text:
Women's Outdoor T&F Athletes of the Week - No. 5
By Chad Waller, NAIA Director of Communications & Sports Information
KANSAS CITY, Mo. - Tiosha Beasley of Campbellsville (Ky.) has been named the NAIA National Women's Outdoor Field Athlete of The Week and Verone Chambers of Oklahoma Baptist has been honored as the NAIA National Women's Track Athlete of The Week, the national office announced Wednesday. Beasley and Chambers were selected based on their performances from April 9 - 15. Chambers is the third-straight Bison to win the award this year.
Beasley, a junior from Bowling Green, Ky., earned two "A" standards and shattered a pair of Campbellsville records at the NCAA Division I Western Kentucky University Hilltoppers Relays on April 14. Taking second in the long jump with a distance of 19' 11", Beasley's mark is tops in the NAIA this year by more than one foot and the best in the last three seasons. Her triple jump leap of 39' was good for third overall and stands No. 2 in the NAIA this year. The former school records were previously held by Beasley and accomplished on April 7.
Chambers, a senior from Clarendon, Jamaica, established a NAIA season-high in the 400-meters at the John Jacobs Invitational hosted by NCAA Division I University of Oklahoma on April 14. She finished first in the event with a clocking of 52.71. She also ran a leg in the 4x100 relay team (45.44), which is listed No. 1 on the NAIA national list. Also, the first-place showing in the 4x400 relay took first-place and is an automatic qualifying mark.
Track Nominees: Rachel Renken, Friends (Kan.); Alyssa Sanders, Jamestown (N.D.); Lindsey Wagner, Northwest (Wash.); Bianca Grant, Wayland Baptist (Texas); Obsie Birru, Grand View (Iowa); Rachel Morman, St. Francis (Ill.); Samantha Francois, Clarke (Iowa); Alyssa Garrett, Oklahoma Christian; Alexandria Ortiz, Olivet Nazarene (Ill.); Rachael Estabrook, Corban (Ore.); Jenna Higgins, Mount Mercy (Iowa); Jessie Rozario, Southern Oregon; Lauren Moran, Concordia (Ore.); Henrietta Carey, Taylor (Ind.); Nathelie Zetrenne, Campbellsville (Ky.); Adriana Henderson, Langston (Okla.); Gillian Giffen, Milligan (Tenn.); Danielle Buford, Georgetown (Ky.); Baleigh Hyatt, Embry-Riddle (Fla.); Darcy Mascotti, Cumberlands (Ky.); Zalika Dixon, Indiana Tech; Kamara Cox, St. Louis Pharmacy (Mo.); Cassie Keeping, Siena Heights (Mich.); Katie Mock, South Carolina Beaufort; Sora Klopfenstein, College of Idaho; Ayana Walker, Shorter (Ga.); Tyler Lucero, Great Falls (Mont.); Allix Miller, Indiana Wesleyan; Sharon Ronoh , Lindsey Wilson (Ky.); Rebeca Barajas, Central Methodist (Mo.); Katie Bonnema, Dordt (Iowa).
Field Nominees: Erinn Shaugnessy, Oklahoma Baptist; Megan Glisar, Morningside (Iowa); Chelsea Rimington, St. Francis (Ill.); Vanessa Legg, Indiana East; Makenzie Brown, Oklahoma Christian; Larissa Widlen, Mount Mercy (Iowa); Hannah Mason, Southern Oregon; Gabriella Dixson, Concordia (Ore.); Kate Fulton, Central Methodist (Mo.); Reta Woodard, Embry-Riddle (Fla.); Devon Jensen, Grand View (Iowa); Janada Acree, Cumberlands (Ky.); Helen Weber, Union (Ky.); Cora Tatum, Indiana Tech; Bethany Chew, St. Louis Pharmacy (Mo.); Phoenix Duncan, Siena Heights (Mich.); Ty'Chelle Freeman, South Carolina Beaufort; Jessica Aguilar, College of Idaho; Victoria Lee, Indiana Wesleyan; Milika Tuivanuavou, Fresno Pacific (Calif.).
2012 Composite Award Winners (Outdoor Track / Outdoor Field)
Week 1: Adella King, Indiana Tech / Stacia Murray; Indiana Tech
Week 2: Leandria Lee, Wayland Baptist (Texas) / Sharayah Kenady, Concordia (Ore.)
Week 3: Evan Shimanek, Oklahoma Baptist / Adella King, Indiana Tech
Week 4: Stacy Warrior, Oklahoma Baptist / Kimmy Moore, Eastern Oregon
Week 5: Verone Chambers, Oklahoma Baptist / Tiosha Beasley, Campbellsville (Ky.)


text:
Now for some seriously awful news surrounding the New York Jets: Linebacker Bryan Thomas, a veteran of 11 seasons, is trying to get into a special probation program because he allegedly beat up his wife more than two months ago.
The Daily Record of Parsippany, N.J., has the ugly details:
Thomas, 33, was charged Oct. 31 in Randolph with aggravated assault upon his wife at their home. The linebacker — described as 6 feet, 4 inches and 265 pounds on the NFL roster — allegedly pushed his wife with a kitchen chair, punched her in the stomach, and grabbed her by the neck, causing pain and marks on her body, according to criminal complaints.
Thomas, who posted $2,500 bail after his arrest, also was charged with unlawful possession of a weapon (the kitchen chair), possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of less than 50 grams of marijuana, and possession of 20 tablets of suspected hydrocodone.
It's not clear how any of this news remained quiet for so long, especially because, well, the Jets. Through his attorney, Thomas has applied for a program for first-time offenders that, if he qualifies, would allow him to serve a probation period and meet other unspecified conditions in exchange for having the charges dismissed and his record expunged. Thomas has a court appearance scheduled for Feb. 5.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
5:00pm to 8:00pm
Food & Beverage
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Join us every Saturday for Chef's Prime Rib special. This events Sells Out you must make reservations!
A La carte
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Reservations REQUIRED for Prime Rib Night. Please make reservations through the Overlook Dining Room


