text:
Chinese Kung Fu
Chinese Kung Fu, Kung Fu Clothing, Kung Fu Uniform, Kung Fu Uniforms, Kung Fu Shirt, Kung Fu Suit, Shaolin Kung Fu, Tai Chi Kung Fu, Qigong Wushu, Wing Tsun Kung Fu, Taiji Uniform
ABOUT KUNG FU WUSHU and
Chinese Kung Fu
His successor - Men's Kung
Fu Clothing (also known as Chang Kaishi) also didn't avoid martial arts, he
visited Guokao ("State test" - something like all-China wushu championship),
which were organized in Nanjing (in that time - capital of China) Central guoshu
institute ("guoshu" means "national art", during Gomindang ruling it was an
official name for wushu), founded in 1928. General Zhang Zhijiang was a rector
of this Institute, he was supported by general Feng Yuxiang. Another big
organization, developed and spread wushu, was Jingwu Assotiation ("Association
of true martial arts") founded in 1909 in Shanghai. Two organizations had
branches in all provinces of China (Jingwu Association - also in other countries
among local Chinese communities: in Vietnam, Malaysia, Singapore, Philippines
etc), great masters worked as teachers. During World War II many wushu masters
fought in army or partisan detachments, made theirs contribution in defeating of
Famous wushu master Kung Fu Wushu on Chinese Kung Fu base of huaquan (blossomed fist), zhaquan (fist of Zha), paoquan (cannon fist) hongquan (fist of stream), piguaquan (fist of chopping and hanging), shaolinquan (fist of Shaolin temple) and some others created a new sport competitional style changquan (long fist). On Chinese Kung Fu base of five style of Guangdong province (styles of Hong, Cai, Li, Liu and Mo families) it was created new sport computational style nanquan (southern fist). Names of movements were changed, as a result movements lost mental contents: realy, "crushing mountain strike" is different from "fist bang on a palm". During "Great Cultural Revolution" (1966-1976) wushu lovers were repressed for "indulging of feudal survivals". But in this time popularity of wushu un foreign countries began increase due to kung fu movies. For in admission of decreasing of international prestige wushu was let alone.
Buddhist monks are very gentle and good natured. Their fighting system was developed only to defend themselves against harm. This system was called the 'Lohon' style after the monks in the temple (Lohons) who developed it. The Lohon style is a very basic form of Kung Fu which emphasizes low stances and strong body posture. It proved very successful.
The monks of the Shaolin temple practiced diligently to increase their martial arts skills and were constantly striving to improve their art. A great step forward came with the evolution of the third Shaolin style, called the Tiger style - Tai Chor in Chinese. This was developed by a Chinese emperor, who had relinquished his royal position to adopt the austere ways of Buddhism. He finally settled at the Shaolin temple where he studied deeply in the martial arts, eventually developing the Tai Chor style. For this reason, Tai Chor is sometimes also known as the emperor's style. Tai Chor uses the strong but mobile stance which we use in the Tiger-Crane combination, and which we call the 'walking stance'. It also emphasizes a very strong twisting punch. In fact, the straight punch which ends with a twist of the fist has become a hallmark of Shaolin Kung Fu. The Tai Chor style develops great power and was, therefore, able to defeat the Lohon style which it superseded.
No style is unbeatable. Every move has a counter. Inevitably, another style was
later developed which could counter the Tiger style. This was the monkey style,
known in Chinese as Tai Sheng. Monkey is a very fast, deceptive style. The
monkey tends to close in on his opponent, strike and retreat all in one rapid
sequence. Hence, the powerful Tiger may be unable to hit his tricky, constantly
moving opponent. If the monkey misses with a strike, he will still move away
from his opponent so as not to allow them the chance to counter him. The
monkey's strikes are accurate, more than powerful and are delivered with fingers
or the open palm. Grabbing is also a favorite monkey technique. The monkey likes
to crouch and often attacks the lower body. He especially favours targeting the
groin. For male opponents this can result in serious loss!
Because the monkey style consists of much crouching and rolling, it is best suited to people who are short. It is often considered one of the most entertaining styles to watch.
How can the techniques of the monkey possibly be countered? The answer is by the
techniques of the white crane! The white crane style was the last and most
technically advanced style to be developed in the Fukien Shaolin Temple. Even to
this day, the crane style is regarded with great respect and is shrouded in
secrecy by its masters. Hence it has been one of the last Kung Fu styles which
the Chinese have 'let go' to westerners.
What is this devastating secret possessed by the white crane? The crane sticks. As soon as the crane is attacked it establishes touch contact. If its opponent tries to land the attack, the crane deflects it: if the opponent withdraws, the crane follows; never releasing its touch until it finds a certain opportunity to strike - which it does with no mercy. What use the tricky techniques of the monkey? As he tries to dart away the crane will follow, sticking to him until the chance presents itself to strike. The white crane style represents the pinnacle of the Shaolin martial arts.
|In Fukien Province this resistance was particularly strong. The Fukien Shaolin temple was famous for producing some of the best fighters in China, so many of the rebels came here to perfect their fighting skills. Over the years the temple became a centre for rebellion against the Manchurian government.
During the mid 17th Century, China was conquered by the Manchurians who
established the 'Ching' dynasty of Chinese rule. Not surprisingly, the Chinese
strongly resented being ruled by 'foreigners' and there was much resistance and
Realising that the activities within the Shaolin temple posed a threat to them,
the Manchurians sent their army to deal with it. Rather than face the renown
martial artists of the temple, the Manchurians decided to set fire to it and
wait outside to kill any survivors as they tried to escape the flames. The
temple was destroyed forever in a fiery inferno and almost all of the monks died
in the flames or whilst trying to escape. Only five Kung Fu masters managed to
|The five masters who survived were more determined than ever to defeat the Manchurians. They decided to split up and travel through China. It was necessary for them to disguise themselves and stay on the move, since the government would have loved to execute them. Wherever the masters travelled they stirred up the people to prepare to fight the Manchurians. In readiness for a rebellion they taught them Kung Fu fighting techniques (of course at this time the Chinese did not have guns, all fighting was hand to hand).
|Through their perseverance and dedication, the five masters set up a network of secret societies which was eventually to spread throughout China. These societies trained diligently in the art of Kung Fu and were sworn to free China from the Manchurians. In order to recognise each other they developed many secret signs. The most well known of these is the 'Shaolin salute' with one clenched fist and one open palm. All Kung Fu styles which trace their ancestry to one of the five Shaolin masters begin their patterns with a variant of this salute.


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MIDDLETOWN, R.I. – Junior Jimmy Connelly (Berlin, Conn.) threw a career-high three touchdown passes and senior Rob LaRiviere-Tougas (Easthampton, Mass.) scored a pair of TDs as Salve Regina University snapped a six-game losing to Plymouth State University with a 30-14 win in New England Football Conference (NEFC) action Saturday afternoon at Gaudet Field.
The Seahawks racked up 209 yards of offense against the No. 1 ranked defense in the NEFC, including 152 on the ground, led by 109 from LaRiviere-Tougas. After averaging more than 200 yards rushing through their first eight contests, the Panthers were held to 92 yards on the ground and 170 yards of total offense.
Junior A.J. Albert (Franklin Park, N.J.) led the defensive assault for Salve with 11 tackles and one fumble recovery while senior Nick Jentz (Little Ferry, N.J.) racked up seven tackles and 1.5 sacks.
Connelly completed 8-of-11 passes to four different receivers, including a 29-yard touchdown strike to junior Patrick Keenan (Harrisville, R.I.) midway through the fourth quarter that put the Seahawks in front 30-7. The junior transfer also threw a 28-yard touchdown pass to LaRiviere-Tougas and a 37-yard touchdown pass to classmate Michael Dargan (Meriden, Conn.), giving him five touchdowns and zero interceptions in his last three games.
The win extends the Seahawks win streak to four, matching their longest since 2000, and guarantees them at least a .500 record for the first time since 2001, when they finished 4-4. The Seahawks also picked up their first win over the Panthers since Nov 21, 1998 after having been outscored 182-35 during the losing streak to their visitors from the north.
PSU dropped its second game in a row for the first time since losing three straight in October of 2006. The Panthers fall to 6-3 overall and 4-2 in the NEFC Boyd Division.
The Seahawks created the first the first turnover on the second play of the game when Albert recovered a fumble in PSU territory, but went three-and-out on offense. Plymouth State took over on its own two-yard line and marched 98 yards in 16 plays, capped by a six-yard touchdown run by sophomore Ty Long (Dover, N.H.), to take a 7-0 lead with 3:38 to go in the first.
Salve Regina answered early in the second with a five-play, 51-yard drive that Tougas capped with a 28-yard catch-and-run for a touchdown. The PAT attempt was blocked, however, which kept PSU in front 7-6. The Seahawks defense then forced another three-and-out and took possession at the PSU 46-yard line. The drive appeared to stall at the PSU 38, but the Seahawks faked a punt and the ball ended up in the hands of junior Brian Smith (Tarrytown, N.Y.), who scampered 26 yards for a first down. LaRiviere-Tougas carried the Seahawks the rest of the way, picking up the final 12 yards of the drive that ended with a five-yard touchdown run to put SRU in front 12-7 (missed PAT), which is how the half ended.
The turning point of the game came with PSU facing a fourth-and-nine from its own nine-yard line early in the third quarter. Sophomore Nick Provost (Stratham, N.H.) lined up to punt, but Salve Regina freshman Tyler Colby (Easton, Conn.) got his hand on the ball and blocked the kick. Classmate Michael Gangitano (Coram, N.Y.) pounced on the loose ball in the endzone for a touchdown that gave the Seahawks an 18-7 lead (missed PAT) and their third defensive touchdown in 2010. Later in the quarter, Connelly threw a short pass to Dargan that went for a 37-yard touchdown and put the home team in front 24-7 with 6:22 to go in the third.
Salve put the game away in the fourth quarter as Keenan caught his only pass of the game for his fourth touchdown of the season that stretch Salve Regina's lead to 30-7. Freshman Josh Morgan (Foster, R.I.) – who replaced PSU starting QB J.J. Brooks (Seabrook, N.H.) behind center in the second half – tossed a 30-yard scoring strike to Brooks with 6:22 remaining to close the scoring.
Both teams close out the regular season next Saturday, Salve hosting Nichols College at Gaudet Field at noon and PSU returning home to entertain Curry College, also at noon.
-- 30 --

