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One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Punched In The Face
Prized for its balance of textures and flavors, the balut is a Southeast Asian streetfood delicacy. Commonly sold in the evening to cloak its horrific appearance in darkness, these tiny fertilized duck embryos are widely consumed as a high protein snack. Translated from the Malay or Filipino balut, the word itself means "wrapped". And wrapped it is! A conveniently pocketed orb of eyeballs, feathers, veins, blood vessels, an umbilical cord, and, yes, a crunchy little beak all safely nestled in a shell. Incubation time can vary from 18-21 days. Much like the incubation time of Survivors who, up until now, have been content with the status quo. Content with the giant man child moonwalking into the campfire. Content with the wide-eyed gingham matron tucking everyone into their beds at night. Content with "us over here, you over there." Sometimes though, sometimes, an egg meant for consumption before its time rolls away and is allowed to mature and flourish in the golden sun. Emerging from its shell, it'll shake its feathers with wild abandon and flutter hither and thither with all sorts of ideas. Revolutionary ideas. Independent ideas. Triumphant hairy ideas of nipples and plaid. Let down your hair, fair peacock. An idea must unfurl. Cascade. Tumble and bounce. Otherwise, it is tied too tight. Smothered. Deprived of the oxygen it needs to thrive. Let's recap, shall we?
We continue our torrid Filipino tale in the thick of night at Baklava (Bikal). Wistful clouds of truth creep about in the moonlight before floating away... far far away. Rapscallion jester Phillip Sheppard sashays into the scene and breaks the awkward silence by congratulating Gay (Michael) on surviving another Tribal Council. With his arm around a joyous Gay, Phillip then motions to Corinne and Calgon (Dawn) that he'd like a word with them in the bunker. Leading the way with leaps and James Brown slides, Phillip maneuvers through the landmines he has placed all around camp (coconuts sliced in half and placed face down in the sand). Once out of earshot of the others, Phillip giggles and reveals his deep dark secret, "There's one thing I did and didn't clue you in on. I threw the challenge. Co-coch-cochran knew about it. You noticed what I was doing, but you didn't figure it out. Chichaw! Remember when you told me to pull the line in quicker? Remember? You told me to pull quicker and I couldn't... I mean, didn't. That's The Specialist, baby. Jump back!" And then he do-si-do'd into a bush and tried to radio Langley with a clam shell. Corinne and Calgon stood in silence left to roll their eyes at one another in the night sky.
Gesu a la Samaritana al pozzo by Giacomo Franceschini)
With the passing of time, a new day dawns and with it, a number. Twenty. 2-0. A nice round even number hangs in the air taunting Calgon with memories of yesteryear. At this time in the South Pacific, many moons ago, a Merge was afoot and Calgon's best good friend Cochran shook up the entire game by switching loyalties. Could it happen again here in The Philippines? Could a traitor be close by? With the uneasiness and anxiety gnawing at Calgon's gut and churning with malicious intent, she seeks comfort from her wishing well hidden in the trees. It is her private place to reflect, gather her thoughts, and pop Klonopin likes it's candy. And don't think that the imagery of a woman at a well is lost on Calgon. Being a religious sort, Calgon dutifully recalls the story of the Samaritan woman at the well and the lessons hidden within. Can she too accept the people around her with love and compassion? Can her fear of scallawags, like her tears, plop away into the inky blackness beneath her? *shrugs shoulders* I have no idea. Terence Trent D'arby does though... Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell/A wishing well of butterfly tears/Wish me love a wishing well to kiss and tell/A wishing well of crocodile cheers What a crocodile cheer is I do not know. All at once it sounds festive yet menacing. How does that portend in this here game of Survivor? Only time will tell.
Meanwhile, at Goiter (Gota), fit brawny sorts are splashing and cavorting in the crystalline blue waters. The Dame Reynold, fetching in a swim cap, is busy with his latest synchronized swimming routine as a local fishing boat approaches the shore. From the beach, Theddie (Eddie) shouts, "Sthomethingths happening!" Sthomethingth indeed! Hearing the commotion ashore, Dame Reynold pauses mid fankick and exclaims, "We've been saved! Get me off this island!" And then, with one perfectly pointed ballet leg sticking out of the water, he grips the back of the fishing boat and squeals as the fishermen pull him towards the beach. When the boat finally reaches the sandy shore, a man in a conical hat hands Mascaroni (Andrea) a note - Pack up all your crap, bitches. It's Merge time! The Goiters quickly break out into a raucous celebration of woo-hoo's. This is what they've been waiting for. This is what we've been waiting for. This is when the game can finally begin.
Gliding over the water and carrying precious cargo (i.e. Golden Boy (Malcolm)), the fishing boat arrives at Baklava where the merriment continues. Both tribes breathe in the heady aromas of one another and gleefully grasp each other in loving embraces. It appears that everyone has wanted this union for a while now - especially gangly Cochran. The Merge is the time when his freckles come together and make smiley faces.
Within the note given to Mascaroni was also a key. It turns out that this key unlocks a chest filled with food, green buffs and a brand spanking new flag for the tribe to name and decorate. With mouths full of the bologna sandwiches Calgon has passed out to everyone with the crusts cut off, the tribe workshops some new camp names. Gay thinks the tribe should be called "Stanley" while Corinne is in favor of "Douglas". Golden Boy has a better idea though. How about "Enil Edam"? Mascaroni nods in agreement, "Enil Edam means 'new beginning'." Sure, Mascaroni. Perhaps in Dothraki that is what it means. In reality, however, Enil Edam is Golden Boy giving a shout out to his mama, Madeline. *swoon* But, for our purposes, Enil Edam will now be known as Edamame. Delicious and good for you... much like Golden Boy. Badum bum!
With a full belly and a new skip in his step, Phillip wraps Mascaroni in a giant bear hug, "It's good to see my girl!" And then he whips out the blueprints he has devised in order for him, Mascaroni, Calgon and Cochran to sail into the final four. On the blueprints, in crayon, is a drawing of Boston Rob lying in bed covered in a Red Sox blanket. That's it. That's the plan! When you're lying in bed, pretend you're Boston Rob. That's what Phillip does and it's gotten him this far. But before they can lie back and creatively visualize themselves as a goateed guy with a weird accent, they need to rid the camp of those powerful Fan men - namely, Dame Reynold and Theddie. Truth be told, Mascaroni really isn't all that concerned with the first vote. There are 8 Favorites and 4 Fans. Why sweat this first vote when they've already got the numbers?
At the same time, further down the beach, Corinne is also rekindling old relationships. She wastes no time touching base with Golden Boy and telling him just how truly awful Phillip has been. His late night fire drills, the pre-dawn marches, and, oh god, don't get her started on the moat he dug around the latrine. She confesses to Golden Boy that, at one time, she even considered voting out Phillip. Golden Boy listens to Corinne's complaints and tells her that he has no intention of sticking with the Favorites alliance for much longer. Corinne replies, "But we don't have the numbers." Golden Boy then flashes his pearly whites, "I've got 4 votes. Dame Reynold, Theddie and Erik." Corinne smiles in return, "I've got Gay." That makes 6 votes. With 12 people left in the game, they don't yet have a majority, but they're close. Oh so close. To keep the other Favorites from getting suspicious, Corinne suggests that they get rid of Freebush (Sherri) first. After she's gone, they can flip the switch and get rid of Phillip. *claps excitedly* Yes! It's the perfect plan. Surely, nothing can screw this up. Not a thing.
Later that afternoon, Cochran returns with the Tree Mail. Words like "bitten", "chew" and "swallow" litter the message. Calgon breaks into a jaunty dance while thinking it'll be a challenge where she gets to eat her way through the food pyramid. Golden Boy quickly rains on her parade saying, "No! It's eating gross stuff." That shuts her up. But then we hear a tiny high-pitched gasp followed by a rapid fluttering. Tis Dame Reynold fanning himself rapidly with one hand while digging into his purse with the other hand searching for his smelling salts. If there is one thing Dame Reynold can't do, it is eat gross stuff. Let's just say you'll never find him at an oyster bar on a Saturday after his matinee performance. And you can forget about escargot. Anything slimy and squiggly that doesn't come with a side of french fries is not the sort of fare Dame Reynold will indulge in.
Theddie, it turns out, is also a little nervous about the upcoming challenge. Oh, he's not scared to eat bull testicles or the anus of an ostriche. He's more worried about the effect this challenge could have on his love life. One night when he's getting amorous with a lady friend she might flashback to that time on Survivor when he swallowed a whole tarantula. According to Theddie, she'll button up her blouse lightening quick, race up the stairs of his parents basement and not let him get to second base.
And then we have Cochran. Unlike the others, Cochran is actually looking forward to this challenge. Eating gross stuff won't hurt his reputation with the ladies. In fact, his image might benefit from an eating challenge makeover. Whereas once he might have been shy and awkward, he could now be that guy. That guy who won a necklace eating 100 crickets in 10 seconds. That guy with his collar pointed skyward who once ate raw pig intestines. Mr. Cool. The ladies, they'll come a-runnin'.
And this brings us to the big Immunity Challenge. Come on in guys! For today's challenge you will take part in a Survivor classic - a food eating competition where you will race to get down local delicacies. You will square off in a series of elimination rounds until only two remain. The final winner gets the Immunity Necklace and cannot be voted out at the next Tribal Council.
For round 1, we have Mascaroni, Freebush, Corinne, Erik, Theddie and Golden Boy. Erik stares down at the covered plate before him as it begins to crawl from side to side. Whatever is under that dome is alive! The first three to finish will move onto the next round. The players then unveil the fat and juicy beetle larvae on their plates. Golden Boy complains, "It's running off the plate." Theddie's lower lip then begins to tremble, "Isth it gonna bite me?" Oh shut up, all of youse. Survivors ready, go!
All of the players quickly pop the little rascals into their mouths and the contest seems to be more about who can chew the fastest rather than who has the cajones to eat some worms. Mascaroni finishes first followed by Golden Boy. Lastly, we have Theddie moving onto round 2.
Next up is Dame Reynold, Mowgli (Brenda), Phillip, Gay, Cochran and Calgon. Phillip immediately begins to retch at the sight of the squirmy little fellows as Calgon quietly mumbles a quick prayer to herself before asking if she can pop it into her mouth whole. Dimples immediately tells Calgon to put her food down.
Just wait.
For me to say Survivors ready, go! Bitch.
Oh. Ok.
Survivors ready, go!
Cochran tosses his larvae up in the air like it's popcorn before swallowing them both whole and revealing his tongue. He finishes first followed by Phillip and Gay.
For round 2 we have Mascaroni, Cochran, Phillip, Gay, Theddie and Golden Boy. The 6 unveil their plates to reveal a mess of shit worms. I heard it as "shit worms" so therefore, it's shit worms. Apparently, they're part of the clam family. Insert naughty joke here. Survivors ready, go!
Cochran lifts the entire bunch of shit worms at once and plops them down his gullet. Meanwhile, Golden Boy and Theddie frantically chew themselves into a tie.
For round 3 we have Cochran, Theddie and Golden Boy. Meet the mighty balut, boys. My opening paragraph metaphor. My symbol for the blossoming Survivor. A duck embryo allowed to grow just enough. Not quite all the way. Golden Boy remarks, "I can see the feathers." And I think it hits me what Golden Boy is doing. Is he psyching out the competition? Is he trying to ruffle Theddie and Cochran's feathers with psychological warfare? Perhaps. Survivors ready, go!
Cochran, again, tosses his up in the air. Only this time he added the flourish of a twirl. *gulp* Meanwhile, Theddie is vomiting and then re-eating his own vomit. You know what, Theddie? You were right. This competition just murdered your love life. And with that, Cochran and Golden Boy move onto the final round!
With the last plate before the finalists, Dimples smiles to himself and shakes his head. "Cochran, you're in the finals of an Immunity Challenge! This is David and Goliath." Golden Boy then turns to Cochran and points accusingly at his head, "This is Ginger Kobayashi right here." Cochran flips his collar up and replies, "Bring it on." Mr. Cool, indeed. The two men unveil their plates and before them lies the brains of a pig. Survivors ready, go!
