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Top 5 with Lisa Foiles: Top 5 with Lisa Foiles Returns
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Welcome back, Please keep the top five Friday with the Smosh people though. It is good to see another top five show on the Escapist. Hopefully there will be a top five movie related series as well.
Fuck yeah! Woo yeah I'm quite glad she's back! Also please let the door hit you in the ass on your way out smoosh or smosh guys!
Yay, and stuff...
So this means the Smosh stuff is going away, right? Cause I never really found those guys entertaining or funny. This, however, I am ecstatic to see return.
Welcome back!! Its great to get more quality stuff 'round here.
Really glad to see her make her glorious return!
Joy...one of the more meh shows of the great EC cull of 2011 has returned. Not to say I'm against it returning, will still gladly watch it, but as they go, I always found this show just lacked content. It was just a girl saying what she liked and didn't like, hardly riveting. I'm not a huge fan of no right answer, but at least their banter makes it interesting (at times). Oh well, more content on this site is always a good thing in the end. I'm just waiting for the next doomsday arcade.
I hope they put her on Mondays 'cause I see no reason to visit the site on Mondays!
It seems that way, they updated on fridays and last week saw no sign of them.
Lisa Foiles always entertained me so more Lisa is a good thing.
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay! Welcome back
Drinking beer, Devo on full blast on the stereo and now I see that Lisa Foiles will make her triumphant return after two years away. =D
To utterly miss-quote a certain cartoon character: 'Sometimes, the universe, she is showing how beautiful she really is..'
Welcome back! I always wondered where Lisa disappeared to... <Looks at video gallery> Wow, it's been two years? It's a good thing I've had Zero Punctuation and Unskippable to keep me coming back.
LRR is on Mondays, which means you are a terrible person. -3-
Yeah, its just to bad that is TOTALLY not continuing on another popular site.
LRR only counts when Kathleens on!
My life has meaning again, in easily quantifiable chunks of fives!
Nice nice nice
woo hoo!
I'm down for this
Heeeeeeeeellz yeah! I just wanted to add that.
When Lisa left The Escapist, I started following her on her site and it was fine for a while. But then I started seeing less of her and more of her friends and...well, I liked Lisa, not her friends (They're fine but ya know...) So yeah, I am glad she's back and we can see HER again each week. :D
Welcome back Lisa! It's good to have your quirky little nostalga fueled observations back.
As far as i can remember, and i have a terrible memory, it was definitely around that time if not for the same reason, i also seem to recall reading that there were issues with pay or something back then as well, might even be from her twitter now that i think. (To repeat: terrible memory-could be completely wrong ^.^)
OT WOOOO :D I gave up re-watching the old episodes because i could remember them too well (with terrible memory indicates how much i watched em) :( Glad to see somebody with a personality/pulse is back, unlike those other two automatons.
I was so bummed when it got axed after such a short run. Any top list will always be a matter of opinion, but her presentation was awesome. I think I shall go rewatch the old ones in preparation.
Wow. I guess I should watch her, based on this thread.
I never even watched a full episode before, because I thought she was one of those "look at my boobs while I try to be funny" people.
I'm...cautious. I'll admit, I wasn't a big fan, but I felt a lot of the community treated her like a straight up piece of shit(which may have been why she left?) and I'd hate for that to happen again. We're better than that. I hope.
It's about bloody time.
Finally, FINALLY, Lisa Foiles has come back to The Escapist!
well it's a good thing I still had my bookmark of Top5, which I regulary check, even though the show stopped 2 years ago. (god I'm pathetic)
Good to see her back, I even got a badge saying I have watched all her videos? Don't remember that or posting Facebook comments on over 100 videos?
Okay, we got Lisa Foiles back. Good. Very good.
Now to get more Unforgotten Realms and Doraleous and Associates! Then the site will be complete again.
Cool. Thanks for the "heads up". I really missed that show...
In any came, welcome back to the escapist, Lisa Foiles. We missed you.
Sorry but
Awesome! I find a lot of videos like this seem to come off as very contrived, with the references being very forced. I must say though I thoroughly enjoyed this series, welcome back!!
Lol I got a probation notice but the person directly below me didn't for the same thing. Oh right I didn't spew *heart heart* fan drivel. Here let me clarify, her show lacks content or discussion. Its a cute girl on screen throwing around videogames buzzwords for hits. I've seen more intelligent things come out of john riccitiello's mouth. No, I do not welcome her back.
Hey Lisa: are the Escapist actually going to pay you this time?
You don't have to watch you know. Its optional.
I'm going to assume that's the case. I stopped frequenting the site back when the whole "check is in the mail" debacle started and truth is, I missed it. I'm going to assume the return of this show means the management has decided that paying the talent actually matters so I can come back. At least until I hear otherwise.
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For years, I have been blogging on education–or at least trying to keep up with what's going on and sharing what I've learned. For years, I've had two education-oriented sites: this one and another at dremiller.com called Eleanore's Ramblings. I've tried Blogger.com blogs for critiques on children's books and other topics, and I found that I cannot maintain so many sites. So I basically stopped blogging altogether, except for a post here or there.
Part of stopping the blogging experience has had to do with a relatively mild depression, that came on me after various surgeries, each of which brought my activity level lower and lower. Part of the stop was because of the malfunctioning computers or internet services over the years. Another part was that I was simply overwhelmed by both the amount of information on education–good and bad–and government policies related to education that have been terribly depressing as well as irritating. For example, I had high hopes for Arne Duncan when he became Secretary of Education on President Obama's cabinet. I had gotten the idea that he had a solid education background, and knew what he was talking about. Later, I learned that his knowledge of education came from a summer study he did for a project at Yale(?) as an undergraduate, and that he had neither classroom nor educational experience related to education at all. That accounted for some of the irrational topics he has discussed and the less rational projects he has supported and developed.
After a while, with the government clearly knowing less about education than the average houseplant, I lost interest in almost everything having to do with education in the US–and then outside the US. So I realized that anything I had to say about education and learning would be of little or no help. Once I moved to the Caribbean where my husband had accepted a position in a medical school, and I saw the mess that education is here (on a smaller scale but just as ridiculous and very corrupt), I lost all interest in the subject I studied through hundreds of graduate education credits from good universities, and which yielded me both a Master of Arts in Education and a doctorate in Educational Psychology. The doctorate was not in the precise area I wanted to study, but that's another story…
Anyway, I lost the will to do much about writing about education in any form. Every now and then, I would get a serious energy surge, but truly, I had given up. After all, what do I have to say that is of any importance to teaching and learning? I am no longer an active teacher at any level–neither K-12 nor postsecondary level. I am months away from official retirement–although I've been unofficially retired for almost ten years. I used to keep up with new theories and techniques only to learn that the internet search engines–even the specialized educational and psychological databases–were concentrating on the past five years, and that special parameters needed to be entered to go back further. Over and over I saw "new" theories of learning or "new" methodologies that I had already cycled through at least twice in 40 years. And I began to wonder if there was a point to anything having to do with education.
Thus I came across the main reasons for my reluctance to blog on education and learning issues.
At one time, I was a computer programmer,working for major companies in the greater NYC area. I was good at what I did, and knew every quirk of different models in the same hardware series of mainframes by IBM and DEC. I knew that on one machine my code would have to have an extra line while on another that line would cause a program crash. I knew the best logic to use on various machines for the most efficient results–and in different programming languages. But over the years, although logic is still logic and works across all platforms, I got behind. I would put off learning the quirks of a newer version of a programming language for a few months, only to learn when I returned to it that I had to start over because the internal circuitry acted just a little differently, or the language had been "upgraded." Before long, I was so far behind that I could no longer keep up with all the changes because I would have to start too far back and work forward–or suffer the consequences of wondering what the heck a new command meant or how it could be most efficiently used.
The reason for the programming explanation is that I had started this particular blog when I understood how to design the page and add new "buttons" or specific functions. Each time I went to update the layout or change the format, I found I had less and less that I could do on my own, and I was unable to afford someone to help me create a site the way I wanted to.
Next, I wanted to add webinars to this site, but then reality hit. Who wants to look at an old lady giving brief lectures and slotting in a diagram or picture here and there? Besides, I hate make-up and the idea of having to return to putting it on every day was rather off-putting. What I really need is someone to help me put a good site together for very little money, and people who do that–inexpensively–are almost impossible to come by. As for finding someone here in the middle of the Caribbean–well, actually on the very edge of the Caribbean as our eastern-most coast borders on the Atlantic Ocean–is more difficult because the technology here is so far behind the times that I'll never get what I want no matter how much I pay. And money is still an issue.
I know there are "bundles" that I can buy and persons that I can hire from GoDaddy, where this site resides, even though I use WordPress. I know that there are old books available on getting WordPress up and running in stunning and useful ways, but technology does not wait for an old woman to read up and practice. Thus, it will take a while for me to get this site–as well as the sister professional site–up and running.
Why am I telling you all this? Because this site will take me forever to make it into what I want it to be–to be a place to learn and exchange information, to host small webinars, to discuss innovative and "tried and true" teaching methods and techniques, to argue about new theories… But I will continue to work on that even as I resume blogging on this site. I have made the decision to blog here once a week, on issues that relate not only to teachers, but also to parents/caregivers, education specialists in emotional and behavioral problems, various learning disabilities including reading problems, and, of course, autistic spectrum disorders. Although I want to do as much as possible for free, the maintenance of this site will not be inexpensive, and I will monitize it with relevant books and teaching aids, as well as specialized workshops for schools, organizations, and care-givers. Most of those will probably be on my professional site, http://www.emillereducation.com . However, I want to keep as much free information and resources on this site as possible.
Please take the time to send me your ideas for what you would like to hear me blog about, as well as what you would like to see on my professional site. All comments are welcome, even if I do not get back to you right away. Appropriate responses will be added to the comments section, whether entered directly or through the contact form.
Next week I'll be back with a blog post, as I will be writing here once a week. I haven't yet decided on a day, as I have been keeping myself very busy with new hobbies–I'm learning to draw and have progressed from sickly stick figures to decent drawing of subjects during the past five weeks; I finally got that DSLR camera I've been asking my husband to give me as a gift for the past ten or fifteen years and am learning to use both the camera and its assortment of lenses, all of which need thorough learning to use properly and keep the images from blurring because of my hand tremors; I have started a business specializing in foundation garments that help us older adults stand a little straighter or look a bit thinner, along with dietary supplements that can help memory, weight loss, diabetes control (along with prescribed medications, of course), and other general health issues. So I am keeping busy and finding myself with too few hours in the day to learn everything I want to explore, keep up with education news, keep up with news in general, and still find time to cook and eat.
So once a week–that will be the release parameter for this blog. But I will make it worth your while if you come back to read it. Nothing will be frivolous; techniques will be for immediate implementation (although for many suggestions you need to know that your own time will be needed to understand and implement it right, with the understanding that the first attempt will undoubtedly fail, or the set-up will take more time than you want to spend, etc.–nothing good comes without some effort), theories will be explained for their benefits to the classroom and when and why to use different elements, inclusion techniques for special education students will be discussed, guest bloggers will be invited to contribute their knowledge, etc.
Please come back toward the middle of next week (about May 13, 2015) to check what's new. I'll be waiting to hear from you…without you and your input, this little experiment in exchange of information regarding education and learning cannot succeed.
One last thing: Last month, I took my gajillionth class in writing at WordPress' Bloggers U. It was not a blogging course. It was a course to develop writing skills. My posts can be found at a page called Eleanore's Ramblings at http://www.dremiller.com and it will be dedicated to my progress in learning to write. If you need ideas for yourself or your students–at any grade or postsecondary level–this is a decent place to start. I will try to update any assignment where I failed to do so at the time with the prompt for the post as well as the "twist" that the facilitator wanted us to attempt. University level students who want to learn something about general writing are welcome to read the past twenty-something posts of assignments for that class as well as my continuing struggle with becoming a better writer. I originally started taking such classes–usually paying big bucks to take them (this one was free and is offered at least twice a year) to help me report sensitively on special education students and clients being tested for learning problems. Clinical reports are usually so–well, so clinical. They generally consist of nothing but dull, insensitive, and largely head-ache producing facts; I wanted mine to have meaning while providing the same information in a readable format that could be understood by anyone who needed to read them. Before taking a number of writing classes, I would struggle for hours writing a single progress report on a single student to express what I wanted to say in a way that was positively structured and readable, including the negative behaviors or regressions without making the child sound like a basket case or sociopath. Trying to write up 15 of such reports at the end of a week left me with little sleep, and the last reports were grumpier than I wanted them to be (so I never wrote the reports in the same order). The classes have helped me to be able to say what I need to say about a child with reasonable efficiency and speed, and without sounding like a police report. If you can't take a formal class in writing for one reason or another, at least take the time to look at the prompts and twists, and the resulting "story." You will also learn far more about me than I ever thought I could share honestly with people I don't know. But that was part of the deal about taking the course and learning to write better.
Until next time,
Dr. Ellie, Ed.D.

