text:
A powerful recurring motif in the varied works of Christopher Guest is the dummy.
From early sketch comedy on "Saturday Night Live" through a series of mock documentaries, the looming figure is an essential part of the Guest aesthetic. It can be a truth-teller as on his new HBO series "Family Tree," where a sharp-witted monkey hand puppet accuses a bubble-brained wife of being "inflatable." Or it can also be a flesh-and-blood dimwit such as Nigel Tufnel, the "This Is Spinal Tap" guitarist who boasts his special amp's volume goes to 11.
It turns out the deep fascination with dummies may be embedded in the family DNA. Guest discovered, after receiving a treasure trove of family diaries, photographs and letters in 1996, that one of his forebears was a ventriloquist. As a child, the distant relative performed a puppet show for King George III – yes, the dummy, er, the British monarch, who lost the American colonies.
"If I put this in a movie people would think it's stupid," said Guest of his great-great-great-great-grandfather, noting he might be missing a "great" or two, who was born in 1797. "But he wrote in a wonderful Dickens sort of way that he was a child who liked to make mischievous voices, that he always imitated sounds and people.
"And I thought, 'OK, this is my life when I was a child in school,'" continued Guest, whose father, Peter Haden-Guest, was a British U.N. diplomat and a member of the House of Lords. "I could make sounds and the teacher didn't know where they were coming from — because I was so interested in learning, apparently."
Just before the launch of his new series, Guest talked over breakfast in Santa Monica about his Anglo-American heritage, the odd pull of ventriloquism and his first stab at a television series. Unlike his free-spirited, eccentric characters, the filmmaker behind "A Mighty Wind," "For Your Consideration," and "Best in Show" doesn't particularly enjoy the celebrity interview process or, for that matter, being photographed. During the hour-long conversation, he was reserved but not unfriendly.
His improvisational eight-episode series — perhaps the only TV comedy ever driven by genealogical research — explores with humorous and often poignant detail a young man's quest to fill out the names and faces on the many branches of his transatlantic family tree. After initially being set in England, the series moves its hero, Tom Chadwick, played by the Irish comic actor Chris O'Dowd, to sunny California on Sunday for the final four episodes.
The Sunday episode, "Welcome to America," also marks Guest's first appearance in front of the camera on the series. Like seemingly every Guest character on the series, he plays a mostly normal person — except for one thing.
Actually, in the case of his character, it's a couple of things. He plays a Southern Chadwick fond of knit caps who is embarrassed by a vestigial body part and has a wife who has been missing for several years. (The monkey hand puppet has a theory about the wife.)
"I wasn't sure until the night before that I actually was going to do it," said Guest, who created and wrote the series with Jim Piddock. "I wasn't comfortable and I was so busy, I didn't really feel like I could just put on a costume and walk into it."
Overall, the series has been greeted by welcoming reviews. Tim Goodman of the Hollywood Reporter called it "a quirky and hilarious gem," while Times critic Robert Lloyd wrote it is "sweet and funny and not a little melancholy," adding that "Guest gives the world a quarter-twist toward the ridiculous, without losing sight of the human dreams and strivings, obsessions and accommodations that are his main and constant subject."
Like much of Guest's previous work, the series seems to be playing to his niche audience. The ratings have been modest — averaging around 2.3-million viewers per episode across all platforms, according to HBO. Network executives are weighing whether to order a second season and are expected to decide soon.
"We certainly want another season," said Guest, who is married to actress Jamie Lee Curtis and lives on the Westside. "But they may say, 'Thanks for coming,' and I'll be fishing again."
He's not joking — Guest loves to fly fish, and he doesn't have anything else lined up. Unlike a lot of his Hollywood colleagues who thrive on juggling multiple projects, he will take off months, even years at a time. "I don't ever work at two different things at the same time," he said. "I don't have file cabinets filled with scripts. Everything I've thought to do, I've done."
Guest fans will recognize the familiar stable of faces that animate the writer-director's many films — namely, Fred Willard, Ed Begley Jr., Kevin Pollak, Bob Balaban and Michael McKean. McKean, who co-starred in "Spinal Tap" with Guest, portrays O'Dowd's caring but often clueless father, who nearly pops a stitch every time he watches one of his beloved old British sitcoms. (The laughably bad sitcoms, shot on the same stages as actual laughably bad British sitcoms years ago, are entirely made up for the HBO series.)
"Chris' stuff is at its best when there is a sweetness and a kindness without being soft," said McKean, who once was roommates with Guest when they were just starting out in New York City. "It's not that everyone is wonderful and we have to hug at the end, it's just that people are like this. They are a little crazy and funny."
The inspiration for the HBO series was born after the death of Guest's father in 1996. Not unlike his main character, Guest suddenly found himself curating a host of family artifacts — which he is still sorting through — that prompted a look into his heritage. Gradually, he learned much more about his lineage that had been left unsaid. Medals for valor in World War I, an uncle who fought in Spain in the 1930s, a grandfather who was a physician and Fabian Society member who worked with H.G. Wells and George Bernard Shaw.
"My dad, a lovely guy from an interesting, amazing family, would tell me some things but not everything," said Guest, whose American mother was a vice president of casting and talent at CBS. "Not because there were secrets, he just wasn't that forthcoming. He wasn't cold, but he didn't say everything. So psychologically, when you grow up around that, you tend not to ask questions."
He realizes that in some ways he's a chip off the old block.
"There are certain people that are open and accessible. And then there are certain people when you look at them you get the, well, I'm-not-going-over-there vibe. And frankly, I may be one of those people," said Guest, who at 65 is fit thanks to a five-times-a-week workout routine that includes cycling, tennis and an elliptical machine. "I meet people and they say this about me and I think, 'Really? That's odd.' Because internally it doesn't feel that way."
The cache of materials first led to a personal audio-recording project in which Guest conjured a family and performed all the voices. Then he thought of adding video, at which point he contacted his friend Piddock, the English actor who has appeared in several of his films.
Because of the project's open-ended nature — a young man finding his identity by creating a giant family tree — television seemed like a better option than film. There's no natural end to the series, said Guest, whose actors improvise the dialogue for every scene.
And there was no pitch to sell it either. Just a very elaborate outline with eight pages about each episode. "We said, 'That's the show,'" said Guest, who talked to several cable outlets about the project. "You know how I work, you like me or you don't."
Sue Naegle, HBO's entertainment president, told reporters this year that the premium channel "jumped" at the chance to grab it.
One of the most talked-about characters in the series is Nina Conti, who portrays Bea Chadwick, the main character's sister. She's a perfectly normal person, except she communicates through her sharp-tongued hand-puppet "Monk" much of the time. Conti, the daughter of actor Tom Conti, is actually a trained ventriloquist.
"I was having dinner with her dad years ago," said Guest, who played a ventriloquist, Señor Cosa, on "Saturday Night Live" in the mid-'80s and later in "Best in Show." "And I asked, 'How's the family?' Good. 'How's Nina?' She's a ventriloquist. 'But seriously, how is she?' She's a ventriloquist. I said OK."
The series hasn't ventured into the hallowed halls of the British Parliament, which given Guest's experiences there wouldn't be as unlikely as it may sound. When his father died, Guest inherited a seat in the House of Lords and when he was in London, which was frequent, he would sit in the chambers and listen to the voices of government.
"The people are highly educated and make amazing speeches," said Guest, who lost the seat after hereditary peers were tossed out of the august body. "They speak fluidly and fluently in English. It was very refreshing."
Did he ever speak?
"I could have made a speech, but I didn't think it was my place — well, it was my place," said Guest, who attended sessions for several years. "I thought it would be a little presumptuous of me after I'd shot all my ventriloquism scenes to stand up in the House of Lords."
Dummies again.


text: Southwest Open School will hold a Gallery Day this afternoon, an exhibition and celebration of student learning. The Gallery will be held at Lifeway Baptist Hall at 601 N. Dolores Rd. in Cortez today, Thursday, Sept. 20, from 1:30 to 3:15 p.m. There will be student presentations and exhibits, and refreshments will be provided. For more information, call Southwest Open School at 565-1150.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
A phone in every home, Bell urged
I pulled a few National Geographic magazines from 1950 off the shelf and looked through them this evening.
It was interesting to see the ads that Bell Telephone System was running. I noticed two frequent themes: 1) We're a big company, so you can count on good service, and 2) If you don't have a telephone, you need to get one.
Here are the texts of two persuasive ads of the second sort:
Big Value At Low Cost
The telephone is a big bargain in security, convenience and good times for every member of the family. Just in the steps it saves, it more than pays for itself. Its value in emergencies is often beyond price. Day and night, every day, the telephone is at your service. And the cost is only pennies per call.
Advertisement by the Bell Telephone System, in The National Geographic Magazine, January 1950.
Service That Never Sleeps . . . Whatever the need or the hour, the telephone is on the job -- ready to take you where you want to go, quickly and dependably. Telephone service is one of the few services available twenty-four hours a day -- weekdays, Sundays and holidays. Yet the cost is small -- within reach of all . . . Bell Telephone Service
Advertisement by the Bell Telephone System, in The National Geographic Magazine, February 1950.
In 1950 -- the year of these ads -- 62% of American households had telephone service (source). Most of those households were served by party lines. Many of the rural party lines were owned by small locally-owned telephone companies that had no affiliation with Bell at all.
The Bell ads show sleek black desk telephones with rotary dials, but the telephones I remember from the 1950s had crank handles. We didn't have telephones with dials in rural Rock County, Nebraska, until the mid-1960s.
- - - - - - - - - -
Prairie Bluestem: Rural Party Line Remembered


text:
Cramer makes the call on viewer favorites.
Clean Energy : The company provides nat gas as an alternative fuel for service vehicles, explained Cramer. But it's strictly a spec play.
Baidu: I can't recommend owning individual stocks based in China, said Cramer. But I would look at the FXI which is a basket of China-based companies.
Polycom : I don't like this stock at all, said Cramer. It competes directly against the giant Cisco.


