text:
Rating: R
Pairing: Jayne/River; Mal/Inara; Simon/Kaylee; Zoë/Wash's memories
Beta: My magic beta lady – ceslas
Notes: Final chapter – The plan is for the Mal/Inara storyline to be completed in their own story
Previous chapters: Ch. 1 - Through The Keyhole Of Time; Ch. 2 - Tentative Beginnings; Ch. 3 - Ghosts; Ch. 4 - Voices Of The Living; Ch. 5 - Battles Won Battles Lost; Ch. 6 - Caught In The Moment; Ch. 7 - Like Puzzle Pieces; Ch. 8 - In Dreams; Ch. 9 - Bridges And Storms
Ch. 10 - Night Vigils; Ch. 11 - Dark And Fearsome Places
Voices And Visions
Ch 12 - Where Strength And Courage Are Found
Inara was almost to the stairs by the engine room when she heard Simon close the hatch to Kaylee's bunk. She froze with one hand gripping her flashlight and the other flat against the bulkhead. She knew that if she were smart she'd keep right on going, but she also knew that there was one thing that needed to be done before she crawled into her solitary bed. In the past she wouldn't have questioned herself, but lately she was doing things that defied explanation. A quick internal check didn't give her any answers.
Turning on her heel she headed back the way she'd come. Back, three-quarters of the length of the ship until she was at the hatch of the first bunk on the starboard side. Kneeling she knocked quietly and snapped off her light. Moments later Malcolm Reynolds's head and shoulders popped up. He was blinking sleep out of his eyes, his hair was mussed and Inara was caught completely by surprise at the sight of him half-dressed; at least she hoped he was dressed on his bottom half.
"'Nara?" he whispered and wondered if he was still dreaming.
"I need to talk to you for a minute." She shivered at the sight of him.
"Com'on." He gestured for her to follow him down the ladder then stopped. "Did the Doc say it was okay you for ta be climbin' 'round like this?"
"Wo hao," she rolled her eyes. "It's been two and a-half weeks since he did the repair. I'm fine." In all her time on Serenity, she could count on one hand how often she'd been in Mal's bunk. That included three of the nights she'd spent sitting at his side when he'd been too ill to be left alone, but too stubborn to stay in the infirmary after being released from the hospital. Those three nights wouldn't have been possible if River hadn't assisted her down the ladder.
"What can I do for ya?" He pointed toward the chair at his desk, but she ignored it, even when he plopped onto his bed. "It's a mite late for a social call."
"Yes…I…ah." One look at her surroundings and she knew this wasn't wise. She shivered and paced. If she took him up on his offer of a place to sit, she was afraid she'd never leave. "It's about River."
"Was she doin' that dancin' thing ya told me 'bout?" He leaned his elbows in his knees and watched the normally unshakable Companion fidget. "She gonna be all right?"
"For tonight," Inara laughed quietly and turned away from the sight of him sitting on an open bed. "Jayne threw her over his shoulder and carried her off to the shuttle. He wasn't about to let her argue with him. He'll see that she gets some sleep."
"Times that man shows a heap 'a intelligence." Mal moved so quietly 'Nara hadn't realized he was inches away, until she was trapped between his body and desk. "I conjure that's somethin' I should 'a done a long time ago. Though not sure how much sleepin' we'd 'a gotten," his whisper caused her to jump. She felt his hands hovering just above her shoulders and his breath warm against her neck. It made her tingle and her skin catch fire. He was so close that when she turned her arm grazed his chest.
"That's not what I came here for." Her eyes were wide and she searched her soul to be sure of her reasons.
"Ain't it?" He felt heat radiating off her body. It took all his strength to keep from pulling her to his bed.
"No," she shook her head and gasped when he slowly slipped his hand along her jaw until he was cupping her cheek with his fingers buried in her hair. "Mal, we've already made more than our share of foolish mistakes. I won't survive many more."
He watched her careful, unsure what was goin' on in her head. There was just enough light in his bunk to see pain and fear in her eyes, two emotions he would have bet his life she didn't know the meanin' of, but since Miranda, they had been her constant companions. "Just tell me what ya need, darlin'. I'll do what I can for ya."
"River is exhausted…"
"I'll take the early bridge watch."
"Thank you." She couldn't pull her eyes away from his. The only sound she heard was the quiet hum of Serenity's engine powered down for the night.
"'Nara." He slipped his arms around her and pulled her close.
"This isn't….I can't…" Air sighed out of her lungs as she settled against him. She gave into the luxury of letting someone support her mentally and physically for the first time since she was a very young girl.
"Hush," he muttered in her ear. "You don't need ta worry. I just want ta hold ya for a bit. I ain't gonna push ya."
"I know. I understand." She enjoyed his skin against her cheek, neck and warm under her arms. "I need to figure some things out." She knew he didn't want the woman she'd been, but he deserved better than the half-person she'd become since her discovery of the atrocities on Miranda.
"Ya better go then." He pulled free of her and gently pushed her shoulders toward the ladder. "I'd rather hate myself right now, than have you hate me in the mornin'."
For a second that seemed to last a lifetime, she stood motionless, indecision written clearly on her face, and then she turned and fled. If she'd ever had any doubts that she loved him, they had just been washed away. She had never had anything but professional casual sex, and Malcolm Reynolds didn't have a casual bone in his body. When they came together they both needed to be as whole and complete as they could be and sure of what they were doing.
River heard the bass rumble of Jayne's voice echoing from deep below her ear. It sounded like he was talking to Inara, not her, so she snuggled closer and ignored it. For the first time in weeks she was surrounded by peace and quiet. The man who was holding her had the power to keep everyone else's thoughts out.
Later her eyes opened. Her face was pressed against Jayne's neck. One of his hands was buried in her hair and the other rested against her back, under her top. She floated in his presence, enjoying the quiet his closeness provided. Carefully, a millimeter at a time, she moved one small hand up his chest until it was resting on the spot where only his thin t-shirt material separated her touch from his scars. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the ridged pale lines that were all that was left of where she'd slashed him with a butcher knife.
Nothing happened. She hung suspended in the present as she tried to force her thoughts into the future. Biting her lip to keep from moaning in disappointment she reached under his shirt.
"Oh no, you don't, Babe," his sleepy voice startled her as he took hold of her wrist and brought her hand to his mouth to kiss it. "You're just gonna drive yourself crazy doin' that. Nothing's changed in the past three weeks."
"How do you know?" She tried to keep the desperation out of her voice, but could tell by his expression she hadn't fooled him.
"'Cause we ain't said more 'an ten words to each other that weren't 'bout business and it ain't business that's got you so twisted 'round." With a deft movement he turned her until she was on her back with his body pressed against her side. He quickly slid his hand under her top and pushed it up. "I think ya need something to keep your mind off your troubles. This worked once. I'm just gonna give ya a bit more ta concentrate on this time."
"We can't!" Her back arched and she felt his bristly whiskers as his lips moved under her jaw while his hands skimmed over her skin.
"I know. We can't, but it's 'bout time you did." As much as he wanted to take off his shirt so he could feel his skin against hers, he didn't trust her not to try and search out her vision using his scars to find her way. 'Sides he figured this was 'bout her and not him, 'bout her feelin' somethin' she'd never felt afore. He'd take care 'a his own self later.
"Jayne," she whispered his name lost in the sensations he was creating as he ran his fingers lightly over her breasts, making her skin tingle.
She was soft and smelled so sweet it made him dizzy as he kissed his way down her throat and chest until he had one nipple firmly between his lips.
His warm mouth sucked, as his tongue flicked. The hardening spot of sensitive flesh was surrounded by the exciting scratch of his goatee. She wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly to her, arching closer, wanting more, needing more. She could feel everything he did to her separately and all at once. It made her blood sing and wiped away anything but the joy he brought her.
He could see the rapt expression on her face without moving. It made him want to hold on tighter, feel more, and explore everywhere. His right hand cupped her other breast and it made her moan, as her hips rocked needing something, anything.
"Shhhh…put your hands on my shoulders. I ain't goin' anywhere." He threw one leg over both of hers and separated them slightly but kept nibbling and playing until she was gasping for breath. "River," he murmured and slid his arm under her so he could hold her close. "Open your eyes, Babe. Look at me."
"Don't stop," she begged as she gazed into blue fire. Her hands clutched his muscular arms as if they were the only solid things in a shifting world.
"I ain't gonna, don't worry none. Just want ya lookin at me is all." His right hand slowly moved off her breast, over her stomach and beneath the waist of her sweatpants. "You still okay?" He ran his tongue around the rigid peak of her breast once more and felt her tremble, but when her eyes sagged closed he shifted until his face was inches from hers. "I want ta watch ya. Then I know I ain't hurtin' ya."
"Not hurt, you wouldn't hurt me." She opened her eyes. "I can feel your need. It is everywhere, in me and all around me."
"I ain't ever needed a woman like I need you. Ain't ever needed ta touch and feel more than be touched and felt." His hand moved down under her panties. She was wet, warm and waiting for him.
"Ohhh," she moaned and rocked against his probing fingers. There was a tightening deep in her belly and she felt as if she was wound up and about to explode. Jayne had made her ache before, but never like this. It throbbed in her ears and clawed at her like an ancient animal from Earth-That-Was. "More..."
"Oh yeah," his voice was thick with desire as he felt her stiffen beneath his hand.
"Jayne!" she gasped and her breath caught deep in her throat. His fingers kept working their magic. She felt herself begin to break apart, but all she could see was the blue of his eyes. Then she was diving into them, they were surrounding her in color, as they wrapped her in their warmth and split her apart on a subatomic level. She shook in the vastness of the hadron he'd created, sure that each quark was easily visible to the naked eye. It didn't matter if its flavor was up, down, charm, strange, top, or bottom. They were there in the light show he'd created. "Jayne," she whispered as she felt herself beginning to reassemble, something new and whole, with no broken parts. "Jayne…"
"Ren ci de Fo zu." He'd felt plenty 'a women pretend ta come, but this was the real thing. He could feel her muscles contracting against his palm as she made tiny mewing sounds of pleasure. What amazed him the most was he'd never watched it happen before. He'd never looked a woman in her eyes as they darkened, and grew large as her body shook. It was as if in that instant he'd seen River's soul and he knew for sure if he'd been inside 'a her, he would 'a touched it.
She lay unmoving, under his hands and wrapped tightly in his arms. He could see the rise and fall of her chest and the melted chocolate of her eyes. It was all that told him she was still alive. He kissed her and began to pull his hand away from her warmth.
"No!" she called out and gripped his wrist to keep it in place. Her hips rocked against his fingers. She cried out as an intense sensation shot from her over-sensitized nerve endings, almost blinding her. It was different than before, white hot and sharp, more than pleasure but less than pain.
"Easy honey, ya gotta let yourself come down a bit." He wanted to run his hand through her hair ta gentle her, but she wouldn't let go 'a his wrist so he settled for playing with the strands that had fallen over the arm that was keepin' her pinned against him. "Take some real deep breaths."
