text:
Monday, December 29, 2008
A Quick Break from Helo Hiatus...
Anyway. We went to the regional "Cinders" Mass as usual, due to the Beloved's Sunday 7-3 stint. The Athlete called shortly after we returned home, chipper and chatty when I answered, and asked me how Mass went (don't ask me why, I just cracked up at the question). I reassured him that it was just fine, and we actually had a rarely-bestowed VERY GOOD homily about the Holy Family as well as the vocations of married life and parenting from conception to death. Thinking that I was boring him, I handed the phone over to the Cheerleader, and apparently the Church conversation continued. Somewhere around the 45-minute mark, the Cheerleader shoved the phone back into my hand and said "someone" had questions and wanted to talk to me.
What ensued was a 30 minute Q&A session regarding the Athlete's reservations about Catholicism and his potential for final conversion - as has been revealed in previous posts and comments, the kid's got a lapsed Catholic Dad, a strident Methodist Mom, and most damningly of all, perhaps, a DOR "Catholic" school education. No wonder he's confused!
He started out by declaring himself as a "waiting until marriage" (good to know!), politically/morally conservative, ardently pro-life and faith-centered kinda guy. (I had gleaned as much by observation over the past few years, but it was good of him to confirm these things). The main points of Capital Letter Contention: Purgatory (got the good lifetime Protestant Bible-camp goer's "I've read the Bible from cover to cover several times and it's not in there" spiel), Confession (as a Sacrament as opposed to a privately-conducted conversation with Christ at one's own convenience), Gay "Marriage" (between non-Catholics, anyway), Abortion (he has 3rd party concerns about the issues facing rape victims and life-threatening conditions for mothers), and barrier-method Birth Control for married people who wish to use it.
Whew! (I'm gearing up for Transubstatiation and the Immaculate Conception of the Theotokos next...)
So, I did my level best at teen-oriented impromptu apologetics. (The Beloved was nearby and high-fived me for a few clever, well-placed sports analogies.) I had much more to say, but kept it brief. I think I clarified a lot for him and made some forward progress - he thanked me profusely and said he understood many things much better now, and had a lot more to think about. As do I.
Helo Mom is taken aback by the sudden, out-of-the blueness of the questions, flattered to be the one he's chosen to ask, and feeling a great deal of responsibility for providing fruit-producing answers to these questions. I wish we had a solid young priest - locally - to whom I could entrust this nice boy and his questions for far better answers and lived-by-example formation than I can possibly provide him. Regardless of this kid's present or future association with our family, I sense that he's seeking out information and answers that will shape the rest of his life and how he lives it.
Helo Mom is feeling the gravity of this assignment. How to guide without overwhelming with too much information? Would a 17-1/2 year old follow through with book recommendations? Probably not. So...what's a Helo Mom to do?
(Calling on wouldn't-it-be-ideal-future-Bp. Richtsteig of Rochester...)
In the meantime, all prayers and positive thoughts for this good young man, his soul, and the wisdom of his chosen answer-bearer would be appreciated.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Joy to the Wii (v. 2 & 3)
The Baby's thrilled
I hope he won't be killed!
He loves to play with ba-ad things
Electric sho-ocks really sting
I'll need another gate,
To keep him from the bait
He'll be cra-a-zed, cra-a-zed
* Snaps to the Midshipman, Beloved's Naval Academy cousin who popped by for dessert, for getting us wired for Wii and the new wireless home theatre system in less than 15 minutes!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Joy to the Wii!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Especially For The Much-Missed Ma Beck...
For all parishes like SJC that treat and present the Faith with beauty, honor and reverence...thank you, God bless you, Merry Christmas...wish you were here.
My favorite quote from St. John of Kanty (and one I need to remember and put into practice myself):
Fight all error, but do it with good humor, patience, kindness, and love. Harshness will damage your own soul and spoil the best cause.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Winter Solstice Celebration: Come and celebrate this very special night with hot chocolate & cookies at a beautiful ceremony at the [Parish] labyrinth TODAY, Sunday, December 21st at 7:00 p.m.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Helo Mom Dispatch #12 - Christmas at the Hangar
Snow day yesterday - no school - and an extra day of Christmas vacation. Woo hoo! The Athlete came over in the early afternoon to watch as we baked cookies and to exchange gifts with the Cheerleader. She bought him a tie with his favorite NFL team's logo (for school uniform use) and made him an ornament to commemorate the excellent state semi-final football season of 2008. He gave her perfumed lotion to go along with her daily scent...wait for it...."Princess." Both were pleased, and I believe there may even have been a quick mistletoe incident while I was in the kitchen between cookie batches, and they were running interference for me with the baby.
They sat on the couch talking and laughing for several hours while I baked, covering topics ranging from sports to doll collecting, and she schooled him in the finer techniques of driving a cat crazy with a laser pointer and a pinch or two of catnip. All in all, they had a great afternoon together.
Then....disaster struck. He left later on in the evening and then called her immediately after he got home to let her know he'd just gotten his first college acceptance letter. She was thrilled and congratulated him...and then I watched the realization hit her.
Now it's getting too "real" - the age issue is back to the forefront.
She sat down slowly, became quiet and rather pale, and they talked for an hour, during which time she assured him that he was free to date other girls his own age whether now or when he leaves for college, she would not expect him to wait or remain tied to our little north of nowhere town simply because of her. He would hear none of it, assuring her that was a bridge they could cross later, and they should just enjoy the present together and sort the rest when the time comes.
Seems that now she's finally starting to feel attached, the thought of detaching is too much to bear. And she has a valid point.
They will both have plenty of time to ponder these issues - he is leaving to spend a week with the family in warmer climes, while we have a houseful of nieces and nephews coming in to ski by day and hit the local wineries by night. I will be purchasing extra chocolates and pocket kleenex packs for the Royal stocking today. I think we're gonna need ample supplies of both.
So...will there be a Happy New Year for our young crush-birds? Or will the Helo Mom be hanging it up for awhile?
Stay tuned, my friends....
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Belated tribute - St. Lucy
Holy smokes. After what we're calling the "Cosmetic 9-1-1 incident" and ER visit a week or so ago, I thought I'd hit my quota for random ocular trauma for, say, at least a decade.
Not so!
Today we went in for our 6 month dental visits. As I received praise for yet another cavity-free year during my cleaning, disaster struck. A huge chunk of nasty abrasive dental polish flew off the spinny-polisher-thingy and shot straight up and under my upper eyelid in the (now formerly) good eye.
It was horrible...my second scratched cornea - minty fresh exfoliation in this instance - in as many weeks. Fortunately, I still had plenty of antibiotic eyedrops and rinse left, so I decided to self-treat and forego another ER visit. Why? Vanity, thy name is Kit.
As it turns out, the local ER Chief doc is a fellow quasi-Catholic high school parent who treated me at the ER after the Boy-meets-Mamma's-mascara-wand episode, and with whom I've struck up a nice little chatting-at-basketball-games acquaintance. He has kindly asked after my visual health at each of the games since, and he, his lovely wife, and I have discussed their various boy teenager issues and my Cheerleader teenager issues. Somehow I am not sure a second eye-related trauma in as many weeks would seem entirely coincidental...although those who know me well would laugh and say it's par for the course! I don't want to become known to them as the creepy "Eye Lady" who frequents the ER between basketball games with yet another bizarre eye injury. To be safe, I did chat with my lady doc buddy (after she got done laughing at me) and she assured me I'd survive, so long as the pain did not increase, etc.
What am I supposed to be learning from this, dear Lord?!?
St. Lucy was an early Christian martyr historically believed to have been tortured, burned, and blinded before being murdered courtesy of Diocletian. There is a lovely Scandanavian tradition wherein a young girl is selected to dress as St. Lucia, wearing a headdress of pine and candles to symbolize the fire that did not immediately kill her, and to bring light to conquer darkness. She also brings candy, saffron or anise-flavored coffee-cakes and presents to the little kids. Her feast day was December 13th, the day we had three major school events to attend from 9 am to after 11 pm, or I'd've mentioned her sooner - I love the traditions associated with her feast day.
Maybe this is her gentle way of reminding me...
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Helo Mom Dispatch #11 - Silver & Gold
The Athlete rejoined the school band a few weeks ago in order to have a mutual class with the Princess. (Say it: "Awwwwwww!!!!"). The band director is thrilled.
So at their Christmas concert last night, I sat halfway back in the auditorium watching the two of them perform, but more importantly, I observed them in some of the unscripted moments. As they entered and exited the stage, he followed a few steps behind her, towering over her as he does by more than a foot, and gazing down at her as though she's the most exquisite creature he's ever beheld. The kid's heart is on his sleeve and in his eyes. As they stepped on and off the dais and the stairs, he with his rumpled shirt and hands in his pockets, she in her smart little black and white outfit and strappy heels, he instinctively reached an arm out behind her, just in case, ready to catch her if she stumbled. All unconsciously done on his part, and therein was its beauty. She had no clue about any of it - she could not see the expression on his face and he never touched her back, but I can tell you, it was heartachingly adorable for the Helo Mom to see, even from a fair distance. The young man is a natural - he's a gentleman. And he is beyond smitten.
She is slowly warming up to the idea of having him around in a more "official" capacity. By the time we got home, it was far too late for their typical hour-plus evening chat. This morning she came down to breakfast and said "You know, it's just not right when I don't get to talk to him before bedtime. I didn't sleep well at all." Hmmmm....the polar ice cap may be melting....
Today's dirt:
I am a traitor. The Athlete sent me an urgent text [translated here by me from "txt-eze" to normal English for your convenience]:
Hey, it's me, [Athlete]. I know I probably shouldn't ask you this, but can you please, please help me? Just between you & me, I don't know what to get the green-eyed one for Christmas. I'm desperate. I want to get her something she will really like but I have no clue what to do. Please?!?
Well, what's a soft-hearted Helo Mom to do? As it happened, I was at the mall shopping whilst the Cheerleader & squad rang bells for the Salvation Army. I texted back my 30 pieces of silver:
Of course I will help you. What are you thinking of so far?
