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Welcome to CancerLand
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Cloudy with a Chance of Spray Tan
1. Palm Beach, Minnesota. As the weeks of chemo drag on, my skin has become translucent. (I think I saw a movie where this happened to Kevin Bacon. Eventually, he disappeared.) He should have tried his local Palm Beach Tan franchise. About a month ago I got tired of looking at my see-thru skin and jumped into a Mystic spray tanning booth. I figured these chemicals couldn't hurt me any more than anything else that was going on right now – and these chemicals make my skin feel softer. The color is really impressive and the best thing is it makes me look healthier than I normally feel. It has the effect of positive thinking through skin color. It's been quite a nice mental boost and helps me redistribute all the money I used on spend on my hair – both the hair on my head and other areas way too TMI to go into --- into a new form of beauty maintenance.
2. Driving Miss Denine. As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I have an amazing group of former colleagues who drive me "to and fro" my chemo appointments each Friday. It's really just the most wonderful experience, but under the worst of circumstances. I think on every ride, with each "driver" (as they call themselves), we have commented on the fact that it was such a great chance to visit and laugh, but how weird is the occasion? I've thought that this would be a great idea for a Broadway play. Each ride is this great connection and an opportunity to share stories and laughs, but underneath, there is this attention to The Moment. To the purpose of the ride. It's an extraordinary moment in time when you know people are reaching out to you, and in some way, you are reaching out to them too because you are allowing them to help you. It's an important exchange for everyone.
3. Life After Cancer. I was recently told by a good friend that they have been diagnosed with a long-term, chronic disease. It really made me feel humbled by my own situation. I know it's not a competition, but it made me stop and think. And although I realize that my condition will be followed for years and there is a chance of reoccurrence, with breast cancer I am largely in an "in and out" mode (at least that is what I tell myself). After surgery, I will not be expected to live with new symptoms or change my life too dramatically. It really made me think about how difficult that would be to accept. And it made me want to give her as much support as she has continued to give me.
4. Pictures of Emily. A few weeks ago, I attended the first birthday party of my dear friend's daughter. On a lark, I lugged along my good camera to take pictures. I know at parties, I always love to have pictures, but – if it's my party – I hate to orchestrate taking photos versus enjoying the moment. So it was fun for me to start taking pictures of Emily (who looks exactly like my friend…) and know that her mom and dad would have pictures of the day. Before I knew it, I had taken 86 photos. I'm strictly an amateur photographer, but it just felt nice to focus on this beautiful little girl, the great vibes at her party, and all the people surrounding her with love. It was also highly therapeutic for me: for those moments, I was traveling outside of CancerLand sans passport, doing something I enjoy and in the process, giving back to someone else.
5. Wren Hill Farm Eggs. One of my colleagues is a writer/gentleman farmer (see favorite links). The last time he was in town, he brought me a dozen farm fresh eggs. From his farm to my desk. What is it about eating eggs that haven't actually been through the Target dairy case that is so intoxicating? It makes me feel like I am one step closer to Michael Pollan and solving the Omnivore's Dilemma. It also makes me feel like I am doing something so healthy that no illness can touch me. Bring on the farm fresh eggs.
6. IMs From Hadley. I feel bad for everyone who does not have a friend like Hadley. Hadley and I have known each other for years now. We connect by instant messaging more than we do by phone. Some days, we constantly have a conversation going. Other days, not so much. But Hadley is my IM Angel (He'll kill me for saying that…). I get updates on his life, his workouts, which Louis Vuitton accessories he is currently using, his latest plan for world domination or his thoughts on what would be fun to do next weekend. For my part, I talk about my wig collection, who's driving me crazy at work, who needs a makeover (me?), who I just broke-up with or got back together with and the latest funny thing Sam just said or did. It's always a different conversation. Although he has been know to humor me, he will also tell me what he thinks --straight up -- which I really value. The fact that our conversations are so normal keeps me in the moment of my day and away from the drama of how I'm feeling or not feeling and when the next chemo appointment is.
7. Girls Gone Wild Weekends. Last weekend, my Mom and I spent the weekend in Two Harbors, MN (population: 3,277) at a resort on Lake Superior. The trip was strictly of the spontaneous variety, brought on by the feeling of a free weekend coming up and chemo treatments that were suddenly more manageable in the month of August. We first did this trip two summers ago and we entertain ourselves by referring to them as our "Girls Gone Wild" weekends. Our GGW weekends usually consist of imbibing massive amounts of Diet Peach Snapple and unrefrigerated cheese. (We are simply wild!). This trip, I went all out by having an actual cocktail (a Cosmo that had real vodka in it – my first alcoholic drink since May) and getting in a near fist fight with a 65-year old Lutheran man who stole my baggage cart and smiled at me the entire time he was rolling it away.
8. The Calendar. It is August and I am three-quarters of the way through chemo. I can't believe I started chemo in May. I can't believe I was diagnosed in March! Because of the impact of chemo on my life and my work, I have come to see the battle against breast cancer as the battle against chemo. I have another surgery scheduled for the end of October, but I barely count that in the timeline. To me, when chemo is over with, so is the most debilitating part of my treatment. I am wildly grateful that I can look back on these months like one of those old movies where the calendar pages are falling to the floor in a fast-forward motion. When all is said and done and surgically processed, I should be as good as new by December. In fact, I should be better than new. Nonetheless, my New Year's Resolution is to find a new "hobby" for 2011.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
"Our inner lives are eternal, which is to say that our spirits remain as youthful and vigorous as when we were in full bloom."
- Gabriel Garcia MarquezThere are moments of grace and moments of clarity which are all part of the CancerLand journey. Sometimes these moments of grace take the form of people; sometimes they are memories which come roaring back to remind of who I am and what I really want; other times they are simply quiet moments that reassure me that as unlikely as it seems, I will move forward from this experience.
I am already a different person from this experience. But as I live each day, I go through my life as if I'm pushing a shopping cart down the aisles of my life -- making important decisions about what I want in my life and what needs to change. Mentally, I put items in the cart that I know are essential to me – my lovely son, my family, my good friends, writing, being active, being from New York, laughing ("I'll have a case of laughing, please.") and many other things which define who I am and who I want to be "ABC" (After Breast Cancer).
I suppose the part of this journey I am still discovering – back to the shopping cart analogy – is finding the aisle in the store labeled: "Future State Essentials: Life, Love, Soul, Being." In some ways, it is the last aisle in the store and the most important one. Something about this aisle makes you feel that your shopping time is precious and limited. And choices are important. At least that's the way it feels to me right now.
I suppose this is not a big surprise. When you are denied some of the basic expectations of your life such as feeling good, being in control of your life, being able to work, and owning your own body and choosing what you want to happen to it, you start to make a mental list of all those things you either want to get back, or want to change when you are strong enough. It goes without saying that you re-evaluate decisions you have made, paths you've taken or stumbled onto or maybe you just have more time to think about the personal inertia that got you to certain "locations" in your life.
I am happy to say that I am generally happy with many, many things in my life. But it goes without saying that there are a few choices I've made that in hindsight, seem like doozies to me now. I can't say that I have any real regret in these doozies because they were choices I made at a different point in time with a different set of expectations. But it does make me thankful (in a very odd, ironic way) for the clarity which living with a major illness has provided me.
So here is a random list of things that I want to make room for "ABC". You will see from the list that some of these are easy, some more complicated, but I see them all as possible if I really want them. Maybe this is my first attempt to kind of "put them out there in the universe" as a way of attracting and committing to things I've decided are important to me.
1. I want to find a wonderful man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me. No more well-intentioned but dead-end relationships for this gal. Just like when I was in my 30's and single and I felt the clock ticking, I feel it ticking in a different way now. Life is short. So much more to do and see and live and experience. If I have a choice, I'd like to do that with a man who feels the same way. Using the "shopping" analogy: No more "relationship clean-up in Aisle Three". Been there, done that. I want the real thing now.
2. I need to go back to New York City for a "fix" soon. Very soon. I decided some months ago that I was homesick for New York. It started slowly with strange cravings to see the New York City Ballet and culminated in a major heartsickness when I watched the Tony Awards a few weeks back. I haven't been to New York in about five years. The last time I was there I remember walking down Madison Avenue and looking down and thinking "these are my sidewalks." I just feel so at home in New York. I love the crazy pace and the crazy mix of people; I take great pride in knowing my way around the city and several of the boroughs. Most of all, I miss Broadway and Lincoln Center. There was something about the great expanse of Lincoln Center and that part of the West Side that always made me feel like it was the center of the universe. As soon as I have recuperated from all this ("ABC") and I actually have vacation time that I can use for vacation (instead of for having poison pumped through my veins…) I am going to New York for a few days where I plan to hoist a few glasses of champagne with my friends and go see enough plays, ballets and operas to send me into a coma.
3. I want to have another try at running. This being said, I will also need to get in better shape than I am now. However, now that they have reduced the amount of mandatory steroids they give you for chemo, I feel this may be a real option. I'm not sure I have another marathon in me, but I have always wanted to do one of the Disney World running events they hold in January. I'm hoping that maybe one of these days I'll get there. Hell, even if I do a 5K, it's worth it to get out of Minnesota in January and end up in Florida. Even if I have to run there.
4. I will do the MS150 next year! Call it "making a comeback" or whatever. I really missed participating this year and now that my company has a team, they can count me in.
5. I want to have a good reason to brush up my Italian. I spent six months on a semester abroad program in Italy when I was in college and I haven't been back to Europe since. I would love to go back to Italy, but would gladly settle for just about any one of the many countries I have not yet traveled to. Life is short and the list is long.
Maybe if #1 happens, I could travel with The Man of My Dreams to (#2) New York for a few days. We could hop down to Florida for a quick 5K (#3), and then end up doing a bike Tour de Tuscany (#4, #5). A tour through the wine country of France would also work. From my lips to God's ears. But hey -- I'm open to other adventures I haven't thought of yet as well.
But however it all turns out, these things are on my list. As I begin to get my energy back and I can actually see the light at the end of the aisle, I think of more things for "the shopping list". Or maybe I should say, I can start to see my life "ABC" – or at least the life I want to create/recreate "ABC".
I still have a long way to go, but it's very comforting to me to have dreams, and to focus on the future. One of the things that helps me the most is the knowledge that I'm not pushing the cart toward my dreams alone, and that I am so lucky to have so many friends and family to help me get there.
CAUTION: This blog was written about two weeks ago the night before my last "butt kicking" chemo treatment. It's not the most uplifting blog, but it does tell it like it is. Since then, I've switched over to a less virulent form of chemo and the side effects so far have been much, much less (Score!) By virtue of the fact that I'm posting a "caution" on this post, you can tell that I'm not that comfortable being "Not-So-Optimistic" Denine. But I want to try to be as honest as I can in this journey, for those whom it may help.
