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tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60476328004468834202017-12-27T12:22:42.003-07:00Shadyside SnarkCome visit Fear Street ... IF YOU DAREA. M. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-30281813683193122312017-02-07T06:56:00.004-07:002017-02-07T06:56:58.396-07:00Can You Keep a Secret? or "Random Acts of Werewolf"
Okay, it's definitely harder to blog when you are not doing it often, like once a week the way we used to. Now that RL has his new line of Fear Streets coming out, it takes me approximately the same time to write a blog that it takes him to write a novel. I'm not sure what that says about either of us.

So, we'll start with the cover, definitely good and creepy, a knife jammed into a tree carved with a heart. It's simple, it's mysterious. It doesn't have any goofy kids from the 80s in various states of open-mouthed astonishment, as per the old books, so the cheese factor is way down. Also the tagline is fantastic: "or are you dying to tell?" I love it! I'll admit that I feel the revamped Fear Street got off to a rough start, but this one has already captured me. I'm always willing to give RL one more chance, but then again I am an eternal optimist.

Part One

There is a spooky dream with lots of moon and wolf imagery. Omg, is this book about werewolves? I think I LOVE werewolves, which were surprisingly underrepresented up until now in the Fear Street omnibus. I can only think of that one Super Chiller, Bad Moonlight. Come to think of it, that's a shocking lack of werewolf books. I mean, vampires and zombies are everywhere, but where's the love for the humble lycanthrope?

So anyway, in this dream, the girl and the wolf have the same startlingly blue eyes, then the girl becomes the wolf. The girl wakes up from her nightmare, then wakes up her sister, Sophie. Sophie goes to comfort Emmy, the shaken dreamer. Emmy is horrified to see her sheets are completely shredded.

Emmy is the elder sister, at 17, and Sophie is 15. I love a good sister drama, doncha think, AM? They have the same black hair and blue eyes, but Sophie cut her hair extremely short because she was sick of being constantly confused for her sister.

Emmy has been having wolf dreams since she was five, when she was visiting her creepy great aunt Marta in Prague and was bit by a dog, although she doesn't remember it. Ooh, Prague, v. old world. Definitely about werewolves! On that note, there is a news report that a dog had been torn apart by a black wolf in Shadyside Park.

Enter Emmy's new boyfriend, Eddie. Emmy's mom doesn't like him – he is the best friend of Emmy's ex, and he is POOR. A fatal flaw in Shadyside. His stepdad is a cop but suspended from the police force for beating a teen, charming. Eddie works at a pet cemetery, which is awfully convenient.

Emmy goes to visit Eddie at his work and smells something evil in the air, feels strongly that Eddie should probably get a new job. Of course Eddie is at the moment burying the recently killed dog. Emmy sees the corpse and takes off running, as the thing had been skinned. Blerg. They then change the mood entirely and discuss doing something naughty that night.

Part Two

Ah, so naughtiness is an all-night party in the Fear Street Woods – always a terrible idea. Eddie is in a frisky mood, wants to play his favourite game, Can you keep a secret. Doesn't sound like much of a game, you have to reveal your deepest darkest secrets for the other to keep. His secret is that he lost his drivers license (he tells her as he drives her mom's car). They then start making out.

They are terrified when they are attacked – nope, just surprised by Emmy's ex Danny and his new girlfriend Callie. Apparently Danny has a temper and Emmy really likes Callie and thinks she's good for him. Riley and Roxie round out the crew. Riley is a huge football player and Roxie is tiny and cutesy, so they make a mismatched adorable couple. I like how Emmy is very open about how great the other girls are, no jealousies there. And my my what's with all the names ending in -y or –ie? How bout we get a names book or something.

They unload the beer because this is Fear Street of the twenty-first century! Now Eddie brings out his next secret of the night. Oh look, he stole a gun from his stepdad. Well that's not going to end well. Emmy questions her judgment at being with Eddie, because he has a temper and is poor. The gun would have done it for me, but whatevs. Then Emmy sees the black wolf and Eddie shoots it. Oh, it was only a raccoon. But Emmy is back to loving Eddie again.

Everyone else is fighting so they take off. Eddie pulls her to a clearing and calls it their secret place. He then creepily pulls out a knife … and carves Eddie heart Emmy. How sweet! The tree, of course, turns out to be hollow and housing a briefcase full of cash. Emmy is all: peace out, put it back, but Eddie thinks that she's nuts. Before they resolve this, everyone else finds them. The boys are crazy happy with their luck, the girls are not and want to take the money to the police.

Inevitably, a fight ensues, Eddie and Danny grapple and the gun comes out. Danny gets shot … oh no wait he just crumpled in fear when the gun accidentally went off. They all vote, and since only Emmy and Callie want to take the money to the police they decide instead they should hide the case at the pet cemetery until they know where it came from.

Sophie calls Emmy just then in a panic, saying she saw the black wolf on her way home. Emmy gets all dizzy and wants to howl at the moon. Callie grabs her, breaking her out of her trance, but Emmy decides to go home. The sisters are emotional together, laughing and fighting, and Emmy feels guilty that she's not more supportive of Sophie.

The guilt doesn't last that long, because she goes to Eddie's house for dinner the next night instead of Sophie's track meet. Eddie's stepdad tells them of the robbery. It was a few nights ago, a hit on an armored truck, one guy with a gun. Emmy and Eddie go for a drive where Emmy finally figures out the inevitable – the robber with the gun will come after them, since their names are carved on the tree where the cash was hiding.

Part Three

Eddie and Emmy freak out and decide to put the cash back in the tree. They go dig up the grave and of course the case is gone. They go to Danny's, where Riley shows up and they all fight a lot about who took the money. Secrets and greed are tearing the group apart!

Sophie is still awake when Emmy gets in. Emmy caves and tells her everything. Emmy dreams that night she's a wolf and wakes up howling. Also, there's a letter from Czech Republic – Great Aunt Marta is coming to visit. She has some suspiciously convenient timing. I'm kind of feeling that this book is disjointed. There's two entirely different things going on, sort of smushed together. There's the werewolf thing, then the money/greed thing, which is actually a really common theme in Fear Street novels (along with crazy people taking over other's identities). I'm just not sure that the two plots have anything to do with each other.

Eddie and Emmy go through the cemetery security footage the next day, and are surprised to find that it's Riley who took the money. Their plan is to let everyone else know then all go to confront Riley. Emmy goes with Sophie, but starts to feel funny then blacks out. All of a sudden she's in someone's yard, and Riley's body is draped over the hedges, clawed to pieces.

The official story is that he'd been mauled by a rabid wolf. There is a v sad funeral, everyone is traumatized but are still fighting about the money. Roxie finally gives Eddie and Emmy the briefcase and tells them she wants nothing to do with it, or them. Eddie reburies the case in the cemetery.

Great Aunt Marta comes. She is very old and mysterious, talking of the magic of the old country. She wakes Emmy up out of a wolf dream to tell her she'd been bitten by an immortal wolf creature in Prague and now she is wolfen. Emmy realizes she killed Riley.

Part Four

Emmy wakes Sophie up to ask her what happened at Riley's. Apparently Emmy made Sophie drop her off and told her to leave, Sophie started to go home but then came back, and at that point the cops were already there. Emmy runs out into the night, where she is joined by wild dogs. They freak out when she stops though and turn on her. It's Sophie who runs out and shoos the dogs away, saving them.

Great Aunt Marta leaves after a day. She literally just came to wake Emmy up in the middle of the night to tell her she's a werewolf, with zero advice or anything. Great Aunt Marta sucks. She could have sent a letter. Or, like, a text. (Guess what, u r a flesh-eating werewolf, lol). That is the amount of useful she is.

After school, a man is waiting for Emmy and Eddie at her car, knows who she is and she figures he's the robber. They take him to the pet cemetery. Eddie pulls his gun on the man, who asks him if that's the gun he used to hold up the armored truck. Oh noes, looks like Eddie's stepdad was very naughty and used his cop knowledge to knock off the truck. The man who took them to the cemetery by gunpoint is in fact a federal agent looking into the robbery. They dig up briefcase, but it is full of newsprint. Oops. They go to confront stepdad, because that's how things are done officially in Fear Street, and he confesses and is arrested. The federal agent lets them know that the sentence will be reduced if the money is found, so the kids try to find it.

They figure it is the owner of the pet cemetery who has it. Sophie comes with Emmy and Eddie on this adventure. They search his apartment attached to the office at the cemetery, and find the money. Unfortunately, he surprises them. At gunpoint he forces them into a disgusting pit, filled with animal corpses. The guy had been taking people's money, then just throwing the carcasses of their beloved pets into a pit behind his apartment. Gross, but also why did he hire Eddie to dig the graves then? Doesn't make tons of sense.

Sophie turns into a wolf then. She leaps out of the pit and mauls the pet cemetery owner. She tells Emmy that she was the one bitten all those years ago, but started changing a few months ago. She's the one who makes Emmy have weird dreams and blacks out sometimes. She basically blames Emmy for everything wrong with her life. Oh, yah, and she killed Riley because he knew her secret. Wha? That's a little lot random. When did this come up? Why would he not have said anything? Anyway, Sophie runs away, and soon after Emmy and Eddie are rescued by some confused cops.

In the end, Mac survives the attack (will he be a werewolf now? This doesn't come up at all), the money is returned and Eddie's stepdad gets a lesser sentence. Emmy and Eddie get a $5000 reward, which just goes to show you that trying to steal lots of money really does pay, just less than you expect.

Emmy gets home exhausted, never expecting to see her sister helping to make dinner as always. Sophie says she doesn't want to live in the woods forever (if I had been her, I would have taken all the money for myself and lived in the Bahamas forever, but whatever, I'm not a 15-year-old werewolf). Sophie approaches Emmy very intensely and asks her if she can keep a secret.

My issue with this book, besides the fact that RL seemed like he could not be finished quickly enough and threw in some random explanations at the end to just get out of it, is what I mentioned before, that it was kind of two unrelated books shoehorned in together. I would have loved to have something that focused entirely on the werewolf thing. I mean, Bad Moonlight was cheesy, but it was fun and loads better than this. I give this five gaping plot holes out of twelve.
L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-27460153436752825462016-12-14T20:15:00.003-07:002016-12-14T20:15:52.315-07:00The Lost Girl or "Someone Gets Stabbed Through the Eye With a Flaming Candle, No Joke."
Welcome back to Fear Street y'all!

Turns out that R.L. Stine is publishing the new Fear Street books pretty fast and furious. Nothing like he was in the 90s (approximately 400 per year) but he's been publishing one every six months since 2014! We have some catching up to do, clearly.

I am back with The Lost Girl, and boy, what a return to form it was! Like all great Fear Street novels, this one starts with a prologue and jumps back and forth between 1950 and 2016. The prologue is actually pretty long (like 8 chapters!) and focuses on Beth and her Italian family.

Beth's family is finally opening their own stable. Beth's father, Angelo Palmieri, worked as a stable hand for a prominent Irish family, the Dooleys, basically his whole life. (My immediate thought was they are all in Italian/Irish gangs! I wasn't that far off). He's finally saved enough money to open his own stable, and today is the opening day.

The whole family is ridiculously happy, although there is some tension between Beth and her mom. Beth is mad because her mom grounded her from last Sunday's sock hop since Beth failed geometry. Beth thinks "Everyone knows girls aren't good at math. Why does mom expect me to be special?" This has nothing to do with the plot, I just loved that these types of lines were thrown in. Classic Fear Street.

Another Fear Street classic is coming up - Beth is being stalked by Aaron Dooley, of Dooley Stables fame. Well, he's the nephew of the stable owners. He follows Beth around, trying to convince her to kiss him. This is on page 8: "I tried to squirm free, but his gloved hands were inside my open coat and he tightened them around my waist. 'Aaron, get off' I snapped. 'Get your paws off me. I'm in a hurry.'. The icy blue eyes flashed with excitement. He tightened his grip and pulled me to the side of the apartment building. 'I'm tired of playing games with you,' he said."

WTF.

And yes, it only gets worse! Assaultist Aaron pins Beth down and covers her face with kisses (weird), until Beth reveals the trick up her sleeve - she's telekinetic and is mentally choking Aaron out. She says "Why Aaron, you seem to have swallowed your tongue", which admittedly, is a pretty bad ass thing to say while you're choking someone. Beth doesn't kill Aaron, but instead leaves him in the snow, feeling very satisfied that he is now afraid of her. She's not any worse for wear for the horrifying assault, as she laughs at how scared Aaron is, so that seems about par of the course for Shadyside women. She continues on her way to her dad's stable opening and has a fine afternoon. Could RL have picked a less awful way for Beth to demonstrate her skills?

Martin Dooley, proprietor of Dooley Stables, shows up after the stable opening. Beth obviously stands around to eavesdrop, like all good Shadyside characters do. Martin accuses Angelo of betrayal for opening a competing stable, although how could he not have noticed this earlier? Like, when Angelo quit and built the stable? Maybe he has a flair for drama.

While threatening Angelo about the business, Martin brings up Beth and how she "thinks she's too good to go out with a Dooley?" Uh, yeah Martin, even Beth, the math dunce, is too good for Aaron. Anyways, Angelo and Martin get into a fight about who's junk is bigger (I can only assume) and Martin leaves after threatening Angelo. The chapter ends with a classic "Two days later, my life ended." OOOOOOOOOOHH.

Two days later, Irish thugs come and kidnap Angelo from the stable, while Beth looks on in horror from the office. She goes after the cars with her father in it, in the most boring and slow car chase. It is literally during a traffic jam. The thugs take him to Dooley's Stables, of course, where he's tied up on the ground between two stakes. Beth tries to do some telekinesis magic spell, but it doesn't work. Beth kinda sucks.

What follows here though is quite possibly the most INSANE Fear Street death. Martin Dooley comes out and covers Angelo in honey and oats (delish!) and then releases...the horses? Yes friends, Angelo is savagely ripped apart when the horses are let loose and they eat the honey and oats, and I guess just keep on eating and kill Angelo? What? Is this something that horses do - eat their food and then just keep eating whatever's beneath it until they've tunneled through to the centre of the earth? I actually googled "horses eat human flesh?" (note the incredulous question mark there). All I found is Greek mythology and a list of 10 countries who eat horse flesh. Maybe it was a revenge murder then.

Anyhoo, Beth has been watching this happen from behind a building. Since she kinda sucks, when she turns to run and get help, she runs the wrong way, and is quickly seen by the murderous irishmen and their band of flesh-eating horses (huh). Oh, Aaron has shown up now too. They chase her into the woods and she crawls into a cave, hoping to hide from the absolute insanity she just saw. As she rushes deeper in the the cave she suddenly feels like she's falling…

Present Day

We now meet Mike. Mike's dad owns the snowmobile store and rental place in Fear Street which is pretty cool, and he has a girlfriend named Pepper who has fiery red hair - OF COURSE she does. We've discussed how Shadyside seems to have the highest proportion of redheads in the world, yes? I guess due to all the Irish gangs.

Anyways, he's out grocery shopping for his mom when he spots the most beautiful girl - he describes her as looking like Emma Stone. Interesting. I think given our knowledge of RL's love of redheads, we may have stumbled across his celebrity crush! Mike is watching her so intently, he also watches her steal a bunch of food. Odd. They talk outside the store about Mike's dog and two weird things happen: she knows his name without him telling her; and he apparently wandered out of the store without his groceries and has to go back in. She introduces herself as Mindy Barker. Get it together, Mike.

The next chapter introduces the rest of the characters: Gabe is Mike's best friend, who loves video games. Diego is the big athlete, and Kathryn is the small artsy one. Pepper rounds them out. When Mike runs into Mindy in the hall and introduces Gabe, she laughs at Mike and tells him her real name is Lizzy Walker. Mike is embarrassed for some inexplicable reason - how would you know this random new girl would give you a fake name?? This had no impact on the plot. So weird!

Also, the name Lizzy? Are teens slower than they were in the 80s and 90s? Or does RL want people to catch on early? If you don't understand my meaning, I'm sure you'll catch up soon.

Mike runs into Lizzy again that afternoon - she tells him she's LOST. Get it? He points her in the right direction and she attempts to hold his hand. Actually wait. She holds his hand, then pricks his finger with a thumbtack, pricks her own and pushes them together before Mike can react. WHAT?! She whispers "now we're bloods." Please tell me what your reaction would be if a person did that to you. Because holy crap, how Mike is not terrified for his life is beyond me.

He thinks very little of this extremely distressing incident and then goes to work on the yearbook with Pepper. Pepper saw him with Lizzy earlier in the day and is jealous (of course) but he tells her she has nothing to worry about. As he has Lizzy's blood coursing through his veins! Scandalous!

That night, Lizzy wanders over to his house out of the blue claiming she got *lost* and also doesn't explain how she knew where Mike lived. Super weird. His mom invites her in for dinner where she eats like a feral animal that's been caught in a cage for weeks. She hears that Michael and his friends are going snowmobiling the next day and begs to come. When he says yes, she kisses him on the cheek out of happiness! Which is totally something new friends do... Of course Pepper comes over right then to see Lizzy eating at the dinner table with the family, also kinda kissing Mike. With Pepper super pissed off, Lizzy wanders off into the night again, in the wrong direction. Classic Lizzy!

The most surprising part of the snowmobile day is that the kids are drinking again! I mean, I'm not surprised teens are drinking, but it was very rare for Fear Street kids to drink in the original series, but it seems like they drink in every book now. It's Mike, Pepper, Lizzy, and their three friends whose name I can't bother looking up right now. Diego and so and so.

Anyways, after downing a few beers, they start snowmobiling. Everything is going well; Pepper even promised to try to be nice to Lizzy since she's new in town - probably a bigger person than me. Mike is snowmobiling down a path and … someone starts to cross in front of him. Mike feels like he can't move his arms to swerve, or hands to brake! He runs over the guy, and then is able to get his body under control. Too late - he's dead.

Everyone is freaking out. Lizzy says that she knows him - his name is Angel and he almost beat two kids to death! They all agree that he was bad news, and should probably just leave him there. Wha? Luckily, Mike has a change of heart before they get back to his dad's shop. He realizes that it clearly looks like Angel was run over by snowmobiles, so it probably won't take too long for (even) the Shadyside police to put two and two together. So even though their change of heart was more based on logistics than morality, they troupe back to the scene of the crime to call for help.

Except.. The body is gone!

Part Two- 1950

It's been a few days since Angelo was murdered by flesh-eating horses, and Beth is still missing. I guess the Irish gang dumped Angelo in the forest as the police tell her they think he was eaten by wolves. Nice police work there. Beth's mom, Gina, decides to have a double funeral.

During the funeral Martin Dooley comes to pay his respects, which does not sit well with ol' Gina. She stabs him in the eye with a goddamn candle, which lights his face and head on fire. Gina does NOT eff around! This is how she reacts after she sees Martin Dooley go up in flames: "Gina crossed her arms in front of her chest and watched." Bad ass.

Part Three - Present

Of course the Shadyside teachers take their students grave rubbing. Reminds me of the teacher in Hocus Pocus who is way to into the Sanderson sisters. Like, I get it, you live in a creepy town. You don't need to drag children to cemetery on a dreary day.

Lizzy conveniently finds Beth and Angelo's graves to do rubbings on. Weird. Weirder still, when Michael is by himself, he sees Angel climbing out of a grave! His friends think that Angel must be alive then, that Michael didn't kill him in the snowmobile accident. So...the theory is that Angel is fine, but just hangs around in open graves…? I mean, it's Shadyside, so this might be a valid theory.

Lizzy on the other hand thinks that Angel is dead (she claims he was real dead when she examined him at the accident) so it must be an evil ghost. I guess as equally likely a theory. Lizzy is very scared, so Michael gives her a hug. As he's hugging her, this happens: "I held onto Lizzy. Her tears felt hot against my cheek. Am I becoming obsessed with her?" Hahaha WTF. By the way, the italics were R.L.s, not mine! Classic Fear Street fear boner.

Anyways, Pepper sees this hug and dumps Michael, thank goodness. What a wang. He gets a threatening phone call that night and the caller claims that Mike killed him. Mike refuses to go to the police, which is probably fair enough. I mean, this guy made a threatening phone call, but Mike had previously run him over.

(Confession time: At this point in my recap, I put the book down and didn't pick it up for 2 months. My recollection is hazy and my notes aren't that good. Luckily, this recap is already super long so I don't feel guilty with how poorly I will recap the rest of the book. This is only halfway!)

The next day, Lizzy gets knocked out at school and although she (unsurprisingly) doesn't see her attacker, he whispers in her ear "one by one". Much to Mike's delight, Lizzy kisses him later that week at his house. Much to my disgust, she reminds him that they're "bloods", as in, remember that time I pricked your finger and gave you a blood-born illness? After she leaves his house, his mom is missing her special amethyst ring. Mike is flabbergasted by what could have happened to it!

Obviously, Lizzy is wearing the ring and telling everyone Mike gave it to her. He's so mad he thinks about how he is actually seeing red! A little bit of a rage issue, like all good Fear Street men. Before he can confront Lizzy, he is given a paper bag full of red hair by a random student - Pepper's hair! Mike doesn't know what happened to Pepper, so he and Gabe rush to the hospital. On the way, their car is chased and rammed from behind.

Mike wakes up in hospital. Gabe was crushed to death. My next notes says "Confesses all to cops. Asks about zombies?" I don't remember that, but I really liked that note, so there you go. Even after all that has happened, Mike is still mostly thinking of Lizzy. The police visit him a few days later to ask about Lizzy, since they've discovered there is no Lizzy Walker in school. Mike thinks about how he doesn't know anything about her and "Maybe she's poor…". Worst case scenario for any Shadysider, I know.

Lizzy comes to find Mike and begs for his help. When he tells her to go to the police she is certain that Angel would kill her for doing that, and insists she needs the help of her "blood", gross. She makes out with Mike then asks him to kill Angel for her (specifically, tomorrow night). Mike agrees and Lizzy says she'll get a gun. That was fast.

In an interesting way to spend their time, Mike and Diego decide to continue filming a class project. Macbeth, to be exact. Diego wants to film it in the boiler room of their school, for unknown reasons. Mike agrees but when he goes down, Diego has been tied to the boiler, and when Mike releases the ropes, all his skin slides off his back. Barf.

Diego is surprisingly alive, although probably wishes he wasn't. Pepper (who is fine, just got knocked out and had her head shaved) and Mike try to work on the yearbook to take their minds off their dead and maimed friends. They make an interesting discovery - in an old 1950 yearbook, there is a Beth Palmieri that looks identical to Lizzy! Pepper also points out their names are the same. Mike remembers he saw something like that in the cemetery and they go confirm that, yup, Beth Palmieri is buried there. They don't know what to make of this. Pepper asks to hang out that night but Mike says no, thinking about how Lizzy is getting a gun.

He goes to meet Lizzy that night at the spot of the old Fear Mansion. He can't find Lizzy so he just wanders around the Fear Street Woods (at night in winter) until Pepper comes up behind him. She followed him because he's been such a weirdo. Lizzy comes then and flies into a rage when she sees Pepper there. She uses her telekinesis (which I kinda forgot about) to freeze Pepper in place. Lizzy excitedly tells Mike that he's here so she can kill him. Angel steps out of the woods too. It is actually Aaron Dooley for some reason? They are working together?

So apparently Lizzy has been lusting for revenge on Mike because (surprise!) Mike is Martin Dooley's grandson. Martin Dooley has been dead for years (probably because his face caught fire), but Lizzy doesn't let that satisfy her. Lizzy and Aaron lead Mike to the cave that she used to escape in 1950 and explains it's actually a time travelling tunnel back to that year. She also explains that Aaron followed her through the time portal, (most likely, because he was/is a stalker who is obsessed with her). Aaron claims he was disgusted by how his father killed Beth/Lizzy's father and he was too scared to move when it happened. That doesn't explain the assault from the beginning of the book. Oh here it is: "We...had a bad time before...A bad moment a few days before. I actually hated him. But I was wrong about him. He loved me. He loved me so much, he followed me into the cave." God dammit R.L.

Lizzy and Aaron go to shove Mike through the time travelling cave where they say he will cease to exist (although I should mention that if they travelled from 1950 to 2016 and stayed 16, Mike would travel to 1950 and also remain 16. If they didn't age, he wouldn't anti-age into non-existence. The physics is all wrong!). Luckily Pepper comes out of her frosty spell and screams. This moment of distraction allows Mike to shove Lizzy and Aaron into the cave where… they age 70 years very rapidly (I don't think this is how time-travel works). Also, they age until they are an old pile of bones, which I think if very unfair to 86 year olds.

The books of course ends with Mike doing a grave rubbing of Beth Palmieri's grave, because why the eff not.

Alright, this book was waaaaayyyy too long and also, didn't make the best sense. Putting the issues with time-traveling caves aside, I don't really get Lizzy and Aaron's plan. Okay, they wanted to torture Mike for what his grandfather did. Did they have to kill and maim multiple innocent others? Also, why did they have to run Aaron/Angel over with the snowmobile?? Couldn't they have just started stalking Mike out of the blue? Aaron seemed great at that!

Well, there you have it. The Lost Girl by R.L. Stine. I can't say that I loved it because it was a little crazy in a bad way. Seventeen flesh-eating-horses out of thirty-two.
A.M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-24798804207715344072016-08-30T11:47:00.000-06:002016-08-30T11:49:00.025-06:00Don't Stay Up Late, or "Crazy Things Happen to Crazy People"

Time for another new Fear Street! <o:p></o:p>

I am liking the new Fear Street relaunch, in theory. The new books definitely look appropriately scary, anyways, and Don't Stay Up Late is no different. Girl alone in a darkened room, horrifying shadow pressing in behind her. It's creepy. Even the title, Don't Stay Up Late, gives a shivery warning, which makes it feel just a little bit naughty. The tagline: In the dead of night, the evil one awaits. That is effing creepy. So far I'm impressed. Does the substance of this newer, sexier Fear Street live up to its shiny wrapper? Wait and see …<o:p></o:p>

Part One<o:p></o:p>

Oh, lordy yes! Already divided into parts. This used to be how you could tell a super chiller from a regular Fear Street, it was separated into parts. Now, all the books have parts? We will roll with it.<o:p></o:p>

Enter Lisa, our heroine of the novel, who is new to town and self-identifies as a twisted psycho. An interesting way to introduce yourself, she'll fit right in at Shadyside High. Lisa has been at school for a month and already she has a best friend (Saralynn) and a boyfriend (Nate). Nate and Lisa met when she (accidentally) pushed him down a flight of stairs. It was love at first assault. They also have another friend, Isaac, who is described as chubby and funny, which pretty much ensures his death.<o:p></o:p>

She explains the night of the accident started off like any other. She was out with her friends at the local burger joint as Saralynn tells them that she wants to make a horror movie for a class project. And it just so happens that Nate is a horror film nut, with tons of movie posters and costumes in his attic. They all agree to be in this film. I love it, I can already see how things are going to go south here, crazy boyfriend, film becoming much too realistic.<o:p></o:p>

While they are chatting, Lisa confesses she snuck out of the house to be there as her parents are super overprotective. This is just as her dad comes storming into the diner and forces her to leave, causing her to die of embarrassment. Lisa behaves exactly like any other teen ever, and is a brat, fighting as they drive home. Her dad loses control of the car and they have a horrific accident.<o:p></o:p>

When Lisa wakes up, she's in a hospital bed. Her father is lying next to her, the steering column jammed through his skull. As she starts screaming again, her mom and nurses appear to calm her down and explain she's had some head trauma that is causing hallucinations. But she was right about one thing – her dad is not okay.<o:p></o:p>

Well, that is effing horrible. Rarely do Fear Streets start off with such genuine grief and horror. I'm feeling for Lisa. On top of losing her father, she's going to see horrific visions due to the brain trauma. That's just peachy.<o:p></o:p>

Part Two<o:p></o:p>

Lisa has started to see a psychiatrist to help deal with her grief and hallucinations. Dr. Shein doesn't think she's up for school yet. Just as an aside, I'm impressed that they all seem to be coping with their dead dad/husband quite well, as in their actually trying to deal with their loss. Like, she's having nightmares of his death after two weeks? No problem, that's normal. In old Fear Streets, you were supposed to get over death instantaneously. Grief must expire at the funeral, otherwise everyone acts like there is something wrong with you. <o:p></o:p>

Late one night, Lisa hears a dog howling under her window so goes out to find it. The world looks strange at night, and she sees a shadowy creature – standing on two legs, skinny, bald, with red glowing eyes, pig ears and snout and a row of fangs. Lisa figures she must be dreaming but she can't stop screaming, and the shadow creature grabs her …<o:p></o:p>

It was her mom, who's frantic that her daughter's sleepwalking in the middle of the night. Lisa wonders if she'll be crazy forever.<o:p></o:p>

The next morning she goes to Nate's and starts screaming because she sees a hideous green creature. It comes towards her and grabs her around the waist – it was Nate and he's all pleased with his joke, as Lisa is like – yup, I'll be crazy forever. They are filming Saralynn's horror film, using one of Nate's many horror costumes. Hmmm … like maybe with a weird pig mask with red eyes? Lisa gets a funny feeling that Nate and Saralynn are keeping something from her. Like how they are trying to make her even more crazy by torturing her with monster costumes?<o:p></o:p>

Lisa sees her shrink again, who lets her go to school and encourages her to get a job. She knows of a woman looking for a babysitter for her little boy, which would be perfect for Lisa. And they live on – dun dun DUN! – Fear Street.<o:p></o:p>

Part Three<o:p></o:p>

Isaac tries to convince her not to take the job. She's at his house, waiting for her other friends to arrive, listening to his horrible band rehearse. Isaac is wearing a (pop culture reference!) Vampire Weekend tshirt. Yay! I don't remember that many pop culture references from the older books – maybe I just didn't get them. Isaac stresses how much she should not go to Fear Street. He even gives a brief run down of the Fear/Goode curse and that they learn about it in school! Awesome. Lisa is mad that Isaac is such a downer. Then he behaves as all Fear Street men do and leans in to kiss her after trying to scare her. Nate arrives just then and Lisa doesn't know if he saw the kiss or not, but he doesn't mention anything. He does say that Brendan Fear is a good guy and Fear Street isn't so bad. He drives Lisa to meet her new boss, Brenda Hart.<o:p></o:p>

The babysitting job isn't hard – she's to pick up eight-year-old Harry from his aunt's house (where he's homeschooled) three days a week when Brenda has to work late, and the job pays really well. There are some signs that Harry is different – he's super self sufficient, there's no sign of a kid in the house, and he goes to bed very early. Brenda stresses how important it is that he doesn't stay up late. Lisa thinks Harry is adorable, but Brenda warns Lisa to NEVER let Harry stay up late. She's very intense about this. Her reason is because he would be cranky the next day. Haha, as a mom, I totally get this.

