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This is an archived article that was published on sltrib.com in 2013, and information in the article may be outdated. It is provided only for personal research purposes and may not be reprinted.
West Valley City • A man shot Monday during a confrontation with officers inside the lobby of the West Valley City Police Department may have been attempting "suicide by cop."
By Monday afternoon, the suspect, 39-year-old James Ramsey Kammeyer, had been treated at a hospital for two gunshot wounds to his right arm and was booked at the Salt Lake County jail. He was booked on suspicion of two counts of attempted homicide, two counts of aggravated assault, aggravated burglary, possession of a weapon by a restricted person and making terroristic threats, said West Valley City police Sgt. Jason Hauer.
But whether his goal Monday morning was to die in a barrage of police gunfire remained unclear. Hauer said police were still trying to determine what prompted the registered sex offender to walk into the police department lobby about 8:25 a.m. Monday, pull a gun and point it at officers.
Hauer said Kammeyer had evoked his right to remain silent and was not cooperating with investigators. But Monday wasn't his first encounter with city police.
On Dec. 12, 2012, officers went out on a call involving Kammeyer, who said he was distraught because his wife was trying to take custody of their children, according to Hauer.
"He was threatening to cut his wrists," Hauer said, "and told our officers at that time that he wanted to die [in a] suicide by cop."
Hauer said police talked him out of killing himself, and he was taken to a mental hospital for treatment.
Monday morning, Kammeyer allegedly drove his motorcycle to the police station, 3600 S. Constitution Blvd., walked inside with his hands in his pockets, and approached a civilian clerk and uniformed officer at the front desk. The desk is separated from the lobby by protective glass.
The officer thought the suspect's behavior was suspicious and asked him to remove his hands from his pockets. Instead, Kammeyer reportedly turned his back on the officer and clerk, pulled out a handgun and pointed it at them.
Several officers, hearing that an armed man was in the lobby, immediately reacted. Multiple gunshots were fired by one officer, and Kammeyer was struck twice in the right arm.
Monday afternoon, WVCPD detectives were serving search warrants on Kammeyer's residence, as well as a vehicle. Hauer said investigators were trying to learn more about his possible motives.
Hauer said the lobby of the police department was still considered a crime scene for the rest of Monday, but may be open to the public again on Tuesday. He said that in the meantime, people who wish to make reports at the police station should call the department's dispatch center at 801-840-4000.
An unidentified man who answered the door at the West Jordan residence where Kammeyer had been living said he didn't want to comment.
Court records show that Kammeyer ended up on the sex offender registry in 1999 after pleading guilty to sex abuse of a child, a second-degree felony. He was charged with having sexual intercourse and oral sex with a girl under the age of 14, according to court documents.
The plea was part of a deal with prosecutors, who reduced the charge from a first-degree felony and also dismissed one count of first-degree felony sodomy on a child.
The case earned Kammeyer 120 days in jail, according to court records, as well as three years on probation. Among other conditions, the judge also ordered Kammeyer to remain employed and write a letter of apology to the parents of his victim.
In 2002, Kammeyer's probation was revoked and reinstated for an additional 36 months. At that time, a judge ordered him to complete sex offender treatment and prohibited him from using the Internet. It was not immediately clear from court records why Kammeyer's probation was revoked and reinstated.
Kammeyer successfully completed probation in January 2004, the Utah Department of Corrections confirmed.
Police presence at the scene of the shooting Monday was heavy and much of the area, including a nearby Utah Transit Authority TRAX station, was initially cordoned off. A TRAX train, unable to proceed, was emptied of passengers who were transported to the next stop on the line by bus until the station reopened at 9:10 a.m.
The gunfire terrified several passengers on board a Green Line train at the time of the incident.
Bonnie Barkheimer said she "thought I was hallucinating. We never saw who they were shooting at [but] there was a ton of bullets."
About a half-dozen bullet holes riddled the outside glass windows of the police department.
Leilani Wolfgramm, 15, said she was heading to school and waiting for the train to leave the station when she heard the shooting. "Everyone started freaking out," she said.
Amber Samuels said the exchange of gunfire "sounded like fireworks." She said one fellow female passenger jumped over a seat, while a male passenger threw himself to the floor.
She saw paramedics take a man, who she described as a large, older white male in handcuffs, on a stretcher to a waiting ambulance. "It was horrible," she said.
Monday's shooting, per procedure, will be reviewed by the office of Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill, which still is reviewing a November 2012 fatal shooting in which Danielle Willard, 21, was killed by WVCPD narcotics detectives as part of a purported drug investigation.
In the wake of the Willard shooting, the D.A. and the U.S. Attorney's Office began investigating alleged improprieties and evidentiary problems with the WVCPD's since-disbanded drug unit. So far, the two agencies have dropped a combined total of nearly 100 cases.
Jim Dalyrmple II and Kimball Bennion contributed to this story.
Twitter: @remims Probe of fatal SLC shooting
JCAT • Salt Lake County District Attorney Sim Gill cleared the five officers who fatally shot an armed man in March, but indicated that the probe was made difficult by lack of cooperation from the officers. > A6


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Job Snapshot
Employee Type:
Miami, FL
Job Type:
At least 1 year(s)
Date Posted:
Job Description
Brink's U.S., a division of Brink's, Incorporated, is the premier provider of armored car transportation, ATM servicing, currency and coin processing, and other value added services to financial institutions, retailers and other commercial and government entities. The company has a proud history of providing growth and advancement opportunities for its employees. We have a challenging opportunity for a Turret Guard.
Job Summary:
The Turret Guard monitors activity on the premises and protects the personnel, property and shipments for which the company is responsible. This position functions in an armed environment. This position requires the enforcement of rules to protect the premises and property of Brink's and its customers, as well as the safety of persons on the premises of Brink's and its customers.
Key Responsibilities:
•Maintain the safety, security, and control of the building at all times
•Control access to the building; verify identification and entrance authorization
•Monitor CCTV system for anything suspicious near the building
•Alert management of anything suspicious and notify emergency services, if necessary
•Maintain radio communication with truck crews throughout the day
•Scan personnel with metal detectors
•Complete daily reports
•Cross-train and perform other duties as assigned
Job Requirements
Minimum Qualifications:
•Minimum of 1 year of experience as an armed guard or military experience or protective services experience
•Minimum of 21 years of age
•A valid firearms permit or ability to pass applicable firearms licensing requirements
•A valid guard card or ability to obtain a guard card or any other required licenses
•Able to lift at least 5 pounds
Preferred Qualifications:
•High School diploma or GED
Professional Skills:
•Excellent ethics and integrity
•High attention to detail
•Collaborative work style
•Excellent customer service
•Ability to work independently
•Professional, positive demeanor
If you have the background and integrity we require and are looking for a challenging opportunity, we hope you will consider employment with Brink's U.S. We provide eligible employees, medical, dental, vision and life insurance plans. In addition, we offer profit sharing opportunities and a 401(k) program with company match. If you are interested and meet the requirements for this position, please apply.
Brink's is an equal opportunity/affirmative action employer and all qualified applicants will receive consideration for employment without regard to age, race, color, religion, sex, national origin, disability status, marital status, protected veteran status, sexual orientation, gender identity, genetic information or history or any other characteristic protected by law. Brink's is also committed to providing a drug free workplace.
We are an Equal Opportunity Employer and do not discriminate against any employee or applicant for employment because of race, color, sex, age, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, status as a veteran, and basis of disability or any other federal, state or local protected class.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
A regular occurrence in updating Ubuntu is kernel updates, which require a restart. There are applications which negate the need for a restart after a kernel update e.g. ksplice.
Why doesn't Ubuntu use tools similar to ksplice? Are there security, memory, etc. concerns to not restarting immediately/ever? Or, can these issues be overcome (i.e. are they just bugs)?


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Photo from fOTOGLIF
It wasn't on this play that Chase was hurt, but a slide into second that injured his thumb
Chase Utley will be on the DL for the first time in a very long while. He's played through pain before, but in Game 1 against the Cincinnati Reds, Chase was sliding into second base and injured his thumb. He'll be out for at least 15 days and this will probably force him to miss the All Star Game in Anaheim, CA which is just two weeks away.
Placido Polanco is also on the DL at the same time, and it's going to be a tough few weeks for the Phils unless some of the replacement Phillies kick in some offense to make up for it. Last night, it was a three run home run by 2nd baseman Wilson Valdez to help the Phillies along with a home run from Brian Schneider. Those two hits paced the Phillies night on offense. It was only Wilson Valdez's 3rd HR on the year, and the 2nd for Schneider.
The last time Utley spent a time on the DL was 2007, after he was hit in the hand from a John Lannan pitch vs. the Nationals.
Today will tell more clearly how long Utley will be on the DL, when more testing is done.


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A place for owners, prospective owners, and dreamers alike to discuss the in's and out's of the Disney Vacation Club. Oh, and bragging about your 3 Bedroom Bay Lake Tower Grand Villa is also allowed.
Use this control to limit the display of threads to those newer than the specified time frame.
Allows you to choose the data by which the thread list will be sorted.
Order threads in...
Note: when sorting by date, 'descending order' will show the newest results first.
Forum Rules


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|1 of 1
This page
56 HASKINS & SELLS July Massachusetts Restrictions A RECENT amendment to the Massachusetts C. P. A. law affecting Chapter 93 of the General Laws, makes it incumbent that all public accountants practicing in Massachusetts shall be registered as such and shall receive a certificate thereof. "No person not registered under section thirty-seven shall designate or hold himself out as a certified public accountant. No partnership unless all of its members are registered under section thirty-seven, and no corporation, shall use the words 'certified public accountant' in describing the partnership or corporation or the business thereof." By the terms of this amendment we are prohibited from designating ourselves as Certified Public Accountants in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts on and after August 8, 1922. Our congratulations are extended to Mr. W. E. Durham, of the Denver staff, who has been awarded the faculty prize for scholarship in the Department of Accounts, Commerce and Finance of the University of Denver. Mr. Durham was graduated from the University of Denver in the class of 1922, receiving the degree of Bachelor of Commercial Science. We note with pleasure that Messrs. B. B. Hull and F. M. Holmes, of the Denver Office, and Mr. E. L. Duncan, of the Kansas City Office, have passed the C. P. A. examinations held by the State Board of Accountancy of Colorado in May, 1922. Mr. Duncan was formerly a member of the Denver staff. Our office at Dallas has removed, under date of July 1, 1922, to the Magnolia Building, Dallas, Texas. It is with regret that we note the death of Mrs. L. C. Matthews at her home, Druid Hills, Atlanta, Georgia, on Thursday, June 29. Mrs. Matthews had recently been visiting in New York City and vicinity, and her death therefore comes as a greater shock. Mr. R. I. Bush, Jr., of our New York Broad Street staff, died suddenly on Monday, July 3. Mr. Bush was held high in esteem both as an accountant and as a man in our organization, and in his death we have a sense of distinct loss. The funeral services were conducted at his late home, 11 Grand Avenue, Arlington, New Jersey, and were attended by several members of the firm and staff. The Masonic fraternity, of which Mr. Bush Was a member, conducted a ritualistic service which was most impressive. Effective August 1, 1922, the address of our Paris Office will be 43 Rue de la Chaussée-d'Antin, Paris. It is with regret that announcement is made of the resignation of Mr. L. C. Matthews as manager of the Atlanta Office, effective June 30, 1922. We announce the appointment, effective July 1, 1922, of Mr. P. A. Gilcrest as assistant manager of the Chicago Office, in charge of the Report Department. Congratulations are extended to Mr. J. L. Henson of the Cincinnati Office, and to Mr. D. J. Hofer of the New York 39th Street Office, who have successfully passed the examinations of the American Institute of Accountants and have been admitted to associate membership of the Institute. PRESS OF WILLIAM GREEN, NEW YORK
Object Description
Massachusetts restrictions
[News items]
Accounting -- Law And Legislation -- Massachusetts
|Personal Name
Durham, W. E.