Quickly, both men shove the brains into their mouths and begin to swallow. A tiny piece tries to escape from the corner of Cochran's mouth, but he simply shoves it back in. As quickly as it began is as quickly at it ended beacuse... COCHRAN WINS IMMUNITY!!! *plays 'Eye Of The Tiger'* What then ensued was a celebration. A celebration of interpretive dance where Cochran sparred like a boxer punching each and everyone one of his competitors over and over again. The lad spun, he jived, he did the worm - because he just ate of whole mess of shit worms - and then he posed with his arms crossed in front of him. He winked to the ladies in the stands and instead of walking back to camp, he strutted.
The spindly fop did a strut that would make John Travolta jealous.
Back at Edamame, Golden Boy checks in with Theddie to make sure that everyone is still on the same page. He tells Theddie that Corinne, Dame Reynold and Erik are onboard with the new alliance. While I admire Golden Boy's firm grasp on the game, I worry about his confidence in Erik. We've never seen him talk to Erik. Quite frankly, we've never seen Erik talk to anybody. He exists in the head shop of his imagination and, sometimes, you can see him wander out into the sea, glassy-eyed, to have a chat with a drop of water. Other than that, we don't really see much of the guy.
Meanwhile, Phillip Sheppard is pitching one of his cockamamie plans to Corinne to split the vote between Dame Reynold and Theddie. Because he saw Boston Rob do it once successfully several seasons ago, Phillip now has to enter into every Tribal Council by splitting the votes. Corinne, on the other hand, thinks splitting the votes is silly. She suggests to Phillip that they simply get rid of Freebush since none of the Fans like her anyways. Phillip immediately poo-poo's that idea and explains that he wants a big fish to go home on this first Merge vote. Once again he cites the mighty Boston Rob, lying in his bed, taking out the power players first. Corinne's lips form a thin line in anger. Phillip never listens to any of her situations. He never entertains her ideas and it's really beginning to piss her off.
The problem with being pissed off is that you tend to act erratically. You begin to flap your gums in vain and vent to people that you might not otherwise vent to. And this is exactly what Corinne does. She immediately goes to Cochran, Mascaroni and Dawn to complain about how Phillip wants to split the votes. She suggests that they vote for Freebush and let Phillip vote however he wants to vote. Let him fly solo. Corinne is frustrated that he strong-arms her into doing his bidding week after week. This time, she wants to strong-arm him. Listening to all of this, Cochran is fine with getting rid of Freebush although he questions why Corinne is so adamant to keep Dame Reynold and Theddie in the game. In addition, the fact that Phillip and Corinne can't peacefully coexist and come to a mutual decision is blatantly admitting to the world that the Favorites are dysfunctional rather than one big happy family.
Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to check in with Dame Reynold and see what he thinks about all of this. Dame? *curtain pulls back*
"Greetings gentle men and gentle women. I find myself in the peculiar position of hitching my wagons and petticoats to a serpentine counter alliance. Tis a necessary gesture to make when encountering a merry-andrew like Lord Phillip. For what can be gained by a buffoon in this fertile Eden in which we find ourselves lost. If I am to be a scoundrel, then so be it. I kneel and accept the challenge without haste. Oh ye game of Survivor, place your sword upon velvet shoulder and bestow upon your servant the wisdom to go forth. To go forth and prosper. To go forth and conquer. To go forth and WIN." And then he daintily held a lacy handkerchief up to his face and fainted. *stands and applauds* Brava! *throws roses onstage* What a dame!
Leaving the theatre, I am not only moved by the passion, but I am optimistic. A Serpentine Counter Alliance of ne'er-do-wells is exactly what this game needs. Fiery scamps causing a raucous is something I can get behind and support. But still, the first part of the plan must come to pass. Somehow they have to find a way to get rid of Freebush without raising suspicion and outing themselves. Perhaps Corinne can make it happen with Calgon... or perhaps not.
In the next scene we find Corinne and Calgon escaping into the jungle thick to discuss their next move. Corinne immediately jumps into how she's not heard and her opinions are never appreciated by Phillip. Whenever she makes a suggestion, he immediately nixes it. Calgon nods with understanding. She gets what Corinne is saying. Phillip is indeed overbearing and needs to handled with kid gloves. Corinne, perhaps encouraged by Calgon nodding in agreement, then reveals the inner workings of the Serpentine Counter Alliance and tells Calgon that she has the votes to get rid of Phillip if he doesn't start taking her seriously. *throws a coconut at Corinne's head* "I've got Golden Boy and Dame Reynold and Theddie..." SHUT UP! "And Gay is 100% with us too." *throws a ninja star at Corinne's head* Calgon replies, "That's like 6 people." Corinne nods, "Uh huh. And we have Erik." OMG SHUT UP!
Calgon, now armed with this valuable information, doesn't really know how to proceed. This is exactly what happened on her last season. Clearly, there is nothing left to do but cry... AND go run and tell Cochran everything. *throws a frying pan at Calgon's head* Upon hearing about the Serpentine Counter Alliance, the color instantly drains from Cochran's face and you can sort of see his heart begin to pound beneath his sweater vest. Calgon then says, "If I had the numbers, I'd vote Corinne out." Sobered by the game taking a drastic turn where 3, possibly 4, powerful men could keep winning Immunity Challenges week after week, Cochran begins to run down the people they could get to vote out Corinne. If they can get Freebush and Erik onboard, they might be able to pull off a blindside.
And so begins a quick game of telephone. Cochran tells Mascaroni what's going on. Mascaroni then tells Phillip what's going on. And Phillip, well he accosts Freebush in the shelter. Sitting across from her he whips out a list of all the people in the Stealth R Us organization. Right there, with a giant booger next her crossed out name, it says CORINNE. Phillip then dramatically takes his crayon out of his panties and writes in a childlike scrawl FREEBOOSH. He tells Freebush that if she joins them and votes out Corinne tonight, then she will drastically change the fate of her game. The only problem is that Freebush hates Phillip. She hates his arrogance, his silly names, his stupid pink panties. She hates everything about him. BUT she's in a tight spot and she's willing to make a big move to stay in the game.
Meanwhile, because Erik doesn't really speak, Mascaroni is miming him instructions to vote out Corinne tonight. She points at Corinne's name on the Edamame flag and then grabs her own neck and mock strangles herself. Erik nods his shaggy mane and gives her a thumbs up sign. Uh oh.
Golden Boy then meets with Erik on the beach to "talk" a little strategy. Again, since Erik is a mute, one has to be clever when discussing the game with him. In addition to his many many talents (juggling bottles of liquor, signing girls boobs and letting down his cascading mane), Golden Boy is also an accomplished artist. With Erik watching closely, Golden Boy grabs a stick and quickly draws a picture of Sandra Bullock in the sand. He points to the picture and nods. Erik stares silently at the drawing and smiles. He loves Practical Magic! But did he get the memo that he has to vote out Freebush tonight? Your guess is as good as mine.
And this brings us to Tribal Council. Dimples begins by noticing that since the switch, only Fans have been voted out of the game. He asks Gay if he thinks that tradition will continue. Gay replies in the affirmative. He says that is clear to the Fans that the Favorites will be sticking together until the very end.
Dimples asks Corinne what she thinks about all hope being lost for the Fans. Corinne replies that nothing is ever a lost cause. If you come to her with a good idea, then maybe she'll consider it. Phillip dramatically places his head in his hands while Calgon mumbles something about 12 people not all being able to make it to the final 3.
Oh Dame Reynold. Pray give us a stanza.
*Dame Reynold rises*
Doubt thou stars are fire
Doubt thou stars are love
Doubt truth to be a liar
But never doubt I love.
*Dame Reynold then sweeps dramatically downstage*
Not all can be on top
When there are eight
For I am a lacy fop
And aren't my ribbons great?
Dimples giggles and claps enthusiastically. He then turns to Erik and asks him what he thinks of Dame Reynold's performance. Erik nods and shrugs his shoulders. Oh dear, is he not a fan of iambic pentameter?
Alright, enough jibber jabber, let's get to the vote. By a vote of 75 to eleventeen, Corinne and her big fat mouth that can't keep a secret is the 9th person voted out of Survivor Carmoan.
So, what did you guys think of last night's episode? What does this mean for the Serpentine Counter Alliance? Are you happy to see Corinne go? If we drown Erik in shallow water, will he make a sound? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
One more thing, I have a teeny tiny favor to ask of you lovely bitches. If you haven't already, can you please head on over to the XI COCKTAILS Facebook Page, Like it and then leave a little note saying "Colette Lala sent me"? I'm trying desperately to win a bottle of liquor signed by three of my favorite Survivors - Shakira, Golden Boy and Prickly Pete. Thanks bitches!
31 comments:
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 5:21 PM
Was glad to see Corrine go, since she targeted the alliance that Cochran is in. Go Cochran!!!ReplyDelete
Great move by Dawn and Cochran. I really want to see Cochran in the final three. If he is I believe he will win. He will need to win some more immunities though.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 6:39 PM
How could Corinne totally botch that situation? First, Phillip wants to split the vote. Then Corinne talks the alliance out of diluting the vote when soon after she is plotting against the alliance. More importantly, why did Corinne have to reveal anything about switching alliances to her former alliance this week? You saw Calgon's look when approached by Corrine. Why would she trade her comfortable position in the top-tier of an alliance for something Corine half-baked in 15 minutes on the beach? She could have brought Freebush onboard for a week to take out Phillip right out after the merge if there was a concern about votes.Delete
And where the hell was Golden Boy when this all transpired? Perhaps as next week's preview indicated, he will get something else going. Is it possible our man Malcolm deliberately let Corrine flap in the wind because he already has something in place? He also doesn't have to share the idol. You go Boy!
Clearly, there was some very selective editing this week. There had to be many other things happening that we did not see. I am also sure Corinne like many other players in the past will try to defend her play this week with some feint explanation. Corinne, I will miss your funny analogies, your chattiness and most of all your scrunch butt bikini bottoms. You have to have a lot of balls to wear that in front of 10 million TV viewers. Well, maybe not balls, but lots of something.
Great recap bitch. You do (very) well with however little material these clowns provide you with. I'm on Team Cochran now so this is a good result and Corinne annoyed the phok out of me. Glad she's gawone! I wonder what Mowgli's up to? She's more stealth than the whole Stealth'r'Us crew. Now we know the rest of the Surviv_rs will at least be in the jury and I hope Ponderosa will be better than the last season 'cause that was probably the worst one to date. What can you expect when Jeff Kent doesn't even chip in his two cents (0.1 cent if you're him actually). Keep it up bitch. I lift my almost empty glass of Ten (no more Hendricks in my bar) in your general direction.ReplyDelete
Anyone who threatens Malcom and his greatness needs to piss off....so Dawn and the Mute are on my shit list now.ReplyDelete
If Corinne had half a brain mid rant, she would have read Dawn's facial expressions and changed tactics on the fly.
Hopefully, Eddie will wooooo Andrea into twirling her hair over to the pretty people...then the power boys will win lots of immunity changes...Erik will cease to exist and things will line up for Malcom.
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 6:44 PM
I think that Calgon needs to stop bleaching her teeth; she looks stupid and she pisses me off. Would someone please vote Phillip off and maybe he will take CalgonReplyDelete
Why wouldn't the favs question Corinne about voting out an weak player over an strong player ? Why is Golden Boy trying to get rid of the fav alliance ,and stay with the strong guy alliance ? Doesn't he know that there will be more favs on the jury than fans ,and jurors vote with their hearts most of the time? Feelings are going to be hurt when they find out that Malcolm back stabbed them? I'm not a Malcolm fan ,but it's possible that he could win against any other fav ,but if he moves too fast against his fav alliance ,and take anyone but Phillip with him to the finals he can't win. This could be Calgon's game.She ,and Cochran are playing a good game. I'm glad she told on Corinne. She and Philip deserve each other.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 8:44 PM