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Robert Hendery (workshop of), Savage & Lyman
Canadian, 19th century
Goblet, 1860
silver, gilt
15.3 x 7.6 cm
Collection of the Winnipeg Art Gallery; Acquired with the assistance of a repatriation grant from the Government of Canada through the Cultural Property Export and Import Act and with funds from Dr. B.B. Fast, Joanne and Michael Lee, Dr. Jack Lipkin, Dr. F.A.L. Mathewson and by friends of the Winnipeg Art Gallery
Metallic, Decorative Arts Silver
Born in Corfu, Greece, and raised in Scotland, Robert Hendery was the first silversmith working in Canada to employ new techniques and current design trends for a wide market: liturgical, domestic, and presentation (honorific or commemorative) silver. Hendery was active in Montreal from 1837 to 1895, either independently or in partnership with others. In order to compete with the firmly established British export trade, Hendery employed expert silver makers from England, resulting in an unprecedented high quality and range of production for Canadian silversmiths. By the 1860s—due to the calibre and virtuosity of its decoration—the Hendery firm dominated the Canadian market. Following Hendery's retirement in 1895, his firm was purchased by Henry Birks & Sons in 1898.
Gallery Hours
- Tuesday 11am-5pm
- Wednesday 11am-5pm
- Thursday 11am-5pm
- Friday 11am-9pm
- Saturday 11am-5pm
- Sunday 11am-5pm
- Closed Monday


text:
The Persistence of Vision Raytracer (POV-Ray).
This is the legacy Bug Tracking System for the POV-Ray project. Bugs listed here are being migrated to our github issue tracker. Please refer to that for new reports or updates to existing ones on this system.
FS#293 - POV-Ray Shown Twice in Windows Taskbar
Opened by Benedikt Adelmann (badelmann) - Saturday, 18 May 2013, 14:11 GMT
Last edited by William F Pokorny (wfpokorny) - Thursday, 02 February 2017, 15:13 GMT
When rendering for some time, it occasionally happens that POV-Ray appears twice in the Windows taskbar. One button is the normal one, the other one does not open any window when clicked on and reads something like "99% complete" (see attached image), like the render window's title, but obviously unrelated to it (probably the title the render window had shortly before?). After stopping the render, the odd taskbar button remains there until POV-Ray is closed.
Is this a Bug in Windows or in POV-Ray?
- Field changed: Status (Unconfirmed → Tracked on GitHub)
Now tracked on github as issue #229.


