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The largest group lobbying for North Carolina's public schools appears to be violating state law, a Republican state legislator says.
However, the North Carolina Association of Educators says it believes the state is targeting its members unconstitutionally.
The allegations deal with money – specifically, the group's ability to collect its membership dues from the paychecks of 6,402 teachers and other school employees who opt for that method of payment.
A years-long pursuit of the NCAE by the Republican-led legislature has so far cost taxpayers tens of thousands of dollars with little to show for it. The NCAE is a major donor to Democrats.
What's known is laid out in an audit the state released earlier this month.
The audit is supposed to find out how many members belong to groups and associations that lobby on behalf of state workers. Those types of groups can allow members to pay their dues by automatically deducting them from their paychecks, but state law has a cutoff.
Non-education groups like the State Employees Association of North Carolina have to have at least 2,000 members. But groups like the NCAE must have at least 40,000 members.
That higher requirement for the NCAE predates Republican leadership of the state legislature, although it's unclear if state officials ever checked on these groups' membership before the GOP took charge.
The legislature started requiring the audits in 2014, after a different Republican-backed law targeting the NCAE was struck down in court as unconstitutional. But each year, the NCAE simply refuses to cooperate.
"... It certainly appears NCAE is refusing to respond because it does not meet the requirement and is violating the law," Republican Sen. Ralph Hise said in an email.
Hise is a critic of the NCAE who was a driving force behind the audit requirement.
The NCAE says it doesn't have to comply with the audit.
"The NCAE believe the law as written and being implemented by the state Auditor is overly intrusive in violation of the constitutional rights of the association and its members and further exceeds the authority of the state Auditor," the group wrote in a letter to state officials earlier this year.
State Auditor Beth Wood's office agrees that it can't force the NCAE to do anything.
"We do not have the authority to compel NCAE to turn over this information because, as a private entity, NCAE does not fall under the authority of the State Auditor," the audit says.
Wood is a Democrat. A database maintained by the National Institute on Money in State Politics doesn't show any contributions to her campaigns by the NCAE.
So far, the NCAE's refusal to comply with the audits hasn't led to any legal action or other punishment. The audits, meanwhile, have taken up hundreds of hours of time at the auditor's office.
This year's audit, which was the fastest and cheapest yet, took 230 hours at a cost of $23,690.
Political retaliation?
The start of the audits in 2014 wasn't the first recent attempt by legislators targeted at the NCAE.
One of the very first things GOP lawmakers did after gaining control of the state legislature in 2011 was take away the NCAE's ability to use automatic deductions for dues.
However, in 2013 a judge ruled that unconstitutional.
That law violated the group's right to free speech and was "retaliatory viewpoint discrimination," according to the ruling by Wake County Superior Court Judge Paul Gessner.
But Hise wants to take another crack at getting rid of automatic payroll deductions. And this time he doesn't want to target only the NCAE. Instead, he wants to ban every group from using the process.
"I believe the best solution to ensure a private group stops breaking the law is to eliminate this carve-out altogether, which is why I sponsored a bill to do so that passed the Senate during the long session and why I encourage the House to take it up next year," he said.
These automatic deductions are lucrative, since they're more likely to come through than payments that people have to remember to make each period.
If Hise's bill passes, tens of thousands of state employees belonging to a dozen or more lobbying groups would be affected.
Union membership down
The NCAE is an affiliate of the National Education Association, the national teacher's union which reports having 32,918 North Carolina members in the 2015-16 school year.
That's an 8.6 percent decline from the year before. And according to Mike Antonucci, who writes about unions for the education website The 74 Million, the NEA's membership in North Carolina has dropped more than 40 percent in the last five years.
That doesn't necessarily mean the NCAE's membership has dropped by a similar amount, since the two groups are separate. But across the country, union participation has been on the decline for decades.
Financial statements from the NCAE also don't clear up the membership mystery.
Since it's a nonprofit, parts of its annual tax returns are public. The NCAE had just over $7 million in revenue in 2016, including about $4.8 million from dues.
If the group had exactly 40,000 dues-paying members, that would mean it collected an average of $120.11 per person.
That's less than what it cost for full-time ($247) or part-time ($123.50) school employees to join in the 2016-17 school year. That doesn't necessarily mean the NCAE doesn't have 40,000 members. The group also has a number of other membership options, with annual dues as low as $25.
Either way, membership appears to be dropping: The NCAE's dues revenue in 2016 was down by more than $1 million from 2014, when it collected $5.9 million in dues.
Doran: 919-836-2858; Twitter: @will_doran
How many workers join?
While the NCAE's membership numbers remain a mystery to the public, most of the groups contacted by the state auditor did cooperate.
Here are the membership totals they reported. Take those numbers with a grain of salt, because the state has no way of double-checking to see if their answers are accurate. However, the state can verify how many members of each group pay their dues through automatic deductions.
Some of the larger groups:
State Employees Association of NC: 50,849 members – 27,493 on payroll deduction
NC Association of Educators: Membership unknown – 6,402 on payroll deduction
Professional Educators of NC: 4,227 members – 1,017 on payroll deduction
Southern States Police Benevolent Association: 10,272 members – 3,480 on payroll deduction
NC Troopers Association: 2,084 members – 1,377 on payroll deduction
NC Public Service Workers Union: 5,342 members – 616 on payroll deduction


text:
Aviation Minister, Osita Chidoka rode a bicycle to final FEC meeting in Abuja. Yesterday's FEC meeting is the last in the life of the administration of President Goodluck Jonathan.Speaking to journalists, Chidoka said he rode the
bicycle to the meeting in a bid to drive home a point that all means of transportation are very vital.The minister expressed immense gratitude for the opportunity he received to serve the nation under President Jonathan's administration which would be officially over on Friday, May 29, 2015.
He said, "The most important thing is that we have done our best and we are moving on. The president has allowed the widening of democracy."

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Project information
Shivia Microfinance and Livelihood Development
The aim of Shivia is to empower people to lift themselves out of poverty, using microfinance and livelihood development models as effective tools. We aim to provide skills-based training for productive enterprise. Shivia works in India and Nepal with dedicated teams in the UK and India.
It is continous
Charity information: Shivia
According to World Bank's 2005 report, over 40% of India's total population falls under the "$1.25 purchasing power parity (PPP) per day" poverty line. Clearly, the scale of Indian poverty is vast, and the needs to alleviate the situation equally so. Shivia is dedicated to alleviating poverty through provision of goods and/or services which can enable individuals in India and Nepal to help themselves out of poverty. We do not believe in handouts but in giving people toolkits and skills instead
Our ultimate focus is on teaching skills so individuals can engage in productive enterprise. We introduced our "livelihood model" in May 2011 whereby we provide assets as well as loans for specific enterprises to ensure that our clients are engaged in productive, market-driven enterprises. The provision of assets will ensure that borrowers do not spend their loans on other consumption purposes or indeed on enterprises which have very small margins and are production rather than demand driven.
Aim 1
To raise funds to support livelihood development
Activities» Fund-raise in the UK (foundations, individuals and companies) and next year we plan to fund-raise locally in India too.
What success will look like
To raise enough funds to cover the cost of our core team and operations for a set time period so that we plan effectively rather than rely on ad hoc donations
Aim 2
To provide financial, management and social impact controls
Activities» We have in place good financial and management controls with a hands on approach to ensure borrowers repay loans and use them for intended purposes.
» We implement social impact assessments on an annual basis for all borrowers to measure and track the soical impact of our work
What success will look like
To demonstrate that loans are repaid, that the teams understand our clients and that annual social impact results show key indicators such as household income increasing.
Aim 3
To get the right people in the right jobs in India and the UK to be successful and sustainable
Activities» Employ people who are deciskilled yet passionate about what we do. We have to pay salaries to attract professionals yet create the right work ethos
What success will look like
Success will be demonstrated in the long-term by the same core team remaining true to our mission of poverty alleviation with other professionals applying to be part of Shivia
The key long term indiciators will be increased household income, children in school and access to medical services. We also measure levels of empowerment amongst our clients. Success will be demonstrated through our repeat annual social impact assessments comparing data sets for individual borrowers, combined with anecdotes from borrwowers.
In the UK, lack of funding for our work is also a risk for charities - we try to get donors to committ for sustained periods and become "partners" rather than donors. We need more funds for core costs to get good people in place - as high salaries can't be the incentive we try to create a good and exciting team spirit. In microfinance gnerally, commercial players have given the industry a bad name - we have emphasised our aim of poverty alleviation rather than making money out of the poor
We report to donors to fulfil their criteria through a mix of regular reports, newsletters, the annual reports, and informal updates. We also encourage larger donors to come and visit the work to bring it to life and see where their money has gone. We are keen to introduce standardised reporting.
Budget - Project Cost: £57,000Loading graph....
