text:
...a movie actually worth looking forward to!
i have to be honest, i still haven't seen ALL of amelie or delicatessen. watched the first half of amelie with a girl at college, but i bailed halfway through when she fell asleep and it became apparent that i wouldn't be getting sex.
I saw it at SXSW and really loved it. Kind of like a zany Ocean's Eleven.
At least I hope so. It's been A Very Long Gap since A Very Long Engagement. Why the six year gap?
...that has aint or it or cool or news on the poster...
...jmapelle votre stepdaddy... dix-neuf!...
PS: dix-neuf sounds like these nuts...
AUTHORS NOTE: 19 is yourstepdaddy favorite number...
Saw this in December (yay) and can't wait to see it again in the theater. Just a giant load of fun and happy poured onto the screen.
Very much looking forward to getting my mucky eyeballs locked on to this one.
the preferred derogatory term is "Frogs" get with it.
One of those "select few sheets" that actually makes me want to see the flick. Well done!
April 5, 2010, 7:15 p.m. CST
by ConstructionShirker
Native American
Ah thanks for brief logline. Bah.
Looking forward to this one, although I'm getting kind of tired of Jeunet's... How do I put this... Sensibilities maybe?
 Time for the guy to evolve a bit more, he's been feeding us the same dark, but very sugar coated pill for 20 years now.
That's why it got posted. Still, I wish there was some sort of logline or plot summary for the rest of us ignorant talkbackers to understand what this movie will be about.
Agreed. Jeunet was progressive and exciting but he never matured beyond what he first offered. Not all film makers have to but when you're showing off a sense of style people tend to get tired of the show after a while.
and one of my favorite films, along with ALIEN and Seven Samurai is Delicatessen.
Thought it sounded familiar, but I had to reread my review to be sure: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42383
What Jeunet needs to do is stretch. Like if he... say... took over some respected sci-fi series and put his own quirky French spin on it. I think that would be tits.
I hate when they quote AICN- you never know it it's a random Harry review, a trustworthy reviewer like Massa or Capone, or a random reader-submitted review. At least Copernicus is a smart guy I can put some stock in.
 It's the same as when a TV spot quotes the reviewer from Fox TV Miami or something. They might be totally trustworthy, but it seems shady.
Saw this a few weeks back at my local indie cinema, just great, whimsical, true, but with a biting satirical edge... well worth checking out.
Despite the story of the mad man on the oll rig who is a dream stealer. couldnt understand a single thing that went on in that movie.
such a cool damn movie
this is the first movie this guy has directed since 2004, that's a while
alongside Kick Ass, The Way Back, Inception, Tree of Life and Never Let Me Go. That's all that matters this year for me.
That movie was my first brush with Ron Perlman and I've been a fan of him and Jeunet ever since. That movie is like a dream illustrated
I really hate to say that because I'm a big Jeunet fan, but it's fuckin' true. I think he was just trying to be too normal. Here's hoping for a return to nuttiness with Micmacs.
Still pretty fucking underhanded to quote a talkbacker without giving credit.

Actually.....THAT'S FUCKIN' BULLSHIT MAN!
If you consider the series dead in the water after part 3, as most do, I thought Alien Res. wasn't a bad tombstone. It was basically a remake of the first - get together a crew with personality to spare, set them loose in a haunted house and see what happens. Action was decent. Had a few nice references to the other movies. Looked great. Had a bit too much Winona and freaky half-Aliens, but really, why is it hated so?
Am I lost?
but didn't know if it was an actual BAMF or not. *looks around*
Let's take this place over anyway.
...let the Pedalbackery flow!
If you ever want to clear a room, just start giving people to the Clarence Bodikker/hooker treatment.
I'm a sucker for Desmond-centric episodes. Aside from Hurley and Sawyer, he's the best character on that show.
THE TIGERS ARE PLAYING IN TOWN TONIGHT!
 I never miss a game
watched Bad Lieutenant (2)...nic was fucking weirdly over the top again. good to see he has it.
the valentines day ep..
I'm getting chills thinking about it right now.
I hear good things, but I'm not sure if I should start trying to get into something in the middle of its season.
whenever we BAMF?
I work for Dick Jones! DICK JONES!!
...Tardis sound...
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fJ_bKX0Wjv4
I tend to imagine scene change music from the old Batman TV show. Duh-duh-duh-deh-dee-duh-duh! Batman!
They are throwing repeats around on tv. And there really isn't any continuity so picking up shouldn't be a prob.
but when I'm done, maybe you can...fit me in.
That was one of Arrested Development's biggest problems when trying to draw in new viewers. So many running jokes that made little sense without a little background.
Just leaving it for the bitch. I wish I knew what Kurtwood Smith was up to now. I wanna say I saw him do a bit role not too long ago, but I can't remember what movie.
I love how bob loblaw played by Scott baio replaced Henry winkler as the familys lawyer..which is basically what he did on happy days
That sucks. If there was ever a movie that I would like to think has no fans whatsoever, it's A:R. Terrible movie. Some of the same people are blasting A Very Long Engagement, which for my money, is one of Jeunet's best.
...I just wish it wasn't an ALIEN sequel.
With his white suit..how very panama jack company man that was!
On the phone with Portia de Rossi, who thinks he wants to have phone sex with her.
 BL: I do have to tell you that I'll be needing to get off in five minutes.
 PdR: Hmmm. Well, let me see if I can hit that mark for you.
 Cut back to Bob Loblaw on the speakerphone with his secretary furiously transcribing the conversation.
I haven't seen A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT, but I really liked CITY OF LOST CHILDREN. AMELIE, however, underwhelmed me.
...before I let myself get into it, for that very reason. Besides, I've already got The Office, Parks and Recreation, 30 Rock, and Parenthood to keep up on. That's enough.
I can hear Scary rustling right now.
I like that crazy, tiny moustache he had.
They should even let him play the guitar and sing.
One xenomorph on human scene too many.
I swear, the man has a best supporting actor Oscar in him.
I expected much more from it based on the amount of praise that it was getting upon its release. Then I saw it and thought it had some cool visuals, but I just didn't give two shits about the main character.
...is that it's an ALIENS movie.
 Well, that, and someone needs to revoke Jeunet's license to own and operate midgets.
the General pours a glass of whiskey for Michael Wincott's character and he uses a whiskey cube that melts into a single shot after putting it under a tiny, blue laser. I just kept thinking, "What a useless piece of technology?" It was a movie filled with shit like that where utterly pointless things were added into the movie to make it either seem more horrific or more SF than it actually was. A stupid, stupid movie.
Whimsical and twee shouldn't exceed 105 minutes.
...is that it's in the Alien series. Otherwise, I would have turned it off somewhere around the backwards basketball shot.
... reasonable.
April 7, 2010, 12:08 p.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
Even when I lost my virginity and lasted like 45 seconds. Alien 4 was more anticlimactic than that. I also totally blame it for giving the Alien series a tongue-in-cheek attitude that allowed it to be so easily exploited for the AvP shitstorm.
Of course, I feel that way about a lot of movies, not just ones involving whimsical aspects. Like, say, if you're making a movie involving giant robots or if your movie is based off of a Disney theme park ride.
I'm lucky if I lasted that long.
I was wanting to go just a little bit longer. Must have been exceptionally pathetic for my girlfriend at the time.
fantastic/whimsical movies, ran 101 mins. 'Nuff said, as the kids would say.
to being apprehensive about The Hobbit being spread over two movies.
the RED RIDING TRILOGY its 303 minutes.
fiancee's parents for the first time.
I'm looking for advice. How much should I drink during this gathering?