His first idea was to get her football memorabilia for her favorite team, my Chicago Bears. Very y-chromosome of him. (Can you blame me for breaking the chick code and agreeing to help him?) So I gently texted back:
Well....that may be too "sporty" for someone so GIRLY. What else can you think of that interests her, but that you like? I'm at the mall for another hour and can scope stuff out for you while she's doing the bell thing.
[Long pause] Then he replied:
You ROCK! I just got home from practice. I'll wash up and meet you there in 20 minutes.
So he appeared in record time, visited with all the Cheerleaders (who catcalled at him and teased him terribly about being at the mall when his little friend happened to be working her bell-ringing shift), looked assessingly and then menacingly at a few creepy old guys who donated money and tried to engage the Cheerleaders in more than a few seconds of idle conversation. He then "accidentally" ran into me at a department store, where we struck gold and found an excellent item the Princess will love, and which also coincides with one of the Beloved's three motivational agenda items vis a vis lovestruck 17 year old boys - it smells good. He had a second item in mind (from their movie date) and I gave it the thumbs-up, so he loped off toward the bookstore after they said their goodbyes.
As the Princess and I left the mall, I received the following:
Thanks Mrs. [Kit]!!! U R AMAZIN'!!!
(Well, what can I say....the lad's got a point....)
Backatcha, kiddo. See you this weekend.
We've invited him over to participate in our annual manic Christmas cookie making/decorating extravaganza this weekend, during which time we will somehow manage to leave them to their own devices by the Christmas tree for a few minutes so they can exchange gifts in a less conspicuous place than the school hallway. The Beloved has grudgingly agreed to have him over for a few hours, but I think he may require sedation. Gonna have to spike the 'nog.
Helo Mom is feeling a little more cheery as the week approaches its end.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
There Is No Rose Of Such Virtue
One of my favorite carols comes from the time of the last "Good" King Henry of England, Henry VII:
There Is No Rose Of Such Virtue
English Traditional, c. 1420
1. There is no rose of such virtue,
2. For in this rose contained was
3. By that rose we may well see,
4. The angels sungen the shepherds to:
5. Leave we all this worldly mirth,
6. Alleluia, res miranda,
Monday, December 15, 2008
Are we there yet?
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Blog Holiday Potluck II - C'mon, there's still time!
Friday, December 12, 2008
Christmas in the Red Zone
The fact that I am in my ragey place in connection with Christmas seems sacrilegious. We are waiting for the Light of the World to arrive on the Feast of the Incarnation. Are there any brave priests or Bishops in Napoli who can stand up and protest this sickness?
I can't imagine that any Catholic of good conscience (not to mention taste) could possibly think this is a good idea, or that any amount of money is worth displaying this travesty in their stores. Not when your soul is at stake.
Why, after all this time, am I still capable of being shocked at the depravity of human nature....
Helo Mom Dispatch #10 - Friday Night Roundup
The boy finally got annoyed with her! (It's about time!)
After the Wednesday night ex-girlfriend debacle, my child texted to him:
Ummm....we need 2 talk 2mrw. Going 2 sleep, ttyl.
Well, as one might well imagine, the poor boy slept little, wondering what he'd done now. After all, he'd just put the ex-girlfriend in her place. "2mrw" came, but the little minx chickened out and avoided talking to him all day. Unbeknownst to the Princess, one of her "friends" texted to him after school, advising him that she was mad, didn't want to talk to him ever again, and to stay away from her from now on. (Never was on the Princess' agenda to go that far, so when the girl called to brag about what she'd done, the world ended once again). He got the message on his way to a wrestling match and was understandably hurt and angry. He crushed his opponents to the mat, however, and after he was done, sent a terse text:
I won my match. Ur friends r talkin' crap fyi. 'nite.
After several frantic unanswered return texts from a horrified Princess, he finally relented and called her back. 45 minutes of tearful apologies and repeated acceptances later, they each went to bed late, but slept better than the night before.
Yesterday, as a peace offering, the well-meaning Athlete came to the Princess bearing gifts. A project he made in his art class. A ceramic self-portrait. [I know, I know!!!]
He delivered it to her at her locker, asked if she liked it...and she (being my child) had to ask if it was "supposed to be him." He hung his head and showed her the note on the back apologizing for his lack of artistic ability, then ambled off to his next class.
She very gamely managed to make it to her next class before breaking into hysterics - half giggling, half weeping. "Mamma...it was so cute, but SO odd...all the kids in his art class knew he made it, so half of 'em are laughing, and the other half is offering to put me in a witness protection program."
[What came to mind for me: "It took me like 3 hours to finish the shading on your upper lip...." and "There's a lot more where this came from if you go to the dance with me...Yours Truly, Napoleon Dynamite" LOL!!!!]
But I digress. All is now well. I think. They're at the Youth Court Christmas party, so I am preparing for anything when I go to pick her up. Will it be Sweetness & Light, or Histrionics? Who friggin' knows.
In other news:
- The dress is here! It's a bit more wine-colored than the holly-berry red as pictured, but it's lovely - it came beautifully boxed with perfume samples and a thank you note. It is now wrapped and hidden.
- Advice was dispensed, appreciated, but will not be followed. Still worried. about my George Bailey-esque buddy.
- Eye is almost back to normal. Not something I want to have happen again...gotta get a higher gate to keep that boy out of the female inner sanctum (he appeared out of nowhere, I jumped mid-swipe, OUCH!)
- We got clobbered by a foot of snow overnight and the kids had a snow day. The Beloved was at work for 19 hours ensuring the safety of travelers, appeasing the FAA, and riding herd over his minions on less than 2 hrs. of sleep, courtesy of the Boy's new bicuspid. More snow is coming tonight, and so he's gone again. But he will be at the wrestling match tomorrow. Apparently this is important enough to forego sleep...gotta make sure the Athlete can take down any would-be predators that might come near the Princess.
Progress indeed. Helo Mom is having tea and chocolates, then taking a long winter's nap...somehow I feel I will need my strength tomorrow.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Helo Mom Dispatch #9 - Mom Needs A Chiropractor
The Beloved remains steadfast in his disapproval. However, he did "bend" a little and indicated that he'd be interested to see the Athlete in action at the next wrestling match (at 6'5"/189 lbs. it must be quite a spectacle), and wanted to know when that might be.
WHOA! That's progress!
The Cheerleading Princess is horrified at the thought, because she is leaning toward putting the kibosh on the whole non-relationship.
The small-town, even smaller-school rumor mill has suddenly been set ablaze, and the two of them are at the center of it. One of the Athlete's former upperclassman girlfriends is spreading vicious rumors about the "easy" freshman and the "desperate" senior. A fellow freshman girl who has a senior interested in her stated loudly at the lunch table that she'd never even consider dating a senior, "unlike some people." Her cheerleader friends are teasing her more than ever - there's a lot of dating crossover between the Athlete's friends and the cheerleading squad, as one might imagine. A teacher has asked even her about it, and volunteered to intercede and help her break things off if she'd like assistance because she's feeling "pressured" by an older boy.
After being targeted by that pack of mean girls for over a year now, the Princess goes into meltdown mode whenever she discovers that people are talking about her behind her back - she was in tears most of the evening. "I just wanted a new start in high school! I wanted to be invisible! I don't want people I don't know and who don't know me gossipping about me!" The usual platitudes about jealous girls, immature teenagers, high school drama starting and ending quickly, and being the bigger person don't work. She's extremely sensitive, and not without some justification given what she's been through. It's such a shame to see something that has been sweet and innocent turned ugly, and a kid turning away from the good to protect herself from the bad.
The odd thing is, nothing's changed between the two of them and they haven't seen each other outside of school since the infamous night at the movies. He has made no secret of his admiration for her, but has also told his friends that although they talk quite a bit, they are NOT dating due to the age issue and parental interdict. Why all hell broke loose on an otherwise average Wednesday remains a mystery.
So, will their association survive the scandal....or will they part ways?
Stay tuned....
Helo Mom out.
More Implausible Deniability
The outgoing junior senator from Illinois had no contact with the governor who would appoint his successor?
Kinda like sitting in a pew for 20 years and having no idea what your racist hate-mongering pastor was saying all that time.
How stupid does he think us gun-clinging religious types are?
I wonder if [suddenly] "mistaken" David Axelrod - the top aide who discussed the [now-denied] contact between The One and Blagojevich's office on the air a few weeks ago - will keep his job...or conveniently go the way of Vince Foster at some point.
Harsh of me to say? Perhaps.
Jailtime will tell.
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Not a prayer request I wanted to make...
Too verklempt to continue.
So You Wanna Be A Senator?
Sheesh. That's two criminally corrupt Democratic Governors ousted in one year...my home state of NY and now my native state of IL...the political springboard of The One, carpetbagger extraordinaire.
Coincidence? I think not.
Monday, December 8, 2008
Please - prayers for my friend...
He has a lovely wife, a successful firm in only 2 years since start-up, a boundlessly generous heart...but then suddenly the market's tanked, it's Christmastime, work's busy, he has 3 kids aged 4 and under, he's not sleeping...he's severely, George Bailey depressed. He has a wonderful life, really, but like many people who suffer from depressive disorders, he doesn't see it.
I'm very worried. All of my standard rallying tactics have failed, and that's saying something. I will be having a heart to heart with him tomorrow and will not rest until he seeks outside assistance.
Please keep my friend in your prayers, and wish meddlesome me luck.
St. Dymphna, pray for us!
Amazing Cover....
I'll always have my little '80's tender spot for Hall & Oates, but Brian McKnight just NAILS this song! (Apparently, H&O gave him high marks for this rendition as well).
Back to my break - the eyes have had it....and I've gotta get to Mass!
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The Pictures Will Do The Math AND Tell The Story!
So went my evening last night.
Yes, that may have been my voice you heard crying out in the wilderness....but I toughed it out long enough to get through the firm Christmas party (open bar, duh!) before heading to the hospital on the advice of a fellow lawyer's physician wife.
Blogging will be a bit light for a few days, but do enjoy your second week of Advent!
