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Hire Bands, Musicians and Singers in WalesACE Music Booking Agency provides a 0% agency fee and 0% commission service to find great live music in to suit your event.
See below for a wide variety of music acts performing in Wales.
These acts are only a small selection of music acts performing in Wales from our network. If what you are looking for is not shown, tell us about your event and we will provide a great music act for you!
Midnight Riders
4 piece blues band fronted by American singer & harmonica player Russ Berry playing the finest blues music from the likes of ZZ Top, Clapton, Skynyrd ...
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One Jump Ahead
Huge repertoire includes the best of the Great American Songbook, jazz swing, jump/jive rhythm & blues, classic rock'n'roll, Soul/Motown hits ...
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Freya Alley
Driven, direct and versatile singer songwriter. Her sound is a unique combination of amazing pop music, electronica and a lot more ...
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Abbagirls (ABBA Tribute)
Abbagirls. The original and first ABBA tribute band from the UK established in 1995. Such is their success that we have performed all over the world ...
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Brand New Daze
Quickly becoming one of the leading Function bands on the circuit today! In high demand and internationally renowned, Brand New Daze perform chart ...
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Monroe Acoustic
Monroe are a cut above the typical function bands. Consisting of a collective of top-level, professional musicians Monroe have performed and recorded ...
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Fee Fee and The Sentiments
5 piece rock&roll band with sets of rock and roll, classic hits and pop songs with a vintage twist. Our performances have got the crowd up and dancing! ...
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Steve Young UK
Steve Young. Acoustic Guitarist & Singer, a highly recommended Corporate Entertainer. He will deliver a performance you'll talk about ...
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Rachel Abbott
Soprano who can sing lots of different types of music. I mainly sing opera but also love singing Jazz, musical, pop, rock, oratorio, song cycles ...
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Featured Acts Performing in Wales
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Helpful Wales Live Music Hire Articles
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Booking Help and Advice
Help and Advice When You Hire Bands, Musicians and Singers in WalesSee below for some answers to frequently asked questions when booking live music. If your question is not displayed below, please feel free to get in touch with us via live chat or contact form. Happy to help!
"How can I book a band or musician?"It's easy to hire a band, musician or singer. Let us know the type of music you have in mind. Add some information on the event you are planning and we'll do all the work! We can find you great bands and musicians for your booking. If you want more control you can add more information. This can help us find exactly what you are looking for. For example, the size of the band you prefer or the venue permits. Or the genre of music you'd like (for example Rock, Pop, the '60s). The type of event (if you're planning a wedding reception we can find you expert wedding bands). Your budget (this will ensure only music acts within your price range will apply). Any other info which you feel may help. For example, tell us it's for a 75th birthday party we can find you some great classic bands for hire to get the night swinging! Once completed, press the 'Set us to work!' button and we'll search our network for the right music acts for hire which matches your request. It's as easy as 1, 2, 3 or you can take control and get exactly the music you need for your event.
"How long do musicians for hire take to set-up?"Setting up time varies depending on the number of musicians involved. A solo violinist can be ready in a few minutes. A solo singer or duo may need 30 minutes to an hour. Whereas a 10-piece function band for hire may take an hour to 90 minutes. This is to position the musicians on stage, prepare the equipment and sound-check. If this is a wedding or a private event, they may need to arrive earlier. In either case, it is best to agree with the bands about the time of arrival. This will allow them to prepare for your event. This should ideally be before your guests or patrons arrive.
"I need to cancel or re-arrange a musician or band booked, what do I do?"This is best done direct with the chosen live music artist as soon as possible. You can contact the band, musician or singer for hire you selected for the event. Simply changing your mind is not usually a good enough reason to cancel! Please ensure you provide the music acts with as much notice as possible. They may not be able to schedule another performance on the cancellation date. This could lead to a loss of earnings for them.
When you discuss the terms with your music act please cover the cancellation details. Musicians and bands are human-beings too. Likely they will understand if you have a genuine reason for the cancellation. If you have to re-arrange an engagement you should contact the band or musician. Let them know and when you would like them to perform. They may need time to check their calendar (or many calendars if there are many musicians in the band!) before they can confirm the re-arrangement.
"What if the musician/band cancels?"If a music act cancels you will need to find a replacement band, singer or musician as soon as possible. We recommend entering another live music hire form. As we may have many bands, singers and musicians available at the last minute. You should then decide the impact of the cancellation. If the cancellation has not allowed enough time to find a replacement you may incur a loss. This should be cross-referenced with the agreement with the band, singer or musician. You can download a live music hire Engagement Agreement document to use when you book a band or musician.
"Can I see the musicians perform live before booking?"Of course! All our musicians, singers and bands for hire are active acts. The band selected for your engagement is very likely to be working in your local area. It may not be the case if they a high production tribute band. But, many bands and musicians have websites which they can direct you to. They will usually include a list of the dates they are playing and where. Provided it's a public event, pop along and have a listen. If you like what you hear don't forget to introduce yourselves. Let them know you discovered them via the ACE Music Booking Agency website. You can also discuss a pre-booking viewing when you discuss your booking with the bands. They will be very happy to let you know when you can see them play and to discuss your booking in detail.
"Is it possible to pick the songs the musicians will perform?"Choosing which songs to perform depends a great deal on the type of band, singer or musician you are booking. Some bands for hire will work very hard on a particular series of songs. Sometimes linking many songs together into a medley. They will be likely to have a routine to last the entire evening which they have perfected. In this case, it is very difficult for them to change the order of songs to include your choice. But, they may still be able to perform a special song for you. Your first dance song for example. Other bands or singers for hire will be happy to play any song you request. Providing you give them enough notice to learn them.
Many international musicians, singers and bands to hire travel the world with over 300 songs in their repertoire. They will likely know the songs you like already! In both cases, don't be afraid to ask! It is important you get exactly the music you want at your event.
"Will the wedding band for hire learn a first dance song request?"Yes. Or at least they should! In the many years of operating as a professional agency, we have never come across a wedding musician or band that will not be happy to learn a song for your first dance. But, you should to bear in mind the type of song you have requested and the style of the band you have chosen. Some bands may not fit the instrumentation and music style. They may not be able to represent the song you chose. For example, choosing a hip-hop multi-vocal song for a solo cello player! In this case, it could be better to have the band play the official MP3 version through their PA system instead.
"How loud will the band be?"The volume a band performs will depend on the type of instruments involved. Particularly un-amplified instruments like drums and brass which have a set volume level. Amplified instruments will then set their volumes to blend the music. If you have chosen a band that is all amplified (a hi-tech band for hire using backing tracks for example) then their volume can be set as quiet as the lowest level at which they can sing without the dry sound (the voice before microphone amplification) being heard.
"Will the band be suitable for sound limiters?"This will depend on the level of the sound limiter and the type of band selected. If your venue has a sound limiter this is something that should be discussed when booking the band. If you are unsure then it is best to choose a band which is all amplified. The sound produced will be more controllable than a band with un-amplified instruments. (Drums for example.) Many musicians for hire have experience in working with sound limitations. They will be able to advise whether they will have an issue.
"Do I need to provide anything for the musicians?"You will only need to provide a space in which to perform and payment. The space they need will depend on the size of the band you are booking. This can vary from as little as 2 meters to as much as an orchestra pit! The musicians for hire have experience in the space the band uses and will be able to tell you in more detail. The payment for the engagement should be issued by prior arrangement. This is usually via a BACS transfer in the week leading up to the event, issued in cash at the end of the performance or payment via cheque.
"What if I have a complaint about the musician/band?"If you have a complaint this should be raised as soon as possible with the music act themselves. The sooner a band knows there is an issue the quicker they can rectify the problem if it is within their power to do so. A great way to avoid complaints is to use the ACE Music Booking Agents Engagement Agreement form. This covers many of the areas which can result in a complaint if not agreed before the performance. For example, when the band is to arrive, set-up, play, break, finish. Also includes an agreement about cancellations and payments.
"How will the musicians plan my event's performance?"Exactly what you want them to as agreed! This usually takes the form of their arrival before the event is to start to set-up and sound-check. They will then make themselves scarce or get changed into their performance costume. Once the music begins the band or musician you have chosen will start their performance. This will be by the type of music you heard from the examples they provided. They will play for the agreed amount of time, usually taking small break in-between sets. At the end, they will pack up their equipment, and depending on your agreement, accept payment and leave.
"What equipment will the musicians provide?"The band will supply all the equipment they need to perform at your venue. If you have any particular equipment requests (laser lights for example!) then please discuss these with the band booked beforehand. Likely the band will provide a lighting system suitable to the venue, a PA system capable of supporting their amplification needs and enough great songs to get everyone in attendance dancing and singing along all night long!
"Will the musicians need a lot of space?"The amount of space the bands and musicians will need varies. This depends on whether you're looking for a solo musician, 4-piece band or big bands. Small bands will not need a large space and may only need one plug socket to perform. Whereas a 10 piece band will be best suited to a big stage area. These bands may need extra plug sockets for the increased amount of musical equipment they will supply to your event. Please discuss the space your music act requires before the booking engagement.