subset: commoncrawl


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CATIA Systems Engineering integrates complex product behaviour into the product definition, enabling a lifelike experience which predicts real world performance.
With CATIA Systems Engineering , system architects, product engineers, designers and technical experts define both technical and business aspects. The RFLP approach (Requirements, Functional, Logical and Physical Design) upholds a full traceability during product development and product introduction. This helps shortening the gap between requirements analysis and the choice of the right solution.
CATIA Dynamic Behavior Libraries
Modelica Lifelike Modeling Components
This world-leading suite of Modelica lifelike modeling components helps you to realistically model and simulate engineering domain scenarios, for example, powertrain, hydraulics, suspension and electrical scenarios. It's specifically designed for advanced modeling of complex multi-physical systems (for the automotive, aerospace, robotics, and energy sectors) and ensures that you design and validate better products faster than ever.
- Obtain multi-discipline, global, and realistic simulations while mastering the whole system definition and ensuring validation.
- Drastically improve the way complex interacting systems are engineered within the automotive, aerospace, robotics and energy industries.
- Significantly reduce unnecessary design errors, prototypes, and cost with lifelike modeling components.
- Simulate a broad spectrum of system engineering scenarios to design and validate better products.
- Enable high-fidelity modeling of complex integrated systems with compatible model libraries for many engineering fields.
- Easily build individual components or adapt existing components to match unique needs with open libraries.
Powertrain LibraryFocuses on powertrain car modeling with an emphasis on standard and planetary gears with losses and flexible driveline models. In addition, basic components are available in order to model the longitudinal dynamics of a whole car.
Smart Electric Drives LibraryAllows modeling and simulation of an entire electric drive system and is ideal for simulation of hybrid electrical vehicles and new alternative concepts with electrical auxiliaries. It also provides components for modelling any type of electrical drive including the energy storage device, power electronics, and motor models. The library has been developed primarily for modelling the electrical drives in automotive hybrid vehicles but can be applied to any other application.
Hydraulic LibraryContains the most important components for modeling hydraulic circuits. Coupling elements exist to connect hydraulic components with blocks of the blocks library and elements of the Modelica Mechanics Library.
Pneumatic LibraryHelps design pneumatic drive systems and provides multi-domain modeling with other Modelica Libraries. Users can model actuators, control system development, and deploy real-time capable models.
Vehicle Dynamics Library - CarsSimulates complete road vehicles with focus on chassis dynamics. The chassis models are based on multibody mechanics with detailed models of wheel suspensions and tires. The library also contains powerful road descriptions and driver models.
Vehicle Dynamics Library - TrucksSimulates complete road vehicles with focus on chassis dynamics. The chassis models are based on multibody mechanics with detailed models of wheel suspensions and tires. The library also contains powerful road descriptions and driver models.
Vehicle Dynamics Library - Car SuspensionsSimulates complete road vehicles with focus on chassis dynamics. The chassis models are based on multibody mechanics with detailed models of wheel suspensions and tires. The library also contains powerful road descriptions and driver models.
Vehicle Dynamics Library - DrivelinesHelps users to study the detailed interaction between the driveline and the chassis including wind-up, joint-bending, reaction forces and torques.
Dynamics Library - Active SafetyAllows users to develop active safety functions and is delivered with extended signal routing functionality and predefined functions for anti-lock brakes, yaw stability, traction control, etc.
Vehicle Dynamics Library - Parse File InterfaceThe Parsfile Converter utility is used for migrating model information from the Parsfile format into the Vehicle Dynamics Library.
Air Conditioning LibraryHas been adapted to the particular needs of automotive air conditioning systems. The library models are based on several years of experience and validation in advanced research applications. It provides easy-to-use templates for standard automotive cycle configurations and validated models for conventional and trans-critical A/C and refrigeration cycles. Common interfaces with all other Modelica libraries can be coupled with other libraries, for example, Powertrain, for total vehicle power studies or the Blocks library for control design.
Flexible Bodies LibraryThe mechanical behavior of Flexible Bodies, defined as homogeneous beams, can be used within a multi-body system (for example a leaf spring or a slider crank mechanism).
Thermal Power LibraryDynamic simulation of combined cycle power plants and similar processes, mostly for the Energy, Process & Utilities industry. Enabling systems engineers to build models of several real power plants, both standard boilers and also advanced power generation concepts, such as Combi-cycle power plants (nuclear, natural gas, coal, ...), Carbon capture technologies, dynamic balancing operation, dimensioning, start-stop sequences,.. and steam generation, distribution, load networks.
Hydro Power LibraryEffective tool for commissioning, testing of new control strategies and development and verification of new plant designs. It includes reservoir, water ways, penstock, surge tank, turbines, generator, synchronizer, circuit breaker, grid load...
Electric Power LibrarySimulation of electric power systems both in transient and steady-state mode. It provides components for modeling in AC three phase systems, AC one phase systems and DC systems, AC/DC motors, synchronous/asynchronous generators, semiconductors, switching, faults, inverters..
Liquid Cooling LibrarySimulation of cooling circuits with liquid media. This library has been developed in context of automotive engine cooling in collaboration with automotive OEMs.
Engine Dynamics LibrarySimulation of gas exchange dynamics and emissions in internal combustion engines. It includes engine components and subsystems, mean value combustion, turbocharging, EGR.