text:
Uncyclopedia:Votes for deletion/archive2
- 1
Pope John Paul 3.0
- 2 19th century
- 3 Weekly Week
- 4 April Fools Day
- 5 Main Page
- 6
Philip J. Kaplan
- 7
Red Green
- 8
Uwe Boll
- 9
Carmem Elektra
- 10 The point and its pals
- 11 Abstinence
- 12 NeoCon
- 13 Britney spears (with a small "s")
- 14 Power Rangers
- 15 Penis mutilation
- 16 Earthquake
- 17 Fiscal responsibility
- 18 Karl Rove
- 19 Video gaming
- 20 Darclinc
- 21 Bookmarks
- 22 Vanna_White
- 23
Recursivity and Recursive
- 24 Russel targ
- 25 Imaginary numbers
- 26 Bukakkae
- 27 Uncyclopedia:Pages for deletion
- 28 Farper Pee
- 29 Funny
- 30 Government inc.
- 31 Lula, Delilah
- 32 Open-source
- 33 Collateral Damage
- 35
A loop of pages
- 36
Burger King
- 37
- 38 Vietnam
- 39 Sticky end
- 40 Interweb
- 41 Gay
- 42 Impeach
Pope John Paul 3.0
Rewrite This is barely funny and needs to be made consistent with Pope John Paul 2.0. --iMacThere4iAm 17:40, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
This is not the place to call attention to pages that need rewriting.
Addendum: Should we have a place to call attention to pages that need rewriting, or is Requested rewrites enough? --Algorithm 17:52, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Using the template links isn't as useful as a Requested Rewrites page could be, but I don't think we have enough people that would be willing to handle all the rewrites. Some of the things with the {{rewrite}} should be deleted rather than rewritten. I vote Delete for Pope John Paul 3.0. --Paulgb Talk 19:13, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Format C: By the grace of BoB and the fury of Darth Dufus... oh hell, just delete it as it is not funny. --bdanials 22:48, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Delete It doesn't need a rewrite. It's just unfunny and stupid. --Uvula Donor 23:05, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Delete --Rcmurphy 23:08, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Delete --Goomball 07:16, 4 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Burninate yawn --Pnorf 14:27, 4 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Deleted --Uvula Donor 14:28, 4 Apr 2005 (EDT)
19th century
Delete You know you want to. --Rcmurphy 00:35, 3 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete Horrible & unredeemable. --Lomedae 04:04, 3 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Weekly Week
Delete It's just a poorly written ad for some other sap's website --Goomball 13:53, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
- Read the stuff ;) pretty funi--22.214.171.124 14:01, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
- I read it. It's okay. But the place for links like that is in people's profiles, I think. --Goomball 15:48, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete Although the author is putting effort into it, the bottom line is that it appears to be spam. --Paulgb Talk 14:06, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete Spam. Contains blashemy. Remove with vengance. --Chronarion 14:08, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete Spam. Contains dishumor. Remove with vengance. --Famine 16:50, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Keep _OR_ Delete. Both with a vengance --184.108.40.206 16:54, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete Spam. --Darkdan 21:41, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete by all means link to it by user profile, yes, but don't create a page for it - otherwise the whole 'pedia will degenerate into a gigantic billboard for everyones brother's aunt's cat's hairdresser's college newsletter.--Machinecurse 05:35, 2 Apr 2005 (EST)
April Fools Day
Delete This page belongs in the Wikipedia. Uncyclopedia pages are supposed to be funny, but April Fool's Day is supposed to be funny in the first place, therefore it follows that the Uncyclopedia page should be factual and not at all funny. Ipso fatso --Fazookus
Keep You're speaking nonsense. Uncyclopedia pages are NOT supposed to be funny, and in fact follow NPOV guidelines. I am offended that you consider our pages non cladistine. --Chronarion 10:49, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Keep I would think VFDing this page was an april fools joke, except that you actually put the vfd template on the page. Just because the page is about a funny topic doesn't mean it shouldn't be funny, I don't get this logic. --Paulgb Talk 13:08, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Retain ?!? --Machinecurse 13:46, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Keep But I think it needs to be even more extreme, i.e. deploying small nuclear devices 'just for a laff' --Goomball 13:51, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
I took off the VFD template, I hope it wasn't too soon. --Paulgb Talk 14:02, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Fix It's got promise, but just isn't all that great. Armed robbery is about as subtle as a brick. Humm, come to think of it, shouldn't it be anti-trick? "People take April Fools as a day to express their true feelings for other human beings. If your otherwise loving, caring, significnat other does something horribly mean to you on this day, you now know how he feels inside, every day." Someone funnier than I am can fix it up. ;) --Famine 17:00, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Keep I dont know why this should be in VFD --Nytrospawn 20:28, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Keep I stand corrected, but only because of my orthotic insoles. Also April Fool!!. OK, so it wasn't all that funny, seemed like a good idea at the time. Foolzookus 07:14, 2 Apr 2005 (EST)
Keep probalby don't need a new vote, but wth --Pnorf 14:30, 4 Apr 2005 (EDT)
Main Page
Deleted --Paulgb Talk 14:32, 2 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete/Rewrite I can kinda see where he's trying to go with this page, but it never really has that 'punchy' supidity or a decent punchline. The concept of the Main page is a good starting point though... --Gadgeophile 18:33, 31 Mar 2005 (EST) (we're actually a good 17 hours ahead of that time where I am...)
Take to dinner and a movie I think it's rather...attractive. Almost sensual. --Rcmurphy 19:46, 31 Mar 2005 (EST)
Yeah That little blonde Sauron chick gives me a stiffy. --Uvula Donor 20:05, 31 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete and ban everyone who contributed to this page. --EvilZak 00:00, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Sterilize contributors and immediate family --Chronarion 00:47, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete is it some kind of blog? Hideous amount of in-jokery. --Machinecurse 13:49, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Philip J. Kaplan
Go Go Gadget deletion.
Delete This just appears to be a stupid personal rant against the FuckedCompany dude. Or am I missing something? --Gadgeophile 20:46, 31 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete I agree --Nytrospawn 21:29, 31 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete. And delete Fucked Company while we're at it. --EvilZak 00:00, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete. Although at some point i'd encourage rants, this is.. not funny. --Chronarion 01:00, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Delete It gives me a headache. And a heartache. --Rcmurphy 01:06, 1 Apr 2005 (EST)
Red Green
It is no more. -Bonalaw 02:45, 31 Mar 2005 (EST)
Don't get it.--188.8.131.52 12:08, 30 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete - it has only one link to it, but when read in the context of the link it still doesnt make any sense.
Delete Not funny. --Uvula Donor 15:25, 30 Mar 2005 (EST)
Uwe Boll
delete If there's a joke here that I'm not getting, please feel free to explain. --Uvula Donor 14:59, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Stub There's no real reason to delete this. Just needs expanding. --Algorithm 16:32, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Expand I like the picture. That guy looks so excited. --Rcmurphy 16:33, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/keep picture Unless someone wants to rewrite it, because nothing links to it. Why not just move the picture to somewhere irrelivent? --Paulgb Talk 17:20, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Abort, Rewrite, Fail Rewrite or nuke. Save the pic. --bdanials 21:05, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete --Pnorf 11:16, 30 Mar 2005 (EST)
deleted Uwe Boll is gone, but the image is still on file, if anyone can think of a use for it. --Uvula Donor 14:20, 31 Mar 2005 (EST)
Carmem Elektra
p4wn3d --Chronarion 14:09, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Erm, did I miss some elaborate joke about Carmen Electra and HTML? I doubt it. --MitchO 13:53, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete it's not even mildly amusing. --Clanger 13:59, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete It's not even spelled right. --RadicalX 14:03, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
The White Album
- The White Album and while at it, ban the idiot who made the page. (Look at the history of that page for the reason...) --MZL 07:58, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
- Sorry, I messed up. The user should be banned, but the article is good. A little short perhaps. --MZL 08:28, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
- I agree with your recent edit - restoring visible text. But I question banning someone who blanks their own creation. That user created the page and up until you reverted it, he was the only one who had done any editing on it at all. --Uvula Donor 08:42, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
- To be fair, blanking it was probably the joke. Is it possible to turn it into white text, the type that would become visible on highlighting? --126.96.36.199 11:20, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
- Looks like you can.
- To be fair, blanking it was probably the joke. Is it possible to turn it into white text, the type that would become visible on highlighting? --220.127.116.11 11:20, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
- The White Album is the 3rd album by 'The Culinary Ants' and also some other band.
- The Album features 70 mins of pure white noise and it is recommended that you stare directly into a light bulb of at least 60W while listening to it.
::::What do people here think of changing the font on the article to white?--18.104.22.168 12:18, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
- Font color changed to white as suggested. I don't think this page merits deletion. It could be added to, or revised, though. --Uvula Donor 12:22, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
My apologies. I thinked too hasty. I assumed he had filled the whole page with just blank lines. I'm very sorry. :|
--MZL 15:33, 29 Mar 2005 (EST)
I can't believe you wanted me banned for creating a page, whets your problem? I didn't make and changes to someone's existing page (and even if I had, we're able to do that). Yeah so I edited it a few time to get it the way I wanted so what, were not all as perfect as you. Humor comes in all forms and to those with some basic cultural awareness will know what the real white album is, sorry for liking more subtle humor
--B4zm4lti 04:39, 30 Mar 2005 (EST)
First: I already apologized. Second: As I already explained, it was a misunderstanding. I assumed you filled the whole page with blank lines. End of discussion.
--MZL 05:42, 30 Mar 2005 (EST)
The point and its pals
Delete just another loop of pages --Paulgb 19:05, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete (I fixed the link.) --Rcmurphy 19:19, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete Loop monkeys. They're everywhere. --Uvula Donor 20:42, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete I made a category, but this isn't funny! --Chronarion 22:21, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Deleted All gone --Paulgb Talk 13:42, 28 Mar 2005 (EST)
Removed from VFD. Congrats, it's actually funny. --Chronarion 23:05, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
I'm slipping... --Fazookus
I like it, and it didn't belong in VFD. I would have said so sooner, but I've been offline all weekend. --Uvula Donor 20:56, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Page redeemed! - I actually like the rewrite. Congrats! I laughed. Just in time for the 100,000 hit celebration too :) --Chronarion 22:13, 28 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep - Okay. Look, most of us here are.. pretty left slanted. The thing is, I recommend you check out Ambrose Bierce, "The devil's dictionary" for a good example of satire that is funny. You're much too bitter when commencing satire. You are not required to be silly, but you should not be so bitter. I welcome political satire. Really. But this is a little bit nasty. It is not, funny to say "Bush did this, therefore proving his inability to govern." That's not satire, it's an essay with a little sarcasm thrown in. Again, I do not really require alot of silly. Coherency is fine. It's just that you're missing the funny and making up with it with bitter. As sad as I am to say it, Michael Moore actually did a good job with satire in his propoganda. Maybe you should *shiver* learn from him. --Chronarion 23:10, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
- Ex: A "NeoCon" is a "New Conservative", someone who combines traditional Conservative values in all the important fields, exempting minor things like financial restraint with regard to public spending, respect for personal liberties, and respect for the US Constitution. In short, they're kind of like whiny little children, only they get to lick tax money instead of candy, despite all the germs. --Chronarion 23:14, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite Uvula Donor changed a (funny, at least a little) satirical jab into something just silly and not funny. I understand he doesn't like my politics, fine, but are we censoring for politics or funniness here? I don't want to continue a reversion war but I changed my original entry to remove some nastiness, I hope it's more acceptable. Actually I'm ashamed of the 'sociopath' crack and would have removed that too but UD left it in so I did too. --Fazookus 09:17, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
- Negative, Fazookus, I have no problem with your politics. I have a problem with the tone of some of your articles, not the politics behind them. It's like Acousvnt says, the angrier it comes out, the less funny it is. And the constant Nazi shit just borders on tinfoil hat territory. --Uvula Donor 21:05, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Work on a little? I don't think it's about censoring viewpoints so much as overall tone; personally I think the angrier something sounds, the less convincing it actually is, to say nothing of its impact on the humor. Pretend you're a magician. If you do want to make a political point, do it with the hand people aren't looking at. --Acousvnt 09:54, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite Fakoous: Satire is fine from either side of the aisle. It just has to be funny, which is something that you don't seem to grasp. --Savethemooses 09:55, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Actually, Satire doesn't have to be funny. The satire here is the contrast between the beliefs of traditional conservatives (individual freedom, fiscal responsibility) and the NeoCon (the 'Patriot Act', the deficit). '...louder ties and drinking buddies...' is silly, not funny, and yes, I'm aware of the distinction. Acousvnt, thanks, you make a good point, my prefered version (and I won't change the page, no reversion wars here) would be un-nasty:
A "NeoCon" is a "New Conservative", someone who combines traditional Conservative values (except for financial restraint with regard to public spending, respect for personal liberties, and respect for the US Constitution).
But if y'all want silly, it's up to you.
BTW I've stated my intent to (try to) avoid political satire, this is a plea for a previous offense 8P --Fazookus 10:23, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
BAW I do hereby claim both Satire and Humor (C) Mr. Fazookus, 2005. I may not be funny but I type really fast. --Fazookus 10:23, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Okay, let me rephrase that. Satire has to be funny on this site. Okay? You might as well give up because pretty much nobody agrees with you on this. --Savethemooses 11:10, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
- I agree. Satire SHOULD be funny on THIS site. --Chronarion 22:19, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
I'm on the case and will rewrite this after my ode to my hero, Karl "Elmer" Rove. I think my problem is that when I say these kinds of things out loud to people they actually are funny, i.e., people laugh and/or throw things, because of non-verbal queues, such as my expressions of pain, smirking, or whatever... and when I write it I can visualize that and hear my tone of voice. But, um, you all can't, obviously. When I reread it with this in mind yeah, it's not funny, it's bitter.
1st rewrite I just have to go back and add some nastiness (it's in my nature) but I think this is reasonably funny without being too offensive. Can't have that!
- Looking good so far. --Uvula Donor 22:35, 28 Mar 2005 (EST)
Britney spears (with a small "s")
Always comes up on a search instead of the real one, unless you explicitly type an upper case "S". --Acousvnt 16:03, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewritten. --Algorithm 16:15, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
That approach did occur to me, actually. Works for me. :) --Acousvnt 16:26, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep it, it is worth a chuckle. Charles B
I like the rewrite. --Uvula Donor 21:09, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Power Rangers
Unfunny--22.214.171.124 13:37, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/ Complete And Total Rewrite That is quite possibly one of the worst entries of all time. --Savethemooses 14:27, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete I don't think it's redeemable. --Rcmurphy 14:30, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete "Unfunny" doesn't even scratch the surface. --Uvula Donor 14:34, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rape, Pillage and Destroy MY EYES!!!1! --JHarr 14:38, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite - nothing is impossible. Except the impossible. Which might or might not be possible. Let me rub my magic buns together and see what can be made of it. --Pieclone 15:52, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewritten I've left the vfd tag on, though; you may want to go ahead and nuke it anyway. It's just a stub (and a formatting nightmare), but there could be a seed of a joke there. --UnholySauce 01:30, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep the Rewrite much better. I added some <br> tags which seems to have fixed the formatting problems in firefox.
Keep the Rewrite Yes, much better now. --Uvula Donor 21:12, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Penis mutilation
delete/rewrite Was on the most wanted list earlier, and it looks like someone just threw up something for the hell of it. Not funny in the least... could possibly be rewritten but isn't it easier to deleter it and have it go back to the top of the Most Wanted list, waiting for someone to put some effort into it? --JHarr 21:11, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
deleted absolutly nothing there to be rewritten or expanded on. --Paulgb 10:40, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
stubbed Something else is there, but at least it doesn't totally suck, it's just stubby. --Uvula Donor 21:15, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Fiscal responsibility
delete Again, factual, not funny, just more political aze-grinding. Don't people have blogs anymore? --Uvula Donor 09:05, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep/rewrite I kind of like the idea of Fiscal irresponsibility being a weapon. It's one of those things that's funny because it's almost true. It'd be great if it could be made funnier, but I like the idea behind it.--220.127.116.11 09:20, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete I reckon all these goddamn hacks are refugees from Wikipedia, thrown out for POV offences --Machinecurse 11:16, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I don't mind this much, since it doesnt' appear to be written by a five year old. --Chronarion 12:52, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/rewrite It needs to be spiced up a bit if we're going to keep it. Otherwise it's boring. --UnholySauce 13:14, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep See "How to be funny", below. Political satire is always going to piss people off and you can't see the humor in something when you're pissed off... that's just life. And it's not factual, either, if that matters. --Fazookus
