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Phillies Phestival 2008
It was a beautiful, sunny day yesterday for the Phillies Phestival, the annual charity event held at the ballpark with all funds raised going to towards fighting ALS or "Lou Gehrig's disease." This year, the event raised a record-setting $758, 540 in its 19th year running. I have posted some PHOTOS here on my photobucket site from the event and have a few to share with you here as well. I apologize for the grainy ones…combo of a very bad back lit situation and the wrong setting on my camera…oops! Oh well…it was hot and my brain was fried. Anyway, first I have a collage I threw together with Cole Hamels, Ryan Howard, Jayson Werth, Chad Durbin, Chase Utley and right in the middle, Jimmy Rollins with your favorite web site voodoo mascot and mine, J-Roll Smurf! And figuring we've all seen enough photos of me, I was kind enough to cover that part up J I have a fun story about that photo though…
So I walk over to Jimmy for the picture and he is already cracking up over the Smurf and starts telling me, "You know, I like smurfs too…" And I start telling him I knew that, and that is why I dressed him up like that… Then he proceeds to tell me with a huge grin on his face, "You know what they used to call me, back in the day? Papa Smurf." Now I am cracking up! I showed him the back of the uniform where I had ironed on his name and number and he was very impressed. He said he liked it and that it was "very original." So, I think J-Roll Smurf will be attending a few more games for luck J I don't mind making a fool of myself; it's all in good fun. J
Here's another fun photo for the ladies! Should we play the "Guess Who's Better Side This Is?" game or should I just tell you? Hee! Well, I shouldn't say "better side," the man doesn't really have a bad side. It's all good. Ok, ok, I won't keep you in suspense…it's Chad Durbin. And probably 50 or 60 people cracked up laughing while I took this picture as I turned to the line of people waiting for his autograph and said, "Ok, you know I have to do this, right?" Sorry, couldn't help myself…he bent over right in front of me…it was like a bulls eye!
Wound up getting 14 autographs by the end of the day and an odd assortment of pictures. I would have done better, but the Chase Utley line alone took me an hour and a half! And what an ordeal that was too. The guy in front of me kept making trouble by trying to let someone cut in; he got caught so then he tried to take that guys stuff for him to get it signed and the ushers wouldn't let him do that either so he got in trouble again and this time, they pulled him out of the line! And all this happened right as it was my turn at the front of the line so I was already a frazzled mess and then to make it worse, the usher standing next to Chase yells at ME! He points at my camera and says, "Make sure YOU don't hold up the line by stopping to take a picture. Take it while you are moving!" WHAT??? Mind you, I have been standing by quietly, smiling and behaving the entire 90 minutes and now this guy has the nerve to YELL at me for no reason? I was SO upset I nearly cried and forgot to take the picture at all. Poor Chase saw the look on my face and asked how I was and I was like, "Ok I think" and he signed my photo and gave me one of those "oh you poor thing" smiles. He was already annoyed with how things were going…I had seen him "correct" the ushers a few times before that while I was waiting in line. Earlier, the ushers were telling people they couldn't take photos at all and Chase looked right at them and said "Yes they can." By the time I slid over to Jimy Williams (sitting with Chase), I was shaking like a leaf and couldn't pull his photo out of the sleeve and he was trying to calm me down! He said, "It's ok, take your time, there's no hurry." He's such a nice man. J Finally, I was out of that line and every other line was fine…no problems at all.
Now, for anyone who has not been to the Phestival, don't let what you just read discourage you from going. This is NOT typical. I've been going every year for 8 years and have NEVER seen this happen or been treated this way. Usually, everyone is very nice and friendly and the event is lots of fun. I have no idea what happened in that one line, but whoever was in charge over there simply blew it. They obviously panicked because they knew there was a high demand for Chase's autograph and tried to change how things are usually done to try to get the line to move faster. But you can't tell people not to take pictures or HOW to take them and you certainly shouldn't be yelling at them.
So, I have certainly not had a lot of luck in the Utley department this week! First the picture that didn't come out on Photo Day and now this! Geez, when will MY streak end? In other news, the team has officially announced adding JA Happ back to the roster to take Adam Eaton's spot now that he has accepted a minor league assignment. Do I smell a trade in the air though? Guess we will just have to wait and see… On to DC tonight! Go Phillies!


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Literotica Guru
Pix is offline
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Where it gets way too cold
Posts: 829
Only male
Any age that fits the character, but I would prefer to be closer to my own age mid-20s
Only heterosexual
Power Exchange:
Slight to mid dom, but again it depends on the character
White; country of origin, usually American, depends on the character
Any body type is fine, generally like to play tall and in shape guys, maybe a type that has a little extra padding sometimes
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
Perfectly fine, as long as the idea isn't totally dumb
I like developed story that incorporate complicated emotion with sex. I like romantic relationships that have obstacles, such as age differences, cultural differences, some incest stories if set up right, or even supernatural/fantasy/sci-fi differences.
Hard limits:
Futa, switching, minors, scat, animals, not big on non-con or torture, but if it fits the character, I could slide on those
Try to get five times a week, to once a day, but that is a floor not a ceiling. If it takes a while to post, I usually have some sort of writer's block, seriously. I try to craft a collaborative story, not just get off.
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"Do you fall in love with all of your clients?
Only the ones in skirts.
-Phillip Marlowe
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mintchocolate is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 7
No longer active.
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Purveyor of Pleasure
TheOlderGuy is offline
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Just outside your open window
Posts: 21,715
I almost always play a male. Well, cause Im TheOlderGuy. But I have been known to switch roles with the right partner in order to challenge our POVs
I can play any age really. Ive lived them all, except for almost dead, and that I could fake. But I certainly enjoy the vantage point of TheOlderGuy
Heteroflexible personally but I can do bi or whatever a role calls for, if its a good role
Power Exchange:
I'm an older, naturally dominant male. I dont do submissive so well, although maybe I should try it sometime. Its a roleplay, right? And, Im perfectly capable of having an equal exchange with anyone who requires it.
My mother was a redhead from Venus, my dad a badass green man from Mars with a little French somewhere in his deep dark past. So I can play any kind of mutt you like.
I would go with anywhere on the skinny to athletic build, medium height, average weightas my natural body of choice. However, if you like a little beer belly, I could do that, too. And sometime I want to be a gentle giant of a man caring for a frail little lady in need.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
I draw the line at geckos.
I find myself mostly drawn to contemporary settings, but I dont mind something historical as long as I understand the history and culture enough to pull it off well. Fantasy would have to be pretty good one to hold my attention.
Into anything and everything pretty much, I particularly love non consent/reluctance, interracial, older/younger, D/s, wandering spouses, control, oral and more oral, big brains and little tits, smart psycho/sexual dialogue, Exhibitionism/Voyeur, threesome and moresomesshould I go on?
Hard limits:
Scat, needles, watersports, necro, kids, most farm animals, Republicans.
Im on most days at some point, and can write pretty regularly if Im motivated. I like at least a few thoughtful paragraghs. I can forgive a few misspellings or bad constructions, but I try to proof everything I post. Im in the Eastern time zone if that matters, and I welcome any and all ideas and inquiries.
The first man who, having fenced in a piece of land, said 'This is mine', and found people naïve enough to believe him, that man was the true founder of civil society. From how many crimes, wars, and murders, from how many horrors and misfortunes might not any one have saved mankind, by pulling up the stakes, or filling up the ditch, and crying to his fellows: Beware of listening to this impostor; you are undone if you once forget that the fruits of the earth belong to us all, and the earth itself to nobody.
Rousseau 1754
I'm TheOlderGuy --
update 2/27/13
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The Darkest Nightmare
Nyte_mare is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Where Your Nightmare comes to Life!!!
Posts: 1,495
Originally Posted by
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
I draw the line at geckos.
This made me laugh at my screen... Good answer.. LMAO...
~^~ Your Nightmare comes to Life ~^~
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The Darkest Nightmare
Nyte_mare is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Where Your Nightmare comes to Life!!!
Posts: 1,495
: I am all Female
Let's just say I am well into adulthood. As for the age of characters I like to play or write, young adult seems to work best for me...
IRL I am Straight. For RP and Writing, I prefer my character to be straight as well, but that does not mean I will not dabble with another female, for the sake of the story and role play.
Power Exchange:
I prefer my characters to be submissive. Now, allow me to explain for a moment. I prefer to write characters that are strong, intelligent, driven, and show many dominant qualities. But, deep down in the depth of their soul, my characters are submissive, but often they must be shown this particular quality. This is why I choose to only write with a Partner who can bring to life a very Dominant Male Character and Personality. Does this mean the Writer has to be Dominant, no, the Writer's preference is not required, but I have found, in my experience RPing, that a Dominant/Master is best written, oft times, by a Dominant Male Writer.
I am White (Italian heritage). Race in my stories matters not to me.
: Never really gave it much thought, but to be honest, when I chose Character pictures, the females are always attractive, sleek, slender, lean, etc . I, for whatever reason, like red haired Characters (my own hair is dark brown, LOL)
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations
: I have no issues with writing/playing and alternate species, or a fantasy race. I have played a Lycan, a Vampire, and a character who Shape-Shifted into a Tiger. I enjoy playing and writing those kinds of Characters and playing/writing with those kinds of Characters. As for mutations, that is a bit more complicated. Yes, I have RPed in that scenario. I am ok with tentacles, Angels or Demons. I am NOT Ok with Gender mutation, where a female grows a penis, or a male develops breasts. I am not comfortable with that and choose not to write in the genre.
