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One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Scrambling Like Scrambled Eggs
Sonja Morgan said it best when she peered through her lazy whiskey eyes and declared, "There is a pecking order." In New York, in life, and even in the South Pacific, a giant chicken in the sky sits and waits to peck us all off of our pedestals one by one by one. You, the tiny shy one, buk buk buk b'kaw! You, the spindly nerdy one, buk buk buk b'kaw! And down tumble the weak and feeble. Not so fast Chicken Little. When you have a soldier of God marching around with "GUACAMOLE" tattooed on his shin, pecking orders get shuffled, friends become enemies, lying is verboten, and the tangy taste of tears taints even the juiciest of fruits. This carnival of chaos, this house of mirrors if you will, is officially open. Come one, come all. Today's special is scrambled eggs. Grab your bibles and your pitchforks. Let's recap, shall we?
For the sake of today's blog, I took a very scientific approach in choosing Elyse's new nickname. I plugged her full name into the Native American Name Generator and it pooped out Makawee Liluye which means "Mothering Singing Chicken Hawk That Soars.". In the interest of brevity, Elyse will henceforth be known as ChickenHawk. Too bad her name isn't Colette Lala though. Mystic Young Beaver has a nice ring to it. Naturally, I expect each and every one of you to tell me your Native American Name in the comments.
We continue our South Pacific nightmare on Savannah (Savai'i) where a gentle breeze blows and a wide-eyed ChickenHawk (Elyse) stares in awe at our glistening sea god, Ozzy. "Were you always so big and strong and outdoorsy?", she coos. "Uh, no", he replies. She whispers, "Really? Wow. How did you pick it up you big strong sexy hunk of man meat?" Meanwhile, lurking creepily in a nearby tree sits Mary Jane (Jim). Through blank eyes and a toothy grin, Mary Jane wonders if perhaps there is more to the ChickenHawk/Ozzy friendship than he initially thought. Maybe they're tighter than the "3+2-an ounce of the finest Northern Lights this side of Amsterdam" plan. ChickenHawk was always supposed to be peripheral eye candy. She was never meant to be inside the circle of trust. Mary Jane buffs his teeth with a cloth soaked in Clorox and decides he has no choice now but to plot her demise. He can't do it alone though. He'll need a partner.
Enter Cochran. Standing in the leaves being mistaken for a twig, Cochran. Mary Jane approaches and reveals how he thinks Ozzy might be secretly targeting him in effort to appear "invaluable" to the tribe. It's a flimsy reason crafted out of thin air, cotton candy, and dreams. Ozzy is already invaluable to the tribe and it has nothing to do with whether or not Mary Jane is in the game or back at home dealing weed to all those damn hippies. Cochran doesn't trust Mary Jane as far as he can throw him (2 inches), but he likes hearing other people's names come up for discussion and ChickenHawk is as good a name as any. Mary Jane's grand master flash plan is to get rid of ChickenHawk and cripple Ozzy. Apparently, ChickenHawk is the calcium in Ozzy's bones and without her he'll be reduced to using a walker with tennis balls on the bottom of it for the rest of his life (and a Rascal for long distance traveling). Cochran and Mary Jane engage in some gentle sparring and a deal is made. Mary Jane gets to call himself an architect for another few days (alright, Costanza) and Cochran gets to slither his way out of the Not So Beautiful People group. It's a win-win.
Over at Impala (Upolu) an ominous bell tolls in the distance. Ding, Dong, Ding, Dong. A bat flies out of the belfry as young Brandon sits in the smoke of a dying campfire dwelling on the game he's voluntarily put himself into. It all seemed so innocent on TV - so godlike and so fun! But now, here, in it - its nothing but balls of fire, thorny women, and a feast of lies. After much contemplation and prayer, Lil Hantz has decided that from here on out he will play the game of Survivor free of lies and deception. His mission now is one of truth, justice, and the American way. First things first, Brandon has to undo all the evil he's already done. First up is an apology to Mikayla. "I let my loins, I mean temper, get a hold of me. I shouldn't a done that." Mikayla nods quietly to herself and blames Brandon's behavior on his famous uncle which makes about as much sense as playing football in your underwear.
Brandon crosses "Apollagize to that hore" off of his list and then heads off to make amends to another unsuspecting victim. It's that tiny sprite Edna sitting all by herself in the hut. Brandon sits across from her, takes a deep breath, and says, "I know I'm screwing this up for myself, but you should know that the people you trust hate you and want you dead. Sorry you had to hear it from me. Friends?" Edna blinks a few times and responds, "So I'm not in an alliance of 6?" Already feeling the goodness well up inside of him, Brandon exclaims, "Nope!" He waves goodbye to a weeping Edna and skips off into the distance. Once alone, he crosses "Crush Edna's sole" off of his list. This "being good" stuff is a piece of cake. God must be super proud of him now!
Over on Savannah a very strange basket of bathing suits arrives along with a tree mail telling them to send two people to Rhode Island (Redemption Island) to witness the duel. I call the basket o'suits "strange" because, and correct me if I'm wrong, haven't the Survivors always had bathing suits to wear? I realize my memory is about as accurate as all of Mary Jane's clients, but I swear I've seen Survivors in bathing suits before. Anyhow, everyone's got a spankin' new suit and poor soccer mom Dawn is beginning to feel the weight of her age. I'm not sure why a flattering pair of boy shorts makes her feel older than a Warren Jeff's skirt does, but, hey, to each her own.
In the meantime, Mary Jane is busy coming up with another looney smoke and mirrors plan to make the Impala's think that the Savannah's are weak. It's has something to do with the Pythagorean theorem and the price of cheese of Wisconsin. Who knows? Ozzy half listens to what Mary Jane is saying then stretches catlike and yawns, "No strategy. Chill out bro." ChickenHawk giggles and smacks Ozzy on the ass. "Oh you!", she exclaims. Dawn catches Ozzy mocking Mary Jane and wonders to herself if maybe "No strategy" really means "Yes strategy". Her no muss no fuss hairdo is telling her that Ozzy has probably been strategizing all along. He just doesn't like it when others strategize. You could be onto something there Dawnie Pooh.
And this brings us to the big duel at Rhode Island. It's Christine Rachel Wood v. Nurse Jackie (Mark). We have Brandon and Edna representing Impala and Cochran and Mary Jane representing Savannah. Before the battle to the death can begin, Brandon has some business to take care of if you don't mind. "Christine Marie Combs, I'm a man o' God now and I'd like to 'pologize fer my behavior. I played ruthless but I've turned over a new testicle, I mean leaf. I hope you do well." Young Hantz smiles to himself and begins crossing off "Tell that old lady I feels bad" from his list. Before he can finish, Christine Ian Black says, "I don't know if I buy it." Like Joan Crawford discovering a wire hanger in the closet, Brandon's lips go thin and the list begins to crinkle in his hands. Edna slowly shifts away while Brandon tries to nonchalantly hide the steam coming out of his nose. Oh dear. Looks like we're back to square one.
For today's duel, players will toss sandbags onto crates. The first person to successfully get one bag on each of the ten crates will live to see another day. The losery loser gets to go home. Survivors ready, go!
The bags begin a' flying and both players land their first crate. Christine Michel Basquiat shoots flawlessly up to her fifth bag while Nurse Jackie began screwing up at bag two. Toss, toss, toss, Nurse Jackie finally begins to make some headway, but in the end it was too little too late. CHRISTINE PATRICK FLANNERY STAYS ALIVE!!!
We bid you adieu Nurse Jackie. The odds were never in your favor when you ended up on Savannah. You probably would have lasted a hell of a lot longer had you been on Impala. Sorry buddy. Laters. And uh, shoot some scrips my way when you get a chance.
Back at Impala, Edna has decided to take it upon herself to win her way back into the tribe's good graces. With a smile on her face and a song in her heart, she tries to wrestle the shirt off of Rancher Rick's back in an effort to wash it. "You want me to wash it? I'll wash it. It feels stiff. I should wash it. Here, give it to me. Scrub, scrub, scrub - that's my middle name! Tee hee hee. And later, sucky sucky!" A wave of secondhand embarrassment washed over me as I watched Edna flit back and forth making coffee, giving manicures, polishing grains of sand, and laughing at unsaid jokes. Spacey (Stacey) and I looked at one another and just shook our heads. Coach, however, finagled a massage out of it all and I'm willing to bet there was a happy ending involved. Good for you Coach!
So while Rick was getting scrubbed and Coach was getting rubbed, Spacey said more words than I've ever heard her say in the history of Survivor South Pacific. Please to enjoy: "It just lahk ricocheted an' ran an' the girl go awn an' awn an' awn an' awn. D'she have a off switch? Ah don't think she have a off switch. She nee' ta be disconnected. Dat wut she nee' ta be! Dis-co-nected." Spacey, where have you been all my life? That was beauteous.
Meanwhile, with her broken 'off' switch, Edna moved to the water and is now sucking on the teat of Mikayla. Sure, she had to fight Brandon off with a stick, but she got there and now she's going to milk it for all it's worth. Pun intended. "Are you a model? What do you model for? TV, print, books, magazines, porn, movies, sides of buildings, what? Tell me. You're on the cover of things? That's so cool! I'll have to go look for it. Oh my god, I should get your autograph. It's neat when models do model-ly things cuz I could never be a model, but you're a model and wow I can't believe I know you. For real! Sucky sucky?" I'm sad we missed the conversation where she pestered Rancher Rick on how to kill a buffalo, but if I use my powers of imagination I think it would go something like this: "Oh my god you killed a buffalo? Really? That's so cool! What did you kill it with? Did you give it a name? If I could name a buffalo, I'd name it Sparky. Isn't that funny? Sparky. Haha hee hee! How many bullets did it take to kill Sparky? Did he cry? Oh my god did you make hamburgers out of him? I'll bet those were delicious. I only eat birdseed and blades of grass, but that sounds yum. Take me hunting with you one day, Rick. Sucky sucky?"
Over at Savannah, Cochran has finished the complicated math equation of 1+1=2. It is numerically impossible for him and Mary Jane to get ChickenHawk out of the tribe with only two people on their side. They need to pull in others and that batshit crazy lady running around clipping coupons and getting the kids ready for the talent show looks like a good possibility. Cochran tells Dawn that he doesn't think Mary Jane is ready to get rid of Ozzy just yet. Dawn whispers, "ChickenHawk!" And there you go. Cochran and Mary Jane now have a third. Only, don't tell them that 3 is less than 4 (Ozzy, ChickenHawk, Whitney, Energizer Bunny (Keith)) or else tonight's meatloaf could get burnt. But hey, it's a good start. The scales of justice are slowly beginning to tip in the underdog's favor.
And now we arrive at the big Immunity Challenge. Come on in guys! For today's challenge three members of each tribe will stand with a pole across their shoulders. In each round, weight will be added to that pole. The decision about which tribe member gets that weight will be made by the opposing tribe. When the weight becomes too much to bear and your pole drops, you're out of the challenge. Last person standing wins Immunity and a Reward of live poultry for their tribe. Survivors ready, go!