When I was young and single and living in New York about a million years ago, my brother got me interested in hockey. He took me to Madison Square Garden, the home of the New York Rangers, and sat me down in one of his two season-ticket holder seats in the red zone. We were close enough to feel like we were practically on the ice and in the game. I loved hockey. It was fast-paced, rough and tumble and in the Ron Duguay years that I remember, the players were very, very easy on the eyes.
One of the things I remember learning from my brother was the unique role of the goalie on the team. "Think about it," he said. "When a projectile is speeding at your head at 100 mph, your first instinctive reaction is to get the hell away from it. But a goalie's job is to throw his body in front of it. To attract it, and just take it in the chin." Or the pads, or the grill, or any other place but in "the crease" or the net. I think this is what he was trying to say:
"Any discussion on hockey goaltenders must begin with the assumption that they are about three sandwiches shy of a picnic. I can prove this. From the moment Primitive Man first lurched erect, he and those who came after him survived on the principle that when something hard and potentially painful comes at you at great velocity, you get the hell out of its path. Goalkeepers throw themselves into its path. I rest my case."
I thought of this wee bit of hockey learning a lot this week because that's what I've felt like: chemo goalie. Exactly a week ago, I had to sit in a leather recliner and take a friggin' puck in the chest for 3 ½ hours. I dreaded going. I dreaded being there. I cried as the chemo went into me. And I tried to think of any excuse or escape that I could to just not have to go. It was agonizing. Like the goalie who is waiting to get hit, or the stupid teenager in the fifth remake of the horror movie where you know she's going to end up strapped to the chainsaw table, it's just so inevitable and awful.
I have to admit that I have a really bad habit of being optimistic, but this week was really a test for me. It still continues to be a test. I am mightily struggling with this journey right now. I am upset by how bad I feel and how much I've had to struggle just to get by in the past week. I hate feeling like this. And the truth is, as much as I am trying to take care of myself right now, there just is not enough Prozac in the world to make a difference. It is really a mean kind of endurance that you need to build up in order to survive. It is a take-no-prisoners and get-the-hell-out-of-the-way kind of survival.
In honor of my goaltending status and all the goalies that have gone before me, here are a few thoughts:
• "There is no position in sport as noble as goaltending"
- Vladislav Tretiak, former great Russian goaltender
• "We are the sort of people who make health insurance popular"
- Terry Sawchuk, former Red Wing goaltender
• "In Biblical times, I stoned people to death. Now they are repaying me by hurling pucks at my head"
- Giles Gratton, former netminder
• "Goaltender is a normal job. Sure. How would you like it if at your job, every time you made the slightest mistake a little red light went on over your head and 18,000 people stood up and screamed at you?"
- Jaques Plante, goalie
• "Playing goal is like being shot at"
- Jaques Plante, yet again
I know that my chemo beatings are going to get easier from here on out, but I have NO IDEA how I am going to be able to do this until October 1st. Lately, I have been raging on a daily basis at the idea that I must continue this treatment for 12 more weeks. I must have transitioned from that stage of denial and bargaining to anger and maybe that's a good thing. I think I will need to use this anger to get really pissed off and keep fighting as hard as I can. That's about the best thing I can think of or the most positive way I can think of to funnel this anger into something constructive.
Post Script – This past week, I had the good fortune to have an honest talk (e.g., mini-nervous breakdown) with my wonderful doctor and the wonderful nurse who runs the cancer support group. I think this may be a great time to talk to other women going through this and I plan to attend the next support group. The other realization that came out of their great care and good listening skills was the word "commitment" and how much commitment it takes to go through this process and keep coming back for more. (I suppose that's another thing that cancer patients have in common with goalies.) That stuck with me and it was comforting to think about this in the context of my commitment to my health – even when it clearly sucks to do that – and to just do my best to keep showing up and getting it done. Onward and upward...
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Doing Time on the Luce Line
There is a point to all this, I promise.
For the past few weeks, I have been going thru chemo and cursing at everyone riding a bicycle. I don't discriminate. I am equally crabby toward the pelotons of riders wearing Campagnolo jersey ensembles and those just out for the casual ride. I promise I haven't driven anyone off the road, but seeing someone enjoy what I felt I couldn't do anymore made me "sad and mad" as Sam would say.
I've never been a truly dedicated cyclist. I just do it because I enjoy it. I've done the MS150 in Minnesota (Duluth to White Bear Lake…"Go Bears") about five or six times in the past ten years. (See? I am a fair weather cyclist…). I like the challenge and the speed and the workout; the rest stops and the camaraderie; the being outdoors and strangely, I enjoy the solitude, if that's the right word. I process things when I ride. I solve the problems of the world and the problem of – my favorite joke – what to have for lunch.
About two summers ago, I impulsively bought a mountain bike to go with my tri-bike and my road bike. Don't ask. It's what I do. In my old age I have acquired a little bike habit. Any day now, I expect to be invited to be "interviewed" for the show Intervention. I can picture it now: Sam and my Mom and a few friends seated on really bad hotel furniture and telling me: "Denine, If you do not accept help today, I will no longer help you with your addiction to Titanium. Will you accept this gift?" I will be sitting there, gloweringly resistant, saying: "Having three bikes in not a problem. I can handle it!" Eventually, I will cave and they will send me to Shifting Gears By-the-Sea. Of course, I will relapse the minute I get my bonus and see some new TREK that is "too pretty" to pass up.
But I digress. So as I was saying: I bought this mountain bike. Not any mountain bike, but kind of a hunkin-funkin mountain bike (see photo of "The Baby"). I have to laugh because taking this thing on the Luce Line trail is like driving a Hummer on a suburban street. When I first went shopping for it, I told the sales guy at the bike store what I was looking for and where I wanted to ride it. He suggested I try out a few different bikes. The first few he suggested looked like the only accessory I would need was a woven basket on the back where I would put Dorothy's little kidnapped dog, Toto (see photo).
I wanted to say to him: "Maybe I've had a rough day or something, but I'm in my 50's, not my 80's." Anyway, I had done a little bike research before shopping and knew which bikes looked "cool" to me. After I spent the requisite time nodding politely about his Almira Gulch suggestions, I just felt I wasn't getting through so I went to a different bike store.
That's where I found The Baby. The minute I got on it, I felt instantly cooler. Hard to explain but it was just exciting to ride. And hey: isn't that what a new bike is all about? Seriously. Maybe this goes to the heart of my addiction. I truly believe that no matter what age you are, there is just nothing more fun or more exciting than a new bike. (I know. I know. Arrested development.). I got a TREK, dude!
So, after weeks of chemo and weeks of silently cursing cyclists who could actually cycle, I was amazed when I felt strong enough and motivated enough to ride my bike on the Luce Line trail. For good measure, I had to strap on one of those portable Saris bike carriers on my trunk – not for the weak of heart – but as I say I was motivated. The hardest part of the trip was lifting my bike on the carrier (this bike may be aluminum but there's a lot of it).
It took me a little while to get my confidence back, but I did it. I did five miles out and five miles back for a total of 10 miles which did amazingly good things for me – better than any medicine I can imagine. I wore my do-rag under my helmet – the first time I've ever gone out in public without The Hair (see photo opp). It made me feel strangely powerful. And as I was riding along, it suddenly occurred to me that I was riding my bike, with no hair and a major illness, and that made me feel lucky. It just kind of hit me. I think sometimes I spend so much time publicly wearing The Hair and trying to look "normal" that I forget that going on a 10 mile bike ride is probably a pretty lucky thing to be able to do right now.
But more than that, more than anything, I felt like Denine was back. In that one small event, I had taken back, wrested, fought, said "screw you" and otherwise initiated a bloody coup d'etat against my cancer. It made me realize that I can't let this get me down. I can't "assume" that I will need to hole-up in my house, stay out of the sun (that's why they make 100 SPF sunblock, right?) and take an extended intermission from the parts of my life that really bring me joy. And as corny as it sounds, that joy feeds my soul. Very important. (Hey Soul Sista.....)
So if you see me on the Luce Line, I'll be the one on the hunkin-funkin mountain bike whose Bontragers have never touched a mountain. I'll probably be wearing my new leopard print Buff on my head with my small, blingy breast cancer ribbon earrings and my much-cooler-than-I-am Rudy Project sunglasses from much faster cycling days gone by. I will be the middle-aged crazy lady with the smile on my face who's feeding her soul while hogging the trail. Beep, beep!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
When I blog, I try to look on the bright side of things. It really doesn't take much effort and as I've said before, I really feel that there are so many more "positive" things going on right now for me (oddly enough) than just the cancer. It helps that the side-effects from chemo have been very manageable so far. In five weeks of chemo sessions (three cycles), I have only been absent from work four days – including the vacation time I need to take to attend the chemo appointments. (Vacation. That's a laugh.)
I've had a little dizziness, a little nausea and a little heartburn– but nothing too bad. Mostly, I've been able to take a pill and feel better. It's like magic. When I experience fatigue, I rest – and previously, the ratio of fatigue to rest time seemed to make sense and be in proportion to the crime.
That all changed this week. I'm not sure what happened this week. I had my usual chemo appointment last Wednesday and the usual stress and deadlines of my job (turned down "low" because of the cancer), and the usual restful weekend after chemo. The only thing that seemed different to me this week was that I was flat on my back all day Saturday. I didn't question this, thinking preventive "rest" was a thoughtful, prudent choice. It was only when I got up to get dressed to take Sam to a movie that I realized how much effort it took. I mean, all I did was get dressed. I transferred my body from bed to a seat in my car, and then to a seat in the movie theatre. Exhausting. Are we at the 20-mile mark yet???
Sunday was pretty much the same. A trip to Barnes and Noble. More transferring of myself from bed to car to chair while Sam used a gift card on several DVDs he wanted. How hard could this be? I could do this before, why not now? I want my life back, I kept thinking. Now.
Monday was more of the same, only worse. I slept most of the day and had a hard time sitting up. (This is not good.) I had this feeling that if I could just find the right type of outlet, I could plug myself in and I'll be all better. The "outlets" I've tried include prescription meds, hydration, types of food, sleep and stupid TV. Unfortunately, none of these seem to be working like they used to. I feel like a chemist: if I can just manipulate the right quantities and verify the data, I'm sure I can get it right. At least I think so.
We're going to keep hitting you. My oncologist warned me about this. I just didn't believe her. I was feeling so good during the first few cycles. I was basking in the rosy glow of "I Rock" because I hadn't experienced too many side effects. But she did patiently and kindly warn me. "Keep in mind", she said, "that you'll come in here at 100 percent…and we'll keep hitting you each week. You'll go from 100 percent, to 90 to 80 percent…and we'll keep on hitting you".
I know that sounds a little cruel, but I know she didn't mean it that way. She just instinctively knew that given my job and my personality and the fact that I'm a mother – I might be a non-believer. And I'm sure this isn't the first time she's seen something like this before.
I'm sure I have all the telltale signs of the non-believer: bouncing into chemo in my little suit with my iPad under one arm and my work laptop under the other. From taking the occasional meeting on my Blackberry "in a single bound" to planning my wardrobe to provide fashionable access to my infusion port, I was way overdue for a big chemo fall. And I got it. All I need now is some sawdust and a few shovels to help cover up the mess.