For God's sake it was the shortest of the books and now it's being turned into the longest of the movies. I heard that del Toro was planning to spend an entire hour just on the Battle of the Five Armies. That's unbelievably excessive, considering that part of the book was...what?...ten pages max. I don't like the last Harry Potter movie getting spread out, either. Especially since that book had no natural breaking point.
Saw some trailers for it on IFC and it looked pretty cool.
If not, keep it two a couple of glasses of wine or beer and nothing heavier. If so, get them to start drinking and copy their every order. Unless, of course, your parents don't drink. Then you should once again take it back a notch.
 Biggest thing to remember though is that they are most likely to think of each other in a negative light or simply not talk and cause a negative air about the gathering. Or they'll get along famously and you will just have to attempt to not look annoyed.
...ALIEN 3 had already shit the bed.
 Being disappointed with ALIEN 4 is like being disappointed with ATTACK OF THE CLONES...or INDY 5.
...just fine, but you don't want to get too chatty...loose lips sink ships.
snobs, either. My mom doesn't drink, but my stepfather does ... too much.
I just want to be numb through the whole thing. I've actually spent more time with my fiancee's parents over the past three years than with mine.
You all BAMF'ed and I THWAP'ed. It's been that kind of a day.
So that you can drink more than anyone else and without anyone noticing. Flasks are like a golfer's handicap- it brings us all to the same level.
Jebus, Sixies! This alleyway has been black-boxed and FETTed.
You better not be setting us up for trouble.
it was interesting..they gel pretty well but that anticipation of the meeting was harsh..plus my newborn son (not my wifes) was there as a distraction..
no jacket required. but drinks were needless to say.
...particular interest in hanging out. They've met, of course, but only a couple/three/four times.
 I'm a strong proponent of a two state solution if at all possible.
itll be alright..FETT was just a coinkydink!
i picked it for its brevity.
At my fiancee's parents' house. Lots of food and snacks, and aunts and uncles from both sides will be there, too. They all probably won't meet again until the wedding next year. I just want it over with.
Luckily, I think everyone else is on board with that.
Than she does with my sister-in-law!
 My girl's parents have yet to meet my mom, but that's going to happen in the next month or so. I feel no nerves about that whatsoever.
April 7, 2010, 1:14 p.m. CST
by Subtitles_Off
of meeting my parents. Combining the two sets has never even occurred to me.
...no worries then.
 If your family is anything like mine I'm sure you have at least one insane aunt to act as a decoy/diversion/rodeo clown.
Seemed like a nice noob.
I always end up drinking too much when I'm uncomfortable.
to still like it. And I have since seen the Special Edition which is a pretty teriffic movie. Alien 4 was just shit from beginning to end, IMHO. To this day, I have a hard time accepting people's excitement over Joss Whedon 'cause his grubby little fingers were on A:R.
We just gotta get this talkback's numbers up so he can track us down.
April 7, 2010, 1:20 p.m. CST
by Six Demon Bag
and it never gets boring.
We haven't talked about Batman forever.
GAWD forbid we start talking about Val Kilmer.
Jack Johnson'd let you borrow his sweater.
Let the talkative aunt dominate the proceedings. And, most importantly Col., know that it will never be as bad as you might be imagining it to be.
 At least it's not my parents meeting new people. My dad would probably make a weird joke and then strip down into his underwear and start watching football. My mom would try to make everyone at the gathering like her and in the process would make some incredibly inappropriate conversation.
..."future fiancee" to just fiancee...did you buy a ring and stuff, or did booking the dj make it official?
 I'm just going to start calling her Mrs. Heart...if that's OK with you.
first hit HBO or Showtime or whatever. I actually kinda liked it. I haven't seen it since then, though, so who knows what I'd think of it now ...
fucking genius!
and pretend like it's the weekend. Ah. Can't you see that it's just rainin'? There ain't no need to go outside.
If you don't like Bale as Batman, you just don't like Batman.
April 7, 2010, 1:28 p.m. CST
by ColonelFatheart
using "future fiancee." Unless I did. In that case, I would be wrong. We've been engaged since December.
make sure it's the 2 1/2 hour cut. It has actually held up quite well.
...to learn that in June I'll have been married 13 years. At 37 that's more than a third of my fucking life.
 Is that the Pedalback record?...I should write a book or something.
I liked his kind of oblivious style when he was dealking with others as Bruce Wayne. Actually, I just like Batman Forever. It's campy and showed the symptoms of the ills that would plague Batman and Robin, but Kilmer was fun and the lighter tone was a nice change of pace. "I'm sorry, but manipulating brain waves. Mind control. It just raises too many questions."
...that' it.
 My disabled learning ability acting up again.
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...announcement of Ridley Scott's ALIEN prequel project, I put forward the idea that if by some miracle the movie is good, then I can consider THE PREQUEL, ALIEN, and ALIENS a tidy trilogy (since I deny the existence of 3 and 4 anyway)...and hardcore purists can deny the existence of ALIENS and just watch the two Scott directed movies...happiness and joy for everyone.
 Anyway, some guy was really upset with me about it, we went round and round...HOW CAN YOU DENY THE EXISTENCE OF MOVIE! EVERYTHING IS CANON OR NOTHING IS CANON!!! YOU DON'T GET TO PICK AND CHOOSE!!!!
 It was odd, even for this place.
 In my head, STAR WARS is a trilogy, and THE MATRIX is just one movie. I mean, when you say JAWS, you mean JAWS, not JAWS 4...right?
No MATRIX beyond the first. JAWS beyond the first.
In broad terms.
That's a lot of "Yes Dear" 's
...I pick and choose as I see fit.
 In the words of the great sage Bob Ross...it's my little world.
...was directed at Colonel's question about "canon", but I'm going to pretend I meant it for ST too...
 Thanks ST!
And started talking about Kilmer anyway. It's a bad habit of mine. If someone says God forbid something happens, I do everything in my power to make that thing happen. It's just too much of a temptation. Like a big red button with a sign that says DO NOT PUSH. Well, what else would I do?
But, then again, I was completely mistaken about where the story was heading. I would have been able to look past all that shitty Zion stuff if they'd made the movie I'd thought I was watching. It wasn't until Revolutions came out that I realized how wrong I had everything and just how bad this was all about to get. I'll still take Reloaded, and just pretend that it ended how I wanted it too.
whenever someone mentions Jaws. Or if someone mentions Michael Caine. Or Jamaica. It's just hard to get past a movie where a shark jumps out of the water AND ROARS! One of the stupidest movies ever made.
..er something the XI showed Orcus
You must be talking about Werewolves on the Moon, the new residency of all the CoCers.
I think he should be in a gangster movie. He could make one hell of a scary Irish gangster IMO...or union boss.
Anyone else watch Modern Family every week? Frikkin' hilarious show.
Just because the sight of Al Bundy with that hot of wife makes my blood boil in petty jealousy.
I feel like talking about stupid comic book shit today.
I still haven't had a chance to check it out, opting to wait until it's on DVD, in case it's the type of show that has a lot of running gags that would hinder my ability at catching up.
a priest who's caught between his faith and his loyalty to the church, as he runs a parish that's been a dumping ground for pederasts.
on that short-lived Dragnet series from a few years back.
That short lived series where he is a cop in NY working with the FBI.
Honestly, I've forgotten about that movie. Might be time for a re-watch.
 I've never heard of Big Apple. Was it any good? Huh, people like seeing Dutch as a cop.
bit part but he fit in perfectly.
Its got a good cast- Denzel, a pretty damn hot Angelina Jolie, Ed O'Neill, Luis GUZMAN, Queen Latifah...
 I haven't watched it start to finish but once, but it was on a few weeks ago and I caught a bit of it around the middle as I did some work, the scene where they figure out where one of the victims is in the sewers and they try to rescue her before its too late. But alas, the trap is sprung and the woman has her face melted off by steam.