I think Malcolm worked out the the favourites would target him pretty early on. He was at the bottom of that alliance because he's too strong in challenges. After voting out Eddie and Reynold they would have gone after him. He is better off running the dim witted muscle men alliance. Too bad Corinne ran her mouth and they're now down on numbers.Delete
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 8:02 PM
Dawn??? Why would you confide in that half-wit? The smart move would have been to gather up all the Phillip haters and vote his ass out. The game might actually be played without this asshole spewing nonsense every time he opens his mouth to let a fly in. I'm no fan of Corrine's but her time would have come soon enough. I swear, this is the stupidest cast to date...ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 8:19 PM
Great writing Lala!ReplyDelete
- Glad Corrine is OUT! loved the blindside.
-Not routing for anyone to win at this point. I actually find them all disgusting/boring/stupid/childish.
- Phillip is a buffoon, but he does provide comic relief and I love to read your comments about him, it cracks me up.
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 8:29 PM
Great recap Miss Lala. How you manage to make Reynold and Eddie interesting is a miracle.ReplyDelete
I liked this episode. Finally some strategy talk, a gross challenge, a triumphant under dog, backstabbing, double crossing, a blindside, Erik actually spoke (but said exactly nothing) and golden boy has lost the weight around the face he had arrived on the island with and I can return to feeling lustful towards him.
Good episode.
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 8:32 PM
The smart move (as Senor implied above) would have been to have ostensibly supported Philip's plan to split the vote -- four for Theddie and four for Dame Reynold. Then she wouldn't have had to recruit anyone new from the favorites to vote for whomever the serpentine counter alliance damned-well pleased. It would have been a sweet way to send Philip home, done in by his own misapplied split-the-vote strategy.ReplyDeleteReplies
What Anonymous said. Corinne's now up there in the I Punched Myself In The Face club with people like, um, Erik. Which reminds me, the producers should immediately shoot any contestant who claims they don't believe in strategy. No warning, just a very loud bang and a headless former contestant toppling to the sand.Delete
Agree with anonymous, Phillip did Corinne's dirty work for her with the split vote until she fucked it all up herself. Moron.Delete
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 9:09 PM
If she had just let the favs split the vote as P wanted, her six votes would have carried the day.ReplyDeleteReplies
Actually, since Erik was such a wildcard, even voting with 5 would have worked. I've been thinking about that all morning. If they'd split the votes, Philip and his group assuming that Eddie and Reynold would each get 4 votes, Corrine could still have voted Philip out with herself, Malcolm, Eddie, Reynold and Michael. Freebush would've been a wildcard, but as long as Malcolm or Corrine was sure they were in the same split-voting block as her, that would've eliminated her as a variable. 5 votes would be enough to get Philip. Aaah! So frustrate that Corinne is gone.Delete
Yeah. I tried to re-watch the episode last night, but it turns out knowing the sickening outcome makes one turn it off at the moment of Corinne's brain fade. Look, I know Corinne had a very small chance of winning - hell, even she acknowledges that. It's not her exit that frustrates me (although I'm not happy about it - she called Phillip "the Living Miscarriage" in an exit interview. How much gold will we miss 'cos she's gone?) it's the orgasm worthy blindside that we missed out on that makes me want to throw plates and glasses around. Aargh. Frustrate indeed.Delete
BTW Jen, cool moon.
What a terrific blog! My favourite line? "Quickly, both men shove their brains into their mouths and begin to swallow". My biggest laugh? It's a toss up between the magnificent Dame's soliloquy and the poetic Dame's stanza.ReplyDelete
What a terrific episode of Survivor! In fact, it has inspired me to compose a poem:
Admittedly not as delightful as the Dame's, but at least it's succinct.
Oh Corinne! HOW could you let that blowhard get the best of you?! Were you too busy chatting with the Gays during your Survivor 101 class? He wanted to split the votes! You could have blindsided him with just five votes! No need for Erik ice-cream for brains, nor Crying Calgon. It would have been one of the most satisfying blindsides in Survivor history. And now poor Malcolm will have to use his idol creatively to stand a chance. I love you Corinne, but your antipathy towards Phillip clouded your judgement.
Oh, now what? That Lala bitch is glaring at me. Why are you glaring at me Lala? What's your fucking problem?
What's that? Did you say "Time to drink 99 Vicodin cocktails, arsehole"?
Shit, you're right - I remember now. Last week I said I'd do that if Phillip bested Corrine, didn't I?
Well, I'm no welcher. To the bar!
Let's see: 1 part vodka, 2 parts dry vermouth, a dash of grenadine, and an olive with a Vicodin tab in place of the pit.
Hmm. Look, I'll be honest Lala; I'm no stranger to narcotics, but I'm also no Keith Richards - 99 of these suckers could very well kill me! Are you really gonna force me to drink 'em all?
That's your answer? More glaring?
Fine. Bottoms up bitch.
*gulp* x20
*gulp* x30
*gulp* x49
Mein Führer... I CAN WALK!!!
- AnonymousApril 4, 2013 at 11:28 PM
I've been watching this show since LaLa first got out of diapers and will be until she slips back into them and I have to day this was one of my favorite episodes ever. Hilarious, gross and intriguing...finally! And this line was absolute Gold... "We've never seen him talk to Erik. Quite frankly, we've never seen Erik talk to anybody. He exists in the head shop of his imagination and, sometimes, you can see him wander out into the sea, glassy-eyed, to have a chat with a drop of water. Other than that, we don't really see much of the guy." Perfect!ReplyDelete
Corraine, oh my Corraine!!! Sexy, strong but not smart enough. Lala (or somebody else), get me her contact; I need to take her on a date to Senseville. Only 2 lasses from the whole bunch understand the game of Survivor, and know what they are doing: Cochran & Malcolm. I hope they make the final three.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 5, 2013 at 12:01 AM
Poor Michael. He's lost his Straight.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 5, 2013 at 1:41 AM
I'm not going to bitch this week. Not once.ReplyDelete
Because: this last episode was satisfying strategy-wise! The blindside of Corinne and her annoying use of her Gay moniker was like an orgasm. While I relax and have my cigarette, a few thoughts pop in.
If Golden Boy doesn't win this season, then you know he's coming back. And back. Until his final lackluster season when he can finally run the gamet a la BR. He's just too beautiful, too smart, too popular, too GOLDEN, for the lazy casting folks to not take him to the final destination of being ultimate survivor. I think THEY think we want to see this. Somebody, please, please, tell them we don't. Really. We don't.
Do we have to twat Probst?
It's obvious that Cochran, IMHO, is the most dangerous player at this point. He's low key, standing by, watching everyone and playing the game in the moment. I've often thought a player can't plan too many moves ahead because events happen every single day that impact positioning. You have to be ready each moment of every day to adjust and react to camp life, while building your TC pitch authentically. You must react as others lose it and snap from starvation, fatigue, mental duress or luck. Adaptability is a most important aspect and Cochran
seems to have this downpat.
How cute is Erik looking, but why does he seem to be squandering this second opportunity? Play, god damnit! A finger point? Get out of your head, numb skull! Or once again, we'll be tee hee-ing when you take an other historic walk of shame...a-Gain.
You know, Calgon is talking a good game in her confessionals. She sounds so smart that I wonder WHO is this savvy player? Aside from her tears and wacky gifs, this Calgon, Redux 2.0 Redo DoOver Producers Favorites Not America's, is impressing me lately with her grasp of the game.
--Restless Wrestler
PS. Sorry, I don't Facebook, but I would have been happy to send a snail mail like.
This episode was probably the best one this season, loved the food eating Immunity Challenge and of course Cochrans victory dance at the end. I am going to miss Corinne and her one liners, loved it when she called Phillip "coo-coo Coco Pops"ReplyDelete
Loved your recap once again and and all the great comments.
Brenda has been more invisible than ErikReplyDelete
She makes phantom (Julia) look like a disco ball and a strobe light
I have just realized that many of us here give too much credit to the selected cast members (yes, they are actors cast for certain roles), we are mistakenly thinking that this season's cast has common sense and street smarts. I am not a Boston Rob fan, primarily do to his annoying accent, but he had street smarts, and CBS milked him for several seasons of different shows. How many more seasons of Phillip will be jammed down our throats? And, Calgon, every time we hear of a cast member talking about how the money will change their life, they are not long for the show, then she will have a real reason to cry real tears. So, who has real street smarts in this season? Freebush maybe, but now she is lying low. Cochran, maybe, from the perspective of revenge of the nerds, don't ever underestimate the nerds in the computer age, but there are no computers in the camp that we are aware of. Malcolm, of course, appears to have it all, but don't forget about his failure last season in the inevitable patience challenge at the end. That's it, everybody else is in it for the media exposure, whatever that brings.ReplyDelete
Wow, wow, wow. Best episode in a very long time. Excellent move by Dawn. Corinne allowed her emotions to take over. I think it taught Malcolm a needed lesson on hubris which may help him to actually win in the end. However, I do think Malcolm is foolish to switch alliances. The favs would have supported him until all the fans were gone. Then he could have destroyed every last one of the enept favs in the challenges . . . Now he's inline for the Corinne treatment. . .ReplyDelete
Philip loves his nicknames so much. Lala, please do me a favor. Please, NEVER, ever, give Philip a nickname. Keep him boring and drab. I would be so poetic if, by the end of the season, every survivor had a nickname but him. He's not deserving of that honor from you. You're the BEST!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 6, 2013 at 12:55 AM
Love the bit about Erik talking to a drop of water! Annoying how he so easily switched from Malcolm's alliance to Andrea, i hope Malcolm can come back from this! Btw, love the blog Lala, its hilarious!!ReplyDelete
- kandeekaneApril 6, 2013 at 1:54 PM
DAMN you Corrinne! I was actually rooting for you this season. I despise returning players but it's inevitable that they are always going to keep having these seasons so it's nice when you get a truly despicable player who turns things around and is playing a good game the 2nd time around. Then I spoke too soon and Corrinne gets her head up her ass somehow and completely screws everything up and gets herself voted out.ReplyDelete
You do NOT tell your alliance that you, Malcolm and Eric have 3 of the people from the other side in your back pocket. That basically told Dawn that she was now number 7 and not part of the new alliance. All Corrinne had to do was keep her big mouth shut, go along with Phillips ignoramus idea of splitting the votes and they could have voted out Freebush or Phillip, whichever they decided at the time.
With Phillip thinking it was a good idea to split the vote he would actually only have his, Calgon, Mascaroni, Eric, Cochran and Mowgli's votes and as long as they said guys vote for Theddie and girls vote for Dame then with Corrinne's and Malcolm's votes missing and added to the 3 fans votes it would have been 5 for either Freebush or Phillip and a split vote 3 to 3 for Theddie and Dame. Basically being a complete waste and making Phillip realize that when you have a huge majority you do not need to split the vote EVERY single time, no matter what BR did in his season. Rob would know when NOT to split the vote.
LOVED Cochrans win. LOVED his little speech in reaction to Theddies about eating gross food possibly hurting his love life. Cochran you are the MAN! Cochran and Corrine were my faves for the season and now that Corrine is gone I hope Cochran can continue and go far, possibly winning.
I like Malcolm but ya know Malcolm is kind of like Ozzie. After awhile he just gets too big a head and thinks he's better than everyone else. I would still like to see Malcolm, Dame and Theddie go farther than Phillip, Mowgli, Eric and Mascaroni. I like Dawn too, we'll see where she ends up.
- AnonymousApril 7, 2013 at 3:22 PM
I couldn't get over how hot Corinne and Parvati look in this aftershow clip. Corinne is a different woman with straight hair instead of the gnarly hair she gets days on the island. I wish she was still around because she is a funny funny hot girl.


