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Sant' Ilario by F. Marion Crawford
Chapter X.
Sant' Ilario walked home from Gouache's lodgings. The cool evening air refreshed him and helped him to think over what he had before him in the near future. Indeed the position was terrible enough, and doubly so to a man of his temperament. He would have faced anything rather than this, for there was no point in which he was more vulnerable than in his love for Corona. As he walked her figure rose before him, and her beauty almost dazzled him when he thought of it. But he could no longer think of her without bringing up that other being upon whom his thoughts of vengeance concentrated themselves, until it seemed as though the mere intention must do its object some bodily harm.
The fall was tremendous in itself and in its effects. It must have been a great passion indeed which could make such a man demean himself to bribe an inferior for information against his wife. He himself was so little able to measure the force by which he was swayed as to believe that he had extracted the confession from a reluctant accomplice. He would never have allowed that the sight of the money and the prompting of his own words could have caused the old woman to invent the perfectly imaginary story which he had seemed so fully determined to hear. He did not see that Caterina Ranucci had merely confirmed each statement he had made himself and had taken his bribe while laughing to herself at his folly. He was blinded by something which destroys the mental vision more surely than anger or hatred, or pride, or love itself.
To some extent he was to be pardoned. The chain of circumstantial evidence was consecutive and so convincing that many a just person would have accepted Corona's guilt as the only possible explanation of what had happened. The discoveries he had just made would alone have sufficed to set up a case against her, and many an innocent reputation has been shattered by less substantial proofs. Had he not found a letter, evidently written in a feigned hand and penned upon his wife's own writing-paper, fastened upon Gouache's table with her own pin? Had not the old woman confessed- -before he had found the note, too,--that a lady had been there but a short time before? Did not these facts agree singularly with Corona's having left him to wait for her during that interval in the public gardens? Above all, did not this conclusion explain at once all those things in her conduct which had so much disturbed him during the past week?
What was this story of Faustina Montevarchi's disappearance? The girl was probably Corona's innocent accomplice. Corona had left the house at one o'clock in the morning with Gouache. The porter had not seen any other woman. The fact that she had entered the Palazzo Montevarchi with Faustina and without Anastase proved nothing, except that she had met the young girl somewhere else, it mattered little where. The story that Faustina had accidentally shut herself into a room in the palace was an invention, for even Corona admitted the fact. That Faustina's flight, however, and the other events of the night of the 22d had been arranged merely in order that Corona and Gouache might walk in the moonlight for a quarter of an hour, Giovanni did not believe. There was some other mystery here which was yet unsolved. Meanwhile the facts he had collected were enough--enough to destroy his happiness at a single blow. And yet he loved Corona even now, and though his mind was made up clearly enough concerning Gouache, he knew that he could not part from the woman he adored. He thought of the grim old fortress at Saracinesca with its lofty towers and impregnable walls, and when he reflected that there was but one possible exit from the huge mass of buildings, he said to himself that Corona would be safe there for ever.
He had the instincts of a fierce and unforgiving race of men, who for centuries had held the law in their own hands, and were accustomed to wield it as it seemed good in their own eyes. It was not very long since the lords of Saracinesca had possessed the right of life and death over their vassals, [Footnote: Until 1870 the right of life and death was still held, so far as actual legality was concerned, by the Dukes of Bracciano, and was attached to the possession of the title, which had been sold and subsequently bought back by the original holders of it.] and the hereditary traits of character which had been fostered by ages of power had not disappeared with the decay of feudalism. Under the circumstances which seemed imminent, it would not have been thought unnatural if Giovanni had confined his wife during the remainder of her days in his castle among the mountains. The idea may excite surprise among civilised Europeans when it is considered that the events of which I write occurred as recently as 1867, but it would certainly have evoked few expressions of astonishment among the friends of the persons concerned. To Giovanni himself it seemed the only possible conclusion to what was happening, and the determination to kill Gouache and imprison Corona for life appeared in his eyes neither barbarous nor impracticable.
He did not hasten his pace as he went towards his home. There was something fateful in his regular step and marble face as he moved steadily to the accomplishment of his purpose. The fury which had at first possessed him, and which, if he had then encountered Gouache, would certainly have produced a violent outbreak, had subsided and was lost in the certainty of his dishonour, and in the immensity of the pain he suffered. Nothing remained to be done but to tell Corona that he knew all, and to inflict upon her the consequences of her crime without delay. There was absolutely no hope left that she might prove herself innocent, and in Giovanni's own breast there was no hope either, no hope of ever finding again his lost happiness, or of ever again setting one stone upon another of all that splendid fabric of his life which he had built up so confidently upon the faith of the woman he loved.
As he reached the gates of his home he grew if possible paler than before, till his face was positively ghastly to see, and his eyes seemed to sink deeper beneath his brows, while their concentrated light gleamed more fiercely. No one saw him enter, for the porter was in his lodge, and on reaching the landing of the stairs Giovanni let himself into the apartments with a latch-key.
Corona was in her dressing-room, a high vaulted chamber, somewhat sombrely furnished, but made cheerful by a fire that blazed brightly in the deep old-fashioned chimney-piece. Candles were lighted upon the dressing-table, and a shaded lamp stood upon a low stand near a lounge beside the hearth. The princess was clad in a loose wrapper of some soft cream-coloured material, whose folds fell gracefully to the ground as she lay upon the couch. She was resting before dressing for dinner, and the masses of her blue-black hair were loosely coiled upon her head and held together by a great Spanish comb thrust among the tresses with a careless grace. She held a book in her slender, olive-tinted hand, but she was not reading; her head lay back upon the cushions and the firelight threw her features into strong relief, while her velvet eyes reflected the flashes of the dancing flames as she watched them. Her expression was serene and calm. She had forgotten for the moment the little annoyances of the last few days and was thinking of her happiness, contrasting the peace of her present life with what she had suffered during the five years of her marriage with poor old Astrardente. Could Giovanni have seen her thus his heart might have been softened. He would have asked himself how it was possible that any woman guilty of such enormous misdeeds could lie there watching the fire with a look of such calm innocence upon her face.
But Giovanni did not see her as she was. Even in the extremity of his anger and suffering his courtesy did not forsake him, and he knocked at his wife's door before entering the room. Corona moved from her position, and turned her head to see who was about to enter.
"Come in," she said.
She started when she saw Giovanni's face. Dazzled as she was by the fire, he looked to her like a dead man. She laid one hand upon the arm of the couch as though she would rise to meet him. He shut the door behind him and advanced towards her till only a couple of paces separated them. She was so much amazed by his looks that she sat quite still while he fixed his eyes upon her and began to speak.
"You have wrecked my life," he said in a strange, low voice. "I have come to tell you my decision."
She thought he was raving mad, and, brave as she was, she shrank back a little upon her seat and turned pale.
"You need not be afraid of me," he continued, as he noticed the movement. "I am not going to kill you. I am sorry to say I am fool enough to love you still."
"Giovanni!" cried Corona in an agonised tone. She could find no words, but sprang to her feet and threw her arms about him, gazing imploringly into his face. His features did not relax, for he was prepared for any sort of acting on her part. Without hurting her, but with a strength few men could have resisted, he forced her back to her seat, and then retreated a step before he spoke again. She submitted blindly, feeling that any attempt to thwart him must be utterly useless.
"I know what you have done," he said. "You can have nothing to say. Be silent and listen to me. You have destroyed the greatest happiness the world ever knew. You have dishonoured me and mine. You have dragged my faith in you--God knows how great--into the mire of your infamous life. And worse than that--I could almost have forgiven that, I am so base--you have destroyed yourself--"
Corona uttered a wild cry and sank back upon the cushions, pressing her hands over her ears so that she might not hear the fearful words.
"I will not listen!" she gasped. "You are mad--mad!" Then springing up once more she again clasped him to her breast, so suddenly that he could not escape her. "Oh, my poor Giovanni!" she moaned. "What has happened to you? Have you been hurt? Are you dying? For Heaven's sake speak like yourself!"
He seized her wrists and held her before him so that she was forced to hear what he said. Even then his grasp did not hurt her. His hands were like manacles of steel in which hers could turn though she could not withdraw them.
"I am hurt to death," he said, between his teeth. "I have been to Gouache's rooms and have brought away your letter--and your pin-- the pin I gave you, Corona. Do you understand now, or must I say more?"
"My letter?" cried Corona in the utmost bewilderment.
"Yes," he answered, releasing her and instantly producing the note and the gold ornament. "Is that your paper? Is this your pin? Answer me--or no! they answer for themselves. You need say nothing, for you can have nothing to say. They are yours and you know it. If they are not enough there is the woman who let you in, who saw you bring them. What more do you want?"
As long as Giovanni's accusations had been vague and general, Corona had remained horrorstruck, believing that some awful and incomprehensible calamity had befallen her husband and had destroyed his reason. The moment he produced the proof of what he said, her presence of mind returned, and she saw at a glance the true horror of the situation. She never doubted for a moment that she was the victim of some atrocious plot, but having something to face which she could understand her great natural courage asserted itself. She was not a woman to moan and weep helplessly when there was an open danger to be met.
She took the letter and the pin and examined them by the light, with a calmness that contrasted oddly with her previous conduct. Giovanni watched her. He supposed that she had acted surprise until he had brought forward something more conclusive than words, and that she was now exercising her ingenuity in order to explain the situation. His lip curled scornfully, as he fancied he saw the meaning of her actions. After a few seconds she looked up and held out the two objects towards him.
"The paper is mine," she said, "but I did not write the letter. The pin is mine too. I lost it more than a month ago."
"Of course," replied Giovanni, coldly. "I expected that you would say that. It is very natural. But I do not ask you for any explanations. I have them already. I will take you to Saracinesca to-morrow morning and you will have time to explain everything. You will have your whole life to use, until you die, for no other object. I told you I would not kill you."
"Is it possible that you are in earnest?" asked Corona, her voice trembling slightly.
"I am in earnest. Do you think I am a man to jest over such deeds?"
"And do you think I am a woman to do such deeds?"
"Since you have done them--what answer can there be? Not only are you capable of them. You are the woman who has done them. Do lifeless things, like these, lie?"
"No. But men do. I believe you, Giovanni. You found these things in Monsieur Gouache's rooms. You were told I put them there. Whoever told you so uttered the most infamous falsehood that ever was spoken on earth. The person who placed them where they were did so in the hope of ruining me. Can you look back into the past and tell me that you have any other reason for believing in this foul plot?"
"Reasons?" cried Giovanni, fiercely. "Do you want more reasons? We have time. I will give you enough to satisfy you that I know all you have done. Was not this man for ever near you last year, wherever you met, talking with you in low tones, showing by every movement and gesture that he distinguished you with his base love? Were you not together in a corner last Tuesday night just as the insurrection broke out? Did he not kiss your hand when you both thought no one was looking?"
"He kissed my hand before every one," replied Corona, whose wrath was slowly gathering as she saw her husband's determination to prove her guilty.
"There were people in the room," continued Giovanni in a tone of concentrated anger, "but you thought no one was watching you--I could see it in your manner and in your eyes. That same night I came home at one o'clock and you were out. You had gone out alone with that man, expecting that I would not return so soon--though it was late enough, too. You were forced to admit that you were with him, because the porter had seen you and had told me the man was a Zouave."
"I will tell you the story, since you no longer trust me," said Corona, proudly.
"I have no doubt you will tell me some very ingenious tale which will explain why, although you left my house alone, with Gouache, you reached the Palazzo Montevarchi alone with Faustina. But I have not done. He came here the next day. You treated him with unexampled rudeness before me. Half an hour later I found you together in the drawing-room. He was kissing your hand again. You were saying you forgave him and giving him that favourite benediction of yours, which you once bestowed upon me under very similar circumstances. Astrardente was alive and present at that dance in Casa Frangipani. You have me for a husband now and you have found another man whose heart will beat when you bless him. It would be almost better to kill you after all."
"Have you finished?" asked Corona, white with anger.
"Yes. That letter and that pin--left while I, poor fool, was waiting for you this afternoon on the Pincio--those things are my last words. They close the tale very appropriately. I wish I did not love you so--I would not wait for your answer."
"Do you dare to say you love me?"
"Yes--though there is no other man alive who would dare so much, who would dare to love such a woman as you are--for very shame."
"And I tell you," answered Corona in ringing tones, "that, although I can prove to you that every word you say against me is an abominable calumny, so that you shall see how basely you have insulted an innocent woman, yet I shall never love you again-- never, never. A man who can believe such things, who can speak such things, is worthy of no woman's love and shall not have mine. And yet you shall hear me tell the truth, that you may know what you have done. You say I have wrecked your life and destroyed your happiness. You have done it for yourself. As there is a God in Heaven--"
"Do not blaspheme," said Giovanni, contemptuously. "I will hear your story."
"Before God, this thing is a lie!" cried Corona, standing at her full height, her eyes flashing with just indignation. Then lowering her voice, she continued speaking rapidly but distinctly. "Gouache loves Faustina, and she loves him. When he left this house that night she followed him out into the street. She reached the Serristori barracks and was stunned by the explosion. Gouache found her there many hours later. When you saw us together a little earlier he was telling me he loved her. He is a man of honour. He saw that the only way to save her good name was to bring her here and let me take her home. He sent me a word by the porter, while she waited in the shadow. I ran down and found her there. We purposely prevented the porter from seeing her. I took her to her father's house, and sent Gouache away, for I was angry with him. I believed he had led an innocent girl into following him--that it was a pre-arranged meeting and that she had gone not realising that there was a revolution. I invented the story of her having lost herself here, in order to shield her. The next day Gouache came. I would not speak to him and went to my room. The servants told me he was gone, but as I was coming back to you I met him. He stopped me and made me believe what is quite true, for Faustina has acknowledged it. She followed him of her own accord, and he had no idea that she was not safe at home. I forgave him. He said he was going to the frontier and asked me to give him a blessing. It was a foolish idea, perhaps, but I did as he wished. If you had come forward like a man instead of listening we would have told you all. But you suspected me even then. I do not know who told you that I had been to his lodging to-day. The carriage was stopped by a crowd in the Tritone, and I reached the Pincio after you had gone. As for the pin, I lost it a month ago. Gouache may have found it, or it may have been picked up and sold, and he may have chanced to buy it. I never wrote the letter. The paper was either taken from this house or was got from the stationer who stamps it for us. Faustina may have taken it--she may have been here when I was out--it is not her handwriting. I believe it is an abominable plot. But it is as transparent as water. Take the pin and wear it. See Gouache when you have it. He will ask you where you got it, for he has not the slightest idea that it is mine. Are you satisfied? I have told you all. Do you see what you have done, in suspecting me, in accusing me, in treating me like the last of women? I have done. What have you to say?"