text:
User talk:Funnybony/archive10
- 1 My Thai friend
- 2 Your UnNews
- 4 38 and 500
- 5 Get Your UnSignPost! Now More Respected Than The Town Crier!
- 7 Buddy
- 8 Funny new song comment on YouTube
- 9 Hi!
- 10 No need for eye protection, it's the UnSignpost!
- 11 Nillion
- 12 UnNews
- 13 Nom Template for HowTo:Pimp a ho
- 14 Noob that you might like
- 15 Nyad
- 16 ChiefjusticeDS enjoys buttsex: The UnSignpost!
- 17 Set phasers to frag! It's the UnSignpost!
- 18 Hey FB
- 19 Nillion
- 20 Extra! Extra! News that's not new to you!
- 21 The UnSignpost! Cancel Your Subscription Today!
- 22 Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost
- 23 Funnybony!
- 24 Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost!
- 25 Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost
- 26 December 21
My Thai friend[edit]
I left a note on your talk page about the VU but then realized it was in an archive. You should take a look at it nevertheless. MATTHLOCK 20:48, July 19, 2012 (UTC)
Your UnNews[edit]
I left you some massages on your recent UnNews article. You might want to take a look before I nom your article for VFD. --EMC [TALK] 16:00 Jul 20 2012
The Tony Robbins UnNews was really funny, made me laugh! Mattsnow 11:03, July 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Ha, welcome! At first I was thinking of them walking on molten lava. But water is better. Cheers, mate!--Funnybony 11:27, Jul 22
38 and 500[edit]
Just logging in for a few minutes. You now have 38 features and over 500 articles! WotY!!!!!!!! Aleister 17:00 July 25
Get Your UnSignPost! Now More Respected Than The Town Crier![edit]
The periodical without any junk in its trunk!
July 26th, 2012 • Issue 171 • Proudly supporting editorial independence whenever the board say it's okay
Painting by Numbers
This week some of Uncyclopedia's greatest and not so great have spent some time watching Uncyclopedia pass by without them. This is the news that Wikia has taken the momentous decision to lock out the vast majority of the active administrators and half the users.
Problems began at 11:20 UTC on the 24th of July when Socky discovered that he was unable to access a few select features of his account; logging in being the most obvious. Banished to the realm of numbers Socky went to the forums and told everyone else. It soon became apparent that nobody could log in, except for Bizzeebeever, who "made the software his bitch" by pressing the log in button more than even wikia had anticipated. As everyone sat on the forum and debated just how angry and indignant this news should make them, a wikia representative was dispatched to the forum to pour oil on troubled waters, suggesting that Uncyclopedians "Return to causing world suffering or burning me in effigy".
But burning effigies of Wikia staff members would have to wait as it became evident that, following the initial lock out of everybody, the adminstrator database had somehow been lost when it was being carried to a new building, or something like that. The administrator magic then gushed into the ground and caused a giant peach to grow outside Wikia headquarters.
This condemned the administrators to a long evening of moaning on the Uncyclopedia IRC channel, where another Wikia representative awaited with nothing but a can do attitude and a lack of information about the problem to ensure that everybody remained as irritated as possible. Even worse than that, following a great deal of moaning somebody started off UnTrivia, forcing everybody through an evening of anagrams and obscure song lyrics.
At the time of going to press only Thekillerfroggy appears to have been able to force his way through the log in procedure to use admin tools while users who could log in took full advantage of the absence of any administrators to fill the forum with appalling alternatives to fixing the problem. It would seem that, at present, the only solution is to make a new account and then curry favour with TKF, the only way to do this being fellatio or copious helpings of wang. 22.214.171.124 had this to say about the outage: "Zombiebaron.... FU WIKIA". 220.127.116.11 reported a similar feeling saying "Ahahahahahahahahah...god dammit, why can't I log in?".
As we enter a second day with all the admins locked out something novel occurs to me; I can watch Uncyclopedia, and I can shag the sheep, but I don't want to if nobody knows it was me.
Loramycetaceae of Ipswich do lorikeets while sitting amidst consecrators a-disciplining the elite. My gonads' dictum ipsilaterally saps your mom. Nullification of the masses accretes the Nibelungen's pretty umpty temperament. Done accelerating liberation. Done cunting shit amidst nisin from a pedo auctioneer named Hendrik. Protein from Trisha's antique rises into risus sardonicus. Doodlebugs' necks beget a menu with fetus. Protein exposure lectures quip Magdalena Corvallis, files nisei fermenter magma, nut amputate diam denim ac tulles. Groin peed. Coned a joust ac oleo perambulator lacing. In presidium collision purls. Letitia venations, nils veal consenter plenteousness, orcas mi male Tussuad urns, veil tempoes nuns est at gurus. Nascence volute.
Vivacious Yul trices. Crays portrait offends libeler. Nuns mi amass, collisional veal, dissimilar quips, volute vitae, nuns. Done consequent. Coned congruent peed sit meat denim. Duelist pulmonary ants. Nuns consecrate tether. Done cactus cum, qualm sit mate pulp Tate oculists, just libeler various purrs, seed biennium Turpin purls beget Loramycetaceae. Quizzes we equine dew, Budapest neck, male Tussuad veld, fermentation in, odors. Phallus invites torpor. Integer neck elicit. Nam vitae felts vile Loramycetaceae lacerate Hendrik. Present ornate. Loramycetaceae of Ipswich dolor sit meat, conch secreter a-discoing lite. Sunlamp Isis. Plenteousness vaccinial volute arch.
Bisque non nun. In ornate commodity venality. Swed nun rises, gravid at, concuss id, tempts you, Sulla. Phallus is lacking, commodore sled, incident pulmonary, facilitates Vella, Nissie. Vivacious Budapest. Noella enigma. Donne portal Allison dolor. Groin non Maurise. Letitia Loramycetaceae urns, vestibular eat, aliquot vitae, suspicious neck, tulles. Letitia so dales diam egret equine tempos aorta. In ult rices Dolores. Also, I can log in again! Hurrah!
|UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
--OliOmniOmbudsman 14:50, July 26, 2012 (UTC)
Just a note that I haven't talked to you of late. Glad to see you're still busy on the contribs side on UnNews! I would vote for them but I don't vote for any UnNews as a feature, just don't think that is the right place for them. Anyways, good you are still here as others have come and gone or hit the self destruct button! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 18:46, July 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Good on yah, mate! And I'm glad to be your buddy. You're one of the reasons why I'm happy here, vote or not. I also think that UnNews are rarely ever extensive enough to be FA because they are mostly too short (while long news stories are too boring). I've seen that Wikipedia hardly ever features a news story - and for the same reasons. Lets do another collab some time. Stay well, bro! Cheers--Funnybony 20:37, Jul 30
I saw the note on that VFH nom. Heart goes out to you man. Stay strong. Nominally Humane! 09:14 01 Aug
Funny new song comment on YouTube[edit]
"This song rapes J. Bieber and S. Gomez in a dark alley and leaves them for dead!"
A strange compliment--Funnybony 15:40, Aug 3
Are you aware of this? Aleister 18:00 8-7-'012
No need for eye protection, it's the UnSignpost![edit]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
August 9th, 2012 • Issue 172 • You need to know stuff to be biased!
The state of the Wiki: Summer 2012
The biggest news of the week this week is that there isn't any news whatsoever, sure there are a few forums in the dump that promise to radically shake up the way everyone edits Uncyclopedia, or at least change it slightly. But for the most part there is no news, which always comes as a great relief to everyone in the UnSignpost office as it means that we can spend this week drivelling about pointless minutia and thus crawl that one vital step closer to death.
The state of the wiki is this: nobody is voting for half of the monthly awards. This is naturally a cause of great concern for everybody, the prevailing feeling being that somebody should be nominating and voting for people on these awards, but we'd rather it wasn't us. Nobody is happy with the current VFS system, but nobody can agree on anything to change it to, so the current VFS system has remained with he proviso that everyone sneer about how unfair it is every time it is used.
This periodical has already chronicled the appalling miscarriage of justice that allows administrators extra votes on VFS so it with an air of surprise that the UnSignpost can now bring to you a proposal to let administrators run everything. Uncyclopedia's 29th wordy controversy filled blockbuster of the year suggests that the admins run everything because they are the most thorough and most experienced users, the voting section of the same forum being filled with comments from admins saying "Tl;dr" and "I can't be bothered to read your entire essay", hand these splendid fellows the keys to city immediately, the UnSignpost implores you to entrust the administrative body with any nuclear codes or state secrets you might have, safe in the knowledge that they will never ever be looked at.
Thekillerfroggy has solved the problems of the Worst 100 list by skipping 60 reflections and justifying it with a cliché, absolutely nobody notices and continues adding reflections about themselves and why they are adding a reflection to the list. Modusoperandi adds an actual reflection to the list causing the universe to begin collapsing in upon itself.
The final and most grave piece of news is that Uncyclopedia is critically low in images of boobs, totalling only 634 pictures in the boob images category, now either some of you aren't correctly categorising your images of boobs, or there is a serious problem. Socky, who long ago took on the arduous and time consuming task of auditing the boob images category said "How I
Uncyclopedia Needs More Vandals
Yeah, you heard me, <insert name here>. Uncyclopedia needs more vandals. Why, you may ask. Why would we need more annoying basement-dwellers to ban? Well, I'll tell you.
As all of you may have noticed, Uncyclopedia has been going through some inactivity lately, to the point where users who haven't signed on since who knows when are becoming more active on the site than users who check the website everyday. It seems our competitor has been gaining more activity than us, and we can't let that happen, now can we? There's only one way to get our activity back up: recruit vandals.
Most vandals are EDiots anyway (of course, the best vandals are admins), so if we attract some vandals here, maybe they'll attract some more writers! And... er...
Second thought, we don't need more vandals. Vandals suck and they should die.
|UnSignpost Main Page • Contact the Editors • Sign Up for Delivery • Get the Userbox
--ChiefjusticeXBox360 07:02, August 10, 2012 (UTC)
Hey Funnybonyy I noticed that you deleted a really large chunk from the article. I really believe that the material can be reworked and it will still be useful and funny. Just saying. :) --ShabiDOO 23:34, August 12, 2012 (UTC)
- Hi Shabi, hope you're doing well. When I rewrote the article it became an economic joke, and was complete in itself. Though I tried to keep your material as a MISC. But it clashed, or somehow didn't work -- I mean, even you refused to vote for it, twice. So I considered to try and save my material and make it compact I'd take a look at dropping your misc section. If you think we can put the two together then I'm willing to try. Otherwise lets divide the material into two articles, like, 1) Nillion (number), and 2) Nillion (economics). I just wanted to see how my material would look on its own, then discuss with you. So here we are. What should we do? I think I'm on to something with my material, and it works by itself. Your MISC material is also good but it doesn't go with what I did. You must have not liked something about the combination either because twice you boycotted it on VFH. So I'm trying to consolidate the main material - which you also contributed to. It's a collab even without the MISC. What do you suggest, mate? Cheers!--Funnybony 07:46, Aug 13
Hi bro! Since you like UnNews, I thought maybe this forum would interest you. It'd be great if you took the mantle over. Mattsnow 12:59, August 15, 2012 (UTC)
- Hey, is that medal on the forum for me? It would make a great souvenir of my time as the editor! I think you would make a great editor. It sounds weird coming from a guy that is stepping down, but it's fun! And if at any given time and for whatever reason you're tired of it, you just do like I did. I hope the community comes to a solution without drama, but anyway, in two days from now I just stop editing the templates. As I said before, go ahead with the tweaking of The 9/11 Commission Report. Mattsnow 23:59, August 15, 2012 (UTC)
Nom Template for HowTo:Pimp a ho[edit]
I saw the message. Trying to work out how you re-direct to the new nom page. --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 11:14, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
Noob that you might like[edit]
User:JediGanesh has written Jediism which you might like. I suggested he talk to you as you might be able to give him a hand along the way. Nominally Humane! 12:33 18 Aug
I'm guessing the mosquitos got the best of her... -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 18:33, August 21, 2012 (UTC)
ChiefjusticeDS enjoys buttsex: The UnSignpost![edit]
August 23rd, 2012 • Issue 173 • One periodical to rule them all...
Don't mention the merger
The UnSignpost office is always busy, the phones ringing, the journalists writing, the constant clamouring of eager interview candidates and our editor daydreaming all of the above into existence. If anyone else came through the office every week there wouldn't be room for the crippling loneliness that forms such a massive part of our lives.
The same, alas, cannot be said for UnBooks Author of the Month and UnScripts Playwright of the Month whose complete lack of any activity has resulted in them both being rolled into writer of the month. Why is this news? Because it means less voting and if there's less voting there must be less democracy, that's just common sense.
Responsible for this dastardly plot is none other than Simsilikesims, you all know Simsilikesims, she's the person who wrote the content warning which we now see approximately six times a day. If you didn't know how content warnings worked before you definitely do now. Simsilikesims has had a number of these good ideas and it's likely that shortly we shall see her malevolent intent, possibly in the form of combining the UnTunes namespace with the mainspace because not enough people are singing their articles in the style of Dragonforce or however it is those people who don't understand magnetic fields sing their songs.
What would an intolerable loss of the right of Uncyclopedians to let parts of the wiki fall into a state of abandonment and disrepair be without Thekillerfroggy to swing the hammer of despair?
Hoping nobody would notice TKF also decided to smite Reviewer of the Month into the ether. RotM is an award that literally nobody was ever interested in... It's also the only award I've ever won twice, so don't mind me, I'll just be over here sobbing while I look through the archives of the first award I ever won...
In other news Mattsnow has stepped down as UnNews' biggest cheese. The war to replace him is now on, the choice being between GlobalTourniquet and a machine who will plaster something onto the front page every so often, a machine and nobody at all.
We here in the UnSignpost office haven't quite decided which we prefer and have ultimately decided to vote for Batman instead. Batman has a grappling hook to reach hard-to-reach places, sneaks around wearing leather and is a complete social retard while he's doing the job, in other words he's perfect for the position. If he can save Gotham from the Joker then we have absolute confidence in his ability to read articles and then put them in a template on a fairly regular basis. Do you have an opinion? Too bad, because you don't get a say; GlobalTourniquet started doing the whole thing last Saturday.
Happy Thursday!
The feature feature
"VFH sucks right now." proclaims the banner that greets all visitors to the VFH page. We've all seen it, probably whilst passing through and very pointedly not visiting VFP which is now beginning to resemble the immediate aftermath of a Nuclear event. However, this reporter has come up with an alternative explanation: it isn't VFH that sucks, it's all of you, and by extension all of us, which also happens to be all of me. Uncyclopedians, famous for their flame wars and constant douchebaggery seem to have come to the conclusion that when on VFH that it's better not to vote than to disagree.
What else could account for the 15 plus voter turnout for articles that we all agree are fantastically well written/crafted, while articles which may well be of high quality, but bear the title "UnNews:Politicians politicise the filing system of plumbing the South-Eastern region of the Ukraine" struggle along, accruing 7 votes for before sitting on the feature queue until they die of old age. This alongside the fact that people can't be bothered means Thekillerfroggy is beside himself at the state of things. Why TKF? Because he seem to have appointed himself supreme worrier in-chief for VFH and is executing that duty by slapping increasingly urgent messages onto the page. "DON'T MAKE ME PUT IN CAPITALS" twitched Thekillerfroggy when approached by the UnSignpost about the latest message.
How do we fix this? Voting, obviously, but it's more than that. Yes, you might only have time to vote on just one article, yes you are probably more likely to enjoy the article with 20 votes than 5, but unless you vote the articles with 5 votes will never have 20. There are lots of articles to vote on, but you have ages to do it in! This article has been there for a month and has managed 10 votes. Twitter managed 17 in 5 days! Are you people pulling our balls?
Don't make us use the awe inspiring powers of caps lock to get our way, VOTE NOW!
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Set phasers to frag! It's the UnSignpost![edit]
The Newspaper That Replaces Analysis With Flashy Graphics!
September 6th, 2012 • Issue 174 • When we were your age, this was all fields...
My "coming out"
Hey girlfriends! This week the UnSignpost puts the "Queen" in "Drama Queen" as it discusses the issues which are literally the bomb.
The biggest bomb this week, besides how darling our UnSignpost correspondents look in their new outfits, is that Zombiebaron wants the wiki to improve, this means deleting most of it and playing trivia on IRC. The bigger news is that PoofyOnTheRadio also wants the wiki to improve, this means not playing trivia on IRC and sending editors out onto the internet in order to sell their bodies to Google in the hopes that this will increase traffic to the wiki.
These squabbles are ultimately self-defeating, while we are arguing amongst ourselves whether or not we ought to change the beginner's guide into an 20 minute video and a fireworks display we still haven't managed to do anything. What we have decided is that articles can be deleted with less than +5 votes to delete and that RAHB is very good at trivia if nothing else.
The other big news from weeks ago is that Mattsnow has stopped being in charge of UnNews after a period of however long it is he has been doing that. Shabidoo who loves to do "zany" stuff so he can get into the UnSignpost, has created an extra forum to ensure that absolutely nobody thanks Mattsnow and instead demonstrates just how hilarious they are. Congratulations to Zombiebaron who came out with the completely obvious joke before anyone else.
Finally GlobalTourniquet, the new UnNews Quasar (by appointment of himself) is open to criticism... and penis, lol.
Remember the heady days of two weeks ago when we told you all to feel very bad because VFH didn't have enough nominations. Well forget that because now it does and we can move our sensationalist bandwagon elsewhere. Where better to send it than Pee review, currently known as the namespace that isn't a namespace that time forgot. Five reviews for the entire month of August demonstrates that nobody really seems particularly interested in assisting the review process.
It might take a little while to do a Pee Review but there is a reason we have the space. It is of particular concern as we have a list of people who are supposed to be doing reviews at least once a month, myself included. Where are we? Who knows, but we certainly aren't perusing the list of articles awaiting review. Let's go over there! Let's bring Thekillerfroggy who can put a stern template at the top of the page and insist that this is hugely important to the wiki, guess what.... IT IS!!!
Also there is likely to be a new VFS this month, bring on the voting, it makes everything better!
Why, again, are we counting to a million?
Ever since 2008, Uncyclopedia has had a tradition of counting to a million. Started by Spang, this tradition has been going on for nearly five years. However, recently the question was asked relating to the value of the forum, with users complaining that it was "completely devoid of humor" and that it turns smart users into idiots.
After mass protest (okay, not really) from the contributors of the thread and from someone else, said users commented on the forum saying that counting to a million is why so many articles supposedly suck nowadays and it's also why VFH is completely empty. It has also been stated that only idiots would do it.
So now I'm attempting to answer it as quickly as I can: that's the point. We're idiots and we know that we're never going to make it to a million, but we want to see how close we can get anyway.
So if you are the type of idiot that would write for Uncyclopedia, feel free to assist us in our count to one million, or close to.
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--ChiefjusticeXBox360 10:46, September 6, 2012 (UTC)
Hey FB[edit]
I trust you are still around FB!. I noticed you made only one edit this past 30 days. Hope all is well! --RomArtus*Imperator ® (Orate) 13:33, September 25, 2012 (UTC)
- Thanks Romy! I'm still alive. Been pretty distracted and dull brained. Looks like all is well here. Unnews is cranking with new bloods. I'll try to add more as I get inspired. Stay well and keep the mast flying. Cheers!--Funnybony 16:55, Nov 16
Hey Funnybony, I was away when you left the message about nillion. How did the vote go? --ShabiDOO 05:46, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
Extra! Extra! News that's not new to you![edit]
The Newspaper With Love In Every Paragraph!
Nov 20rd, 2012 • Issue 175 • The edition that's black and white and dead all over
We are all doomed, and it's Wikia's fault
It's been a quiet four months at Uncyclopedia, our hometown, out here on the edge of the prairie, and it's not just because Wikia have murdered everyone and are currently bathing in golden tubs filled with their blood. It seems Uncyclopedia has lost more users than John Travolta has lost gerbils up his own butt[citation needed], but fear not, Uncyclopedians-who-have-been-here-less-than-one-month! Long-time wunderkind and beloved administrator Frosty (sorry, are we laying it on too thickly?) has a plan to save us, and it involves... getting himself run over by a car.
Ha ha! Actually, he posted a forum topic, accompanied by a vote, because that's what Uncyclopedians do in times of crisis, and it always works. Forum:Petitions to make all our users that quit comeback attempts to galvanize Uncyclopedia's remaining users to action by reminding them that we used to have members, Oh! so many members! Most of whom were better than us! Please sign a petition asking them back—sign, you ungrateful todgers, like your lives depend on it—and then email them all on the 14th!
In theory, the people receiving said emails will return to Uncyclopedia with smiles on their faces and bliss in their hearts. In practice, however, the plan has been difficult to implement. And by "difficult", we mean "slightly impossible". A frustrated user has narrowed the plan's failure to three causes:
As it turns out, Wikia has limited the number of emails users can send to each other to ONE PER BLOODY DAY, rendering Frosty's scheme to bury our departed users under an avalanche of spam all for naught. As of Monday, November 19, exactly two departed users have been persuaded to return by the campaign, and nobody likes Kakun or Oliphaunte anyway, because they are useless puddles of suckage. It's just as well; most current Uncyclopedians are slightly too drunk to notice that putting a running chainsaw against one's neck is a bad idea, much less understand what the petition is all about.
At any rate, if you haven't accidentally decapitated yourself with a chainsaw, do have a look at that forum, and if necessary, make yourself one or two (or forty) sockpuppets, just to spam those long-departed users of ours. The Cabal Wills It.*
*(Note: There Is No Cabal)
Frosty is dead.
No, you read that wrong, he is just dead inside. Earlier this month, Frosty nearly had the shit murdered out of him by a car. Luckily, as Frosty is a typical Australian teenager, he was protected from serious harm by his protein-based exoskeleton and his thick layer of poisonous, mucosal warts. The car is expected to recover in time for the rematch; in an interview with our correspondent, the car shouted numerous dark threats while leaping onto a turnbuckle and shredding its T-shirt.
In the interim, Frosty has been resting comfortably with the aid of codeine, alcohol, and oral favors from the Asian transsexuals arrayed at his feet. "I find Uncyclopedia no longer holds the same draw for me as it did before," said Frosty, "especially since I've been getting oral favours from these Asian transsexuals arrayed at my feet."
So weep, all ye who read this, for Frosty has joined the ranks of the undead, despised by God and abhorred by the God-fearing. On the upside: he can now appreciate those movies about sparkly vampires. On the downside: he wants our blood. RUN!
Return of the Prodigal Son
Hearts and minds were filled with joy last month by the tentative return of beloved Uncyclopedian Bizzeebeever, who became scarce in July, leaving behind a terse apology for "having no money for Internetting". Current Uncyclopedia ghost Lyritha was heard to say "Buckets, remind me who that is, again..." before floating away down a corridor, moaning and rattling chains. Or rather, she would have, if ghosts were real, and if we'd asked her.
Bizzeebeever's return is said to augur good tidings for the wiki, even though his current contributions consist of pointless pot-shots at Wikia, and short, pithy remarks left on talk pages, such as "fuck you, I hope you are dead", and "please disregard the previous comment, my penis was caught in a pencil sharpener". He also lurks for hours on IRC, talking and playing UnTrivia by himself. It will surprise no one at all that Bizzeebeever is now the person most accomplished at playing with himself; when we asked Zombiebaron about Bizzeebeever's remarkable dominance of a game that no one else plays, he was heard to remark "Zombiebaron", which our interpreters took to mean "Can someone please ban that guy? I am too lazy to do it myself."
We at the Unsignpost do hope that Bizzeebeever holds on to his current position as Head of Quality Assurance at the dildo factory, for we have missed his hilarious forum posts almost as much as we missed his habit of talking himself up in the Unsignpost ...and his limpid blue eyes ...and his silky-soft golden locks ...and the charmingly-gnarled 40 kg tumor jutting from his neck—you know the one, it resembles the offspring of a blood tangerine and a baboon, and contains both hair and teeth...? (That might be his head; we're not sure.) Anyway, yes, we all love Bizzeebeever, and we hope he stays "returned", at least until the judge decides whether to hold him indefinitely, or just chemically castrate him, for the safety of the public.
Return of the OTHER Prodigal Son
This past week, another intermittent Uncyclopedia member (and full-time Mensch-in-Chief), TKF, returned to swear at SPIKE; delete articles which had even votes on VFD; ban people; feature an article with one "For" vote, one "Against" vote, and one comment on VFH; and be a generally hilarious excuse for an administrator. We all want to be you when we grow up, TKF!
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~ BB ~ (T) ~ Tue, Nov 20 '12 8:49 (UTC)
The UnSignpost! Cancel Your Subscription Today![edit]
Better sign it.
Nov 27, 2012 • Issue 176 • I scream, you scream, we all scream...for painful orgasms
No, Uncyclopedia has not gotten religion; it's still full of degenerates, wang vandals, and that scourge of gay men everywhere: uncensored images of boobies. However, it has seen a recent influx of old and new users, most of whom apparently never got the memo about how Uncyclopedia sucks, or how Uncyclopedia is dying, or how Uncyclopedia will be contagious for another six weeks before the amoxicillin starts working.
Returning recently like a scorching case of gonorrhea were Meganew (!), Socky, NoNamesLeft (to the everlasting delight of Frosty), and Master of Menageries Comicat1, who took a six-month sabbatical to invent preposterous new animals on the Serengeti. New users include Sinner George, MagicBus, Leverage, Fakehater and Kamek98, who have all taken to editing like ducks take to water—of course proving that they are all sockpuppets of someone, for which they will all be perm-banned, just as soon as Frosty can figure out who.
Lastly but not leastly, we celebrate the arrival of the ridiculously competent Murder Frog, who brings expertise on influential musicians of the last century, but, more importantly, has the most awesome name since the Universe itself birthed Captain Machinegun Thunderpants Fuckmaster on a pile of slaughtered tigers. The UnSignpost welcomes them, one and all, and hopes that their tranquilizers don't wear off while they still remember how to leave.
Obituary for a friend
Thanksgiving came and went on Uncyclopedia this past week, and while the rest of the world was busy cracking jokes about how Americans really don't need to throw a holiday as an excuse for eating, a certain Uncyclopedia tradition was busy getting beaten, raped, and left for dead in the compost-bin of memory. Yes, we were referring to the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball; how did you know?
For those of you who don't remember, or don't want to remember (we assume that's all of you), the Aristocrat's Turkey Day Ball was the once-mighty celebration of sex-, torture- and scat-based humor so debauched and vile that it would shame a London dockside whore, and not a fresh young one, either—one that had been "fucked around the fleet". Sadly, no one even remembered the damn thing until two days before Thanksgiving, and when Uncyclopedia's favorite whipping boy brought up the subject in a forum, he was met by a silence so vast that we assume he fell into it, because we haven't seen him since. Being Kip, though, he'll probably pop back up through a sewer grate somewhere. Swim hard, Kip.
The ATDB left no survivors; its limp corpse will be thoroughly sexually abused, its intestines torn apart and worn around necks like Christmas garland, and its remains will be fed to a freshly no-legged midget with a massive dildo rammed up his butt. Damn you, Mhaille and Zombiebaron, you lazy useless fucks.
Esoteric bullshit
A certain faithful UnSignpost reader recently noted via electronic signal that the UnSignpost's last edition was both "spam" and "esoteric bullshit". We Here At the UnSignpost™ were, to be frank, shocked and dismayed by this statement, for it was never our intent to be anything but the most outrageously stupid, inane, crass, vulgar, rude, boorish, inbred, brain-dead, emotionally-stunted, anti-literate, fucked-up and all-around retarded puddle of gassy splooge east or west of the Mississippi—or any river, for that matter. In this endeavor, however, it seems we have failed.
Yes, someone has beat us to it, and by a wide margin, for he is the undisputed champion of such sculduddery. So we offer up our most heartfelt apology to that reader, who shall remain nameless (it was Hotadmin4u69), and we humbly admit that we stand in awe of his ability to pick the gayest user name possible, not once, but twice. However, while we wish him the best of luck in disentangling his dental retainer from his own scrotum, we would like to remind him of the famous adage, Never quarrel with a man who buys ink by the barrel.
Frosty Sez:
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Journalism so yellow it's orange: The UnSignpost[edit]
Because Uncyclopedia is no laughing matter.
Dec 6th, 2012 • Issue 177 • OH GOD RUN! IT HAS GENITALS, AND IT IS IN SEARCH OF A MATE!
A headline goes here! No, really!
Well, it's that time of the month when you realize you've wasted another 30 days in the company of Uncyclopedians, and your wife or girlfriend metamorphoses into a giant man-eating banana and rampages through Kuala Lumpur while screaming about "cramps". But cheer up, Mister Cratchit! Eet's Christmas toime! Yes, time to purchase meaningless junk for people you hate, give freely to homeless assholes who are too lazy to work for their own money, and get drunk with other people you hate, because the economy is in the shitter, and if you ain't buying, you're with the terrorists! And now that I've reminded you of your long-lost Christmas spirit, it's time to remind you of something we like to call "VFS"!
Yes, VFS is upon us again, and with it come several calls to op some twit named "Bizzeebeever". We Here At The UnSignpost™ can't think of anything that would benefit the wiki less, unless it was feeding live badgers through a blender inside Wikia's datacenter, or perhaps marking the words "UNCYCLOPEDIA HATES JIMBO" onto a large paper bag, filling it with our own feces, lighting it afire, and dropping it through an open window at the headquarters of the Wikimedia Foundation. Or perhaps renting a hot-air balloon and filling its ballast tanks with liquid sewage and flying over the house of one James Q. Wales, Esq. Or perhaps sacrificing virgins on a beach under a full moon, nude, while blasting Slayer from massive speakers while a Coast Guard boat rakes the sand with machine-gun fire...um, where were we again?
Ah, yes! The idiots over at VFS are on about something. You should go vote "no".
This week, MAJOR NEWS happened, and as usual, our correspondents were on it quicker than Kirstie Alley on a meat sandwich, or a meat pie, or anything made of meat, really. We are happy to report that longtime useless slacker and IRC lurker RAHB checked out a book from a local library! (Please suppress your exclamations of shock and dismay, folks; the neighbors are still complaining about the Coast Guard-assisted virgin sacrifice). When we inquired about RAHB's first foray into intellectual enrichment since his early childhood, he summarized it as follows:
Stay tuned for next week, folks, when Zombiebaron Hears a Who! Same Bat-Channel, same Bat-Time!
The last two editions of the UnSignpost, which were the first editions published since the last editor came down with a case of exploding lung-weasels and threw himself off a cliff, contained 150% more fucking swear-words and 6000% more hyperventillating about things which are going to kill us all (such as Wikia, you knew it was going to be Wikia, because fuck Wikia). However, most of the 700 complaints we've received in the last two weeks (all of which were from Hotadmin4u69, and 699 of which included candid shots of his genitals[1]) concerned the lack of the UnSignpost dog, who we cheerfully claimed had been murdered and turned into soup. (If you hadn't noticed, go back and check. We'll wait.) This, of course, was an outrageous and unforgivable ploy on our parts to get your attention, and we apologize for it profusely; we promise never again to threaten or even joke about violence against dogs, especially since the SPCA's hired thugs know where we live. So here you are, folks: this week's edition of this glorious rag will go back to the usual tradition of featuring a charming dog who is in no peril at all:
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~ Capt. Sock Monkey ~ (berate) ~ Thu, Dec 6 '12 12:46 (UTC)
I'm kind of back. Love your new pic at the top of this page. Are you back? Collab! Aleister 16:18 11Decem12
- Hey bro! Yeah, I'm kinda back too. Sure! Cheers--Funnybony 16:38, Dec 11
- Feeelinnn' grovvy. And since it looks like we will all survive December 21, and even December 23, it's good to be back. I'll ease-mail you before the 'morrow. And what's your best page to hit the 40 feature mark? The 40 Club has been holding its doors open for you for months, and the guy holding it needs a bathroom break. Tony Jaa lives! Al minutes later
- Yes, please send me a mail. The Sog novel is still in editing by a pro. You're so close to the top of the HOS that there is a conspiracy against you. Now you have to be 10 times better than anyone else to get an FA. That's a ball breaker, eh? Nillion is my best prospect now. But I still like HowTo:Pimp a ho and Uncyclopedian - have a go at them, bro! And lets gab!--Funnybony 17:01, Dec 11
- Sog is the best, and should be. I would now like to at least hold the top spot for a few moments, and you're right, it calls for a good outing. My newest bet is one I'm working on now, and will polish for awhile yet. Gab ya later. Al in the here and now
- Yes, please send me a mail. The Sog novel is still in editing by a pro. You're so close to the top of the HOS that there is a conspiracy against you. Now you have to be 10 times better than anyone else to get an FA. That's a ball breaker, eh? Nillion is my best prospect now. But I still like HowTo:Pimp a ho and Uncyclopedian - have a go at them, bro! And lets gab!--Funnybony 17:01, Dec 11
- Feeelinnn' grovvy. And since it looks like we will all survive December 21, and even December 23, it's good to be back. I'll ease-mail you before the 'morrow. And what's your best page to hit the 40 feature mark? The 40 Club has been holding its doors open for you for months, and the guy holding it needs a bathroom break. Tony Jaa lives! Al minutes later
- Hey bro! Yeah, I'm kinda back too. Sure! Cheers--Funnybony 16:38, Dec 11
Sloppy, falling-apart, and duct-taped-together: the UnSignpost![edit]
The Newspaper That Wonders What Happened To You. You Used To Be Cool.
Dec 12th, 2012 • Issue 178 • Only wild horses can tear me apart.
I was asked to write a guest editorial, so let's get this over with. In the spirit of the Christmas and/or Holiday Season, I would like to offer an olive branch of peace. We could all use a little more peace around here. Well, not here, per se, because drama is always welcome amusement for me. More so than in places like the Middle East—the Middle East needs to calm the fuck down and Uncyclopedia needs to be more like the Middle East is what I'm trying to say.
Still, drama isn't always amusing. For example, I won't be on the front page next month (I mean, if (point for humility) I win an award) because someone is having a pissy-fit over some bollocks and removed the awards from the front page. In this particular case, we need to pee on the fire, rather than fan the flames. The conflict I'm referring to is between two celebrated users, Thekillerfroggy and SPIKE. The root of this tension stems from the fact that TKF thinks SPIKE is the worst person ever and should leave this site, or at least stop sucking his own dick. Basically, SPIKE is to TKF what Toby is to Michael on The Office. Particularly if there were a British equivalent to Toby. God, that's a good show. Or was. It really blows now.
Let me just say that you both have your faults. TKF: You need to stop being a dick, even when it is more hilarious than when it isn't. You appear to be in a drunken rage. I realize it's Hanukkah, but you should really tone it down on the whine.
And SPIKE: Well, I just think you're a textbook case of someone who needs to masturbate more. I suggest you start December 25th, when you're having a less-than-sufficient amount of fun reading my holiday-themed articles.
Despite these differences, you both have one thing in common: You're Uncyclopedians. And the essence of being an Uncyclopedian is appreciating the art of Comedy. When the world is at its darkest, we rely on the light of humor, parody and satire. Some have said that Uncyclopedia is at its darkest point right now, that our brightest days are far behind. Yet if the annual winter solstice teaches us anything, it's that the brightest days always follow the darkest nights.
Or some sugary moral message like that. I mostly just wanted to drop a few horrible puns and get away with insulting you both all over the site. Merry Christmas!
Today's date is significant!
Because Joey Numbers has his first feature, Wikia are censoring cocks, and it's 12/12/12. That's why, bitches.
Uncyclopedia and social nutworking!
Do you have a lame sense of humor that is best expressed in 140 characters or less? Do you enjoy ruining the mojo of entire websites? Do you have a tiny penis, or none at all? Then have we got news for you! Those of you who wish to do a better job of misrepresenting Uncyclopedia on all the popular social platforms, including YouBoob, Twatter, Facebutt, StubbleUpon, Porntrest, Cumblr, Spreddit, and all the others, are hereby invited to hit up Hotadmin4u69's talk page, and to do it forthwith, post-haste. Why? Because Hotadmin4u69 runs Uncyclopedia's social networking presenceses...es, all by his lonesome—or at least he did...until now. But he's NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, HE'S NOT GONNA TAKE IT, ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOAH! No, seriously, he's going to quit the wiki entirely (as if he hasn't already) if people don't lend him a hand. He loves you all, but you all suck, and it's a thankless task—almost as thankless as writing and delivering this drivel every week.
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Watch your step! It's a steaming-hot pile of UnSignpost[edit]
We're delivering it to your door anyways!
Dec 19th, 2012 • Issue 179 • YOUR JOKE HERE! Contact management for details.
Apocalypse postponed until after NFL playoffs
This week, it was publicly confirmed for the first time that the on-again-off-again Apocalypse has been postponed indefinitely, due to an accumulation of frozen water in and about the subterranean headquarters of Heck, Incorporated. Yes, it appears that Uncyclopedia's dwindling community of degenerates and failed comedy writers (which is literally the same thing, but never mind), having suffered far too long under the Wikian lash of nipple-and-dick censorship, have finally gotten their shit together[citation needed], and are making a move to new hosting. News of the move came in Uncyclopedia's Village Dump, as part of a nonchalant post by Lyrithya, who returned to the site from her current job as a human spiderweb to stun, confound, and enrage exactly two people with her announcement.
When asked why she chose now to de-bag her cat, instead of waiting for a more opportune moment (such as, y'know, after the fucking move actually happened), Lyrithya had this to say: "I was drunk." Salient words, indeed, which show she is an Uncyclopedian through-and-through, and which afford the rest of us an overwhelming sense of confidence in the Uncyclodepia Moving Company. Yes.
However, while We Here At The UnSignpost™ lounge about and poke fun, you may rest assured that the technicians at Up With Uncyclodepia have not been taking it easy. It's been eleven months of back-breaking work out on the wiki farm, getting up at the crack of noon to shovel out the cow coop, milk the chickens, and slap the sheep for indulging in indelicate thoughts. According to an anonymous source at the highest level of Uncyclopedia's labyrinthine network of cabals, the move quite definitely, absolutely, without a doubt, will be happening at some distant point in the very near future, probably maybe, just as soon as all the ducks are lined up in convenient rows so that they can be loaded onto trains and sent to special camps. When we asked what the bloody devil this meant, we were told to shut up and move along, and that there is no cabal, which we admit must be true, as we have heard it so many times.
So, to recap: Uncyclopedia is leaving Wikia for greener pastures, and as most things undertaken by Uncyclopedians happen, it will be slap-dash, semi-competent, and will probably result in everyone involved hating each other to the death, hopefully with the assistance of swords, horses, and heavy artillery.
Reaction to the news!
As of press time, the list of Uncyclopedians furious at having been left out of all the fun could not be reached for comment, but are assumed to be boiling with righteous indignation. To make sense of the week's stunning development, we were able to get hold of an expert on all things frozen and hellish: Sumerian demon-king and devil-about-town, Pazuzu. "I was just doing what I usually do," said he, "by which I mean I was hanging out in some northeastern American town, whispering into the ear of a nondescript loner that guns are fun and kids love fun, and hey wouldn't it be cool if you combined the two?, when I heard that Uncyclopedia was leaving Wikia! I said shit, motherfucker! and ran over there as quick as I could to shut that shit down, but it was too late. And now my home Down Under is encased in ice. Man, some days you're the dog, and some days you're the fire hydrant, know what I mean?" We really didn't, but as we have always enjoyed not being frogs, and would prefer to maintain that state, we nodded furiously and thanked our interviewee for his time.
Newbies! Protect them, love them, they are our future! Heil Newbies!
How often has someone started a forum 'We're Doomed' or 'Where Domed' , and other variations of the announcement 'this website has moved away from my idea of what is funny' ? So what we can do here, but celebrate a clutch of new fully fledged contributors who arrived on our shores, all fresh and well-scrubbed! In recent months, we had Leverage produce articles faster than bindweed, and now he has joined by the likes of MagicBus (an admirer of The Who or a kaftan nostalgic?), news hound Bill Melater, and the ferocious Fakehater, who will rip your arms off if he detects you're a phony. Then there is Murder_Frog, who swears blind he is unrelated to another amphibian. (Evidently the lily pond is big enough for two croakers.) Another newbie who is currently taking a keen interest in Singapore is CDPCCNAC. What the name means, I have no idea, but perhaps he is wise to leave so few clues about his true identity. Then there is our own Mr Tambourine Man, Equilateralperil. Moving closer to the ground, looking for literary earthworms in his search for Sonic the Hedgehog-related stories, is Igotnothing, whilst from the Land of Connery is Dannyboy1209. A noob with ambition, Danny has already asked to become an admin and has nominated himself for everything. With an attitude like that, this one is going places—here, there or everywhere. Who will become the Noobs of Noobs and win something to stick on their bedroom door? The jury is out, and so am I, tonight. Go ahead, check these fledglings out here.
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December 21[edit]
Glad that's out of the way. I saw you on recent changes going over your December 21st page as I was polishing my Festivus page. We do good. Happy every holiday! Aleister 20:39 DecemberSolstice


