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Playing the flute and beatboxing at the same time? No problem for Nathan "Flutebox" Lee of Britain. This pioneer of fluteboxing tells us about his technique.
You can find out more about European lifestyle and culture in our Euromaxx show. The DW magazine program reports on culture and art, countries and lifestyle, fashion and music, celebrities and hobbies in Europe six times weekly. Or follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

subset: commoncrawl


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Book / View Availability
Please contact us by clicking here and we will help book your holiday.
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Dunstaffnage Cottage is a charming white-washed stone cottage beautifully positioned close to the harbour town of Oban. Converted from a traditional barn, this two-bedroom holiday cottage is adjacent to the owner's home within a delightful courtyard setting and is just a short walk from the Firth of Lorne and Loch Etive shoreline where you will find magical coastal walks, hidden bays and sandy beaches.
Whilst able to accommodate four people in two bedrooms, this comfortable self-catering cottage also provides the perfect hideaway for couples and romantic breaks. The spacious open plan living room with its glass entrance and wooden floor gives lots of light and space making it a lovely room to relax in after a day spent exploring this beautiful area of Scotland. The double bedroom has patio doors leading to a paved terrace overlooking the large shared garden creating a perfect spot for morning coffee. The cottage also benefits from its own back garden and two other patio areas with seating, a fire pit and barbeque allowing you to make the most of warm summer days and the beautiful sunsets. The utility room has plenty of space to store outdoor gear and is ideal for drying off wet dogs after enjoying the many beautiful walks right from the doorstep.
This glorious part of Argyll has so much to offer all ages. Dunstaffnage is home to the Scottish Association for Marine Science and the Scottish Oceans Explorer Centre & café is well worth a visit. The ancient Dunstaffnage Castle and its 13th century chapel is just a short walk from the cottage, and the adjacent Marina has a popular bar & restaurant (1 mile/15 min walk). The nearby fishing town of Oban is perfect for those who enjoy a bit of town life with excellent restaurants, shops and local attractions. During the summer the area comes alive with a host of highland games, festivals and ceilidhs, attracting bagpipers, highland dancers, traditional musicians and singers from all over the world. There are daily boat trips to the surrounding islands, where seals, porpoise and dolphins are often spotted. Oban is also known as the "Gateway to the Isles" with ferries to Mull and the inner Hebridean islands.
A recording/music/art studio is also available at the same location by separate negotiation.
All on ground floor level: Courtyard patio entrance to open plan kitchen/living room with dining area. Large utility room with door to parking area. Double bedroom with door to patio and garden. Shower room with shower, WC & WHB. Twin bedroom.
Outside: Patio area to front of cottage with table & chairs. Paved side terrace opening from double bedroom on to large shared lawn/garden with picnic bench, private back garden with side garden & patio, coal barbeque and fire pit.
Please Note:
- There is a pond, burn and hill leading to a steep cliff all within the grounds – young children must be supervised.
- Mobile reception is limited.
- A recording/music/art studio is also available at the same location by separate arrangement.
EPC Rating - E
Holiday Protection Scheme
Holiday Protection Scheme
Cottages & Castles Ltd. (acting as agents for property owners) provides a guarantee for tenants who have to cancel their holiday at a cottage.
If it is necessary to cancel your holiday, for any of the reasons A 1-5 below, you may do so at any time up until the close of business on the last working day before your tenancy commences and we will refund your balance. Your deposit is not refundable. If you have made a late booking and paid in full you will receive your payment minus the normal deposit sum (usually 30%).
There is no charge for this holiday protection – it is included in the cost of your holiday. Please note that the protection does not apply to holidays in our properties with codes beginning with P (usually castles, mansions and lodges).
Deposits may be transferred to a different date for a holiday at the same property within 12 months of the original holiday date, subject to availability, but not, however, for a different property. If the new booking is at a higher rate the tenant must pay the extra cost. No refund will be made if the new date is at a lower rate.
1. Death, accidental bodily injury, or illness (excluding pre-existing or chronic illness/conditions, or illness arising through epidemics or pandemics)
a) the Proposer and/or persons with whom he/she has arranged to travel.
b) any close relative or business associate of the Proposer or of any person with whom he/she has arranged to travel or arranged to meet at the specified holiday establishment. We will require appropriate documentary evidence of illness or bodily injury from a registered medical practitioner. This evidence must state that the Proposer is unfit to travel.
2. Jury service, witness call or unemployment through redundancy of the Proposer after the date of booking and prior to the commencement date of the holiday.
3. Fire or theft which is the subject of an insurance claim at the Insured's main residence or business premises within seven days before commencement of the holiday.
4. Occupational postings not contemplated at the time the holiday is booked.
5. Cancellation or curtailment of scheduled transport services due to strikes, riots or civil commotion, but limited to the cost of alternative transport up to £50 per person for the outward journey only.
But not, however:
1. Disinclination to travel.
2. Failure of public or private transport.
3. Suicide, attempted suicide, insanity, the influence of intoxicating liquor or the effect of drugs not taken in accordance with treatment prescribed and directed by a qualified medical practitioner or booking a holiday which is or would be against the advice of a registered medical practitioner.
4. Pregnancy unless problems occur which prevent the person travelling. A verification must be signed by a registered medical practitioner to this effect
5. Any loss which is otherwise insured.
6. Holiday accommodation booked outside Great Britain, Northern Ireland, Isle of Man and the Channel Islands


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BARCELONA, Nov 22 (Thomson Reuters Foundation) - With a virtual summit on Thursday and veteran British naturalist David Attenborough set to represent "the people" at December's crucial climate talks, the United Nations and frontline nations are pushing for more ordinary citizens to tackle global warming.
Supported by the world's biggest advertising agency WPP, the U.N. has enlisted Attenborough - much-loved for his colourful television series "Blue Planet" - to speak on Dec. 3 at its annual climate change meeting in Poland.
The 91-year-old is already encouraging the public to share their experiences and ideas about how to stop the planet heating up using the Twitter hashtag #TakeYourSeat.
"This is an opportunity for people from across the globe, regardless of their nationality or circumstances, to be part of the most important discussion of this century; the unprecedented action needed to reach the Paris Agreement targets," he said.
The 2015 Paris pact set a goal of limiting global warming to "well below" a rise of 2 Celsius (3.6 Fahrenheit) above pre-industrial times, while "pursuing efforts" for a tougher 1.5C goal.
Last month, the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change warned in a report that the world would heat up by more than 3C with countries' current pledges to cut planet-warming emissions under the Paris deal.
At the first online intergovernmental summit on Thursday, organised by about 50 countries most threatened by climate change, including Bangladesh, Nepal and Yemen, more than 40 leaders said action must be ramped up.
The leaders of the Climate Vulnerable Forum states pledged to raise the level of ambition of their national climate action plans by 2020 and urged other governments to do the same to keep the 1.5C warming limit within reach.
The Pacific nation of the Marshall Islands set an example this week, submitting new targets to the U.N. to reduce its emissions.
U.N. Secretary-General Antonio Guterres praised the green credentials of the "carbon-free" summit, which did not require participants to travel, thereby avoiding heat-trapping emissions.