For Impala, we have Lil Hantz, Albert, and Spacey. For Savannah, we have Mary Jane, Energizer Bunny, and Dawn (huh?). Both tribes start by targeting the strongest: Albert and Energizer Bunny. Brandon and Mary Jane get picked next with Spacey and Dawn picked last. With the magic of television, time elapses and Brandon and Mary Jane quickly acquire over 200 lbs each. Faces grimacing, leg shaking, this is clearly a "Who wants it more?" challenge. But hark! Is that an ass shelf I see? Shoulders schmoulders! Spacey is taking the "bootay" route and resting that pole right on the junk in her trunk. And it's not booty, it's bootay I'll have you know. I like big butts and I cannot lie...
Poor Energizer Bunny has a bum ticker and a small ass so it's no surprise that he falls first. What was surprising, however, was the quick exit of Albie. I figured with his chesticles, he'd breeze through this and be the hero of the day. But alas, it wasn't meant to be. Kaboom! Buh bye Albert. I was sad to see him fall, but I was also thrilled to witness his anger. "Dammit! Dammit!", he bellowed. That's the most we've heard out of Albert all season! Time ticks on and bootay master Spacey seems to have things under control, but Mary Jane and Brandon are struggling. Mary Jane can't stop growling and I think all the weight has made Brandon a few inches shorter. Spindly Dawn begins swaying in the wind and I'm pleasantly surprised by her determination.
The weight continues to grow and like dominoes the last of the men are out. We're now down to Spacey and her badonkadonk and Dawn and her... uh cardigan and knee high socks. I figured with Spacey's caboose we'd be here til next Tuesday, but it wasn't meant to be. If you hadn't seen it for yourself you wouldn't believe me, but DAWN WINS IMMUNITY!!! Wow. Victory well deserved, lady. Now, when's dinner gonna be ready?
Back at Impala, the mood isn't all that sparkly, but Spacey is confident. Her ass kicked some ass in that challenge and there's clearly no reason to keep that chatterbox birch twig Edna around, right? Coach gathers his team in the locker room and delivers a moving speech of inspiration, "Let's not get down. We'll uh keep our heads up and we'll live to see another day. Onward and upward. Be aggressive. B-E Aggressive. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. (Oh Sheila) You're in good hands with Allstate. Break!"
Spacey may be confident, but Edna is not. A little tiny voice on her shoulder is telling her that there is a chance she could be going home tonight. She turns to Spacey for advice and Spacey looks at her like she has 3 heads and a tail. Good thing for us Spacey is about to air her grievances, "Edna is awn a easter egg hunt! She is scrambling like scrambled eggs in a hot skillet right about now. Whatdyou think? You ain't tawked ta me since day one! Now all of a sudden you wanna tawk to me!" At home I said "Hmm mmm, you go girl." "And them bones, bones, bones, skeleton too much, you can't win with all bones. Too many bones." I'm not exactly sure what she was saying there, but I waved a lighter back and forth anyways.
After some deep thought Spacey decides she "gotta lie to kick it". I think that translates to "mess with these triflin' fools heads". And mess with them she does! Her target is the saintly young Hantz. In one swift motion, she tells him to watch his back and that his alliance isn't all it's cracked up to be. Brandon panics and asks, "You mean Sophie, Albert, and Mikayla?" Spacey stands in stony silence. Well, that's as good as a "yessiree bob" as far as Lil Hantz is concerned. He runs to Coach and reports that their alliance is imploding. They're all plotting! Mayday! Mayday! Coach smacks himself in the head and, in a very un-Coach like way shouts, "Stop it! Just stop it!" *giggles* It was awesome! Things like common sense, logical thinking, and connecting the dots prove to be way too much for Brandon to absorb so he gets up and walks away from Coach, but not without leaving him with one last little dig. Brandon asks, "Tell me, how many people have screwed you the past two times you played this game?" How dare you! See, now if that were me, Brandon would have been history. Not only was it a slimy thing to say, but it reeked of untrustworthiness. You can't trust people who have digs in their pocket ready to throw at you. Coach should have slit his throat right then and there. I really hope that keeping this punk kid around doesn't screw up Coach's game. For an alliance based on trust, it looks more like a colander than the Prudential Rock Of Gibraltar.
And now we arrive at Tribal Council. Spacey defends her performance in the challenge while Coach nods in agreement and says she has the "warrior spirit". The conversation turns to strength and I kind of hoped someone would flick Edna into the fire with their fingertips, but instead Sophie talked about physcial strength versus strength in numbers. Now, I don't know if Dimples was bored with the way the conversation was going, but he started questioning everyone on what they find most annoying in one another. It was weird and unnecessary. The only thing accomplished by it was getting Albert and Rancher Rick to say a couple of words. Other than that, not a fan of the word games, Dimples.
When it came Mikayla's turn to speak she said that Brandon was a "good boy", but he's got that evil Hantz blood running through his veins. First off, wake the fuck up Mikayla. I mean, seriously. Your career is knocking people down with brute force. Why are you so squirrely when it comes to sitting around the campfire? Is it the flames? Is it Dimples? Is it that story about the golden hand? Tell me!
Thankfully, the flames don't make young Brandon clam up. As a matter of fact, the flames are a reminder of all the evil he's witnessed. Burning, burning, smoldering evil. Fire and brimstone evil. The fiery embers glow and out comes Brandon's word vomit. In the form of tears. Hurray! "Temptation. I love my uncle with all my heart. Boobies. I'm proud to be a Hantz. Sucky sucky. I just want to be someone that God is proud of." *sniffle sniffle* Seriously kid, you've got issues.
After a vote I don't entirely agree with, Spacey is the 4th person voted out of Survivor South Pacific. So, what do you guys think? Should Edna have been voted out instead? Will Brandon eventually turn on Coach? Can Mary Jane and Cochran reel in any more new alliance members? What's your Native American name? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
34 comments:
Pannoowau (my name)...great post as usual...is it just me or are they placing too much time with young hantz? he really is boring me to death..wrong to get rid of spacey she was a strong girlReplyDelete
I too am thus far disappointed with Mikayla. Some of it's got to be the edit too--I mean we hardly know anything about her. And yes, Brandon will turn on Coach--I mean, he already has! He just f'd up Coach's side squeeze setup by telling her there is no alliance of six. And last week he tried to get Coach to vote out the lingerie 'passing forward' by directly lying to him and the entire gang.ReplyDelete
....If Coach loses, it will be largely due to Lil-H. I hope the rest of the alliance sees what a loose canon he is. Lil-H was funny at first, but now he's just turning into a very sad/ugly version of Pretty Pony. I'm done with him.
oh and sweeeeet!
Your name means:
Blood Red Laughing Maiden.
Rock my f-ing socks off!!!!
- AnonymousOctober 6, 2011 at 5:43 PM
If you re-submit long enough, I'm sure you'll get Mystic Young Beaver to come out of the Native American Name generator for Elyse. It's random.ReplyDelete
As Edna showed she was willing to tongue ass deeply to stick around, I'd sure keep her around longer than Stacey. Women, geez. You can't stand whores and gigolos. What's a guy to do with you?
My name is Kimi Sheshebens....which I think would also be a good porn name. However, it means "Secret Small Duck".ReplyDelete
Loved the Costanza reference. Architect! ha ha
That batshit crazy lady running around clipping coupons....
And her with her uh....cardigan and knee high socks. too much!
I think it was stupid to get rid of Spacey also. I really hope that Cochran and Mary Jane can get more people. I'd love to knock Ozzy off his pedestal. He's coming off as really arrogant to me and I don't like it.
Why did anonymous have to rain on our Native American Name generator parade? It's way more fun to pretend like that's really our name.
Wahchinksapa Kosumi - Wise One who Fishes for Salmon with SpearReplyDelete
I have to agree with you about the Coach/Brainless (Brandon) dynamic. For me, had I been in Coach's place, that would have been the kid's last chance with me. I would have called a meeting and chastised Brandon and made a motion that he be sent to Redemption Island (his bedroom) to think about what he's done. And, following the whole "God Loves Me" idea, if God willed it, he'd get back in the game. Really, who would have gone against a move like that? Stacey didn't want to go home, Edna didn't want to go home, and pretty much everyone else thinks Brandon is Bat-Shit.
I like intelligence in this game. Whether it's for "good" or "evil".. I don't care.. And the one person I think has the potential to show some intelligence is Cochran, but he's just not doing it. Seriously, you did the whole sucky sucky routine with Edna, but that's pretty much what Cochran is doing. He needs to forget about being a "supporting cast member" and become an evil mastermind. Instead of avoiding Ozzy (arguably the leader of the tribe), he needs to have a sit down with Ozzy and appeal to his vanity of wanting to play strategically. Make one small plan, and if it's successful, Ozzy will come back and be like.. "Ok, what's next"... and then Cochran can begin to use the only gift he supposedly has, and that's his so-far-absent intelligence.
Someone mentioned the amount of time being placed with Hantz... I think that "Christianity" has become an archetype in this game. notably, I think Matt Elrod introduced the philosophy of how a strong religious belief can impact a person in this type of game. He, of course, did nothing outstanding in the actual game, other than dominate Redemption Island. But, even that was made into a huge deal on the frontlines of the higher power belief system. Now, this season, you have the kin of the Satanic Russell, who is supposedly a Christian. So, that's why they're spending so much time on it.. it's a double whammy... His bloodline and his religion at war with each other. Who can deny that it's creating a buzz?
We can all agree, I think, that Survivor has strayed from being a reality game show about Survival in every sense to being about sensationalism.
Exact Repeating Tongue wants to admit he was wrong about Dawn.ReplyDelete
Vandalyzed I respect your opinion but pleases don't make generalizations such as "we can all agree ." we don't...ReplyDelete
Meoquanee Sheshebens AKA Red Wearing Small Duck says: Russell Hantz is like one of my all time favorite survivors and Brandon Shit-For-Brains is like my least fave ever. I don't get why they keep making such a big deal that they are related when they are nothing alike. It is just so dumb and such a reach for a story.ReplyDelete
Three cheers for no plate breaking challenges yet this season!
Coach sucks, Ozzie sucks, I like Stacey, but I can't understand her, I hate ChickenHawk, Brandon sucks, The Morman is so life-coach-clam-shell weird. And no one else is really doing anything. Still this season seems alright...
and I am way in love with Cochran. Omg. With a passion <3 So hot.
@prettyplainjo--agreed about Johnny-C! More, more, more. ...But I think the best way for him to stay in the game is for Savaii to dominate all challenges until the merge. Really.ReplyDelete
oh--and I FORGOT about Coach's weird idea to give Spacey a hug as he sends her off to death row. Too funny. ...Gives me some hope that the 'old' coach is still lurking around in there somewhere.
And OH!!! I will have to buy a new case of glitter to celebrate while I watch that awesome new pass-the-meat challenge next week! It looks a-maz-ing!
Faithful Deer Jumping Downhill. That's me alright.ReplyDelete
I am going to believe this truly was/is my name. Since I was born on a reservation in S.D. and worked @ IHS (Indian Health Services), I am going to stick with it. My husband is rolling his eyes at the "faithful" part but what the hell, the deer jumping downhill could be me. ;-)
I was surprised to see Stacy go too but can anyone admire her social game? RI should be interesting next week with 2 friends going at it.
