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My name's Amanda Betts and I'm very happily 49 years old. It's 2017 as we record this, and I sit here in this amazing space full of colour, vibrancy, creativity, potential, surrender and hope. Truth is my life wasn't always like that. Colour and vibrancy was one of those weird, seemingly unobtainable things that I had to search for in amongst a whole lot of black.
To look at me, I'm 'normal'. Or maybe I'm abnormal…? I've got a wardrobe loaded with beautiful, cool clothes. I'm a mum to an epic human who takes form as a 19 year-old-guy and I'm a second-time wife to my girlfriend of over 16 years. Before that I was a wife to a fabulous father to my son that I was with for almost 10 years.
Even my dogs are cool. Monty, the big one, posed with Lorde for Royals. The little one, Sonny, is a French Bulldog that has a tonne of personality. They both come to work with me everyday. And my cat is like a fat furry pear. I love fat cats.
And as for my career? Truly epic. I'm the ex co-founder of Red11 Models, one of the most successful model agencies in New Zealand. I've been blessed to build people for a living, a job I've done for over 16 years. In 30 years in the fashion industry, I've done all sorts of cool jobs, jobs that others would give their eye teeth and left arm for. I've travelled extensively, too. And during these travels, I've seen amazing things and met some incredible, powerful people. I've also met people who have had nothing, and yet have everything. The learnings…ahhhh. So, so blessed. And I'd be a liar if I didn't tell you how much I have lapped up the perks and amazing things, creativity and people in the fashion industry. To say I've had a great time, a great life, is an understatement.
But this is the thing : I'm a sexual abuse survivor. It's funny saying those words. Not in a funny-ha-ha way. Just like in a weird, quirky way funny. Like... funny in a 'did that really happen?' kinda funny. I'm completely comfortable about owning who I am, where I came from, and what's happened to me. I'm in the privileged position of having the freedom to share my story a lot…well, more my 'stories', really, because it's not just one story.
The sexual abuse survivor part is only a small part of who I am. My introduction into the fashion industry reads like a dream script, a dream we only ever hear about but never happens to us in our wildest dreams.
I got introduced to the fashion industry when I was 17 years old. Introduced…ha! I'll rephrase that: 'pushed'…actually, 'kicked into'. It was my grandmother's fault. It was 1985, and she gave me a swollen envelope I was excited about because I thought it was loaded with cash. Upon carefully ripping said envelop open, I was surprised to discover a 'CONGRATULATIONS!' printed across the top of the carefully folded paperwork. I thought, 'I dunno of any denomination with a 'congratulations' on it….' It was a modelling course voucher. I was so pissed off, but my Grandmother in her wisdom gave me no choice but to turn up, or I wouldn't get the clothes to go with the voucher. I decided I'd psych the other girls out. I was going to act real tough and be what I thought was cool.
During my course, I accidentally stumbled into landing a TV commercial. I got $5k and I couldn't get over it because I thought, 'Whoa! I'm 'worth' $5K? Must be because I took my clothes off.' The job was for lingerie, and I had to dance around in my undies like my life depended on it. Irony was that my life did depend on it. I just didn't realise it. I thought it was a fluke, but then I got the second TV commercial. I thought maybe this isn't a fluke, maybe I COULD do this. Maybe I could do modelling and maybe I was worth that kind of money.
The second job was for L'n'P, a fizzy drink in New Zealand. It was $1500, which at the time, you can imagine was massive for a day's work. Rolling around on the beach on a beautiful day, shaking my hair around in a swimsuit with a hot guy… it was something I was completely comfortable with. I was like, 'Wow! You're going to pay me for this? Gimme all the money you want. I'm sweet with this!'
I grabbed every opportunity I could working hard to turn them into something, because I never knew when my next opportunity would come. I weaved my way throughout the fashion industry until 1997 when I decided I was going to have a child.
When Izaac was born, a whole bunch of stuff deep inside me was also 'born', and it woke me up. I thought I knew everything about myself. I thought I knew every inch of my being, that I knew love. I thought I was well acquainted with the darkest shadows of myself. But when I had Izaac, it was kinda like I kind of shut down and an awakening at the same time. This light went on to all the shadow parts of me from the past. All of a sudden everything was polarised and I discovered whole new levels of myself I had no idea existed.
It was beautiful and ugly and violent and bliss kind of all at once. While I held this pure, innocent being, this perfect, untarnished perfectly imperfect being in my arms, smothered in 'stuff' from my being, I remember looking at him and thinking, 'wow. You know more than me.' I marvelled at his purity and his power, his newness and old wisdom… I thought about that what I chose to do with him as his mother was going to govern him for the rest of his life. If I loved him, he would learn love. If I was angry at him, he would learn anger.
Our children LEARN what we teach them. They can ONLY learn what we, the institutions, education system, friends and family, teach them. They learn by what they see and hear. But mostly, they learn by what they FEEL. They can't give until they receive. So Izaac was this massive crazy wake up call.
It was also the day I decided that certain things, behaviours, mindsets and beliefs had to stop, and something else had to start. So I started the work within me. There was this shift, like this massive dislodging in me and I realised there was so much deeply buried in me that I'd locked up and thrown away the keys to. I believed I would never have reason to open it again. There was a whole lot I had escaped, outrun, dodged, that I'd buried. I knew it was there, but I thought it had dissipated into nothingness.
I believed by giving up the drugs when I was 22 would mean I would always remain in control of myself, my mind, thoughts and actions of my heart. Being drug-free would surely ensure I could control what would happen to me.
My relationship with my husband started to deteriorate. I was on a journey. My husband was on a journey. We were trying to figure things out with this new baby. I launched myself into motherhood trying to be the best wife I could be. I was always trying to maintain control, because there was suddenly so much outside of my control.
Through various circumstances, I had to go back to work. I found a job as a model booker, a job I didn't even know how to do. It was like a calling that I had no choice but to follow. I often say it's like asking Picasso not to paint. But that meant I was trying to juggle a marriage, motherhood, my demons and a job I had never done before.
I chose to go to psychotherapy, and that was super-hard because I felt like I was paying to clean up messes that other people had made. I was trying to figure it all out all at once and it was just this crazy chaotic time.
In my work, in the meantime, I discovered I was really good at building people. Better, I loved it. I loved watching people grow, helping people tap into their potential and learn things about themselves and what they were capable of achieving they never thought they could do. I became really, really good at building and raising people up.
Of course I wanted to control things so that nobody could take things away from me. So, I was the best damn model booker that I could possibly be. I kept grabbing and developing opportunities, going to bigger agencies and more doors kept opening up for me. I was getting models into magazines and on TV commercials and sending people overseas. It was just amazing doing this work.
As I was getting higher, my marriage hit rock bottom. My son had just turned two, and I made the brave move to leave my husband. It was really hard. I had this two year old on my hip, I was doing psychotherapy, throwing myself into this new job… It was like I was always busying my mind so I didn't have to deal with all the stuff that kept rearing its ugly head. I was trying to piece myself together, but to piece myself together I had to unravel myself, allow myself to fall apart.
In 2003 my grandmother, the one who bought me that modelling course voucher, died. She left all the inheritance to her only son left of her three sons. I realised no one's going to do this for me. I have to do it for myself. Just because she's my grandmother and she adored me, she didn't owe me anything. But I was still incredibly hurt. I didn't deserve that.
It was the inspiration for me to start my own agency. In 2005, my ex business partners and I started Red11 Models.
I worked incredibly hard at it, and I loved it. But the pressures of our own business plummeted me into anxiety and depression, and I got gobbled up by it. I went into an incredibly black place.
I managed to get through my anxiety and depression, and we created something I am still incredibly proud of in a platform to grow others and help them unlock their potential. We did things we were told we would never be able to do. I worked my butt off to be arguably the best model booker in the country.
In August 2013, something terrible happened within Red11, something that went against everything I stood for. They were heart-wrenching, dark secretive discoveries, discoveries I'm still not at liberty to discuss for various legal reasons. Here I was yet again, silenced, not allowed to discuss anything, express my outrage for what had happened or ask for answers as to why. I really did try to find ways to keep the business I'd worked so incredibly hard for, had given years of my blood, sweat and tears to. I'd built all these amazing people, and I deserved to reap the rewards of the seeds I'd sewn.
It was November 2013 when I was asked to stay for one more week. What was one more week? So I carried out that extra week, with no one within the fashion industry I'd served for almost 30 years knowing I was leaving.
My last Friday was December the 6th 2013 (NZ time). As I stood in the lift for the last time, I was flooded with the feelings that yet again, I'd been ripped off from what was rightfully mine.
I couldn't stop crying. The pain was excruciating, a pain I had never felt so deeply in my life. I was crying so hard for so much: for the loss of everything I'd worked so hard for, for my life as I'd known it, for my freedom that would be robbed of me as I searched for a new career, for my innocence in to how I came to leave Red11, for the decisions other people made for their own gratification and greed, for how my life was turned upside down when I didn't want it to be.
I was more broken than I had ever been.
The lift dropped me down to the carpark level where the company car I only had three months left to drive before I had to hand it to another staff member, was parked.
I cried for someone else and all he stood for that day, too. December 6th 2013 was also the day Nelson Mandela, one of my greatest inspirations in his rights to freedom despite all he'd endured, died.
In the following months, I spent a lot of time in bed, crying, in forests asking nature for the help I so desperately needed. I spent so much time reflecting on my life. I also spent time in recovery for my life. To go forward, I need to take you back to where the story really began…
It was in Whakatane, a small town in the north island of New Zealand, in the late '70's, and we were the first kids on the street to get colour TV. It was a really big deal. People would come over to watch our colour TV. This meant our house was very social in the beginning. We were so lucky to have a lot of Maori and Polynesian people in Whakatane, and we loved it because everybody was Uncle Jim and Aunty Sarah, rather than Mr This and Mrs That. We didn't know who was related and who wasn't. Everybody was kind of part of each other's family.
I'll never forget the first incident. I was eight years old and my mum was out for the night.
