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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-352749112018-09-17T00:37:02.652-04:00The Silence of Our FriendsThanks for dropping by. Read, post a comment, or send me an email at dmj618 at gmail dot com with any questions, suggestions, or gossip. Lurkers, go ahead, make a comment or two, I double dog dare ya!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-439331421112618002010-05-05T00:35:00.002-04:002010-05-05T00:55:14.996-04:00Dear FriendsHi everyone. Although I am still financially shaky, I think I am headed in the right direction, and I know there are so many other people and families who are worse off than we are now. I have been hearing from some of them, and feel so sad that I'm still in such bad shape that I can't help them, except by sending my love and best wishes, and by posting it on my blog to spread the word. If you have a few dollars to spare, please consider donating to two of my dear sisters.

The first is Aaminah, she has suffered a terrible loss, the father of her child has passed away. He was her love, her friend, and her confidante, they were making plans for the future and now he is gone. She wants a lasting memorial and has chosen a design she wants tattooed. Please read more of the story and consider contributing here: Our Sister's Tattoo. She has raised $175 so far and only needs another $75 to reach her goal.

The other is BFP, her tired old computer finally bit the dust. Here she is, the most amazing writer the internet has ever seen, without a computer to keep on writing! What good is the world wide web without her, I ask??? She has raised quite a bit, but still needs about $450 to get her a decent computer instead of one held together with spit and duct tape. If you have the means to help, please consider contributing here: The BFP Computer Fundraiser.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-46692846646903701852010-04-29T21:02:00.005-04:002010-04-30T01:25:27.736-04:00The Silence of Our FriendsAs most of you know, I had taken a partially involuntary but somewhat needed blog break to try to get a handle on my out of control life. It's still out of control, but I do see light at the end of the tunnel. The runaway train is on an incline and slowing down just before the edge of the cliff! (I'm such a drama queen; truly more dramatic, and more queenly than SylbiaKitteh, if you ask me. But no, I'm but a shadow to the true drama queen of all drama queens...BlackAmazon!)

Anyway, so now I'm back, and trying to catch up a bit. Then I make the mistake of reading the blog at Bitch Magazine, where Jessica Yee has made the mistake of accepting a guest blogging stint. Oh Gawd! Jessica wrote a snarky post about hippy/hipster cultural appropriation, and the white folks got angry and defensive. How dare she spoil their fun at playing Indian dress up! And of course there was no moderation, so it was a privilege and entitlement festival. I did the best I could to give Jessica some back-up, but it took a lot out of me. After days and days of this bullshit I was alternating between shaking with rage and crying from the futility of it all.

I wish I could say this is something new, but it's old, so very old. It's always the same thing with these so called liberal white feminists. What always gets to me is the silence of our friends. I wouldn't have named my blog that if it wasn't the one thing that hurts the most. Every time, these liberal whites who claim to be anti-racist suddenly are no where to be found when they are needed. When push comes to shove, they side with the power, they side with whiteness. They do one of three things:
---If they say anything it's, "Stop making a fuss." or "Get over it." They have to hush us, because we're making their white friends uncomfortable. And the comfort of the white people always comes before anti-racism.
---Or they completely ignore it, they pretend they didn't see what is happening. You won't see the white feminists discussing this at Feministing, Pandagon, or Feministe. Nope, no one from those blogs saw what was happening at BitchBlog.
---Or they are just so surprised and shocked when racism happens they don't know what to do! This was the excuse that the moderators at BitchBlog used. It's funny how they know what to do when a sexist troll comes along, but racist trolls? Gosh! It's too difficult to tell them, you can stop or you can leave.

When I first got online, I thought maybe these people are so sheltered they don't recognize racism. I don't believe that anymore. They know what's going on and they are sitting back debating whether they want to side with the powerless. And they decide that no, they won't get involved, they don't want to upset the important (white) people. No biggie, the brown folks are used to white people riding roughshod all over them anyway.

Watch it in action. I want you to watch a video over at youtube. It's about 8 minutes long. In the video a black woman is shopping at a boutique in SoHo and the sales woman and security are BLATANTLY racist towards her. The ones who are most likely to jump in and defend her are other POC, the white people pretend they don't see whats going on, or are simply shocked and don't know what to do (yeah, right, but they keep right on shopping), or they side with the white person ("I bet she used the race card"), or it's not their business.
There are only two instances where white women have a different reaction. The first, a white woman does everything in her power to deny what she is hearing, until she can no longer deny it, and then all she does is break down into a puddle of white woman tears. Those mean people made her witness racism! They busted her post-racial color-blind bubble! But she didn't do a damned thing about it, did she?

The second, a white woman defends the black woman (and her white friend is kind of along for the ride). She stayed and witnessed it all, she loudly protests what they are doing to her, only leaves with the black woman, so, as far as she knows, protecting her from some trumped up charges. Her actions are what finally pricks the consciences of the other white people and many leave the store with them. See, POC don't know racism, so white people need other white people to tell them when something racist is happening, or they don't give a damn what POC think, but care very much what other white people think.

How much you want to bet that every one of those white people would say they are anti-racist? This is SoHo, artsy liberal hipster country.

The only anti-racist was that last woman. I know most POC will go our entire lives without meeting someone like her. We go through racism every day of our lives and all the "anti-racists" around us always have the excuse that they're just surprised by racism and so of course they can't be expected to do anything about it. Considering how many white people I know who insist, INSIST, that they are anti-racist, witnessing white people stepping in without any prompting, like this woman did, should be a common occurrence. It is so unusual that I always cry when I watch that lady in action. I can't watch that video. It hurts knowing that what should be a normal reaction is damn near a miracle.

That ABC News crew got damn lucky she was in the store that day, otherwise they wouldn't have had any white person who would actually defend the black woman at all, just one in a hundred who will shed a tear when they have to witness racism.

This is what is meant by "the silence of our friends", this is the same thing that white liberal feminists do to us all the time. But they can't understand why we don't want anything to do with them or their "feminism". Watch, watch the next time there is a racist flare up in the blogosphere. At the blog it's happening at, there will be mostly WOC defending each other, a small minority of white women also speaking up, the blog owners and or moderators will do nothing, or flail uselessly late in the game, or worse defend their white friends. Oh and at least a couple white liberal men will do their white knight act, come charging in to help the defenseless frail white women from the brutish WOC. And the other big feminist blogs? Twiddling their thumbs and studiously avoiding seeing or saying anything just like most of those white shoppers in the video. Their "intersectionality" consists of pretending they care about us, for appearance sake, white people are all about appearances, but actually fighting against racism? HAHAHAHAHA You have got to be kidding!

Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-77632296778051391392010-03-23T18:50:00.002-04:002010-03-23T19:26:12.677-04:00What is wrong with you internets???OR...Is it me???

I swear, today everything I am reading confuses me. For one thing on tumblr a lot of what I am reading is dialogues/conversations, and I can not follow. I can't tell who is saying what to who (or is that whom? Someone explain who and whom to me again, please.) And other bloggity stuff is just not making sense, as if it's not even in English, although it is. I hate that I have days where my brain no longer works, it's just putt-putt-puttered out. It reminds me, before my blogging break, I would be reading friends blogs or watching conversations in the comments, and think to myself, "These people are so far beyond me." I generally knew what the post/discussion was about, but couldn't quite wrap my head around the concepts. It's kind of scary. I know I was very bright when I was younger. I did well in school without even trying. I used to have a near photographic memory when reading. I'm serious, I could bring up a page I had read in a textbook weeks ago during my exam and "re-read it" to get to the part I needed to know for the answer. I no longer have this ability. In fact, if you ask me the plot of a book I read a week ago, might not remember it, or characters, or even the title and author. I've had moments when I have worried that people think I'm a liar because of my bad memory. I know that part of the cause is my meds, but I think part of it is getting older too, and that frightens me, because I worry about how much more I will forget.

And...back to the internets. Yesterday everything I read made me mad. I finally caught up on the Amanda Palmer (formerly of the Dresden Dolls) ableist, classist bullshit. Saw the lastest transmisogyny via Lady Gaga/Beyonce's Telephone video. And for some racism read up on Victorientalism in Steam Punk. Some days I wonder why I bother getting online!

So yesterday everything made me mad. Today everything confused me. I just can't wait to see how tomorrow's internets are going to screw with me!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-62735406927395789882010-02-11T07:07:00.002-05:002010-02-11T07:33:34.886-05:00Not so soon!I'm not gone after all...

My neighbor has been coming over about once a week to commiserate and I told her that my internet was gone. She had her husband open their wireless so that it doesn't need a password and I can "steal" it. While this isn't the best solution, since many times I get really bad reception that drops in and out, I won't complain!

Things are still pretty bad here, well, I guess not the most horrible but not that great is how I would put it. Mostly I'd rather not discuss it because I think everyone would just tell me I'm a dumbass. I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation and just feel like everything is a really bad idea and compromise, compromise, compromise. It's hard not to feel like a dumbass, and feel like everything is a mistake, when there are no real good choices, just bad compromises.

I mostly wish that life's paths were more predictable and laid out so that you could see what is the best thing to do, yeah, that 20/20 hindsight? I want 20/20 foresight! Instead I just feel like I am waiting for the next disaster so I can kick myself for making the wrong choices AGAIN.

Anyway...I'm going to catch up on email and blog reading while the reception holds out!Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-40478755577945380992010-01-29T11:01:00.005-05:002010-01-29T11:10:17.578-05:00Bye Bye!Just to let you all know that for the most part I am gone. I just don't have the money to afford internet access anymore. It's hard enough juggling the bills and making sure I have money for oil, gas for my van, and food, etc. I can still check email and the blog here from the library, but we aren't supposed to be online longer than an hour at a time, unless no one else is around who wants to use the computers, then we can stay on longer. Bleh, I don't like being online at the library really anyway.

