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When examining where Tesla Motors is in the automotive landscape as they close out 2013, it's important to remember that things weren't looking all that great for startup electric car companies a year ago.
Katie Fehrenbacher over at GigaOm summed things up well last December. Fisker Automotive, which like Tesla received money under from the government's Advanced Vehicle Technology Manufacturing program, had already ceased making cars. Fisker's battery manufacturer, A123 Systems, had already gone bankrupt.
At the time Israel's Renault-backed Better Place was also showing signs of major problems, which would lead up to their bankruptcy declaration the following May.
This time last year Tesla stood alone. And this year, they thrived, but their journey has been an often precarious one.
The company spent 2013 garnering rave reviews for their Model S from journalists and owners alike. They had high-profile scuffles with the media. They surprised everyone and had two profitable quarters. They dealt with issues related to cold and fire. They battled car dealers across the country who feel threatened by their direct sales model. Their stock, while unquestionably overvalued, was and continues to be strong.
They have moved from being the unlikely upstart to a legitimate player in the auto industry, and the one that makes what is most likely the hottest car on the market at the moment. But as they make ambitious plans for the future, they have a long way to go.
Perhaps more than any other automaker at the moment, Tesla has the most fervent and staunch defenders of the company in the form of its owners and supporters. Each time Jalopnik publishes a story that is critical or skeptical of Tesla, we get hammered for it in the comments and in the Tesla forums, called paid agents of Big Oil and the so-called Big Three Automakers. (Full disclosure: We are not.) I would argue that it's our duty to be skeptical of any car company, no matter their size.
But take a step back and think about it for a second: Why wouldn't you be skeptical of Tesla? Go back and look at the track records of other automotive startup companies. Most of them end in failure. As Sam Biddle over at Valleywag reports every day, startup companies are more than happy to come in with exciting ideas that may or may not be feasible all while scooping up as much money from celebrities and idealistic young investors who want to change the world — and in Tesla and Fisker's case, from taxpayers as well — before they go kaput. And they do so with endless amounts of willing hype and almost no questioning whatsoever from the news media that covers them.
Look at ZAP Motors, which notoriously took millions from investors only to never put a car on the road. Look at Better Place and Fisker. Look at Carbon Motors, not an electric car company but one that purported to build green cars and are now called "snake oil salesmen" by the members of the community they left high and dry after considerable grants and tax breaks. Look at people like Scott Douglas Redmond, the poster child for electric car startup shadiness.
How the hell are you any different, Tesla? So what if you stuffed some laptop batteries into a Lotus Elise once and got yourselves a few glowing road tests in the car magazines. What makes you special?
But 2013 was the year where Tesla proved they are different. And that they might just pull this thing off.
It's impossible to overstate how much of Tesla's current success should be attributed to its co-founder and CEO, Elon Musk. The managerial nightmare that embroiled Fisker is proof of what happens when you don't have the right person at the top, and probably no one could grow Tesla the way Musk has.
This is a man who, in 2008 when General Motors and Chrysler appeared headed for bankruptcy and the credit markets were drying up, invested his own PayPal fortune into the company without backers and had to borrow from friends for living expenses. He thought Tesla might be dying, but his leap of faith attracted more investors and saved Tesla from disaster.
He's proven himself to be a tireless and ardent fighter for his company, one who arranges for customers to get their cars fixed on Twitter, actively engages with his customers through the company's blog and other new media and is never afraid to say what's on his mind. In the tightly-controlled world of auto industry PR, Musk is about as real as you get. To top it all off, he's smart, ambitious, innovative and seems to have fun at what he's doing.
The other critical factor in their success has been a simple one: the strength of their product. The Model S is an outstanding, high-tech luxury sedan that largely lives up to its hype. If the car wasn't very good, Tesla would not be in the shape they find themselves in.
That's not to say Musk and Tesla had an easy year. He'd probably be the first to admit that their current success was all hard won.
Tesla's rollercoaster year got off to a rough start in February when a New York Times reporter failed to make a very cold drive from Washington D.C. to Boston in a Model S, leading Musk to say the story was "fake." That's a hell of an accusation to make against the New York Times, and it led to a back and forth battle of words, data logs and second attempts by other people. Musk later said he wanted to move on, but he claimed the debacle cost his company $100 million.
Evidently, Musk is sometimes wrong, because people didn't care. By May Tesla scored two major victories: getting the highest Consumer Reports score ever and then handily outselling all of their competitors from BMW, Audi and Mercedes-Benz and becoming the top-selling car in eight of America's wealthiest cities. The Model S has become the status symbol for the forward-thinkers, the gadget-lovers, and the eco-minded.
May was also a good month for Tesla because it was the first time the company reported a profitable quarter, a development that shocked industry watchers who said they could't do it. They would go on to do the same in August, once again beating expectations.
Oh, and they also paid back their government loans nine years early and with a net gain of $12 million to U.S. taxpayers. GM still owes the U.S. billions of dollars.
Also in August, the Model S was named the safest car ever tested by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. By this point, it was clear that the Model S was more than just a flash in the pan.
The tricky part was getting those cars to the people who want to buy them. Tesla, like Apple, prefers to sell their products directly to the customer rather than through a third-party middleman like a car dealer. Unlike countries like Canada or Germany, where direct sales coexist with independent dealers, the idea of a manufacturer cars selling straight to customers goes against the grain in the U.S.
Since car dealers feel Tesla could open the floodgates and lead to, say, Chrysler or Toyota or whoever selling cars directly, they have used their considerable political clout and large pocketbooks to influence lawmakers to pass legislation banning or tightening direct sales.
This led to Tesla waging a state-by-state war of money and influence against car dealers, and one that is unlikely to end soon. It's happened in places like New York, Ohio and Texas. There, Tesla's "galleries" are legally prohibited from giving price quotes or offering test drives. And in states like Texas, the powerful dealer lobby handily outspent Tesla in campaign contributions. Welcome to how politics works in America.
Many have wondered why Tesla doesn't just bite the bullet and set up a franchise system. But why should they have to, especially in a state that claims to be pro-free market and pro-business like Texas? Further, as Musk told Reuters earlier this year, the chances that a small startup company can pull off a successful dealer chain are historically slim:
He told shareholders that the traditional dealer model has not worked for other auto start-ups, including Fisker Automotive and Coda Holdings, which filed for bankruptcy last month.
"It didn't work for Fisker, didn't work for Coda. In the last 90 years, when did it work?" Musk said at the meeting in Mountain View, California that was also broadcast online. "We have to do this directly."
It's possible Musk could take his fight to the federal level next year, but positive results aren't guaranteed. This remains a David vs. Goliath situation.
As they continue to add new Supercharger charging stations across the country, Tesla also debuted their battery swapping technology in June. Musk said that when these stations become more common, customers will have the choice between "free" supercharging and "fast" battery swapping.
Most likely, Americans may never fully accept electric cars until charging them is as fast and convenient as filling a tank of gas. This could be a good step in that direction.
But just when it seemed when the cold weather controversy was a distant memory in the minds of the public, Tesla was hit with yet another crisis: their cars catching fire following crashes, which as far as we know has happened three times on public roads. The fires occurred near Seattle, in Mexico, and in Tennessee. (The cause of a garage fire at a home in California where a Model S was charging is in dispute.)
While the news media took the fire story and ran with it, and it was partially credited with a dip in Tesla stock at the time, we pointed out that it's really not a big deal. Besides the obvious fact that fires happen all the time when gasoline-powered cars are involved in crashes, only three fires have been reported so far out of the some 14,500 Model S-es sold in North America this year alone. None of the fiery crashes led to fatalities or serious injuries either; as Tesla has said repeatedly, they did what they were designed to do, which is protect their drivers and passengers.
The Tesla fires were news because the company is new, and to most Americans, the modern electric car is still something of a novelty as well. That will no doubt change with time.
Tesla closes out a rocky year that frequently had them in the news, sometimes for the wrong reasons, but was ultimately a successful one. But resting on their laurels is not an option for the company. Compared to the major manufacturers, they're still a boutique company at this point. They raised their game in 2013; more will be expected of them in 2014.
For one, they'll have to post more profitable quarters, with more profit coming from actual vehicle sales rather than selling carbon credits. Their overhyped stock price will come down to more reasonable levels at some point. And while the Model S is strong, the hype won't stick around forever. They'll have to add new models to their lineup soon. As one analyst recently told the LA Times, no company can expect to sell just 20,000 to 30,000 cars a year and expect to be profitable in the long term. And they still have car dealers to fight.
Most likely, that will happen sometime next year with the debut of the Model X crossover SUV, last seen in prototype form at the 2013 Detroit Auto Show and one said to cost about as much as a Model S. I predict that when it goes on sale it will once again be the hottest vehicle in its segment on the market. You think Americans are good at scooping up luxury SUVs made by Porsche and Audi? Just wait until Tesla debuts theirs. That will be the car to have in the U.S.
Tesla is already taking $5,000 deposits for the Model X, though they won't say how many they have accepted.
After that, Tesla is reportedly planning to debut the Model E sedan sometime in 2015 with a release in 2016 or 2017. Said to have a $40,000-or so price tag with a 200 mile electric range, it will compete directly with the BMW 3-Series and its ilk and open Tesla to an entirely new market of buyers.
And then there's the Tesla pickup truck that Musk wants to build at some point. If it's going to compete with other high-end trucks, Tesla's engineers must create one that can do all the truck-things buyers want, like tow a boat up a snow-covered mountain. Half-measures don't work in the truck market.
It's good to see a startup automaker beat the odds, especially one that is based in and builds their cars in the U.S. Tesla heads into 2014 with a great deal of momentum. Can they keep it together another year? We'll see.