I'm going to keep expectations high. It's actually kind of funny when you think about how all this works. I try to save my life by agreeing to have all these terrible chemicals pumped into me. The chemicals are "terrible" because they kill good cells and the bad cells. Along the way, I lose all my hair, have no energy, have to apply for FMLA so I can protect my job right in the middle of all this, and somehow – I have managed to adapt to all this as normal. So "normal", that I am annoyed when I actually have any debilitating side effects and am inconvenienced by having to take vacation time off in order to stay alive. It reminds me of something my mother's doctor said to her when she complained about her inability to still be active, ski and run-around at 83. I remember him saying to her: "You have some very high expectations for someone who is 83". This makes me laugh. I guess it runs in the family.
So here's the good news. I only have one more cycle of what I call "butt-kicking chemo", then I switch to an easier form of chemo beating. I've done three of the four cycles and if I can just get past the next one, it should get easier. (My doctor told me this, I swear). That's if I can maintain myself at around 75 to 80 percent while I'm still getting hit. But I suppose it's true in chemo beatings as it is in life, that perspective is everything. So I'll try my best to keep a smile on my face during the beatings, knowing that they will continue until the cancer improves or until I finally just accept that if you aren't at least a little miserable during this process, then you just aren't paying attention .
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Grace 911: Friends, Family, Maury and Zappos
In the past few months of living with breast cancer, I have discovered a few miracles that were right in front of me all along and which have helped me through the uncertainly of this journey.
Friends. Being the independent sort and the Queen of Caregivers myself, it has always been a bit of a challenge for me to let my guard down enough to let others take care of me. I'm sure I have a lot of built-in excuses for this and I'm sure I could spend years laying on a mid-century sofa in some analyst's office discussing this topic alone.
That being said, I have been so amazed, grateful, rewarded and downright overwhelmed by the kindness and generosity of my friends and colleagues during this journey. Every day is like the evening of the 1985 Academy Awards when Sally Field blurted out "You like me! You really like me!" It is sometimes overwhelming to take it all in appropriately and to feel so "lucky" in the middle of such an otherwise stressful time. For example:
- I have my Personal Driving Team (a/k/a "Awesome Driving Team") of former OPG colleagues who have my chemo appointments so well scheduled and calendared that is it a near para-military operation. They set this up all by themselves and monitor my appointment needs in case I feel like slipping back into my old curmudgeonly caregiver ways.
- I have a great group of current AMC colleagues who laugh at my bad jokes and listen to every last "TMI" detail of my treatment. This includes a "Chemo Calendar" (similar to a fund raising barometer) to color in my progress toward finishing my chemo ("30% done!"). Some days we talk a lot about what's going on; some days a little. But every day, it is a blessing to feel their support.
- Of course, there is the famous "dear friend" who bought me an iPad for my birthday. Every time we get together, he helps me upload more and more apps that help me manage my life, pay my bills, goof off ("Bejeweled 2") and which make my chemo appointments fly by. He even lets me use my iPad for a little while when he's done playing with it.
- Also overwhelming is the support, good wishes and general "you can do it's" I receive from friends on FaceBook. I decided to go public on FB because it started to feel emotionally stifling not to. For weeks before "coming out" I receded into silence (not like me). I just wasn't ready to go public and wasn't quite sure how to without seeming too needy (there's that word...). Then I decided to start a blog as a way to cope – and to effectively but gently broach the subject of my breast cancer diagnosis.
Since then, I have probably brought TMI to a whole new level. But it is so gratifying to receive words of encouragement from people I attended grade school with (you know who you are); colleagues and fellow survivors from my years at The Times; and an entire support team of well-wishers and cheerleaders that I never knew were there for me. I guess I just had to ask. Lesson learned.
I thank you all so much and want you to know how much I appreciate the big things and the little things – the hugs, the love, the sitting with me for three hours of chemo, the pie (!), the cards, the chili, the "hey I love your blog", the "hey, how can I help?", the pep talks and the general good vibes -- which are helping me get through this with my head and my wig on straight.
Family. My immediate family, which includes my Mom, my son, and truly, my ex-husband Ben, have been a source of hands-on, unconditional support for me since this all started.
- My Mom, who is 84 and has her own health issues, spends her days worrying that she is not doing enough to help me. Little does she know (although I try to reassure her) that the times when I know I can just pick-up the phone and have an instant nervous break-down with her are, as the commercial says, "priceless". You can't do that with just anyone. At least I can't.
- My son, who is 20 and has special needs, has been such a rock in all this; it is just amazing to me. When I first started my chemo, he was the one I wanted a hug from most. I would just hold onto him and cry like a little baby. He would never cave, and always just hugged me back and said "It's gonna be alright. You're gonna be alright." I have no idea where he got this resolve unless it's just a child's innate feeling that nothing really bad can happen to a parent. Maybe I don't give him enough credit. And yet, early on I sensed that getting a big hug from someone who thinks you're immortal would be a really helpful thing right now.
On his weekends with me, Sam seems to enjoy the role reversal of tucking me in at night and turning off the TV if I fall asleep with it on (frequently). It's terribly sweet. I always joke about it with him and repeat the lines from the book I Love You Forever which has the grown son helping his aged Mom to bed and repeating the lines:
I'll love you forever,
I'll like you for always,
As long as I'm living
My Mommy you'll be.
Now that I'm bald, he thinks I'm just the coolest Mom in town. When he first saw my newly svelte head, he laughed and said "I've seen everything now!"
In addition to the incredible grace my son's shows in the face of the sudden changes that he sees in his one-and-only-mother, he still finds the time to blow me away with his love. When I least expect it, walking around the house with a camo-colored Buff "do-rag" on my head, he suddenly looks at me and says: "You are beautiful." I don't know where he gets this stuff. But in that moment, I am so proud to have had anything to do with raising such a wonderful young man.
- Since my ex-husband is remarried and is totally averse to any public displays of gratitude, let me just embarrass him by saying that he has been there for my surgeries, for my moral support, my urgent "need a Sam hug" runs and a whole host of other unexpected support team duties which I will never truly be able to adequately thank him for. Or his wife, who has definitely signed up for the American Cancer Society's "Borrow-An-Ex-Husband" program. (Thanks, Kate).
Maury. Who would've ever thought that The Maury Show would provide such an important public service? Where have I been?
My friend Amy happened to have the bad luck to call me after I had just made my appointment to have my hair buzzed. Just one "hello" into the phone and she knew something was going on. She listened sympathetically, and then gave me a great piece of advice: "Just stay home today and make it a Maury Marathon Day. You'll feel better about yourself in no time."
I never got around to watching Maury that day, preferring instead to just bump into walls and lament the loss of my hair – which had now morphed in my pre-buzz-cut mind into being the perfect head of hair. (Right!) But I did get around to it last week. Here is the series of text messages I sent Amy:
Text #1: "Hi- Just got home from chemo. Resting and watching Maury: "Send in the Decoys…BUST My Cheating Spouse!" Just what the doctor ordered! Lol!"
Text #2: "Favorite exchange so far:
Wife: "I cheated on you."
Husband: "With who?"
Wife: "Well, I just don't know his name."
Text #3: (I was on a roll…):
"Here's another fav: "Brittany is getting married in a month and she has to know if her fiancé has been sleeping with her mother."
YOU were right! I am feeling so much better about my life already!!!
I mean, look at the facts: On count one, I KNOW the name of my baby-daddy, and I even know where he lives and see him often. Check. On count two, I don't have a fiancé, but I'm sure my 84 year old mother would agree with me when I say that although she has certainly been known to appreciate a nice-looking man, she has other priorities in her life right now. Those priorities would not included cat-fighting with her daughter over a dude.
This is all just very helpful in reminding me that breast cancer is temporary but bad taste is forever.
Zappos. What can I say about a store that understands my need for shoes and my need for immediate shoe gratification? Especially now!
This is so embarrassing but in addition to the "chemo craving" shoes I bought and wrote about (and posted pictures of), I bought four more pairs of shoes in the past three weeks. I also received another pair of the "chemo craving" shoes in bright red for my birthday. This must be some kind of a record. I didn't get them all from Zappos but I did get the last three pairs from them: by overnight mail, fit perfectly, love them all! Yes, God has a funny way of balancing the scales. (So a big "shout out" to Jesus too.)
Grace. I'm sure this has all been said before, but perhaps not by me. I'm only about half-way through this journey – at least the part I know about and can plan for. And yet, I have learned so much and felt so incongruously grateful as I walk this path. And the miracle to me is that so far I have never had to walk it alone. I thank you all from the bottom of my little Italian heart.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Happy Bald Birthday To Me
In some ways today is the final step or the first step in publicly having breast cancer. What a mind blower. I am sitting here watching "The Young Victoria" (she has a lot of hair) with a little turban number on my head. Who would have ever thought?
I had to stay home from work today. I just couldn't stop the waterworks when I realized I had to make an appointment to have my hair buzzed. I mean, I had the new wig and the bag of scarves and the whole deal. Theoretically, I was prepared. But trust me, I'm not sure you can ever be prepared for having handfuls of your hair fall out. It's pretty weird shit. It starts getting all over the place and suddenly you become afraid of your brush. A good friend of mine said, "Being positive is good, but some things just suck." This just sucks.
I had my hair buzzed at a local Aveda salon -- by the same stylist who had done the last cut and color on me (Ashley). I really didn't know what to expect but at least had the presence of mind to ask if they could cut my hair in a more private setting (Ashley's styling station is literally situated next to the floor-to-ceiling windows of the salon entrance. This is really quibbling considering that the entire salon is glass and mirrors surrounded by beautiful 20-year olds with perfect hair). In any case, they assured me that they could accommodate my request for privacy, and Ashley arranged to see me the same day to cut my hair.
Considering my state of mind and how I felt about having my head shaved, I guess I expected that Ashley would drag me into a bathroom and just "go for it". But it was so much more than that. I have to say that everyone --from the appointment scheduler to the guest services people-- were so kind. And Ashley gets to be at the top of that list. They may have been 20 and beautiful, but they totally "got it". When it was time for the big moment, Ashley insisted on giving me the royal treatment: she gave me a shoulder massage, shampooed my hair and took me back to a large, private "styling bathroom" complete with a shower and a tufted, red velvet bench. She asked me to sit on the bench facing away from the mirror because "the electrical outlet is on the other side". If this was a lie, it was one that I appreciated as I really wasn't up to watching the identity I had carried around for 55 years slide down my shoulders strand by strand. I just didn't think I was up to that.
During the hair buzzing "ceremony"Ashley and I made small talk and laughed a lot. I told her that my ex-husband thought I should have some Valium on hand (for hair cutting emergencies like this one), but I suspected that he really just wanted me to get it so he could borrrow some. We also figured out that neither one of us had done this before and I told her that this could mean a new business opportunity for her -- although maybe more of a "long term" opportunity in terms of adding to her clients.
When she was done, she helped me with my wig and styled it. And thankfully, I never had to look in the mirror at myself until I was all put together. This may sound a little psychotic, but honestly -- I was just not ready for that. I knew I would be eventually. But that day, I was just trying to keep all the pieces together. No need for self-actualization or "truth" on that day. No need to see if I look more like the female version of Mr. Clean or Howie Mandel on that day. I guess I figured there's nothing like a little healthy dose of denial if it helps get you through. Besides, I didn't have any Valium. Not yet anyway.
Next: Coping With Bald (and much more information you never wanted to know...)