It was on CBS and it tried to be a serious cop show, kind of like the Wire before the Wire. Unfortunately it was on CBS, so it was very watered down. Not nearly as gritty as it should have been.
Jon Polito needs to work more. I fucking love him. And I love Guzman too.
cool.
and K9!!!
"Are you givin' me the high hat?"
I personally just found it so dumb. I couldn't suspend disbelief for a second that Angelina was a cop, or buy the motive and Modus Operandi of the killer. It was just so forced IMO.
 Which kind of sucks, because in many ways it was an interesting set up for a new take on Nero Wolfe.
...first came out, but I'd have given it about 2.5 out of 5.
 Of course, I was pretty burned out on the whole post SE7EN serial killer craze at the time.
But my memory of those movies is a little vague. The main thing I remember from Spartan is when that Antwonne Fisher kid bought the farm in an incredibly surprising way and Val Kilmer's thing about why you shouldn't smoke in the desert.
April 7, 2010, 2:59 p.m. CST
by D.Vader
I remember the actor who played the killer but not the whys and wherefores.
 And wasn't Angelina not really a cop but a pathologist detective or something?
Who can forget where the shark leaps out of the water, jumps OVER A BOAT, snatches a guy out of the crow's nest, and that guy still survives. Or when Mrs. Brody rams the shark with the boat and the SHARK EXPLODES FOR NO REASON!!! God that movie is astounding.
Get it together Continentalop. I obviously meant movie.
 But that would be an interesting idea. Tough competition for Student Movers.
I think I've got whatever Conti's got.
Remember she finds the body and has the foresight to take photos of a footprint next to a pen for perspective. Denzil ask that she work with him.
 And the killer was basing all of his murders on an old book about crime in NY, kind of like a "Gangs of New York" with all these all sketchings, but about murders.
...the reaction to things.
 Sure, we love OLIVER TWIST now, but maybe at the time I would have needed another fucking orphan story like I needed a fart in my figgy pudding.
April 7, 2010, 3:08 p.m. CST
by D.Vader
I guess I've only picked it up after the beginning and watched until the end, bc I don't quite remember her finding the first body being a uniformed beat cop at first. I do remember the MO for the killer now, I guess I meant the motive. Confused MO with motive for a second there. I actually like that crazy idea that he was basing the deaths on old NY crime. Made me think of someone recreating Jack the Ripper or something.
i couldve sworn that when i saw that film..mario van peebles died in the film...
then when i saw it on HBO he lived....
April 7, 2010, 3:12 p.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
to be the eyes and ears of Denzel. I don't remember much about the killer except some scene where he had a victim in a room with a steam pipe and the guy roasted to death.
 You're right, Flick. there was a time in the mid to late 90's where serial killer films were all the rage. I personally still love "Copycat."
 Oh, man, ContinentalOp, "M" was a helluva a show. I remember hearing a lot about it for a long time and just not checking it out. Then I caught it late one night on AMC a few years back. Damn. That opening with the little girl and the balloon was a hellacious shocker.
I saw that movie in the theater. I was a little fella, in love with all things JAWS. I feel bad for my uncle, who took me to see it.
It is one of the most obviously stupid endings in history. You see MvP getting fucking swallowed underwater and in the last shot of the movie he pops up without a scratch.
yeah there was an alternate..the OG..he dies and exploded...
then they changed it cutting and pasting the shark death from the first film! and letting him live, mario that is.
Was something like he was a disgruntled ex-coroner or something who Denzil once testified and said he gave bad evidence. Ruined his career.
 Lothar, yeah I love M. The balloon just stuck up in that wire or whatever it is is great visual, and the sound of him whistling is just so creepy. I also love how half-way through the movie you are made to sympathize with Lorre. Lang was Hitchcock before there was a Hitchcock.
...Alien 3 was better than Aliens.
Just kidding. I disagree, but if you like 3 better I am cool with that. I just like doing provocative subject lines.
Xi joined Orcus on Facebook and pointed the site Out to Orcus. Heck there are several of us on Facebook, do you have an account there?
Why don't I remember that? I remember Van Peebles being killed, I remember Michael Caine surviving, I remember Ms. Brody stabbing the shark with the front of the ship (which was also a part of the old Nintendo JAWS video game), but I definitely DO NOT remember the shark exploding!
Under Conti Nenta Lop. I'm friends with Xi.
 Nenta was my granddad's name.
I can almost agree with 'moose. Alien 3 certainly gives Cameron's movie a run for its money. The only thing that holds back A3 for me is some unconvincing effects work and, in the production edit, a first hour that's a little slow in spots. Otherwise, it's a great movie. And Charles S. Dutton is one bad motherfucker.
I'd love to see the gnashing of the teeth and rending of garments that would commence after you say that on an ALIEN(S)-related thread. That would make for a great day in talkback history.
...which removes the Queen bursting out of Ripley as she falls, as well as adds much needed scenes that bring a lovely, mad quality to the overall film.
Can't tell who else I'm friends with. Mavra and someone else whose AICN name I can't decipher yet.
First the shark pops up out of the water and begins roaring like a lion...while treading water and staying very still. Then Mrs. Brody has a flashback to Chief Brody killing the shark in the first movie. That's right. She has a flashback to an event that she was not a part of. She steers the boat and just as Brody says, "Smile you son of a BITCH!" the shark is impaled by the prow. And then, for no reason, it explodes. Great ending.
was so much more fleshed out. And that subplot about capture the beast and it getting free again was a pretty incredible subplot. You just sit there going, "Well, what the fuck's gonna happen now?" I also miss in the theatrical cut just how much of the doctor's character was cut. His death in the assembly cut is now shocking and a little heartbreaking. He was almost as much the main character as Ripley and then he buys it. Great movie.
It was called The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay.
What would Scooby do?
April 7, 2010, 3:32 p.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
but was still fun for about five minutes. I don't remember the goal. I just swam around eating people. Man, them body surfers were wily little bastards. No wonder there aren't more shark attacks every year. We humans are a difficult prey.
Back then, anyway... when we would rent it from the local Kroger's grocery store.
 Hey you know there was a JAWS game released a few yrs ago for the next-gen systems, right? I just remember seeing footage on G4's X-Play. You controlled JAWS as he went on a rampage through the oceans, with special moves like the CHARGING JAWS where you sprinted forward and ate everything in your path.
 I saw him attacking/eating divers and orcas. And the best part was, you could make JAWS leap out of the water and thrash around on boats or even on LAND! It looked fucking crazy, seeing that super-large shark thrashing around eating pple as they ran away. SNL's Land Shark for real.
...that movie came out around the same time as LETHAL WEAPON 3...between the two of them I grew up hard that year...the world is a hard and uncaring place.
 You can't go home again.
 Chaos fucking reins.
It got pretty creepy as you crawled through tunnels, constantly vigilant and waiting for aliens to jump in after you.
Let's...um...get dicking?
and ECCO THE DOLPHIN
The way I remembered it, she had picture of her husband, but they were pictures of him on the Orca as it sank from the first movie, as if someone took a strip of film from JAWS and blew up an image to be framed photo.
 That's how I remember it, but I guess what I'm really remembering was a black and white flashback sequence.
 But I also seem to remember her having a flashback to Brody being killed by a shark? That was the implication? I guess that was my assumption as a kid.
April 7, 2010, 3:38 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
I remember the music being pretty good, for instance.
...I'm not sure I saw all of that.
 If I see shit on the sidewalk I try to not step in it.
with boobies?
...stiff socks give me a blister.
...I REALLY like boobies.
What's happening, exactly?
What game are we playing again?
http://tinyurl.com/jawsnes
 Click the screen to focus the keyboard on it.
