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|2013 official promo shot, looking a tidy version of how I look.
A few years ago I found myself - not for the first time - at an academic meeting with a few people joking about the clothes I wear and how I look. I guess they were, effectively, picking on me. I wasn't joining in with them, by the way, and I suppose that was the marker. I felt annoyed, fascinated, not very invested, and was very much there in the moment. I mean they mitigated it, of course, 'oh that's just you' and laughed, like the rules that they were talking about don't really apply to me.
Well of course they don't. Actually not only do they not apply to me, they also don't apply to them. Because the rules are not actually rules as much as a moveable feast of ideas that constantly change and mark things that most of us are entirely unaware of.
In my mid-thirties I began a PhD that focused on sexuality, gender and Indigeneity... it blended some of these identity markers, but as a research work that focused on my art practice, the blending was specific and it didn't provide any kind of overview. Sure, it needed to have consistency of thought around these three areas and how they manifest in my life, and more specifically in my body, but it didn't go beyond that. I thought gender was in there because it helped understand sexuality, and maybe even, to some extent, Indigeneity in the specific context of my life.
But that wasn't it.
Everything kept leading it's way back to the body, as the focus of self in art often has in my work. All sounds a bit eighties art school, but there we were. Each identity had it's own tensions in terms of my body. Indigenous - well I'm fair skinned, so that can be a thing, though frankly not something I spend much time thinking about. Lesbian - when I finally came out as a lesbian at 30, most of my friends either rolled their eyes and said 'about time', or looked at me blank-faced like they had always thought I was. In fact I spent much of my life to that point telling people that I actually was straight, so it came as no shock to anyone but me. Gender - heavens, that was another thing again. I had always been misidentified as male on the phone. Always. I have a very deep voice for a woman, and there is something about my voice that was read as male from a very young age. So the markers were deeper. Whenever I lost weight, as I had in my mid-thirties, or was wearing something gender-neutral(ish) I would also get mistaken for a man. This featured in my PhD work, as you can imagine. In fact there are some pics at the bottom, if you can't imagine. But I also came to realise that the multiplicity or even conflation of my identities were inflused with something else again, and it had been a subconscious reaction to how I am perceived by others. I obstinately won't dress the part - it is my personal political action. In many ways, through that process of the PhD, I began to wonder if it was almost exclusively around gender and how poorly I perform femininity, then I realised it was something else entirely.
That academic meeting was not a space where people were talking about my sexuality, Indigeneity or gender. They were talking about my messiness and that speaks to three identity markers (or any number) not being the only factors in any one, specific person. I have discoloured crooked teeth, I'm fat, I have one eye that doesn't properly open, I don't wear make-up and I choose to wear the clothes I do. I'd be a hard-sell - using standards of acceptability - done up 'right'. So I choose not to, I choose to be messy. Let me define that a bit. I'm messy, not dirty (that is the standard preface for talking about messiness, I learned that years ago when I worked on a piece with Ali Smith called The Clean Room), I frequently wear jeans and a t-shirt and a hoodie. I wear socks with boots, usually. Which sounds tidier when I write it like that, but I do look a bit of a mess.
My work kind of gives me the luxury of not caring - though that 'luxury' (actually let's call it a work condition or as I like to frame it, the Academic Freedom Statement that every university in Australia is required to provide under it's licensing agreement with TEQSA) is changing and I'm fighting back. I used to joke that I chose to work in academia because I had more time off when the Cricket was on, but that's not it. It was a perfect storm for me, a way to contribute something meaningful that I also knew I was good at, while being supported in maintaining a level of independent thought that went beyond the boundaries set by the physicality of universities.
Then everyone started wearing suits and appropriate clothing. As universities became more corporatised and more people started to fill up the ranks of the professional administration staff - a change I do not entirely disapprove of, though all swift changes have some significant implications - many things started to change and the clothing was simply a marker. One of them was that many people came from industries where corporate clothing was required (corporate attitudes too, but I suspect that would be another post by someone with experience across that environment). It happened at first with the professional staff wearing suits and girl-versions of suits (which were mostly also suits), and even that didn't happen overnight. It did, however, happen over less than a decade. Then I noticed two very different things started happening. The first was that some lecturers started to dress like that. The second, far more insidious, was that people started commenting on (mostly lecturers) who were wearing unusual clothing or footwear. 'You know, the guy who wears sandals', followed by an eyeroll. 'You're fine, but why does xxxxx wear jeans with paint on them?', to which I recall answering 'oh you mean the painting lecturer?' These comments and considerations DO undermine the authority of the person in question. And they're intended to. They are about judging their professional capacity.
I went to a major US conference in 2013, one of those big ones that has a lot of young graduate students vying for an elusive tenure-track position. It was held at a resort and when I was getting dressed that morning, I was trying to work out if I should wear shoes or not. I mean it was on a beach, four of the presentations were held - literally - on the beach. I'm happy to report I wore my boots, along with my jeans, tshirt and hoodie. The first presentation, in a makeshift motel room/presentation area was on English Literature ('Classics' was how they framed it) with the three young presenters - all female - positioned in front of the wall-mounted bedboard that could not be removed even when the beds themselves gave way to a newly formed presentation area. They were facing ten people in the audience, of which I was one. Each presenter, and their friends wore suits. Dark suits. Black or Dark Blue. Suits. Looking all the world to me like travel agents, I actually began to forget what each of them had presented on, so similar did they look. Yes, I recognise the irony that I am imposing my own views on clothes here. And in an interesting way, that was what led me to the next discussion I had with an American academic around my age. She said, oh yeah, they want to impress... which made me wonder that I couldn't discern one presenter from the other, which I would have found somewhat more impressive, and probably had little to do with their clothes. I asked if it worked. She said, nah, they think they are doing an actual job interview here, but they're doing the beginnings of one, and in the beginnings, it's Faculty (academics) like me (she was dressed like I was) that make the decisions, and if their clothing has an impact, it's probably one of resentment and may bring up a lot of issues around changes in the academy.
Sometimes I worry. Not about me, but about my Institution. And then I remember why I work there. I work there because they give me academic freedom AND academic expectations. I have to measure one against the other. I have conversations with key people, and those convos sometimes influence how they feel about the Institute and maybe to a lesser extent have an impact on me as an academic. It was over coffee that Dr Chelsea Bond of UQ that she shared with me one of the reasons she feels that she shouldn't be judged for her clothing choices. She said, 'I thought they employed me for my brains'. Precisely.
If we were to lose funding, or more likely never gain an important relationship with a key organisation because of how I dress... in the end I may have to examine this. But as the years progress, I've realised I do keep being invited to the party, in spite of how I dress, in spite of how much of a mess I am. And, as Chelsea said, I think it might be because - against all odds - I am more than the clothes I wear.
I realise there is also a lie in some of this discussion. I am all for not actively looking like a mess sometimes. My promo shots for work are largely tidy-ish. Or as tidy as I can be. I don't wear makeup. A few years ago, I did for a promo shot, it was girl clothes, make up and looking nothing like me. Or what my brother started to call the 'tit shot'. I put it on a promo sheet that went to people who would then meet with me, and nearly every person said 'oh your hair looked different in the photo'. Yeah, I don't think it was my hair.
N.B. Images below may not be safe for work, depending on whether your coworkers can discern the body part at the bottom of each poster. In all fairness, I did warn you I was in art school a few decades ago.
|Oops, I'm accidentally wearing a suit. There goes the messiness theory.
|Speaking of messiness.
|That's more like it.


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Podcast: Play in new window | Download | Embed
Imagine the Oscars, Golden Globes, and the Grammy awards. Now imagine an awards show 10 times better than that, and that's what you got with this episode! Put on your best suit or dress and join the FUT FM gang as they crown the undisputed winners of over a dozen FIFA 18 categories. From best to worst, this episode is the most hilarious, scientific, and accurate awards ceremony ever.
FUT FM Episode 31 Award Categories
Best CB
Best FB
Best Winger
Best CDM
Best CM
Best CAM
Best Striker
"Best" GK
Best Bakayoko position
Best formation that isn't 41212(2)
Most deceptive in game attributes (good)
Most deceptive in game attributes (bad)
Most disappointing player
Most glitchy player
Most useless skill move
Best skill move
Best way to concede in FIFA 18
Best budget player (offensive)
Best budget player (defensive)
Best super sub
Best afro
Best defensive player
Best offensive player
Best player regardless of cost
Overall best player with attainable cost for most players
This episode features drpoplove (Goran), Italian Stallion (Valerio), and Nellygotbored (Nenad). Thanks for listening, be sure to come back next week for our first 2018 episode!
P.S. You can always check out last week's episode here.

