text:
|aka Down there where they breed national heroes
|Wouldn't Dowtcha Boy!
|The Langer Song
|Co. Cork
|The People's Republic of Cork
|Era, about 5 Million like!
|ethnic groups
|Corkonians,Knackers, Foxy, People with an unusual and unfounded opinion of themselves and where they come from.
|languages / dialects
|Hiberno-English, Crack Ebonics
|The Frank and Walters, The Sultans of Ping F.C., Five Go Down to the Sea
|Trevor Welch
|Cathal Coughlan
- Were you looking for Dublin? If so go fuck yourself.
Cork, the capital of the People's Republic of Cork, was founded in the year of our Lord 1988 by some mog.
Many others soon followed her lead once word got around that she was building a free society established in a small but perfectly formed spot called "Sir Henry's" in which it was legal (read obligatory) to marry farmyard animals. She was joined by many other likeminded loonies and soon the town began to thrive and prosper, in love and the spirit that is dancing for no money.
The love died in 1994 but was brought back to life again two years later by Keano, king of the world. It went on to live for ten more glorious minutes before it finally snuffed it again. It is buried under a pile of rags at the bottom of the garden.
Strangely enough, the Gardaí (Irish for People-posing-as-the-Police) or Shades if you're from Cork still got several hundred calls from people that claimed to have seen it crawl around on a stage in Dublin in December 2005. The shades usually hang around the gaff's around Barrack St, much to be avoided.
Today Cork is populated with a strange, quirky people (known as Pikeys) who mostly wear red. tarmac driveways and finish each sentence with the word 'boy'. An example being : 'Here, boy'? Dat sunshine is feckin blindin boy'. Or 'What langer wrote this shite, boy?'. Sun has since been banned in all parts of Cork due to an outbreak of smacked arse syndrome. Corkonians (Wankers for short), especially North-siders, have a fierce distrust of everyone and everything around them. Especially people with an education. They are easily spotted as all (including women) have taken to growing handlebar moustaches and drinking cans of Dutch Gold (recently Corkonians have discovered a world of alcohol outside of dutch mould and expanded their range into drinks such as druids cider and royal dutch, however when in a public house (in Ireland) corkonians are usually spotted drinking Murphy's stout simply because it all started in cork biy!. When in a pub outside of Ireland they can be seen asking the question WHAT no murphy's?, ah ill hafta settle for guinness so i suppose) . But beware they are extermly dangorous and travel in packs. 'We is de proper capital of dis here Ireland, boy', they shout when passing through Dublin on their way to collect their benefits, usually with some kind of all-Ireland cup under-arm (wether they actually won it or stole it).
Cork also has one of the highest suicide and rates in the world. Over 90% of the population tries suicide within their first year of marriage (mostly due to arguments with their sibling/spouse after the honeymoon period).
Corkesians say the word 'Boy' as previously mentioned, but they also use the word 'Like'. Should be mentioned that Red is their favourite colour, not pink, unless talking about tracksuits or Dubliners.
Cork vs. Dublin: Soulmates[edit]
Although Cork and Dublins relations have been frosty for decades since the "Clondalkin Massacre" where a miss-guided Stag party from Cork attempted to sing "Boys of fairhill" and "Luchenbach,Texas" by Waylon Jennings in a local Clondalkin pub only hours after Cork's demolition of Dublin in Croke Park.Needless to say the publicans reaction wasn't welcoming and their remains have yet to have been found.Despite these differences Corkonians and Dubs have much in common.
- They both hate each other
- They both consider everybody else as "culchies"
- People from the south of the City hate people from the north
- People from the north of the city hate people from the south
- Both have incomprehendable accents to outsiders,it is thought they can understand each other
- Even when their sports team is below average,they still expect nothing less than a victory.
- They are the only two citys with major socio-economic troubles. Therefore basketball is a popular sport in both citys.
- Cork People refer to Cork as "The real capital" (due to poor geography teaching) this annoys Dubs!
It is also worth noting that dubliners are also known in cork by the popular term jackeens....as heard in the song you are a jackeen, a scummy jackeen, you're only happy on dole day, your mams been stealing, your dads drug dealing, so please dont take my hubcaps away -sung to the tune of u are my sunshine. This song is best when heard live at any Cork City FC Vs (insert dublin team here) match. A recommended activity when in the cork city region.
Also, many Dublin tourists who "may or may not have" come to Cork have yet to be found. It is said by officials that, "They got lost, found themselves in Belfast, and got slaughtered by Ian Paisley." When a reporter questioned the fact that they were heading south, the same official said, "...".
What people don't know is when you go out in cork you can get langers and still pull the best looking norrie and going back to her gaff in hollyhill or the glen to bang her,this is common tradition among young cork folk from the northside of town.
This practise must be undertaken with serious caution however as you could end up in the wrong old doll and get yourself a serious batin for your troubles off her fella, who is usually sporting a cap angled at 90 degrees from his head, a coal-quay brand fred perry top and ofcourse a knacker-tash, which is a patially grown moustache that just looks like the wearer forgot to shave for a couple of days, he may also have a pair of nike air max runners which may too have been purchased in the coal quay.
Something to look out for on a trip to cork is a local type of group called "Da Boys".They usually travel in pairs once they a tannked up on a few pints and shots.They wear blue jeans,white t-shirt,glasses and have names such as freddy big balls.Once drunk they are to be avoided at all cost to your health.
A trip to Mangan's is a must for all those lovers of clubbing.Finish off the night with 3 double cheeseburgers in the 'blue mcDonalds'(which is shit by the way, no-one goes there cept when the good one's closed).
Fred Zeppelin's is a shitpile and it's going under soon... wait, there it is.
Eating Out (also known as getting a munch)[edit]
Cork also prides itself on its vast range of fine restaurants and tradition of good food. Although where you eat sometimes defines what part of the city you are from. Southsiders bring their families to Dougls restaurant KCs, famous for its fine selection of thin potatoes. Whereas Northsiders will most probably bring their families to the local Soup Kitchen provided by the areas council! It is also a well known tradition to fling any unwanted meal into the air while shouting "Up For The Baa"; any scavengers within the immediate area will have a quick game of "kickshit" trying to reach flying Cuisine!
The long-running battle for supreme dominance of Cork's post-drinking 'it's 3am and if I don't get a burger I'm gonna die' market has been fought between Chilli's Tandoori and Hillbillie's. This war is often referred to as 'Chilli's Vs. 'Billie's'. Commentators have often praised Hillbillie's for its central location, solid chicken burgers (known locally as a breast in a bun) and its strange propensity to be one's last chance to score, fight or both. On the other hand Chillie's boasts splendidly soggy chips and deliciously filthy deep fried burgers. Chilli's Tandoori also has the trump card of being run by the Admiral of the Pakistani Navy, as confirmed by his hat. Of late the Instanbul burger & kebab emporium has also emerged as a heavyweight contender for the title of dirty take away king of Cork. The Istanbul's quarter pounders can be upgraded to a half pounder for a mere 30c extra and they taste extra good when dropped on the floor and still served to you because you're a drunk piece of crap that the staff hate, and wish a merry Christmas as they kick your sorry ass out their brightly painted door. Go piss out those rotten pints you got in the Bróg in an alleyway, you lousy bum.
In early 20,010, Chillie's unfortunately lost its titanic struggle with Hillbilly's after succombing to a short illness and a subsequent ANAL invasion by the shipmates of the Istanbul, who have since set up in its quarters. Mourning the loss of an honourable rival, Hillbilly's representatives issued a press release in which "manky brown chips" were discussed at length, before taking the local Abrakebabra to task for sourcing its "secret sauce" to male staff members freshly "milking" each other.
Vegetarians in the area generally are left with two choices, once things such as oil the meat's been fried in and personal hygiene are considered: Cafe Paradiso, a posh, fuck-off overrated den of posers and fiscally overburdened, and the Quay Co-op, a faux-socialist, badly-run den of posers, non-vegetarians and incompetent management. The food in these places, however, is still decades ahead of its cruelty-loving competition: the veggie lasagna is a class B narcotic.
Cork City in and of itself contains a crack squad of the finest street drunkards known to all humanity. Basing themselves around Patrick's Hill, and claiming residence in that area's retail outlets, this team of professional wasters roams the town challenging little children to fights and casting all non-Irish Catholics to hell. Such is their power that upon issuing said threat to said non-patriotic, non-God-fearing, non-IRA-supportive heathens, that the ground cracks open and hell itself extends a fiery arm to bring them down. All of the team members are allied in an important goal: to fucking irritate everyone in their path. Another commonality in the team is their alleged relation to Michael Collins. This has yet to be proven, but a common DNA pattern would explain their state. Cork's street drinking team cannot be fucked with, despite several attempts by police, army and King Diamond, who finally combusted after a long screaming match with Mary took its toll on his wearying frame.
Mikey and Mary[edit]
Current Cork City tag team champions of drinkage. Known to arse around near Crowley's. The female of the species is certifiably Bat Fuck Insane, thinking nothing of urinating in public in the afternoon. Relationship with male of species varies from day-to-day, from family (cousins) to lovers. The male of the species also shows primitive musicality, randomly banging spoons with the accompaniment of a 20-euro boombox. Further study is needed to determine as to any correllation between his spoons and the radio, but it's largely imagined that there is none.
Areas of note[edit]
Cork City center and it's surrounding area is a limitless, fun filled crusade of culture, high end fashion, and concequence free glue sniffing. Here are some areas of interest that may appeal...
Farranree is the shitest part of Cork. This is common knowledge to everyone except people who are from Farranree. It is not uncommon to take a stroll around Farranree on a brisk Sunday morning and see devout churchgoers from Farranrees pension addled, upper class terraces mingle with the youth underbelly returning home from a busy Saturday night of fights, gracious sex and obscene DJ Tiesto fetishism.
Knocknaheeney , also known as Knocka Bai, is essentialy a better Farranree. A veritable warehouse full of chemical wonders to be shipped to the afformentioned youth underbelly of Farranree. It is common knowledge to everybody except those living in Farranree that Farranree is NOT IN ANYWAY better than Knocknaheeney. The two border each other somewhere by that park with all the shit about your old lade written on it. You know the one.
Near the above two romanticised villiages of excellence, Churchfield is a bit like an dormant STD. It just sort of sits their between everything else and ... yeah. It's Churchfield, like. Not hard enough to be from Farranree, not desperate enough to flee into the surrounding KNocknaheeney, Churchfield is like a piggie in the middle. A fat, annonymous one.
In a word, fuck you and fuck your fucking Churchfield. This is common knowledge to everyone but those not living in Farranree & Knocknaheeney.
Glanmire is a bowl,surrounded by hills once you are in the bowl you can not leave. Glanmire is proudly home to plenty of people but everybody knows everybody and if you're lucky enough to crack onto some bird the chances are high that everyone within a 5-mile radius is related to her or has shagged her, or both. Glanmire, once known as "Punto Town" thanks to the proliferation of Fiat Punto's in the area circa the turn of the millenium, is now almost equally well known for white jap imports. The local dialect is distinct from the rest of the northside and varies according to age group, whereby the under-25's generally speak in a fake knacker accent and the over-25 age group speaks in a faux riche, distinctly hoity middle-class accent. Areas of interest and worth visiting include: on the roundabout at supervalu, outside luciano's chipper and near the community college, but it is essential to wear tracksuits and travel in groups of over 10 people.
Blackpool is an overflowing metropolis of black and caucasians who had your old lade. The shopping center it plays host to is the hive of most teen girls from the surrounding area, who are attracted by the various glamour shops and the smell of cakes from the adjacent bakery. The shopping complex and it's locale also house the cinema, some generic silver office blocks which are ideal for tagging, and some fine, fine gatting fields.
The commerce area then leads to long, winding, dust covered roads full of houses where your old lade was had by the same guy you buy your hash off. You know it. Then there is the church. Blackpool church. Much like Willie Wonka's chocolate factory nobody ever goes in, and nobody ever goes out. Instead they stay outside and drink.
Praise the lordah!
Despite Cork, in the grand scale of things, being nothing more than a town - as a whole - [except Farranree], 'Town' is generally reffered to as the area between Patrick's bridge and Christy Ring bridge. The body of 'Town' is of course St. Patricks street which plays host to the Savoy, where all the sham bais hang out, Paul Street, where all the weird goths in black t-shirts with white make-up hang out, you can also indentify them if there cutting there wrists with a blunt pin-knife found under a bridge, and the peace park, where the actual real alternative folk hang out. I say real because they care not for your petty shelters and personal hygiene conventions! Random? Scene? My Chemical Romance? Near Vana? With that feen who shot himself? They are all RUBBISH!
This is common knowledge just to those who sit in the peace park and smoke hash bought from the guy who banged your old lade. Allllll day.
it has been proven that only 5% of the population know that there are other streets in Town except for Patrick street.
Gattin & Foggin[edit]
Not to be confused with the comedy crime duo of the same name, Gattin & Foggin are the two national pastimes of the youth branch of the Peoples Republic Of Cork, as opposed to Hurling and GAA football. GAA football is a common, dirty, manky sport anyway, you fucking bogger.
The typical anatomy of a 'gattin' [notice you never add the final 'G' because it stands for GAAAAAAY] session, or basically a gigantic fucking six hour shove-it-under-your-top-find-a-bush-and-empty-all-down-yer-neck-before-your-old-lade-phones-the-shades drinking session is as follows.
- Da Bais finish they'r wanks at 3PM, leaving them bored.
- Texts are sent, and Da Bais meet up outside a store where alcohol may be purchased at 6PM.
- Da Bais pick Da Bai with the correct look about him, and he gets 'blown out' for not being of age to purchase alcohol.
- Da Bais instead place a phonecall to someone who has an ID sufficient to purcahse the alcohol at 6:30PM.
- Da Older Bai arrives at approximately 9:27PM in a banged up Opel Corsa and purchases Da Bais their fine quality beverages.
- Armed with eight crates of Dutch Gold, Cork's premier cheap lager, mini bottles of cheap, shitty Huzzar Vodka and a terrible choice for mixer [usually Powerade] Da Bais seek a soft bed of grass on which to gat on.
- Da Bais then typicaly get chased out of this lovely patch of land and down all their alcohol en route to plan B.
- Da Bais arrive at Plan B at 12:48AM. Plan B is a wet bus shelter. The night has finnaly begun.
- Fifteen minuets later, the girl most intolerant to alcohol will wank someone off and later throw up.
Foggin refers to the act of smoking some of Cork's fine glass sprayed weed or camel shit covered hashish. I can get ya proper sticky black stuff tho from down west. Give us a ring their bai. Anyway.
- Da Bais get they're fifty bag of weed at 3PM. Fifty euros for three grams or so of the world's worst smoke.
- Da Bais start they're smoking.
- Much food is consumed, somebody tries to convince the bais that the shades are outside, and the night closes out to someones Bob Marley copied CD.
See also[edit]
- Baile Átha Cliath
- Redheads
- Corcaigh language, a dialect of Mandarin
- Waterford, a former colony of United Kingdom of Cork and Northern Brittany
- Sheep
- Cows
- Jehusephat Merryweather's Guide To Low-Cost Bestiality And It's Hotspots
- Galway
- Clare GAA
- Dublin
- Cork GAA


