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Along with the supernatural and paranormal occurrences, it seems that the radar seems to be a little sketchy as well. Considering some people who worked on certain shows and other animated works also worked on Gravity Falls, this isn't that surprising. Please exercise good judgment in editing this entry! Gravity Falls has a darker, more violent tone than most shows on Disney Channel/XD, and is rife with Black Comedy. Please only add something to this page if even given the nature of this show it's questionable. Guns, blood, death, Black Comedy, gods, and demons don't really count as Getting Crap Past the Radar within the context of Gravity Falls. What crosses the line on any other animated show usually doesn't here, so please keep that in mind when editing!
- There's a recurring joke in the series involving woodpeckers. Apparently, it's legal to marry them in Gravity Falls, and at least two people have taken advantage of this freedom. Keep in mind that animals in the show aren't sentient or anthropomorphic in the slightest.
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Season 1
"Tourist Trapped"
- One of the things that makes Dipper think Norman is a zombie is that he has something red on his face. He unconvincingly insists it's jam and it turns out he's a stack of gnomes, not a zombie, but we never find out for sure.note
- The gnomes' plan is for Mabel to marry all of them. She's just twelve, and it's mentioned that there's at least a thousand of them. You do the math.
- "Watch those fingers, Mike."
- When Stan is getting the milk out of the fridge, the cow on the carton seems very ... enthusiastic about giving milk.◊
- "Who wants to put on some blindfolds and get into my car?!"
Dipper and Mabel: YAY!
Dipper: Wait, what?
- Stan tries to befriend a little boy, but the kid and his parents find this incredibly creepy and threaten to call the cops. Stan is eventually arrested and forced to a wear an ankle bracelet, and it's not hard to understand why.
- And then this amazing line:
"I thought you kids were playing Spin the Bottle with Soos!"
- After Dipper asks her to imagine what she could do with five hundred dollars, Mabel has an Imagine Spot in which she buys a human-sized hamster ball. She then fantasizes about rolling up next to two boys in their car and hitting on them, saying "You can look, but you can't touch!" before rolling away.
- Soos' distraction with taking pictures of beavers might be a pun on the phrase "beaver shots."
- The entire Skull Fracture scene:
- "We don't serve miners here."
- Dipper and Mabel stare at someone on the floor. She assures herself and her brother that "He's resting.", but the audience can only see his feet, which are completely motionless. (Mabel seems to have her own internal radar.)
- A blink-and-you'll-miss-it one: One of the men has a cat tattooed on his palm◊, and is smacking it with his other fist. He's pounding pussy.
- Mabel on her wax sculpture: "It is covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids."
- "I'm Sherlock Bleedin' Holmes!" Also serves as Parenthetical Swearing with how Wax Sherlock accentuates.
- Groucho Marx's wax figure not having a cigar is only slightly undermined by Groucho feeling the need to remark on this as he dies.
Why is there nothing in my hand?
- This gem:
Mabel: (to the disembodied head of Wax William Shakespeare) You know any limericks?
Wax William Shakespeare: Uhh...there once was a dude from Kentucky-
Mabel: Nope! (throws head into fire)
- When Gideon's father offers Stan Colombian coffee, Stan replies that he once got arrested there. Make of that what you will.
- Dipper wants to prove his manliness on one of those grip-strength measuring machines.
Dipper: I'm gonna win some [pancakes] by beating that manliness tester.
Grunkle: Manliness tester?
Mabel: Beating?
Dipper: Time to man-handle this... man-handle.Dipper: So maybe I don't have muscles, or hair in certain places!
- One of the Manotaurs is named Pubeator.
- After Mabel gets her Eureka moment on how to get Grunkle Stan and Lazy Susan together...
Mabel: Grunkle Stan, come with me to the diner! And leave your pants at home!
Stan: With pleasure!
- One of the manotaurs said he has "fists for nipples" and then we get a close-up. This was edited out of the episode's re-runs for a while, but they eventually put it back. Nipple-fists for all!
- There's a rather dark moment when the old Manotaur is eaten. And unlike the Summerween episode he doesn't come back, so he's probably dead.
- When Dipper is getting ready to fight the Multibear, he has a tattoo of a flaming cobra on his stomach... right above his loincloth.
- Also, note that it's pretty evident he's wearing nothing under said loincloth.
- Instead of genitals, the Multibear's crotches have bear heads. note
- Dipper scraps a name he chose for his first clone, which is later named "Tyrone".
Dipper: I shall call you "Number 2"!
Tyrone: Definitely not...
- This◊ very clever sex joke.
- As the horribly deformed Paper Jam Dipper melts, he comments that he's better off dead than alive.
- The eighth and a half President of the United States makes Mabel a Congressman. Mabel's response?
Mabel: I'm legalizing everything!
- While looking through the secret documents, Mabel finds a page revealing that Benjamin Franklin was secretly a cross-dressing woman.note
- Mabel and Dipper get their hands on a time machine. When discussing what points in time to go to, Mabel has this suggestion:
Mabel: We should get two dodos and force them to make out!
- Robbie wants to show Wendy his new tight pants. And then he thrusts. At the end of the episode, hot water is spilled on them, making them shrink and get even tighter.
- One of the carnival attractions that Robbie and Wendy ride after he asks her out is the Tunnel of Love and Corndogs. Complete with the latter entering into a pink tunnel.
- When Dipper and Mabel wind up in pioneer days, they are mistaken to be more children given birth to by a pregnant woman surrounded by a bunch of kids. Her name? Fertillia.
- I've been twamatized!
- When Mabel is showing the scrapbook pictures where she and Dipper dress in twin-themed costumes, the first two are adorable combinations while the last picture shows the two dressed as zombies with Dipper "eating" a cord of Mabel's intestine with red fake blood in the background. It's only there for a second, which is probably how they got it on air in the first place.
- On a poster for Tambry's party, there is a warning that says nothing better end up online. What exactly do the kids do at these parties...?
- The poster also originally said "Bottles will be spun", but Standards and Practice disagreed with a Spin the Bottle reference (despite 'Spin the Bottle' actually being said out loud in an earlier episode), so it was replaced with "Not S&P approved".
- After The Trickster swallows Soos whole, Soos bursts out its chest in an obvious Alien shout-out, then kills The Trickster eating its heart. The Trickster turns out to be made of candy, but still...
I ate a man alive tonight.
- Stan has a photo of a horse "riding" another horse. Arrows pointing to it say "so wrong!" and "It's unnatural". The picture itself is fairly suggestive as well.
- As Dipper is pretending to be a wolf boy for a Mystery Shack exhibit, Stan tells the tourists that "If you throw money at him, he dances!" The costume he's wearing even leaves his upper body totally exposed, making it vaguely resembles a Chippendale outfit.
- In one point, Stan wins the Cash Shower on a game show he is on. Let's just say he takes "shower" a little bit too seriously and leave it at that.
