with a single brief and the declaration of a Department of
Corrections Complaint Examiner, Welcome Rose. Dkts. ##20 and
did not file a response to either motion. After the deadline
for doing so had expired, defendants' counsel and
Assistant Attorney General Rachel L. Bachhuber submitted
evidence to the court that plaintiff had earlier agreed to
dismiss the case voluntarily and had even drafted a motion
for voluntary dismissal that he sent to her office, but never
filed with this court. Dkt. #23. The assistant attorney
general now asks the court to dismiss the case on that basis.
It appears that plaintiff tried to dismiss his case
voluntarily to avoid having a Prison Litigation Reform Act
"strike" assessed against him for purposes of 28
U.S.C. § 1915(g). Dkt. #23-1. However, plaintiff never
filed a motion for voluntary dismissal with the court.
Without a motion to rule on and with evidence submitted
solely by the assistant attorney general, I am reluctant to
enter a sua sponte dismissal of petitioner's case.
Instead, I will consider the motions that were properly filed
and are now pending.
evidence in support of their motion for summary judgment is
compelling and, in these circumstances, conclusive. The
declaration of complaint examiner Welcome Rose provides
strong evidence that plaintiff failed to properly exhaust his
administrative remedies. Dkt. #21. In particular, this
evidence shows that plaintiff filed one grievance about the
conditions in segregation, but the grievance was rejected as
untimely because it was filed approximately five months after
plaintiff was released from segregation back into the general
population, long past the two-week deadline established by
the prison's administrative grievance procedure.
Id. ¶¶ 5-14. Because plaintiff did not
dispute these facts, I will consider them undisputed for
purposes of summary judgment. Dkt. #10, at 13-15 (pretrial
conference order describing summary judgment process).
is no question that exhaustion is mandatory under the [Prison
Litigation Reform Act] and that unexhausted claims cannot be
brought in court." Jones v. Bock, 549 U.S. 199,
211 (2007). Exhaustion requires the plaintiff to pursue his
administrative remedy procedures properly. "[F]iling an
untimely or otherwise procedurally defective administrative
grievance" may be grounds for dismissal for failure to
properly exhaust. Woodford v.Ngo, 548 U.S. 81, 83-84
(2006); see also Pozo v. McCaughtry, 286 F.3d 1022,
1025 (7th Cir. 2002) ("To exhaust remedies, a prisoner
must file complaints and appeals in the place, and at the
time, the prison's administrative rules require. Pozo
filed a timely and sufficient complaint but did not file a
timely appeal. He therefore failed to exhaust his
administrative remedies, and his federal suit must be
it is undisputed that plaintiff's grievance was untimely
and that plaintiff failed to follow the applicable prison
rules and procedures, I find that plaintiff failed to
properly exhaust his administrative remedies. (Again,
plaintiff does not disagree, dkt. #23-1.) Accordingly, I will
grant defendants' motion for summary judgment and dismiss
plaintiff's claim. The dismissal will be without
prejudice and plaintiff will not incur a "strike"
under 28 U.S.C. § 1915(g). Turleyv. Gaetz, 625
F.3d 1005, 1013 (7th Cir. 2010) ("The dismissal of an
action for failure to exhaust. . . does not incur a
strike."); Williams v. Tobiasz, No.
13-cv-411-bbc, 2013 WL 3929985, at *3 (W.D. Wis. July 29,
I am entering summary judgment in favor of defendants, I need
not address their motion for judgment on the pleadings, which
I will deny as moot.
ORDERED that
Defendants J. Achterberg, G. Steinke, Sgt. Anderson and Sgt.
Temski's motion for summary judgment for failure to
exhaust administrative remedies, dkt. #18, is GRANTED.
Plaintiff John Kuslits's claim for a declaratory judgment
that defendants violated his Eighth Amendment rights by
depriving him of basic safety, sanitation or medical ...
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Mr. Ryan has been playing Santa Claus this week in doling out spending provisions and tax incentives. I didn't know that Santa had such an in with the Federal Reserve and the ability to just continue to print money, but at least a few of these incentives will be a cause of great joy and I expect at least one Hallelujah Chorus will resound from my clients.