She would go to bingo nights. Basil Brush was a really big deal in those days, a character fox from England, a little bit like the Wiggles. All of us kids loved Basil Brush, he was really funny.
I was proud to be the lucky owner of pair of purple Basil Brush undies.
My six year old brother and I had been out with my mum's partner. I don't know to remember if he was drunk or whatever, because he did drink a lot. We came home and mum's partner put us into the bath. My brother was put to bed before me and he was really grumpy because we always used to be put to bed at the same time. This particular time, mum's partner said, "Your brother can go to bed now, you're two years older so you can stay up with daddy."
I was super-excited. I thought it was really funny because I felt like a big girl. As he, we'll just call him John, was drying me off, he goes "What's that mark?" I said, "What mark?" He was pointing at my chest. He then ran his finger down across my chest. I remember all my hair standing up on end and I got this really horrible cold shiver. I started to shake. I didn't know then, but I do now, he was watching my body respond to his touch. And it was horrible, so creepy, it made my skin crawl. He really 'dried' me between my legs. I hated the feeling.
I got dressed. John and me watched television. I was sitting on John's lap in his big Lazy-Boy chair watching TV. He lifted me up under my arms, got up and put me back down to his Lazy -Boy. I felt small being engulfed in his huge chair.
He got down on his knees and said, "I'm going to do something to you." He gently ran his hands up my thighs, pulled down my Pyjama pants, got my knickers and rolled them down my legs. He parted my knees. He was a '70's man so he had a big beard and moustache. He started kissing and licking my thighs. I was just watching television over his shoulder and kind of trying to pretend that it wasn't really happening. I was wondering what he was doing. He went down on me and he said,"Do you like that?"
It was a horrible, creepy feeling. I guess when it's happening to you, you don't think about resisting because there's so much going through your mind about what's going on. Your body is kind of responding when you don't want to. It is another kind of creepiness. He was just feeling me up, performing cunnilingus on me and I didn't like it, I hated it…his scratchy beard on my thighs…it was disgusting.
He said, "Would you like to come into the same bed that mummy comes into?" "No." "Come on you like this…don't you want to be my little girl?" I remember I made him really angry, so he gave up. Then he snatched at my undies and abruptly put them on. The weirdest thing is I remember him putting my undies on inside-out. So Basil Brush was on the inside. I was really upset about that.
It was the start of me becoming a master of keeping secrets. He was hitting mum and the beatings started getting worse. My mum figured out that if she slept with me, he wouldn't beat her. I'm sure he didn't hit me in case I said something to mum. And it just got worse until eventually, mum got him really drunk one New Year's Eve. He was passed out and all I remember was mum whispering to us we were going to live somewhere else. We loaded up the car with everything we could fit and fled to Auckland. When I think back, I realise how much courage it must have taken her to leave.
She had no idea about what was going on with me. I got used to keeping secrets. I kept my mouth shut. There was so much guilt and shame and disgust, I thought I'm not going to tell a soul. And I didn't. I became a master at keeping secrets in pretending everything was OK. I guess there was so much going on in mum's life, she wasn't able to pick up on any signals.
Auckland was a fresh start. Well, so I thought. There were a few boyfriends my mother started having because she was a single mum again. Life was hard. Fortunately she had her sister who was very young herself, she was only seven years older than me. She was looking after us and sort of establishing her life as well. Thank goodness for her because she was absolutely wonderful and she loved us and thought we were really cool. But she was a teenager herself looking after us, you know? She was 17, I was 10 and my brother was 8 and that's pretty crazy. She was just like so amazing for us to have because my mum was a hard person…cruel. All she knew was cruelty.
Then this guy came along. I can't mention his name. It amazes me, incenses me, even, that I'm not allowed to mention his name in case he comes after me. So we'll just call him John, too. John came into our lives and we were so happy. He used to take us places. This was so special because mum had gone into secrecy, so we weren't allowed to play with other kids, use the phone, answer the phone, connect with our grandparents…she kept us isolated. I don't know why, she's dead now so I can't tell you. We didn't have many relationships and our family didn't visit us very much.
Eventually John moved in. One day we were watching television. And again there were things that were starting to happen. You pretend you don't really see or notice them. I guess I know it was a part of me wanting to block out that same feeling, because even though it was a different man, the feeling is the same. It's the same creepiness. It's quite a strange thing because you start to become alert to these feelings. You feel that same something is not quite right. Your mind plays tricks on you. You think it can't be real, it can't be happening again. You start justifying their actions in your mind. What you don't realise when you're so young and innocent is that you sometimes start sending out certain signals. So these feelings started happening again. I couldn't believe it.
What was so bad this time is not as much the incident, and 'incident' feels too-small-a word for what happened, was that my heart, more than anything, hurt so much.
I was hugging him tightly, wrapped up in his arms, on the couch. My brother was lying on the ground in front of us watching TV. I was so happy; we've got this great guy, he's not violent or beating the crap out of my mother or us. He's not swearing and carrying on, or getting drunk. Mum had found happiness at long last with this great guy who loved her and was kind to us. And he bought us ice creams…a lot. We were in heaven.
As I'm hugging him, he starts adjusting his body position. So my head starts dropping down his stomach. He got an erection. He was huge, absolutely massive in size, and it was up to his stomach.
He unbuttons his pants and his penis springs out, like it's unleashed from the tightness of his pants. He takes a hold of it, and feeds it into my mouth….I am so devastated, tears filling my eyes. I just looked at him to say, how could you…? HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME? How could this happen to me again?
The worst part for me is that I found myself responding…not in an excited way, but like that's what I needed to do to help keep him in our family. Because I didn't want to be broken apart again, for mum to suffer again, for us to have to pack up again.
I left the room to the safety of my bedroom.
I didn't go through this on my own. He'd masturbate in front of me and my brother all the time. I was having breakfast one day, and he said, 'I wanna slide my cock up and down your tits." I simply said, "If the boys at school can't have them, you definitely can't."
Mum started knowing things were going on. She sort of sensed it.
We all have intuition. Some of us are tuned into it a little more than others. Mum started getting angrier and angrier at me as I grew taller and I guess more beautiful. I was no longer the little girl, I was starting to become a young woman. But I also started becoming hardened. And I also started to become super-sexualised. Men would hit on me because I looked older than what I was. At 14, I started realising the power of my body.
I launched myself into schoolwork, sports and into creative activities. I was a really good girl at school. But I was covering so many massive lies. I didn't want anyone to find out how dirty or damaged I was. By that stage my mum was trying to stop my growth so she would dress me in ugly clothes, She wouldn't let me do any personal grooming. I wasn't allowed to go out, to use the telephone or have friends over. We had no privacy. We weren't allowed to close our doors at night time, doors were always open.
And she used to beat the hell out of us with the jug cord. She was super-violent. Although John never smacked us, he'd often come in and watch while we were bent over the bed, mum strapping us with the jug cord. Sometimes we wouldn't go to school for a couple of days because the welts would be so bad. We became more and more isolated.
During this time there were other things going on with other people in the neighbourhood that I couldn't really discuss. One reason being I would rather take it on myself like a sacrificial lamb rather than set the cat amongst the pigeons in other peoples families. There were all of these incidents regularly happening to me and I couldn't share it with anybody.
For example, when I was maybe 14 or 15, I can't remember exactly how old, there was one guy in his 50's that used to live in a self-contained flat with people my mum trusted along the road. On the odd occasion, we'd stay with these people. I think I used to stink of a victim. He too cottoned on to something about me. I guess I was always being groomed and I never knew I was being groomed. This guy earned my trust. He knew a lot of shit was going on for me, promising he would never tell anybody. He'd say things like "What do you do when you get in these really dark places? It must be really terrible for you".
At the time Devo was my favourite band. I told him listening to them saved me. So he started buying mr Devo records. One day I was at his house and he goes "Guess what? Devo just released a new album." I was so excited. We listened to the album. I was just beside myself. Of course I knew that I couldn't have the album unless I went to his flat. I'd sneak over and listen with him, we'd talk, I'd get a fix, I was happy.
It was one of the best days of my life when mum got a new record player, so I got the old one. It was a really big deal because we weren't allowed anything.
I raced over to this guy's flat with my exciting news. After listening to the album, he said, "Do you want to keep the album?"
Of course I was beside myself: a record player AND the Devo album?!
Of course I said yes. He continued. "If you want it, I'll do things to you. You don't have to do anything to me..." I was thinking this is actually an ok deal, because I didn't have to do anything. To be honest, I didn't give a fuck. So I just let him do what he wanted.
He got what he wanted. I got my album.
He was smart and started buying singles. But again I didn't care. In my head I was ok with it because he wasn't having sex with me and I didn't have to suck him off.
I've never discussed that with people. Not because I struggle with it. I just didn't want people to see me as a person that could do that. Even though I was OK with it. So much had happened by that stage, I was so damaged that it didn't matter to me.
I remember he bought a second album. I got smart with him and said that unless he gave me a full album, I was going to start telling others. So of course I got my album and then that stopped. He never came back after me again. Because I realised I had a bit more power than what I thought. It was so weird because on one hand I was powerless. But I had also started learning how to use the power as a weapon in a threatening kind of way.
I remember one time I was at school and something was wrong with me. Not that I knew because I would just go to school to do my schoolwork and pretty much kept to myself. I didn't have friends because I couldn't foster relationships with them. One day I was called to the office to see the counsellor. I don't remember exactly the conversation, but I thought I didn't say much.
Later that day, Mum came home and said, "How was your day?"
I replied "Good, thanks."
"Talk to anyone interesting today?"
I gave birth to my heart. I thought, 'Oh fuck, she knows.' I could feel my face burning. "No," I said not very convincingly.
"You sure about that?"
"Yes, I'm sure."
"Are you SURE you're sure about that?"
I stared at the floor hoping it would open up and swallow me whole….
"Go into your room and I'll give you some time to see if you're sure about that…"
