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tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125 Peg Kerr's Journal The Holy Tree Grows Within the Heart pegkerr 2019-04-22T04:44:32Z tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1765380 Minicon Easter Tarot reading 2019-04-22T04:01:33Z 2019-04-22T04:44:32Z contemplative public 3 On Easter, the last day of Minicon, I have done a tarot reading for years, using the Celtic Cross spread. I record notes about the reading in a little notebook I keep with my decks. As I was paging through, ready to begin, I saw a note I'd put there several years ago:

The study of tarot is the study of questions whose answers we fear.

I thought about as I pulled out my deck. I've used my Harry Potter deck for a lot of readings, but I decided for this one to go back to my Jane Austen deck, because the question I had been mulling over was about relationships, specifically, about how to handle a new relationship as well and ethically as possible, and that seemed rather appropriate. Jane does seem to focus a lot in her fiction about how to live an exemplary life.

As I pulled out my materials, I discovered that was just as well. I had grabbed my tarot materials in a hurry when I'd packed for the convention, and I'd managed to leave the companion book to the Harry Potter deck behind. I'd left the companion book to the Jane Austen deck behind, too. Oops. But at least I had the little pocket guide to that deck.

I always try to ask open-ended questions when doing these readings--not asking for a forecast of the future--but framing it along the lines of 'What do I need to know (or think about) X.'

For this year, I asked, "What do I need to know about this new stage of my life, the interstices between widowhood and a potential new partnership?" Keeping in mind the quotation I read in my notebook, I wanted to particularly pay attention to the shadow side, what I feared and how that might get me stuck.

( Here's how the reading went )

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1765163 Social Media Manifesto at Minicon 54 2019-04-21T02:15:25Z 2019-04-21T13:15:15Z public 7 minnehaha K. and have been talking here at Minicon 54. The result of our conversation over the past weekend is the following:

Social Media Manifesto

Whereas: Fandom is at its best when it provides communities a place to gather;

Whereas: Fans have perfected the art of the personal essay;

Whereas: Livejournal was an exceptional gathering place for Fandom;

Whereas: Russia, a hostile foreign power, controls Livejournal;

Whereas: Hostile entities have disproportionate representation on Facebook and Twitter, with serious impacts on their pleasantness and utility; moreover, bots and trolls infest these platforms;

Whereas: The curated feed allows these companies to determine what we see and in what order;

Whereas: Dreamwidth is the logical successor to Livejournal, and uses the same code;

Whereas: Dreamwidth does not have a surveillance-based corporate profit-driven business model;

THEREFORE, we, the undersigned call upon Fandom to recreate their online community and to do it on Dreamwidth.

Signed,

minnehaha K.
pegkerr
jbru
minnehaha B.
cakmpls
laurel
carbonel

(And I have to find the other user names: Kevin Austin, Martin Schafer, Bill Higgins).

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1764925 Eric 2019-04-08T12:04:12Z 2019-04-08T12:04:12Z public 3 Went to Albert Lea this weekend with Eric to meet a couple of his friends and visit a winery.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1764785 So, some good news 2019-03-22T15:27:41Z 2019-03-22T23:40:09Z public 14 I am seeing someone.

His name is Eric, and he was a classmate of mine at St. Olaf. We didn't know each other at school really at all--knew each other's name, maybe, as my graduating class was reasonably sized, but we never took a class together.

We reconnected at the 2012 St. Olaf 30-year reunion. We happened to get seated next to each other at the dinner, and he made some passing remark about Harry Potter. I lit up like a firefly and talked his ear off.

When I lost my job in 2016, I reached out to everyone I could think of to do informational interviewing, and I called him up to talk about his company. When our conversation was over, he said, "You know, I've been thinking about doing some career re-alignment myself. How about we check in with each other every couple of months, just to see how the job hunt is going?" So we did that. We found we had a lot in common, including some parenting issues.

When the 2017 reunion came around, he asked if I would be going. I said I wouldn't because I couldn't afford to--Rob was really sick, and funds were limited. He offered to pay for my ticket, and we drove to the reunion together.

He never met Rob, but he did come to the funeral.

We checked in occasionally during the summer of 2018 and went to a movie together. In November, I wanted to go to a one-man show of A Christmas Carol, and Fiona wasn't available, so I called Eric.

Things have taken off from there.

He reminds me of Rob in some ways: he has the same Myers Briggs type as Rob did, he's also an attorney, and he's a Ravenclaw like Rob was. But he reminds me of me, too. He has had some frustrations about being in the wrong job for too long. He went to the same college I did, he went to study abroad in England like I did (we went different semesters), he has spent time making his living as a writer, and we share a personal faith, which is something that was never important to Rob.

But of course, when it comes down to it, he is neither Rob nor me. He is himself. And I am enjoying getting to know him.

He has two sons, a little younger than Fiona and Delia.

We read books together. I have introduced him to Pamela Dean's Tam Lin, which he absolutely loved, and we're reading War for the Oaks together now. He brings me flowers.

We make each other happy, for now.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1764402 House issues 2019-03-22T15:14:07Z 2019-03-22T15:17:06Z public 3 As you may or may not know, it was a tough winter here in Minnesota (yay, it's Spring! Yay!) I dealt with the shoveling, even when the pile of snow outside my driveway reached over six feet in height. But a more serious problem was revealed when all that snow started to melt.

Delia, fortuitously, happened to be home because of a doctor's appointment. She called me at work to let me know that water was pouring into the basement. I managed to snag the last Shop-vac for rental at the local hardware store and although there is a ton of stored stuff in the basement, most of where the water reached was in plastic bins, and we moved everything else out of the way in time, so there was no damage. That was the good news.

At first, I thought it was backing up from the floor drain. I had the guy comes out who routers out the roots every year and a half--it had been just done last July--and he said the drain was clear. When the rain came back, we realized that it was pouring under the side service door and running down the wall into the basement.

I called the insurance company. I called a contractor. Problem is: the foundation wall on that side of the house is leaning, perhaps from underground water pressure. It's set the door frame ajar (I probably had heat pouring out of there all winter, too.) "It's probably been doing it gradually for five or six years," the contractor said, looking at me as if to say, Why haven't you dealt with it before now, lady?

Oh, yeah. Rob got cancer, what, six years ago? I've been distracted.

He gave me an estimate and a list of priorities: shore up the basement foundation wall; that's absolutely critical. $2,600.00. Next, radon testing and abatement (am currently testing now to see if it's an issue--if it is, that'll be $2,000.00). Then install gutters on the house (need to get an estimate from another contractor). Get another contractor to bust up the sidewalk that runs flush beside the house and relandscape away from the house. Get a carpenter to re-align the door and re-do the stairs to the basement. He also suggested installing drain tile ($3,600.00), a sump pump ($350.00) and encapsulation ($900.00).

Okay. Am dealing with it. Calling contractors, calling the state to find out about homeowner low- cost loans. My family will probably help.

The adjuster is coming out Monday to confirm, but I've been told to expect that my homeowner's insurance will cover none of it.

I had planned to go to England this summer. Not sure whether I'll be able to do it now.

I've been dealing with it rather well, all things considered. The one really bad moment was the day I was out in the pouring rain, trying (fruitlessly) to break up the ice on the sidewalk that was pooling water against the foundation, getting soaked in the water sluicing off the roof, and crying because Rob wasn't here to help me with this, and how could he do that to me?