"How long do musicians perform?"As long as you want them to! Generally, bands and musicians perform in sections of 45 minutes to an hour. This is usually with a small break in-between usually lasting around 15 to 20 minutes. So if you want your music act to perform across 3 hours, it is quite likely the band will play for 45 minutes 3 times. Some bands performing across 2 hours, would play for 45 minutes, take a 15-minute break then play for the whole last hour. There are also bands that when asked to perform across 3 hours will do that without a break! You can discuss and agree how long you want your band to perform their music sets and break duration.
"Can I tailor my music act's performance?"That will depend on how exactly you want to tailor the band's show! Many bands are happy to discuss any ways in which they can perfectly fit your event. For example, to wear themed clothing or to perform a particular genre of songs. You may want particular songs performed at particular times or make announcements. Let the music act know exactly what you would like to change or add. Especially if you plan to have them swinging from the chandeliers!
"How much will it cost to hire a band or musician?"This will depend on the bands and musicians in the area and what your budget may be. It may be unrealistic to request a world class function band for under 500 USD, GBP, EUR. It also matters for how long you want the band to perform at your event and if there are any extra requirements. You can detail what you have in mind on your band booking form. A local solo musician can be available from as little as 100 USD, GBP, EUR. Whereas a world class 10 piece wedding band can command thousands. ACE Music Booking Agency will find musicians for hire to fit your budget if you entered it onto your form. So you can rest assured you will be able to afford the musicians we find.
"What happens if a musician is ill?"Illness is something all music acts for hire should be prepared for. Usually, this means another musician (a deputy also known as a 'dep') stepping into the band for the event. This can also happen for solo acts, as a replacement dep. The deputy musician will be well versed in the music that the music act performs. You will be unlikely to hear any difference, although they may appear different. If the band or musician hasn't prepared a deputy or deputy is unavailable, they may have to cancel or perform without the ill musician. You will need to agree with the band or musician what happens in case of illness before the booking.
"Should I hire a solo singer or a band?"You are free to hire any size of act you see fit. You should bear in mind your event and space at your venue when booking your band. If you are having a party for friends in a small garden then a smaller band would be a good choice. Home gatherings would be great with an acoustic singer for hire. But, if you've hired a large hall with a big stage area then a large party or function band would be a better choice. They will be better equipped to fill the stage and the hall with sound. Just let us know on the booking form the size of band you prefer and we'll find it for you. If you're unsure or have no preference on the band size then leave this blank and we'll supply you with the best acts of different sizes to choose from.
"Do all music artists perform live?"The musicians and bands will perform live but not all shows are completely live. Although many bands are fully live, some bands will use musical backing tracks to perform with a larger sound. For example, a soloist may use a backing track accompaniment. If you have a preference then please discuss this with the band as they may rather perform to their maximum potential. Even world famous music artists use backing tracks!
"Can musicians play different styles of music?"Some cover bands can perform music across many genres and decades. Whereas others prefer to focus their band on a particular genre. To our experience, bands/musicians that play various music styles are perfect choices. Especially at events with a mixed age audience. For example, at a birthday party. If you want your band to perform different styles then simply enter this info into the booking form.
"What are the minimum power requirements for a music act?"For some bands, no power at all is needed. A string quartet does not need any power and is a great choice for venues where there are not any power outlets. Small music acts for hire will usually only need one or two power sockets. This depends on the type of instruments they play or equipment they use. Larger bands can need many power options to set-up in their correct configuration. When booking please ensure you discuss the power requirements and availability.
"Are the music artists PAT tested with adequate public liability insurance (PLI)?"Yes and yes! Every cover band and musician for hire on the ACE Music Booking Agency network needs to comply with portable appliance testing (PAT testing) requirements and will also need to have public liability insurance (PLI). This ensures that the band you choose to hire will be legally able to perform at your venue without issue. Although the musicians on our network cannot join without confirming both of these points you still need to check with them that their certifications are still valid for the date of performance.
"How do I make a booking?"Simply tell us what you have in mind here and receive direct price quotes from great music acts.
Entertainment ideas (Wales)You can choose different styles of music to fit your event perfectly. Just let us know what you have in mind and we will help you find the right act. Types of bands available in Wales include, rock pop bands, indie rock bands, world music acts, mariachi bands, live lounge style bands or electric violinists. These may be a great fit for corporate event entertainment, weddings and functions. Or maybe you're more interested in opera singers, classical guitarists, salsa bands and solo duos. For special occasions you might want to consider Christmas bands, brass bands, singing waiters, piano players or barn dance bands. Truth is, there are many different types of acts available in Wales. If you let us know roughly what you're looking for, we will be able to help you find a suitable act. Event entertainment acts to hire in Wales include pop function bands for hire for weddings and functions (including drinks receptions). These types of acts can also perform at any corporate event, private party or charity event. Bands play usually popular covers or rock covers from famous bands and themes such as, Bruno Mars, James Bond, Stevie Wonder, Dire Straits, Lady Gaga and many more. You can offer to customise the set-list the band performs to fit your event and they would be happy to help.
Looking to book local bands in Wales? Below are some examples of bands you could book for your event. Maybe have a rock pop function bands perform dance floor filling energetic numbers for your private party. Subtle classical guitarists can also to bring a classy atmosphere as your wedding entertainers. Or are you more interested in barn dance bands? It's always best to send your enquiry to be able to choose from the live bands available in Wales for your particular date. If you let us know about your live music entertainment ideas we will be able to help you find a fantastic act to hire in Wales.
Party entertainment (i.e. wedding party bands) acts are the most popular choices. Such as covers bands, motown bands, hard rock/metal bands, funk bands, wedding singers or rock and roll bands.
For intimate gatherings (i.e. birthday party bands) small Wales bands such as acoustic bands, acoustic duos or folk bands might be a great choice.
Corporate entertainment acts can be as subtle or energetic as you want them to be. Such as jazz bands, steel bands, background music acts, classical musicians, swing bands, gospel choirs, latin bands, rat packs or string quartets. Solo duos, live lounge style bands and rock covers bands are usually quite popular with pub and bar bookings too.
As you can see the list of Wales bands and travelling acts displayed on this page is only a selection. New artists are added on to our website every day and if you haven't seen what you're looking for yet, it's best to send us your enquiry and we will be in touch shortly.
In addition to musicians, singers and bands from Wales area, there are also many bands in the UK, US, Europe and all around the globe that are willing to travel to perform at your event. Most professional bands play nationwide and sometimes worldwide. Especially if you're considering to offer accommodation with your event, this may lower their costs as well.
If your venue has a sound limiter you may want to send enquiry for acoustic acts; such as singer guitarists. Some amplified music bands to hire may also be suitable for sound limiters as they would have volume control; such as electric violinists or singing waiters. For your wedding music please let us know if it's for your wedding ceremony, wedding breakfast or wedding receptions. Bands for weddings vary depending on the event types. As some bands to hire may only suit one section of your special day, whereas some bands for weddings may have the flexibility to perform for all.
For corporate functions you may find more experienced and versatile cover bands available to hire more suitable. These may include, singer guitarists, brass bands, indie rock bands, Irish bands or world music acts, depending on your selected music types.
Searching for live entertainment for most event types can be confusing and time wasting. The acts you finally decide on may not even be available for your date. This is why we strongly suggest to send an enquiry to receive direct price quotes from the live entertainment acts. The cover bands available will reserve your date for 7 days enabling the time to review, decide and make a booking.
If you have any questions you can always check our frequently asked questions.


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The Florida Highway Patrol arrested Gainesville Mayor Craig Lowe on a charge of DUI with property damage Thursday morning, according to jail records.
Gainesville Mayor Craig Lowe walked out of the Alachua County jail around 4:30 p.m. Thursday after being arrested earlier in the day on a DUI charge. The arrest came after Lowe crashed his car in the northeastern part of the county.
The Florida Highway Patrol reported that the single-car accident happened about 2:20 a.m. in the area of Northeast 21st Street and 156th Avenue.
Alachua County sheriff's deputies told an FHP trooper they saw Lowe behind the driver's seat when they first arrived and that he appeared intoxicated. Lowe, 55, told authorities that he had fallen asleep prior to the collision, which resulted in the crash.
The trooper, who arrived at the scene about 3:46 a.m., reported that he smelled alcohol and asked Lowe to perform field sobriety exercises. Lowe performed poorly on the tests, according to FHP.
Lowe told the trooper he had had three beers earlier in the evening, the last one about 10 p.m., the report states.
Lowe was arrested at about 4:58 a.m. At the jail, Lowe submitted to a breath test and registered a .061 and .069, according to the report. Florida law says any blood-alcohol level above .08 is considered legally drunk.
FHP Sgt. Tracy Pace said that given the time between the accident and the breath test at the jail, alcohol likely had started metabolizing out of Lowe's system.
Pace added that the Sheriff's Office was the first responding agency but that FHP was called to process the crash. She said it sometimes takes troopers time to get to accident scenes.
Sheriff's spokesman Art Forgey said he believes a resident of the area called authorities about a suspicious car.
"At least one deputy responded and found a vehicle parked at the Monteocha store with a person in it," Forgey said. "He began to talk to that person and noticed a lot of damage to the vehicle. Because it was involved in an accident, that's how FHP got involved."
Lowe was charged with DUI with property damage and careless driving, according to the FHP, and booked into the Alachua County jail.