: I enjoy almost any setting. It is the story that interests me, the setting is secondary to the storyline. But, I do enjoy most any setting, Fantasy, Reality, Sci Fi, even dabbling in Historic or Apocalyptic.
Wow, this could get long, LOL! I will hit the main points. My Writing Partners and myself can discuss specifics when discussing story and writing ideas.
Details, Details, Details. I like Characters that have history, backstory, well fleshed out ideas and personalities.
Paint me a picture, Who is he? Why is he? What is he? His thoughts, his motivations, his experiences.
I much prefer a story that is erotic and dark, sexual and mysterious. I prefer to NOT plan a story out in advance. Yes, I want to get the basics down, and the guidelines and ground rules, but I do not want the story, or the Characters to be predictable. Shock me, surprise me, make me and make my Character think, react to what you are doing. I like when my Character thinks she knows what is going to happen, or thinks she can control what is happening, and then is helpless, out of control, dependent on the Dominant Character.
And on the flipside, I too will write my Character to be unpredictable. Believable (in the context of the story) but unpredictable. You never know how my Character may react, what she may do or say at any given moment. My character will think, feel, react. I want my character to have depth, emotions. I like th throw a curve ball when writing, as much as I like getting a curve ball when writing. I like to make my Partners think... I like to be made to think!!!
I write best with Dominance/submission, Master/slave, Mind Play/Mind Games (or as many call it, Mind Fucking) Force, Non-Consent, Psychological play. I enjoy my character begging for the caress of a whip, or begging for mercy. I like my character to feel fear, to feel want, to feel need, to feel confusion, to feel some pain, to feel devotion, to feel love... I like Binding (chains, ropes, leather) ... Being Controlled...
I enjoy Vampire and Lycan, Demonic and Angelic, Master and slave...
I enjoy the Dominant being cruel one moment, romantic the next, confusing the slave until she is unsure what is happening. Mind Play, I so enjoy Mind Play, and Breath Play. I like my Character knowing that the Master could end her life if he chose to.... I like that fear...
The caress of a Whip or Crop, being Bound and Gagged, Naked.
Hard limits:
Yes, I do have some very hard limits that I refuse to cross. No golden showers, No scat, No bathroom play at all (other than a shower or bathing type situation, that is totally different). No vomit, or anything like that. No animals (outside of a Demonic type or Lycan), no harming of animals (I am a devoted animal lover), no extreme humiliation... I am not into incest, Nor am I into gender mutation...
I am available during most days (east coast time) tho the hours may vary. I am also around for a bit on weekends, again hours may vary. Nights, I will only be on sporadically.
~^~ Your Nightmare comes to Life ~^~
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Literotica Guru
Teddybarehead is offline
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Jax, FL
Posts: 650
Gender: I only play male characters.
Age: 18-45.
Orientation: I play heterosexual characters only.
Power Exchange: While I love to please women, I am much more domminant than submissive, to the point where i will for example put my hand lightly around your neck to get your attention when i want something specific.
Race: I'm Caucasian and tend to play Caucasian males often, but i'm not set on that if the story needs, including fantasy type races.
Bodytype: I tend to play characters similar to my own bodytype, which is generally (5'10"-6'/190-230 lbs)
For fantasy species it all depends on the race and story, and will have to be decided on a case by case basis, but I tend to not be set on that as much.
Settings: The more detailed the better. futuristic, midevil, western, Edo Japan...Anything with a rich background that I can get into.
Likes/kinks: Like i was saying earlier I love to please, which means oral is a big turn-on for me. Foreplay is essential even when playing the dominant asshole. BDSM on her is sexy, as well as using toys to push her over the edge at will.
(Not limited to this as I'm still finding out who I am and what I like or don't.)
Hard limits: Minors, scat, animals/furries/whatevers, necro, vomit, drinking piss, foot worship, excessive pain, dominant women.
(Not limited to this as I'm still finding out who I am and what I like or don't.)
I will be available to RP several times a week. I work during the day and try to go to the gym at least three times a week. Weekends and evenings will be my primary writing time. I look forward to having a great deal of fun with you.
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Stepford Wife...Of Sorts!
AngelicaPink is offline
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Southern Europe
Posts: 1,027
Gender: Female. I'd love to try and play the male sometime, though. Can't promise it will be any good.
Age: 18-40, I'd say. I can do older if need be
Orientation: Bi-sexual. Can play straight, lesbian but you get the point.
Power Exchange: I like men with an alfa personality and women a little less so. I'm not necessarily always submissive with men, but I tend to be.
Race: I'm half caucasian half hispanic in real life. I don't have a problem in playing any human race.
Bodytype: I tend to play the curvy girl with big breasts, rounded but moderately sized hips because that's what I look like in real life. Despite that, I can play whatever bodytype is required of me.
Settings: I'm really into Historical settings - especially Medieval, Victorian and 20th Century up to the mid-60's. I like magical worlds as long as I can make a character up - having to research and read existing books is something I'd like to do but don't have the time to. Present day setting is also fine with me.
Likes/kinks: I like a lot of things so I'm only going to refer to my favorites. If something you're into isn't referred here or on the "hard limits" section, please ask.
So, I'm into:
Foreplay, breast play, corsets, dirty talking during sex, tribaldism, prostitution, oral sex (giving and receiving), threesomes, public scenes, virginity, sex toys, people who can write.
Hard limits: I dislike one liners. Give me something to read, people! No minors, no incest, no animals, no dead people, no blood, no scat, no watersports, no extreme violence and absolutely no choking. This list is in no way exhaustive. I'm picky, sorry!
Availability: I'm available almost everyday.
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Blueduck4000 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: South Florida
Posts: 73
Male, if need be I can play minor female characters in stories.
I can play any age although when I am writing younger characters they probably tend to sound more mature than they should.
Heterosexual, not interested in playing bi or homosexual characters.
Power Exchange:
So far everything I've done has been from the prespective of a more dominant personality. However I'm really interested in doing an RP as an sub.
I'm Asian, the race of characters don't really concern me. I usually just match my partners choice for race. I would like to do an RP that does focus on race though, particularly having to do with the struggles of an interracial relationship.
I write my character most of the time as tall and lean a wiry type of build. I'm not a big fan of characters with football player proportions. I often like to play with mismatched size between characters in either gender, usually about 2 feet in taller characters and about a foot or a foot and a half for shorter ones
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
So far I've only played humans, looking to write a few nonhuman stories
I enjoy all types of settings. I mostly work in modern settings.
If I can, I like to add some sort if mismatch in my stories. Either physical mismatches or mismatches of personality or social standing. I'm also a big fan of breasts and breasts play and dirty talk between characters. I'm pretty much willing to write any scene as long as it is not a hard limit.
Hard limits:
Scat, cutting, vore, most anything. involving very extreme torture
I can usually post once a day maybe twice if the timing of your response is right. For multiple posts in a single day it would have to be played through email.
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Really Really Experienced
IvoryValentine is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: In the moment
Posts: 449
Gender: Females
Age:I am most comfortable as middle aged characters. Someone with a bit of life experience but still young enough to do more.
Orientation: Either Heterosexual or Bi
Power Exchange: I like either role but not crazy about extremes
Race: Whatever the story calls for
Body type:Since I'm an hour glass shape, that's what I lean towards but will depend on what the role is
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations: can't think of anything I won't try
Settings:Modern and any fantasy. I don't know sifi very well but I could try
well built males
in depth characters
Oral sex
Force (light)
Light bdsm
Anal play
Women with curve
Dislikes/hard limits:
hard drug use
Short posts
God modding
Normal lit limits.
no scat
Extreme pain receiving
Drinking piss
(Im sure theres more)
Availability: A few times a week
Other notes: I like to get to know my writing partners so chat is always a bonus. I find the most amazing stories are written with someone you find a connection with. I like to make friends as well as writing partners.
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Literotica Guru
EroticLily is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 647
Erotic Lily's SRP preferences
Prefer to play female characters
I can play ages 18 to 40
I play straight characters mostly. Im up for a little girl-on-girl experimentation.
Power Exchange:
Flexible. Depends on the characters and the scenario. Please don't assume you can dominate my character without discussing it with me first. Big turn off.
I am not, nor are my characters to be presumed submissive (unless discussed for a particular plot).
I tend to play slender to curvy females, who are on the petite side (53-55).
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations
: Id be interested in exploring supernatural beings but only human/human-like types.
Im used to Modern, but I suppose it depends on the scenario.
vanilla sex, incest ( sister/brother, step-siblings, cousins), romance, risk of getting caught, cheating, dirty talk (non-insulting), light dominance from partner (ex. getting pinned to surfaces, being grasped by the wrists, choking, spanking), erotic massages, role-playing, teasing, voyeurism.
Common roleplay scenarios that I'm a sucker for
: student/teacher, employee/boss, friends - fuck buddies, younger woman seducing an older man
Dislikes/Hard limits:
Nothing thats against Lit rules. No waste. No rape, blackmail, coercion, S&M, or humiliation. No god-modding please {Please do not write actions or dialogue for my character. I am certainly capable of writing on my own behalf}. Poor punctuation, grammar and spelling (makes reading and replying difficult).
I'm available some evenings (depending on how the work day goes) and weekends. Please be patient while waiting for replies as I will grant you the same courtesy. PM me to discuss plots for SRP threads. I'm
interested in cam/video/voice chat, but I'm open to PMing via Lit.
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Ripple in the Water
Cherubian is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,048
: I only play female characters.