text:
Tech Students Awarded SPE Scholarships, April 8, 1999
SOCORRO, N.M., April 8, 1999 -- Three New Mexico Tech students have been named recipients of scholarships presented by the Roswell section of the Society of Petroleum Engineers (SPE). They were all chosen for their outstanding academic performance and participation in Tech's student chapter of SPE. The three students, J. J. McGlasson, Steven Sanchez, and Danny Edgett are all majoring in petroleum engineering at the state-supported research university.
J. J. McGlasson, president of the student chapter of SPE, is a native of Los Lunas and a graduate of Los Lunas High School. He is the son of Donny McGlasson and Tommie Wylie. He is currently a senior at New Mexico Tech.
"I'd like to extend special thanks to Betty Newell, one of my former teachers at Los Lunas High School," McGlasson says, "as well as to Tech professors Her-Yuan Chen and William X. Chavez, Jr., for all the support they've given me in my studies."
Steven Sanchez is a graduate student at New Mexico Tech and is vice president of the student chapter of SPE. He is a graduate of Shawnee High School in Tabernacle, N.J., and is the son of José and Nancy Sanchez of Tabernacle.
He also holds a scholarship from the American Association of Drilling Contractors-Dallas/Fort Worth Section Scholarship.
"I'm currently working on a U.S. Department of Energy and industry project on optimization of infill drilling in naturally fractured tight-gas reservoirs," Sanchez relates.
"Being a student at New Mexico Tech has been a great experience for me," he says. "I've had the opportunity to participate in a lot of different activities from attending professional conferences in my major to getting involved in all types of extracurricular activities--from rock climbing to racquetball.
"The classwork has been hard," Sanchez adds, "but I feel I've learned what I need to be successful in my chosen profession."
Danny A. Edgett is a graduate of Goddard High School and the son of Jay and Michelle Edgett of Roswell. He is a freshman at New Mexico Tech and a member of the student chapter of SPE.
"My experiences at New Mexico Tech have been very positive," Edgett says. "The range of students is very diverse and the staff is very supportive at the university."


text:
One girl's twistedly fantastic interpretation of what the hell is really going on in those tribes.
Thursday, October 13, 2011
It Ain't Hunky Dory
This little piggy went to market. This little piggy stayed home. This little piggy had roast beef. And this little piggy had none. This little piggy went "Wee wee wee stop open mouth fondling me you herpified whores!" What were once innocent pecks on the cheeks between mother and son or grandma and grandbaby are now disease ridden, bacteria filled, invitations to a lifelong battle of fighting festering sores. Sadly, the days of sharing lollipops and ice cream cones are over. Had Disney known then what we all know now, those two dogs never would have dared to share that noodle of spaghetti - let alone sit at the same table without a SARS mask covering their noses. It's a filthy world with filthy people engaging in filthy things. Thankfully, we have a man of God who cries more tears than a weeping Virgin Mary statue in a tiny village outside of Bangladesh to keep us straight. Sure, his namesake tattoo says "HATERZ" and he has hooves for feet, but he's herpe-free people! In the grand scheme of things, that's all that really matters. Clean hooves and a blister free existence. Let's recap, shall we?
Our South Pacific journey continues with the arrival of Spacey (Stacey) on Rhode Island (Redemption Island). Christine Baxter Birney stirs from her bed of dried leaves and acorns and asks, "Who is that?" Spacey replies, "Chrispeen Moon Pie, it's me, Scracey. Them snakes ovah de're, up in da hood. Shoooot. Girrrrl, Coach runnin' all up an' things ain't hunky dory. Hunky dory hell no. All y'all gonna go ta hell wit gasoline draw's awn!" I think that translates to, "I'm fine. How are you?" Who the hell knows? The point of the story is this - Spacey is pissed off and now she's gonna start a bees nest with Twinkies and then Yo Gabba Gabba those M'effer's back to where they belong. I have no idea what that means, but this lady cuts people open for a living so guard your broccoli and your socks. That's all we can do. Stock up on pantyhose and saran wrap and wait for Spacey to strike.
A new day dawns and it's a chilly morning over at Impala (Upolu). Not only is that feather sprite Edna huddled by the campfire wrapped in a banana skin, but our Christian representative of Latter Day Demonfolk, Lil Hantz, has a bee in his bonnet and a boner, I mean, bone to pick with that evil temptress Mikayla. You see, last night at Tribal Council, Mikayla blamed Brandon's notoriously evil uncle for this tortured manchild we see before us now. She just can't let it go that young Brandon shares the same bloodline and, as a result, she's having a hard time separating the two in the game. Grandpappy Hantz is not a racehorse Mikayla. He's not a pure bred Scottish Deerhound siring pups to win the Westminster Dog Show who then weasel their way into Survivor for generations to come. Brandon is a potpourri of delusion and insanity all on his very own. Russell was nothing more than a megalomaniac with a Napoleanic Complex whereas Brandon is a kerfluffle of inner demons and angst. It's fine for you to not like Brandon, Mikayla, but you've got to justify it with a little more than, "But but Russell is his uncle!"
So after a long night of prayer, contemplation, and tears, Brandon has circled back to the conclusion that girls in booty shorts simply can't be trusted. One of these days God will strike her down with either a bolt of lightning or a wayward metorite, but until then we've got a duel to attend. Representing Impala, we have Albert and the award winning genealogist Mikayla. Representing Savannah, we have Dawn and some girl we hardly know, Whitney. Whitney is like the Brett Clouser of Survivor South Pacific. Occasionally, we see her peeking out from behind a tree and holding up a hollowed out coconut half to be filled with rice, but, other than that, she's nothing more than a whisper in this game of freaky freakies. If only Survivor were more like the Real Housewives. Either deliver the crazy or you're out!
Our warriors, Christine Diamond Phillips and Spacey, are marched into the arena and it's immediately a hotbed of insanity. Dimples asks Spacey an innocent question about her tribe and I don't know what kind of peyote Christine Cox Arquette is growing over there on Rhode Island, but the technicolor word vomit that spilled out of Spacey's mouth is one for your Survivor scrapbooks. From what I can gather, some guy named Chucky The Cheese likes to tell jokes on Halloween and another guy named Benjamin may or may not have tried to give Spacey a hood. Seeing as Spacey is a black woman and hoods probably don't bring back the best of memories for her, Spacey told Benjamin to, "Keep that hood. Boop!" Therefore, I can only conclude that if this Benjamin character manages to hand out his hoods, a race war will ensue. While I appreciate the warning about this evil milliner, Benjamin, I'm more worried about this Chucky person. Is he a purveyor of cheese or is he made of cheese? If he's made of cheese, I can fight him off with a grater and a ready glass of wine. If he's a maker of cheese, then I fear he could lure me into his cheese factory with nothing more than a cube of extra sharp cheddar or Pecorino on a stick. I need answers Spacey!
Alas, answers I would not get, but you know what I did get? A new nickname! It's time to meet Welch's (Albert). We'll be hearing a lot more about Welch's shortly, but all you need to know for now is that he doesn't care for sour grapes one bit. In fact, they make him sneer and purse his lips. Sour grapes not only don't make a tasty juice, but they're an affront to everything the Welch's brand stands for. One sour grape can ruin the whole bunch.
Alright, for this duel, players will drop a ball down a chute where it'll spiral downward and fall out. Competitors much catch the ball and put it back into the chute. Every few minutes, another ball will be added making them harder to track and harder to catch. The first person who lets a ball hit the floor is out. Survivors ready, go!
Christine Harvey Oswald drops a ball down her chute, Spacey drops a ball down her chute, and we're off! Swirl, swirl, swirl, down go the balls. Christine Ann Womack is deliberate in her timing while Spacey is juggling balls over her head, chucking balls at her old tribemates, and dropping 2,3,4 down the chute at a time. In the stands, Welch's hurled back nice juicy plump ripe grapes and one must have hit Spacey in the head or something because CHRISTINE LEE LEWIS STAYS ALIVE!!!
Back at Impala, Welch's is the bearer of bad tidings. He scurries over to Coach forthwith and tells him all about how Spacey made a big production of calling Coach, "Benjamin." Now, I can see getting upset if Spacey called him "Roach" or "Couch", but "Benjamin" isn't really an insult. And, correct me if I wrong, but isn't Coach, "Benjamin Coach Wade" on Facebook? In the grand scheme of things, Coach is still in the game and Spacey isn't. That's all that matters! Please, if I got upset every time someone called me "Mystic Young Beaver", there wouldn't be enough hours in the day to get anything done. Get over it, move on.
Over at Savannah, the mood is very different. A coquettish scamp named ChickenHawk (Elyse) is draping herself all over our god of the sea, Ozzy, and life is but a dream. The sand is white, the water is aquamarine, a cool breeze blows through the palm trees, and it's just another lazy day in the South Pacific. Meanwhile, a bespectacled gangly fellow is busy carrying a thimble full of twigs back to camp. If Cochran can't win at challenges and can't lie supine with the ladyfolk fanning him with giant leaves, then he'll be the camp's housekeeper and make himself impossible to vote off. ChickenHawk nonchalantly places her hand on Ozzy's thigh as she throws her head back and laughs, "You're the little Cochran that could!" She walks her fingers one by one up the inside of Ozzy's shorts while Ozzy swats them away and asks Cochran how it is he spells his name. While the public handjob was mildly uncomfortable for Cochran to witness, this questioning of how to spell his name is positively nightmarish. There's only reason to want to know how to spell his name and that's to write it down at Tribal Council. Cochran drops his thimble of twigs, tells Ozzy not to worry his pretty little head about things like spelling or phonetics, and is thankfully interrupted by Dawn who is just dying to gossip all about Rhode Island.
Dawn Dawn the soccer mom tells her tribe how the Impala's aren't targeting the weak at all. Instead, they're targeting everyone who's anti-Coach. She thinks she's giving her tribe valuable information when, in fact, the look on Ozzy's face is one of, "Shut up!" Trust me, the last thing Ozzy wants is everyone thinking that going after a vet is a good idea. Without thinking, he blurts out, "If Coach is smart, he'll get rid of Welch's soon." Mary Jane's (Jim) eyebrows do a 180 and he asks, "Why would you get rid of Welch's?!" Thankfully, motormouth Dawn was still talking about all the new recipes she got down at the hair salon so no one really heard (or paid attention to) Mary Jane's question. Mary Jane, however, thinks Ozzy revealing that if he were Coach, he'd get rid of Welch's before the Merge is very telling. The equivalent to someone like Welch's at Savannah is Mary Jane or Keith. Does this mean one of them could be next on Ozzy's list? Mary Jane and his dead eyes smile with this new knowledge as he calmly puts it in his pocket and begins to make plans for ChickenHawk's departure.
