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The Internet of Things (IoT) has a potential transformational effect on the data center market, its customers, technology providers, technologies, and sales and marketing models, according to Gartner, Inc. Gartner estimates that the IoT will include 26 billion units installed by 2020, and by that time, IoT product and service suppliers will generate incremental revenue exceeding $300 billion, mostly in services.
"IoT deployments will generate large quantities of data that need to be processed and analyzed in real time," said Fabrizio Biscotti, research director at Gartner. "Processing large quantities of IoT data in real time will increase as a proportion of workloads of data centers, leaving providers facing new security, capacity and analytics challenges.
The IoT connects remote assets and provides a data stream between the asset and centralized management systems. Those assets can then be integrated into new and existing organizational processes to provide information on status, location, functionality, and so on. Real-time information enables more accurate understanding of status, and it enhances utilization and productivity through optimized usage and more accurate decision support. Business and data analytics give insights into the business requirements data feed from the IoT environment and will help predict the fluctuations of IoT-enriched data and information.
"The enormous number of devices, coupled with the sheer volume, velocity and structure of IoT data, creates challenges, particularly in the areas of security, data, storage management, servers and the data center network, as real-time business processes are at stake," said Joe Skorupa, vice president and distinguished analyst at Gartner. "Data center managers will need to deploy more forward-looking capacity management in these areas to be able to proactively meet the business priorities associated with IoT."
The magnitude of network connections and data associated with the IoT will accelerate a distributed data center management approach that calls for providers to offer efficient system management platforms.
"IoT threatens to generate massive amounts of input data from sources that are globally distributed. Transferring the entirety of that data to a single location for processing will not be technically and economically viable," said Mr. Skorupa. "The recent trend to centralize applications to reduce costs and increase security is incompatible with the IoT. Organizations will be forced to aggregate data in multiple distributed mini data centers where initial processing can occur. Relevant data will then be forwarded to a central site for additional processing."
This new architecture will present operations staffs with significant challenges, as they will need to manage the entire environment as a homogeneous entity while being able to monitor and control individual locations. Furthermore, backing up this volume of data will present potentially insoluble governance issues, such as network bandwidth and remote storage bandwidth, and capacity to back up all raw data is likely to be unaffordable. Consequently, organizations will have to automate selective backup of the data that they believe will be valuable/required. This sifting and sorting will generate additional Big Data processing loads that will consume additional processing, storage and network resources that will have to be managed.
"Data center operations and providers will need to deploy more forward-looking capacity management platforms that can include a data center infrastructure management (DCIM) system approach of aligning IT and operational technology (OT) standards and communications protocols to be able to proactively provide the production facility to process the IoT data points based on the priorities and the business needs. Already in the data center planning phase, throughput models derived from statistical capacity management platforms or infrastructure capacity toolkits will include business applications and associated data streams," said Mr. Biscotti. "Those comprehensive scenarios will impact design and architecture changes by moving toward virtualization, as well as cloud services. This will reduce the complexity and boost on-demand capacity to deliver reliability and business continuity."
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While most online game sites are there for fun, gwap.com, launched by Luis von Ahn (an assistant professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon University), is designed for "games with a purpose" (GWAPs). Each game on the site is a multi-player online game designed to be fun and also accomplish tasks that are easy for humans but beyond the capability of today's computers.
"We have games that can help improve Internet image and audio searches, enhance artificial intelligence and teach computers to see," says von Ahn. "But that shouldn't matter to the players because it turns out these games are super fun."
The site initially will feature four new games and a classic called the ESP Game. The first GWAP developed by von Ahn, the ESP Game displays images to two players who each try to guess words that the other player would use to describe the image. The game improves Web image searches by generating descriptions of uncaptioned images. Google has licensed the game, which the company calls Google Image Labeler. The new games are:
- Matchin, a game in which players judge which of two images is more appealing, is designed to eventually enable image searches to rank images based on which ones look the best.
- Tag a Tune, in which players describe songs so that computers can search for music other than by title -- such as happy songs or love songs.
- Verbosity, a test of common sense knowledge that will amass facts for use by artificial intelligence programs.
- Squigl, a game in which players trace the outlines of objects in photographs to help teach computers to more readily recognize objects.
In addition to von Ahn, gwap.com and the games have been developed by software engineers Mike Crawford and Edison Tan and graduate students Severin Hacker, Edith Law and Bryant Lee.
Winner of a 2006 MacArthur Foundation "genius grant," von Ahn is a pioneer in the field of human computation, which uses the Internet to tap human minds to accomplish feats that still befuddle computers. As a graduate student at Carnegie Mellon, he helped develop CAPTCHAs (Completely Automated Public Turing Test to Tell Computers and Humans Apart), the distorted letter puzzles used millions of times each day worldwide to protect Web sites from computerized impostors. Last year, he introduced a new version called reCAPTCHAs, in which people solve these puzzles to gain access to a site and simultaneously help digitize old books by converting printed text into computer-readable letters.