I knew what it meant. I just thought, 'Fuck that. I'm not doing the torture in the room'. So I said,"OK, yes I did speak to somebody."
Eventually, she came in with the jug cord. "You're not ever to speak to anybody about anything that goes on inside of this house." I got on my knees and took my punishment. I decided never to speak to anybody again.
Before my dad died he wanted to see us. He wasn't allowed to see us because we were used as weapons against my dad. I know we were used as weapons because we never got to see him. He snuck in one day to school. I don't remember exactly how old I was. I was sweeping the floor and all of a sudden, I looked out the window and I saw this man. I knew he was my father, because parts of me looked like parts of him. He was the reason I was tall with green eyes and brown hair, not short with black hair and brown-black eyes like my Dutch-Indonesian mother. I ran and stood in front of him, I studying his face so closely.
"Are you who I really think you are? Are you my dad?" He hugged me so tight and I just cried and cried in his arms.
I was a little girl when I last saw him, and here I was, this young woman. He hadn't seen us for years. But after all that time, I still held a torch my dad.
We were in the car and he put his hand on my leg and squeezed it gently, tears welling up in his eyes. All he wanted to do was connect. He was staring at me like he was trying to apologise. He was trying to say so much without saying a word.
It still hurts my heart when at one stage, I looked at him and just thought, 'Oh god. Not you too…' I remember thinking he wanted to do things to me too. It was so sad. My dad didn't feel like that about me at all but I misconstrued it and it felt like that same dirty feeling. When I look back on it, I know he was trying to say sorry. I know he was trying to say he loved me. He was trying to make up for all of those years in this really short awkward meeting, and yeah, it was a really bizarre feeling.
Later that day, mum came home and said,"Did you see anyone interesting today?" Fuck. Here we go again. And sure enough, we got beaten.
My dad died when he was 35, of Leukaemia. I was 15, and my brother 13. We weren't allowed to cry, attend his funeral and our names aren't on his gravestone as if we never existed. But his ex wife is. He was meant to change his assets over to my brother and me. The lawyers got the paperwork ready, and dad instructed them to leave it beside his bed, that he would sign it tomorrow. His never tomorrow came, yet it changed all of our tomorrows.
There were many other incidents that led up to me leaving home, but two were the nails in the coffin. One day I left my bedroom window open and someone stole my mum's clothes and jewellery. When she came home she asked if I'd committed the robbery. Of course it wasn't me. So I said no. She slapped me so hard on my face. It fucking burned. I hate being slapped in the face. My mum slapped me on the same side of my face seven times. My face was on fire. I asked her what she wanted me to say to stop her. She told me to admit I did it. So I admitted I did it, even though I had nothing to do with it other than being supid enough to leave the widow open. She beat me the jug cord.
She used to make me look at her, which I hated. She had a black heart and a black soul. There was no love in her. There was no compassion, no kindness, no understanding, no forgiveness. She'd sculpted us to be so fucking subservient who weren't ever allowed to answer back or stand up for ourselves. She's say anything she wanted. And my God did she.
She'd say, 'Kids are like dogs: no matter how badly you treat them, they always come back to you." It was true no matter how bad she treated us we always came back to her. We always loved her.
John went to hit her one day. He didn't beat her very often, but this one particular day, he went to hit her. I stood in front of her, looked at him and I didn't say a word. I just stared at him. He was really, really angry. I just said,"If you touch her…" He stormed out. I was really proud of myself because I'd stopped a beating.
It's funny because I've never actually thought about this. It's only because I'm thinking about it now. Again, that incident was another time when I sort of lost power, but gained power at the same time. Maybe that's partly why he never touched her. Because I held the secrets. I never said a word and neither did my brother. There was a real beautiful thing that happened from the ugliness of all the stuff, and that was my relationship with my brother. We became really close and that was something I was really grateful for, even though it was so fucked up as to how we became so close.
I have a freedom of choice tattoo. It's a wing. The freedom of choice wing represents the last time my mother lay her hands on me. That was the final 'incident' (damn, I hate the pathetic-ness of that word. And I don't hate much….) before I left home. 'Freedom of Choice' is a song by Devo. The first verse is
a victim of collision in the open sea
No one ever said that life is free
Sink. Swim. Go down with the ship
Use your freedom of choice.
I remember my freedom of choice that day…that horrific, sad day. It's funny because this abuse was the worst kind of abuse.
I had a guy in the house while my mum and John were out. We're mucking around and mum unexpectedly came home. Fuck. So he raced out the back door as mum walked in the front door. I sat there all hot, bothered and flustered. Mum came in and clocked me. Her eyes went big as saucers, then they narrowed to thin slits, her hands clenching into tight fists. She charged over to me, grabbed me by the ear and twisted it so hard dragging me into the bathroom. She started smashing my face against the mirror, screaming "Look at you look at you, filthy fucking bitch." She was calling me a slut and a whore…all these things.
I was still a virgin. You know I find it quite ironic considering all that happened to me, that I was still a virgin, only dirtied by her boyfriends.
I start begging.
"Please, please mum, I'll do anything. I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" I was crying and just pulling every trick to try and get her to stop. Finally I got myself a bit of space. It's funny because that moment of space has been something that has served me for the rest of my life in the sense if you are so close up against it in what's happening to the point you cannot see anything, it's amazing what happens when you create room for a little bit of space.
She sent me to my room and I waited. And waited… It was one of mum's torture techniques. You know you're going to get it, but it's that sick feeling of not knowing when it's coming.
Mum walked in a few hours later. I was sitting on my bed. She goes, "You know what to do." I got down on my knees and I bent over my bed.
"Actually, get up."
I thought, 'this is different. Maybe she won't beat me…'
"Look at me," she says a little too calmly. That's the worst: when you look your perpetrator in the eye. It's like they are reading you, slicing right through your best defences. You're forced to look into their eyes while they violate your soul. I remember thinking what black holes of darkness her eyes were.
"Get it off."
"I cant its a hickey."
"That's not what I'm talking about."
"You want me to get undressed?"
"Yes, Get it off."
I took of my pyjamas and stood in my underwear. She said, "Get it ALL off." I just said "But mum…" tears are now filling my eyes. So I really awkwardly undo my bra and I took off my underwear. At my socks, she says, "That'll do."
"Get down." So I got down on my knees. I was still holding on to the hope that she would change her mind.
And then she started. And she went to town.
I had already made a choice: Freedom of choice. I decided that I wasn't going to make a sound. And I didn't. I just thought: you can do what you like with my mind, you can do what you like with my body, but you ain't going to touch my soul. So I did not cry. It was really painful.
Even though I thought I knew everything, even though I was fucking tough, even though all the stuff had been happening to me, I was still just a girl. And the hardest part was that my own mother could do this to me…If she had any idea of what I was putting up with so I could protect her, so that she didn't have to feel like it was her fault. I was the sacrificial lamb. I was taking all this from her men. That was the hardest, hardest part about the whole thing.
I was so fucking terrified because I thought if she was going to do this to me for a hickey, what would she do to me if I told her the truth about what all these men have been doing. So I just silently took it.
When she finished, she was puffing. I quietly put on my clothes. My ass was on fire. It was then I said the three most powerful words I've ever said. To me this is a really important part of the story and it's something that I think is so incredibly powerful because it was the day I got my power back. For the first time in my life, I felt that I had real power. I never, ever felt that power before. Because power is not about just what you say, and it's not about what you don't say. It's not about what you do. It is just as much about what you don't do. It's also about how you say it and how you deliver it.
I don't know where it came from, but it was one of the most memorable highlights of my life. That is so incredible because I was so broken and so damaged and so dark and I just really found this voice. I found this glimmer of light and strength in me.
She watched me as I put my clothes back on. I went straight up to her, stood over her, which I had never done in my entire life. She was breathing deeply. I looked down at her black holes of eyes. I gritted my teeth, I narrowed my eyes. And I just said in a strong but quiet voice through gritted teeth, 'HAVE…YOU…FINISSSSSHED?
I'll never forget it because it was like it wasn't me. It was like it was my soul speaking, and it was the most beautiful powerful moment of my entire life. And it remains so. My mum looked at me and a light went out in me. She lost me in that moment, and she never got me back again.
Two weeks later I packed what little I had, going into the world like a tiger out of the cage at 15 years old. After that I did everything I wanted and everything I shouldn't have done. I pillaged, stole, hustled all sorts of things from all sorts of people. I just took what I wanted, what I felt I was entitled to. I didn't give a shit. I tried to commit suicide a couple of times, the second time was 22 valium.
So my grandmother gifting me that modelling course voucher, changed my life. It saved me, even. And through me taking every opportunity and turning it into something that could help me get ahead and make up for what I'd been so robbed of, I am what can be defined as a real 'Success Story'.
As a top body model in my time, I always found it ironic that the fashion industry ended being my saviour, something that valued what I had to offer.
And while as a model agent, I used to help beauty-privileged people become more privileged, when I left Red11, or had little choice but to go, really, I wanted to find ways to help more people like me. I wanted to give voices and faces to those who suffer in silence. I wanted to give validation for those so robbed of their innocence, and I wanted to demonstrate through example that we do not need to remain victims, but rather we can chose to find ways to be not only survivors of sexual assault, but conquerors of it. And I wanted to find ways to help others in their journey to healing, too.
I do this through the Heartspeak Collective, a fundraising initiative where people share their stories through up-cycling and customising jackets, tea towels and cushions, and Bridge The Gap Project, a charitable trust that helps youth help themselves through creative, healing experiential learning programmes. I now work with some of the most at-risk and vulnerable young people in the country, including incarcerated young people.
The truth is none of what I am doing now would have happened if it weren't for my harrowing childhood experiences. So my experiences have enabled me to find my purpose. And that is a precious gift, a privilege, not a birthright.
While we can never take back what people choose to do to others, we can choose to ensure no one…no one, breaks our spirit.