Cash Wheel Host: Uh, Mr. Pines, you don't need to take your clothes off—go to commercial! GO TO COMMERCIAL! (runs up to the camera and covers it just as Stan takes his undies off).
- At one point, Soos tries to talk to a woman while dressed as "Questiony the Question Mark". Said costume makes him wear nothing but his underwear, and the woman reacts by freaking out and pepper spraying him.
- At the beginning of Dipper's story, Mabel, Wendy and Soos use Waddles in a "Spin the Bottle" game. When Waddles points at Grunkle Stan, Mabel asks him if he has ever kissed a pig. His response? "I'm not gonna answer that question." Make of that what you will.
- Mabel replaces Grunkle Stan's regular dentures with Truth Telling Teeth, forcing upon the wearer the inability to lie:
Dipper: Stan, what do you do in secret every day during your lunch break?
Stan: Usually, I spend the hour aggressively scratching myself in places I shouldn't mention.
- Stan's speech about life might be one of the darkest things ever to grace the Disney Channel. It's also fantastically funny.
Sometimes I think: is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punchline? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet release of death?
- Wendy boasts about her assistant lifeguard position, claiming she has "the best seat in the house" (emphasis added). Dipper loudly replies "Yeah, you do!"
- The poolcheck has quite a package, which is fairly pronounced in some shots, for example when he's doing the push-ups.
- Mermando was saved from dehydration by deer licking him, then tells them to "Continue licking!"
- Mabel takes a photo of Dipper giving Mermando "reverse CPR". She does it for the blackmail value, which isn't much better...
- One scene of Blubs and Durland has them rubbing suntan lotion on each other and Blubs utters the line "With you, every day is a dream" as he places his hand tenderly on the deputy's shoulder .
- This exchange:
Dipper: Mabel, I don't have time for your games. If you don't give me those supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!Mabel: (sighs) I understand. Hey, look! Wendy in a bikini!Dipper: (whirls around) Really? At night?
- After the first sleepover, the girls seemingly can't remember what they did: Mabel wakes up with "Party Gurl" written on her forehead, Candy is duct taped to the ceiling, and Grenda comes out of a small closet, covered with kiss-shaped lipstick marks, and says:
Grenda: I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!
- When Mabel makes an omelette that looks like Stan's face, his eyes and nose look like, er... something else.
- Soos, after being burned multiple times, says the last one started to feel good.
- Grenda brings her mom's "age-inappropriate romance novels" to the sleepover, one of which is called Wolfman Bare Chest. The beginning read onscreen seem only mildly suggestive, but it's shown she read the entire thing in one sitting, forcing Dipper in Mabel's body to listen.
- Stan finds Mabel (in Dipper's body) trying to look in on the girl's slumber party. Stan tells him "Oh, you're at that creepy age where you spy on girls, huh?" and decides to tell him about "the birds and the bees. " He uses a book called Why am I So Sweaty?: Your Body Explained in Horrifyingly Uncomfortable Detail.
Stan: It all begins with this little fella, the pituitary gland. He may be little but he has big plans!
(Later, Stan closes the book on a diagram of fetus in-uteri)
Stan: And now you know where babies come from!
(Mabel as) Dipper: Goodbye, childhood.
- Old Man McGucket, after switching bodies with Candy, starts dancing around and saying "I regained my innocence!"
- Robbie asks Wendy to join him and a couple other people at Lookout Point. To Robbie's "surprise", they ended up alone, in a van, up there.
- Grenda makes out with a picture of one of the band members, calling it "Grenda Time".
- When Dipper slows down the record of Robbie's song, he puts the speed to 16.5, which is an internet term for an... intimate scene, derived from a meme about Sword Art Online.
- After telling Dipper an anecdote from the '70s, Stan notes that his flashback got a little "hallucination-y" at the end. Stan also seemed rather fixated on his ex-girlfriend's hot pants.
- The Stinger ends with one of the members of Sev'ral Timez passionately making out with a tree.note
Dang, girl.
- Blubs and Durland should have their own folder by now.
Durland: "Dangit, I almost got the treasure!"
Blubs:*puts hand on Durland's shoulder* "The time we spend together is treasure enough."
(Cue shared blissful grin)
- In The Stinger, McGucket says he escaped the baby pterodactyl swallowing him whole by eating his way out—from the inside.
- Not only do we see Jeff the gnome bathing in squirrels with a bottle of lotion next to him, but after tossing Mabel and Dipper out of the shack he calls more over to jump in his pants. Whoever was trying to censor this show apparently gave up by now.
- Mabel finds "miscellaneous fluids" under the seat during a game of "bus seat treasure hunt".
"Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained"
- Dipper tried to spy on Stan in the shower to see his tattoo.
- After Dipper discovered that tiny alien-like creatures were actually controlling the left-sided man, they all committed suicide. Right there on the screen.
- Even worse, one tries to get out of it, saying "I can't do this man, I have a family!". Then we watch as he reluctantly takes the suicide pill after his boss reminds him "You took the oath!"
- When the camera pans down the Lefty-bot has a nut roughly where you would expect one to be on a human male.
- Soos asks the all knowing mail-box what his dream woman would be. It spits out a picture of a body builder babe and when Soos sees it he says "Whoa, hot tamales! Save that one for the archives!" as he tucks it into his shirt.
- In the "Mabel's Guide To Fashion" short, Old Man McGuckett can be spitting something, possibly tobacco, into a bucket.
- "Mabel's Guide To Miliking Things" oh GOD. Is not that bad when she's milking a cow, this show wouldn't have problems in showing a cow teats, but then she gets to milk a dog, and then a friggin racoon.
- In "Mabel's Guide To Color" Grenda states that when she drinks expired milk she can see rainbows. Beyond the G-Rated Drug this is actually pretty dangerous besides that is clear that she has done it before.
- "Duct tape, wood glue, hey you!"
- The God-awful peer presure PSA from Blubs and Durland has Durland crossdressing as stereotypical punk-eurotrash girl.
Season 2
- The zombies are fairly visceral, some displaying open wounds with brains or entrails visible. They quite visibly bleed, too, but it's green blood so it's "alright." They take injuries including heads smashed open with bats and brass knuckles, karaoke blowing their heads explode, and one zombie tears his own ears off.
- When Dipper is investigating Stan's room he finds Stan's Porn Stash. Although it does include titles like "Fully Clothed Woman Magazine."
Dipper: Eww... Pretending I never saw that.
- A cryptogram on the pages for the "leprechorn" translates to "Kill me please".
- When Mabel welcomes Blubs and Durland to the party, she slaps Durland on the butt.
- Wendy uses the UV lights on her mouth.
Wendy: It's like a crime scene in my mouth.
- Dipper is over at Wendy's house watching a cheesy movie and lays down on her bed, leading to this bit of awkward:
Wendy: Dude, you're laying on my bra.
Dipper: ... AHHH!
- Just before this, Dipper had asked Wendy if she's been seeing anyone else since breaking up with Robbie; she indicates a visibly worn-out walrus plush doll as her "new boyfriend".