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Agencies should file better reports on their service contracts, GAO says
As part of an insourcing effort, OMB seeks more uniform contract inventories.
The Obama administration's effort to better calibrate which functions are inherently governmental and which are better contracted out will require improvements in agency inventories of service contracts, according to a new Government Accountability Office report.
Forty eight of the 49 agencies that GAO reviewed had filed the required lists of their contracts for such services as professional management support, information technology support and medical support, which together totaled $126 billion in fiscal 2011. But due to differing methodologies among agencies, the Office of Management and Budget and Congress could not "meaningfully use these service contract inventories to compare service contract obligations among agencies or develop spending trends," the report said, adding, "agencies did not have a complete universe of service contracts to consider for review."
Auditors also found instances of agencies underreporting obligations -- the General Services Administration underreported about $6.4 billion -- because "they misinterpreted or did not follow OMB guidance."
Of the 40 agencies that submitted reports on their inventory reviews, five identified three contracts where contractors could be performing inherently governmental functions and 104 instances where contractors were performing functions "closely associated" with inherently governmental ones. But the auditors could not be certain, the report said, "whether these results were a real indication of the agencies' effective and appropriate use of contractors or due to the different approaches agencies used to conduct the reviews."
Three agencies studied in detail -- the Homeland Security Department, NASA and the Health and Human Services Department -- took steps to improve workforce understanding of the inventory problems. OMB officials told GAO that its Office of Federal Procurement Policy intends to work with agencies to better enforce the reporting requirements.
(Image via Andrey_Popov/Shutterstock.com)
NEXT STORY: Capturing the 'Merchant of Death'

subset: commoncrawl


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In her talk at Resilience 2011, Elinor Ostrom recommended a recent paper by her colleagues that reviews 91 studies that empirically evaluated her design principles for for resilient institutions for the management of common pool resources.
Cox, M., G. Arnold, and S. Villamayor Tomás. 2010. A review of design principles for community-based natural resource management. Ecology and Society 15(4): 38. [online] URL: http://www.ecologyandsociety.org/vol15/iss4/art38/
The authors found that her principals were well supported. They provide a reformulation of the design principals, by dividing each of the components 1,2, and 4 into two parts and keeping the remaining principals as they are. Their revised principles are below:
|User boundaries: Clear boundaries between legitimate users and nonusers must be clearly defined.
|Resource boundaries: Clear boundaries are present that define a resource system and separate it from the larger biophysical environment.
|Congruence with local conditions: Appropriation and provision rules are congruent with local social and environmental conditions.
|Appropriation and provision: The benefits obtained by users from a common-pool resource (CPR), as determined by appropriation rules, are proportional to the amount of inputs required in the form of labor, material, or money, as determined by provision rules.
|Collective-choice arrangements: Most individuals affected by the operational rules can participate in modifying the operational rules.
|Monitoring users: Monitors who are accountable to the users monitor the appropriation and provision levels of the users.
|Monitoring the resource: Monitors who are accountable to the users monitor the condition of the resource.
|Graduated sanctions: Appropriators who violate operational rules are likely to be assessed graduated sanctions (depending on the seriousness and the context of the offense) by other appropriators, by officials accountable to the appropriators, or by both.
|Conflict-resolution mechanisms: Appropriators and their officials have rapid access to low-cost local arenas to resolve conflicts among appropriators or between appropriators and officials.
|Minimal recognition of rights to organize: The rights of appropriators to devise their own institutions are not challenged by external governmental authorities.
|Nested enterprises: Appropriation, provision, monitoring, enforcement, conflict resolution, and governance activities are organized in multiple layers of nested enterprises.
Michael Cox et al conclude:
a probabilistic, rather than deterministic, interpretation of the design principles is warranted. Likewise, we remain uncertain as to whether the principles may apply to systems at a variety of scales. Ultimately, however, the design principles are robust to empirical testing in our analysis of 91 studies. Thus, we conclude that they are a sound basis for future research conducted to further disentangle the interactive effects of relevant variables, both within and across multiple environmental and social scales.
Aside from our empirical analysis, we dealt with an important theoretical debate regarding the principles: Are they inherently part of a blueprint approach to CPR management or can they be combined with a more diagnostic approach? We think the latter is the case, and this points us in a specific direction for future research. Each of the aforementioned empirical complications could likely be addressed by approaching CPR management from a diagnostic perspective. This is a process that helps to sort out what is important in a CPR setting, when, and why. We hope to see and plan to participate in future work to develop this approach further.
Cox, M., G. Arnold, and S. Villamayor Tomás (2010). A review of design principles for community-based natural resource management Ecology and Society, 15 (4)


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WebMD recently sat down with ISHRS' Dr. Kenneth Washenik to discuss the many treatments in the works. "The development of new treatments, including drugs and cell-based approaches for hair loss, is at an all-time high," states Kenneth J. Washenik, MD, PhD.
At the American Academy of Dermatology's annual meeting in March, various treatment topics were highlighted.
Cell based hair follicle regeneration – taking cells found around hair follicles and growing them in a lab.
Latisse – FDA approved drug that helps eyelash growth may help hair growth on the scalp.
Combination Therapy – where combining a drug like Latisse and a medication used to treat allergies and asthma. The medication blocks a hormone like substance that prevents hair from growing. This may help with hair growth.
FDA Approved Medications – Medication options like Minoxidil (Rogaine) and Finasteride (Propecia) to help treat hair loss.
At-Home Treatments – Low level laser light helmets and combs are a convenient and easy treatment option.
Hair Transplants – This is the best option for some patients and technology today allows for a minimally invasive procedure.
With so many innovative technologies, it's no wonder why more men and women seek help for their hair loss or thinning hair; especially with results being natural looking.