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1764163 Bag End Little Free Library coming as memorial for Rob 2019-03-22T14:59:25Z 2019-03-22T14:59:25Z public 4 I pondered for a long time what an appropriate memorial for Rob would be, and now it is starting to take shape.

Rob and I had talked about getting a Little Free Library in front of our house, and after he died, I determined that would be the best way to remember my book-loving husband.

I seriously pursued the idea of embedding a Bag-End themed Little Free Library into the hill in front of my home and talked with several landscaping companies. While I got some beautiful designs, the cost was just too far out of reach for me. But I was referred to Terry Faust of WeeWeatherVanes who had already constructed several Little Free Libraries, including a round one. Terry is making the library for me now, based on a planter pot that will be mounted on a pole, and I am so excited!

He managed to find a very Bag End-like decorative hinge at a recycling store. He had already cut the window in the door when he found the hinge, and the hinge fit perfectly!

He has made several weather vanes, including a dragon one

and one designed especially for me, showing a hobbit holding a sword and reading a book, which will be installed on the top (I can swap them out).

It will be stocked with science fiction and fantasy books, many from Rob's overflowing collection.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1763860 Super late: pictures from Christmas 2019-01-28T02:09:08Z 2019-01-28T02:09:48Z public 5 I usually post these promptly, but I'm over a month late. We had a lovely Christmas, something we were rather worried about. Our family breakfast on Christmas morning was the heart of our Christmas every year, and the girls and I wondered what it would be like without Rob. We wanted to keep our precious ritual, but we wondered whether it would be possible to find any joy in it with an empty place at the table. We solved this by moving the breakfast to the new coffee table in the living room, where we lit Rob's memorial candle. To our relief, the breakfast gave us comfort rather than pain.

Here are a few pictures:

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1763768 Stay at home vacation = lots of work and new furniture 2018-11-17T22:29:55Z 2018-11-18T04:47:06Z accomplished public 7 I took the week off work this week, and with the assistance of faithful family and friends, I removed what I estimate to be 3 TONS of stuff (mostly Rob's stuff) from my house and garage. The truckload weighed in 4040 lbs at the South Transfer Station, and aside from that, I also took a bunch of file cabinets to the scrap yard, gave other furniture away, and threw out so much recycling that I filled my bin, a neighbor's bin and others hauled yet more away to their own bins. The pile in my garage and basement is considerably less, and today, my new furniture was delivered. It looks gorgeous.

It was a difficult week emotionally. I went through drawers and file cabinets and continually was gobsmacked at what I found (really, you're using your file cabinet to store issues of Bench & Bar magazine from 1994? TV Guides from 1989? REALLY?) When we dropped off the file cabinets at the scrapyard, I started crying when we shoved out the file cabinet that had stood in Rob's office/TV room for decades and I watched the steel claw on the crane tear it into bits. I also wept when we shoved the law books out onto a pile of garbage at the transfer station dump.

But today, I had my reward: new furniture was delivered, and it looks just gorgeous. (That wing chair, by the way, is a stealth recliner). Thanks to the family and friends who worked so hard to help me this week. Thanks for the food, the advice, the cleaning, the willingness to take furniture and other stuff, the transportation, the room in your cars and recycling bins, the sweat, the laughter, and the encouragement.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1763416 Samhain Tarot reading 2018-11-01T03:26:24Z 2018-11-02T11:48:53Z public 1 Today is the anniversary of the awful day that Rob and I learned that the suspicious PET scan he had recently received was not lymphoma coming out of remission, it was leukemia (caused by the first chemotherapy he'd received) that would go on to kill him a little less than three months later.

It is Samhain, the day when the souls of the dead are said to approach as close as they ever do to the living, Halloween, the day before All Soul's Day.

It seemed to be an auspicious day to do a Tarot reading, and given the day, the anniversary, and the fact that I most usually use my Harry Potter tarot deck, it seemed right to find a Deathly Hallows Spread. I found one quickly:

<large>1 2 3</large>

1: The Elder Wand - something that is both winning and losing
2: The Resurrection Stone - what has been lost and will not, cannot, come back
3: The Invisibility Cloak - what you've come to accept

Here is the Tale of the Three Brothers and the Deathly Hallows:

I drew three cards. All three were reversed. I thought about the reversals, but the reading seemed clearer if I just ignored them.

1: The King of Cups

The King of Cups. The book about the Harry Potter tarot says this can be the archetype of the injured King, the man who fell into guilt and learned wisdom through pain and suffering.

Well, I don't know about guilt, but this card to me is plainly Rob. Cups are water. Rob was born in November, and that is under Scorpio, which is a water sign. Wounded, pain and suffering: check. He won because he defeated lymphoma, but he lost, defeated by leukemia. And I lost him. Cups seems right, as he is right at the center of my grief (emotion, love).

Edited to add: I've thought more about why Rob's card would be in this position, the Elder Wand position. The fact is, when it came to fighting cancer, Rob thought he was undefeatable. And for a while, it looked as though he was right. He went through four or five chemos, radiation, four surgeries, immunotherapy. He beat the odds to an extent that it astonished his doctors and his--arrogance, I guess, that he would always beat them almost irritated me. At one point, I asked him how long he thought he would live with lymphoma. "Oh, fifteen to twenty years, I guess." Eyebrows raised, I asked the doctor. "I met you a year ago," the doctor said, "and in that year, eighty percent of my patients with your diagnosis have died."

Like the eldest brother in the tale, Rob was undefeated. He beat lymphoma; he was lymphoma-free when he died. But he was taken out by a stealth opponent, who betrayed him, arising directly as a result of his chemotherapy.

He fought cancer for four and a half years, but I think he only really understood he was going to die when the doctor told him so the day before. Like the eldest brother in the tale, Rob died in his sleep, rousing only the last few seconds before his breath stopped to see me and Fiona, keeping watch over him.

2: 6 of Cups - Happiness

What has been lost and will not, cannot, come back? Well, the thought that happiness is lost and never coming back — isn't that a kick in the teeth. Yet, yes, the happiness I had being married to him is over. That is what grief is about. Note that this card specifically references Felix Felices. We always said that Rob was lucky in his fight with cancer...until he ran out of luck.

Another tarot book talked a bit about how this card (if you ignore the reversal) is about the past, previously, formerly. Memories. Thoughts of past loves. Faded, vanished. Longing, yearning. Traumas, mistakes.

As I enter this season of the anniversaries leading up to Rob's death, this also feels right. This feels like I'm looking back at those painful points (Halloween when we learned of the leukemia, Thanksgiving, when he entered the hospital for the last time, Christmas, when we were so sad to be apart, and the end of January, when he died).

Edited to add: After thinking about it, I realized: Harry used up the Felix Felices (gone, never to come back) to appeal to Slughorn on behalf of his mother (gone, never to come back) in order to get a truth he needed. An interesting play off the concept of memory/nostalgia incorporated in the card.

Thinking some more about why this card is in the Resurrection Stone position. The second brother in the story could not stop looking backward toward his lost love (nostalgia), feeling that all his hopes of happiness were tied to her. But she was gone, and the knowledge destroyed him. This card is a warning, like the warning that Dumbledore gave Harry when he was spending too much time gazing into the Mirror of Erised at his lost family: "It does not do to dwell in dreams, Harry, and forget to live."

3: Princess of Disks

This card, I'm pretty sure, is me. Luna is a character we meet in the aftermath of grief. The book says,
"Love, warmth, protection, being in tune with nature, being at rest with oneself, caring, growth.

