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Injured On Someone Else's Property?
If you are injured on the property of another due to carelessness or negligence, improper maintenance or a dangerous condition, you have the right to make a claim for damages. Businesses owe a duty to the public to maintain their premises in a safe condition, free from hazards to the public. If you are injured in a slip and fall or trip and fall incident, you have the right to seek compensation for your injuries.
You may be injured, you may have questions about "what to do next," and you may not even know where to start. Our Houston premises liability lawyers offer a FREE consultation, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, so call us right now at 800-898-4877, or click HERE to send us a question, or get more information. There is NO cost to get a free consultation right now. If you decide to hire us, you pay us nothing up front, and you will pay absolutely nothing at all unless and until we've won your case.
Why Choose Our Team?
If you are the victim of an accident due to the fact that the property owner did not take reasonable steps to insure your safety (reasonable care), you may be able to recover damages. Premises liability cases can be complex, and there may be several different avenues or strategies available to maximize your recovery. Stewart Guss is an attorney with nearly 20 years experience handling premises liability cases.
- Stewart Guss and his team believe in respect, integrity and family values
- Our attorneys and staff will always be there for you!
- With decades of combined experience, Stewart Guss and his team will work tirelessly to recover as much as possible on your premises liability claim
- Premises liability cases can be complex, and there may be several different avenues or strategies available to maximize your recovery
- And, you don't pay us anything unless we win your case!
Choose an Attorney with Strength and Experience
Premises liability accidents often require more investigation and documentation than other types of injury cases. Also, your case may need an expert witness to help establish your case against the Defendant. Stewart Guss and his team have handled many premises liability cases and they have the knowledge and experience to effectively document and present your claim and recover the maximum damages possible.
Whether you have a slip and fall claim, a trip and fall claim, or any other type of premises liability claim, Stewart and his team will work tirelessly to get you the maximum recovery to which you are entitled. With decades of combined experience in premises liability claims, Stewart and his team know how to seek more for your claim.
If you´ve been injured on someone else´s property, call Attorney Guss and talk about it. Do not sign anything until you speak with us because you risk losing some or all of the compensation that is due to you.
Stewart Guss and his team will do everything possible to obtain the best possible recovery on your claim, and we take pride in treating our clients like family. Pick up the phone and call 800-898-4877 to talk to us about your premises liability, slip and fall, or trip and fall claim. Remember, your consultation is FREE, and you pay NOTHING unless we win your case!
Don´t Take Chances – Let Us Help You!
See what past clients have to say:
Review: 5/5
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
"Stewart Guss Legal Services. Stewart Guss was very efficient in the handling of my case. He explained my rights thoroughly and kept me informed of all negotiations. I would recommend his services to anyone needing assistance with their injury claim."-Janet T.


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This past federal election cycle, I struggled with which party to vote for. At the time the election was called, I had been a card-carrying Conservative for 10 months. I had always thought of myself as being Liberal, but recent late night political discussions with friends over pints of beer had me concluding that I was less of the fiscally conservative Liberal I had always thought myself to be, and more of a socially liberal Conservative.
Then the election cycle started, and the more I started reading about what Harper and the Conservatives had in store, a.k.a their not-so-secret agenda, the less I was enthused about being a socially liberal Conservative. Yes, there were some aspects I still agreed with, reforming the age-old relic that is our Senate for example, but then the other issues started oozing out: abolishing the long-gun registry, and shoving an omnibus crime bill down our throats; a bill so costly to the Canadian taxpayer and so unnecessary that it gave the term "where's the beef?" a whole new basis for existence.
I was faced with some very serious introspection: Why had I been so up and ready to leave the Liberal camp? I had voted Liberal in every provincial and federal election since I had turned 18. As I tried to answer this question, I thought of all my friends and acquaintances that were staunch NDP supporters. Surely, none of them would have turned their back on their party as I did.
I have a friend who I went to CEGEP with who was an adamant NDP supporter during the election, often inciting her Facebook friends to rally the troops and vote NDP. I admired her conviction. (My all time favourite status update of hers, read something like "Voting for Ignatieff to stop Harper is like chewing off your arm to save your leg.")
Yet, even after it was clear to me that I was going to vote Liberal, I still did not have the same gusto as many of my NDP counterparts, the above-mentioned friend included. I knew I couldn't be alone in this boat, so I turned to the friends that I knew were going to vote Liberal. Why weren't they out there rallying the Liberal base, inciting people to vote for Ignatieff? After all, none of us questioned Mr. Ignatieff's competency. He was a brilliant man, aptly capable of running our country.
So, why were we deafly silent? The answer to this is somewhat multifaceted in nature, although the primary reason appears to be that there are a vast number of closeted Liberals, especially amongst my generation. It is hard for us to come out and say we do not have the optimistic idealism that is shared by the NDP, nor do we have the persistent zeal that is sustained amongst the Conservatives. The Liberals are more or less the "meh" party. Not so left and not so right, just nicely fit into the Goldilocks zone of political centrism.
But isn't that a good thing? In a political landscape that is increasingly seeing far pushes to the left and to the right, shouldn't more people be proud to come out and say they represent the middle? Well, now interim leader Bob Rae is trying to get the Canadian people out of the Liberal closet and do exactly that.
By instituting an American style primary voting system, the Liberals will be doing away with a structure that consistently picks party insiders, most of whom are out of touch with the Canadian people. Visibly, the last two leaders of the Liberal party, Stephane Dion and Michael Ignatieff, did not have the voter appeal that was needed. Sure, they were both inspiring academics that were very well published in their respective fields. Too bad the Liberals weren't trying to fast track a professor to tenure at a research-based university. They're trying to run a country. Replacing one professorial man with another isn't really going to shake things up.
There are obvious potential caveats to the open primary system, but right now, with a party backed up against a wall with no place else to go, there aren't really a multitude of options. I applaud Mr. Rae for having the bold initiative to think outside the proverbial box.
So, this is my coming out party. Much like Diana Ross in 1980, I'm coming out, I want the world to know, and I want to let it show. My name is Supriya Dwivedi and I am coming out of the Liberal closet. I can only hope you will do the same.

subset: commoncrawl


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An evening of imagining possible futures in light of climate change predictions.
Venue: Toynbee Studios
28 Commercial Street
A climate scenario is a collective act of imagining a possible future in systems involving both humans and nature. They have played a prominent role in climate research, policy and communication. However they tend to be dominated by the natural sciences and economics.
The Paris Agreement set a target of limiting average global temperature increases to 1.5°C. What does a climate scenario look like which takes this ambitious goal into consideration?
The evening was dedicated to imaginative responses to Future Scenarios. The audience hear from the team who developed the Climate Change in Residence programme and the four artists who embarked on the first experimental year-long networked residency on the topic of Future Scenarios. They were: Emma Critchley, Lena Dobrowolska, Teo Ormond-Skeaping and Zoë Svendsen.
The audience was invited to consider a range of climate-changed futures and to create their own best-case or worst-case future scenario.
This event was supported by The Open University OpenSpace Research Centre, The University of Sheffield School of Architecture, The Ashden Trust, Jerwood Charitable Foundation and the Grantham Centre for Sustainable Futures.
This event is part of the#2DEGREESFESTIVAL. Tickets are £5book your ticket


