text:
Contact Me
I'd love to hear from you!
Share your stories, ask questions… let's connect!
Email. Click here to Email me. This is a confidential way to talk. I try to answer all emails, but the reality is that I receive far more than I have time in the day to respond to, so the following work much better:
Comments. The people that I invest my time with are those who have read through my website and demonstrate that by commenting (anonymously is okay, or using a fictitious name) they are a real person and not a spammer. I try to respond to as many comments as I can within 24-48 hours. Comments are best, because your question, your story, or your thoughts and feelings may be just what another survivor needs to hear and comments are displayed publicly. You may use your first name, a fictitious name, or "anonymous" in the name and your email address remains private, only seen by me.
Phone calls. I get many requests for phone consultations, and I rarely say yes. I know many of you are in a desperate place right now, but the purpose of this site is simply to tell my story and to share the hope that you, too, can be free. I am not a counselor, therapist, or expert in any system of this world. I have found all of the usual means of support to be ineffective in dealing with true evil.
Please remember, I am not all that important to you. It's Holy Spirit who is your lifeline, comforter, and teacher. I'm here to share the journey with you, but not to advise or counsel. I hope you will see in my stories that is the Path I took, to gain my own freedom. And as you will discover, that doesn't mean I got rid of the sociopaths – they are still lurking about. But as in Psalm 23, the Lord sets a banqueting table before me IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES, and he anoints my head with oil. My cup overflows.
He has taught me to rule in the midst of my enemies and to grin in the face of disaster. That doesn't mean I don't flounder or get stuck anymore, but I'm quicker to get back up and on the path toward the Light (Truth and Love).
That being said, I hope to hear from you! I look forward to hearing your stories. Nothing is too messy. Nothing is too horrible. I've heard it all, believe me! My favorite thing to do is to pray for you, and I come from a Christian perspective. But most New Agers, Buddists, Indians, and Atheists feel comfortable with me, as I do with them. We are all connected. We are all one. What I believe is written here.
And because we are one, your story matters and your freedom is incredibly important!
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
- March 31, 2018 at 3:42 pm
I am so grateful for finding this page and just wanted to thank you for sharing. I am a fellow warrior trying to find closure. It's difficult for me as I have a traumatic brain injury and trying to absorb all of this. Thank you and God bless xo
- December 7, 2016 at 9:01 pm
I'm at a crossroads of sorts right now. I feel God may be working in my life to lead me to you and other individuals recently. I've been dealing with a truly evil person who makes fun of the fact that my mother and sister are dead. She also ridicules my looks and scars. That among several other bad events. I'm hoping that I find guidance or a message or something. I've even considered taking spiritual "baths" to bring better luck and protection. What are your thoughts?? Thank you!!
- October 29, 2016 at 11:41 am
I found your website searching for information on the Internet to help me learn was of identity sociopathic behavior and I am interested in learning how to recognize behavior's in person who is, here is the thing, I started on my journey with my relationship with God over seven years ago, but about Ten years ago I met and dated my now fiancé, back then I did not think we would be engaged many years later, and at that time we both were drug users who self medicated instead of get help with our mental disorders, we lost contact shortly after dating and did not see each other until ten years later. One thing that has not changed with us even through time is that we a best friends and our love is even stronger. I have been stable on my medication for the past seven years. I have list weight and my health is better than ever, I have an amazing new career, and I am a college student, To God Be The Glory, My fiancé is currently in jail, he is in a program getting help for his addiction and mental disorder and he has just began his relationship with God, he saidid he admires the changes God has made in my life, So I said all of this to introduce myself and my situation to you; I found a lot of helpful insightful information on your site and I have subscribed to your site, my only concern with my situation is what things to look for in an individual, to know they are being sincere and not doing things to manipulate just to get what they want? If you have any insight, please feel free to share. Thank you in advance for any of your time conce ring my situation
- August 19, 2016 at 12:49 am
Im soo glad to have came across your blog its such a blessing thank you…
I'm twenty-seven years of age and I'm going through the worse of all relationships I have ever been in.
I met my now ex boyfriend/fianće, on facebook april 2015 I know such an red flag. We messaged one another, for about a month on via facebook. before deciding to meet in a public place. He start off as the man of my dreams he was saved, loved Jesus, always wanted to pray, loved ministering to people , studying the word of God. He was polite to me, showered me with great affirmation, always gave me compliments, showered me with flowers every other day. He wanted me to meet his family. He wanted me to come to his church. He wanted to pray with me constantly…All of this within three months of meeting. And in the beginning I was a little apprehensive because five years prior to him I was in such a toxic relationship so my guards were up but his charm brought them down a little. Fast forward were dating for about six months now and I realize he's becoming so clingy. he always wanted to know what I was doing and who i was with and he would continuously to call and text me when I was out with family or friends after I stated I would be out. So that started to frustrate me because I was coming from a place where I'm not a clingy person at all and I like my space and I did understand in a relationship you have to compromise a times. But that was over bearing and i would express that to him but it would turn into an disagreement of me not being considerate of him feeling and etc. Also i noticed he always wanted to be in my presence and I would express to him that there are times when we cant hang out or we couldn't hang out pass a certain time because of our flesh( guarding ourselves) and etc but he still pushed the limits. So in November him and I ended up falling into fornication and literally I shut now mentally, emotionally, spiritually I had just came numb in a moment I had lost all respect for myself and him. So we proceeded to go on with the relationship after talking about our fall. Which wasn't a good because it really went down hill from there. Fast forward he has three mentors two men and one woman.. he would go to them tell them everything about our relationship and they would tell him I wasn't any good for him that I was a jezebel pretty much and was telling him to juggle me and other women and pick the best one. he would come back to me and express all of these things. also it was a young lady he use to be involved with a couple of years prior to meeting me but he stated she decided to talk to someone else.. but in the midst of him and I dating she wanted to give their "relationship" another try. So he come to me and says I met up with her at the park to express to her that he loved me and wanted to be with you. Then he goes on to tell me that his pastor told him he should get rid of me and be with her because she fits where he's going in life which is a "pastor".("so I told him well if he feel like she's the one go for it) and he got so pissed at me." And he stated after telling his pastor no he wanted to be with me that his pastor started treating him differently and was taking position away and suspending him .so after a month or two of just going through the motions thing were a little balanced soo I thought. He started popping up at my job dropping flowers off. after started I could have gotten fired because it's private housing. He would always want to see me, call me, or text me.. so the fornication didn't stop it would happen every now and than and each time afterwards I will feel myself going deeper into a slump. i would express that to him and that i thought we should part ways until we allowed God to work on our broken area's. He would always state that God could work on us together but deep down inside I was hurting..he couldnt understand that so I grew more frustrated with him because I felt like I didn't protect his purity and nor did he protect mine and I was grieving God. By this time I know we have a ungodly soultie… he would express to me how everyone has walked out of his life and hoW he has been done soo wrong in relationship. because I had been done horribly in relationship i feel like we connected on a level of hurt and not wholeness. So fast forward im attending a conference in ATL that i had planned way before he was a thought and was with two of my really close make friends and one other lady. He threw a fit and broke up with me while I was on the trip. He told me I was sleeping with them and i can go live a single life and etc. But we ended up back together and still dealing with hum going through my phone, always asking me was I talking to other men.he wanted me to cut all ties with all of my friends because he said they weren't good for me and how he cut all his friends off for our relationship..and how much he sacrifice for our relationship and how I don't understand or don't care I was just a mess. Mentally I was drained. one day I told him i had a meeting but the meeting was cancelled so I decided to go out with two of my male friends that are like brother to me literally. I didn't have a clue that he had followed me for almost two hours and called and broke up with me once again. I was just sooo confused ,thAt night he came to me house at midnight begging to talk to me and knocking on my window and i gave