subset: commoncrawl


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Perfectionism in Sport: A meta-analytical review.
Hill, Andrew P., Mallinson-Howard, Sarah H. and Jowett, Gareth E. (2018) Perfectionism in Sport: A meta-analytical review. Sport, Exercise, and Performance Psychology.
Hill, Mallinson-Howard & Jowett (2018) SEPP.pdf - Accepted Version
Download (1MB) | Preview
The current study provides an updated and meta-analytical review of research examining multidimensional perfectionism in sport. In doing so, studies that report the relationship of perfectionistic strivings and perfectionistic concerns with a range of motivation, emotion/wellbeing and performance criterion variables are examined. A literature search yielded 52 studies and 697 effect sizes for 29 criterion variables. Random effects models revealed that perfectionistic strivings displayed small-to-medium relationships with a mix of maladaptive and adaptive motivation and emotion/wellbeing, and a small-to-medium relationship with better performance. By contrast, perfectionistic concerns displayed a small-to-medium relationship with maladaptive motivation and emotion/wellbeing, and were unrelated to performance. After controlling for the relationship between the two dimensions of perfectionism, the relationships displayed by residual perfectionistic strivings were indicative of it being less problematic, and the relationships displayed by residual perfectionistic concerns were indicative of it being more problematic, than their unresidualised counterparts. There was also some preliminary evidence that some of the relationships were moderated by gender, age, sport type, and instrument. The findings suggest that perfectionistic concerns are clearly maladaptive for athletes whereas perfectionistic strivings are complex and ambiguous.
|Item Type:
|Additional Information:
|"©American Psychological Association, 2018. This paper is not the copy of record and may not exactly replicate the authoritative document published in the APA journal. Please do not copy or cite without author's permission. The final article is available, upon publication, at: http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/spy0000125"
|B Philosophy. Psychology. Religion > BF Psychology
|School of Sport
University Staff: Request a correction | RaY Editors: Update this record
|ID Code:
|Depositing User:
|Dr Andrew P. Hill
|Deposited On:
|19 Apr 2018 14:32
|Last Modified:
|22 Feb 2019 18:30


text:
Quick SpecsMore Info
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8 - 10: Great for temperatures 15°F and below.
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A quality ski pant with great fabrics and features, the Boulder Gear Ravish Ski Pant is a great value for girls. The Ravish has a 10K waterproof rating, 80g of insulation, zippered leg vents in case she gets too hot, and lots of pockets so she can carry her own stuff. This kids' pant also has the Grow Feature, which allows the legs to be extended an additional 1 ½". This means you'll get more than one season out of these great pants.
- Fabric Rating: 10K Waterproof / 5K Breathable
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Questions and Answers
REVIEW SNAPSHOT®by PowerReviews
Reviewed by 3 customers
Comments about Boulder Gear Ravish Ski Pant Girls', White, L:
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Comments about Boulder Gear Ravish Ski Pant Girls', White, L:
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- Waist:
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Comments about Boulder Gear Ravish Ski Pant Girls', White, L:
These Boulder Gear pants do not fit my daughter, who is slim. The pants are so wide that she looks like wearing two huge bags. I returned it and bought Kiltec pink pants, they are gorgeous, the color and quality are better. Even though it says slim fit, my daughter is able to put in her baggie sweatpants inside it comfortably, just wanted to help out those trying to find the right fit.


text:
Bringing a new baby home is stressful in more ways than one, especially if you have other kids or pets.
On top of caring for a newborn, there's that nagging worry in the back of your head about how the huge change might affect the family dynamic. Will your other children feel jealous or ignored? Are you neglecting your pets? The latter had been on Michael McGowan's mind ever since he learned he was going to have a daughter. He wanted to make sure his dog, Molly, still felt special, so before his little girl was born, he made plans to give the pup something to call her own.
Under the stairs in McGowan's house was a walled-in spot, which turned out to be the perfect area to build Molly's room.
After creating an opening in the wall and checking out how much space he had to work with, McGowan hired tradesman Paul McArdle to help with the job.
Not only did Molly get her own furniture, decor, and toys...
...but she even got color changing lighting, too!
I'd say this girl is pretty pleased with her indoor dog house. As it turns out, she likes her new human sister, too!
(via Bored Panda)


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The match between Rajasthan Royals and Delhi Daredevils wasn't supposed to be such exciting, but thanks to the rain, we got to see a wonderful match finally.
Delhi Daredevils won the toss and decided to field first. They had brought in Shahbaz Nadeem for Amit Mishra and Glenn Maxwell in for Dan Christian. RR went in with an unchanged side.
The first wicket that fell for RR was that of D'Arcy Short, who had a déjà vu of his dismissal in his IPL debut against SRH, as he was run out for 4 runs. Then Rahane (45 in 40 balls) and Ben Stokes (16) started to give the innings some momentum before Boult sent back Stokes with a beauty of a delivery.
Samson (37) and Rahane added 62 runs for the 3rd wicket. However, Jos Buttler (29 off 18) and Rahul Tripathi (15*) had started to give RR innings some momentum in the 18th over with the score at 153/5 when rains came down pouring and stayed put for more than 2 hours.
As the rains halted, Delhi got a revised target of 71 runs in 6 overs to win the match. DD opened with Glenn Maxwell and Colin Munro, while RR opened the bowling with K Gowtham, as two bowlers could bowl two overs each.
Colin Munro was run out first ball, giving RR the perfect start. Glenn Maxwell hit some lusty blows in his 12 ball 17 (2x4; 1x6), but Laughlin had the last laugh as he had the big show caught behind with a slower one.
Rishabh Pant lived a charmed life for his 14 balls 20 but was dismissed by Unadkat, as Gowtham took a skier with ease. In the end, RR won the match by 10 runs via DLS method.
RR 153/5 in 17.5 overs (A RAHANE 45; S NADEEM 2/34) beat DD 60/4 in 6 overs ( R PANT 20; B LAUGHLIN 2/20) by 10 runs via DLS METHOD


text:
In need of legal assistance or advocacy? Our Law Firm is the solution to your problems.
Our law firm provides its services at a high professional level, quickly and with complete independence. We are members of the AEA (International Lawyers Network).
JUDr. Richard Gürlich, PhD.
CEO, attorney-at-law
Mgr. Klára Voznicová
JUDr. Kamila Janoušková
junior clerk
Mgr. Ivana Sabaková
junior clerk
Vendula Karlíková
Jan Pazdera
In this section we have prepared for you series of useful advice and information related to legal specifics of the Czech Republic.
Copyright © 2019 Advokátní kancelář GÜRLICH & Co.


text: This is a quick sketch and value study with a bit of character exploration. I'm working on a new story with a character who stirs things up a bit. I like the idea of a little weasel because, he is a bit mischievous yet still holds an innocent charm. Anyway..Here is one of the quick sketches I'm playing with.


