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Kelly's Closet Return Policies
Please note that starting Monday, March 24th all items in the store are considered FINAL SALE and may not be returned for any reason. The manufacturer's will still honor any product defects per their specific warranty periods.
I'm sorry but we do not process exchanges. If you'd like to exchange an item, you will need to process it like a return. Please review our return policies and instructions in its entirety to ensure a smooth and easy return process. Note, if the product is defective or damaged in anyway most brands have a warranty process to handle defects. Please refer to our Warranty Page for additional information on defective or damaged products.
Instructions For All Returns
- Return requests must be made within 30 days of original purchase/invoice date.
- All returns must be postmarked within 30 days of your invoice date.
- Only new, unused, unwashed items in their original condition may be returned (except items are covered by our Wee Guarantee Program). Original condition means free of any stains, odor, smoke, perfume, lint, pet hair, etc. Items must include original tags and packaging (if applicable).
If a coupon code is used for free merchandise and your order falls below the $ threshold required to receive the free merchandise, the free merchandise must be returned unwashed/unused in original packaging or the value of the free merchandise will be deducted from your refund.
You must initiate a return merchandise request to receive an Return Merchandise Authorization number (RMA). To do this simply log into your account. In the Track Your Recent Orders section click on the View Details link for the order you would like to initiate the RMA for. Once you view the order needed, click on the Add New RMA button. You can then choose the item(s) you want to return in the Order Items section. You will also choose the Reason and Method for the return.
Please wait for your Return Merchandise Authorization (RMA) request to be approved before shipping your return to us. You will receive an email notification when your request has been approved (or denied) including your RMA number and return instructions.
After obtaining your RMA number, please send your package, along with a copy of your original receipt, to:
DiaperShops.com (Returns Dept.)
PO Box 369
South Paris, ME 04281
Return shipping costs are the sole responsibility of the buyer. We highly recommend purchasing package insurance or using Delivery Confirmation to ensure your package is traceable. Kelly's Closet is not responsible for returned items we do not receive.
For straight returns and the Wee Guarantee, a 5% restocking fee will apply on all orders. The restocking fee will be waived if you opted for a store credit. If you opted for a straight return refund, you will receive a credit to your original form of payment*. If you opted for store credit, a store credit code will be emailed to you and valid for one year from the date issued. NOTE: If your order was shipped with free shipping, the original shipping costs we paid to ship the items to you will be deducted from all items returned for a straight refund. Returns for store credit will not incur a deduction for the original shipping costs.
*Processing may take up to 10 days.
The following category of items may not be returned for any reason due to the nature of the product. Creams, lotions, salves, soaps, body wash, sunscreen, lanolin, nursing products, nail polish, skin care, conditioner, shampoos, body oils, baby brushes, menstrual cups, menstrual pads, and other products that may be contaminated upon opening a product. We appreciate your understanding and ensure that all products sent to you are brand new and have not been open, tested, or returned. Baby carriers and diaper bags can only be returned if the original packaging and tags are still attached (and the items are clean and free from pet hair and odors). Opened car seats and strollers may not be returned for safety reasons.
Final Sale or Clearance Items. These items cannot be returned/exchanged. No exceptions!
As of January 15, 2019 Kelly's Closet Wee Guarantee program has ended for all new purchases. Any orders placed between December 14, 2018 and January 14, 2019 will have until February 14, 2019 to process a Wee Guarantee return.
The 30 day money back guarantee applies to 30 days from the purchase/order date. All returns eligible for the Wee Guarantee must be postmarked no later than 30 days from the purchase date.
If you need to submit a return for our Wee Guarantee™ program, please follow the instructions here: RMA Form
NOTE: The Wee Guarantee™ will incur a 5% restocking fee for refunds back to your account. If you get a store credit you will receive a full credit for the purchase price. If you received free shipping with your order and return the entire order or part of the order and the value of the retained items is below $49 there will be a deduction for the shipping costs for refunds but that fee is also waived if you choose a store credit. If you purchased a package deal and return only a portion of it, we add up the items that you kept as if you had purchased them individually at regular retail value from our website. Any free gift or promotion must be returned in it's new/unwashed condition. If your order falls below the minimum needed for that promotion.
*All diapers and inserts must be returned in clean/washed condition, free from odor, free from all stains, no pet/human hair, and/or lint. Diapers and inserts with staining are NOT returnable. We have the right to refuse a return that is not received in acceptable condition.
This program is exclusive through www.kellyscloset.com. The warranty is through www.kellyscloset.com and not the manufacturer.
Wee Guarantee Diapers™ Program is a trademarked program and cannot be copied in any way
Defective Merchandise. While every effort has been made to provide you with top quality merchandise, if you believe you have defective merchandise, you must contact the manufacturer directly. Please visit our Warranty Information page or contact us for the manufacturer's contact details. Unfortunately we cannot accept returns on defective merchandise.
Package Deals. If you purchased a package deal and return only a portion of it, we calculate the items you kept as if you had purchased them individually at regular retail value from our website. If you purchase a package deal that included a free bonus item(s), you will need to return the free items (still in their new/unused condition) along with your return. If the free item has been used, or you decide you would like to keep the item, then the cost of the item will be deducted from your return.
Refused Packages. Refusing a package is not a viable return method. Any packages sent back to us as refused are subject to a 25% restocking fee. If you need to make a return please follow our return procedure listed above.
Gift Returns. If you received a gift purchased from Kelly's Closet, you may return the item for store credit within 30 days of the purchase date (all return policies apply). We will need the original invoice number in order to process your return request. If you do not have the invoice number please contact us with the name of the purchaser and we will be able to look up the information for you. Once we receive and process your return we will set up a store credit gift certificate and email you the code. You may use your store credit to purchase anything from our store that is currently in stock.
Exchanges. We do not offer exchanges (only credited returns and store credit for gifts). Our inventory is constantly changing and unfortunately we may not have a particular item/color/size in stock when a return is received. Therefore we only issue store credit so you may purchase from our available inventory and ensure you receive your new items in a quick and timely manner.
Any questions? Please contact us at any time! Thank you for shopping at Kelly's Closet.