Lowe initially was scheduled to make his first court appearance Friday at 9 a.m. but was allowed to leave jail early after County Court Judge David P. Kreider signed an order to release him on his own recognizance.
Because he was booked into the jail after 6 a.m., he missed the cutoff for Thursday's first appearance, a source at the jail said.
At some point Thursday, private defense attorney John Kearns contacted the State Attorney's Office and reached an agreement with unnamed prosecutors to release Lowe on his own recognizance. The judge subsequently signed the agreed order for the jail to release Lowe.
Leaving the jail, the mayor did not respond to reporters' questions about his arrest or his mayoral campaign. Looking down, he quickly climbed into the back seat of a waiting silver Nissan and was driven away.
"I wouldn't say that he got any special privileges because he's the mayor of Gainesville," Kearns said of Lowe's release. "You take a look at the type of people who are going to be released. In this case, it's a misdemeanor. I know it's a DUI, but it's not a felony. And this person has 30 years of ties to Gainesville and no criminal record."
State Attorney's Office spokesman Spencer Mann also downplayed the significance of Lowe's release ahead of schedule.
"It absolutely changes nothing," Mann said in a phone interview late Thursday. "Tomorrow morning at first appearance we would not object to him being released on his own recognizance.
"His attorney filed a motion with the court asking that he be released tonight on his own recognizance, so we're not objecting to that either. It doesn't change the outcome; it just changed when he was released."
FHP reported that Lowe's silver 2005 Honda Civic had major damage to its front and that all the tires were deflated after the wreck.
Lowe was traveling south on Northeast 21st Street approaching the intersection of Northeast 156th Avenue when he failed to maintain control of the Civic and went off the roadway and onto the south shoulder, the report states.
Lowe's car struck a ditch and a Florida Department of Transportation road sign on the south shoulder of the road before stopping on the south shoulder facing west.
FHP Trooper Javon Murphy reported that he smelled a strong odor of alcohol on Lowe and that his eyes were bloodshot and he was unsteady on his feet.
After being read his rights, Lowe was asked to perform several field sobriety tests, including the walk and turn, one-leg stand and finger to nose, all of which he performed poorly on, the report notes.
He then was arrested and taken to the Alachua County jail.
Connie O'Neal, whose home on 156th Avenue is at the crash site, said the crash was so loud it woke her and her brother.
"My brother thought somebody was shooting at his window," O'Neal said. "(Lowe) was talking slurry and tried to crank the car. He knew the car wouldn't crank or move."
According to Alachua County court records, Lowe's driving record shows citations in 1985 and 1986 for not having a valid tag on his vehicle.
On Tuesday, the mayor won a place in the April 16 runoff with former City Commissioner Ed Braddy in his bid for re-election.
Lowe's campaign manager, Nick Mildebrath, issued a statement just before 7 p.m. Thursday on behalf of the mayor, saying: "I apologize for the harm that this situation has caused to my friends, supporters, and the citizens of Gainesville. I feel that it's important to set the record straight. In the coming days, additional facts will come to light and I believe that I will (be) found not guilty in this case.
"I'm also thankful that no one was hurt, and I'm deeply sorry to anyone who feels I have violated the trust placed in me as an elected official. Moving forward, I will work hard to regain your confidence and trust. I look forward to getting back to work for the people of Gainesville."
The Sun tried reaching Lowe on his cellphone, but the call went straight to voice mail, which said Lowe's voice mail box was full.
Braddy, Lowe's rival in the upcoming runoff, offered this reaction: "I join many in Gainesville in hoping he has a healthy recovery," he said. "I'm grateful no one was injured in the incident, and I hope he gets the help he needs … I really encourage people, no matter who they are supporting in the runoff, to give him his space."
During his second term on the City Commission, Braddy was arrested for driving under the influence in January 2006. He took a hiatus from the commission to enter alcohol treatment and pleaded no contest to the DUI charges.
"I used it as a turning point," Braddy said. "I hit rock bottom and had to look at myself and what I was doing and change how I was living. … My thoughts are the test of character is how you respond to something like this. I say that not as his rival in a race but as someone who has been in a similar situation."
City Commissioner Thomas Hawkins said, "We all have difficult times in our lives. This is going to be a hard time for Craig. I support him not just as a politician but as a person. Right now he needs support, not just from political supporters but from friends, and I plan to provide that support."
The city of Gainesville earlier Thursday morning issued this statement: "The city is aware of media reports regarding the Florida Highway Patrol investigation of the single vehicle accident involving Gainesville Mayor Craig Lowe.
"The immediate concern is the mayor's well-being. We are continuing to monitor events and will have no further comment on the circumstances related to the incident or the incident itself until the Florida Highway Patrol completes its investigation and official report."
The next court proceeding for Lowe will be his arraignment, where he will enter his plea to the charges against him. The date for his arraignment had not been set as of late Thursday.
Staff reporter Christopher Curry contributed to this report.

subset: commoncrawl


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The scene at @YSL menswear A/W 2013 http://t.co/5f0Qv9Bx
@YSL http://t.co/dag84Scm
MFW Paris AW13 Saint Laurent "super rock and roll" sam Coleman @esquiresg http://t.co/lUDm6sOr
Red Plaid and leopard at Saint Laurent #pfw
Models entering from behind a carousel at @YSL, bands such as Egyptian Hip Hop and Swim Deep modelling the clothes http://t.co/eTiNMyAI
"@BritishGQ: Intriguing contraption at the end of the runway. Daft Punk's spaceship sound system? #saintlaurent #pfw http://t.co/WT4sSNJA"
Bespoke soundtrack by Ty Segall, with artworks by Brian Roettinger, Jesse Spears, Dylan Riley and Sumi Ink Club @YSL
At Saint Laurent Paris. Anna Wintour is here. Everyone's jazzed in a way I haven't seen at these things yet.
We're at Saint Laurent, sitting behind Mr Alaia! And opposite Monsieur Berge and Betty Catroux @YSL
The show notes @YSL with music by Ty Segall and art by Brian Roettinger, Jesse Spears, Dylan Riley and Sumi Ink Club http://t.co/yCCzaufR
The highly anticipated Saint Laurent men's runway show marking Hedi Slimane's return to the house of YSL. Sh http://t.co/ZEan3w5N


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Welcome .... at home
This site will help you to book your stay in our self catering apartments in Venice. Situated just few minutes from St. Marco Square, you will have all services at a cheap price. We are a typical venetian family and we can suggest you where to do shopping, the highlights of Venice, museums, exhibitions, and concerts that you should see. We know many restaurants where you can taste typical food at a good price. We pay attention to the family, couples and small groups requirements. Your stay in Venice will be unforgettable.
The apartment is located in the district of Castello, close to the famous Biennale, an international art exhibition.
Castello was one of the first areas to be inhabited, and still conserves to this day many characteristic features of the original ways of "living together", less visited by tourists albeit full of restaurants, baccari, cafes, supermarkets and souvenir shops.
The apartment is located at a 2 minute walk from the ferry boat "Giardini",and a few steps from Via Garibaldi and Riva dei Sette Martiri, which offers a particularly impressive view, especially at sunset, of San Marco, San Giorgio Maggiore's Island, Salute Church and the island of Lido.
Depuis plusieurs années nous allons à VENISE et bénéficions de l'hospitalité de « VENICE NICE ».
Les appartements sont très confortables ,belle décoration raffinée .Les propriétaires sont courtois et attentionnés .
Le grand jardin ,un havre de paix. Le quartier est lumineux ,authentique et les commerçants ,sensationnels.
Enfin ,le service vaporetto à 3 minutes des appartements, permet de joindre facilement tous les lieux de la lagune et le centre historique rapidement
Un endroit rare à recommander vivement car le rapport qualité –prix est incomparable.
Merci encore pour votre gentillesse !!!!"
Once you have opened the private door to your apartment, you enter an idyllic peacefull oasis in the middle of bustling Venice; there are four apartments around a wonderful big garden, each of them generously furnished and with a fully equipped big kitchen. San Marco is a 15 minutes' foot walk away, the next vaporetto station only 3 minutes. Giardini and the Arsenale, the exhibition sites of the famous Biennale Art and Architecture exhibitions, are around 300 meters away. If you like privacy and comfort in the middle of Venice, "Venice Nice" is the place to go.
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It was not easy to leave Kirkhill, I was enjoying St. Columba and the Kirkhill United Churches but I had to move on. I went east on Hwy #24 to the Old Military Road and south to Lochiel.
As I came up to Hwy #21 there was no sign of a church spire? So I turned onto the Lochiel Road and went west. If that didn't work I would go the other direction till I found the cemetery and church.
Within a few minutes I came past some trees and there was a beautiful old red house on the left with gables and a round window at the top. On my right was the church. St. Alexander's Catholic Church.
The long walk to the church. This church was different from all the others, it was made of wood not brick.
The cemetery was in the back of the church through a gate, which I almost thought was locked but it wasn't. The church is beautiful from this angle.
An overview photograph of this cemetery. I have more pictures and will post them when I finish this trip.
UPDATE 7/9/2012: Here is a link to more overview photographs of this cemetery with some McD* tombstones and more.
|St. Alexander's RC Church & Cemetery, Lochiel, Ontario
Hwy #21 goes east and west, I headed east and did the job in the road to Glen Sandfield Road which took me into Glen Sandfield. I had to visit if briefly this hamlet because of the name "Sandfield." My grandfather was named Ronald Sandfield McDonald. So far I have not been able to find a connection to the "Sandfields."
