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Friday, December 12, 2008
Shutdown: A Specific Type of Meltdown
Technically, there aren't too many differences between meltdowns and shutdowns. Both are extreme reactions to everyday stimuli. Both tend to be the result of long term unresolved issues rather than the more obvious triggers and both are almost completely out of the control of the aspie rather than being used by children and adults as a means to an end - that would be either a tantrum or emotional blackmail.
Some aspies are more prone to meltdowns while others lean more towards the shutdown model. It's possible to do both but this depends greatly on the root cause of the problem.
I think that there's a bit of a personality component to the reaction with aspies who are more sure of themselves or more fiercely independent leaning towards meltdowns rather than shutdowns but again there's a wide variance depending upon the feelings brought on by the trigger. Some events can make even the most confident of aspies doubt themselves.
What Exactly is a Shutdown?
While a meltdown could be described as rage against a situation, a meltdown tends to be more of a retreat.
Behaviours which manifest during a shutdown include rolling oneself into a ball or foetal position, crawling under objects or lying face down or completely under the covers on a bed. Gaze avoidance tends to increase significantly during a shutdown and conversation is non-existent.
As with meltdowns, in a shutdown situation, the aspie may act irrationally or dangerously. Unlike a meltdown however, the harmful activities are almost always directed at oneself.
The aspie may attempt self harm and may even be suicidal. They may be more likely to take reckless risks such as walking along a busy road on a dark/rainy night.
As with meltdowns, the cause of a shutdown tends to be culmulative and the trigger may bear little resemblance to the actual problem.
The real problems associated with shutdowns tend to lean towards depression, lonliness poor self image and poor self worth.
In a small child, a shutdown may be triggered because of a simple breakfast issue (perhaps they were given something they don't like). In this case, the cause may actually have nothing to do with breakfast at all but rather it may be symptomatic of the child's frustration at not being able to make herself understood.
In an adult, shutdowns can result from extreme events such as losing a job or a marriage break-up but they can also have very small triggers which simply "remind" an aspie of a larger pain. Perhaps a small incident at work could provoke some long term insecurities and cause a retreat.
What Do Shutdowns Feel Like?
Since these are extremely rare for me, I'm probably not the best person to answer the question but I'll try.
For me, a shutdown will move my pain to the center of my focus and I'll start thinking "what if" and "if only" scenarios. These are always counter-productive because you can't change the past and they usually only make me feel entrapped by events.
I'm not so much of a foetal position person - I tend to collapse into a heap instead. During a shutdown, I'll generally not have any contact with anyone but I do still hear voices.
As a child I'd often try pathetic ways of self termination, like holding my breath or strangling myself. Note that I didn't do this as attention-seeking behaviour but instead would attempt it unannounced and in solitude. I'd also attempt self harm but usually only by banging my head or pummeling myself with my fists. I know quite a few aspies who have, and in many cases continue to, self harm using sharp instruments. As a parent or friend, you need to keep a close eye on these situations.
I think I've only had two shutdowns in my adult life and in both cases there was no danger during the actual shutdown period but afterward, when I was moving around, my behavior was reckless and could have been self-destructive (depending on chance factors).
The "Cure"
Like all aspergers things, there's not really a cure however self-respect goes a long way towards prevention. If you have children, it's very important to counter any negative messages they're receiving from others. If those negative messages are coming from teachers or family, then you may need to get involved yourself.
Unlike meltdowns, where it's best to leave the aspie alone but in a safe place, it's generally ok to talk in a soothing voice during a shutdown. Just make sure that you're careful what you say and keep things positive. The only thing to remember when soothing during a shutdown is that you're still dealing with a person on the spectrum. Don't try to force eye contact and don't touch without either being invited or being cautious to see the reaction frst.
52 comments:
The "shutdown" -- this sounds like what I did last night. Making mountains out of molehills, it was triggered by an event that reminded me of numerous events in the past. Plus I've been stuck in the house with sick kids for two weeks in a row. That probably didn't help.ReplyDelete
Actually my shutdowns seem to be quite different from yours, more of a disassociation like I'm floating over my body. I lose the ability to speak (mouth goes numb, can't get word outs, can't think), and I just want to be left alone in a dark room.At this time, I am able to block out a lot of sensory information like i've turned a switch off. If someone kept talking at me, I think I'd be upset but unable to express it and unable to understand much of what they said. I rock in a corner mostly or crawl into a fetal position, so from the outside it looks the same as the meltdown you describe. But I have never had any suicidal or self-harming thoughts during this time.ReplyDeleteReplies
My shut downs resemble yours. It's not a good idea to speak to or be around me during a shut down, as it's a way for me to totally block sensory information that's overwhelming me. I also can't speak during a shut down. I've also never self harmed while shut down. I have in the aftermath of a meltdown though, in a period which vaguely resembles a shut down but isn't a legitimate one.Delete
Yes,this is more like my shut downs! I lose the ability to function. Can't speak. I even feel like my balance is off. People speak, but I can't comprehend what they are saying . lights get brighter, noises get louder.feels like I'm on some weird roller coaster.Delete
- AnonymousMarch 25, 2018 at 9:32 AM
This is like mine as well! Everything gets distorted, and brighter, people's faces distort, I can hear words but don't understand them, and I just stare blankly. At 41, most people think I'm still listening, and continue talking. It's like a switch is flipped in my brain, and nothing makes sense until I take a significant amount of time to shut myself up in my room and live in my mind for a while.Delete
Meep, it sounds like your shutdown is closer to the classic shutdowns. As I said before, I'm really not the best person to describe them because I'm far more likely to meltdown than shutdown.ReplyDelete
I'm not an officially diagnosed Aspie, but I have many of the traits. Throughout my life I have had many Shutdowns. Still, at 26, I experience them. I isolate completely, curl in a fetal position under lots of blankets and wish the world to stop for just a moment long enough to sort out my thoughts. Or, sometimes its more like you mentioned, the "what if's," the "coulda, shoulda. woulda" type things. Staring blanking. I tend to be more of a shut down type person rather than a meltdown. I only remember a few instances when I was young and in my teens where I actually had meltdowns. Just now, after 18months of therapy have I started to realize my reactions... I still do it, but am able to recognize it and ask for help. It's hard work.ReplyDelete
Also, as a side note, I want to thank you for sharing all this with us, your blog has been so helpful to me. Whether I am Aspie or not (Bipolar is also up in the air), I've been able to identify with a lot of what you write and it is so helpful.
It is hard to put things like that in words, but you seem to have done it. A similar thing happens to me sometimes. Always has. Quoted this article on my site. Hope that is ok. Thanks.ReplyDelete
i have been reading your blog, very interesting. some great insights. this post stuck out to me quite a bit, as I don't have aspergers, but my husband never gets why when we are in a crowded place I just shutdown, or when the house gets so loud and the tv is too loud and the kids are screaming, I pretty much lose it, kind of my own melt downs but ...man...some interesting information.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousFebruary 4, 2009 at 10:42 AM
Wow, it's so good to hear that im not the only one. I tend towards shutdowns, and when I was a child, I tended to bang my head or pull my hair, but not cut myself. Now im 20, and still having shutdowns (am technically having one atm, and typed "aspie dealing with sadness" to come up with your blog and thanks, it's really helped me!) but now it's mainly crying and not wanting to see anyone, apart from my parents, yet still feel alone. I used to unexplainedly as a child get out of bed for no reason at all, sit against the wall hugging my knees and cry. Could you perhaps spare any insight into this?ReplyDelete
Gavins on the right track but mine are more severe. The meltdown for me is pure rage (the aspie side has associated boundaries if I break it I'll have to pay for it later so don't). The shutdown is much much worse.ReplyDelete
It can be triggered by a simple comment (think of Waterboy's trigger). I'll play it over and over again in my head, cross reference it with previous comments and catastrophise the situation. I then go to a very "dark" place with whats the point of it all. I then look for opporunistic suicides. If i drive into this lane that truck will do the job real quickly. stuff like that. (The bad thing, nobody can tell whats going on inside, I am numb with no body language or outward emotion).
But I have now devised a transcendence coping mechanism. When my whole world is spiralling out of control, I stop, find a quiet place (neutral ground/location) and clear my mind through meditation/appreciation. This then takes the edge off. I have then found with the edge removed and focus not on myself if I do a kindness for someone else I get the warm fuzzies. Psych theory through Goleman writes that you counter the emotion with its opposite. happy-sad, anger-peace etc.
For us in simple terms, its like a petulant child thats just been smacked... the pendulum swings wildly.
A word though, this is a purely internal thing and the motivation can only come from that person. If its external, it'll make it worse (unless they specifically ask for it).
Just my experience with it.
Sorry for the secon post but your guys asked a questionReplyDelete
The foetal position is a self comforting thing. The rocking is the next progression. You will find the the rock matches the heart rate and bodies natural rythym. It's comforting to the next level.
- AnonymousJune 8, 2009 at 12:37 PM
can a shut down last for multiple days? the last thing my asplie friend said to me was "i love you" as he was walking away from me (not looking at me, not turning back) and it's been 5 days and he has not replied to my emails and he is on line on a chat program and he's not replying to my attempts to chat.ReplyDelete
It certainly is possible for a withdrawal to last a few days but it's unlikely that a shutdown in the proper sense of the word could.ReplyDelete
A withdrawal which lasts several days suggests to me that there is more to it. The person could be experiencing depression or there may be other issues.Replies
I get a meltdown hangover of about 3 days, and my shutdowns can indeed last days, or longer, I found. The initial shutdown is followed by a lesser, extended period of what can feel like a ghastly zombiehood. This feeling can also build up into a meltdown followed by sleep. Depression is an intersection indeed.Delete
I wrote a while back on my blog my thoughts about Aspergers and Meltdowns. I think everyone with Aspergers is unique in how they melt down and what can be done to help them in that state.ReplyDelete
i just found your blog and am finding it extremely helpful and informative overall. (color me most-likely-AS-definitely NLD--but as yet undiagnosed.) i'm seeing myself in post after post.ReplyDelete
i've heard previously about shut-downs, but i think some of the information was incomplete. i did suspect that the times when i simply curl up and fall asleep--this in response to overwhelming changes usually--are a form of shutdown. i didn't realize that the difficulty with getting out words/going silent had to do with shutdown as well. (i always assumed it was just a personal quirk. funny how so many of these are explained by various AS traits.:)
thank you so much for the information--for the blog in general.
