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Top Suggestions Expedition Radio Wiring Harnes :
Expedition Radio Wiring Harnes Here s one classic g wagen that has been restored by expedition motor company even here the company ripped apart everything including the wiring harness a whole new custom interior was It s not a new problem think back to the days when you d uniformly go to circuit city or its competitors to get an aftermarket stereo put in the car lights from a half dozen ecus on the same For armada features standard nissan connect services with siriusxm eight inch multi touch display bose 13 speaker setup hd radio siriusxm travel link a seven pin wiring harness is ready.
Expedition Radio Wiring Harnes Also for the armada comes with nissanconnect services powered by siriusxm including an eight inch multi touch display hd radio siriusxm travel link and trailer wiring harness there are Washington december 20 ken thomas writing for the ap reported that ford motor co said tuesday that replacement parts used in its recall of 3 8 million dealers were told to install a fused The expedition is a classic full size suv that comes with a class iv hitch a wiring harness an electronic brake wiring kit a heavy duty transmission cooler and a heavy duty radiator the.
Expedition Radio Wiring Harnes American expedition vehicles aev it accepts the factory fog lights so there is no messing with wiring harnesses and it has crush cans on the front of the bumper to prevent low speed air bag Ford said the recall of model year vehicles includes the company s hot selling f 150 pickup truck ford expedition lincoln navigator dealers will install a fused wiring harness to act Amenities include air conditioning am fm stereo with cd player chrysler says the location was dictated by proximity to the wiring harness and lots of folks welcomed the addition of armrests on.
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For a full-body workout that will also help lift and tone your glutes, a mere 55-minute TRX class a few times a week will do the job.
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text: Children in juvenile stories seem to have a penchant for becoming mislaid. Sometimes it's strictly for adventure, and others for some type of character-building development to occur. This book belongs to the second category. Paul, the missing person, tritely sums it up; he found himself while he was finding his way. Paul does have this tendency toward cliche when he describes camp life and his first recognition of his own personality with its strong points as well as its weaknesses. Much sharper are his observations about things that are wrong -- the counselor with the profound belief in team sports, the dull teacher and the too chummy teacher, and the way students get around them, and especially his retrospective view of the ghastly, embarrassing accidents he bumbled into in his adolescent way. While the book does not make its points as strongly as intended, the first-person narrative shows some keen insights into the feelings of teenagers.


text: VGC: "Monster Hunter Portable 3 launched in Japan this week. The title sold about 1.7m standalone copies from its week one shipment of 2 million units. Since the game was also bundled with PSP hardware, the final total is closer to 1.8m units. While 1.8m units sold is a staggering figure for Japan, preorders had reached 1.76m the day before launch, and so with a larger week one shipment Capcom likely could have sold 2.25m units (+/- 5%) of its major title this week. Overall though, all the undershipment really means is that the drop off next week will be lower than normal for a launch of this magnitude. MHP3 at 1.8m is the 10th largest software launch in Japan of all time."


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Photoshop users yearning for a full version of the software to use on an iPad tablet will have their wish fulfilled next year.
SEE: Edit Your Images Like a Pro With These Photo-Editing Apps
At its Adobe Max Creativity Conference, Adobe said that it will release a version of Photoshop for the iPad with the same "power and precision" as the desktop version. Photoshop CC for the iPad will let users open and modify PSD files using the familiar lineup of editing tools. The new app will also include the handy Layers panel through which people can add and work with text, graphics, and other elements to build a complete image.
Adobe already offers a free version of its popular image editing software for the iPhone, iPad, and Android devices. But Adobe Photoshop Express lacks many of the robust features and functionality of its desktop counterpart, including layers. Photoshop CC for the iPad promises to combine the power of the full version with the freedom and flexibility of working on the go. The challenges lies in the translation from desktop to mobile and how Adobe will preserve and present the tools that's made Photoshop the king of image editors.
In its news release, Adobe said that Photoshop for the iPad has been redesigned for a touch experience, implying that users will be able to use gestures to manipulate their images. Further, Photoshop users will be able to start their work on an iPad and then continue with their edits on Photoshop for the desktop by using Creative Cloud. The company also said that Photoshop CC will come first to the iPad in 2019, which sounds like the app could then find its way to other tablets.
Beyond teasing Photoshop CC, the company revealed a drawing app destined first for the iPad. Known as Project Gemini, this new app will combine raster, vector, and new dynamic brushes for drawing. Project Gemini will work with Photoshop CC and let Photoshop users access their favorite brushes. Further, Adobe unveiled a new AR tool called Project Aero geared toward designers and artists who want to create augmented reality experiences.
Adobe also unveiled major updates to some of the core programs in its Creative Cloud suite.
Photoshop CC gets a new Content-Aware Fill workspace that gives users greater control when working with images. Illustrator CC gets freeform gradients through which you can create natural gradients. InDesign CC now has a powerful Content-Aware Fit than can detect an image and crop it to automatically fit a frame. Character Animator CC has adopted a feature called Characterizer, which transforms a portrait into an animated character. Other applications in the suite have also earned new and enhanced features. These updates are now available to all Creative Cloud subscribers.
FOLLOW Download.com on Twitter for all the latest app news.
- Adobe will release a full version of Photoshop for the iPad in 2019.
- Photoshop users will be able to sync changes to their images between their desktops and iPads.
Also see
- A full-featured Adobe Photoshop is coming to Apple's iPad Pro tablets, sources say
- Adobe Lightroom 3.6 brings mobile app closer to desktop version
- Adobe brings Lightroom for Android up to par
- $5 a year for Photoshop? Yes, as Adobe slashes education pricing (CNET)
- Life hack: Using Photoshop for super-fast renovation mockups (ZDNet)
- XD: Adobe's next Photoshop? (TechRepublic)


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Showing India Health & Beauty Businesses currently available for sale. Find India business opportunities to buy and sell from established high cash flow businesses to small home based businesses for sale. Use the filters on the left to narrow your search for businesses in India by category, price and other criteria. To sell your business online visit Selling a Business in India.
Fresh, Healthy & Made to Order. "What's in your creap?"
Crepe Delicious is a global leader specializing in the creation of world-class sweet and savory crepes and hand-crafted gelato. We are a leader in the trend toward healthier eating. The first Crepe Delicious opened in Vaughan Mills, north of Toronto, Canada in 2004. Now with locations spanning 8 countries around the world, we are proud to have become one of the largest creperie and gelateria world-wide.
Gachibowli, Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
Premium Unisex Salon located in a plush business & residential hub in Gachibowli, Hyderabad. It is a destination for Hair & Beauty for upscale residents of the area. Profitably running, Excellent bran
New Delhi, Delhi, India
This business is very safe and recession proof. This business was started long back and is one of the very leading pharmaceutical distribution house based in Delhi. We are having agencies of about 50
69/2 arjun nagar, New Delhi, Delhi, India
Running chemist shop for sale..it has been 1 year of opening.Owner unable to concentrate on this business.
Please contact us for more details.
1442, Nilachakra Nagar, Jayadev Vihar, Po -RRL, Bhubaneswar Odisha - 751013, Bhubaneshwar, Orissa, India
Lingaraj rudraksha shop in Bhubaneswar is a online store of powerful rudraksha beads from nepal in Bhubaneswar (Odisha) providing affordable cost original rudraksha at your doorstep.Rudraksha helps in
Darya Ganj, New Delhi, Delhi, India
Corner shop over 400 sq ft excellent location.
Huge potential to expand and or grow sales by up to 5 times.
High sale of generic medicine.
Frequent buyers from abroad buying bulk high margin medici
BSK 3rd stage, Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Established in 2010, the beauty salon is located in a posh location in bangalore and is very well-known in the locality has an earning capacity of more than Rs.30 Lakhs. This homely salon is very well
Resapuvanpalem, Vishakhapatnam, Andhra Pradesh, India
New beauty saloon with all new equipment's and cosmetics for sale.