subset: commoncrawl


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Best Of :: Food & Drink
The sushi burrito is undoubtedly one of the better food-truck creations dreamed up in the past couple of years. It's an exercise in practicality, really, the best of both worlds — a burrito bound in delicate soy paper, stuffed with all the flavors of a lowbrow sushi roll, and blessed with the one-handed portability of a wrap. The samurai-sombrero'd Jogasaki Sushi Burrito truck, at the forefront of the sushi burrito movement, has been the tastiest mega-roll around since it debuted in 2010. The Special #1, which includes mayo-blended fake crab, a scoop of minced spicy tuna, slices of avocado, cucumber wedges, a sweet, thickened soy sauce and some crunchy shrimp tempura, is sizable enough to put most regular burritos to shame. If you ask us, that makes it a truck worth tracking down. jogasakiburrito.com.
—Garrett Snyder
In this era of gastropubs and fusion bistros, it comes as a welcome relief to enter a place that still calls itself a "chophouse," as does Suzanne Tracht's 11-year-old West Hollywood restaurant, Jar. The moniker is a signal to other beautifully atavistic traits: a maitre d' in a suit and tie, white tablecloths, an iceberg wedge on the menu, a playlist of Sinatra and Armstrong and Nina Simone — and some of the best steaks in Los Angeles. Not only will your dry-aged Kansas City steak or your filet of beef or your prime rib-eye arrive perfectly cooked and presented, it will be served with a little white ceramic boat of sauce like the perfect accessory (a cufflink, a pocket square). The beef is so tender that it hardly needs the lobster béarnaise in the first place, but you are not here for restraint. (Think to yourself: What would Frank do?) Order a martini or two, then the stellar chocolate pudding for dessert. 8225 Beverly Blvd. (323) 655-6566, thejar.com.
—Amy Scattergood
Michael Cimarusti's seafood palace on Melrose Avenue in Hollywood earlier this summer celebrated its seventh birthday, a suitably biblical number for a fish restaurant with an excellent pastry kitchen. In those seven years, Providence has neither plateaued nor reversed direction: It has gotten better, kind of a stunning achievement for a restaurant that was worth 2 Michelin stars back when they gave them out in this town. Cimarusti and his crew manage something rare: a combination of technical mastery and playfulness, and a willingness to change things up instead of resting on their considerable laurels. The menu transforms as frequently as the fish swim in and out of their seasonal waters, the staff forages for local greenery, and the plates emerge from the kitchen like small epiphanies. Maybe you can credit it all to the fact that the chef and the general manager like to go fishing out of San Pedro on their few days off. 5955 Melrose Ave., Hlywd. (323) 460-4170, providencela.com.
—Amy Scattergood
Back in 2007, when Judy Ornstein first opened her neighborhood café FOOD, she had a recycling brainstorm: Why not install a plastic, serve-yourself, all-you-can-drink dispenser and fill it with filtered H20, ice cubes and whatever fruity odds and ends she found in the kitchen? Sometimes there are hunks of pineapple sweetly infusing the cold water; other times it's a mind-bendingly thirst-quenching day spa mainstay of cucumber slices and handfuls of fresh mint. Often they go refreshingly tropical with floating orange, lime and lemon slices. Ornstein's light, rejuvenating, bright idea also doubles as an art installation that changes daily: Some have compared the dispenser, sitting in a far corner next to a stack of glasses, to wallpaper in a ladies' restroom circa 1968 or a freeze-frame from a Trix cereal commercial. But we think it recalls a dreamy, zero-gravity fruit salad experiment at NASA — and what's not to like about that? 10571 W. Pico Blvd., W.L.A. (310) 441-7770, food-la.com.
—Margy Rochlin
Four dollars for a cup of coffee? Before you spit out your Starbucks, hear us out: There's a revolution going on in the java world that has little to do with the over-barbecued cafe loco you're used to and everything to do with small organic farms in South America that are churning out product with the kind of terroir previously associated only with wine. Now, we're not so sure about hints of chocolate and pomegranate in our perfect, 195-degree cup of Commissary joe, but it is super smooth and low on acid. Props to Intelligentsia Coffee for kickstarting this thing in L.A. But what we like about the 2-year-old Coffee Commissary in West Hollywood is that it's simple, casual and gimmick-free. Nobody's slurping and "cupping" this stuff, and you won't be huffed on if you don't know your Coava from your Victrola. Hot water is swirled over a cone of precious grinds, with the resulting brew transferred to a thick mug. That's it. 801 N. Fairfax Ave., #106, W. Hlywd. (323) 782- 1465, coffeecommissary.com.
—Dennis Romero
On a chic strip of shops near a leafy Sherman Oaks neighborhood filled with film-industry types, Sweet Butter is designed to feel as if you've stumbled into a sidewalk pastry shop in Paris. Fleur de sel caramel brownies, butter-rich croissants, bread pudding with brioche (in coconut-lemon and chocolate versions), cinnamon muffins filled with homemade peach or strawberry jam, plum-lemon bars and savory bacon-cheddar scones are churned out by three in-house pastry chefs. Founder Leslie Danelian, a former food stylist and longtime caterer, keeps the charm factor high but the prices low: Mouth-watering chocolate chip cookies are $2, muffins and scones $2.75. The pastry items rotate, so each day Sweet Butter's glass case is filled with surprises. The French county–style restaurant offers full breakfast and lunch menus, with items such as grilled turkey, fig jam and bleu cheese sandwiches. 13824 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks. (818) 788-2832, sweetbutterkitchen.com.
—Jill Stewart
Opened in 1941, the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel continues to be the most glamorous restaurant in the Los Angeles area. Bar none. (Heck, we saw Warren Beatty there just a few months ago.) Of course, glamour is always difficult to define. For us, it has to do with an elegant, understated style and a kind of worldly sophistication. The Polo Lounge has all these things, plus an extremely attentive waitstaff. L.A.'s true heavy hitters with class — like Beatty — go to the Polo Lounge, and we have a special fondness for the gardenlike outdoor patio, especially at night, with its candlelit ambience. The spice-crusted wild salmon isn't cheap, but you're buying an experience — and one worth having whenever possible. People often go in search of glamour in this town and have a hard time finding it. Look no further. 9641 Sunset Blvd., Beverly Hills. (310) 276-2251, beverlyhillshotel.com/the-polo-lounge.
—Patrick Range McDonald
If you're from Taiwan, stepping into a Four Sea Restaurant will make you feel right at home. They have two locations — one in Hacienda Heights and another in San Gabriel. Rumor has it that they're opening another branch in Irvine. Their success isn't unwarranted. They have one of the largest selections of Taiwanese breakfast items in Los Angeles, and the staff is uniformed and polite. Maybe the English-speaking abilities of some of the servers are lacking, but the efficient ordering process at the counter more than makes up for it. Go for the salty soy milk and sticky rice roll. They produce some of the best variations of the rice rolls, or fan tuan, outside of Taiwan. For those unfamiliar with the dish, it's chewy grains of rice wrapped around pieces of twisted cruller and a perfect balance of shredded dried pork and assorted vegetables. 2020 S. Hacienda Blvd., Hacienda Heights. (626) 330-3088; 708 E. Las Tunas Drive, Ste. A, San Gabriel. (626) 285-8369.
—Clarissa Wei
Few doughnuts are worth driving some 30-odd miles to taste (if you're coming from central L.A.) but in the case of the Donut Man, gas up. And not just for the doughnuts' undeniable deliciousness but also their sheer girth. If you've heard of the place, likely you've seen photos of the strawberry doughnut, which oozes a filling of whole, ripe strawberries from a sweet, biscuitlike shell. That's a good one to try, as is the apple, which, unlike most apple fritters, has filling that runneth over much like its strawberry cousin. Best of all, though, is the Tiger Tail, a glazed chocolate and vanilla braid that looks as if they put devil's food and regular batter in a soft-serve ice cream machine and hit "twist." Like many of the other varieties, it's semiridiculously oversized, making the whole doughnut experience at the Donut Man feel like a culinary funhouse. 915 E. Route 66, Glendora. (626) 335-9111, thedonutmanca.com. —Ali Trachta
It's hard to pinpoint what makes pies from Cake Monkey so singularly special, but allow us to ruminate. For one thing, no matter what the spectacular filling is, it's encased in a shatteringly crisp butter crust. It's burnished and bronzed and topped with sanding sugar, which during the course of sampling pies around town we've determined is pretty much the key to nirvana. The fillings are seasonal, ranging from blueberry frangipane in the late summer to cider roasted apple pie in a double cheddar crust in the fall and honey-braised pumpkin tart with homemade toasted marshmallow topping around the holidays. No matter what's in it, this is pie in all its glory. Ask for it with ice cream if you must, but believe us when we say it stands on its own. Available at Umami Burger or by special order from Cake Monkey (cakemonkey.com). 850 S. La Brea Ave., Hlywd. (and other Umami locations). (323) 931-3000, umami.com/umami-burger. —Rachael Narins
The star of Pho Filet, as you may guess, is its filet mignon, which comes as standard in most of the restaurant's bowls of pho. The filet mignon's immensely popular co-star is the pho bac; it's a distinctly gingered affair, with pronounced hits of cloves in each slurp. It is absolutely delicious, although because it is rather strong, a purist may prefer the lighter version over at Pho Huynh's. Good thing, then, that Pho Filet's Southern-style pho is equally superb. Try the pho tai (pho with thin slices of filet mignon) and ask for the meat on the side so you can leisurely add it into your scalding hot, slightly sweet, deeply flavorful broth to cook as you please. It will be a soul-satisfying meal. 9463 E. Garvey Ave., Ste. A, South El Monte. (626) 453-8911 (no website). —Tien Nguyen
At Rivera, you can dial a phone number listed on the menu to hear chef John Sedlar describe some of the dishes. "Most people think of tamales as the embodiment of Mexican cuisine's earthiness," he says in the recording, before launching into an explanation of "Clams Tamalli." The dish is supposed to "join together earth and sea" with its corn masa and chopped clam meat. The tamale is steamed in large clam shells, then served with a French-style butter sauce flavored with green chiles. The other Rivera tamale — a thin rectangle of masa with braised pork short rib inside and mushrooms on top, served on a banana leaf — also could challenge the notion of earthy Mexican food. The masa is fluffy, moist and buttery, almost like a pancake. Rivera serves three different menus, one for each room. If you don't see the tamales on your menu, and you've become a tamale fan by now, do not panic! You can, and should, order them anyway. Visit Sedlar's other restaurant, Playa, for the tamale with filet mignon, wild mushrooms and chipotle béarnaise, or a Thai-inspired version with shrimp, lemongrass and chiles. These are not your abuela's tamales. 1050 S. Flower St., #102, dwntwn. (213) 749-1460, riverarestaurant.com. —Daina Beth Solomon


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1307.6 - Tasmanian State and Regional Indicators, Mar 2010
Previous ISSUE Released at 11:30 AM (CANBERRA TIME) 29/04/2010
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The following information relates to defendants who were adjudicated, that is finalised via a plea of guilty, or a decision by a judge as to their guilt or innocence of the final charges.
In 2007-08 in Tasmania, there were 428 defendants adjudicated by higher courts, a decrease of 4.0% on the 446 defendants in 2006-07.
The most common case characteristic was 'acts intended to cause injury' which represented 22.9% of total cases. The next most common case characteristics were 'illicit drug offences' (16.8%), 'robbery, extortion and related offences' (13.1%), and 'sexual assault and related offences' (12.9%).
The following information is about victims of all the crime incidents recorded by Tasmania Police. Note that in this context, a victim can be a person, a premise, an organisation or a motor vehicle.
In 2008 in Tasmania, there was a decline in all categories of recorded crime except for motor vehicle theft. More specifically, the changes were: robbery down by 35.0%, sexual assaults down by 23.0%, 'unlawful entry with intent' down by 12.6%, assaults down by 7.6%, and motor vehicle thefts up by 9.8% from 2007. There were no homicides and related offences in 2008 compared to 13 cases in 2007.
The following information is about the alleged offenders of crime incidents recorded by Tasmania Police.
In 2007-08, Tasmania Police proceeded against 13,255 alleged offenders.
Over three quarters of these offenders were male (77.5%).
Young people aged 10-19 years accounted for 31.3% of all offenders proceeded against, with a further 49.2% aged 20-39 years. The median age for male offenders was 25 years, while for female offenders the median age was 23 years.
The most common principal offences included: public order offences (25.0%), acts intended to cause injury (18.1%), illicit drug offences (14.2%), and theft and related offences (9.7%).
During 2007-08, the majority (66.7%) of all offenders were proceeded against by Tasmania Police on a single occasion, with a further 15.6% proceeded against on two separate occasions.
In 2008 in Tasmania, there were a total of 408 prison sentences issued, an increase of 1.5% on the 402 issued sentences in 2007.
Of the total sentenced, 40.4% were sentenced to one to under five years detention, 27.5% to under one year and 13.0% to ten years and over.
The median period of detention was 2.0 years compared to 2.5 years in 2007.
As at 30 June 2008 in Tasmania, the number of prisoners was 515, a decrease of 2.5% from the 528 on 30 June
Of all prisoners in 2008, females represented 8.5%, and Indigenous persons 12.6%.
In 2008, 66.4% of all prisoners had a prior imprisonment record, while 20.8% of all prisoners were remandees.
The Legal Aid Commission provides legal services to the Tasmanian community through grants of legal aid, free legal advice and minor assistance, duty solicitor services, and community education and information.
In 2008, there were 8,701 applications for legal assistance in Tasmania, an increase of 10.9% on the 7,848 requests in 2007. The majority of the applications in 2008 were for criminal matters (63.7%).
In 2008, the Legal Aid Commission approved 7,845 applications, an increase of 16.1% on the number of cases approved in 2007. At the same time, 860 cases were refused, a decrease of 14.1% from 2007.
The Ombudsman's role is to investigate and help to resolve complaints about the administrative actions of government departments, councils and public authorities.
In 2007-08, the Tasmanian Ombudsman received 75 complaints against local governments, a decrease of 19% on the 63 complaints in 2006-07.
Most of the complaints were against local governments in the Greater Hobart-Southern region (39), followed by Northern (19) and Mersey-Lyell (17). There were 273 complaints against the Tasmanian State Government in 2007-08, a 20% increase on the 227 in 2006-07.
In 2007-08, of all the cases closed by the Tasmanian Ombudsman, 44% were included in the category of 'no defective administration' (cases resolved at either the preliminary inquiry stage or which proceeded through to an investigation). A further 26% of cases were 'declined' (complaints that did not meet the threshold required for acceptance by the Ombudsman). Another 17% of cases were 'discontinued' (cases that did not progress because the complainant did not provide additional information to identify the issue or complaint adequately), while a further 10% of cases were 'partly/fully substantiated' (complaints where the Ombudsman considered that the administrative action of the public authority was not appropriate or reasonable).
Australian Standard Geographical Classification (ASGC) (ABS cat. no. 1216.0)
Australian Standard Offence Classification (ASOC) (ABS cat. no. 1234.0)
Corrective Services, Australia (ABS cat. no. 4512.0)
Criminal Courts, Australia (ABS cat. no. 4513.0)
Legal Aid Commission of Tasmania Annual Reports 2004 to 2008
Ombudsman Tasmania Ombudsman Annual Report 2007-08
Prisoners in Australia (ABS cat. no. 4517.0)
Recorded Crime - Offenders, Selected states and territories (ABS cat. no. 4519.0)
Recorded Crime - Victims, Australia (ABS cat. no. 4510.0)
Further information can also be found on the Crime and Justice Statistics Theme Page of the ABS website.
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Ever have your house crash-landed on by time-travelling aliens? Ever been put on trial by interdimensional magical princesses? Then you and Li have a lot in common! Pull up a seat and check out RuneSpark, an adventure spanning three worlds. Currently updated Monday-Friday.
Ch. 3-49
August 28th, 2014, 10:00 am
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There are few things as boring as a dinner party where the dominant subject of discussion is what movies we've all seen. We're all just casual moviegoers offering up pablum about how great Meryl Streep is and wasn't the scenery pretty.
But a dinner gathering where the discussion turns to books? That's my kind of party.
A conversation like that forces us to actually use our brains. To offer an informed view of why the novel we just finished was so remarkable, or what was lacking in the memoir that preceded it.