- This exchange made shortly after Dipper, Mabel, Soos, and Wendy enter the bunker:
Soos: This room is way creepy.
Mabel: Not as creepy as Dipper's Internet history!
- Made even worse when a Reddit AMA from Bill Cipher said the history contained "A LOT OF PICTURES OF REDHEADS!".
- When Dipper and Wendy get trapped in the main laboratory, the decontamination protocol activates and washes them and knocks them into each other, which causes Dipper's face to land right in the middle of Wendy's chest. Afterwards, Dipper's eyes dart down to Wendy's chest for a split second. In the original storyboard◊, it was a full-on Funbag Airbag. Amazingly enough, one promo for Disney Channel International even put this shot in slow motion.
- Robbie spray-paints "wieners" on the wall of a castle, then makes "lewd hand gestures" at the King of Mini-Golf from just off-screen.
- When Mabel fails on the last hole to break the record, she shouts "Poop, heck, darn!" Three guesses as to what common pairing of curse words she originally meant...
- While waiting for the kids in the car, Stan ends up putting on smooth jazz and reclining his seat. Then Soos (with his shirt off) leans back as well and tells his boss "Sure are a lotta stars out tonight..." Stan mutters "This is gettin' weird" and promptly gets out of the car.
- What book is Mabel holding in the library? "Ready Baby: How Babies Are Made".
- After Bill possesses Dipper's body, he takes a ride in Soos' pickup truck, sitting next to Wendy. It looks like he's staring at her chest.
- Gabe has his puppets make out... and then he later makes out with them himself after being disappointed with Mabel's show.
Mabel: I may have dodged a bullet with that one.
- When Soos' grandma says he needs to get a girlfriend before she "ascends to heaven to live with the angels," Soos adds, "And with Grandpa!"...to which his grandma responds that his grandpa wouldn't be there. As her eyes glance downward.
- During Willy Badger's performance, one of the children throws their overalls on stage.
- .GIFfany, a living character from a Japanese dating sim, mentioned to Soos that her father is partly an octopus. An octopus. And the first two options of the game mention squids.
- When on his date with Melody, Soos says he has to "go to the bathroom for a long time... Not in a weird way!"
- Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree.
- The end credits feature Stan and his antique statue taking a trip to Las Vegas, complete with a hip-hop tune performed by him, a limo full of showgirls, Stan marrying the statue, and ending with Stan becoming broke and sticking out his thumb for a ride home, next to the Welcome To Las Vegas sign! Another shot has them drinking a certain bubbly mixture in champagne glasses. The only reason this got past the censors is the fact the bottle says "rich people water."
Stan: I GOT WATER IN MY GLASS!.
- In "Hands Off", the witch is reading a magazine that says "Witches Be Trippin."
- When the kids are looking at the Witch's stand, a sign in the background can be seen advertising glasses. Stan walks into frame and his head covers the "gl," so all the viewer can see is "asses."
- In the first segment Stan asks for his hands back from the witch who stole them because he has a gesture to show her.
- When Stan gives the witch back the watch he stole from her, she drops it down the front of her shirt for safekeeping.
- The witch compliments a hiker's butt.
- Waddles makes Grenda a rocket pack. She immediately brags that she'll use it for voyeurism.
Grenda's gonna look at cute boys through skylights!
- When Dipper and Genius!Waddles build the machine to find out all of the answers to the universe's questions, Genius!Waddles says that one of the questions it will answer is "Why do dudes have nipples?".
- This wonderful little tidbit from Grunkle Stan:
Stan: Movies are great! You watch the movie, you scare the girl, the girl snuggles up next to you, next thing you know you gotta raise a kid, your life falls apart...forget that last part.
- Mermando, a traditional human merman is forced to marry the Queen of the Manatees, a manatee in a dress.
- Several teenagers graffiti the words "McSuckit" on Old Man McGucket's house. "Suck" is only slightly rude but "Suck it" is really only ever vulgar.
- One of the museum displays, labeled "Romance in Frontier Times," shows a hulking frontiersman carrying a kicking and screaming pioneer woman over his shoulder.
- McGucket communicating the fear of the group being discovered through hamboning and it's captioned as (approximately) "Oh, *&#%$!" Probably got through because there are five characters, and none of the profane words which make sense are that length. This is easy to miss though, ironically making it less obscene the closer you look at it. That is, until you remember that other five-letter curse used for emphasis.
- One of the Blind Eye members gets his robe sucked off by pneumatic tubes, revealing him to be only in his underwear. He calls his onlookers "prudes" for being disgusted.
- McGucket expressed how he "tarred it up", which can easily be misheard as "tarded up".
- Upon first meeting the time travelers, Mabel tries repeatedly kicking one in the crotch, believing them to be robots. Apparently, they have armor there specifically meant to deflect such attacks, which even plays an audio clip identifying itself as a cod piece.
Dolph's cod piece: Kick deflected! Thank you for buying Digi-Cod! The smart cod piece!
- A Game Over screen in the background has a FFFFFFFFF option.
- The titular Love God spends the entire episode acting like he's perpetually drunk.
- Given the nature and implied nature of the character, he may very well be spending the entire episode being actually drunk.
- Mabel forces Waddles and Gompers (who's never explicitly referred to as so, but is most likely male) to get "married" in the episode, complete with a credits sequence showing a scrapbook of their "wedding". The fact that they're animals is probably what let it get through.
- When deciding on matches for Robbie, Mabel puts the decidedly male Multi-Bear as a "maybe".
- When the Love God demonstrates his powers by making a snake and a badger fall in love, they walk off into the woods and Mabel exclaims delightedly that they're going to "make a snadger!"
- A fan of the Love God goes up to him and asks him to "sign her face", and the Love God does so as long as she "signs his face" too, proclaims, "LET'S GET WEIRD!" and they proceed to make out in front of Mabel, with the Love God rubbing his foot against the seat as he does so, clearly enjoying his "face signage".
- Threesome Subtext is fully implied when after sneaking into the Woodstick festival, Mable and Dipper find the Love God's van just in time to watch him roll out the back and turn to his two groupies, a woman and Tyler, and asks them to give him "Bed Head".
- The Love God even refers to them as his "groupies".
- Another explanation for what the three were doing comes from a Freeze-Frame Bonus where a suspiciously shaped glass tube can be seen.
- When Dipper is being bodysurfed through the concert crowd, he uncomfortably complains that "Everybody's touching everything!" His voice pitch raises in one of the syllables too, making it sound like a squeak as if he'd been groped.
- When the Love God chases the twins through the Woodstick festival, one of the patrons they pass by has a No More for Me moment. He's drinking "hippie tea", but the reference is still very obvious. The fact that it's hippie tea may actually make this worse.
- As Stan's balloon starts falling apart, he says the following as a giant H falls on his head.
"What the H?!"