I agree, either Ozzy is getting an odd edit or he's lost his personality along the way. And Cochran COULD be a factor but when you have been bullied (more than likely) your whole life, would be hard to step it up and be dominant in anything? Edna, yeah, on my last nerve. Would love to hear from Papa Bear. I liked him and didn't want to see him go.
Fav part? Gotta be reference to the meatloaf again. It gets me every time! She's so the meatloaf type.
Well, Big Collette, you did it again. You totally rock at this shit!
Must I get a Native American name? After how wrong my fairy name went, I don't have a good feeling about this...ReplyDelete
Yes Jen. It's a requirement now. Do it and report back.ReplyDelete
Remind me again, what was your fairy name?
- Wild Flower Dancing BirdOctober 6, 2011 at 11:07 PM
Brandon's native name should be Crying baby Creeping Predator.ReplyDelete
"but hark! Is that an ass shelf I see?"ReplyDelete
I love you, Colette Lala. You make me laugh with each installment.
-signed, Makkitotosimew Shuman, aka large- breasted rattlesnake handler
Makkitotosimew Wauna = Large Breasted Singing Snow GooseReplyDelete
My name sucky-sucky!
But your blog is awesome as usual!
- Jimmy RhythmOctober 6, 2011 at 11:54 PM
Anonymous is just sore because his NA name came up as Imoto Bawowu, or "Greasy Small Testicles".ReplyDelete
Another great recap, Lala. I think Coach is happy to have Li'l Hantz around because it makes him look normal. Usually by this point in the game, as early as it is, I'd be rolling my eyes and shouting at the screen, "Why haven't you gotten rid of that loony yet?", but I'm actually pulling for Coach this go round. I'd love to see a jury try to come up with questions for a Coach-Cochran Final 2.
I do have to question the hate exhibited by Christine and Stacy. WTF, ladies! Both of you wanted someone else out of the game as much as someone else wanted you gone! It's the way the game is; there can only be one winner. Quit acting like you're 5 years old!
Yr Friend, Apenimon Kajika (Trustworthy One Who Walks Without Sound)
- AnonymousOctober 7, 2011 at 9:01 AM
Loved the recap, as always! L'il Hantz has some serious skeletons in his closet that haunt him continuously. Wow!ReplyDelete
As for my Indian name, we match up well together!
I'm Bimsi Kachada, which means Slippery White Man. I think that goes well with Mystic Young Beaver if you ask me! ;)
I may be a little late, but at least I'm getting it done. Anpaytoo Tis-See-Woo-Na-Tis. Which means, Radiant Woman Who Bathes With Her Knees. I'll take it.ReplyDelete
Awesome blog, as usual. I'm sure everyone at work is wondering why I'm chuckling to myself.
Tall Wild Dove - ha ha, that name thing is jacked-up (as Spacey would say...).ReplyDelete
Hey did you notice that one interview with the chick holding the coconut drink with a flower in it, I swear I spotted a straw too. It's like Club Med out there in fucking Samoa. Can you tell I have a resentment!
Lil Hantz is a big bag of crazy, and you may not think that the Uncle Hantz relation would have any impact on him... But, tellin ya... after living with Big Hantz in looser lodge for a month, I can very well see where the whole family might not be running on all cylinders... cause frankly, I've never seen anything like that Uncle. Ass hole.
Anyway, thanks for my weekly laugh-out-loud time.
I havent watched this weeks episode yet, but couldnt wait to read your blog.. Loved it.. Great as always..Sucky sucky.. kills me!!! My Native American name is Charitable Bird with Big Beak.. How that damn interweb site knows that my nose is almost Karl Malden like, I will never know..ReplyDelete
- Morning Plucked FlowerOctober 7, 2011 at 5:19 PM
Love the "ass-shelf" ~ now that's laugh out loud funny.ReplyDelete
I'd love to get your input on the group hug that Coach suggested everyone give Spacey before Dimples extinguished her torch. I don't think I've ever seen that on Survivor. I could have told them that she wasn't having any part of it. Weird.
Your thoughts?
- AnonymousOctober 7, 2011 at 6:05 PM
Pannoowau Kwatoko here (Lying Bird With Big Beak), quite a name,no?ReplyDelete
I am not at all surprised that Stacey is gone - who else? Wasn't it originally between her and that triple name chick anyway? What I WAS surprised to see, however, was that both tribes have fishing gear at this point in the game. Wasn't it supposed to be earned/won? Nobody looks like they've lost any weight either. SO maybe Ms Kell there has a point - it does look like Club Med there in South Pacific.
- kandeekaneOctober 7, 2011 at 11:50 PM
WTF? Kakawangwa Meda. It means Bitter Prophetess. That is actually pretty funny cuz I looked up what a prophetess is and it means, a woman who speaks for God. I am actually quite the opposite, I won't say anything further in that regards but the bitter part is pretty right on.ReplyDelete
I'm glad Spacy is gone, she was a bitch. I like Edna but that yakaty yakking of hers was getting on my last nerve. Funny how she thought that by being overly friendly and asking people questions about themselves was going to put her in better with her tribe when in actuality it annoyed the piss out of them.
I actually like Coach so far this season which is very unusual cuz I have despised Coach with every fiber of my being in his last 2 seasons and I actually threw something at the TV when they showed the previews of him on this season. I am SICK of returning contestants. SICK, SICK, SICK to death of them.
OMFG have you seen who the person is on the CBS website show 'Around the World for free'? It is that stupid bitch Poverty (Parvati) I don't watch it but I do watch other shows on their website and they play her ad like 50 times during the commercials.
Great blog as always. I was laughing my ass off as usual.
That Native American name thing is a little weird. First it gave me Yanisin Wuyi (Ashamed Soaring Turkey Vulture) then since I didn't like that one, I tried it again and it gave me Ahiga Machakw (Fighting Horny Toad). I just figured it'd be the same.. lolReplyDelete
I completely skipped the whole "What's annoying about this person" thing. They're supposed to cause the drama. Not the host. I think it was a good idea to get rid of Stacey, just because she seems to be able to tell when some people are lying or not. Though, it seemed like she didn't believe anyone. I just wish she had gone around and tried to stir up drama with everyone. Not just Brandon. Maybe she did, they could have just cut it out. I like Albert a lot. He talked in one tribal council when Christine tried to out Coach about trying to evict her, and Albert sounded incredibly smart. Forget Brandon turning on Coach, I want Coach to turn on Brandon. I don't know why people think he's so interesting, but I don't. I have no clue why Coach would even want him around. All he does is screw up his own game. I'm glad Mary Jane realized maybe having a Sea God like Ozzy around isn't such a good idea either. The 2 + 2 hotties are getting close though. I just don't get, if Keith knows Ozzy has the idle (upper hand) Whitney knows too (Ozzy doesn't trust her to tell her himself) Mary Jane, Cochran and Dawn all know they're on the outs: WHY DON'T THEY GET RID OF HIM?? It drives me nuts with these people. Anyway, my pick to win though is the Cowboy guy. I'm shocked every time he's on the show since I think "Who the hell is that?" sucky sucky XD Keep up the great posts!
- DiabolicalOctober 8, 2011 at 5:55 AM
Nukpana Lenmana which means "Evil Flute Girl" well they got the evil right, but I am not musical at all...unless they're referring to a skin flute.ReplyDelete
Great blog again LaLa, love your work! I was surprised no one commented on Edna taking off her buff to hand it to Lil' Hanz when he started crying. He looked at her as if to say "what the fuck are you giving that to me for you crazy bitch? If I wanted to snarf on a buff I'd use the one I'm wearing". That was just God awfully awkward.
Totally agree about getting rid of Ozzy. He appears to have become an arrogant arsehole since getting some notoriety and fan veejayjay. After last season I didn't think the veterans had a hope in hell staying in this game but it appears that these people just never ever learn.
LOL ~ skin flute. Nice.ReplyDelete
Kristina, now I am very gullible and I pretty much believe everything I read (well almost . . . for example I don't think there is this guy in Liberia willing to mail me 15K if I sent him 2K) so I am assuming you are THE Kristina Kell from last season. So welcome and I have some questions 'please to answer' (God, I'm now talking like Ms LaLa). What the fuck was up with those boils on Russell's armpits? That sight had to be good for any diet. And was he as arrogant as the edit showed? And did he really think with his reputation anyone would believe a thing he said? Lastly, how long were you in therapy after a month with Russell?
My Indian name: Matwau Bodaway, the enemy fire maker O_oReplyDelete
BTW, great job with the Ebonics...its was hilarious
Well, it says my Indian name is Apenimon Pahana, Trustworthy Lost White Brother. Well, allrighty!ReplyDelete
I fear for Christina Bowles Parker's fate with Spacey going to RI, that bitch looked pissed! Yeah, they light have BEEN friends, but this shit is gonna get fucking serious up in here! May the Lord have mercy on the rest of the tribe if she gets back in the game, Judgement Day might just be around the corner for them (especially Coach).
Clearly getting thrown out of the tribe must bring clarity of mind, Spacey figured out Coach was running the show? Damn, we hadn't noticed.
Lil' Lucifer worries me, that boy just ain't right.
As always, great blog Lala, you slay me!
Nukpana Cocheta which means "evil stranger". I like it. :]ReplyDelete
Coach needs to get rid of Brandon. He'd make a good patsy if only he weren't so unpredictable and sketchy. You never know if he's going to feel a bout of paranoia and fuck the vote up or something.
Love MJ- I love his devious car salesman smile and the idea of he and Cochran working together?! I've been loving Cochran from the beginning! I almost peed myself with excitement in lieu of my giddy go-to, the breast/glitter dunk, as I had run out of glitter ;_;
Spacey should have stayed- Edna drives me nuts and I wish she'd leave. Spacey's ass shelf- both impressive and scary.
P.S. This comment was brought to you by the letters THCXANAX, so, sorry if my writing was less than coherent.... I should go to bed.
Sour Vine Growing Around an Oak Tree. Good lord. I asked my friends, they said it fitted me well enough.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 9, 2011 at 10:20 AM
Just to clear some things up:ReplyDelete
Dawn can benchpress 180. So her spot at the challenge was justified.
Albert slipped up at the challenge. He was resting one arm, bent over. The pole slipped back, and he couldn't catch it in time. That's why he was so suprised and angry.
I am not seeing where Cochran is smart anymore. He already stated he doesn't know how to do the complicated puzzles(he's only book smart, I assume. Like Lawyer David). And by how the show edited currently, it's almost like he wasn't even in an alliance with Dawn or Papa Bear either. And since Keith and Whitney are a pair, and Ozzy and Elyse are a pair, there's no way Jim's plan is gonna work. So I don't see Cochran surviving another tribal.
- Friendly One of the Mysterious VoiceOctober 9, 2011 at 2:10 PM
@ Kristina Kell:ReplyDelete
Fact#1: The Earth revolves around the Sun.
Fact#2: Debbie Harry is the hottest female to have existed on said Earth. Thanks for the pic, K.
...sorry, too drunk to come up with anything tonight...
maybe cliche asian prostitute?
me luv you long time?
naaah, fuck it, I need a drink...
CUL8TR Alligatorrrrrrr...
- yours trulyOctober 11, 2011 at 8:56 PM
Those whacky Native Americans. Are these names or a contest to see how many letters of the alphabet can be used?ReplyDelete
Matwau Heskovisenako = Enemy Porcupine Bear
Ok, I have a few bare prickly moments but I'm unaware of any enemies.
Nice recap Lala, as usual. I'm off to dip my quills in glitter so that I might confuse strangers about my secret hateful self.
Don't rub me the wrong way.
- AnonymousOctober 13, 2011 at 8:39 AM
Awendela Mansi = Morning Plucked FlowerReplyDelete
Doesn't my hubby wish!
Great blog as always LaLa!