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Come sing with LVP in a 4 hour workshop, led by Pete Churchill and open to all.
Following the workshop, LVP will present a full evening's performance, during which workshop attendees will be invited to perform what they have learnt.
The workshop is £25 (which includes entry to the gig), and the gig only is £8.


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Purchase your ticket: inclusionseries.eventbrite.com
Social science research has shown that despite our beliefs that we are "color blind" and open-minded, we all harbor unconscious bias. In this interactive workshop, we'll learn how biases operate and what we can do to move from awareness to action in overcoming our biases. Awaken is proud to partner with Karen Fleshman in delivering this critical workshop.


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Your business is important to us
The smooth running of your Sage system is a key part in ensuring the continuity of your business and its processes. The Sage support team at KBS fully understand how complex some business processes can be and the frustration they cause when they don't work properly.
Whether you are calling for a quick question or detailed support, the staff are so helpful, polite, understanding and patient. Nothing is too much trouble for them. I would totally recommend KBS purely just for the support help alone"
Talk to our experts today
Based in belfast, our team at KBS Group are at hand to help you make decisions that are right for your business. Contact us today for advice and information on Sage and how we can help your business grow.
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Claire Beauchamp Randall Fraser and James "Jamie" MacKenzie Fraser
Jamie and Claire, there is so much to say about this TV couple, firstly and most importantly Jamie and Claire love each other very much and will do anything to protect each other. Jamie and Claire share a chemistry that is electric and though they are from different Era they understand each other very well.
Jamie and Claire have a child together because Jamie gave them a fighting chance when he sent Claire back to 1946 to save her and Brianna life. Jamie and Claire spent many years apart even though time passes different for both, but when they were back together, it was like they have never been separated. After all that Jamie and Claire have been and have overcome they are Sueboohs Corner 2018 Countdown to Valentine day TV Couple of 2017 #4.
Here is a video of some of Jamie and Claire most memorable moment Jamie and Claire shared:


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Award-Winning Musical Guests Perform During School Assembly
Following their Sunday Chamber on the Mountain performance, flutist Anthony Trionfo with pianist Albert Cano gave a special Monday performance in the Zalk Theater. The duo played a variety of pieces that explored different styles and techniques with both mind-dazzling speed and beautiful melody. In between each piece, Anthony and Albert graciously answered questions from the audience of students and faculty.
Special thanks to Heidi Lehwalder, Artistic Director of Chamber on the Mountain, in collaboration with Young Concert Artists, for consistently bringing such amazing talent to Ojai. We appreciate her ensuring that our students have a chance to not only see them perform, but to engage with some the world's most talented up-and-coming musicians.
For more information about these award-winning artists and upcoming Chamber shows, please visit:


text: Chew is a grime and hip-hop MC from Cwmfelin, Caerphilly. Chewing and spitting bars that have depth, meaning and personality from being fiercely political or deeply personal; Chew's work is always delivered straight from the heart. Starting in 2011, creating videos and tracks online, he was soon played by BBC Radio Wales' Adam Walton and continues to be a staple on the show. He's already supported Tinchy Stryder, Queen of the Scene Lady Leshurr, Chip, So Solid Crew and in 2016 performed for Radio 1Xtra Urban maestro Charlie Sloth's, Fire in the Street series! Undoubtedly, Chew is one of the hardest working urban artists currently in Wales.


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November 13th, 2013
Good morning!
Interest rate trends: Today – Slightly lower; 10 days – Higher; 25 days – Higher.
Interest rate recommendation: Cautious float
MBS's continue to improve slightly as stock retreat on fears of a sooner than earlier thought or even a December tapering of QE3. We still do not feel the Fed will taper QE3 in December, but it is possible they will before Q2 2014. October's Jobs Report was a shock and if November's report is equally good, we will likely see interest rates climb a little. There are no economic reports being released today and while MBS's continue to improve, we'll switch to a cautious float and see how much of Friday's losses we can recoup. Yesterday's Treasury auction garnered a "B" rating, not bad and thus helped rates slightly. Today the Treasury will auction $24 billion in 10 year notes. MBS's are currently better by +31bps. Sentiment can change quickly however, so be ready to lock just in case the market turns the other direction. Have a great day!
This email is sent out once per day, but on our website, on the "Interest Rates" page, you will see a "Current rate trend" indicator to see what interest rates are doing throughout the day.
30 year fixed rate: 4.000% with 4.115% APR.
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Although I love Armando Iannucci, and I was a complete devotee of his previous series The Thick of It, I've never been the world's biggest Veep fan, chiefly because the characters are so incredibly vile and awful that I find myself rooting against them at every turn and basically cannot stand to see Selina win at anything.
I've continued to watch it because the show does occasionally manage to make me laugh in spite of itself, simply because the insult humor and delicious contortion of language isn't something you'd hear out of the mind of anyone else. But you can imagine how it felt to watch an entire season of Selina Meyer, the world's most despicable person, now ascended to the highest office in the land, a feat that she pulled off by accident of course, but nevertheless, she's now the world's most powerful person in the show's universe and boy, is that horrifying. I almost couldn't get over the very idea of it, which made me want to vomit in my mouth every time we cut to her in the Oval Office. Interestingly, the season of Selina's presidency made her somehow even worse that I was expecting (and my expectations were pretty high that she'd repulse me at every step), as she displayed once again, now more than ever, zero competency, zero sympathy, zero compassion and not an ounce of character, as she glories in her power while screwing up at every turn.
It was almost enough to make me tune out, but as always, Julia Louis-Dreyfus' incredible acting saves the day, as I cannot imagine anyone else ever being able to pull off such a horrible character and still manage to impress you with the sheer range of ways in which she expresses her awfulness. Julia is the Queen of Awfulness, people and that in itself is something to be admired in a strange way (I guess all those years on Seinfeld honed her chops for this role, especially the weirder, later seasons). Also, the supporting cast this time out really shined, as both Dan (Reid Scott) and especially Jonah (Timothy Simons) stepped up to the plate with some fantastic one liners and in Jonah's case, a storyline where he was relentlessly sexually harassed by prolific guest star (on anything) Patton Oswalt, and then mocked mercilessly for it the rest of the season. Jonah himself is not any more sympathetic than most of the characters on this show, but Simons somehow managed to turn him into the highlight of the series this season, as I was always ready to cut back to any one of his scenes of humiliation, played in a pitch perfect tone and matched with a fitting sidekick in the form of last year's annoying Richard (Sam Richardson), a character I never thought was funny at all, but now paired with Jonah, is also somehow reinvented as an amusing foil.
I couldn't stand anything having to do with Selina until about halfway through the season, when Hugh Laurie's Tom James showed up to be her new running mate, and of course becomes more popular than she could ever be, showing her up at every turn with his charisma and (comparative) competence in relation to Selina and her team of idiots. His addition gave some of the characters leeway to actually notice Selina's vileness, culminating in an Emmy-worthy breakdown scene from Anna Chlumsky's Amy, who launches a vitriolic (and genuine) diatribe at her boss over how terrible she is in every possible respect, thus quitting her administration (however temporarily it turns out to be) and giving verbal onscreen confirmation of my own anger, which acted as a kind of primal scream therapy to endure the rest of the season. A later episode that duplicates almost every bit of Iannucci's inquiry episode of The Thick of It is far too uninspired for me to relish the glorious dialogue like most critics did (Thick of It did it better), and as always, I simply cannot ever buy that a president as blundering, unlikable and unelected as Selina could even come close to winning the White House in her first election, but I will say that the constitutional crisis the writers come up with to justify that outcome is sufficiently clever enough to leave me wondering what's going to happen next (she can't stay president forever, right? I mean, the show's called Veep for god's sakes).
Armando Iannucci has announced that he is leaving the show, and this was the last season to bear his name in the writing, which is fairly alarming, considering that, much like Aaron Sorkin, he's a showrunner who has always been extremely hands on and involved in every creative aspect of his series. The decision to continue the show without him may prove to be consequential in some major ways (could they actually soften up Selina, as Americans are wont to do, without Iannucci around to keep it as cynical as possible?). I'm a little curious as to how the show will fare without him, so I'm still in, but Veep continues to be something that alternately amuses, infuriates, and repulses me, often many times in the same episode. If I were ever somebody to actively hate-watch a show, this is probably the one, because for some reason, I still can't quit it.
Grade: B-


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How far can you stretch?
Tuesday was a rather non-festive St. Patrick's day, as it was a two-jobs day for me. I was at my regular job from 7 until 2:30, and then after what seemed like a very short break (three hours that felt more like three minutes), it was off to the Major Home Improvement Retailer for a 5:30 to 11 shift. Fortunately it was the only day this week that I was scheduled for both jobs. Another thing that helped was that my regular job wasn't too bad. This is a remarkably easy cycle, with really only one day having been necessary to get adjusted to it. The MHIR shift, in contrast, was pretty tough. Its hard to adjust to a 5 1/2 hour shift. It seems much, much longer than a 4 hour shift, somehow that extra 90 minutes makes a big difference. And it's not that much easier than an 8 hour shift, most likely because there's no lunch break to separate it into halves.
Wednesday was mostly a lost day. I was absolutely exhausted from the previous long day. Getting through my regular job was a real ordeal. My pace was well below average, which made me all the more thankful that it was an easy cycle. I don't know how I could have coped otherwise. Needless to say, going to the gym simply wasn't an option.
Thursday was much better. I had something approaching a normal energy level, and work was so easy I had to find various tasks to occupy myself for an hour or so until I could leave. That evening I went to the 7:30 session at the hot yoga center and am pleased to report that it went well. While tracking one's progress in yoga is not as straightforward as in sports with measurable objectives, such as running or weight lifting, I was able to tell that I could stretch further in some positions than ever before. No one's ever going to mistake me for Gumby, but at least my flexibility is somewhat greater than that of concrete. Somewhat.