- Although the radar frequently lets the show get away with showing blood, the scene where blood starts oozing from the eyes and mouths of several animal head trophies is exceptional, given that the radar later changed its mind and removed the scene from many subsequent broadcasts.
- Tambry walks in on the federal agents, one of which is Disguised in Drag, arguing Like an Old Married Couple. She immediately leaves, making it pretty obvious how it looks to her.
- "Guten take me now," while highly unlikely to be sexual given the context, is definitely not something that you would expect to hear in a show on the Disney Channel.
- On the non-sexual side of things, the Lumberjack Ghost's death ( an axe to the head) was surprisingly dark.
- Similar to the recurring woodpecker joke, McGucket mentions he has a "raccoon wife" and stuffs it into a sack to carry out of town. Black Comedy Rape or typical raccoon behavior? You decide.
- When Stan drops a barrel of waste on his foot he shouts "HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES!" He then comes to the conclusion that since he's alone, he can "swear for real", prompting him to exclaim "SON OF A—" before Dipper and Mabel stop the security tape.
- Which younger Stan would obviously one reason or another learned as a kid. He and his family lived next to the restaurant "HOT BELGIAN WAFFLES".
- The game is referred to as "D, D, and More D" by the characters. Out of context, it could easily be taken to mean something else in contemporary American slang...
- After Dipper and Ford are turned into D&D characters, Dipper remarks that "there better be something protective under this tunic." He turns away from the camera to check, before covering his groin and answering "Oh no, there isn't!" with obvious horror.
- Gideon complains that his pillow was taken by his cellmate "for a wife".
- Among a list of of Stan's crimes is first degree llamacide, and "pug trafficking", which he gives to a foreigner the next episode to get over the border.
- At the beginning of the episode, we clearly see Stan's "pug trafficking" business taking off.
- Mabel punches a unicorn in the face, which causes it to leak a rainbow fluid that may or may not be blood. When the girls return from their battle with the unicorns they're covered with it.
- When Dipper is first hooked up to the machine that can show his thoughts, a lot of text is visible for only a few seconds. Some of the phrases shown qualify as this. Not improved by the fact that his response to having his thoughts visible to Ford is "You might wanna ignore that last one" when he was refers to the various repetitions of WENDY.
- And then one of his audible thoughts is, "Is my fly down?" which may provide a more family-friendly reason why he wants to obscure his crotch. If not, then he had an erection poking out of his pants, right in front of the Author...
- The scene where Grenda exchanges the butterflies for the fairy dust plays out just like a drug deal, including bribing the equivalent of a Dirty Cop. (Considering the dust was intended to be used as a tranquilizer, one could make the argument that it was a drug deal. They chloroform a Faun too.)
- Not only that, the Gnome's dialogue implies that fairy dust might be made of ground up fairies.
- In the gnome bar, a gnome orders a drink and is told he needs to present ID; the drink he orders is an obvious alcohol parallel.
- The unicorns apparently had a "Man-Horse Calendar." ...ew.
- Dipper's stash of Wendy photos, which he apparently keeps under his bed in a box labeled DO NOT TOUCH.
- When Darlene is talking to Stan after she traps him in her web, she tells him that "This time, you're the one getting used for your body", referring to the fact that she's going to eat him. Simply referencing the act of using another person for selfish purposes would have been fine, but specifying that it's for their body leaves little wiggle room for non-sexual interpretations. Afterwards, "Allow me to slip into something more horrifying." before she transforms, a parody of the famous "Slip into Something More Comfortable" line often used right before a nude scene/sex.
- Dipper is excited to go to high school and learn about "You know what." It's trigonometry. Mabel's response? "Oh yeah, baby!" Made even better when you realize that trigonometry is the study of triangles. Let that sink in.
- Wendy, griping about High School, complains that "your body just flat out turns against you" while gesturing to her chest/crotch.
- What Bill does to Preston Northwest's face◊ involves no gore or blood, but is still one of the most extreme examples of Facial Horror in any media.
- One of Bill's friends, Pyronica, is quite, um, curvy, for a children's show. While still falling under Nonhumans Lack Attributes, out of any recognizable clothing she wears only opera gloves and stockings. Visible belly button and breast curvature doesn't help either.
- During the prison break out scene, the prison art teacher's legs can be seen under a large piece of rubble.
- Ford's BFG doesn't get a direct hit on Bill, instead leaving a hole in his hat—which showing the interior of it to be red, gooey flesh and bones that graphically regenerates on-screen.
- The town's waterfall has turned red. A news forecast mentions a Rain of Blood, so the river is almost certainly made of a blood as well.
- Bill's initial reaction to the Time Police arriving is clearly based on someone at a party trying to hide illegal drugs or underage drinking from the police.
Bill: Hide the time punch!
- Bill kills the Time Baby. Bill essentially kills a baby onscreen.
- The fake versions of Wendy's friends invite her for a ride. They mention bringing a bunch of fake IDs, implicitly for getting beer, cigarettes, or god-only-knows what.
- Possibly an animation error, but when Dipper and the fake Wendy are laying in the grass, Wendy turns to Dipper and she doesn't appear to be wearing an undershirt.note
- Dipper stares at Wendy's chest when they share a Group Hug.
- Bill is constantly threatening to kill Dipper and Mabel, tortures Ford on-screen, would have outright killed Mabel if Stan hadn't intervened, and says this at one point:
"I've got some children I need to make into corpses!"
- Bill hands Ford purple liquid in what is blatantly a martini glass. All it's referred to by is 'a drink.'
- Bill reveals that the furniture in his lounge is made of human skin.
- During its big fight scene, the Mystery Shack Mech rips out Bill's eye in graphic detail, complete with a series of jagged lines that are clearly an extra-dimension optic nerve. Pretty graphic, even if he can regenerate it.
- More eye horror: after Mabel temporarily blinds Bill with Robbie's spray paint can, she declares, "I know that hurts because I've accidentally done it to myself! Multiple times!" You half-expect a, "Don't try this at home!" warning to flash across the screen.
- For a split second, when Pyronica drops down, you can see her ass.
- When a despondent Stan and Ford are discussing what they're going to do about Bill trying to kill the kids, they share a canteen of what's implied to be liquor.
- When Ford kills Bill by wiping Stanley's mind, it's made to look like an execution scene, from the camera angles to his posture.
- Near the end Robbie's parents are poking zombies back into their graves. They kindly ask him to get the sawed off shotgun.
Promotional Material
Shop at Home with Mr. Mystery!
- Not only do the outtakes include a bit where Stan re-enacts the infamously profane Bill O'Reilly meltdown, but Alex apparently performed it in full on set and the audio was edited out later, as the Stan puppet can be seen mouthing "Fuck it!".