text:
Sunday card
BOS SU 1 unit
I smell a trap here and I will take the hook !, Bean boys off a mini VayK in FLA! Markstrom to start , FLA home record 2-6 , BOS road record 6-2
PHO SU 1 unit
I'll fade CAL tonite after taking them yesterday . PHO plays with sand paper something CAL wants , PHO road record 2-5 , CAL home record 3-7
DET pkl +1.5 1 unit
I think this could be the best game today, yes there is no value in this wager, VAN will not have Bieksa tonight , Luongo vs Howard should be fun!
Good luck to everyone!!!!
Originally Posted by ValdyK16:
I like your TB pick , PIT average at home this year and no Malkin
Good Luck Finesfan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sunday card recap
Det pkl +1.5 1 unit Win
Bos Su 1 unit Win
Pho Su 1 unit
sunday record 2-1
Good looking picks tonite Finesfan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday card
PHI SU 1 unit
NAS SU 1 unit
EDM SU 1 unit
Good luck to all tonight !!!!!!!
Monday recap
PHI su 1 unit loss
NAS su 1 unit win
EDM su 1 unit loss
mondays record 1-2
Good call on not hitting the damn button ! The hog town team might be winning right now ":L<>?? all just smoke and mirrors!
sorry big guy the post above I hit the wrong quote , you hit a good card last night!!
Tuesday night card 02 26 2012
DAL SU 1 unit
WAS SU 1 unit
MIN SU 1 unit
Still looking at the peg and buff will upated by 5:00 pm if adding plays
Good luck to all !
Thanks Fines , I missed your picks Tuesday, reason I followed your thread was no B S, no hype , just solid picks to build units, not quite sure why this thread is a disaster ,( post# 287) if you do start a daily let me know.
wednesday card 02 - 27 - 2013
NAS + 1.5 pkl 1 unit
MON SU 1 unit
WAS + 1.5 pkl 1 unit
Good luck to all !!!!!!!!!!!!!
wednesday card recap
WAS pkl + 1.5 loss
MON SU Win
NAS pkl + 1.5 loss
wednesday record
Thursday Night Card last day of february!
Upset NHL THURSDAY'S !!!
STL SU 1 unit
DET SU 1 unit
NYI SU 1 unit
Good luck ERBATIZ, FINESFAN

