text:
Quiet Hands
TW: Ableism, abuse
Explaining my reaction to this:
means I need to explain my history with this:
When I was a little girl, they held my hands down in tacky glue while I cried.
I'm a lot bigger than them now. Walking down a hall to a meeting, my hand flies out to feel the texture on the wall as I pass by.
"Quiet hands," I whisper.
My hand falls to my side.
When I was six years old, people who were much bigger than me with loud echoing voices held my hands down in textures that hurt worse than my broken wrist while I cried and begged and pleaded and screamed.
In a classroom of language-impaired kids, the most common phrase is a metaphor.
"Quiet hands!"
A student pushes at a piece of paper, flaps their hands, stacks their fingers against their palm, pokes at a pencil, rubs their palms through their hair. It's silent, until:
"Quiet hands!"
I've yet to meet a student who didn't instinctively know to pull back and put their hands in their lap at this order. Thanks to applied behavioral analysis, each student learned this phrase in preschool at the latest, hands slapped down and held to a table or at their sides for a count of three until they learned to restrain themselves at the words.
The literal meaning of the words is irrelevant when you're being abused.
When I was a little girl, I was autistic. And when you're autistic, it's not abuse. It's therapy.
Hands are by definition quiet, they can't talk, and neither can half of these students…
(Behavior is communication.)
(Not being able to talk is not the same as not having anything to say.)
Things, slowly, start to make a lot more sense.
Roger needs a modified chair to help him sit. It came to the classroom fully equipped with straps to tie his hands down.
We threw the straps away. His old school district used them.
He was seven.
Terra can read my flapping better than my face. "You've got one for everything," she says, and I wish everyone could look at my hands and see I need you to slow down or this is the best thing ever or can I please touch or I am so hungry I think my brain is trying to eat itself.
But if they see my hands, I'm not safe.
"They watch your hands," my sister says, "and you might as well be flipping them off when all you're saying is this menu feels nice."
When we were in high school, my occasional, accidental flap gave my other autistic friend panic attacks.
I've been told I have a manual fixation. My hands are one of the few places on my body that I usually recognize as my own, can feel, and can occasionally control. I am fascinated by them. I could study them for hours. They're beautiful in a way that makes me understand what beautiful means.
My hands know things the rest of me doesn't. They type words, sentences, stories, worlds that I didn't know I thought. They remember passwords and sequences I don't even remember needing. They tell me what I think, what I know, what I remember. They don't even always need a keyboard for that.
My hands are an automatic feedback loop, touching and feeling simultaneously. I think I understand the whole world when I rub my fingertips together.
When I'm brought to a new place, my fingers tap out the walls and tables and chairs and counters. They skim over the paper and make me laugh, they press against each other and remind me that I am real, they drum and produce sound to remind me of cause-and-effect. My fingers map out a world and then they make it real.
My hands are more me than I am.
But I'm to have quiet hands.
I know. I know.
Someone who doesn't talk doesn't need to be listened to.
I know.
Behavior isn't communication. It's something to be controlled.
I know.
Flapping your hands doesn't do anything for you, so it does nothing for me.
I know.
I can control it.
I know.
If I could just suppress it, you wouldn't have to do this.
I know.
They actually teach, in applied behavioral analysis, in special education teacher training, that the most important, the most basic, the most foundational thing is behavioral control. A kid's education can't begin until they're "table ready."
I know.
I need to silence my most reliable way of gathering, processing, and expressing information, I need to put more effort into controlling and deadening and reducing and removing myself second-by-second than you could ever even conceive, I need to have quiet hands, because until I move 97% of the way in your direction you can't even see that's there's a 3% for you to move towards me.
I know.
I need to have quiet hands.
I know. I know.
There's a boy in the supermarket, rocking back on his heels and flapping excitedly at a display. His mom hisses "quiet hands!" and looks around, embarrassed.
I catch his eye, and I can't do it for myself, but my hands flutter at my sides when he's looking.
(Flapping is the new terrorist-fist-bump.)
Let me be extremely fucking clear: if you grab my hands, if you grab the hands of a developmentally disabled person, if you teach quiet hands, if you work on eliminating "autistic symptoms" and "self-stimulatory behaviors," if you take away our voice, if you…
if you…
if you…
Then I…
351 Responses
I love this post. It's why I've never tried to control how my son moves his body, expresses himself through his movements. It's why I've never learned the phrase 'quiet hands' and have never told my son to stop flapping, jumping, hopping, dancing, or talking. It's why I'd rather homeschool him than get him 'table ready.' Just because it looks different doesn't make it wrong. Thank you for sharing this story. It should be passed around to everyone.
After reading this I find myself so very VERY happy that I have never asked my son to be silent. His motions, though few, help him understand the world don't they? Thank you for sharing this!
This post gives me chills, I never knew such "treatment" was the standard. I might actually be better off not having been treated as a youngster, if that's what's done. Most of the pain in my life has come from trying not to display symptoms of autism in public.
[…] a violence I still can't talk about, in the […]
[…] Quiet Hands appears here by permission. […]
Wow….as a special education teacher, I have certainly used 'quiet hands/mouth/feet' before with kiddos. Our intentions are obviously meant to help not to hurt, but this sounds like learning to be table ready and have quiet hands was torture for you. I would love to know if you have suggestions for teachers, perhaps an alternative way to know the kiddo is dialed in and learning without having to stop the stimming. Sometimes the lack of knowledge, even in the community of special education is alarming. I co-teach kindergarten, and while watching the children play, I noticed one child stimming with a car in front of his eyes, and pointed it out to the other teacher as it was the first time I had seen this behavior, and she looked at me confused…and asked, in all honesty, "what's stimming?" I was shocked…here was a supposed educator of a class of 11, with 8 having a diagnosis of PDD/autism and she didn't know what that was…needless to say I will not be teaching with her next year. Any advice on 'quiet hands' alternitives would be greatly appreciaated!
I was raised without knowing I was autistic, or what stimming was. I just had MANY well meaning friends and relatives tell me not to do it. I had to find some alternatives, like long necklaces with multi-textured pendants, or a pencil or beanie baby to fidget with. Being able to understand some general stims, and getting to know the kids well enough that you can give them a possible alternative stim if absolutely necessary (if it's seriously scaring the other kids and they can do an alternative) is what's worked for me.
Why don't you, with all your expertise, teach your co-worker instead of abandoning her to her ignorance.
Make use of it, teach them to type! And teach them American sign language! They will learn it so fast it will knock your socks off!!
Wow. I had no idea. I am sorry. Thank you for educating me. My son doesn't get ABA, but his behaviorist (who was ABA trained) uses that phrase. But, he doesn't use it when my son is stimming: he uses it when my son is using his hands to be aggressive. I don't like the phrase though because I think it's imprecise. I use "gentle hands" instead. My son doesn't flap a lot, just when he's super excited, so it makes me happy to see because I know when he's doing it, he's happy.
Just because a person is not looking at you and/or sitting still does NOT mean they are not paying attention.
Thank you so much for your honesty and courage. You write beautifully, every word carries your sincerity, your kindness, your anger, and your strength.
Well SAID.
Wow. This really hit a chord with me. I have 2 sons on the severe end of the autism spectrum and one of them is a very prolific hand flapper. You have completely opened my eyes…Thank you for that!
I'm flapping with you! My son has Autism and I NEVER, EVER stop him from 'stimming', in fact I join in! There are no quiet hands in my house 🙂 xxxxxxxx
Bless you 🙂 – Diagnosed w/ Asperger's, thank God I haven't been to ABA…
My hands are more me than I am. My hands are more me than I am. My hands are more me than I am. My hands are more me than I am. Oh yeah. I am a musician, an organist, a pianist, a recorder player, used to be a guitar player, I am an artist, I am a writer/typer. My hands are more me than I am. Quiet hands? NO. This is how I communicate. Everything.
That video makes me feel anxious, like I can't breathe.
Wow. Wow. Wow. I can't think of anything to say except Wow.
My son is a flapper, also a jumper. To be honest I've never even heard of "quiet hands" before I read this. I would never think of asking him to stop (except for when he accidentally hits me or his brother in the face) but having this insight is SO incredible.
Wow. Thank you.
I have a non-neurotypical child who flaps. She isn't autistic. She's ADD plus some other stuff, but still, I confess to asking her not to flap her hands when talking to me. I *can't* talk to her when she's distracting me, any more than I can hear her when there's a radio or TV going in the room. Maybe I'm not "neurotypical" either. She wants me to hear her. She wants me to be able to focus on her. I've asked her to please clasp her hands in front of her instead so people can focus on her face. She does, but she hunches up like she's cold – or beaten down. I wish I could tune out the flapping and focus on her. I can't. I turn off the TV and radio so I can hear her. She has to turn off the hands so I can see her.
[…] read this post Quiet Hands today. Our ABA therapists don't use those terms. But it made me think that I need to […]
Phenomenal post. Wow.
I am so, so glad I was not diagnosed as a child. Oh, dear God, so glad. I used to run my hands along the walls of my school, and play with my fingers, and suck on my shirt sleeve, and play with my hair, and no one gave me a hard time, because they just figured I was different, not sick.
Just a note to thank you for teaching me about my own sons. What a gift you have written for all those living with ASD (especially the young and non-verbal) and their parents. I can't imagine how many lives this is changing right now as we speak. It's very powerful advocating, and I am grateful for your hands which typed this out, and your heart for sharing it.
'EnjoyHi5Autism' is sharing with Developmental Disabilities, Special Needs Parents, Self-Advocates, Educators, and Families on our social networks and micro-blogs at https://www.facebook.com/EnjoyHi5Autism ; http://enjoyinghi5autism.blogspot.com ; https://twitter.com/#!/EnjoyHi5Autism
Someone asked if an alternate stim could be found. Sometimes an "alternate stim" is not going to work. Sometimes stims are just not interchangeable. I had someone tell me that my swaying from side to side made them feel seasick. Although I think that what that particular person was trying to say was that they did not want me to stim at all, I said I would try to transfer it to some other body part, so started wiggling my feet. But, sometimes I can't transfer a stim, because it serves a function. In my family, sometimes our various stims get on each other's nerves. We do not assume that one person's needs take precedence over another's. and, luckily, we can work it out a bit. Sometimes I will tell my son to stop doing something because it is interfering with my own needs, and then I think about it and decide that it won't bother me if, for example, I put on my headphones. Or if, instead of waving something in my face, he waves it a bit further back so that I don't feel I am being attacked! For the person whose child flapping is distracting them, maybe you could turn away a bit or even close your eyes for a minute, if that would cut out the flapping motion a bit. It should not always be up to the person with the stim to accommodate the person who is being annoyed. Since we all have various stims in my family, I am really aware of this.