Thanks to the couple of donors who sent money before Christmas. If it wasn't for you my kids wouldn't have had a Christmas! Hopefully within the next year things will be closer to normal and I can do more for them, and get my ass back online too.

I love you and miss you all so much!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-1210802704997181442009-11-07T21:12:00.004-05:002009-11-07T21:47:17.558-05:00Here We Go Again...I called the pain management clinic on Wed to tell them I'm running low on Vicodin. First, I have to explain, when you call the pain management clinic you only rarely talk to a real person, 9 times out of 10 you get the answering system. So anyway, I hear nothing back and so I call again on Thu. They get back to me but tell me that I'm calling too early for a refill (I'm only allowed 60 per month) and I'm actually due for a refill on the 9th, but being so "nice" they'll allow me to pick it up on Saturday. But I told them that's because the prescription changed, I used to be allowed up to 3 per day, but it was cut back to 2 per day. My current prescription was called in on the 7th of October and I wanted the next filled on the 6th of November. Since Oct has 31 days, I'm right on schedule. But too bad for me, my doc is gone for the day and already called in with instructions not to let me have it until Saturday. So I have to suffer one day without it...or so I think. Then I show up today for my prescription and who the hell knows where she called the fucking thing in at, since my pharmacy is completely clueless. They checked and rechecked and have nothing called in for me. I need that prescription to manage my fucking pain and I want it now and I am so sick of their God damned bullshit.

This isn't the only time they have screwed me over. One time I called in for a refill on my morphine on a Monday and nothing for two days. They tell you to give them at least 24 to 48 hrs turn around on prescription refills and to be patient and not keep calling. Well I finally called again on Thursday morning and hear nothing from them again. I call again on Friday morning and broke down crying on the phone begging for my meds since I ran out on Wed and was in severe pain. That's when they finally called it in and got back to me and apologized. The doctor approved my prescription all the way back on Monday and the fucking nurse "forgot" to call it in. What the fuck??? This is a pain clinic for people in severe chronic pain. You don't fucking forget about the meds they need to function!!! AND you don't fucking call it in to Mars or lord-knows-where instead of the person's regular pharmacy. Why the fuck can't I ever catch a break and have things go right for me?

Every God damned thing in my life sucks.Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-44871228565584043542009-11-05T12:18:00.002-05:002009-11-05T12:41:01.906-05:00Ha Ha HAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!My internet still works!

Does your brain automatically shut down when you find yourself in some kind of trouble? You would think it would be the other way around, your brain would be working overtime helping you come up with ideas and strategies for fixing the troubles, but instead, nope, stupidity sets in.

I'm asking because for the last couple days I come online to check to see if my internet is still working and go surfing around to read all the blogs I've been missing. There's some really great writing out there that I missed over the last few months. But I don't comment because I can't think of anything worthwhile to say.

I think this also explains my last few blog posts here, talking about shoes and sweets. That's all that's on my mind. I WANT TO BE SMART AGAIN! At least once in awhile...

By the way, I had lost 35lbs. Yup, even with eating the German chocolate cake. Nope, I didn't go on a diet. I just have been losing weight for no apparent reason. It's stopped for now and I gained 5lbs back, but I think that's all water weight from the edema. I hope I can get rid of the edema. I really don't want to live with giant feet for the rest of my life. My doctor won't give me more water pills or change the ones I'm taking now (hydrochlorothiazide). So we're not really doing anything to get rid of it except I'm supposed to be watching my salt intake. I could probably do better at that, although I have cut back, but haven't given it up completely. Food would be nasty without any salt!

Also, I'm either going crazy or my cat is haunting me. Over the past few days I have had to jump to avoid stepping on her. I am walking along and just see her there in front of my feet and slam on the brakes, or hop over her, and then I realize, nope nothing is there, I just imagined it.

That's all I got today.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-17674512426809815692009-10-31T20:28:00.003-04:002009-10-31T21:22:57.158-04:00I'm Still Around But...I BETTER TALK FAST BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT!!!!!!!!!

Doesn't that sound so dramatic? I'll give you something that really sounds dramatic, go here and press the play button. That right there is the soundtrack to my life.

Anyway, things are still one big super dooper crapfest in my life, but I manage to keep on keeping on every day by thinking and doing stupid and weird things. It's better than dwelling on how crappy things are, no? One of the weird things I have been doing is eating lemons, I don't know why, but I'm craving them. So I eat them like normal people eat apples or oranges. I bet I'm craving them because I HAVE SCURVY!!!!! (There I go with the drama again...)

Things didn't go so well in Connecticut. My oldest son got the flu the during the week, but was okay by the weekend, so we went. But I didn't think things through, my father couldn't see us anyway. I already knew that he probably shouldn't see my oldest just in case he was still carrying the virus, but didn't think about what if I or my youngest caught it and just weren't showing symptoms yet? My sister, who is a nurse, is the one who told me that. She said none of us can go see my dad, not if there is any chance we could give him the flu. Because of the chemo, his immune system is so weak that catching the flu could kill him. AND...it rained all weekend so no Six Flags for the kids. I felt so bad for them, everything in their lives has been shitty for the last several months, I wanted them to have something good happen for once. They are such good kids they deserve something good in their lives but all they get is disappointment. For example, wouldn't you expect their grades to be falling behind after all of this that they are going through? Instead I got progress reports last week and both of them are getting straight A's! My oldest struggles with his classes because he has autism, so generally he gets C's. This was a huge happy surprise for me. I wish I could do more than give him a hug as a reward, especially since he doesn't like hugs. LOL

I'll have you know, the baking continues! I did do the brownies and I plan on doing cookies tomorrow. I'm managing to do all this baking without burning anything so far *knock on wood*. One of the reasons I don't bake is that I have no patience, so I wander off and forget that I have something in the oven and end up with burnt baked goods.

I'm over the shoe thing though and I didn't even buy any. I'd really like an explanation for that shoe obsessed episode though, why would someone who normally isn't all that interested in buying shoes suddenly get the urge to shop for them?

Anyway, money is still tight and my husband still isn't helping much, so some of the bills aren't getting paid. That's the reason for the drama in the first sentence. I didn't pay for my internet this month so I expect it to be shut off, I don't know how long it takes them to get around to doing that though. So I better get my internet time in now and say what I want to say before *poof* I'm gone! I'm sure I'll still pop in occasionally when I get down to the library and let you all know that I'm still hanging in there.

*MWAAAAAH* sending you all smooches for being there for me!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-17549707860451683212009-10-16T02:09:00.003-04:002009-10-16T03:24:40.748-04:00Shoes and Cakes and More StuffFor the last month I've been obsessed with shoes. I want to go on a shopping spree and buy dozens of pairs of shoes. I don't know why! First of all, if you know anything about me, you would know that I don't spend much money and I especially don't spend much money on myself. The sneakers I wear almost every day I've had for 5 or 6 years and I bought them on clearance for $10. Another thing to know about me, I suffer from edema, this is swelling in the extremities. I have gigantic elephant feet. So the stupidest thing for me to do is buy shoes, because what the hell size do you buy when your feet are normal in the morning, start swelling by afternoon, and are gigantic by evening? Those sneakers I told you about? I have the laces loosened up on them for my fat feet, or else I wear a pair of slippers my husband bought me something like 10 or 12 years ago. Geez, why am I telling my readers any of this? I sound like such a frump, and you know what? I am! But this frump suddenly wants shoes! I want someone to explain this to me, why I would suddenly want to buy shoes out of the blue? I haven't acted on this impulse except to go "window shopping" online, since as you know, I am broke. Damn shoe stores want money for their shoes!

Anyway, that is about as deep as my thoughts go lately. Shoes! I don't like thinking of too much or else I just get depressed by it all. Shoes are not depressing, when you look at shoes you imagine the places you would go in them, and the things you would do in them. Dresses are like that too, but come on, imagine me in a dress? Let's not get ridiculous now!

I did do something else out of character today though, I baked a cake, it was German chocolate. I found out that neither of my kids likes German chocolate cake too. This means I have to eat it all myself! I don't know if that's good or bad. I really should not eat a whole cake myself, but damn, German chocolate cake is tha bomb! You would think I would have found out long ago what my kids like and don't like, but as I said, it's out of character for me to bake cakes or bake anything really. And...last week I baked chocolate chip muffins. The kids loved them and I didn't get ANY of them!

Now those of you who sent me money are thinking, just look at this travesty! I help the woman out and instead of buying wholesome foods she is baking sugary junk food! We got wholesome too! I've been cooking up soups and stews. We're eating salads and stir fry...and we get muffins and cake too. I think I'll do brownies or cookies next week. So thank you all so much, I was able to buy enough groceries for the past two weeks and I should be good for this week too. I also paid my youngest son's dentist bill so that I could get my oldest son in. By the time he got in to see the dentist his teeth weren't hurting anymore, so whatever was going on might not have had anything to do with his impacted wisdom teeth. He does still need to have them pulled. Our whole family has narrow jaws without the room for wisdom teeth. In another couple years my youngest will need to have his wisdom teeth out too. Hopefully I'll find an oral surgeon who doesn't need money up front and doesn't mind putting it on a payment plan.