text:
Things to Consider with Advanced Compact Cameras
As camera makers look to convince consumers they still need a digital camera in addition to their smartphones, more advanced features are coming to compact cameras. This can be great -- but also confusing for the amateur photography. AllThingsD's Lauren Goode reports.
This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.
... I were ... crossing says it all and for my dear EVC I might talk to you about Cameron's says that weekend and its compact cameras ... El wire contract entered into a bit more advanced ... well I think it can lawmakers are trying to convince you that you a better camera than just ... your smartphone ... I you start on its print it out with most items ... from him self he isn't a well lit bathroom or on ... pictures here too it ... There's sure if that is that in the low light situations like when a market are are where some cameras aren't that great ... and we all know this is much is the love and where you know these are cast just make another ... it's time to set the makers of seem well ... we then you should use our camera is the money and ATS compact ... and there are certain features of the compact cameras that sounds really great in theory marking ... the continual the confusing ... and so are my reviews the right explains you exactly what some of the NIE ... was ... talking about sensors because the size of the sensor and a digital camera directly impacts ... the quality of food and you're you're going to get that ... I'm centers range in size is smartphones generally have very tiny sensors ... the standard contract we can see it's my ... this uncertainty the sign that ... your QTL ... I am going to move around in the one and sensory this time it is that the first its staff ... cuts and more advanced compact cameras ... and then he gets you a professional grade camera as you get older and sensors are really big one sometimes these are ... I ... one of my business cards it's the it's late in the fourth of the business for nearly a slightly larger ... I ... am What's the basically it the chat that captures late ... and then convert it into electrons to produce your digital ... and aunts ... we see in the past year's events and dance compact cameras and sensors are getting bigger ... and ... better so you look it something like the chancy one acts were ... the Sony Ericsson hundred are very popular and dance compact cameras ... and they can and has a one point five cents or and the Sony Ericsson hundred has a lot of sense is that those are relatively large you compare them ... to other compact weekend she can last ... I want to keep in mind is that it's not just about this and they're they're up to the camera he really did pay attention to this well together is ... like a car that way ... Simon says you look at it retransmission Eros in the state will have the engine works you look at the lands and ... the process or another for the camera to ... megapixels my name that people ask a lot is Steve megapixels really matter you get engine marketing Chinese cameras ... and even smartphones you would think that the ... meeting that the sixty megapixel camera must be vetted in exile and twenty one excellent eyes the better than the sixteen megapixel ... and smartphone forty two megapixel camera it must be the most amazing star Cameron Routh ... and is not necessarily the case a few professional photographers I spoke to ... some pro photography plots ... and people will say that five megapixel count doesn't really matter especially if the other components of the camera Perhaps R has advanced so if you're working with the camera that's sixteen effective megapixels but the sensor isn't very day ... or a vehicle and is so great that ... it's really does matter ... that's got ... more delays or grainy ness on and ... then if you have to lower megapixel camera ... one theory is megapixels might matter is if you put in alot cropping your photos or if you're ... planning on printing out ... a poster size photo ... Fendi my one slowed to something higher than ten megapixel camera but otherwise ... try to be swayed by all these ... ever increasing numbers that are being thrown at you research and shopping ... here one can say when you're looking at these advanced compact cameras or so-called Super Z and cameras ... so one of the of the finance is that the compact digital camera ... has over smartphone is this word museum digital zoom ... which is powerful and I'm ... Accuray's is optical Samsung camera makers have been putting up centers in compact cameras ... cameras that had eighteen x our twenty one export thirty axiom ... I did call the its neighbors Doctor cameras because unless you're in the taking a lot of photos of your kiddo all the way across the soccer football field where you can see are so needy bird photographer or you wanna stop it the next order ... there really isn't much the house ... these stickers even ... when faith ... and perhaps the photographers will say the same that the ... cat will consumer unlike the uses the text the request of other things to consider a compact camera can get pretty confusing but if you're looking ... to get something on the smartphone cameras and appreciate whatever you can grow into ... I this is a really interesting category that's that's been growing ... I recommend that you can read the instruction and while Andy Pasztor Cameron easiest friends ... about their experience ... made us a couple new TV ad is on the matter ... Rawlings is hoping for a Boston radio this week and will see next week ...