Amount Heading Description £30,000 CEO To pay the UK CEO £10,000 PA To pay the UK part-time PA £17,000 Running costs To keep the ship afloat
We fund-raise primarly in the UK and have our operations in India and Nepal. We work in the poor rural areas of West Bengal, India (our own operations), 30 miles north of Kolkata; the urban slums of Ahmedabad, Gujarat, India (through our local partner) and in the rural areas of Western Nepal (through our local partner). In Nepal, our work is in the Maoist heartland and is an area affected by not only poverty but Nepal's ten year conflict.
In India, we target those living near or below the World Bank's poverty line of USD 1.25 per day. They are a mix of rural dwellers who are often far from any proper services and slum dwellers who have left their families back hom in search of work and income to provide remittance. In Nepal, most our borrowers are below the poverty line and also from the lowest castes and therefore socially excluded in life. They have been affected by Nepal's conflict and many lost their husbands during it.
Why Us?
Why Us?
Shivia is best placed to carry out this project becuase we have a committed and passionate team in both the UK and India. We have stayed true to our mission of poverty alleviation when others in microfinance got distracted by the carrot of profits and since we are small and flexible - not bogged down by bureaucracy and red tape - we have been able to innovate to address the downfalls of the industry
Read more about the Charity running this project.
Olly Donnelly
Chief Executive. Olly set up Shivia in 2007 due to her long-standing commitment to the region and a passion to help communities she had lived with
Vasant Subramanyan
Chairman, Shivia India. Vasant is a serial entrepreneur and drives Shivia forward in India. He is dedicated to give back to his country
Brooke Johns
CFO, Shivia. Brooke is a retired accountant who works tireless 7 days per week on Shivia, pro-bono. He believes that our livelihood model WILL work
Dilli Chaudhary
President, BASE, Shivia's partner in Nepal. BASE and Shivia have a true partnership with aligned goals and work closely together to achieve them
One life changing loan in India and Nepal


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Adventures in Bookland: Jesus by Paul JohnsonTuesday, October 17th, 2017
Here's an impious thought for the impious: surely there's something deeply wonderful that the most important man in human history was a carpenter, a poor man living in the first century equivalent of Walsall, rather than a conqueror or a king. Think of those other candidates for most important man in history, generally surnamed 'the great', such as Alexander or Cyrus or Napoleon: they arrived at their greatness by swimming across rivers of blood. What Paul Johnson does in this little book, and does marvellously, is show why that carpenter from Nazareth was:
so extraordinary and protean, passionate yet deliberative, straightforward and subtle, full of authority and even, at times, stern, yet also infinitely kind, understanding, forgiving, and loving, so dazzling in his excellences that those close to him had no hesitation in accepting his divinity.
There is a question that Jesus is related to have asked his disciples. "Who do people say I am?" And they answered, giving the speculations of the people as to who this extraordinary preacher and miracle worker might be. Then Jesus said, "But you, who do you say I am?"
The question is asked of each of us. It may be the most important question ever posed.


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text: Sorry if this isn't in the right section. Looking for a private ewhore offer I can run or something similar. Needs to be a cc submit that pays atleast $40 and also discrete that it charges them. Weekly payout also would be great. If the offer is iframed that would be awesome. I'm not to big but can get 100 sales weekly. Please pm with you aol name so I can get in contact. Thanks


text:
By Vaughan Brookfield
You are here
Rotorua is most famous for its rich Maori culture and geothermal activity. Rotorua township is central to exploring all this region has on offer.
Entertaining in any weather, Rotorua will captivate you with its shooting geysers, intriguing Maori villages and thrilling adventure activities.
In Hamurana, streamside walk runs through a Redwood grove with beautiful views of the crystal clear stream, that runs out into Lake Rotorua.
The timber town of Murupura sits at the edge of the Kaingaroa Forest. If hunting and fishing are on your agenda, you'll find plenty of action here.
Lake Rotoiti ("the small lake") is actually a relatively large lake lying to the east of Rotorua, and is connected to Lake Rotorua by the Ohau Channel.
Just outside Rotorua, Okere Falls is famed for its rapids and waterfalls.
The charming town of Lake Okareka is situated in the picturesque setting of hills, native forest and farmland off the main tourist route.
Known as the 'sunny side of the mountain', beautiful Ngongotaha sits on the northwest shores of Lake Rotorua.
Check out what other travelers say about New Zealand on TripAdvisor.
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Cancer chemotherapy
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The Seven Horseshoes Hotel is a budget lodging with 10 ensuite bedrooms and traditional Irish hospitality, located in Belturbet, County Cavan. The family-run hotel also possesses a popular bar and restaurant.
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For more information on travel, accommodation and attractions have a look at our brochures and maps.
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About Belize
Belize shares borders with Mexico to the North and to the
West and South with Guatemala. Even though it is a
Central American Country Belize is still part of the
Caribbean culture and boasts 185 miles of the longest
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All articles in category Ivory Coast
April 2003
Ivory Coast
Storm over the Ivory Coast
Who would have thought it? The September uprising in the Ivory Coast took many by surprise. The Ivory Coast has for a long time been something of a role model in terms of its stability and development. Even in Africa, where political stability is not necessarily regarded as a virtue, the country was heading in the right direction. Yet now it faces months, maybe years, of conflict and unrest. Everyone knew there was unrest following the disappearance of the former president, Félix Houphouet-Boigny in 1993. Politicians found it very difficult to fill the shoes of the 'Old Man'. But recently, especially after the election of...Read more


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New Mortgage APR Calculator
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Tracking Mortgage News about Interest Rates, Mortgage Loan Programs and their effect on real estate, also the Newest Tools and Mortgage Calculators that Help You make Informed Descisions When Comparing Mortgage Loan Offers. Mortgage News is the official blog of...
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Labels: altos research, equity estimator, mortgage calculator, NAR, realtor.com
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No Private Mortgage Insurance
There may be an incremental cost for the No Private Mortgage Insurance (PMI) option.
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Smart Wallpaper will allow you to set a different wallpaper image for different situations. You will not get bored to see the same image all the time!
Requirements: 4.1+
You can choose a different image based on the this conditions:
* Weather;
* Part of the day;
* Day of the week;
* Month;
* The WiFi network that you are connected;
* Or just select a random list of images.
Some examples:
* Set a darker image in the evening, and lighter in the morning.
* Set a food related image when you usually have your meals.
* Use a different image when you are connected to the office WiFi and the home WiFi.
* Select a different image for your working days and for the weekend.
… and much more!
⚫ Fix for bug that select the wrong category after the update (sorry);
⚫ Major improvements in the quality of the images – you will need to load the image again to see it;
⚫ HUGE speed improvements when you load an image;
⚫ UI/UX changes;
⚫ Memory improvements;
⚫ Bug fixes;
Please, keep writing at [email protected] if you find some bug, or if you have some idea on how to improve the app!
Thank you all!
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text:
Congratulations to Certified Master® Chef Jason Hall, who was
awarded his CMC® designation on Aug. 11, after successfully
completing the
American Culinary Federation's (ACF) grueling eight-day Certified Master
Chef® (CMC®) exam, Aug. 4-11, sponsored by McCormick For Chefs.
Obtaining the CMC designation is an enormous accomplishment and Chef
Hall earned it. He is a consummate chef.
We sincerely thank The Culinary Institute of America team, the CMC
evaluators, the apprentices and our exam sponsor, McCormick For Chefs,
without them this exam would not have been possible. We also thank the
six other CMC candidates, as each of them displayed tremendous courage
and the qualities of a chef that make us proud.
ACF took you into the kitchens of The Culinary Institute of America
in Hyde Park, N.Y., with updates, below, photos and videos through Twitter
with the hashtag #ACFCMC and Facebook. Follow the seven candidates'
journey from start to finish.
It was an intense day of cooking for the three CMC candidates. Jason
Hall, CEC, started off the continental cuisine segment at 7 a.m.,
followed by Ryan Baxter, CEC, at 7:30 a.m. and Paul Kampff, CEC, 8 a.m.
The chefs had four hours to prepare and 30 minutes to serve
10-portions of the required three northern European cuisines. All three
candidates earned the minimum 70 points needed to continue
to the final afternoon segment, the mystery basket.
The candidates were back in the kitchen and received their mystery
basket of
ingredients after only a 30-minute break from completing the continental
cuisine segment. The mystery basket had many interesting items
and featured vegetables grown at the CIA. They had five hours and 30
minutes to develop, prepare and serve a five-course menu for ten people
that included an appetizer, soup, fish course, salad and main course.
Chef Hall's service window at began at 5 p.m., and chefs Baxter and
Kampff followed in 30-minute intervals.
The floor evaluators for both cooking segments were lead evaluator J.
Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC;
Ken Arnone, CMC, WGMC; and Russell Scott, CMC, WGMC. There were two
teams of tasting evaluators for the different segments that included
lead evaluator Helmut Holzer, CMC, WGMC; Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC;
Victor Gielisse, CMC, AAC, CHE; John Kinsella, CMC, CCE, AAC, WGMC;
Edward Leonard, CMC, AAC, WGMC; and Rudy Speckamp, CMC.