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Guide to a Mums Pregnancy and Birth Complications
During pregnancy and labour there are a variety of checks and tests that should be either carried out or arranged by your midwife. Whilst you do not have to have the screening tests, these tests will allow healthcare professionals to manage any complications that they find either with you or with your baby.
Some of the conditions and complications found during pregnancy and labour include:
Anaesthesia Injuries
During labour, you may be given an Epidural or general anaesthetic to numb the pain. It is common for women who have had an epidural to experience numbness and tingling for a period following birth. It may be that a midwife or other healthcare professional couldn't administer the epidural in the correct place the first time round so they have to try more than once but that isn't usually a sign of a negligent act. If you experience prolonged (more than 2 months) loss of feeling or weakness in limbs you may have suffered nerve damage and this may be grounds to make a claim for compensation.
Chorioamnionitis can be caused by E. coli and group B Streptococci infections. It is a bacterial infection which causes inflammation of the foetal membranes and can cause complications for mum and baby. It is thought that chorioamnionitis could cause pelvic and uterine infections, blood clots, endometriosis and sepsis.
If not treated quickly enough, your baby could go on to get sepsis, meningitis or severe respiratory problems.
Although the presence of chorioamnionitis would not be classed as negligence, if the diagnosis of this condition leading to a delay in starting appropriate treatment or if treatment isn't started quickly enough and mum or baby go on to suffer complications, you may have grounds to make a compensation claim.
Folic acid deficiency anaemia
Folic acid is a key vitamin (B9) required for the healthy development of a foetus. Folic acid deficiency can increase the risk of spina bifida and neural tube defects. During pregnancy, as part of your antenatal care, you should be offered a range of tests which includes a blood test. You don't have to have these tests. If the tests show you are anaemic, you should be given iron and folic acid.
If you opt to have the tests and anaemia is found but nothing is done about it and it results in complications, you may have grounds to sue for negligence.
Group B Strep infection
Group B Streptococci infections are bacterial infections that develop in the vaginal or rectal area. Up to 25% of women in the UK carry the bacteria with no symptoms or side effects. Testing for this infection is not offered routinely though it may be found during other testing. If a Group B Strep infection is found during pregnancy you should be offered antibiotics from the start of your labour and until your baby has been delivered.
Complications to your baby from Group B Strep infections can include Meningitis, Pneumonia, Sepsis and stillbirth. Mums can also get bladder and uterine infections as well as a fever.
If treatment isn't started quickly enough and mum or baby goes on to suffer health problems as a result, there may be grounds to make a compensation claim for medical negligence.
Maternal Infections
Birth injuries can be caused by infections caught by mum such as rubella, chicken pox, Group B strep, syphilis, toxoplasmosis, urinary tract infections (UTI) and Hepatitis B. Some infections are completely harmless, however some can cause serious medical problems.
If baby contracts rubella from mum, the condition is far more serious and can cause a host of complications for your baby such as hearing and visual problems, cerebral palsy and inflammation to the brain.
Rubella screening stopped in April 16 and currently midwives do not test for Group B strep infections however blood tests are usually offered around the 8 to 12 weeks point of your pregnancy. You do not have to have the blood test but this will help to find out whether mum has any infections.
The presence of infections do not necessarily mean that there is clinical negligence. If infections are found and the treatment of those infections is started within the appropriate timeframe, it is unlikely that there will be a breach of duty. If however infections are found but treatment isn't given within the correct timeframe and those infections result in harm to either mum or baby, there may be grounds to make a claim for clinical negligence.
Placental Abruption
The placenta is the organ which supplies food, oxygen and blood to your baby. A placental abruption is when the placenta detaches from the uterus wall. Whilst the causes of this are unknown, it must be closely monitored because it could cause significant birth complications for a baby such as cerebral palsy.
If mum experiences stomach pain, vaginal bleeding and frequent contractions, these could be a sign of placental abruption.
Placental abruption is a medical emergency if mum is near her due date and baby may be delivered by emergency caesarean. If the signs of a placental abruption are ignored by healthcare professionals and it goes on to cause injury to mum or baby, there may be grounds to make a compensation claim.
Placenta Praevia
This is a rare condition but it has significant complications associated with it and needs to be closely monitored by your midwife and medical professionals. Placenta praevia can cause stillbirths, infant seizures and asphyxia. It occurs when the placenta covers part or all of the cervix. A common symptom of placenta praevia is excessive vaginal bleeding.
At your scan around 18 to 21 weeks, an ultrasound scan should be performed and the position of the placenta should be recorded. It should be scanned again around the 32 weeks mark if it is found that the placenta is low lying.
Medical negligence may be established if at your first scan it was recorded that your placenta was low lying but a second scan was not performed or the second scan was performed but no action was taken. The low lying placenta has to have caused an injury to baby or to mum for breach of duty to be established as part of legal tests when assessing a claim.
Ectopic Pregnancy
Is when an egg attaches itself to a fallopian tube. If this happens, it may cause health problems for the mum. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done to save the baby.
An ectopic pregnancy will usually be managed by closely monitoring the mum to see if the egg naturally is removed from her. If it is not, medication or surgery are the other treament options. An ectopic pregnancy could result in the rupture of a fallopian tube which is a medical emergency.
Medical negligence may be established if an ectopic pregnancy is identified but appropriate treatment isn't taken and the fallopian tubes rupture.
Surgical Injuries to Mum
During a C-section, surgeons may accidentally cut organs near to the site of the incision. This doesn't necessarily mean that a negligent act has occurred. If for instance the surgeon fails to identify your bladder during a C-section and it is in the normal physical position, there could be a case for negligence.
Additionally, if you have had a C-section and the surgery nicked you bladder but that nick was not identified, you may have a case for negligence. You may experience serious complications such as blood clots, haemorrhaging, infection and even sepsis.
Vaginal Tearing
An episiotomy may be performed during delivery to help increase the size of the vaginal opening and make delivery easier. The area between the vagina and anus may tear whilst in delivery and an episiotomy can help to avoid this and can also help with the direction of tearing. There are several degrees of tearing ranging from non to 4th degree.
A quick guide to whether a tear is negligent or not:
|Negligent or not
|1st Degree
|Not Negligent
|2nd Degree
|Not Negligent
|3rd Degree
|Probably Negligent
|4th Degree
|Definately Negligent
If an episiotomy has been performed or a tear has been experienced, depending on the severity the patient may be stitched internally and externally usually with dissolvable stitches. Sometimes the stitches can be too tight so the midwife should be careful not to overtighten the stitches.
Gestational Diabetes
Is most likely to occur during the second half of pregnancy but it can actually occur at any time. It can cause complications to the mum and baby if it is left undiagnosed and treated.
Gestational diabetes can cause a baby to grow bigger than normal, as a result, the baby may get stuck in the birthing canal then need to be delivered by C-section. The risk if the baby get stuck would be oxygen depravation.
As a result of gestational diabetes, there may be too much amniotic fluid surrounding the baby which could cause premature birth. The medical term for this condition is polyhydramnios.
It can also cause pre-eclampsia and even stillbirth if not treated correctly.
If left undiagnosed or untreat and harm comes to the mum or baby, there may be grounds to make a compensation claim.
This condition has symptoms of protein in the mum's urine and hypertension. The mum could also experience Swelling in the face, hands, ankles and feet, headached, problems with vision and pain below the ribs.
If this condition is left undiagnosed the mum may have fits (eclampsia), these fits could cause the unborn baby to suffocate. Around 1 in 14 unborn babies may die and around 1 in 50 mums may die.
It is important that the mum is monitored if they have pre-eclampsia, if the condition is not diagnosed or monitored correctly and the condition goes on to cause further injury to the mum or baby, you may have grounds to make a compensation claim


text:
Long distance relationship: push and pull
Dear Friends,
Thank you for your questions. Please use the form above to ask a question. Remember, if you have a pressing question that needs answering soon, please consider a donation to THE GUYS. (Read above for details) This will move your question to the top of the line. (Answered within 1-3 days) Otherwise your question will go into the general queue which has a 3-5 week delay right now.
For those of you who have donated, thank you. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.
Some recent questions:
Was breaking up with him the right thing to do?
High school dating to college long distance relationship
What do I do now? How can I leave my relationship?
Getting back together: Is it possible?
Confused about this man's thinking?
Long distance relationship: Trying again?
Dear Guys,
Ok, So I met this guy who's 31—I'm 35. We met out in San Francisco in early March 2011. I live in Atlanta. I met him through a friend and from the very moment we met he pursued me heavily. Even when I got back home from SF he was texting me wanting attention, answers, and basically asking me if he had a chance. I basically decided to go for it. We continued this affair through Skype (ALOT), hundreds of texts, pictures, phone calls, etc. for months. I planned a trip for him to see me in Atlanta for three days. The trip went well, but upon his return he slowly started getting cold feet, stating the reality was getting to him. Anyway, this is after 2 months.
We continued the relationship but he stated he wasn't sure if he was ready, but was still open to the idea. I booked yet another trip to SF and flew out there 3 weeks later after his visit. This time it was for 5 days just with him. I will have to be honest, he's very warm, sweet, and inexperienced in the relationship dept. He wanted to make me happy, impress me, take me out on trips, etc. There was a lot of sex. I mean a lot. But also with other activities included. It was wonderful, but I was a little out of my comfort zone and started noticing him freezing up the last day, not wanting to hold my hand and not really expressing himself.
On my plane ride back he basically told me he wasn't feeling it. That day a lot of drinking was done and I was a little edgy. When I came back, I was angry and hurt. He was basically trying to cut ties with me. Through the next three weeks, we ended up speaking again and he basically said to me that he had deep insecurities, and that I could do so much better than him, and he was in a different place in his life. That he hasn't achieved much and he had un-resolved anger. That he could see me getting hurt down the road. The letter was heartfelt and sincere and I can see he has some issues to work through. I continued to talk to him for 45 days and tried to get close!
But the entire time has been push and pull. Hot and cold. He said he has feelings for me and doesn't know what it is when he's around me, but something makes him feel wonderful, he misses me, wants to see me. Then the next day he pulls back but continues to text, call late night. I get angry and start getting hurt but ask him to come visit again. He says we shall see… Never does, and always has an excuse. He just basically seems confused and back and forth and conflicted, yet won't let go. I have decided to fly back out to San Francisco to visit a friend and he TRULY wants to see me, saying it would be a "dream" to have me and see me. Yada, Yada, How wonderful. Yet, he's said four days prior he's not ready.
Ok, I am not ready to give up on him. But what is he doing? How should I go about this? What is he trying to say? I am very independent, pretty female that took a risk on someone that doesn't do as well financially, nor quite mature in some regards but he carries such a warm space in my heart. I need to know how to win him and to get him on the track of this long distance thing in hopes for us to be together and come home to one another eventually. It's not easy, but so far we are going on five months. It will be six by my next visit.
THANK YOU FOR listening. I'm trying to stick to actualities and facts. I do have very strong feelings for him or I wouldn't be writing all of this, right?
Dear Jennifer,
Thanks for your question. We got to it as quickly as we could. Sorry for the delay.
We think you really need to look at his actions, not his words Jennifer. What you're describing is a common pattern among men when it comes to long distance relationships. We're not saying all men are like this, but certainly enough to label it as a pattern.
Here's how it goes:
Before the actual visit the guy is excited for you to come. He texts. He calls. He romances. He's involved. He's present. All of these actions and feelings are genuine, but often misplaced. We say misplaced, because the origins of some of these actions are sex based. Meaning, the anticipation of the upcoming sex is enough to fuel much of his pre-visit actions. Is it all about sex? Not necessarily, but it's a big factor for guys.
Now the actual visit. It starts off great. Lots of fun. Lots of sex. He's excited. All is well. But as the visit goes on, it becomes less about sex, and more about a relationship, and so reality hits for the guy, and that's when he starts thinking with his actual head. And for many guys, the reality is very different than the fantasy, so he begins to question if he wants it or not.
By the time the visit comes to an end, the guy is distant and he's already trying to figure out his exit plan. He starts blaming it on himself. Telling you there's something wrong with him, most likely because he doesn't want to hurt you, or he doesn't want any drama. By the time you leave, he's already got one foot out the door, and he's managed to confuse you beyond belief. You say, "How can he want me so much, but then not want me?" Our answer: He can. Trust us.
So then you leave, and for the next few weeks, he remains distant, uncommunicative, uninterested. Then he starts thinking about sex again, maybe two or three weeks after you leave, and he starts associating you with all the fun he had, and all of a sudden he starts reconsidering his previous actions. The next thing you know he's calling again, texting you, and missing you.
Then the cycle begins again.
This is exactly what you're describing Jennifer. It's possible he could come around, but we're just saying: Tread carefully here because we're concerned you're going to get hurt repeatedly based on what you're describing.
Good luck and take care,
ps. Leave us a follow up comment. And let your friends know about us. Thanks!