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Welcome to the Rowlett Chamber of Commerce!
To represent and promote the economic well-being of the business community!
Save the Date
Every Day is Beautiful in Green Valley
With a wide variety of events and opportunities, Green Valley has something to offer everyone. Celebrate the fun of the Minnesota State Fair with us each summer. Enjoy a scenic stroll through our many parks or play a round of golf at one of our three courses. Have your picture taken with the World's Largest Owl and marvel at all the beautiful outdoor murals throughout the town.
Our community offers a thriving economy, superb schools, traditional values, faith and fellowship, helpful services, and many entertainment options. Green Valley is truly the ideal place for new ventures and new growth because every day is abeautiful day.
In the Spotlight
Business of the Month
Selected by a committee of their peers, one member is highlighted high each month.
13th Annual Taste & Trade
Join us at the 13th Annual Taste & Trade! You don't want to miss this Tailgate Party Business Expo!
From the President's Desk
An occasional email from the Chamber President with timely information, events or training opportunities.
Newsletter SIgn-Up
Stay updated on recent events, news, happenings and business.

subset: commoncrawl


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Apply now
The deadline for veterinary medicine applications and work experience form submissions is 15th October 2017 at 6:00pm.
We are now accepting applications from students for our veterinary medicine courses, starting in September 2018. The deadline for applications and work experience form submissions is 15th October 2017 at 6:00pm.
Making an application
1. Students can discover which veterinary medicine course is right for them.
2. Applications must be submitted online via UCAS. Students may list a total of five courses on the UCAS application form, but only four can be for veterinary medicine and science programmes (D100, D101 and D102).
3. Students must complete a 'work experience questionnaire' and return this to us.
After your students apply
Students can monitor the status of application through UCAS Track. They can also continue exploring student life at RVC by visiting our Virtual RVC page, where they can find more student interviews and tours of our campuses.
Visit us
Students, teachers, parents and guardians, and career advisers can join us at the RVC this autumn at one of our Open House events. Open Houses provide the chance to see one or both of our campuses on the same day. Visitors will be given a tour by a current student and have the opportunity to speak to academic staff. Booking is open for:
Saturday 7th October and Sunday 29th October
We will also be hosting an 'Animal CSI: What, how, when?' event at the Royal Institution of Great Britain, where visitors can dive into the world of veterinary pathology for an evening of mystery and intrigue, including a live-streamed dissection from the Royal Veterinary College's laboratory and hands-on experiments and activities.
Wednesday 11th October: 6:30pm – 10:00pm


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Waterfowl hunting management in North America.
Estimated abundance of gadwall (A. strepera) was 3.1 ± 0.2 million, which was 12% above the 2008 estimate and 73% above the long-term average.
Find banding and recovery locations for your flyway or state at Bands Across America.
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Produced by the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service in collaboration with flyway and state waterfowl managers.


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I was sad to miss the LA Day of the Dead this year but I'm excited to be going with my husband to the Krampus Ball in December! Krampus is a strange folk figure found in many alpine countries - mostly Austria and Germany, but also Hungary, the Czech Republic and a few others. He's a devilish figure and servant of St. Nicholas, (there is no "Santa" in much of Europe) who whips the bad kids with willow wands. There is a Krampusnacht where Krampuses, St. Nicholas and others parade down the street...and this year there will be all of the above in LA! The people putting it on are going all out on their masks and are blogging about the process as they do it and that's what got me all psyched about it - I just love seeing that sort of creativity - seeing these crazy giant devilish costumes come to life.
The goal is to make some Krampus costumes of our own to wear to the Krampus Run and the Krampus Rumpus. The Krampus Ball is sooner though. So our thought was to have some bits of the Krampus costumes together for the ball and mix those with existing costumes. To that end I purchased a few things... including these resin cast ram's horns from etsy seller SinergieDreads. I love them, they are so nice and light!
So this weekend I got to work on my headdress for the ball and here's how it turned out (work with a nice 2/3 wig fall of hair that matches my own.)
And here's how I constructed it - the base is a basic tear shaped form of the sort you see with many cocktail hats only bigger and with holes cut out to accommodate the horns. The form is make out of wonderflex, which is similar to buckram but much stronger. It's basically a thermoplastic impregnated buckram - when heated it becomes flexible and can adhere to itself.
I used a heat gun to shape the wonderflex over a tinfoil covered fabric wig form and just cut and pleated it to shape. Then when it was cool and stiff I wired the edges (but not the horn holes) with millinery wire and also attached a wire from the front point to the back. I sewed a loop for the horn elastic to thread thru then painted the form black and dry brushed white stripes on it so that any gaps in the branches I hot glued on top of it would be less noticeable. Then hot glued TONS of "snow" and "ice" covered branches from Michaels onto the form. It was important to use wired plastic floral stems vs natural branches because I needed to bend the wires and make them fit the curve of the base. Straight natural branches/twigs would have just popped off.
I made small rings of fur from a ripped up fur stole I had to cover the joins between the horns and the horn holes. I still want to monkey with these a bit, not exactly sure I like them how they are, may make them a bit more or less furry, and also need to attach them to the base. So the horns just slip in and out of the holes and are completely separate from the headpiece. I plan on doing something similar with the Krampus mask I'm making so the horns can be easily used with both costumes.
ETA - and it's a bit late but I just realized this actually fits the "masquerade" HSF challege - woo hoo!
The Challenge: #22 Masquerade
Fabric: Wonderflex
Pattern: None
Year: Krampus has been around since at least the late 19th Century since I've seen photos depicting him from the 1890s but my headdress is a much more modern interpretation.
Notions: Thread, Millinery Wire, hot glue, paint, "ice" and "snow" covered floral stems.
How historically accurate is it? Not very!
Hours to complete: 2 days
First worn: Will be worn at the Krampus Ball
Total cost: Many of the materials were in my stash but I spent $25 on floral stems and $35 on horns.
Next up - hooves...
Monday, November 11, 2013
Historical Sew Fortnightly: #22 Masquerade - Krampus Ball Headdress
Posted by Loren Dearborn at 8:22 PM
Labels: hsf, krampus, la, loj, myth masque
7 comments:
Oh my goodness! I didn't know there was such a thing as a Krampus Ball! I have been trying to find a good krampus story book to scare my friend's kids (and someday my own kids) with. I just bought a krampus nutcracker two weeks ago. Your headpiece is just marvelous!!ReplyDeleteReplies
Yeah, we'd heard of Krampus a few years ago but had no idea there were any American events. I'm pretty sure this is the first year for the LA Krampus Fest.Delete
that is AWESOME!ReplyDelete
Hilarious and gorgeous at the same time. I love it.ReplyDelete
Dear Loren,ReplyDelete
Serious WOW. Great fun, and the contrast between sparkles and horns is neat. So effective!
Can't wait to see more. You are having fun with this one :}
Very best,
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)


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Hanging of the Greens
Members gather during near the first Sunday of Advent each year to decorate the sanctuary in preparation for Christmas. Many hands make light (and joyful) work as decorations are retrieved from their storage locations and lovingly placed. A light meal and worship service finish the evening.