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Whitney Houston, the pop sensation who died on Saturday, was many things to many people. She was one of the first black women to achieve international superstardom, and raised awareness of two issues that she experienced personally: domestic violence and drug addiction.
Another side of Houston is less known: in 2003, she visited the Jewish state for what she called a "spiritual retreat."
Houston met with Israel's Prime Minister, and spent time with the controversial Black Hebrews, a group of nearly 2,000 black Americans who moved to Israel in the 1960s and believe they are descendants of the ten lost tribes.
For her "crime" of having visited Israel, anti-Israel activists conducted an unrelenting smear campaign against Houston. Yet Whitney's support held tight, in contrast to the chorus of musicians (Elvis Costello, the Pixies, Gil Scott-Heron, Carlos Santana, to name a few) who have succumbed to pressures and cancelled tour stops in Israel.
Houston will long be remembered as a friend of the Jewish state. While in Israel, she said: "I've never felt like this in any other country. I feel at home."
with thanks to Yvette Alt Miller


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Justin vs. Rosacea
Acne rosacea
Last reviewed: October 22, 2011.
Rosacea is a chronic skin condition that makes your face turn red and may cause swelling and skin sores that look like acne.
Rosacea is a harmless condition, but it may cause you to be self-conscious or embarrassed. The cause is not known. You may be more likely to have this if you are
Rosacea involves swelling of the blood vessels just under the skin. It may be associated with other skin disorders (acne vulgaris, seborrhea) or eye disorders (blepharitis, keratitis).
Your health care provider can usually diagnose rosacea by performing a physical exam and asking questions about your medical history.
There is no known cure for rosacea.
Your doctor will help you identify the things that make your symptoms worse. These are called triggers. Avoiding your triggers may help you prevent or reduce flare-ups.
Here are some steps that may help ease or prevent symptoms:
Triggers vary from person to person. Other triggers may include wind, hot baths, cold weather, specific skin products, exercise, or other factors.
In severe cases, laser surgery may help reduce the redness. Surgery to remove some swollen nose tissue may also improve your appearance.
Rosacea is a harmless condition, but it may cause you to be self-conscious or embarrassed. It may be a long-term (chronic) problem. It cannot be cured, but may be controlled with treatment.
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Justin B. Terry-Smith, M.P.H., may be one of the most public African Americans living with HIV: He has his own website, and he's even on YouTube. He is a noted HIV and gay civil rights activist and the creator of "Justin's HIV Journal," a popular blog in which he shares his trials and tribulations of living with HIV. A U.S. Air Force veteran, Justin resides in Laurel, Maryland, with his husband, Dr. Philip Terry-Smith, and their son, Lundyn. Presently, Justin is working toward earning his doctorate in public health. He welcomes your questions.
(Photo credit: Don Harris)
More About Justin:
Read TheBody.com's Interview With Justin
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The opinions expressed by TheBody.com's bloggers are entirely their own, and do not necessarily reflect the views of TheBody.com itself.


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Who do you select as Public Officials of the Year?
Each year, we honor 8 to 10 state and local government officials. The winners can be elected officials, appointed officials or career government workers in the United States. Winners often are selected because they've developed an innovative policy, taken a courageous stand or solved a long-standing problem. We're looking for the best governor, the best mayor or the best municipal sewer manager in the country.
Can I nominate someone who doesn't work in state or local government?
You are welcome to submit someone who isn't a current state or local official, but who is doing exceptional work with state or local governments. For example, we once honored the federal government's homelessness czar, who was working intimately with mayors around the country. Involvement with state and local government is a requirement for any nominee.
Can I nominate a coworker or boss?
It is very common and perfectly acceptable to nominate a work colleague or boss. You can even nominate your mother -- or yourself.
What are you looking for in the 600-word essay?
We'd like to know what distinguishes your nominee from his or her counterparts around the country. What has the nominee done in office that makes him or her a model for other public officials to follow? It's fine to describe someone as a hard worker or a kind person, but there are thousands of hard workers and kind people around the country. It's also fine to list the other awards your nominee has received, but it's better if you can tell a compelling story about the nominee's achievements. We need to know what your nominee has done that is unique or highly unusual -- what makes him or her one of the very best people working for any state, city or county in the United States.
Who should I submit as references?
We're looking for people who have worked with the nominee or are familiar with his or her professional accomplishments. The references are people we might call if we're interested in the nominee and want to find out more. One way to think about it: If the nominee was applying for a new job, who would he or she be likely to list as references? Those are also the people who would make good references for the nomination.
What should I put in the additional comments section of the nomination form?
That section is for any information you have that you thought was important, but didn't fit into one of the other sections. If you leave it blank, we won't hold it against your nominee.
Did you get my nomination?
Your message has been received if, after sending your nomination, you get a message that says, "Thank you for submitting!" You're also welcome to e-mail Elizabeth Daigneau at edaigneau [at] governing.com to confirm that the nomination was received.
When will I find out if my nominee won?
We typically announce the winners in a late October press release that will be posted on www.governing.com. The winners will be profiled in the November issue of Governing magazine.


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Three Dodgers and four Angels filed for arbitration Tuesday, a procedural move that allows the players to exchange salary figures with their teams beginning Friday.
If the two sides can't reach an agreement, their cases will go to arbitration hearings some time between Feb. 1 and Feb. 21. This is rare, however. None of the 133 players who filed for arbitration last year had a hearing.
Pitchers Clayton Kershaw and Kenley Jansen, and catcher A.J. Ellis were the last remaining arbitration-eligible players on the Dodgers' 40-man roster. Kershaw earned a base salary of $11 million last season and won the National League Cy Young Award. Ellis made $2 million last year, his first season of arbitration eligibility. Jansen wasn't eligible for arbitration last year and had his contract renewed for $512,000.
The four Angels who filed were third baseman David Freese and pitchers Ernesto Frieri, Kevin Jepsen and Fernando Salas. Only Salas and Frieri are arbitration-eligible for the first time.
Frieri will likely command a sizable raise from the $530,000 he earned in 2013 after closing all season (37 saves) for the first time in his career.
The Angels also announced their list of 19 non-roster invitees to spring training, which will begin Feb. 13 in Tempe, Arizona.
Left-handed pitcher Hunter Green, the team's first-round draft pick last year, headlines the group. He'll be joined by pitchers Yeiper Castillo, Jarrett Grube, Wade LeBlanc, Michael Morin, Mark Mulder, Clay Rapada, Mark Sappington and Justin Thomas; catchers Jett Bandy and Luis Martinez; infielders Kaleb Cowart, C.J. Cron, Taylor Lindsey, Shawn O'Malley, Eric Stamets and Alex Yarbrough, and outfielders Zach Borenstein and Matt Long.
Mulder, who won 103 games from 2000-08, came out of retirement to attempt a comeback with the Angels on a minor-league contract.


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FOX Business: Capitalism Lives Here
Stocks jumped on Monday as traders responded to thawing in U.S. debt talks that appeared stalled as recently as late last week.
Continue Reading Below
Today's Markets
As of 3:15 p.m. ET, the Dow Jones Industrial Average climbed 71.4 points, or 0.54%, to 13206, the S&P 500 rose 12 points, or 0.85%, to 1426 and the Nasdaq Composite gained 26.3 points, or 0.89%, to 2998.
Trading desks remained somewhat fixated on talks to avert the fiscal cliff that is looming just weeks away. Without a deal, the world's biggest economy is set to be pounded by painful spending cuts and tax increases.
As of late last week, a deal seemed far out of reach, with Democrats and Republicans continuing to lob criticism at one another. However, a source close to House of Representatives Speaker John Boehner told FOX Business there was a framework under discussion that included $1 trillion in spending cuts and $1 trillion in new revenue. A source also said President Barack Obama and Speaker Boehner were meeting at the White House for further discussions.
Apple (NASDAQ:AAPL) was another focus on Monday after Citigroup cut its rating on the tech titan to neutral from buy. It also cut its price target by $100 to $575. Morgan Stanley offered a differing view, with its analysts saying Sunday "despite concerns to the contrary, iPhone and iPad demand remain strong." The investment bank has Apple rated as overweight with a price target of $714.
Since the company's market capitalization is nearly half a trillion dollars, big movements tend to impact the broader markets, especially the technology-heavy Nasdaq.
Also on the corporate front, Sprint (NYSE:S) said it will acquire a 100% stake in Clearwire (NASDAQ:CLRW) for $2.2 billion. The deal values the company at roughly $10 billion, including debt.
The economic calendar was fairly light on the day. The New York Federal Reserve said manufacturing in the Empire State region contracted at a faster pace in December than it did the month prior. The gauge came in at -8.1, down from -5.22, and considerably weaker than the -1 economists expected.
Energy futures were mixed. The benchmark crude contract rose 47 cents, or 0.54%, to $87.20 a barrel. Wholesale New York Harbor gasoline was down 0.28% to $2.655 a gallon. In metals, gold drifted higher by $1.20, or 0.07%, to $1,698 a troy ounce.
Foreign Markets
The Euro Stoxx 50 fell 0.1% to 2628, the English FTSE 100 slumped 0.16% to 5912 and the German DAX rose 0.11% to 7605.
In Asia, the Japanese Nikkei 225 rallied 0.94% to 9829 and the Chinese Hang Seng tilted lower by 0.41% to 22514.
Rich Edson contributed reporting from Washington, D.C.