Hull, B. B.
Holmes, F. M.
Duncan, E. L.
Matthews, Levin Clayton
Bush, R. I.
Gilcrest, P. A.
Henson, James Lewis
Hofer, D. J.
Haskins & Sells. Denver Office
Haskins & Sells. Kansas City Office
Haskins & Sells. Dallas Office
Haskins & Sells. Atlanta Office
Haskins & Sells. New York Office
Haskins & Sells. Paris Office
Haskins & Sells. Chicago Office
Haskins & Sells. Cincinnati Office
Haskins & Sells Bulletin, Vol. 05, no. 07 (1922 July 15), p. 56
|Originally published by: Haskins & Sells
|Deloitte Digital Collection
|Digital Publisher
|University of Mississippi Libraries. Accounting Collection
|Date-Digitally Created
|HS Bulletin 5-p56


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KEENE, N.H. 5/7/11 – The Keene State College men's lacrosse team used an opportunistic offense and a stingy second half defense to defeat Eastern Conn. State University 14-9 in the championship game of the Little East Conference Championship held at Owl Athletic Complex on Saturday.
It's the fourth conference crown for the Owls (14-2) who also captured the title in 2005, 2007 and last season. Tying a school record with its 11th straight win, Keene State earns the conference's automatic NCAA Division III Championship berth and awaits the pairings that will be announced on Sunday night.
It's the first time the Owls have won back-to-back titles. "That was one of goals this year," said KSC Coach Mark Theriault.
Senior Griffin Meehan (Simsbury, Conn.) tallied six goals and two assists to lead the Owls offense while the Keene State defense put the clamps on the Warriors, limiting ECSU to just two second half goals.
Like they did in their regular season meeting, a 19-17 come-from-behind, win, the Owls overcame an early deficit. Falling behind 3-0, Keene State responded with eight unanswered goals to take an 8-3 lead. Meehan, who scored KSC's first goal with a crowd-pleasing behind-the-back shot, led the comeback, scoring or assisting on the five of the Owls first six goals. "We knew they can put a few goals in, but it's a long game and we weren't too worried about it," said Meehan.
"We were thinking instead of playing," said Theriault. "Once you get one everyone starts to relax and play our game."
Senior Grant Albertson got the Warriors back in the game, scoring three of the team's next four goals, including one with 11 seconds to play in the half, to cut the Owls lead to 9-7 at the break.
Meehan, who was blanketed all game by the Warriors' defense, and senior Mike Araujo (Southboro, Mass.) scored the only goals in the third quarter as KSC extended its lead to 11-7.
In attempt to clear the ball, KSC sophomore goalie Jason Leser (Brewster, N.Y) accidently lost control of the ball that ended up in the Owls net to make it 11-8. But Owls shook it off scoring the next three goals to make it a 14-8 game.
Leser and the Owls defense took over for there. Lesser stopped a couple of point-blank shots by Salieu Bolivar and a pestering KSC defense managed to keep the Warriors form getting a good shot on net. "I was seeing the ball well and really felt sharp in goal," said Leser, who gave his defense a lot of credit for the win.
"We really had to step it up because they have a high-powered defense," said senior defensive midfielder Warren Dill (Yorktown, N.Y.).
"We just bucked down in the second half," said senior defenseman Colin Barnett (Cheshire, Conn.) "We had too good of a season to lose this game. We stayed calm and didn't celebrate until the game was over."
Junior Matthews Crimmins scored the final goal of the game for the Owls, putting the ball in the net as he was checked to the ground.
Using his speed to get around Warrior defenders, sophomore Ian Hart (Richmond, N.H.) had a solid game for the Owls, finishing with three goals and two assists. Araujo and Crimmins each had two goals.
Albertson finished with four goals for the Warriors (12-6).
Both goalies had their share of terrific stops. Leser finished with 17 saves for the Owls while sophomore Donald Berube stopped 12 shots for ECSU.
KSC won the game despite losing the face-off battle. Warrior All-American won 21 of 24 face-offs, but the Owls took advantage of several Eastern Conn. turnovers while attempting to clear the ball.
Theriault and the Owls are looking forward to a nice run in the NCAA tournament. "I'm not satisfied with this," he said. "We're looking for a good seed and do some damage in the NCAA tournament. We're not just happy to be there anymore."


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Well we don't seem to have a panto thread going yet so I'll try kicking something off.
This years it's "A Christmas Carol". We need a list of characters and a story line, that in someway never loses touch with the original story.
Ebenezer Scrooge - hlb
Jacob Marley - Old Git
The Ghost of Boating Past - Byron
The Ghost of Boating Present - ?
The Ghost of Boating Yet to Come - ?
Bob Cratchett - ?
Mrs Cratchett (noted for her fine puddings) - PaulineB
Scrooges Nephew - Keith
Scrooges Nephews wife - ?
Mr Fuzziwig - Kind Benevolent employer - well no one on here then - Kim perhaps
Tiny Tim - ?
The Charitable Collectors (2 required)
And sundry cameos from other forum members in various characters
Here's the first line
"Red diesel was dead , to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that".......
There you go lets see if we can make it run...... [img]/forums/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]


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In a new project, the Water Environment Research Foundation (WERF) is using canine scent tracking, or sewage sniffing dogs, to find sources of human waste contamination in storm drains.
Previous research using DNA-based techniques has shown that some storm drains are contaminated with human waste. Yet finding the precise locations where waste enters the storm drain network is challenging, due to a relatively high cost per sample and three-week turnaround time for results.
Stormwater professionals, coastal managers, and watershed protection groups need effective, easy, and low-cost methods to identify and locate sources of fecal contamination in storm drains that discharge to creeks and beaches.
The project is funded under WERF's unsolicited grant program and will be completed in December.


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The casting announcements of, firstly, Kylie Minogue on Monday and then, Catherine Tate on Tuesday sent the usually reasonably calm Outpost Gallifrey forum – to which this blogger is a contributor - into virtual meltdown. No, actually, that's a complete lie. It's never calm, 'reasonably' or otherwise. Anyway a lot of the threads this week, unfortunately, were rather crude, full of spiteful comments made in haste and it all ended in a huge fight … So, no change there, then. This is particularly true of those many threads regarding Cat Tate. Poor lass, she's walked right into the middle of a tempest of bombast with this one. Amid all this, however, were a couple of absolute twenty four-carat comedy gems that kind of reminded you exactly why you hang around the place.
One, a humorous thread in which posters were given the opportunity to blame all of the problems of the world on Russell Davies – since he seems to be getting the blame for lots of stuff from those who don't like his casting decision - called RTD Caused Global Warming! got close on one thousand posts at the time of writing and includes some of the funniest stuff the board had seen in years. Amazingly, however, that wasn't even the most amusing OG thread of the week.
What follows are extracts from a thread called The Fan's Phrasebook. Some of them are this blogger's contributions, but many are not and are the work of others listed at the foot of the page. Remember, if you can't laugh at yourself - and your friends - then there really is something seriously wrong with you.
Here are a wide selection of commonly used Doctor Who fan comments posted – some with truly monotonous regularity - onto the Outpost Gallifrey forum. Underneath, you will find their translations into English. If you recognise yourself in any of these then that probably makes two of us.
"I am proud to be a Doctor Who fan."
I am scum. I am a socially maladjusted retard who is nervous around the opposite sex. I am either a spiteful and dour malcontent with a cynically vicious streak so wide my anorak has had to be made by a special tailor or a verbose and inanely positive Special Needs creep who is easily pleased by the most charmless and bland lowest-common-denominator television imaginable. My next reply will tell you which...
"I've been a Doctor Who fan since the series began."
I am 46 and can just about remember William Hartnell.
"I've been a Doctor Who fan since the 1960s."
I am 43 and can just about remember Patrick Troughton.
"I've been a Doctor Who fan since the 1970s."
I am 39 and can just about remember Jon Pertwee.
"I've been a Doctor Who fan since the Golden Days."
I am 35 and can just about remember 'The Talons of Weng Chiang'
"I've been a Doctor Who fan for many years."
I am 20, and lying my head off in the vague hope that claiming to be older than I am will make me seem more windswept and interesting to those that I virtually interact with.
I am old enough to remember rec.arts.drwho. And to shudder at the very mention of its name.
"I am a recognised authority on Doctor Who."
I have an Internet blog which is read by just three people. And they only read it so they can laugh at me.
"I, actually, know what I'm talking about."
I, actually, don't know what I'm talking about in the slightest.
"I felt that Story X was a bit weak."
Why am I not producing this show? And directing it? And writing it? And why am I not playing the Doctor and/or his assistant?
"Why did this happen/that happen/he say that? That doesn't make any sense!"
Like most of my generation, I have the attention span of the average goldfish and, therefore, completely missed the point of whatever it is that I'm complaining about? Sorry, what was the question again? ... Do I know you?
"The Doctor's line about xxxx directly contradicts what he said in ..."
I am, apparently, unaware that Doctor Who is a fictional television show written by lots of different people.
"You are, apparently, unaware that Doctor Who is a fictional television show written by lots of different people."
Look at me, everybody, I'm making some Saddo with borderline Autism look like a clown! Aren't I just, like, the coolest kiddie that ever did walk the earth?! I think I'll go out a beat up some cripples next.