What Exactly Is A Shutdown?ReplyDelete
While a meltdown could be described as rage against a situation, a meltdown tends to be more of a retreat.
P.S. You have my permission to break your rule and delete my post even though it doesn't name names etc :P
I sleep alot.Being overstimulated leaves wounds and nothing can heal them.ReplyDelete
I lay underneath my weighted blanket and keep away from the threat that started the explsion within myself.Then my thoughts whirl around like a tornado around and around.I can't sooth myself I'm paralized by it.
Like the kind meep has posted.
I hide in myself and in my room dark also.I cry and tire myself out like a babys often does.
I'm not sure the diffrence between meltdown and shutdown.
But thanks for helping me understand myself all of you.
This some bad helpers don't take seriously enough to leave me alone.
- AnonymousMay 26, 2010 at 9:47 AM
The post by "meep" almost exactly describes my shutdowns. Unability to speak, extremely slow thought, sensory perception goes down to a minimum, like the world went quiet. Nothing but an empty pain, like concentrated depression weighting you down. After a while, I could at least whisper. Eventually I could slowly sit up, and slowly the world starts coming back to me, and eventually it's all gone, except for the bitter taste.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJune 9, 2010 at 2:09 AM
I start out with the triggering moment feeling like I am going to fall, and I have intense pressure in my chest and solar plexus. I feel I am dying and I can't breathe. I imagine killing myself to get away from the pain, then close down. I feel like I am a dead person in a body. They always pass but when I am in it, it seems permanent. I stop talking and interacting and it takes a long time to get back, but a loving touch or a kind word from someone I love can start to bring me out of it. I did not get diagnosed until I was in my early 60's. It's been a long strange journey. Thank you for this great site.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJune 9, 2010 at 2:13 AM
I wanted to add, that when I was a child, I used to have internal meltdowns, because I was not allowed to show emotions. So I would wait until I was alone then slap my face, pinch myself or pull my hair. I thought I was mad...never had any help. I remember not being able to speak and being punished for that in school.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 17, 2010 at 3:15 PM
I tend to beat the hell out myself.ReplyDelete
2yrs & 3mos ago, diagnosed as borderline-schizoid PD. I agree BPD but not SPD. Still have questions until I found SPD is like Aspergers. All traits of it answers the questions about me. I'm not confirmed because Doc said aspergers are retarded.ReplyDelete
I have shutdowns like meep. When I'm overstimulated, I tend to shutdown most times. Before, I meltdown in my room. I'm self-destructive. I punch walls, hit my head & body against walls. After the rage, I shutdown, I get so exhausted. I get sleepy then I fall asleep. Now, I am not allowed to self-destruct, so I mostly just shutdown though most times I want still want to punch. It makes me feel alive & I feel no pain but only later. (I've been off meds for a yr & 7mos now, Doc says I don't need them, I only need to "change".)But I recently have been having more meltdowns out in the open (& I mean where I'm not alone) & I kinda like it better. Cos when having my shutdowns or meltdowns alone w/o people around, no one is there to help me and I fail to tell or let my counselor know/see my misery. Cos if in the open, she can see me. Sadly, she rarely/barely sees/knows when I'm having a shutdown. She only sees me with it if she pays attention or look after my every move and she'd make a remark, "You seem to be looking frail."
I tend to have meltdowns when things are really too much already & I couldn't hang on any longer or suppressing isn't helping anymore & solitude cannot wait or unavailable. Though after a meltdown, I shutdown even in front of people because I'm exhausted already. I get too quiet & slow mentally & physically like walking or picking up things. When I have my meltdowns, I like it when my counselor is there to the rescue because only in meltdowns can I get a touch/hug/embrace from her. In regular days, I am only up to wishing she would embrace me even in "almost-shutting-down" times. Even feeling depressed times. & now I think she seemed to now show disinterest on me. I think I have tire her. I think she doesn't like me anymore. I think she has other people needing more of her attention than mine even though my Doc tells me she's giving me special treatment/special attention but I don't believe because I seem to be treated less than special, less than normal by her. Treated very exceptional & I mean that she doesn't treat me like the "others" like e.g. a hug. I am, I guess, the most problem person in our church of only 200 members.
Btw, she's my computer teacher 11 yrs ago, a Sunday school teacher, a bible study leader, one of the pastors in our church, my counselor, a friend.
I'm sorry about my last parts of my sharing. I've been down since getting overstimulated and shutting down 5 days now. & it seems I've lost my counselor/best friend now after she told me that we stop meeting until 2 months later because she thinks I'm clingy after giving her bad remarks & frequently getting angry at her. & sometimes I think she may not be liking my emotions/meltdowns out in the open. The "2 months" was up a month ago. But I really think I lost her now. She doesn't understand me though she thinks she does. & I'll always be a loner. I guess I'm just too incompatible with people.
& now I can't wait to leave my hometown. So I will no longer see the people here. Still wishing to find people who understand me and can really help me and whom I can hug without me always asking for it and just receive a NO.
& I despise myself.
My comment is hereReplyDelete
Says because it's too large.
- AnonymousMarch 24, 2011 at 8:15 AM
Wouldn't it be good to actually let a minor shutdown happen before you collapse? I mean, if you are overstimulated/sad, then withdrawing is actually a good thing. Of course that demands recognizing when you need to withdrawn before it overwhelms you.ReplyDelete
I do not have Asperger's - but I have been said to have "several traits of the syndrome". I am in the NT range, but too weird for an NT sometimes. So there, I had those overwhelming sadness incidents, during which I was an awful person. It wasn't actually depression, because after I've slept throught the night, I felt fine again, like a computer after a reset. After such an incident I usually was able to tell what triggered it. Unfortunately, not before...
Last time I figured it out before I've melted into a pile of tears, I closed my eyes and fell half-asleep for about a half an hour. Not really sleeping, not thinking or feeling, just resting. Strangely, it helped. I woke up feeling all right again.
- AnonymousJanuary 21, 2012 at 6:53 PM
My shutdowns occur when I am overstimulated and cannot find escape.ReplyDelete
Often shutdowns are triggered by long discussions on the same subject. I lose topic thread and then conversation begins to feel like a never-ending labyrinth. These lengthy conversations are painful and I find them both physically and emotionally exhausting for me.
When efforts to stop my pain fail, shutdowns are a guaranteed escape. I crawl beneath my heaviest covers sobbing. Rocking in the fetal position, I suck my thumb until I sleep.
My shutdown serves as my emotional reboot.
- AnonymousJanuary 24, 2012 at 5:56 AM
Nothing triggers a shut down in me more reliably than being brow beaten or otherwise emotionally abused by someone who despises, resents, or otherwise wants to "attack" my ASD. Most commonly it's my wife, in a few rare cases it's been others. What a horrible thing, I nearly jumped into an ice cold river yesterday. Typical such suicidal thoughts exit quickly. As much as I am downtrodden in an ill advised marriage situation (I am an Aspie who either never should have married or who ought to have been incredibly picky), I have a solid moral fibre and realise suicide would jeopardise my life insurance pay out. Lord come take me.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJanuary 26, 2012 at 5:14 AM
From Anonymous: "My shutdowns occur when I am overstimulated and cannot find escape.ReplyDelete
Often shutdowns are triggered by long discussions on the same subject. I lose topic thread and then conversation begins to feel like a never-ending labyrinth. These lengthy conversations are painful and I find them both physically and emotionally exhausting for me."
I am right there with you! This totally me! In just the past week, my husband and I believe I have Aspergers. All the online tests I've taken have me high on the scale. I'm trying to find someone to officially diagnose me now.
He is going thru prescription drug withdrawls right now and is very emotionally needy. He's trying to find his fix through me - and I just can't offer it. All he wants to do is talk and talk about "feelings" and all I want to do is run away.
Whenever I am around him now I tend to start to shutdown. This morning was exceptionally bad. Thank goodness I had to leave to go to work. But I know once I'm around him again, it will just keep continuing - I really feel like I'm going to lose it. The ability to maintain control is almost non-existent. I just want to go to a room where I can't be seen, curl up and cry and be left completely alone. If only he would just leave me alone...
- AnonymousJanuary 30, 2012 at 7:04 PM
I just cease to function. Suicidal ideation increases a lot, and I avoid everyone. Doesn't help I lost my job and moved back home - it just drags on forever.ReplyDelete
I've been diagnosed with ADHD, but I resent that diagnosis, mostly because I know I truely have HFA, or something on the ASD spectrum that pervades my entire life, and isn't confined to merely "ADHD." The diagnosis helps though because of the drugs, I take adderall 2-3 times a week to help with school (I'm 19) and it helps a lot. I used to fail in college because of mounting frustrations from attention leading to depression and apathy. Though recently I haven't had my adderall due to stupid financial reasons.ReplyDelete
I've been off it for 2 weeks and have been relatively fine, except that I sunk back into my stupid depressed apathetic rut after a math problems pissed me off. Yeah, one math problem. What led was a classic shutdown preceeded by a short lived tantrum where I kicked a hole in my grandparent's wall and shouted obscenities at the tv. I sat behind a brick wall in the sun for two hours before my granddad found me. This has been happening to me my whole life. I am naturally prone to building up stress and anxiety, and I try to relieve it as much as I can, by running and talking with people, but that only goes so far. Sometimes you just need to let it all out and start with a clean slate.
It takes the rest of the day to get over my feelings of anxiety and frustration during which I listen to Nirvana and rip paper into little shreds (like the guy from the Langoliers)
The preceeding story happened today, and I write this in the midst of the song "Heart Shaped Box" I'll be fine tomorrow, and I await it's rewards (finishing my stupid homework and calling Walgreens for a follow up interview to get a job)
- AnonymousAugust 23, 2012 at 12:45 PM
I had a couple shutdowns as a lil kid.ReplyDelete
I would mainly meltdown, though. I knew that screaming would do nothing, but then I had to. I was so frustrated that screaming and sobbing, then usually ending up in a sobbing, pathetic heap on my bed. Hasn't happened in almost a year though. (I'm 13.)