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Logical holiday gifts for the Trekkie in your life.
What up holiday shoppers! It's time to boldly go where no other gift idea has gone before… the Star Trek section! We got the geeky goods that will put a smile on even the most hardened Klingon's face.
Star Trek The Art of Juan Ortiz – Artist Juan Ortiz creates a vintage styled movie poster for each episode of all three seasons of Star Trek The Original Series. Any OG ST fan would be proud to ad this beautiful over sized hardcover art book to their collection.
And the Children Shall Lead… Shirt – Diggin' on that Juan Ortiz style art. Well than this shirt featuring his poster for "And the Children Shall Lead…" will really rock your Starship. A perfect gift to go with the previously mentioned art book.
Mini Light Up Phaser – Set Phasers to FUN! Trekkies of all ages will light up when they find this mini Light Up Phaser stuffed in their stocking!
Star Trek Next Generation Wesley Build-a-Bridge Bobble Head – The first piece in a series of bobble heads that connect to build the bridge from Next Generation's Enterprise. Now eve you can tell your own little Wesley to "Shut Up Wesley!"
The Next Generation On Board the USS Enterprise – Engage… your giftee with this interactive art book! Includes a CD to enhance your reading experience into a 3-D tour of the NCC-1701-0.
Star Trek Vault 40 Years From the Archives – Covering all six television series and the first ten movies, this amazing hardcover is filled from cover to cover with tons of interesting information, fantastic photos, and over a dozen reproductions of cool memorabilia that you can actually hold in your hand. Including but not limited to on-set signage, blue prints, and trading cards.
Star Trek Select Kirk With Khan Action Figure Set – Who wouldn't want to be able to relive the epic Kirk\Khan battle from the Original Series episode "Space Seed!" Well Khan probably doesn't want to relive that, but Khan is probably not on your shopping list anyway.
Star Trek Klingon Dictionary – QISmaS botIvjaj 'ej DIS chu' botIvjaj, that's Merry Christmas in Klingon duh! No serious Trekkie can say their collection is complete without one of these bad boys on their shelf.
Hope that covers most of the crew of your personal Enterprise. Live long and Present!


text:
Am I Allowed To Root For The Opposing Manager?
I've been covering professional baseball in some way, shape, or form for nearly 25 years and there is no manager I've enjoyed working with more than PawSox skipper Ron Johnson.
But Scranton/Wilkes-Barre manager Dave Miley isn't far behind.
I got to know "Miles" when I was hosting the Cincinnati Reds TV pre-game show and he was the Reds manager from 2003 to 2005.
Miley was named the Reds interim manager on July 28, 2003 when Cincinnati cleaned house by firing General Manager Jim Bowden and Manager Bob Boone. It was an extremely popular move within the organization because Miley had spent the previous 23 years in Cincinnati's system as a player, coach, and minor league manager.
But before the 2004 season, the Reds hired a new GM in Dan O'Brien, and he and Miley didn't seem to mesh. Miley was fired in June of 2005 after compiling a 125-164 record with Cincinnati.
Before Friday's game at McCoy Stadium, I asked the 47-year-old manager if he would have done anything differently.
"This is probably the first time I will answer that," Miley told me. "I've been asked that question by John Fay (Cincinnati Enquirer) and Hal McCoy (Dayton Daily News) over the years. I think I would have done it more my way. It was a situation where I was a first and second-year manager with a new G.M. and different things. There's no finger pointing or anything like that. I just think that if I had done it my way, things may have been different – maybe not, who knows – but I think if that opportunity ever comes again that's what I will try to do."
I hope he gets the opportunity. Miley led Scranton/WB to the Governor's Cup title last year and has an all-time minor league managerial record of 1383-1043 (.570).
* * * * *
It looks like Charlie Zink has returned to 2008 form when he was named the International League's Pitcher of the Year. On Friday night, Zink took a shutout into the 9th inning against the league's highest scoring team, and eventually gave up one run in a 2-1 win over Scranton/WB.
That's Charlie's 2nd win in a row after a rocky month of April and it's no mystery why he's pitching better – he's throwing his knuckleball for strikes. Zink only walked 2 batters in Friday's game – he entered it averaging 7.4 walks per 9 innings this season.
* * * * *
This is strictly speculation on my part, but it looks like there's a chance that John Smoltz could be pitching for Pawtucket as soon as Sunday, May 31st.
Smoltz threw 3 scoreless innings on Thursday for Class-A Greenville and is scheduled to make his next appearance on Tuesday for Double-A Portland. If that goes well and he continues to climb the minor league ladder, that would put Smoltz with Pawtucket 5 days later in Indianapolis.
Even if he is not with the PawSox that quickly, it appears highly likely that Smoltz will make an appearance at McCoy Stadium during the next homestand (June 2 to June 9).
Smoltz told reporters after his successful outing with Greenville that he hopes to join the Red Sox in mid-June. It just so happens that Boston hosts the Atlanta Braves from June 19-21 before going to Atlanta the following weekend.
Think Smoltz wouldn't like showing his former employer that there are still a few bullets left in his right arm?
* * * * *
Did you happen to read that Notre Dame is considering playing a football game at the new Yankee Stadium?
Judging by the way baseballs are flying out of the place (75 HR in the first 20 games), if they put the goal post in front of the right field wall it could result in the first 80-yard field goal in football history.
* * * * *
The PawSox got to miss scheduled starter Chien-Ming Wang on Friday night. He was driving from New York to Rhode Island on Thursday when Joba Chamberlain was injured during the first inning of the Yankees game against Baltimore. Yanks officials called Wang on his cell phone and told him to turn around and drive back to New York. Instead of making a rehab start against the PawSox, he was in the Yankees bullpen as they opened a series against the Phillies.
* * * * *
Saturday should be a great day at McCoy Stadium. There's a free youth clinic from 2:00 to 3:15 featuring manager Ron Johnson and several Pawtucket players, followed by Game 3 of the PawSox/Yankees series at 6:05.
The pitching matchup features 31-year-old veteran Casey Fossum vs. the Red Sox top-rated minor league pitching prospect, 22-year-old Michael Bowden. Bowden leads the I.L. with a 0.86 ERA and the league is hitting a miniscule .136 against him.
I hope you'll join us for the radio call beginning with the pre-game show at 5:50 on the PawSox radio network and PawSox.com.
I'd love to hear from you. The address is firstname.lastname@example.com.


text:
If you're experiencing issues with your email account, Microsoft account, password, downloading or updating WhatsApp from the Microsoft Store, please contact Microsoft Support.
WhatsApp identifies you with your phone number, not your email account. WhatsApp doesn't require a password or an email account, however logging into the Microsoft Store does.
These are the two most common issues when updating WhatsApp from the Microsoft Store:
If you receive an error code when trying to download WhatsApp, it's from the Microsoft Store and not WhatsApp.
If you see "Attention Required" or "Waiting for Wi-Fi" when trying to download WhatsApp, please refer to the settings of the Microsoft Store App. Open Microsoft Store > tap the three horizontal bars in the upper left corner > Settings > App updates and adjust your settings here.
Microsoft controls the process for all Windows Phone apps, and we don't have access from our end to resolve any Microsoft Store related issues. You can get troubleshooting steps from the Microsoft Support website.
If you still can't download or update after trying a couple of times, please contact Windows Phone support.


text:
Latest Buzz
Scan News
Sports Top 5
Sports News
|Khandey reviews BADP implementation in J&K
|Friday, 31 July 2015 03:28
Jehlum Post News/Srinagar/July 29, 2015/The State Level Screening Committee on BADP (Border Area Development Programme) headed by Chief Secretary, Iqbal Khandey Wednesday reviewed the implementation of the Programme in the State. The Committee besides approving Annual Action Plan of 147.20 Crore for 2015-16 also reviewed the physical and financial progress under Annual Action Plan 2014-15 including submission of UCs of previous years. While Chief Secretary underscored the need to respect the timelines, he said any new project taken up under BADP should be completed within three years.
He said BADP is an important programme that addresses the needs of the people living in border areas and Deputy Commissioners must review its progress every two months.He said to develop infrastructure in border areas, DCs should also look into the issue of convergence of BADP funds with other Central/State Government schemes and complete the works in time. Chief Secretary received brief from DCs regarding the completed and ongoing works under BADP, which primarily focus on raising social infrastructure such as schools, computer rooms, library, separate toilets for girls students, health services, water supply, drainage, electricity, Anganwari, community and skill development centres etc in the border districts of the State including Baramulla, Kupwara, Bandipora, Budgam, Leh, Kargil, Poonch, Rajouri, Jammu, Samba and Kathua.Chief Secretary said that inspection, verification of schemes and 3rd party monitoring should continue under BADP and institutional mechanism in this regard needs special attention by the Deputy Commissioners. He said all DCs should ensure that JK Pulse introduced to monitor the BADP works in real time and remains functional round the year. Meanwhile, Chief Secretary also asked Planning Department to release funds for completing key works taken up in various border blocks under BADP that are in the final stage of completion, so that these are thrown open for the benefit of the general public within next few months. Earlier, Principal Secretary Planning and Development, Mr. B. R Sharma gave a presentation on the physical and financial progress achieved under BADP during the year 2014-15. He said that total expenditure of 75 Crore was registered in the State last fiscal with Kathua, Bandipora and Budgam being among the better performing border districts in terms of allocated fund utilization.
|Last Updated on Friday, 31 July 2015 03:54
Cartoon of The Week
Quote of the Week
To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.
|Last Updated on Friday, 12 June 2015 09:50
JP Social Widgets
News in Images
Tours & Travels Partner
Live Healthy!
Health >> Health News
Read more...
The controversy around Nestle's Maggi noodles has caused panic throughout the nation and it doesn't look like it will die down any time soon.
After the initial test results by Uttar Pradesh Department of Food and Drug Administration (FDA) showed harmful levels of monosodium glutamate (MSG) and lead in Maggi, various states across India and even Bangladesh conducted tests on Maggi to find out whether the food product is safe or not.
The controversy around Maggi has led to tests being conducted across the country.
The entire controversy began when the UP FDA last month asked Nestle India to withdraw a batch of Maggi noodles "which were manufactured in February 2014" after it found high levels of added MSG, a taste enhancer, in the noodles and lead beyond permissible limits.
Health >> Health News
Read more...
JPNN|Pakistani authorities have arrested hundreds of parents
Health >> Health News
JPNN|Washington|Snacking on almonds instead of carbs could reduce belly fat and lower the risk of heart disease, a new study has claimed.Read more...
Health >> Health News
JPNN|Scientists have found a "reset button" for our biological clock, paving the way for moreRead more...
Published From
J B. Plaza, Residency Road,
Srinagar Kashmir - 190001. (India) Phone: Office + 91 0194 2459303
Email:- firstname.lastname@example.com
Legal Advisor:- Shabnam Gani Lone
(Advocate) Supreme Court of India


text:
Rent a car in San Francisco, from $5/hour
Looking to rent a car in San Francisco? Getaround has a car for every occasion. From the everyday commuter, to a luxurious convertible or family-friendly SUV, we've got you covered. Conveniently located across San Francisco, our cars can be unlocked instantly from your phone for an easy renting experience. With no membership fees and insurance included, it's never been easier and more affordable to rent a car when you need one.
Rent a car in San Francisco, from $5/hour
Convenient hourly and daily rentals. No membership fees.