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Fleas and Bedbugs
Fleas are tiny insects, 2mm long, can jump as high as 16 inches and can start laying eggs soon after their very first meal. They are wingless and are flattened side to side, red-brown in colour with backwardly directed spines and legs designed for jumping.
Although pets are the most common way to get fleas, home without pets can also get infested. If you go outside, you can bring fleas in to your home.
They are parasites that live on a host's warm blood, biting the skin and sucking the blood to feed. There bits can cause intense irritation around the central bright red spot, but different people can react in different ways.
Phone Alpha Pest today to rid your premises of fleas in an efficient and discreet manner.
Bedbugs are usually found in premises that have a high resident turnover, such as hostels, holiday camps and flats. It is usually a small brown disc about 3.5mm long and it is wingless but the legs are well developed and they can crawl up most vertical surfaces, e.g. bed legss.
They generally emerge to feed at night and their bits can cause severe local irritation. They also produce a characteristic unpleasant smell.
Phone Alpha Pest today to rid your premises of begbugs in an efficient and discreet manner.


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What We Do
We help Financial Intermediaries spend less time on regulatory compliance, and more time serving clients.
Client Onboarding
Losing prospects due to slow & frustrating onboarding processes is an every-day risk.
Our technology can simplify and streamline your onboarding.
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AML & KYC Compliance
Money laundering is the greatest ongoing compliance & reputational risk for financial institutions.
We can help you proactively identify risk factors and risky client behaviour.
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FATCA and CRS/AEOI compliance can be challenging, especially if clients use complex structures.
Take the pain out of reporting by easily identifying affected customers.
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New consumer protection laws put an extra layer of requirements on firms serving non-institutional investors. Our software ensures you track suitability & appropriateness correctly.
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PEP or sanctioned entities and individuals may not be forthcoming with their status.
With our AI based automated screening, you can get greater confidence in identifying a prospects true status.
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Adverse Media Screening
Client behaviour can pose a reputational risk to institutions.
Adverse Media screening is an essential part of a risk-based approach which we can provide.
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Out of date and duplicated data is the enemy of accurate data. A significant risk factor for compliance.
Our software helps you deduplicate data and maximise reuse of data, for faster onboarding and easier compliance.
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About Us
We are a small company based in the beautiful canton Zug, Switzerland.
This is our management team.
Wille Faler
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Wille is a technology industry veteran of almost 20 years and has worked on a consultancy basis with organisations such as the Financial Times, BBC, UBS and Barclays Wealth Management.
He combines deep technical know-how with a thorough understanding of the regulatory landscape financial institutions face today.
Languages: fluent English, Swedish, Finnish & intermediate German.
Efuah Faler
Commercial Director
Efuah holds a degree in Financial Economics from City University London.
Her background is in finance & compliance.
As well as working for boutique consultancies in London, she has also worked for Bloomberg LP.
Languages: fluent English & basic German.
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Tag Archives: Willie Nelson
Leon Russell "A Song For You"
Leon Russell's "A Song For You" was recorded in 1970. I don't think it was an accident that Elton John's "Your Song" came out a little later. Elton always said he considered Leon his mentor. To my ears "Your Song" could not have been created without the Leon Russell song. The song is on Leon's […]
Posted in music Tagged as: Andy Williams, Donnie Hathaway, Herbie Hancock, Leon Russell, The Carpenters, Willie Nelson Leave a comment
April 20
As the story on Wikipedia goes: In 1971, a group of people in San Rafael, California, calling themselves the Waldos because "their chosen hang-out spot was a wall outside the school", made a plan to search for an abandoned cannabis crop. The Waldos designated the Louis Pasteur statue on the grounds of San Rafael High […]
Posted in 4/20, music Tagged as: 4/20, Black Sabbath, Bruno Mars, Cab Calloway, Fraternity of Man, Jamey Johnson, Kris Kristofferson, Little Feat, Rick James, Snoop Dogg, The Toyes, Willie Nelson, Wiz Khalifa Leave a comment
All In The Family
I saw the band Tweedy this week. The core of the band consists of Jeff Tweedy on vocals and guitar and his son Spencer on drums. Spencer's loopy drum style constantly kept his dad on his toes as opposed to the precision drumming style of Glenn Kotche, Jeff's drummer in the band Wilco. It […]
Posted in music Tagged as: Billie Joe Shaver, Cheap Trick, Cher, Frank Zappa, Peter Gabriel, Soulfly, Stevie Wonder, Tangerine Dream, Tweedy, Van Halen, Willie Nelson Leave a comment
New Music Tuesday
I can't wait for the AC/DC story to one day come out. This band has been rocking now for over 40 years and they've looked death, murder, addictions and dementia square in the face, shrugged and just kept moving on. They're new album is called fittingly enough "Rock Or Bust". Their drummer might be facing […]
Posted in music Tagged as: AC/DC, Willie Nelson Leave a comment
September Songs
September represents the start of school, the time to put away those shorts and begin a new chapter in your life or reflect on times past. This is probably the reason there are more songs with September in the title than January. January may represent a new year but it's still winter, nothing has really […]
Posted in music Tagged as: Barry White, Big Star, Earth Wind & Fire, Fiona Apple, Green Day, Johnny Cash, Neil Diamond, Rosanne Cash, The Happenings, The Shins, Willie Nelson Leave a comment
Playing With Dad
Last week Wilco frontman Jeff Tweedy released a song with his son Spencer on drums. They're releasing an album called Sukierae (pronounced "sue-key-ray"). According to dictionary.com, it's not really a word so we'll just have to trust the Tweedys' on this one. Any fan of Tweedy's work will love this song and he allows Spencer plenty […]
Favorite Drinking Songs
The cool thing about drinking songs is that no music style has the patent on the right way to create the perfect drinking song. Hip Hop to Country to Rock they all have created some memorable songs. I know St. Patrick's Day is about more than just drinking so let's just say it's a coincidence […]
Posted in music Tagged as: Beastie Boys, Billy Joel, Busta Rhymes, Elliott Smith, Eminem, Foreigner, Freddy Fender, Garth Brooks, Hank Williams, KISS, Merle Haggard, Minutemen, Nina Simone, Oasis, Snoop Dogg, The Doors, The Pogues, Thin Lizzy, Tom Waits, Willie Nelson Leave a comment
Veteran Musicians
Veterans are ordinary citizens doing amazing work. Occasionally a few also become proficient at making music. Happy Veteran's Day! Elvis Presley Army: March 1958 and March 1960 Johnny Cash Air Force: July 1950- July 1954 Jimi Hendrix Army: May 1961-June 1962 Ice T Army 1976-1980 Sammy Davis Jr. Army Willie Nelson Air Force 1950 […]
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Get Out
Could there be a better summer time concert experience that witnessing Willie Nelson with Trigger and Lyle Lovett at The Hollywood Bowl? Don't answer because it's a rhetorical question. Just get yourself to The Bowl this weekend as Austin, Texas comes to The Bowl. They're playing both Friday and Saturday night under the stars. […]
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Super Bowl Music Commercials
As everyone knows, most of the people who tune in to the Super Bowl are watching for the in-between game fun, like the halftime show, the Puppy Bowl and of course , the commercials. Here are my favorite music inspired commercials throughout the years. We'll start off with this year's Flaming Lips Hyundai spot. 2012 with […]
Posted in commercials, music Tagged as: Alice Cooper, Ed McMahon, Eddie Rabbit, Elton John, Eminem, Flaming Lips, Flava Flav, KISS, MC Hammer, P Diddy, Richard Simmons, Robert Goulet, Willie Nelson Leave a comment


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AUDIT, tax and consulting firm RSM has acquired Swindon-based chartered accountants Banks BHG in a deal which will see the firm expand its presence in the south west.
Banks BHG is a long-established firm of chartered accountants, auditors and tax advisers, providing specialist accountancy and taxation services to small and medium-sized businesses as well as private wealth clients.
The firm, which has two principals and 30 staff, currently has a turnover of around £1.5m.
RSM is the UK's seventh largest firm of audit, tax and consulting services with revenues approaching £300m a year. The firm has 3,400 partners and staff operating from 35 locations throughout the UK.
As part of the agreement, Neil Elsden will become a partner with RSM, Bernard Harrington will stay on as a consultant and all 30 staff will transfer to RSM's Swindon practice.
Following the merger, RSM's Swindon team, which recently moved to new premises at Hermes House in Firefly Avenue, will total 70.
David Gwilliam, RSM's chief operating officer, said: "Banks BHG is highly-regarded in the local market and the merger of the firm with our existing Swindon team gives RSM a fantastic opportunity to serve more clients along the M4 corridor and across the south west.
"We look forward to welcoming Neil, Bernard and all the Banks BHG staff to RSM."
Neil Elsden, director at Banks BHG, said: "We are very excited to be joining RSM. Combining the complementary skill sets from both firms will give additional breadth and depth to our overall service offering for the local market.
"RSM's size and scale will also enable us to better support our clients to achieve their local, national and international ambitions."