in " I know stupid". So we so called got over that hump. So in March of he proposed to me in secret…i hid it from my friends because none of them liked him at all. But they found out and I ended up losing one of my really good friends she called me desprate and etc which didn't my situation any better instead of her praying for me she just belittle me. Him and I were still on Rocky grounds in April we went out the day before valentines day because we both had things to do with our churches. But that evening I went out to an church event with a couple of my friends for a relationship panel… He dropped flowers at my house at 3pm and broke up with me at 8pm through a letter because he started I was out with a guy..so I thought it was over by this time I'm tired of crying and trying to make him happy. One weeks passes and he pops up at my house apologizing and saying how he can't live without me and God said I'm his wife and blah blah and I told him I needed space and time even in that he would still find his way in asking if I needed help with things and etc before I know it were back in each others arms.. So now were in June and I just feel heavy I'm not myself I don't care about my appearance, I'm emotionally eating gaining weight, I'm not seeking after God at all, I'm just going from day to day getting by not living. So I told him I needed a break and he fuss with me and I would fuss with him and we would say poisonous things to one another because now God was soo absent in that situation. So then he blame me of sleeping with his friend and because him and I had a pregnancy scare he stated I was trying to pinned a baby on him when it was really his friends baby. And i have never met the guy he was speaking off so he broke up with me again a d this time I was wanted answers and was fed up so I met up with him at a park and after being there for about five minutes I wAnted to leave because he was trying to convince me that I slept with his friend but he wouldn't let me get in my car.. And out of frustration I did hit him and I'm not proud to say that all I'm just being honest he held he against my will for thirty minutes I got awAy after that.we didn't talk for about two weeks then I emailed him and apologize for hitting him out of shame and guilt… Which I should have left it alone because we connected again..so little after that he quit working for the church because he stated they continued to harass him about not being with the other young lady . The catch is he never told me he quit working for church until I figured it out which was odd to me. I also decoverd he was closet smoking black and milds only God knows what else he was doing. But me just being In a blah place I didn't care I just encouraged him to get another job. So now it's around june and he's seeking employment but he's contantly fibbing about minor things work, talking to other people, and I would confront him on it and he would become rageful..which he would tell me it's my fault he's in rage slowly he would start to call me stupid, insecure dumb, mean, and etc. So I broke up with him and literally he emailed me one week later stating he had liver problems. so me being this compassionate person I bowed to walk with him through the process. In the midst of it he was kicked out of the place he was staying at which was his grandmother home. his mother kicked him out after a week of living her… So pretty such he was homeless to I told him he could stay at my house for a month max. While at my house he explained to me his mother suffer from bipolarism and personality disorder and his father was physically and verbally abusive to him mother when they were married. And that was a totally red flag for me. That's when it clicked that this man is a product of his parents and he's crazy. So I explained to him that i would give him the room and I would sleep in the living room because I just didn't want to fornicate and I already felt bad for allowing him to stay with me.. He threw a for he said I was growing distant from him and was it becAuse i talking to other guy… I had to hide this from everyone.. he would come in the living every night and morning and he would get mad when I would tell him to go back in the room. One night I had worked a 12 shift I was extremely tired I had showered and was laying down heading to bed. He came in the living room and request that him and I pray. So I said you can pray because I'm exhausted and I grabbed his hand he pullef his hand away went off on me because I didn't sit up called me all kinds of names and stormed out of the house to smoke and came back and was still going off on me.. the next morning he said he felt disrespected and I don't care about prayer so he got his things and I thought he was done so I shut the front door so I could take a shower for work. the next thing I know my front door is broken down. And he's approaching me at the bathroom door pushing my head and pushing me into the tub and telling me how much he hate me and how I broke his heart and ruined his life and ministry and how everyone was right about me. And in the midst of it I stayed com because I felt like he would hAve probably really hurt me tHat day. so a couple of dAys passes he brings up his lover situation I go the the appointment with they clear him of his issues which I honestly think was false but whatever so at the time were done he clam we can be cool but I'm like noo I saw a side of you I didn't like…so one day he calls me about something he left at my house so I tell him I'm not home I'm out washing never told him where I was…so thirty minutes later he comes to the laundry mat and smashed my phone into piece on the ground and stated I have been cheating on him the whole time and just leaves after telling me how I'm just a horrible person. Fast forward I was done I was whipped out mentally, physically, spiritually emotionally so I sent him and email the next morning telling him how sorry i was about everything I had ever done to him and how I believe our relationship has became very toxic and unpleasing to god and I believe it's best that we go our separate ways. literally he called me 24 times back to back I didn't answer he came to my house slashed all four of my tires, carved hoe on the hood of my car, busted out my bedroom Windows. I called the cops the only thing they did was home and write down the report and put a warrant out for his arrest.Also after he turned himself in they called to tell me he had been served with a court order restraining order and stated to me that my ex seems like an upstanding guy. And I asked them if he's soo upstanding why are you guys serving him and restaining order. And they laughed as if it was a joke I was scared for my life while all this was going on which was on Aug. 7th I could go home for a couple of days because I was fearful of what he would do he was leaving voicemails cursing me out text messages. So on Aug 10th I went the police station to let them know he violated the restaining order. Literally I pulled up to my house to get more clothes. My ex had parked two blocks away and was waiting for me. I was coming out side to talk to my neighbor he was asking me about my broken window. Be hold I see my ex at the corner of my street on feet coming way. Out of fear I jumped in my car panicking and followed him and called the police they told me to go back to my house they were sending someone. Behold my ex got into his car and started chasing me trying to hit me by the grace of God I didn't get into an excidents not hit anyone. but I was able to run into a cop who was aware of what was taking place then my ex proceeded to lead the cops on a twenty minute high speed chase. He's in jail now he goes to court on aug23 a day after his 27th and I'm still having nightmares of him coming after me and killing me.. ever time the da calls me my heart drops and I get a knot in my stomach. They asked me what I think they should do I said jail and mental help..but people think I'm being to light on him because I stated Vengance is the lords..its just I'm in a place of what will he do to me when he gets out I'm trying not too walk in fear but there are days I'm ok and others days im just crying non-stop because I cant believe this is my life at the moment and I can't rest until I know I'm safe….and I'm trying my hardest to stay strong because I'm not surrounded by a good support group everyone is just like get over it. But they don't understand the damage it has caused.. And apart of me feel guilty that he's in jail. He might come out with a felony which is probably going to make him come after me. I feel like i would have left a while ago we wouldn't be in the situation I'm just an scared emotional wreck while juggling work and everyday life, family, friendships and putting my im ok mask on and taking it off at night when I'm alone…please pray for me and email and advice you have for me during the stage… thanks
- August 13, 2016 at 11:51 am
It's been 3 years since God removed me from the relationship and I am thankful I found your website shortly after that day. Just by chance I stumbled on to the website when it was "teamfamilyonline" and found the truth of what I was living. Every once in a while I return to read a little something new to assure myself this is the right path I am on now. Although health, family, and financial issues still plague me I am in a relationship with God I never thought was possible. I've learned to be grateful for the "lesson" my God allowed me to live through.
Even 3 years later I find that I slip back into the "if's" once in a while. (If I had prayed differently, if I had just….) Thank you for continuing your dedication to this site as I need a refresher course now and then. Many blessings have come to all of us because of your willingness to share the truth of thse toxic relationships.
God bless you, "Paula"
- June 13, 2016 at 3:22 pm
Could you message me? when you have time. Thank You!
- June 3, 2016 at 11:46 pm
Could you contact me by e-mail? I have a similar story but don't want to get into too much detail in this forum. Married to a narcissist for nearly 3 decades, went through the divorce from hades (which exists on paper only)(still being tortured), and first "relationship" out fell for a psychopath who targeted me 100 miles away. My health is a mess. I am in the battle of my life. I pray all day long. I love the Lord Jesus Christ who has sustained me but I am one exhausted woman.
- May 10, 2016 at 8:08 pm
Hi White Dove,
I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes because I accidentally came across your website and you literally saved my life by reminding me of the importance of God and that no matter what bad situation in in he is always there to protect me and that I should fear no one. I'm currently in a relationship with a narcissistic guy, we live together and have been engaged for a few months. Honestly I was at my breaking point with all his narcissistic rage outbursts and being a Christian something just hasn't been right with my soul for a while and now I realize why. I'm really trying to find help in ways to cope with the emotional strain it has been and it's because of you I realized that I need to take back my life and truly give it to God and be confident in the fact that he will help me find a way out of this and to not fear NO MAN. Thank you so much and I'm sure your a very busy person it's just good to know that there is someone out there who is willing to listen and help so even writing this comment is helping me. I know this road won't be easy and I may stumble and fall but I will keep growing my relationship with God and give it all up to him while I try to figure out how to get out this. Thank you soo much for even taking the time to read this. God bless
- April 12, 2016 at 5:38 am
I want to thank you for sharing your story, and for all women's stories out there about this. I can honestly say that I am very sorry for what you went through. I have been through so much trauma in my life, and somehow seem to keep attracting abusers. I had abusive parents who killed themselves and then after that I began to seek God. I went to a church for about 5 years before the minister at that church went off the rail and began acting creepy and vile toward people in the audience, calling the church "his church" and not "God/Christ's church." He behaved creepily with me and my husband and I confronted him. After he lied to us we knew it was time to leave, so we left.
I wanted to make a connection with God so bad that I would turn into other church parking lots on Sunday morning only to get severe PTSD and then to just leave the lot without ever attending church. One Sunday my car broke down in front of a church. It was the last place I wanted to be. However I got to meet the minister and the secretary (because I needed help and it was in the middle of nowhere). So I began attending that church, but first I had a meeting with two of the pastors to ask them if I would be abused there. The main pastor said, "That shouldn't happen to you." I should have listened to his words. Any other good and decent pastor would have said, "that won't happen to you here."