Please contact us for more details.
IT Highway, OMR, Kandanchavadi, Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India
Most people look for a slimming center assuming that they don't have to do anything but lie down on an expensive machine which will do some rubbing and you can come out looking like a model.
You s
DWARKA SECTOR 10 NEW DELHI, New Delhi, Delhi, India
The Unisex beauty salon is been running successfully since 9 months. It's a unisex beauty salon located at Dwarka Delhi. The Salon is spread at the area of approx 250 sq. ft situated in commercial m
Mysore, Karnataka, India
Ready to move in Running Unisex SPA & Salon Chain is for sale. Services like Massage, Facials,Hair Cutting, Colouring, Waxing, Mani/Pedi, SPA Treatments etc. We are very prominent in Google, tripadvis
47, Hosur Rd, Nanjappa Layout, Adugodi, Bengaluru, Karnataka 560030, Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Running business with clientele, Sea Glass Spa and Beauty Parlour in main location. Highly decorated five stars like interior design. Fully equipped. Glass entrance with fully functioning shutter. Man
Chennai, Tamil Nadu, India
Well established Ladies Only Beauty salon available for Fifty percent partnership sale. Salon has been in operation for the last 12 months and has regular customers. With personal supervision, salon h
Gurgaon, Haryana, India
Running Unisex Salon Available For Sale or open partnership in Gurgaon.
- Fully Furnished Salon With Complete Interior And Machinery
- Main Road Facing Location
- High Class Interior Work
- 4
Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
Running business is for sale.
- Fully equipped
- Staff
- All facilities CCTV cameras
- Separate ladies and gents toilet facilities
- Separate women room
- Two attached consultation rooms
- We
A Running Unisex Salon with Spa on a busy street at a popular locality in Mumbai for Sale. It has been functioning at the same locality for more than one and half years with 8 staff. To its credit, it
This is a running salon situated on a busy street at a popular locality in Mumbai for Sale.
- Two storey (mezzanine) designed
- 3 hair dresser chairs
- 1 shampoo station
- 1 nail bar station
Indore, Madhya Pradesh, India
Beauty and leisure at famous tourist city.
- SPA and Massage Therapies.
- Mix of Glamour and health.
- Well marketed and established business.
Kindly contact us for more details.
Ready to move in Running Unisex salon from the last 22 months have an existing database of more than 3500 clients. Services like Hair Cutting colouring facial etc with very reasonable rate. Price is s
Navi Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
4 Month Old Family Salon & Spa for sale.
- Two hair cut chair
- Hair wash
- Pedicure
- Facial bed and all the accessories and products of Loreal
For inquiries, contact us for more details.
Bandra West, Mumbai, Maharashtra, India
This is a running salon situated in the heart of Bandra. The salon is in prominent location and is a corner shop on waterfield road. The salon has been decorated to high standards, to offer it has 3 h
A well established and running branded salon & spa is for sale.
Established in 2014 with 8 employees.
Size of 2000 square feet.
Excellent location.
Please contact to discuss further.
Bangalore, Karnataka, India
Running pharmacy attached to a leading diagnostic center in the area of Bangalore, India.
I am the sole owner looking for interested parties who would like to purchase a running business. I bought
Orange Hair n Make up studio been from 3years at Thakur village kandivalli east running business of 3hair stations 1backwash 1pedicure section facial cabin and counter
Located in the prime market
Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India
we are involved in E-commerce online shopping site selling PAN india Basis.
anyone who interested in make own E-commerce store like Flipkart, Myntra, Jabong with online Free Technical support.
We want to sale running body spa in Delhi On urgent basis.
Successful PETA-certified, natural, vegetarian cosmetics business set up in Mumbai, India for sale.
Established since 2014, running successfully in fast growing economy.
Listed on over 25 e-commerc
Bengaluru, Karnataka, India
It's a Business for sale (in a rented space) :
This ladies salon is located in a prime location of Koramangala 5th block, Near Hosur road, Opposite of forum mall.
It's a 4 year old ladies salon w
Running business with clientele, luxury nails spa in prime location. Designer interiors with high quality furniture. Fully equipped. Completely redone high end bathroom with designer tiles and fitting
An excellent opportunity to acquire a brand new running salon situated in the heart of Mumbai. The salon is in prominent location and is a corner shop. This salon has been decorated to high standards.
Recently established and running branded beauty salon (for Ladies only) available for 50 % stake. Though just four months old, already established a growing customer base. Excellent location. Clean an
Jaipur, Rajasthan, India
Well Running Online Business for sale.
Have own 3 brands.
Established in October 2014.
Selling home furniture, garment, skin care, home improvement products, etc.
Last year turn over is 65 lacs.
Vikas Puri, New Delhi, Delhi, India
Unisex Salon for sale
It is a running salon.
Selling in urgent basis.
Selling due to some personal problem and will be shifting to Chandigarh.
Please contact for more information.
Beauty Saloon for sale
Monthly income 40k to 50k.
It also has got tailoring not designer blouses.
Sale value is 250000 including furniture and advance.
Monthly rent: 7000
Ludhiana, Punjab, India
Hair Centre is a cosmetic surgery clinic that provides the best hair transplant surgery in India. Our main motive is to deliver the excellent and stable results to our patients. We have the team of we
A premium unisex salon & spa in a premium locality spread across 3000 square feet with 15 staff and making average revenue of INR 6 Mn per annum is available for immediate sale at the cost price. Plea
Running Spa & Salon Available For Franchise Or For Sale
Located in Gurgaon, next to a McDonalds drive-thru.
Fully functional salon and has been running for a year.
Facility of spa is available - 2
Andhra Pradesh, India
Ayurvedic Products And Food Products With Patent And Ready To Run Business for sale
Instant mixes with formulation.
We have developed a research oriented products like Ayurveda capsules like hair gr
Branded Women Fashion Accessories Business available for sale.
Well established since 2010.
Rented property size is 600 square feet.
Contact for more details.
Ours is a two years old branded unisex salon with a capacity of 15 staffs with a monthly revenue of 7 lakh. World class interiors has been done and maintained.
Running Unisex Salon in New Delhi for sale.
Established for 4 years with 6 employees.
900 square feet store size.
Good clientele in main market.
Modern setup and fully equipped.
Ayurveda Wellness Spa is an authentic traditional Ayurvedic treatment center, stands for health and healing unto the fullness of life.
We offer genuine " Kerala Specific Ayurvedic Therapies " for t
Urgent sale:
Unisex salon operating for nine months.
Size is around 400 square feet.
Owner is moving abroad.
contact the seller for more details.
Erode, Tamil Nadu, India
Beauty salon with world class interiors and best of equipments, chairs, etc. Situated at the heart of Tamilnadu.
Selling this business because I want to relocate. I will support business technically, externally, with commitment for 1 year.
Business is in good location with monthly profit of 4 to 5 lakh.
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Registered Address: Dynamis Limited. Dynamis House, 6-8 Sycamore Street, London, EC1Y 0SW. United Kingdom. VAT No. 747791385 Company Registration Number: 3788210


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Sometimes it's good to go for a run in the woods. Clear the mind, wind in your hair and the latest sneakers on your feet, life is good. and breathe. Nothing feels as good as a fresh tracksuit to put that spring in your step. Sorry, gotta run!
Credits - #Gifted Tracksuit - Nicce, Trainers - Diadora, Watch - Kronaby,
When New Look announced, at the beginning of this month, its menswear was going online only, it solidified what we already knew; high-street fashion is struggling, badly. It was only a few years ago, when the 'dapper' three-piece skinny suit was at its zenith and pocket squares were furnishing top pockets, that the good times were rolling and Britain's high-street menswear retailers were expanding.