The Princess of Earth (Disks) [I was born in April, under the sign of Taurus, which is an Earth sign] is a somewhat shy but very creative and warm-hearted young woman. She is trusting and open to new ideas and willing to follow through on her plans, no matter what. She is reliable, kind, and in tune with the cycles of nature within herself and within the world around her. Her insights are powerful, not necessarily at a superficial intellectual level, but because they express a deeper sense of truth....while her unshakeable belief of nargles and blibbering humdingers exposes her to the ridicule of her fellow students, it expresses a deeper truth: that this world is full of magic and surprises, if only we open our eyes and believe. She also acknowledges that sometimes knowledge is only achieved through pain. She can see and befriend thestrals because of the death of her mother."
Yes. I can see thestrals now. And yes, I think my pain and my grief has led to a lot of growth in the last year. I would hope I am reliable and kind. I would be honored to be like Luna in these ways.

I've created a Widow's music playlist. Many of the songs explore the myriad aspects of grief. I like playlists that follow a narrative arc: the beginnings songs focus on widows who want nothing more than to follow the beloved into death (the first song on the list is "I Am Stretched on Your Grave") and the last one that closes it out is a song that is suggestive of the sort of wisdom that Luna has mastered, understanding death as she does. (One my Harry Potter fanfiction stories puts it this way: "Because you know death...Because you've faced it and fought it and feared it and denied it and accepted it and you understand it, as much as anyone still living still can.")

Danny Gokey
"Tell Your Heart To Beat Again"

You're shattered
Like you've never been before
The life you knew
In a thousand pieces on the floor
And words fall short in times like these
When this world drives you to your knees
You think you're never gonna get back
To the you that used to be

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Beginning
Just let that word wash over you
It's alright now
Love's healing hands have pulled you through
So get back up, take step one
Leave the darkness, feel the sun
Cause your story's far from over
And your journey's just begun

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again

Let every heartbreak
And every scar
Be a picture that reminds you
Who has carried you this far
'Cause love sees farther than you ever could
In this moment heaven's working
Everything for your good

Tell your heart to beat again
Close your eyes and breathe it in
Let the shadows fall away
Step into the light of grace
Yesterday's a closing door
You don't live there anymore
Say goodbye to where you've been
And tell your heart to beat again
Your heart to beat again
Beat again

Oh, so tell your heart to beat again

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1763220 Throwing away the law books 2018-10-26T16:12:46Z 2018-10-26T18:26:42Z sad public 7 I loved my husband, heaven knows, but he was a hoarder.

By the time he was eighteen, Rob had moved eighteen times. My theory is that this trained him to understand that his home wasn't a place, it was his things. They were what was permanent. Therefore, he had to keep them permanently.

And he did.

When Rob was going to the University of Minnesota law school, he worked at the law library. One day, he discovered that the law library was discarding a ton of huge, heavy law books. Rob volunteered to take them, and the library said sure, they're yours. For free.

When Rob set up his law office, he proudly shelved them in floor-to-ceiling bookshelves that covered all the walls of his entire office. To him, they looked cool. They meant that he had made it. He was an attorney.

When he had to shut his office down, he decided to put them into storage. Remember, he is not allowed to get rid of anything. I am ashamed to tell you how many thousands of dollars he paid for storage--he had that storage unit for over a decade. The waste of money aggravated me so much--how much of that money could have gone for our daughters' college tuition instead? Finally, when he lost his job and the walls were closing in, I insisted that he couldn't rent storage anymore.

So the law books and all the contents of his law office came to live in our garage. Rob parked his car out on the street instead of keeping it in a garage as any sane Minnesotan would. And he had to clear the snow off of it and move it from one side of the street to another during snow emergencies. He did this uncomplainingly for year after year.

For years I nagged him to deal with all debris from the law practice. But he never did. There was another TV show to watch, another thing to do with the girls. He told me the books were valuable. "Fine," I said. "We can use the money. Let's sell them." But he could never figure out who might take them. He talked about advertising on Craigslist (do people shop for law libraries on Craigslist?) but never did. It was obviously crazy to advertise online for a national buyer: the books were so big and so heavy that the shipping costs would kill us. Once, when we were holding a garage sale, he put a sign on the towering pile of boxes of books: "Law Library Wall O'Books. $3,000.00."

As if anyone shopping at a garage sale might think, "Wow, a whole law library! I just happen to have $3,000.00 in my pocket, and I should snap that right up. What a bargain!

Then he got sick.

As he became weaker, he fretted about his possessions. And seeing how it was stressing him out, I made a difficult promise: I wouldn't throw anything of his away without his permission.

Now he is gone. I haven't started dealing with the law office files (an attorney I know has promised to help with that, but his help has been delayed because his own father has died and he's still dealing with that estate).

But I have started dealing with the law books.

I tried. I called the Minnesota Women's Prison Book Project, asking if they could use them as a donation. Perhaps women who are working on their appeals might consult them? No. Too big. Too heavy. No space to put them. And (this is obvious to anyone who has worked in the law the last quarter century, and it's why the law library was throwing them away in the first place) attorneys use Westlaw and Lexis now. They don't look up statutes in moldering law books.

I called a friend of mine who works at Thomson Reuters, the successor to Westlaw, the original publisher to ask what value the books might have. "None," was his blunt answer. "Recycle them."

So I have been going out to the garage every couple of weeks and emptying one box at a time, ripping off the rotting leather covers and throwing the stripped books into the dumpster. It's painful. It's galling (I'm an author. I write books. Destroying them is an appalling thing to have to do.) And I can hear Rob screaming in the back of my mind, "Noooooooo! You can't do this to those books." (Which really means, "You can't do this to me!")

But Rob is gone.

The leatherbound books are large and crumbling. The oldest ones are from the end of the 19th century.

They are stamped inside a stamp for the U of MN library, and also with a name: "William W. Pye."

I did some online research and discovered he was an attorney and bank president who lived from 1870-1965 in Northfield, Minnesota.

(And now I'm feeling guilty again like I should have offered them to the Northfield library. They have a room there named after him). Presumably, after he died, they were donated to the U of MN law library. I wonder if his wife wanted them out of her house, too.

I threw away three boxes this morning, which was all I could bear to do at once.

I thought of Rob. I thought of William W. Pye. I went into the house and washed the skins flakes of cows that died 120 years ago off my hands. I managed not to cry.

This is so damned hard.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1762927 A new acquisition 2018-10-06T13:20:30Z 2018-10-06T13:23:12Z public 3 Sometimes when I grief-shop, I make excellent choices.

Buy it here.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1762616 Cleaning out the freezer 2018-10-04T03:18:04Z 2018-11-18T16:45:33Z grieving public 5 Today, I threw away the turkey dinner in the freezer.

We got our Thanksgiving dinner for four years from Open Arms of Minnesota, a service which offers free food to families dealing with life-threatening illness. They offer their clients a full Thanksgiving dinner each year. You can choose whether to have it delivered fully cooked or frozen so you can cook it yourself.

Rob's family, knowing he was gravely ill, had flown in from all over the country to see him. Our plan was to spend Thanksgiving dinner at his brother's and to cook the dinner Open Arms had given to us sometime later, just for Rob, me and the girls. A nice celebratory dinner for just the four of us.

But on Thanksgiving Day, Rob woke up that morning with a fever of 103. I called his brother's, hoping that at least my girls could go over there while we were in the emergency room, so they could see their grandma who had flown in from California. Nope. One out of town relative who'd flown in had a terrible cold, and we couldn't risk the girls being exposed to something they could give their daddy.

