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What: Cameron bet Wilson he couldn't teach her to swear, and now he's gonna try to collect.
When: Friday
Where: Someplace private. (Coma Guy's room. XD)
Rating: R for LANGUAGE. (Cameron's hot when she swears, says Wilson.)
WILSON: The prospect of earning fifty bucks wasn't unappealing and that's what Wilson told himself he was the most interested in, but the real drawing point of this bet was spending more time with Cameron. He still wasn't sure exactly how well he wanted her to get to know him, but one thing he was certain he wanted to get across to her was the fact that just because House was his best friend and he had a similar sense of humor didn't mean they were all that similar. So far, Cameron had been reacting to him quite often in ways that made it seem like she thought he and House were carbon copies. That had to be fixed.
He found her in the Diagnostics department, sitting at the table with her laptop and working on something. He poked his head in and smiled a bit. "Hi... Are you busy? I thought we could find someplace private to practice swearing."
CAMERON: It wasn't that Cameron was morally opposed to swearing: quite the contrary. It was a nice skill to have, but it was one that she'd never been able to master, despite plenty of beer-soaked nights in med school and a plethora of losing hands in pinochle. Something about the rhythm of the words had never made sense to her, so she'd chosen to perfect her sarcasm instead. With House rattling around in his office like a blind and inebriated grizzly bear, however, it seemed swearing might be a useful skill, if only because certain four letter words were the only ones he understood some days (sadly, "don't" was not among that set). Hence the offer to Wilson. As House's best friend, Cameron assumed he had some experience with her boss's favorite words.
At his entry, she peered over her laptop. "Hey," she replied, smiling a bit in return. "I'm just deleting more spam from House---something about breast enlargement and farm animals this time." She laughed. "So your arrival is actually quite . . . auspicious, let's say."
WILSON: "The farm animal one is probably in my inbox, too," Wilson muttered, shaking his head. "Do you think if I really do buy him the Xbox he asked me for, he'd have something to do and would stop forwarding that stuff?" He doubted it, but thought it might be worth a try anyway. If he got the fifty from Cameron, maybe he'd put that toward the price.
CAMERON: Cameron closed the lid of her laptop with a satisfying click, then ducked under the table for a moment to retrieve her briefcase. "I doubt the Xbox would do it," she mused, pushing the computer and a medical journal into the bag. "I think he's in pain, but I haven't noticed anything ... irregular with the Vicodin. Of course, he's usually shooing me out of the office, so what do I know?" She pushed back her chair and walked over to Wilson. "I don't know." A quick shrug and a half smile. "If I thought any good would come of asking. . . . Where are we going anyway?" she added, after a moment.
WILSON: Wilson's mind drifted to the morphine in House's apartment, but he kept his mouth firmly shut about it. If he told anyone about that, it would be Cuddy. He really ought to. It would piss House off to no end, but in the end it was probably the best course of--
Cameron's question shook him from his thoughts. "I've got someplace in mind. House and I use it to avoid Cuddy. And work in general. Come on, let's go."
CAMERON: "This isn't going to turn into some Through The Looking Glass thing, is it?" Cameron asked with some (genuine) trepidation as she turned off the lights in the lounge. The coffee wasn't made and most of the mugs were dirty, but for now, that was Chase's problem. She tapped on the glass wall of House's office and waved goodbye, then began following Wilson to wherever it was they were going.
WILSON: "Do you have your vorpal sword, just in case?" Wilson asked. He led the way through the hospital, pausing at a nurse's station to inform the nurse in charge of the floor for this shift where he was going and telling her to make sure he wasn't disturbed. He even gave her the instruction to steal House's cane if he tried to get through.
Returning to Cameron's side, he nodded at a door just down the hall. "Here," he murmured, guiding her into the room. He slid the door shut and closed the blinds for privacy and glanced at the man in the bed. "He's in a coma... Who knows, he might be able to hear us. But even if he can, he's not telling anybody about it."
CAMERON: Cameron arched an eyebrow at Wilson's antics with the nurse. This was---unlike him, or at least her image of him: Wilson, white coat flying around him, rushing off to save another patient who'd lost hope. On the other hand, she thought to herself, fifty bucks does change the equation, particularly when there's a divorce in play. She'd overheard House making jokes about alimony payments.
That thought was quickly shoved aside when Cameron saw the room. While Wilson moved about, she stood in the doorway, more than a bit stunned. "Wilson---he's in a coma. This---what if his family comes to visit?" She shook her head and placed her hands on her hips. "You---when I can't find House, you two are here? I realize space is at a premium, but. . . ." This, she thought, the irony almost making her laugh, would be an excellent time to know how to swear.
WILSON: "His family never shows up," Wilson said absently, almost sadly, before shaking himself out of it. "Anyway, if they do, Rebecca will stall them and warn me. Plus, next time you can't find House, you'll have an idea where to look." He gave Cameron his most charming smile, hoping she'd be unable to resist and would give in and unclench.
CAMERON: "Right," Cameron managed, exhaling. One hand was lifted from her hip, and she tucked back a loose piece of hair before fixing her sternest "you are all going to Hell, except I don't believe in Hell, so you should feel ashamed, right now, and change" glare on Wilson. "It's still wrong," she said. "But if I can't find House, then I will check here. I assume you won't be telling the nurses to block me from getting through?" She lifted an eyebrow.
WILSON: Wilson had the grace to look properly ashamed in reply to Cameron's glare, but a smile tugged at one corner of his mouth after a couple of moments. "I can't make any promises, but if you take the stairs that come out on the other end of the hall, you can get to this room without going past the nurse's station..."