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by Joanna Chambers
Genre: Historical M/M Romance
David Lauriston is struggling to build his reputation in Edinburgh's privileged legal world. His humble origins are enough of a hurdle, never mind his recent decision to defend a group of weavers accused of treason, prompting speculation that he may harbour radical sympathies. The last thing he should be doing is agreeing to help the brother of one of the convicted weavers find the government agent who caused his brother's downfall.
David's personal life is no more successful. Tormented by his forbidden desires for other men, and the painful memories of the childhood friend he once loved, David tries his hardest to live a celibate existence, castigating himself whenever his resolve slips.
But then—into David's repressed and orderly world—bursts Lord Murdo Balfour.
Cynical, hedonistic and utterly unapologetic, Murdo could not be less like David. Whilst David refuses to entertain the prospect of entering into a loveless marriage for propriety's sake, Murdo is determined to wed one day—and has no intention of giving up the company of other men when he does so. But as appalled as David is by Murdo's unrepentant self-interest, he cannot resist the man's sway.
Murdo tempts and provokes David in equal measure, distracting him from his promise to find the agent provocateur responsible for the weavers' fate, and forcing him to acknowledge his physical desires.
But is Murdo more than a mere distraction?
Is it possible he could be the very man David is looking for?
Two years after his last encounter with cynical nobleman Lord Murdo Balfour, David Lauriston accidentally meets him again in the heart of Edinburgh.
King George IV is about to make his first visit to Edinburgh and Murdo has been sent North by his politician father to represent his aristocratic family at the celebrations.
David and Murdo's last parting was painful—and on Murdo's part, bitter—but Murdo's feelings seem to have mellowed in the intervening years. So much so, that he suggests to David that they enjoy each other's company during Murdo's stay in the capital.
Despite his initial reservations, David cannot put Murdo's proposal from his mind, and soon find himself at Murdo's door—and in his arms.
But other figures from David's past are converging on the city, and as the pomp and ceremony of the King's visit unfolds around them, David is drawn into a chain of events that will threaten everything: his career, his wellbeing, and the fragile bond that, despite David's best intentions, is growing between him and Murdo.
David Lauriston has been recuperating at Lord Murdo Balfour's Laverock estate for the last five months. At Laverock, he has regained his health and confidence and has found—with Murdo—more happiness and contentment than he has never known before.
David is all too aware that some day soon he will have to leave Laverock—and Murdo—and return to his legal practice in Edinburgh, just as Murdo will have to return to his life in London. But when David's mentor, Patrick Chalmers, asks David to return to Edinburgh to visit him on his deathbed, it seems that day has come sooner than either David or Murdo would have wished.
Chalmers begs David to undertake one last piece of business for him: to secure the future of Chalmers's daughter Elizabeth. But to carry out his old mentor's wishes, David must travel to London, with Murdo.
No sooner have the two men arrived in the capital than they encounter Murdo's ruthlessly manipulative father, who reveals a shocking secret that rocks David to his foundations. What's more, when David discovers Elizabeth is facing far greater danger than even her father feared, he is determined to help her, no matter the cost to his own safety.
As the stakes rise, it is Murdo who must choose what he is prepared to sacrifice to keep David at his side, and ask whether there is any possibility of lasting happiness for men like them.
Provoked (Enlightenment #1)
Beguiled (Enlightenment #2)
Enlightened (Enlightenment #3)
This book had such a rich content, if one can call it that. The historical setting is down to its finest details, I feel as if I'm transported back to the 1800s with the usual snobbish aristocrats and social niceties. The romance between the characters isn't well develop yet, but I'm liking what I'm getting now. It seems like a precursor to something beautiful later on. There also also an underlying story arc about the government vs radicals and the heroes appear to get tangled in the midst.
David Lauriston came from a humble background and now a fresh faced advocate trying to make a career for himself. David is a honorable, humble and kind hearted man. I guess he is the best kind of boy next door you can find. I find his gentlemanly behavior oddly endearing. Although most of the time he felt low like dirt among the aristocrats, he still put his best foot forward and stand firm for his own believes.
Lord Murdo Balfour is the classic rake who isn't ashamed to get what he want, propriety be damned. Balfour's jaded view in life and wanting to seek pleasure seems to disgust David to no end. Anyway, their view are so different that I bet they find each other intolerable, but sometimes, opposite attracts and all that.
There are a handful of steamy encounter between these two and even without them getting down and dirty, their mere presence together seems to bring up the intensity a few notch. I know Balfour's page time was quite limited and I find myself anticipating his every next appearance, but the story had enough going on that I didn't find that there is any lull in the book.
The ending is wholly unsatisfying simply because there isn't even a HFN. Thus, I find myself already reading the next one, while trying to type out this review.
Provoked was good and set a solid foundation for the story arc and the relationships between all the characters. But Beguiled is step up a notch further with an exquisite romantic development between David and Murdo.
It had been a two years gap since they last meet each other at the ending of Provoked, but only a 2 minutes gap for me. Their unexpected reunion seems rather charming with them being nice and social towards each other. I can see both men had grow much since their last bitter parting. Murdo seems less sarcastic and more genuine. I wish I can get into his head and know what is running through his mind. Instead of his tendency push and provoke David, this time around he is more caring, more accepting of David's reservation. To me, Lord Murdo is a force to be reckon with and David is a putty in his hands.
David is still as honorable as ever and I like that he still stay true to his beliefs. Despite the society pressure, he still stand firm to remain single and hurt Elizabeth's feeling, the young woman he met previously. David is so admirable that he still feel protective and guilt over her demise. Although the idea of a woman feel like a third wheel in the story, I find that I actually intrigue with her's story and hope she can find her own happiness. It might even come in the form of a certain radical.
Beside the swoony romance that took place, there is a hint of danger with the cloak and dagger stuff that David engage with in order to save a certain damsel in distress. Too bad Murdo always not being told what the hell is happening, but man, he is so quick on his feet and responded perfectly to all the crazy on goings.
I still have much pending books to read, but I can't help other than to read the whole trilogy in one go. This Enlightenment series might just turned out to be my favorite historical M/M romance. Hopping off the next one.
I'm sad to say that my journey with David and Murdo had ended. After less than three days, I finished all three books and now I'm cursing myself for reading them so fast. I should savor it slowly like fine wine.
This last book is the best among the series, simply because the romance is taking off, get ready to be swoon over by Lord Murdo and we finally got the HEA that we crave. I'm sure everyone already in love with Murdo, but this time around, Murdo is getting even more lovable. Can the man be any less perfect in my eyes? Murdo finally shows us his weakness and vulnerable side and he isn't afraid to make big sacrifice for the man he loves.
I know David is a such a martyr and his self righteousness might grate on some nerves, but I actually admire him for who he is. Although it didn't appear as he had a lot to give as compare to Murdo, I don't mind that because a relationship doesn't need to be tit for tat. David just to be there standing by Murdo's side and supporting his decision and I'm satisfy.
Looking back at Book 1 and witnessing the changes between these two heroes, I just warmed my heart. David used to be living in a state of perpetual guilt and reservation due to his proclivities, while Murdo is happily sinning his way to hell, both men from such different status and morale ground, but ultimate came together wanting the same happy ending.
Joanna Chambers always wanted to write. She spent over 20 years staring at blank sheets of paper and despairing of ever writing a single word. In between staring at blank sheets of paper, she studied law, met her husband and had two children. Whilst nursing her first child, she rediscovered her love of romance and found her muse. Joanna lives in Scotland with her family and finds time to write by eschewing sleep and popular culture.


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Indeed, from events of late it appears that Mike Singh has been placed in a position where he can gorge at will from choice slices of the public pie. And gorge he has.
Just recently, Mike Singh's name emerged from the south of Belize in a distinctly shady light. Documents were brought to light which proved that Singh benefitted financially from the sale of land to Royal Caribbean which was to have been used for a cruise tourism facility. Wearing the cap of CEO in the Ministry of Tourism, Singh was in a position to carry out negotiations with Royal Caribbean. And wearing his cap as businessman and land speculator, he created a financial windfall for himself. The only holdup to the cruise tourism deal came when residents of Placencia protested en masse, but by that time Singh was already laughing all the way to the bank.
Now revelations have emerged from the recent tender operator fiasco and again Singh's name has been called. As CEO in the Ministry of Tourism, he was in a position to hold meetings and carry out negotiations with cruise tourism operators and it is believed that there is no way he could not have known or been involved in the move to axe local tender operators. That speculation was given wings after reports that Singh was up to his neck in the new company slated to take over from tender operators, and in fact one of his companies, Btalco, had already brought in two new catamarans into the country.
In response to a query about Singh's involvement in the matter, the prime minister would say only that whoever wanted to know that would have to ask Singh themselves.
And Singh has yet to raise his mouth from the public trough. As the head of Beltraide, he is now in the position to offer any of the companies in which he is involved lucrative concessions and incentives. Who wouldn't want to be like Mike, who really does seem to be willing to eat anything in his path.
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Batman Forever star Chris O'Donnell has revealed that a spinoff movie featuring Robin was planned in the 1990s.
The actor, who also portrayed the Caped Crusader's sidekick in Batman & Robin, told Access Hollywood Live that the idea was scrapped when Joel Schumacher's second film bombed.
"They were going to do [a Robin film] back in the day, and then the second one we did was such a bomb, they were like, 'Scrap that'. That was the end of that," he explained.
O'Donnell also revealed that he was offered the lead part in Men in Black before Will Smith joined the project, but did not go into specific details about why he passed on the role.
Batman & Robin was the fourth in the Batman series that began with Tim Burton's 1989 film. The movie sparked a backlash from fans and critics, influencing Warner Bros to reboot the series.
A third Schumacher-helmed film titled Batman Triumphant was also scrapped due to Batman & Robin's reception.
Watch a trailer for Batman & Robin below:


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There was not an exact match for the language you toggled to. You have been redirected to the nearest matching page within this section.
Matglede offers well-tasting food in a cosy atmosphere.
Enjoy a lunch from 11am - 4pm, after 4pm tapas and evening meals are served. The main courses follow the season and the chef's ideas.


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Product description
These Nedis® Wi-Fi smart personal scales* instantly show your weight. Since your health is determined by a lot more however, these smart scales also measure fat, BMI, bone, muscle, water and protein levels.
The scales recognise the data and store them in the right account.
The app supports 8 accounts in total, making these scales perfect for your entire family. They provide a perfect solution to monitor the health of loved ones who just aren't very handy with apps: they only need to step on the scales and you can check their data afterwards, when and where you like.
The app also keeps track of clear graphs over longer periods. This makes it easy to detect weight changes, which could indicate health issues. Or to motivate you to hang on to your diet as your target weight is coming within reach.
* Not to be used by pacemaker users
• Works with intuitive, clear app – no hassling with changing views or accounts on the scales
• Supports accounts for 8 persons
• Saves data automatically to the right account
• Shows graphs of various parameters measured overtime
• Comprehensive body analysis – weight, BMI, metabolic age, fat, water, bones, muscle and protein levels
• Easy to integrate in your Nedis® SmartLife system
• Clear, digital, blue-lit display
Package contents
|Personal scales
Quick start guide