- AnonymousSeptember 17, 2012 at 8:09 AM
I have not been diagnosed as an Aspie, but have many characteristics of it. Another similar is Highly Sensitive- both require measured and aware behavior of environment- internal as well as external.ReplyDelete
I also had an autonomic nervous system problem RSD, which I overcame with extreme relaxation therapy and Elavil. Prayer, too. I also had premenstral syndrome, and found that for ANY NERVOUS SYSTEM PROBLEM (irritation, sadness as well) getting a huge dose of Vitamin B complex daily keeps the worst of it away. The Complex feeds the nervous system. B100 from Vit World is good. If I'm crying, I know immediately that I need Vit B, and 20 min later, I'm back to myself. Take the B as a complex, as they work as catalysts for the other B's. Take a large enough dose as well, with water. If you don't, you won't get the relief; and its water soluble, so you'll just pee out bright yellow/green when you have sufficient in your system.
Good luck, and great blog.
I am not sure if I am posting this in the right place but would so so appreciate some advice.ReplyDelete
I have a lovely 6 year old son who has Aspergers. He has recently suffered a huge trauma as a result of an assault at the hands of his dad (who has been charged and my son is now safe).
Since the assault my son who was managing well at school, is having meltdowns and shutdowns in class, difficulties staying still and concentrating and generally trying to withdraw himself from everything.
He is clearly just overloaded internally with all he is trying to process from the incident and resultant changes in his home life. His teacher is supportive but not sure what to do. It is not legal to keep him at home and stay quite and clam and feeling secure with me till he can take the stimulation of school.
Can anyone suggest techniques to help us release some existing build up stimulation and to sooth in the moment in the classroom when he is not coping?
Unfortunately at the same time as I am wanting to help him manage this I am dealing with many legal implications and being sole provider so the advice of someone with insight and experience in this area would be such a help.
Hope you don't mind that I'm not signing out with my name.
I'm an adult and have not been diagnosed with anything except dyslexia as a child but I have a lot of asberger traits.I can totally relate to shutting down because I did this the night after my husband dies,went into my closet and shut my door rolled up into some blankets in the dark in there and even though I had other relatives in the house I wouldn't talk to anybody.My mom finally found me there.I hate that I put her through that.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 8, 2013 at 12:37 PM
I had a shutdown once in which I actually blacked out...I could feel everything around me starting to fade away because of the situation I was in....I couldn't speak. I sat there shaking feeling like I was gasping for air and then out I go. I haven't had one like that since.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousFebruary 12, 2014 at 7:18 AM
In my past I shutdown a lot. The mental health system told me it is a bad thing to do, so after years of trying not to shut down I end up exploding in a meltdown. Now I tend to be volatile in my explosions and I cant control myself. It's one or the other. They say its wrong but I working so hard to stop doing it makes me ill.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJune 18, 2014 at 4:07 AM
My husband has Asspergers and he is basically shut down 100% of the time. The exception was when we met & fell in love, which was uplifting and stimulating to him. I don't know why this.ReplyDelete
It's possible that daily life is stressful for him and he just lives in his own little world to cope. There are other coping strategies, of course, but he doesn't know what I'm talking about when I try to discuss this with him. He will latch onto something I say such as the amount of time he spends on the computer or that he doesn't ask about my day and then he will simply avoid spending time on the computer when I'm around and be shut down doing something else, or ask robotically about my day every single night at the same time without seeming to care about the answer.
He seems depressed and unfulfilled. He has never had motivation and doesn't seem to care what happens to himself or others. He agrees with whatever I suggest but doesn't bring anything to contribute to any plans for our lives - from where to go for dinner to where to live.
He never tells me anything, from getting a raise to hearing news about his family to being ill (if he's irritable I have to ask probing questions about his health, which usually explains it). If I ask a question he will not volunteer anything. Last night: Are you getting a bonus for covering for your absent colleague? Yes. How much? 10%. Ten percent of what? His salary. How much does he make? ... Yet I'm supposed to run a budget, plan for a vacation, etc. I just don't feel like doing it by the time I've dragged the necessary information from him.
I don't know what to do.
I'm extremely unfulfilled. I try to accept the situation but it's soul-deadening to be with someone who literally doesn't care about *anything.* I continually try to offer stimulating ideas but there's no togetherness in anticipation, planning, or goal-setting. He does enjoy doing things when they are planned for him and created for him.
He doesn't seem to understand what I mean when I try to talk to him about this; how it isn't fun for me to be his lifestyle manager. How resentful I am that I am constantly reaching into my guts to dredge up "life" for him to just show up and consume.
I appreciate reading about others' experiences and I hope that people like my husband and I and the commenters here can find working solutions. If only we knew where to start.
- AnonymousJanuary 24, 2015 at 6:52 AM
how do you get out of a shut down?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJanuary 17, 2016 at 4:47 AM
I am so glad I come across this website..I think I am currently in the middle of a shutdown. Alot and I mean alot is goin on right now I work 7 days a week and back in Nov I got tested for Aspergers..almost a relief..to know Im not alone but anyway. My brain constantly is goin I have not slept much this week insomia. I have had moments in my past I have dissociated myself kinda going into a fog..blank stares and moments of my brain just dont comprehend..I need to go b alone to try to get away from all they stimuli. I have been suicidal,I have hit and banged my head in the past..I'm a rocker too,this article has helped me understand a little of what I been dealing with..ReplyDelete
Hi, I want to thank you for posting this article. I'm a 22 year old aspie and my roommate recently witnessed me having a shutdown. Since my aspergers rarely presents itself as strongly as it did when I was younger, the episode freaked her out. She didn't know what was happening or what she should do. It also doesn't help that I breath excessively loud during a shut down in a way that implies there's something wrong with my ability to take in air. Having her read this was WAY easier than trying to explain what was going on in my head. The best comparison I could come up with was saying that I needed to "shut myself off and turn myself on again."ReplyDelete
- AnonymousFebruary 15, 2016 at 3:15 PM
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.ReplyDelete
Omg! I'm in tears! I'm so encouraged by this Blog and all of your post. I met my boyfriend and before we dated, I knew he was odd. Hadn't worked in 8 years. Bye tge way he's 40. Also, bye tge way, he has a college degree. Initially, I just thought he was quirky and less intelligent than most until he saved a statistic problem I'd been trying to figure out for ever. I eventually fell in love with him. But I didn't understand his anger, quiet moments or isolation. He was on depression medication which he stopped taking. It wasn't until we broke up last week that my sister whose a critical care nurse told me, " he's got Aspergers". Then it hit me! He does have it! Omg! Every symptom is him. He moved out after a small argument and he's shutdown. I wish that I had this knowledge then. To all of you, God Bless you! I need as much advice as possible because I love him and I will stand by his side.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 2, 2016 at 5:53 PM
Thank for the post. It helped me understand what I am going through right now.ReplyDelete
I seem to be in a state of shock due to loss of support. Inconsistency and breech of trust. I can't speak and can't be among people and have to hibernate in my quiet unit all alone. This morning I went to church and a few acquaintances came up to me, but I was mute. I just looked at them and blinked, literally. I did not stay there long. I had to walk home real quick before I fainted.
I am not suicidal, but I wish I could stop existing. I wish I could just disappear.
- AnonymousNovember 22, 2016 at 4:47 PM
My daughter, now 30, had had eight complete shutdowns over 13 years. They involve becoming bed bound for between three and ten months and are very physically debilitating. They have occurred in response to any change or transition. She is now basically in permanent shutdown but on the couch rather than in bed, it is shocking and a mother's nightmare. I am doing the RDI program to try to remediate the autism brain which makes this response from occur. I recommend it.ReplyDelete
I'm 15 and have never been diagnosed with aspergers. My parents had been concerned when I was younger and some of my friends thought I had it but I've never been "tested". I have shut downs like these one or twice a week the last few years with a lot more stress in my life. How did y'all find out you had aspergers? And is it normal for people who don't have aspergers to have shut down like this?ReplyDelete
My husband age 41 is showing tons of those little shut downs and some times melt downs (which can be quiet scary). Is it too late to get tested? I am looking for multiple ways to calm and get him out of the melt down mode, even with the suggested method. Any other suggestions? Seeing we aren't talking about children.ReplyDeleteReplies
Have you tried asking him, what might help or what he might need/want you to do during those events, while he is not in a shutdown or meltdown?Delete
During a meltdown, I mostly want to be left alone because I am afraid of hurting those around me. I am physically large & very strong. I feel almost no pain during either type of episode, and I have violent & intrusive thoughts w/ a history of psychosis & blackouts... The anxiety I feel at the possibility of hurting one of my loved ones is very real because I can logically qualify my reasoning for the fear.
The only exceptions to the rule are my biological father and my step-dad. They are the only people I can tolerate the presence of during a full meltdown because both are large & very strong in their own right. They are both capable of restraining me to prevent me from hurting others or restraining me to prevent me hurting myself (which are both different restraining techniques). Also, both are very emotionally supportive and can make restraint seem more like a hug (which it usually is lol).
I have found that there are some people I absolutely cannot be around during an episode as well, & you might want to ask your husband if there is anyone that falls in this category for him. For me, it is my mother. She is often the one that triggers any meltdown that I am trying to hold back. She doesn't BELIEVE people with Asperger's have meltdowns. She berates me for throwing a fit like a child (I am 27 years old. I don't need to throw a tantrum. If I want something, I provide it for myself. If I could communicate like an adult "should", then I would). She says I am over-reacting, a drama queen, or (worst of all) trying to emotionally manipulate her.