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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
What Could Be Scarier Than Ghosts And Ghouls?
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The Biter, Bit
Nothing too major, just the odd one-liner here and there. I think it's perfectly legitimate, believing that the gift of humour is a blessing upon humanity, to be freely distributed wherever people gather in need of entertainment.
It's in that spirit that I'd like to wish for the immediate death-by-skullfucking of whichever one of you bastards ripped off my "Cocaine Users Are Getting Younger" post, slapped your name on it and submitted it to Viz.
I hope that "Star Letter" award brings you ill-luck, and that whatever you buy with your fraudulently gained £10 turns to ashes before your eyes, you stoat-throttling cutpurse, you.
Honestly, I laboured for minutes over that post. Minutes.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The Booker Prize For Bummery
Bumfoolery with the bonus tunnel, if you know what I mean.
He notes that both Beckett and Joyce displayed such posterior-fixated perversions - he further implicates D.H. Lawrence, Norman Mailer, Philip Roth, John Updike and V.S. Naipaul.Indeed, it is not only the literary lion who exhibits such depravity - I myself am nuts-deep in a Yorkshire Terrier even as I type.
What could be the explanation for this? That with heavenly gifts come demonic desires?
P.S. You'll notice Amis doesn't include himself in that list, largely because he's been so far up his own arse for the last decade that he's in danger of winking out of existence.
Friday, October 26, 2007
Night Of The Living Dorks
So, what happens now?
On Iran's nuclear ambitions, my predictions are worthless. What I know of enriched uranium could be written on a piece of paper small enough to be swallowed and washed down with a glass of water.
Of our domestic hawks, however, I know far more than any sane man would wish to. One would hope that recent events have been instructive, but a quick click through any American newspaper's website indicates otherwise.
All those long years of dusty academia studying the Western way of warfare have so far proven pointless, so now seems as good a time as any to make use of my education. In guessing what comes next, let's reminisce about how this went the last time, to see if any useful lessons can be drawn.
As far as I can see, most societies have their share of carnivorous undead freaks whose unsleeping, implacable rage demands constant sacrifice at the bloody altar of daemonic slaughter. This Satanic urge is generally kept in check by the population's longing for a quiet life and the pious prayer of our pacifist minority, thus ensuring an uneasy calm.
Most of the time, we let these unholy troglodytes rant and rave in the darkness, feeding on each other's brains, snarling and slouching loincloth-clad around crypts filled with the noisome stench of their sick corruption.
Every now and then, when the ululating shrieks of these night-creeping fiends become too loud to ignore, we toss them a carcass, letting them gorge themselves on a Grenada or feast upon a Falklands.
But in exceptional times - recent ones, for instance - they slip their chains and come marauding amongst us, ravening through our gardens, banging on our doors and scratching at our windows, pleading for us to let them in.
And here's the thing - even in dire straits, these desperate, gibbering ghouls can only gain admittance if we invite them of our own free will. Mindful of old campfire tales, we ignore their mewling, slobbering supplications, and clasp our crucifixes tighter to our chests.
Within our warm abodes, however, are always those whose minds are weak. Those who are susceptible to suggestion, who secretly yearn to feel the cold, hard breath of the beast upon their necks, to submit to that dark embrace and give themselves up to the sharp pang of razor fangs.
"Let them in," these deluded souls mutter, entranced, moving as one to remove the bolts and unslip the locks. "They want to help us... they want to keep us safe and bring freedom and human rights to all..."
"Jesus Christ, NO!" shouts the lone voice of sanity, "Those flesh-eating undead fucks will tear us all to shreds and feast on our entrails!"
Yet already it's too late - the doors are flung wide, and the unholy pack sweep inside baying in animal triumph, drunken and frenzied with blood-crazed greed to wreak swift and terrible carnage. Once over the threshold, no sacred symbol or silver bullet can repel the savage fury of the damned.
That's how it went last time, at any rate.
Which leaves us with one question - at the fateful moment, when the moon is full and we hear once more the skitter of claws at the windows, will we calm the gullible and the easily-led amongst us?
Will we hold them by the shoulders and shake sense into them, imploring them to gaze into the beast's fiery red eyes to see the smouldering hatred within?
If you asked me to guess, I'd say probably not. Most likely we'll go on a march or two, then write a jolly stiff letter to our Members of Parliament.
Time will tell, I suppose, but we must bear one thing in mind - however the confrontation between Iran and the West pans out, we must remain calm and resist the urge to hyperbole and hysteria.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
The Curse Of Celebrity
Now, as her final moments are once more strewn across the pages of the scum press, we learn of her heart-wrenching final words...
"Princess Diana repeated the words "oh, my God" as she lay hurt in car wreckage while photographers took pictures..."
A sad scene indeed, one made all the sadder for her needless and wilful blasphemy - a slight that the Lord will not quickly forgive as He closes His celestial Ears to her shrieks for mercy from the Lake of Fire.
While I shed a solitary tear for the red-hot poker inflicted back-door tortures that the Princess of Hearts is surely experiencing, I must harden my resolve and recall that the Lord laid down His Laws expressly forbidding this type of sacrilege.
I understand that being crushed in a high-speed car accident is probably quite stressful, but that is no excuse for disobedience. What if we allowed everyone to utter such vile oaths in times of strife?
If you can't do the time (eternity), don't do the crime (mild cursing), that's what I say.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Mister Shit, Meet Mister Fan
Monday, October 22, 2007
We Shall Fight Them On The Buses
First, the bus to work - full of School-Troopers and Pensio-Nazis, demanding unquestioning obedience to their deranged doctrines by ringing the bell for every stop and barking orders at the driver. The journey took forever thanks to their implacable hatred.
Getting off the bus, I found the city centre thronged with Pedestrianazis, every one of them driven by an unshakeable ideological determination to stand chatting in large groups on the pavement.
Then I get to work, and my Co-workerfascists had already eradicated the cooked breakfasts, and the Canteennazis were chemically sterilising the floors and surfaces.
Not only that, but every one of the tables had been annexed to provide lebensraum for the Greater Department of Accounts, and I was forced to march downstairs to my desk to eat the bitter cereal of the oppressed.
Well, the time for such appeasement is over. Tomorrow morning, I'm going to work armed with a bloody big stick, the better to batter any fascists who try to crush my right to a peaceful bacon roll.
After all, who could object? Once we're agreed that these people are fascists, the only conceivable response is to attack them with everything we have. Our granddads could tell us what happened to their breakfasts the last time Britain tried to mollify totalitarians.
I say we stop these little Hitlers at their early-morning Munich.
Oh, I know that some of you might quibble that not all of these people are actual, literal Nazis, but then, neither were the Germans in 1938 and look where our weakness got us then. Others might make an ill-informed judgement that at an all-out assault on evil may actually be counter-productive, illogical and stupid.
The objectively pro-fascist amongst you might even say that I should explore other options, such as getting to work earlier. I say that you are ignoring the hard-learned lessons of history.
Well, the time has come to decide which side you are on. Would you rather side with the forces of freedom, or cravenly lick the boots of totalitarians?
Consider well, for if we allow the cowards and appeasers among us to win the day, we face a breakfast of darkness that will last until lunchtime.
Thanks and apologies to the (NSFW) B3TA Photoshopper whose hard work I have shamelessly nicked.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Vote Genghis For Better Public Services!
I've run a couple of quick Google searches, and I can't find a single major contender for the presidency or the office of the Prime Minister in the last five years who's had anything good to say about peace.
Oh, don't get me wrong - they've all got plenty to say about peace in the Middle East, by which they generally mean war. One and all eulogise peace of mind, which is of course to be gained through more war.
But of peace in the abstract, as an inherently good thing in itself, I can't find a squeak.
I don't mean peace as in Peace, Man, let's all hold hands and sing "We Are The World". I mean peace as the desired state of humanity, as the reason why our Granddads faced the machine guns and won.
Peace as an ideal that should be aspired to, not as some Hippy acid-trip to be mocked by desk-bound, arse-scratching armchair warriors.
I'm afraid that the reason that we don't hear such things from politicians is that the word itself is electoral poison, and any candidates giving such a speech would find their campaign plummeting towards the earth, riddled with rhetorical bullet holes.
I think it's debatable whether a candidate would choose to deliver a speech in praise of peace over a tribute to the "misguided" torturers of Abu Ghraib.
In America and the UK, all four major parties are pro-war in the broad sense - if the cry goes up that Wherethefuckistan needs to be blasted with hi-tech whizzbang until it's civilised to our liking, voters had better look elsewhere for dissenting voices.
I worry that, over the last thirty years or so, we've accepted war as our natural state, rather than as a temporary exception. I'm concerned that we've trained a generation of journalists, political activists and citizens to see the world as a perpetual threat that must be constantly bombed into submission.
Who knows, perhaps I'm wrong - maybe Obama or Cameron has a few nice words for the concept.
For now, stray visitors from blogs run by shitheads can shout booga-booga-booga! about the Iranians in comments. It seems to be what the internet is for, after all.
Re-Post - Those BBC Cuts, Accusations Of Bias And The Tory Shitheads Wanking Over Them
An independent study group has heavily criticised the BBC for what it calls "Anti-English bias" in its coverage of the 2006 football World Cup
Media Bias Watch, a privately funded organisation dedicated to scrutinising the Corporation, cited numerous instances in which the national team was unfairly denigrated, while the faults of other nations were glossed over.
"Time and time again, the BBC's commentators referred to England's performances as 'lacklustre', 'workmanlike' and 'half-hearted'," said Sir Richard Starke-Staring, Chairman of the group. "And yet they had nothing but praise for teams such as Italy, Brazil and Germany."
"But where was the praise for England's triumphant defeat of Trinidad and Tobago?"
"It is precisely this kind of contempt for Englishness and pandering to foreign nations that exposes the Corporation's fundamental lack of trustworthiness."
As for the treatment of the U.S.A. national team, the report states that the commentators spilled over into overt anti-American hatred - Gary Lineker was heard to state that "the Americans aren't very keen on football - sorry, soccer," and pundits Alan Hansen and Peter Schmeichel both laughed at the prospect of an American triumph in the competition.
"Would they have laughed at the suggestion that Brazil might win the trophy?" asks the report.
Related articles:
William Rees-Mogg - Why the BBC needs to be defrocked and defenestrated, p22
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Met Denies Accusations of Fakery
BBC News, 17th October 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Break A Leg
While I appreciate the intent to bring culture to the masses, I can state that, having worked in Edinburgh's premier booze-cruise nightspot, the area already possesses a burgeoning programme of free entertainment.
Why, on any given night one can easily find interpretive dance troupes sashaying up and down the road, clad in outlandish attire for the amusement of taxi drivers who witness their abilities at close quarters as the participants bounce gaily off their car bonnets.
Fridays and Saturdays are a particular joy for those of a historical bent, as re-enactors can be found staging performances of the Battle of Agincourt from Henry V through the medium of glass.
And fans of the erotic and scatological arts will be delighted by the nightly bacchanalia, in which a broad selection of amateur enthusiasts publicly engage in the kind of displays that would redden the cheeks of a Bangkok ladyboy.
As a purist of the performing arts, though, I'm most taken by the operatic works commonly heard in the small hours - while the performers vary in quality and vocal range, it's the sheer unpredictability that amazes.
I recall finishing work one night at 2.30 am to be confronted with a talented young soloist, who stunned me by launching into the following aria...
"Awright mate, goan geez a fag/
Just a fag, mate, I'll gie ye twenty pence for it/
And that...
C'mon, then cunt/
Just one fag, it'll no kill ye/
Geez a fag, ya prick/
Or you're gettin' slashed."
Truly, a virtuoso recital.
So, while I appreciate this plan to boost the performing arts on the city's streets, I can't see how they can top our present embarrassment of riches.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Monday Morning Countdown Conundrum
£25 million* for the best answer...
Saturday, October 13, 2007
In Praise Of Scottish Brainpower
Pictured right is Celtic and Scotland midfielder Scott Brown - as fine an example of Scottish skill and technique as could be found.
Last season, he played for Edinburgh club Hibernian, under manager-cum-Eurotrash-playboy John Collins.
For reasons known only to themselves, there was a rebellion amongst the players, and a group of them visited Hibs owner Tom Farmer at his house to demand that the manager Collins be removed.
Everything was sorted out, but a week later Scott Brown was interviewed by a BBC reporter...
BBC Reporter: Scott Brown, were you one of the players that visited (Hibs Owner) Tom Farmer's house?
Scott Brown: I don't know.
Heartfelt tribute to the geniuses of the Scottish team - you have done us all proud, despite your mental impairments.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Defend Western Civilisation From Jihadism!
Just last night, I opened a can of Alphabetti Spaghetti for dinner, and within two minutes I was able to form Jihadist slogans such as DEF TO THE INFIDEL, I LUV DEF MOR THN LIFE and OSAMA IS NICE.
Disgracefully, I was still able to write HITLER IZ SEXY if I used an N on its side for an S, thus demonstrating that fascism retains a place in the European psyche.
This foodstuff is fed to our children, for God's sake - are we really so spineless and supine that we allow this racist propaganda onto our dining tables?
Resist! Write to your MP demanding he ban this evil durum-based, Dhimmificatory filth.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Look Me In The Eye And Say That
I'm disappointed to see that, rather than forcing him to lick jelly off his own balls for the entertainment of a gang of cackling CIA interrogators, Vanity Fair have merely given him a face pack and a back, crack and sack wax.
It's at moments like this that I recall why I have such great respect for Hitchens - even as a combined force of health specialists and photographers strive to strip him of his dignity, he still maintains an air of detached, fuck-you rebelliousness by puffing on a cigarette.
What a trooper - lesser men would've been left looking absolutely ridiculous.
Still, in all of this pornographic depravity, we must remember to commemorate the suffering of the real victims.
I ask you to pity the poor stylist who laboureth betwixt the bulbous cheeks of Hitchens, for truly she hath looked into the abyss, and it hath looked into her.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Never Let Your Guard Down - Racists Are Everywhere
"When you think about how fantastically successful the Jewish lobby has been, though, in fact, they are less numerous I am told - religious Jews anyway - than atheists and [yet they] more or less monopolise American foreign policy as far as many people can see." - Ayatollah Dawkins, recently.
Well, I've never trusted the guy - you can see from the fevered look in his beady eye that he's one stubbed toe away from launching a one-man pogrom on the Armenians.
Scratch an atheist, and you'll find Inquisitor Bernardo Gui, or so they say.
Anyway, I have a hard time believing all this The Jews control this or American policy that. I saw a guy on TV once saying that they controlled the media or some such cant - short, German bloke, daft mustache, seemed a little bit pushy.
Well, I've been a huge fan of the works of Joseph Heller, Philip Roth and Kinky Friedman for years, and none of them have ever produced anything half as moronic as The Jeremy Kyle Show or America's Next Top Model.
If you ask me, we should march en masse through the streets demanding that the Jews be put in control of the media, to improve its intellectual and comic content.
On the other hand, I'm not averse to calls for the vicious, public flogging of Dawkins. It's a difficult conundrum, with pros and cons on either side.
Damn it all, I just can't decide.
Commenters, what do you think? Should we appoint Woody Allen as the Head of Light Entertainment, or should we all just get together and whip the skin off the vile racist Dawkins 'til he squeals like a chainsawed chihuahua?
Think carefully, now. The lives of millions may depend upon it.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Huge Crack On Display In Tate Gallery - Art Lovers Looking Into It
"The work, entitled Shibboleth 2007, runs the full 167 metres of the cavernous hall on London's South Bank.
It begins as a crack then widens and deepens as it snakes across the room."
The artist explains the work's significance, but I prefer to leave it to your interpretation.
What symbolism could this massive crack possibly have?
Personally, I'm just glad it's showing in London rather than Scotland. We'd just have filled it with sausages or turned it into a crude device for smoking narcotics.
Sunday, October 07, 2007
Power Politics
Congratulations to President Talabani, who has astoundingly schmoozed the Americans into reversing their current policy. It's amazing that he's managed to change Mr. Bush's mind when 70% of Americans can't.
It occurs to me that this could just be a political move - perhaps Mr. Talabani is trying to bounce the Republicans into doing his bidding.
Well, best of luck - I've been touting for a few tasty reconstruction projects myself, and no dice. Back in 2004 I worked for the Coalition Provisional Authority under Jerry Bremmer, running crack and bitches for the young Republican swinging set in the Green Zone.
Let me tell you, it was hard work. Every day I was besieged by shouting, sweater-clad business graduates cramming hundred dollar bills into my hand, calling me Buddy and asking me to track down horse tranquilisers and small rodents for them.
Every night was a Baghdadi bacchanalia, as preppy can-do types reinterpreted Uncle Milty Friedman's permanent income hypothesis while snorting lines of cocaine so wide you'd need a run-up to vault them.
Bremmer was arbiter bibendi, sitting under an enormous portrait of George W. while wearing a crown and overseeing the proceedings with maniacal glee.
"You there!" he'd shout now and then, guzzling down a roll of pills with deep tonks from a bottle of Jack. "Don't tickle her with it, really give it some! And bring me more hamsters, you fucks, or I'll have you all shot like dogs!"
You've never felt fear until you've seen the cream of the 2002 economic theory classes ripped to the tits on Absolut and Vicodin, trying to see which of them could shove the most drugs up their arses before they started convulsing and speaking in tongues.
And that was just a Tuesday night - the real fun didn't kick off 'til the weekends.
All that, and all I got was a thank you, a smile and a see you at the Weekly Standard bash next year!
So, as I say, credit to Talabani for convincing the Administration to go along with his plan - he's succeeded where I couldn't.
If the Americans don't follow through with his withdrawal plan, I advise him to try yawning, then announcing that it's getting late, and that Iraq has to be up early for work in the morning.
Works like a charm on unwelcome guests every time, in my experience.
Friday, October 05, 2007
Saluting The Prime Ministerial Penis
Via Mr. E, I find that Mick Fealty has put together a word cloud depicting those Wee Gordon used most often - as one might expect, it's not hard to spot the influence of focus groups and electoral strategists.
"I am proud to be penis - I believe in penis values..."
I will stand up for our schools and our hospitals - I will stand up for penis values.
I will stand up for a strong penis.
And I will always stand up for you."
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Dull Football Chat
Celtic have beaten the European champions AC Milan 2-1, while Rangers have defeated German champions VFB Stuttgart by the same score, and absolutely stuffed French champions Lyon 3-0.
Add this to Scotland's home and away victories over football giants France, and we are a nation on the up - after years of humiliation at the hands of diddy countries, we are now knocking shit out of some of the biggest powers in the world.
It's been far too long, but finally Scottish football is making its mark on the map. Best of luck to Aberdeen, who have an appallingly difficult tie to negotiate today - all of us hope that you can do a job on Dnipro.
Fucking brilliant - no other words will do.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
The Pussification Of The Western Male
Don't believe me?
Just this week, the Prime Minister shamefully announced that 1000 British soldiers would be withdrawn from Iraq, betraying the promise we made to its people.
Oh for the days of Tony Blair, a leader with balls of steel - Blair would never flinch from ordering the armed forces to drive in circles around Basra to be shot at and blown up by the locals. Blair would face down his critics and say, We are prepared to make the required blood-sacrifice, and if that means ordering soldiers to dodge bullets and IEDs for no good reason, then by God I will!
There was a leader who wasn't afraid to play meaningless gesture politics with the lives of others.
But that's not even the worst of it - oh no. Now, we can't even deport refugees to be tortured in Sudan without being subjected to a load of whining about their so-called "human rights".
Well, if you ask me, as soon as you decide not to be a white, British anglo-saxon protestant, you lose all of your so-called "human rights" - if you don't even have the basic decency to be born in Britain, frankly, you deserve everything you get.
What kind of country have we created in which a British policeman cannot shoot whoever he wants, whenever he wants, as many times as he wants, without having to answer a lot of impertinent questions?
And, frankly, a world in which a gang of red-blooded American mercenaries can't machine gun a marketplace without being harrassed by the political correctness police is not a world in which I wish to live.
Fie, a pox on these touchy-feely Hampstead liberals, for they have made great, simpering jessies of us all.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Internet Bloggers Cast Doubt Upon Sparrow's Guilt, Implicate Palestinians
Reuters News, 1st October 2007
The trial of the Sparrow, accused of the cold-blooded murder of Cock Robin, collapsed in bitter acrimony today following a dazzling intervention by a pair of internet bloggers.
The Sparrow had previously broken under intense questioning by the prosecution, sobbing freely while professing his guilt.
"I remind the witness that he is under oath," stated the Lark, prosecuting. "Now, Sparrow, can you tell me who killed Cock Robin?"
"I," sobbed the Sparrow, "With my little bow and arrow - I killed Cock Robin."
A murmur of surprise rippled around the court as a clerk then approached the bench and handed an envelope to Judge Rook, presiding.
In a move that has astonished the world of avian law, Judge Rook announced that he was granting a petition from internet bloggers Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs and "Zombie" of Zombietime to present evidence as "Amicus Curiae", or "friends of the court".
Over-ruling objections from the prosecution, Judge Rook then heard expert testimony from the bloggers, who presented technical and ballistic evidence to disprove the charges against the Sparrow.
Presenting a diagram of the crime scene, Mr. Johnson demonstrated that, at the time of the murder, the Sparrow's line of sight to the victim had been blocked by a large tree.
"Clearly," Mr. Johnson stated, "If the Sparrow could not see Cock Robin, he could hardly have shot him with his little bow and arrow."
"And, since no autopsy was performed upon Cock Robin, there is no evidence incriminating the Sparrow."
"It's true," sobbed the Owl from the gallery, "I dug his grave - with my little pick and shovel, I dug his grave."
The prosecution objected furiously to the intervention, strenuously contesting Mr. Johnson's academic credentials.
"This man is not qualified to give expert testimony," the Lark stated. "He is quite obviously a pony-tailed, Californian surf-bum tool with a sociopathic beef against foreigners!"
"I'll allow it," ruled Judge Rook, who then observed with interest as "Zombie" demonstrated her hypothesis that a third party had been involved.
"As we can see from my diagram, it is perfectly possible that a Palestinian bowman was concealed behind a poorly-drawn pram, on higher ground. The victim was well within the range of the standard Palestinian bow, which is more than powerful enough to kill the average small songbird."
"As an expert in Palestinian ballistic technology, I have studied the arrow in question, and can confirm that it is of Palestinian origin."
Judge Rook then called the Fly to the dock, where he was questioned by Counsel for the Defence.
"Did you see him die?", the Fly was asked, to which he responded "Aye, I saw him die - with my little eye, I saw him die."
"And," asked the Wren, defending, "in your opinion, is it possible that Cock Robin could have been slain by a concealed Palestinian?"
As the Fly nodded his assent, the Wren then addressed the bench. "I put it to you, M'Lud, that the Sparrow is innocent, and that this evidence is a set-up concocted by Palestinian propagandists to discredit him!"
There were gasps as Judge Rook then threw out all charges against the defendant and dismissed the case.
Outside the court, Mr. Johnson and "Zombie" welcomed the verdict.
"This is a victory for the common man over the might of the MSM (Mainstream Media)," announced Mr. Johnson. "We must remain vigilant, for the wily foreigner is always adept at exploiting the prejudices of the journalistic establishment to spread his vile propaganda."
"With dedication and perseverence, we will prove that every allegation of wrongdoing against Sparrowkind is nothing but a convuluted Palestinian conspiracy."
At that moment, the Bull tolled the bell, and all the birds of the air fell a-sighing and a-sobbing, when they heard the bell toll for poor Cock Robin.