In 2007, which seems like a lifetime ago, maybe even in a galaxy far away from here, Congress enacted a provision under section 108 of the Internal Revenue Code that gives relief to those that received relief from their housing lenders. Sometimes that relief came in the form of a principal reduction, that happened like three times ever. The most common way was the house was sold at foreclosure auction or at a short sale and the lender didn't sue the living bejesus out of the now homeless borrower. Thanks for doing a guy a solid, JP, Wells, BOA, and the rest of you guys! You are all swell.
As the adage goes, insult to injury, the swell fellas at the bank send out a greeting card of sorts. Its not a Christmas card, but more of a, "hey we foreclosed, and then we ratted you out to the IRS" type card. The 1099-C that comes in the mail in January, maybe February of the following year tells you that you received a cash benefit for them foreclosing your house and not suing you. Oh, and they send an identical card to the IRS, with all your information on it. So, the IRS then checks its naughty list and sees if you claim that amount on your 1044 tax return. If you don't, you get a nice letter saying you owe thousands of dollars in taxes. Merry Christmas to you in July!
So, back to Mr. Ryan and his stocking stuffer. The proposed packages that rank in the trillions of dollars, which no average human has any capacity to comprehend (seriously, its like touching the mind of God) includes an extender for the 2007 act. This means that you can take your 1044 and attach a form 982 and explain that the Bank Scrouged you and that you don't actually have any money from that transaction wherewith to pay any taxes. The IRS will accept this and you will have Happy Homeless year for 2016.
So, with these glad tidings I bring, I wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. If you have questions about the content of this blasphemous post, please direct them to me at my office or by email. God Bless us Everyone!


text:
Chapter 13
'What's your name?' I asked
The girl turned her head away
'How long have you been here?'
Still she gave me no response
'Are there any others here, or anyone who will be returning?' I didn't expect a response and I didn't get one, but this time she looked straight at me with an icy glare. She couldn't be older than 16, 15 maybe, and she was thin, most likely this place was the first source of food she had found for a few weeks. Part of me sympathised with her, but I knew I could let my guard down regardless of her age or condition. And after some arguing Nicole reluctantly bound her to the bed.
I left the make shift room we had constructed and found Will, Nicole, Brooke, Daniel, and Connor waiting for me. 'Did she say anything?' Connor asked quietly, as if worried she was here
'No,' I answered trying to think
'That's not surprising considering she doesn't have any reason to trust us,' Nicole sighed, she'd obviously tried before
'No it's not like we took care of her and fed her even after she harmed one of our own,' Brooke pitched in sarcastically
I ignored her and turned to Nicole, 'how is she doing?'
'She had a pretty bad cut from some broken metal and, I think, a concussion. She's lucky she didn't lose too much blood there's no way to replace it.'
Brooke walked off shaking her head as the rest of us stood thinking, after a while I suddenly had an idea. 'Connor, you should talk to her,' I suggested a little too enthusiastically
'Me?' Connor pointed to himself confused, 'why? I mean I'm happy to give it a try but interrogation isn't my forte, neither are teenage girls for that matter'
'Weren't you a police officer?' Will joked
'Yeah, an officer not a detective'
'No that's what I mean,' I interrupted, 'as Nic said she has no reason to trust us, but you were a police officer, she'll trust you'
'I think you're over estimating people's trust in the police,' Daniel pitched in, but after Connor shot him an annoyed look he raised his hands and walked off. 'Alright,' Connor conceded eventually, 'I'll show her my badge and do my best but don't expect miracles.'
Connor went through to her room and Nicole left to check on Malcolm. When we were alone Will walked over, 'Todd I want to apologise'-
'No its me that should apologise,' I stopped him, 'I over-reacted and shouldn't have flown off the handle like that'
'But still,' he put up a hand to stop me interrupting again, 'I want you to know that if we're ever in that position again, your gone and we're left behind, you can trust me to take care of things here.'
I nodded, unsure of what to say as he walked off. In the beginning Will had been more grounded than me, I had refused a leadership role out of fear and Will had stepped up. So what had changed? Why was it that he was so fragile?
I knew the answer as soon as I had asked the question. We still didn't know the full story of what happened at the hospital, with Caleb, with his mother. And I doubt we'll ever know, I just have to help him find his stable ground again, or hope that he finds it himself.