"The BBC has stated that it has a long term commitment to Doctor Who."
If they cancel it, I'll cry.
"RTD has ruined the old 'community spirit' of fandom."
I am conveniently forgetting 'The DWB Wars', 'the rec.arts.drwho Years' and every other fandom spat - large or small - in living memory. I am also annoyed that all of the little "keeping the spirit alive" fiefdoms that were carefully built whilst Doctor Who was off the air - DWAS, Big Finish, BBC Books, the Restoration Team, and, yes even Outpost Gally itself - have been rendered almost redundant by the new series which simply doesn't need fandom anymore. This makes me bitter and long for the days when Doctor Who used to belong to me and a few of my friends.
"I am not in the UK, but ..."
I am praying that nobody asks me the blatantly obvious question of how I can possibly pass comment on episodes that I cannot, legally, have seen yet.
"A typical fan" (cynical viewpoint.)
An anally-retentive, socially inept, sexually immature sheep.
"A typical fan" (slightly more positive viewpoint.)
An enthusiastic (if occasionally a bit scary), reasonably intelligent and well-read type with a fun outlook and a thirst for adventure. But also, an anally-retentive, socially inept and sexually immature sheep.
"A typical fan" (sexual orientation viewpoint.)
Fifty percent probability that they're gay. Unless they're - aggressively - not. In which case, they almost certainly are, they just haven't got around to telling their parents or friends yet. And, also, an anally-retentive, socially inept, sexually immature sheep.
Fandom Buzzwords:
"That's nothing but 'stunt casting'."
They've just cast somebody that I've actually heard of in Doctor Who.
"That was nothing but a load of old 'fanwank'."
They've just made a continuity reference that I don't like in Doctor Who.
"Why do we have all these deus ex machina endings?"
Look Ma! I'm using Latin on the Internet!
"Occam's Razor / Straw Man / Oxymoron / Faux-naïf / Gravitas."
I don't really know what any of these words mean, but when I use them in a sentence they make me look far more intelligent than I actually am. In my mind.
"This episode was cringeworthy in the extreme."
I live in a state of near permanent embarrassment and have extreme difficulty in expressing myself without resorting to outrageous over-exaggeration and somewhat crass clichés.
That was a mildly amusing comment. I rather wish I'd said it.
"I am a serious Whovianologist."
It's not the size of the made-up word that's important, it's what you do with it that counts.
"Zygon porn."
I've got my hopes up way too high.
"Bland Hollywood-style sentimentality."
A positive portrayal of human nature. Please note that if everybody dies in a massive bloodbath, I shall not be complaining about "shallow Hollywood-style cynicism."
"I couldn't possibly comment."
Yes, what you've just said is exactly what I meant in my previous – highly euphemistic - posting. But I really don't want to get sued or thrown off this board for saying that so, you know, schtum.
"Rose was a chav."
I have seldom met any real people, let alone any actual chavs. And, if I ever did, I would undoubtedly get my head kicked in.
"A plot hole big enough to pilot the TARDIS through."
I didn't understand that bit. There was some sort of explanation going on but I was fiddling with the remote control at the time and I missed it.
"As ever, treat this as 'a rumour' until told otherwise."
As ever, treat this as "a total, complete and utter lie" until told otherwise.
"A blatant plot device."
An element of the episode whose relevance I spotted two minutes before my parents. Aren't I clever, eh? Why isn't everybody talking about me, me, me, me, me, me?
"irony (aeIroni), n. 1. An English invention in which one says something that one does not necessarily mean. For the purposes of Merriment and Japery. 2. Like "goldy" or "brassy" but with iron. 3. What you mum does with your shirts after washing."
I once had a couple of jokes printed in Private Eye. Not, necessarily, MY jokes you understand, but...
Dude, I am 14. I've just discovered that saying "pfft … yeah, right" in an ironic and casual way when somebody says something enthusiastic will, depending on the circumstances, either get other 14 year olds smirking and thinking I'm, like, premo-rad or will make the enthusiastic person embarrassed and angry and we can have a fight. Which I'll, like, totally win. Cos I'm pure dead hard, so I am.
"It's not 'Canon'."
I've not seen/read/heard this text you mention and, therefore, I don't like it.
"The TV Movie is Canon, the New Series is not."
I have an almighty crush on Paul McGann and am still sulking because they never made a series with him.
Absolutely anything in Doctor Who that's remotely connected to contemporary Earth or working-class people.
Something has happened in Doctor Who this week that's a little bit like something I've seen once before in Doctor Who.
"This is NOT Doctor Who. Doctor Who is being 'dumbed down'!!!"
Something has happened in Doctor Who this week the like of which I have never seen before. This both confuses and upsets me greatly.
"Doctor Who has never been more vibrant, cutting-edge, thrusting and vital."
I am delighted that, these days, I can go out in public in a Dalek T-shirt and not have people laughing at me and calling me a spastic.
Blatant rip-offs.
"An homage."
A blatant rip-off.
"A pastiche."
A blatant rip-off.
"An influence."
A blatant rip-off.
"A nod."
A freely-acknowledged blatant rip-off.
"The Silent Majority."
A collection of people who don't exist. I've just made them up so that I can claim to speak for them.
"The Silent Minority."
About twenty loud-mouthed philistines who post onto this board and who are, quite frankly, anything but silent.
"The reset button."
A logical plot resolution to this week's episode which I am going to complain about. A lot.
"Boring, boring, boring."
Oh dear… Lawrence has been drinking too much coffee again.
The Classic Series:
"The Classic series."
Any four or five year period of Doctor Who between the years 1963 and 1989 that I really liked.
"The Classic Series was much better."
The world was so much simpler when I was younger.
"Doctor Who in the 1960s, 70s and early 80s was a much-loved British institution, frequently referenced in other media as a sign on its high standing within British culture. It demanded total respect within the industry and the media at large because of its outstanding storytelling, cutting-edge minimalist designs and clever construction."
Doctor Who in the 1960s, 70s and early 80s was a television show that most people watched but had pretty much grown out of by the time they reached the age of sixteen and discovered the opposite sex. The reason it maintained such a healthy audience was because there were only three TV channels in Britain in those days and if you weren't an intellectual, you didn't watch BBC2. Most people watched it simply out of habit. Doctor Who was the frequent butt of jokes by stand-up comedians because of its well-recognised clichéd elements like wooden acting, cheap sets and even cheaper spacecraft. The phrase "it's like something off of Doctor Who" would be used by ignorant twats, like your dad, to describe anything weird that they didn't understand and/or didn't like - for example, some really cool band with purple hair on Top of the Pops. The hard kids at school NEVER liked Doctor Who and, if you mentioned it in their vicinity they would fist you in the face just on general principle.
"Sydney Newman's original concept was for a programme that would educate viewers rather than the glitzy nonsense we have now."
A cliché is still a cliché, no matter how flowery the delivery. No poetry. No soul.
"The maturity, quality and depth of the Classic Series still astonishes."
Listen, I liked wobbly sets, rocks made of polystyrene, plots ripped-off from every movie Hammer ever made and spaceships made out of tin foil and sticky-backed plastic.
"A far cry from the pantomime the programme became in the Eighties."
I'm wholly oblivious to the irony and hypocrisy of defending the new series by attacking an era that others cherish.
"Doctor Who used to be scary!"
I'm completely unable to assimilate the fact that the sort of reaction which led me to sleep with the lights on for a fortnight when I was five cannot possibly be replicated when I'm forty.
"Doctor Who used to be scary!" (slight return)
'Horror of Fang Rock' made me wet the bed when I was six.
"Terrance Dicks should write for New Who."
Terrance Dicks last wrote for television in 1983. I, however, am unable to accept that television scripting has changed significantly in the last twenty five years.
"There should be more horror like it used to be."
I am conveniently ignoring everything in the classic series except for the Philip Hinchcliffe era. Besides, I don't like "funny stuff" and episodes featuring songs by the Scissors Sisters make me rather nervous for reasons I cannot accurately describe.
The Classic Series and Sex:
"The Classic Series had stories with more depth and gravitas."
I want a companion with large breasts.
"Nothing can ever come close to Tom Baker's Doctor. He was the best."
I had my first sexual experience ogling Louise Jameson's loincloth. In fact, I'm getting a stiffy right now just thinking about it. Excuse, I'm going to have to go offline for a few moments.
"I thought Romana was an excellent foil for the Doctor and brought an intelligence to the companion role not seen since Liz Shaw."
I like posh birds, me.
"Let's face it Doctor Who companions have always been - essentially - lust objects."
The first stirrings of my sexual awakening was a dream I had in 1983 about me taking Tegan, roughly, up the Gary Glitter. I've been in therapy ever since.
Outpost Gallifrey - Code of Conduct:
"Oops, double post."
Outpost Gallifrey's sodding server is unable to cope with my MASSIVE wit yet again. Bollocks. And it was a good'un an'all...
"That could be considered a Code of Conduct violation."
"I'm gonna grass you up like a Copper's nark!"
"... and you felt you had to start your own thread on this subject when one already exists, because?"
"I am an officious pedant ... And, I'm gonna grass you up like a Copper's nark!"
"I have informed the Moderators about this clear breach of the Code of Conduct."
I was the school sneak when I was twelve. Therefore, I have already grassed you up like a Copper's nark!
"I've been Rocker'd."
I've been nabbed by The Mods.
"Read the Code of Conduct."
"The next time you call Catherine Tate "a talentless bimbo" or anything even remotely like it, you're out of here."
"Only people who lack critical faculties like RTD's Doctor Who."
I'm not sure what a "faculty" is, exactly - but I've figured out that this is a clever way of appearing to call people stupid without actually breaching the Code of Conduct.
"With all due respect…"
I think you are bottom-feeding scum with opinions of no value whatsoever to man nor beast. Unfortunately, we have this damn Code of Conduct so I'm biting my lip and taking the piss out of you at the same time.
Outpost Gallifrey - Net Shorthand:
"You forgot to write 'IMO'."
I am too stupid to realise that everything posted on this board, and indeed on the entire Internet is – by definition - someone's opinion. Otherwise they wouldn't bother to say it in the first place.
I am American.
"(Sp?) "
I am illiterate.
"That was really funny! LOL! LOL!"
I found your post vaguely amusing but I wanted to flatter you.
"I just spat Tango over my keyboard when you said that."
I found your post vaguely amusing but I wanted to flatter you.
I found your post vaguely amusing but I wanted to flatter you.
"U guys dont lik DR Hoo, do you? U suck. Wot a bunch of looosers!!!!!"