She nodded and slowly let go of his hand. Her body was more alive that it had ever been, but heavy almost unable to move. "I want to touch you." Lost, unsure of what she was doing she reached for his belt, but her fingers were clumsy and fumbled with the buckle as her knuckles grazed his abdomen.
"Not tonight. Tonight is for you." He pulled away from her delicate center and took hold 'a her wrists. "Let me be the one who did the pleasurin'. I done too much takin' in my life."
"Hold me?" she was still lost in the maelstrom he'd created and she was surprise she was able to speak at all, as her body shook. She could feel her need, his need and a deep strength that rose from him and surrounded her. She rode the swift current of his emotions and they lulled her into complete peace. For the first time since she was fourteen years old, she knew she was totally safe. "Don't let me go."
"I got ya, Babe." He pulled her into the crook of his arm and ran his hand through her hair, kissing her forehead. "I got ya." Their bodies were pressed together and he could feel every inch 'a her. He'd never felt want like he did at that moment and he was surprised that he hadn't taken the relief she'd offered him.
"You feel so good." She wiggled closer to him, needing as much as he was willing to give her.
"Shhh, sleep, River, sleep." He looked down and watched as her lids grow heavy. He felt her breathing deepen and slow.
"Ya let me see into your soul," he whispered as he held her close. He didn't understand what it was about this small woman that kept givin' a man like him new experiences. He watched his fingers move slowly through her hair. They had brought her such pleasure minutes earlier. Now all he wanted was to gently touch her. It made him shake his head in wonder. He was a big rough mercenary who was used ta takin' not givin'. When he was with a woman he's main interest was gettin' his rocks-off and gettin' on his way, but not with River, somethin' 'bout her changed all the rules. With her he'd had the strength to…the strength to…
He remembered that quote 'a hers. The first time he'd head her sayin' it was months ago when he'd still thought she was crazy but Inara had repeated it a few weeks back.
'To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage.'
He remembered hearing other things. Simon's voice was clear in his mind from both times they talked.
'It's not the worst thing in the worlds and all their moons, to care more about a woman than you do yourself.'
'I know how a man touches a woman he desires. In eighteen months I've never seen you put aside something you wanted because someone else would be hurt or inconvenienced. Do yourself and River a favor and figure out why you did tonight.'
'Do you love my sister?'
"Yeah," he gasped as the knowledge hit him with the force of a grenade. "Tianna! Yes…" He rocked her slight frame against his. "I love ya, River-girl," he mouthed the words. "Now I just gotta figure out how ta convince you 'a that." Zoë's words rang in his head and he finally understood what the woman had been tryin' ta tell him.
'You should understand that no matter how much time you have with a person, it will never be enough. I don't care if it's two minutes or a lifetime. You find that one person who…who…fills up your soul and time just doesn't matter, anymore than age or experience.'
Suddenly it didn't matter to Jayne if he lived another two years or fifty, as long as they could be spent with River Tam by his side. As she slept, his mind worked harder than he ever thought it had. He figured the toughest part was gonna be gettin' her to agree. He knew she cared 'bout him, but was it enough? She'd panicked somethin' fierce when she'd realized he might die sooner than she'd expected.
They'd been pressed close to each other in a corner of the cargo bay and kissin'. He knew enough 'bout women to realize they had been 'bout two seconds away from movin' behind the crates and peeling off each other's clothes. The girl was inexperienced, but she was a reader and as hard as she tried to keep people's thoughts out, he doubted she would 'a been surprised if he'd picked her up and carried her into the shadows.
He almost stopped breathing when he thought 'bout those few minutes. What had he felt 'sides an almost unstoppable desire for her?
'Do you love me? He remembered her askin' him that. He laughed at the ruttin' fool he'd been, 'cause he hadn't been able to say the words. Lookin' back he knew for certain sure that what he felt for her now, was no different than it had been, but like the hundan he'd been all his life, he hadn't been able ta admit it.
'I…ah…I…ah…I ain't never felt that way 'bout no female but my ma or my sis.' He'd thought he'd been being so smart, skirtin' the answer, so he wouldn't have to look too deep at what he'd been feelin'.
She was just an innocent young girl and had had the nerve to tell him what she'd really felt. 'You make my insides shiver with needs that I never knew existed. I want you to touch me and fill…' He'd never let her finish what she was sayin'. It had grabbed at his gut and had lit him on fire. All he'd done was yell at her and had told her not to say the words 'cause it made 'em true.
Next thing he knew she was rollin' on the floor screamin' that she'd caused his early death. It still didn't make no sense. He didn't give a hang 'bout when he died, as long as River was safe and with him up ta the end.
"How am I gonna convince you 'a that, Babe?" He kissed her and pulled her top back down into place with shake of his head. What the ruttin' hell was he doin'? He was a breast man. He usually liked 'em large 'cause he had large hands, but River's were the most perfect set he'd ever seen or felt. Coverin' 'em up was plain wrong, but he weren't taken any chances 'a anyone else walkin into the shuttle and seein' her like that. "The Doc must 'a been right," he sighed. "There is a difference 'tween sexin' and makin'…love." Jayne knew he ached something fierce, with need for Girlie, but what they'd done had everythin' ta do with love and nothin' ta do with sexin'.
By the next afternoon, Jayne wasn't any closer so solvin' his problem. But at least the terrible tension that had kept River at arms length was missin'. They were back ta being them, whatever the ruttin' hell that was. She'd give him lingerin' touches when no one was lookin'. He'd smooth her hair and they both laughed.
They'd landed on Boros mid-mornin' and were headed toward the seedy bar where they were to meet their contact for the next job. He and Girlie had gone ahead on foot. Mal and Zoë were to follow later in the mule. They'd never worked with the men they were meeting, so the Captain wasn't taken any chances. All four of them would be in the bar. But they wouldn't be sitting together. The two hired guns were to be watching out for trouble.
"I still don't see problems for the Captain." River frowned. It was the same thing she'd been saying all day. She was picking up some very odd vibrations in the air, but they didn't have anything to do with the job. She and Jayne had slowed their pace as she'd done one last check. The town that was their destination was a quarter of a mile away.
"You doin' all right?" He watched her carefully. "Ya didn't get much sleep last night."
"My hours spent in suspension of consciousness were more than sufficient because they were extremely relaxing and deep, thanks to your…ah…" Her hand brushed his arm and she played with his leather sleeve.
"Huh?" He glared at her and wrapped his large hand around her smaller one. "Ya know Girlie, you only start talkin' in them confusin' words when ya get troubled or embarrassed. T'ain't nothin' to be embarrassed 'bout." His thumb stroked her skin not thinkin' 'bout what he was doin' as he smiled at the flush on her cheeks.
"If we have this discussion again, we will be standing here when the Captain and Zoë come by in the mule. They will discover us talking in the middle of the road, instead of sitting in the establishment we are heading toward so we may watch their backs."
"Honey, if we get into this again, we won't be talkin', we'll be kissin'."
"The probability of that is very high," she sighed wondering what had happened to her determination to stay away from Jayne. Ever since she'd awoken in his arms all she'd wanted to do was touch him.
He chuckled as he let go of her and they picked up their pace to a quick walk. They'd lost time twice already and he wasn't 'bout to do it again, no matter how interested he was in the soft skin on the top of her hand. "Gotta say, that you look mighty pretty in your new duds."
"Thank you," she refused to look at him because she knew that would only start them off again. "I bought them for functionality not as an enhancement." She'd learned by the second job they'd pulled that she needed clothes made of sturdier material or she'd be constantly replacing them. Her share of the take from that rainy moon job had gone to purchase the deep green canvas three-quarter length split skirt, and matching jacket she was wearing.
"Ya should 'a made Mal buy 'em for ya." Jayne frowned as he remembered the tear in her dress and the large bruise that had formed on her left thigh when she'd had ta fight ta disarm a disagreeable contact.
"I buy my own things!" She stuck her nose in the air, not comfortable where the conversation was going and unsure why.
"Ya let me buy them boots, for ya and the hair thingy."
"Ahh…but you are the one who is always complaining that it is inappropriate for me to go around without foot apparel. These were a most considerate gift. They are soft enough to move easily in combat." She loved the smooth well tanned leather of her footwear. "I shall be careful not to get Reaver blood on them." The once soft boots that Inara had given her when she'd moved to the Training House had become stiff and hard after being worn in the battle on Mr. Universe's moon. She refused to admit that just the thought of putting them on had made her insides hurt. "The barrette was something you promised me if you could not find the one I lost in the rain storm."
"Knew ya couldn't do that fancy fightin' 'a yours in them old heavy clunkers that was hand-me downs from Kaylee," he mumbled, refusing to talk about the hair clip. A part of him felt guilty for never returning the one he had stashed in his dresser. "'Sides now ya look like someone to be taken seriously." He nodded his head and looked at her out of the corner of his eyes. She had her stiletto strapped 'round her waist and her jacket was large enough, over those tiny tops 'a hers, to partially conceal both hand guns she carried in the shoulder holster he'd rigged for her. Today she'd left her automatic rifle behind, along with the bandolier that carried its ammo.
"This appears to be the establishment." She wrinkled her nose at the stench of unwashed bodies, urine and stale liquor that permeated the air as they approached the door.
"Ya pickin' up any danger?" He watched her carefully as she frowned.
"No…not…really…something is unusual, but there is no bloodshed." She didn't like the foggy feeling she was getting. She knew that something was ahead of them, but it didn't feel like death or danger. "I am sorry. There is nothing more I can tell you."
"Don't worry, but stick close by me, ya hear." Jayne ordered as he put on his meanest scowl and stepped through the doors with River beside him. Since he was staring menacingly at any man who looked her way, he missed that she rolled her eyes at his over-protectiveness. She was more than capable of taking care of herself and him too.
They took a table in the corner where they could watch everything that was going on in the room without being obvious about it. Moments later a tall man wearing a long brown coat and an equally tall woman strode through the doors. The couple looked around until a small red-headed man nodded at them and invited them to join him and a friend for a drink.
River was finding it hard to concentrate on the Captain and Zoë and what was going on at the table ten feet away. She was aware that someone was watching Jayne and it made her nervous. She carefully picked up her whiskey and pretended to sip as her eyes slowly perused the room. It was then she saw the woman. One quick glance into the whore's mind and the reader felt her stomach lurch. She gripped her glass to keep from placing a possessive hand on the Merc's arm.
"Everythin' all right?" The big man had noticed a change in Girlie's breathin' pattern.