Hwy #21 meets Hwy #23 and I paused at the 4 corners of Glen Sandfield then I turned north.
I was soon in Dalkeith.
Over the hill is the Dalkeith Library a branch of the S.D.&G. County Libraries. It was closed opening at 4 pm to 8 pm. To late for me. http://www.sdglibrary.ca/
This library is the home of the Dalkeith Historical Society: http://dalkeithhistory.com/
A beautiful meadow near Dalkeith.
Dalkeith was the end of my Tour of Glengarry. It was time to headed to Ottawa. I only had two days left of my trip and the next day I wanted to visit one more archive in the Ottawa area. The next day I would fly home.


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Bard WilliamsVice President of Education & Development
Dr. Bard Williams is Vice President of Education & Development at Alain Pinel Realtors, where he oversees all technical and sales training throughout the company. Bard is responsible for curriculum, training events, and the strategic vision for APR's technical training and career development programs as a whole.
Bard began his career as a teacher while simultaneously developing sales and communication skills selling residential real estate. After more than 10 years as a professional educator and earning a doctorate from the University of Georgia, Bard was recruited by Apple to manage relationships with leaders in government and education, creating programs to help educators and administrators learn to teach with technology. Bard was later promoted to senior management where he managed marketing and training teams. Bard left Apple to start a successful education and technology marketing company, Techthree, working with companies including Adobe, Palm, and Hewlett-Packard, along with several universities. Just prior to joining APR, Bard spent five years as Director of Marketing at TiVo where he managed marketing relationships with key partners such as Netflix and Comcast, supported retail marketing worldwide, and managed a team of field trainers. Bard has published more than 14 books, mainly on the topic of teaching with technology.


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No. 17 Lightweight Chiseling Blade
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One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.
Monday, December 17, 2012
This fete galante has come to a close. After 39 days, The Philippines has kindly asked us to take our leave and pack up our wares. Gingerly, we tuck our tissue wrapped porcelain into our picnic baskets and prepare to skip into the yon. Over our shoulders, gentle yet insistent waves purr, "get out, get out, get out." Bundle up those notions and trimmings, those cares and dreams. Nestle burrito rolls of sandy panties between the crinoline and farthingale. And when the covered wagons groan weak with the weight of our past, we can look once more at what was, what never will be again. Blow your kisses to the creepy crawlies. Wave goodbye to the frivolity of yesteryear. Exhale one last hot breath over the sweat in the sand. Salt on salt. Life sucked dry. And when you've said your final farewells, trundle onward, gentle readers. Trundle into your futures until you hear the camera's final whir. That last clickety clack of an empty magazine. The flicka flicka flicka of one lonely frame of film ticking down to silence. Fin. Let's recap, shall we?
We begin our final chapter of our torrid Filipino tale with the night chirping all around us. The crickets sing a mournful tune for our lost hot tamale. Looking around, the camp is a little blander, a little *yawn*. Fetid clothes hang limply. An empty pot where abuela's rice and beans once sat proudly now sits empty and alone. Little footprints marking out the Merengue encircle the dying campfire. Yet our four remaining Survivors, giggle and guffaw. Yo, Melty (Michael) and Blair (Lisa), are you still giggling and guffawing this morning? Has the joy of kicking out your one and only chance of winning lingered? I wonder...
Golden Boy (Malcolm) is the only one whose giggles are tinged with worry. That feisty Shakira (Abi-Maria) dropped a compliment bomb and now he's left to sweep up the pink mist and body parts. Not only did she not go gentle into that good night, but she laid a wreath of laurel atop Golden Boy's head. With anger and resentment, Golden Boy rips the wreath off his head and tangles with the leaves caught in his tendrils. Furiously he tries to bury the crown deep in the sand hoping no one remembers ever seeing it. Maybe no one noticed. Maybe they were too busy giggling...
And this brings us to the big Reward Challenge. Come on in guys! For today's challenge, you will race through a series of obstacles collecting bags of puzzle pieces along the way. Once you have all three bags of puzzle pieces, you will then use the pieces to solve a puzzle. But hold onto your nipples, bitches. This isn't just a regular ole Reward Challenge. This is a Reward Challenge that will inexplicably give the winner a huge advantage in the final Immunity Challenge. Como what? Why? Have we ever seen this before? Can't you just toss another enormous meal their way - I think it's been 8 hours since they've last gorged themselves on a buffet - and be done with it? What is this cockamamie advantage you speak of? Come back from Clever Clever Land, producers. Different doesn't always mean "better". Oh well. Survivors ready, go!
The players burst forth and as has been the norm lately, Melty and Golden Boy take an early lead with Dr. Denise somewhere in the middle and Blair way far behind wrestling with the skirts of her burka. If we fast forward to the puzzle portion, we'll find Denise furiously sliding pieces in and out - kind of like she does daily with her penis and vagina displays back in her sex office. "This one goes here and that one goes there." Melty, however, doesn't play with penis parts on a daily basis so he sits in a confused jumble while the puzzle pieces leap out of the puzzle frame - on their own accord - and into this lap.
Without a prayer and a clue, we can count Melty out and focus our attention on the good doctor and the young stud. Sliding a crucial piece into place, Golden Boy makes it over the hump and is able to slide the remaining pieces back into their rightful homes. There is no stopping him now as GOLDEN BOY WINS REWARD!!!
Back at Migrayne (Dangrayne), a woefully exhausted stench lingers in the air. Not only is everyone plum tuckered out, but that pesky Golden Boy has won an advantage in the next Immunity Challenge. Blair, in particular, is miffed and ticked and kerflipped. Ever since her brother Injustice visited the camp and gave her an injection of the naughty stuff, Blair's bloodlust for Golden Boy has been insatiable. At night she howls and claws at the earth while snarling and drooling over his sleeping form fighting the urge to sink her fangs into his tan and inviting throat. The longer he stays in this camp breathing and moving and adjusting his swim trunks just so, the more she craves his scarlet life force dripping down her chin. Plus, he's just so freaking good at everything! This Elizabeth Bathory of the Survivor world can only lay dormant for so long. It was the "Sister! Sister!" that set her off. We all have a trigger word that gets our juices flowing and makes our primal instincts bubble to the surface. "Sister" is Blair's ("Nipple" is mine).
Speaking of Golden Boy, he has long had a final three deal with Melty and Blair - only, I don't think they really know about it. Injustice left 7 weeks ago and Blair has been licking Melty's many bloody wounds to quench her thirst for strapping young buck blood. Ever since the Jeff Kent days, where a rotted parsnip and a carpet fiber equaled a million dollars, Blair has pined for Golden Boy's demise. And even though she turned on him in the past - lied to his front, pinched him in his back - Golden Boy still trusts her. In fact, he trusts her so much that he has now completely turned on his best good friend, Dr. Denise, Medicine Woman.
Dr. Denise and Malcolm have a lengthy history together. They survived the tyranny of Dreads (Russell) , were cruelly ripped apart midseason, and then happily reunited like a Parent Trap movie. This unlikely couple warmed our cockles. Their little hand dances and high fives made us want a wiggedy whack friendship just like theirs. Unfortunately, wiggedy whack has a short shelf life especially with that creepy Blair and Melty buzzing about camp murmuring about apostles and angels and vanilla wafers (surely Jesus tastes like vanilla, right?). With platitudes and beatitudes hanging everywhere you turn, you can't help but doubt your inner goodness. Or the goodness of your best good friend.
So, with Golden Boy and Dr. Denise eying each other up and down suspiciously, all Melty and Blair had to do was kick back, puff on a couple of smokes and wait for the two players who actually deserve to win this game to come a'running begging for safety. And that's exactly what happened. Golden Boy heard the rumors in the wind that Dr. Denise would be hard to beat so he dropped that prune like a hot potato and pledged his allegiance to the Christian Right. Similarly, Denise has been hearing some awfully good things about this Golden Boy lately. A) He's golden and gold is always good, never bad. Charcoal would be bad. Festering pus sores would be bad. But Golden Boy is neither. He's shiny, hard and looks fabulous with a tan. B) People like a Golden Boy. He's good for all occasions. He's fun at holiday parties, devilishly handsome in a lederhosen while scrubbing your kitchen floor, and knows his way around the back of a bar. Clearly, he must be destroyed.
From the looks of things, Blair and Melty are sitting pretty high atop their perch of judgment. No matter how many times I go over the calculations in my head, these two chuckleheads have a majority and will most certainly be going to the final three together. It doesn't even matter who wins Immunity. They'll both go in every scenario. The problem is that they don't very often agree on much. Blair wants to cut her threats loose as soon as possible while Melty wants to suckle them and take them to the end. You see, Melty has heard these rumors about Golden Boy, but he doesn't believe them at all. Somewhere in the fleecy cotton woolly section of his brain is a part that tells him he is the Sole Survivor. When Shakira hit him in the head with that coconut way back when, she must have broken the pulley that carries oxygen to Melty's noggin. You need to understand that Melty's brain doesn't look like yours or mine. His is made of legos and string and looks a lot like a dumb waiter. Only one thing can be delivered at a time - whether it be oxygen, pain, sight, recognition, memory. So when one of those strings breaks, we get a broken record of whatever it is he last heard. Today the record scratches... s-s-s-s-sole survivor, s-s-s-s-sole survivor.