I think this pastor was a psychopath who heard my story and then knew he could use me. He began by being very friendly with me, almost too friendly. He put my ideas on a pedastal, he'd call on me in class, he'd point me out. But something about it felt "off," to me. I should have listened to my gut feelings. He began to stare at me in very creepy almost sexualized ways and to make comments to me. During a party at church I felt eyes on the back of my head and looked to see him staring at me in that creepy way again, but this time, his wife, who was next to him looked over at him and then saw what he was looking at–me–and she shot me the most hurt look I'd ever seen on someone's face. I decided right then and there that something needed to be done about this. So the next time I had a chance I spoke (in front of everyone at the church during a bible study–and in front of the minister who was speaking) about the subject of love versus lust. I said that lust causes us to sin and hurt others while real love causes us to cast lust aside in favor of truly caring about others and ourselves and our relationships with God.
Shortly after all of that the minister gave a speech from the pulpit on Sunday about how he'd been "bad," but he loved his wife and would never leave her. He went on and on about her cooking etc… and I felt wonderful because I thought he had sincerely repented. He avoided me, he wouldn't look at me anymore, and honestly I thought "this is the best thing for his marriage, I'm so glad he's repentant."
However, fast forward a few months and a new young couple joined our church. We live kind of far out toward the country so it's rare for people to join our church. Sure enough, after a couple of weeks, I witnessed the same behavior he had toward me in the beginning toward the new wife/woman of the couple. Yes, more care than normal must be given to new couples in the church, but not "only" to the woman, nor to the degree this guy goes. I am uncertain of whether or not he's a narcissist, psychopath, under demonic influence, or just a man who falls astray. Maybe it's not for me to say, but the thing that angers me the most is the fact that when I came into the church I asked specifically if I would be "hurt" again there, and he callously said "that shouldn't happen." This guy has a problem and knows he has a problem (he admits, every 6 months to 2 years from the pulpit) that he has a "problem with women."
I have been praying about whether or not to stay in this place. I am sure his wife doesn't like me, and I know he doesn't like me for "outting" him, which I have done to his face with a couple of comments I have made recently, (not in front of anyone, but to him alone–they were anecdotes about predators in the pulpit, though I did not name him, rather, like Nathan with David, I gave him scenarios of predators in the church and noticed he was very nervous about the things I was saying to him.) but I don't know what to do about this situation.
I don't know if we should tell the elders or not, or confront him or not. It seems this behavior he gets away with on a regular basis. I know they will all just blame me and kick me out of the church–because all this kind of trauma has happened to me before. I dont' know what to do. But, sadly, I'm glad I'm not alone. I am being made to feel like it's my fault for feeling the way I do because I recently said at church, in a class, something about psychopaths and narcissists in the pulpit and the ministers wife actually said to me, "isn't it possible that what you've been through already colors how you see things now…" so I know they will "blame the victim." I'm also beginning to believe that's why he chose me–because he knew I'd been abused before and he could use that to his advantage to claim that, "it's all in my head already because of where I've come from."
- January 4, 2016 at 1:52 am
Wow- I have never met someone who went through similar trials I have. I have 4 boys, my ex husband told me he would fill a coffee can with cement and throw me over a bridge, he named the bridge. My eldest son ran upstairs as I calmly told him it will never happen. He bought a gun, the woman he was having an affair with shot and killed her husband point blank.
My mother had a car accident and since I was divorced, I took her in to care for her while going to nursing school and homeschooling the boys. I graduated top of the class and went straight in to the ICU. My mom insisted I made her a joint tenant otherwise she would not contribute to the household. Went thru many difficult times with my ex during marriage and divorce. He abandoned the kids after he realized the courts didn't believe his lies.
My mother stopped working and wanted me to sell house because she needed money. My youngest was 8. I have been falsely persecuted at work (not ICU) and became ill with an unknown nuerological illness, fevers, etc. My 18 year old is now also sick with similar symptoms. Have been to ucla, multiple diagnostics, discovered mold in house from multiple floods that came from ranch behind us. We have been out of house for 3 months, medical leave almost up, no diagnosis, no house (only mortgage) and soon no money.
This past year I have experienced a lot of rejection but somehow I believe that God is getting ready to move in a mighty way. I can't work yet so I pray, help my son and keep my spirits up. Will update you when my miracle manifests in my life. God Bless You!
- October 6, 2015 at 6:28 am
I am a HUGE Graham Cooke fan in fact going to see him next week in LA !!! When I saw that in your blog about his family I knew God led me here!!
- October 6, 2015 at 6:26 am
Hi White Dove,
Wow. The Lord absolutely led me to your site tonight as I sit here in the stillness at 4 am once again praying for wisdom in what seems like a hopeless situation. A very long long story , as Im sure most are, however I think I am seeking the wisdom of counsel right now as it says in Proverbs.
My beautiful daughter at 31 married a handsome, rich and very charismatic young man 3 years ago. She was looking for a job after college and a friend recommended she interview with her boss. She was his nanny and watched over his two little boys as he was a newly divorced man and was extremely successful (so we thought). My friend had brought over the little guys a couple of times as they were the ages of my grandchildren so it was natural for them to come over while we visited. I had heard about how rich and successful this man was but never once thought he would maybe be my son in law one day. At any rate she graduated from one of the top Universities in the World and he wanted to interview nice looking women that were graduates from this particular college as there is quite a strong "alumni" presence in this area and networking with other alumni is a big plus in the business and financial world here. So through contact with my friend the nanny of this guy, she interviewed with him who was only 5 years older than her and divorced and the relationship was strictly business at first but within months he was asking her to marry him and it looked like a match made in heaven. Well as you know…it has come to our attention that it is in fact a marriage of deceit, lies, cheating and will be a marriage made in hell when our unsuspecting daughter finds out. They have only been married 3 years and she is already pregnant with their 3rd child. He is not only from a STRONG catholic background but a bloodline of The Knights of Malta, Jesuit order and the highest and most powerful demonic forces on earth. The demonic presence in him is beyond anything Ive ever experienced as a Christian. He has destroyed our family with lies, accusations and found out from his ex wife that he threated to kill her, crushed her skull, was addicted to strip bars and spent every last dime on them including $400 dollar bottles of wine every night maybe 2, 3,or 4 of them but doesn't own a home, never has and is millions of dollars in debt but his "malta" buddies and weathly father keep giving him candy money so he can look rich. Our daughter has now let him turn against us for NO reason other than I sent her a couple videos on the difference of theology in Catholics and Christians and how the Roman Church got started and why it is wrong to pray to Mary. She was raised in a Christian home but became a Catholic for him (good thing as when his ex-wife said she wanted to remain a baptist is when he threatened to kill her) I thought he was such a great guy until about a month ago when he started a smear campaign against my youngest sons girlfriend and insisted she not be a part of our family (thats not how we roll in our family). His family is ALWAYS wrapped up in drama and backstabbing and we think they are horrible people but alwasy thought he was innocent and now see that HE is really the worst. I guess what Im asking is for any advice. We have been praying every day for wisdom on how to handle this. He has refused to let us see our beautiful grandkids ages 1 and 2 who love and adore me. In fact when they are in my arms they will NOT go to him. My 2 year old granddaughter screams when he tries to take her out of my arms. My husband says thats why he's trying to destroy me because he is jealous that she already at 2 loves me more than him. She knows how evil he is because she sees him brutally abuse his older boys daily!! We have asked him not to do it in front of us as it breaks my heart how he terrorizes them but when we confronted him lovingly he blew up and wouldnt let us see the other babies for 2 months. Sooooo here we are and he is at it again. His ex says he hasnt filed taxes for over 10 years because he was involved in a lawsuit in another town that a man died in and two others went to jail but he fled. He has put our daughters name on a 9 million dollar office bulding claiming he did it for her but we know real estate and have been in the business for over 30 years and are certain that he will not be able to keep it rented and he is such a jerk that he has run off most of the tenants so it will be on our daughters shoulders. He has no credit and charges 1000's of dollars in expensive dinners, vacations, sporting events and I mean ridiculous like every night dinners of 2, to 5 thousand dollars and going to baseball games every week sitting behind the dug out to show off spending sometimes 4 and 5 thousand dollars PER GAME . We just want our daughter to be safe and want to see our grandchildren. He scared us so bad because he was tailing us and knew what and where we were so we went to the police a couple of weeks ago and they said go to the FBI so we did. Not sure what to do now but IF there is a way that he can be saved and repent that is of course our first choice but he is PURE EVIL and I believe sold his soul to the devil for money with the knights of malta group. I would ask that if you have any suggestions on how we may handle this to contact me. We are seeing a psychologist that we went to before when my husband and I had some problems and he also saw my daughter and son in law right before they got married because he kicked her out of his house 2 weeks before the wedding (that we spent $70k on because we thought his family was so high and mighty that they would want us too for their rich friends) but anyway they went ahead and did get married and we later found out that this Dr. actually knew he was a sociopath the first time he met him but couldnt say anything to us because of privacy laws. He is a smart Dr. but not a Christian. He sees NO HOPE for him or my daughter and says RUN don't walk and says my daughters life could be in danger that this type of guy could and would kill if exposed.But I know the power of God is mightier than anything and want to do what the Lord would have us do. I don't want to jump in and do someting that will make it work but he is spreading lies about us that are horrible and continues to abuse his kids and lie to his wife about where he goes at night when he is supposidly "working late". I guess holding meetings at Strip bars is the "Soprano" way they do things in the Italian Catholic fantasy world but doesnt seem real honest to lie to his wife.