My dad is doing well, the chemo seems to be working and his doctors are hopeful. He's also bald and the steroids are causing his face to swell. He's depressed about that, but at least he doesn't sound frightened anymore. Maybe he's just better about hiding his feelings. I don't know really. I plan to go down to CT to see him in two weeks. I hope that seeing us cheers him up. What is really nice is that my brother in law said he would pay for me to come down and when I told another sister that I was coming she said she would pay and take my kids to Six Flags for Frightfest. Things like that make me tear up. When you find yourself in a bad situation its easy to let negativity take over. It's easy to feel like everything is your fault and all your decisions are wrong and that you're stupid for all the things you should have or could have done differently and then maybe things would have turned out better. When you feel this way you also think that everyone will abandon a loser like you. Who the hell wants to be involved with a dumbass who is just gloom and doom and trouble coming and going? But it didn't happen, when I really needed it, there was always someone there to help. People have been there to listen when I needed to be heard, to pray for us, and have helped me to buy groceries, gas, and pay a few bills. I still spend most days sad, confused, and scared...but I also have those moments when I am grateful, happy, and hopeful. Thank you to everyone who has been there for us through this mess!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-44457024344793216422009-09-28T00:59:00.003-04:002009-09-28T01:34:19.758-04:00I really need help!I haven't wanted to be too pushy or to pathetically beg, but I'm doing really bad financially right now and I need help. My husband hasn't been giving me the full amount of court ordered support and a couple weeks I didn't get anything at all. At first I thought he was just lying and playing games, but now I'm not so sure. I really don't think he has the money to give and pay off all the bills too. I don't think he is lying about that. Since he's the one who paid the bills, I didn't pay close attention to a lot of financial stuff and so I didn't know how far in debt we were, I have found out that we are maxed out on our credit cards, so we only have what he earns to fall back on. Even so, I've been struggling but okay for the last several months because of the money I have been able to squirrel away, the amounts I've gotten from him, and the generous donations I had gotten from my friends online. Thanks so much everyone. But I need your help again, if you have a few dollars you can throw my way please click on the paypal button. It's a sad thing that I am grateful that we all lost our appetites for some time after my husband killed our cat because it made the groceries last longer, but not anymore, and this old mother Hubbard has to admit the cupboards are getting bare.

For those who don't know and are asking why I don't get off my ass and get a job, I have three herniated discs in my neck. I have finally found a good combination of meds so that I have been getting some relief from the pain, but I never really know when I will get a flare up and be unable to move without being in excruciating pain again. I'm also certain I will not pass a drug screen since one of my meds is Avinza (morphine) and another is Vicodin. Sure they are legal prescribed drugs, but how many employers want to take a chance on hiring someone taking high doses of opiates daily? I also have edema which makes my feet and ankles swell twice their normal size when I have to stand for any length of time. I'd also need flexible hours to keep all my doctors/specialists/therapists appointments not to mention appointments with lawyers and for court appearances in the next few months. Anyway, the short answer is, I have a few limitations that make finding and keeping a job difficult. I also fear that my husband and his lawyer would use it against me, so that he doesn't have to pay alimony, but as I mentioned, just because I'm going through a time of lower pain doesn't mean it will always be like this, I might have a flare up tomorrow or six months from now. I don't know when it will happen, I just know that it will eventually.

I'm sorry to keep asking but I do need help now. I'm hoping by the next court date I'll be able to get my husband's wages garnished or some other way to guarantee a certain amount of income which I can budget. I've been poor other times in my life and know how to budget on little, I just can't budget on nothing which is what I have now!Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-15571121255871654172009-09-25T03:15:00.003-04:002009-09-25T03:38:30.060-04:00Having another bad day, but what's new?This is all just so fucked up. I asked my husband about whether some of his counseling was for anger management, and he told me that his therapist had said that the family therapist asked her about that too. And she scoffed at the idea that he might even need anger management...you should have heard the tone of voice he was using over the phone when he said this. He was ready to blow his stack. Him angry? What a silly thing to even think! I know who the quack is, and it wasn't the family therapist. I mean, for God's sake, he killed the family pet! Is this normal behavior, happens all the time, in every family? What the hell is wrong with her when she can't see that he has a problem with anger and impulse control?

Earlier this month I took my youngest in to the dentist for his routine cleaning, he had 3 cavities. We have insurance, but it doesn't cover much more than the cleaning. He also had x-rays taken and flouride treatment, which isn't covered and the fillings are only covered at 50%. So I'm being billed for $170, I thought my husband would pay it, but he's not going to. I cancelled my appt and my older son's too until I can pay off this bill first. Now my older son tells me his teeth hurt. On our last visit the dentist did tell us that he needs to have his wisdom teeth out and that two of them are impacted. But my son didn't complain of any pain or anything so I thought it could wait a little longer. It looks like it can't. And our dentist won't do the work, she says we will need to see an oral surgeon for this. Where the hell am I going to get that kind of money? Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! The only one in my family who might have that kind of money is my father and it's really not a good time to ask him for help. I think he will be needing the money for his own medical care.

The kids are putting out applications to find jobs and I don't have the heart to tell them that it probably will not work out for them. We have one vehicle between the three of us and anywhere they work will be at least a 15 to 20 minute drive since we live in the middle of the damned woods. I don't know how we are going to juggle usage of one vehicle to get us all where we need to be going. I wish we lived in a city or at least a large town where walking, biking, or possibly public transportation is a viable alternative to driving.

All those cliches that say your life is shit kind of fit our life right now, from the frying pan into the fire, going to hell in a handbasket, etc. Fuck I just don't know what to do anymore. It used to piss me off so much when my husband would say things that made me feel stupid and like I can't do anything right. But now I feel like it's true because all my options are crap.Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-25232395057319127592009-09-21T01:34:00.002-04:002009-09-21T03:00:22.089-04:00Thank you so muchI've been meaning to write an update and a thank you to everyone who has given us their support.

Court went well. The restraining order was extended for a further 90 days with many stipulations. He is allowed to have telephone or email contact with us and allowed to be in our presence under certain circumstances, such as during counseling, this was one of the stipulations. But last week our family counselor dumped us. She said that his personal therapist will not work with her at all, and that she can't move forward, or know what to do without some knowledge of where he is at with his therapy. His therapist has also told my lawyer that she doesn't want to work with me, or have anything to do with the court either. And it's not like it's my husband who is dragging his feet on this one, he has given her his written consent and authorized her to speak to the family therapist and court. In fact one of the stipulations is that he won't get back into the home unless his personal therapist says that he is safe to do so, or in the case of divorce, he will need her to vouch for his safety to get visitation with the kids. So she's hurting him more than she is me, but since I had hoped that at the very least we could learn to be civil around each other, I am upset that we can't move forward with the family therapy.

She also said something that frightened me. She said that during their private sessions my husband has said some things that leads her to believe that he should not be in the home or anywhere near me. Because she can't talk to his therapist, she doesn't know if he is involved in any type of counseling for anger management, and that he is very impulsive when he is angry, and does what he feels like doing in the heat of the moment without considering the consequences. She is worried that I might say things during our sessions that will anger him, and he might have enough impulse control in front of her, but what happens after we leave? She thinks he might come after me and attack me if he is angry enough. That's why she can't be our counselor anymore, because she doesn't want to be responsible for that, and doesn't think we belong in counseling. We simply don't belong anywhere near each other and without the knowledge of where he is at with his personal counseling, we might never belong anywhere near each other.

He's still acting weird too. Sometimes he is so nice that I begin to believe he's back to his old self, other times he is playing head games and being vengeful. He's still playing games with money so that I'm never sure if we will have money for groceries and bills or not. Since there is a court order though, we aren't eligible for food stamps and are depending on him to pay up on time. He's skipped a couple of weeks and explained that since he has to pay the mortgage he didn't have enough for that week and that I'll just have to ask my family for help, and to budget better. The other times, our bills were the excuse too, for being late with the money and giving me only $100 for the week. I'm doing the best I can with what I've got, and can't thank those of you who have sent money through my paypal enough. You got me through some rough times and I was able to get what we need because of your help.

And...you helped me in another way you don't even know about yet. Nearly 25 years ago my father had a bout with cancer. He went through the chemo and radiation and it kicked his ass, but he was a tough one, and went into remission. Since then he's had skin cancer several times, each time it's caught early and removed. He goes every year for a thorough physical at his doctors office. This year they did a full body scan, I'm not sure what that means, but whatever it is, they found out he has cancer again. He has an aggressive lymphoma and has 6 tumors, one about the size of a tennis ball on his small intestine. He has to go through the chemo and radiation again, and he's not so tough anymore, he's in his mid 60s and diabetic. They are only giving him a 50/50 chance that it will work. If it doesn't work, he only has a few months to live. Anyway, without your help, I wouldn't have been able to go visit my father. I was there last weekend to spend some time with him and let him know that I love him. Thanks so much for giving me that opportunity.

I do have a bit of good news. I've had some of my meds switched, I ran out of Robaxin a few weeks back and didn't have the chance to get it refilled for a few days, and there was no difference. I told my doctor this and since it's not doing anything we dropped that med, and I was put on Flexeril instead. That one is working! Both meds are muscle relaxants, and I was so stressed out that the muscles in my back were in knots. Seriously, you would think I work out if you felt the muscles in my back because they are so hard. The Flexeril loosened that up, and since it was causing some of my pain, the pain has come down a few notches. I'm not pain-free, but I am doing much better. It is such a relief to be able to do something like laundry, without worrying that I will cause a flare up that will have me laid up in bed crying from the pain for days. I am so happy to be able to move around without that terrible pain all the time. The rest of my life might be a train wreck but at least I've got that!