: I always play a female of youthful appearance between 18 and 25 years of age, although her true age can of course vary depending on what sort of creature I am actually playing.
: I usually play heterosexual characters, maybe with slight lesbian inclinations.
Power Exchange
: I am very fond of more submissive roles, of being ordered around and of what I believe is commonly referred to as pseudo rape, but I
truly non consensual scenes and being helpless. There should always be some reason for my character to willingly play along and eventually enjoy what is happening. Most importantly, there should always be some choice on her part. The reason can be as simple as her having kinks of her own, or more elaborate like having to maintain some sort of cover.
In the same vein, I like it when my character has some hidden power that makes her stronger than she does appear. Maybe she is a powerful mage that has the outward appearance of a harmless girl, maybe she is a mythical creature in human shape, or maybe in a modern setting it is something as simple as extensive Martial Arts training. In any case she ideally comes out ahead in the power exchange with her counterpart. That does not necessarily mean this ever has to come to actually bear in the story, but just knowing that potential to be there makes the act of submitting/engaging in the carnal act all the more interesting.
When the mood strikes me and/or the plot asks for it I also enjoy turning into a switch that no longer is the helpless willing plaything. Do not expect hard core bondage and humiliation from me, but I am willing to take charge of the encounter.
: As long as the above criteria are fulfilled and the character I am playing is aesthetically pleasing to the mainstream eye I am completely flexible here.
: My character will always have a slender build and breasts at the upper limit of the naturally possible. Whether that is wishful thinking on my part or imposing my real life physique on my characters is your guess. The size of my characters can vary, from small and petite to large amazons.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations
: The limits on what I am willing to play can be seen above. For pairings I am open for anything with male genitalia, and maybe even the very occasional scene with a being that does not have them.
: The time worn "We both go to school and develop a crush on each other" does not do much for me, the same is true for most roleplays in a modern realistic setting. Fantasy settings, in particular low magic ones, are probably my favorite, but I am also open to post apocalyptic or various science fiction or historical variants. Some at least minor fantastic element however is always appreciated.
: I have an F-List set up
, but while helpful they are still limits in its scope and ability to express the nuances of one's more elaborate kinks.
Besides rereading the
Power Exchange
bit above, some more pointers:
I like it when sex scenes are rough and wild and creative. I very much like interesting setups, exotic settings, and kinky scenarios.
Tying in to interesting constellations, I like a decent amount of buildup, be it foreplay, teasing, or other plot related action. How my character came to stand naked under the srutinizing and lewd gaze of the eager male can be just as interesting as what happens afterwards, and done right the anticipation this creates can be at least as stimulating as the actual scene that follows. That does not mean I want to keep you hanging forever, but having a male genitalia stuck into my mouth in the second post is definitely too quick.
I have also grown increasingly fond of themes that center around nudity of the female in its various forms, be it forced nudity, exhibitionistic tendencies, or the classical wardrobe malfunction. During the intercourse I greatly prefer it if the female is naked at least from elbow to knee, wearing clothes during sex that go beyond accessories like belts or collars usually lessens the enjoyment for me. This is not the case for the male participants, having a naked female copulating with one (or more) almost fully clothed male has a definite appeal.
I have a particular liking of roleplays where my counterpart is not particularly physically attractive. A belly, balding hair, advanced age, simply make it more interesting for me than interacting with a picture perfect poster boy. I know not everyone is comfortable playing such a character, and I am not very insistent on this, but it is an easy way to score bonus points with me.
Oral sex does not do that much for me when I am the receiving party. Giving head while kneeling at the guys feet can be quite fun if it does not turn into hardcore deep throating and choking. And of course it should not always be the sole focus of the scene.
I am not fond of romantic plots, simple as that.
Hard limits
I do not like anything involving bodily fluids other than sperm, vaginal juices and maybe sweat. As someone precisely said "What belongs in the bathroom should stay in the bathroom". So please no Scat, Vore, Feces, and anything in that vein.
I will not do true rape or non-consensual scenes. See my comment on pseudo rape in the
Power Exchange
section, though.
I will not do incest. It has no appeal to me whatsoever.
And hopefully I do not have to comment on underage characters.
: That fluctuates a bit, inversely to the demands that real life imposes upon me. Especially on weekends my online presence can be very erratic, but generally I should be able to check at least daily.
Last edited by Cherubian : 06-23-2015 at
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Really Experienced
BassPlayerRob is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 217
Gender: I only play male characters.
Age: Usually between 18-30, unless I'm playing an unaging fantasy race.
Orientation: I only do heterosexual.
Power Exchange: I love to be dominant and that's the role I most often play in my rps.
Race: I'll play any, but I usually do Caucasian characters since it's what I'm familiar with.
Bodytype: My characters tend to be tall, slim and muscular.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations: I usually am ok with anything humanoid as long as it's not too alien or if it's decaying like a zombie.
Settings: I really like Sci-Fi/Futuristic settings and Fantasy settings.
Likes/kinks: I'm really into being dominant and converting my resisting partners into sluts/sex slaves through magic, hypnosis, brainwashing, conditioning, and/or training. I also like to spice things up with supernatural elements or futuristic-technology.
Hard limits: Minors, scat, necro, vomit, drinking piss, foot worship, graphic gore, terrible spelling.
Availability: It can fluctuate depending on my work load, but if I have to decrease my post count I will try to warn you in advance.
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AlisonMarch is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: As much as possible, in my imagination.
Posts: 73
Gender: Female.
Age: happy to play anywhere in the 18-35 range.
Orientation: Heterosexual.
Power Exchange: I love subtle power exchange, where I feel my control slipping away and submit to someone by slow degrees. I have zero interest in "Kneel before me in awe, for I have the word Master in my screen-name" types. Unless you ARE
Terence Stamp.
Race: Open to any, but annoyed by cliches.
Bodytype: I like playing curvy, voluptuous women. I am not against playing toothpicks, but there has to be something else I like about her.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations: Not a big thing for me either way. If being a two-headed alien vampire ape makes the story is better, ok. If it's just there to hide the fact that it's a dull plot, not so much.
Settings: Mainly for erotic/realistic modern, any kind of fantasy sci fi. Occasionally porn-logic worlds, but not my favorite.
Likes/kinks: I love being used by a guy. Or a group. I love unwilling exhibitionism, non-violent force
Hard limits: bathroom stuff, heavy bondage (Finding new ways to say "I can't move" post after post is tiresome) WRITING MY CHARACTER.
Availability: During the week, probably one or two posts a day. Weekends, less.
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a_subtle_whore is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Meet me right in front of the Rainbow Foods, I got a brown paper bag and black buckle shoes.
Posts: 22
Capital idea.
Gender: Female.
Age: I am a ripe and heady 22, myself, though I am comfortable playing anyone who could sit at the big-kids' table at Christmas dinner.
Orientation: Straight
Power Exchange: I enjoy being dominated, but I do not require it, and I very rarely submit as thoroughly as most "Doms" would like.
Race/Body type: Both of these seem as though they'd be determined between my partner and myself in the creation of a good storyline. I'm ever eager to entertain your particular whims.
Alternate species: I enjoy modern gothic supernatural themes, given a sufficient dose of realism and grit. I love the Dresden Files (riding a zombie dinosaur is totally realistic, I would do it if I had half the chance and you absolutely would too), most "dark" sci-fi, horror tropes, and, if well-written, late nineties plaid-skirts-and-balsam-stakes lowbrow camp.
Likes/kinks: Given that there's sex, and that there's banter, and that my partner has enough intellectual depth to splash in, I'm going to like it. I love everything from childhood friends discovering that their regard for each other has become a more hungry creature to masked violators who seek only to find that delicious half-stop between sob and scream.
Availability: I will post at least once every three days, if you give me something to respond to.
Writing style: We are all complicated moving pictures. We think, we feel, we experience the world through at least five senses and we draw all that stimulation through a tangled little filter of experience and hope. When you fight, when you give in, when you loathe me, when you love me- I want to hear all of it. I will match your length and your depth.
Other notes: If any of you are hiding a secret desire to indulge in nerdy canon play (no, not Anime. No, really. Never. And please don't talk to me about Ponies. I'll cry.), please do let me know.
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shydrawn is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 194
male characters
20's-30's is closest fit but willing to do any age
Power Exchange:
I really enjoy being process of being slowly seduced, I like playing "nice guys." I am willing to try other roles, but at best I probably can't pull off a true dominant role
willing to play any race, will do my best to be authentic
I am willing to play whatever body type fits my role or my partner's interests
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
I'm not into furries, alternate species or mutations could be a go as a long as they are recognizably human-like
present, historical, sci-fi are probably my favorites, I do like a smattering of fantasy as well
as described in power exchange, also teachers, babysitters, milfs, cheating, being surprised by "naughty" women
Hard limits:
minors, non-sexual bodily functions, animals/furries, rape (don't mind a bit of coercion but there has to be some choice)
typically about one post per day, will definitely let my RP partners know if I will be out for more than 3 days or so; prefer to plan threads via PM
If you have a storyline you think I might be good for, go ahead and PM me. If you think we have common interests and want me to cook something up, drop me a PM with your ideas as well.
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SurrealObsession is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: US
Posts: 136
Gender: I play women as my main character, but I am happy to add in either male or female characters as a situation demands it, as NPC's.
Age: 23 - 35, but this is flexible.
Orientation: Bisexual in real life, so the sexual orientation in game will adapt according to the storyline.
Power Exchange: I can switch between the submissive and dominant role easily. I have no interest in games that wander too far into either extreme, though.