CAMERON: "I like your willingness to sell out your best friend for a possible quick fifty," Cameron replied, drawing out the word possible for a full beat. That bit of business dispensed of, she stepped away from the closed door and sat down in one of the chairs, crossing one leg over the other. "So," she said, looking up at Wilson, "where do we begin, O Captain My Captain?" The poetry, she reasoned, was entirely his fault. After all, he'd started it with that damn Dickinson poem, and he should have known better than to try to out-pretension a Swarthmore graduate.
WILSON: "House has plenty of other tactics for hiding from people. He can afford to lose one," Wilson said dismissively. Besides, it wasn't really the money he was selling out for. Not that that made it any better, really.
He took the other chair, sliding it around to face Cameron's, and plopped down. He stretched his legs out in front of himself, crossing them at the ankles in that confident, casual, I-Own-The-World way he sometimes had. "Well, first I guess I have to figure out exactly what the story is. I know you swear a little bit. Why do some words work for you and others don't?"
CAMERON: "'What the story is'?" Cameron repeated, laughing a bit. "It's not dramatic, that's certain." She folded her arms over her stomach. "It's just a skill, isn't it? You have it or you don't. I tell House to 'go to hell' or say 'damnit!' when I'm frustrated and he laughs. I called him a jackass once," she said, lowering her voice as if she were imparting a deep, dark secret like Mommy is an alcoholic or Actually, I'm a lesbian, "after he made another one of his absolutely brilliant remarks about my breasts. It didn't work---he just laughed. So you get the money if you can teach me to put together a string of words that'll make him blush or at least shut up for the moment. But I won't say" --- she paused --- "you know. That word."
WILSON: "Which word?" Wilson asked innocently, testing exactly what Cameron would do to avoid actually saying it.
CAMERON: Cameron rolled her eyes and tipped her head up, as if to say 'You are so far beneath me that I will not even bother to look upon you right now.' "Very funny," she said. "You and House really should do a comedy tour." There was a beat, and then: "It starts with a c."
WILSON: "Conservatism? It's the dirtiest c-word I know," Wilson joked before turning serious. "I don't like that one, either. Easily avoided." He folded his hands over his stomach and tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling in thought. "So the task is to find something that'll make House shut up, instead of just laughing at you. Your best bet is a fairly long, creative string that doesn't repeat much. Variety impresses him..."
CAMERON: "Ha!" Cameron blurted out at Wilson's quip. She laughed, genuinely, for a moment. "That was good," she said approvingly, before returning to business. "Variety . . . I don't know anything foreign. And I don't know many curse words in English, come to think of it. I mean, I know the obvious ones," she continued, the words tumbling out. "And-- well-- the dirtiest word I know is" --- she paused, a moment, and gathered her breath --- "cocksucker." Following that revelation, she folded into herself a bit, shoulders pulling together and back curling, and covered her face with her hands. "Not that I was calling you one," she said through her fingers, the words quite muffled.
WILSON: An eyebrow twitched upward. That was oddly hot... Wilson rubbed at one eye and laughed softly. "If we can get you to say that one without going into a fetal position and trying to hide, it might be pretty effective..."
CAMERON: "Yeah," Cameron said, fingers still over her mouth. "Not flinching would be good." She lifted her hands and began to uncurl, glancing over at Coma Guy as if to make sure he hadn't heard her. "I could say the word to House. It's saying it to you that's the problem." She kept looking at the patient, before her face lit up with an idea. "Hey! That's it. Pretend to be House. Try to grab my ass or tell me my only value is in my looks or ask me if I was sexually abused or something horribly inappropriate. Think of something to say or do that would give Parker an aneurysm, and then go for it. Then I might get some anger into my inflection."
WILSON: Wilson opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking vaguely like a fish out of water. He wasn't so good at horribly inappropriate when he didn't have House to work off of, or at least someone else prompting him. "Um..." He rubbed the back of his neck and struggled to think fast. "I'm not sure if I can. It'd be like kicking a puppy."
CAMERON: "So, you can't insult me---deliberately---and I can't swear." Cameron smiled ruefully. "This is going well, isn't it?" The smile turned into a full-blown smirk. "Of course, I keep my money if you keep on with your innocence, so I have little motivation to tell you that I am not puppy and that you're acting rather cowardly for a man who's best friends with Gregory House. . . ."
WILSON: "He dishes it out and deserves to get it back," Wilson said. "It's not as difficult to abuse someone who abuses you first." He squinted slightly as he studied Cameron. "I did do some acting in college, though. I should be able to fake it. If I can be creative enough to come up with anything, that is."
CAMERON: Cameron laughed. "Well, I don't think I can abuse you," she said. She kept her eyes on Wilson as she leaned over to scratch an itch on her calf. "So I guess it's method acting for you. And the winner for Best Impersonation of a Misanthrope With a Heart is. . . ."
WILSON: Method acting, indeed. She'd practically handed this one to him on a silver platter. Easy start. Quirking one eyebrow, Wilson craned his neck and tilted his head just slightly to cast an obvious glance down the front of her shirt. ...Nice view. He might have to act like House a little more often.
CAMERON: It took a Cameron a few seconds too long to notice what Wilson was up to---likely because it was the last thing she'd expected him to do. "Are you---?" she spluttered as she quickly straightened. "Oh, grow up, Wilson," she said coolly, then scowled and folded her arms over her chest. "I thought you were going to teach me something useful, not act like an eighth grade boy. Do you want to give me a cootie test too?"
WILSON: Alas, the point was to act like House, which entailed acting like an eighth grade boy. He would've pointed that out, but he had to stay in character long enough for this to work. So instead of an apology accompanied by a shy grin and a bashful laugh, he made one corner of his mouth flicker upward into a wry smirk. "You know, the procedure for cootie tests changes drastically once you hit legal adulthood. Does that question double as consent? I'd rather not end up in jail."