Thank you again to everyone. Thanks for all the prayers, kind words, and donations to keep us going. I never wanted to ask for financial help because I always thought that my husband needs to take care of his family. He should love his children enough to do right by them and should be ashamed that I have to go begging to my family, friends, or the state to provide for us. He has no shame though. He hates me more than he loves our kids. I do still need as much help as any of you can give, I just can't count on my husband to take care of us, and right now I have less than $30 and that will need to go in my gas tank which is close to empty. After that, I got nothing for anything else we might need. The only good thing about this is that after the 90 days is up, this will look really bad for him, and hopefully the court won't just order support, but will garnish his wages so that he can't play his games with me anymore.Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-92039482468077888222009-08-11T20:13:00.002-04:002009-08-11T21:09:26.098-04:00Please pray for usThings are very bad in my life right now. About a month ago my husband and I had what I thought was a minor argument, which he decided to escalate into a major argument. It ended with him shooting our cat. We've had that cat for 10 years and loved her so much. Afterwards, my husband just sat there smiling, while the kids and I were hysterical with grief. I had never seen him like that. He had been drinking heavily, he's an alcoholic. He's been an alcoholic for at least 15 years out of the 20 we have been together, but it had gotten progressively worse. He was drinking 60 beers a week at least, and sometimes bought a bottle of whiskey too.

The next morning I made a police report and went to court for an order of protection, a restraining order. I was so relieved when it was granted. But time is running out, it was only good for 30 days, and then we go back to court on Friday. I don't want him home.

He's done other things since then, he canceled my credit cards, and he emptied out the bank account. He didn't just take the money, he also took the overdraft protection. Our balance is -500. I had to go to social services and get emergency food stamps to keep us going.

I had thought that maybe after time has gone by that he would come to his senses, that somehow we could get him psychatric care, into a substance abuse program, and get family counseling, but I don't think so anymore.

I talked to his sister, she says he's not sorry for any of it. About leaving his family with nothing, he says, "The gravy train has come to an end." He doesn't think he has any responsibility to take care of his family. It's like we've only been a bunch of deadbeat roommates mooching off him for the last 20 years. Nothing I've done counts for anything. I am a good mother. I was a good wife. I loved taking care of my family and home. But none of it counts for anything, we're nothing to him.

He's still so angry and vengeful, and I don't understand. I did nothing wrong. The minor argument? It was because I wouldn't take a phone call from his niece. I wasn't feeling well and didn't want to talk on the phone. He flew into a rage over that, told me that I will do what he tells me to do or he will divorce me. All this because I didn't want to talk on the phone.

I'm so afraid that the court won't extend the temporary restraing order, or grant a permanent one. I don't know what he will do to us if he gets back in the house, and I've been told not to leave. If we divorce he will get the home if I abandon it. I don't know what to do, I am afraid for our safety if we stay, but I need our home for our children.

If you believe in God, please pray for us, at least send good thoughts and wishes if you don't. I've had many other difficult times in my life, but I've never felt so terrified and desperate as I do now. I wish we could just run far far away from him and start a new life somewhere else, where we can be safe and happy, but we can't. So please pray for us.Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-16566393481973927862009-05-30T19:16:00.003-04:002009-05-30T19:17:53.343-04:00Ilyka, where are you???ILYKA! WHERE ARE YOU!!!??? COME BACK TO THE INTERTUBES!!! EVERYONE MISSES YOU!!! DON'T MAKE ME CRY AND GUILT TRIP YOU SOME MORE AND AND AND USE ALL CAPS AND EXCLAMATION POINTS!!! JUST COME BACK ALREADY!!!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-6821261453430179452009-05-08T18:42:00.014-04:002009-05-08T19:44:37.240-04:00Memorializing the Feminine Beauty IdealOver at Racialicious I came across a discussion of a photo shoot featuring Gisele Bundchen and several male models, black male models. I agree that the photos are definitely racially charged, and I also think they are racist, but opinions on that differ. The work as a whole is confusing, and I believe that is deliberate. I think the photographer, Sølve Sundsbø, may have had a few concepts in mind instead of one over-all concept. The one that really stopped me in my tracks was this one:

To me this photo is reminiscent of the Iwo Jima memorial of the Marines planting a flag. But that impression didn't seem to make much sense within the context of the other photos. At Racialicious only four of the eight photos are displayed, but they link to Project Rungay, where there are four more photographs.

There is a commonality to these photos, as well as the first one, that I see. Gisele is bland and emotionless. I do think that she is meant to represent a memorial, statue, piece of art. A common racist trope is that black men (and women) are beasts of burden. In each of the photos it can be interpreted that they are moving this piece of art to it's pedastal or display case. The reaction that people have to beautiful artwork is reverence, awe, and covetousness. I think the last two photographs have that in them. Another common racist trope is that white woman is the beauty ideal and what all men want, including black men, especially black men. I also think that the choice of body builders as the male models isn't coincidental, it is representative of hypermasculity and the nudity represents hypersexuality. These once again are common racist tropes about black men, but also represents a danger to the fragility and chastity/purity of the white woman.

This last photo, I am not sure what the photographer meant by it. The statue comes to life and covets the beast of burden? I had that song from Sesame Street in my head when I saw it, "Which one of these things is not like the others?"

In the discussions both at Racialicious and Project Rungay some people are quick to dismiss the racist aspect to the photographs. They say that the photos are beautiful, and that black and white skin makes for a wonderful contrast in the photos. I am not denying this, that some people will find the photos beautiful, interesting, and that the contrast adds to that. But offensive artwork done with skill can be visually beautiful and interesting. Many people collect and study war propaganda for one example because of the artistic viewpoint and rendering, as well as the social and historical commentary. I think that might be true here also, that these photos have a certain beauty, but that there is social commentary to be made and interpreted in them.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-28187019770984146132009-05-02T14:26:00.003-04:002009-05-02T17:27:25.884-04:00Pain and JudgmentI went and did it again. I took two vicodin so I could write a post. I am going to be so sorry when I run low before I can get another months supply. So I better get on with it before my pain creeps back up on me and I have to go lie down.

Okay I want to know something, here Renee at Womanist Musings writes for Blogging Against Disablism Day:
To talk about our pain is construed as whining. Someone will always come up with a story about a friend of a friend who had a disease similar to yours who took this herbal pill from Tibet or some mountain that you have never heard of and suddenly was cured and got on with their lives. More likely than not this friend of friend just finally got the message that talking about their illness was not cool and decided to be silent. You see we can talk about pain but only in terms of what we are doing constructively to get better and not about how much it hurts or hard it is emotionally. It makes people uncomfortable and so it is understood as easier for all if we would just be quiet. I know this to be correct because the moment you answer truthfully about how you feel the subject is quickly changed or silence ends the conversation.

I want to know why someone would be wrong to say to her:
WOC are born fighting and we die fighting. Acknowledge your pain and get the hell up. We cannot even afford to have one sister down for the count when there is work to be done.
 or
Seriously full of shit...
and you are completely hell bent in wallowing in pain...
So 40 years from now when you are still telling the world about your hurt what will you have accomplished? What proactive action will you have taken? Playing victim does not make anyone powerful...

Would it be okay for me to tell her she is curling into a fetal position and sucking her thumb in defeat? Should I tell her that she should refuse to be the eternal victim? Maybe she needs to put on her big girl panties?

Honestly, I agree with everything Renee says in her post about disability. I also suffer from chronic pain and my disability is invisible. So I don't actually want to say any of those things to her. What I am doing is repeating her own words to BlackAmazon. Here are the posts where I got the quotes from:
Questions
I started something really inflammatory
Big Girl Panties and the Cycle of Victimology

And recently Renee did this to someone again, Step It Up, Wimp!

This is the problem I am having, this is what I hate, not Renee, but the fact that it's okay for her to feel pain, write about her pain, expect sympathy and empathy instead of judgment, expect commiseration and understanding, make her own decisions about what is best for her, including resting, bowing out, taking care of herself first, but she is quick to judge others without knowing their circumstances or even very much about them at all. I really just don't understand why it's okay for her to decide whose pain is valid, when they have suffered and discussed it long enough, when they need to get up and fight, and choose their battles and priorities for them.

I did want to note something interesting, most of the people who agreed and were moved by the Big Girl Panties post were white, not all, but most. And again those who disagreed were POC, not all, but most. This goes to how white women are viewed vs. WOC. The stereotypical white woman is a weak delicate flower, white feminists are fighting against this stereotype, so a post telling them they are strong warriors will resonate. WOC on the other hand are stereotyped as super strong beasts of burden whose feelings don't matter, so being told quit bitching and keep on marching will grate.

And I want to note something else, about the post referenced by whirlwitch at Womanist Musings, Walking Away: The Luxury of an Ally. Walking away CAN be a sign of privilege. But there is a huge difference between someone telling you they are suffering, stressed, have too much on their plate, etc as the reason they walk away and someone who says, "I'm cis, transphobia and transmisogyny don't affect me, so why should I care? I'm walking away from this."

Also Renee states multiple times that trans people can't just walk away, she's both right and wrong. For one thing vriane, the woman she is castigating, can't escape transphobia and transmisogyny since she is a trans woman and the target of those oppressions, so Renee is right that she can't walk away from that...BUT vriane is talking about limiting her exposure to certain websites and news sources that are triggering her because she can't deal with that right now. That is what she is walking away from. This is very similar to what BlackAmazon was trying to explain to Renee. Since BA is a woman she can't hide from sexism or walk away from it, but she can walk away from useless white middle class feminism, and find better ways to spend her time, and other WOC to work with.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-44820581270493172872009-05-02T01:16:00.003-04:002009-05-02T02:34:09.911-04:00The day after blogging against disabilism day.I missed blogging against disablism day. It wasn't accidental though, it wasn't exactly purposeful either. There are times I want to talk about it, and times I don't. I didn't at first, but read some other posts, and now I feel like I want to. So my post is for the day after blogging against disablism day.