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In the meantime, $90K fund transfer OK'ed to get by until $200K in payments come in.
Realizing that they have no choice but to replenish Crookston Sports Center's budget, the city council's Ways & Means Committee Monday approved a $90,000 influx of cash that Finance Director Angel Hoeffner said will be sufficient until around $200,000 in lease payments from the school district, UMC and Blue Line Club come in this summer and fall.
The committee endorsed a plan put together by Hoeffner and City Administrator Tony Chladek that has $65,000 of the $90,000 coming from the city's Municipal Land and Buildings Fund, and $25,000 coming from money left over after a phone systems upgrade.
But, wanting to do more than approve a stop-gap measure to ease CSC budget issues over the short term, the committee, acting on an idea pitched by Mayor Dave Genereux, approved the formation of a CSC budget "task group" that will go through the sports center's budget in detail, find any red flags, and make recommendations to save money. Council members Dale Stainbrook, Tom Vedbraaten and Bob Quanrud will serve on the task group, along with Park Board members Larry Brekken and Mike Tiedemann. A third Park Board member will be tapped to serve on the group as well.
Not deceived, but uninformed
The $90,000 shortfall came to light last week, when Hoeffner said the payment of an electricity bill that coincided with a quarterly interest payment of $40,000 tied to the New Market Tax Credits that helped build the CSC required her to dip into a required $60,000 reserve fund, also tied to the tax credits. At that meeting, high electricity bills were pointed to as the main culprit behind the budget strain, but Hoeffner clarified that a bit Monday, saying that overall utility bills aren't dramatically out of line with where they've been previously, since the facility opened in January of 2010. Some expenses are up, she said, adding that CSC revenue in 2012 was down around $70,000 compared to 2011.
Although the immediate budget concerns only came to the council and park board's attention in recent days, apparently some fund transfers have been made over the past couple years as part of the annual CSC budgeting process. Monday, council members said that needs to stop. Ward 3 Council Member Keith Mykleseth said he wants to see a detailed, line by line expense and revenue budget, so he can see specifically what's coming in, what's going out and what it actually costs to operate the facility. Hoeffner said she'd get that information to council members today.
"I don't think I want to say I feel deceived, because that's too strong of a word," Mykleseth said. "I don't know what word I'm looking for. I feel..."
"Uninformed," Genereux interjected.
The old Sports Arena and Crookston Civic Arena always ran an annual operating deficit that approached $300,000 before the city held back on various investments because it was widely assumed the facilities would have to be demolished to make way for a new levee. The CSC has actually been running deficits that were less than the highest ones carried by the former hockey and skating facilities – and less than originally projected, too – but the old facilities never had a shortage of cash that needed to be immediately filled.
Raising the fee paid by outside entities like the Blue Line Club for off-season ice, outside of the city-funded hockey and skating season from Oct. 1 to March 31, is always an option, but many around the table realized Monday that continually raising fees can't be the first option all the time.
"We need to look at the entire operation," Genereux said in making his case for the formation of the task group. "Maybe we close it up entirely in July and August. Just shut it down and save on bills."
While the task group won't go through the overall Parks & Recreation budget line by line, Parks & Recreation Director/CSC Manager Scott Riopelle and his staff will look at ways to save money in the Parks & Rec budget. With talk of adding programs at the CSC like curling and archery, At Large Council Member Wayne Melbye said it might be time to revisit recreational programs that have low numbers or are losing money and consider nixing them. "If things are running a deficit, we need to look at them," he said. "We're talking about adding programs, and that just costs more."
Everyone agrees it's a complex situation to get a firm handle on. In order to get the $2 million in New Market Tax Credit revenue that helped build the CSC, a "limited liability corporation" had to be formed, known as Crookston Civic Arena LLC, and it needs to remain in place for approximately four more years. As a result, the CSC is officially under the Crookston Housing & Economic Development Authority umbrella. As a result, Riopelle said he hasn't done a lot of detailed work involving the CSC budget. "We did all of the other Parks and Rec budgets, but when we got to the arena portion we didn't touch it," he said, adding that he and his staff will commence with digging into it. "If we can look at it, we'll figure it out."
"What's confusing about it is we have a number of budgets going simultaneously, with funds going back and forth," Ward 1 Council Member Tom Jorgens said. "We don't have a straight-up accounting of the arena, and that's what we need. If we're here again next year having this conversation, it's going to be a very serious deal."
Hoeffner said if it turns out that she doesn't need all of the $90,000 to see the CSC budget through the fall, she will return whatever is left to the Municipal Land and Buildings Fund.


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Updated 4:53 p.m.
• Apple reports it has sold 3 million new iPads since launch day, March 16th – The second iPad sold 1 million in its first four days.
Updated 1:55 p.m.
• Apple's plans for its $100 billion cash pile: dividends and share buyback – Apple will pay $2.65 a share for the quarter and start buying back its stock. Plus Apple's lesson: Domestic cash is nimble, foreign cash is expensive
• Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated – Mike Daisey responds to the reactions to This American Life's "Retraction" episode.
• AT&T sets single-day record for iPad sales, activations
• New iPad feature 'Dictation' sends/stores private data to Apple servers – Contact information and other personal data is stored in order to improve Dictation's accuracy. This is similar to what Nuance's Dragon Dictation does.
• Linux kernel 3.3 released with merged Android code and more
Updated 6:46 a.m.
• Apple should make the iPad user-serviceable – It's almost impossible to repair. User-serviceable means it would be "designed for a sustainable future".
• Why Tomorrow's Apple Conference Call Is A Really Big Deal – Apple's sitting on a sizable percentage of all the cash held by all corporations in the world. What it does with this money could have a larger impact. Listen to the call here starting at 8 a.m. CDT today.
Original post
• Time to Review F.A.A. Policy on Gadgets – Nick Bilton says the FAA has told him it will re-examine the use of some personal electronics during takeoff and landings.
• Foxconn not to take legal action after retraction – The Chinese manufacturing giant that was the subject of Mike Daisey's fabrications won't sue, Reuters says.
• With TV Everywhere, It's All About Discovery – Finding content to watch on Internet-connected TVs is a different process than on traditional TV or a PC.
• The Way We Read Now – Some types of literature may be better than others on e-readers and tablets.
• Twitter and Facebook Are Tomorrow's News Service. For Now, Though … – A small percentage of people get their online news via Twitter and Facebook. Most of it comes from Google, or directly from news sites and aggregators. And New Devices, Platforms Spur More News Consumption, But News Industry Loses Ground to Technology Rivals
• Court Orders RapidShare to Filter User Uploads – It's a court in Germany.
• Op-ed: Imminent "six strikes" Copyright Alert System needs antitrust scrutiny – Soon, major ISPs will implement a "six strikes" plan that will penalize people consistently accused of illegally sharing copyrighted material. Is this plan legal under antitrust law? Possibly not.


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A Delaware soccer tournament came to a violent end Sunday after a shootout left one person dead and four others injured. Wilmington police claim shots fired between "multiple parties" led to havoc in the streets, with two of the alleged shooters in custody after wrecking their getaway car; both of the apprehended suspects were themselves injured, one by gunshot and the other by police dog. A third suspect died of gunshot wounds.
The Marcus Garvey Soccer Tournament is an annual Wilmington event named after the Jamaican-born black nationalism leader. Police are still looking for shooting suspects, and have yet to identify exactly how many shooters they believe were involved in the incident.


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Wii Mini console launching next month – report
Wii U may be out in Europe this week, but a leaked retail report suggests that Nintendo hasn't turned its back on the original Wii just yet. The report suggests that the original hardware is getting the mini treatment. Check out the report below.
Nintendo just responded to a VG247 email asking about the Wii Mini's existence. A Nintendo UK rep stated, "Nintendo don't comment on rumour and speculation."
Original Story:
NintendoWorldReport stated that it had received an internal memo from a retailer but could not say from which chain it came from, so as always with reports like this, take it with a heavy dose of salt.
The memo is said to include the text:
Introducing the Wii Mini! Coming Dec 7 2012!
Compact Nintendo Wii Console
Comes with Sensor Bar, Nunchuk and Wii Remote Plus with Jacket.
The downsizing of Wii would fall in line with some of Nintendo's products, except from the 3DS, which seems to grow larger and more deadlier by the year.
We've asked Nintendo for comment on this rumour. Stay tuned.