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Thursday, September 9, 2010
This picture, via FAILBlog, illustrates that while the Church should not conform itself to the world, it needs to know how the world conducts its affairs. As the Lord Jesus Christ advised us, "Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves."
30 comments:
I literally laughed at this one for 8 minutes.
- September 9, 2010 at 3:21 PM
I'd like to see them recycled on the front of the local Episcopal Cathedral.
- September 9, 2010 at 4:11 PM
- Brian Yamabe said...
They're just being intentional and edgy.
- September 9, 2010 at 5:25 PM
- Josh Schroeder said...
That was my first thought, too, Brian. They did that intentionally.
In this case, does it qualify as trolling on their part?
- September 9, 2010 at 5:29 PM
Nice CJ. I like the expansion to decorations. You might consider vidoes/recordings of bad liturgical music as well.
- September 9, 2010 at 5:38 PM
I suppose having a J banner would have weakened the message.
- September 9, 2010 at 6:32 PM
I am for the move to include ugly decor and also with MWN in that you should also add bad music.
- September 9, 2010 at 7:57 PM
- MonkWerks said...
I am not sure which is worse that they did not know what it meant (i.e. clueless) or that the did (i.e. deplorable).
- September 9, 2010 at 8:10 PM
Seriously, music? WTF That's why I don't go to church anymore. Can't stand drums, can't stand mindless I/me non-hymns.
- September 9, 2010 at 10:02 PM
- Mike Baker said...
Go for it. But I think that the blog should focus on its bread and butter: bad vestments. If you want to branch out occasionally then go for it, but keep the horrible vestments coming. That's your niche!
I also support occasional pictures of a poorly-worded church sign.
- September 10, 2010 at 12:38 AM
- margaret said...
If it really is cluelessness then it's quite touching. The old guys in the Brethren hall I went to eons ago wouldn't have got that and they were, despite their dispensationalism, the proverbial salt. Of course they wouldn't have had a banner. On the other hand, if it was deliberate then it's an even newer depth of banality.
- September 10, 2010 at 1:26 AM
And I thought the "Calvinist puppets of doom" was as good as it could get. This is much better...er, um, worse.
- September 10, 2010 at 7:39 AM
A church in my neighbourhood put "Jesus is a best friend with benefits" on their readerboard. I called the pastor right away to clue him in on what most people understand that to mean.
- September 10, 2010 at 10:09 AM
- Nârwen said...
A priest of my acquaintance wrote that while Christians are called to be in the world but not of it, trendy Christians tend to be of the world but not completely in it. I think this post and the comment before this are shining examples of what he meant.
- September 10, 2010 at 11:15 AM
- Cantor Nikolaos said...
More proof that the "relevant" contemporary deluge is an EPIC FAIL!!!
- September 10, 2010 at 11:45 PM
- Cantor Nikolaos said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- September 11, 2010 at 12:13 AM
- Cantor Nikolaos said...
For your next non-vestment photo, can you post a pic of an Allen organ in a cathedral? There is a cathedral in Charlotte, NC has a $100,000 electronic organ!!!Talk about not having any standards!
- September 11, 2010 at 12:36 AM
- Sarah Dylan Breuer said...
I'm violating one of my personal rules by commenting not on a post, but on a blog as a whole.
I think this blog has one of the best taglines ever: "It's Not About You." I love the concept, and the execution of it is sometimes truly excellent.
But if this blog were a serious source in my estimation of what vestments are and when they're significant, I'd be left with the impression that vestments are worn almost entirely by bishops and that all mitres are awful on female bishops.
Do you read PeaceBang's blogs? She does funny, pointed, and informed critiques of clergywear with a much more ecumenical and theologically reflective point of view.
FWIW, I want to encourage you to do full-throttle what the title and subtitle of your blog promises. It's a lot of labor to do that with stuff that doesn't involve, say, the Presiding Bishop. Her photo appears in obvious online stuff far more often than stuff involving truly horrible priestly vestments. But Google Image Search and social networking are powerful, and I think you could do a great deal to encourage people to think even while they're still officially "in formation" for ordination (as if formation ever stops for serious Christians!) about what vestments are for.
- September 11, 2010 at 1:34 AM
- Patricia Cecilia said...
@Cantor Nicolaos:
As a Catholic liturgical musician, I would agree that an ALLEN electronic organ is a 'bad vestment' for the sublime music of the Mass. But electronic organs are not all bad--some are excellent, indistinguishable from a pipe organ, and a better stewardship of a parish's resources. Check out Johannus Church Organs--cutting edge technology at the service of music and musicality with accurate samples from pipe organs around the world, built by people who love liturgical music, at a most reasonable cost. But Allen has been the loudest competitor in that market for a long, long time...we suffer in our diocese with a surfeit of Allens as well. (Disclaimer: I am not affiliated with Johannus, am just pleased to have used their organs in the past.)
- September 11, 2010 at 4:43 PM
Just clueless. Reminds me of when TEC offered signs that said "The Episcopal Church - We're here for you" - a slogan identical to the signs at Taco Bell.
It's astonishing that same-sex unions are considered controversial when the church has been going to bed with itself for years.
- September 11, 2010 at 9:07 PM
- Cantor Nikolaos said...
@Patricia Cecilia:
Johannus makes a line of "Monarke" organs and the sound is very good. As far as electronic organs go, I like Ahlborn-Galanti the most. I've played several Rodgers organs, some Allen organs and two Ahlborn-Galanti organs.
I hate light-up drawknobs! One good thing about Allen is they've never used them. Allen does usually have good build quality and their consoles feel ruggedly constructed. Other than that, I don't like them. I think they are overpriced and I think the sound is not as good as others. It upsets me when a pipe organ is replaced by one of these horrid things! The fools on church committees who buy these things should be ashamed of themselves.
All of these brands make good-sounding models. The success of any electronic organ depends on the installation and configuration as well as the acoustics of the room.
With that said, I think even the best electronic organ is a compromise and in most cases not a wise use of a church's money.
The electronic organ I've had the misfortune of hearing in a church I belong to (that wishes not to be named) is an especially unwise use of resources and a very unmusical abomination. There is no enthusiasm in the choir at all. They often have to beg people to come sing. Any wonder why?
Because of my lack of appreciation for this mockery of an organ and openness about my dissatisfaction, the church I belong to and I have been threatened, intimidated and harassed by the company and their local dealer.
I've also been treated abusively by the parish council president because he considers pipe organs to be a waste of money. I think basketball gyms are a waste of money. When a church has a leaking roof, a bad choir and bare walls where there should be iconography, a basketball gym should be low on our list of priorities. The construction of the gym has been accompanied with enough graft to build a new pipe organ in the gallery!
If you have to get an electronic organ, I'd get a used one in good shape, add Lexicon reverb and try to place the speakers in chambers or in a place where the sound will reach you indirectly. The sound coming out of speakers is often harsh if your are close to them.
Pipe organs can last for centuries (except in America because we live in a throw-away society and throw away many useful things). I think a pipe organ is a very wise investment for anyone who takes their music seriously.
I guess that is off-topic since the forum is about vestments, but when We celebrate the Eucharist, our vestments should be the best we can off and so should our music.
- September 13, 2010 at 1:08 AM
- Cunjo said...
This made my day!
- September 13, 2010 at 5:18 AM
- Paul Woodrum said...
It looks like the facade of a mega-church so, one, I'm guessing naivete.
It looks like the facade of a mega church so, two, I'm guessing it's the name of their Gospel rock band.
- September 14, 2010 at 9:42 AM
I guess they are not on facebook ot twitter...
Interesting organ conversation.
(side note, had trouble with the word verification thing, it did not show anuthing the first time.)
- September 17, 2010 at 9:26 PM
Just went and checked out Brian Yamambe's links,
edgey and cute?!?!?!??????
- September 17, 2010 at 9:33 PM
What Mike Baker said
- September 26, 2010 at 7:42 PM
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, over.
- October 6, 2010 at 9:25 PM
My theory is that the signs originally were displayed in reverse order (FTW!) but a tight cell of revolutionary surrealists switched them.
- October 8, 2010 at 2:48 PM
- Anthony S. "Tony" Layne said...
Didn't LOL ... but I did GMBO (giggle my butt off).
- November 7, 2010 at 1:18 AM
My erstwhile favourite Christian blogger used to have a line in t-shirts: wtfwjd?
That was excellent. This photo shows Made of Fail.
- November 24, 2010 at 9:02 AM

subset: commoncrawl


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Lara Croft to return to the big screen
Warners, Dan Lin in early development on rebootLara Croft could soon be going on a new big-screen mission.
Warners Bros. and producer Dan Lin are in early development on a a reboot of "Tomb Raider," the popular video game action franchise.
"Tomb Raider," which was published in 1996 by a London-based video game company called Eidos, was a wildly popular game that involved the daredevil archaeologist Lara Croft on a series of global missions. Several spinoff games have been published since, with a 10th-anniversary edition of the game released in 2006.
Paramount previously made the two movies based on the game, but the rights have since reverted to Eidos. When Time Warner upped its stake to 19.92% in Eidos in December, films rights to the property were included as part of the deal.
Lin will produce the project via his Lin Pictures banner while Stephen Gilchrist will co-produce; Ian Livingstone of Eidos will exec produce. Matt Reilly is overseeing for Warners. Lin is the producer behind Warners' upcoming Guy Ritchie-directed update of "Sherlock Holmes" and the adventure film "Jonny Quest."
The new project, however, is expected to revamp the character and her mission and bear little resemblance to the original pictures. It will reimagine the origins of the character, her love interest and the main villain.
As an open-writing assignment, the project is still in its nascent stages. An actress who could play the role Angelina Jolie made famous would likely come on after a writer and director are attached.
Jolie, of course, starred in the first two installments, "Lara Croft: Tomb Raider" and "Lara Croft Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life."
The first pic, which came out in 2001, grossed a whopping $275 million worldwide, while the 2003 follow-up earned a more modest $157 million.
The first pic concerned Croft's race against a secret society known as the Illuminati to find a key, while the second centered on her quest to find "Pandora's Box."