Back at Impala, Welch's has spent the entire day playing and replaying everything that went on at Rhode Island over and over again in his mind. Out of all the things to worry about on Survivor, the lunatic rantings of a woman on her way out are pretty low down on the list in my mind. Welch's, however, is more concerned than ever about his well being now and worries that, come Merge time, he'll be a huge target. He decides then and there that it's in his best interest to go looking for the Hidden Immunity Idol and make sure he has an insurance plan for down the road. Hey, I agree. Get the Idol. Everyone should be hunting for that damn Idol. The second you get to camp, you should be searching for that thing. You can't be obnoxious about it like Christine Barrett Browning, Kristina (one of my favorite bitches of all time), or Nanook was, but you should definitely make a little time everyday to start looking. That's what I would do. Then again, I'd also smuggle a flask in my hoo-ha and have extensions made out of Twizzlers woven into my hair beforehand. So, you know, whatevs.
With the heat bearing down on his back, Welch's moseys this-a-way and that-a-way wondering where that Idol could be. He walks by a tree, looks down, and boom! - he finds the clue. It says a whole lot of mumbo jumbo about the tides and trees and the Idol being out of reach. I'm no wizard, but I think that translates to "The Idol is up in a tree on the beach." Compared to other clues in the past that have read, "The Idol is somewhere in your camp.", it's pretty specific. With a pair of snorkle goggles strapped to his head, Welch's swings from limb to limb and searches tree after tree after tree. If you've seen one South Pacifican tree, you've seen them all. The leaves begin to jumble, the branches entwine into mazes of confusion, and it's all too much for an innocent grape boy to take. Welch's then decides to enlist the help of his good friends Coach and Sophie. *smacks self in head* Welch's, no! What good is Coach or Sophie finding the Idol going to do for you? If they find it, it's their Idol.
So, the Three Stooges separate and each goes off into a different direction. Coach carefully combs the beach and after a thorough search of one or two trees, he too decides that he is in need of assistance. However, the assistance he seeks isn't from another tribe member. It's from a much higher power - God. With a few choice words to his lord and savior and another ascension up a tree, Coach finds the Idol and not a thing in the world can wipe the smile off his face. Fire may represent life to Dimples, but this Idol represents life to Coach. When all hope seemed lost and that nasty cloud of "Benjamin" was hanging over his head, God took the time out of his busy schedule and turned that frown upside down. Wasn't that nice of Him?
Over at Savannah, Cochran is continuing his "I am valuable!" bar tour and is about to embark on a little fishing escapade with Ozzy. If he uses his hands thoughtfully, he too can deliver our monkey boy a handjob before the day is through. First off, what's up with the tribes having boats? A reader sent me a Facebook message a while ago asking, "Hey Lala, why do these a-holes have friggin' boats?" I paraphrased that a little as I like to give the impression that all of my readers are hell raising hooligans. I replied, "I do not know milady, but please do not curse around me." I never heard back from her so I can only assume she lives in a town like in Footloose and was arrested for not only dancing on tables topless, but for cursing like a sailor.
Ozzy reluctantly tosses Cochran into the boat and off they go in search of sustenance. I'm not sure what Cochran did the whole time, but I know Ozzy pontificated a whole hell of a lot about how fishing is oh so hard. His fingers get pruny, his hair frizzes, it takes forever for his shorts to dry, and underwater is a handjob-free environment which, if you're Ozzy, is the purest form of torture. Once Ozzy spears his bounty, he takes the long sea god walk back to shore. It's a funny walk with slow strides, a spear in one hand, and fish in the other. The womenfolk awaiting on the beach squeal and cheer as he approaches while Cochran rolled his eyes in the background and promptly tumbled over the side of the boat. With the rest of the camp feeding Ozzy grapes one by one, Cochran crawls onto shore and glares at all the laziness in anger. The jealousy is running deep within Cochran, but he needs to keep it in check. Yes, Ozzy is everything Cochran isn't, but Ozzy isn't invincible. Let him get comfortable. Let him feel safe. Play along. He'll get what he deserves soon enough.
And this brings us to the big Immunity Challenge or what I like call Herpe Haven. What you are about to witness my friends is an exercise in lust and gluttony. In the center of the challenge area stands Dimples with an evil little smile on his face. "Come on in guys!", he giggles to himself. And then we see it, two giant pig carcasses hanging on a spit just waiting to be devoured. Drool begins to drip down Rancher Rick's chin while Ozzy thinks to himself, "I could have killed that... if I wanted to." For today's challenge, each tribe, with their hands tied behind their back, will take bites out of their pigs and then spit the bites into a basket. Tribe members might be tempted to eat the piggy, but they'll risk losing the challenge. The tribe who has the most meat in their basket wins Immunity plus a Reward of veggies, spices, and bread. Survivors ready, go!
I fully expected the spitting out of the meat to be kind of gross, but what I didn't expect was a delicious display of lovemaking. It wasn't exactly Mickey Rourke and Kim Basinger in 9 1/2 Weeks - ham doesn't have that sexy thang that honey does - but there was a lot of licking and biting and sucking and spitting. Dawn the soccer mom dove right into Keith's tonsils, Edna tongue wrestled a little bit with Coach, and even Rancher Rick got a tad frisky with Brandon. But it was when Mikayla stood helpless with a piece of pork belly hanging from her teeth that I surprised myself by shouting, "Brandon, here's your chance!" Right there, in the middle of all the meat flying and the sauce dripping, Brandon finally got to do what he's wanted to do for so so long. He got all up in that bitch! Hoo yeah! Way to go buddy. I don't know why, but I was happy for young Hantz in that moment. Maybe now that it's all out of his system and Mikayla is nothing more than another chick with ham in her teeth, he'll stop being such a weirdo and get his head back in the game.
In the end, no matter how much phlegm Mary Jane deposited into the Savannah's basket (barf), it wasn't enough to beat those Impalas. Was it the bite Rancher Rick dropped in the dirt and Mikayla stopped to pick up that made the difference? I don't know, but... IMPALA WINS IMMUNITY!!! Better yet, they win all the spit-covered meat they could ever want.
While the Impalas are enjoying a feast of ham, spit, mucus, the Savannah's are sad little monkeys. Dawn swiffers the camp looking for the other half of her molar while ChickenHawk sat bitching about the breakouts that are inevitable in her near future. Cochran scoffs and says, "You think breakouts are bad? We're all going to have oral herpes tomorrow." *stifles giggles* I still have no idea if he was being serious or just being a total dick, but that shit was funny. There's nothing like putting the fear of an incurable sexually transmitted disease into your fellow tribemates to promote tribe unity. Naturally, everyone else is horrified, but Cochran isn't finished! He goes on to tell his tribe that 99.9% of people have herpes. LOL As this is a very scientific blog, I googled, "How many people have herpes?" The answer is 1 in 6 - which, quite honestly, is just as bad as 99.9%. I had no idea the number was that high. Gross. Well, it's a good thing Cochran isn't a med student. At least there's that.
After Cochran essentially calls his tribe a gaggle of whores, he peeks out from behind his glasses and asks, "Anyone want me to open them a coconut? I'm getting really good at it." No way! You probably touched your mouth to pick out some meat and then you'll touch the machete and then the machete will touch the coconut and it'll be a herpified free for all! That's how those canteloupe people died you know. Slicing through the bacteria. I don't know if ChickenHawk was pissed off by the herpes remark or what, but the second Cochran turns his back, she mocks him for trying so hard. And, let's face it, he is. It's painfully obvious he's sucking up to the very people he hates and it makes me cringe every time he does it. Running around cleaning up after people, doesn't make you valuable. It makes you weak. Don't get me wrong, I like Cochran and I'm kind of rooting for him. I just wish he'd stop being so obvious.
With Cochran off dusting the trees and borrowing Dawn's Swiffer, Ozzy tells his alliance to vote for Cochran at Tribal Council. Thankfully, Dawn has the wherewithal to question this decision and immediately goes to Cochran to tell him that ChickenHawk needs to go home tonight. Cochran takes it to Mary Jane and now it's up to Mary Jane to get that 4th vote they need. He approaches the Energizer Bunny with the intel about Ozzy saying Coach should get rid of Welch's and the Bunny agrees that ChickenHawk needs to go. For some reason though, that freaky bunny wants to actually tell Ozzy about the ChickenHawk plan. He's scared Ozzy won't trust him anymore. To that I say, "Who cares!" Ozzy not only has the majority right now, but he also has the Idol. Remember, Energizer Bunny knows about the Idol. If you're going to go so far as to vote out a member of your alliance, you might as well go balls to the wall and continue on the path that will cripple Ozzy. Take away his paramour and then, maybe next week, take away his Idol. Easy peasy.
We arrive at Tribal Council and - boo hoo - everyone cut their lips on the meat! Oh please, I broke my freaking toe yesterday and I walk like the gentleman in the above photo now. Then again, zombies are the new vampires. Hot. Anyhow, don't bitch to me about how you bit your lip while face first in a hog's ass while competing for a million dollars. That's like me saying I got a paper cut entering the Publisher's Clearing House. Talk to me when you've got a penis fish or your fingers melted off.
I hate to do this because you know how I love my tribals, but real life is intervening and I've got to cut this one short today. In the end, it came down to ChickenHawk thinking they should keep the tribe strong, Cochran bitching about not wearing his retainer, and Dawn asking Dimples if he knows anyone in casting over at Extreme Couponing. With 2 votes for Cochran, 2 votes for Dawn (Keith you pussy!), and 3 votes for ChickenHawk. ChickenHawk is the 5th person voted out of Survivor South Pacific.