"That you have told a very improbable story," replied Giovanni. "You have sunk lower than before, for you have cast a slur upon an innocent girl in order to shield yourself. I would not have believed you capable of that. You can no more prove your innocence than you can prove that this poor child was mad enough to follow Gouache into the street last Tuesday night. I have listened to you patiently. I have but one thing more to do and then there will be nothing left for me but patience. You will send for your servants, and order your effects to be packed for the journey to Saracinesca. If it suits your convenience we will start at eleven o'clock, as I shall be occupied until then. I advise you not to see my father."
Corona stood quite still while he spoke. She could not realise that he paid no attention whatever to her story, save to despise her the more for having implicated Faustina. It was inconceivable to her that all the circumstances should not now be as clear to him as they were to herself. From the state of absolute innocence she could not transfer herself in a moment to the comprehension of all he had suffered, all he had thought, and all he had recalled before accusing her. Even had that been possible, her story seemed to her to give a perfectly satisfactory explanation of all his suspicions. She was wounded, indeed, so deeply that she knew she could never recover herself entirely, but it did not strike her as possible that all she had said should produce no effect at all. And yet she knew his look and his ways, and recognised in the tone of his voice the expression of a determination which it would be hard indeed to change. He still believed her guilty, and he was going to take her away to the dismal loneliness of the mountains for an indefinite time, perhaps for ever. She had not a relation in the world to whom she could appeal. Her mother had died in her infancy; her father, for whom she sacrificed herself in marrying the rich old Duke of Astrardente, was dead long ago. She could turn to no one, unless it were to Prince Saracinesca himself--and Giovanni warned her not to go to his father. She stood for some moments looking fixedly at him as though trying to read his thoughts, and he returned her gaze with unflinching sternness. The position was desperate. In a few hours she would be where there would be no possibility of defence or argument, and she knew the man's character well enough to be sure that where proof failed entreaty would be worse than useless. At last she came near to him and almost gently laid her hand upon his arm.
"Giovanni," she said, quietly, "I have loved you very tenderly and very truly. I swear to you upon our child that I am wholly innocent. Will you not believe me?"
"No," he answered, and the little word fell from his lips like the blow of a steel hammer. His eyes did not flinch; his features did not change.
"Will you not ask some one who knows whether I have not spoken the truth? Will you not let me write--or write yourself to those two, and ask them to come here and tell you their story? It is much to ask of them, but it is life or death to me and they will not refuse. Will you not do it?"
"No, I will not."
"Then do what you will with me, and may God forgive you, for I cannot."
Corona turned from him and crossed the room. There was a cushioned stool there, over which hung a beautiful crucifix. Corona knelt down, as though not heeding her husband's presence, and buried her face in her hands.
Giovanni stood motionless in the middle of the room. His eyes had followed his wife's movements and he watched her in silence for a short time. Convinced, as he was, of her guilt, he believed she was acting a part, and that her kneeling down was merely intended to produce a theatrical effect. The accent of truth in her words made no impression whatever upon him, and her actions seemed to him too graceful to be natural, too dignified for a woman who was not trying all the time to make the best of her appearance. The story she had told coincided too precisely, if possible, with the doings of which he had accused her, while it failed in his judgment to explain the motives of what she had done. He said to himself that he, in her place, would have told everything on that first occasion when she had come home and had found him waiting for her. He forgot, or did not realise, that she had been taken unawares, when she expected to find time to consider her course, and had been forced to make up her mind suddenly. Almost any other woman would have told the whole adventure at once; any woman less wholly innocent of harm would have seen the risk she incurred by asking her husband's indulgence for her silence. He was persuaded that she had played upon his confidence in her and had reckoned upon his belief in her sincerity in order to be bold with half the truth. Suspicion and jealousy had made him so ingenious that he imputed to her a tortuous policy of deception, of which she was altogether incapable.
Corona did not kneel long. She had no intention of making use of the appearance of prayer in order to affect Giovanni's decision, nor in order to induce him to leave her alone. He would, indeed, have quitted the room had she remained upon her knees a few moments longer, but when she rose and faced him once more he was still standing as she had left him, his eyes fixed upon her and his arms folded upon his breast. He thought she was going to renew her defence, but he was mistaken. She came and stood before him, so that a little distance separated him from her, and she spoke calmly, in her deep, musical voice.
"You have made up your mind, then. Is that your last word?"
"It is."
"Then I will say what I have to say. It shall not be much, but we shall not often talk together in future. You will remember some day what I tell you. I am an innocent and defenceless woman. I have no relation to whom I can appeal. You have forbidden me to write to those who could prove me guiltless. For the sake of our child--for the sake of the love I have borne you--I will make no attempt at resistance. The world shall not know that you have even doubted me, the mother of your son, the woman who has loved you. The time will come when you will ask my forgiveness for your deeds. I tell you frankly that I shall never be capable of forgiving you, nor of speaking a kind word to you again. This is neither a threat nor a warning, though it may perhaps be the means of sparing you some disappointment. I only ask two things of your courtesy--that you will inform me of what you mean to do with our child, and that you will then be good enough to leave me alone for a little while."
An evil thought crossed Giovanni's mind. He knew how Corona would suffer if she were not allowed either to see little Orsino or to know what became of him while she was living her solitary life of confinement in the mountains. The diabolical cruelty of the idea fascinated him for a moment, and he looked coldly into her eyes as though he did not mean to answer her. In spite of his new jealousy, however, he was not capable of inflicting this last blow. As he looked at her beautiful white face and serious eyes, he wavered. He loved her still and would have loved her, had the proofs against her been tenfold more convincing than they were. With him his love was a passion apart and by itself. It had been strengthened and made beautiful by the devotion and tenderness and faith which had grown up with it, and had surrounded it as with a wall. But though all these things were swept away the passion itself remained, fierce, indomitable and soul-stirring in its power. It stood alone, like the impregnable keep of a war-worn fortress, beneath whose shadow the outworks and ramparts have been razed to the ground, and whose own lofty walls are battered and dinted by engines of war, shorn of all beauty and of all its stately surroundings, but stern and unshaken yet, grim, massive and solitary.
For an instant Giovanni wavered, unable to struggle against that mysterious power which still governed him and forced him to acknowledge its influence. The effort of resisting the temptation to be abominably cruel carried him back from his main purpose, and produced a sudden revulsion of feeling wholly incomprehensible to himself.
"Corona!" he cried, in a voice breaking with emotion. He threw out his arms wildly and sprang towards her. She thrust him back with a strength of which he would not have believed her capable. Bitter words rose to her lips, but she forced them back and was silent, though her eyes blazed with an anger she had never felt before. For some time neither spoke. Corona stood erect and watchful, one hand resting upon the back of a chair. Giovanni walked to the end of the room, and then came back and looked steadily into her face. Several seconds elapsed before he could speak, and his face was very white.
"You may keep the child," he said at last, in an unsteady tone. Then without another word he left the room and softly closed the door behind him.
When Corona was alone she remained standing as he had last seen her, her gaze fixed on the heavy curtains through which he had disappeared. Gradually her face grew rigid, and the expression vanished from her deep eyes, till they looked dull and glassy. She tottered, lost her hold upon the chair and fell to the floor with an inarticulate groan. There she lay, white, beautiful and motionless as a marble statue, mercifully unconscious, for a space, of all she had to suffer.
Giovanni went from his wife's presence to his father's study. The prince sat at his writing-table, a heap of dusty parchments and papers piled before him. He was untying the rotten strings with which they were fastened, peering through his glasses at the headings written across the various documents. He did not unfold them, but laid them carefully in order upon the table. When San Giacinto had gone away, the old gentleman had nothing to do for an hour or more before dinner. He had accordingly opened a solid old closet in the library which served as a sort of muniment room for the family archives, and had withdrawn a certain box in which he knew that the deeds concerning the cession of title were to be found. He did not intend to look them over this evening, but was merely arranging them for examination on the morrow. He looked up as Giovanni entered, and started from his chair when he saw his son's face.
"Good heavens! Giovannino! what has happened?" he cried, in great anxiety.
"I came to tell you that Corona and I are going to Saracinesca to- morrow," answered Sant' Ilario, in a low voice.
"What? At this time of year? Besides, you cannot get there. The road is full of Garibaldians and soldiers. It is not safe to leave the city! Are you ill? What is the matter?"
"Oh--nothing especial," replied Giovanni with an attempt to assume an indifferent tone "We think the mountain air will be good for my wife, that is all. I do not think we shall really have much difficulty in getting there. Half of this war is mere talk"
"And the other half consists largely of stray bullets," observed the prince, eyeing his son suspiciously from under his shaggy brows. "You will allow me to say, Giovanni, that for thoughtless folly you have rarely had your equal in the world."
"I believe you are right," returned the younger man bitterly. "Nevertheless I mean to undertake this journey."
"And does Corona consent to it? Why are you so pale? I believe you are ill?"
"Yes--she consents. We shall take the child."
"Orsino? You are certainly out of your mind. It is bad enough to take a delicate woman--"
"Corona is far from delicate. She is very strong and able to bear anything"
"Don't interrupt me. I tell you she is a woman, and so of course she must be delicate. Can you not understand common sense? As for the boy, he is my grandson, and if you are not old enough to know how to take care of him, I am. He shall not go. I will not permit it. You are talking nonsense. Go and dress for dinner, or send for the doctor--in short, behave like a human being! I will go and see Corona myself"
The old gentleman's hasty temper was already up, and he strode to the door. Giovanni laid his hand somewhat heavily upon his father's arm.
"Excuse me," he said, "Corona cannot see you now. She is dressing"
"I will talk to her through the door. I will wait in her boudoir till she can see me"
"I do not think she will see you this evening. She will be busy in getting ready for the journey."
"She will dine with us, I suppose?"
"I scarcely know--I am not sure."
Old Saracinesca suddenly turned upon his son. His gray hair bristled on his head, and his black eyes flashed. With a quick movement he seized Giovanni's arms and held him before him as in a vice.
"Look here!" he cried savagely. "I will not be made a fool of by a boy. Something has happened which you are afraid to tell me. Answer me. I mean to know!"
"You will not know from me," replied Sant' Ilario, keeping his temper as he generally did in the face of a struggle. "You will know nothing, because there is nothing to know." Saracinesca laughed.
"Then there can be no possible objection to my seeing Corona," he said, dropping his hold and again going towards the door. Once more Giovanni stopped him.
"You cannot see her now," he said in determined tones.
"Then tell me what all this trouble is about," retorted his father.
But Giovanni did not speak. Had he been cooler he would not have sought the interview so soon, but he had forgotten that the old prince would certainly want to know the reason of the sudden journey.
"Do you mean to tell me or not?"
"The fact is," replied Giovanni desperately, "we have consulted the doctor--Corona is not really well--he advises us to go to the mountains--"
"Giovanni," broke in the old man roughly, "you never lied to me, but you are lying now. There has been trouble between you two, though I cannot imagine what has caused it."
"Pray do not ask me, then. I am doing what I think best--what you would think best if you knew all. I came to tell you that we were going, and I did not suppose you would have anything to say. Since you do not like the idea--well, I am sorry--but I entreat you not to ask questions. Let us go in peace."
Saracinesca looked fixedly at his son for some minutes. Then the anger faded from his face, and his expression grew very grave. He loved Giovanni exceedingly, and he loved Corona for his sake more than for her own, though he admired her and delighted in her conversation. It was certain that if there were a quarrel between husband and wife, and if Giovanni had the smallest show of right on his side, the old man's sympathies would be with him.
Giovanni's sense of honour, on the other hand, prevented him from telling his father what had happened. He did not choose that even his nearest relation should think of Corona as he thought himself, and he would have taken any step to conceal her guilt. Unfortunately for his purpose he was a very truthful man, and had no experience of lying, so that his father detected him at once. Moreover, his pale face and agitated manner told plainly enough that something very serious had occurred, and so soon as the old prince had convinced himself of this his goodwill was enlisted on the side of his son.
"Giovannino," he said at last very gently, "I do not want to pry into your secrets nor to ask you questions which you do not care to answer. I do not believe you are capable of having committed any serious folly which your wife could really resent. If you should be unfaithful to her, I would disown you. If, on the other hand, she has deceived you, I will do all in my power to help you."
Perhaps Giovanni's face betrayed something of the truth at these words. He turned away and leaned against the chimney-piece.
"I cannot tell you--I cannot tell you," he repeated. "I think I am doing what is best. That is all I can say. You may know some day, though I trust not. Let us go away without explanations."
"My dear boy," replied the old man, coming up to him and laying his hand on his shoulder, "you must do as you think best. Go to Saracinesca if you will, and if you can. If not, go somewhere else. Take heart. Things are not always as black as they look."
Giovanni straightened himself as though by an effort, and grasped his father's broad, brown hand.
"Thank you," he said. "Good-bye. I will come down and see you in a few days. Good-bye!"
His voice trembled and he hurriedly left the room. The prince stood still a moment and then threw himself into a deep chair, staring at the lamp and biting his gray moustache savagely, as though to hide some almost uncontrollable emotion. There was a slight moisture in his eyes as they looked steadily at the bright lamp.
The papers and parchments lay unheeded on the table, and he did not touch them again that night. He was thinking, not of his lonely old age nor of the dishonour brought upon his house, but of the boy he had loved as his own soul for more than thirty years, and of a swarthy little child that lay asleep in a distant room, the warm blood tinging its olive cheeks and its little clinched hands thrown back above its head.
For Corona he had no thought but hatred. He had guessed Giovanni's secret too well, and his heart was hardened against the woman who had brought shame and suffering upon his son.