Mom and dad are out for the night and they've left the computer on.
I fancy that David Tennant quite a lot.
Outpost Gallifrey - Lexicon:
"There's too much squeeeing in the New Series forum."
I am a sour and bitter cynic who has had all of the joy crushed out of him by the relentless disappointments of his life and consequently feel uncomfortable with effusive displays of naked enthusiasm. I intend to drag everybody else into my pit of misery with me. I've suffered for my art, now it's your turn.
"Not We's."
"Normal" people.
"The viewing public."
A bunch of semi-educated, sub-literate Troglodytes whose dull minds would shrivel upon contact with my leviathan of an intellect, and whose continued shallow happiness cruelly mocks my vastly superior cynicism. How I loathe them and all they stand for.
"He's an assertive online personality."
He's an rather sinister overgrown school-bully in his forties who loves being able to dominate immature fanboys because he can string four words together and has some vague connection to the programme. Worse, he thinks he is SO totally effing cool despite the fact that - as a Doctor Who fan - he, inherently, isn't. What an effing tool, he is.
"Rubbish. Absolute rubbish. I only gave it 1/5 cos there wasn't a 0 option."
I didn't particularly like it this week.
"Fantastic! Best of the best, I only gave it 5/5 cos there wasn't a 6 option."
I thought it was quite good this week.
"Am I the only one that thinks that...?"
I'm clearly not the only one that thinks that... But you can bet that I'm probably in a very small minority.
"I'm not sure if anybody else has already mentioned this, but..."
I am far too lazy to read through sixty previous posts on this thread, despite the fact that ten of them are from people in my ignore file and another fifteen are one-liners from people who think they're pure-dead funny like that Topping berk, but, anyway here's what I think.. Oh, several people HAVE already mentioned it? Well, what the hell, I'm going to mention it anyway because it's vitally important that you all hear what I have to say on the subject.
Outpost Gallifrey – Generalisations:
"Worst! Episode! Ever!"
Yes, I saw that episode of The Simpsons as well. And yes, I am aware that the character who said that line is supposed to be a parody of me, personally. Ironic, you say? Please explain further.
"That's 45 minutes of my life I'll never get back"
... on the other hand, if I hadn't been watching the episode, I'd just have been sitting in my gaff staring at the wall being miserable. So at least it's given me something to talk to other people about.
"It just goes to show, yet again, how poor [episode title] was."
I have become so obsessed with my deep and abiding loathing for a particular episode that I am forced to mention this fact in every single thread relating to any subject for the rest of the season and possibly well beyond.
"Most fans hated that episode."
Most fans – who expressed a preference - actually liked that episode. I just can't bothered to check the poll at the top of this page.
"My friends all disliked that episode."
Actually, I have no friends whatsoever but I thought that if I said I did on an Internet forum people might believe that I do and, as a consequence, talk to me.
"There is too much juvenile humour in New Who."
I don't have any friends and therefore cannot appreciate that most people use humour to relate to others and alleviate difficult situations.
"That was awesome!"
I wear a baseball cap on, backwards.
"That episode was rubbish even though most critics liked it."
Any old idiot can become a critic.
"This episode was vexatious and ill-conceived, too many plot points were left unexplained leading me to suspect that the writer was either being deliberately obtuse or is just plain incompetent."
My day job is as a librarian which gives me lots of time to read big words in the dictionary. However, I'd really like to be a television critic - for one of the "quality" newspapers, of course - and am stunned that no one's ever asked me to do just that. In the evening, I strangle my pets...
Outpost Gallifrey – Conflict:
"You are, of course, correct. My mistake. Thanks for pointing that out."
"You are, once again, absolutely correct to notice my elementary schoolboy error. Many apologies."
Pick, pick, pick, pick, pick, bloody pick...
"Hey, that's no problem. We're all friends here, right?"
I'm gonna wait for you in the tall grass, Mister. I'm gonna stalk you and then one day, when you least except it, I'm gonna pick you up before you've even fallen down with THE most pithy and smart-Alec retort you've ever heard in your entire miserable life and you're gonna look about THAT big. And then who'll be laughing? Pffft, not you matey, that's for sure...
"We should all respect each other's opinions ."
"I have to say, whilst not wishing to cast doubt upon the veracity of your claims that you could produce a better episode than RTD, you haven't said exactly what sort of television experience you, yourself have."
Oh, I see. So you're the Big-Brained-Fucking-Expert on all things telly around these parts? Okay then, Big Boy, whaddya've got?
"I sincerely doubt that."
I have an O level pass in Advanced Smugness.
"You are the voice of reason. An oasis of sanity in a desert of madness. My compliments."
Thank Christ for that, someone has finally had the outright good sense to agree with me. I was getting really worried there for a moment. Will you marry me and have my babies?
"A little harsh, I feel."
If we were in a pub, you'd be picking up your teeth off the floor right now.
"That really isn't very nice."
If we were in a pub, they'd be loading you into the ambulance right now.
"I don't wish to seem dismissive of your views, which are obviously sincerely held..."
Pffft! You utter wanker!
"It hurts me to say this, but..."
It completely delights me to say this, but...
"To an extent, you're correct. But…"
You are completely and totally correct in every way except one which I'm now going to drone on and on about for a few hundred words until everybody forgets that I've, essentially, conceded the rest of the argument to you.
"Okay, well let's just agree to disagree on that one."
I'm losing this argument badly - can we just stop now without me losing too much face?
"I'm entitled to my opinion."
I really didn't think about that previous post, at all, did I?
"You have every right to your own opinions just as I have every right to mine."
Thank you for your timely reminder of what "Ignore Files" are for.
"You can't post anything negative on here without being jumped on."
I posted an opinion on a forum and someone disagreed with it.
"I can't post on this forum without RTD's feckless thugs ganging up on me!"
I posted an opinion on a forum and several people disagreed with it.
"This forum is full of RTD fanboys who like any old rubbish that he gives them."
I posted and opinion on a forum and several people disagreed with it which upset me because it physically hurts me when people like things that I don't.
"You're trying to shout me down!"
You are disagreeing with me. And you're actually making pretty good counter-arguments.
"My opinions are being dismissed! Ever heard of free speech?!"
I have no idea what the concept of "free speech" actually entails.
"I am right and I will be proved right in the end."
Are you looking at me in a funny way? Right. You. Outside. Now!
"That's it! I've had enough! I'm leaving!"
I appear to have lost the argument. My next port of call will be to re-register myself under a different screen-name in a few days and start the same argument all over again in the hope that I'll win second time around. If that doesn't work, I've got a third alias already sorted.
"This is the first time I have ever posted onto this forum."
This is the first time I have posted onto this forum using this particular screen-name. You'll be hearing a lot more from me. Though not, necessarily, using this particular screen-name.
Outpost Gallifrey – The "I Can't Be Arsed" Section:
"Fixed that for you."
I can't be arsed to type a proper reply, it's so much quicker to edit your original post into something humorous or slightly risqué.
"Quoted for truth."
I can't be arsed to type any reply at all.
"What He said."
I also can't be arsed to type any reply at all.
"I can't believe you just posted that."
I can't be arsed to read this thread properly so I missed the first poster trying to be ironic. And even if I had realised that, I wouldn't have got it anyway since I don't have a sense of humour of any description. Why are you laughing at me?
I can't be arsed to come up with a witty retort to that last post so I'm just going to use "whatever!" instead.
Self-Aggrandisement and Reflected Glory:
"The last time I talked to Steven Moffett he told me about this idea he had for a story where..."
I have never talked to Steven Moffat. See, I can't even spell his name properly. However, I was once in the same pub as him. I smiled at him and he backed away nervously.
"... and I think Paul Cornell was there at time if I remember correctly."
… Paul Cornell was also there. He was, also, backing away nervously.
"I remember talking to Paul Cornell in the Fitzroy once and he said..."
"Somebody really should have a quiet word in Russell's ear about stuff like this."
I have a massively inflated sense of my own importance and how much weight my opinions carry in certain circles.
The New Series:
"Wow! I am totally speechless. That has to be, like, the greatest single bit of television drama that has ever been made!"
Wow! I am clearly *not* speechless since I was able to form a relatively coherent sentence there (well, as close I can get to a relatively coherent sentence, anyway). However, equally clearly, I have never seen I Claudius, The Singing Detective, Talking to a Stranger, The Year of the Sex Olympics, State of Play, Our Friends in the North (despite Eccleston and Daniel Craig being in it), Blue Remembered Hills, Scum, Ready When You Are Mr McGill, House of Cards, Edge of Darkness, Auf Wiedersehen Pet or, even the 1980 Christmas episode of Shoestring. I have, on the other hand, seen 'The Aztecs'. But that was in black and white and was just four episodes of people talking in cod-Shakespeare accents. Nevertheless, despite this I am still sticking to my laughably sweeping statement that an episode of Doctor Who surpasses every single bit of television ever made by anyone. Ever. In the whole world. Bar none.
"Doctor Who these days is not a patch on the Classic series."
Girls like it. Urgh! It can't be any good if girls like it.
"Why did the last scene have to ruin it?"
I loved 98% of this episode.
"I have just watched what can only be described as THE worst episode of Doctor Who that I have ever witnessed in all my life. Bar none. How can this complete drivel be acceptable to anyone? Fellow fans, I urge you, join with me in a campaign to rid ourselves of this plague that calls itself RTD."
Never post angry.
"Enough, already."
I watch a lot of American sitcoms and believe that talking like a New York Jew is really cool even though I am from Stoke-on-Trent myself.
"It hasn't been the same since Ecclestone left."
Despite watching thirteen episodes featuring the award-winning, large-eared Northern actor, I still cannot get close to spelling his surname correctly.
"I was not overly impressed."
I bastard-well hated it.
"I genuinely wish I'd enjoyed it, but I didn't."
I genuinely enjoy being dismissive and trite as often as possible.
"If the show carries on like this, I won't be watching again."
Wild horses wouldn't stop me from tuning in next week.
"I, for one, will not be watching next week..."
I, for one, will definitely be watching next week. And, moaning about the episode in the Rate thread at least five minutes before the end...
"Do you plan to boycott Season Four?"
217 days before the transmission of a television series, would you care to discuss - at perfectly enormous length - the pros and cons of whether you intend to watch it or not. Even though we both know it's more likely that pigs will fly than you'll miss a single second once it's on.
"OMG Feema Agueman was so bad wens Roze coming back? LOL."
I fancy Billie Piper but have forgotten how to work the DVD player, and I can't read, so I don't know what else she might be in.