Race: This is completely negotiable, though I tend to play a woman of unspecific ethnicity with olive or light brown skin.
Body Type: Again, this is negotiable, but I usually just default to 'average' weight, height and breast size.
Alternate Species/Fantasy Races/Furries/Mutations: If you have an idea that catches my eye where my character is not human, I will consent. I am not into the furry thing at all though, and I am not sure what it means by 'mutation'. Like X-Men, or something else? Either way, go ahead and let me know your idea and we can go from there.
Setting: I am cool with anything in this regard. Historical, science fiction, some kind of fandom, every day like...it is all fine.
Likes/Kinks: Exhibitionism, voyeurism, older men, step-siblings, masturbation, dirty talk, lesbianism, group sex, anonymous sex, slow seductions and anything that relies on a plot.
Hard Limits: Anything regarding bodily functions or fluids (other than cum) will not be given a moment's thought...I hate that. Also, I am not into BDSM, humiliation or pain beyond the basic spanking, gripping and hair pulling. Name calling is OK, in the right situations.
Availability: I am available, but I have a lot of people requesting games. If you can write well, are polite in how you approach me and have an idea or are interested in one I present, I will probably get started with you.
I'm a pretty little kitty, but I ain't no pussy.
Last edited by SurrealObsession : 11-20-2012 at
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TheLonghorn is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: my place, UK
Posts: 10
The Longhorn's SRP Profile
Okay, so, I finally have the time to complete this... Let's see if I can remember everything I want to list here... Probably not, so I'm sure I'll come back and edit as time goes by, which might defeat the purpose of this, really, but whatever!
Well, I'm male, so the majority of the time I'll probably be playing a male. Though I have played female roles in the past, so if anyone were up for it, I could do it.
Over 18, obviously, and probably up to mid-40's I'd say.
(Early 50's at a push!)
For male characters, about 99% of the time I'd play straight, but I'm open to one or two bi-curious angles if need be, but I'd really have to be in the mood to explore that. For female characters, as with most men who play women, I'd probably want to lean more to the bi/lesbian side of the fence, but again, if I'm in the mood for it, I can play straight women too.
Power Exchange:
Not really too fussed about power exchange. I guess you could say, I could go either way!
(sorry, bad joke)
... I can play dominant, I can play submissive, and I can play a submissive who struggles to be dominant or a dominant who is made to be submissive. I can be a rebellious submissive or a compassionate dominant. Or I can play on a level playing field. I guess whatever the situation calls for...
I don't think I've ever played anything other than white/caucasian characters; not for any particular reason, just perhaps that I fear I wouldn't be
enough in portraying another culture that I may not necessarily be familiar with. I could try and play a different race/culture if need be, but probably wouldn't do it justice vs someone more experienced in that field.
I myself am quite slim/slender so I'm used to playing that sort of character, but to be honest, I'm fairly flexible. Wouldn't be often that I'd be in the mood to play, or play with
characters. Again, I have to be in the right mood/frame of mind.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
When it comes to this sort of thing, I'm fairly
I guess. I just don't find much of this stuff very sexy. I guess I maybe
play a humanoid alien-type... a la
? But probably only quite imagination-limited characters. To me, they have to be somewhat familiar to/reminiscent of humans. Wouldn't be my first choice to play anything non-human anyway.
Settings, I'm pretty open on. Doesn't really matter
we are. I'm pretty imaginative and visual, so if a setting is well-described, I can usually roll with it.
Now then, this is the difficult part. I probably won't be able to list everything on first draft, but here goes:
light violence
(nothing too morbid)
verbal/physical humiliation/mockery
light choking
(guess that comes under light violence?)
hair pulling
rough sex/possibly rape
(It's a touchy subject, but my stance is as long as it's fictional it's more or less ok? - usually I'd have it turn out to be mutual in the end eg: the victim discovers feelings for the attacker. Certainly not something I'd condone in reality.)
(again, touchy subject, but again, if it's just fiction... I understand the concept can get people off...)
light collar use
(for abduction/captivity scenarios)
light bondage
(not really my cup of tea, but can be done)
public sex
light biting/nibble
(not nipple)
(then again, nipple play too!)
(a given, but for me, it's almost as hot as the 'main event')
older/younger scenarios
(age-play? but to an extent)
leather/lace/lingerie in general
(rarely but occasionally)
Hard limits:
This is kind of a hard one to fill out, since I don't know what other people will be wanting to suggest! ha. I'm sure there'll be something I fail to list here that someone might approach me for!
The basics, however, are:
minors/under-age participants
animals/non-humanoid characters
(no corpses!)
(no characters older than 55 would be a good guideline)
foot fetishes
blood/guts/gore/brutal violence
full-on BDSM
(only light stuff)
grammar skills? -
no reply!
spelling skills? -
no reply!!
(I am British, but accept and recognise American spellings as correct spelling in addition to British spellings so don't worry!)
intelligence? -
distinction between dialogue and description? -
And none of anything else not listed which I've previously mentioned as not interesting me!
Any queries?
I'll be happy to respond... Unless replying to queries becomes tedious, in which case I just won't reply. I can't image too many people will be enquiring about things I may or may not be into though!
For the time being, I'm fairly available. Mostly in the evenings
on weekdays, but also most of the days on weekends. -
just note I will
prioritise Lit over anything else I have to do in 'real life'.
Occasionally I may drop off the grid for a while, but I'll do my best to give due notice should this become an issue during any RPs. If I do not reply to any PMs or posts within 3-4 days without notice of absence, you can assume I've dropped off the grid. If the PM is regarding any likes/dislikes not mentioned above, my non-response may be due to the tediousness of such an enquiry, however, I'm a polite person so will endeavour to answer all queries until further notice.
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Literotica Guru
brw02 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Northern New York
Posts: 2,649
I am a conscientious writer and I like to RP with others who take some pride in their work. I won't take offense to grammatical errors but I would hope that a co-writer would avoid contradicting herself. I want to make it fun as well as stimulating.
: I only play male characters.
: 18-63. I've lived all of them.
: Heterosexual, might dabble into bisexual if it fits the story.
Power Exchange
: Prefer to be dominant but can play neutral if the story calls for it. I don't care much for Sadism/masochism but I do like a submissive and obedient women. I also enjoy light bondage and doling out a firm spanking to a girl who deserves one.
: I'm white myself but I could play black or native American easily.
: I am over 6' and in pretty good shape. I weigh 195# but I could play a bigger or smaller man.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations
: I can't imagine having sex with a groundhog. I'm not interested in this genre of writing. It just feels weird.
: I usually prefer to stay in the present, but I am a bit of a history buff, especially American history. I'm fairly flexible here.
I like to play a dominant role and I like submissive girls. I prefer to stop short of humiliation or physical injury. Spanking is fun, and bondage can be a turnon (I love a girl in a sling
). But none of these are mandatory. I can also be tender and romantic.
Hard limits
: No minors, no abuse (physical or mental). Rape is out.
: I am on here most days. Barring some emergency, I don't see myself taking longer than three days to respond.
If there are any questions feel free to PM.
My SRP Profile:
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Really Experienced
Katsdarkgift is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Springfield
Posts: 131
Gender: I think I write better as my own gender, female, but I am open to playing the male.
Age: Above 18, willing to act like a Lolita/Innocent/Virgin but with it made plain that I am legal.
Orientation: Bi
Power Exchange: Like being dominated but I also enjoy being a dominant.
Race: Any
Bodytype: Any
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations: Any
Settings: Any
Likes/kinks: I'm fairly open
Hard limits: Scat and non magical animals.
Availability:I am on fairly frequently.
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Really Experienced
sodalitas is offline
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 116
I think somewhere between 25-45 would be easiest, I'm starting to forget what it's like to be younger than that...
Power Exchange:
I'd be fine with anywhere along this spectrum
I'm caucasian, probably anyone I write I will write the same way, so if that makes other races not come across properly then I might be best to stick with that
I have no particular preference here, I'd write whatever makes sense for the character.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
No particular issues with the concept
I'll write anything. Probably most interested in medieval/fantasy or sci-fi/future, also interested in current day.
If the thread's about it and I join, chances are it's on the list. If you want to introduce something in a current thread, PM to find out.
Hard limits:
Anything strictly illegal is a good general rule of thumb. Anything that 90% of the people say is on their list, assume it's on mine too.
Most of the time I check in daily. I like to think about my posts, so it might take a day to post.
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Really Experienced
axilyae is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 200
: Female, and I roleplay female characters.
Anything eighteen and onwards.
I am comfortable representing straight, bisexual or gay characters. (& anything inbetween)
Power Exchange:
Submissive masochist.
I have roleplayed various races. I don't have anything against representing a particular one, if so requested.
I have roleplayed various body-types. I don't have anything against representing a particular one, if so requested. If left with creative freedom, my characters will probably deviate towards the "acceptable medium" of a healthy, curvy body with C-cup breasts, nothing too over the top. It all depends on the roleplay scenario.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
I am open to most things - it is best to ask me if you have something particular in mind.
I lean towards Fantasy settings the most; but I have a soft spot for the medieval, and I take part in modern-era roleplays if the story catches my attention. I'm also interested in getting involved with anything Sci-Fi. However, I am flexible with settings and if a scenario is good, I will most likely take part.
I also tend to favour darker storylines, and I don't avoid common plot tropes if they have the potential to lead to something interesting.
I am a submissive. Most things in a dom/sub scenario are fine by me. Particular links include, but aren't limited to: humiliation, objectification, bondage, master/slave, non-consent, psychological torture, blackmail, branding, collaring, facials, anal, gang-bangs, spitting, sexual violence and so on. I dislike these things being done mildly, so if you're squeamish about dominating then we probably aren't compatible long-term.