"Yes, the Captain is concluding his business now." It was safe. There was no danger in the form of death or blood. She weighed her choices as Zoë beckoned for them to take the seats vacated by the red-haired man and his bald-headed companion. In that second she could feel the future rushing upon her and would have done anything to avoid the moment she knew she couldn't side step. She loved Jayne, but wouldn't let him die uselessly because she couldn't let him be with another woman. He had given her so much the night before and hadn't cared enough about her to take what she offered. He needed relief from the sexual desires that had never left him all day. It was what he required if he was to live long enough to grow to love her.
"Hi ya handsome." The bleached-blonde hussy put her hand on Jayne's arm. "Since your daughter's gonna join your friends over there, how about you and I gettin' better acquainted. You could… buy me a drink or…something."
"Huh?" He'd noticed the woman, when he'd been checking out everyone who was in the bar, but he'd seen her as nothing but a possible threat to the lives of his friends. For one second it caught him by surprise, 'cause she was the kind of woman he would have welcomed in the past. Now all she did was infuriate him by reminding him of how much younger Girlie was than he. "She ain't my daughter."
"Daddy I'll…" River couldn't get the words out and make her wobbly legs move at the same time. She opted for movement and headed toward Zoë and the Captain.
"Just a ruttin' minute." Jayne roared. "I'm not interested, and she ain't my daughter. She's my…she's my…." He hated that he couldn't put a label ta what they was. He grabbed River by the arm and began hauling her toward the door. "Mal you and Zo want ta' stay for a drink then you're walkin. The girl and I got somethin' ta settle 'tween us and we ain't doin' it in public!"
"Let me go!" Flashing brown eyes met dangerous blue one.
"Only way you're gettin' free is if'n ya wipe the floor with my ass. Now come on!" He pulled her through the door and tossed her into the back of the mule. "Ya want 'a tell me what that 'daddy' business was all 'bout?" He climbed in beside her as the other two followed behind. Zoë was trying hard not to laugh, but Mal looked furious.
"She was…I've seen the pictures…I've seen…" She'd been to his bunk and seen the women he kept on display
"You've seen!" Jayne exploded. "Now I get it. She's the one ain't she? She's the one ya saw way back…months ago when ya was still crazy. The one ya think will keep me livin' 'till I'm an old man. Well I gotta tell ya honey, there's livin' and there's livin'. Any length 'a time spent with that…that, well I ain't interested. I'd rather die young."
River's mouth dropped open and tears filled her eyes as the mule zoomed away from its parking spot. She was seething mad and so was Jayne, but they were going too fast to talk unless they were huddled together and neither was about to move any closer to the other. Each sat in a corner with their arms crossed and waves of anger almost visibly floating off of them.
Five minutes later they were in Serenity's cargo bay. "Okay you two. I'm not even gonna mention the heap of unwanted attention you called down on our heads!" Mal stood and glared at his fuming hired guns while Zoë locked the door and got on the communicator to Inara. "I don't know what in Buddha's hairy balls that was all 'bout, but ya could 'a gotten us killed or lost us the job, if your timin' had been different!"
"Captain…" River tried to cut in.
"Mal…" Jayne growled.
"Shut-up the both 'a ya. Hand over your weapons."
"No one takes my girls."
"Jayne do not argue with me! Hand-them-over! I want everything. I don't want either of you to have so much as a toothpick in your pockets!" Once the guns and knives had been piled in the mule, the angry Captain took a deep breath. "You two are gonna settle this once and for all. I've disarmed ya so it won't be quite so easy for ya ta kill each other, but knowin' ya the way I do, I have no doubt that ya could come up with somethin'"
"We promised no guns, no knives….noooo…" River buried her face in her hands as she burst into tears.
"And no more cryin'! That's gotta be dealt with too!" Mal was beginning to come unglued, but liked to believe it wasn't showing. He was willin' to deal with 'Nara when she had tears. He figured if what he'd heard River say that one night was true, he'd caused some 'a them and it was payback time, but just 'cause he was the captain didn't mean that he had to deal with anyone else's.
"Now look what ya done, ya made, Girlie…" Jayne wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close as he frowned at the man below him.
"Me…me? I ain't the one she's cryin' bout. I ain't the one who was saddlin' up to a whore after spendin' the night in the shuttle with Little Albatross. My way a thinkin' ya owe the girl an apology and then some!"
"I wasn't the one doin' the saddlin' or leadin' anybody to believe I was their 'daddy'!"
"Do not start with that nonsense!" Mal only heard the word 'daddy' and saw red. He pulled his gun and pointed it at his hired muscle. He'd been wondering when he was gonna start gettin' the 'Captain-Daddy' jokes. This was not the time for it!
"No, don't shoot him!" River squeaked and threw her much smaller body in front of the large one beside her. "You have misunderstood him." She was still wiping tears from her face and was shaking.
"Don't you never do that again!" Jayne erupted at her. "You ain't never ta step in front of me like that, when some hot head has a gun pointed, ya hear!"
"But he might have shot you," she argued. "I weighted the percentages and the Captain was less likely to shoot me than you."
"One more word from either 'a you that ain't getting' to the bottom of all this silly and plain stupid behavior and I'll shoot the both 'a ya! Now I got a ship ta fly, since my pilot seems ta have taken leave 'a her senses." He turned toward the First-Mate who had gathered all the weapon's and was watching her best friend wondering if she shouldn't get the Doc to check his blood pressure. "You 'bout ready?"
"Yes, sir," she did her best to say it with a straight face, but she knew that the corners of her mouth twitched.
"Qingwa cao de liumang chusheng xai-jiao de xiang huo," the Captain muttered all the way up the stairs. He knew he'd been a mite cantankerous all day, but he hadn't gotten 'a wink of sleep after 'Nara left his bunk. The things that woman could do to a man's body without even tryin', it made him tremble to think what it'd be like if…if…Gorramnit, he weren't gonna think about that!
Jayne climbed down out of the mule and turned to the woman frozen in place with tears filling her eyes. "C'mere," he held up his arms and helped her gently down. "I didn't hurt ya when I tossed ya up there afore, did I?"
"No," she shook her head.
"Ya never did answer my question, 'bout that woman. Was she the one?"
"I told you I never saw a whore." Her lips quivered and she quickly covered them with her fingers.
"Then why?"
"You had great need to be with a woman. You've been most polite and kind to me. I've respected the privacy of your mind, but you shout your desires; I can't help hearing them." She straightened her spine and turned toward him with a practiced cool smile that would have passed her mother's inspection. "I have seen you with women in the past. She is what you would choose."
"I ain't polite and I ain't kind, and I am beginning to doubt just how good a reader ya are if ya thought I wanted that woman."
"You needed someone. There were no others and you wouldn't take sexing from me last night." Her smile broke to be replaced with sadness.
"Nope, don't want ya for sexin'." He stepped into her personal space.
"That was made clear to me and it is just as well, it would have led to…"
"It would 'a led ta my dyin' in 'bout two years?" His brows rose and he held her shoulders 'cause he could tell that she was 'bout ready ta bolt. "I don't care 'bout that, not if I'd have ta be with anybody but you."
She stared at him, unsure if she had heard him correctly. "No, I can't let you." She covered her abdomen with both hands. With her eyes closed, she pictured herself as she'd been, or would be, crying at his grave. She shook her head, too worried to care about correct verbiage at the moment.
He saw her unconscious gesture and it was like a punch in the gut. "I leave ya with a youngin' on the inside." He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and covered both of her hands with one of his. The thought of her having his kid brought joy to his heart and filled him with despair when he thought it was something he'd never live to see.
"Yes…" She felt his pain along the edges of her mind. It was mixed with hers and it broke her heart. "I love you…" she had to tell him, he had to know what she felt; maybe it would make it easier.
"That a fact." He smiled as a number of pieces fell into place. "'Cause I…I…love ya…have for a while now, just was too stupid to know it, 'till last night," he had to whisper, but he was able to get the words out and he could tell that she heard them because she went lax against his chest, letting him support her weight. "I don't want ya just for sexin'. I want ya for my wife."
"You said the words, you made it real." She blinked at him as her eyes froze over and she was carried into the future. A future she'd seen twice before. She and Jayne were sleeping wrapped tightly around one another. They were old and tired. Their children were grown with grown children of their…"
"River where'd ya go, Babe? He'd picked her up and was sitting on a crate holding her tightly.
"It's back, it's all back. The words made it real. You've undone the damage I did. I think that was what made you careless, worrying about why you couldn't say the words. Your mind was on other things and you were killed."
"In the vision that scared ya so, I never told ya I loved ya?" he still had to whisper his feelin's but it seemed to be enough for her. "Never married ya when ya were havin' my youngin'?"
"No," she shook her head still amazed that he'd said the words. "We came together too soon. You had no time for feelings to grow."
"I deserved ta be shot." He hated to think he would 'a done that to River, but knew there'd been a time when he would 'a up and left anyone who he got in a family way. "Sure it wasn't Mal or that brother 'a yours that didn't take a gun ta me?"
"They knew I loved you and I think they hoped you'd realize you loved me too."
"I think it would be a mighty good idea for us to go and practice sayin' them words." He stood with her still in his arms and headed for the stairs. "The shuttle or my bunk?"
"Oh, definitely your bunk." She caressed his face and kissed him deeply. "I have no wish to make love for the first time with all of Inara's ghosts watching."
"Hate ta tell ya this, honey, but as far as I'm concerned, last night was our first time."
"I seemed to have missed something." River nibbled on his neck.
"I won't leave anythin' out this time." He looked at her as he got ta the top 'a the stairs. "Tomorrow mornin' afore we pick up the goods, we're gettin' married."
"I will marry you, but I'd like to do so at Southdown Abbey on Persephone. Shepherd Book studied there for years. We're due to make planet fall in eight days."
"Marry, who's getting married?" Simon looked up from the table where he was pretending to play cards with Inara, Kaylee and Zoë. The four of them had been listening at the top of the steps, and had quickly moved into the galley.
"We is. You okay with that Doc?" Jayne kept on walking with River in his arms.
"Not a problem in the worlds or any of their moons." He nodded at the older man. As much as he'd tried to prepare himself for this moment, it had still taken his breath away. His one conciliation was that he'd been sure to update the Merc's innocs the day after they'd talked. River wouldn't be getting pregnant anytime in the next six months.
"Zoë, would you tell the Captain that Jayne and I still have some things to settle but we need more privacy than the cargo bay. I shall be unable to relieve him on the bridge." River smiled and tried to look innocent, but from the way the First-Mate rolled her eyes, she knew she hadn't fooled anyone. "We're only following his orders."
The two disappeared down the ladder to the Merc's bunk. Jayne put her feet on the deck and slid out of his jacket. She carefully hung hers on the hook beside his. He watched her run her hand gently over both garments, a small smile on her face.