text:
Leyla and Janne,
Aleksanterinkatu, Helsinki, Finland
It is actually a bad thing that Finnish street style has improved so much in recent years – it makes it harder to stand out. We usually buy from second-hand shops, because then it is less likely to see the same thing on someone else. If we still buy from some high street shop, we customize it. Old bands inspire us, for example The Rolling Stones and The Who.
Kiasma, Helsinki, Finland
I haven't been shopping for ages, because as a student I rarely have money for that. Although I don't buy big labels, there are many designers I like and I'm also into Japanese fashion. I think Japanese have a beautiful skin colour and dark hair that looks good with everything; therefore they can wear so crazy ensembles.
Simonkatu, Helsinki, Finland
I never wear black, only very colourful clothes. I usually try to find them from second-hands like UFF. I don't get my inspiration from other people, because at least in Finland people wear too dark colours. Instead, I get my inspiration from art, especially from the works of Mark Rothko.
Aleksanterinkatu, Helsinki, Finland
My style is ever-changing. About 6 months ago I had a very girly style, now it is really tomboyish. My current style icon is Agyness Deyn, who also inspired this haircut. Her hair always looks so good, so I take pictures of her to my hairdressers and demand as good cut as she has. I usually shop at second-hands and my favourite ones in Helsinki are the UFF stores.
Sanna-Liisa and Milla,
Simonkatu, Helsinki, Finland
The fact that we are both wearing so much grey, is a pure coincidence. We actually like colour, especially pink. We like to be unique, but still not too over the top. It is more about unique details. We gather ideas from everywhere, as we both study fashion, it plays a huge part in our lives.
Kiasma, Helsinki, Finland
Street style and especially Hel-Looks is really popular in Helsinki, but this has had a negative effect on everyone's style. Now young people look too streetstylish and this look is not innovative anymore, but mainstream. I really like the vibe on 70's and 80's New York and I also love bands from that era. I think this is reflected in my personal style also.
Simonkatu, Helsinki, Finland
My style is hip hop meets Asian street styles. Recently I discovered some Thai designers and labels, which are my favourites at the moment. I like to stand out, but I don't think much about fashion. There are some labels I always buy, for example CLH, and later on I just combine whatever I have.
Mannerheimintie, Helsinki, Finland
I used to be very critical about Finnish street style, but there are more and more people who look really good. I love reading fashion magazines, for example Elle, and there are so many designers who I like, though I rarely buy anything from them. My favourite international designer is Marc Jacobs, I especially love his shoes and bags, and Finnish designer is Rinne Niinikoski.