- Requires more funny. I wrote how to be funny. Trust me in how to apply it. You need more funny. Your satire requires somewhat more satire, somewhat less bitter. --Chronarion 23:04, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
'Keep, but Modify I think its ok, but it needs a boat load of humor dumped upon it. --bdanials 03:21, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Karl Rove
Page redeemed. --Chronarion 22:12, 28 Mar 2005 (EST)
Video gaming
Redeemed --Uvula Donor 13:31, 28 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete articles like this make me suspect I've missed some really clever joke. But I don't think I have, I think it is just random crap --TheTris 06:18, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
rewrited the whole article, as always, you are very welcome to check, and do whatever you think you should do about it.
- Add --~~~~ at the end of what you are saying to add your name, otherwise no one can tell who you are without using history --Paulgb 13:26, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
rewrite again please... The joke, if any, just doesn't seem to work. Please try again, -- Anon
keep ... I think I get it. --22.214.171.124 13:49, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
keep It made me chuckle. --Morlark 23:06, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete/rewrite For those who think they get it: would you mind doing a bit of editing so the rest of us can?--184.108.40.206 01:05, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
done. (that 195... was me, I forgot to log in again) --Machinecurse 01:48, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Killed --PantsMacKenzie 15:58, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Unless I'm missing something, unfunny.--22.214.171.124 05:44, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete - not only is it unfunny, it is also orphined and a dead end. --Paulgb 07:43, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete --Rcmurphy 15:44, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Baleeted --PantsMacKenzie 15:57, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Factual.--188.8.131.52 03:41, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete - yup --Paulgb 07:41, 27 Mar 2005 (EST)
rewrite Uhh... links to some shop, totally incoherent, not funny in the least? Or am I just stupid? Maybe I don't see the inner beauty of the crap that is this entry? Maybe I should stop freebasing Plumber's caulk... --JHarr 14:13, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Please delete; this and several other pages were mass-spammed by 22.214.171.124 a few days ago. --DWIII 14:20, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Deleted - The page history showed a persistent pattern of spamming, as did the IP (which has been given a little vacation from Uncyclopedia access.) --Uvula Donor 14:30, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Recursivity and Recursive
Okay, these are like the retarded less funny cousins of infinite loop and recursion. --Chronarion 12:51, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete We have plenty of infinite loop pages already. --UnholySauce 13:14, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete is fine. --Chronarion 18:42, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete is done. --Uvula Donor 12:38, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Russel targ
Seems factual.
I suppose I should elaborate here. This is an amazon search for Russel targ--220.127.116.11 11:44, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete Listing his books and adding one line about "a thing for Uri Gellar" doesn't save it. He's a whacko, but a catalog of whackos isn't what we're trying for. --Uvula Donor 14:38, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
buhleet I concur. --JHarr 14:41, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
Imaginary numbers
Article redeemed, thanks to Algorithm --Uvula Donor 07:01, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete Silly premise and even sillier entry.--188.8.131.52 23:30, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite / Delete Imaginary numbers are funny, unlike this article. --bdanials 01:09, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite venomous anti-math tirade --Machinecurse 04:11, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Attempted a rewrite. Feel free to change/add/remove. --Algorithm 05:34, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Content clipped, article redirected to bukkake. --Uvula Donor 06:59, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete now remarkably unfunny and possibly libellous --Goomball 19:19, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
- What's the correct spelling: bukakkae or bukkake? Google is no help. --Uvula Donor 19:24, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
- Now that is a cool site, thankyouverymuch. So, I say we delete the poorly spelled and rather unfunny bukakkae and go with the funnier and more disgusting bukkake --Uvula Donor 22:04, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete and Redirect to bukkake--22.214.171.124 22:20, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Spay or Neuter before Deletion --bdanials 01:19, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Uncyclopedia:Pages for deletion
Please stop recommending Pages for deletion to be deleted. It's not going to happen. Quoting Chrono: "I shall make it clear that, no, we are absolutely not replacing VfD. --Chronarion 12:36, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)" 'K? --Uvula Donor 12:36, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
should be replaced by "need to be rewrited/improved/renamed pages list". Everything can be funny if you work enough on it. Izwalito 11:01, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
That really depends on what you have to work with. For some pages, it just gets to a point where it's easier to delete it and start over. --126.96.36.199 11:21, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
- to do that it is easier not to delete the page, but to blank it and start writing a new content. The best seems to list it. Many people voted here for rewrite or deletion, and in the meantime content has changed making the votes obsolete. It is only a matter of time. IMHO people asking for rewrite/deletion should act to improve content instead of removing content.
I don't think it's bad for people to put up clear indicators to the effect of "hey, we're shooting for higher standards than this, sorry, go on to the next one", which is what they're basicallly doing. Especially when a page gives the impression that someone is farting pages out without really caring if they're any good. Enough of that, and readers would just tire of the site. And it takes some time and thought to write a good one, so we can't just jump in and make improvements in every one we read. --18.104.22.168 13:06, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Perhaps, but the problem is, people visiting a public site expect to see funny things, and not a GIGANTIC smattering of articles that are trying to be funny. Further, when writing a page, alot of people will try to follow the existing joke on the page. However, this is not always the best idea. Often times, a blank page is much better, since people visiting will not feel restrained by the existing content. It is also not true that everything can be funny. There are certain things that will never be funny. These things include hate speech, like the fellow going around doing jew bashing. That will be deleted. One thing that you really have to remember is that we don't have the resources to keep every article. If we had a billion editors, we could keep everything and try to make it funnier. But we can't. The best we can do is remove the cruft and try to keep the whole of uncyclopedia funny. --Chronarion 13:06, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Right, my main point is we can't make these choices based on pity for the people who happen to not be as funny as they think they are, or wish they were. Crap is crap. --126.96.36.199 14:16, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Also, some pages are simply nigh-unrewritable. For a case in point, look down a couple centimeters - "Farper Pee"? There's not much you could put there that wouldn't be funnier somewhere else. If it's simply a case of bad writing, a rewrite is called for, but sometimes the concept of the article itself is a bad one, and deserves to be trashed. --126.96.36.199 18:28, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Sure guys, but what about the idea of replacing VfD by that list ?
Farper Pee
Redirected to Comedy.
Government inc.
Scratched. Other pages will be judged individually on their merits (or lack therof.) --Uvula Donor
And other pages by User:Izwalito
Sigh. --Chronarion 22:55, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
give it a chance to live, this is only the beginning, it could become better.
let's say is in a week, it has not got any better you'll add it for deletion k?
I plan to make a running joke on corporations and governments, but if you don't give me enough time to do it...
Delete Mostly too factual plus no one would ever think to enter that title in the search engine. --18.104.22.168 23:35, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
- will be linked to other articles in a few days
Someone pull grammar patrol with Izwalito, english is not his first language. Thanks. --Chronarion 00:25, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Grammar patrol?? Some of his entries need coherency patrol. --Uvula Donor 12:05, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Lula, Delilah
Delete Dull. --Goomball 19:25, 18 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite Lula Delilah was dumped. But Lula has the germ of a good idea. --Uvula Donor 20:30, 18 Mar 2005 (EST)
Vote unecessary, page redeemed. --Chronarion 13:07, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Collateral Damage
Article redeemed.
Again, an obvious agenda and radical political statement. Not funny either. Let's not all be like Janene Garaflogo. Well, come to think of it, Janene Garaflogo shouldn't be like Janene Garaflogo. --Savethemooses 18:51, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete -- adding lame silliness to a political diatribe doesn't make it funny --Pnorf 18:58, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
I just removed the references to the USA and made it less of a rant. It if you still want to delete it go ahead, but I think we should not just automatically get rid of all articles that have an agenda, if there is any hope of them being funny. Remember, flamewars are encouraged, and we are not trying to create an unbiased information source. --Paulgb 19:23, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Politically charged humor can be funny (whether from the left or right), but this article was an unfunny indictment of America, just as Bill of Wrongs was on the Republican Party. I still say Delete, primarily because it's unfunny but also because it is a microcosm of what much of comedy has become today: incessant bashing of America and the Republican Party, with the only punchline being "George Bush suckz0rz!!! ROFL" --Savethemooses (rare political edit, read it while it lasts!) 19:28, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I don't mind this now, since it's much less rant like. This looks flamewar worthy, which is why I vote keep. Agendas are okay, but VFD is not for agendas. Yaknow, it's fine to have an agenda when writing articles, but it's got to be amusing. As of now, it's at least slightly amusing, which is okay by me.--Chronarion 19:47, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete Still looks pretty ranty to me. I don't mind funny rants, but this one seems more over-the-top than funny. However, I'm willing to keep it around if it will incite a flamewar. Then I'll pull up a lawnchair and a beer, watch the sparks fly, and have a laugh or two. --Uvula Donor 21:03, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I took the liberty of removing the references to large right wing countries entirely, and replacing instances of that phrase with 'Denzel Washington'. It should be way better now. --Amos T. Frohawk 16:37, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I like the new version with some of the rabid foam wiped off. "Pissed off" isn't always funny, but it's OK now. --Uvula Donor 19:27, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I've considerably expanded it so the Michael Mooreisms are kind of hidden amidst some other stuff.--Machinecurse 04:09, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
No, GONE. --Uvula Donor 06:56, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
DeleteTotal waste of space that could be used for something funny --188.8.131.52 20:51, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete I agree. --Uvula Donor 20:54, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete --Rcmurphy 21:22, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete --MZL 08:00, 23 Mar 2005 (EST)
A loop of pages
Deleted --Paulgb 19:10, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
I was considering dropping these pages without VFD, because they are just an loop of (See:) pages and its not even part of the joke. But, since they are the creation of a registered user (who appears to have had some quality edits), I'm putting them up here: --Paulgb 15:40, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete --Paulgb 15:40, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete yawn --Pnorf 18:43, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Good Pages... FOR ME TO POOP ON!!! --Savethemooses 18:51, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete Not every edit is going to be a quality edit. I've considered these same pages for deletion, also. (Uh-oh!)--Uvula Donor 21:07, 22 Mar 2005 (EST)
Burger King
Delete/Rewrite What was that Chrono was saying about "agendas"? --Uvula Donor 07:53, 18 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite I dunno what agenda is being pushed, but it sure makes me hungry --Nytrospawn 23:41, 18 Mar 2005 (EST)
The original version of the page was an anti-fastfood, anti-meat-eating rant (hence the "agenda"). We've had at least one more of those since then. The fast-food articles seem to attract whackos. --Uvula Donor 23:48, 18 Mar 2005 (EST) Church
Doesn't make sense to me.
Rewrite It's a riff on "Church's Fried Chicken," a greasy-capon chain. The article could be better, though. --Uvula Donor 08:06, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete. What the heck is this? --stillwaters 23:24, 15 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/Rewrite Man, not even a picture --Nytrospawn 23:25, 15 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite. I actually like the nonsense about hats, but it looks like the guy spent about 4 minutes on this. --Kakapoet 24:54, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite I agree with Kakapoet. Just needs adding to--TheTris 05:00, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite Just needs a few additions. Like the hat pic I just provided (heh.) --Uvula Donor 08:17, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I like the bit at the end. --Chronarion 13:55, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep Man, it's almost really good. The picture helps a lot. --PantsMacKenzie 23:24, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I agree with Uvula --Paulgb 20:48, 17 Mar 2005 (EST)
Conclusion: Keep
Sticky end
Kept The idea of a plant disease with a naughty-sounding name being applied to humans has some potential, so I changed the tag to Rewrite and we'll leave it pending future review. Also, I have a couple ideas kicking around to expand it and make it funnier. --Uvula Donor 06:48, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/Rewrite --Nytrospawn 19:53, 15 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/Rewrite --Uvula Donor 21:22, 15 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep I don't understand why this is in vfd.--TheTris 05:00, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
- I put it in VFD becuase I dont think its very funny. --Nytrospawn 09:40, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite/Stub I don't get it. --Chronarion 13:57, 16 Mar 2005 (EST)
Kept vfd tag changed to rewrite tag. --Uvula Donor 06:45, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/Rewrite Kinda weak the way it is. --Uvula Donor 13:56, 15 Mar 2005 (EST)
Delete/Rewrite Seems a bit soul-less without at least a passing reference to Al Gore ;-) --Gadgeophile 13:58, 15 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep It's just fine now. You should first try to expand it before outright deleting it. --MasterofAeons 16:13, 17 Mar 2005 (EST)
Rewrite Interweb is a good term but the write up is weak. -- The Badmash 11:25, 20 Mar 2005 (GMT)
Keep/rewrite Not that bad. --Chronarion 22:22, 21 Mar 2005 (EST)
Stub, could use a rewrite, but mostly redeemed. --Uvula Donor 06:42, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Ouch, now I'm to be forked, too. I'll attempt to be funny funny in the future, at least until a can't stand it anymore and revert to my ham-handed attempts at satire. I do need to say that "United Spades of Amerika" is very painful for me to read (and I have a feeling that our host wrote that, and I'm not helping my cause, oops).--Fazookus 08:50, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
In that event, do not read it. --Chronarion 23:03, 26 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep It's not TOO factual, although not all that hilarious. Personally I think this is worthy of forking. i.e. two entries rather than revert war. I am forking. --Chronarion 23:28, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete Factual and not at all funny. --Uvula Donor 08:58, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
delete--22.214.171.124 09:26, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
revert to when it was an amusing pun about imps --Machinecurse 11:14, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Reverted. --Uvula Donor 11:58, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Keep --Fazookus "Factual!?!?!" Also, dude, I don't think 2 hours is long enough for voting, especially when 1/3 of the total votes is from the person who didn't like it in the first place. "Political Satire". Protected under the 1st Amendment (a real amendment, not one I made up) also from our Founding Fathers re: "Truth" and "imps":
Uncyclopedia:How To Be Funny And Not Just Stupid
The truth is often funnier than flat out nonsense. The funniest pages are those closest to the truth.
Keep that in mind when you write an article, and Things Will Be Good.
Often, a longer, but clever article is better than spamming the index full of thousands of small one liners about giraffes and bathtubs. It forces us to clean up the bad stuff. Please write good stuff. We are aware that from time to time, patent nonsense is hilarious, but we need to keep the signal to noise ratio a bit higher than it currently is.
Sorry to break your heart, but that article was not funny. --Uvula Donor 14:08, 24 Mar 2005
Technically, it was funny. Really really funny. I still can't think of it without giggling. I think the problem is you don't get it, the fact that you found it factual (in keeping with article 1 of "how to be funny") tends to support that --Fazookus
If it has to be qualified as "technically funny", it ain't funny. And pedantry isn't satire. --Uvula Donor 21:24, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Glad that it was reverted and a tip to Fazookus: try being funny before declaring that you are as such. If you need help on being funny, click here. 0_- --Savethemooses 18:23, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Look, guys, it's satire, the premise is that Newt and his pals realized that they had the votes to impeach Clinton and they funded someone willing to do that, even though the final report had nothing to do with what what they started out to prove. A very successful strategy, got them more seats in the next election (please take note of the timing...) so joke is that now both parties are going to have to do follow that strategy or they'll be buried.
Bet you're a riot at parties. --Uvula Donor
Read the [flamewar manual (http://mrpalmguru.com/uncyclopedia/index.php?title=Flamewar_Guidelines%7C)], please, be constructive, a Wiki is big enough to hold more than one type of humor and there's room for satire and puns about imps and whatever else.--Fazookus 20:35, 24 Mar 2005 (EST)
Sure we takes all kinds of humor. Just not the unfunny kind. --Savethemooses 14:47, 25 Mar 2005 (EST)