"We are showing that more can be done with tools and means on hand than we might think," Hilda Heine, president of the Marshall Islands and host of the summit, said in a statement. (Reporting by Megan Rowling @meganrowling; editing by Katy Migiro. Please credit the Thomson Reuters Foundation, the charitable arm of Thomson Reuters, that covers humanitarian news, climate change, women's and LGBT+ rights, human trafficking and property rights. Visit news.trust.org/climate)


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President Nelson details plans for Salt Lake Temple during its 4-year closure for renovationPresident Russell M. Nelson announced on April 19 that the Salt Lake Temple will close for approximately four years.
More Recent Stories
'Our hearts are with beloved Paris': Sister Sharon Eubank shares hopeful post after Notre Dame fireLike many around the world who watched as smoke and flames destroyed the roof of the cathedral of Notre Dame in Paris on Monday, April 15, members of the Church took to social media this week to share in mourning the loss of the cathedral.
Elder Renlund invites youth in DR Congo to dedicate their 'whole life' to the SaviorElder Dale G. Renlund of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles underscored the importance of the temple during a Saturday afternoon youth devotional held in anticipation of the Kinshasa Democratic Republic of the Congo Temple dedication.
Lessons from Elder Stevenson: Creating a vision and maintaining a balance for one's lifeSpeaking at the 132nd commencement ceremony for LDS Business College, Elder Gary E. Stevenson told graduates about the importance of finding a vision for one's life and maintaining a balance of things that are most essential.
Why general conference rumors paled in comparison to this year's messages of love, hope and repentanceRumors about announcements and changes preceding the April 2019 general conference were abundant on social media leading up to conference weekend. In the end, conference was replete with messages of love, repentance, and the hope of the gospel.
President Nelson, Elder Gong to embark on 9-day ministry tour of Pacific AreaPresident Russell M. Nelson — joined by Sister Wendy Nelson, Elder Gerrit W. Gong of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles and his wife, Sister Susan Gong — will embark on a May 16-25 ministry tour of the Church's Pacific Area.


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Council of Europe Treaty Series - Explanatory Reports
1. On 5 November 1990 an informal ministerial conference on human rights was held in Rome. One of the topics discussed was the European Social Charter, with the result that the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe was invited to take the necessary measures so that a detailed study of the role, contents and operation of the European Social Charter might be undertaken as soon as possible.
2. At their 449th meeting (November-December 1990), the Ministers Deputies decided to authorise the convening of an ad hoc committee, the Committee on the European Social Charter (Charte-Rel), which would have the task of making proposals for improving the effectiveness of the European Social Charter and more particularly the functioning of its supervisory machinery.
3. The Committee was composed of experts designated by each member state. In addition, representatives of the Parliamentary Assembly, ILO, ETUC and UNICE took part in its meetings, but without the right to vote. The Committee of Independent Experts and the Governmental Committee as well as several other Council of Europe committees also participated in this work.
4. At its first meeting (February 1991), the Committee decided to concentrate, in the first instance, on the improvement of the supervisory machinery before addressing the reform of the substance of the Charter. As concerns the improvement of the supervisory machinery, its efforts resulted in three reforms which together make up a coherent whole: the present Protocol; the draft Additional Protocol laying down a system of collective complaints; the change in the reporting procedure, which the Committee of Ministers decided in September 1992 to introduce for a trial period of four years.
5. The Charte-Rel Committee adopted the draft Protocol at its third meeting (September 1991) and decided to communicate the text to the Committee of Ministers.
6. The Committee of Ministers, to which Parliamentary Assembly Recommendation 1168 (1991) had also been referred, adopted the text of the Protocol on 16 October 1991 and agreed that it should be opened for signature on 21 October 1991 in Turin, at a ministerial conference commemorating the 30th anniversary of the signature of the European Social Charter.
7. At the very outset of its work, the Charte-Rel Committee was unanimous on two preconditions for any significant improvement in the functioning of the Charter:
a. a political will should be clearly expressed in the supervisory process. The main weakness of the present functioning of the system of supervision lay in the absence of any political sanction. The Committee of Ministers ought to adopt individual recommendations on the basis of Article 29 of the Charter a step which it had so far never taken;
b. a substantial and rapid increase in the resources available for implementing the Charter, particularly the resources of the Secretariat, was required.
8. A consensus also emerged on various other points:
a. the Governmental Committee ought to be retained;
b. it was essential to clarify the functions and competences of the various supervisory organs, particularly those of the Committee of Independent Experts and of the Governmental Committee;
c. according to its own representatives, the role of the Parliamentary Assembly ought to be revised: it should cease to be a supervisory organ in the strict sense of the term and become a political body for stimulation and discussion;
d. the length of the supervisory procedure ought in any event to be reduced;
e. it was necessary to improve the participation of the social partners within the national framework;
f. efforts should be made to promote the Charter and make it better known, especially at national level.
9. The discussion was devoted for the most part to the clarification of the respective powers of the Committee of Independent Experts and the Governmental Committee. The text finally adopted is based on the idea that, of these two bodies, the Committee of Independent Experts alone would be competent to make a legal assessment of whether the national legislation, regulations and practices of a Contracting Party complied with its undertakings under the Charter. The role of the Governmental Committee would be to examine national situations and provide a specific viewpoint based on social, economic and other policy considerations. It could select the most problematical situations for consideration by the Committee of Ministers, suggesting, where appropriate, that the Ministers adopt one or more recommendations for the attention of this or that state. In this context, the Governmental Committee would not be a political organ per se, but rather a guide assisting the Committee of Ministers in reaching its decisions. Through its role as a forum of governmental experts examining the reasons for the various states main difficulties in the implementation of the provisions of the Charter, the Governmental Committee could play an important part in instigating measures to ensure social progress in Europe.
10. These considerations had several consequences, the main ones being as follows:
a. for the Committee of Independent Experts: increase in the number of members; modified procedure for election of members;
b. for the Governmental Committee: to consider the more frequent use of paragraph 2 of Article 27 of the Charter, under the terms of which the Governmental Committee may consult international non-governmental organisations having consultative status with the Council of Europe in respect of questions with which such organisations are particularly qualified to deal;
c. for the Committee of Ministers: adoption of individual recommendations; modification of the majority provided for under Article 29;
d. for the Parliamentary Assembly: new role (see paragraph 8.c above);
e. changes necessary prior to the conclusions of the Committee of Independent Experts, above all, gathering information as full and as balanced as possible. In this connection, special mention may be made of the possibility for the Committee of Independent Experts to refer directly to the Contracting Parties to request additional or more detailed information and to hold meetings with governmental representatives.
11. Not all these proposals required amendments to the Charter in order to be implemented. Nevertheless, in the light of past experience, the Charte-Rel Committee felt that several of the proposals should be incorporated into the text of the Charter.
Article 1
12. This article amends Article 23. Apart from purely technical changes, it introduces a new system for communicating copies of governmental reports and observations on these reports.
Paragraph 1
13. Compared with the original text, the amended text states that when submitting their reports to the Secretary General governments shall send a copy to national organisations of employers and workers; the copy may of course be sent in the national language before being translated into one of the official languages of the Council of Europe.
14. The last two sentences replace the existing paragraph 2. Henceforth, both sides of industry can send their observations on the governmental reports directly to the Secretary General of the Council of Europe, while governments will also have the chance to submit their comments.