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Sway, New Forest
An idyllic chocolate-box property that's wonderfully positioned for exploring the beauty of the surrounding area, including spectacular walks through the New Forest and along the Solent coastline.
Take time out to relax in this charming cottage. Enjoy meals together in the stylish open-plan kitchen/diner, take a dip in the hot tub, or warm up beside the wood burner after a long walk through the spectacular New Forest.
Traditional country cottage a short stroll from the village pub. Explore the New Forest National Park which is five minutes from the cottage making this perfect for outdoor enthusiasts.
This former village bakehouse is the perfect base for a relaxing break. Unwind with a dip in the hot tub, strike up the BBQ or tuck up beside the wood burner after walking in the beautiful New Forest.
Lymington, Hampshire
A cosy apartment overlooking the marina in Lymington, offering an ideal couples' getaway close to the New Forest with many walking and cycling routes making this an ideal base for a fun filled break.
Lymington (2mls NW), New Forest
Spacious studio accommodation set in a pleasant spot on the edge of the New Forest. A stones' throw from Lymington and with many walking and cycling routes, it's the ideal base for a fun filled break.
Barton on Sea, New Forest
A charming character cottage in a village location within walking distance of the beach. Explore the nearby New Forest National Park, harbour town of Lymington or simply light the fire and relax.
Lymington (3mls SW), New Forest
A charming cottage with a wood burner and garden, centrally located in this pretty coastal village. Located a stones' throw from the beach and amenities, it's the perfect spot for a relaxing holiday.
Burley, New Forest
Located down a forest track, this property is an enchanting picture-postcard cottage. Wisteria adorns the front of this charming property which is within easy reach of some of the area's most interesting villages and towns.
This charming cottage is situated within the village of Burley. The open forest is just a short walk away, and a choice of local tearooms and pubs on the door step.
Christchurch (2.5mls E) , Dorset
This stylish property is the perfect base for a relaxing break, offering boutique styling, easy access to the beach and the New Forest National Park, plus a wide selection of amenities close at hand.
Spacious three bedroom family apartment with modern facilities in the friendly, picturesque New Forest village of Burley. With all main amenities within walking distance, this property is ideally positioned.
Tiptoe is a small village at the south west corner of the New Forest National Park. It is close to Lymington and New Milton for days at the coast. The village is extremely well placed to enjoy the New Forest at its best with access to footpaths, cycle trails and the train line to other towns in the area from Sway, including Bournemouth and Brockenhurst.
If you're looking to base your forest holiday in lovely Tiptoe, take a look at our collection of Tiptoe holiday cottages and self-catering accommodation above. Each of our properties are hand-picked for their quality, and offer all the comforts and luxury you could wish for.
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Here at Momentum Physio at Locker 27 we are asked this question on a regular basis and the honest answer is, "it depends" everyone is unique. We differ in limb length, height, weight and joint positions, some of us may have suffered injuries or had operations all of which will affect our flexibility and strength.
Having said that I believe that there are a basic range of motions and positions that everyone should be able to achieve (or get close too!) Research shows that a loss of range in particular joints has a strong correlation to injuries. Check the video link to see how flexible you are.
If you find some of them difficult then check out our instagram feed for daily mobility videos https://www.instagram.com/momentumphysio/