text:
1000 point Scorer!!
Congratulations to Emily from Trinity Christian (WV) on scoring here 1000th point at the KSA Events Holiday Basketball Tournament. Amazing accomplishment and thank you for allowing us to be a part of it.READ MORE
#1 in my heart and in his Mind! #theFeas
He's a special one folks.READ MORE
Northwest Guilford (NC) in the house!!!!READ MORE
Congrats to Bishop Shanahan HS (PA) winning the Boys Championship!
Bishop Shanahan won the Blue Bracket vs Freedom HS (VA). Tough game and could have gone either way. Shanahan got out to an early lead and was able to maintain it to win.READ MORE
Girls Classic Red Bracket Champions – Commack HS (NY)
Congratulations to Commack HS (NY) winning a hard fought game against Colonial HS (FL). Mainland Regional HS (NJ) coming in third place to round out the top three.
KSA Events Holiday Wrestling Shirts
Be sure to get your shirts at the Tournament for this years KSA Events Holiday Wrestling Tournament. Limited quantities and sizes available.READ MORE
Classic Basketball Schedules online!
KSA Events Classic Boys and Girls Basketball Schedules are now online!!
Check out the schedules listed under Boys and Girls Basketball and then Tournament Results.READ MORE
APX Strength has joined the KSA Events Team!!
We are incredibly proud to announce a new partnership with the pioneer in athlete training and nutrition!
APX represents affiliations of numerous High Schools & Clubs in various boy/girl sports and physical education programs. Football, Baseball, Hockey, Basketball, Soccer, LaCrosse, Wrestling/MMA, Softball, Track, Cross Country and Volleyball.
Pro & Collegiate athlete training, recovery and regeneration programming/periodization are key services provided by APX to agents and agencies who are looking for 'Optimal' performance results.
APX provides Dietetic/Sports Nutrition services for all Athlete and Non-Athlete populations, including 'Wellness Programming' within business' and corporations.
APX' NFL, MLB & NHL Pro-Elite Athlete Preparation Programs are sought after for traveling professionals in Canada as well.
Provides APX Educational School District approved Tier 1, 2 & 3 Certifications for its methods and programming to teachers, coaches and trainers.
Only performance outfit in the Country that will travel to any high school to provide Clinics, Summer Programming and the APX 365 model throughout the school year.READ MORE
KSA Events Tour thru Texas!
We are visiting many of our schools from Houston thru Austin and then thru Dallas. Always great getting to see our Coaches and Teams at their school.READ MORE
Red Cedar & Sage is now a proud partner of KSA Events
KSA Events is proud to announce partnership with Red Cedar & Sage Restaurant. We have teams from all over the Nation and we love to be able to partner with businesses from all over as well. Red Cedar and Sage is locates right in the middle of the historic Pike Place Public Market of Downtown Seattle. LOCATED IN THE HEART OF THE PIKE PLACE MARKET, YOU'LL INDULGE YOUR PALATE WHILE EXPERIENCING THE BEST OF SEATTLE FROM OUR SUN FILLED ATRIUM. Call and day KSA Events sent you!READ MORE