Helo Mom Dispatch #8 - Heavenward
She showed me the following text [I have supplied full words for the txt-challenged like me...]:
I know it will take time for you to trust me, and for you to know that my intentions toward you are pure and honorable. But for now, know that I pray each day for your trust, and by God, if I get it, I will make sure never to lose it or cause you to regret it.
[Take THAT, o jaded Beloved!]
I'm saving that exchange for posterity....or perhaps as evidence....on my phone.
One more bit of cuteness - because he now has my cell number, he let me know that my personal ringtone is Queen Latifah - "When You're Good to Mama" - from Chicago.
If Mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...
The Female Essence Factor
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Kudos to Lord & Taylor
Our Princess has found THE DRESS for the dance she has not yet been invited to. ("I know it's a while off, and I don't care if he doesn't ask me... maybe someone else will, or maybe I'll just go with my other dateless loser friends, but I am GOING to that dance!"). We found it at a late-night mall raid.
Sadly, our local Macy's didn't have it in her puny size (4), and at 9:55, it was too late to call around to other stores. So I went online last night. Gone. But the Macy's online shopper live-chat chicks gave me the names and numbers of several other stores in the NY/NJ/PA area that allegedly had it in stock. This morning I called 9 stores on the East Coast, and another 4 in Chicago. So....3.5 hours of effort. On hold for 30 minutes at a time in some instances. Got some major league attitude from a few of 'em, too. ("We have a doorbuster sale going on, we can't take time to go look for the dress for you, you'll have to come in like everybody else" --White Plains dress dept. clerk) Even after a few calls back from two well-meaning sales ladies in the midst of a huge in-store, one-day sale, NO LUCK.
So I google the darn thing. There it is on the Lord & Taylor website for $130...not on one-day sale for $90 like at Macy's, but that's academic at this point. Now it's a power struggle between me, the retail world, and the other skinny succubi in America who have snatched up all the 4's. I'm on a mission. So as you can imagine, I was thrilled to see it...
I clicked away to order it...
got the error message at checkout...
"item is out of stock"
I go back to the dress page, and sure enough...sizes 2,6,8,10,12,14 are all available. No 4.
[String of expletives]
I hear blood rushing around inside my skull. Calming breath. I got the L&T online chat chicks engaged in the struggle, but they can't find it in a 4 either. So they referred me to the "Personal Shopper Service" in NYC. I called, spoke to a lovely NooYawkuh named Clara, who took my name and number. 30 minutes later, she called and had me on 3-way with a local store, they took my credit card number, gave me a 30% off coupon before I could even ask for a total, and so all told, tax and shipping included, $109.
It's a tough year for retail (and everyone else), but after all the time I wasted on Macy's, it was simple, painless, incredibly professional and prompt service, and they went out of their way to make it easy and cheaper than it needed to be. They're getting a thank you letter from me, and if you have any reason to shop there, I say please do, and show them some support if you can. Certainly, if you're looking for an out of stock item, they ROCK.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Helo Mom Dispatch #7 - Breaking the Code
Athlete: Hi Mrs. [Kit], it's me, Athlete.
Me: Hello m'dear. Let me get your little friend.
Athlete: Thanks. Oh, can I tell you one thing first, though?
Me: Sure...
Athlete: Thanks so much for your help the other night. Not just for me, but for whatever you said to make her see the other side of things. You have no idea how much it means to me. Most parents wouldn't care, especially in this case, because I know you and Mr. [Beloved] aren't real happy with the age thing. But I just wanted you to know I really appreciate it, and I hope you and your husband know I will always protect your daughter at school or anywhere else, no matter what happens between us. If there were a coolest mom of the year award, I'd totally make sure you got it.
Me: [a little verklempt and red-faced] Awww....thanks kiddo. Now...make sure you don't blow it. [Laughing] I'll go get her.
I'm with you, Kasia - whoever ends up with this kid is gonna be a lucky girl!
Oh, one more tidbit - I sat with another cheer-mom at the basketball game last night (she has senior and sophomore cheerleader daughters), and she extolled the Athlete's virtues at length, having known him and his family for quite some time. Good to know.
Me: Hello?
Athlete: Hi Mrs. [Kit]. It's me, Athlete.
Me: Hello, Athlete...what have you done?
Athlete: I. Don't. Know. I was hoping you might be able to enlighten me.
Me: I only know part of it. She told the rest in a pitch only the dogs could understand. And they looked really scared. So you'd better tell me your side so I can piece it together.
[Their stories matched perfectly]
Athlete: She thinks I didn't stick up for her, but I really couldn't do what she wanted me to without looking biased. But if it's any consolation, those two [unkind word] girls got in huge trouble, and they were made to apologize to me today for interfering with my class project.
Me: Excellent. Explain it to her just as you did to me. Stand your ground and only apologize if you mean it, or she'll see right through it. If she's mean, kick her to the curb.
Athlete: WHAT?!? Oh, you're kidding. Okay. I'm really nervous now. She's gonna yell at me, isn't she?
Me: Remain calm. She'll listen.
(She did.)
During the 90 minute conversation, I get the following text:
Yes, I broke the code and gave him words of encouragement. But all is forgiven, she did not kill me, and they are back to normal.
Whatever that means.
One more thing. She just told me she wants to hit the after-holiday formal dress sales when we go to Chicago. Seems the "Snow Ball" is sometime at the end of January.
Hmmmm.....perhaps some vino before bed for the Helo Mom.
Helo Mom Dispatch #6 - Fatal Error?
Somewhere, someone's head is beating against a wall.
Today's drama:
The Senior Athlete had to student-teach a class as a project for one of his own classes. So he chose a class he was sure would be great. The Cheerleader's Freshman gym class.
She was stunned to see him there, suddenly "in charge" of her (oh, and the rest of the class, too). He thought it would be fun, AND he had a built-in excuse to spend 50 minutes of his day with his cute little not-quite-official-but-everyone-knows-it-girlfriend...with the added bonus of seeing her trot about in a gym uniform as opposed to the regular school uniform. What a great day! God is good!
Foolish, foolish move. When he selected teams for the class rather than allowing the class to divide itself up along its usual partisan lines, she was separated from her usual gym-team buddies and became bitter with him. Apparently her team usually wins - and he seemed to be testing her ability to deal with loss and adversity. He made the mistake of telling her so when she complained about it.
When he then did not officiate the game in her [team's] favor, she sassed him. He had to respond appropriately, and so he called her on her unsportsmanlike conduct...followed by a whispered plea that she not get angry, he was doing what he had to, and trying to get a good grade.
THEN....just when it couldn't have gotten much worse....her two chief adversaries/girl-tormentors came into the class (cutting their own regular class) because they'd gotten wind of what was going on and wanted to see for themselves, and to sneer at and heckle them both. The Princess whispered to him that they didn't belong in the class, and that he should send them on their way (she had a point), but he refused, not wanting to make a scene and fuel their fire (a valid counterpoint).
Another teacher happened by, espied and yanked the skanks, and sent them to the office. The Princess, being an irrationally outraged 14 year old at this point, took this as a direct personal insult...he did not defend her honor.
"HE should have done that! He could have asserted his authority as a teacher and gotten rid of them! He certainly asserted his authority over ME in front of everybody! I could've done a better job! I'd've SO kicked their a**es out of there, to HELL with the grade!!!" (Ouch! She was so furious, she started speaking in salty tongues!)
She cut him dead for the rest of the day.
There was no 2 hour phone call tonight.
There was no call at all.
Radio silence.
I did my best to be the voice of reason, I really did. I sympathized with her, but I also advocated for the poor boy and tried to get her to understand that there might possibly be some good reasons for what he did, and moreover, for what he did not do.
I got the trademark slitty little green eyes of rage in return, which were only slightly cured by a peace offering of a hot fudge sundae and tea. Then we snuggled together under a blankie for a few hours, saying very little while the phone didn't ring....
She knows she's a brat. She knows that petulance rarely plays well, and pays even less. And we all know she's only 14. Some allowances must be made. She'll get over it and she'll even laugh at herself about it...at some point. Hopefully he will, too.
Oh, that poor, poor boy.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Eating Raul
Maybe he'll announce the end to the embargo while picnicking on the beach with all of the newly-freed Gitmo detainess and the Castro brothers.
Wait! I know...they can call it a "Bay of Pigs Roast" and he can help light the fire to help them burn the past 8 American presidents in effigy.
Then he can head south on his American Downfall/New World Order Tour to hang out with his good buddy "Hurricane" Hugo Chavez.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Helo Mom's Head Hurts (Dispatch #5)
The Princess, much to her dismay, discovered at her annual eye exam early last week that one eye has gotten much worse (astigmatism) than the other. Hence, the contacts she assumed she'd be getting are not an option for her. She's mortified from the roots of her honey-blonde hair to her dainty little toes, but she did pick out some killer glasses (for classroom use only, Mom!). Apparently they discussed her ocular horror and shame at the movies.
The young gentleman figured she'd have the new glasses today, so in solidarity, he deliberately did NOT wear his own contacts and instead wore his "former 10th grade nerd" glasses to school so she'd have an optically-challenged buddy at her side in case anyone teased her. Of course, he discovered early in the day that she was still glasses-free and so his valor was all for naught. He didn't say a word to her about why he did it, but one of his friends pointed it out to her after school. I know I'm a major sap, but I thought it was a darling gesture, and so did she. So he's back in the game.
Two things:
1. That poor kid has it BAD.
2. I just want to bring him home and give him cookies, milk, and a hug. This is a good, thoughtful boy.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Constitutional Crisis?
Link to article here
As I've been screaming at the tv since the summer, just suck it up and produce the da*ned birth certificate if you've nothing to hide...and as the Harvard Law professor interviewed in the article points out, I'd fire his a** too, were he my client and still refused to do so.
H/T to the fabulous Vincenzo
And then there's this:
Link to "Open Letter to Barack Obama" from the Chicago Tribune - an ad taken out by "WeThePeopleFoundation.org"
The United States Supreme Court is meeting later this week to conference on one of the several cases demanding production of The One's original birth certificate for inspection and analysis. Four justices must recommend hearing the case. Oh to be a fly on THAT wall!