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Imagine the sound of your favourite song, maybe a rock song, techno, rap or classical. Whatever it is, imagine it thumping through you ears, pulsing through your brain and causing your toes to tap in effortless reaction. Imagine the sound of birds waking just before the first morning light, their song tugging at the blinds on the horizon'Äì pulling some invisible cord to reveal the sun. Imagine the sound of an engine'Äì the one in your first car. The one that might've hummed then coughed, leading you to wonder if a $500 car could make all the way on your cross-country adventure. Imagine church bells on your wedding day or the sound of a New Orleans brass band funeral parade. Imagine hearing 'I love you' for the first time…
Now, imagine going out of your way to give it all up. Imagine making yourself deaf or pretending to be impaired. Imagine hearing aids as fetish objects and intentional deafness as an erotic experience.
I wanted to join the Yahoo! eGroup to find out more about this, but I couldn't. In good faith, I didn't join even to satisfy my curiosity since they make it clear that they request respect for what they are discussing. I can't give them that, so I chose not to join for even my investigative urges. I couldn't even tell you where I got this link anymore'Äì I've had it bookmarked for so long, knowing I had to blog about it sometime.
Founded in May of 2000, there are 611 members in the Deaf Wannabe online group. Some are likely just lurkers, poking around to satisfy curiosity. But clearly, that wouldn't likely be the majority. I can't imagine what they are promoting is healthy or sane, but I'm not really qualified to judge. I just had to blog about it. I just thought it was so strange and alien to me that I needed to tell you.
This discovery opens all kinds of doors… Somewhere, someone is probably intentionally staring into the sun to blind himself. I haven't searched for a group that might encourage that, but I'll bet it exists. It's a frightening thought to me, but then I couldn't believe people would want to go deaf for pleasure. (I'll bet you couldn't either…)
On another brief related note, I remember hearing about people who intentionally remove their own toes or fingers as a form of body modification expression. I don't really understand that either, but I thought I'd throw it out there for you. Now, I've got a handful of piercings and several areas of tattoo coverage, but I draw the line at removing body parts… If it works for you, great. Take your vitamins and change your bandages so you don't get an infection, but I still don't understand the attraction. Oh well. Who's to say what's normal anyway, right? And if you deafen yourself, you won't have to put up with listening to anyone tell you their opinion on it… 😉
Technorati Tags: regularjen


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Homemade Valentine's Day Gumdrops are made with applesauce and JELL-O – super easy and super yummy! I love making holiday-specific treats and we had so much fun nothing says valentine's day. Add some romance to your Valentine s Day menu with these breakfast recipes, dinner ideas and favorite desserts for valentine s day, give them a pizza your heart. From romantic recipes for two and sweet chocolate february 14 only, order today and tag us to share the moment!. Make a fun paper plate pepperoni pizza craft for Valentines day! It says You re the pepperoni to my pizza! great gift idea see more see less healthy valentine s day treats! perfect for school parties, kids love these homemade desserts and snacks, from probiotic fruit pizza to heart-shaped graham crackers. The Saint Valentine s Day Massacre is the name given to the February 14, 1929 murder of seven men of the North Side Irish gang during the Prohibition Era baffled by your beau's desires for valentine's day? look no further than these 11 innovative ideas. It resulted and the award for best partner goes to. Local groups are gearing up for a season of Valentine s Day dances for families you! valentine s day. Some are designed for dads and daughters williams-sonoma has sweet valentine presents that are sure to be enjoyed by someone special this valentine s day. Others are designed for mothers and sons our selection of valentine candy. Valentine s Day history, fun facts, events and quotes share the love with valentine s day gifts, decorations, centerpieces and entertaining options from crate and barrel. When is Valentine s Day shown on a calendar for this year and next we have a wide selection of valentine s day. Love is in the air with these Valentine's Day recipes for everything from a romantic dinner for two to sweet treats everyone will love party time again?! yep. The ultimate set of 14 unique DIY Valentine s Day cards for your spouse! Funny, mushy, corny, we have a Valentine s Day card for you! How to Make Valentine s Day Special on a Budget i've scoured the internet for some party game ideas and came up with some cool valentine's day games of my own. Love with diamonds and a five star meal is neither a necessity nor necessarily a meaningful expression of love for these 12 coolest valentine. With Valentine's Day less than two weeks away, I had to share a Valentine's Day Mason Jar! This gift in a jar is full of pampering spa items and sweet treats show your love with special valentine s day recipes, romantic date night dinners, and decadent chocolaty desserts. Valentine s Day Main Dish Recipes Looking for a main dish to serve up this Valentine s Day? Try one of our favorite romantic recipes including shrimp scampi, filet when a group of talented crafters comes together for a valentine s day party, the resulting handmade valentines are as hip as they are heartfelt. Philippines Online Gifts, cakes and pizza Shop, Same day delivery in Metro Manila, nationwide On Time Delivery Guaranteed love is in the air! here i have compiled a list of my favorite valentine's day crafts for kids to make! just click on the picture or link to view the instructions. Philippines Leading and Most reliable escolha o tipo de chocolate, a cobertura e decoração de diversos bombons, que vão ser feitos por você desde as formas e o chocolate ainda líquido até ele. Nothing says Valentine's Day like fruit pizza order valentine s day candy favorites including heart-shaped candy, conversation heart boxes and heart-shaped lollipops. Huh? You've never though the same thing? That's weird fast delivery - order now! how to plan a romantic valentine s day date. Actually, let me rephrase want to plan a romantic valentine s day date for your partner or significant other? make february 14th special by. Nothing says Valentine's Day


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There are 5 stages of grief. Well that's what google tells me anyway. But to be honest the articles I found were kind of conflicting. Some said seven.
Life lesson #1 – Google has all the answers. Literally.
Every possible answer you could want to find. Google has it.
Smart arse.
But when it comes to processing the loss of a child, google just won't cut it.
And so, here I am opening the door to my mind, my heart and everything else (why not hey?) to show you what's been going on in here.


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Star Trek Online, the latest massively multiplayer online (MMO) computer game from Cryptic Studio, the company behind the successful City of Heroes and Champions Online, is offering cut-price subscription rates to those who take the plunge and pre-order the game ahead of its February 2 release.
The game is currently in Open Beta until January 26, which means anyone signing up at StarTrekOnline.com can download a program and play a sizable chunk of the game for free, allowing Cryptic Studios to tighten it up prior to release, as well as giving potential buyers a good taste of how the final game will play.Like most commercial MMOs, Star Trek Online has a standard monthly fee of $14.99 / €12.99. In addition to three- and six-month subscription bundles which cut the average monthly charge to $13.99 / €11.99 and $12.99 / €10.99 respectively, those who pre-order the game ahead of time also receive a code allowing them to access further discounts