text:
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Problem: When I click on a course from "My Online Learning," I am presented with a login page, but my ACFE.com username and password won't allow me to log in.
Solution: You do not have to log in a second time to access your online self-study. You most likely reached the login page because you clicked the link labeled "Click Here" as shown below:
Do not click that link; instead, allow your browser to automatically open the eLearning window on its own, which should happen after a few seconds. This will log you in automatically so that you can access your online courses.
Problem: I receive the following error when I try to load a different lesson with a course:
Solution: This occurs in Internet Explorer when trying to load a different lesson without closing the current lesson. This error can be avoided two different ways:
Always close the current lesson before going to another one. Always click the Close Window button (usually the red "X" in the upper right corner) of the current lesson before clicking on another lesson.
Use a different browser. This error seems to only occur in Internet Explorer, so using Mozilla Firefox or Google Chrome should resolve the issue (see below for links to download either of these browsers).
Other Troubleshooting Tips: If you encounter other errors, such as courses freezing or crashing, we recommend taking the following action:
Try a different browser. ACFE online self-study courses are designed to run on all modern web browsers, but if you encounter a problem that is not solved using one of the suggestions above, you can try using a different web browser to see if it eliminates the problem. We have most frequently seen where using Mozilla Firefox or Google Chrome has resolved an issue that was seen in Internet Explorer.
Mozilla Firefox can be downloaded
Google Chrome can be downloaded
Make sure you are running the latest version of Flash. Go to
Adobe.com to see what version of Flash you are running, and then compare that to the table on that page to see what the latest version is for your operating system/browser combination. If you are not running the newest version, you should upgrade and see if that resolves the problem.


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Press Release
The acquisition confirms Sorin Group's strategic plan to continue to invest in its Heart Failure growth platform
Milan, Italy, November 12, 2012 – Sorin Group (Reuters Code: SORN.MI), a global medical device company and a leader in the treatment of cardiovascular diseases, announced today the acquisition of Neurotech SA ("Neurotech"), a developer of neurostimulation devices.
This acquisition will accelerate the time to market of Sorin's neuromodulation therapies to treat Heart Failure. Neurotech will also complement Sorin's key Heart Failure treatment technical expertise and enhance its intellectual property position.
Neurotech was formed in 1994 by the Université catholique de Louvain and funded by entities of the Walloon Region of Belgium. Neurotech has unique expertise in the development of implantable medical devices that stimulate the vagus nerve. Stimulation of the vagus nerve has shown promising clinical effects on the cardiovascular function in experimental and pilot clinical studies, and may become a potential treatment for heart failure.
"This deal confirms Sorin Group's commitment to the hemodynamic management of Heart Failure and our decision to enter the neuromodulation market. The Neurotech acquisition is another important step forward in our long-term growth initiatives announced in our recent Strategic Plan," said André-Michel Ballester, Chief Executive Officer of Sorin Group.
About Sorin Group
Sorin Group (www.sorin.com) is a global medical device company and a leader in the treatment of cardiovascular diseases. The Company develops, manufactures, and markets medical technologies for cardiac surgery and for the treatment of cardiac rhythm disorders. With 3,750 employees worldwide, Sorin Group focuses on three major therapeutic areas: cardiopulmonary bypass (extracorporeal circulation and autotransfusion systems), cardiac rhythm management, and heart valve repair and replacement. Every year, over one million patients are treated with Sorin Group devices in more than 80 countries.
About Neurotech
Neurotech SA, located in Louvain-la-Neuve (Belgium), is a spin-off of the Université catholique de Louvain and has been funded by SOPARTEC, the technology transfer company of Université catholique de Louvain, Vives Louvain Technology Fund SA and SRIW Techno SA (Société Régionale d'Investissement de Wallonie). Neurotech designs and develops implantable medical devices for the treatment of debilitating disorders by neurostimulation. Neurotech's first developed product, an implantable vagus nerve stimulator, presents two key differentiators: the ADNS-300 uses a rechargeable battery and not only stimulates the vagus nerve but also records neural activity from the left vagus nerve using an innovative cuff electrode. This unique sensing feature enables the physician to capture the "compound action potential" (CAP) generated by the stimulation, which should allow an improved and personalized treatment.
For more information, please visit: www.sorin.com or contact:
Martine Konorski
Director, Corporate Communications
Sorin Group
Tel: +33 (0)1 46 01 33 78
Mobile: +33 (0)6 76 12 67 73
e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.com
Francesca Rambaudi
Director, Investor Relations
Sorin Group
Tel: +39 02 69969716
e-mail: email@example.com


text: Professor of Legal Research and Writing Scott Anderson brings 15 years of extensive legal experience to the law school. For the past six years, he has been staff attorney at the Ohio Criminal Sentencing Commission and before that served as the Commission's juvenile coordinator. His experience also includes prosecuting adult felony crimes for the Licking County Prosecutor's Office before being promoted to managing attorney of the juvenile and civil divisions. Anderson also brings extensive teaching experience; he was a part-time instructor teaching contemporary ethical theory and the philosophy of law at The Ohio State University and has been a seminar instructor on a variety of legal issues for state agencies and the Ohio Judicial College. Anderson has been a member of the American Philosophical Association, the Committee on Juvenile Rights in the Justice System, and the Ohio Supreme Court Workgroup on Juvenile Defendant Access to Legal Counsel. He holds a Ph.D. in Philosophy from The Ohio State University and a J.D. from Case Western Reserve University.