Love this quote at the end of the ad, too:
"In a government of laws, the existence of the government will be imperiled if it fails to observe the law scrupulously. Our government is the potent, the omnipresent teacher. For good or for ill, it teaches the whole people by its example. Crime is contagious. If the government becomes a
lawbreaker, it breeds contempt for law; it invites every man to become
a law unto himself; it invites anarchy ." Olmstead v. U.S., 277 U.S. 438
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Prayers for Mrs. Martin
Please pray for Dorothy, and for our dear Digi and family.
As we enter into Advent today, let this be a special time of hope and peace for your family, amiga, until you meet again.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Helo Mom Dispatch #4
The Cheerleader has told the Football Player (now Wrestler) once and for all that she is NOT READY for the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing.
I chaperoned for them at the movies (Twilight, and it really wasn't half bad, actually) from a few rows too far back, apparently - as an enthralled and opportunistic 17 year old kid does at the movies, he did the basic hand-holding maneuver (saw that, didn't care) and attempted the "sneaky kiss in the dark" bit (missed that one!).
She was having none of it - she's been waiting forever to see this movie and was visibly annoyed each time he whispered to her during the movie. I was trying hard not to laugh out loud or warn him off. Afterwards, I stood discreetly out of earshot while she told him he's moving too fast, she's not "there" yet, and hinted perhaps he should look for someone older who's more experienced than she is if he wants a make-out buddy, or worse. (Ouch!)
He was stunned, crushed, but not entirely dissuaded. He apologized profusely, hugged her goodbye, and told her again that he is content to stand by and "just talk" with her until she figures out what she wants to do re: the dating thing. She said she'd think about it, and bolted to the car. Two phone calls later, they've agreed to continue their daily chats about sports, cheerleading, youth court (he's a kid-judge, she's a kid-prosecutor), and take it from there.
All the while I've just wanted to shout: MOVE ON, KID! MOVE ON! Call her when you're 30!
Whatever the next hours/days/weeks entail, I do know one thing that should hold him off for a bit longer - she swore she'd never kiss anyone until her braces come off, so we're good to go until sometime in January, anyway!
This whole thing is keeping me up nights - of course I am pleased that she's keeping this strapping young lad at arms' length and making no bones about it with him, but on the other hand, I feel really bad for him. He's a popular kid and has plenty of other female options before him, but he's clearly smitten, despite all the teasing from his friends and hers about the age difference, and despite (or because of?) her aloof manner toward him. And make no mistake, my girl has a will of iron - flattery and persuasion will not win her over unless she's darn good and ready to be won. She does like the boy quite a bit - she is not trying to torment him, and is not keeping him at her beck and call simply because she can...she just doesn't want the PDA stuff. At all.
I don't know what will happen, but I do know one thing. It is not going to end well - someone's going to get their feelings hurt.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Black Friday Indeed
Wal-Mart worker killed in Black Friday stampede
Is a friggin' flatscreen or GPS for your car worth doing this to someone?
I have never, ever shopped on "Black Friday" because the display of unbridled greed, materialism, and sickness of the human condition and culture in this country is too much to bear.
Lord have mercy on us all.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Well, now I've done it...
(Remember my prayer request several weeks back?)
No, I have not lost my mind. I will continue to teach an evening class or two each semester, and will take on some "contract work" (i.e., research and drafting for other lawyers) here and there as needed and as may come my way.
My partner in crime and punishment at work is crushed but 100% behind me. Especially because not paying my salary just made his spike!
My mother is freaked. I am officially a "failure" (she equates six-figure incomes with personal success in her children) and apparently I have gone off the "Radical Conservative/Catholic Deep End."
My friends, many of whom thought I was nuts enough for having a baby at 39, are horrified. The last of them just returned to work, all have kids in school and none have kids as young as mine. It's like I've gone in reverse while they are moving forward. I've fallen off a lot of invite lists this past year.
My Beloved has his resolute face on - he will be picking up some of the slack and taking a new, more lucrative job.
My kids are thrilled, especially Little Therese. Since starting middle school this fall, she of the 99 overall average has been called "retarded" (because she gets a 15 minute Aspie respite in a special ed room each day), taught recreational drug vernacular, and propositioned for sex - twice now - in the hallways by 8th grade repeaters, and the special ed handling of her "Aspie social deficit" consists of twice-weekly sessions where she is told to tutor and speak to a severely learning-disabled, behaviorally challenged scatalogically-fixated boy, who she describes as a "human swear word dictionary."
I've had enough. She is too good and pure to be subjected to this crap. So I'm putting an end to it...and to a lot of things my career has allowed us to do, see, purchase, and experience.
Please keep our family in your prayers as we make the adjustment. This was a long, difficult decision making process.
Christ the King
My love of this particular feast day was solidified by the good Augustinian fathers in San Diego, who did it up right. They processed in with a crown of thorns, which was placed next to the altar on a red velvet pillow, wearing their most striking red vestments. A surprising majority of parishioners wore red, too, including our little family. The homily was always excellent, with a meditation on the four "end considerations," discussion of the juxtaposition of the cruel crown our King was forced to wear, displayed on the luxurient fabric of worldly kings, and a solemn reminder about the finality of Christ's mission in the flesh...and then a hint of the beginning coming after today's end, with Advent just around the corner. Outstanding stuff.
Thanks to Fr. Tony and Fr. Tom out there in North Park for solidifying the importance and beauty of this Feast in my mind and in my heart with their devotion to this day, their excellent homilies, and learned counsel. I miss everything about my former parish and hometown.
Sunday, November 23, 2008
And you thought I was kidding...
Sadly, our #6 team lost a tough game to the #1 team (which, incidentally, just dropped down one Class to our dinky-school division this past season). The Cheerleader was brave until we got to the car, and then she burst into tears because the season's over, and because she saw the stricken faces of all the boys as they walked off the field. It really was wretched.
Given the sharp decline in enrollment (there are 2 seniors for every freshman at the school) and the fact that they already had 9 players doing double duty on offense and defense, only 6 returning juniors and not enough kids to field a JV squad after a few got hurt or quit...well...saying "we'll be back next year" is hollow rhetoric indeed. The curtain is slowly descending on both the football program and the school. It is very sad.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Ahh Ahh Ahh...!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Helo Mom's Heartstrings Are Being Tugged
Better yet, he is being very gentlemanly and respectful of her timidity when it comes to the boyfriend-girlfriend thing, and has indicated that he is willing to wait as long as necessary until she is comfortable with him to renew his addresses. In the meantime, he has set down two rules:
1. Please don't die (i.e., while getting tossed about in the air during cheerleading practice) because someday, I plan to kiss you.
2. Please don't let any other boy but me be the first one to kiss you. That could result in such boy being a victim of Rule #1.
So far, she seems willing to abide by those rules. They will be going (separately) to the school play this weekend after the big game to watch various friends and teammates perform, and they plan to sit together. We shall see what transpires. I will be in a nearby row with the 11 y/o and perhaps a cattle prod or some pepper spray.
Ahhh, young love....or is it young like?
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Welcome, Rochesterians!
Welcome to you all, whether from your homes or from your offices on Buffalo Road or elsewhere. I hope you enjoy reading the opinions expressed here. I hope you learn something, whether you take it to heart or merely absorb what's said as a means of studying your opposition.
I also hope and fervently pray that I never have to read another local news item like this. Is it too much to ask all of you suddenly visiting Rochesterians to pray for our One Holy Catholic Apostolic Church, our priests, and their parishioners as well?
Monday, November 17, 2008
Someone's cranky....[edited]
All I can say is:
1. To "ElDoctorK": Suuuuhhhh-NAP!!!
2. To Rich: Thanks for all you do, and keep at it!
3. To the "Reverend":
a) Nice sweater and turtleneck. Makes quite a statement. Did you come up with the idea to do this video on your own? You don't have to answer that, on second thought.
b) I have lots of books at home too. How about giving some page, chapter, or code section citations to the texts you display that support your position. And hers. And his.
c) As one of "the others" you censure for expressing opinions contrary to yours and perhaps even those of the Bishop of Rochester (not to mention your poor misunderstood "good friend"), I can tell you that YES, I am a Christian. A Roman Catholic one at that (!) stuck in one of the worst-run, worst-reputed Dioceses in the Western Hemisphere. One who loves, reveres, and would like to practice the faith of my fathers without being subject to derision and labeled as an "extremist" for doing so by the Bishop and actual priests who work so hard to suppress and dilute the Faith in this Diocese. One who believes self-serving apostates masquerading as priests have zero authority to call out lay Catholics in full comminion with Rome for objecting to the liturgical abuses inflicted upon the people of St Anne's Church by a radical female activist wannabe priest and her sympathetic Bishop.
d) A video disavowing any support of married or womenpriests, lay homilists, liturgical puppetry, mimery, clowning, and/or dancing would be nice, too.
St. John Fisher, pray for us!
(P.S. Rich, not sure why you took the video down - I will maintain this link to youtube as long as the video remains "up" - anyone who wants to take a look at the video collection on youtube, have a gander at videos posted by "priestray" - have some Tums and/or Tylenol close by, though.)
Sunday, November 16, 2008
WONDERFUL news!!!!
Thank you Sts. Jude & Gerard for prayers answered.
Blog Holiday Potluck
I've posted a new favorite (and easy) pork roast recipe over at my Brookside Bistro blog, and I invite you all to click on over and add a favorite holiday recipe to the comments (you can do it here, too). I'll post them all individually with backlinks to your blog.
C'mon...it'll be fun! Or would you rather watch the news?
P.S. Guys, favorite beer brands don't count. Talk to your brides, your moms, your parishioners - they'll hook you up!
Biden's Disconnection
C'mon Bishops - man up and keep at it!
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Happy Blog-Day to me...
Thanks to all of you for stopping by over the past year - it's been equal parts of fun, thought-provoking, edifying, and a downright honor to meet so many good, like minded people from all over the country and around the world. Thanks for your many kindnesses, your advice, your opinions, and most of all, your prayers. You are all in mine.
You've made my little corner of nowhere a better place.