text:
What are the qualities you require a person to have before considering a relationship with them? (employment, education, a pulse, etc.)
What qualities will you NOT accept? (unemployment, illiteracy, room temperature liver, etc.)
(Both questions should be related to what you consider 'show stoppers'.)
Views: 365
What's your definition of "cold"?
Parts of the SF bay area never get below 45 degrees, year round.
I live in the northernmost major city in the continental US, and the average daily winter temperature here is 51 degrees. Plus, we get less rain than NY, DC, Boston, Miami or Philadelphia.
So it IS possible to get a long ways out of the south and still not freeze your butt off.
I'm originally from the Chicago area. If it's not below freezing, I'm unimpressed.
Holding up the San Francisco Bay area isn't a great example. San Francisco is insanely expensive.
That's an amazingly irrelevant statement... she was saying that she'd move north, but for the cold. No mention was made of prices, number of species of reptiles present, which constellations were visible, or any other criterion. I addressed what she said, and left it at that. Texas is pricier than West Virginia, but that has nothing to do with anything, either.
It's not irrelevant, no, just off on a very slight tangent. Most of the areas further north with better weather are on the west coast. The west coast has cost of living issues that would make it a problem for her. I gathered, from her comments, that she was talking about moving further north into the Midwest.
Also, if you were aware of a lot of the additional factors, as I am, it would be even less irrelevant.
Anyway, moving somewhere as insanely expensive as San Francisco isn't something that people do unless they have a very specific reason for moving there. I'm just saying, you could have come up with a better example.
© 2019 Atheist Nexus. All rights reserved. Admin: The Nexus Group. Powered by


text:
(1) There is established a working capital fund (in this subsection referred to as the "fund") for the United States Agency for International Development (in this subsection referred to as the "Agency") which shall be available without fiscal year limitation for the expenses of personal and nonpersonal services, equipment, and supplies for— (A) International Cooperative Administrative Support Services; and (B) rebates from the use of United States Government credit cards.
22 USC § 2395(m)(1)
Scoping language
None identified. Default scope is assumed to be the entire title.
Is this correct?


text:
Take a look at this Educational Manifesto, created by a group of educational reformers and leaders and published in The Washington Post.
As an educational reformer myself, I read this manifesto with great interest. There were parts I agreed with strongly. Such as this:
"It's time for all of the adults — superintendents, educators, elected officials, labor unions and parents alike — to start acting like we are responsible for the future of our children. Because right now, across the country, kids are stuck in failing schools, just waiting for us to do something. So, where do we start? With the basics. As President Obama has emphasized, the single most important factor determining whether students succeed in school is not the color of their skin or their ZIP code or even their parents' income — it is the quality of their teacher."
"The quality of their teacher." Indeed.
"To start acting like we are responsible for the future of our children." Indeed.
But interestingly, the paragraph that precedes these two reads as follows:
"But the transformative changes needed to truly prepare our kids for the 21st-century global economy simply will not happen unless we first shed some of the entrenched practices that have held back our education system, practices that have long favored adults, not children. These practices are wrong, and they have to end now."
Note how this paragraph names the true goal of schooling according to these educational leaders: to truly prepare our kids for the 21st-century global economy.
Notice that the goal isn't to truly prepare our children for their roles in solving global challenges, or creating a safe, humane, restorative world, or living successfully peaceful lives that contribute to a thriving planet; it's to prepare them for the global economy. In other words it's to make sure they can compete with China and Germany and Japan.
There is much in this manifesto that is true and important and worthy of our attention and energy, but until we address the goal of schooling with a purpose worthy of our children's minds and hearts and truly relevant to the 21st century challenges we face – which are hardly limited to economic challenges – we will remain off course and irresponsible regarding our children's future.
It's time to take seriously and embrace a worthy definition schooling: to graduate a generation of solutionaries.
Zoe Weil, President, Institute for Humane Education
Author of Most Good, Least Harm and The Power and Promise of Humane Education
Want to get a taste of IHE's humane education training programs & gain skills and support for inspiring your students to become leaders & change agents for a healthy, peaceful, sustainable world? Sign up for the next session of our 30-day online course, Teaching for a Positive Future (February 7-March 14, 2011). Special rates for groups of teachers.


text:
Tea Party senator digs in against talk of compromise
WASHINGTON — The political action committee founded by Sen. Jim DeMint, a darling of the Tea Party movement, was three-for-nine in picking conservative Senate candidates this year — after spending more than $8.7 million.
Of the nine Republican Senate candidates that received money from the Senate Conservatives Fund, only Ted Cruz of Texas, Jeff Flake of Arizona, and Deb Fischer of Nebraska won election on Tuesday.
Those three and the six losing candidates benefited from some of the $16.5 million raised by the fund and an affiliated super PAC over the 2011-2012 election cycle, said Matt Hoskins, the fund's executive director.
Despite the fund's less-than-stellar record, DeMint and Hoskins are urging supporters to resist calls for moderation.
"We will certainly face many battles in Congress in the coming months that will give us the opportunity to clearly articulate the failures of liberalism and the common sense of conservative alternatives," DeMint wrote on his Facebook page. "We must not shrink from the fight on Capitol Hill or in drawing these distinctions for the American people, regardless of the attempted distortions by the mainstream press."
DeMint is no longer affiliated with the fund, which he created to help elect fellow conservatives to the Senate. But his comments strongly suggest Tea Party Republicans have no intention of compromising on core issues just because Obama won a second term.
Hoskins went even further in a Friday statement that questioned House Speaker John Boehner's leadership, based on his recent comments about taxes, immigration and health care.
"Despite winning another Republican majority in the House, Boehner thinks President Obama has a mandate to enact policies that destroy jobs, ignore the rule of law, and take over our health care decisions," Hoskins wrote. "Obama is the first president in modern history to win re-election with fewer states than he won the first time, yet Boehner is waving the white flag on our core principles."
Boehner, in post-election remarks on Capitol Hill and in a national television interview, said House Republicans would be open to a deficit-reduction plan that includes new revenue through tax reform. He also said that comprehensive immigration reform was overdue and that the 2010 health care reform law — abhorred by conservatives — is the "law of the land."
The Tea Party wing of the Republican Party opposes tax increases and a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants already in the country, and favors repealing of "Obamacare."
"Abandoning these principles and capitulating to liberal policies is not a strategy for success," Hoskins said.
Boehner said House Republicans would support new revenue as part of a broader deficit-reduction plan, but only under certain conditions.
"Shoring up entitlements and reforming the tax code, closing special interest loopholes and deductions, and moving to a fairer, simpler system will bring jobs home and result in a stronger, healthier economy," Boehner said.
The six GOP Senate candidates backed by the Senate Conservatives Fund who lost on Tuesday are Josh Mandel of Ohio, Richard Mourdock of Indiana, George Allen of Virginia, Tom Smith of Pennsylvania, Dan Bongino of Maryland and Todd Akin of Missouri.
Hoskins defended the fund's record in this year's Senate races.
"It was a very bad year for Republicans across the board," he said Friday. "Only three non-incumbent Republican candidates for Senate won, and all three of them were endorsed and supported by the Senate Conservatives Fund."


text:
Breaking news!!! H&M's next designer collaboration will be with Isabel Marant!
Isabel Marant, one of our most fave designers at the moment, and H&M will collaborate for a stunning collection which will be in stores this Fall!! H&M could't make us happier! (OK Celine or Prada wouldn't be too bad either ;).
Every chick who knows her fashion adores the style of the French designer which is equal to rock chic, luxe boho and urban.
Althought we're not sure, we expect the Isabel Marant wedge sneaker will be part of the women's collection, as well as the biker jackets with the worn-in look.
Isabel Marant SS '13
Isabel Marant FW '13/'14
According to the statement from H&M there will be clothes and accessories for women, teenagers and: for men! It will be the first men's collection the designer will be creating.
Watch the video!
Isabel Marant said in this statement: 'I am flattered by this collaboration: H&M works with the best designers and this invitation is an exiting honor. I aim at creating something real, that women want to wear in their everyday lives, with a certain carelessness, which I think is very Parisian: you dress up, but do not pay too much attention and still look sexy. The collection is infused with this kind of easiness and attitude.
Everything can be mixed following one's own instincts: my take on fashion is all about personality'.
After Viktor & Rolf, Lanvin, Karl Lagerfeld en Maison Martin Margiela, will be the Isabel Marant for H&M collection in stores on November 14.
Isabel Marant and H&M's Margareta van den Bosch