subset: commoncrawl


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Certainly, size doesn't matter as long as it is of some purpose. Mark my words. Small can do wonders sometimes. It is as if the strength lies in it size.
If you are thinking kinky stuff or otherwise, this is not one about that. I am a living example of how good and all power small can be.
Though I am just about the size of any usual tablet, I have the ability to solve two of the most personal and serious problems of mankind – heart and sex related that is.
Scientifically called sildenafil citrate and popularly known as Viagra, I was first developed more than a decade ago by scientists who were testing a drug for its ability to lower blood pressure and coincidentally came out with a remedy for erectile dysfunction or lack of erection during sexual performance. Eureka!
Interestingly people on whom the first the blue pill were tested for blood pressure didn't want to give it back. Of course you know why!
Since then millions of people around the world have used me, the magic pill – the reinvigorator of lifeles passion.
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I have been popular since inception but authorities have been cautious of my use. A special prescription from the doctor is required to use me. I cost about Nu 22 a tablet, and come in a box of four tablets bringing the cost to Nu 85 a packet.
Some say I am very expensive and I totally agree but I would also like to believe that the advantage that I bring along is worthwhile.
My kind has been around for over a decade saving lives and families and vow to continue doing so. I have been adorably called big fun by men whose sex drives I have solved.
Sitting on the shelf of a pharmacy I have spotted men who are tempted to buy me but are too embarrassed to ask. Well! I would like to say that I belong to the directives of the doctor and I just cannot be bought for money. Strictly prescribed!
PS - i was told that after my article came out in the paper (Aug 27), there were people coming to the pharmacy to purchase Viagra.. How crazy is that!!! i said "Strictly prescribed" yet some people don't get it!