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Velvet Steel: The Joy of Being Married to You
- John Piper Author
- 2009 19 May
EDITOR'S NOTE: The following is an excerpt from Velvet Steel: The Joy of Being Married to You: Selections from the Poems of John Piper (Crossway).
All but two of these poems were written for Noël in the first forty-two years of our relationship, starting from the day of our engagement. The other two are by Noël.
Most of them are excerpts from longer poems. The reasons for not including the whole poems is that some are too long and my aim is to give tastes, not meals—tastes of one man's affections for his wife.
I put this collection together in the days immediately after writing a book on marriage called This Momentary Marriage: A Parable of Permanence. This collection of poems completes that book. What seemed to be missing there was the taste of my affections for Noël.
In fact, the point of that book was that covenant-keeping, not the affections of being "in love," is the main point of marriage. But I also emphasized that tough-minded covenant-keeping is the best soil for the long-term flourishing of tender affections. Therefore, it seemed helpful that I give some tastes of what those affections were like over the last forty-two years.
Why poetry? Because poetry helps me intensify and express feelings that cannot be captured sufficiently in ordinary language. In fact, my definition of poetry is: an effort to share a moving experience by using language that is chosen and structured differently from ordinary prose.
Being in love is a very moving experience. It is like a river that over the years has rushing currents, crashing waterfalls, deep peaceful flows, eddies that swirl with scum, windblown backward drifts, surface heavings from boulders beneath, and long clean stretches of open water.
Not even poetry can render this reality in another form. But some of us must try. It is built into us humans that we must try to express the affections of love in ways that are not like the affections themselves.
We do it with songs, paintings, sculpture, drama, novels, woodwork, flower arrangements, purchased roses, notes left on the dresser, eating out, bed-and-breakfast weekends, repairing the leaky faucet, dressing up, sexual favors, special gifts, surprise phone calls, visiting concerts, movies, museums, gardens, oceans, mountains, and a hundred other ways.
My prayer is that these small tastes of my imperfect affections will fan affections into flame—for God, for your spouse, and, in every fitting way, for all the treasured people in your life.
Marriage is a parable of something greater than itself—the covenant-keeping relationship between Christ and his church. Christ's love for his church was tough enough to keep him on the cross until our purchase was finished.
But it was also tender and warm. Already through the Old Testament prophet, God gave this expression of affection:
How can I give you up, O Ephraim?
How can I hand you over, O Israel? . . .
My heart recoils within me;
My compassion grows warm and tender.
(Hosea 11:8)
May God cause such tender shoots of affection to grow in the covenant-keeping soil of your life. May the fullness of Christ's love be known and shown in the wholeness of every marriage bond.
John Piper
To Come and Capture Me
My love for you, Noël,
will drive me to pursue
with God and you
the one pure love and unity
that God's own Son
did show in birth and death for us.
As He Cast off His glory once
to capture me,
so would I shed my freedom now
to gain
To a Diamond on Our Engagement
Dim Shadows of a brighter heart:
These nervous specks of color,
This little world of light;
These minute brilliances,
Yet they can sing!
So sing to her,
You little brilliances,
You timid colors,
You twinkling cosmos.
Sing to her!
Of God and Heaven,
Of life and Hope.
Sing to her!
Of high thoughts,
Of heart's capacities
Beyond your own crystal
Sing to her!
Of love
Of being loved
With Love more lucid than
And purely sing,
My little shadows,
And purely sing
Of me.
A Whispered Yes
Stunning sometimes to ponder
that all my future knowing
and all my future doing
will be a knowing-with and doing-for;
that you love me enough,
and love me yet,
to whisper me a Yes with your life.
She Kneeled to Be His Wife
Strength comes in all colors
even pink and purple.
I have seen Strength lie down—
like a Bulldozer.
I have seen her walk behind—
with the checkered flag.
She has given way to a feather's weight
and lifted mountains with ease.
Strength is a mystery creature
a man might give her his life.
For one, before he could reach her,
she kneeled to be his wife.
The Christian Hedonist Takes a Wife
Our God has made another way
To put his glory on display.
His goodness shines with brightest rays
When we delight in all his ways.
His glory overflows its rim
When we are satisfied in him.
His radiance will fill the earth
When people revel in his worth.
The beauty of God's holy fire
Burns brightest in the heart's desire.
I am a Christian Hedonist
Because I know that if I kissed
My wife simply because it's right,
And not because it's my delight,
It would not honor her so well.
With pleasures I will praise Noël,
And I will magnify my wife
By making her my joy in life.
So may this blazing, God-like flame
Ignite in us for his great name
A holy passion, zeal and fire
That magnify Him with desire.
I hail Him as my joy in life,
And take from his pure hand my wife.
Heartbeat the Morning of Our Marriage
Can I despise or doubt his wisdom
who, for ten thousand years,
has made of mortal men
bold conquerors of crisis,
who, from raw human trembling,
has forged finished victories?
Let him rage.
The sound of timid men fades like an echo;
only his thundering rings in history's ears.
Our Wedding Text
Habakkuk 3
Although the fig tree blossom not,
And all the vines of our small plot
Be barren, and the olive fail,
The sheep grow weak and heifers frail,
We will rejoice in God, my love,
And takes our pleasures from above:
The Lord, our God, shall be our strength
And give us life, whatever length
On earth he please, and make our feet
Like mountain deer, to rise and cleat
The narrow path for man and wife
That rises steep and leads to life.
Velvet Steel: The Joy of Being Married to You: Selections from the Poems of John Piper
Copyright © 2009 by Desiring God Foundation
Published by Crossway Books, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers
1300 Crescent Street Wheaton, Illinois 60187
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publisher, except as provided for by USA copyright law.


text:
As synthetic drugs get more complex, the methods police use to detect drivers under their influence are evolving along with them.
Evan Harrell, State Police Troop C public information officer, addressed participants in Terrebonne's DWI and Drug court Thursday on the hazards of driving under the influence of such substances.
"For a little while it didn't show up on our tests, but with new technology," Harrell said. "If I can justify it impairs you (while driving), I'm going to charge you."
Harrell said the past two years have seen a steady rise in the amount of synthetic marijuana being transported on highways such as U.S. 90.
"We are seeing large amounts as far as people moving it," Harrell said, and it is gaining ground on traditional marijuana.
Speaking on the dangers of driving under the influence of such drugs, Harrell said synthetic marijuana can cause slower reactions and harsher impairment compared to naturally grown marijuana.
"In most instances the impairment is as bad or worse," Harrell said.
Synthetic marijuana made news earlier this week in Houma when the Terrebonne Parish Narcotics Task Force arrested seven employees of two Houma businesses for selling the substance.
Agents have been purchasing synthetic marijuana from the Hippie Hole, 238 N. Hollywood Road, and Herbal Connexxxion, 6042 W. Park Ave., for the past six months, Agent Darryl Stewart told The Courier and Daily Comet. Stewart is an assistant supervisor with the Terrebonne Parish Narcotics Task Force.
Authorities said employees at Herbal Connexxxion were also making their own synthetic marijuana.
In 2010, the Legislature passed a law banning certain chemicals that were popularly used in synthetic marijuana at the time. But following the law's passage, manufactures of synthetic marijuana reformulated their substances and began reselling them using legal chemicals.
In 2011, the Legislature followed up with a new law banning entire groups of such chemicals used in the creation of synthetic marijuana, making the law much more difficult to circumvent.
The law was also intended to ban bath salts, which Harrell also spoke about during his presentation. He called them "one of the scariest drugs out there."
Judge John Walker of the Terrebonne DWI and Drug Court said there haven't been any arrests tied specifically to bath salts. But he said some participants in the drug court program have suffered devastating results.
"The damage these can cause mentally is so severe," Walker said. "In some cases they are at a point where they can't recover, and these were young healthy people."
Harrell said the effects of such synthetic drugs are hard to gauge because of the way they are made.
"They didn't test these things," Harrell said, "They put them together to make a quick buck, and those who take it suffer."
Synthetic marijuana and bath salts are not tested for human consumption, which is noted on the packages. They are sold under the guise of potpourri and regular bath salts, with their true intent never spelled out on the package.
"People take all this stuff without regard to consequences," Walker said, "They result in psychotic damage, but people are buying it up."
The presentation to drug and DWI court participants also went over the often tragic effects of driving under more traditional drugs and even drugs prescribed by a doctor.
"If it makes you loopy, do not get into a car," Harrell said.
He said prescription drugs are a particularly alarming problem because people assume if they are doctor-prescribed then they are fine to use while driving.
The presentation was part of the educational aspect of the courts' programs.
Walker said it is particularly important to educate people who have violated laws regarding driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol so they do not become repeat offenders and end up hurting themselves or someone else.