During a shutdown, I prefer to be around my dad or boyfriend (but not both together cuz I am in no shape to mediate their testosterone contests). I do not like to be alone and this is often the only time I will seek company outside myself. I have intrusive suicidal thoughts. I don't actually want to kill myself, but when I feel utterly alone, miserable & dejected/rejected: the thought pops into my head like a popup on a computer. I think video-graphically in technicolor and HIGH DEFINITION, so the thoughts can be rather disturbing... And I don't just think about the act itself, but the aftermath of it and the effect it will have on my soul and the world as I know it (i.e. "the people around me"). I prefer Deep Pressure Therapy during shutdown (laying between two mattresses is best).
Hope this helps. Your husband is very lucky to have you & you are very lucky to have him (despite his autistic quirks or any of your neurodiverse quirks).
Remember, you can read to gain knowledge, but you should try to communicate to gain understanding. If your husband has a hard time verbally conversing about his Autistic traits, try texting about it.. I find that typing out what I need to communicate helps me process so much better.
God bless & Good Luck. Reply if you would like to know anything else I might be able to provide insight on.
- AnonymousAugust 25, 2017 at 11:12 AM
Typically during a shutdown, it seems like exactly what it says on the tin - my physical activity seems to shut down completely. I cannot move, speak, articulate in any way. My arms and legs cannot move. My gaze does not shift from one spot, usually downwards. I usually sit with my legs folded into my chest, my arms wrapped around my legs. I need to be covered, preferably with blankets or a pillow/cushion.ReplyDelete
I feel extremely vulnerable, like being naked, even though I am wearing as many layers as possible. I can hear when people are talking to me, and I can process what they are saying, but I am unable to respond at all, my brain just providing "SHUT UP! DON'T TOUCH ME! GET AWAY FROM ME!" as a response, and yet I can say nothing.
Sometimes crying is a response to the frustration, other times I cannot cry. Every natural physical activity is emphasised, every breath, blink of my eyes, twitch of my limbs, comes with an exhausting awareness of each movement.
I can relate to the mentions of self-harming behaviours - during or leading up to a shutdown, I have been known to pull out large amounts of my hair, grind my fingernails into my arms and legs, even repeatedly punch myself in the head.
Shutdowns usually happen when an uncomfortable subject has been raised. For me, it seems to be sex, but that's a whole other, personal issue. The shutdown usually begins if my partner says something like, "we need to talk about sex". Then the shutdown begins.
If the subject or I am left alone, I would probably experience and come out of a shutdown within an hour or two. However, if my partner keeps bringing up the subject, or keeps asking questions, or keeps probing for answers, the shutdown will inevitably get worse and worse and it could last all night or for at least 4 hours.
As the original poster said, this is all down to personal experience and interpretation. This is just my experience of a shutdown. Thought I would share. :)
How long could a shutdown last?
I have a partner whom i think has aspergers .. though she doesnt know it or does not want to tell me... Im afraid of discussing this with her.
she has been in a similar state for over a week. she cant concentrate on anything and just want to be alone. what is it? what can i do to help? I dont know what to do... what ever i do or say seems to make things worse
This is more the kind of thing I asssociate with Tony Attwood's term "depression attack".ReplyDelete
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Yoichi 12 - "fruit and peat"
I had this one at the Nikka Blender`s Bar. What with the slightly distracting service and the three ales in my system from a hearty meal at a nearby izakaya, I am sending out another cask strength warning not to take my impressions too seriously.
For what they are worth: there was dried fruit (plump squashy dried apricots?) and vanilla on the nose. In the mouth, quite sweet and mild on its first attack and then developing complexity and more of an attitude. The sweetness was still there (dates?) but metallic and peaty themes developed. They were by no means overwhelming, just enough to make it interesting. It seemed to have a longer finish than my memory of the Yoichi 10. I liked this one a little better than its younger brother but have given it the same score. Perhaps the scrumptious Yoichi 15 I tasted on the same night unfairly put it in the shade (we'll come to that one over the next couple of days).
45 per cent
Price (May 2007)
700 ml - 7,000 yen
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'On the screen of the Galaxy S4, everything is smooth and free of graininess.'
'The Note 2, Galaxy SIII and Galaxy S4 have excellent incoming and outgoing voice quality with good volume. '
'gigantic 5-inch screen'
'top-flight camera'
Faster processor
Innovative Siri personal assistant
Excellent hardware construction
Excellent Web speeds
'top-of-the-line smartphone'
the Motorola Photon 4G is a top-notch Android phone
Large, crisp and vibrant qHD display
Ample amount of RAM provide quick performance
'very sturdy phone'
'This is truly appealing business-oriented cell phone that comes with compact size, but emanates reliability.'
'Nokia phones work just fine with inexpensive feature phone data plans on AT&T and T-Mobile (and other GSM carriers).'
'efficient phone'
'The Cliq, with Motorola's Motoblur software for gathering information from social networks, is a decidedly consumer-friendly phone that makes the Droid feel deadly serious in comparison. '
'The keyboard is decent-- a good thing for a social networking and messaging oriented phone.'
'reliable mobile Web experience'
'And despite the sliding keyboard, the phone still feels fairly slim. '
'For such a groundbreaking device, the N95's looks, at first glance, are that of an ordinary Nokia slider phone.'
'the Nokia N95 is one smart phone that just doesn't measure up, especially if you consider all the features in its minute size.'
'The keypad is very well designed, with a nice hump to each row of keys that made them easy for multi-tap typing.'
'5 megapixel camera with Carl Zeiss autofocus lens, a 2.6" QVGA display and a two way slider'
'Mobile hot-spot capability. 3G speeds.'
'True world phone.'
'fairly small, low-resolution screen'
'built-in GPS'
Call quality is good
Touchscreen form factor finally done right
Buggy software
Mediocre voice quality
'The Touch Dual's 400-MHz Qualcomm MSM7200 CPU is powerful enough to run Windows Mobile at a decent clip, though on occasion I still had to wait several seconds with frozen dialog boxes on the screen.'
'The original Touch model had it on the bottom edge which was way more convenient, especially when you had the phone inside the case - the new solution doesn't allow plugging in headset in such a situation due to the unusual slot location.'
'well-designed slider'
'it revealed the elegant image of the modern PocketPC'
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LOL good thing she wasn't in heat... LOL. Riggs was very gallant to take care of my little princess and Queen Ruby was a doll to play with my coo-coo baby brat.mnp13 wrote:It was GREAT meeting everyone! Riggs wanted me to thank you for trusting him with guarding Bodacious. It gave him plenty of private time to flirt with her.
Patch O' Pits wrote:LOL Wait is it OK to let go of the leash now Michele?
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Cered organises a fun evening for Llandysul Cubs with 'Britain's got Talent' star
CERED: Menter Iaith Ceredigion hosted a fantastic evening for Llandysul Cubs where the comedian Noel James from 'Britiain's got Talent' came to entertain them.
Rhodri Francis, Cered Development Officer said, "We are very keen to work with organisations like the Cubs in order to hold a series of Welsh language events for their members. The evening with Noel James at Llandysul Cubs was fantastic – everyone enjoyed themselves! We wish to organise more events there in the future. We would like to thank Llandysul Cub leaders for giving us the opportunity to work with them so that their members can have the opportunity to socialise and enjoy activities through the medium of Welsh".
Alix Bryant,Cub Leader 1st Llandysul Scout Group said, "On behalf of Llandysul Cub Scouts I would like to say a huge thank you to Cered for organising a very entertaining evening for the Cubs. It was great for the children to be entertained bilingually by Noel James, he did an amazing job. I think the children especially enjoyed the impressions!"
"This session has inspired the children to complete their entertainers badge so maybe we will have a few budding Welsh comedians in our group. Thank you again and we look forward to working with Cered in the future".
For more information about Cered: Menter Iaith Ceredigion events and activities, visit their website, cered.cymru or their Facebook page, @ceredmenteriaith, or get in touch by calling 01545 572 358.
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Time given to develop Parc Natur Penglais
VOLUNTEERS, including students, have given around 500 hours of their time to develop Parc Natur Penglais.
Along with support from Ceredigion County Council, the Group have built around 100 steps in 5 different places which has made the park a great place to walk, play and enjoy around a number of safe paths.
Councillor Mark Strong said: "Knowing that we have the support of the local community makes such a difference to peoples' enthusiasm and having the grant from Aberystwyth Town Council, Cambrian News and Tesco made it possible. Volunteers can make a relatively small sum of money go long way."
RSPCA aim for Christmas number one
MUSIC fans across Wales can help the RSPCA secure the Christmas number one slot, and provide vital support for animals in need across the country.
The animal welfare charity has thrown its hat into the ring to claim the festive chart accolade – as up-and-coming singer Lucy Ellie covers Simply Red's hit song 'Stars' in aid of the RSPCA.
'Stars' is the soundtrack to the charity's 'Kindness at Christmas' video, which has already gone viral with over two million views online across a variety of platforms.
The tear-jerking video tells the story of Woody the Christmas toy pup who who is thrown out with the rubbish before being rescued and taken in for care by the RSPCA.
Proceeds from the single are being donated to the RSPCA to help in their work rescuing, rehabilitating and rehoming thousands of animals every year.
RSPCA Cymru is again bracing itself for a busy festive period. In December 2016 and January 2017 alone, in Wales, 5,932 incidents were reported to the RSPCA – with 141 of these on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
Lucy Ellie Cooper, who works at the charity, said: "This was a lovely opportunity for me to combine my two loves – animals and music.
"Outside of my job at the RSPCA I am a country music singer and songwriter, so when the chance came up to record such a fantastic and well-known song for the charity's Christmas video, I jumped at it. I really hope people will take Woody's story into their hearts and support the RSPCA this winter."
You can help the RSPCA rescue, rehabilitate and re-home animals in desperate need of care, and support the charity's 'kindness' campaign online
Charity games raise over £2000
NOT all heroes wear capes and Tesco Aberystwyth's very own Community Champion, Natasha Worrall has proven this raising a staggering £2,096.27 for local and national charities.
Natasha, the brainchild behind the charity football events, came up with the idea first off by challenging Tesco's neighbours, Marks and Spencer's, to a football match, she quickly set her powers to work and contacted Aberystwyth Football club who were more than happy to help and allowed use of the pitch.