I had wondered over to the larger area of the warehouse were we had set up the food and was sitting with Jade when Connor came up to me. I raised my eyebrows in an unspoken question and he shook his head back. 'She seemed to relax a bit more, but she still wouldn't talk,' he explained disappointed
'It's all right, it's a step in the right direction at least,' I tried to boost his spirits, no doubt his friend's condition worried him and he would rather be helping him than questioning a prisoner.
I noticed Lauren with a large amount of food a few metres away. 'Hungry are you?' I asked sarcastically
She laughed back oddly, 'no its for Chris, and our… guest too.' I had forgotten she was helping out Nicole with taking care of the medical stuff. An idea began to form in my mind, 'hey Lauren, wait.'
I hid in Malcolm's room, only a thin sheet of cloth separating this one and our guest's. I heard Lauren enter, and set a tray down on a bench near the bed. 'I know its not very nice,' she said a bit loudly and I cringed, worried she would give us away, 'but if you have any preference just speak up.' I remembered high school drama class and reconsidered putting Lauren up to this task. But as Lauren prepared the food my doubts disappeared. 'Anything's fine,' the girl spoke quickly.
I moved to a gap between to sheets, and I could see the girl eyeing the food hungrily. I grinned, I thought that maybe if we didn't just interrogate her she might actually open up, and it seems I was right. Lauren jumped slightly when the girl spoke, but quickly recomposed herself, 'do you have any allergies?' she recited one of the questions I gave her, the more we got her talking the more likely it was that she would keep talking. 'Gluten, or'-
'No its fine,' she interrupted Lauren clearly eager to eat a proper meal, well, as proper as things get in these situations. 'I'm Lauren by the way,' Lauren spoke pleasantly, clearly happy she was succeeding, but she was only met with silence and an odd stare from the girl.
She pulled at her bonds to draw attention to them, 'I can't eat with these on,' she said carefully. But as Lauren picked up a spoon and prepared to spoon-feed her porridge she groaned and pulled away. Lauren gave her an odd motherly look and eventually the girl sighed and let Lauren feed her.
Things were going quite well in my opinion, they were clearly building a rapport, sparse as it might be. What I didn't count on was my cover being blown by the one person we didn't inform of the plan. 'Todd? What are you doing here?' Malcolm groaned as he rolled over in bed. I saw the girl spin her head around at the sound, and as we made eye contact and knew our plan had failed, and the girl spat a mouthful of porridge at Lauren you quickly left the room.
Nicole rushed into the room after hearing Malcolm wake up, smiling wide. I was pleased, probably more than I felt at the time, that Malcolm was okay, but it couldn't have happened at a more inopportune moment, we her finally getting somewhere. I ran into Lauren and everyone else outside, 'I'm sorry,' she said shakily
'You have nothing to be sorry for, you were doing great,' I reassured her, 'we were just unlucky is all. And lucky at the same time I guess, Malcolm's awake' everyone breathed a sigh of relief. Apart from Brooke and Monica who were keeping watch everyone had gathered around to see how things went.
Nicole eventually came out of the room, still smiling thankfully. 'Everything looks fine, as far as I can tell anyway,' she explained, 'but things could still go badly, just like last time'
'But he's got a better chance now right?' Connor asked concerned
'Oh yes,' Nicole said almost laughing with relief.
But our celebration was cut short as we had the clatter of metal hitting concrete from inside the girl's room, then ripping fabric. We rushed in, somehow she had got a hold of a knife Lauren had taken in with her and gotten free. We followed her through the hole into the meal area. 'Stay away from me!' She yelled, waving the knife around wildly, but as Chris and Connor raised their guns she let out a sound like a sob and dropped the knife. I could see her desperation, and then somehow I knew, I knew she was not a threat to us.
I made a gesture with my hand and the others lowered their weapons, but I didn't stop Daniel and Jade from edging behind her and blocking any escape. 'We don't want to hurt you,' I spoke softly and tried to reason with her
'Is that why you tied me up?' she asked, obviously afraid but still defiant, 'interrogated me?'