text:
A group of wildcatting construction workers are plying their trade on a small island 200 miles off the coast of Africa, where they've been hired by the Warburton Oil Company to build a base camp for the oil workers who are going to be based there. But when this cadre of extremely manly men inadvertently dig up an ancient asteroid that contains an alien energy being with the ability to possess and operate heavy machinery, they soon find themselves running for their lives from forty-nine tons of terror: the KILLDOZER!
For a story that might have been written by a couple of grade schoolers looking for new ways to menace their GI Joe action figures in the neighborhood sandlot, the 1974 made-for-TV thriller Killdozer has quite an auspicious literary history. The original short story was written by famous science-fiction author Theodore Sturgeon and published under the title "Killdozer!"* in the November 1944 issue of the similarly famous pulp magazine Astounding. It has been anthologized and reprinted dozens of times in the intervening three-quarter century, and remains Sturgeon's most famous tale, if you don't count the two Star Trek episodes he penned (which, according to Chris Sims of Chris's Invincible Superblog, both involve "Spock going batshit insane and throwing bowls of soup around") . In addition to this TV movie, the story was adapted by Marvel Comics in 1974 for what I can only assume was a Massive Media Crossover Event. (See the aforementioned Superblog for more detail on that effort.)
*The decision on the part of the filmmakers to drop the exclamation point from the title can only be called dreadfully misguided.
The trouble starts when Mack jumps into his Caterpillar D-9 to clear out some dirt near some dilapidated WWII-era barracks, and runs smack into the buried asteroid. Despite its awesome earth-moving power, the dozer can't budge the modestly sized boulder. Irritated with the delay, Kelly has Mack jump out so he can take control; but when the blade of the bull hits the rock, it releases a blast of energy that fries Mack to a crisp--though not before he sees a strange blue glow pass from the asteroid to the heavy machinery.
The death of their youngest and most popular workmate has a negative effect on the crew's morale, and Kelly doesn't help matters by cutting the beach-side funeral short and insisting they all report for work at the usual time the next morning. He further cements his asshole status when the boys pull out a bottle of whiskey--"Only one way to say goodbye to an Irishman!" Dutch reasons--and Kelly confiscates it after a few swigs. Meanwhile, Chub is concerned by the strange humming noise coming from the D-9...
You can probably see some of the narrative challenges inherent in the setup here. The cast of characters is absolutely tiny, and the lack of any female characters (and thus no recourse to the standard time-filling Romantic Interest Subplot) further limits the dramatic possibilities. Director Jerry London and Theodore Sturgeon (adapting from his own story) are therefore forced to turn the whole thing into a Foxhole Drama--a bunch of manly men, trapped in a relatively small space, waxing philosophical about life and death while the seemingly unstoppable foe stalks them from afar. (In fact, Dutch says at one point, "I'm beginning to get this, you know? Sorta like being on patrol in Viet Nam." Except with more bulldozing.)
As for that stalking foe, the Killdozer itself is actually fairly fearsome. Low angle shots of its massive steel blade bearing down on the tiny ant-like humans are well framed, even if they do get repetitive by the drama's end. It's also deceptively light on its feet--er, tracks. When Beltran loses control of the dozer and bails out, it quickly wheels on him and cuts off his escape. You'd think it'd be easy to outmaneuver a nearly 100,000 pound machine on foot, but Killdozer easily corrals the hapless construction worker and forces him toward a scrap heap. Granted, shock at the sight of a self-driving dozer may have been a factor in Beltran's immobility--but his final decision to hide from the machine by crawling into a barely shoulder-width metal culvert tube is as disastrous as it is obviously stupid. Somehow the men manage to bury him beside Mack, however--possibly by squeezing him out into the grave like toothpaste.
From there we progress at the rough pace of a death for each commercial break. Chub and his fuel truck go up in a ball of flame after an ill-timed ambush attempt, Dutch is summarily flattened, and antagonistic partners Kelly and Dennis must find a way to destroy the Killdozer, or at least stay alive until the supply ship comes in two days--no small feat, since the dozer no longer needs gas to run, can build its own roads to wherever it wants to go, and is absolutely impregnable as far as the puny non-armed humans are concerned. But then Kelly realizes it's not the Dozer they have to kill...
Most of the drama here is of the human sort, as Kelly wrestles with his need to stay in control and cynical Dennis espouses an every-man-for-himself philosophy ("You want a piece of advice?" he tells Kelly. "Never have anything you care about losing." The foreman deapans back, "As long as you're happy." Burrrrrn.) There are hints of class warfare between the brass of Warburton and the low-class workers ("Survival of the management!" Dutch complains to Chub. "Guys like you and me are expendable!") Meanwhile the simple-minded galoot Dutch is still in mourning for Mack, mixing nostalgic rememberances of his friend with good-natured non-sequiturs ("Man, that was the most crazy, beautiful kid!...Hey Dennis, did I ever tell you I played in the Cotton Bowl?") as he slowly gives in to madness.
It must be said that the relationship between Dutch and Mack, which we get a sense of mostly through Dutch's elegiac narration, is probably the most interesting part for the modern viewer--laying aside the rampaging bulldozer action, that is. I have no doubt that the two were meant to be seen as the most manly of best friends, in the sort of relationship that was common in fiction of the 40s but seems to have mostly disappeared today--and the reason for that disappearance is the rise of Homoerotic Awareness. It's hard not to chuckle when pre-cooked Mack seems uninterested in the photo of Veronica Lake Dutch slavers over, or when Dutch tells how they would have scored with some locals in a foreign port, but Mack ran in fright from the strange women, scuttling their chances. By the time Dutch meets his end en route to the beach to reenact the memory of a Mack & Dutch midnight swim--apparently one of Dutch's fondest memories, Cotton Bowl be damned--well, it's difficult to eschew a modern perspective.
Even at a lean 74 minutes sans commercials, Killdozer runs out of plot long before it runs out of time. It's helped out a little by some excellent performances by long-time character actors: Betz is great as the "sourball" Dennis, and Brand and Wainwright also manage to create interesting people out of what could easily be two-dimensional placeholders. I wasn't quite as moved by Walker's emotionless performance, but I guess if you like your Men's Man to be the strong and silent type, it could work.
That said, the final confrontation with the Killdozer is a little kid's dream come true--as the D-9 chases them toward the main construction area, Kelly and Dennis climb into the massive excavator onsite (why didn't they think of this earlier?!) to fight back. The ensuing battle reminds one of nothing more than the old T-Rex vs. Triceratops illustrations in the gradeschool dinosaur books, and was definitely a standout scene.
Still, it's hard to figure why the Killdozer mythology has had such staying power. Is it the childish fascination with the power of heavy machinery? Is it the John Henry-like struggle of man vs. machine? Or (more likely) was Sturgeon just fortunate to have coined such an instantly memorable neologism as KILLDOZER? The world may never know. But as for this cinematic adaptation, I liked it enough to recommend it softly with a 1.85 to 2 thumb rating. Your mileage may vary--depending, of course, on what you're a-haulin'.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Killdozer (1974): or, The Very Angry Caterpillar
Posted by The Vicar of VHS at 6:00 AM
Labels: '70s, 1-2 Thumbs, Aliens, Made for TV, Technological Terror
7 comments:
- Joe Monster said...
Fantastic review, Vicar! I remember reading about this movie in Jeff Rovin's "Encyclopedia of Monsters" back in middle school and I had always wondered what the film was like. Suffice it to say that your review has definitely given me an adequate taste of it so that I won't be seeking it out immediately. ;) Hilarious stuff as always, sir!
- June 11, 2010 at 1:51 PM
- Karswell said...
Hell yeah, The Dozer!
- June 11, 2010 at 11:09 PM
- Mary R. said...
I just made a couple of comments on your post about "The Strange Revenge of Rosalie" -- the creepiest film ever made!!!!
- June 16, 2010 at 5:23 PM
- venoms5 said...
I remember seeing this in the TV guide back in the early 80's, but never got around to seeing it. I wonder if it was some inspiration to King when he wrote his short story, TRUCKS?
- June 16, 2010 at 6:45 PM
- The Vicar of VHS said...
Thanks for the comments, everyone!
@Mary R.--I'll reply over there!
@venoms5--You know, while I was watching the movie I kept thinking of Stephen King's MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE, which seemed to have a similar idea but broader scope. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he was well familiar with Sturgeon's story, if not this TV movie version.
- June 18, 2010 at 8:33 AM
- Darlene said...
Holy crap, I've had nightmares about this movie since I first saw it on late-night TV when I was a kid. My mom let me stay up because I couldn't sleep and I haven't slept since!!
Seriously, I've been searching for this one for 35-plus years. Thank you!
- December 28, 2010 at 5:44 PM
- nightrider said...
good memories! I need the dvd cover! you know where you have to download?
- January 5, 2011 at 3:03 PM