Lisa gets a call from Summer Lawson, Nate's ex. Summer warns Lisa that she's in lots of trouble because of Nate, then hangs up. Alright, Lisa is getting creepy on all sides here.<o:p></o:p>

The next day she goes to pick Harry up, first day on the job, and once again thinks how angelic he is. Lisa hears what sounds like sobbing from Harry's aunt's basement, but the aunt says it's just the cat.<o:p></o:p>

Nate calls her while she's babysitting to see how it's going and Lisa tells him about the weird call from Summer. Nate gets cagey when she asks him where he is and he just says "out." Hmmm, following his cheating heart or getting ready to terrify his girlfriend? Given that it's Fear Street, I'll take door number two …<o:p></o:p>

Lisa drifts off on the couch as she does her homework, only to be awoken by tapping upstairs. She sees a figure at the top of the stairs – she chases it to Harry's room where it jumps out the window. It looks up at her and she sees the same demon face as before.<o:p></o:p>

Harry isn't in his room and she's full out panicking, until he makes a noise at the front of the house. He was hiding in the front closet all along. Lisa doesn't tell Brenda about the demon intruder because she doesn't want to lose the job. That's some crazy logic. I'd be like: fuck you and this crazy house, I am out of here.<o:p></o:p>

She does tell her mom, Nate, and her shrink about what she saw, and not one of them believes her. Dr. Shein wants to put her on medication for her hallucinations.<o:p></o:p>

Friday night, she goes to hear Isaac's band playing. They talk about their fake IDs and their club outfits – the place is open to teens because a teen band is playing, but Nate has to use his ID to get beers. Nate snuggles into Lisa's neck and it sends a chill down her spine, but in a good way, I guess? Lisa likes that kind of thing. Saralynn cryptically tells her there's a lot she doesn't know about Nate. To reiterate this, Summer Lawson approaches her and warns her about Nate, but Lisa thinks everyone is just jelly. She's the only one who's getting his spine-chilling caresses! Nate comes to kiss her again and she gets another chill when his cold lips find hers – Fear Street is so hot.<o:p></o:p>

Summer calls her again when she's babysitting, but she doesn't answer. Later on Lisa hears footsteps in the kitchen and freezes in fear – the demon! She goes to call 911, but her cell phone is dead – of course it is! Half of horror stuff can't happen when there's proper communication. She makes a mental note to ask Brenda for an iPhone charger. Then she goes back to being terrified.<o:p></o:p>

Never mind, it was just Nate, creeping around. He wanted to make her feel better about the intruder last time by breaking in himself. Good to know some things haven't changed in Fear Street and boys still behave like stalkers. Lisa goes to check on Harry, and when she comes back down, Nate is gone.<o:p></o:p>

The only person there is the demon creature! It spit green goo at her and runs out the back door. She hears screaming outside but doesn't see anyone.<o:p></o:p>

When her babysitting shift is over, Nate comes back to pick her up. He has blood and scratches on his face he can't explain. As they leave, they see something across the street. It's Summer Lawson's body, her stomach ripped open and bite marks all over her.<o:p></o:p>

Part Four<o:p></o:p>

At the police station, Lisa is told Summer was torn apart and eaten by a human, yuck. Lisa tells the police about the creature and is shamed by everyone, because they are all a bunch of assholes. But Lisa is beginning to suspect that Nate is into more than just horror movies. <o:p></o:p>

Once she has Harry again, it is reiterated that he absolutely can't stay up late. Now they're telling her he gets seizures if he doesn't have enough sleep. You would think that's kind of pertinent information.<o:p></o:p>

When Harry is in bed, Lisa peeks through some family albums on the shelves and finds a photo of a family reunion that includes both Saralynn and Nate. She calls Saralynn with the evidence and Saralynn confesses they are all second cousins, Nate just didn't want to tell her.<o:p></o:p>

On Friday, she picks up Harry, and this time her friends come over and they study together – I guess it's okay because they are related to Brenda and Harry? Nate leaves to see if he can find Isaac. Right after that, Lisa sees the creature, but Saralynn calmly tells her nothing is there. She's totally gaslighting her, right? Lisa runs to check on Harry – he's gone too.<o:p></o:p>

As they search for him, she hears a fight outside, then screaming and runs out to see the creature running away. It left something behind – Isaac's mangled body, half-eaten. Yuck again.<o:p></o:p>

At the police station, once again no one believes her and call her crazy. Saralynn explains she didn't see a creature. But, like, there was still the body, right? A hallucination didn't do that. Dr. Shein thinks that Lisa should be better by now – ouch. She puts her on medication and threatens her with a mental hospital.<o:p></o:p>

Lisa has had about enough. She doesn't take the meds and decides that Nate is the killer. Just then Brenda calls, because she needs an overnight sitter. Lisa thinks she can find something at the house. She searches all the photo albums for clues, and finds a letter from Harry's former babysitter, Joy, explaining she was having nightmares from her time at their house and had to quit.<o:p></o:p>

Lisa goes to see Joy from the address on the letter, only to be told she was at a mental hospital. Damn. Joy looks normal, but freaks out when Lisa mentions Harry. She keeps shrieking "he's a demon," while Lisa is like "oh, so you know Nate?" Lisa is not exactly the sharpest tool in a Fear Street mental institute.<o:p></o:p>

The next day with Harry, because Lisa keeps going back despite the pile of disemboweled bodies, he forgets his backpack at his aunt's house so Lisa goes back to get it. She hears screaming at the aunt's house, and follows the sound to the basement, where there are three creatures like the one she saw, in cages. So, it's a family of demon breeders? She's all like, yay, proof, but doesn't take an effing picture, because that would be too easy. She gets Harry home, calls the police, then leaves Harry by himself to go see what happens at the aunt's. But when she arrives, there's nothing in the basement and everyone is pissed. Lisa realizes she's about thisclose to rooming with Joy. She lets Harry stay up late and that's when the shit hits the fan. His eyes glow and roll back in his head as he turns into the demon and tries to eat her.<o:p></o:p>

Brenda comes home and is remarkably calm, is just mad at Lisa for letting Harry stay up late. She can't let Lisa go, now that she knows about their family and how they raise demons. There is no explanation as to why they are raising demons. Or why they would rely on a bunch of teenage girls to keep these demons in check. Seriously, what is Brenda doing on those nights that's more important than not letting the demon out? Anyways, Harry is special because he can take human form. Brenda then tries to stab her in the chest. Nate comes in and saves her and Lisa escapes.<o:p></o:p>

Lisa is at Dr. Shein's, telling her everything. Of course Shein is in on the whole thing and plans to have her institutionalized because she knows too much. Lisa was chosen for the job because she was already hallucinating since her accident.<o:p></o:p>

But, haha, Lisa was on FaceTime the whole time with all of the police officers outside the door, and they watched Shein's entire confession. FaceTime ftw! Lisa had figured out Shein's involvement because she had referred her in the beginning. Lisa and her mom get to go home. Nate and Saralynn disappeared in the night, as does anyone else in connection with the demons. <o:p></o:p>

All is well in the world. Lisa gets a job at a daycare and really likes it. Until one day an angelic little boy comes in, looking exactly like Harry. He's not Harry, but he does want to stay up late …<o:p></o:p>

Okay the final word on this is that it started off with such promise, and ended up being really cheesy. I mean, the whole demon breeding thing doesn't make any sense. I guess I'm expecting too much, but I think the whole thing would have been much creepier if her friends had actually been trying to drive her crazy while filming it. That would have been genuinely horrifying. And while little kids can be uber creepy, once Harry turned into a demon, all I could imagine was some kind of cheesy old school horror movie, like creature from the black lagoon, especially with the spitting of green goo.<o:p></o:p>

   But hey, I'm just happy that there are new Fear Streets out there! I give this book 4 cheesy swamp monsters out of nine. L. K. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-2245065580291075352014-11-02T12:44:00.002-07:002016-02-10T01:13:07.323-07:00Party Games or "Get to the Escape Canoe!"

Welcome back Fear Street fans!<o:p></o:p>

As you can see below, L.K. Stine has already posted her recap of Party Games. We figured since the new books will be so few and far between, no one would mind if we both reviewed. I also didn't want L.K.'s post to influence me, so I haven't read her recap yet. <o:p></o:p>

First off: The cover is good, in the sense that it looks pretty creepy. Dilapidated stairs full of old balloons? Perfect. Although I do miss the 90's covers, with the illustrations of teenagers and their amazing 90's fashion. Don't worry though, there is a lot of discussion about 2014 fashion in Party Games. R.L. really liked to dropping fashion knowledge like "skinny jeans" and "tangerine jackets". Tagline: "Are you dying to party?" Yes! It makes sense. I love it. So many fond memories of Fear Street are flooding back.<o:p></o:p>

And there's a lot of familiar Fear Street trends in this book too. Such as our main character: Rachel. Rachel is poor, hard-working, and pretty (but not too pretty). She goes to school, then works for hours every day after school at a local restaurant, Lefty's, then goes home to study until she passes out. Her best friend is a sort-of pudgy red-haired girl named Amy. Aren't they all? Seriously, there are so many red-heads in Shadyside. <o:p></o:p>

Part One<o:p></o:p>

The book opens with Rachel working at Lefty's and serving some kids from her school, including her crush, Brendan FEAR. He's sitting with Kerry, Patti and Eric (warning! There are so many characters in this book. Feel free to ignore their names). Turns out they're planning Brendan's upcoming birthday party. And even though Rachel and Brendan have barely ever talked, he invites her to his party. An all-night party at his cabin on Fear Island. She's super jazzed. (Note about Brendan. He is always wearing black jeans, and video game t-shirts. …is that cool now?)<o:p></o:p>

"DON'T GO." This is Amy, town buzzkill, telling her best friend not to go to a party with her crush. Yeah right, Amy. <o:p></o:p>

Amy and Rachel walk home after work, and when Rachel gets home, she sees that her front door is wide open. After a search of the house turns up nothing, they decide it must be that pesky wind. That is, until Rachel finds a dead rat in her bed! She immediately blames it on her ex-boyfriend, Mac. Well, she calls him her ex-boyfriend, then mentions that she just stopped responding to his calls or texts and stopped seeing him. So. Not saying he's a nice guy, especially since Rachel thinks he's the type of person to stuff a dead rat in a bed, but… did she even dump him? Cold, Rachel, cold.<o:p></o:p>

Rachel hilariously monologues to herself: "Mac, you can frighten me. But you can't ruin my life. I'm going to Brendan Fear's birthday party. It's going to be the greatest all-night party ever." Remember when parties were the biggest deal in your life? Like even bigger than discovering someone broke into your house and left a dead rat in your bed? Teens. Don't ever change!<o:p></o:p>

Rachel goes to meet Amy at a basketball game and runs into Eric from the night before. Eric is the class clown – always making jokes and hitting on girls, but no one takes him too seriously and loves him for it. Amy calls and says her parents grounded her so Rachel leaves to go visit her.

I'd like to stop here and discuss something weird that I noticed. Rachel talks and thinks SO much about people and situations that didn't have to do with the plot of the book. Case in point: she spends so long explaining Amy's weird home life and relationships with her parents, and then Amy isn't in the book! Other ones I noticed: Rachel talks about her sister Beth constantly, so much so, that I thought maybe Beth was dead, and Rachel was crazy (I think that was a Fear Street book at one point); Rachel also talk about Eric all the time. I get it. He's a lovable doof. My only thought is that maybe this series is connected, similar to Fear Street Seniors. If R.L. is laying the groundwork for the next few books, I'll be really impressed. If not, well, I won't be too surprised.<o:p></o:p>

Anyway, Rachel leaves the game and is accosted by Mac. Mac Attack! is what I called it in my head. Mac is described as a young Brad Pitt with blonde hair, blue eyes and skinny jeans. He also tells her not to go, saying he "knows what's being planned". Rachel finally wrenches herself away, with Mac falling over in the process. When she looks back, he's sitting up and shaking his fist at her. Classic!<o:p></o:p>

Part one ends with Rachel having a scary dream. I hate dream sequences. As a friend once told me, "why would I care about a dream? It's a weird story that didn't happen. No thanks." (This was directly after I told him about a dream I had). It was about a rat or whatever. I skimmed.<o:p></o:p>

Part Two<o:p></o:p>

There is a huge catamaran to take the kids over to the island on the day of the party. They even have a boat captain, Randy. There are a lot of introductions, since there are so many GD characters in this story! Here are the names: Kerry, Patti and Eric are there again. New characters are April, Delia, Geena, Spider (Robby) and Brendan's two cousins that don't know anyone. I barely kept track of them. <o:p></o:p>

As soon as they disembark at the island dock, Randy the boat captain has an accident. He slips and hits his head and then falls into the water. And doesn't resurface. AND NO ONE DOES ANYTHING. There are two Fear employees there, Miguel and Antonio, (servants I guess?) and one of them makes a half-hearted attempt to rescue Randy, while the other one leads the way to the cabin. What?It just seemed too weird that all the teenagers were like, "yeah… I'm sure this employee can mount a rescue attempt by themselves". So bothersome.<o:p></o:p>

They have to hike a bit to get to the cabin, which is actually a giant, creepy mansion. As they are putting their stuff away, April suddenly mentions that she found a dead squirrel in her bed. Wha? Geena found a dead raccoon! The girls are way too nonchalant about these dead animals. They decide it was someone who wanted to scare them away from the party. Why aren't they more worried that they know someone that would do that!? Also, Rachel is wearing a tangerine jacket. That will be relevant.<o:p></o:p>

They go downstairs to the ballroom, which looks like the ballroom from Beauty and the Beast. Brendan is there, and tells them that Randy the boat captain is fine, and it's time to get trashed! They have a giant feast, as well as a full service bar, since it's his 18th birthday. In my notes, I wrote down a quote from Brendan: "Are you into torture?" Rachel WAS into it. And I remember zero other context, so I'm going to leave it at that. Rachel just thinks it's the best day ever!<o:p></o:p>

Until she goes to the bathroom and hears someone that sounds suspiciously like Randy screaming for help. She goes to find him, but Antonio and Miguel, el creepo workers, block her path and tell her everything is fine. Rachel is really freaked out. Remember when she thought it was the best day of her life a few minutes ago? She also keeps thinking about Eric and how he's both funny and annoying. This strain of thought literally goes nowhere. <o:p></o:p>

She joins back up with the group and they open up the envelopes they were given when they arrived. It contains a scavenger hunt list! See, Brendan wants to spend time playing retro games, so he had his employees (servants?) hide a bunch of weirdo crap around the house and now they'll find it! April pipes up and asks if dead squirrel is on the list. She accuses Brendan of doing it. Brendan claims innocent, then launches into a story about his great aunt Victoria, who lived out on the island by herself and was really into taxidermy. Apparently she ended up stuffing herself! Right.<o:p></o:p>

Geena still thinks Brendan did it to put them "in the scary mood". No one else pipes up, so we don't know if they: 1) believe the taxidermy ghost did it, 2) Brendan did it (crazy-pants), or 3) someone did it to warn them. And yet, they move on, like all those possibilities are totally normal. WTF.<o:p></o:p>

Much to Rachel's excitement, her and Brendan are partnered for the scavenger hunt. He takes her to the top floor of the mansion in an elevator! (side note, I knew a guy who had an elevator in his cabin. Rich people are weird.) The elevator gets stuck, causing Rachel and every single claustrophobe reading this book to panic. But, JUST KIDDING, Brendan did it as a joke so he could kiss Rachel. She swoons, although I'm not sure if it's due to romance or relief.<o:p></o:p>

As they're exploring the upstairs, Rachel and Brendan get separated and Rachel finds a bat nest. Gross. She runs around trying to find Brendan and finds him…hung from the ceiling. Dun dun dunnnnn!<o:p></o:p>

Nope! It's just another R.L. trick. It was a mannequin, but it's dressed like Brendan, and has a little note attached: "ANYONE FOR A GAME OF HANGMAN?" They are all "hmm that's odd" when they hear screams coming from another part of the house. All the other kids are gathering in another room, and Patti is at the centre. Dead. For real this time! We see no cause of death other than her limbs are all twisted and she's covered in blood. Her note reads "Twister, anyone?" Brendan pronounces her dead.<o:p></o:p>

Part Three <o:p></o:p>

The next events happen pretty quickly, and since this post is getting crazy long, I'll skim a bit. They realize that there is a psycho murderer, but Brendan points out that they have no cell reception, or phones to call for help. And he says they can't leave the island since their boat captain is incapacitated with a concussion from his fall. I guess… although I would rather try to figure out how to sail (drive? ride?) a catamaran on a lake then be stuck on an island with a murderer. Just me, maybe. <o:p></o:p>

Then the lights go out. They try to find the chest of flashlights, but they are all gone. The teens start panicking, and Brendan is mysteriously quiet when they demand to know if Randy is really alive. The lights come back on so they check the security camera footage. They see two masked men with shotguns arrive at the house a few hours previously. Uh, shit. They decide that enough is enough and go down to the docks to take their chances with the boat. Except! All the Fear mansion workers are on the boat and sailing away! Wait, were they going to leave the workers there while they escaped? Justice. <o:p></o:p>

They realize another member of their party is missing – Kerry, who was Patti's boyfriend. They start looking for him in the construction zone of some renovations. Rachel spots him under a bunch of concrete slabs. His note says "I was never any good at Jenga". Damn! Brendan also pronounces Kerry dead, which seems a bit unnecessary, since they are all staring at his body under a bunch of concrete slabs.<o:p></o:p>

Rachel is kinda freaking out, but instead of staying with the group, she decides to go into the house by herself to get a drink of water. The house where two of her friends were just murdered by two intruders. She walks past a room where she sees a light on…she investigates closer…and basically falls into the room. Smooth, Rachel.<o:p></o:p>

And she's walked in on an old-timey ghost! Man, R.L. has just PACKED this book. The table in the room is covered with animals and animal parts. The ghost is a woman, all grey and spooky. But worst of all, the woman is sewing her skin together. Sick. This ghost is clearly Great Aunt Victoria of crazy taxidermy fame. Rachel screams and goes to find the group. She takes them back to the room of animal parts, but nothing is there. Ooooooh damn! Is Rachel cracking? (Also, are we supposed to think the ghost is killing people? Or the two intruders? Too much is going on here). <o:p></o:p>

Outside the room, Rachel sees a blur run past at the end of the hall. But she recognizes the hair of the blur – It's Mac! Are we in for another Mac Attack? She follows Mac, but doesn't catch up. It's then that she realizes someone is rushing towards her in a ski mask!<o:p></o:p>

Nope. It's just Brendan and the shadows made his face seem ski-mask-y. They hear more screams and run to find their friends around Eric's body. His feet are jammed at the top of a ladder and his face is all purple near the floor. They think for a second he might be alive because his hand twitches but no, Brendan examines him and declares him dead too. His note reads: "Chutes and Ladders isn't always a baby game".<o:p></o:p>

As Rachel is emo-ing about how she'll never hear another one of Eric's hilarious jokes again (seriously, she talked about him all the time), she's grabbed from behind. By Mac! Mac Attack! But no, he's not attacking her. He tells her he followed them here in a canoe and they can escape now. Rachel won't go with him though. Probably since he won't explain what he's doing there, what's going on, and also because he followed her in a canoe. Creep. He sees something behind Rachel that spooks him and runs off into the darkness of the mansion. SO WEIRD.<o:p></o:p>

Brendan takes the surviving members of the party to the theatre to regroup. Brendan says a weird little speech about this being the "final curtain" and pulls back the curtain to reveal their three friends bodies heaped on the stage. (What kind of house has a stage?) Gasp! So Brendan was the killer all along?<o:p></o:p>

NOPE! They aren't dead. Patti, Kerry and Eric rise up all zombie like, then basically shout surprise. Yup, it was all a creepy joke. What. The. Fuck. <o:p></o:p>

Everything that happened that night has been a joke. The dead animals in the girls beds, Randy falling, the servants leaving, the horrific deaths, the bats… everything. Randy shows up, along with a cousin of Brendan's who's dressed like the ghost of Great Aunt Victoria. Seriously, Brendan planned everything to scare the shit out of his friends. Rachel can't decide if he's a creative genius or dangerous sicko. UM, I CAN ANSWER THAT FOR YOU, RACHEL.<o:p></o:p>

Just then, two masked men burst through the door. They start yelling at everyone and Brendan tells them to knock it off. But they just punch Brendan. Brendan clues in that these are not the two men he hired to scare everyone (or maybe they are, and are just taking advantage of this remote location?). The masked men hustle everyone besides Brendan and Rachel into the basement and declare this party a good old-fashioned kidnapping!<o:p></o:p>

Part Four<o:p></o:p>

How is this book still going? The intruders, who are referred to as "Blue Eyes" and "the pudgy one" discuss how Brendan's dad, Oliver Fear fired Blue Eyes and this kidnapping is his revenge and money-making scheme. Things are going swimmingly for the kidnappers until… MAC ATTACK! Mac bursts in and demands the kidnappers let Brendan and Rachel go. Not sure why they would listen to him… Anyway, in the ensuing struggle, one of the rifles go off, and Mac is shot. Brendan and Rachel heartlessly use this distraction to escape! Using the loud, old elevator to bring them to the top of the house! WTF. No part of that is a good plan. Are there no stairs in this house? Come to think of it, I don't remember ever reading about stairs, only this terribly loud elevator.

Unsurprisingly, as soon as they reach the top, the elevator is called back down to the patiently waiting kidnappers.<o:p></o:p>

So they climb a tree to get down to the ground floor. WHY didn't they just run out of the house in the first place! So frustrating. They run through the woods, get separated and lost, then Rachel falls into a pit of BONES (which by the way, is never explained). She has to make a pile of human bones so she can climb out of this pit of digustingness. Rachel finally makes her way to the dock, but can't find Mac's canoe. She hears someone coming through the woods, and instead of running back into the woods at a different spot, Rachel chooses to wade into the water and hide underneath the dock. OMG Rachel, you deserve to die basically. How far away could the trees have been, that this is a better plan?<o:p></o:p>

The person ends up being Mac, who can clearly see her since he immediately knows she's there. So dumb. Mac wasn't actually shot but pretended so Rachel could escape. Is creepy canoe Mac the real hero of this book? He tells her to follow him to where he hid his escape canoe, and Rachel is relieved her nightmare will be over soon (Fuck Brendan, I guess?).<o:p></o:p>

NOPE! Mac returns her to the kidnappers, who caught Brendan. Turns out, Blue Eyes is Mac's father and that's why he looked kinda familiar to Rachel. Mac tells her he had to bring her back because she "recognized his father". Too bad Mac didn't realize that Rachel is much too dumb to recognize anyone, and he brought her back for no reason. Rachel and Brendan escape again, although I can't remember how. Rachel runs and finds the canoe, but old Blue Eyes catches up with her again and shoots the canoe full of holes to sink it. He marches her back to the mansion at gunpoint. During this walk, Rachel has a disturbing fantasy that she kills him, but I won't bore you with the details since it's another dream sequences. No thanks!<o:p></o:p>

Once back at the house, the pudgy kidnapper presses Blue Eyes to kill Brendan and Rachel now that they know their identities. Blue Eyes is resistant so Pudgy runs at Rachel with a knife – and cuts off her ponytail! Ack, there are way too many fake-outs in this book. <o:p></o:p>

Suddenly! The police burst in! They seem kinda weirded out by the situation, but Brendan yells that the three men are kidnappers and need to be handcuffed. The police awkwardly put Blue Eyes, Pudgy and Mac in to handcuffs. Rachel (and I) are super confused. Brendan just kind of laughs and tells her those were two actors that he hired for the night to scare his friends. He guesses they must have been super late. And then tells her their guns are fake! Seems like a dangerous gamble to make the actors take, Brendan. Well, he's clearly insane and doesn't give a fuck about anyone, so that seems par for the course. Rachel and Brendan make out, obviously. Shouldn't they be letting their friends of the basement now?<o:p></o:p>

We cut to Rachel back at work at Lefty's and probably suffering from some pretty severe PTSD. R.L. actually kinda mentions that she's messed up over it. Her sister, Beth, comes in to visit her and she's so excited. They share one scene together, and that's it. Rachel spent so much time talking about Beth throughout this book, and all they do is hug in Lefty's. I sincerely hope Beth is in another Fear Street book, otherwise, half of Rachel's inner thoughts were for no reason.

<o:p></o:p>

One last part. Yes, this book is STILL NOT OVER. Rachel had been wearing a super cool tangerine jacket at the party, but had taken it off at some point during the night. She makes Brendan take her back to that house of NIGHTMARES for this stupid jacket. Girl, buy yourself something else and call it a day. She goes searching through the house by herself. And what does she find? A g-g-g-ghost!!<o:p></o:p>

Yes, she walks in on Great Aunt Victoria Fear again; only this time, it's apparently a real ghost. She is also sewing her skin together really creepily (probably the only way you can sew yourself together) and surrounded by dead animal parts. And she's wearing the tangerine jacket! Rachel runs to get Brendan but when they come back, the animals and the ghost are gone. But her tangerine jacket is left in ball on the floor. Rachel tries to tell Brendan what she say and he goes "You don't believe those crazy stories – do you?" FIN.<o:p></o:p>

I don't know Brendan, seems like you may have totally fucked Rachel up, so maybe don't be so judgemental. A few final unanswered questions. Is Rachel smart enough to BURN that jacket as soon as she gets home? Probably not. Why would she even take it? Also: Where did Brendan and his friends get the dead animals that they stuffed in Rachel's bed? Did they…kill the animals themselves? Or go look for some? WTF. What happened with the police ACTORS and the kidnappers? Did the actors just take them back to Shadyside in their non-police boat? And drive them to a police station? <o:p></o:p>

So many questions. Such a long book! I don't think Fear Streets ever need to be 275 pages. I can't decide if I loved this book, hated this book, or hated it so much I loved it. I mean the plot was crazy and way too long and unnecessarily complicated. But it did fill me with so much happiness to read a new Fear Street. And I can't wait for the next one. Hopefully we get a release date soon for the next one!<o:p></o:p>

Party Games gets 67 newly-haunted tangerine jackets out of 111. Hope you enjoyed this crazy long post!<o:p></o:p>

A.M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-76537844299941323302014-10-31T05:55:00.000-06:002016-02-09T07:03:53.994-07:00Party Games, or "Murder Isn't a Game, Right?"