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Jyrki's eyes, even more blue than I remembered, bored into mine as though by doing so he could see past my face and into my soul. I did not back down or look away. I had learned in the last few years a thing or two about myself and he no longer intimidated me instead he made me angry and anger was easy to use. I had loved this man once, the very sight of him had made my teen aged heart race and my knees weak but over time things had changed and it never ceased to astound me how quickly love could turn to hate.
He had aged and the last couple years had not been kind to him. His once handsome face was now etched with the lines of battle and stress, worry and something else I could n0t define, something I had not picked up on when I had seen him at the med-lab after Cati had died. A fresh scar ran down the side of his right cheek and there were fresh bruises on his knuckles. He had been in a fight recently and it had been a hard one. His long hair, which had once been blacker than a Hutt's heart was now peppered with strands of white. It had not escaped my notice that he still had a slight limp as he had walked into the cantina to make our meeting. That limp had been my doing from our fight on Rothana, although at the time he had not known who I was. I wondered absently if his limp reminded him of me, then decided I didn't really want to know the answer to that one.
"Yer look well Mouse." Jyrki finally said, breaking the strangled silence between us.
I arched an eyebrow at him. "Where are they?" I asked pointedly. I did not have time for niceties and I wasn't about to sit and make small talk with the man who was holding my family against their will for reasons I still did not know.
"Safe." He replied after a terse minute of quiet. "Mouse, yer need to understand…"
I waved a hand abruptly at him, cutting him off mid sentence. "I don't have to understand anything!" I hissed through clenched teeth, leaning into the table to get closer to him. "You kidnapped my family to get to me. Now I am here so get to the point, what do you want?"
He sat back in his chair and toyed with his glass. "I need yer help." He finally said.
I could not have been more surprised than if he had told me he wanted to marry me. "What?"
"I need yer help." He repeated.
There was a lengthy pause and then I replied carefully, "And for that you took my family hostage?"
"Would yer have come if I hadn't?"
I glared at him and shook my head. "I'm done with you." I told him. "You chose your side and you made your position clear. You hurt me, damn it, you very nearly killed me and not just once and for what?" I pressed, "Because you cannot let go of the past." I bit back the words that threatened to spill out of my mouth angry and vicious. Ranting at him would be pointless, my words would fall on deaf ears so I drew a deep breath, swallowed my fury at him down to answer the original question. "No, I would not have come, not for you alone." I said. "Now…my family…."
He nodded and again we stared at each other. "They're safe, if that's what yer need to know."
"What do you want in exchange?" I asked. He had not lied but something was not quite right in his words. I might have been able to sort it out had I opened up to the force but I did not want him to see my strengths in this area. My force talents, since he had first met me, had become far stronger than I wanted him to know. My talents had been honed and sharpened by both Lord Vader and the Emperor and while I had not become what either man had wanted I had still learned. I was certain that even Jyrki would be concerned by what I could do were I to let the full extent of my training both in the force and the combat arts fly. It was a hidden weapon and I wanted it to stay that way until I absolutely needed it.
"I told yer, I need yer help." He was being deliberately evasive.
I waited him out instead of pushing, giving him a get to the point look.
He leaned into the table, his body language letting me know he did not want anyone else to hear what he had to say. "I need yer to help me kill Luke Skywalker." He said.
For a moment all I could do was stare at him, unsure if I had actually heard him correctly. Then with a shake of my head I simply said. "You're mad."
He leaned back in his chair again, anger flashing in his beautiful eyes. "Perhaps," he said carefully, "but hear me out."
I folded my arms across my chest, sitting back against my chair back and waited.
"He is the son of Anakin Skywalker…." He began, trying to find the right words to explain his plans.
"I know that!" I interrupted.
"Anakin turned to the dark side…."
"I know that as well." I said bluntly, annoying him.
He drew a deep breath. "Mouse…yer must see it, the connection?"
"You think the son of Anakin Skywalker will turn to the dark side." It was not a question.
Jyrki nodded. "I know he will."
I cocked my head to one side. "Know? How?"
"I've seen it." He said quietly. "I've had force visions of the future. He takes on the mantel of Emperor; he turns to the Dark side to rule the galaxy."
I shook my head slightly. I, too, had seen this vision but I wasn't about to tell Jyrki this. "How can you see the future?" I asked putting as much disbelief into my words as possible.
His shoulders heaved with the sigh he made. "It's a force talent. Sometimes some people who are force sensitive receive visions of the past or the future." He explained, slumped over with the burden of it all. "I was trained from the time I was a baby to trust in the force and all its ways. I have had visions all my life Mouse."
I shook my head. "But how can you see the future if it hasn't even happened yet? And if you can how do you know that is exactly what will happen? The future can change."
He nodded. "Master Yoda used to say that the future was fluid and always in motion but even so there is still truth in the visions. A few weeks before Anakin Skywalker came to the temple with the five-oh-first I had a dream about him. I saw him dressed all in black and where his face had been was emptiness, like a black hole, swallowing all the good all the light in the galaxy. In my dream he was destroying the jedi temple stone by stone."
"It was just a dream." I countered playing devil's advocate. I knew enough about these sorts of dreams to fill a book but I wasn't sure I wanted to share that with Jyrki.
Jyrki snorted. "I had spoken about my dream with one of the masters and he had looked worried as I did so. Anakin Skywalker was controversial at best amongst the council members of the Jedi Temple and even we children knew that. I grew up knowing him, admiring him but also being a little scared of him. He was the Chosen One. He was so strong in the force that it was almost as it he shimmered in it, but there was a terrible darkness to him as well. Whispers of his temper, his impatience and his attachment to his mother as well as other people, all the things we are taught from the very beginning to avoid were in him. Even Master Windu did not trust him."
"I though it was all harmony and love at the Jedi temple." The sarcasm in my voice made me sound petulant but I didn't care.
Jyrki made a face and shrugged. "They were troubled times, Mouse. The galaxy was at war. The jedi were supposed to be keepers of the peace not warriors but Anakin was the best there was. He and his master Obi-Wan were heroes to us, they almost always won and they always came back alive but I heard the whispers when the adults thought us children were not paying attention. They thought Anakin was unpredictable and dangerous, that he relished the fights he lunged into too much and he killed too easily. There were also the rumours that he was having an affair with Senator Amidala. Towards the end, just before all nine Corellian hells broke loose; there were even rumours that she was pregnant. I didn't understand then, I was just a small boy at the time, but now I do, she carried Anakin's child, well…children."
"How does this make Luke evil?" I asked, trying to unravel his insane logic.
Jyrki gritted his teeth and glanced away. "I've seen him turn, just like his father. He will find the spirit of Palpatine and take it into himself, turning to the Dark Side to rule over the galaxy. I've had the same dream over and over again. History repeating itself all over again and I cannot let it happen. I cannot let anyone else suffer the way I suffered, the way all the children and people in the Jedi temple suffered or the way the galaxy suffered under the rule of a sith master."
"Okay, so you've seen him in a vision, that doesn't mean you have to kill him." I countered, frowning. "I thought he was the hero of the rebellion, how can someone who has done so much for your side of this conflict suddenly be so bad?"
"He is a hero. Without his skills as a pilot we would never have won, without his help at Endor Vader and Palpatine would still be alive but that doesn't change the fact of what will happen if I don't stop it." He said flatly, "Which is why I need yer help."
"What the hell can I do?" I asked. "I don't even know him."
Jyrki smiled and I didn't like it much. "Yer are force sensitive, Mouse."
I snorted. "My powers are nominal at best." I lied.
Jyrki raised both eyebrows. "Yer underestimate yerself. Even as a child yer powers were strong. If ye'd had been trained properly yer'd have been a powerful jedi, I am sure of that."
"Well I am grateful that never happened. I hate the idea that I would have been brainwashed into a weapon for the Jedi masters to use." I shot out before I could censor myself.
Jyrki shrugged. "Yer had so much potential, Mouse. I wish I could have done more to save yer."
I sighed and shook my head. "I still don't see how you need my help in your quest. You are quite capable of killing Luke Skywalker yourself, hell you've shown me how violent and vicious you can be." I snapped. "I will not kill him for you."
"I am not asking yer to kill him for me, I need yer to distract him for me." He tried to explain.
I shook my head. "You're asking me to be the bait and that makes me an accomplice. You're asking me to swap my family's life for Skywalker's. I can't do that Jyrki. If I do that I am no better than Anakin or for that matter, you."
Jyrki clenched his jaw. "I will get what I want. I need yer help, I have yer family in a place yer will never find and they will die if yer don't help me."
He wasn't lying and fear rippled through my heart. I didn't know what to do and I was certain he meant every single word he had just said. He was nuts and hell bent on doing this terrible deed.
"I need time to consider this." I said after a long pause.
His smile was nasty. "Yer mean yer need time to wait to see if yer can get help. Well if that's the case, forget it, he won't help yer."
"The Tze'yusha'Jin." He replied.
"Uncle Vahlek?" I asked as my heart skipped a beat. I hadn't actually been thinking about him but something in Jyrki's smirk scared me.
"Yer uncle…" Jyrki snorted. "He's not related to yer at all!"
"I know that but he's family all the same." I bit back, "What about him?"
"He won't be coming to help yer out this time because he's dead."
I suppose my face must have blanched because Jyrki automatically reached forward to touch my hand, some measure of comfort for the bad news he has just dumped on me. I snatched my hand away from him as though he would burn me and he scowled. I tasted his words and knew that he was not lying to me. He really believed Uncle Vahlek had died. My heart seemed to stop and I held my breath as though in doing so I could make his words go away.
"How do you know this?" I eventually whispered.
"I watched him die." He said simply.
I shook my head in disbelief. Uncle Vahlek was Tze'yusha'Jin, one of the best in the galaxy if all I had ever been told was correct. He was a well trained assassin and hunter, killing him would not have been an easy task. "How?"
Jyrki sneered. "I told yer to warn him that I'd deal with him if he did not back off. I knew he was following me I knew what he was after. Did he think I was stupid? He's not the only one who has received training at the hands of the Anzati. He came after me here, would have succeeded except he's not a force user and I am. We fought not too far from here on one of the gantry-ways. He lost his concentration just long enough for me to kick him over the side and he fell. No one could have survived that fall and I have not felt his presence since."
I could not stop the tears that welled up in my eyes. Jyrki had not lied and as he had spoken I could almost see what he was describing in my head, as though he were force projecting the images to me much the way Lord Vader used to do. "You bastard." I whispered, anger welling up from deep inside my gut. I had to fight from reaching across the table to grab him and smash his head with my fist. "You have no idea…no idea at all." I half babbled, wanting to tell him that he had just murdered the man who might very well be his father. I clapped a hand over my mouth to keep the secrets from spilling out. Hot tears ran over them and I was trembling.
"He came after me." Jyrki said sounding sulky.
"You tried to kill me with an Anzati blade." I spat, "He's my sworn guardian. What did you expect him to do?"
Jyrki stared at me. "That was an accident, Mouse. I didn't know the blade still held poison."
I shook my head. "You're as stupid as you are vengeful." I was too angry now to watch my words or care if what I said triggered his temper. "You want me to help you kill Luke Skywalker because you're afraid he'll turn to the dark side and use his powers in anger but you are just as bad."
"I never used my force abilities in rage, Mouse." He spoke so softly it caught me off guard. "I have never once done that but you have, haven't you?"
I was about to retort but realised he was telling me the truth and as I thought back to every encounter we had ever had including the time he had saved me from being raped I understood it was the truth. He had never used rage to fuel strengthen his powers, although I was certain that sometimes anger had tainted his motives. He had perhaps seen what he could gain from that but he had never used it. He had watched what turning to the Dark side had done to Anakin Skywalker and it had stuck with him forever, this terrible memory which had become Jyrki's greatest fear. He was also right about me. I had tasted that surge of power driven by anger and hatred. The Emperor had seen to this personally. I knew that taint of blackness and how easy it would have been to open up and allow the anger to rule but it was a choice that was made consciously and I chose not to use it. However, it seemed that, unlike Jyrki, I wasn't scared stupid by it either.
"That's why you want me to do this for you isn't it." I asked quietly.
"Yer've touched that darkness, I feel it Mouse. I sense yer anger and I can feel yer desire. Yer ruled by yer passions, even now I sense it in yer." He shrugged almost arrogantly, as though he were somehow better than I was because he had never succumbed to that dark side of human nature and I wanted to slap him, proving him right which infuriated me even more.
"That may be so but at least it doesn't make me act like a frightened durni, kidnapping people and using blackmail to get what I want!"
He avoided that topic by saying, "It's a simple thing. I need yer help to get to Luke Skywalker."
"Why don't you just go to him yourself? If you tell him you're force sensitive he will take you on as a student and then you will be as close as possible to him. I heard he was trying to rebuild the jedi order, isn't that what you want?"
"Only a Master could rebuild the Jedi Order and Skywalker doesn't have the training. He's the son of a Sith Lord and he will walk his father's path, I have seen that much. I will not allow him to know that I have this power because he will try to corrupt me if he learns of it."
There would be no arguing with him about this. How could one argue with insanity? "How do you expect me to help you then?" I asked switching to a less confrontational tack.
"I know where he will be in seven day's from now. Yer will find a way to meet with him in private and I will deal with him when yer do." He said.
"By deal with him you mean kill."
"It is the will of the force, Mouse, I have seen it. Why else would I have been sent these visions if it were not?"
I didn't think he wanted to hear my answer so instead I stayed quiet thinking about how I could possibly circumnavigate this mess. "Where will he be?
Jyrki smiled and it sent a shudder down my spine. "Yer must think me stupid to give up that information." He said.
"You're asking me to be an accomplice to murder. Stupid is not the first word that comes to mind."
"Yer haven't agreed yet."
"I want assurances my family are safe and well. You could be lying for all I know." I spat.
Jyrki smiled slightly. "Still have not honed that particular skill yet? I would have thought that Palpatine would have taught you better."
"A lot of what you thought was wrong." I said through gritted teeth. At least he had no idea of just how much better my force powers were which would be a small point in my favour.
He sighed and dug out from his pocket a small holo recorder. He set it on the table and pushed it to me. "There is a message from yer father on it but I suggest yer open that up in private. Yer've got two days to decide his fate and that of the rest of yer family. I will be here at the same time two days from now and if yer answer is yes then I give the word to set them free if yer not here I will have them killed and a bounty placed on yer head as a traitor to the Rebellion. Yer may have erased all records of who yer worked for but I know and I have ways of getting information. It would be a shame if yer face were to be plastered all over the HoloNet as Vader's protégé."
"I was never his protégé!" I yelled. People turned to stare at us and I felt a hot flush creep into my cheeks.
Jyrki smiled nastily knowing he'd found a sore spot to dig at. "I beg to differ on that point, Vader liked yer, he trained with yer, and he taught yer things. I know because Antygra told me all about yer relationship with that man as well as how Palpatine favoured yer. I have data stored away that wasn't erased, enough to condemn yer and yer family forever. I even know about yer alien lover, what was he called… ah yes the Grand Admiral Thrawn, also dead, by all accounts. There is no one from the Imperials left on yer side Mouse. I'm all yer've got. Do yer really want to lose the last people who care for yer for the sake of the Sith? Yer will help me destroy the Skywalker legacy and end this reign of terror forever. It is that simple and yer have no choice."
I managed to look away, feigning sorrow at his words when really I was angrier than I had been in a long time. My shoulders shook with the weight of it and it took all my strength to shove it down as deeply as I could. By the time I looked back at him I had my emotions under control. "Alright." I said, "I'll do as you ask but my family goes free and after this you will leave them alone forever or I will make sure you regret it for the rest of your life."
He smiled. "Smart girl. I knew yer would see reason sooner or later." He ignored my threat, he did not think of me as all that dangerous.
"Reason has nothing what so ever to do with this." I spat.
"Everything I have ever done was for yer Mouse, don't yer understand that? Yer have no idea how terrible the Dark Side can be and yer have no idea how much I want to protect yer from that evil path."
I shook my head. "You are completely insane."
"Perhaps, but if that's what it takes to end the reign of the Sith then so be it."
"Luke Skywalker is not a Sith Lord." I said, surprised at the words coming out of my mouth.
"Neither was his father until he was turned. It only takes one thing to do the job." Jyrki countered.
"It was the brutal torture and death of his mother by Tuskens that twisted Anakin Skywalker. Would you do the same to me?"
That surprised Jyrki, I read it in his eyes. He had not known this but in the end it changed nothing. He blamed Anakin for destroying his life and now he was going to get even. No matter what he told me his reason underneath it all it was still revenge. I glared at him as I stood up to leave, reaching to grasp the holo recorder from the table but as I did so he grabbed my wrist. "Don't try anything stupid Mouse, yer not that good. I should know I taught yer."
I just stared at him until he let go of me, picked up the recorder and left the cantina without looking back. My hand was shaking as I slid the recorder into my satchel and for a moment I thought I would be ill as a wave of dizziness washed over me. I had agreed to help assassinate one of the Galaxy's most beloved members to save my own family. Never mind what I thought of him, Skywalker was a hero and by helping to murder him I would go down in history as reviled as Palpatine and Lord Vader were or die in the process of trying. Neither outcome was something I wished for.
I stumbled back to my hotel room, unaware of my surroundings. The sensation of being followed was there but I had felt someone watching my every move ever since the first time I had left the Cantina, now I did not care any more. It was most likely one of Jyrki's people, I know they had followed me before and had even searched through my hotel room when I wasn't there but anything of value I had I kept on my person. If he had hoped to find out anything more about me he was mistaken.
I got back to my room and all but flung myself down on the bed too wound up to think, cry or sleep. I had two days to come up with a way out of this situation as well as how to rescue my family and I wasn't sure I could do this, especially not alone. When I suddenly remembered what Jyrki had said about Uncle Vahlek the tears came. I could not believe he was dead; I didn't want to trust the news Jyrki had given me but I knew he had told the truth. The ache of loss hit me hard and sudden. I curled into a little ball on the bed and wept.
The Madness Divine 1
2 comments:
What is it with us women? We always feel that we have to fix things on our own and sort out our own problems without any help, for whatever reasons. I still do it and "it" usually ends up turning around and biting me back.ReplyDelete
yeah, I don't know the answer to this. But this is a problem only I can sort out and really it is my problem.ReplyDelete
How did things get so messed up?
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Join my mom and I for The Astrologer's Daughter radio show with personal development Michelle Morgan. All astrology. All improvised. Totally loony. Tune in Sunday from 7-8pm PST at 1150kknw.com or live in Seattle at 1150am and get a free reading and coaching! Have your exact time of your birth ready and call 888-298-5569.
Follow me on twitter @astrodaughter or on our Facebook page!