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Having departed The Spencer Davis Group by communicating his resignation through an intermediary, Steve Winwood joined up with after-hours jam session mates Dave Mason, Chris Wood and Jim Capaldi to form Traffic. Winwood certainly had a clear vision for the new group: "The original line-up of Junior Walker And The All-Stars was sax, organ, guitar and drums with no bass. That was the Traffic concept. We were determined to make a uniquely British form of rock 'n' roll that incorporated or evoked traditional music."
That determination went up in a thick cloud of marijuana smoke.
I was really looking forward to reviewing this album, as "Dear Mr. Fantasy" is one of my favorite songs, for reasons that shall be explained later. I was hoping to hear more songs like that—songs that reflected Winwood's vision. This proved to be a naïve error in judgment. In reflecting upon how I my assumptions could have been so far off, I realized that I really hadn't heard much of what Traffic did during their first phase except for the cuts on a greatest hits collection; the Traffic I know best is the post-John Barleycorn Traffic, a band that successfully integrated jazz, soul, R&B and rock.
I had no idea these guys started out so absolutely fucking weird.
Instead of doggedly pursuing their artistic vision, Traffic took a detour to a gamekeeper's cottage in Berkshire where they smoked kilos of dope and tried to ignore a fatal flaw in group dynamics caused by the presence of one Dave Mason. While Winwood, Chris Wood and Jim Capaldi collaborated on songs, Dave Mason would show up with his own numbers and tell the others what to play. That was bad enough, but what made it even worse was that Mason had a different artistic vision than the other three, a conflict that was telegraphed to the listening public through their first two singles. The Capaldi-Winwood-Wood "Paper Sun" is clearly the more interesting and inventive piece, integrating multiple influences à la Winwood's vision. The other, Dave Mason's "Hole in My Shoe," was bitterly and accurately described by Jim Capaldi as "Fucking pop bubblegum." It was hardly surprising that Mason would leave the band before the album was released. He would return for an encore to fill out the second album and leave again, but really, he never should have been there in the first place.
Unfortunately, you can't pin the uneven quality of Mr. Fantasy entirely at the feet of the wayward Mr. Mason. The core trio contributed more than a few stinkers as well, probably the result of the cannabis-filled environment in their Berkshire cottage and an overenthusiastic adoption of the rampant experimentation of the time.
The vision does come through in the opening track, "Heaven Is in Your Mind." Composed by Capaldi-Winwood-Wood, the song opens with an ear-catching introduction of percussive piano and hints of sax that dissolve seamlessly into a sweet syncopated groove that is positively hip-shaking. The free-form panning style of the period is put to good use in this song, with the piano traveling across the sound spectrum on beat and the right-left transfer of the held harmonies on the last syllable of each line. The shift to waltz time in the chorus is executed with finesse, and the gently ironic lyrics point out the imaginative and spiritual limitations of the twenty-somethings who troll the hotspots for validation and attention:
You ride on the swing in and out of the bars
Capturing moments of life in a jar
Playing with children, acting as stars
Guiding your visions to heaven
And heaven is in your mind
Although Dave Mason's extended guitar solo is pretty predictable, and I wish they'd opted for Chris Wood on sax for the fade, "Heaven Is in Your Mind" is a great opening track that confirms the promise in Winwood's vision..
What happens next is "Berkshire Poppies," which is a . . . no, it's more like a . . . shit . . . let's try this. It's like you have opened the door to Traffic's Berkshire cottage, and navigating your way through the smoky haze and around the beer cans, cigarette butts and food scraps that litter the floor, you plop your ass on a filthy paisley pillow and notice the band members fiddling with their instruments. What comes next is a series of starts and stops followed by a passage where Steve Winwood, a British national, sings like an American black guy trying to pass for a Cockney. Meanwhile, Chris Wood is fiddling with his horn, paying no attention to rhythm or melody. Then Mason does a guitar lick that sounds like the dying moans of a cat that has just been run over by a bus, and for some reason, this is a cue to the band to speed up the song and launch into a call-and-response vocal that clearly demonstrates the corrosive effect of cannabis on human motor skills. The rhythm then shifts to a striptease bash, but by this time you've already made a mad dash for the exit. As horrible as it is, "Berkshire Poppies" deserves recognition as the song that best epitomizes the micro-genre, "Self-Indulgent Stoner Garbage."
Don't believe for a minute that your escape from the hippie pad was in any way successful, for now you have to listen to Dave Mason's "House for Everyone," a bizarre, sugar-plum fairy tale where Dave Mason tries to position himself as the keeper of eternal wisdom. The climax of this clunker involves Mason having to choose between two doors: one labeled "truth" and the other "lies." Dave passes on "lies" because it's crumb-a-ling inside, then picks "truth" because the door "was very plain and stood up very strong." Wow! That is so heavy, man, I can hardly get my head around it! Deep! Deep!
Steve Winwood then tries his hand at meaningful symbolism and comes a cropper. "No Face, No Name, No Number" is a ballad that Winwood sings in the broad dramatic style of an American Idol contestant, making you yearn for the understated vocal and string arrangement of "Yesterday." The subject is the faceless girl, an image recycled by several bands of the era, including The Doors and It's a Beautiful Day. Stevie's faceless girl is simply a girl he hasn't met yet, so the symbolic meaning can be summed up in a more succinct phrase: Stevie's still looking for the perfect piece of ass.
With great relief, "Dear Mr. Fantasy" fills my headphones with its swaying groove, signature riff and Steve Winwood in the soulful vocal style where his sweet spot lies. Jim Capaldi wrote the lyrics after drawing a Mr. Fantasy cartoon character, and while they're not bad, let's face it: this is "Mr. Tambourine Man Redux." The song works because of the feel, not because there is any enlightenment contained therein. It's one of my all-time favorite posing songs.
That statement will require some explanation for the majority of my readers who are vanilla sex practitioners.
A BDSM sexual encounter is called a "scene." Because I dominate, I structure the scene. Not the entire scene is choreographed, as I do enjoy following my impulses, but I usually have a clear idea of the fantasies I want to bring to life. During the day I'll muse about what I want to experience during that night's scene and then give my partner specific instructions that she is to carry out to the letter. I always specify what music I want and what I want her to wear in the scene (yes, we dress for sex). I give very specific orders as to how I want the scene to begin, usually with one of us posing to the music I've selected.
Posing involves making an alluring entrance and then either moving to the music or using a particularly dramatic moment in the music to strike a certain pose designed to raise the sexual temperature of the viewer. It may or may not involve stripping, depending on how I've decided we will dress for the scene. Without getting too graphic and offending my more sensitive readers, posing allows a woman to display her assets in an enticing way, and music is essential to providing both mood and rhythm. Great posing songs always have a strong groove and sexy hooks. Some of my favorites are The Stones' "Spider and the Fly," Tull's "A New Day Yesterday," Cream's "Strange Brew," Robert Palmer's "Addicted to Love," Candy Dulfer's "Lily Was Here," Miles Davis' "So What," Oasis' "Cigarettes and Alcohol," and, as mentioned "Dear Mr. Fantasy." I have several playlists that I'm always tweaking for scenes, allowing 20-30 minutes up front for posing songs. As a scene can last two to three hours, the balance of the playlist is filled with strong rockers, R&B, Chicago blues and modern jazz.
What makes "Dear Mr. Fantasy" such a great posing song is the series of contrasts between subtle and strong, between titillation and explosion. During the slow, bluesy verses, my moves are more graceful and teasing; during the faster segments more aggressive and dramatic. The best part comes in the last verse—I try to time it so that I start jacking myself off at the start so I can come to climax when Capaldi breaks rhythm and shifts to double-time snare hits, mirroring the onrush of an orgasm. That move always makes my partner cry out in delight, and by the time I'm done posing to the rest of the song, she is so ready to rock.
Sorry, but there are no videos of me posing to "Dear Mr. Fantasy." You'll have to settle for this 1972 live performance and let your imagination run amok.
The rest of Mr. Fantasy is pretty disappointing with faint hints of greater potential here and there. "Dealer" features a dual lead vocal with Capaldi and Winwood and one of the worst examples of wordplay in rock history: "As the evening sun goes down/The Dealer shuffles into town." The song has an Andalusian flavor to it that is more apparent in the Phrygian opening passage than in the verse structure; the flute marks it as a precursor to "Hidden Treasures" on Low Spark of High-Heeled Boys, a far superior piece. Dave Mason then tries to cement his status as an up-and-coming guru with "Utterly Simple," a childish sitar song that shows only that Mason played hooky when he should have been applying himself to lessons in English syntax, narrative flow and Cartesian logic:
Everything really is stupidly simple
And yet all around is utter confusion
Fairy tales written may help you to see it
Do you understand about Lewis's Alice?
We fit all our lives into regular patterns
All that we really know is that we're really living
Let me try to grasp that: "all that we really know is that we're really living." Does two "reallys" in one line count as an esoteric form of the double negative? Or did Dave just run out of vocabulary words? The repeated rising melody gets really, really irritating, and that is not a double negative but a really, really nice way to say that this song is fucking awful. Fortunately (or not), the next two verses are spoken. I'm puzzled as to who is doing the narrative, as the voice is American and Traffic was 100% British . . . but really, really, I couldn't care less.
In "Coloured Rain" Winwood finds his perfect piece of ass, but he sure has a hard time explaining it: "Till you came along there was nothing but an empty space and a pain/Feels like coloured rain/Tastes like coloured rain/Bring on coloured rain." So, she feels and tastes like coloured rain, whatever the fuck that means. The music is at least halfway interesting and the most Junior Walker-ish track of the lot; Chris Wood finally gets some decent solo space and gives a yeoman's performance. Unfortunately, we make a u-turn back to Masonland with his flanged vocal and equally distorted lyrics combining to create the disaster called "Hope I Never Find Me There." I guess it's supposed to be a lament of some sort about losing touch with the natural world . . . or the past . . . or life before TV dinners . . . Dave covers it all without bothering to connect the dots:
The horse I ride has lost a shoe, the buttercups are dry
The car I drive, has broken down and the blacksmith trade is dying
The meals I eat, have changed into a concentrated vacuum
We finally wind up back at the stoners' cottage for "Giving to You," an instrumental that opens with a barrage of bullshit pickup lines and period phrases like "where it's at." The musical section is similar to some of the work on Tull's first album, with Chris Wood's flute playing a prominent role establishing the main riff. Sadly, Dave Mason's solo is way too predictable and way too long, though, and Capaldi drums like a man who wants to wrap this sucker up ASAP.
And so do I. Traffic would eventually find their groove, but on Mr. Fantasy, they were still lost in the woods.


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Hi all!
I hope that you are all enjoying this hot weather! Here in the Ottawa Valley it is extremely humid and hot! Too hot to want any fabric touching me. So, when a friend asked if she could drop off a quilt with me to quilt for her I said sure! I don't have to be touching the fabric to quilt it on the frame ;-)
Isn't it a beauty??!! I absolutely love the fabrics - they really POP!
I spent a couple of days quilting this for her - not because it was difficult or anything - but because once I got to the black it was later in the day and harder to see; so, I finished it up the next day. Isn't it beautiful! I am really happy with how it turned out.
I quilted this in a 60 wt variegated red to white thread in an all over meander wave pattern in the center and then switched to a 50 wt black for the borders. Here you can really see the quilting on the back. The fabric is actually black but it didn't really photograph well :-( I love how striking the thread is on the back (in real life LOL).
I hope that you are all enjoying this summer weather! Anything quilty in the works?


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Send us your vehicle images with current Mandrus wheels.
But first, please read specs below:
This email link is for photo and comment submissions only. All other inquiries should be directed to your nearest dealer. Mandrus Wheels reserves the right to add and remove images and comments from this site at its discretion.


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Library Search
The NRFC Library is a collection of materials to build a knowledge base around fathers, fatherhood, and operating a Responsible Fatherhood program. It also houses all resources created by the NRFC, including fact sheets, PSAs, and past webinars.
Use the search options provided below to find resources that you are interested in.
Over the last few decades increasing rates of single mother households in the United States have triggered a national alarm over the effects of father absence on society. Father absence has been linked specifically to many of the problems plaguing black communities in the United States (e.g.…


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- This event has passed.
Mandeville Trailhead Farmers Market
January 30, 2021 @ 9:00 am - 1:00 pm
|Recurring Event (See all)
An event every week that begins at 9:00 am on Saturday, repeating until October 31, 2021
Located in Historic Old Mandeville, The Trailhead is the hub for the weekly Farmers Market showcasing vendors selling a variety of items from Art to produce! Art Party Boss will be there every Saturday at Booth 22, near the Amphitheater.
Also the spot to be for special events, live concerts, seasonal events and more!
Kids are invited to enjoy the refreshing splash of the aquatic fountains March-October 10 a.m. – 8 p.m


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Home - Return to Previous Page
Toyota Yaris Napier Sportz Dome-To-Go Truck Tent - 86000
- Toyota Yaris Napier Sportz Dome-To-Go Truck Tent - 86000
- Fits: Toyota Yaris
- Color: Blue/Grey/Orange
- Measurements: 8.5 x 8.5 x 6.5'
This tent will take your hatchback or CUV from vehicle to ultimate adventure accessory with easy one-man set-up!
Hit the open road and answer the call of the wild whenever it strikes you! The Dome To Go Tent wraps around the cargo area of your vehicle allowing you total access for additional sleeping spaces or for storing gear. Don't make expensive reservations or fuel up a gas guzzling RV for vacations; you and your crew can live the adventure any time, any place!
Keep your tent in your vehicle for spontaneous adventure, and if you want to go for a cruise once you've set up camp... no problem!
This is the only hatchback tent where the vehicle sleeve completely unzips and your tent functions as a regular ground tent!
- Roomy 8.5' x 8.5' tent with over 6.5' of headroom sleeps 4 people
- Attach to your vehile to use the cargo area for storage or additional sleeping spaces
- Easily adust the vehicle sleeve for a custom fit to your vehicle
- Transform the vehicle tent into a ground tent by fully removing the vehicle sleeve
- Bathtub style floor for superior waterproofing
- Full tape seamed rain fly with a 6' x 6' awning for shade
- Storm flaps in windows for protection and privacy
- Guy rope leads out for added stability
- 2 large entrance doors and 2 no-see-um mesh windows
- Cyclone venting system and skylight for superb ventilation
- Easy to open entrance doors
- 2 inside pockets and gear loft to keep you and your gear organized
- Expandable carrying bag for easy storage
- Capacity: 4
- Weight: 24 lbs
- Height: 80 inches
- No. of Doors: 2
- No. of Windows: 3
- No. of Doors: 2
- Seasonal Use: 3 Seasons
- Floor Material: Woven Polyethylene with Rip Stop with 1200mm PU
- Fain Fly Material: Tape Seamed Polyester Taffeta with 1200mm PU
- Vehicle Sleeve Material: 185T, 75D, 1200mm PU Polyester Taffeta, C.P.A. I-84
- Window Material: No-See-Um Mesh
- No. of Poles: 2 Shock Corded Fiber Glass Poles, 2 19mm Steel Poles
- Storage: 2 Interior Pockets, 1 Gear Loft
Was: $337.99
Sale: $329.99
Fits: Toyota Yaris
Easy to use!
- 867322
- 867322
- Napier
- New
Shipping Information
- Item Requires Shipping
- $60.00