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We have a brilliant selection of gifting ideas to inspire you at IRIS from luxe items for someone special to cosy cashmere accessories, unique bath and beauty products and gorgeous gifts for the little ones.
Call us: 020 8747 3597
Free Standard Delivery on orders over £200
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Specializing in the design and production of custom scientific glassware, ASG creates pieces for these applications:
Whether you need a standard item or a complex, one-of-a-kind piece, our experts can help. Your concept can be turned into reality or, if your current glassware is not meeting your expectations ASG can redesign it to better suite your individual needs.
Precise custom glass work requires not only expertise and design capabilities, but the right equipment and materials.
We work with a vast inventory of borosilicate and quartz materials, including:
ASG utilizes a variety of equipment, including:
Whether your custom glassware needs include complete turnkey from development through production, or simply the manufacturing of an unusual piece, Allen Scientific Glass can help.
The ASG designers and glassblowers are constantly creating innovative, high-performance products to solve particular usage problems.
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Ascension takes place in a Russian Space Station at night. The map will be in black and white until you turn on the power. You can find the Power Switch on the top floor of the main building. You start of the game at the bottom floor of the main building.
Along with Zombies are special enemies called "Space Monkeys." Space Monkeys are pretty fast and extremely hard to hit because of their size. The higher the round, the more Space Monkeys there will be. They will flood into the map like ants. Space Monkeys come every few rounds after a Perk is bought. After you kill them all, they will drop a Max Ammo Power-Up, just like Hell Hounds. Space Monkeys don't attack players right away. Instead, they will latch on to Perk-A-Cola Machines and take your Perks. They only attack the Perk-A-Cola Machines you and your team bought from. It takes a few seconds, but the perk will be stolen after touching the machine. If you can kill all of them before any of them touch a machine, you will earn a brand new Power-Up which gives you and your team a random Perk-A-Cola.
Mystery Box[edit]
The Mystery Box is available on this map and will always start right next to the Power Switch. After a few uses, the Mystery Box will move to a new location on the map. Look at the TV near the Mystery Box spawn locations to see the location the Mystery Box is currently at.
Two new weapons are added to the Mystery Box. The weapons are called The Gersch Device and Matryoshka Dolls. The Gersch Device replaces your Special Grenades and sucks zombies in like the Ghost Busters. The Matryoshka Dolls replace you Special Grenades and explode multiple times like a cluster bomb.
Two new Perk-A-Colas have been added to Ascension: Stamin-Up and PhD Flopper. Double Tap Root Beer cannot be found on this map, which means there are five Perk-A-Colas in Ascension, yet only four can be bought at a time. Stamin-Up allows you to run for a longer period of time. PhD Flopper prevents you from taking any fall damage or explosive damage, you can even cook a grenade in your hand. If you dive off of a high spot, you will cause a small explosion that can kill any zombies around.
The Pack-A-Punch Machine is back again, but it requires a few steps to gain access. First, you must use the Lunar Lander from all three locations to the main building. Second, you must press a launch button right next to the Power Switch, this will launch the missile from the launch pad. Now the Pack-A-Punch area will be open underneath the launch pad. The area will stay open for the rest of the game.
Power-Ups that are unique to Ascension include:
For a list of Power-Ups available on all maps, view the Power-Ups page.
Traps and Devices[edit]
Along with the color, the power activates all the Perk-A-Cola Machines, Traps, and a new transport called Lunar Landers. The traps on Ascension include Fire Traps, which act exactly like the Electric traps from past map, and Automatic Turrets. The First traps cost 1000 Points while the Automatic Turrets cost 1500 Points. Each use lasts 30 seconds and has a 90 second cool down period.
The new Lunar Lander transport act a bit like teleportation pads. There are four platforms around the map which holds the Lunar Lander. The Lunar Lander starts in the same room you start at. After the power is activated, you can call a Lunar Lander to one of the other platforms. If a player is on the Lunar Lander while it's being called, they will be transported across the map on the Lunar Lander. If a player doesn't call the Lunar Lander to a new location, you must buy a trip for 250 Points. The Lunar Lander will always lead back to the starting position if you buy a trip. After the Lunar Lander reaches it's destination, you must wait 30 seconds for the Lunar Lander to refuel before using it again. If you stand underneath a Lunar Lander while it's landing, you will be downed instantly.


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Contact Us
Marketing and Financial Prospects of Development Bank Managers. A Diagnosis of Nigerian Agricultural Cooperative and Rural Development Bank – Mac Layton, D. W, P.U.C Agundu and A.S. Abu, Rives State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt
Information Technology in Supply Chain Operations: Ugboma, C.C, G.C. Emeghara; C. Ikeogu and O. Ugbonna FUTO, Owerri.
Business Process Reengineering and Systemic Productivity Enhancement: Lessons from Nigeria's Old Generation Banks, Okwandu G.A; P.U.C Agundu and S.O. Nwulu; Rivers State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt, Nigeria.
Ethno – Veterinary Practices in Po Disease Prevention Control BY Fish Farmers in Niger State, Nigeria, Bolorundur P.I; O.C Jegede and A.I. Annatte National Agricultural Extension and Research Liaison Services, Zaria, Nigeria.
Rehabilitation Engineering: the Design and Development of A Prosthetic Device for A Lower Limb Amputee Using A 4-Bar Link Mechanism Iwuoha S.I; Federal University of Technology, Owerri Imo State, Nigeria.
Merchant Bank's Fortunes and Structural Challenges of Universal Banking In the Port Harcourt Business Environment, Agundu P.U.C; A. Masa; and J.I. Onyema Rivers State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt.
Information Communication Technology In Nigerian University Libraries: The Challenges of the 21st Century, Ogugua J.C and N. Emerole.
The Impact of Informal Financial Institutions on Community Development in Igede Area of Benue State – Adagba Okpaga, Benue State University, Makurdi
Assessing The Impact of Railway Restructuring In Nigeria, Ibe C.C and I. C. Ogwude Federal University of Technology, Owerri.
Strategic Promotion and Bank Services Delivery: Operational Finance Constraints and The Way Forward – Agundu P.U.C; G. A. Okwandu, and S. Lawson, Rivers State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt.
Empirical Analysis of Labour Market Demand In Nigeria – Olusoji, M.O. and N.O. Magbagbeda NCEMA Ibadan and ECOWAS, Abuja.
Project Management in Port Harcourt Based Micro Business Organization: A Strategic Inflation Concentric Analysis. Jaja S.A; P.U.C. Agundu and M.U. Ekediri, Rivers State University of Science and Technology Port Harcourt.
Nigerian Educational Research for Sustainable Development: Problems and Challenges, Ikoro F.N. NINLAN ABA.
Multinational Companies and Joint Venture Investment Management Strategy: A Contemporary Diagnosis of Nigeria's Oil Sector – Okwandu G.A.; P.U.C. Agundu and C.N. Achigbu – Rivers State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt.
Project Management in Port Harcourt – Based Micro Business Organizations: A Strategic Inflation Concentric Analysis – Jaja S.A; P.U.C Agundu and M.U. Ekechi - Rivers State University of Science and Technology, Port Harcourt.
When All is Not Waste: An Examination of Economic Benefits of Waste in Nigeria – Olori P.E; S.G. Odewunmi and Tayo Odumosu, Lagos State University, Ojo.
A Socio-Biological Analysis of Resource Control Issues – Nnadi E.I; Alvan Ikoku College of Education, Owerri.
Poverty of Parents and Child Labour in Benin City: A Preliminary Account of its Nature and Implication, Edith Osiruemu, Delta State University, Abraka.
The Role of Barbing Salons, Pedicure and Manicure Centres in the Spread of HIV/AIDS in Lagos, Nigeria: A Case for Media Intervention – Popoola I.S. University of Lagos, Lagos.
Efficacy of Roxazyme – G on the Utilization of Yam Peels by Weaner Rabbits – Nwakpu P.E. and P.N. Onu, Ebonyi State University, Abakaliki.


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1. death - noun
· the event of dying or departure from life; "her death came as a terrible shock"; "upon your decease the capital will pass to your grandchildren"
Hypernym(s): change, alteration, modification
Antonym(s): birth
2. death - noun
· the permanent end of all life functions in an organism or part of an organism; "the animal died a painful death"
Hypernym(s): organic_phenomenon
3. death - noun
· the absence of life or state of being dead; "he seemed more content in death than he had ever been in life"
Hypernym(s): state
4. death - noun
· the time when something ends; "it was the death of all his plans"; "a dying of old hopes"
Antonym(s): birth
5. death - noun
· the time at which life ends; continuing until dead; "she stayed until his death"; "a struggle to the last"
Synonym(s): last
6. death - noun
· the personification of death; "Death walked the streets of the plague-bound city"
Synonym(s): Death
7. death - noun
· a final state; "he came to a bad end"; "the so-called glorious experiment came to an inglorious end"
Synonym(s): end, destruction
Hypernym(s): state
8. death - noun
· the act of killing; "he had two deaths on his conscience"
Hypernym(s): killing, kill, putting_to_death
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- Home
- About Vivid
- Latest Books
- In the News
- Custom Publishing
- For Booksellers
- Contact
Boys and the "f" word
Pascal Rohan
BOYS and the 'f' word comes jam-packed with ideas and strategies to help you increase both your awareness and your effectiveness in being with boys. It is an experience-based, hard-hitting, action-oriented work designed to assist parents be more gutsy, firm and connected in their parenting. It helps teachers think about boys in ways that propels re-energised and re-organised teaching and it ensures better grades. It encourages boys to be strong, "gentle-men" as opposed to eternal, boorish "bush-pigs".
Inside The Book
Fact 1 Boys move through predictable developmental phases
Fact 2 Communication – you can stuff it up and you can get it right!
Fact 3 Teaching is a relational reality
Fact 4 A brat is not necessarily a brat
Fact 5 Boys' exaggerated behaviour is usually a protective cover
Fact 6 Stinking thinking leads to stress
Fact 7 You can move those mountains of sh** – homework & organisation
Fact 8 Anger – it can be good, it can be dangerous – your choice
Fact 9 Depression and self-esteem – you can raise them both
Fact 10 Actors and reactors – they separate the boys from the men
Fact 11 When the going gets tough you need resilience
Fact 12 Atticus Finch got it wrong!
Fact 13 Fear and Risk – you need these experiences!
Fact 14 Little pricks discriminate and are unhappy
Fact 15 Boys can tell adults what works and what doesn't in terms of communicating with them
Fact 16 Boys can be educators (1). A group of angry boys can be positively powerful and a group of socially withdrawn boys can become effective communicators
Fact 17 Boys can be educators (2). Boys can conduct informative parent evenings
Fact 18 Medusa, the pet snake, aids therapy
Fact 19 Teachers know what works and what doesn't in educating boys
Fact 20 This wellbeing model for schools, works!
Appendix: Photocopy Materials
Pascal began his working life as a primary teacher. He later lived in Europe for four years, studying and teaching. Back in Australia, this was followed by nine years of working with youth, in both club and school settings. Pascal has worked at four large secondary boys' colleges where his work has included: nine years of teaching in the subject areas of English and Psychology and eighteen years as senior counsellor. He has also been a sessional lecturer at the University of Melbourne in the Faculty of Education, teaching in the Masters of Education, Diploma of Education, and the Graduate Diploma of Educational Studies (Student Welfare) programmes. He is currently employed at a boys' secondary college as Director of Student Wellbeing and conducts his own private counselling practice in inner Melbourne. Pascal's educational qualifications include: Diploma of Teaching; Bachelor of Arts (Criminal Justice Administration); Graduate Diploma in Adolescent Health; Advanced Diploma of Gestalt Psychotherapy; and Master of Counselling. He is a member of: the Victorian Institute of Teaching; Gestalt Australia New Zealand; and the Psychotherapy and Counselling Federation of Australia.
Author website: www.prohancounselling.com


