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Conversation Café :: Guidelines
Read how Vicki Robin "invented" the Conversation Café.
Listen to and respect all points of view.
Now who is going to admit to being closed-minded? We all like to think of ourselves as tolerant, but our minds are veritable pachinko machines of barriers to hearing other people, with lights and bells going off every time some hot topic or sore subject is touched. Being open-minded isn't just being nice or forbearing. It's far more radical–and freeing. It's turning off the Pachinko machine enough to actually hear something new from someone other than your own reactive mind. The purpose of the Cafés–and perhaps the purpose of existence–is not just to survive but learn and grow. We aren't sitting there to tolerate the other. We're sitting there to allow the other to enter our minds and perchance to bring in something fresh to our musty opinions.
Suspend judgment as best you can.
It doesn't say, "Thou shalt not judge. Judging is bad." It's friendlier and more realistic. It says do the best you can–given that our minds are busy judging most of the time. Good/bad, ugly/pretty, like/don't like, better/worse, blah/blah. Many years ago I noticed that whenever I went into a new group of people, my normally very easy-going mind bristled with judgments. My mind had something snotty to say about everyone. Everyone. Later I'd notice that by the end of the event, I'd be in love with nearly every one of those judged people. Had they changed? Had I? Or had my judgments? What changed, actually, was how at ease I felt. My judgments were my porcupine quills sprung to attention in strange situations. When I relaxed, my quills drooped and I was approachable unto pettable. After a while, even one quill at half mast told me I was just scared and I could let it go and meet people. In Conversation Cafés–as in life– uspending judgment as best you can allows you to get on with turning strangers into friends.
Seek to understand rather than persuade.
This agreement is heresy for all of us good people who feel called to change the world. And how, pray tell, can we change it without persuasion? It's a war for eyeballs out there. Sound-bytes and marketing are our weapons. We need to win. Perhaps, though, winning through intimidation or even through persuasion is part of the old domination – not bodies but minds. What if our cause were to "seek to understand" one another's ideas and lives and longings? What if, out of that, we'd discover how much we didn't understand one another at all. Many times we attack because we think we've been attacked – and in reality no offense was meant. Many times we react to what a person didn't say and misunderstanding escalates. Instead of being freed by arguing our point, we become enmeshed in a "No I didn't" "Yes you did" conversation that spirals down the toilet. Instead, inquire. "What did you mean when you said…" "Try saying it a different way so I'm sure I get it…" "What happened that led you to that point of view?" This is "seek to understand" talk. It's verbal aikido. It liberates everyone from a war of words and words of war.
Question assumptions, look for new insights.
This could be a freedom bumper sticker. The purpose of the Conversation Cafés–and possibly a free life–is to expand the space of freedom one occupies. Our assumptions and certainties are the boundaries we've constructed to make sense of life. When we put them there, they seemed right or at least useful. They let in truth and rejected lies. But we change, life changes and conditions in the world change–so why not question assumptions? Why not look for insights that might refresh your understanding and maybe even reset your boundaries more appropriately?
Sincerity: Speak what has personal heart and meaning. This is Nonviolent Communication in a social setting. If you talk about your feelings and needs, not what someone else said or what someone else ought to do, people can so easily relate to you. Conversation Cafés aren't support or therapy groups, so the feelings and needs revealed there are more about issues and ideas. Talking about political ideas can be fascinating, but exploring why particular ideas are thrilling or frightening to you can be freeing. You free yourself from borrowed convictions and the prison of your mind–and you free others to be inquisitive and open rather than defensive and aggressive.
Go for honesty and depth, but don't go on and on…
Perhaps the people most liberated by your brevity will be those who have to listen to you. But you, as well, are freed from the loneliness of speaking to people who stopped listening sentences, if not hours, weeks or years ago.
Conversation Café hosts are social liberators—and the function can go far beyond a small table in a coffee shop. Social freedom, the freedom to be yourself in groups, actually comes from a capacity to be yourself and the group—and this is the special skill CC hosts learn just by doing it.
A Conversation Café host only has a few simple, minimal things to do. They are asked to reliably show up and welcome people to the table. They read aloud the agreements, explain the process and introduce the other necessary props. Those are a "talking object," something small and handy the person who is speaking holds in the two opening and one closing rounds, the pens and paper for jotting down stray thoughts to unbusy the mind, the "wallet cards" (a small card with the process and agreements) and maybe a sign for the table so strangers and stragglers can find you. Hosts keep time, making sure that the closing round begins about 10 minutes before the end time. That's it. For the rest, the host is hopefully a model of keeping the agreements but is every bit as engaged as the rest in the word jazz. Just this structure provides everything needed for a good shot at a great conversation.
Over time, though, I noticed an amazing triple-mind capacity growing in me as I hosted. In brief, triple-mind means a host attends fully to their own inner process and passions and fully to each speaker's words and meanings and fully to what is alive in the group, the feelings, patterns, insights that are emerging naturally out of the group interaction. To unpack that a bit…
The first mind was my old familiar one–the constant stream of thoughts, opinions, ideas, judgments and speculations that all answer to Vicki. It's my own inner dysfunctional family of warring selves with conflicting needs–and I, the warm witness, take it all in. My first round of sharing often arises from that mind–the one that tries to present itself in a good light. Sometimes, in the heat of conversation, I speak from there as well, since a host isn't an objective facilitator, but an engaged participant with just a couple of other minds active as well.
The second mind is listening to what each person says with absolute attention and utter fascination. I enter the worldview and life experience of the speaker, without any need to change anything. I might ask a steering question, but less as a helper than an appreciator who wants to drink in everything about this utter work of art across the table. Unless the person goes on and on, I find their words arrive at my ears like music.
The third mind of hosting is attuning not to self or other, but to the meanings that begin to arise from the rich, bubbling stew of the interactions. I get the sense that something is trying to be said, that I am no longer talking with other people but that we are all engaged in a kind of word and thought jazz. We're making music, riffing, harmonizing, calling, responding. I now speak not to assert myself but to stirs this communal pot, bringing attention to some unusual combination of thoughts, turning up or down the heat, adding a dash of heart when it's too heady or a dash of reason when tempers flare. Eventually I feel like I am not speaking for myself and to another, but addressing as a "we" this collective meaning that arises from the "we".
Read her article on Conversation Cafés here."