And then everyone died.
And this brings us to the big Immunity Challenge. Come on in guys! For today's challenge you will stand in the scorching sun and balance a ball on some sticks. Every 5 minutes your sticks will get longer while the softcore porn ab-cam zooms in on your tummies (except burka Blair's) and tries to look down your shorts. While your ripply taut muscles glisten in the sun you'll need to keep your balls from dropping. Except for you Golden Boy. If you drop your ball, you get another chance. Survivors ready, go!
The challenge begins and while the first round was simple enough with tiny little pixie sticks, we can see that Golden Boy is going to have a problem. All those bitches telling him he'd win everything has seeped into his brain and now his hands have a touch of the Parkinson's. Hey, I get it. I'm the exact same way. It drives me crazy when people say, "I can't wait for your next blog!" I don't know why, but it's like a festering fart in my face as I try to write. That one tiny comment can wreak havoc on my entire existence. And apparently Golden Boy is the same way. Which is why we should probably get married and have a lot of sex. What do you say Golden Boy? I've got the lederhosen right here.
But I digress! Look, you would too if you had to shuffle through photos like this one. I mean, come on! One inhale and you know what's going to happen. I'm not going to say it. I'm a dignified writer who references Disney movies and obscure historical serial killers. Again, tangent. (My god, this blog sucks today.)
So, Michael J. Golden Boy has a spasm in like round 2 and this happened. Naturally, his "touch" of Parkinson's is now full blown and attacking his entire central nervous system. We all know what's going to happen now. It is written all over Golden Boy's face. While he is a determined young buck, he has a teeny tiny problem of whisking away the bad thoughts and replacing them with happy ones in times of stress. And so, without a breeze, without a jostle, only with the camera strangely caressing his torso, Golden Boy flubs again and is out of the challenge. In anger he chucks his sticks at Dimples' head while fighting back tears of frustration. Come, come, Golden Boy. Rest your head on my bosoms. Shhh, there, there. *handcuffs Golden Boy to nightstand*
Back at the challenge, we are left with who we are left with. It is an unremarkable threesome, really. Whoever wins, it doesn't matter. We know who they'll pick. We know how this will play out. To their credit, they duke it out a little longer with Denise dropping next followed by Blair. So, ugh, MELTY WINS IMMUNITY!!!
Back at camp everyone congratulates Melty. Thin, sheer congratulations. Flimsy, meaningless congratulations. Congratulations' that don't mean anything. Congratulations' that you can easily poke your finger through. So while the monkey cymbals in Melty's brain were clapping with joy, Golden Boy confesses that everyone telling him he'd win really threw him off his game. In fact, it was Dr. Denise who laid it on pretty thick beforehand. Was it a reverse psychology thing? Did she know showering Golden Boy with compliments would completely freak him the fuck out? I wonder... tricky tricky Medicine Woman. It's tricky to rock a rhyme, to rock a rhyme that's right on time. It's tricky.
So with the clang clang clanging in his noodle, Melty is very proud of himself. He hasn't tripped over anything or rammed a crustacean into his cornea yet today. And he has won Immunity. It's a banner day that calls for a smug face and an "I told you Golden Boy wasn't unbeatable." Dude, you held some sticks together. When you have Cocoa Puffs and cotton balls for a brain, it's easy not to let outside thoughts invade your mental clarity. Your thoughts get stuck in your creaky pulleys and just kind of hang out there until someone accidentally bumps into you and sends them to the proper nerve center.
All anyone can do now is make their case to the duo in charge. Again, how the hell did this happen? But, here we are with both Denise and Golden Boy pleading their cases to Melty and Blair. Denise says what Shakira and others have been saying at every Tribal Council - "No one can beat Golden Boy." Blair licks it up and loves it while Melty is offended that no one talks about him that way. He lost an eyeball, a tooth, scraped his knee, jostled his pulleys, broke a toe, survived an ember attack yet no one is singing his praises like they do the Golden Boy. Plus, if everyone thinks Golden Boy is so great then wouldn't it be better to win Survivor going up against the fiercest competition? There's that annoying morality crap turns people into dummies and ends up costing them a million dollars. It's always rearing its ugly head and waving pudding fingers in your face trying to lull you into a sense of uselessness.
And here we are at our first Tribal Council of the night. I'm going to kind of cruise through this because, let's face it, the only semi-interesting part of this finale episode was the jury. I hate to say I told you so (no I don't), but that is what happens when you lose the only player serving up any drama. The last thing I want to see is a bunch of people getting along. No one wants to see that! I want 13 episodes of Shakira spitting Brazil nuts in everyone's eyes and sprinkling the air with putas. Come back Shakira... come baaaack.
So, blah blah blah. In the end, Melty pussies out and we are forced to say goodbye to our man candy as Golden Boy is the 15th person voted out of Survivor Philippines. Golden Boy had a lot of promise for villain status early on, but it never really panned out. He went the way of the nice guy and I think it clouded his judgment a little bit. Had he stayed loyal to Denise, brought Shakira into the fold and just got his ass into that final three, he would be a millionaire today (or standing on the corner of the freeway selling fruit if you're Jeff Kent). Golden Boy played an excellent game up until those last few weeks where he somehow let the power fall into the hands of an indecisive Christian and the camp jester. However! The good news is he'll be getting another chance to redeem himself. That's right, ladies. Golden Boy will be back for Survivor Caramoan. And he goes into it with the biggest advantage you can ever have in Fans v. Favorites - at the time of filming, no one (fan or fave) had any idea who he was. So, good luck Golden Boy. It's been a pleasure embarrassing you these past few months. I look forward to doing it again in February. And, call me! I've got those lederhosen all ready for you.
Back at camp, the final three bemoan how brutal that Tribal Council was. Well, in front of each other they do, but once you get those scamps alone, their real feelings come tumbling out and they're very different from feeling sorry for poor sad sack Golden Boy. Denise, the queen of matter of fact, tells it like it is. She outwitted Golden Boy, plain and simple. Which, if we're being really real, isn't exactly true. The truth is that Blair and Melty were less scared of her than they were of Golden Boy. Speaking of Blair, is that her burka I see strewn on the shore? Yup. Blair is having celebratory naked time in the water while Melty is off pouting because Golden Boy congratulated Denise at Tribal Council for winning a million dollars. That last little remark by our resident stud really chapped Melty's ass which, naturally, makes me giggle. It's always funny to see a grown man act like a 13 year old girl who just got passed over for the winter formal. Maybe he'll ask you out next year Melty. Fingers crossed!
Let's skip forward to the good stuff. And by "good stuff", I mean "mediocre crapola." I don't know. Correct me if you think I'm wrong, but I really hated this finale. There were a few classic Jury moments but nothing like Juries of yesteryear. This Jury was more into hearing themselves speak than they were into hearing answers to questions. And since I was so dissatisfied with the performance of these stoned miscreants, I've heavily edited the nothing material they thrust upon me. Let us begin.
First up is Dr. Denise. With a laser pointer to the Survivor logo, she begins her speech,
"I beat all of you bitches. Wut wut! Here I am and there you are. Peace out."
Blair is up next and unfortunately for us all, she is not quite as succinct as Denise is.
"My strategy wasn't pretty. I fell down, I dusted myself off, and I learned. It took me 86 weeks to figure out that Survivor was a game and had Injustice never told me that teeny tiny fact, I might not even be here today. But thanks to him *swoon* and the deep thrust of ideas he squirted deep inside me, I survived to play my ugly game. It wasn't pretty. But I threw a punch and knocked out the heavyweight Golden Boy. God be with you."
Lastly we have Melty.
"Returning player. Returning. Player. I did things with such FIRE this time. And I didn't even fall in! I love Survivor. I melt it from my innards. Partly, because the pus has to leak out once in a while or I get infected, but partly because I just LOVE this game so much!"
Blackbeard, please ask the finalists any questions you may have.
"Avast! Normally I'd congratulate all you scallywags, but not today. Shiver me timbers, I cannot do that. If you started this game with a holier than thou attitude - *cough Blair cough Melty* - and then played contradictory to that, you reap what you sow. Karma is a bitch! Arrr!"
And here comes Jello-Pop. With a slow long drag on his cigarette and a languid sip of what I can only assume is a Xanax/THC slushee, he begins...
"Hey, 'sup. Good game."
*collapses into a heap of tweed and suede as a lone Sobranie burns a hole through his Saville Row trousers*
Prickly Pete approaches next. With the toe of his shoe, he rolls Jell-O Pop over for a flat surface to stand on.
"Blair, they should call you Judas."
"You hide behind everyone you didn't vote for."
"But I, I, I didn't know Blackbeard was going home!"
"Shut up bitch and go make me a turkey pot pie."
*Blair wonders to herself where production keeps the pie crust*
"Denise, why did you play this game better than everyone else?"
"I looked for the cracks and I penetrated them. I'm a sex therapist you know."
Squirming and giggling her way over to her assigned mark on the floor, RC smooths down the front of her crimson dress before tangling her jittery fingers together into a nervous jumble of skin and bones.
"A huh huh, a huh huh, a huh huh."