subset: commoncrawl


text:
20722 Surnames | 136036 Records | 2772 Reunions
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Subject's Country: South Africa
Date: 1901-1920
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Comments: Lane (Nee: ) | South Africa | 1901-1920 | Comments: This group portrait appears on page 532 of The Canadian Horticulturist, vol.25, no.12, December, 1902. Please see that reference for more details. This was a group of Boers and Burghers selected by Lord Milner of South Africa to inspect commercial centers around the world and then report on their findings. They were especially interested in agricultural practices. That is all the information I have on this picture. I am not researching these lines, just saw the photo and thought I'd post it.
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Idoit40fans wrote:I can't imagine that he or either of the above players mentioned would be the best skater if they were playing against ex college and junior players, unless they were like 15 years removed from playing college/junior.
you would think but what it really shows is how good elite level (and anybody in the NHL IS elite level) athletes are. ex-college and junior players are REALLY good but anybody who gets to the NHL level, even if they're just a fighter or enforcer is going to be even better. until you play with those people, and I've had the good fortune of playing with some former pros, ECHL and NHL you don't really realize how far above they are from the average beer league player.


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The Home of Fashion Film and Live Fashion Broadcasting
Report by Lou Stoppard on 28 June 2013.
This was about letting light and beauty in - realised in a literal way at the start of the collection when three models in colourful prints appeared at the high windows of the show space and flung open the doors, letting the parisian sunshine stream in. Other pieces, loose in silhouette, came with hazy square prints that resembled actual windows, while some finishes suggested the fine frost and condensation that collects overnight on a pane of glass.
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"Despicable, unconstitutional, ridiculous, immature, idiotic, and mendacious." That's how Tennessee newspapers characterized the state's "ag-gag" bill awaiting the governor's signature.
Ag-gag bills criminalize whistleblowing that exposes animal abuses, unsafe working conditions, and environmental problems on factory farms.
Instead of encouraging whistleblowing and preventing these violations, ag-gag laws ensure that consumers and regulatory authorities are kept in the dark.
Iowa, Kansas, Missouri, Montana, North Dakota and Utah have enacted ag-gag laws, but such bills were defeated in eight other states, thanks to an outcry from the public and newspaper editors.
In 2013, new ag-gag bills were introduced in Arkansas, California, Indiana, Nebraska, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Vermont and Wyoming. The language has been invariably drafted by the infamous anti-consumer American Legislative Exchange Council (ALEC).
Thirty newspapers and 60 national animal protection, workers' rights, public health, food safety, and environmental organizations have gone on record recently as strongly opposing ag-gag bills.
Each of us who feels that our government must never restrict our right and obligation to know where our food comes from should urge our state legislators and governor to oppose the ag-gag bill.


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text:
The Home of Fashion Film and Live Fashion Broadcasting
Report by Lou Stoppard on 24 February 2013.
Despite the Jaipur-inspired bling, the meat of this collection was classic Italian Armani. Those same watery tones and clean lines that have become so synonymous with his work were present as ever. Indeed, everything seemed extra-specially light and fluffy this season.
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text:
JUPITER, Fla. - Adam Wainwright fought to hold back his emotions.
"Usually I am not at a loss for words, but the city of St. Louis means so much to me that it's taken me a little bit to get it out," said Wainwright, who is from Brunswick.
Wainwright will be staying with the Cardinals for a while after agreeing Thursday to $97.5 million, five-year contract covering 2014-18. The deal, the largest for a pitcher in team history, raises his guaranteed income to $109.5 million over the next six seasons.
"I feel like my heart is in St. Louis," Wainwright said, surrounded by family, members of the Cardinals' front office and his teammates. "I love it there. I love driving to the field and seeing the arch, driving up and seeing the amazing Busch Stadium. It's a treat to work there every day and it's something that continues to take me off guard and make me feel like I am way too blessed."
At one point Wainwright called his young daughters up to the podium for a hug of support. He also embraced Cardinals Chairman Bill DeWitt Jr. and General Manager John Mozeliak. Wainwright saved some of most emotional remarks for brother, Trey.
"The guy who taught me how to play baseball," Wainwright said, his voice trailing off
Wainwright had been eligible to become a free agent after the World Series. He gets $12 million this year under his previous deal, and the new agreement announced Thursday pays him $19.5 million in each of the following five years.
The 31-year-old righty was 14-13 with a 3.94 ERA last year after missing the Cardinals' World Series championship in 2011 because of elbow surgery.
Wainwright was 20-11 with a 2.42 ERA in 2010 and was an NL All-Star.
Under Wainwright's previous contract, he was guaranteed $15 million from 2008-11, and the Cardinals had options for $9 million in 2012 and $12 million in 2013 that had to be exercised or declined simultaneously.
Wainwright is 80-48 with a 3.15 ERA during his eight-year major league career, all with St. Louis. He is 2-0 with a 2.48 ERA in 13 postseason appearances with four saves.
With Chris Carpenter dealing with a potential career-ending nerve issue, Wainwright enters the season as the Cardinals' unquestioned ace.
"This would be empty if I didn't thank Carp for what he's done, teaching me the mentality of a pro, professionalism, and tenacity," Wainwright said.


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Agile project management tool company VersionOne has addressed "agile scaling" challenges for programmers who need to more efficiently link development execution with business strategy. Well OK, so that's ALL programmers; but what the firm has done is try to simplify program planning with the addition of custom reporting built in to a PlanningRoom.
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Sheet music downloads have become the preferred method of acquiring classical music repertoire. Created by professional musicians, EveryNote.com presents classical sheet music download of over 20.000 popular and hard-to-find music scores over 1000 composers. A major Internet provider of classical sheet music files download online, EveryNote.com offers the largest and most complete digital sheet music download library on the Web in the world. Instantly download, view and print your favorite classical music score. Everynote.com currently offers thousands of classical music compositions for Piano, Violin, Cello, Flute, Clarinet, Classical Guitar, Voice, Chamber and Choral music.Many more instruments, composers, genres added every day! EveryNote.com has been featured in The New York Times, Globe and Mail, Musical America and many other publications.
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Description:HP 200/400GB Ultrium LTO-2 460Internal Carbon Tape Drive Option Part# 311663-001
Overview:The HP StorageWorks Ultrium 460 Tape Drive is the latest generation of HP Ultrium Tape Drives delivering a capacity of 400 GB (assuming 2:1 data compression) on a single cartridge. Reinforcing HP s leadership position in tape it builds on the success of the HP StorageWorks Ultrium 230 and HP StorageWorks Ultrium 215 drives offering the same broad compatibility support for One-Button Disaster Recovery HP StorageWorks Library and Tape Tools utilities for manageability and legendary HP support. With a transfer rate of 60 MB/sec the Ultrium 460 is the ideal choice for enterprise-class data protection needs particularly where the backup window is shrinking. The Ultrium 460 Tape Drive is fully read and write compatible with first-generation Ultrium Tape Drives while setting new standards for performance capacity and reliability in the superdrive market. As part of the four-generation LTO Ultrium open format the Ultrium 460 is the best choice for long-term investment protection.