text:
The IBM® TS4500 (TS4500) tape library is a next-generation tape solution that offers higher storage density and integrated management than previous solutions.
This IBM Redbooks® publication gives you a close-up view of the new IBM TS4500 tape library. In the TS4500, IBM delivers the density that today's and tomorrow's data growth requires. It has the cost-effectiveness and the manageability to grow with business data needs, while you preserve existing investments in IBM tape library products.
Now, you can achieve both a low cost per terabyte (TB) and a
high TB density per square foot, because the TS4500 can store up to
8.25 petabytes (PB) of uncompressed data in a single frame library
or scale up at 1.5 PB per square foot to over 263 PB, which is more
than 4 times the capacity of the IBM TS3500 tape library. The
TS4500 offers these benefits:
High availability dual active accessors with integrated service
bays to reduce inactive service space by 40%. The Elastic Capacity
option can be used to completely eliminate inactive service
Flexibility to grow: The TS4500 library can grow from both the
right side and the left side of the first L frame because models
can be placed in any active position.
Increased capacity: The TS4500 can grow from a single L frame up
to an additional 17 expansion frames with a capacity of over 23,000
High-density (HD) generation 1 frames from the existing TS3500
library can be redeployed in a TS4500.
Capacity on demand (CoD): CoD is supported through entry-level,
intermediate, and base-capacity configurations.
Advanced Library Management System (ALMS): ALMS supports dynamic
storage management, which enables users to create and change
logical libraries and configure any drive for any logical
Support for the IBM TS1155 while also supporting TS1150 and
TS1140 tape drive: The TS1155 gives organizations an easy way to
deliver fast access to data, improve security, and provide
long-term retention, all at a lower cost than disk solutions. The
TS1155 offers high-performance, flexible data storage with support
for data encryption. Also, this enhanced fifth-generation drive can
help protect investments in tape automation by offering
compatibility with existing automation. The new TS1155 Tape Drive
Model 55E delivers a 10 Gb Ethernet host attachment interface
optimized for cloud-based and hyperscale environments. The TS1155
Tape Drive Model 55F delivers a native data rate of 360 MBps, the
same load/ready, locate speeds, and access times as the TS1150, and
includes dual-port 8 Gb Fibre Channel support.
Support of the IBM Linear Tape-Open (LTO) Ultrium 7 tape drive:
The LTO Ultrium 7 offering represents significant improvements in
capacity, performance, and reliability over the previous
generation, LTO Ultrium 6, while they still protect your investment
in the previous technology.
Integrated TS7700 back-end Fibre Channel (FC) switches are
Up to four library-managed encryption (LME) key paths per
logical library are available.
This book describes the TS4500 components, feature codes, specifications, supported tape drives, encryption, new integrated management console (IMC), and command-line interface (CLI). You learn how to accomplish several specific tasks:
Improve storage density with increased expansion frame capacity
up to 2.4 times and support 33% more tape drives per
Manage storage by using the ALMS feature.
Improve business continuity and disaster recovery with dual
active accessor, automatic control path failover, and data path
Help ensure security and regulatory compliance with tape-drive
encryption and Write Once Read Many (WORM) media.
Support IBM LTO Ultrium 7, 6, and 5, IBM TS1155, TS1150, and
TS1140 tape drives.
Provide a flexible upgrade path for users who want to expand
their tape storage as their needs grow.
Reduce the storage footprint and simplify cabling with 10 U of
rack space on top of the library.
This guide is for anyone who wants to understand more about the IBM TS4500 tape library. It is particularly suitable for IBM clients, IBM Business Partners, IBM specialist sales representatives, and technical specialists.