"Ya knew didn't ya?" He remembered the way she'd looked at her coat hanging beside his once before and it gave him a jolt to the stomach. "That's why ya kept sayin' ya never saw a whore."
"I'm sorry, but that day with the coffin, you wouldn't have believed, it would be further proof of my mental instability." She put her arms around him needing him to understand the driving fears that had kept her silent. "When we talked about it, that night we'd been in the ducts, all you asked was 'who's the whore'. I couldn't say anything because I'd begun to care about you and I knew you still had doubts about me. It was selfish, but you were the only one who saw me as a real person. It would have been too painful if you'd gone back to thinking I was the moonbrained girl."
"I don't know what I would 'a done, but you're right, I wouldn't 'a believed ya." He walked backward until he felt his bed hitting the backs of his knees. "It could 'a led to real trouble." He ran his fingers under the tiny straps that were holding up her top. "I was already thinkin' ya were ruttin' hot!"
"You were?" She grinned. No one had ever told her that before. "But I'm not anything like…them." She pointed to the pictures of naked woman hanging above his bed.
"Sorry, 'bout that, Babe." He turned and ripped them down, taking a moment to look around. For once things weren't too much of a mess. He sat on the bed and pulled her between his spread thighs. "I love ya, and there ain't never been anyone I wanted the way I want ya."
"I love you, too," she whispered as she pulled his shirt up and over his head. Her breath caught when she saw the scars on his chest. "I… hurt you." One small finger moved over the white ridges and they brought tears to her eyes.
"Naw ya didn't, Babe, ya brought me ta life." He reached down and untied his boots and then pulled hers off one foot at a time. "Now it's my turn ta bring you ta life." His hands slid under her tank top and he finally gave in to his desire to remove it. "You're perfect," he breathed as he pulled her close and covered one hard nipple with his lips.
She sighed as his hands moved over her and gasped as he unfastened her skirt. It fell into a pool of material at her feet, leaving her pressed against him in only her panties. "Jayne…" She gripped his shoulders to keep from loosing her balance.
"I got ya." He lifted her up and laid her on his bed. Always careful to touch or stroke her, he removed the rest of his clothes and lay facing her in bed.
"I like the feel of your skin." River ran her hand over his shoulder and down to his stomach. "The texture is different than mine." She grinned. "Man skin to go with your man parts for your girl's name." She reached lower and enjoyed the way he instantly hardened against her hand.
"Easy there, Girlie, or ya may miss out on somethin' again tonight." He rolled her beneath him careful to take his weight on his elbows. "My man parts are excited enough without you doin' too much explorin'."
"You were able to explore me last night."
"Yeah and I want ta be able to do it a bit more thoroughly tonight." He reached between them for her wandering hands and pulled them back to his shoulders. "I need ya to listen ta me, River." He held her face in his palms and tried to keep his body under control. "I ain't been anybody's first time before. One thing I learned 'bout you last night is that you're as small and tight in your girl parts as ya are everywhere else. You need to let me take the lead and tell me if'n I'm hurtin' ya. I'll be careful, but I ain't a mind reader."
"I can't read yours either, at least not about personal things. When we're working I know exactly what you need me to do, but when it is our private lives I don't know where I leave off and you begin. It's been that way for a few weeks."
"Okay." He kissed her temple and ran his hands through her hair until it fanned out on his pillow as he'd dreamed 'a seein' it. "Okay, that makes it a mite harder. I just don't want ya ta be scared."
"The only thing that frightens me about you is the thought of being without you."
"Never gonna happen, Babe. Never gonna happen, 'cause I love ya." He kissed her deeply as his hands moved over her soft skin. He played, touched and teased her until she was gasping for breath beneath him.
"Please Jayne I need you." She looked at him with feverish brown eyes. The deep clawing ache was worse than the night before and her body was on fire.
"Put your legs 'round my hips. We're gonna take this real slow, 'cause it's gonna be a tight fit."
"My muscles are very flexible," she told him adamantly.
"Yeah, but you never used these muscles afore."
"We will fit!" She grabbed his shoulders and tried to shake him, not wanting to wait longer.
"That's my stubborn girl." He kissed her and slid slowly into her. "River open your eyes, I need ta see ya. Don't wanna hurt ya."
"Ohhh!" she cried out and held onto him tightly. "I'm all right. It is a natural thing. Love you," she whispered and met his blue gaze, as she bit her lip.
"I love ya, too, Babe." He clenched his teeth at how wonderful she felt even as he'd caused her pain. It didn't seem fair so he held very still until he was sure she was all right.
"Don't stop." Her legs tightened around his hips and she was tempted to rock her pelvis tight against his. She knew intellectually what was happening but books hadn't prepared her for the wonder of the real thing. She felt everything and wanted more. For the first time since the Academy she longed to feel more.
"You still with me, Babe," Jayne's voice was hoarse with desire. Every instinct told him to move hard and fast, to take care of his own needs, his partner's be-damned, but he didn't. Instead he moved slowly into her.
"Yes," she nodded taking deep breaths to allow her muscles to adjust. "It is wonderful when you touch me on the outside, but to feel you on the inside is to become a part of you, to be real."
"If you're ready, things are 'bout to get a whole lot more real." He brought his right hand up and covered her breast, pullin' and tweakin' her nipple. When she shivered at his touch he grinned at her. "Ya like that. Sometime we gotta see if I can make ya come just by touchin' ya there." When she laughed and agreed with him he wondered if he'd been a fool for the last twenty years or if this was just another way River was different from most people. He couldn't remember the last time a woman was turned on when he'd touched her above the waist.
"No more slow." She rocked her hips slightly and was rewarded with wonderful sensations running through out her body and Jayne's kiss. "I want…"
"I know, Babe, I know."
She looked at his face and the depth of the color in his eyes and couldn't look away. It was like the night before but hundreds of times better. She felt him moving and cried out. Then she was suspended, it was just the two of them. She didn't feel anything except where he was touched her, filled her, surrounded her. But his eyes carried her deep into him. She'd heard the Captain say that everyone died alone but Jayne was showing her how wrong Mal was. She'd never ever be alone again. There would always be this man, her man. Jayne would be part of her forever.
Jayne felt her body tighten around his and gasped as he rocked in and out of her. Conscious thought left him. His body moved on instinct and so did hers. He heard her gasp in joy; could smell her sweet scent; everywhere he was sensitized to her touch; the taste of her mouth was still on his tongue; but most of all he saw deep into her eyes as they blew through time and space together to the gentle rhythm of her body's deep contractions. He dove deeper and cried out her name as he filled her. In that moment he knew he'd been right the night before. He not only touched her soul, his fused with hers.
Later Jayne held her tight in his arms. "I love ya, River," he whispered the words that made her smile. "That Chinese samurai ya like so much is right. Lovin' ya gives me strength ta be what I gotta be, but knowin' ya love me, that gives me the courage ta do it."
She smiled at him and kissed him because she knew he'd tell her those words every night for at least the next fifty years.
Two weeks later they were married, in what had been Shepherd Book's garden, at Southdown Abbey on Persephone. The sky was blue and a gentle wind made the trees rustle. They were surrounded by birds chirping and the scent of rosemary, lavender, and basil. Tall stone walls kept the noise of the city out and the peace that belonged to the ancient buildings and their grounds in.
Everyone saw, but no one but River took note of, the cowled, robed form of a new initiate working in a distant field. The man was tall, black and the pieces of his mind that hadn't been wiped clean pressed lightly against the bride's. For a moment she gripped her brother's arm tightly before walking down the wide path that separated herbs from flowers, to join her husband to-be and their friends who were gathered in front of the old Shepherd who had been Book's mentor.
The young reader sniffed the air for danger, but found none. As the distant man had told Mal a few months earlier, 'you won't (see me again), there is nothing left to see.'
"I'm ready now Simon." She smiled, as she sent the lone man a mental message that she'd picked up from Kaylee long ago. Since the young mechanic always remembered the words as she and Book had spoken them, that was the how River sent them.
'So how come ya don't care where you're going?' River smiled, she knew that when Kaylee had asked that question she'd really meant, 'how come you don't care that much 'bout the ship ya sail on.
'Cause how you get there is the worthier part.' How indeed, the young woman looked into the blue eyes of the man waiting for her and her heart sang. It had been a worthy journey for them all and in many ways they were just starting out on a new one.
'You a missionary?' Kaylee's words from over a year ago were being slowly sent to the distant working man so he could absorb their importance.
'Been out of the world for a spell. Like to walk it a while, maybe bring the word to them as need it.' Along with what Book had said, River took another moment to send a sharp clear picture of an ancient Firefly class ship. The young woman knew that it would be a long spell before the new initiate would be in the world again. The man's hair would be long and white, in neat corn rows to keep it from caving in his brain. He had much to do and learn until he was remade with all his cracks mended and missing vacant spots repaired. She hoped by giving him a peek at Book's back pages it would help him find his way to peace.
As Simon handed River over to Jayne, she stood on tip-toes and kissed her brother's cheek. "Thank you for everything. I'll always love you," she whispered.
"And I you, Dummy." He tweaked her nose and laughed. "It's not too late, you can always change your mind." He knew she wouldn't but it was his responsibility as her older brother to remind her of that.
"It was too late from the moment I met him, Brat! I'll be sure to ask you the same question in a few months' time." She glanced in Kaylee's direction.
"You don't say."
"No I don't." She would use her physic powers to help them and keep them out of trouble, but never again meddle in the crew's personal life. Though two years down the road what she'd seen for Mal and Inara would come to pass. But instead of the Captain wrapping his long brown coat around his very pregnant woman and holding her as she cried over Jayne's fresh grave, he did so as they honored Wash, Book and Mr. Universe, on Serenity's yearly trip to Haven.
As Simon stepped back, she felt two others join them. The shadowy form of Shepherd Book smiled his blessings as he stood beside his mentor, as much a part of the ceremony as he could be. She knew if she looked over her shoulder to where Zoë stood she'd see a dim outline of a laughing blonde man waiting patiently for the long years to pass and his woman to join him.
Then she was surrounded by Jayne's mental presence as he put his arm around her. It had been a strong sure companion since the afternoon they'd first made love two weeks earlier. He blocked all the others, keeping her safe and cared for. She felt a steadiness take hold and knew that this was where she was always meant to be. It finally made sense, the hell of the Academy, the craziness, all the killing and bloodshed. It brought her to this moment and this man and she wouldn't trade it for anything.
The End or the happy beginning for our couple
- Current Location:Still flying
- Current Mood: accomplished
- Current Music:Firefly Theme
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( 18 comments — Leave a comment )