Paragraph 2
15. This paragraph is new. It provides that certain international non-governmental organisations (INGOs) shall be informed. This provision, which is mainly inspired by the important role which INGOs may play in developing the Charter and giving it fresh impetus, should be read in conjunction with Article 27, paragraph 2, and with the draft Additional Protocol introducing a system of collective complaints. There is merely a duty to inform: in contrast to the national social partners mentioned in paragraph 1, these INGOs will not have an opportunity to pass comments on governments reports.
Paragraph 3
16. This paragraph is also new. With the aim of helping to promote the Charter and improve knowledge about it, provision is made for reports and comments to be communicated on request, without this implying a duty for the national authorities or the Council of Europe to make these documents the subject of an actual publication.
Article 2
17. This article amends Article 24 pertaining to the examination of governmental reports by the Committee of Independent Experts, whose powers and functions it defines.
Paragraph 1
18. This paragraph reproduces the text of the existing Article 24 with some technical changes.
Paragraph 2
19. Like the two following paragraphs, this paragraph is new and represents one of the essential provisions of the Protocol. In conjunction with paragraphs 3 and 4 of the new Article 27, it is intended to express in the text of the Charter the new allocation of powers between the Committee of Independent Experts and the Governmental Committee (see paragraph 9 above). It therefore clearly states that the task of the Committee of Independent Experts is to assess national law and practice in relation to provisions under the Charter from a legal standpoint.
Paragraph 3
20. In this paragraph, provision is made for practical measures to introduce greater flexibility into the procedure, especially by helping to avoid misunderstandings which cause tension and delays between the Committee of Independent Experts and governments.
21. Accordingly, when examining a particular report, the Committee may get in touch directly with the government concerned in order to obtain information or clarifications without having to wait for the governments next report.
22. Similarly, the Committee may also hold a meeting with representatives of a Contracting Party. It was nevertheless considered that such meetings should remain the exception and that they should not be of a compulsory character.
23. Informing employers and workers (on a national and international level) in accordance with the last sentence may be done in various ways. Their organisations should at least be informed by the government concerned of the holding and outcome of the meeting. Moreover, it would be possible for a government to invite representatives of the organisations in its country, which satisfy the criteria of paragraph 1 of Article 23, to attend the meeting of the Committee of Independent Experts together with its own representatives.
Paragraph 4
24. Like paragraph 3 of Article 23 as amended, this paragraph is designed to promote the Charter and encourage better participation by the various bodies concerned, by providing for the widest possible publicity of the relevant work.
Article 3
25. As indicated above (paragraph 10), certain provisions in the Protocol are the direct result of the new distribution of powers between the Committee of Independent Experts and the Governmental Committee. The amendments to Article 25 are an illustration of this change. This article refers to the membership of the Committee of Independent Experts whose title is given official status here.
Paragraph 1
26. Between October 1988 and October 1991, six new states ratified the Charter, which represents a remarkable increase compared with past events. During the preparation of the Protocol it also became increasingly likely that the Additional Protocol of 1988 would enter into force in the near future, as in fact happened on 4 September 1992. As a result, many voices were raised to recommend, as did the Committee itself, an increase in the membership of the Committee of Independent Experts. This would enable it to have a more representative composition and to enjoy more satisfactory working conditions for coping with its workload.
27. Currently, the Committee of Independent Experts consists of "not more than seven members". Under the terms of this paragraph 1, the number is increased to nine, which is moreover regarded as a minimum ("at least nine members"). Thus, in order to meet new needs in the future without having to amend the text of the Charter each time, it is provided that the Committee of Ministers will fix the exact number of members of the Committee of Independent Experts.
28. In order to strengthen the independence of the Experts it is provided that they will no longer be appointed by the Committee of Ministers but elected by the Parliamentary Assembly from a list drawn up by the Contracting Parties.
Paragraph 2
29. The term of office of members of the Committee remains at six years but, in the future, it can be renewed only once.
30. The second sentence of this paragraph and the whole of paragraph 3 of the present text of Article 25 have been deleted because they have become superfluous, since the Committee of Independent Experts is already functioning and the system of partial renewal of membership is already operative.
Paragraph 3
31. This paragraph repeats the text of the existing paragraph 4, apart from a few technical changes.
Paragraph 4
32. This paragraph draws on the provisions recently incorporated into the European Convention on Human Rights by Protocol No. 8 (new Article 23 and Article 40, paragraph 7; see also Article 4, paragraph 7, of the European Convention for the Prevention of Torture and Inhuman or Degrading Treatment or Punishment). The provisions it contains are of course intended for each member of the Committee, but also for governments of Contracting Parties when they submit candidates for election.
Article 4
33. This article amends Article 27 which deals with the membership and duties of the Governmental Committee, whose title is also given official status here.
Paragraph 1
34. This paragraph supplements the present paragraph 1 by mentioning further documents to be communicated to the Governmental Committee, namely: the comments by national organisations of employers and workers on governmental reports; the governments comments in reply (Article 23, paragraph 1) and any further information provided on the occasion of a meeting of the Committee of Independent Experts with the representatives of a Contracting Party (Article 24, paragraph 3).
Paragraph 2
35. Compared with the present text, it should be noted that the number of representatives of international non-governmental organisations who may be consulted by the Governmental Committee is no longer limited to two. In addition, the qualifications of these INGOs are defined in more general terms, and examples have been omitted.
Paragraph 3
36. Like paragraph 2 of the new Article 24, this paragraph is another essential provision of the Protocol. It defines the powers of the Governmental Committee as described above in paragraph 9. Basically, the idea is to make a clear distinction between its powers and those of the Committee of Independent Experts, which is achieved above all in the words "on the basis of social, economic and other policy considerations", which contrasts with the expression "from a legal standpoint", contained in paragraph 2 of the new Article 24.
37. In the same spirit as the remarks made in paragraph 7.b above, the accent is placed here on the individual recommendations which should be adopted by the Committee of Ministers.
38. The last sentence corresponds to the existing paragraph 3, but some changes have been introduced. In view of the new powers assigned to each of the two committees, the report by the Committee of Independent Experts acquires a new status of its own and is no longer an appendix to the Governmental Committees report. Again with a view to promoting the Charter and making it more familiar to all those concerned (see paragraphs 16 and 24 above), the Governmental Committees reports will be made public.
Paragraph 4
39. This paragraph supplements the foregoing one by extending the functions of the Governmental Committee beyond those of a mere monitoring body. Accordingly, it will be able to submit proposals to the Committee of Ministers for the preparation of studies on social issues or on articles of the Charter in need of revision.
Article 5
40. This article in fact amends the original Article 29 of the Charter because, with a view to highlighting the fact that the Parliamentary Assembly will no longer intervene directly in the supervisory procedure, the order of Articles 28 and 29 has been inverted.
Paragraph 1
41. This paragraph is based on the text of Article 29 but introduces major amendments, all of which are designed to make it possible for the Committee of Ministers to adopt individual recommendations.
42. The present majority (two-thirds of the Council of Europe member states, whether or not they are Parties to the Charter), was found to constitute an obstacle, since a few abstentions might prevent the required majority from being achieved. States not party to the Charter have indeed tended to abstain. For this reason, the new rule provides that only Contracting Parties may take part in the voting and that the two-thirds majority will be based on those voting (no account being taken of abstentions).
43. In order to highlight the need for the Committee of Minister to adopt individual recommendations taking account of the proposals by the Governmental Committee, the wording has been made more binding: "shall adopt ... individual recommendations", instead of "may ... make ... any necessary recommendations".