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IBM holds its main software application developer event in Orlando this week under what used to be known affectionately as the Rational brand. The Agile iteration enriched coding festival is known these days as IBM Innovate — and the smart money is on vendors who push their news out the Friday before the show. Among this number is Skytap with its cloud application automation products.
More Insights
White PapersMore >>
- How Enterprises Are Developing Secure Applications
- Online Malware & Threats: A Profile of Today's Security Posture
- Thinking Like a Cyber Attacker: Strategies for Defense
- Automating Cybersecurity Functions in Your Enterprise
Skytap Automation Pack for IBM Rational Team Concert is now available as a tool for DevOps teams to provision IBM build machines on-demand in the Skytap cloud. This integration is designed to work with IBM's own SmartCloud Continuous Delivery solution to enable elastic cloud resources that meet sporadic demand for build machine capacity.
NOTE: This offering essentially exists to eliminate the capital and labor expenditures required to buy, monitor, and maintain physical hardware.
"The most universal driver for DevOps continues to be speed and the time to iterate, to deploy, and to get software, features, services, and updates to market," said Jay Lyman, senior analyst for enterprise software at 451 Research. "In addition, while drivers such as cost reduction through efficiency are still significant, most enterprise and service provider organizations are viewing DevOps and the ability to rapidly iterate both infrastructure and software as a competitive necessity."
The Skytap Automation Pack installs alongside the IBM Jazz Team Server. The software continuously monitors the build request queue, so incoming build requests trigger an automated process that creates complete build environments in Skytap Cloud based on pre-defined customer templates.
Automatically Creating Virtual Machines On The Fly
Benefits for software development professionals include the option to collaborate with teams working in parallel on separate components of a product with consistent build environments that operate on the latest golden version of components. Programmers can also provision fully-automated build environments, eliminating the need (at least potentially reducing it) to worry about the underlying infrastructure.
"While DevOps professionals are hesitant to abandon tried-and-true on-premise solutions, external cloud resources have proven to drastically reduce software delivery cycles and accelerate time-to-market," said Brian White, VP of products at Skytap. "The Skytap Automation Pack for IBM Rational Team Concert combines the sought-after scalability and flexibility of a hybrid cloud."