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While a mammogram can be a literal life-saver for many women and has transformed health care professionals' ability to spot early stages of breast cancer, there are still a few flaws present in the mammogram screening process that can negatively impact the accuracy of this test.
Breast cancer awareness and prevention is an important part of a woman's health, and hearing about cases of breast cancer going undetected after receiving a mammogram can cause patients to mistrust the medical community.
So in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month, we're going to look at how the rising use of artificial intelligent (AI) in routine diagnosis and treatments could transform and improve the way we screen for breast cancer.
Why Mammogram Accuracy Matters
An astonishing 1 in 8 women develops a form of breast cancer during her lifetime. Even if you don't have a family history of breast cancer, it's important to be mindful of just how prevalent this form of cancer is for women.
Males reading this article should care about the accuracy of mammograms all the same. Physicians recommend that men who demonstrate the symptoms of breast cancer or disease undergo this imaging test, too.
Plus, the accuracy of a mammogram could mean the difference between saving a patient's life. When breast cancer is accurately detected early on, physicians are in a better position to form a treatment plan that can reduce the disease's impact on an individual's health.
How AI Could Be a Game Changer for Mammogram Reports
AI may just be the solution to many of the errors and issues currently present with mammogram screening. Here are the 3 simple ways AI could be a game changer for patients who undergo this crucial test.
1. Removing Content Bias
When you first step into your doctor's office, you may have a mental list of health concerns you're ready to discuss with your physician when they first enter the door. What you don't realize, however, is that your doctor is likely to compare your symptoms and concerns with that of their other patients — a flaw which can lead to serious misdiagnosing down the road.
Although many of the biases doctors form aren't conscious, they're still likely to possess implicit biases that influence the medical treatment they build for their patients.
This means that what a doctor or radiologist saw in a previous mammogram scan can lead to misinterpretation of other patients' future test results. While a doctor may not consciously use their past experiences as a source of influence, these subconscious thoughts and opinions impact their work nevertheless.
When conducting a self-exam, you may also experience one of several drawbacks of breast self-examinations, which includes misdiagnosing lumps or changes. When you add AI into the mix, however, you remove the likelihood of misdiagnosing results that occur from simple human error.
2. Reduce the Likelihood of Misdiagnoses
Imagine going into your doctor's appointment and nervously waiting for your mammogram. After the results come back, you get the dreaded call that your test scanned positive for cancer. You go through a whirlwind of emotions only to conduct follow up testing that shows that you don't have cancer after all.
Unfortunately, nearly 6-8 in every 100 women who receive a mammogram will experience a false positive on their scan. But even more dangerous than receiving a false positive, perhaps, is undergoing a false negative.
Roughly 17% of breast cancer cases go overlooked on mammogram results. When doctors look through the x-rays, they may misinterpret cancerous growths and tumors. Using AI technology will hopefully reduce the number of misdiagnoses — whether positive or negative — and bring women the accurate results they need to make an informed decision about their health.
3. Free Up More Treatment Time for Patients
Millions of women get a mammogram test every year. These millions of tests lead to even more hours spent examining these results. But what does this mean for you as a patient? For many, it signifies even less time spent consulting with your physician or GYN and receiving the care that you deserve.
Doctors have to decide how they divvy up their time, but fortunately, AI is making their time-management easier. Rather than spending countless hours in a lab scrutinizing x-rays scans, they'll be able to devote a more substantial portion of their day to listening to and caring for their patients.
So, the benefits of AI work both ways. Not only will patients enjoy receiving more accurate diagnoses and test results, but they'll also experience greater time spent learning about their health issues and voicing their concerns with their physician.
AI is transforming the way doctors diagnose and treat patients. As this form of technology becomes more prevalent in the future, it may successfully change how patients experience their healthcare — mammograms included.
Photo Credit: SewCream / shutterstock.com


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S'more Of Us To Love/
A little over a week ago Adam's brother and his family, including cousins Sam and Henry, moved from the East Bay to our neighborhood in Petaluma. We still can't believe it. In less than a month his folks will pack it up and join us as well, also just down the street, AND our best family friends from the hilly perch in Oakland are officially in contract on a house about 2 miles away, with plans to send their boys to school with ours. I don't know how this happened, it's like it's all coming together. When we moved here two years ago we didn't know a soul, and we assumed we were always going to be the lone family to the north. As the school years have passed we've built a little framily of like-minded transplants, and settled in as Petalumans. I run into people at the grocery store, we have a steady stream of kids running through our house, and Fridays tend to lead to late night hang outs with their parents. Now, it seems, we have it all. To celebrate our close proximity, we had the family over to break in our new fire pit.
For our campfire dessert we followed Jasper's instructions carefully (apparently he knows a lot about making S'mores).
I love: "You also need a campfire" and the descriptive: "Then you get a S'mores square that look smushy brown, white, and tan" Oxford comma. "They smell burnt". A boy after my own heart..
Welcome to P-Town Sam and Henry! We're so happy that you'll get to grow up together.


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Business Controller
We have a mission for a business controller at Zaventem!
For our client, one of the largest electronics companies in the world, we are looking for a business controller!
Your challenge
Are you an ambitious talent looking for a position in the heart of a commercial organization? Then this might be the job for you! As Business Controller you are the linking pin between Sales, Marketing and Finance and will contribute in our strategic journey to improve the lives of 3 billion people a year by 2025!
Your responsibilities
• Bring financial, sales & marketing processes to a higher level and maintain financial integrity
• Drive sustainable business growth (P&L responsible) by business case modelling and forecasting
• Manage working capital by coordinating customer cash collection activities and provide guidance and control to credit risk activities, with particular focus on distributors
• Ensure proper functioning, approval, registration and ROI processes for OPEX investments
• Improve forecast accuracy through supporting forecast to plan processes via the LEAN methodology
• Supportive in sales bonus incentives process
What we are looking for:
• Master degree with 5 year work experience in a similar role
• An excellent command of the English language and French or Dutch
• Team worker
• Self-driven and ambitious
• Ability to work in a virtual team with a wide array of stakeholders (cross-functional, cross-layer)
• Excellent modelling capabilities (conceptualize issues and translate in new (business) models (Excel)
• Knowledge of SAP
We offer you an exciting mission starting the first of October until the end of May 2020 (possibly extended).
Does this sounds interesting to you? Don't hesitate to contact me by phone (02 669 17 08) or by email (email@example.com)!
- function
- functional analyst / business analyst (m/f)
- employment type
- full time, freelance
- contract type
- long term contracts
- reference


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PTA Bans DECT 6.0 Cordless Phones because of Interference With Other Signals and OperationsPosted On Saturday, August 8, 2015 at at 9:59 AM by Owner
Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA), on Tuesday terming the use of Digital Enhanced Cordless Telecommunications DECT 6.0 cordless phones illegal, announced to step up its efforts to eradicate the sale and use of this device.
Our technical team has found that the strong signals of DECT 6.0, interfere with the signals of mobile phone operators, that's why we have banned the cordless in the country and sought law enforcing agency's help in eliminating use of this particular device, said PTA official.
DECT (Digital Enhanced Cordless Telecommunications) is an advanced remote phone innovation, which has made cordless telephones considerably more regular in both organizations and homes.In Pakistan likewise, a substantial number of buyers are embracing this new innovation because of its straightforwardness, voice quality and wide scope zone. But these devices are having a high range of frequency which causes interference in sensitive areas and cause hurdles in communications. For this reason PTA has taken steps to avoid these issues.


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Convince young men to shake off the stereotype of "Aussie blokes" not being able to talk about what's going on in their lives - and the fact that their lives don't conform to some simplistic macho stereotype, and that's OK.
Create copy and a "look" with a social film and clever headline-based posters that tackle the concept of what it means to be a man. Unusual media choices like street posters got the debate going where it needed to be - on the streets.
The results were fantastic, with all sessions booked out and very effectively raising the profile of the newstart company.


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Too Faced Natural Matte Eyeshadow Palette (2018) Review & Swatches
Too Faced Natural Matte Eyeshadow Palette ($38) makes a come back for Spring 2018 with a new selection of eyeshadows and new packaging. Many of you likely already own the original Natural Matte Eyeshadow Palette that launched three or so years ago. Recently, Too Faced relaunched the palette with a few re-promoted shades as well as some new ones.
I think a lot of people, myself included, thought this palette was repackaged and rep-promoted with the existing shades the original had but that's actually not the case. There are some new shades in here as well as a few that did appear in the original (such as Heaven). I will say though a lot of the shades do look a like a lot so, whether or not you wish to indulge or not is questionable. It might be something you wish to skip if you already own a lot of nudes or if you have the original palette.
One thing I have to express delight for that I also mentioned in my review of the Too Faced Natural Face Palette is the packaging. Too Faced seems to be moving away from tin packaging and replaced them with weight compact that had a slight raised and curved face plate with a lace floral design. Truly they did an outstanding and impressive job with this entire collection and after releases like the Life is a Festival Collection I think it is a refreshing change to see something so elegant and "grown up" from them. The does have a strong fresh coconut shea butter-like scent that I found very pleasant. It isn't like the face palette though which had a lingering scent. Once applied it does disappear.
One thing to note is price versus weight. Too Faced may have revised the packaging which likely is costing them more but the price remains relatively the same as the original. The original palette was $36 and this version is a mere $2 more plus it contains more as well at 0.45 oz of product compared to the original at 0.39 oz. I think if you got this from another brand like say Urban Decay you'd likely be paying $48 for it or so. I think the $38 keeps it in a nice mid-range safe zone. I find the price very attractive and reasonable. Right now, Too Faced is experiencing a peak of popularity and they do have the opportunity to raise their prices without pissing off their rabid fan base (some of us might balk but some of their fans are hardcore and likely wouldn't even notice the price raise if they did do one). But they made a smart choice to keep things pretty much the same and I appreciate that.
This palette seems like my dream palette. It literally contains all the elements I love in a nude palette. Dune shades, gorgeous creamy beiges, sultry browns, there are just so many shades I adore here. Obviously all the shades are matte and as a shimmer lover I was quite alright with that as I tend to wear mattes a lot lately (I'd have NEVER SAID that 5 years ago).
Sadly, I struggled with the shades a little. First off, many of them look muddy on my eye and I had a hard time creating contrast since they blended all together. I also experienced a weird issue with colors changing once I applied them on my lid. For example, Hook Up applied a lot darker on my lid than it appeared in the pan and turned into a bark brown versus the medium brown that appeared in the pan. There was fall out as well which drove me nuts. The texture of the shades are quite silky but I had a little patchiness during the blending process but nothing that a little primer didn't help.
I think the thing that disappointed me most was the fact that the shades looked muddy on me no matter which combinations I used. I kept ending up with this dark sultry bark brown look. It wasn't a bad thing by any means I just wish there was so distinction between the shades when I blended.
All in all, if you have the original the concept is the same here although, you do have a new round up of shades but you might want to test in store prior to purchasing since I felt the colors just didn't work together well and blended muddy on me. I think I might get better use using them individually than I will together.
Too Faced Natural Matte Eyeshadow Palette is available now at sephora.com, macys.com, and ulta.com.