text:
Events Calendar
Back to All Events
Earlier Event: December 6Stitch and Beach at MadWool
Later Event: December 8Learn to Knit Thursdays with Mary 5-7 PM, 3rd Sweater Class-7-9 PM
Use the form on the right to contact us.
You can edit the text in this area, and change where the contact form on the right submits to, by entering edit mode using the modes on the bottom right.
56 Wall Street
Madison, CT 06443
Welcome to Madison Wool! We are a fiber lover's paradise, with fine yarns for hand knitting plus one of a kind, handspun art yarns that you cannot find anywhere else!


text:
Warstic's Workman2 Adult Batting Gloves are ready for battle. Updated and improved breathable, lightweight polyester on front of hand allows for flexibility without restriction. Reinforced goatskin leather on palm and thumbs. Sticky palm and fingers give long-lasting grip through all weather conditions and adjustable wrist straps provide extra support. Protective rubber Warstic logo on back of hand.
Made from: 53% genuine leather, 36% nylon, 4% polyurethane, 3% spandex, 2% polyester, and 2% latex.
Visit our FAQ page to find answers to our most commonly asked questions.
Do you have the Warstic mentality?
In a game where we deal with failure so often, a true offensive master realizes that the real battle is in the mind. How we bounce back from every setback largely determines what kind of player you become. Read more here or watch the videos below.