Hello all Fear Street lurvers, and Happy Halloween! And what a treat we have this Halloween, what with R. L.'s NEW Fear Street book. Y'all can probably imagine the joy this book has brought to us at Shadyside headquarters. R. L., you are amazing. Please don't ever stop again, we love every last cheesy, terrifying word.

Let's get right into it. That's what you're here for, right? A recap on the first new Fear Street book since … I should know this. Luckily Wikipedia does all the work for me and he hasn't published a Fear Street since 2005. The good news? Guys, this book is good. It will not disappoint. I felt like it had everything I can hope for in a Fear Street book, and then some.

The bad news? There isn't any. Everything is wonderful.

I'm going to put a little spoiler alert up here, which I normally don't do because we assume everyone already read the Fear Streets when they were twelve. But this, Party Games, this is new. Maybe some of you are like A. M. and I and pre-ordered your copy, but maybe you didn't and haven't actually read this yet. But there are spoilers here – this is a recap, not a review. Also, sorry for the length. I got excited.

Part One

Party Games takes place in the present. There's all kinds of awesome things you find in 2014, like Facebook, and texting, and Netflix. Obviously every teen has a cell phone, so I can't wait to find all the creative ways to get around this problem – most things that happen in horror books or movies could have been easily prevented by some solid communications, so we'll see how this plays out. I'd actually love to see R. L. use technology as part of the horror sometime – idk, like ghost cyber bullying? That would be cool.

I really felt like this book was setting up Shadyside as it is today. There was a lot of time spent introducing people, some who played zero part in the plot whatsoever. I'm hoping that this is the "cast" of characters who's going to be in each of the novels – I loved it when a character you already knew from an older book turned up in a new one, even if it's just a cameo. It doesn't have to be Seniors styles, but I like to keep up with who's going out with who.

There is a Fear at Shadyside High – I think that might be the biggest deal of all here. Other than in the Seniors books, I don't think a Fear had ever gone to Shadyside, and I like it. It means that the creepy Fear family is going to have a much more active role in the hauntings of the town.

Our fearless main character of this inaugural book is Rachel. She is poor, but newly poor, and pretty. In the world of Shadyside, being poor and ugly is usually a death sentence, but I think things balance out and she'll be okay. Her father used to be a director of an investment company, but now is a shift manager at Walmart. I'm assuming due to the recession? I like the realistic tone here. Rachel's mom is recovering from a bad bout of Lyme disease, which seems like a really random disease to have.

So Rachel is picking up the slack by working at the popular burger joint all the kids hang out at, Lefty's. She works hard and is often sweaty and covered in grease, things that can be a real drag when you're trying to make it in high school.

She is in love with Brendan Fear, who is smart, handsome and popular. I also like that the Fear kid isn't some scary goth – that fits in way too much with what we'd expect. Brendan is super into video games and there are rumours he's already working to program his own games.

His father is Oliver Fear, an investment banker and billionaire, and it looks like he runs the town with money and power. He built an enormous stone mansion on Fear Street for all the towns people to be in awe of.

Rachel is working a busy shift when Brendan enters the burger joint, along with some of the who's who in Shadyside High: Kerry, a jock, and his girlfriend Patti, a beautiful girl who looks like a doll, who Rachel knows from childhood. Rounding out their little group is Eric, a joker, who's always flirting with Rachel.

As he leaves, Brendan invites Rachel to his 18thbirthday party, an all-night thing at his family's estate on Fear Island.

In walks Amy, Rachel's best friend, who warns Rachel not to go to the party, because she's heard wild things happen there. Rachel's pretty much like, are you kidding, the man of my dreams wants to do wild things, I'm there. Amy is introduced: chubby and redheaded, all bad signs when it comes to survival. But she doesn't really play a significant part in the book at all, so I'm hoping she's being introduced for later.

It comes out that Rachel has a boyfriend – sort of. Mac's the good looking bad boy who transferred to Shadyside High last year for fighting issues. She's been trying to ditch Mac for awhile, which means she changed her FB profile from "In a relationship" to "It's complicated." A sure sign things are over! But she's not being a bitch, actually she's scared of him because he has a bad temper and can be controlling and possessive, she's not sure he won't get violent with her. Oh yes, the Fear Street abusive relationship. It did not take long for that to get in there. However, I feel that R. L. is much more sensitive about the subject matter now. As opposed to making Rachel horny, Mac's possessiveness makes her wonder if he's a psycho. Literally, one of the chapters is charmingly called "Is Mac A Psycho?" It made me laugh. But she does find a dead rat in her bed and suspects that Mac put in there, so clearly she needs to be away from this boy.

Rachel goes to a high school basketball game, where she flirts with Eric, then is accosted by Mac outside, who warns her not to go to Brendan's party. She breaks up with him unequivocably, which is pretty awesome. Props to her for using her words.

Part Two

All the invitees to the party hop aboard a catamaran, which will take them to Fear Island. She sits with Patti, Kerry and Eric. There are some other kids aboard, some from her high school, but she's surprised at what a small crowd it is and wonders why Brendan invited her. Mac hides in the bushes and watches them leave, like a great big stalker.

They sail by the Fear House that's been built on the island, basically a three-storey mansion of evil. I love it when people refer to their "little cottage by the lake" when they know it's eighteen times the size of your house. They have to hike through the woods to get to the house from the lake, and are led by guides Antonio and Miguel.

The pilot of the boat, Randy (aside: isn't it the captain of the boat? Or is that just me, I know nothing about boats), slips off the dock and falls into the lake, hitting his head on the way in. Randy doesn't come up, only a big pool of blood. The two guides say they'll take care of it and the kids are hustled along the path towards the house. Already there's an ominous atmosphere of tension and dread. Good. Oh, and conveeeeniently, there's no cell reception on Fear Island. Of course there isn't.

The staff does a poor job of pretending all is well, looking shifty and harassed, while they show the kids to their rooms where they can freshen up. Rachel shares with two other girls, April and Geena. As they talk, the discover that each of them found roadkill in their beds – wonder if it's a warning.

They meet with everyone in the ballroom, lit entirely by candles. If they knew the Fear's history, they probably wouldn't have been so keen to light everything by fire!

Brendan is at the centre of the room, welcoming them. He tells them Randy is fine and they need to start partying. There's beer – he mentions 18 is legal in their state, is that true? I thought all of the states was a 21 age minimum (ridiculous, by the way). He has two cousins there, Kenny and Morton. Also, there is way more food there than people, which makes Rachel wonder what's going on.

Anyway, Brendan says he wants to party like his ancestors. This should be a flashing red light. They didn't party in a safe way at all. But apparently he just means old-fashioned games.

Rachel gets a beer (ooh, naughty) and Brendan comes over to talk with her. Rachel's a bit of a flirt, and she pours it on for Brendan, who eats it up. Awww, young love. She's flying pretty high, but excuses herself to the bathroom. There, she hears someone screaming for help, a young man that sounds an awful lot like Randy. When she tries to find him, her way is politely but firmly blocked my two servants, who shoo her away.

When she returns, the games have begun. They'll play a scavenger hunt, looking for a list of creepy items hidden throughout the mansion. Brendan warns the attic is haunted. Delia, one of the girls, wants to go to the attic with Eric – Delia might be related to Suki, who undoubtedly would have a near-adult child by now. I hope Delia is the new Suki of Fear Street!

They are assigned partners, and Rachel is matched up with Brendan – he had the servants hide everything, so he could still play.

Before they leave, some of the girls accuse Brendan of the roadkill in bed, to scare them. Brendan goes white and shares one of his family's secret ghost stories: his great-aunt Victoria had one love in life, taxidermy. She would stuff everything. She used to hide dead animals in unwanted guests' beds, which is just so charming. She eventually stuffed herself, right there in the house.

Another Fear family story is passed around: about a hundred years ago, the Fear family hunted down all of their servants on this very island, for sport, and left their bodies in a hidden mass grave.

No need to worry about that, though. Brendan and Rachel set out, and he takes her to a hidden elevator. Their advantage falls short when it breaks down and everything goes dark. Brendan uses this time to make out with Rachel – he had actually turned off the elevator himself. Rachel is loving this party.

The couple get separated on the third floor, where Rachel is attacked by bats. She finally finds Brendan … hanging from the rafters. Underneath his body is a note:

ANYONE FOR A GAME OF HANGMAN?

Brendan comes running at Rachel's scream. The hanged body is a mannequin, dressed in Brendan's clothes. They think it's a sick joke, until they hear another scream.

They find everyone freaking out in a bedroom, standing over Patti's broken body, her limbs all contorted. Her note says:

TWISTER, ANYONE?

Only it's not a joke, Patti is really dead.

Part Three

Everyone wants to get the hell off the island and call the police. As they are all freaking out, the lights go out, leading to more freaking out. Brendan leads them to a cabinet where the flashlights are kept, but they've disappeared. The lights come back on and they begin to suspect they're being toyed with.

Brendan remembers there's a security camera. They go check it out and see two masked men enter with hunting rifles a few hours earlier.

Time to get out of there. They make a run for the boat, only to see the catamaran leaving the dock, full of all the servants. They are left behind, alone with the hunters who seem keen on killing them off one by one. A crash is heard from behind the house.

A storm has blown in and no one can concentrate in the wind and rain. Rachel suggests they go back to the house. They can be hunted anywhere, but at least they'll have shelter there. I'm not sure if I'm down with the logic, but okay. They go back, and discover Kerry is missing. They search around the back of the house, where there's a construction area where work is being done on the house. Underneath a slab of concrete that's been pushed over, is Kerry's crushed lifeless body.

I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD AT JENGA

Everyone agrees the whole thing is sick (good consensus). Brendan tries to comfort Rachel, but she runs out to get some air. She stumbles into the library and discovers she's not alone. A woman is there, all grey, surrounded by mist and animal parts. She's sewing up her own side – it's Victoria Fear!

Rachel freaks, gets everyone to come back to the library, which they find empty. Rachel looks completely insane. She runs away again, embarrassed and scared. Brendan finds her, kisses her and tells her no one will hurt her.

More screaming. Eric has been found strangled, dangling off a ladder.

CHUTES AND LADDERS ISN'T ALWAYS A BABY GAME

Rachel backs away, is grabbed from behind. It's Mac, telling her she has to go with him, but Brendan interrupts and Mac flees.

Brendan gathers everyone in a theatre room to calm down. He pulls the curtains up to show the pile of their friends' bodies. And the bodies start to move. Everyone screams, then gets angry/relieved as they realized it was all an elaborate plank. Brendan is killing himself laughing. He planned everything; calls the game Total Panic. A girl in heavy grey makeup comes in – the ghost of Victoria Fear was actually his cousin Karen. Rachel wonders if Brendan pretended liking her as well.

The two men in masks and rifles come in. Brendan tells them they're late, but when they don't respond he realizes something is wrong – they're not the hired actors.

Part Four

One of the men looks familiar to Rachel. They start to rough up the kids, rounding them up and locking them in the basement, except for Brendan and Rachel. One of the guys has been laid off by Oliver Fear and wants to hold his kid for ransom.

They go to tie up Rachel and Brendan, but Mac busts in and tells them to give it up. Mac is shot. In the chaos, Rachel and Brendan make a run for it, heading to the elevator, then shimmying out a window down a tree to freedom. They run for Mac's canoe at the docks but lose each other in the woods. Rachel hears a gunshot and hears the men saying they got the boy.

She runs blindly and falls into a pit of human bones. Instead of freaking out, she decides she's going to survive. She piles up the bones and uses them to climb out of the pit. I like how strong and resourceful Rachel is, I'm a fan of this character. She makes a break for the lake, but doesn't find the canoe. Hearing the men coming up behind her, she hides in the lake under the dock. The men don't find her, but she hears a familiar voice calling her – Mac! He faked being shot to give them a chance to escape. He says he'll take her to the canoe.

Only to lead her back to the men, who have Brendan alive but tied up. One of the men is Mac's father! At first Mac wanted to protect Rachel, but now apparently he wants to protect his father. There's a lot of confusion and the other man wants to kill Rachel, they get into a fight and in the mix, Rachel's ponytail is cut off, which, as it turns out, is the only fatality in the book.

Just then, two cops show up, guns pointed. The armed men give up pretty quickly and are handcuffed. Brendan is pretty bossy with the cops, ordering them around. Once they've all hussled away and they are safe, Brendan turns to Rachel, smiling. He confesses those weren't real cops, but more actors he hired, as scared as anyone there, but it worked to convince the inept kidnappers.

He's laughing and Rachel kisses him, telling him, accurately, that he's crazy.

A week later, Rachel is still upset by the events but is trying to get back into her life. She's starting to see Brendan, and is really happy when her older sister Beth comes home from college to spend time with her.

At the end of the book, Brendan takes Rachel back to the Fear House to get her jacket she left behind. She walks into the library to see the real Victoria Fear wearing her jacket, skull face grinning at her as she sews up animals.

Brendan laughs at her for believing in the ghost stories …

This book was such a great set up for the series. Lots of interesting characters (I did not go into all of them here, I hope I'll get a chance to in later books). This used so many themes from the original Fear Streets: maybe paranormal stuff going around, a lot of poverty-induced anger, not to mention bringing the Fear family right into the mix here. I give Party Games 10 out of 10 hacked off ponytails. I am really excited to see what R. L. has for us next. Great to have you back!
L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-8996597091670117972014-09-29T21:29:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:49:32.445-07:00The Vampire Club or "How Crazy Can R.L. get in 20 pages?"
I can't even tell you the mix of emotions I had reading an R.L. book for the first time in years. There was joy, nostalgia and a healthy dose of wtf-am-i-reading. Also, since I had never read "The Vampire Club" before, there wasn't too much nostalgia. So my reaction was pretty heavy on the WTF.

"The Vampire Club" is a short story that was attached to the two Goodnight Kiss books and made into the compilation "Temptation". I can't for the life of me find out whether "The Vampire Club" was ever published before being attached to "Temptation" in 2012. So let's just say it may have been written in 2012, or maybe at some other point. Fact checking is not my forte.

Since "The Vampire Club" didn't have its own tagline (or interesting cover), I checked out the tagline for the whole compilation. Sometimes evil is sealed with a kiss. ...Hmmm! That one almost made sense. Like evil can seduce you? I guess that's what the Goodnight Kiss books were about, so good on R.L. (or whoever actually makes up the taglines. It can't possibly be him).

The first line of "The Vampire Club" was seriously the best: "Starting at a new school can be a real pain in the neck". SEE WHAT HE DID THERE?! God, I've missed his writing.

Anyhow, Pete is new to Forest Grove, after moving there from Shadyside just before his senior year started. The setting doesn't really make sense to me, since Pete could have easily just moved TO Shadyside, and nothing in the story would have changed. Whatever. Forest Grove sounds suspiciously like the Washington town that the Twilight series was set in, and yes, I am proud that I don't remember that name. (Forks. Dammit). Everything in Forest Groves is dark, shady, and covered in creepy ivy. Pete even remarks that is looks just like the Fear Street Woods! (Why are we in Forest Groves then?).

Pete is trying to get through his first day at his new school, but is feeling pretty homesick. Once the home bell rings at 3pm, everyone starts running through the halls like they are trying to get to another class. Pete finally asks a girl from his home room about this fuckery. Nan (yes that's her name) answers that everyone is required to join a club after school that meets every day. Two things here: Pete thinks Nan is super hot. Like "On a scale from 1-10, she's definitely 150!" kind of hot (Pete is a total cock waffle, clearly), Second thing: Mandatory clubs? That's just another class, right? Pete doesn't think this is weird at all, and asks if there is a carpentry club since that's his hobby. Let's revisit that. As a 16 year old boy, his hobby is...carpentry. Pete definitely has to be a vampire, right? Because no one gets into carpentry as a hobby until they are at least 80.

Nan tells him she has a more exciting club for him to join. Since Pete is now in love with her after their 3-minute discussion, he follows her into the woods where he meets her boyfriend Lee and the rest of their club. They are called The Vampire Club. It takes a while for Pete to suss out whether these weirdos think they are vampires but it turns out they are vampire hunters! Amazing. I think I was in a ghostbusting club at age 9, so I feel a connection to these people. Lee is all "we destroy vampires! They hunt in these woods but go to school with us in the daytime!". Pete is "unsure" whether or not they are fucking with him. And honestly, since this is an R.L. novel, I have no idea either. Lee tells Pete that to be initiated into the club he has to kill a vampire. Pete is all "cool" and makes plans with them to meet up the next night for some huntin'. And at no point does he think it's weird that there are mandatory after-school clubs.

The next night, they all gather in the Forest Grove woods again, and walk in complete darkness for a little while. Finally, Lee sees something. A boy from their gym class, Jason, has just entered a clearing in the woods, dragging a dog along with him. As Pete watches, Jason lowers his head to the dogs neck! Lee is all gleeful: "He's drinking its blood!", and Pete turns away to be sick. Everyone laughs at Pete, and he runs home. He can't believe he was wimped out and blew his chance to be in the club with Nan! Hmm. Pete...

Pete decides that he's not going to chicken out. So he carefully files a log into a stake all night long. OMG what? Then just before daybreak (because vampires must return home to sleep during the day, Pete thinks. Clearly forgetting Jason is a boy from his gym class. In daylight.), he sneaks into Jason's house and slips into his bedroom. Pete thinks to himself that he can do it, he can kill the mighty vampire Jason, FOR NAN. And with that, he shoves the stake into Jason's heart and runs home.

As soon as he gets home, he calls his obsession, Nan. Nan is really glad he called, because she feels bad about the prank that Lee pulled last night. Prank? What prank? Um, yeah, Pete, Jason is Lee's friend. Lee got him to pretend to be a vampire to freak out Pete. Oh.

The book ends with "What did you call to tell me, Pete?", which I totally loved. The short story wasn't too bad! I actually wasn't sure what direction R.L. would take it. I kinda thought Pete would be a vampire and try to eat all the lame-o club kids. Or maybe Nan and Lee were the leader of some sort of cult that thought they were vampires. All of these situations would have been okay with me, but I liked that R.L. went with Pete being a total crazy person. Seven stakes carefully crafted out of logs over the course of an evening of insanity out of nine.

But can we discuss the real thing that's bothering me about this book? How did no one care that there were mandatory clubs after school every day?!
A.M. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-69813181200206103692014-09-22T20:00:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:49:47.013-07:00Guys. It's almost time!
Alright Fear Street fans, there is so much news that I had to make a post. My first post in YEARS! I've missed you all. I've missed discussing the finer points of R.L.'s writing with L.K. Most of all, I've missed reading amazing Fear Street books!

Let's start us off: As I'm sure you all know, R.L. is releasing new Fear Street books this fall. In fact, the first one, Party Games, will be released on September 30th! So soon. Don't worry, I've already placed my pre-order. Here is the description of Party Games:

Her friends warn her not to go to Brendan Fear's birthday party at his family's estate on mysterious Fear Island. But Rachel Martin has a crush on Brendan and is excited to be invited. Brendan has a lot of party games planned. But one game no one planned intrudes on his party—the game of murder.

As the guests start dying one by one, Rachel realizes to her horror that she and the other teenagers are trapped on the tiny island with someone who may want to kill them all. How to escape this deadly game? Rachel doesn't know whom she can trust. She should have realized that nothing is as it seems… on Fear Island.

Soooo…basically "All-Night Party"?

I'm into it. I mean, really, how could I not read any new Fear Street books? I cannot WAIT to read this book (although I should point out, I did not spring for overnight shipping. I guess I can wait a little bit.)! To prepare his true fans for the release of the new Fear Street books, R.L. has done a little bit of promotion that I thought I would highlight. There was an article published on thebigthrill.org, which is an online publication of the International Thrillers Writers, which I did not know was a thing. Here is the link to the article: http://www.thebigthrill.org/2014/01/special-to-the-big-thrill-r-l-stine-and-the-return-of-fear-street-by-dawn-ius/.

Great, right? Here are some of the talking points for those of you who don't feel like reading an article about R.L. Stine (why are you reading this blog then?).

He doesn't like zombies and doesn't get this new zombie craze. Well, I just feel like that is a blatant lie.  He wrote sooo many books with zombies in them! "Zombies are boring as characters," he says. "You can't disguise them as humans. There's really not much that can be done with them." Should we discuss the amazing novel The Perfect Datewhich included three zombies who were disguised as humans? What about InToo Deep where a male child zombie disguised himself as a hot teen and seduced a male camp counselor?

 He thinks "vampires are sexy". Good to know.

 Best quote? "All I've ever wanted was to be funny". I hope he knows how much laughter and joy he has brought to my life over the years.

He's afraid of water! Interesting! I would say that many more characters have died from fire, ghost attacks, being slashed with a skate than have drowned. Perhaps he doesn't like to confront his fear too much? (A notable exception is Sarah Fier who drowned when her boat sank in the Atlantic. And then she haunted some cheerleaders for some reason).

He said that after Party Games, he'll probably bring back cheerleaders! L.K. will be so pumped!

Mentions how he "never wrote from the heart" and doesn't understand why authors would. He wants to sell his books! And I'm also guessing that whatever is in his heart is terrifying.

He says that it usually takes him 3-4 weeks to write a Fear Street book, and it goes so quickly because he does a lot of planning before (He doesn't say this but I imagine it's also because he doesn't mind gaping plot holes). But the article references him finishing a novel in 8 days in the late 80s. He mentions in another article that the 8-day book was…The Secret Bedroom! That makes sense. Here is L.K.'s final review of The Secret Bedroom: "This book was cheesy and nonsensical. Skeletal corpses dancing around? Even the cover sucks, with the cheesy glowing door, and cheesy skeletal hand. This book belongs firmly in the ranks of Goosebumps, and I'm sorry to see it put in the category of Fear Street. 2 skeletal corpses out of 7." Hahahah

That article was full of facts and gems. It really did heighten my anticipation for the Party Games release!

He also went ahead and made a list of his favorite Fear Street books: http://rlstine.com/rlstine-picks-his-8-favorite-fear-street-books/

New Girl

Silent Night

Switched

Fear Street Saga: The Betrayal

Haunted

The Perfect Date

Cheerleaders: The First Evil

The Secret Bedroom

Most of these are our favourites too. I have always had a soft spot for the original Fear Street Saga, and L.K. distinctly remembers Switchedfrom her youth. In fact, she mentions Switchedin both her top five favourite Fear Street list and top five scariest list.  But why is TheSecret Bedroom on here? He says he loves it because it "wrote itself". Maybe it would have benefited from some actual human editing? Just sayin…

I also wanted to mention that I just got a new R.L. book from the library – Temptation. It is a compilation of Goodnight Kiss, Goodnight Kiss 2 and Vampire Club. I won't be reviewing Goodnight Kiss and Goodnight Kiss 2 since L.K. already reviewed those. Apparently Vampire Club is a short story, and I don't believe we ever read it, so I will try to get that up on the blog before we get into the Party Games!

Exciting times, Shadyside fans!
A.M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-54326338600518523582014-05-05T05:46:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:49:59.853-07:00Red Rain, or "Zombies are Just So Obvious"

Hello faithful Shadyside Snark fans! Are you in for a treat, because I've finally gotten around to reading and recapping R. L. Stine's more recent adult novel, Red Rain. This recap is really just to whet your appetite as we countdown to the new Fear Streets!

You are going to have to forgive me because it's been SO LONG since I've recapped a book, I'm pretty sure I have no clue how to do it anymore. This ended up being super long, largely because the book was about three times the size of a Fear Street.

I actually read this a while ago and have put off writing the recap because in the meantime I moved overseas. Luckily I took some kick-ass notes, which may or may not make any sense to me now. I hope this knowledge adds to your experience here.

Prologue: We begin in the aftermath of a horrific hurricane, which devastated an island located somewhere off the East Coast of the US (my American geography is fuzzy – let's say it's somewhere off the coast of South Carolina. That makes sense, right?) Lea, an adventure traveler, is standing on the beach, in shock and horror at the calamity she is witnessing. The sky opens up, and bright red rain starts to pour down on her, like blood. She basically falls to her knees and starts screaming "oh, the humanity!" Two blond boys, twins, appear in front of her out of the blood rain.

That's a pretty good beginning. Let's go back in time a little bit to put this all into place. Lea is sitting down to write a blog post. I'm just going stop right there to say: Blog post! R. L. has totally entered this decade. This makes me even more excited as to what the new Fear Streets will offer.

Anyway, Lea is updating her travel blog. She is an adventurer extraordinaire, venturing where the faint of heart will never travel. At the moment, she is on Cape Le Chat Noir – a mysterious island that few people visit due to rumours that it is overrun with the living dead. Legend has it, since a horrific hurricane in 1935 destroyed most of the population, the dead got up and kept on going right next to the living. So … zombie island. Oh, A. M., I bet you wish you had read this one!

Lea goes on a guided tour to a Revenir ceremony. Even the living dead are into capitalizing on tourism. At this point she brings up Facebook, and that she was creeping on somebody's page. R. L. is right with the times now! She meets up with Martha Swann, a woman she's been in touch with who lives on the island. Together they watch the Revenir ceremony, although Martha warns her it's tough to handle. In the ceremony, six men are brought up to the front and given a "Black Death" concoction to drink. They all vomit and die in front of a naturally horrified Lea. But then the priest comes in and revives them, so everything is good. The newly dead/living men chuckle like "whoa, what a trip." K, willingly dying goes beyond what I'll do for a travel experience. Come to think of it, vomiting is also on that list.

At that time, a giant hurricane that has been threatening the coast blows in. Hurricane Ernesto is huge. It reminds people of the horrible hurricane of '35. Lea goes home with Martha to ride out the storm.

Over to Mark, Lea's husband, a psychologist, who is near their home on Long Island in a town called Sag Harbor. He is in the midst of a book tour, promoting his very controversial bestseller non-fiction book, "Kids Will Be Kids," where he apparently discusses how kids should be allowed to be free and do whatever they want. Ooh, foreshadowing here! This theory rubs people the wrong way, and lots of irate parents show up to yell at him, so he's super stressed out. In the middle of a bookreading, he gets a call from Lea in the hurricane. She screams and is cut off.

The hurricane is horribly destructive. Lea and the Swann's are all like: are we going to make it? Then the roof collapses.

After the storm, it is a horror show. There are corpses everywhere. Lea, while wandering the streets in a daze, is attacked by a man in distress.

Back to Long Island. Andy, a NY cop who has recently transferred to peaceful Sag Harbor, is there to give Mark the news that his wife is dead. Oh, oops! It was the wrong address. Classic R. L.

Lea is fine, although swiftly developing PTSD. She is pulled over to help a woman who is trapped. They end up ripping her leg off. What? Holy crap. She wanders away from that horror show to the boarding house where she was supposed to be staying that night. The house is destroyed and one of the owners has been impaled. So lucky she stayed with the Swann's, I guess. That's when the blood rain starts and she meets the twins, Daniel and Samuel. They say that everything they have is gone. Lea feels a connection to them and immediately adopts them, largely on the grounds that they "are adorable." She mentions their blond hair and blue eyes a lot. Wtf, how easy is it to adopt children there? Where I come from, taking children with you because they are cute is labeled "kidnapping."