'We couldn't trust you as much as you couldn't trust us,' as I spoke I realised what I had to do. I pulled my gun from my holster and she flinched, but slowly I put it on the floor, sliding it over with my foot. 'Todd!' Jade protested, but I silenced her with a nod
'I'm giving you a choice, you can take this gun, some supplies, and leave. We won't stop you,' I knew I was taking a risk, but I wouldn't forgive myself if I didn't try and help her. She picked up the gun, but didn't point it anywhere, I took that as a sign to continue, 'or, you can tell me your name, and you can stay here, with us.'
There were several long minutes when everyone was tense. And we all jump when we heard the gun fall to the floor, as she softly spoke, 'Emma, my name is Emma.'


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Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The past couple of days, I have been waiting on my authorization to test for the National Registry for Emergency Medical Technicians. I have completed all of my hours of training and my class to be eligible to sign up for my certification exam. Unfortunately, every time I log onto the National Registry's website, it says that I am not eligible to take the test and I need my EMT class instructor to accept me to take the test. I called my instructor the other day and he said that I was all set up to take the test.... So basically my EMT instructor has me ready to test but the National Registry doesn't... I'm trying to figure out this frustrating dilemma and hopefully this all works out soon because I need to take this National Registry Test soon.
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Learned how to play the guitar
Memorized a ton of songs on the piano (mostly Mae songs)
Got really fantastic glasses
Got addicted to buying shoes
Ran more than I ever had before
Spent a lot of time with my friends
Wore a ton of band t-shirts
Made a plastic person
Fell in love with a poorly crafted sculpture
Did an awful lot of thrifting
Sent over 36,000 texts
Tried fencing (but didn't continue because I couldn't stand the smell of the equipment)
As I am sure you can see, I have done a lot of things this year. I could easily call it the greatest year of my life, in fact I will do so. Yes, this was the greatest year of my life and I am sad that it is over. But now 2012 will start, THE BEGINNING OF THE END.


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Mary Purdy – Teacher of the Year
If you created a song from the life of newly retired choir teacher Mary Purdy it would sound a lot like the last verse of Huey Lewis' "Heart of Rock & Roll." Only her lyrics would be "Montana, Nebraska, Oregon, New Mexico, California, Elsinore, Morro Bay and San Fernando."
Mary Purdy was always going places — even from childhood, moving a lot thanks to being a pastor's daughter — but when she began her career in music education she made sure the kids were going places too. Not only does she have numerous students from her 26 years at Canyon High School who went on to study music in college, but she literally took them places — a lot of them — from her first year as Canyon's choir director. She led choir trips to: Hawaii, New York, Chicago, Orlando, Washington, D.C., Sacramento, Boston, San Antonio — some of those more than once.
"I attended three trips: a Mexico cruise, Orlando Disney tour and Vancouver," said former student Danny Jaramillo, who graduated in 2004. "I had such an amazing time on all three."
As many of her former students will contend, Mrs. Purdy didn't need a change of scenery to keep it lively. It's what happened in the classroom day-to-day that made a difference for them.
"She has helped in more ways than she knows," Jaramillo said. "I credit her with the reason my voice has grown into what it is today. She gave me a rock solid foundation of skills that I still use to mold my 'instrument' whenever a piece of music I need to learn comes up."
Jazz vocalist Natalie Mendoza, 25, said it was one of her last days in Mrs. Purdy's class that inspired her to become part of multiple college choirs.
"I remember singing with Madrigals in rehearsal and feeling my voice open and fill out in a round and resonant way that I hadn't quite felt before," Mendoza described. "Mrs. Purdy heard this difference and stopped the rehearsal for a moment to tell me in front of the choir that I had finally started singing with my true classical sound and that I would sing that way in my college choirs. I hadn't even considered singing in choir in college at that point, but her words propelled me into the notion that music would inevitably be a part of my college career. I became a music major, studying both classical and jazz voice, singing in five different choirs during my college years."
Purdy earned both a bachelor's and master's degree from California State University, Northridge, and in 1977 got her first teaching job in East Los Angeles at Stevenson Junior High School. In 1981, she joined the William S. Hart Union School District as a teacher at Sierra Vista Junior High. Nine years later, Purdy began teaching English at Canyon High School, and took on the choirs, which were, at the time: Women's Chamber Ensemble, Concert Choir with about 35 students, and Treble Choir, which was for beginning singers. The small, exclusive group, Madrigals, met in the evenings. In 1994 she added the Men's Chamber Ensemble.