 Controls:
 Start - Enter
 Select - Ctrl
 A - X
 B - Z
 Directional Pad - Arrow Keys
In Jaws 3, the shark goes to Sea World. The movie was supposed to be in 3-D and the result is an obviously plastic toy shark with fake blur lines around it coming slowly at the screen every time something happens. And there's a couple of dolphins that everyone thinks the shark killed, but he didn't. The dolphins are alive, they even cause a distraction for the shark when it's chasing Dennis Quaid. And there's an Australian guy, and he's got grenades. The shark eats him, but doesn't swallow. In the end, Lou Gossett Jr. pulls the pin on a grenade that the recently chomped but not swallowed Aussie is holding. KABLOOIE! Great movie.
The Harrison Ford is in Cowboys and Aliens TB I mean.
...England Need Less Than A Fart In Their Figgy Pudding.
 Not much of a game...really.
Same time, same thought...
 06:51:18
Dude, that was a great summer. I remember getting all excited over the posters for those movies and forcing my older brother like ten times a week that he'd take me to both of them. Good times.
...someone's face was down there...
 Rejoice!
Its got a hot young Lea Thompson in it. And the fake shark- whose tail never moves- comes gliding slowly toward the camera, then BOOM! Shattered glass goes flying straight into my eyes!
...Was the dead Aussie just sorta floating around in the shark's mouth, holding a grenade.
 Even as a kid, I thought "Why doesn't the shark swallow that dude?"
 You'd think a relentless eating machine would finish eating one guy before going after another.
I was finally able to do it without falling off the couch and then BLAMMO! I sneezed.
4 life.
Somebody was gonna go there.
He needed a little Quaid to wash him down.
April 7, 2010, 3:58 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
It's obvious that our bodies don't want anything to do with it. Why bother?
AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! Get him out of there!
..."boogers on my ball-sack"...throw in eight very dirty martinis and you have the beginning of an interesting evening...
Fucking yuppie posers.
Wot am I gonna do?
Dancing out his issues... if only I were gay and could dance. I'd be dancing all the fucking time!
April 7, 2010, 4:10 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...and seventeen martinis.
The Man Your Man Could Smell Like?
This is too much of a "Powerthirst" swipe.
He had some 'Man Who Knew Too Little' moves there.
 Great movie, by the way. The end of the classic Murray, in my opinion.
he'd only dance every once in awhile?
I've turned my back on corn for the past few years. I certainly will have the periodical corn tortilla, but I refuse corn in its most conspicuous forms- corn on the cob, corn chowder, cream of corn, etc. Corn is a worthless fucking crop nutritionally speaking. And the corn lobby in this country chooses our presidents. Corn is the devil. Shoepeg Satan... fuck corn.
April 7, 2010, 4:13 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...blue cheese oozing out of your olives.
McQueen rule #5,543 Don't dance, young fella. Let them come to you.
Were made by Tim and Eric of Awesome Show Great Job!
he'd eat that skinny chick and her boyfriend in the tights.
LOVE it! Popcorn! Sweet corn! High Fructose Corn Syrup! Corn! Corn! Corn!
a layer of corn.
The devil's alternative fuel.
My younger brother and I loved the Hell out of that little caper. And Alfred Molina was great in it too. Loved the Russian dance sequence with the explosive matryoska t the end.
I didn't know Tim and Eric were involved. I now have increased reason to murder them in their sleep.
It's legit.
Why won't somebody take that fucking camera away from them?!
I don't know their background, but I wouldn't be shocked to learn that they were both Creative Directors who conned their way into a pitch meeting w/ Adult Swim. They're the type of guys that would email the entire company stupid shit all day long, do no work and drive convertibles and get 8 weeks vacation.
I'm not afraid to admit it.
The dude in the elephant head shoulda kicked his ass.
CCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!
 CCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

 CCCCOOOOORRRRNNN!!!
 CCCCCOOOOORRRRRNNNN!!!!
Love for TMWKTL! That's why I hang here!
Especially where he encounters his first dead body and is trying to startle the corpse into breaking out of character. Classic.
a Talking Carl phone app.
Suck my boogery, rat-licked genitals, technology!
How do you think I know? She told me. That's how I found out."
April 7, 2010, 4:28 p.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
Guys that go to a pitch meeting in their underwear, riding each other like pack mules. And everyone just kinda looks at one another wondering why these assholes, who keep sending everyone in the company video of themselves spanking each other in the executive bathroom, get paid more than them.
a ballet tiger for that?
"Oh good! Did they make it fun?"
...You just stabbed me with your pen."
They're awesome in my estimation.
You really dislike the guy riding the horse backwards with the handful of diamonds?
I've always been tempted to run over those damn traffic cones as well.
Those were class acts I tell you what.
That's on my IPod, actually, along with the letters quote from above.
 I really, really like that movie.
April 7, 2010, 4:36 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
 http://tinyurl.com/yacd7o8
Sometimes I cannot take this place
 Sometimes it's my life I can't taste
 Sometimes I cannot feel my face
 You'll never see me fall from grace
Ya gotta sign in ta watch that one?
Where on earth did that come from?
April 7, 2010, 4:44 p.m. CST
by YackBacker
Some are benign, others are annoying.
Now look at me.
You're looking at the man that you could smell like.
Quote those stone cold Korn lyrics.
Smell-envy! The Smell of En-V. Alright, I'm gonna go offline for a bit. Keep up the TMWKTL love!
http://tinyurl.com/yfjlj5b
 My will to live is depleting.
That would make you a mad man.
If you go to the loo, make sure to flush.
Harrison Ford IS gonna be in Cowboys & Aliens? That's pretty awesome.
the last Twilight movie. He decided that the final, two part extravaganza of the Twilight saga was worth his time more than a potentially Oscar winning biopic of Richard Pryor. My respect for Bill Condon just dropped sharply.
You guys are all at the shelter talking bad about me, aren't you.
I might think about watching it. MIGHT. For a moment.
an itchy rash where I can't scratch.
Actually I forgot my password to log into google and get into the shelter, and I'm too lazy to get up and find it.
I could watch a Twilight musical. Especially if it was given some period detail and then the story was radically changed to be like a teenage girl/vampire version of "Fatal Attraction" where Bella becomes obsessed and scares Edward away. Or fuck it, get really subversive and just make these things comedies for fuck's sake.
like U need a holeinyohead.
Baby, baby.
of directors they wanted. So was Sofia Coppola. I can't help but wonder what Summit thinks they have on their hands here. I can't imagine what kind of sustained genius it would require to make those movies, or the books, into anything other than short-lived niche successes.
the last TWILIGHT movie in the style of his TOUGH GUYS DON'T DANCE. Wings Hauser and all.
Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man! Oh God, oh man, oh God!"
...to let her cut off my nipples and sew buttons on my chest so we'll match.
 She claims the procedure is painless, but fuck that.
I don't if that scene is batshit crazy good or off-the-rails bad. That'll prolly vex me until my dying day.
to come back and do a TWILIGHT move like we need scolding Jewish grandmothers where our girlfriend's sexy bits used to be.
We might as well all just become giant vaginas speaking queefese.
And he'd be right, of course.
but he thought its badness added something to the movie, according to IMDB.
April 7, 2010, 5:41 p.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
Til the next crazy time.
Can you hear them?
Can you hear them?
And Subby?
Keep fuckin' that chicken, Pebrews.
Watch out for Aussies.
If you shoop for your employers, don't let them know about this.
 http://tinyurl.com/yf8pagg
Photographs will soon NEVER AGAIN BE ADMISSIBLE AS COURTROOM EVIDENCE in a trial!