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Hey Peeps,
Wow, hasn't it been hot, hot, hot this week? Thankfully it is getting a little cooler in my part of the country ... less humid and sticky which means I can get into my room of stash and play again!
A few weeks ago I was very inspired by Linda Brown from LB Crafts ... she is so clever and showed me how to alter a plain old photoframe using Ten Seconds Studio's metals and some heavenly metallic paints.
Here is my take on the frame....I used copper coloured metal for the base and then once I had marked a template, I used various molds and freehand decorating using the Wheel tools.
Once the metal was embossed, debossed and generally teased into the style I wanted, I slapped a lot of metallic paint onto the metal .... using Cut n Dry foam to do this gets a really good coverage and also gets into the nooks and crannies too :O))
Tomorrow will mark the return of the Sunday Stamper and I have another piece of artwork that has Ten Seconds Studio stuff on it...along with some other bits n bobs...so I would love to see you here to join in with the challenge...am keeping the theme under my hat at the moment but I will still be using song titles for the name of the challenge...well, some things are just better left the same aren't they? LOL
Thanks for looking and have a good day!
Hels x
Saturday, 4 July 2009
In The Frame for Ten Seconds
Hey Peeps,
Posted by Hels Sheridan at 00:19
3 comments:
This is gorgeous Hels! those paints are gorgeous on metal aren't they?! xx
- Saturday, July 04, 2009 10:14:00 am
- Andrea said...
again a truly beautiful piece of your talented work Hels I love it xx
- Saturday, July 04, 2009 5:14:00 pm
- Minx said...
er well, it was looking good till i got to the end picture and that just ruined it for me PMSL, sorry couldn't resist, you know me xx
Think this looks super fab hunny, i've not played with metal for ages, but your doing a fab enough job for the both of us xx
- Sunday, July 05, 2009 12:47:00 am


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Tai Chi for Arthritis, Fall Prevention and Seated TCA Knoxville, TN - Bill Pickett
When and Where
|19th - 20th Jan, 2018
|8:30 am - 5:00 pm
|Karns Community Center
7708 Oak Ridge Highway
United States
Tai Chi for Arthritis for Fall Prevention and Seated TCA by Bill Pickett
Tai Chi for Health Instructor Training workshop
TCA for FP and other updates available - contact Bill Pickett for details
First Step - Please register on-line. When registering online: If you are already a certified instructor, you will need to login to the website to register for this workshop. Use the "Lost Password" link to reset your password if you are having difficulties logging onto this website
With workshop attendance, optional updates STCA, TCD, TCE, TCO, TCB & TCR available for $40 each – additional paperwork required - contact Bill Pickett for details
Please register by January 1, 2018 - Early Price Special applies – see below
$225.00 TCA, FP & STCA Jan 19-20 Register before Jan 1, 2018
$240.00 TCA, FP & STCAAfter Jan 1, 2018
$120.00 TCA, FP & STCA Update Must attend Jan 19-20, 2018
Check or money order - sorry no credit card or PayPal – Send Payment to:
Bill Pickett
11301 Snyder Road
Knoxville, TN 37932
Registration Fee includes Instructor Qualification certificate – coffee and tea furnished at breaks.
20% discount code will be sent to all registered participants for purchase of required DVDs and training material.
CEU Credits –14 contact hours for CEUs Part 1 for Physical Therapists (PTs & PTAs), Occupational Therapists (OTs and OTAs), Registered Nurses (RN), Licensed Practical Nurses (LPN), Licensed Mental Health Technicians (LMHT), & American College of Sports Medicine Certified Professionals (ACSMP). $35 extra charge for CEU Certificate
Optional updates STCA, TCE, TCD, TCO, TCB, & TCR available 40 each – additional paperwork required - contact Bill Pickett for details
Karns Community Center
7708 Oak Ridge Highway
Knoxville, TN 37831
Detailed directions and hotel information will be sent to all registered participants
Bill Pickett (Master Trainer)
(865) 567-4837 firstname.lastname@example.com
Linda Pickett (Senior Trainer)
(865) 414-7334 firstname.lastname@example.com


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Photo Reportage: The Venice Biennale
Lecturers and students research trip to The Venice Biennale of Conteporary Art
Lecturers and students from our Academy took part in the research trip to Italy on 3rd-8th November. The main point we were waiting for was visiting The Venice Biennale of Conteporary Art, which was divided in three parts: exhibitions in Giardini, Arsenal and collateral events which took place all around the city. We had a splendid possibility to watch memorable and impressive performing arts, installations and other manifestations of contemporary art.
The last day was dedicated to sightseeing around the historical parts of Venice, including St Mark's Basilica, Santa Maria Della Salute's Basilica, Guggenheim Museum and Igor Mitoraj exhibition. We also went to the ancient city Aquileia during travelling through Italy to Venice.
Translation: Kinga Bartniak


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Swizz Beatz – It's Okayyy [Audio]
Swizz Beatz is getting ready to release his new album, "Poison", sometime later this year.Read more
Swizz Beatz is getting ready to release his new album, "Poison", sometime later this year.Read more
Here's the official music video for "Been Down" off Nipsey Hussle's debut album "Victory Lap", due out this Friday.Read more
Fabolous and Jadakiss are back at it with a new music video for "Theme Music" from their "Friday On Elm Street" project.Read more
"Filthy" is the first single from JT's next album "Man of the Woods", which arrives February 2nd.Read more
Nipsey Hussle celebrates the 7-year-anniversary of his "The Marathon" project with "Been Down".Read more
Da Wednesday Underground Flava – Underground & Old School Tunes Non-Stop!Read more
Da More Fire Monday – The Correct Flava To Start Your Week!Read more
This is taken from "IWASVERYBAD", the upcoming album from IDK, which is due out on October 13th. Press play on "Maryland Ass Ni**a" below.Read more
Da Wednesday Underground Flava – Underground & Old School Tunes Non-Stop Host: DJ P.R. Heatrock after heatrock – you know the motto! Press play and enjoy. Record Of The Day: Roc Marciano – Pray 4 Me Playlist Scram Jones feat. Uncle Murda, Dave East & Styles P – NYC Driveby Thelonious Martin – Boujee Migos feat. Lil Uzi Vert – Bad And Boujee DMX feat. Swizz Beatz – Bane Is Back Raekwon – This Is What It Comes Too Raekwon feat. G-Eazy – Purple Brick Road The Council feat. Tha God Fahim – Valhalla Doctrine R-Mean – Land Of The Free R-Mean feat. Compton Menace – Not With It Joey Bada$$ – Land Of The Free Joey Bada$$ – Victory Prodigy – Mafuckin U$A J. Cole – High For Hours **Record Of The Day** Roc Marciano – Pray 4 Me M-Dot feat. Method Man & Dominique Larue – Shine Download here (right click and save as…)Read more
Da More Fire Monday – The Correct Flava To Start Your Week Host: DJ P.R. Today's show includes new tracks from the likes of Kehlani, DMX, Alicia Keys, Baauer and The Cool Kids. Press play below and enjoy! Record Of The Day: Kehlani – Not Used To It Playlist Migos feat. Lil Uzi Vert – Bad And Boujee **Record Of The Day** Kehlani – Not Used To It DMX feat. Swizz Beatz – Bane Is Back Alicia Keys – That's What's Up Baauer – Candy Man **Barclay Crenshaw – Transmission 001** Barclay Crenshaw – Fatal Error Everydayz & Phazz – Almeria (20syl Remix) A Tribe Called Quest – Whateva Will Be Special Ed – I Got It Made Barclay Crenshaw feat. The Cool Kids – U Are In My System Barclay Crenshaw – Stuntin' Is A Habit What So Not feat. Rome Fortune – Buried (Barclay Crenshaw VIP Remix) Royalston feat. August Storm – Jungle Gone Down French Fries – Vogue (Unreleased DJ Madd 165 Edit) Schlachthofbronx – Don (Barclay Crenshaw Edit) DJ Shadow – Swerve Salva – Drop That Bitch Barclay Crenshaw – The Real X Files (Instrumental) MF Doom – Hoe Cakes J.J. Fad – Supersonic Bleep Bloop – Denial Losco – Wolf Point Point – You Will Never Know Flatbush Zombies – Trade Off Barclay Crenshaw – Artifacts (Instrumental) Doshy – Phases Barclay Crenshaw – The Gene Sequence Deebs – Realize Download here (right click and save as…)Read more
DMX and Swizz Beatz connect for a new freebie titled "Bane Is Back". Stream or download below.Read more
Cassidy and Swizz Beatz freestyle for 8 minutes straight on DJ Whoo Kid's "New Years Eve Special" on Shade 45.Read more
Directed by Director X. "Encore" out now.Read more
Swizz Beatz talks working with Kanye West, No Commissions Art Show + intense police run in.Read more
French DJ and producer DJ Snake joins forces with Jeremih, Young Thug and Swizz Beatz for the latest single from his official debut album "Encore" that hits stores August 5th. Stream "The Half" below.Read more


