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James Bradford is a comedian, musician, and former cast member of the VH1 reality show Can't Get a Date. He's also formerly offered up his services as an escort on Craigslist. All of these experiences will be used in his show James Bradford is…Thick to take the audience on what is promised to be a "wild trip with some unexpected, uniquely interpreted cover tunes sprinkled between stories about prostitution, growing up queer in the American south and the perils of starring on reality TV." We caught up with James to ask him about his upcoming show.
WITOUT: It sounds like you are going to be telling some deeply personal stories on stage – is that something you've had to work on being comfortable with or have you always had a knack for being open about all the sad/dirty/funny details of your life?
JAMES BRADFORD: I think the sad & dirty parts of life are the only ones worth talking about. In comedy there are so many comedians interested in shocking people, so they just blathering about graphic shit that makes people uncomfortable on its face. People are far more shocked to hear me give a list of tips for wanna-be prostitutes (based on personal experience) than they would be if I just told a bunch of dick jokes.
I don't think there's any shame in the truth, so I don't have any reservations about telling it. I actually spent a good part of my 20's being a compulsive liar – this is absolutely true, I'm not bullshitting. I had zero self-confidence. I would pass other people's songs off as my own, anything that wasn't representative of who I actually am. Then I did the reality show. My theory is that if you do reality TV, once it's over you have to either completely own who you are, or move into a cave in the center of the Earth. I chose the former.
WO: Is there anything that you won't talk about on stage?
JB: There's very little that I won't talk about. Nothing is truly 'off limits.' I do tend to not try to be funny about things I don't really understand. Unless that *IS* the joke, you're just going to look like an asshole. I don't talk about cancer. My mom died of pancreatic cancer when I was 17, and I have a throw-away line about it in the show but that's it. Something is always not funny to someone, but more than that it's like…who is coming to my show to hear that sad sad story? "Hey my mom suffered and died, now here's a Rolling Stones cover!!!"
WO: How did you pick the songs for the show? Are they personal to you in any ways, or fit the stories you are telling? Are they all covers?
JB: The music in the show is a combination of covers and originals. The entire concept is inspired by comedienne Sandra Bernhard, particularly her 1985 one-woman show "Without You I'm Nothing." We've tried to weave the musical performances linearly with the monologues. This is not a Glee moment. No one is going to burst out into song as narrative. A lot of the songs are obscure tracks by really well known artists that you wouldn't expect to come up: Paula Abdul, Genesis, Janet Jackson… and though I loathe the idea of falling into the American Idol territory of 'reinterpreting' a song (which to them juts means turning a dance track into a ballad,) nothing we perform sounds anything like the original artist.
WO: Tell us about your band.
JB: I've put together a group of friggin' awesome people to make up my band The Mana-Manas. The musical part of the show is directed by Toshio Mana, who is also our guitarist. Toshio and I met when we filmed the reality show "Can't Get a Date," and we've been performing together ever since. He's like this Jack of all trades when it comes to music. Seriously, you could hand him a didgeridoo and say "Play me a Bjork track!" and in twenty seconds it would be done. We've got Melinda Gervasio, this kick-ass redheaded metro-dandy dyke with Billy Idol hair. She's like our white Sheila E. Well. Whiter.
Andrew Connors is on bass, and he's the token breeder in the band. It's not his fault. He is in former VH1 battle of the bands winning band Jumper. I never asked him, but I assume their band name refers to the article of clothing and not a suicidal person. Bianca Lindblad is on backing vocals and comes from a majorly heavy metal place; but she's also a trained opera singer. She has very large breasts and will be wearing a corset during the show…just so Andrew has something to look at during the monologues.
WO: Tell us about who else helped you out with the show.
JB: That's it for peeps actually on stage, but we've had some pretty amazing contributions from other people. Natasha Vargas-Cooper is a feminist journalist and ex-union organizer who writes satirical pieces for GQ, among other publications. Her book "Mad Men Unbuttoned" is all about 1960's pop culture. Julie Klausner is a comedian and TV writer who seems to be doing EVERYTHING these days. Her book "I Don't Care About Your Band" details her entertainingly disastrous dating history; and she currently hosts a podcast called "How Was Your Week?" that has had Joan Rivers, Steve Agee and Maria Bamford as guests (among others.) These two women both wrote somewhat similar essays that I've put together into a monologue for the show.
Nadya Ginsburg is a comedian and actress who has sort of become part of a power trio of comedy along with comedian Selene Luna and drag queen Jackie Beat. You may have seen their viral video spoof of the "Corn Syrup" commercial. Nadya is best known for her show "Madonnalogues" where she plays..guess who? She has contributed a special audio piece for the show that quite frankly might be better than the show itself!
Was this as unfunny as it felt? I should say something overtly funny…
James Bradford is…Thick plays September 13th and 14th at Tabu Lounge and Sports Bar. Tickets and more information can be found online.


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If you buy a PS3 copy, you get the PC/Mac version for free.
Dirty Console Gaming Peasants = 1Glorious PC Master Race = 1
Let's face it, for PS3/PC owners that aren't elitist this is a win/win proposition. Especially for those who are iffy about being able to run the game on their PC for whatever reason.