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Peristeria elata is a species of orchid occurring from Panama, Central America to Ecuador and Venezuela. It's the national flower of Panama. It is commonly referred to as the Dove orchid because of the tiny little dove that appears to be sitting in the center of the orchid. These peaceful and elegant orchids do have a fragr nce. The orchid has long pleated leaves borne at the top of large round pseudobulbs when mature
Why this orchid is a MUST-HAVE collection ?
Care :-

subset: commoncrawl


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Posted on Oct 28, 2014
in Fishing Reports by Capt. Scott Kerslake
Comments Off on October 23, 2014 – Lake Okeechobee Bass Fishing Report
Tags: Bass, Bass Fishing, FIshing Lake Okeechobee, Lake Okeechobee, Lake Okeechobee Fishing, Lake Okeechobee Fishing Report, Okeechobee Bass Guide
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Just 4 Bass | PO Box 1742, Okeechobee, FL 34973 | 910-330-9821


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Topic: How about a split keyboard mode?
Not sure if anyone else has suggested it, but I think it would be great to have a 'split keyboard' mode in Pianoteq. Any 2 presets could be compared instantly, side by side, instead of switching A/B. And if you wanted to have the bass half of one piano and the treble half of another, you could!


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Our team
The Magic Bus team is headed by Matthew Spacie, Founder and Executive Chairman, and Jayant Rastogi, CEO. There are four separate boards governing our organisation, one in each of the countries in which we operate.
Read more below about the Magic Bus UK team and Board of Trustees.
|Victoria Southwell, Director
Victoria joined Magic Bus UK in the spring of 2016, bringing with her over 18 years experience of working in senior roles within the charity sector.
Prior to joining Magic Bus UK, Victoria was UK Programme Manager at Comic Relief and managed significant levels of UK funding for the young people and refugee sectors. She has extensive knowledge of issues relating to young people in the UK and beyond and a strong set of relationships with key third sector organisations. Her development and analytical skills, alongside many years of experience in understanding and applying ever changing policy, make designing sustainable programmes capable of being scaled a key interest of hers.
One of Victoria's favourite aspects of being a funder was working with organisations to help them grow strategically and get as much value out of their funding as possible. Therefore, the opportunity to be working in a front line position for a grass roots Indian charity wanting to take it's model to other geographies was too exciting an opportunity to pass up.
Contact Victoria to find out more about Magic Bus.
Jane Backlog, Director of Fundraising, Major Donors & Events
Jane joined Magic Bus UK in the summer of 2017.
Jane comes to Magic Bus after 20 years with Comic Relief, where she managed high level relationships with corporate partners, key supporters, celebrities and trustees. Jane also organised Comic Relief events both large and small and is already planning an exciting calendar of events to engage and recruit more major donors in the UK. Her key focus at Magic Bus will be on launching our Ambassador Programme which will aim to significantly increase our unrestricted fundraising. She is also looking more broadly at how we can raise awareness of Magic Bus in the UK and link in with schools, corporate partners and engage more one off and regular donors.
Contact Jane to find out more about Magic Bus UK's fundraising strategy.
Coreen Reilly, Office Manager
Coreen joined Magic Bus in 2012. She has previously worked in Australia for UNHCR and Frontier Services, an organisation providing community services to families living in outback Australia and more recently an environmental think tank in London.
Ross Marshall, Information Coordinator
Ross joined Magic Bus in 2015, initially as a volunteer helping the fundraising team.
Since then Ross has taken on more responsibilities, managing Magic Bus UK's communications, social media presence, data protection, and research. He was hired as Magic Bus UK's Information Coordinator in the summer of 2017.
Contact Ross to find out more about Magic Bus UK's communications,
Magic Bus UK Board of Directors
Bernard Horn, Trustee
Bernard Horn had a varied career in financial services spanning 30 years, including 6 years as a Main Board Director of the NatWest Group (FTSE 100 company). His roles included five years as Chief Executive of the International Businesses and a similar period as Operations Director.
Since leaving NatWest, Bernard has developed a portfolio of activities acting both as Chairman and non executive Director, concentrating on smaller, entrepreneurial companies in consulting and software development and pro bono activities.
"Magic Bus is very special and different to anything else I do. It is the expressions on the face of the children and young people together with the many life changing stories for them, their families and their communities. Truly magical."
Jim Marshall, Trustee
Jim, a Chartered Accountant, is Group Tax Director of Pearson plc, the world's leading learning company. Prior to Pearson, Jim held a number of senior roles in tax in the UK and US, working at Diageo and Cadbury, where he was also Group Tax Director. He acts as a trustee to the Pearson pension scheme.
Jim joined the board of Magic Bus after visiting one of the Magic Bus India programmes in Delhi.
"From the moment I visited a Magic Bus programme in Delhi, I realised that this was a charity that was making a real difference to the lives of hundreds of thousands of young people in India; young people who without this intervention face a life of poverty and abuse in slums, on the streets or in deprived rural areas. There is so much more to do and by raising funds from the UK we are making an important contribution."
Ruby Parmar, Trustee
Ruby is a senior partner at professional services firm PwC. Among her various roles, Ruby heads up their UK Private Business practice with her main focus providing advice on her specialist area of corporate and personal taxation.
Ruby joined the board in 2013 having previously made several visits to the Magic Bus programme in Mumbai. Ruby also sits on the Magic Bus gala dinner committee.
"It took me a while getting fully engaged, partly due to time but mostly apathy, but now I am proud to be a Bus ambassador! Having visited one of the sites in Delhi and witnessed a session in progress, I believe it is one of the most effective and sustainable charities in its field."
|Hans Porsche, Trustee
Hans is an agronomist and business angel with a long track record in sustainable production of agricultural goods and services, in particular in aquaculture. He is a co-founder and director of HP-Capital Partners, an investment company focusing on opportunities in the sustainable use of natural resources and early stage direct investments.
As trustee of Magic Bus Hans aspires to help millions of children to learn through sport to choose an empowered life in a sustainable society.
"Life is not fair; what makes women and men noble is the continued effort to overcome this law of nature. Magic Bus empowers those children, who have had the most unfair start to their lives, to become masters of their own future by engaging them in sporting activities that teach them the most important corner stones for that game of life."
Magic Bus India team
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DNA test clears Dallas man jailed 27 years ago
Published 7:00 pm, Monday, April 28, 2008
Associated Press Writer
Days after he was jailed on New Year's Day 1981 for a murder he said he did not commit, James Lee Woodard began writing letters proclaiming his innocence to anyone who might listen.
More than 27 years later, Woodard is likely to become the longest-serving wrongly convicted man in the nation to be exonerated by DNA testing, his lawyers said.
Woodard was expected to be released on bond Tuesday after a DNA test showed he did not commit a 1980 murder, said Jeff Blackburn, chief counsel for the Innocence Project of Texas.
The Dallas County District Attorney's office is not opposing the request for bond, agreeing with defense lawyers that Woodard, now 55, was wrongly convicted in 1981.
"After a careful review of the files in this case by our Conviction Integrity Unit, it is apparent that James Woodard did not have a fair trial back in 1981 and the results of his post-conviction DNA test exclude him as the perpetrator of any sexual assault that may have occurred, making him eligible for bond while we finalize our investigation on this case," Dallas County District Attorney Craig Watkins said in a news release.
Woodard would become the 18th person in Dallas County to have his conviction cast aside, a figure unmatched by any county nationally, according to the Innocence Project, a New York-based legal center that specializes in overturning wrongful convictions.
Overall, 31 people have been formally exonerated through DNA testing in Texas, also a national high. That does not include Woodard and at least three others whose exonerations will not become official until Gov. Rick Perry grants pardons or the Texas Court of Criminal Appeals formally accepts the ruling of lower courts that have already recommended exoneration.
Woodard was sentenced to life in prison in July 1981 for the murder of a 21-year-old Dallas woman found sexually assaulted and strangled near the banks of the Trinity River.
Woodard was the boyfriend of the dead woman and also had previous convictions on charges including burglary and marijuana possession.
He was convicted primarily on the basis of testimony from two eyewitnesses, said Natalie Roetzel, the executive director of the Innocence Project of Texas. One has since recanted in an affidavit. As for the other, "we don't believe her testimony was accurate," Roetzel said.
Like nearly all the exonorees, Woodard has maintained his innocence throughout his time in prison. But after filing six writs with an appeals court, plus two requests for DNA testing, his pleas of innocence became so repetitive and routine that "the courthouse doors were eventually closed to him and he was labeled a writ abuser," Roetzel said.
As recently as 2004, a court without holding a hearing denied Woodard's request for DNA testing because prosecutors said there was no evidence to test, according to court documents.
"That was a lie," Blackburn said. "We discovered there was evidence to test."
In letter after letter written from prison, Woodard insisted he was innocent of his girlfriend's murder. In neat cursive written on lined paper, Woodard begged officials to reopen his case.
"My Social Status in society is below you but I think everyone is entitled to justice don't you?" he wrote to one law enforcement official in 1981.
In a 1984 letter, one of several he sent to former District Attorney Henry Wade, Woodard wrote: "I have appealed to you in every way I can and now I'm tired. You seem to be adamant in your decision not to investigate my case, but I won't give up until I get this thing out into the open because it's wrong for me to be here."
Woodard finally found a sympathetic audience in 2007. Watkins, the new district attorney, had begun a program in which law students, supervised by the Innocence Project of Texas, are reviewing hundreds of requests by convicts for DNA testing.
In October, Woodard's case caught the eye of a Texas Wesleyan law student working in the program. By December, DNA testing on semen from the sexual assault excluded Woodard as the perpetrator.
But the DNA test results did not immediately free Woodard. It absolved him of the rape. But he had been convicted of murder.
"The problem is they tried it as straight murder and not rape and murder," Roetzel said. "We had to able to tie the rape to the murder to get a post-conviction release."
Attorneys and investigators from the Conviction Integrity Unit and the Innocence Project of Texas logged thousands of hours working on the case in the last four months, officials said.
This year, a forensic pathologist who studied the DNA testing results, autopsy photos, the coroner's report and other evidence concluded the two crimes "were tied together in such a way that the rape results would conclusively show who the perpetrator was," Roetzel said.
"This is happening only because the Dallas DA established this program," Blackburn said. "There is no other county in the state that this could have happened in."