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Welcome to the official website of Jane Marie Rosenbohm, classical guitarist.
Jane Rosenbohm is an accomplished classical guitarist with over 46 years of experience in Musical Arts whose passion and skill with the Classical Guitar is an inspiration to many as she continues to educate and perform. Jane has performed with various prominent musicians through participating in the Christopher Parkening Master Class and The Castellani & Andreaccio Duo Master Class in Rome, Italy. Jane has also performed for West Virginia's Mountain Stage on public radio. Jane's commendable repute has earned her the Artsbridge Founder's Club Award for artistic excellence.
Jane currently makes her home in Kissimmee, Florida, where she unites her love of airplanes and music by flying her Cessna Cardinal to her concert destinations.
Jane is available for concert bookings, Arts-in-Education programs, residencies, and various other events.


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UNIVERSITY OF WISCONSIN River Falls
The mission of the Office of Internal Audit is to provide independent, objective assurance and consulting services designed to add value to, protect, and strengthen the management of the University of Wisconsin System and its universities, colleges, and extension. Please use this site to learn more about our department and to browse our resources.
The University of Wisconsin System has selected The Network to provide you with a simple and anonymous way to report activities that may involve misconduct or violations of university policy. You may file a report
online or by dialing 855.827.4950.
Steve Mentel, CPA
UW System Administration Office of Internal Audit
780 Regent Street
Madison, WI 53715
Phone: 608-263-4396


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Some Relief for Immigrants in the Developing World
- Research & Initiatives
- Publications
- Events
- News
- About Us
- MPI Europe
Many countries in the developing world have large migrant populations, usually from within the region. Often times, these migrants work in low-skilled jobs. While some may have work permits, others may well have entered illegally, overstayed a visa, or been trafficked into the country. They generally do not have the same rights as citizens.
South Africa, Brazil, and Costa Rica — all destinations for migrants from the region — sought to make the lives of immigrants a little better in 2009.
South Africa has struggled to cope with refugee and economic-migrant flows from its highly unstable neighbor, Zimbabwe, in recent years. An estimated 2 million Zimbabweans are in South Africa. Last year South Africa received worldwide attention for its citizens' shocking attacks on Zimbabwean and other African migrants.
Issue No. 9 of Top Ten of 2009
But this spring, the government announced it was granting 12-month permits to Zimbabweans residing in South Africa illegally. It also lifted its visa requirement for Zimbabwean citizens.
In August, years of ministerial discussions culminated in South Africa and Zimbabwe signing an agreement to promote safe labor migration between the two countries. The agreement starts with farm workers in one province but is expected to be rolled out nationally.
On the other side of the Atlantic, Brazil launched a legalization program aimed at the country's estimated 200,000 Bolivian migrants, many of whom work in sweatshops in Sao Paolo. Those who entered Brazil before February 1, 2009, can apply for a two-year residency permit that upon expiration can be converted into permanent residency.
Costa Rica, which attracts thousands of migrants from Nicaragua, passed a broad migration law that makes human trafficking a criminal offense. Those convicted can face sentences of six to 10 years. One lawmaker noted that the law seeks to improve conditions for Costa Rica's migrants.


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Care Failure recently spoke with Bestfan about her Juno nominations, who influences her and the music she constantly plays on her iPod. Check out our exclusive interview, below.
(BESTFAN): Congratulations on your 2 Juno nominations! How does it feel to know you are getting recognition for your hard work?
(CARE): Its kind of silly. The whole ceremony and the "what are you wearing" and all that kind of stuff (laughs). [To me] its not that interesting but it's nice and looks really cool on paper and apparently parents give a f*** about it, that's what I've noticed. Like you said, it's cool to get the recognized for our hard work.
(BESTFAN): Is there anything you're looking forward to while attending this year's awards show?
(CARE): (Laughs) Yea, I mean it's nice to go out and have a good time. No real band stuff, no loading in. It's all just a bit of a break; maybe get a free drink or something. I'm singing a song with The Beauties the night before the awards. There will be a whole bunch of musicians singing different songs to celebrate the Junos 40th anniversary. I get to do a Neil Young song which is really rad. Singing that is probably the best part about it.
(BESTFAN): Tell us some of the biggest differences in when you are on stage with your band versus a night of Deejaying.
(CARE): I get really bored of my own music really quickly and it's nice to play someone else's for a change. In a way it's a little bit about pleasing the crowd but your also trying to educate too and play new stuff. But it's not like I'm f***ing spinning records, I don't have any talent or anything. This is the computer age unfortunately and for bar deejaying nobody cares if you have a deck or not, so it's kind of sh*tty and really cheap. Overall, they are equally fun. I love being in the studio and I love to be on stage but it's a whole different vibe when I'm deejaying.
(BESTFAN): Who were your biggest influences (musically or not) while growing into the rocker you are today.
(CARE): Growing up I got into Sonic Youth really badly. I remember when I was like 11, I was really hot for them and they came through Toronto that year to do a show and I couldn't go because I was too young but I was really into them. I really loved Beck, I got into him when I was like 8 and yea I was obsessed with him for a while. Anyone who is a little bit strange.
(BESTFAN): What is the craziest thing a fan has done to get your attention?
(CARE): Well there are always cute "Marry Me" signs and things like that. I got some really cool art a couple weeks ago a fan brought to some deejay night I was doing and they are these really cool portraits on canvas. The funniest thing I got was this little Kurt Kobain doll, it's from his MTV unplugged so he's sitting on this little chair and there's a detailed little sweater. That was probably the funniest thing I've got from a fan.
(BESTFAN): Tell us about your label "How to Kill". Are you guys working with any artists through that label?
(CARE): Unfortunately, I had a horrible manager and I had to escape him. Now that I'm not dealing with him any more I'm fighting to the get the rights for my label back. The label hasn't been doing anything for the last little while and won't be for the next couple months. It was something I was suppose to own and right from the beginning his party didn't do the job they had to do, and I'm not bad talking anyone I'm just being honest. The thing that really sucks is that I've been wanting to explain to people what's going on with the band and the different things that are happening with us but I'm walking a really thin line between being completely honest and saying what's going on for real, with our camp and our team. There have been lots of changes in the last four months, and I know I sound like a bitter ex-girlfriend so I need to try and find a balance. We do already have people working for us that are a "kagillion" times better and actually ask me what I want and what I want to do. It's great because I've never had anyone ask me that before. We're having a press conference sometime next week, we have some good news and we have some really s**tty news too.
(BESTFAN): When can fans look forward to hearing new music from Die Mannequin?
(CARE): I've been in the studio for the last couple months off and on, only off because we have to fit it in between shows. We'll be playing some new songs at our show at the horseshoe (CMW 2011) but to actually buy and listen to new stuff, well, I'd like to have everything done in the spring. I'd like to do something where I would release three songs together in groups, every month or couple weeks, but new music really 'effin soon. There will be a lot of new stuff coming out in the next month or two.
(BESTFAN): Describe your songwriting process in the studio. Is it a collaborative effort of does everyone in the band have certain way of approaching the creative process?
(CARE): For all the stuff that's come out so far it's always just been me and a bedroom. Just going crazy and writing songs like a maniac. A lot of my old songs were written when I was 16-17 now I'm older, I'm a grandma I have other things now that make me wet musically.
I love working with people too but the collaborative writing process is a whole other thing. Usually I end up writing the whole song, it's kind of a scam because you have to give away 50% to someone in the room that didn't write anything. It's been weird. I was also never really given any time to write with other people. I mean, they sent me around the writer's circle. Went around all through the States, and through Canada too. All the singles that we've released I've written myself. It's important that I have my own time where I write by myself, there is a lot of pre production as well. I'll even go in the studio and force myself to finish songs other wise I wouldn't be able to. Then there's Tony, he is my bass player and a writer too and we've been together for 7 and a bit years and he writes songs but we've only ever written a couple songs together. I try to make time for people that I like, a couple friends of mine and some are random. Now that I don't have that big bad wolf and the label breathing down my neck, I'm able to do things that I want to do instead of writing with the usual writers.
(BESTFAN): Would you rather pack a small venue or fill a stadium to half capacity?
(CARE): Pack a small venue! It takes a lot to run around in a stadium. I mean, I don't mind it but a small venue is more intimate and more fun. There is definitely something to be said about playing arenas but I like small venues.
Bestfan Quick Q's
Favourite Movie?
Serial Mom
Favourite City you've played in?
Hanover and Stuttgart, Germany
Favourite televison show as a child?
Name 3 songs in heavy rotation on your iPod?
1) Al Green – "Can I Get Next To You"
2) Michael Jackson – usually "Beat It" or "Billy Jean"
3) Drive Like Jehu…awesome band!
-End of Interview-
The band will playing a live show with The Birthday Massacre at Toronto's hot spot, The Opera House on March 25th for the JunoFest and they'll be at the 40th Juno Awards, also held in Toronto on March 27th. They are definitely a band you want to look out for! Be sure to buy a copy of their album FINO + BLEED, in stores now!