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I've always wanted to go to one of those big writers' conferences-- well, okay, ever since Anne-girl told me of their existence, which was about three months ago. Relative terms, people, relative terms. But such a thing sounded positively top-notch, and I don't mind saying that I was quite yellow with longing to attend one of them. (People are green with jealousy--is there any good reason why they should not be yellow with longing?)
But I have no more reason to be yellow or any other color, for on October 22nd (a week from today! ONE MORE WEEK 'TIL REVOLUTION!) there will be a veritable explosion of activity over at Anne-girl's blog, Scribblings of My Pen. Because Anne-girl is hosting an online writers' conference and I don't think I'm going too far when I say that this kind of news just about takes the giddy biscuit!
There will be inspirational posts on a slew of different writing topics, there will be pep talks from Anne-girl's characters, there will be opportunities to swap your writing with fellow scribblers, there will be question-and-answer sessions with some of your favorite authors in the blogosphere (Anne's taking the questions now, by the way!) and plenty of rip-snorting fun. Besides which, Anne has
Oh, and don't forget to stop off here and pick up a button of your own-- let's spread the word, shall we?

subset: commoncrawl


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The letter "T" designates from its site of maturation, in the "Thymus". T-cells regulate the "Cell-mediated immunity". The cells operates against cells bearing intracellular organisms, T-cells recognize antigen only when it is on the surface of a body cells. T-cells have receptors on their membrane surface (cell markers), which belongs to an important group of molecules known as the "Major Histocompatibility Complex (MHC)".
There are 4 types of t-lymphocytes are present in immune system. They are :
i) T-Helper cells (TH-Cells):
- The TH-cells recognize and bind to the combination of the antigen with the class -II MHC on the macrophage surface.
- TH-cells produce a variety of soluble factors known as "Cytokines". The cytokines induce gamma-interferon" and other "Macrophage activating factors".
- The cytokines restore the microbicidal mechanism of the macrophage and bring about the death of the intracellular microorganisms.
II) Cytotoxic T-Cells (Tc -Cells):
- Each Tc recognizes antigen only association with a cell marker, the class-l MHC.
- Tc also releases gamma-interferon.
- The cells recognize virally infected cells, which are killed before the virus replicates.
- Like B-cells, Tc - cells require help from Th-cells.
- These cells attack infected cells and cancer cells.
- The cells discharge a protein called "Perforin", which lyses the infected cell.
iii) T-Suppressor cells (Ts-cells):
- The Ts-cells promote immune response.
- The cells suppress a specific antibody formation (Infectious tolerance).
- The "Infectious tolerance" phenomenon was shown that mice could be made unresponsive by infection of a heavy dose of sheep RBC into them; their T-cells suppressed specific antibody formation in the recipient mice.
T-cell receptor:
- The T-cell receptor was elucidated through the powerful recombinant DMA technology.
- The T-cell receptor called "Ti" (which is a made up of two non-identical polypeptides- α & β chains and joined by a disulfide bond).
- The Ti associated with another protein called "CD3".
Ti +CD3 –> Ti-CD3 complex
(T-cell receptor complex)
- After many years, the immunologists identified second type of receptor composed of gamma and 6-chains.
- The CDs is made up of at least three polypeptide chains (γ,δ and Є).
iv) Ts-lymphocytes: (T suppressor Cells):
- Ts cells are a sub population of T cells that suppresses the activity of B-cells and other T-cells.
- They are the regulatory T cells.
- They inhibit antibody production by B cells.
- They suppress the functions of the T killer cells and T helper cells.
Development of T-lymphocytes:
The T-lymphocytes are derived from "Hemopoietic stem cells" of bone marrow. Some of these cells turn into "Lymphopoietic progenitor". The lymphoid progenitor cells turn into "Pre-T-lymphocytes". The Pre-T-cells leave the bone marrow and enter the thymus. In the thymus they mature into T-lymphocytes through the influence of thymic hormones. The mature T-lymphocytes enter the blood and colonies the secondary lymphoid organs such as spleen, lymph nodes, payer's patches, etc. Here they become functional on exposure to antigens.


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Post: #107-04-2012
Pindi Gheb is also a normal city of Pakistan. This is not very popular like other cities of Pakistan. The people of this city are very cooperative talented. Most of the people have known about this city and its people who are near this city. The girls of this city are very beautiful and lovely. They are also like other Pakistani girls who watch TV, Cable and Internet. In these sources they watch many friendship and loving videos. That's why they also wish to be the friend of someone. There are many boys in Pindi Gheb but the girls of Pindi Gheb have no permission to meet with strange person and even friends without any reason. They really like friends and they want to talk to them or chat with them by mobile. Here in this article I am telling you about the girls of Pakistan and especially the girls of Pindi Gheb that why they want to talk to friend by mobile and why they need mobile friends? Most of the girls from all over Pakistan like friendship but actually they are very busy that's why they want to make mobile friends. Some of the girls have no permission for friendship with strange people. And some of the girls have no internet in home that's why they want to make mobile friends. These three reasons are the basic and important reasons because of these situations the girls of Pakistan decided to make mobile friends. Now it does depend on the people of Pakistan. Do they want to be the friends of those girls or not? Here in this post we have a girl from Pindi Gheb. 20 years old Noor that want to be the friend of many boys and girls by mobile. Here in this post you will find the cell number of Noor and many other girls and boys who want to make friends on mobile and chat with them. I hope that these numbers of girls will meet you with your new friend.


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Rose Bowl Football Jersey Comes Home
Alumnus donates jersey from 1949 bowl game victory to University Archives
Standing on the sidewalk outside of Ryan Field in a purple Northwestern jacket, 87-year-old Ed Tunnicliff (Communication '50) looked like an average longtime Wildcat football fan. But Tunnicliff has an indelible place in Northwestern sports history, having scored the winning touchdown in the football team's 1949 Rose Bowl victory.
The former Wildcat halfback returned to campus Friday to contribute his Rose Bowl game jersey to University Archives. He also took the opportunity to tour the football program's current facilities, meet with head coach Pat Fitzgerald, revisit the 1949 Rose Bowl trophy and share his memories of an unforgettable era in Northwestern football.
"If you look back through Northwestern's history, when they had good teams, it was because they had depth," he said. "When I was there, we had all the veterans coming back from four years of war and then all of the freshmen coming in as well, so we had all kinds of depth, and it made a difference."
That depth led to the team's first and only Rose Bowl victory -- an accomplishment that is still heralded by the Northwestern community today. After talking to University archivist Kevin Leonard, Tunnicliff decided to donate one of his most cherished Rose Bowl relics -- the number 15 jersey he wore during the game -- to the university's collection of historic memorabilia.
Northwestern's athletic department initially recruited Tunnicliff when he was in high school. World War II interrupted his football aspirations, however, so he finally came to Evanston on the G.I. Bill after serving two years in the Army.
Last week, Tunnicliff explored the current football facilities at Ryan Field, sharing stories as he recognized familiar faces of former teammates on the "Wildcat Greats" wall in the football office. He said the remaining members of the Rose Bowl-winning team are still in frequent contact, and the memories of that historic season are as fresh as ever.
"It was a lot of work, with double practices and getting ready for the game, but even just to be able to play in that game was a tremendous experience by itself," he said of the Rose Bowl.
Reliving his glory days on the gridiron is even easier now, thanks to a digitization project that has preserved many Wildcat games and posted them for online viewing, including the Rose Bowl victory.
"Back when we were in school, the only time you saw one of our game films was on Monday when the coaches went over it with us," he said. "It's so nice because now you get to study it. But it also gives you a chance to be more critical, too."
Tunnicliff retired from the life insurance business 28 years ago and now spends most of his time fishing in Mountain Home, Ark. He didn't want to make any predictions about future Rose Bowl appearances, but he has avidly followed the good fortunes of the current Wildcat squad and is hopeful about their future success.
"They're tremendous," he said. "I'm just keeping my fingers crossed, especially for next Saturday [Oct. 5] against Ohio State."
After meeting with Coach Fitzgerald, Tunnicliff summed up what makes Northwestern's football program special -- both in his day and today.
"The main thing here at Northwestern is academics, as well it should be, and you were expected to do the same thing that any other student did," he said. "That whole attitude about education being most important just permeates everything and you just feel confident."
Watch Tunnicliff share more memories from the 1949 Rose Bowl.
Read more about the 1949 Rose Bowl team in this Northwestern magazine feature.