subset: commoncrawl


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Come Join Our Team!
|Restaurant Manager
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At Red Robin our Assistant Managers support and ensure that the restaurant operates within Red Robin International guidelines, while meeting/exceeding sales and profitability objectives established during the budgeting process.
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text:
Absent pulmonary valve is a rare defect in which the pulmonary valve, through which oxygen-poor blood flows from the heart to the lungs (where it picks up oxygen) is either missing or poorly formed. This condition is present at birth (congenital).
Absent pulmonary valve syndrome; Congenital absence of the pulmonary valve; Pulmonary valve agenesis
Absent pulmonary valve occurs when the pulmonary valve does not form or develop properly while the baby is in the mother's womb. When present, it often occurs as part of a heart condition called tetralogy of Fallot.
When the pulmonary valve is missing or does not work well, not enough blood can flow efficiently to the lungs to get oxygen.
There is also usually a hole between the left and right ventricles of the heart (ventricular septal defect). This defect will also lead to low-oxygen blood being pumped out to the body.
The skin will have a blue appearance (cyanosis), because the body's blood contains a low amount of oxygen.
Absent pulmonary valve also results in very enlarged (dilated) branch pulmonary arteries (the arteries that carry blood to the lungs). They can become so enlarged that they press on the tubes that bring air to the lungs (bronchi) and cause breathing problems.
Other heart defects that can occur with absent pulmonary valve include:
Heart problems that occur with absent pulmonary valve may be due to defects of the genes (chromosomes).
Symptoms can vary depending on which other defects the infant has, but may include:
Absent pulmonary valve may be diagnosed before the baby is born with a test that uses sound waves to create an image of the heart (echocardiogram).
During an examination, the doctor may hear a murmur in the infant's chest.
Tests for absent pulmonary valve include:
Infants who have breathing symptoms typically need immediate surgery. Infants without severe symptoms typically have surgery within the first 3 to 6 months of life.
Depending on the type of other heart defects the infant has, surgery may involve:
Types of surgery for absent pulmonary valve include:
Infants with severe breathing symptoms may need to get oxygen or be put on a breathing machine (ventilator).
Without surgery, most infants who have severe lung complications will die.
In many cases, surgery can treat the condition and relieve symptoms.
Call your health care provider if your infant has symptoms of absent pulmonary valve. If you have a family history of heart defects, talk to your doctor before or during pregnancy.
Although there is no way to prevent this condition, families may be evaluated to determine their risk of congenital defects.
Bernstein D. Cyanotic congenital heart lesions: Lesions associated with decreased pulmonary blood flow. In: Kliegman RM, Behrman Re, Jenson HB, Stanton BF, eds. Nelson Textbook of Pediatrics. 19th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Saunders Elsevier; 2011:chap 424.
Brown JW, Ruzmetov M, Vijay P, Rodefeld MD, Turrentine MW. Surgical treatment of absent pulmonary valve syndrome associated with bronchial obstruction. Ann Thoracic Surg, 2006;82:2221-2226.
Nölke L, Azakie A, Anagnostopoulos PV, Alphonso N, Karl TR. The Lecompte maneuver for relief of airway compression in absent pulmonary valve syndrome. Ann Thorac Surg, 2006;81:1802-1807.
Park, MK. Pediatric Cardiology for Practitioners. 5th ed. Philadelphia, PA: Mosby; 2008.


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text:
Singer Andy Williams Dead at 84
Emmy-winning TV host and "Moon River" crooner Andy Williams has died.
Williams' publicist, Paul Shefrin, said Wednesday that the silky-voiced singer died Tuesday night at his home in Branson, Mo., following a year-long battle with bladder cancer.
Williams said in November 2011 that he was diagnosed with bladder cancer but planned to continue performing at the namesake theater he built in Branson in 1992.
The clean-cut Iowa native began singing with his brothers as a child, and his easy style and mellow voice led President Ronald Reagan to call Williams "a national treasure." Though his version of "Moon River" made him world famous, it was among his many hits, including "Butterfly" and "Can't Get Used to Losing You."


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DNA Tests May Prove Bigfoot Is Real
Next fall Spike TV is getting into the Bigfoot hunting reality TV game with a show called '10 Million Dollar Big Foot Bounty.'
They might want to have their checkbook ready.
Veterinarian Melba S. Ketchum has just finished a five year study of DNA samples that were at the locations of Bigfoot sightings. She came to a rather surprising conclusion.
Ketchum, who has 30 years of experience in genetic research and forensics, and her team at DNA Diagnostics in Nacogdoches, Texas found in the hair, blood and urine samples three nuclear genomes that they say could only come from a Sasquatch-like creature.
According to Ketchum, who says she came into the project skeptical, the hairy beast most likely has its origins in a human woman mating with an unknown primate about 1,500 years ago.
Some are dubious of the finding. They don't doubt Ketchum's sincerity but suggest that a few of the samples may have just been cross-contaminated with the researcher's DNA during handling, creating the illusion of a man/ape hybrid.
Ketchum argues that she used lab techniques which would eliminate the chance of such contamination.
She hopes to have her research published in a peer-reviewed journal, which would give it more legitimacy. But so far she hasn't been able to. Until then, we're not quite sure we are going to officially welcome Bigfoot into the Animal Kingdom.


text: Subject: From: E-mail: Your review will post to the top of the stack. Blank lines as paragraph breaks will be preserved in the formatting. Carriage returns will be ignored, and text wrapped into paragraphs. For other formatting html tags may be used. Comments longer than 6000 characters will be trimmed.


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THE EXPLORERS CLUB 110th Annual Dinner
NEW YORK - MARCH 15: The Explorers Club 110th Annual Dinner on Saturday, March 15, 2014 at the Waldorf Astoria, 301 Park Ave, New York, NY 10022 HONORARY CHAIRS — His Royal Highness Prince Jigyel Ugyen Wangchuck of Bhutan — Explorers Club President Alan Nichols and Becky Nichols THE 2014 HONOREES EXPLORERS MEDAL — Professor Walter H. Munk BUZZ ALDRIN QUADRENNIAL SPACE AWARD — Franklin Chang-Diaz and Maria Zuber CITATION OF MERIT — The Apollo F-1 Search and Recovery Team SWEENEY MEDAL — Pat and Rosemarie Keough THE PRESIDENTS AWARD FOR EXPLORATION & TECHNOLOGY — Elon Musk PHOTO CREDIT: ©Manhattan Society.com 2014 by Karen Zieff | personal website: www.zieffphoto.com | tel:718.852.1884 | toll free at 888.353.4248 | e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com **NOTE: Karen Zieff is available for assignments locally and around the world. Karen Zieff is regarded as one of the region's top wedding and special events photographers. Karen is a RISD graduate who shoots digital for ManhattanSociety.com but is by training a film photographer.Read More
1089 / 1997
ECAD1417062014Alan NicholsAnnual Club DinnerApollo F1 Recovery TeamBrian GreeneBuzz AldrinDon WalshECADElon MuskExplorers ClubFranklin ChangDiazJeff BezosKathryn SullivanKellie GerardiKristin RomneyMaria ZuberMichael LopezAlegriaNYCNew York CityPrince Jigyel Ugyen WangchuckRosemarie Keough Pat KeoughStephen HawkingSylvia EarleTim HawkingWaldorf Astoria HotelWalter Munk


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From his point of view, Americans are consistently obsessed with certain questions: How can you keep track of students' performance if you don't test them constantly? How can you improve teaching if you have no accountability for bad teachers or merit pay for good teachers? How do you foster competition and engage the private sector? How do you provide school choice?
The answers Finland provides seem to run counter to just about everything America's school reformers are trying to do.
For starters, Finland has no standardized tests. The only exception is what's called the National Matriculation Exam, which everyone takes at the end of a voluntary upper-secondary school, roughly the equivalent of American high school.
Instead, the public school system's teachers are trained to assess children in classrooms using independent tests they create themselves. All children receive a report card at the end of each semester, but these reports are based on individualized grading by each teacher. Periodically, the Ministry of Education tracks national progress by testing a few sample groups across a range of different schools.
As for accountability of teachers and administrators, Sahlberg shrugs. "There's no word for accountability in Finnish," he later told an audience at the Teachers College of Columbia University. "Accountability is something that is left when responsibility has been subtracted."
For Sahlberg what matters is that in Finland all teachers and administrators are given prestige, decent pay, and a lot of responsibility. A master's degree is required to enter the profession, and teacher training programs are among the most selective professional schools in the country. If a teacher is bad, it is the principal's responsibility to notice and deal with it.
And while Americans love to talk about competition, Sahlberg points out that nothing makes Finns more uncomfortable. In his book Sahlberg quotes a line from Finnish writer named Samuli Puronen: "Real winners do not compete." It's hard to think of a more un-American idea, but when it comes to education, Finland's success shows that the Finnish attitude might have merits. There are no lists of best schools or teachers in Finland. The main driver of education policy is not competition between teachers and between schools, but cooperation.
Finally, in Finland, school choice is noticeably not a priority, nor is engaging the private sector at all. Which brings us back to the silence after Sahlberg's comment at the Dwight School that schools like Dwight don't exist in Finland.
"Here in America," Sahlberg said at the Teachers College, "parents can choose to take their kids to private schools. It's the same idea of a marketplace that applies to, say, shops. Schools are a shop and parents can buy what ever they want. In Finland parents can also choose. But the options are all the same."