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Just after midnight the silence is broken.
A frightened 10-year old tugs at your sheets as tears stream down her face. "My tummy hurts and I can't get back to sleep."
It's going to be a long night.
Actually, it's happened before – many times in fact, and tonight is no exception. Unfortunately there doesn't seem to be a workable solution either. Despite a battery of negative tests and multiple medications, the pain, tears and the anxiety persist.
This condition is called "recurrent abdominal pain" (RAP) and it typically affects approximately 5% of children. Actually this may represent a gross underestimation. Extraordinarily difficult to treat, the condition often evolves into an ongoing source of frustration for kids, their parents and physicians. Frequently associated with cramps and bloating, symptoms can increase in frequency to the point of daily occurrence. While lactose intolerance, gastroesophageal reflux (heartburn in adults) and constipation are known causes, the underlying basis for these symptoms is unknown in approximately 50% of sufferers. Many experts agree, however, that stress may play a significant role as one elusive factor.
This is not surprising for as RAP worsens, heightened stress typically ensues and everything seems to fall apart – schoolwork, homework, extracurricular activities and social interactions. After multiple sleepless nights, parental frustration approaches the breaking point. When trial after trial of medication fails, and each new consultation leads to a dead end, a depressing sense of hopelessness sets in.
Yet there is promising news!
Research in progress is suggesting a rational solution that works for many children – without side effects! A medical team at the University of Arizona is currently studying this problem. Funded by a $5 million grant from the National Institutes of Health (NIH), investigators at the Children's Research Center are testing the use of guided imagery and visualization techniques for the treatment of RAP.
Their initial success isn't surprising considering the fact that imagery techniques have been clearly shown to help people cope with and reduce pain. A number of research investigations have already validated this approach in various patient populations including children with postoperative pain (Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics – October 1996), and adults with pain associated with cancer (Pain – November 1995).
The Arizona research team provides each child with 4 instructional sessions covering deep-breathing relaxation techniques or guided imagery with muscle relaxation. With the primary goal of preventing pain, children are instructed to practice twice daily. They also learn to utilize these techniques during painful or stressful periods. Each child maintains a log which is carefully reviewed by the investigators.
Many clinicians have discovered that the majority of children tend to accept this approach without resistance. To a child, guided imagery is simply a natural extension of play or story telling. Since one's ability to exercise his/her imagination is key, kids are actually more likely to achieve better results than adults.
As a neurologist, I've referred a number of children with RAP to our counselors for guided imagery and relaxation training. Coupled with appropriate counseling, kids and their parents learn to reestablish a needed sense of control while taking an active role in the healing process. Their results are often extraordinary and I'm not aware of any reported side effects.
So the next time your child awakens with RAP, forget the Pepto Bismol – you know it doesn't work. Consider beginning instead with a hug and encourage your child to close his/her eyes while imagining a colorful hot air balloon floating within and pressing against the walls of the stomach. As you focus on and begin to practice slow, deep and relaxed breathing, suggest the air is slowly escaping from the balloon as it progressively shrinks and eases the pressure in the tummy. Continue in a calm voice and an even tempo while you describe the balloon gradually shrinking until it is barely visible and no longer exerting any pressure or discomfort. Do not be surprised if your child quickly falls asleep.
Prior to beginning any treatment strategy, remember to consult your physician for a comprehensive exam, workup and diagnosis. Yet don't be afraid to try guided imagery or deep-breathing relaxation techniques even when medications are prescribed. And sleep well, knowing that your child might never have to awaken again with a bout of RAP–Mind Over Matter!
MD all rights reserved


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Is Earth's Temperature Up or Down or Both?
February 6, 1997
Thermometers on the ground, measuring the near-surface air temperature, demonstrate a marked increase in globally-averaged temperature over the past two decades. Computer models of global warming predict that the temperature trend in the Earth's thick lower atmosphere, called the lower troposphere, should be experiencing an even more pronounced warming that increases smoothly with altitude. And yet, satellite observations of the temperature of the Earth's lower troposphere do not reveal any overall warming trend. Although interpreted by some as a controversy, research from NASA/Marshall Space Flight Center and the Global Hydrology and Climate Center now suggests that the temperature structure of the atmosphere is more complex than we (and our computer models) originally thought.
These results will be presented today (February 6) at the 77th meeting of the American Metorological Society in Long Beach, California in a special session dedicated to the scientific study of global warming.
Dr. Roy Spencer, a scientist at NASA/Marshall and principal author on the paper, has been monitoring the temperature of layers in the Earth's atmosphere from space. Along with Dr. John Christy of the University of Alabama in Huntsville, Spencer has produced a temperature record spanning 18 years. Acquired from Microwave Sounding Unit (MSU) instruments flying aboard the TIROS series of weather satellites. Their data show temperature variations in the lower troposphere, a region from the surface to about 5 miles into the atmosphere.
"The temperatures we measure from space are actually on a very slight downward trend since 1979 in the lower troposphere. We see major excursions due to volcanic eruptions like Pinatubo, and ocean current phenomena like El Nino, but overall the trend is about 0.05 degrees Celsius per decade cooling," Spencer remarked.
However, temperature measurements on land and ocean are up. "Thermometers taking the temperature at the surface show a warming trend of about +0.10 to +0.15 degrees Celsius per decade," Spencer continued. "Current computer models of global warming always predict that the temperature variations at the surface should increase smoothly with height as you go up through the lowest 8 miles of the atmosphere." This should make the temperature trend in the troposphere not only upward, but more pronounced than on the surface.
But the space-based measurements show a more complex vertical structure, with cooling in the lower portion of this deep layer and warming in the upper portion. Spencer and co-author Dr. William Braswell of Nichols Research Corporation have great confidence in the quality of their satellite data. "We've concluded there isn't a problem with the measurements," Spencer explained. "In fact, balloon measurements of the temperature in the same regions of the atmosphere we measure from space are in excellent agreement with the satellite results."
"Instead, we believe the problem resides in the computer models and in our past assumptions that the atmosphere is so well behaved. These models just don't handle processes like clouds, water vapor, and precipitation systems well enough to accurately predict how strong global warming will be, or how it will manifest itself at different heights in the atmosphere," remarked Spencer.
These poorly modeled processes are all related to convection. This is the continual overturning of the atmosphere that occurs as water, evaporated from the Earth's surface, carries excess heat energy into the upper atmosphere where it can be more efficiently radiated to outer space. This convective redistribution, the scientists theorize, may be part of what causes the interesting height-dependent structure in the temperature variations seen in the MSU data. Spencer says that the models also suffer from "numerical diffusion," wherein water vapor in the lower atmosphere is allowed to unrealistically diffuse into the upper atmosphere, where it acts as a greenhouse blanket. "All of these effects together make the computer-modeled atmosphere look much more vertically uniform than it probably is," Spencer concluded.
For more information on measuring temperatures from space please contact: Dr. Roy Spencer
Mail Code ES-41
Space Sciences Laboratory
Huntsville, Alabama 35812
Authors: Dr. Roy Spencer, Dr. John Horack
Curator: Bryan Walls
NASA Official: John M. Horack


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|Fist is a Scrabble word. Scrabble point value for fist: 7 points.
|Fist is a Words with Friends word. Words with Friends point value for fist: 7 points.
Above are the results of unscrambling fist. Using the word generator and word unscrambler for the letters F I S T, we unscrambled the letters to create a list of all the words found in Scrabble, Words with Friends, and Text Twist. We found a total of 14 words by unscrambling the letters in fist. Click these words to find out how many points they are worth, their definitions, and all the other words that can be made by unscrambling the letters from these words. If one or more words can be unscrambled with all the letters entered plus one new letter, then they will also be displayed.
1. a hand with the fingers clenched in the palm (as for hitting)
|Words that start with fist
|Words that end with fist
|Words that contain fist


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This article is more than 1 year old
The Reg guide to hackers in film
Bond, blow jobs and billion-dollar computer conspiracies
Our recent stories about the movie Swordfish, which goes on general release in the UK tomorrow have encouraged us to take a look at the whole hacker-film sub-genre.
Hollywood's various attempts to create a convincing portrayal of hacking on celluloid (cracking exists for Tinseltown only in the Marx Brother's Animal Crackers) created a lot of interest in the office.
We've come up with our own list of 20 films featuring hackers or hacking, good and bad (in no particular order), for your perusal...
- Superman III - Richard Prior uses the command "transfer all monies to my account". Dontcha just wish every OS included this useful feature?
- Italian Job - Benny Hill crashes Turin's traffic system (motivated by a love of 'large ladies') in this classic British heist caper
- Bellman and True (starring Bernard Hill) - a bank robbery using computers in a downbeat movie that came out years before Tarantino explored similar themes
- The Conversation - not strictly about hacking but Gene Hackman's painstaking recreation of a partly-recorded bugged conversation paint him as a character which much the same obsessive traits as today's hackers. Probably the best film (in terms of quality)
- Enemy of the State - Gene Hackman again, as a paranoid informant (certain knowledgeable about intelligence and hacking) that Will Smith comes to for help when he unwittingly becomes involved in a murderous conspiracy
- Die Hard - Bruce Willis in a vest versus 'extraordinary criminal' Alan Rickman and hacker cohorts. Terrorism as a cover for hacking
- Independence Day - Jeff Goldblum finds viruses can defeat alien invasion (and we're not talking the common cold here)
- Tron - floated ideas about virtual reality that were only realised with The Matrix. Jeff Bridges plays a games developer who tries to regain copyright of his work by hacking into the firm that pinched it off him
- The Matrix - Keanu Reeves finds hacking can seriously alter your view of reality
- WarGames - Matthew Broderick hacks into the US Army's nuclear defence mainframe and plays "Global Thermonuclear Warfare". The film that really established the genre and created the public's perception of hackers as dysfunctional teenager kids breaking into government systems from their bedrooms
- Sneakers - Robert Redford leads a rag-tag gang of hackers who are duped into retrieving a black box which can crack encryption codes. Came out around the time of the Clipper Chip controversy and convincingly portrayed a world of hackers living in the shadows
- Goldeneye - James Bond fights Russian (state-sponsored) black-hat hacker and Femke Janssen for control of a satellite weapon. A return to form for Bond, and the first outing for Pierce Brosnan
- Billion Dollar Brain - plot to overthrow Communism using IBM supercomputer comes a cropper when Karl Malden feeds the machine a pack of lies. Harry Palmer (Michael Caine) looks on bemused by the whole shindig
- Hackers - Angelina 'Acid Burn' Jolie and future ex-husband Jonny Lee Miller star as teenage hackers fighting both sides of the law in an attempt to stop a dangerous virus spreading. Despite featuring the gorgeous Jolie, the film is let down by poor plot and weak dialogue - does this sound like another film you might have seen recently?
- The Net - Another beautiful woman fighting computer viruses. This time it's Sandra Bullock, who has to deal with malicious code - and a very nasty case of identity theft...
- AntiTrust - hacker gets involved in, and then resists, plans of sinister multi-billionaire software tycooon, a thinly-disguised Bill Gates (as played by Tim Robbins), to destroy his competitors
- Swordfish - Hugh Jackman co-opted into the plans of dark super-spy John Travolta. It's amazing what you can do with a gun to your head and a pretty girl in your lap...
- Takedown - much ridiculed straight-to-video film based on the arrest of Kevin Mitnick. Risible
- Ferris Beuller's Day Off - slacker hacks into school computer using primitive form of social engineering in order to take day off. Does this make Matthew Broderick the greatest teen hacker ever?
- Johnny Mnemonic - Keanu Reeves challenges Broderick for the hacker-prince crown. Hacking goes cyberpunk in a tale of a man who puts a computer chip in his brain, and no the film has (thankfully) nothing to do with Kevin Warwick
OK so that's our list and doubtless they'll be countless omissions, errors or things you plain disagree with here. If it sparks a discussion down the pub then this story will have done its job... ®
External Links
Internet Movie Data Base - excellent site for everything to do with films
CNN: How Hollywood portrays hackers
Related Stories
Can you hack while getting a blow job?