I wrote something on my Facebook page today, in response to an article about a symphony conductor who stopped a concert to ask a person with a disability to leave: "This is what I do not like about the whole "classical music" kind of atmosphere. One is supposed to sit still like a statue using only one's ears to hear the music. If one is a performer, one is supposed to only move those body parts that do the actual noise-making. 😉 I had all "extraneous" body motions (aka "stimming"?) trained out of me by various music teachers and sarcastic commenters. It has taken me decades to get back to anywhere near being able to feel the music and my body and I am not there completely yet. Maybe when I am 72. I was thinking about the whole music-playing and concert going thing after reading Julia Bascom's excellent post on "Quiet Hands" last night." It is extremely difficult for me to let my body move in the way that it really needs to, even though I am a proponent of neurodiversity, an "out Autistic," a disability rights activist. All that early "training" has not "helped" me, although I am sure it makes others feel more comfortable with themselves.
Why is the guy in the movie DOING that? I am curious, and it still makes me feel ill to look at it, so I am trying to avoid it, but I want to read the responses here as this is an important topic to me.
This is fucking perfect. Thank you *so* much for writing and sharing. I work with children with autism, and we join them with delight in their stims.
beautifully said! thank you!
I hope this goes viral. I hope the world sees this. This post has the power to change an entire failed system.
As a father of a boy who stimms quite a bit, I found this post VERY helpful. We do Son Rise at our house and we love him as he is. Most of the time, training against stimming is not for the child's benefit, but for the parents to be more comfortable in public. It's quite silly.
Thank you so, so much for writing this. My four-year-old boy has autism and is constantly feeling or bending things. He also flaps his arms when he's excited, which gets us some looks but doesn't bother me one bit. I love that he has a way to tell us he likes something!
I'm so sorry about the way people treated your stimming when you were a child. I can't imagine how hard it was, but I hope you keep writing and sharing more insight like this. It is especially helpful for people like me whose child is nonverbal. Thanks again.
[…] the blog, Just Stimming (October 14, 2011), a heartwrenching […]
[…] that these basic steps of self care- and that often is what it ends up being in a way- are wrong. Quiet Hands and You look like /are acting like a R[-word] and people will think you are crazy and […]
This was really, really, really hard to read. I was diagnosed late, so I was never subjected to ABA, but I'm almost nauseated at the thought of being held down or forced to touch textures. I wish I could say something to make it better. I wish this wasn't acceptable. I wish everyone who subjects children to ABA would read this and realize how horrible it is so no one else has to go through it. But I know that's part of what I'm working towards, a future where autistic people are safe, and this reminds me how unsafe we are right now.
We use 'hands down' with my granddaughter only when she gets to close to people or things that could either harm her or them. At school they do try to 'control' the movements of the kids more than I think they should. Their reasoning is fear of injury, accidental or on purpose. I have said it is like telling a deaf person to not use their hand to talk. Society tries to hard to make them 'fit in' instead of learning how to communicate and teach on the level they can understand. Why don't we make orchestra conductors learn to direct without their hands? To me, it is the same ending, silence.
[…] basic steps of self care — and that often is what it ends up being in a way — are wrong. Quiet Hands and You look like/are acting like a R[-word] and people will think you are crazy and countless […]
Thanks for sharing this. Been trying to advocate in favour of letting children with developmental delays let off steam as they see fit. They NEED it. Who does it hurt that they flap their hands or mumble or even squeal? Relax people! I will be sharing this post. Thanks again.
[…] This is a response post to this blog here: https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
This was beautiful and sad and eye opening. My daughter hand flaps and stims and I adore it. I do it with her. She expresses her joy, her surprise, her excitement in her stimming and the thought of anyone trying to stop that angers me. We have an IEP meeting coming up and while I hadn't even thought of it before that they may have "issue" with it, I will now be asking them about it and how they handle it. She stims usually for seconds, certainly not long enough to be disruptive to her or anyone else. She would be done before they even finished the sentence to stop.
If I EVER find out that someone has physically stopped my daughter from her hand flapping, omg.
I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post. For helping me see there could be an issue with how others "deal" with my daughter's stimming because it's never BEEN anything other than a part of her to us.
Oh my God. You have touched me in a way that I was not expecting. As a mother of a son with autism, I love his hand flapping and do not allow his intervention program to silence them. But I use "quiet hands" liberally; when he's drumming on the couch at midnight. When he's stimming so hard the room begins to spin even for me. When he looks like he might fly away.
Thank you so much for reminding me that this is HIM. And I need to treasure whatever it is that makes him who he is.
Quiet hands no more.
[…] Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom […]
Thank you for this. My son does not have autism, he has Down syndrome. Some of his stimming is abusive (head banging and slapping himself) so we are working on alternatives for that (I give deep pressure scalp and jaw massages.) Others (like rocking on his back and playing in my hair) are fine. He is a toddler (looks younger) and therefore most of his "quirky" behaviors are still cute to outsiders. I admit that recently, I had begin to worry about how he will be perceived by the public when he doing those behaviors. I thought about beginning to correct him. Because of you, I won't. I will continue to rejoice in his wide open joy, the way he gets so excited and sways his head and body with his eyes focused upward, the way he IS. Thank you.
[…] little more than a month after I wrote Quiet Hands, I woke up and found that the number of hits on this site had erupted. Quiet Hands had gone viral, […]
[…] little more than a month after I wrote Quiet Hands, I woke up and found that the number of hits on this site [i.e. Just Stimming — ed.] had erupted. […]
I am a special needs teacher and have never prevented a student from flapping or finger twitching movements but I do have a student now who claps incessantly. It is extremely loud and disturbing to the rest of the class. What suggestions do you have to come to a compromise in this situation which is beneficial to all? Thanks!
beautifully stated, very moving and so important! I have a year old grandlittle who is blind, not autistic, but have already started hearing that there are some self soothing, or self stimulating behaviors ( head slapping, eye poking, arm waving, hand flapping, rocking) that might become "issues" and to be on the lookout to be correcting or redirecting her. I think maybe we will just prevent the eye poking, and head hitting! I hope you gain what comfort there is in hearing that you may be changing the minds, hearts and knowing of many. You are making a difference! Thank you.
[…] Quiet Hands […]
I just shared a link to this article with my classmates in an online ABA training program. Someone asked a question about teaching replacement behaviors for stereotypy, and I was so thankful to be able to share this as a counterpoint and resource.
How different it would have been if the guy in the clip had tried manipulating his own hands the same was she was, just to see how it felt, to at least see about gaining some insight. Or if he'd held his own hands out to hers and waited to see if she felt like touching him.
[…] for example, the post entitled Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom. Julia has autism, although I suspect most people reading her work would never […]
[…] think a lot of the people who read my blog are also people who have read Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom. (I actually already linked to it in my own Rocking (and Flapping) at a 1000 […]
[…] else's blog post, well actually it started with the practices described in it. The post is Quiet Hands; and you should read it because its really good. It made me angry. I didn't have those […]
[…] in October, Julia Bascom of JustStimming wrote a post reacting to a moment on Glee called "Quiet Hands", In it, she showed beautifully the struggle that thousands (millions?) of Autistic kids and adults […]
[…] read an incredibly moving and revealing post by Julia Bascom at Just Stimming. The post was called Quiet Hands. Reading that post was a revelation to me and it caused quite a stir in the autism community as it […]
[…] I think this post may have reached iconic status by now but in case you haven't read it: Quiet Hands and Dear "Autism […]
Lovely. And a good reminder for all of us parents.
[…] without creating a burst of noise, and also of destigmatizing behavior for which they were punished and bullied as kids. Returning to the neurotypical world after a few days at Autreat was like landing in Times […]
[…] modification' for people with intellectual disabilities, I was trained to teach 'QUIET HANDS'. … and 'age-appropriate' behavior…. to facilitate 'fitting […]
[…] Stimming – Julia Bascom is autistic and her writing is powerful. Her blog post Quiet Hands is one of the most powerful things I've read and lead to the Loud Hands […]
[…] "Stille Hände" als Tortur [Englisch] […]
This is an old post…I don't know how I landed here but I have two comments: 1) Beautiful. The words written here are hauntingly beautiful. Thank you for giving us a glimpse into you… 2) I actually have general anxiety disorder to a fairly high level. Though I am doing a hundred times better thanks to psychiatric counselling and medication, I have crazy busy hands when I have an anxious moment/episode. For me, allowing my hands (or my feet) to tap, bounce, move around, pick, etc actually increases the strength of my anxiety exponentially. Reducing the movement of my hands or feet is paramount for me to come out of anxiety without having a full blown panic attack. It never even occurred to me that the effect could be opposite with someone who has autism or is otherwise developmentally challenged. Thank you for educating me.
Thank you for this. Sometimes I want to beat people over the head with this message. I have four children, three are old enough to talk but don't. They stayed "pre-verbal" until at least three years of age. Pre-verbal doesn't mean they aren't communicating. My oldest talked exclusively in signs until she almost six. Not all of it was ASL, but she got her point across. We left at least three speech therapists because they couldn't understand her.
Thank you for speaking for those who have no voice.
I love hands. They are beautiful and they make beautiful things, and they are so expressive. I can spend ages looking at people's hands.
Thank you for explaining other ways in which people use them.
I've read this over and over again, and I cry every time. I send this to everyone. Thank you so much for sharing.
[…] read this with sympathy. It's a deeply personal criticism by autistic writer Julia Bascom of therapy […]
[…] I read this blog post and I thought about violence. But about how many people will think I'm silly for thinking it's violence. (I don't have defenses for that, either, so we're just going to assume we all are on the same ground – tying your students down to stop them soothing themselves with movement is violence.) […]
[…] Just Stimming – Julia, the mind behind "Just Stimming", is the person who brought the Quiet Hands essay to the world. But that's not the only thing of value on her blog – nearly every one of her […]
Thank you for a much needed wake up call. I hear you, loud and clear.