Anticipation and nervousness grew throughout the day, as family and
watched and waited. The final plate was presented to the tasting
evaluators at 6:25 p.m. After the scores were tabulated, Test
Chef Barnes was pleased to congratulate and announce the newest addition
to the CMC group, Jason Hall, CMC. Chef Hall received congratulations
from the other CMCs and was presented with a certificate, pin and patch.
It was a proud and memorable moment for ACF and everyone involved
with the exam. There are now 67 ACF Certified Master Chefs with Chef
Hall's certification.
The scoring system for this grueling,
non-stop eight-day exam involves numerous passing and retakes
thresholds. Chefs Baxter and Kampff had a tremendous week of cooking,
and while they had enough points to continue to the afternoon mystery
basket segment, they did not earn a cumulative average of 75
or higher on the two segments for the day. The exam standards state that
if a chef passes all segments with a 75-cumulative score for
the first seven days, but does not earn the required 75 average on the
final day, they have the option to retake the final day of the
exam at a later date. The scoring results for both provide them with
this opportunity. We wish them success as they plan ahead for the
ACF sincerely thanks Chef Barnes and his team at the CIA for hosting
a successful exam. The exam is a tremendous undertaking and the CIA
apprentices and assistants were extremely hospitable, showed great skill
and made the process seamless. Also, thank you to the CMC evaluators,
led by chefs Walker, Holzer and Lawrence McFadden, CMC. The exam would
not have taken place without these CMCs contributing their time and
Lastly, thank you to McCormick For Chefs for sponsoring the exam.
Please join us in congratulating Certified Master Chef Hall.
He showed perseverance, dedication and above all, mastery of cooking. He
has earned the right to wear and use the prestigious CMC title.
The aromas of vol-au-vents, pecan streusel banana muffins, brioche and
rosemary parmesan bread filled the hallways at the CIA on day seven, the
baking and pastry segment, of the CMC exam. Ryan Baxter, CEC, was the
first candidate to start at 8 a.m. Shawn Loving, CEC, CCA; Jason Hall,
CEC; and Paul Kampff, CEC; followed in 30-minute intervals. The
candidates had five hours to prepare and present the following four
Evaluation criteria included product size and shape consistency,
presentation, finishing and baking techniques, marketability, taste and
texture. Three pastry chefs, Thomas Vacarro, CMB; Noble Masi, CEPC, AAC,
HOF, CMB; and Gunther Heiland, CMPC, AAC; served as both floor and
tasting evaluators. John Kinsella, CMC, CCE, AAC, WGMC; Russell Scott,
CMC, WGMC; and J. Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC; also served as tasting
The candidates were able to present their bread items at any point
during their baking time, but the visual highlight was the plated
desserts presented toward the end of each candidate's service window.
Several of those desserts were as follows:
While Chef Loving did well on many segments of the exam, he did not
earn enough points today to accumulate the minimum average of 75 for the
week. Therefore, he will not continue to the final day of the exam
tomorrow, Aug. 11. It is difficult on everyone when a candidate leaves,
but even more so when it happens this far into the exam. ACF was proud
and honored to have Chef Loving as a candidate, and we wish him much
The three remaining candidates advancing to day eight, the final day,
attended a briefing on the continental cuisine segment facilitated by
Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC, and Chef Walker.
Day eight is an extremely intense day with each of the candidates
preparing two different menus in two separate cooking segments. In the
first session, continental cuisine, candidates will prepare the three
entrées below from different northern European countries.
At the completion of the continental cuisine segment, the candidates
will start the second cooking segment, which is the mystery basket and
the final exam element. They will have five hours to plan and prepare a
five-course meal from a mystery basket of ingredients.
The CMC exam is approaching its end. The candidates are excellent
chefs and day eight will be an exciting culmination of years of practice
and preparation. Much success to all!
The kitchens at the CIA turned international, as the objective of the
day was for each candidate to demonstrate their knowledge of global
cuisine by preparing three main dishes from different regions of the
world. They were evaluated on how they represented the traditions,
philosophies and methodology indicative of each of the regional
The candidates prepared the same three
entrées, but personalized them with accompaniments of their choice.
The three dishes below were to be designed for a festive, special
Paul Kampff, CEC, again, was the first to start at 8 a.m. He was
followed by Jason Hall, CEC; Shawn Loving, CEC, CCA; and Ryan Baxter,
CEC, in 30 minute intervals. The candidates had four hours to prepare
and 30 minutes to serve 10-portions of the dishes. Chimichurri,
sautéed chard with raisins, sweet potato salad, ensalada rusa and
khoriatiki salata were a sampling of the accompaniments. Four portions
had to be plated and six presented on platters for Russian service. The
last service window ended at 2 p.m.
The floor evaluators were lead evaluator J. Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC;
Dieter Doppelfeld, CMC; and Edward Leonard, CMC, AAC, WGMC; as well as
apprentice evaluators Daniel Dumont, CMC, and Robert Mancuso, CMC.
Overall the candidates received favorable comments regarding
organization, preparation, cooking techniques, cleanliness and
The tasting evaluators were lead evaluator Helmut Holzer, CMC, WGMC;
Ken Arnone, CMC, WGMC; Victor Gielisse, CMC, AAC, CHE; and John
Kinsella, CMC, CCE, AAC, WGMC. They assessed each candidate's
three entrées and scored them on taste and the traditional
integrity of the dish.
After evaluator scores were tallied, the four candidates learned they
had passed and would continue to day seven tomorrow, the baking and
pastry segment. CMC Test Administrator Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC, and
Chef Walker reviewed the day with the candidates and provided
suggestions as to how they should be thinking ahead to the final day,
Saturday, Aug. 11, of the exam. The candidates continued to closely
monitor their scores to ensure that they had enough points to continue
to the final day. A total of 450 points or a cumulative average of 75
points per cooking segment is required by day's end tomorrow,
Friday, Aug. 10, to continue to the final day.
The candidates attended a briefing with Gunther Heiland, CMPC, AAC;
Noble Masi, CEPC, AAC, HOF, CMB; and Thomas Vaccaro, CMB, before leaving
the test site for the day. The elements and expectations of the baking
and pastry segment of the exam were outlined.
The candidates were provided a market basket of 16 different items
comprised of six proteins, four vegetables, three starches, lettuce and
two supplementary items for the freestyle cooking segment. While they
could requisition other items, they were required to use each ingredient
in the basket.
Paul Kampff, CEC, was the first to start at 8 a.m. followed by Ryan
Baxter, CEC; Shawn Loving, CEC, CCA; and Jason Hall, CEC, in 30-minute
intervals. The freestyle segment allowed the candidates to showcase
their personal cooking techniques and talents in any food style they
desired. This was a big change from the confines of the classical
cooking segment yesterday. The chefs had to prepare 10 portions of a
four-course menu of soup, fish, salad and entrée. Four portions had
to be plated and six presented on platters for Russian service. They had
four hours to prepare and a 30-minute service window.
The following menu was presented by a
All service was completed by 2:15 p.m. Chef Kampff had his
entrée course remaining when his service window closed at 12:30
p.m., so he had to wait until 2:05 p.m. and had 10 minutes to complete
his menu service.
Floor evaluators for the day were lead evaluator J. Kevin Walker,
CMC, AAC; Dieter Doppelfeld, CMC; Helmut Holzer, CMC, WGMC; and Brian
Sode, CMC. The tasting evaluators were lead evaluator Lawrence McFadden,
CMC; Thomas Griffiths, CMC; Dan Hugelier, CMC; and Tim Ryan, CMC,
All four candidates passed this section of the exam and will continue
to day six, global cooking. The candidates were keeping a close watch on
their scores, as a total of 450 points or a cumulative average of 75
points per cooking segment is required by the end of the day on Friday,
Aug. 10, in order to continue to the final day.
Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC, and J. Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC, conducted
the briefing for the global cooking segment tomorrow. The candidates
then drew for service order for the baking and pastry segment on Friday,
Aug. 10. Their menus and requisitions were due by 6 a.m. tomorrow. It
would be another late night of planning for the candidates.
It was a successful day, as the four remaining candidates passed the
classical cooking segment of the exam and will continue to day five.
Classical cooking is not a style of cooking these chefs normally
practice in their daily operations, however, it is the foundation of
cooking and provides techniques for developing flavors.
Ryan Baxter, CEC; Jason Hall, CEC; Paul Kampff, CEC; and Shawn
Loving, CEC, CCA; were assigned a basket with either tenderloin and
monkfish or rack of lamb and cod. They had to interpret and execute a
menu according to the philosophy of Auguste Escoffier consisting of a
soup, fish and entrée. Because Escoffier does not have recipes for
monkfish, the candidates with that basket had to choose a recipe
featuring a fish with the same characteristics and use that as a
The candidates had four hours to prepare and a 30-minute service
window to present a 10-serving menu to the evaluators. Chef Loving, the
first candidate, started his setup at 7:30 a.m. Chef Kampff, the last
candidate, completed his service at 2 p.m.