So I arranged for the girls to go spend Thanksgiving at my sister's celebration instead, and then took Rob to the Emergency Room. We spent the entire sad day in the ER, getting hungrier and hungrier (all the restaurants around the hospital were closed by the holiday), tormented by the pictures of the family gatherings and feasts that our families texted to us.

Rob was admitted to the hospital hours later. His mom and brother delivered Thanksgiving leftovers to him later that evening.

He never went home again.

That frozen turkey and pumpkin pie and all the rest of the fixings have sat in my freezer ever since. At first, when we hoped he would be home soon, we thought, "We can cook it for Christmas." When he died in January, I thought, well, I'd get around to cooking it eventually. It'll keep okay in the freezer. Even though my girls were gone, Fiona to a new apartment, and Delia back to college. Fiona said she'd take it and cook it for her roommates, but every time I asked her about it, she put me off. Too busy. About to move.

Finally, I took everything out of the freezer tonight and threw it out, because I just couldn't bear to look at it any longer. And I cried my eyes out for about a half hour. All that kindness, all that hope, all that celebration, all that tradition. Gone into the garbage, leaving just me, alone and with a broken heart behind.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1762533 Dream 2018-09-20T03:35:49Z 2018-09-20T03:37:03Z public 2 Just before my alarm went off: I dreamed I was standing in the middle of the street, looking down the block. It was dusk, and I saw people in costumes going door-to-door, trick-or-treating.

The sight made a terrible pain well up inside of me. I said aloud, "I'm so lonely. This is hurting me and my girls so much."

It was on Halloween last year that the doctor broke the news that what we'd seen on the PET scan was not Rob's lymphoma coming out of remission. It was a totally new cancer, leukemia, caused by the first chemo he'd undergone four years previously, and Rob now had perhaps two months to live. (He almost made it to three.) And then the doctor kindly left the room to give us some privacy so we could cry in each other's arms.

The dream plunged me deep into my grief all day, and it made me realize how much I'm dreading Halloween. I've already planned to take the death anniversary off work, in January. I think I need to make some cope ahead plans for Halloween, too.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1762109 Continuing to transition 2018-09-05T14:44:43Z 2018-09-05T17:24:27Z indescribable public 6 Me, to Fiona : "So, IF I started thinking about dating again, what sort of guy do you think—"
Fiona (adamantly): "No."
Me: "No, really, I just wondered—"
Fiona: "No. I'm not going there."
Me: "Fiona, this is purely theoretical. You're a mathematician, right? You can deal with the theoretical. Think of it like, um, pairing numbers."
Fiona: "I happen to dislike even numbers."

At which point, I cracked up and abandoned the conversation. No dating advice will be forthcoming from my daughter. (And it's really true. She likes odd numbers better than even numbers. She likes prime numbers best of all, bless her nerdy heart.)

In other news, I donated 460 books to the Friends of the Library yesterday. They were mystery hardbacks, a genre I hardly ever read (except for a few selected authors). Many of them Rob BOUGHT at the Friends of the Library book sales over the years (he would go at the end of the day and bring home grocery bags full of books that he'd gotten for $1 each--uncaring of my shrill complaints: "Where are we going to PUT them all?") I hope to consolidate three of the remaining bookcases into the open shelves, which would allow me to remove bookcases that are sitting in the archway between my living room and my dining room. Then I can go shopping for new furniture.

Rob loved his books so, so much, and I did, too, but the number that he collected was excessive. It is incredibly painful to get rid of some. And hopeful. I sent the Snapchat below to the girls, and Delia called me up to console me and tell me that she was proud of me. And I am, and yet...ugh. I slept badly last night.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1761795 Six months 2018-07-26T00:00:22Z 2018-07-26T00:03:09Z sad public 7 Today was one of those cry-my-makeup-off days that show up for no good reason. I woke up this morning haunted by images of Rob dying and kept breaking down into tears. I took the afternoon off.

I didn't understand until I looked at the calendar.

This is the last day of the sixth month. Tomorrow starts the second half of the year since Rob died.

I went home and hauled some of the ridiculous technology that Rob insisted on keeping out of the basement. I dropped several printers and DVD players and monitors off for recycling. Instead of going to work out at the Y as I'd originally planned, I had dinner at the Good Earth, and I'm waiting for the wine buzz to subside a bit before driving home.

Six months. I cannot believe it.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1761452 A cherished childhood memory--found! 2018-06-25T06:28:43Z 2018-06-25T06:32:38Z nostalgic public 3 Oh, my goodness. I found it: the recording of the retelling of Cinderella that was burned into my brain synapses in my childhood. We had the LP, and I listened to it probably hundreds of times. I remembered lots of it verbatim but I couldn't imagine where I could find a recording.

Here it is, and you can download it, and dozens of other recordings of children stories that were sold in the 50s and 60s. Did you listen to any of these?

Another expanded list.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1761247 Father's Day Then and Now 2018-06-17T05:03:22Z 2018-06-17T05:18:22Z public 1 This is such a typical picture of Rob: He's sitting at our dining room table reading something, with a daughter on his lap.

Specifically, it's Father's Day ten years ago: June 15, 2008. So it's a Father's Day card he's reading, and he's proudly wearing a shirt that the girls colored for him with fabric markers. The shirt reads "Dads Make the World Go Round."

Of course, he kept the shirt. He wore it often. Of course, I still have it, frayed around the collar.

Today is Father's Day, ten years later.

I think of the shirts you see sometimes for sale at resorts: "My Dad [or my parents] went to ______ and all I got was this lousy t-shirt."

My children's father is gone. Not to Vegas, not to Harry Potter's World at Universal Studios, not to New York City.

He's just gone.

And all I have (apologies to the girls, who so lovingly colored it) is this lousy t-shirt.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1760910 Tough night 2018-06-13T02:21:43Z 2018-06-13T02:21:43Z public 7 I can't read.

I can't settle down and do anything.

Didn't eat a proper dinner.

Just sort of wandering through my house like a ghost.

Except that I can't find his ghost.

This is so hard. Sometimes it's all I can do to keep breathing.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1760705 Lilacs 2018-05-15T13:01:22Z 2018-05-15T13:01:22Z public 2 Rob loved lilacs more than any other flowers, I think. He planted the bush in the backyard when we moved into the house, "because of course, you can't have a house without a lilac bush in the backyard." Fiona and I spread a small amount of his ashes around the base yesterday, just as the lilacs were beginning to bloom.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1760305 Our last portrait shoot: The Man in the Portrait 2018-05-11T00:05:48Z 2018-05-12T03:44:26Z public 11 ...as she stood before the canvas on which he was represented, and fixed his eyes upon herself,
she thought of his regard with a deeper sentiment of gratitude than it had ever raised before;
she remembered its warmth, and softened its impropriety of expression.

--Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

I realize that I never posted the last pictures we took for our family portrait. They were taken by a friend of the family and professional photographer, John Walsh, the night before Thanksgiving, November 2017. We had no way of knowing, but that was the very last night that Rob slept in his own bed. I took him to the Emergency Room the next day, Thanksgiving Day, for fever, and he was admitted that day. He never saw his home again. Many of you saw these pictures on our Christmas card.

The shoot was wonderful, and you can see what a happy, laughing time we had...but I knew in my heart what was coming. When Rob's individual portrait appeared on the photographer's monitor, I immediately burst into tears. I managed to choke out that it was because I so moved by it. Indeed, I loved it--but that wasn't it.

I was crying because I instantly knew it was going to be his obituary picture. And I was right.