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#missionminorsoftball #missionstrikers #softballbc
Silver Medal at Districts!!Submitted by Kelly on Mon, 06/11/2018 - 23:11
The Mission Strikers U 10 softball team won a silver medal in their district playdowns in Maple Ridge this weekend, The girls went 3-1, relying on steady pitching and lively bats to propel them to the final,
They met some good defence in the final and just fell short. A great weekend of softball though and the girls really came together as a team,
Thanks to all of the parents for coming out and supporting the girls , not just tonight but during the season. The future of softball is bright in Mission!


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Happy Monday everyone! If this is the start of your week I hope it was fabulous! Today I am going to brag about my mama for a bit. She is AMAZING! I don't know what I would do without her in my life. I'll give you a little background on just why I and I'm positive most anyone who meets her thinks she is out of this world. She is a mother of 22 kids for starters. I promise it's true though hard to believe at times! She and my dad had 7 of their own and adopted 15. And if that doesn't show you what kind of person she is, I don't know what will! She has the biggest and kindest heart ever! She loves on and takes in kids who have no one. She gives and gives to others, never asking for anything in return. Some of us call her human Google because she is so knowledgeable about any subject you throw her way. Oh and I have to mention she home schooled pretty much all 22 of us kids! I would have gone insane but she takes it all in stride!
Truly there are a million things I can say about my mama but if I could highlight one thing it would be how supportive she is. Over the last two years my husband and I have gone through some hard and tough times. That's a story for another day and time but during it especially over the last 6 months my mom has loved and supported me in so many ways. She has been there for me in my darkest moments, loving and praying for me. I don't think I could have walked through all I did without her! I love her so so much!!
If you have someone you want to brag on a little, leave a comment below. I would love to hear about them!


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Need a date night or just an evening without the kids? The CDC and Youth Center can help from 1830-2300! Call the CDC at 481-7502 or the Youth Center at 481-7903 to reserve your spot!
Back to All Events
Earlier Event: February 16Movie: Wonder
Later Event: February 19President's Day Free Bowling


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Compare to first week: 150518
2A) 4X3 Hang Snatch High-pull@110% of 3 position
2B) 4X5 Pendlay row
3) 4 rounds for reps:
2 minute AMRAP:
Rope Climbs
rest 2 minutes
1) Box Shoulder Stretch 4×0:20 2) 2×0:30 Inverted Hollow Hold on Bar, if you cannot do an inverted hollow hold, do 2X10 Floor-lever negatives.
3) 3×6 SLOW Chest to Rings Pull-Ups with false grip 1331 tempo
4) Spend 5:00-10:00 Working on Handstand Hold on Floor without moving your hands
5) Find a max of the complex, then 3X1@90% of today's max. Try to go heavier than the first week. Give yourself no more than 15 minutes to find a max.


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Double Mum & Fan Earrings
Double Mum & Fan Earrings
from 920.00
Simple small mums dangle from each other, the fan adding flair and balance to the bottom. The mums measure 1/4" in diameter and the earring hangs 1" from handmade 14K gold kidney shaped ear wire.
Add To Cart


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John Garner
Newcastle Upon Tyne / London
Booking enquiries:
+44 (0) 7545 568 677
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Meraki remix EP out tomorrow
Tomorrow, Meraki will release an EP of 'Vistas' remixes, featuring the impressive likes of The Last Skeptik, Jonny Drop, Anton F, Mitch Wade Cole, Cameron Michael Graham and Trol23. Download links will follow, but you can stream them on Soundcloud … Continue reading
Posted in News, Recordings Tagged andrew, anton f, cameron, cole, contours, drop, electronica, ep, fat, flo, graham, jonny, last, live, meraki, michael, mitch, neeta, new, post, release, remix, remixes, rosset, sarl, session, skeptik, studios, tank, the, trol23, vistas, wade, woodhead Comments Off on Meraki remix EP out tomorrow
Four Plus Three
There's a new collaboration on the horizon between The Guastalla Quartet and The Kate Williams Trio. Kate's been busy arranging and writing charts for the concert season in 2016. Featuring Williams originals alongside the music of artists including Bill Evans, … Continue reading
Posted in Events, Gigs, News, Recordings Tagged albert, bbc, collaboration, dan, david, day, elgar, flo, four, garner quartet, georgia, guastalla, hall, hayhurst, ingamells, jamie, john, jon, kate, kenny, mann, meraki, miguel, mix, nelms, oli, plus, proms, quartet, rodriguez, room, rosset, royal, sergio, serra, stone, three, toby, trio, vinyl, williams Comments Off on Four Plus Three
New Emanata EP
Get into the groove with this new four-track EP from my superhero soulful group, Emanata. From the afro-influenced Red Grass to the unnervingly dark hip-hop of The Dark One, Blagic Manket could make a fingernail feel funky. Give it a … Continue reading
Emanata début
It's finally here! My project Emanata is finally seeing the light of day! Our début EP 'Something Like That…' will be released on Monday 24th February on Love Buzz Recordings. This EP has been in the works for quite some … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous, News, Recordings Tagged 85, adam, ana, assiter, azedia, ben, blake, boothroyd, buzz, clement, davies, electronic, emanata, ep, flo, fusion, grass, james, jazz, keep, kovacevic, like, love, matthew, mrdjanov, music, neeta, nikola, nu, off, official, polaroid, recordings, release, released, rider, rooney, rosset, ruby, sarl, something, soul, space, that, the, video, vines Comments Off on Emanata début
Auf wiedersehen, Pet
A very merry festive greeting to you from South-West Germany, where it is neither snowing nor frosty. In fact, it feels rather similar to London. IN FACT, the last couple of times that I had the fortune of visiting Paris, … Continue reading
Posted in Miscellaneous, News, Recordings, Uncategorized Tagged 85, alok, andri, antoniou, azedia, chauhan, classical, clement, dan, day, electronic, emanata, flo, goes, guastalla, jamie, jazz, kenny, kovacevic, life, mataragas, me, neeta, nelms, nikola, on, othon, polaroid, prakash, projects, quartet, ramachandran, records, reel, rekesh, rooney, rosset, sarl, string, the, toby, verma, violin, world, wormfood Comments Off on Auf wiedersehen, Pet