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Of the households surveyed, less than 15% said that they had made any special arrangements for Christmas Eve. The survey also found that although restaurants and bars in bustling commercial areas of the city sported Christmas decorations, there were fewer crowded restaurants and bars than in recent years.
A few years ago, some Chinese people, especially the young, were curious about joining foreigners in Christmas celebrations in China, the survey found. However, the novelty of Christmas commerce has worn off and the majority of the Chinese people still think the traditional Chinese Spring Festival, which falls on Jan. 28, is the most important holiday.
Copyright December 1997, Crain Communications Inc.


text: hi guys i need some advice There is this girl in my class that I like. This is a different girl from the one I posted about 2 months ago. She has a pretty face...I dont like her personality...I feel that she is immature and...stupid. but dammit her eyes, her nose, her lips, they kill me. I think I have destroyed my chances of being with her. Here is why. A while back, through casual conversation, I asked her where she is from, and I found that she is from a Spanish speaking country. So I started talking Spanish to her to make her feel closer to me. I am not a native speaker but I know the language a little. So every day, I said something random in Spanish. Like "are you from Germany?" "do you go to the doctor when you are sick" The purpose of this was only to show off my Spanish skills. Then I noticed that she is avoiding me more and more. I figured she probably thinks I am awkward or creepy. So while she was talking to this guy, I went to the guy and through casual conversation, I told him (on purpose) "I don't like awkward people." Wanted to see the girl's reaction. and the girl reacted exactly as I expected. She goes "you are hilarious" and then I said "no, I am serious, I hate it when people are awkward" and she goes "you are pretty awkward yourself" I wish I has asked her something like "what have I done to make you think that?" because I am not sure if this is the reason. maybe there is another reason. so I think she thinks of me as this crazy guy who keeps asking stupid questions like "do you go to the doctor?" so have I already destroyed my chances? is there any way to repair this? by the way, she is one of those girls who have a lot of guy friends. A lot of guy friends.


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I appeared on Sky News this evening in what was supposed to be a "mock debate" this evening, opposite a London MeetUp organizer for Obama, Ms. Carole Bell. I hear the M4 (major London highway) was closed, however, which caused Carole to arrive late in the studio, so the format had to be altered slightly.
Sky News - mock debate
2 comments:
- Jesse O. said...
You sounded good for the brief moment you were speaking. It must hurt having to stick-up for John McCain. He has such an opportunity to hit a home run and he only hits fouls, when he swings the bat.
- September 30, 2008 4:27 PM
- George Ajjan said...
Thanks Jesse. The actual clip was about 8 minutes, and I was speaking for the first 3 or so by myself, then closed it out as well. I'll get the full clip shortly I hope.
- September 30, 2008 4:32 PM
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What are you reading to the left is an archived blog post written by international political consultant George Ajjan.
For more information, please visit http://www.georgeajjan.com.


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The Mono Cog AL is single speed sophistication. A new lightweight formed 6061 aluminum tubing frame with a full carbon fiber fork advance the Monocog to the highest level of performance. Shimano hydraulic disc brakes and the Crank Brothers cockpit complete the package.
- Redline hydroformed 6061 alloy frame with tapered headtube, integrated horizontal dropouts optional hanger for rear derailleur
- Redline 29" full carbon fork with tapered steer, post style disc mount, 15mm thru axle
- Truvativ AKA crankset with 32t chainring and Shimano hydraulic disc brakes
- Alex XD Comp wheelset with Schwalbe Nobby Nic tires


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- Damiansmum10
- 4 years ago
Hi so I've made wacky cake before in vanilla and chocolate but I'm craving carrot cake. Could I add the spices and carrots and raisins for like a carrot cake into the wacky cake? Sorry i didnt know the best place to post this in.


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Do you have an album, book, film or show coming up and you need to announce to the proper market?
Are you a talented individual who has not received the media attention you deserve?
Did you think you were too small to get mainstream media coverage?
Are you in the midst of a great work-in-progress that could use some press in order to finish said project?
Are you thinking about making a comeback and need the right PR professional to make it happen for you?
|Copyright © 2009 FAB Communications, Inc. All rights reserved.


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Let's face it, after awhile we all get tired of playing one note at a time and practicing scales all the time. This has it's merit, but in these lessons we're really getting down to the nitty-gritty of great guitar playing.
Double-stops—or 2-note harmony runs—are critical to developing a much more well-rounded style and approach. In this lesson, you'll see how they can help you build a solo, and develop more musicality into your arsenal of licks and ideas.
First, I'll run through the scales and licks as single-note runs, then I'll take you step-by-step into the realm of the double-stop. Great guitar mysteries shall be unlocked for you!—Arlen Roth
Music lesson pioneer Arlen Roth is the quintessential guitarist. An accomplished and brilliant musician — and one of the very few who can honestly say he's done it all — Roth has, over the course of his celebrated 35-year career, played on the world's grandest stages, accompanied many of the greatest figures in modern music and revolutionized the concept of teaching guitar. Read More...


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Bank of America Corp will likely make more mortgage loans in the fourth quarter of this year than in the same period a year ago as it focuses on lending directly to consumers, Bank of America CEO Brian Moynihan said on Tuesday.
The second-largest U.S. bank by assets has been streamlining its mortgage processes to keep up with high volume, Moynihan said at an investor conference in New York.
Continue Reading Below
"We are not doing the job we need to do on mortgage yet," Moynihan said. "We know that."
In the fourth quarter of 2011, the bank made $21.6 billion in first mortgages after exiting the business of buying loans from other banks and mortgage companies.
(Reporting By Rick Rothacker in Charlotte, N.C., editing by Nick Zieminski)


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Sophie (2yo) is currently on a huge dress kick and wants to wear dresses all the time. Being winter here at the moment, she's pretty good about letting me layer her with multiple long sleeved shirts and trackies underneath (did I mention that she's currently anti-jackets/jumpers/hoodies/warm outerwear too?).
This is extending to sleepwear too, so I was on the hunt for cute knits when I stumbled upon this tute. Which was perfect, because I currently have a bag of t-shirts that I love too much to give away, but no longer wear.
I had some narrow elastic, I had some time to myself (not true, I made my husband entertain the baby), and as usual, everything took longer than usual…but it's done. In an evening! And I guess I can whip up more now I know how. I can only improve, right?
Time for bed. Goodnight, all, and send sleepy wishes my way so my 5mo will let me snatch more than 2 hour intervals tonight….


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ApplicantPro provides easy social media recruiting software for your company, without the risk!
Advertising your open positions is a core feature on ApplicantPro that we know drives traffic to your open positions and helps you to attract your next qualified employee. We believe that you don't need to limit your recruiting efforts to job boards alone. We believe that when done correctly, social networks can be a powerful tool in getting your jobs out to a larger audience and to help you find that next employee.
Recruiting on social networks can be tricky though. You don't want to create a bias or be accused of such. That is why we help you to spread the work without making you go into these site and chance seeing the potential applicants. With a few clicks within ApplicantPro, your jobs can be published to Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn.
You won't need to worry about your Marketing Department or your IT department; we won't use their space and we won't need their help. Our knowledgeable Account Managers walk you through our social media recruiting software every step of the way and make it happen seamlessly for you.


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A bit pressed for time this morning…
The Red Sox finished off a three game sweep of the Orioles with a 4-1 win yesterday. You can check the stories and recaps on the Red Sox Daily Links page. The Boston Herald also has their season preview for the Red Sox with the the home opener tomorrow.
It's probably worth checking in with the Clubhouse Insider and Extra Bases blogs today for updates on Coco Crisp's injured finger and David Ortiz's possible contract extension.
The Celtics clearly have entered "playing out the string" territory, as they suffered a lackluster 101-86 loss to the dreadful New York Knicks at TD Banknorth Garden yesterday afternoon. Mark Murphy has a recap of what was essentially a summer-league game by the time the fourth quarter rolled around. Kevin McNamara says that the struggles of his kiddie korps in the fourth quarter shocked coach Doc Rivers. Scott Souza observes that the Celtics played like a team "comfortably resigned to its fate". Steve Bulpett looks at the Knicks extracting a little revenge for the whipping the Celtics handed them the last time these clubs met. You can get the coverage from New York and their side of things on the New York Sports Pages.
Lenny Megliola isn't too happy with the current state of the Celtics franchise, expressing skepticism that this team can build successfully for the future. Tim Weisberg looks at the play of Gerald Green as of late, as the rookie has shown flashes of brilliance and given some hope for the future. Peter May looks at Big Al Jefferson's season of frustration likely being finished. Bulpett also looks at Jefferson being shut down for the remainder of the season.
Murphy's notebook looks at Tony Allen and Orien Greene attempting to hold down the point guard position after Delonte West left the game with a calf injury. May's notebook provides a recap of the loss, and a look at Gerald Green's showtime moments. McNamara's notebook has more on the season coming to an end for Al Jefferson.