text:
Alabama is a great tourist destination, if you are looking for an enjoyable getaway with entire your family or with someone special to you. It is a great place that offers marvelous attractions right from mountains at the north to several beaches to it Gulf Coast. The entire state offers a range of world class golf courses, pristine sandy beaches and exotic natural wildlife.The state of Alabama is also quite often referred as the Yellowhammer State due to the state bird. The meaning of the word Alabama is a Tribal Town in language of the Alabamian tribe. This is one of the oldest states of United States exhibiting a rich and varied historical background. Agriculture was a major occupation of the people up to nineteenth century. But it developed rapidly as a commercial center with mining, scientific centers and education as its major industries soon after World War II. In the year 1960, the African-American people got the right to vote after the Civil Right Movement creating a great political change.The state of Alabama is full packed with a range of attractions and marvelous sightseeing that certainly make your trip a memorable one. Visiting any of the Alabama beach is a great way of getting away from the hustle and bustle of the busy urban life. The beaches of Alabama have become the hottest tourist spots for many couples and families requiring much needed rest and break from their busy life.Gulf Coast beaches are the most sought after and must visit beaches of Alabama as it exhibits white sand with sparkling and crystal clear water. One can also visit Orange Beach that is also famous for family vacations.Gulf Shores is a great place to visit as it offers a range of shops, specialty stores with restaurants and hotels. Golf Shores offers you an opportunity to dive into deep-sea either for fishing or for swimming. The entire shore area is full of attractions and guarantees that you will never get bored during your visit to this marvelous place.Orange beach is situated just few miles drive away from Gulf Shores. This beautiful beach is situated ideally in Baldwin County on the Gulf Coast. One can enjoy several exciting activities that include catch and release of the tropical fishes that are available in abundance at this place. This place is great for snorkeling and anyone having interest in it would not afford to miss to enjoy the pleasure.The Museum of East Alabama is another must visit attraction of the state. This place is great to visit as it is home to some of the most exciting artifacts that represent the life of the people of East Alabama and the Southeast. Few of the most prominent attractions of the state are the Sports Hall of Fame in Alabama, the Arlington Antebellum Home and Gardens, the Center of Dixie Railroad Museum and many more to add to the list.Alabama also exhibits some very fascinating events and festivals that take place all round the year attracting a lot of tourists from all round the globe. Some of the festivals such as National Shrimp Festival, City Stages 20 and Alabama National Fair are worth watching.
Bad Graphic Design – A Must Read Guide For Serious Web Masters and Graphic Designers | design web
Bad graphic design is obviously something you want to avoid at all costs. Sometimes when you hire an individual or a graphic design or web design agency or artist to do a graphic design job for you, as a client you end up with an unprofessional website or design, leaving you without a proper website or design and without the money you initially invested in the web project. If you are a graphic designer or web designer, then make sure to give a 100% on every design project that comes across your desk. If you get a reputation for creating awesome work, you'll be able to charge a substantial amount more, which would then lead to the occasional referrals from the business's. If you create poor web design or poor graphic designs than you probably won't get any business or will have to retain your business at much lower rates than your competitors.What you can do to beef up you're graphic designs or web design business, in order to retain a larger clientele, is to start a small marketing campaign. Try experiment with new things, adjust what works and what doesn't You can also create ads and distribute them through various mediums like e-mail, door 2 door, flyers, banner ads, etc. When doing so make sure you are targeting the correct audience. It's important for every business to learn about demographics and analyze and research what you're client's are looking for and trying to fulfill your clients actual needs.The method to obtaining business and retaining it is real simple; it's a combination of many types of marketing strategies and having a great web presence and company Identity. Many companies have a professional web designer or graphic designer to design a corporate identity package for them because its permanent. You're identity cannot be changed later down the road, if a company changed their logo or identity than customers would not recognize or identify the old company identity with the new one, this can be extremely damaging for a business. Having a poor Identity design or web design from the start can ruin a business for life and anyone who has a business should avoid having a non professional design their identity or website at all cost.What set's a great graphic designer apart from a poor graphic designer is the motivation and the willingness to complete the work that's needed to be done. Ambition is the key to my success as a designer I enjoy what I do and am constantly investing in my skill by learning new graphic design and web design software, tips and tricks or whatever I need to know to make my designs better. It's important that potential clients, or anyone in the web design or graphic design business understand that while some individuals may have been trained and hold degrees as graphic and web designers, It does not certify them as a good designer. A professional web designer or graphic designer already knows the concepts of good design this cannot be taught in a classroom. So if you are looking to hire someone to design websites or graphic design make sure you review their online graphic design or web design portfolio before you go into a contract for web design or graphic design services or pay them to complete any design services.If you are looking to hire a graphic designer as a part of your full time staff, then a suggested practice is to give them a demo or dummy project to design as a test of skill. There is nothing worse than hiring an individual on the basis of their online portfolio but only later to find out they did not design what was In their portfolio. When hiring anyone its best to check their previous employment background and preferably you should require a letter of recommendation from either their University or their previous employer, this ensures you're recruiting efforts are a successful one.Why is bad graphic design all over the web? This is mainly because business do not want to invest the initial cost in creating a proper web presence or corporate identity. Many companies don't realize how important the two really are. Bad graphic design or bad web design gives you're customers a cheap impression. Would you buy from a physical store that was messy dirty or had an unprofessional look or feel? No you wouldn't, you probably keep your physical place of business in tip top shape. So why wouldn't you want to do the same for your web presence and Identity?You must understand as a business your identity and web presence is just as important as your physical presence if not more important. Studies show that more than 90% of the population do online research of a business before they buy. If you're business is non-existent or you're site is poorly designed, chances are that potential client or business will not even consider buying anything from you.Think about bad graphic design for a minute, than browse the web for at least an hour go ahead and randomly type different words in the search engine, visit as many sites as you can. Then go ahead and write down what the first thing comes into your mind when you see these sites copy the URLS as well. Then go back and review the information you collected.You will realize from the study that opinions are formed based on the visually appeal of site and not necessarily on products offered. So having bad graphic design or web designs associated with you're business identity is not a very profitable one at all. What is even more potentially damaging to a company is having no identity or online presence at all.Bad graphic design and bad web design can be prevented by investing in the right graphic designer or web design freelance contractor, or graphic design agency. Bad graphic design or bad web design can potentially harm or put you at risk of losing potential customers or clients. Avoid bad graphic design or web design at all costs. For more information and more articles containing valuable free Graphic design Resources please visit 99 Graphic Design Resources.Click here to get instant access to cutting edge graphic design resources: Bad Graphic DesignCharlotte Payan-salcedo has over 10 years of experience in web design, web development, and the Graphic design field. Please visit a popular blog created by the infamous Digital graphic artist Charlotte Payan-salcedo.
Basic Wardrobe Planning is Easier If You Know Your Fashion Style – 3 Benefits & 8 Fashion Archetypes | Fashion
Basic wardrobe planning may be more cohesive if you figure out your fashion style type. Some types of fashion, offered with the over-50 woman in mind, are:
arty or bohemian
simply elegant (or elegant simplicity)
trendy or trend-setter.
romantic or sexy.
I call these fashion styles fashion archetypes, because they embody deeper needs and behaviors of our personalities. Expressing one of the types of fashion is a way of becoming the star of our own lives.As we age, we may have to reassess our fashion style: The suburban mom takes a job and needs a professional wardrobe; the lawyer retires from her professional career and takes up her dream of landscape painting. The suits have to go.Here are three advantages of basic wardrobe planning around a type of fashion that suits your personality and lifestyle:
Efficiency shopping and pulling an outfit together, even on the fly. If you decide your fashion style is sporty, you're less likely to splurge on that emerald green, ruffled jabot blouse that you will only wear once a year. After all, it hardly goes with the khaki and charcoal cotton slacks that are the core of your comfortable daily uniform.
Spending limited wardrobe budgets on what will give us the most use. Basic wardrobe planning involves figuring out what types of fashion we most need. It makes sense to add a black skirt to our professional wardrobe when we understand we've got 18 tops and three jackets to team with it. Shopping for an item we might have spurned as too ordinary becomes a fashion triumph.
Feeling well-dressed and comfortable on every occasion. The best fashion advice for women is to decide what feels good and looks good on you. Your personal fashion style emerges from that. What looks and feels good changes over time. Periodic reassessment is essential.
Here's a summary of eight fashion archetypes.ARTY/BOHEMIANThe arty look is colorful, quirky, sometimes ethnic, and always fearless. Natural fabrics are preferred. A snowy white poet's shirt, an embroidered jacket that goes from work to art gallery reception, and a luxurious handbag are suggestions for the bohemian wardrobe.SOPHISTICATEDThe corporate executive wife and the charity fund-raiser are some typical lifestyle choices of women who express their inner creativity with sophisticated fashions. Wardrobe suggestions are a Chanel suit, a silk dress, gold cloche earrings and a diamond pendant necklace.SPORTYThis fashion style is tailored. A blazer jacket is a must. It can be worn with a variety of durable, washable cotton pants, such as khaki, a good choice for the active, outdoorsy woman. Sweaters and sweater sets work well. A silk T-shirt adds sophistication. Avoid fussy prints and ruffles.SUBURBANSuburban fashion goes from town to country with ease. She visits a corporate office in tailored slacks, a fuchsia shirt, an elegantly tailored long jacket, and pumps appropriate for lunch at a chic restaurant. Then she's off to a soccer game. The pumps are replaced by rubber-soled loafers, the jacket with a sweater. Pick garments for their versatility.PROFESSIONALThe professional fashion archetype loves suits – pantsuits for every day, skirt suits for court, a tuxedo suit for formal occasions, and a tailored dress when a skirt is a must. Choose suits and tops so you can mix-and-match for maximum versatility. Add an embroidered vest for pizzazz.SIMPLY ELEGANTIf you've asked yourself What Would Jackie [Kennedy Onassis] Do?(book by Shelley Branch and Sue Callaway) Or What Would Audrey [Hepburn] Do? (by Pamela Keough), this is your fashion archetype. Stock your closet with solid colors and garments with simple lines such as the A-line, princess, and cheongsam dresses. Shop at designer consignment shops to achieve this look on a budget.TRENDY/TREND-SETTERThe older woman who adopts the latest fashion trends may end up looking as if she is desperately clinging to her passing youth. For best effect, add fashion trends to classic costumes. For example, an outrageous jacket, with lots of bling and some feather accents, might be worn with simple black or white beneath. Experiment. Every fashion mistake can be changed tomorrow. ROMANTICFlirty grows up after 50 or risks appearing as if life has passed her by. Ruffles, but not frills; clinging fabrics that hug curves without being skintight; and decollete that knows when to quit are hallmarks of the romantic fashion archetype. Strive for glamor and sensuality using texture and a bit of bling.Take this fashion archetype quiz to learn more.In summary, knowing and expressing your fashion archetype starts with identifying the fashion styles that fit your lifestyle and personality. Buy clothes that look and feel just right. Basic wardrobe planning is a snap when we build our clothes collection with our personal type of fashion in mind.


text:
Fighting alcoholism may have just gotten a whole lot easier.
Scientists have developed a pill that is believed to reduce alcoholics' desire to drink, bringing new hope to those battling addiction.
According to the European Psychiatric Association, which led research on the drug, Nalmefene blocks mechanisms in the brain that give addicts pleasure when they drink, the UK Telegraph reported.
During a six-month trial, 604 patients in five European countries, decreased their alcohol consumption by more than half, from 84g to 30g per day—the equivalent of a bottle of wine reduced to one big glass—while taking the pill and undergoing counseling.
Developed by Lundbeck pharmaceutical company, nalmefene is currently in the clinical-trial stage and not yet licensed.
Nalmefene is the first pill with the goal of reducing the amount of alcohol consumed without making the patient ill if they do drink. It shies away from the abstinence that Alcoholics Anonymous and other treatment programs believe is necessary.
Dr. David Collier, of Barts and The London School of Medicine, Queen Mary University of London and an investigator who worked in a nalmefene study, told the Telegraph that most of the people volunteering in these trials had serious problems with alcohol dependency.
"From our experience in these trials, reducing alcohol consumption to safer levels can be a realistic and practical treatment goal for people who are dependent on alcohol, that can bring many short- and longer-term benefits to health," Collier told the Telegraph.
"These trial results suggest that the combination of medication and counseling could offer a new option for people in the UK not currently treated for their alcohol dependence," Collier also told the Telegraph.
The side effects of nalmefene include dizziness, nausea, fatigue, sleep disorder, vomiting, and cold-like symptoms.
In the U.S., 17.6 million people – about one in every 12 adults – abuse alcohol or are alcohol dependent, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism.