For example, only photographs shot on film- with the negatives to prove they were not altered digitally- will be admissible? That surely would help the film industry in the future. I just don't see all these technologies coming out and courts allowing photos to still be used as evidence when they can clearly be manipulated to show ANYTHING nowadays.
Content Aware Fill is the new "replacement for talent".
:What up PB
How's everyone on this fine Wednesday afternoon?
What's happening?
i been away for a few days. was there a new edition Teddy?
Seeing it in French are you?
when i was a kid I thought it was the greatest
Cheeses, I certainly hope not. Ha, I thought that was Italian...
I'm illiterate in numerous languages...
I'd never even heard of it until it popped up in the Alamo Drafthouse calendar.
So you have never seen it Teddy?
I'm sure it is terrible in a good way but as a kid I thought it was the shit.
I was too young to know what that meant though.
I just wish I had brought something to work with me to put me in the right frame of mind before the movie.
 Know what I mean?
Geniuses, one and all, I'm sure.
Youth in Asia will kill your Grandparents...
It just had to be.
that was a clever play on words on thier part...Imagine when they hear about euthanasia and in their minds they think of roving ninja mercy killers led by Obama's Death Tribunal on the loose killing old people at random...
...It still makes me ashamed to be an American.
 I guess I'm an Ameri-can't.
I'd PAY to see that!
You're Pebrew...with all the rights and entitlements that honor bestows...
Maybe the pedalback should just declare Statehood and become a nation...
Then we just tax all the lurkers until they decide to post and become a citizen...
Thanks for reminding me of my true heritage.
 be praised!
for Stoner and Toots...The asian street gang called "Youth in Asia" who are pushing poisoned heroin onto certain dealers causing chaos inthe underground...
They should be a re-occuring threat...
What a great shot!
Stoner and Toots battle the Youth in Asia. Ninjas all under the age of 16.
That McDonalds display was so homo.
It's your patriotic duty, wives!
Protect the sac!
of a drunk high Stoner fighting 3 8yr old ninjas. They are beating his ass but he is a full grown man and so drunk that their blows are barely felt. He staggers around flailing at small children.
OH!!!!! Then somehow he ends up in an elementary school just beating the snot out of random kids.
I just inquired about adding my girlfriend onto my insurance even though we aren't married. They said it was ok and then gave me a whole bunch of paperwork about Domestic partnership and same sex relationships. Oh what an age we live in.
in the first episode, where Stoner is assigned to the DEA...Prosecuter may be a reoccurring character, ... he is miserable and Stoner fucked his wife a long time ago. So, this guy is there EVERY time Stoner fucks up...
I like the end part in the school.
The judge: The Hon. Shalom Menora
 The prosecutor: Bradley Bradford, III
Adolf Funpolise. Sounds like Hitler meets the Fun Police.
The Hon. Hitler Shalom Menora...
April 7, 2010, 7:53 p.m. CST
by MacReady452
I liked the end and Lee Marvin is always good. Boormans hippy dippy style in the film was kind of disctracting. The jazz club stuff and the colored purfume or oils swirling in the tub. The intercutting of past and present. Why are Marvin and Dean Wormer rolling around on the floor at what looks like an all mens club?
Seeing how much Payback ripped it off was interesting and like I said I liked the ending a lot. 3/5
not Hitler...
The Hon. Adolph Menora...perfect...
I'm glad it hit the 3/5 for you. That's all one can ask for out of a film. It's funny, I completely ignored the psychedelic stuff (it didn't work in my opinion) but Marvin carries the movie so well, you can see how the story takes on a completely different character from PAYBACK's interpretation. If you like the character, check out the books by Richard Stark (aka Donald Westlake). There's a bunch of 'em, and they're pretty entertaining pulp crime novels (and very fast reads).
He's angry that he's got THE Naziest first name ever.
Because his father, a member of the Jewish resistance, was a compulsive gambler. While camped out in the woods, he was playing cards with some other Jews when he ran out of rations, shoes and other collateral. So it came time to offer the one thing he had left, the name of his unborn son. He layed down a King-high straight flush and got beat by a an ace-high straight flush.
when I saw his name in the credits I got a little excited.
hahahahahhahahahahahaha. I like it.
Heya fellas, late BAMF.
 It was hilarious that we BAMFed right into an Alien4/3 post.
 But watch out, it took Scary long enough to come back last time she nicked off, we don't want to scare her away for good!
 And I saw that Aussie-baiting, too. Lucky we're all Pebrews here.
 Heh, I knew that Madmen rant would be ignored! You were all so desperate that you reverted to Alien stuff. I think One Gup has it out of his system now though. ;)
I so far behind I can't go back. Sounds like some shit went down. Anything major?
what a fucking asshole i am
Er, let me start again. Does the magical Peeber disguised as a bum (that still sounds strange, like he's related to the bum-cheeked girl in the radiator from Eraserhead) look & sound like the toothless guy haunting Bruno in 12 Monkeys? That's my vote.
Jist ketchin' up mahself.
what I said about Scary? She went away for a bit a while ago, I think someone pissed her off but I was never sure what or why. She came back eventually, and we were all happy to see her. Is that what you meant?
 She hates Alien3 with a passion though and doesn't find the crucifixion scene for example poetic but outrageously on the nose (on that note the extended doesn't have the chestburster er, bursting out from what I recall). She hates Madmen too. But hey, different strokes while maintaining respect is one of the things I like about the OB.
 So I was joking we may have scared her off again...
PB. [slams fist]
nice comeback.
Tiger Woods & Nike put out a new ad using his dead father's voice speaking to him. This prompted me to make a parody of it. Lemme know what you think- I'd appreciate it: http://tinyurl.com/ybkh6o8
Makes me wish I had sound here at work.
I don't want to publicize this until I have confirmation that it's amusing.
Sorry I can't help ya.
almost a half hour peebless?
I, myself, piled some extra left over chicken and beef into a tortilla and sprinkled some cheese and slasa...
It was good in the eyes of
...
I am weak in the eyes of

Off to the movies I go...
Enjoy that $1 worth of goodness
I watched both for comparison. Way to take it to Tiger AND Nike for creating such a God-awful ad. It's so pretentious and phony and tacky that it's offensive.
 The agent's voice was really funny (is that you?). The northeastern accent (can't quite pinpoint it) was ideal for an agent's voice and the line about the hookers was spot on. Way to twist the knife. Motherfuck Tiger every chance you get. Very funny stuff man.
That was me narrating it, playing up the NY/NJ presence. Christ, if I actually sound like that all of the time, someone needs to tell me so!
Don't use The, unless you pair it with Masters.
...but just to be safe, you should make all words lower case.
I learned that if you put quotes around words that have a space between them they remain one term, so I did that instead.
You wouldn't want to join "tiger woods earl woods parody" into one term.
...only joining "tiger woods" into one term. The rest should be separate, individual terms.
That's perfect.
...for those that are searching for news stories or vlogs about the ad.
"A ridiculously entertaining, perfectly paced, ultra-violent cinematic rush that kicks the places other movies struggle to reach."
so I can gas-bag about it! Probably going to see it tonight. I saw it a couple of months ago, but It came out for real today and the wife hasn't seen it. I hope the final score's as cool as all the temp stuff.
You came before this guy in the search, though.
 http://tinyurl.com/yktzc7w
but I'm dying to see Kick Ass, mostly for Nic Cage. In the TV trailers he does this quick little guttural laugh, almost a snort, that just cracks me up. I gotta see Nic in his pseudo Bat suit taking it to the mob goons.
Nicely done dude. Ay! I'm callin' from Joizey!!
He does a pretty good Adam West, I'll give him that...
than BOOOOOBBBBB ("FUCK YOU") JENNNNZZZZ.
I'll give you the link once it's done processing. I think this second one is funnier. Stay tuned!