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The Thompson and Galmore Family of Adams County, Mississippi recently celebrated their bi-annual family reunion on July 6 – 8, 2012. What a celebration it was! Several generations of the descendants of Calvin " Papa Lovie" Thompson and Sarah "Mama Sarah" Galmore-Thompson from New York to Texas converged on Natchez and Sibley, MS to celebrate family connections and history.
|The Family Griot with Abdul Muhammad at the homestead of Calvin and Sarah Thompson
One of the biggest surprises of the family reunion was the reconnection of a distant cousin, Abdul-Rahmaan Abd-Raheem Muhammad, who came to celebrate with us. Personally it was quite a surprise for me because I discovered that for 25 years he lived about 40 minutes from where I grew up, his daughter was a high school classmate of a cousin and he was friends with the family of the same cousin! Abdul (formerly Andrew S. Thomas), born in Hattiesburg, MS, is the son of George Thompson, grandson of Philip Thompson and great-grandson of Benjamin Thompson; attended his first Thompson-Galmore Family Reunion. After being separated from his extended Thompson family for several years, Abdul was returned to us and a branch of the family tree was restored.
|Abdul-Rahmaan Abd-Raheem Muhammad is a published author who wrote a book of poems inspired by his life experiences and spiritual journey, entitled "Words: Masterpieces of Limitation".


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Microsoft on Monday added new security features to its Windows Live Hotmail web mail service to help users regain control of hijacked accounts.
Citing a trend of spammers seizing legitimate accounts, Microsoft said it was kicking off new techniques to sniff out compromised Hotmail accounts, as well as giving users more ways to reclaim inboxes snatched by criminals.
Microsoft first touted the features last May , before it rolled out a massive Hotmail upgrade.
Rather than rely on an alternate e-mail address and a single secret question-answer pair for resetting an account password, Hotmail now lets a user set one or more "trusted PCs" or a mobile phone as proof that she is the real owner of the account, said Dan Lewis, a senior product manager with the Hotmail team.
"On other services, if a spammer has [an account's] password, he can change the [password reset] proofs," said Lewis. "But recognising that more accounts are being targeted for comprising, we're not going on the assumption that you only need one proof to reset the password."
In one of the most famous abuses of a password reset feature, University of Tennessee student David C. Kernell got control of the Yahoo Mail account of former Gov. Sarah Palin during the 2008 presidential election by answering a single security question .
Kernell was later convicted on a federal felony charge and a federal misdemeanor charge.
Instead, Hotmail users can now tag multiple PCs, Lewis wasn't sure of how many, only that more than one was possible, as a proof. Users locked out of their account by a hijacker can regain control simply by logging in from one of the previously-set trusted machines.
To use a PC as proof, users must have installed Windows Live Essentials , a suite of for-free applications Microsoft offers for download.
Users can also enter a mobile number as another proof. That phone will then receive an unlocking code via a text message when the user asks for a password reset.
"People will always be able to get their account back," said Lewis. "Spammers are not going to be able to hack into their cell phone or their trusted PC."
With those proofs in place, more users will be able to reset their passwords without help from Microsoft support. "Medium-term, people will have a better self-service recovery path," Lewis said.
To add additional proofs, such as a trusted PC or cell phone, to a Hotmail account, users must click "Options" in the upper right of the Hotmail screen, select "More options..." from the drop-down menu, then click "View and edit personal information" under the subheading of "Mange your account." The proofs can be added under "Password reset information."
Microsoft isn't the only Web mail provider beefing up security. Last week, Google announced two-factor authorisation that lets businesses protect Gmail log-ins by delivering a one-time code to a cell phone via text message.
Hotmail has had a similar feature, dubbed "single-use codes," for several months.
"We're making the proofs for users more secure so hackers can't lock them out," said Lewis.


text:
Message Board
Robert Hicks Message Board
Talk about the novels, new and used books that Hicks has written!
Author Hicks's Book Reviews
A Separate Country
This book is a novel about the controversial General John Bell Hood. The book is in someways a biography. It starts in New Orleans, 23 years after the Civil War while John Bell Hood is dying from yellow fever and is urged to recall his life. Hood reflects his story starting in 1878, he is now bankrupt, and near destitute. Fragile, with only one leg and in ill health he is a shell of a man that he use to be. The book reflects Hood's personal life, ...
Widow of the South
The U.S. Civil War is in its latter days when General Nathan Forrest forces his way into Carrie McGavock's home and orders it turned into a hospital. Carrie, her children, Mariah, the slave given to her as a child, and local residents act as nurses and orderlies. Carrie's husband John is rarely around. He is busy trying to keep their plantation operating without their slaves, whom he sent further to the south when the war drew closer. Relationships de...


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Looks like you are using an old version of Internet Explorer - Please update your browser
Next time you want to "reward" your children, consider doing it when they least deserve your kindness. Then they might see more clearly the reward that is waiting for them in heaven.PDF Download
No results found in Father's Corner.
In this issue discover the wonders of God's creation and see how our Creator is clearly seen all around us. Articles cover bizarre creatures in the fossil record, the intricate "matrix" of bacteria, the eye, and many other marvels.Browse Issue Subscribe
Answers in Genesis is an apologetics ministry, dedicated to helping Christians defend their faith and proclaim the gospel of Jesus Christ.


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Every year, it seems that at least one spot in the Royal Rumble is held back for a "surprise" entrant. Be it a random old-timer, a returning Superstar or even someone back from TNA, there's always one guy that draws the "hey, I know him!" pop.
Last year it was Rob Van Dam back for a one-night appearance…and I was "lucky" enough to draw his number in the little Royal Rumble pool my friends and I set up.
Who will it be this year?
As of now, there are 24 names announced for the Rumble on WWE.com, and you can up that to 25 if you've read WWE Superstars spoilers. That leaves five spots open for potential surprises.
Sure, there are a few filler guys who will be added in that have no chance of winning (Primo Colon, I'm looking at you), but one of those slots is bound to be taken by a guy you'd never expect, right?
In that vein, I'm going to have a little fun and list five names I wouldn't mind seeing in the Rumble.
No. 1: Edge
First and foremost, we have a returning star. No one has seen or heard from him in six months or so, and he very well could be fully (or almost fully) recovered from his torn Achilles tendon.
If that's the case (and the rumored Edge vs. Chris Jericho match at WrestleMania is a go), he could easily return in the Rumble. Have him run in quick, go right after Jericho and eliminate both men. You have an instant feud igniter, an easy way to get rid of Jericho and a quick night for Edge.
No. 2: Booker T
It has been three months since Booker was last seen leaving TNA Bound for Glory on a stretcher.
So why not bring the Bookerman back, even if it's for a one-shot deal?
The fans (myself included) would pop if "CAN YOU DIG IT, SUCKA?" hit the PA, and because Booker was at the main event level when he left, pretty much anyone would buy him having a chance at winning.
I can dig that.
No. 3: Rob Van Dam
Hell, he did it last year, so why not again? RVD has traditionally done well in the Rumble (he's been in the final four or five a handful of times) and fans still love him no matter what.
If they threw him in there at, say, No. 15 or 16 and let him hang around for 15 minutes, it wouldn't be the biggest waste of a spot.
No. 4: Dusty Rhodes
Two years ago, the roof came off Madison Square Garden when WWE Hall of Famers Roddy Piper and Jimmy Snuka showed up in Rumble.
The 2010 Rumble is in Atlanta, home of Jim Crockett Promotions/NWA/WCW lore. With Dusty stationed in Florida as a huge part of FCW these days, why not bring him up and let him get funky like a monkey for a few more minutes?
I don't know how easily he could get over that top rope, but there'd be no more fun moment than seeing Dusty, Goldust and Cody Rhodes in the ring at once nailing some poor schmuck with triple Bionic Elbows – nor would there be any easier way to trigger dissension in Legacy (again, if a rumored breakup truly is in the works) than to have Ted DiBiase toss the "Dream," or even by having Cody do it himself.
No. 5: Doink the Clown
Why the hell not? After all, you could at least have him throw down a banana peel and eliminate, say, Big Show or some other behemoth.
So who would you want to see?
--Louie D
Contributing Writer
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Royal Rumble Surprise Party
3 comments:
- brady said...
What about Ricky Steamboat instead of Dusty Rhodes? He was working dark matches as recently as last summer.
- January 28, 2010 at 2:12 PM
- Chris Slater said...
Ricky Steamboat is a good suggestion.
I know it's not a "surprise entrant," but I think the Rumble would be a cool spot to debut Bryan Danielson.
- January 28, 2010 at 7:23 PM
- Lou said...
Danielson was originally the fifth guy I had, but when I thought about it, it's not ideal to do that.
Yes, people would know who he is, but you'd have to make him look REAL strong right off the bat or he's dead in the water.
See also: Sparky Plugg, 1994.
-Louie Dee
- January 29, 2010 at 9:52 AM
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)


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by optimalcycling
A high quality extension that provides "NoScript" like javascript blocking with the easiest to use interface.
Increase your browser security and reduce your CPU usage by using NotScripts to block scripts from running.
Has the easiest to use interface for selective scripting;
Blocks both inline and 3rd party scripts from running;
Blocks scripts from running from "javascript:" protocol links;
Can run in blacklist, whitelist, or whitelist + allow same origin modes.
Please note that you will need to set the User Javascript Quota in Opera for NotScripts to work properly if you have not done so before. You will see easy to follow instructions in the NotScripts drop down menu.
Opera 11.10 or above is *required* to use this version of NotScripts.
- This extension can modify or add functionality to one or more websites.
Feedback from users
Reviews and ratings
Sometimes, usually after already having once changed some permissions on current sessions, but sometimes also on site where I have yet not once opened the dropdown list, the list of domains is simply blank. I'd give 3 to 4 stars (compared to NoScript's features this is oversimplified, but still appreciated) were there not this flaw, but I have to go for 2 until it gets fixed.
Also according to complaints, this flaw appeared after upgrade to Opera v. 12, which is the newest offered for Debian Stable and Linux Mint Debian Edition (or LMDE), which is based on Debian Testing - and I've locked it to that version, so I wont ever be "upgraded" to new and bet... chromiumer Opera, which I've seen on Windows and loathed. Even the magnificient alternative to Hit-a-Hint / Mouseless Browsing style keyboardless navigation, the shift-arrows link navigation was gone.
Yuck, but that last was complaint about Operiumer, not this extension.
Świetny i wygodny w obsłudze dodatek! Sprawdza się rewelacyjnie.
Will you release this extension for a higher version of Opera ? For example Opera Desktop 20. If I understand correctly, 11 and 12 use Presto for HTML rendering. I wonder if it is a matter of incompatibility or if it's possible to have an upgrade.
Thank you
Niiice! Works with Opera Mobile Labs build 12!
Have only been using this addon for several months now. I really like it except for two things.
1) NotScript does not save my settings. Every time I open Opera I have to reenable it for every website that I visit. Even if the site is in my whitelist I still have to reenable it on that website.
2) For the life of me I cannot find the password file. The official site doesn't have instructions for Opera users. I did a search on my computer for everything related to Opera and I couldn't find the file. I'm running Xubuntu 12.04.
Those are the only two issues I have run across myself. I also experience the same thing supercharlie does from time to time. I go to change the settings on a webiste and sometimes it just gives me a blank page with a link for 'Options' and 'Home' at the top and that's it. I don't know if it's a bug or what.
will there be the feature of allowing scrips only for one tab?
e.g. i want javascript allowed only especially on the tab with www.yyy.zz. this should not affect other tabs with scripts from this site.
the option has to look like:
allow - block - temp - ONLY on this tab.
I just installed on 12.12 and it works however some sites appear to break it in that I know they are script heavy and when you click the icon the dropdown is a blank except for two small links to options and home. It appears some sites have figured out how to kill it and once it is killed I think you need a browser restart to re-enable it.
Great extension.
well done.


