text: ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 13 Sep 1992 20:54:00 EDT Reply-To: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) Sender: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) From: i'm voting for harry truman (SWEDE at DRYCAS.BITNET) Subject: SF: Renegade Anarchists episode sixteen RENEGADE ANARCHISTS IN THE MOON Episode Sixteen: "Between Stir and Mix Lies...Purree!" by Gary W. Olson "There's the ship," Time Agent 173 said, seeing the ship called 'the Fritz'. "They're here." "Initiating landing procedures," Machiavelli called out. "Drop Trou." "In public?" Jerriphrrt asked, confused. "No, no, no," Machiavelli said. "Drop Trou - the Troukanskzki Landing Gears." "Oh," Jerriphrrt replied. The ship dropped Trou. After settling, the landing ramp snaked out of the Red Emma, and the Renegade Anarchists descended. "Don't see the bad guys," Shadebeam said. "You see 'em, Gham? Gham?" She looked at Gham, whose breathing was starting to get shaky. "Oh, geez. Not this again. It was barely funny in the previous episode." "This is different," Benjen declared. "I can feel it too. Like being close to an engine that's coming to life." "All'a feel is cold," Tarrfel t'Krodkzik said, shivering. "Why's this place so cold?" "It's an abandoned outpost, from the looks of it," Machiavelli said. "The security screens keep the atmosphere in, but don't heat it up a whole lot. The cons probably re-activated the lights when they came in." Inside the Fritz, Milagro Bekn'kse and Hourus Jebillip looked at the approaching assemblage with growing alarm. "It's her!" Milagro declared. "The boss has brought the Lady Van Van with him. Doesn't he know she's really Time Agent 173?" "Maybe he's doublecrossed us," Hourus grumbled. "Whether he has or not, I'm not gonna sit here and get captured," Milagro said. "Start the engines." "Where we gonna go?" Hourus said. "Their ship is covering the exit with it's auto-defense systems. This ship doesn't have enough shielding." "Remember that passage down that the boss told us about?" Milagro said. "But the boss said not to dare go down there," Hourus replied. "He says it's extremely dangerous. There's a lot of weapon systems, combat droids, laser grids, pit bulls, and pogo stick brigades!" "He's just makin' that up to scare us off, Hourus," Milagro said. "Besides, we got a choice?" Hourus shook his head. "Then let's get goin'." Outside the ship, the Renegade Anarchists stopped short as the Fritz started to lift off. "What's going on?" Machiavelli cried out. "Surely they can see our laser cannons trained on the exit." "I don't think that's where they're going," Tarrfel said. Sure enough, the Fritz pivoted about and punched through the far wall of the docking bay, ripping through aged plate and rock. For a few seconds, the atmosphere in the bay was ripped about, battering the Anarchists. When they recovered, the Fritz was gone. "Where'd they go?" Slithis asked. "Down," Time Agent 173 said. "The Cosmic Cuisinart must be located in the center of the Moon." "Oh, well, looks like they got away then," Jerriphrrt said. "Let's go." "What?" Tarrfel asked. "We've got to get that jewel back from 'em, remember?" "I'm trying not to," Jerriphrrt replied. Suddenly, and without warning, the Moon was rocked severely, knocking the Anarchists down. "Satan T. Lucifer Jones must have arrived," Emma noted. "It's too soon," Benjen said. They boarded the Red Emma and looked at the scopes. "It's the PLS Tell-Tale Heart. Hoover's ship!" "Well, what are we waiting for?" Jerriphrrt said. "Let's follow those con guys!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Keep firing!" Hoover ordered. "We'll flush those communists out yet!" "Um, could you find some other way of doing this?" the Omnipotent Eggbeater asked. "What?" Hoover demanded, whirling on them. "I-I-It's just that, um," the Grand High Spatula said. "This place is the Holy Planetoid, home of the Cosmic Cuisinart, and firing on it is really quite blasphemous, non-civic-minded, and just generally a pain in the blender." "Talk about cramping my style," Hoover grumbled. "Sir!" Edgar Allen Poe called out. "The mega-armada is arriving..." "Good!" Hoover said, lighting a cigar, the entire length of which burst into flame. "...along with two other mega-armadas coming from different directions." "Not so good!" Hoover bellowed. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "We're coming out of warp," Bob said to Tane Tessier. "Earth's moon is on the viewscreen." Tane Tessier gazed at the dull-yellowish looking orb. "Not very pretty, is it?" she mused. "After we get the jewel, we'll totally annihilate it, because it's so tacky. The planet, too. They just clash so badly, don't you agree?" "Of course, my lady," Bob said. "I--hold on, I'm getting a report." Bob paused. "No, I don't want to hear about the industrial uses of mayonnaise. Give me the *other* report!" He paused again, then turned to Tane. "My lady! There are *two* other mega-armadas arriving!" "Destroy them both!" Tane ordered. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- "We're emerging from overly-hyped space, mein fuhrer," Goebbels reported to Omegas. Omegas grunted and thwapped Goebbels. "Ow," Goebbels replied. "There are two other mega-armadas emerging from warp," Bennett Quark said. "They're both bigger than ours." "No matter," Omegas rumbled. "We shall be able to keep them occupied long enough for myself and you to slip down to the Moon and get the Eiffel Thing for ourselves." --------------------------------------------------------------------- Satan T. Lucifer Jones relaxed and sipped a flaming cocktail. Slender female swedish masseuses rubbed his thighs while he relaxed, soaking up the heat. Then, predictably, he woke up. "Wake up!" Susan B. Anthony was saying, shaking him. "We've arrived." "Whuh...but...oh, of course," Satan said. "Did I get the paperwork done yet?" "Not even close," Susan said. "And I *sup-pose* you won't be doing it anytime soon." "Are you kidding?" Satan snarled. "One of my plans to rule the galaxy is about to actually come to fruition, instead of trailing off into being forgotten like so many other of my storylines!" When he reached the bridge of his flagship, the crew snapped to attention. "Your infernal magesty!" a demon said. "We have arrived!" "I know that!" Satan growled. "What's with all those other ships!" "One of them is the missing 666th division that Goebbels took to search for Bennett Quark, which is now under the command of said Quark. The other is the mega-armada that has been gathered by Tane Tessier to obtain the Eiffel Thing for herself. "Oh, hell," Satan grumbled. "Prepare my shuttle." --------------------------------------------------------------------- "This is incredible," Shadebeam said. "The moon is...hollow!" The Red Emma descended slowly, mindful of the huge, Moon-size space they were traveling in. Lights projected by the ship disappeared into the inky blackness, although instruments showed that, in places, thin metallic struts extended from the surface shell to the core. "The feeling is getting stronger," Gham said. "As that Eiffel Thing approaches the Cosmic Cuisinart, they react to each other. Can you not feel it?" "Oddly enough, yes," Emma Goldman admitted. "The sheer psychic wave generation here must be off the scale." "There must be a tremendous battle going on in space," Slithis noted. "The outer shell's starting to heat up, with all the laser blasts it's absorbing." "We're getting close to the core," Time Agent 173 said. "Gravity is approaching 1.0. The Cuisinart must be powering the grav generators." The ship passed through another slot, into a blindingly bright sphere, approximately the size of the Epcot center, only spherical. The gravity, oddly enough, was not concentrated in the center of the sphere, but was on the inner surface of the sphere. The Anarchists set down and got out. "They followed us!" they heard a voice saying, from where the Fritz was parked. "You said they wouldn't do that!" "Relax, relax," the other voice said. "I'll handle this. Um...hello! Boss! Sorry to run out on ya like that, but we thought..." "The jig is up, Milagro Bekn'kse and Hourus Jebillip," Time Agent 173 said authoritatively. "You're both under arrest." "I *knew* it was a doublecross!" Jebillip cursed. "Boss, what's going on?" Milagro asked, looking at Machiavelli. Slowly, the rest of the Anarchists turned to look at Machiavelli, who was grinning weakly. "I see it's time for some confessions," he said. "Yes, I knew about the Cosmic Cuisinart, a long time before anyone else outside of Time Central or the Chaotic Bastion of Silliness did. I discovered it while interviewing some of the dead members of the CBS, as part of my position as Satan's Cheif of Coversion. From their information I was able to find the Cosmic Cuisinart, and use the computers located here to determine that I needed the Eiffel Thing to run it. "Some more investigation made me discover where the Eiffel Thing currently was, on Sagistus Epsilon IV, where a genius named Bennett Quark kept it well guarded. I hired Milagro Bekn'kse and Hourus Jebillip here, two of the best, for their particular price bracket, con-men to steal the Thing, and instructed them to bring it here. I told them that I would be bringing some buyers, and that we would sell the Thing and split the profits. As they saw the Thing as just an expensive jewel, rather than the key to the Cosmic Cuisinart, they readily agreed. "However, being Satan's Cheif of Coversion, I was in turn under constant scrutiny, and would never have been able to pull off such a maneuver as the Cheif. So, I had to arrange to discredit myself, and allowed J. Edgar Hoover to outmaneuver me, letting him believe he had won my job from me. I was assigned to the PLS Tell-Tale Heart in disgrace. At the same time, Satan's new prototype ship, the Red Emma, was being tested on the ship, and I saw the opportunity to escape. Using the information I gathered through centuries of espionage, I programmed a course for the Red Emma to escape from Hell, knowing eventually I'd be able to manipulate events so that I could rendezvouz here. Although there were considerable detours along the way, here I am! And now...au revior, Renegade Anarchists!" Niccolo Machiavelli broke from the Anarchists and ran towards Milagro, who was holding the box containing the Eiffel Thing. Hourus Jebillip moved to block him, but Machiavelli spun away and tackled Milagro, causing him to fumble the