Left - Momager Kris Jenner loving an adidas tracksuit but with a Gucci bag or Fendi keyring
Back in 2016, New Look was busy rolling out menswear stores in university towns, appealing to those on a budget wanting fast fashion. New Look was fairly late to the menswear party, following in the footsteps of brands like Topman, River Island and Moss Bros, but it had lofty ambitions. They opened 22 menswear stores in places such as Shrewsbury, Exeter, Maidstone, Derby and Nottingham. They are all now closed, wth New Look saying in a recent statement, "New Look is removing menswear from its UK and Ireland stores but will continue to sell the range online and on third party platforms," such as ASOS and Zalando.
So, what happened? Sportswear happened. Branded sportswear has been the main fashion story for the past few years. From trainers to tracksuits, sportswear is everywhere and on everybody.
Recent results from sportswear behemoth, JD Sports, illustrates its growth and dominance. JD Sports, which is now more than three times bigger than arch rival Sports Direct, almost-doubled revenue in its latest results for the 52 weeks to February 2, 2019. Revenue was up an incredible 49.2 percent to £4.7 billion for the period compared to the year before, with profit before tax increasing by 15.4 percent to £339.9 million pounds.
JD Sports' results includes its acquisition of the Finish Line business in America. The brand was bought for around £400 million in June 2018, and saw JD Sports take ownership of Finish Line's 600 stores in the US.
JD Sports executive chairman, Peter Cowgill, said in a statement: "We believe that our acquisition of the Finish Line business in the United States, the largest market for sport lifestyle footwear and apparel and the home to many of the global sportswear brands, will have positive consequences for our long-term brand engagement whilst significantly extending the group's global reach. We maintain our belief that Finish Line is capable of delivering improved levels of profitability." JD Sports said it stayed clear of reactive discounting while offering a point of difference in the goods it sold.
This American dominance, particularly of the internet and social media channels, has helped grow this market. When American football is coming to Wembley and there's even talk of baseball making inroads into this country, then you know the power of the American online world we now live in. When you see Kris Jenner wearing a full adidas tracksuit on multiple episodes of the Kardashians, instead of the luxury labels she used to be wearing, it really illustrates how far this trend has come and it's global.
JD Sports is now in 10 countries in mainland Europe with its first store in Austria at Mariahilfer Strasse in Vienna opening in the next few months. The JD fascia saw a net increase of 39 stores in the period with new stores in all of the retailer's existing territories as well as its first two stores in Finland. In Asia, JD Sports has opened its first stores in Singapore, Thailand and South Korea with its local partner Shoemarker Inc, and now has 16 JD stores, including 14 conversions of the multibrand Hot-T fascia which was acquired in the previous year.
New Look recently closed all of their stores in China, Belgium and Poland, 85 stores in the UK and, potentially, those in France and Portugal too. It has returned to profit after its underlying operating profit came in at £38.5 million to Dec 2018, compared to an underlying operating loss of £5.1 million for the same year-to-date period the year prior, but like-for-like sales are still falling, they've just slowed.
These woes aren't just restricted to New Look. The fall in the value of these high-street companies is illustrated by Arcadia recently buying a 25 per cent stake in retailers Topshop and Topman back from US investor Leonard Green for $1 or 76p. It was rumoured the US private equity firm bought the 25 per cent stake from Sir Philip Green's Arcadia in 2012 for £350 million. That's some devaluation.
Another British high-street brand suffering from the dominance of sportswear is Moss Bros. The menswear retailer recorded a £4.2 million loss for the 52-week period ending January 26, 2019, compared to a profit of £6.7 million the year prior. Revenues were down 2.1 per cent to £129 million and like-for-like sales dropped 4.3 per cent. Interestingly, full-year figures showed that like-for-like hire sales plummeted by 9.3 per cent. People aren't even renting formalwear now?! Moss Bros chief executive, Brian Brick, said it was an "extremely challenging" year. "We suffered from a combination of a significant stock shortage and extremes of weather, alongside sporting distraction in the first half, which impacted footfall into our stores," he said. That "sporting distraction" was the World Cup with people no doubt wearing yet more sportswear.
"Looking forward, in common with many UK retailers, we continue to anticipate an extremely challenging retail landscape, particularly within our physical stores, as a result of reduced footfall and rising costs." he said.
This sportswear as a fashion trend is slowing, but sportswear is beyond a trend, now, and it's a lifestyle and ease of dressing that is resonating around the world and to every age group. These once dominant British high-street stars are contracting and they are cutting off limbs (menswear) to save the vital organs. Karl Lagerfeld once said, "Sweatpants are a sign of defeat. You lost control of your life so you bought some sweatpants." He couldn't be more wrong.
The two main Berlin men's trade shows, relevant to the UK market, SEEK and Premium, had a switch up for the AW19 season. SEEK, the younger, more streetwear and sportswear focused show pushed its separate area for skate fashion, Bright, into the main show space. What this did was make the show feel more outerwear heavy and technical and showed a definite turning away from branded sportswear for AW19.
Premium on the other hand made the correct decision to reorder their show spaces: mixing the brands and giving the feeling of discovery rather than uniform looking halls. Premium is, just that, more premium, targeting an older demographic with the deeper pockets to buy more expensive clothes and finishes.
Left - Inside the main hall at Premium, Berlin
Here are the big AW19 trends coming out from Berlin and the labels worth making a note of:
Post Sportswear Preppy
The sportswear juggernaut was bound to slow at some point and we're seeing the beginnings of it for AW19. The overall feeling was of less branding and colour and the idea that sportswear to segue-waying itself into new areas. Retro sportswear is going out the door and morphing into either more technical or preppy product. A perfect example of this is Champion doing branded rugby shirts. It's still sportswear, but it's moving back into the preppy area of menswear. This will be how preppy returns to fashion.
Left - Lacoste 80s college jacket
Right - Champion showing the segue way from sports into preppy with rugby shirts
The Recycled Renaissance of Denim
Always eco-conscious and sustainably minded, the German shows have always been home to brands trying to change the system and limit fashion's impact. Denim, one of the world's most destructive fabrics in terms of pesticides, water and dyeing, needs a way back into fashion.
Two Dutch brands, Butcher of Blue and Mud Jeans are pioneering reusing and recycling denim. Butcher of Blue reworks vintage and Mud Jeans asks for its old jeans to be returned to be completely taken back to the raw fibre and remade. They also offer a leasing service - €7.50 a month, €29 sign up - for those who don't want to own. Around 40% of the new jeans are from old jean fibres.
HNST, a new German jeans brand, claims to include 56% of reused denim fibres in its new jeans with the rest being Tencel. People donate their old jeans and electrolytes are used to fix the indigo to the fabric and make the dye soluble. Expect more of this from the bigger denim brands.
Left - HNST denim recycling old jeans into new
Corduroy has been making inroads back into menswear over the last few winters. Biscuit and forest green are the main colours, here, as it spreads from coats and trousers into accessories and footwear. Related to the remerging preppy trend, corduroy offers a fresh collegiate take in warm team colours.
Clockwise from left - Superga, Kangol, Far Afield, Averse
For those men wanting colour and pattern, tartan is the fabric of the AW19 season. First seen on the catwalks of London, tartan is a masculine way of putting interest safely into a any man's wardrobe. Portuguese brand, Averse, had classic Black Watch, and Schneiders offered something more appropriate for those Rupert The Bear wannabes.
From Left - Schneiders, Averse
Long-Line Arctic Parkas
This is a trend that needs another winter to build, but get in early. Expect many more of these for AW20. In a saturated coat market and the oversized trend blowing up - pardon the pun - the arctic parka is getting longer and more cocoon like.