April 7, 2010, 11:40 p.m. CST
by white_vader
is the top thread.
 I love most of Jeunet's stuff, and City of Lost Children is one of my all-time faves.
 Although I hate him at the moment as I'm going through the same damn D.Vader thing I went through with Minority Report and now have to completely change a set design I'm working on after seeing the MicMacs trailer. Grrr.
"as all athletes know". Props, Yack!
I added my title card and also threw in a caption at the end underneath the Nike logo. I like the second version of this one a lot more now: http://tinyurl.com/ycmu7hu
Never forget that the use of the sex organs has no effect on their ultimate size!
And I'll try to keep that in mind.
Y'all are my Cyber-Goonies!
...on what makes 'Pineapple Express' a great film, but it will have to wait until the morning.
 If I can remember it.
It sounds almost epically retarded. Actually, the idea is cool for a scifi adventure film, but one based on the board game BATTLESHIP? Soooooooooo stupid!
because of rosie perez in a cop uniform
April 8, 2010, 8:49 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...HA! Is that vintage audio? I love that makes no sense...what's the assumption that statement refutes?
 Overusing your organ makes it swell up to elephantine proportions? Makes it shrink from depletion? Stretches things out large but renders them flaccid through loss of elasticity?
April 8, 2010, 8:56 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...talking sort of voice...
 If you're into that sort of thing.
Ask her which one Orcus is. Or conversely, forward you info to Orcus
It's a pretty (purposely) horrific film which you can find on YouTube where they go down the line of STDs and show actual "members" suffering these symptoms. But the narrator is fucking awesome, so I used him.
 The second video... God, I only sound like that when I'm really drunk. I generally don't sound like Joe Pesci's cousin. At least I hope not.
...still won't give you that manly, well broken-in Corinthian leather timbre...
...this one is pretty funny. It's obviously a setup, but I like to think that Gary Busey isn't in on it...I want his reaction to be real...
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E6sG9M1IIL4&feature=player_embedded
April 8, 2010, 9:33 a.m. CST
by YackBacker
LOL! This Busey video is amusing.
That's awesome, I'm showing my girl that comment, Flick. Hehehe...
nice vids all round this AM...
...I've often wondered what makes a face of a voice seem contemporary or reminiscent of a particular time period...
 I suppose that with voices it's some combination of the types of voices and accents that were popular at different times.
 I remember hearing that early recorded music was full of tenors, because that particular type of voice recorded well on the equipment available...and that softer crooning came into style when the recording technology improved...and that soft crooning was considered sex in your ear...the devil's own music...
...morning Cheeses, sorry I haven't gotten back to you about that thing yet...I've been waiting for the right moment to investigate, and it's been an irritating week so far.
I am sure he's fucking nuts for real, but he's one of those rare, self-actualized nutjobs. He's probably a very fucking intelligent dude.
not to worry...when you get around to it...
Yeah, up early today for some reason...neck is bothering me and couldn't get comfortable sleeping in...so, I am awake and pounding coffee...
April 7th, 2010 ...Node #44466 ...'nilla slams some fist on the night shift. He likes "Mad Men," and he doesn't care if you don't. ...The New Susan Boyle is a heavy-set Asian boy. (http://tinyurl.com/ye28g59) ...Nude yoga's gotta hurt. ...Flick had fun watching ZOMBIELAND, but he doesn't think the film lived up to the promise of its first ten minutes. ...A bum peddles some wares from inside his dirty jacket. ...We BAMF! ...Node #44527 ...The bitches are told to vacate @ 10:59:28 A.M. ...Col. got chills from this week's "Lost," and Guppy concurs. ...The sound one makes when one BAMF!s depends on various conditions such as weight, current weather, and personal cultural touchstone. Sometimes it might sound like the flash sound from "Lost." Other times it might sound like The Tardis from "Dr. Who," and other times it might sound like the theme from the TV "Batman." The feeling, however, is always the same - like clearing a blockage. ...Fack® THE EXPENDABLES - give us more Kurtwood Smith, Ronnie Cox and Ed O'Neill. ...Running gags on sit-coms such as "Arrested Development" deter noobs just like the details on dramas like "Lost" or "Battlestar Galactica." ...We're all kind of elieh on AMELIE. ...We're gonna have the whole ALIEN³ / RESURRECTION discussion again? Yeah, I guess we are. ...Colon-El's Rule of 105: Whimsical and twee shouldn't exceed 105 minutes. ...Adapting the shortest of Tolkein's "Middle Earth" books into two movies seems kind of like enabling a misbehaving child. Somebody ought to put Guillermo on The Naughty Spot. ...RED RIDING, a trilogy of films based on an English serial killer, each made by a different director, covering three different years, is five hours long in its entirety. ...Col. and the Future Mrs. Col. are anxious over their families meeting. ...Always an original, Yack THWAPS when others BAMF! ...GAWD forbids a discussion of Val Kilmer as Batman, but Guppy defies GAWD. ...M. is 'Lop's choice for Best Serial Killer Movie Ever. It really is good with a capital GREAT. ...Considering trends, Flick wonders about timing and makes an off-hand remark about Dickens' readers needing another story about the seedier streets of Olde London like they'd need a fart in their figgy pudding. Like shit in their sherry, piss in their port or mud on their monocles. Like a stone in their kidney pie. Cum on their cummerbund. Belly-button lint on their bagel. Phlegm on their pudenda. Pus on their pancakes. Scolding Jewish Grandmas where their genitals used to be. ...A few B- movie moments from JAWS: THE REVENGE: "Mrs. Brody" flashes-back to film clips of Roy Scheider. Mario Van Peebles dies or does not die, depending. Michael Caine emerges from the ocean in a dry shirt. The shark roars like a lion and sits on its tail like a dolphin at Sea-World® so it can be vladded by the prow of the boat. Then, it kablooies. ...JAWS for the NES online. (http://tinyurl.com/jawsnes) ...When a dude who has spent his life in tights auditions for the lead in a ballet but ends up in the back inside an over-sized tiger head, this is bound to happen. (http://tinyurl.com/y8w29ro) ...Some unpatriotic elitists say some outrageous things about The Greatest Nation in The World™'s #1 Farm Crop. I love my country, and (dramatic pause) I fear for it. It's time for Real Americans to reload, take aim at these progressives, you betcha!, and eat some CORN!!!... Terry Crews has been working out. (http://tinyurl.com/yzaocu8) ...Lots of love for THE MAN WHO KNEW TOO LITTLE. (http://tinyurl.com/ykkb6hc) ...New series on G4 - "When Apps Attack!" (http://tinyurl.com/ydzw9wu) ...From the people who brought you Filipino Who Sings Like A Horse comes Filipino Who Duets With Shimself. (http://tinyurl.com/yldc49r) ...There's a dinosaur hiding in our backyard! Quick, grab the boom box! (http://tinyurl.com/ygqbfqo) ...Harrison Ford will be in COWBOYS & ALIENS. I'm assuming as one of the cowboys. ...The shortlist of directors for another TWILIGHT sequel and the shorter list of reasons I'd give a shit. ...Guppy's off to watch CLASH, and Teddy's off to watch POLIZIOTTO SUPERPIÙ (SUPER FUZZ) ...Photoshop advancements (http://tinyurl.com/yf8pagg) ...Mac shares some photos of "Teabonics." (http://tinyurl.com/ygyvswa) ...Drunk Santa (http://tinyurl.com/yc2wd92) ...Mac finally sees POINT BLANK. He's kind of turned off by the dated psychedelia but he like Lee Marvin and the ending a lot. ...'nilla's imagining what my bum looks like. ...Nike tries to redeem Tiger Woods with a ridiculously über-serious ad (http://tinyurl.com/ycbw5ce). Yack makes a parody, and 'moose, Star Hump and 'nilla see it before he removes it from YouTube in order to re-do and improve it. (Meanwhile, lightning and tornadoes have kicked me off-line. Facking® weather!) ...The Bible alà MTV-style 80s Pop (http://tinyurl.com/ykgx6eu) ...Empire magazine gives KICK-ASS ★★★★★, saying, "A ridiculously entertaining, perfectly paced, ultra-violent cinematic rush that kicks the places other movies struggle to reach." ...Yack's re-done parody video (http://tinyurl.com/ycmu7hu) and an alternative P.S.A. version (http://tinyurl.com/ydfnha8) Both are TERRIFIC!