box, which bounced on the floor and opened, spilling the Eiffel Thing. Everyone gasped, seeing it's deep, pulsating green glow, almost blinding in it's intensity. "Look at the Cosmic Cuisinart!" Emma declared. The Cuisinart, which was suspended in the center of the sphere, in the exact geographic center of the Moon, by large beams protruding from the inner surface, was pulsating wildly in time with the Eiffel Thing. Emma thought she saw two depressions in the otherwise smooth, cuisinart shaped surface of the Cuisinart. One was small, matching the outline of the Eiffel Thing. The other was large, and was unrecognizable to Emma. Time Agent 173 shouted as Machiavelli grabbed the Eiffel Thing and started to sprint for one of the beams. He was scaling it rapidly, with Jerriphrrt in rapid pursuit. Benjen and Gham took to the air, using their bioelectric fields to propel them, as all members of their race can do. Machiavelli drew a laser pistol and fired at them, making them veer wide. "Not so fast!" two villainous voices said in unison. The Anarchists looked at the owners of the villainous voices. "Satan!" the Anarchists said, shocked. "Omegas!" Satan said, shocked. "Omegas!" the Anarchists said, shocked. "Satan!" Omegas said, not shocked. "Less filling!" the Anarchists exclaimed. "Tastes great!" Omegas and Satan shouted back. "You're too late!" Machiavelli declared. Everyone looked up at him. He had inserted the Eiffel Thing into it's slot in the Cosmic Cuisinart, and the pulsating green light had became a solid green, a glow that was now flowing through Machiavelli, causing his eyes and the ends of his fingers to crackle most impressively. "Oh, hell," everyone else said in unison. WILL MACHIAVELLI TAKE ON EVERYONE NOW? WILL HE WIN? WHERE'S THAT DAMN TOASTER? ALL THIS AND A BIG FAT BATTLE ON AN UPCOMING...SFSTORY! ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 14 Sep 1992 17:00:00 EST Reply-To: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) Sender: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) From: "What am I doing in Indiana?" (GEBROWN at INDSVAX1.BITNET) Subject: captain galaxy episode five 001SF:SFStory Captain Galaxy Episode Five Lieutenant Andrea Skeiner, assisted by Art and Norman, plotted the course of the little spy ship as it left the F'leerk'va system for parts unknown. "Why would they want to go there?" asked Art after reviewing the probable destinations. "You never can tell with Zorgoths" said Skeiner. She turned towards the captain, who was still upbraiding Lieutenant Hendershot. "Course laid in," she announced. "Most probable destination is Skurvaria system." "Why whould they want to go there?" asked Captain Galaxy. "Okay, prepare for hyperwarp." Skeiner hit the alarm, and the crew scuttled for their seats. ----------------------------------- "Commodore, they're preparing for hyperwarp," said Captain Rong of the Zorkoth dreadnought Devastator. "Follow them," said Commodore Urgfelt. "They're sure to be following that spy ship. Find it's course, and we'll find theirs. With luck, we can overtake them." "The most probable destination of the spy ship," said Lieutenant Commander Drenek," is to the Skurvaria system." "Why would they want to go there?" asked Urgfelt. ---------------------------------- Lord Blex was mildly angry. He did not know any details about the dreadnought squadron, the spy ship, or the Avenger. This was what made him angry. When you're commander of a fleet and you've lost track of your ships this will make you angry. Trust me on this one. Not that I've ever been commander of a fleet, but I just lost my hat, and not knowing where it is makes me angry. That was just a five dollar hat. Imagine if I had lost a whole squadron of multi-billion dollar battleships. That would really get me mad. Actually, considering the situation, I'd have to say that Lord Blex was taking it rather well. "VARK!" bellowed Lord Blex. "Yes, my lord?" said Major Vark obsequiously. "Has Urgfelt reported yet?" "No, my lord. Would you like me to put in a request for you to have him keelhauled." "Hmm," mused Lord Blex. ------------------------------------ Jeet sat in a rather uncomfortable chair in the lounge of the spy ship, guarded menacingly by two Zorgoths. The Zorgoth captain was continuing to interrogate him without much success. "Are you sure that we were in commonwealth space?" asked said captain. "You have it on my honor as a member of the Corps of Independent Scouts," said Jeet. "You're in the Corps of Independent Scouts?" said the captain, as much as a statement as a questions. "I'll have to kill you then." "Oh," said the rather stunned Lieutenant Querber. "Why?" "Orders," said the captain. "The naval high command doesn't like you people very much." "Um," Jeet fumbled for a reply. "'All members of the Commonwealth Corps of Independent Scouts penetrating Imperial Space are to be shot on sight.'" quoted the Zorgoth, "This ship is by definition Imperial space, and I can't think of any good reason to keep you alive. Can you?" he asked the large menacing fellows behind Jeet. The afforementioned large menacing types (being the first officer and the weapons officer) shook their heads. "Well, "said Jeet meekly, fumbling for any reason to stay alive, "I can cook." The look on the Zorgoth captain's face slowly changed. "Something besides noodles?" he asked quietly. "Sure," said Jeet, now regaining control of the conversation. "I can make a pretty good chili, and my stir-fried vegetables aren't bad. I also make cole slaw, tossed salads, and all sorts of things like that." "Welcome aboard," said the captain, his demeanor doing a 180 with full tire squealing. "You're our new ship's cook. Get rid of the old one." "He was captured in the raid," said the first officer. "Saves us the trouble of tossing him out of the airlock," said the captain. The weapons officer frowned. He was rather looking forward to tossing someone out of the airlock. WILL JEET BE A GOOD SHIP'S COOK????? WILL COMMODORE URGFELT BE KEELHAULED????? WHERE IS THE SKURVARIA SYSTEM????? WHY _WOULD_ THEY WANT TO GO THERE????? we will attempt to answer these questions, with varying degrees of success in upcoming and/or future episodes of. . . CAPTAIN GALAXY!!!!! ========================================================================= Date: Mon, 21 Sep 1992 18:48:00 EDT Reply-To: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) Sender: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) From: i'm voting for harry truman (SWEDE at DRYCAS.BITNET) Subject: SF: Renegade Anarchists episode seventeen RENEGADE ANARCHISTS ON THE MOVE Episode Seventeen: "Going Out With A Bang" by Gary W. Olson "The battle seems to be going well, sir," Tom Cruise reported to Edgar Allen Poe. Poe relayed the report to J. Edgar Hoover. "Of course they're going well!" Hoover snarled. "Good ol' American know how is what's doing it." The PLS Tell-Tale Heart had arrived and started bombarding the Moon of Earth scant minutes before three large mega-armadas, under the seperate commands of Satan T. Lucifer Jones (his infernal magesty and duke of smelly feet), Tane Tessier (ruthless art collector), and Omegas (a villain from SfStory's glory days who's just glad to be working again). Since then, the battle had see-sawed between the three armadas, with Satan's armada slowly taking the advantage, due to it's numerical superiority (approx. 666 billion ships at last count) and it's hellish weapons. Naturally, Earth had taken quite a pounding, seeing as it was located so near (Remember Paris? It ain't there no more.), though it was the Moon that was taking most of the stray weapons fire, which was causing great distress to the Omnipotent Eggbeater and the Grand High Spatula, who regarded Earth's Moon as a Holy Planetoid. "Arrrgh!" they screamed. "We are in great distress!" "Cork it, kitchen weasels," Hoover barked at them. "This is war, in case you haven't figured it out. And we're winning it (of course). So stop yer sniveling, and your holy fnording planetoid will be safe from commie aggression very soon now." "Sir!" a slightly fearful Edgar Allen Poe said. "Can't you see I'm busy?" Hoover growled. "But sir," Poe said, "Scanners report that a new ship is entering the system." "Is it a big ship?" Hoover asked. "No." "Then what are you worried about?" Hoover screamed, causing Poe's hair to stand straight out and behind him. "It's...the Toaster!" he said. "The what?" Hoover inquired. "The toaster!" Poe said. "The same toaster that was responsible for the utter annihilation of four seperate armadas to date." "Oh, well, that's different then," Hoover replied. "Concentrate all weapons on blowing that goddamn toaster away!" "But that's our ship!" the Grand High Spatula whined. "I mean, it has to be our ship. No one else has a flying toaster, do they?" "Yeah," the Omnipotent Eggbeater agreed. "The natives of Karma Chameleon II must be behind this somehow. I just know it." "I suppose you're in league with the communists flying it then, eh?" Hoover asked, blowing smoke rings into the faces of the two top officials of the Chaotic Bastion of Silliness. "Um, no, no, not at all!" the Spatula said. "Go ahead and blow it up." "Right!" Hoover said. "All weapons fire!" ------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Stop clowning around, you fool," Satan T. Lucifer Jones called up to Niccolo Machiavelli, who was glowing a deep, pulsating green. "Leave the mad lust for ultimate power to the professionals!" "Right!" Bennett Quark said. "That Eiffel Thing belongs to me! Ergo, the Cosmic Cuisinart, and it's attendant power, belongs to me as well!" Omegas coughed. "Oh, and Omegas as well," Quark added. "I've brought ten thousand of my soldiers with me," Satan said. "I've brought ten thousand as well," Omegas added. "*Plus* a division of the Indiana National Guard." Everyone gasped with fear at the mere mention of the mighty Indiana National Guard. Emma Goldman looked around. Everywhere she could see was stuffed with soldiers and/or guardsbeings. "Ah take it things aren't going well," Tarrfel t'Krodkzik said. "No, they're not," Emma agreed. Next to her, Benjen, Jerriphrrt, and Slithis pointed laser pistols in the direction of the soldiers, who were, fortunately for the anarchists, ignoring them. Time Agent 173 watched the scene impassively. Shadebeam and Gham were quickly smoking the last of Shadebeam's special cigarettes. Hourus Jebillip and Milagro Bekn'kse looked around in vain for a way to sneak back to their