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House and Home
|• Introduction
|• Home Rational Home
|• Where to Live in the 1920s?
|• New Woman, New Consumer
|• Emily Post's Modernization of Manners
|• Introduction
|• Home Rational Home
|• Where to Live in the 1920s?
|• New Woman, New Consumer
|• Emily Post's Modernization of Manners
Where to Live in the 1920s?
After World War I, great shifts occurred in where Americans made their homes. With increasing industrialization, many people moved from rural areas into cities for employment opportunities, resulting in an urban housing shortage. By 1930, 56% of Americans lived in urban areas, whereas only 45% had been urban in 1910. Simultaneously, some residents moved beyond the increasingly overcrowded cities because newly paved roads and automobile ownership facilitated commutes to urban workplaces from suburban residential areas. Both the urban and suburban migrations spawned innovation by architects and city and regional planners.
In large cities such as New York, construction of apartment buildings began to replace the huge townhouses inhabited by elite families in previous generations. City architects had varying ideas about how to position these apartment buildings. Some wished to see them tightly packed together; others thought they should be separated by large intervals of open space and parks. One New York designer went so far as to suggest that they should be built on bridges in the waterways surrounding Manhattan.
Few architectural dreams were fully realized, as the apartments were generally constructed to be most profitable instead of most visually pleasing or socially beneficial, but the aesthetically pleasing ideas influenced later urban construction and development.
With increased availability and use of the automobile for home-to-work commutes, suburbs as we know them today started becoming popular in the 1920s. Upper-middle-class suburbs at the time contained few businesses and served only as residential areas. Residents depended on their automobiles to take them to other locations for shopping and services. Styles of houses within these suburbs varied, though generally remained traditional, and the country club came to be the representative suburban landmark during the Twenties. The magazine Architectural Forum dedicated entire issues to the country club in 1925 and 1930.
Architectural historians have noted that smaller homes of the era were strongly regional in their design, such as the ranch-style houses in California. Though elements of homes and other buildings, such as windows and doors, began to be mass-produced around the Twenties, most ventures offering fully-manufactured houses did not meet with great success.
While many homes at the time were still built in traditional styles, designers were working on their plans for the future. For example, after collecting information and developing ideas, Norman Bel Geddes presented his designs for the "future home" in a 1931 issue of Ladies' Home Journal.