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Sept. 4, 2005
FULLERTON, Calif. - For the second-straight game, the Santa Clara University men's soccer team entered the waning minutes with the score tied. And, for the second-straight game, junior forward Keith DeVey came up with terrific game-winning heroics.
DeVey's rebound goal with less than five minutes to play Sunday afternoon was the difference in Santa Clara's a 1-0 men's soccer victory over Cal State Fullerton at Titan Stadium.
The Broncos, which knocked off second-ranked UCLA Friday night by a 3-2 score on a Devey goal with fewer than three minutes to play, are now 2-0. The Titans fell to 0-2 and have yet to score on the season in its two outings.
"Fullerton played very direct, hit it long and made us battle for the ball," said SCU head coach Cameron Rast. "Both teams had several chances. Once we settled down a bit in the second half, I thought we played pretty well. Fortunately, Keith came through in the end and we got out of there with a road win."
Santa Clara returns to action Friday at 5 p.m. at second-ranked Maryland in the adidas Maryland Classic in College Park, Md. The match will be televised live by Comcast SportsNet Mid-Atlantic and on a tape-delayed basis at 9 p.m. (pacific) by Comcast SportsNet West. The network is available on a number of cable systems throughout its respective regions as well as Directv and Dish Network.
Senior Kelechi Igwe dribbled in from the left flank and took a hard shot that deflected off Fullerton freshman keeper Kevin Puder and Devey booted the loose ball across the goal line. Puder had entered the match early in the second half when starting goalkeeper Bobby Armstrong developed vision problems.
Christopher Moreo made four saves to post his first shutout of the young season for Santa Clara. There were few excellent scoring changes in the evenly played match. Matt Hatzke hit the left post midway through the first half for Santa Clara and the Broncos unsuccessfully rattled a loose ball around but not past Puder with about 10 minutes to play.
Fullerton's best chance came with 12 minutes left in the first half when Amir Shafii's free kick bounced off Moreo's chest but no one could get to the rebound.