This year has been a big one for Mary Purdy. She retired in June and was recently recognized as the William S. Hart Union School District Teacher of the Year. While her excellence in the classroom is rewarded by Hart leadership, what her students remember is that her classes were anything but "business as usual."
"I remember, quite vividly, that Mrs. Purdy would spray the contents of her water bottle on you if she heard you playing 'Heart and Soul' on the piano," Jaramillo said. "The people 'in the know' would always stop what they were doing and look to watch her reaction when someone unknowingly played the trigger song. It was comical!"
Andrew Taban of Canyon Country has similar memories after four years in the classroom with a teacher he calls "feisty."
"If you said something out of turn she would chase you and spray you with water," he said. "One time I ran out of the room to escape. When I went back in the classroom, my backpack was soaking wet."
There was a different vibe in choir than in other classes, students say. It may be, in part, because music is an elective, but it had everything to do with Purdy's style.
"I think that most people would think every day in my classroom was pretty crazy," Purdy said. "We did a lot of laughing each day."
The biggest takeaway for her students, however, was her generosity of spirit, and the benefit to them personally.
"She didn't care who you were, she wanted to be there for every one of her students. … She loved every single one," Taban said. "We adored her."
The choir room doors were open for teens to spend their free time, and she developed relationships with students that continued after graduation.
"Mrs. Purdy and I share a birthday and EVERY SINGLE YEAR I receive a birthday card in the mail from her that is signed "birthday buddy," Mendoza said. "She called me that in high school."
But Purdy's playfulness had substance.
"Besides the obvious music skills … I learned how to be an adult as a student under her guidance," explained 30-year-old Jaramillo. "Empathy, punctuality and personal responsibility are three poignant character traits that I can say she nurtured in me!"
That positive feedback might be enough for a lot of retirees to, deservedly, consider it a job well done and relax. But that isn't Purdy's way. She keeps moving, no matter what.
"I haven't finished cleaning out closets, so I'm not bored yet!" Purdy joked. "I have to say that it is really weird. I don't miss getting up at 5 a.m. or going to faculty meetings (no offense, Jason!) or professional development that has nothing to do with what I teach. I like being able to read my Bible every morning and the newspaper at my leisure. However, I really miss seeing the kids and making beautiful music with them."
Mary Purdy has been "making beautiful music" with her husband, Wally Purdy, for 44 years. They have planned a trip to Hawaii and a cruise to see the fall colors in New England (a time of year educators rarely get to travel, she points out).
Mary and Wally, who is executive vice president at the Bank of Santa Clarita, checked with the State Teachers Retirement and found that she would receive the optimum benefit by retiring in 2014. But, that year was the groundbreaking for a brand new Performing Arts Center on the Canyon High School campus.
"Since I had been involved with the design from the beginning, I wanted to see all that planning come to fruition," Mary Purdy said. "I wanted to be able to perform in it for one entire year, so that was when I retired."
Canyon High School's new choir teacher, Kelly Caswell, is a Valencia High School graduate and was one of Mrs. Purdy's student teachers.
"I knew that she was a person who knew the program and would work with the established traditions and would have a long, successful career at Canyon High School," Mary Purdy said. "When she came to meet these kids, they fell in love with her immediately. She is talented, nice, fun, kind, caring, everything you would want in a choir teacher."
Canyon students will never again join Mrs. Purdy onstage for a teary farewell singing "The Lord Bless You and Keep You." And they'll never again watch Mrs. Purdy navigate such choir tour snafus as the time the door to their airplane door broke off (resulting in 110 students finding alternate transportation to NYC).
But they will make memories with Ms. Caswell, while Mary Purdy keeps moving in her own, new direction. So far that means daily walks with friends, helping her mother-in-law and singing at Grace Baptist Church and the Santa Clarita Master Chorale.
And while the "heart of rock & roll is still beating" for Huey Lewis & the News, Mary Purdy's heart is still beating the way it always has … filled with purpose and generosity, impacting whoever gets the pleasure of her company, wherever she goes from here.