text:
How to Use the Context
Inquiry Question
Most Spanish settlers established themselves on ranchos, or ranches, where they soon developed a distinct culture centered around cattle-raising. To stimulate colonization, the Spanish, and later the Mexican, government issued huge land grants. During the Spanish period these were awarded mostly to retired soldiers. A grant entitled the individual to live on and work the land, but it did not convey ownership. One soldier, Manuel Nieto, was granted 167,000 acres on which he raised cattle. Today, a small piece of this land grant is preserved and open to the public as Rancho Los Alamitos Historic Ranch and Gardens.
In 1821, after the Mexican government took control of California, the number of land grants increased as did the number of residents of non-Hispanic birth or descent. Some land grants were awarded to foreignersmostly Americanswho were willing to become Mexican citizens. Many Californios (Spanish settlers in what is now the state of California) had little use for Mexico and engaged in sporadic revolts during the 1830s and 1840s. Then came the Mexican-American War and the 1848 Treaty of Guadalupe-Hidalgo. Under this agreement, Mexico ceded huge tracts of land in the Southwest to the United States. Called the Mexican Cession, these territories together constituted the largest single land acquisition by the United States since the Louisiana Purchase of 1803. Although the rancho system was maintained, within 20 years control of most ranchos had passed into the hands of Americans by purchase, force, or fraud.
In 1846, approximately 11,500 of California's 14,000 non-indigenous residents were of Spanish or Mexican descent. By 1850, two years after the discovery of gold in the northern part of the territory, Spanish-speaking Californians were only 15 percent of the non-Indian population; by 1870, only 4 percent. However, change came more slowly in the southern region of California. The few Americans who had settled in Southern California prior to its transfer to the United States to some extent had attempted to integrate themselves into the local culture. Frequently, they married into prominent Californio families, learned at least rudimentary Spanish, and converted to the Roman Catholic religion. Until the 1870s, Mexican Californians remained a sizable portion of the residents and voters in Southern California. Eventually, however, the press of the growing population of non-Hispanos and economic changes destroyed an old way of life.


text:
I am just now installing. I am new to programming (flame, if you feel it necessary) and thought this "portable" platform would be a good place to learn while standing in the grocery line.
Now, my problem. I have installed PocketC and am moving on to install the ColorCcontrols.
I have the 5 Ccontrol*.c memos ... but I cannot get CControls example to compile. My error reads:
File Ccontrols1.c
Line 199
) expected
When I Goto that place ... it does not seem, TO ME, that a ")" is needed. What am I doing wrong? Have I botched the install? This might prove a disappointing experience if I cannot even get Orbworks "perfect" applications to compile, right out of the box.
Thank you for help.
Struggling to make it.


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What happens when supermarkets connect to the internet?
When the retail sector fully uses the power of the internet, we might see shelves and inventories talk directly to produce, farms, shopping carts and customers' refrigerators. With the entire supply chain networked, information will flow freely, and the things we buy will talk to other things in intelligent ways to remove the mundane, transform the shopping experience and make people's lives better.


text:
March 31, 2007
Santa Barbara, Calif. - The No. 5 UC Santa Barbara men's volleyball team hit a scorching .447 en route to a 3-0 sweep over un-ranked Stanford Saturday in Mountain Pacific Sports Federation action at Robertson Gymnasium. Senior opposite hitter Evan Patak tallied a match-high 18 kills to bring his career total to 1,987.
Scores of the match went 30-25, 30-26, and 30-26 as the Gauchos improved to 17-10 overall and 12-7 in MPSF play. The Cardinal dropped to 3-21 and 2-16.
UCSB dropped in 61 kills with 15 errors in 103 attacks. It was the first time the Gauchos had hit over .400 since Feb. 17 when they swung at .462 in a three-game win over Long Beach State. Santa Barbara upped its season hitting percentage to .360 and is on pace to break the school's single season record of .348 set in 2002.
Patak hit .452 and added two digs, two blocks, and an ace. With just 13 kills to go for 2,000 in his career, Patak would become just the second Gaucho in school history to accomplish the feat. Donny Harris (1994-97) is UCSB's all-time kills leader with 2,114.
The Gauchos got solid play from their middles as Theo Brunner put away 14 kills and hit .650 and David Kennedy had seven kills and a match-best five blocks. Outside Bryan Berman totaled 11 kills and hit .526, while he and libero Tyson Norton each had a match-high nine digs. Sophomore setter Max Klineman, who has gotten the starting nod in UCSB's last two matches, racked up 52 assists and four blocks.
Stanford, which entered the match hitting under .200 for the season, posted a .333 percentage tonight. The Cardinal was led by Evan Romero's 14 kills and three service aces. Matt Ceran and Kawika Shoji each had 12 kills, while Shoji and Jarod Keller finished with six digs apiece. Setter Miki Groppi had 39 assists.
Stanford led briefly in the opening game as Shoji had the first kill of the night, but UCSB quickly rolled to a 9-5 lead following kills from Aaron Richman and Brunner. Another Richman kill put UCSB up 15-10. The Cardinal got within two points twice, once at 20-18 and again at 26-24, but a Brunner kill and a Stanford hitting error put UCSB back up by four at 28-24. Following a Gaucho service error, Brunner had a kill and a triple block by Kennedy, Klineman, and Berman put the game away.
Stanford again took an early 1-0 lead in the second frame, but two straight kills by Brunner put UCSB ahead. Romero evened the game 3-3 with a kill, but Berman returned the favor and put the Gauchos up for good.
The third game stayed within one or two points until Brunner had a kill followed by an ace to put UCSB up by four at 23-19. Stanford pulled back within two points twice, but could not close the gap any further.
UCSB swept the season series with Stanford as it took a 3-0 victory Jan. 13 at Stanford. The Gauchos have won the last seven contests between the two squads dating back to the 2004 season.
Santa Barbara plays its final regular season home match April 6 against No. 8 Cal State Northridge (7 p.m.).


text:
Find us on:
6110 Executive Boulevard, Suite 1010Rockville, MD 20852
1-800-638-8299 (Voice - Toll-free)301-881-3052 (Voice)301-881-0898 (FAX)1-866-300-2900 (Voice - Toll-free Spanish)
The American Kidney Fund was founded in 1971 to save the life of one person who needed help paying for dialysis. Forty years later, AKF has become the leading source of direct, treatment-related financial assistance to people in the United States who are living with chronic kidney disease. In 2010, AKF provided treatment-related financial assistance to more than 101,000 dialysis patients nationwide. The work of the American Kidney Fund goes beyond financial assistance. It is also AFK's mission to provide health education to people with, and at risk for, kidney disease.
The American Kidney Fund publishes a broad selection of pamphlets on kidney disease with topics ranging from diet to transplantation in English and Spanish. Serial Publications: American Kidney Fund Advocacy Newsletter; Reaching Out, the American Kidney Fund's e-newsletter.
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Language Assistance Available


text:
WASHINGTON (Reuters) - U.S. House Republican leaders will outline their principles for immigration reform at a party meeting this week, House Speaker John Boehner said on Tuesday.
Immigration reform advocates, who saw their hopes dashed in 2013 for major legislation, have been waiting for the House Republican leadership to take such a step.
Boehner did not give any details of the principles, nor did he promise specific legislative action in the near term.
"We're going to outline our standards, principles of immigration reform and have a conversation with members," Boehner told a news conference after a party meeting near the U.S. Capitol.
"Once we talk to our members, we'll have more to say about how we move forward," Boehner said.
Boehner told his rank-and-file party members earlier this month that the party leaders were getting ready to lay out a framework for immigration reform.
Last year began on a similarly upbeat note after President Barack Obama cruised to re-election the previous November with the support of more than 70 percent of Hispanic voters, who have been clamoring for immigration reform.
The Democratic-run Senate last June passed a sweeping immigration bill that would give millions of undocumented immigrants a pathway to U.S. citizenship. The legislation has languished in the House, where Republicans have the majority.
House Democratic Whip Steny Hoyer, a supporter of overhauling U.S. immigration laws, said Democrats looked forward to seeing the Republican principles and getting a chance to vote on immigration reform.
"We are very hopeful, and we urge our Republican colleagues to bring to the floor that which they support," Hoyer told reporters.
Senior Republican aides have said the House does not plan to pass a comprehensive bill like the Senate did. Instead, House Republicans will approach the subject "step by step," they say.
They have said the immigration reform framework could discuss the need for better U.S. border controls and beefing up interior security so that companies cannot easily hire undocumented workers.
Perhaps the most challenging principle to be addressed is what to do about the 11 million immigrants already in the United States illegally, many brought here as children.
And while Republicans are interested in getting more votes from Latinos, some Republicans fear that raising the controversial issue in a mid-term congressional election year could put unnecessary strains on the party.
Reporting by Susan Cornwell; Editing by Doina Chiacu and Andrew Hay


text:
if all magnets have to have two poles(one north one south), is it possible to construct a hollow sphere where the inside face of the sphere was one pole, and the outside face another pole?
is it also possible to make a magnetic sphere (not hollow) where the outside face is one pole?
If both of these ideas are possible, what would happen if we put a small sphere (non hollow) inside of a hollow sphere, where the polarity of the hollower sphere's inside face was the same as the polarity of the smaller ball? the ball would levitate theoretically, but what if the magnets were so strong that they pushed the ball more and more into the center until it had nowhere else to move?