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I have this niece and she's the cutest little thing you ever did see--big brown eyes, curly black hair, a puppy dog's heart and a bright, warm smile that would melt the heart of Jack Frost in Winter. She's two-and-a-half years old and you have never met a more lovable toddler. Her name is Carrie Ann.
The only trouble is, Carrie Ann isn't two and a half anymore. She somehow grew up while I was getting old and now she's 26. She teaches elementary school on contract in one of the toughest neighbourhoods in Canada. She loves the arts, plays ball hockey and longs to make the world a smidgen better by her own hands. She's smart and goofy all rolled into one. I'd be lying outright if I said I'd never heard a cuss word cross her lips; and yet, she still calls me Auntie Susie in this sweet little girl voice that can't help but melt my heart. It's no wonder I still carry a big piece of her toddler self in my mind's eye.
Last Friday night, Carrie called to tell me she's pregnant. The pregnancy was unplanned and was definitely unexpected from a medical standpoint. Carrie has always wanted children even if she wasn't sure she'd be able to have them. Sure, there will be financial issues and housing issues and all the other kinds of difficulties that come from having a child before either partner has permanent (or even steady) employment, but she has a long-term, loving partner and an extended family that is financially and emotionally ready to help them along through the first tough year.
What I'd like to do with your help is pass along some advice to Carrie and her partner. I'm looking for the meaty kind of advice that never gets doled out on Baby Center and iVillage message boards. Our comment compendium will have the added bonus of containing far less beeyotch slapping and absolutely no acronyms. So how about it BTDT Moms? I'll start the ball rolling and we can all continue in the comments section.
Mad's Mad Assvice For the Expectant Mother
1. The ratio of time that most healthy pregnant women spend worrying about labour & delivery vs worrying about having a small human being permanently entrusted to their care is approx. 95% to 5%. Try to reverse this ratio.
2. Avoid the What to Expect Books. Reach for Sheila Kitzinger instead.
3. You can and should draft a birth plan and have your Obstetrician sign it. Remember, though, that it will most likely be ignored completely by the healthcare profession. Drafting it will ensure that you, your partner and your families are all on the same page when it comes to lobbying for your needs. And, maybe, if there is a rare solar eclipse on a blue moon, you'll give birth according to plan. (You have decided on an OB and not a Midwife, right? If the latter, then yay! you have options that weren't available to me and I can offer no advice whatsoever.)
4. For the first few weeks of a child's life, breastfeeding requires that at least two adults be present for every feed. All three parties involved will cry. It's better to know this and prepare for this than to be taken out at the knees by it.
5. There will be one issue (at least) that will break your spirit (at least). Practice self-acceptance and self-forgiveness well in advance. I cannot say this one loud enough. It's ok. It's not your fault. You are doing a fine job. If you need help, ask for it. If help is offered, accept it.
6. Find a mother's group or two, corporeal and/or virtual. Spend a couple of hours a week together for that first year because no one else in your life will remember the ready answers to questions like "how do I treat cradle cap?" or "What is Ovol?" or, hell, I don't even remember any of the 1,000 little questions that I knew were vitally important way back when.
7. Nothing will prepare you for the love you will feel for your child. You may not, however, feel this love on the first day or even in the first week your child is born. Do not beat yourself up about it because it is not uncommon for mothers to take a little while to grasp all that has happened to them. The love will come and it will be bigger than anything you have ever experienced.
8. Matt, when your babe is a month old, please read this. Ron, you do the same.
9. Carrie, watch closely when your Mom and your Aunts hold your babe. They have mad skillz. I can't tell you how much Nan changed my life in those first few weeks. I sometimes still do the bob and weave just for nostalgia's sake.
10. As much as possible, don't listen to the fear mongering pre- and post-natal. It will just make you feel small, and it will leave you no better prepared to deal with anything that may or may not go wrong along the way.
So, wise readers, what say you?
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Assive welcome here
I have this niece and she's the cutest little thing you ever did see--big brown eyes, curly black hair, a puppy dog's heart and a bright, warm smile that would melt the heart of Jack Frost in Winter. She's two-and-a-half years old and you have never met a more lovable toddler. Her name is Carrie Ann.
Posted by Mad at 11:55 PM
44 comments:
- thordora said...
I think the biggest is-you will have doubts-about yourself, about this world, about your boobs, about pushing that creature out, or letting a doctor take it out and into the light. You will doubt every single step, at least for awhile.
And it will be normal, and every single other mother in the baby aisle at Zellers will be feeling the same way.
Accept that this is one thing you cannot control, and that babies are life's way of teaching us to accept the unpredictible and stubborn. THis doesn't change as they get older either-if anything it gets worse.
You might think you don't love them, not at first. Then something will happen that scares your heart up into your throat and you will know with such visceral agony that you love them more than anything you have ever loved, or ever will. That they are forever a part of you, and you of them.
You will be different. It will hurt to adjust to it, but becoming the mother, becoming the person that baby will bring-it's a fantastic journey.
And when in labour-remember that it will come out, it will end, and the only way out is through.
oh Mad, you make me all misty for my first pregnancy. The first time is so specific and brand shiny new.
- No Mother Earth said...
Wow, I have a lot of assvice, and am rarely invited to share it.
Probably that breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I ever did, and I thought I was the only one having a hard time. I felt so alone, even with all the help. I found out much later that many people had trouble. Most people even. If you want to breastfeed, persevere. You are not alone.
Also, if someone volunteers to watch the baby for a while so you can rest, LET THEM. Nothing bad is going to happen. Get some rest.
(I wrote a post awhile back with 100 assvicey type things for new parents, if I can find the link, I will email it to you...)
- OmegaMom said...
I'll start off with one of the "not spoken of beforehand" pieces of info. There will be times when it's definitely *not* fantastic. You will be tired and angry and frustrated. And tired. And resentful of a small being who depends on you for every. Single. Thing. In. Life. And tired. This doesn't make you bad, and doesn't mean you're crazy: It means you're human. It will pass.
Sleep whenever the baby sleeps.
Trust yourself; if you're doing something that works, and other people sniff or disapprove, let the disapproval slide off your back. They have their children and their ways; you'll have yours.
Ask for advice. Try different things. Keep the things that work; toss the things that don't.
Babies smell wonderful and have lovely soft skin.
No matter how much you baby-proof, your baby will fall into/bang into something that you didn't think to keep him/her away from. That's okay.
Enjoy. Babies are really cool! And they grow up into really cool people, too!
11. Before you buy any piece of baby equipment read Buy, Buy Baby
by Susan Gregory Thomas. It outlines the marketing techniques used by corporations to manipulate maternal instinct for profit. The most effective technique is to undermine a new mother's confidence so that she latches on to a line of products as a solution and remains a loyal customer. FOREVER!
12. Don't give the baby a crap name. If your primary reason for choosing a name is "everyone is going to know this kid has a cool/intelligent/funny/trekkie/hip mom" then you fail. It's not about you. Your child's self-esteem, earning potential, and willingness to support you in your dotage is dependent upon you not giving the child a name that is horrible. Especially if that name is Nevaeh.
- Beck said...
1. Don't worry about losing that weight right off the bat - focus on breastfeeding and recovering from the birth. I've always found that a LOT of the weight magically melts off in those first couple of weeks, anyhow.
2. Remember that the goal of labour is to get your baby safely out, and any way that happens is fine.
3. You're going to be REALLY tired. Try not to operate any heavy machinery.
4. You need a LOT less baby crap than They Say You Do - we got by with a baby sling and some baby undershirts and a sun hat for our first baby, born when we were just young 'uns, too.
5. The La Leche League is not about tofu casseroles - if there's an active group in your community, they can provide a VITAL new social group for new moms.
- Hannah said...
I'm going to show this list to my baby brother (well, he's 23, but he's still a baby, you know?) and his girlfriend, as they also embark on an unexpected but not unwelcome pregnancy.
Let's see... anything you can do to make the parenting process less onerous, you should do - even if you have people telling you to take the harder option. So if disposable diapers buy you some sanity, go for it. If you are breastfeeding and can't pump enough to fill a bottle and get a break, formula is NOT POISON. Remember a happy baby is a well-fed baby - however that happens.
Buy the most super-absorbent pads you can for the weeks following labour. I was horrified to discover that "discharge" actually means "gushers of smellyness".
Trust your partner. He may not do things exactly the way you would, but the baby won't mind. And neither should you.
When you pack your hospital bag, take a pen. You will need to fill out a truly daunting pile of forms and no nurse in the place will have a spare pencil. ;)
Try to make peace with the idea that this will be both the hardest and most wonderful thing you will ever do. Enjoy your pregnancy if you can. And take no assvice that leaves you feeling stressed or put-upon.
Good luck!
- Christine said...
1. listen to your aunt mad--she is one smart cookie.
2. cook and freeze meals before the little one arrives. you'll be glad you have something to eat on those days when everyone is tired yet hungry.
3. you know your body better than anyone. don't be afraid to ask questions of your ob or midwife. don't ever feel like you are pestering them. their job is to help you and educate you so that you have a safe, happy birth experience.
4. if the medical staff you are working with while pregnant doesn't please you or you have a hard time working with them change docs or midwifes. even at a late date, if you feel uneasy about your caregiver it is worth finding a new one. you deserve good care that you trust.
- Veronica Mitchell said...
Don't let anyone make you feel stupid. Any mom, nurse, doc or lactation consultant who pretends they always knew everything is lying. We all start out not knowing enough.
In a pinch, any diaper can be the right diaper.
Two of my babies pooped through their clothes three times a day for the first three months. You will need more laundry than you think.
When folks say "sleep when the baby sleeps," that means don't do all the things you planned to do while the baby sleeps. Brush your teeth and pay the bills, but let everything else slide. You are tired. Sleep instead.
Bonding with your baby is one of your new tasks. When you are feeling happy with the baby, ignore the other very important things you were working on, pick up your sweet babe, and cradle and rock and coo. In forty years you will not regret spending too little time washing dishes or making lesson plans.
- kgirl said...
First off - Congratulations to you and your neice! Wonderful news, and I can't imagine how proud you must be. My own neice, now 10, will forever be 2 1/2 (the age she was when she walked down the aisle at my wedding) for me as well.
As for the assvice, oh, I have plenty. I won't read what anybody else has written, so that it will be pure.
Much of this is what my own mother taught me. We disagree on many occasion, but rarely about the care of a newborn, or the attitude you need to survive it.
Here's what I got, take it with a grain of love:
1) If you can have a midwife, do. It will the best decision you make during your pregnancy, but more importantly, she will be an amazing support to you in the post-partum weeks. Trust me on this.
1.a) Childbirth is FINE. Yes, it's totally intense, but you can do it. Contractions are finite. Every one you have is one you'll never have again, and it brings you one step closer to your baby. You are strong, and you can handle it.
2) Do not put little mitts on your newborn's hands. They need those hands to stick in their little mouths, for comfort. They did this the entire time they were in the womb, so don't take them away now. I promise, they won't scratch their own eyes out. If you are worried about sharp, little nails, simply bite them off. Seriously.
2) Babies need hats when outside, whatever the weather. Sun hats when it is hot, cotton hats when it is warm, and wooly hats when it is cold. Always a hat outside.
3) Breastfeeding may well be the hardest thing you ever do, but work your hardest to get through those early weeks. Besides the obvious health and bonding benefits, it makes living and travelling with a newborn easy as pie. Have boob, will travel, I alway say.
4) Let this become your mantra:
This too shall pass.
You won't always believe it, especially at 3 in the morning when you want to sleep and your baby wants to party, but it's true. As soon as you get used to something with a newborn, it changes. Sometimes that is great (again, that 3 am party thing), sometimes it is sad.
5) Motherhood is a gift, and it will change you forever. Everybody says this, but you don't know it until it happens. It's 100% accurate.
- kgirl said...
Wow, you've got great advice here - all of it. These are smart, smart women, and it all applies at one point or another.
Just to be clear, because I reread, and I don't want you take it the wrong way, when I say in 1a) that you are fine and can handle labour, I mean, the whole thing in general, not that if you seek relief it is somehow a failure, because it ain't. Healthy mum, healthy babe is the only goal.
- Mary G said...
Babies are very tough; much tougher than you think. If you make a mistake, baby will survive and prosper anyway.