Beautifully written. I'm undiagnosed but extremely likely Aspies (I'll spare you the list of reasons), and just a few days ago I was reading through lessons for the Education for Ministry class for Episcopalians, having just started the class. Most of the material is excellent, but inside the "core" material is a section about how to communicate within class that seemed to be…well. The point seemed to be to instill unspoken but very definite *shame* around a whole range of behaviors that are instinctive to me. Not just interrupting (I've trained myself not to do that in settings where it's not accepted, largely by curtailing my level of engagement), but also eye contact (life has given me a complex about that: I have intense eyes, so when I do look, I'm "staring") and body language and fidgeting. (How can I sit comfortably without my steady, almost-invisible back and forth rock? How can I listen without playing out complex rhythms with my fingertips until they come out even?)
Just reading it made me anxious. I made a point from childhood of making my tics small, to the point where some people will think I'm lying when I first say I have them. But the ones I have, I NEED, and reading a lesson designed to show the people around me that my best listening behavior is disrespectful made my chest close up. And then I thought I might write to them about it…and then I thought there was no point making an issue of it when maybe we'd never even come around to that part. But now I think again that maybe I will. They can't know who they're hurting if no one tells them. Thank you.
This is hard to say because I can see that your experience was very hurtful…
But I loved this scene in Glee because I viewed Emma as someone with a lot of anxiety… and having experienced anxiety as well I know how nice it can feel for someone to hold you. Not to restrain you, not to hold you down, not because there is something wrong with you, but to support you and say "I'm here for you." I know how it feels for my anxiety to slow with someone holding my hand or holding me, when my anxiety just gets overwhelming.
And I hope I don't appear insensitive, it just might be another side, I really want to hear how you feel about this.
I was also restrained quite a bit in my childhood. I had tantrums and was diagnosed with ADHD. The feelings I remember is first being overwhelmed, throwing a tantrum, and then being terrified when I was held down. To tell you the truth I think what I really have is Asperger's.
As someone who is on the spectrum like you, hearing about your experience hurts me, too. It makes me deeply angry at the injustices done against you and others.
Please keep writing! You are a wonderful writer.
[…] Julia Bascom from her blog Just Stimming, her post Quiet Hands: […]
[…] Quiet Hands […]
[…] 3) The Use of "Quiet Hands" […]
[…] voice. Things started to come together in the fall of 2011, and they got a jumpstart when my essay "Quiet Hands" — about the abuse and silencing of autistic people — went viral. A project centered around […]
[…] behavior is bad and must be stopped/controlled. Just don't; you'll end up with this: https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ BETTER […]
[…] I will never understand how people can justify the use of "quiet hands". If you are unaware of what this phrase means, or of the implications for autistic people, you need to read Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom. […]
[…] Other essays were heartbreaking, particularly "Quiet Hands" by Julia Bascom (which you can read here) and "Killing Words" by Zoe Gross (here), which explored the treatment that autistic children […]
[…] that tries to turn them neurotypical instead of a neurodivergent person who can cope. (See also: quiet hands.) But that's a sign of the mental health system […]
Thank you.
Now I have a paraphrase from "Finding Nemo" in my head…. "Just keep stimming… just keep stimming…"
My teacher used to say "good hands Alex" I never understood why I had to stop, flapping felt great to me! I do try to control it in a public place. Because I might be bullied or something. http://www.alexlowery.co.uk
I have a question – what do you do if the stim in question is something socially "icky" but not necessarily injurious? My 8 year old has a tendency to try out new behaviors, and if it works for him, it stays – the one he's been doing the last 2 months is picking/rubbing the side of his nostril. Most of the time I try to ignore it, but he really shouldn't touch others after poking around in there, plus he's worn a red/raw spot on the side of his nose. He's super high-functioning, but half the time I don't think he's even aware that he's rubbing at his nose. It doesn't seem to bug his friends, but it really bothers his sisters.
[…] Quiet Hands – by Julia Bascom […]
[…] in your direction you can't even see that's there's a 3% for you to move towards me" (https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/). I wrote this article to remind neurotypicals to make that effort to move 3% of the way towards […]
[…] her post, "Quiet Hands," Julia Bascom shares moments from her past when those in power demanded that she stop […]
[…] children should be forced to endure things they find traumatic for the sake of looking normal (https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/), or that the caregiver is always right […]
[…] autistic people, and for good reasons (many of which are nicely explained in the blog post "Quiet Hands" — and a more academic review of why it may be a really bad idea is: […]
[…] Quiet Hands […]
[…] and I have entered new territory as parents. There are different views on the subject of swimming. Quiet hands is a phrase that is common in the autism community. I love the view the linked blog post gives on […]
[…] Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom […]
While I'm grateful to not have grown up with "quiet hands", I still did (and continue to do) many things on that list. They told me not to do it, grabbed at my hands, etc. One time I plucked a leaf off a tree while coming back from the park at summer camp, and the counselor reprimanded me and I had to hold her hand until we returned to the building. I wish I could send this to those people who told me not to do those things when I was a kid
[…] Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom from Just Stimming […]
[…] i just read the quiet hands […]
[…] for english speakers : a great blog that i just discovered via this post called "Quiet Hands". how can i not love her ? – the way she talks about maths, seriously ! […]
I am a riding instructor, and I say "quiet hands" all the time – to NT folks. It's important not to move your hands more than necessary when riding because you are communicating with the horse through its mouth, and s/he will not know what you mean if they aren't motions the horse knows already (a pull to the right means turn right, a pull back means stop, etc.). Should I ever have an autistic student who needs to flap/stim with their hands, is there anything you can recommend? I know all people are individuals and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another, but I have found ways to deal with common riding difficulties based on common experiences (my students who took a lot of ballet have more problems with keeping their heels down and frequently benefit from the same instructions on how to change this). I just don't know what one would be in this case, besides a very gentle horse.
I've ridden for a while, and I know shortening and lengthening the reins, while signaling the horse to 'stretch out' and then collect slightly, gives a good bit of tactile stimulation while being something the horse understands if it's trained to adjust its head based on the rein length. That might work, or starting on the lunge so the kid can put down the reins and stim, then playing a game to see how many circles they can hold the reins between stim-breaks? If there's a horse that can work with a kid holding its mane and the reins loosely, having the kid hold the reins with some slack and then pinch the mane between various fingers, or 'climb' hands up the mane (into jumping position) and back down (to normal seat) could also work. Or breaks for stretches, like around the world, leaning back, tail-and-ear-touches, etc., could help too. Just some thoughts ^-^
[…] But instinctively I know I can't, and should not do that to J. The quiet game, as it is called, would be a torture to him. I really kind of mean torture. To get a better sense of the meaning I want to impart, please read this: Quiet Hands. […]
[…] despite not being intrinsically motivated, usually because we got punished for getting it wrong. Like keeping our hands still. Or forgetting to put on deodorant (I still don't think body odour, mine or other […]
[…] Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom […]
This makes me cry… IMO, stimming, as long as the person is not hurting anyone, or anything, is perfectly acceptable, and I don't stop my son from doing his stims.
If someone is embarrassed, or bothered, by a person with autism stimming, then they need to grow up, and get over themself.
This is a fantastic post. Thank you. I do not have autism, but I work with several children who do. I want to help them, and am always interested in new/different/natural perspectives. I tried to find a way to e-mail you, but didn't see a way to send a private message– I'd love to ask you more questions so that I'm able to get a better understanding of HOW to truly help without ever hurting. I can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.com if you're open to sharing more of your insight with me. Thank you again!
[…] friend recently shared this blog posting with me by a blogger/writer with autism, Julia Bascom. While watching television […]
[…] Julia Bascom on Quiet Hands […]
I've never encountered this type of treatment of kids in ABA before. The only time I've seen them try to stop a behavior is when it is harmful to themselves or others – like biting themselves or slapping themselves. If someone is out there teaching these things under the guise of ABA, they should be ashamed! We've never tried to stop my son's stimming (he rocks, paces & twists his hair). We are fortunate that he is verbal and was able to tell us that these things make him feel good. He has adapted using them in the situations he needs them in. It is 9 pm in my house when my 14 yr old puts on his headphones, finds his place on the sofa and rocks until his heart's content – or until it's 9:30, which is bedtime. 🙂 It's a nightly routine that I imagine helps him wind down from the day.
[…] this term makes me tear up. I can't explain it any better than these bloggers, so please read this, and this, and this. And let your child […]
Thank you for this post. When I worked with children with autism, I was always insistant to co-workers that if a stimming behavior was unacceptable that they help the child come up with a replacement behavior. "Quiet hands" equals a very frustrated individual and will most likely result in a meltdown, or if they have overcome meltdowns, quiet inner torture.
[…] of autistic people. Therapies supported by AS seek to force developmentally disabled individuals to act as if they do not have a disability. This is equivalent to demanding that all Deaf people communicate exclusively by talking and […]
[…] appear normal, they lock her up. They bind her hands (where her powers come from) with gloves – quiet hands – and they force her to conform or be locked away. This is what happens to autistic kids. We are […]
[…] Quiet Hands […]
[…] – try to make the unique go away, because it won't. Trying to make the unique disappear only makes the heart and soul of the PERSON disappear. Looking at the unique without fear, getting […]
[…] • Julia Bascom, "Quiet Hands," (her blog, Just Stimming) […]
[…] These articles could have included an explanation about how self-stimulatory behavior, like yelling, helps people, and not just autistic people, deal with the sensory overload they can experience in public. How about an interview or link to an autistic person's account, like this post, Quiet Hands? […]
[…] call for "quiet hands," preventing autistic children from communicating and denying them the attention they need […]
[…] was doing the best she could.I have PTSD.(So common as to be almost routine in autistic adults.)(When you're autistic, it's not abuse, it's therapy.)More than 90%, it is estimated, of people with developmental disabilities will experience sexual […]
[…] Quiet Hands from Just Stimming […]
[…] the key idea of each link I post, but they are all worth reading.] One of the first was "Quiet Hands." As I read this post, my heart sank. How many times have I, following the leads of the […]
[…] told them why demanding "Quiet hands" is never okay. And then I told them about Brooke's hands. I told them that, as I've […]
[…] adults, and many have been harmed by hand-over-hand teaching. Here's an example from Julia at juststimming.com. Jess who writes Diary of a Mom also wrote about "quiet hands" […]
[…] anyone, and there is no good reason to force a person to not do that anymore. Trying to make "quiet hands" is just a way to make us look normal, and I am offended by that. Focusing on real issues, on […]
[…] never overtly punished, for which I'm truly fortunate–too many Autistics have to suffer "quiet hands" reminders–but it was very clearly not […]
[…] Quiet Hands | Just Stimming… […]
[…] they are punished for it. Sometimes, the person gets their hands held down in tacky glue for flapping their hands. If an autistic person doesn't make eye contact, a teacher grabs their chin and makes […]
[…] to the concept of "quiet hands" was Julia Bascom's outstanding essay (https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/), which pulls no punches in explaining why "quiet hands" is abuse, plain and […]
This is so beautiful. My autistic son does the flapping and spinning. I let him but picking his lips is where I draw the line. He is 5. And is going to have another round of behavioral therapy. Now I'm thinking of Viking out because of this. I'm already going to homeschool him. I get a lot of crap from family though. They will say now your going to take behavioral therapy away then get won't have any therapies. No speech or occupational just himself and his interests and not forcing him to fit in. Letting him move at his own pace in life and being given love and acceptance.That doesn't seem bad? I need proof though or family will see me as crazy. Besides this article what other proof can I get that therapies are maybe not the best way to understand or "help" autistic individuals through out life?