44. It is specified that the resolution adopted by the Committee of Ministers shall cover "the entire supervision cycle" as the recommendations will concern only some of the provisions that have been monitored.
45. In accordance with what was stated above in paragraph 40 and which has been made explicit in the new Article 29, the obligation on the Committee of Ministers to consult the Parliamentary Assembly has been discarded.
Paragraph 2
46. With regard to the functions to be performed by the Committee of Ministers, this paragraph corresponds to paragraph 4 of the new Article 27.
Article 6
47. From the very outset of the work on the Protocol, the representatives of the Parliamentary Assembly on the Charte-Rel Committee expressed the wish that the Assemblys role should be changed: it should no longer be a supervisory body as such, systematically verifying the application of all the provisions of the Charter for all Contracting Parties; rather, it should organise periodic debates on selected topics of social policy. This change should allow the Assembly to express its point of view on the action resulting from the Charter in the light of major debates on social policy, without necessarily being tied by the timetable of the control procedure. The said procedure would thereby be simplified and speeded up.
48. This new conception of the Assemblys role is spelt out in Article 6 of the Protocol, which in effect amends the present Article 28 of the Charter. As already pointed out (paragraph 40 above), the order of Articles 28 and 29 has been inverted to bring out more clearly that the Assembly, although still associated with the implementation of the Charter, is no longer implicated in the supervisory procedure as such.
Articles 7 to 9
49. These articles, which contain the final clauses of the Protocol, correspond to the models adopted by the Committee of Ministers of the Council of Europe.
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I appreciate your efforts in writing this article & don't mean to disparage you, but there's so much information that goes into this discussion & people need to be prepared ahead of time. One very important note is to make sure that nothing in the CBD will be contraindicated with many prescription medications, especially for diabetes, hypertension, blood thinners & anti-platelets for example. If a company's website says their formula is a "proprietary blend", call before you buy, please!
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Finally, in general, we almost always recommend full spectrum tinctures over supplements made from isolates (extracts of CBD alone). Full-spectrum or whole plant tinctures take advantage of the 'entourage effect' that comes from combining all the naturally occurring chemicals found in the hemp plant. Isolates are great for cooking with CBD or consumers that are especially sensitive to the taste of hemp extract, but some research suggests they may be less effective for certain uses than full spectrum extracts. All but two of the brands below are made from full spectrum hemp, and the exceptions are clearly noted.
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As a consumer, you can look at the manufacturer's website to see whether they batch-test their products, or ask them directly. You could also send a sample of your CBD oil to a testing facility yourself, something Bonn-Miller says he would do if he were trying to treat someone with a severe issue such as epilepsy. Testing can also determine whether the product contains pesticides, heavy metals, or other toxins.
Our bodies are thought to produce endocannabinoids by the billions every day. "We always thought the 'runner's high' was due to the release of dopamine and endorphins. But now we know the euphoria is also from an endocannabinoid called anandamide," its name derived from the Sanskrit word for bliss, says Joseph Maroon, M.D., clinical professor and vice chairman of neurosurgery at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center. We produce these natural chemicals all day, but they fade quickly because enzymes pop up to destroy them. That's where CBD comes in: By blocking these enzymes, CBD allows the beneficial compounds to linger. This is why Amanda Oliver, 31, a career consultant in Charleston, SC, pops a CBD gummy bear each night before bed. "I used to lie there tossing and turning as my mind raced from work projects to whether I had set the home alarm," Oliver says. One piece of candy with 15 mg of CBD is enough to shut off her brain and facilitate sleep. She also swears by the CBD oil she takes at the height of her period, which she says quells her debilitating cramps.
There's a growing body of scientific evidence to support the use of topical CBD products to ease pain, inflammation, and the symptoms of arthritis. One study using rats found that topical CBD has "therapeutic potential for relief of arthritis pain-related behaviours and inflammation without evident side-effects." More scientific research on humans is needed to confirm all of CBD's benefits, but the initial research into topical use in humans is also promising.


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By TSUYOSHI KAWAMURA
October 29, 2018 at 18:15 JST
TANEGASHIMA ISLAND, Kagoshima Prefecture--An H-2A rocket blasted off from the Tanegashima Space Center here on Oct. 29 and sent into orbit Japan's most accurate satellite for monitoring greenhouse gas emissions.
The Greenhouse gases Observing SATellite-2 Ibuki-2 (GOSAT-2) reached its scheduled orbit about 20 minutes after the 1:08 p.m. liftoff of the H-2A Launch Vehicle No. 40.
The Ibuki-2 was jointly developed by the Japan Aerospace Exploration Agency, the Environment Ministry and the National Institute for Environmental Studies.
The total cost of the project, including launch, is about 44 billion yen ($393 million).
"Ibuki" means "breath" or "puff" in Japanese.
Carbon dioxide (CO2) and methane in the atmosphere absorb light of particular wavelengths. From an altitude of about 600 kilometers, the satellite will calculate concentrations of CO2 and other substances in the atmosphere by monitoring these wavelengths of the reflected light and other factors.
According to JAXA, the satellite can detect 0.5 parts per million in CO2 observations, eight times more accurate than its predecessor, the first-generation Ibuki, which was launched in 2009.
Ibuki-2 is also about seven times more accurate for calculating methane concentrations.
Takeshi Hirabayashi, project manager of JAXA's GOSAT-2 mission, said the satellite is so accurate that it could detect a concentration change in about 200 liters of liquid, or about the volume of a bathtub, if two drops of eye lotion, or about 1 milliliter, are inserted.
Under the 2015 Paris Agreement, signatory nations aim to phase out net greenhouse gas emissions by the second half of the century and limit global warming to "well below" 2 degrees above pre-industrial levels.
The nations are required to report the amounts of their greenhouse gases discharged.
The information collected by the Ibuki-2 will help those countries more accurately calculate their emission data, an Environment Ministry official said.
Featured here are videos, photos and graphics on how journalists dug into documents leaked from Bermuda and elsewhere to uncover shady transactions through tax havens.
Here are reports about efforts in Japan and abroad to achieve the U.N. sustainable development goals.
Here are news reports and feature stories that keep you up to date on author Haruki Murakami.
You can view videos of animals as interactive images that allow you to pan and zoom in to them.


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Dear Diary...
Rodrick insisted that today's round of pool drinks be held at the Paris. "Bad stuff always seems to happen at the Aladdin pool," he explained. Well, hey! I'm flexible.
No - not in that way!
Anyway, we hadn't even finished the first round when messengers arrived from Lord Las Vegas Hilton looking for Lords Aladdin and Paris. They had with them a proposal for a change in The Law. It's been proposed that Thunderdome be replaced with the People's Court. I'm so glad to see that the Cats are expanding their knowledge of old, pre-Change TV Shows. Oh well, I guess it could be worse - it could have been the Gong Show. In this version, the audience at the old Thunderdome arena will be the defendant's Jury of Peers.
Olivia said, "This might be a step up."
The petitioners will each receive three minutes on record to address the court. During that time, they will be under the influence of a device or spell that will allow the judge and 'jury' to see if the petitioner is being truthful or not. The witness stand will double as an electrified chair that will dispense shocks (starting at 'painful' and working up to 'excruciatingly painful') for every falsehood that is spoken. When both sides have had their turn, the presiding judge will advise the jury as to what The Law pertaining to the case is, and then the jury will vote. If warranted, punishment will be handed down and if called for, executions will be held right then and there. Anyway, all the Overlords are going to have three days to think about this proposed change before a vote is taken.