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Nuclear Blast recently announced the signing of Swedish up-and-comers Bullet, whose boundless love to 80s Heavy Metal led to the band's founding a decade ago.
The band commented on their signing with Nuclear Blast, Finally we have signed a deal with Nuclear Blast! We've always been a band with a lot of ideas and now it's time to let them all loose. We think Nuclear Blast is the right label to help us out to make better records, cooler shows and more of everything that you've come to know as Bullet. We are really looking forward to releasing a new album on Nuclear Blast, because it is a great chance for us to reach new crowds and countries. Bullet will always be Bullet, hate it or love it. Now is the time to make it more powerful. STAY WILD!
On the part of Nuclear Blast, the pleasure is great as well. We're highly delighted to welcome Bullet at the Nuclear Blast family. The boys of Bullet aren't only downright likeable and honest guys, they also live their music and embody the original spirit of Rock'n'Roll. Bullet are superb on their albums as well as live on stage and we're noticing a constant development. Now we want to vault the ´Highway Pirates´ into a higher division, states Andy Siry, head of A&R.


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Cognitive Training
BrainWare SAFARI is award-winning software that incorporates decades of multidisciplinary clinical techniques into an engaging video-game format to develop 41 cognitive skills in the areas of attention, memory, visual processing, auditory processing, sensory integration and reasoning/logic. For ages 6 to 106.
Cognitive Assessment
The BrainWare Personalized Assessment and Learning Plan can help a parent or teacher understand how a child learns and provides specific strategies for them to use at school and at home. The strategies are easy to follow and are based on each child's personal learning profile. For ages 8 to 21.
Learning about the Brain
Brains On Professional Development programs use a neuroscience-based, brain-compatible approach to help teachers and trainers learn and use brain-compatible practices to foster deeper and more enduring learning. Workshops, webinars, and online courses explore topics related to the brain and learning for parents, clinicians, educators and others.
Experience engaging, evidence-based cognitive development
Supported by a knowledgeable and caring team
Our Vision
We envision a world where every child and every adult has the ability to succeed academically and in life because they have developed the cognitive capacity to do so.
Many of the jobs of the future have not even been imagined yet. It is not possible for our education system to train future workers for specific jobs because we simply don't know what those jobs will be. In order to be successful in the jobs of the future, our children and their children after them will need to be good thinkers and problem-solvers, to have cognitive flexibility and strong powers of observation and analysis. They will need to be effective learners because they will have to learn their jobs to do them.
We expect to play a significant role in this process by developing, sourcing, offering and supporting the best programs that address brain fitness, cognitive skill development, and the practical application of neuroscience to the teaching and learning process.
What We Believe
We believe that education and economics are two sides of the same coin. Improving the educational performance of students is vital to realizing their economic potential. This is especially true for students who come from economically disadvantaged backgrounds, who are being educated in a language other than their native language, and students who have learning disabilities. We believe that the educational performance gaps for these students can be closed by closing the cognitive development gaps that make learning a struggle and hold many back from achieving their potential.
We believe that building the best brain training software requires the contributions of multiple disciplines. We work diligently on integrating the fields of neuroscience, education, the practice of clinical therapeutic disciplines, and workforce development. We then combine this expertise with the best practices of technology and gamification to offer powerful, flexible, engaging and effective tools to improve learning.
We believe that the human mind can be developed to a greater degree than most people have generally understood with the right kind of comprehensive cognitive skills training.
How We Work
The goals each individual has for his or her cognitive well-being and growth are different. Therefore, in addition to being effective, brain training programs need to meet a variety of expectations. Programs for children need to be flexible enough to fit into already overcrowded school schedules. Brain fitness programs for adults need to encourage sustained interest and enjoyment, as well as challenging a broad range of cognitive skills.
We evaluate our own cognitive skill-building programs and those developed by the partners we select based on three important factors. First, the program we offer must work on cognitive skills relevant to a broad spectrum of the population. Second, they must be supported by peer-reviewed published research and ongoing studies that demonstrate not only their impact on cognitive ability but the transfer of those improvements to things that matter in real life, including academic performance and workplace and life success. And third, they must be scalable and affordable, based on user-friendly technology.
We work hard to live up to our standards of doing what we say and saying what we do. Improving cognitive skills can be hard work. There are no silver bullets. Each brain is unique and each individual's experience with our programs will be different. We know we have made a real difference when we see our clients encounter new learning experiences with greater enthusiasm, confidence, and satisfaction.
A picture is worth a thousand words – visit our Video Gallery.
Make some new neural connections!
An easy way to get all the latest on brains and learning.


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I am not really surprised that so many leaders question their own value and contribution to their organization. Over 20 years ago, author Pauline Clance wrote about her interviews with highly successful business leaders in which they reported feeling like frauds in their work (imposter syndrome). Despite all evidence to the contrary, these leaders were sure that sooner or later, they would be discovered as fakes and their gig would be up.
Self-esteem or the belief that we are competent, capable people is something that we can only give to ourselves. It cannot be bestowed by others (despite their best efforts). Everyone experiences bouts of low self esteem and for leaders it can even be a greater challenge as you are constantly being deluged by conflicting information, time pressures and the necessity to make timely decisions that impact the operations of your business and the success of your staff.
Building and maintaing self esteem can be enhanced by remembering to focus on several key activities. Try some of these out and see how they work:
- You are what you think: Pay attention to the self-talk you say to yourself. If your thoughts start getting negative then turn them off and say something positive. The technique is known as "thought-stopping" and there is a satirical video done by TV psychologist Bob Newhart in which he demonstrates this technique .
- Use affirmations: While most of us are quick to give ourselves criticism, we are slow to acknowledge our successes. Give yourself a little bit of the credit you deserve for a job well done and hold that positive thought in your mind. Consider writing down your successful affirmation and posting it in a place where you can see it during the day.
- Avoid negative people: Stay away from Debbie Downer. People who promote negative ideas will help you generate them in yourself and around your organization and after hearing negative thoughts and ideas, they will begin to infect your thinking as well
- Focus on your strengths: There are things that you do better than others and there are things that others do better than you. Avoid the comparisons and instead understand your strengths and how they work best for you. I recommend the book "StrengthFinders 2.0" as an excellent tool for beginning to understand your strengths. In my workshops individuals and teams make amazing discoveries about how to leverage their strengths.
- Be proactive As a leader, your job is to plow the field ahead of your team so that they can do their job more easily. Nothing builds self esteem like winning and focusing on what you can do as a leader to make other's successful will help them gain and help you feel like a million bucks.
Enjoy the moments when you see your success and savor the victories of your hard work. Each small step will continue to grow your confidence and self esteem


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The red asterisk ( * ) indicating required fields has been around our digital interfaces so long, it's one of those things you take for granted, like the anachronistic floppy disk for "save", or the magnifying glass for "search". It's easy to forget that somewhere along the line, it was a choice that someone made.
In recent years, people of the internet have been pondering over the use of our spiky little friend, the asterisk, in web forms. They have been asking the question: "do we actually need this thing?"
The alternative to indicating required fields is indicating optional fields. This is commonly indicated by explicitly writing out (optional) for every optional field. Like the asterisk, the (optional) marker has also been around forever as a pattern in web forms; it is similarly ubiquitous.
The arguments for marking only optional fields with (optional) are that:
- Spelling out the text (optional) makes it more clear for users what they need (or don't need) to do.
- Marking required fields may actually subconsciously influence users to skip optional fields.
- You don't need a legend describing what (optional) means.
- There's less red, which makes for a subjectively calmer form experience.
- Marking fields (optional) will be cleaner when most fields are required.
- It forces the designer to consider: do I really need to provide so many extra options?
So, with that in mind, here's the design proposal for Required Form Fields in PatternFly:
Our recommendation is to mark only optional fields, using the word "optional" (see Design A1 below for how this looks). If a majority of the fields are optional, then you may mark required fields instead (Design B1), but just be aware that if you use both approaches across different forms, it makes for inconsistency in your designs.
If all fields are required, this can be indicated implicitly by disabling the Primary (Submit) action until all fields are filled out (Design A2).
Conversely, if all fields are optional, you have the choice to remove the optional markers, and indicate the fact that the fields are optional implicitly by always enabling the Primary (Submit) action (Design A3).
Design Options
Design A1
Mark only optional fields. Use this approach by default.
Design A2
When all fields are required, indicate this implicitly by disabling the Primary (submit) button.
Design A3 (Edge Case)
When all fields are optional, you may drop the optional markers and indicate optionality implicitly by always enabling the Primary (submit) button.
Design B1 (Alternative approach)
Mark required fields. You may use this approach when a majority of the form fields are optional.
Thoughts, comments, concerns? You have the option to comment on this post.