*backing out. Typo
[…] Julia Bascom on Quiet Hands […]
[…] Quiet Hands | Just Stimming… – Oct 05, 2011 · Wow….as a special education teacher, I have certainly used 'quiet hands/mouth/feet' before with kiddos. Our intentions are obviously meant to help …… […]
[…] work to get ABA covered by insurers, among other things. ABA is somewhat controversial, both among autistic adults and among some parents of autistic children. I'll note that their focus here was not […]
[…] somewhere in there, well-meant intervention becomes abuse. It becomes "Quiet Hands" and pathologized childhoods. It gives the messages, however unintentionally, […]
[…] Quiet Hands – an article by Judy Bascom about how flapping is a form of communication, and "quiet hands" shuts that communication down. […]
In my secondary school there's this things called 'Quality Audience' where you have to have "empty hands, open minds". It always felt weird and a bit wrong when I was expected to put my pen down when the teacher was speaking so I never did- I would roll it around in my fingers and doodle in my page. If my PE teacher was speaking to us and I was fiddling with a PE ball or grass or something and looking away she'd ask me to repeat what she said-which I always did. I never knew I was stimming until I found out I have Asperger's and found this post (and looked it up). I'm so glad I was never statemented as a kid 'cos that'd mean I may of been made to do this in primary.
[…] – "I need to silence my most reliable way of gathering, processing, and expressing information, I need to put more effort into controlling and deadening and reducing and removing myself second-by-second than you could ever even conceive, I need to have quiet hands, because until I move 97% of the way in your direction you can't even see that's there's a 3% for you to move towards me." Quoted many times before. https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
I am entirely anti- quiet hands. I have autism, so do both my children. My son is an avid hand flapper and I will never, never tell him to stop. I am facing a problem though; he is flapping against his other hand and against hard object to the extend that he is rupturing his skin, bleeding, and leaving open wounds. He won't wear a bandaid to protect the wound and liquid bandaid rubs off fast with flapping. Can anyone think of a way I can help protect his fingers from harm/infection that does not restrict his right to free movement? I have tried gloves but he (like me) can't stand the feel of them and pulls them off (we've tried several fabric types.) Mittens seem to protect him but they severely limit him being able to do anything fine motor; I don't want that and I am sure he does not either.
Please say someone has an idea on how I can keep his fingers from harm! I refuse to do quiet hands. I'm also just so scared about the bleeding and opportunity for infection.
Thank you in advance for any ideas.
Is there a way you could tape a gauze pad over the sores? If he isn't allergic to the tape adhesive (I am and I can tell within a few minutes because it's unpleasantly itchy, so he would know very quickly and probably be able to communicate it to you), you could tape completely over the gauze and around his finger, putting enough pressure so he feels it but not so much to cut off circulation. There are ways of folding over one end of the tape so that you can easily peel it off again. There are gauze pads of various thickness and they can be cut down to size; I like them more than bandaids for larger wounds because I can tape the edges down flat and then, unlike a bandaid, moving against it doesn't pull at the unsecured part. Using thinner gauze pads (only a few layers) once they've healed could help prevent new sores as well. However, if he's against having things on his fingers at all, gauze pads might not help. He may be sensory-seeking in a way that he enjoys the slight pain of impact with his hand or a hard object; if that's the case, you might be able to suggest possible replacements. Suggest them when he isn't stimming so that he doesn't feel like you're trying to stop him, just offer him alternates and let him play. I know the feeling of having a hardcover book, small enough to hold between both hands comfortably, and slamming the covers together against the center pages of the book (making a 'clapping' motion, sort of) makes a decent impact that he might enjoy but isn't as painful or likely to cause sores.
[…] Quiet Hands | Just Stimming… – Oct 05, 2011 · Wow….as a special education teacher, I have certainly used 'quiet hands/mouth/feet' before with kiddos. Our intentions are obviously meant to help …… […]
[…] tool for justice. It certainly has occasionally–but we behavior analysts have a pretty rough history [[gay just stimming misbehavior]]. Further, all sorts of approaches get called "ABA," […]
[…] not seen as having an "inside", we're seen as things to be dealt with. "Quiet Hands". I've even heard of clicker training – yes, as in clicker training for dogs – […]
[…] not to be strange, and in part because a large amount of the mental health system is devoted to making us normal [cw: descriptions of psychiatric abuse of a child]. It's big for trans and LGBT people. But […]
[…] I was around 19, I realized what being autistic meant. It all started with a blog post about Glee. I read that post and couldn't stop thinking to myself: "That's me. That's […]
[…] promote ABA therapy, which causes seriouspsychological harm to the children that they use it on(https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ https://unstrangemind.wordpress.com/2013/01/27/no-you-dont/). They areconstantly looking for a […]
[…] Quiet Hands […]
[…] could be physically painful for them. Julia Bascom writes about how horrible that experience is here. Eye contact is similar; many Autistic people have also talked about direct eye contact as being a […]
[…] dem Tisch zu halten, umfasst – kann physisch schmerzhaft für es sein. Julia Bascom schreibt hier darüber wie grauenhaft diese Erfahrung ist. Beim Augenkontakt ist es ähnlich, viele Autisten […]
[…] Read the whole post here: https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
[…] Quiet Hands isn't harmless. It teaches us that we are mistakes. It silences a big part of our voice. It […]
[…] Quiet Hands (an autistic person's description of an incredibly common violation in ABA therapy, as she has experienced and observed being done to others) […]
[…] I found the blog post I later reblogged, called "Quiet Hands" by Julia Bascom. It's beautiful and thought-provoking. After I read that, I messaged […]
[…] society where someone flapping their hands will be stared at and pitied, or told "quiet hands!" rather than be seen for the joy they're […]
[…] "Quiet Hands", Julia Bascom uses the phrase "And when you're autistic, it's not abuse. It's […]
[…] "I would never stop kids from stimming!" […]
[…] "I would never stop kids from stimming!" […]
Amazing, thank you for posting this.
[…] Table ready, I think. […]
[…] of "quiet hands". If you are unfamiliar with this you can read more about it over at Just Stimming's Quiet Hands post. As I read this remarkable post and thought about it and the whole idea of quiet hands in […]
[…] The following is a discussion of by of Julia Bascom's powerful narrative Quiet Hands. The full text can be found at : https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
[…] publicado originalmente no dia 05/10/2011 aqui […]
[…] world. Some of these accounts are troubling, like Julia's beautiful and poetic piece "Quiet Hands" or Marie King's piece on food, and make me so grateful that I can carve out our own […]
[…] Zudem berichteten manche erwachsene Autisten von ihren traumatischen Kindheitserfahrungen, die zu lebenslangen Angsterkrankungen beigetragen haben (z.B. Julia Bascom in "Quiet Hands": […]
[…] say, an autism diagnosis and I was displaying the same behaviors I've mentioned. People would hold my hands down. I would become even more scared, even more frustrated with myself. I would probably lash out, at a […]
[…] of "quiet hands". If you are unfamiliar with this you can read more about it over at Just Stimming's Quiet Hands post. As I read this remarkable post and thought about it and the whole idea of quiet hands in […]
[…] I found the blog post I later reblogged, called "Quiet Hands" by Julia Bascom. It's beautiful and thought-provoking. After I read that, I messaged […]
[…] Source: Quiet Hands | Just Stimming… […]
[…] safe and comfortable. Discuss ways to adapt to your child's sensitivities, like movement breaks, respecting their need for stimming and not forcing eye contact when they feel overstimulated. Then put it in the […]
I hope the next person, no, DEMON who says "Quiet Hands" to ANYONE burns in hell-fire.
This crap ain't therapy.
It's a horror story come true.
[…] as is my own, but when there are a lot of people who think that our neurology needs to be cured by torture or poison, to be safe we separate ourselves somewhat…it's in addition to the fact that […]
[…] either by putting their children through vile "therapies" like ABA (Julia Bascom wrote this personal experience of this therapy, with the haunting quote "when you're autistic, it's […]
[…] One of the most important pieces on the subject was written by Julia Bascom, an Autistic writer called "Quiet Hands": https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
[…] this for many years, from "Jim Sicnlair's Don't Mourn For Us" to Julia Bascom's "Quiet Hands" to the millions of Autistic self-advocates every day who speak their truth online and […]
[…] Quiet Hands, […]
[…] One of the most important pieces on the subject was written by Julia Bascom, an Autistic writer called "Quiet Hands": https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
[…] ↑ Quiet Hands by Julia Bascom […]
"safe hands" is what I hear most often. It's so ingrained in my students that one of them told me "safe hands" when I was scratching myself.