Hard limits:
I don't like overt torture/gore, bestiality, minors, scat, snuff, foot fetishes. I also don't like roleplaying out happy relationships, romance, or anything at all connected to that. Switching is also off the books for my characters.
I will be around to reply to posts in the daytime [GMT] on weekdays, but will be unavailable in the evenings and weekends most of the time. I would say I aim to reply to active threads 3-4 times a week, but this fluctuates depending how busy I am IRL and how much the thread interests me.
If anyone has any further questions to ask me, please PM me.
My SRP Profile
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Bisexual Guru
AlysaNewport is offline
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Lurking behind you in the shadows..
Posts: 10,375
HI everyone, If you need more information please just PM me and ask me.
Gender: Female in real life but will play male if story needs one added.
Age: 20-30
Orientation:I'm Bi-Sexual so can play both sides.
Power Exchange: D/S
Race: Any
Alternate Species: Elven
Settings: Sci-fi, Post/Pre Apocalyptic, Modern, Futuristic, Fantasy, Romantic, Drama based, Mystery, Crime
Likes/Kinks: Non-consent, Blackmail, light bondage, Biting, Hair pulling, dominating to females, submissive to males, rough sex(Female), Long romance, sensual torture,
Nos: Incest, Blood, Scat, Urination, Bestiality, monsters
Availability: At least once a day ..Maybe more when time permits.
Location of stories: Forum, Instant Message only.
Last edited by AlysaNewport : 03-23-2013 at
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Literotica Guru
LordUsagi is offline
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: South of the equator
Posts: 1,452
Gender: I am male so I really only play male characters. I dont mind playing minor fill in parts of females in a story though.
Age: Anything story requires though prefer to be a bit older 30s +
Orientation: I am straight and doubt I could play gay with any viable credit
Power Exchange: This is not something I really considered till on the site. Wouldnt class myself as anything really, at times in relationships I have been a dominant person and at times sat back and been submissive. I think by nature I am a people pleaser so dont think I would struggle to be a bit more submissive. Most of my current Threads I am dominant (or moving towards) but I would like to play a totally submissive role some time (tried before and it didnt quite work out but want to try again so ladies) All in all I think I dont mind either way and go with the flow and evolve.
Race: No preference though obviously in truly realistic settings I probably would struggle to pull off something I am not familiar with.
Bodytype: This all depends on the roleplay scenario, and I will play what the partner requires (after all it is for her pleasure as well. If the woman wants a Greek God I am not going to make her settle for an ugly Troll) That being said if left the choice and it is not required as per the scenario to be a specific type i.e. cant be the heroic warrior if you are fat and lazy, I will tend to play a more ideal (or what I am striving for) of myself e.g. middle aged decent looking guy more muscular and athletic.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations: In my tabletop roleplaying life I tend to play humans but have no actual preference. Happy to play anything that is requested as long as it is at least humanoid in shape and nature. No furries though and mutations are okay if not totally weird or hard to cope with.
Settings: Once again no real preference. As a roleplayer I have played in almost every type of world from fantasy to futuristic horror. I like fantasy and historic settings, sci-fi as well as modern if it has a bit of mystery to it. But prepared to discuss anything with the partner as I am usually willing to try broaden my horizons
Likes/kinks: Once again no real preferences. I think on the kinks it is more the things that I do not like (Hard limits) which is more important. In sex scenes it all depends on mood and what has transpired in the story, sometimes my character will be kind and gentle and see to his partners needs, sometimes her wil just have his way All depends on the story and what has been discussed between us.
From the writing side I prefer a story to the just sex, yes sex is a part of why we are on her and will happen, sometimes even often.
I like to be challenged and put in interesting situations and also do the same to my partner, especially if it suits the scenario and isnt an impossible situation to get out of.
Also enjoy interesting ideas and ways to treat a known theme.
I also enjoy detail especially of the other characters. I want to know exactly what she looks like, how she is dressed etc. It helps me to visualize the scene and also aids with character development.
Also this results in longer posts which I prefer but do realize sometimes shorter ones are necessary as long as it doesnt become the norm.
I dont mind people contacting me via PM to discuss ideas or if they have questions about anything.
I also dont mind my partner writing my character at times (as long as it isnt life changing choices and they know the character well enough to guess how they might react) This often helps to move the story along and might help lead to a good idea (challenging) that you have that I might be missing your hints. Also sometimes things are obvious i.e. unless I have established that my character never ever does what yours tells him to do, then if you ask him to sit and join you for dinner it is okay to assume he does and not have to wait for my reply.
Lastly although I am not the greatest writer and sometimes I make grammar mistakes (although I usually least reread my threads before posting) I do think I have good ideas sometimes and I like to evolve my characters as I go along. I might be replying and suddenly get an idea which causes a spinoff. So I do appreciate this in my fellow writers i.e. decent posts that are not grammatically horrendous and interesting ideas and characters.
Hard limits: Bestiality is a no no, I love animals and them even being injured in our story will cause an emotional moment. I am also against bathroom stuff as I think I have seen it referred to here. And although the age of consent is dropping all the times in some countries I am not willing to go below 18 in a story. Also snuff and its related e.g. necrophilia are also out (unless it is vampires)
Availability: I will usually try to post at least one reply a day though sometimes that may become more if I am online at the time. I will also try to advise my partners when I may be too busy to post for a while and appreciate the same via PM. Also I dont mind if PM me as a reminder if you havent had a reply from me in a few days and I havent told you that I am going to busy. I might have just missed your reply or forgotten to tell you I would be away.
I will usually try and answer PM as soon as possible even via mobile as I just think it is courtesy, though sometimes obviously a reply is not needed or I am busy.
For any other questions of just general chat feel free to PM me
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Dungeon Master
DungeonsOfDread is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 1,295
Writing Profile
I only play male characters(I just don't have the equipment for the other)
Anything over 20. I'm not sure if I can pull my maturity level back any further it was hard enough even when I was 20.
Heterosexual. I just don't think I have the right mind set/experience to play anything else.
Power Exchange:
Can play either dominant or submissive but not to the extreme. Prefer reluctance pleasure/pain scenarios rather than overly violent rape and abuse.
Don't mind so much except I'm not particularly fond of changing speech to suit an accent.
If Human - Average to mildly well built(not Arnold or Hulk unless its a specific character feature). Since I'm short irl I prefer to play tall characters (I know, small man syndrome.)
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
Anything really. As long as it can think, move and act I pretty sure I can rp it.
I prefer sci-fi and fantasy from almost any universe. Not too keen on real life scenarios, I prefer to roleplay something well away from reality. However I do like to broaden my knowledge and horizons therefore any good story I'd be willing to rp in.
I do like intellectually driven role playing with limited use of crude terminology. I think that its better to be able to describe the genitals thoughtfully using more than one word, in saying that I still don't mind the usual words, just prefer them to be used sparingly.
I prefer to write in third person, mainly cause almost every book I've read is set out in that manner and it generally feels more like roleplaying when you don't use the word "I". I can do both pure sex rp's and non-sex rp's, not fond of violent rape or abuse though, my expertise is in reluctant pleasure with a mix of pain or just plain consensual. I do however have a fetish for using supernatural or science fiction implements in sexual roleplay if at all practical.
I know it sounds cheesy but I do prefer to play the male hero or one of the primary protagonists it suits my personality better, however, that said, I think I do have the ability to play the maniacal villain.
Hard limits:
No gay male interaction(I find it difficult to even think about it let alone write about it.) No hardcore rape/violence/torture, scat play, underage(unless its a norm for the rp culture), golden showers, necrophilia(excluding sentient undead)
Will mainly be online in the evenings GMT:+10/11 and can post multiple times during that time. However I do spend time with family, friends and play online games, so not every night is available.
Current ORP
The Hub(Sci-fi)
Current SRP
Chronicles of Lazdormu(World of warcraft based SRP)
On the Auction Block
Lord of the Rings RP(Legolas)
Obsidian(Sex club scenario)
Haze of the Future(Post apocalyptic DnD style RP)
Gem of the Flanaess(DnD style roleplay)
RP's that seemed to have died?
Devil's Lover
Skyrim based SRP
The Village(Sci-fi)
CYOA Fantasy
Last edited by DungeonsOfDread : 01-19-2013 at
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Literotica Guru
ChaseMePleez is offline
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Redacted due to trolls
Posts: 529
I can play male and female characters.
For human characters, I can play ages 24 - 35
heterosexual, bi-sexual and homosexual
Power Exchange:
I play alot of shy females who have a seductress lying just beneath the surface. I can play submissive or switch. I also play some real smart ass rebellious women who love a good argument and need to be tamed by the right person. My males are very blue collar dominant male characters who like to flirt and seduce.
I generally play Caucasian and/or native Americans in humans.
Alternate species/fantasy races/furries/mutations:
I love to play movie characters and other fictional species. Vampires, werewolves and such are favorites for me to play.
I do not limit myself when it comes to body type so I can't generalize it.
Present day settings/historical/futuristic/fantasy
I am into classic seduction, the scoundrel ending the innocence of a young girl. Bondage is a plus for me especially when paired with blindfolds. I do like some toys used during sexual play. I can play either submissive or dominant. Spanking is also a kink of mine too.
Hard limits:
.incest, minors, hard violence, rape
I am online almost everyday, mostly at night so its not hard to find me.