"I don't know " Rodrick said, "it's missing something."
"Maybe a rider?" Olivia suggested. "Stating that if both parties involved agree, Thunderdome can still be used? Make it a joint rider? You and I?"
"Exactly," Rodrick agreed. Allison provided them with pen and paper and they composed the rider. "But no lawyers!" Rodrick said. "If anyone starts yelling 'Lawyer!' we'll administer our own sort of bar exam." They signed the rider and gave it to the messengers to deliver. When they were gone, Allison advised that there was a group of petitioners who were hoping to speak to Rodrick.
"About what?"
"They would like you to sponsor their Extreme Adventuring Team."
"Ok, let's see 'em," he agreed. "We'll judge them on a scale of one to eight."
"Eight?" I asked.
"They can't beat us, right?"
Allison escorted out a group of seven people of mixed races. Six of them were wearing flashy, multi-colored armor and were wearing shiny lame capes. The one without the getup introduced himself as Abercrombie (or, as I'm going to call him, "Abe". I refuse to keep writing Abercrombie. What a name - his parents must have been horrid people).
"And Finch?" Rodrick asked.
"Like I've never heard that?" Abe said. "I am the agent for the Extreme Adventuring Team, Slaughterhouse!"
"No adventuring group has an agent and that name really sucks," Rodrick pointed out.
But Abe disagreed. "No! According to market research - it is exactly the type of name that most appeals to our target demographics."
Rodrick looked him over and said, "You used to be an accountant, didn't you?"
Olivia completely ignored Abe and asked the other six to hold out their hands. She looked them over and a few of them had some calluses. "Have any of you ever swung a sword?"
One, a male human said, "I was in the fencing club in high school and we've all been taking classes in fight choreography."
Rodrick told them, "I may sponsor you, if you can beat oh say him," and he pointed towards one of his men.
"My money's on Rodrick's man," I said.
Olivia wanted clarification, "Beat him with what? Guns? Hand to hand?"
"Hand to hand." But the fencer refused to take part, saying something about being too valuable a commodity to risk and not wanting to harm an 'amateur'.
"Too late!" I said, "Round one, about to start. Ding, ding, ding!" Fencer insisted that he would only take part in a controlled 'event'. "This is controlled, you - him - kicking ass. Right here, right now," I said.
Olivia said, "You can't expect Lord Paris to invest money in you until you prove you can beat up one guy."
"You're wasting our time," I said. "Fight or leave."
"Yeah! My ice is melting," Olivia said.
Rodrick told him, "Fight, him or me, your choice."
"We have to have rules," Fencer insisted, "nothing to the face or below the belt."
Rodrick said, "Sorry, but I'm going to have to decline a sponsorship. You wouldn't last two days."
"Not even half that long," I snorted.
Rodrick said to Olivia, "We should form our own team. Between my guys and Karyn's people, they'd kick butt."
Finally a smallish Human woman decked out in Day-Glo Mage robes stomped a foot and yelled, "Go hit him, Fred!"
"Yeah, Fred! Hit someone!" I hollered.
Fencer (err, Fred) snapped, "My name is Thunder!"
"Okay - you - Thunder! Go. Hit. Him."
"Oh, all right," Fred said. "But no facial contact."
Rodrick's man, Nick, stepped forward after handing his weapon to the man standing next to him.
Fred asked him, "How do we begin?"
"We show respect to our opponent by bowing," and he bowed deeply to Fred. Fred returned the bow and Nick kicked him in the jewels. Fred fell, clutching himself and crying, to the floor. Nick looked at him and said, "Dude! Don't you wear a cup?"
"Yes," Fred squeaked.
Rodrick said to the gal in the Mage robes, "You've got some cojones - you could teach Fred to be a man."
"That wasn't very sporting," she said, all the time gathering Magic. Olivia and I could Feel it and readied ourselves to take her on, if necessary. But when she had all she could muster, she sent it towards Nick in the form of electric bolts that left him writhing in pain.
Rodrick and I both went to his side as Olivia said, "Teach me that!"
The Mage smiled and said, "Sponsor us and I will."
"How much to sponsor you?" Olivia asked.
Abe said, "Wait a minute! No one talks to them. Talk to me about any and all sponsorship opportunities."
"Allison, see this man to the door," Rodrick said.
Abe rushed to say, "Each one of them has a contract with me, and each other."
"Allison, show them all to the door," I said.
Olivia said to the Mage, "You could teach me later, for cash, but I can't sponsor someone who'd fall for such an obvious trick."
"We can talk about this," Abe tried.
Olivia demanded that one of Rodrick's men replace Fred on the team, then she'd sponsor them.
Rodrick nodded, "Make some personnel changes and then we'll talk."
"But marketing has shown us the public's heroic ideal," Abe said. "And that's him."
"But he's got to be able to kick ass," Olivia said.
"He doesn't even look like a fighter," Rodrick said.
Olivia asked the rest of the group what they all do and they introduced themselves:
Fred (Thunder) was the fighter in the group (Corellon help them!) The Mage's name is Sinthia. There was a really good-looking Gold Elf who introduced himself as 'Heartbreaker', the Archer. I couldn't help it - I excused myself, went around a corner and had myself a good laugh. I stopped in time to hear the Dwarf (with an axe strapped to his back) introduce himself as Rock - something. He was followed by a black, female Halfling dressed in a skintight leather cat suit. Her name was Silk and she introduced herself as a thief.
The last one was a human male, very soft-spoken, who introduced himself as Father Donovan. "I was ordained just two weeks before things fell apart. I generally let them speak for me. I have no familiarity with this sort of thing but I hold a third Dan black belt in Tae Kwan Do. I learned before I entered the seminary. I'm only in this for the money, for charitable purposes."
Olivia told him, "Jazz works with Fr. Matthew, from St. Joan's, on some projects."
"Yes, I've met him, he's a good man," Fr. Donovan said.
Abe interrupted, "Your name isn't Fr. Donovan - it's 'Padre', got it?"
Olivia asked the group, "Do you people really think you're prepared? That you have a chance?"
The Dwarf (Rock) grunted, "Yes."
"But only because the other teams are just as bad," The Archer said.
"At least he's honest ," I said to Rodrick and Olivia.
Olivia told them, "I'll sponsor you if you replace your fighter and change the team name."
Abe was indignant; "We can't do that! We've already begun a publicity campaign, a change now could be disastrous."
"The name is disastrous," Olivia said.
Rodrick said, "It reminds me of Kansas and pig farms."
"Face it," Olivia told him, "you're only getting this much of our time because you're amusing."
Rodrick asked Abe, "What is Thunder's job, precisely?"
"He takes point. Breaks down doors, that sort of thing."
"And did you audition him?" Rodrick asked.
"Oh my God!" I said, "That means that there were people worse than him!"
Olivia asked, "Can he actually do anything?"
Rodrick looked him over; "He's big - so he can probably break a door. With some training he might be okay. Fred, uh - 'Thunder', how about spending a week or two training with my men?"
"But we need money now," Abe said. "For better weapons and armor."
"How much?" Olivia inquired.
"$500,000.00 to begin with." Abe said.