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"I can't wait to spend my wedding day up on a ladder hanging lights!"
Said no bride. Ever!
That's why our prices INCLUDE: programming, delivering and installing your lights.
We'll climb the ladders. You hang out with the girls and get ready!
How Can We Help?
Room Uplighting
Transform the appearance of your party into a magical and unique space with 10 wireless uplights and two pinspots!
You totally don't need uplighting
You also don't need...
a photographer
or food
But since you're having those anyway…
Uplighting is the most affordable way to transform your ceremony or reception space. It's not for everyone, but it might be for you. Here's why...
A beautiful result:
Transform your reception
for less than $25/hour
A bigger visual "bang for the buck" than chair covers or other decor and lighting solutions
The latest equipment – brilliant colors, no color separation
LED lights remain cool to the touch, so there's no danger to curious fingers.
An easy addition:
No new vendors – one deadline, one request form
Managed by your sound rental company, so you'll confirm lighting plans at your final consult.
Set up by a dedicated tech so your party stays on schedule.
Yes! We have wireless battery operated uplighting
Transform Your Head Table with
Head Table Uplighting Accent Package
: This package contains three wireless ADJ Mega GoPar 64 uplights and is perfect to accent a head table of 8 people or less. It will also work great for a sweetheart table. Draw everyone's attention to your table and make it the focal point of the room. Choose any color you want.
Rental Rate: $99.
Price includes delivery, set up and pick up when included with a sound system rental.
Head Table Essential Accent Package:
This package contains eight wireless ADJ Mega GoPar 64 uplights uplights to completely transform your head table with back lighting and under table lighting. This is an amazing effect that will make the head table pop!
Rental Rate: $199
Rental includes programming lights for your color choice, delivery to your venue, set up and pick up when added to any sound system rental!
Elegance Room Uplighting Package:
This package contains 8 wireless ADJ Mega GoPar 64 uplights and 2 bar led lights for room color washing and two wireless pinspots to accent your cake or anything else. A total of 12 lights! Choose any color you want.
Rental Rate: $249,
when added to a sound system rental.
Price includes delivery, set up and pick up when included with a sound system rental. ($349 without )
Ideal for weddings of 100 people or less. Need more lights? Ask us for a custom quote!
Show off your Cake with Pinspot Lighting
Don't let that multi-hundred dollar cake go unseen!
We've seen hundreds of weddings where the biggest, fanciest and most expensive cake goes unnoticed because the venue doesn't have appropriate lighting in the area where the cake is placed. Our pinspot lighting, will eliminate this from happening.
You can rent these from NGS and we'll program the lights, deliver and set them up and then pick them up at the end of the party. Priced as low as $39 installed!
DJ Party Light Rentals from a locally owned Colorado Company
Light up your dance floor with our one of our proven
DJ Party Light Packages!
Mega Dance Package:
Add to the fun when you rent both the Mini-Kinta and the Swarm and one
ADJ Mega Go Par64s
They will light up the dance floor,change colors in time with the music and completly transform the dance floor into a party. These are proven lights that are guaranteed to help bring people out to the dance floor.
Rental rate
$119 and includes delivery, set up and pick up.
Mini Kinta Package Rental:
Dim the house lights and get the party started with these proven lights and stand. Two
DJ MegaGo Par 64
color wash lights and one
Chauvet Mini Kinta
will make the dance floor come to life. This rental comes with its own Ultimate Support Light stand, Perfect for 75 people or less. Far larger parties get two!
Rental Rate: $79 and includes delivery, set up and pick up.
Swarm Package:
This is the same system as the Mini-Kinta package except we upgrade the light to the amazing Chauvet Swarm 5FX. The Swarm in one of the most amazing dance lights available today! See what it can do for your party here:
Swarm 5FX
Rental Rate: $99 and includes delivery, set up and pick up.
Rent Two of these packages for $189.
A la Carte DJ Light Rentals
Mini Kinta:
You can't go wrong with the incredibly popular and proven
Chauvet Mini Kinta
A compact LED effect light that projects bright, countless & colorful beams using high-power red, green, blue, and white LEDs. It fills the room with eye-catching effects! It is a fun light that can be added to the speaker stand that comes with your sound system rental. This light is guaranteed to transform any smaller dance floor.
It is only a $29.99 add on
and that includes delivery to your venue and set up as well as pick up!
Chauvet Swarm 5FX:
Add three killer effects to your dance floor with a single Chauvet
Swarm 5FX
LED lighting fixture. A pair of lasers at the center of the Swarm 5 FX scatter thousands of red and green beams and patterns about the room, as a rotating LED derby effect tosses out innumerable dancing dots of vividly colored light. Framing it all is a set of eight ultra-bright white strobe LEDs, which add a ton of energy into the mix. This is a proven light!
Rental Rate: $49.99
with free delivery, set up and pick up when you combine it with a sound system rental.
Add a
ADJ Mega Go Par64s
to your sound system rental. They will fill the dance floor and change colors in time with the music. They look great by themselves or pair them with the Mini Kinta or Swarm for a truly spectacular effect.
Rental rate: $29.99 each
Add a Light Stand
for an additional $24.99 per stand.
Dance floor Lighting and Uplighting Rentals in Colorado Springs!


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Rivera perfectly content with decision to call it a career
NEW YORK -- Though Mariano Rivera's numbers are gaudy right now, and perhaps even beyond his own expectations, there is no changing his mind, no change of heart about retiring at the end of the season.
"No chance, no chance," Rivera told MLB.com during a brief interview in the Yankees' dugout on Monday night at Citi Field before the Yankees lost to the Mets, 2-1. "Zero chance."
In case you were wondering.
Rivera, who holds the all-time record for saves, with 626, seems like a first-ballot lock for the National Baseball Hall of Fame when he's eligible in 2019. He said that Trevor Hoffman, the guy right behind him, with 601 saves, should go in first. Hoffman is eligible in 2016.
"Why not?" Rivera said. "He certainly deserves it."
Rivera's return from surgery on his right ACL and blood clots in that leg certainly are what legends are made of. Going into this week's four-game Subway Series, the last of his storied 19-year career, Rivera was a perfect 18 for 18 in save opportunities.
About a third of the way into the season, those 18 saves are more than the total amassed by 28 of the 30 clubs. The Pirates have 22 and the Yankees have 20. Five clubs have half or less of the total recorded by Rivera, who will be 44 on Nov. 29.
He appears ageless, and in the mind's eye, it seems as though he can just keep right on pitching. It is the rare athlete who goes out on top of his game.
Jim Brown, the Hall of Fame running back for the Cleveland Browns, immediately comes to mind. But Brown retired at the age of 30, in 1966. The previous season he had 1,544 yards rushing and 17 touchdowns.
"I've had no regrets," Brown said years later of the decision. "In fact, I have the opposite of regret. I'm so happy I was able to make that choice."
Rivera seems equally as comfortable. Instead of a Chipper Jones-type farewell tour around Major League Baseball, Rivera has opted to keep his goodbyes low-key and discreet. During his first visit to every town and ballpark on the road, he has met with a group of handpicked season-ticket holders and personnel working for the opposing club.
On Monday, a group of 18 -- 14 men and four women -- met with him hours before the game in the middle of the Jackie Robinson Rotunda. The setting couldn't have been more apropos.
Folding chairs were set up in a circle in front of the giant blue 42, the number worn by the late Brooklyn Dodgers infielder and by Rivera himself. Rivera was granted dispensation to continue wearing the number when it was retired for good throughout baseball in 1997.
When Rivera calls it quits at the end of the season, he will be the last 42.
Robinson, who passed away in 1972 at the age of 53, famously said that "a life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."
Rivera continues to be a living, breathing legacy to the massive importance and impact of Robinson's life.
"I always am blessed, thank God," Rivera said in the dugout. "After the injury we worked hard, but in the end it paid off. It has been wonderful. The people have been wonderful."
It is a testimony to Rivera's character and personality that he is being honored throughout the Majors by fans who have watched him shut down their own teams. In Cleveland he met drummer John Adams, who has kept a steady beat in the bleachers for many years. On Monday he was asked by a longtime Mets employee what it was like to watch Mike Piazza hit the deep fly to center at Shea Stadium that ended the 2000 World Series in favor of the Yankees.
Rivera said it was an honor to be remembered by so many fans.
"It doesn't matter. I'm going to the fans because they are fans of baseball, first of all," he said. "They are baseball fans. Obviously, they are fans of their team, whoever we are playing, like the ones here. They are Mets fans. But they respect the game, and they respect what you do."
Robinson abruptly retired after the 1956 season when the Dodgers tried to trade him to the hated Giants. In contrast, Rivera seems to be having a blast as he finishes his career.
No matter how perfect his performance, it's his choice alone to determine the moment when he will don No. 42 no more.


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This simple cage drinker includes a specially designed 2 litre bottle which gradually trickles water down into the trough. The drinker is made from plastic with a long lasting stainless steel trough. to set this drinker up, the green plastic base should be twisted to fit into weldmesh with 1" x 2" or 1" x 3" holes. It can also be fitted to weldmesh with 1" x 1" holes, but you will need to make a cut into the wire.
Trough dimension: 40m w x 50mm l x 15mm d bottle dimensions: 270mm h x 115mm w x 90mm d
Your browser may not meet the minimum requirements to view YouTube videos. Please refer to this document for more information.
Product code: DR0071
Delivery cost is calculated according to weight and your delivery address in order to give you the best value for money.
We endeavour to deliver within 7 working days (excluding weekends and Bank Holidays). Deliveries may take longer for for made to order items and during busy periods. Our carriers deliver Mon-Fri (excluding Bank holidays) from 07:00 to 21:00 hours. A signature may be required by the driver or postman, if you are not going to be at home you can leave instructions at the checkout stage for the package to be left in a secure place or with a designated neighbour.