So, what did you guys think of last night's episode? Should Welch's have told Coach and Sophie about the Idol clue? Is God looking out for Coach? Will Mikayla give birth to a short stocky daughter who likes to play sports in her underwear? Comment it out bitches and have a great day!
24 comments:
I love your Survivor post ALMOST as much as BB!ReplyDelete
"Invitation to Sex" photo caption for Dawn, Dawn the Soccer Mom (which you have to sing)& Energizer Bunny. That was my first laugh out loud moment ( I refuse to write lol).ReplyDelete
Next chuckle moment was...Dawn swiffers the camp...
Now, why does Energizer Bunny care if Ozzie trusts him. They will have the majority, and I don't get his thinking here. Vote Ozzie off.
ALso, Welches should have looked harder for the idol. They aren't that hard to find now that we all know the obvious places they hide them. In holes in trees. Also, what's up with Welches sweater and collar? He's so proper looking.
- SidonieOctober 13, 2011 at 8:18 PM
Keith and Whitney are morons. Now -nobody- on the tribe trusts them, and they also outed themselves as a voting pair.ReplyDelete
I'm getting sick of Ozzy. I actually snorted out loud when he said he had a partially dislocated jaw or whatever he said. You can't have a partially dislocated anything...it's just sore. Ugh, he makes me cringe.ReplyDelete
Lala, your blog is hilarious and I check often after each episode, waiting with baited breath for your updates.
- AnonymousOctober 13, 2011 at 8:40 PM
I am glad Elyse is gone - she and the other girl (Wendy? Whitney?) remind me too much of the last season Rob-o-robots. Public hand jobs and grape feeding could be amusing only for a little while, then it becomes boring to watch.ReplyDelete
You don't seem to be a big fan of Jim, but he does deserve credit for making these past few episodes quite good. Without him it would be too predictable - John being voted off first, Dawn next. Now it's anybody's guess what could happen next. Good.
- AnonymousOctober 13, 2011 at 10:12 PM
I laughed too at the thought of Dawn with a swiffer. In fact all your references to Dawn make me laugh Ms Lala.ReplyDelete
I'm with Sidonie, Keith and Whitney are dumb, now they've have alienated themselves from everyone. Mary Jane may be annoying but at least he's thinking. Ozzy isn't thinking since he obviously thought that he could just cruise to the end. Maybe he needed to have a glance at Rob's playbook from last season on how to hypnotise stupid, pretty people.
- kandeekaneOctober 13, 2011 at 11:16 PM
Spacey said Hunka Dory. Not Hunky Dory. I actually commented during the show to my son about how she pronounced it.ReplyDelete
After her tirade I was thinking WTF?! They need a translator to type the closed captioning for those of us that are not from the hood. I find it amazing that people from the hood actually understand everything she said. It's kinda weird. All her posse from the hood were probably saying "Right on, you go girl" while we are all sitting there thinking WTF did she just say?
I did not even catch the Brandon/Makayla meat thing, I will have to go back and watch that part again. I'm surprised God didn't strike him dead for that. I wonder if he had to repent or say 3 Hail Mary's or something like that afterword.
How'd ya like the previews for next week where Ozzy cries like a little bitch about ChickenHawk and makes some comment about being a free agent. Wouldn't it be GREAT if Coch-Train actually won this while Ozzy gets booted? It pisses me off when they bring back people you love only for that person to then turn into a big ole douche bag and people then start to hate them. That is what is happening with Ozzy. I hate it when he lays around and acts like he is so fucking entitled.
Also don't people watch previous seasons and see that you CAN NOT lay around and get all cozy with the top dog? Ozzy totally screwed up ChickenHawks game. ChickenHawk screwed her own game up too but anyway ya know what I mean? They never vote out the top dog (Ozzy) at first, instead they always vote out the person that makes the mistake of getting too close to the top dog. They have done it before. When are people gonna learn?
Great blog as always. I have to remember not to eat or drink while reading this cuz I almost choked to death laughing so hard.
- kandeekaneOctober 14, 2011 at 1:17 AM
Check out this link. It is to the secret scenes/clips for Survivor on their website. I was watching a bunch of them last nite and I found this one of Semhar when she first went to Rhode Island. She is given a stick about 8 inches long with fishing line on it to try and catch fish with it. She goes looking for worms and she is looking up in the trees and says, "You would think that there would be all kinds of worms seeing how we're in the jungle." Then she is laying/sitting on this branch that hangs over the water and she is fully clothed and she slips off and falls in the water, she shrieks and says, "Oh this sucks." It's pretty funny.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 14, 2011 at 9:33 AM
If I cared just a little bit more, I would take the time to reverse the DVR and listen to Spacey's rants over and over again until I had the translation down. I'm pretty sure that "Hunky dory hell no. All y'all gonna go ta hell wit gasoline draw's awn!" translates to "Liar, liar, pants on fire!" Which leaves me wondering what other wisdom she's been imparting.ReplyDelete
This group of Survivors is SO much better than last season's, because I think they really want to win the million dollars. BUT ... when it comes to strategizing they aren't the sharpest crayons in the box. (I wonder how Spacey would say that?)
@kandeekane -- I do check out the 'secret scenes', but I skipped all of Semhar's--as I really didn't want to hear another syllable of her 'spoken word'. But this was a funny scene. I had to watch her fall in the water a couple of times. I don't even understand what the hell she was doing, as there were clearly no worms in this particular tree. Classic Hoops!ReplyDelete
Oh, the crudity of this episode, however, *was* poetry. (all poetry is better sans Hoops.) ...I was so glad I finished eating my dinner before we got to the challenge. Yikes. That Spit-Cam was cra-zy!!! And genius. And it seems that at least one of the teams (Impala) was using saliva as a strategy. *yucky shiver* ...I too missed the scene with Lil-H and the Menstruative Devil. Will go back to check it out, most definitely!
And speaking of yucky...so it seems that *oral* herpes stats go more like this: "About 50 percent to 80 percent of the adult population in the United States has oral herpes, with as many as 90% having the virus by age 50." ...As I am nearing the latter age, that really grosses me out. This will be a definite factor in keeping things strong with my squeeze. I'm scared to go out there and kiss anyone new in my age bracket now!!
Brilliant recap, as always. I really, truly do look forward to your recaps more than I look forward to the actual episode. Peace out, bitches!
- yours trulyOctober 14, 2011 at 1:07 PM
I'm most concerned about your broken toe. Buy the smaller bottles of gin in plastic.ReplyDelete
I was liking Coach earlier in the season. He came out of his shell this week and was referring to himself in the third person again. High fives for God(s).
Poor Ozzy and his jaw. What's the problem, Chickenhawk is small breasted. She's also gone, tsk tsk, and her after tribal comments said her spirit is broken. Who can I trust, boo hoo.
Sprinkle some glitter on that toe and remove that flask from you know where. Ewww. It all makes sense now.
- AnonymousOctober 14, 2011 at 11:47 PM
@yourstruly, YES-YES, the Dragon lives!!! i was sooo excited when the 'real' coach came creeping out as soon as he felt confident enough. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I wouldn't mind a little more of this!ReplyDelete
And as for Ozzy--what do you wanna bet he spends a long time pouting, licking his wounds. I bet he refuses to go fishing any more too!! (If so, wouldn't that be a great way to piss off the people that have to write down a name at tribal council?) Awesome. I hope he's a weepy mess!!
Overall: one of the more interesting seasons in a long time, don't ya think? Can't wait for next week!
- I have a penis fishOctober 15, 2011 at 2:30 PM
I presume you listen to Mr Cesternino's podcasts. If not then you should. The recent Stacey Powell interview was Blam!ReplyDelete
I'm enjoying this season quite a lot. I'm ever so glad that Coach Wade is doing well. Many years ago, when he and I found ourselves in the lonely wilds of the Amazon jungle together, it was he who taught me how to seduce a fish into my penis. I hope he tells that story to the other castaways because if they roll their eyes in disbelief he'll be able to show them his own penis fish, thus reinforcing his credibility.
Dear Lala, it concerns me that you felt the need to rush the blog, particularly after such a fascinating episode. Yesterday I spoke to all of your readers personally and I can assure you that everyone is in agreement; we would prefer a belated blog to a compromised blog. What does it matter if you post two or even three days after the broadcast? We're here for laughs after all, not synopses.
And now I must go because real life is intervening and I have a broken toe and my fingers have melted and I have a partially dislocated jaw and my damn penis fish just keeps BITCHING on and on about me drinking too much and "when are you gonna get that promotion?!"
...I need a drink.
- AnonymousOctober 15, 2011 at 3:56 PM
Fabulous as always Lala! I just don't see why they were so focused on Elyse and not realizing the golden opportunity to cut Ozzy now. Oh well... Can't hardy wait for the Ozzy pity party next week. SHould be fun!ReplyDelete
Penis Fish, Actually, I have never listened to the podcasts. That requires way too much time and effort on my part. As does your 72 hour blog writing plan. I'll chalk that cockamamie idea up to a lapse in sanity and pretend I never heard it.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousOctober 16, 2011 at 12:10 AM
I re-watched the episode for the boyfriend, and could barely contain my rabid glee at being able to see Brandon kiss Mikayla. I was baby sitting the night it aired, and thoguht for sure I had simply missed it due to the demonic force of a 3 year old. But then, lo and behold, my feeling were let down! Sorry to say lala, it looks like Brandon smooches Sophie, not the whore of Babylon. I am highly upset that you got me all excited for William Patrick Stuart-Houston (wiki it ;-D ), only to be let down. I demand compensation in the form of extra gin and glitter next week.ReplyDelete
As always, I love your blog lala. Hope you have a fabulously bitchy week!
- ...hungoverOctober 16, 2011 at 1:30 AM
Sorry Lala, I have many cockamamie ideas. In fact "Cockamamie" is my middle name - yep that's me; John Cockamamie Coch-Train (no relation to the current season player). I was not suggesting that you devote 72 hours to writing your blogs (that would be, uh, cockamamie) but asking can you not post-pone them if real-life intrudes? You are on a deadline?ReplyDelete
I was just a little disappointed that the denouement re-cap didn't include, well, a little more "bitchiness" directed at that so damn smug "oh Jeff we all know what it's like to be picked last"/ "I'm sure Cochran will be thrilled just to have had the experience" coattail grabbing pretty girl Elyse. The sex up to that point was great, don't get me wrong, but I sure do like my money shots. Hey, maybe she'll do something stupid over at Redemption Island and you'll get a chance to spurt a little bitch-cum on her next week.