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|Type of Review
|Undergraduate/Graduate Levels
|Standards for Academic Review (SAR) - Academic
|Warning, Suspension, Probation, (appeal approved), Dismissal (if no plan is received or criteria not met)
|Satisfactory Academic Progress (SAP) - Financial
|Warning, Suspension, Probation(appeal approved)
There are two types of academic review performed each term by the Registrar's and Student Finance offices. These are separate review processes and it is possible that a student's status may not be the same under each review category. The Standards for Academic Review (SAR) process is monitored on a term by term basis and reviews the cumulative GPA and Completion Ratio. The review is designed to assist a student in meeting academic standards to facilitate successful completion of his or her degree program. The process requires the student to meet with his or her academic advisor and open a dialogue about current term grades and obstacles. Since the goal of SAR is to ensure the success of the student, there is no appeal process. If the student disagrees with the status, the appropriate means of expressing that is the academic plan.
The Satisfactory Academic Progress (SAP) review performed by the Student Finance Office adheres to the financial aid regulations regarding GPA and pace minimum requirements.
Federal regulations require that a student receiving title IV financial aid funds maintain specific standards in his or her academic program in order to remain eligible to receive these federal financial aid resources. These standards are called Satisfactory Academic Progress (SAP). SAP is defined as passing a required number of hours and achieving a required grade point average during a reasonable period of time. Regulations require that a student's entire academic history be considered, including periods of time where financial aid was not received. These standards of satisfactory academic progress apply only to eligibility for financial aid, and not necessarily to eligibility for continuation at the University, or for readmission to the University.
The standards for both types of review are passing grades of A, B, C, D, P, or X in at least 67% of courses attempted and the maintenance of a cumulative GPA of at least 2.00 for undergraduate students and 3.00 for graduate students. "Courses attempted" include withdrawals (WW, WS, WF, WU or WN), in-progress (I, IE, IN, IU), no credit (N), and failing (U, F, FX). You can view the policies for each review at the links below:
Frequently Asked Questions
1) Why do I need to adhere to these academic standards?
If you are placed on SAR, it allows you and your advisor to open a dialogue about obstacles you may be facing. You can learn about the resources available at NLU that can help you overcome any difficulties that may be preventing you from achieving better grades and making progress towards successful degree completion.
SAP requirements are federally mandated. For students placed on SAP, it encourages the same conversation about obstacles, available NLU resources and the grades needed to boost the cumulative GPA and pace to avoid Financial Aid Suspension.
2) How is PACE or Completion Ratio calculated?
PACE and Completion Ratio refer to the number of credit hours successfully completed versus attempted. Undergraduate and Graduate students must both receive passing grades of A, B, C, D, P, or X in at least 67% of courses attempted. "Courses attempted" include withdrawals (WW, WS, WF, WU, or WN), in-progress (I, IE, IN, IU), no credit (N), and failing (U, F, FX).
3) What grade point average (GPA) is used to determine SAR or SAP?
For SAR and SAP, the cumulative GPA is the one reviewed. The cumulative GPA can be found on the transcript in the student portal. Undergraduate students must maintain a minimum 2.0 GPA and Graduate students must maintain a minimum 3.0 GPA.
4) When do I need to submit an Academic Plan form?
If you are placed on Academic Suspension because you have not met the criteria for good standing for two consecutive terms, you must submit an academic plan in conjunction with your advisor. The purpose of this plan is to outline what you must do to return to good standing at NLU. This plan can also be submitted as part of the SAP (financial aid) appeal.
Because the purpose of the Academic Plan form is to help you get back on track to good standing, you must complete this Plan within two weeks of receiving the academic suspension letter through your NLU email. An example of the Academic Plan can be found below but this is just a sample and will not be accepted. Please contact your advisor to fill out the official plan.
5) When do I need to appeal SAP Suspension?
A student placed on SAP Suspension can appeal if he or she opts to and must submit the required documentation at least two weeks prior to his or her term end date. If the appeal is approved, the student is then eligible for Financial Aid as long as he or she follows the terms of the academic plan.
A student may only appeal Financial Aid Suspension once. If an appeal is approved and the student does not adhere to the academic plan requirements financial aid eligibility will be suspended until the student again returns to meeting SAP requirements.
6) How do I appeal?
The student will work with his or her advisor to complete the Academic Plan form and submit a letter explaining the reasons he or she was placed on SAP suspension and how he or she plans to overcome those obstacles in the subsequent terms. The letter should explain any medical, personal or financial issues that affected the prior term coursework and why those difficulties will no longer impede academic progress. Any supporting documentation should be submitted along with the academic plan and appeal letter. All appeal documentation must be submitted to your academic advisor. Only complete appeals will be reviewed so sending all required documentation at one time is required. The appeal letter must also be signed by the student.
7) When will I be notified of the SAP appeal decision?
The student will receive an email to the NLU email account from his or her advisor within 3 days notifying him or her of the decision or if the appeal needs more documentation. Please sign the plan and submit a complete plan and appeal if needed for SAP to receive a response within 3 days. If the appeal is denied, a student may seek out private student loans or establish payment arrangements with the Student Finance Office to cover the tuition costs or work with his or her advisor on dropping the current term courses.
8) If my appeal is accepted, what is my financial aid eligibility?
The student will receive Financial Aid as long as he or she is adhering to the signed academic plan submitted to the SAP committee. When a student raises his or her GPA or PACE to the minimum federal standards, then he or she will no longer be on SAP Probation.
9) Am I allowed to appeal if I'm Academically Dismissed?
A student dismissed for reasons of academic ineligibility may direct his or her written appeal to the University Registrar after two terms of non-enrollment. The appeal may be submitted by the end of the second term of non-enrollment and must include documentation of any exceptional circumstances. The Registrar will respond to the appeal in accordance with the University's Policy on Academic Appeals. If the request is submitted after one year of non-enrollment, the request will be subject to the Reentry Policy requirements.
A student can appeal the dismissal by submitting a signed letter explaining why he or she should not be dismissed. A student may appeal for mitigating circumstances such as an injury or illness of the student or the death of a student's relative. The appeal letter, along with supporting documentation and the signed academic plan, should be sent to the Registrar's Office at email@example.com. All appeal documents must be received no later than three weeks before the start of the term in which the student wishes to return. The merit of the appeal will be determined and the student will be notified in writing of the final decision. If the appeal is approved the student will be permitted to reenroll in term three, following the two terms of non-enrollment. The student will be able to continue future enrollment as long as he or she is meeting the conditions of the academic plan.


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Thursday, March 31, 2011
Do Yourselves A Favor...
Labels: books
a great man passes
for a six year period, beginning my sophomore year in college and for several years after i graduated, i practiced grandmaster sun's style of tae kwon do at least six days a week. i had the honor of meeting grandmaster sun on many occasions and have always been proud of the association. i met him when he would come to my school to administer testing for advancement and also on three or four times when i was able to take a class at his school in new york city. i can remember every story i ever heard him tell. that period of my life, the people i knew in tae kwon do, remain among my happiest memories.
a good biography and characterization of grandmaster son can be found here. there is a photo of him here. he was an exceptionally fine human being.
it's your own fault there are no jobs
so why did companies send those jobs overseas if u.s. workers are so productive?
thursday thought process
no surprise here: studies show heartbreak actually physically hurts
yikes! japanese radiation found in california milk
republicans want to run the government like a business
birther impersonates obama online, acceses records. might just be in trouble
mike huckabee thinks americans shuold be indoctrinated at gunpoint
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
skippy's wednesday night music club
Labels: skippy's music club, youtube
nuclear apathy
Labels: music
yes...i'm still here
they say that depression is anger turned inward....i guess i just need to work on sending it outward again.
no ted barlows disease for me.
Labels: depression, ted barlow disease
question of the day
every once in awhile
Labels: cars, eletricity, environment
a boy and a girl...maybe an aluminum cat
so i was listening to some iggy pop on youtube when i remembered robots for ronnie. i searched youtube and there it was. turns out it's a song by crack the sky, a group i can't remember for the life of me. and now, for your listening pleasure, i present the song that has haunted me for 30+ years...robots for ronnie:
wednesday ins day
how many kinds of birtherism are there? let adam sewer count the ways
marketwatch op-ed: tax the super-rich now or face a revolution
luckily this obviously doesn't apply to skippy's fans: 1 in 7 adults in the usa can't read
fewer and fewer workers are willing to go into the ailing fukushima nuclear plant
hey, abc: howard dean may be a lot of things, but he ain't a senator!
and, remember that cobra that escaped from the bronx zoo? he's got a twitter account
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
great speech last night
oh i used to be disgusted, and now i try to be amused. (i find myself quoting that line from elvis costello more and more as time goes by...as time goes by, there's another good song.)
tuesday tidings
are rick acott's educational cuts unconstitutional?
largest prison corporation in america basically wrote the arizona anti-immigration bill
robo-stock trading makes warren buffet's company shoot up whenever anne hathaway gets press
green party wins big in germany
Monday, March 28, 2011
monday mastication
austerity? pa. paper asks where's the shared sacrifice from pennsylvania's most powerful people?
meanwhile, corporate profits were at an all-time high in 2010
the koch brothers: billionaire self-pity
wisconsin supreme court justice, gov. walker ally, loses hometown paper endorsement
thinkprogress has a short history of voter supression
india's tiger population rises
praise the lard? obesity linked to religion in young adults
yikes! cobra escapes from the bronx zoo
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Other Music...
Labels: music
sumptuous sunday
but john cole holds the dissenting view
major fire cancels flights for days at the miami airpot
wisconsin organizers say they've got enough signatures for a randy hopper recall election
And Now...
Labels: music
Saturday, March 26, 2011
online information
Labels: music
Labels: it is what it is
saturday matters day
it's not bad enough that a dilbert cartoon is sexist; but the mind-blower is how misogynistic scott adams turns out to be
bob herbert is leaving the nytimes
in these days of waning labor rights, it behooves us to think about the reforms that came out of the triangle shirtwaist fire of 100 years ago


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My computer is a 15" Macbook Pro with Retina display, and I'm on OS X version 10.8.2. I have had this my computer for several months.
In the past few days, the computer has been completely "hanging", where nothing moves on the screen except the mouse pointer. If I was on a Skype call, the call goes on like normal, but I can't do anything else on my computer. Gestures don't work, so I can't switch desktops. I can't use my keyboard to quit the current application. I can't click on anything. The entire screen is completely unresponsive. The only way out is to force the computer to shut down. Then it boots up normally. It's only been happening recently, and I haven't been able to identify the cause.
Could it just be a bug that Apple needs to fix? Is there a process/app that could cause this to happen? How do I determine what caused the computer to hang?
Edit: In the Console, I do see this message many times before the reboot:
1/12/13 7:03:46.000 PM kernel[0]: vtd[0] fault: device 1:0:0 reason 0x5 W:0x1130e000
I have no idea what this means, but I thought it might be related because it does happen immediately before the bootup entry.
Edit 2: On other freezes, I see this message before a boot:
1/12/13 9:06:51.000 PM kernel[0]: NVDA(OpenGL): Channel exception! exception type = 0xd = GR: SW Notify Error
Edit 3: The problem was a faulty graphics card. I sent my computer in to Apple a while ago and they replaced the logic board, and when I got it back everything was hunky dory.


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union(redirected from Union (disambiguation))
Also found in: Dictionary, Thesaurus, Medical, Encyclopedia.
union(Labor organization), noun affiliation, alliance of workers, amalgamation, association, brotherhood, consociation, council, federation, fellowship, guild, league, organization, organized labor, sodality, trade association
Associated concepts: anti-union animus, craft union, internaaional union, labor union, local union, trade union, union membership, union shop
union(Unity), noun accord, accordance, agreement, coalition, coherence, combination, concert, concord, congregatio, connection, consensus, consociatio, consolidation, cooperation, coupling, fusion, harmony, joining, junction, oneness, unification, unison
See also: abutment, accession, adhesion, agreement, alliance, assemblage, association, body, cabal, cartel, centralization, chain, chamber, coaction, coalescence, coalition, cohabitation, coherence, collusion, combination, compact, compatibility, composition, conciliation, confederacy, conformity, conjunction, connection, consensus, consolidation, consortium, contact, contribution, cooperative, corporation, coverture, federation, incorporation, institute, integration, intersection, joinder, league, loyalty, marriage, matrimony, meeting, melange, merger, nexus, pact, pool, reconciliation, relationship, session, society, sodality, syndicate
UNION. By this word is understood the United States of America; as, all good citizens will support the Union.


