text:
Subj: Kids4 Jokes
..........(Includes 63 jokes, 15 1027,11,cf,wXT2b4a,6)
..........L5 Update
Girl with Paddle from
KIDS1 and 2 contains jokes
KIDS3 contains oddities, and short jokes
Subj: Tundra Comics (S966)
Created by Chad Carpenter
Source: www.facebook.com/tundracomics/photos/pb.226320097380341.-220
Bumbo II, The Return
From: sfo_pilot
..........in 2007 (S548d-On Site)
This homemade video of a baby's
adventure is hilarious.
You can watch it by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Before and After Children (S466b)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day-Mail.com in 2005
BEFORE Children: I was thankful
for the opportunity to
vacation in exotic foreign countries so I could experience
a different way of life in a new culture.
AFTER Children: I am thankful
to have time to make it all
the way down the driveway to get the mail.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful
for the Moosewood Vegetarian
AFTER Children: I am thankful
for the butterball turkey
BEFORE Children: I was thankful
for a warm, cozy home to
share with my loved ones.
AFTER Children: I am thankful
for the lock on the bathroom
BEFORE Children: I was thankful
for material objects like
custom furniture, a nice car and trendy clothes.
AFTER Children: I am thankful
when the baby spits up and
misses my good shoes.
BEFORE Children: I was thankful for my wonderful family.
AFTER Children: I am thankful for my wonderful family.
Walmart Baby (S631c)
From: gordonschuk
..........in 2009 (d-iFrame)
In this video a man is squeezed
into a baby stroller. The
stroller with a tape of a baby crying is placed in front
of Walmart. What happens when people come to the babies
rescue? Click 'HERE' to see this silly, dumb video.
Subj: Taking Baby Missy To The Store
From: tom on 2009 (S196, S669)
A man noticed a woman in the
grocery store with a 3-year-old
girl in her cart. As they passed the cookie section, the
little girl asked for cookies and her mother told her no.
The little girl immediately began to have a conniption, and
the mother said quietly, "Now Missy, we just have half of
the aisles left to go through - don't be upset. It won't be
In the candy aisle, the little
girl began to shout for
treats. When mom said she couldn't have any, she began to
kick her mother and scream. The mother said softly, "There,
there, Missy, don't cry - only two more aisles to go and
then we'll be checking out."
When they got to the checkout
stand, the little brat
immediately began to reach for the gum and freaked out when
her mom said she couldn't have any. The mother patiently
said, "Missy, we'll be through this checkout stand in five
minutes and then you can go home and have a bottle and a
nice snooze."
The man followed them out to
the parking lot and stopped
the woman to compliment her. "I couldn't help noticing how
patient you were with little Missy," he said.
The mother sighed and replied,
"Oh, no, my little girl's
name is Francine - I'm Missy."
Subj: A Baby On The Patch - Cartoon (S450b)
From: darrell94590 in 2005
Subj: Preparation For Parenthood (S241b)
From: TNKRTEACH in 1997
Preparation for parenthood is
not just a matter of reading
books and decorating the nursery. Here are 12 simple tests
for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the
real-life experience of being a mother or father.
1. Women: To
prepare for maternity, put on a dressing
gown and stick a beanbag down the front. Leave it there
for 9 months. After 9 months, remove 10% of the beans.
To prepare for paternity, go the local drug store,
tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the
pharmacist to help himself. Then go to the supermarket.
Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head
office. Go home. Pick up the paper and read it for the
last time.
2. Before you finally
go ahead and have children, find a
couple who are already parents and berate them about their
methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low
tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children
to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve
their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table
manners and overall behavior. Enjoy it - it'll be the last
time in your life that you will have all of the answers.
3. To discover how
the nights feel, walk around the
living room from 5pm to 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing
approximately 8-12 lbs. At 10pm, put down the bag, set
the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12
and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until
1 am. Put the alarm on for 3 am. As you can't back to
sleep, get up at 2 am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45
am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off. Sing
songs in the dark until 4am. Put the alarm on for 5am.
Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look
4. Can you stand
the mess children make? To find out,
smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
Hide a fish finger behind the stereo and leave it there all
summer. Stick your fingers in the flowerbeds then rub them
on the clean walls. Cover the stains with crayons. How
does that look?
5. Dressing small
children is not as easy as it seems:
first buy an octopus and a draw-string bag. Attempt to put
the octopus into the draw-string bag so that none of the
arms hang out. Time allowed for this - all morning.
6. Take an egg carton,
and using a pair of scissors and
a can of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a
toilet tube, and using only scotch tape and a piece of
foil, turn it into a Christmas tree. Last, take a milk
container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco
Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.
Congratulations, you have just qualified for a place on
the playgroup committee.
7. Forget the Miata
and buy a Mini Van. And don't think
you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining;
family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream
bar and put it in the glove compartment and leave it there.
Get a quarter and stick it in the cassette player. Take a
family-size packet of chocolate cookies and mash them down
the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the
car. There-Perfect!
8. Get ready to go
out. Wait outside the toilet for half
an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out.
Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path.
Walk back up it. Walk down it again. Walk slowly down
the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every
cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue
and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream
that you've had as much as you can stand, until the
neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back
in the house. You are now just about ready to try taking
a small child for a walk. (Husbands, you probably have
already experienced this).
9. Always repeat everything you say at least five times.
10. Go to your local supermarket.
Take with you the
nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child - a fully
grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than
one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's
groceries without letting the goats out of your sight.
Pay for everything the goats destroy or eat. Until you
can easily accomplish this do not even contemplate having
11. Hollow out a melon.
Make a small hole in the side.
Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
Now get a bowl of soggy Froot Loops and attempt to spoon
it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
Continue until half of the Froot Loops are gone. Tip the
rest into your lap, making sure that a lot of it falls on
the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month old baby.
12. Learn the names of
every character from Barney and
Friends, Sesame Street and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
When you find yourself singing "I love you, you love me"
at work, now!, you finally qualify as a parent!
Children's Bill Of Rights
From: flovilla in 2001
..........(S215, S588b)
You can read this cute poem with pictures by clicking 'HERE'.
Subj: Toddler Diet (S213)
From: KMACINTY in 2001
People are always on the lookout
for a new diet. The trouble
with most diets is that you don't get enough to eat (the
starvation diet), you don't get enough variation (the liquid
diet) or you go broke (the all-meat diet). Consequently,
people tend to cheat on their diets, or quit after 3 days.
Well, now there's the new Toddler Miracle Diet. Over the
years you may have noticed that most two year olds are trim.
Now the formula to their success is available to all in this
new diet. You may want to consult your doctor before embarking
on this diet, otherwise, you may be seeing him afterwards.
Good Luck!
Breakfast: One scrambled egg, one piece of toast with grape
jelly. Eat 2 bites of egg, using your fingers; dump the rest
on the floor. Take 1 bite of toast, then smear the jelly over
your face and clothes.
Lunch: Four crayons (any color), a handful of potato chips,
and a glass of milk (3 sips only, then spill the rest).
Dinner: A dry stick, two pennies and a nickel, 4 sips of flat
Sprite. Bedtime snack: Throw a piece of toast on the kitchen
Breakfast: Pick up stale toast from kitchen floor and eat it.
Drink half bottle of vanilla extract or one vial of vegetable
Lunch: Half tube of "Pulsating Pink" lipstick and a handful
of Purina Dog Chow (any flavor). One ice cube, if desired.
Afternoon snack: Lick an all-day sucker until sticky, take
outside, drop in dirt. Retrieve and continue slurping until
it is clean again. Then bring inside and drop on rug.
Dinner: A rock or an uncooked bean, which should be thrust
up your left nostril. Pour Grape Kool-Aid over mashed
potatoes; eat with spoon.
Breakfast: Two pancakes with plenty of syrup, eat one with
fingers, rub in hair. Glass of milk; drink half, stuff other
pancake in glass. After breakfast, pick up yesterday's
sucker from rug, lick off fuzz, put it on the cushion of best
Lunch: Three matches, peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Spit
several bites onto the floor. Pour glass of milk on table
and slurp up.
Dinner: Dish of ice cream, handful of potato chips, some red
punch. Try to laugh some punch through your nose, if possible.
Breakfast: A quarter tube of toothpaste (any flavor), bit of
soap, an olive. Pour a glass of milk over bowl of cornflakes,
add half a cup of sugar. Once cereal is soggy, drink milk
and feed cereal to dog.
Lunch: Eat bread crumbs off kitchen floor and dining room
carpet. Find that sucker and finish eating it.
Dinner: Drop pieces of spaghetti onto back of dog, insert
meatball into ear. Dump pudding into Kool-aid and suck up
with a straw.
Learning To Use Grown Up Words
From: ipkis in 1997 (S20, S570)
from Yahoo! Images
The first little one said he
went to see his Nana. The teacher
said, "No, No, you went to see your grandmother. Use the grown-
up word."
The next little one said she
went for a trip on a choo-choo.
The teacher again said, "No, No, you went on a trip on a train.
That's the grown-up word."
Then the teacher asked the third
one, Little Johnny, what he
did during the summer. He proudly stated that he read a book.
The teacher asked what book he had read.
Johnny puffed out his chest and
in a very adult way replied,
"Winnie the Shit."
Sesame Street: Ernie and his Rubber Duckie
From: Karen S Dexheimer (S721d-iFrame)
in 2010 (in Bathroom-Supp)
"Rubber Duckie" is a song sung
by the Muppet character Ernie
(voiced by Jim Henson) on Sesame Street. The song is named
after Ernie's toy, a rubber duck affectionately named Rubber Duckie.
The song became a surprise mainstream hit, reaching #16 on the
Billboard Hot 100 in September 1970 and #14 on the Australian
Singles Chart in December that same year. Click 'HERE' to see
this classic Sesame Street skit.
Subj: Lifesaver Study (S182, S713b)
From: mbucher in 2000
A researcher was doing a study
of children's senses in a
first-grade class using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave each
child a Lifesaver and asked them, "What is the flavor, and
what color is it?"
The children began to say, "cherry/red,
then lemon/yellow,
lime/green, orange/orange, etc." Finally, he gave them all
honey-flavor Lifesavers. The children sucked on them for
a while, but they couldn't decipher the taste.
"Well," he said, "I'll give you
a clue. It's what your mother
would call your father."
One little girl looked up in
horror, spit hers out, and yelled:
"Everybody, spit it out, they're assholes!"
Subj: Noah's Ark (S154)
From: collins2 in 2000
All I really need to know about
Life, I learned from Noah's
1. Don't miss the boat.
2. Don't forget we're all in the same boat.
3. Plan ahead-it wasn't raining when Noah built the ark.
4. Stay fit- when you're
600 years old someone might ask you
to do something really big.
5. Don't listen to critics,
just get on with what has to be
6. For safety's sake travel in pairs.
7. Two heads are better than one.
8. Build your future on high ground.
9. Speed isn't always
an advantage- after all, the snails
were on the same ark with the cheetahs.
10. When you're stressed, float awhile.
11. Remember the ark was
built by amateurs; the Titanic was
built by professionals.
12. Remember that the woodpeckers
inside are a larger threat
than the storm outside.
13. No matter the storm,
when God is with you, there's a
rainbow waiting.
Perhaps the above can serve as
some useful reminders for
ushering in the new year and the new millennium. Isn't it
amazing what can be gleamed from ancient stories when we
embrace a slight shift of perception!
Subj: Photography By John Wilhelm (S903)
Source: (Removed from mashable.com/2014/05/07)
Stored as 'Important Thinks I've Learned From Kids' in THOUGHTS-KIDS
Subj: Eric And The Dread Gazebo (S143)
From: jmholmes in 1999
This has long been one of my
favorites, and lately my 10
year old has been playing DD the old fashioned way, so
maybe it's topical again:
If you're familiar with
role playing games you might
enjoy this. I give you the tale of Eric and the Dread
... In the early seventies
Ed Whitchurch ran "his game",
and one of the participants was Eric Sorenson.
Eric plays something like
a computer. When he games he
methodically considers each possibility before choosing
his preferred option. If given time he will invariably
pick the optimal solution. It has been known to take
weeks. He is otherwise, in all respects, a superior
Eric was playing a Nuetral
Paladin in Ed's game. He
was on some lord's lands when the following exchange
You see a well groomed garden. In the middle,
on a small hill, you see a gazebo.
ERIC: A gazebo? What color is it?
ED: (Pause) It's white, Eric.
ERIC: How far away is it?
ED: About 50 yards.
ERIC: How big is it?
(Pause) It's about 30 feet across, 15 feet high,
with a pointed top.
ERIC: I use my sword to detect good on it.
ED: It's not good, Eric. It's a gazebo.
ERIC: (Pause) I call out to it.
ED: It won't answer. It's a -gazebo-.
ERIC: (Pause)
I sheathe my sword and draw my bow and
arrows. Does it respond in any way?
ED: No, Eric, it's a gazebo!
ERIC: I shoot it
with my bow (roll to hit). What
There is now a gazebo with an arrow sticking
out of it.
ERIC: (Pause) Wasn't it wounded?
ERIC: (Whimper) But that was a +3 arrow!
It's a gazebo, Eric, a GAZEBO! If you really want
to try to destroy it you could try to chop it with
an axe, I suppose, or you could try to burn it,
but I don't know why anybody would even try. It's
a @#$%!! gazebo!
ERIC: (Long pause.
He has no axe or fire spells) I
run away.
(Thoroughly frustrated) It's too late. You've
awakened the gazebo. It catches you and eats you.
ERIC: (Reaching
for his dice) Maybe I'll roll up a fire-
using mage so I can avenge my Paladin.
At this point the increasingly
amused fellow party members
restored a modicum of order by explaining what a gazebo is.
Thus ends the tale of
Eric and the Dread Gazebo. A little
vocabulary is a dangerous thing.
Subj: Saturday Evening Post Cartoon (S1027)
From: Fred's mother in 2016
Subj: Short Kid Jokes
Subj: Kid Visits The Elderly (S306b, S862)
From: gheckman in 2002
While working for an organization that delivers lunches
to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old
daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued
by the various appliances
of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheel-
chairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false
teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and
whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
Subj: What It Means to Be Adopted
From: RFSlick in 1999 (S131b)
Teacher Debbie Moon's first graders were discussing
a picture of a family. One little boy in the picture had
a different color hair than the other family members. One
child suggested that he was adopted and a little girl
said, "I know all about adoptions because I was adopted."
"What does it mean to be adopted?" asked another child.
"It means," said the girl, "that you grew in your mommy's
heart instead of her tummy."
12 Great Kid Photos
From: tom in 2008
..........(S590 in Kids Pictures)
Subj: 'Because' Isn't A Reason (S415b)
From: igiggle in 2005
Andrew asked his father, "Why can't you give me money to go
on a trip with my friends?"
The father said, "Because!"
Andrew said, "Because is no answer."
His father asked, "Why isn't 'Because' an answer?"
Andrew said, "Because!"
Subj: Crayon Color Quiz (S380b)
From: igiggle in 2004
Source: (Removed from funtrivia.com)
How well do you know your crayons? This quiz which
has been removed, tested your knowledge.
If Dads Raised The Kids (S378)
From: Imogenelumen in 2004
Subj: Little Things Are Cute (S331, S629b)
From: gomilpitas in 2003
Kids are cute. Babies are cute. Puppies are cute. All
little things are cute. See, God did this on purpose so
that we would want to take care of our young. Made them
cute. Tricked us.
Gradually they get older and
older, until one day your
mother sits you down and says, "You know, I think you're
ugly enough to get your own apartment."
Subj: Caring Children Contest (S213)
From: flovilla in 2001
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about a
contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest
was to find the most caring child.
The winner was a four year old
child whose next door
neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost
his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went
into the old gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and
just sat there. When his mother asked him what he had
said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I
just helped him cry."
The History of Toys (S362b)
From: igiggle in 2004
Source: http://www.littlekidstuff.com/
Subj: The Perfect Son (S319)
From: LABLaughs.com in 2003
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son.
How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
Subj: Son Compared To Lincoln (S264b)
From: CatScratch in 2002
A father noticed that his son was spending way too much
time playing computer games. In an effort to motivate
the boy into focusing more attention on his schoolwork,
the father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your
age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
The son replied, "When Lincoln
was your age, he was The
President of The United States."
Subj: Parent Stubbs Toe (S213)
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com in 2001
When my wife quit work to take care of our new baby
daughter, countless hours of peek-a-boo and other games
slowly took their toll.
One evening my wife smacked her
bare toes on the corner
of a dresser and, grabbing her foot, sank to the floor.
I rushed to her side and asked what she hurt.
She looked at me through tear-filled
eyes and managed to
moan, "It's the piggy that ate roast beef."
Subj: Johnny Wants A Piece Of Cake
From: thebartend
..........in 2000 (S187)
from Yahoo! Images
Later, when his mother brought
him a piece of cooled cake,
Little Johnny exclaimed, "Gee, it worked!"
Puzzled, his mother asked, "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny replied, "Daddy
said that in order to get a
piece around here, you have to spend a couple of hours
playing first!"
Subj: Children's Day
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com in 1999
In India, 14th November is celebrated as Children's Day
(It is dedicated in the memory of the first Prime Minister
who loved children). A kid was asked "Why 14th November is
celebrated as Children's day ?" He replied with a smirk,
"Because it is 9 months after Valentine's Day"
Wanting Mom To Sleep With Him During Storm
From: thebartend in 2000 (S178)
Little Johnny from Yahoo! Images
His mother smiled and gave him
a reassuring hug. "I can't
dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room."
A long silence was broken at
last by a shaken little voice
saying, "He's a big sissy!"
Subj: Disobeying Mother (S176)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com in 2000
Jimmy's mom dragged him in front of his dad during the
football game.
"Talk to your son," she said.
"He refuses to obey a word
I say."
The father turned to Jimmy angrily.
"Jimmy, how dare you
disobey your mother. Do you think you're better than your
old man?"
Subj: Two Boys Argue Over Whose Dad Is Better (S176)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com in 2000
Two little boys, one blond, one with brown hair, were
arguing over whose father could beat the other' up.
The brown-haired kid said, "My
father is way better than
The blond came back, "Maybe,
but my mother is better than
"That's what my father says."
Subj: Boy And Girl To Play Doctor (S175)
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #317 in 2000
A little boy and a little girl were sitting on the porch
talking, when the little girl asked, "Do you want to get
undressed and we can play doctor?"
The little boy replied, "That's
too old fashioned...spit
out your gum. I want to play President."
Subj: Boy And Girl Play House (S157)
From: FrankRoesch in 2000
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.
The girl approaches the boy and says,
"Hey Stevie, wanna play house?"
He says, "Sure! What do you want me to do?"
The girl replies, "I want you to communicate."
He says to her, "that word is too big. I have no idea
what it means."
The little girl smirks and says, "Perfect. You can be
the husband."
Subj: Birds and the Bees (S154, S517c)
From: JOKE-OF-THE-DAY.com in 2000
Morris asks his son, now aged 10, if he knows about the
birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" the child
said, bursting into tears. Confused, the father asked his
son what was wrong.
"Oh dad," he sobbed, "at age
six I got the 'there's no
Santa' speech. At age seven I got the 'there's no Easter
bunny' speech. Then at age 8 you hit me with the 'there's
no tooth fairy' speech! If you're going to tell me now
that grown-ups don't really have sex, I've got nothing
left to live for!"
Subj: Grandparents Raising Kids (S136)
From: NEA Today, September 1999
Over 5 million American children, about 8 percent of the
total, live with grandparents, says a new Census report.
Households led by grandmoms are the most likely to be
Subj: The Most Caring Child (S131b)
From: RFSlick in 1999
Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about
a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the
contest was to find the most caring child. The winner
was a four year old child whose next door neighbor
was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old
gentleman's yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.
When his mother asked him what
he had said to the
neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just helped
him cry."
Subj: Discouraged? (S131b)
From: RFSlick in 1999
As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to
watch a local Little League baseball game that was
being played in a park near my home.
As I sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I
asked one of the boys what the score was. "We're
behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a smile.
"Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very
discouraged." "Discouraged?" the boy asked with
a puzzled look on his face. "Why should we be
discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."
Subj: Roles And How We Play Them (S131b)
From: RFSlick in 1999
Whenever I'm disappointed with my spot in my life,
I stop and think about little Jamie Scott. Jamie was
trying out for a part in a school play. His mother told
me that he'd set his heart on being in it, though she
feared he would not be chosen. On the day the parts
were awarded, I went with her to collect him after
school. Jamie rushed up to her, eyes shining with
pride and excitement. "Guess what Mom," he shouted,
and then said those words that will remain a lesson to me:
"I've been chosen to clap and cheer."
Subj: A Lesson In Heart (S131b)
From: RFSlick in 1999
A lesson in "heart" is my little, 10 year old daughter,
Sarah, who was born with a muscle missing in her foot
and wears a brace all the time. She came home one
beautiful spring day to tell me she had competed in
"field day" - that's where they have lots of races and
other competitive events. Because of her leg support,
my mind raced as I tried to think of encouragement for
my Sarah, things I could say to her about not letting this
get her down - but before I could get a word out, she
said "Daddy, I won two of the races!" I couldn't believe
it! And then Sarah said, "I had an advantage." Ah. I
knew it. I thought she must have been given a head
start...some kind of physical advantage. But again,
before I could say anything, she said, "Daddy, I didn't
get a head start... My advantage was I had to try harder!"
Subj: Woman Gives Up Twins (S126b, S610c)
From: FrankRoesc in 1999
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of
them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal. The other
goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later
Juan sends a picture of himself to his Mom. Upon receiving
the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also
had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds, "But they are
twins--once you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal.
Subj: Keeping Albert Calm
From: ipkis in 1997
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained
a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating
softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert;
don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him
said, "You certainly are to be
commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert."
The man looked at her and said,
"Lady, I'm Albert."
Subj: Two Poor Kids At A Pool (S41)
From: humorlist-digest V1 #238 in 1997
Two poor kids were invited by a rich kid to a swimming party
at his pool.
When they were changing into
their swim trunks, one turned
to the other and said, "Did you notice the small dicks on
all the rich kids?"
Other answered, "Yeah! It's probably
because they have toys
to play with!"
2 preteen tweekers were walking
down the street.
The first said "I'm going to be a fireman when I
streighten out my life."
The second said "I'm going to be a vitamine when I
streighten out mine."
The first answered "You can't be a vitamine."
The second said "Sure I can dude. I was walking down a
street last week and I saw a billboard 'VITAMINE B1'."
The world's youngest parents
were 8 and 9 and in lived
in China in 1910.
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #166
Two five year old boys are sitting in a hospital room. One
leans over to the other and says, "What are you in here for?"
The other says, "Circumcision."
The first boy saysm "Oh, man!
I had that done right after I
was born. I couldn't walk for a year!"
From: humorlist-digest V1 #207 in 1997
Jon's 6 year old son asked you what a penis was. Jon
whipped yours out and said, "Son, *this* is a penis.
As a matter of fact, it's a *perfect* penis".
The next day, Jon's son was playing
with the little girl
next door and *she* asked what a penis was. He whipped
his out and said, "*This* is a penis. As a matter of fact,
if it was four inches shorter, it'd be a *perfect* penis."
From: BawdyNet test part 3! in 1998
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't
appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age.
From: humorlist-digest V2 #281 in 1998
"Children are a sexually transmitted disease." -- Unknown
From: ossama in 1999 (S110)
Kids in the back seat cause accidents;
accidents in the back seat causekids.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day in 2001 (S239)
"Never allow your child to call you by your first name.
He hasn't known you long enough." -- Fran Lebowitz
From: Joke-Of-The-Day in 2001 (S239)
"You get a lot of tension. You get a lot of headaches.
I do what it says on the aspirin bottle: Take two and
keep away from children." -- Roseanne
From: Joke-Of-The-Day in 2001 (S254)
"Sound really does travel slower than light. The advice
parents give to their 18-year-olds doesn't reach them
until they're about 40." -- Unknown.
From: LABLaughsAdult in 2005 (S414b)
"A happy childhood is one of the best gifts that parents
have it in their power to bestow." -- Mary Cholondeley
From: dogbyte in 2002 (S263)
Learn from your parents' mistakes:
Use birth control!
From: Joke-Of-The-Day in 2002 (S264)
"If your parents never had children, chances
are you won't, either." -- Dick Cavett
From: Joke-Of-The-Day in 2002 (S269)
The sole purpose of a child's middle name is
so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
From: dogbyte in 2002 (S280b)
Boy (noun): A noise with dirt on it.
The most interesting information comes from children,
for they tell all they know and then stop. -- Mark Twain
From: LABLaughsClean in 2005 (S443b)
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is
To have a thankless child!" -- William Shakespeare
(1564 - 1616), "King Lear", Act 1 scene 4
From: Bawdy.Net Collage #309 in 1999
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask your mother.
From: Joke-Of-The-Day.com in 2001 (S219)
Q: What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
A: Kids don't eat broccoli.
-(o o)-
............................From Smiley_Central