Floor evaluators Thomas Griffiths, CMC; Derin Moore, CMC; Brian Sode,
CMC, AAC; and lead floor evaluator J. Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC, watched
the candidates' techniques as they prepared various dishes.
Several of the dishes were Consommé aux Quenelles à la Moelle,
Cabillaud Crème au Gratin, Monkfish à la Française,
Côtelettes d'Agneau à la Navarraise, Tournedos
Maréchal and Pommes de Terre Noisette.
Lead tasting evaluator Lawrence McFadden, CMC; and Mark Erickson,
CMC; Helmut Holzer, CMC, WGMC; and Fritz Sonnenschmidt, CMC, AAC, HOF;
commented on the complexity of the flavors developed in many of the
plates. Throughout the day, evaluators referenced Escoffier Le
Guide Culinaire to ensure that the classical techniques were
followed correctly.
Scoring for the tasting evaluation was as
After each candidate received his critique from the evaluators and
learned his score, the candidates attended a briefing facilitated by Brad
Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC; and Chef Walker. The requirements and
expectations for the next cooking segment, freestyle, were discussed,
and the candidates received their menus for the global segment on
Thursday, Aug. 9. Food and china requisitions for the global cooking
segment were due by 6 a.m. tomorrow.
Paul Kampff, CEC, was the first to start in the kitchen at 9 a.m.
Following in 30-minute intervals were John Thompson, CEC; Ryan Baxter,
CEC; David Daniot, CEC; Alan Neace, CEC, AAC; Jason Hall, CEC; and Shawn
Loving, CEC, CCA. Each candidate had three hours to complete and present
their cold food platters; a culmination of 12 hours of preparation the
prior day.
The last platter was presented at 3 p.m. While all the chefs met
their service window, it came down to the last minute for one chef who
finished with just seconds to spare.
The chefs were given the option to prepare their platters in a
separate cooler room rather than the kitchen, which could have adverse
effects on their platters. Four of the seven chefs chose to do so, while
three remained in the kitchen. CMC exam observers were able to view the
platters first hand as they were carried down the hallway to the
evaluator's room, such as the menu below.
Basket 2 Candidate Menu
The candidates received individual critiques from both the floor and
tasting evaluators. The floor evaluators for this segment of the exam
were lead floor evaluator J. Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC; Thomas Griffiths,
CMC; Oliver Andreini, CMC; and apprentice evaluator Brian Sode, CMC,
AAC. Tasting evaluators were lead evaluator Lawrence McFadden, CMC;
Helmut Holzer, CMC, WGMC; Mark Erickson, CMC; Fritz Sonnenschmidt, CMC,
AAC, HOF; and Derin Moore, CMC.
The candidates are also evaluated daily on their leadership abilities
and proficiency to coach their student apprentice. Each candidate
receives a different student apprentice, a student at CIA, each day. The
candidates are encouraged to talk with their apprentice prior to each
cooking session, and assign, as well as direct, the apprentice in
culinary activities that will best help them in completing their menu in
the allotted time. The floor evaluators observed that the candidates had
effectively coached their apprentices throughout the day and that the
apprentices were learning a great deal.
Criteria for kitchen scores include sanitation, station organization,
cleanliness, cooking fundamentals and use of the ingredients. The
tasting score is just that. With cold platters, the arrangement and
colors are part of the package, but flavor and texture determine the
majority of the tasting score.
Candidates are required to pass each cooking segment with a score of
70 or higher with a cumulative score of 75 to pass the exam. If a
candidate does not pass one segment but has a cumulative score of 75 or
higher on the last day, he/she can retake the one segment they did not
pass on a designated day, usually the day following the exam's
conclusion. However, if a candidate does not receive 70 or higher on two
segments, then they do not continue the exam.
Unfortunately, that was the case for three of the candidates. Chefs
Daniot, Neace and Thompson will not be continuing with the exam. This
was a tough and disappointing outcome for these chefs and all involved
with the exam. These chefs put forth a valiant effort and we sincerely
thank them.
The remaining candidates, Baxter, Hall, Kampff and Loving, met with
chefs Walker and Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC, for the classical cooking
briefing taking place tomorrow and were assigned apprentices. They also
received their market basket for the freestyle cooking segment on Aug.
8. The candidates menu, food and china requisition are due by 6 a.m.
The candidates began their 12-hour garde manger/buffet catering
preparation at 6 a.m. It was a full day of action for the chefs and
their apprentices. The atmosphere in the kitchen was less intense than
the previous day, because service and tasting were not being evaluated.
Rudy Speckamp, CMC, and Olivier Andreini, CMC, joined lead kitchen
evaluator Kevin J. Walker, CMC, AAC, in managing the kitchen portion of
the evaluation for the day. It was determined that the temperature in
the kitchen could affect the aspic-chemise, so the chefs were allowed to
prepare this element in a separate room that was cooler with a more
appropriate temperature for the process.
The candidates had drawn one of two baskets and embarked on
demonstrating the required competencies. Today, the chefs built the
foundation for their 12-serving menu; four plated and eight served
buffet-style on a platter. The candidates were permitted to bring their
own platters for presentation. While it's all about the food, the
variety of platters would add to the character and uniqueness of the
presentations being built tomorrow. The required presentation elements
were emulsified forcemeat, cured protein, cold salad, two-standing
garnishes, platter poured with chemise and aspic, cold mousse and
appropriate sauce.
What type of menu would you develop and prepare based on the required
presentation criteria with the baskets below? As you decide what you
would do, consider that the score the candidates will earn after 15
hours of intense work over two days is based 20% on serving method and
presentation, 15% on cooking fundamentals, 10% on ingredient
compatibility, 15% on competencies and a critical 40% on taste. Buffet
platters are beautiful to look at, but it's all about the
Basket 1
Basket 2
Shawn Loving, CEC®, AAC®, drew the first number and kicked
off the nutritional cooking segment at 8 a.m. after a 30-minute set-up
window. The remaining six candidates, John Thompson, CEC; Jason Hall,
CEC; Alan Neace, CEC, AAC; David Daniot, CEC; Paul Kampff, CEC; and Ryan
Baxter, CEC, followed in 30-minute intervals. The chefs had 4½
hours and a 30-minute service window to prepare the healthy cooking menu
they had developed prior to arrival. The buzz and intensity in the
kitchen slowly grew as each chef, their student apprentice and numerous
kitchen assistants started each cooking segment.
Below are two examples of the nutritional menus developed and
prepared for 10 people based on two of the market baskets provided. Four
are plated and six are Russian Style:
J. Kevin Walker, CMC, AAC, lead floor evaluator, was joined by Ron
DeSantis, CMC, AAC, MBA, and Rudy Speckamp, CMC. Brian Sode, CMC, AAC,
participated as an apprentice floor evaluator. Lawrence McFadden, CMC,
lead tasting evaluator, also had a great team in Thomas Griffiths, CMC;
Helmet Holzer, CMC, WGMC; and Derin Moore, CMC. While admittedly, this
was not a stellar day for the candidates as a group; the evaluators
highlighted some quality techniques and menu items, as well as pointed
out areas where performance could be improved. The chefs were encouraged
to move forward with greater focus and attention to detail. With day one
and the stresses that accompany that behind them, the candidates were
anxious to move ahead to the next cooking challenge.
After both the group and individual critiques by the evaluators and
CMC test administrator, Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA®, AAC, and Chef
Walker reviewed expectations and requirements for the 12-hour garde
manger preparation day on Sunday, which will take place from 6 a.m. to 6
Although the candidates departed the CIA by 6:30 p.m., the night
ahead would be filled with preparing their classical cuisine menu and
food requisition by tomorrow at 6 a.m. Tonight the candidates will also
reflect on the experience and feedback from today in order to strengthen
their scores in the coming days.
While today was the first official on-site day of the exam for the
seven Certified Master Chef® (CMC®) candidates, the prelude to
the exam began on Tues., July 31. Candidates were provided their
nutritional market baskets and had 24 hours to submit a four-course
menu, provide a nutritional analysis verified by a registered dietician
and submit their food requisition. Brad Barnes, CMC, CCA, AAC, chair of
the ACF Certification Commission CMC®/CMPC® Subcommittee,
offered the candidates some guidance and words of wisdom, as they
embarked on this ambitious challenge of a lifetime.
"The CMC Exam is a test of you against yourself, and a simple
demonstration of your love for cooking. It is important to realize that
this exam is all encompassing; it will reflect upon your personality,
your standards, your organizational skills, and most of all, your
ability to operate as a Master Certified Chef. Attention to detail, your
deft at both giving and following direction, dissecting problems and
crafting answers, and then transforming those answers into reality will
all be challenged. Consider every aspect of the next eight days as an
exam question. Consider the situation, calculate the answer and then
execute into an achievable plan, which demonstrates your mastery of this
craft and your breadth as a professional culinarian," said Barnes.