Today, I thought of this treasured picture of Rob as I was listening to this song, from Austen's Pride, A New Musical of Pride and Prejudice. (Listen to this song here. The lyrics here are from the first minute and forty seconds. Listen to the whole thing: it's gorgeous.)

Who are you?
I thought I knew
The man in the portrait
You appear and seem to be
All the things that I refused to see
And you said you loved me.

Who are you?
Is it true
The man in the portrait
Is thoughtful and good?
If I knew then
What I know now
I might have understood
But that was then
Now I'm face to face
With you, the man in the portrait
In your gaze, I can see
The way you used to smile at me
And it says, you loved me.

I was open with the fact, I think, that Rob and I had our struggles, as happens of course in any marriage. It was very difficult particularly through the years of unemployment. But my respect for him grew so much as I watched him battle cancer, and somehow, this photograph captured something about him and made it visible for all: his nobility, and his suffering, and the love that shone out of him. The lines I've bolded above say it well. I told the photographer that I will treasure this photo for the rest of my life.

I cried a lot today.

photo credit John Walsh

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1760153 Clocks and time 2018-05-08T13:07:03Z 2018-05-08T13:07:03Z public 1 Rob and I each had our own alarm clocks, on our respective dressers. He kept his running about twenty minutes fast, which drove me nuts, but he insisted was necessary so he wouldn't be late for work (it didn't always work like that).

It took until today, over three months after he is gone, to correct it to the actual time.

But why do I have two alarm clocks anyway?

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1759933 My birthday was okay. Actually, it was great 2018-04-29T02:27:49Z 2018-04-29T04:22:33Z happy public 6 My family made sure I could have a good day today, and I was so grateful. The first time, the first year of special dates are hard, but the people who love me made it as easy as possible.

My mom, my sister Betsy, Fiona and I went out for brunch. We dropped Fiona at a friend's and then went home and spent a couple of hours clearing stuff out of the garage--my plan is to get Rob's car out of storage and use that, getting rid of my Honda. Haven't decided whether I am going to try to sell it or donate it yet. We filled up the garbage and recycling with lots of stuff (and found various things in boxes that made us laugh. I found his driver's license that expired in 2008, his physics notebook from 1975, and a holographic Olympics calendar from 2002. Rob kept EVERYTHING.)

I also found a Valentine card he had given to me years ago. It was almost like getting a birthday card from him.

Then, we met Fiona again at the Riverview Theater where we went to see The Greatest Showman. Fiona and I had seen it before and enjoyed ourselves hugely, and Mom and Betsy loved seeing it for the first time.

Finally, we drove to my sister's home on Lake Minnetonka, where we ate a delicious dinner. I drove Mom home, and then Fiona. Fiona and I sang The Greatest Showman soundtrack all the way to her apartment.

Yes. I had a good day. I am thankful.

Believe it or not, it's actually an improvement:

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1759678 My Weasley Clock has lost a hand 2018-03-08T04:31:58Z 2018-03-08T04:31:58Z public 7 We had a Weasley clock that Delia made and gave me for Christmas that hangs in our bedroom. Tonight, I took down Rob's clock hand, and I mounted and hung it under the clock.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1759362 Communication with bureaucrats 2018-03-04T02:53:35Z 2018-03-04T02:53:35Z irritated public 3 Someone tell me not to send this:

Dear Securian:

Here is the receipt you requested for the $4.06 I charged to my health savings account credit card. This was a payment made over the phone to _______ pharmacy, which was calling to explain that they had messed up my billing: something had been duplicated, so part was being reversed, and if I just paid $4.06, we would be square. I actually think it's kind of amazing, given everything that's been going on for me, that I thought to ask them to send me a receipt. Good thing they did, considering your warning that if I do not send you this documentation within 45 days, you will cancel my health savings card AND inform my employer. I find this threat oddly amusing, considering I have bigger problems. My husband is dead, just one of the twenty or so Explanation of Benefits statements I've recently received notes charges of $618,000 +, and they still haven't straightened out the billing mess. But anyway, here is your proof that I properly spent that $4.06 on something related to medical costs.

Choke on it.

 comments tag:dreamwidth.org,2009-05-01:139125:1758976 It's been a month 2018-02-26T13:39:13Z 2018-02-26T13:39:13Z sad public 10 It's been a month, and grief is still absolutely kicking my ass. The girls are struggling, too.

I'm still wearing black. Well, I put on a gray jacket today, and that feels almost...frivolous.

My email box is overflowing. If I haven't replied, know that I have over 700 unopened emails.

This is so goddamned hard.

 comments


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Painting living room
We were very impressed with his work , he was conscientious and had a very good work ethic. He actually ended up doing an extra few jobs not added on the original quote. I am disabled and he took his time to properly do little tasks I could not do. We were very, very impressed with this young man's attitude and if there were more young men like him the world would be a better place.
Homeowner Colin Wilson
Andrzej Wilk
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The judges are currently reviewing the shortlist and the winner will be announced soon. The judges of this year's competition are MyBuilder CEO and Founder Ryan Notz, the winner of last year's Job of the Year award Tim Taylor of T.I.M Building and Maintenance Ltd and property and interiors writer, Rachel Newcombe who runs Cosy Home Blog.
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subset: commoncrawl


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Our Garden ~ Fall Leaves & Blooms
Frost has brought color changes to our Viburnum leaves and the native Snakeroot plants are blooming.
Want more details about this and other DIY projects? Check out my blog post!Go
Have a question about this project?
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Join the conversation
2 of 5 comments
- Pat aka Queen of Thrifton Oct 12, 2012
Very pretty! I love fall colors.
- Barb Rosenon Oct 12, 2012
Thanks, Douglas & Pat! I love the colors of fall too, they are more muted but with a beauty all their own. Yes, the viburnums have berries, which have already been pretty much decimated by the birds.


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Hello – Welcome to WDEOD, a site full of Doris' photographs!
Its purpose is to share the shots she took in her 50+ years of travel. I'm trying to do a post a film – so one tour may have many posts.
To see what I've put up so far, use the menu (three lines up there ↑ if you are on a phone or tablet) to go to a place or a year.
The mounts are undated and have no annotations. Your guess is as good as mine.
Here are her photographs. Either scroll down the page to see the pictures or click on one to open lightbox and use its functions.
If you would like to see where Doris visited, select somewhere from this map or use the Category drop down