ship, which had been blocked off by the invading soldiers. Next to the Cosmic Cuisinart, Machiavelli hovered a while. "Not nearly enough," Machiavelli said. "Dig this action." He closed his eyes, and twenty thousand emerald lances shot out from his body, in all directions. Each lance impaled a soldier, who started to shimmer a bright green. Some soldiers managed to fire their weapons at Machiavelli, who seemed to absorb the energy. Finally, the lances flared and faded away, and the soldiers faded with them. "What is it you want, Machiavelli?" Satan asked. "It's clear this has been your plan from the start, a tribute to your unequaled skills at intrigue. What do you hope to gain from this?" "Your job, of course," Machiavelli replied. "My job..." Satan said. "You mean, you want to be Head Honcho of Hell?" "Yes," Machiavelli said. "I had advanced to the position of Cheif of Coversion, which for all intents and purposes is the number two position in all of Hell. There was only one way to go from there. And now, I have the power to challenge you. If I win, I become the new ruler of Hell. If you win, you get the power of the Cosmic Cuisinart and become unstoppable." "Um, excuse me," Omegas said. "What if I win?" "You get all of the above," Machiavelli said. "You have but a fraction of my ships," Satan said to Omegas. "Return them to me, combine your power with mine, and I'll split the power of the Cosmic Cuisinart and use of the Hypernet 50-50 with you." "Agreed," Omegas said. The two villains turned to Machiavelli, who had started to pulse a very violent green. Satan touched his communicator. "Focus energy grid on my location. I want every ounce of power." "But sir," a voice replied. "Our battle with the other mega-armadas..." "Is insignificant," Satan replied. "Focus every last ounce of power on my location. My Omni-Vavoom Multi-Phase Energy Channeler is on standby." "Yes sir," the voice said. "We're also getting power from the renegade ships commanded by Omegas, per your truce." "Um, you know," Emma whispered to her compatriots, "it might be very advisable to make a strategic advance." "Toward where?" Time Agent 173 asked. "Somewhere other than here," Emma replied. "Good idea." Suddenly, though, a beam of intense, red energy blazed from Satan, joined by a slightly weaker beam from Omegas, and impacted into Machiavelli, knocking him from the Cuisinart into the far wall/floor. Machiavelli shot a brilliant green beam back, which struck Satan on an angle, causing him to ricochet around the chamber at the center of the Moon like a ping pong ball. More soldiers streamed in from outside the chamber and started firing at whatever was moving. Structural damage from the battle outside was causing the chamber to shake - and the battle was yet beginning. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Noooooo," Tane Tessier cried out. "That damn toaster is doing it *again*!" The sensor instruments continued to flash the toll the toaster was taking on her now severely-depleted mega-armada. Actually, the toaster was doing very little - it was just that every ship in Satan's fleet was firing at it, and was missing, and the errant firepower was decimating her fleet. "My lady, we've got to get away," Bob said. "I want that Eiffel Thing," Tane snarled. "But my lady, we're down to one ship...this one!" "No buts...return fi...*ack!*" Tane Tessier slumped to the floor of the bridge. Bob lifted her body into the command chair, and ordered the crew to guide the sole remaining ship of Tane's mega-armada the hell away from the system. As the ship blipped into overly-hyped space, Tane began to revive. "Bob..." she said, slowly. "Yes, my lady?" Bob asked, secure in the knowledge that his death was about to be ordered. "When is my first number?" Tane asked. "And what am I doing in this gaudy military-style outfit? You know I only give concerts au natural." "Um, tonight's concert is...er, cancelled," Bob said. "We're traveling en route to the next...um, concert." Inward, Bob was in a state of amazement. The prized blow on the head he had administered to Tane had adjusted her personality from ruthless art collector to concert singer, one who would prove to be quite popular, given the right manager... "Just trust me, your manager," Bob said quickly. Tane nodded and fell asleep again. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "I tell you, Ragnuruk, they're traitors!" Nat Rephue howled. "Not now, Nat," Ragnuruk replied. "I'm trying to steer this thing." "Mmmmmf!" Benchen and Katayin added. Being bound and gagged, they could not say a whole lot more, you see. That's kind of the point, really. "Look out!" Viol cried out. "The sensors say we're going to hit this 'Moon' of theirs!" Seconds later, the Toaster hit, causing a violent explosion. --------------------------------------------------------------------- "We...are...going...to...DIE...!" Shadebeam screamed in Slithis' ear. Slithis pulled her down as a violent green beam shot over them, creating a shattering impact somewhere. It was difficult to see, with smoke and soldiers of Hell obscuring the view, but the battle between Machiavelli, Satan, and Omegas was evidently reaching a fever pitch. A few meters away, Milagro Bekn'kse and Hourus Jebillip slipped past the soldiers blocking them from their ship and hid under it. "We're getting out of here," Milagro said. "Nothing can stop us now." Suddenly and without warning, a Toaster crashed through the other wall and landed directly on Milagro and Hourus' ship, utterly smashing it and the two con men as well. "Well, so much for taking them in," Time Agent 173 sniffed. "Get back here!" a voice from the Toaster declared. Through the chaos, Jerriphrrt could see two forms running towards them, pursued by a variety of similar forms. "It's the natives of Karma Chameleon II! Run!" The Anarchists ran, dodging laser fire from the natives, the soldiers, blasts from Satan/Omegas and/or Machiavelli, stray schrapnel, and unwanted offers to discuss their insurance needs. They found the Red Emma, which, amazingly, was still intact, although it's defensive screens were almost kaput. They stormed aboard, and started warming the ship for takeoff. "Get that landing gear up!" Jerriphrrt yelled. "They're following us in!" "That's Benjen!" Slithis declared. "Let him in!" The figure boarded, followed closely by another figure, who bowled over Slithis. There was a large, powerful explosion, that rocked the ship and stunned everybody. Tarrfel thought she saw someone else board in that moment, but she shook her head and saw no one, save the two natives of Karma Chameleon II who had boarded. "Benjen!" Jerriphrrt said. "Who's this? And why are you wearing that silly looking primitive clothing? I mean..." "Um, Jerriphrrt," Benjen said. "I'm behind you. That's not me." Jerriphrrt whirled, and regarded Benjen. He turned again to regard the newcomer. Then back to Benjen. Newcomer. Benjen. It was like Wimbledon. "My name is Benchen," Benchen said. "I must confess I am as greatly confused as you are. This is Katayin, my fiance, by the way. We were escaping from our fellows, who believe us to be traitors for being against throwing Gham there into the volcano." "Whatever, you're in," Emma said. "Close that damn ramp!" The ramp closed slowly, reluctantly, and the Red Emma punched out of the battle area, through the same hole that the Toaster came in. They covered the distance from the center of the moon to the surface in record time, exiting through the hole that the Toaster had made when they impacted on the surface, in the part that had been earlier hit by a bolt from the Red Emma (in RA #3), which had weakened that section of the surface so much that a tonka toy could have broken through. The ship threaded it's way through now silent battle cruisers of Hell, and the debris that had been Tane Tessier's armada. Behind them, the Moon exploded, showering the Earth with fragments of the hollow surface. Most of the fragments burned up on entry into Earth's atmosphere, but a few made it to the surface, mashing Sydney and Portland. Emma could see the Cosmic Cuisinart drifting, glowing with naked power, though she couldn't see any signs of a victor. But there had been one, she knew. But who...? WELL, WHO WON? HUH? DID THE TOASTER AND IT'S OCCUPANTS SURVIVE THE EXPLOSION? WILL TANE TESSIER BE A SUCCESSFUL CONCERT SINGER? ALL THIS AND HE'S STILL THE SAGE ON AN UPCOMING...SFSTORY! ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 27 Sep 1992 22:13:00 EDT Reply-To: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) Sender: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) From: i'm voting for harry truman (SWEDE at DRYCAS.BITNET) Subject: SF: Renegade Anarchists episode eighteen RENEGADE ANARCHISTS ON 45 Episode Eighteen: "Hostile Takeover" by Gary W. Olson "Well, what do we do now?" Jerriphrrt asked from where he lounged in a couch. Beside him, Tarrfel t'Krodkzik was going through all the wallets she had picked off of the demon-soldiers Satan had brought to the chamber in the center of the Moon. "A good question," Time Agent 173 said. "No matter whether Machiavelli or Satan T. Lucifer Jones and Omegas won the battle in the last episode, the victor undoubtedly has control of both Hell and the Hypernet. That means they can send ships anywhere in the galaxy, instantaneously, bypassing the defenses of any world they choose. It also gives them 10% off of every purchase out of the Fredericks of Hollywood catalog. Clearly, the sheer power this represents is insurmountable." "Oh, good," Slithis said. "That means we won't have to try and surmount it, and can just fly around and try to find a good party." "No, you dweeb," Shadebeam said, bapping Slithis. "We gotta do something, or Satan'll muck up every party place in the galaxy." "She's right," Emma added. "But what can we do?" "How about telling me and Benchen what happened?" Katayin asked. "We kinda just got here." Benjen handed Benchen a copy of the Renegade Anarchists episode synopsis, and he and Katayin looked at it. "We haven't really evolved literacy yet," Katayin added. "We'll breif you later," Emma said. "What about you?" "We were part of the expedition to capture Gham," Benchen said. "After months of flying around the galaxy in the space toaster that had been left on our planet, Karma Chameleon II, we learned of your location, and flew in. By that time, Katayin and I had decided it would be wrong to sacrafice Gham to the volcano god, and had planned to