text:
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Warrant issued for man charged with opening fire in neighborhoods
02/20/2013 7:22amNew charges have been filed against a Las Vegas man accused of opening fire in two Salt Lake County neighborhoods during a three-day period in November.
Senator seeks to end credit monitoring for health department hack victims
02/20/2013 9:08amOne lawmaker is questioning the need for Utah's free credit monitoring service, which was established when hundreds of thousands of Utahns had personal information stolen.
Man claims water in gasoline led to costly repairs
02/20/2013 10:00amA quick stop at a gas station turned into a major frustration for a Kaysville man. He believes the gasoline he bought was contaminated with water.
Montana road kill bill brings practice in Utah to light
02/20/2013 10:13amMontana's legislature is hearing a bill that would allow its citizens to eat road kill. In Utah, the practice is legal, but not recommended.
SUU basketball moving ahead after player arrest
02/20/2013 10:42amDays after the arrest of Southern Utah guard Wade Collie, the Thunderbird men's basketball team is still feeling the ripple effects of losing its third-leading scorer.
LDS Church growth helping make Africa a 'bright land full of hope'
02/20/2013 11:14amIn December 2012, the LDS Church reached a significant milestone as the 3,000th stake was organized. Perhaps even more significant is the location of this stake: Sierra Leone, a West African country known for its tragic and violent history.
U.S. energy boom: It's the real deal
02/20/2013 11:48amAfter decades of aspiration, the United States is now looking at a clear path to energy security. This is influencing everything from the way policymakers conduct foreign policy to the decisions business leaders make regarding production of goods. For the first time in a long time, energy is a big advantage for the American economy.
Lawmakers look to stop alleged adoption agency fraud
02/20/2013 12:12pmA bill has been proposed at the Utah State Legislature that would bar "fraudulent representations" in adoptions. If it passes, adoption agencies could face penalties, including having their licenses suspended or even revoked, for fraudulent activity.
Landslide closes Highway 89 near Page
02/20/2013 1:31pmIf you're headed south of Page, Ariz., on Highway 89, you may want to find a different route.
Chase ends when driver crashes truck into house
02/20/2013 5:25pmA chase involving a stolen truck ended when the truck hit a car and then a house Wednesday afternoon, police said.
Women used drugs, hot sauce to abuse boy, police say
02/20/2013 5:31pmTwo women have been arrested for alleged ongoing abuse against a teenage boy after police say they duct taped him, forced drugs on him and poured Tabasco sauce in his eyes.
Air Force A-10 Warthog makes emergency landing at Price airport
02/20/2013 5:33pmAn Air Force A-10 aircraft out of Arizona made an emergency landing at the Price Airport Wednesday.
2 hospitalized in North Salt Lake dump truck crash
02/20/2013 5:36pmTwo people were injured after a runaway dump truck rolled and crashed into another vehicle Wednesday morning.
Wednesday's Child: Thomas
02/20/2013 5:38pmThis week's Wednesday's Child doesn't have any shortage of enthusiasm or sense of humor. What he needs is a permanent family to share it with.
Gun debate sparks several bills in Utah Legislature
02/20/2013 5:49pmLawmakers heard several separate bills about guns and gun control Wednesday, and three are getting a lot of attention.
State faces millions of cyber attacks per day, department head says
02/20/2013 6:58pmThe state's secure government networks face an alarming number of cyber attacks. They happen daily, are continuing to grow in number, and have spiked in recent years.
Police dash-cam shows disastrous end to high-speed car chase
02/20/2013 7:14pmVideo from a police dash-cam was released Wednesday and shows the conclusion of an unusual chase on I-80 between the Utah Highway Patrol and a 14-year-old runaway.
Latino youth aim to increase parent involvement in school
02/20/2013 8:09pmMany schools say that attendance at parent-teacher conferences places a big role in student success. But at least one school has noticed a troubling trend: Parental attendance is diminishing. Now, a group of students has found an innovative way to help.
Zions Bank in Farmington robbed; police search for suspect
02/20/2013 8:35pmPolice are looking for a man suspected of robbing a Zions Bank in Farmington Wednesday night.
14 of 15 animal cruelty charges dropped against Weber County rancher
02/20/2013 8:47pmA Weber County rancher in a dispute over horses belonging to some Utah County ranchers was booked on 15 counts of animal cruelty last month. Wednesday, 14 of those charges were dropped.
Boy with muscular dystrophy inspires thousands through Facebook
02/20/2013 10:25pm11-year-old Mitchell Jones has Duchene muscular dystrophy and his heart is rapidly deteriorating. There is nothing doctors can do to repair the heart damage but his remarkable attitude and his family's faith have inspired thousands through a Facebook page.
Audits show serious errors at DWS over 5 years
02/20/2013 10:44pmFive years of audits released Tuesday by the Office of the Utah State Auditor show a pattern of serious errors made by the department in multiple areas.
Vietnam Veteran's Memorial organization requests photos of fallen Utahns
02/20/2013 10:46pmThe founder of the Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C., was in Utah Wednesday to ask for help in a project that will broaden history of the war. The organization wants photographs of all of those killed in Vietnam, including our Utahns.
Driver arrested as family mourns death of Provo bicyclist
02/20/2013 11:21pmA woman was arrested Wednesday after police say she hit a bicyclist with her vehicle last week, pushing him into the path of an oncoming FrontRunner train that killed him. Douglas Crow's family got word of the arrest on the eve of his funeral.
Provo sees 13-percent drop in serious crime rate
02/20/2013 11:39pmA new approach in Provo is showing success in stopping crime. The police chief credits the drop to better communication and accountability and believes it's because everyone is talking about problems they are seeing — and everyone is involved in finding solutions.
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Sunset Booze Cruise Magaluf 2018
Magaluf Boat Parties 2019
Friday, 24 August 2018 from 16:30 to 20:30 (CEST)
Event Details
The Biggest and award winning Boat Party in Magaluf meeting at the famous Linekers Bar on the beach Sailing several days a week in Magaluf throughout Summer 2018 between April & September. The Boat Party has featured on Magaluf Weekender, MTV's Castaway, Sun Sea and Suspicious Parents and has featured in FHM's 'Top 50 things to do before you're 30.'
Our Boat Party Events in Magaluf 2018 take place on a £2,000,000 VIP Catamaran, which has a 250 person capacity and boasts a DJ Booth, Massive Dance Floor a fully stocked Bar, Smoke machine, Trampoline nets and a Diving board. Just imagine an amazing floating Club in the crystal clear ocean.
Enjoy a 3 Hour Unlimited Free Bar at the Boat Party the drinks included are Beer, Sangria, Shots of Sambuca, Apple Sourz, Vodka Skittles. You will also experiece the crazy Champagne spray to get the crowd going.
For the amazing memories we include with the boat party ticket a Free Sunset Booze Cruise Magaluf 2018 T-Shirt for you to take home.
DJ's & CELEBRITY APPEARENCES
Top DJ's from the UK, Miami & Spain. Celebrity appearances, we have had the likes of the Geordie Shore Cast and Magaluf Weekender on the boat parties and expect many more in Summer 2018.
We anchor the boat and stop at a popular swimming area whilst on the boat we have crazy games and competitions you can get your mates involved embarrass them or if that is not your thing don't worry you can stay at the bar and enjoy the free flow of booze & soak in the sun or take a swim or jump off the boats diving board its up to you!
Online access to HD Photography & Video. Also we include Free entrance to the After Party, "Shipwrecked" which is held at one of Magaluf's top clubs on the notorious Punta ballena bar strip AKA the Maga strip.
More information about the Sunset Booze Cruise Magaluf 2018 go to
Where do I pay the remaining balance when I arrive in Magaluf?
You come to our office at the famous Linekers Bar on the Beach or for bigger groups we can arrange for a rep to come to your hotel these details are in your email confirmation as soon as you have booked.
Do I need to Pay the remaining balance in Pounds or Euro's?
You can pay the balance in Pounds or Euro's.
What are my transport/parking options getting to the event?
Sunset Booze Cruise provide transport from the meeting point, "Linekers" to and from the Boat Party.
Where can I contact the organiser with any questions or to find out more?
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com
Call: 0161 298 1830
Whatsapp: +447473376534
Do I have to bring my printed ticket to the event?
You need to print out the email confirmation if you are unable to print you can show the confirmation on your mobile phone.
What is the refund policy?
Reservations can only be refunded if the boat party is cancelled.
When & Where
Sunset Booze Cruise
18 Punta Ballena
07181 Calvia,Majorca
Friday, 24 August 2018 from 16:30 to 20:30 (CEST)
Add to my calendar
Magaluf Boat Parties 2019
Check out the Boat Parties Below For this Summer


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This letter might be too long in coming, but it's not too late to commend Jay Goettler for his free music review held Feb. 24 at Butler County Community College's Succop Theater.
It was a very enjoyable, toe-tapping program.
What better place to be on a wintry Sunday afternoon.
Butler is indeed someplace special.