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Make or Break Time?
Most Sunday mornings we tune into CBS Sunday Morning, and watch right up to the sights and sounds of nature at the very end. Then we turn it off before the talking heads and pundits pontificate on Face The Nation (and the other Sunday round table shows).
This morning, right before they left us with that tranquil end to the show, they showed a promo for Face The Nation. When John Dickerson said, coming up, it's make or break time for the Republican healthcare bill, I turned to my husband and ranted, "What does that mean? Make or break time? Mitch McConnell owns the Senate. He can make or break anything any time he wants. If he wants to have a vote on the healthcare bill next week, he can. If he wants to have a vote a year from now, he can. He controls the Senate. This is a guy who stole a Supreme Court seat. He can do whatever the fuck he wants whenever the fuck he wants to."
And in response to my short, but intense outburst, my loving husband calmly said, "You had to get that out. Now, what do you want to eat for dinner this week?"
And with that, we set off to Trader Joe's.
But… Media: stop with this make or break time narrative. It's meaningless. There are no norms left in DC.
That's my post for today. I'll leave you with an image from Rocky Mountain National Park.
Freedom and Fake News
Anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows I'm not a big fan of the television news media. And by news, I mean legit news organizations, not the sly-as-a-fox-make-shit-up-to-brainwash-our-viewers-in-order-to-serve-our-oligarchic-agenda "news."
CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, PBS, BBC, etc., are all legit news. I may not like the way they present the news, um, I mean BREAK the news, since it's always BREAKING NEWS with fancy graphics, ominous scoring, and dramatic language—for Pete's sake, I'm watching the news, not a James Cameron movie—but they are legitimate.
I wish they'd stop trying to entertain me and just give me the facts.
Blow Out the Candles
Before the phone rings and my parents cackle-sing "Happy Birthday" into my ear then ask me what kind of cake or pastry I want for my birthday dessert, I wish to address our dear leader and make some birthday wishes of my own.
Dear leader,
It is an honor and privilege to turn another year older under your noble reign. May you transfer so much wealth from the poor to the rich that Putin needs to build more Russian banks to hold all the money. May the sick without healthcare not die on the sidewalks in front of your towers. May Mar-a-Lago always rise above sea level. May you detain and deport many Mexican rapists. May facts remain as elusive as your tax returns. May you find the 3 million people who voted illegally. May your faithful followers, especially the Sean Calamity Shamity asslickers, forever defend your cons, lies, vulgarity, indecency, bullying, and cruelty while whining about how victimized they are by liberals. May they always believe fake news and never wake up to the truth. May your every tee shot be a hole-in-one.
And most of all, when your time comes, may God show you more mercy and grace than you did for his children.
The phone's ringing.
So, dear leader, as you blow out the candles on the planet, let us eat cannoli cake.
Tone Deaf
Guns suck. People suck worse.
There something mentally unstable with people who worship guns. But okay, I suppose everyone's got a fetish. If guns are your thing, have it at. But don't act surprised when someone uses your fetish to murder innocent people.
To be clear: the madman who took aim at Republicans on a baseball field was pure evil. Plain and simple. And if he hadn't been killed, he deserved to die. (I'm not a knee-jerk bleeding heart against the death penalty. That said, any potential death penalty case should be clear cut with irrefutable, iron-clad evidence, such as with this madman in Alexandria. Innocent people have been put to death. See, contrary to radical right-wing popular belief, liberals are not monolithic. Link provided so you can look it up.)
We Are Not Enemies
Dear conservative friends and family,
I am not your enemy. And you are not my enemy. But you'd never know that from the information you receive. I have tuned into Fox. I have read Breitbart. The overwhelming message they send is that I, your friend and loved one, should be despised, ridiculed, and, yes, some even say eradicated.
Think about that.
No, really, think about it.
Turn off the TV or radio and get quiet with that thought.
Is your happiness really dependent upon my demise?
Real Fox News 2
I fucken ??❤ Vicente.
The Dehumanization Begins
Eric Trump is an entitled douchebag who has no idea he's talking about himself.
Last night on Sean Calamity Shamity's propaganda of lies show on the sly-as-a-fox "news" channel, he said Democrats in Washington are not even people. This is a blatant attempt to dehumanize and eventually make it easier to rationalize violence, or worse, extermination. We've been here before and we cannot allow corrosive hate like this to go unchallenged.
What he said is not only vile and disgusting, it is dangerous. It sends a signal to the brainwashed—or as I like to call them asswashed for having their heads so far up Sean Shamity's rectum—and mind-controlled flock that violence against your adversary is justified, because after all, they aren't human. His comment needs to be vehemently denounced by all decent human beings. Especially Republicans. Hello? Are there any decent ones still out there?
This is My Hometown
Thank you Mayor John Birkner Jr. and the Westwood Borough Council for hanging the pride flag on the borough hall. Reading about the flag raising at njersy.co/westwoodrainbow made me quite emotional. As a kid, I would have never imagined my mostly conservative hometown being so welcoming and inclusive to celebrate gay pride month. Of course back then I had no idea what gay pride was and the rainbow flag—what's that?
New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu's Speech On Removing Confederate Monuments
The historic record is clear, the Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis, and P.G.T. Beauregard statues were not erected just to honor these men, but as part of the movement which became known as The Cult of the Lost Cause. This 'cult' had one goal – through monuments and through other means – to rewrite history to hide the truth, which is that the Confederacy was on the wrong side of humanity. First erected over 166 years after the founding of our city and 19 years after the end of the Civil War, the monuments that we took down were meant to rebrand the history of our city and the ideals of a defeated Confederacy. It is self-evident that these men did not fight for the United States of America, They fought against it. They may have been warriors, but in this cause they were not patriots. These statues are not just stone and metal. They are not just innocent remembrances of a benign history. These monuments purposefully celebrate a fictional, sanitized Confederacy; ignoring the death, ignoring the enslavement, and the terror that it actually stood for.
After the Civil War, these statues were a part of that terrorism as much as a burning cross on someone's lawn; they were erected purposefully to send a strong message to all who walked in their shadows about who was still in charge in this city.


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Browsing: Brexit
Why only Jeremy Corbyn can credibly make a Speech of Hope for Brexit-broken Britain
Will post-Brexit Britain be an asset-stripped libertarian theme park purged of 'leftist brainwashing'?
Brexit going nowhere? Watch out for the stab-in-the-back narrative from zealots like Jacob Rees-Mogg
By Liam Young
Why Jeremy Corbyn is right to keep out of the Brexit mess created by the Conservative Party
Is Jeremy Corbyn betraying young people on Brexit? What colossal nonsense
By Mike Harding
Two fingers to you, Theresa May, and your squalid Brexit 'deal', from proud citizen of nowhere Mike Harding
Brexit crisis engulfing UK politics only goes to show you can't make soup out of an idea
Trump, Brexit and Tory Mayhem: is this a crucial turning point in British politics?
Look at Theresa May and her party, and just say no, before it's too late
May is unable to learn from history as she rushes towards a collision between illusion and reality.
The house that Brexit built is not a pretty sight
The new British future is already beginning to emerge out of the fog of government incompetence, lies and fading promises.
Post-Brexit: why Diane Abbott MP supports freedom of movement in Europe
The labour movement cannot accept living standards being lowered by Brexit and the attack on freedom of movement, and must stand to defend both.
The dirtiest, ugliest and most dishonest political campaign in British history
There is nothing good whatsoever about the decision that was taken on Thursday 23 June 2016 and the politics that made it possible.


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If you have never seen Trans-Siberian Orchestra live, youbrwon't want to miss this year's production! The Christmasbrrock sensation is descending on Dallas' American AirlinesbrCenter for two shows on December 22 at 3:30 and 8 p.m. for a Christmas spectacular of symphonic metal with anbrunforgettable light and laser show. The orchestra, which formedbrin 1996, has sold more than 10 million albums and has beenbrseen live by over 10 million people over the past 20 years. Trans-brSiberian Orchestra is considered one of the top 10 ticket-sellingbrbands of the new millennium. With a marriage of classical andbrrock sounds, the orchestra, which originally planned to playbrrock operas, has become known worldwide for their incrediblebrChristmas albums and live shows. This year's tour, The Ghosts ofbrChristmas Eve, promises to be phenomenal.
Founder of Trans-Siberian Orchestra Paul O'Neill says, "We havebrtwo stages with pyro, light and lasers on both sides of thebrarena, as well as in the crowd and the best sound we can find.brThere are no second-class seats at a Trans-Siberian Orchestrabrshow. I want people to walk out of our shows speechless and stillbrnot believing what they have seen was possible." At press time,brtickets were still available for both shows, ranging in price frombr$37.50 to $77.50, but who knows how long they will last? Act nowbrto make this Christmas season the most unforgettable one yet.
Date: December 22
Location: American Airlines Center