- September 23, 2015 at 4:31 am
hi White Dove, my story is a bit different. Really need to tell my story, but dont want it displayed on your website for all to see.
- July 5, 2015 at 12:23 am
I am dying inside and have self sabotaged myself. I gave birth to nine beautiful children and why do I still love my ex husband? The judge who actually was a judge for murder cases in Atlanta said that he was the worst socio path. But I feel like he has won/ I have never dealt with the pain, humiliation and guilt from our marriage. I had full custody for all of the children but I have failed miserably.
- July 4, 2015 at 3:04 pm
I came here looking for solace as I am going through custody battle with my ex. I have been victimized and broken not only by him but through the courts. I continue to fight and am in trial at this time. Smear campaign and past has been used by ex. I have refused to settle and will have my story told. During this time I have shut down and sadly have lost my faith at times. Through coming to this site it has brough me some comfort and restored my faith even though some days are really rough. Thank you for sharing your story and the others that are here. In my darkest times and when I feel like I am just going to crumble those scriptures help me to survive and come out and renew my strength
- April 28, 2015 at 12:04 pm
Hello there.
I need urgent help, i feel like i am going insane.. Am i really crazy? Sorry for long post and crappy english.
It has been 6 months sine my first-girlfriend left me.As i still loved her i searched to her hreat to see if she still loves me back but what i found it's disturbing.I now know that she left me for my "best-friend" from childhood which happens to be an sociopath,emotional manipulator…
I just found out recently that she is togheter with him. I suspected them a few months ago and confronted them.THey both denied it and told me they are just friends,even though my gut was telling me something is not right i did not listened to it(big mistake).I tried talking to her privately and expose his lies and deceit but she wouldn't believe me and she was defending him.It's like he is a saint in her eyes.The manipulation and deceit is too strong.He deceived/lied even myself whom i know him for 18 years.
I won't go further into details but one night when i was walking outside, i went to a place where i used to meet with her and i've found them making out.They did not saw me but i saw everything, how good she was treating him and the kisses…?! YUCK! His influence affecter her on every negative aspect in her life(she started drinking,smoking,swearing) It's like she is under a deceit spell, and he seems like he is being possesed.I couldn't endure much more what my eyes we're seeing and i went home.
For so many months they are lying to me that everything is ok and behind my back they are ***** X(. I even apologised to him with teary eyes for wrongfully accusing him ( now i see that i was right) . If you could have seen the lack of remorse in his eyes,no guilt,no emotion,no apology. He still plays the victim game and makes me feel guilty.
Since that "stalking" event i have started having panic attacks again and i can actually feel my heart beating in my chest.I have started over-thinking and i believe i hited depression again.. A few times i thought she was an sociopath manipulator like him but i have noticed that she feels guilty and behaves strangely everytime we meet.I was wondering why she feels so guilty and hates herself and has such an low self-esteem , i mean you don't feel like that after you dump someone! BUT after i saw that scene i now know that she feels guilty because she is seeing him secretly and i do not know about it.Can't possibly imagine through what this girl is going right now..
I believe she is so caught in his web of lies and manipulated that he made me look at the bad guy and that is why she is lying to me about this "affair" and is defending him if i say anything bad about him.
I prayed to GOD so much for guidance,for hope,reconciliation and to take away this sorrow from me,this unbearable pain of betrayal.Without exageratting i admit my life has become an living nightmare.The girl which i thought of as my soulmate is trapped into the chains of deceit of an sociopath demonic-like man who i thought of as my friend/brother.I still love her so much… and she is in HIS ARMS… she is loving an fake person she is not the same anymore.. no happiness,no real purpose,no hope. SHe is not even an shadow of her former self,she started doing things which she always hated, she is starting to become someone else.
Oh how i would've protected her from him if i would've knew this earlier… I can't believe how blind i was to trust such an man… I see them passing by my house from time to time and i am utterly useless,i know who is the liar.. who is the lied one.. AND I CANNOT DO ANYTHING! i am invisible.. the girl that loved me so much let's this "devil" control her… She is an atheist now, she wasn't like that when i met her though.
A few nights ago i had a dream: I saw her or him i am not certain which one of em and behind their back there was like a shadowy demonic face laughing so devilishly and ironically that itmade me angry and in the background i kept hearing this verse : "Matthew 17:21 Howbeit this lineage of demons does not go out but by prayer and fasting." I do not know what kind of dream is this.. I tend to believe it is from GOD HIMSELF.Maybe is an answer to my unending prayers and tears…I am wondering now if he or she is possesed and if the demon will be casted out if i start serious praying and fasting, but i feel weak especially after all the articles i've read online talking about sociopaths being impossible to change.
But if by any chance this dream is an answer from GOD and an step towards getting my sweet lover back then i will gladly do it and sacrifice myself just so she can escape from the lies and deceit.I know for sure she can be saved but i do not know what to believe about him,If he is indeed possesed by demon/s can my fasting & praying save him too?
I admit i feel repulsion and fury against him and i am disgusted but.. all these bad feelings would burn away if he would repent and ask for forgiveness and end this "sharade" but considering how many times i cried before him and told him to leave her alone so she can come back to me, his lack of emapthy of emotions totally shocked me and i sinceresly do not know if there is any hope for this kind of man..
I remember how she told me i was an angel from God sent in her life to save her,how she was gratefull for how i was helping her to change her bad habbits and making her become an better loving person, how she hated what she was in the past and never wanted to return there again. How happy she was since i entered her life,and everyone saw that… AND NOW? She is far worse than when i had met her.. she is unrecognizable
I beg you Sarah.. if there is any advice any insight you could give me upon this issue i would be very happy and eternally gratefull 🙂 I feel like i am close to losing my minds,like nobody believes me that he's a an deceptive liar and noone understands me why i still love her.. BUT HOW CAN I NOT? … it's like everything it's against me,and GOD is not doing anything to help me? Actually he does.. he is my rock my everything and surely he works but i don't see it yet.
- March 29, 2015 at 9:14 pm
how do i mail you?
- March 25, 2015 at 2:52 pm
I am disturbed that you say we are one with new agers etc. I was there before being a Christian. I don't believe Scripture tells us this at all. Please explain. Scripture says we are born again, aliens, one in the spirit. When we are born as babies we are children of the devil. Thank you. Do you have any suggestions re counselors in Oregon? Thank you.
- March 16, 2015 at 8:48 pm
Hi, can you send me an email? I want to ask you a question but I cannot get to your email by clicking on the link. Thank you.
- December 29, 2014 at 7:56 pm
I thank God for your website. Is been so helpful for me the way that God reveals Himself to you in differents way beside His word. I was married to a psycopath for 4 years. Like most of us who had a pathological relationship with them I ignored the red flags and God's warnings. I met him at church and thought he was a christian. Before him, I was married for 30 years with my first husband, a selfish narcissist too, but not at that level. With a christian counselor help, for 3 years during that marriage, I could came out of the fog and separate and finally divorce Him. I am been christian for many years, but I didn't realize that I lived almost all my life surviving due a lot of traumas, child abuse and parents abandoment. Thru this relationship with my ex narcissist husband, my eyes got wide open and I could see what door I had oppen that attracted the narcissist to me and me to him. Like the other testimonies, I lived thru hel,l and the shame and guilt that I was already carrying since my childhood became big and deep. I divorced my ex husband in may of this year. I moved out of state close to my children already married. I left my job, my appartment, my church, my friends, everything just in this move. I hate the place that I live now. That is making me more depressed, making harder my healing process. I want to go back to the town I was living, but I am so fearful that God doesn't let me move back. I always struggle with my will versus God will in my life. I use the facebook to vent my thoughts and feelings and the pastor's wife of one of the churches I was attending reply a comment and the way she did is obvious they don't know or understand what victims of psycopath or narcissist go thru, much less how to help. I looked for help in churches already and with psychiatrics, but finally I understood that there is no better counselor and psychiatric than God. I am still missing the good of my ex husband, but God is telling me that I have to see his true color and the demonds that are operating behind them. Any advice would be appreciate. God Bless!!!
- December 18, 2014 at 9:45 am
It is wonderful to find a forum of others with similar experiences. Lately, I have begun to understand just how many have trudged this road before me. At the point I realized I was broken (had a crushed spirit) I began to look for answers – I needed to find understanding and the truth. Then, when I read that the psychiatry field had no idea how to reform a sociopath, I turned to my Bible. Only there did I read the Truth and find the Understanding that I needed to began to repair my heavily damaged heart, soul and mind. I was thrilled to read of your thoughts regarding the Parable of the Wheat and the Tares and how I can apply that to my continuous recovery effforts. Thank you for everything you share here!