The Big Day arrived, there was a lot of tension and passion on the pitch that night, it was more than just about winning a match it was the status, the pride and most of all bringing people together to raise money for three great causes; Diabetes UK, British Heart Foundation and Mind. Hundreds of supporters braved the cold October evening to support the players and Tesco stole the show with a 7-1 victory and an amazing £607 was raised.
Natasha now had a taste of success under her cape and wanted to really get this event of the ground and challenged supermarket rivals, Morrisons to a match! The response for Tesco vs Morrisons was just what Natasha wanted and a November date was set.
Tesco now had experience in their boots and both teams had everything to play for. Victory once again went to Tesco who pipped Morrisons at the post and clawed back to a 5-4 victory raising a further £648.15 for Diabetes UK, British Heart Foundation and Clic Sargent.
In true football fashion Natasha wanted a hat trick but could Team Tesco achieve this? Last Sunday (Dec 3) seemed the perfect opportunity and the opponents who were up for the challenge came from Bronglais Hospital and their chosen charity Pila Pala, Llwyn yr Eos. What a match! And what great team to take victory, Hywel Dda 2 – Tesco – 0. A rematch could certainly be on the cards especially as they raised the biggest amount ever of £841.12.
Behind every success there is always great team and working with Natasha and the players a number of local heroes who helped, Ruth's kitchen provided heroic meals for all the players for a £1 donation, Aberystwyth women's Team loaned their footballs, the Referees, linesmen, stewards, security, first aiders and ball boys and girls who all donated their time free of charge.
Team Tesco are looking for more opponents to play and raise even more money for local charities, if you are interested please call into Tesco store and see Natasha.
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Topsail head football coach Bryan Davis has stepped down from his coaching duties
Topsail head football coach Bryan Davis has stepped down from his coaching duties, per the school.
Davis will remain at the school as a teacher but will relinquish his coaching position, Topsail athletic director B.J. Horne said. Horne and Davis met with the team during lunch Tuesday to tell them of Davis' resignation.
"He was just kind of tired," Horne said. "He's still going to remain here teaching but felt like he couldn't give it as much – he's got two kids and it got to be a lot."
Davis helped improve Topsail's football program by leaps and bounds in his six years at the school. He had four winning seasons and a 40-30 overall record in his time here. Topsail finished third in the East Central Conference last year with a 7-4 record, its second straight winning season. Topsail will move from the 2A East Central Conference to the 3A/4A Mideastern Conference with New Hanover County Schools and West and South Brunswick for the 2013-2017 realignment.
Jim Clanahan, assistant football coach and head girls basketball coach at Topsail, will serve as an interim coach for the summer workouts until Topsail names a replacement, Horne said. Horne added that the Pirates hope to name a new football coach by early June.
But Davis said the strain of building Topsail's program wore on him.
"To build a program, it takes an inordinate amount of energy. Those guys who have done something, winning regional and state championships, there's a history to fall back on. We've been fighting history here for six years and it's been tough."
He said that strain, and the lack of people to delegate responsibility to, has taken its toll.
"I've been the offensive coordinator, the defensive coordinator and the special teams coordinator for six years," Davis said. "I haven't been able to delegate. That hasn't been afforded to me."
Davis didn't rule out coaching again in the future, saying he'd turned down offers from other parts of the state before, but said that the long hours of being a head coach at Topsail took a toll on his family life.
"I'm going to keep my options open," Davis said. "But I'm trying to do the very best I can to formulate a plan that's going to be best for the family. I've got a boy that's going to be in high school and another going into fifth grade. I don't know that my half-hearted energy coming home every day is enough for them."


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For those who follow Jesus, Easter is about as good as it gets.
It's a time when Christians around the world celebrate the most important moment in history—the moment when Jesus Christ rose from the grave, defeating death once and for all.
It's a time to be joyful, a time to be thankful, a time to be—above all else—full of hope.
But what about those who haven't encountered God's radical love? For them, this Easter may be just another Sunday. Or, it could be life-changing.
This year, the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (BGEA) is encouraging believers to celebrate the true meaning of Easter by sharing the hope of Christ with friends, family and neighbors.
To help, BGEA is providing free copies of the My Hope video "The Cross" to anyone who plans to share it.
"We want to provide a resource to the Church and encourage the church to pray, to look for the lost and to ask God to open a wide door of opportunity to share the Gospel," said Steve Rhoads, BGEA's vice president of My Hope.
As the Easter outreach commences, BGEA is still hearing stories of how God moved during last November's My Hope America with Billy Graham.
Centered around Mr. Graham's 95th birthday on Nov. 7, My Hope gave believers a chance to share the Gospel by using one of three 30-minute videos. The flagship video, "The Cross," featured a new message of hope from Billy Graham, along with the powerful stories of singer Lacey Sturm and rapper Lecrae.
Millions watched "The Cross" on Fox News and multiple network channels. Thousands shared the message through the internet or on DVD.
"One of the main lessons that we learned in November is that Christians are resourceful and creative," Rhoads said. "We had people that were emailing links to their friends. They were sharing it on an iPad one-on-one. We had pastors who were opening up their churches to do an evangelistic outreach. We had individuals who hung a sheet in a public park and projected "The Cross" for people who walked by."
Rhoads is excited to see believers come up with new ideas for the Easter season.
"We want to put the resource in their hands and say, 'We have all kinds of creative ways to do this, but you don't have to do it our way,'" Rhoads said. "Just do something. Share it at church or at home over coffee, but find a way to share the Gospel at Easter."
For those who find themselves on the shy side, Rhoads points out that Billy Graham, Lacey Sturm and Lecrae can do most of the talking.
"Mr. Graham is loving and articulate," Rhoads said. "And in combination with Lacey and Lecrae's testimony, it brings a person to a point where they have to make a decision."
Click here to learn more about sharing "The Cross" this Easter, including information on how to download the video or order a free DVD copy.


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UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa. -- For the second consecutive year, a team of Penn State students captured first place in the Weather Challenge, a North American collegiate weather forecasting competition.
Penn State's forecasters bested teams from more than 50 universities. The top five Penn State forecasters were senior Ryan Kramer, junior Brad Yehl, and graduate students Kyle Imhoff, Josh Boden and Michael Goss. Their names will be engraved on the Weather Challenge trophy, which will reside at Penn State during the 2013-14 academic year.
Kramer was the individual Weather Challenge national champion, finishing with the top cumulative score among all forecasters, while Imhoff finished second overall and first among all graduate students nationwide. Freshmen Michael Priante and Matthew Strauser finished first and second nationally among all freshmen and sophomore forecasters.
During the 20-week forecasting contest that ran from September to April, students predicted high and low temperatures, precipitation and wind speeds at 10 different cities. Some of this year's forecast locations included Duluth, Minn., Astoria, Ore., and Louisville, Ky. SUNY-Albany finished second overall in the forecasting competition, followed by Georgia Tech, Mississippi State and MIT.


text: Abbott, Fonterra to Add 16,000 Cows in Venture for Chinese Dairy Farms July 11, 2014 05:02 AM Tweet TAGS: Marketing, Overseas December 18, 2014 By Bloomberg Email The companies will form a joint venture to run as many as five dairy farms, with the first farm opening in 2017. Abbott Laboratories is planning its first foray into China's dairy market through a $300 million joint venture with Fonterra Cooperative Group Ltd., the world's largest milk processor. The companies will form a joint venture, which must be approved by Chinese regulators, to run as many as five dairy farms, they said in a statement yesterday. The operation will involve more than 16,000 milking cattle, with the first farm opening in 2017. The effort is eventually expected to produce up to 160 million liters of milk a year. Fonterra, a farmer-owned New Zealand co-operative, already runs two dairy hubs in China's Shanxi and Hebei Provinces. The joint venture will import cows or obtain them from Fonterra's existing farms. Abbott, the largest maker of adult nutritional beverages in the world and a leader in infant formula, has allocated more than $400 million to its Chinese operations so far this year. "This is a very important step in our growing commitment to Chinese consumers," said Abbott Chief Executive Officer Miles White. "We're committed to using our science, our product quality and educational efforts to raise the level of health in China and around the world." The move comes as other food and nutrition companies have also been boosting investment in China and its $16 billion infant formula market. Danone, the Paris-based maker of Activia yogurt, earlier this year invested $663 million to double its stake to almost 10 percent in China Mengniu Dairy Co., the country's biggest dairy producer. Good Move The move is a good one for Abbott Park, Illinois-based Abbott, said Larry Biegelsen, a Wells Fargo analyst in New York. "This joint venture should provide Abbott with access to high quality milk for its infant formula business, which is important given the dynamic Chinese regulatory environment," he wrote in a note to clients yesterday. "The Chinese government has signaled its intention to develop the local dairy industry. It's possible that the Chinese government could at some point require infant formula to be made with local milk." Both Fonterra and Abbott have had problems in China. Fonterra, based in Auckland, said last August it found bacteria that can cause botulism, a rare and deadly condition, in whey protein concentrate it produced. Abbott did a precautionary recall of milk powder because of potential contamination. The products and the ingredients were subsequently found to be safe. Milk powder tainted with melamine caused an industry-wide scandal in China in 2008, prompting the collapse of Fonterra's partner Sanlu Group. Twenty-two companies including Sanlu sold formula made from contaminated milk, killing six infants. Abbott and Fonterra acknowledged the need for high quality milk products produced locally in China. Demand for dairy has been steadily rising for the past decade, and safe products are needed to foster the local industry, the companies said. "Farming hubs are a key part of our strategy to be a more integrated dairy business in Greater China, contribute to the growth and development of the local Chinese diary industry, and help meet local consumers' needs for safe, nutritious dairy products," Fonterra Chief Executive Officer Theo Spierings said in the statement. Back to news


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Attending to the Earth
Nine Acres, by Nathaniel Perry, The American Poetry Review, 60 pp., $14.
Sanderlings, by Geri Doran, Tupelo Press, 60 pp., $16.95.
The Children, by Paula Bohince, Sarabande, 73 pp., $14.95.
The Names of Birds, by Tom Crawford, Sherman Asher, 143 pp., $14.95.