The American, but Italian run and owned, Refridgwear, has done a collection with a German designer, (they wouldn't name just yet), where the bottom foot of the jacket can be simply added and taken away. All for around €500. There were a few more brands, such as Woolrich, doing similar long-line styles at Pitti Uomo.
Left - Refridgwear collab with a yet unnamed German designer, the bottom section is detachable
Tom Àdam
A father a son team, Tom & Adam, from Riga in Latvia, feature wearing their own product on the website and in imagery. Made in Latvia, designed in Paris, this new underwear and swimwear brand is trying to get us off our cheap addiction and slipping into something with more quality.
Trunks - €35, Swimshorts - €150
A Design Collective
A new British casual shoe brand offering value in the luxury, minimal cup-sole market. Made from Italian leather in Portugal, the people behind A Design Collective currently do private label and are now launching with the Common Projects customer in mind with this £130 sports shoe. Launches July.
Brava Fabrics
Barcelona based, Brava Fabrics, manages to tread that fine line between fun and immature. Their Spanish made fabrics feature yellow submarines, llamas - the new unicorn? - and the ever nostalgic cassette tapes. The fun side of hipster.
Coma Toes
This type of padded outdoor slipper could be the new slider. New British brand, Coma Toes, certainly hopes that's true with their collection of padded sports slip-ons. I've seen something similar from The North Face before, but there's always room for a new, well-priced and casual footwear trend. Watch this space...
Wax London
Offering great value and made in London outerwear, Wax London is a husband and wife design team. They aim to bring the manufacturing of traditional British outerwear back to the UK. These are complimented with staple essentials of jerseys, knits and shirts crafted in Portugal and Italy.
Salzburg based, Schneiders, is a quality outerwear producer with traditional alpine shaped and loden type fabrics. In the upper price points, the product is made in Romania, but from premium fabric and fur finishes. For the modern Cecil Beatons.
Thei-Sprint began in 1935 with Heinz Theisen, a man who dedicated his life to professional cycling. Born in the textile district of Moenchengladbach, after World War II he began making his own equipment, jerseys and gear.
In 1965 he returned to his roots and began designing cycling equipment again. With his own knitting machines, he made jerseys and beanies for local teams together with his wife in their basement. The "Thei-Sprint" brand was born.
By 1985 Theisen had joined the renowned Telekom and Coast cycling teams as a mechanic. His final triumph came in the 1988 Seoul Olympics where Theisen won gold as a chief mechanic with the West German track cycling team. He is famous for his red beanie which they continue to make proudly in Germany.
Have you met Gym?! No, me neither! As we slide into summer look gym ready in classic sportswear items. Whether lounging around or actually doing something, heaven forbid, team with coloured lenses and a fun baseball cap for a cool geeky look.
Credits - Hat, T-Shirt, Jacket, Shorts - All Gymphlex, Chicken Legs - Model's Own, Shoes - Base London
Our love of the 80s continues. From the music to the films to the fashion, it's the decade that keeps on giving.
The big trend, fashion wise, is 80s sportswear and this is the look you should be following.
Go for larger fits, especially in coats and jackets - I'm wearing a large here - with strong, contrasting primary colours.
This jacket by Tommy Hilfiger is from House of Fraser and perfectly illustrates the new look while heavily referencing its vintage archive.
Team with dad jeans, branded socks and retro trainers. Don't forget the gold chain or necklace for that final, confident flourish. Read more why here
Are you ready, Player One?!
Credits - Jacket - Tommy Hilfiger from House of Fraser, Jeans - Topman, T-Shirt - Umbro, Necklace - Topshop, Socks - Fila, Trainers - Diadora, Cap - J Crew
With the Russian World Cup coming, or should that be looming?! We're going to get all nostalgic for Panini stickers and short-short football kits. Retro sportswear shows no sign of slowing down in fashion circles and anything branded, or with brand's old logos, is as popular as ever.
For this World Cup, dress like it's Argentina 78. Think Sta-Press denim, simple loafers and you're favourite, skin-tight football top. Come on, England!
Credits - Loafers - Base London, Jeans - Raey, Top - Vintage
There's always a moment in popular culture when you can pinpoint something peaking. It's usually in hindsight and when something goes from being cool and new to something ridiculed and stereotypical. Remember the hipster beard? This could be the moment for sportswear.
Left - The Meet Me At McDonald's Haircut
A Great Yarmouth school has banned a haircut called 'Meet Me at McDonald's'. The offending style features short sides with a floppy, curly mop of hair on top pushed forwards.
According to The Sun, it was inspired by a 13 years old grime artist called 'Little T' from Blackpool. It looks like a relative of the 80s Scouse perm and, obviously, complements the current fashion of retro looking sportswear. Add a scowl and a few sovereign rings and you've got a Vetements lookbook. I can already see Amazon producing these wigs for Halloween or fancy dress costumes. Just as 80s tracksuit wearing Scousers became comedy fodder in the 90s, this could be history repeating itself and what will turn the tide of this current trend.
After the recent fashion weeks, I've thought about how much momentum this sportswear trend, in fashion terms anyway, has left to run. Sometimes you need a replacement to push it off and other times people just get bored. I think it has until the end of the year, but we're definitely at the beginning of the end. Denim will be back soon, no doubt, and as we see more and more examples of sportswear looking Sports Direct bad, see above, the cool will drain from sportswear faster than you can say "trackie bottoms"!
It's fortunate they chose McDonald's, and not KFC, as there probably wouldn't be anybody there.
Walking into Topman's Oxford Circus flagship, a couple of weeks ago, there was a collection of bought-in brands such as Nicce, Le Coq Sportif and Champion, in an area on the first floor. All familiar, all offering the current taste for branded clothing.
Left - Vision Streetwear - Scarf £30
There was a large section for a brand I hadn't heard of called "Vision". All Balenciaga-type logo tops and branded football scarves, the product was good and definitely where we are right now and what guys want to buy.
I always like retailers to surprise me and give me things I hadn't heard of before. I just thought it was a street/sportswear brand that was yet to jump onto my radar.
I went to the Topman SS18 press day, the following week, and there was a special area for "Vision" and, then, the penny dropped: this must be an in-house brand.
It's clever. It allows brands to do something different, have a clean creative sheet and for it to be detached from the parent brand. It can also, unlike the main brand, be disposed of the minute it starts to wobble. Easy come, easy go.
People are much more open to fresh brands and this is the future for high-street retail. Secretive in-house brands, that look like they've been created by a young, dynamic group of creatives rather than be tainted by the connotations of the parent brand. TK Maxx have been doing it for years.
And this takes me to HIIT. A new sportswear focussed brand under Burton's umbrella. I'm much more likely to get excited about HIIT - it looks really good BTW - than "Burton Sportswear" for example. It also allows the people who work there to push it and be very current without a buyer in the background wailing "It's not very Burton, is it?".
Right - HIIT Available at Burton in January 2018
It also allows it to be stocked by third parties such as Zalando and ASOS. It stands on its own right and when its life cycle is over it can be shelved and a replacement or alternative waiting in the wings.
I'm calling these "Russian Doll Brands": brands within brands offering a new niche and more fashion forward or specialised clothing.
What these do is represent the shortening lives of brand and how they can easily come and go and also, it's a step away from "collaborations" which many consumers and brands have grown tired of.
Correction - Vision is owned by Authentic Brands Group, a brand development, marketing and entertainment company, which owns a global portfolio of lifestyle, sports, and celebrity and entertainment brands. It is exclusive to Topman in the UK and US, but not in Japan.
Guys, listen up. As you're probably wearing trainers or sneakers, right now, you'll probably want to know the direction your next pair is coming from. Think of the worst pair you can imagine, double it and then sprinkle on another cup of ugly and you're there.