text:
Australian Capital Territory
Note that the Australian Capital Territory was formerly being part of New South Wales.
Image Gallery Page Navigation
Page 1 of 1
Neddy, King of Neis Valley
1985.59.383 Edmund O Milne Collection
140 x 113 x 6
This is a well-crafted sand-cast brass gorget made in a deep crescent shape that copies that of military gorgets. The face in the centre of the escarbuncle or sunburst decoration is a heraldic symbol of faith. [1] The surfaces and suspension holes are well worn, indicating that it was handled and used often. The style of lettering and design indicate mid-nineteenth century. No information has been uncovered about Neddy. However, the Neis Valley is probably the Naas Valley near Tharwa, Australian Capital Territory.
1 T Woodcock and JM Robinson, The Oxford Guide to Heraldry, Oxford University Press, Oxford, 1988, p. 54.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
With the popularity of Dark Horse's release of the complete library of classic Little Lulu comics, we are happy to offer Little Lulu and her sidekick Tubby as 8' vinyl figures. From her first appearance in The Saturday Evening Post in the 1930s as a single panel gag strip, Little Lulu has gone on to become a beloved cultural icon all over the world. Tubby was alternately Little Lulu's closest companion and biggest nemesis-forever getting into mischief and hatching schemes. Tubby and his club, the Junior Paratroopers often found themselves matching wits with Lulu, with often disastrous results. Whether you purchase one, or both, Lulu and Tubby will be your cute companions! Categoria: Toys and models
Invia una segnalazione/commento per questo articolo
Prezzo di copertina: USD 14,99
Prezzo HoVistoCose: EUR 15,28
Pagina del Previews (DEC/2007): 52
Data di uscita: 24/01/08