Despite increased global temperatures, devastating storms, drought, even earthquakes and tsunamis, as we march deeper into the technological and postindustrial abyss of the twenty-first century, often spending more time with our iPhones and tablets than with the abundant life that flourishes around us, fewer and fewer humans find any deep and meaningful connection with the earth and the myriad species it nurtures and sustains. Over the stretches of human-time, one role of the poet has been that of seer, even prophet or oracle, and while the four poets whose work comprises this review do not speak in the same voice or register, their poetry does suggest the complex and potentially difficult relationship we have with the earth in our present moment. Their work also demonstrates an intimacy and filial love for birds, for flowers, for trees, for the fish in the sea and the animals that walk the land.
Never facile, nor nostalgic and sentimental, these poets challenge us to reconsider our understanding of this spinning world we find our feet planted upon and the role poetry might play in further exploring that relationship, or perhaps even healing its fractured bonds.
Nathaniel Perry's first book, Nine Acres, winner of The American Poetry Review/Honickman Prize, was selected by Marie Howe for what she suggests is its ability to restore and refresh, and that restoration, that refreshment, is linked to Perry's own intimate relationship to the acreage he tills and cares for in Virginia.
The farmer has held a distinct place in American letters, beginning as early as 1782 when J. Hector St. John De Crevecoeur published Letters from an American Farmer. Certainly Robert Frost's place as a failed farmer who made good as a poet suggests there is fertile ground for a writer who scratches the earth, attempting to bring forth the plants that will feed him and the poems he will write. More recently we've seen a flourishing of writers who live in rural regions, often on old farms, growing their own food, raising animals, foraging for wild edibles, learning their place on earth.
Perry's poems are filled with lush details of moments spent knowing his place in the world. For example, in "Bees," Perry writes that he was with his "boy in the woods, teaching / him words (woodsorrel, finch) and what sounds // the wind can make." Like Wendell Berry, Maxine Kumin, Mary Swander, and Maurice Manning, to name a few contemporary poets who work in this tradition, Perry continually reminds the reader of his particular place and way of life, of rhythms attuned to weather and precipitation, the cycles of birth and death at the center of this "back to the land" poetry. What such writers hold in common is a deep attentiveness to a particular place and their stewardship of that place. Reading their work, we witness the ways that such care allows a person to travel as deeply and as widely as any far-flung adventurer abroad, creating a local bond from which art grows organically.
Ever so appropriately, Perry uses as his infrastructure an agricultural text by M.G. Kains, Five Acres and Independence, published in 1935. Like seeds started in a greenhouse (or in a home near a window with a southern exposure), Perry transplants Kains' fifty-two chapter titles to serve as the titles of his fifty-two poems. Thus, we are treated to such practical monikers as "The Farm to Choose," "Soil-Surface Management," "Green Manures and Cover Crops," and "Storage of Fruits and Vegetables."
We would do well to remember that the word "verse" has an ancient relationship with our agricultural past, suggesting that the turn in a poem is metaphorically like the turn in a field as we till it, creating a furrow that runs back in the direction we have come. The furrows that Perry plows in each poem consist of four quatrains, utilizing end rhyme and meter, and if this sounds potentially plodding and predictable as a plow horse, it is anything but.
In the book's first poem, simply titled "Introduction," the speaker is confronted by a coyote while out for a walk with his son and the family dog. The coyote stops to stand and look at the father and his boy, and the poet, as he attempts to read the animal's face, confesses that "all I got was the starkness / of form: that which hunts before me, / that which is not dark in the darkness." In a sense, many of the poems in this superb debut meditate upon the idea of what is not "dark in the darkness," or at the very least problematize the crass dichotomy between our ideas of light and dark, right and wrong.
Perhaps one of the greatest traps in writing about the rural or agricultural world is the fond (and potentially dishonest) look backward toward an Edenic past, the sentimentality of the pastoral writ large. Thankfully, Perry does not stumble into this trap, and, in "Essentials of Spraying and Dusting," he exhibits an involvedness and an honesty about the land and his neighbors that belies any facile mythic-pastoral or any easy environmental alternative.
Lee's putting poison on his corn.
Though I'd never raise the issue, I try
not to think what else is in his creek
besides the chapel light of high
morning sun and hoof prints from the deer
and jailbreak cows and my dogs, lost
in the wildness of wild water.
Here the poet combines different registers of language to include the more expected beauty of nature—"the chapel light of high // morning sun"—with the reality of the most prevalent farming practice—"Lee's putting poison on his corn."
The use of insecticides, pesticides, and commercial fertilizers was originally implemented to increase yields and to make it possible to farm larger and larger acreages without the need for more human or animal help. Ironically (and sadly), these same practices often hurt farmers—in health and in finances—and so we learn this is to be the last year Lee will put in corn.
—he told me he can't
farm it alone anymore, one man
on a tractor not antagonist
enough to manage this greening canvas.
Lee's putting poison on his corn,
his daddy put poison on the corn.
And it grew! So many things, so many
things in us when we are born.
The beauty and lyricism of that "chapel light" and the "wildness of wild water"—as much a part of Perry's nine acres as those deer and jailbreak cows, is balanced three times by the refrain "Lee's putting poison on his corn." And despite the corn and the exclamatory way in which it grew, the poem ends darkly with the implicit threat of "So many things, so many / things in us when we are born."
Perhaps what is most satisfying in this volume—besides the fully realized subsistence farm and the manner in which Perry situates it in a rural region of contemporary Virginia, with its attendant uses and abuses—is the layering of family with the life of the farm, the folding in of place with the love of a husband for a wife, an apropos reminder of the derivation of husbandry.
"The field we bought is filled with clover," the poet observes in "Soils and their Care," declaring "You are still my lover, I am still / yours." Though his need for such a declaration is unclear as the poem begins, we learn that they have a child on the way and that in reminiscing about the year they lived in London—"you were my lover there / as well, and I was yours"—the tug of what might be lost and the fragility of the future weighs upon him. He concludes the poem with a rhetorical question: "And what, exactly, binds / this August meadow and that year?" And, as in so many of Perry's poems, with plainspoken speech he sends a shudder through the reader with his insightful forthrightness: "I could say love—we'd all, of course, / expect that. I should, but won't, say fear."
There is a pleasure in following the rhythms that Nine Acres offers. The poems fulfill expectations with their form, like certain daily chores, yet there are surprises, what one can never predict—corn that failed to grow any larger than "the size of those giant / pencils you get as a kid," or a husband's confession: "Staring at you squatting down / among the lettuces, I can't / help but imagine you naked there, / the sun and summer having lent // your skin their shimmer." These poems truly are a "farm library," which is the volume's final gift, a kind reminder that "in seed and land we find an anchor, / and in language we weigh out our courage."
While Geri Doran's second book Sanderlings may not be as accessible as Perry's Nine Acres, in its dense imagery and fragmentation the reader senses the immensity of the world, its overpowering ripeness, and the possibility of revelation in such violent fecundity.
Writing in what is often an oblique and elliptical manner—in Doran's work one seldom understands the context of a poem in its entirety, nor does one know the identity of the speaker—the poet creates a variety of music similar to that of composer and producer Brian Eno. The ambient atmosphere of this book becomes as important, if not more important, than the grounding facts of any particular poem, and there is much pleasure to be gleaned in its rhythms, its provoking anachronisms, and its slightly off-center use of language.
Doran's poems can be severe, lean objects, made of sharp edges that slice to the quick; as she says of Albrecht Durer's Saint Jerome in "Harrow," "He came back clean / as picked bone." And Doran picks at the bones of our existence, scouring them clean, then turning them over and over, seeking to find the spiritual dimensions in their materiality, allowing the fleshly world to intrude again and again into a range of spiritual mythologies.
A fine example of this is in the book's title poem, in which the sand on the beach speaks to the poet, saying "hush" as her mother once said this word. (I should note that the act of personification in this instance is not merely a poetic tool; rather, the vision of the speakers in this collection would appear to have a mystical relationship to the world, and the world, or portions of it, literally speaks to them.) Yet despite the sand's admonition the poet will not be quieted; she must speak, must articulate her own numinous vision of the world:
Fish-smell up on the pier. Fish in the water
calling to fish dying in buckets, saying hush
redtail surfpearch, hush starry flounder.
The very earth cries out to the poet, and unlike the masses that walk by, hearing nothing, numb to the world that carries them, Doran attends to these voices.
Although a Christian mythos undergirds much of the book, especially the last quarter, Doran chafes against the strictures such a mythology might impose, and she clearly desires to graft her own religious inclinations to include prayer directed to the earth and its multitudes. "We gave you this name, / Mama said, for the saint who saved you." The poet balks at such a claim, retorting, "Starting out already in debt for life." Her mother once again seeks to quiet her child, to urge her back toward conformity: "Hush, she only meant you should pray to him." But such prayer does not sit easy with one who would rather pray to "the rocks and the sanderlings." To the poet's disappointment, however, sanderlings do not always listen, and in a later poem, "The Snowlit Sky," such devotion may bring with it an unexpected violence: "prayer assails the unbeliever."
So much of this book carries with it this feeling of divergence, of a conflicted mind trying to come to terms with the very things that cannot be represented in language, that cannot be settled with an easy equanimity. The ineffable reigns, yet the job of the poet is to make gestures toward the ineffable despite the impossibility. Thus, Doran's poems represent distress, discomfort, an inquietude that compels the poet to speak:
The hackberry blackens in the March rain.
The bur oak in the backyard waits—
We are all out of season, unkind
in our distrait.
And it is not just Christianity's mythos Doran attempts to ground in earthly obsession, in earthly compassion, but other myths as well, including that of Atlantis. The book's entire third section uses the stories of Atlantis, reworking them, as in "Aubade," in which the mythical city is transformed:
By starlight I mean
an Atlantis of meadow-flowers surrounded by water
sinking back into the blue.
Perhaps this is the crux of Doran's personal mythology: all spiritual things ultimately are overcome, subsumed, even transformed by the earthly. And such an idea culminates in the book's final section, in which the poet grapples with the very earthliness of Christ.