text:
Samuel Curtis Johnson: The Generous and Determined Founder of a Family Company
This We Believe: Our Company Values Have Guided SC Johnson for Five Generations
FAQs: Answers to Your Questions about SC Johnson and Getting in Touch
SC Johnson's Greenlist™ Program: Choosing Product Ingredients to Better Protect Human Health and the Environment
Global Product Transparency: SC Johnson Offers Ingredient Lists So You Can Make Choices for Your Family
SCJ Recycles: Increasing Latin American Recycling Rates with Innovation, Education
Insect Science: Helping Families Stay Healthy by Fighting Mosquito-Borne Disease
Renewable Energy Powers SC Johnson With the Use of Wind, Solar, Food Waste, and Trash
Zero Waste Management: Over 65% of SC Johnson Factories are Now Zero Waste to Landfill
Oops, you've found a bug.
Ups, hast du
Einen Fehler gefunden
How embarrassing! And, unfortunately, it's the rare kind of pest on which Raid® doesn't work.
Please use the search tool at the top to find what you need.


text:
Do you throw out food when it's past the "use by" or "sell by" date on the label, thinking it's no longer safe to eat?
Then you're making the same mistake that 91 percent of Americans – myself included – make: namely, prematurely tossing billions of pounds of food (and wasting lots of money) every year because we think those dates indicate food safety.
In actuality, the dates stamped on food products are set by manufacturers primarily to help retailers rotate inventory or to indicate to consumers when a product is at peak quality for taste. The dates have nothing to do with food safety.
Yet most consumers believe otherwise, says a new report by the Natural Resources Defense Council and Harvard's Food Law and Policy Clinic, which is not surprising considering the "dizzying array of food expiration date labeling practices."
"Date labeling is not a system at all," said NRDC staff scientist Dana Gunders in a teleconference Wednesday with reporters. "It's a mess."
Consumer confusion about what the dates mean lead many to "throw out perfectly good food," wasting money and natural resources and adding to the nation's growing landfills and environmental problems, researchers said.
The report estimates that the average U.S. family of four probably wastes $450 a year on food that's needlessly thrown away because of confusion over date labels. Nationally, an estimated 40 percent of food is never eaten in the U.S., racking up $165 billion in losses.
Adding to the problem is a confusing patchwork of state rules regarding date labeling on food – rules that stymie both retailers and manufacturers, said Emily Broad Leib, director of Harvard's Food Law and Policy Clinic.
For example, 41 states require some sort of date labeling, but nine don't. And 20 states restrict stores from selling products after a "use by" date, but 30 states don't.
The only product for which the "use by" phrase is federally regulated is infant formula, and that's because the nutrients decline, not because the product spoils, the report notes.
"We need a standardized, commonsense labeling system," said Broad Leib, who added that the U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Food and Drug Administration both have the power to regulate dates on labels, "but have left it up to the manufacturers mostly."
On the other hand, the mishmash of dates hasn't posed a health threat to consumers. "I know of no food poisoning outbreak from people eating out-of-date food," as long as it's stored properly, said food-safety expert Ted Labuza, professor of food science and engineering at the University of Minnesota, who has been studying this problem for decades.
David Fikes, vice president for consumer/community affairs with the Food Marketing Institute (FMI), which represents food retailers and wholesalers, agrees there is widespread "consumer confusion about using the dates on labels."
Consumers should know that "they are not a discard date" but rather an indication of optimal quality, he said in an interview. He thinks more consumer education about the dates is needed, not a new system or more regulations.
FMI has worked with the USDA on "Food Keeper," a way for consumers to find out the optimum time that foods should be stored for freshness and quality. You can also check the handy guide to refrigerator and freezer storage times for food on the Foodsafety.gov website.
Photo: Courtesy Dana Gunders, Natural Resources Defense Council
Also of Interest
- Report: One-Third of World's Food Goes to Waste
- 8 Foods We Eat That Other Countries Ban
- Questions about the Affordable Care Act? Get your answers here.
- Join AARP: Savings, resources and news for your well-being
See the AARP home page for deals, savings tips, trivia and more


text:
Here's a slightly less common variation of the Idiot On The Field phenomenon: Idiot On The Court.
According to various reports on Twitter, a fan at tonight's Cavs game against the Clippers found his way on the court and was apparently wearing a shirt with a special message for Kyrie Irving: Kyrie Don't Leave. That'll keep him in town and definitely won't creep him out when you walk up to him on the basketball court and open up your jacket like some kind of G-rated flasher.
h/t Michael


text:
Music Lyrics
Bass and Guitar Tabs
and More...
Click on any of the following sounds to download it. If you get any errors, simply click the reload or refresh button. If you have any problems Contact Me.
alwzlose.htm-We Lose, we always lose.
headoff.htm-i'll tell you what I can do...
Click here to return to my own sounds page or here for my homepage.
Website © 2000-2014 mattsmusicpage.com. All rights reserved.
Legal & DMCA: Matt's Music Page has been providing lyrics and tabs in a legal way, paying royalties each year to a few organizations. Then, all lyrics and tabs were removed from the site. Now, there's a new owner to the site, which purchased it August 26, 2014, and he is in negotiation to obtain licensing from BMI at the moment. If you have a specific DMCA request -- please do not hesitate to contact me via the contact button on top. I will do my very best to keep this site fully legal.
46 Outdoor Sports Graffiti Stickers for Skateboard Laptop Luggage Guitar Shop
57 Supreme Graffiti Stickers for Laptop Luggage Guitar Car Bar Club Bomb Decal
47 pcs Graffiti Naughty Sexy Girl Stickers for Laptop Luggage Guitar Shop Case
One Piece Luffy Nami Zero Cartoon Graffiti Stickers for Laptop Luggage Guitar
38 Pieces Retro Hotel Graffiti Stickers for Laptop Luggage Guitar Case Cafe Shop


text:
Difficulty: Easy - for beginners
Preparation time:
Cooking time:
Dietary guidance: v
4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, plus extra for greasing
1/2 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
Dash nutmeg
2 1/2 cups thinly sliced apples, such as Cortland, McIntosh, or Macoun (about 3 small apples)
The Cake:
6 tablespoons unsalted butter, very soft
1 cup sugar
2 eggs, room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 cup unbleached flour
3 tablespoons cornmeal
1 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup milk
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
Lightly butter the sides of a 9-inch cake pan (not a springform pan).
Combine the butter, sugar, cinnamon, and nutmeg in a small saucepan and boil 30 seconds. Scrape the mixture into the prepared pan and spread evenly. Sprinkle the apples all over and press them down slightly to level them.
To make the cake, beat the butter and sugar with an electric mixer until creamy. Add the eggs and vanilla, and beat until very smooth and fluffy, about 2 minutes.
Sprinkle in the flour, cornmeal, baking powder, and salt, and beat 10 seconds. Pour in the milk and beat just until the batter is evenly moistened, about 1 minute. Spoon the batter over the apples and smooth the top.
Bake 50 minutes, or until a knife inserted in the center of the cake comes out dry. Run a knife along the outer edge of the cake to loosen it from the pan. Place a plate over the cake, then flip it over to invert the cake onto the plate. Let the cake cool completely before serving.


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Page 1 of 3
Help restore St. Isidore Historical Plaza. St. Isidore Chapel is the oldest public building in Los Alamitos. Your donation will help restore, preserve and protect this little gem and surrounding property for use as a Park and Community Center. Learn more about St. Isidore Historical Plaza - past, present and future plans.
Read More...
Help save St. Isidore Historical Plaza for future generations. We appreciate any amount you can give. Read More..
By becoming a member of St. Isidore Historical Plaza, you will be supporting the efforts to restore, preserve and protect St. Isidore Historical Plaza for the enrichment of our community throughout future generations.
Join Today
We have many different ways in which you can volunteer supporting everything from saving and preserving this beautiful landmark to helping with our current community services, special events or helping in our administrative offices.
Copyright ©2012 St. Isidore Historical Plaza. 501 © 3 EIN #33-0865721
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text:
Chris & Neef (Young Gunz) - Gonna Change
The official music video for Chris & Neef "Gonna Change" off their new mixtape, Back To Business available
Directed by DEP/High DEPinition Production, INC.
Posted by @WorldStarVids
Please click the "Report" button below if the video on this page is not working properly.
Comments will only be displayed by verified emails. No Spamming or Racism.


text: The FDA is finally taking action against the clinics behind the 1-800-GET-THIN ads running in Southern California, where five people died due to complications from Lap-Band surgery. The facilities fall into a "regulatory no man's land," but about a year ago the L.A. County Department of Public Health asked the FDA to look into the advertising campaign. Today the FDA said that the 1-800-GET-THIN adds don't provide the required informations about the risks and side effects of Lap-Band surgery. While the ads and billboards prominently feature slogans like "Let your new life begin," all the important details about possibly dying from the procedure "appear so small as to render the information illegible." The companies now have 15 days to respond and explain how they plan to stop being so damn shady.


text:
A red plastic ball simply melts away!
The magician lets his spectators examine a red plastic ball and a clear plastic box. One spectator sets the ball inside the box, which the magician refers to as the "Disintegration Chamber." Despite the fact that the lid has been placed on the Disintegration Chamber and the spectators have examined all of the props, the ball manages to vanish from inside of the box at the magician's command. Covered by a handkerchief, the ball simply melts away!
Do you own this product? Write a review.