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NOTE: This review is written by our guest reviewer, Preston Stormer.
Set Index: Stormer 3.0
The clarion call was made, and I responded, as I always do. But new situations call for new bodies, so as good as Stormer 2.0 is, I needed to change.
"Alas, poor Stormer 3.0! I knew him, Horatio."…. sorry, just practicing my lines.
I can combine with Rocka 3.0 and become somewhat more powerful. Sometimes I need that extra 1%.
This is the raw components that make up my new body. The next 20 pages detail how much power I have, but I won't bore you with the details.
Laid out, the core components look simple, but that is just because you don't know what I know. Only the best goes into the Stormer parts bin.
I must confess, I expected a bird, an eagle for example. But a rhino was picked instead. In hindsight it makes sense; I am rather strong.
My mask is especially special. It not only resembles a rhino horn, it also looks like a knights helmet to symbolise the honour, bravery and modesty that I have.
I like the second horn.
It connects to my head in the standard fashion, but in this case it is extra strong.
This part was specially made for my new weapon, but I have allowed the second rate samples to be used by others. I'm sharing like that. This part is especially useful as it's another of the HF-to-clip parts.
This part looks passable inside as well. The ridges may just be there for strength, but they look good in any case.
Here is the same part being used to form my weapon. I don't really need weapons, but I use them anyway so the other heroes don't feel too inferior.
Unlike last time, I am the same height as the other heroes. It comes down to it that I don't need that kind of advantage. I could be half the size and I'd still be the most powerful hero.
Ready for transfer! I like the bulk of the left shoulder.
Transfer in three… two…
Von: No! Two Prestons! Why is the world so cruel?!
Stormer: Rhino power!
Perfect. 10/10
Nothing but net in all cases. 10/10
Like a fine red wine I just get better with age. 10/10
The only thing that comes close to this set is Stormer 2.0 10/10
….errr…. OK.
The REAL Ratings
Very considering many previous lines of this size. His weapon is more posable this time as well 9/10
If you don't have the sets from the last wave then this is a great buy (and add 4 to this score!), otherwise this set is a good buy only for the mask and the name panel. For the other new parts you'd be better off buying a bigger set. 5/10
All jokes aside, I do like the helmet. It's more usable than the other ones as it's animal origins are less clear. 9/10
What's Hero Factory without Preston? 7/10
It's much the same as Stormer 2.0, isn't it? A few different colours, a different mask and different weapon, but other than that, much the same. More and more I do question the logic in this whole "Six Good Guys" concept. This line is very good when compared to nothing, but when you compare them to others in the line and the 2.0 wave I think it's too similar. Perhaps right now TLG are trying to restrict the number of new moulds and that's why these are so similar, but I hope the next batch will have more variety, such as a 100% unique weapon for each Hero. (Note: Ignoring the 2.0 line these get a 8 from me…) 6/10


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Review | Author Bio | Read an Excerpt
Maria Garriott's Bio:
Maria Garriotts poetry, essays, and nonfiction articles have appeared in The Baltimore Sun, The New York Quarterly, The Christian Century, Urban Mission Journal, Our Sunday Visitor, and the Maryland Poetry Review. She earned a Masters degree in Professional Writing from Towson University, and is a curriculum writer at The Johns Hopkins University. She and Craig are parents of five children.
Maria and her husband Craig moved into a low-income urban Baltimore neighborhood in 1981 where Craig serves as pastor of Faith Christian Fellowship (Presbyterian Church in America), a church committed to racial reconciliation and ministry in Word and deed. The church presently has 500 regular attendees, and operates a Christian day school, tutoring program, sports leagues, and other ministries. Marias recording of original music, On the Avenue, was released in 1988. Maria speaks at churches, colleges, retreats, and conferences. She enjoys reading, playing guitar, hiking, and most of all spending time with her family.
Visit Maria's website at www.athousandresurrections.com


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Congenital oligonephropathy deteriorates development of hypertension and albuminuria due to renal mass reduction
Kongenitale Oligonephronie erhöht den arteriellen Blutdruck und die Albuminurie nach Nierenteilresektion
Search Medline for
|November 11, 2004
Deficit of congenital nephron number determines development of arterial hypertension in adult life. We investigated the role of congenital oligonephropathy for development of hypertension and renal function due to renal mass reduction.
Methods and Results
Munich Wistar Fömter (MWF) rats with a genetic reduction of nephron number were compared to Wistar rats with normal nephron number. At 8 weeks of age animals underwent sham-operation (sham), renal mass reduction (Nx), or Nx and treatment with the angiotensin-converting enzyme inhibitor ramipril (ACE) for 4 weeks.
Systolic blood pressure (SBP), and albuminuria (UAE), were elevated, and creatinine clearance (Ccrea) was decreased in both MWF-Nx and Wistar-Nx groups compared to their sham-operated controls (p<0.05, respectively). Dependent on nephron number, SBP, UAE, were increased, whereas Ccrea was not altered in MWF-Nx compared to Wistar-Nx (p<0.05, respectively). Treatment with ramipril in MWF-Nx-ACE and Wistar-Nx-ACE did lower SBP, UAE, and increased Ccrea compared to MWF-Nx and Wistar-Nx (p<0.05, respectively).
Reduced inborn nephron number deterioretes manifestation of hypertension and albuminuria due to renal mass reduction. ACE inhibition exerts antihypertensive and renoprotective effects after renal mass reduction in congenital oligonephropathy.


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The Plan B pill
- 100 Replies
Is this population control?
Thinking more about it, I can see how teenagers will say things like "we don't need condoms! We can just use the pill!". I especially see boys saying that to convince the girl.
I'm scared that these teens will not know the magnitude of the situation. They will think it's just another convenient option. The words "emergency" on the box will be no longer have any meaning.
I know many will say that it's better than a pregnant teen or teen moms.
But, wow. The doors are being opened wider and wider.
I will admit, when I was 15, I got pregnant. I had an abortion. If the option to take a pill was there for me, I would have used it.
I'm more scared of teens (well, adults as well) not realizing that STD'S will only continue to be on the rise, especially after this.
I want to hear your opinions. I want to hear all sides. Please :)
You do realize plan b is not the abortion pill, right?
i'm really on the fence about this...on the one hand, i like that girls have so many options that we didn't used to have.
on the other hand, what if the girl has a condition that makes the pill contraindicated? handing out pills just doesn't seem safe no matter what it's for.
I think it gives teens a false sense of security. I think they should have to go to a doctor and get a prescription. I think it will make them less likely to use condoms as well. And, basically, I think it is sad all the way around. I don't think many teens will plan ahead and realize that the pill costs upwards of $50 to get and will just assume it is as cheap condoms.
The Plan B pill has always been OTC and available to teens the only difference now is that instead of being able to get it without a parent knowing before you had to be 17 now you have to be 15...it is only for the Plan B One Step the traditional two step one still has the same restrictions on it as it always has...my concern is that younger teens will start to use it as regular birth control and that isn't how it is meant to be used...also most states the age of consent is 16 so I think that it should only be available to those who are legally old enough to consent to sex
I think it's a great option for teens if a condom breaks. But condoms and regular birth control should still be their first options. However, it's up to the adults in their lives to have this discussion with them. Good luck with that.