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Kaiser Permanente Sponsors New Substance Treatment Curriculum
The Child Guidance Clinic offers specialized treatment for children with co-occurring mental health and substance use disorders. Our caring professionals offer assessment, education, referral, and treatment services with a focus of long-term recovery. The Clinic was awarded a grant from Kaiser Permanente Community Benefit Program to develop a new treatment curriculum to better identify and quickly treat clients with dual diagnoses.
The Clinic will be implementing the "Screening, Brief Intervention, and Referral to Treatment" (SBIRT) approach to the delivery of services for children and adults with substance use disorders. The SBIRT approach provides clinicians with the training and tools to quickly assess the severity of substance use, identify the appropriate levels of treatment, provide brief interventions focused on motivation toward behavior change, and referring clients to appropriate treatment programs.
In addition to implementing the SBIRT approach, the Clinic is developing new substance use programs to offer clients at each of our sites. These programs will offer multiple levels of care for clients as they progress through treatment. Staff training is currently underway and the new treatment programs will begin later this year.


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All news
January 30, 2017
architecture+ has announced that Brian Moran, RA, has joined the firm as an Architect. Moran, of Schenectady, New York, holds a Master of Architecture and a Bachelor of Fine Arts from University at Buffalo. His previous experience includes managing and designing projects for numerous healthcare and other institutional clients. At architecture+, he will be working on a variety of projects for our healthcare and higher education clients.


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Guinea Pigs Arrive at Willow Bank
New Arrivals for CHS
Willow Bank has two new names on roll - Doris and Mabel.
These names belong to two young female guinea pigs who are now housed at the school. Doris is 6 months old and Mabel is still only 8weeks old. They came all the way from a breeder in Staffordshire.
There is much evidence that animals can have a very positive impact on people's emotional wellbeing and these two little piggies are already bringing smiles to the student's faces. The animals will help students develop a sense of responsibility as they will be involved in the day to day care of the animals and a positive bond between an animal and a child can support academic, social, and emotional growth. They will also fit in with our Eco School aims, becoming part a great way to recycle some of our vegetable waste from the kitchen and the garden.
The guinea pigs are very well housed in a hutch kindly donated by the Fosse Park branch of 'Pets At Home' and they have a secure outside run in order to enjoy the last of the good Autumn weather.


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Land use audits and technical studies
On these pages you can find information on a range of subjects that inform Fife's planning policy and other Council strategies and plans.
We produce regular audits of:
- the housing land supply and the amount of housing completions
- the take-up and supply of employment land, and
- the amount of vacant and derelict land
We undertake studies to inform our retail policies, including a retail capacity study and surveys of household shopping and town centre perception.
In these pages you can also find studies and reports relating to landscape, forestry/woodland and transportation.
Find out more using the links on the left hand side of this page.


text: tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779417699455483715.post5485791574249220405..comments2019-03-28T00:05:10.724-05:00Comments on La Kocinera: Tortilla Soup and More Videos!Kocihttp://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779417699455483715.post-20169737816778969022013-02-12T02:47:42.584-06:002013-02-12T02:47:42.584-06:00You are amazing - I didn't know/realize that y...You are amazing - I didn't know/realize that you are learning Korean! My mom has been learning for the past 8 years or so and now she can communicate in Korean pretty well. I was really impressed... I've been here in the US for almost 16 years but my English doesn't seem to improve anymore. :( I love your tortilla soup. Video looks awesome!!Nami | Just One Cookbookhttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779417699455483715.post-36639736950898599122013-02-03T21:00:00.196-06:002013-02-03T21:00:00.196-06:00haha Tortilla soup definitely sounds yummier than ...haha Tortilla soup definitely sounds yummier than turtle soup. :D And good luck with your Spanish!Kocihttps://email@example.com:blogger.com,1999:blog-7779417699455483715.post-84851465907394634902013-02-03T16:04:21.341-06:002013-02-03T16:04:21.341-06:00Hahaha - I read "Turtle Soup" - tortilla...Hahaha - I read "Turtle Soup" - tortilla soup is so much nicer. Good luck with your Korean. I'm learning Spanish so your spanish recipe is good homework for me (homework you can eat is always good :)Hester @ Alchemy in the Kitchenhttp://email@example.com


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Squid wasn't my first choice for an undesirable meat. I went to BJ's last week to find tripe(cow's stomach) but the store didn't have any at the time. They also didn't have oxtails either but that is for another recipe. I saw a box of calamari tubes and tentacles, and I thought, "Nobody has ever heard of a calamari meatloaf before!"
This recipe is basically traditional calamari in a meatloaf form. It's 100% Italian.
Before this recipe, the last time I had calamari was a few years ago at an Italian restaurant in Howard Beach(Queens) and it was really delicious. And unlike the chicken liver meatloaf I made a couple of weeks ago, I was able to turn squid into something delicious.
You will need:
For the cooking vessels:
A lasagna pan
Nonstick cooking spray
For the meatloaf:
1/2 tbsp. of onion powder
2 beaten and whisked eggs
1/2 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese
1/2 cup of tomato sauce
Pinch of oregano
Pinch of basil
Pinch of salt
Pinch of black pepper
1 cup of breadcrumbs
1 pound of squid tubes and tentacles
1. Wash your hands! :)
2. Put the first 9 ingredients in a large bowl.
3. Only put the squid tubes in the large bowl next.
4. Mix all the ingredients together.
5. Spray a lasagna pan with nonstick cooking spray.
6. Form 2 loaves.
7. Garnish the meatloaves with the squid tentacles.
8. Bake in a 400 degree Fahrenheit oven for 15-20 minutes.
9. Bon appetit!


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I think we may have a loophole to get Marc Staal off the Rangers. Can someone check the CBA to see if a "No Move Clause" means a player cannot be fired into the sun?
Here's the Caps' last-minute, game-tying goal. Thanks to @hayyyshayyy for the GIF Hockey Making.
Yea the Caps should have received a too-many men penalty the previous shift. Shi(f)t happens. A lot goes wrong here, in all of 3 seconds. But Marc Staal Has Played 859 NHL Games, so let's see how his Experience drives this defensive effort.
At the start of the clip (0:00), Staal has chased Kuznetsov to the high slot. Kuznetsov's a left-hand shot, so that gives him a better shot angle, but [Steven Valiquette Voice] shots from that spot with one screen go in like 10% [i'm making this # up] of the time. Watch the GIF again and you can see Staal's mind and body struggling to decide between blocking a shot, and trying to intercept a pass to Backstrom. He does neither, but he certainly has set himself up as a nice screen for Hank if Kuznetsov does decide to shoot. Zibanejad has Oshie marked in the high slot, and Pionk is trying to prevent Eller from getting in the slot.
0:01. Staal doesn't stop the pass, and now a Player of 859 NHL Games would, you would assume, Hustle His Ass Back to the Slot He's Left Open. I mean, it's not like Backstrom is a good passer or anything. Backstrom is also a lefty shot, so he is in perfect position to move the puck to like 6 different options [including scoring on his own open net, but he's a passer not a shooter, and Staal is in perfect position to block that, so....]. Oshie has actually pulled up higher, and Zibanejad is planted in a reasonable spot. Eller has gotten position on Pionk. The stick in the bottom right is Ovechkin's.
0:02. Staal slllllllooooowwwwwwlly waddles his way back to the slot. Watch the GIF again because you'll think "this is the longest second in recorded time." But hey, Staal is doing a great job protecting the pass to...Zibanejad I guess? [GALAXY BRAIN: It's a brilliant defensive decision because Zibanejad has been scoring so much lately Backstrom could probably bank a goal in off him].
Pionk get's some WTF here too because he decides to back away from Eller, ass-first, and block a cross-crease pass to Ovechkin. A dumb decision, but it is Backstrom and Ovechkin, so you can at least understand why he might react that way. And if you watch the GIF closely, it almost looks like he's trying to play both guys at once, as he basically kneels to Hank's right, and kinda waves his glove at Eller as the pass comes. Perhaps if Staal was in the same zip code, he might have been more comfortable releasing Eller and covering Ovechkin. I think the other white jersey in the slot is Fast, and he's also caught in no man's land, never sure if he should go to Eller or Ovechkin. Of course, none of these decisions would need to be made if Staal just stood still before this play started.
The rest of the clip is 3 seconds of Eller scoring, the Caps celebrating, and Hank ripping another chunk of his beautiful hair out.
So what difference does it make?
Marc Staal has played 859 NHL games (regular season and playoffs). He joined the league in 2007. Since that time, 105 defensemen have played over 10,000 regular-season minutes. Staal ranks:
- 88th in raw Corsi +/- [-2611]
- 83rd in CF% [45.40%]
- 88th in raw xG+/- [-133.07]
- 82nd in xGF% [45.34%]
(all unadjusted, from Corsica).
Has anyone checked that CBA yet?
...Again I'm right in my analysis.