 ...
"Don't they remind you of Jesus?"
"I hope you're having a Jesus Day."
And as always, a ridiculously good Subbary®
i know for a fact that during SILVER BULLET, the haimster was using and abusing..he also killed a costar on that film.
vince neil, john landis, and corey haim--fucking cold hearted.
Where's a lightning bolt now, when I need one?
Shall it be HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON, CLASH, comic book store, or zoo?
It's kind of a blustery day, right now, so the zoo would probably be a bust.
...and you might even like it an iota.
 CLASH is just going to make you angry.
that is what you see!!!
That's what my instincts are telling me, too.
...turn them loose in Pedalback...I can promise to keep it PG till you give the all clear.
 ...♫♪ It'll be fuuuuu♪uuunnn! ♫♪
"poopy heads" and "Batman could beat up Spider-mans" and "how do you spell...?s."
April 8, 2010, 10:59 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...your Uncle Subby looks like the most?"
 Damn, my pop culture kid landmarks are ten years old...they'd laugh me right out of Pedalback!...
...remind you of the most, and why?
...what would he teach, and why?
 Be as specific as possible.
April 8, 2010, 11:07 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...what would his shtick be?
of The Jonas Brothers.
Ages 7, 8, and 10.
They like Spongebob, Batman, pirates, dinosaurs, boogers, poo, dirty words they've heard from adults, and, GAWD knows why, Beyonce.
Or, Harry Potter for that matter.
...but give me a couple of years and I'll be up to date I'm sure.
...would be gangrenous, whittled out of wood, or covered with some sort of greasy bandage or patch?
because he got all of his older brother's hand-me-down prequel toys instead of new toys of his own.
because, that one time, I pulled the head off of his Frankenstein bobble-head."
I have just been informed that's what we wanna see the "mosty."
There's swearing in everything, huh?
...I think it's been made into a movie...unlike my books.
...about Charles Darwin...maybe write a little essay about what you like most about the pictures...
Next time I visit them, I'm going to check out their bookshelves for any books with your name on the cover.
Uncle Subby: "AAARRRRRRRGH! Shiver me...........!"
Hangerburgers and DRAGON.
I'll type @ yas later.
The kids version: "Shiver me boogers!"
...go to the movies.
"Shiver me rat-licked genitaliAAARRRGGGHHH!"
why aren't these kids in school..?
Imma callin' child protection services...
...so you do have a pudendum, presumably...
 ...but for some reason it usually refers to female bits.
 Probably because guys were in charge of dictionaries, and guys like to call their junk His Majesty, or His Majesty's dragon.
 HIS MAJESTY'S DRAGON AND MISS. PUDENDA.
"The prudish reputation of Victorian women has been challenged by a long-forgotten sex survey, which reveals intimate details of the bedroom habits of 19th Century wives."
http://tinyurl.com/yah4zkh
School's out @ 2:30. The consensus was between me and their mom.
You thought I let the kids vote?
Jebus! We'd never agree to do anything!
he totally fucked up the Alien franchise...jesus.
By Terry Bisson
"They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"Meat. They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"There's no doubt about it. We picked up several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, and probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in that sector and they're made out of meat."
"Maybe they're like the orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."
"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take long. Do you have any idea what's the life span of meat?"
"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."
"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads, like the weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."
"No brain?"
"Oh, there's a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat! That's what I've been trying to tell you."
"So ... what does the thinking?"
"You're not understanding, are you? You're refusing to deal with what I'm telling you. The brain does the thinking. The meat."
"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"
"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you beginning to get the picture or do I have to start all over?"
"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."
"Thank you. Finally. Yes. They are indeed made out of meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."
"Omigod. So what does this meat have in mind?"
"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the Universe, contact other sentiences, swap ideas and information. The usual."
"We're supposed to talk to meat."
"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there. Anybody home.' That sort of thing."
"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"
"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."
"I thought you just told me they used radio."
"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat, it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."
"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"
"Officially or unofficially?"
"Both."
"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in this quadrant of the Universe, without prejudice, fear or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."
"I was hoping you would say that."
"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"
"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say? 'Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"
"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they can only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."
"So we just pretend there's no one home in the Universe."
"That's it."
"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have been aboard our vessels, the ones you probed? You're sure they won't remember?"
"They'll be considered crackpots if they do. We went into their heads and smoothed out their meat so that we're just a dream to them."
"A dream to meat! How strangely appropriate, that we should be meat's dream."
"And we marked the entire sector unoccupied."
."Good. Agreed, officially and unofficially. Case closed. Any others? Anyone interesting on that side of the galaxy?"
"Yes, a rather shy but sweet hydrogen core cluster intelligence in a class nine star in G445 zone. Was in contact two galactic rotations ago, wants to be friendly again."
"They always come around."
"And why not? Imagine how unbearably, how unutterably cold the Universe would be if one were all alone ..."
The one which includes the pic he put up at the shelter.
 Nice going Flick!
...I hadn't read that before...fucking great!
 Thanks, Cheesemaster.
Get on YouTube and just do it.
I can't get the YouTubes at work.
...howdy, ST.
Ran across it this morning on another site and just had to share...Glad you liked it...
very nice CV you've got going there, Flickapoo.
 The children books you illustrated are colorful and awesome. I might just pick some up for my daughter.
 Ok, I'm done stalking Flick. Back to Pudenda.
I like that meat short as well. Very funny.
April 8, 2010, 12:54 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...up at Amazon, but I'm OK, with most of it...you can sort of tell the "real" books from the work for hire.
I thought "Pudendum Princesses of Mars" seemed like a work for hire.
...would be my proudest achievement.
Sometimes I think he's a little too much in love with his own Addison DeWitt-iness, but I agree that he nails CLASH, which I still like, regardless.
Did you see the Tiger parody ad someone made with puppets and plush toys? It's facking hilarious! http://tinyurl.com/yecg57x
...and where movies like CLASH are concerned, I take his always amusing comments with three titanic pinches of salt.
CLASH was a bad movie, but one that has its amusing parts. No critic could ever recommend it, but for a film fan there's joy to be found in the mess.
but he has fun with it.
April 8, 2010, 1:36 p.m. CST
by YackBacker
Terrible film but holy crap was it entertaining. I had a lot of fun seeing that in the theaters.
Sorry, Yack, I couldn't even enjoy it on those terms.
I remember a scene where Catherine Zeta-Jones says to Lili Taylor "Let me get you some tea..." turns around and shows her magnificent ass and someone yells out "AND 'A'!!!" Shit like that was going on the whole movie- an audience committed to mocking the film. It was a rare, spontaneous assembly of wiseasses.
Watch! Learn! Laugh!
 http://tinyurl.com/yfgof5b
My apologies.
Cheadle is money: http://tinyurl.com/yhydo6p
Not only was it a complete waste of my time, it turned people off of the 'House on Haunted Hill' remake, which is still one of my favorite modern horror movies.
 Mostly due to the cast, but there's some good writing in there, too.
Oh, we're so pretty
 Oh so pretty, we're vacant
Which is what it was supposed to be and which is why I liked it. It totally captured the William Castle thrill ride experience (which is why I thought Rush being an amusement park designer was so apt).