CAMERON: And people thought Wilson was the nice one? Cameron was fuming; her mouth had dropped into a small 'O' and her fingers instinctively curling. That had been her reaction for her first month with House, until she'd acquired an automatic repressed anger mechanism, but hearing the words out of Wilson's mouth didn't trigger it, somehow. She stood up in a rush, the movement pushing her chair back slightly and knocking it into the wall with a small thunk. Hands on her hips, she stood over Wilson.
"I'm a professional. And so, allegedly, are you," she spat out. "Grow up, Jimmy, and --- go to hell!" The last part was a bit clumsy, but she was showing promise, at least in tone; her voice sounded as if it could burn metal.
WILSON: Good start, Wilson thought. Push her more. Part of what had annoyed Cameron so much was the fact that House laughed at her when she swore, so he gave a faint derisive snort. "Professional whats, precisely?" he asked. "I could come up with a couple of professions that you'd be well-suited for." Oh, God, he hated himself, and he sort of wanted to deck House even though House wasn't the one saying the actual words. But he was still the inspiration.
CAMERON: Cameron dug her fingers into her hips at Wilson's snort, her scowl becoming more ingrained with each word he spoke. "You asshole," she replied, voice strained, "you really are just like him. You're worse. You absolute bastard."
Done speaking for the moment, Cameron lifted her hands, but not to cover her mouth this time. Instead, they went into her hair, loosening it so it fell over her shoulders. That task completed, Cameron pulled one hand down her neck and past collar of her shirt, slowly moving it down the line of buttons on her blouse. "Is this what you'd think I'd be better at? Does this make you happy? Is this what you think I'm good for?" she asked, voice intensifying with each question until it broke. "Well---FUCK YOU, you jackass," she half-screamed, not thinking. "I am worth so much more than that. If that's all you see---if that's all you want to see, then I feel sorry for you, you pathetic prick." Another example in which it was best not to store up one's emotions.
WILSON: Win. Not a comfortable victory, but it had worked. Wilson's eyes opened wider and he let the act drop. He stood quickly, reaching out to cup her face in his hands to force her to look at his face, hoping she'd be able to tell now he was being sincere and she'd remember that he was supposed to be acting before. "Hey," he said quietly, employing the voice he used on patients who were on the verge of or in the middle of a panic attack. "Hey. See? You can swear. ...Pretty damn effectively. But breathe... Don't forget to breathe. Calm down for a second."
CAMERON: "Oh. . . ." Cameron murmured. The tension and anger gone, she let her arms drop and her shoulders relax. "Acting, right?" She stood for a moment, breathing deeply. It was slightly odd to be standing so close to Wilson, but not particularly uncomfortable, though that could have just been the last of the adrenaline thinking. Several breaths later, she brought her hands up and laid them over Wilson's as if to say it's okay, I'm okay. "Sorry for calling you such awful things," she said, blushing slightly. "You earned your money, though. And you're still cheaper than a therapist." A small false laugh---now, this was awkward, his knowing her capacity for anger. And his seeing her . . . dance moves. She blushed more deeply and looked away.
WILSON: "Don't apologize," he said with a bit of a laugh. "It was the goal, after all. Now the trick is to get you to react the same way when it's actually House, and not just me trying to be as horrible as I can." Wilson laughed again and once again found himself taking the opportunity to really look at Cameron for a few moments while she was looking away. "You should wear your hair down more often," he murmured.
CAMERON: If she hadn't already been blushing, Wilson's comments would certainly have made Cameron's cheeks flush. Since she was already in the act, however, all his words did was bring more blood to her face, turning her skin a particular shade of crimson. "I am sorry," she said, still talking to a spot on the wall. "Though I won't be the next time I use those phrases." She took another deep breath and forced herself to look at Wilson again. "Thanks," she managed, her voice so soft the word was almost a question. That was when she realized her hands were still on top of Wilson's; she quickly pulled them away and dropped them to her sides, blushing, if possible, even more as she did so.
WILSON: She was impossibly attractive when she blushed. This could end up being one of the biggest I-Told-You-So's ever from House... Wilson drew his hands away from Cameron's face, hesitating a little so his fingertips brushed lightly along her jaw line. He didn't step away from her, though, and now it was his turn to shift his gaze, smiling in amusement at how ridiculously like an awkward teenager he felt. "If I were to kiss you, you wouldn't slap me or anything, would you?" he asked with a laugh. Better safe than sorry...
CAMERON: "No," Cameron murmured, the word caught in an exhalation and almost inaudible. For a moment, it seemed as if this was her freshman year all over again, although the coma patient added a nice touch of surrealism to the proceedings. She looked at Wilson and attempted a smile, trying not to let the awkwardness choke her. "No," she repeated, a bit more clearly this time, "but . . . you're not being House again, right? You did just teach me to swear. . . ."
WILSON: "I don't think he would've checked first," Wilson pointed out as he wrapped an arm around Cameron's waist, his hand settling at the small of her back with just enough pressure to pull her closer. He leaned in and pressed slightly parted lips to hers, soft enough that if she wanted to pull away she could without it seeming offensive but firm enough that she knew he'd rather she didn't.
CAMERON: This was . . . nice. Really, really nice, Cameron thought, before the ability to think evaporated. Some rational part of her mind (which sounded an awful lot like House) reminded her that Wilson had probably had quite a lot of practice with this, but it (he) disappeared with all other thought after a few seconds. She curled a hand around Wilson's shoulder and relaxed into the kiss, her eyes closing as she did so.
WILSON: Most of the physical contact in Wilson's life came from outbursts of emotion. The motions were quick and fierce. There was the occasional punch aimed at his nose, though he'd gotten exceptionally good at anticipating and avoiding that. Frightened kids clinging to his shirt and crying after their parents had gone home for the night. Grieving family members needing bone-crunching hugs and soothing words.