Sorry to hear about your toe...
à votre santé
I thought it was obvious I made up the Brandon/Mikayla thing. Oh well. I hope no one fact checks Brandon's forehead tattoo that says "ENCHILADA" or goes down to the Registrar and discovers that Christine Wilkes Booth doesn't actually exist. That would be embarrassing.ReplyDelete
Penis Fish, What can I say? I have off weeks. It happens to the best of us.
- non-herpetic fanOctober 16, 2011 at 1:45 PM
I am a rabid fan of your blog - not only for the Survivor heckling, but also for the other, sometimes more important, information. I did not know that zombies are the new vampires. My teenagers will be glad that I now know this.ReplyDelete
off weeks?? This post made me laugh more than ever! It could be because as I read this I'm watching my NY Giants, do everything to lose a game. So it's always great to have a laugh. The first part about herpes, and then the second part about herpes as well had me dying! What's funny is Brandon could have given herpes to Mikayla or vica versa and he doesn't even know it! I like how Welch couldn't find the idol, but mysteriously Benjamin searches two trees and BAM! Idol. Could be editing, could be CBS trying to make it less obvious about giving the Idol to another returning player. What's that Coach? Stacey hurt your feelings? Here's an idol! It would have made me more upset, but that Welch guy is so paranoid he wants to have a strong alliance and trust by any means necessary. What pissed me off more was the whole voting out Elyse thing. If these people all ready are going behind Ozzy's back, why not go for the kill? Ozzy has no idea what's going on, especially since he thinks he's running the show. VOTE HIM OUT YOU IDIOTS!! Plus for the fact as you said, Keith knows he has the idol. Flush it out AND get rid of a strong player. Maybe it's too early, but going after Elyse is just gonna make him work harder to screw everyone. I don't know, that's just me. Btw, when you wrote "life is but a dream" I got that damn "Sh-Boom Life Could Be A Dream" song stuck in my head >.< Hope your toe and everything is better. :DReplyDelete
Brandon doesn't have an enchalada tattoo?ReplyDelete
Now you have gone too far, Lala. Fake talking clams and fem bots and pretty pony's are all fine and well, but when you lie about a tattoo, I take it to heart.
P.S.- I never watched any of Ozzy's seasons before. Was he always this...douche-y? He really annoys me, so I can only hope that he had previously been an OK guy for everyone to treat him like the second coming of Jebus. Can anyone enlighten me on this? His smug is more nauseating than smog.
"Don't bitch to me about how you bit your lip while face first in a hog's ass while competing for a million dollars" is now my favorite quote EVER! I'm just glad I hadn't taken a swig of anything just before reading it, or I'd now be buying a new computer!! ;-DReplyDelete
Well, Bitch, a truly bitchy recap. I won't jump you about not doing the detailed play by play on the Tribal Council. Your oxy probably just kicked in and you were feeling too warm and fuzzy to slice anyone. Happens to all of us.ReplyDelete
I also am enjoying this season and it is because of Cochran, Mary Jane and I suspect we will see more strident game play out of Sophie before long.
A tight wrap, ice, elevation and drugs will get you through the next week or so with that broken toe.
- I HAD a penis fishOctober 17, 2011 at 7:13 PM
Sad news to report. I was making love to a whore last night and the condom broke. My dearest Veronica managed to swim through the hole and was lost to me. No longer is she a penis fish... she has become a whore vagina fish.ReplyDelete
Oh, Veronica - how I miss thee...
As one gets older one realises that dealing with loss is part of life. I have come to terms with her fate. C'est la vie...
M said...
Sober now (ugh, reality) and having re-read my earlier post I realise that I was more critical than I intended ("...compromised blog"). My thinking was that you must have a deadline and that it is either a: externally imposed or b: internally imposed, i.e you set it yourself. If it is the latter it was my intention to reassure you that your readers (and yes, I presumed to speak for all of your readers) ought not be a factor in any self-imposed deadline. Post your blog whenever you damn well please, bitch... we are happy to wait. My apologies for expressing myself poorly.
...and now I must make haste as I wish to replace my beloved Veronica, but not with another penis fish. Instead I have decided to try a rectal eel, and the rectal eel store closes soon.
C U next week Alligatorrrr uh, geek? beak? I need a leak?


text:
Cochran and Michael in "Tubby Lunchbox" Episode 7 of Season 26
John Cochran and Michael Snow of the Bikal Tribe during the seventh episode of SURVIVOR: CARAMOAN – FANS VS. FAVORITES, Wednesday, March 27 (8:00-9:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network. #Survivor. Photo: Monty Brinton/CBS© 2013 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.


text:
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> Assembly of States Parties > Sessions > 8th Session
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8th Session
From 18 to 26 November 2009, the eighth session of the Assembly of States Parties (ASP) to the Rome Statute of the ICC was held in The Hague, Netherlands. States parties adopted the Courts budget for 2010 and discussed a number of matters, including cooperation, victims and defence issues, and communications as well as preparations for the 2010 Review Conference, to name but a few. The Assembly of States Parties also elected Kuniko Ozaki (Japan) and Silvia Fernández de Gurmendi (Argentina) to serve as ICC judges for nine years. More than 200 NGOs attended as observers and contributed to the debate through advocacy meetings, regional lunches, two press conferences, statements in the plenary, and the submission of position papers from the Coalition's issue-based teams.
This page features the various statements, papers and reports issues by NGOs around the eighth ASP session as well as daily summaries of the event.
For more information about the ASP, including ASP reports, decisions and States parties declarations, please visit the ICC website.
Updates of the Assembly
Media Digests


text:
Who Is Barney Frank? By Vasko Kohlmayer March 5, 2009 Barney Frank's Voting Record By Discover The Networks Is Barney Frank? By Thomas Sowell October 21, 2010 Is Barney Frank? (Part 2) By Thomas Sowell October 22, 2010 VIDEOS: Barney Frank: Plenty of Rich People that We Can Tax October 20, 2008 Timeline Shows Bush, McCain Warning Dems of Financial and Housing Crisis; Meltdown September 24, 2008
See also: Congressional Progressive Caucus Barnett "Barney" Frank was born in March 1940 to a Jewish family in Bayonne, New Jersey. He graduated from Harvard College in 1962. From 1968-1971, he served as chief assistant to Boston mayor Kevin White. He then spent a year as administrative assistant to Congressman Michael Harrington. From 1972-1980, Frank was a member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives. In 1977 he earned a Juris Doctorate from Harvard Law School; two years later he became a member of the Massachusetts Bar. Also during the 1970s, Frank was a part-time instructor at the University of Massachusetts (Boston), the John F. Kennedy School of Government, and Boston University. In 1980 Frank, a Democrat, ran for the U.S. House of Representatives in Massachusetts' Fourth Congressional District and won narrowly. In 1982 the Fourth District was reconfigured geographically, and Frank won re-election by a full 20 percentage points. Since then, he has been re-elected every two years, usually by wide margins. In May 1986 Frank co-sponsored -- along with Eleanor Holmes Norton, Gloria Steinem, and several other political and activist leaders -- a "New Directions" conference in Washington, DC which was "supported" by the Democratic Socialists of America. Also in the 1980s, Frank criticized a federal domestic-spying program -- which monitored the activities of teachers, clerics and political activists suspected of being disloyal to America -- as a "Cold War hangover" and "a waste of time." A key supervisor of the program was former FBI special agent Robert Hanssen, who at the time was selling U.S. secrets to the Soviet Union. As a member of the House of Representatives, Frank developed a reputation for consistently voting to slash funding for the CIA, the FBI, and the U.S. military. He also advocated the loosening of immigration-law exclusions that previously had served to prevent people holding totalitarian or anti-American ideologies from entering the country, and to facilitate the deportation of legal aliens who had caused unrest or had engaged in subversive activities on American soil. Frank derisively categorized such exclusions as "relics of the McCarthy era." Frank crafted a comprehensive immigration-exclusion amendment which, over the objections of the State Department, became temporary law in 1987. This amendment made it illegal for the government use ideological considerations as a basis for barring immigrants or other foreign nationals with radical views from entering the United States. It also greatly increased the difficulty of deporting such individuals once they were in the U.S. For his efforts in this regard, Frank received an award from the National Emergency Civil Liberties Committee in 1989. In 1990 Congress passed the Immigration and Nationality Act, wherein Frank's ideological-exclusions amendment remained mostly, though not entirely, intact. The final amendment stated, as Frank had stipulated, that an alien could not be excluded from entry into the U.S., nor deported once there, "because of any past, current or expected beliefs, statements or associations which, if engaged in by a United States citizen in the United States, would be protected under the Constitution." Frank had wanted, in addition, to prevent the U.S. from denying entry to immigrants based on their past "activities," but the Bush State Department pressured him to drop that word from the amendment's verbiage. James R. Edwards of the Hudson Institute sums up the overall effect of Frank's amendment:
"[T]he 1990 Immigration Act's revision of exclusion grounds ... made it much easier for aliens who hold radical, dangerous, anti-American or subversive political beliefs to enter and remain in the United States. This perversion of the First Amendment means the guy who preaches hatred, pollutes hearts and minds, steeps persuadable people in reasons to harm Americans and wage war from within against America ... gets a free pass."
"[T]he 1990 Immigration Act's revision of exclusion grounds ... made it much easier for aliens who hold radical, dangerous, anti-American or subversive political beliefs to enter and remain in the United States. This perversion of the First Amendment means the guy who preaches hatred, pollutes hearts and minds, steeps persuadable people in reasons to harm Americans and wage war from within against America ... gets a free pass."