In "The Passion of Mary, Called Magdalene," Mary confesses that waiting for men, taking their silver pieces, was only a ruse. She describes her way of deflecting intimacy in the sexual act by claiming she "was a skyful / Of snow, its soft arousal. Alone humming / Snowfall is the self's first bewilderment." However, when she encounters Christ, she explains in astonishment that "Breathing I took in more than air, I took in / Him, and the luminous cells in me parted." In this provocative, sensual scene Mary takes Christ into her body, "not as blown sail" like the other men who paid her for sexual favors, "but as himself, a man causing the earthward / Freefall of snow, a descent white-blinded, / In-taken, bodied."
Yes, bodied. That's it exactly: a recognition by Doran that we are creatures of incarnation, and in that incarnation we are joined not only to other humans and to the gods we make in our own images, but to the other animals that inhabit the earth. Thus, in certain poems Doran even moves into other-than-human bodies, seeking to inhabit them, to speak through them in a prophetic voice. In "Earth Moving," the speaker is collective: "We are four/ birds on the bank above." In "Common Prayer," the supplicant's words come to rest "Between the whoofs / of startled deer, echoing, and echoing clear /creed of some unvanquished mystery."
Doran's prayer of an almost fevered poetry is truly one that seeks what is common in all things, leading her to proclaim, "O my most fragrant Lord, you are honeysuckle / my childish hand will not relinquish." It is fitting that the poet ends her book on a note of grace, literally naming it that:
For God is only God in the Marsden Rock.
Love permits his echo be dispersed
among the trees, and merely echo, and mere—
what concentrates is silt beneath the creek,
the residue of love after time has closed
its doors and hung the sign—
for we are scorners all and yet may know
that love which tidepools us,
like sea anemone in coastal caves.
While reading Doran's book can be bewildering at times, like being lost in a deep wood with a map whose signs and directions are unfamiliar, the experience rewards the reader with its music, with its understanding that grace is always bewildering, unspeakable, but finally necessary for survival.
Paula Bohince follows her award-winning and critically acclaimed debut Incident at the Edge of Bayonet Woods with the beautifully wrought and technically dazzling The Children. Compared to the first book, with its gothic dimensions and murder-mystery-driven narrative, the new book is more traditionally structured, with greater meditative space between individual poems. As the title of the book would suggest, Bohince's new work wrestles with the idea of childhood: its myriad perspectives, its movement from innocence to experience, the difficulty of assessing one's childhood past, and the manner in which childhood experience continues to affect our adult lives. The book is filled with poems of remembrance: of an adult child watching the decline of her parents, of a wife remembering her longing for an imaginary husband when she was a girl, of a woman coming to terms with fertility, with loss, with a desire to create children of her own.
Such terrain provides ample slope for a tumble into sentimentality, but Bohince does not gild her memories with the false security of nostalgia, and this book provides no easy emotional maneuvers to skirt such difficulties. When we fall in her poems we are bloodied, bruised by the honesty of her vignettes, the poet's camera obscura capturing the images of a father who drinks to excess and a mother who must battle the failures of her body and her mind. Words provide no easy salve, but they do provide a means for plotting out the past and suggesting a path to follow into the future.
Like Perry and Doran, Bohince locates and grounds her speakers and their voices in the natural world—in the milkweed's seed, in a hornet's gray nest, in wild mushrooms and pussy willow blossoms—objects capable of carrying the emotional weight of her searching, which serve as metaphors that suggest the intricacy, the difficulty in finding our place in our families and the world beyond familial borders.
As Bohince writes in "The Peacock," children's "play is serious business," and like a detective, in the volume's title poem she is troubled by what is not known about the children, explaining that "if the wind had been less gutsy / in its unbindings, we'd know them better, / the children // or the afterimage of them." Chasing after these ghostly afterimages, she discovers that their world is comprised of the beauty of the natural world and the detritus of the adult human world, and that the collision of these worlds inevitably haunts us:
If we'd been given more distinct evidence
beyond the condom listing against milk-
weed, the fox prints, the warmth
of glow sticks in our hands—
neutral again, broken of their magic.
Those dirty pacifiers we suck. Their whistles
we put to mouth and sound.
Bohince is masterful in teasing out the ways children encounter the world adults often try to shelter them from. After all, those forces, those energies, the contexts that lead to divorce or addiction or worse, do indeed affect children, but usually that impact is acknowledged and studied at some later point from an adult's perspective. A fine example of this is in "The Peacock" in which a father has "tired of his wife" and children. In the midst of this disruptive apathy, "dreams feather the pillow and make bearable / the day." Using stark lines and spare description, Bohince uncovers what she calls the "Brueghel moment" in this small family tragedy by providing the singular image that will stay with the children many years from now.
He therefore lies down
in a room made his by grease and pain
and speechlessness. He lies down on his carpet
at midday, the television bright
and silent.
Yet out of this despondency, which the children observe, comes an impression that helps them to navigate and survive with a portion of their father: "His black hair / with sunlight on it. // A miracle. Something to recall / as beautiful, in the future. As the sewer was / in summer. Little childhood river." This is how adulthood negotiates the knowledge of revulsion, of separation. Of course, a sewer is a contaminated space, a thing to be avoided. But to a child, a sewer can hold wonder, can become a river of sorts, something to be loved, to be valued, like a father who has lost his way and no longer wants us.
Throughout this collection beauty collides with pain, happiness with the threat of sorrow or with sorrow itself. As the speaker explains in "The Hive," "Wax degrades. / Honey / bitters, the bodies / of bees go missing," and what we are left with is "a bolus of sugar / and virus." To devastating effect, the third and final section of the book explores this kind of dis-ease in the body and the world beyond the body, the threat of viruses that unmake us, that can ultimately destroy us.
In "April Blizzard," Bohince explores the possibility of such destruction through the discovery of an adulterous affair in her grandparent's marriage. Here there are "humiliated fields," daffodils with "frills frozen, chagrin over everything," as a late snow storm reveals:
the onyx ring, the mink, the letters
my grandmother kept, from her husband
during his service, though she never forgave
his affair, or let him forget
Yet another kind of betrayal surfaces in "Flood," only one poem removed from that late spring blizzard:
Embraced by the sea-licked walls
Let me admire your mouth, husband
Spark gone out of the house
House infatuated with ruin
And in the very next poem, "Imaginary Husband," yet again betrayal, like a virus, threatens, but as in "Flood," there is a recognition that, at least in part, some of this is of the speaker's making—an infatuation with ruin, an insight into how we participate in such un-making:
I handed him years. I did this
to be known, to be degraded, and to have him
announce the beauty
of my degradations. But he was
me, was he not? The part
that would deliver us to the bewildering
adult kingdom.
This kind of psychological depth permeates much of Bohince's writing, allowing for the creation of fully realized characters, and, although many of the narratives are fragmentary, her ability to create tension and believable resolution through stunning turns of language and imagery marks her as one of the most important poets of her generation.
Tom Crawford is part of a collective of poets in the United States whose work is infused by the ancient Chinese poets, by certain ideas found within Buddhism, and by the mystical as propounded by and within the natural world. Similar to the work of such contemporary American poets as David Budbill, Gary Snyder, and Jim Harrison, Crawford's poetry is plainspoken and unpretentious, offering well-earned insights from a life of careful observation, and, like Harrison in particular, Crawford's passion for birds is on full display in his sixth book of verse, The Names of Birds.
While a self-confessed birder, Crawford does not create poems as an ornithologist might. As he explains in "Family: Troglodytidae," "I know I'm a bad ornithologist. / I bring no data: maps or distribution / of species or description of habitat." Instead he writes simply from years and years of scrutiny, demonstrating a deep devotion, even a love for the manner in which birds live their lives: "only me, following my feelings in / the side of what can't be / replaced. It's my job, though, / in a loud world. To be quiet. / Friend to the smallest song."
And this job he has chosen—befriending the smallest song, putting peanut butter in the feeder, waiting in the early morning dark for the flutter of wings at his window—owns him because of his admiration for the differences between birds and humans. As he explains in "All the Birds Are Here":
I so like birds:
they don't hold a grudge.
What a fine thing
to let go almost immediately
all the bad things
we've done to them.
In more activist-oriented poems like "Where the Country Goes Wrong" and "Christopher Columbus Discovers the Tar Sands of Alberta," Crawford recounts many of "the bad things / we've done to (birds)," asking "How to save what's left?" He has suggested in a recent interview that his motivation in writing this new collection is at least in part his grandchildren: As he looked out on the degradation and alarming decline of nature in his own lifetime, he realized that his generation's legacy offers little to the next and the next after. This collection does not lack for hope, nor does it flinch from the realities of how we destroy the world that sustains us, or from the ultimate truth of our own deaths.
In "The President's Last Speech," one of the collection's darker poems, Crawford uses biting irony to address our own folly and the earth's endurance:
We could do
but we couldn't do
couldn't learn
to sing
even one
little titmouse
out of hiding.
And he concludes,
Let's be happy
with our absence:
the earth will
still pull on its pants
every morning
and birds
(can you imagine
their chatter?)
will do nicely
without us.
In "Bosque Del Apache," while describing birders (the kind who keep life-lists of the birds they have had the privilege of seeing, who often travel great distances to see a particular species), Crawford suggests that hope is like a habit:
Birders are like old monks
from another life,
still in formation,
still shy. They
can't seem to break the habit
of silence, to rise early,
to hope.
In a related poem, entitled "Birders," he explains further that this group of people "might / just be / our last / best hope" because of their "uncommon / excitement / at just seeing / a bird, rare / or ordinary."
Such gratitude for the simplest and smallest of gifts, according to Crawford, is something we can learn from birds. In "It's Such a Relief to Want Less," the poet observes the patterns of a sharp-shinned hawk "who is not greedy / so eats only one small sparrow a day" and asks that this "be my model."
At one point, in a not-so-distant past—after all, two or three generations is a blink of the eye when we consider human history in relation to the earth's age—to know the names of trees, the calls and songs of birds, the tracks and habits of animals, the time of year to plant a garden or harvest native berries, nuts, or mushrooms on one's homeground, was a given. Because of such knowledge, a certain kind of intimacy between a human and his or her terrestrial place existed. Crawford is a poet who belongs to such a way of living and thinking, and as the disconnection from the natural world grows more and more pronounced in contemporary culture, the more vital and essential such a voice of wisdom and knowledge becomes.