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Melanie Joy's celebrated presentation on carnism and the psychology of meat-eating is finally online in its entirety. If I could have people watch or read one thing about animal rights, it would probably be this. It's about an hour long and truly worth engaging with if you've got some free time. Melanie Joy is an extremely articulate and brilliant animal, and I believe her work is at the forefront of animal liberation philosophy and practice.
I think it's important to note that in some societies meat-eating is not a choice, but truly a matter of survival. We have to discuss this carefully. Many people are frankly offensive when they talk about what "survival" does and doesn't mean in terms of food. In my experience, many folks use the word "survival" not to connote actual, literal life-and-death situations, but to justify chosen behaviors. The classic carnistic protein myth–that one needs protein to survive and that meat is the only good source of protein–is a perfect example of this. One simply needs protein to survive and, save extremely rare physiological conditions that you almost definitely don't have, one can get all of the protein they need from plants. Another good example of the faulty invocation of food-related survival is when we use words like "omnivory", a necessary practice, to refer to what is actually carnism, a set of choices and beliefs. We're calling upon the naturalist fallacy here to justify chosen behaviors and beliefs. Biologically speaking, we are not obligate omnivores. We will not die or get sick without meat. Therefore it is more accurate to refer to meat-eating as an ism or ideology, just as we do with veganism.
So when I say that some peoples use meat for survival, I don't mean folks debating whether human teeth were "made" for slicing and chomping meat and deciding in the affirmative; I don't mean the oft-spouted fallacy that we must eat meat to get all of our essential nutrients and amino acids; I don't mean various vague, often new-age, often inexplicable "intuitions" that it just feels better to eat meat and that this is the only information one should need to make ethical decisions. By "survival", I mean that a person has no other choices. Some Inuit peoples might represent an example of this: in most Arctic climates plants cannot grow, and for some traditional Inuits, it is virtually impossible to even get to locations where there is access to a larger variety of foods. Unfortunately, and absurdly, many meat-eaters use this extremely harsh survival situation to justify their first-world meat-eating. I'll draw another example from current personal experience: right now, I am a teacher for Burmese refugees and political exiles who, at times, have had to escape into the forest for long stretches with no food at all. If they come upon meat and eat it, that is survival. Survival is pre-moral because survival is not a choice and is therefore not based on beliefs and ideology.
So, to talk about both carnism and veganism, we must recognize the differences between survival and the luxury of choice.
These survival scenarios couldn't be more different from a person– like most of us reading this blog– in the "developed" world who has some level of informed choice over what they eat.
These scenarios couldn't be more different from somebody who chooses to have chickens in their front yard in Brooklyn or Boulder instead of growing a vegetable garden.
These scenarios couldn't be more different than a farmer making the choice to farm animals instead of plants.
These scenarios couldn't be more different from somebody who chooses to buy flesh or eggs instead of legumes and vegetables at the grocery store or farmer's market.
These scenarios couldn't be more different from somebody who chooses to eat locally slaughtered pigs instead of locally grown vegetable products.
I have a bias: I feel flustered and offended that such situations are framed as survival to so many meat-eaters, when there are about a billion people in the world who have no food at all, and the mass existence of non-necessary, first-world carnism is so destructive to the world and everyone's food supply at large. Let alone the fact that with the luxury of choices comes the incredible ability to enable the survival of others by not eating them.
The point is this: Basic survival is not a matter of ethics. Chosen behaviors, including most meat-eating, are. They have their roots in complex ideology. For most people, meat-eating is based on carefully-constructed, mutually-reinforcing cognitions and actions. And since most people are good people who don't want to cause unnecessary suffering, to unnecessarily eat meat requires complicated feats of cognitive dissonance. Simply put, the core identity as a nonviolent person, on one hand, and the behaviors, on the other, of most carnists don't match up. Not even the kindest person in the world can eat meat without engaging in violence. Carnists must use complicated defense mechanisms to navigate this disconnect. Those defense mechanisms become the basis of an entire ideology structured around meat-eating. This ideology, like all ideologies of the dominant culture– patriarchy, white supremacy, ecocide, capitalism, heterosexism– remains largely invisible and taken for granted.
This is, in my eyes, the core of Melanie's research and teachings: that almost all people identify, consciously or not, as non-violent people. They would generally never harm another human except in perceived self-defense; they wouldn't harm the vast majority of most nonhumans, either. They only harm those seven or eight species–out of hundreds of thousands–who fall into the tiny, culturally-constructed group of "edible animals" (in US culture, this groups consists basically of cows, pigs, lambs, a couple types of bird, and a couple fish and crustacean species. The "edible animals" group changes from culture to culture but always remains tiny.) We are compassionate, empathetic, and creative creatures, yet we make choices several times a day–some people, every time they eat–that have unnecessary suffering and death at their core; we are gentle and full of love, yet for some of us, the only contact we ever have with fellow creatures is literally as so many dead body parts on a plate. We use the ideology of carnism and its attendant defense mechanisms to maintain this disconnect. We shut down, we justify, we deny, we intellectualize, we look away, we naturalize, we objectify, precisely because we care and are good people.
Since Melanie talks about this in much more detail and with much more eloquence, you should watch the video to learn more about the intricacies of how we, as cultures and individuals, banish the realities of meat from our awareness so successfully. I think both carnists and vegans and everyone in-between will get a lot out of it.
Melanie has also recently published an illuminating article that touches on many of the issues in this blog, entitled Understanding Neocarnism: How Vegan Advocates Can Appreciate and Respond to "Happy Meat", Locovorism, and "Paleo Dieting". She breaks down the psychology, cognitive dissonance, and defensiveness behind three issues central to neocarnist ideology: compassionate carnism (humane meat), ecocarnism (carnism for ecology's sake), and biocarnism (carnism as biological imperative). She frames neocarnism as a backlash against veganism– which, in some respects, we should take as a positive sign that veganism is working as a movement. Unsuccessful movements do not inspire backlash.
Watch it. Read it. Love you.


text: I think that's Clay Matthews. Some people over here at the office think it could also be his brother Casey. But if any of you sharp-eyed readers can help us positively identify this person send it along to email@example.com. The winner gets a prize from our desk. [ESPN Nudie Issue]


text:
Range, stove top etc
I hope it's ok to post about something not completely related to bread baking.... I need some help!
We are moving from Oklahoma to Kansas next month, got a house that has an old induction type range, and we'll have the opportunity to get new appliances (range and fridge)
I am going absolutely CRAZY trying to decide what to get - I would like to finally reward myself with a professional type stovetop, but COnsumer Reports and reviews everywhere only make matters worse. It is almost impossible to decide which brand is the best, most reliable etc etc. One thing I pretty much decided: Viking is out. I heard that the company went downhill in the past 5 years, so we won't be getting one.
Of course, I intend to bake bread on a regular basis, and a good oven is a consideration - I am not interested in steam injection, just a simple, possibly convection oven.
so, I ask your input - if you had to get a new range - preferably gas, as my husband is adamant against electric stoves - which brand and model would you go for?
thanks so much!


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The Agency teamed up with Angeleno, Modern Luxury Interiors California and BMW to co-host the Architecture + Design Museum's Modern Homes: A Design Series event, which gives design aficionados exclusive access to private architectural gems. For this showing, The Agency unlocked the doors to one of its top listings, the Orlando House, a contemporary San Marino home designed by architects Richard Keating and Bonnie Khang-Keating. Guests glided across the home's travertine floors, mingled in the lush garden and lingered by the pool while enjoying bites from Tender Greens and sips from Peroni Italy. Surrounded by redwoods and koi ponds, the home was a perfect setting for the summer salon. –Photos by Vincent Vallejo


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California Department of Transportation
Date: December 6, 2012
District: 10
Contact: Ken Paglia
Phone: (209) 941-6562
Stockton - The California Transportation Commission today allocated $306 million to 44 projects that will help ease traffic congestion, improve safety, and support economic growth.
"From one end of the state to the other, transportation projects are providing jobs and improving roads, bridges, and transit for people and businesses in California," said Caltrans Director Malcolm Dougherty.
The allocations include $114 million from Proposition 1B, a transportation bond approved by voters in 2006. In total, $14.7 billion in Proposition 1B funds have been distributed statewide.
The remaining $192 million in allocations came from assorted transportation accounts funded by state and federal dollars.
Among the projects that received funding today were:
- Calaveras County - $45,000 – Arnold Rim Trail Cedar Center Bikeway Connection. Construct bicycle trail from Oak Circle to Pine Drive, improving mobility within the community of Arnold and improving connectivity with the existing Arnold Rim Trail.
Please see the attached file for information about all projects that received allocations
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Jan. 4, 2005
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico - Led by Sophomore Geof Zann's (Boca Raton, FL) wins in both the 100 and 200 meter backstroke, Yale captured the team championship at the 2005 Ira Copa Coqui Invitational. The Bulldogs scored 156 points in the 18-event meet, outscoring league rival Harvard, which finished second with 123 points. The Puerto Rico National team placed third with 56 points.
Other schools in the meet were from American University, Syracuse University, the University of Puerto Rico and The University of Sagrado Corazoni.
Zann's winning times of 1:00.85 (100 backstroke) and 2:14.29 (200 backstroke) were both meet records. Six other meet records were broken at the meet by swimmers from American, Harvard and Syracuse.
Yale concluded the meet on a very strong note by sweeping the top three places in the final individual event as freshmen Billy Rubenstein (Chestnut Hill, MA)) and Hugh Sullivan (Alexandria, VA) placed second and third behind Zann.
The Bulldogs travel to Maine for a dual meet this Sunday at noon.