- December 10, 2014 at 7:18 am
Hi White Dove I'm only 19 years old but I've had the misfortune of being stuck in the trap of a sociopath. We started dating in January, and he had this obsession with me that away just so sick. But at the time, I took it as compliment and ate up all of his love and attention. The beginning of my story with him is the same as all the others; starting out as a fairy tale with a man that seems too good to be true. I saw the red flags and neglected them because I just wanted to be happy. But after the 3 month mark of our relationship I saw that something about him was truly not normal. I went to the emergency room last March and instead of coming to pick me up to make me feel better, he left me there. He refused to pick me up because "I didn't take care of myself and it's my fault that I'm sick", he believed he shouldn't have had to go out of his way to help me…so he didn't. I broke up with him and he tore me apart with verbal abuse telling me I'm replaceable and I am nothing. Then came the begging and pleading for forgiveness. Over time I forgave him because I was naive and weak. He snaked his way back into my life and everything took a turn for the worst. He had sex with me against my will one too many times, slapped me so hard he left welts on my skin and one day when I fought back and slapped him first he turned me onto my stomach and violently smacked my back side saying "don't ever hit me, I will hit you back". No remorse for his actions. Every time I looked at him with eyes full of tears he would stare back blankly, he never once said sorry and he flat out made me feel stupid and weak for shedding tears.
Then, summer came and I began seeing someone else behind his back because I was so miserable. I ended up leaving him for my new current boyfriend who is normal and happy in love with me. My sociopath could not stand it. He went to a community college and I was at a university nearby. He followed me and transferred to my school and moved into an apartment complex 2 minutes down the road from me. All of this happening after I broke up with him, by the way. He parked in front of my house every single day for two months and took my bus route to campus. He even waited outside of one of my classrooms just because he wanted to play mind games with me and let me know I can't get rid of him that easily. Eventually I confronted him to leave me alone and let me be happy. He snapped. He posted personal intimate photos of me onto social media AND sent them in messages to our other friends. He erased them on the condition that I "stop being mean to him and accusing him of stalking me when he isn't doing anything wrong". The horror is still going on to this day and my current boyfriend and I are afraid. My sociopath still has photos of me which he uses to blackmail me into being his friend and staying in contact with him. This is all in order to drive my current boyfriend away from me. I've tried to find a way to delete the pictures but it's impossible, all of his things are password protected. Every day I go to school living in fear of where he will appear next. He has harassed psychologically and strategically so that there is no hard evidence that can be use against him in a court of law. I know because I tried and failed to get a restraining order against him. My question in the end of this…when will this end? Is there any hope for me to get him out of my life and how can I do so? He is relentlessly trying to ruin me and all that is precious to me.
- December 10, 2014 at 7:22 am
Sorry, made a few typos in there sending this from my phone but you get the gist.
- December 10, 2014 at 7:26 am
I also have forgotten an important detail. The last time I tried to delete the pictures of me he took a keychain from me which has a photo of my current boyfriend and I. And he lit it on fire. He is dangerous if he gets too angry and I am afraid to act on anything because it adds fuel to the Fire.
- November 11, 2014 at 1:40 pm
Hi, White Dove
I have been writing comments on the blog, as I get fired up, to let this out. It is working, I am doing that, but they may be going to an area where it is for comments, other than story chapters. I can write them in email form, to you, and I went to send an email, and it would not open. Let me know if it is better to just comment, or send it email, or really, what does it matter? Anyway, I am truly glad and blessed to have found you all. I am feeling better facing this on virtual paper. I am not worrying if it is organized, but I am teachable. I commented in the middle of the blog today, and the dates are not in order , but they are where you placed my first post. Let me know how, and when to tweek what I need to. Love to you all, Miriam
- November 7, 2014 at 9:23 pm
Dear White Dove,
Thank you for this website. I've read only a few stories, one of which was your experiences. You got behind his wall and YES, like you, I believe they have hearts that are capable of feeling every emotion. It IS a combination of factors for sociopaths to act as they do. Do believe there are different degrees depending on the persons' circumstances. Wholeheartely believe demons can and will possess humans and also believe this very vial condition can be handed down from generations. I have LIVED this first handed….
My story began approximately three years ago when I, a single Mom with young adult children was asked by a "friend" to be a pen pal to a Federal prisioner. She knew exactly how to approach me and I (being very naive to a fault regarding sociopaths) agreed. Afterall, this guy was in another state, never EVER thought we'd be more than writing friends but just like every story….I was charmed. I was being manipulated from the very first letter. See, from my (now ex-friend) who coordinated this pen-palship, she told him a little about me. The "sweetest person ever." She told him I was married for years & ex was lazy & took advantange of my goodness. That I was briefly engaged & that ended with the guy trying to take what money I had. She told him point blank that she would personally "kill" him should he not do anything but treat me with the goodness & respect I deserved. His reply was simply, "I will be the perfect gentleman." He was! His letters from the start indicated that he was not even "in" under his correct name…that was very important as he was falsely imprisoned. He quickly wrote two of three letters with one to include a few pictures. I was a VERY happy & full of zest for life. For eight years prior, I decided that I would make my children, my home, my job the best I could be for them. I wanted to put myself on a shelf persey for GOD. I did! I did it well at that. It's not that I didn't want a relationship but just needed and wanted to find my spiritual way with increasing my wisdom to be for GOD. I needed this time to find what he wanted me to do for HIM. Knowing all along that my children needed me most. During this time, it was my oldest son that I conversed "relationships" most. We'd talk about just about everything and all the years he would know me to say, "If God wants me to be with someone HE will make it happen." My son always agreed. He is a fine…NO the finest and most humble Christian I know.
The ex-friend told me she had a "vision" that it was "ME" that was to be this prisoner's pen-pal. I had known her 15 years at this point. She has a tender heart but was domineering a lot. She would get these "visions" of such from time to time so when she told me about vision of me being this guy's pen pal, I believed her. For it was just a few nights before that I was having personal time with God. I said, "God, if you are ready…I am ready for a relationship." The letters came. Three and pictures. I briefly read them and put them aside. The pictures, I remember like yesterday…looking at them quickly but not really impressed other than he was tall. Intelligence and tall are my first attractions for the opposite sex. I did not respond to any three of his letters. Again, single Mom. I was very busy plus I had several sets of company to come from out of town. The last being my best friend and her husband. They only stayed one night but that night was glorious. We had a beautiful dinner, dessert. My children loved having them . They were my family. WE were their family. Well, all of a sudden the conversation turned to me and how they all said I needed to date. Needed a man in my life. The only supportive one was my son. He did say, "Mom always knows that if God wants her with a man, he will bring them together." Otherwise I never would do online dating. There just wasn't anyone that I met at the store, library, park, beach, etc. that interested me. It was a long conversation but little did they all know…I had already talked to God about this. It was after numerous phone calls from the "match-maker" asking "gently" if I have written to saying, HE..the prisioner wants to know why I've not written. Well, I first sent a little card. Just basicailly "HI" my name, age and children. Busy with them, work, home. That Saturday, fianlly was alone & got out all three letters. I read them intently. This guy was SUPER postive (for being in prision so long) He was extremely well written and intelligent. He was FUN! He told me that he was framed, that he was put in under wrong information. He told me so sweetly he had a daughter but didn't know about her until after his incarceration. He said no contact with his Mom. His dad would visit two times a year. He was gentle in telling me that HE was the good one of the family. He did so very convincingly. Now remember, I was happy & a very freindly person. There was no reason for me not to believe him. I wrote him 11 pg letter. Remembering my friend said it is fun and can be very theraputic writing. No pretenses and these guys can get lonely. She said from what she knew (her boyfriend was in his prision) that he was very intelligent especially with law. Well liked by all and no girlfriends or visitors. This guy wanted a pen pal because he was close to being released & wanted to know the outside world as it is. To just have a friend. What harm, right? Well, will say again, this dude wrote and wrote and wrote. We'd write many letters a week. He got to know me and well and I he. Within four months, I planned to visit him. I was excited and he was. The domineering ex-friend found out and insisted she go, too. I protested a bit because this was all new and wanted to do on my own. At least the first time. She insited and figured it would be ok. Before my first visit, he was calling me his best friend. Godsent. The nicest person and compared me to the only other good person in his life, his deceased grandmother. When I got there, was told he'd be extremely nervous ESPECIALLY not seeing a girl and hugging one for over 8 years. So, his initial meeting, well, I just thought he was nervous. He was the only prisioner who did not smile as he came out. His palms were with sweaty napkin. We hugged. No kiss. We talked and talked but the entire time, he was looking dead in my eyes yet he was looking around A LOT. I do not mean to brag but I have guys all my years googling at me. That is another reason for my being on the shelf for so long. I only wanted real for me. To be wanted for insides…my brain, my heart, soul and spirit. Was a little taken back by his lack of attention but yet some of the other prisioners commented to me…Anyway, we had talked about chemistry. Told him (because he asked) that if chemistry was not there..then I just could not form an"intimate" relationship. First day was a short visit. Was told by the girls that he'd call and he did A LOT that night. He wanted to know first off …did I feel chemistry. I did. Very much so. The next two days were nice. Friendly and nice. I think he kissed me. Was just being my happy self & thought we hit it off. It was not until a few days after we got home that my ex-friend called saying my guy was MAD because she went. He had told other inmates that he did not want us girls to hang & never wanted that other girl to go to visit when I did. I