Left - Vetements X Reebok Instapump Fury Canvas Trainers - £610 from matchesfashion.com
Gone are those minimal, sleek cup-soles, that have, let's be honest, had a good run for their money, to be replaced by the fugliest fuckers to hit the pavement.
Right - Raf Simons X Adidas Ozweego III Low-Top Trainers - £285
This is all part of our addiction to bad 90s style and everything of dubious taste. You better start planning the rest of the outfit!
Below Right - Eytys - Angel Low-Top Chunky-Sole Leather Trainers - £265
Below - Nike Air More Uptempo Triple Black - £140
We need some good news, and with new footwear label, Good News, it's coming in spades. I first saw Good News at the Designer Showrooms during the last LFWM, where they were previewing their new AW17 collection. What I liked was it was a twist on the classic American baseball shoe, but in material of the season - coloured corduroy.
Left - 80s styling from Good News SS17
Good News is a British contemporary footwear brand founded in 2016 in London by co-Founders Ben Tattersall and Nia Jones with the shared aspiration "to bring the world a little bit of GOOD NEWS".
Nia was a shoe designer at Topshop and Ben has a background in marketing and sales. The shoes have a unique thick natural rubber sole that gives ultra-comfort for men and ladies looking for a fresh contemporary sneaker at an affordable price. Fresh bold designs and colour is at the essence of the brand's identity and the styles that are available for the SS17 season.
Each piece is named after a traditional baseball term; 'Dinger' and 'Bagger' after a homerun, 'Hurler' the fast pitch, 'Babe' after legendary Babe Ruth and 'Slugger' after the ball is hit out of the park.
Hurler is a traditional baseball stripe, which comes in monochrome striped canvas with a natural rubber sole. The Bagger style comes in cotton canvas white, black or navy. The Dinger introduces colour into the collection with primary blue, red, green, off white, 70s burnt orange and black. This striking style has a contrasting white tongue that comes in cotton canvas. Babe is a canvas and nylon mix combining vibrant multi-coloured tones and Slugger is an easily styled black canvas with a noticeable white lace or matching black laces.
The collection ranges from £50 for the low height styles, to £60 for high-tops.
Right - More Good News SS17
Good News look to create a positive change in the world. From ethical product monitoring fairtrade and supply chain, to collaborations with charities and brands that share the Good News values. The aim is to engage target audiences and communities through raising awareness on important issues.
Now, just ask yourself, why buy a pair of Converse when you can get a pair of these?
Instagram @goodnewslondon Facebook @goodnewsldn www.goodnews.london
Below Right - Everything is coming up corduroy for AW17 - Good News Rhubarb Low AW17
Left - Hurler Hi AW17


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Playa Tamarindo, home of 'The Best Surf in Central America" has recently launched a new online resource for the areas travellers.
Tamarindotraveller.com showcases one of Costa Rica's most popular leisure go-to destinations and was recently rebranded with a mission to attract more tourists to the Tamarindo area.
The sun and fun destination of Playa Tamarindo is regarded as one of Costa Rica's hottest travel spots.
The website puts a fun and experiential spin on the Costa Rica hot spot, hoping to attract an audience that perhaps has not yet discovered "the Endless Summer."
"The key goal of this website is to separate itself from all the other vacation destination-oriented sites out there," said Byron Dwyer, owner of Tamarindo Traveller S.R.L. "We plan to accomplish this by being different with our presentation and promotional approach – such in a way that's not just user-friendly, but also advertiser friendly as well."
This newly designed website highlights key area amenities such as premier hotel and condo information, restaurants, attractions, tours, events and other relevant destination resources.
Key markets such as the United States and Canadian residents are also part of the main target focus via a myriad of marketing methods which will be handled entirely by Tamarindo Traveller and its highly trained digital marketing staff.
"Guanacaste tourism can always use the extra boost for the May – October period," continued Dwyer. "Our main objective is to promote Tamarindo as a destination that's just as great in the summer and fall months as it is in the winter."
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One of the original and best organic coffee shops in Tamarindo. Great for breakfast and lunch plus snacks.MORE INFORMATION
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A fashion and boutique shop located directly beside Noi Bistro in Downtown Tamarindo. Feel free to stop by and say hello!MORE INFORMATION
Recently rebranded, the Coast hotel Tamarindo is the perfect place to stay to enjoy peaceful nights located a short distance to town.MORE INFORMATION


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LG Display posts loss cuts investment plans on smartphone worries
LG Display, the company
LG Display, the company that for the 6.5-inch model that it will unveil this year, reported a loss for the second quarter on Wednesday. For the period from April through June, the company posted an operating loss of 228 billion won ($202.1 million USD). That beat the consensus of 11 analysts surveyed by Thomson Reuters who forecast a larger loss of 247 billion won. Revenue fell 15% year-over-year to 5.6 trillion won ($4.97 billion USD).
For LG Display, it was the company's second consecutive quarterly loss, and experts blamed lower LCD pricing due to overproduction of the panels by manufacturers. It also is leading LG Display to cut the amount it plans to invest in its business by 3 trillion won ($2.7 billion USD) by 2020. The company is keeping an eye on the U.S.-China trade war and could make changes to production in China and South Korea based on what is happening with this battle. Besides the oversaturated LCD market, the firm says that it decided to cut spending because of its concern about the smartphone market.


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Bottom: Episode 1 - Season 1. Smells. - Script
by Adrian Edmondson and Rik Mayall.
Scene 1. The Flat.
[Eddie and Richie return from the pub.]
Richie: I mean what happened there? I just don't understand it. I made all the right moves: I winked, I smiled - one of my nice ones as well - I sat down very nicely, leant forward, put on my special eyes and said "Hello big tits, looking for some action?" And what did she say?
Eddie: I think she said no, didn't she?
Richie: That's right! No. Blasted lesbians everywhere. They should have labels on them or something. I wasted half an hour on those two. Prancing up and down, winking, clenching me buttocks - backwards and forwards to the Gent's I was going. Look at this, look at this! I've got armfuls of gonad enhancers down here.
Eddie: I don't think they were lesbians, Richie, 'cause they got off with those other blokes. Those, er, handsomer, wittier, erm, well basically those two guys who didn't have a load of toilet paper stuffed down their trousers.
Richie: Yeah, well you hardly helped, did you? Stuffing a Vimto bottle down the front of your pants and shouting "Wahoo, looking for the Eiffel Tower girls?"
Eddie: I got a result.
Richie: I don't call a kick in the knackers a result.
Eddie: A free drink!
Richie: Oh yes, a kick in the knackers and a vodka and tonic in the face.
Eddie: Always keep your mouth open when you're insulting a lady.
Richie: What a waste of time. If only I could just get one of them to do it with me. I mean anybody. Just to do it with me. Just once. Just to find out what it's like. I mean look, look all around you. It's Friday night, and everywhere you look there's buildings full of people doing it. They're all doing it and doing it, and then stopping and having a fag and then doing it a bit more. There's not a single one of them saying "Hang on a minute. This really isn't fair. I mean, here's us doing it and doing it and doing it and there's poor old Richie and he hasn't done it. Ever. He hasn't got anyone to do it to. I'll tell you what, I'll pop down and do it to him for a bit, and then pop back up, would that be alright?" I mean it wouldn't hurt, would it? It'd be charitable. I mean, just think of all those acres and acres of ladies, all lying there saying "Go on darling, let's do it." And the blokes saying "Nah, I don't feel like doing it, the snooker's on." Well I could be filling in for him! Providing a service. I could even charge! Might make a bit of money. Hey Eddie, I've just thought of s- What on earth are you eating?
Eddie: Lard.
Richie: You are eating.. lard.