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Clear Self Adhesive Laminate
Self-adhesive plastic, transparent film on peel-off paper backing. Useful for protecting drawings and prints. Acid free, archival safe. Non-yellowing, won't fade. Remove cleanly. Non-glare surface. 13.5 sq. ft.
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NFL Playoffs — Wild Card Recaps: Packers, Texans Win Wild Card Round Games
The Green Bay Packers and Houston Texans each won in the Wild Card round of the NFL playoffs on Saturday. Here's a recap of each game:
Green Bay 24 — Minnesota 10
Aaron Rodgers threw for 274 yards and a touchdown, and the Packers' defense victimized Vikings' back-up quarterback Joe Webb for three sacks and two turnovers, as Green Bay beat Minnesota, 24-10, in Green Bay on Saturday night in the wild-card round of the NFC playoffs. As a result of the win, the Packers advanced to play the San Francisco 49ers in San Francisco next Saturday.
After the Vikings scored on Blair Walsh's 33-yard field goal with 9:26 left in the first quarter, the Packers surged back with 17 unanswered points before halftime, including a 3-yard scoring run by John Kuhn with 0:38 left in the second quarter.
Webb, a last-minute substitute for injured Minnesota starter Christian Ponder, completed just 11 of 30 passes for 180 yards in the game. He also ran for 68 yards, often after being flushed from the pocket by the Packers' pass rush. After falling behind by as much as 21 points, the Vikings were unable to use star running back Adrian Peterson as often as usual. He finished with 99 rushing yards on 22 carries after gaining 199 yards against Green Bay last Sunday.
Kuhn scored a 9-yard touchdown reception with 9:25 left in the third quarter to all but put the game out of reach for Minnesota. The Vikings didn't score again until Webb connected with Michael Jenkins on a 50-yard scoring pass with 3:39 to play.
Green Bay linebacker Clay Matthews had two sacks of Webb and forced a fumble that he recovered. DuJuan Harris ran for 47 yards and a score for the Packers.
Houston 19 — Cincinnati 13
Arian Foster ran for 140 yards and a touchdown, and the Houston Texans beat the Cincinnati Bengals, 19-13, in Houston on Saturday in the wild-card round of the AFC playoffs. With the victory, the Texans advanced to play the New England Patriots in Foxborough, Mass. next Sunday.
Using the running of Foster to set up scoring opportunities, Houston jumped out to a 6-0 lead, before Cincinnati scored its only touchdown of the game on a 21-yard interception return by Leon Hall with 9:30 left in the second quarter. Shayne Graham's third field goal of the first half gave the Texans a 9-7 lead at halftime.
Foster's touchdown with 10:31 left in the third quarter extended Houston's lead to 16-7. He became the first player in NFL history with at least 100 yards rushing in his first three postseason games. The Texans' stingy defense sacked Bengals' quarterback Andy Dalton twice and kept Cincinnati from the end zone in the second half.
The Bengals gained just 198 yards on offense in the game. Dalton passed for just 127 yards, while receiver A.J. Green had five receptions for 80 yards.
Houston quarterback Matt Schaub completed 29 of 38 passes for 262 yards. Tight end Owen Daniels caught nine passes for 91 yards.
[Stats and Scores via NFL.com]


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Cadillac Cars For Sale in New Hampshire
Choose a used Cadillac car to view listings of used Cadillacs for sale in New Hampshire near you at UsedCarsPlus.com. Search through New Hampshire Cadillac classifieds for the perfect used Cadillac car in New Hampshire. Choosing the right model can be tough, so we let you view and compare each classified ad for all Cadillacs for sale. Click on a link below to view the full classified ad for each used New Hampshire Cadillac for sale, with full car pictures, descriptions,options & features, and more.
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Pick a used Cadillac that's right for you -
Your current mission is to decide which used Cadillac car to buy. But how? There are so many used used Cadillacs to choose from! There are so many different car Cadillac models to choose from that it can sometimes be overwhelming when shopping for used cars. With the media, dealers, and manufacturers constantly inundating you with images of you behind the wheel of every car, it's enough to make your head spin. Here, we will give you some tips to help lead you to a buying decision.
Choose a used Cadillac you can afford -
You have to know much you can spend before you can determine what Cadillac you can afford. The worst case scenario here is you making bloated car payments for the next five or six years. A good rule of thumb is 20% of your net income can be used for your used Cadillac car payment.
Choose a used Cadillac that you NEED -
Now you'll want to do is assess your needs to determine what kind of car you really need. For example, if your car will be used mostly for daily commuting and errands, then a used Cadillac compact car may be your best choice. Will you be hauling a lot of stuff? There are plenty of used trucks and vans from which to choose in the used Cadillac inventory. There's a lot to choose from, and a lot of factors to consider when choosing a used Cadillac.
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|USA > California > Central Coast > Los Padres National Forest (Northern) >
|[ Medium resolution ]
Panorama of Coast Ridge above Partington Ridge nr4
How to navigate inside QuickTime VR scene: Hold down mouse button and drag in the scene to change your viewpoint. Zoom in by using the Shift key, zoom out with Ctrl key. In some browsers the left and right arrow keys are easier and faster for controlling your point of view in the scene.


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On Saturday night Osiris held the global premiere of their full length video, Never Gets Old, to a packed house at the TransWorld Skatepark. People came from all over the globe for the premiere night of catered food and beverages in the VIP room, plus an open park to get their skate on before showtime. The video premiered around 7:00 and featured banging parts from Taylor Bingaman, Chad Bartie, Jamie Palmore, Kellen James, Caswell Berry, Lee Yankou, Peter Raffin, Corey Duffel, and JT Aultz. The entire Osiris squad was on hand for a night that never got old as people stayed late for the festivities. Check the photo gallery below for pics from the night.
If you missed the premiere party be sure to visit skateboarding.com for an exclusive, 24-hr online premiere of Never Gets Old on Monday November 12. After that we'll be dropping the individual parts weekly, and have a download of the full video in December.


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Happy Halloween Quote Pictures
The word 'Halloween' has originated around the year 1745 and has been heavily influenced by the Scots and the Irish. The word has its roots in the Scottish term for 'All Hallows' Eve' which means 'the evening before 'All Hallows Day'. The term 'eve' means even in Scottish and this was shortened to 'een'. As time passed this 'All Hallows Eve' evolved into what is
known today as 'Halloween'. All customs related to Halloween have been inspired by the folk beliefs and customs of Celtic-speaking regions. Though some have traced the origin of this event to the Roman feast of Pomona, the goddess of seeds and fruits and yet others to the festival of the deadit is majorly linked to the festival of Samhain associated with the Celts.
Enjoy our collection of free Halloween images below!


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European Union financial services chief Michel Barnier, who has already won caps on banker bonuses, is seeking to give shareholders a veto over the pay packages for executives at publicly traded companies.
Barnier published measures today that call for shareholders throughout the 28-nation bloc to vote on remuneration policies for company directors at least every three years.
"It does leave you with a pretty bitter taste in your mouth when you see the excessive level of pay in certain cases," Barnier told reporters in Brussels today.
Barnier's push for more shareholder control of remuneration adds to a salvo of EU moves to rein in bonuses. Since the outbreak of the 2008 financial crisis, the EU has agreed to ban banker bonuses of more than twice fixed pay, and approved pay rules for managers of hedge funds and other EU investment vehicles known as Undertakings for Collective Investment in Transferable Securities, or UCITS.
The Barnier plan would also require companies to give annual reports on the application of their remuneration policy, giving the shareholders a chance to register concerns about pay structure.
National governments have made "insufficient progress' in giving shareholders a binding say on remuneration, according to the commission, leading to an uneven patchwork of practices.
A total of 13 EU countries empower shareholders to vote on pay. France and Austria are among EU countries where no such right exists, while in nations including Italy and Spain the vote is non-binding, according to commission data.
The proposals are ''more onerous in some respects'' than similar rules introduced in the U.K. last year, Alexandra Beidas, an employee incentives lawyer at Linklaters LLP in London, said in an e-mail.
The Barnier plans ''would require companies to set a ratio between the average remuneration received by directors compared to the average received by the company's full-time employees and also set the relative proportion of fixed and variable pay which can be awarded to directors,'' she said.
Barnier is in charge of formulating draft financial rules at the Brussels-based commission, the EU's executive arm.
'Clear Indication'
Under his proposals, companies would be compelled to pay directors in accordance with a shareholder approved remuneration policy. That policy should be reviewed, and submitted to shareholder vote, at least every three years.
The document setting out the policy should give ''a clear indication of the minimum and maximum amounts that can be awarded,'' as well as the ratio of fixed to variable pay.
It should also set out the maximum level of pay available to directors, as well as what possibilities exist for the company to reclaim bonus payments for directors whose performance turns out to be less strong than thought.
The measures would also hand shareholders more control over so-called related-party deals where a company carries out transactions with its own managers or institutional investors.
Other parts of the Barnier plans would set minimum disclosure rules for asset managers and institutional investors, and seek to make it easier for single shareholder companies to operate cross-border within the EU.
The plans for listed companies don't seek to impose caps on pay and are focused on boosting shareholder awareness and oversight.
Barnier's proposals require approval by governments and the European Parliament to take effect.
Bloomberg News


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This MOLLE SWAT Tactical Cross Draw Holster turns your vest into a fully tactical operator and allows you to carry your side arms right in where you need it - on the sides, on the back or right in the front.
With the MOLLE webbing, you can even attach this holster directly to your belt. This MOLLE SWAT Tactical Cross Draw Holster is versatile, universal, and ready for action.
- Fits all small hand guns: Glock, Sig Sauer, P99, X50/P226, Combat Pistol, Beretta.