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Pressure to be a Girl Boss/
I have been thinking a lot around the idea of success lately. The first two definitions from the Oxford Dictionary are 'The accomplishment of an aim or purpose' and 'The attainment of fame, wealth, or social status'. I can't help but feel as though today there is a lot more emphasis on the latter or the perception of it at least.
Running my own business and sharing so much online means that I am faced with the idea or pressure of success head on most days of week. Doing so, it has meant that I have had to redefine my idea of success and constantly keep myself in check. For the purpose of trying to keep this blog post concise, I want to focus today on the pressure of building a 'successful' business.
During the last 5 years of working for myself I have felt the pressure to fit the type of the powerhouse woman who has a cool studio (not in your home), building an empire with employees and is perpetually 'busy' & 'tired'. Believe me, I felt silly even writing that. There is so much about that picture that isn't right for me but sometimes it can be hard to realise that and stand up for that. There are so many times that I have met other people in the business that either talk down to me for working from my home studio because it isn't "as professional looking", encourage me to expand expand expand, hire people, outsource my work so that I can take on more and more and more. I am not saying that they are wrong or that they aren't valid and good points but those types of conversations can leave you thinking 'Is what I am doing not enough?'
This is where I really had to ask myself why I was resistant to doing those things and work on defining my own idea of success. Why don't I want to work from a studio? Well first of all, I save so much time because there is no time spent getting ready for work or travelling. I also am able to save money on double rent which in return allows me to be less stressed about money. Why don't I hire a team of photographers/designers/interns etc? To be honest I really love working alone. I don't want to be the on delegating or outsourcing, I want to be the one doing the work. I don't want to get more work just for the sake of giving it to someone else and taking $$ off the top. I also am very aware of the cost of hiring and the level of productivity that would need to be brought to the table to make it worth it just isn't there at this moment. I absolutely freaking love working but constantly working nights and weekends isn't something that would make me feel successful. I am happy for it to maybe be a monthly occurrence but success to me is having a work / life balance. If that means not making insane amounts of money that is okay, if that means being more picky with what projects I take on, that is also okay.
One of the great things about working for yourself is that you have the freedom to do it the way you like. There is no point working for yourself and having that freedom only to do the status quo. Just because you don't have employees or a cool office space and working 60 hours a week doesn't mean you're not a boss. I wanted to write about this today to show you that there isn't only one idea of success, we don't all want the same things and that is okay.
As I am getting into my later 20s the personal ideas of a success are also becoming a lot more apparent, children, proposals, marriage and houses. Let me know if you would like me to touch on this in another blog post.
Jasmine x


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|Matthew Durant
Associate Professor, School of Nutrition & Dietetics, Acadia University, Canada
|I completed my bachelor degree in Nutrition from Acadia University in 1999. In 2003, I completed Master of Education in Educational Psychology and Human Relations from Mount Saint Vincent University. By 2008, I got Doctor of Philosophy in Interdisciplinary Studies from Dalhousie University. Presently, I am a clinical dietician and certified diabetes educator who teaches and conducts research related to medical nutrition therapy, specifically as it relates to parenteral and enteral nutrition support. I am entering my 15th year of teaching at Acadia University, in the School of Nutrition and Dietetics.
|Research Interest
|Medical Nutrition Therapy Parenteral and Enteral Nutrition
All Published work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution 4.0 International License
Copyright © 2019 All rights reserved. iMedPub LTD Last revised : September 14, 2019


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The Balance
Tackling a fairly huge DIY renovation while attempting at the same time to be a vaguely decent parent is hard work. Much as we want to get cracking with things like, ooh, painting the other half of the red bedroom ceiling (Andre slapped some white paint up there a few weeks ago but we haven't had time to finish the job!) we have a two year old who would be all too happy to get overly involved with a tin of Dulux paint and a step-ladder, and a two month old who likes to be cuddled for around 16 hours a day (cute!). So we have to find the right balance between spending time as a family, and spending time creating a home for us to spend time in as a family.
The way we manage things at the moment is to designate one day of the weekend as DIY day (where we take it in turns to either tackle a renovation project or get stuck into some potato printing), and the other day as family day, when all the power tools remain safely stowed in the cellar.
The UK basked in a glorious Indian summer for the first half of September, so we took the opportunity to visit beautiful Lyme Park, home of Mr Darcy (I was ecstatic to discover the BBC adaptation of Pride and Prejudice on Netflix at 4am a few weeks ago, so was in the mood for some stately home gazing).
Perhaps slightly more attractive than our own ornamental pond:
One daughter hastened towards the ducks, shrieking Quack! Quack! Quack!
The other slept peacefully in her sling.
We played hide and seek...
...and enjoyed strolling in the sun along the side of the lake.
(Naturally Rabbit came too.)
Any advice on managing family life and long-term DIY renovation? I'd love to hear your thoughts.


text: It's shoulder length, all blonde now (not like in my profile picture). It's a little shorter in the back and longer in the front. Both my boyfriend and I agree that I should get it shorter. I want something like the attached picture, but I can't see the top. Can anyone show me any examples of hair that is similar to that, and layered and punk-y?


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Insurance Bad Faith
Nationally Recognized and Respected Insurance Bad Faith Attorneys
When the unthinkable happens, insurance is one of those things you simply want to work. After years of paying premiums, you expect your insurance company to protect and defend you in the case of an emergency or accident. Unfortunately, many of these companies are more worried about their bottom line than the people they ensure.
We have all heard horror stories about people fighting with their insurance company for months, sometimes even years, about medical bills, property damages, etc. Our bad faith attorneys understand the anguish and confusion our clients feel when their insurance company does not meet their obligation.
With several thousands of insurance bad faith cases under our belts, our attorneys at Dollar, Burns & Becker have built a solid reputation as one of the preeminent plaintiff firms for this type of work. We vigorously represent our clients who are victims of insurance bad faith and have reached more than $130 million in verdicts and settlements for them with both small and large insurance companies.
Verdicts and Settlements
Understanding Insurance Bad Faith Claims
Our clients are often shocked to learn bad faith insurance lawsuits occur every day. Why are these types of cases prevalent? Insurance companies use statistics to determine how much to pay out for different circumstances such as loved ones dying, a home being destroyed or someone getting injured in the work place.
When one of their customers files a claim, they look at that individual's coverage and determine statically how to pay you as little as possible while still fulfilling their contractual obligation. This is true no matter what level of coverage you have.
Common examples of insurance bad faith include:
- Denying the insured or their loved ones the terms of their policies.
- Refusing to investigate in a timely manner.
- Settling for less money than deserved.
- Refusing to pay the claim without a reasonable basis.
- Delaying the payment of the claim.
For all these reasons, it is imperative to hire a lawyer who often litigates insurance bad faith cases. Insurance companies know our reputation, meaning you and your case will get the respect and attention you deserve.
In Your Corner
Tim Dollar and Tom Hershewe have built a nationwide reputation as the best, thanks to our vigorous representation of victims of negligence. With more than 50 years of combined experience, we fully understand how insurance companies operate as well as how each state differs on the awarding of punitive damages. We use this knowledge to pursue the maximum compensation for our clients and hold insurance companies fully accountable for their injustice.
At Dollar, Burns & Becker we take a leading role with legislative groups to defend victims' rights. To protect you and others down the road, we also hold insurance companies accountable and successfully require those responsible to end their bad faith practices.


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You know, although I do love to work, sometimes it's just not fun. And that's okay; nothing that involves working can be fun all of the time. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that training to be a Grand Prix Show Jumper in the future involves a lot of hard work!
Most of the time, the hard work doesn't bother me. Most of the time, I like it. Yesterday, however, it did bother me. It was hot outside, and I didn't want to work. I was on my best behavior for about ten minutes, and then I wanted to be done… but my Mommy had different ideas. So, unfortunately, I reverted back to my babyish ways… Tossing my head, trying to gallop through my lead changes, ignoring my Mommy's leg… I couldn't help myself! I mean, I know that my body is full grown, but sometimes I can't help acting like I'm still a baby.
…I guess you could say that I threw a tantrum.
I felt ashamed of myself, because all Mommy wanted was a few flying lead changes down the long side. But once I got it into my head that I didn't want to work any more that day, I just couldn't concentrate.
After trying a few more times, I did it – very grudgingly, and with no style at all – but at least I did it. And then we moved on to the next exercise, a serpentine pattern with a lead change at each curve.
Again, I protested. I still felt like I should have been finished already, but because I was still misbehaving, Mommy said I had to keep working. But I didn't want to, so I kept acting like a baby. Tossing my head, trying to gallop through my lead changes, ignoring my Mommy's leg… Yep.
After arguing with me for a while, Mommy finally decided that the best thing to do was to take a few steps back, and work on something very simple. She and I were both covered in sweat by that time, and I could tell that she was just as aggravated as I was! So, we abandoned the flying lead changes and did simple changes, instead. We stayed in the serpentine pattern, but instead of a lead change, she asked me to halt, and then pick up the opposite lead from a halt.
I was so embarrassed. I mean, I learned to do flying lead changes two years ago, and there I was in the arena doing "baby stuff." Simple changes.
But my Mommy told me that if I was going to act like a baby, she was going to treat me like one.
Well, after about 6 or 7 simple changes, Mommy asked me one more time for a flying lead change… and I did it perfectly. I did it with style. I did it as an apology to my Mommy, hoping she would recognize it as such… and she did! She gave me lots of pats on my neck, shoulders and back, and then she told me that I could finally be finished.
Trust me, I know what you're thinking. You're wondering why I still haven't learned that "Good Behavior = A Shorter Workout." And, as I've said before, I do know that… It's just that I get stubborn sometimes. I mean, my Mommy and Daddy raised me to be an individual, and as an individual, I have my own opinions.
It just so happens that my opinion yesterday was the opposite of my Mommy's opinion.
Anyway, when we were done, we hugged and made up. I still got to have lots of treats, and Mommy told me that she was proud of me for finally behaving, after all.
Needless to say, I tried my best to be really, really good today… I wanted very badly to show Mommy how well I could do my lead changes; consequently, I got a little too excited when she asked me to do them. But I did end up doing flying changes down the long side of the arena every 5 strides, and Mommy was very pleased!
Friends, if there are days when you don't want to work, just try to remember what I always forget: "Good Behavior = Shorter Workout." Even if you know that you're supposed to have a long ride that day, if you behave perfectly and do everything your human asks you to do, there won't be anything extra to work on. But if you misbehave, your human will want you to work extra hard, which always translates to a longer workout.
And that's my advice for the day. I think I'm going to hit the shavings for a while and have a nap. It's nice and cool in my stall with the fan on! I'll catch y'all later…