The key thing to remember about me is that I am very open to new ideas. All you have to do is ask.
Last edited by ChaseMePleez : 01-02-2013 at
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text:
I've been using computers since I was going in to my teens, and since then, they have always been my focus both as a hobby and a career.
It essentially began with the occasional visit to an uncle who owned a ZX80, I've always laughed that he didn't give me the manual, or I didn't notice it, but each session, punching away at the membrane keyboard got me more and more hooked until eventually I picked up a ZX81 for myself. I progressed through a variety of machines, programming and exploring as well as killing vast amounts of timing playing games. Like you do. I like to think the machine that gave me the biggest satisfaction and return on the time I've spent using them, was the Commodore A500. Even though we have far superior systems today, nothing matches it for its charm and magic. I began programming 68000 assembler there, and received my first introduction to a Unix type environment. I had so much fun with that system, and it's custom chipsets, writing demo's and stuff. That machine was way beyond it's time.
I finally got my hands on a PC and tried continuing with assembler, but I gave up due some annoying PC architectural differences from the Amiga, things you take for granted, ended up playing around with MSDOS, Turbo Pascal and Visual Basic. Around about then I was hired in to my first IT job, and focused on Microsoft desktop\server technologies in the business. After having spent a fair bit of time as an admin, I felt I needed to move on to find something I truly enjoy doing. Well, due to some remarkable events, I ended up becoming an SMS Administrator. It's one of the smartest moves I've ever made career-wise. It's a wonder product, and never ceases to keep me busy and interested.
What makes me different than most other ConfigMgr administrators? Not much, and that is why I like to help if someone needs a hand. Obviously, not to be taken as I like to do other peoples work, but when it comes to helping share knowledge, I'm always happy to do so.
I keep a blog here. Maybe I'll have a flash of inspiration and post there something that takes your interest :-)
I'm an founding member of WMUG. Get's me talking to folk just like you, helps me share a great deal of knowledge and meet like minded folk. It is the home of my blog, and pretty much for everything else I do with ConfigMgr.
Oh, yes, of course, I should have said earlier :-) I'm an MVP for Configuration Manager 2007 since Jan 2009. Ever grateful to Microsoft for putting me one step closer to the product group for ConfigMgr, and allowing me and the other ConfigMgr MVP's to be a channel for the community.
If you've like to get in touch, by all means go ahead. However, I've disabled the ability to email me from here as I get excessive spam as a result. so if you want to email me then do so on rob [A-T] wmug [d-o-t] co [d-o-t] uk
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Latest Congressional Attempt To 'Fix' Mobile Phone Unlocking Just Punts The Issue Until Later
from the not-a-good-idea dept
If so, it's a disaster. It does nothing to fix the problem. Worse, it just kicks the can down the road in the hopes that people will forget about it. Here's what it does:
- It tells the Librarian of Congress to "repeal" the existing failure to exempt phone unlocking and replace it with the exemption that was put in place back in the last rulemaking in 2010 (which was a weaker unlocking rule than the one before it). That "new" / "old" ruling will stick around until the next rulemaking in 2015 when the Librarian might decide to dump it again.
- Within one year, the Librarian of Congress, with the help of the Register of Copyrights, is supposed to determine whether or not to extend the exemption further to things like tablets (as requested by the White House).
- It explicitly states that nothing in the bill changes anything of importance.
Congress has a real chance to fix something here, but so far has chosen not to actually take a position of leadership and do anything. How typical.


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|Lower Hutt, New Zealand
|High School:
|Sacred Heart College
2013 (Sophomore):
Pye backed up her stellar freshman campaign with a fantastic sophomore season, finishing second on the team with 50 goals while playing in all 32 of Pacific's matches. She is one of just nine players in school history to notch 50 scores in a single season, and currently sits 15th in program history with 78 goals. Pye recorded a career-best four goals versus UC San Diego (Feb. 24), Concordia (Mar. 3) and Cal State Monterey Bay (Mar. 9), and added hat tricks against CSU Bakersfield (Jan. 27) and UC Santa Barbara (Mar. 23). All told, she registered 15 multi-goal games, tied for most on the team. Pye led Pacific with 45 steals and finished second on the team with 42 assists, setting a career high with five helpers against Concordia (Mar. 3) and Hawai'i (Apr. 6).
2012 (Freshman):
Appearing in all of the Tigers' 29 matches while starting 19, Pye finished her freshman season with 28 goals. She had seven multi-goal games on the year including four hat tricks. Four of these games came in Pacific's final five matches of the season as she averaged 2.00 goals per game to close out the season. Pye notched hat tricks against Big West foes CSU Northridge and UC Santa Barbara in consecutive days while also putting up a three-spot against UC Davis on Mar. 25. She also contributed 31 steals, 23 assists, 11 field blocks and 10 drawn ejections as her versatility was on display. Pye was recognized with the Defensive Player of the Year Award at the team's postseason banquet.
Pye was a member of New Zealand's U-17 squad that participated in the Pan Pacific International Tournament in 2010. In 2009, she led her country's U-16 team to a first-place finish at the Hawaii Invitational Tournament. Pye was the captain of New Zealand's U-15 team in 2008, earning Player of the Tournament honors after leading her squad to the Pan Pacific International Tournament title.
High School:
Pye prepped at Sacred Heart College in Lower Hutt, New Zealand. In 2011, she led her school's senior team to a first-place regional finish and a third-place finish at the national tournament, earning a spot on the New Zealand Secondary Schools team. Pye led her school's team to a national title in 2009.
Pye played club water polo for the Hutt Water Polo Club, leading the senior team to a third-place finish at the National League finals in 2011. She paced her squad to a fourth-place finish in the same tournament a year earlier while leading her U-16 club team to a runner-up finish in 2009. Pye was named the U-16 team's Most Valuable Player in 2008.
Pye was born in Lower Hutt, New Zealand, and is the daughter of Steven and Linda Pye. She has two brothers, Ben and Adam, and two sisters, Ashleight and Brooke. Pye enjoys playing tennis and watching the All Blacks, New Zealand's men's national rugby team. She is majoring in sports pedagogy.


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|OUMNH Number:
|Name and quarry location:
|Imperial porphyry, porfido rosso antico, from Gebel Dokhan, Eastern Desert, Egypt
|Geological description:
|Andesite-dacite porphyry with pink phenocrysts of plagioclase feldspar. The purple colour is due largely to trace piemontite, the manganese member of the epidote group, and indicates a degree of metamorphism. It is from the Precambrian basement rocks.
|This is a very typical example of the imperial porphyry from Gebel Dokhan (the ancient Mons Porphyrites) in the Eastern Desert of Egypt. The geological term 'porphyry' for rocks with larger crystals in a fine-grained groundmass, comes from this rock which is itself named from the Latin for purple. The imperial quarries were worked from at least the 1st century through to the 5th century AD, using a workforce of slaves. The ancient quarries were rediscovered in 1823, and their location was described by the quarry hunter William Brindley (1887). They were never reopened on a commercial scale, so virtually every example of this stone seen around the world was quarried in ancient Roman times.
|Borghini (1997) 274; Brindley (1887); Corsi (1845) 200-204; Harrell (2010a); Lazzarini (2002c) 233-235; Mielsch (1985) 64-65, taf.21; Price (2007) 202-203; Rogers (2008) 45-47
|Further information:
|Corsi's classification:
|Class 15. Porphyry; Species 1.; i. Antique porphyry
|Corsi's text:
|193.1 Porfido antico. Marmor Porphyrite. Porfirite. Porfido rosso... la prime cave del porfido rosso si aprissero presso l'istmo di Sues. Di altra cave di porfido aperta nella Tebaide... si è chiamata Tebano. Marmo Romano


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National Insurance NICL Apply Online Recruitment 2018 Assistants In Public Sector Online Recruitment for the post of Assistant in Class-III Cadre | RECRUITMENT OF
NICL Recruitment
2017/2018 Assistants In Public Sector 2600 vacancies
National Insurance Company Limited invites applications from eligible Indian Citizens on behalf of all the four Public Sector General Insurance Companies with a combined human resource base of 65651 having 6116 offices/business centres in every nook & corner of the Country with total Premium Income of Rs.35000 crores for the year 2018/2018 for recruitment of 2600 (Two thousand six hundred) Assistants in Cass III Cadre from open market. National Insurance Company Limited would coordinate the written examination, thereafter, Interview and Computer Proficiency Test for the short-listed candidates would be conducted by each Company in their respective zones where their Head Office is situated (except in certain cases).
Company may conduct Written Test on more than one date, if need be. Candidates can apply for vacancies in one State only and will have to appear for Written Test from a centre of that particular state. For example, candidate applying against vacancies in West Bengal State can appear from West Bengal only and would be considered for employment in that State only, in any of four companies.
Summary of Company wise & Category wise Vacancies (provisional)
Scale of Pay (Pre-revision): 7640-440(1)-8080-480(2)-9040-540(5)-11740-625(2)-12990-760(3)-15270-790(2)-16850-840(5)-21050.
Emoluments: Total emoluments (Pre-revision) works out to approximately Rs.15000/- per month in the initial stage in a metro city. Other Allowance may vary depending upon the place of posting. Apart from allowances other benefits such as lump sum domiciliary medical benefit, membership of Group Mediclaim Policy for Reimbursement of hospitalization expenses, leave travel subsidy and other staff welfare schemes would be as per the rules of the Companies.
Educational Qualification Graduate from a recognized University OR Pass in HSC/Equivalent (XII pass) examination with 60% marks (50% for Ex-servicemen, SC/ST and Persons with Disabilities); and Knowledge of Regional Language i.e. Language of the State of Recruitment is essential.