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Celtics' Big Three nearly split at trade deadline
NEW YORK – As the NBA trade deadline lurched into its final hour a month ago, league sources say the call Ray Allen long feared had come: Boston Celtics coach Doc Rivers was on the line, telling him he had been traded. Allen had been sent to the Memphis Grizzlies for a package including O.J. Mayo and a draft pick, and the Celtics' Big Three had come to a most brusque ending.
For 20 minutes or so, Allen had to process the information. They traded me to Memphis? And yet, as the disappointment dissolved to anger, Rivers returned with a messenger's nightmare: Never mind. The deal fell apart. Take a deep breath and let's go back to work again.
Before the Big Three could make it past the trade deadline, Allen-to-the-Grizzlies had to fall apart and discussions on a deal that would have sent Paul Pierce to the New Jersey Nets for an expiring Mehmet Okur contract and a lottery pick never reached completion, league sources said. Celtics general manager Danny Ainge loves the talent in the 2012 NBA draft, but he still gets one more run, one more chance with this group in the Eastern Conference playoffs.
This had been a wild night at the Madison Square Garden on Tuesday, the New York Knicks unloading a Carmelo Anthony masterpiece – 35 points, 12 rebounds and 10 assists – with a devastating barrage of 3-pointers for a 118-110 victory. Nevertheless, the Celtics are still close to clinching the Atlantic Division title and still promise to be a tough out in the playoffs.
"I think we've become a really good basketball team over the course of the year," Rivers said Tuesday night. "It's just taken some time."
[ Related: Chicago Bulls' Derrick Rose says Michael Jordan's titles 'drive me' ]
Allen still couldn't return Tuesday night with that sore ankle, but he'll be back soon. He isn't thrilled with the sixth-man role behind emerging young guard Avery Bradley, sources said, but will be a pro. He got over the Grizzlies trade and he'll deal with this demotion as long as it lasts. There are vulnerabilities in the Miami Heat and Chicago Bulls, and Rajon Rondo, Pierce and Kevin Garnett are playing too well to be discounted.
"Miami and Chicago are the favorites, but I like us," Rivers said.
The Celtics always wondered what would've happened had Rondo stayed healthy, had they been able to exert pressure on the Heat. Miami is still the best team in the Eastern Conference, especially with the relentless injuries to Derrick Rose in Chicago this season. The Bulls have needed much more consistent scoring out of Richard Hamilton, and far less telling everyone in the locker room what they need to do to be champions. Several sources say it grated on some Bulls since Hamilton's arrival in December, but eventually subsided.
The Bulls will have the best record in the East, and Tom Thibodeau will still sell that locker room as underdogs. He'll win the Coach of the Year again, and he'll bring something of a personal ferocity into the playoffs. He isn't happy the Bulls haven't addressed a contract extension and his relationship with GM Gar Forman remains tepid, sources said.
In the end, Rose has had one pestering injury after another, and privately the Bulls pray he can stay healthy for the playoffs. They can't win without his greatness. In the regular season, the Bulls survived 25 games without Rose, because they play so hard every night, so well defensively. That's a testament to Thibodeau, but it's an edge that gets negated in the postseason.
[ Also: Spurs' title hopes rest on Manu Ginobili's health ]
The Celtics have superb survival instincts, muscle memory when times are toughest. Ainge had been ripped for drafting Bradley out of Texas two years ago, but people needed to have patience with him. He was a teenager, one year out of high school. Suddenly, now everyone can see how talented he is, how vital he'll be in the postseason. Yes, Allen would love to get his starting job back, but Bradley has made a stunning case for himself.
For the Knicks, this was a terrific victory, a chance for Anthony to make a triple-double case for his maturing game. The Knicks are a problem for everyone with Anthony playing so well, with Amar'e Stoudemire on his way back to the lineup later in the week. Linsanity came and went for the Knicks, and it strangely feels like little more than a mirage now.
"It took a lot to beat these guys," Anthony said.
It always does and always will as long as the Celtics are together. They're a tough out, and that never changes. Soon, Allen will be back, and that's an opportunity he thought he'd lost back in mid-March. For a few disconcerting minutes, Allen was gone, Pierce was on the brink of a deal and these Celtics were on the cusp of fading into a historical footnote. Yet, one deal fell apart, one never came together. Here come these Boston Celtics one final time in the Eastern Conference, one more run for old time's sake.
Other popular content on Yahoo! Sports:
• Peyton Manning to make his Broncos debut against the Steelers
• Portland's Jamal Crawford comes up with novel way to try for a new NBA job
• Alabama's $30,000 championship trophy falls, breaks into a million pieces
• Y! News blog: An American guide to British English for the London Olympics


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Extremely Long-necked, Oddly Proportioned Sauropod Reported By American Museum Of Natural History Paleontologists
by AMNH on
Daniel T. Ksepka
Credit: Roderick Mickens, AMNH
Two American Museum of Natural History paleontologists have described a new species of sauropod, Erketu ellisoni, that had an extremely elongated neck, one of the longest necks proportional to trunk height of all known sauropods. E. ellisoni belongs to the Sauropoda, a group of four-legged herbivorous dinosaurs that includes the largest land animals ever on Earth. While certainly a giant compared to living land animals, E. ellisoni was actually modest-sized for a sauropod, smaller than Diplodocus--one of the longer sauropods. The truly impressive feature of this dinosaur was not its bulk or overall length, but the length of its neck-especially in comparison to the rest of its body. Most sauropods had long necks extending from large bodies, but E. ellisoni took this to an extreme. A single neck vertebra from E. ellisoni measures more than half a yard (nearly two feet) long and is comparable in size to about two loaves of bread. Based on the partial neck recovered from this specimen, the Museum team estimates that the full neck was more than eight yards long. The known vertebrae for E. ellisoni are longer than the same vertebrae in the well-known mounted skeleton of Diplodocus carnegii.
The new finding is described in the peer-reviewed journal American Museum Novitates by Daniel T. Ksepka, a graduate student enrolled at Columbia University who studies at the American Museum of Natural History, and Mark A. Norell, Curator in the Museum's Division of Paleontology.
The fossil, which also includes a chest plate, two lower leg bones, and a potato-sized anklebone, was discovered in 2002 during the exploration of a new site, Bor Guvas part of the Museum's annual joint paleontological expeditions to the great fossil beds of Mongolia's Gobi Desert with the Mongolian Academy of Sciences. Bor Guvas a floodplain when the rocks bearing the new fossil were deposited 100 to 120 million years ago. The generic name for the new sauropod, which was an adult when it died, is derived from Erket of 99 deities chronicled from pre-Buddhist Mongolian shamanistic tradition. Erketthe god of might. The species name honors Mick Ellison, Senior Principal Artist at the Museum, whose work has made a significant contribution to dinosaur research.
Mr. Ksepka and Dr. Norell's research included a new genealogical analysis of the relationships among sauropods, now including E. ellisoni. The new family tree revealed that this specimen occupies a branch of the sauropod evolutionary tree close to the advanced sauropod group Titanosauria. Titanosaurs are considered the most successful group of sauropods by many paleontologists because they managed to spread throughout the world and survive until the end of the Cretaceous Period. Titanosaur fossils have been reported from every continent. Despite their wide geographical distribution, there are many gaps in scientists' understanding of early titanosaur evolution. E. ellisoni helps to fill one of these gaps.
"The discovery of this unusually proportioned sauropod is providing new insights into the complex evolutionary relationships among Asian sauropods and the success of Titanosauria," Mr. Ksepka said. "We hope to examine additional sauropod bones and teeth that have been found at this location to help resolve the questions raised by our study of this unique animal."
The neck vertebrae of E. ellisoni illustrate some of the interesting evolutionary strategies sauropods used to reduce the burden of their long, cumbersome necks. The sides of the bones feature large concavities where air sacs would have existed. Computed tomography (CT) scans of the bones performed at Stony Brook University Hospital reveal that the vertebrae are not solid, but instead are filled with numerous small pneumatic chambers that would reduce their weight. Also, spines along the top of some of the vertebrae were split into two parallel tracks rather than one, as with the human spine. The channel between the two spine rails probably allowed room for a ligament to help support the neck.
With the exception of a few previous discoveries, sauropod material from Mongolia has been scarce and fragmentary. The E. ellisoni discovery adds a new and important dimension to Mongolian sauropod diversity. "The American Museum of Natural History's joint expeditions to the Gobi Desert continue to yield remarkable fossils, such as this new sauropod which had one of the longest necks proportionately of any dinosaur," Dr. Norell said. "The excavation of sauropod fossils is quite time-consuming as it requires digging out massive body parts. Further work at Bor Guvill give us even more insight into the diversity and evolution of highly derived sauropods."
The work on E. ellisoni was funded by the National Science Foundation and the American Museum of Natural History.
Paleontology at the American Museum of Natural History
Home to the world's largest collection of vertebrate fossils, totaling nearly one million specimens, the American Museum of Natural History has had a long and distinguished history of paleontological research in almost all areas of the globe. Since 1990, Michael J. Novacek, Provost, Senior Vice President, and Curator in the Division of Paleontology, and Dr. Norell have been the co-leaders of the Museum's annual joint paleontological expeditions to the great fossil beds of Mongolia's Gobi Desert with the Mongolian Academy of Sciences. These expeditions, which have yielded spectacular discoveries of dinosaurs, birds, and mammals, continue the work begun by Museum paleontologist Roy Chapman Andrews and his team in the 1920s when they first discovered these fossil beds during the Museum's groundbreaking Central Asiatic Expeditions. The Gobi has preserved a broad spectrum of creatures, from towering dinosaurs to lizards that fit in the palm of your hand, all in exquisite detail. Museum scientists will return this summer--for the 17th consecutive year--to explore this vast desert with their colleagues from the Mongolian Academy of Sciences.
American Museum of Natural History
The American Museum of Natural History is one of the world's preeminent scientific, educational, and cultural institutions. Since its founding in 1869, the Museum has advanced its global mission to explore and interpret human cultures and the natural world through a wide-reaching program of scientific research, education, and exhibitions. The Museum accomplishes this ambitious goal through its extensive facilities and resources. The institution houses 45 permanent exhibition halls, state-of-the-art research laboratories, one of the largest natural history libraries in the Western Hemisphere, and a permanent collection of more than 30 million specimens and cultural artifacts. With a scientific staff of more than 200, the Museum supports research divisions in Anthropology, Paleontology, Invertebrate and Vertebrate Zoology, and the Physical Sciences. The spectacular Frederick Phineas & Sandra Priest Rose Center for Earth and Space, which opened in February 2000, features the rebuilt and rejuvenated Hayden Planetarium and striking exhibits about the nature of the universe and our planet. Home for more than three decades to the Museum's celebrated 94-foot-long blue whale model, the Milstein Hall of Ocean Life reopened in May 2003, transformed through current scientific research and cutting-edge exhibitry into a fully immersive oceanic environment. The Museum, which was rated number one in New York City in the Zagat Survey's first-ever U.S. Family Travel Guide, as well as the number three most popular U.S. destination, shares its treasures and discoveries with millions of on-site visitors from around the globe each year. In addition, the Museum's Web site extends its collections, exhibitions, and educational programs to millions more beyond the Museum's walls.
Media Inquiries: Department of Communications, 212-769-5800