In 1988 Frank voted against U.S. aid to the "Contras" who were fighting against the Marxist-Leninist Sandinista government of Nicaragua. In January 2000, while Frank was a member of the House Subcommittee on Immigration Claims, terrorism expert Steven Emerson appeared before that Subcommittee and gave detailed testimony about the threat posed by the many foreign Islamic radicals who were entering the U.S. each year. After the 9/11 terrorist attacks, the Patriot Act became law and Congressman Frank's ideological exclusion amendment was effectively suspended; visa laws were significantly tightened and the enforcement of immigration laws was increased. Frank did not approve of these changes. "When 3,000 Americans were murdered by illegal immigrant terrorists on September 11," he said, "that was the end of rational immigration policy in the United States." Sex Scandal: In 1987 Frank publicly announced that he was a homosexual. Three years later the House of Representatives, acting on the recommendation of the House Ethics Committee, voted by a 408-18 margin to reprimand the congressman for having "reflected discredit upon the House." At issue was the fact that Frank had paid for sex from a male prostitute named Steve Gobie, whom he subsequently hired as a personal "aide." Frank also had paid for Gobie's psychiatric treatments; had used his political influence to dismiss 33 parking tickets for the prostitute; and had written, on congressional stationery, letters on Gobie's behalf to Virginia probation officials. Gobie, for his part, had used Frank's Capitol Hill apartment as a house of prostitution for 18 months. The congressman later claimed that he had been unaware of Gobie's illegal activities inside the apartment, and that he had fired the aide upon learning of them. Reflecting later on the nature of his relationship with Gobie, Frank characterized himself as an unwitting "good liberal" who had gotten "suckered" and "victimized" while "trying to help" the young sex worker. "Thinking I was going to be Henry Higgins and trying to turn him into Pygmalion was the biggest mistake I've made," Frank said at a news conference. In a 2004 retrospective discussion about the Gobie affair, Frank accused Republicans and conservative media outlets of "plotting to ruin my social life," and suggested that he, like the sex-scandal-plagued former President Bill Clinton, was fighting a "fundamental battle for the soul of America." Congressman Frank and the Housing / Financial Crisis of 2008: Frank has had numerous close ties to the mortgage-lending giants Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, both of which suffered economic collapse in 2008 as a result of government policies -- most notably the Community Reinvestment Act -- mandating that they lower their lending standards in order to ensure that larger numbers of undercapitalized borrowers -- particularly nonwhite minorities -- could be approved for mortgage loans (so-called "subprime loans"). Frank, who between 1989 and 2008 received campaign contributions totaling $42,350 from Fannie and Freddie, actively promoted these policies. Starting in the early 1990s, Frank sought to stifle efforts by regulators, Congress, and the White House to place some oversight over Fannie and Freddie's risky lending practices. In 1991, when Frank was just beginning a seven-year personal relationship with Fannie Mae executive Herb Moses (who helped develop many of Fannie's housing-related lending programs), the congressman pushed for reduced restrictions on two- and three-family home mortgages, even though they were defaulting at twice and five times the rate of single-family homes, respectively. During that 1991-98 period, Frank was a member of the House Banking Committee, which had jurisdiction over Fannie Mae. When Republican Congressman Jim Leach sought to impose stronger regulation on Fannie and Freddie in 1992, Frank worked to block the move. In 2000 Frank rejected yet another attempt to regulate the Fannie-Freddie loans, calling such regulation unnecessary because there was "no federal liability there whatsoever." In 2001, White House chief economist N. Gregory Mankiw warned that the government's "implicit subsidy" of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, coupled with loans to unqualified borrowers, was placing the entire American financial system at great risk. Frank, who wielded immense influence as the ranking member of the House Committee on Financial Services (which oversees the housing and banking industries), denounced Mankiw and declared that he (Frank) had no "concern about housing." Even after federal regulators discovered in 2003 that Fannie and Freddie executives had inflated their earnings statements by some $10.6 billion in order to boost their own bonuses, and after President Bush called for what the New York Times described as the housing-finance industry's "most significant regulatory overhaul" in a decade, Frank maintained: "Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are not facing any kind of financial crisis.... The more people exaggerate these problems, the more pressure there is on these companies, the less we will see in terms of affordable housing." Also in 2003, Frank lauded Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac for having "played a very useful role in helping make housing more affordable." Critics of their lending practices, he said, "exaggerate a threat of safety" and "conjure up the possibility of serious financial losses to the Treasury, which I do not see." Because he saw no threat that financial calamity might result from the subprime loans that had become so commonplace in the mortgage industry, Frank pushed for Fannie and Freddie to make even greater numbers of those loans. "I believe that we, as the Federal Government," the congressman said, "have probably done too little rather than too much to push [Fannie and Freddie] to meet the goals of affordable housing and to set reasonable goals." "I would like to get Fannie and Freddie more deeply into low-income housing and possibly moving into something that is more explicitly a subsidy," said Frank. "... I want to roll the dice a little bit more in this situation towards subsidized housing." Moreover, Frank worried that critics of lower lending standards might create "pressure" which would, in turn, lead to "less ... affordable housing." In 2004 Frank and 75 other House Democrats (including such notables as Nancy Pelosi, Maxine Waters, and Charles Rangel) took exception to George W. Bush's public expression of concern about the risky loans that Fannie Mae and and Freddie Mac were making. The Representatives sent the President a letter warning that "an exclusive focus on safety and soundness is likely to come, in practice, at the expense of affordable housing."
In June 2005, Frank said the following about his – and the House Financial Services Committee's – efforts to promote home-ownership for low-income people:
"Obviously, speculation is never a good thing. But those who argue now that housing prices are now at the point of a bubble seem to me to be missing a very important point. Unlike previous examples we have had, where substantial excessive inflation of prices later caused some problems, we are talking here about an entity, home ownership. Homes, where there is not the degree of leverage that we've seen elsewhere. This is not the dot-com situation, where you had problems when people invested in a business plan where there was no reality. People building fiber optic cable for which there was no need. Homes that are occupied may see ebb and flow of price at a certain percentage level, but you're not going to see the collapse that you see when people talk about a bubble. So those of us on our committee will continue to push for home ownership."
"Obviously, speculation is never a good thing. But those who argue now that housing prices are now at the point of a bubble seem to me to be missing a very important point. Unlike previous examples we have had, where substantial excessive inflation of prices later caused some problems, we are talking here about an entity, home ownership. Homes, where there is not the degree of leverage that we've seen elsewhere. This is not the dot-com situation, where you had problems when people invested in a business plan where there was no reality. People building fiber optic cable for which there was no need. Homes that are occupied may see ebb and flow of price at a certain percentage level, but you're not going to see the collapse that you see when people talk about a bubble. So those of us on our committee will continue to push for home ownership."
When the Office of Federal Housing Enterprise Oversight, or OFHEO (the agency responsible for overseeing Fannie and Freddie), in 2004 issued a 211-page report condemning irregularities in Fannie Mae's accounting, Frank said: "It is clear that a leadership change at OFHEO is overdue." In 2007 Frank became chairman of the House Financial Services Committee. That same year the mortgage crisis first began to manifest itself, as a result of the large number of defaults on the subprime loans which Frank had long advocated. Yet the congressman attributed the crisis not to the lending policies he had been espousing, but rather to the allegedly greedy practices of banks and inadequate regulatory oversight. "The subprime crisis," he said, "demonstrates the serious economic and social consequences that result from too little regulation." In 2008 Frank similarly blamed the crisis on "excessive deregulation" and "bad decisions that were made by people in the private sector thanks to a conservative philosophy that says the market knows best." Frank has defended ACORN and other, likeminded activist groups which have spearheaded the movement demanding that underqualified minority borrowers be given access to subprime loans and lower eligibility standards. According to the congressman, these organizations are composed of "people who are trying very hard to preserve some equity and some social justice," and "people whose only crime was to offend powerful political interests because they cared about equity." In 2008 Frank was asked how the U.S. government ought to address the nation's financial crisis. He replied:
"I think at this point there needs to be a focus on an immediate increase in spending, and I think this is a time when deficit fear has to take a second seat. I do think this is a time for a very important kind of dose of Keynesianism. Yes, I believe later on, there should be tax increases. Speaking personally, I think there are a lot of very rich people out there whom we can tax at a point down the road and recover some of this money."
"I think at this point there needs to be a focus on an immediate increase in spending, and I think this is a time when deficit fear has to take a second seat. I do think this is a time for a very important kind of dose of Keynesianism. Yes, I believe later on, there should be tax increases. Speaking personally, I think there are a lot of very rich people out there whom we can tax at a point down the road and recover some of this money."
Frank endorsed the massive government bailouts of the banking industry (under the $700 billion Troubled Asset Relief Program, or TARP) in 2008 and 2009, saying: "This is equivalent to what FDR had to do ... to save capitalism from its own excesses." In February 2009, Frank pledged that he would not accept campaign donations from any banks that had received TARP money, or from political action committees (PACs) tied to such institutions. But in fact, he went on to take more than $40,000 in contributions from such banks and their PACs in 2009 and 2010. In December 2008, Frank improperly inserted into the TARP bill a provision which helped OneUnited Bank, a minority-owned institution with close ties to Rep. Maxine Waters (whose husband was a former OneUnited director) and a long history of mismanagement, to get $12 million in TARP funds. When he was later asked about the scandal, Frank admitted that he had spoken to a "federal regulator" but said he could not remember whom it was. In 2010, however, Judicial Watch revealed that the supposedly nameless bureaucrat was actually then-Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson. On September 16, 2009, the U.S. House Committee on Financial Services met to discuss the Community Reinvestment Modernization Act of 2009, which was designed to expand the scope of the original Community Reinvestment Act to include non-bank financial institutions, such as credit unions. Presiding over those hearings was Barney Frank.