text:
[singlepic id=147 w=200 h=220 float=right]
If the law says that torture is illegal and the president wants people to be tortured anyway, then how should a president proceed? One idea is to get government lawyers to say: "Illegal schmillegal, we say it's just fine." – that is the cue-card version of what in the Bush Justice Department. That's what senior Bush administration lawyers told their boss.
– – The Rachel Maddow Show, February 16, 2009
Fans of Rachel Maddow must have been googling for this since Monday, and now their prayers have been answered: I am pretty certain that the moment you heard Rachel utter the words 'illegal-schmillegal' on her MSNBC show, you thought to yourself: Hey! This would be great as my new email notification sound…
Well, consider this an early gift for the Jewish holiday of Purim from me to you:
You can download Rachel Maddow saying 'illegal-schmillegal' in WAV format or in MP3 format. Right-click and 'save target as' to your computer.
ANSI art created using HTML Image Page Builder


text:
Car hire in Lima
What our customers say about us
"Simple booking process, good communication and good choice of reasonably priced cars. I would be happy to book with Vehicle Rent again."
Mike, 35, Manchester
"Great site - easy to use and great communication."
Alexander, 56, Liverpool
"We had an easy and seamless car renting experience. The company was professional, no hidden extras or surprises when we picked up the car. The instructions are clear, the car was perfect and so was the return process."
Chantelle, 36, London
"Very competitive price, very smooth experience from collecting vehicle to returning vehicle."
Emma, 41, London
"Efficient, friendly service. Better than expected. Great value for money."
Harry, 49, London


text:
Furry stereotype
|This article needs copyediting (for correct spelling, grammar, usage, etc.)
For specifics, check the edit history and talk page. Consult the Furry Book of Style for editing help.
|This article does not cite its references or sources. You can help WikiFur by adding references.
For specifics, check the edit history and talk page. Consult the Furry Book of Style for editing help.
As with many current cultures and subcultures, the furry fandom has been subject to intense stereotyping.
Stereotypes can arise from virtually any facet of a group or demographic, depend partly on trends within the demographic, and are usually formed from the experiences and biases of the viewer or their friends. Some furry stereotypes have more than a grain of truth to them; however, many others fail to hold up under closer scrutiny of furry fans and culture.
- 1 Mainstream generalization
- 2 General
- 3 Commerce
- 4 Site or locales
- 5 Reasons for stereotyping
- 6 Lashing back
- 7 Stereotypes within the fandom, by the fandom
- 8 See also
Mainstream generalization[edit]
Furry fandom's member demographics have traditionally intercrossed with other existing cultures and fandom, such as science fiction, fantasy, anime, computing, and video gaming. As such, furry fan or furry artist are also often viewed (stereotyped) as fanboys, nerds and/or geeks at best, or a hairy, overweight (usually male), unwashed individual, living in his parents' basement while surfing for pornography on the Internet.
The particulars of the furry fandom 's culture may present what some furry outsiders would frequently consider strange, unusual, or bizarre takes on the wider fantasy and funny animal genre. This has led to the stereotypes being thought up as sometimes more extreme than the typical fandom. For example, one list of some extra stereotypical points that have often been attached to furry fandom would paint most furries as:
Furry Fandom[edit]
- Is not an established culture like Anime or Science Fiction.
- Is not, nor ever will be, a Mainstream culture.
- Is at best a subculture.
- It is a fetish in general and/or a pathway to anthropomorphic paraphilias.
Appearance or orientation[edit]
- Overweight.
- Dangerously underweight.
- Extremely old .
- Jailbait.
- Unhygienic.
- Usually homely or ugly.
- Gay, bisexual, and/or transgender only (no heterosexual furs in the fandom.)
Medical disorders[edit]
- Mental disorders:
- Often autistic, specifically suffering with Asperger syndrome.
- Sexual and gender identity disorders (any/all LBGT furs.)
- Substance abuse (excessive intake of drugs/alcohol even by fandom standards).
- Personality disorder (any/all therians or otherkins.)
- Down Syndrome ("retardation".)
- AIDS (some furries or all LBGT furs.)
Social interaction[edit]
- Fanboy/nerd/geek behavior.
- Misanthropic.
- Little or no social skills.
- Egomaniacs.
Social contribution[edit]
- Uneducated, still holding a low prestige job as they get older.
- Educated, still holding a low prestige job as they get older.
- Unemployed/unemployable.
- Majority on disability or other types of welfare assistance (US).
- There is no furry on furry normal relationships (e.g. just for love).
- There are no straight relationships in the fandom.
- There are no married couples in the fandom.
- Married furry couples are all childless due to problems/genetics.
- Married furry couple's kids are all brats.
Female gender[edit]
- No females in the fandom.
- No attractive females in fandom
- No female artists in the fandom.
- All female furries are either fat and ugly.
- All females are lesbians or transgender/non-binary.
- All females are really men pretending to be females (online).
- All females in fandom are mentally ill
- All fursuiters are males, no females.
- All fursuits are equipped with SPHs or SPAs.
- All fursuits are covered with encrusted human body fluids.
- Fursuiters use the ample space in their suit to grope little kids at lower heights.
- Fursuiters use their fursuit to lure children to molest them.
- Unable to produce media to at the same skill level as non-furry artists.
- All drawn artwork (traditional/digital) is traced.
- All art media is of a pornographic nature only.
- Cub non-sexual media as a gateway media to child porn.
- No professional (non-furry) artists in the fandom.
- If so, they will be blacklisted soon...
- ...And/or will start to create pornographic material for money/attention/popularity.
- If so, they will be blacklisted soon...
- Furry artists will take as many commissions as possible:
- And always take forever to finish.
- Will give any excuse for the holdup, including self-hospitalization and/or family death.
- they will then leave the fandom without delivering...
- ...And then come back as a new artist under a new pseudonym, repeating the process.
- All furry commissioners demand that artists create free art for them.
- Or ask for incredible complex media for a ridiculous commission fee.
- Impose impossible deadlines.
- Ask for additional non-agreed upon content.
- Demand more than the agreed-upon amount of redos.
- Furry commissioners will receive the art, then have the payment rescinded via the e-payment service (e.g. Paypal), under different pretenses (fraud, job not delivered, job no as advertised).
- Furry commissioners will take as many commissions as possible:
- Then leave the fandom after receiving the art, without paying...
- ...And then come back as a new furry fan under a new pseudonym, repeating the process.
- Then leave the fandom after receiving the art, without paying...
- Furry commissioners will often ask for donations for such ailments as self-hospitalization and/or family death, then use the donations to buy extra furry art.
Site or locales[edit]
Furry conventions[edit]
- There has never been a well planned/fun one.
- They just cater to Babyfurs, Zoophiles, Lifestylers, Plushophiles, and Pedophiles only.
- Participants just go for the gay sex (often with underage fans).
- Participants just go for the illicit substances (alcohol for minors).
- They spooge all over the place, especially elevators.
- The con staff are all retarded, power-hungry, clueless, other.
- The con security are all policeman/military wannabes.
Furry convention events[edit]
- Slave auctions (Confurence era).
- Fans/artists were put up for bidding for sex only (normally gay).
Reasons for stereotyping[edit]
These common portrayals of the fandom are based on several factors, such as the apparent[citation needed] larger than average percentage of individuals in it who are gay, bi, lesbian, or transsexual[citation needed] — a point which itself is debated within the fandom. Of course, the image of a social furry fan who has mostly mainstream, unremarkable interests and hobbies is not as titillating to sensationalism seekers in the general public, or groups such as 4Chan.
Even when people who are furries happen to pursue erotic art, engage in activities like sexual plushophilia, or are lifestylers, many are really much more responsible for themselves and the impression they give of the fandom than those who dig for examples to support stereotypes might admit.
No matter how many fans there are who would fit the image of an unremarkable and less controversial Furry fan, there remain those who take part in less common activities, exhibit outrageous or unwise behavior, or provide a relatively rare fit with the most extreme stereotypes. These have, more often than not, been singled out and held up as symbolic of furry fandom.
Lashing back[edit]
Fans[who?] who are frustrated by stereotyping often believe that this is all it takes to prove the stereotype to "outsiders".[citation needed] Other furries[who?] have asserted that this fear is responsible for "witch hunts" within the Furry community,[clarify][citation needed] including attempts to repress or drive away people perceived as undesirable before they become noticed.[citation needed]
Another view put forth by other Furry fans and some persons outside the fandom is that the enterprise of collecting, advertising, or reinforcing stereotypes is often carried out by individuals who would also fit a number of parallel stereotypes about genre fans, Internet users, and geek culturists. This view has led some to dismiss the entire topic, especially when it relates to online activities, as geeks battling geeks in a war to one-up each other with negative propaganda.
Stereotypes within the fandom, by the fandom[edit]
|The factual accuracy of this section is disputed. (discuss)
|This section does not cite its references or sources. (edit)
There are also stereotypes within the furry fandom itself. Some of these are external stereotypes, circulated by furry fans who wish to distance themselves from the unpopular image of furries or hold them up for criticism (see Skunk, Horrifying Look at the Furries, and the Burned Furs).
Species stereotypes[edit]
|The factual accuracy of this section is disputed. (discuss)
Other stereotypes are specific to the internal culture of the fandom. Since the Furry genre places emphasis on animal characteristics, certain popular stereotypes are based on the favored species association of a given individual, especially among fans who have a personal furry or role-play frequently. The stereotypical attributes that a certain creature bestows on a person may or may not be based on the accurate behavior of the real animal; metaphorical and mythological traits are fair game.
In the instance of creatures which are mythological to begin with, their attributed behavior might be inspired more by fandom conventions than traditional mythologies and stories.
It should be noted that many fans circulate and use species stereotypes as humorous cliches which are not intended to cause offense. It is common for Furry fans to examine themselves to see where they fit within the list of supposed behaviors.
Some examples of species-related stereotypes include, but are not limited to:
- Dragons are pretentious, attempt to appear wise and cultured, and often follow a strange form of mysticism. More recently, they've been perceived as being "derpy". If female, they are fangirls of Anne McCaffrey's Pern.
- Unicorns are aristocratic and prideful about their appearance.
- Equines are "size queens", into bondage and pony play.
- Male foxes are frequently gay or bi, overly sexualized and submissive, and are an overexposed choice of character.
- Female foxes and vixens are usually male players, even more overly sexualized, and not bright.
- Red Pandas Desperately try to seek attention, and choose a red panda as an "original" alternative to foxes, just to get attention.
- Gryphons are obsessed fans of Mercedes Lackey fiction and can be capricious.
- Rabbits are neurotic and paranoid, or are sexually promiscuous, and often enjoy being edible.
- Wolves behave like alpha males, arrogant and expecting to be treated as leaders. Alternately, they are sometimes purported to act like big foxes.
- Huskies are the new foxes, but more submissive.[citation needed]
- Raccoons are seen as antisocial and bi-sexual. Some see raccoons as sneaky thieves who steal at every chance they get.
- Cats are seen as clean and sometimes prissy, bordering on the noble class.
- Squirrels are jittery and hyperactive.
- Hyenas are seen as insane, loud, aggressive, overtly sexual.
- Kangaroos are always foot fetishists who have pouches on both genders.
- Rats are sneaky and dirty, and carriers of diseases.
See also[edit]