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Sri Lanka captain Mahela Jayawardene praised Ajantha Mendis after the spin magician's record-breaking effort helped beat Zimbabwe in the World Twenty20 opener.
Mendis, 27, capped his return to international cricket after an eight month injury lay-off with astonishing figures of six wickets for eight runs yesterday to shoot Zimbabwe out for 100 in the Group C clash, giving Sri Lanka a convincing 82-run win.
Jayawardene said Mendis was hungry to return after a back injury.
"I am happy with the way Ajantha bowled," said Jayawardene after the match. "Even in the domestic tournament he came back and bowled really well. That was the indicator to see how match fit he was and how much control he had."
Kumar Sangakkara (44) and Jeevan Mendis (43 not out) propelled the Sri Lankan innings to 182-4 after they were put into bat by Zimbabwe skipper Brendan Taylor.
Jayawardene said Mendis's return was a boost to Sri Lanka.
"Ajantha was very keen to get back into the side and we saw that hunger in him. We wanted to make sure that he went through the processes and get his back sorted out, which is why we kept him away for this long.
"He's comeback strongly and hopefully he'll continue to do the job. I am sure he'll have bad days but the quality of the player is that he'll have more good days than bad," said Jayawardene.
Mendis struck two crucial blows by dismissing Vusi Sibanda (11) and Taylor (0) with successive deliveries off his first over. He then bowled Hamilton Masakadza (20) in his next over, taking three wickets in his first two-over spell.
In his second spell, he took four more wickets to best his previous world record Twenty20 figures of 6-16 he took against Australia at Pallekele last year.
Jayawardene revealed Mendis was nervous before the match.
"This was his first game in eight months and he was a bit nervous before the game but he bowled really well."
When asked whether Mendis be as effective against India and Pakistan whose batsmen play spin well, Jayawardene replied: "I'll let you know when we have to play India or Pakistan. Right now Mendo is doing the job for us."
Taylor admitted Mendis has always been a problem for Zimbabwe.
"Mendis has always been a knife in our side. He's a world class performer and he showed that on Tuesday. They were just a lot better outfit and they showed why they're one of the favourites to win," said Taylor.
Mendis said he was happy over his contribution.
"I am very happy that my return to the team was good," said Mendis. "This was my first game, so I was a bit nervous but the confidence given to me by my captain and team-mates helped me a lot."
Zimbabwe play South Africa in Group C on Thursday. The top two teams from each of four groups will advance to the Super Eight stage.