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College Development
Tax efficient giving to Maynooth College
The tax-efficient ways of making gifts are as follows:
Republic of Ireland: Make cheques payable to Saint Patrick's College, Maynooth.
- Payments of €250 or more are Tax deductible.
- Under arrangements as of 1st January 2013, St Patrick's College can claim the tax paid on your gift of 31%regardless if you are a PAYE or Self Assessed taxpayer.
- Companies can still claim their donations as an allowable expense.
Northern Ireland & UK: Make cheques payable to Maynooth Educational Trust.
- Maynooth Educational Trust will reclaim the tax you have paid on your donation at the standard rate of 25%.
- On receiving your donation, we will provide you with a Gift Aid Declaration which you will sign and return to us, to enable us to reclaim the tax.
- In addition, if you pay tax at the higher rate, you can reclaim the tax difference between the 40% that you have paid and the 25% rate.
U.S.A.: Make cheques payable to Irish Educational Development Foundation (IEDF).
- Saint Patrick's College, Maynooth receives tax-deductible support from US benefactors through the Irish Educational Development Foundation Inc.
- Gifts made to the IEDF are deductible for US income tax purposes. The IEDF fulfils its duties and obligations as a US tax-exempt organization under section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Service Code.
St Patrick's College is continually developing and upgrading its facilities and services. Donations from the Friends of Maynooth is what makes our work possible.
The Friends of Maynooth enabled the College to build the Pope John Paul II Library in the early 80's. Since then every major building has been restored, culminating in the restoration of the College Chapel which is underway.
We would very much like your help. If you would like to become involved, you may contact the President directly:
Monsignor Hugh G Connolly
Saint Patrick's College
County Kildare, IRELAND


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Shamballa Crystal Teardrop Dangle Earrings by Minigems
Please choose from the options above to see price and availability.
Product Information (more info)
Manufacturer Description
This is a simple straight style handmade earring with a 9mm shamballa crystal teardrop hanging on a sturdy and strong stainless steel leverback.
Product Features
Stainless Steel Metals Strong Durable Construction Handmade in the USA Designed by Stephen Binder


text: Home » Games » FIFA 10 (X360 & PS3) FIFA 10 (X360 & PS3) Stuart Davidson September 28, 2009 Games Let's cut straight to the chase FIFA 10 is probably the most realistic football experience ever created on a console, with epic flowing action mirroring the real life game… the world's biggest sport. The most important point however is that FIFA 10 is an absolutely awesome game to play. FIFA 10 has been locked for years with Konami's Pro Evolution Soccer in a battle to become the defining football game of its generation and with FIFA 08 and 09 they set the ground rules for what was to come. Yes FIFA 10 has taken the mantle for best football game and it is actually that well rounded I find it hard to believe that this can be improved upon. The new features and additions in FIFA10 are numerous and when they are all combined add to a sum much greater than their parts. The biggest talking point however will be the 360 degree dribbling which finally removes players from the archaic eight point system that has been a mainstay throughout the years. The Ball physics are vastly improved and they react in a totally reliable manner – you don't see any weird trajectories anymore for instance and when you kick a ball in a certain way you are positive it will move across the plane in the manner you intended. This may sound like a small point but in real world terms it makes a huge difference to the overall experience. One of the most noticeable improvements however is the improved artificial intelligence which results in a game that behaves more realistically, players are now able to lunge at the ball in last ditch attempts and strikers will have more awareness 'off the ball', rather than traveling in preset directions like robots. There is also a new practice set up that makes a debut in FIFA. This is available from the arena section prior to the start up menu and allows for set piece practice and free kick options. This is nothing new to some other football games but it is the first time it has been implemented into FIFA and the game comes away all the stronger for it. Individual stars also get an injection of real life personality into their virtual models with players like Wayne Rooney from Manchester United actually playing the game just like he would real life. These little nuances go some way into instilling a feeling of actually being in the game rather than being a watcher from the sidelines – very few football games have had player personality in the past and this is a massive selling point – all the little individual AI traits throughout the teams. Equally so, while the English premiership teams in the game act with more flair and ball skill, the lower leagues behave as you would expect, with much grittier, tougher games being played out before your eyes. All the players and all the teams have the correct names and kits and this even translates now to the Dutch national team. Live Season 2.0 is a massive improvement over the last version and it brings all the live data from the world of football which means gamers can take hold of their favourite teams and alter their path! In practice this is as good as it sounds with weekly updates offering the option to change the course of the previous weekends results however this is a paid for service which might leave a sour taste in people's mouths. Whether you love them or loathe them, EA always release games with the highest level of interface polish and FIFA 10 make no exception to this rule. The UI is well designed and looks like something you would experience on a SKY HD TV box via the interactive menu system. The level of quality shines throughout with the EA network of official licensing systems all being expertly incorporated into the game. The heart of the game is the same as before as you attempt to achieve success as a manager by achieving your specific teams board requirements which range from huge ambitions with teams such as Arsenal or Chelsea to more modest desires from the lower division clubs – such as being able to avoid relegation. The goals are as lofty or as modest as your own. Be A Pro makes its 2010 debut with a raft of improvements such as My Virtual Pro. Using EA's Game Face Technology, players can create a football player in their own image and build up attributes over a period of time. This adds a great facet to the game with Role Player elements at the fore and the ability to move your player across all the modes is a stroke of genius. You aren't forced to lose 'yourself' once you move outside the original mode which will appeal to a huge audience. Manager Mode has also been updated to offer a long lasting single player experience with the mistakes from the last time being effective nulled to ensure that no errors and unfeasible scenarios will crop into the scenarios. Graphically we already mentioned the new physics incorporated into the game and the level of texture detail and modeling is also improved on the last incarnation – which is quite an achievement when you consider the maturity of the technology in both 'next generation' consoles today. On an audio level the game is slick and has all the crowd ambience you could hope for with voiceovers handled by Andy Gray and Martin Tyler, two of the leading British Sky TV commentators. FIFA 10 is pretty much the perfect football game and EA do deserve some credit for consistently improving the experience over the years to the point now when I find it hard to believe it could actually get much better than this. The list of minor improvements all combine to create a product which is much superior to the last version and is a sports game that will be a firm favourite in parties for the next year. This is as slick as it gets and I can highly recommend it to all football fans. Gameplay 96/100 FIFA 10 has just taken virtual football to a whole new level. Graphics 88/100 Overhauled in most of the key areas. High profile players look great. Audio 92/100 Andy Gray and Martin Tyler handle the commentary and they do a great job. Ambience is spot on. Value 95/100 Manager mode adds a ton of replayability and game time. Online is great with improved matchmaking. Overall (Not an Average) 95/100 The best football game we have played. Will be hard to top. Share On


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Most parents describe discipline problems as if they are �coming out� of their kids, that the problems in question reveal facets of their kids� personalities � things like �strong-willed.� The fact is that in nearly every instance, discipline problems with a child tell more about the parents than they do the child.
Take �my child is argumentative,� for example. Arguments between parent and child occur because the parent gives explanations for decisions he makes.
�My friend is coming over and I�d like to serve coffee and talk with her in this room, so I�d like you to pick up your toys and move to another room� is likely to evoke �I was here first!� or �Why can�t you talk with your friend in the kitchen?� And the argument is on.
The form of the instruction is the problem. The parent should have simply said, �I want you to pick these toys up and move them to another room. Why? Because I said so.� Yes, I know that�s horribly old-fashioned, but the use of authoritative, non-explanatory instructions along with those very �incorrect� four words prevented many an argument in those old-fashioned days. And allow me to point out that parent-child arguments benefit no one, no matter who �wins.�
�My child won�t do what he�s told� is another example of how parents fail to realize their role in a discipline problem. Children will do what they are told � most of the time, that is, but that�s at least 80 percent. The reality is that most of today�s parents don�t tell. Instead, they plead, bargain, bribe, cajole, reason, explain, encourage, suggest, and promise. When none of that works, they threaten. And when that doesn�t work, they scream. Then they feel bad and go right back to trying to be �nice,� meaning pleading, bargaining, bribing, and so on.
A �tell� is an instruction that uses the fewest words possible and, again, is devoid of explanation. A �tell� is not �I think you�ve been up long enough, and it�s obvious to me that you�re getting overtired, and I think it�s important that you be alert for tomorrow�s test, so how about let�s go to bed, OK?� The proper form is �It�s time for you to go upstairs and get ready for bed.� Why? Because you said so.
Then there�s �my child won�t leave me alone.� That simply means the parent in question has failed to define and enforce a boundary in the parent-child relationship. The parent complains that the child interrupts constantly and asks for one thing after another, but the reality is that the parent has never said to the child �You�ve got your nerve coming to me for something as trivial as that. I am not your servant. I am your mother, but the fact is you don�t need a mother right now, and I�m not going to be one.�
I heard those very words from my mother on several occasions. Several was all it took. And by the way, that sort of reprimand did not �traumatize� me, nor do I need to speak to a counselor to �resolve� conflicted feelings concerning my mom. I have no conflicted feelings about her. Today�s mothers �not all, of course, but way too many � don�t set clear limits on their children�s access to them, then complain that their children won�t leave them alone. Under the circumstances, it�s understandable that their children treat them as if they were vending machines.
The long and short of it is, your child is a mirror. Look carefully at the image reflected therein.
Family psychologist John Rosemond answers parents questions at johnrosemond.com.