I spit my margarita across the pool. "What did you just say?!?"
"What do Lord Paris and I get in return?" Olivia asked. "Part of the winnings?"
"Oh, no! But we'll display your casino names on our costumes."
"And that does what for us?" she asked.
"Publicity," Abe said like we were all dimwitted.
"I run prostitution in this town. People have no choice BUT to know who I am and to come to me. Same for banking - Lord Paris has got that all sewn up." Olivia said. She paused and added; "I want to see them all do something."
"Right! Make them prove themselves," I said. "Make them face some of your people and some of Rodrick's in a gauntlet. All we've seen so far is some bad costumes." I was all wound up and just let it fly. "You've got a fighter who won't fight, a mage with one spell that we know of - don't get me wrong, it's a good one, but it wouldn't be the first time we've run across a mage with a repertoire of only one spell - and a Cleric who seems embarrassed to be with you. The Elf carries that bow well, but can he use it? Then there's the Dwarf, who's apparently short for a living."
Well, I guess I went too far with that. Rock got all pissed off and used his axe to cleave a table in two. Did I stop? No - I was on a roll. "That's a great move - if they're gonna pay you to fight furniture!" Rodrick's men put themselves between us (okay - Rodrick) and Rock, who was still brandishing the axe and advancing. Rodrick laughed at the sight - the guy had chutzpah!
Padre grabbed Rock (not to stop him - but to get his attention); "You're not going to impress anyone by getting yourself killed!"
I calmed down and apologized. "Sir Dwarf, I am sorry to have insulted you. I got upset and got carried away." He calmed down, but kept grumbling.
Olivia asked Sinthia if she could do any other spells and she claimed that she could. Olivia used a ring to 'test' her and all she really learned was that there was something 'off' about Sinthia's magic. Olivia thought for a moment, called the Aladdin and ordered Karyn to conduct a survey of the employees - would it be a morale boost if they had a team to cheer for?
Getting a little desperate, Abe asked us, "What sort of demonstration would satisfy you?"
"A display of archery," Olivia said, "we've seen the mage at work."
"And we've seen that the Dwarf isn't just a short guy," I said. "What about the Thief? Is she any good?"
Abe thought for a bit, "Three days from now - at our training facilities?"
"Three days from now, here, in our training facilities," Rodrick countered.
Before Abe could say a thing, Olivia said, "Be warned: if you shop yourselves around to anyone else, the deal is off."
"We have the right " Abe tried.
"If you shop yourselves " and she let the threat hang.
I pointed out, "Don't forget - you need them more than they need you."
Abe said, "We contacted others before coming here, but we won't make any new contacts."
"You're boring us," Olivia said, "go away." She started making shooing gestures at him. The guards started for him and he backed down.
"Very good," Abe said. "Thank you. Three days. Thank you. Lovely home you have here." The guards marched them out and shut the doors behind them. Yay! They were finally gone. Thank Corellon!
Over lunch it was decided that Rodrick's people would assemble a gauntlet for the team to face. Karyn reported that her survey revealed that the Aladdin employees were really quite unsure about the whole concept and wondered why they (the team) weren't out working. Why were they pretending to be heroes when they should be out working for a living?
I thought that summed it all up, quite nicely.
Olivia and I made the trek (next door) to the Paris for the big audition. Leo claimed he had something else to do, "But tell me all about it." I don't think he really meant that.
Slaughterhouse showed up with a camera crew, makeup and hair people. While they primped, Rodrick gave the Koboblds he hired for the job some last minute instructions, "Don't hurt them too much." Then he posted some of his men thru the gauntlet, just to make sure no one actually got killed. When he took his seat, we asked him how he got the Kobolds to agree to do this.
"They get freedom and transport out of the casino basement, out of Vegas to a place of their choosing."
When the team was done with hair and makeup they got a look at the Kobolds. "Oh come on!" Fred objected, "You've got to give us something tougher than this. This is embarrassing."
"You took the words right out of my mouth," I said. "Look - you've got to walk before you can run."
Before they started into the rooms, Olivia interrogated Abe and he admitted that they'd heard from two parties that had been contacted before she and Rodrick, "But they initiated the contact - not us!" One claimed to have a potential investor who wanted an exclusive evaluation period. The second party was upset when they heard that Abe had contacted Rodrick and Olivia.
Olivia waved him away and the test began. We were seated a level above so we could look down at the 'action'.
The first room had a locked door and Silk handled it with no problems then Thunder (no Fred - he is such a Fred) led them thru it and into a hallway. And in the hall a Kobold had hidden and tried to snipe at them with a crossbow. In a flash he was pinned to the wall by two arrows thru his clothing. The kobold looked stunned, but he wasn't even nicked.
So the Elf did know what he was doing with that bow, and he could look stylish while doing it! All in all - he is the very model of a modern Elven Archer.
In the next room Silk stopped the party.
She looked.
She listened.
She gestured, moving Fred one way and then the other, "There. No! Back a tiny bit more."
And she deftly maneuvered him right onto a land mine. Thankfully it was only loaded with paint. As Fred wiped Canary Yellow paint from his eyes Silk smiled sweetly and said, "Boom! You're dead, Fred!"
"But that's not fair!" he protested.
"I know," she admitted. "But I've wanted to do that for so long now."
Fred objected the fairness again.
Olivia told him, "Fred - sit down. You don't get to talk now."
So with Fred in Adventurers Time Out, Rock took point and led them to the next room where they walked into a full-scale melee. He swung the door open - saw the Kobolds charge and slammed the door shut again. He gave the rest of the team a silent three count and kicked the door back open, sending Kobolds flying. The entire team (minus Padre, who hung out in the back) waded into the room and started fighting. They didn't do too badly and made it out of the room.
The next to last room had even more Kobolds in it and they were piling furniture against the door to keep the team out. One of them was kneeling in the middle of the room, praying. As he prayed, his hands were moving in an odd fashion. It finally hit me - he was acting as if he were holding a rosary. As he prayed I could Feel Power start to rise. Suddenly an image of Saint Jude appeared and the Kobolds each grew about three feet.
Silk was kneeling at the door to the room, testing the lock when Olivia stood and yelled, "Hold on, everybody!" She went down to the room and we followed. She asked the Kobold who'd been praying, "You a Priest or something?"
He shrugged, "I went to Catholic school and remembered a few things. It seemed like a good idea at the time."
One of his comrades kicked him, "If someone asks if you're a Priest - say, 'yes'!" Then he turned to Olivia, "He's a Priest and we're his followers - does that get us out of here?"
"You know, I can tell if you're lying," Olivia told him.
The one who'd been praying said, "Look, we don't want to be here. We needed food." And he went on a rant about how no one likes them and how everyone thinks that they're expendable, like rats.
Olivia listened and asked, "So what can you do?"
"I can metabolize just about anything."
"What does that mean?"
"They can eat anything," I said.
"Well, that's not a real marketable skill," Olivia said.
"What else can we do? We haul your garbage away (and some of it really is kind of tasty)."
"Oh! I really didn't need to hear that," Olivia told him.
"This is only a job. Practice, really," the Kobold said. "Practice for that show. The producer is hiring us."
Olivia asked, "What do you get if you win?"
"Food. Sunshine. Skin lotion. So, are we going to fight these guys or what?"
"Do you want to?" she said.
"Want? No. We want to get out of here."