Friday, November 14, 2008
In honor of my 300th post:
Good luck to the Cheerleader's football team in their tiny school division State quarterfinals tomorrow. Sadly, I fear they may go the way of King Leonidas and his companions...
"Remember this day, men, for it will be yours for all time!"
I must say, the movie was a bit gory, but well worth watching just to see that handsome Gerard Butler running around, being brave, saying cool stuff, bleeding....mostly shirtless....
For the record, being quite content with my Beloved, I do not lust after Mr. Butler in my heart...but I wouldn't mind having him, say, come over and do some yardwork at my house on a warm summer day while I supervised from the patio...he could take breaks and chat with me in that cute Scots brogue and stuff. Yep, that would be fine. If he wanted to drop by to practice and maybe improve his shotput skills while wearing a kilt and undershirt, that would be lovely as well...I'd make him some oatmeal:
Hee hee hee!
I will make the last of my Scott's tomorrow at dawn before trekking off to somewhere outside of Syracuse to get the girl to the game. And her Football Player, who persists in his attentions despite her gentle rebuffs. I feel a little sorry for him.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
No communion for BO supporters
(Psssssst! Father! The DOR needs you!)
San Diego de Alcala
The Mission San Diego de Alcala is the oldest in California, founded by Bl. Junipero Serra in 1769. The site of the mission changed due to earthquakes and fire over the years, and it fell into disuse and ruin from shortly after the Civil War until the early 20th century.
After its restoration and renovation, the Sisters of Nazareth (from Ireland) began an orphanage and boarding school attached to the Mission. It is a beautiful site and a great school - my girls attended before the Beloved's retirement and our move to NY. Two years ago, the Sisters' decades-long tenure ended and Nazareth School was taken over by the Diocese.
If you're in the area and have an hour or two to tour gardens, check out the museum and attend Mass, it's a lovely place to spend a Sunday afternoon.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
A Break from Bitter
You Are Fozzie Bear
"Wocka! Wocka!"
You're the life of the party, and you love making people crack up.
If only your routine didn't always bomb!
You may find more groans than laughs, but you always keep the jokes coming.
And once again
Lord, have mercy.
The Jackals Are Out
Me, well, you won't find me within short-range missile distance of Obamagrad* on January 20th. I will be in NYC spending my money on other forms of theatre.
* All it takes is an Executive Order, friends....lol!
After yesterday's leaks to the press regarding The One's meeting with Bush, the stats saying that 72% of us believe The One can fix the economy, the re-emergence of Farrakhan and Wright to discuss The One, and the overall cockiness of The One and his entourage.....
[Excuse the interruption, primal scream event in progress]
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thank you
God bless you all.
It occurs to me that Veterans Day is enjoyed as a "day off" for more non-vets than for vets - think of our active, former, and retired service members, who now continue their service in civilian law enforcement, firefighting, and other jobs that keep us safe. Be sure to thank those you know, and maybe even those you don't, when you're enjoying a stroll at a park or hitting the sales at the mall.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Happy 233rd Birthday, Marines!
It all began at Tun Tavern:
The Establishment of the United States Marine Corps.
Evening dress (cool enough on your screen, but it transports you to a beautiful, bygone era to see these gorgeous uniforms on our proud, brave men and women in person!)
And at the bigger, on-base USMC Balls, the Band will play on!
The Marine Corps hymn - here
"All right, they're on our left, they're on our right, they're in front of us, they're behind us...they can't get away this time!"
Special Happy Birthday shout-out to our dear Cavey, his fellow Leatherneck Bloglodytes, and his House Sergeant Major, too!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Prop 8 Protests
Imagine this, only exponentially worse, had Obama lost. Apparently democracy is only fair and honorable if your agenda wins.
(Annoying self-starting video removed - link to KTLA here)
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Courting vs. Dating, Part 1
As many of you already know, the Beloved's got a neo-rad-trad contingent in his family that goes the "Cath-mish" route on everything from cloistering to clothing to courting. No unsupervised co-ed visitation, no touching, no impure thoughts allowed. (1)
That's a bit extreme and unwieldy for us. So is the common practice of my daughter's 14 year old peers being allowed to go out with any boy who asks, and/or to grab a sleeping bag and hop into cars full of slightly older kids whose driver's licenses are still warm from the laminator to head out to the post-football game bonfires....with beer and pot provided by the "cool" parents....to "hang out" with an older boy who invited them. No thanks. (2)
So the questions arise: how do you find a happy medium? And what's the difference between "courting" and "dating" anyway?
Here's my take:
Dating is what most of us did in high school - being asked out by/asking out your latest "crush" and heading out to movies, malls, school dances, parties, undisclosed parking areas (....!) without adult supervision, and peer attendance/participation becoming more and more optional as the dating couple progresses to full-on "going out" or exclusivity with one person. Not much has changed, except maybe that our kids are better versed in the various forms of VD (and institutionalized hands-on instruction in the importance of condom use to prevent it) than we were. (Ack!)
Courting is the "old fashioned" concept of a young man coming over in his best clothes, flowers in hand, to stay for dinner so he can see and spend time with the girl he's interested in, but just as importantly, the purpose is to meet the parents and extended family, befriend them, and to be considered as a potential future son in law. The couple is never unchaperoned or alone, and chastity of dress and behavior is expected at all times. No physical contact is considered - the point is to get to know the person, not to rate their comparative cup size or kissing prowess. The ultimate goal is selecting a future spouse. Courting, not surprisingly, is the preferred ritual among the very traditional, orthodox and/or the homeschooling set, for reasons that are self-evident.
From all that I've seen in person and from the reading I've done online and at home, I've extrapolated and would submit the following summary:
1. Dating celebrates the cultus of the body, while courting promotes the vocation, sacrament, and sanctity of marriage;
2. Dating emphasizes variety and quantity in discerning who the "ideal" mate is, while courting focuses on quality - the discernment of character before exploring physicality in a relationship; and
3. Dating puts control largely in the hands of the child, while courting emphasizes parental/family involvement.
There are good and bad points to both concepts, of course. On one side, yes, I want my daughters to meet and get to know any number of young men so they can develop their instincts about "good boys" and "bad boys" - who to avoid, and what qualities to look for in a young man who might one day be worthy of their time and attention. On the other, I'm not about to let them say yes to anyone who asks, or otherwise to engage in any activity that calls their good reputations into question.
As far as physicality goes, I think going to school dances, holding hands, and [low-impact] kissing are rites of passage in high school. Becoming a mother next summer after having too much fun at a football bonfire last fall, or being required to get Gardasil injections as a preemptive strike in your premarital sex life...not so much.
Unsupervised opportunities for physical contact and sexual activity in the dating context invites disaster. Period. But at the same time, completely excising the physicality from a budding relationship creates an artifice - not to mention encouraging your Juliet to sneak off with her Romeo - because physical attraction is an essential ingredient to a happy, healthy spiritual relationship with your marriage partner. Keeping that physicality in check, but not forbidding it outright...well there's the conundrum. (I was going to say "rub" but, well, let's not go there.) If someone can come up with a way to get those raging teen hormones under control, let me know - I'll help you get the patent if you can bottle it. I'm a mom looking for a miracle.
This brings up the next question: what is the parent's role in all of this?
As for that third prong of my summary, well, let's face it - my own experience has made me into the world's biggest hypocrite when it comes to the prospect of encouraging any child to live chastely and to imitate Christ - much less to follow my parental example. I have no grounds to lecture anyone. If I were my kid, I'd kill me! (3)
So I am not one to be doling out advice to my child on how to be modest and chaste in dating relationships - I never was, certainly - but I find the micromanagement of courting to be a bit oppressive, and its purpose premature at this stage of the game. At the same time, BECAUSE of the tender age involved in my case, I think supervision is absolutely necessary.
I want to know exactly who the boy is, what his interests are, who his family and friends are, because if there's anything or anyone questionable, as a parent it is my OBLIGATION to protect and educate my child about the occasion of sin and how to avoid it. And while I have absolutely no problem doing so, I don't want to do it in such a Draconian manner that my children cannot feel comfortable discussing things with me, try to hide information...or sneak off like I did!
CCC Section 1632 states:
"It is imperative to give suitable and timely instruction to young people, above all in the heart of their own families, about the dignity of married love, its role and its exercise, so that, having learned the value of chastity, they will be able at a suitable age to engage in honorable courtship and enter upon a marriage of their own."
[Emphasis mine]
So back to the main issue. The problem is walking the fine line between the two - dating vs courting - and that's what I'm dealing with when it comes to this senior boy and his crush on my freshman daughter. He seems to be instinctively following the courting route, changing his tactics once he realized that dating this younger girl was not an option. (See (2) below). He gets high marks for figuring this out on his own and for offering to forego the end-of-season blowout bonfire bash with his friends to come over and talk with a younger girl and her parents.
I just have to spend some time with him trying to discern whether his intentions are truly good, or if it's all for show. I also want to be there to promote the possibility of having fun and innocence within the relationship to try and avoid the inevitable drama and hurt feelings on either side. Wish me luck. I'll continue to post on this topic as I'm in the process of forming my own, better understanding along the way. Maybe I'll write a book and call it "How to Date in a Courtly Manner" (Hmmm...you read it here first, so let's call it a copyright) ;-)
Here are a few articles by Catholics and non-Catholics that I found to be interesting and helpful:
Family Life Center resource page here
A Catholic Critique of a Current Notion of Courtship (by an FUS alumna, Shell!)
Catholic Online - article from the Arlington Catholic Herald
A non-Catholic Christian perspective here
I've got some book recommendations, and will share them once I've actually done the work myself.
End Notes:
(1) We are not like that, thus we are unworthy of full communion with them, lest we or our school-going children foul the waters. But that's for another time and another post.
(2) To give credit where it is due, without even asking me first, she has refused her older Cheerleader friends' invitations to these gatherings. The Football Player asked her to the movies in lieu of attending this weekend's post-playoff-game bonfire bash - the last one of his HS football career at that. Good kid. But she's not going out anywhere with him, and she's told him so. He has now asked me if he might come over to meet us instead. I want to adopt him like a little puppy, he's so darn cute. But all puppies eventually pee on your carpet, so I'm keeping a close eye on him.