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Contributions or gifts to ActBlue are not deductible as charitable contributions for Federal income tax purposes.


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The Adrian Dominican School of Education's Counseling Department has been awarded $22,428.00 for Success University, a Program of the Miami Beach Service Partnership to impact youth and families in accordance with The Children's Trust and City of Miami Beach.
The Success University Program offers a variety of programming to reduce truancy and prepare our youth and families for success. The primary goal of the program is to address the root causes of excessive absences for our middle and high school students, while providing support for families that are experiencing the negative influences of community stress factors.
Youth and families are provided with program services such as:
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens
- 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families
- Family Group Conferencing
- Care Coordination
- Gap Services
- Employment Services
- Referral Services
- Transportation Services
ADSOE Graduate students are trained to work with youth and families who have not had access to educational and economic opportunities, preparing youth for academic success and strengthening families through the provision of:
- Intake and Assessments
- Care Plan Contact and Follow-up Services
- Mental Health Assessments
- Individual and Family Counseling sessions.


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Aaron wrote:Couple of Spud I just saw here: http://www.britishwrestlingpictures.com ... 2&start=12
(Pictures from IPW:UK No Escape)
obsessedwithwrestling and myspace are good sources for some of the SoCal guys. Good luck finding a decent Excalibur one though, I've only ever found one pic of him out if the ring!
German wrote:You can buy FHM Germany, FHM UK and FHM US here :p
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text: Travel Top 5: Canada's best train tripsVerne Equinox, via Wikimedia Commons 07.19.2011One of the best ways to enjoy Canada's scenery is from the comfort of a train. Here are our picks for the five greatest train journeys in Canada.Verne Equinox / via Wikimedia Commons5. Polar Bear Express, Cochrane to Moosonee, Ontario Not many trains have a special car just for carrying canoes, but the Polar Bear Express does. This train in northern Ontario takes passengers to Moosonee on James Bay and is known to stop now and again to pick up hunters and fishermen who flag the train down. The train's name is a bit of a misnomer since polar bears are nowhere to be found in this part of Canada.svabo / via Wikimedia Commons4. Agawa Canyon, Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario Unless you are a world-class hiker or have access to a private plane, the only way to enjoy the beauty of Ontario's Agawa Canyon is to do it by train. Algoma Central Railway has been operating special tourist trains through the canyon since the 1960s. While the tours remain popular today, they hit their peak in the 70s and 80s when the ACR would run passenger trains of 20 to 24 cars, among the longest tourist trains in the world.Dustin M. Ramsey / via Wikimedia Commons3. White Pass and Yukon Route, Whitehorse, Yukon to Skagway, Alaska In the era of the Klondike Gold Rush, the closest port to the Yukon was in Alaska, but to get there required climbing over treacherous mountain passes. Eventually, a railway was built to link the Yukon with the sea town of Skagway. Today, visitors can admire the awesome scenery of the route and explore the region's history.jadecolour / via Wikimedia Commons2. Rocky Mountaineer, B.C and Alberta Not a year goes by that the Rocky Mountaineer doesn't win a prestigious tourism award or get named to the top of some publication's year's best list. This company offers rail tours on four different routes in the Rocky Mountains where passengers get to enjoy the comfort of luxurious railways cars. If you don't like sleeping in trains, don't worry, Rocky Mountaineer guests get to stay at fine hotels along the way.Leonard G. / via Wikimedia Commons1. The Canadian, Via Rail, Toronto to Vancouver You could fly across Canada in a few hours, but if you really want to experience it, take the train. The Canadian, operated by Via Rail, will take you from Toronto to Vancouver through some of the most beautiful scenery in the world.Timothy Stevens / via Wikimedia CommonsShareAdjustCommentPrint xShareTravel Top 5: Canada's best train trips Email Twitter Facebook Pinterest Google Linkedin