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A Simple Gluten Free Flour Blend
A gluten free flour blend that tastes delicious and works cup for cup in most recipes
Oh, gluten. I used to absolutely love it.
I never once thought that it might be wreaking havoc on my body!
Eating gluten was like breathing. Everyone was doing it. It seemed essential to survive in this culture…or any culture, really! (Is there a culture where gluten foods are not the norm? Seriously, if you know of one, I'd love to do more research on it!)
I was oblivious and HIGHLY out of sync with my own body.
And then a blessing in disguise happened. I started. packing. on. weight. Seriously.
My first year of marriage was also my first year of teaching. I loved my job, I loved my husband, but life was busy, and quite frankly, very different. I snacked and ate prepackaged foods during the day to "keep up my energy" to keep up with a room full of 1st graders all. day. long.
My new hot husband had (HAS! STILL! HOW?!) a very high metabolism, and when he ate, I ate. And we went out to restaurants because it was convenient and it was fun and we could because we were both working.
Fast forward a year and I was very unhappy with how I was feeling and looking.
The weight was kinda bumming me out. A lot. And eating to keep up my energy was a total lie. It made my energy worse. I was exhausted every day.
So, I got serious. Insanely serious. Like, literally, I ordered Insanity from Beach Body and woke up at 5am every morning to workout 6 days a week for 60 days before heading to my job. Looking back, I don't even know how I did that.
But I was getting stronger. I was getting fitter. Yet I was still really struggling to lose the weight. After the 60 days, I had only lost 6 lbs. 6! 6?! Seriously? Yeah.
I knew muscle mass was there, and apparently weighs more than fat (thanks, sweet husband, for trying to encourage me with that). But I was super depressed! No one wants to work THAT hard THAT early and barely see any pay off.
So I researched more and I started looking into metabolism stuff.
This led me to a complete reboot with food: an elimination diet.
The elimination diet was HARD for me. Thankfully my super awesome, high metabolism husband did it with me so it was a tad bit easier…but still.
We went 3 weeks without things like coffee (GASP! NO!), eggs, dairy (yeah, that means no cheese), grains, tree nuts, seeds, sugary vegetables (didn't even know that was a thing), potatoes, soy…you get the idea. I thought I'd starve.
But something crazy happened. My body started to feel SO much better. I didn't even know how terrible I felt before! I had always had painful digestion, but I just figured EVERYONE felt like they ate a handful of glass shards after eating. I thought that was just…well…digestion. (Guess what? It turns out that's not normal).
After the initial three week detox, we spent another 3 weeks reintroducing foods.
Drum roll, please.
Gluten was the biggest culprit of my discomfort. That gluten was a beast.
(PS. coffee was fine. I know you were wondering. I totally drink coffee again. It's ok).
That's how my journey began.
Gluten free.
Oh my goodness.
Things got tricky trying to relearn everything about food! It was really hard at first and it was really confusing. Not to mention, it was really exhausting.
Also, prepackaged gluten free foods are EXPENSIVE, and when I started, much less available than they are today.
So I had to make everything. Because I refused to live without things like bread. Just, no.
Over the next years I learned a TON from other people on living a gluten free lifestyle.
I'm now 7 years into my gluten free journey, and I've come a long way. I've found a few tricks and tips that make it much more doable and have massively simplified things for me. I hope that you are able to find some useful tips if you are dealing with gluten sensitivities yourself, or love someone who does.
I know it can be hard.
But you've got this.
Food should be enjoyable, nutritious, and tasty, no matter what dietary guidelines you need or want to follow!
So, without anymore of this serious background word vomit, here's the recipe I'm dying to share!
It started so much more complex. However, I have narrowed down the ingredients so that it's much more accessible, cost effective, but still works (duh, that's a must). It is definitely my favorite blend.
If you want my free label for your own container, along with the recipe, get that HERE: Gluten Free Flour Recipe and Label
- 6 cups brown rice flour
- 2 cups potato starch (NOT potato flour. Don't use that.)
- 1 cup tapioca starch (or flour. This one is the same thing. I know, confusing!)
- 1 T xanthan gum
- Mix all ingredients together and store in an air tight container
- I use a recycled protein powder container that fits all of this. I measure the flours, starch, and gum directly into the container and then shake the heck out of it
- Done
- Note: this flour blend is excellent 1-for-1 in regular recipes for things like cakes, muffins, biscuits, pancakes, cookies, and scones. It does not work as a direct 1-for-1 with breads or pastries.


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Spine Center Of Excellence
Dr. Giordano and Dr. Nachwalter perform their procedures at Morristown Medical Center in Morristown, New Jersey, a Spine Center of Excellence. This facility is one of only a few hospitals to earn this distinction from the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations (JCAHO). Our doctors were instrumental in establishing Morristown Medical Center as a recognized center of excellence in spine surgery. This was a hospital and doctor effort to improve the care of spine patients through the establishment of a team approach to care. There is a dedicated spine unit with a dedicated nursing staff. It is an ongoing patient-centered process that is evaluated and re-certified every 2 years by JCAHO. This ongoing process ensures that our patients continue to receive the best care possible.
To be a Spine Center of Excellence, a facility must encompass:
- Excellent equipment. The equipment must be state-of-the-art operating instruments including microscopes and the latest technologies available, include instrumentation used for spine surgery. The facility also needs to include proper recovery rooms and patient rooms to allow postoperative care to be of the highest level.
- Excellent personnel. The personnel required at a Spine Center of Excellence must include anesthesiologists, nursing staff and surgeons of the highest caliber. The facility's operation must anticipate that surgery is being performed with a great enough frequency, allowing anesthesiologists, nursing staff and surgeons to all work in a coordinated fashion providing the highest level of care.
Dr. Giordano and Dr. Nachwalter helped create the Spine Center of Excellence at Morristown Medical Center making it one of the few facilities in the United States to earn this distinction.
Choose a Spine Center of Excellence for the highest level of care. To meet with one of the fellowship-trained, board-certified spine surgeons at Atlantic Spine Specialists, request a consultation or call our orthopedic office in Morristown, New Jersey at (973) 971-3500.


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ankylo- Also anchylo- and ancyclo-.
Bent or crooked; stiff or fixed.
[Greek ankulos, crooked.]
Ankylosis (sometimes anchylosis) is abnormal stiffening and immobility of a joint due to fusion of the bones; ankylosing spondylitis is an inflammatory disease of the spine that often causes it to bend forwards; ankyloglossia (Greek glōssa, tongue), also called tongue-tie, is an impeded motion of the tongue. An ankylosaur is a Cretaceous dinosaur (literally, 'crooked lizard'). The spelling ankylo- is now the usual one.
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text:
BOOTCOVERS MADE SIMPLEby Sarcasm-hime
Non-stretchy method:
1. First find a pair of shoes or boots that have the shape of sole/heel/front that you want.
2. Now get some muslin or cheap fabric and cut two pieces the rough size of the finished boot. Leave extra for seam allowance, just in case.
3. Wearing the shoe/boot, place one piece of fabric on either side of your leg and start pinning, making seams down the front and back. Make sure the seams are straight and that the fabric hugs your leg (unless you're making an oversized boot).
Once you've got the boot shaping correctly, mark where the seams are (on both sides) with a pen, and also mark where you want the bottom of the cover to be along the sole. Make sure to make a few registration marks so you can match up the two sides accurately later. Now remove the pins.
4. Use the muslin as a pattern for your good fabric (do a mirror image for the other leg, of course). Sew along the front seam and the very bottom of the back seam, then insert a zipper for the rest of the back seam.
Alternately, if you want a zipper along the inside of the leg, you can sew up the back seam normally. In this case you'd want to modify your pattern piece for the inside of the leg; cut vertically where you want the zipper, and add seam allowance.
5. For the bottom, you can turn under the edges and glue or sew it to the shoe, for a permanent cover, or make a bottom piece for a removable cover that the boot slips into like a sock (use something non-slip for the bottom!).
To make the bottom piece, just stand on a piece of paper (or muslin) and trace around the bottom of the shoe, then cut out with seam allowance. Then sew to the bottom of your bootcover, matching up seamlines. It's best to use something non-slippery and durable for the bottom. All-in-one covers with bottom pieces work better for shoes that don't have separate heels, as these complicate matters. For shoes with a heel, you can either leave a hole in the cover for the heel to go through, or reproduce the shape of the heel and include that as part of the cover (a bit more complicated).
You can also hold the cover on with elastic that goes under the shoe, although this isn't as secure and you'd need to stiffen the bottom edge so it doesn't gape open or flip up.
Depending on the stretchability of your fabric and the shape of your shoe/boot's toe, you may have to put in a couple of darts at the very toe.
Stretchy method:
Follow the first few steps of the non-stretchy instructions, but instead of using muslin, either use some scrap stretch material, or just cut out big enough pieces of your good spandex. Pin in the same way, but make sure to stretch the fabric over your leg so the finished cover won't be loose.
Sew both seams as you won't need a zipper in the back as long as your fabric has enough stretch. For the bottom, most people make a sole piece so that it works as a sock over your shoe, but you could also make it a permanent cover.
Other info:
To make a chunky-looking boot, you can sandwich a layer of foam or padding between two layers of fabric (for my Mage boots I used the muslin pattern as the inside layer, then padding, then outer fabric).
It's possible to make covers without a seam down the front of the foot, but you'll need to do it in two pieces. For example my Lipumira boot covers have a separate piece for the front of the foot. The seams are hidden by the contrast appliqué which was sewn on by hand after assembling the boots. K'ehleyr is the same; there is a separate part that covers the join between foot and leg.
To cover shoes that don't extend past the ankle, you can get away with no seam in the centre front, but it helps if you have material that's slightly stretchy - or cut it on the bias (the diagonal of the fabric grain).
For glueing fabric or pleather to shoes, get some Shoe Goop or Barge at a shoe repair store. It's nasty, stinky stuff but it holds really well. To sew things to shoes (or anything else where you can't easily get at the back side), a curved needle is essential. Some quilting stores carry them, as well as upholstery stores.