confronted him & he denied & seemed to be in shock. He just said all he wanted to know is did I want to live open relationship lifestyle like this ex-friend and her boyfriend. Told him NEVER. Never would judge but that is not me. So, the writings and phone calls were all the time. This guy wrote me the most amazing letters and would say the most amazing things. YET…on calls he'd get angry & almost like damn me for being a happy girl. I DO NOT NOT NOT like drama or confrontations. So, the first few times he'd get angry at me, he'd quickly retort by telling me GOD made us for each other. Then, his pattern of loving then manipulate had begun. I was in the web. As he said, "WE ARE INEXTICABLY INTERtWINED". He came up with a cute nick name for me. He'd send me 'gifts' from prison. Then, he'd make me cry by accusing me of untruths. He'd always rage then immediately beg for forgivness. He'd blame everyone except himself. He'd make me feel so sorry for him then he'd show me wisdom. He talked God a lot. Soon, it was next visit. OMG! WHY I went or even communicated after that time is beyond me. Satan had somewhat power. The time, expense and arrangements to see him were out-the-roof but I did it and then for the first few minutes regreted then he'd pull me back in. Looking back, he was SUPERIOR at this con job. After we'd write and he'd rage and make me cry & justify my every move. He manipulated. When I told him that maybe WE were too much & I'd back off…he'd manipulate with the "I LOVE YOU" card. One time in particular, he got me so upset that I was seeing my zest gone. I did not write for an entire day. He then wrote the most heart wrenching email ever. He pledded to not leave him. He said God made us for each other..that I was EVERYTHING to him. He was in love…soul mate…" he went on and on. I cried and wrote back that I'd always and have been for him. Then the money. Oh!!!! He smoozed his way to take thousands….YES! Thousands. I did without. I sold gold. I mowed lawns. Then he said I told him I'd take care of him. NO! I told him to stop selling illegal substances in prison..that if he was that bad I could help. I was on outside and had more resorces. My thing is I loved him and did not want him to get more time or solidary confinment. He was running a store. He could have gotten more years. He cried the blues that his father would not come through. He'd call in a panic that he owed. It was horrible. The guy had this all calculated and planned. He finally got out. His promises of US being together. He always said he'd have to see his father first. Sometimes he'd say, just a few days. It was always US. Babies, marriage was mentioned many times by HIM. Towards the end of his time, he did get distant yet kept me close enough…saying it's the effects of prison. Please be patient. He'd come here. He did…for a visit. . He hurt me when we were physical. He said it's not me that it's all the years in prison. He claimed to never had sex with men. It was a nice visit but the sex made me think something is not right. BUT he'd tell me he loves me so much. Whats his is mine. He was rough with me yet looked me in my soul saying how he loves me. So, I thought it was all prison. He did HAVE to go to his fathers. We were not married or related. Just for a time. His home is worse than a nut house. Before he came he'd call me at all hours and I'd hear his father raging. RAGING. Another ploy make me feel sorry for him. I was distraught and offered to do anything to get him out of there and here. I spend more and more money on him. He said they'd even take the toilet paper. He could not find a job. He needed to wait til he came here then really pursue. I was one the phone many hours while he took public transportation to try to find jobs. Even stuck my neck out by making calls within my company to see if we could get him on in his state. When he was here, he was "the man of the house". It was natural to him. My puppy was in complete control with him. My daughter tried to like him. She did act up once & that was big deal but the way he talked to her and handled it was amazing. The day he left, I tried not to cry…did not know when we could see one another again. He told me he loved me and I him. I cried but RED FLAG…he did not hug me. He did not consol me. He just lay on the bed and then turned over. When I say his face, he was crying. I told him he completed us. Afterall, we talked of all this before. It was at the airport I felt in my gut something was wrong. He did not seem happy to take pictures. He did not want us to walk to the gate (I have special clearance)…he used my daughter as excuse. Saying she's being a teen, just drop him off. Now mind you, stupid me had prior paid hundreds of dollars for his past tickets. Paid for his lisc. and bought transportation for him. He convinced me it was all for US. Red flag was when it took days for him to send me vacation pictures. He took my computer to use to tune up his motorcyle. He was distant. Then, all these years he had said his father hated me…For what? I once had his record looked up. He had sent me all legal work through the years. He always ALWAYS said NO SECRETS. He always called himself, smart, humble, good-looking (he was just ok) he bragged and talked as he was the greatest just that he was framed. He said his memory was photographic. Yet he neglected to tell me of the one sealed file that was opened for me. It was stupid about a girl coming onto him…then when he did her finance' walked up so she claimed he attacked her. She WAS lying and the docs proved it. BUT for that he neglected to tell me…yet he said all the years he told me everything. His father was mad at me for that?! I questioned. He did not like. He played his father and myself against one aother while keeping us separated. He did let me talk to his sister but once and since he's made excuses. He would twist things so bad. Things that he was actually doing he accused me. Yes! I did buck up to him but up until after he left my home, he'd make the wrongs seem right. It was after he left that many things were red flags. He'd never say he loved me. I mentioned that, he got angry & said we're too far into to "have" to say it. By this point, he had bamboozled thousands from me and now he was shattering my heart. Woke one Sunday to his face on a facebook pg. under another name. I had a friend call me about that saying "your boyfriend under another name?" The one friend was a girl! Well, I phoned him. Up to this point, he'd always answer. He was the one that would call me insane times…not giving regard of my work or dr's appt or massage, etc. So this day, I called him 26 times. NO ans. It was not until late did he answer and he yelled at me. He was in front of his father while doing so. I blasted him. He said he set up to play games on the computer. Too many lies and his awful actions, no love from him. Finally, I consulted a psychic. She is well known & I told her nothing. She blew my mind. She said he had other girls he did same while in prison. She said at one point he did love me as much as he was capable but he was a liar and cheat and that is how I learn the word SOCIOPATH. I knew he was living in a nut house with his father. BUT what she told me made me sick. She said his father beat him from child on. That that father had sex with the son and she told me these two are still having sex!!!! She said both are the worst & vial humans. I got my strength to ask her to tell me about the sex part. She said he did have sex with men in prison…that he HATES women but is bi-sexual. She said she thinks his father is with possibly aids. She told me this guy is the salesman of all. That he is stuck on himself and NEVER sees that he does wrong. She said so much that I just about had a breakdown. I immediately called him. I was like he had been to me many times. I said so much but all he could say is "give it time" "let me heal" "I love you" HE NEVER DENIED THOUGH. He called me the next day & was casual. Don't remember anything else about the call except I asked him to return my computer. For days after I asked him to return my computer. It was brand new. He was to set it up. It was the only recovery of any damage I could get back. My daughter needed for school. He finally sent back & of course charged me the FedEx. He thought he cleared it but did not all the way. He had been looking up smut pictures and girls. Russian brides. This was all too much. It was revolting. I fell deeply in love long prior to all of this. My heart was een more ripped. I texted him I told him he was vial & of the devil. Especially since he told me GODSENT and he KNEW and LIVED God's word. Where he used to tell me he loved me inextricably intertwined … he hurt me through eterny. It was I that continued to text my heart…not really knowing they don't care…but I said my peace and for days. A few weeks. He never replied. I told him he had to pay me back my money that he stole. I told him Book of life. He never responded. Different for a sciopath, right? Well, the only time he responded was when I told him I'd tell the CEO of the company. He called me and could barley talk with his mumbled words…he said he'd pay me when he got his "false imprisioned" money. I told him now!!! ONLY MY MONEY. That I used to believe him and believe in him when no one else did. Told him that I was there for him in the three years more than ANYONE his entire life. He didn't respond. I went to attys and to Dist state atty. They ALL said civil case and I'd win. The dist state atty told me this…"He will stand before GOD and GOD will spit on his unmoralistic ways…." He said too, "HE WILL GO BACK TO PRISION WHERE HE BELONGS…and when he does, the Feds make them work & he gets paid a tiny amount…that money will be garnished to you…" So, after a time of praying getting the nerve to call his "good" brother and his Mother. My ears were even in more shock. This beast I was involved has never had morals or values. His is the rot of all rot besides his mentally sick father. I am dealing with the fact of trying to get my entire being to the happy and zestful and God fearing woman I was. I refuse to let Satan take anything more. I have no family except a stepMother and my children. My best friend is staying away because her husband who has "connections" found out how vial this guy is….they warned me long ago to get away from him but I did not see it was so bad. They are hurt I did not listen to them. They do not want to be associated as he is capable of anything wrong. I sit here stronger yet totally untrusting of anyone. Yet I know that there is love and that is what God wants of us. He knows I know this. The very last time I tried calling him, he acted like an elementary bully child and pretended he could not hear me. He works with his father. His father controls him. He likes this because it's attention. Negative but attention at that. It's sick. He did not leave me as destitute as he thinks. His camera downloads are still hooked up to my computer and today nake pics of him. I have to get this stuff off somehow. Your story, your Bible verses have helped but I pray to God to erase all memories. WHY did he come to me? I was fine…so fine without him. It's only been three years compared to all the yrs of tourment you went through. So many others who were married and children of these monsters. My faith! I LOVE God and have to know these people have to take accountability. We have to have LAWS of these cons and frauds. I could go through the legal system but I was told … they would have me killed. NOT FAIR but I remain ever strong in faith to be able to live whole again. See, like you, I got behind his wall. I found out what my gut and dreams were telling me. He, I don't think will contact me because he was in prison for 11 years. He KNOWS how to get others and already has. He lives in another state & even is having some kind of contact with his last girl…the one he always talked PUT HIM IN THERE AND SHREDDED HIS HEART. It's the most insane thing ever and again WHY DID I HAVE TO GET INVOLVED???? Was it the devil that actually brought us together?