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Michelle Heaton: "My little girl will get me through this"
AN emotional Michelle Heaton has written about her double mastectomy op for the first time.
It feels like a weight has been lifted. I'm still shaky and emotional and I keep crying
The Liberty X babe, 33, admitted it is "heartbreaking" that she is still too frail to cuddle her 11-month-old daughter Faith.
But she spoke of her relief after having both breasts removed to save her from a life-threatening mutated gene.
Writing in her Closer magazine column, she said: "It feels like a weight has been lifted. I'm still shaky and emotional and I keep crying.
"It's the feeling of the unknown. I'm so relieved the operation is over, but I have to take each day as it comes as there are still so many side-effects."
The singer was told she had an 80% chance of getting breast cancer. She had the op last Tuesday but is still too nervous to look at her reconstructed boobs in a mirror.
Husband Hugh Hanley took Faith in to see her the day after.
Michelle said: "It's the hardest thing in the world not being able to hold your child.
"It's going to be a long and emotional road ahead, but my little girl will get me through this."
Read Michelle's column in this week's Closer or visit closeronline.co.uk.


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As a new initiative, I am spending some of my leisure time on understanding Machine Learning with the help of MS ML Studio. I will be posting multiple blog posts for next couple of weeks. So stay tuned......
Microsoft Dynamics AX Eagles
Sunday, February 19, 2017
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Retail Replenishment in Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 R3
Inventory Replenishment is the key to Retail business. Retailers often struggle to automate fulfilling the future need of customers and with the nature of retail business, this often gets more complex. In this article, we will not be talking about how to get to that future need because this is where Demand Forecasting in Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 R3 comes into play. Our focus would be to see how Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 helps retailers to adopt different replenishment techniques to acquire products and support anticipated need.
In Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 R3, inventory for a store can be replenished via Cross Docking, Buyer's Push or normal Purchase Order processing. Cross Docking is a warehouse management process where shipments arrive at inbound dock, get unloaded and then taken to the outbound dock to deliver out. This saves the storage and cost associated. Buyer's Push is used where a centralized purchasing department gets the shipments and then the inventory is distributed (pushed) to individual ....Read more
Sunday, September 21, 2014
Publish Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 Client using Citrix XenApp
Citrix XenApp like Windows RDS is used to provide virtual access of a machine desktop or different applications running on a system from a wide range of computer systems and mobile devices. Applications on central servers can be hosted using Citrix XenApp studio which enables their secure mobile access from the user devices remotely.
Cirtix Receiver is a component needs to be installed on the devices to access the published applications. Different versions of Citrix Receiver are there for specific devices and operating systems.
In this blog we are going to see how we can enable the access of Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012 through Citrix XenApp 7.5. If you have AOS and Citrix XenApp configured on different machines, you need to install Dynamics AX client component on Citrix XenApp machine.
After the installation of AX client component, we are ready to add it in Citrix application delivery groups by following the below simple steps.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Microsoft Dynamics AX Technical Conference 2013
The Microsoft Dynamics AX Technical Conference 2013 is the premier technical event for Microsoft Dynamics AX. This November 12-14 at the Microsoft Campus you'll hear the latest buzz about Microsoft Dynamics AX. Whether you are new ... Read more from this link http://www.axpulse.com/microsoft-dynamics-ax-technical-conference-2013/
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Tuesday, July 9, 2013
AXPulse launches News Bar for Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012
Stay up to date with the latest organization and business updates. Setup news for a specific legal entity or for specific date intervals using the standard MS Dynamics AX 2012 UI. You can also change news font color and size, order of displaying the news in news bar. The news bar is displayed and refreshed automatically on Microsoft Dynamics AX rich client work space, so your employees can get updated news every time they log into to Microsoft Dynamics AX.
More information can be found from http://www.axpulse.com/product/news-bar/.
More information can be found from http://www.axpulse.com/product/news-bar/.
Monday, July 8, 2013
AXPulse to launch News Bar - A product for Microsoft Dynamics AX
AXPulse is going to launch News Bar for Microsoft Dynamics AX 2012, a product that will let you stay informed of recent business updates, organization announcements from within the AX application work space. News bar is an integrated solution which is easy to deploy, configure and use.
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Listen, folks. Regular blogging might be a problem for me. It's true. In the world of Amazing Bloggers, I may or may not be a hit and miss in the dark... the twice-a-year-post kinda blogger... the person you've totally forgotten about because the moment I started raising a child, suddenly life was all "HOW DO PEOPLE HAVE TIME TO WRITE AND RAISE OFFSPRING??" and yoga pants and copious amounts of a caffeine...
BUT all those failed posts aside, getting my yearly "Five Best Books" post down has never been a problem. I guess I like hearing myself talk about favorites. Sue me. So although it's February, and long past the acceptable time frame for: I'm-so-late-but-I'm-doing-this-anyway, I give you, my 2015 All Stars (in no particular order):
1. All the Stars in the Sky, Sarah Lyons Fleming
She's chosen to believe everything will be all right.
But on a journey filled with heartbreak and madness and zombies, Cassie and her friends must struggle to stay alive—and it's hard to believe in a future when survival seems unlikely.
Speaking of STARS (hardy, har!)... All the Stars in the Sky totally rocks the zombie apocalypse universe, you guys. In fact, you might have noticed that Sarah was on my All Star Team for 2014 as well. What can I say? This chick-a-dee is like an oracle. I devoured this book... TWICE... and could easily pick it up for round three with no problems whatsoever. This story isn't just about zombies... it's got a cleaver and machete stompin' story line too! And I'm in love. If you're in for an apocalyptic book that you CAN'T put down, try out this series!
2. An Ember in the Ashes, Sabaa Tahir
Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear.
It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire's impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They've seen what happens to those who do.
But when Laia's brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire's greatest military academy.
There, Laia meets Elias, the school's finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Elias wants only to be free of the tyranny he's being trained to enforce. He and Laia will soon realize that their destinies are intertwined—and that their choices will change the fate of the Empire itself.
I'm in love with everything about this book.
This book kinda makes me wish I lived in back-in-the-day Rome. But only if it was like this... Dark magic, a school for bloodthirsty soldiers, a rising resistance, and a mom that makes every other evil step mother look like a chump, schoolyard bully. I loved every page!!
3. Tiger Lily, Jodi Lynn Anderson
Fifteen-year-old Tiger Lily doesn't believe in love stories or happy endings. Then she meets the alluring teenage Peter Pan in the forbidden woods of Neverland and immediately falls under his spell.
Peter is unlike anyone she's ever known. Impetuous and brave, he both scares and enthralls her. As the leader of the Lost Boys, the most fearsome of Neverland's inhabitants, Peter is an unthinkable match for Tiger Lily. Soon, she is risking everything—her family, her future—to be with him. When she is faced with marriage to a terrible man in her own tribe, she must choose between the life she's always known and running away to an uncertain future with Peter.
With enemies threatening to tear them apart, the lovers seem doomed. But it's the arrival of Wendy Darling, an English girl who's everything Tiger Lily is not, that leads Tiger Lily to discover that the most dangerous enemies can live inside even the most loyal and loving heart.
Perhaps it's because I, too, found myself irrevocably in love as a tender teen, and had my heart broken into a million tiny shards, but this book savaged my soul. "It's not for lack of loyalty," Tink says, as she looks back on the memories of youth that still feel like yesterday, "It is just that she was fifteen once for the first time, and Peter walked across her heart, and left his footprints there."
Readers beware... it's not a strictly happy ending... but it IS the best kind of sad resolution. This is for anyone who ever had a broken heart!
4. Uprooted, Naomi Novik
Agnieszka loves her valley home, her quiet village, the forests and the bright shining river. But the corrupted Wood stands on the border, full of malevolent power, and its shadow lies over her life.
Her people rely on the cold, driven wizard known only as the Dragon to keep its powers at bay. But he demands a terrible price for his help: one young woman handed over to serve him for ten years, a fate almost as terrible as falling to the Wood.
The next choosing is fast approaching, and Agnieszka is afraid. She knows—everyone knows—that the Dragon will take Kasia: beautiful, graceful, brave Kasia, all the things Agnieszka isn't, and her dearest friend in the world. And there is no way to save her.
But Agnieszka fears the wrong things. For when the Dragon comes, it is not Kasia he will choose.
I'm just gunna say it straight: Novik is basically the Queen of Poetic Writing. This book is so beautifully written, it kind of makes me sad I didn't write it. Magic, intrigue and a budding, unlikely romance, this story is flawless!
5. Six of Crows, Leigh Bardugo
A convict with a thirst for revenge.
A sharpshooter who can't walk away from a wager.
A runaway with a privileged past.
A spy known as the Wraith.
A Heartrender using her magic to survive the slums.
A thief with a gift for unlikely escapes.
Kaz's crew are the only ones who might stand between the world and destruction—if they don't kill each other first.
This one actually kind of reminded me of Brandon Sanderson's Mistborn. It's like Ocean's 11 meets fantasy, and I loved it! Twists, turns and an intriguing multiple POV telling of the ultimate heist! But be warned: it's NOT a standalone. Yeah. Which is what I thought until the last page. At which point I almost lost it, knowing I'd have to wait for a sequel to find out what happens. Curse you, Leigh Bardugo!
6. The Illuminae Files, Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff
This afternoon, her planet was invaded.
The year is 2575, and two rival megacorporations are at war over a planet that's little more than an ice-covered speck at the edge of the universe. Too bad nobody thought to warn the people living on it. With enemy fire raining down on them, Kady and Ezra—who are barely even talking to each other—are forced to fight their way onto an evacuating fleet, with an enemy warship in hot pursuit.
But their problems are just getting started. A deadly plague has broken out and is mutating, with terrifying results; the fleet's AI, which should be protecting them, may actually be their enemy; and nobody in charge will say what's really going on. As Kady hacks into a tangled web of data to find the truth, it's clear only one person can help her bring it all to light: the ex-boyfriend she swore she'd never speak to again.
Told through a fascinating dossier of hacked documents—including emails, schematics, military files, IMs, medical reports, interviews, and more—Illuminae is the first book in a heart-stopping, high-octane trilogy about lives interrupted, the price of truth, and the courage of everyday heroes.
What "Top Five" list of mine would be complete without an Honrable Mention!? I didn't specifically label it as such, however, on account of I couldn't decide WHICH of these should be demoted to a mere honorific status. So I guess that technically makes this my Top SIX Books of 2015, but tomato tomah-tow, right? HA!
I won't lie... I was totally skeptical about the Illuminae Files at first. The format is definitely unique, and I worried it'd turn me off the story.... Oh contrare! Just the opposite, my friends! The email/IM/text/photo format actually gave the story more of an impact. And FYI, it's totally worth the hardcopy purchase, JUST for the visually stunning cover art. Just sayin'.
Don't be scared, you guys, give this one a try... you'll be glad you did!
And that's my list! 2015 was a fabulous year for reading, and 2016 is already keeping me busy, as I'm in the thick of things with Pierce Brown's Red Rising series. (Ohmyheart... AMAZING. You can bet it'll be on next year's list. Not even a question!) If you like these and wanna know what else I'm kickin' around, be sure to follow more of my reviews on Goodreads!
So what about you, you perusers of my blog, you? What books totally knocked your socks off last year? I love a good recommend!


