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Am I gonna get dropped?
August 27, 2012 § 28 Comments
The conversation seems to always go like this. "Hey, Wankster, I'm thinking about doing the Gonadcrusher Ride. Is it pretty hard?"
"Yeah. I guess so. I mean, it depends. We usually stop and regroup."
"So it's pretty fast, huh?"
"It's fast in places, sure."
Pause. "Am I gonna get dropped?"
The angry cyclist
In the past, I always used to say, "You should come out and give it a try. Even if you come off, we'll regroup."
Or if it was the Pier Ride, I'd say, "You might pop off the back, but you can just cut across and hop back in. That's how you get stronger."
I'm not going to say that any more, because the other day I was accosted by a very pissed off dude. "Hey, you lied to me," he said.
"I did?"
"Yeah. The Chokenpuke Ride was way too fast. You said it was a mellow ride, but I got dropped coming out of Dickstomp Canyon. I might as well have ridden by myself. No one even waited."
This dude was actually pissed. At me. "Oh," I said. "I'm sorry."
Then I thought about it. "No. I'm really not."
My new story
From now on, the conversation is going to go like this. "Hey, Wankmeister! I've been thinking about coming out and doing the Ballbreaker Ride. Is it hard?"
"Yes. It's harder than nails and broken glass."
"Oh." Pause. "Do you think I'll get dropped?"
"You'll get spit out the back the minute the pace ticks up and no one will wait for you or hang back to hold your hand or give so much as a flying fartfuck. You'll feel like a worthless pile of dung as you see the entire peloton, including small children, old ladies, and young girls, race away from you. No one will even know you're missing. Or care."
"Gosh. It's that hard, huh?"
"No, not really. But you will get dropped, either because you're weak, or because you lack mental fortitude, or for the OTHER reason."
"The OTHER reason? What's that?"
"The OTHER reason is that everyone gets dropped at some point. Getting dropped is part of road riding if you're going to ride with people who are competitive. But you've built this big cocoon of fantasy around your cycling to protect you from the reality that you're not very good, and so when you get dropped it crushes you because the droppage impinges on your fantasy."
So who's really good, then?
"I suppose you think you're really good, then?"
"I'm not very good at all. Neither are you. Neither are any of us. The only people who are really good are easy to identify."
"Someone pays them to ride their bike. Everyone else spends money to ride their bike, like you and me. It's one of the many ways we know we're not really very good."
"There's tons of guys around here who can kick your ass. It's on all your videos. Are you saying they aren't any good?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying. They are better than you. They are better than me. They are better than lots of people. But they're not good enough for someone to pay them to race."
"Dude, you sure have low self esteem."
"Actually, it's quite high. But I don't need to inflate it with things are untrue. Facts don't lower my self esteem. They raise it, if I'm man enough to admit them. I happen to be a slow bicycle rider who is old and easily beaten by countless people. I still enjoy riding and competing, and you should, too. But you won't."
"How do you know that?"
"Because your main concern is getting dropped, when common sense and simple observation should tell you that everyone gets dropped. Lance got dropped. Eddy got dropped. Some days you just get dropped, and if you're riding with people who are a lot better than you, you'll get dropped every single time."
"That sucks."
"If it does, you should join one of those groups where no one gets dropped."
"Is there such a thing?"
"The ride leader is always some dude with a hairy back and greasy navel, has a little mirror on his helmet, and he polices the ride. He tells you when to slow down, when to speed up, when to do a pace line, when to ease up on the climbs, makes everyone stop at the stop signs, and makes sure that no one ever gets dropped. It's a lot of fun if you like kindergarten."
"What if you just don't want to hammer?"
"Then what the fuck are you doing the NPR and Donut Ride and LaGrange Ride for?"
"It seems like there ought to be some kind of middle ground."
"That's just your way of saying 'I want a ride where I can hammer when I feel like it, but won't get dropped when other people start feeling frisky.' It's just another way of maintaining your fantasy that you're a good cyclist when you're just a bone idling wanker. Anyway, now that the road racing season is pretty much over, there's always a good ride or two going north on PCH. Two by two, steady pace, and good guys leading the ride. You don't have to go out and hammer."
"So you're telling me you like getting dropped?"
"I hate it. But you know what I hate even more?"
"Telling myself I'm really strong when I'm really not. And it's hard to bullshit myself when I'm kicked out the back by some teenage kid."
Long pause. "So, I heard you went down to San Diego and rode with the SPY and Swami's guys again."
"Did you have a good time?"
"It was awesome."
"Did you get dropped?"
"Now that you mention it…I did."
§ 28 Responses to Am I gonna get dropped?
Quit writing about me! ;~)
Perfect Dialogue.
Fucking awesome! Now I feel obligated to jump into the Gruppo VOP ride again. Right off the flippin' back…until Im not anymore!