But this felt different. And better. Cameron's body all but melted against his and it wasn't because she needed anything. It was just because she wanted to and because the moment felt good. He let the kiss linger for a few more moments and then he pulled back just far enough to be able to see her face and try to read her expression.
CAMERON: As Wilson moved away, Cameron opened her eyes and looked up at him, completely unsure of what to say---thanks for all the fish? "Um," she tried, and then closed her mouth. This wasn't how it was supposed to happen: in her past imaginings, it had been House, for one thing, and there was no comatose patient, and it wasn't this disturbingly good. Pleasant, even.
The capacity to think materialized again, a not altogether good thing. It occurred to Cameron then that Wilson was still, technically, married, which was an idea that made her rather nauseous, so she shoved it inside. The notion that Wilson was her boss's best friend was the next to arrive, a thought that, unsurprisingly, had the same effect as the previous one; it too was shelved for the moment. Major concerns pushed aside, she realized she'd really enjoyed that---probably too much---and she began speaking to try to mask her nervousness, although the blush that was again spreading to her face meant that hope was a ridiculous one. "Um. We're sure he's in a coma, right? Because the nurses would have a field day with this. . . ."
WILSON: "I think a lot of people would have a field day with this," Wilson said, unable to keep himself from leaning in again to brush his lips lightly along her jaw line, just where his fingers had caressed a few minutes ago. "A lot of people as in just about everyone we know."
CAMERON: At Wilson's motions, Cameron moved her hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck, winding her fingers through his hair. "Yeah," she breathed, tipping her head back slightly. "Maybe we shouldn't tell them for a while. If there's going to be awhile, I mean---what I mean is we shouldn't tell anyone," she said, the last sentence breathless and rushed. Her eyes opened a bit bigger as she realized what she'd said and she froze where she should stood. Oh, fuck, she thought: I just ruined it, didn't I?
WILSON: He felt her tense slightly in his arms, so Wilson ran a hand down Cameron's spine to try and soothe her a little. "Probably not a bad idea, considering it hasn't even been a week since I insisted to House that nothing's going on with you and me," he murmured against her neck.
CAMERON: "You told him that?" Cameron asked, smiling slightly in spite of her fear. "That probably won't keep him off track, but it might buy some time." She relaxed as Wilson's hand moved down her back (and, oh, his breath against her neck really did feel too good), and placed a light kiss on his jaw, as if to apologize. The hand that had been on his neck slipped underneath his shirt collar to slide over his shoulder-blade. "So," she said, and then shut up.
WILSON: "Well, it was honest, at the time," he said. "Not that I would have said anything different to him even if it hadn't been. We'd almost just gotten into a fist fight -- beer and psychoanalysis make poor bedfellows, in case you weren't aware -- and I wasn't about to say anything that'd make him take the cane to me again." Wilson shook his head, dismissing the topic. House didn't get to know about this yet. Whatever 'this' was. Which probably should be figured out pretty soon, because he'd also told House that he didn't want to break Cameron, and that was honest, too. "So," he echoed. "Now we've got a secret. Where do we go from here?"
CAMERON: "A fist fight?" Cameron repeated, eyes widening and voice acquiring a touch of awe. "I'm so sorry--- he must have been really drunk--- he couldn't have meant it--- but, oh, I'm sorry. When Foreman and I called you House's personal punching bag, we didn't mean it literally. . . ." Her focus moving from the fight to The Big Important and Awkward Question, Cameron brought her hand back to rest at her side and tipped her head up to study Wilson's expression, the better to frame her answer. "I don't know," she said. "Actually, I kind of want to go to a bar and get smashed so that I don't have to think about what you mean by that question, but that's not really an answer, is it?"
WILSON: Wilson had to smile at the half-thoughtful and half-nervous look on Cameron's face. "It is an answer, technically, just ... not a great one." He tucked a few strands of hair behind Cameron's ear, just so he had something to concentrate on instead of keeping eye contact. "It's a big question. I didn't expect a real answer yet. I just wanted to put it out there."
CAMERON: Well, this moment was acquiring awkwardness at a rather impressive rate. Cameron clasped Wilson's hand with hers to stop him from moving, then stared at him for a long moment. "Well, what's your answer?" she asked with false joviality. "Seems unfair that I'm the only one in the hot seat here. And" --- she took a breath, steadying herself: I forced House into a date, I can do this, she told herself sternly --- "I think we should see where this goes. It's going to be awkward and complicated no matter what we do, right? In for a penny, in for a pound. . . and I don't. You know. Dislike you or anything. In fact, I even like you."
WILSON: "That's a relief," Wilson said with a snort. He tangled his fingers with hers and looked down at them, squinting in thought. "There's a lot to think about," he said finally, "but I agree we should see where it goes. I think making any sort of big leap in either direction at the moment would be a mistake."
CAMERON: "Shut up, you goddamn bastard," Cameron said, laughing. "Yeah. We'll just . . . see. So, right now --- now what?" After a moment of searching the room for a clock, she caught the time. "We've been here for a while, and I'm sure Cuddy will be along to skin us alive for neglecting the clinic soon, so. . . ."
WILSON: "Now we stop neglecting work. And we..." Wilson trailed off, his mind groping for a plan of action. "Well, it's not like we'd be able to avoid each other unless we really made an effort to. So we'll talk again soon." He paused for a beat and then amended that with, "I'll call you. Might be easier to talk if we don't have to worry about blushing and keeping eye contact and things like that." He flashed a faint grin to show he was teasing a little.