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A-Z of CATEGORIES
@ Forest Arts Centre
'Renowned for its high quality music provision and is now home to the Walsall Music Education Hub. Providing the rhythm of life to everything from jazz to samba from heavy metal to Indonesian folk music, Forest Arts Centre is the place to come to listen, learn and enjoy music.'
Listing Details
Hawbush Road, Leamore
Directory Statistics
Recent Additions
- + Chineke! OrchestraCategory: Community Orchestras and BandsCreated:
- * London Saxophone FestivalCategory: Instrumental FestivalsCreated:
- * Music at ThornhamCategory: Local Concert PromotersCreated:
- + East Norfolk Operatic SocietyCategory: Operatic and Dramatic SocietiesCreated:
- + Grimsby Bach ChoirCategory: Chamber ChoirsCreated:
- * Classical Minds Guitar FestivalCategory: Instrumental FestivalsCreated:
- + Felici OperaCategory: Opera CompaniesCreated:
- * Centre for Music and Science [Cambridge]Category: Music Research CentresCreated:
- * Voices FoundationCategory: Accessibility to MusicCreated:
- + Miskelly ChoraleCategory: Ladies ChoirsCreated:
- * Sheffield Folk Sessions FestivalCategory: Folk FestivalsCreated:
- * Glossop Jazz ClubCategory: Jazz ClubsCreated:
- ~ North of Ireland Bands' AssociationCategory: Music Associations and SocietiesCreated:
- @ St Mary's Sturminster NewtonCategory: ChurchesCreated:
- + Band of the Gloucestershire ConstabularyCategory: Brass and Silver BandsCreated:
- + Fife Strathspey & Reel SocietyCategory: Traditional Orchestras and BandsCreated:
- @ St John's Chapel ChichesterCategory: Historic Houses and BuildingsCreated:
- @ Scarr BandstandCategory: Parks and BandstandsCreated:
- = Jennifer PikeCategory: ViolinCreated:
- + The Bach PlayersCategory: Early Music EnsemblesCreated:
- + Treorchy Male ChoirCategory: Male Voice ChoirsCreated:
- + Esterhazy Singers of LondonCategory: Choral SocietiesCreated:
- + Felixstowe Musical TheatreCategory: Operatic and Dramatic SocietiesCreated:
- + Pro Nobis SingersCategory: Chamber ChoirsCreated:
- + English Piano TrioCategory: Piano TriosCreated:


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American Furniture posts gains despite trying times
Related Articles
- American expands its Broyhill gallery. // Furniture/Today;6/6/2005, Vol. 29 Issue 38, p36
Reports that American Furniture Co. has installed a 7,500-square-foot Broyhill Showcase Gallery in its 15,000-square-foot showroom in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
- Industry bouncing back after a depressing 2009. Epperson, Jerry // Furniture/Today;5/10/2010, Vol. 34 Issue 35, p21
The article presents the author's views related to the financial performance of the furniture industry. He states that there has been a decline of 22 percent in the furniture industry in the year 2009. He refers to the sales of upholstery which has rose in China. He also stated that the sales...
- American Furniture on track to rebuild plant by October. Evans, Gary // Furniture/Today;6/30/2008, Vol. 32 Issue 41, p2
The article reports on the reconstruction of an industrial plant by the American Furniture Manufacturing Inc. in Ecru, Mississippi after being destroyed by a serious fire on February 12, 2008. The completion is slated for October, and will allow the company to reunite production from temporary...
- American to rebound. Evans, Gary // Furniture/Today;2/18/2008, Vol. 32 Issue 24, p1
The article reports on plans by the Ecru, Mississippi-based promotional upholstery maker American Furniture to resume manufacturing operations in February 2008 after a fire incident on February 12. The fire has damaged a major portion of the building where major upholstery was made. The...
- American Furniture sues Washington. Evans, Gary // Furniture/Today;10/4/2004, Vol. 29 Issue 5, p1
Reports that promotional upholstery maker American Furniture Co. is asking a state court to issue a restraining order and preliminary injunction against former President Gerald Washington. Claims that Washington and others are violating a non-compete agreement signed when American was sold...
- American Furniture Hall of Fame creates lapel pins for honorees. // Furniture/Today;10/20/2008, Vol. 33 Issue 8, p27
The article reports on the American Furniture Hall of Fame Foundation's celebration of its 20th anniversary induction banquet in High Point, North Carolina in October 2008. The company will launch two custom-designed lapel pins to honor its inducted members and Hall of Fame nominees. According...
- Tietex lawsuit accuses American Furniture of copying Clarissa fabric. Andrews, Susan M. // Furniture/Today;6/19/2006, Vol. 30 Issue 40, p6
The article reports that Tietex Interiors (TI) company filed a lawsuit in federal court in Greensboro, North Carolina suing American Furniture Co. (AFC). TI claims that has made and sold furniture upholstered with unauthorized copies of TI copyrighted Clarissa fabric and has AFC has adopted the...
- American Furniture considering factory expansion. Evans, Gary // Furniture/Today;10/11/2004, Vol. 29 Issue 6, p64
Presents a corporate profile of American Furniture Co. Corporate history; Company operations; Management scheme; Products and services; Competitive advantage.
- OBJET. BULLA, TRACY // Home Accents Today;Dec2015, p30
The article offers brief information on several cocktail tables from various brands and companies including Arteriors, Phillips Collection, and Truex.


text: On the move: the latest East Midlands hires Gabor Antony People | September 11 2018 | Sam Metcalf Write a comment Lincoln-based Delta-Simons Environmental Consultants is expanding its Environmental Planning division with the addition of new technical service - Air Quality. The firm has hired an air quality manager, Gabor Antony. Antony brings over 10 years' experience in the areas of ambient air quality monitoring, dispersion modelling, environmental permit applications and project management. Damian Robinson, executive director of the Environmental Planning division, said: "We're very excited to have Gabor on board, his skill set wi... For the full story register now for free or login below... Login Email Address Password Forgotten your password? Remember Me Or Register here