Eddie: Yeah, I'm hungry, but I'm too drunk to cook.
Richie: All right Eddie, I can feel the elbow in the ribs. Alright, I'll do one of my famous Friday night fryups. Chuck us a couple of eggs.
[Eddie throws across two eggs, which splash out of the frying pan.]
Ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha haa, the old ones are the best ones, aren't they! Who needs girls when you've got your mates! I tell you, there's some things a girl just can't appreciate and Richie's Friday night fryup is one of them. Oil!
[Eddie is drinking from a bottle of oil. He replaces the lid and throws the bottle to Richie.]
Eddie: Ah! Mazola!
Richie: Right then. A little dab of oil... The secret ingredient...
[He picks up a pan and starts to scrape out the contents.]
Come on out, you know you want to! Come on, you've only been in there a week.
[Eddie takes a pint from his jacket pocket.]
Eddie: Ha ha ha haaa!
Richie: And then just the last couple of pints... Hoh!
[Richie has noticed some action going on in the house opposite. He takes a pair of binoculars from a hook by the window. The couple notice him ogling them.]
Lovely night!
[He tosses the binoculars out of the window. A dog below barks. He turns away from the window with a sigh.]
Hit that dog again. But why doesn't anyone ever want to have any sex with me?
Eddie: Well look on the bright side Richie, at least you're not going to get any sexually transmitted diseases.
Richie: You're right there, I'd be lucky to catch flu off a girl. In fact that was the closest I ever got to sex when that bus conductress sneezed all over my head this morning. Gaw, talk about the Green Line! Oh Eddie. I'm just so depressed.
Eddie: Aw, cheer up Richie, there's loads and loads of ugly birds in the world, one of them's bound to do it with you sooner or later.
Richie: But there must be some way I can get a woman to sleep with me. I mean, she doesn't even need to sleep with me. It's the staying awake bit I'm interested in.
Eddie: Hey! I've just had a fantastic idea!
Richie: Oh great! [He waits while Eddie drinks his pint.] Well?
Eddie: What?
Richie: What was the fantastic idea?
Eddie: To drink that. Only joking! Why not put an ad in the lonely hearts column?
Richie: Yeah!
Eddie: Yeah, yeah. "Ugly virgin desperately seeks sex of any description."
Richie: That is absolutely brilliant! "Suave, sophisticated, witty" bababababa-aaaaaah! Let's just be economical with the truth. Um, something buck. Yeah, "Hot young buck".
Eddie: What about "badger"?
Richie: Nnnno, no, I'm more a sort of..
Eddie: "Hedgehog".
Richie: No, fox. That's good. No, that's good. No that is good.
Eddie: "Stoat".
Richie: Foxy stoat? Yeeaah! Yeah, it's got a ring to it. "Foxy stoat seeks.."
Eddie: "Pig"!
Richie: "Foxy stoat seeks pig." Shut up Eddie! This is very important. Let's see now, foxy stoat... on the prowl... Rrrrrrrrr... I like that! Musky, musky fox, musky sly old foxy stoat, minky musky sly old stoaty stoaty stoat... Oh this is ridiculous! I'm not getting anywhere. What do they normally put?
Eddie: Hang on, here we are. Sad old gits section. Sad old gits section. Did you hear what I said?
Richie: Yes.
Eddie: I said "Sad old gits section."
Richie: Please, I've only got so many ribs, Noel Coward. What do they normally put?
Eddie: Well he's not going to get very far, is he? "Gay."
Richie: Don't knock it Eddie, cuts down the field for guys like us. Right, let's have a look at this. "Gay.. gay gay gay gay gay gay widow ga-" aah, widow! [licks lips] "Widow. Busty, raven-haired, millionairess, gay." Gay, gay- hang on Eddie, this is the gay section! Well u- urhh, what's this? "Instant Sex Appeal". You can get it in a bottle.
Eddie: Let's have a look.
[Eddie gets up, stumbling around the room behind Richie.]
Richie: "Pheromone sex scent. Women cannot resist this powerful love smell. Scientifically distilled from mystical African orchids." Wow! Oh look, it's medically proven. "This stuff attracts women like you would not believe - Karachi Medical Gazette. Available at all good sex shops." This is it Eddie - Girl City here we come! What do you think old chum?
[Eddie throws up on Richie's shoulder. The pan explodes.]
Richie: Nil desparandum!
Scene 2. A Sex Shop.
[Richie is lurking outside the door; he pushes Eddie into the shop.]
Richie: Go on. Go on!
Assistant: Can I help you sir?
Eddie: Hhhh, hhhhhhhh! This is a sex shop isn't it?
Assistant: Yes.
Eddie: I'll have five quid's worth then!
Assistant: Very droll, sir. I've never heard that one before.
Eddie: Haven't you? Shall I tell it again?
Assistant: No thank you sir, I'd rather have a pineapple inserted violently into my rectum.
Eddie: You've been working here too long mate.
Richie: [hissing, from the door] Get some pheromone, get the pheromone.
Assistant: Can I help you, sir?
Richie: No.
Assistant: Do you wish to purchase anything to assist you with your sex life?
Richie: What are you implying? That I'm some sort of sexual inadequate? I have a very full and rich and varied sex life, thank you very much. I don't need anything from a shop like this!
Assistant: Would you get out then sir?
Richie: No.
Assistant: Why not?
Richie: It's a secret.
[He gestures urgently to Eddie.]
Eddie: [to Richie] Okay. [quietly] Hhhm, two bottles of pheromone please.
Assistant: Pardon?
Eddie: Hhhhhhhhh, two bottles of pheromone please.
Assistant: Pheromone! Oh yes, that's the sex spray for inadequate men who find it impossible to attract women?
Eddie: That's the one, yes.
Assistant: [to Richie] Isn't it, sir?
Richie: Ah, I've got no idea, not being a pervert I'm not up on these things.
Assistant: Your sex spray gentlemen!
Eddie: Hh, hhh, I've got it!
Richie: Fantastic, give me mine! Let's go! Er, I mean, well done Doctor..
Eddie: I'm not a doctor!
Richie: Shut up. We are men of science!
[He discovers that his hand is clasping a huge dildo. He jumps back.]
We live our lives on a higher plane than you do, buster! Where truth and purity and virginity are the only things we respect!
Eddie: That's right Richie. Let's get back to the flat, bung a bit of this on, get down the pub and see if we can pick up some birds!
Richie: Yeah!
[They leave. Richie gets tangled up in a leather harness.]
Urgh, urgh, urg, urgh.. whoarrgh!
Scene 3. The Flat.
[Eddie is in the bathroom, practicing in the mirror.]
Eddie: Hello baby. Feeling mysteriously drawn to me are you? Well don't you worry - you can have me whenever you like! Ll-ll-ll-ll-ll-ll-
[Eddie flaps his tongue at the mirror but suddenly stops, having noticed something. He pulls his tongue out further, covers it with shaving foam and shaves it.]
Richie: Ungh, blast these underpants! Argh! I've been soaking them for hours and I still can't get them off. You know I've only got one pair of pants?
Eddie: Yeah.
Richie: Well the elastic went so I had to glue them on.
Eddie: Have you tried Swarfega?
Richie: Get out of it mate, this is Eterno-Gum! Nothing'll shift this! I've been sitting on a bowl of petrol for the last two hours. I tell you, I'm a walking time-bomb I am - one curry and I'll blow, and I'll take half the street with me as well.
Eddie: Oh, don't you worry Richie. Within the hour some pheromone-crazed love goddess'll be ripping them off with her teeth.
Richie: Haahh, do you really think so?
Eddie: No doubt about it!
Richie: Ohh, God! I wonder what she'll find down there? I've had them on for three weeks. What am I doing here? Oh yes, where's that biro? Right, chest hair. What do you think, curly or straight? Curly's a bit suggestive, don't you think?