Daniel and Samuel have a friend named Ikey. They discuss bringing him. Daniel puts forward that Ikey isn't as pretty as them, so their new "Mum" wouldn't want to have him around. Samuel really wants to bring him, though, so Daniel goes out and kills Ikey, I guess to avoid the argument. So already we know: mysterious twins appearing out of blood rain are evil. As if you needed a random murder to tell you that. Also, they talk in a weird accent, like part English, and call everyone "boyo."

Long Island. Andy the cop is in a complicated relations with a chick named Sari. That is all. Oh, and he also breaks up a fight over an ice cream cone. Very important stuff. Actually, the bully who was trying to steal an ice cream cone will show up later.

Alright, now finally Lea and Mark are together. Lea brings home some brand new twins she has adopted overnight. The confused household is there to meet them: Mark, their two kids Ira and Elena, and Mark's sister Roz who lives in their guest house with her toddler Axl. Everyone goes on and on about how pretty the twins are – even Mark, a grown man. This is all very weird and creepy.

The twins, who are about 10, decide they want to move into the guesthouse, which seems inappropriate, but nobody can say no to them. Roz and Axl are moved into the attic. Next, Daniel and Samuel go shopping for clothes since they have absolutely nothing of their own, where they have a run-in with the class bully and we discover that they are not only evil murderers, they are also shoplifters. *gasp!*

Lea becomes distant and completely obsessed with death rituals. It's all she does; she basically doesn't really come into the story for awhile.

In the meantime, while his wife is busy with her PTSD, Mark has taken to fucking his young assistant, Autumn. Ugh, these scenes are so awkward. It's like a Fear Street book, and then all of a sudden we're talking about her creamy white ass moving under him. Okay, there's your requisite sex scene to make this book adult.

Daniel and Samuel have taken a toll of the world around them, and have come to these conclusions: the bully would have to be dealt with, and they need to take Mark out of the picture, because he's not quite as accepting of them as their new Mum is, no matter how pretty they are.

Mark is denied a grant that he had been hoping would come in. The guy who came out to tell him the bad news ends up dead in his car in Mark's driveway – with his throat torn out by a blowtorch. Like, his windpipe has been torn out and thrown onto the back seat, while the edges of the gaping hole are charred. Yes, creative Stine death!

The police are suspicious of Mark, because brutal murder is clearly how people respond when they are denied a grant. The medical examiner, Harrison, shows up and is a hilarious dick to everyone.

Now Samuel and Daniel are talking about how they want to "rule the school." It's like the next step in their evil plan: Step one: take out adversaries; Step two: rule the school. They say they'll convince Elena, who is older, and Ira, who is their age, to help them. First, Daniel plays a game with Ira to see who can hold their breath the longest. Daniel nearly drowns Ira, then Samuel, the "quiet" one who seems nicer steps in and uses his laser eyes to hypnotize Ira to do whatever they want. No really, that's what happens. Samuel has laser eyes that can be used to burn, hypnotize or kill. He thinks about how when they came back from hell, Daniel got all the rage, but Samuel got the superpower.

So, you guessed it already, but pretty early on in the book the twins are outted as being the evil undead with powers. The whole book was really obvious. There wasn't any subtlety or suspense here. I really felt let down by this, because there could have at least been a little build up.

Ira starts acting weird and moves out into the guesthouse with the twins. They all paint blue arrows on their faces. Then Ira's friend Ethan moves in and paints an arrow on his face. Then they paint an arrow on toddler Axl's face and the adults start freaking out.

At school, they get in trouble for the face paint, but Samuel hypnotizes the principal, who then says all the kids have to get blue arrows painted on their cheek. That afternoon, Samuel and Daniel go to the bully's house …

Andy the cop fucks his ex, Sari, then she tells him she just got married and that was like a goodbye handshake with his penis. I forget what any of this has to do with the plotline now. I actually don't think it does. You are welcome to forget that bit, if you can.

The cops are called in for a new murder. The bully is found in his house, beheaded and burnt.

That evening, Daniel and Samuel have lots of kids over to the guesthouse, all of them with arrows on their cheeks. They've "convinced" a lot of older kids to join their little club, including Elena, the teenager, which is worrying a lot of the adults. Despite all their worry, Mark and Lea go out that night, trying to reconnect after his affair she doesn't know about and her blatant obsession with death. When they return, the guest house is empty and all the kids are gone. Like 80 kids disappeared that night. Pretty creepy.

Early the next morning, Daniel and Samuel are back and they decide to go find Autumn of the creamy ass, Mark's assistant he's been having on the side. They kill her in order to set up Mark. They're all very polite about the whole thing. Autumn fights back and stabs Samuel with a heel (btw, I always think about using my stilettos as weapons when it comes right down to it.). Unfortunately, because he's the evil undead, a heel stab wound doesn't really slow him down. She's a goner. The cops go to arrest Mark, so he behaves perfectly rationally, jumps out a window and runs into the woods.

Martha Swann, from the island where this all began, contacts Lea. She's discovered some stuff about Daniel and Samuel, like a photo of them after the 1935 hurricane. They haven't aged because they are zombies, as we already know. They survive by stealing and have a deep desire to control children. Lea's all: wtf. Then Martha very portentiously tells Lea that there's more …

Meanwhile, there's a string of burglaries in Sag Harbor, committed by children. The missing kids all go to the middle school, where a "new order" has been started. No adults are allowed in, except for the kitchen staff to make them snacks. The kids are all going crazy, behaving like the wild animals that they are. Guess kids shouldn't really be kids, now, should they Mark? Daniel can somehow control their mood through the blue painted arrow.

The principal manages to get in, and Samuel sets her on fire. There is a stand off between the kids inside and the cops of Sag Harbor outside. Daniel and Samuel come out and set fire to everything while chanting "Rule the School!" One cop goes in to be a hero and stops Samuel from killing Elena and Ira, and is almost killed himself.

Then Mark jumps in and knocks the twins out, ending their power over the kids – because stab wounds are nothing, but a knock over the head will take out a zombie anytime. All the kids run out and the twins disappear.

Mark finds Lea wandering around the school. She tells him that she's dead, she died in the hurricane, and the Swann's got the Revenir priest guy to bring her back. The twins then sneak up on them and try to kill Mark. Lea grabs them and they all catch fire, burning to ash.

R. L. always likes a neat wrap-up when it comes to his zombies – they usually disappear in a whirlwind or a blaze of fire. But wait … Axl, the little toddler, has been taught Samuel's gift …

As terrifying as the thought of a toddler with killer laser eyes are, on a whole this book wasn't so much scary as it was CRAZY. Things that were sort of scary: The blood rain with the twins appearing out of it. This started off with SO MUCH POTENTIAL. Also, having the kids disappear. I think it would have been way creepier if they had just … gone. Not ransacked the school to eat a lot of snacks in the cafeteria and boss grown ups around. And the zombies. I read somewhere that R. L. was over zombies? What does this mean for the new Fear Streets? A. M. will be so disappointed!

Alas, the book lacked nuance. But it's been awhile since I've read anything new by R. L., so it was still fun and exciting. Am even more excited for the New Fear Streets, coming out this October!
L. K. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-62802669578568156282014-01-24T10:29:00.004-07:002014-01-24T10:38:34.131-07:00New City, or "Could I Ever Write Anything As Well As R.L.?"

No, this isn't a new Fear Street book. Or even a YA horror book from the '90s. But it is a book written by yours truly, L.K. Stine. Obviously, Lauren Barr is my pen name, but I'd thought I'd share it with those who love the stylings of R.L.

This is my first published book and I'm pretty excited about it. It's a crazy feeling to have a book out there for others to read. I'm starting to question my entire career snarking on another author ... but that's neither here nor there.

New City is a new adult apocalyptic novel, about two sisters who survive the end of the world. It's a dark urban thriller, a nightmarish look at what could be when civilization breaks down.Basically, it's what would happen if A.M. and I survived the end of the world. Not really, though, I like to think my characters are a lot more resourceful then I would be. My reaction to the apocalypse would be: Panic. Die. Rather like a Fear Street heroine!

If you'd like to check it out, you can find New City at Amazon here, or Chapters here. Let me know what you think!

When Evie and her sister Kit decide to leave their deserted northern home for good, they have no idea what they are going to find. Since a deadly Sickness has wiped out the population a year ago, all they do know is they must find some remnants of civilization, or risk another winter alone without food or power.

They head towards a formerly thriving metropolis to discover what is left of humanity. The journey across the deserted country is disturbing, but nothing could prepare them for what they find when they arrive in the city, now known only as New City. Terrified by unknown attackers, they find salvation with mysterious benefactor Lachlan. He gives them a place to stay at the luxurious hotel that serves as a central meeting point in the city.

As her suspicion of Lachlan's motivations grow, Evie finds herself drawn towards the company of James, a fast-talking criminal who warns her to watch her back. As she discovers the layers of corruption and depravity in the hastily reconstructed society, Evie must decide who is trustworthy in this apocalyptic world.

L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-75029924030142677852013-12-31T12:59:00.000-07:002013-12-31T12:59:10.990-07:00L.K. Stine's favourite Fear Streets

L.K. Stine's favourite Fear Street books

I had so much fun recapping the Fear Street books. Every one of them had it's own brand of wtf charm, but I'm not going to lie that a few of them stole my heart. I really struggled to get this list down to only five, but these are my five absolute favourite books in Fear Street history. I know that A.M. Stine is also working on her list of faves as well (I bet they are all zombie-related).

Halloween Party

Party Summer

Switched

The Prom Queen

Trapped

Funniest

By "funniest" I mean the ones that made me laugh the most, not necessarily because the book was funny but because the post was. You might think I'm crazy. It's a very subjective heading. There is also a big element of laughing at your own jokes, but if you made the jokes five years ago is it still lame? Probably. Anyway, these are the ones that I caught myself sniggering at:

Haunted

Wrong Number 2

First Date

Beach House

High Tide

Cat

Children of Fear

Scariest

Yes, I'll admit that occasionally, a Fear Street would send a chill up even our spines. These are the books that we admitted to feeling the slightest, tiniest bit like we might want to hide the book in the freezer for awhile.

The First Horror

The Secret

Switched

Trapped

Daughters of Silence
L. K. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-30936967270327446172013-10-30T19:05:00.000-06:002013-10-30T19:05:33.758-06:00Awkward Kisses, Terrifying Garburators and Bad Teenage Poetry: What Makes Fear Street So Awesome?

Happy Halloween, Fear Street lovers. And could there possibly better news, EVER, then the fact that the fear master himself, R. L. Stine, is set to revive the Fear Street series with new books! Holy crap, I am over the moon about it. According to his Twitter, which I now follow with absolute delight, he is halfway through the first book, Party Games. Things couldn't be better. Of course A.M. and I will be following these new developments.

So, in honour of the awesome news, and of course for Halloween, I put together some of the things that make Fear Street so very special in our hearts. I am so eager to see how much of this ends up in the new series.

Some of the best things that make Fear Street books so awesome are the little details. For A.M. and I, that means the awkward description of kisses between chaste teenagers, or the mind-bogglingly gross-out ways that R.L. has thought up to off his characters. I also started to make a list of all the books we've deemed have abusive relationships within them, but it was basically every one of them, so I just stopped. Also, it seemed a little wrong to highlight that aspect of the Fear Streets too much. Just know that we here at Shadyside Snark frown on abusive relationships and you should never date someone who dumps a bucket of leeches on you. In case you needed that bit of life advice.

Best description of awkward kisses

Make no mistake about it - one of my favourite things about Fear Street is the really awkward way kisses are described. They rarely sound enjoyable at all. Just one more part of the teenage horror experience?

Broken Hearts

Cheerleaders: First Evil

The New Girl

The Betrayal

The Boy Next Door

Goodnight Kiss

The Face

The Hitchhiker

The Dead Girlfriend

Letter openers

The letter opener, bar none, is the best murder weapon ever, and much more common than you would think. It does make me wonder, though - who are all these people with letter openers? If people could see the stats on how many of these lead to terrible deaths, maybe they'd just stick to opening letters with their fingers, paper cuts be damned.

Broken Hearts

The Prom Queen

The New Girl

The Babysitter 2

The Perfect Date

Silent Night 2

Door of Death

The Face

Best poetry attempts

And by best I mean worst.

Broken Hearts

Bad Moonlight

The Dead Girlfriend

Most gruesome/memorable deaths

I started to compile the deaths that gave me the creeps, but I eventually had to stop. R.L. is super creative when it comes to death. Here is just a sampling of some of the gruesome ways you could possibly go. A surprising amount of these were found in the Evil Cheerleaders series - that Sarah Fear was a complete ghoul!

Bobbi Corcoran scalded to death – Cheerleaders: First Evil

Impaled by camera, stunt double – The Third Horror

Face torn off in tobogganing accident – The Perfect Date

Death by pottery wheel – Lights Out

Death by printing press – Final Grade

Buried alive – The Burning

Skinned as a cat, rat stuffed down the throat – Evil Moon

Piano wire across ski hill – The Face

Death by water cooler – Cheerleaders: The New Evil

Head ground in mill; head boiled in a vat of potatoes – The Awakening Evil

Special mention

These are some of the scenes that just stick in your head - we remembered them vividly even after years since reading Fear Street for the first time.

Garberator scene – 99 Fear Street: The First Horror

Killer vomit – The Third Horror

Needle in lipstick – Silent Night

Triple threat chase scene – Sunburn

The time-traveling car – Cataluna series, Evil Moon
L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-70103576307023477932013-09-16T21:26:00.003-06:002013-09-16T21:28:07.538-06:00For All Fear Street LoversI know it's been awhile, Fear Street fans. Approximately three years or so? While A.M. Stine and I finished blogging all the Fear Street books, we never stopped thinking about Fear Street books. Obviously. So three years later, I finally got around to doing what I meant to do as soon as we were done with the blog - get a little organized. With lists and things.

First thing, you'll see that I have created a new page with all the Fear Street books we've blogged, in order (the Fear Street Books, an index). So if you're the type who likes to read things in order (clearly A.M. and I do not fall under that category), you can peruse over there.

Also, just for fun, I've put together some lists of different themes of books. R. L. does like to fall back on some stereotypical horror themes, which is okay. It only makes me love him more. Here are some of the major themes. Stay tuned for some more personalized favourite lists coming soon.

Vampires

Vampires were so hot about three years ago. These were my faves to blog about and I tried to do as many as possible. If vampires are your thing, and why wouldn't they be, enjoy R.L.'s interpretation of Twilight. Just click on the link to head there.

Goodnight Kiss

Goodnight Kiss 2

One Last Kiss

Dangerous Girls

Taste of Night

The Thirst

Graduation Day

Zombies

Zombies were 100% A.M.'s thing. If I ever accidentally ended up with a Fear Street about zombies, she would basically be despondent (and it was really hard to tell, because if you look back over these recaps, you'll see the zombie twist would almost always happen at the very end and you never see it coming!) These without a doubt are some of the books with the biggest wtf factor, so suspend disbelief and any sense of logic, and enjoy.

The Second Horror

The Perfect Date

New Year's Party (Part One) (Part Two)

Night Games

The Last Scream

Forbidden Secrets

The Bad Girl

In Too Deep

Evil twins

Such a horror classic, and a great way to get a plot moving along. Evil twins (or evil siblings pretending to be twins) often pop up in the Fear Street books, to the point that I started to keep an eye on A.M.

Double Date

Into the Dark

The New Girl

Chamber of Fear

L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-74163769007225427032010-10-15T10:20:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:51:25.571-07:00Graduation Day or "R. L. Didn't Let Me Down With His WTF Ending"
Well friends: This is it. Our final Fear Street book.

For Graduation Day, L.K. and I did something a little different. We both read the book separately and wrote reviews without looking at the other persons. I still haven't even read L.K.s. So I guess we'll find out who cuts corners in their review style!

Without further ado: L.K. Stine's Graduation Day!

OMG, guys, this is it! Not only the last Seniors book, but also our last Fear Street book, ever. I'm not sure how I feel about this – a little sad and bittersweet. I'm sure I feel nothing like our intrepid seniors, who must be anticipating graduation with dread and a little bit of panic. After watching their classmates horrifically die throughout the year, you have to start to wonder what you're in for.

So here it is:

We start off with Josie at the mall with Jennifer, the most boring twosome ever (let's whine some more …) Josie is shopping for something sexy to wear to the party that her and Josh are throwing to stick it to everyone that's ignored her all year. That's a little callous, but whatever. Jen disappears, and the dresses Josie's been looking at turn into the maroon grad gowns of Shadyside High. They start to pour blood and be filled out by skeletons.

Not surprisingly, this is the first dream sequence of the book. Josie wakes up in a cold sweat, wondering if anyone will survive grad.

Josie, Josh and Stacy are at school, talking about the yearbooks. My first thought was: how will they deal with all the memorial pages they have to put in there – I guess the same way they've dealt with it every year. Then dumbass Josh answers my questions – muttering he doesn't want a yearbook because it's just a book full of pictures of dead people. So they did actually make a memorial section for the dead, I guess R. L. couldn't overlook that one forever (like he always seems to do with other dead-person stuff, like funerals or grief.)

They open the books to find all the photos of their dead classmates were changed to be decaying corpses. Was it a really insensitive practical joke or something else …? Josie screams "Haven't we suffered enough!" and runs out. In my head, that was all super melodramatic.

Dana approaches Josie to tell her she can't make it to her party because she's too sad over her dead twin. Josie makes the case of being miserable together – sounds like a fun party.

Josie, alone, reminisces about the evil spirit she summoned last June to kill the entire graduating class, and what a big mistake that turned out to be. I'm thinking the biggest theme of this entire series is: Beward the Whiny Teenager.

Annoying Matty comes up to show Josie that Clark Dickenson (aka "Count Clarkula") didn't show up in any of the photos taken of him. This is clearly further proof of his vampire-ness. I guess? That's cool, vampires are sexy.

The next day, Trisha cuts herself arranging trophies in the display case. Clark is next to her and <s>starts to lap up her blood</s> sways because <s>he desperately needs her mortal blood to live</s> blood makes him <s>hungry</s> dizzy. Josie wonders if Trish started to see Clark because of his closeness to her blood.

Trisha has a vision of the entire graduating ceremony attended by nothing but coffins. Yawn – hasn't she had that one already? Move on, already.

Clark goes to the mall to shop and mischieviously pretends he might not buy something black. Psych! Of course he buys something black. He runs into Matty, who nervously tells him about his photos not turning out. Clark is surprisingly upfront, telling Matty he's not a vampire but has always enjoyed the attention it gets him – like from Trisha Conrad. To prove he's not a vampire, he brings Matty to his house and locks him in his room – not too convincing there, Clarkula.

Turns out Clark is a 200 year old immortal. He clouds Matty's mind and drinks his blood. I … am surprised. All that build up and it actually went somewhere. Huh. Clark makes hungry ugh ugh ugh grunts as he drinks, which I found disturbing. Maybe he wants Matty to be his Renfield.

Josie is studying when the Doom spirit visits her. He takes offence at her "it's just a dream" comment and proves it isn't by filling her scalp with maggots. Ick.

She breaks down and confides in Josh about the Doom spirit, telling him everything. He takes her seriously and goes to tell her parent she needs to talk to someone, all the deaths have messed with her head. This is one of the most surprisingly sensitive things I've read in Fear Street, it makes sense that after seeing death after death you might want to talk yourself into it being your fault so that maybe you can have some control over it.

Whatever. Josie deals with this by running away to Jennifer's. They call Trisha over and Josie once again confesses and tells Jen they need to find a spell to stop Doom. Unfortunately, the books had been sold, so they are out of luck. Oh well.

Next day at a student awards ceremony. Josie attends … for no reason, because she sucks. Josh is getting a science prize as well as an award for an essay he wrote on democracy – I thought he has a total dumbass, maybe not so much.

They get started, everyone is present but Phoebe. Don't worry, she'll show up soon. They unroll the flag to "The Star-Spangled Banner" – and with it comes Phoebe's body, hung upside down, swinging along with the flag. I'm saddened by her death, Phoebe was always so feisty.

The kids moan about attending yet another funeral. Josh has had about enough, leave from the church with Matty and Mickey and drive to the Fear Street Woods. Josh is being very introspective, he actually has quite the sensitive side. I would like to see him end up being the hero of the series. It's actually funny how, at the end of this series, you still have no idea if there is a hero, if there even is a hero. Or who the bad guy is for that. It would also be awesome if it turned out everyone was evil. That would be an excellent ending.

Mickey catches a bat. Joking that it's Clark, they decide to put it in Clark's bedroom.
Clark catches them in there. They give him his "present" and he sucks the insides out calmly. He explains he's clouding their minds, then proceeds to do so. The boys leave, weirded out but not knowing why, but Clark makes Matty stay with him. Josh hears his cry of pain and wonders at it while he leaves.

At the mall, Josh runs after a girl he thinks he went to camp with years ago. She has a gorgeous friend Katrina that Josh flirts with for a bit. She agrees to go out with him, until finding out he's from Shadyside High. So he really is cursed.

Josie is at the shrink's office, being made to go there by her parents. The doctor eagerly listens to everything Josie says, then turns into the Doom spirit. The creature swallows Josie, where she falls past howls of pain and distorted faces, ending in darkness.

She wakes up in the doc's office with an angry woman standing over her. The doctor was sick today, there was no way she should be in here. Josie runs away, which is sensible I think. She goes to open the car, but the handle is burning hot and her hand sticks to it. As she screams, she sees Doom behind the wheel before the car explodes. I'm thinking Doom is having a good time with all of this. Of course, none of that actually happened, Josie is fine.

Grad rehearsal – Mickey is wrapped around another senior, Zella, as opposed to his poor grieving girlfriend. Of course – grief is boring. I don't like that a new senior is being introduced at this late date without her being in the yearbook of Doom. Couldn't R. L. have used another character, like Mira Block who appeared in approximately no books but is supposedly a large slut?

Before everything is ready, Pomp and Circumstance blasts out on the speakers, making everyone cover their ears. Slowly, a procession of maroon gowns walk into the auditorium, all of them corpses – Debra, Danielle, Marla, Ty … all of the dead seniors. Fucked up!

The living run out, but not before Josie sees Marla get up to give her valedictorian speech. Well, she would, wouldn't she?

So, everyone believes Josie now, and they figure they're fucked.

Trisha and Josie go to the Fear mansion because there's nothing better to do. Trisha has a vision, she sees a door with a big crack in it, and in a man's voice pleads for help.

Trisha runs to the side of the house. Finding the door, together they open it. They are sucked in to a place full of skeletons grabbing at them. A handsome living man named Henry Conrad approaches them. He's Trish's great-grandfather. He asks him to get him out.

Josie isn't sure if they should trust the random guy who hangs out with skeletons, but he tells her he can defeat Doom when he's out. Josie's sold. Also, a weird jellyfish attacks her and Henry rescues her, so he must be awesome.

When they get to the door, Henry runs and keeps on running. Over his shoulder, he tells them that to summon him, just say "I summon thee" three times and he'll be there. He also yells that they haven't seen the last of him, which sounds vaguely like a threat. He runs around the side of the building.

What the fuck was that?

Clark goes to visit Trisha. He's so thirsty he's losing control. He begs her to go out to a movie so he can drink her in private. He bites her in the car … or almost. The police pull up and tell them to move along. Trisha asks him to take her home and gets out quickly before he can pull anything. Clark impotently reaches after her – not much of a vampire, is he. Instead, he eats Trisha's kitten. Um, just noticed the potential sexual reference there when writing that – very naughty, R. L. Who do you think you are, Bram Stoker?

Josie and Josh get ready for the party. Trisha and Matty come in, yelling about how Clark is a vampire and they have to do something. Trisha was onto him in the car and Matty's been remembering some of his "alone time" with Clark.

Trish is determined to kill him. They decide to invite him over right away for his staking so he doesn't ruin the party. Trisha entices him over. Clark comes over all eager, and to me he's still a metaphor for teen sex and experimentation, I swear.

Josie sends him to the den where Matty is waiting with a stake. Screaming ensues. Matty comes out triumphant, saying Clark just crumbled.

So they start a very lame party, where a bet a bunch of people just start crying, when an unexpected (expected?) guest shows up – Doom. A screen of smoke comes up where Josie watches as each of her friends is grotesquely murdered (I mean, Jen has her arms ripped off and then is strangled with them, seriously). That's just the preview, though, a warm up to the real thing.

Josie starts to summon random Henry Conrad, but the snakes that hang out in Doom's eye sockets jump down her throat. She vomits violently enough to get rid of them to summon Henry.

A gorgeous Henry walks into the room, apparently set on killing Doom. Unfortunately, he just turns out to be more Doom, doubling its strength. Oops!

The den door flies open and out flies Clark. He's still "alive" or undead or what-have-you. Matty claims he couldn't kill Clark … because he's a vampire too!

Matty and Clark fly over Doom and proclaim the ancient evil of the vampire is more powerful, so they win. They crush Doom to yellow dust, which swirls around, knocking Kenny over in the process, before falling on everyone like snow.

Matty and Clark turn into bats and fly away. Well, I didn't see that one coming, but it looks like they are the heroes of this piece.

Grad Day. Everyone is super happy now that they're not going to die horribly. In his valedictorian speech, Kenny asks for a moment of silence in memorial of their lost classmates.

Then Kenny turns into Doom, who had hidden in his body at the party. It wishes Josie a Happy Graduation …

Okay, okay, what the fuck? This book was so full of random shit I can't even follow. The actual plot line contained like two things – have a party, graduate. And yet, R. L. threw in everything he had for that one. This book was actually crazy. I kind of loved it. I will give it 85 corpsified graduates out of 99, for a very satisfying end of the Fear Street books.

And here is my Graduation Day!

Well kids, it's hard to believe we've finally come to our last book. Sorry for the delay in writing this last review, but I've started back at SCHOOL this fall and it requires some time that I had specifically put aside for Fear Street.

It's only fitting that the last book of the Seniors Series (and of the Fear Street Series) is absolutely fucking insane. Like it's unreal. All over the map! It's broken into five separate parts, so maybe that will help us keep track of all the insanity that happens.

Prologue

Our main protagonist in this book is Josie Maxwell who is an okay character, although a little whiney for my taste. Like, one of the first sentences she utters is "I need something sexy. Something to make everyone wish they hadn't ignored me this year." Ugh. If Josie was a guy, I'd say he was close to being a serial killer, but since she's a girl...I'm just going with typical, whiney girl.
Josie is out whining to her friend Jennifer Fear, as they're shopping for "sexy" outfits to wear to Josie's graduation party. Catsuits, anyone? Josie's had a rough time this year and this shopping trip doesn't really help her. She starts hallucinating that the clothing store is just full of red graduation robes. And those red graduation robes are suddenly full of ... skeletons! And there's blood all over the floor! Josie takes this to mean that "no one will survive graduation..." Well not with that attitude!

Part One

Josie is waiting with her friend Stacey, and annoying dork Matty Winger for the school yearbooks to be delivered. They're all a little anxious to see their hard work in print, especially because there's a special section for all the dead students. That must be a HUGE section! Like 10 kids died already, right? When they get the yearbook, they're all a little disappointed... seeing as all the photographs of the dead kids have been replaced with pictures of rotting corpses! Hmmm at first I thought that was another one of Josie's hallucinations, but no, the pictures were really changed. Seems a little juvenile for an evil spirit, yes? So maybe it was done by a real person! Eh, I don't know, we'll find out.

Josie does us the solid of recapping what started this whole messy year off. She chanted the Doom Spell at Jennifer's house (you know, because she's a Fear) and later, the whole senior class was killed by a cloaked skeleton in various disturbing way. She somehow escaped and used another spell to turn time back an hour and everyone was alive again. But she thinks the cloaked skeleton has been stalking the graduating class and killing them off one by one. (You guys should really go check out L.K.'s recap of "Let's Party", the first Seniors book where this all takes place. This is the party recap: "Josie comes out of the bathroom. The cloaked skeleton comes to the party and rips everyone apart. Bummer." Haha!)