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Award of Merit
**Electronic Submission Page**
Nomination Information
The Award of Merit was established in 1964 and is administered by the Awards and Honors Committee. It is the Society's highest honor.
1.1 The award shall consist of a Revere Bowl and a Certificate. The Bowl shall be engraved with the name of the awardee and the date. The Certificate shall bear the above description, the inscription of the awardee's contributions, and the signatures of the President of the Society and the Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee.
2. Purpose of the Award
2.1 The purpose of the award is to recognize that individual deemed to have made noteworthy contributions to the field of information science. Such contributions may include the expression of new ideas, the creation of new devices, the development of better techniques, or substantial research efforts which have led to further development of thought or devices or applications, or outstanding service to the profession of information science, as evidenced by successful efforts in the educational, social, or political processes affecting the profession.
3. Eligibility
3.1 Candidates for the award shall be eligible without regard to nationality, membership in the Society, or other limitation.
3.2 In cases where joint contribution has been made, a joint award may be made.
3.3 The award is a once-in-a-lifetime award.
4. Administration
4.1 The Award of Merit is sponsored by the Society-at-Large and is administered by the Awards and Honors Committee.
4.2 The Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee, in consultation with the ASIS&T President, shall appoint an Award of Merit Jury of five. All appointees are subject to approval by the ASIS&T Board of Directors.
5.1 The Jury shall solicit and receive nominations from any member of the Society or jointly by any chapter, special interest group, or other official unit of the Society. The Nominations Committee may also make nominations on its own.
5.2 The call for nominations shall appear in the February/March issue of the Bulletin of the Association for Information Science.
5.3 Nominations should be submitted electronically by July 1.
5.4 Each nomination shall be accompanied by substantial documentation which shall include the following:
(a) Name of the award for which the nominee is being considered;
(b) Name, address, and telephone number of nominee;
(c) Name, address, and telephone number of nominator;
(d) Biographical information about the nominee (education, professional history, awards, honors, publications, etc.);
(e) A one-page description of the works for which the nominee is recommended;
(f) A copy of one significant publication or similar work created by the nominee, if that contributes to an understanding of the nominee's work; and
(g) Up to five supporting letters (acceptable but not required).
5.5 It is the responsibility of the Jury to review all nominations and their supporting documentation for completeness, as described in Section 5.4. Only nominations that have fulfilled the required conditions will be considered.
5.6 If two or more nominations are received for a single individual, the Jury shall, after informing the nominators, combine and consider these as a single nomination.
5.7 Nominations are not automatically carried over from one year to the next, but a renomination may be made by reference to a prior nomination and by including updated material.
5.8 At the close of nominations, July 15th , the ASIS&T Executive Director shall send one copy of each nomination to each member of the Jury Committee.
6. Jury Committee
6.1 Four members of the Award of Merit Jury shall be appointed by the Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee to serve staggered terms of two years each. It is highly desirable to have among the members of the Jury individuals who are broadly and historically knowledgeable about the field, e.g., former presidents of the Society and long-standing members of the academic and research community.
6.2 The Chair of the Jury, the fifth voting member, shall be appointed by the Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee to serve a one-year term.
6.3 Jury members cannot be reappointed, except to serve as Chair of the Jury.
6.4 Should a juror be nominated for the Award of Merit, The Jury Chair shall notify the Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee. It shall be the responsibility of the Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee to replace that Juror and appoint a Temporary Juror. This appointment needs to be made expeditiously, and does not need the approval of the Board of Directors. The Temporary Juror shall serve until the conclusion of the ASIS&T annual meeting at which the award is presented.
7. Selection of the Awardee
7.1 Jury members shall take into account the entire record of each nominee's contributions and make their decision based upon the documentation submitted in the nomination package.
7.2 Each member of the Jury shall have one vote.
7.3 Each juror shall vote yes or no on whether any nominee shall be chosen and shall rank the nominees in order, with the first choice ranked 1, the second 2, etc.
7.4 If at least three of the five jurors vote no, that nomination shall be rejected. If less than three jurors vote no then the nominee remains among the selection group and should be ranked with the score of 1+ total number of nominees by those jurors who voted "no". The Jury Chair shall total the rankings and declare the recipient to be that nominee with the lowest total, provided the nominee shall have received two first-place votes.
7.5 In the event that no nominee can be declared the awardee, the Jury Chair shall announce the result to the Jury and repeat the poll, deleting from the list the nominee who shall have received the highest total score in the preceding poll. The polling procedure shall be repeated until a single awardee is determined.
7.6 If all nominations reviewed by the Jury are rejected a renomination process may begin by reviewing submissions of the previous year.
7.7 In the absence of qualified nominations or in the event of an uncertainty by the Jury, the award shall not be given that year.
7.8 The Jury Chair shall communicate the jury's decision to the ASIS&T President, the Chair of the Membership Committee, and the ASIS&T Executive Director by 60 days before the start of the ASIS&T annual meeting.
7.9 The Jury Chair shall provide a 50-250 word abstract, stating why the award was given. The abstract will be used to publicize the award. Material for this abstract can be taken from the voting rationales provided by members of the jury.
7.10 After selection of the awardee has been completed, the Jury Chair shall send the nomination packets and the results of jury deliberations to the ASIS&T Executive Director who shall retain them for use if a renomination is made the following year.
8. Presentation of the Award
8.1 Upon receipt of the Jury's decision, the President of the Society shall inform and congratulate the awardee and make arrangements for the presentation of the award.
8.2 The ASIS&T Executive Director shall prepare the Bowl and Certificate for the presentation of the award.
8.3 The award shall be announced and presented to the winner by the ASIS&T President, with appropriate ceremony, at the banquet of the annual meeting of the Society.
9. Publicity
9.1 The award shall be publicized through the Bulletin of the Association for Information Science and Technology. In addition, press releases will be sent to the winner's employer and other people/ agencies suggested by the winner. Publicity is the responsibility of ASIS&T Headquarters.
10. Deadlines
10.1 Appointments to the Jury committee shall be made in advance of the award year and no later than the start of the ASIS&T annual meeting.
10.2 Nominations must be submitted to ASIS&T Headquarters no later than July 1. All nominations submitted shall be acknowledged upon receipt.
10.3 Selection shall be made and the ASIS&T President, the Chair of the Awards and Honors Committee, and the ASIS&T Executive Director shall be notified by 60 days before the start of the ASIS&T annual meeting
[Approved by Board: 10/31/91][revised 5/95][revised 11/97]
Nomination Deadline
July 1


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Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom
Apollinaire Theatre Company presents:
Neighborhood 3: Requisition of Doom by Jennifer Haley
Directed by Danielle Fauteux Jacques
Special offer for Zombie fans! $10 tickets for the 8:00 show on Saturday, February 20th. Advance purchase only. Call 617-887-2336 to reserve.
In a suburban subdivision with identical houses, parents find their ****agers addicted to an online horror video game. The game setting? A subdivision with identical houses. The goal? Smash through an army of zombies to escape the neighborhood for good. But as the line blurs between virtual and reality, both parents and players realize that fear has a life of its own.
"A brilliant piece of social satire." -Broadway World
"Gripping, bizarre horror story" -Talkin' Broadway
For those whose fascination with Zombies is as indestructible as the undead themselves a drama thats both gripping and intelligent. Tribune-Review
February 12-March 14
Fridays and Saturdays at 8:00
Saturday March 6 at MIDNIGHT
Sunday matinee at 3:00 on March 14
Chelsea Theatre Works,
189 Winnisimmet St., Chelsea
Tickets are $25 in advance, $30 at the door.
Seniors 65+ & adults 30 and under,
$20 in advance (advance purchase only).
Students $15 at the door beginning one hour before performance.
(ID required at door for all ********s)
For more information visit: http://www.apollinairetheatrecompany...oductions.html
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F/V Cornelia Marie Sets Course for Discovery's DEADLIEST CATCH Once Again
-- Boat skippered by late Captain Phil Harris returns w/ Josh and Jake Harris on board --
October 4, 2010
(Silver Spring, Md.) Discovery Channel President and General Manager Clark Bunting announced F/V Cornelia Marie, the crab fishing vessel that late Captain Phil Harris called home, will return with deckhands Josh and Jake Harris to fish the icy Bering Sea as DEADLIEST CATCH begins filming its seventh season.
"Our Dad made a tremendous connection with so many fans and it is such a fitting tribute to his life that we, his sons, can remain fishing on the boat that he skippered for so many years" said Josh and Jake Harris.
Josh and Jake head to Dutch Harbor, Alaska for the beginning of king crab fishing series and the start of production on DEADLIEST CATCH in mid-October. Captain Derrick Ray, who stepped in as relief skipper last winter following Captain Phil's stroke, returns as captain along with engineer Steve Ward, and deckhands Freddie Maughtai and Ryan Simpson.
"We are excited to be once again working with Discovery Channel and Original Productions. I know Captain Phil would be happy to know the crew is back in business," said F/V Cornelia Marie principal owner Cornelia Devlin.
DEADLIEST CATCH is produced for Discovery Channel by Original Productions. Thom Beers, Jeff Conroy, Matt Renner are executive producers. For Discovery Channel, Paul Gasek and Tracy Rudolph are executive producers.
About Discovery Channel
Discovery Channel (DSC) is dedicated to creating the highest quality non-fiction content that informs and entertains its consumers about the world in all its wonder, diversity and amazement. The network, which reaches 98.1 million viewers in the US, can be seen in over 170 countries, offering a signature mix of compelling, high-end production values and vivid cinematography across genres including, science and technology, exploration, adventure, history and in-depth, behind-the-scenes glimpses at the people, places and organizations that shape and share our world. For more information, please visit www.discovery.com.
About Discovery Communications
Discovery Communications (Nasdaq: DISCA, DISCB, DISCK) is the world's number one nonfiction media company reaching more than 1.5 billion cumulative subscribers in over 170 countries. Discovery empowers people to explore their world and satisfy their curiosity through 100-plus worldwide networks, led by Discovery Channel, TLC, Animal Planet, Science Channel, Planet Green, Investigation Discovery and HD Theater, as well as leading consumer and educational products and services, and a diversified portfolio of digital media services including HowStuffWorks.com. For more information, please visit www.discoverycommunications.com.