text:
CHANDIGARH: After a long wait, the BJP high command today renominated its sitting MP Kirron Kher from the city for the Lok Sabha elections. The polling will be held on May 19.
MUMBAI: Sara Ali Khan is set to star in the modern version of 'Coolie No 1', the makers announced on Wednesday. There was speculation that the actor, who made her Bollywood debut with 2018's 'Kedarnath', would be playing the female lead opposite Varun Dhawan in the modern adaptation of the hit comedy.
Rifat Mohidin
Tribune News Service
Srinagar, March 27
Though the journey for these young actors has not been easy, their experience has been amazing.
Neerja is based on the life of Neerja Bhanot — a Chandigarh-born purser — who while saving the life of passengers during the hijack of Pan Am Flight 73 was shot dead in Karachi on September 5, 1986. Abrar played the role of Safrini, the main antagonist in the film.
"I lived in Kashmir till Class X and moved to Chennai and studied there after that. During my study years, I took part in school's fashion shows. This is how it all started," he said who lives in Mumbai at present.
Playing the role of a terrorist in the movie was difficult and required a lot of training and hard work. "The role was challenging. I had to learn Arabic and put on 10 kg for the movie," Abrar added.
He feels being a Kashmiri made no difference for him in the film industry. He said he receives a lot of appreciation for his role in the movie.
"People here have a lot of talent, but they need to come out and explore," Abrar said who has bagged a lead role in another movie.
Girls from the Valley are equally making their presence felt in the Bollywood. Zaira Wasim, 15, who hails from old Srinagar, landed a role in Aamir Khan's upcoming movie Dangal.
"Initially my family was reluctant to allow me to work in a movie, but then they agreed. My being in the movie means I am presenting Kashmir there and it was a dream to get a chance to work with such a big star," Zaira said, who studies in Class X at a missionary school in Srinagar.
She got the chance of working in Dangal through auditions that were held in Mumbai. After returning to the Valley, there was a bit of fear in her mind about society's reaction. However, she said she was happy after getting a lot of appreciation from her family, friends and neighbours.
"I am focusing on studies right now and in future if I get a better role, I will definitely do it. I learnt a lot while shooting for the movie," she said.
Fitoor, which is based on Charles Dickens novel Great Expectations and was shot in Kashmir, has featured many fresh faces from the Valley. Rayes Mohiuddin (30), who hails from Abhama, a village in south Kashmir, is playing the role of Aditya Roy Kapoor's brother Junaid in the movie.
For Rayes, it was his love for acting which made his dream come true and work with the Bollywood team.
"Belonging to a place where there is turmoil, it is a proud moment for me to represent Kashmir. It was a learning experience with all the professionals around. In Kashmir people don't get a platform to show their talent. For me, it was a dream come true," he said, who also reached in the pre-finale of reality show India's Got Talent. The other two from the Valley who have featured in the movie are Aijaz Rah, a local actor and singer, and Sheikh Abrar. In Fitoor, Sheikh has played the childhood role of Aditya Roy Kapoor.


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I'm a career art director/creative director. Most of my work has been done for the Coca-Cola Company, but I've worked on many other clients over the years.
My formative years were as an illustrator, but I don't draw or paint nearly as much these days. I have supervised photography and film shoots in Argentina, Australia, Barbados, Mexico, Grand Cayman Islands, Bahamas, Canada, New York, Los Angeles and nearly every other major city in the United States.
Current Residence: Atlanta, GA
Favourite genre of music: Classical or Celtic
Favourite photographer: Richard Avedon
Operating System: Mac
MP3 player of choice: iPod
Skin of choice: mine
Favourite cartoon character: Felix the Cat


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The Hike for Hospice is a nation-wide event that helps raise awareness and much-needed funds for hospice palliative care throughout Canada!
Funds raised through our Hike will help to ensure that more people in Orillia and our surrounding communities receive the care and support they wish for when experiencing illness, death and grief. 100% of the funds we raise will contribute directly to hospice palliative care services in our area.
This year, we hope to raise $30,000 in support of Hospice Palliative Care in our community.
Thank you for supporting Hospice Orillia & Mariposa House Hospice.
Couchiching Beach Park at Pavillion - 140 Canice St, Orillia, ON L3V 4H8
May 5, 2019 | Registration Start Time: 9:00 AM | Event Start Time: 10:00 AM
Click here to join us or to donate to one of our amazing Hikers:
Contact Information
Mandi May
(705) 325-0505


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Local pizza takeaways and restaurants in Topham Drive, Aintree. The best selection of pizzerias in Topham Drive, Aintree. Click on the links below to view menu and order pizza online.
|Pizza Hut
Aintree Racecourse Retail & Bus Pk, Topham Drive, Aintree, Liverpool, L9 5AL
|Rio Pizza
American Pizza Slice
Reemona Pizza
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Rate this selection of pizza takeaways in Topham Drive, Aintree - Liverpool


text: An oxidized, rectangular sterling silver backdrop provides the perfect base for appliqued sterling silverwork and a single turquoise stone in this lovely Navajo pendant, part of our new Million Dollar Drop collection. The piece showcases appliqued sterling silver dots in varying sizes, a single sterling silver cross, and one small turquoise stone set in a simple sterling silver bezel. 1 5/8″ long including bail x 3/4″ wide.


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The Platform
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Please use the form below to contact us. We look forward to working with you and will get back to you as soon as possible. All fields are required


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Top 5 Security Breaches 2015 More than 720 data breaches occurred this year, and the top five cyber attacks alone have left more than 193 million personal records open to fraud and identity theft, according to 10Fold Communications.
Take a look back at the Top 5 biggest breaches of the year 2015.
The toymaker suffered a major breach in late November, with hackers taking 4.8 million records, as well as a database of first names, genders and birthdays of more than 200,000 kids.The breach occurred on company servers. Customers who used the company's Learning Lodge app store and Kid Connect service were affected.
Hackers were able to retrieve adults' profile information, including names, email addresses and passwords. They also obtained secret questions and answers for password retrieval, I.P. addresses, mailing addresses and download histories. Vtech had not properly scrambled customer passwords in its database and had also stored customers' security questions and answers in plain text. Secure websites never store your chosen password in a readable format.(hash Table attack Link)
FBI breached
Hacker got access to a law enforcement portal used by police and federal agents to share intelligence, and book arrested suspects. The group, which goes by the name Crackas With Attitude (Link) . Hackers were able to exploit a vulnerability in the LEEP portal.
Donald Trump's hotels
A hack that targeted seven of Donald Trump's hotels, and lasted the whole year. Hackers snuck malware onto Trump systems. Credit card data, including security codes and card numbers. No final figure of how many people were affected.
Non-chip cards store cardholder data on a magnetic stripe, which can be trivially stolen by malware designed to infect point-of-sale devices. The data is then sold to thieves who can copy and re-encode it onto virtually anything else with a magnetic stripe and use the counterfeit cards to buy stolen merchandise from big box stores
Ashley Madison Data Breach
In July 2015, a group calling itself "The Impact Team" (Link)stole the user data of Ashley Madison.(a commercial website billed as enabling extramarital affairs) 37 million customer records. Bad MD5 hash implementation was the main reason behind this breach.
Three Database such as Users' entries in three checkbox lists. Users' email addresses. Credit card transaction information got hacked. Because of the site's policy of not deleting users' personal information, none of the accounts on the website need email verification for the profile to be created and even passwords were easy to hack.
Hacking Team Data Breach
Hacking Team is a Milan-based information technology company. 400GB of internal files including zero-day exploits the company planned to sell, source code, a list of its customers and emails. Hacker got the access to an engineer's PC while it was logged into the network.
According to the document, the flaw affects Flash Player 9 and later on Internet Explorer, Chrome, Firefox, and Safari. Trend Micro has analyzed the vulnerability and determined that it's caused by a use-after-free (UAF) issue in the ByteArray class. Analysis by Symantec has confirmed the existence of this vulnerability by replicating the proof-of-concept(Link) exploit on the most recent, fully patched version of Adobe Flash (22.214.171.124) with Internet Explorer. Successful exploitation could cause a crash and potentially allow an attacker to take control of the affected computer.
T-Mobile Hack
The credit agency suffered a breach in September, affecting as many as 15 million T-Mobile customers. Data, such as names, addresses, social security numbers, birth dates, and even passport numbers, may have been taken. Unauthorized access was an isolated incident over a limited period of time. It included access to a server that contained identifying information for some organizations and, primarily, personal information for individuals, including some current customers.
After this urgent steps taken by the organization are Ensuring web application firewalls are working as intended,Enhancing security of encryption keys, limiting authorized access to the server ,Engaging U.S. and international law enforcement and cyber crime authorities ,Increased monitoring of the affected servers and associated systems.