sabotage the effort to capture her. But Nat Rephue, the leader of the College Republicans on our ship, learned of our plans and warned Ragnuruk, who ordered us tied up." "Ragnuruk?" Benjen asked. "In the altiverse I come from, there was a fellow named Ragna Rok, who took the identity of Galaxy Hunter. Just like we are the same person, only from different altiverses. Only I've never met anyone like Katayin." Katayin rolled her eyes. "What about the Sage?" Time Agent 173 asked. "Surely, the Sage will know what to do." "Maybe he'll also tell us what happened to James Dean," Jerriphrrt mused. "But how will we pay him? We don't have all that much money." "I've taken care of that," Tarrfel announced, holding a fistful of varied monetary units. "Demons don't seem to have a lot of cash, since they prefer travelers checks, but this should cover our visit." "Then we're on our way," Emma said. -------------------------------------------------------------------- Around Earth, various debris was scattered. If there was atmosphere, I'd say the debris was scattered in de breeze, but there isn't, and it's not, so I won't. You're welcome. The Cosmic Cuisinart pulsed a bright green, casting an emerald pallor on the ships of Hell that were still clustered in the system. Slowly, a toaster started to fall to Earth, caught in the planets gravitational field. -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Wow, I'm glad I understand what's going on now," Benchen and Katayin said, having just been exhaustively briefed on everything that's happened from Renegade Anarchists #1 onward. Emma shushed them, and continued into the aged space station that was the home of the Sage. She pushed a button, and the door opened. "Where is he?" Gham asked. They looked around. The Sage's recliner was empty, although there was a half-full can of Pabst on the tv tray beside the recliner. There was the sound of flushing, and the Sage return to the room. "What?" the Sage said. "Oh, sorry! Was just...um...pondering the nature of the altiverse!" He hid the latest issue of PlayBeing behind his back. "I see you have some new faces since we last met," he went on. "For all you newcomers, I am the Sage! I know everything!" "Everything?" Katayin asked. "Everything!" the Sage boasted. "Ask away." "What should we do next?" Jerriphrrt asked. The Sage was silent, and extended his palm. Jerriphrrt took a bill from Tarrfel and gave it to the Sage. The Sage pocketed it, and answered. "You've really blown it, Anarchists," the Sage said. "Boy, have you blown it! In fact, you've got only one last chance to save the galaxy from total domination! Do you remember that odd depression in the Cosmic Cuisinart that you noticed?" "Um, yeah," Shadebeam said. "The really big one, you mean?" "Yes!" the Sage said. "Remarkably perceptive for someone whom I tower over in wisdom! The really big one was indeed the nub of my gist. Now, the Eiffel Thing gives the winner of the battle control over the hypernet - in effect, the winner controls three dimensions of space. However, there are more than three dimensions. "The Hypernet was designed as a four-dimensional hyperspatial matrix. The Eiffel Thing controlled the physical dimensions, but control over the fourth dimension, time, was assigned to a different object, an object that has been missing since time immemorial. Even Time Central does not know of the existance of this object, it's been missing so long. Omegas knows of it, though how he learned the information I do not know, and it can be safely assumed that the winner of the battle now knows, as well. You must find this object, before they do!" "What is this object?" Time Agent 173 asked. The Sage was silent. Tarrfel paid the Sage $20. The Sage spoke. "The object you seek..." "Yes?" the Anarchists said in unison. "is..." "*Yes?*" "You're sure you want to know?" "YES!" "Okay! Okay! The object you want is...THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM!" "THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM?" the Anarchists asked. "Will you stop talking in unison?" the Sage growled. "Yes, THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM!" "What's THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM?" Shadebeam asked. "And why is it always capitalized like that." "It's capitalized like that because sound effects like voice reverber- ations don't come across well in a text adventure," the Sage said. "THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM is the object that controls the time function of the Cosmic Cuisinart. You know it's approximate size, and when you see it, there won't be any mistaking it." "Where is it?" Tarrfel asked. The Sage was silent. Tarrfel tried to give the Sage another $20, but the Sage refused the bill. "No one knows where THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM is," the Sage said. "I thought you said you knew everything," Benjen accused. "I do!" the Sage said. "I'm the Sage! I'm the only one who knows that no one knows where THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM is!" Emma sighed. "Okay. Just one more question." Tarrfel slipped the Sage a ten dollar bill. "Who won the battle between Satan and Machiavelli?" "Why don't you just ask Mr. Jones himself?" the Sage said, pocketing the bill. "He's standing right behind you." "Satan!" Emma said, shocked. Satan T. Lucifer Jones stood in the doorway, looking like he had just gone through hell. "But if you're here, then that means..." --------------------------------------------------------------------- "I am the new ruler of Hell!" Machiavelli announced, striding onto the bridge of the flagship of Hell. A demon guard moved to stop him, but Machiavelli merely glanced in his direction, and the guard spontaneously combusted. "I have defeated Satan T. Lucifer Jones and the whole force of Hell combined, with the power of the Cosmic Cuisinart. Announce this to all of Hell, effective immediately." The bridge crew gulped, but complied. Machiavelli smiled and went down the corridor. He threw open the door to Satan's office. Susan B. Anthony looked up from her paperwork and gasped. "No need to be alarmed, my dear," Machiavelli said, striding into the room. "You'll still be my Chief Secretary." "How did you manage to defeat Satan?" Susan asked. "I caused his energy focusing device to short out," Machiavelli said. "Not terribly sporting of me, but it did make things easier. As for Omegas, I have no idea where he is now, but I doubt he's in any shape to challenge my power, nor is Satan, who managed to escape with the Renegade Anarchists." "I...see," Susan said. "Do you have any instructions?" "On what?" Machiavelli asked. "We have numerous plots and schemes being run, in this altiverse and the Superguy altiverse," Susan said. "Shall we suspend these operations, pending your review?" "Certainly not!" Machiavelli replied. "I order that all plots, schemes, intrigues, and other errata terra nova redundata, be continued. Even with all the changes I intend to implement, I find it desirable to maintain a sense of continuity." Machiavelli threw open the door to Satan's inner office. "As for this paperwork..." Beams of green light shot out of Machiavelli, striking the mounds and mounds of paperwork that were piled chesthigh around the office. The piles flared and disappeared. Machiavelli turned back to Susan, a dark look on his face, his eyes glowing a sinister emerald green. "Also effective immediately - screw the paperwork." Susan gulped. "Yes, sir." "Okay," Machiavelli said. "There was a plot I remember from a while ago, regarding the elections in the Superguy altiverse. Is that plot still going forwards?" "Not very quickly, but yes," Susan said. "Agents Kinison and Perkins are carrying it out, and Agent Truman has just contacted Bush." "I'll want to talk to Kinison and Perkins," Machiavelli said. "Tell me when you've established visual and audio contact." ------------------------------------------------------------------ In the Superguy altiverse, the head waiter placed a sign on the wall of Fong's House of Oriental Delights. It read "under new management", in chinese. ------------------------------------------------------------------ "I'm ruined," Satan said, sitting in a barc-a-lounger. "All I've worked for, all I've slaved for, is gone. After centuries of causing terror in the hearts of beings all across the galaxy, after centuries of torture and plotting and scheming, I'm...unemployed!" It was nearly a full minute before the Anarchists stopped laughing. "Come on, you've got to help me!" Satan told them. "Without Hell...I'm like...like..." "Like a fish without a bicycle!" Jerriphrrt said, brightly. "Like Walter Cronkite, only uglier!" Tarrfel giggled. "Like a really sleazy day at Six Flags over Topeka!" Slithis added. "Stop it!" Satan said. "I can help you find THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM! I know all sorts of secret hidden places in this galaxy. I know how to evade the ships of Hell. And...I know what those unlabeled switches on your ship do!" "Why should we help you?" Emma asked. "If you get control of Hell again, you'll just keep trying to capture us." "Grrrrr...okay!" Satan said. "If you let me join you, I promise that, once I'm in control of Hell again, I will decree that I have no claim on your soul, or the souls of anyone in your crew, for now and evermore. You will be, in effect, free of me forever." "How can we trust your promises?" Gham asked. "Sigh," Satan sighed. "Cross my heart and hope to die, stick a needle in my eye." "Even Satan cannot break a vow such as that," the Sage said. "It is the most binding vow anyone can make." "Okay," Emma said, holding out a hand, reluctantly. "Welcome to the Renegade Anarchists, Satan T. Lucifer Jones." WILL SATAN T. LUCIFER JONES MAKE A GOOD ANARCHIST? WILL MACHIAVELLI IMPROVE HELL? IS ANYONE ON THE SPACE TOASTER ALIVE? WHERE IS THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM? ARE THERE TOO MANY ANARCHISTS AS IT IS? DO WE REALLY NEED MORE? DO YOU HEAR WHAT I HEAR? ALL THIS AND THE SEARCH BEGINS ON AN UPCOMING...SFSTORY! ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 4 Oct 1992 20:21:00 EDT Reply-To: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) Sender: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) From: welcome to the faith dome explosion (SWEDE at DRYCAS.BITNET) Subject: SF: Renegade Anarchists episode nineteen RENEGADE ANARCHISTS ON THE ROAD AGAIN Episode Nineteen: "The Color of Hell" by Gary W. Olson "Gentlemen," Machiavelli said, from behind his desk, which used to belong to Satan T. Lucifer Jones. "Welcome." "Um, thanks, boss," Milagro Bekn'kse said. Behind him, Hourus Jebillip gulped and smiled weakly. "Can we sit down?" "But of course," Machiavelli said, and clapped his hands. A couple demon servants came in, carrying chairs, and quickly exited. Machiavelli gestured, and Milagro and Hourus took their seats. "I like the glowing green eyes, boss," Milagro said. "Thank you," Machiavelli replied. "Now, as you are no doubt acutely aware, you two are dead." "We were alerted to this," Milagro said. "We died when we were crushed under our ship by a toaster of some kind." "Precisely," Machiavelli said. "Yet, had it not been for your service to me, in stealing the Eiffel Thing, which allowed me to harness the power of the Cosmic Cuisinart and defeat Satan T. Lucifer Jones, thus allowing me to take control of Hell, none of us would be here. So, in repayment for the role you played in my ascent to power, I am going to make you members of Hell's Board of Directors." "Board of Directors?" Hourus asked. "I was told this was a public institution - you know, like the Galactic Reserve Bank, or Wal-Mart." "It *was*," Machiavelli said. "I have come to the conclusion, over my centuries in Hell, that it was an enormously inefficient operation, wraught with bloat and incredible mismanagement. Our share in the afterlife industry is dropping like a rock. Our cash flow isn't doing so, and frankly, our image among mortals age 18-35 is far too low. No one wants to go to Hell anymore! "That is why I've decided to take Hell corporate," Machiavelli said. "As of tomorrow, the first share of stock in Hell will be going on sale on the New York Stock Exchange on Earth tomorrow, with shares to be offered in the coming weeks in the stock markets on Gibblegrum, on Kookamonga IX, on Planet California, as well as Earth-Superguy. Naturally, I will retain 51% of the stock, thus retaining complete control of Hell. But the stock should provide us with lots of new revenue. You, Milagro, will be the Director in charge of Finance. "That's very generous of you, boss," Milagro said. "But I don't think I really want to--" "Of course, if you refuse, I'll have Joan of Arc give you a spontaneous sex change operation with a rusty hacksaw..." "--to...to refuse, that is! I don't want to refuse!" "Excellent," Machiavelli said, lighting a cigar with a blast of green light. "As for you, Hourus, you're going to be in charge of marketing." "M-m-m-marketing?" Hourus asked. "Of course, marketing!" Machiavelli said. "Hell needs a new image. Some- thing that's in synch with the 90's. Sexy, flashy...just a sec. Hey, Susan! Is Cindy Crawford dead?" "No she's not!" Susan called back from the front office. Machiavelli snapped his fingers. "Well, you'll think of something else, Hourus. Otherwise...klzzzzktch!" Machiavelli slid his finger over his throat as he did so. The finger actually tore *through* Machiavelli's throat, and an eerie green light poured out. Hourus gulped and nodded vigorously as the skin sealed itself up. "Great! Now get outta here. Susan! Get Hoover, Poe and Goebbels in." --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Wait, wait, wait," Satan T. Lucifer Jones said. "What about James Dean? I killed him, back in episode thirteen, and he turned out to be a robot? What gives?" The Sage looked at him evenly. "Well? Oh, yes..." Satan rummaged around his pockets. "Um...no, wait... maybe in here...I...er...I seem to be a bit...um...financially embarassed." "What's that, lad?" Tarrfel asked. "Ye don't have a cent on ye?" "No! I'm Satan! I've never had to carry cash before. Usually, when I want something, I simply go into a solar system, threaten to take it unless they give it to me, and then usually destroy the solar system anyway." "Well, we'll loan you the money," Emma said. "Thank you, my dear..." "Which you'll have to repay." "Rrrr...thank...you..." "With interest." "How...much...interest?" "Two percent." "Phwew!" Satan sighed a breath of relief. "Compounded hourly." "Hourly?!" Satan said. "That's outrageous! That's despicable! That... you know, I wish I had thought of that. Sigh...okay, I agree. When I get Hell back, I'll be more than able to repay you." Tarrfel gave Satan a $20 bill, which Satan gave to the Sage. "Your fellow Anarchists," the Sage said. "Have theorized that the James Dean that you killed in your office was substituted at some time during their original flight from Hell. They are incorrect. The James Dean you slew was the same one that arrived in Hell immediately after he died. "Then, that would mean..." Shadebeam began. "Don't interrupt me!" the Sage screamed. "I am the Sage!" "Go ahead, dorkmeister," Shadebeam replied. Gham giggled. "As I was saying!" the Sage continued. "This means that the James Dean that was on Earth was a robot, although he was one so cleverly designed, that nothing could detect that he was not an organic being." "So, the real James Dean was a robot?" Time Agent 173 asked. "No, no, no!" the Sage said. "The James Dean that was on *Earth* was a robot. The Real James Dean is something else entirely." "Which is?" Satan prompted. The Sage looked at him silently. "Oh, come on! Please?" The Sage stayed silent. "It doesn't matter," Jerriphrrt stated. "We have to find THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM, not the Real James Dean." "Jerri's right," Emma said. "Get up, Satan, you smoldering pile of bayou biscuits. We've got a ZAMBONI to find." "And where, my dear, do you suggest we look?" Satan asked, a thin smile on his face. "I don't know," Emma was forced to admit. "If *only* we had someone to guide us..." "This is a job..." a sublimely heroic voice said, "for...ZEN NAVIGATOR!" "Oh, don't tell me *you* get *your* name in caps, too?" Katayin asked. ------------------------------------------------------------------ Omegas stirred. Omegas stirred some more. Omegas added some milk and creamer, then sipped the java. "Bleah!" he commented. "Hey guard!" Bennett Quark called out. "This coffee sucks!" "Hey, it's Hells Brothers, whad'ya expect?" a demon guard growled. "This is some fine how-do-you-do," Omegas grumbled. "Me, a big name sfstory villain, imprisoned in Hell, being served bad coffee, stuck in here with a supposedly mad genius who whines more than Woody Allen." "That's not very nice," Bennett commented. "Of course it's not nice! I'm a villain!" "Oh, that's right. Never mind, then." There was a noise in the hall. The guard heard it and moved off, his hellfire pistol at ready. After he was gone, another figure entered from the other end of the hallway, and came up to the cell. "You are the villain Omegas?" the figure asked. "Why, yes, I am," Omegas said, flattered that someone recognized him. "My name is Lenin," the figure said. "I have an offer for you and Mr. Quark..." ------------------------------------------------------------------ "MIS-ter Hoover," Machiavelli said, pacing around J. Edgar Hoover, Edgar Allen Poe, and Goebbels, all of whom were standing rigidly at attention. "It would seem I am your new boss now." "Yeth thir!" Hoover said, his teeth clenched. "You know," Machiavelli continued. "I recall how you thought you had maneuvered me out of my position as Satan's Cheif of Coversion. Naturally, this was part of my plan - the only lucky part was that I had someone as truly blockheaded as yourself to not catch on to what I was doing. "Mein fuhrer..." Goebbels began. "Don't start that with me!" Machiavelli said, singing Goebbels mustache off with a green blast. "Ooch!" Goebbels said. "Mein...er, sir. Ve have control of the Hypernet. Vhen vill ve be striking out against the galaxy?" "At once," Machiavelli said. "In fact, you will be personally commanding the mission against the core systems. The fleet is dispersing from Earth as we speak. Better get going!" Goebbels ran out of the office. "Uh, sir," Poe asked, his voice quivering. "What are you going to do to--er, with us?" "You two still have to complete the mission you were previously charged with," Machiavelli said. "You must locate the Red Emma and bring it back." "Satan has likely joined forces with the Anarchists," Hoover said. "Of course he has!" Machiavelli said. "Very good, Hoover! You're learning. Think for a moment. I know it's difficult, but please try. What was Satan's favorite color?" "Uh...red?" "Exactly! And what other things do we know that are red?" "Um...the Soviet flag?" "Correct!" Machiavelli said. "Satan is obviously a communist. Now, what is my favorite color?" "Well, this is just a wild guess, but...green?" "Correct! Green, the color of money, is the color of Hell!" "I see!" Hoover exclaimed, suddenly inspired. "I'll catch those reds, sir! You can count on me! C'mon, Poe!" Poe gulped as Hoover tugged him out of the office. -------------------------------------------------------------------- On Earth, the people were still recovering from being shot up and bombarded from the recent battle in space around Earth. They saw there was no longer a Moon in the sky, but there was a giant, glowing green thing that was shaped like a cuisinart floating about. It was a thing that occasioned much debate, and not a small amount of drinking. So, when the populace of Juneau, Alaska, saw a giant toaster plummeting towards them at great speeds, they merely assumed it was just a byproduct of said drinking. This proved to be untrue when the Toaster impacted on the city, causing the city to blow up. The smoke cleared, revealing a huge crater, where Juneau used to be. At the center of the crater, on it's side, a large, spacegoing Toaster rested. Many moments passed. Eventually, a door opened, and a head popped out. "Sorry!" Ragnuruk called out. "Didn't mean to blow up your city!" --------------------------------------------------------------------- "Are you saying you can guide us to THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM?" Benjen asked. "Of course!" Zen Navigator said. "My powers of Amazing Zen Awareness will lead us to it!" "Aren't you involved in that search for Planet BBC storyline?" Satan asked. "Let me think," Zen mused. "Ah...yes, I believe I was. Of course, I do so much time and dimensional traveling, that I could be involved in any number of totally different storylines simultaneously. Aren't you involved in some sort of storyline involving a twinkie?" "What?" Satan asked. "Oh, that...I bulk-taped a bunch of Tales of a Junk Food