Matty interrupts Josie's silent thinking time to let her know another creepy thing about the yearbook. Even though Matty took half a roll of film on Clark aka Count Clarkula, nothing showed up! It's just a blank square. Apparently that's enough evidence to make Clark a real vampire. Except... if the yearbook printers didn't notice they printed a bunch of CORPSES, I kinda doubt they're going to notice if one kid's picture is blank. Let's be fair.

So the next day at school Josie see's Trisha Conrad cut herself pretty severely on her locker. While this wasn't very interesting in itself, it's ultra interesting that she was with CLARK and they talk about hanging out later. Josie thinks to herself that Trisha's been pretty cut up since her boyfriend Gary Fresno was killed. On the way to the nurses office, Trisha has another one of her visions. She saw the podium and the auditorium for graduation... except the rows were just filled with coffins. Trisha starts screaming at Josie that "IT'S NOT GOING TO LET US GRADUATE!!" Jeez. These two need to stop hanging out together.

Part Two

This section is all from Count Clarkula's point of view. He goes to mall to find a new outfit for the graduation party. He gets himself all in a tizzy when he thinks about how Trisha cut herself and bled everywhere this morning. Is he grossed out, or turned on? It's hard to tell with Clark, or teenaged boys in general. He runs into Matty, who confronts him about not having a picture in the yearbook. Awful brave of Matty, don't we think? Clark outright tells Matty that he's not a vampire, and if Matty will come back to his house, he will totally prove it to him! Hmmm... that seems like a bad plan.

And it is. Clark gets Matty back to his place and confesses that he is a vampire. And then proceeds to drink Matty's blood! Wait, is this another hallucination? Nope! Clark has the strength of "200 year of immortality" behind him and easily overpowers Matty. Well, that was almost unexpected. I wonder if R.L. planned to make Clark a vampire the whole time? Clark sucks Matty's blood in kind of a homoerotic way, until he's interrupted by Trisha calling. And he tells her he's been thinking of her. While sucking blood out of Matty's elbow? Sure he has.

Part Three

Josie is studying for her calculus final in her bedroom, mostly because her dad says if she does well this year, he *might* buy her a car. That's a pretty good trick actually. He doesn't have to really buy her a car, but gets the results out of Josie anyways! I'll probably use that on my children. Ahh parenting tips from R.L.
Anyways, Josie is starting to get mad at her stepbrother Josh for playing his terrible music so loud, but when she turns around...the hooded skeleton is there! She's convinced she's dreaming but the skull says he'll prove he's real: by making maggots come out of her scalp. GROSS. But then he just fade away, which really seems like a missed opportunity if he's in the killing-seniors business.

Josie decides it's time to tell Josh what's been going on. You know, with regards to an ancient demon killing all their friends. She tells him the whole story, about the doom spell, everyone dying, then her going back in time to stop it. Surprisingly Josh is pretty understanding, and promises to help her figure it all out.

Oh sorry, did I say help her figure it out? I meant he wants to get her the HELP she needs. He immediately goes to their mom and tells her that Josie has gone crazy. When Josie overhears their conversation, she decides to run over to Jennifer's house and enlist her help with defeating this skeleton thing. She gets Trisha to come over too, since she's a True Fear. After she tells the girls what's been going on, neither of them really jump on board. I think it's the whole time-travel thing. Or that she watched everyone die. I'm not sure. Josie goes to find The Spell Book that she originally used to cast the Doom Spell in the Fear's library. Only, Jennifer's dad got rid of all their (evil) Fear memorabilia!

She seems to just give up after that because the next scene is at the awards ceremony for the seniors. This scene basically just has Josie complaining that she's not smart enough to get an award and dumping on everyone else who does. Super cool, Josie. At least you're smart enough to cast a spell to kill everyone that makes you mad! Nothing happens at the ceremony until the end, when they pull back the curtains and Phoebe Yamura is dangling from a rope, dead. That's kind of an unceremonious end to Phoebe, don't you think?

Part Four

After Phoebe's funeral, Josh, Matty and their friend Mickey go for a long car ride to clear their heads. While they're in the woods, Matty catches a bat (how? why?) and they decide to play a joke on Count Clarkula. They also ask Matty how he got the huge bandage on his elbow and Matty's all "I can't remember". Totally normal, happens to me all the time.

So they troop over to Clark's house and break in to set a bat loose in his room. I'm not sure HOW this is a really funny prank, but they all think it is. Until Clark catches them in his room. And proceeds to eat the bat while the boys look on in horror. After he's finished with the poor bat (you'd think vampires would have more respect) he "clouds" the boy's minds by staring at them, and Josh, Matty and Mickey forgot they saw anything unusual. As the boys go to leave in confusion, Clark asks Matty to stay for a little longer. Sexy times!

Part Five

Josie is still upset about everything (unsurprisingly, since she hasn't actually fixed anything yet) and is having nightmares about all her dead friends. Her mom tells her that she HAS to go see a psychiatrist for her own good. Josie reluctantly agrees. The next day her and Josh go to the mall to get supplies for the graduation party their going to have where everyone will die. Maybe! Josh thinks he sees some girls he knows and runs to chat them up. He ends up inviting one to his party, but when she finds out what school she's from, she runs away in horror. Smooth, Josh. After being rejected, he accosts some strange girl because he hallucinates that it's long-dead Debra Lake. Maybe he believes Josie now?

Josie goes to the psychiatrist, but instead of speaking to a Dr. Gollub, it ends up being the skeleton demon. And it eats her? Does that mean she's dead? No, she's just transported to some crazy hell world, full of twisted agony, then spit out on the other side. This really feels like another missed killing opportunity for the skeleton demon!

Part Six

She wakes up on the floor of the psychiatrist and the assistant is all "Dr. Gollub is sick today, WTF are you doing?". When she gets to her car, the door handle is burning hot! And her hand gets stuck to it. Guess who's in the driver's seat? The skeleton, here to drive her to hell. Or probably not, since he's terrible at actually killing Josie. The demon makes the car burst into flames and explode, which hurts Josie but doesn't kill her. And also didn't leave any damage to her car, which is totally fine when she stands up. Kinda lame.

Josie is at the graduation rehearsal the next day. Everything seems to be going well (no one dies) until Pomp and Circumstance begins to play excruciatingly loudly. No one knows where the music is coming from until the auditorium doors swing open, and all the dead seniors start marching in. Not in a Ha-Ha-fooled-you-we're-not-dead-way. But in a really creepy, totally ZOMBIE corpse march. The rest of the surviving seniors stamped out of the auditorium but Josie can't resist a look back. On stage, Zombie Marla Newman, is giving a silent valedictorian speech! Even a bitch when she's dead, eh?

Trisha and Josie decide to take matters in their own hands. By going to the destroyed old Fear Mansion, where nothing good happens. GREAT idea!
Trisha has a vision as soon as the girls get to the Fear Mansion. She sees a very particular door, and behind it, a man is crying for help. Trisha runs off ahead and easily finds the door at the back of the mansion (seems suspicious...). They tug the door open and get sucked inside. Into another world of evil! Bony hands, ghost calls, and howling spirits surround the girls. They find the man though, and it turns out that he is Trisha's great-grandfather, Henry Conrad. He needs their help to escape the haunted world (although it seems like the girls are pretty useless at anything at that point). They're not sure if they trust him, but he promises to help them once they're out in the real world. Trisha decide's that family ties are suddenly important, so they help him.

Henry lead them to the way out to the real world, but not before Josie can get swallowed by some large, gelatinous monster. Henry saves her pretty quick and they escape no problem. Was that monster really necessary then, R.L.? As soon as they're out of the mansion, Henry Conrad sprints away from them. He yells back that when they need his help, just repeat three times "I summon thee". Umm doesn't that sound unnecessarily negative?

Part Seven

Clark is hanging out with Trisha and thinking about how outrageously thirsty he is. Why didn't he just call his little blood buddy, Matty? He takes her out for a date, then to a deserted area of the woods to make his move. And by move I mean kill her. He's just about to bite her when the police show up and tell them to move their party along. Ahhh Fear Street police. You only show up when kids are making out, hey? Trisha gets Clark to drop her off, and since he didn't get to drink Trisha's blood he settles for the next best thing. Her little kitty, Minnie! Poor Minnie.

Josh and Josie are getting ready for the party. Josie is now supremely confident that nothing will happen to them because her and Trisha "got protection". You mean Trisha's weird time traveling grandfather? What does Josie think he's gonna do? But her and Josh seem confident as they set out bowls of chips. Trisha and Matty burst in with big news: Clark is a vampire! Trisha actually saw his fangs before the police interrupted their party. And Matty all of a sudden remembers that Clark has been drinking his blood for the past few weeks. Randomly. They decide that Clark is the real reason everyone in their class has been dying, and not the skeleton demon that Josie has been seeing. Josie seems okay with this development even though that totally makes her crazy.

The kids get Clark to come over to the party early. Their plan is to get Matty to drive a stake through Clark's heart while no one watches. REALLY? That's the plan? Trisha, Josh and Josie all hide, and they hear a scream and Matty's alone when they come back in the room so... the plan worked perfectly! God, no wonder these kids all die.

Even though Clark is dead, no one is really in the mood to party that night. Everyone just sits on the edges of the room and chats quietly. But the party really picks up when the skeleton demon finally arrives! Josie's not worried though, because she has a secret weapon. Go go gadget elderly man!!

Josie doesn't get to finish her summoning spell at first though because snakes jump out of the skull's eye sockets and plunge down her throat. Ugh! She finally manages to scream "I summon thee" three times and Henry Conrad quickly strides into the room. What, was he just waiting outside for his cue? Unsurprisingly however, Henry Conrad turns out to be another skeleton demon in disguise. Josie pretty much gives up on life at that point, since she the two murderous skeleton demons have merged into one bigger demon in her living room. But at least she killed Clark!

Or did she? Clark comes bursting into the den (was he waiting with Henry?) and Matty confesses he didn't kill Clark...because he's a vampire too. Then Clark and Matty start shouting at the skeleton demon about how THEIR VAMPIRE evil is way more badass than the spirits evil. REALLY? They tear the skeleton's head off and crush all its bones. Then the bone powder swirls around Kenny Klein, and then it falls to the floor like snow.

Everyone silently watches the two life-partners, Matty and Clark transform into bats and flap away into the night together. All the surviving seniors cheer and celebrate that now they can graduate in peace!

Except the next day, after Kenny Klein gives his valedictorian speech, he hugs Josie backstage and reveals that he's the skeleton demon in disguise. "Happy Graduation, Josie!"

Surprise! That was fucked up. A fitting end though, yes? I'll give Graduation Day 49 zombie graduates out of 54. Pretty well done R.L.!
A. M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-15807499919589847442010-08-11T11:44:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:51:45.716-07:00Keyword Extravaganza!
Hey kids! While we're all waiting for both L.K and I do finish the last book (SOB!) I thought I'd post a little compilation of something that I've found hilarious.

Keywords Searches. Now on blogs, as most of you probably know, you can keep track of how people have stumble across your website. Most of you have found this blog by searching "Fear Street" or "Shadyside Snark" on Google. But some of you, poor souls, have come across our website by searching some really, REALLY different keywords.

Top Ten WTF Searches!

10. Increased death rate for shadyside for 2009
You know, I like this search. Someone out there was CONCERNED about the increasing amounts of deaths in a fictional town last year. Even though that town really hasn't been featured in a book since 1999. But it's the thought that counts, right?

9. Teen camel toe (x 100000000) + Skirt camel toe
Oh MAN, do people love Teen Camel Toe! I'm pretty sure searching this links to the book where Jade wears a catsuit, and L.K. was really concerned that she would have a camel toe. So thanks L.K.! for helping us achieve 100 000 hits by attracting 10 year old boys that aren't ready to look at real vagina's yet ☺

8. Incidents of boob touching + Heroine boobs touching in parties
This is also from the 10 year old boy fan group, I imagine. Although "incidents" seems like kind of a grown up word for young boys to be using. Maybe this is an actual "incident" that someone is looking up?

7. I would wrestle the babysitter + BABYSITTING WRESTLING.
OH LORD, I would TOTALLY wrestle the babysitter too! This search might have been mine…

6. Cute & sweet homosexual + Homosexual sweet kids
Well this one is my fault. I MAY have titled my review of the second Fear Street Seniors "Sweet Homosexual Zombie Child Kisses". But in my defense, there were homosexual child Zombie kisses!! So really, if we're pointing fingers, we should really be pointing them at R.L. Right?

5. George olsen maine prison 2009
This one required some detective work. Who is George Olsen? Why is he in a Maine prison (presumably)? Unfortunately, since I'm NOT a detective, I just retyped that search into Google and half-hearted looked at the results. There was a bunch about Boy George in jail! I also couldn't find any mention of Shadyside Snark, so I'm confused as to how this person found our website. But hey, just imagine how confused THEY were when they arrived at a Fear Street fan website!

4. Lisa Blume sex tape
Also requiring detective work! Now the only link for a Lisa Blume is to an IMBD reference. Lisa Blume has only been in one movie: "The Hills Have Thighs". Which is a porn, right? WRONG! It's an "Appalachian Comedy" where Lisa Blume plays Velveeta Adams, a lesbian twin who is forced to live in a basement. That movie is UNBELIEVABLY not a porn. However, another "The Hills Have Thighs" was released in 2010, and it is totally a porn. But Lisa Blume does not star in it. Another confused horny man stumbles upon our fair website!

3. Milfs Blind date doing the splits
I feel like there must be a certain video that this person is looking for. Like maybe on the old show "Blind Date"? Some milf did the splits?

2. Didn't mean to hurt your feelings sweetheart please forgive me
Ah yes. The old "look-on-a-Fear-Street-Fan-page" to find advice on how to get someone to forgive you. I also feel that this person must be young. Hurt feelings?

1. The story of Phoebe the zombeh. She's not happy unless she's gnawing on human flesh.
Finally! Someone after my own heart! I really can't express how happy I am to know that there is another person out there with an extreme love of Zombies. I want to know about this Phoebe. Is there fan fiction I could read?!

And finally, the Oh so close runners up!

Blogspot + shadyside snark
Like you couldn't have put those two ideas into shadysidesnark.blogspot.com? Really?
Jadefetish.it
I bet they got to read some sweeeet stories about some camel toes!
How to craft fists of steel
YES
Corky coragan everywhere
She was in a large amount of books, wasn't she?
Peter Sturdevant
This found me mostly Facebook accounts. Somewhere, some crazy girl has an epic crush, and has been googling the shit out of him
"Killers Kiss" "Sweat"
Ahh delicious. Also, judging by R.L.'s love of grotesque kisses, no wonder someone found our little blog.
Old Cheerleaders Never Die…
Menacing! Is this true!?A. M. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-37691039670014211082010-07-25T17:04:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:52:12.138-07:00Fear Street Seniors: Prom Date, or "Be Careful What You Wish For, Especially If You Wish For Psychopathic Killers"

I read a review of this book online, and boy was that plot line different from what I read. The overview I found was this: Trisha Conrad is dating Gary Fresno but is forced to attend the prom with Matty Winger, the biggest geek in school, just because his father is an important business partner of Mr. Conrad. Trisha goes with Matty, but at the prom she humiliates him in front of the whole school. Soon Trisha begins receiving threatening notes, and assumes Matty is responsible until he is found dead. Trisha later finds out that Mary O'Connor is the culprit; she hates Trisha for stealing her boyfriend Gary.

Here is the real (and way more cracked out) version:

Trisha is having nightmares about being a Fear, where all her ancestors are telling her she's evil and she needs to join them, before they tear off her head and enter into her brain. She's woken up by the maid, Celia.

The Conrads (her parents) are off to Europe that morning, where her dad is expanding his mall development business in London, Paris and Rome. Okay, malls in Europe, ew. I would find it shattering to find out that all the French kids hung out at WalMart or something. Let's keep America in America, shall we? Anyways, Trisha's mom is kind of mysterious about whether or not she knows that Trisha is a Fear, but before she heads out she gives her a blown glass wishing well. She calls it a good luck charm and says it's been in the family for a long time, an heirloom. Trisha is suspicious of the well's origins.

At school the next day, she tells Jen Fear at lunch about her nightmares that she's actually evil, because Jen is the only one who knows her secret. Then some other girls come over and they all giggle about the prom and how fun it's going to be. Trish is going with Gary, and in her inner monologue she gushes about how hot and great he is. She also thinks it's a good thing Dana has prom to worry about, so she doesn't have to worry about her recently-dead twin.

Jen is just mad that she doesn't have a date, which when compared to Dana's issues seems like a stunning lack of priorities. But Jen is pretty bitter about this. Trisha agrees that she for sure couldn't go on her own. So, Shadyside is pretty evolved when it comes to that kind of thing, then.

Just then Trisha has a vision – a bloody body crumpled up like a piece of paper. It's Gary. She immediately goes to tell him about his impending doom. He blows it off, which I might reconsider when looking at how many deaths she's accurately predicted. But he's very sweet about it, promising to be extra careful, so you know that he does really like her.

Jen and Trisha are back at Trisha's place. Jen is jealous when she sees Trish has bought two prom dresses so that she has options the big night. Trisha gives Jen the wishing well charm to help her get a date. What a lovely show of charity on Trisha's part!

Jen tries to convince herself she doesn't want to go to the prom, because people always seem to die when the seniors get together at a big event (seems pretty reasonable) but she admits to herself she'd rather have a date. And die a bloody death then miss her prom is the subtext, but we've already determine Jen doesn't have great life priorities.

Josie catches up to her on the street to tell her she has a date – that dweeb Matty Winger, who is a loser but preferable to missing the dance totally. They go to Jen's house and imagine the perfect guy to take them to the prom. Jen is gripping the good luck charm as she makes up her boy.

Next day, Jen is miserable at the prom committee. The best part is they've decided that their major decoration feature is going to be giant globes made out of glass suspended from the ceiling. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't want to go to a dance that had those, in the real world where people didn't die on a daily basis, let alone in Shadyside where I was a member of a class doomed to die before the year was up. Sounds like a Carrie-like death trap waiting to happen.

Jen continues to be miserable – this plot line is wearing thin and something better happen. Okay. That night a boy calls her. His name is Duke Carpenter, he goes to Waynesbridge and apparently they met last year some time. He hasn't stopped thinking about her and asks to take her to her own prom.

Having no idea who he is, Jen agrees to go to prom with him on the spot – but wants to meet him first to make sure he isn't a serial killer. Who are you kidding Jen? You would absolutely go to prom with a serial killer. They decide to meet at The Corner the next day.

Jen dreams that she's at the prom that night, and all the globes fall and shatter on the prom goers, killing her faceless date. She's probably dreaming this because it's intensely likely!

At the Corner, Jen waits and waits for her potential Prince Charming. Several potentials come in, but no mystery Duke. He's stood her up. Jen wonders if the whole Duke thing was a mean prank and goes back to being miserable. Duke calls her that night with an improbably tale of a car running out of gas. She thinks his story is cute and forgives him. He wants to come out to meet with her.

Jen goes to buy a prom dress with Josie, and gets a lovely sheath of midnight blue. She calls Duke at the number he gave her, but it's a disconnected number. She looks in the phone book for Carpenter, and they don't exist – anywhere, she checks the whole county like a big stalker. She begins to wonder, again, if Duke lied to her and decides he's not really for her. She gets home to find a gorgeous guy standing on her porch.

Duke is even better than her made-up man – handsome, charming, funny, smart. He keeps going on about the wild night they spent together of which Jen has no recollection. She decides it must have been REALLY wild if she didn't remember it, and thinks of it no more.

Jen gets ready for Duke, at the last moment bringing along the wishing well. Her handsome date picks her up in a limo, then they go to pick up their friends – Josie and Matty, and Clarissa and Will. Duke is perfect and charming with them. Will makes a funny crack about Duke's tux, and Jen is momentarily scared he'll get pissed, but he laughs and thinks her friends are awesome.

The prom is beautiful, full of deadly glass and lights. Jen and Duke dance romantically together. He goes to get her some punch and a glass globe falls on his head. Actually, it barely misses him and just sprays glass on a bunch of people. Your typical fun-filled Shadyside surprise. He brushes it off (Okay?...) Dana reminds them they're all going to Fear Lake after the prom, as per tradition.

The kids walk to the limo. All of a sudden, Duke starts beating up Will, like hardcore beating him. Jen pulls him off, but he grabs her and shoves her into the limo, where Josie and Matty are inside already. He screams for the limo to go. He tells Jen he did it because Will made fun of his tux. Seems reasonable.

He gets the driver to pull over at a liquor store, so that they can party properly. The rest of them are locked into the back. The driver for some reason ignores them and the phone is dead. Gary pulls up next to the limo with Trisha and goes into the liquor store. He can't hear the kids shouting at him. A fight breaks out inside. Duke runs out with a knife in hand, Gary goes after him. Duke plunges the knife into his chest. Gary crumples like a piece of paper, blood gushing out, Trisha's vision comes true. Trisha is screaming and crying when Duke hops back into the limo, telling the driver to get to the party.

The driver turns around slowly. It's Josie's Doom demon, grinning at them under a chauffeur's hat. All the kids scream as the limo takes off to Fear Lake. Duke gets them to drive past the party, to a quiet beach by the lake. He tells Josie and Matty to stay where they are and drags Jen into the woods for a private party.

Duke tells her that he dreamed him up with the wishing well, so he's her perfect guy, but he came with all the anger and jealousy she was feeling at the time. Now she's stuck with him, they'll be together forever. Jen doesn't like that much, so she beans him with a tree trunk and knocks him out. Josie and Matty come running up and they decide to drown him. They drag him to the lake. Not surprisingly, he comes to and starts to choke Jen. She thinks she can wish him away with the wishing well, but Duke grabs her hand and the well goes flying in the air.

Duke grabs it, thinking he's won, but it bursts into flames and sets him on fire. Apparentely water can't put it out, because he is standing in a lake and all, but he burns up, leaving behind the wishing well.

Getting back to the limo, they see the Doom driver is done. They drive the limo home. Jen goes to bed, but someone is in her room. It's Trisha. Trisha is moaning that she is evil, that everyone she loves dies, that it's all her fault that Gary died. She tearfully tells Jen that she doesn't think they'll survive Graduation …

Ooh, is your interest piqued? I can't wait to read the last of the series, and the last of all our Fear Street books.

As for Prom Date, it was alright. Jen is not exactly the most intriguing character and for the most part I just want to punch her in the mouth for feeling sorry for herself. Duke was hella interesting though. A better ending would have been a shower of glass globes on everyone, or an homage to Carrie somehow. You could have done so much with this, R. L. I'm a little disappointed. I'll give this 8 blown glass mysterious wishing wells of evil out of 17.
L. K. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-4140846254560815242010-06-24T16:44:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:54:11.267-07:00Wicked or "Don't Trust The Guy You Tried To Murder Yesterday"
First of all, I would like to say a Happy Second Anniversary to our little Fear Street
blog! Two years ago, L.K. and I decided to indulge our secret love of terrible 90's
horror fiction and share it with the world! Since then, we've read almost 150 (!!) Fear Streets and had almost 100 000 hits on Shadyside Snark. All thanks to you people who enjoy reading about Fear Street too! Is it too much if I bake a cake today?

Moving on… to Wicked. The 10th book in the Seniors series revolves around Marla Newman's need to please her mother. Marla needs to be valedictorian to finally impress her mother! What someone should have told her long ago, is that if her mother doesn't like her by now, at age 18, probably nothing Marla does is
going to change that. Just sayin'!

I actually didn't remember the prologue until I was looking back through my notes, and it's kinda surprising because the prologue is pretty creepy! Melanie Anderson (not a senior so we already know she doesn't matter) is getting ready for the day when she sees two girls appear in the mirror. No, they aren't in the room with her, just in the mirror. She seems to know them and is freaked the eff out! Melanie tries to escape her room, but runs into a magical silver wire… that slices her head off. "Sliced it off so neatly, so clean – her body ran another two or three steps before it even realized the head was gone." Shudder! Also, can anyone verify that? I don't think that can really happen… although I've heard of people's faces moving after they've been decapitated. Blech. Not the way I wanted to start my morning.

Alright, enough with the disgusting decapitation. Marla is competing with Kenny Klein for the spot of Valedictorian. They're sitting near each other in the cafeteria, right before they're suppose to face off in a social studies debate. Clarissa Turner has the unfortunate luck to accidently spill some ice tea on Marla. And Marla FREAKS the fuck out. Like screams at Clarissa for being SO stupid and yada yada yada. I mean, we all think that when someone spills something on us, but we're not crazy enough to yell about it in front of the whole school. As Clarissa walks away, Marla thinks about how sweet it would be if something terrible happened to Clarissa. Just then, Clarissa slips and falls in her food! Marla is pleased, like the psycho she is.

Two girls approach Marla after the cafeteria incident. Roxanne and Elena tell Marla that they saw what she did to Clarissa – she has the POWER to affect people with her mind! Since they are lowly juniors, and Marla thinks she's totally awesome she blows them off as crazy girls and goes to the debate.

Reaming out Clarissa had some unfortunate side effects for Marla though, as now all of Clarissa's friends hate her. Ahhhh girls in high school. We…pretty much never grow out of that. Josie Maxwell and Trisha Conrad are all up in Marla's face too. Right before Marla and Kenny are set to debate, she notices that Roxanne and Elena have come into the auditorium and are going to be watching the debate. Kenny goes first and speaks eloquently and passionately, and basically owns it. Marla could have taken him down (she thinks) except when she tries to come up with a rebuttal… she can't make any noise! Well that's not true, she can burp, but she can't talk or say anything! Marla's day doesn't get much better. After her disaterous, and gassy debate speech, she receives a lower mark on a French test (85%) and then Josie, Clarissa and Trisha play a recording of her debate (non) speech over the intercom system!

Marla is SO steamed about all this that she…makes a "People I Hate" list. Of course she does. #1 is Kenny, then it goes on until basically everyone at Shadyside High is named. Productive! She may as well named it "People I will shoot first when I finally snap!"

Later that day, Marla dreads telling her mom about her bad French test, but a funny thing happens. When she pulls it out to show her mom (she's 18 and showing her mom her homework? Really?) the test says 98%. Marla decides she must be more out of it that she thought!

Just when things were turning around for Marla, she gets to school the next day and finds that someone found her "People I Hate" list and tacked it to the school bulletin board. Well, that's the price you pay for being crazy! Marla is worried that people will start hating her. I think it would help her cause if she didn't constantly think to herself "I'll show them! I'll show all of them!" because that's what crazy villains think, right before they blow something up.

Marla knows that Josie Maxwell tacked it up, and decides to get some revenge by throwing her clothes (black leotard and baggy black jeans BTW) into the school dumpster while Josie is in gym class. Marla is predicatable shoved into the dumpster by a mysterious force. And if falling into a dumpster doesn't sound like a fate worse than death, then I invite you to come over to my dumpster. Because just the thought of going near it makes me want to cry.

Marla is finally approached by the two girls, Roxanne and Elena again after she gets out of the dumpster. Apparently, they were SERIOUS about being witches and really want her to join them. They discuss how there needs to be three of them, since their last third "isn't around anymore" (Melanie Anderson, anyone??) Marla agrees to meet them in the Fear Street woods that night.

So they really are witches. When Marla gets there, crazy magic happens, and they get Marla to sign an ancient pact (written in an ancient language) in blood. Let me tell you kids, that is NEVER a good idea. No good has ever come from using your blood as ink. Trust me. After numerous scary witch-y things, Marla wakes up in her bed.

Everything goes Marla's way the next day. She looks better, does better on tests, and tells her new found witch friends that she feels up to doing something "outrageous". They suggest she takes her energy out on someone on her hate list. She decides to make Trisha Conrad's skirt rip and fall off (underlying issues?). Roxanne and Elena don't think that's good enough though. They want to punish the girls that were mean to Marla! So they use their power (and Marla's somehow) to push Josie Maxwell through a glass door. Josie survives, but is really cut up.