[…] society where someone flapping their hands will be stared at and pitied, or told "quiet hands!" rather than be seen for the joy they're […]
[…] to avoid things that cause us pain or discomfort, communication that should be heard…again, forcing us not to stim or forcing eye contact to make us more like you is wrong, you're breaking us, not fixing […]
[…] Selbststimmulierendes Verhalten, wie z.B. Händeflattern (nur am Rande erwähnt) wird als nicht zu verstärkendes Verhalten genannt. Hierzu empfehle ich die Lektüre von "Quiet Hands". […]
[…] when and where will you help make it end? *** Articles on ABA · Quiet Hands: https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ · Have Some ABA, or Else: http://autismwomensnetwork.org/have-some-aba-or-else/ […]
[…] hands," "hands down") and physical prompts to prevent children from stimming (again, see this post by Julia Bascom).-Using functioning labels to define a child's abilities (see this post at […]
[…] hands of someone who wants to do them harm. A lot of us live these nightmares in seclusion rooms. We get punished for flapping or making a noise or dropping a pencil or moving in the wrong way or if we argue with someone we […]
[…] of abuse done to us through electric shock and aversive therapies and forced normalization and telling people they can't move their hands and they cut our vocal cords because we scream too […]
[…] Источник: Just Stimming Перевод: Проект Про аутизм […]
[…] to avoid things that cause us pain or discomfort, communication that should be heard…again, forcing us not to stim or forcing eye contact to make us more like you is wrong, you're breaking us, not fixing us) […]
[…] akzeptiert? Warum ich ABA verlassen habe (eine Übersetzung) ABA – Bericht eines "Klienten" Quiet Hands My Thoughts on ABA und und und […]
[…] the repetitive behaviors of catching sun sparkles and world tails it would likely be referred to as stimming and adults around me might try to stop the behavior. If that had happened I may never have sorted […]
[…] Источник: Just Stimming… Перевод: Про аутизм […]
[…] to force us into becoming Indistinguishable From Peers (ABA, read stories of the horror from both someone who suffered through it and who once did it, and about its lifelong […]
[…] stimming is actually an effective means of self-regulating, and that it improves their performance. Some adults report that their ABA therapists' efforts to reduce hand-flapping and other "stereotypy" […]
[…] Quiet Hands – This powerful first person narrative about what it feels like to told to quiet one's "stimming" or "flapping" hand behavior has helped change my perspective on the ethics of a purely behavioral approach to extinguishing these behaviors, when they might serve a purpose to the child and therefore be extremly painful for the child to stop doing. […]
[…] Manos Tranquilas – Esta poderosa narración de primera persona acerca de lo que se siente al decirle a callar su "estimulación" o "aletear" el comportamiento de la mano ha ayudado a cambiar mi perspectiva sobre la ética de un enfoque puramente conductual a extinguir estos comportamientos, cuando podrían servir a un Propósito para el niño y por lo tanto ser extremadamente doloroso para que el niño deje de hacer. […]
[…] Quiet Hands […]
[…] shouldn't stop it because, well, it's a person calming themselves or expressing themselves. (Go read this now. And be prepared to […]
[…] body language, eye contact and speech patterns, does not come intuitively to everyone. Things like flapping your hands or not making normative amounts of eye contact aren't hurting anyone and should be an accepted […]
[…] Bascom's 'Quiet Hands', about the mistreatment of autistic people who want to use their hands instead of their voice to […]
[…] forever as the weirdest girl in school; held down by doctors; and punished via hand-slapping, hand-holding, finger-bending and/or having to sit on my hands until I could be […]
[…] You do not have to tell them to stop. Do not let someone else tell you it needs to stop. Read this. Share it. It's […]
Traiteur Rabat Regal; Traiteur de ronome au Maroc
This is my expert
I was forced to sit on my hands a lot as a kid. So did the other kids who had autism or ADHD.
[…] Source: Quiet Hands […]
[…] This heartbreaking post from JustStimming talks about her experience with ABA therapy as an abusive, controlling form of torture. […]
[…] behaviors that are coping mechanisms. Julia Bascom wrote her perspective from going through it in Quiet Hands (with the haunting line "And when you're autistic, it's not abuse. It's therapy) and […]
[…] which mandates physical restraint to force a patient to sit still, describe their experiences as incredibly traumatic. A therapy with such capacity for damage, intended to be performed on patients less able or unable […]
Thank you so much for sharing this! My parents never realized I was actually autistic, but they "trained" me not to stim anyway. I would jump and flap my hands and rub my face, but my parents would beat me whenever I did it, so I eventually forced myself to suppress it. Now that I know more about myself I'm trying to return to stimming, but after 20+ years I find it incredibly difficult – the resistance is so strong. It's like there's so much energy gathered in me that I absolutely must let it out, but when I as much as wave my hand, my body locks up immediately. I get overloaded a lot because of it, and I sometimes end up biting and scratching myself in my sleep until I bleed. It's terrible. Stories like yours are helping me, though – it helps so much to know that others went through it too, and that it's worth trying to reconnect with myself… that it's the right thing to do.
[…] i just read the quiet hands […]
[…] es un fragmento de "Quiet Hands" del blog Just Stimming por Julia una joven escritora con […]
[…] people who are now adults who were subjected to it as children. Some accounts of this are here, here, here and […]
[…] people who are now adults who were subjected to it as children. Some accounts of this are here, here, here and […]
[…] Autistic self-advocates are very concerned about behaviorism and deficit ideology, particularly ABA. "My experience with special education and ABA demonstrates how the dichotomy of interventions that are designed to optimize the quality of life for individuals on the spectrum can also adversely impact their mental health, and also their self-acceptance of an autistic identity. This is why so many autistic self-advocates are concerned about behavioral modification programs: because of the long-term effects they can have on autistic people's mental health. This is why we need to preach autism acceptance, and center self advocates in developing appropriate supports for autistic people. That means we need to take autistic people's insights, feelings, and desires into account, instead of dismissing them.""The literal meaning of the words is irrelevant when you're being abused. When I was a little girl,…" […]
[…] of making autistic people behave as non-autistically as possible and which is still decried by both autistic people and by former therapists for being emotionally and psychologically damaging to the person receiving […]
[…] publicado originalmente no dia 05/10/2011 aqui […]
[…] "epidemic" (there's not), and whether or not Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is abusive (it is). Instead of focusing on us—actually autistic people—this month is about those around us. Our […]
[…] Hur kan jag inte vara personlig? Hur ska jag annars få någon att förstå? Det finns oändliga mängder punkt-listor där ute, som beskriver autism för allister, men detta verkar inte fungera. Det finns fortfarande skit som "To Siri With Love" och personer som anser att ABA är det enda alternativet, ignoranta mot hur det skadar autister. […]
[…] not everyone has always seen stimming as natural or necessary. Here's powerful piece from an autistic blogger on why 'quiet hands' – a phra…. And here's another one dismantling the concept of 'socially appropriate' as […]
[…] "epidemic" (there's not), and whether or not Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) is abusive (it is). Instead of focusing on us—actually autistic people—this month is about those around us. Our […]
[…] autistic individual may have for exhibit common behaviors. Liu notes poet Julia Bascomb's poem "Quiet Hands," in which she explains what her motor stereotypy means to […]
[…] individual may have for exhibiting common behaviors. Liu notes poet Julia Bascomb's poem 'Quiet Hands', in which she explains what her motor stereotypy means to […]
[…] why stimming is a good thing) http://bjforshaw.wordpress.com/2013/10/14/i-stim-therefore-i-am/ Quiet Hands Grabbers The Obsessive Joy Of Autism […]
[…] Just Stimming – Quiet Hands […]
[…] individer i ögonen samt alltid ha full verbal möjlighet, bland mycket annat. Det handlar om att hålla händer och kroppsdelar stilla – att sitta stilla – att se rakt fram – att fokusera och tänka linjärt. Att bli […]
[…] of looking like autistics. Therapy is in quotes because it's abuse, as these accounts from someone who went through it and someone who used to do it should make clear. This idea of autism being a disease needing a cure […]
[…] Quiet Hands – This powerful first person narrative about what it feels like to told to quiet one's "stimming" or "flapping" hand behavior has helped change my perspective on the ethics of a purely behavioral approach to extinguishing these behaviors, when they might serve a purpose to the child and therefore be extremly painful for the child to stop doing. […]
[…] hours of look at me/quiet hands? No more fluttering your hands in a language only you know, no more flapping your hands watching […]
[…] hours of look at me/quiet hands? No more fluttering your hands in a language only you know, no more flapping your hands watching […]
[…] Never demand quiet hands. (This is part of what messed me up.) Suppressing stims, echolalia and interests is abusive. If you […]
[…] feelings, and desires into account, instead of dismissing them." With behaviorism, "the literal meaning of the words is irrelevant when you're being abused. When I was a little g…" "The abuse of autistic children is so expected, so normalised, so glorified that many […]
[…] Les témoignages d'autistes qui ont subi la thérapie ACA sont aussi nombreux que désolants. Nous les autistes utilisons parfois des comportements d'auto-stimulation pour s'exprimer ou pour se calmer quand nous sommes sur-stimulés par notre environnement. Par exemple, on peut agiter nos mains. Julia Bascom, l'actuelle directrice exécutive de l'Autistic Self Advocacy Network, parle éloquemment de la maltraitance qu'elle a subi de la part de non-autistes qui voulaient l'enseigner à avoir des « mains calmes » (en anglais, « quiet hands »). […]
[…] if you're autistic, excess energy is a pathology. Cue "quiet hands" and cue being held down, lectured, denied breaks, slapped, and possibly shocked with electricity for doing something that comes as naturally and as necessary […]
[…] small, repetitive behaviors like, oh I don't know, spinning something) have endured decades of "Quiet Hands" protocols, of being sent to the principal's office for fidgeting, of being told "put that […]
[…] Quiet hands by Julia Bascombe: https://juststimming.wordpress.com/2011/10/05/quiet-hands/ […]
[…] 2. Julia Bascom: Quiet Hands […]
[…] NOTE FROM ME: If you want to know more about stimming and the abuse of being kept from doing it, from an autistic perspective, read Julia Bascom's essay Quiet Hands. […]
[…] texte Quiet Hands de Julia Bascom a été publié pour la première fois en 2011 sur son blog. Il figure aussi dans […]


text:
Mildenhall: RAF base admits to neighbours that 'noisy' Ospreys will be tested overnight throughout the summer months
PUBLISHED: 15:20 15 April 2014
(c) copyright citizenside.com
People living close to a west Suffolk airbase face a miserable summer with hybrid aircraft due to carry out testing during the dead of night.