Eddie: Yeah, I'd go for curly.
Richie: Yeah, hwoorh. Curly it is. [Drawing hairs on his chest.] Curly wurly wurly...
Eddie: I'm not so sure about the green though.
Richie: I know, but I used up all the black on me legs. Oh-oh. Nose hair. [click, click] Tweezers!
Eddie: What do you mean, [click, click] tweezers? We've never had any tweezers.
Richie: Well get some [click, click] pliers then. Huh, it doesn't matter how much pheromone I put on, if some bird sees that coming at her out of the dark she's likely to pull on it and expect the butler to come in.
Eddie: [Returning with the pliers.] There. Here we go. Which one is it?
Richie: Third one on the left.
[There is a loud crunch as he closes the pliers on Richie's nostrils.]
Eddie: Brace yourself..
Richie: Yes?
Eddie: ..because this might make your eyes water.
[Eddie starts to pull, swinging Richie around from side to side, bracing himself with a foot in order to pull harder. Richie is in some discomfort and eventually manages to punch Eddie away.]
Richie: Bastard!
[Richie pulls the bathroom cabinet off the wall and smashes it over Eddie's head. Eddie punches Richie, sending him flying through the bathroom door. He follows him and starts lining up a huge punch.]
Richie: Oh, uh, no, Eddie, no, this is stupid!
Eddie: Yes?
Richie: Look, we're going out tonight, to get some fantastic birds! Remember? We don't have to take out our frustrations on each other, we can take them out on them! Okay?
Eddie: Okay.
Richie: Okay. Come on, let's shake and make up.
Both: Brrrrr. Mm mm mm... greeneye!
[They walk into the living-room.]
Eddie: Yeah, that's right Richie, our crumpet-free days are over. Listen to this. "Spray liberally..
Richie: Yeah?
Eddie: ..Go to a place with lots of females..
Richie: Yeah?
Eddie: ..and brace yourself."
Richie: Gawww! Hahhh. How much do you think we should put on?
Eddie: Well, I've already put on half a bottle.
Richie: What! Half a bottle? Are you insane? You'll be dead by morning. Death by Sex. You'll just be lying there and they'll be doing it to you and doing it to you and doing it to you until- I think I'll put on half a bottle as well! Ah, a little bit there, little bit there, little bit there just in case... ooh! Right. Where's that packet of rubber johnnies we used to have?
Eddie: We stuck them on our heads, remember, when Norman came round with that sherry.
Richie: Great days they were, great days. Ah well, not to worry - let's get some more down the pub.
Scene 4. The Pub.
[There is a terrific barking of dogs. Richie and Eddie enter, forcing the door shut behind them.]
Richie: Blimey, when it said "female" I didn't expect the term to be so broad. Hah.. right.. here we are. Here we go - Death by Sex, Part One. Right, come on.
Eddie: Look at that crackling bit of crumpet!
Richie: Right. That one's got my number on it. I'll see you later old pal, I'm going in.
Eddie: Okay, good luck skipper.
[Richie lifts his arm and wafts his armpit past the woman a few times. She doesn't notice. He flaps the front of his jacket at her, wafting pheromone.]
Richie: ..Yes... Give in... Give in to your cravings...
Woman: I beg your pardon?
Richie: Do as you are bid. You cannot help yourself... Come back to my place because we're going to have it off...
[The woman's husband appears behind Richie. He is a large, tough-looking man.]
Tough: What d'you think you're doing with my wife?
Eddie: He's gonna have it off with her!
Tough: I don't think he is.
[He takes a good grip on Richie's crutch and twists. Crunch.]
...I don't think he's capable any more.
Woman: No! Darling, don't hurt them. I think it's shocking they send them back into the community so soon...
Richie: Yes, that's right! We're mere loonies, we mean no harm! [He makes loony noises. Eddie joins in.] "Come back to my place, we're going to have it off" - ahhahha I'm mad! Ahhahahah- you see Eddie, it works!
Eddie: Did it?
Richie: Of course it did! If it hadn't been for that gorilla I would have been well away..
Eddie: Pwwoooargh!
Richie: Did you see her - she was mesmerised! And I'll tell you what..
Eddie: What?
Richie: It's loosened up my pants a bit too.
Eddie: Well, this is your lucky day!
Richie: You're not wrong there. Come on - we'll get the drinks in and
then we'll prrrrrowl. Grrrrrr. Landlord! [He clicks his fingers.] Two halves of mild please.
Eddie: In pint glasses.
Landlord: Certainly Eddie, and how are we today?
Eddie: Yep.
[Eddie sprays the air in front of him.]
Landlord: Fwoorh, smells like the drains have gone in here.
Eddie: Cor, look at those couple of stunners down there.
Richie: Whoh, whoh, whoh... Do you think they're starbirds?
Eddie: Yeah, bound to be mate. Either that or... topless models.
Richie: Look at the way they're sitting! Screaming for it! They want to have it off with someone.
Landlord: Ah, that'll be one pound sixty please gents.
Eddie: Yeah, cheers, just stick it on the slate Dick.
Landlord: Ah, you haven't got a slate.
Eddie: Yes we have!
Landlord: No you haven't.
Eddie: I demand to see the landlord!
Landlord: I am the landlord.
Eddie: I know!
Landlord: We have this conversation every night. One pound sixty.
Richie: All right, there you are. Vampire!
Eddie: Leech!
Richie: Bloodsucker!
Eddie: Parasite!
Richie: Usurer!
Landlord: Shut up.
Eddie: It's always worth a try.
Richie: Absolutely. Speaking of which, let the tournament commence.
[Richie walks behind one of the women, spraying some pheromone. He flaps his coat at her. He gets no response and plucks her shoulder.]
Excuse me, excuse me!
[Now Richie has her attention, he flaps his coat again and then waves his tie in her face.]
Kate: Is there something wrong?
Richie: No, there's everything right... my love.
[Eddie points at the other girl.]
Eddie: Is that one mine?
Richie: Yes, that's your bird.
Eddie: Right, we'd better get started then.
[He sprays the other girl in the face.]
Right, so what's it to be then - mild or bitter?
Richie: Or straight back to our place?
Kate: I'm sorry, look we really don't want a drink.
Richie: I think you do.
[Richie sprays his armpit and thrusts it in her face.]
Are you sure?
Kate: Oh alright, if you must I'll have a Coke.
Richie: Bingo! It bloody works! Eddie, you get the drinks in. I'll keep the birds white hot.
Eddie: Okay.
Richie: So, little baby. What might your little name be today?
Kate: My little name's Kate today, same as it was yesterday.
Richie: Hahahahahaaa. I say, what a lovely blouse. It's very special isn't it? Do you often wear blouses? Or sometimes do you wear a jumper? I suppose it depends on the weather really doesn't it? I, I sometimes wear a jumper. There again, sometimes I wear a cardie. Tell me, do you like to take people's underpants off with your teeth?
Landlord: You haven't got a slate.
Eddie: Extortionate parasite!
Landlord: Shut up.
Eddie: Here we go.
Richie: I suppose if you're wearing dentures...
Eddie: Hey, here's a good one. Anyone fancy a quick gander at the Eiffel Tower?
Richie: Oh, this is frightfully funny- no it's not! Eddie! No! No! Don't do that, because I think it's time to go to the toilet. Eddie, wouldn't you like to come to the toilet with me?
Eddie: No.. I wouldn't?
[Richie mimes putting money into a machine, getting a condom out, stretching it between his fingers, unrolling the condom over his head, pulling it tight, rolling it back off again. Eddie, not understanding, repeats the stretching gesture. In desperation Richie gestures, poking his finger through the circle formed by the finger and thumb of his other hand; the girls notice and he opens his hand, pretending to rub some dirt off it.]