You are less tough than you think. Take all that good advice Auntie Susie has collected about rest, asking for help and giving yourself a break.
All babies are different. What works for one might not work for yours. Also they change their mind frequently. What works for you baby today might not do the trick tomorrow. Roll with it.
A lot of these things we are told we must train our babies to do, are actually developmental milestones. Your babe won't sleep through the night until its good and ready to do so. There is no magic formula that will make them sleep through the night.
Smile at your baby a lot. You will get lots of smiles back in return.
Make friends with your boobs now. You are going to be spending a lot more time with them. In the beginning, motherhood=nursing.
When babies wake up in the morning, you might be surprised to find that they are ready for their first nap in no time at all. Sometimes only 1-1.5 hrs after first waking. It took me weeks to figure this out. Try it, its a great time to get your shower, do your hair, eat, drink coffee, etc.
Finally, do what works for you and your baby. Not what works for your Mom, your friend, your sister, the woman down the street, even the nurse in the hospital or the book on the shelf. Stop caring so much about what other people think about you, stop trying to please everyone.
Go outside multiple times a day. Walk everywhere.
- ewe are here said...
I'll go the other way on one big topic, breastfeeding. I'm a big advocate of breastfeeding... but guess what, couldn't do it. Not enough there, and nothing was going to change that. My first piece of advice is if you can't, or if you don't want to, or if you want to supplement for ANY reason, don't let people bug you about it... it's why formula was invented. It saved our lives.
As for the rest, my biggest piece of advice is your goal is happiness, happy baby, happy parents. Perfection is not required for happiness. Mistakes are expected and all easily correctable and quickly forgotten. Knowing you 'are there' is all they need, period.
They don't need all the 'stuff' to be happy and loved.
Babies can sleep anywhere; they don't need much and they won't see or care about designer nursery or clothes or toys. They'll be with you for the first year except when they're sleeping; they don't even need a room of their own. our boys slept in baskets anywhere in the house; cribs in the hallway, oversized closets, etc. Almost all their clothes and toys and books were/are second hand. And they are the two happiest, most secure children you will ever meet. I expect their future baby sister will be much the same, and I say that as i browse the charity shops for some pink. ;-)
Good luck!
- Bea said...
A good book about breastfeeding is great to have in the house, but DO NOT read it from cover to cover, either before or after the baby is born. When a problem comes up, look it up in the index.
The two products I found most useful:
(1) the Jolly Jumper (traditional cloth one - not the fancy versions with tables) - it's cheap, you can hang it from a doorframe or screw a hook into the ceiling, and as soon as the baby has enough neck strength (around 3-4 months) it is the MOST fun that baby has ever had.
(2) zippered infant carseat cover for the winter months - I can't remember what they're called now, but they're cozy and they eliminate the need for squeezing baby's limbs into a snowsuit.
Swaddling is also a good thing. I personally found the velcro-equipped swaddling blankets worthwhile, but they're expensive and many people with more coordination than me can swaddle properly with a regular blanket.
Good baby fact to know: babies cannot form habits based on learned experience in the three months of life. That means you can do whatever works during that period of time without worrying that you're forming habits that will be difficult to break later - and if you want to change what you're doing, that's fine too.
- Bon said...
this is great.
i don't have a lot to add that others haven't already covered, with aplomb.
i want to second the whole "listen to - and call on - your Aunt Mad 'cause she rocks" mantra.
i also want to say that much of having a baby and being a parent may unfold very differently from how you imagined. if you always thought of yourself with a boy, you may have a girl. if you have your heart set on a natural delivery, you may need a c-section. if you want baby to sleep in his or her own crib and room, you may end up with a snuggler who only wants to cosleep, or vice versa. DON'T sweat it. none of it is a failure, or a sign that your relationship with baby won't be as loving or as wonderful as you've always hoped. just keep going, on whatever sleep you can scrounge up. and don't feel guilty for needing and wanting sleep.
as for the fear-mongering...i will take a slightly different pov than Mad...i say be aware of things that can happen and go wrong but do not expend energy on them. be aware but not afraid, if you can walk that balance...it's good practice for the rest of your life as a parent.
last...when you get big and waddly and people smile at you just because, enjoy that, even if you feel like a house. because from the day the baby's born, people will just be smiling at the kid. :)
- Mad said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- Beck said...
Ha! I was totally coming back over with a bit of a dampener on the whole La Leche League thing - but the good ones are REALLY good, and if it's friendly and nice, the meetings are a nice place to meet other new moms.
Also, I forgot to say "car seat." you will need one.
Just one thing to add... the days with a baby are long, but the years fly by... value every minute.
- painted maypole said...
Congrats. and oh... what hasn't already been said? I'll echo the sentiments of find a community of moms, educate yourself BUT know that you and your child have a unique relationship and so make the choices that are right for you both, when you get the chance, do something non baby related that you love- don't feel guilty about, enjoy it!, as for all that baby stuff, less IS more, and get it USED when you can. Borrow and buy used and then pass on to someone else. Babies in footie pajamas are the cutest things ever. Amen to the whole birth plan thing your aunt said. I recommend Dr. Sear's The Birth Book. Take LOTS of pictures. Get a good camera NOW. I wish, wish, wish I had had a better camera when my daughter was a babe, and had taken better pictures. Get a good camera now and practice with it. Look at other people's baby pictures and see what you like.
Most baby accessories are completely optional.
Babies don't care about colors or coordination where outfits are concerned.
TV is not evil. It's a way to shower regularly when the baby becomes a boddler.
Breastfeeding is good, but don't overwhelm yourself with a long term goal. Say "I'm going to do this for six weeks" and then when six weeks comes set a new goal of two or three months. Every time you reach a goal and see how things are going (usually better than you expected) set another one. Becoming a long-term breastfeeder is a matter of setting manageable goals and being flexible. (I nursed my daughter until she was four and a half. Really didn't think in those first weeks I had that kind of an earth mother lurking in me).
Avoid baby advice books and parenting magazines because you probably know parents personally who are smarter.
How exciting! Congratulations to all.
- kate said...
Oh these are great! My two cents:
I had a great experience with a doula, even though I had midwives. I would do that combination again in a heartbeat.
Read parenting books if they help, but if they make you feel bad, stop. Nobody knows your kid better than you.
Make sure you have a friend or family member (or several) you can call at the drop of a hat to come and hold the baby so you can eat/shower/insert necessary bodily function here on rough days. Set it up in advance that you might do that, so you don't feel stupid. (I didn't do this, and had a number of days when I wished i had someone like that.)
I also second the cooking and freezing in advance.
If you're planning to try breastfeeding, put lansinoh in the hospital bag (or whatever - buy it when you're pregnant).
Breastfeeding is literally a full-time job in the early days, even when everything is fine. Even if everything goes swimmingly in that department, it's still f-ing hard, and it's ok to admit that. Being the sole source of food for the most important creature you've ever been in the presence of is heavy shit.
- sweetsalty kate said...
What an amazing bunch of comments... the only thing I'd add is selective listening. Ha! Not to these. These are great. I'm talking about the nosy neighbours and overbearing relatives, people who make reaching statements (or judgements) on one school of thought or another. Shake 'em off, follow your gut. Except when it's trusted friends and strangers on the internet.
Congrats! Such good advice already. I'll add a few things:
1) Try really hard at the breastfeeding. It's so worth it. Line up support from a Lactation consultant BEFORE you have the baby, so you can call them on short notice if you need to.
2) Invest in a good baby carrier. No, Baby Bjorn and Snugglie are not good baby carriers. Google these few and go from there: Baby Hawk, Didymos, Moby wrap.
3) Even if you are not planning on sharing your bed with your baby, do some research on how to do it safely, beforehand. You may change your mind in the middle of some long, long night, and this is not a good time to decide if your mattress is too soft, or your blankets too numerous and heavy.
4) Learn to nurse lying on your side!!
5) Listen to your heart and your baby. You have mam instincts for a reason, follow them.
6) Children are spoiled by things, NOT by love. Hold your infant, carry your baby, hug your toddler, tell your teenager you love them - it will not damage them or make them overly dependent.
- Cold Spaghetti said...
Brilliant advice, Mad.
Here's what I wish someone had told me. Or, perhaps beat me over the head about until I heard it...
-- Secretly crying in the shower everyday and believing that your baby hates you is not abnormal. But it is something that should be discussed and treated.
-- Co-sleep. Co-sleep. Co-sleep.
-- Nurse on the side lying down. Everything else is too hard until you're a pro.
-- You're not a pro nurser until about month 3. It's a good 12 weeks of work to get there, but it's worth it.
-- You're the Mommy. Trust that. Believe in yourself. It's all in there if you let yourself listen.
- mo-wo said...
1. You know it all. Never place the advice on someone who has been in the company of your baby for 5minutes over you or your partner.
2. Forget SB -- name the baby Magellan!
3. Auntie Susie is right, especially #8
- nonlineargirl said...
That is pretty comprehensive.
I'd just add: you may not like your child every moment at any point along the way. You love them, but but you can love them while hating them and not be a bad person.
That thing about asking for help - wow is it important. Even if you are really bad at asking for help, your life will be so much better if you do.
Oh, and sleep when the baby sleeps. Screw cleaning, screw cooking, screw whatever else NEEDS to be done. Sleep is more important. Remember that lack of sleep is a form of torture. Do not impose it on yourself, you'll have enough of that pain anyway.
- Kyla said...
This is great, Mad! Lots of good stuff. Your niece is older than me by a year!
My biggest piece of advice is listen to your own instincts. You'll know a lot more than you think you will. If you ever feel that something isn't right with your child's health or development, speak up. You know your baby/child better than anyone and for a good long time you are the only voice he or she will have. This was probably the hardest lesson for me to learn, but it was also the most important.
Also, EVERYONE has strong opinions about parenting, breast vs bottle, cosleep vs sleep training, and so forth. I've learned that very seldom is there a single RIGHT way to parent, you have to find what works for you and your children, not what works for someone else.
- Janet said...
I feel very redundant trying to say anything here. But Mad knows I will anyway. :) Feel free to edit, Mad, I may get carried away. (What, me? NEVER!)
1. Vicki Iovine's "Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy." I think that's the title. She's had 4 kids. Very funny, very honest.
2. Expect everyone you encounter to ferret out the absolute most god-awful pregnancy and birth stories they ever heard (usually NOT experienced by them). I spent most of the 9 months open-mouthed in horror.
3. If you are in pain and can't breathe during labor, get the epidural. You are no less of a woman. God invented that thing for a reason.
There are some side effects to the epidural, one is a hideous headache, which I didn't get, and another is overall hideous itching, which I did. Totally worth it.
And if they finally decide the baby isn't coming out and want to do a c-section, that's OK too. Do not let anyone tell you it's a bad thing. You still gave birth to that baby!
HOWEVER - someone else mentioned that "discharge" after birth? Yeah, that's not discharge, it's a flood and will last forever. Or 6 weeks, give or take a week. And you'll do it even with a c-section, so you're not getting out of anything there. It's normal. They don't tell you what to expect, but when you call the doctor's office in horror thinking you're dying, they'll tell you THEN that it's perfectly normal.
4. Breastfeeding can be hard. Sure, it's natural, but that doesn't make it necessarily simple. It's definitely a learned technique. The La Leche League made me feel like a complete and total idiotic shit. I finally got hold of a kind and compassionate lactation consultant at the doctor's office who informed me that she'd never seen a baby act like mine did. So it WASN"T MY FAULT!!! :) Breastfeeding is totally worth it, but I didn't enjoy it. Even with my second one, who nursed effortlessly about 5 hours after he was born. Most people do, so again, I felt like a total loser until I was talking with a friend of mine whom I see as the quintessential earth mother and found out she hated it as well. I was so relieved. It did not help me bond with the baby either time. I did it for 18 months with the first one, until she gave up on her own, and 16 months with the second one, when I had to wean him in order to go on RA medication. I'll be perfectly happy if no one ever touches my boobs ever again. (The Mountain Man, who was a great cheerleader for breastfeeding, is not as happy with the final results.)