Olivia repeatedly asked him if they would do some honest work for a living to get out of the basements but never got a straight answer. She went on to ask each of them the same question and got the run around from all of them. Finally she gave up and ordered the Kobolds to stand aside and tried to summon a couple giant wolverines to take their place. That's what she asked for, anyway.
There was a rainbow of lights along the ceiling and the clip-clopping of approaching hoof beats, followed by music and women's voices raised in song. A bright flash filled the room and suddenly, standing in the room were six heavily armed people. Dead people. They were wearing sparkly armor and all had hideous looking wounds visible. All things considered, they looked pretty damn cheerful.
"What did you do?" I asked her.
"I have no idea," she admitted. "What are you?" she asked them. They ignored her and assumed battle stances. Olivia scooted out of the way, "Okay, then - continue!"
As she was getting out of the way, I received a message from Corellon, "Be prepared to rescue the Archer, if need be. I have given him all the proper Elven skills. Skills that he chooses to use. They should not be wasted." I ignored the jab and readied myself to protect Pretty Boy.
The group signaled that they were ready and Rock threw the door open and surveyed the new residents. He let the door slam shut again and told his teammates, "We're fucked!"
Sinthia asked, "Could you be more specific?"
"We need serious professional help. Backup. Air support would be nice." the Dwarf said.
Padre took a bandage from his kit, tied it to his mace, opened the door and waved it. He saw the Dead Guys and said, "Gentlemen? How are you, today?" Then he slammed the door shut.
The Dead Guys all laughed and one yelled, "Let us know when you're ready!"
Rock asked Sinthia, "Please - tell me you have a spell for this?"
"Hmmm, no."
"But the electricity thing ."
"Not so much gonna work on them," she insisted.
The Archer said, "Well, we could probably get a couple of them."
Rock ignored that and asked Padre, "Can you summon something to fight them?"
Padre just shook his head.
Rodrick whispered, "Maybe they should toss the Dwarf."
The Dwarf asked, "Could you cast a spell to resurrect Thunder?"
"No!" Sinthia snapped.
"Padre? Can you pray to get him back?"
Padre said, "Two things. One - it's up to the judges and Two - it's not likely to happen too often."
Olivia sent a message to Rodrick, "Let Fred back in the game."
"Fred!" he yelled, "You're in!"
"No, I'm not. I'm dead."
I said, "You're feeling much better, it was just a flesh wound and you've been healed."
Rodrick walked over to him, "Allison, please send someone to get my two handed axe for Fred."
Allison said, "It's already here, with the rest of your gear, my Lord," she said. "Um, did you mean 'let him use it' or 'I'm going to use it on him'?"
Rodrick told Fred, "You're out of here."
"Hey!" Fred objected, "this is nothing but a paycheck - what are all of you people smoking? I spent three years in Hollywood as a stuntman - this is a part I was born to play, but it's only a part."
"Then you shouldn't be here," Rodrick said.
Olivia asked Fred, "Did you ever stop to wonder why they're called 'Death Sports'?"
Fred tried to explain how everything is scripted; "No one is going to die, for God's sake!"
Olivia was outraged and ordered everything to a halt again while she placed a call to Lord Mirage.
I told her, "More than likely - that's what they're telling these people, Olivia, to get contestants."
Mirage finally got on the phone and confirmed that. He said that things are scripted until the fighting begins. Once the fighting begins, only medieval type weapons will be allowed.
"They really should read their contracts. And all of the clauses."
Then he told Olivia what a mistake she'd made, giving up the domain; "This is going to be huge!" Olivia ordered everything to begin again and it appeared that the team had come up with a plan in the meantime.
Rock yelled thru the closed door, "We're ready now!"
The Dead Guys resumed their combat positions, as did the team. Rock was on point and the archer in the back. Rock kicked the door open and the archer loosed some arrows. Then he and the Dwarf engaged the first couple fighters. They fought well but were pushed back thru the door. Padre fell back and began to recite the Mass for the Dead. Suddenly the Dead Guys seemed to hit a wall and couldn't move any closer to the team. Sinthia had been gathering her Power and finally did something with it. She let it loose and all weapons belonging to the Dead Guys turned into plowshares. Full size wooden plows.
The archer and the Dwarf pressed their attack - pushing the Dead Guys backwards, slowly across the room until the team had reached the exit. Once the team was thru the door, Padre released the barrier that was holding the Dead Guys. They laughed, clapped and bowed to the team and then they left the same way they arrived.
While his team caught their breath Abe asked, "So. Did we pass your test?"
"We?" I asked, "I didn't see you down there."
Rodrick said, "Everyone except Fred."
Olivia told the team; "Fred was given the choice to rejoin you for the final room but declined."
The archer said, "He shouldn't have been given the choice."
"Well he was - sort of another test - and his answer should tell you something about his character," I said.
Rodrick asked the archer, "If you had been given the opportunity, would you have rejoined them or would you claim that you were only in it for a paycheck?"
"We're a team," was his answer.
Fred threw up his hands, "Fine! I'll go! I was offered a position as the first backup for the Undertakers."
Rodrick laughed, "After this performance they may change their minds." Fred ignored that, removed his armor, handed it to Abe and left without another word. Rodrick asked if any of his men were interested in taking Fred's spot on the team - a couple said that they'd think about it and let him know.
So Olivia and Rodrick agreed to sponsor the team when they had a new fighter (a fighter that they had final approval on).
The Archer walked over to me and said, "I noticed you watching me."
"Oh really?"
"Yes. And I couldn't help noticing you. You're pretty noticeable," he said.
Hey Shakespeare - watch out!
So what was I supposed to say to him? If I admit that I was watching him - he'd get the wrong idea. If I admit that I was watching him because Corellon has an interest in him - he might become insufferable. So I went with, "I just wanted to make sure you didn't embarrass the entire Elven race."
He smiled, "Sounds like we have some celebrating to do. Would you like to go to dinner with me tonite?"
I pointed to my wedding ring, "See this? I'm married. Happily."
"To a Navy SEAL," Olivia added.
He said, "Oh, I know about that - I just don't care."
"You don't care?" I was flabbergasted.
"I figure that both you and he must have accepted that he has a much shorter life-span than you and I. and that tells me that you've found someone you like - now," he explained. "I'm thinking long run here, we can be friends now and then later on "
Olivia had pulled Sinthia aside and I heard her say, "You might want to shut him up. He is seriously jeopardizing your sponsorship - that's my brother he's talking about. She's my sister-in-law, the future mother of my nieces and nephews."
"What do you want me to do?" Sinthia asked. "Tackle him?"
He was still going on, "I was just thinking, you know, a nice quiet dinner. Future old friends having dinner to get to know each other better."
Olivia yelled, "Yo! Elf Boy! Stop talking now or I'll beat the crap out of you. You're talking about my baby brother and he'll kick your ass, too."
He ignored her and asked me, "So?"
"You're persistent, I'll give you that. But, as I told the last person rude enough to mention my husband's mortality to my face - I have a plan that I'm working on." I wanted to hurt him, I really did.
Padre and Rock pulled him away and kept him away while Abe finished some paperwork with Rodrick and Olivia. Finally they were all gone and Olivia asked why I hadn't 'taken care of' Elf Boy, so I explained Corellon's interest in him.
"Bummer," Rodrick said.