"I will never watch 'Love & Monsters' again as long as I live!!!!!!!"
I actually watched 'Love & Monsters' last week and, for most of it, forgot that I was supposed to hate it.
"The Doctor should have more gravitas."
I am too lazy to read any serious literature.
"Nu Who is way too soapy."
I don't watch soap-operas and, therefore, have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. And I cannot spell the word 'new' either. I also sometimes have trouble with other words like 'for', 'you' and 'too'.
"The constant references to Bad Wolf/Torchwood/Saxon lacked subtlety."
I managed to spot one of these references myself without having to read about it on Wikipedia the following day. I felt like a God as a result.
"Why can't we see more alien planets?"
I have no concept of the economics of television production.
"Robert Holmes must be turning in his grave."
I specialise in making tasteless and inappropriate comments about dead former members of the Doctor Who production team.
"Robert Holmes would never have written fart gags."
I have clearly never paid any attention to a single story written by Robert Holmes.
"I wish they would get rid of all these pathetic pop-culture references which will age so quickly."
I have absolutely no idea who or what they are talking about when they make these references and that makes me feel desperately uncool.
"If I recall correctly..."
Who the Hell am I kidding? I ALWAYS recall correctly. I can remember the Logopolitan code for restoring the TARDIS down to the last hexadecimal. But I don't want everyone here to think I'm, like, really Sad or anything.
"The dialogue in that scene was nothing but a massive info-dump."
I am an expert in every line of every script of every Doctor Who episode ever broadcast and, consequently, I resent the fact that writers consider it necessary to explain things like continuity to people who are less dedicated than I am.
"I want Sally Sparrow to be the next companion/ the Ice Warriors in Season Four/ An explanation of the Time War/ Paul McGann to come back/ A sequel to Mawdryn Undead..."
I want a pony! Please, please, please, Santa, can I have a pony? Pleeeeeaassseeeeee?
"It just isn't Doctor Who as I know it."
It just isn't my nostalgic memories of whatever bit of Doctor Who happened to be on when I was eight years old and, as a consequence, extremely impressionable.
"Doctor Who shouldn't spend so much time on present day Earth."
Jon who?
"Forty five minutes isn't long enough for a Doctor Who story."
I really miss having two episodes worth of corridor scenes in every story.
"All stories should be two parters."
No, really - I only used to watch the show for the corridor scenes.
"I love DW for its flexible format."
Every episode of this show should be set in Victorian or Edwardian England, with the Doctor wearing period clothes. And with a really fit bird by his side.
"Bad Wolf? Torchwood? Mr Saxon? What's all that about then?"
Most of my contemporaries watch brave, complex, challenging and impressive television series like Lost, The West Wing and Buffy the Vampire Slayer, yet I still can't get my head around the idea of season-long plot threads.
"They should make the seasons shorter so they've got enough money to make the show in HD."
I've just bought an Hi Def telly and I want to boast about it. I feel a bit of a twit, actually, because nothing I want to watch is broadcast in HD yet.
"People who find fault with New Who are WRONG, not to mention STUPID!"
I become almost psychotic when confronted with people who don't think exactly the same as me because I'm always RIGHT. That's why I spell out words in capital letters occasionally.
"I don't understand why everyone likes 'Blink' so much, it didn't do anything for me."
What the Hell that all THAT about? Bor-ring. Where was the Doctor? Or the Daleks? I didn't like it. Can I have an ice cream?
"The windows in the TARDIS are the wrong size. If they can't get something simple like that right, then what hope is there?"
I get worried about the little things in life. This is because I wish to avoid dealing with the important stuff. Please don't distract me from my obsessions - you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
"I love the new series, unlike all of those dreadful NA-loving naysayers."
I have never read any of the Virgin or BBC Doctor Who novels of the 1990s. However, I once had a brief argument with someone who had which has lead me to the firm conclusion that everyone connected with both ranges and everyone who read them are militantly opposed to the new series. This, despite the fact that several of the authors and many of the readers of these books who post on this board are amongst the new series' most vocal and eloquent supporters, a number of authors work on the show itself and one of them is the Executive Producer.
"The next book they ought to adapt is The Eight Doctors."
I am quite insane.
"They should get Adam Rickett in as the new Doctor or, failing that, his assistant."
My name is Sparacus. You will remember it.
"If someone had told me, three years ago, that Doctor Who would be getting eight million viewers and would be the cornerstone of the BBCs Saturday night drama policy, I'd have laughed in their faces."
I was highly sceptical that a seemingly tired and jaded 1960s TV format could survive and flourish in the massively changed world of the 21st Century. I was hugely wrong and I am delighted to have been so. Parrrr-tae!
The New Series and Sex:
"Why do the Doctor's companions love him all a sudden? In the old series they never had any sign of romance."
I've never watched a single episode featuring Jamie. Or Jo. Or Sarah. Or Romana. Or Grace. Etc...
"The Doctor shouldn't kiss people he meets on his travels. That's so passe."
I've never told anyone this, but I'm a little uncomfortable with my body.
"Why does RTD have to put something camp in every episode?"
I am worried that people at work might think that because I am a Doctor Who fan, I am also gay. Which I'm not.
"RTD cannot write to save his life."
I have never seen anything else that Russell Davies has ever written apart from Doctor Who. Didn't he write something about poufs? I wouldn't watch that. I'm not gay, I'm straight, me. Have I mentioned, recently, that I'm straight? Because, I am. Totally.
"RDT is DESTROYING the show with his GAY AGENDA and FORCED HUMOUR."
I keep dreaming about bare-chested sailors rubbing baby oil on themselves and I'm really quite worried about it. Because I'm straight, do you hear? Straight! Completely straight!
"The reactions of those girls on the Whogasm video were embarrassingly over the top."
Girls never make those sorts of noises when I'm around. Why is that? And what's an "orgasm" anyway?
"I loathe all the 'Dancing' references in Stephen Moffett's scripts."
I am 29 years old and still a virgin. Girls won't look at me and this makes me really unhappy. Sometimes I sit in the flat I share with my aged mother and cry myself to sleep. Oh why, oh why, oh why don't nice girls like me? Sure I've got acne and body odour and a very small penis but, it's the personality that counts, right? That's what my mother always tells me. And I've got every single bit of Doctor Who merchandise ever released, that should be a conversation starter, shouldn't it? Oh, and I cannot spell Steven Moffat either.
"By making the Doctor explicitly heterosexual, Russell T Davies has taken away a role model for anyone who is uncertain about their sexuality."
I find it utterly impossible to identify with someone who doesn't fancy exactly the same people I do. And I certainly don't see any inherent contradiction between this and simultaneously complaining about sex being too important in Doctor Who.
"RTD has completely emasculated Doctor Who. I hate the way he's made the Doctor go around falling in love and having sex."
I'm either trying too hard to be knowingly clever or I genuinely don't know what the word "emasculate" means.
"Sex does not belong in Doctor Who. There should be no hanky panky in the TARDIS."
I had a strict Catholic upbringing and, as a consequence, have an A level in Guilt. I did, however, enjoy that bit in 'Last of the Timelords' where Captain Jack was all chained up. Odd, that.
"What will the Doctor do with his hand?"
A serious question about future series continuity but I'm going to dress it up as a bit of good old fashioned sexual innuendo.
"Who do you think took the Master's ring?"
See above.
Jumping the Shark:
"The show has Jumped the Shark."
I didn't like the latest episode. And, since everyone else on the Internet uses this dreadfully crass and loaded phrase – even though most of them don't have the slightest idea of what it actually means - and it sounds SO cool, I want in.
"Has Doctor Who Jumped The Shark?"
I am either too lazy or too self-absorbed to have noticed all of the other threads with exactly the same title posted over the last three years when I ask this question. (See also RTD Must Go!)
Russell T Davies:
"RTD Must Go!"
I never said a bad thing about Jon Nathan-Turner. Honestly. No, really…
"What's with RTD and his Gay Agenda???!!!"
I resent the fact that Doctor Who is representative of the audience that watches it including all groups from today's society without the ignorant prejudices of my youth. Please return me to the 1970s where I was far happier watching It Ain't Half Hot Mum, Danny LaRue and Larry Grayson.
"What's with RTD and the constant TOKENISM in Doctor Who? They should do some RESEARCH!!!"
I'm complaining chiefly about the fact that a black person was cast as an extra in scenes set in Elizabethan England or 18th Century France. This is clearly unrealistic because everyone knows that everyone in Europe at that time was Caucasian white. Obviously. Also obviously, I am claiming this without having carried out any research of my own into the subject. Research that would have proven me completely wrong. Please return me to the 1970s where I was far happier watching Love Thy Neighbour, Alf Garnett and Bernard Manning.
"RTD is only interested in a ceaseless quest for popularity and ratings."
I would much prefer it if Doctor Who were made exclusively for an audience of one. Me.
"RTD shouldn't ignore the long term fans."
I wasn't paying attention when UNIT, K9, Sarah, Gallifrey, The Time Lords, Axons, Sea Devils, Davros, the Cybermen, artron energy, isomorphic controls etc. were mentioned and/or seen.
"RTD doesn't understand Doctor Who."
Russell T Davies has just contradicted my carefully worked out fan-fiction arc and I'm sulking about it.
"Actually, I am a writer, so I do have some professional insight into what RTD is doing wrong."
I'm 34 and once had a poem published in my school magazine when I was 11. It's still in a frame on my wall.
"I can't wait until RTD steps down as show-runner."
I am going to be painfully reminded of the old truism "be careful what you wish for, it might just come true" if we get saddled with Chris Chibnall in 2009.
"Davies is now so well-insulated in his own little Doctor Who bunker that he's no longer capable of seeing things from the audience's point of view."
I'm conveniently forgetting that all major decisions that Russell makes will be taken in conjunction with Julie Gardner and Phil Collinson and will have the additional blessing of other executives within the BBC.
"A joke thread blaming all of the world's ills on RTD has got over 1,000 replies on Outpost Gallifrey."
None of us know what to do with ourselves on Saturday evenings anymore. Seriously, it's a big problem...
"Why does RTD use so much pop music in Doctor Who?"
I am a Young Person but I wish to look culturally superior to the rest of those plebs that I am unfortunate enough to go to school with.
"That was just lazy writing."
RTD never replied to a single one of the numerous letters and script suggestions I sent to him, despite the fact that I wrote them in green ink, drew little Daleks in the margins and wrote "I Wuv You the Mostest, Baby" on the back of the envelopes before dousing them in Lynx "Forbidden Fruit" aftershave and personally delivering them to the BBC reception. Okay, yes, I was escorted off the premises the second time. And the third. And every time thereafter. And, yes, I do currently have a restraining order which forbids me to go within fifty yards of any Doctor Who-related personnel. But in no way can my regular offensive online comments about Russell's writing ability and sexuality be considered the jealous rantings of an infantile obsessive.