I am a disabled woman. It took me a long time to conclude this. I had hopes that my condition was temporary, but now I know that isn't true. If you are reading this you probably already know, I have herniated cervical discs with a bone spur which cause chronic pain that can have me laid up for anywhere from hours to days at at time. I've been having a particulary bad flare up since around Christmas time, I can't pinpoint an exact date, because my pain had been increasing and yet not steadily. People who have seen their doctor for pain know about "the scale", your doctor will ask you to rate your pain from 0-10. Last spring/summer my pain was anywhere from 0-3 with very short zaps up to 5. Now the scale is at 5-7 with zaps up to 9. It's out of control, because yes, the lowest my pain goes is 5.

ARGH! There is so much I want to say now that I don't know where to begin, and I'm worried that if I go down one avenue I will forget another that I meant to talk about, and that much of this will not make sense anyway, because my meds are severely affecting my memory and ability to concentrate.

One thing I want to say is that I lied about something. Right now my pain level is about 3...but I said the lowest it goes is 5, didn't I? WELLLL...the lowest it goes is 5 if I stick to the treatment plan my doctor expects me to. I am allowed 5 vicodin per day. I've taken 7 today though, in the last hour took 2. If I take that much it lowers the pain enough so that I can sit here and type up this post. Can you figure out that I think that my dosage needs to be adjusted? My doctor refuses, she has no other chronic pain patients and isn't comfortable adjusting it without some guidance. The one who was supposed to give her that guidance is an asshole "pain management" doctor who doesn't believe in giving patients opiod narcotics for pain AT ALL. She's upset because she wants to help but he won't give her any advice, so we decided to fire him. He resents being fired though, and even though I signed a release so that he should give up his treatment notes to my new pain management doctor, he is dragging his feet. He told them that I didn't sign a release, so now I have to go back to his office and sign another, and I have no doubt he will find some other way of screwing this up. Either by not sending, or sending incomplete notes, or writing something in there that will make me look bad and make my new doctor wary of treating me. My new pain management doctor refuses to make an appointment to see me until he has notes about my current/recent treatment. So I'm in limbo.

I also know my primary is worried about addiction, which is why she will not adjust my meds without guidance. Of course I worry about this too, but you know what? I worry more about being useful and having a life. If I stick to the treatment plan I can lower the pain enough so that I can move without screaming, but still have to just grit my teeth and get on with it as best I can. No one should live like this and especially when there are options and they don't have to.

When I was first diagnosed it was easy to treat. I was given a six day prescription of prednisone and my symptoms would clear about the third or fourth day in. I'd be pain free for up to a year. Then I'd get more prednisone for the next flare up, good to go again for up to a year. This stopped working about 5 years ago and I've been through numerous treatments and meds since then. Five years ago, when I knew it wasn't going to go away so easily I used to get suicidal thoughts. I simply didn't think I could handle living in so much pain for the rest of my life. But I had to hang in there, if not for me, for my family. They are what kept me going. Eventually I sort of got used to dealing with a certain level of pain, and my treatments/meds did help sometimes. So the hope was always there that things could get better.

Now I'm scared, because I'm getting the suicidal thoughts again. Nothing serious, like planning it out or anything like that. But I thought I was past that and now I know I'm not. It's that same hopeless, "My God, I don't think I can live like this forever." I don't want anyone worrying that I will actually carry through with it, it really is only a passing thought at this time, and I quickly dismiss it, but I don't like that I am thinking it at all. I'm not telling my readers this to get a pity party going or anything like that. I'm telling you this because it doesn't have to be this way. I already said that I am functional now because I doubled my dosage tonight. (I also doubled my dosage this morning which is why I was able to post earlier. This explains why I have had 7 instead of 5 vicodin today.) I wish doctors would listen to their patients, I'm not a drug seeker, and my doctor should know this since my dosage has gone down as well as up since she has been treating me for the past year and a half. I do want my dosage level raised now, but only for as long as it takes to find a non-narcotic treatment for my pain, then we can lower the dosage again or remove it altogether.

I guess this is the background post. It's getting pretty long so I'll conclude here for now and gather my thoughts for the next avenue I'm headed down.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-63259519122892262762009-05-01T08:10:00.002-04:002009-05-01T10:49:34.845-04:00Latest update on ME!I've got several things to say and several things to sort through. Hopefully I will say and sort them in a way that isn't too confusing!

First I just wanted to mention that I am sort of blogging at LiveJournal now, I just wanted to try a different platform, and one thing I like about lj is the friends/community aspect. The friends page is sort of like having a built in CSS reader so that you don't miss anything that is going on with your friends and communities who also blog at lj...unless you don't sign in to lj and check your friends list! Anyway, for anyone interested my lj is here:
The Silence of Our Friends - LiveJournal version
Go ahead, friend me, I generally friend back, but I readily admit I'm slow about it. It's only because I forget to check who has friended me that often. Don't worry, you won't miss anything since I haven't had any locked posts yet. But of course, I also don't want to miss what you are saying and need you on my friends page for that. So go ahead and poke me in comments to let me know to get over there and friend you.

There are a few things I don't like about lj, the first is threaded comments. I find them confusing and wish that lj would make it so that you can change preferences for that, at the very least have it so that you could "expand all". It would also be great if there was a way of marking which comments are read and which are unread. The last thing is, now that I make the move over to lj, everyone else is moving to DreamWidth! This is just my luck.

Ok, in general 'Donna News', I just got back from a vacation. It started out as the vacation from HELL, we got to the airport with over an hour and a half to go before our flight. We were flying Southwest, and they were badly understaffed. The line was huge to check our luggage and get boarding passes, but after an hour we did...and then we got into the line for security to get to our gate. That was also huge. We got to our gate just in time...to see our flight leave without us. We weren't the only ones, there were 8 passengers who missed that flight. Now think about this, we were checked in, they knew we were in the airport because we had boarding passes and our luggage is already on the plane, but they didn't hold the plane for a lousy 5-10-15 minutes to get all passengers on board. Now I'm not saying that an airline has to wait forever for every dawdling passenger, but they know they are understaffed and the lines are huge, their fault...they also see how long the lines are for TSA, not their fault, but certainly not the passengers fault either. Instead of waiting a few more minutes to board everyone, now they are stuck trying to fit us on other overbooked flights to get us to our destination. Now they have a bunch of irate passengers instead of pleased customers.

And...most importantly, our luggage is on that plane without us. I thought new security measures were in place so that this never happens. You see, one of the things terrorists do is put bombs in their luggage, check that luggage, and then don't get on the flight. So when luggage is on a flight without the passenger who checked that luggage, the airline is supposed to delay the flight and remove that luggage from the cargo hold. (Here is a related article about "Positive Passenger Bag Match" or PPBM from MSNBC.) They really do not give a shit about their passengers, or crews, just the schedule. And you know something, a plane does not travel at only one speed. It can speed up and slow down like most other vehicles. This means that even if a flight is delayed for 15 minutes, it will still likely be on time to it's arrival destination, the schedule is just fine!

We were there at the airport all morning and much of the afternoon, watching flight after flight take off without us. They kept telling us that maybe they could get us on the next flight and get a connecting flight from there. But no, all their flights were booked and no last minute cancellations. Finally we told them we want our money back and that we would see if we could find a flight on another airline.

So at home I'm working the computer trying to find us other flights, everything in NH and Mass was either booked solid or so overpriced we couldn't afford it. So we ended up flying out of Hartford, CT. Yeah we had to make a three hour drive to start our vacation. But back up a bit, we also had to cancel our car rental since we wouldn't be there to pick it up, and we had a one day stay at a hotel to cancel too. And of course we have to make a new car rental reservation, but the hotel situation wasn't a problem since the rest of our vacation was staying FREE at a timeshare my sister owns.

Anyway, so far we have heard from the car rental that they refunded our money, but I don't know if the hotel charged us since we had a late cancellation. And really I'm not sure if Southwest even really refunded our money or is pulling a fast one and giving us "credit" with Southwest for a flight at a later date. They mumbled something about that and we told them absolutely not, we will never fly Southwest again, but that doesn't mean they didn't do it anyway. Waiting on our latest credit card bill to make sure we get our money from them.

So we finally make it to Florida. The weather was gorgeous with high temps in the mid 80's to low 90's, and sunny every day but one, when it was mostly sunny but we had a few showers in the afternoon. After a long New Hampshire winter this was heaven. Of course I got sunburn, but it wasn't the really painful bright red kind, although now my arms and legs are all peeling. I hate that! My sister's timeshare is at Orange Lake Resort and the place is beautiful and very roomy even though there was 7 of us in a two bedroom. We didn't go to any of the amusement parks, we just can't afford it and really shouldn't have even gone on this vacation. All we did is run up the credit card. We had sunshine and pools to keep everyone happy, this is what we really wanted. The kids are teens so a trip to Disney doesn't thrill them anymore, although I'm sure they wouldn't have turned down a day or two at Universal. They met and hung out with lots of teens from all over and even have some of them friended on their facebooks.

After a bad start basically a great vacation. Although...I do have more. I'm just pressed for time right now and will either just end here or come back with the rest later, if I find more time. Oh well, I wrote a lot more here than I thought I was going to already!Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-88950421430630104532008-11-20T19:11:00.002-05:002008-11-20T20:11:22.051-05:00Transgender Day of RemembranceQueen Emily over at Sexual Ambiguities has a post up in honor of Transgender Day of Remembrance, please go read, "How to Mourn".

Little Light at Taking Steps reminds us of some statistics, trans people have a 1 in 12 chance of being murdered. Let that sink in. Understand why this day is so important. Read the rest, "The Quick and the Dead".

Monica Roberts at Transgriot has a list of names we must remember. She also has a more personal post, "Ten Years-400 Dead...and Counting" mixed with grief is hope.
But at the same time, I'm hopeful that with the increased media coverage of transgender people over the last year and a half combined with the upcoming change in presidential administration, we finally have the conditions in place to pass hate crimes and an inclusive ENDA.