Confection episodes over the summer. Didn't know if they'd ever get around to showing them." "We've got your psychadaelic VW minibus in the cargo hold," Tarrfel said to Zen. "We're ready to go." With that, the Red Emma left the Sage's space station, to search for THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM. WILL ZEN NAVIGATOR GUIDE THEM TO THE ZAMBONI OF DOOM? WAS THE TOASTER SCRATCHED? WILL HELL BECOME AN ATTRACTIVE INVESTMENT? WHAT PROPOSITION DOES LENIN HAVE FOR OMEGAS? IS BENNETT QUARK REALLY WOODY ALLEN IN DISGUISE? ALL THIS AND HELL'S NEW IMAGE ON AN UPCOMING...SFSTORY! ========================================================================= Date: Sun, 11 Oct 1992 09:53:00 EDT Reply-To: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) Sender: UCF SUPERGUY List (SUPERGUY at UCF1VM.BITNET) From: welcome to the faith dome explosion (SWEDE at DRYCAS.BITNET) Subject: SF: Renegade Anarchists episode twenty RENEGADE ANARCHISTS IN STOCK Episode Twenty: "I Know a Wiener Man, He Owns a Hot Dog Stand..." by Gary W. Olson "Left hand...red..." Satan said, his words straining. "Aggh...I can't... reach...ow!" Satan slipped and fell on the Twister mat, tripping up Jerriphrrt as he fell. Gham jumped up and squealed with joy, as she had won yet another game of "Twister". "Oh, my back," Satan T. Lucifer Jones moaned, crawling his way to a seat. "When I get back to Hell, I'm going to have to replace the rack with this game. Owowowowowow..." "Oh, you big baby," Gham teased, while she helped Jerriphrrt up. "Were you hurt? You're all banged up. Tell me where it hurts..." "My back," Satan moaned, "and my elbows, and my shoulders...ow...and..." "Not you, silly," Gham said. "Jerri here." Jerriphrrt grinned sheepishly (or cattily, given his species), and Satan sighed. "Hey, Zen Moron," Satan yelled. "You figured out where we oughta be, yet? I gotta get off this nut tub!" "Have patience!" Zen Navigator said in a heroic voice. "My Amazing Zen Awareness is directing us to where we ought to go." "Oh, by the gods," Benchen moaned. "That's what you said six planets ago. I mean, are we even getting close?" "It is clear," Zen said, "that you doubt my brilliant abilities, stagger- ing though that doubt is. Very well, I tell you, on the next planet, we shall learn where the ZAMBONI OF DOOM is located!" "Just so long as it's a planet with a good duty-free shop," Shadebeam grumbled. "I'm all outa cigarettes, and we don't dare use the Hypernet, since Machiavelli took control of it." Emma Goldman nodded her head. "The Core systems are under heavy attack. Hell has been able to use the Hypernet to bypass all the defense systems. Once they have the core secured, they'll be able to launch an attack on the eastern spiral, and the best western spiral, and the spirograph spiral." "Planet's coming in sight," Benjen said. "It's the Planet Wedonknownuthinboutnozamboni," Slithis added. Third planet from the sun in the Zamboni?neverheardofit System. Zen, are you sure we'll find something here?" "Of course!" Zen Navigator beamed. "My navigational sense is infallible! It's my destinations that tend to get lost." "Right," Time Agent 173 said. "Everyone had a line to say? Good, we're landing now. Strap yourselves in." "You heard her," Katayin said, snuggling next to Benjen. "We'd better strap in." "Er, yoo hoo!" Benchen said. "That's Benjen. I'm Benchen, over here. Your fiance, remember?" "Oh...that's right!" Katayin said. Benjen sighed as Katayin left him and snuggled next to Benchen. "You just look so much alike, it's confusing." "Anybody got a band-aid?" Satan asked plaintively. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Sir!" Edgar Allen Poe said. "We've got a fix on the Red Emma! One of the Eyes of the Hypernet witnessed them landing on Planet Wedonknownuthinbout- nozamboni." "Excellent!" J. Edgar Hoover said. "Before, we never would have made it there in time. But now that Hell has control of the Hypernet..." "Uh, sir, that's Hell, Inc." "Grrr...now that Hell, *Inc.*, has control of the Hypernet (razznfrazzn bureaucratic commies...), we can get there in seconds. Set course!" With that, the PLS Tell-Tale Heart lumbered into one of the glowing Eyes of the Hypernet that drifted, now constantly alight, near the flagship of Hell, and disappeared. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hello, big boy," singing sensation Tane Tessier cooed. "You know, a gal like me knows there's only one place to go when you die, and that's Hell. It's the hottest place around, and everyone who's anyone is there or on their way, including me." Tane rolled on her back, her body covered only by a thin red silk sheet. "So, sign your soul away today, and we can have a really... horny...time." Tane giggled, the number (666) 666-6666 flashed on the screen, and the monitor flickered off. "Well, sir?" Hourus Jebillip, the Marketing Director on Hell's newly formed Board of Directors, asked. "Whad'ya think? We've been test-marketing it on selected planets, and we've already seen a 666% increase in soul signings. You know, I never thought much of her as a menacing rich art collector, but she's great as a concert performer. Why, I was talking to her manager, Bob, and..." "Quiet," Machiavelli grumbled. "It's perfect. Run the ad and the others you've developed in full circulation, in prime time spots in the Sfstory altiverse and the Superguy altiverse. Milagro - you've got a report on how stock in Hell, Inc. is selling." "Yes, sir," Milagro Bekn'kse replied. "Our stock is red hot on the intergalactic stock exchanges. It's been burning up the market, and already, a quarter of the stock available for sale has been sold. There's one more thing, too..." "Yeah, what is it?" Machiavelli said, his eyes flashing an angry green. "There's this Author, you see," Milagro said. "He's called the Man With Two First Names. He wants to buy some stock, you see. About 25%, which would make him the second biggest stockholder, and put him on the board of directors. He's on line 6 right now." "So he is, is he," Machiavelli said. "Okay, patch him through." Machiavelli picked up the phone. "Hello, Mr. With Two First Names. Oh, just call you Bill? ...okay. Uh huh. Uh-HUH. No kiddin. A midget...with a camcorder...a saint bernard...delta burke...greased hamsters...hahahahahhaha! That's a great joke, Bill, great. Now, about this stock thing, I can't really sell it too you. Why? Well, uh, basically, I'm evil. No, really, I am. I'm evil like you just wouldn't believe. Listen...I don't *care* if you're an Author. The answer's still no. Well, if you must know, I don't like how you've been stringing out my plot to capture the presidency on Earth-Superguy. I'm on a timetable, man, do you hear me, a timetable!" Machiavelli paused, and listened to a strong, angry bit of cursing from the telephone. "Why, thank you!" he said at the end of it. "But flattery will get you nowhere. Now...now...settle down, Mr. Paul, or I'll get rough. Mr. Paul...oh, take this!" A green bolt shot out from Machiavelli's eyes into the telephone receiver. There was a yelping sound. "Yes, I know I fried your eyebrows clean off. That was just a warning, you here me? I rule here! Oh yeah...yeah, you're gonna get back at me, sure. Do your worst, Mr. Hot-Shot Big Time Author. I--hello? hello? Damn, he hung up." Machiavelli shrugged as he set the phone back down. "Thank you for your report, Milagro. I'll let you keep your major organs intact." "Now, it has come to my attention, that employees have been abusing their one toilet break per week," Machiavelli went on. "I'm sorry, but we all have to tighten our belts, if we want Hell, Inc. to become a truly staggeringly profitable enterprise. And this habit of having to sleep will just have to be stopped. It's just eating into the amount of hours I can get from you. Are there any questions?" Naturally, there were none - the other members of the board knew there would be trouble if they said anything. "Very well, you're dismissed." The board members fled the room, and Machiavelli chuckled. Soon, the galaxy would be under his grasp. If only he could find the ZAMBONI OF DOOM, which he learned of from the Cosmic Cuisinart, then he would be the master of the galaxy for all eternity, since the centuries would no longer be a barrier to his ships. ------------------------------------------------------------------- "The ZAMBONI OF DOOM? Never heard of it," the mayor replied. "Would you care to see the GOLF CART OF GENOCIDE instead? Or maybe the MOPED OF MADNESS? We can tell you exactly where those are. But we don't know anything about any ZAMBONI OF DOOM." "He lies," Gham said. "I can sense it." "You'd better tell us where the ZAMBONI is," Slithis threated. "Or..." "Or what?" the mayor asked, unperturbed. "Or I threaten you some more!" Slithis announced. The mayor rolled his eyes. Resting her head on Slithis' shoulder, Shadebeam rolled her eyes. "Forget it," Time Agent 173 said. "He's not talking. No one on this stupid planet will talk about the ZAMBONI. We're back where we started." "But these people are the only people who know where the ZAMBONI is!" Zen Navigator said. "My infallible Amazing Zen Awareness tells me this." "Wait, I've got an idea," Satan T. Lucifer Jones said. "Sir, my companions and I are on a mission, one that will hopefully result in my being reinstated as head honcho of Hell." "Hell?" the mayor asked. "How about that! I just bought a couple shares this morning. Looks like it's gonna be a real sizzler." "Well," Satan said. "Once I get back my former despised position back, I'll be in a position where I can reward you very extravagently...money... women...substances of an illicit nature..." "Aw, I get all those now," the mayor replied. "I could give you a seat on the Board of Directors," Satan said. "You could?" the mayor said, his eyes lighting up. "If you do that, it's a deal!" "Okay...hmmm...I don't seem to have any of the standard contracts on me...oh, here's one. I'll just cross out 'soul ownership transfer agree- ment' here, and write in 'board of directors application.'" The mayor filled it out. "Don't worry about that mandatory 50 hours of community pain. Directors get to skip that requirement. Same with the Steven Seagal rectal exam. Just sign down here, in blood, if you please. Thank you." Satan rolled up the contract and tucked it away. "The ZAMBONI," the mayor whispered, "is..." "Yes?" Emma murmured. "On..." the mayor said. "Yes??" Benjen and Benchen said. "You sure you're ready for