subset: commoncrawl


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'Dungeon Siege II' - Screens
by Judy on July 10, 2004 @ 2:48 p.m. PDT | Filed under News
"Dungeon Siege II" returns players to the beautiful fantasy land of Aranna, but it is a land scarred by civil war, where the lines between good and evil are blurred. Players must lead an elite battle party against Valdis, a vicious marauder determined to return the world to order, no matter the cost. "Dungeon Siege II" promises to set a new standard in role-playing games by combining an intriguing story-line with intense real-time party combat and cutting edge 3D graphics.


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As you may have seen, we released our annual list of the hottest guys in hockey on Tuesday. The list instantly went viral and everyone from die-hard hockey fans to our grandmothers seems to have an opinion on it. The overwhelming consensus: New York Rangers goalie Henrik Lundqvist was robbed.
Our favorite comment on the subject: "How the f--- is Henrik Lundqvist not No. 1? Straight man here and even I couldn't help but swoon when he was on during the [HBO] 24/7 series."
We hear you, straight man with impeccable taste in dudes. But let's back up for a sec: We asked readers to nominate their favorite hockey players for the list and, unfortunately for Henrik, his sexy teammate Brian Boyle got more votes.
To make it fair, we only feature one player from each team. Should Claude Giroux, Zach Parise, Kris Letang, and Nicklas Backstrom be on the list? Absolutely—but their teammates got more votes.
But back to Henrik… . Don't get us wrong—it was really damn close—but Brian came out on top. Not only that, he's a serious hottie, too, whose ridiculous good looks often get overshadowed by those of his famous teammate. Let's give credit where it's due already.
So let's talk about that. No question about it, Henrik is hot. In fact, we'll go so far as to say he's really freaking hot. The man's hair always looks good, he dresses better than celebs who get paid to look stylish for a living, and he's so talented it's crazy. Not only that, the man plays guitar. Seriously—could he get any cooler?
That's why he made our list last year. But the votes don't lie: This was just Brian Boyle's year.
So for all you Lundqvist fans, remember this next year and rock the vote.
And P.S.: For those of you who claim we don't know hockey, well…that's just insulting. Let's celebrate the fact the the lockout is finally over and enjoy some NHL time already.
Want more from Korin? Follow her on Twitter @KorinMiller.


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What does "P85" signify?
What does "P85" signify?
P signifies General Production...S signifies Signature. Around here, people use Perf. To signify Performance.
And yes, mine shows the wrong wheels too (I have 21" my screen shows 19"...However, as I plan to swap out to 19" wheels for winter as soon as they're back in stock, I'm not pushing for it to be corrected).
Oh, my bad, missed that you were a Sig. Hmmm. Time to call Tesla!
Yes, you don't qualify for that 'P' no matter which way you figger it. Defect!
i was told by my DS that the 'about' screen was a typo. most every one with the older software shows the P85 with 21 inch fan wheels. (in this case the P stands for performance) i have the same screen and i'm a general production with 19 inch wheels. this will be fixed with a software upgrade.
I have a Signature P85, I can confirm that P stands for Performance and 85 for the 85KWatt battery pack. Signature badging and logo also appear on the software screen.
I also show the grey fan wheels when I have the dark grey ones on my car but DS said that is a very quick fix, I just need to take the time to take it in.
surprised it's not an OTA.
Check the 8th digit of your VIN. If it's a P, you got an extra Christmas present last year.
P85 means Performance 85Kwh battery pack
The information and picture on the About Screen is changeable by the Tesla Tech. I ordered a performance car with 21" Wheels and Carbon Fiber Spoiler. Initially the picture did not show the correct wheels and spoiler. After a trip to the service center, that was corrected and now it shows both the correct wheels and spoiler (although my spoiler is actually not installed yet). So I would think the P85 designator is also changeable.
what does the + stand for on the P85 model
Upgraded suspension/handling