They may be just laws to some of you, but for the transgender community they are literally life and death issues. They are symbols that we matter, our lives are respected and valued and when you read the 'We The People' in the Constitution's preamble, that includes transgender Americans as well. .

Piny at Feministe reminds us that everyone deserves to be remembered and honored in "Full Spectrum", not just those the mainstream cis people find "acceptable and non-threatening". The fact that anyone is unacceptable and threatening in any way might in fact be the reason so many are dying.

Read, learn, follow the links in the posts, and say a prayer not only in remembrance but for our future. We need to understand that we are all in this together and we need to love each other and care for more than our own narrow interests.Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-47742736056464598962008-11-19T23:34:00.003-05:002008-11-20T09:34:39.755-05:00The Race To The BottomI popped over to read at BFP's place where she has a post titled, Why we should stop conflating the "big 3″ with "Detroit". As always, it's an excellent post and you should go read.

Her first link is to a post Jill has up at Feministe, We shouldn't bail out Detroit.

I'm in agreement with BFP that you can't conflate the big three automakers with Detroit, first of all. And that we do have to bail them out, secondly. What people who are making the argument that we should just let a huge industry fail don't seem to understand is that it isn't just the one company that will go under. There are suppliers, and suppliers to the suppliers, and so on down the line. All of these businesses will suddenly have less money to pay their bills and their employees, they will lay off workers who will suddenly not have paychecks, they may not be able to pay their bills.
-There will be more mortgage defaults
-There will be defaults on other consumer loans (charge cards, auto loans, etc)
-Physicians, eye doctors, dentists, go unpaid
-Less groceries are bought
-Will the electric get paid, can heating oil be bought, water bill, trash pick-up?
-Cancel the cable, cell phones, no more restaurants, no more movies and other entertainment, etc

In other words there is a domino effect. First it is the auto workers, then it's the suppliers, then it's default on all sorts of loans (banks start laying off), then it is the businesses and service industry (these businesses go under), and we keep going as more and more people are laid off and more businesses go bankrupt.

This is why it's not just Detroit, just because their main plants are there doesn't mean those are the only ones. My uncle retired from Chevy in Buffalo, he earned his pension and deserves every cent. There are plants and suppliers in several other states and hundreds of cities and towns. I worked at a plastics plant in Meriden, CT that makes parts for Ford.

Over at Feministe there was one comment that made me so angry that I had to post. It was this:

# Sarah says:
November 19th, 2008 at 7:24 pm - Edit

I think the post hit the nail on the head with the comments about healthcare. No other major car-producing countries have to provide their works with health care. Health care is, undeniably, a huge cost for any employer. Also, while I am not advocating pay cuts or the low wages of foreign workers, I do think that there are plenty of people in this country who are overpaid. Like another poster mentioned, even an unskilled worker is expected to be paid $50,000 a year. Why on earth…? The reason people are losing jobs to immigrants is because they are asking for $15 an hour to pick apples while the immigrants will do it for $5. That's what the job is worth. Yes, I think that people should be paid enough to survive, but I think in some cases it's a little extreme. I think one of the unpleasant and ugly truths is that everyone, even assembly line workers, is paid too much in American auto companies. Not everyone belongs in middle America, and as far as I'm concerned, with only a high school diploma, there's no way anyone should be making more than $30,000 a year. Sound cruel? Then I wonder why other countries are flourishing. People need to be paid to work hard, not because the union says they need to be paid this much or that much.

This is why I titled the post, the race to the bottom. The conservatives have done a marvelous job spreading their anti-worker propaganda in order to see this kind of comment on a progressive blog. It also shows how dismal an American education is when people don't have the slightest clue about the history of labor in this country. We are headed right back to the 19th century, with the Carnegies, Vanderbilts, Duponts, and Rockefellers making millions while paying workers pennies with no benefits, 12-16 hr days, 7 days a week. Heaven forbid they want a living wage that allows them to own a home, a car, eat three meals a day, and have some enjoyment of life. No the greedy fuckers should be grateful with for whatever value their "betters" choose to pay, living 3 families to a apartment in a rickety tenement, with a loaf of bread to share amongst them for the day. Once the super wealthy have squeezed all usefulness from them and left them a broken husk they can just die. This was the way it used to be.

How about we consider something like...oh I don't know, maybe management take a cut from their hundreds of thousands to millions in pay instead, especially when the business is faltering? No fucking bonuses, stock options, or golden parachutes for top management when they drive the business into the ground?

And how about instead of lowering our standards to countries who do pay their employees pennies for a days work, we force them to raise their standards, or we don't do business with them or pay a tariff or surcharge for doing business with us. Fair trade instead of free trade, anyone? Instead of saying that union workers don't deserve decent pay and benefits, we say instead that all workers deserve decent pay and benefits. All workers deserve a chance at a better life.

But...I do agree with Jill that something has got to change, if it doesn't it is throwing money into a black hole. Since it's obvious the idiots running the big three won't do it on their own, make the bail out contingent on manufacturing what consumers want and need, fuel efficient and green technology. Tell them anyone who accepts the money must decrease their percentage of gas guzzling humungo vehicles and increase the percentages of both their smaller fuel efficient lines as well as electric, hydrogen, biodiesel, or other alternative lines.

One last thing, I'm not angry with Sarah for saying what she did. I am angry with conservatives for their anti-union, anti-worker, pro-corporatist, pro-uber-wealth propaganda. I am angry with the media and liberal politicians who aren't fighting back and calling it out for the bullshit it is. I am angry with our educational system that wants us to forget history and be mindless robots for the wealthy and powerful at our own expense.

Update: More on unions and the auto industry at Huffington Post.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-78246321957904914372008-11-02T15:57:00.002-05:002008-11-02T16:01:41.464-05:00Labor Takes On RacismHere's an excellent write up from Politico on how labor unions are confronting racism head-on amongst their membership to get out the vote for Obama. Labor confronts race issue in blunt terms

And OMFG, the AFL-CIO means business. This video should have gone viral. This is the world I want to live in. It moved me so much that I cried while watching. Please watch then pass it on!

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/7QIGJTHdH50&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/7QIGJTHdH50&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-88948274563813795192008-10-18T00:55:00.003-04:002008-10-18T01:08:05.698-04:00Oh Shit! HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!Lisa over at Questioning Transphobia is having financial difficulties. She's having a hard enough time pulling together enough money to pay her regular bills, but now her computer is dying too. Most of you know what an awesome writer she is, so it's bad enough that her posts at QT and comments at our blogs will be missed, but she also does some freelance work at home on her computer. She needs a computer badly! Yes this economy sucks for all of us and alot of us don't have much, but go over to her place and give what you can, PLEASE! The donation button is in the sidebar. Also spread the word at your own blogs, livejournals, social networks. Thank you. Now on your mark, get set, GO!Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-49300582554323815842008-09-21T16:46:00.006-04:002008-09-24T09:03:59.597-04:00Silly, cute, weird, funny....It's been months since I wrote anything here. It should be obvious I have writers block. I'm also tired of arguing, and negativity, and being unhappy. I'm also tired of politics. So what have I been doing when I do get online? In the past week I have been looking at anything silly, cute, weird, and/or funny I can find! And now, in order to get past my writers block, I will share my finds with you:

Most of my finds are videos, first for some cuteness...

The first is the Cuppycake Song, it's the cutest little voice singing with pictures of yummy cupcakes, because, I like yummy cupcakes. But if you don't, you can always watch the original video of the cute little girl recording the song.

I'm in 100% agreement with this kid. I don't really like you people, unless...

For my Latin@ friends, in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month. It's the One Semester of Spanish Love Song.

Want to hear more? You need to see and hear An Honest R&B Song, then! (Listen and watch the guy doing the background vocals, he's the best part.)

Update: even more! In comments Nadia recommends another "sexy" R&B song. It's Business Time!

KILLER KITTEN will horrify and terrorize you!

If that wasn't scary enough, ZOMBIES! SINGING ZOMBIES!

The internet disagrees with you!

Jesus wants you to ROCK OUT!

If you need to find out if your man is cheating then this is something that must be done...

A report on CNN about Lehman Bros bankruptcy, check out the guys behind the reporter.

This is getting pretty long. So I have decided I will break up my silly, cute, weird, and funny stuff into at least two posts, and maybe three. All these videos ought to keep anyone busy for awhile anyway (if anyone is still checking in here!)Donnahttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-17852811399697954472008-06-16T19:30:00.002-04:002008-06-16T19:38:37.346-04:00Gimme ShelterI'm listening to the radio on the way to dropping off the kids at school when The Rolling Stones Gimme Shelter comes on. I don't really like the Stones with the exception of a few of their songs and this one is a favorite, so I want to post a YouTube video and share it, but what do I discover? Holy crap! TeacherDude did the coolest slideshow to go with the song, he's an amazing photographer and even if you don't want to hear the song, you just have to see these photographs of Greece. I met TeacherDude through DeviousDiva at one of her chats. Speaking of which I haven't been to one of those chats in awhile and now I want to go today!

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/wg-GuTWX_6o&hl=en"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/wg-GuTWX_6o&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

I'd say, "Rock out!" but then you'd miss the slide show, so...SIT STILL! and check it out.Donnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-35274911.post-12902867998971421342008-06-14T16:17:00.001-04:002008-06-14T16:19:24.819-04:00Your Whiteness Is ShowingAnd you wonder why women of color have, for so long, thought (by and large) that white so-called feminists were phony as hell? Sister please...