subset: commoncrawl


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Now that powerful HIV medications can slow down the progression of HIV-related disease and even AIDS, more common illnesses (such as heart disease and cancer) have become a greater concern for people living with the virus.
Still, some of the same old AIDS-related bugaboos continue to be a problem. A little knowledge about these other illnesses can help prevent them, and thus assist in maintaining a healthy life with HIV. First, some background information.
What's That?
In the beginning of the epidemic, and for a long time afterwards, opportunistic infections (OIs) were a major (if not the major) cause of death in people with AIDS. Opportunistic infections are those that can get stronger and cause illness as the immune system gets weaker (as can happen with untreated HIV).
OIs are a type of co-infection. For someone with a chronic (long-term) condition like HIV, having another infectious illness on top of it is called a "co-infection." For example, "He is co-infected with HIV and hepatitis C."
In HIV, other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are also co-infections. STIs continue to be a major concern in HIV.
U.S. Guidelines
The U.S. National Institutes of Health (NIH) publishes OI guidelines for people with HIV. (Electronic copies only are available; visit www.aidsinfo.nih.gov.
While vaccinations, prevention drugs (called "prophylaxis"), and better strategies for dealing with OIs helped save lives in the early 1990s, it was really the very effective HIV medications of the mid-90s that helped squash these infections. For this reason, the guidelines emphasize the use of HIV drugs for the prevention, as well as treatment, of OIs.
Ironically, there's an undesirable condition that's sometimes seen as a result of starting HIV therapy. It's called "IRIS," which stands for "immune reconstitution inflammatory syndrome." This syndrome is not yet well understood. It has generally been seen in people who have advanced immune damage (low T-cell count or high viral load) at the time they begin taking HIV medicine, or sometimes when they go back on it.
The "immune reconstitution" is a good thing. It means that the immune system is recovering, or getting stronger. The "inflammatory" part is not so good. Inflammation occurs when the body is fighting disease or injury. People who experience IRIS can become very sick as their body battles an OI.
At this point, according to the OI guidelines, it seems that IRIS can occur four to eight weeks after starting therapy, and is most commonly seen with tuberculosis (TB) or disseminated MAC (mycobacterium avium complex). It can be seen with any of the OIs, however. Each OI listed in the guidelines has a section on the influence of IRIS that is known so far.
Opportunistic Infections
Pneumocystis jirovecii pneumonia (PCP) is probably the most common or well-known OI. It used to be known as pneumocystis carinii pneumonia until the fungus jirovecii was found to be the actual cause, and the initials PCP were kept because they were so well known.
The major symptom of PCP (as with all pneumonias) is difficulty breathing. Anyone having a hard time breathing should go immediately to the emergency room. Unfortunately, it is still common for people to find out they are HIV-positive at the time they are diagnosed with PCP (and other OIs, as well). Getting tested for HIV earlier, and treated for it, helps avoid PCP and other illnesses.
Hepatitis A (HAV), hepatitis B (HBV), and hepatitis C (HCV) are viral diseases that cause inflammation of the liver. Prevention, or early diagnosis, is important because treatment can be very difficult, as well as expensive. Hep A can be picked up through unsanitary food preparation (as in using the restroom and not washing hands before handling food). Hep B can be acquired through blood contact (as sometimes occurs with anal sex, for example). Hep C can also be transmitted through blood-to-blood contact, as well as during sex. Hepatitis C is very common among injection drug users. Symptoms of a recent viral hepatitis infection include nausea and vomiting, but hep C may not cause symptoms.
Creamy white spots on the tongue are a sign of thrush (a yeast infection also known as "candidiasis," since it's from the Candida albicans fungus). The infection can travel down the throat to the esophagus (the tube that helps take food to the stomach), causing pain or burning sensations and making eating difficult. Diflucan (fluconazole) is the treatment of choice, but other drugs might be necessary, depending on the individual's infection.
Tuberculosis (TB) is more common in poorer countries, but is not that uncommon in the U.S. in people with HIV. TB, which is usually an infection of the lungs (although the pathogen can affect other parts of the body), causes coughing. TB diagnosis in a person with AIDS can be difficult. Time spent in places like correctional facilities, homeless shelters, and nursing homes might increase the risk of infection. TB medications must be taken for six months, sometimes longer.
CMV -- cytomegalovirus -- usually affects the eyes. It can lead to partial or full blindness. CMV is very common in the U.S., but because it is an "opportunistic" infection, it does not cause illness in most people who have it. Treatment consists of pills or IV (intravenous) medications, but the immune recovery seen with HIV therapy can bring CMV under control.
Sex, Sex, Sex
A little knowledge about OIs can help prevent them, and thus assist in maintaining a healthy life with HIV.
Syphilis remains a tremendous problem in gay communities throughout the country. That's why free testing and treatment is widely available. Check with the health department for a referral. An inexpensive penicillin shot treats syphilis. Sometimes, however, treatment is more complicated. The first sign of syphilis is a sore (called a "chancre"), or several of them. They are usually firm, round, small, and painless, and appear at the site of infection (mouth, vulva, penis, etc.). Contact with a chancre is what causes infection. Left untreated, the infection can then cause rash, especially on the palms of the hands and the bottoms of the feet. The rash, which usually does not cause itching, looks like rough red or brownish-red spots. Sometimes, the rash can be very light and hard to notice. There may also be fever, swollen lymph glands, sore throat, patchy hair loss, headaches, weight loss, muscle aches, and fatigue. Left untreated, syphilis can spread to the internal organs (heart, brain, liver, etc.). Again, free testing, and even free treatment, can be found.
People have been surprised to be diagnosed with gonorrhea in the throat, which they picked up during oral sex. Gonorrhea is easily treated with inexpensive pills. Symptoms include a painful or burning sensation when urinating, and a discharge from the penis or vagina. The discharge may be white, yellow, or green. Gonorrhea may cause pain or swelling of the testicles. In women, it may be confused with more common vaginal infections. Symptoms may be very mild or take a long time to appear. Antibiotics treat gonorrhea, but special ones may be necessary in some cases. That's because antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea has been around for a while. Therapy is usually combined with treatment for another STI, chlamydia.
Like gonorrhea, symptoms of chlamydia are frequently unseen, but are similar to the symptoms for gonorrhea. Some women may experience bleeding after sex or between periods and lower abdominal pain.
Herpes has been found to increase the risk of HIV infection. Flare-ups may be more common and more severe in people with HIV. One herpes drug, Valtrex (valacyclovir), is not recommended for people with suppressed immune systems.
HPV -- human papillomavirus -- causes genital warts. It can later cause abnormal cells (called "dysplasia"), and then may progress to cancer. These problems are more common and more severe in HIV-positive people. Regular Pap smears are recommended. In the future, anal Pap smears may become readily available. At this point, health care providers are rarely trained to do them. For now, a digital (finger) examination is recommended to feel for tumors. Anal cancer is more common in both men and women with HIV. If abnormal cells are found during a Pap smear, a teeny, tiny microscope can be used to examine the cervix, anus, or rectum. The cells can then be removed, but if the infection has spread, cancer chemotherapy (either in pills or intravenously) and/or radiation may be required. In women with HIV, a cone biopsy of the cervix (a cone-shaped removal of abnormal cells) is common.
Left untreated, any of the above conditions can cause illness. The following is a list of tips for staying healthy.
- People with HIV should get tested for a variety of co-infections, including hepatitis A, B, and C.
- Get vaccinated to avoid infections. People with HIV should get an annual flu shot (FluMist nasal spray is not recommended). They should get vaccinated against pneumococcal pneumonia, meningococcal meningitis, hepatitis A and B (there's a combination vaccine available), and measles, mumps, and rubella (MMR), if they were born after 1957 and did not get the shot in childhood. The MMR shot is not recommended for people with less than 200 T-cells. They should also get a combination vaccine against tetanus (relatively common among injection drug users) and diphtheria (often found in homeless people), but not more than once every 10 years. People under age 65 should get the triple TDAP shot -- tetanus, diphtheria, and pertussis (whooping cough), followed by TD booster shots.
- People with less than 200 CD4+ T-cells should take a medication to prevent PCP (Bactrim, TMP-SMX, Septra, Sulfatrim, or co-trimoxazole). This medication is inexpensive, and there are other medications available for people with sulfa allergies.
- Seeing a medical provider on a regular basis -- even if not taking HIV treatment -- can help catch an infection earlier rather than later, before it causes more damage or becomes more difficult to treat. Symptoms, even minor ones, should be brought up with the provider.
- Remember, strong HIV therapy (called "HAART" -- pronounced like "heart" -- for highly active antiretroviral therapy) is currently the best bet for preventing OIs and the damage and death they can cause.
Got a comment on this article? Write to us at email@example.com.