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Here's a cool tip:
You can do searches from your computer without typing. :-)
In this post I'll show you how to turn on the "Search by voice" in Chrome.
1. Open your Chrome browser and go to http://www.google.com.
2. In the search box, locate the microphone icon and click on the icon to enable "OK Google".
4. Confirm your choice by clicking the blue "Enable OK Google" button.
6. Finally, I suggest quitting the browser and re-opening.
Now you are ready for voice search. :-)
1. Open Chrome and go to a search page. (http://www.google.com).
2. Notice the microphone icon looks different now and there is a prompt to say, "OK Google".
3. Say, "OK Google" to activate a search.
4. Speak your search query.
5. In many results, Google will "speak" a basic answer to your question.
6. Enjoy the results. :-)
* Try a few of these:
"Roll a die"
"Flip a coin"
Here's a link to an infographic with an excellent list of things you can try searching - be sure to check out the "Easter Eggs" included.


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Portland Litigation Support work with Private Landlords and Lettings Agents across the UK to ensure that income from rental properties is protected and to minimise any damage caused by neglect or mistreatment.
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In the meantime, we list below some of our popular pages.


text:
1050mm (42in) Wide Tip General Duty Bucket for 324-335 Hex
The General Duty bucket is designed for the excavating, production truck loading, and trenching applications of 324-335 hydraulic excavators. These buckets leave a smooth surface finish and are the ideal choice for working in dirt, loam, and a mixture of fine gravel and dirt.
Learn More About This Piece of Equipment
Product Specs
- Width
- 42in
- Capacity
- 1.75yd³
- Tooth Count
- 5
- Tooth Style
- Weight
- 2178lb


text:
Blue chips all kapuk! 3 speculative counter hit limit down: Suremax, Sanbumi, Fajar. Whole market in strong selling mode. Die die die. Or oppurtunity to buy cheap :D
Collected Talam and Talam-WA.
Talam: Hit support 1.03. May stop here or breakdown. Let's see tomorrow.
Talam-WA: Some support emerge from 0.135. Bought at 0.14. Hope for a quick rebound.
Avenue: Still holding.
KLCI: should rebound now. Oversold liao.


text:
Totally Stampalicious wants to know what we like to do for fun in the summer. I pretty much do all my favorite things year-round...like making cards, playing golf and eating anything chocolate.
Until I can talk Totally Stampalicious into making a female golfer, I guess I'll just say that my favorite summer activity is playing golf with my husband, nephew or great-nephew...represented here by my favorite stand-in, GUS!
I've posted these cards before, but I am re-posting them for this week's challenge. These were all colored with Copics. The 1st, 2nd and 4th cards have American Craft's "Celebration" designer paper. The 3rd card has Karen Foster Designs "Mini Golf Ball" designer paper.


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This past Wednesday, library patrons were treated to a wonderful performance by Jerry Barlow. Barlow specializes in Celtic fingerstyle guitar, and his performances are a perennial favorite here at the Hays Public Library. He played some traditional Irish, Scottish, and English songs as well as some of his own original compositions. One of his original pieces has a Kansas tie; it was inspired by Greensburg, KS and the community's experience rebuilding after being hit by a tornado. The performance was educational as well as entertaining, as Barlow described the tradition and history behind the various songs.
Visit his website for more information, to order CDs, and to listen to music samples!


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These are the thoughts and observations of me — a woman of a certain age. (Oh, my, God, I'm 60!) I'm single. I'm successful enough (independent, self supporting). I live in the burbs and work in the city (Chicago, the best city in the world). I'm an aunt, a friend and a colleague. I feel that voices like mine are rather underrepresented online or in print. So here I am. If my musings resonate with you, please visit my blog again sometime.
Friday, August 02, 2013
15 comments:
Oh, like where you took this.ReplyDelete
posted. had lots to be happy about today!ReplyDelete
Just goes to show that your 33 words can be simple and effective. This might be just exactly what he said. Good one!ReplyDelete
Well, that's a brutal little slice of reality, isn't it? Great take on the prompt.ReplyDelete
Sorry about adding Comment Moderation, folks. But look at the bright side, at least I've gotten rid of word verification!


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When: Nov. 29-Dec. 6 2016
Works by students of Hedya Klein's ART318 class.
78 Château Rd. (Middlebury Area)
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Your Custom Text Here
Name: Kelly Carter
Studio name: StoryLight Studio
Website: https://storylightbirth.com
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
Phone: 704-561-1104
Facebook page : Story Light Birth Photography
Instagram: storylight_studio
Bio: Birth & Family Photographer serving the Greater Charlotte metro area. I specialize in providing a unique, customized experience for my clients!
Services offered: Birth, Fresh 48, Newborn, Maternity, Milestones & Family sessions


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My last post was about robin Williams... We also lost another amazing comic... yep I'm talking about Joan Rivers... I will miss them both.
My little dog Poco was hit a few weeks ago as well... I don't like talking abou sad stuff like this though.
I can't go fursuiting either. There is apparently a mask ordinance on church street that they haven't cared about since the sixties. A new suiter was stopped by a cop and now we have to figure out permits and thank dog the city likes us and is helping us as much as they can. I really appreciate that they understand why we do it and want to help, that's just really cool of them.
Things have just not been going my way... my bf and I have spent almost all of our savings on the car all of a sudden and now we need new phones and to pay rent and everything and I just feel like I can't keep up and I'll never get to save up for the things I want. Like a friend of mine is going to make me fursuit feet and I even sent her the money but I can't get to the post office and send her the stuff for trade and the shoes to build them on. I'm so close but I can't seem to make it through the final stretch. It's not a huge deal compared to many things but it's so close and I CAN NOT seem to get it and that is incredibly frustrating. I don't have the best job and I don't mind saving up but it makes me feel worse about my life that I can't seem to get anything to work.
My computer has also bitten the dust so I can't work on anything which adds to my frustration and stress levels. I feel like shit, look like shit, and can't do shit and it's terrible. Right now I don't want much past being able to save what little money I get and spend some of it on some shit for me. I feel like I'm giving everything away right now and it just sucks.
Bleh end rant for now, sorry for the negativity but I've lost a lot personally lately and I'm feeling so down.