"I truly believe in each of you as culinarians and professionals.
If you can do what you love, cook what you know and always maintain the
attitude which has led you to be a Certified Master Chef candidate, I
believe you will succeed. Much success to everyone."
Following an afternoon orientation conducted by Chef Barnes, J. Kevin
Walker, CMC, AAC, and Lawrence McFadden, CMC, the candidates toured The
Culinary Institute of America's (CIA) storerooms to familiarize
themselves with the types and range of products available. Chef Walker
facilitated a discussion about the expectations and guidelines for the
healthy-cooking segment, and then the chefs took a nutrition quiz. There
was a brief time for the chefs to stage some equipment, tour the kitchen
and to reach out to the student apprentices that will be working with
them during the healthy cooking segment. As the last official item for
the night, the candidates were treated to a wonderful meal at Enoteca,
one of the restaurants at the CIA. Unofficially, the night was not over
for the candidates. They had until 6 a.m. Saturday to submit their garde
manger menu and food requisition that they were just assigned.
Choose from the three nutrition market baskets assigned to the
candidates and design a four-course menu that includes a hot appetizer,
salad, main course and dessert incorporating all the items in the
basket. When planning the menu, remember the meal cannot exceed 1,000
calories or 1,500 mg. of sodium. The balance should be 15–20%
protein, 45–60% carbohydrates and 25–30% fat. And if that
isn't challenging enough, your menu must serve 10 people and be
completed in 4½ hours with a 30-minute service window. Welcome to
the Certified Master Chef exam!
Basket 3
The CMC exam officially begins Aug. 4, but the first assignment has
already been distributed. The candidates are making their way to The
Culinary Institute of America, Hyde Park, N.Y., for the grueling
eight-day exam. ACF wishes all the CMC candidates safe travels and much success!


text:
James Holland – writer, broadcaster and Second World War historian.
James Holland is a historian, writer, and broadcaster. The author of the best-selling Fortress Malta, Battle of Britain, and Dam Busters, he has also written nine works of historical fiction, five of which feature the heroic Jack Tanner, a soldier of the Second World War. He is currently writing a three-volume new history of the Second World War in the West and a book about the Defence of the Admin Box in Burma. The first volume, The War in the West: Germany Ascendant, 1939-1941, is out now.
He regularly appears on television and radio, and has written and presented the BAFTA-shortlisted documentaries, Battle of Britain and Dam Busters for the BBC, as well as the Battle for Malta, Cold War, Hot Jets, and Normandy 44.
Co-founder and Programme Director of the hugely successful Chalke Valley History Festival, he has his own collection at the Imperial War Museum, and is Fellow of the Royal Historical Society.
He is also an avid cricketer, and plays for both Chalke Valley CC and the Authors CC.


text:
EDINBURG – Seven routes were swept up by a convoy of street sweepers across Hidalgo County for the third annual Operation Clean Sweep.
The project which aims to clear debris from bike lanes was a joint effort by the Texas Department of Transportation (TxDOT), Hidalgo Precinct No. 2, McAllen, Edinburg, Alton, Pharr, San Juan, Alamo, Mission and La Villa.
The Run Ride and Share campaign initiated Operation Clean Sweep three years ago to increase awareness about road safety. Street sweepers clean road shoulders and bike lanes to encourage cycling in the community.
For groups like the 5AM Wake-Up Ride clean ups like this are essential to their rides. Edinburg Chamber Director of Marketing Ronnie Larralde is a member of the group and for him and his fellow cyclists the street clean ups create safer and more enjoyable rides but he notes everyone benefits from clean streets.
"A lot of our community depends on our roads to get to work and school," he said. "We don't realize that shoulder impacts our lives daily through quality of life, education and commerce."


text:
Missy is a white and black girl, three years old.
She is a playful girl who loves her toys. She also loves to run around for the fun of it, although she quietens down when she finds the sofa!
Missy is housetrained, which means that she has spent some time in Sharon's house with her own dogs.


text:
That Valentine's Day sperm is some good stuff 😀
Sperm Twins!
Return of the Valentine's Day Sperm
Again, with the "I mean to write more often." Hats off to the many moms I know who work, parent, and still manage to share witty and articulate blog posts on a semi-regular basis. Clearly, I'm not one of them. I suppose I could be if I devoted more time to writing and less to binge-watching Orange is the New Black (I know, I'm what– two years behind the world on that one?) but, such is life.
We did sneak in our one 2014 try, in early December. We did try at home. While we didn't conceive, it was a positive experience– trying at home was less intimidating and overwhelming than expected, and the concept of conceiving a child in our bedroom rather than a clinic was kind of awesome. So, we're going to try at home for at least a few more cycles. Unless, of course, we're fortunate enough to get lucky on our second try, like we did with Mulberry. And that try will be…TONIGHT.
While the giant tank (although, I have to admit, it's smaller than I'd been led to believe by friends…though still ridiculous compared to the teensy tiny sperm vial) will be delivered to our house this evening, we already got the paperwork from the bank with the info on the "sample"…count, motility, all that good stuff. And the date of the donation. Valentine's Day, 2009. Throwback. https://2012aconceptionodyssey.wordpress.com/2012/04/07/holiday-baby/
It is both bizarre and amazing to realize that exact same sperm donation that helped up create Mulberry could also help create his brother or sister, almost three years later. Bizarre, amazing, and comforting in the same way that long-ago donation date comforted me years ago. This man's donation is crucial. Of course. And I will always be grateful. But in the process of conception, in the moment of conception, he is irrelevant. That is reserved for me and Trouble.
Here's hoping that the Valentine's Day Sperm is lucky for us once again.
Three Years Later
Three years ago tomorrow, a woman sat at a restaurant/bar in Chicago, drank for six hours, and then got in her car and changed my life.
While the pain, helplessness, and frustration of the following months will never be forgotten, on this anniversary I just feel lucky. Last month, a friend was riding her bike and got hit by a falling tree when a storm began suddenly. She died the next day. So sudden. So senseless. So unfair. Her husband lost his wife, her sons lost their mother, and too many people to count lost a kind and caring friend.
I'm alive. I can walk. I can hug and kiss and argue with Trouble. I can snuggle and tickle and get exasperated with Mulberry. I can think about the future. And last month, I even rode a bike again.
I am grateful.
While yes, often exasperating as toddlers tend to be, I am especially grateful for Mulberry, and he astounds me every day. Here are some things I don't want to forget:
-His vocabulary is incredible. He has well over 100 words, so many I don't think I could count if I tried. Being able to truly communicate with him is amazing.
-He sings along to familiar songs, including the lullabies I sing before he goes to sleep. It's the most wonderful sound I've ever heard.
-Lately he sleeps best with his hooded monkey blanket on his head. Usually he also wants his baby doll in his crib with him as well, and he wants to make sure she's wrapped up in a blanket, too. Seriously, I think my heart might explode from the sweetness. We think he'll be an incredible big brother.*
-His memory is amazing. He remembers events from months ago– months after July 4, a picture of fireworks prompted "Big boom! Popcorn! Gramma B! [Cousin's Name]!" Yes, we did watch fireworks while eating popcorn with his grandma and his cousins. He makes connections between things that constantly impress me. The other day, Trouble mentioned someone from work with the same name as my (almost) sister-in-law. Mulberry jumped in– "[SIL Name]! Unka [Bro's Name]! See soon!" Yes, we are going to visit them (for their wedding!) next week. Yesterday, he started singing a song, then stopped and said "Lullaby book. Gramma B. Monkey– peek-a-boo monkey!" Yes, his grandmother visited last month and gave him a book of lullabies including the song he'd been singing, as well as a monkey toy that plays peek-a-boo.
-He prefers wearing pajamas to other clothes, and being naked to wearing pajamas. In this, he is just like Trouble! He especially hates jeans and refuses them in favor of "nice soft pants."
-Current obsessions: Lightning McQueen and Mater from "Cars," Thomas and Friends (and all trains in general), Elmo, and Dora the Explorer.
-His hair is long and floppy and gets in his eyes. I mention that because we're going to get it trimmed for the first time this weekend, before the wedding, at which he'll be the ring-bearer. Considering his dislike of clothing in general, getting him into his tuxedo (yup), which includes a jacket, vest, and bow-tie, should be interesting.
-He's not perfect. He throws tantrums, does things he knows he's not supposed to do while looking at us with a challenging gleam in his darkening eyes, and poops in the bathtub. But he is the joy of my life and I am just so grateful.
*No, there is no second baby on the way yet. I just realized I haven't written since I started my new job– my sometimes boring, sometimes interesting, sometimes tedious, but beautifully regular-schedule new job that gives me evenings and weekends with my family. Yes. Grateful. And within, I don't know, maybe a week of starting the new job, many of the fears about a second baby just melted away. I might actually be more ready than Trouble now, at this particular moment. Things keep side-tracking us since, as anyone reading this well knows, "trying" isn't really simple. But stay tuned– I am determined to get at least one 2014 try in!