I know I am weak. I know I am a worthless pile of dung. I know I am a bone idling wanker. If I was stronger, faster, harder I would be hardcore; instead I am Albacore. I will untuck my dick from my mangina and join the group rides. I will hammer, and of course get dropped. After I pick my lungs back up off the pavement I will do it again. Thanks WM. Oh, and another thing, right now I am hungry.
There needs to be a MadLibs version of this to regionalize it, and should be handed to all new and aspiring racers.
I will never get dropped. Ha! Why? Because I'll never get on in the first place. I'll never even make the gloried rank of Wankette. Just an old lady with way too much bike. Used to have a mirror on the helmet (but it kept falling off) and I do stop at stop signs. Never raced, never will. But I absolutely positively LOVE getting out on my bike when I can. I'll ride the same hills you do in twice (or thrice) the time and I'll love it just the same. And I'll never get dropped.
I do enjoy this blog. Makes me laugh out loud, and that's always a good thing.
Jesus! Never mind.
Wasn't jesus. It was Hey Zeus.
If only I had the balls to get on. LOVE this!
Back on a bike since… well… I got my driver's license. I figure I should be doing well because there's two pro cyclists on my bike, except one's not helping and just adding to the dead weight I'm pushing around, though losing bits of it along the road.
My first group ride was mean nasty scary. They just kept hammering and left me in the dust…The two women that were older than myself… Needless to say I've never had a motivation problem since.
Very enjoyable post, and hilarious. Thank you for the excellent work. Nobody gets stronger by staying with the ride. You pick a ride where you will get dropped like a stone, then try to get a kilometer (shorter than a mile, dammit) farther every week. Before you know it …..
Then find another ride that will drop you. Because no matter how hard or fast we ride, finding limits is what this wonderful sport is about.
I was riding in France one year, making pretty good progress up this climb in the southwest region. Old dude rolls up to me, oooold Gitane road bike converted to straight bars (so he could hang grocery bags from them, as he had on this day). We chat a little bit. He was going home, from the local market. I asked him what category the climb we were on would be for the Tour, which had that year been on some of these same roads, and he smiled and said "Fourth!"
Then he dropped my ass.


text:
Original Trinity Hymnal, #292
From Psalm 46
God is the refuge of his saints,
When storms of sharp distress invade;
Ere we can offer our complaints,
Behold him present with his aid.
Let mountains from their seats be hurled
Down to the deep, and buried there,
Convulsions shake the solid world,
Our faith shall never yield to fear.
Loud may the troubled ocean roar;
In sacred peace our souls abide,
While ev'ry nation, ev'ry shore,
Trembles, and dreads the swelling tide.
There is a stream whose gentle flow
Supplies the city of our God;
Life, love, and joy, still gliding through,
And wat'ring our divine abode.
That sacred stream, thy holy Word,
Our grief allays, our fear controls;
Sweet peace thy promises afford,
And give new strength to fainting souls.
Zion enjoys her Monarch's love,
Secure against a threat'ning hour;
Nor can her firm foundations move,
Built on his truth, and armed with pow'r.
Page number: Blue 292, Right-Click Here to Download MIDI File
|© 2020 The Orthodox Presbyterian Church
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What They Are Saying … about the Supreme Court's voting rights decision
What some of the nation's political writers are saying about the Supreme Court's decision on the Voting Rights Act:
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The Supreme Court has stuck a dagger into the heart of the Voting Rights Act. Although the court did not deny that voter discrimination still exists, it gutted the most powerful tool this nation has ever had to stop discriminatory voting practices from becoming law. Those justices were never beaten or jailed for trying to register to vote. They have no friends who gave their lives for the right to vote. I want to say to them, "Come and walk in my shoes."
— U.S. Rep. John Lewis, D-Ga., Special to The Washington Post
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The full magnitude of the Supreme Court's decision in Shelby County v. Holder has yet to be understood, but it is deeply troubling. The inevitable impact will be to weaken voters' rights at a time when election-driven efforts to suppress those rights in certain populations — for partisan political gain — have increased exponentially. It will be more difficult to prevent states from discriminating against voters on the basis of race. State legislators will be encouraged to see what they can get away with, and race-based incidents of discrimination will increase.
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Roberts ended the civil-rights era
The civil-rights era ended June 25 — or at least that's what the historians will say about the U.S. Supreme Court's 5-to-4 decision to strike down Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act of 1965 as unconstitutional. Congress enacted that law — one of the two crown jewels of the civil-rights movement — because blacks were being denied access to the vote through unfair state-imposed tests in the still-segregated South. By striking down that law as an outmoded infringement on states' rights, the court has flipped the rules once and for all: The justices, and not the elected Congress, now decide what remedy is needed to effectuate the most basic right in a democracy.
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It seems to me that it's time for a reality check for those that have a marine tank. Over the last few months, the number of people jumping into the marine hobby has been unbelievable, and the reality check is that well over half should not even have their tank setup yet. Your "learn-as-you-go" approach has set you up for disaster. Ok, now that I have your attention and probably have some of you on the defensive, I'll explain myself.