"I want Steven Moffat to take over."
... So that I can find something new to complain about.
"RTD has raped my childhood."
I started watching the Tom Baker episodes four years ago on UK Gold and don't think much of the new series.
Catherine Tate:
"Catherine Tate? I shall boycott Season Four."
Catherine Tate? Excellent! I shall watch all of Season Four with preconceived ideas and then come onto Outpost Gallifrey each Saturday night during the Spring of 2008 and tell everybody who is interested - and anybody who isn't, for that matter - how much I disliked it. How it was "wretched", "childish", "embarrassing", "cringeworthy", full of RTD's "Gay Agenda" and how he and Catherine Tate have, personally, "raped my childhood". And then I'll feel much better.
"I can't even begin to describe how angry I am about the casting of Catherine Tate."
I know that my country took part in what may well be considered an illegal war in Iraq, as a consequence of which people are still dying every hour; I know that we live daily with the terrifying threat of Intercontinental terrorism; I know that global warming poses a significant threat to all life on this planet; but what has really moved me to sign an Internet petition and vent my impotent fury, publicly, is "an actress getting a job." I hate everyone in the entire world, including myself.
"When I first heard about the casting of Catherine Tate I was utterly horrified. On further reflection, however, I realised that it could actually be a good thing. Or possibly a bad thing. Or maybe something in between. However, I think the best thing for me to do is write out a 2,000 word list of all the Pros and Cons on the subject that I can think of so you can all see how balanced and fair I'm being."
I am somewhat indecisive, positively love the sound of my own voice, and have Asperger's Syndrome.
"Jon Pertwee."
An actor who - at the time he was cast in Doctor Who - was chiefly known for his comic characterisations with wide popular appeal. A masterstroke of casting which reinvigorated the show.
"Catherine Tate."
An actress who - at the time she was cast in Doctor Who - was chiefly known for her comic characterisations with wide popular appeal. A mistake of quite apocalyptic proportions that will, I predict, kill off the show for good.
"Catherine Tate has neither the range nor the talent to contribute to Doctor Who."
The only things I have ever seen Catherine Tate in are 'The Runaway Bride' and a handful of sketches from The Catherine Tate Show. Which I didn't like.
"I am starting a petition to stop Catherine Tate becoming the new companion. We might have time to get enough signatures."
I have no earthly understanding of how TV production companies work and would possibly look touchingly naïve if what I was trying to do wasn't quite so self-centred, mean-spirited and downright malicious.
"The petition is going very well."
We've had about four hundred replies so far at least a quarter of which are from people, reasonably, pointing out that those who have signed up to this petition really need to have a good hard look at perspective and what's actually important in life. Signatories may also like to ponder on the question of why it is that they are the butt of jokes by others who will have every right to feel both morally and intellectually superior to them after this ill-conceived and pointless malarkey. For the three hundred or so posters who are - seemingly - SERIOUS, here are some tips: Firstly, if you expect to have things like petitions taken seriously then you need a hell of lot more signatures than you've currently got or, indeed, are likely to get. Secondly, you should also think about acquiring a cause that people actually give a bugger about because, to be honest, "an actress that I have problems with being hired to a TV show I like" genuinely isn't on most people's list of things worth the time and trouble of supporting. And, lastly, much better spelling than you've got would also help. We'd tell you all to "get a life" but, actually thinking about it, you've all got one. It's just a hollow and rather lonely and sad one. Do you think a pet would help?
Kylie Minogue:
"Kylie Bloody Minogue!"
Oh crap. They've cast a 21st Century icon in Doctor Who. They're gonna get ten million plus for the Christmas episode. Now, nobody will listen to me when I say it's rubbish. And I don't like the fact that RTD has cast her in the first place because I am aggressively heterosexual. Na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na ... STOP IT!
Ratings/Audience Appreciation Index Figures:
"The ratings, audience share, AI figures, BAFTA awards and critical acclaim that the new series receives all suggest that you're wrong."
Ha! Ha! Ha! I - and eight million other people - like new Doctor Who and you don't. For the first time in my entire life I'm in the majority and it's absolutely BRILLIANT. I can take the piss out of glakes like you and other people will queue up to support me without getting on my case. It's like all of my birthdays have come at once.
"We're all doomed! Aaaaaaaaaaarghhhh!!!!"
Yesterday was a bright sunny day in mid-June and a handful of people decided to record Doctor Who and watch it later instead of watching it live because they were having a barbecue in their garden and, as a consequence the ratings this week went down by a few.
"I was very disappointed this week's episode only got 6.8 million ratings and an audience share of 36.2%, a decrease of last week's figures."
I have absolutely no idea how ratings or audience share actually works but didn't someone tell me that the Morecambe & Wise Show once got 27 million or something?
"I thik 7 millon is a very poor rating figwr (sp?) I dont get this exuse just coz the wethers gud ppl wont wacth it lol"
According to my user profile I am an 18 year old "student". However my spelling, punctuation and general lack of anything approaching common sense suggest that this is, in reality, a complete lie. Actually, I am either twelve and need a good slapping or sixteen and desperately need a boyfriend/girlfriend. I also, clearly, should be spending a lot less time posting on Outpost Gallifrey and a lot more time at my place of education.
"High ratings do not equal quality."
I'm appalled that lots of people are suddenly watching and enjoying the programme. Doctor Who used to be a cornerstone of my cherished outsider persona which allowed me to feel smug and superior towards the proles. I can't do that anymore and it rilly pisses me off.
"The AI figures and ratings mean nothing."
I don't get it; how come some many people liked it so much?
"Awards mean nothing."
I don't get it; how come so many professionals liked it so much?
"The AI figures don't prove that the episode was any good."
I really wish I could say that "most people hated it" without being proved wrong by statistics. But, unfortunately, I can't.
Science and Doctor Who:
"That's just bad science."
I am unable to suspend my disbelief long enough to enjoy fictional TV drama.
"I didn't like 'Last of the Time Lords' because the Doctor's supposed to be a scientist and shouldn't use magic or stuff that's not explained properly."
I believe that all of the science in the Classic Series was 100% accurate. And, to prove it, I have constructed a working time-flow analogue out of wine corks and forks. And, I know it works because the Master's TARDIS has never dematerialised next to me.
"The first rule of science fiction is: You do not rewind time."
Yes, I am *still* very bitter that no one has begged me to write for the new series.
"The science in the show should be more accurate. 'The Impossible Planet' proved that nobody on this show knows anything about black holes."
I have a degree in astrophysics, which I like to boast about when I'm on the Internet, and I can drop words like "glonthometer", "floccinaucinihilipilification", "uncopywriteable" and "pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis" into the conversation. Yet people always shuffle away from me at parties for some strange reason that I haven't been able to fathom yet. I am clearly unaware that the entire premise of this programme that I've been watching since childhood is one that features a spaceship disguised as a 1950s police telephone box that is bigger on the inside than it is on the outside and can travel through time piloted by an alien who has two hearts and can change his physical appearance each time the actor playing him gets nervous about typecasting.
"I am fed up of things happening in Doctor Who without proper explanation."
Technobabble always makes me feel much smarter.
Politics and Doctor Who:
"I am very uncomfortable with Doctor Who being used as a political soapbox."
I vote Tory and step over beggars in the street.
"I'm really not sure I like the idea of a black companion. Not that I'm racist, of course. God, no - the first record I ever bought was a Bob Marley single."
Bloody Nora, darkie postman, darkie centre forwards, darkie Doctor Who companions... where the Hell's it all gonna end? Mother, have you finished ironing my hood, yet? I'm supposed to be meeting the lads in half an hour for a lynching.
"Torchwood is marvellous gritty drama."
I'm sure that 'gritty' means *something*, so I'll just use it for any programme where the regulars wear black, swear casually and have lesbian sex.
"Torchwood was rubbish."
I thought Torchwood was going to be like Doctor Who and have Daleks and Cybermen and Sarah Jane and K9 and The Doc and the TARDIS in it and keep me amused during the autumn while there was no Doctor Who on BBC1. Instead it was completely different and I feel totally let down. RTD Must Go!
"I don't know how much faith to put in this, right, but a mate of mine who works at the BBC has just told me that..."
I am madly excited that I might have got the first news about a major (and, by that, I mean Brigadier-General) spoiler for the new season. But at the same time I am also shitting myself that my mate - who works in photocopying for BBC Radio Rutland - is simply pulling my tiddler and I'm going to end up looking like a proper Charlie. So, I'm totally hedging my bets here, all right?
"I've heard, unofficially, that RTD, David, Freeyma and Phil are all leaving at the end of Season Four."
I believe literally everything that I read in tabloid newspapers. Even the contradictory stuff.
"I have just watched what can only be described as THE worst episode of Doctor Who that I have ever witnessed in all my life. How can this drivel be acceptable to anyone? Fellow fans, I urge you to join with me in a campaign to rid ourselves of this plague that calls itself RTD. I've started a petition…"
Damn, that reminds me, I should have picked up my repeat prescription this morning.
"The First Series Boxset was a clever and innovative packaging design that worked well at being eye-catching and selling the show to HMV-browsers."
I bought the TARDIS boxset and I'm bitter about the slimline re-issue, but I'll be damned before I'll admit I was wrong.
"A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds. Ralph Waldo Emerson."
Someone has just noticed that a post of mine contradicted a post I made two weeks ago about never watching Catherine Tate or Torchwood again.
"Talent borrows, genius Steals. Oscar Wilde."
I bought a Smiths single once and found this scratched into the inner groove. I've been waiting twenty two years to use it somewhere. No, I don't know what relevance it has to the matter in hand either.
"An Open Letter to..."
I am too cheap to buy a stamp and too full of a towering sense of my own importance to realise that nobody in the whole world wants to hear my pointless views. About anything.
"Doctor Who Confidential is too full of people being smug and self-satisfied about how great they are."
Doctor Who Confidential is full of people who are perfectly entitled to feel smug and self-satisfied about how great they are.
"Doctor Who Magazine is too positive about the new Doctor Who and too afraid to say anything negative."
For some strange reason I had the certain expectation that an officially licenced magazine would put the boot into the show that it covers. I was totally shocked and stunned when that didn't happen.
"It was in the Sun and the Sun has a pretty good record when it comes to Doctor Who exclusives."