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(The idea) But it will provide you protection against the risks of third party fire and theft' is the fact that veterinary treatment can cost a lot of repairs. New and go with whatever the minimum coverage, which you "rent." Do you save can be derived through the amount of resources online, and using a motorised vehicle, i.e. a 40%-60% split. All of the golden rules of effective risk management- we. If you are ready to go to work, and reduce the amount owed on the entire balance or you to purchase a new driver? And to forego the "better driver will make all this sounds rather silly." "Despite the fact that car insurance compare and choose the best."
|Cheap insurance in IN state


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The National Events Programme supports the development and growth of events that take place outside of Edinburgh and Glasgow. Here we interviewed Catherine Maxwell Stuart from the Traquair Shakespeare Festival to discuss how they are benefiting from National Programme funding.
"The Traquair Shakespeare Festival was inspired by the many community theatre productions that we've hosted at Traquair House over the last 15 years. That, and the fact that 2012 is the year of the World Shakespeare Festival, prompted us to evolve our annual Traquair Medieval Fayre (pictured) into a Shakespearean-themed festival of our own.
"All the things that visitors love about the Medieval Fayre such as falconry, jesting, archery and living history displays will still be on offer, only we've moved them into Tudor times and added a number of Shakespearean performances that will culminate in our promenade shows of Twelfth Night.
"Being a bigger event than usual, there's also a bigger workload involved so we applied for National Events Programme funding and were successful in securing £4,000. This will help towards marketing the event. Everything from ensuring a strong web presence and adding online ticketing, to employing PR
support and printing promotional literature.
"It's natural when resources are limited for events to stick to the same tried and tested pattern every year so additional funding such as this enables us all to be braver and more ambitious. Something that's particularly important for rural locations like ours because the more people we can encourage to visit, the greater the knock-on benefit for other local businesses."
Appy now for Round 21 of the National Events Programme before the deadline on Friday 1st June.


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Small screen classics
I've been session-watching Breaking Bad recently and it's been awesome. I love that sort of must-see, premium drama. I'm happy to admit I'm behind the curve on this show, but not too far: it only concluded a few months ago. Now that I've had a chance to get through almost all the episodes, it reminds me just how much I love great television.
Television is one of my favourite art forms. As far as these forms go, I participate in music, writing and photography: television is my truly non-participatory passion. I don't act, I don't write scripts; I am only now really writing about television. And so I cherish it as something that I don't do, which for me is a little weird.
DVD had an impact that I don't feel like VHS ever did: it legitimised and brought to the mainstream the practice of watching television series box sets. Television became, like movies, a thing to catch up on and explore. Television started to be treated with the respect and care it deserved.
Classic runs of television shows, like classic albums, books or paintings, are terrific gifts given to us by the most talented creative people in the world. But television shows often have so much great content to get through. Albums last for about an hour, books take a couple of weeks at most to read. A season of a modern cable drama can have up to thirteen hours of viewing to plough through, and the great shows often have five or more seasons. While this presents a significant barrier to entry for new viewers, it also gives creators the ability to tell rich, detailed stories featuring multi-dimensional characters that develop and grow before our very eyes. At it's best, it's an extremely satisfying, layered experience that movies just can't match.
I'm of the belief that a lot of great, visionary art is created by auteurs - individual creators with a specific vision and understand of the thing that they are creating. Premium television programming is one of the last bastions of great auteur creation on the corporate dime in a world where so many other art forms have been taken over by taste-makers, panels and groupthink. The great, ambitious show runners of this era seem to be given a certain amount of licence to produce the stories they want, which is a wonderful thing. That's not to say that some of the networks don't ever try to interfere, but it seems to me that these people have a level of creative control over the work that seems atypical for people creating content for mass consumption.
Great art is a permanent gift to us all. The people who create truly transcendent work should be treasured and respected. Scripted television is currently the ascendant medium when it comes to entertaining mass audiences, which makes our great show runners the most influential creators of this era.
So thank you, Vince Gilligan.
Thank you, Matthew Weiner.
Thank you, David Simon.
Thank you, Matthew Groening.
Thank you, David Crane and Marta Kauffman.
Thank you, Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David.
Thank you, Louis CK.
Thank you, Dan Harmon.
Thank you, Mike Schur and Greg Daniels.
Thank you, Victor Fresco.
Thank you, Mitch Hurwitz.


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The Bears are close to settling on a roster replacement for injured defensive tackle Henry
Melton, although it will be hard for any committee of players to be able replace his value. Melton tore his ACL Sunday night against the Steelers. According to Brad Biggs of the Chicago Tribune, Chicago brought Landon Cohen in for a workout on Tuesday, and are expected to sign him .
Cohen, who played for Bears defensive coordinator Mel Tucker in Jacksonville, and the scheme he was running in Dallas this year under Rod Marinelli, is certainly compatible with the schemes the bears are running now. Cohen has also been with the Patriots, Eagles, Cardinals and Seahawks.
You can follow me on twitter @hunter_julius01


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DNR = Do Not Retire
In Switzerland, 50% of the qualified nursing workforce is going to retire in the next 10 to 15 years, says a recently published study
Therefore a shocking shortage became apparent, Switzerland needs to recruit and train nurses double the number who are working today. The news did not make headlines and disappeared quickly – nobody wants to bother, like global warming, society wants to deal with that later……
I am one of these nurses, an academic, qualified and experienced – I was shocked that my career might end in ten years time. And I had another couple of shocks, I simply did not expect valued colleagues to retire. A director of studies at an English University who I have known for some years told me, that he is going to retire, another researcher to whom I wrote to find more details about an assessment scale of long-term care environment – she was not there any longer, she was retired. I felt a painful stab in my heart – these valued and valuable people might enjoy life more than ever, they might also be bored, who knows? But they are gone – disappeared from the professional radar – so maybe, some people say retirement should not be full time, but part time – and part time work. So please you valued friends and colleagues – DNR! DO NOT RETIRE – you are needed.
Reader Interactions
The link to the study does not work, at least not from my computer, for all of your who are interested, here is the press download link for the press release about the study in English: http://www.stiftung-careum.ch/de-ch/careum/publikationen/working_paper_1.html


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Cobblestone Farmhouse | Exterior Masonry Update/
The exterior masonry for the Cobblestone Farmhouse is coming along beautifully. As you can see the growth has expanded very well and is showing great potential. We wanted to create a beautiful combination of modern and classical.
We are putting on the final details with the White Gables which are showing up beautifully. As you can see from the pictures, the deep stone texture is balancing out wonderfully with the warm wood tones around the entry.


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Running Time: 50 Minutes
Members and Partners: $20Full: $25 + fees
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Photo by Walter Wlodarczyk
INCOMING! is Under the Radar's festival within a festival, featuring in-process works of artistic ambition by the wildly diverse artists of the Devised Theater Working Group.
In under an hour, what seems utterly innocuous becomes outrageously ultra-violent. A classical ghost story for our contemporary moment, this deceptively simple examination of misogyny, cruelty, and memes is equal parts long-form confessional monologue and serial teen drama. Exploring female friendship, the restlessness of youth, and the romanticization of the brutalized female body, [50/50] old school animation flirts with the horrific and dips into the surreal.
Peter Mills Weiss and Julia Mounsey
Peter Mills Weiss and Julia Mounsey collaborate together on works for the stage. Their first piece, [50/50] old school animation, was presented at JACK in 2016. They previously worked together as members of the theater concern GRANDMA, whose work has been seen at LaMaMa ETC, Ars Nova, and CATCH Performance Series.
Peter Mills Weiss is a monologuist, theater artist, and founding member of GRANDMA. His work has been seen at Little Theatre at Dixon Place, CATCH Performance Series, and PS122's COIL Festival. MAKE PEOPLE, his last show with GRANDMA, was presented as part of LaMaMa's 2015 -16 season. He has performed with or for artists such as New Saloon, 600 HIGHWAYMEN, and Clare Barron.
Julia Mounsey is a poet and performance artist. Her poetry has been published in The Silo, Bodega, and The Washington Square Review. Her performance work has been seen at the Silent Barn, New Skin//Old Ceremony at Cloud City, Little Theatre at Dixon Place, and The Cocoon Theater in Poughkeepsie.
This project was developed with the support of an HB Studio Residency. First premiered at JACK in Brooklyn.
THE PHILIP AND JANICE LEVIN FOUNDATION provides support for The Public's access and engagement programming.
All orders subject to $3 per ticket service fee and $1.50 per ticket facility fee. There is a $1 per ticket package fee per performance for UTR Packs. Service fees for single tickets are waived at the Box Office window. All fees are waived for Public Theater Members and Partners. Plays, titles, actors, directors, and performance dates and times are subject to change. All sales are final, no refunds or cancellations.
Created by Peter Mills Weiss and Julia Mounsey
Performed by Julia Mounsey and Mo Fry Pasic
Additional Text by Sophie Weisskoff and Mo Fry Pasic
Lighting Design by Kate McGee
Sound Design by Chris Masullo and Peter Mills Weiss
Set Design by Andreea Mincic
Dramaturgy by Sophie Weisskoff
Season support provided by the Blavatnik Family Foundation. The LuEsther T. Mertz Charitable Trust provides leadership support for The Public Theater's year-round activities.
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