text: Loyola University Maryland congratulates Class of 2014 May 17, 2014 | By Nick Alexopulos International business major Ixchel Ochoa (center) celebrates on stage at the Baltimore Arena after her name is announced. More than 1,200 students officially became the Class of 2014 at Loyola University Maryland's 162nd Commencement Exercises on Saturday, May 17, at the Baltimore Arena in downtown Baltimore. All told, 864 undergraduates and 339 graduates received diplomas during the ceremony. Kasey Seymour, who received a B.B.A. in International Business, delivered the student address and encouraged her classmates to embrace the challenges that come with accomplishing something exceptional. She was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at age 4, was told by doctors that she wasn't likely to live to 21, and now is a leading voice in the national effort to raise awareness about the disease and ultimately find a cure. "Our goals will be as diverse as our visions, but make no mistake: Loyola has given us the tools. It's now up to you and me to use them to their fullest potential," said Seymour. "It is the determination of each of us that will distinguish Loyola grads from everyone else: the drive to not accept that which we know is wrong, unsatisfactory, or anything less than our best." The Class of 2014 is the first to apply to, be admitted to, matriculate into, and spend four years studying at Loyola University Maryland, which changed its designation from Loyola College in Maryland in fall 2009. Collectively, the undergraduates in this class exemplify the ideals of Loyola's Jesuit mission by excelling in and out of the classroom and devoting time, energy, and imagination to improve the lives of those who are less fortunate. Many of these students have chosen careers focused on service; 31 are enrolled in full-time post-college service programs and 26 will move to Thailand to teach English. Numerous individual accolades and awards have already defined the determination of this class. Most recently, chemistry major Christian Lewis won a Fulbright to study atmospheric gases that impact global climate. In 2013, Kevin Seltzer, a physics and mathematics double major, received a prestigious Goldwater Scholarship for excellence in the sciences, and computer science major David Christo won scholarships from Google and NASA in 2012. Flora Zambakari and Kevin Molyneux each won a Gilman Scholarship to fund study abroad experiences last year. Vanessa Gailius and Nahal Sadegh were awarded William Jefferson Clinton Scholarships to study in Dubai. This class is accomplished in athletics as well. Dylon Cormier, who played guard on the men's basketball team, is considered one of the top players in program history. He will graduate as the seventh all-time leading scorer with 1,659 points. Midfielder Marlee Paton is the first Loyola women's lacrosse player to post 100 goals, 75 assists, 200 points, and 100 ground balls in her career; she led the Greyhounds to four straight NCAA tournaments. Men's lacrosse defenseman and co-captain Joe Fletcher was named 2014 Patriot League Defensive Player of the Year and Patriot League Men's Lacrosse Scholar-Athlete of the Year, and he was also nominated for the Tewaaraton Award, which recognizes the top player in college lacrosse. Fletcher and 10 of his senior teammates helped the Greyhounds win the 2012 NCAA lacrosse national championship. Now students in this decorated class are ready for the next chapter of their lives. "Maybe we do not know exactly what job we want to end up in or where we will be in five years, but Loyola has instilled in us the values to push ourselves to find where we are meant to be," said Kim Porfido, senior class president. "It has prepared us to channel our faith in the face of the unknown, to always have a thirst for knowledge, to discern about what brings us joy, to search for where our gifts and talents are needed in the world, and to value the journey along the way." In his commencement address, speaker Mark K. Shriver, senior vice president for strategic initiatives and senior advisor to the CEO of Save the Children, urged the new graduates to accept the invitation from God to make God the central part of their being. "If you do, you're going to find joy," Shriver said. "No, you won't be happy every minute of every day, and such faith won't necessarily make you rich and famous. But it will bring you joy." Shriver went on to explain that his late father, R. Sargent Shriver, embraced faith and joy every day of his life, evident in the instrumental role he played in the creation of the Peace Corps, the Job Corps, and Head Start. Shriver asked the graduating class to serve those in need through similar acts of hope and love. Loyola honored Shriver with The President's Medal during the ceremony. At Loyola's 1994 commencement, Shriver, his parents and siblings were honored with a Doctor of Humane Letters, honoris causa. Other honorees included the Reservoir Hill Improvement Council, a Baltimore neighborhood organization that received Loyola's Milch Award for its unwavering commitment to the community. Mary Catherine Bunting, Mount Saint Agnes College '64, received the John Henry Newman Medal for her lifelong advocacy for global peace and justice and her support for Loyola, which includes her 2013 gift of $1.75 million to create a peace and justice studies program. Ed Hanway, '74, and his wife, Ellen, received honorary degrees for their decades of investments in Loyola through inspirational leadership and financial commitments. Mr. Hanway's term as chair of Loyola's Board of Trustees ends this spring. "As you take the education you've received at Loyola and go into the world, remember that this education brings with it a responsibility to improve your community, and our world. As you begin this next chapter, I encourage you to consider not just what is in your best interest, but also what is in the interest of those most in need," said Loyola President Rev. Brian F. Linnane, S.J. "Think of the opportunity you have over your lifetime to transform the world into a richer and more beautiful version of the one we know today. By recognizing the potential that lies within each person, you can help realize God's vision for all of his people." As she closed her speech, Seymour reminded her fellow graduates that, as alumni poised to make their mark from coast to coast and in countries all over the world, they can always look to each other for strength. "Although we leave today as individuals, we will always have a shared experience and an unbreakable bond."