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Hey Dio, nice to see you in the waning days. Mind you, I think Trumps wishy-washy non-effective use of power kind of helps him here. Nixon raised the stakes and got called for it. Trump is kind of playing out the game slowly, dragging along.
Oh, man. Brother, I have a story to tell you. You still log in here?
Oh, it was a pleasure. I had no idea that you also enjoyed sacred music. Of course you don't have to be religious to enjoy it, the St. Matthew Passion was wonderfully written.
glad you took that post as I intended... in good humor. It's the only ointment for hurt pride you know
Thanks, you have no idea how much I appreciate that. She is going to be in some pain for probably over a year now and I have moved in with her. It's a long process but we enjoy the company well enough anyways.
Just caught in a moment of really appreciating a quality opponent. I hope all has been well with you, also hope you got some of that Kingcake last time you were down.. I have been craving some and it is out of season.
Thank you for being here.
I also appreciate you coming back to the board and your participation.
Thanks for the points.
Yea it's seasonal, after the Mardi Gras season they are gone. If you get one stop at a local Rouses, they have the best IMO. We love the Bavarian creme, if you are in the mood for a filling. I also like mine with a glass of milk. But you can hardly go wrong with sugar covered goodness. Safe trip to you.
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Feud? Kanye West Omits Jay Z's Name From Lyrics in Concertby Thomas Chau | PopCrush
Is the Kanye West and Jay Z bromance over?
According to The Guardian, while West performed at the X Games in Austin on June 7, attendees have noticed that he's been altering some of the lyrics in his songs. Not because they contain profane lyrics, but rather, because they no longer mention his 'Watch the Throne' partner Jay Z.
Rumblings began when according to Consequence of Sound, a user on the message board KanyeToThe wrote about West's X Games gig: "First time he [skipped Jay Z's name], I [thought], 'Ehh that's odd, maybe he's just letting the crowd finish it whatever,'" the fan wrote. "Then [Kanye] skipped his name again … Definitely obvious and intentional."
Another example cited was when West sang the lyrics for 'Cold,' he changed "Lucky I ain't had Jay drop him from the team" to "Lucky I ain't had (silence) drop him from the team."
In the song 'Blood on the Leaves,' he also altered "I don't give a damn if you used to talk to Jay Z / He ain't with you, he with Beyoncé, you need to stop actin' lazy" by dropping Jay Z's name and rapping the second line, "You need to stop actin' crazy!"
On May 25, fans were confused when it was reported that Jay Z did not attend Kanye West's wedding to Kim Kardashian and instead, opted to spend Memorial Day weekend at the Hamptons. Rumors suggested that Jay Z and Beyonce were avoiding fashion designer Rachel Roy, who some say was the reason why Solange got in a fight with Jay Z.
Could Kanye still be upset over that?