text:
What do you get when you combine 11 hours of awesome music per day for 6 days, over 130 incredible artists from around the world, eight perfectly engineered stages and tens of thousands of enthusiastic music lovers with just the right amount of weirdness and originality? The answer: The one, the only, Austin City Limits Music Festival. This year's festival was once again held on two consecutive weekends, October 3 – 5, and Oct 10 – 12, 2014 in beautiful downtown Austin, Texas.
Friday, October 3:
After the overnight passing of the fall's first cold front, sunny skies and mild temperatures welcomed attendees and participants for the start of the thirteenth annual ACL Fest. Held on the shores of Lady Bird Lake, in picturesque Zilker Park, the festival had something for every musical taste including Western Swing, EDM, Hip-Hop, Rap, Reggae, Rock, Pop, Folk, Gospel, and every alternative and indie grouping in between. There was even a public school choir from neighboring Barton Hills Elementary School, located just up the hill from Zilker Park.
Ray Benson made his thirteenth appearance at an ACL Fest performing with Asleep At The Wheel. Ray is the only artist to have appeared at all 13 fests. Other acts appearing on Day One included Foster The People, Sam Smith, Belle and Sebastian, Chvrches, Bleachers, Jimmy Cliff, Childish Gambino, Temples, and The Preatures. Closing out the night, the audience chose between the alternative rock stylings of Beck or the Hip-Hop sounds of Outkast.
Saturday, October 4:
The weather for day two was just as beautiful as day one. Along with the cool breeze, the air was also filled with the scents of yummy delicacies from dozens of Austin's favorite restaurants: Amy's Ice Cream, Stubb's BBQ, Torchy's Tacos, P. Terry's Burgers, Austin's Pizza, and JuiceLand were just a few of the vendors selling foods on the festival grounds. For the adults in the crowd, the festival offered a huge craft beer tent with a wide selection of choices from local craft breweries.
Day Two attendees were treated to more great musical acts including Avett Brothers, Trombone Shorty and Orleans Avenue, Juanes, Interpol, Iggy Azalea, Lana Del Ray, Broken Bells, and The Head and The Heart. The closing acts for day two were Skrillex and Eminem.
|Iggy Azalea
|Scott Avett of The Avett Brothers
|The Avett Brothers
|Sonny John Moore of Skrillex
Sunday, October 5:
Sunday brought another perfect day filled with music and fun in the "Live Music Capital of the World". The eight stages distributed throughout the 46 acre section of Zilker Park used as a concert venue were each constructed to accommodate different size audiences and acts. The larger stages, hosted by Samsung Galaxy and Honda, were equipped with stereo towers and huge video screens so the larger audiences could see and hear the performances better while the smaller stages allowed for a more up-close and personal experience.
Day Three brought performances by Jenny Lewis, Kongos, The Replacements, Chromeo, Fitz and the Tantrums, Spoon, Phantogram, and Zedd. Closing out Week One of the festival were Calvin Harris and Pearl Jam.
|Dave 1 of Chromeo
|Noelle Scaggs and Michael Fitzpatrick of Fitz and The Tantrums
|Jenny Lewis
|The Replacements
Friday, October 10:
Week two of ACL Fest started out in typical Austin, Texas fashion as temperatures again rose into the low '90s. This was too warm for some in attendance, but much nicer than the 100 plus degree temps experienced a few years ago before the festival date was moved from September to October. This move and the yearly resodding of the festival area has helped avoid the dustbowl effect experienced in previous years. In an effort to keep Zilker Park as clean and green as possible this year, festival organizers extended a special offer to ecologically-minded attendees. If the festival goers would take a bag provided to them, collect trash from the park grounds and return the filled bag to festival officials, they would receive an official ACL Fest T-shirt.
Many of the acts featured during Week One returned to the festival grounds for Week Two, but each day also included a smattering of new acts as well. Some of the acts performing for Day One of Week Two included Paolo Nutini, St. Vincent, Robert Ellis, Broods, Saints of Valory, Capital Cities, James Bay, The Glitch Mob and Ozomatli. Once again Beck and Outkast closed out the night.
|Boreta, Ooah, and edIT of Glitch Mob
|Jimmy Cliff
|Andre 3000 and Big Boi of Outkast
|Paolo Nutini
|Robert Ellis
|Annie Clark of St. Vincent
Saturday, October 11:
In the early morning hours of Saturday, an incoming front brought thunderstorms into the Austin area, dumping heavy rains on the festival grounds and delaying the start of the gates opening until noon. This forced the cancellation of a handful of shows, but after a bit of ground maintenance, the festival started rolling again.
Audiences were able to enjoy shows from the likes of The Tune Yards, Beats Antique, The Rosebuds, Empires, Rey Pila, Rebelution, Zoe, Icona Pop, Lucius, as well as closers Skrillex and Eminem.
Audiences were able to enjoy shows from the likes of The Tune Yards, Beats Antique, The Rosebuds, Empires, Rey Pila, Rebelution, Zoe, Icona Pop, Lucius, as well as closers Skrillex and Eminem.
|Zoe Jakes of Beats Antiques
|James Mercer of Broken Bells
|Melinda Kirwin and Simon Rudston-Brown of Falls
|Jonathan Russell and Josiah Johnson of The Head and The Heart
|Troy Andrews of Trombone Shorty and Orleans Avenue
Sunday, October 12:
Although the skies remained gray for most of the day, no significant rain fell on the final day of ACL Fest 2014. To the delight of festival attendees this day was jam-packed with talented musical acts not the least of which was England's 17 year old superstar, Lorde, who concluded her North American Tour in the same city in which she began the tour six months ago. Also on the stages this day were The Stapletones featuring local boys The Peterson Brothers, Nostalghia, Colony House, Parker Millsap, AFI, Cults, Gramatik, The Gaslight Anthem, and Calvin Harris. The entire festival was brought to a successful conclusion with a rocking performance by Pearl Jam.
Despite the rain, mud, and minor cancellations on Saturday, the Thirteenth Annual Austin City Limits Music Festival was a great success. Audiences were able to choose between a wide variety of musical acts each day, some well-established and some up-and-coming. And that's what a festival should be about; discovering new music and supporting your favorites.
If you haven't had the opportunity to attend the ACL Music Fest, mark your calendars for the 14 annual festival scheduled for Oct 2- 4 and 9 – 11, 2015 right here in the "Live Music Capital of The World." But don't forget to get your tickets right when they go on sale. Those 75,000 or so tickets for each day sell out months ahead of time.