CAMERON: Cameron pulled her hand from Wilson's and nodded. "Right," she said, smoothing out her blouse. Her hands went back into her hair, brushing it off her shoulders and back behind her ears, and she smiled apologetically at Wilson. "It gets in the way, otherwise," she explained. She stood for a moment. "Right. Well. Yes. You know my number. And we'll . . . work something out." She hesitated a moment, then gave him a quick goodbye kiss before turning to reach for her briefcase.
WILSON: Wilson shook his head a little when Cameron's back was turned, in response to the peck. He kissed his sister-in-law like that, for God's sake. Before she left the room, Wilson caught her by the arm and pulled her into a proper kiss -- still not anything earth-shattering, but it lingered for a while and he smiled when he pulled back and let her go. "Talk to you later," he told her.


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The Vampire Diaries mid-series finale is nearly here and we're worried about what's in store for our favorite vampires. Find out what Caroline actress Candice King teased about Episode 7
The latest installment of The Vampire Diaries saw Seline kidnap Alaric and Caroline's daughters to offer up to Cade. However Damon surprised us all by offering up his services instead. But it was a package deal that Stefan needed to agree to as well, which he did to save Josie and Lizzie. Stefan managed to negotiate one last day with Caroline, and The Vampire Diaries Episode 7 trailer shows that they're going to try to celebrate Christmas like normal people do. Unfortunately for them, Damon and Sybil crash the dinner.
Speaking about the mid-season finale to TV Guide, Caroline actress Candice King shared, "[Damon and Sybil] have their own plan. They have their own reasons. But of course, they're not necessarily going to show all their cards at the beginning of the meal. So you're going to see a lot of Sybil and Damon toying around with the other dinner guests, which are Matt and Matt's father. So we're going to learn a lot about Matt's father and his history with Mystic Falls and why Sybil and Damon are so intrigued by him."
King previously revealed that Episode 7 will unveil the Donovan family history in Mystic Falls, which Matt actor Zach Roerig has teased is supernatural. In the trailer, Caroline declares that Stefan is dead, however King has promised that "there will definitely be sweet Caroline and Stefan moments," in the back half of Season 8. Whether or not Stefan does indeed become Cade's minion, which entails killing bad people and sending their souls to hell, there's still hope for Steroline to have a happily ever after. King said, "I think [Caroline] would always be willing to accept [Stefan] back. It would take something really, really dark for her to not want to be with him anymore. But there's plenty of episodes to see what kind of mayhem he might cause." Do you think that Caroline and Stefan will end up together at the end of the series?

subset: commoncrawl


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Christopher Durang's Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike has arrived at San Diego's Old Globe Theatre, and though it does not quite reach the level of brilliance of V&S&M&S's Los Angeles premiere earlier this year, the 2013 Best Play Tony winner proves a hilarious, crowd-pleasing treat (especially for the over-50 set) and a definite winner for The Old Globe.
Rest assured, you don't have to be an Anton Chekhov fan (or even all that familiar with The Seagull, Uncle Vanya, Three Sisters, or The Cherry Orchard) to pick up on just about every laugh-line in Durang's third Broadway comedy (following 1982's Beyond Therapy and 1996's Sex And Longing).
Yes, its sibling trio (the first three names of the title) have monikers straight out of Chekhov, and yes, mention is made of a cherry orchard, and yes, there is a play-within-a-play borrowed from The Seagull.
Still, even those who don't know their Cherry Orchard from Cherries Jubilee will soon find themselves quite taken by 58-year-old Vanya (Martin Moran) and his adopted 52-year-old sister Sonia (Marcia DeBonis), he gay, she frumpy, and both eternally single, having devoted fifteen of the best years of their lives to caring for their elderly, eventually Alzheimer's-stricken, now deceased parents, during which time their slightly younger sister Masha (Candy Buckley) spent her days and nights off gallivanting around the world making movies and money, the latter of which has kept Vanya and Sonia comfortably ensconced in their Bucks County country house, movie star sis not only paying the bills but giving brother and sister a monthly stipend.
Not surprisingly, years of cohabitating have created a long-married-couple dynamic between the oft-bickering siblings.
Take for instance this morning, its comfortable, comforting routine disturbed by Vanya's unprecedented decision to pour his own coffee. ("I have two pleasant moments every day in my fucking life, and one of them is bringing you coffee," sis informs him in a snit.) With annoying disruptions like this one, it's no wonder Sonia has been having nightmares lately—"I dreamt I was 52 and I wasn't married"—no matter that this particular bad dream happens to be true.
At the very least, Vanya and Sonia's farmhouse-turned-country home is kept spic-and-span by sassy black cleaning lady Cassandra (Haneefah Wood), blessed—or cursed—with a soothsayer's ability to foretell the future, or at least so she maintains whenever seized by a paroxysm that sets her off saying sooths. ("I see doom and destruction swirling around you. Beware of Hootie Pie. I don't know what Hootie Pie is. I just know you must beware of it.")
And so Vanya and Sonia's life has gone, day by day, week by week, year by year, in a reassuring if bothersome monotony that will today be disrupted by that rarest of events, a visit from the glamorous, globetrotting, five-times married Masha, her 20something actor/boy-toy Spike (Tyler Lansing Weaks) in tow and a piece of bad news in store for her unwitting siblings.
It's not that Masha hasn't been thinking about the boring pair. ("I often miss you. I'm in a play or a movie, and I think of my dear Sonia, and think, oh, I miss her! I must call her. Then I get called to the set and months go by and I forget to call.") It's just that "life happens, no?" and Masha has a life, one which tonight includes a party for the rich and famous at "the Dorothy Parker house up the road," a costume party that Vanya and Sonia are welcome to attend should they agree to dress as dwarfs to Masha's Snow White and Spike's Prince Charming.