I read over and over the following statement in posts "The tank has been running for (1-4) months and all is well." The reality is that "all is well" but only so far. A 4 month old marine tank is a very very young tank. Marine tanks are not instantly stable after they cycle, they take time to mature. The fact is, it takes 1-2 years for a marine tank to mature, and even then it is still maturing. I have seen a 1.5 year old reef tank crash, and it was carefully maintained by people who had years and years of experience in the hobby. Starting a single thread and asking a few questions on it and then reading a couple of articles does not constitute sufficient research before jumping in.
When I started my 125gal reef, I joined a forum that was devoted entirely to marine tanks. I posted my plans and then revised them over and over and over again as I received helpful advice. I posted over 750 times in a 1 month period asking questions of one of the most brilliant and most experienced reef keepers in the US. Besides that, I went back through every single issue (2 years worth) of my Tropical Fish Hobbyist magazines and I read the SW Q&A sections entirely along with every article about salt water in them as well. I picked up books, I browsed websites, and I picked brains locally. All in all, I did nearly 2 years worth of research before I put the first drop of salt water in that tank. Now my tank is not yet a year old, but it is doing very well, but I also have the knowledge that I've done things right and that it should continue to do so. I have done the reading and I understand the complexity of the environment contained within that tank. I see something happening and I understand why, I don't have to run to a forum to ask what is happening. In a marine tank, what you do during setup can have an effect 10-12 months even 2 years or more down the road. You need to know exactly what you are doing before you start. Some of you can't even figure out why you have the algae you have in a 1-2 month old tank.
The "learn-as-you-go" method creates a serious danger, it allows you to do something wrong and not have any immediate consequences. This creates a false sense of security, because you may very well have a problem 2 months down the road. Example: You have a 20 gal tank and you look at it and it is crawling with Pods so you think "great, I have a large pod population, I can support a Mandarin." So you go out and buy that mandarin. 4 Months later you have an emaciated Mandarin dead on the bottom of your tank one morning, no pods in the tank and you can't figure out what went wrong. Another example; you have a 1 month old 20-30 gal tank and you see all kinds of algae on the back wall so you go buy a lawnmower blenny to eat it. 6 months later you have a very clean back wall and no lawnmower blenny and you are completely surprised.
This danger also leads to another major problem, that false sense of security and serious lack of understanding leads you to think you know what you are doing and that you have done things right. That confidence leads you to tell others that doing it your way works great. The sad reality is, in a year, you could very well end up out of the marine hobby due to discouragement because your tank has problems that you don't understand and can't seem to fix, and everyone that has followed the pied piper will be in the same situation.
There are those of you here that I applaud, you want a marine tank but recoginze that you shouldn't have one yet because you understand you are not ready for one. There are those of you that have a marine tank and have done all the proper research and preparation, and you will succeed. But, for the rest of you that have done the "learn-as-you-go" method, please, do others a favor and do not encourage them to do as you have done. You may think my examples have been extreme, I assure you, they are not, they are quite real. When we tell you that "nothing good happens fast in a marine tank" we mean it. When we say "stock slowly" that doesn't mean it takes you 2 months to reach full stocking level. My tank is 11 months old now and it is not yet fully stocked.
The unfortunate part of this post is this, too many of you will look at it and say "that's not me, that's not what I've done" when in reality it is you and that is what you are doing. I can only think of 1 or 2 marine tanks started in the last 3-4 months by members of this site that have been done right, and they will succeed.


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From Monday, August 15, bus passengers across North Scotland will see changes to some of their services.
The changes are being introduced to reflect changing levels of use by regular passengers and are intended to help make it easier to commute by bus.
Many of the timetable revisions are minor re-timings to ensure the timetables reflect the running times of services during peak and off-peak travel times.
The changes from August 15 mark the end of the summer services as schools return after their summer break. Service 501 will operate for the last time in 2016 on Sunday 14th August.
From the same date service 62 will begin to serve the Brewdog factory near Ellon to provide workers and visitors a public transport link to the site.
Due to low passenger use some individual journeys will be withdrawn on services from Monday, August 15. The 1755 Elrick - Aberdeen X18, evening services on the X62 and 1956 Kinguissie - Aviemore have all been withdrawn. Local services in Buchan will also see revised frequencies with service 82 now operating every 30 minutes (previously operated every 15 minutes) as well as service 22 now being an hourly service in Inverurie (previously operated every 45 minutes).
Steve Walker, managing director for Stagecoach North Scotland said: "We always welcome feedback on our services and have analysed a lot of our own data to revise the network ensuring reliability is as high as it can be. 2016 has been a challenging year for us with major road works and heavy congestion in both Aberdeen and Inverness disrupting our network. The changes from 15th August will ensure our services remain reliable for our customers in the challenging times we are faced with."
All timetables from August 15 are now available online atwww.stagecoachbus.com as well as in local travel shops in Aberdeen, Peterhead, Elgin and Inverness.