text:
The Midwest |
by Michelle Hart
George was rich. He was an investment banker, which Caroline hadn't known was a real job performed by real people. It was something men did in movies. Assuming she could look past his being Japanese, Caroline's mother would love him. He lived in a two-bedroom apartment by himself on Central Park West. In fact, he owned the apartment outright. Caroline was, at first, turned off by his wealth, but then he explained, off-hand and humbly, that he sent a sizable portion of his paycheck to his parents, who lived in a tiny apartment in Queens. He wanted to make his mother's life easier, which Caroline admired but couldn't fully comprehend; Caroline wanted her own mother to make her life easier. It was intoxicating to be around someone so committed to his family, and who was, presumably, making them proud.
"I don't know if that's true," he told her over dinner. He had taken her to Per Se. They sat at a two-topper in the corner near a fireplace. It was stiflingly romantic. She'd heard girls at Vassar, where she went to college, say that dating a man who could take you to Per Se meant you'd made it.
Caroline had met George on an online message board, a website for which she worked as a "fansubber," translating and subtitling obscure manga and anime for public consumption. She liked to do this while unwinding from her day job translating documents for a manufacturing company. The translator was the most important link in the fansubbing chain, and since she was fluent in Japanese, Caroline acted as both the translator and the editor. This gave her a great deal of renown within the forum. At times this felt a lot like fame. Without her, people wouldn't get what they wanted, and it had been so long since she felt capable of satisfying someone. Namely, her mother.
George had messaged her one day. He thanked her for her work. She received messages all the time from male fans, but they were usually salacious or solicitous right away. George complimented only her work. That was all she ever wanted, for someone to acknowledge her work. It was all there was. It was everything. She had graduated a semester early from Vassar and spent a year teaching English in Japan, and when she arrived back in America, she got a full-time job with a salary and benefits—this just a few years after the financial collapse—as a Japanese translator. Her mother seemed not to notice all this. She only ever asked Caroline if she'd met a man.
George was thin and balding, but he emanated a kind of enticing melancholy, as if, despite his wealth and success, there was something he couldn't quite do, some deficiency in his character. Caroline felt his paucity in her own bones.
"I know how you feel," she said now, because that was what she had wanted to hear from someone. "Every time I even think about my mom I feel like I'm letting her down."
"How is that possible?" George said.
"A daughter who was top of her class in high school, graduated early from a reputable college, taught English in Japan, and became a foreign language translator in New York freaking City." It felt so unnatural to praise herself that she had to look away. "I'm not what she wanted."
George put his hand on top of hers. He said, "Well, if she doesn't want you," and let the heat of his hand finish the rest of the sentence.
Caroline was born in Leawood, Kansas, a suburb outside Kansas City, which was technically in Missouri. Before she was born her father played for the Royals; his last season was the year of her birth. He worked a few seasons as a special assistant to the general manager before being promoted to the coaching staff. Caroline grew up surrounded by baseball. She spent much of her childhood sitting by the field at Kaufmann Stadium. Her father being a part of the baseball team made her popular among the kids in her classes, especially the boys.
As she got older, the boys became interested in girls who didn't know as much about sports as them. Struck by a loneliness that felt very sudden, she found solace only in Japanese anime, which she had discovered by accident, flipping through the channels on a listless day. In her isolation, she began to feel physically and emotionally misshapen, and Japanese cartoons reflected this weirdness back to her in a comforting way. Soon she became interested in Japanese culture. She checked books out of the library, including books on the language. She discovered that Kansas City was actually the sister city of Kurashiki in the Okayama Prefecture of Japan.
Caroline's mother was encouraging at first. She was glad that Caroline's extracurricular interest had academic value. But before long Caroline's mother began to worry that Caroline would never give it up. Caroline loved her mother; her mother existed, Caroline thought, in the Platonic realm of womanhood. Of course, the more her mother pushed against her interest in Japanese culture, the more allegiance Caroline felt towards it. She was a teenager. She continued reading about life in Japan, and about the Japanese experience in America. At dinner, she lectured her mother about the internment camps, and the Anti-Jap Laundry League.
She became more interested in math, which brought her back to baseball. She learned the formulas for calculating batting average and slugging percentage. She'd sit by the field or in front of the television and keep her own scoresheet.
When she got to high school, she signed up to be the manager and statistician for the girls' softball team. She fawned over the captain of the team, a senior pitcher. In manga and anime, it was common for a younger girl to fall for the best athlete or the head of the class, and Caroline worried that she had filled her head with too much fantasy.
She got perfect grades and taught herself Japanese on the side. Vassar offered her a full scholarship. She was excited to study the language formally. Her mother thought of the language as silly little pictures, and said that Caroline was basically getting an Art degree. Before she left for school, drunk for the first time ever on wine, Caroline told her mother that she'd had a crush on the pitcher of the softball team.
Her mother laughed. "Are you telling me you're a lesbian? Do you even know what a lesbian is?"
Caroline felt sheepish. It was a legitimate question. "Duh," she said.
"I knew a lesbian once," her mother said. "She had a man's haircut and wore men's clothes and drove a truck. I don't think you're a lesbian."
Caroline thought, Maybe she's right. And then Caroline went to Vassar.
At the end of her sophomore year she enrolled in the exchange program at Ochanomizu University, which was an all-women's college in Japan. It was Vassar's sister school. She met a girl there. The girl was boyish, and Caroline hoped the girl's boyish appearance meant Caroline was straight. When they kissed Caroline shoved the girl's ring and index fingers between her legs and held it there with her thighs clenched, so that it felt like a very thin penis. They hid their relationship from everyone. Caroline realized at some point that the girl made her happy, and almost as soon as Caroline realized this, it went away, like a beautiful shell you see in the ocean but can't grab before the tide removes it.
Caroline returned to the states and told her mother.
"This again," her mother said.
"Our feelings were very strong for each other," Caroline said. "And we could not tell anyone."
"Caroline, please. You sound like a robot."
"I'm doing so well in school. There's a chance that I could graduate early. Why does this matter?"
"It's embarrassing."
"Don't be such a June Cleveland." Caroline had heard the girls at Vassar referring to their mothers this way.
"It's June Cleaver, honey. From Leave It To Beaver, the American television show. Maybe if you hadn't been so obsessed with another culture, you might have learned something about this one."
Caroline did eventually graduate early from Vassar. Afterwards she returned home to Leawood. The air felt placid and suffocating. Often she wandered alone into midtown Kansas City, into Columbus Park, which housed the city's Vietnamese population. Each bite of banh mi told her to leave home. She looked into teaching positions in Japan; some of her friends at Vassar had taught English abroad.
She stayed in Tokyo for a year, teaching English to eager Japanese students. They seemed to know the English almost as much as she did. She spent her free nights in the Shinjuku Ward, which pulsed with strange desires. As the end of her teaching post approached, she felt a sense of dread. The prospect of returning to Leawood again depressed her. She loved the fast-paced city life of Tokyo, the hustle and bustle, the anonymity and the insanity. It felt okay to be lonely there. It occurred to her that the only place in America like Tokyo was New York City.
A few nights before Caroline left for Manhattan, her mother followed her around the house, sulking and sighing. Her mother began to cry, and said, "I'm proud of you, I hope you know that." Seeing her mother in this state—apologetic and proud—made Caroline consider canceling her plans to move away. In this moment Caroline saw the twelve-hundred-mile distance between Kansas City and New York City as unfathomable. "I don't want to lose you forever," her mother said.
Caroline felt compelled to embrace her mother in a way she hadn't since as long as she could remember, but something in her mother's voice stopped her short. The fear of loss that Caroline originally assumed was remorse was the expression of disappointment, an anxious disavowal of Caroline's desired lifestyle. Her mother was less worried about losing her to the geography of Manhattan than she was losing her to the culture of Manhattan.
For the first few months in New York, Caroline felt liberated and rebellious. She saw why so many movies took place here. She couldn't, however, shake her mother's disappointment. She felt it from twelve-hundred miles away. She felt it on her morning commute. She felt it when she showered. She felt it at the Highline, at Chelsea Market, at Union Square and Columbus Circle. She felt it most when she saw a beautiful woman, of which there were many in Manhattan. She dreamed of speaking to these women, of knowing them, but she had the sense that any female affection would be dulled by the lack of her mother's.
It surprised Caroline how much she thought about George when she wasn't with him. They texted each other frequently: in the morning, throughout the day, when they got home from work. Once, he texted her from his parents' apartment in Queens. His mother liked to watch Friends and complain about how frivolous the show was, how the characters could afford to be silly and happy all the time because they were white. She liked to watch Seinfeld too and complain about how it was impossible for Asian people to be so outwardly unlikable. Caroline thought that watching these shows with George and his mother and hearing his mother berate the characters' privilege would make for a nice life.
Because George often worked seventy hours a week, they got together only on weekends. Caroline would bring her translation work to George's apartment and he would sit and watch her, fascinated by her and her ability. He told her this with some combination of fatherly astonishment and veiled prurience. At night, he would insist on taking her out. Despite having a large, flat-screen television, he wanted only to watch movies in the theater. Despite having a dining room—a dining room in Manhattan!—he wanted only to eat at restaurants. He seemed to feel as restless in his two-bedroom on Central Park West as she did in her studio on the Lower East Side.
Sometimes in this restlessness he urged her to put her work down and go out with him during the day. After learning that she'd never been to the Museum of Natural History, he all but shut her books and dragged her outside. "It's right here," he said. "It's right here." He paid fifty dollars for admission. Caroline said, "I thought it said 'optional.'"