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|2011-12-08, 23:25
|Link #3024
Me at work
|2011-12-08, 23:43
|Link #3025
Senior Member
Guilty Crown is one funky anime. I absolutely loved its first couple of episodes, and thought they represented the start of a great sci-fi, action-packed, epic story. Then, flaws and weaknesses in the series increasingly became more and more pronounced on a week-by-week basis, to the point where I could only enjoy it through viewing it as a campy show.
Just when I had pretty much given up on compelling character drama, we get to see a fair bit of that last week (and a helluva lot more this week).
And now, when I had pretty much given up on getting a compelling suspenseful plot, Guilty Crown manages to deliver one in this week's episode. I have to agree with those who felt that Episode 9 was a really good episode, and possibly the best one of the series thus far.
Shu has shown nice, solid character development in this episode and the last, and Hare's reaction to how he's changed has also been engaging to watch. The dynamics between the two was excellent this week.
The BGM was noticeably gripping and top-notch this week, particularly for certain key scenes. And just when the viewer was growing comfortable with "the new Shu", Shu gets thrown a massive curveball in having to either kill someone or watch another person get killed. Very poignant moment of moral conflict, and I look forward to seeing how Shu tries to overcome the psychological trauma this has clearly inflicted on him.
I'll be pretty shocked if Guilty Crown can keep up the level of dramatic storytelling quality and character development shown in Episode 9, but I'd also love nothing better than to see that happen.
9/10 for Episode 9. I honestly have no significant complaints to make with it, and I thoroughly enjoyed watching it.
|2011-12-09, 00:08
|Link #3026
Senior Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Really good episode, the best part was that Shu has evolved so nicely as protagonist that he can carry the weight of the story without Gai or Inori close to back him up. The scenes with the Apocalypse-infected Endlave and the Lost Christmas flahsbacks were quite impressive, as it was the decisive moment when Jun's life string gets severed by the scissors void.
And talking about Inori, I have serious withdrawal symptoms because her screentime was low this week (only a short but interesting scene). Next episode better fix that.
|2011-12-09, 00:49
|Link #3030
My Girl ↓
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Update: Ortigas, Pasig, Phillippines
Age: 31
|2011-12-09, 01:08
|Link #3031
阿賀野型3番艦、矢矧 Lv173
Graphic Designer
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Belgium, Brussels
Age: 32
|2011-12-09, 01:42
|Link #3032
Yuuki Aoi
Join Date: Jul 2004
Yonebayashi Taku, a director whose only other directing credits on ANN are for one episode each of the two seasons of Kimi ni Todoke, and for co-direction of ep3 of this show. I continue to see little hints of shoujo here and there. Maybe in the brotherly love, and the complexity of the brothers' feelings, in ep9.
I enjoyed this ep, as others have. But I have enjoyed every ep, so that's nothing new. Lots of great characters here, at least if you're not turned off by quibble-worthy plot details, etc. I love Segai. His "don't feel guilty, you're human" was a classic. As was the truly horrendous act it accompanied. Pardon me for enjoying these transgressions. I'm only human, lol. My theory is that fantasy is where you get to enjoy evil acts so that you won't indulge in them in real life. By making them conscious in fantasy, you avoid letting them subconsciously take you over in real life. Jung's concept of the Shadow.
Shu's unstable character growth is interesting. Hare, as usual, is so easy to sympathize with. Someone in this thread saw the death flag for her long ago. Looks like he was right. I find Inori the most interesting, or at least mysterious, character of all. I would prefer to have seen more of her in this episode, but there was plenty to keep me glued to the screen anyway.
The highly positive ratings by ANN members please me. But the fact that I usually disagree with ratings there makes me uneasy, lol.
|2011-12-09, 03:42
|Link #3034
Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Am I the only one that hating this episode?
Spoiler for Rants...:
Don't get me wrong, I will continue to watch this and hoping that characters somehow will get better with some real developments. I still have a lot of expectation for the plot and I want to see how this will end.
|2011-12-09, 04:15
|Link #3035
Join Date: Feb 2010
Today episode like trying to show how confident Shu is, then throw in massive confusion. Remember when he talk with Gai in the phone, scene after OP song. Then in final scene he really scared with what he have done to Jun, after he promising -bla-bla-bla- to Yahiro.
I my self not really enjoying this episode but because this Apocalypse virus behave differently, I'll still watching until the end. Really need explanation on this virus. High probability virus from outer space.
What kind of virus that could infected living organism then infected a machine.
|2011-12-09, 04:26
|Link #3036
My Girl ↓
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Update: Ortigas, Pasig, Phillippines
Age: 31
Just something to think about....
|2011-12-09, 07:15
|Link #3037
Kana Hanazawa ♥
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: France
Age: 32
Well I'll be damned. A good Guilty Crown episode. Even Shu was likable this time around. He's become a lot more confident and brave under Gai's tutelage. The old Shu would have just made that awkward puppy face when Yashiro asked for his help and told him that had nothing to do with him before proceeding to cry in a corner and whine about how nobody likes him. I'm afraid what happened at the end of the episode will reverse the development he's undergone though... but there is also a chance it will strengthen his will once he gets over it. In any case, I expect he'll go into an emo phase next week, which would be pretty understandable given what he just went through. I'm hoping Hare will be the one who will help him overcome it.
Last edited by Klashikari; 2011-12-09 at 18:20.
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BOSTON — The headline news was that Don Mattingly publicly told the Dodgers' owners that dating had gone on long enough. He told them to commit to him as their manager or else, and he took the risk of a nasty breakup.
In other news Monday, the Dodgers dropped $28 million on a guy who never has played in the major leagues. It worked with Yasiel Puig and Hyun-Jin Ryu, each at greater cost, so the Dodgers get the benefit of the doubt on Cuban second baseman Alexander Guerrero.
Within the baseball world, the Dodgers' latest cash outlay prompted a few snickers about the team's supposed transformation into a player-development machine, and the spending restraint that would go along with it.
The Dodgers were just knocked out of the playoffs by baseball's truest player-development machine, the St. Louis Cardinals.
"I think they are a model organization," Dodgers President Stan Kasten said.
Of the 25 players on the National League Championship Series rosters, the Cardinals drafted 17 and the Dodgers five. That statistic might be misleading — the Dodgers' player-development system had been devastated under former owner Frank McCourt, and a home-grown major league team this season might have finished in last place — but another statistic might not be.
Since their World Series championship in 2006, the Cardinals never have spent more than $26 million on a free agent from outside the organization. The Dodgers topped that with Guerrero, and with Ryu, and with Puig, and with Zack Greinke. Of course, they also topped that with Andruw Jones, Juan Pierre and Jason Schmidt.
There is no team in baseball that does not proclaim its emphasis on player development. The ones that succeed, according to Cardinals General Manager John Mozeliak, are the ones with the resources to implement a plan and the discipline to stick to it.
He was reluctant to say too much about the Dodgers. It is not his place to discuss the strategy of other teams. He did acknowledge that the Dodgers have the resources to implement any plan — or several — rather than stick to a player-development model.
"If they're saying this is the mode they're looking for, it will be interesting to see if they can find it," Mozeliak said. "When you have a different set of resources that you can utilize, sometimes it's easier to make quicker or knee-jerk decisions. But the new ownership is highly energized, and they obviously want to be successful."
For now, the owners defer to Kasten, at least publicly. Kasten assembled a player-development machine with the Atlanta Braves, who won 11 consecutive National League East titles and three NL pennants from 1995-2005. That is his plan for the Dodgers, the foundation beyond the well-financed jump start provided by the new owners.
"Our goal for this off-season is to keep acquiring prospects, or to make trades to get younger guys to stock up our system," Kasten said.
"I really think we have moved from Phase 1, which was last year — putting the best team we could in place as quick as possible — and now we are focusing on Phase 2, which is development of our minor leagues, signing more of our draft picks, and getting more international prospects."
No Dodgers player has won the rookie-of-the-year award since 1996 — remember Todd Hollandsworth? — but Kasten says a new crop of young stars would sell well in L.A. Under O'Malley family ownership, the Dodgers mixed 12 rookies of the year with league-leading attendance.
"The Dodgers are the proof that you can do it," Kasten said.
But the Dodgers are not run by a family anymore. Their parent company owns the Hollywood Reporter, Dick Clark Productions and a round-the-clock Dodgers cable channel that kicks in next year — along with the Dodgers' new $8.5-billion television contract.
This is a star-driven team in a star-driven town.
And understand this: All those corporate entities are run by extremely competitive men. The Dodgers' ownership partners worked the clubhouse during the playoffs, and one player who spoke with them said he saw "no chance" the Dodgers would turn their backs on high-priced stars. He thought the owners might well fatten up the player-development system so the team would have more prospects to trade for stars.
"These guys want to win at everything," the player said.
There have been internal discussions about making a run at David Price, the ace of the Tampa Bay Rays. The Guerrero signing could be chalked up to player development — the Dodgers do not have a second base prospect ready to play every day, and Guerrero is cheaper and younger than Robinson Cano and Brandon Phillips — but a Price trade might rob a newly revitalized minor league system of three or four top prospects. That would not make sense without a new contract for Price, and one for him and another for Clayton Kershaw could run the Dodgers half a billion dollars.
The winter should be interesting. The baseball world waits to see if the Dodgers shut the door on Mattingly, and if they really can shut their wallet.
Twitter: @BillShaikin
Twitter: @BillShaikin


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Stephanie Burgis
When Kat Stephenson's family arrive in Bath in search of a suitor for her sister, it's not long before Kat discovers that the town of Bath is fizzing with wild magic. Stumbling upon a plot to harness the magic in the Roman Baths, Kat finds that her brother is unwittingly involved. To foil the plot and save her brother she must defy the Order of the Guardians and risk losing her magical powers, forever...
"A Tangle of Magicks is 300 pages of fun, fabulousness and magical frolics." So Many Books, So Little Time
"Mysterious, adventurous and absolutely hilarious." The Guardian, Children's Books Website
Steph will be hitting 9 of the most vibrant UK teen fiction blogs starting on publication day itself, 1st August, and ending on 9th August. Each stop will be offering an array of Katastic features including guest posts, Q&As and a vlog from Steph along with extracts and giveaways. What more could you want?
First off Steph is stopping off at the wonderful Chicklish where she'll be talking about her own adventure in Bath, trying the foul tasting waters of the Pump Room. Nice.
2nd August
So Many Books, So Little Time will be hosting the tour's first Q&A so make sure you visit to find out Steph's desert island books. The lovely Sophie has already posted her review so for some pre-tour reading, head there now.
3rd August
Find out about Steph's thoughts on literary heroines and why Kat turned out the way she is over at Fluttering Butterflies. Heroines forever! There will also be a review just in case you need a bit more persuading.
4th August
Writing matters over at Serendipity Reviews where Steph will be answering questions all about her writing techniques and her influences for Kat's adventures. There will also be a review and the first giveaway of the tour so make sure you enter!
5th August
Next Steph will be at Leanne Luce discussing her love of Bath and why she absolutely had no choice but to go and explore her favourite city once again when she decided to send Kat there for her second adventure. No choice whatsoever! Head here for another giveaway too.
6th August
Steph will be on the Book Angel's Saturday Spotlight today, writing about how the library in her American hometown gave her a chance to escape to England through the eyes of wonderfully written heroines. The Book Angel will also be posting her review.
7th August
The tour's extract hotspot will be at Turn The Page, so if you want a taste of Kat's second adventure this is the place to be. Turn The Page will also be hosting the last giveaway on the tour so make sure you enter to avoid a Kat shaped hole in your life.
8th August
The last Q&A of the tour will be over at Portrait Of A Woman so head here to find out Steph's take on writing YA/MG books and what she has coming up in the near future.
9th August
We arrive at the last stop with a first for the tour at Love Reading X where Steph will be dropping off a vlog for Kat fanatic Iffath where she'll be reading out an extract from A Tangle of Magicks. Definitely a highlight not to be missed!
Stephanie Burgis decided to be a writer when she was seven and sold her first short story when she was fifteen. She fell in love with Regency England when she discovered the novels of Jane Austen and Georgette Heyer. Now she writes full-time and lives in Wales with her husband, fellow writer Patrick Samphire, their son, and their crazy-but-sweet border collie, Maya.
For more from Steph, check out her website here or follow her on Twitter.
Steph will be signing copies of A Tangle of Magicks in Waterstone's in Bath from 1pm on Saturday 6th August and also in Waterstone's in Abergavenny on Friday 12th August from 6pm (pop into the store for a special invite for this event).