More on Congressman Frank: Frank has been a guest speaker at the national convention of the American Constitution Society. In 2003 Frank served on the advisory committee of the Progressive Majority, a political networking group dedicated to electing leftist candidates to public office. In 2005 Frank joined the Out of Iraq Congressional Caucus. In 2006 Frank was one of only three members of the House of Representatives to vote against the Respect for America's Fallen Heroes Act, which restricted political protests -- most notably those led by the anti-gay, anti-war activist Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church -- at U.S. soldiers' funerals. Frank opposed the bill, which the Senate passed unanimously, on civil liberties and constitutional grounds. In January 2007, Frank chastised the Bush administration for its initial "incompetence" in responding to Hurrican Katrina, which had devastated New Orleans in 2005. Adding that the administration, since then, had done "virtually nothing to alleviate" the loss of housing by the (mostly black) poor in that city, Frank continued: "What I believe is, at this point, you're not talking about incompetence, you're talking about values ... when in a calculated way you refuse to do anything for well over a year after the disaster. The policy, I think, is ethnic cleansing by inaction." In 2008 Frank called for a 25 percent reduction in U.S. military spending. "The math is compelling," he wrote. "If we do not make reductions approximating 25 percent of the military budget starting fairly soon, it will be impossible to continue to fund an adequate level of domestic activity." On December 2, 2009, Congressman Frank and Senate Banking Committee chairman Chris Dodd together proposed, in the House of Representatives, a financial-reform bill designed to minimize the chances that another financial crisis like that of 2008 would occur. The conference committee that reported on June 29, 2010 voted to name the bill "The Dodd–Frank Wall Street Reform and Consumer Protection Act." Nearly 2,000 pages long, this legislation, according to the conservative Heritage Foundation, "represents the largest expansion of Washington's role in the financial industry since the Great Depression" and increases the likelihood of another crisis. To view the Heritage Foundation's analysis of the bill, click here and here. In October 2011, Frank said that he supported the Occupy Wall Street movement "to the extent that they obey the law." Frank added that he wished "that kind of energy was around two years ago when we were voting on the financial reform bill. We'd have a tougher bill." Frank serves as an honorary president of Americans for Democratic Action, along with such notables as John Lewis, Jim McDermott, George McGovern, and Charles Rangel. He is also a member of the socialist-leaning Progressive Caucus in the House of Representatives. For an overview of key votes Frank has cast during the course of his legislative career, click here. On November 28, 2011, Frank announced that he would retire from Congress at the conclusion of his term in January 2013. On May 26, 2012, Frank was a guest speaker at the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth undergraduate commencement, where he received the Chancellor's Distinguished Service Medal. In the course of his remarks, Frank made a controversial comment (eliciting an audible gasp from the audience) about Hubie Jones, an African American who received an honorary doctorate. Referencing a recent incident where a "white Hispanic" man in Florida had shot and killed Trayvon Martin, a black teenager whose hooded sweatshirt may have led the gunman to suspect that the youngster was engaged in criminal activity, Frank said the following about (and to) Hubie Jones: "I'm particularly pleased that Hubie got an honorary degree today. You know, when you get an honorary degree they give you one of these [a hood signifying the recipient's honor] and Hubie, I think you now got a hoodie you can wear and no one will shoot at you. So, I think you'll feel, I hope, pretty protected by that." On July 7, 2012, Frank wed his longtime partner, 42-year-old James Ready, thereby becoming the first sitting congressman to enter into a same-sex marriage. A portion of this profile is adapted from the article "Immigrating Terror," authored by Rocco DiPippo and published by FrontPagemag.com on April 3, 2006.
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How it can lag behind Android?
I didn't think there were any Androids at this price because of it's greater hardware demands.
Whatever happened to bang per buck evaluations?
With touchscreen smartphones all the rage, handsets with a decent spec and a 3in or larger screen are now filtering down to PAYG packages priced at around £100. For that sort of money you don't have a huge choice - the Orange San Francisco, Samsung Europa and Sony Ericsson X10 Mini stand out as the few worth considering. The …
...and you get quite a lot.
Specifically, good call quality, long battery life, a good enough UI and operating system, some nice features.
You don't get an app store full of fluff for the hard of thinking, it doesn't cost you £500, and fanbois (most shades of) won't want you in their club.
It just gets better.
I know it's currently trendy to diss Nokia, but come on, what happened to function over form?
Disclaimer: I own and love my 5800, running the same OS, I think. And in cold weather I can keep my gloves on in cold weather, because it's got a resistive screen.
For you a resistive screen is fine. Lovely.
I personally have hated each and every phone I have played with which had a resistive screen.
Each to their own I suppose.
Yet again I would personally prefer an app store filled with huge amounts of crud, compared with an app store filled with empty space.
Dissing Nokia when it's falling further and further behind it's competition is allowed I would have thought.
Personally I like Nokia's hardware, but wouldn't trust their UI department/software testers to be left in charge of not sticking their pencils in their own eyes.
Having recently checked it out, with support from at least EA, Gameloft and Rovio many of the same big name games that tend to dominate the other app stores seemed to be present on the Nokia. That said, I'm still acting under the impression that increased developer support is a good thing.
Vodafone is offering the X10 Mini on PAYG for £130 and the Orange San Francisco is available for £100 PAYG which makes them both realistic alternatives to the C5-03 for any potential smartphone buyer on a budget.
I've got a Nokia 5800 and I'm trying out the Orange San Francisco (sounds like a bargain on the face of it at £100 with a good res screen). The android OS is great but a rogue app is using data (after doing a factory reset it's OK - I'm wondering if it's Facebook which I can't un-install as it's a "system" app! - this time I didn't sign into it). The build quality is worse. And there's an issue with it forgetting about the SIM card. I had to install the "blade wifi fix" app to sort out a Wifi problem. The sat nav is on-line so no use when I'm on holiday and Google don't cover as many countries as Ovi anyway. it's also very basic in comparison.
Even if I spent a bit more on a better android phone, I'd then be into the no battery life issue. Two guys at work leave theirs plugged in permanently when they're at home or at their desk!
I'm not sure why I want android other than everyone else has one and it looks prettier. Being a geek I like the idea of the linux command line and clever apps but on the other hand, I do need a phone that works as a phone (and occasional sat nav) and doesn't cost more than a laptop.
The bundled Google Sat Nav app is on-line (mostly, there's some caching which will help on a short drive to the shops, but not a holiday to Greece) but there's a plethora of paid and free apps that'll do a similar job off-line if you're roaming abroad.
If you're geek enough to like the idea of a linux command line then get yourself to the Modaco forum and flash their custom ROM for the ZTE Blade. It used to be fiddly but it's really point and click at this stage. No bother at all for any Register reader and takes off a few of the rough edges and adds some geeky features like Samba shares and extra VPN support to the kernel.
I'd be interested if anyone knows which app "Anonymous Coward" was talking about as I've never found a free off-line sat nav app for Android. Tried Skobbler and Waze but they are on-line.
Ovi maps is the killer app for me so if there's an alternative, I'd be interested to know. I know Google is moving that way but as pointed out, not good enough for a holiday (not that they cover Greece anyway for voice navigation).
I wouldn't mind too much paying for a decent sat nav app as a one off expense but then paying £30 or whatever each time I go to a different country for the maps? I'll stick with Ovi for now.
Let's not forget the extra £10-15 to unlock it, if you want to run a budget phone on a budget PAYG network. Making it nearly twice the price of an unlocked San Francisco (free unlock available).
Unless you really want to pay more in call charges than you did for the phone in a frighteningly short time.
It's unfortunate for Nokia, Android is redefining what 'budget' means.
this is very orange SF like - its base and can be bought through tesco direct for those of us who dont like the idea of using cards over the net. Mine was for droid development but apart from the camera and battery issues I like it enough to carry around with me to meetings and it sits on my desk every day - plugged into a spare USB port :-)
You can stick a 16GB mSD in it (mine came from novatech who are just brill as usual).
I did have to reformat the card to get it to work but was done with a Windows box - I did not have to stick ext2fs on it :-)
Unlock is free and if you move to giffgaff you get free net and texts and a wadge of minutes for 10ukp. No tethering allowed but I can live with that. This eliminates the data use issue - which is a NIGHTMARE on VF - the racer cost me 1UKP/hour on VF which was very suspect because my credit was dropping even when I had the phone powered off!
It still does not have a price listed on mobilefun, but I would expect it to be in the sub 160 quid price bracket.
In any case, with Experia X10 mini (with OS upgrade) and C7 being only a few tenners away I do not see what the point of this phone is.
Nokia is once again showing that it is a portfolio driven company. Lots of portfolio products that have marginal differences with products overstepping each other's target audiences. It is basically carpet bombing the market instead of targeting specifically the actual segments with 5-6 well designed products.


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Interview: Bewitched, Enchanted and Hypnotized by Writer Parris Afton Bonds
The renowned Parris Afton Bonds is as richly layered with talent as a delectable seven layer cake from the Cake Boss himself.
Ms. Bonds creates compelling stories with awareness, energy, grit, integrity, love, mysticism, and understanding. She is a dreamer, a lover, and a romantic. With every novel penned, she infuses dollops of her essence to pull the reader in and captivates them with her literary sorcery.
With over forty novels to her name, her writing career is interminable. Bonds is the co-founder of Southwest Writers Workshop, cofounder and first vice president of Romance Writers of America. The Parris Award was recognized in her name by the Southwest Writers Workshop to honor a published novelist who had given extraordinarily of time and talent to other writers. Beneficiaries of the Parris Award comprise of Tony Hillerman and the Pulitzer Prize nominee Norman Zollinger.
Ms. Bonds has yet again given me the honor of an interview, and I am tremendously grateful. Growing up amongst pandemonium from my family, Parris Afton Bonds was a saving grace. Ms. Bonds instilled within me a dynamism to visualize outside the scope of what I was born into. I will always be appreciative for the imaginings and once again another remarkable full circle moment.
Which of your heroines do you relate to the most?
Naturally, Diane, a vast part of me is woven into each of my heroines both their strengths and idiosyncrasies and their flaws and foibles; however, their features and mine have only coincidental, if any, resemblances.
Which book defines Parris Afton Bonds the woman?
Two books, actually describe me as a woman. Most recently, Indian Affairs. Early in life I was more intimidated by males, perhaps because of biblical patriarchy ingrained in me as only a hard-shell Baptist child understands. Gradually, I grew in confidence and began to value my purpose and, more importantly, others. However, Blue Moon captures my wild adventuresome essence which I strove, somewhat unsuccessfully, to contain as I raised my five sons.
Which book defines Parris Afton Bonds the writer?