With a lover at least twenty years her junior who's more than willing to strip down to his tight black boxers at a moment's notice, the better to show off bulging biceps, rippling pecs, and a six-pack that just won't quit, it's no wonder that Masha isn't all that thrilled when young Spike returns from a dip in the pond accompanied by fresh-young-neighbor Nina (Allison Layman), herself a would-be actress and Masha's biggest fan.
Before long Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike (and Nina) have headed off in costume for the house up the road, though it turns out to be Nina in dwarf mode, Sonia having insisted on going as Snow White's beautiful evil queen, or rather as Snow White's beautiful evil queen as played by Maggie Smith in California Suite mode.
And that's just the start of one of the funniest, most satisfying comedies you're likely to see all year.
Durang's characters are quirky, real, and easy to identify with, particularly if you've reached Vanya And Sonia And Masha's age. It's true that you might not want to spend a lifetime with any of them, but two hours and a quarter is just fine indeed, and by the time Sonia ends the play with a line not quite out of Chekhov, brother and sisters have gone on a life-changing journey with us along for the ride.
Broadway's Jessica Stone has based her direction on Nicholas Martin's Tony-nominated original, and if it ends up more or less a carbon-copy (as was David Hyde Pierce's in the play's Los Angeles Premiere), imitation is indeed the sincerest form of flattery, and both Stone's direction and her cast prove first-rate.
Buckley won a Best Featured Actress Scenie for her 2010 performance as a "Mommie Dearest with a heart" in South Coast Rep's Doctor Cerberus and she is every bit as fabulous at The Old Globe as the glamorous, self-centered Masha. Moran could add a bit more prickle to what is now a tad-too-sweet Vanya, but when he lets loose with the doozy of an 11th Hour child-of-the-'50s rant Durang has written for his fictional alter ego, the stage-and-screen vet brings the house down with cheers. DeBonnis's sweetly-sourly frumpy Sonia would be perfectly marvelous had I not seen Tony nominee Kristine Nielsen's subtle brilliance in the role, but there is time for DeBonis and her castmates to hone their performances.
The oh-so hunky Weaks could not make for a sexier or more winning Spike, not only displaying a to-die-for physique but the acting chops of a Brown University/Trinity Repertory Company's M.F.A. Program grad as well. Old Globe/USD M.F.A Program student Layman nails Nina's starstruck wonder and endearing naiveté to perfection. Last but not least is Wood, a wild-and-crazy delight as Cassandra. (If she adds just a tad more "seizure" to her moments of divine inspiration a la Tony nominee Shalita Grant, she'll score a perfect 10.)
Scenic designer David Korins' gorgeously detailed indoor-outdoor set is presumably the same as his New York original as I would guess are David Weiner's pitch-perfect lighting design and Mark Bennett's effervescent original music and topnotch sound design. Gabriel Berry's terrific costumes are new for The Old Globe.
Casting is by Caparelliotis Casting. Bryan Hunt is associate director. Annette Yé is stage manager and Amanda Salmons assistant stage manager.
Having established his reputation as a comedy writer extraordinaire with the Obie Award-winning Sister Mary Ignatius, The Marriage of Bette and Boo, and Betty's Summer Vacation, Christopher Durang has given us his most general-audience-friendly play in Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike. For those who may have missed it in L.A., or who simply want the joy of a second visit to Bucks County, Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike is well worth a drive down San Diego way.
Old Globe Theatre, Balboa Park, San Diego.
–Steven Stanley
May 24, 2014
Photos: Jim Cox
Tags: Christopher Durang, San Diego Theater Review, The Old Globe, Vanya And Sonia And Masha And Spike


text:
The Quest for Enlightenment: Articles from Back to Godhead Magazine
Price: 4.99 USD
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Author Name: Prabhupada, A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Binding: Hardcover
Book Condition: Very Good
Type Book
Publisher USA BHAKTIVEDANTA BOOK PUB 1997
ISBN Number 0892132922 / 9780892132928
Seller ID 029543
At the dawn of time, Brahma sat in trance, seeking inspiration to create the universe. "Who am I?' he wondered. "Where have I come from? What should I do?" Then the Supreme Being, Krsna, revealed Himself, flooding Brahma's heart with transcendental knowledge. Passed down since Brahma's time through an unbroken chain of gurus and disciples, that same profound knowledge is ours in The Quest for Enlightenment.
The author of Quest is His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada, whom scholars and spiritual leaders worldwide recognize as the most distinguished teacher of Indian culture and philosophy of the modern age. With his spiritual lineage reaching back through Brahma to Sri Krsna, Srila Prabhupada is uniquely qualified to present the timeless Vedic teachings on yoga, meditation, reincarnation, and self-realization that have helped countless seekers in their search for ultimate peace and happiness
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text: Scott-- It looks as though there's useful information in your post, but I misplaced my Captain Marvel decoder ring decades ago. What are LTO and LTU? You've used other abbreviations that may puzzle those knowing even less than I do. Perhaps a Torsen glossary is in order, especially for the uninitiated. Is there such a thing in the archives? Say no more, I'll look for it while awaiting your reply. TIA, Larry Mittell


text: On Thu, Feb 08, 2007 at 04:16:58PM -0600, Callum Lerwick wrote: > > With what GCC version? And with what other flags? Optimization is an > incredibly finicky thing, that can wildly vary depending on the version > of GCC, and different opt flags can interact in strange ways. > > Unless you can show a conclusive benchmark showing -O3 is better with > *our* GCC and all the rest of *our* opt flags, this shouldn't be allowed > IMHO. Why not trust upstream? And if a benchmark shows that it is untrue, come back to -O2. If i recall well -O3 make debuging harder, so there is a choice to do, but the packager should certainly be trusted in those cases. -- Pat


text:
Urgent – Legislative Action and Bill Summaries. Call your Representative today and tell them to vote no on S. 3100 and S. 2193!