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Backyard Beehive Starter Kit
- Vendor Shipped
Easy, hassle-free returns online and in-store for eligible items.Learn More
Earn 5% Back in rewards4 plus free standard shipping3every day when you shop with your Williams Sonoma credit card at Williams Sonoma.Apply Now Learn More
- Summary
Raising bees will reward you with delicious pure raw honey and with increased pollination of fruit trees and vegetable plants in your garden. The experts at one of the world's premier beekeeping suppliers have equipped our custom kit with essential tools and clothing you need to successfully manage a hive of honeybees—and harvest their honey.
- Kit includes helmet, gloves, hive tool, bee brush, smoker and feeder.
- Adjustable vented helmet with pocket veil: Cool and lightweight polyester/nylon with a built-in sweatband. Veil has a drawstring bottom and tightly woven netting that works well against gnats and mosquitoes.
- Leather gloves: Soft cowhide leather with sturdy canvas sleeves.
- 9" spring-steel hive tool: A must for beekeeping, this is a mini crowbar used for lifting, prying and scraping the frames.
- 14" wooden bee brush: Long, soft bristles to gently brush bees away from frames and clothing.
- 4" x 7" stainless-steel smoker: Equipped with a guard and easy-pump bellow.
- Boardman entrance feeder: Allows you to use your own Mason jar or #5 round jar for feeding syrup or supplementing water.
- Dimensions & More Info
- Helmet with veil: 13 3/4" x 11" x 5".
- Gloves: Size L with 8" sleeve.
- Hive tool: 9" x 1 3/4".
- Bee brush: 14" x 3 1/2".
- Smoker: 11" x 9" with 4" x 7" barrel.
- Feeder: 5 1/2" x 3".
- Helmet, brush and feeder: made in USA.
- Veil, hive tool and smoker: made in China.
- Gloves: made in India.
- Use & Care
- Hand wash helmet, veil, hive tool, brush and feeding in warm water and mild detergent; rinse and dry.
- Smoker exterior may be wiped clean, if necessary.
- We do not recommend washing the leather gloves.
- Shipping
Shipping Information
This item will be shipped directly from the manufacturer and is not eligible for rush shipping. Please allow one to two weeks for delivery.
Shipping Rates
The shipping rate varies depending on your order total and shipping destination. View Shipping Options and Charges.
Return Policy
At Williams Sonoma, we take great pride in the quality and craftsmanship of our products. Attention to design, materials, safety and construction are our priority. Upon receipt, please inspect your purchase and notify us of any damage; we will arrange for a prompt replacement.
If within 30 days, you are dissatisfied for any reason, you may return your purchase for a refund of the merchandise value. An original receipt or gift receipt is required for all returns and exchanges. Returns with a gift receipt will be refunded in the form of a Merchandise Credit for the amount indicated on the gift receipt. Returns with original receipt will be refunded in the original form of payment, cash and check refunds over $100 will be issued as a company check (may take 14 business days from time of request).
For all cutlery returns (knife sets, single knives, cutting boards, knife sharpeners, and knife storage) please contact us at 888.922.4108 to initiate the return.
We cannot accept returns on monogrammed, personalized, special-order items, custom upholstery, food, items shipped direct from the vendor, or on items damaged through normal wear and tear. Final sale items ending in .97 or .99 cannot be returned.
For returns of items purchased from your Williams Sonoma Gift Registry, we will gladly provide a refund or exchange for the merchandise within 90 days of your event or within 90 days of purchase, whichever date is later. View Full Returns Policy.
Rated 5 out of 5 by OrangeSky from Practical and Top Quality This is an excellent starter set. Each item is top quality and needed for beekeeping. Great product.Date published: 2013-06-09


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good morning
We had a good trip and made it home before 11pm. My meal was great I had sword fish, grilled asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes most of which I gave to Loren. He had fish
I hit the wall this week, that impossible brick wall, that STOP'S you in your tracks.. For 8 months I've been successfully climbing this mountain called obesity, gluttony AND WINNING; however, I
I have struggled and been good and fallen off the wagon many times. This seems to be not only my constant pattern but the pattern of many of us.
Weigh in last night, down .8. I think I need to be drinking more water. Even though they say fluids these days, we all know how important water is. I am making the habit of filling up a water bottle
This all feels so familiar and get new at the same time. Over the years I must have filled dozens of journals, and now here I am back at it. But it feels good. I am finally ready to reclaim what I lost,


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Interior: Leather
Drive Train: RWD
Transmission: 4-speed TH-200-4R Automatic
Vin: 11116D47S7Q325079
Engine: 425 cu in (7.0 L) V8
Mileage: 44,346
Stock #: 325079
Franklin Motors Classic
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These have finally been approved by the National Pressure Ulcer Advisory Panel. The major change is the addition of Deep Tissue Injury (DTI) and "unstagable" categories.
It will take a while for clinicians to learn these new standards, so you may want to print this out to share with your providers.
If anyone would like example photos of some of these, post here and I will see what I can do.


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BIRMINGHAM, Ala.—Despite a 19-point, 11-rebound performance by senior Elizabeth Bromirski, the Birmingham-Southern women's basketball team dropped a close game to Oglethorpe at home Friday evening, losing 71-69 in Bill Battle Coliseum. The Panthers fall to 10-14 overall and 6-7 in the Southern Athletic Association, while the Stormy Petrels move to 5-19 overall and 3-10 in the SAA.
With the exception of an early 2-2 tie, the Petrels led for the entire first half, building up to a 13-point lead, 30-17, with 1:24 left in the frame before taking a 30-21 lead into the halftime break.
The Panthers opened the second half with a 9-2 run to cut it to 32-30, and stayed close on Oglethorpe's heels until the 11:18 mark when they achieved their first lead of the game, 45-44, with 11:18 remaining. OU's Emily Buck hit a three-pointer to take back the lead, and the Petrels held onto a small advantage until the 4:59 mark when BSC tied it up 55-55. Oglethorpe scored six straight points after that, though, to go up 61-55 by the 3:48 mark, but the Panthers wouldn't stay down, rallying back to tie it up yet again, 64-64, with 1:43 left. The Petrels answered with five straight points on a Buck three-pointer and a layup by Ciara Hughes, and the Panthers proceeded to cut it to one, 70-60, with 16 seconds remaining. BSC sent OU to the free throw line with 10 seconds on the clock, where the Petrels missed both shots, and the Panthers grabbed the rebound before turning the ball over with two seconds left. BSC was forced to foul the Petrels again, where they hit one-of-two, and the Panthers were unable to get a shot off before time expired.
Bromirski shot 6-10 from the field and 6-6 at the free throw line to rack up 19 points and 11 rebounds for her 10th double-double of the season. Sophomore Kelsey Brown also recorded 11 points, and Bromirski and sophomore Ashley Curry led with three assists each. Freshman Laura van Peursem led with four steals and two blocks.
Hughes led Oglethorpe off the bench with 23 points, followed by Buck with 19. Ali Bleckley led on the boards with 10 caroms, and Buck and Kyana Jenkins had five assists apiece. Buck also led with four steals, and Bleckley had three blocks.
BSC held the rebounding advantage, 43-41, but also turned the ball over twice more than OU with 15 turnovers.
The Panthers are at home for the regular season finale this Sunday, hosting Berry College at 1 p.m. in Bill Battle Coliseum. It will be Senior Day for Bromirski, the lone senior on this year's squad. Next weekend BSC will travel to Memphis for the 2014 SAA Championship, hosted by Rhodes who clinched the top seed in the tournament tonight with a win against Sewanee. Sunday's game between BSC and Berry will determine the Panthers' seeding; they currently sit at fourth behind Millsaps with a 9-4 mark and ahead of the Vikings with a 5-8 mark.