2014…A Conception Odyssey?
Lots of changes in the past few months, and as always, I wish I'd written more. Such is life, however.
*We moved. To the suburbs. And bought a minivan. Momification complete! The house is wonderful, but it's definitely been an adjustment. I wasn't particularly social when we lived in the city, so I was struck by the feelings of isolation post-move. I haven't been working this summer, so I was home with Mulberry, and there were several moments, usually while grocery shopping at 9am and looking at all the other moms with toddlers in their shopping carts; or standing at the playground with a whining toddler looking at all the other moms who didn't forget to bring snacks or toys for the sandbox, that I wondered "Is this really my life? No really, it's a nice life, with this house and minivan and toddler, but it's not mine…right?" It is in fact my life though, and I'm adjusting to it. It helped when we put Mulberry in daycare a few days a week so I could get other things done. Namely…
*Job search. I've been mentioning it since Mulberry was a wee thing, but this job-that-is-mainly-nights-and-weekends is simply not going to cut it any longer. I finally realized that part of my issue is that, in the days of longing for motherhood, I fully anticipated that after we had a baby I would want to be a stay-at-home mom, so I would simply give up my job and do so. And that…is not the case. I love Mulberry, I adore him, but I.Can.Not.Do.24-7. Nope nope nope. And I can't continue in my present career. I like it and am good at it, but it is not going to give us the family time, or Trouble and I the couple time, that I would like (read: any). So I've been trying to figure out how to re-frame my skill-set into something that might land me a Real Job, which is…challenging. After a long summer of no movement, though, there are currently a few possibilities floating out there. All good vibes on that front will be happily accepted.
*Drugs. Back on anxiety meds. Not sure why I thought that buying a house, selling a condo, moving, looking for a new job, and managing a toddler was a good time to try going without them. Not so much.
*As you might have guessed by the title of this post, we are considering baby #2. To be more accurate, in a complete and total role reversal from our pre-Mulberry days, Trouble is chomping at the bit to get started on baby #2, and I am scared as hell. In her rational way, she pointed out that we have switched roles in other things as well (pre-Mulberry, she was trying to figure out what to do career-wise, and then in school with no real idea what life would be like post-graduation and post-baby. Now she's settled in a career and job she really likes, and I'm trying to figure out What To Do With My Life. Of course I'm scared of throwing yet another major life change in there and adding a second child). It's funny…when I think of our life five, ten years down the road, there is always at least one more child. I don't honestly want Mulberry to be an only. But I am having trouble wrapping my head around the practicalities of getting from this time, when I get overwhelmed with our single child and don't always think I'm being a particularly great mom, to the picture of the future in my head. That in-between involves another newborn, this time combined with a toddler/preschooler…and (hopefully?) me with a job that doesn't allow me to just stop working for months at a time after the baby is born. The logistics of it all are mentally exhausting. That said, we don't want them to be too far apart in age and (as I constantly reminded Trouble before we TTC Mulberry), there's no telling how long it'll take. So…probably jumping back into that craziness in the next few months. And considering trying at home this time for a few cycles. EEEK.
Things I Don't Want to Forget
You're 16 months old today…wow. A few weeks ago I finally updated your baby book for the first time since you were about 5 months old. I always thought I'd be the kind of mom who documented diligently, but that was before I knew the reality of life with a child!
In the past few months, you've become such a person. You are the son of two quite stubborn mothers, and you already have that streak in you. You know what you want and when you want it. You also seem to learn more every day. You repeat new words, and remember them– Mommy and Mama need to work on their cursing or we're going to be in trouble!
We've been very busy these past few months…we are getting ready to move to a new house where you'll have much more room to play, but it's been hectic and I worry that the days move too fast. I worry that I'll forget these things about amazing little/not-so-little you. Here are some things about you that I want to make sure I remember later:
-You usually wake up happy and talk to yourself in your crib. "Uh-oh" is one of your favorite things to say, even when there's no reason for it.
-You love animal noises. We can ask you what a horse, cow, sheep, dog, elephant, lion, monkey, or snake says, and you will grin and make the corresponding noise. Of course, we're certain you're something of a genius.
-You have amazing fine motor skills and love to put coins in a piggy-bank…and at this point, you hardly ever even try to eat them instead.
-You love keys and like to try to fit them into doors and other locks.
-You love our cats, but you also love dogs, and will almost climb out of your stroller trying to get to the ones we see on the street so you can pet them. You're not even two, and I can already imagine myself breaking my "I'll never own a dog" promise because you love them so much.
-You point to the El running on the tracks above us with glee and cry "choo-choo!" You bounce with joy watching it. You also point to the sky and point out "eh-panes!" (although sometimes you're not sure if the flying thing is a bird or a plane).
-Sometimes in the middle of playing in the house, you'll very deliberately go over and sit in your stroller, telling us clearly that you want to go out. Once outside, though, you often call "Walk!" and squirm to get out of the stroller to walk on your own.]
-You love music and dancing.
-You hate when Mommy or Mama (or Grandma) leave you with a babysitter. No matter how many times the sitters assure me you're fine after I leave, it breaks my heart. You know that the door buzzer usually means a sitter is coming, and you will try to climb me like a tree. It's terrible and wonderful at the same time.
-When I come home or to pick you up at day-care you break in to a huge smile and hurry to me with your arms out to get picked up. Once at daycare, seated at the table doing an art project, you saw me, signed "all done," and climbed over the table in your haste to get to me.
-You seem like such a big boy so much of the time, but when I sing and rock you to sleep, you still feel small in my arms. I love the weight of you and the way you settle against me, the way your eyes flutter closed. No matter how busy or exasperated or exhausted I am, I am so incredibly grateful that you are in my life, that I get to be your Mama.
Brain vs. Body
The plan was always that Trouble would carry and birth our first child, and if, after that, I felt that I was "missing something" by not having that experience, or found that I just wanted to try it for whatever reason, I would consider being the bio-mom of the next one. Because Trouble was going to the "the body," I made myself very much part of the process by being "the brain." I did all the communication with the sperm bank and the clinic. I did the majority of the donor selection. I tracked Trouble's temps. Etc. Because I was so involved, I can say with certainty that Mulberry would not exist without me, despite the fact that I didn't contribute in any way to his genetic make-up. For Trouble and I, it struck a very nice balance. Now, I toy occasionally with the idea of being the gestational mom for Baby #2, but the fact is, personality wise, I know I would still end up being "the brain" in a lot of respects (that's not a slam on Trouble. It's my inability to not be a control freak). And I don't know that I want to the "the brain" and "the body" at the same time– I think it would just end up making me irritated and resentful. If I really WANTED to carry and birth a baby, of course, I wouldn't let that stop me. Trouble and I would have to do a lot of talking and I would have to work to let her take over the "brain" aspects. But the fact is…I don't have any desire to do it. Watching Trouble go through pregnancy, childbirth, and recovery– all of which were "easy," comparatively speaking– didn't give me any urge to do it myself. I have no doubt that Mulberry is bonded to me and now that he's no longer breast-feeding, he's as likely to reach for me as he is for Trouble. I feel completely his mother. My family, Trouble's family, and our friends recognize me as his mother. I don't think it would be possible for me to feel MORE "a mother" than I do right now.
So why do I ever even think about it?
I'm afraid that I'll regret it later. That even though right now I feel no need or desire to grow a child within my body, to have the biological connection, that someday, when it's too late, I'll wish I had tried. And I don't know if that tiny seed of "what if" is enough to really, seriously, consider it.
If I'm being honest, there's also part of me that wonders what's "wrong with me" that I don't want that experience. Of the lesbian couples that I know (mostly online, some in real life) with children, it seems like it's very common to take turns and each birth a child. Of those who don't, they seem to fall into two groups– 1) the non-bio mom wanted to carry, and often tried, but couldn't get pregnant or carry a child to term successfully or 2) the couple has a very traditional butch/femme relationship and therefore the femme member did the child-bearing. I don't fit into either of those groups. I mean, I would likely have a harder time getting pregnant than Trouble, based on things like cycle regularity, but I have no reason to think it's impossible. And we don't have a butch/femme dynamic at all, but if we HAD to take those labels, I'd probably be the femme one.
The longer I sit and think about it, the more I can think of other couples that (to my knowledge, as I of course don't know the details of everyone's fertility or lack there of) are similar…one member is equally "femme-y" (or not) and possibly equally fertile, but still made the decision, for whatever reason, not to carry. I wonder if they all wondered if something was "wrong" with them too. I wonder if they all wonder if they might regret it some day.