(3) Major CINO, no catechism growing up, parents who divorced and explored their - ahem - SELVES in the mid '70's and were so wrapped up in the "ME generation"/disco decadence culture that my siblings and I had ZERO supervision, were asked little and told even less about what we were up to. Me, well, I was an honor student and never got in trouble, mainly because I was too smart to get caught. Adult me grieves for teen-aged me, because even then I knew something was missing - I craved my mother's notice, but got little (beyond derision) when I screwed up, and even less when I did well. And that was just high school. Then I was a Big 10 school-going sorority queen in the late '80's, had a blast, had no rules and even less inhibitions - as long as I paid my own way, I could go off on whatever Spring-break bacchanalia I wanted. I'm striving to do the opposite as a mother. So far, so good...but we're just starting to hit the big stuff. I pray to St. Anne, but then I've got St. Monica for backup.


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subset: commoncrawl


text:
Introducing a wonderful little dresser that needs some "girly-ing" up. The owner requested "pink", and something that will contrast the light walls. The dresser has good bones. It is a well-constructed, quality piece of furniture. However, it doesn't "fit in" with the rest of the "girly" room and that must change!
The dresser looked like this when I received it:
The glossy, unscathed finish on tne dresser's surface will make painting it a dream! Even so, I still had to sand the surface before applying primer. Tip: some primers say no sanding required, however, I have learned through conversations with seasoned furniture painters, as well as my own experience, it is wise to sand any piece prior to priming.
Soon the glossy finish was gone and the priming began....I used a water based primer this time. It goes on much thicker than oil/shellac-based primer. Crazy. You'd think it would be the other way around right?
And now It is ready for paint. But first....my paint color "inspiration" (which the owner so graciously allowed me to take).....a pillow sham....
Often I find it is the simple things (like a pillow sham) that really help me visualize the direction a piece will go. Inspiration is key when custom painting a piece. Patterns, fabric, or the look/feel of the room, are some of the things that inspire me. And once I have that inspiration, the planning begins. The planning phase is just about done for this piece (it should be as I've been staring at the pillow sham and dresser all week!) I can't wait to get started. Stick around to see what's next.....and as always, a sneak peek and final reveal to follow!
Do you have a dainty little dresser like this one just waiting to be "re-discovered"? I'd LOVE to brainstorm ideas with you! If you'd like to chat or send me a message click HERE
Not sure what you'd like done to your piece? Click below to see some examples......


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Product was successfully added to your shopping cart.
We offer a collection of unique products for the home, garden and kitchen, perfect whether treating yourself or purchasing as a gift.
Great quality cushion and a really fun design. Prompt delivery and v good customer service, thank you. Grace & Grey is my new favourite find.
We always collect leaves to make the wonderful compost and these will make a change from plastic sacks with holes in them.
These gloves have a lovely feel and are comfortable to wear. They are not too thick to prevent movement which enables you to do all sorts of gardening jobs whilst wearing them but are also not so thin as to go through on contact with the first thorn. They look good too!
Bought one as a present but was so impressed, I bought one for myself to use in the garden but to also use as a seat cushion. It is very lightweight to carry with you if you know you are going to be sitting on hard seats and it comes in lovely colours too.
Just received my cactus teapot set from Grace & Grey, and its absolutely fantastic. It looks great as a feature on the shelf and super funky on the table for tea. Its fab!
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Click on bird to hear Albany, Georgia- born
Ray Charles
"Georgia on my Mind."
"It's not the man, it's the plan. It's not the rap, it's the map."
~Ossie Davis, Georgia Born
Dec 18, 1917 - Feb 4, 2005
Actor, writer, producer, director, and a "giant of civil rights."
He also provided the voice of a lemur named Yar in the 2000 Disney-animated film Dinosaur.
Georgia is a S.E. state whose terrain spans coastal beaches, farmland and mountains. Capital city Atlanta is home of the Georgia Aquarium and the Martin Luther King Jr. National Historic Site, dedicated to the African-American leader's life and times. The city of Savannah is famed for its 18th- and 19th-century architecture and leafy public squares. Augusta hosts the Masters golf tournament.
Listen to Raury from Stone Mountain, GA!
Born: June 10, 1996
Georgia Facts and Trivia
Okefenokee Swamp
encompasses over 400,000 acres of canals; moss draped cypress trees, and lily pad prairies providing sanctuaries for hundreds of species of birds and wildlife including several endangered species.
James Oglethorpe founded the colony of Georgia in 1733. One of the 13 original colonies, Georgia is now home to more than 9.6 million residents, a figure that makes the state the ninth most populous in the country.
Georgia produces much food and note that peanuts, peaches and Vidalia onions, the last three of which all hold places as state symbols.
Click Katniss Everdeen
It's Not Easy Being Green
Ray Charles & Kermit sing it. Click on Muppets
Ray Charles ...Brilliant musical figure who through his singing and piano playing helped invent soul and R&B music. Ray Charles was born in Georgia and moved to Florida as a child. At the age of 5 he began losing his sight gradually, and by age 7 is completely blind. Florida, he studied at St. Augustine deaf and blind, where he first learned to play the piano. He then moved to Seattle, where he began to be published as a musician.
About Spelman College
Founded in 1881 as the Atlanta Baptist Female Seminary, we became Spelman College in 1924. Today the student body comprises more than 2,100 students from 41 states and 15 foreign countries. Spelman empowers women to engage the many cultures of the world and inspires a commitment to positive social change through service. We are dedicated to academic excellence in the liberal arts and sciences and the intellectual, creative, ethical and leadership development of our students.
Spelman College
President Jimmy Carter
Born October 1, 1924 Plains, Georgia
39th President of the United States and Founder of The Carter Center.
See events by clicking on President Carter.
Amy Carter and her border collie mix, Grits, June 9, 1977.
City of Atlanta -
Click skyline
Congratulations to the new mayor of Atlanta Keisha Lance Bottoms!
James Joseph Brown (May 3, 1933 – December 25, 2006) was an American singer, songwriter, record producer, dancer and bandleader. The founding father of funk music and a major figure of 20th century popular music and dance, he is often referred to as the "Godfather of Soul"
. Click on James Brown and PupCorn the poodle.
Born: May 3, 1933,
Died: December 25, 2006, Atlanta, GA
Georgia Week for the Animals
November 23-December 1, 2019!
Mr. Jackie Robinson,
Born January 31, 1919, Cairo, GA-
Passed October 24, 1972, North Stamford, CT
Pictured with his wife Rachel, and their loving dog.
Tyrus Raymond Cobb, nicknamed The Georgia Peach, was an American Major League Baseball outfielder. He was born in rural Narrows, Georgia.
Born: December 18, 1886, Narrows, GA
Died: July 17, 1961, Atlanta, GA
the Ty Cobb Educational Foundation has distributed $15.8 million in college scholarships to needy Georgians.
Ty Cobb &
his dog in 1936
Patricia Lynn Yearwood
September 19, 1964 Monticello, Georgia
Country music singer, author, actress, and chef.
As determined , the University of Georgia is the only major college that actually buries its mascots within the confines of the stadium. Ugas I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII and VIII are buried in marble vaults near the main gate in the embankment of the South stands. Epitaphs to the dogs are inscribed in bronze, and before each home game, flowers are placed on their graves. The memorial plot attracts hundreds of fans s each year. Click on UGA.
Ryan Seacrest
with his dog Georgia
Born: December 24, 1974 Dunwoody, GA
The Carter Family and Amy's Dog, Grits. Amy Carter was age 9 when the Carter family moved into the White House.
Trees line the road at Wornsloe Historic Site in Savannah, Georgia.
Amy Grant
Born November 25, 1960 Augusta, GA
Oliver Hardy born January 18, 1892, Harlem, GA
Oliver Norvell "Babe" Hardy was an American comic actor and one half of Laurel and Hardy, the classic double act that began in the era of silent films and lasted 25 years, from 1927-1951.
Juliette Gordon Low was the founder of Girl Scouts of the USA with help from Sir Robert Baden-Powell, the founder of the Scouting Movement. Low and Baden-Powell both shared a love of travel and support of the Girl Guides.
Born: October 31, 1860, Savannah, GA
Died: January 17, 1927, Savannah, GA
"I never learned anything from a match that I won."
-Bobby Jones
Click on Bobby Jones, golfer and lawyer by profession, who was one of the most influential figures in the history of golf Born: March 17, 1902-Dec 18, 1971 Atlanta, GA Masters Grand Slam
Allman was an American singer-songwriter and musician. He was known for being a founding member and musician
in the Allman Brothers Band. (Click on Greg's pic.)
Born: December 8, 1947, Nashville, TN
Died: May 27, 2017, Richmond Hill, GA
Donate to Gregg Allman Scholarship Fund at UGA
Read entire 2017 speech to Harvard Law School by clicking on Ms. Yates photo.
God Bless America!
"The only way Love can last a Lifetime is if it Unconditional."
~Stephen Kendrick
from Athens, GA
Double click here to add text.
"It is amazing how much love and laughter they bring into our lives and even how much closer we become with each other because of them."
– John Grogan
"You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?' "
~Lewis Grizzard
October 20, 1946
Fort Benning, Georgia
March 20, 1994 Atlanta, Georgia


text:
The Institute of Rural Management Anand (IRMA), established in 1979 by the father of white revolution Dr Verghese Kurien, is a pioneering academic institution in rural management education and research.
It is India's leading school in rural management committed to acting as the catalyst and facilitator of rural prosperity. IRMA educates those inspired to work with organisations serving the rural sector and engaging directly with rural communities.Programmes Offered
- Post Graduate Diploma in Rural Management(PGDRM)
- Fellow Program in Rural Management ( Doctoral Program )
PGDRM - Duration- 2 years
Intake- 240 ( Fifteen percent of the approved intake is allocated for admission to Foreign Nationals / Persons of Indian Origin (PIO) / Children of Indian Workers in Gulf Countries and Sons & Daughters of Non Resident Indian ).