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Much of our food in the UK is sourced via often-complex supply chains involving numerous producers and processors from around the world. Unfortunately this can lead to illicit and/or unethical practices as some food ingredients may be contaminated by adulterants or obtained from undesirable sources. Recent examples include the use or horsemeat instead of beef… Read more »
Case Studies: IMSPEX Diagnostics Ltd
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The episode: "Space Travelers," ep. 401
The riff: Inserted by Joel after a testy Gregory Peck asks a reporter "What's your question?"
The explanation: They're referring to the squirrely, big-foreheaded guy behind the reporter, who bears a resemblance to American mass murderer Richard Speck. A longtime troublemaker with a "born to raise hell" tattoo, he murdered eight young student nurses from South Chicago Community Hospital on July 14, 1966. He later claimed to have no memory of the events, and served decades of sentence at Stateville Prison in Joliet, IL. He died in prison of a heart attack in 1991.
Novelty factor: When I first heard the name, it didn't mean anything to me. However, reading about the grisly details of the case, I came to remember having read about this guy before. It's an unusually grim riff from the MST3k gang.


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Natresha Cole
Natresha Cole was an on-call substitute teacher, waking up many mornings uncertain whether she would be called to work or not. In addition to the inconsistent work hours, Natresha was hopscotching from one school to the next. Her aspirations were to become a teacher with her own classroom.
The Workforce Development Board brought Natresha's dreams closer to fruition when she received assistance at the East Valley America's Job Center of California (AJCC) in San Bernardino where she learned how to upload and submit her resume and polished her interview skills. She was also advised on what should be included and omitted from her resume.
Today Natresha is now a teacher with her own classroom and is employed at least 35 hours a week. "This assistance impacted my life because it helped me achieve my goal to get a position as a teacher," said Natresha. "Your program services have truly helped me to feel that I can get any job I want as long as I know how to apply for it."


text: Amazing Health Benefits of Tai Chi Carlos Guevara 24. August 2015 Balance: Movement & Stillness, Tai Chi (0) Tai Chi Chuan is a type of martial arts that is very gentle in practice. It involves a combination of breathing deeply from the diaphragm and dancelike poses that flow easily from one pose to another. Despite being slow and gentle, it provides a decidedly strenuous workout for people of many age groups. There have been recent studies that have shown that practicing Tai Chi can improve balance, strength in legs, pulse rate, cardiovascular endurance, immune system, cardiovascular endurance, muscular flexibility, sleep patterns, focus and concentration, ability to multitask in cognitive tests and, enhance self-esteem and overall happiness.In one very interesting study done last year, the actual brains of seniors who had been doing Tai Chi for a few years were compared side-by-side with the brains of people of the same age who had been sedentary. The brains of the tai chi practitioners revealed greater connectivity as well as other measures of brain health, particularly in regions for decision-making and attentiveness than the subjects that had never practiced Tai Chi.Dr. Chenchen Wang at Tufts Medical Center in Boston and the Director of The Center for Complementary & Integrative Medicine explained that basically Tai Chi "can improve physical as well as psychosocial health" overall.The Three Fundamental Components of Tai ChiWhen practitioners of Tai Chi are performing it properly, these three components are all working together:MovementIn doing Tai Chi, people feel the ground under their feet, sinking their full weight into the ground beneath them. While doing this they seek to maintain good physical alignment, which promotes balance and stability. Their movements gently flow from one to the other while shifting their body weight from being on the right leg to the left as a way to balance the feeling of being empty and full. These movements comprise what are referred to as b>forms, or routines. Some of the movements are named after different animals or birds, like "White Crane Spreads Its Wings". In the simpler forms of Tai Chi there are 13 different movements, however more complex forms of Tai Chi can have several dozen different movements. MeditationWhile doing the slow gentle Tai Chi movements, participants need to have a calm yet alert mind and this is maintained by focusing on the inner-self. Deep BreathingAs the flow of movement proceeds, participants inhale an abundance of fresh air into their lungs and exhale stale air along with toxins. This stretches all the muscles used in breathing while releasing tension. This is how the entire body can be provided with fresh nutrients from the oxygen being inhaled deeply into the lungs. Dr. Li, who has studied the benefits of this form of activity, says, "Our work suggests that doing Tai Ji Chuan (another form of Tai Chi) produces far better results when compared to doing low-impact activities like stretching". The Y.M.C.A. and other centers in your community and nationwide routinely offer affordable classes in Tai Chi, according to Dr. Li. You can locate a program close to you by going to www.americantaichi.net, the website for the American Tai Chi & Qigong Association.


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A Newsletter, RA Style
Care to hear where our films will play next? What our next project is? How about just a good movie rec? Add your details below to receive an occasional message from us with either all things RA or just specific news from the movies you care about.


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UBC Scholarships
Each year, Sidoo Family Giving provides generous scholarships to students in athletics and the arts. The athletics endowment is the largest of its kind at UBC—eleven students received scholarships into the football program this year. In addition, one theatre and one film student each received an SFG art scholarship. The program, which began seven years ago, provides students with funds ranging from $1000 to $2500 each, based on need. Many recipients of the scholarships would have been challenged to graduate from UBC if it were not for Sidoo Family Giving's support.


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Free Spinal Cord Awareness WristbandUpdated: May 5, 2017 6:47pm | Comments 0
Request a Free Spinal Cord Awareness Wristband to help raise awareness for the spinal cord injury (SCI) community. Click here then fill out the form and they'll get your free spinal cord injury awareness wristband mailed out in about 6-8 weeks. This offer will only be available while supplies last.
The following screenshot is of the current offer on the company's website at the time of this posting. It's at the sole discretion of the company offering the freebie/sample to fulfill any and all requests. Remember, VonBeau does not send out any free stuff.
Offers you might like:
Remember: VonBeau.com does not send out free samples or free products. Follow the instructions provided above to request the listed item.


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Meet Sierra Barter, CEO and Co-Founder of The Lady Project
[dropcap background="no" color="#333333"]W[/dropcap]omen supporting women never fails to make us feel warm and fuzzy inside. That's why we LOVE organizations like The Lady Project, which create space (both literal and figurative) for women to come together and lift one another up (usually just figuratively). This week, we caught up with Sierra to chat about her feminism and The Lady Project's new social media campaign.
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Introduce yourself! Tell us who you are and what you do.
I am Sierra Barter, I am the CEO & Co-Founder of The Lady Project. The Lady Project is an economic development non profit & membership organization that connects, inspires and showcases awesome women doing amazing things through events, membership and community engagement.[divider type="white" spacing="10"]
How do you define feminism and how does that play a part in the work you do?
Feminism to me, is about choice and equality. Feminism, is about social, political and economic equality for men and women. In Lady Project, we want women to define her own success and to give her the resources and tools that she needs to get there. We have women who work for themselves or have a killer side hustle or they are bartenders or stay at home moms-- it's all about your choice and your own personal success. We just want to be there for the ride and cheer you on along the way.[divider type="white" spacing="10"]
Tell us about #ReachBackGoForward! What's the goal and why should we join in on the fun?
#ReachBackGoForward is all about honoring and recognizing the women along the way who have helped you get where you are today. Nobody does it alone-- we need to have the support of others around us to get there, whether it's a parent, friend, partner, mentor...it's super important to thank those who have gotten us where we are AND reach back and help others around us as they are growing. Women, especially, need to reach back as we climb up that ladder. As a non profit, all volunteer organization, this campion not only honors those who have helped us along the way, but also inspires others to donate to our organization so we can continue to spread our mission and help more women. If you nominate five people, we hope you can donate $5 for those women, and that those other five women will do the same![divider type="white" spacing="10"]
What's the most challenging part of running the Lady Project? The most rewarding?
The most challenging is balancing running an organization with a full time job! I am very fortunate to have a full time day job that is fun and supportive of the work I do with Lady Project; but I do wish there were more hours in a day. Managing, overall is difficult and not something I've really done before. The most rewarding is when someone tells me their life is better and changed because of the Lady Project-- whether it's the support they receive from someone they met at one of our events, or a connection they made in our Facebook group or just as cheerleader; that's definitely the best party. And, our team- we have a really incredible team and the fact that they have been doing this now, as volunteers, for years is really rewarding and a big testament to our mission![divider type="white" spacing="10"]
How can our readers continue to follow and support your work?
So many ways! The biggest thing is to attend an event and join Lady Project: we have over a dozen chapters nationwide (ladyproject.org/chapters) and a really awesome online community, too, where you can connect between events. Readers can also come to our Summit this March in Providence (check out the lineup here: ladyprojectsummit.com) and follow along on our blog: ladyproject.org/blog


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Read this tip to make your life smarter, better, faster and wiser. LifeTips is the place to go when you need to know about Building and Remodeling and other Green Living topics.
To find out what the U.S. national standards are for building green architecture, consult the U.S. Green Building Council. The U.S. Green Building Council has established a program called Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design or LEEDS, a voluntary national green standard for building sustainable architecture. The criteria includes a rating system for categories including construction sites, water efficiency, energy, indoor environmental quality, materials, and innovation in design. Leeds recently added a new green standard component to cover the housing market.
It is LEED, not LEEDS. Leeds is a town in England.
The US Green Building Council created the LEED system. It stands for Leadership in Energy and Environmental Design. This Green Building Rating System is a points based rating system and the industry leader as a recognized and respected brand.
You can learn more at:
|Guru Spotlight
|William Pirraglia


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A couple of pictures of the making of theGoddess figurine. I actually hunted down mine and this figure is awesome!
I really like the multi-limb design. The paint application can be a little 'meh' but not so much. Great reference piece and also a great display piece.
You got to be patient though, the good stuff (yep, just one) start at 1:27(!)
Me likey!
For more WIP pictures from McFarlane studios, head on to the sculptor's corner. You'll be glad you did.