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About Rustic Vintage Decor
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Rustic lighting options are abundant. Try some of the great iron chandeliers. If you prefer a more "lodge" look, use antler horned light fixtures or a wagon wheel-shaped chandelier. Online stores like Rustic Mountain Cabin Decor offers a massive selection of rustic lighting options for every room in the house. For rustic vintage decor theme, there are lamps with bears, moose, elk, deer, fish and antlers. There are wrought iron lighting options in either chandeliers, table lamps, floor lamps, sconces and hanging lights.
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Sunday, February 11, 2007
Japanese Movie//Hachimitsu to Clover//Honey And Clover
Hachimitsu to Clover//Honey And Clover
The hugely popular josei manga and anime series, Honey and Clover (a.k.a. Hachimitsu to Kuroubaa) has now been adapted into a full-length live action feature film starring Sakurai Sho (Engisha), Iseya Yusuke (Casshern) and Aoi Yu (Henshin). The story follows three young guys who live together whilst studying at art college. Money is tight but they find other ways to amuse themselves, especially after they are introduced to their professor's niece - Hagumi. Two of the boys fall instantly in love with her, while the other, Mayama, is off chasing an older woman. Little does he know, but their friend - the good looking and popular Ayumi is secretly in love with him.
Sakurai Shou as Takemoto Yuuta
Aoi Yuu as Hanamoto Hagumi
Iseya Yuusuke as Shinobu Morita
Ryo Kase as Mayama Takumi
Megumi Seki as Yamada Ayumi
Sakai Masato as Hanamoto Shuuji
Nishida Naomi as Harada Rika
CD1 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
CD2 Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Posted by DirectDownload at 1:48 PM
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Duane L. Ostler was raised in Southern Idaho, and has lived in Australia, Mexico, Brazil, China, the big Island of Hawaii, and—most foreign of all—New Jersey. He practiced law for over 10 years and has a PhD in legal history. He and his wife have five children and two cats.
Review by:
on Jan. 17, 2017 :
Great Book, loved it.
Truly inspiring, and a great read ���
🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 Stars from me.
(review of free book)
Review by:
Narlen & Eveline Evans
on June 03, 2016 :
Terrific story. Great ending. Read it in one day!
(review of free book)
Review by:
Aku Sedodo
on May 21, 2016 :
I love this book. I love how it kept me glued and always wondering what will happen next. Absolutely felt Lydia was real and had to warn myself it's a book. This is an interesting and well written book. I'll give it five stars because you can read and not get tired of it. God bless you Mr . Duane
(review of free book)
Review by:
Dean Thompson
on May 03, 2016 :
Excellent story. Well written. Also suitable for young adult readers. Not sure about the reported word count, it's actually fairly short.
(review of free book)


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Therapy Appointment Today
I went in wanting to say
1) that I've had some insight into my own anger: I don't have or use outlets so that I can help myself feel better.
2) although I know I have been working hard on my self-care, growth and recovery, I feel exhausted and depleted. The one positive thing I honestly have to say is not about how far I have come, but rather, "yay, I have not given up :-)!!!"
3) I have been 'hiding out' with my dissertation, not going to the office, not talking to my supervisor in the last few weeks. I feel stuck and ashamed and alone about that. Don't know how to undo or fix that and want to stop criticizing myself for 'hiding out'.
4) started group therapy two Tuesdays ago. I noticed the protective mechanisms in my attendance at the meetings… And my expectations…
Result of therapy session:
– I am "working" at everything.
– I am lonely and still isolating myself
– I can give myself outlets for anger, give myself opportunities for socializing with kind people.
– I don't know how. No one can tell me how. But I can.
Posted on January 23, 2014, in 12-step, AA, Addiction, Adult Children, codependence, emotional abuse, emotional sobriety, Inner child, Meditation, recovery, Relationship, Uncategorized, withdrawal. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.


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Don't miss stories. Follow Raw Story!
Transgender Americans: Bradley Manning isn't the only one (via The Christian Science Monitor)
Coy Mathis, left, plays with her sister Auri, at their home in Fountain, Colo. Coy is a boy, but to her family members, Coy is a transgender girl. Colorado officials recently ruled that a suburban Colorado Springs school district discriminated against…
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Players of the Day for the National and American Leagues plus Spring Training, Playoff and World Series coverage.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Sean Rodriguez Leads Rays Past Yanks; Escobar's 3 Doubles Lift Braves
Players of the Day for Friday, March 5, 2010 American League When the Yankees and Rays got together for an exhibition game in Tampa on Friday, there were two players on the field named Rodriguez. One was the well-known A-Rod; the other was an Angels cast-off, Sean Rodriguez, who is not related to his more famous namesake, but is playing like him (in fact, better than him). A-Rod went 0-for-2 as the Yankees dropped a 12-7 decision to the Rays, much of the carnage - a lot of it against Joba Chamberlain (1 1/3, 3 hits, 3 walks, 5 earned runs) - leveled by the Rays was courtesy of that other Rodriguez guy, Sean, who is listed as a second baseman, but played left field and is batting .833 with 17 total bases in three games this season with 3 homers and 5 RBI. All he did on Friday was double, triple and homer, drive in two runs and score twice. He fell a single short of hitting for the cycle. If he keeps hitting well, Rodriguez, who was acquired to back up Ben Zobrist at second, might just end up taking the position for himself or playing right field with some time as a DH. Spending most of last year in triple-A, the 24-year-old smacked 30 homers and drove in 98 runs. National League In three seasons with the Braves, Yunel Escobar has established himself as a steady hitter and a capable fielder. Coming into 2010, he's carting along a .301 lifetime batting average after hitting .299 with 14 homers and 76 RBI in 2009. In his first game this Spring, he was hitless, then had one hit against the Mets on Wednesday, but really hit his stride after a day off. On Friday, as the Braves were whipping the Nationals, 11-8, Escobar stepped up three times and scorched three doubles, driving in a pair of runs and scoring two. He appears ready for the regular season, one in which he may produce all-star numbers. MLB Preview: Toronto Blue Jays Roy Halladay is gone and so are any hopes of competing in the rugged AL East. The Blue Jays wouldn't pay one of the best pitchers in the game what he desired, so off to Philly he went. Instead, the Jays have pretty much mortgaged their future on center fielder Vernon Wells, who appears to be vastly overpaid after batting .260 with 16 homers and 60 RBI in 2009. His hefty contract is certain to keep him in a Blue Jay uniform for a good number of seasons and keep the Toronto franchise scraping along the bottom of the American League. Some hopeful signs emerged from left fielder Adam Lind (.305, 35, 114 in 2009), but besides him and first baseman Lyle Overbay, there's a serious power shortage North of the border. The Jays finished 2009 with a record of 75-87, 28 games behind the first-place Yankees, and the front office hasn't made enough moves to signal that they're ready to tangle with anybody in the division. Finishing at .500 in 2010 would be a major accomplishment what with all the trades and defections. Not only are the Jays one of the weakest-hitting squads in either league, their pitching staff is manned by a bunch of no-name guys like Ricky Romero, David Purcey, Scott Richmond and Brad Mills. Let's revise that previous statement: staying out of last place would be a major achievement in 2010. Expect the Blue jays to lose at least 95 games this season. Las Vegas has them as 125-1 to win the World Series, and that seems like a bit short. Making them 500-1 might be closer to their true odds, but it still won't produce more than 70 wins this season. Get ready for major attendance shortfalls in Toronto and calls to move the team to the Carolinas.
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As of March 14, 2016, this website is available for historical reference only and will no longer be maintained.
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About Us Contact Us Digital Edition Customer Service Gift Subscription Ad Choices Newsletters Privacy Policy RSS Terms of Service Agreement E-commerce Affiliate Relationships PCWorld CATEGORIES Business Laptops Mobile PC Hardware Printers How To Stop Apps From Opening On Startup Mac Click the Startup tab. Great site. http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-an-Application-from-Opening-at-Startup-With-Mac-OS-X But once you install a lot of programs, you'll find that startup times slow down a lot.
December 23, 2016 How to Fix an Unresponsive Windows 10 Touchscreen - 5 Easy Remedies December 22, 2016 Review: Google Keep for iOS December 21, 2016 Five Ways to Spot and Add Program To Startup Windows 7 These options come in handy if you have a bunch of software installed on your PC, or if you aren't exactly sure what that program is and don't know whether you Chose your startup item, then click the Add button at the bottom right of the dialog. Always back up the registry before making any changes.
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Related Posts: How to Encrypt a PDF with PDFelement Password Protection + a groovyGiveaway! You can disable these with either the Task Manager in Windows 10 and 8.x, or the System Configuration Utility (msconfig.exe) in Windows 7. Typically it will be available under a menu labeled Settings, Preferences, Options, or Tools.3. Yeah!
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I bought this game not expecting it would be any good, got it very cheap in a sale.
Requires Android:.2 and up, installs: 100,000 - 500,000, rating: Content Rating: High Maturity.What is wrong with this game?Play Real Horror Stories, please Share This Game If You Have Enjoyed It!This game is slightly scary, sometimes it will cause me to jump but most of the time not.Learn more, got it, my Account, search.
Soon, new crops will come to life from her pregnant soils.
Contacts, hangouts, keep, even more from Google, hidden fields.
Many lives have been lost here.
Current Version:.7.1, size: 24MB.
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Wow woopdee do not scary or interesting.
And there is no verbal narration at all.Do you dare to enter?Would you enter the realm of the dead, where tormented souls live in eternal darkness?Translate, photos, more, shopping, kick drum sample wav docs, books, blogger.The gates of death cannot remain shut for very much longer.By using our services, you agree to our use of cookies.You are now at the entrance of the terror."I'll send you back to her soil, to quench the earth's thirst for blood.".I think I've been desensitised, hardly anything scares or repulses me anymore.Can't read the text in the security image?It says Urban stories but Iam not sure what they are, you just have some ghosts or such jump out at you and get some newspaper clipping covered in blood saying pregnant woman found butchered, killer unknown, it does not go into any story.Generate a New Image, enter the code above.