this?" "YES!!" the Anarchists said in unison. "It's on Planet Earth," the mayor said. "Planet Earth?" Emma asked, confused. "We were just there a while ago." "And you must return," the mayor answered. "Did you think the ZAMBONI would be so far away from the Cosmic Cuisinart? Think again." "Where on Earth is the ZAMBONI?" Katayin asked. "That, even I don't know," the mayor said. "Hey, just remember, you didn't hear ANY of this from me, got it?" "Right," Jerriphrrt said. "Come on, kids, let's go!" He grabbed Gham by the hand and raced out the door, followed by the rest of the Anarchists. The mayor watched them leave, impassively. After he saw their spaceship rising into the atmosphere, he took off his groucho glasses and nose. The Anarchists would have been very surprised to learn that the mayor of Planet Wedonknownuthinboutnozamboni looked exactly like James Dean. -------------------------------------------------------------------- "Are you sure this is a good idea?" Nat Rephue asked Ragnuruk. "Of course it is," Ragnuruk asked. He cracked the whip again, and the sled dogs pulled harder. Polar bears, had they the capacity to be stunned by such things, would have been stunned to see a large toaster skidding over the ice and snow of Alaska, heading north, pulled by a large team of sled dogs. "We've got to find a place to hide out on this planet while we repair the Toaster's engines." "I don't think the people in that town we just passed liked it very much when we blew up their town," Viol added. "Otherwise, they would have helped us. But we did get a nice souvenier." Viol held up the stuffed moose head, to emphasize his point. "I keep telling you - steer *around* the gas tankers," Nootgingitch said. "But do you listen? No! Now CBS' fall lineup is all screwed up." "Ah, don't bug me," Ragnuruk grumbled. The toaster sledded off into the icy whiteness of the Great White North (coo-loo-coo-coo-coo-coo-COO-COO!). -------------------------------------------------------------------- Susan B. Anthony stepped through a door, and was quickly pulled inside. The door was shut, and a dim light finally came on. She recognized those gathered with her: Lenin, Mao Tse-Tung, Karl Marx, Bennett Quark, the Omnipotent Eggbeater, the Grand High Spatula, and..." "Omegas!" she gasped. "Yes, Omegas," Omegas said, vaguely irritated. "Thank you for attending, my dear," Lenin said. "I know it must not have been easy slipping away from Machiavelli, since he does not need sleep." "He's in meditation with the Cosmic Cuisinart," Susan said. "Says he's looking for a ZAMBONI of some kind. Don't know what he means." Omegas started perceptibly at the mention of the ZAMBONI. Bennett Quark nearly fainted. "At any rate, we may not have much time left to strike," Karl Marx said. "The communist revolution in Hell was a disaster, but this current conspiracy must not fail, else Hell, Inc, will be with us forever, as will Machiavelli. Once he's overthrown, Hell shall no longer be so Hellish!" "Well said," Omegas complimented Marx. "Now, let us make plans." Inwardly, he grinned. The Cuisinart would be his, yet, along with the might of Hell itself. WILL THE CONSPIRACY SUCCEED? WHY DOES THE MAYOR OF PLANET WEDONKNOWNUTHINBOUTNOZAMBONI LOOK LIKE JAMES DEAN? WILL THE ANARCHISTS ESCAPE FROM HOOVER AND POE? WILL JERRIPHRRT, SLITHIS AND BENJEN APPEAR ON THE TV SHOW "STUDS"? WILL THE MAN WITH TWO FIRST NAMES STRIKE BACK AT MACHIAVELLI FOR NOT SELLING HIM STOCK IN HELL, INC? ALL THIS AND THE BABY BOOM BOOMS ON AN UPCOMING...SFSTORY!Main Sfstory Page Previous Log Next Log Index for Logs 031-060


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https://www.shannonebeling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Logo.png 0 0 shannon https://www.shannonebeling.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/01/Logo.png shannon2014-01-13 20:35:082014-01-28 15:58:50Geelong Summer Music Camp 2014
Friday 17th January, 7pm
Geelong Summer Music Camp 2014
I will be tutoring saxophonists and directing the Stage Band at my third Geelong Summer Music Camp this year. The theme is 'Music by Australians' with each ensemble presenting some homegrown repertoire. The Stage Band will be performing Dialmentia by Tim Davies and premiere a new composition by Kym Dillon titled 'At Thirteenth'.
Come along to the Finale concert to have a listen to some great local talent.
Friday 17th January, 7pm
Costa Hall, Geelong Waterfront
Tickets $10

subset: commoncrawl


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Now go outside and look at the sky.
Kodak Duex
This is my latest vintage camera - the Kodak Duex.
The Kodak Duex is a very unusal 620-format camera with a helical telescoping lens cylinder made from bakelite, creating photos with a negative size of 6x4.5cm. It was only made for a very short time from 1940-42 at a cost of $6, approximately $167 in todays money using the unskilled wage index.
The Duex is very simple with essentially no controls other than a B/I switch and the shutter, both of which are at the front of the lens assembly and are a little bit awkward to reach while looking through the viewfinder. The simple, spring-loaded shutter button has a lot of travel before the shutter fires, which makes it hard to get steady shots at the fixed 1/30th speed. There is no double-exposure protection.
The camera feels very different from most other Kodaks of the 1930s and 40s due to the lens mechanism and the materials used and it's a rather rare camera nowadays since it was only made for two years during World War II and other than a low price had not much else going for it.
With modern eyes, the Duex has a certain late-Art-Deco charm all its own and the sturdiness and simplicity of its construction makes it an easy, carefree and light travel companion, something that can't be said about many medium format cameras.
As with other 620 format cameras, it can still be used with re-rolled 120 film, since both film formats are the same size, only the spools are slightly different between them.
Like many of the simple 620 format cameras that Kodak made over the years, it can produce surprisingly good photos. Daylight photos generally came out a little soft in focus, with a mild camera shake due to the problematic placement of the shutter button being the main cause.
Here is a shot of the San Francisco Ferry Terminal in heavy fog taken with the Duex. The Doublet lens has the typical 1930s/40s era depth of field, which gives these photos their distinctive old-fashioned look.


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In my last post I wrote about emergencies that happen to pilots and entrepreneurs. I pointed out that emergencies consume most of our mental energy and focus. I also noted that it's often the case that the primary emergency isn't the thing that is ultimately the most dangerous. Often, it's something we didn't see coming because we were so focused on the other, lesser emergency.How can we be sure that when we face emergencies in our business lives that we are prepared, not only to deal with them, but also to make sure we are not consumed by something else in the meantime? Plan, monitor, and check.
Pilots are a worthwhile group of people to consider in this respect. Pilots:
- monitor their situation constantly
- assess their current status and risk
- consider constantly their options in the event of emergency
- have a preplanned set of actions ready in the event of emergency
- use a checklist to make sure they haven't overlooked anything when dealing with an emergency
This is an excellent template to use in running our insurance businesses!
Most of the things that can kill a small business are known: cash flow, loss of customers, loss of product to sell, employee problems, economic downturns, etc. There are usually some things unique to a given industry that also can kill you: a hardening insurance market, insurance carriers changing how they deal with agencies, etc. The important thing is to consider what the risks are, so that they are identified.
Then, for each risk consider how you would recognize the early warning signs that something is about to happen. You don't need to dwell on these things, but having identified them, monitor your situation so you'll recognize a problem before it gets out of control. As you monitor your business, you need to regularly and constantly assess your status.
This is the part where you need to ask yourself questions about what is going on, whether anything unusual is developing, and if it is, what your options may be for dealing with it. Have your sales been decreasing? Are your employees complaining a lot about something? Are insurance companies treating you differently or changing your quotas? Pay attention to the signs, and read them for warning signs.
Pilots consider their options before the emergency strikes. For example, if the engine fails right now I can land on that road directly in front of me. Similarly, a well prepared business person has preplanned contingency actions for the minor or major catastrophes that can happen - your best insurance agent quits, a buy-sell agreement comes through, your main carrier lowers their commissions. This plan is reviewed periodically as the business owner considers their options. If your sales have been low for a few months, it's time to take action: talk to your sales team, invest in marketing, lower your expenses, expand your operations... Act while there is still plenty of time to course-correct instead of just thinking it will go away on its own.
Finally, the pilot uses a checklist to be sure he didn't forget to deal with all the important issues in an emergency. He doesn't want to be killed by the smoke while worrying about the fire. The well-prepared business person also has thought about all the things that need to be reviewed when an emergency strikes, and they have a checklist somewhere to make sure everything is covered. A good example of this is the event of succession and estate planning - if something were to happen to you, who will run your insurance agency? A family member? A member of staff? Business contingency planning must include all possible scenarios, so that if they come to pass you can deal with them smoothly and effectively.
Remember the three main elements of insurance agency contingency planning:
- Plan: Know the signs for most possible situations, and have a list of actions at hand in case they happen.
- Monitor: identify signs of things going wrong before they actually go wrong.