The new CV-22 Ospreys are relatively new additions to RAF Mildenhall having arrived last year, but have already prompted complaints from residents about their noisy take-off and landing.
The craft are part-plane, part-helicopter, but take off vertically like helicopters
Squadron leader Rick Fryer told a meeting of Beck Row Parish Council that night-time training exercises would be getting progressively later at the base, with craft taking off at 11pm and coming back at 2am between May and September.
"However, each aircraft is limited to a single take-off to get away, and a single landing after it comes back," said Sqn Ldr Fryer.
"I know that isn't good news for those of us that hear it. I'm the first to admit it's loud when it's the helicopter. However, we are trying – and it sounds like the wrong answer – to spread the pain.
"It has to take off and land. I admit it is noisy when it does take off and land, but we are trying to get those take-off and landings to be fewer here, and allow it to operate in other places."
Those at the meeting who questioned why they could not take off from quieter parts of the base were told the Ospreys have to take off from special concrete pads, because the force they generate when taking off melts tarmac and sets fire to grass.
Sqn Ldr Fryer said: "For the pilots to be able to evade modern threats, and old-fashioned threats, they have to train in a regime that is as realistic as possible.
"The only way to practise for night flying is to fly at night.
"Our aim at the Ministry of Defence is to try and minimise the amount of take off and landing to that which facilitates the rest of the training."
Sqn Ldr Fryer also said they had to perform a 'hover check' before they actually took off, to ensure its systems were working.
While Sqn Ldr Fryer said this typically lasted 20 seconds, parish councillor Philip Haylock said it felt like helicopters were hovering for half an hour at times, and "certainly a lot more than 20 seconds".

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Bittersweet justice is served. Six months after telling authorities that she was being targeted in a sextortion scheme, Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf can finally put a face — and a very familiar name — to her anonymous blackmailer. On Thursday, Sept. 26, 19-year-old Jared James Abrahams of Temecula, Calif., was arrested and charged with extortion and cybercrimes for allegedly hacking into Wolf's computer and taking nude photos of her through her webcam, which he then threatened to release unless she complied with his demands.
According to CNN, Abrahams "voluntarily agreed to speak" with FBI agents after authorities obtained a search warrant for his home in June. He reportedly admitted to the charges against him and said he controlled 30 to 40 "slave computers."
"There wasn't just one victim," FBI agent Bill Lewis told the Today show. "There were multiple victims in the state of California, throughout the United States, and even internationally. Some were as young as 16 years old."
Wolf, who also hails from Temecula, said on Thursday that she recognized her alleged blackmailer when his name and photo were released on Thursday. The two were classmates (but not friends) at Great Oak High School.
"It's weird for me to be able to put a face to the person who did this to me and to know that it was somebody I went to high school with," she told Today's Savannah Guthrie on Friday, one day after Abrahams' arrest.
"I'm very relieved," she added. "I'm glad they were able to find who the person is, but on the other hand, it was somebody that I went to high school with. He was young, my age, and I just think it's sad that he chose to do this and has now kind of put himself in this big dilemma."
The pageant queen, crowned Miss Teen USA in August, even went so far as to say she feels a little sorry for Abrahams. "I don't think he realizes the consequences and the people that he hurt," she told Guthrie of her accused blackmailer, who is a computer science college student. "He terrorized me and many girls for so long, and I just think that now it's coming to real life for me as well that this person did this to me."
Abrahams is currently out on $50,000 bail, the Today show reports. He has been placed on house arrest and is prohibited from using the internet.
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text:
DEAR ABBY: Several years ago my mother-in-law had to be placed in a nursing care residence because of dementia. When I visited her, it became more and more difficult to find things to talk about, until one day I came across her old address book. The idea struck me to take it with me each time I visited her, and what a success it was!
I started at the beginning of the "A" section, giving her a name and asking her to tell me about that person. She remembered a lot about most of the people in the book and related wonderful stories of friendships in rural America during the Great Depression of the 1930s. Of course, there were hardships, too. She and my father-in-law worked side-by-side on the farm to support their family.
Our "story time" visits continued until full-blown Alzheimer's disease set in. I only hope she enjoyed our times together as much as I did. They were special to me, and I'd always leave the nursing home with a smile. -- FOUND A WAY IN KANSAS
DEAR FOUND A WAY: I'm sure your mother-in-law enjoyed those visits, and what a treasure trove of family history she must have shared with you. Please write down all the stories you remember for the rest of the family because they are priceless. Your idea was brilliant, and thank you for sharing it with me and my readers.
DEAR ABBY: I have recently become engaged. I have been planning this day since I was a little girl. My problem is my mother. She's a little bit of a control freak. She plans to pay for the wedding -- which is nice and I appreciate it -- but at the same time I feel like she's ignoring my plans and substituting hers. Every time I tell her what I'd like, she tries to persuade me to do what she wants.
I even tried once being rude and telling her that she has had four weddings and this one is mine, but she got defensive when I tried to be frank with her. I feel like nothing I suggest is good enough. I don't want to spoil this for her because I'm her only daughter, but I don't want her spoiling it for me because HOPEFULLY this will be my only wedding. -- LOSING PATIENCE IN LOUISIANA
DEAR LOSING PATIENCE: This may not be what you would like me to say, but as long as your mother is footing the bills for your wedding, she will have some say in the planning. If you prefer to make this a one-woman production -- and that's your privilege -- thank her warmly for her generous offer and tell her you can't accept it, and that you will be planning and paying for your wedding yourself.
DEAR ABBY: I work in a small, quiet office. My boss sits at the desk across from me and spends a great deal of time biting his nails. The noise drives me crazy and turns an otherwise pleasant work experience into a stressful one. I've tried turning up the radio, to no avail. Do you have any suggestions on how to tell my boss that he has a loud and nasty habit? -- TRAPPED WITH A NAIL-BITER
DEAR TRAPPED: No, I do not, and I recommend against you doing it. Be thankful he's not biting his toenails.
Abby shares more than 100 of her favorite recipes in two booklets: "Abby's Favorite Recipes" and "More Favorite Recipes by Dear Abby." Send a business-size, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $12 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby -- Cookbooklet Set, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Postage is included in price.)


text:
Pens prospect Pouliot enjoying hectic junior seasonby Kevin Woodley
VANCOUVER – After playing his third game in three nights, Portland Winterhawks defenseman Derrick Pouliot could hardly be blamed if he looked more like a Walking Dead extra than a top Pittsburgh Penguins prospect.
With a game-day ferry ride mixed in for good measure, it was also Pouliot's fourth game in five nights since flying back from Sweden following a disappointing performance at the IIHF World Junior Championship in which Pouliot and Team Canada failed to win a medal. Through these frantic few weeks, Pouliot was still able to demonstrate the skill and poise that has the Penguins very excited about their prized prospect.
Following that hectic schedule, Pouliot was looking forward to four days off to go home to Weyburn, Saskatchewan, where he would celebrate his 20th birthday with friends and family.
"It will be nice to recharge," Pouliot told NHL.com.
Pouliot certainly looked rejuvenated after the much-needed break, adding five points to a season that has further confirmed the faith the Penguins showed when they made him the eighth pick in the 2012 NHL Draft.
Not that Pouliot's play slipped immediately after the World Juniors ended with a loss to Russia in the bronze-medal game. Pouliot had five points in the four games before his break and scored a key shootout goal in the only game in which he didn't record a point.
Of course, producing points has never been a problem for Pouliot, who had a goal and four assists in six World Junior games.
Blessed with great mobility and elite vision and puck-distribution skills, Pouliot is having another terrific offensive season in Portland, already matching in 34 games the 11 goals he scored in 72 games the year Pittsburgh made him an early pick in the 2012 draft. He had 59 points in his draft year, added 45 in just 44 games last season and has piled up 40 points this season.
"The game looks like it slows down for him all the time," said Portland coach and general manager Mike Johnston, who spent eight seasons as an assistant coach with the Vancouver Canucks and Los Angeles Kings before joining the Winterhawks. "His on-ice intelligence, his calmness with the puck, he's a very special player, very poised."
That's not to say he doesn't still have things he needs to improve.
During the season, Pouliot said he is focused on getting better defensively as he tries to get back to the Memorial Cup with a Winterhawks team that lost to the Halifax Mooseheads in the final last year. That team lost key contributors, including Seth Jones, Ty Rattie and Tyler Wotherspoon, so Pouliot will be relied on to shoulder a greater load in Portland.
In the offseason, Pouliot wants to slim down and get stronger. He is currently listed at 6-foot and 203 pounds, which sounds like a good size for an NHL defender. But after taking part in the Penguins training camp last fall, the baby-faced Pouliot realized he needed to proportion that weight differently before jumping to the pro level.
"This summer I want to slim down a little bit and build some more muscle," Pouliot said. "The guys up there are working hard every day, they are really strong and you have to be able to handle that when you get up there. It's just about having good habits every day."
Pouliot singled out Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin for opening his eyes at Pittsburgh's training camp, both in terms of how hard it was to defend against them and how hard they worked every day.
"You get to watch them on TV but you don't really realize it until you step on the ice with them," he said. "They are professionals and you can tell from the way they handle themselves and the way they go about practice every single day."
Pouliot also got a brief taste of the professional life after last season ended in Portland, playing one playoff game with the Wilkes-Barre/Scranton Penguins of the American Hockey League. He finished minus-2 in a 7-0 loss.
Through his fourth and final season with the Winterhawks, Pouliot has kept an eye on the Penguins' defensive depth. With Finnish rookie Olli Maatta making the team as well as the 2014 Sochi Olympics at age 19, and a handful of other call-ups filling in admirably for Pittsburgh, all he can do is keep getting better for next year.
"You know who is in the system," Pouliot said. "You just have to be better than those guys when your opportunity comes."


text: Hi, this is my first post to these forums so excuse me if I am in the wrong place. I've been running my business on a ISPConfig backend for a few months not with no issues and have decided to make better use of the API. My question is, is there an API function to manage SSL certificates? I've looked through as many files as I possibly could have and cant see how the certificates are created. Can someone point me in the right direction?