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Today I went on a ride. In some ways this was just another ordinary ride. We would leave in the morning ride the familiar roads or trails in the area, hope that it was helping us get faster, stronger, cooler (you know, the usual for riding), and just enjoy being outside and on a bike. However, when I ride with Andrew (which is on most rides) some rides aren't so ordinary. Let me back up for a second and explain how our rides develop...
Andrew or myself, start the first text usually the day before the ride: "We riding tomorrow?"
"Sure, what time?"
[Insert some relatively earning morning time, depending on the various circumstances (weather, time the sun comes up, our schedules)]
Andrew: "Where we going?"
Me: "I was thinking [insert whatever I was thinking, which is usually some super cool ride that is right in line with what we both were thinking and just didn't say to each other yet, cuz I'm good like that.]"
Andrew: "Okay."
Then, on occasion Andrew will have some great idea of something fun we can do. This is usually a fun ride for him, and a punishing ride for me. SIDE NOTE: Andrew is very gracious to ride with and will ride either with me as I am killing it (or it's more likely killing me), or won't get too far ahead. SIDE SIDE NOTE: I will also admit, I am always glad he pushes me. Of course, this gladness is not during the ride, it comes after the ride and I am still alive. SIDE SIDE SIDE NOTE: Of course Andrew is a better rider than I am, but he usually doesn't have to wait too much for me (on road rides), so let's be sure I don't paint too miserable of a picture of myself.
So, this week Andrew actually texts me, that he's wanting to do some climbing around Santa Clarita, going beyond a summit called Bear Divide we have hit a couple times (okay, him a few times and me only once). This would drop us down into the LA area, from which we would circle back up to Santa Clarita via some side roads. I knew with his discreet text the route he would want to take, and I wasn't excited about it. But, as Friday night draws on I continue to get texts telling me I can do it, it will be fun, blah blah blah.
Me: "Let me pull it up." I pull up the ride on RideWithGPS and notice a couple things. Yes, the ride is just as I would have thought in terms of its route. However, I also notice that after Bear Divide the road does in fact turn downhill, but this is followed by another turn back up with a similar ride to up a second summit called Dillon Divide. Only then do we descend down into Pacoima, and start a 17-18 mile ride back to Santa Clarita. This part of the ride, I figure, should be mostly a slight incline, but there will be at least one grinding stretch that I am dreading. But it will not be as hard as the other climbs.
The conversation then followed as such:
Andrew: "What do you think?"
Me: "I think you're crazy."
Andrew: "Just remember who got me into road riding..."
And with that, ladies and gentlemen, how could I refuse? I was in.
I'm up at 4:45 and gathering my stuff, and by 5:30 we're out in the dark and off to see what hills awaited us. It's good to get a second ride in that starts in the dark so I am able to use my light again. Besides, the roads are more open and if I'm being honest, I love seeing riders later in the day that are just starting their ride as the sun is coming up and they see our lights and can tell we've been out for a while. It makes us look a bit more hard core. Though I know that I am very far from that, for just a minute they don't.
Riding up Placerita Canyon to Sand Canyon I can see where the week's previous downpour has moved a significant amount of dirt and large rocks into the road that have since been pushed to the side. We are going up the few hills along Placerita, and I am a bit concerned as I feel out of tired and recognize the bigger climbs await.
"Just relax, take it a hill at a time," I think. Also entering my mind at this time are the encouraging sayings I that one of the instructors would shout out at spin class. I would laugh to myself during class as she would yell them, but I will admit, it probably helped in class. "YES YOU CAN," and "THIS IS WHY YOU CAME!" I am not sure it was really helping at that point in the ride, but at least the thought of the somewhat cheesy motivating cheers did help me forget about the hills.
We were through Placerita and started slowly up Sand Canyon as we were both getting into the chocolate and blueberry rice cakes Andrew had made the night before. We had not had them before and they were pretty tasty. (I have realized that my stomach isn't as tough as rocks, so I've got to be figuring out what will and won't work on longer rides.)
I am happy to say that the ride up to Bear Divide actually felt shorter than the time I rode it before. That's not to say it wasn't grueling, it just didn't seem as long. We stopped at the top long enough to visit for a minute, a for me to take a couple pics.
|(Facing north from Bear Divide, towards Santa Clarita)
|(Facing south from Bear Divide, LA is over the hills)
The drop down the south side of Bear Divide was fun, but I've still got as much work to do on my descending as I do on my climbing. I was held up a bit more than usual as I thought for a minute that one of my shifters was broken. Luckily, once we reached the bottom and we were started back up to Dillon Divide, I realized all was well. (I just didn't notice I was already in my highest gear...did I mention I was tired...)
The climb back up to Dillon Divide looked to be about the same difficulty as climbing up to Bear Divide. I will admit that is probably would have been about the same difficulty on its own, but having just done Bear Divide the inclines felt steeper and at least as long. Needless to say we made it to the top, and the ride down into the city was a blast.
Riding back up to Santa Clarita on the edge of town was so-so. It was good to have some easier riding, but annoying to get caught at most EVERY SINGLE stop light.
Riding between Sylmar and Newhall were the two hills that, while not overly big, I knew were coming and thought often about during the entire ride. The first came just out of Sylmar. Not overly long, but with a good amount of incline and no shoulder for such a busy road. This we managed to tackle fairly well, and it was a quick drop back down and under the freeway to get to The Old Road. This climb, again, probably wouldn't be the worst hill I had ridden in the day, but it came at the end of the others. Here was just over a mile's worth of straight, boring, steady uphill riding.
Fighting off the now growing desire to stop I turn to the main way thus far that I have found to trick myself into going "just that little bit further." I start counting down from 30. "Okay, once I get to zero I will reassess, and hope that somehow I am considerably further along my way up the hill." Then when I get to zero, I tell myself, "Okay, you're still alive, let's doing the counting thing again. Starting at 30, 29..." (This tactic is used almost every time I am out of the saddle.) Oddly enough, this sort of works for me. And on this hill, I had to count several times.
Once at the top, it was a nice downhill section and a pretty easy ride home. (Though at one point I thought Andrew was taking me up ANOTHER HILL to which I told him once I caught up with him, "I thought we were friends up until about 10 seconds ago." He laughed, and once I saw what the road was like that we were taking I was quick to forgive him.
In the end it was about a 41 mile ride with ~4800 feet of climbing. (Give or take a couple hundred feet, depending on whose devise you want to rely on. Personally I like mine, it showed just over 5000 feet.) It was a great ride to have completed, and I feel a bit better knowing that I was able to do it. It will serve as a reminder next time we've got more hills in front of us and my mind is screaming, "NO!!!" From smiling as I laugh of the cleshays "yes you can" and "this is why you came" running through my head, to the agonizing countdowns to get me over a hill, it's always good to accomplish a ride that you haven't done before and were weary of. Now on to find the next one.