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Other activities over the weekend will include Arts and Sciences displays, other marshallate activities, as well as the many meetings usually associated with a Coronation Event.
VOLUNTEERS: July Coronation is a Kingdom of An Tir event. Much help will be needed in order to make the event a successful one. Please contact the July Coronation Volunteer Coordinator.
MERCHANTS: Preregistration will be required. Please contact the merchant o'crat, Marco @ email@example.com with any questions.
EVENT PRE-REGISTRATIONS: Pre-registrations for July Coronation are now open and will end on June 1, 2009. Please visit the Pre-Registration page to confirm your registration status.
PARKING POLICY: Please move your vehicles to the designated parking area as soon as it is unloaded. Do not park in unauthorized areas. You WILL be towed! Please view the complete parking policy.
RVs:There is no RV accommodation at this end of the park. If you would like to bring your RV please contact Milo McIver Park directly. There will be another fee associated.
HOURS: Site opens on 1pm on Friday, July 17th and closes at 3:00 PM on Sunday, July 19th. This does not mean to start breaking down at 3:00 pm.
SITE LOCATION: Location will be Milo McIver State park (home of Sport of Kings) Estacada, Oregon.
SITE INFORMATION: Site is discretely wet. Pets are welcome, but owners must keep them controlled and clean up any pet treasures.
EQUESTRIAN: Please be advised that there will not be any Equestrian activities at July Coronation . Also, no provisions have been made to allow for horses on site. Thank you for understanding.
SITE FEES: Weekend: Adults (18+): $15 US, $18 US (NON-MEMBERS) Youth (6-18): $10 US; Children 5 and under free; Family Cap: $48 US, Please make checks payable to "The Barony of Three Mountains; SCA, Inc."
AUTOCRAT Mistress Attia, email@example.com


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Orient Thai Airlines, which operates regional and domestic services, is acquiring eight 172-seat MD-80s from Continental Airlines and will phase out two of its eight 747s. The MD-80s will be used by budget operation One-Two-Go. As part of the fleet revamp, two 757s flown by One-Two-Go will be transferred to Orient Thai. Bangkok Airways has decided to add 717s to its fleet despite acquiring A320s. It has sourced two more 717s, its fifth and sixth, that will be put into service next year.
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The D.C. police department has instituted an online reporting system that allows the public to alert authorities to suspected terrorist activity.
The program, announced Wednesday, is called iWATCHDC, and is described by police as "the next evolution in an integrated terrorism-prevention plan" that involves other forms of intelligence-gathering.
Users can log onto to iwatchdc.dc.gov and file detailed reports, including photos, of any suspicious activity they observe. The Web site contains information about how to prepare the reports and says they should take less than five minutes to complete.
"You will be prompted to enter your contact information so that a member of the Metropolitan Police Department may contact you to follow up with any additional questions about what you've witnessed," the department said, adding that "every report is reviewed by analysts."
"We encourage anyone who witnesses what appears to be suspicious or out of the ordinary activity to report this by using iWATCHDC or calling 911," said Chief Cathy L. Lanier said in a statement. "Even though the activity may seem insignificant, it may just be the piece of information that is needed to get a clearer picture of a potential terrorist plot or criminal activity."


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Are you talking about Chelsea's face? She looks pissed!Originally Posted by catn3d;2915518;
Are you talking about Chelsea's face? She looks pissed!Originally Posted by catn3d;2915518;
No, Noelle's. Someone else needs to go watch it, because I can't explain it.Originally Posted by luv4dummies;2915526;
LOL!! I hadn't noticed Noelle's look. She is looking straight at Shayne, it seems, while Matt keeps hanging on to Shayne, almost squeezing her shoulder, or whatever he's doing that keeps moving her closer to him.Originally Posted by catn3d;2915530;
She is looking right at them. Watch her facial expression throughout.Originally Posted by Valen;2915539;
You are right, cat! I just looked at my dvd and saw it too.Originally Posted by catn3d;2915543;
What did you see?Originally Posted by BlondieGal;2915546;
Blondie, can we get a SC? please please, please!Originally Posted by BlondieGal;2915546;
I was going to cap it but did not because it really is a series of looks she gives Matt and Shayne.Originally Posted by luv4dummies;2915549;
oh shucks! thank you anyway I have to go to ABC sightOriginally Posted by BlondieGal;2915563;
I'm not sure SCs will do it justiceOriginally Posted by luv4dummies;2915549;


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Weaning/Boob size
So when I weaned my first, my boobs shrank down to smaller size than before I was pregnant, and I'm thinking when we were done nursing, it was when my boobs were already empty.
I'm thinking my second is weaning now...somewhat by accident, somewhat totally fine with me (he's 15 months old now--a month older than my first when I weaned him)... I could start noticing I wasn't as much into at least the daytime nursings. He's kind of asked for it a couple times (last nursing was on Saturday) but also seems to be okay as long as he gets extra snuggles at bedtime.
So what I'm wondering... my boobs are really big now--will they actually stay bigger this time? Before I was pregnant with my first, I was a C, when I weaned him, I was a B, and just before I got pregnant with my second, those B bras were almost too big! Now, they're pretty full, and I SOO want them to stay that way!! That's part of why I've continued to hold off on nursing, bc I expected weaning to happen sometime soon anyway, that if my boobs end their nursing career larger rather than smaller, then maybe they will stay...?