Eddie: I get it! Johnnies!
[Richie runs away, heading for the toilet.]
Eddie: Shan't be a moment girls, I'm desperate to go. Ahh, keep yourselves hot, we shall be but a moment. Adieu, adieu.. to yeu and yeu and yeu...
Richie: Edward Hitler, will you get into the lavatory with me this instant!
[Eddie goes in. Richie notices the rest of the pub watching.]
We're.. toilet inspectors.
Scene 5. The Gent's Toilet.
[Eddie takes a look out of the door.]
Eddie: The coast is clear!
Richie: Right, let's go! Oh, nadgers - what kind do you want?
Eddie: Rubber ones.
Richie: Yeah, but there's, there's ribbed, there's ticklers and there's ultra-sensitive.
Eddie: Ripped?
Richie: Yeah.
Eddie: Who's gonna want a ripped condom?
Richie: Ah, it must be for people who want to get pregnant. Well, I don't think ultra-sensitive's our style, do you?
Eddie: Nahhh.
Richie: Right then, tickler it is! Oh, nadgers - what colour?
Eddie: What have they got?
Richie: There's black, there's gold, there's Union Jack or there's leopard-skin.
Eddie: Which d'you think is the most romantic?
Richie: Well, Union Jack of course.
Eddie: Well, Union Jack tickler then.
Richie: Okey-dokey. Oh, nadgers - what flavour?
Eddie: Flavour?
Richie: Yeah, there's banana, strawberry, peanut butter, Marmite or cheese and onion.
Eddie: Well, everyone likes cheese and onion don't they?
Richie: Of course they do. Okey-dokey then. Cheese and onion flavour Union Jack tickler it is. Bagsy me first go with it.
Eddie: No, no, no. Get two.
Richie: Get two?
Eddie: Yeah.
Richie: Wild man!
[Richie feeds some money into the machine and presses the relevant buttons. Nothing happens. He hits the machine a few times.]
Bastard! Bastard! Give me my rubber johnnies!
Eddie: Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I'm the DIY expert. Right, let's have a look at the little fella. Hah.. Yeah, I think I see the problem.
Richie: What is it?
[Eddie hits the machine, too hard, and doubles up in pain.]
Eddie: Hwarg- ooh! Ahh, ahhg, ahhg!
Richie: Eddie!
[Richie starts hitting the machine.]
Give me my johnnies, give me my johnnies!
Eddie: Ow!
Richie: There's two birds out there in the bar who're just screaming for it! Give me my johnnies!
[The tough man from the bar walks into the toilet, behind Richie. Eddie plucks at Richie's arm, trying to warn him.]
Get off, Eddie! Give me my johnnies! I just want to do it and do it and do it to those two birds at the bar- ah, ah..
Tough: You wanna what?
Eddie: Um, he, he, he wants to do it and do it and do it to those two birds at the bar.
Richie: Haahaa..
[Richie gets punched and crashes back against the machine, which starts to spew out packets of condoms.]
Ooh! Eddie! Look! More johnnies than it's humanly possible to use in a week!
Eddie: Grreat!
[Eddie opens his mouth and gives himself a massive blast of pheromone.]
Richie: Come on, that should do for a week. Let's go out there before our two crumpets go off the boil.
Scene 6. Back in the Pub.
[Richie and Eddie enter from the toilet.]
Richie: Oh no! Someone's nicked our birds!
Eddie: Come on Richie, let me at them! I'm a sex typhoon! Hello, baby!
Richie: Eddie, Eddie, calm down. That's a chair.
Eddie: Yeah, it's a bit of all right isn't it?
Richie: Eddie, calm down, someone's nicked our crumpets. Oh no, there they are..
[Eddie begins pawing the tough man, who is standing at the bar with his wife. Richie notices just in time.]
Eddie: Hwor, hwor, hworrrrgh...
Richie: Eddie, no! Wrong one! Ha ha [loony noise].
[They arrive at the table where the two women are now sitting.]
Ha ha ha ha ha-ha! Oh. So you've moved tables. Of course, how silly of me. It's much more romantic in a booth, isn't it birds?
Kate: Look, I'm sorry, but we're having a private conversation.
Richie: That's all right, you just carry on, we'll sit here and listen. But you'd better hurry up - we haven't got all night.
Kate's Friend:
No, I'm sorry, we'd really rather be on our own.
Richie: Oh. Oooh. Ah ha ha ha-ha. Trying to decide which one of us to have, are you? Well before you decide let me tell you that, ah, "Tiny" Eddie here and.. I.. h-hmm.. share the same flat so don't worry, you'll both be waking up in the same house.
Eddie: Have me. Have me, I'm a Love Albatross!
[Eddie falls off his chair and slips down under the table.]
Richie: Ah-ha ha ha ha ha. Yes. Although, if you play your cards right, you could both wind up sleeping in the same.. bed.
Kate: I'm sorry. You've got the wrong idea. We're really not interested. Besides which, we're lesbians.
Richie: Well, you'd be used to it then won't- you what!
Kate: We're lesbians.
Richie: Yes, I know what you said! Is this some sort of joke? Because if it is I don't think it's very funny.
Friend: Come on Kate, let's go.
Richie: Wait a minute! You just sit down there young lady. I bought you a Coca-Cola in good faith. That's eighty pence you've hoodwinked out of me. Eighty pence. When I said "Hello my darling, would you like a Coca-Cola?" did you say "No thank you, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm a lesbian"? No, you didn't, not a bit of it. You said "Thank you very much, that'd be lovely".
Kate: No I didn't, I said "Oh all right, if you must".
Richie: All right, all right, there's no need to be so pedantic. The fact is you owe me eighty pence.
Kate: What d'you mean?
Richie: Well you're not going to sleep with me are you?
Kate: Right, there's your eighty pence. Come on, let's go.
Richie: What, you're going? No, wait, wait, wait, this is silly, this is so silly. Ha-ha, look, look, hah, look, I'm terribly sor- look, what the hell! Let's waive the eighty pence. You know, it's Saturday night! Who cares? Look, look, okay, I'm sorry. I have been terribly intolerant. It's not your fault that you're lesbians. Look, please, give me one more chance. Come back to my place - and I'll cure you.
[The women push past Richie and leave. Richie calls to them through the open door.]
What did I say? No, no don't go! Please! I've got the same ideas about women as you have! I've got loads of magazines at home! You can come back with me and we'll all read them together! I've got every mail order catalogue since 1983! And they just flop open at the lingerie pages! Hey, no, wait, wait, I've even taped the "Clothes Show" special on beachwear! We could take all our clothes off and watch them in our pants!
[Richie notices the silence, the rest of the pub looking at him, hanging on every word.]
Yes, is there something wrong?
[The background chatter of the pub returns. Richie walks back into the pub and starts to put his coat on with a sigh.]
Ruined Saturday night. Oh well, may as well have another drink. Landlord, I shall have a large- Landlord: Time gentlemen please!
Richie: You are a cu-
Landlord: Out!
Eddie: Hi baby. Cor, you smell great! Let's do it!
Richie: Eddie, get a grip!
Eddie: Lovely, aren't you? Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely.
Richie: Eddie, no!
Eddie: Richie, yes!
Richie: Huuhh.. Right, I'm off!
[Richie speeds out of the door. There is a terrible commotion of dogs barking. He returns, panting.]
Eddie: Changed your mind have you dearie? Well, come on then. Plant a big one right on me kisser!
Richie: Uurrrgh. Urgh, urgh.
[Richie advances towards Eddie, expressions of distaste and disgust crossing his face. When he gets close enough he lets fly a massive punch. The screen freezes just after it lands. The titles roll.]