Posted in Uncategorized
For Mulberry
I just want to put into words how very much I love you, little boy. You're sick now, getting over your first real cold and cough. Undoubtedly related to starting daycare last week, which makes Mommy and I feel horribly guilty. I stayed home with you on Monday, my day off. Mommy took a sick day to stay with you on Tuesday. On Wednesday I brought you back to daycare, still sniffly. You started to cry as soon we got into your classroom. You crawled around after me as I put your bottles in the fridge and a change of clothes in your drawer, whimpering and pointing at me. It broke my heart to leave you there. I cried on my way to work. I cried 10 hours later, still at work, when a slow co-worker meant I missed a bus and might not get a chance to kiss you goodnight. I walked halfway home and then finally gave in and took a cab the rest of the way, hoping I might be able to hold you just for a moment. You were nursing when I got home, falling asleep in Mommy's arms. I got to carry you, milk-drunk and eyelids drooping, into your room and cuddle you for a few minutes before I put you in your crib. It was the best part of my day. I know I am tired and impatient a lot of the time right now, trying to figure out how to get through the next few months of this job, that has often felt silly but seems ridiculous now. Trying to figure out what to do instead of continuing this job that keeps me away from you and Mommy far too many nights. Life can be hard, but you are amazing. You bring your mothers such incredible joy. I am so lucky to be your mama.
It Shouldn't Be Luck
I'm working right now, on a project that basically consists of an hour or so of total craziness every morning followed by 3-6 hours of sitting at my computer listening to other people discuss fictional characters I couldn't care less about, and reminding those other people to take breaks from their discussions every hour and a half. This means I've had a lot of time to mess around on the internet, gnashing my teeth over the fact that I'm paying other people a dollar more an hour to watch Mulberry than I'm making to be away from him. But that's a vent for another time. Or not, because I'm not going to do these kinds of projects anymore.
Anyway, in my internet travels I came across this beatiful, horrible blog http://piecesofgray.wordpress.com/2006/12/13/ready-or-not/. I started reading it and became completely sucked in. It's the story of someone else living through my worst nightmare…having her (non-bio) child taken away from her and not being able to do a thing about it. I found it because someone else posted it in the NGP group I'm in…because another member of the group is (or if not quite yet, will shortly be) going through a similar ordeal. Years later, a different state, different circumstances, but the same damn thing. People using unfair laws against someone they used to love, at the expense of children they claim to love. I will never, ever understand.
When I read these stories, I think of how lucky I am…how lucky to have Trouble, how lucky to live in a state where I quickly and easily became Mulberry's legal parent before he was two months old. But see, it shouldn't be luck. Something as essential as not depriving a child of one of their parents shouldn't come down to what state that child was born in, whether their bio-mother has PPD or finds "religion" or decides she just doesn't want to share. Luck should have nothing to do with it. And I know things are getting better, that it is now law more than luck in many places, but I just fear it will never be enough. That there will always be people who don't know what they need to do to protect themselves and their children, or know but can't afford it, or can afford it but think they just don't need it. I think people on some of the parenting boards I post on must be tired of me preaching about why second-parent adoptions in states that allow them are still essential, even with the recent progress, DOMA falling, etc. I know it's a lot of money and it's all kinds of unfair, but the possible alternative is just…unthinkable.
Anyway…there's no real reason I'm writing this, I guess, other than needing to get it out somewhere. I say it to Trouble, but I think when I talk about stories like this she interprets it as fear that she might do something like that if she had the chance, and her usual response is "I'm not a cunt." I know she's not, I trust her completely, but…these stories tug at my heart and soul in an incredibly profound way. Maybe this is just one of the "things" about being a NGP that I just can't expect her to understand. The tiny kernal of fear that is always there.
When I logged in to write the above post, I had forgotten that my last post was a long vent. I'm happy to say that things are far better than they were a few months ago!
-Knee surgery complete. Not without being rescheduled several times, and an extra week with stitches in, and now possible insurance fraud on behalf of the greedy surgeon's office, mind you. But complete. And I don't feel the weird little "pop" in my knee every time I go up stairs. We'll call that a success.
-Trouble not only passed her boards, but got her first choice job, at the hospital where one of her clinical internships was. She likes it and has a "grown-up" paycheck, including little things like health insurance and a pension. I'm not the sole wage-earner for the first time in years, and it feels like a gigantic exhale.
-Mulberry is thriving. As my friend Bionic of http://bionicmamas.com/ mentioned, 9 months is wildly better than 7 months. The biggest difference is the simplest, I think– we're sleeping more. I've deliberately not written much here about "parenting style" because when it comes down to it, our "style" is "keep doing what works for our family" and not much more, and I don't really have the desire to debate our choices with other people. But just in case anyone who reads this is taking Dr. Sears' words as law…our lives improved dramatically once we let go of the idea that our child crying in his crib for a few minutes would actually lead him to a lifetime of using drugs or sex to fill that void left by his parents allowing him to cry. And that's all I'll say about that.
-NO MORE BUGS!!!! On some level, it really is the little things.
A Whiny Vent, and an Admission
Disclaimer…I'm aware that I'm complaining about "first world problems." I'm aware that overall I am incredibly lucky, to live where I live, to have what I have, to be married to Trouble and mama to Mulberry. I get that others have it much worse, worse than I could ever imagine. The fact is, the past few months have still sucked. Here's why.
*I need more knee surgery. Two of the screws in my knee are loose and have to come out. This means I've had to deal with my rude, disorganized, greedy surgeon's office again. It took a month to get the surgery scheduled and they still won't tell me the cost. While it's an outpatient surgery, it is still surgery and involves being put under and all the risks that come with that. I may need a crutch for balance again just after. I'm not sure how exactly I'll manage that with taking care of Mulberry. And of course being back in that office, dealing with this again, has brought a lot of the PTSD from the accident back to the surface. And my therapist moved.
*We had bedbugs. And carpet beetle larvae (possibly) or some other disgusting worm-like bug as well, but nothing as awful as bedbugs. And even though I understand intellectually that having those horrid things isn't related to poor housekeeping, I'm embarrassed about it. It turns out we only had a few and not a big infestation, which is good of course, but getting rid of them still involved putting nearly all our belongings in garbage bags and living like that for two weeks while we put everything through the dryer. Trouble and I slept on our couch for over two weeks. On the days of both treatments the exterminators were hours late. Super awesome.
*I applied for a job with normal hours as opposed to the crazy, erratic, lots of nights-and-weekends job I have now. It's at the same place that I've worked at for 12 years. Everyone I told I was applying was very enthusiastic and seemed to think I would be great at it. I didn't get it. The person who did was still in middle school when I started working here. Not getting a job because someone else has determined that you're over-qualified should be a compliment in some way, but it still royally sucks when you're trying to figure out how to be a good mama on a crazy schedule.
*Although I didn't get that job, I am still working, and at the same place. Right now I'm making very little money doing it, and I'm not even sure I want to be doing it anymore. I want to quit every day.
*I got sick. Really sick, fever and a throat that felt like there was broken glass in it when I spoke or swallowed or took a deep breath. In the middle of a heat wave, no less.
*Trouble has been studying for her board exams. She's taking them today. She's a good test taker and all her practice tests have been in the passing range, but with the shitty luck we're having lately, we're both pretty scared she's going to fail.
*All of this would have been pretty crappy before we had Mulberry. Dealing with it all along with him makes me feel like I'm constantly fighting an undertow in the ocean and any second I'm going to get pulled completely under…which in turn makes me feel guilty and like a terrible mama. Guilt, of course, is always super helpful to every situation. Mulberry is amazing. He's just turning 7 months, but he already pulls himself to standing and wants to walk all over the place holding on to one of us. It's adorable and wonderful…and exhausting, and he's teething and not sleeping great, so we're not sleeping great. I knew that was part of parenthood, of course. I knew less sleep, less sex, less "free time" were the trade-offs to having a baby. I thought I was prepared for it. But at 1am when he's screaming and infant Tylenol is dripping stickily down my back and I have to get up and be helpful and accommodating and, you know, AWAKE at work all day, it's hard to remember why I wanted this so badly. And then I immediately feel awful for even having that thought.
I guess, in some way, all that is why I'm writing now. Because I DO have the thought, and you know what? That doesn't make me a bad person, or a bad mama. Parenting is hard. It is really, really hard. And people like me, who want a child so desperately for so long, think we know that and are prepared for it. I don't think any of us can ever be prepared for it (and I bet someone, somewhere is reading this and thinking "I'm totally prepared!" I bet that because I was that person reading blogs two years ago. I was sure that I was SO ready that it just couldn't be THAT hard. I was wrong). I wish it was more acceptable to admit that in places other than anonymous(ish) blogs. To admit that it's hard. To admit that we don't know what we're doing sometimes. To admit that sometimes we wonder why we wanted this so badly. I wish we could have those discussions without guilt or judgment or resentment. Right now, the best I can do is to say it here.
Posted in Uncategorized
Against Ourselves
I've never really liked the phrase "the gay community." Not that I'm against the concept of community by any means, but I feel like whenever we use those kinds of expressions– "the African-Amerincan community," "the Latina community," "the gay community"– it perpetruates the idea that all people who belong to that particular group share ideals in some way. And, as any thinking person knows, that's simply not true. Whenever someone asks me how "the gay community" feels about a given issue, I usually make some remark about how I'm not sure, but I'll certainly ask at the next monthly meeting. It's amazing how often that comment is met with a blank stare. People really seem to think that I can answer that question.