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"Okay so I haven't had my period since January 2013. I lost my virginity in febuary. Used protection (condom). Still haven't had my period. I took 4 pregnancy test all came out negative. My doctor had me take one and it alson came out neg..."
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The Tampa Bay Lightning should have been in Pittsburgh this morning, getting ready for a game Tuesday night against Sidney Crosby and the Penguins. It would have been the Lightning's 37th game of the season.
Instead, players are scrambling from across the globe to get back to Tampa Bay for an abbreviated training camp that will precede an abbreviated season.
Shortened and late is better than never, right?
Maybe. The NHL's 113-day lockout finally ended Sunday, and the excitement of hockey cranking back up is tempered by the anger that we've spent the past three months listening to commissioner Gary Bettman and union chief Donald Fehr instead of watching Steven Stamkos and Marty St. Louis. (Speaking of which, is there any way we can make Bettman and Fehr stand in front of a net and take a few crosschecks in the kidneys from Eric Brewer?)
So as we wait for this season to get going, let's take a look at the winners and losers of the lockout.
Winner: Owners. If the lockout was an actual hockey game, the owners blew out the players. We can dissect all the items in the new collective bargaining agreement and find a few lines here and there where the owners gave in. But every labor deal in all businesses comes down to one thing: how to split up the pie. Under the last NHL deal, the owners collected 43 percent of hockey-related revenue, the players 57 percent. This time around, there is a 50-50 split. We're talking perhaps a $3 billion swing over the next 10 years. Yeah, that makes the owners the huge winner.
Loser: Players. Not only are the players giving back 7 percent of the revenue, they lost about 40 percent of their salaries for this season for not playing. That's gone forever. It was not a total whitewash. The players now have a decent pension plan, and there's a seven-year (in some cases an eight-year) limit on individual contracts as opposed to the five years the owners wanted. But overall, the best thing the players can say today is: "Hey, it could have been worse.'' That's not good.
Loser: NBC Sports Network. The network paid more than $200 million a year for the NHL's broadcasting rights and has had to spend the past three months filling the air with Babe Winkelman's Outdoor Secrets and bad boxing cards. Its anchor tenant is back.
Winner: Scot Beckenbaugh. He was the federal mediator who saved the league from going over its own little fiscal cliff. Just days before the league's self-imposed deadline to salvage the season, Beckenbaugh worked tirelessly, shuffling back and forth between the stubborn owners and desperate players to find enough common ground to kick-start the final compromise. Forget Stamkos or Crosby, Beckenbaugh already has my vote for league MVP.
Loser: Gary Bettman. The commissioner works for the owners, and they are likely pleased with Bettman, seeing as how he got them the deal they wanted. But Bettman's already shaky reputation among players and fans took a serious hit, so serious that it's time for the owners to start searching for a new commissioner. There is just too much animosity for him to be an effective leader.
Winner: Lightning owner Jeff Vinik. His participation in the negotiations in December didn't lead to an agreement, but he is now seen as one of the more reasonable voices among the owners. He now has a stellar reputation among the players and other respected owners, as opposed to hard-liners such as Jeremy Jacobs (Bruins) and Murray Edwards (Flames), two thick-headed egomaniacs who nearly sabotaged the talks and got the season canceled. Oh, one more thing about Vinik. Unlike some owners, he kept all team employees at full pay while continuing to donate money regularly to charity.
Winner: Smaller-market teams. The salary cap will decrease next season, giving the smaller-market teams more of a chance to compete with the big boys. Also, the league will have revenue sharing that should help smaller markets.
Loser: Smaller-market teams. The revenue sharing did not go as far as it should have, and the overall agreement still leans toward the richer clubs.
Loser: Team and league office workers. Many teams laid off employees. Some went to four-day workweeks, meaning staffers took a 20 percent pay cut. Are you telling me the league was that hard up that it couldn't keep everyone on its staff at full pay? Bettman and the owners who slashed staff and payroll — mostly as a lame negotiating ploy — should be ashamed of themselves.
Loser: The NHL. This is its third major labor dispute since 1994, and since then, the league has lost the equivalent of two seasons. That's embarrassing and the reason why many, especially in this country, barely give the sport a second thought.
Loser: The fans. It's Jan. 7, and there is no hockey game tonight, just like there hasn't been one since June's Stanley Cup final. We have to wait just a little longer and then we'll have our hockey back. We want to be happy about that. First, we need to get past our anger.


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"Can I have one more hug?" Most parents expect to hear such requests when they're putting their youngsters to bed, but my seven-year-old daughter is still calling out one, two and sometimes three hours after she's gone to bed. In short, she won't go to sleep.
It's not as if she's running around or even getting out of bed. In fact, her silence gives the impression that she's fallen fast asleep. But then, the little voice calls out.
Nine times out of ten, it's a ploy to get me in to tell me about something she's been thinking about. Something that happened in school that day, for instance, or a worry about something happening tomorrow.
So what should I do? Get cross? Ignore her? Or give in to the repeated hugs?
"The classic mistake is to get frustrated and angry," says Liz Fraser, Modern Family Expert for Care.com. "Often, we are so desperate for an evening to ourselves, or for our own sleep, that it's very tempting to just want to shout 'GO TO SLEEP!' But the effect of this is to further upset your child, who will then have even more trouble sleeping."
Another easy trap is to tell them they're being silly and should just go to sleep. "This totally ignores whatever worries or problems they're having and can also make matters worse," says Fraser.
Other parents try to solve the problem by letting their children go into their bed. "But this can be a slippery slope into never getting them to go back to their own room," she says. "Every so often, it's fine and can help to settle them. But do always try to take them back to their own bed if possible so they can associate that with sleeping well, not with bad nights."
Keeping calm is essential, believes Fraser. "Be caring, loving, protective and understanding and try to find out what's bothering them."
After all, she says, one of the main reasons for sleeplessness among primary school children is the period of transition from a fairly care-free toddler, just playing, to a child that understands much more about the world, has more worries, thoughts and social pressures at school.
Or it might just be that they're physically growing, she says. "For some youngsters, growing pains are a real problem and can keep them awake at night."
Being overtired is another major cause of delaying sleep, reports Lisa Artis of the Sleep Council.
She adds that being hungry, or conversely too full, can be a problem. "Children who are over hungry or too full of food – especially the wrong type of food – will not settle and sleep well. Being too thirsty can be a problem too as mild dehydration can affect sleep. Also the wrong type of drinks before bed will not help achieve a good night's sleep."
Then there are children who are just not comfortable, says Artis, who points out that many parents think nothing of spending a fortune on shoes for a child's growing feet but skimp on a mattress.
"A bed with a supportive mattress is a must for a growing child. An old, lumpy mattress is not likely to be conducive to quality sleep and can lead to back problems later in life, as well as affecting allergies such as asthma or eczema."
Being frightened may be an issue too. "Nightmares and night terrors can leave children distressed and less likely to go to bed. Meanwhile, children who are over-stimulated in the hours before bed – with active play or use of technology, for example – struggle to settle down and sleep."
Artis' advice is to establish and stick to a bedtime routine right from the start until the early teens. "This is normally along the lines of teatime, followed by quiet play, bath, story and then bed. The story could be made up, read out loud or to themselves. Otherwise, why not use the time to ask your child about their day?
"As a general rule of thumb, under threes will need 12 hours sleep; four to six year olds between 10.5 and 11.5 hours; six to 12 year olds around 10 hours and teenagers about eight to nine hours."
Ensure the environment is right for sleep, she adds. "It should be a cool, quiet, dark and free from distraction. Ideally computers, gaming machines and TVs should be banned from the bedroom but if that's unlikely, to keep them away from the bed and try to limit the use of these devices just before bedtime."
Do remember that like adults, children's sleep times can vary, however. "So don't feel anxious if your child isn't asleep by a set time," says Artis. "As long as they are lying down and are quiet, it's promoting a relaxing environment."
Mind you, points out child psychologist Lyn Fry, children have been known to surreptitiously get a bunch of teddies to play with quietly or slip a notebook and pen or electronic device under their pillow. "You need to make sure they are genuinely trying to drift off," she says.
Fry believes a reward system can be useful. "A lucky dip in the morning for any child who goes to sleep nicely or a reward after going to sleep for a certain number of nights on the trot can work wonders.
"It can also be useful to tell your child that you'll come in and check on them in 10 minutes after saying goodnight as it stops them feeling the need to shout out and helps them feel reassured. Even if they pretend to be asleep when you go in, that's a good thing as it means they're doing all the right things to lead to good sleep."
Too many parents simply announce that it's bed time out of nowhere, she says. "That means there's no clear messages, consistency or calming down period – all of which are essential to promoting sleepiness at the end of the day. Sleep is all about habit and routine."
5 top tips to help your child go to sleep:
- A warm milky drink can help to calm and sooth before bed.
- Night lights can help make children feel more reassured, especially if they are afraid of the dark.
- Having a radio playing gentle, classic music can distract the mind from worrying.
- If you think your child is too old for a bedtime routine, think again.
- Aromatherapy oils, including lavender and chamomile, work directly on your child's limbic lobe (the part of the brain that controls emotions) as well as relaxing their nervous system.
More on Parentdish
Musical beds: Does it matter if your child won't stay in bed all night?
Crazy things said while up in the night with children
Establishing a bedtime routine


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