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A Sandwich A Day: Cook's Sandwich at Hillside Farmacy in Austin
A different sandwich profiled every single day.
Housed in an exquisitely renovated old building, Hillside Farmacy has all the components of a successful Austin restaurant: beautiful interior design with a vintage-French-apothecary vibe, beverages served in canning jars, and a locally-driven menu featuring sandwiches, salads, oysters, and a few entrées. Food products available for purchase are displayed on antique wooden cases, mimicking the medicines sold here when it was one the first African-American pharmacies in the city.
One item on the menu leaped out at me: the Cook's Sandwich ($10) with sliced pâté, bacon, mustard, pickles, arugula, and goat cheese. It sounded unbearably tangy and salty, but I couldn't help myself, so I ordered it anyway. I braced myself for that nostril burning sensation as I bit into the crusty white bread, but it wasn't there.
The flavors were surprisingly subtle considering the mix of ingredients, and the pâté was downright bland. I would have appreciated a heavier hand with the mustard and goat cheese; there was barely any on the sandwich.
The highlights were the perfectly cooked crispy bacon and a small side salad of lettuce and pickled red onions (that would actually be a nice addition to the sandwich). The housemade cucumber pickles added a hint of sourness and crunch, but it wasn't enough. The Cook's Sandwich was a decent attempt to hit all the current trendy flavor points, but I would be disappointed if that pâté was served to me on a charcuterie board.
Hillside Farmacy
1209 East 11th Street, Austin TX 78702 (map)


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Altitude is a Clean, Modern WordPress theme by Cudazi, perfect for many types of business, portfolio and personal uses. Explore the demo and videos to experience all this theme has to offer!
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Updates are 100% free after purchase, watch this section for any updated versions.
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Interior illustrators: Aaron Barlow, Andrew Moffatt-Vallance, Martin Rait
Editors: Martin Rait
Re-release under negotiation
Publication Date: October 1998
Pages: 21 (applicable to print, PDF and R-series iPhone ebooks)
Version: 1.0
Fanzine for Traveller roleplayingTroy Tempest, Virgil Tracy class longship by Andrew Moffatt-Vallance
Barbarians by Andrew Moffatt-Vallance
Light Relief by Martin Rait
NZ Colonies in the Solomani Sphere by Martin Rait
M:IW Sector update by Andrew Moffatt-Vallance
Because of issues with rightsholders, this issue will not be made available outside the sources mentioned here (while stock remains). Certain rights have expired or have been withdrawn by explicit request of an author. Articles from some authors are being republished in either TMS issue 11, or are being redone by the publisher and author for release as part of a generic RPG product, or one of our licensed game products. Material not reissued by this publisher needs to be queried directly with the author concerned.
If you have a digital copy of this issue, you do not have the rights to distribute this or make it available to other parties.This issue is available on the TMS CDr2 and is part of The original Meshan Saga Anthology.
Where to buy
Stock available at vendors may vary in price and level of inventory. Check with the vendor about this.


text:
Scala Library
extends Annotation
An annotation that gets applied to a selector in a match expression. If it is present, exhaustiveness warnings for that expression will be suppressed.
For example, compiling the code:
object test extends Application { def f(x: Option[int]) = x match { case Some(y) => y } f(None) }
will display the following warning:
test.scala:2: warning: does not cover case {object None} def f(x: Option[int]) = x match { ^ one warning found
The above message may be suppressed by substituting the expression
x with
(x: @unchecked). Then the
modified code will compile silently, but, in any case, a
will be raised at runtime.
|Methods inherited from AnyRef
|getClass, hashCode, equals, clone, toString, notify, notifyAll, wait, wait, wait, finalize, ==, !=, eq, ne, synchronized
|Methods inherited from Any
|==, !=, isInstanceOf, asInstanceOf
Scala Library


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A local delivery/service charge of £4.95 will be charged to your
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If the recipient is not available during the delivery they will
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• Delivery information
• If you place your order before 5.00pm on Monday to Friday it will be dispatched the same day to arrive the following day.
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We use only the freshest flowers available so varieties and colours may vary!
Customers who request delivery in a remote rural area, will be advised prior to delivery of any additional delivery charges.
If an order is placed for an area we do not cover we will inform you and refund your card.
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In the unlikely event that flower deliveries are not possible on the
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Born and raised in Burlington, Vermont, Deborah Benoit was always the one with the camera, ready to capture that special moment. It wasn't until after her family was grown that she became more serious about photography mastering the digital camera. It started with the Canon XTi. ...... She has expanded from photography to digital art and fractal art. There are so many ways to express ones creativity so she tries many different avenues.Her passion evolves around all nature but especially birds. Sitting and watching them, capturing their essence and spirit is just wonderful. She feels that photography and art helps to heal the soul and ones spirit, even illness. Digital Art, created by fractal programs on her computer occupies her time...
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Ski hill getting $264,000 in improvements
Council approves expenditure despite reservations
The Salmonberry Ski Hill will receive an addition $264,820 worth of terrain improvements before the snow flies after city administration convinced the Valdez City Council that more earthwork and other improvements were needed on the fledgling project.
With winter just around the corner, council members questioned why city administration was asking for budget approval this late in the game.
Todd Wegner, assistant city manager who was formerly head of the city's parks and recreation department said the city needed numerous permits to proceed with project, including a wetland delineation and other approvals by the State of Alaska and the Army Corp of Engineers.
"It took us a month, month and a half," to wade through much of the process Wegner said during Monday night's regular council meeting.
City manager John Hozey told council the additional earthworks will eliminate hazards in the uneven slope along the towline's path and bring other aspects of the project up to code. The heat shack at the bottom of the hill needs to be placed on a permanent foundation, for instance.
"We're out of compliance there," Todd said.
In the agenda statement to council, Wegner gave a synopsis of the projects development.
"Construction of the Salmonberry Ski Hill recreation facility began last year, and was unable to be completed due to timing, unanticipated conditions, and funding," the statement said. "With this contract the facility will see great improvement. The hill currently has a variety of existing terrain issues that inhibit user safety and increases difficulty for grooming equipment. Last year these issues were mitigated to some degree by a greater than average snowfall."
Others questioned how a project that was originally slated to cost less than $80,000 and was later budgeted at over $98,000, with an emergency cash infusion of $125,000 approved on top of that, now needed over a quarter of a million dollars in additional funding.
Chris Moulton, a member of the loose knit Snow Authority, the group that originally asked the city to reopen the hill to a skiing towrope, noted the city project included many features the group did not actually ask for.
"All that was not in the original plan," he said. "It always hurts to see these costs."
The council later voted 6-1 to approve the contract with Harris Sand & Gravel.
"This is a long term investment," council member Mike Wells said.
The agenda statement says the scope to be managed in this contract includes: Improvements such as a widening of the main tow rope path, 'leveling' out the adjoining areas, and general grading, installing an extension to the top bullwheel, with additional concrete work managing existing drainage, ditches, berms, and cuts and other needed improvements.


text:
About the book:
What if praying became a curse instead of a blessing?
Former Army Ranger Jagger Baird thought he had his hands full with the Tribe — the band of immortal vigilantes working to regain God's grace by killing those who oppose God. That was before he encountered the Clan, a ruthless group of immortals seeking an artifact that would give them unimaginable power, a piece of the Ten Commandments known as the Judgment Stone. Anyone who touches the stone can see into the spiritual world: angelic warriors, treacherous demons, and the blue threads of light that signal believers' communion with God.
Read the first chapter of The Judgment Stone, book 2 in the Immortal Files series, by Robert Liparulo.
I received this book from the publisher as part of the Christian Fiction Blog Alliance. I am an Amazon Associate and receive a small commission on sales through my affiliate links.