Marla wants to leave the pact (already?!) but apparently, pacts signed in blood are pretty binding. Like forever binding. Marla is unhappy but realizes she has to go along with it. That is, until she finds out that she needs to kill someone within the month or else the "Dark Forces" will kill her. Marla freaks out even more, and tells the girls she won't go through with it. Roxanne and Elena spend the next day freaking out Marla but having objects change into snakes, and people around her generally become possessed. Marla was pretty easy to convince, because she quickly decides she'd rather kill Kenny Klein that risk having a rope turn into a snake again! (Not all snakes kill you know, MARLA)

Marla goes over to Kenny's house under the guise of studying for French. It's pretty cute because Kenny obviously has a crush on Marla (who else would help their rival study). It becomes less cute when Marla attempts to strangle him to death with her power. She can't go through with it, so Kenny is all "WTF did you just try to murder me!?" Marla break down and tells Kenny the whole truth about the girls and magic and how she needs to kill someone. He doesn't seem as upset as I would be about the fact that Marla could kill ANYONE, but chose him. In fact, he decides to help her solve her little evil witchcraft problem.

Marla asks the two girls to Fear Street woods the next day, because Kenny (who can obviously read ancient languages) has discovered that these blood pacts never have a "need-to-murder" clause! The girls must be lying! Why would we trust Kenny? As it turns out, the girls are much more powerful than her, and Marla ends up being frozen into an ice cube before Kenny can even come out of his hiding spot!

The four of them end up having a pretty epic (by that I mean LONG, not cool) fight scene that is interspersed with Kenny and Marla making out. Elena dies first, by being thrown into a giant pit that opened up in the earth. Kenny eventually sets Roxanne on fire but since that STILL didn't kill her, Marla shoves her into the pit again. Kenny and Marla are so happy they committed murder against two of their classmates and go home.

Question: Why does killing the other two matter? Doesn't she still have a pact with the "Dark Forces?" Marla doesn't seem to think so. Turns out she's dead wrong! Kenny rushes up to her before school the next day, saying he did more research and found out something more…turns out if you kill someone who practices the Dark Arts, you DIE exactly 12 hours later. Which happened to be at that exact moment, and Marla is sucked into a pit that opened up in the earth. YEAH! That's how it ends! Maybe Kenny actually knew about this, but didn't tell Marla as punishment for trying to KILL him the day before? I like ending better.

Another question? Why didn't that happen to Roxanne and Elena when they killed their former third partner, Melanie? Just asking R.L…. Okay, this book wasn't the best. It was crazy, but not THAT crazy. I was kinda hoping that after Marla killed the two girls they would discover that it was all a practical joke that Marla took too seriously. I like that ending better too. So I give Wicked 32 fake-endings-I-like-better out of 57. I was looking for more out of the last few books of the series!

Just two more left! L.K. and I have decided that as a special treat for you guys, we're both going to read the last Seniors book and post our own separate write ups. So we can compare exactly how much each of us leaves out, fudges over, and forgets. Oh yes, and also so we can compete about who is funnier. Vote for me!A. M. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-14316553867915067612010-06-09T14:37:00.000-06:002016-02-09T11:42:22.084-07:00Fear Street Seniors: Spring Break, or "Nancy Drew Mystery of the Desert Coyote"

In this next thrilling episode of our intrepid Fear Street seniors, Josh and Josie Maxwell (who are step-brother and sister) go off on separate different spring break experiences. Josh's seems really exciting, and Josie's is so boring that I would have preferred to shoot myself then to experience it. BUT, that's kinda a comment on their personalities, so I guess that's what you get when you're a whiny bitch, Josie.

The book is, as ever, broken into a million "parts" going back and forth between the two Maxwells. Neither story actually has anything to do with each other until the end, so it seems really disjointed. Don't get all excited that the ending will tie it together in some awesome way, though – it doesn't.

Part One

Let's start off with Josh's spring break. His kick-ass vacation begins by flying into Tuscon, as he's going to spend the time at Trisha "I'm evil" Conrad's Arizona ranch. With him is his buddy Mickey, Dierdre Palmer and Gary Fresno.

As a refresher, Gary is Trisha's tough, wrong-side-of-the-tracks boyfriend, who she stole from sad Mary O'Connor. And Mickey is dating Dierdre's identical twin sister, Dana. Dana was supposed to come, but came down with the flu, so sent Dierdre as her replacement. Dierdre is in love with Mickey, so she'll be potentially replacing Dana in all aspects of Mickey's trip.

Josh actually seems to be a nice guy. He's happy to be away from all the troubles that plague the senior class in Shadyside, and hopes to relax in Arizona. Although with Gary around, and the Conrads in Australia, he thinks things could get a little crazy.

In the luggage area, Josh bumps into a big guy in a cowboy hat, who immediately starts a fight with him. Josh pulls a manly move and runs away. Gary wants to go back and fight, but everyone finally gets loaded up into the van with no violence.

Not for long. The dick in the cowboy hat follows them and starts to chase them off the road. A rather extreme reaction to being bumped by some guy, I think. Someone needs some anger management. Finally, after an almost run in with a truck, dude flies off the road and gets stuck in the sand. The teens are safe for now.

They find themselves at the Conrad's luxurious sprawling ranch, complete with pools, chefs and of course "the help." Josh sees a hot girl  and drops his bag immediately, because he's a bit of a dork. He picks everything up with a blush, but she seems kind of into him. Her name is Rose, and her father is the foreman of the ranch, Simon.

Once in his room, Josh realizes his bag doesn't belong to him. It belongs to the red-neck crazy, Clay Hartley, and in it he finds a gun. Josh figures this Clay guy wouldn't be to happy if the authorities find it. Rose agrees to take him to the address so he can do the bag switch face-to-face.

As he gets to the house, there's an earthquake. That's a random bit of scariness – are there earthquakes in Arizona? I actually want to know. Anyways, Josh runs away like a girly man, making Rose (probably) question her liking of him.

Part Two

Josie Maxwell is unspeakably dull. She spends her spring break whining about being bored to her equally boring friend Jennifer Fear (who became dull as soon as you find out she's not a real Fear). They dress up like sluts and go to the bar with fake IDs to alleviate the boredom. How common of them.

They get kicked out immediately and Jen has a flat tire. Ooh, chills. This will be scary. They meet some vaguely cute college randoms who take them for a short drive. When they return to Jen's car, someone has written "Wanna play" across the windshield.

Part Three

Back to the actual story. The teens are sitting around the campfire at night. They are joined by Roberto, a college student working the archeological site on the other side of the ranch. Roberto is flirting with Trisha, which is driving Gary crazy.

Rose and Simon tell the kids the ranch is built on the lands of the Hohokam Indians (not pc, I know. That's what they call them in the book). Hohokam means "The Vanished Ones." Apparently the tribe disappeared suddenly about 500 years ago. Roberto is digging up Hohokam artifacts. The kids want to visit the site, but Rose freaks.

There have been a lot of accidents and disappearances around the site. Rose thinks it's more than just bad luck – she blames La Amadora. She is a ghostly protector of the Hohokam people. Although clearly she didn't do a very good job if they all disappeared. She appears in the form of desert animals or a woman in a red cape. Sounds to me like a ghost story invented to keep people away from the dig site. This is totally like a Nancy Drew. I bet there's a drug trafficking ring operating out of the site. Or something.

Josh catches Mickey sneaking off with Dierdre. His words are "Dana isn't here. Dierdre is the next best thing." I guess. Josh is skeptical about this too. Josh goes to his room alone. He hears a woman wailing outside, but he can't see anything outside. Mickey gets back from his cheating, and they decide to go check out the dig there and then.

Dierdre comes running after them because she got scared. The three of them head into the desert. They find the site soon, and Josh immediately falls into a pit. Climbing out he smashes a piece of pottery. That's probably a reason to not have dumbass teens at a dig site.

And yet Roberto still lets them come out the next day to the site. When they get there, Trisha has one of her visions. She sees a coyote with red stripes, then all of them fly into the air and vanish. They decide to get out of the site and check out the cactus forest. Josh is walking with Trisha when he hears a buzzing – kind of like a rattle. He turns in time to see a rattlesnake bite Trisha's leg. Maybe it knew she's evil. She's taken to the hospital, but will be okay. Josh begins to wonder if the tribal spirit is real.

Part Four

Jen and Josie start dating the college randoms. Creepy things happen to them.

Part Five

Mickey, Gary and Dierdre go see a drive-in movie, leaving Josh and Rose at the rand alone. They go for a walk in the desert and make out. Suddenly Rose dashes off into the cacti. Josh follows and finds only an angry coyote.

The coyote totally takes Josh. Are coyotes really that strong? I've come across a few and I don't have the enduring fear that Josh seems to have of them. They're like wild dogs, right? I mean, I'd be scared if I was a chihuahua, but I'm not.

Anyways, Simon shows up in the nick of time and shoots the evil coyote. Rose shows up again and blames La Amadora. Not the fact that she ran away in the desert.

Josh returns to his room to find it trashed. He's angry, but he deals with it like a guy and goes to sleep. He wakes up later with a figure in a red cloak standing over him with a knife.

Part Six

Josie thinks creepy things are happening to them because of the stupid Doom Spell she cast. She confesses to Jen, who confesses she's not a Fear. While on the phone with one of the college randos (who clearly never figure out call waiting), she overhears that they've been doing the creepy things to the high school girls to scare them so they'll put out faster. Cute.

Part Seven

Josh chases off the hooded intruder. Then goes back to sleep.

Next morning the teens go for a horseback ride up a ridge. Trisha realizes the ridge is where she saw her vision happening, where they all fly over the edge. Everyone freaks and they turn around back to the ranch.

Mickey takes off to hang out with Dierdre. Cheesiest line of the book:

"I promised Dierdre I'd show her how to do the backstroke."<o:p></o:p>

Josh blinked. "Like you're an Olympic swimmer?"<o:p></o:p>

"Who's talking about swimming?"<o:p></o:p>

You stay classy, Mickey. You KNOW someone changed "breaststroke" to "backstroke" on this one. R.L., I'm not sure how I feel about this blatant censoring of my Fear Street novels. Backstroke doesn't even make any sense.

That evening, the hooded figure trashes Rose's room. Josh assumes it's Roberto, the archeologist. NOT Clay Hartley, the red-neck probably looking for his gun. He doesn't need a reason for this – let's just blame the archeologist.

Gary and Josh go to beat him up. At the dig site. But he isn't there and the vigilantes get distracted by a picnic Rose set up for them.

They follow her up to the ridge of death again. Who should be waiting there but one angry Clay Hartley. With a rifle. Guess he didn't need his gun after all. They probs should have paid attention to Trisha's vision.

Clay lines them up along the edge of the ridge and demands "it" from Josh. Every time Josh claims he doesn't know what he's talking about, he makes the kids take a step backwards.

Dierdre takes a step too far, and plunges over the edge. They hear her crack on the rocks below.

Josh attacks Clay and gets the gun away from him. Rose tries to soothe Josh and takes the gun. Once she has it she turns on the kids. Rose was in league with Clay all along. Clay jumps Josh and demands the coyote.

Mickey picks up on this and produces a clay figurine of a coyote from his pack. Rose and Clay were stealing artifacts from the Hohokam site and selling them to dealers. The La Amarada thing was just to scare nosy people away from the site. I knew it! Totally like a Nancy Drew. The coyote had come out of Clay's bag when Josh dropped it, and Mickey picked up the statue later. He was going to give it to his girlfriend, Dana. Who is his girlfriend again, now that her twin sister he'd been fooling around with conveniently stepped off a cliff, I guess.

The coyote has red stripes – just like Trisha's vision. Clay goes to shove them all off the cliff, but Rose stops him. They fight and in the skirmish Clay knocks the coyote over the cliff edge. He dives after it, and Josh grabs his legs just in time. Nice guy. I would have let him jump.

Roberto and Simon show up then to save the day. For most of them, anyways. Dierdre is dead. Rose and Clay are led away. As Josh leaves the desert, through waves of shimmering heat he sees a woman in a red cloak standing next to a coyote.

Part Eight

Josie comes up with a plan to get back at creepy college guys. She gets them to the Fear Street cemetery, and has her classmates dress up as ghosts to scare them. The ghosts work well. Instead of getting turned on, the way girls do when they're scared, the guys run away screaming.

The best ghost is Dierdre Palmer. She looks really dead, and no one knows how she appeared to float, or walk through a gravestone.

Dana didn't stick around for the after-party later, though. Josie called her to thank her, but a tearful Dana told her she had never showed. She had just gotten word of her sister's death that night …

Oooh, okay that last part was a little creepy. I can't believe R.L. killed Dierdre, she seemed nice other than the cheating with her twin's boyfriend thing. I liked the 'mystery of the desert' thing going on here. I would give this full marks, if it weren't for Josie's whining. 84 striped coyotes out of 91.

L. K. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-47627805048498849352010-05-27T14:12:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:55:41.952-07:00Sweetheart, Evil Heart or "Cheating Kills. In Increasingly Random Ways."

Oooo do I love Valentine's Day horrors! I think it's the combination of love, teenaged lust and murder. Guaranteed to be sexy times, right? Oh wait, we're reading an R.L. Stine book. Never mind. There will be zero sexiness involved. Well, lets hope someone dies at least.

This book centers around Ty Sullivan and his lovely THREE girlfriends. Yes, three. Why? Who knows. He's certainly not getting any action. All he seems to do is take them out on expensive dates, then chastely kiss them at the end of the night. Sooo kinda pointless, right? And of course they all go to the same school. No one will EVER find out about this, right? Ty has one "official" girlfriend – Phoebe Yamura. She's pretty and the captain of the cheerleading squad. He's secretly dating Trisha Conrad as well (you remember her? A true Fear? Has fantastic visions? Richest girl in town?) and she also has a boyfriend, Gary Fresno, who is a total douchebag. Ty is also dating Marla Newman who is the resident brainy girl. Poor Marla.

Ty starts the story off by bragging to his best friend Mickey about all the sweet non-action he's getting from his 3 girlfriends. Marla and Trisha are both dating him because he told them he's about to break up with Phoebe. Um, why don't they just have some self-respect, and wait until he actually does it? Oh, right, 16 year old girls. That explains EVERYTHING. Mickey warns Ty to be careful because both Phoebe and Gary have some wicked, jealous tempers. Ty laughs that off, because he has absolutely no foresight.

Marla comes over that day to "study" so Ty takes her to his romantic attic. They chastely kiss for a few minutes and then Ty finds something in the old desk up there. It's a Valentine's Day card addressed to him, but it looks super old. It reads:

"DEAREST TYLER,
I'VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG FOR YOU. I ACHE FOR YOUR KISS. WRITE ME, OR I WILL DIE. BRING YOUR LETTER TO THE SHADYSIDE CEMETERY, AND LEAVE IT UNDER THE OLD ELM TREE NEAR THE FEAR FAMILY TOMBSTONES.
LOVE, AMY" (I have no idea why all their letters are written in CAPS. It just makes it seem like they're yelling at each other)

Well that's certainly believable. Right after they find the Valentine, Marla realizes she's late and has to go. What, their "date" was 15 minutes? Phoebe shows up right after Marla leaves for HER date as well. So Ty scheduled these dates approx. 20 minutes apart? How on EARTH does he think he'll never get caught? He also decides that he will write Amy back, because he "can't let her die, can he?" Ugh, he's such a smug little asshole.

Ty is out with Trisha later in the week, and she's making him awkward because she is hinting about the Valentine's Day dance and Ty hasn't decided who to take yet. Doesn't it seem obvious that if he doesn't take his official girlfriend, the whole jig will be up? That becomes the least of Ty's problems though, because Gary has followed the two lovebirds in his car, and caught up to them. He flies into an insanely jealous rage but manages to convince Trisha to leave with him. Healthy teenaged relationship there.

When Ty gets home from his disasterous date with Trisha, there's a new letter from Amy waiting for him! So exciting!

"DEAREST TY,
I KNEW YOU WOULD COME. I KNEW YOU WERE MY SOULMATE. NOTHING CAN SEPARATE US NOW. NOT EVEN A HUNDRED YEARS. PLEASE BRING ME ANOTHER NOTE.
LOVE, AMY"

Ty decides to look up the return address, and speeds over to investigate. For ONCE in this series, the address isn't on "Fear Street". But the lot is empty (of course). Ty decides to ask for a picture in his latest letter. He can't believe this is happening to him! Soooo. He's believing this. He believes he is SO irresistible to women, they contact him from beyond the grave.

Mickey and Ty are goofing off in school the next day, and Mickey spills the beans to their friend Kenny about Ty's 3 girlfriends. Ty's pretty upset at Mickey, and chooses to take it out on Justin Thompson, the "geek" that has the locker next to him. Seems appropriate. I don't think we've met Justin yet, although he does have his picture in the yearbook!

Ty gets home that day with Phoebe and he's gotten another Valentine. Phoebe is kinda weirded out that Ty has been communicating with this person, because it is CLEARLY a joke.

"BELOVED TY,
YOUR NOTES KEEP ME ALIVE, EVEN THOUGH WE ARE SEPERATED BY SO MUCH TIME. I SHALL ALWAYS BE TRUE TO YOU, MY DEAREST. ARE YOU BEING TRUE TO ME? I AM ASHAMED TO CONFESS THAT I HAVE A TERRIBLE, JEALOUS TEMPER!
LOVE, AMY"

Really subtle there, "Amy".

This Seniors book is a little bit different as well, because sometimes the point of view changes to Trisha's. Gary and Trisha are fighting in the car about Ty, and Gary does the super macho thing of driving irradically until Trisha is scared enough to say she'll never see Ty again. That'll keep her!

When she gets home to her gigantic mansion, there's a note from Amy waiting for her. "STAY AWAY FROM TY. HE'S ALL MINE NOW." This throws Trisha into a tizzy and she has one of her visions. She sees a boy, dying on the ground in front of her. But she can't tell who it is! She knows Gary is furious at Ty, and thinks it must be one of the two boys that will die. She has to warn them!

But takes a few days to do it. She tells Gary first who freaks out that Trisha mentions Ty's name. He vows that it will be TY who ends up dead! Real stable there, Gary. Trisha goes out with Ty to the movies later that week to warn him too. He's really creeped out, and even more so when they get back to his car, and all the tires have been slashed. Oh and also, a bunny was murdered in the back seat and everything is covered with bunny blood. Well, that's just upsetting. Ty goes to confront Gary later that night, but Gary's car is broken so it couldn't have been him. But Gary certainly isn't happy to hear that Ty and Trisha went out that night. Maybe he'll have to follow through on his plan to KILL Trisha for going out with Ty.

Ty gets home from his confrontation and there's a new Valentine waiting for him. This time it's the picture he asked for! He can't really see her face, because her enormous bonnet is covering it. But the back has "I WARNED YOU ABOUT MY JEALOUS TEMPER" written on it. Creepy! Ty writes his dead girlfriend a break up letter, and tells her not to contact him anymore because he won't write back! That will show your crazy, supernatural love!

The next day, Ty and the incredibly geeky Justin (he's into computers?! GROSS) have another run in near their lockers. By that time mostly everyone is in class so no one is there to see when Ty opens his locker and its full of blood! More bunnies? No, there is no blood source. But there is a new letter for Ty when he gets home!

"DEAREST TY,
I CANNOT FORGIVE YOUR CRUELTY. I CANNOT LET YOU LIVE. YOUR GIRLFRIENDS MUST DIE TOO.
LOVE, AMY"

She handled that break up well. Ty writes her another note, apologizing for being cruel, and well. It's basically the worst letter ever:

"DEAR AMY,
I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS. I DON'T HATE YOU OR ANYTHING, BUT IT WILL BE BETTER IF YOU STAY IN YOUR TIME AND I STAY IN MINE. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. ANY PLEASE LEAVE US ALONE.
GOOD LUCK,
TY"

Really, Ty? "I don't hate you or anything"? "Good LUCK"?! With what? Getting over him? UGH. Anyways, Ty is certain Amy won't be bothering him anymore after that GEM. But while he's relaxing at home with Phoebe, Marla comes pounding into Ty's house because she was beat up by a girl outside his house! Luckily for Ty, neither girl questions why the other one was there.

The next day, Marla also shows him a note she got: "I MAY BE DEAD – BUT YOU ARE NEXT TO DIE. STAY AWAY FROM HIM". Ty is freaking out because his flawless plan isn't working!! Later Phoebe shows him a note that she got. And finally, Trisha shows him a note that she got from Amy as well. And mentions that Phoebe and Marla got them too! "This is really scary Ty! And how come they got messages, too? What's the connection?" The connections in Trisha's brain are clearly not working either...

He tries convincing the girls it's all just a joke. But it seems they don't really see it that way, because when he invites each of the girls to the Valentine's Day dance – separately – they all turn him down for other obligations. Did they figure it out, or are they too creeped out?

He goes to the dance anyways. Looking for a 4th living girlfriend? While he's hanging out with his friends though, he sees…Amy! Well he sees a girl in an old fashioned bonnet and clothes. He follows her up to the balcony, but he keeps seeing her in different spots! Like she's a g-g-g-g-GHOST! While he's looking over the dance floor, someone starts shoving him, and trying to push him over the railing. It's Amy! Oh wait, nope, it's Phoebe in disguise. And the other two girls, also dressed like Amy.

They knew the whole time that Ty was cheating and wanted to play a prank on him. They had no idea he would be SO into himself, he would believe it! Ty runs out of the dance to save himself any more humiliation. In the parking lot though, he sees another girl in a bonnet. But if all the girls are inside…who is this unicorn…?

We cut to Trisha's POV. She's feeling pretty guilty about Ty. I guess maybe since she was cheating too, she can empathize more. The girls go out to look for him and find him. DEAD. Just like in Trisha's vision. So where's Gary? Trisha has another vision about Ty's accident. She sees Ty running towards something, then noticing something is following him and running away. Then he gets slammed by a red car. Whew! At least Gary's car isn't red!

The next day Gary tries to get back in Trisha's good graces by apologizing, then offering to take her for a ride in his new. RED. car. Trisha runs screaming away from Gary to the … Fear Street Cemetery. Well, nothing good comes from that! Gary doesn't follow her the whole way, so Trisha feels like she's safe.

And then she runs into Justin Thompson, resident geek. He offers to protect her. Cute! Then tells her that he likes. A LOT. And also licks his lips. Ohhhh that's less cute. Justin confesses that he killed Ty for her. He couldn't stand that he would cheat on her! (What's his plan for Gary?) When it becomes clear to Trisha that Justin is crazy, she starts running, hard. When it becomes clear to Justin that Trisha isn't immediately falling for him, he tackles her and they start to wrestle. Justin is so close to killing Trisha by strangling her, but with her last ounce of strength, she gouges his eyes, then shoves him onto a stone. He busts his head open and dies immediately. Rough week for Trisha.

The book ends with Gary and Trisha working out their problems (verbal abuse and threats long forgotten!) But Trisha walks by the stone that killed Justin and realizes it says:

AMY FEAR 1872-1890.

OoooOOooo! So maybe that was the fourth bonnet girl? Or Justin was cross-dressing? I was disappointed again that a non-central character ended up being the murderer. I wasn't even going to write him into this recap because his part was so insignificant. Then he ended up being the murderer, and I had to go back to find where Ty and Justin had their run ins. Damn you, R.L. for your lame twist! But I was actually way more concerned that this would be a rip off of Double Date, where (*spoiler!*) it was all some lame prank. So well done R.L. for not ripping yourself off! I give this book 48 murderous girlfriends from beyond the grave out of 65!

K I had to add this picture, I actually scanned the back of the book for all of you. Because it appears to be Marla Newman... dressed as a ZOMBIE for the dance? Man, that would have been a WAY better book

A. M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-13207835674006274532010-04-16T15:24:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:56:05.692-07:00Fear Street Seniors: Fight, Team, Fight!, or "Just When You Thought Cheerleaders Couldn't Get More Evil"

This book is all about evil cheerleaders. You think R. L. would have had enough of the whole evil cheerleader thing after the "Evil Cheerleader" series, but apparently there is no such thing as too much evil cheerleaders.

We follow around Phoebe Yamura, Shadyside's token Asian. She's pretty perfect. She's cute, smart, captain of the cheerleading squad, and dating the cutest guy in school, Ty Sullivan. Although you may have noticed he dates everyone.

Soon we find out that Phoebe's life isn't entirely perfect. Her parents are super strict. They won't let her do anything. She's not allowed to date, and she's barely allowed to be on the cheerleading squad. Also, both Jade Feldman and Dana Palmer had wanted to be captain, so they decide to make her life hell until she quits.

Evil pranks start happening to Phoebe. First her uniform is torn to shreds with a note – Give me a H-E-L-P. Ooh, clever. Because she's a cheerleader, see, and they like to spell things out. Jade doesn't deny doing it. Phoebe wants Jade off the team, and knows that she's on academic probation. She figures she just has to wait for Jade to fail her upcoming chem exam and that will be it.

Except Jade, the sneaky bitch, switches their tests, and takes Phoebe's A. The cheerleaders mean girl Phoebe into taking Jade's failing grade in order to keep her on the squad. Jade, after all, can do a triple backflip. In thanks, Jade puts a rubber spider down Phoebe's sweater. Because she's both grateful and mature.

A new cheerleader has joined the squad, Gina, as an alternate. She just transferred from another school and is choked she only gets to be alternate. She reveals that she had a twin sister who died, who was also a cheerleader. That has definite potential to turn into something evil.

Phoebe finds a bloody cheerleader doll in her locker. The note this time reads Score: Me 2. You 0. It takes Phoebe a little while to figure that one out, which goes to show she might not have those "street smarts" everyone keeps talking about. That night at the game, Phoebe goes to take her pom-poms from Gina, and starts screaming in pain. The pom-poms are full of biting red ants. That is quite the difficult prank to arrange. Where does one find red ants, and how do you set them to attack? Phoebe is freaked out, because she doesn't know how far Jade will go in this competition. Or Gina.

Phoebe's parents don't want her on the squad, and think it might be getting dangerous for her. But Phoebe will stay as cheerleading captain if it kills her. At night she starts getting obscene phone calls, someone playing a recording of her cheering. That would creep me out for sure. Phoebe is convinced Jade is stalking her now.

She tries to talk to Ty about it, but whenever she mentions talking he drives her to the Fear Street Cemetery to make out. Seriously?!! Is that what kids are into these days. Because if a guy tried to get busy with me among the headstones, I'm not sure how I would take that. Apparently it's the cool place to go, as they find Jade with her boyfriend Kenny there, fooling around behind a crypt or something.

The next night, the cheerleaders decide to do the flaming baton routine. Okay, Phoebs, not a smart idea, okay? To the surprise of absolutely no one, Phoebe's batons are rigged to burst into flames, and she wakes up at the hospital with second degree burns. In a stunning lack of priorities, her first concern is whether she can compete in the state championships this weekend. She can, so things are cool.

Phoebe and a friend look into Gina, who is growing is suspicion since as alternate she had prepared both Phoebe's batons and pom-poms. They discover that she never went to the high school she said she did. They take this damning evidence to the cheer coach, who informs them that they were looking in the wrong state. Gina finds out and is powerfully pissed they were investigating her.

The morning of the competition, one of the girls gets a cold, so Gina has to take her place on the squad. And share a bunk with Phoebe. Phoebe is sure she's going to do something crazy at the competition. At the hotel, Jade runs to their room, crying, saying Dana was hurt – that she'd cartwheeled into an empty pool. The girls go running out, only to find no Dana. Phoebe starts to get angry, and then all the girls, Gina, Dana, Jade and herself, are grabbed and handcuffed together by some guys who shove them in a van. Awesome.

They are taken to a cabin in the woods. The kidnappers immediately wander away from the girls, who make a break for it. They run down the road, then hide in the bushes when the van comes by. Dana falls into some mud and screams, tipping them off to where they are. Only the van searching for them isn't the kidnappers, it's Griffin, the school janitor who also drives the squad to their games in a school van. They're saved!

Only Griffin drives them deeper into the woods. Phoebe realizes that Griffin is her stalker when he starts to chant some of her cheers. He was the one who had been playing all the evil pranks on her. Of course it was the janitor! How could I have missed that incredibly random bad guy?