text:
Food & Drink
Choose your own romantic adventure
By Jessica DuLong, Special to CNN • Updated 9th February 2012
View Gallery
11 Pictures
On that first date, when you bonded over barbecue, the sauce drips on her chin only made her look cuter. You knew it was love when you learned John Donne was his favorite poet, too. What hooked you on the slopes was how she made black diamond runs look easy.
These are the romantic moments you'll always remember. Isn't it time to make more?
One of the best ways to remember why you and your mate chose each other in the first place is by enjoying an adventure around your shared interests. Meet on common ground, then head out to discover new terrain.
From wine tasting to cozy ski weekends, we've got ideas for you.
Skiers' paradise
Bretton Woods, New Hampshire
With both gentle-pitch, beginners' trails and expert-level, tree-speckled ridges,
Bretton Woods
offers skiing to suit all tastes. A family-friendly spot, Bretton Woods provides a good option for parents looking to squeeze a little romance into a vacation for everyone.
Tiffany glass, Italian plasterwork and a wraparound verandah make the
Omni Mount Washington Resort
an elegant après-ski option. Kids' club activities and babysitting let parents claim a little grown-up time for a Friday or Saturday night ski, a dip in the pool or Jacuzzi or a duet massage. An Ooh Là Là Romance Package add-on includes a special turndown service with robes, music and lighting; sparkling wine; and French macaroons. Other romantic adventures such as a sleigh ride or dog sledding can also be arranged.
Jackson Hole, Wyoming
Once considered an expert-only
ski area
, the Teton Mountains now offer beginner-friendly trails as well as other winter activities such as snowmobiling and sleigh rides through local elk herds.
If a mammoth resort isn't your scene, consider the more intimate, family-run
Rusty Parrot Lodge and Spa
. The staff's goal is "understated luxury," and with in-room fireplaces, a cozy library with oversize leather chairs, an outdoor Jacuzzi with fire pits, a well-tended bar, an on-site restaurant and an in-house spa, the lodge can meet all your romantic requirements. Should you want a change of scenery, Jackson Hole's shops, restaurants and bars are mere steps away.
Literature lovers
Concord, Massachusetts
For a rich literary getaway, head to Concord, Massachusetts, where the country's earliest prose writers, poets and patriots made their mark. Between fields where Minutemen once defended the nation stand the former homes of some of America's most famous writers, including Nathaniel Hawthorne, Louisa May Alcott, Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau, all open to the public and most within walking distance.
Visit the graves of these esteemed writers at Sleepy Hollow Cemetery before stopping at the
Concord Museum
to view Emerson's study and Thoreau's flute as well as Revolutionary War artifacts, including Paul Revere's lantern. After a long day on your feet, retire to the
Hawthorne Inn's
Emerson Room to enjoy the relaxed elegance of a four-poster bed, in-room fireplace and bubble-jet tub.
Brooklyn, New York
Literary legends have called Brooklyn home since Walt Whitman sang his borough's praises. The former homes of nearly a dozen famous writers are all within walking distance in Brooklyn Heights. While the residences aren't open to the public,
a self-guided tour
can take you to places where works such as Arthur Miller's "Death of a Salesman," W.H. Auden's poem "New Year Letter" and Thomas Wolfe's "Of Time and the River" were penned. Other writers' homes include those of Henry Miller, Norman Mailer, H.P. Lovecraft and Truman Capote.
After all that walking and ogling, head to the
River Café
for first-class waterfront dining. Bring a copy of Whitman's "
Crossing Brooklyn Ferry
" to read aloud while admiring the Brooklyn Bridge and imagining the borough as it was in his day.
Oenophile bliss
Sonoma County wine country, California
What better way to reconnect than while driving through
Sonoma wine country
, stopping to taste the terroir at wineries along the way? Visit
for the views and the pinot,
for the Japanese gardens and
Lambert Bridge
for intimate barrel-room tastings. Then settle in at the
Farmhouse Inn
in the heart of the Russian River Valley.
The inn's "barn rooms," situated in a grove of mature trees, are designed to blur the boundaries between outside and in. The "heritage rooms," meanwhile, range from huge luxury suites to compact queen-size spaces the innkeepers call "our little jewel box rooms." Be sure to check out the Sonoma Bath Bar with complementary seasonal scrubs, salts and soaps, and consider adding on the inn's special romance package, which includes chilled champagne, candles, cut flowers and an intimate couple's massage.
Chesapeake Bay Wine Trail, Virginia
Virginia is for lovers -- wine lovers included. Discover small colonial towns, walk along the shoreline and drop by George Washington's birthplace in Westmoreland County between tastings at 13 wineries along the
Chesapeake Bay Wine Trail
. Local wineries feature Cabernet Franc, chardonnay, Vidal Blanc and Chambourcin wines, and among the most romantic are
Dog and Oyster
Good Luck Cellars
Stay at the
Tides Inn
in Irvington, where lush gardens, waterfront views, a full-service spa, a golf course and a marina with a sailing school offer plenty of post-tasting relaxation. For even more amorousness, choose a Suite Romance Getaway package, featuring an intimate three-course dinner, a 60-minute couple's spa treatment and a Carter's Creek Cove cruise for two.
History buffs
Oak Alley Plantation, Vacherie, Louisiana
Step into antebellum elegance where, in 1837, aristocrat Jacques Roman wooed French Quarter debutante Celina Pilé by building a
Greek-revival mansion
to entice her to leave her New Orleans life behind. Stroll along the levee to watch the Mississippi roll by on the way to your private, century-old cottage, where you can prearrange to have champagne, chocolate-covered strawberries or souvenir waffle robes waiting.
After a full country breakfast, visit the blacksmith's shop, sugar cane-harvesting equipment and antique car collection. Explore the big house with a guide in period costume, stop by the reconstructed slave quarters to learn about the workers whose labors made plantation luxuries possible, then amble along the quarter-mile canopy of giant oaks, appreciating what it means to be free.
Biltmore, Asheville, North Carolina
Imagine you are personal guests of the Vanderbilts, one of America's oldest and most well-known families, at
, an 8,000-acre estate built by George Vanderbilt at the turn of the 20th century.
Savor a meal at the Stable Café in the former horse stalls now transformed into booths or take a carriage ride through grounds and gardens designed by renowned landscape architect Frederick Law Olmsted. In Antler Hill Village, view the vintage farm equipment exhibits and displays of traditional trades such as blacksmithing and woodworking.
Then take a butler's tour of the 250-room National Historic Landmark building for a behind-the-scenes look at the house's inner workings, including the servants' quarters and the then-state-of-the-art technologies the Vanderbilts employed for lighting, heating and cooling.
Foodie feasts
New Orleans
From the ornate balconies of the French Quarter, to the manicured landscapes of the Garden District, to the horse-drawn carriages in Jackson Square, New Orleans offers an array of stunning backdrops for rekindling romance. And for foodie couples, woo-inspiring dining choices abound.
tops the list. Travel + Leisure magazine dubbed the dining room, with its tin ceilings and cast-iron columns, "the sexiest" in New Orleans, but the real aphrodisiac is the food, prepared by Chef John Harris, a James Beard finalist for best chef in the South.
For authentic Cajun Southern cooking, visit
, where chefs prepare locally sourced pork, fresh produce and seafood. Try the fried cauliflower with chili citrus sauce and the catfish court bouillon.
If the sparkling lobby, with its golden columns and crystal chandeliers, of the
Roosevelt Hotel
doesn't grab you, surely the 24-hour, four-star room service will. Since opening in 1893, it's considered New Orleans' most romantic hotel.
Portland, Oregon
Up-and-coming foodie hot spot, Portland has plenty of palate-pleasing (and challenging) restaurants to choose from.
is a top pick for its dramatic high ceilings and Mediterranean-inspired meals. And
is known for quirky contemporary dishes featuring adventurous combinations that "reinterpret local cuisine." Start off your meal with the wild steelhead smoked over chestnut with sweet lime and herb sponge and finish with the Meyer lemon curd with green juniper meringue and Hefeweizen.
For a more traditional French meal (think: foie gras, escargot languedocienne, bisque de mer), head to
, a bistro with cozy banquette seating that's perfect for getting close. And once your bellies are full, relax at the
Heathman Hotel
. During your stay, be sure to visit the Tea Court Lounge, where afternoon tea flows smoothly into evening cocktails and live jazz.
A year of the world's
Best Beaches
There's a perfect beach for every week of the year. Join us on a 12-month journey to see them all
Go to the best beaches
Food & Drink
Go to top of page
© 2019 Cable News Network.
Turner Broadcasting System, Inc.
All Rights Reserved. CNN Sans ™ & © 2016 Cable News Network.
Terms of Use
Privacy Policy
About us
Work for us
License Footage
CNN Newsource
CNN Coupons