*Denise, Blair and Melty quizically look at one another*
"A huh huh, a huh huh..."
*The Jury shifts uncomfortably while Shakira sneaks a hand into her own bra*
"A huh huh, a huh huh, a huh huh..."
*Blair looks at her watch wondering when RC's time is up*
"A huh huh. Blair, you're sneaky and sweet. A huh huh."
"Thank you RC."
"Melty, a huh huh, tell me about day 19."
"I thought Scurvy was going home! I never wanted to get rid of you."
"A huh huh, a huh huh, a huh huh... a huh huh, a huh huh, a huh huh."
All of a sudden, the laughter stops as RC inhales sharply and her body begins to teeter forward. Cupping one hand over the side of his mouth, Prickly Pete leans forward and whispers to no one in particular, "Tim-ber!" When RC's body hits the floor, we see one shiny ninja star plunged into the back of her skull. With a slow smirk creeping up the corner of her mouth, Shakira stares straight ahead and beams.
Clean shaven and, for some reason, wearing another infernal ponytail (Stop it! I'm giving you advice here, girl advice, NO MORE PONYTAILS!!), Golden Boy is up next.
"I didn't have questions until now. Denise, stop appeasing everybody."
*Denise nods*
"Don't nod, don't nod! Cut it out! You're doing it again, making everyone happy."
*Denise stares with wide eyes*
"I want to know why you played better than everyone else."
*Denise begins to nod causing Golden Boy to make a slicing motion across his neck.*
"Don't lie. Don't appease. Don't be everyone's friend."
"Appeasing is who I am and keeping the peace is part of the game. I'm standing here and you're standing over there. Wut wut!"
"You didn't answer my question."
"It was a dumb ass question. I'm better than you. End of story."
A smiling Jeff Kent steps up to the plate and he seems different, almost jovial.
"Melty, there are three types of people in the world. People who make things happen, people who watch things happen and people who wonder what the hell just happened."
*Melty's smile contorts into a hard thin line as the Jury bursts into laughter.*
"Which one are you?"
"I definitely make things happen. When my name was said that one time at camp. That time when someone said, 'Where did Melty put the machete?' I went and i found it. Sure, I sliced off the end of my nose, but I found the machete when people wanted it."
"Blair, tell me how you didn't play the middle."
"I wasn't on The Middle. I was on The Facts... whoopsie. Never mind."
*Jeff Kent scratches his head*
"I can't recall ever playing the middle. I was the first one to make a major move. I knew Golden Boy had an Idol so I tattled to Prickly Pete and then he twisted my plan and turned it into his own so... what was the question again?"
"Plan B! Plan B! I did that. Morning After Pill. That was all me."
And here comes the one and only Shakira. Looking lovely in a cha cha dress.
"Ooh, I miss your Puta Rice & Beans, Shakira!"
"Shut up Melty. My heart is broken. Do you even care if I vote for you?"
"I deserve your vote."
"You deserve my foot in your cabeza, puta."
"Outwit, outplay, outlast."
"Shut up moron. You're such an idiot."
Last but not least we have Scurvy. I'm going to skip the first 20 minutes of his speech because it was basically him talking about heart and soul and congratulations and oh shut up, I don't care.
"Denise, I'm confused by things you've said tonight. No biggie, you've shown the world you're an enormous bitch."
*Denise looks back stunned*
"Melty, you were so worried about your name coming up, but your name was never written down! Mine was written down fifteen times. Fif-teen. You were never the target I was. Never!"
*Melty begins to eat his face*
"Blair, would you like to share your secret or shall I?"
*points to Blair with force* "YOU, madam, were on a television show! From 1833 until 1996 you were on The Facts Of Life."
*turns to the Jury* "She was a TV star! American's Sweetheart! Guilty!!!"
Then, an interesting thing happened. All the God that Blair has ever known left her body, her soul, and her belief system in that moment. Poof! Just like that it was gone. Her eyes grew beady and black and she looked at Scurvy with an evil so pure that even I was impressed. Having said that, it was a great reveal by Scurvy and as much as I dislike him, I'll give him credit for that moment. He held onto that secret even while at Ponderosa waiting, planning, and plotting for this one moment. The pay off was worth it so good on you Scurvy. Now, go away. We're done here. Buh bye.
Bitch or not, the votes went the exact way they should have gone... CONGRATULATIONS DENISE!!! You have just won one million dollars (or a baggie of cigarette ashes if you're Jeff Kent).
Out of the choices we had left, I'm glad Denise won. I feel like she was the most deserving of the three, and hey, she reads this here little bloggy blog! Plus, it is incredibly comforting to know that her winnings will go towards vibrators and cock rings. I absolutely can't hate on that.
Overall, I enjoyed Survivor Philippines. There were a handful of casting missteps and some whackadoo production decisions (remember the ball in the mud forfeit???), but we had some interesting characters and hopefully I managed to entertain you all just a smidge. Super bitchy thanks to Shakira, Golden Boy, Jell-O Pop, Denise, Blair and Pixie for reading my silly drivel and taking the time to comment and/or send me love notes. More importantly, thanks to each and every one of you who come back week after week. Thank you for taking the time to comment whether it is to create insane stories of your own or just to yell at me. You guys rock. *dunk dunk*
So, what did you guys think of this season? Did the right person win? Was that finale as excruciating for you as it was for me? Did the Jury phone it in or were they all wasted? Comment it out bitches and have a great day! I'll see you back here Thursday, February 14th, 2013 for Survivor Caramoan!
And if you've enjoyed what I've done this season, please click on my PayPal Button and show a bitch some love.
Thanks to Rob Beasley for all of my Survivor photos!
41 comments:
Wonderful work. I may have bitched a lot, but I must thank you for convincing me to watch once again. :)ReplyDelete
My highlight for the reunion was that twit RC showing what a bitch she really is. Sorry Goatweed!
Thanks for another great season of blogs Colette!ReplyDeleteReplies
Thanks Cole! I'm so happy you joined the Bitchy Survivor Fantasy Game this year. So close yet so far.Delete
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 12:45 AM
Hey Bitchness,ReplyDelete
Thanks for a job well done. I truly enjoy your blogs and you, my fellow bitch, do a fantastic job at it. Hope Santa brings you a shit ton of Gin and glitter for Christmas. See you in February.
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 12:55 AM
I was happy Denise won. She was my first choice, Malcolm second. I may be biased towards Denise because she is from Iowa also and she is so awesome to her fans on her page. I'm happy with the outcome though. I thought it was hilarious when Melty said nobody was ever gunning for Denise. Oh please, she almost got voted off more than once.ReplyDelete
Empty is delusional and arrogant.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 1:13 AM
This could all have ended so differently. Production foolishly left the eventual winner alone on the island with Shakira, and Shakira had a machete.ReplyDelete
Probst: "We're getting our first look at the new Dangrayne... Denise, missing since the reward challenge."
Shakira: "She died of a spider bite, Puta. The spiders probably buried her in a shallow grave in the jungle."
And a terrified jury goes on to award Shakira the million bucks.
You are an amazing blogger! Lol. I am really heart broken when Golden Boy has been voted off. It sucks. It was like breaking up with someone. I am rooting for him since the very first time that I watched the season 25, honestly, he is the reason why I watched the whole episodes of Season25.Well, I am still happy though that Denise won, she still deserved it. Golden Boy trusted the Skupin and Lisa too much. He forget the word "blindside".Yeah I am bitter because GB didn't win, that's why I will still watch the replay of the Finale here in the Philippines on Thursday,maybe GB will win on replay. lmao*. But all in all, I love this season. Sorry for my grammar, not really good in English. :D :DReplyDelete
Thanks for a great season Lala, you really make each week's episode seem a little longer with this little bloggy that follows.ReplyDelete
I really enjoyed the season, one of the best of all survivor seasons and do look forward to February.
Denise was the perfect winner, still would have been great to see both her and Malcolm in the F3. What's this shit about Blair winning fan favorite.
Once again, good stuff. Thanks so much for using the pics.
I'm glad Denise won. I'm gladder that Blur crashed and burned. It is, of course, a tragedy beyond words that Golden Boy lost his touch in the last couple of episodes. Knifing Denise was a stupid move. He was always going to beat her if they both reached the final and if worst came to worst the prospect of one of GB and Denise versus one of Melty and Blur trying to make fire would have been golden.ReplyDelete
More seriously, they should think about a teensy-weensy little rule change. No final for you unless you've won at least 1 individual challenge.
Blur contributed very little to this season except unfathomable and unplumbable levels of self-deceipt and self-righteousness. She knifed whoever she could whenever she could while vapouring to the audience about how hard it is to knife people.
Her big moves didn't work. Her story went over to the jury like a lead balloon. And she delivered the most tedious confessional material since George Washington talked about cherry trees.