text:
Freesia White
Freesia will accent any wedding bouquet, table centerpiece or flower arrangement perfectly. Very sweet, fragrant small flowers with several blooms per stem are popular choice among today's brides. Available Year Round. Must be ordered 2 weeks in advance (call or email for shorter notice).
- All orders should be made two weeks in advance to avoid 20% surcharge
- Shades of color may vary at Mother Nature's discretion
- If you have any specific requests please make them upon ordering
Customer Reviews:There are yet no reviews for this product.
Please log in to write a review.


text:
1. Hey Boy
This is 1981 and MAGGIE BELL has joined forces with DAVE DOWLE (Whitesnake / Chapman /Whitney Streetwalkers) to form MIDNIGHT FLYER a band she described at the time as Good, healthy rock'n'roll".
Their management immediately set them to work opening for Bob Seger in Europe and AC/DC in America where they built up a healthy live following. Sadly their career was short-lived and they released only one album (produced by MICK RALPHS) plus a maxi single from which the bonus tracks on this CD are drawn from.
Released for the first time ever on CD, remastered with rare unseen band photos and interviews with Maggie Bell, Dave Dowle and Mick Ralphs
It's an album of well-played and crafted blues rock with a touch of soul, mainly due to the wonderfully earthy tones of Maggie Bell (nearest comparison would be Tina Turner in her classic 70's guise)...
There are plenty of rockers like 'Hey Boy' and 'French Kisses', but Bell comes alive on the slower, soul tinged tracks like 'In My Eyes'. There are two bonus tracks on this remastered re-release including the good time feel of 'Rock 'N' Roll Party' plus very informative and interesting sleeve notes...
Certainly one for Maggie Bell fans and those who enjoy classic blues rock.
Jason Ritchie, www.getreadytorock.com (March 2005)
The songs, mostly written by drummer Dowle, are generic would-be stadium rockers...
Classic Rock, May 2005
This is one of those that really seems to have slipped through the net for some reason as this is a great album that powers along with the band playing strong songs and Mick Ralphs doing a fine job on the production...loads of great melodies...
...a strong polished rock album with great vocals which definitely deserves to be heard by a wider audience and this reissue does it plenty of justice with copious sleeve notes and photos in the 24 poage booklet, and two extra songs not originally featured on the album
Feedback, May 2005
Bell possessed a granite, soulful voice but her looks were never going to bother the glossy magazine pages, and shamefully the group disbanded after this one-off release. It ranks as a true long-lost classic with enough extras, in two bonuses and extensive packaging, to warrant a replacement of the original vinyl.
Record Collector (June 2005)
...this is a fine soul-based blues-rock release that can be easily regarded as a feminine version of Whitesnake.
www.maelstrom.nu (June 2005)
...hard riffing rock...well packaged with informative liner notes...
Blues In Britain (July 2005)
...keep turning up the volume, and when the roof starts shaking you can finally hear the power intrinsic to the original vinyl.
Jo-Ann Greene, Goldmine (July 2005)
It's an excellent piece of work which has certainly never achieved the recognition that it deserved...
Kevin Bryan, Belfast Telegraph


text:
[Skip to content]
The UK Members Council is the custodian of the long-term interests of athletics in the UK. It ensures the accountability of UK Athletics by overseeing its strategic direction.
It replaces the previous UK Athletics Council in undertaking the statutory functions required of the 'members' of UK Athletics, such as approving the appointment of Directors.
To ensure that the activities of UK Athletics are endorsed by the sport as a whole, the UK Members Council consists of:
A President and Vice President
a representative from each of the four National Associations
three club representatives, one of whom will represent clubs without a track and field section, to ensure the full breadth of clubs has a voice
one person each representing coaching, officials, and road running
any Briton currently serving as an IAAF Council Member
and up to two additional members, selected by the above for their expertise, ideally with experience of being an international athlete


text:
KaKa File Shredder 4.1
File Shredder is an advanced security tool for Windows which allows you to completely remove sensitive data from your hard drive by overwriting it several times with US Dod 5220.22-M erasure method. Easy to implement and fast to use in practice. Permanently erases, total peace of mind for sensitive information. Fast erasure for files, folders, temporary files and free space. Drop Target Window - To make drag & drop really convenient, you can...


text:
Had a lot of Dalvin Cook, Mariota & Kelley in my lineups this week. Common denominator? All 3 got injured.
Had a lot of Dalvin Cook, Mariota & Kelley in my lineups this week. Common denominator? All 3 got injured.
|Sponsored Links
In his only 2 games vs the Bengals (2015 & 2016), McCoy has 2 TDs and is averaging 5.59 ypa.
Historical stats are only relevant half of the time, so he could lay an egg. But, its better than just going with your gut & with Matthews out, that leaves one less mouth to feed. McCoy will need to step up & against the Bengals D, I think he can.
Last week of the regular season & I got that co-worker's horrible team into first place. Three-way tie for first, she has the tiebreaker. She's up against one of the other teams, so this final week is a must win.
Unfortunately, her opponent has gravy matchups across the board, and she does not.
Thinking of this as the starting lineup...looks weak AF. Thoughts?
QB - E.Manning - Gonna be fired up this week.
RB - L.Miller
RB - R.Burkhead
WR - M.Goodwin
WR - D.Thomas
TE - E.Engram
D - Jax vs Seattle
QB Brees (hate playing Thursday night players)
QB Carr
RB Freeman (hate playing Thursday night players)
RB Coleman (hate playing Thursday night players)
RB Henry
WR M.Lee
WR A.Cooper
TE G.Olsen
I could add Mike Wallace and start him over Demariyus Thomas. Wallace is up against his old team Pittsburgh. Sold high on Sammy Watkins & Will Fuller for Demariyus and he has been absolutely brutal ever since I picked him up.
Dealt TY Hilton 3 weeks ago for Amari...specifically for weeks 13 & 14.
The only Lions player available would be Golladay, but his last 4 totals: 2,2,2,2
had my worst fantasy year this year 3-10: this is my roster
QB - Rivers
RB - Dion Lewis
RB - Samaje P
WR - Tyreek Hill
WR - Dez Bryant
WR - Josh Gordon
TE - Evan Engram
K - Jake Elliot
|Sponsored Links
Anyone interested in playing daily fantasy NBA, NFL or NHL?
I have a referral link for a new site for you. The more you play, the more $ I get...so sign up and play lots! haha
They have $1 games all the way up to $60 buy-ins.
Instead of just picking who you want in your lineup, you have a live draft. Its a lot of fun actually. I kicked *** stacking the Panthers last weekend.
Its still in BETA, but if you want to check it out, send me a PM & I will send you the link.


text:
Handy clipboard history and notes storage. It is very easy to use: just press Ctrl+Mouse button or hotkey to view your clipboard history - it is so simple and fast! You can specify hotkey to any stored item and quickly paste it to active application.
This software is not reviewed yet.
Personal Finances is a personal financial application that you can install on the USB drive. The application will help you keep track of all incomes, expenses with ease and help to keep a well-balanced budget to avoid the overspending.
Personal Finances is a family budget planner and expenses and income manager for home use. Once installed on the USB flash drive, it enables people to track income and expenses and plan budget from any computer. Create budget that works!


text:
Below, you will find an overview of authorities involved in recognising professional qualifications. In addition, we'll introduce you to the BQ-Portal project office.
Various authorities in Germany are responsible for the assessment and recognition of foreign professional qualifications. This overview will show you who is in charge.
The competence centre [registered users only]
The competence centre staff support the assessment authorities in compiling the country and professional profiles.
Meet the BQ-Portal project office and find out who to contact with your questions surrounding the portal.