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« In Which If Anyone Paid Her She Would Be Like Him »
One Russian Man
by EMILY ROSENBERG
I went to Russia this summer because I thought it would teach me something about diplomacy. Unfortunately, my trip to Russia turned out to have no official trips inside government buildings, embassies, or foreign consulates, unless I count driving by them in our program's shuttle. On paper, my goal for this trip was to become at least proficient in Russian, and therefore increase my chances for studying at an impressive law school, while demonstrating to everyone that I have an impressive pathway of diplomatic travel ahead of me to follow.
I even had a Skype interview for a collegiate forum on Russian politics before a round of shots and a night on the Dumskaia Ulitza bar district. The internship did not turn out, unfortunately, but thankfully that night I was able to have a very international experience. That night would also be the height of my experience with a Russian diplomat… actually the Russian Diplomat, one of the cheapest but not the most painful friends I made in Russia.
Diplomat, in shots and followed by orange Fanta chasers, became my closest ally and worst enemy for a night out with the eight other people my age I'd never have gone out to party with back at college. However, they being the only people I knew in the city who spoke English, everyone decided to put preferences aside and coalesce ourselves into a fragile yet functional group of friends.
Had it not been for the Diplomat, I would have felt alone that night on Dumskaia. Not only did he take my attention completely away from answering complaints of only slightly sensible college students, he made me feel warm on a cold summer night. He let me know it's not the worst thing in the world to have an English name in a Russian city, and that it wasn't too bad to be an American in an expatriate bar even if you could only speak broken Russian with a noticeable American accent.
The Diplomat made this night no different than the next occasional nights I'd have with him. We were alone with a bunch of Russians and a few Americans who I would thank later for refusing to leave me, even though it should have been clear to everyone that the Diplomat was already my escort.
That night, the Diplomat led me to Bar Fidel on Dumskaia, a closet space more or less reeking with very unfamiliar Soviet nostalgia. One of the girls in our group, Camille, told me that we were there to meet three British students in our class – who turned out to be two gay men, two very sweet girls who were already muffled by their own favorite name for vodka, and Rachel, the one Brit we already knew from class. Of course, three members of our group had already wandered off to another bar, taking on the role of each other's inebriated escorts. I figured everyone's sense of direction were equally mediocre by that time - a later start than usual at half past midnight – but still I didn't worry about having them go. I didn't mind being alone with the Diplomat anyway.
By the time the Brits made it to Bar Fidel, there were only two other girls out of our original American group of eight still with us… one had taken a break on one of the tables after dancing on and around the bar for the past hour, and Camille, whose sober smile left me no clue that she was going to forget her real leather jacket in the bar after we'd leave. The Diplomat and I were busy talking to a Russian man named Nicko for as long as we could before he'd find another girl awaken from her rest and declare herself ready for another round of dancing.
I was happy enough that I didn't have to leave the Diplomat completely to talk to Nicko for a few minutes. There was no reason to think I'd leave everyone for the night, only that I'd leave them all for long enough to gain my sense of independence back. The strangest part of it all, though, was that I didn't feel independent at all.
Nicko and I started dancing for less than a minute before he asked me to go home with him. I would have agreed in less than a minute to trade my crowded social life at the time with one Russian man if I were back home, but here I couldn't imagine leaving with him. It wasn't so much a fear of his other existence as bait for a St. Petersburg trafficking ring, but instead the dormant idea that I was moving too fast. Our friend resting before still sat at the table, black waves of rising hair sprawling over the wood, and Camille would have been too busy with the British people to notice that I had slipped off the bar scene for the night. But since the Diplomat was making me think way too much about such a pleasant offer to leave, I stayed with them both.
Nicko wasn't the only man I left at Bar Fidel. The Diplomat lost his charm very quickly after following me home and insisting on staying in bed with me the entire night. It's easy to admit that I forgot about him as soon as I could the next morning, but that would leave the truth behind. Unlike other possible liaisons, the Diplomat did not leave me entirely after the night at Bar Fidel ended.
Instead, he waited in my freezer for the rest of the trip, and his somehow tough glass skin never even cracked.
He came back to me in many guises, sometimes with a green mark on his bottleneck and once even with a stain of cranberry juice on his usually pale, emotionless complexion. It seemed for the rest of the trip, about four more weeks, that he was the one friend I'd make in St. Petersburg who I'd want to keep in touch with over the years.
We had memories good and bad. He helped me find out how I was when I was having fun, and how I was when I wanted to be alone for what might have been an entire day if a field trip to Catherine the Great's palace wasn't scheduled for that afternoon. He'd stay around me, sit on the side of my bed, or hover next to my head. I guess I was in luck every night afterwards, when he was only a throbbing memory to me.
The night before, when I decided to leave Nicko and return home with the Diplomat and the girls in my group, lasted longer than any other night in St. Petersburg. Even though I was surprised to find out the Diplomat left the next day earlier than he usually did - in the early afternoon - that one night in a way still hasn't ended.
For the rest of the program and afterwards, the Russian men I was so excited to meet in St. Petersburg lost almost all of their importance, and my memories of one or two dates in Atlanta became stronger than they'd ever been to me before. These men who I thought I knew so well in Atlanta were so exciting to me, more than I could have convinced myself they were when I first met them.
I started to realize that after all this time with the Diplomat, who sometimes chose other names to call himself the next times we came across each other, I was just too American to always spend my time with him. It was no secret that he was a better match for the more European girls in our group, who knew more about traveling that I would for what could be more than ten years after the program. At the end of the trip, I spend my last night with the Diplomat, just to make the idea of putting on jeans in the fifty-five degree summer night a little less grueling and the air a little warmer to breathe.
The next morning he left early again. Instead of his throbbing gaze, I opened my window to see the grayish fog from last night's boat ride hovering around me. It was a beautiful night. Again, there was no hint of political education in it, but neither was there art or history or literature. It was just fog, lights, boats, the Neva River water, and the Diplomat doing his job. If anyone paid me I'd be like him. Going out, staying out, letting people test out just how international they are before they carve a global life out for themselves.
It's not to say that the way he does it – impairing senses and then surrounding one with people who speak no English except for "I don't speak any English" – turned me away from international policy forever. It's not to say that now I'll never go back to Russia because some nights it was cold and confusing. Instead, I hope I can go back alone, and if I ever do, spend as much time with the Diplomat as I did that night. A shot glass or two of him, and the rest of the hours with one or two people who I do know very well, or at least like very much.
Emily Rosenberg is a contributor to This Recording. This is her first appearance in these pages. She is a writer living in Atlanta. You can find her website here.
Photographs by the author.
"These Streets Will Never Look The Same" - Chromatics (mp3)
"Lady" - Chromatics (mp3)


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- U.S. Release Date - November 7, 2014
- Tagline(s)
- Mankind was born on Earth. It was never meant to die here
- The end of Earth will not be the end of us
- Go further
- Mankind's next step will be our greatest
- Summary - A team of explorers travel through a wormhole in an attempt to find a potentially habitable planet that will sustain humanity.
- IMDb Profile
- Wikipedia
- Rotten Tomatoes - 74%
- Do not go gentle into that good night - Dylan Thomas
- Let's use these big rockets for our secret space program.
- Data didnt need an emotion chip. He needed a humor chip.
- Custom parameters because Hal 9000 had a security clearance conflict of interest.
- Elysium was actually prison time for Dr. Mann
- Because Incept Station doesn't quite roll off the tongue.
- Gravity is the key to ESP
- Reel Score - 100%
- Positive(s)
- Reasonable space terminology/jargon
- Combines Gravity and 2001 A Space Odyssey
- Cinematic explanation of Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas
- Negative(s)
- Little explanation for the robot droids
Support Geek I/O on Patreon!
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Suspected militants on Saturday carried out an attack on the police deployed in south Kashmir's Pulwama district which left one police constable injured.
According to reports, a constable was fired at from point blank range by some unidentified men at Kakpora in Pulwama district.
The constable was identified as Javiad Iqbal of 18 Bn IRP.
The police later cordoned the entire area and search operation has been launched to nab the militants.
The Inspector General of Police (IGP) A.G. Mir said someone with the pistol fired at one of the constables deployed at Kakpora in Pulwama.
The constable was injured in the leg.
"He is stable and admitted in the hospital," Mir said.