I am conveniently forgetting all of the stories that they got completely wrong, and all of the other stories that they got partially right but mostly wrong. So, when exactly IS Zöe Lucker going to be appearing as the Rani, then?
"The CGI was poor."
I watch far too many multi-million dollar Hollywood action films and my palate has become jaded.
"It's disappointing that Television Without Pity aren't covering Doctor Who any more. I really looked forward to Jacob's recaps."BUGGER! My dissertation on "Literary and Mythic Themes in Doctor Who" is only two-thirds finished and now I've got nothing to rip-off.
"The Doctor is a surrogate father-figure - not only for the companions but, also, the audience."
I read Sylvia Plath for English A-level ... I never said I passed, mind.
"Adam will return as Davros - FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE!"
Yes, I do still quote entire Monty Python sketches at student parties... how could you possibly know that?
"That bit was completely ripped-off from Star Wars."
I believe that the world began in 1977.
"That bit was completely ripped-off from Buffy."
It's a little known fact that Joss Whedon actually invented not only television, but also the Internet.
"I think James Marsters would be a brilliant choice for the next Doctor."
I am twelve and have only ever seen one other television show in my life.
"I think Anthony Head would be a brilliant choice for the next Master."
I have such a limited imagination that any time anybody starts a thread about future potential casting, I always mention the same four or five actors. Because I am completely unable to disassociate them from the roles that they previously played in TV series that I liked. See also "I think Alyson Hannigan would be a brilliant choice for the next companion."
"Doctor Who is totally phat, large, wicked and fly, innit guy?"
I'm clearly in the wrong forum, I was looking for http://www.whiteguyscantrap.com/
"I have the Loyhargil! Nothing in the world can stop me now!"
... Nope, sorry. No idea whatsoever. Wouldn't even like to hazard a guess.
"It is completely unrealistic to show so many mixed race couples in Doctor Who."
... And, that's a big shout out to all the other OG'ers in Alabama... Yee-haw.
"Unworthy of the diamond logo."
I read The Discontinuity Guide and loved the way that Paul Cornell casually dropped Mark Gatiss's name in the introduction.
"That's a Retcon."
I own the Discontinuity Guide and About Time vols 1-5. I also watch the new series. I can't stand the confusion in my mind!
"That definitely wasn't a Retcon or a Continuity Error."
I wrote the Discontinuity Guide, baby. I make the rules in this house!
"I think it's totally brilliant that some of the writers post on here."
Will you be my friend, Steven? Please? I'm your biggest fan...
"Hi, I'm Steven Moffat."
"As someone mentioned, earlier on in this thread..."
This discussion has been going on for eleven bloody pages, all weekend, and I've read every single post. I've also got a post of my own on every page. I've wasted both Saturday and Sunday pressing F5 every half hour on an Internet forum. And, as the thread shows no sign of ending anytime soon, I'll probably be wasting every spare second next week at work doing the same (and hoping my boss doesn't catch me). And I'm in my forties. Pity me.
"The Wholly Unofficial Outpost Gallifrey Ratings, Audience Share, AI and "future of Doctor Who" FAQ."
Why on earth do I bother every week? Nobody reads the sodding thing anyway and there will undoubtedly be at least three of these questions asked within the first five pages of the thread after which I will oh-so-bloody-politely refer the questioner back to this post, all the whilst picturing their despairing faces as I squeeze the worthless life from their pathetic little, acne-ridden, specky, anorak-wearing bodies. I never get a lie-in on a Sunday morning you know? I dunno here I am, brain the size of an Adidas Telstar and I'm stuck here with you lot answering the same inane question about whether 6.8 million is "any good or not" every week. I taught Paul Cornell everything he knows, me. And I was the first author who wasn't Terrence Dicks named on the cover of a BBC Doctor Who novel. All right, it was a crap one, but still … Sorry, what was the question again?
"I'm so glad that you enjoyed my latest blog entry and that you wanted to put a link to it on your site. It's very flattering."
"This will completely ruin Season Four."
I am Nostradamus. I predict that the 4:20 at Chepstow will be won by a horse.
"I'll bet this episode is going to be no good."
I backed a horse at twenty-to-one. It came in at ten-to-four. Nah, lisshun...
"Celebrity fan."
Some bolshy self-aggrandising ginger gobshite who had four thoroughly wretched novels published in the 1990s which were read by semi-literate glakes. And, who's spent the decade since making a career out of talking bollocks, loudly, about Doctor Who. See, also, Topping, Keith.
With many sincere thanks to:
Elephant (who started the whole thing off), Duckbutcher, The Other, IRS Walker, Paperback Writer, Lee Ratbag, Nick Barlow, Rich T, Northern Doctor, Duncan P, Gamma, Callufrac Clockmaker, Doc Filth, Paul Jennings, KrimsonGray, Coriander, Querulous Quirk, Crayola of Doodah, The Phantom Piper, The Revolutionist, Affirmation, Chronologix, Abslom Daak, The Molk, Dalek Warhol, Corek, Jon Blum, Laura Potter, L'Enfuntchi, Nastally, Captain J, Skywise, Jon 'Pick, Pick, Pick' Arnold, Debbie Williams, Rob Stickler, Graeme Raj Kaputni, wiccaman Imbolc Fire, Johnstone666, Starrfire, Rumleech, Easter Lily, James Lindsay, Miles Hamer and everyone else who contributed to the seminal Fan's Phrasebook thread. And an especially big shout-out to the divine Anna Pickard at the Gruniad for taking us to a wider audience. And, of course, finally, an extra-special thanks to our spiritual God, Sparacus. Without whom …


text:
Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy creator Douglas Adams' other great work of anarchic science fiction, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency, comes to the BBC this fall/winter, as a one-hour pilot. But what happens if Dirk gets an ongoing series?
From the sound of things, the first 60-minute Dirk Gently episode will be an adaptation, at least in part, of the first book — the only plot summary so far is that Dirk tries "to solve the disappearance of a cat from an old lady's house." It's being shown on BBC4 — not exactly the most high-profile channel, it must be said — and the script is written by Howard Overman, creator of Misfits and Vexed.
If the one-hour pilot does well, the BBC will consider commissioning an ongoing series. And given there are only two Dirk Gently books to adapt (plus Salmon of Doubt), I wonder how long it takes before Overman and other writers have to resort to creating their own Dirk Gently stories. It could be awesome, or terrible, or some baffling mixture of the two, but just the prospect of getting more Adamsian weirdness on television again is thrilling. No clue who's playing Dirk Gently yet — the above image is Harry Enfield, who played him in the radio adaptations. [Bleeding Cool via Den Of Geek]


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Speaking & Writing ACCOUNTING. 35 May Bernard H. Berkman (Executive): Corporate Accounting &. Financial Reporting Inst., Washington, D.C.— "SEC Proposals on Disclosure of Projections of Future Economic Performance," July Rafael Cuesta Alvarez (Guayaquil): Sociedad de Contadores del Guayas— "Caracteristicas Basicas de la Contabilidad Moderna." Thomas L. Elliott, Jr., Thomas J, Rally (Boston): Massachusetts CPA Soc. CPE program, Waltham—"Accounting for Income Taxes." Robert J. Jirovec (Las Vegas): United Way of Northern Nevada workshop— "Accounting for Voluntary Health & Welfare Organisations." Thomas J. Reilly (see Elliott) Thomas M. Rowland (Los Angeles): Bank of America corporate banking trainees—"Equity Method of Accounting." James L. Williams (Houston): Texas CPA Soc. seminar—"Local Government Accounting & Auditing." Also Sept., Georgia CPA Soc. seminar. August Floyde W. Burnside, Jr. (San Antonio): United Way agencies—"Major Changes in Financial Statement Requirements." Oral S. Johnson (Salt Lake City): Utah CPA Assn./Utah State Auditor's Office seminar—"Accounting Reporting for General Fixed Assets of Governmental Units." Penrhyn Wilson III (San Diego): California CPA Soc., San Diego chapter, North County technical discussion group, Carlsbad—"Update of FA SB Statements & AICPA Auditing Standards." September Allyn R. Adams (Cleveland): National Assn. of Investment Clubs, Northeast Ohio Council—"Effect on Financial Statements of Change to LIFO & Other Accounting Policies." L.\!eM Dahlenburg (Executive): Southeastern Electric Exchange. Accounting Control Sec., Biloxi— "Current Accounting Developments of SEC." James V Gillick (New York): World Trade Inst.-"Temporal Method of Translation—Review of FASB Proposed Statement." David Goldman (Phoenix): practicing public accountants—"Accounting for Leases—FASB Exposure Draft." Clarence W. Houghton (San Francisco): Southwestern Legal Foundation Inst, on Oil & Gas Accounting, Dallas— "Financial Reporting & Technical Accounting Aspects." Frederic E. leuier (Denver): Colorado State Government Fiscal Managers Assn.—"Generally Accepted Accounting Principles & Reporting Procedures for Non-Higher-Education State Agencies." Bennett S. Robinson (Los Angeles): Robert Morris Associates, Southern California chapter, Irvine—"Current Developments in Financial Accounting Standards." October Robert T Atwood (Washington): California CPA Foundation savings loan conference, San Francisco Si Los Angeles—"Activities of AICPA Task Force on Savings 4k Loan Associations." Daniel A. Bailey (New York): Best's Rerieu—"FASB's Impact to Date on Property ''Casualty Insurers." Also Proceedings, Insurance Accounting & Statistical Assn. Frank J. Borelli, John J, Conefry, Jr. (New York): Arts & Business Council— "Accounting Budgetary Procedures." John J. Cooney (Executive): National Assn. of Accountants professional development seminar—"Current Developments in Accounting Principles." O. Lee Gwalmey, Jr. (see Seek) Joseph G. Seek, Jr., O. Lee Gwaltney, Jr. (Richmond): Virginia CPA Soc., Richmond chapter—"Exposure D r a f t - Accounting for Leases." Stephen C Van Arsdell (Chicago): Journal of Accountancy—"Criteria for Determining Materiality." AUDITING May Richard A. Snider, Paid E. Winters, Jr. (Executive): Auditape licensees, New York—Auditape System seminar, also June, San Francisco. June Phillip E. Callif, Albert J Cannon (Cincinnati): Armco Steel Corp. seminar—"Statistical Sampling Transactions-Testing Techniques in Internal Auditing." Michael D. Frankfurter (Seattle): Soc. of Audit Appraisers, Washington chapter—"Statistical Sampling." July Dale C. Leman (Seattle): Washington CPA Soc. seminar, Renton—"Practical Applications of Statistical Sampling," David W. Moore (Pittsburgh): Pennsylvania CPA Inst., Pittsburgh chapter—"Auditing &. Accounting Problems in Connection with Filing Form EBS-2." August William H. Battey, Dick E. Willden (Executive): New York Univ. graduate-students—" Statistical Sampling in Auditing," Harold C- Neas (Miami): Florida International Univ. auditing students— "Application of S&.L Industry Audit Guide." Fred M- OII«*T (Salt Lake City), Gerald D. Brighton: Journal of Accounumcy- "Auditing State & Local Governmental Units." James M. Spinner (St. Louis): Monsanto Co. internal audit dept. seminar— "Utilisation of H&iS Auditape." John P. Tighe (New York): Ross Inst, of Accounting Research, seminar for Japanese CPAs—"Auditing Banks." Dick E. Willden (see Battey) September Jay L. Atwood, A. Jamas Larson (Salt Lake City): Commercial Security Bank branch managers credit officers— "What To Expect in an Audit Report." Ira J. Edelson (Chicago): Friedman, Eisenstein, Raemer &. Schwartz—"EDP System Controls &L Fraud." Douglas B. Hodden (see Zaeget) Terry L. Henderson (Houston): Assn. of College University Auditors—"EDP Audit Control." A. James Larson (see Atwood) Gary F. McMahon (Denver): Univ. of South Dakota symposium — "Disclosure." Daniel M. Norris (Orlando): Florida CPA Inst., Volusia County chapter, Daytona Beach — "Working Papers Content Litigation." Also Inst, of Internal Auditors, Raleigh-Durharr chapter, Raleigh. Thomas M. Rowland (Los Angeles): Bank of America loan-officer trainees— "The CPA & His Client's Financial Statements." James F. Temple (Honolulu): Hospital Financial Management Assn., Hawaii chapter, Kaanapali Beach, Maui— "Independent Audit: Minimizing Costs, Maximizing Benefits." Robert L, 2aegel, Douglas B. Hodden (St. Louis): Missouri CPA Soc. workshop— "Computer Security Internal Control," October James A. Cox (Las Vegas): Summa Corp. Affiliates, comptrollers conference—"Preparing for the Audit." Haldon G. Robinson (Executive): Financial Writers seminar—"Interim Financial Reporting." Also Michigan CPA Assn., Ann Arbor—"Current Developments in Auditing Standards." Richard D. Skelly (Miami): Assn. of American Railroads internal audit seminar—"Internal Controls in EDP." Richard A. Snyder (Executive): EDP Auditor's Assn., Minneapolis chapter— "Data-Base Management Systems & the Auditor." Richard A. Vines (Atlanta): Morehouse College students—"Auditing EDP Systems."