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Free Citizenship Classes
Location: Broadway
Registration: Not required
Learn everything you need to know about American history, government, and culture to pass the citizenship exam. Participants must attend the entire 12-class series. Please arrive at 10 am sharp on Wednesday, April 3 to register in person at the Broadway Library (first-come, first-served) or call 718-278-4303 to preregister in advance. Candidates must be green card holders. The first day of class is the registration day when they should bring a copy of their green card.
Additional Program Dates/Locations
This is a recurring program. If registration is required, you must register individually.
Additional Dates
Toddler Story & Play Time
Location: Broadway
Registration: Not required
Join us for a half hour of free play with educational toys, followed by stories, song, rhymes, and movement for toddlers ages 18-35 months and their parents/caregivers. Space is limited; pick up a free ticket in the Children's Room at least 15 minutes before each session.
Additional Program Dates/Locations
This is a recurring program. If registration is required, you must register individually.
Additional Dates
Typing for Beginners in Spanish
Location: Broadway
Registration: Registration is not yet open for this program. Please check back closer to the program date.
Learn how to use a keyboard and it will be easier for you to use a computer. Practice Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, and navigating the Internet. Please call 718-721 2462 to register.
Three-Dimensional Geometric Origami with Karen Wellington
Location: Broadway
Registration: Not required
In this program, origami and paper engineering techniques are used to make different types of three-dimensional geometric shapes such a pentagon bowl and rectangular prisms which can be used to store things. The pieces the children make are theirs to take home. Different pieces will be made each week. Space is limited. Registration is required.
Additional Program Dates/Locations
This is a recurring program. If registration is required, you must register individually.
Additional Dates
Free computer access is available at all the libraries.
The Broadway Community Library has:
International Language Collections at the Broadway Community Library include:
Special Interest/Noteworthy Collections at the Broadway Community Library include:
| Child Care / Preschools
Community Board
Community Organizations & Services
Fire Department
Local Hospitals
Local Newspapers
| Parks and Playgrounds
Police Department
Post Office
Private / Parochial Schools
Public Elementary Schools
Public High Schools
| Public Intermediate / Junior High Schools
Senior Centers
Elected Officials
Special Services
|Child Care / Preschools
Adventureland Preschool
41-31 58th St
Woodside NY , 11377-4755
phone: (718) 274-4769
Bright Beginnings
49-22 30th Ave
Woodside NY , 11377-7959
phone: (718) 777-6664
Kid Krazy
2125 21st Ave
Astoria NY , 11105-3228
phone: (718) 545-5728
Mi Nuevo Mundo
31-05 51st Street
Woodside NY , 11377
phone: (718) 626-7394
My New World
31-31 60th Street
Woodside NY , 11377
phone: (718) 932-4521
|Community Board
Queens Community Board 1
36-01 35th Avenue
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 786-3335
fax: (718) 786-3368
|Community Organizations & Services
Central Astoria Local Development Coalition
28-27 Steinway Street
Astoria NY , 11103
phone: (718)728-7820
Federation of Italian American Organizations of Queens
29-21 21st Avenue
Astoria NY , 11105
phone: (718) 204-2444
Greater Astoria Historical Society
35-20 Broadway 4th Floor
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 278-0700
LIC Business Development Corporation
29-10 Thomson Avenue, 9th Floor
Astoria NY , 11101
phone: (718) 786-5300
Queens Rainbow Community Center
30-74 Steinway Street, 2nd floor
Astoria NY , 11103
phone: (718) 429-2300
American Museum of the Moving Image
35 Avenue at 36 Street
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 784-0077
The Isamu Noguchi Garden Museum
32-37 Vernon Blvd
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 204-7088
22-25 Jackson Ave
Long Island City NY , 11101
phone: (718) 784-2084
Socrates Sculpture Park
Broadway and Vernon Blvd.
Long Island City NY , 11106
phone: (718) 956-1819
|Fire Department
Engine 263, Ladder 117
42-06 Astoria Blvd South
Astoria NY , 11107
|Local Hospitals
Mount Sinai Hospital of Queens
25-10 30th Avenue
Long Island City NY , 11102
phone: (718) 932-1000
Queens Surgical Community Center
46-04 31st Ave
Long Island City NY , 11103-1842
phone: (718) 545-5050
Steinway Family Health Center
25-92 Steinway Street
Astoria NY , 11103
phone: (718) 721-6100
|Parks and Playgrounds
Astoria Park Pool
19th Street and 23rd Drive
Astoria NY , 11105
phone: (718) 626-8620
Astoria Heights Recreational Park
30th Road between 45th and 46th Streets
Athens Square Park
30th Avenue and 30th Street
Astoria NY ,
Broadway Playground
38th Street between 31st Avenue and Broadway
|Police Department
114th Precinct
34-16 Astoria Blvd.
Queens NY , 11103
phone: (718) 626-9311
|Post Office
Steinway Post Office
43-04 Broadway
Astoria NY , 11103-9997
phone: (800) 275-8777
|Private / Parochial Schools
Corpus Christi
31-29 60th Street
Woodside NY , 11377
phone: (718) 721-2484
El-ber Islamic School
25-42 49th Street
Astoria NY , 11103
phone: (718) 274-9060
Evangelical Christian
31-29 Crescent Street
Long Island City NY , 11103
phone: (718) 937-9601
Most Precious Blood
32-52 37th Street
Long Island City NY , 11103
phone: (718) 721-9850
Queens Lutheran School
31-20 21st Avenue
Astoria NY , 11102
phone: (718) 721-4313
Saint Demetrios Greek American School|
30-03 30th Drive
Astoria NY , 11102
phone: (718) 728-1754
Saint. Joseph School
28-46 44 Street
Long Island City NY , 11103
phone: (718) 728-0724
|Public Elementary Schools
Our World Neighborhood Charter
36-12 35th Avenue
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 392-3405
30-45 42 Street
Long Island City NY , 11103
phone: (718) 728-4646
P.S. 151 Mary D. Carter
50-05 31 Avenue
Woodside NY , 11377
phone: (718) 728-2676
|Public High Schools
Academy of American Studies
28-01 41st Avenue
Long Island City NY , 11101
phone: (718) 361 – 8786
Baccalaureate School of Global Education
34-12 36th Avenue
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 361-5275
Aviation Career and Technical High School
45-30 36 Street
Long Island City NY , 11101
phone: (718) 361-2032
Long Island City High School
14-30 Broadway
Long Island City NY , 11106
phone: (718) 545-2980
William Cullen Bryant High School
48-10 31st Avenue
Long Island City NY , 11103
phone: (718) 721-5404
|Public Intermediate / Junior High Schools
Baccalaureate School of Global Education
34-12 36th Avenue
Astoria NY , 11106
phone: (718) 361-5275
I.S. 10 Horace Greeley School
45-31 31st Avenue
Long Island City NY , 11103
phone: (718) 278-7054
|Senior Centers
Senior Healthcare Center
27-15 30th Avenue
Astoria NY , 11102
phone: (718) 932-0007
Woodside Senior Center
50-37 Newtown Road, Building 19
Woodside NY , 11377
phone: (718) 932-6916
|Elected Officials
|NYC Council
Hon. Costa Constantinides
District Office 31-09 Newtown Avenue, Suite 209
Astoria NY, 11102
phone: (718) 274-4500
fax: (646) 661-4500
Manhattan Office 250 Broadway, Suite 1778
New York NY, 10007
phone: (212) 788-6963
|NYC Council
Hon. Jimmy Van Bramer
District Office Address 47-01 Queens Boulevard, Suite 205
Sunnyside NY, 11104
phone: (718) 383-9566
fax: (718) 383-9076
Manhattan Office Address 250 Broadway, Suite 1833
New York NY , 10007
phone: (212) 788-7370
fax: (212) 513-7195
|NYS Assembly
Hon. Brian Barnwell
District Office 55-19 69th Street
Maspeth NY, 11378
phone: (718) 651-3185
fax: (718) 651-3027
Albany Office LOB, Room 921
Albany NY, 12248
phone: (518) 455-4755
fax: (518) 455-5032
|NYS Senate
Hon. Michael Gianaris
District Office 31-19 Newtown Avenue, Suite 402
Astoria NY , 11102
phone: (718) 728-0960
fax: (718) 728-0963
Albany Office Capitol Building, Room 413
Albany NY, 12247
phone: (518) 455-3486
fax: (518) 426-6929
|US Congress
Hon. Carolyn Maloney
District Office 31-19 Newtown Avenue
Astoria NY , 11102
phone: (718) 932-1804
fax: (718) 932-1805
Legislative Office 2308 Rayburn House Office Building
Washington DC, 20515
phone: (202) 225-7944
fax: (202) 225-4709
|Boro President
Hon. Melinda Katz
Hon. Bill de Blasio
Dutch settlers were the first inhabitants of the area that is now known as Long Island City. This area was the first part of Queens to be settled. The name Long Island City was created by Captain Levy Hayden in 1853. After selling a large number of shares from his Hunter's Point Marine Railway to the Beebe family of Ravenswood Captain Hayden named the area with the hope that one day all of the Hunter's Point, Astoria, and Ravenswood would be unified. The idea of a Long Island City came from these areas wanting their own self government. A public referendum was passed on February 16, 1869 by a vote of 299 for and 150 against. The city was charted as a merging of the villages of Astoria, Steinway, Ravenswood, and Hunter's Point. It borders the East River in the North and West and Newton Creek to the South.
The charter to establish Long Island City was signed on Wednesday May 4, 1870. Abraham D. Ditmars, of Astoria, was the city's first Mayor. Early problems for the new city were a lack in decent roads to travel upon. Due mainly to the financial resources and tenacity of James Thomson many of the major roads of Long Island City were completely paved by 1880. This included the complete drainage of Ravenswood swamp. Most of the inland territory of what is now Long Island City was made up mostly of marshland. The city was prosperous due to thriving community industries in oil and glass. The city quickly gained the reputation of being a commercial and industrial district. One of the most prominent families were the Steinways. The German family, headed by Patrick Henry Steinway, were responsible for many upgrades to the Long Island City community and industry. They created streetcar lines, a piano factory, and a successful amusement park called North Beach which operated from 1886 to 1920. This park was located on the spot that is now known as La Guardia Airport. Riker's Island once belonged to Long Island City until it was purchased by New York City in September 1884 for the price of $2,500.
Long Island City operated as its own separate entity outside of greater New York City. Mayor Henry S. Debevoise was arrested on a warrant by the citizens for fraud and his ineffectiveness as mayor during a tense battle with gamblers that had invaded the city in the early 1880's. Patrick Jerome Gleason won the mayoral election of 1886 and became just as notorious as Henry Debevoise. Mayor Gleason appointed himself chief officer of the Police board, Fire Department, and Board of Education while appropriating funds of over $245,000 for a school that was not completed until he was removed from office. Gleason's acts of corruption gave the once highly touted community a reputation of political crime that was looked at badly by the rest of the country. These acts of corruption led to the Consolidation Act for a Greater New York which led to Long Island City becoming a part of greater New York in 1898.
The creation of the Queensboro Bridge in 1909 opened the isolated suburb to commuters who now had quick access into and out of Manhattan. The opening of the Penn Tubes in 1910 opened Long Island to travel from the Southern section of the city. People now had accessibility to other parts of New York and the once strong economic clout of Long Island City was slowly taken away by Manhattan. Over time many immigrants from various European countries such as Italy and Iceland came to settle in Long Island City. By far the biggest ethnic group is from Greece as Long Island City boasts the largest number of Greek people outside from the country of Greece.
Today Long Island City stands as one of the most industrialized melting pots of New York City and the United States.
In 1893 a movement to establish a Free Public Library began in the Long Island City community. The first Broadway Branch was opened in 1906 on 9th Avenue. It was the sixth library unit built for the Queens Public Library system. Circulation for the first year was 36,000. Circulation grew steadily leading to several changes in location.
Children's services in particular lead to two major moves. The first move led to a Children's facility created in 1930 on Steinway Street. Children's programs became so popular that they had to be discontinued due to lack of space. The need for more room led to the opening of the library's current location on April 25, 1958. The three story building is 15,800 in square feet and is located at 40-20 Broadway in Long Island City.
Seyfried, Vincent F. , 300 Years of Long Island City 1630-1930, Queens Historical Society Publication 1984


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