Congress is currently considering legislation that would force and coerce local police to serve as immigration enforcement officers. Such proposals would reverse years of intentional, community-based policing efforts that are vital to public safety in neighborhoods across the country. On Wednesday afternoon, the full Senate will consider S. 3100, the Stop Dangerous Sanctuary Cities Act, which punitively withholds federal funding for cities with community trust policies in place. They will also consider S. 2193, Kate's Law, this week, which increases mandatory minimums for undocumented immigrants who re-enter the United States.
In light of last years' tragic shooting in San Francisco, we ask that our nation's leaders not politicize this tragedy or use the actions of one individual to harm entire communities.
Local detainer ordinances such as the one in San Francisco seek to foster trust between local law enforcement officers and all community members, regardless of their immigration status. When all individuals can report dangerous situations and seek protection from violence without the fear of being deported and separated from their families, safety increases for everyone.
Faith statements, articles and additional resources are below.
Faith Statements
Faith Leader Letter to Congress in Opposition to Recent Anti-Immigrant Legislation, with over 1,000 signatures
Faith Leader Letter to North Carolina Governor McCrory in Opposition to H.B. 318
Church World Service Statement in Opposition to Proposals that would Dismantle Trust Between Local Police and Communities
CWS Statement to the U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee, Regarding its Hearing on Immigration Enforcement Policies on Tuesday, July 21, 2015
The General Board of Church and Society of The United Methodist Church; House Immigration Subcommittee Hearing; Thursday, July 23, 2015
Praying for Healing: Faith Community Call for Solidarity with San Francisco
City and Law Enforcement Statements
County Sheriffs of Colorado; Letter to Senator Gardner Opposing H.B. 3009
Law Enforcement Immigration Task Force; Letter to Senate Committee on the Judiciary Chairman Chuck Grassley and Senate Committee on the Judiciary Ranking Member, Senator Patrick Leahy, in Opposition to Proposals that Impose Federal Immigration Enforcement Responsibilities on Local Law Enforcement
Major County Sheriff's Association; Letter Opposing Funding Cuts to Local Law Enforcement to Coerce Policy Changes in Sanctuary Cities
National Fraternal Order of Police; Letter Opposing Police Funding Cuts to Coerce Policy Changes in Sanctuary Cities
Stakeholder Letter from Fraternal Order of Police, Major County Sheriffs' Association, Major Cities Chiefs Association, U.S. Conference of Mayors, National District Attorneys Association, National Sheriffs Association, National Conference of State Legislatures, National Criminal Justice Association, and National League of Cities; Opposing Police Funding Cuts to Coerce Policy Changes in Sanctuary Cities
US Conference of Mayors, Action Alert Against Vitter Substitute
United States Conference of Mayors, Letter to Senators Opposing S. 2146
The United States Conference of Mayors and the National League of Cities; Letter Opposing Funding Cuts to Local Police to Coerce Local Law Enforcement to Act as Immigration Agents
News Articles
"Don't Blame Local Police for Bad Immigration Policies" by Mary Meg McCarthy, Letter to the Chicago Tribune
"ICE vs. the Constitution" by Hector Villagra, The Los Angeles Times
"Lost in the Immigration Frenzy" by The New York Times Editorial Board, The New York Times
"Mixing deportation and criminal justice systems harms communities" by Richard Smith, The San Francisco Chronicle
"Survivors of Violence and Fear of Deportation: A Story from an Advocate" by National Latin@ Network
"The Political Exploitation Of One Undocumented Murderer" by Esther Yu-Hsi Lee, Think Progress
"When Witnesses Are Too Afraid to Call 911" by Rich Stanek, The Star Tribune
"Why Mandatory Minimums Aren't the Solution to the Kate Steinle Tragedy" by Molly Gill, The Hill
"Why Some Cities Don't Rush To Turn Over Undocumented Immigrants To The Feds" by Elise Foley, The Huffington Post
Other Resources
American Immigration Lawyers Association; Submitted to the Committee on the Judiciary of the U.S. Senate Hearing on "Oversight of the Administration's Misdirected Immigration Enforcement Policies: Examining the Impact on Public Safety and Honoring the Victims"
Americans for Citizenship Backgrounder on State and Local Law Enforcement and Immigration with Input from: American Civil Liberties Union, American Immigration Council, Immigrant Legal Resource Center and the National Immigration Law Center
Human Rights Watch; Statement on "Oversight of the Administration's Misdirected Immigration Enforcement Policies: Examining the Impact on Public Safety and Honoring the Victims"
National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence Against Women; Letter Opposing H.R. 3009
National Task Force to End Sexual and Domestic Violence Against Women; Letter Opposing S.1814
San Francisco Immigrant and Civil Rights Coalition; Immigrant and Civil Rights Organizations Support Changes to SF Warrant Practices; Oppose Legislation Aimed to Weaken Community Policing Policies


text:
Online Class
Patternmaking Basics: The Bodice Sloper
with Suzy Furrer
Two children's garments created with charm packs or assorted coordinating 5" fabric squares. By varying the number of squares used for the perimeter of the garment you can make a variety of little girl sizes. The skirt has an elastic waist and the jumper has shoulder straps that crisscross at the back and button at the front. Embellish seams by adding lace, rick rack or vintage trim for unique detailing. Sizes 2-6 SIZING / FINISHED MEASUREMENTS Sizes 2 - 6


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The idea of rest is always part of a trip. One of the most common reasons why people go on vacations is because they look for a place to relax and unwind; they search for new places to be calmed and comforted by new surroundings. There is always that want and need to have a few days off to make oneself be immersed in somewhere that can effectively reduce the stress that has piled up for months and years in one's body.