Object Description
Speaking & writing
Speeches, addresses, etc.
|Illustrations not included in the Web version.
H&S Reports, Vol. 13, (1976 winter), p. 33-38
|Originally published by: Haskins & Sells
|Copyright and permission to republish held by: Deloitte
|PDF page image with corrected OCR scanned at 400 dpi
|Deloitte Digital Collection
|Digital Publisher
|University of Mississippi Library. Accounting Collection
|Date-Digitally Created


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Raising livestock is one of the main sources of income and livelihood for many people living in rural or farm areas. Most people get their food from the animals that they are tending. But because of certain diseases, many of these animals are dying. Here are some of the most common diseases that cows, cattle, and sheep may acquire.Blackleg is very fatal young cattle disease. This disease is caused by bacteria called Clostridium chauvoei. These bacteria may enter your cattle through ingestion and is able to penetrate into the body through small holes in the digestive tract. The disease cannot be acquired from infected cattle to a healthy one just by mere contact. Some of the early symptoms of infection of this disease are loss of appetite, fever, depression, lameness, and quick breath rate. Swellings may also occur in the hip, chest, back, neck and all around the body. Death for the animal may occur from 12 to 24 hours upon infection. Vaccines are already available against this deadly disease.Bangs Disease aka brucellosis of cattle or contagious abortion is a disease caused by a bacterium called Brucella abortus. An animal infected with this disease will suffer from premature calving, usually on the 5th or 8th month of pregnancy. Milk coming from an infected cow may contain the bacteria and may present harm to humans, because this is the bacteria that causes undulant fever in humans.Caseous Lymphadenitis is a highly contagious infection in goats and sheep. The bacterium is able to enter the animal through open wounds, punctures, shearing, and oral ingestion of pus from abscess that has ruptured.Mad Cow Disease is caused when abnormal proteins occur in the cow's brain, spinal column, small intestine, and even in their blood. They can also be found in lymph nodes, and bone marrow. It is believed that this disease is able to enter a cow when that cow is able to eat a product which is made from other animals that have the mad cow disease. Humans are also vulnerable to this disease. Humans may acquire this disease by eating a meat or drinking the milk of the infected animal. Some of the early symptoms that cow displays if they are infected with mad cow are: difficulty in standing and walking, poor muscle coordination, changes in behavior and attitude, sudden weight loss, and lesser milk production.Knowing the symptoms of some of the animal diseases will greatly help you prevent an outspread of that disease. Once you find out that your animal has a disease, immediately ask for help from your veterinarian.
Colorado Springs Real Estate – Black Forest Homes | Real estate
Find your dream house property in the Colorado Springs real estate area of the Black Forest. This part of the Colorado Springs real estate area is located in northern El Paso County. The Black Forest is a rural area that is situated on approximately 200,000 acres of land. The area is heavily wooded with mostly Ponderosa Pine trees. Black Forest is a mix of older homes and newer homes. The northwestern Black Forest real estate area includes: High Forest Ranch established 2001-2004, Walden established 1965-2002, Hawk Ridge established 1994-2000, Wissler Ranch established 1996-1999, and Elk Creek Ranch established 1980-1993.Home Prices & DescriptionsMany of the homes for sale in the Black Forest real estate area are 5 acre house properties. There are mostly ranch style homes and 2 story homes. Some of the homes are custom homes and reflect "country style" living and some of the homes resemble houses that blend into "city living". Many of these Colorado Springs real estate subdivisions include features such as: multiple decks and fireplaces, slate floors, barns and garages, granite counters, and theater rooms.The minimum sales price for homes in 2008 in the Black Forest is $375,000. The minimum size Black Forest home for sale is 3,408 finished square feet. The minimum home for sale is 3 bedrooms, 3 baths, and a 3 car garage. The average sales price in 2008 is $650,000 and is 4,527 finished square feet. The average size home for sale is 4 bedrooms, 4 baths, and a 4 car garage. The maximum sales price in this Colorado Springs real estate area is $925,000 and is 5,646 finished square feet. The maximum size home for sale is 5 bedrooms, 5 baths, and a 5 car garage.One of the newer communities in the Black Forest real estate area is the prestigious High Forest Ranch. The Ranch has rustic custom homes for sale. There are close to 20 different custom builders to choose from. Some of the homes in this Colorado Springs real estate area are situated on 2.5-5 acres of land. Residents in the High Forest Ranch area have community lodge at their disposal for those special occasions. The custom homes for sale in this Colorado Springs real estate area range from $499,900-$3.5 million. Amenities for some of the homes include: multiple fireplaces, slab granite counter tops, vaulted ceilings, great rooms, family room, master retreats, theater rooms, billiard rooms, wine rooms, travertine flooring, outdoor covered decks, and wet bars. Many of the Colorado Springs homes for sale in this area have extensive timber and stone features.The Walden real estate area has beautiful custom ranch style homes with lots between approximately 1/2 acre and 1 acre in size. Many of the homes have stucco exteriors and resemble more of a "city look." Some of these Colorado Springs real estate neighborhoods include: custom cabinets, molding and trim, granite slab kitchen counter tops, hardwood floors, multiple fireplaces, 5 piece master baths, vaulted great room, stucco exteriors, perennial gardens, offices, recreation rooms, game area, formal dining rooms, wood decks with hot tub, walk-out rancher, and gourmet kitchens. Homes for sale in this Colorado Springs real estate area range from the high $200,000s to just under $600,000.In the privacy of the pines is the prominent Hawk Ridge real estate area. Hawk Ridge has homes for sale on approximately 2.5 acres or less. Many of the homes are custom homes with features like: hardwood floors, walls of windows, multiple fireplaces, French doors, granite kitchen islands, custom cabinets, hand crafted banisters, ponds, walk-out dining area, and large decks. The homes for sale in the Hawk Ridge community range from the approximately the mid $500,000s to 1.3 million dollars. This part of the Colorado Springs real estate area borders the Black Forest area.The Wissler Ranch homes for sale range from the mid $400,000s to $900,000. Some of the homes have luxurious living and family rooms, huge open kitchens, spacious master suites, home theaters, wine cellars, exercise rooms, recreation rooms, and 5 piece master baths. Many of the homes are on approximate 3 acre lots. Some of the homes are gorgeous cottage style houses with old world charm. The homes for sale in this Colorado Springs real estate area range from the mid $450,000s to the mid $800,000s. The Wissler Ranch community also borders the Black Forest area.There are some homes for sale in the Elk Creek community in the low $200,000s. The homes are located in meadows and in the woods. Most of the homes are on five acre lots and are zoned for horses. Some of the homes have beautiful mountain views and some are located in the meadows and have natural streams running through the properties. Many of the homes include barns, storage sheds, fences for horses, RV parking. There are custom homes in this community. Find your perfect dream horse property in this Colorado Springs real estate area. Amenities include: vaulted/beamed ceilings, large kitchens, fireplaces, skylights, multiple decks, oversized garages, and covered stalls.Schools.The schools of attendance are: Lewis Palmer Elementary School, Ray E. Kilmer Elementary School, Lewis Palmer Middle School, Creekside Middle School, and Lewis Palmer High School. The schools are part of the Lewis Palmer School District 38 boundary area.Neighboring Communities.The Southwestern portion of the Black Forest is located to the south and contains the Black Forest Regional Park. The Black Forest extends to the east. The Kings Deer, Canterbury, Fox Run, and Cherry Creek Crossing subdivisions are situated to the west.Commuting.The northwestern Colorado Springs real estate area of Black Forest is located near Highway 83 and County Line Road. It is convenient for commuting to Colorado Springs and Denver. This part of the Air Force Academy real estate area is located approximately 30 minutes or 22 miles from the USAFA main gate and is a possible Colorado Springs military relocation choice.Recreation.The High Forest Ranch community has miles of hiking trails and open space. It is close to the Tri-lakes real estate area. Three lakes and multiple golf courses are located in the Tri-lakes area. Shopping is close by in Monument, Castle Rock, Denver and Colorado Springs real estate locations.