text: Page Content 1Externships The Externship Program, offered by the Undergraduate Center for Career Development, is a program designed for students in the exploration phase of their career development. Spend one to five days, observing professionals on the job and gain an understanding of a career, industry, organization, or function. "I did a one day externship at a non-profit in Michigan. I loved the short term experience where I could learn as much as possible in a day. The CEO was very inspiring and I learned many lessons from him." – Kelly Hoover '14 Student FAQ: Why Do an Externship? Develop a more refined and realistic understanding of your career goalsShadow a professional in action and ask questions regarding processes, procedures, and functionsClarify questions that they might have about a particular field of interestEncourage networking and mentor relationshipsQuestion and test assumptions about a function or processBe more attuned to what they can expect in a possible career track Benefit for Hosts No cost to alumni or organizations – Students provide their own housing and transportation and are NOT compensated for time spent with their hosting organizations. A great internship recruiting tool - An externship provides you with the opportunity to meet and identify candidates early in the recruiting process for summer internship opportunities. Exposure – Many students have misconceptions about career fields and organizations. They have no idea what a particular career job entails and they may have a passing understanding of most organizations outside of the name brands. An externship gives students the chance to develop a firsthand understanding and see for themselves what your organization is about. Giving back – A great way to give back to Babson College is with your time and experience. An externship provides you with an opportunity to make a nonmonetary contribution to the college. For more information or to volunteer as an Externship host, please contact Arline MacCormack at 781-239-4003.


text:
The Austin Air Allergy HEGA Jr. Filter is a three-part filter (with outer pre-filter included) that captures the full spectrum of airborne contaminants, from pollen and bacteria to gaseous contaminants. The Allergy HEGA Jr. Filter is perfect for high-particulate areas: the unique HEGA (High Efficiency Gas Adsorption) filtration includes 30 feet of true medical HEPA filter before a military-grade carbon cloth filter.
You should only need to replace this filter once every five years; it comes with a pro-rated warranty. The Allergy HEGA Jr. Filter also comes with a new Permafilt Pre-Filter included.
This is the main replacement filter for the Austin Air Allergy Machine Jr. and the Austin Air Baby's Breath.
Components of the Austin Air Allergy HEGA Jr. Filter
Stage 1 - Large particle pre-filter removes large airborne particles such as dust, hair and pet dander.
Stage 2 - Medium particle pre-filter removes small and medium sized particles like molds and pollen.
Stage 3 - 30 square feet of certified HEPA filter removes 99.97% of all particles larger than 0.3 mircons.
Stage 4 - Activated military carbon cloth removes chemicals, gasses and odors.
What the Austin Air Allergy HEGA Jr. Filter Does
Provides clean air without harmful by-products (no ozone)!
Removes allergens such as dust, pollen and mold extremely well.
Helps provide allergy relief for those near trees and plants, farms, as well as cities and roads.
Filters chemicals and gasses from the air in your home.
Allergy Machine Jr. HEGA Filter
- Product Code: FR205B
- Availability: In Stock
Related Products
Tags: FR205B


text:
On 8 August 2016 the Financial Stability Board (FSB) launched a peer review. The peer review focuses on the implementation of the G20's Principles of Corporate Governance (Principles) and in particular, how members have applied the Principles to publicly listed and regulated financial institutions. In summary, the Principles cover areas like governance, frameworks, disclosure and transparency. The objectives of the peer review include the following:
- identifying effective practices, areas of progress and weak spots
- informing and updating the Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development's current review of Assessment Methodology
- to flag areas where further work could be done to promote the effective governance of financial institutions.
Feedback has been welcomed from financial institutions, consumer associations, stakeholders and industry. Areas where comments are anticipated include:
- how the corporate governance framework can promote a fair market and the efficient allocation of resources
- ways in which the corporate governance framework recognises the rights of stakeholders and encourages co-operation between financial institutions and other stakeholders
- how corporate governance can ensure the strategic guidance of the financial institution in question and the monitoring and management of its board.
The peer review will be published in 2017.


text: From Sugar Hill to Shelburne, the Connecticut to the Androscoggin, North Country Healthcare is health care better than ever. We are five local healthcare partners coming together to deliver expert care in the communities where we all work, live, and play. North Country Healthcare is committed to providing the highest level of personal, patient-focused healthcare to our communities. We are Androscoggin Valley Hospital, Littleton Regional Healthcare, North Country Home Health & Hospice, Upper Connecticut Valley Hospital, and Weeks Medical Center.


text:
While Ohio is never going to catch up with Florida in terms of overall crazy, the Buckeye State has more than its share of insane behavior, and has the mugshots to prove it.
Read Full Article
Major props to Zishy for introducing us to Emily Archer (aka Emily Hayworth) a beautiful redhead model who, sadly, just announced her hiatus from modeling.
Life is good for the people of Argentina right now.
Two sets of bad decisions in one picture.
Check out of our favorite photos of Christy in the gallery above, and if you have a suggestion for a future installment of Classic Crush, shoot it to us on twitter @HolyTaco.
Claudia Ochoa Felix has legs for days, ass for months, and can probably have you executed like the gringo dog you are.
Eva has thighs like a prime Bo Jackson, and the bulging abs of a He-Man action figure. The question is: Are you into that sort of thing?
The sheer suckitude of the MPAA has been well documented. In some cases, their poster-bans are justified; in others, it's just plain stupid. In all cases, though, the banning likely just made the posters more viral — which is why censorship ...
Rachel Ann Mullins is a Los Angeles-based actress who will be appearing in next year's Entourage movie as a girl who gets sushi eaten off of her, hopefully not by that Turtle guy.
Celebs are usually good-looking, and they get to make whoopee with good-looking people and produce other hot people. It's science, really.


text:
Skip to comments.IT?S OUTING SEASON! (Has Sen. Barbara Mikulski, been outed?)
Posted on 07/07/2004 11:39:03 AM PDT by carlo3b
ITS OUTING SEASON! (Has Sen. Barbara Mikulski, just been outed?)
Ready for the federal marriage amendment?
By Michelangelo Signorile
As the July 12 date nears for a vote on the federal marriage amendment, an outing panic has gripped Washington's political and media circles. Some gay activists have vowed to expose those closeted members of Congress who are supporting the amendment, as well as the closeted gay staffers of any member backing it. And it's not only right-wing Republicans who should be on notice. After initially indicating that she would vote against the constitutional amendment that would make gays and lesbians into second-class citizens, Sen. Barbara Mikulski's opposition to the amendment appears to have gone into the closet: Now that a vote is near, the Maryland Democratwho is up for reelection in Novemberis suddenly not returning reporters' phone calls seeking her intentions on the vote, nor is she issuing any statements on the matter.
Mikulski's position on same-sex marriage isn't the only thing in her closet: The sexual orientation of the forever-unmarried 67-year-old has been an open secret for many years. But Mikulski has apparently always worried about what her working-class Democratic base in Maryland might think of her sexual orientation, making her irrationally petrified of ever discussing it (except to make heterosexual allusions).
These fears have made Mikulski less than a champion of gay rights, perhaps lest anyone think she might be gay herself. Back in the 80s, when Mikulski was first running for the Senate, the Republicans brought in as her opponent none other than the nasty anti-feminist Linda Chavezthe columnist and pundit who years later would drop out as George W. Bush's Labor Secretary nominee amid a scandal over her having paid her housekeeper off the books. During the Senate campaign, Chavez engaged in her own bit of gay-baiting, accusing Mikulski of being a "San Francisco-style Democrat" who should come "out of the closet." She also attacked Mikulski for hiring an Australian feminist academic, Teresa Mary Brennan, as a congressional aide in 1981, and went after Mikulski for supporting the Equal Rights Amendment, charging that the ERA would "open up the whole question of homosexual marriage."
It had been widely reported that Brennan, at the time of her employment, was living with Mikulski at her Fells Point home for two months. Chavez's campaign manager told reporters that in the final two weeks of the campaign, tv commercials would focus on Mikulski's relationship with Brennan. Mikulski's response was to go gaga over a hunky guy at a campaign event.
"Are you single?" the short, squat Mikulski asked a body shop owner in the crowd. "Give me a call after the election. I won't be so busy then."
(As far as I'm concerned, Mikulski opened up her private life that day, implying that she certainly had a sexual orientation, though trying to make us believe it was of the heterosexual variety.)
Mikulski won the election by a wide margin, but she learned that she'd always be gay-baited, so it was perhaps best to vote against gays. This strategy seemed to culminate in 1996 when Mikulski voted in favor of the wretched Defense of Marriage Act, incurring the wrath of gay activists. At a Barnes & Noble in Chelsea that yearpromoting a mystery novel she'd co-written, called Capitol OffenseMikulski was confronted by several gay activists and journalists, including me.
(Excerpt) Read more at nypress.com ...
Couldn't read past that point. What are they now? They have representation in government, insurance, custody battles and the right to adopt and indoctrinate children into their lifestyle choice. What more do they need? The right to pay more in taxes and b*tch that their former "marriage partner" was running around, threw him/her/it out of the house, filed for divorce and took him/her/it to the cleaners?
And you'd better believe the place clears out when Barbara Mikulski shows up for a swim!
Now cut that out!
I imagine that Orrin Hatch or Trent Lott would have a similar bipartisan impact...
She's a MAN, baby!
We appear not to be a country of laws any longer.
Somebody thinks shes HOT... Think about it YIKES!!!{{{{{SHIVERS}}}}}
Looks like the grand opening of a new lesbian bar.
ROTFLMAO! Just what every woman desires! To be described as short and SQUAT!
Mr. Specter may have some staffer issues too.
still on the server...
I lived in MD in that election and voted against her, athough I was a registered Dem at the time. I didn't remember that it was Chavez who ran against her. I just always assumed that Mikulski was a lesbian. I didn't realize that it was a not well-known fact.
On behalf of toads worldwide, I demand a retraction and an apology.
Barb, Hilary and friends enjoy the Indigo Girls at TRIBE-AID'04
Verily, did she ever have an hetero option? Wouldn't some male have to volunteer to prove her hetero bona fides?
I nominate the author, Michelangelo Signorile, to prove that Barbara is hetero. Go ahead Mike, and tell us all about it.
Let me see if I understand them. They are going to fight the stigma of homosexuality (it ought to be a stigma) by plastering certain people that bug them with the stigma of homosexuality?
A person whether male or female would have to be sick in the head to even think of doing anything with that troll.
I remember seeing her election posters on the highways of maryland, and I used to think how in the world can she be elected for anything ,she has always BEEN UGLY ,they used to call her ,and some other fellow back there rubber lips ,they both flopped and spitted at the same time.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.