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The Margaret Jenkins Dance Company
The Margaret Jenkins Dance Company (MJDC) has been a part of the cultural fabric of San Francisco for over three decades—dedicated to the making and touring of new work, international exchange, and programs that support process, choreographic mentorship and performance opportunities. At the heart of the organization's mission is Ms. Jenkins belief that it is incumbent on us as artists to be in conversation through our work—to break the isolation and expand who sees and responds to the arts.
The MJDC was founded in San Francisco in 1973. Margaret Jenkins herself is a fifth-generation San Franciscan, steeped in its particular cultural and artistic traditions. Yet the origins of the Company's singular artistic philosophy can undoubtedly be found among the radical developments that took place in all the arts in the New York of the 1960's.
While studying and working with Merce Cunningham during that time, Jenkins began to reimagine the concepts of both choreographer and dance company. It was in the environment of Cunningham and John Cage that she was first exposed to the collaborative efforts of Robert Rauschenberg, Jasper Johns, Andy Warhol and many others, as well as to the music of Earle Brown, Gordon Mumma, Morton Feldman and Cage himself.
Jenkins returned to San Francisco in 1970 and immediately began to teach and make works prior to the formal founding of her Company three years later. Her goal was less to create a choreographic entity in the traditional sense than to fashion a fluid site for exploratory, collaborative interaction among all the arts, a place of "company" in its deepest meaning.
The dancers have been critical to the development of this highly physical and gestural world that is her signature. The Company creates dances by continually layering, disrupting rhythms and shattering spatial planes. There is a loose and brazen quality to their explorations, with an abundance of information offered through movement, music and spoken text. Jenkins has continued to emphasize this focus across her entire career, welcoming the participation of such multi-disciplinary artists as Rinde Eckert, Bruce Nauman, Terry Allen and Yoko Ono, and composers Paul Dresher, Jay Cloidt, Bill Fontana, Alvin Curran, David Lang, among others.
The MJDC began touring extensively in the late 1970s. During the NEA's National Dance Touring Program, the Company traveled throughout the United States on a regular basis. The Company has also traveled internationally in Western and Eastern Europe, as well as Asia. Dances have been commissioned by a long list of presenters, including the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco,CA, BAM (Brooklyn Academy of Music), NY, Clarice Smith Performing Arts Center at the University of Maryland, College Park, MD, the Krannert Center in Urbana, IL, the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, MN, Jacob's Pillow Dance Festival in Lee, MA, Cal Performances in Berkeley, CA, Arizona State University and University of Arizona, AZ, Peak Performances at Montclair University, NJ and on a number of occasions by Dance Center of Columbia College and the Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago, IL.
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text:
I've always had a romanticized view of what love is because I never really experienced while growing up. My parents aren't affectionate or emotional beings. They view love as taking care of your kids until they are old enough to fend for themselves and then their job is done. I always thought that love was when you like being with someone so much that you would rather be with the person than not be with him, that you would do whatever it takes to make that person happy and happy with you. I also thought that love was someone feeling and doing the same to me. With that love comes affection and comfort from life's harsh realities.
However, since the affair, I really have no clue what love is because I thought I was doing everything I needed to do to ensure love in our relationship. My husband wasn't, but I was able to deal with that. As long as I knew that he knew I loved him and that he appreciated what I did for him, I thought that it was okay. Until I found out that he truly didn't appreciate or care what I did for him.
I asked a question I already knew the answer to the other night to my husband. I asked, "Didn't you ever talk to her about how much you missed me and the kids?" Since he said they talked about everything because he was so depressed about his dad dying. At first he said no, but then tried to backtrack when he could tell that my heart blew up into a million pieces. He then said that he talked about me with his friends while she was standing right next to them. That's not what I call talking to her about how upset he was about being away from me and the kids.
Not talking to her about me shows that he really didn't hold me in his heart and as closely as I had thought he did. He always told me that she manipulated him into loving her. However, if he never talked about me, showed her how much he cares for me, and didn't wear his ring around her, that makes me think that she was thinking he wasn't that attached to me, which meant a very easy way in...
Through all our marriage difficulties, I never let go of my husband. I always held him as my husband and respected him as that. If I ever talked to a guy, I would talk about my husband. It was clear that I was attached and loved him.
So did he lose his love for me during that time? Did he forget what love was? What is love anyway? Everyone who has ever loved me has treated me badly or hasn't treated me the way I define it. I have thousands of emails where he tells her that he loves her but now he says that he didn't and it was all bullshit. Okay, so how do I know he loves me? His actions surely don't show that he did or does? What do I believe, especially when my trust for him has been completely broken?
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Defining Love After an Affair
I've always had a romanticized view of what love is because I never really experienced while growing up. My parents aren't affectionate or emotional beings. They view love as taking care of your kids until they are old enough to fend for themselves and then their job is done. I always thought that love was when you like being with someone so much that you would rather be with the person than not be with him, that you would do whatever it takes to make that person happy and happy with you. I also thought that love was someone feeling and doing the same to me. With that love comes affection and comfort from life's harsh realities.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Dreaming About the Affair
Lately, I have been having some really crazy and upsetting dreams. Some don't make any sense at all because they are just me doing things I usually do such as going to McDonald's for an ice coffee with caramel. Actually, many of them are about food, which is weird. While that isn't the disturbing part (it's actually the nicer part of the dreams since it's like eating all night without the calories), it is followed by some sort of affair related material.
Last night, someone came into my bedroom (which didn't look like my bedroom in the dream) and found a large stack of photos of my husband and his mistress. As the person went through each photo, it was like a slideshow of the photos I saw in my husband's secret email account and then some ones that my mind made up. It was killing me to look at them but I could not look at them.
See that's the difference between your daytime thoughts and night ones. You can somewhat control the ones you have during the day but you can't really at night. Your mind is free to think about whatever it desires and you can't tell it to shut up.
Since I have been having them for a while now, I have calmed down my reaction to them. At first, I would be disgruntle all day dealing with the emotional aftermath. Now, I tell myself it was a dream and try my hardest to push the images out of my head. Thankfully, if I don't dwell on it too long, I sometimes forget what they are about.
I did wake up my husband to tell him that I had a bad dream. I wasn't interested in talking about it but I needed to release some of the tension and of course, make him feel bad that I was having yet, another nightmare about his stupidity. It's just another stab...I know. However, if it makes me feel better, and he is committed to our marriage, he will be able to deal with it.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Picking the Right Counselor for Infidelity Help
Not all therapists are created equal. I am myself a counselor and can tell whether or not a therapist is truly being genuine in efforts as an effective counselor.
It's important to understand that not everyone benefits from the same "good" counselor. Therefore, seeking help from someone only because someone recommended the person may not be your best choice. You have to mesh with your therapist. Your personalities must work well together and rapport building should be easy and comfortable with him or her.
It's also important that the counselor is working on issues with you to get you from A to B. The therapist I have right now is not doing this. She is more like a sound board rather than a partner in my process of recovering from infidelity.
Together with your therapist, you should establish goals and discuss steps to reach those goals. Each session should address at least one of them and there should be activities or something to work on outside of the session so that work done in therapy can crossover into your life, giving you the ability to apply coping skills.
That's it for now but there are some other factors you should consider when choosing a counselor for surviving infidelity, so check back.
The Death of a Marriage After an Affair
I once heard someone say that you never really accept that someone you love has died. Instead, you learn to live without the person. I think that a marriage after an affair is very similar to this...again, because the marriage was killed by the infidelity.
I really don't think I'll ever be able to accept that my husband cheated on me. I don't even know if I can go there in my mind. It's just so painful and I'm already in so much pain. However, as time goes on, I see myself learning to live with this history. I'll most likely carry it around with me like a battle wound of some sort.
Extreme trauma can change you forever and influence choices you make in the future. I may never be able to see my husband as the man I married. However, I may see him as my husband, the father of my children and someone who has hurt me so incredibly bad. It may be a defense mechanism in that as long as I keep him as "the cheater" in my mind, I will always be careful not to get too sure of him. I guess that's the same as not truly ever being able to trust him again....
Monday, November 22, 2010
Dealing with 'What Could Have Been'
I talked about this a little in my last post about how my husband doesn't deserve being with me and the kids but I guess I just have to write about it again because I am really not doing well right now.
As I sit here and think about Thanksgiving, I can't get the visions of that night in the hotel after I discovered the truth of my husband's infidelity. My kids in the king size bed as I paced thinking about how we would have to share the kids on holidays and weekends etc. etc. How Thanksgiving would come too quick and wondered if it would be my first one alone without the kids or if it would Christmas.
Now I sit here with my family, who used to be picture perfect and I feel like it's all fake. We're going to have the traditional Thanksgiving dinner and the kids are all excited. However, it's like a black cloud is sitting over us that won't leave me alone. I can't shake the feeling that maybe this shouldn't be this way. Maybe I was weak and should have gone through with the separation...after all, he cheated on me for EIGHT months.
I picture myself in an apartment with the kids like I did a lot after I found out. I don't see it as so bad but I don't see it better than where I am now. I'm so conflicted. I know this is better in the end if we can repair the damage in our marriage but really...this is all so hard. I feel trapped...dealing with infidelity sucks and divorce sucks too. I'm so... sad...mad...confused.
Post Infidelity Stress Disorder
My therapist often tells me that I exhibit the signs of someone who has post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Someone with this disorder experiences a heightened state of anxiety and anguish over a traumatic event and will envinsion themselves going through the experience over and over again. In essence, people who suffer from PTSD not only experiences the horrible event once but relives it many times. This can be in thoughts, dreams, and in some extreme cases visions.
To describe a stress response to infidelity much like PTSD, Dr. Dennis Ortman came up with a term called Post Infidelity Stress Disorder or PISD. The symptoms are very much like what I am experiencing:
Certainly, discovering a partner's adultery causes enormous stress for any individual. However, some are traumatized, feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope, often for years. Their reaction is similar to those who have had life-threatening experiences, such as war, natural disasters, violent crimes, physical and sexual abuse, and automobile accidents. These individuals manifest a predictable pattern of symptoms marked by alternating periods of emotional numbing and reliving the horror of the trauma (van der Kolk, McFarlane, & Weisaeth, 1996). Many victims of infidelity experience their psychic life threatened, and become preoccupied with the betrayal and filled with rage. I call their reaction "post-infidelity stress disorder," with the acronym PISD, which expresses the rage that is a primary symptom of the disorder. Exerpt from: Journal of Psychosocial Nursing and Mental Health Services abstract.
There's always something comforting about finding out what is really going on inside of you. It helps you feel less crazy and know that many other people must be feeling the same way if they have a name for what you are experiencing. Is there anyone else out there that fit this description?
By the way, there's a book by Dr. Ortman that further explains his theory for PISD. It's called Transcending Post Infidelity Stress Disorder.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
He Doesn't Deserve This LIfe
As Thanksgiving draws near, I am struggling with some thoughts that have really made me depressed. I remember after finding out that my husband cheated and I was getting ready to hand over the check to the lawyer for the separation how soon I would be dealing with either Thanksgiving or Christmas without my kids. This devastated me...more than finding out my husband was with some other girl.
Now, I sit and think about my decision not to divorce him and making this marriage work. I am conflicted with sadness and rage. A part of me is sad that this almost didn't happen, while the other side of me is angry because after what he did, he just doesn't deserve to be with a loving family during the holiday. He not only betrayed me but he betrayed our children, so why is he so lucky to have us around now?
I feel like he should have been punished more for his infidelity. He should have experienced what his consequences could have been because unlike me, I don't think he fully understands what could have been. He wasn't the one looking for a divorce...it was me. I was the one who had the ball and decided what to do with it. That scares me, because I could have made a different choice, which would have changed the course of our life forever.
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Three Types of Cheaters
|Photographer: graur codrin
From my readings on cheaters, here are some of the themes I have found:
Distorted Reality Cheater
This type of cheater wants to run away from something in his/her life that is unpleasant and run to someone who doesn't have anything to do with the unpleasantries he/she has to face in reality. So the cheater creates this fantasy world with this person that is completely separate from the truth. When the distorted reality cheater is away with his/her fantasy person, life left behind stops and vanishes for the time being. There is no thought to what is going on in the "other world".
Excitement Addict Cheater
This person is addicted to excitement. Cheating is forbidden and that is what makes it exciting. If it weren't for the spouse, being with the person he/she is cheating on wouldn't be half as wonderful as it seems it is. It's the getting away with cheating and not being caught that is addictive. It's a rush when you go off to meet someone new knowing that you are so sly in being able to pull it off.
Revenge Cheater
This isn't only for the people who have been cheated on themselves, but also for people who are just resentful to their spouse. People who continue to live in unhappy marriages will overtime begin to resent their spouse for anything he/she does...no matter if it's fair or not. This type of cheater will cheat because it's a secret way to get back at the spouse even though he/she may not find out for a long time.
Knowing these types of cheaters will not only help you if you've been betrayed but it can help you even if you haven't been. Knowing the signs of cheating by looking out for your spouse distancing him/herself, looking for drama or excitment and acting resentful can really help you work on your relationship before it's gone the route of infidelity.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Song About Cheating: Cheater Cheater by Joey and Rory
It's good to sometimes change your focus and channel your rage towards the homewrecker that sunk her teeth into your husband. Cheater Cheater by Joey and Rory is my new favorite song about cheating. I think you'll enjoy it too and won't be able to resist the urge to replay it repeatedly. Before you play this video, scroll down to the bottom of the page so you can pause the cheating songs player or you'll be hearing two songs at once. Crank it up!
Self-Esteem Boost: Eva Longoria Divorces Cheating Husband
As a follow up to my self-esteem post from a few weeks ago, I must say that I am feeling a bit better about myself after hearing about how Eva Longoria was cheated on. I mean of course, I am not happy to hear that she has been attacked like I have been but it says a lot about not mattering what you look like or who you are.
Look at Eva...Most men would just love to be with her. Many of them probably thought how lucky Tony Parker was to have her as his wife. Beauty is of course only skin deep and it does count how you are inside, but I'm going with my gut and the incredible urge to stand up for her that she isn't a bad person or a bad wife. Even if she is, there is never any acceptable reason for cheating. If you don't like her, divorce her first, then have sex with as many women as you would like. What's so hard to understand about that?
I guess for today, I will calm down on my self-bashing and realize that even ridiculously gorgeous woman get cheated on. It's not about the looks...it's about the man, who has no control over resisting the excitment of doing something forbidden.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Story of Cheating Husband Who Married His Mistress
|Photographer: graur codrin
When my husband started his new job in our new town, he met this guy who he mentioned to that we were currently living in a hotel awaiting closing on a house. The guy immediately offered his house to us so we wouldn't have to pay to live in a hotel anymore. We accepted the offer and it soon became known the reason why these people entered our lives....it was a window into my husband's "what could have been".
Bryan is ten years older than Cara. He has been married before and has two teenage daughters from his previous marriage. Cara told me the story of how they met and married. Bryan cheated on his wife with Cara. Cara, who was told by her doctor that she couldn't get pregnant and has been having unprotected sex for years, all of sudden became pregnant. Since she was into the wild lifestyle of drugging, drinking and partying she wasn't quite sure who the baby belonged to, however she told Bryan it was his.
Bryan left his wife and married Cara. When the baby was born, it was a good thing she looked like Bryan or Cara would have been in trouble. A year later, Cara became pregnant again. Since Bryan is in the military, he is gone a lot. Bryan's two teenage daughters live with Bryan and Cara instead of their mother so Cara immediately because a mother to four children.
Things are not good between Bryan and Cara. Cara admitted that she is very scared that Bryan will cheat on her just because he cheated on his wife with her. She also mentioned that he acts like an old man because he doesn't want to go out to the bars and party with her (he's 10 years old..been there...done that). The older teenager is out of control, into drugs, dating men much older than her and acting out at school.