Later, at dinner, Leo asked how things went with the tryout. I told him, "Pretty good. Most of the team was worthwhile and they got rid of the weenus. But the big news is that I met my next husband."
"That's nice dear," he said as he passed me the bread. "Your 'next husband' as in, 'Good evening dear, how open-minded are you?'"
I said, "He didn't really mention that possibility - but no, it's more like my next husband just as soon "
"as you kick the bucket," Rodrick finished for me.
"Yeah - like that."
"I hope you told him no," Leo said, "that we've reached an agreement that when I go there will be an appropriate period of mourning."
"Am I going to have to wear black forever?" I asked. "It's not my color."
Leo nodded, "Oh yes. And Olivia, as my sister, will tell you how long you will have to sit shiva."
"Ashes on my head?"
"Need you ask? And I really think that you should consider joining a convent where you'll be allowed the time to contemplate the time we had " He was cut off at that point by all the laughter from the table.
When everyone was done I said, "The only reason that I didn't hurt him for being so insufferable was because I had just made a promise to Corellon that I'd watch out for him. I figured that could get me in big trouble."
Leo got a 'look', set his fork down and asked, "Were you telling me this because you want me to kick his ass?"
"Well yes." I admitted.
He put on his very best SEAL face, "Did did the sonuvabitch touch you? Did he?"
"No, he was just verbally rude."
Olivia piped up with, "When she bent over for something - he looked down her blouse!"
"He did not," I said.
"And when she turned around - he grabbed her ass!" Rodrick added.
"You guys! Stop it! Leo - you can't kill him. I'll be in big trouble. I'm going to be in enough trouble as it is," I said.
Leo said, "Kill him? Of course not, he'll never learn anything if I kill him." He stood and said, "So where do I find this guy?"
"I don't know. Rodrick, you saw the paperwork " I said.
But he just shrugged, "I don't know."
"It wasn't on the paperwork?" I asked.
"I don't know."
I asked, "You don't know or you won't tell?"
Rodrick said, "I'm sponsoring the guy's team, I don't want anything to happen to him. He was pretty good."
"Padre seems to know his stuff - he'll get Healed in time to compete," I told him.
Leo looked at Rodrick, "Let me get this straight. You're sponsoring this guy's unwanted advances on my wife?"
"No. I'm pretty sure he would have done it if we sponsored them or not," Rodrick said.
"But you do need to hurt him, Leo, it was pre-meditated rudeness. He knew that we're married."
Leo said, "Rodrick - this is a predicament. Normally I would call you, as a friend, to see if you would like to help out."
"Well I'm sort of his boss. I could take him aside for a pep talk," Rodrick suggested.
"A pep talk? He was doing just fine," I said.
Rodrick shook his head, "No. A 'pep talk'." Well we finally got Rodrick to admit that the whole team is staying at the Mirage.
Leo asked me, "Is this more like what you had in mind?"
"Oh yes, thank you!"
"Feel better?"
"Oh yes, he irked me so."
Leo got some paper and a pen, "So what's this guy's name?"
I looked at Olivia and we laughed! "Heartbreaker," we said.
"Umm, okay," Leo said, but wrote it down, "and he's an Elf - right?"
"Yep, a Gold Elf, like me. Long blonde hair. Nice hair. Perfect hair."
Leo nodded, "So I need to find a gay-looking Elf. This could take a while.."
"With a bow," I added. "And he's really very good with it."
Leo pocketed his note and said, "Well, that narrows it down a little..Now. If I get arrested for this "
"I will come bail you out," I promised. "Even though you didn't bail me out of jail - I will come get you if you get arrested for me."
"That was different," Leo insisted, "you were enjoying the whole 'experience'."
"Good point," I allowed.
Once he was gone, I borrowed Olivia's crystal ball so I could see the whole thing and everyone ended up watching. Leo strolled (as much as Leo can stroll) into the lobby of the Mirage, approached the first security person he saw and said in his most polite voice, "Good evening. I'm Leo Mitchell, brother to Lord Aladdin. A guest of this establishment insulted my wife earlier today and I'm here to kick his ass." Back at home, my toes curled.
The guard said, "Umm, okay. Could you wait here for a minute?" and left.
A few minutes later, Lord Mirage himself arrived in the lobby, "What's going on?" he asked. "I'm extending you this courtesy because Aladdin is your sister, now why are you here?"
Leo consulted his notes and calmly explained, "I am here to find a Mr. Heartbreaker. I have to kick his ass."
Mirage was nonplussed, "I see. May I ask why?"
"Earlier today he hit on my wife even though he knew she was married. He was warned off but continued anyway." Again, my toes curled. But he was continuing, "Normally, I'm a peaceful guy and this situation pains me - but I can't let him get away with it. If I do, there will be no respect for me. And if they don't respect me - people will feel free to disrespect my wife."
More toe curling.
"I have nothing against this guy, it's the principal of the thing, I must make an example of him," Leo said.
Mirage took it all in and then nodded, "Of course, I understand, she's your wife. You absolutely have to do this. I'll have him brought down to you. Since this is a private matter, we'll take it out of the lobby."
As they moved to a private meeting room Leo thanked Mirage for his understanding in the matter.
Heartbreaker walked in and immediately said, "I have to tell you that I'm, really sorry about this this misunderstanding. The character that I'm supposed to be playing is a real Don Juan and some of the side stories involve him getting into trouble because of it."
Leo merely looked at him so Heartbreaker continued, "I was simply trying to extend the roll that I've been cast into."
Leo nodded and asked, "So you weren't really hitting on my wife?"
"Right! I knew you'd understand; it was my character, not me."
"Oh .okay," Leo said agreeably. Then he punched him. Hard. In the stomach. That's when I Heard something from Corellon. Not the condemnation that I was expecting, but more of a groan of disappointment. I can live with that. Heartbreaker doubled over, gasping and wheezing. Leo put an am around his shoulder, "Tell me - does your stomach hurt or does your character's stomach hurt?" Then he grabbed him by the scruff of the neck and shoved his head thru a wall.
Olivia muttered, "I'm going to get a bill for that."
"I'll pay for the damages," I assured her.
Leo pulled him out of the wall, slapped his face to get his attention and asked Mirage, "Do I have this right? This show is a combination of soap opera, pro wrestling and killing people?"
Mirage said, "I like to call it, 'The life and death struggle of the day to day life of the Urban Adventurer'."
"Sure, I see that," Leo said and turned back to Heartbreaker, waiving his finger to see if his eyes could follow - they did. Then he checked Heartbreaker's nose - it was attached. He handed Heartbreaker over to Mirage, thanked him, and bid him a good evening. When he got back to the Aladdin, Leo told me everything had gone well. "He seems to understand his error. He knows better; it's just that you're so so "
"Don't go there," I warned him.
"You're so much "
"Radiance of beauty and sex goddesness," Rodrick finished.
"Exactly!" Leo said.
"Oh please!"
Rodrick got serious, took Allison hand in his and said, "If it had been Allison, there would have been broken legs, but I understand you restrained yourself." I bet her toes curled.
I told him, "He restrained himself because I asked him to and he is my hero." Then I asked Leo, "Are you ready to be rewarded?"
"What are you going to give him?" Rodrick asked.
"None of your business," I told him.
Leo asked, "Well, shall we retire to our room and renew the connubial bliss?"
Then he picked me up and did the Rhett Butler thing.
My toes curled.


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