text:
I saw red when I read a letter to an advice column from a childless woman who suspects her friend is lying about being busy all day. "I'm feeling like the kid is an excuse to relax and enjoy," she says, so "why won't my friend tell me the truth?" She wonders what are stay-at-home-moms doing all day that they can't call or email?
I know I'm preaching to the choir here, and the advice columnist seems to physically restrain herself from reaching out to wring the letter-writer's neck. Still, I thought I might detail a typical day alone with the kids. That way, when your friend whines at you for not answering her email about her roommate eating her potato chips (yes, that's real), you won't have to find the time and childcare to write her a reasoned response. You can just forward this to her.
Dear Person Who Wonders What SAHMs Do All Day:
I love my kids, and I am so happy. Also, I am very busy. Here's what I do.
5 a.m.: Baby wakes up in crib and wants to nurse. I nurse her and she goes back to sleep, but doesn't want to be put down. I bring her into my bed, where my sweaty toddler is already sleeping because she woke two hours earlier. Lying between them, I get only fitful sleep, because when I'm not getting a 2-year-old's foot to my head, I am worried about rolling over on the 10-month-old, or poking my husband to make him roll over so he'll stop snoring.
Both kids wake up for real at 6:30. This is actually nice and late for them. I change two diapers and try to get them both dressed, but the toddler wants to be naked for a while and rather than risk a tantrum I let her run off. I get the baby changed and dressed as she performs the can-can, jamming my body against the changing table as I wrestle the top of the Baby Genie open because it's stuck again. Which means I have to change the bag. The fresh bags are in the kitchen. I take the full bag out and drag it to the front door.
I try to get food into both girls while making coffee. This involves pouring cheerios and blueberries onto the high-chair tray, making toast with cream cheese, and scrambling eggs. While I try to get the grounds out of the coffee maker, the baby climbs over to the oven and hangs off its handle. I use my foot to hold it closed. The toddler yells, "NO!" and knocks her down. The baby wails. I pick her up. This means I can't finish the coffee grounds. I put her in the high chair. The toddler pees. I help her clean up the pee. We go back into the bedroom, because now she wants to put a diaper on and I'm not about to let that opportunity pass me by.
The baby begins wailing because she's lonesome; I'm still trying to either convince or wrestle with the toddler, who has decided she does not like the pants she picked out. Finally we return to the kitchen, and I realize that the baby is wailing because she's pooped in her nice clean diaper (the girl likes a clean canvas). I plop the toast onto the booster-seat tray, strap in the toddler, and proceed back to the bedroom to change the baby. The poop is a blowout; we need a total outfit change. I realize I haven't replaced the bag in the pail. I fold the diaper into itself and bring it to the kitchen garbage. The toddler has flung her toast because she is done.
I still have not been able to make the coffee.
I turn on the TV and make the coffee and gulp it as the girls are momentarily quiet. I straighten up the kitchen, put away the clean dishes, put up a load of wash. Then I sit down with them and watch the end of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. When it's over, the toddler asks for another one and I say no, so she shrieks at the top of her lungs for a half an hour. I bring the baby into the bathroom with me and hop in the shower, poking my head out to play peek-a-boo the whole time. Afterwards, both girls "help" me get dressed by placing items of clothes against parts of my body. This is very cute, but does not get me dressed.
The door buzzes: it's the UPS guy with the diapers from Amazon. I run down the hall wearing one sock and a bra and pray he really is who he says he is, because I am not about to open the door to check.
I resume trying to get dressed as the toddler begins jumping on the bed. She falls off and bonks her head, and leading to about 45 minutes of soothing and crying. The baby, meanwhile, appears holding a blue crayon and displaying a matching blue tongue and teeth. I attempt to fish pieces of blue out of her mouth while the toddler continues to shriek in my ear at top volume. I put the clothes in the dryer.
It is time for ballet class.
We pile into the car and I drive to my friend's house, where I put her car-seat into my back seat, then drive all the girls to the studio. I put the baby in a sling and hold both girls' hands. One toddler likes to run fast, the other ambles slowly. One toddler has to pee before class, the other is still in diapers. Helping the toddler pee involves holding her over the toilet with both hands; the baby is still in the sling; the other toddler is literally running in circles yelling, "bal-LET! Bal-LET!" We go upstairs; the ballet teacher asks me to put the girls' hair up and I punch her in the face. Sike! I laugh and say I did my best, and she says it's all right. The big girls go into the studio. The baby crawls directly to the top of the metal stairs. I pick her up and return her to the play area (train table, plastic kitchen, LOTS OF FUN STUFF). I sit down to read my phone. She crawls back to the stairs. I then spend 45 minutes dragging her back to the play area repeatedly, though I do manage to answer some emails.
A woman gives me the stink-eye for checking my phone when I'm with the baby. "Shouldn't you be paying attention to your child?" she asks. I run through several snappy responses. By the time I have come up with the perfect one, she has moved on.
The ballet class is over all too soon. I drive through McDonald's, hoping nobody sees me, because I am addicted to their smoothies and also starving. We head back to my friend's house where I unload the big girls, then the car seat, then the baby. The girls run off to play and the baby stares at the other baby dubiously. I "help" my friend make lunch, mostly just eating everything she tries to put on the toddlers' plates. We feed the toddlers, then the babies. Then we clean up the floor under the high chairs. The toddlers fight over who gets to go in the bouncy swing, then fall apart emotionally. It is nap time.
We head home. My toddler has dropped her nap, so instead, she throws a tantrum because she is disappointed at having to leave her friend's house. I pull over, open the windows, and sit five feet away on the curb, waiting for her to calm down. If I had a cigarette, I would smoke it. I dream fondly of cigarettes. I come back to the car and ask, "Are you done?" She blinks and says, "Yeah. I done. I sowwy I scweaming and scweaming." The baby is asleep!
At home, I let the toddler watch two shows while I whisk the baby into bed without waking her. This is when I get a little bit of emailing done, though I do not have the energy to call anyone. I pay several bills and finally, finally make out a form to change something with the kids' medical coverage. I realize the bank has charged me fees for something and I spend 45 minutes arguing with them on the phone. I start marinating meat for dinner and realize we are out of rice and pasta.
The baby wakes. I nurse her. Then we're off to the grocery store. After returning eight bottles of ponzu sauce to the shelves, I wise up and give the toddler a pack of brightly-colored hair clips and she spends the rest of the trip placing them carefully all over her head.
A woman gives me the stink-eye because I have the toddler in the basket of the shopping cart while the baby rides in the baby seat. "That's unsafe," she tells me. "Well, I forgot my leash," I respond wearily, tucking a pack of toilet paper next to the toddler and taking a plastic bag out of the baby's mouth.
When we are paying, the toddler asks to "boop this," and the checkout woman is remarkably patient about letting her push various buttons, then gives us some stickers. "Where are the rest of these hair clips?" she asks, as she rings them up. "Oh, you're wearing them all!" My toddler is proud.
I put the baby into the car first, and notice people looking with alarm at my toddler, alone in the cart. I hurry back and put her in the car before they call CPS on me. I load the groceries into the car. I roll the cart back to the corral, car-doors open, again worrying that someone will yell at me for leaving the girls alone.
I get a text from another friend -- can the toddler have a post-nap playdate? Sure! I drive to his house, which is stunningly beautiful and remarkably un-childproofed. I spend the next hour assisting the baby in walking up and down, up and down, up and down their wooden staircase as the older kids whip each other into a frenzied crescendo. I worry about the groceries in the car and when it's time to leave, I have to carry the toddler out because she's again upset about leaving her friend. More screaming ensues.
We arrive home. I unload the groceries. I set the baby at the foot of the stairs and watch her start up. I get the toddler, who agrees (for once) that she does not need uppies up the stairs. I unload the groceries. My husband texts: he is home and can carry them up. Thank effing god. I arrive at my door and am greeted by the dirty diaper bag. I do not even care.
Do you have friends who think you eat bon-bons and relax all day? Do you even bother trying to make them understand?
Image via P Pogo/Flickr


text:
28 January 2013, Uppsala, Sweden: Gyros AB, a leader in utilization of microfluidic technologies to miniaturize and automate immunoassays, announced Dr. Claus Braestrup has joined its Board of Directors.
Dr. Braestrup is a member of the Board of Directors of Bavarian Nordic A/S, Chairman of the Board of Probiodrug AG and a member of the Boards of Santaris Pharma A/S and Evolva Holding SA. He is also a Member of the Advisory Board of Nordic Biotech and BankInvest BioMedical Venture. Dr. Braestrup is a Member of The Royal Danish Scientific Society and The Academy of Technical Sciences. He holds M.Sc. degrees in Chemical Engineering and Biochemistry, and a Doctorate in Medical Science from the University of Copenhagen.
Dr. Braestrup was previously President and Chief Executive Officer at H. Lundbeck A/S. He also formerly held the positions of Vice President of Pharmaceutical Research, President of the CNS Division, and President of the Diabetes Care Division at Novo Nordisk A/S, and Head of Preclinical Drug Research with Schering AG.
Erik Walldén, CEO at Gyros, commented: "We welcome Claus to the Board of Directors. His excellent scientific background and many years' experience within the biotech and pharmaceutical industry will be a great asset to Gyros."
Katie Odgaard
Zyme Communications Ltd
Tel: +44 (0) 7787 502 947
Email: [email protected]
Twitter: zymecomms
About Gyros AB www.gyros.com
Gyros AB is the world leader in utilization of microfluidic technologies to miniaturize and automate immunoassays. The Gyros™ immunoassay platform increases productivity and efficiency during development of biotherapeutics and vaccines, saving time and labor. Major biopharmaceutical companies and their service providers utilize the Gyros platform to boost time-critical workflows and meet increasing regulatory demands.
Spanning the entire spectrum of immunoassays, the platform cuts the time to result significantly. Faster development times, and unattended running of assays at nanoliter scale, save labor and sample. The ease of assay transfer between sites and from development to regulated environments is unsurpassed in the industry.
The company is, based in Uppsala, Sweden and has regional sales and support offices in the USA and Europe, and a growing network of distributors in Asia Pacific.