It's no wonder why Cara is unhappy. She went from care-free lifestyle to a demanding tied down one. She is on antidepressants, talks about going to live somewhere else with the kids, and they are in the process of seeking marriage counseling.
My husband's mistress was about just as much younger. If he had chosen her, would she had been ready to take on what Cara has? I assure you not. She doesn't even want kids...and scary enough, assured my husband she also couldn't get pregnant. Stupid husband.
The story of Cara and Bryan was like a window into a world that my husband came very close to crashing into. I am glad that he didn't make the same choice as Bryan, because now we see the other side isn't always greener...
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Emotional Pain Vs. Physical Pain
|Photographer: luigi diamanti
When my husband was in the midst of his affair, he was emotional abusive to me. He would criticize me and yell at me at the drop of a hat. He would push me away as much as he could and even though he was going through the worst emotional pain of his life, he would not let me in to help him at all, which was just another emotional slap in the face. I love my husband and all I ever wanted to do was help him and he would not let me. Instead he would tell me he was fine and didn't need help. Whenever we did have any sort of real conversation, I was attacked with accusations that I didn't understand and couldn't help him.
Not only that, after I found out about the alleged emotional affair he had with his girlfriend, he would tell me that she understood him and they related with each other. He also said that she was going through the same thing he was (even though he later found out that she lied about that...among other things...). Every time I heard how much they were connected, it was like being beat down with a stick. I couldn't deal with the news that he had found someone that he would rather talk to and care about.
Emotional pain lasts so much longer than physical pain. Although, anyone who has experienced domestic violence knows that with physical pain comes emotional pain as well. I guess the only way I can say that emotional pain is worse than physical pain is if he had killed me...because he definitely killed me emotionally and that involves more suffering than if I just been shot.
Monday, November 15, 2010
Infidelity's Impact On Children
The night my daughter was born, I held her close and told her that I would protect her. I just didn't fulfill that promise that night. Before you think I am a horrible mother putting my kids in the middle of this, know that I didn't really know what I was walking into that night (I had suspicion that I was trying to prove wrong to myself) and we were in the process of moving to a faraway town away from friends and family, which is where I went to "surprise" him. Instead of finding an empty room with only his stuff (he was out watching the UFC fight) I found her stuff there as well.
After finding out about the affair, my husband did not handle it well, especially in front of the kids. He would throw himself on the floor, wail, and throw up. He was a mess and it happened on more then a half a dozen times.
My daughter who is 4 experienced this drama. Last night, she revealed some disturbing thoughts about my husband's throwing up and how he was going to jail. She had tears in her eyes...she also thought my son and I were going to leave too. This broke my heart... She is in so much pain and I didn't protect her from it.
After talking things out with her and reassuring her, I brought this up to my husband. He was concerned but for some reason (probably because I did have those pent up emotions from the night before) I could not hold my anger towards him inside. Not only has he scorned me, he also scorned our children. Scared them and threatened the security they once felt so strongly. Motherly instinct is one of most powerful motivaters when it comes to protecting the well being of your children.
I suppose my rage mostly comes from wanting him to know the depths of how horrible he has treated us. The next time he even looks at another woman, I want him to remember how bad this was and how he never wants to ever live through it or something worse again. I hope my rage will be enough to scare him straight.....
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Forgiveness for Cheating Husband's Girlfriend
In a recent post over at the blog, Emotional Affair Journey, Linda discusses whether or not she forgives her husband's mistress. This got me thinking about my own ability to forgive.
I don't really think about forgiving her because I really have nothing to do with her. If she were a friend or someone I saw on a daily basis (OH THANK GOD I DON'T), I guess there would be a time when I would have to decide if I could forgive her. However, since I am blessed not to have to deal with that over everything else, I don't spend any brain power thinking about forgiving her.
What does it really matter anyway? And honestly, I blame my cheating husband more than I blame her. Of course, she sought out my husband so she does have a major role in the infidelity, but really, my husband should have resisted her advances.
Not to say that I don't have rage for her, because believe me, I hate her. She knew he was married and had two kids. What kind of person tries to break a marriage and take a father from his children? That's a pretty self absorbed person...
All I have to say is...Karma is a bitch.
Swallowing Rage
|Photographer: Darren Robertson
When my husband came home early from his deployment to see his dying father back in April, he hardly looked at me and wasn't interested in me at all. He was so different. I chocked it up to grief and just tried to be supportive. Well, in hindsight, he was stricken with guilt because he had just committed infidelity.
So now, whenever he comes home from being away, it's like I return to that time and it enrages me. The last time he came home about a month ago, I couldn't control it and we ended up having a heated discussion about the affair for better part of the night. Not exactly what he had in mind when he came home, if you know what I mean.
As I go through the process of surviving infidelity, I feel myself progressing. Last night, I again had those same feelings but I was able to swallow them. They were there...I just chose not to fulfill the urge to fuel it. It was hard but in the end, the night was much more romantic and peaceful.
I would not recommend that anyone swallow their rage until they are ready to. It's taken a lot of yelling at him and processing of the affair to get to this point. I am also not saying that I have swallowed the rage forever. I will have my time again...it just shows some progress that I was actually able to control it this time.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Cheating Husband's Song for Me
I am not always full of rage, sometimes I feel hopeful. So for the sake of not sounding like I am always a bitch, I would like to share something sweet my husband has dedicated to me. I won't even point out that his girlfriend used to find songs for him all the time and now he's all about finding meaningful songs for me (eeerrr). ;-)
So yes, he has dedicated the song Just the Way You Are by Bruno Mars to me. Listen to it:
Cheating Husband: Forgiveness
Our marriage counselor explained forgiveness in a completely different way. She said that it's accepting what happened, not condoning it at all, but able to move past it.
I'm not sure if I agree with that and because of that, I don't think I will ever be able to say that I forgive my husband. In some people's definition (like the therapist's definition) I have forgiven my cheating husband, but according to mine, I cannot.
Forgiveness is just a word. The feelings you have are much more valuable than the power of a word. I'm sure my cheating husband would love to hear my say that I forgive him. I can't give him that power though...not when he took all my power away from me.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Cheating Revenge Bulletin Board
|From Chromoz
Running over Cheating Husband as Revenge
New Cheating Songs Added to Playlist
Cheating songs are the greatest! Even if you have never been cheated on, you can still feel so empowered by knowing that someone is taking action against someone who has done wrong.
I'm adding cheating songs to my playlist as I hear them. Thanks to Birdie (again), I have added another Carrie Underwood song, Songs Like This. I like it so much that I would like to post the lyrics to it:
Recovering from Infidelity: The Emotional Roller Coaster Is Going Down
|Photographer: Francesco Marino
I wasn't able to sleep last night again (second night in a row). All I do when I am asleep is dream about them together and when I wake up, I am stricken with grief. I understand that whole perception that if he's with me, he really wants to be with me, but I can't let go of the fact that he did choose her over me at one time. At a time, when I really should have been the one he turned to when he was so low. I feel like I failed and I couldn't be what he needed me to be...
He says that there was nothing I could do. He had to be gone from me and the kids during the worst time in his life and nothing I could have done would have made it better. He says that he should have listened to me when I pleaded that he make a plea to stay behind when that ship took off for those three months...should of, would of, could of....what happened, happened and now we are stuck in the aftermath of it all.
I also know I shouldn't let myself feel like a victim, but I can't help it when all I can think about is how my marriage wasn't supposed to be this way. It wasn't supposed to take this hard of hit. Of course marriages go through bad times, I just didn't think I would have been fine one minute and at the door of divorce the next. It scares me... my life could be completely different right now, if I hadn't come back to him.
Another thought goes through my mind...what if he cheats on me again? What if he really isn't done with her? What if he's just gotten smarter? I know...don't "what if". I am so scared though...I'm scared that tomorrow may be the end of my marriage.
Dear Annie: Cheating Wife Won't Stop
|Photographer: Simon Howden
Ummm....I just have to say, WTF!? End it already! You either want your husband or you want your boy toy. You can't have both lady. I know so many people think they can but really, stop being stupid and selfish. Your lover won't commit suicide...he'll move on to some other slut who's stupid enough to fall for his "charm". You think you are special? If you were that special, you would have left your husband so you could have your side dish all the time. This whole game is ridiculous. Make your mind up sweetie...it's not that difficult.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Why Men Cheat: Selfishness
|Photographer: Darren Robertson
He says that the affair had nothing to do with me (which I don't entirely believe). He says that he wasn't thinking about hurting me, he was just doing what felt good. Oh so when you decided to text, email, call and meet her, you didn't think about me and how I would feel if I found out? What an ass.
All he did was think about how he felt and what he wanted. He wanted to escape from the reality of life and death. He wanted to be in never never land with someone who didn't truly care about him nor the life he created with other people (his wife and kids). All he wanted to do was sit by the pool, drink with someone, not have to deal with the responsibilities of parenthood and then have sex and nap whenever he wanted to because he didn't have to wait for the kids to go to sleep.
Life is hard and we all wish we could escape it once and a while. However, we can't. We have to learn to deal with the crap that enters our lives, not run away from it. My husband has run away from everything that has been painful in his life, the problem in this situation is that him running away didn't only affect him, it affected all of us.
True or False: Cheating Husband's Words
|Photographer: jscreationzs
Update: My husband is two for two this morning. I chose to be the better person and ignore the comment. I am having a good hair day so I snapped a picture and sent it to him. Dont worry, total innocent picture of my face. Well, he responds nicely with that I am gorgeous etc. Then he took it one step too far...he texted, "Yummy!" Yeah, exactly the same thing he said to HER of a picture she sent of her all dolled up to go to the bar.
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Trusting Your Cheating Husband
|Photographer: jscreationzs
I've been thinking a lot about trust lately and came to the conclusion that I don't trust my cheating husband. Of course, how could I? He cheated on me. However, my level of mistrust is so low that I don't believe that I will be able to rebuild it. That doesn't mean I am ready to pack up and walk out the door. It means that I am starting to look at things differently.
I had a discussion with cheater that didn't make him very happy. Basically, I said that if he wants to really be with me, he will be with me. If he wants to be with someone else, he can go off and be with someone else. I can't live life in the constant fear that I will be cheated on again. I won't allow myself to trust him again, because that is when feelings get wrapped up in it and you start to feel as though you have to tie him down so he won't run away.
The truth is that no matter what you do, if a husband or boyfriend wants to cheat, he will. These are choices he makes and the repercussions are whatever you make them. You can either stay with him or leave him ... THAT choice is yours and only yours.
Cheating Revenge Video: Throwing Your Husband's Stuff All Over the Road
I had to laugh at this because you can feel the fury going on inside of her. If you've ever been cheated on, then you know what she is feeling and why she appears to be insane. This is exactly what I felt like when I found out but I didn't actually do it.
Oh and in case you are wondering, that guy in the suit isn't her husband, it's some random guy who is looking for free stuff. You gotta love it!
Cheating Revenge: Post a Cheating Husband Sign
If you're looking for a way to ruin your cheating husband's reputation, putting up a huge sign in your yard may do the trick.
|From Hilarious Pictures
Just remember, if you do this, you are also telling all your neighbors and passer byers that you've been cheated on and you may not want that much exposure for yourself. Just a thought.
I Didn't Cheat On My Wife
My good friend got married this weekend. I was a bridesmaid and my daughter was the flower girl. It wasn't something that I could simply say, "I can't make it." It was a hard weekend facing everyone who knows what my cheating husband did to me. Not only that, I was surrounded by the promises of fidelity, faithfulness and through sickness and health, for richer or poorer, through good times and bad.
At the rehearsal dinner, the priest stood up front to bless the meal. He told a story that sent me raging. Here is the story:
|Photographer: Francesco Marino
My cheating husband will never be able to say that he never cheated on his wife. How ridiculous is that? The one thing you should never do in marriage, and he does it. What a fool. While he is repenting and trying to make up for his "mistakes", the fact is that he did it. You can't go back and undo what has been done. Sure, you can live life as a better person, but in my eyes, you will always have that sin as part of you.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
The Universe Won't Give Me an Infidelity Break
|Photo: rockinfree
You would of thought that after seeing that it would have been enough of a trigger to send me flying off the elliptical into a raging phone call to the stupid husband figure. But no, I stood strong. Then, all of a sudden, the commercial played again on the other TV. All I could think was, "Are you kidding me?". This time I saw the pool that he dropped his phone into because he was drinking by it...with or without her. He says he was alone, I beg to differ. In any case, I saw the commercial one more time after that one and thankfully it wasn't long after that I was done with my workout.
Honestly, I think I took out my rage on the elliptical, all of a sudden I was going faster and today, I am sore. Rage needs to be released and I found the way that was most available at the time...
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Blind Gossip About Cheating Husband
|Photographer: Filomena Scalise
It's interesting how months after this came out people are still wondering what is going on with us. We live thousands of miles away and we still send out a vibe of, "Oh no, something REALLY horrible has happened."
People will always gossip. In this case, it's blind gossip. They haven't seen anything or even heard the whole story but they still talk. I guess it's hoping that someone will crack, and knowing my husband's family, someone will.
I could tell that this bothered my unfaithful husband quite a bit. That is fine with me. Whatever backlash and shame he gets out of this mess HE put us all in is well deserved. He really should have thought about how many people would find out and what they would think of him way before he decided to have slut sex. What an idiot...
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Societal Scrutiny Over Demi and Ashton Bumping Up Affection After Affair Allegations
|Photographer: Francesco Marino
Okay, so we don't know for sure whether Ashton is Demi's cheating husband but most rumors result from the truth. So let's just assume that Ashton is definitely a cheating husband. Recently, they have been spotted being very affection in the media spotlight. This is apparently a big deal because the media is covering it, such as in this article, Demi and Ashton: Still in love and stronger than ever in wake of cheating allegations.
I say, who cares! No one knows for sure what is really going on with them behind closed doors. This may be a whole big ploy and they may be planning a divorce any day now, OR they could really be recovering from infidelity and are trying to appreciate each other like maybe they have failed to do for the last few months or more.
Society always has to point fingers and make judgments about other people's lives. So Ashton had an affair and now they are trying to make it work or appear to be trying. If no one paid attention, no one would write about it. They would just say, "That's nice." and keep on moving. Since most of society is shaking their head, calling Ashton a scumbag and wondering what Demi is thinking, the media is all over it. Let's all focus on our own lives and the shame we all have somewhere in it.
Check out my other post about Hiding from Criticizers After an Affair.
Wearing Wedding Rings After an Affair
|Photographer: Salvatore Vuono
At that time, I was convinced that I was getting a divorce. There was no way I would stay with someone who would do something so horrible to me and our kids. Who does that? How disrespectful. He had no problem taking his wedding ring off to be with her...and to me, by taking his wedding ring off he was breaking his commitment to me and our marriage to each other.
Not having my wedding rings on really hurt him and he realized the real damage that he has done to us. How he didn't see that while he was with her is beyond my comprehension...selfishness along with mental illness I suppose (but that's for another post).
I won't put those rings on again. As we work to repair our marriage, I feel as though we are creating a new relationship and in time, a new marriage. The one we had before is dead. It's gone. Our wedding rings, which used to be a symbol of our love and commitment to each other, is now just a symbol of loss and betrayal...
Did you take or would you take your wedding rings off?
Monday, November 1, 2010
Cheating Revenge: Woman Drives Car Into Boyfriend's Apartment
Gotta love the rage though...and she only suspected he was cheating. So her cheating revenge may not have even been justified...can't imagine what she would have done if she actually saw him in the act of cheating!
Cheating Revenge: Hope She Was Worth It
Photo courtesy of: www.chromoz.com
Why Men Cheat
|Photo: Now and Zen Photography
It's such a shame to read things like this because even though most of these types of articles say that it's not the wife's fault, it always makes me feel like I have done something wrong. My husband says that it wasn't me...and that it doesn't have to do with me. However, I can't believe that. I understand our situation is different from someone else's but at the same time, I am not going to deny that our marriage was perfect. We fell into the common trap of taking care of the kids before taking care of each other. We grew distant...and the distance between us (due to military deployments) didn't help that along with one of the most devastating moments in my husband's life while he had to be away.
I did like the part where he says, "And here's the bottom line that a woman has to understand if you're going forward in this relationship and he's confessing and he's remorseful, and that is he was screwed up before. He made a mistake. He knows that. ... But right now he's saying, 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I really messed up." ...That is very comforting.