Fortunately we have you, Miss Lala to make all the crooked plays straight and the straight plays crooked. I think. Or something. Magnificent blogging) See you in February.Replies
Thank you, Alan, for the perfect analysis of stupid Blair. Did you see Penner is claiming that Dimples tried to get him to not out her until the reunion?Delete
I don't think Blur is stupid. I think she realised she had very little chance of winning because of her performance at challenges so she devoted her energy to parlaying a confessional sob story into the fan prize.Delete
I can't wait for your next blog.ReplyDelete
I agree that of the final three, Denise deserved to win. Hind sight is 20-20 and looking back now, Golden Boy should have been wary of any alliance he entered into with Blair. She had shown herself to hatch some pretty ridiculous "big moves". But, whaddyagonnado? The final challenge is always some sort of endurance challenge, and I had a feeling that both women would do well in it and that Golden Boy was on thin ice with it. In the end, I don't think Melty or Blair had any chance of winning, and the only thing they could do was pick the person that they thought they had a better shot against. If they had voted out Doc, then Golden Boy would have won. I was pretty amazed though that they thought they had a better shot against Doc, because just like GB said, and was proven in the reunion, even if it was GB against Doc, Doc wins.ReplyDelete
Overall it was a good season. I wish we would have had a little more drama. More stuff like Abi on all the tribes. And I wish JK would have gone farther than he did. But I have to say, it seems like at least he had the right attitude about it all (including the pocket lint he would have won). The more I watched the Ponderosa footage, the more the shine came off of RC, though I still wouldn't mind a roll with her. Maybe I'd just keep her around as a booty call. She did make a good point though that Pete's move was ridiculously stupid, but really RC, let it go already! And what was the deal with Prickly Pete's shirt at the reunion? Did he think he was one of Tony Manero's friends at the disco? All he was missing was the gold chains. What a douche!
I am looking forward to Caramoan, though I am a little miffed at some of the returning players I see(""reportedly"). But, I think at least we will get a lot of the drama we were lacking this season. The big question will be whether Phillip upgrades to a thong, or if he brings back the saggy maroon undies (did he tell you he was a federal agent?). Can't wait for February (assuming the world doesn't end in three days). Great work as always bitch!
*Note to self, no more twitter messages to Lala saying I can't wait for the next blog.Replies
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 2:04 PM
I'm with you on this one. i would totally have RC as a booty call.Delete
- AnonymousDecember 19, 2012 at 10:30 PM
I read an interview w/ GB where he said that Carter, Pete, and Penner would have voted for him if he were up against Denise, but they didn't raise their hands to "mess with" CBS.Delete
I think this season was one of the better ones that we have had for a while and your blogs were great as always. I especially loved all the Shakira Gifs but I did at times stare at them for an uncomfortable amount of time while my co-workers wondered what my hands were doing under my desk.ReplyDelete
I am pretty sure that Jell-O Pop was stoned out of his mind and I still am not sure what he said, ant the rest of the Jury?....Meh, could have been better.
Anyways thanks again for the lovely season and I look forward to perving out over your blogs beginning in February.
P.s. wow this was a lame comment I guess this is why I don't write blogs.
One question, well a couple actually. First, what was Scurvy's (Penner) justification for revealing Blair's (Lisa) "secret". To influence the jury to not vote for her because she used to be on TV? I didn't quite get it and found it to be rather petty.ReplyDelete
Second, we know that Scurvy and Melty (Skupin) recognized Blair. But no one said anything about Jeff Kent except for Dawson. It sounded like Scurvy knew who he was at the reunion.
Finally, has anyone heard what was up with Blackbeard (Artis)? I have read interviews over the course of the season that he HATES Melty. I didn't see anything in the footage of the season that would have given any reason for hatred. And, I read something about Dimples and Blackbeard getting into it during rehearsals for the finale. It sure sounds like the portrayal as the "angry black man" isn't far from the truth.Replies
I did read that Artis really dislikes Skupin.When asked why he would only say "Mike knows'.Watching Ponderosa,and the Reunion he didn't seem angry with either.At Ponderosa he was always smiling,and didn't show any bitterness,compared to JK,JP,and RC.Delete
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 1:03 PM
If Golden Boy had given Denise the idol when she asked for it before the penultimate tribal council, I don't think she would have flipped. So that little souvenir is worth a small fortune. Perhaps GB can sell it to Jeff Kent for some tip money....ReplyDelete
Great blog as always Lala!ReplyDelete
Agreed that Denise was most deserving out of the final 3 we had. I was a bit bummed, the last few eps I was really just rooting for Malcolm. Would've liked to see him and Denise go against each other in the finals. (though surprisingly I think the jury said they still would've voted for Denise)
I was a bit surprised Malcolm didn't get voted the fan favorite of the season over Blair.
Can't wait for February 14th, fans vs favs should be good. I'm not a fan of this format, but it doesn't appear CBS will ever give us an all-new cast again. I'd rather have this than just 2 or 3 returnees.
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 2:14 PM
I for serious died when you mentioned the pelvis shots.ReplyDelete
Glad I wasn't the only one who noticed them!
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 3:34 PM
Glad Denise won, she definitely is the most deserving. I don't know why people believe that Malcolm would have won (had he been in the final three) - after all, the jury members indicated that if it were between him and Denise, Denise would've won just the same.ReplyDelete
P.S. Lisa is fans' favorite?!!! The fans must've been stoned when choosing her as a favorite.
I never got the fascination with GB.If he was that great you would think that he could of helped his tribe win one challenge.Maybe the challenge that sent them to their final TC.I also don't get what's wrong with an easy win,over a I think I can win.Abi was the perfect person to take to FTC.All GB had to do was give Abi the idol,and Denise would have been voted out.Abi was already lying about having an idol,she even asked GB to give her the idol.I guess GB wanted a little peace on the island that cost him the game.Denise said you have to make big moves,which Malcomn wasn't prepared to do.Denise was the only one GB couldn't beat,yet he kept her over Abi.We will see in Feb,if he is as great as he thinks he is.ReplyDelete
agree with Sue 100%. I enjoyed the season as a whole, though, and look forward to the nezxt one. Denise deserved the money compared to the others, and played a game similar to Sophie. Didn't do much, laid low, made no enemies and coasted in. She was great at challenges and my favorite going through, but not a decisive win like Kim or Boston Rob. Those two owned it nearly start to finish. Sick of Abi and Lisa, bye bye and I hope to never hear from you again. Oh, BTW-loved penner at final. I thought he was awesome, frank and honest and attacked them all. fireworks, yay!ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousDecember 18, 2012 at 7:19 PM
Yeah, it seems like Golden Boy missed the big chess move at the end. He should have worked with Abi to dispose of Denise. I am starting to think heat and exhaustion influence players' ability to see and analyze the game in real time no matter how much they try to explain their decisions after the show.Delete
I bet Penner knew Denise was going to win when he said one of you will ride in a champion on a chariot and the other two don't know they are the oxen pulling the chariot (to paraphrase). I don't think it was meant to be an insult, but a poetic observation. Penner should post on this blog. On the other hand, he really does like to show how smart he is and that might be why he was telegraphing Denise's win in prose and also disclosed Blair's former TV celebrity. Mostly the jury was kind of sleepy. Blair and Melty had no constituency and would have never had one unless they too tried to keep Abi.
Lastly, I hope we see RC and Shakira shake it.....I mean compete on a future season called "Survivor: Boobies vs. Booties".
- Presidente of the Lala Fan ClubDecember 19, 2012 at 7:48 AM
Dearest Lala,ReplyDelete
No Shakira or Golden Boy? Is there enough gin ot xanax to get you through such great disappointment? I would send the good Doc over to revive you from the great depth of pain and sorrow of the dismal finale, but alas SHE would only rub salt into your margarita/mojito-less wound.
I know our sweet Shakira tried to gently warn Melty with her kind words of moron and idiot. But sadly Melty still could not understand he had no chance. Pass the tissue.
And Blair, Blair, Blair. She had no chance, especially because Shakira sent her no warning whatsoever. What's a former teen star to do? Except figure out on day 39 that this is a GAME and try to win? Blair, Blair, Blair. Then she actually recites the Facts of Life theme song? Groans rang from living rooms across the nation. We all wish we had those needles the Doc desperately desired that afternoon.
At least we had a little hint of Shades of Golden Boy when he addressed the Doctor. "Answer me, " he said. "You will speak in a way that pleased me. No you may not move your head while speaking. No movements. You will please me. You will do exactly as Golden Boy says."
A collective gasp now from women everywhere at the edge of their seats. Imagine Golden Boy saying, "Dip into the glitter now. NO, not timidly. No, don't move your head. Glitter Bitch-"
Moan...I mean Sigh...Alas dear Lala. This season is at a close. You have brought us on yet another delightful ride. Thanks for the laughs. Wishing you happy holidays filled with dreams of Golden Boy, Gin Pissing Statues and Glitter that stays on your nose and eyelashes...
Wishing you warmth, health (stay true to your smoothie regiment) and wealth-give the Bitch some PayPal love!
As ever,
Your Beloved Fan Club PresidenteReplies
El Presidente (or shall I call you "Jefe" for short?),Delete
I know not who you are, but I thank you for your official letters and notes from my fan club. And look at you, all clever clever with the Shades of Golden Boy. *spank for that because I didn't think of it first*
Gratitude, Jefe. Now tweak my nipples or endure my wrath.