text:
Although some Democrats are calling for Texas Gov. Rick Perry's (R) resignation after he was indicted by a grand jury on Friday, a number of left-leaning observers immediately panned the allegations as unimpressive.
Perry, an expected presidential candidate in 2016, is accused of "abuse of official capacity" and "coercion of [a] public servant" by publicly threatening to zero out a state prosecutor's funding and then actually doing it. Several pundits, including former Obama campaign strategist David Axelrod, Clinton and Obama administration alum Jonathan Prince, Vox's Matt Yglesias, and New York Magazine's Jonathan Chait, wrote on Twitter they couldn't see what the big deal was.
"Unless he was demonstrably trying to scrap the ethics unit for other than his stated reason," Axelrod argued, "Perry indictment seems pretty sketchy."
"Have to say Perry indictment seems nuts. Gov has constitutional power to veto. Gov uses power. Grand jury indicts bc they don't like reason?" Prince asked.
"Hard for me to imagine these Rick Perry charges sticking," Yglesias wrote, adding, "Does anyone think this Perry indictment makes sense?"
"My *very* preliminary reaction to the Rick Perry news: I don't understand what law he broke," Chait opined.
ThinkProgress, the liberal-oriented news site, reported that Perry's own attorneys "may have a point" when they argued his veto of the prosecutor funding "was made in accordance with the veto authority afforded to every governor under the Texas Constitution."
"The Texas Constitution gives the governor discretion to decide when to sign and when to veto a bill, as well as discretion to veto individual line-items in an appropriation bill. Though the state legislature probably could limit this veto power in extreme cases — if a state governor literally sold his veto to wealthy interest groups, for example, the legislature could almost certainly make that a crime — a law that cuts too deep into the governor's veto power raises serious separation of powers concerns," ThinkProgress wrote. "Such laws would rework the balance of power between the executive and the legislature established by the state constitution, and they would almost certainly be unconstitutional."
The Lawyers, Guns & Money blog appeared to agree.
"I'm as contemptuous of Perry as anyone, but this seems really thin," the site said in a post reacting to the indictment. "To the extent that the statute reaches Perry's behavior, itself kind of a stretch, it's hard to see how the statute is consistent with the separation of powers established by the state constitution."
But not all Perry critics were skeptical of the indictment against the Republican governor. Indeed, some of the leading voices in Texas Democratic politics called for his resignation, according to KXAN News.
"We call on Governor Perry to immediately step down from office," Gilberto Hinojosa, president of the Texas Democratic Party, said. "Texans deserve real leadership and this is unbecoming of our governor."
Perry's supporters, meanwhile, have accused the special prosecutor in question of partisanship. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) called the indictment "highly suspect" in a Facebook post Saturday.
"Unfortunately, there has been a sad history of the Travis County District Attorney's Office engaging in politically-motivated prosecutions, and this latest indictment of the governor is extremely questionable. Rick Perry is a friend, he's a man of integrity - I am proud to stand with Rick Perry," Cruz wrote.
According to the Texas Observer, the charges stem from "a long-running power struggle involving Travis County District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg." In 2013, Lehmberg, a Democrat, was convicted of drunk driving. Perry's office then moved to muscle her out by cutting her funding.
Perry's attorney is set to meet with the special prosecutor, Michael McCrum, on Monday to discuss the two felony indictments, The Associated Press reported. McCrum said he didn't know when Perry will be booked.
McCrum also said he "took into account the fact that we're talking about a governor of a state — and a governor of the state of Texas, which we all love."
Updated (10:05 a.m.): With additional content throughout.


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Rick Owens
Originally from Southern California, fashion designer Rick Owens started his label in the early nineties after dropping out of art school. His first own label catwalk show was held at New York Fashion Week in 2001 and was sponsored by Vogue. Owens gained the CFDA New talent award in 2002.
Owens become artistic director of French furriers Revillon in Paris in 2003. He cemented his reputation as a designer in Paris and introduced a furniture collection, incorporating materials such as raw plywood, antlers, cashmere and marble into his designs. Drawing on his experience at Revillon, Owens introduced a collection exclusively dedicated to fur, Palais Royal. It was named after his Paris boutique. In addition, Owens has RickOwensLilies, a line devoted to his signature silk viscose jerseys and denim line DRKSHDW.
Owens has received numerous awards over the past few years. He most notably won the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Award for Fashion Design and the Rule Breakers Award from Fashion Group International in 2007. The same year also saw the release of his photo book, L'ai - Je Bien Descendu?.
- Rick Owens presents a live stream.
- Rick Owens creates an interview.
- Rick Owens features in a project.
- Rick Owens features in a project.


text:
One more chance for Three
- |
LOS ANGELES - It's done. The trading deadline has come and gone. The Big Three will have their chance to win one more championship before the whole thing blows up. Strap yourselves in for the famous final scene, the last roundup of Three Amigos.
It was appropriate that the Celtics were at the Staples Center in the hours after the deadline passed yesterday. The Lakers are the gold standard in the NBA in 2010. They are the ones who took the throne vacated by the Green last spring. And they'll be the ones on the other side of the floor if the Celtics somehow find their mojo and make it out of the Eastern Conference this spring.
Celtics nip Lakers. C2
The Celtics beat a Kobe-less LA team, 87-86, in their first game after the deadline. Boston won despite scoring only 11 points in the fourth quarter and making only 61.5 percent of its free throws. It was a night in which Ray Allen shot like a man who was happy he hadn't been traded (10 for 15, 24 points). It was a night when the Celtics reminded Basketball America that they are still capable of neutralizing West Coast front-runners with East Coast Powerball.
Through the years, when the Celtics and Lakers were conference kingpins, these twice-a-year regular-season meetings resolved bragging rights and provided some measure of where each team stood. All of that stuff is out the window this year. At this hour, the mission of the old Celtics is to find their old soul. Winning two in a row after the break is a start. Portland and Denver are next.
"This has been a good stretch for us,'' said coach Doc Rivers. "We needed one of these like we won tonight. We're a little more healthy, but we're not there yet.''
In the weeks after Christmas the Celtics became a wounded and unlikable band of underachievers. They were big on attitude, small on work ethic. Impressed with past achievements, convinced they could summon the old dominance any time they pleased, they blew 10 double-digit leads. They became the kind of team we scorn here in Boston. Now they are in the process of trying to earn our love again.
The All-Star break and the passing of the deadline were crucial moments for the Green. With the deadline gone, the uncertainty is behind them. Danny Ainge has decided to go for it with this group one last time. Allen is still here. Big Baby is still here. Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler are not walking through that door.
Nate Robinson will be walking through the door. That means Eddie House is gone. The departure of House stings a little. Along with James Posey and P.J. Brown, House was an important piece of the title team of 2007-08.
Lakers coach Phil Jackson, never missing a chance to instigate (this is one of the reasons Red hated the Mystic One), was asked about the Celtics trading House for Robinson and said, "They got great response from House. I don't know what you can do to improve on that.''
Allen, always the most likely of the Big Three to be traded, said, "He was a good teammate, always doing his job. We know what he meant to the team.''
Allen took a lot of questions about his name in trade rumors.
"I was probably the most-speculated player, but it's not something I worried about,'' he said.
"Maybe we should threaten to trade him all the time,'' joked Rivers after watching Allen light up the Staples Center.
Asked about crowd of thirtysomethings in his locker room, Doc admitted, "It's an issue. So far, it's been proven to be real. We've been broken down. But when the playoffs start and we're healthy, let's see if age is a factor.''
Kevin Garnett missed 11 games in the first half. Paul Pierce missed seven. Marquis Daniels missed 29, and Baby was in the corner for 28.
It's still hard to believe that there was talk of 72 wins for this team back in November. Fast starts have been the trademark of this group (an aggregate 72-11 pre-Christmas record over the last three years), but now it's all about the present. It's about performance, not possibility. Journalism school teachers instruct students to "show, don't tell,'' and that is what this stage of the Celtics season is about. Stop telling us how good you are. Show us.
Colleague/commissioner Bob Ryan was first to speak of this group in relation to the 1968-69 Celtics. Those guys finished fourth in their division, but put it together for the playoffs and ground out another championship, beating the Chamberlain-West-Baylor Lakers in seven games.
Those were the final games for Bill Russell and Sam Jones. It was the end. And it was great.
This could be like that.
"I like this team when it is whole,'' said Rivers. "We haven't had good rhythm over the last 20 games. You could see it happening before the drop came. Hey, if you've jumped off the bandwagon, stay off. But I do see us trending well.''
While you were sleeping, they beat the Lakers. They did it on national television in front of the usual throng of Hollywood A-listers. (Question: What do you call the guy who shows Usher to his seat in the front row at the Staples Center?) They blew another double-digit lead in the second half, but they came back and won. On the road. Against the Lakers.
They gave us hope. They looked like 12 angry men in search of lost Ubuntu.
Dan Shaughnessy is a Globe columnist. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.com.