These are some of the best spa hotels in the world where you'll be spoiled and pampered to your heart's content. The only danger in being in these kinds of places is the possibility that you may not want to leave. Explore some of these great spots and see which of them you'd like to visit someday. In no particular order, here are some places that will give you a relaxing holiday.
source: karmatrendz.wordpress.com
Nahrawess Hotel & Spa Resort – Tunisia
This is a spot in the Mediterranean that offers both luxury and comfort, allowing its guests to experience wonderful views and be pampered by unique spa methods. This is the place where you'll experience thalassotherapy, a treatment method that used seawater. Because this is the largest thalassotherapy center in the Mediterranean, you will get only the best services here. There are also so many spa and wellness methods available in their different programs, such as the Anti-stress Cure, Biomince Cure, Body Sculpt Cure, Slimming and Acupuncture Cure—so you will not immediately run out of things to choose from.
source: globalgrasshopper.com
This hotel is set in the magnificent village of Positano in the Amalfi Coast. Overlooking picturesque surroundings, this place offers a world-class spa that uses only the best treatments and techniques. Their hotel has expert therapists who will give you the treatments you need for unwinding and detoxification, offering different packages to suit your needs.
source: myperfecthoneymoon.blogspot.com
Four Seasons Bali Jimbaran Bay – Bali, Indonesia
If you're looking for a natural setting and a place that gives exquisite spa treatments, this is definitely a place in Asia that you must consider. The spa in this Four Seasons hotel offers a balanced mix of traditional methods and modern rituals. Aside from the different kinds of pampering, this resort also offers yoga classes for different levels. This is definitely the place to go to if you're looking for therapy that is genuinely and exquisitely Javanese.
source: by 156 from panoramio.com
Kanuhura Resort And Spa – Maldives
The mere mention of the Maldives is already an assuring fact that you will be in for something out of the ordinary. This private resort is where you can experience lavish spa treatments, as well as be immersed in a breathtaking landscape of the Indian Ocean. Whether you wish to stay in the village on stitlts or in private villas, you will get pampered to your heart's content.
source: eliteresortsofasiapacific.com
Jurmala is a spa resort town, so you will have lots of accomodations to choose from. One of the most famous ones is the Hotel Jurmala Spa, a resort near the beaches of the Gulf of Riga. Aside from the picturesque views, you will also be able to experience the best spa treatments that will give you a refreshed sense of well-being. There are also features like gym and aerobics, saunas, and pool centres.
source: rumb.ru
Spa and wellness hotels are slowly becoming big in all corners of the world, so there surely be lots of new places to choose from. We're sure you have a lot of other spa resorts to suggest, so go ahead and share them with us! We'd love to hear more of suggestions, especially to those who have experienced them first-hand.


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THE Continental in 2003 promises to be three times the fun with three floors of Christmas parties with each area having its own DJ and style.
Christmas this year is all about choice and value.
Party organisers are keen to offer as much as possible to their guests and are opting for venues that offer a range of services under one roof. This places the larger venues at a clear advantage as they have the space to offer larger and more diverse menus and a number of dance floors, each with a different style of music.
We are pleased to be able to offer something for everyone, with dining on the ground floor, the more refined atmosphere of No 10 in the basement and the party popping Club Latino on the first floor.
"We make it a priority to look after the interests of party organisers," says Giovanni. "We realise that organising a large office party can be quite a lot of work, so we try to make things easy for the organisers by providing support and help with bookings. Also the choice on offer at the Continental means that at least the organisers don't have to worry about finding just one venue to suit all tastes."
In addition to the music and dancing the Continental Christmas menu will be prepared under the watchful eye of expert Italian chefs. The chefs from Tuscany and Naples have won awards for their skills in the kitchen.
Christmas menus are available from both Gio's on The Hayes and from the Continental on Mill Lane.
To receive a party menu by post or fax call, for Gio's 02920 220077 or for the Continental call 02920 665500.


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How many children do Torvald and Nora have in A Doll's House?
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It is interesting that the children are but minor characters in this play that is so much about the family and Nora as a mother and as a wife. It is also important to note that the way Nora interacts with them is a precise imitation of the way that she interacts with her husband, Torvald, except with the roles reversed. Thus, with her children, it is Nora who becomes the parent-like figure, playing with her children and treating them as if they were charming playthings or dolls, whereas very clearly in her relationship with Torvald it is Torvald who treats her like this. If we look at the beginning of the play, which introduces the major characters, we can see that Nora and Torvald are said to have three children. Their names are Ivar, Anne-Marie and Bob, as is made clear from the scene in Act I when Nora plays with her children.


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There is some positive team news for Arsenal heading into this weekend's fixture with Stoke City, with Manager Arsene Wenger confirming that Spanish superstar Hector Bellerin is back in contention after having recovered from the injury he sustained as a result of a challenge by Danny Rose late in the North London derby last month.
Wenger revealed that while he is not certain about Bellerin's inclusion for the upcoming game, the young Spaniard could very much be in contention and faces a fitness test to determine whether he would be able to get through the game.
Arsenal have been struggling a bit in recent weeks in the right back role with Carl Jenkinson yet to hit top form after his return from injury, and Mathieu Debuchy having also picked up a knock that has ruled him out of action for 6 weeks.
Gabriel Paulista, a natural centre back, has deputized well in the right back role in recent games, but he doesn't offer the same attacking threat as Bellerin going forward, something that is quite vital when playing at home when teams traditionally try to sit deep and absorb pressure.
It still remains to be seen whether Bellerin will be fit to face Stoke, but his return to training couldn't have come at a better time for Arsenal heading into the busy holiday season.