Colette Lala
- Presidente of the Lala Fan ClubDecember 19, 2012 at 10:51 PM
What am I, if not your humble tweaker, dear Lala?Delete
Thanks for a great season of blogging, Lala. At least this season didn't suck as much as the few prior. The jury was very... blah, but I did like Penner and Golden Boy. Denise, as I've said all along, had a leg up on a lot of the others due to being a therapist and having practice in reading people. I was very shocked to see that the jury would have voted for Denise over Golden Boy, to be honest. Golden Boy is just very... Ozzy-esque to me; I agree with whoever said that he was in the best position as a returnee because no one had seen him play or knows who he is.ReplyDelete
At least Blair/Melty didn't win; I would have been pissed. I wanted to gouge my eyes out with my own fingers every time she gave a confessional. I have had enough of the self-righteous, religious bullshit and I am NOT looking forward to Brandon Hantz coming back next season.
- meggheggDecember 19, 2012 at 9:22 PM
Another great recap from the best in the world. We've been a stranger to posting comments this season, but there are a few things left to be said. One of them is the word, "Crass." Yes, "Crass." Thanks to one of the contestants, I'm getting to use a new word that I've never ever had an opportunity to use in my life. It's actually not a 'new' word - I learned it in grade school, the same place you learn everything else that you never used your entire life. Yet, I'm glad I learned it, even if I did have to wait decades to witness an example. Truthfully, I'm not sure if it's really even a word because I've honestly never even heard anyone else use it, much less had a chance to say or write it myself. I'll say it again. Crass. Shakira was crass. Shakira was crass, crass crass. Done, and I'll probably never get another chance to use it, again. I waited 40 something years to say that. In the end, my teachers were not as dumb as I thought.ReplyDelete
Now midway through the season was one of the best events of all Survivor history. Sarah Dawson kissing Jeff Probst on national television. It wasn't just a peck kiss, or smack kiss, but a tender jaw-dropping kiss, one probably full of delicious female saliva and germs that must have caused male hearts and legs to go thumping across America. You know... like when you rub a dogs belly, and his leg starts quivering real fast? That woman is a walking fibrillator. Wow!
Then, the producers wait till the end of the season to show us that Jeff outstretched his arms, like... "Anybody want seconds?" Wow! Wow! Wow!!! (Be a good sport, Jeff)
Finally, the funniest thing - when the jury questioned the final three, and Johnny Scurvy insisted that Dr. Denise stop nodding her head, Dr. just couldn't stop her head from nodding in agreement - looked just like a Jack-n-the-Box. I don't know if it was because she couldn't recover from the shock of what he said, because I don't remember which came first. But it was funny.
This season was tough to watch, but it had it's moments. Thanks, Lala, for all the blog photos, for a mountain of extraordinarily and cunningly devised descriptions and all your hard work, and along with the Survivors crew making this another season that we'll remember.
Just watched the Survivor Reunion Show - Kudos and thanks to EVERY single person in the cast of Survivor Philippines, and to everyone for a very nice epilogue to the season!ReplyDelete
Kinda did this on the last blog, but once again, great blog, really enjoyed it, lala, thank you. see everyone again in a couple months! Merry Xmas!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousDecember 20, 2012 at 6:32 PM
Boring season, boring commenters.. Good writing on the blog. I only wish that Redneck Island would get the respect it so richly deserves.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousDecember 20, 2012 at 8:51 PM
"Correct me if you think I'm wrong, but I really hated this finale. There were a few classic Jury moments but nothing like Juries of yesteryear. This Jury was more into hearing themselves speak than they were into hearing answers to questions."ReplyDelete
I completely agree. This jury was probably so tame and boring just because the final decision was so easy--no one really had a reason to dislike the good doctor or to not give her the million over Blair and Melty.
As I suspected would happen, Golden Boy and Denise both went far after Matsing was dissolved. Denise suriving EVERY SINGLE TRIBAL COUNCIL may be the most memorable aspect of this season.
Yet again, great work Lala! I love Survivor no matter what, but your blogs really seem to complete it all. Congratulations on another great season!
P.S. Sorry that there will be more returning players next season. But hey, at least your Golden Boy will be one of them!
Finally got a chance to see the finale and read your blog. Denise? Meh. I picked her to win from the second ep. Great season, boring finale. Shite final tribal. Glad Malcolm's coming back. Abi has a killer quote in the last Ponderosa video.ReplyDelete
Thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable season of Survivor blogging. Thank you for a thoroughly enjoyable season of Survivor blogging. Whoops, I already said that, didn't I? Forgive me for repeating myself. My only excuse is that I'm drunk. Again. Tangent?
I vaguely recall saying at the beginning of the season that I would "show a girl some love" if you gave me one laugh per blog. That was stupid of me. I should have said one laugh per week - that way I'd be off the hook, because you were too lazy to write a blog after Carter's boot, and too selfish to write a blog during your precious Thanksgiving. I won't make that mistake again, bitch. Still, as a man of my word, I must admit that you did indeed give me at least one laugh for every blog you bothered to write, so I suppose I owe you some money. I'm not gonna pay as much as last season though, because apparently it only takes you a measly 4-5 hours to write your blogs - last season I was under the impression that writing them must have a more substantial impact on your time. Silly me, eh?
Wait. Perhaps I'm being hasty. Is that a Run DMC lyric I spy with my drunken eye? "It's tricky..." Ooh, that brings back a memory or two. Suddenly, I'm overwhelmed by a wave of Proustian nostalgia. *sigh*
Should I increase your payment for engendering this feeling in me, or decrease it? My God, you're a crafty bitch aren't you? Crafty like ice is cold.
Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year, Lala. Barring calamity to either you or I, or the internet (quelle horreur!) I'll be reading on the 14th. Fans vs Favourites? Can't wait love!
Before I go, there's one last thing from this season that's bothering me; whatever became of Carter Cartèr, that schizo poet dude you begat?
You don't know? Oh. That's too bad. Well, my guess is he probably committed suicide - his feuding personalities eventually driving him insane. But I guess we'll never really know for sure...Replies
Australian dollars to US dollars are like the most precious thing ever.Delete
- Carter CartèrDecember 21, 2012 at 7:45 PM
The play has ended!ReplyDelete
My torch snuffed
Curtain descended
My lines, fluffed
The audience apoplex'd!
My soliloquy hushed
< Exit stage left
My dreams, crushed
Au revoir Lala!
Merci for creating me
My destiny, like young Werther
Lies under linden tree.
Dude! Sweet final poem.
Merci Carter. *sniff*
Cheer up bro! No need to shoot yourself in the head.
Carter! You recognised the allusion to suicide?
Yeah. *kicks ground sheepishly* I've been, like, secretly reading your journals while you've been brooding on the moors. When you're not being pretentious, your poetry's quite infectious!
Infectious? What a rhyme exceptionnel! You're full of surprises today, Carter!
Thanks Cartèr. I've always liked poetry, actually.
And I've always liked surfing, Carter!
Dude, screw poetic destiny! I've got a radical idea; we should, like, TOTALLY star in our own sit-com! Y'know, like that one from the 80's!
Oui! An idea magnifique! I'm so tired of being forlorn, always forlorn...
We'll be famous bro!
Famous? Oh, how I've LONGED to be famous. Carter, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship!
- AnonymousDecember 21, 2012 at 9:02 PM
We were all riding the wave...riding it so dang hard. For all to see. Blood stained and tired I started to ask...."whose using who?".ReplyDelete
Loved your blog.
-jello pop.
Ps. Hope you kept that picture ;)
- kandeekaneDecember 22, 2012 at 12:02 PM
Did anyone know that Penner is also an actor? I kept hearing things about it so I googled him and he has an IMDb website thingy which tells all his credits for his acting. He is an actor, writer and producer. His credits say that he has been in episodes of CSI, Arressted Development, Seinfeld, The Nanny, Melrose Place and he was one of the 5 main characters in a movie called The Last Supper (1995). I watched the trailer from this movie and could barely recognize him cuz he is so young and thin looking.ReplyDelete
He made such a big deal about Blair being a former child actor but yet never shared with his fellow survivors (to my knowledge) that he also was an actor as recently as 2008. Maybe he did and I just never saw or heard it but I did not hear him drone on and on about all his acting gigs the way he thought Blair should have.
To me I understand why she didn't. It would have just seemed braggy. Most of them kids were not even born when she was on that show. Would anyone have given a shit except for the fact that they would have thought she did not need the money or deserve it cuz she was already rich at one point.
I remember when that football coach was on a couple seasons ago and everyone knew who he was and they immediately wanted him gone cuz of who he was so I get why Blair just wanted to be Lisa.
I knew as soon as they said the new season was fans versus favorites that Golden Boy was going to be on it. How does everyone know that Philip Shepherd and Brandon Hantz are going to be on it? And who the hell said that either one of them was a favorite? It should be called fans versus controversial players. I'm not saying it won't be good cuz both of them sure do bring a lot of shit. They should also give Miss Lala a lot to blog about.
Can't wait. Everyone have Happy Holidays for whatever holiday you celebrate. See ya'll next year, 2013 BITCHES!


text:
Kylie Minogue, Nick Rhodes, Bobby Gillespie and Julie Verhoeven were just some of the leading fashion, music and art creatives who came together for the 2004 film project 'Lyric'. Each contributor recorded a series of short films that visually interpret the song lyrics of their choice - one clip for each lyric line, recorded via a Motorola phone in a pioneering use of mobile technology.
Félix Larher
Artist Félix Larher chose to create a panopoly of visuals across twenty-nine films to accompany Bob Marley's 'Survival' lyrics