Via RacialiciousDonnahttp://firstname.lastname@example.com


text:
|sam <samwun@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
|Tue, 15 Mar 2005 22:21:46 +0800
Matthew Dillon wrote:I read messages here every day. The mail box I used here is not used for ages, because it has full of spam emails and virus. Apparently I use another email account for official use. :)
:I have seen it with other *BSD's and other OS' - OS/2 notoriously so. :Controller/BIOS or cylinder issue, sometimes just driver sequencing. :Often not the same for initial installation as it is later.. : :Will explore those with Sam offline and get back... : :Bill
Except we fixed the cylinder issue by making the boot code use linear addressing BIOS calls when available (which should be always on any BIOS in the last 5 years).
Matthew Dillon <dillon@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Not to worry. Pretty sure it is a headspace or hardware issue of the sort you can't code around (unless you are into robotics).
Sam's mailbox is overquota at the moment, but I won't need robotics, he may be as close as 15-40 minutes from my flat.
Note the surname and ISP.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
FUSE will help you align your company's systems, both financial and operational, to maximize profits.
We believe that all the major systems of a business need to work in harmony — the organizational structure, the chart of accounts, the human skills, the tools and automation, and the operational work flow must all pull the business in the same direction.
Let us help you:
- Identify waste and redundancy
- Streamline operational processes
- Add automation to reduce costs & speed production
- Identify & measure key performance indicators
- Align financial processes for better reporting & forecasting
Let's Talk!
Fuse Financial Partners has been instrumental in building my business model. They brought the breadth and depth of knowledge to provide insightful advice. Couple David's business ethics to his talents and drive – you have an outstanding resource! If you are an entrepreneur in need of assistance, I highly recommend David."
– Ameet Shah, Entrepreneur/Inventor


text:
One of the mysteries of the English language finally explained.
1A division of 3,000–6,000 men, including a complement of cavalry, in the ancient Roman army.
brigade, regiment, battalion, company, troop, division, squadron, squad, platoon, contingent, unit, force, corps, garrison, section, group, detachment, commando, battery, band, outfit, cohortView synonyms
- 'The most important fighting unit of the Roman Army was the legion commanded by a legatus.'
- 'During the Roman conquest, the fort was sacked by Vespasian's legions.'
- 'The Roman legions brought peace and prosperity, at least most of the time.'
- 'The Gallic charge complete with battle cries was famous, but the discipline of the Roman legions was more effective.'
- 'Thus it was Titus who commanded the Roman legions during the famous sack of Jerusalem.'
- 1.1the Legion The Foreign Legion.
- 1.2the Legion A national association of former servicemen and servicewomen instituted after the First World War, such as the Royal British Legion or the American Legion.
2a legion/legions ofA vast number of people or things.'legions of photographers and TV cameras'
horde, host, throng, multitude, crowd, drove, mass, mob, rabble, gang, swarm, flock, herd, body, pack, score, mountain, army, sea, abundance, profusionView synonyms
- 'The two Soweto giants were lying fourth and fifth respectively yesterday behind clubs such as Bloemfontein Celtic and Black Leopards despite their vast legion of supporters.'
- 'Wormwood Scrubs is the last place Murphy's legion of admirers would have expected him to end up, as he took second place on Smartie in the Aintree Grand National of 2001.'
- 'In BBC hospital drama Casualty, Clive played consultant Mike Barratt, whose combination of beefy good looks and softly-spoken bedside manner won him a legion of admirers.'
- 'Back in the 1990s Ed Schultz was one of a legion of bombastic conservative talk-radio hosts.'
- 'For the band's legion of fans, Metz's book is a loving walk down memory lane.'
- 'Hopefully a whole new legion of admirers will be awakened.'
- 'She has already won a legion of admirers and a Radio 3 Award for world music.'
- 'J.J. O'Connor from Castlerea recalls that Jack always had a legion of admirers around the Castlerea era.'
- 'Nader could once claim a legion of friends and admirers in the world of American progressive politics.'
- 'He has a legion of admirers and his share of critics.'
- 'The former England boss has won a legion of admirers the world over thanks to his honest, forthright views and his overwhelming passion for the game.'
- 'Hundreds of poignant tributes from Peel's legion of devoted listeners have flooded the messageboards on the BBC.'
- 'Deservedly, the DS has garnered a legion of admirers from every generation of drivers born since.'
- 'Cassidy's legion of admirers might argue that it's enough just to hear her remarkable voice again.'
- 'Evidently, her relationship with Nick didn't earn her a legion of admirers.'
- 'As it turns out, no one in the real estate community likes this guy and the stories about his stunts are legion.'
- 'Despite his protests, there is little evidence of the black bags he insists are located under the blue eyes that have won him a legion of female admirers throughout his career.'
- 'I must make this my project of the decade which should win over a legion of admirers and also the top accolades of the industry.'
- 'Donie never wanted for company; he had a legion of friends and admirers.'
- 'It'll silence their critics, amaze their fans and win them a whole new legion of admirers.'
predicative Great in number.'her fans are legion'
numerous, countless, innumerable, incalculable, immeasurable, untold, endless, limitless, boundless, myriad, many, abundant, plentiful, thick on the groundView synonyms
- 'The myths surrounding censorship are legion, and are largely based on the unproven premise that screen violence incites people to actual violence.'
- 'The stories of people duped by these schemes are legion.'
- 'The tales of the band's remarkable excesses are legion.'
- 'The stories about Dan are legion, and don't bear repetition here - although his autobiography is highly recommended.'
- 'Meanwhile, those who detest cricket - and their number is legion - must be wondering whether a six-week exile is the only respite.'
- '"The history is complicated; the factual disputes are legion."'
- 'Examples of costly failures are legion.'
- 'The number of characters confronting inner demons was legion.'
- 'The advantages of switching from car to bike are legion.'
- 'Books and articles on the tradition of the English country house are legion.'
- 'Literary references to wine drinking are legion, presumably because it encouraged conversation, civilized, bawdy, or sometimes nonsensical.'
- 'The advantages of such an economic re-orientation, meanwhile, would be legion.'
- 'As with any complex disorder, the therapies purporting to help are legion, and variable in outcome as far as the individual is concerned.'
- 'By contrast, makeshift labs that produce the synthetic drug methamphetamine are legion - thousands of such facilities are busted annually.'
- 'Such incidents were legion and the spoils of office could be immense.'
- 'Admirers, who are legion according to Chan, call him Little Prince 'because he's very pretty.''
- 'His list of friends and admirers there is legion.'
- 'The web sites devoted to Brigitte are of course legion.'
- 'Examples of this type of behaviour in the still rather immature PC industry are legion.'
Middle English: via Old French from Latin legio(n-), from legere 'choose, levy'. The adjective dates from the late 17th century, in early use often in the phrase my, their, etc. name is legion, i.e. 'we, they, etc. are many' (Mark 5:9).
Further reading
Top tips for CV writingRead more
In this article we explore how to impress employers with a spot-on CV.