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I tried the Pace Picante puree added to some tomatos, but that wasn't what I was looking for.Questions: Do any of you put parm in your sauce? Would it be considered overly expensive by a chain restaurant to use it? and here is a stupid question: Would there be any reason to think that parm added to a non cooked sauce (but cooked on the pizza) would taste any different than shaking parm on a slice after it is cooked? Thanks.
I don't know if this is an "Emperor has no clothes" moment or not. But I thought that citric acid was to be avoided if possible. It is not always possible, but to many, those products without citric acid seem to be preferable or at least one step up from those with citric acid. I'm at a loss to figure out why someone would want to add it to their sauce, but maybe there's a good reason.
Neither my dad, nor my mom remember Ken's as being anything special. Just me. It is freeklishly good. The sauce makes it...
The next time the owner of Mazzio's comes through where I work, I'll see about getting you a quart.
If that doesn't work then at least ask these questions:1) Do they use the same tomato base for both the Mazzio and Ken's sauce.2) Is the base the Alto Cucino brand tomato3) Is the sauce anything more than the base and the spice packet.4) Ask him if he has any idea what is in the spice packet, that gives the sauce the "zing"Thanks Amore.
Ya' gotta' love these nostalgia things. I'd love to have a bite of 70's Pizza Hut thin...just for the hell of it. I know it sorta' sucked but it's the same as Village Inn who was so into Birthday Parties and everyone remembers being there. They were always called "Pizza parlors" in the day and visiting any of them as a kid was "Wondemous" ! I'll never discount nostalgia on this site. NEVER!MB


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Choose Hindu Rare Names for boys from our unique and huge collection of Hindu Rare Names for boys. Our ultimate collection of Hindu Rare Names for boys helps you to find the delightful name for your baby boys. Also find baby boys names on Hindu Rare by alphabets and other categories from our easy filtering option.
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Apollo Ink got my job done right and on time. They were also very helpful when in came to finding the design and color scheme to match my budget. Thanks!
Mitch Helble March 26, 2015
Derrick is excellent at what he does and he likes his profession. It shows in his work and energy. I have been going to Apollo Ink for years to get regular refills on our Standard Bike Repair tshirts.
Ryan Kelly March 26, 2015
We use Apollo for all of the print work for our dive trip apparel at Ocean First Divers. If you've been on a trip with us recently, chances are the shirt you love so much came from Apollo Ink.
Chad Koll March 26, 2015
I placed an order with Apollo ink. It took only a week for them to source the shirts and return to me my finished product. No complaints here.
Jim Borchardt March 26, 2015
Apollo Ink is an awesome print shop! I've worked with them a couple times to print jerseys for my hockey team. They gave me good initial estimates and it turned out to be an even better deal at the end.
Charles Stewart March 26, 2015


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text: The SQTS is a rare, sporadic, or autosomal dominant disorder characterized by markedly accelerated cardiac repolarization and manifested by dramatically shortened QT interval, atrial and ventricular arrhythmias, and sudden cardiac death. To date, mutations in potassium (KCNH2 , KCNQ1 , KCNJ2) and calcium channel subunit genes have been identifi ed as causing SQTS. The clinical manifestations of this disorder have been characterized in a relatively small number of families and sporadic individuals, given the recent identifi cation and rare nature of SQTS.


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Filmmaker Who Immersed Himself in Homeless Life as Part of Journalism Job Application Apparently Froze to Death
An up-and-coming filmmaker who had decided to live on the streets for a week to document the plight of the local homeless population was found dead inside a boarded-up hostel just three days after his experiment began.
Though an official cause of death has yet to be released, friends of 26-year-old Lee Halpin believe he froze to death after overnight temperatures in Newcastle (UK) dipped well below zero degrees Celsius (32F).
Halpin, who had an MA in creative writing and was the founder of a magazine on North East culture, intended to use the week-long documentary to apply for a spot in Channel 4's highly competitive Investigative Journalism Program.
"I am about to go and spend a week being homeless in the West End of Newcastle," he said in a video detailing his plans. "I will sleep rough, scrounge for my food, access all the services that other homeless individuals in the West End use. I will interact with as many homeless people as possible and immerse myself in that lifestyle as deeply as I can."
Friends of Halpin, who last heard from him on Sunday when he asked to borrow a sleeping bag, were shocked to learn of his fate.
"He made the ultimate sacrifice trying to raise awareness about what was happening to other people," said pal Daniel Lake.
A coroner's report will be released in the coming days, but local police say they don't suspect foul play.


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On Hiatus
"The red Gyarados is extremely rare. Even the normal Gyarados is hard to find in nature, let alone its color variation. It's bigger, agressive and much more powerful... And no one expects the red Gyarados. It's so unlikely to find one that, when you least expect it, it's already upon you at full force. It takes down even the bravest of explorers. You never underestimate the Red Gyarados."


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Associated Press
Skier visits this season at Vail Resorts Inc.'s seven resorts in California and Colorado and have risen 5.5 percent from last season, with growth picking up through spring break and the Easter holiday, CEO Rob Katz said Monday.
Meanwhile, season-to-date lift ticket revenue, including
some season pass revenue, was up about 10 percent from the comparable period a year ago. Dining revenue was up about 13 percent, ski school revenue was up more than 11 percent, and retail and rental revenue was up almost 9 percent, the company said.
Exact revenues and skier visit numbers weren't released. The results were for the season through April 14 and didn't take into account the reopening of Vail and Breckenridge resorts last Friday through Sunday for one more weekend of skiing and riding after both resorts got hammered with new snow.
The results don't include recently acquired Afton Alps in Minnesota and Mount Brighton in Michigan. Results were adjusted as if Vail Resorts had owned the newly acquired Kirkwood resort last winter too.
Katz said season pass sales for next season are off to a strong start. He didn't release details.
Vail operates the Vail, Beaver Creek, Breckenridge and Keystone ski areas in Colorado; Heavenly, Northstar and Kirkwood in the Lake Tahoe area; Afton Alps in Minnesota; Mount Brighton in Michigan; and the Grand Teton Lodge Co. in Jackson Hole, Wyo.


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Johnson & Johnson heiress Casey Johnson was laid to rest on Tuesday, Access Hollywood has learned.
Sources with knowledge of the situation confirmed to Access that Johnson's funeral was held today in New Jersey.
It is not known who attended her funeral. Johnson was a childhood friend of Paris Hilton, Nicky Hilton and Nicole Richie. She was engaged to reality starlet Tila Tequila.
As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com, Johnson's body was discovered last week in Los Angeles.
An autopsy was performed on the body of the Johnson & Johnson heiress, the daughter of Jets owner Woody Johnson, but the Los Angeles Coroner's office has delayed releasing the cause of death pending toxicology reports.
They are expected to release the cause within 6-8 weeks, but it could take longer.
Related Content from AccessHollywood.com:
VIEW THE PHOTOS: Paris Hilton's Journey From 'Simple' To Superstar!
PLAY IT NOW: Casey Johnson 911 Emergency Call: 'Her Hands Are Turning Blue'
PLAY IT NOW: Casey Johnson On Rumored Dispute With Bijou Phillips (May 10, 2006)
MORE ACCESS ON THESE TOPICS: Casey Johnson - Nicky Hilton - Tila Tequila - Paris Hilton - Nicole Richie


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Part of National Museums Liverpool
Also in this section…?
Liverpool has been officially named a World Heritage Site by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO).
At the heart of this new World Heritage Site is the world-famous Liverpool waterfront.
During the 19th and early 20th centuries Britain was a true world power, and Liverpool was her pre-eminent commercial port. The buildings and structures shown in these photographs reflect that mercantile might. The grand docks, offices, banks, exchanges, warehouses and cultural buildings demonstrate Liverpool's global importance.
Follow the links below to see some of the photographs from the exhibition.
The Stanley Dock tobacco warehouses by Anthony George Lyster.
The Three Graces of the world famous Liverpool Waterfront.
The Royal Liver Building at night.
The interior main hall of the Cunard Building
Underside of the river wall steps
A bronze panel by George Herbert Tyson Smith, Barclays Bank
The former National Bank
The impressive staircase of the Municipal Annexe
A Triton lamp bearer by CR Cockerell and Nicholl
The magnificent Minton tile floor of St George's Hall concert hall by CR Cockerell
The statue of Raphael by John Warrington Wood
The County Sessions House (1882-84) by F & G Holme
All images are © English Heritage.NMR
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Cindy Bressler
A seasoned media executive and strategic thinker, Cindy Bressler blends her business savvy with a strong creative instinct. She is adept at collaborative content creation from concept through production across a range of medium, including television, DVD, books and music. Over the years, Cindy has worked to extend both new and established entertainment properties across multiple platforms. Cindy holds a J.D. and an M.B.A. from Emory University.
Hailed "Best of the best," by Entrepreneur.com along with business partner Lisa Mercurio, the award-winning team is the first to recognize bedtime and sleep as a new marketing, entertainment and wellness frontier. They believe that the secret to a good night's sleep lies in what you do at bedtime. Together, they have created "Bedtime Beats" the music brand, a "Bedtime Beats" series of iHomes and alarm clocks and, they are the founders of BedtimeNetwork.com.
Cindy has a very big dog named "Titan." A gentle giant and "rescue" from Tennessee, his crate is the size of a small condo and he enjoys sleeping there at night. Now that her kids are away at college, Cindy has a lot of extra bedrooms. Formerly an excellent sleeper, Cindy now needs to listen to "Bedtime Beats" every night. At her husband's request, Cindy does not have a television in her bedroom. Cindy relishes the hunt for all things sleep-related and can often be found scouring flea markets, antique shops and home goods stores around the globe for that special something.


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United States Fascism
Fascism is the union of
government with
private business against the People.
"To The States, or any one of them, or to any city of The States: Resist much, Obey little; Once unquestioning obedience, at once fully enslaved; Once fully enslaved, no nation, state, city, ever afterward resumes its liberty."
from "Caution" by Walt Whitman
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Fascism in Chicago under Mayor Rahm Emmanual and his ideological inheritors
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Northbay MDS
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