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Browser Wars II: An Uneasy Peace
Last year's Browser Wars panel wasn't very well attended, considering the subject matter (maybe it was the 10 am start time). But the powers that be have moved the panel to the afternoon, kept the same cast of characters, and this year's Part II of the panel has a capacity crowd. And, as it was last year, it's the best SXSW panel I've seen this year.
The panel is moderated by system architect Arun Ranganathan (formerly of AOL), and the panelists are:
Chris Wilson, Microsoft Platform Architect (worked on every version of IE that you've used)
Brendan Eich, Firefox CTO (and inventor of JavaScript)
Charles McCathieNevile, Opera Chief of Standards
Make sure you check out the actual video of the panel when it's available later this week. This was a panel of smart men talking very quickly. There's a lot of parsing and holes in this rough transcript, and some important stuff left out (including a good audience Q&A at the end), so find the video for the full story.
Arun: There is one bias issue that we can't help, and that is that Apple won't send anyone to play with us. Everyone here has a MacBook and an iPhone, people here are using Safari, but Apple's corporate culture is such that Apple complies with Web standards but they won't participate in this panel.
Brendan: [to audience] It seems like the "war" hype worked...is that why you're all here? Because I'm here in the cause of peace.
Read the rest of this post at AppScout: "Browser Wars II: An Uneasy Peace"


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As a launch title for PSVR, Job Simulator was a bit of a strange one to get my head around. On the one hand I wanted anything and everything to try out the new tech, on the other I didn't want to spend my downtime pretending I was back in the office. Holding off for 4 weeks, I eventually caved after playing the demo for the umpteenth time and bought Owlchemy Labs interesting take on what's going to happen when our robot overlords take control. Was it worth taking the extra step and learning some new employment skills in my living room?
Job Simulator is the first title that I've had to really push for space to operate the PSVR in, it needs at least 7 feet from the camera to the play area, and a decent amount of space for you to reach all around with the Move controllers (essential here) – so just backing up against a wall isn't going to cut it. After a quick shuffle of furniture the requisite space was created and it was job time. Set in 2050, the world is run by floating CRT monitors hell bent on providing the squishy human population with a view of what life used to be like before they were subjugated by the PC master race. You're visiting a museum that lets you choose from Office Worker, Gourmet Chef, Store Clerk or Car Mechanic roles and experience what it's like to do that job… or at least what the weird interpretation from the robots is. You might have guessed that this isn't a serious game, and after spending time wading through gaming and movie references which seem to be how most of the jobs are "remembered", you'll not be feeling serious either.
Select a job and jump into an interactive environment where virtually everything around you can be manipulated and messed with, most of the time for no reason at all. As each job progresses you're told what to do by your levitating boss and you move on if you complete the task successfully. There's no failure state, so if you want to spend hours throwing books at the robots floating around the office, have at it! This is both the joy and the curse of Job Simulator. With so much freedom to use your disembodied hands to fidget with and tinker, you expect some slightly more challenging tasks to come your way, and whilst they'll put a smile on your face they really don't last long at all. It's almost as if the developers have understood the fundamental aspect of work – you have to do the mundane stuff to get the rewards, but any opportunity to dick around with the gadgets should be taken up when no one's looking.
Each of the jobs is very different, and crucially, so are each of the environments. Effective use of space is the key to the construction of the workplaces because it allows the maximum amount of variety. In the office it's pretty much just a cubicle with a computer, coffee machine and printer to contend with; any ancillary kit arrives at your desk when needed. For all the others you find dials and switches that rotate and transform the counters and cupboards into multifunctional items. Pantries swap for fridges, tyres slide away to reveal batteries, or sinks disappear to come back as microwaves. It's a lovely piece of design that recognises that you need a lot of tools because you are fixed in place, and by hiding away what's not in use, there's the opportunity to keep everything at a decent size for handling. Collision detection is pretty good, especially when you realise you can just knock doors closed instead of fiddling with grabbing the handle; and the hand tracking is excellent as long as you're not reaching behind you and blocking the controller light from the camera. If you can see it and reach it, you can interact with it seems to be the rule.
What Job Simulator focusses on is ease of operation with a simple style that compliments the capabilities of the tech, and it all comes together to provide a really smooth VR experience that genuinely delights when you inhabit the world. More than any other title so far I've felt immersed in what I was doing, to a degree that I almost expected to feel weight and feedback from the objects being handled. It's not overly long, there's not much replay value once you've completed each level, and it's on the pricey side as well given the length, but it's a great conceptual showcase with a huge amount of humour and style and should been an essential part of anyone's induction to what VR is all about.
Job Simulator is out now on PS4 and PC.
The Verdict
Latest posts by Matt (see all)
- July 2019 Codec Momentum Update – August 13, 2019
- Passing Judgment – July 23, 2019
- Co-Op Gaming – July 16, 2019


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City of Cagayan de Oro
Cagayan de Oro City (CDO) is the capital city of Misamis Oriental and the gateway to Northern Mindanao. It is the largest city and the regional center in Northern Mindanao occupying 412 sq. km. It has a population of 602, 088, which one of the largest in Mindanao. Currently, the city is led by Mayor Oscar Moreno. The City gained its popularity as a tourist site, particularly for its white water rafting. Unfortunately, the city also suffered during typhoon Sendong where landslides and flooding, complicated by slow government response, caused a significant number of deaths and displacement
The City's economy is largely based on industry, commerce, trade, services, and tourism. The now partly operational Laguidingan International Airport is a great boost to the city, opening its doors further to international tourism.
Contact us for more info
Mr. Tim Salera


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Saving Files
RGB vs CMYK? Rasterize vs Vectorize?
"I just want to paint!" you may say.
We get it.
RGB vs cmyk
RGB = Web
CMYK = Printed Materials
rasterize vs vectorize
Everything you interact with was designed and decorated by someone. It is a real job.
do I need to go to college?
You should get an education and learn your foundations. College and the alternative can offer great opportunities, but its entirely up to you to control your education.


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Feelings Are Always Local (Paperback) by Arjun Appadurai (Author), Joke Brouwer (Author), Mike Davis (Author), Alexander Galloway (Author), Tijs Goldschmidt (Author), Christopher Kelty (Author), Karim Nader (Author), Loretta Napoleoni (Author), Christa Sommerer (Author), Gijs van Oenen (Author), Arjen Mulder (Author) Amazon.com Editorial Reviews
Book Description: Interactive art organizes itself as an open system: it preserves its coherence by exchanging matter, energy, and information with the environment. In that manner, interactive art is art whose state of rest must be disturbed before it can become art at all. Yet, it is precisely this instability makes it ever more complex. Feelings are Always Local is published on the occasion of DEAF04, the Dutch Electronic Arts Festival, which focuses on interactivity as open system and interactivity in open systems. It features projects with a social and political slant, as well as projects that have a technological or biological character. Included as well are essays, interviews, and projects by DEAF04 international theorists and artists. Amazon.com


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I had a Zen moment during my Kelowna Art Gallery painting class this week. It surprised and discomfited me just a little bit.
You see, one of my challenges as a would-be artist seems to be generosity. With the paint, I mean. My teacher, artist Megan Bernard, gives us these inspiring demonstrations of things we can do with our acrylic paint. Mixed with matte medium the paint becomes thick and stiff, adding wonderful texture with ridges and dips, peaks and valleys. A wash of contrasting colour, added after it dries, ups the interest factor even more.
But I just can't seem to do it. I want, I try, I fail.
You'd think something like this would be as easy to fix as slopping more paint on the canvas and stirring it round. But really it's more psychological than that and I think I've sussed out the problem. It's either a) I am inherently stingy and/or b) I am afraid to commit. I don't want to waste significant amounts of paint or medium, and so I measure out my paint in careful, small amounts. When the time comes to slather it across the canvas, there is only, at best, just enough. Exactly the right amount to spread thinly over the space. No extravagant bumps or wanton ridges.
Practical? Yes. Creative? Hardly. And it smacks just a little too much of J. Alfred Prufrock for my comfort.
Could it be, I asked myself, that acrylic paint is a metaphor for my passion? Measured out in dribs and drabs, making it stretch, not wanting to waste it on the wrong effort?
Did I stop living passionately? Have I ever? Or have I just so admired the passion of others that I convinced myself that I, too, was just like them – in the same way that I see the work of artists who work their medium so beautifully that I am certain I would paint just like that if only I… umm… could paint.
"Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.
I do not think that they will sing to me," says J. Alfred.
I don't know if forcing myself to slather paint unsparingly across a canvas will up the quality of my life significantly. But I love how devoting those three hours a week to learning about it has opened a space for me to think about it, removed from the myriad distractions of children, work and life.
So. While learning how to transfer images onto paint (wildly exciting potential there) or make pseudo encaustics – like we learned this week – certainly make the class interesting, informative and well worth taking, this opportunity to reflect on things, while exercising the creative muscle, just might be the most valuable thing I take from it all.
– Words and photos by Lori-Anne Poirier
Complete Story:
Channelling the Painter Within – Lesson I
Channelling the Painter Within – Lesson II
Channelling the Painter Within – Lesson III
Channelling the Painter Within – Lesson IV
Channelling the Painter Within – Lesson V
Channelling the Painter Within – Lesson VI


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Agribusiness & Crop Insurance
Your Agribusiness Insurance Specialists
Running a farm brings great rewards…and involves great risks as well. PDM Insurance has a passion for protecting farmers. We understand that the business of farming isn't simply a livelihood…it's a way of life. Having been raised on a farm, PDM President Rita McMullen knows firsthand how committed farmers are to protecting their way of life, and she's just as committed in partnering with them to provide coverage that keeps farmers strong.
Coverage designed with YOUR farm in mind
While many things might be the same from farm to farm, each farm faces individual risks that must be considered. PDM Insurance offers farmer's comprehensive coverage for buildings, horses, crops and so much more for farms throughout Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia and Delaware. Our specialty is working with each farm owners to take a good look at your operation, assess the risk properly and provide the protection you need in the most cost-effective manner possible.
Agribusiness insurance can include protection for, but is NOT limited to:
- Rental reimbursement on farm machinery and equipment
- Equipment breakdown coverage
- Farm and Commercial General Liability
- Farm and/or Commercial Autos, as well as non-owned or hired autos
- Coverage for Mills and Grain elevators
- Specialized Crop Coverage
- Coverage for Livestock operations
- Equine areas
- Equine Mortality & Major Medical
- Farm Buildings
- Various Liability Exposures
- Farm and Ranch Liability Umbrella
- …and so much more
Talk to Rita McMullen, Jess McMullen or Deena Houp at PDM Insurance for all your Agribusiness insurance needs today!