text:
New Site Submission
The Hot! Directory is our member's directory. To be listed you
must join HitExchange. The directory also contains some
honorary members who are chosen by our staff for their
excellence. But you may not request to be considered for it.
The directory shows members who are currently active. New members
are not listed until approved by our staff. And when an existing
member is put on hold for more than 3 days, the site will be delisted
until it becomes active again. Terminated or suspended accounts
(e.g. account placed on hold for rules violation) are immediately
How are the categories organized?
The categories are organized in a hierarchical structure. At the
top level the categories are broad, but each successive level becomes
more specific. As the number of sites grows, we will further divide
existing categories into deeper level of sub-categories. An
abstract category is one that only contains sub-categories,
such as those at the top level.
All commercial sites must be listed in the 'Business' category.
We have two definitions for commercial sites: (1) the site represents
the web presence of a company or corporation and (2) the site sells
goods or services. Such commercial sites may list outside of
'Business' only when it offers free content.
What are Hot! sites?
HitExchange members vote to determine the Hot! site for each
category. To be eligible to become a Hot! site, a member must be
active (not on hold) and receives at least 50 votes. Ten Hot! sites
are chosen every week in each category.
Once elected, the Hot! sites are featured on the front page of
their categories. When someone enters a category, the Hot! sites will
be seen first. Their 'Info' buttons become red to make them stand out
in the listing. Non Hot! sites have blue 'Info' buttons. Even when
Hot! sites are no longer Hot!, their 'Info' buttons will remain red
for 30 more days.
How do I vote for Hot! sites?
To vote for Hot! sites, you must be an active HitExchange
member. After you login, go to any category in Hot! Directory to
begin voting. You have one vote per category. Browse through the
member list and visit some of them.
When you are ready to vote, click on the Info button
for that site. It will lead you to its profile page where the
site's category listing has a Vote button next to each
category. Click on one to cast your vote in that category. If
you see a Switch Vote button instead of a Vote
button, then you have already voted for another site in that
category. Click on Switch Vote will change your vote to
this site.
If you do not see the Vote or Switch Vote
button, then you cannot vote for the site. Here are some
possibilities: (1) the site is not an active member, e.g. it is on
hold, suspended, or terminated, (2) the site is a honorary member,
or (3) the site is already a Hot! site. Find another site in the
same category to vote for.
Some restrictions are necessary to prevent swinging votes. You
cannot vote for a site if it is already a Hot! site in that category.
Once a site becomes a Hot! site, if you voted for it, then your vote
is "locked in." You cannot change your vote until the site loses its
Hot! site status.
Some restrictions are necessary to prevent swinging votes. You
cannot vote for a site if it is already a Hot! site in that category.
Once a site becomes a Hot! site, if you voted for it, then your vote
is "locked in." You cannot change your vote until the site loses its
Hot! site status.
Rewards for Voting
When you vote for a site and it later becomes a Hot! site, you
will receive two hit credits as reward. With 300+ categories, you
could earn a lot of hit credits this way. The votes are
re-counted every Wednesday, but you don't need to re-vote every
week. All votes are carried over from one week into the next,
until you change or withdraw the vote, or if your site is delisted
from the Hot! Directory.
Here are some fine prints to the election rewards. If a Hot!
site's owner also voted for your site, then it is called
"reciprocal voting" and you will not receive reward hit credits
from it. We disallow it for obvious reasons - to prevent members
from conspiring to vote for each other. Also, rewards are given
only for the first time that a site becomes Hot!. If the site
remains Hot! for the second week, you will not receive additional
reward. And your vote in that category is locked in while the
site remains Hot!.
You also do not receive the reward when a site is re-elected
within 30 days of its previous Hot! status. However, it doesn't
mean you should change your vote as soon as a site is no longer
Hot!. Since it was voted Hot! once before, it may become Hot!
again after 30 days, at which point you will receive more reward.
Tip: If you vote with genuine effort 3-4 times a year,
you should be able to receive a steady stream of hit credits from
your votes every month.
Search Tips
You may enter:
Words: Capitalization and common words are ignored,
e.g. mEssAGE is the same as message, and the,
a, he, and she are all ingored by the search
engine. Words must contain at least 3 letters to become part of the
Exclusion: You may enter an exclamation mark "!" before a
word to exclude it from the search. For example, enter "Disney !World
movies" to find sites about Disney movies but exclude those that has
"Disney World" in its title or description.


text:
|SADC standby forces ready to intervene in DR Congo, Madagascar
XINHUA - February 23, 2009
|The Southern African Development Community (SADC) Standby Brigade is ready to intervene in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DR Congo) and Madagascar in order to restore peace and stability in the two countries, Angola's official news agency ANGOP reported on Monday.
|Signs of Progress Reported in Congo Peace Negotiations
VOA News - February 23, 2009
|Negotiators between the Congolese government and a rebel group in the country's east have reached a preliminary agreement, after talks in the eastern town of Goma. Neither side has released details of the discussion, which would only set the stage for future peace negotiations.
|DR Congo says foreign troops to pull back
XINHUA - February 22, 2009
|Rwanda, Uganda and southern Sudan will withdraw their troops from the Democratic Republic of Congo (DR Congo) next week after joint operations against insurgency in the war-torn central African country, the government announced here on Saturday.
|Negotiations between Kinshasa and CNDP Rebels to End Friday
VOA News - February 20, 2009
|Ongoing negotiations between the Congolese government and the political wing of the rebel National Congress for People's Defense (CNDP) ends today (Friday) in the restive North Kivu province of Goma. This follows a recent peace deal to end the long time hostilities between the national army and the rebels which has left scores dead and a sharp increase in the internally displaced persons.
|DRC Refugees Continue to Cross Sudan South Border
VOA News - February 17, 2009
|A growing number of Congolese refugees are crossing the border into south Sudan, trying to escape attacks on their towns and villages by members of the Ugandan rebel group the Lord's Resistance Army.
|End of Ebola outbreak
WHO - February 17, 2009
|The Ministry of Health of the Democratic Republic of the Congo (DRC) has on 16 February 2009 declared the end of the Ebola epidemic in the Mweka and Luebo health zones in the Province of Kasai Occidental . The last person to be infected by the virus died on 1 January 2009. This is more than double the maximum incubation period (42 days) for Ebola.
|DR Congo, Rwanda accomplish 65% of joint military operation
XINHUA - February 15, 2009
|The joint forces of the Democratic Republic of Congo (DR Congo) and Rwanda have accomplished 65 percent of the military operation against Rwandan Hutu rebels, dealing a heavy blow to the insurgency, according to the Congolese government. Communication Minister Lambert Mende unveiled the achievements in the capital Kinshasa at a press conference, saying the government is totally satisfied with the joint military operation which has not caused any civilian casualties.
|Officials: LRA Threat 'Gravely Reduced'
VOA News - February 15, 2009
|Officials say Ugandan rebels who have terrorized central Africa are getting weaker in the face of a regional military offensive. A spokesman for the joint military effort, Captain Deo Akiki, says the Lord's Resistance Army's capacity to kill and abduct people has been, in his words, gravely reduced.
|Air Raid Kills Hutu Militia in DRC
VOA News - February 13, 2009
|Army officials in the Democratic Republic of Congo say an air raid has killed more than 40 Rwandan Hutu rebels. The Thursday strike on the camp where leaders of the Democratic Forces for the Liberation of Rwanda were meeting also wounded several other rebels.
|Many Congolese Flee to Southern Sudan
VOA News - February 10, 2009
|Thousands of people fleeing rebel attacks in the northeastern DRC are seeking safe haven in South Sudan. Members of the rebel Lord's Resistance Army of Uganda have been attacking towns and villages in Orientale Province, killing at least 900 people. Humanitarian agencies have been trying to determine the number and location of the displaced people in the province.
All news pages


text:
Karen Hanley Colbert
"Dark Architecture #10"
Biography: KAREN HANLEY COLBERT
Delray Beach, FL
Like so many others, I grew up with one type of camera or another in my hands but never pursued it artistically. Rather, I concentrated my career within the accounting industry. In 2009, newly retired and living in the Northeast, I could not shake off the cold so my husband and I moved to Delray Beach. In the spring of 2010 and with plenty of time on my hands, my unsung love of photography re-surfaced and I started to get serious by taking Fine Art Photography classes locally. I pushed myself into my creative life as I now know it.
In the years...
< back


text:
Every morning, I make coffee, turn my computer on, and open the balcony door and throw out a handful of sunflower seeds for the house finches. There's a lot of them; sometimes there can be ten or more at any one time. This is the only one I recognise because of the weird thing on top of her beak. She's also by far the bravest of the finches. She doesn't fly away when I stand up (my desk is near the door). She often perches on the metal bar on the balcony and looks straight ahead at the apartment. This, it would seem, is her way of telling me there's nothing but empty seed shells on the balcony. She's an ugly bugger, but she's my favourite. I call her Bullet.
One Response to 'Bullet'
There is nothing like be chosen by an animal or bird.


text:
Virtual Tour
3 unit building right off Rowan University Campus. Great location, walking distance to school, stores, and transportation. 2 units occupied. Unit 2 is not pictured as it was occupied at the time of the pictures. Detached three car garage in the back. Plenty of parking. Being sold strictly as is. Buyer is responsible for any inspections and approvals.
† Excluded Feature
See complete school information
302 N MAIN STREET, Glassboro, NJ, 08028 is a Multi-Family Home for sale at $245,000 with 2,690 sqft and a lot size of 1 X1. 302 N MAIN STREET was built in 1871. The property's zip code is 08028 which is in Glassboro, NJ
Based on 20.00 % down and a 4.13 % financing rate
Includes Mortage, Insurance, and Tax payments
Information deemed reliable but not guaranteed.
Information Deemed Reliable But Not Guaranteed. The data relating to real estate for sale on this website
appears in part through the BrightMLS Broker ReciprocitySM program, a voluntary cooperative exchange of
property listing data between licensed real estate brokerage firms in which Weichert, Realtors® participates, and
is provided by BrightMLS through a licensing agreement.
Real estate listings held by brokerage firms other than Weichert, Realtors® are marked with the Broker Reciprocity
icon (a little black house) and detailed information about each listing includes the name of the listing broker.
The information provided by this website is for the personal, non-commercial use of consumers and may not be used for
any purpose other than to identify prospective properties consumers may be interested in purchasing.
Some properties which appear for sale on this website may no longer be available because they are under contract, have
sold or are no longer being offered for sale.
© 2018 BrightMLS. All Rights Reserved.
Financial calculator disclaimer:
Default based on a 30-year fixed rate of 4.125% with 20% down. The estimated payment is offered for convenience and is not an offer of credit. Due to market fluctuations, interest rates are subject to change at any time and without notice. Your individual rate may vary. Rates may differ for FHA, VA or jumbo loans.