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A Little Corner of Evergreen Cemetery
I just love Evergreen Cemetery in Bloomington. It's an older cemetery, with many trees, and is very peaceful. Back in the far northeast corner, in the Old City Section, is a small lot where approximately 70 U.S. military veterans are buried. Many of these veterans served prior to the Civil War; a handful served after. It's hard to say if these folks died while serving our country. Regardless, they did serve in one way or another and deserve to be recognized, honored, and remembered.
In memory of the
This article was written for the June 2009 edition of the GYR Carnival. This edition's theme is: Veterans' Memorials.


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Choose your room
Charming design hotel with spa in Solsona (Lleida). Sant Roc Hotel is located at few metres distance from the centre of Solsona, entering gate of the Catalonian Pyrenees. It is an emblematic modernist building from the beginning of the 20th century, designed by the prestigious architects Ignasi Oms and Bernardí Martorell, and inaugurated in 1929. Fully refurbished in 2004, it preserves the nature of the original structure. Placed in a quiet environment fully in the nature, Sant Roc Hotel offers 25 personalised rooms of a contemporary style based on the combination of the natural elements with bold colours and in harmony. The Restaurant Buffi proposes a qualitative and avant-garde signature cuisine, keeping the traditional roots, but with a touch of modernity. The HYDRA Qi area is a space of harmony and contentment where the advances of Spa meet the oriental techniques of relaxation. For the business travellers, the hotel puts at their disposal 4 versatile convention halls, allowing the adaptation of the spaces as it requires.
Useful information:Tourism Registration Number: HCC000037
Other names for Hotel Sant Roc:
Domus Selecta Sant Roc
Rusticae Sant Roc