That said…when I hear of someone in "the gay community" behaving badly, particularly to another "community member," it hits me harder than similar situations outside "the community" (and here I'm going to stop with the tiresome quotation marks. You get my drift). This spans a wide variety of issues, from the silly to the serious. On the silly side, I was much more saddened by Arizona cheating on Callie than I've been by any of the near-constant heterosexual bed-hopping on Grey's Anatomy. On the serious side…we all know that divorce, regardless of the sexual orientation of the couple involved, can cause people to act in absolutely disgusting ways to people they once loved. This includes putting their children in the middle of horrible tug-of-wars. It happens all the time, but I get much more upset about it when I hear about lesbian couples acting like that…particularly because the cases I hear about most often are cases of "bio-moms behaving badly"…separating from their partners and suddenly deciding that the women they've shared their lives and children with aren't "real moms" after all, and they are entitled to sole custody of their biological children. Obviously, those cases hit me on an emotional, gut-wrenching level. It's one of the many reasons there was never any question of whether I would legally adopt Mulberry. And it's not that I don't trust Trouble– I do, I trust her with my life, with our son's life– but I imagine all the non-bio moms who have suddenly had their children kept from them once trusted their exes, as well.
Other than the obvious, what gets me about these kinds of cases is the fact that homophobic laws are being used against the gay community– by other members of the gay community. And I find that so hard to even comprehend. The specific instance that started me thinking about this most recently is a member of my GLBT non-gestational parents group– I've mentioned her situation before. Although she and her partner conceived of their child together, and are even fortunate enough to live in a state that permits second-parent adoptions, once their son was born her partner, the bio-mom, decided not to allow the adoption to take place. She has flat-out said that she doesn't consider her partner an equal parent because "she carried the baby, she has the stretch-marks and scar and went though the surgery." She won't allow the adoption because she's afraid that, if they were to separate down the line, she might have to give her partner…her son's other mother…more time with their child than she would like. So in other words, because she is selfish, she doesn't care about protecting her partner or their child with the multitde of benefits of a legal relationship.
What kills me about this– what has pushed me to the point where I can barely stand to read this poor woman's posts– is that if her partner were a man, this would be irrelevant. She would still have carried the child, still have the strech-marks and scar, still have gone through surgery– but the child's other parent– his father– would unquestionably be his legal parent. If they were to separate/divorce, custody and visitation would be figured out then. The bio mom wouldn't be able to just not consent to acknowledging her child's father "just in case." I'm willing to bet that such a thing wouldn't even cross her mind (and yes, I'm aware that in heterosexual custody cases, decisions still often skew unfairly towards the mother, but that can be someone else's soapbox). The point is– this woman is taking the fact that our relationships, to each other and to our children, are treated unfairly…and using it to her advantage. There are no words for how much this disgust and upsets me.
Some "community."


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Why They Can't Kill World of Warcraft
After the controversy in which I said WoW (World of Warcraft) sucks as a PC game, I was inundated by people who quite rightly said that it was a very good MMORPG. Compared to other MMOPRGs it may very well be the best, but that doesn't mean that MMORPG's in general haven't completely lost their way and ended up shadows of what they might have been.
Every few years, a company will come along with a game that is supposed to be a 'WoW Killer', but it never does turn into a WoW killer because it is usually just a clone that encounters the same pitfalls that WoW does.
What pitfalls do I speak of? Well, let me go back to the beginning here.
MMORPGs are massively multiplayer online role playing games. Unfortunately, World of Warcraft, and every clone that's been made of it, have forgotten that, at their hearts, they're still supposed to be a role playing game, except instead of playing by yourself, you get to interact with other players.
Ideally, a MMORPG would be a brilliant experience in which you battled with and against other factions in a world that constantly surprised you and changed, a world populated by NPC's you could truly interact with and with a destiny that changed every time you made a decision, but WoW has moved so far away from being anything like a role playing game that it barely deserves the term MMORPG anymore.
A good RPG engages you in a world and a storyline you care about. World of Warcraft has a storyline, but nobody cares about it. In fact, most players, even high end raiders, probably can't tell you what the storyline even is. The reason for this is that World of Warcraft quit being an RPG in any sense early on and essentially became a battle system. That's all. If you like slowly increasing your battle ability, you will love World of Warcraft. If you like playing role playing games, you will be sadly disappointed.
The quests in WoW don't matter at all. They're only there to give you experience and to get you to the next part of the game. Most of them are entirely forgettable and very few of them will have any impact on the ultimate destiny of your character. In WoW and other games of its ilk, the NPCs are utterly pointless wooden characters who elicit no emotion from anyone at all.
The sole exception I found in the game was during the Mosswalker quest in which a band of peaceful little creatures has been slaughtered. You are too late to save many of them, and their little woeful cries as they die are so heartbreaking that it almost makes you cry. Having said that, it was one quest out of hundreds Blizzard made me do to get to 80 and it was the only one that had any soul in it whatsoever.
Because the WoW developers have found that people will merrily hack and slash away for hours, days, weeks and months for nothing more than an increasing number of minor upgrades, they largely abandoned the roots of what makes the genre great.
Many MMORPG's claim to be WoW killers, but until a gaming house creates a game with not only a decent battle system, but stories and characters people can really care about, and manages to create an experience that is truly defined by the player, and in which every quest really counts instead of simply bouncing the player from meaningless quest to meaningless quest in the race to level up, WoW will reign supreme.
dude i got your back world of warcraft sucks i got my account close my freind gave me some gold and now i being puish cause my freinds are nice
Games were about the journey, and now it is all about the destination. The AQ gates were probably teh biggest event that made sense, where the players pushed the opening of the gates forward. Maybe Blizzard should put some stops every 20 lvls, where the players needs to do some epic chain of quests to advance... yes to actually be able to get past 20 and gain new skills. Or they could simply have a new facility, make a new toon, pay Blizzard $40 and in 10 minutes it becomes lvl 80. Sorted.
WoW isn't just a game. It's a lifestyle.
4 years and counting. 780$ gone and no regrets.


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The World at Risk
(FORTUNE Magazine) - FEB. 3, 2006 A look at hot spots, economic fault lines, and events that might have an impact on global risk.
1 Colombia-- March legislative elections are likely to result in a fragmented congress, making it harder for President Uribe to build consensus for tax and pension reforms. [Increased Risk]
2 Chad--Deteriorating security conditions and a decision to renege on World Bank commitments could result in bad publicity for Exxon Mobil's pipeline. [Increased Risk]
3 Ethiopia/Kenya--If severe drought extends into the vital late-February rainy season, coffee production in East Africa will be at significant risk. [Increased Risk]
4 Palestinian Authority--Hamas's victory could result in a cutoff of aid from the U.S. and Europe, which may lead to stronger ties with Iran and Syria. [Increased Risk]
5 Kuwait--After the death of an emir, an abdication by a crown prince, and a peaceful transfer of power, two branches of the ruling family are still feuding. [Decreased Risk]
6 Japan--A renewed ban on U.S. beef shipments will raise tensions with Washington, as Tokyo demands tougher safeguards to placate health concerns. [Increased Risk]


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Posted on July 14 2015
Welcome fall colored leaves. So gorgeous in the trees and so crunchy on the ground. I love the way the light looks in the fall. How it dances through the trees and creates a golden glow throughout day. It's such a beautiful season. And best of all... it's finally sweater and blanket season!!
Knitterly is bursting with chunky and fun yarns; Woolfolk, Katia Wool Love, Plymouth Baby Alpace Grande (yellow cowl on Emma in the featured photo is made from this), Noro Silk Garden Solo, Loopy Mango, and SO much Madelinetosh... HOME, VINTAGE, PASHMINA, UNICORN TAILS and A.S.A.P.We are building our Knitterly (Shelli) created library of patterns too. They are all inspired by yarns that come in and for the most part, easy (advanced beginner) and quick (i.e. christmas gift ideas)!! The Moto Vest, the Necessary Cowl, the Outlander Pattern for Claire's Capelet, and the Claire Outlander Cowl. And.... Shelli has promised to come back from France with a new (at least one) idea for a pattern. Stay tuned for that update! And then there's weaving... I have weaver fever! The chunky yarns are inspiring me every time I walk into the shop. The Madelinetosh A.S.A.P. is crazy inspiring. I am like a moth to the "neon" flame. Neon Peach and Holi Festival are going to be my inspiration for the next couple weeks. If you are a weaver or addicted to MadTosh check out the super fun Madelinetosh Unicorn Tails. I have the best electric blue fringe shimmying off my loom. My kids were bummed when I told them they weren't actual tails. Come in or shop online and get a dose of inspiration on this gorgeous day! xx Ash