Age (As on 30th June
i. Minimum Age: 18 years; Maximum Age: 28 years (as on 30.06.
2017/2018). Candidates born not earlier than 1st July 1985 and not later than 30th June 1995 (both days inclusive) are only eligible to apply.
Download Hall Ticket / Admit Card – Recruitment of 2600 Assistants
Apply Online : 2017/2018.pdf">Click Here
For More Recruitment : Click Here
Important Dates
|On line Registration commences from
|May 18,
|Last Date for Registration of Online Applications
|Extended to June 12,
|Payment of Application fees
|May 18,
(both date inclusive)
|Dates of Written Examination
|July 14,
|Download of the call letter for examination
|Within 7 days prior to the date of examination


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Home - Images - Products - Data - Publications - Contact
Back to Pinnacles Perspective Views
Download a 300dpi TIFF Image (9mb)
Oblique color shaded-relief view and bathymetric profile of Alabama Alps Reef, Pinnacles Region, Gulf of Mexico. The view is looking northwest (See arrow 9 on index map for location). The isobaths are in meters below sea level, the distance across the bottom of the image is approximately 700 meters, and the vertical exaggeration is 5x.


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There isn't a lot to say about The Clash that hasn't been written umpteen times before. With six books to their name scribed by various sources together with acres of articles, their story has been told from numerous angles on many different levels. As a longtime devotee of the band - I bought my first Clash 7-inch ('Know Your Rights') in the spring of 1981 aged 11 - I'd wholeheartedly recommend both 'A Riot of Their Own', former tour manager Johnny Green's account of his three years spent on the road with the band, and 'Passion is a Fashion', Pat Gilbert's fairly definitive warts and all 2005 biography. Of course part of the romantice with such publications for me and legions of other fans that were just too young to see the band in action is the unrelenting myth which surrounds them. Be it self-proclaimed or otherwise ('Last Gang In Town' anyone..?), there hadn't been anything like them before their arrival and - perhaps Manic Street Preachers aside - hasn't been anything that compares since.
And so onto Sound System, a whopping great package by anyone's standards. Designed by bassist Paul Simonon to replicate a ghetto blaster and featuring all of the band's studio albums bar one notable exception, 1985's Cut the Crap which to all intents and purposes was a Clash album in name only. As well as containing their first five albums - The Clash, Give 'Em Enough Rope, London Calling, Sandinista! and Combat Rock, all re-mastered by guitarist Mick Jones, there's also three CDs' worth of extras including non-album singles, b-sides, live tracks, demos and unreleased material. Furthermore, there's also a DVD which features previously unseen footage shot by Julien Temple and Don Letts along with excerpts from a live show at Sussex University in 1977, the aborted Clash On Broadway film project and every promotional video the band ever made (although 'Rude Boy', the feature film first screened in 1980 is also conspicuous by its absence). Add numerous badges, stickers, a dog tag, notepad, poster, paperback book and three copies of their Armagideon Times fanzine including one specially written for this compilation and you've a mammoth-sized treasure trove of music and memorabilia for any discerning Clash enthusiast.
Listening to each album in chronological order, the progression made over the course of five short years is startling. While the spit and sawdust, three chord amphetamine and adrenalin fest that was their first LP won't win any prizes for innovation, when considering these tracks were laid down at the outset of 1977 it must have sounded like something from another planet at the time. Even now, looking back at television footage on old Top of the Pops re-runs and such like, the mid-to-late Seventies were quite possibly the most anodyne, nondescript period for popular music in history. After David Bowie and Roxy Music had instilled a wave of divine inspiration at the beginning of the decade, the seventies had lost their way dramatically, buried under a wave of safe, middle of the road mediocrity and preposterous novelty acts. Something drastic was required. Urgently. And with the arrival of The Clash and the Sex Pistols, a new movement was born. The songs that make up that firt album - and particularly the accompanying demos on the Sound System Extras CD - sound like embryonic ventures into songwriting. 'I'm So Bored of the USA', which actually started life as a love song ('I'm So Bored Of You') purveys a charming clumsiness in lyrics like "Yankee detectives are always on the TV", yet still manages to sound urgent by every chorus. Though the early Clash are probably best summed up by album closer 'Garageland' ("We're a garage band, we come from garageland"). That they were already recording the follow-up less than twelve months later tells its own remarkable story.
Lambasted almost immediately for its supposed 'over production', in hindsight Give 'Em Enough Rope gave the earliest indication of The Clash's intentions to gatecrash America. Hiring Blue Oyster Cult manager-cum-producer Sandy Pearlman to oversee the recording process, songs like 'Julie's Been Working For The Drug Squad', 'Stay Free' and 'Safe European Home' all marked a departure from the raw colloquialisms of its predecessor. Of course, the interim period had seen them release '(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais', four minutes of breathtaking, groundbreaking audacity some critics were calling 'punk rock's "Bohemian Rapsody"' at the time. The sea was abruptly changing and with Topper Headon now firmly ensconced behind the drum kit in place of original sticksman Terry Chimes, Give 'Em Enough Rope signalled the dawning of a new era for The Clash. And it wasn't about to end there...
Mention The Clash to anyone these days and nine times out of ten they'll respond with the same two words; 'London Calling'. As with Give 'Em Enough Rope before, the band were back in the studio just over a year on from its release. However this time, the results were altogether more bold and magnificent. Produced by Guy Stevens, the man allegedly responsible for Mott The Hoople's existence, London Calling was a sprawling, genre transgressing opus spanning nineteen songs over two records. Though tracks like 'Hateful' and 'Death Or Glory' stuck religiously close to The Clash blueprint of foot-to-the-floor no nonsense rock and roll, songs like the title track, politically motivated yet poppy 'Spanish Bombs' and nearest thing the band had ever gotten to writing a ballad 'Train In Vain' heralded a further progression. And 'The Guns Of Brixton' and 'Rudie Can't Fail' fused dub, reggae, ska and even calypso with the latter in a way that confirmed their ascension to rock's major league. London Calling was the first Clash record to break America, eventually attaining platinum status. From that moment on, The Clash never looked back. And the possibilities as to where they'd go next limitless.
If London Calling was an ambitious attempt at gatecrashing the world of double albums, then the band's fourth record, Sandinista! was off the scale altogether. This time taking the shape of a 36 songs triple album, Sandinista! fused world music influences with all of the ingredients that had gone onto make London Calling such a reverential record, along with various collaborations and dub remixes of some of its focal tracks. At times maybe complacent in terms of quality control, there can be no disputing The Clash weren't content just sitting on their laurels with world domination at their fingertips. With very few obvious radio friendly singles among its over-populated number, Sandinista! signified commercial suicide in many ways. Again, receiving mixed reviews from critics at the time, it also alienated a lot of their original fanbase who'd since moved onto second wave punk bands like Sham 69 and UK Subs, artists The Clash were only too relieved to disassociate themselves with. Even today Sandinista! isn't the easiest of listens, particularly when attempted all in one sitting. But at the same time, as an artifact of a band continually pushing themselves beyond theirs or anyone else's wildest expectations of what could possibly be achieved, deserves a healthy slab of recognition regardless. Plus, when all's said and done, 'Charlie Don't Surf', 'Corner Soul' and 'The Magnificent Seven' all stand proud alongside the band's finest compositions.
By the time fifth album Combat Rock arrived in the summer of 1982, so had the futurists and new romantics. Whereas previously The Clash could almost guarantee a high chart position upon the release of any record, they had to settle for the album's lead single, 'Know Your Rights' failing to break the Top 40. In the States however, it was a different matter altogether. While still traversing boundaries at every turn, Combat Rock proved a more succinct affair than either of the two records that came before it. Its biggest single at the time being 'Rock The Casbah', which hit the Top 10 in America. Posthumously of course, both 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go' and its original b-side 'Straight To Hell' have since usurped '...Casbah' in the popularity stakes, in the UK at least. The former, due to it reaching number one in the singles chart ten years on from its original release thanks to a Levi's jeans commercial. Meanwhile the latter's backbeat rhythm being sampled on M.I.A.'s 'Paper Planes' six years ago rekindled interest in the band for a new generation.
Elsewhere, the band's near flawless run of singles is represented on discs one and two of the 3-CD Sound System Extras. Its also worth noting some of the excellent b-sides the band put out. 'Armagideon Time' off the flip of 'Bank Robber' we've already touched upon, while '1977' off debut release 'White Riot' with its "No Elvis, Beatles or the Rolling Stones!" refrain acted as something of a manifesto not only for The Clash, but punk rock in general. 'The Prisoner', taken from the '(White Man) In Hammersmith Palais' seven-inch and 'First Night Back In London' off the 'Know Your Rights' release also figure in the upper echelons of the band's back catalogue.
The question is, who in the current climate can afford to part with eighty pounds and upwards, particularly as there are already numerous other Clash boxsets, anthologies and compilations available on the market? Nevertheless, Sound System really is the definitive article, and with Christmas on the horizon, is sure to feature high on several wishlists.
9Dom Gourlay's Score


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Appalachian humor can be dry, colorful, and earthy. The chapters vary greatly ranging from topics of Love and Marriage; Schools, Religion; Lawyers; Mountaineers and the Law; Animals and Hunting; Mountaineers and City Folks; Health and Medicine; and Rural Life.