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Another Summer, Another Step In The Bucket
Sitting here in a Saskatoon Starbucks on a beautiful June day, I know that I'm lucky. I do. Once again, I have hit the hammerhead cross-Can trail to serve as a hired gun for Ali McCormick, and to play a few of my own tunes along the way. Touring is a strange beast. I remember the first real tour I went on was with Joel Plaskett across Middle-Ontario as a social media video guy in 2010. I remember thinking that every town seemed so bright and different, and that it was a bit circus-y and wild, but I was in love with all of it. Every moment. Every venue. Every smell in every room. Every joke in the car.
A few tours later, both as a video guy and a musician, I feel a little differently about the big, bad beast of Touring with a capital snaggletooth T. It's a bear. It really is - and you don't even realize how tired you are until you sit somewhere. The adrenaline you gain from playing gives you a shot of superhumanity, but that few hours of power is counteracted by the stasis of the road. The waiting. The smell of a stale car and multiple people sleep-breathing. And even after you've packed and re-packed the car, there is never...NEVER...enough legroom. You notice the idiosyncrasies of your fellow travelers like you never have before - and it all gets a bit squirrely at times. But after you do it, you feel like you've been through something. You've cut your teeth on some kind of life test, and you form bonds that connect to the fibres of your very being.
I've been thinking more about existence more than I ever have in the last many months, and the endurance marathon that we all run in the wild, scuttling, careening ride of this life. And man - I have been through some shit! I have been through some dark nights of anxiety and worry and unrest. Struggle. Hardship. Brokenness. Divorce. Deaths - some young, some old - but all of them uniquely difficult.
And I'm also lucky to have been through the weird social dramas I've been through. Friend break-ups. Rumours. Gossip mills. People going their separate ways and allowing bitterness and negativity to run their anger machines. It's unfortunate that those passive-aggro cellar dwellers don't understand that if they don't do the work, and don't have the balls to awkwardly and nervously and PERSONALLY confront people in life, when shit gets weird, they are going to rot their existences away in a bitter exile. Because it will always be their worldview that wins - and 10 times out 10, the fault will never lay with them. The world will be against them. And it's sad. And you miss those people. And it sucks to have circular, cyclical conversations with those people, but it's the unfortunate road that some may take. Patterns are hard to break.
But I'm here - and lucky for all of it. To have been through those lulls and hurts and blows and lows - and to really be in a position to appreciate when things are alright - at least for the moment.
And I'm lucky to miss someone. Man, am I ever. And to somehow have digitally stumbled into the best person I have come across in this life, who is ready to embrace me and be embraced back when I get home after 12 days of travel is an amazing thought. I want to spend a day smelling her face and hair. It's tough to step in the bucket, and really commit to that fastball when it comes down the pipe. Nobody wants to swing hard and miss. But when we do take that step down the baseline, and take a massive cut - and we connect with that pitch - the result is pretty otherworldly. J and I are not waiting for anyone or any timeline - we are truly building a life together. And it's pretty damn brilliant.


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Greek food delivery in Inverness
When in Scotland, sometimes it's nice to dream of the sunny Mediterranean. Sun, sea, sand and gorgeous food - and what's better than Greek cuisine when you're looking for a bit of sunshine in your life? At Deliveroo, we may not be able to transport you to a Greek isle, but we can bring gorgeous restaurant-quality Greek food directly to your door. You don't even have to leave your sofa to order fabulous food with us.
We've teamed up with Greek restaurants across the city, and listed their menus for you online. In fact, we've done all the hard work for you, apart from choosing what you want to eat. With so many great dishes to opt from, that could be the trickiest part of the process for you! When you have decided, just order online through us and we'll get your delivery dropped off as soon as we can.
What's on the menu?
Find your favourite Greek food in Inverness with Deliveroo
Greek is a great choice of takeaway, and being able to order it from your favourite restaurant guarantees you'll get optimal quality, with minimum hassle. Vegetarian delights or meat feasts – no matter what you're looking for from your Hellenic dining experience, you're guaranteed to find it. Greek cuisine is very diverse, but always focuses on fresh produce, seasonal vegetables and a simple cooking method that leaves all of the flavour intact.
If you're looking for a meaty treat, then you're in luck. The Greeks take their meat very seriously and have a number of ways of cooking it. Souvlaki (translated as skewered meat) and gros (spit-roasted meat) are presented in similar styles: tender, tasty morsels of different meats served on warmed pitta bread with tomatoes, lettuce, onions. Don't forget to include the delicious Greek dips that are always popular, including tzatziki (cucumber and yoghurt) and taramasalata (a distinctive pink dip made from fish roe).
If you're vegetarian, you can find lots of meat-free versions of classic Greek dishes, such as moussaka. For dairy-lovers, a dish like saganaki would be a treat, as it consists of deep fried cheese. Don't forget the ouzo to go with your meal!


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Kent State journalism faculty 'embarrassed' by university's secretive presidential search
Akron Beacon Journal | The Daily Kent Stater | When Journalism Fails
Faculty members from Kent State University's School of Journalism and Mass Communication took out an ad in student paper The Daily Kent Stater Tuesday to protest the university's search for a new president. Officials destroyed documentation of the search, saying it had "turned over all records that are relevant," Carol Biliczky reported in the Akron Beacon Journal earlier this month.
"We're embarrassed by our administration's refusal to disclose public records related to the recent presidential search," the ad reads. "And we're troubled over credible news reports that some of these records may have been shredded to avoid public inspection."
Kent State's decision to withhold these records may violate the Ohio Public Records Act. And though only a court of law can decide the legal issues, the administration's decision to ignore the principles of transparency raises serious questions of ethics.
At the School of Journalism & Mass Communication, we instill in our students a reverence for open government and the right of a free press and public to engage in the oversight of government agencies. It is our duty to do this.
Kent State's decision to withhold information about the presidential search teaches the wrong lesson to students. It also sends the wrong message to our friends, our alumni and Ohio taxpayers.
Kent State "signed a contract addendum giving its private search firm, Storbeck Pimentel and Associates of Media, Pa., the power to decide what records are released to the public," the Beacon Journal reported. "As a result, when the Beacon Journal and other media asked for public records showing how the $250,000 in taxpayer and student tuition money was spent, the university deferred to Storbeck Pimentel, which declined to deliver documentation that normally would be available."
"You can now appreciate the frustration with a culture of groupthink secrecy and evasion that would be comical if it were a black-and-white slapstick that didn't implicate public dollars," the Daily Kent Stater wrote in an editorial published Sunday. "How is Kent State's search to be audited? How the hell do we know how they spent the money?"
"Although I'm embarrassed by and ashamed of my employer, a university that thumbs its nose at Ohio's public records law, I'm proud of Kent State student journalists pushing for transparency and for holding university officials accountable," Karl Idsvoog, who teaches in the j-school, writes in a blog post.


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Latest Posts
Happy Holidays
"We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give" Dear Forgotten Dog Foundation friends and supporters, We can't thank you enough for all your kindness and generosity over the past eight years, helping us to save dogs in need. We rescued almost 600 dogs this year, some […]Read More »
IMPORTANT: Flip the Trend WARNING
IMPORTANT! WE HAVE NEVER BEEN INVOLVED WITH FLIP THE TREND, NOR DID WE EVER AGREE TO SPONSOR ANY FREE GIVEAWAYS THROUGH THEM. We only learned of who they were after someone inquired where their dog beds were. They are, without our consent or permission, using our good name and reputation to create false offers. Please […]Read More »
This Little Dog Was Found On The Streets Of LA Right Before She Gave Birth
Bridgette, a little Chihuahua, was homeless, covered in fleas, wandering the streets of Los Angeles in the 100-degree heat — and she was enormously pregnant. "It was very obvious to anyone that saw her that she was VERY pregnant," Linzi Glass, executive director of The Forgotten Dog Foundation, told The Dodo. "She had a huge […]Read More »


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Product Specifications
- Material: Cotton Fabric
- Internal: Viscose Lining
- Front: Fully Button Closure, broad design collar, button cuff
- Pockets: Front two side pockets, inside pockets
- Quality Stitching throughout
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A Walk Among the Tombstones Liam Neeson Jacket
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