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Goldwater73 necesitaba un nuevo diseño de logotipo y lanzó un concurso de diseño en 99designs.
Un ganador ha sido elegido entre 23 diseños de 11 diseñadores freelance.
Have You Pee'd Today?
I am an 18-year veteran/escapee of corporate America who knows what it's like to have a husband, child and full time job. I am starting a web community for women of this "club" to join and tell stories, support each other and learn how to simplify so that they are less stressed with life's everyday stuff. I will offer tools, products and a place to be with others who really get it about the life of these women.
Working moms 35 - 55. Every mom is a working mom and stay at home moms are also appropriate, but the real target is moms with jobs outside of being a mom whether they work out of the house or an outside company. When they are at work they are thinking about home and when they are at home they are thinking about work. This market feels like everyone wants a piece of them and they have gotten so used to putting just about everyone ahead of themselves that they often forget to take care of the basics in their own life, hence the title of the website, which has resonated with women that I have spoken to about it.
I want a logo that shows a woman sitting at a desk slightly looking out (to the viewer) with her legs crossed and an expression on her face like she has to go to the bathroom (biting lip?). She may have a telephone in the crook of her shoulder, with signs that there are kids in her life such as artwork on her board, kid stuff overflowing a satchel type bag on the floor, a couple of pairs of shoes under the desk (one being sneakers).
See the 2 illustrations on the left. However, my customers are multi-taskers who pride themselves on getting everything done and done well. Time is of the essence, so maybe a big watch or clock?
The logo should represent these women, their stress, legs crossed, and their struggle wtih life/work balance.
Descubre cómo funciona un concurso de diseño u obtén más información sobre nuestros servicios de diseño de logo.


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16th April 2018
Grayling account director, Nicole Vaden considers the changing influencer landscape, and the rise and rise of the micro influencer.
Micro vs macro – just reading those words invokes the feeling of being in a college economics class all over again. But the 'macro' and 'micro' we're referring to here relate to social influencers.
What may have seemed like a bunch of hype just a few short years ago, influencer marketing has quickly become a mainstay for brands both large and small, and it's safe to say that it is here to stay. But how brands utilize these influencers can make all the difference to a program's success, and the nature of those influencers is changing.
In the past, influencers with large numbers of followers were considered king. These 'macro influencers' had a mass audience, so the potential reach was enormous, but they weren't necessarily super clued into what that audience wanted, or what type of content would resonate.
It was much more of a 'push' model, rather than being about true engagement.
A recent Adweek article echoes the sentiment of why these macro influencer campaigns were unsuccessful for brands: the partnerships felt inauthentic to the consumer. And a new report from Launchmetrics appears to back this up, showing that "mega" (or macro) influencers — described as having a following between 501,000 and 1.5 million — are becoming less valuable to brands.
This is not to say that macro influencers have no place, or can't be successful for a brand and its program – they very well might. However, gone are they days where brands can simply use an influencer for their reach alone. These days, with the overcrowded influencer category, partnering with the right ones that hit a brand's target demographic leads to smarter campaigns and more successful results.
Enter: the micro influencer.
Who are they? Micro influencers are social influencers who have smaller, more niche audiences. These content creators know exactly what will land with their audience and exactly what will have that same audience calling their bluff. They know everything about their followers, and don't try to be everything to everyone. They stay true to themselves and work to form a very tailored, specific fan base. Because of this, there is a level of trust gained amongst the influencer's following that they wouldn't have experienced otherwise.
Grayling's own #6into18 project – an overview of the six top communication and marketing trends informing our clients' worlds - identified that, to really stand out from the pack, brands need to invest in rich, targeted content with real value, and tap into these micro influencers.
Employing micro influencers as part of a brand's overall campaign strategy can ultimately help lead to increased sales, as micro influencers champion brands in a way that feels authentic to the audience.
And that's where the magic is: these partnerships don't even feel like one – they seem like a natural fit and the brand appears to be one that the influencer would have stumbled upon out of nowhere if given the chance. Due to this, it is not surprising that our clients who have utilized this micro influencer strategy in their marketing efforts have seen the best ROI. When it comes to influencer marketing, it appears that small really is beautiful.
Nicole Vaden is an account director with Grayling Los Angeles.
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