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Wikipedia: "Sitges (Catalan pronunciation: [ˈsidʒəs], Catalan for silos) is a Spanish town about 35 kilometres southwest of Barcelona, renowned worldwide for its Film Festival and Carnival. Located between the Garraf Massif and the sea, it is known for its much-frequented beaches, nightspots, and historical sites.
While the roots of Sitges' artsy reputation date back to the late 19th century, when Catalan painter Santiago Rusiñol took up residence there during the summer, the town in the 1960s became a centre for the counterculture on the mainland of Spain (then still under the dictatorship of Francisco Franco), and became known as a sort of "Ibiza in miniature".
Today, Sitges' economy is based on tourism and culture offering more than 4,500 hotel beds, half of them in four-star hotels."


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Kick Ass T Koat Super Alloy Steel Tip Darts - Purple 23gm
Sku: 00-23kpr-23
Suggested Retail
$20.00 Our Price
$16.00 You Save
$4.00 - 20%
$20.00 Our Price
$16.00 You Save
$4.00 - 20%
- Description
Kick Ass Super Alloy is the ideal introduction to the world of steel tip darts. If you are looking for quality and craftsmanship at an affordable price, Kick Ass Super Alloy is the right choice. Kick Ass is available in four brilliant colors
Super Alloy barrels
Tapered Steel Tip Fixed Points
2ba Shafts
Standard Flights
Barrel length - 47.63mm
Barrel diameter - 9.92mm
All darts sold in a set of 3
- Specifications
Barrel Diameter: 9.50mm - 9.99mm
Barrel Length: 45.00mm - 49.99mm
Barrel Weight: 23gm
Brand: Bottelsen
Category: Darts
Color: Purple
Dart Weight: 23gm
Full Weight: 25gm
Length: 47.63mm
Material: Super Alloy
Model: Kick Ass
Quantity: 3
Thread Type: 2ba
Type: Steel Tip Darts
Width: 9.92mm
The dart you order should match with the Barrel pictured. All other components of the dart (flights, shafts and tips) may vary in color and length upon receipt.
Please call with any questions if you are concerned about the components of your dart
The diameter measurement is the fattest part of the barrel
This is the barrel length only and is rounded to the nearest 16th of an inch
The barrel length and diameter are subject to change by the manufacturer without notice.
Darts with any type of coating are not guaranteed due to wear and tear. Some Manufactures do warranty their darts against fractures and breakage. However, coatings are NOT guaranteed (this includes titanium, grafix or any type of paint on the barrel)
- Reviews


text:
Maureen Corrigan
Maureen Corrigan, book critic for NPR's Fresh Air, is a critic-in-residence and lecturer at Georgetown University. She is an associate editor of and contributor to Mystery and Suspense Writers (Scribner) and the winner of the 1999 Edgar Award for Criticism, presented by the Mystery Writers of America. Corrigan's literary memoir, Leave Me Alone, I'm Reading! was published in 2005. Corrigan is also a reviewer and columnist for The Washington Post's Book World. In addition to serving on the advisory panel of The American Heritage Dictionary, she has chaired the Mystery and Suspense judges' panel of the Los Angeles Times Book Prize.


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As you all know, this November a bunch of our esteemed NHCers submitted their lists of their Top 25 Worst Episodes of all time, to compose a new Bottom 50 List. Overall, we had 33 lists submitted for consideration which we compiled into this overall list below.
Methodology - For scoring, each episode that appears on a list scored 25 point for a #1 rank (as worst ever), 24 pts for #2, 23 points for #3... All the way down to 1 pt for 25th place. And, of course, all unranked episodes would score zero points for that list.
Highest base point total wins, with the tie-breaker being the number of lists an episode appeared on. The double-tie breaker goes to the episode with the higher individual ranking on any of the lists.
(We tossed around doing bonuses for appearing on multiple lists, but when I ran the count, everything evened out really well. The episodes at the top of the rankings were in the majority of the lists and the later ones weren't in as many.)
50. The Parent Rap
49. The Mansion Family
48. Dude, Where's My Ranch?
47. Eight Misbehavin
46. You Kent Always Say What You Want
45. Papa Don't Leech
44. Simpsons Tall Tales
43. E Pluribus Wiggum
42. How Munched is That Birdie in the Window?
41. I'm Goin' to Praiseland
40. When You Dish Upon a Star
39. The Lastest Gun in the West
38. Homer's Paternity Coot
37. A Tale of Two Springfields
36. Marge and Homer Turn a Couple Play
35. Angry Dad: The Movie
34. G.I. (Annoyed Grunt)
33. All Singing All Dancing
32. Homer Simpson, This is Your Wife
31. Rome-old and Juli-eh
30. Co-Dependents Day
29. Thursdays With Abie
28. Another Simpsons Clip Show
27. Alone Again Natura-Diddly
26. Pokey Mom
25. Homer and Ned's Hail Mary Pass
24. Homer Simpson in Kidney Trouble
23. Gump Roast
22. Bonfire of the Manatees
21. Helter Shelter
20. The Fool Monty
19. Mona Leaves-a
18. Treehouse of Horror XXII
17. Saddlesore Galactica
16. Judge Me Tender
15. The Italian Bob
14. Simpson Safari
13. Homer vs Dignity
12. Bart to the Future
11. Love is a Many Strangled Thing
10. Tennis the Menace
9. Elementary School Musical
8. Million Dollar Abie
7. It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Marge
6. That 90s Show
5. Kill Gill Volumes I & II
4. Husbands and Knives
3. Bart-Mangled Banner
2. Kill the Alligator and Run
1. The Greatest Story Ever Doh'ed
Looks like KTAAR has been supplanted as the NHC's least favorite Simpsons episode And the race actually wasn't even all that close... The Greatest Story Ever Doh'ed really took a big lead and extended that lead as more and more lists came in. All in all, The Greatest Story ended up on 22/33 lists, which is pretty staggering considering we're picking only 25 out of a field of almost 500 episodes. KTAAR appeared in 18/33, and Bart Mangled Banner 16/25.
A bunch of stats and observations to come in the next post.
Well, at least I made my 2K post a semi-important one.


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The final stop of the Vans x Sun Diego Am Slam was supposed to be at San Diego's Memorial park, however due to complications it was moved back to Carmel Valley. As they say the show must go on. Full results below video & gallery.
Photos by Joe Picciolo
Pro Am
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Gage Boyle
Austin Hellman
Alexis Ramirez


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Ashlie Bundy opened her photography studio in 2006 with her mom in their darling Pleasant Grove location. Back then they had no intentions of breaking into the fashion world but after numerous requests they decided to add to their successful photography studio and become Bliss
photography studio & boutique.
Visiting their studio really is a blissful experience, weather you want to capture the first few days of your sweet, sleepy newborn's life or you want a casual, candid family photo that reflects your families' personality, Ashlie will be sure to capture those moments that you will cherish forever.
Bliss Photography offers a variety fun backgrounds for photographing your little ones in the studio and for families Ashlie has several different outdoor locations from which to choose.
They also offer fun keepsakes like the ceramic handprint impressions, custom collages, antique
picture frames, and enlargements.
DISCOUNT: For those of you who do not win...don't fret, Bliss Photography is offering $25 off any sitting for all Give Away Today readers. Bliss Photography & Boutique is located at 105 South 100 East in Pleasant Grove, Utah. They are open Tues-Fri 11-5 and Saturday 10-2 Photography is by appointment only. Hurry and schedule your holiday sitting today:)
Today Bliss Photography is giving away a free photography sitting including a high resolution cd and proofs of every picture from the sitting...it is has a $199 value. And one lucky winner will be receiving it all absolutely free!
Example: Jane Doe
For a second entry, become a Facebook Fan of Bliss Boutique here. Once you have done this, return to Give Away Today and in a NEW comment tell us your first and last name and "Fan"
Example: Jane Doe: Fan
For a third entry, please add Bliss Boutique's button to your blog or website. You can grab the button on the right-hand side of their blog here. Once you have added their button to your blog or website, in a NEW comment tell us your first and last name and "Button"
Example: Jane Doe: Button
The winner of the photography session from Bliss Photography will be announced tomorrow Thursday, November 5th. Please visit us then to see if you are our winner and to discover our new giveaway for the day. Thanks!