text: I've got extremely slow Wordpress under ISPConfig 126.96.36.199, but it's the back end only. I updated to WP 3.3 this morning, but still the same. The strange thing is, I'm running a personal WP install on a free "tiny" instance on Amazon S3 with a similar config and low memory, but not ispc and it's Amazon's own RHEL, and it flies along. Which is what makes it even more difficult to diagnose. Anyway, here's a whole load of details: Wordpress 3.3 on Ubuntu 11.10 + Nginx 1.0.10 + php5-fpm 5.3.8 + ISPconfig 188.8.131.52 + 256Mb VPS I've got a 256Mb VPS running a Zen Cart store and phpbb3, both in different php-fpm pools. There's hardly anything running except the essentials and both those sites absolutely rocket along. As does the front end of the Wordpress site, when W3TC accelerated. BUT.... the admin side takes 6-10 seconds to do anything. There's nothing in the mysql slow log, or the php-fpm error log, the load doesn't spike, and the memory usage doesn't shoot up (but see below about memory). The first time it loads, at wp-admin/options.php it shows a very long page that looks wrong, with line after line of stuff like... active_plugins SERIALIZED DATA Here's the main items from ps_mem.py Code: 732.0 KiB + 87.5 KiB = 819.5 KiB bash 2.1 MiB + 369.0 KiB = 2.4 MiB fail2ban-server 1.8 MiB + 2.0 MiB = 3.9 MiB nginx (5) 5.1 MiB + 12.8 MiB = 17.9 MiB php5-fpm (29) 87.8 MiB + 149.0 KiB = 88.0 MiB mysqld --------------------------------- 116.2 MiB ================================= Here's the load average pretty much all the time: load average: 0.48, 0.53, 0.51 And here's the output from free -m Code: total used free shared buffers cached Mem: 241 202 38 0 3 49 -/+ buffers/cache: 149 92 Swap: 511 29 482 Here's the nginx.conf, including the cloudflare real_ip settings (tried without cloudflare too), and also the rewrite required to make permalinks work under nginx: Code: server { listen 31.172.x.x:80; server_name mysite.co.uk www.mysite.co.uk www.my-site.co.uk my-site.co.uk; root /var/www/mysite.co.uk/web; index index.html index.htm index.php index.cgi index.pl index.xhtml; error_page 400 /error/400.html; error_page 401 /error/401.html; error_page 403 /error/403.html; error_page 404 /error/404.html; error_page 405 /error/405.html; error_page 500 /error/500.html; error_page 502 /error/502.html; error_page 503 /error/503.html; error_log /var/log/ispconfig/httpd/mysite.co.uk/error.log; access_log /var/log/ispconfig/httpd/mysite.co.uk/access.log combined; ## Disable .htaccess and other hidden files location ~ /\. { deny all; access_log off; log_not_found off; } location = /favicon.ico { log_not_found off; access_log off; } location = /robots.txt { allow all; log_not_found off; access_log off; } location /stats { index index.html index.php; auth_basic "Members Only"; auth_basic_user_file /var/www/clients/client3/web9/.htpasswd_stats; } location ~ \.php$ { try_files $uri =404; include /etc/nginx/fastcgi_params; fastcgi_pass unix:/var/lib/php5-fpm/web9.sock; fastcgi_index index.php; fastcgi_param SCRIPT_FILENAME $document_root$fastcgi_script_name; fastcgi_param PATH_INFO $fastcgi_script_name; fastcgi_intercept_errors on; } set_real_ip_from 126.96.36.199/24; set_real_ip_from 18.104.22.168/24; set_real_ip_from 22.214.171.124/21; set_real_ip_from 22.214.171.124/20; set_real_ip_from 22.214.171.124/22; set_real_ip_from 188.8.131.52/18; set_real_ip_from 18.104.22.168/18; real_ip_header CF-Connecting-IP; client_max_body_size 28M; client_body_buffer_size 128k; if (!-e $request_filename) { rewrite ^(.*)$ /index.php?q=$1 last; break; } #include /var/www/mysite.co.uk/web/nginx.conf; } Here's the php5-fpm pool conf for that site: Code: [web9] listen = /var/lib/php5-fpm/web9.sock listen.owner = web9 listen.group = client3 listen.mode = 0660 user = web9 group = client3 pm = dynamic pm.max_children = 4 pm.start_servers = 1 pm.min_spare_servers = 1 pm.max_spare_servers = 2 chdir = / php_admin_value[open_basedir] = /var/www/clients/client3/web9/web:/var/www/clients/client3/web9/tmp:/var/www/mysite.co.uk/web:/srv/www/mysite.co.uk/web:/usr/share/php5:/tmp:/usr/share/phpmyadmin:/etc/phpmyadmin:/var/lib/phpmyadmin php_admin_value[session.save_path] = /var/www/clients/client3/web9/tmp php_admin_value[upload_tmp_dir] = /var/www/clients/client3/web9/tmp php_admin_value[date.timezone] = "UTC" php_admin_value[post_max_size] = 28M php_admin_value[session.gc_maxlifetime] = 604800 php_admin_value[upload_max_filesize] = 28M php_admin_flag[display_errors] = off php_admin_flag[display_startup_errors] = off php_admin_flag[log_errors] = off php_admin_flag[ignore_repeated_errors] = off php_admin_flag[ignore_repeated_source] = off php_admin_value[memory_limit] = 32M That last line about memory limit is new, but made no difference either. I had to make changes to /etc/php5/conf.d/suhosin.ini as advised by phpmyadmin, and also upped the memory limit for WP as I was getting "ALERT - script tried to increase memory_limit to 268435456 bytes which is above the allowed value". Code: ; configuration for php suhosin module extension=suhosin.so suhosin.executor.include.whitelist="phar" suhosin.request.max_vars=2048 suhosin.post.max_vars=2048 suhosin.request.max_array_index_length=256 suhosin.post.max_array_index_length=256 suhosin.request.max_totalname_length=8192 suhosin.post.max_totalname_length=8192 suhosin.get.max_value_length=1024 suhosin.memory_limit=128M I reduced the memory limit in wp-config.php as shown below. Code: define('WP_MEMORY_LIMIT', '32M'); define('WP_MAX_MEMORY_LIMIT', '32M'); Although, I've changed these limits from 256 to 128 to 64 to 32 and it makes NO difference to the front or back end speeds. I changed the theme to default, turned off all the plugins, changed all the mysql tables to to innodb and followed the recommendations of mysqltuner (even though, as I said, there's nothing about slow mysql in the logs I can see). I've tried changing php-fpm from socket to port and back, and so on and so forth. Not really sure what else to do now - can anyone spot anything here or advise? And yes, I might be running a bit tight on memory, but then why does Zen Cart and phpbb running with a big DB load pages sub 200ms?


text:
Developer - Numerai, LLC
Developer - Numerai, LLC
Building the meta model on Numerai
Published on Jan 27, 2017
Numerai is synthesizing machine intelligence to command the capital of an American hedge fund. In this short film, we explain how, with interviews from Howard Morgan (co-founder of Renaissance Technologies), Norman Packard (co-founder of Prediction Company), Peter Diamandis (founder of XPRIZE, Singularity University), Olaf Carlson-Wee (founder of Polychain Capital, formerly Coinbase), Geoff Bradway (Permutation Ventures, formerly Google DeepMind), Yunus Saatchi (Permutation Ventures, formerly Vicarious) and Joey Krug (founder of Augur, Thiel Fellow)
Introducing Numeraire
February 21, 2017
"A New Cryptocurrency For Coordinating Artificial Intelligence on Numerai"Today, we issued our twelve thousand data scientists one million crypto-tokens to incentivize the construction of an artificial intelligence hedge fund. Here's why.
Featuring interviews with Numerai investors Andy Weissman and Fred Wilson of Union Square Ventures; Joey Krug of Augur and Juan Benet of IPFS and Filecoin.


text:
Hi Folks -
I wanted to get back to you with more information and guidance around the Windows Desktop Search (WDS) issue and the results of our investigation today.
As you know, Windows Desktop Search was published last February 07, as an optional update that was only applicable to systems which had WDS previously installed. Then on Tuesday of this week we revised that update package to be applicable (but still optional) to Windows XP SP2 and Windows Server 2003 SP1+ systems which did not have WDS installed. Unfortunately, in revising this update, the decision to re-use the same update package had unintended consequences to our WSUS customers. Namely many of you who had approved the initial update package for a limited number of machines, had Tuesdays' WDS revision 105 automatically install on all clients because of the expanded applicability scope and because by default, WSUS is set to automatically approve update revisions. We sincerely regret the inconvenience this has caused and extend a sincere apology to all impacted customers.
For those of you who want to uninstall the WDS update revision released Tuesday of this week, this can be done via
1. Add/remove programs
2. Invoking spunisnts: %windir%\$NtUninstallKB917013$\spuninst\spuninst.exe /q /promptrestart
3. Using System Restore on Windows XP (not available on Windows Server 2003). This option will leave some software on the machine, but the invocation effectively removes WDS 3.01. This should only be used for conditions where the /noback switch was used.
I want you to know we are working now to correct the issue and have temporarily suspended the distribution of the Windows Desktop Search through WSUS. The current package will remain available through the Microsoft Download Center. We will make a new package available for WSUS in the near future, but not as an update revision, so that you can rely on predictable update behavior with auto-approval settings. We are also working on improving our internal publishing processes to ensure this does not happen again in the future.
Again, our sincere apologies for this publishing process error.
Bobbie Harder
Program Manager, WSUS


text:
Kia's square compact is still cool.
When the Soul showed up in 2010, it made waves. Thanks in part to a successful Super Bowl ad, the Soul secured its spot in the boxy-car trifecta along with the Nissan Cube and the Scion xB. The Soul is the best seller of the bunch by a large margin, and it's easy to see why. Nifty, funky, and quirky are all words that can describe its styling. Big, buggy headlights and a squared-of, swept-back design give the Soul a sportier look than its competition. Kia added a dark chrome grille surround for 2013. Bold exterior looks are accented further by wacky but appealing paint options. Inside, there are lights in the door-mounted speakers that can flash in time with the music. The Soul! has a voice-activated infotainment system with a 4.3-inch color touch screen and a rear camera display. The two four-cylinder engines now make more power. The 1.6-liter engine, paired with a six-speed manual transmission, produces 138 hp. Not enough? A 2.0-liter produces 164 hp and 148 lb-ft of torque. It's available with the six-speed manual or a six-speed automatic. The larger engine is standard on Soul+ and Soul! models. If flower power is more appealing to you than horsepower, there is an available eco package that features automatic stop/start and an Active Eco system for optimal fuel-efficient driving.
Nissan Cube
Scion xB
Scion xD
new for 2013
The Soul gets a dark chrome grille surround, as well as a revised "Kia" badge on the hood, liftgate, and steering wheel. Bluetooth is now standard on the base model with the manual transmission. Power-folding exterior mirrors are standard on the Soul! trim level. Molten, titanium, and moss exterior colors are now available across the line.
ABS; stability and traction control; front, side, and side curtain air bags; a tire-pressure monitoring system; and hill-start assist are standard.
High Mileage
Admirable fuel economy
Robust engine output
Boxy outside, roomy inside
Interior materials are a bit of a letdown
Sportier model not available
Base Price Range: $15,175–$20,675
DRIVE: Front-wheel
TRIM LEVELS: Soul, Soul+, Soul!
BODY STYLE: Hatchback, 5-passenger
ENGINES: 1.6L I-4, 138 hp, 123 lb-ft
2.0L I-4, 164 hp, 148 lb-ft
TRANSMISSIONS: 6-speed manual, 6-speed automatic