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Attendance Chair: Jon Gunderson Scribe: Jim Allan Present: Kitch Barnicle David Poehlman Harvey Bingham Gregory J. Rosmaita Madeleine Rothberg Tim Lacy Denis Anson Eric Hansen Dick Brown Regrets: Ian Jacobs Mark Novak Absent: Mickey Quenzer Charles McCathieNevile Rich Schwerdtfeger Al Gilman Hans Riesebos Action Items Open Action Items 1.IJ: Draft a preliminary executive summary/mini-FAQ for developers. (No deadline.) 2.CMN: Propose a technique that explains how serialization plus navigation would suffice for Checkpoint 8.1. 3.GR: Look into which checkpoints would benefit from audio examples in the techniques document. New Action Items 1.Editors: Update document based on MR proposal for control and configure and the resolutions made during this telecon 2.Editors: Cross reference 4.8 and 4.10 and make clear that checkpoint 4.8 for non-syntheisized speech audio 3.GR: Research history of the priority of checkpoint 4.8 on audio volume 4.EH: Propose new definitions for control and configure Completed Action Items 1.WG: Read Madeleine Rothberg review of the UAAG related to control and configure and re-read the guidelines document subsituting control for configure (except in Guideline 10). http://lists.w3.org/Archives/Public/w3c-wai-ua/2000AprJun/0354.html Minutes PR#284: Consistent use of the words "control" and "configure" in checkpoints http://cmos-eng.rehab.uiuc.edu/ua-issues/issues-linear.html#284 JG: mr reviewed control & configure, control is set dynamically, configure is set up before, control is short term configure is persistent some want both when a control is set it can become permanent. set parameters before something starts (playback rate in video) mr most check points can be control jg says use control for all, then have configure option in gl10-default user configuration EH: what is wrong with mr definitions? DB: mr seems reasonable JG: people like distinction DB: yes DA: important, some things need to be configured. mr analysis was good tl: DP: if you want both then say both EH: key thing, if priorities are same, then need to be accurate with priorities. if difference between control and configure priority then match checkpoint priority. would be nice if mr would look at need for control and configure in checkpoints. unease with locking in developers to tightly JG: control and configure size of text. make it 2 checkpoints? need minimum requirement for priority 1 items 10.7 save in profile (p2) control is p1 configuration is p2 but can be seen as part of 10.7 --last control setting will be saved as configuration HB: be careful, that last font was not for header but for normal text size. JG: if setting only header then it should be persistent for headers. don't have a range for control of font sizes. group has tried for other checkpoints. DA: don't always want last setting GR: set UA to reuse last setting, or retain old settings, JG: may be techniques, different OS may need different techniques - ij example of editing initialization file. DA: what you want with configuration-this is the way I want this to behave, need reset to default, last use may be special case, don't want it to be default automatically. EH: need many ways to set configuration HB: in techniques have pointers to style sheets EH: don't over proscribe what configuration means, unless all agree DA: looking at priorities, control vs. configure, need to look at individual checkpoints to evaluate. mainly for control and configure are both important JG: mr identified 3 cp for control and config. size of text, volume control/config size of text both p1? MR: yes, checkpoint delineates JG: is it impossible for some users to access content. MR: p1 for one or the other JG: p1 for control, need it dynamically config is for things that are difficult MR: depends on what web authors are doing GR: cognitive load for control is less than for config DA: I think its opposite. config is set once and not worry JG: when set control should be persistent for all pages in session DA: look at things that require control of, may take 30 minutes to set up DP: but may never use synthesized speech JG: 10.7 not impossible GR: opera persistent control of images don't champion one over the other, EH: back to 4.1 control and config size of text. both p1 GR: yes, application in real world, config assumes UA source is properly marked up, client side CSS. if marked up differently then personal CSS doesn't affect page, then I need local control. JG: 4.1 in IE need to use two controls, JA: IE control font dynamically, but must have "ignore font size" configured Resolved: Checkpoint 4.1 is p1 for both control and configure. JG: control configure for audio rate- p1 GR: yes DP: yes MR: question for screen reader- have configure for rate, but not dynamic (control) rate DP: starting to have control for rate. GR: also starting to have control for punctuation - change dynamically HB: change in middle of document GR: yes, if working in IE and note pad, and change DA: isn't this p2, don't have to have control DP: talking about rate not punctionation, need quick way to fix rate problems, and a way to make it persistent, need both, so it is p1, config is a global setting, there are times that rate needs to be adjustable quickly depending on the task JG: webspeak has control of rate, hpr may have control also, both have configure. GR: not just a blind issue, low vision users, second language people DA: no problem with control and config JG: p1 for both control and config audio rate DP: public ally available speech synthesis, have little or no control. such as Microsoft agent give audio but no control. important that we show developers that control is necessary . EH: over time we get an understanding about what is a p1, etc. key point is apply same standard across all guidelines, don't front load everything just because we like it. implementation becomes difficult, if can only implement 50% then which are most important GR: I get lots of requests for setting up user work stations in public settings. lots of people use public terminals, they are looking into ADA compliance, must have control JG: first level is what is needed by pwd, spent much time working on priorities. few statements about priorities during last call, don't see much trouble with priorities in document. have pretty good consensus. EH: no problem with p1 HB: reset to default, should that be a technique GR: yes JG: user may not have access to that. has been dealt with before. good for technique for public access terminals. Have checkpoints to restore to default 10.7 p2 Resolved:Checkpoint 4.9 is p1 for control and configure JG: 4.7 config and control audio volume p1 DP: control is p1, similar to reasons for rate JG: what about hearing impaired MR: hadn't thought about it. if no text with only speech then it is relevant. DA: with synthesized speech isn't synthesizer with client. JG: if using telephone, synthetic speech is in host EH: control and configure for 4.10 is p1 JG: yes DA: would set home terminal for something I can hear, public terminal may have default median volume DP: synthesizers without front end from the author have not control. synth interperts the markup and outputs, if no markup for control of volume then no control. DA: is an imbedded object GR: acss have aural properties (lists properties), many things built into w3 spec JG: control is p1, what about config? GR: config, most screen readers use sound card cannot set volume through screen reader, must use OS JG: can control volume through sapi, actual volume is sapi, master control, and manual speaker volume GR: is this a case where OS control covers all audio control JG: this is a technique, dependent on OS, control must be accessible GR: ok JG: gr is config as important and control GR: I lean that way JG: note that for regular audio, 4.8 talks about audio volume (not speech) this is a p2, mr recommended p1 for control and configure. other audio events must have text equivalents EH: language used in regard to audio, depends on how terms are used. 4.8 audio is a generic term, includes synth. speech JG: long discussion on this EH: need to define better, prerecorded vs. synthesized, discuss in exactly DP: syn. speech is a special case of audio DA: syn. speech may need special control, different from general audio GR: control is situational. JG: is config a p1? DP: should be same as rate. same situations, need same type of control and config--should be p1 JG: objections? DB: situations where you can configure but not control makes it impossible to use. JG: if volume is so low that a person with hearing problem cant hear it then can JG: most systems provide config but not control DB: talking about UA not AT, GR: if they choose to do this then these are the parameters DB: I know it is not hard to do, little uneasy about it being impossible to use thus requiring a p1 JG: it is a present value, was reviewed as a p1, no comments during review process. DB: I can live with it. not positive that it meets the impossible rule. can imagine many scenarios for all GL that can make all be a p1 JG: many public access computers, allow users to configure. set up a system, so individual profiles follow person around. then can config. DB: if you log in than your last used profile DP: if you cant log in then must be able to config/reset values DB: cant control because you cant hear it JG: system volume, get back to default value. argue about different situations where config or control is better or more needed. similar to speech playback--volume and rate are important for hearing impairment. DB: can live with it, move on Resolved :4.10 control and config p1 rest are p3. also add control and configure to 4.8 as a p2 MR: already a p1 need for text equivalent. must have p2 to control and config audio volume GR: if have page playing midi file, plays at a volume that cant hear synthesizer. OS control globally controls all volume. ability to control volume should be p1 DP: should be p1 JG: address both now DA: if config/control speech is p1 then this can be p2 GR: cross reference 4.10 and 4.8 add note "if user agent supports sny speech natively then changes in audio volume should be independent of syn speech volume" JG: minimum requirement that volume controls are independent. EH: sounds fine to me JG: how do I know when I comply. group working on this. 4.8, 4.11 independent control, two type of minimum requirements--provide structured navigation-minimum things are defined, another type is provision of a range - such as change rate KB joins don't have range for audio (hardware limitations). syn speech playback rate was specified - use default of synthesizer else offer a range EH: on 4.8 divergence on priorities. p1 control, p2 config. JG: need action, why 4.8 is p2, check archives Action GR: why 4.8 is p2, will post to list GR: recollection, speech is p1 and audio is p2 is for reasons stated, audio overwhelms synth. speech. EH: need to define that 4.8 is non synth. speech. or audio other than synthesized speech with pointer to 4.10 Action Editors: cross reference 4.8 and 4.10. Resolved: independent control of synthetic speech and audio volume. Action Editors: 4.8 indicate non-synthesized speech audio. JG: combine volume control for audio and synth speech. must have independent control as a minimum GR: originally 4.8 was turn on and off background audio. JG: have separate check point for that adopt mr proposal Resolved: Use the rest of MR proposal for changing the wording of control and configuration checkpoints Action EH: Propose new definitions of control and configure. 2.PR#283: Delete checkpoint 10.4 Allow the user to change the input configuration. http://cmos-eng.rehab.uiuc.edu/ua-issues/issues-linear.html#283 JG: Checkpoint 10.4 currently does not have any clearly identified minimum requirements. Its minimum requires seem to satisified by other checkpoints: 1.We already have a requirement that all functions be accessible through the keyboard (1.3) 2.We say to use system conventions (5.8) 3.Allow single key or command configuration (10.5) 4.Configuration of graphical controls (10.9) 5.Saving custom and restoring default configuration information (including keyboard bindings) are in checkpoint 10.7 What additional functionality does checkpoint 10.4 add that can be put in a minimal requirement for satisfying the checkpoint? We need just one requirement of a minimal specification to satisfy the checkpoint that is not covered somewhere else. NOTE: I would modify the minimum requirement of 10.5 to include either single key or modifier + single key for configuration of systems with keyboards. This would generalize 10.5, but still provide the single key functionality for those that want just a single key. EH: for 10.5 need to describe minimum requirements. so many steps. define functionalities. JG: all things that need control need keystrokes. part of minimum spec for 10.5 EH: is there language for 10.5 minimum requirements. they are posted for Netscape. JG: I will look and post something. 10.5 is next issue. KB: jg turning in 508 comments JG: yes EH: are you KB KB: yes have lots of work Jon Gunderson, Ph.D., ATP Coordinator of Assistive Communication and Information Technology Chair, W3C WAI User Agent Working Group Division of Rehabilitation - Education Services MC-574 College of Applied Life Studies University of Illinois at Urbana/Champaign 1207 S. Oak Street, Champaign, IL 61820 Voice: (217) 244-5870 Fax: (217) 333-0248 E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com WWW: http://www.staff.uiuc.edu/~jongund WWW: http://www.w3.org/wai/uaReceived on Thursday, 25 May 2000 16:24:21 UTC
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