Jade and Dana confess they arranged the kidnapping to scare Phoebe off the squad, but that they had nothing to do with Griffin. Griffin went insane because he had a sister on the cheerleading squad when she was in high school. She was only on the squad as kind of a joke, because she wasn't very good. The other girls laughed at her. Then one day they got her to climb to the top of the mount. Only they didn't catch her, they let her fall, and she broke her neck. So he hates all cheerleaders.

He takes them to an abandoned meatpacking plants. Of course, perfect horror book setting. Lots of chainsaws and old machinery around to maim and disfigure. He takes a chain saw and … cuts off their handcuffs. I wouldn't want a psycho with a chain saw anywhere close to me

Griffin tells the girls they have to perform for him, do perfect cheers. He threatens them with a meat hook, very I Know What You Did Last Summer. If anyone messes up, they die. What an exciting game! They run through a few cheers, and Jade at one time uses the wrong foot. Phoebe ends her cheer by cartwheeling into him, knocking him down. She tells the girls to run.

They scatter through the factory. Gina immediately gets her foot caught in a conveyor belt. Griffin turns the belt on, carrying her towards a meat grinder. Phoebe manages to get her out, but they here a chain saw and a scream coming from somewhere else in the plant. The girls are almost free when Griffin catches up with them. He brings them back to finish their routine for him.

Phoebe sprints away. She finds Jade's body, hanging on a meat hook in a freezer. Jade didn't make it. Phoebe also finds a smoke detector. She takes a book of matches and burns them, trying to get enough smoke to set it off. Nothing happens, but points for effort there. Griffin is about to kill Gina with a butcher knife when she interrupts him. He goes after her and is interrupted by … the fire department! My, they got to the middle of the woods in a hurry.

The story ends with Gina being put on the squad to replace Jade, and Phoebe introduces Ty to her parents. And Jade was such a bitch that not too many people missed her. So, happy ending?

I thought this book was going to be ridiculous, but it was kinda okay. Point definitely for the classic horror ending at the meatpacking plant, and for killing off a main character. I give it 12 triple backflips out of 16.
L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-83313265962729289592010-03-26T15:15:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:56:27.572-07:00The Gift or "Digusting Vials of Hair Are Used For Good!"
Fear Street Seniors #6! That means… we're halfway through the final series! Can you believe it? Sigh, time flies when all you do is work and read Fear Street novels. Really flies.

This seniors book centers around Jennifer FEAR. It's pretty rare for an actual Fear to be the focus of a book, and usually when they are, they're totally evil. Jen isn't that bad tho! Her dad is mildly obsessed with their Fear heritage, although Jen hates it because all her classmates think she might be evil. The book starts off right after Christmas, and Jen is going over to see her best friend Trisha (of the psychic visions) to show off the necklace her dad bought her. Jen is super pumped about it, even though it's a FEAR family heirloom. It was owned by Dominique Fear, who was apparently tried for murder and hung!

The girls find out that Dominique died that way because Trisha puts on the necklace and has one of her psychic flashes. She feels like she's Dominique, full of rage, right before she's hanged to death. Hmmm, why did the necklace do that to Trisha and not Jen? The girls try to forget about the creepy necklace vision, and focus on what all girls love to talk about: bad boys! Jen is dating Ty Sullivan, and no one can believe it because usually Ty dates like 8 girls at the same time. But Jen is even bringing Ty to her huge New Years Eve party! He must really like her then.

Well, turns out, not so much. Ty and her go out on a date that night, and he brings her to the cemetery. Really? Like, how cliché. But Jen makes the fatal mistake of asking him to hang out AGAIN, and he freaks out, tells her she's too "serious" and dumps her. Meh, happens to all of us at one point. What DOESN'T usually happen though, is walking up in Ty's backyard, after sleep walking over to his place in the middle of the night. Yewoza! Jen is very confused as to how she wandered over to Ty's house but just kinda scurries home and tries to forget about it.

When Jen gets to school the next day, everyone is abuzz about Ty. And the fact he was attacked in his own backyard the night before! Jen is all "weird, I could have WITNESSED his attack!" and tells Trisha what happened. Trisha and I have the same reaction of, "Ummm, don't you think YOU may have attacked Ty?" I guess Jen never thought of that scenario. Convenient…

Trisha is really upset that Ty dumped Jen though. To the point, that later that day, at Pete's Pizza, Trisha gets up and starts screaming about how upset she is, in front of Ty and his new girlfriend Greta. Well, that must have been awkward for Jen. I mean, you want your friend on your side. But maybe not that PUBLICALLY crazy. Maybe. Jen's night doesn't get much better unfortunately, because on her way home, she nearly hits someone with her car! And best yet, it's TY. He now thinks she's nutters.

Jen has another dream where she slept walked to Ty's house, but this time she brought some matches. Hmm, what could those be for? She walks up in the comfort of her own home though, much to her relief. Only problem is: Trisha comes by to tell her that someone lit Ty's house on fire last night! Everyone's okay, but there was some major damage. Jen doesn't believe it, so they run over to Ty's house to see for herself. While they're inspecting the damage (of her fresh ex-bfs house? Not suspicious…) Jen finds one of her MITTENS there! Well that's basically a smoking gun. She can't believe that she could do anything this terrible.

Trisha has come up with a theory as to why Jen is going sleep-crazy. She tells Jen about how when she put on the necklace, she felt how powerfully ANGRY Dominique Fear was. Trisha thinks that Dominique is controlling Jen because Jen is a Fear, and they are therefore connected. Well… I've heard worse theories in my Fear Street days. Jen does what any teenaged girl does when she needs to get rid/hide something. She puts the necklace in a sweatsock and puts it in her drawer! Out of sight=out of mind, right?

Jen is busy getting excited for her big New Years Eve party, now that she's sure the necklace can't do any more damage. Unfortunately, she still has to deal with Ty thinking she's crazy. He threatens her to keep away from him! Except…he shows up to her New Years Eve party. With his new girlfriend Greta. That just mean! Jen doesn't want to make a big deal, or ruin anyone's night, so she doesn't throw them out. Jen = bigger person than I am. In the long run though, she probably should have thrown them out. A few hours before midnight, Jen hears Trisha scream from upstairs and runs to find her staring at Greta. Correction: Greta's dead body. Her head had been smashed in with a heavy ceramic bowl, which I think is a first on Fear Street!

Since the party mood is kinda ruined at that point, everyone shuffles out the door while the police come. The ever-fantastic Shadyside police determined that the bowl just happened to fall off a high shelf, and Greta's death was an unfortunate accident. Ty has been waiting around for the police to leave, so he can yell at Jen about how the accident was all her fault. Hmm, seems appropriate? I'm not even really sure. Jen might have actually done it.

The next morning, Jen's parents are trying to make her feel better about the horrible death that happened there the night before. I can certainly tell you, my parents would not have been this cool if someone had DIED at my party. Jen finally confessed everything that's been going on, including the theory that she's possessed by Dominique Fear. Her dad awkwardly clears his throat and makes his own confession: they're not really Fears. It seems that when HIS dad moved to town, the Fears were a well respected family, so he just changed his name to it. Jen's dad cites "easy access to country clubs" as a legit reason for changing the family name. Allllllright. Jen is so relieved that she's not a Fear! But also furious at her father for not telling her and cursing her with a terrible name for her whole life.

Jen decides to take apart the necklace now that it has no emotional value to her. After she takes out the stone, she notices a hidden compartment. And it's full of HAIR. (Note: I love lockets. And I also love long hair. But the two together? DISGUSTING.) Jen also just happens to find a spell for casting out evil spirits, that includes throwing the HAIR of the person who is doing the possessing onto the possessee. Does that make sense? She needs to throw Dominique's hair on whoever Dominique possesses. Convenient.

While she's also looking through the Fear's books, she sees a picture of a house that looks familiar. It's a drawing of Trisha Conrad's house! When Jen investigates a little bit further, she finds that Dominique Fear married a one Henry Conrad before she was hanged! Jen rushes over to Trisha's house to warn her and also stop Dominique from killing anyone! Unfortunately, Trisha is out when Jen gets there. She's out with Ty Sullivan! Jen has a moment of "WTF SKANK" but then realizes that Trisha would never do that to her, and it's probably Dominique possessing her. Sure.

Jen does her best investigating skillz, and figures out that Ty probably took Trisha to his fave makeout place, the cemetery! Classy. Jen gets there just in time to see Ty's body on the ground, and Trisha poised over him with a pair of huge scissors. Really? Scissors? Why on earth would that be the weapon of choice in a cemetery? Trisha is obviously possessed by Dominique, and the two of them tussle for a while. Jen pulls out her jar of hair and Trisha/Dominique rightfully mocks her. Jen knows that she only has one shot to get her with the hair and takes a chance! Poof! O, I guess at some point Jen burnt all the hair into ash, because she throws ash on Trisha instead of just hair. Probably a good idea for projection. Anyways, it gets Trisha out of the daze. The girls hug, and take Ty home while he's still passed out cold.

We learn two things in the final chapter: Ty is guillible and Trisha is a BITCH. The next day, at Pete's Pizza, the girls run into Ty. Apparently the girls told Ty that he got SO drunk at the cemetery the night before, he passed out. He doesn't even remember buying/drinking the beer! Maybe he was mourning his GF that no one seems to remember who died TWO DAYS AGO. Jen goes to the bathroom and the rest of the book is from Trisha's POV. Trisha's known she's a Fear for a while, but she also knows that Jen won't tell her secret. Jen is too nice! So nice, she never suspected that Trisha had been dating Ty the whole time she was dating Ty too! BITCH. She thinks about being confused but also about the overwhelming rage that she felt. And the ease of which being Evil came to her. Well. That's it folks! Trisha is evil! That ends another Fear Street where no one important dies. It was pretty standard, and I think mostly filler to introduce the idea that Trisha is an evil Fear. Maybe she'll be the villain for the rest of the series? Let's hope so! I give The Gift 12 necklaces of HAIR out of 23. Just passing.A. M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-30093256376279301632010-03-14T13:02:00.000-06:002016-02-09T09:59:01.485-07:00Last Chance, or "Do Not Do What the Bad Man Says"

Last Chance is a book that highlights why I love/loathe Fear Street books. I spent most of my time reading this book screaming "What the f-!" at it, then settling down and shaking my head at it. Seriously.

The teaser is: Mr. Morley is so nice when he catches Mary O'Connor stealing a test. He doesn't tell. He doesn't fail her. She just has to do him a favor …

<o:p> </o:p>

…

<o:p> </o:p>

…

Don't do it Mary! Do not touch the bad man, just call the police, and everything will be okay.

Except that Fear Street is not an after-school special. The messages that come out of these books are both awful and awesome at the same time. Let's see how Mary deals with her little "predicament."

As you might remember, Mary O'Connor is the poor white trash girl who's father walked out on her family, and then her boyfriend, Gary Fresno, dumped her for rich Trisha Conrad. You think that Mary might deserve a break about now, but instead she gets busted for shoplifting. Now she has to see a counselor every week, and all of her teachers have been told about her incident, and discriminate against her because of it.

I'm sorry, does this seem a little unprofessional? Perhaps even … unethical. Are teachers allowed to gossip about student's sticky fingers, and openly judge her based on this. Considering the amount of teenage murderers in Shadyside, you think they'd let one incident of shoplifting slide.

Even Mary feels like she's a criminal and should be treated as such. Her friend Stacey tries to get her to lighten up, takes her out shopping so that she gets over this stigma. Mary immediately almost steals a shirt. But it's not because she's dumb, it's because she saw a cute boy! Okay, and because she is over the top stupid.

Mary has been spending a lot of time with Mr. Morley, her social studies teacher. He is just so understanding, and they talk about all kinds of things, not just school! Like, boys and stuff. Dear god, man, set some boundaries you pervert. Anyways, Mary is stressed about her upcoming social exam – she needs to pass it to stay on the track team, pretty much the only thing that she's good at in life.

Mr. Morley is so understanding that he tells Mary that the social exams are all in this brown envelope on top of the desk, then he leaves her alone in the classroom to go get coffee. Mary can't believe her luck! I can't believe she wouldn't think that she'd be set up. Morley comes back in, and Mary thinks he might have seen her, but he acts all friendly normal, so it must be okay. Now, maybe Mary does need to be treated for her property-taking issues, not only does she do it a lot, but she's really bad at it.

Mary believes she aces the social exam, but instead of that A, Morley asks to see her after class. Oops! He tells her he knows she stole the exam, but she's also under a lot of pressure, so he might be able to overlook it. If she does something for him …

It's not as bad as you think. He wants her to take another teacher's jacket, as he says it's his anyways. So, he's encouraging her thieving ways? Maybe he's just trying to help her get better at it. To no avail, though. The teacher who's jacket she's stealing, Mr. Wise, catches her red-handed, and throws her shoplifting experience into her face. He says first thing Monday morning, the principal will hear of this. Oh, no, not the principal! Mary should probably chill out more.

Instead, she goes to Morley's house on Fear Street over the weekend, sure that he'll help her out of her situation. At his house she sees the cute guy from the mall, Rob. He's helping Morley out with stuff around the house. He asks Mary out, then tries to warn her about Morley, when the man himself comes in. Morley is insanely mad at Rob, asking him to leave.

Then Morley turns to Mary, all concern and understanding again. Of course he'll discuss the situation with Mr. Wise, making everything okay for Mary, but he tells her he'll probably be fired for it. Mary is horrified. Morley also tells her that another teacher, Mrs. Wilson, is trying to get him fired. She's written a letter about him to the Board of Education, but he can't answer the charges if he doesn't know what they are. If only someone could break into her desk to get that letter … But no, he couldn't let Mary do that! He'll just figure something out for himself.

Mary goes out with Rob that weekend. They have a great time, until he tells them they're taking the "walking discount." They dine and dash, and Mary kind of goes along with it, although it upsets her. Mary is so very easily manipulated. Rob then tells her it was a joke, and gives her a soft, melting kiss.

Monday morning Mary goes to see Morley to make sure everything's been straightened up for her. Morley sighs and tells her she's okay, but he's screwed if he doesn't get that letter. Then he gives her some puppy dog eyes and tells her he could never ask her to steal that letter for him.

Mary, being unspeakably dumb, breaks into Mrs. Wilson's classroom and steals the letter for him. Whatever is written in those letters makes Morley hugely angry. He tells Mary there's more letters, probably hidden in Mrs. Wilson's house. Mary has to steal those letters too. When Mary balks, he tells her he'll sell her out for stealing the jacket, and cheating on her exam. Not so nice Morley any more. He uses the phrase: "Jail is an ugly place." How charming. Threaten an impressionable young girl with jail, I like it.

That night Mary goes to Mrs. Wilson's house, having been given her address and the time she would be at a conference from Morley. How thoughtful of him. Rob shows up to stop her, and when he can't, he goes in with her.

They find the letters, and Mary skims them. Essentially, Mrs. Wilson has proof that Morley murdered two of his students at his last job. And she's sitting on this information why?

Mrs. Wilson comes home early. As they dash out the second floor window, they split up. Rob tells Mary to meet him at a park, so she runs there and waits. But the only person who shows up is Morley. Rob was nabbed by the cops, and had called Morley to bail him out.

But Morley won't do that until Mary does something else for him. Mary didn't keep the letters, so he's pissed, and grabs her arm painfully. He tells her that Rob will stay in jail unless she comes to his office at lunch tomorrow. He also threatens to kill her like the other two students.

His new insane assignment for Mary involves his sister. His sister lives with her two children, but is always going on dates and leaving the youngsters alone. Morley wants to teach her a lesson by having Mary kidnap the kids, taking them to a house down the street until their mother comes home, freaking out. What a charming lesson!

Mary has heard enough. She goes to talk to her counselor, the one who can't get over that one time she shoplifted, and tells her everything. The counselor sympathetically tells Mary she's a terrible person for blaming her problems on Mr. Morley. Great support they have at Shadyside High, there. I guess since they usually deal with grief, loss and post traumatic stress, abducting children probably doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

So Mary goes to steal the children. She feels really bad, and the kids are cute, so it's just like she's babysitting them in a strange house. It's kinda all good until the seven year old boy tells her he doesn't have an uncle, and had never heard of this Morley character. That's when Mary hears the police sirens, and she cuts and runs.

She finally stops running, and who should appear but Rob, who starts kissing her. Apparently Morley made good on the bail, but that didn't endear him to Rob. Rob is sure that Morley is going to kill them, now that they know his "being a murderer" secret. So they'll have to kill him first!

Mary is skeptical about this killing idea, but Rob says there's no other way, they'll be under Morley's control forever if they don't. He gives her a vial of poison, odorless, tasteless and clear, that will kill him instantly if she gets just a few drops in his coffee. What a handy thing to be carrying around. Mary tells him she can't do it, but he won't hear any of it. He says he'll meet her in Morley's office tomorrow.

Morley calls Mary that night to threaten her, because she screwed up with the kidnapping kids thing. He tells her to meet him at his office at one tomorrow.

Poor little Mary. Whatever will she do?

The next morning she goes to track practice, something she's been sucking at since all her problems started. Today, though, she kills it, and is starting to think she just might be able to deal with everything. She goes to Morley's office, but earlier than he asks, because track was let out early. He's not there, but his coffee is sitting temptingly on his desk. She didn't bring the poison with her today. But then she sees Morley's notebook on the desk, and reads it. It documents everything that has been done to Mary, how he enjoyed manipulating her life. Mary figures that Morley has to pay.

She runs home and back as quickly as possible. Morley still isn't there. She empties the contents of the vial into his coffee, then goes to the girl's restroom to be sick. Then goes back to face Morley.

He is in the classroom this time. Mary hesitates at the door, praying that he'll drink the coffee. He does, downing the whole thing, then tells Mary that he's going to brew some more coffee while she thinks about what she owes him. Then he gets all sweaty and woozy, and collapses to the floor.

Mary takes his notebook and stashes it in her bag, then waits for Rob to arrive. He comes in, all smiles. He's all like – wasn't this wild? Morley told you everything, hey? Mary grimly smiles and tells him she knows everything. Rob comes over and finishes off the rest of Morley's coffee, which is, ew.

Rob explains that is was all a psychological experiment, to see how a student would respond under extreme pressure – whether they could get someone to kill someone else. It was all a part of Morley's research, and everyone was in on it except Mary.

So, there are so many what the fuck things wrong with this. Morley is a social studies teacher at a shitty high school, not working in a phD department. What the fuck kind of research is this. There is no end to the unethical and illegal behaviours that Morley and Rob engaged in with this "research." I mean, Rob is over 18, and fucking around with the subject. He should be in jail, or something.

Apparently, Mary agreed with me. Rob starts to sway on his feet, and he's like – wait, I didn't give you poison. It was water. Wtf? And Mary tells him she wasn't going to kill them, until she came to the class early and read about the experiment in Morley's notebook. And decided that both of them should die. So she ran home to grab some poison her mother keeps in the house. (Wtf, why does her mother have poison in the house?) She shows Rob Morley's body, and tells him goodbye as he collapses.

Stacy comes in to the classroom, as her and Mary are going shopping, and screams when she sees the two bodies. Mary's all smiles when she tells her that she just spiked their coffee with hard-core sleeping pills her mom uses. They'll wake up in a little bit, but they'll know not to fuck with her again.

Is that what we would call "street justice?" Not that I don't think the boys deserved a little death scare, but I still think they should be in jail. Kudos to Mary for growing a pair, and not letting people fuck her around any more. She should also go over to skeezy ex Gary while she's at him and kick him in the balls, just while she's on this roll. No kudos to R. L. for giving me one of these "comedic" Fear Streets where not only did no one die, but no one was even crazy, stalked, or thought they were a ghost. Better try next time. 14 crazy-ass-strong sleeping pills out of 25.
L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-51127370162216425872010-02-26T13:22:00.000-07:002016-02-09T09:59:19.340-07:00No Answer or "Teenaged Girls Are Terrible Planners"
Ahh I finally have time to blog! I read "Episode" Four of the Seniors last week actually, and then couldn't find the time to write all down til today! So bear with me if my memory is a little foggy.

So "Episode" Four (I refused to call it an "episode" without the mocking quotations. It's a book. It's Book Four. Get over yourself R.L.) finally gives us the big payoff we've been wanting. An effing MURDER! But who gets murdered? Let's find out…

Clarissa is our main character in this "episode" and R.L. is showing some personal growth because Clarissa is a black woman! Is this our first non-caucasian main character? I think so! This unfortunately doesn't mean she has any better luck than our other leading ladies. We find out that Clarissa just got out of an institution. She was in there because she couldn't deal with the fact that her sister, Justine, had died and Clarissa was the one that found her. (Fair enough, I probably wouldn't bounce back too quickly from L.K.'s death. SISTER LOVE) Justine had fallen down the stairs while talking on her CORDLESS phone and broke her neck. While Clarissa was in the institution, she became close to a boy from her high school, Will. Apparently he's super hot.

Clarissa goes back to school, and everyone is so excited to see her, yada yada yada. She has two best friends, Debra and Mira. We've already met Debra before, and we know that Mira isn't important because she doesn't even merit a yearbook picture. Mira is also the slutty one. You know how there's always one. We also find out that Clarissa's parents are adopting a little boy and he's arriving that weekend! That seems like … a replacement, hey? But Clarissa tries to be upbeat about Aaron coming, and goes to clean out her room for him, because she's taking over Justine's room.

While she's cleaning out Justine's room, Clarissa has a vision (hallucination? Encounter with a ghost?) of her sister, who points to a notebook left on her desk. There's nothing special in the notebook, except that on the day Justine died, she had an appointment to call a psychic named Renata. Debra and Mira come over to help Clarissa clean, and for some reason, Clarissa tells them about the ghost encounter! Bad idea. All I'm saying, is that on my first day out of an institution? Imma keep all my crazy visions to myself.

The girls believe Clarissa for some reason, (they are also crazy?) and decide to call Renata. As soon as someone answers though, they heard a small, ghosty voice that called Clarissa "Moongirl" which was Justine's private nickname for her. Voice from beyond the grave! Justine tells Clarissa that she was murdered, but disappears before she can name her killer. Renata comes onto the phone, saying that she was possessed by Justine and proves to Clarissa she's the real deal by telling her the boy she's had a secret crush on her whole life (hint: its Josh. Will is gonna be pissed!)

Clarissa decides to trust Will with her secret hallucinations too. He does two terrible things: he doesn't believe her for one, and then he tells her that Mira already told him! Apparently they email because they have computer class together. Telling your new girlfriend that her slutty friend emails you? That's a no. The girls call Renata again that night, and she gives them the upsetting news that one of them is going to die next! I'd stop calling this lady, she is just full of bad news!

Clarissa finds her sister's secret hiding spot that night. She finds a fake ID, a knife with the word SLASH on it, and her diary. Which of course she reads, because, hey, she's dead! What does she care about privacy? Apparently Justine had this secret life where she snuck out of the house and partied and dated this guy named Slash. Who gave her a knife with his name engraved on it. (Guess what L.K.'s getting for Christmas this year?!) Clarissa is pretty upset because she thought she knew Justine pretty well, but apparently Justine was thinking about running away, and totally ditching her. Harsh! Will breaks into her room, and they argue a little because Mira told Will about calling Renata again, and Will doesn't want her to go crazy again. Whatevs, Will, you just broke into her room.

Clarissa decides that the best plan to find her sister's murderer, (and her maybe soon-to-be murderer) is to use the fake ID and go to the club to find out who this Slash guy is. She assumes he killed Justine because Justine's diary discussed how mad Slash was when she wanted to see other people. So. I don't understand what Clarissa's plan was here. Step one: Find Slash, the man who murdered my sister. Step two: ? She doesn't find out who Slash is, but she does run into Will there. He's a musician (swoon!) and goes to the clubs all the time to check out places to play.

The next day, her new little brother Aaron arrives. He's 5 years old, and super cute. Clarissa shows him around his new house and they hang out in her room. He picks up the phone in her room (the one they've been calling Renata on) and is instantly possessed by Justine. She tells Clarissa to be careful because someone is going to get murdered! Clarissa immediately calls Debra to warn her. Debra has some of her own information, too. She just ran into Justine's high school boyfriend, who had something really important to say…. And then Debra gets pushed down the stairs. What?! Yup, Clarissa hears her argue with someone, then tumble down the stairs. She lives close by, so Clarissa books it over to Debs house, and finds her at the bottom of the stairs. Pretty suspicious for you, Clar, if you keep finding dead bodies at the bottom of the stairs.

First important murder of this series! Finally! Debra Lake who I think is dating that vampire guy is DEAD! Woot woot! Luckily for us, R.L. doesn't waste too much time on that whole boring process of "mourning" and "grieving". We get right back to the action, as Clarissa calls Justine's old boyfriend to find out what he told Debra. He's kind of uncomfortable because…it turns out that Slash is non-other than WILL! Ewwww, he dated the dead sister then moved on to the living!?

Clarissa puts two and two together and decides that Will is the murderer. Mira comes over to sleep with Clarissa because the two girls are convinced he's going to kill them. And Will doesn't help much, because that night, he decides to break into Clarissa's room again! (Justine's old room. No wonder he's so good at getting in there). Mira and Clarissa stop him before he gets into the room tho, and push him off the trellis he was climbing.

This whole incident lands Clarissa back in the institution. Oh, also the fact that the phone they've been calling Renata and Justine on hasn't been hooked up since Justine died. Soooo Clarissa's parents figure that she might have gone off the deep end again. Will calls her though, and forgives her. (Does she forgive him for being a huge pervy creep that is using her to get over his dead girlfriend? Who knows!) Will actually believes her know and has his own theory: He thinks the killer is Mira. Will confesses that Mira is actually really into him, which he's known about for a while. And was still emailing her? Nice. Way to lead both girls on. Clarissa thinks that's crazy talk! (Haha, puns)

But Mira comes to visit Clarissa that day. She's babysitting Aaron for Clarissa's parents and brought him to see her. Mira's bag falls open though, and Clarissa sees that Mira has stolen Justine's phone! Which is weird, but Mira said that she wanted to have it in case Justine tried to contact them again. Nice thing to say to the girl in the institution.

After Mira and Aaron leave though, Clarissa decides that she doesn't believe Mira and is worried about Aaron. She called Mira's house and finds out that Mira is taking Aaron to Fear Lake for a boat ride. Innocent, right? Except I kinda forgot to mention that Aaron is a disturbed kid because he saw both his parents drown in front of him and now he's deathly afraid of water, AND Mira knows it. (I guess that's kind of an important plot point). So instead of calling her parents and telling them Aaron's babysitter might be crazy, she breaks out of the institution. That'll look good!

She sees their boat out in the middle of Fear Lake, so Clarissa jumps right in! Haha my notes actually say "does a shit job of saving Aaron". Which is true! Mira tries to whack the shit out of her with the oars and confesses she killed Justine because she's in love with Will and killed Debra because she was going to figure it out. Well, that was easy! Clarissa starts her terrible rescue attempt by pulling Aaron into the water, then losing him, then she almost drowns herself and they both need to be rescued by some random stranger. Her parents, as well as her doctors, are waiting for her on the shore. Mira rows up and starts yelling about how Clarissa is sooo crazy and tried to kill Aaron. Clarissa is about to be hauled back to the institution, (but this time with padded cells) when Aaron pipes up and said it was all Mira. I don't know how Mira thought she would get away with just lying about the whole thing, and hoping Aaron would just go along with it. Another poor plan.

The book ends with Clarissa and Will dating (I still think it's gross) and Aaron happily replacing Justine in Clarissa's heart. Harsh. But I think this book was a success because we finally killed off one the main characters! A lot of stuff was left unexplained, and frankly, that's the way I like my R.L. books. Completely nonsensical. 57 telephones to heaven out of 74!A. M. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-48317883320647667202010-02-14T13:37:00.000-07:002016-02-09T10:01:15.154-07:00The Thirst, or "Extra Sexy Valentine's Vampire Goodness"

Can a vampire get enough? Enough what? Love? Blood? Reality TV? So many unanswered questions. Here's a special Valentine's Day treat – I tried to make it as sexy as possible.