text:
We are Recruiting New Epidemiology Faculty
We are recruiting multiple tenured, tenure track, and non-tenure track faculty members at all ranks and levels. A new chair and dynamic faculty have recently bolstered the department's vision and opportunity for growth. The Department has nearly a century of history and is interested in highly motivated investigators with the methodologic and interpersonal skills to lead world-class scientific teams and produce new interdisciplinary connections, knowledge, and impact. Candidates with experience conducting observational research, as well as clinical and field intervention trials, are encouraged to apply. Enthusiasm for teaching and mentoring a new generation of scientists and practitioners of epidemiology will be advantageous. Interested individuals should review our job posting and may send queries to Dr. Mary Beth Terry at mt146 [at] columbia.edu or Dr. Charles Branas at c.branas [at] columbia.edu.
Our Work in the News
Our more than 150 faculty members publish nearly 1,000 scholarly articles each year, and we value the broad dissemination of their work. Communicating research helps ensure epidemiological discoveries are used to improve health. To review a subset of recent articles published by our faculty that have garnered significant media attention, please see Our Work in the News.
Our Conferences and Publications
The department also hosts various events including, Columbia University Epidemiology Grand Rounds (CUEGR), department seminars, and other special events. For details, view the department calendar. The Department of Epidemiology distributes content via email once every few weeks. If you'd like to receive our 2x2 publication and other department news in your inbox, please subscribe to our mailing list.


text:
There seems to be still a bug in Habari 0.5.2, related with Format::summary and $post->content_excerpt. More information about this can be found in the following mailing list thread: http://groups.google.com/group/habari-users/browse_thread/thread/d2565ef99c5b7d51
Basically the characters > and < are not handled properly by this function, thus outputting the error message "Notice: Undefined offset: 1 in system/classes/format.php line XYZ" and as a result of this, not being able to display the rest of the site properly.
I'm currently temporarely using an own function implemented into the custom theme class for compiling an excerpt of the content of the specific post till the next stable version is coming out, hopefully including a fix for this.


text:
This morning, NMS Communications launched LiveWire Mobile as a new brand for our mobile applications business. I'm leery of re-branding exercises but this was long overdue as our mobile applications business is substantially different and independent of our traditional developer focused business. Now LiveWire Mobile is operating as a distinct division of NMS with this new logo:
LiveWire Mobile focuses on mobile personalization services, including our well established ringback tones business. That makes LiveWire Mobile a market leader from inception, as our ringback tone service is deployed with over 30 operators around the world. The most recently new operator announcement also came today — it's Virgin Mobile USA.
Mobile Personalization
Mobile personalization services hit some years ago with ringtones and wall papers. Many think of ringtones as a content business, and yes, there is a content sale in many cases. But whether it's ringtones or ringback tones, the key motivation is the human desire to personalize our possessions and our environment.
Today, ringtones are widespread and revenue growth is slowing. However, ringback tones are still in the early growth phase, at least in Europe and North America. Ringback tone penetration is over 55% in Korea, but less than 10% in the US.
Besides the established ringback tones base, LiveWire Mobile has plans for additional network-based message and subscriber-focused personalization services — stay tuned.
UPDATED: Here's the link to a press release with more info (in PR prose...).


text:
Who We Are
Our Identity & Mission
Our History
L'Arche Spirituality
- Spiritual Life Statement
- Spirituality of L'Arche
- 10 Pillars of Spirituality
Worldwide Movement
- L'Arche International
- Jean Vanier
- Henri Nouwen
- 50th Anniversary
- L'Arche USA
- Charter of L'Arche
L'Arche Portland transforms the lives of people with and without intellectual disabilities by working together to create home, share life, and build community. Those with intellectual disabilities form the heart of our community and invite others into relationship.
L'Arche Portland believes in the power of relationships to bring community, belonging and genuine love to people with and without intellectual disabilities who share a common experience of isolation and loneliness.
We have two homes in SE Portland serving people with and without intellectual disabilities. We also engage with people in the greater Portland area who do not live in our homes but participate as they can in the life of the community. Beyond the daily life circle, L'Arche Portland serves an extended community of friends, volunteers and supporters in Oregon and all over the country, even throughout the world. L'Arche Portland is part of an international federation of 149 communities and 20 projects in 35 countries around the world.
People with disabilities experience disproportionately high rates of discrimination, poverty, poor mental and physical health outcomes, and marginalization. Our society does not recognize one of the most important needs of all – the need to belong. Belonging is a need felt by all people, but it is often neglected for people with intellectual disabilities. L'Arche Portland addresses this common need for belonging and the isolation and loneliness that people with intellectual disabilities face through our intentional model of fostering mutual relationships.
Our vision of disability is based on the simple, powerful idea that love, relationships, and belonging are essential to all people and that every person has the ability and responsibility to contribute.
Founder Jean Vanier fused friendship into care by breaking down barriers between the "helper" and the "helped" and replacing that hierarchy with one of friendship and mutuality. Vanier himself became transformed as he entered into authentic relationships with his new housemates. In his words, he became "more fully human". This experience is key to the international success of L'Arche communities.
Marilyn, one of our community members with a disability, may have summed it up best when she described L'Arche Portland as "a place where they want you." We are creating, day by day, a place of belonging, a place where people—with or without disabilities—feel welcomed, valued and loved.


text:
Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle is a winner! This programme has been the greatest mercantilism diet and fitness book on the Internet for individual age and has been sold-out in more than 130 countries. My personalized partiality opposed to e-books caused me to put in the wrong place at lowest two age of aware a fit and rose-cheeked fashion. For several ground I always material that thing that was active to labour for me as it incidental to weight loss loss (or thing else for that matter,) would have to come up in a more than old-world package, so I ne'er deem finance in a biological process and fare e-book. Boy was I wrong! Burn The Fat Feed The Muscle has not only helped me to be unable to find 30 pounds and outer shell and knowingness the unexcelled I have in years, but my attitude about my unit is completely contrasting. Let me harvest up on my own romance of questioning for that 'holy grail' of weight loss.
Early in 2007, time close up the way in my home, I exactly cloth exhausted; it was as nevertheless I was attempting to mount a peak with a icebox girdle on my support. My stamina were exceedingly sturdy and the merely entity I was truckage was myself- plus an bonus 20 or 30 pounds. It was later that I knew I had to do thing nearly the overstatement weight. I ready-made the declaration that I wanted to end the period at a weight that I would be warm beside and to be resourcefully on my way to dynamical my mode - to change state in good health and more fit became an fascination.
With this in mind, I began a heartfelt physical exertion to past and for all breakthrough a programme that would not merely aid me to miss the weight, but to aid me in winning the compulsory stairway to changeover my time. There is a aphorism that 'the tutor will occur when the learner is ready;' well, I was more than ripe. For the side by side various life I tired hours surfing the Internet and researching the most recent weight loss programs, alimentation plans, and workout routines.Post ads:
reperer logiciels espions / spy call blackberry curve / lorex wireless surveillance system / keygen pc tools spyware doctor 7.0 / recording call on skype / cheat my spouse
Well into my jut out over I began to concentration how few sites and programme were central on copious of the traditionalist approaches to losing weight, you cognize them all- fare pills, supplements, South Beach Diet, the Atkins diet, etc. Yet, others were action how blazing fat and structure twiggy contractor readily led to weight loss and much important- how to preserve it off. Something other that stuck out, approaching a rose-pink proboscidian in the intermediate of the sentient room floor, was how I was consistently upcoming cross-town this one e-book that was feat large simon marks in the several stories and reviews that I read - Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle, graphical by a nutritionist, thing detergent builder and in person tutor Tom Venuto. After whatever careful precaution I established to issue the author up on his finances fund underwrite and plunked lint the $37.00 for what I was overwhelmed to insight out was a rather extended e-book.
Now the largeness of this booklet is adequate to startle off a person looking for a snatched weight loss mixture. It is comprised of 17 chapters/ 340 pages of the maximum thorough, honest, and down to terrestrial planet reports that I have ever read on the subject of the intricacies of nutrition and fittingness. It not only explained how to put into result a individualized diet and have program, but it goes into particulars on how to set down-to-earth goals and the art of self-motivation.
His sensitivity into why most populace ne'er manage their optimal weight and suitableness flat is well-balanced near a sight of fat loss methods and secrets that were once familiar only to bodybuilders and models. After my pilot reading of his manual, I sooner or later comprehended that finished steady workouts and the construction of muscle tissue my article would mechanically blush more than calories than what I was consuming on a day-after-day proof. The figures and strategies on nutrition were different but realistic, and did not ask me to hunger myself or intake foods that were cheesy and tasteless. It was a relief to cognise that as weeklong as I was ingestion the letter-perfect types of foods, I would not have to compute calories, and the fine-drawn muscles that I was nascent would flare up fat (calories) even as I slept.Post ads:
how to record the phone conversation / cheating on sat and act / elizabeth weil no cheating / react if husband cheating / record phone conversation mobile / is my boyfriend cheating on me quiz
What I similar to utmost going on for Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle is that Tom Venuto tells you unswerving up that his system is not one of those "lose 20 pounds in the adjacent 48 hours" field solutions. I'll recognize that I wasn't prevail next to joy after I completed that this was truly active to sought numerous unyielding toil and fidelity on my cut. However, I truly esteemed his guilelessness in communicating to the scholar that lifelong weight loss was going to could do with a life style change; furthermore, organic process and the precise opinion to a physical exertion schedule went hand in appendage. Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle is troubled next to examples of solid people, in all age groups, who have departed through with the trials and tribulation, of troubled to put in the wrong place weight. Reading a realistic go yarn was outstandingly encouraging; the happening tough by these 'regular people' stamped on my worry that I too could get the grades I was want.
If location is a drawback to this publication, its that Tom delivers what seems like reams of gossip on fat loss, nutrition, aerobics, weight and influence training, and the rational aspects of it all. However, general rumour and methods is what is absent in most of the some other products and work. It may appear a bit overriding at first, but cognise that what you have at your fingertips will assist you to revise how to be flexible, instrumentation relating to diet strategies, use properly, and to finally get on the highway to restored fat loss, suitableness and eudaimonia. This is what you are inquiring for, right? The goodish entry here is that the the paperback of subject matter restrained in Tom's autograph album will permit you to force down all the different books, programs, manuals and other chaffy materials to the on the side. This truly is the "only instruction manual you'll of all time condition."
Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle has been the top marketing fare and suitability baby book on the Internet for one aim sole - it works! It is up to you to publication it and appropriate dealing. If you are vital nearly effort rid of the complementary fat and are blear-eyed of the "yo-yo" diet and you outward show forward to the day when you know you are hygienic and fit , I advise that you appropriate a air at Burn The Fat, Feed The Muscle.
Believe me, this e-book is worthy every subunit (I would not inhibit to pay twice as so much) and you get a thicket of good bonuses. Go for it; you can do it!