Fees- The total programme cost over the period of two years (inclusive of boarding, lodging, and field expenditure) is estimated to be about Rs 11.5 lakhs/-
A graduate from any discipline, with a minimum of 15 years (10+2+3) of education, having 50 per cent (45 per cent for SC/ST/DAP (Differently Abled Person)) aggregate marks at the graduation level can apply for admission.
IRMA will use CAT 2018 / XAT 2019 scores for admission to Post Graduate Diploma in Rural Management 2019 - 21 (PGDRM 2019 - 21) .
For Admissions 2019, IRMA will be giving two types of calls to the prospective candidates:
- Profile Based Calls
- Non Profile Based Calls
Candidates who fulfill the following criteria can be shortlisted for profile based calls:
- Graduation in: Development, Agriculture, Dairy, Public policy, Sustainability, Veterinary Sciences, Food Technology.
- Work experience in: Development Sector, Dairy, Public Policy. 3. Excellence: Graduation from Top universities and Colleges.
- Candidates who score above 80 percentile in CAT 2018/XAT 2019 and fall in the Profile based call criteria are eligible to be shortlisted for IRMASAT and GD/PI process.
- Candidates who score above 85 percentile in CAT 2018/XAT 2019 and fall in the Non-Profile based call criteria are eligible to be shortlisted for IRMASAT and GD/PI process.
- Both IRMASAT 2019 and GD/PI process will be conducted at IRMA for shortlisted candidates.
- Last date to apply for Indian Nationals- 31 Dec 2018.
- Last date to apply for Foreign Nationals-31 Mar 2019


text:
Rugby may be a great place, but even its most enthusiastic fan would admit it's not perfect.
That's why, 25 years ago, the Advertiser published a list if 50 ways to improve Rugby. And it makes fascinating reading.
Some of the suggestions - such as a multi-screen cinema and a local crematorium - have become an established part of our town. Some - such as county cricket being played at Rugby School - have made tentative steps towards becoming established. And some - such as pizza restaurants - may have become a little too established for some tastes.
The progress we have made towards others (such as better justice) is debatable; others (such as an elected mayor) have been fulfilled, but not in Rugby; and quite a few (such as the town having its own TV station) still seem a distant dream.
The words accompanying the feature in 1990 state that the suggestions were gathered from "opinion-formers and policy-makers" – but we know they don't always have the best ideas. So we'd like to know what you think. We're compiling another 50 ways to improve Rugby – and we want your views.
Send us your suggestions (as many as you like) and we'll whittle them down to make a 2015 version of the list. Email email@example.com, leave a comment on our Facebook page (facebook.com/RugbyAdvertiser), tweet @RugbyAdv or write to us at 2 Albert Street, Rugby, CV21 2RS.
So, here's the original list, with the original comments. Goodness, times have changed – or have they?
1. A Multi-screen cinema.
Demanded by almost everyone in the town from bored teenagers to pensioners looking for a quiet night out. Possible sites abound as Rugby has several purpose-built cinemas now masquerading as shops and carpet centres. Top contenders for a silver screen include the former Kwik Save building, Bank Street and the closing furniture centre in Railway Terrace (where Maurice Chevalier once sang in the 1930s).
2. Trees in Corporation Street.
One of the town's greyest and bleakest roads would be greatly improved by a spot of greenery.Trees planted down the central reservation and both sides of the road would not only break up concrete monotony but help keep down the dust, protect pedestrians from the wind and introduce seasonal change.
3. Cycle Lanes. Pedal pushing around Rugby is a frightening experience. Cyclists on the Ashlawn Roiad and the gyratory system take their life into their own hands. Cycles are safer for other road users, the environment and don't guzzle petrol at £2.35 a gallon, but sane human bieings are not going to take to them in Rugby until they are safe.
4. Bands in Caldecott Park. The beautiful blue and red bandstand in Caldecott Park speaks of a time when the park was more than a place to drink and crash-out in the sun. Regular brass and silver bands and the provision of rented deckchairs in the park would provide a good forum for young muscicians, rich entertainment and an even better place to crash-out in the sun.
5. Anti-slip surface at the Rugby Centre. On a wet day, how many shoppers have become victims of the steep and slippery slope which leads down the shopping mall?
6. Local Crematorium. Rugby's nearest cremarorium is Canley at Coventry or Oakley Wood on the Banbury Road to Warwick Road. A funeral service in Rugby must be completed some ten to 15 miles from the town, adding extra trauma to an already distressing occasion, and an extra cost to what is an already expensive one.
7. Bus-stop bins. Tough vandal-proof rubbish bins should be bolted ito every bus stop. They should be easy to spot and regularly emptied.
8. Stiff fines for litter louts. Anyone dropping litter in Rugby town centre should face a £50 fixed penalty fine. A professionally-employed litter warden would monitor the trown centre supported by local police. Anyone caught dropping litter should have the option to pay the fine or go to court, where if found guilkty the fine will be heavier still.
9. A gay bar. Homosexuality has been driven underground in the town. There are no places where gay women can freely meet and public toilets should not be a renezvous point for gay men.
10. County cricket. It is high time that county cricket should be introduced into Rugby. It is the only major town in the county without a top class fixture and the county ground at Edgbaston is not even in the county. We have the ideal grounds at Rugby School Close or the GEC and we should be prepared to start with a minor counties or Sunday league game.
11. Rugby School for Rugby's public. The school dominates the town and has some of the best sports facilities around.These facilities should be available to locals especially during the summer when the school's swimming facilities, games fields and cricket pitch are practically unused. More provision should also be made to allow tourists to visit the historic school - one of the town's biggest and most famous attractions.
12. Improve local driving tests. Motorists who don't know how to use the gyratory system drive everyone else round the bend.
13. Rugby Railway Station. What about having trains that ran on time? There should be more trains running to the major cities, especially first thing in the morning. Trains could be cleaner and tickets should be cheaper.
14. Many people have abandoned Rugby Town centre's night spots because they are tired of lager louts and loud music. A well-decorated bar for drinkers in their late 20s and 30s where you could put down your drink without it being pinched would be welcome.
15. Ban an early Christmas. All yuletide festivities - lights, shop displays and costume Santas should be banned from the town until December 1.
16. 24-hour garages. Whether it is cigarettes, a pint of milk or even petrol you are after, a 24-hour garage in the Hillmorton, Bilton or Brownsover area, would save the tiresome trek to Corporation Street. Better still a 24-hour garage in all these areas.
17. Community Policing. More bobbies on the beat would go a long way to keeping down vandalism and theft. Pedestrian policemen build up much better relationships with an area's young people. This helps stop petty crime before it starts. When they get into their patrol cars, policemen become faceless.
18. Late-night drinking. Throwing all town centre revellers out on the streets at precisely 11.15pm is tantamount to organising a street fight. If people were allowed to make their own decision about when to stop socialising and go home, there would simply be less bored and frustrated people wandering around at the same time to cause fights. Also for those not keen on nightclubs, an open pub should be an option to a can of beer in front of the late film.
19. Stray dog collectors. Dog wardens should be able to collect stray and dangerous dogs within 30 minutes of a concerned member of the public picking up the phone. The service ought to be available round the clock, including weekends.
20. Cable television. The long promised cable is yet to come to Rugby. If it does, those who nightly scour Midlands Today and Nationwide in vain for a mention of Rugby would be delighted to tune into the town's own station.
21. Better signposting. Why the obsession with Market Harborough? Switching a few of these signs for directions to Daventry or Lutterworth would be a relief to many of the lost motorists still touring the gyratory system.
22. A cheap lunchtime restauarant. Presently anyone who works in the town centre and is bored of whole-food tea-shops and pub-grub is bringing a packed lunch to work.
23. Bus station. Build a Pool Meadow-style bus station at West Leys car par. Before shoppers will leave their cars at home, we need a town centre area where buses start and finish their journey, with easy to read and on-the-dot timetables.
Presently buses straggle all over the town centre, confuse the stranger and block other road users.
24.Rugby Railway Station. Get rid of the 'This Path is not Dedicated to the use of the Public' sign. Visitors to Rugby find it insulting and confusing. Locals ignore it.
25. Ice-skating rink. Another entertainment facility the town could do with. An ice-rink would give some of the town's many bored teenagers something to do. It would also attract many visitors to the town.
26. Telling time. All town clocks should show the same time and correct time. It would be a start if the four faces of the town centre clock tower agreed with each other. If St Andrew's clock tallied as well it would be a minor miracle.
27. A better market. Move the market town from James Street to the clock tower and let stalls run down the centre of High Street and Sheep Street, bringing life, colour and that increasingly rare species, the shopper back to the pedestrian area.
28. Street theatre. In between groups of stalls in our proposed clock tower market there would be spaces reserved for buskers, street performers and pavement artists. The largest space would be towards the Rugby School end of the pedestrian zone to encourage shoppers to visit this increasingly bleak end of town.
29. Athletics arena. We are not suggesting the town centre makes an Olympic bid but at least one basic sports arena is needed as a venue for track and field events.
30. Upmarket department store. Bostron's is good but there are very few shops selling high quality goods and gifts and even less high quality clothes stores. Debenhams, Rackhams or John Lewis should be invited to include a store in the coming shopping mall development.
31. Appoint a creche. There should be a professionally-run creche in Rugby town centre open six days a week for shoppers to be able to leave their children in safety.
32. Soccer stadium. Use Oakfield as a super stadium for VS Rugby allowing better facilities and more room for spectators.
33.Speaker's Corner. High Street and Sheep Street meet. All of Rugby's popular and outspoken characters could stand and express their views to the general public.
34. Library and Art Gallery Now. Dithering about with plans and proposals which just end up in the bin is a waste of public money.No-one is arguing Rugby doesn't urgently need a new library. So let's build it now before the interest rates go up again.
35. Hoof the Cattle Market. Stop heavy lorries trundling through Benn Ward at dawn by moving the cattle market to Churchover where access is better and there is more space.
36. Better justice. Replace lay magistrates with professionally qualified stipendiary magistrates.
37. Power to the Mayor. Make the office of Mayor a full-time position elected by the people every two or three years. The Mayor would run the borough rather than the leader of any political group.