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D7: AT&T Plans Big Network Upgrades, Variable Pricing
The second day of the D conference started out with an interview with AT&T Chairman Randall Stephenson, who defended the quality of the AT&T network and talked about how the network would get faster over the next few years. He talked a lot about the iPhone, and did talk about how variable pricing for mobile data was likely to happen in the next few years.
Conference host Walt Mossberg showed a slide that said the number one reason people were not buying an iPhone was that they didn't want AT&T, (although that only accounted for 21 percent in the survey). Stephenson agreed that network quality is the number one reason for churn, and he talked about how AT&T was making a lot of major investments in its network, such as announcing HSPA 7.2 support earlier today.
Mossberg pushed on whether the network was ready for the iPhone 3G, and while Stephenson agreed that things were improving, he said it was ready. In what seemed to surprise Mossberg, most of the D audience seemed to be happy with AT&T service. But he said he was getting complaints from readers about the AT&T network. Stephenson said the level of data volume changes customer behavior radically - he said AT&T was feeling pretty good about its ability to handle larger data, and said he thought the company was a year ahead of its competitors.
The network isn't ready for where mobile devices are heading, Stephenson agreed. It needs new spectrum such as the 700 MHz band, and new technologies such as LTE (a "4G" standard) that uses spectrum more efficiently. He said it was "all about data, all about speed," with LTE performance possible up to 20 Mbps plus. (Later, Stephenson talked about all the other things that impact performance, from weather to distance to number of people using it.) He said there would be limited tests in 2010 and more in 2011, with 2012 being likely for the big roll out. In between, he said the current 3G network would be upgraded "aggressively" to HSPA 7.2, with a maximum speed of 7Mpbs. Of course, most current devices won't support that network.
In many cases, he said, the limiting factor was the backhaul - the connections to the cell sites via fiber or other connections.
Stephenson said that fixed line broadband would be a stable market because it has much higher capacity; and that mobile was important to lots of people. In between, he pushed the idea of Wi-Fi hotspots, such as the company's 20,000 spots, many of which came with its purchase of Wayport. Currently he says 38% of the traffic on the company's Wi-Fi is now coming from smart phones. He also said the company was working on automatically authentication so you didn't need a two step process to sign on in places like Starbucks, later this year.
Stephenson said that the enterprise market and the consumer market, specifically wired phones, were declining in this economy. The priority for investment is wireless infrastructure and getting more broadband to homes and business with U-verse, which brings fiber to the neighborhood. He said the company had 1.3 million video customers on its U-verse platform, which today passes 18 million homes. It will grow to pass 30 million homes in the next few years, and he said the company has plans to increase capacity to 40 to 50 Mbps this year. But he noted that his competitors were investing as well, both other wireless and cable companies.
The iPhone has worked out "terrific" he said, for both Apple and AT&T. He said the iPhone has "changed the face of wireless communications" and given AT&T customers who spend $100 a month and have very little churn. Pricing models will change over time, depending on how much data customers use, he said. There's a "variable cost" for wireless data, as opposed to fixed wired data, and that will be reflected in pricing.
He also said it was important for AT&T to have a broad selection of devices, including those from many vendors. He said he expected there to be lots of mobile platforms for a long time to come. In the long term, he said, people will have all sorts of devices connected to the network.


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Townsend among 8 women with wild cards for US Open
NEW YORK (AP) — Taylor Townsend, Grace Min, Nicole Gibbs and Danielle Collins are among eight players receiving wild-card invitations for the U.S. Open women's draw.
Townsend is an 18-year-old from Chicago who is a former junior No. 1 and reached the third round at the French Open this year. Min won the 2011 U.S. Open girls' title, while Gibbs and Collins are NCAA champions.
Other wild-card entries announced Tuesday by the U.S. Tennis Association are past Wimbledon and Australian Open junior finalist Madison Brengle, USTA girls' national champion CiCi Bellis, Australia's Jarmila Gajdosova and France's Amandine Hesse.
The U.S. Open, the year's last Grand Slam tournament, starts Aug. 25.


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*Please contact dealer to verify price, options, and other vehicle details.
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Select vehicles are certifiable see dealer for details and cost. Payments are for well-qualified buyers with approved credit. Consumers may not qualify for all incentives and rebates see dealer for complete details. Please contact dealer to verify price options and other vehicle details. We attempt to ensure the accuracy of all information on the site however errors may occur please verify all the information with the representative of Plattner Automotive Group. Plus tax, tag, title documentary fees dealer installed items or reconditioning.
**Plattner's Trade Assist of up to $2,000 may be included in the price of any pre-owned vehicle with a value over $10,000. Must trade in a vehicle with a minimum value of at least $8,000 to qualify. Fleet & Commercial vehicles/sales excluded.**


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Informed Consent
Achieving informed consent
Informed consent is a process that begins with the recruitment and screening of a human subject and continues throughout the subject's involvement in the research. The principles of informed consent rest with respect for persons. Each individual has the right to decide whether to participate in research, and each individual must be given all relevant information and have their questions answered before they make a decision to participate in research. The following information must be provided to subjects, in keeping with federal law (45 CFR 46.116(b)):
- A statement that the study involves research, an explanation of the purposes of the research and the expected duration of the subject's participation, a description of the procedures to be followed, and identification of any procedures which are experimental;
- A description of any reasonably foreseeable risks or discomforts to the subject [Understanding Risk];
- A description of any benefits to the subject or to others which may reasonably be expected from the research;
- A disclosure of appropriate alternative procedures or courses of treatment, if any, that might be advantageous to the subject;
- A statement describing the extent, if any, to which confidentiality of records identifying the subject will be maintained;
- For research involving more than minimal risk, an explanation as to whether any compensation and an explanation as to whether any medical treatments are available if injury occurs and, if so, what they consist of, or where further information may be obtained;
- An explanation of whom to contact for answers to pertinent questions about the research and research subjects' rights, and whom to contact in the event of a research-related injury to the subject; and
- A statement that participation is voluntary, refusal to participate will involve no penalty or loss of benefits to which the subject is otherwise entitled, and the subject may discontinue participation at any time without penalty or loss of benefits to which the subject is otherwise entitled.
One of the following statements about any research that involves the collection of identifiable private information or identifiable biospecimens:
(i) A statement that identifiers might be removed from the identifiable private information or identifiable biospecimens and that, after such removal, the information or biospecimens could be used for future research studies or distributed to another investigator for future research studies without additional informed consent from the subject or the legally authorized representative, if this might be a possibility; or
(ii) A statement that the subject's information or biospecimens collected as part of the research, even if identifiers are removed, will not be used or distributed for future research studies.
Informed consent does not end once a subject signs an agreement to participate. It is, rather, a process that starts with recruitment and continues to the completion of the project. Researchers make a commitment to ensure that subjects have their questions answered and their concerns addressed at any point in a study and that they continue to consent in their participation.
Documenting informed consent
In most instances, informed consent must be documented by an agreement with each participant in a research project. The law requires that the consent form be signed by the participant or their legal representative, or under appropriate conditions (45 CFR 46.117(b)(2)), presented orally and signed by a witness.
Federal law allows for a waiver of signed consent documentation only in special circumstances. An IRB may waive the requirement for the investigator to obtain a signed consent form for some or all subjects if it finds either:
- That the only record linking the subject and the research would be the consent document and the principal risk would be potential harm resulting from a breach of confidentiality. Each subject will be asked whether the subject wants documentation linking the subject with the research, and the subject's wishes will govern; or
- That the research presents no more than minimal risk of harm to subjects and involves no procedures for which written consent is normally required outside of the research context.
In cases in which the documentation requirement is waived, the IRB may require the investigator to provide subjects with an oral or written statement regarding the research (45 CFR 46.117(c)). The exception to a signed consent agreement is most often granted in cases of anonymous online surveys that present no more than minimal risk to participants. More information is available at Human Subjects Research and the Internet. For such surveys, the IRB typically requires a written statement with the necessary information provided to participants prior to the commencement of the survey. Consult the IRB administrator for more information about documentation waivers.
For more information, visit the Informed Consent site of the federal Office of Human Research Protections.


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ECW: Return of the Funker DVD-R
DVD-R Version
Please verify you have a compatible player before purchasing our DVD-R titles. We are not responsible for the compatibility of your player to our DVD-R titles.
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1. The Pitbulls vs. Chad Austin & Joel Heartgood
2. Tommy Dreamer and Raven brawl
3. Mikey Whipwreck & Hack Myers vs. Jason & Paul Lauria
4. Hector Guerrero vs. Too Cold Scorpio
5. Ian Rottenvs. Axl Rotten(Barbed Wire Bat Match)
6. Marty Janetty vs. Shane Douglas
7. Sabu & Taz vs. Chris Benoit & Dean Malenko
8. Cactus Jackvs. DC Drake
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maig 3
Australia's first IRONMAN 70.3 race on one of the sport's most storied courses.
OpenRegister ▻
The two iconic Australian events will be held on 3 May 2020 at the New South Wales seaside city, creating a real IRONMAN Festival. Read more >
IRONMAN 70.3 Port Macquarie remains one of the Oceania region's leading, and most enduring, triathlon events.
The superb course offers a unique challenge set along Port Macquarie's spectacular waterfront and throughout the scenic coastal region.
Swim the calm protected waters of Hastings river, ride along the Pacific ocean, and run in the heart of Port Macquarie – a course renowned for its energetic sideline support from the local community.
Athletes love Port Macquarie… Out of 105 global races the event was voted:
Nestled on the Mid North Coast of New South Wales, halfway between Sydney and Brisbane, in a region renowned for its natural beauty, Port Macquarie is one of Australia's favourite holiday spots and the perfect place to have a Race-cation!
What better way to start your Race-cation then discovering the region has over 52+ things to do whether it be a mild to wild experience. For the adrenalin enthusiasts there are jet skis, jet boat rides,
With golden beaches, lush rainforests, stunning hinterland and an abundant of wildlife, all at your doorstep, Greater Port Macquarie is the perfect place to train, compete and recover and make your IRONMAN 70.3 Port Macquarie the best experience.
Fast Track your way to the IRONMAN 70.3 World Championship in Taupō 2020 by entering IRONMAN 70.3 Port Macquarie. Qualification slots have been DOUBLED to 80. Double the slots means double the chance!
Over 5,000 athletes will descend on Great Lake Taupō on November 28 – 29 and you will want to one of them. Demand for every race will be high, so make enter early before the racel sells out.
Available on Apple and Android Download here.
The App has everything you need to know about the event as an athlete or a spectator.