Dust Devil, unequivocally. The saga expresses my soul, its depths, its yearnings, its faith in the Circle of Life.
Have you ever considered writing another genre?
I have written in other genres, but after the success of Fifty Shades Of Grey, my banker urged me to consider delving into the genre of erotic romance.
If you weren't a writer, what would you like to be doing?
Loving. Anything, but loving with a passion. Otherwise, life for me would be only a mere existence.
Describe yourself in three words?
Passionate. Adventuresome. Flawed.
Let's discuss Call Me Crazy, Parris. What intrigues you about this story premise?
Call Me Crazy's call to adventure intrigues me because it expresses, for me, not only the siren's song that lures you on what may be a wild goose chase but also the summons to explore, against one's will, perhaps, the expanses of the soul. On one level, Call Me Crazy represents a madcap gallop across old Arabia on camels and on another level a magic carpet glide through the entangled ways of love.
What do you admire most about Janet Lomayestewa?
I most admire her resilience, her indomitability-- something I sense in you, Diane.
In what way is Janet like you?
At this point in my life, I think Janet most represents my evolvement to "Here I am, take me or leave me; either way I'll make it just fine, thank you very much."
What characteristics of Janet's do you wish you possessed?
I would like to have a dollop more of her grittiness.
Diane, as always, thank you lighting the darkness with your lovely candle.
Thank you, Parris, for the terrific conversation and for your extremely kind words. I'd also like to mention Dust Devil is a free download on Amazon this Saturday, April 6, 2013.
View the original article on blogcritics.org


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Court of Appeals
History of the seal
The seal for the Wisconsin Court of Appeals, approved by the Supreme Court in 2000, is based on a design originally commissioned in 1958 by the State Bar of Wisconsin. This "Lady Justice" was the model for a large wrought-iron sculpture for the entry wall of the Bar's then-new headquarters in Madison. The figure eventually became the association's official logo, appearing on State Bar stationery and publications for many years. The sculpture, which was removed when the Bar Center was remodeled in the 1990s, was then mounted above the Carroll Street entrance of the former Dane County Courthouse on Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. In 2006, it was moved to the new courthouse and is mounted upon the South Hamilton Street façade.
The seal's creator, James S. Watrous, was an artist and professor of art and art history at the University of Wisconsin from 1935 to 1978. Watrous is perhaps best known for the colorful Paul Bunyan murals he completed in the Memorial Union in 1936. He is also remembered as the person who nearly single-handedly brought the University of Wisconsin's Elvehjem Museum of Art into being.
Watrous, who died in 1999 at age 90, was also a respected author, mosaicist, and watercolorist whose works have been exhibited at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, the Carnegie Institute, and the Pennsylvania Academy of the Fine Arts. His murals, painted under the aegis of the Works Progress Administration in the 1930s and early 1940s, grace the lobbies of federal buildings in Grand Rapids, Minnesota, and Park Falls, Wisconsin.
Watrous's widow, Margaret Modie Watrous, his daughter, Lynne Watrous Eich (wife of Court of Appeals former Chief Judge William Eich), and his sons, Stephen and Tom, granted the court permission to use the design for its new seal.


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Whenever I make them I always whip up a second batch to experiment with, adding different ingredients like fruit purees or infusing the milk with a range of additions. Some of my favourites include the Rare Tea Company's aromatic and floral Jasmine tea (the best tea in the world, in my book) and lemon zest or a herb like lemon verbena.
The latest batch I made were during one of my 'caramel phases', when everything I make has a caramel lurking in it somewhere (including some rather exquisite cocktails). Essentially this is rather like a set butterscotch but a tad lighter. It's devilishly delicious – and would be perfect served with some of the season's poached rhubarb and a crushed amaretti biscuit for texture.
Ingredients (serves 4)
• 100g sugar
• 1 vanilla pod
• 250ml whole milk
• 250ml double cream
• 2.5 sheets leaf gelatin
In a heavy based saucepan melt the sugar over a low heat. Do not stir. When the mixture is liquid add the seeds and the shell of the vanilla pod. Allow the mixture to cook for several minutes until it goes the colour of mahogany but don't let it burn. As far as caramel is concerned, the darker it is – the more flavour you have,
Pour in the cream. The mixture will bubble furiously for a moment and the sugar may seize, but keep stirring and it will all go liquid again. Add the milk and cook for a further couple of minutes. Remove from the heat, strain and reserve.
Soften the gelatin in a bowl of cold water for five minutes. Take out of the bowl and squeeze the excess water from it. Add to the butterscotch mixture. Pour into four dariole molds or ramekins and refrigerate for at least four hours, but preferably overnight.
Either serve in the ramekins or if you want to turn them out, dip the molds or ramekins in boiling water for a few seconds before up-turning on a plate. They may need a little shake.


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Markets rallied early only to see an afternoon swoon as large cap indexes were in record setting position on Thursday.
Many bulls explained the early rally as a delayed reaction to Janet Yellen's testimony before the senate Wednesday. Frankly the Fed chairwoman said everything and nothing in testimony littered with contradictory happy talk. The early rally was further enhanced by the ECB, which projected interest rate cuts likely in June and put Mario Draghi's credibility on the line.
But stocks fell later on Thursday as energy, utilities, biotech and small cap sectors led declines. Market valuations are also being challenged as the Nasdaq Composite COMP, +0.12% is trading at roughly 35 times reported earnings while Biotechnology is at 40 times reported earnings. The Dow DJIA, +0.37% managed to eke-out a small gain, but that's all the average investor sees if they're paying attention.
But under the surface troubles loom with markets. (See small-cap chart below).
Jobless claims fell about as much as they rose the previous week at 319,000 vs. 330,000 expected and the prior 346,000. There was little market reaction. Closely watched China markets rallied slightly as exports improved primarily due to the cheaper yuan. Indexes there only rose 0.3%.
Earnings news featured a double-digit drop in Tesla Motors TSLA, -2.49% and a double-digit gain for Keurig Green Mountain US:GMCR . Earnings news overall have been volatile while earnings beats are common on much lowered estimates.
Most of the news coming out of Ukraine is just the ongoing card game Putin is playing. He says he'll "withdraw" troops but the Pentagon hasn't confirmed that. Meanwhile, Ukrainian separatist rebels demand a vote for East Ukraine independence, nixing any peace conference. Putin then says they're out of his control adding "sadly" the peace proposal is dead. The bottom line there seems unchanged as Putin continues to slow-play his hand keeping the West guessing. Meanwhile, Russia's war games intensify and China and Russia sign a joint military agreement.
Leading market sectors higher included: Financials XLF, +0.79% , Insurance KIE, +0.76% , REITs ICF, +0.24% , Semiconductors SMH, -0.61% , Retail XRT, -0.02% , Transportation IYT, -0.31% , England EWU, +1.12% , Turkey TUR, +2.06% , South Korea EWY, +0.09% , Taiwan EWT, +0.37% , Australia EWA, +0.50% , Chile ECH, -0.03% and the U.S. dollar UUP, -0.34% .
Leading market sectors lower included: small caps IWM, +0.94% , Energy XLE, +0.37% , Metals and Mining XME, +0.04% , Natural Gas Producers FCG, -0.07% , Utilities XLU, -0.15% , Biotech IBB, +0.41% , Healthcare XLV, +0.15% , Solar TAN, +1.67% , Materials XLB, +0.56% , Bonds TLT, +0.09% , Natural Gas UNG, +0.63% , Hong Kong EWH, +0.08% , Brazil EWZ, +0.33% , Mexico EWW, -0.41% , India EPI, +1.87% , Thailand THD, +0.63% , Vietnam VNM, -1.16% , Silver SLV, -0.22% and the euro FXE, +0.27% .
The top 20 market movers by percentage change in volume whether rising or falling is available daily.
iShares Russell 2000 Small Cap ETF IWM, +0.94% is displayed on a weekly chart which is now confirming the completion of a bearish head & shoulders pattern already registered on daily charts. This has been "the tell" for many investors for a market correction. This sector's divergence from big-cap peers (SPDR Dow Jones Industrial Average ETF Trust DIA, +0.53% & SPDR S&P 500 ETF Trust SPY, +0.23% ) has been impressive and reflects broad market damage under the surface. Chart details include from top to bottom Relative Strength Indicator; Custom MACD Histogram moving average; 5- & 10 period simple Moving Averages; and, Money Flow Index.
Volume was lighter on Thursday and breadth per the WSJ was negative.
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U.S. Sector ETFs & Bond Markets
Currency & commodity market ETFs
Overseas markets & ETFs
The NYMO is a market breadth indicator that is based on the difference between the number of advancing and declining issues on the NYSE. When readings are +60/-60 markets are extended short-term.
The McClellan Summation Index is a long-term version of the McClellan Oscillator. It is a market breadth indicator, and interpretation is similar to that of the McClellan Oscillator, except that it is more suited to major trends. I believe readings of +1000/-1000 reveal markets as much extended.
The VIX VIX, -6.32% is a widely used measure of market risk and is often referred to as the "investor fear gauge". Our own interpretation is highlighted in the chart above. The VIX measures the level of put option activity over a 30-day period. Greater buying of put options (protection) causes the index to rise.
Small-caps are only one of many sectors taking a dive as Social Media, Internet, Biotech, Alternative Energy and so forth are the weight that is dragging even big-cap issues lower. Defense is the order of the day until prior highs in all sectors are established.
Earnings reporting for the first-quarter is almost over. Next week we'll be getting more results from retailers. Analysts have been steadily reducing their estimates on that sector as winter has taken a toll.
Putin is slow-playing the situation in Ukraine and no doubt giggling over the West's ineptitude. This situation is going to stay in the headlines for some time to come.
Economic data Friday is limited to JOLTS report and Wholesale Trade. Let's not forget the many Fed governors out campaigning for their own views of policies.
Let's see what happens.
Dave Fry is founder and publisher of ETF Digest and has been writing articles on ETFs since 2001. He is the author of "Create Your own ETF Hedge Fund: A Do-It-Yourself Strategy for Private Wealth Management," (Wiley Finance), and "The Best ETFs: U.S. Equities, A Companion Guide to Building Your ETF Portfolio."
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