38. Traffic at schools. Ban on traffic within 100 yards of any school during opening hours.
39. Public transport. There should be a 10p flat rate on bus travel into Rugby, the rest of the cost subsidised by the borough council. The numbewr of cars per household should be limited to one.
40.Less booze. The number of off licences should be reduced by two-thirds. The result would be less alcoholism. Alcohol is too freely available in Rugby.
41. Getting the bird. Appoint a pigeon warden to police the town centre and move on any birds loitering with intent.
42. Summer cafes. Encourage more cafes to put chairs and tables outside in the summer. However the customers who use these should not be allowed to grow old and grey before cafe stafff attend to them.
43. Brownsover wine bar. Encourage wealthy yuppies to point the bonnets of their Range Rovers towards Brownsover. An upmarket wine bar is just what the area needs and would exploit the area's excellent reception for car phones.
44. Pizzas. A cheap, quick and arguably tasty form of food. Rugby still lacks a pizza restuarant. The prime site for any low-budget eating spot has to be around Briggs Shoe Shop with its fine two-storey building and three-face facade. Open all day with a licence please.
45. More bottle banks. Only the very dedicated eco-phile is presently prepared to haul around a sack of glass in the hunt for the bottle bank. Sadlly most of us are lazy and will continue dumping our empties in the wheelie-bin until the banks are brought to the end of our street.
46. Rejuvenate the canals. We need a rebirth of canal life encouraging more businesses to transport their goods on the water. Barges could be horsedrawn rather than mechanised.
47. More shops in the centre. There should be a ban on any more offices within 500 yards of the clock tower. The shops should be run by Rugby people.
48. Ditch the road. Turf over the road through the recreation ground to the leisure centre OR remove the traffic lights at the end of Cromwell Road.
49. Ponds, lakes and fountains in the Rugby town area. Locations could Regent Place, Caldecott Park, and the Rugby Recreation Ground. Ponds should be rampant with wildlife.
50. Postal services. A head post office, moved from Rugby many years ago to a bigger and better location in Coventry, should be returned to the town immediately. This would have the effect of improving delivery times for locally posted mail. The Royal Mail claims that something like 92 per cent of first class mail is delivered the next day. This must surely be a figment of someone's imagination in the sorting office.


text:
City of Bones – Cassandra Clare
Oh yes…. another young adult novel, which, surprise, is part of a series (The Mortal Instruments). It has all the characteristics of YA novels: teenage protagonist, brooding hunk, life and death situations, supernatural elements, sexual tension, and missing parental influence. There are times when I think, is this, what literature is coming to, but I […]More


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Courtesy of Bergman & Gutierrez LLP
Todd Brown v. Bank of America, CV12-0309
Hearing: Defendant's Demurrer
Date: September 5, 2012
Plaintiffs Counsel
Todd and Renee Brown – Penelope Bergman, Esq.
Defendant Counsel
Bank of America Wendy – Miele, Esq.
Todd and Renee Brown (Plaintiffs) bring this action against Bank of America, N.A.
(Defendant) for alleged damages suffered as a result of Defendant's actions and tactics
related to Plaintiffs' loan modification process. In other words, this is not the typical
challenge to the lender's non-judicial foreclosure on the borrower's property.
Plaintiffs' complaint includes causes of action for negligence, unfair business practices,
violation of Civil Code §1788 and promissory estoppel. Defendant demurs to all four
causes of action. Plaintiffs oppose the motion.
Defendant demurs to the entire complaint on res judicata grounds based upon a prior
ruling in a federal action, and on Plaintiff's failure to tender the full amount owed.
In the federal action, Plaintiffs challenged Defendant's foreclosure proceeding. The
Federal Court summarized the action as follows: "The gravamen of plaintiffs' claims is
that defendants improperly attempted to transfer the loan to a trust in order to securitize
it, but failed to do so by the closing date specified in the Pooling & Service
With regard to the collateral estoppel issue, the parties agree that the following elements
must be established: "(1) the issue necessarily decided in the previous proceeding is
identical to the one that is sought to be relitigated; (2) the previous proceeding terminated
with a final judgment on the merits; and (3) the party against whom collateral estoppel is
asserted was a party to or in privity with a party in the previous proceeding. [Citation.]"
(Syufy Enterprises v. City of Oakland (2002) 104 Cal.App.4th 869, 878.)
Here, Defendant contends the Federal Court's ruling addressed the identical issues at
stake in this action. Defendant's argument is premised upon the assumption that
"Plaintiffs are still attempting to prevent foreclosure of the Property." However,
Plaintiffs are not challenging the foreclosure in this action. Rather, the gravamen of
Plaintiffs' claim is that Defendant was negligent in the handling of Plaintiffs' loan
modification proceedings. Consequently, the issues adjudicated in the federal action are
not "identical" to the ones that are at issue in this action.
For the same reasons, Defendant asserts that the action is barred because of Plaintiffs'
failure to allege a viable tender of the full amount owed. A plaintiff is required to tender
full payment of the secured indebtedness in order to challenge or set aside the
foreclosure. (Abdallah v. United Savings Bank (1996) 43 Cal.App.4th 1101, 1109; Miller
v. Provost (1994) 26 Cal.App.4th 1703, 1710.) As stated above, Plaintiffs are not seeking
to set aside the foreclosure.
With regard to the negligence cause of action, Defendant demurs on the grounds that as a
financial lender, it owes no legal duty to Plaintiffs. As a general rule, a financial
institution owes no duty of care to a borrower in a loan transaction. (Nymark v. Heart
Federal Savings & Loan Assn. (1991) 231 Cal.App.3d 1089, 1096.) A duty arises only
when a lender actively participates beyond the scope of its conventional role. (Id)
In California, the test for determining whether a financial institution owes
a duty of care to a borrower-client " 'involves the balancing of various
factors, among which are [1] the extent to which the transaction was
intended to affect the plaintiff, [2] the foreseeability of harm to him, [3]
the degree of certainty that the plaintiff suffered injury, [4] the closeness
of the connection between the defendant's conduct and the injury suffered,
[5] the moral blame attached to the defendant's conduct, and [6] the policy
of preventing future harm.' " (Citations) (Nymark, supra at 1098.)
According to Defendant, Plaintiffs have not alleged that Defendant had any dealings in
any financial enterprises involving Plaintiffs that would impose a duty of care as a matter
of law. In response, Plaintiffs cite to numerous federal district court cases in which the
district judges, relying on the Nymark factors identified above, determined the lender did
owe a duty of care to the borrower. While only advisory, those decisions provide
compelling reasons supporting a claim that a bank that undertakes a loan modification
participates beyond the scope of a conventional lender. (See Garcia v. Ocwen Loan
Servicing, LLC (N.D. Cal., May 10, 2010) 2010 WL 1881098— "Here, by asking
Plaintiff to submit supporting documentation, Defendant undertook the activity of
processing Plaintiff's loan modification request. Having undertaken that task, it owed
Plaintiff a duty to exercise ordinary care in carrying out the task."
Next, Defendant demurs to the unfair business practices cause of action on the grounds
Plaintiffs fail to allege any prohibited practice on Defendant's part, and on the grounds
Plaintiffs cannot establish any entitlement to the specific remedies available under
Business & Professions Code §17200.
The unfair competition law (Bus. & Prof. Code §17200, et. seq.) focuses on conduct and
prohibits "anything that can properly be called a business practice and that at the same
time is forbidden by law." (Albillo v. Intermodal Container Services, Inc. (2003) 114
Cal.App.4th 190, 206.) Therefore, to state a valid claim, a plaintiff must establish that the
practice is either unlawful (i.e., is forbidden by law), unfair (i.e., harm to victim
outweighs any benefit) or fraudulent (i.e., is likely to deceive members of the public).
In this instance, Plaintiffs allege sufficient facts to establish a claim that Defendant's
practice of misrepresenting its intent to modify the loan and inducing Plaintiffs into
making trial payments were deceptive and fraudulent business practices sufficient to
support a viable cause of action. (See Boschma v. Home Loan Center (2011) 198
Cal.App.4th 230, 254.) Additionally, Plaintiffs seek restitution and injunctive relief
pursuant to the remedies allowed under Business & Professions Code §17200.
Defendant demurs to the third cause of action for violation of the Rosenthal Fair Debt
Collection Practices Act (Civil Code §1788) on the grounds Defendant is not a "debt
collector" engaged in the practice of debt collection under the Act. In support of this
position, Defendant cites to federal authority defining "debt collectors" under the Federal
Fair Debt Collection Practices Act. To the contrary, some district courts have held a
mortgage servicer to be a "debt collector" under the Rosenthal Act. (See Reyes v. Wells
Fargo Bank, N.A. (N.D. Cal., Jan. 3, 2011) 2011 WL 30759, 19-21 and Walters v.
Fidelity Mortg. of CA (E.D. Cal. 2010) 730 F.Supp.2d 1185, 1203 where the plaintiff's
claim arose "out of debt collection activities beyond the scope of the ordinary foreclosure
process" such that a remedy was available under the RFDCPA.)
Finally, Defendant demurs to the promissory estoppel cause of action on the basis the
deed of trust obligated Plaintiffs to pay the total amount due, such that it was not
reasonable for Plaintiffs to have relied on "purported representations", and they cannot
establish damages because they were required to perform under the deed of trust.
Additionally, Defendant contends an oral loan modification is barred by the statute of
frauds. Thus, any purported representation regarding a loan modification was only a
"gratuitous promise."
In opposition, Plaintiffs cite to Aceves v. U.S. Bank, N.A. (2011) 192 Cal.App.4th 218, in
which the appellate court reversed the trial court's sustaining of a demurrer to a
promissory estoppel cause of action. The Aceves court held that the bank's promise to
work on a loan modification was sufficiently concrete to be enforceable, that the
plaintiff's reliance was reasonable, that the plaintiff was damaged and that the oral
promise was enforceable. (Id. at 226-231) The same appears to be alleged by Plaintiff in
this action.
Defendant's demurrer to all causes of action is overruled.