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100 Qualifying slots plus 25 Women For Tri Slots등록하기 ▻
IRONMAN Live will feature live and exclusive online coverage of IRONMAN 70.3 Taupo. With live race updates, photography and athlete tracking – IRONMAN Live will have the event covered. Tune into www.ironman.com for all the latest updates and information.
DO NOT ride, drive or run beside a competitor on any part of the course. This is outside assistance and can lead to disqualification of that competitor.
DO NOT use permanent paint or crayon for graffiti on any road. Chalk is acceptable but where
permanent paint graffiti is identified to a competitor, that competitor will be disqualified.
DO make sure your competitor has read and knows the Triathlon Rules pertaining to this race, and has
thoroughly read this booklet.
DO make sure your competitor keeps his/her Competitor Bib # secured to clothing and takes his/her timing band on race morning as this race is timed with a chip.
If you need to drive to the race start, please consider parking in the town centre. There is free parking available behind McDonalds and the BP Service Station on HeuHeu Street. Please note there is no access to Redoubt Street and NO parking available in the Great Lake Centre car park on event day.
ROAD CLOSURE for Ironman 70.3 Taupo, Approved by TDC.
Date: 9th December 2017
Event Times: 0615 – 1500,
Tongariro Street Road Closure (Spa Road Roundabout to Ruapehu Street) 0430 to 1500
Tamamutu Street Road Closure (Ruapehu Street to Tongariro Street Lake Side only) 0430 to 1300
(Kaimanawa Street to Titiraupanga Street) 0700 to 1300
Motutaiko Street Road Closure: (Spa Road to Tamamutu Street) 0700 to 1300
Broadlands Road Closure: (Landfill Access to Rotorua Boundary) 0600 to 1230
Centennial Drive Road Closure: (Broadlands Road to Rakaunui Road) 0600 to 0830.
Storey Place Limited Access 0400 to 1400
Ferry Rd Road Closure: (Access to Boat Harbour via Redoubt St) 0530 – 1500
Bus Stop on Tongariro Street to be relocated to Ruapehu street 5am – 5pm
Limited Access: Story Place, Redoubt Street, Ferry Road.
The Ironman team would like to thank local retailers for their support while these closures are in place.
Where possible we will endeavour to open roads earlier than advertised.
Kind Regards
Wayne Reardon
Race Director 70.3 Taupo
0274967510Road Closure Overview Map


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Michael Laudrup confirms interest in signing Iago Aspas for Swansea City
Swansea City manager Michael Laudrup has confirmed his interest in Celta Vigo striker Iago Aspas.
Last Updated: 30/12/12 12:33pm
Aspas has netted six times so far this season and is reported to have also caught the eye of Atletico Madrid boss Diego Simeone.
However, agent Felix Gende said earlier this week that the 25-year-old would not be moving during the January transfer window - and Laudrup has now also played down talk of signing the Spaniard any time soon.
"He [Aspas] is a very good player," he said. "I know him, but to say he is coming here is a big step.
"When I look at players, I look first for quality. Second, do they fit into this environment, this squad and this city? Then there is the salary and the fee."
Laudrup has enjoyed a strong start to his first season of management in the Premier League, guiding Swansea to ninth in the table.
But he is keen to improve his squad and revealed that work has been going on behind the scenes to draw up a list targets for the January window.
"We are always looking for players and if you want to do your job well, you always have to be prepared for everything in advance," he said.
"You cannot start when the shop opens. That's why you have to always see the players who you could bring in if it's necessary.
"We have a list of players for every position that we have drawn up in the last three or four months. There are a lot of things going on."


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Worst 100 Uncyclopedia In-Jokes of All Time/Imperfect Sheep
There are many different form of Imperfect Sheep, and they come in many varieties. You can tell an Imperfect Sheep by its abnormal number of legs, tails and/or heads(tentacles cost only $9.99 extra). An Imperfect Sheep is likely to attack a human on sight (see below for how to deal with this), but most live in remote corners of the world so it is unlikely that you or anyone you know will see one.
How to deal with an Imperfect Sheep
There is no good way to deal with an Imperfect Sheep due to their ridiculously violent natures. Even though they are vicious you can avoid an attack if one comes to pass by having a happy ghost at your side, so that it will scare the imperfect sheep.
The History of the Imperfect Sheep
It is unknown exactly how they came in to existence. What is known however, is that they are here, and that they are a very real and imminent threat to our society, nobody is safe from their terror.
The Future of the Imperfect Sheep
Is widely speculated upon and perhaps it is better left unsaid, for one minor factor, their future seems to be intimately tied in with our* future. People who are experts at being experts have told us mortals that the Imperfect Sheep are actually George Bush's pet monkeys in disguise...and since they're experts, we must believe them.
- by Our I mean a can of black beans.


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Member since Feb 6, 2010
- Profile: /members/5377-mike.htm
- Comments: 5
Recent Blog Comments By Mike
ColdFusion 10 - Parsing Dirty HTML Into Valid XML Documents
Posted on Oct 12, 2012 at 6:24 PM
Ben I'm getting this error from your code. Unable to find a constructor for class com.sun.org.apache.xalan.internal.xsltc.trax.SAX2DOM that accepts parameters of type ( '' ). I'm guessing the path in var saxDomBuilder = createObject( "java", "com.sun.org.apache.xalan.internal.xsl... read more »
Smashing jQuery By Jake Rutter
Posted on Feb 15, 2011 at 3:43 PM
@Ben, Yes the Smashing HTML5 book was well writing.... read more »
Smashing jQuery By Jake Rutter
Posted on Feb 15, 2011 at 3:18 PM
Thanks I'll check it out. I just finished reading Smashing HTML5. http://www.amazon.com/s/ref =nb_sb_ss_i_1_30?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=smashing+html5+by+bill+sanders&sprefix=smashing+html5+by+bill+sanders... read more »
ColdFusion ExpandPath() And GetCurrentTemplatePath()
Posted on Nov 5, 2010 at 6:49 PM
Ok I'm been trying to fiqure this out for a long time. I'm trying to get my structure organized. Say I have this Root css.css Index.cfm ..Includes(Folder) Header.cfm Footer.cfm ..Test(folder) test1.cfm I'm trying to use header.cfm in multiple sub files of the root via cfinclude. But my c... read more »
How To Move XML Data Into A Database Using ColdFusion
Posted on Feb 6, 2010 at 3:19 AM
Using you examples I can get the teamnames into a database. But pulling my hair out trying to get the parent cat id and position so IE; I need GrandChampion 1 Qua ReserveChampion 1 Swamp Water Boys Overall 1 Qua Overall 2 Swamp Water Boys Overall 3 Jack Old South. <root> <cat id="GrandCh... read more »


text: ACOG Rounds May 2015 The Executive Desk: Experiencing & Embracing Change President's Blog: For the Times, They Are A-Changin' Clinical Practice: It's Not All in Your Head: Revised Perinatal Depression Guidance Adds to ACOG's Resources about the Disorder Medical Education: ACOG – Your Source for Ob-Gyn Focused CME Medical Education: Interactive eModules Feature Enhanced Online Learning Experience Patient Education: Ob-Gyns Find ACOG Patient Education ePamphlets Helpful in Digital World Advocacy & Health Policy: Never Been to FIGO? Great Opportunity in 2015 Advocacy & Health Policy: All-In for Women's Primary Care Advocacy & Health Policy: Reducing Medical Errors and Improving Patient Outcomes: ACOG's VRQC & SCOPE Can Help Membership & Fellowship: OBGWhyN—Why Did You Become an Ob-Gyn? Membership & Fellowship: New Member Video: "ACOG We Are You" Membership & Fellowship: Career Connection—What is Your Job Searching Strategy? Junior Fellows and Medical Students: Junior Fellow Congress Advisory Council (JFCAC) Elects National Officers Junior Fellows and Medical Students: Medical Students Active at ACOG's 63rd Annual Meeting ACOG in the News: Contraceptive Coverage, Electronic Cigarettes, Reproductive Health Apps, and 2015 Annual Meeting Highlights Print All


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Theme Info & Details
Fresh & Clean is a free WordPress theme created by WPExplorer.com that has a very clean and minimal design yet it is still pretty modern and elegant looking. This theme was created with the casual blogger in mind, however, it can be great for all sorts of sites!
Featured Slider With Custom Post Type
Fresh & Clean comes with a flexslider image slider on the homepage. Via the theme panel you can choose your sliding speed, animation and transition. You can also define a custom link for each slide or leave the option blank to show only images. As well as show videos if you wish.
Optional Header Banner Ad
This theme includes an optional advertisement banner add located in the header section of the site. You can easily enter the url to the image and the affiliate/ad url within the theme options page.
Clean + Fast
This theme is meant to load pretty quickly in the browser and I have also tried to keep the code and simple and clean as possible. There are absolutely 0 images required for the main design (almost everything done via CSS) .
Fresh & Clean WordPress Theme Features
- Minimal
- Blogging theme
- Responsive
- Widgetized footer & sidebar
- Header banner spot
- Custom logo upload
- Homepage basic image slider
- Retina ready featured images
- CSS only multi-level dropdowns w/ font-icon label
- Clean, optimized code
- Speedy design
- Support WPExplorer!
+ File name: [WP] Fresh & Clean Free Minimal WordPress Theme free download
+ Type: Free WordPress Template
+ Source: wpexplorer.com
+ License: Free for personal and commercial use with attribution
+ Note: require sign up new account to download