- Check: follow your handy checklist if you see enough warning signs, to control a bad situation before it becomes critical
Consider how you'll respond when an emergency strikes, for it will surely happen!
Always keen on helping others make their dreams come true, Tony and his team have helped independent agents grow into more than 250 independent agencies. This has made OAA the number one ranked Strategic Master Agency of SIAA for the last 5 years, and one of Oklahoma's 25 Best Companies to Work for.
Tony loves to share his knowledge, insight and wisdom through his bestselling books as well as in free mediums including podcasts and blogs.
Tony and his family are members of Crossings Community Church, and he is very active in community initiatives: he's chairman of It's My Community Initiative, Inc., a nonprofit working with disadvantaged people in Oklahoma City; and chairman of the Oklahoma Board of Juvenile Affairs., and he has served through many other organizations including the Salvation Army, Last Frontier Council of the Boy Scouts of America, and the Rotary Club.
In his spare time, Tony enjoys time with his family. He's also an active outdoorsman and instrument-rated commercial pilot.
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The times, as they say, they are a'changing! And they're changing even faster and more drastically than most people in the insurance sector have seen. While digital transformation ...
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Growth is an important concept in any industry. Many independent insurance agency owners want to scale because they want to grow their book of business.


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A rousing, action-packed urban fantasy…
With nonstop action and twists that keep the reader guessing, Scott's second installment in the Broken Revelations series sees Adrien and his Nephal companions in a fierce battle with the enemies. With Heaven's fall and Hell's rise, the Pegan gods are finally free, roaming the earth and bringing destruction in their wake. Adrien is still struggling to adjust in his new world. When Dominess, the Draconian ruler, assigns him to stop the Angels and Demons from destroying the city in their endless feaud, Adrien has no option but take the assignment or risk annihilation. The main story is bracketed by ongoing intrigue between angels, demons, falling angels, and Pegan gods. The plot is tightly crafted and efficiently executed, and high action and characters' lighthearted banter keep fans entertained. Adrien is a fascinating protagonist, who despite his limitations and a laid-back attitude knows exactly when it's time to make tough choices. The uncomfortable notion of "brides of war" is balanced by the female characters', especially Rosa's invincible spirit. This entertaining urban fantasy is both fun and gritty.
Broken Revelations
Brides of War (Broken Revelations Book 2)
By Albert Scott
Pub date September 3, 2020
Price $1.02 (USD) Kindle edition, $8.25 Paperback


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The Bridge Personality 16 Jung Types + 4-color report
The well-known 4-color model (blue, red, yellow, green). It provides insight into personal preferences in an easy to use and remembered way. It is precisely this simplicity that makes the model so popular: tell me what your first color is, and I know (better) how to interact or communicate with you.
Why the 16 Jung Types + 4-color report
The Bridge Personality 16 Jung Types + Color report is the most comprehensive Bridge Personality report. In addition to scores on the 34 competences and the Jung Type of the candidate, this report provides insight into behavioral preferences using the easy and accessible 4-color model (blue, green, red and yellow) and offers concrete tools for the development of work performance on an individual, team and organization level.
- Can be ordered as a separate test (per candidate) or via your own account on the Bridge assessment platform.
- Nice and comprehensive personality report;
- Suitable for coaching and development;
- To be used as a custom report: select the desired competencies yourself;
- Measure whether your candidate has been honest during the completion;
- Available in 20 languages, including Dutch, English, German, French and Spanish.
The 4-color model
The well-known 4-color model is based on the ideas of Carl Gustav Jung. The Swiss psychologist and psychiatrist introduced the concept of psychological preferences. The Bridge Personality links those preferences to 4 colors. They give you an appealing insight into your own reactions and behavior and help you to understand why other people show completely different behavior.
- Personal development suggestions;
- Insight into the management style and collaboration style;
- Effective communication and feedback;
- Communicate with the opposite color types in the organization;
- Develop interpersonal and communication skills;
- Strengthen collaboration with colleagues.
What does the candidate want to develop? Find out with Normative-Ipsative split technology®
A modern (adaptive) personality test such as The Bridge Personality uses both normative and ipsative propositions. Normative means that the candidate scores a statement on a scale from one to nine (1 = very strongly disagree, 9 = very strongly agree). In this case, Ipsative means that candidates must rank questions (1 = least applicable to me, 6 = most applicable to me). By combining normative and ipsative statements, it is possible to provide insight into socially desirable response behavior and consenting responses up to the level of the personality dimension.
Using Normative-Ipsative split technology®, The Bridge Personality then provides insight into steering response behavior. Normative-Ipsative splits® are indicators in the Bridge Personality Short Report that can indicate the degree of steering response behavior at the level of a competency. This way you can see exactly where a candidate has doubts. This doubt often provides valuable information about the competencies the candidate would like to develop. An indispensable tool during the coaching and development of candidates.
Sample report
The Bridge Personality Extended Report gives scores on 34 competencies, determines the Jung Type of the candidate, determines the candidate's color preference and gives scores on 8 general competencies. This gives you the most complete overview of your candidate's personality.
Other report options
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In four easy steps: get your candidate tested today
Easy online payment after delivery of the test or online assessment. High volume use? Get your own account on our online assessment platform.
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"Who am I? What am I capable of? And what do I want? "Because The Bridge Personality answers these kinds of questions, we at Aeres Agree can make the right match faster."
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Aeres Agree


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STATS 1000 / STATS 1004 / STATS 1504 Statistical Practice 1 Practical Week 11 Multiple Linear regression 2015 Practical Outline In this practical, we will • Get multiple scatter-plots. • Recap how to look at correlations between variables. • Look at how to perform multiple linear regression in SPSS. Part I – Learning about SPSS The dataset we will use is the cheese.sav. This is described in Appendix A. Load this dataset into SPSS. It should look like this: 1 Scatter-plot matrices To look at the relationship between the response variable taste and the predictor variables acetic, H2s and lactic, we are going to produce a scatter-plot matrix. • Select Graphs > Legacy Dialogs > Scatter/Dot... • Select the Matrix Scatter, then click Define • Move taste, acetic, H2S and lactic into Matrix Variables: 2 • Click OK Question Describe the relationship between taste and the predictors Correlation between response variable and the predictor variables Next we will example the correlation between the response variable taste and the predictor variables acetic, H2S, and lactic. This is done thus: • Select Analyze > Correlate > Bivariate... 3 • Put taste, acetic, H2S, lactic into Variables: • Click OK 4 Question Which predictor variables have a statistically significant correlation with taste? Fitting a multiple linear regression model. To fit the multiple linear regression with taste as the response variable and acetic, H2S, and lactic as predictor variables do the following steps: • Select Analyze > Regression > Linear • Put taste into Dependent: • Put acetic, H2S, and lactic into Independent(s): • Click OK This should give the following output: 5 Question Can any of the predictors be removed from the model? Using a P-value cutoff of 5% find the smallest model. Part II – Exercises There are no exercises this week, please feel free to work on the assignments. Part III – Appendix A Cheese dataset As cheddar cheese matures, a variety of chemical processes take place. The taste of matured cheddar is related to the concentration of several chemicals in the final product. In a study of cheddar cheese from the LaTobe Valley of Victoria, Australia, samples of cheese were analysed for their chemical composition and were subjected to taste tests. The variable Case is used to number the observations from 1 to 30. taste is the response variable of interest. The taste scores were obtained by combining the scores from several tasters. Three of the chemicals whose concentration were measured were acetic acid, hydrogen sulphide, and lactic acid. For acetic acid and hydrogen sulphide (natural) log transforms were taken. Thus, the explanatory variables are the transformed concentrations of acetic acid (acetic) and hydrogen sulphide (H2S), and the untransformed concentration of lactic acid (lactic). 6
© Copyright 2023


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Booth has more than 30 years of sales and operation experience in the fresh foods and international transportation industries. He brings extensive knowledge to the Organic Alliance team. Most recently, Booth was president of Ace Tomato and Delta PrePack, two companies that farm, ship, repack and market fresh fruits and vegetables. Prior to running Ace Tomato and Delta PrePack, he spent 14 years at Fresh Express, most recently as Vice President Food Service Division. In this position he was responsible for overseeing and directing the company's foodservice business, which included managing the sales division's growth and formulating long-range strategic sales plans. During this time Booth led the $300mm food service division's growth through several new product launches for national restaurant chains and broadline distributor markets that resulted in a 30 percent revenue growth.
Parker has extensive international business and sales experience as a result of his work in Asia, Europe and South America where he was responsible for developing and expanding markets for the use of controlled atmosphere technology. This technology is used in the shipping industry today for the worldwide, long-distance, ocean transport of perishable commodities such as fresh fruits and vegetables. "We are pleased to have Parker as the President of our growing company," says Tom Morrison, CEO of Organic Alliance. "His past marketing and sales experience will assist us with our growth, and help us to market to more growers, food processors, consumer goods firms, grocery chains and restaurants worldwide. Parker will lead our team which now includes our Medical Advisory Board consisting of six outstanding doctors, and the recent addition of Royal Chef Steve Crellin, who served the British Royal family for many years."
"I am very excited to join Organic Alliance," Booth says. "The company is working hard to ensure that everything is done to the highest level before they even begin to market to consumers."


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In Stock
Tuesday SpecialSale Ends Tonight at 11:59pm
Our Lambskin Asymmetrical Leather Motorcycle Jacket is a great choice for everyday and leisurewear. It has a wide collar and zip-up front closure for a flattering shape and comfortable fit. Style this jacket with jeans or leggings, or over a sweater for winter casual wear.
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Humor in Presidential Elections
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