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Dem investigators target insurers
House Democrats are probing the nation's largest insurance companies for lavish spending, demanding reams of compensation data and schedules of retreats and conferences.
Letters sent to 52 insurance companies by Democratic leaders demand extensive documents for an examination of 'extensive compensation and other business practices in the health insurance industry." The letters set a deadline of Sept. 14 for the documents.
Rep. Henry Waxman (D-Calif.), chairman of the House Energy and Commerce Committee, and Rep. Bart Stupak (D-Mich.), chairman of the Subcommittee on Oversight and Investigations, signed the three-page letter dated Monday.
An industry source replied when asked for comment: "This is nothing more than a taxpayer-funded fishing expedition designed to silence health plans."
By Sept. 4, the firms are supposed to supply detailed compensation data for board members and top executives, as well as a "table listing all conferences, retreats, or other events held outside company facilities from January 1, 2007, to the present that were paid for, reimbursed, or subsidized in whole or in part by your company."
For employees or officers making $500,000 or more, the committee wants information on salary, bonus, options and pension.
And by Sept. 14, the firms are supposed to provide copies of reports from compensation consultants, plus board drafts of compensation plans and information about market share.


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Try this one! ShortcutTip - Prompts for a description when a shortcut is created.Features:- It watches the Start menu and the Desktop.You'll find the downloads and more info at 1 Hour Software by Skrommel.Skrommel-skrommel (July 25, 2008, 07:27 PM)
Mine all organized with the PortableApps.com Platform - works great! -CleverCat (September 25, 2011, 04:27 AM)
All versions of the PortableApps.com Suite include the integrated PortableApps.com Menu (pictured at right) and the PortableApps.com Backup utility along with a set of custom icons, an autoplay configuration, folders and a quick start shortcut.
PA's platform is a gem. Especially nice is how it auto discovers new apps you've added.-40hz (September 26, 2011, 01:51 PM)
I have a folder full of tiny utilities collected over time, single exes with maybe an associated .ini or a .hlp file. I suspect a lot of you have a similar collection. I could launch these using a launcher like FARR or Launchy but I rarely seem to remember their names. There are also occasions where I'm not sure I have the right tool for a job and need a quick look at what I have in a certain category... eg:networkingI figured the best way to do this would be to use tags and after trying some tagging software, none of which I cared much for, I've settled for a somewhat unconventional solution. I use Linkman to organize these files. The files can be dragged and dropped to the "Apps" folder in linkman, the Apps folder has ~apps in its comment keywords field. Each util gets a bookmark inside this folder with all applicable tags added to the comment field. So if I'm search for an app I type ~app (to get the url bookmarks out of the way) and follow it with whichever tags are appropriate. I haven't really committed to this system but I really like it. I'm curious what system others use to access these apps... (other than using your superior memories to remember their names, of course! )Edit: Quicker/"dirtier" approach, just add the tags to the filename and use something like Everything to find them. The name length restrictions shouldn't pose much of a problem. Also takes care of portability. [Edit: Bad bad bad for command line utilities! ]-nosh (September 01, 2011, 06:40 AM)
Thanks for the drop and drag tip. I was using navigating "Edit-new-local_file" which works well, I suggested Linkman modify the structure to make that a bit easier to find.-Steven Avery (September 26, 2011, 06:26 AM)
Thought:We could have a thread for the "Responsive, Friendly Dozen" (or 25) - "commercial" software where the individual or small team is totally responsive. Thomas for Linkman is nominated, that fellow Jaros from Hard Disk Sentinel. There can be superb software without such daily give-and-take (e.g. Revo Uninstaller) and the is often super-responsive DonationCoderWare and Freeware. I just think the actual biz companies that are really dedicated with products especial can get a nod.-Steven Avery (October 04, 2011, 12:06 PM)
We are planning a "10 things you may not know about Linkman" video.
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Chapter 2
Chapter 2
Note: Our male lead Luo Binghe shows up in this chapter! Still a lot of footnotes but less than in Chapter 1. Preliminary edit completed.
Shen Yuan had never been able to understand why this extreme scum villain, Shen Qingqiu, had this kind of do-or-die attitude. For what?
The original Shen Qingqiu's family was well-off and he could at least be considered a small wealthy second generation offspring. He had two older brothers who would inherit the family business in the future and a younger sister that he loved. Their feelings were very good.
He already knew that even if he didn't amount to much in life, he wouldn't lack a mouthful of rice [1]. But perhaps it was because his growing environment was so easy and lacking in competition that as long as the competitors numbered more than ten, getting ranked within the first ten was considered a good result to him.
Thus, he had never shared a common language with those who wanted to dominate the world.
This original Shen Qingqiu had some skill and qualifications. He also pretended to have more than he had. No shortage of reputation, no need to worry about money as a member of the world's number one sect; why did he have to keep picking a fight with the grassroots protagonist, his brain working all day to calculate how to insult the protagonist and incite others to join in?
Even if Luo Binghe was a heaven-sent genius and incredibly powerful, to compare himself to…… there was no need to be jealous to this degree, right?
Still, you couldn't blame this scum villain for being so crummy. In the novel, this kind of crummy scum villain was like carp in the river, proliferating everywhere. He was only one of many.
What was there to do? This novel's biggest BOSS was the protagonist himself. How could a firefly's light shine like the sun and the moon?
He won respect in the cultivation world because of his 'Xiu Ya Sword,' so his natural talent couldn't be considered too bad.
For now, Shen Qingqiu looked left and right, pleased even though his complexion was like the color of porridge in the bronze mirror.
This person's appearance was neat with two black eyebrows and thin lips, born to look like a scholar. Plus his trim and long legs, he could be considered a good-looking man. Though his actual age didn't bear thinking of [2], this was a cultivation novel; Shen Qingqiu cultivated his inner strength and so he had perfectly maintained the looks of a youth. When he was reading books to fill his mind, the quality of his looks multiplied [3].
Though there was no way to compare to Luo Binghe.
Once he thought of Luo Binghe, Shen Qingqiu's brain felt extreme pain.
He wanted to take a look right now at the Luo Binghe who's currently shut up in the woodshed, but before he could take a step, another alarm sounded in his mind.
【Warning! OOC warning! 'Shen Qingqiu' would not take the initiative to see Luo Binghe. 】
Shen Qingqiu angrily said: 'Fine. Then I'll send someone to bring him over, this much should be okay.'
He thought for a moment, then called out: "Ming Fan!"
From outside the door a boy of around sixteen years of age darted in, tall and thin, and said: "This disciple is here. What is Shifu's command?"
Shen Qingqiu couldn't help taking another look at him. He could be counted as decent-looking, just had a bit of a wretched appearance [4]. In his heart he lamented: Turns out he's a piece of cannon fodder [5].
This was the original Shen Qingqiu's top disciple, Luo Binghe's senior martial brother Ming Fan.
This was the legendary lowest level of cannon fodder!
Needless to say about shutting Luo Binghe out of the dorms overnight or deliberately giving him the wrong entry passwords, these kinds of things he all had a hand in. Whenever Shen Qingqiu felt a deep grudge and wanted to torture Luo Binghe, the most trustworthy and eager assistant was Ming Fan.
Knowing this person's final ending, Shen Qingqiu looked at this child and felt quite a bit of empathy with him since they were in the same boat: "Go bring Binghe here."
Ming Fan's heart thought: Why is Shifu calling him Luo Binghe, he always calls him 'that small beast,' 'bastard,' 'mixed blood,' 'sprout,' [6] and uses these names quite often. How come he's suddenly calling him so intimately?
But naturally he didn't dare to question his shifu's commands, so he promptly jogged to the woodshed and kicked the door, yelling: "Come out! Shizun [7] is calling you!"
Shen Qingqiu paced in the room, fully examining the system in his mind.
The system diligently answered him.
【Points are the grading method used. The higher your points are, the better the work is. 】
Then, how would I raise points?
【1. Change the weak plot and fix the errors of the scum villain and other supporting characters; 2. Avoid mines; 3. Ensure the protagonist's coolness; 4. Unravel secret scenarios. 】
Shen Qingqiu analyzed everything deeply, one by one.
That is to say: He not only had to whip the ass of the rotten piece of work that was the original Shen Qingqiu into shape, but also make sure the other characters didn't make a mess either;
He didn't even know if he could keep his own precious little life, but he still must ensure that the coolness points for the protagonist and his girls weren't lacking;