text:
There is no doubt that the electric garage door openers are a true blessing for the contemporary house owner. The modern devices are made to be strong and durable, however they have actually to be changed eventually.
When to Change It
There are numerous significant factors for garage door opener replacement. The first one is damage beyond repair. In this case, you have no choice however to get a new gadget. The other significant factor for replacement is damage which is too expensive to repair. In this situation, replacement will be the more cost-effective alternative.
You ought to absolutely get a new device is the existing one is too old. The new opener will be operating more efficiently and more safely and this will certainly bring a range of advantages including cost savings on garage door maintenance and repair. If your present operator has actually ended up being out-of-date, you can get a new one which is better in every regard. After all, any investment in the protection of your household and your home or business will pay off.
The best ways to Change It
You need to choose the kind of gadget that you desire. The conventional choice is the chain drive garage door opener. It is reputable and durable, but it is fairly noisy and needs frequent upkeep. The belt drive operators work on the exact same principle, but they are a lot quieter due to using a belt instead of a chain. You need to guarantee that you will get a tough model. The screw drive operators fall in the middle of the scale for quietness. They require basic upkeep only and are understood for running efficiently even in the long term.
Last, however not least, make sure that you pick a replacement device from a credible brand name like Chamberlain, Genie or Wayne Dalton.


text:
Teaser Tuesday
February 5, 2013 | Teaser Tuesday
A fresh peek from the new and improved Dalila's Choice
Dalila forced herself to uncurl. There was no way to leave. Her ship was damaged. Dex needed to heal for several more days, to say nothing of the twins' need to mate. The least she could do for the brothers was to relieve the ache of desire. She owed that much to the men, who'd saved her life, and rescued her vessel. Is it so wrong for me to be excited by their kindness?
Dex rested comfortably, but Kel waited. His anticipation pushed at her—a palpable presence in the confined space of the makeshift shelter.
She took a deep breath, gathered her courage, and rotated to face him. Her gaze refused to rise from the intimidating maleness of his reproductive equipment as she knelt between his splayed legs.
His being conscious took away some of her freedom to explore and made her tentative. He'd already stripped off the small garment and was gloriously nude. The long column of his rigid penis and the potent sac of testicles were exposed.
She gathered her courage, lightly touching his strong thighs. The coarse hair teased the pads of her fingers. An electric connection sparked to life, telling her of his hunger. Along with the powerful need rode fear— of her. She blinked and froze with shock.
His vulnerability, carefully hidden behind his gruff manner, was revealed by direct contact. Amazingly, he felt as uncertain as she did. His emotions were stripped bare—completely open to her. She excused the invasion of his privacy as information she needed to soothe his distress.
His yearning to mate, his pain at being classed as ineligible, echoed her own secret longings, astonishing her again and flooding her with an overwhelming need to ease his troubles.
Honesty made her name the urge to breed with him simple lust. Yet that wasn't quite right. There was nothing simple or easy about her response to the fierce brothers. Kel's touch set off small fires of long-suppressed desires.
With each contact, those inner blazes grew hotter. Now the raging wildfire of need roared out of control, threatening to consume her.
Vainly she wished that she had the broad hips and generous breasts of a breeder. How primitive and glorious to take him inside her body, and then to grow and swell with his child.
She set aside the problem of her unsuitability for the moment, but her conscience still nagged. What about Dex? I was compelled to ease his need only minutes ago. What does that say about me? How can I yearn to breed with two men? How can both of them want me? Yet, at least physically, clearly they did.
Fresh passion washed through her—thick and heady. The delicious musky fragrance of Kel's aroused genitalia would have shaken any woman with a heartbeat. Dalila was not an exception. His tantalizing nearness, body heat, and seductive scent threatened to sweep away everything, other than the need to bring him pleasure.
She started slowly, making herself meet his dark eyes. And then she did the scariest thing she'd ever done. She let him see her vulnerability.
His big rough hand touched her face with surprising tenderness.
She braced her arms on his heavy thighs, leaned closer, and brushed her lips across his. She tasted his sweetness, hunger, and fear of rejection. Stunned all over again to find him as unschooled and unsure as she was, she explored more brazenly—learning his body. She memorized his responses, lingered, and repeated any caress that elicited a low groan. Finally leaning closer still, just short of touching his bulging thighs with her sensitized breasts, she reached out trembling fingers and caressed the red skin stretched tight over his hard penis.
He shuddered under her gentle caress. She let go instantly, tucking her hand behind her and scooting away. Fresh shame flooded through her overworked veins, she was mortified for offending him. Plainly arousal didn't mean he wanted her help.
Turning her back to him, she rose and hurried from the crude shelter. Tears of humiliation filled her eyes as she ran. She never cried and she hated the show of weakness, especially in front of this fierce warrior.
She'd gone only a few paces when he caught her, wrapping his arms around her and drawing her hard against the inferno of his aroused body.
"I want you, little breeder," he crooned in his raw, rough voice.
The sound sparkled along her stretched nerves, soothing her fears and warming the moisture pooling in her most private place.
Kel, the mighty warrior, wanted her. She would've gone down on her knees immediately, except he held her tight.
"Tell me you want me."
She hesitated, her mouth dry and eyes dilated, barely able to form words—intoxicated by his nearness. "I want you so much it hurts."
Trembling and unsure what would happen next, she held her breath.
He fisted her long hair, lifting the heavy mass away from her back. His lips pressed a damp kiss on her sensitive nape. With exquisite slowness, he licked and nibbled around the side of her neck to where it joined her shoulder.


text:
Pro Gamers and Collectables
Shop 2
997 Western Highway
Ravenhall, Victoria 3023
Google Maps Pin:
Opening hours:
Mon to Wed 10am to 6pm
Thurs to Sat 10am to midnight
Sunday 10am to 6pm
Phone: (03) 8358 4899
Pro GamerS and Collectables [PGS for short] is Melbourne's funkiest, most innovative computer gaming, trading card, table top game, board game, roleplaying game and pop culture store.
Our welcoming, inclusive and casual gaming cafe is a haven for computer gamers, trading card players, board gamers, roleplayers, war gamers, sci-fi and fantasy enthusiasts, and collectors of Funko products, pop culture posters and trendy trinkets.
Feel free to meet your friends at our store anytime we're open, join our scheduled meetups or enter our weekly tournaments.
Our most popular games are Magic the Gathering, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokémon TCG, Cardfight: Vanguard, Force of Will, X-Wing Miniatures, Star Wars: Imperial Assault, Warhammer Age of Sigmar and 40k, Dungeons and Dragons, and many MANY board games. The most popular PC games we play are Overwatch, League of Legends (LOL), Hearthstone, Defense of the Ancients 2 (DOTA 2), Counter Strike: Global Offensive (CS: GO), World of Warcraft (WOW), Minecraft and Team Fortress 2 (TF2).
We also stock Citadel paints and accessories; Ultra Pro, Ultimate Guard, KMC, Dragon Sheild, Mayday and FFG sleeves, folders binders and deck boxes; as well as DC, Marvel, Image and Dark Horse graphic novels.
We endeavor to keep our website up to date, but please contact us to make sure we have the items you want, or pop in to see the many products we stock that are not listed online.


text:
Many patients enquire rapid teeth straightening in about six month. Please find reviews of this type of orthodontic treatment.
See also: Learn About Invisible Orthodontics | What is CFast? | Before & After Dental Braces
Patients are often asking us for reviews of the six month braces that we offer here in the practice. We thought this blog post was opportunity to post some before and after photographs and reviews of these six month smile orthodontic technique. This process of moving teeth is unique in its ability to move teeth with fairly severe rotations and unevenness in a short period of time.
Six month braces review number one.
This patient disliked the fact that the canines (I teeth) seems to be too short. This shows in the patient's mouth as lack areas underneath these teeth. The front for teeth were also misaligned and overlapping somewhat. It was therefore decided that treatment with six month braces would be a good way of starting out.
After six months of wearing the ceramic braces this was the result.
You can see that the smile has straightened up significantly and all of the teeth are now in line. One thing to notice is how the gum margins lineup, in the before photograph when we reviewed this treatment you could see that the gum margins were not even. Reviewing the six month braces treatment afterwards it can be seen that the gum line is now equal and even between all teeth.
Six month braces review number two.
As is clearly seen the patients upper left front tooth was quite severely rotated and twisted.This often presents a concern to patients as it clearly affects the athletics of the patients smile. However it also means that crooked teeth are more difficult to clean as getting a toothbrush or floss into these rotated areas can be somewhat awkward.
Once again after treatment with braces for six months you can see that the teeth are now nice and neatly in line. Sometimes the patient requests teeth whitening after we have finished the six month smiles treatment, however as in this case this is not always necessary.
Smilemore Dental Caren has a special interest in orthodontic therapies with the six month braces treatment options. If you are interested in 6 Month Smiles, then we offer a free consultation for this treatment, please follow the appropriate links on this webpage.