The ultimate is between Satan and God and Satan must know that GOD IS SUPREME.
- October 22, 2014 at 12:07 pm
Hi, White Dove
I feel that I am almost over the people and events in my life, and then something will happen to trigger a feeling of the rug being pulled out from under me, and I go into a tailspin, and loose my footing for a bit. This time it was health reasons, a bout with gallbladder, and poisoning from cooking my own chipotle type food and kidney beans and lentils, and I also heard the last person which was one of the worst, that I was damaged from, was now in contact with one of my friends, and I thought I had it all together. I think, had I not been ill, maybe it would have been not a big deal, or maybe it would have been, and still is, mind you. I snapped at a rude office gal, on the phone, not terribly, but actually felt and still do think, I was in the right, and know I was, but was surprised that I did it. She was rude, not listening, and accusatory. She had no facts, and was way off base. I told her, no, that is not the way it is. I got your email and thanks for the offer for an hour. And believe it or not, it has been two days, that I have not showered, some of it is health, some that I don't worry about petty things as much, and some, I can't figure out why I still don't know how the people that are so ill are wired enough to know how to not let them bother me, and to respond when I obviously will have to, in life, because they are around. I use to say nothing, now, I want to do something, just not sure how to still be me, and be informed, I call it a very low tolerance to stupid, for me, my life, and stupid in general, but it almost , to me, makes me seem like I am still trying to figure out them, if I learn how to deal with them, as control is a big issue of theirs, and I have been around or involved with those types forever. If I could get it down, just to a basic thought pattern, like I had, until I got so sick, a few days ago, and then heard about that last guy, which why the worst was the last, I don't know, that I met, before I found any information, is something, as well. I am sure it was meant to be, but today, is a mixed up day. I would love to talk to you, on the phone, skype, I don't know how to do. I had made up my mind that the only thing about them was that there was nothing that is consistent, and just to avoid them, and then I found out the last guy was over at my friends house, after months of him being away from visiting them, it is her husbands brother, and now I feel like I don't want to talk to her as much, and she is not the problem, and then I put the lady in her place on the phone, and she was disrespectful, and I usually don't say, no , that is not it, you are wrong, but I did. I can take notes, when you have time, but I feel so anxious, and tired, and maybe still getting well, from the food poisoning, but I was ok, til I heard he was back and the food poisoning, but I am stuck in my house as my son is using my car. I made up my mind to take a class, get organized, and cannot understand how one guy was so damaging, and probably purpously, or not, whatever, but also so many from the past, and I was just frozen, for so long. I could take a valium, and may, but I want to get back to being not nervous, upset, I am sure I am well, but why now, when I was over the most of it, did the thoughts of that man, bring all the rush of the waves over me, again, temporarily. My phone number , I can give you, or my email is above, feel free to write, i need your help, when you have time. these people, so many of them drawn to me like steel to a magnet, all my life, am sick of dealing with them, males, and females, but know I am so strong now, and will make it. Let me know what to read at this point, or if you can chat, thanks mary
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text:
April 2010
Info & Events
Details of the March Meeting
Another meeting, another new member. This is a trend I could get
used to. Ryan is our newest member and was introduced to the club
by Joel.
We will have more details on our new member in the next newsletter
but until then we welcome you to the club Ryan and look forward
to getting to know you better in the coming months. I hope that
leg is healing fast.
We were also contacted by another prospective new member Todd,
who is both a Sherlock Holmes fan and pipe smoker and hails from
Medford, MA. We hope you'll be able to join us at the April meeting
Aside from our new member the March meeting was pretty much,
business as usual, which means we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves
with plenty of good conversation enkindled by many bowlfuls of
our favorite leaf.
The New York Pipe Show ..................by
Rick Frederics
The March New York Pipe Show has come and gone but some fond memories
will stand out in my mind for a long time. Like all other shows
it is always a good time because it is a time to once again see
old friends from the pipe smoking world – Steve Monjure,
Joe Skoda, Dan Seatter from James Island Piper, Jay and Louise
from Hermit Tobaccos and Andy Camire and Dock Perry from the SHPC
were also there. And of course it was another show where new acquaintances
were made. But what made this show special was that one of our
very own SHPC members, Tim Hynick, who I had the pleasure of traveling
to the show with, sold seven pipes, and his table was continuously
busy with people commenting on his exquisite craftsmanship. Of
course our club knows what a good pipe maker he is. Now there
are several others who also share our feelings and I have no doubt
that Tim's reputation as a maker of great smoking pipes
will continue to grow even more. Congratulations Tim.
The Glamour and Lure of Smoking
The month of August brought on the annual trip to Boston and Raymond's
department store for school clothing. Dad and I would take the
train from Waltham before lunch and walk from North Station. This
particular trip gave me a new insight to the world. We stopped
at David P Ehrlich's where a man sat in the window at a strange
wood lathe making white pipes. My questions prompted dad to explain
Meerschaum and its merits. I watched for several minutes and then
we entered. The clerks all had very large pipes going and the
odor of DPE filled the store. At twelve years old the shop was
a majestic palace with all the mahogany and glass and the goods
so neatly displayed. That entrance into a truly man's world is
something I will never forget.
Despite my mother's constant reminders about cigarettes being
"coffin nails" and hearing her chant some ancient ditty
"Cigarettes must go, go-go-go –
"Schoolboys, schoolboys say - say so"
I did succumb to the evil weed at fourteen years.
& Tobacco News & Info
Possibly Some Hopeful News about the Proposed Tax
on Pipe Tobacco
This letter was received by Ernie Whitnack from Congressman
Barney Frank. Let's hope there's some truth in it.
"Dear Friend,
Thank you for contacting me in opposition to the Tobacco
Tax Parity Act. I completely agree with you and feel this
proposal is very excessive. I will not support it and I furthermore
think it's unlikely that it will come up for a vote on the
floor of the House."
Barney Frank
Sillem's Copenhagen Tobacco (50g Tin)
Perique, burley and Virginias make this a rich blend with
a hint of spice. Mild to medium in strength.
Cornell & Diehl Tin – After Hours Flake
(2 oz. tin)
A night out wasn't complete without a trip to the "private
club" for a Cuba Libre or two. Round out your evening
or any other time of day with this Virginia flake sweetened
with the elixir of the Islands, Dark rum.
Quote for the Month
"Anyone in a free society where the
laws are unjust has an obligation to break the law."
David Thoreau
3rd Great Northeast Pipe Show, Albany, NY - November 13,
Hi everyone,
I've got some great news for pipe smokers and vendors from
the Northeastern part of the US. Habana Premium Smoke Shoppe (and
in cooperation with the Capital District Pipe Club will be presenting
our 3rd Great Northeast Pipe Show on Saturday, November 13 here
in Albany, NY. Details about location and admission fee will be
upcoming. We will have raffles, a wine tasting and lots of new and
estate pipes. We are also looking for vendors to give our patrons
the widest possible selection of pipes, tobaccos and accessories.
We're going to put a lot of effort into making this a great
experience for both the attendees and the vendors, so please contact
me with any thoughts or concerns. We think that our location will
make for a terrific show for all concerned as we are about equidistant
from both NYC and Boston, and are easily accessible from Rochester,
Syracuse, Hartford, Montreal and Buffalo. We will have special room
rates available, and we will have surprises for anyone attending.
If you are an interested vendor, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.com,
and I will answer your questions and supply
pertinent details. If you're thinking of attending, go to
or www.capitaldistrictpipeclub.com
for updates
We sincerely hope to see you or hear from you.