They walked side-by-side for two hours, never once touching. He took her through the Hall of Biodiversity and the Hall of Gems and the Hall of Birds of the World. He took her through the Hall of Advanced Mammals and the Hall of Primitive Mammals. He took her to the Hall of Asian Peoples. She tried hard to conceal the feeling of falseness that swelled within her. She was a white Japanese translator in the Hall of Asian Peoples on a date with a Japanese man. All her collected knowledge of what it was like to be Japanese paled in comparison to his knowledge of what it was like to be Japanese.
But more than that, though perhaps less surprising, she began to see the whole museum as a pantheon of heterosexuality. There would be no natural history without it. She could hear the voice of her mother now: "You being with women is not how I imagined our life going." Her mother believed that lifestyle would preclude everything womanly, including having a child. She'd said, "What good is it to be the mother of a daughter who doesn't want to be a mother?"
She felt so replete with shame that when George asked later if he could kiss her, she said, "Please, yes."
They kissed, demurely, tentatively. He said, "Is this okay?" Caroline brought him closer to her, the first time in her life she had ever taken charge. She kissed him more forcefully; the more physical it became, the less mental it was.
When she was in only her underwear, he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her, bringing her bare stomach to his lips. For a moment it felt, to her, like levitation, like transportation. Soon he slipped off her underwear. He put his head between her legs. She stared, wide-eyed, at the high ceiling of his bedroom. From below the zenith seemed so far away.
In Japanese, there was a concept called Boketto, which, roughly translated, meant staring off into the distance in such a way that one lost track of oneself. It described the experience of gazing at a faraway object so intensely that one's mind seemed to empty.
She was twenty-four and having sex for the first time. She had never even masturbated. She was muddled by how good her body felt and began, almost immediately, to hate herself for enjoying it so much. Yet her self-hatred jostled with hope; if it felt good now maybe it would always feel good.
Her mother had once told her that the key to life was to date a man who loved you more than you loved him. This was before Caroline had tried to tell her mother she would never love a man at all. "Daddy loves you more than you love him?" she'd asked. Her mother said, "The only time a woman loves a man more than he loves her is when he leaves her." She'd felt sorry for her father, but also delighted that she and her mother knew something no one else knew. Yet she'd returned to this nugget of wisdom every now and again, wondering how her mother could be so cruel. The pity she'd initially felt for her father dissolved into repulsion towards her mother.
She'd spent so much time trying to unfasten herself from her mother's guidance that the idea of acquiescing to it was unbearable. So she didn't bear it. And the immediate pleasures of being with George—the museums, the dinners, the taking a cab instead of the subway—went a long way towards making her forget her commitment to live life outside her mother's lines. Maybe it was that the life she wanted to live lay already outside those lines and the idea of doing something her mother would approve of was comforting.
Even the sex was pleasing. He was very gifted with his fingers and his tongue. He rarely put his penis inside her. She never asked why. Asking him might produce in him a deep shame. She felt overqualified to discuss shame in general but under-qualified to discuss his shame. Also, she believed that meeting a man who did not want to penetrate her meant she was lucky.
What she enjoyed more than the sex was the conversations it brought about. Throughout their courtship George had been reticent; he rarely talked about his family outside of making jokes about them. If sex had opened up Caroline physically, it seemed to open George up emotionally, slowly but surely. She loved listening to him talk about his family. His life felt more substantial than hers, and she had the sense that being a part of his life would make hers more substantial.
He told her about his teetotaler parents, how they had become ashamed, upon arriving in America, of the "flushing reflex," which reddened their skin when they drank even the smallest amount of alcohol. Because of this, George had not drank alcohol until graduate school.
One night he admitted to lying when they first met. He'd told her that his parents discouraged any interest in Japanese culture, which wasn't true. He'd separated himself from that culture. He was poor and not-white and blamed his parents for both of these things.
"The best part of getting older," he said, "really the only good part about it, has been realizing how right they were, how worthwhile they'd made my life. I find myself saying things they've said, believing things they believe, doing things they've done. I always expect to be embarrassed or feel some kind of shame when I catch myself thinking or acting like them, but I feel comforted. It makes me feel less lonely."
Caroline had to tuck her head into her chest to hide her tears.
As the weeks went by and they continued eating lavish dinners and having gratifying sex and exploring the nooks and crannies of New York City, Caroline began to feel crushed by how much genuine affection she felt for George. What she feared more than a life of self-effacement was hurting him.
One night George took her to the opening of a new restaurant in Midtown East. He was friends with the one of the owners, who had offered them the private table in the restaurant's grotto. The grotto was a sort of antechamber-slash-wine-cellar that seemed far removed from the restaurant proper. There was only one table. A waiter came over to them a few minutes after they sat down and explained that whatever they wanted was on the house. Caroline laughed, dazzled by glamour. George, however, insisted on paying, facetiously at first and then more forceful, confusing the waiter and Caroline. Growing up with a father who'd played professional baseball and a mother who'd come from money had made Caroline accustomed to privilege, but never before had she dined with someone who denied free food. George ordered a bottle of wine. Caroline watched the waiter walk away, wanting to reach out to him in a show of camaraderie.
Smiling through her discomfort, she asked George why he would insist on paying for something offered complimentarily.
He said, "What's the point of working seventy hours a week and earning a lot of money if you can't spend it?"
"But just because you have it doesn't mean you have to spend it."
"I want to pay. The host has to be paid. The waiter has to be paid. The raw ingredients used to make the food have to be paid for. The gas and electricity and water—this all has to be paid for."
The food came out quickly. Caroline wondered if the quickness with which they were served was due to George paying for something that was offered for free. She felt somehow worse for the waiter now that George was paying than if the waiter was not being compensated at all.
They ate in between strained and intermittent conversation. The food was exquisite; it tasted as though it had been prepared only for them, like the food was a secret shared between them and the chef. But soon she could barely taste what she was putting into her mouth. An unexpected resentment erupted inside her. She replayed in her mind all of the times money could have been saved. In recounting this, she imagined reaching across the table and slapping George in the face. She would yell and make a scene like some reality television star. She'd say, "I don't need you to do this for me!" Yet imagining that made her feel fraudulent. She did need him to do it. That he was not pennywise around her meant he cared about her, meant that she was worth showing off for.
After the waiter took their dinner plates away, George implored her to order desert. She couldn't eat anymore, she said. He said they should order something regardless. When it came out and they saw how good it looked they would want to taste it.
"Okay," she said. He was, in his aversion to saving money, frightening her.
He ordered two after-dinner drinks and when the drink arrived in front of Caroline, she downed it in one gulp. After splitting two bottles of wine and shooting whatever it was she had just shot, she felt drunk. George's face had reddened from the alcohol. Caroline wondered if he was embarrassed, if his insistence on spending a lot of money was a way of covering up this embarrassment—of his alcohol intake, of his heritage. Flushed with alcohol and guilt, Caroline's eyes began to water. She felt as though she was toying with his life.
Once the check was paid, the owner, the one George was friends with, approached the table. The friend was a woman. While Caroline had known this, the woman was not at all whom Caroline expected. The woman was older than George and was on the heavier side. The woman looked content in her body and in her life. She called George "ridiculous" for paying. She glanced at Caroline and smiled before turning back to George. "Now it all makes sense." She said, "Wow." Caroline was flattered by the woman's compliment. Her heart took turns fluttering and sinking. In one glance, Caroline felt the knot of the past few months, the one she'd tied as tight as she could, slip loose.
Back at George's apartment, the giddiness Caroline experienced over being complimented by an attractive woman wrestled with her failure to free herself from a relationship that satisfied her—not completely, but not insignificantly. She sat on George's bed in a daze. She was still somewhat drunk. She thought of the restaurant owner. An absurdly frolicsome montage of the two of them played in Caroline's mind.
She felt unfit to answer the question that loomed over the past few months like an outsized pair of eyes: How much was an easy, comfortable life worth?
George left the bedroom to answer a work email. For a moment, George's leaving was a respite. As his figure faded from view, however, Caroline began to tremble. She scooched herself closer to the edge of the bed and slumped forward, wrapping her arms around her stomach. She thought she might become sick. She loved him. She loved the respect and reverence he had for his family. She loved the pouches under his eyes that carried the weight of a life lived on the margins. She felt such a compelling kinship with him and this she understood to be love, that sense of being and wanting to be alone together. She wanted him to be pleased. She wanted her mother to be pleased. She thought a nice life would be having everyone around her pleased.
Blood rushed to her head, which was tucked into her body in such a way that she heard nothing else but the furious pumping of her heart. She did not hear George call her name. Or she did but she didn't register it fully, as in a dream when one's ears take in a sound from the waking world and incorporate it somehow into the realm of sleep. She realized her name had been called only when it was called again, this time inflected with a question mark—Caroline? And like a dream, Caroline wanted to call back, wanted to call out, but the idea of shouting loud enough to be heard made her queasy.
George stood in the doorway of the bedroom now. He said her name once more, this time with a kindness so tender that it hurt. He said, "Are you going to spend the night? I think you should. You don't look well."
She thought of how easy it would be to stay, how hard it would be to leave, to get up from the bed and walk out of George's apartment, to take the elevator twelve stories down with the twin specters of George hurt and George alone hanging over her, to spill out onto the city street, to descend into the 81st Street subway to catch the C train and transfer to the B or D at West 4th until Broadway-Lafayette and even then not be home, to stumble into her own apartment still fizzy from alcohol but coming down, where she'd be alone, alone, alone for who knew how long. She grew tired just thinking about all that, and yet
"I can't stay," she said.