Not only were the plot holes made by the author unfilled, he must personally shovel and top off those holes himself.
As Airplane Towards The Sky said, this novel "Proud Immortal Demon Way" had a very clear goal. Every word that was written was for one purpose, and that was coolness.
Perhaps it was after the male protagonist was blackened that he started playing innocent, pretending to be the pig to eat the tiger [8], guarding against machinations of bitches, and becoming cool enough to overturn the heavens. That's why the work became popular, increasingly long to the point the book was longer than its binding.
So Shen Qingqiu thought, but his task to clean up the plot made the pressure on him very great. Mines were buried all over, he couldn't be certain that he would be able to avoid every single one!
Shen Qingqiu: 'What kind of plot is considered not bad?'
【There is no standard, it depends upon the subjective feelings of the reader. 】
'This poor piece of writing still has a reader.' Shen Qingqiu snorted, completely forgetting that he himself was someone who'd spent V currency on the novel and finished reading while pinching the bridge of his nose, that he was that kind of 'faithful' reader……
Pausing, Shen Qingqiu then asked: 'Then how many points need to be collected for the beginning stage to start?'
System: 【It will be dictated by the specific circumstances. When the requirements have been met, you will automatically be notified. 】
Going through the problem and its analysis was truly applying balm.[9]
Shen Qingqiu sneered. Hearing the door, he stepped back and saw a boy walk through.
Despite being uneasy, he still managed to stand straight and say: "Shizun."
Shen Qingqiu formed three-quarters of a smile before he stiffened.
Going to die! Towards this person who will meet and harm an eighty-something years old woman holding a girl-child, as the person who so greatly damaged the male protagonist's face like this, he was totally going to die!
But, though he'd gone through such abuse, that damaged face of the protagonist proved that he was still worthy of being called the protagonist!
Luo Binghe's pair of eyes were bright like morning stars. A good, fresh and tender little handsome embryo;
That firm and humble look, showing his noble and unyielding character;
That straight and tall stature, that would rather break than bend!
Suddenly met with this sight, Shen Qingqiu's heart broke up the words he was going to say, scrambled all his rhetoric and caused countless words to fall over each other in his mind, so much that he almost blurted them all out!
Thankfully, Shen Qingqiu was at the precipice but his mind cried out at the sheer drop. This protagonist was too excellent, he almost could not hold it in!
He watched Luo Binghe slowly limp through the door, struggling to kneel. The corner of Sheng Qingqiu's mouth twitched. Inside, he thought that this old lady can't afford to accept your bow [10]. If you bow to me today, some day in the future my kneecaps are going to be finished off by you! So he immediately stopped him and said: "No need."
He withdrew his hand and brought out a small bottle: "This is medicine." He ended his words with a sarcastic tone: "Don't let others see and think that my Qing Jing Peak abuses disciples."
Shen Qingqiu entered his role very quickly. He had great guts to attempt the action of giving the medicine to him, but made sure he chose to use a nasty attitude in line with the original Shen Qingqiu's hypocritical character.
As expected, the system didn't let out an OOC notification. Shen Qingqiu let out a breath in relief.
Luo Binghe thought that Shizun had called him over to follow up with more 'teaching.' He didn't think it was to give him medicine. Surprised for a moment, he then held up his hands in a gesture of respect, sincerely grateful: "Thank you for the medicine, Shizun."
Luo Binghe's voice was filled with childishness, his smile full of sincerity, just like the warm sun breaking over the horizon.
Shen Qingqiu stared for a moment, then turned his face away.
This male protagonist before being blackened was truly the model of a good boy, brilliant like the sun. He was the kind of person who if you gave him one point he'd guarantee to return you ten points. It wouldn't be wrong to say he was a small sheep.
Luo Binghe happily said: "This disciple will redouble his efforts in the future, won't let Shizun be disappointed."
Eh, but, if you redouble your efforts then your original Shizun will be the one truly disappointed……
If Shen Qingqiu hadn't read "Proud Immortal Demon Way" and seen this scene, his heart would ache for Luo Binghe and he'd shed sympathetic tears.
However, he had read the novel from beginning to end and was privy to all of Luo Binghe's mental activities after his blackening. On the surface his face was that of a modest gentleman but deep inside he was thinking about how to pull off his skin and bones to expose reality.
【Luo Binghe smiled a little and said: 'What shame this disciple suffered in the past, he will return to you now eight times greater. For hurting my hand, I will grind your four limbs into dust. 】
↑ <<Proud Immortal Demon Way>> Selected paragraph, the 2nd.
Afterwards, he really cut Shen Qingqiu into a human stick.[11]
Say he wanted to do something to you, he'd do it. Couldn't plead for life, couldn't plead for death. This kind of character was like the domineering and cool king he became in later years. The essence of it could be summed up in a few words: "Hehe, you stupid sucker."
That's why even though Luo Binghe's current situation was sympathetic, Shen Qingqiu could only think more about his own future fate.
To sum it up, no matter how sad Luo Binghe was right now, he was also the one in the future whose foot was stepping on his head and laughing ferociously.
Shen Qingqiu sat in the sandalwood chair, choosing to speak in a careless tone: "Binghe, how is your progress in cultivation?"
Hearing "Binghe" coming out of his mouth gave even him goosebumps. Luo Binghe's back also noticeably shook, but he still showed a shy smile: "This disciple is stupid, and…… missed the point."
Shen Qingqiu hated him; heaven knew he wants to take a loudspeaker and roar next to Luo Binghe's ear: You false-hearted person, it's already pretty good if you don't go crazy [12]. Being able to do the basics is already not bad! Are you messing with me, kid! Let this teacher point you in the right direction!
That demonic alert sounded again. Shen Qingqiu inwardly shouted to the system: 'I'm just thinking, can't I do even that?! Of course I know this is a violation!'
He casually said: "Today I punished you because I was anxious. Time flies. Come to think of it, you've been apprenticed under me for quite some time. How old are you this year?"
Luo Binghe obediently said: "This disciple is fourteen."
Oh. Fourteen.
Shen Qingqiu's 'help.'
That is to say, all this time that Shen Qingqiu had been mentoring Luo Binghe, he had already experienced the punished to kneel at the gate incident, Qing Jing disciples brawl incident, being 'contrary' to Shizun incident, breaking the device and sentenced to hard work incident…… and so on, on this kind of glorious track.
—End Chapter 2—
[1] Mouthful of rice: Meaning he won't starve.
[2] Actual age: All immortals will look the same age as when they reached immortality, barring taking pills or some other factor. Shen Qingqiu cultivated into an Immortal fairly early so he looks like a young man. His actual age… is probably quite a bit older than what he looks like.
[3] Quality of his looks multiplies: Basically, Shen Qingqiu is one of those people who looks extra cool doing scholarly things compared to whatever he normally does.
[4] Wretched appearance (尖嘴猴腮): Literally saying he's got a mouth that sticks out and a chin like an ape's, but the meaning is the one I used.
[5] Cannon fodder: If you're familiar with the kind of 'protagonist dominates the world' genre in wuxia/xuanhuan/xianxia novels then you know what this means. You'll also know what this means if you read novels based on otome games. 'Cannon fodder' characters are collateral damage and often used as stepping stones for the protagonist to level up or proceed along their way.
[6] Small beast, bastard, mixed blood, sprout (「那小畜生」、「孽障」、「混小子」、「豎子」): All insulting names. The direct translations are a bit awkward to translate to English so I'm using what MTL's given. It's close enough. In Chinese calling someone by name, especially their 'first name' (which would be Binghe in our ML's case) is something only those close to you would do. In the case of a normal master-disciple relationship, it wouldn't be unusual to use a first name so casually.
[7] Shizun (師尊): Used the same way as shifu and also means 'master' or 'teacher.' I think it's more formal though, more like 'respected master.' Luo Binghe will use this a lot so remember this!
[8] Pretending to be the pig to eat the tiger: Pretend to be weak to win over a stronger person.
[9] Balm: Original words are wan jin you (萬金油) which refer to a traditional Chinese balm called Tiger Balm. It's used for a variety of ailments.
[10] This old lady…: Shen Qingqiu is making fun of himself. In those old palace historical dramas full of schemes, old ladies with high status are terrifying and generally have scores of people bowing down/kowtowing to them.
[11] Human stick: Just a reminder that this is a form of torture. The person's four limbs are removed, leaving only the head and torso.
[12] Go crazy: The actual Chinese words used (pinyin: zhou huo ru mo) tends to apply to people 'going crazy' by cultivating incorrectly. You might be more familiar with the term 'qi deviation.' It's probably also referring to the unusual Demon cultivation path that Luo Binghe is going follow in the future.


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