Russ Ouellette
New Your Pipe Show: March 2010..........................
by Dock Perry
met up with friend and fellow SHPC and Brother of Briar (BoB) member
Andy Camire at Rein's Deli in Vernon Ct. on the Friday morning before
the show. After breakfast we proceeded down to the Wyndham. For
once there was plenty of parking there and the rains had yet to
begin their assault on New Jersey. We checked in and were overjoyed
to find that our reservations had indeed been kept and that we were
able to get rooms early. We were off to an excellent start!
After chilling out a bit I headed down to Andy's room. He's been
settling the estate of Don Powers who had 400-500 pipes in his collection.
Two really caught my eye. One was a flawless cross grained Larsen
Select and the other a Larsen Pearl with very strange boxwood inserts
on the bowl. I'm convinced it was made by Tonni Nielsen sometime
in the 80's. A deal was quickly worked out and I had made my first
purchases of the show. A time later I ran into my buddy Mel Feldman
of The Smoker in Albany, NY. Mel's been liquidating his wares for
retirement and brought with him two foot lockers full of aged tobacco
and about 1,000 high grade pipes. I bought a ton of MacBaren's,
Edgeworth, Dobie's and others from him as well as a super Castello
lovat and a big Mike Frey freehand with exceptional straight grain
for a very good price.
In leaving Mel's I ran into friend and show organizer and good
friend Sammy Barnett. I didn't know it then but this meeting
was to change the course of my show in amazing ways. Sam had brought
with him quite a few pieces for sale and was gracious enough to
give me the first viewing. As he pulled them out of his bag I laid
each on the desk in his room. Several caught my eye including a
nice Jack Howell clam, a Jody Davis blasted lovat, a Premal Chedda
blasted bent poker and a killer Tonni. The one I'd see next nearly
made my head spin. Out of the bag came THE Nanna Ivarsson bent blasted
egg that I've been after forever. The dream pipe! It was love at
first sight I gotta tell you. A deal was QUICKLY worked out for
the Howell, the Davis, the Chedda and the Nanna. From Sam's room
I went next door to see two of my favorite folks in the world Jay
and Louise Jones of Hermit Tobacco in Ohio. It's always nice seeing
them and I really appreciate the fact that they never miss a NY
show. I wish all vendors showed this same loyalty! Jay was kind
enough to bring me a bunch of Dunhill newsletters for my ephemera
[Read the full

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Starting on Monday and continuing right through until Thursday evening, the park was hit with finals fever and, boy, did the teams turn up and play. Out of all 105 teams, there would only be 20 winners, with men's and mixed division finals being played to see who was the best team each night and in each division.
Congratulations to all the teams for winning their respective divisions. To have a look at all the winners, please go to www.in2Touch.co.uk/England
Monday saw Construct Recruitment Men's beat Doggies in division one and Meinhardt had a close game against the Monday Individual Men's, but came out on top. In the mixed divisions, the winners were Construct Recruitment Mixed, Pistonheads – RP and Dynamic Touch.
Tuesday saw the Atlantic 6ers win and so too did London LadyBoys, Evolution FTNP and Love to Dump. On Thursday, we had the Artful Dodgers take the trophy in both the men's and mixed one division. While team EY managed to easily overcome Mixed Allsorts in the second mixed division.
We cannot forget about the die-hard teams and players that unfortunately did not manage to get into a final. Throughout the summer everyone put his or her bodies on the line to turn up each and every week. Albeit to enjoy and play touch with friends, family and colleagues, but without their dedication and enthusiasm to play and continually learn the game of touch, these leagues would not have run as well as they do.
There are also many photos and a few videos that the venue managers have taken. Make sure to take a look at the In2Touch Facebook page to see what you have missed out on.
A BIG WELL DONE to all players, teams, supporters – and especially team organisers – for making this season of O2Touch the biggest one yet.
One final thank you goes to the venue managers and referees, who give up their free time to come down each week. They are there to manage the game and help the newer teams learn the rules and to get up to speed with other teams. Again, without them, these leagues would not run at all. THANK YOU to Steve, Jono, Shannon and George for all your efforts throughout the 2015 O2Touch summer season.
For those team and players that have entered into the Regent's Park September Shootout, have a great weekend and we cannot wait to have you out there playing touch with us again!


text:
It is by now well established and accepted that the judiciary, the press and central banks should be independent from the government. What about statistical agencies? They inform the public about the state of the economy, so why would the government want to fool the public in this regard? We all know about the bogus statistics that former Eastern Block countries were spewing out, but nobody was fooled by that as it was common knowledge they were uninformative.
Facundo Albornoz, Joan Esteban and Paolo Vanin give the example of a situation where the government would want to fool people. Suppose there are distorting income taxes. By revealing wrong information, the government may want to counter the distortion, i.e., add a new distortion. It can increase the labor supply by hiding information in recessions, thus potentially canceling the decrease in the labor supply due to the income tax distortion. That would be precisely the opposite of last Fall when Paulson and Bernanke where claiming everywhere we were on the verge of a Great Depression. This may still happen, but they can be blamed for making it happen, following this theory.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
The case for independent statistical agencies
Posted by Economic Logician at 2:37 PM
Labels: measurement, recessions
2 comments:
- Real Estate in Toronto said...
Very interesting idea and I must agree. Statistical agencies have a huge influence on people along with media. It's the strongest weapon in the war for power so why give it to the government. Thanks for an interesting read.
Take care, Elli
- June 12, 2009 at 5:30 AM
- Nexpider said...
I agree with you the Statical agencies have huge influence on people it is the strong agencies.
- July 16, 2009 at 3:21 AM
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text:
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Masonry is only as good as the person who lays it. Thus from the ancient Incan masons to the fourth century craftsman to Shane Demler Masonry an unwavering dedication to this noble craft and its application will result in only the best building you can desire.


text:
First things first, I won Kaelin's give away from the plaid scottie fame and I couldn't be happier:-D If you have not had a chance to visit her blog I think you really should, she's making a wonderful Rain or Shine Quilt, super cute hexies for her bee, mouth watering pictures of her stash an much much more!
So what did I win, you ask? Meldoy Miller's Ruby Star Rising!!! Woop!!! {can you tell I am excited? lol}
I've also had some more fabrics from my fabric therapy shopping coming in this week. Some lovely Kokka linens I have had my eyes on for a while from Celtic Fusion
I have spent every free minute glued to the couch, english paperpiecing and watching the Gilmore Girls on dvd! I feel a bit silly admitting to it, but there you have it, it's what I've done and I enjoyed it thoroughly :-) .
I was too lazy to take some progress shots even, but I will do soon - promise! It's coming along nicely and I think I have made the right decision in making a 'slow' quilt with my Anna Maria Horner fabrics. It will take me forever to finish!
Have any of you made a full sized handpieced quilt before? How long did it take you?
x Leila
Friday, 28 January 2011
Fab Friday {double latte with whipped cream stash post}
Geplaatst door {Leila}Where the Orchids Grow op 13:38
Labels: fabric, give away, Kokka, linen, Ruby Star Rising
2 comments:
I spent my holiday time off watching a "Bones" marathon on Netflix and sewing/embroidering a quilt top! It's a lovely way to get things done.ReplyDelete
Where, oh where, did you get the fabric with the ViewMaster reels??? I must have some!
Wow. A quilting and Gilmore Girls marathon. Sounds great to me. I'm convinced that watching the Gilmore Girls every morning over a bowl of porridge helped to save my sanity whilst I wrote my Masters dissertation.ReplyDelete
Also congratulations on winning Kaelin's give away :) I look forward to seeing what you make with it.
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text:
(The Sports Xchange) - The Tampa Bay Lightning recalled left winger Jonathan Drouin and defenseman Luke Witkowski from their AHL affiliate in Syracuse on Sunday.
Drouin, the third overall pick in the 2013 draft, was assigned to Syracuse for conditioning Thursday after suffering a minor fracture on his right thumb, causing him to miss the Lightning's training camp. In two games in the AHL, he scored a goal while adding two assists with a plus-4 rating.
Witkowski, a second-year pro, played in all four games this season for Syracuse
- - -
The Boston Bruins assigned forwards Seth Griffith and Ryan Spooner to Providence of the AHL.
Griffith has skated in three games for Boston this season and Spooner in five, bringing him to 32 career NHL games.
- - -
The Vancouver Canucks assigned center Bo Horvat to Utica of the AHL on a conditioning assignment.
Horvat, 19, scored a goal in five preseason game with the Canucks.
Horvat has missed just over two weeks after injuring a shoulder in a preseason game against the Edmonton Oilers on Oct. 2.
- - -
New York Rangers center Chris Mueller made his 2014-15 debut Sunday. The Rangers were without center Derek Stepan (leg) and defenseman Dan Boyle (hand), and both players are not expected back until early November.
- - -
Calgary Flames rookie right wing Josh Jooris, who scored his first-ever NHL goal in his league debut Friday night, was forced to sit out Sunday night against the Jets with an upper-body injury.
Editing by Gene Cherry


text:
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