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If you're a farmer or rancher, you know yours is a risky occupation. But even with hazards at every turn, you also know that an ounce of prevention can be all you need to keep those risks from becoming realities.
Nonfatal injuries happen to about one-third of all farm workers every year. And while safety measures should be followed at all times, taking one day out of the year to remind everyone in your farm or ranch operation of the proper safety procedures can make a big difference in preventing injury at your business. In the following sections, we're offering a list of important safety checks to make throughout the year.
Safety Year-Round
When operating equipment, make sure you know where others are standing or working. Today's large farm equipment can have multiple big blind spots. If others are working nearby make sure they're aware of where you're going and are able to get out of the way.
Walk through your farm making a list of equipment that is in need of repair. Keep an eye out for loose platforms, handrails or other obstructed pathways, and once you've completed your list begin tackling repairs immediately.
Double check that LP and natural gas lines have been inspected and are in good working order.
Make sure there's a safety protocol in place for checking all electrical components throughout the farm, including buildings, equipment, individual connections, wiring and breaker boxes.
Farm Safety During Harvest and Planting Season
Farm accidents are typically most frequent in June, July and August, and accidents in rural environments can be even more dangerous due to the time it can take for an injured person to reach a hospital. It's more important than ever to take extra precautions as you go through planting and harvesting season.
Use Protective Equipment
One of the most important farm safety steps you can take is to ensure that all safety features on your equipment are working properly before you begin work. Always use protective equipment like seat belts, gloves, goggles and face shields.
Be aware that methane gas, carbon dioxide, ammonia and hydrogen sulfide can accumulate in unventilated grain silos and manure pits and cause serious injury. Do your best to avoid these accidents by informing your farm or ranch hands about the risks associated with different tasks.
Grain Silos: Storage Safety
When proper safety rules are followed, working in grain bins becomes just an everyday part of farm life. Always enter with a rope and safety harness and with at least two other people. This way, if something unforeseen happens, help is available.
Grain growers have distinct needs, which is why we offer a commercial agriculture insurance for your grain operation. We designed our policies to provide home, farm property and farm liability coverage, with the option to customize it to fit your needs. Whether you're a large or small operation, our farm insurance eliminates the need to carry multiple policies with different companies.
As you're getting ready for the season, do a thorough inspection of your grain bins and close the season with a post-inspection. Check the walls, roof and foundation for any issues. Make sure all fans and conveyors are working properly. Verify signage is visible. Remove any objects that clutter walkways and could lead to trip and fall injuries. Discuss the importance of cleaning up spilled grain and grain dust with your employees. The Grain Handling Safety Coalition has a page dedicated to resources for farmers to use with employees.
Use Machine Guarding
The CDC states that every day, about 167 agricultural workers suffer a lost-work-time injury, but simple safety advancements like machine guarding have gone a long way in keeping you and your workers safe. Installing the proper machine guarding, along with regular equipment maintenance, reduces the likelihood of accidents for the operators and keeps flying debris away from other workers in the area. Machine guards double as a way to increase your space by reducing the hazard area for the machine, and it keeps cleanup contained to a smaller area.
Be sure to install Roll-Over Protective Structure (ROPS) on your tractors. According to the CDC, tractor overturns were the leading cause of death for these farmers and farm workers. This piece of safety equipment is the best way to prevent tractor overturn. Also, ensure that all equipment is shut off before exiting the cab, and only allow riders on equipment that has a buddy seat and seat belt installed.
When dealing with PTO systems, make sure the safety cover is always in place, even when not in use. Loose clothing should be avoided, and always walk around tractors and machinery as opposed to stepping over a rotating shaft.
Farm Safety on the Road
During a farmer or rancher's busiest time of the year, it's common to need to take large equipment out on the road – and sometimes a busy highway. The National Safety Council estimates that 15,000 collisions involving farm vehicles occur on U.S. roadways each year. When operating farm equipment on the roads, follow these steps to make sure you're driving safely.
Display the Slow Moving Vehicle (SMV) symbol on your equipment.
Use emblems that are in good condition and securely attached. This symbol alerts other drivers of the equipment's slow speed and low maneuverability, but it doesn't help if other drivers can't see it. Display the symbol as high and to the left, and keep the sign clean so that it is effective.
Use flashers anytime you are on public roads.
Make sure your equipment follows the lighting recommendations from the American Society of Agricultural Engineers (ASAE):
Be cautious of old bridges.
Before crossing a bridge, make sure your vehicle weight will not damage the bridge or cause it to collapse. Allow oncoming traffic to pass the bridge before crossing, as rural bridges are often very narrow. This will reduce the weight on the bridge at one time and gives everyone more space.
Beware of Severe Weather
You know all too well that Mother Nature is unpredictable. During the summer months, your farm or ranch operation will likely face severe weather at some point. Here are some tips to help you keep you safe during storm season.
Know the warning signs of tornadoes.
Many farmers are familiar with the dark, often greenish sky that warns of dangerous weather. Large hail with no rain or a sudden drop in the wind can also be signs that a tornado is possible. If your employees see signs of threatening weather, make sure they know the procedure for getting to safety, no matter where they are at the time.
In the case of a tornado, leave your vehicle or tractor.
It may seem safer, but in fact, you should leave your vehicle. Find a low-lying area, such as a ditch, and cover your head with your arms to protect yourself from flying debris.
Have a plan for your livestock in case of flooding.
Have an evacuation plan in place for your livestock, should you need to move them to higher ground.
Develop and maintain a list of all people connected with your farm.
There are many people to be notified if there is an emergency. Create a list containing the contact information for family members, employees, employee family members, suppliers and anyone else who is regularly tied to the production of your farm or ranch.
For more information and videos on ag safety, visit the American Farm Bureau Federation's Agricultural Safety Awareness Program page.
Costs Associated with Farm Accidents
According to the National Agricultural Safety Database (NASD), about 19 percent of the farm population loses work-time each year from being involved in farm accidents. Aside from the cost associated with medical care for the actual injury, all too often these accidents result in missed work, which adds another cost to the accident.
Although there isn't an exact number for the economic cost of farm accidents, the NASD states that hospitalization and medical treatment accounts for nearly a fourth of the total cost of the operation. Immediately reduce your risk by scheduling all your equipment maintenance. The upfront cost could equate to a two-fold return on investment, not to mention avoiding the pain and hassle of injury.
Learn more about how farm insurance coverage from Farm Bureau can protect what matters most when the unexpected strikes.
http://www.cdc.gov/niosh/topics/aginjury/ l


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Hot Careers
in Fire and Rescue
Rising Skyline Presents New Challenges to Firefighters
[gate] ATLANTIC CITY — Next year, the city's skyline will grow taller with the completion of Revel's 710-foot casino — 200 feet higher than Harrah's, which is now the city's tallest building. Only the 781-foot Goldman Sachs Building in Jersey City will be taller in the state. The towering plans raise the question: Can the city's ...
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Whether you are a volunteer or Chief, every department has a set of natural leaders keeping station ...Rated: +50 | Taken 8,285 times
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From medical emergencies to forest fires, EMTs, paramedics, and firefighters must hone their skills to step up ...Rated: +113 | Taken 7,840 times
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Smokejumping may look glamorous, but it is a serious job for highly-trained wildland firefighters. It combines risky ...Rated: +45 | Taken 5,941 times
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You do your job religiously. The game depends on it. Designed with a goalie's natural movements in mind, the Pro Leg Pad allows for easier butterflies, slides and blocks, including a unique post wedge panel that takes away the edge of the goal when you're standing, limiting shot options. Block the puck, control the puck, clear the puck – with the Ritual sticks, blockers and gloves working in perfect concert. A full-throttle, heavy metal rock concert.
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Allows the outer portion of knee cradle to twist when going into a butterfly.
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Wage growth 'at virtual standstill'
Real wage growth in the developed world has come to a "virtual standstill" since 2009 and has fallen in some countries, according to a new report.
Wages fell by between 2% and 5% a year in Greece, Portugal, Ireland and Spain, resulting in "real hardship" for low-paid workers, the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) said.
The Paris-based think tank, which covers 34 countries, added that unemployment would remain well above pre-crisis levels next year in most countries.
Wages fell by between 2% and 5% a year in Greece, Portugal, Ireland and Spain, the report found
Average jobless rates will fall slightly over the next 18 months in the OECD area, from 7.4% this year to 7.1% at the end of 2015, the report said.
"While wage cuts have helped contain job losses and restore competitiveness to countries with large deficits before the crisis, further reductions may be counter-productive and neither create jobs nor boost demand," OECD secretary-general Angel Gurria said.
"Governments around the world, including the major emerging economies, must focus on strengthening economic growth and the most effective way is through structural reforms to enhance competition in product and services markets.
"This will boost investment, productivity, jobs, earnings and well-being."
Long-term unemployment is likely to have peaked but remains a major concern, the report concluded.
Just over 16 million people - more than one in three of the unemployed - had been out of work for 12 months or more in the first quarter of 2014, almost double the number at the start of the economic crisis.
In countries hardest hit, notably in Southern Europe, this had led to a rise in structural unemployment which would not be automatically reversed by a pick-up in economic growth, the OECD warned.
Employment has been increasing in the UK for the past two years, while unemployment has been falling.
Latest figures showed over 30 million people in work in this country, 820,000 more than a year ago, while the jobless total has dipped to just over two million, a rate of 6.4%, the lowest since late 2008.
TUC general secretary Frances O'Grady commented: "The OECD has now joined the Bank of England in sharing the TUC's concern that falling real wages are bad for both workers and the wider economy.
"With profit levels rising businesses must start paying their staff more. Fairer wages are the only way to ensure that working people get a proper share of the recovery."
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