5. Now that I've rendered you open-mouthed with horror (and I didn't even tell you my birth story!), let me assure you by saying it's the greatest thing I ever did in my life. I was 41 when I had the first one. I'm not saying it's easy. It's also the hardest work I ever did, but it's the most rewarding. You will not love every minute. You will cry a lot, mainly because you feel like you haven't slept in months. (You haven't.) LET PEOPLE HELP YOU. Ignore the ones who come in to your house and preach about what you are doing wrong. Lock the door on them. Let in the ones who bring you tea and cookies and clean your kitchen and do your laundry for you.
Give the baby to the daddy early and often. Daddy can do everything except nurse (and even then, he can feed a bottle of formula or expressed milk.)
6. Speaking of the daddy, let him do things his way, unless he asks for help. If the diaper is upside down, so be it. Babies don't keep diapers on more than 30 minutes anyway. I've been known to change one only to have the baby poop in the new one before I got it fastened properly. Don't criticize the way he does things, unless he's honest-to-god endangering the baby, because he will give up trying and let you do all of it all by yourself. You do NOT want that!
7. I loved our Baby Bjorn, which was borrowed. I never carried the baby in the carseat, primarily because I could barely lift it. They both loved the bjorn. I had a sling but never could get the hang of adjusting it to where the rings didn't rest painfully on my shoulder bone. And the Queen would have no part of it, anyway.
8. Someone else said avoid buying all the stuff. We got a bunch of stuff as gifts that we never ever used, but people got railroaded by Babies R Us and other companies into thinking we "needed" various plastic items of dubious utility.
It's a grand adventure, and you'll be great at it. Good luck!
- Janet said...
Oh yeah, someone said that when choosing a name, try it on for size by yelling the full name out the back door ten times in a row. If you still like it, keep it on the list.
- DaniGirl said...
Oh goodness, such a great topic, and I'm going to be rude and dump in my comments without reading those above mine. (tsk tsk)
1. The beginning is SO hard. But it is NOT like this forever. It's different and shocking and there is no way you can prepare for it -- but real life does reassert itself eventually.
2. Ask for help if you need it. Little things (make me a sandwich) or big things (I'm in trouble and I don't know what to do), whatever it is don't hesitate to ask those closest to you for help, assvice, or just ask them to hold the baby while you sleep for an hour.
3. Midwifes are wonderful and worth their weight in gold.
4. Most of the awful things you read/hear about when you're pregnant won't happen. Try to worry only about real things, not things that might happen.
5. Write down scraps of daily life and little milestones, even just a few words on your kitchen calendar, and takes tonnes of photos. You'll be surprised at how quickly it changes, and how soon you'll forget.
(Writing this makes me a little sad... after three beautiful boys, a part of me would do it all again in a heartbeat.)
Wow, I wish I'd had your Aunt Mad and all her commenters around 13 years ago when my first was born.
Here's what I remember:
--All mothers feel guilt that somehow they are failing by not doing x. (the x differs from mother to mother) Somehow realizing this helped me tremendously. You're doing great. Cut yourself some slack.
--Ignore all the scary birth stories that complete strangers will want to share with you (example: with my first I was in hard labour 38 hours and then they did a c-section but it got infected, etc etc) Whatever. I have HAPPY birth stories and I would love to share them with you. Listen to happy birth stories only and remember--the goal is delivery, not being a super woman.
--It only gets easier. I was at my most tired in late pregnancy. After the baby was born, I was happy and amazed to discover that yes, life was still a blur of exhaustion, but for me at least it wasn't as deep.
Good luck and congratulations!
- Janet said...
1. Let people help you. If they offer to come and clean your house, don't be proud, let them. If they want to bring you food? Hell yes! I had a friend bring me over groceries when I was encouraged and weeping in a corner with my first born. It was entirely lovely to suddenly have food to eat without any effort.
2. Don't stress about getting the baby on a schedule. Does your newborn take every nap on you? Doesn't matter. They won't do it forever and one day you will crave a baby sleeping on you like that. Same goes for not letting them nurse on demand because you don't want to become a human pacifier. Newborn babies nurse. It's what they do. They can't do it too often, it soothes them and, assuming all is going well and it isn't painful for you, it allows you to sit and relax and stroke their beautiful little heads.
3. You may be surprised at how much you resent your husband when the baby's demands feel all encompassing. You also may feel touched out from the experience of having another human dependent on you. Despite what I said above about having a newborn on you being lovely, I am saying that from a place three years away from having a newborn. At the time, it can be exhausting. It's okay. You will like your husband again later. :)
- Cloud said...
I have to delurk to add to this excellent advice.
The thing I wish I had known earlier: some babies don't sleep as well as others. In some cases, there is not a darn thing the parents can do about this. If you happen to get one of these babies, you are not a bad parent. Try everything that seems right to you to help that baby learn to sleep better. If something works- great! If nothing works, and your baby seems happy and healthy with the sleep he/she is getting, adjust your attitude. The baby doesn't have a sleep problem- YOU do. Stop trying to figure out how to "make" a baby sleep (impossible). Start trying to figure out how to get you and your partner enough sleep to function given your baby's sleep pattern. And know that it will pass, and you will get some decent sleep again.
Oh, and I agree about the cook ahead and freeze advice. Except- don't make it all cheesy stuff, because some babies are sensitive to cow's milk protein in breastmilk, and will get screaming gas attacks if you eat cheese. And then all your nice frozen meals will have to sit in the freezer until the baby is about 6 months old. If you get one of these babies, and still want to breastfeed you'll get through the dairy restrictions OK, too.
In fact, you'll get through just about anything life with a baby throws at you, and a year or so later, you will look back and be amazed.
Congratulations, and good luck!
Wow, congratulations!!
1. You will be more tired than you ever thought possible. More tired than after pulling a week of all-nighters for end-of-term, and then spending the weekend partying to celebrate. More tired than staying up for a week before closing a major business deal, or filing for an IPO, or any other thing else.
2. Epidurals don't always give 100% pain relief, but they can help a lot. If you have a drug-free birth, it's nice to be able to walk around right away. I've done both, I prefer the drugs, but hey - both times I had beautiful, healthy babies and that's what counts.
3. Breastfeeding - one good thing to know: It may hurt. A lot. Anything sucking on your skin for hours every day will hurt. It doesn't matter if the latch is good, bad or perfect. DS's latch didn't change from his first time to the last time, when he was 13 months old. I had lots of fussy help from LaLeche and other very well-meaning people, but his latch was fine from the beginning. I just had to get used to it.
4. Breastfeeding: Another good thing to know: Some babies like to nurse for 5 minutes at a time. Others take an hour. It's okay - just let it happen. Those same lactation consultants tried to tell me to limit it to 20 minutes per breast. We were both unhappy until I decided to take as much time as we needed - and that usually more than an hour per feed for the first few months. And you know what? It was fine - it was nice to just sit or lie there and hold the baby. I was tired. See #1.
5. Breastfeeding: Another thing to know: Supplementing with formula will not dry up your milk supply, cause nipple confusion, poison your baby or otherwise end the world. It will allow your partner to feed the baby (and enjoy that bonding) and free you up sometimes.
6. During my first pregnancy, an ultrasound turned up something worrisome. We suddenly had a high-risk pregnancy. Thanks to the Canadian health system, we had excellent care. I learned 2 things - first, it's important to retain as much control as you can - ask questions, do research, challenge assumptions, and ultimately, listen to my inner voice, because DH and I had to make the final decisions, not the medical personnel. Second, you can do everything right as a parent, and still have no control over the outcome.
We were very lucky to have a healthy baby, but I learned the hard way, before he was born, that I had to be at peace with doing the best I could for him - nourish him, provide a good learning environment, love him. After that, his life is out of my hands. The best thing I can do is to prepare him to be capable and independent.
7. Trust your baby actually knows what s/he wants. Trust yourself that you will be able to give it to her/him. And if it isn't perfect, doesn't exactly match your own vision, or a marketing image, or all the well-meaning advice you will get - that's okay. It will still be wonderful and miraculous. You will all be fine.
- Hannah said...
I just remembered something else, via my sister - when doctors say "sleeping through the night" it actually means five consecutive hours of sleep, not eight or ten. So when some beyotch at the grocery store tries to tell you her infant went to bed every night at 6pm and didn't wake until 8am the next morning, she is lying.
As you were. ;)
- Mimi said...
Do you live in Ontario? I do: get a midwife. Mine was great, such a help, and I never had to do that awful fasting glucose thing, because, well, I'm not sick, I'm pregnant! Treated me like a grownup, but made me feel safe.
The first couple of days are bad: you'll come home from the hospital, and all the baby will do is sleep, and you'll want to wake up. At 11pm, it won't go to sleep and you won't know what to do, and you'll be calculating how many more nights of this you will have before it turns 18 and moves out.
Some babies cry a lot, even if you do attachment parenting. It's not your fault. It's okay to wear earplugh when your baby won't stop yelling. You will probably feel mad and guilty. That's okay: the baby doesn't notice. You will all get through it.
It turns out okay. My daughter is two and a half and we love her more than anything. But right after she was born? We weren't sure if we could do it. Really.
I'll never forget, though, her little monkey toes, her big eyes, her gummy chomp. There are good memories in there too!
- Susanne said...
I second Mad, especially on the part of getting help. When you wonder whether your problem is big enough to ask an expert? Go ask. Then ask again.
Remember that parental philosophies are many and they change all the time. For everything you do there will be someone telling you that is wrong. Don't listen.
It is possible to function without sleep for months but I'd rather recommend getting someone to take a walk with the baby (even if said baby is crying at the moment) and get a nap or two.
The things I said the most when my son was a baby:
- No, he isn't hungry he just had something.
- No, he won't suffocate in the sling.
- No, the sling isn't bad for his back.
- No, he wouldn't cry less if I gave him formula.
Also I give you permission to hit anybody on the nose who says the baby days are the best and you should savor them while they last. It might be true but it doesn't help a bit.
Also I'd advise everyone to co-sleep so that the getting up is less tedious, and to have a spare bedroom so that the one not breastfeeding might get a bit of sleep.
The best thing anybody told me before I had a child was a friend who said she took one look at her newborn daughter and knew that she could do this. You might be worrying all the time if what you're doing is right but in the end if you're loving your baby (eventually), keeping it fed, warm, and reasonably clean, and cuddle it that's all it will need.
- a li'l bit squishy said...
Bravo Auntie!! What a great list, it makes me wish that someone had written a similar list for me. That said, I have one thing to add...Trust yourself. No one loves that little babe as much as you and your partner. The two of you will know what is best in spite of what anyone else might say. Enjoy the journey.
- jen said...
how about she might absolutely hate her life sometimes and how that is absolutely OK and it will pass, all of it will pass and she'll feel normal again. we promise.
ps. i love you
Trust your intuition.
- Bev said...
This is not advice for the newborn's parents, it's more for after the child get's old enough to understand - usually about 6 - 8 months later. Often the most loving word you can say to your child/children is NO.
My name is Bev and I am a grandmother hoping to become a GG (great grandmother) in the not too distant future. I wrote and illustrated a book entitled Wool E. Woola. You can see the first 16 pages of this charming children's book if you visit www.moonbowpress.com . This is a very small publishing house. My friend Larry and I do it all except for the printing. We have a great, local, Made in America printing firm do that.
If you wish to purchase Wool E. Woola or the note cards created by Larry or me, also shown on site, follow the directions. However, since money is so tight today for all of us, I would be happy to help you sell Wool E. Woola books or the note cards from your home or, to help your kid's school, your church or wherever use Wool E. or the stationery for fund raisers or, if you have a friend who is having financial problems at this time, your friend. If you or others do wish to sell them, contact me or have them contact me at firstname.lastname@example.com and I will email information about how to go about doing so and how much money can be earned per book or pack of cards that is proportionate to the numbers of either sold.
If you do not want to either buy or sell Wool E. Woola books, I would appreciate if you would still forward this information to your friends.
Thank you,
- An Article A Day said...
I love your Assvice! Wonderful :-)
That is pretty comprehensive.
I'd just add: you may not like your child every moment at any point along the way. You love them, but but you can love them while hating them and not be a bad person.
That thing about asking for help - wow is it important. Even if you are really bad at asking for help, your life will be so much better if you do.
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important. Remember that lack of sleep is a form of torture. Do not impose it on yourself, you'll have enough of that pain anyway.
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