text:
Racing Victoria's decision to enter a partnership with Seven West Media to broadcast all Victorian horse racing has paid off, as figures show wagering turnover has increased during the recent spring carnival. It was revealed that wagering between late September and the end of November had increased 4.9 percent from the same period in 2014, to $AU1.3 billion (US$935 million). "Those meets were not previously on free-to-air television," Racing Victoria chief executive Bernard Saundry said. "It suggests the free-to-air model has been beneficial to Racing Victoria.
Monthly Archives: November 2015
Salvation Army case to decide if gambling addiction is a disability
DateNovember 30, 2015
AuthorPatrick Begley
SourceSydney Morning Herald
The Salvation Army told store manager Kathleen Hinder she was suspended from work because customers complained about her, she smoked too close to the entrance and did not vacuum enough. Four years later, Ms Hinder believes she knows the real reason for her suspension: disability discrimination. The Blue Mountains woman has taken the religious charity to court, alleging her former bosses targeted her as a gambling addict. But is gambling addiction a disability as Ms Hinder claims? A NSW magistrate has cleared the way for the law to decide.
Raiders head Simon Hawkins says poker machines in the casino would spell an end for many clubs
DateNovember 30, 2015
AuthorKirsten Lawson
SourceCanberra Times
SubjectVideo Poker
Raiders chief Simon Hawkins says clubs will close if the casino is allowed to install poker machines, and the Raiders group will call a halt to its $18 million expansion of its Gungahlin club. The Raiders group general manager has taken his concerns direct to Chief Minister Andrew Barr and is not reassured by the response. "The government seems to be fairly keen to explore [the casino's request]," he said. "I've spoken to the Chief Minister personally. He's certainly open minded to it.
Philippine gaming market will continue slump until 2016
DateNovember 30, 2015
The Philippine gaming slump is expected to continue amid the prevailing slowdown in gaming activities in Macau, according to First Metro Investment Corp. (FMIC), the investment arm of George Ty-led Metro Bank Group. In a report, FMIC said the Philippine gaming market is still highly correlated to Macau gaming. "Listed Philippine casino and hotel operators have seen their share prices decline by more than 50 percent year-to-date despite consolidated gross gaming revenues in the country increasing by a fifth in 2015," the report said.
Imperial Pacific's temporary casino officially opens
DateNovember 30, 2015
SourceGGR Asia
Hong Kong-listed Imperial Pacific International Holdings Ltd held the official opening of its "temporary casino" on the Pacific Island of Saipan on Friday. The venue operated via a local unit called Best Sunshine International Ltd will be used as a live-training casino facility until the opening of the permanent property, the firm has said. "We are very excited, and it's also all about giving thanks and having fun," said Best Sunshine's chief executive, Mark Brown, quoted by local newspaper Marianas Variety.
Theft From Junket Operator Knocks Macau's Gambling Business For a Loop
DateNovember 30, 2015
The theft of millions of dollars from investors in a Macau junket operator has sparked months of protests and hastened the demise of a business model that greased the wheels of the $44 billion global gambling hub for over a decade. Brandishing banners and loudspeakers, dozens of investors have protested outside Wynn Macau Ltd's casino for two months, demanding the return of money stolen by an employee of junket operator Dore Entertainment Co. Ltd and accusing Dore's head of dodging responsibility. The crime has left the junket industry's reputation in tatters and sped up the Chinese territory's shift away from VIP gamblers who used to account for more than 80 percent of its gaming revenues to the mass-market segment of less wealthy Chinese tourists.
Macau undergoing paradigm shift from VIP to Mass: Bernstein
DateNovember 30, 2015
SourceAsia Gaming Brief
Macau's gaming operators have delivered results that are in-line or a slight shortfall of Street expectations in Q3, 2015. However, analysis from Bernstein shows that casino operators will begin to diverge in performance, as the competitive environment in Macau continues to evolve with a greater focus on the mass market. With new properties continuing to open in Cotai, and businesses to follow, Bernstein prefers operators with exposure to mass in Cotai such as (Sands China, Melco Crown), whilst casino operators with Peninsula-concentrated product portfolios (Wynn Macau, MGM Macau, SJM Holdings) will continue to lose market share over the medium-term.
Macao Gaming Show 2016 moves to October
DateNovember 30, 2015
SourceGGR Asia
The 2016 edition of the Macao Gaming Show will take place one month earlier than usual, the organiser announced over the weekend. The trade show is scheduled for October 11 to 13, again at the Venetian Macao casino resort, on Cotai. The new calendar means Macao Gaming Show 2016 will take place less than two weeks after the Global Gaming Expo (G2E), in Las Vegas, United States. G2E, as it is known in the industry, is one of the world's largest trade expos for the gaming sector it is organised by the American Gaming Association and Reed Exhibitions.
Macau Economy Shrinks 24% as China Gambling Malaise Persists
DateNovember 30, 2015
AuthorDaniela Wei
Macau's economy contracted a fifth straight quarter as the world's largest center of gambling was pummeled by an economic slowdown in China and the government's attack on corruption which scared off high-rollers. The Chinese city, which relies on gamblers for about two- thirds of economic output, saw GDP tumble 24.2 percent in the three months through September, easing from the 26.4 percent drop in the second quarter, government data released Monday showed. Casinos in the former Portuguese colony have tried to reinvent themselves by focusing on tourists rather than hard- core gamblers, even as the city's Beijing-backed chief executive predicted a third year of pull-back in the industry in 2016.
Casinos of Laukkai still thriving in the conflict torn region on China's border
DateNovember 30, 2015
SourceAsia Gaming Brief
Myanmar police believe there are around 50 casino "clusters" in the Kokang Self-administered Zone, suggesting around 7500 gambling tables, all operating without official licenses, local media reports. "A cluster of casinos is composed of at least four or five casino halls. Each hall has about 30 gambling tables. Hundreds of staff work at each cluster," said a Laukkai resident who previously worked as a security guard. In February following an outbreak of war between the Tatmadaw and the ethnic Chinese forces of the Myanmar Nationalities Democratic Alliance Army (MNDAA) the casinos were initially forced to close but gradually reopened.


text:
Properties For Sale
Price Range From:
Price Range To:
Click To:
Availability: Sale
Address: 492 Tarpon Walk Fire Island PinesBedrooms: 4 | Bathrooms: 2.5Seen thru Pines Harbor Realty. A bay front beauty. Gorgeous views of the Great South Bay with a private beach. Extra large sunny pool deck, four spacious bedrooms, large kitchen that opens up to dining area, WBFP, great rent roll. Its a two story gem.Availability: Sale
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Address: 442 Sail WalkBedrooms: 4 | Bathrooms: 4.5One of the most unique houses in the Pines has come onto the sale market. This amazing house has panoramic 360-degree views of the Great South Bay, Fire Island National Seashore and the Ocean. Spectacular and spacious living room with open gourmet kitchen. Large private pool. This is one of a kind.Availability: Sale
Address: 436 Ocean Walk Fire Island PinesBedrooms: 4 | Bathrooms: 4**OCEAN FRONT*** BIG BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL. Large contemporary directly on the Atlantic Ocean. Huge great room with walls of glass, high ceilings and a wood-burning fireplace. Open gourmet kitchen. Four large master suites with marble bathrooms plus a separate cabana. Sunny Pool. Large hot tub.


text: I've been reading and reading, and am looking for the best way to build backlinks to an aged domain. I've got a wordpress blog, 4 years old, PR1. 155 backlinks according to google webmaster tools. 365 backlinks according to bing webmaster tools. I'm not ranking very well for my primary keywords, and I'm only getting ~200 unique users per day to the blog. I'm doing some white/grayhat linkbuilding currently, by creating profiles on forums, and linking to my blog with my "website" in the profile. But I'm not getting targeted "keyword" linking with my keyword in the title or the link. Any suggestions for other methods to build my links, white/gray/black? Oh, and this is an adult (porn) blog as well. It's doing the occasional sale, I just want to get the traffic from 200 uniques (mostly blog directory traffic) to 1000-1500 uniques per day (mostly search traffic).


text:
With the development of digital technology, the role of accountants will be more challenging.
It is imperative that they are trained at the highest standards and tested by the rigour of professional accountancy examinations.
At the same time, the lack of Bumiputera involvement in the professional accounting field is of great concern.
Based on the figures stated by Malaysian Institute of Accountants (MIA), there are fewer than 1,800, or eight per cent, of Bumiputera accountants.
This is way lower than market demand.
Malaysia Professional Accountancy Centre (MyPAC), established in 2014, is in collaboration with Yayasan Peneraju Pendidikan Bumiputera (Yayasan Peneraju) to increase the number of certified Bumiputera accountants.
Higher Education Minister Datuk Seri Idris Jusoh in his keynote address at the MyPAC Appreciation Award ceremony, said the traditional role of a professional accountant is evolving.
He said as a professional accountant, their role is above and beyond the preparation of financial reports.
That role, he said, had been taken over by technology.
"However, those reports and analyses will need to be interpreted and communicated.
"I am not worried that we will be replaced by artificial intelligence because I am confident that algorithm shall not overcome mental elasticity.
"As a young graduate armed with professional accountancy qualification, you have a competitive edge against the others in pursuing your career.
"Having the qualification is one thing, applying it in your career is a different story
altogether," he added.
Idris said graduates must be responsible for their own development.
"It does not stop with them completing the examination.
"If they are serious about expanding their career, invest in themselves and continue learning.
"As future leaders, they cannot ignore the rapidly advancing digital technologies.
"And, they should be familiar with blockchain technology, and understand the discussion and implications of cryptocurrencies."
Idris presented certificates to 60 Association of Chartered Certified Accountants (ACCA) students, who have passed with flying colours.
INTEC Education College announced that their Professional Accountancy Centre (IPAC) students had produced the best results for the December examination.
Present were UiTM Vice-Chancellor Professor Emeritus Datuk Dr Hassan Said, UITM Private Education College (UPESB) chairman Professor Dr Suhaimi Abdul Talib, UiTM Holdings Group chief executive officer Azlizan Fadzil and INTEC Education College chief executive Professor Dr Yamin Yasin.
Suhaimi said IPAC Education had produced many exemplary graduates and had received the platinum status award in just two years.
"We have consistently produced above world average passing rate, about 75 per cent at every sitting of examination.
"This is the result of the determination and dedication of the lecturers and the teaching and learning ecosystem at IPAC."
IPAC director Associate Professor Mahfudzah Mohamed said the institute was established to boost the number of students taking professional exams.
"But, we are able to do more because of the facilities we have."
She said IPAC lecturers had the right ingredients for success as they had students with
the right attitude.
"We hope to continue producing professional graduates by doing things right."
The series of successes came from ACCA, Certified Accounting Technician (CAT) and Certificate in Finance and Business (CFAB).
These students are recognised as the World Prize Winners with range of ranking beginning at world No. 1, 2 and 6.
Wan Nor Marfudah Wan Yusof, 21, from Jerteh, Terengganu, is World No. 1 for the ACCA paper Financial Reporting.
She said she was exposed to thousands of past years exam questions since she joined the programme 1 1/2 years ago.
"My lecturer at INTEC also gave extra notes to understand the topic better.
"ACCA is one of the toughest accounting exams. But I told myself that I would give my very best."
She said it was the first time she was ranked.
Her father had told her not to take ACCA, but to do another degree programme, but she was determined to continue.
"It is not all about numbers, but ACCA covers everything that a professional accountant needs to know, such as Accountant in Business, Management Accounting, Financial Accounting, Corporate and Business Law, Performance Management, Taxation and Financial Reporting.
"It paves the way for us to become a chartered accountant."
Marfudah scored 95 per cent for her Financial Reporting paper.
Muhamad Nurakmal Mohd Musri, 20, from Sungai Petani, Kedah, scored 100 per cent in Financial Accounting and 98 per cent for Management Accounting in the CAT exams.
For him, it was important to not skip classes because once you missed a class you would miss many things.
A former Science student, Nurakmal took Accounting papers out of curiosity and ended up liking the subject. He is starting on his ACCA soon.
"I believe in maintaining good relationships with lecturers and peers. I always ask my lecturers to explain and discuss with my friends so that everyone will understand better.
INTEC has received 2,564 students for professional accountancy programmes with 1,787 studying CAT, ACCA, Certificate in Business Accounting and CFAB by ICAEW.


text: Anyone else notice that on occasion, connecting to the router results in a delay - which is caused by an immediate reboot of the router? It's always happened here but previously there were more other important issues to worry about. Router is a WRT54GL with Tomato - browser - IE7 / Opera / Safari