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Friday, July 1, 2011
Lokpal 001
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ഹ ഹ ഹ ഹ, ഇതിനേക്കാല് വലിയ നിര്വ്വചനമില്ല!!!!!
July 14, 2011 at 10:30 PM
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Lalithakala Academy Award
Award Winning Cartoon
Indian Rupee gets a Symbol
UNESCO Award winning Cartoon
With Legendary Cartoonist, shri R.K. Laxman
With three more masters: Abu, Kutty and Mario
About Me
While young I enjoyed sketching people around and at school I was notorious for cartooning my teachers. My first cartoon appeared in print when I was only 17 and over 2000 have now appeared in publications around the world: The Express, The Week, Onlooker & City Journal (India), India-New England, Malayalam Patram & New-Indian Express (USA), Malayalam News (UAE) & CNN. I am a scientist involved in advancing new energy technologies and earned my Ph.D from IIT-M. I am a recipient of UNESCO fellowship for promising young scientists and an author of ~ 75 papers & 15 patents. Cartooning keeps me creative in my pursuit of excellence in R&D. In 2003, Kerala Center (NY) honored me for "Extraordinary combination of talents as an Outstanding Scientist & Gifted Cartoonist". My cartoons have won the Union of Concerned Scientists (USA)contest (2008), "Chemistry is Life" International Contest by UNESCO (2010) and Kerala Lalithakala Academy Honorable Mention Award (2011). While at IIT, I met renowned cartoonist, Shri. R.K. Laxman and inspired me pursue cartooning along with science. This what I crave to do.
View my complete profile


text:
Cisco SensorBase Confirms Microsoft Video ActiveX Vulnerability Exploited In The Wild
On July 14th, 2009 Microsoft released Microsoft Security Bulletin MS09-032 to address a remote code execution vulnerability in the Microsoft Video ActiveX Control (msvidctl.dll). Microsoft initially announced this vulnerability via Microsoft Security Advisory 972890. Cisco Security Intelligence Operations (SIO) released IPS Signature Updates S411 and S414 which contain signatures that detect attempts to exploit this vulnerability. Additional information about this and other vulnerabilities in Microsoft's Security Bulletin for July 2009 is available in the corresponding Cisco Event Response.
Analysis of IPS Network Participation data in the Cisco SensorBase Network confirms that this vulnerability is being exploited.
What is particularly noteworthy is that the attacker IP addresses have a bad Reputation score. There are two concepts I mentioned above that I'd like to explain: Network Participation and Reputation. These features are components of Cisco Global Correlation and were introduced in IPS 7.0. Network Participation enables IPS devices to send data to the Cisco SensorBase Network. The data sent to SensorBase includes signature IDs, attacker ports and addresses, reputation score and risk rating. The second component, Reputation, provides an IPS with a probability that a given IP address is malicious based on known previous activity. IPS devices interact with the Cisco SensorBase Network to send Network Participation data and receive Reputation data. Global Correlation works hand in hand with both existing and new signatures. Specifically, these features allow us to verify that the IP addresses in the Microsoft DirectShow msvidctl.dll Code Execution signature alerts are known to be malicious and confirm that an attack is underway.
In an effort to keep conversations fresh, Cisco Blogs closes comments after 60 days. Please visit the Cisco Blogs hub page for the latest content.


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From virtually the moment it was proposed back in December, the MTK: Music to Know festival, scheduled for Aug. 13 and 14 at East Hampton Airport, has attracted attention, some of it negative, from residents who said, among other things, that staging an event for 9,500 ticketholders in the height of the summer was just too much.
Now the event seems to have attracted something else: a 13-foot giant rat that could be inflated near the airport, on Industrial Road, to call attention to the wrath of union workers over the hiring of non-union labor to stage the show.
The East Hampton Town Board is expected, at a meeting tonight, to issue a mass-gathering permit for daily demonstrations by up to 100 union members, plus the rat, from 7 a.m. to 6 p.m. each day from tomorrow through Aug. 13, the first day of the festival.
The groups listed on the permit are the Theatrical Teamsters Local 817, Theatrical Stagehands Local 340, and the Teamsters Local 817, all based in Nassau County.
Reached yesterday by phone, Chris Jones, one of the dogged organizers of the festival, which will feature bands such as Vampire Weekend, Bright Eyes, and Ellie Goulding, who performed this spring at the wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton, said he was aware of the request for a demonstration, but doubted it would come to pass.
"We've actually been talking to the union for a couple of months now," he said. "We've already had several meetings with them. They told us they were doing this."
"This is a process that they always do," he said of the groups' plans to demonstrate, "because it's the only negotiating tool that they have."
"There's no need to use union labor," he said. "We don't have to." Hiring union stagehands and others, he said, was "a lot more expensive. It really comes down to the economics of the festival. But we'll work something out with them." He declined to detail what that might be, because of the ongoing negotiations.
Calls to the union organizers of the event were not returned by press time.


text:
Another day, another contest … but the 10th Annual Burton European Open isn't just any contest and Laax isn't just any old venue. TWS arrived here with a slew of American riders on the circuit traveling from the finals at the Dew Tour at Mount Snow straight into the semi-finals at the Euro Open the following day. Unlike the Dew tour though, this Laax pipe is a monster 22-foot Super (duper?) pipe and the setting, high in the Swiss Alps, is next level. No one is immune to the epic views all around. It's a damn nice place to grab an espresso and watch some pipe riding.
So, while we arrived yesterday, this contest has been on since last Wednesday, because as the name implies—it's an open event and everyone gets a chance to compete. The event started with Juniors fourteen and under riders competing in this same 22-foot pipe and Superpark with Roxy rider Emma Bernard taking it for the girls pipe and Ty Walker taking first in the girls slopestyle. Swiss rider Patrick Burgener swept the juniors event with a first place win in both pipe and slopestyle.
The juniors event was followed by open qualifiers for the main event—it's anyone and everyone's chance to earn a spot to compete against the best of the best. In slopestyle it was Stale Sandbech and Lonnie Kauk taking the first and second open spots in qualifiers and ten more men taking up the remaining spots. In women's slopestyle, Lisa Wiik and Cilka Sadar took the top two of the six open spots.
The following day, eleven pipe riders qualifed for the open spots including Finnish rider Ilkka-Eemeli Laari and Norwegian Stale Sandbech again! The thirteen open women's spots were gobbled up by Lesley McKenna, Cilka Sadar, Lisa Wiik, and Sarka Pancochova among others.
Which catches us up to yesterdays pipe semi-finals, which saw a few of the same names qualifying for the 16 open spots in mens and 8 in womens. The women's division was absent some of the big names riders with the exception of Kelly Clark who posted an almost ten point lead in front of second place finisher Linn Haug—basically dominating the field with back to back fives way out and a stylish front seven. (On a down note, Jamie Anderson flew out of the pipe onto the deck and got herself a bit of a hip hematoma, possibly taking her out of the competition circuit for a week or two, and definitely taking the strongest contender out of tomorrow's Slopestyle finals.)
The results were:
1 Clark, Kelly (USA) Burton 91.17
2 Haug, Linn (NOR) Burton 82.33
3 Sadar, Cilka (SLO) Burton 79.50
4 Thost, Nicola (GER) Burton 74.67
5 Pancochova, Sarka (CZE) Bern Unlimited 72.50
6 Ligocka, Paulina (POL) Roxy 68.50
7 Wiik, Lisa (NOR) Roxy 68.33
8 Oestgaard Buaas, Kjersti (NOR) Roxy 66.67
The men excelled in the 22-foot beast, with Shaun White and Kevin Pearce battling it out in separate heats for the top qualifying position—with Kevin just pulling ahead of Shaun, which sets us up for a fun finals today. Shaun combed up a front five to back five, front 10 to Cab 10, finishing with a front 7 to a Haakon flip. Kevin threw a few straight airs in his run, he started with a big ol' frontside air, a McTwist Japan to frontside 720, to a Cab 1080, to front 900, and ending with a huge Indy. The judges were down for it. The results were:
1. Pearce, Kevin (USA) Burton 95.00
2. White, Shaun (USA) Burton 91.83
3. Haller, Christian (SUI) Burton 89.33
4. Malin, Markus (FIN) Thirty Two 84.17
5. Schmidt, Christophe (GER) Head 80.67
6. Piiroinen, Peetu (FIN) Burton 77.67
7. Podladtchikov, Iouri (SUI) Volcom 77.50
8. Burgener, Patrick (SUI) Nitro 76.50
9. Kleivdal, Roger (NOR) Sweet 73.83
10. Aguirre, Mason (USA) Burton 73.00
11. Crepel, Mathieu (FRA) Quiksilver 72.83
12. Koski, Markku (FIN) Thirty Two 72.50
13. Davis, Danny (USA) Burton 72.17
14. Stewart, Ben (NZL) O'Neill 70.50
15. Simmen, Gian (SUI) O'Neill 70.50
16. Hast, Miikka (FIN) Protest 68.83
Check back later today for the final pipe results.


text:
- Product Information
Daisy Chain by Annabel Wrigley for Windham Fabrics
View the Daisy Chain Lookbook to learn more about this collection!Additional Information
Product Type Yardage Fabric Collection Daisy Chain Fabric Designer Annabel Wrigley Fabric Manufacturer Windham Fabrics Theme Contemporary, Floral Fabric Type 100% Cotton Fabric Width 44/45" Image Scale 11" x 11" swatch of fabric
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