Perhaps the most telling sign of a culture's character is the way it regards death, either embracing or denying it. As Crawford begins his seventy-fourth year, he is cognizant of the growing imminence of his own end, and, fittingly, more and more of his poems confront this fact. "In Order to Let the Soul Out Sooner" recounts the funerary practices of Tibetan monks who "chop us up / into manageable / chunks /for the vultures." Crawford proclaims with good humor and cheer:
I like the idea
that one of my old hands
might fly off
into the Himalayas
in the beak of a bird
with an eight foot
And although he admits that "how the soul figures / finally, in all this / is anybody's guess," the notion that he will be food for these bird-gods makes sense to him. Such visions as these are dispersed throughout the book, proffering a satisfying rhythm that is at once surreal and deeply grounded, realistic and mystical at the same time.
Ultimately, death is not negative in Crawford's cosmology, and The Names for Birds ends on a celebratory note of self-annihilation. In "The Good Red Road," the poet utters brief prayers to a lower-case god:
And furthermore
do not let me,
god, wither,
or the woodpecker
not stop me
cold in my tracks
with its laddered
The "red road" is a shared idea across many indigenous tribal peoples of North America that suggests a right path in life, an appropriate manner of living in this world and the next. Crawford contends that on the red road "there's a resident poet / in every stone, / and an Indian pony / eats out of your hand." This is a revelation of the world worth keeping, one that Crawford himself helps to create with his poems about birds and the earth those birds come to perch upon. As the poem concludes, he conjures a final image in homage to the birds he loves and learns from, and then flings himself outward in the joy of relinquishment:
Now I lay me down
to sleep. Beside the still waters
cranes put the seal of their long toes
in the mud
and dying is just swinging out
over the big river,
then letting go.
Let's do it.
Todd Davis is the author of five books of poems, most recently In the Kingdom of the Ditch (Michigan State University Press, 2013). He edited Fast Break to Line Break: Poets on the Art of Basketball (Michigan State University Press, 2012).


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PINE MOUNTAIN, Ga. – The No. 14 Georgia College golf squad finds itself fifth after two of three rounds of the 2013 Peach Belt Conference (PBC) Championships at the Callaway Gardens Mountain View course. The Bobcats posted rounds of 301 and 293 for 18-over par, just five strokes out of the top three.
Junior Bryan Fox (Roswell, Ga.) leads the Bobcats in 10th overall after posting a pair of 73s for two-over par on the par-72, 7,057-yard course. He is four strokes off the tournament lead. The back nine was kind to Fox, putting up six sub-par holes over the two rounds.
Classmate Victor Monte (Chantilly, Va.) and senior Taylor Smith (Mansfield, Ga.) are both tied for 22nd at six-over par. Monte shaved four strokes off his opening-round 77 to jump to 22nd, while Smith carded a pair of 75s. Monte didn't have a single hole over par on the back nine in round two.
Senior Patrick Garrett (Kennesaw, Ga.) sits 35th after rebounding from an opening-round 82 for the team's lone even-par round of 72. Garrett carded four birdies on the back nine in round two, including both par-fives, No. 11 and No. 16. Sophomore Ryan Trocchio (Norcross, Ga.) is also 35th after rounds of 76 and 78.
No. 3 USC Aiken leads the team race at six over par, bettering the field by seven strokes, as No. 10 Columbus State University and No. 20 Georgia Southwestern State University are tied for second at plus-13.
CSU's Brian Lichimo is the tournament leader at two-under par after rounds of 73 and 69. He leads the tournament by a stroke over a three-way tie for second.
The third and final round gets underway tomorrow, April 21. Trocchio will get things started for Georgia College at 8 a.m., as the Bobcats are paired with golfers from Clayton State University and Armstrong.
The Georgia College Department of Athletics, two-time winners of the PBC Commissioner's Cup, sponsors 11 varsity athletic programs at the NCAA Division II level. As a Division II program, Bobcat Athletics prides itself on balancing the life of the student-athlete, evidenced by the teams' multiple appearances in post-season competition as well as documented academic success and community-service involvement. Sign up at www.twitter.com/BobcatSports and www.facebook.com/gcbobcats for up-to-the-minute reports, and visit www.GCBobcats.com for more information, and to nominate your favorite former Bobcats and Colonials to the GC Athletics Hall of Fame.


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The NYS Health Insurance Exchange, also known as the NY State of Health, was established in New York State under the Affordable Care Act – Obamacare.
This Resource Guide was created to consolidate the important information about how to get help using the Exchange from the vast amount of Exchange information now available through the Department of Health.
The Department of Health has given extensive training to hundreds of "Navigators" and "Certified Applicant Counselors (CAC)" located in communities all across New York State and their purpose is to help individuals and businesses use the NYS Health Insurance Exchange to find the most beneficial health insurance.
The NYS Breast Cancer Support & Education Network (NYSBCSEN) is NOT a trained Navigator or Certified Applicant Counselors (CAC) and therefore is NOT qualified to assist individuals or businesses in purchasing health insurance. You will find information in this Resource Guide about how to find a local Navigator or CAC to assist you.
For more detailed and comprehensive information, please visit the NYS Health Insurance Exchange Website.


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Life Course: Substance Abuse (Men)
Leader: Eric Detlefs
Administrator: Trudy Waddleton
Contact Phone: 505-344-0880
Meeting Time: Thursdays at 6:30 pm when scheduled
Meeting Place: M12
This Life Course is designed to share the love, hope, instruction, and encouragement of Jesus Christ with men whose lives are dominated by addiction. There is no charge for this class; the accompanying books, Alcohol and Drug Abuse and Codependency, are available for purchase at Parchments.
A new session begins Thursday, January 24, 2019.


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Ruffian 2006 Fall Collection Event Hosted by Maurice Villency
Wednesday, June 21, 2006,7:00-9:30 PM at Maurice Villency, 200 East 57th Steet, corner of 3rd Avenue, New York City, NY--Ruffian Celebrates its Fall 2006 Collection Hosted by Maurice Villency: Guests who came to Celebrate the Summer Solstice and View Ruffian's Fall 2006 Collection included Vanessa Carlton, Jessica Joffe, Anne Hathaway, Zoe Saldana, Annelise Peterson, Eleanor Ylvisaker, Genevieve Jones, Derek Blasberg, Kimberly Guilfoyle, Gigi Stone, Cristina Greeven Cuomo, Eric Villency, Claire Bernard, David Zinczenco, Lily Rafii, Richard Kern, Ben Cho, Melissa Berkelhammer, Susan Shin, Tracy Stern, Cathy Riva. On summer's longest day, celebs and fashionistas cooled off by toasting to Fall....Ruffian's Fall 2006 American Novel Collection at a party hosted by Maurice Villency to celebrate Ruffian's designs. Brian Wolk and Claude Morais, the design duo behind Ruffian, combine the traditions and materials of couture with the reality of the contemporary woman. Ruffian utilizes embroideries, opulent textiles and hand-tailoring. Fantasy and luxury are the essential principles of Ruffian. In just three years, Ruffian's work has garnered much critical acclaim and attention and been photographed by leading fashion photographers for Vogue, Harper's Bazaar, Interview, Italian Vogue, and The New York Times. Ruffian is currently a nominee for the CFDA/Vogue Fashion Fund. Luxury contemporary furniture retailer Maurice Villency is a strong supporter of innovative design. The brand has previously worked with Proenza Schouler, Derek Lam, Richard Chai, Sebastian Pons, Imitation of Christ, Alice Roi, Sari Gueron, Brian Reyes and Daryl K. as part of an ongoing program developed to encourage up-and-coming talent. MEDIA/PRESS INQUIRIES: Sabine Heller | e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com | tel: 646.391.4952 PHOTO CREDIT: ©Manhattan Society.com 2006 by Gregory Partanio |tel:718.614.7740 |e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com More


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It has not been a great six months for Jerry Kleiner and KDK restaurants.
First he closed Marche, which in its heyday was a top spot for viewing celebrities (I nearly collided with Martina Navratilova there one night). Then chef Jackie Shen departed from Red Light, the kitty-corner cousin to Marche, on Jan. 1.
Last week, the state forced the closure of Gioco, Kleiner's South-Loop restaurant, citing unpaid taxes. And now comes word that Red Light is closed, likely for good.
"It's run its course," Kleiner said of Red Light, one of the early KDK concepts that turned Randolph Street into a virtual restaurant row. "The concept is a little tired for us. To...


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It's easier to just call me "Porter".
My wife & I have the same first name.
I'm deeply in love with my wife.
I've got the two best kids on earth.
There's nothing better than spending a day on the river with family & friends.
I read the instruction manual for my camera.
I think my dog is mentally challenged.
I have one cat that has herp derp eyes.
My favorite band is The 4onthefloor. Go check them out.
Live music is better than recorded music.
I sometimes drive like I stole it.
I sometimes swear like a sailor.
The game is "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck".
Smile. It's contagious. Frowning causes wrinkles.
Fearless wedding photographer in Minnesota & Wisconsin
Studio is located at 170 East 3rd Street • Winona, Minnesota
Open by appointment only
©2002-2014 Shannon Porter Photography LLC | All Rights Reserved


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To Succeed in Fashion: Find Mentors, Vendors and Business Partners You Trust
We've always got our eyes peeled for the next big names and how they're beating the odds. We recently visited fashion expo Coterie, a three-day tradeshow in New York, featuring everything from ready-to-wear to accessories to shoes that draws buyers from department stores and boutiques stocking up for upcoming seasons. This event helped launch big names like Juicy Couture and Kate Spade so we visited the TMRW Lounge, a special space for emerging talent. We wanted to meet the creative minds behind the latest lines, to find out what obstacles they're facing and how they're overcoming them. Take a look at their lessons learned.
How Data Helps This Fashion E-Commerce CEO Stock Up for the Fall Season