If you love Maynard Moose tales from the Northern Piney Woods, then be forewarned, this book might just be the funniest yet. The fourth installment in the Maynard Moose series, provides the back story for the Maynard Moose tales. In this whimsical telling of how Little Moose struggled with going to sleep each night, you'll meet Little Moose, Maynard's youngest cousin and his favorite kin, her parents Mr. and Mrs. Moose, the sheep and most important you'll learn the legend of Mother Moose and her kitchen. You'll also visit Moose Academy where young moose go to learn proper posture, Woodland Skills and counting to three over and over again. This whimsically illustrated story also includes a CD along with a Moose to English dictionary.
Tales of outlaws and desperadoes are one of the few types of folklore that are peculiarly American. The myths and legends surrounding such people as Belle Starr, Frank and Jesse James, and Wild Bill Hickock grip the national imagination just as tightly today as they did a century ago.
High John the Conqueror sometimes called simply High John or John was a slave trickster who always outwits Old Master. Much like Greek slave Aesop's animal characters, High John was the subject of a series of subversive narratives, whose mission was to outsmart his oppressors. Tall tales of High John's exploits flourished during slavery, but after emancipation they fell out of circulation and his antics were all but forgotten.
Everyone remembers the exploits of Br'er Rabbit and his cohorts Br'er Fox, Br'er Possum, and other sly characters. But while these tales were circulating among slaves in the southern United States, another set of stories was passed along just as enthusiastically only here the clever tricksters were female. Who better to tackle the stories of these sister tricksters than the San Souci brothers? Utilizing a contagiously rhythmic, pitch-perfect dialect, writer Robert gleefully interprets the exploits of Molly Cottontail, Miz Grasshopper, Miz Duck, and Miz Goose against worthy (and not-so-worthy) foes such as Mistah Slickry Sly-fox, Mistah Rooster, and Mistah Bear. Brother Daniel's comically realistic paintings capture the slapstick frenzy of these characters engaged in battles of wits against the rural Southern landscape that nourished the tales in their infancy.
This collection of humorous folktales from around the world share one common feature: the character of a fool.
Five minutes after his birth, Johnny Kaw is over six feet tall and still growing. When he outgrows his crib and even their town, his parents decide to move west where "little" Johnny can have plenty of room to play. After the family crosses the wide Missouri River to Kansas, Johnny sits down to play with his dog. His bottom ends up making the valley where his family will settle. And when Johnny clears stones from a field so his father can plow, he ends up creating the Rocky Mountains in the process. The legendary folk hero shapes the state's landscape by carving out valleys and creating prairies with his bare hands. Why, he even takes on a tornado when it threatens the family farm. Kansas native Devin Scillian spins a rollicking, rhyming yarn based on the tall tale of Johnny Kaw. Comedic, exaggerated artwork from artist Brad Sneed brings this character to BIG life.


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Murray diffuses spat with Federer
Andy Murray played down an on-court altercation with Roger Federer after beating the Swiss to advance to his third Australian Open final.
The incident occurred in the 12th game of the fourth set when Federer appeared to shout an obscenity at the third seed after believing he had stopped mid-point and was going to challenge a line-call on the baseline. Instead Murray played on and won the point with a forehand winner as Federer came in behind a weak approach.
Asked about it afterwards, Murray claimed "stuff like that happens daily in tennis matches" but would not elaborate on what was said.
It happened at a key juncture with Murray serving for the match. A fired-up Federer promptly broke and won the tie-breaker to take it to a deciding set.
Murray had the final word, though, cruising through the fifth to complete a 6-4 6-7 (5/7) 6-3 6-7 (2/7) 6-2 victory - his first over Federer in a grand slam - in exactly four hours.
"It was very mild in comparison with what happens in other sports. It was just one of those things," said Murray, who will meet defending champion Novak Djokovic in Sunday's final. "There's no hard feelings."
Federer also refused to hype up the incident, saying: "It wasn't a big deal. We just looked at each other one time. That's okay. We were just checking each other out a bit.
"It wasn't a big deal for me and I hope not for him."
The disagreement should not overshadow a performance from Murray which again showed he is now very much the equal of Federer, Djokovic and the currently injured Rafael Nadal.
In the last seven months, the Scot has reached the final of Wimbledon, losing to Federer, taken his revenge to win Olympic gold and also won his first grand slam title at the US Open. And in winning on Friday night, he also became the first Briton to reach three Melbourne finals.


text:
Modifiez des images
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Make the following LedgysValueLayer beautififul,keep the style and colors in accordance to our upcoming site : [url removed, login to view]
Very high quality and innovative design is expected for this central graph on our top landing page. You should respect all the text in the attached image, as well as the 3 layers. You should keep all the forms (the chain, the green logos) but should make the whole thing coherent.
The Ledgys Logo should remain in its official colors, blue and white (check [url removed, login to view])
We expect PSD, JPG, BMP format.
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Only on "Dancing With the Stars" can you be deemed "my little sausage" and come out on top. After 11 weeks, 19 competitive dances and way too many sparkles and sequins to count, the coveted Season 17 Mirrorball trophy was awarded to none other than ... "Glee" star Amber Riley and her pro partner Derek Hough!
It's no shock to see Amber walk away with the title. The sometimes Mercedes led the other two finalists on the judges' scoreboard going into Tuesday's two-hour finale results show, and only built on that lead with a perfect-30 dance fusion of the samba and quickstep.
"I want to let women of all sizes out there to know you can do whatever you put your mind to, it doesn't matter what size you are, what color you are," she said.
PHOTOS: Celebrity portraits by The Times
And this means Derek Hough is now a five-time pro champ, with his first back-to-back titles (he won last season with Kellie Pickler).
Corbin Bleu and Karina Smirnoff came in second place and received that standing with nothing but gratitude and smiles. Jack Osbourne and Cheryl Burke were fine with third place because Jack already got a Mirrorball from Cheryl for being the best partner ever.
"Just going the distance for me was winning enough," Jack said. "It's like Rocky. He went the distance. He didn't win." And we remember him all the better for it.
Each of the finalists had to perform a fusion dance routine for a last chance at judges' points. Corbin and Karina did a by-the-book fox trot/cha-cha that was excellent on the fox trot, but had a few slip-ups on the cha-cha. They got a score of 27 (and a two-day total of 89 out of 95).
Jack and Cheryl went next with their paso/salsa fusion, which was a cool mix (and Jack's first attempt at salsa) but which Carrie Ann called "a little flat-footed." They also got a 27 for their routine (two-day total: 84).
Amber and Derek went last with a samba/quickstep that Carrie Ann declared was a whole new dance entirely, and that all the judges deemed seamless, effortless and bedazzling, giving them a perfect 30 (total: 94).
The rest of this two-hour spectacular was a mishmash celebrating all that sparkles and shines in the glitterverse. And all the Season 17 stars came back (though Keyshawn Johnson, we really hardly knew ye).
PHOTOS: 'Dancing with the Stars' Season 17 cast
Bill Nye was rebuilt by Tyne Stecklein into the 6.5-Million-Dollar Dancer, and they performed their "Weird Science" cha-cha again with a clever acrobatic replacement. "I swear, sometimes it was like he was a completely different person!" Tom marveled.
Early evictees Christina Milian and Mark Ballas and Brant Daugherty and Peta Murgatroyd showed off their considerable skills by performing an impressive joint routine to Lady Gaga's "Applause" that had Kendra Wilkinson fanning herself from its hotness.
Elizabeth Berkley Lauren and Val Chmerkovskiy redid their down-and-dirty "Put Your Hands On Me" cha-cha that earned the season's first perfect-30 score.
Valerie Harper returned to dance a whole new routine with bonny Tristan MacManus. It was a highlight of the two-hour program to see these two together again.
"I just want to be fully present and savor ever moment," Valerie said.
I'll admit my eyes misted over when she avowed her love to Tristan, declaring him "a dream" (to which he charmingly replied, "I think you're all right"). "What a Wonderful World" (as performed by Colbie Caillat) indeed.
Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi was also back where she wanted to be -- back in the ballroom and dancing with Sasha Farber and a bevy of hot men. "I'm still a hot mess, but I'm a mom hot mess," she proclaimed. "Not that sloppy party girl anymore."
QUIZ: Test your 'Jersey Shore' vocabulary
Leah Remini and Tony Dovolani again performed their red-dance tango, while Bill Engvall and Emma Slater trotted out their samba to "Cuban Pete."
The freestyle encore should have been an early indicator of the night's winner, as the viewers voted to see Amber's and Derek's super-impressive, high-stepping Wild West shootout a second time around.
There was also an extra-special extended encore of the Foxing Awesome group freestyle featuring Amber and Derek (again), Jack and Cheryl, Corbin and Karina, and Brant and Peta -- acting like furries and dancing to a live version of "What Does the Fox Say" sung live by plush-wearing Ylvis themselves.
Because you can't have a song on the "DWTS" stage without dancing, Enrique Iglesias nearly gave me his "Heart Attack" when an unusually long time passed before the Pros finally came out. Luckily, that wasn't the case with Lady Antebellum's "Compass" -- our Pros were draped across the grand staircase when the song began.
Favorite lines:
"This is so much better than the suggested essay portion," host Tom Bergeron said of the 24-hour fusion dances.
"I'm happily married. But oh, you kids!" hinted Valerie Harper about what goes on off stage.
"I missed everybody. I missed your boobs and your body," said Snooki excitedly to Brooke Burke Charvet. They missed her too.
What do you think, ballroom fans? Did the right star win the coveted Mirrorball trophy? Or are we all winners for reaching the end of another stellar season? Sparkle out.