Part 1

First day of school! Dana Palmer gets ready. To get you up to date, Dana is the slutty cheerleader twin, while Dierdre is her much less attractive identical twin because she likes to think. Dana is described almost exactly the way every Sweet Valley High book ever begins – gleaming blonde hair, sparkling eyes, slutty clothes. OMG guys, Dana is totally Jessica Wakefield! Dana harasses her dowdy twin, aka Elizabeth, for not being ready yet. Dierdre is spazzing because she wants to impress a guy, but refuses to say who.

Mickey Myers, Dana's summertime guy, comes to pick them up. Dana bitches about an early cheerleading practice, really because she hates head cheerleader Phoebe Yamura because she wanted to be head cheerleader. Is it just me, or is Phoebe the first Asian in Shadyside, ever?

Mickey and Dana make fun of Debra Lake for being with Clark Dickson (Count Clarkula), the vampire-esque guy who may or may not have fangs and powers of hypnosis (see Episode One).

Dana rushes to cheerleading practice, and finds … the body of Danielle Cortez. The first actual death in this potentially over-hyped Seniors series. Danielle isn't even in the yearbook at the front, which is kind of cheap.

Clark comes up behind a horrified Dana. He comments that Danielle is very pale … People are flashbacking to Trish's psychic vision.

There's a fender-bender in the parking lot. Gary and Trisha are clutching each other, and Mary, Gary's girlfriend, moans and cries when she sees them. That's an intense reaction. I'd dump his ass, but whatever. Dierdre goes to talk to the illicit couple, and apparently someone had cut his brakes. Things are finally starting to get interesting at Shadyside High.

A new guy comes up to Dierdre, and introduces himself as Jon Milano, of her study hall. He's a real babe, as Dierdre puts it. He says he prefers Shadyside High to where he was before, which is saying a lot. He asks her out, and gets all sexy, starts to play with the mole on her face. Dierdre is all giggly blushy. Aw, young love.

Dierdre is handing out with Jennifer Fear and Stacy Malcolm at The Corner. Jon comes in and asks Dierdre if she's going with anyone, then leaves with a Coke.

Mickey comes in and tells the girls that Danielle had all the blood drained from her body. Dierdre flashes to creepy, black-dressing Clark. And how Debra's been all pale and limp since dating him. Maybe he is actually a vampire? Or just really wants to be? I mean, vampires are HOT right now.

Dierdre goes over to Clark and Debra's table, but they're gone. On the table is an extra sexy poem:

So cold, So pale/You lie before me./Your blood has vanished/People say/How? Where? They ask/They don't ask me, but I could say/You blood gives life …

Ooh, Clark is so mysterious.

Part 2

Danielle's death is all over the news. It's being called "The Vampire Murder." Ooh, sexy. The police apparently questioned Clark for hours, and ruled him out as a suspect. He was just innocently creeping around the body.

Dierdre and Jen get over the murder and start talking about what really matters: boys. Jon hasn't asked Dierdre out yet, but brags about how awesome he is. He sounds like a guy. Dierdre confesses to being into her sis' guy, Mickey. And of being really jealous of Dana. Hmph. Elizabeth Wakefield would never admit to that kind of thing.

Stacy comes in and they start talking about the seniors' overnight trip to Fear Street Woods, and how they hope that will still happen. Cuz nothing will go wrong there! Dierdre gets a call, and someone is all whispery and stalkerish, tells her Danielle was delicious, and she was next. Clark? My money's on the new guy.

Everyone goes to Danielle's funeral, the third funeral in Shadyside ever. When Dana goes up to the coffin, she is horrified … by the Lindsay Lohan orange glow painted on her face. And then because Danielle gets up and starts talking to her, telling her she can't sleep. Crazy hallucination, but Dierdre heard her too. So, just crazy.

Dierdre decides a séance is the best bet. Ooh, sexy. She asks Jen if they could go back to her creepy library on Fear Street, because that would be the scariest thing they could possible do. Dana freaks, because she just wants a normal senior year. Josie calls up Dierdre, and tells her that she completed the Doom Spell last June (that everyone else forgot about), and is afraid that she unleashed something that night. Dierdre is just obsessed with reaching Danielle, and so they do it.

Jen, Dierdre, Trisha and Josie meet up in the creepy Fear occult library. They do some chanting, then an eerie voice calls to them – a spirit that cannot rest. The spirit tells them Trisha is the murderer, then laughs crazy. The girls figure out the spirit isn't Danielle. But – who was it? Maybe Trisha isn't just an innocent psychic boyfriend stealer. Whatever. The girls decide to forget the whole thing.

Part 3

The senior campout in Fear Street Woods. Mickey and Dana cuddle by the campfire. Dana notices Gary and Trisha making eyes at each other, even though he's hanging out with legit girlfriend Mary. Ooh, high school drama. Is anything sexier? Then, Dierdre catches fire.

Dierdre is pretty freaked out to be on fire. She smells her hair burning. Jon knocks her over and puts out her fire. Literally, I mean, not euphemistically. Even though her arm is all burnt, she wants to stay because Jon is cuddling her. Then the new red-headed girl, Anita, tells her it was her bad, she accidentally shoved Dierdre into the fire. Oops! Dierdre forgives her immediately, which I wouldn't be likely to do. But Jon goes to get her some hot chocolate, and she appears to be in some kind of love-haze. Twitterpated, as a certain owl would put it. Please tell me, does anyone get the Disney-Valentine reference?

Can I just stop here to say that these kids are on their senior campout, and they are drinking hot chocolate. Lame. Jon kisses Dierdre, and she thinks it was worth being set on fire.

They take a walk to a decrepit cabin. Ooh, sexy. Dana interrupts them, worried about her twin. Jon roughly tells Dierdre not to tell anyone about his secret place. How very Unabomber of you, Jon.

In her sleeping bag, Dana feels like she can't move, then feels a sharp sting at her neck. Her screams wake up the girls, then Clark opens her tent flap. Still being a creeper, then. Dana feels her neck and finds … a mosquito bite.

Next morning, Dana feels like crap and can't eat anything. She stays at the campsite while everyone else goes for a hike, but not before she realizes Dierdre wants Mickey. She is contemptuous of her sister being able to steal a guy from her.

Everyone gets back from the hike, except for Dierdre. As Dana starts to look for her, Clark stumbles out of the woods with blood smeared on his mouth. Except he was only running away from a skunk, and tripped.

Dana runs into the woods to find her sister. They find her, unconscious and deathly pale. She doesn't remember what happened, other than being stung by a bee on her neck. Only there are two red bumps on her neck. Hmmm….

Part 4

The home economics teacher at Shadyside High is feeling depressed because no one is really into her class. A student comes in looking for something to eat. The student grabs her, and fangs slide out of it's mouth. The student bites her neck and drinks her all up.

The school now has private guards. Stacy gets bossy and makes Dierdre try out for the basketball team. On her way there, Jon grabs her, freaking her out. Jon believes the killer is a real vampire. Dierdre is offended, then Jon kisses her and takes off. What an odd fellow.

At try outs, the new girl Anita is there. She tells Dierdre she used to go with Jon. Soon after, she winds Dierdre. She keeps on having these little "accidents." After taking Dierdre out again, Anita smiles.

Dierdre gets home after making the team. She finds in her bag a note: Your sister's blood was so sweet/Yours will be even sweeter.

She's hanging out with the girls, getting the gossip. Stacy thinks Anita is out to get Dierdre. They also discuss the morality of boyfriend stealing re: Trisha with Gary. Dierdre sticks up for Trisha and leaves in a huff, probs because she wants to steal her sister's boyfriend.

Jon drives up in a Porsche. Ooh, sexy. He asks her to the mall, and then drives her out to the middle of nowhere and tries to get with her. Ooh, sexy. She tells him to take her to the mall.

They go to the Burger Barn, where the entire senior class seems to be. Clark stops Dierdre and asks her if she got his note. But it was just a note congratulating her on her basketball tryouts.

Jon thinks Clark isn't scary, but a little sad, because he tries so hard to be different. That was actually really insightful. He then sees Anita and leaves to go to the men's room, and never comes back. Ouch, not sexy of him.

Dierdre starts to walk home, and something grabs her, bites her neck and starts lapping at her blood.

Part 5

From the vampire's perspective. It had just started to drink Dierdre, when her twin drives up. The vampire thinks that it must kill both twins. Then it eats a Spaniel.

Dierdre is having a hard time recovering from her attack. She reemed Jon out for leaving her, but he claimed he felt sick. He wants to get to know her better, so asks her to his Unabomber cabin.

The girls have a game. Anita and Stacy are both really aggressive, and Anita takes Stacy down. Stacy misses her chance to play in front of college recruiters. She vows to kill Anita, something that should never be done in Shadyside. Next day, Anita is found dead in the girls' shower room. She was drained of blood like the rest.

Jon runs over with the news – the police caught the vampire. They are bringing Clark in. Then Mickey runs over with more news – Anita's body has disappeared from the morgue. Dierdre tells Jon she can't go to his cabin. Then she goes to his cabin with Dana in tow. Sexy? Or just weird.

The cabin is empty. Except for a coffin. The coffin opens, and inside is … Anita! She's been after Dierdre, because she was stealing Jon away from her. Enter Jon. He tells Anita to get away from Dierdre and grabs a stake, ramming it into her chest. Anita turns into dust.

Jon comforts Dierdre, as he says it's all over, the death, the ugly phone calls. All of a sudden, Dierdre freaks and stakes Jon. Dana is all – you crazy? Until Jon turns into dust too. Dierdre had figured it out when Jon mentioned the phone calls, which she had never mentioned to him. So he must be a vampire. I'm just glad she was right, because that was a pretty tenuous fact to kill someone on.

So, guys, three books in and not one single senior has been crossed off yet. No fair if you kill secondary characters that don't even rate a photo in the yearbook. I feel cheated. For that, I give this 82 sexy vampires out of 147.

L. K. Stinehttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-35006055191967146322010-01-27T16:38:00.000-07:002016-02-09T10:01:31.958-07:00In Too Deep or "Sweet Homosexual Zombie Child Kisses!"
Ahhh, nothing like a good ol' Summer Camp book. Not usually R.L.'s style, but I like to think that he really added something to the Summer Camp genre. Namely…pedophilia. But we'll get to that.

Since the first Seniors book was about the end of their Junior year of school, I assume this book takes place in July? Or August. It doesn't say, and L.K. has the third book so I can't read ahead to check! Anyhoo, Kenny Klein is main character and he is working at Shadyside Day Camp! (Not even overnight camp? How can you get into shenanigans during the day?) His girlfriend and love of his life, Jade, has gone to California for a month to take an SAT review course. That's hardcore.

A lot of events happen in the first chapter. Jade leave, Kenny starts his first day of camp. Kenny's boss reminds him about how he has a "disturbed" child in his group, which he should know about since he read the child profiles … right? Kenny nods along enthusiastically while remembering how he totally did NOT read them. He just figures that he'll know who's disturbed and act accordingly. Also, Kenny makes an enemy! Another one of the counselors, Tyler, challenges Kenny to a game of tetherball. Kenny gets really into it and accidentally gives Tyler a nosebleed. Tyler immediately vows revenge and life-long anger. Hmm. No over reaction there… He also meets the girl of his dreams. Wait. Didn't Jade leave like an HOUR ago? Kenny chats up this new girl, Melly, by the lake. She's another counselor and she totally hits on him. Kenny is suddenly excited about summer. But he really needs to focus because Melly distracts him while he's helping Tyler… and he accidentally crushes Tylers hand! Whoops! Wayyy to make friends.

Kenny meets his cute kids – a bunch of 9 year olds. He has all the stereotypical children: Simon is the pushover, Graydon is the bully (I think its because he's described as a chubby Ginger) etc. The last kid is a little different however. Vincent, is a small shy boy. Who wears a balaclava at all times. Guess we know who the disturbed child is!

After a non-eventful day with the kiddos, Kenny is out on the town with his friends, including Dana and Debra who both work at the camp with him. They decide to … head back to the camp to go swimming! Really? On their time off? Kenny is stoked though, because Melly is there, swimming by herself. That's…also weird. Kenny wastes no time and sneaks off with her to make out. Jade left this morning, dude! Melly dares him to jump off the cliff with her. Kenny thinks this is the coolest thing ever, and they jump off together. Only, Kenny can't find her when he surfaces. His friends rush over, and tell him that no one else jumped off the cliff with him. Kenny leaves with them, and stays up late into the night, wondering if Melly drowned after jumping off the cliff. WTF? He thought she may have drowned but he left her anyways??

Kenny looks for Melly as soon as he gets to work the next morning. She's late for her shift at the art and crafts cabin, but while he goes to look for her, Vincent has an attention-spaz, and dumps red paint everywhere, pretending to be bleeding.

Kenny finds Melly and she's okay. She says she was just embarrassed that Kenny jumped and when his friends came, she just left. Okay. That's a weird thing to do. They make plans to meet up at the end of the day, but Dana catches on to Kenny's plan. She threatens to tell Jade about Melly if Kenny won't. Kenny thinks to himself "I should tell Melly about Jade. But what if she doesn't want to see me after that?" Hmm. Good point.

Melly and Kenny go for a romantic walk on the camp grounds (again?) and end up exploring a cave. While they're doing a little big of making out (maybe some light boob groping?) Graydon (the Ginger bully) comes in and catches them. He missed the bus so Kenny and Melly reschedule their illicit make out session. Kenny runs into Tyler on his way out and Tyler warns him about Melly. Which is weird, because earlier that day, Melly warned Kenny about Tyler. Hmmm. Seems like there is some old animosity between these two? Old lovers perhaps?

The next night is the first of a few overnighters at camp. In good ol' camp fashion, Kenny tells his campers a scary story, then goes to make out with Melly. (I ALWAYS pretended camp counselors/drama theater teacher/anyone older than me, had the secret and passionate love affairs when I was kid) When Kenny gets back to the campfire though, he discovers a (poisonous, of course) snake! He manages to wrangle it into an empty cage in the art room, with plans to release it the next day. Who the hell knows how the wrangle poisonous snakes?

Our disturbed friend Vincent decides to up his "creep" factor by pulling out some Tarot cards and offering to read them. When Kenny's turn comes around, he predictably pulls three black skulls – meaning "instant death". I'll admit, I would hold my breath for a minute or two after getting those cards. Kenny does not in fact die immediately…but does something that will bring about trouble.

He takes Melly into the wood after the kids go to sleep and dumps her! Well he starts off by telling her that he has a girlfriend, and when Melly is all "So what?" (Ice cooold!) he breaks it off. She doesn't believe him however. She says she'll change his mind, which is…pretty ballsy! When Kenny climbs into bed after that weird encounter, he gets another uncomfortable surprise. The poisonous snake is in his bed! After going to put it back in the art and craft cage, he finds the three skull cards are on his pillow. Ohhh Vincent. When did you learn how to wrangle snakes?! Is this something they teach in summer camp?

Kenny's morning doesn't go much better. He tells Vincent that his "prank" was dangerous and gets the "I know. You could be dead" response from him. CREEPY. Later, when he's relaxing down at the beach, Melly comes by to act crazy. Kenny is serious in his dumping and refuses to be charmed by her feminine wiles. Which prompts Melly to start STRATCHING her face and screaming that she'll die if he doesn't care for her. OKAYYYY.

For some reason, Kenny feels bad later in the day for being responsible for Melly's lil freak out. Fair enough. So he decides to go and see her at her house. Ummm. No. Do not lead this crazy girl on anymore! I think this is the best part of the book: when Kenny knocks on the door and asks for Melly, he gets the "How could you ask for that? Melly's been dead for 10 years!"

How many Fear Street books did that happen in!? Right off the bat, I remember this happened in Blind Date and The Dead Lifeguard. I want to know how many times this happens in real life.

Kenny tries to not stress about it too much. He gets bigger things on his plate the next morning too, when he gets SHOT THROUGH THE SHOULDER WITH AN ARROW. Omygoodness! Melly or Vincent? He's totally fine though, and I actually forgot about this incident until I re-read it just now. That seems like it should be a bigger deal though. He doesn't even go to the hospital.

The next night is another camp sleepover, and while Vincent acts creepy again – pulling three more skulls for Kenny, nothing major happens. The next day however… boy is this a doozy!

All the campers are going for a river canoe ride. Kenny quickly jump into a canoe with two faceless campers so he doesn't have to spend the day with Vincent the creepy or Graydon the bully. This plan doesn't work out as perfectly as he hopes however, since his canoe is soon tipped over by a renegade speedboat. Driven by none other than: VINCENT in his creepy balaclava! Vincent barrels down over Kenny a few times in a vain effort to kill him. Since he's not a good driver, the boat slows down, giving Kenny time to climb aboard (a moving speedboat? Really?) Vincent doesn't notice, and Kenny takes control of the boat AND rips off Vincents balaclava. Except: it wasn't Vincent at all! It was Graydon!

Graydon confesses that he was jealous of all the attention Vincent got from Kenny (although Kenny was actively avoiding him) so he decided to kill Kenny. That's a leap. Once Kenny gets Graydon to shore, the head camp counselor is all "Well, I guess that's why he's disturbed!" Say wha!? Apparently Graydon was the kid Kenny was supposed to look out for, not Vincent. Kenny just assumed Vincent was disturbed because he wore a mask, but really, he's just a sad boy that was horrifically injured in an accident. Nice going, Kenny.

O but the fun isn't over yet! Kenny heads back down to the beach to go catch up with the rest of the group. (I don't know what happened to the other kids in Kenny's boat. I assumed they died) While he's drying off, Kenny sees a body floating face down in the river. It's Melly! He takes one of the camps other speedboats and pulls her out of the river. How does she repay him? By wrapping her cold lifeless fingers around his neck!

Yes, Melly is ALSO trying to kill Kenny. Apparently she died the summer when Kenny and her were both campers (aged 9) at Shadyside Camp. She had a desperate crush on him. But it wasn't Kenny's fault that she died, it was some counselors that made her go canoeing when she didn't to. Melly is super mad that Kenny both didn't recognize her AND rejected her. To be fair to non-crazy Kenny, she admits she stole this body from a cemetery, so it might not look anything like her! She throws him over board and attempts to drown him. Thankfully, grumpy Tyler (the one with the broken hand) comes and rescues Kenny. But tell him: there was no one else in the water with him! Well DUH, she's a ghost/zombie (!).

STILL NOT DONE. Ty leaves Kenny on the shore to dry off while he runs to get help. His drying off gets disturbed by nonother than: VINCENT! Third person who wants to kill Kenny! Vincent attempts to drag Kenny into the water and during the ensuing fight, Kenny rips off his balaclava. Apparently, Vincent was a disgusting rotting corpse the whole time! AND it's actually the spirit of Melly INSIDE this little boy's corpse. W.T.F.

Yes, Melly/Vincent the child-corpse attempt to seduce Kenny and even go so far as to KISS him. Dear lord, what has happened to the world? Even though R.L. describes the zombie as "Melly", she never switched bodies. The body that kissed Kenny is still that of a little boy's. REALLY, R.L.? Kenny finally puts an end to this mess by throwing the small childs body into the running motor of the speed boat, raining shreds of decaying flesh all over the riverbank. FAN-tastic.

Really, the climax of this book had to be the homo-erotic, child kiss. Like, shit is getting WEIRD in these Seniors books. I love it! One complaint though: again, no one died! How could THREE (well 2.5) separate characters want to kill Kenny and no one follow though? Disappointment! I give this Senior's book: 45 moldy balaclavas out of 56. Not too shabby!A. M. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-6047632800446883420.post-41877486044082281022010-01-10T09:04:00.000-07:002016-02-09T10:01:51.320-07:00Seniors, Episode One: Let's Party!, or "Marla Newman is a Bitch"

Hey Fear Street fans! I am saddened to tell you that A. M. and I are down to our very last Fear Street series – Seniors. We will be blogging these over the next few weeks, and then we will be done. I know - it's hard to believe we've come this far.

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I have never read the Seniors series, but I always loved the concept of them. Following one class of cursed Shadyside High seniors through the year as they try to survive their graduation. Each book has a Yearbook at the beginning, with all the students favorite memories and quotes having stuff to do with their experiences in the books. Cute, right? Every time a student dies, they are blacked out with a big REST IN PEACE over their picture for the rest of the series.

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Part 1

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It's the last day of junior year. Josh, who behaves for the most part like a total douche, runs out of class to meet his girlfriend, Debra, at the tennis courts. She's found acting suspiciously like she's making out with some other guy, Clark, but apparently she only had something in her eye. I'm sure …

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Trisha Conrad walks towards them, when all of a sudden she stops, a look of horror on her face, and collapses. Trish is nice for the rich girl that she is, but she believes she can see the future in psychic visions. She has just seen the entire Shadyside class lying rotting in their coffins, killed off one by one. The senior class is doomed! Trish wants to cancel her major summertime fun party because of this. She had seen a few days ago a girl dead at her party, and doesn't want it to actually happen. Josh and Debra convince her she has to have it.

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Josh drops Debra off at home, then goes to his friend Mickey's house. Matty is there as well – he's the nerdy kid desperate to be popular, always hanging around and annoying them. Josh is in a bad mood, not happy with seeing Debra with Clark. Clark is kinda a weird kid, intense and pale. Everyone calls him Count Clarkula (like a vampire, get it?) And Debra's lately been pale and listless, so clearly Clark is actually a vampire. Mickey gets all intense as Josh tells him this, asking if Josh believes in vampires, then bites his neck. Mickey thinks this is hilarious. I think it was kind of homoerotic.

John gets out of there. The guys laugh, saying he was scared, but he was probs just weirded out his best friend came on to him. He gets home, and gets a random call: Debra is mine. If you try to stop me, I'll drain you.

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Part 2

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Josie, Josh's stepsister, is freaking out because she was given a D in trig. She's storming back to the school to give her teacher a piece of her mind. Josie is big into black – it kinda seems like she's a classic goth girl straight out of the late 90s.

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She gets to Mr. Torkelson's classroom and asks him to reconsider her mark because she had the flu the day of her finals. He tells her Marla Newman had the flu too, and she ended up with a perfect score. Josie loses it and runs out. Her parents won't let her buy a car unless she's on the honour roll, so she's pretty upset about the whole thing.

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Josie meets up with two friends – Dierdre, who is the twin of the most popular girl in school and nowhere near as popular as her, and Jennifer FEAR. Yes! Finally a Fear living openly in Shadyside, this should be great. This little group of goths and misfits sound like they are kinda the geeky girls in school. Jen hates all the stories about the Fear family, saying she is nothing like that. But she seems to be Simon and Angelica's granddaughter, and knowing them I wouldn't want to spend lots of time with her either. She lives in a mansion near the old Fear mansion, which I think is another strike against her. Why would you live on a street names after your crazy murderous family?

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The house is gloomy and old. It has its own chapel, which is super creepy, and a decrepit ballroom. The girls talk about having their prom there. I'm sure that will go well. The girls stumble into an old library filled with books on witchcraft and the dark arts. Yah right your not evil, JEN. Jen remains outside, pretending she has nothing to do with her family's evil reputation.

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Josie the goth is in heaven, finds a spell book called, ever so originally, The Spell Book. She opens it to find The Doom Spell, which curses people. They decide to try it on Mr. Torkelson. They light some candles and do some chanting, but are interrupted by Jen's mom. The other girls leave, but Josie goes back to finish the spell, cursing both Mr. Torkelson and Marla Newton, that bitch. She hallucinates a cloaked skeleton who attacks her. Hmm, that's probably not good.

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Part 3

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Josie catches a ride with Josh and Mickey to the mall – she needs a job since Marla Newman, that bitch, stole hers from her. Everyone's at the mall. Marla comes up to Josie and is a megabitch to her, before prancing off. Josh and Mickey stumble onto … Debra and Clark, shopping together. Josh confronts them and Debra says she's drawn to him. Josh isn't okay with that, and I don't really blame him. They have a big fight in the music store.

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Josh drives home and gets another weird vampire call. This time the caller says he's coming – and the doorbell rings. It's Clark …

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Part 4

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… returning a sleeping bag. Lame, R. L.

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Josie goes to school early next morning to help a friend with something. Mr. Torkelson is driving by her when he gets into a horrific accident, right in front of her, and is killed. Josie thinks she's a murderer.

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Josh is stood up by Debra. He goes to Clark's house, just to see, and finds them making out inside. Josh is convinced Clark is a vampire controlling Debra's mind. He breaks into Clark's house later with Matty and Mickey, I'm assuming this is after Debra has left. In Clark's room they find a black cape, books on vampires, and dirt in his bed. Ooh, kinky.

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To the boys this is irrefutable proof of vampirism. Debra calls Josh that night, telling him she saw him spying on her and it wasn't cool. Josh tries to tell her that cheating on him with a vampire isn't cool. Debra tells him he's an idiot and that it's over.

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Meanwhile Josie is having her own meltdown. She goes for an interview for a law office job. Yah, right, a law firm's gonna want a high school student around, let alone a goth high school student. She hallucinates the cloaked skeleton again and runs away.

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Part 5

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The night of Trish's party. Josh pulls up to her mansion and wanders out to her sweet backyard. He sees Mickey fighting with a red-haired girl. Trish is dancing with Gary Fresno, who you to go with Mary O'Connor, but I guess Mary didn't get an invite to this party.

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The red-haired girl comes over to Josh, introduces herself as Saralynn from Waynesbridge. She's really pretty and Josh decides to use her to make Debra jealous. He goes to get her a beer. GASP! Underage drinking!!!

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It starts to rain so everyone goes inside. Trisha announces they are going to play a murder game. Um, if you suspect someone is ACTUALLY going to be murdered at your party, isn't it a little tacky to warm up by playing at murder first?

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They all choose cards – suspects, victim, investigators. Marla is the victim. They have to make up a story about why she was killed, and the investigators guess. Mickey wanders in from outside, covered in blood. He claims he fell down.

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Next thing you know, Marla Newman, that bitch, is actually dead. No one knows what happened – they left her in the dining room, and then she was dead. Josie tells everyone she killed her with the Doom Spell. Everyone thinks Josie is nuts.

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They go to call the police, but the lines are dead. And nobody has their cell phone with them, how convenient. There is a mass stampede to leave out in the rain, but somebody's locked the walled estate. They all herd back to find Marla's body is gone. Mickey is the only person that is dry, so they assume he moved the body. A blood smear is found on a closet door, and inside is the body of Saralynn. Her throat had been slashed. This party is a little crazy for me. Mickey admits to killing them both because he's out of control, and grabs Josie. Josh attacks him and they wrestle. Mickey leans in to … kiss him again. Mickey is totally in love with Josh, fyi. No, he actually only laughs in his face, but once again my gaydar is totally pinging about this guy. Anyways, Marla appears and Saralynn get up. It was all a joke, planned by Trisha.

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She had had that vision – she just wanted to act it out first so maybe it wouldn't come true. Just then Clark floats down the stairs dressed up as a vampire, with gleaming curled fangs. That had been a joke on Josh too – Clark was in on it. Josie is being made fun of for casting a spell on Marla and locks herself in the bathroom. It's not a good night for these stepsiblings.

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Josie comes out of the bathroom. The cloaked skeleton comes to the party and rips everyone apart. Bummer. Josie heads over to the Fear house to find a spell to make it better. She casts a spell to make it an hour earlier. She is pulled back to the bathroom at Trisha's. So, she went back in time to save everyone, and this time the skeleton doesn't come in to the party. Josie is either a mega-witch, or mega-unbalanced. All is well and good.

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Josh finds some fake vampire teeth, that Clark used to dress up with. Only – the package was unopened. Those fangs were Clark's real teeth! This isn't over …

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Okay, after reading several of R. L.'s less than stellar adult novels, I was SO happy to come back and read a Fear Street. These things are like candy, only awesomer. I love the concept that this will continue on throughout the year. I did not love the fact that no one actually died, it was all just elaborate set-ups or mentally unbalanced goths. Still, I had a lot of fun with this one, can't wait to read the rest! 18 mysteriously unopened vampire teeth out of 20.
L. K. Stinehttp://firstname.lastname@example.com