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EDMOND, Okla. -- Colin Montgomerie declared Bernhard Langer the favorite heading into the U.S. Senior Open.
After 18 holes, Montgomerie might well have seized that position himself with a 6-under 65 to lead at the end of Thursday at Oak Tree National.
The Scotsman started on No. 10, and birdied Nos. 14, 15 and 16 on the way to a 33 on the back nine. He also birdied Nos. 6, 7 and 8 to finish strong in oppressive heat and humidity.
"That was the key to the round, the three birdies in a row on the front nine, my back nine," Montgomerie said. "To birdie 6, 7, 8 was good. That got me to the position I am now."
Marco Dawson was second after a 66, and Mark Brooks was third after shooting 68. Langer was one of five golfers tied for fourth with a 69.
Dawson, in his first Senior Open, started on the back nine and shot 2 under, then was steady on the front nine before scoring birdies on Nos. 7, 8 and 9. The 50-year-old said it was one of the two best rounds he's played in his six Champions Tour events. He was pleased with the performance, especially considering the course's challenging reputation.
"It just seemed to happen, you know, birdie, birdie, birdie the last three holes, so I ended up 5 under," he said. "I could have shot 2 under and still would have been a good round."
Brooks birdied the 11th, 12th, 13th and 14th holes to go 4 under on his first five holes. He shot 3 under on the back nine and even on the front nine.
"I've been playing here since high school," he said. "I'm comfortable here. My mother and father both are Oklahomans, so I got a lot of Oklahoma blood in me."
Langer, who entered the Senior Open having already won three events this year, was in a five-way tie for fourth along with Vijay Singh, Kirk Triplett, Scott Dunlap and Gene Sauers.
"They say you don't win a tournament on the first day," Langer said. "You can certainly lose it with a bad round, so, you know, I'm somewhere in the top 10 or top 20 after today, which is a good spot to be. Still have three rounds to go."
Kenny Perry, last year's Senior Open winner, shot a 75.
Mother Nature was a factor for various reasons.
Play was delayed for 77 minutes at the start due to the threat of lightning, and play was suspended because of darkness at 8:54 p.m. local time, with three players still on the course.
Wilting 90-plus degree heat with humidity hit in the afternoon. Darrell Kestner completed 14 holes Thursday before withdrawing and being treated for a heat-related issue.
Peter Jacobsen, who withdrew from last year's Senior Open in Omaha after nine holes because of dehydration, made it through the opening day in Edmond. He shot a 1-under 70, then held a sports drink as he answered questions.
"I learned a really good lesson," he said. "My doctor told me, 'Don't ever get dehydrated because it's very debilitating on your body.' I walk around with water and Gatorade and lot of liquid, especially here when we know it's going to be humid and hot."
Heavy rains Wednesday softened the course, but the heat Thursday made it hard later in the day. Changing winds added another degree of difficulty to an already long, tough course.
"It is kind of difficult to judge the wind out here," Montgomerie said. "You're always going to get breeze out here in Oklahoma. That's part of the test out here."
Weather is expected to remain a factor through the rest of the tournament, with temperatures expected to soar. Montgomerie said it will amount to a physical examination.
"It's going to be grueling over the next three days," he said. "Concentration levels will be difficult to maintain for everybody out there, not just myself. I look forward to the challenge of trying to compete against the rest of the field, the golf course, which is superb, and also the weather conditions, which are very foreign to myself and most competitors, to be honest. We don't usually play in 100 degrees. It's going to be interesting over the next three days."


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County represented at Kansas Sampler Festival
Despite snow and cold, windy conditions during the setup week, the Kansas Sampler Festival weekend brought sunshine and 4,500 people to Liberal's Light Park.
More than 100 Kansas communities were represented through tourism booths, Kansas products, historic performers, musicians, and food vendors.
Marion County Economic Development Director Teresa Huffman represented Marion County in the Flint Hills tent.
Huffman said she is always surprised at the many connections between festival attendees and Marion County no matter how far away it is.
"It's always enjoyable to speak to people that are from Marion County or have family here in the county," Huffman said.
The festival will be in Wamego in 2014 and 2015.