 THE HAUNTING remake, however, was beyond stupid. It was made by people who have no love for the ghost story genre or for the novel it was based on.
Wow. Find a retard, fuck him and then marry him so you don't feel bad about fucking him willynilly!
I figured you'd feel that way. Glad you liked it, tho. Rush was ON FIRE in that movie.
 "I'm Stephen God Damn Price!" is the reason I insert 'God Damn' into sentences that wouldn't ordinarily warrant it.
...are all the sweaty, hot-chick, female gardeners?
April 8, 2010, 2:48 p.m. CST
by ColonelFatheart
Sweaty, hot chick gardeners are expensive. The Guatemalans down at the Home Depot parking lot are cheap.
...Peter Graves' last god-damn movie?
I honestly don't know (hehe, this IS fun!)
I got here just in time. You can't motor boat money Colon_El. FACT!
No truck work today PB so I'm tied to the computer for a few hours.
When need be. Only him and Depp "got it" in Pirates of the Caribbean. And his Casanova Frankenstein (and Greg Kinnear's Captain Amazing) is the only redeeming thing in Mystery Men.
to access boobies.
What a sick, peripeteic world we live in.
April 8, 2010, 3:27 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...for just $50, whaddya say?
or a toddler wandering out onto a breakdance floor and getting kicked in the face. LITERALLY flying head over heels through the air.
My work computers won't let me gaze into the YouTubes.
He put some AIR under that kid!!!
April 8, 2010, 3:47 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...I sincerely hope that guy's life is a downward spiral from this point on...he was breakdancing so hard he kicked a baby in the face.
 A baby.
 In the face.
Breakdancing.
And I still feel bad about how hard I laughed at it.
Who was supposed to be watchin' the kid? Stevie Wonder?
Mystery Men is brimming with awesomeness. It was just ahead of its time is all. It's flawed, sure, but it's got some truly golden moments.
"Shit, blood! Yo kid fucked up my Coffee Grinder! You best check yo self."
from that creepy new Tiger Woods Nike ad? I sure did. The black and white, the harsh white light, the absent or detached God, here represented by the voice of his dead father ...
Good point. And funny, too.
...I grew up in the 80s...I was taught to believe that breakdancers hate bullies and oppression...they only breakdance for justice and the freedom to be yourself...
 They NEVER kick babies in the face.
 That guy shames himself, his family...and breakdancing.
It's not like he was AIMING for the kid.
Don't let anybody tell you different...even, and especially, Moses...
What comic book lover CAN'T dig that movie? A Chick With a Possesed Bowling Ball, Corporate Sponsored Superheroes, A Guy With Rage Issues, A Guy With a Shovel, A Guy Who is Invisible When No One is Looking, A Man Who Throws Kitchen Utinsels and A Guy With Toxic Farts...Show me an Avengers Line-up better than that!!!!
...otherwise breakdancing itself is meaningless.
Hehehe, that's my 15 internet minutes right there.
...greatness floats?
And I have a whopping 263 followers, so it was likely discovered by some other means.
on Tiger?
How can one not enjoy Ben Stiller beating the shit out of Geoffrey Rush? Or Michael Bay as a Frat Boy?
April 8, 2010, 4:25 p.m. CST
by Cheeses_of_Nazareth
To lead the movement to outlaw Breakdancing for ALL TIME, and have all former Breakdancers rounded up and exterminated...But, now, thanks to the nice Breakdancing man, that kid is a brain-damaged idiot that not even Sarah Palin could love...
You may very well owe that man your life, Flick...and an appology...
by breakdancers.
...traveled back in time to save the future of breakdancing?
"But, now, thanks to the nice Breakdancing man, that kid is a brain-damaged idiot that not even Sarah Palin could EXPLOIT..."
Like my old man used to tell me...
"If you can't get back on your feet after gettin' kicked by a dancer, just stay on the ground. I'll send your momma over to kiss your boo-boo,... IF I see her...and she isn't TOO embarrassed of ya..."
I'm sure you noticed this, but you may need to use a smaller size video to embed it.
April 8, 2010, 4:37 p.m. CST
by Cheeses_of_Nazareth
And yes, Flick...I think James Cameron sent him from the future to stop that child so he could continue his plan to make, Breakdance III, 3-D Boogaloo...in 3-D...
where's the half shirt?
...a nude, crouching male form emerges from the sizzling blue electric glare...he speaks...
 I need your Adidas. Your do-rag...and your half-shirt.
 Give them to me.
Nothing clean?
YouTube gives me. It still plays, but the integrity of the framing is compromised. Blast it!
STEP UP 3D is on the way!
just stuck to doing The Dick Around in his free balling bio hazard pants. Safety first.
...of a half-shirt.
Get kicked in the head in 3-D...
Watch the little fuck fly right over your head...
by editing the post, clicking the "edit html" tab and going in and manually inputing the height and width of the player. Plug in these #s: 273 height, 450 width. You'll be golden!
Cheeses, you also almost got me to spit out my coffee.
"Chill. Out. Dick. Wad."
April 8, 2010, 4:50 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...he can't be bargained with...he can't be reasoned with...he doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear...
 And he absolutely will not stop The Windmill, ever, until he kicks your kid in the head.
The Termibreakdancer..
...white light. Pain. It's like crushing your nuts when you do The Worm, maybe.
AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
 Too much!
I added a link in my article to your post too.
Nice! "Come with me if you want to pop/lock"
...good breakdancers.
 That's not what I meant. Was there...someone special?
 Oh, she's "special" all right. She was kicked in the fucking head when she was two.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't think I could laugh any harder and then there you are with that shit!!!!
"Oh She's 'special' all right..."
[Kicks Baby in face]
*Gasp*
I...I ...I can't BREEEEEEAAAATH!!!
Hasta La Vista,"...Punt..."Baby..."
...you mean people?
 Yes.
 I don't know. We just breakdance...you know, when it hurts.
 Pain causes it?
 No, it's when there's nothing wrong with you, but you just have to breakdance anyway...you get it?
 No.
Only, I've never seen JUNIOR. Help me out, folks.
you just have to breakdance anyway.
words to live by.
BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
...but it is something I can never do.
That's what we've got here, folks.
I like this one cause it barely makes sense and all I can think of is that "breakdancing someone" is kicking them in the face, sending them flying end over end.
April 8, 2010, 5:26 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
...you must lower me into the steel.
 Good-bye.
 Du-du...du-du...du-DUM [clang]...du-du...du-du...du-DUM [clang]...
every scene of all the Terminator movies.
"Get Down!" [cranks fist and sends wave through arms]
...he does while slowly being lowered into the molten steel gets me every time...
and he does the AirFlare 1.5...that was the shit!
he's got a real fluid motion.
...tomorrow we're going to hear that the kid was seriously injured...and I'm going to have to kill myself...
 I might as well laugh until then.
If she was hurt, we'd know by now.
Hehehehe, that tickles me.
And margs!!!
And remember: keep breakdancin' that chicken.
April 8, 2010, 5:58 p.m. CST
by MacReady452
..Aye Caramba. THEN we both said 'I'm Bart Simpson, who the hellare you? THEN, we both yelled, JINX, and I knew we were BFFs."
Fuckin idiots.
I didn't even see your margs post there. BFFs
After wasting hours and hours on it this afternoon, I finally beat it! Something I was never able to achieve as a kid! Hoorah!
That the damn shark didn't explode after I stabbed him with the boat.
 He just sank like a rock to the bottom of the ocean instead.
I never beat games on the NES when I was a kid. My brother would beat them and that was good enough for me. We would just move on. I saw the end i didn't need to be the one to push the button. As I recall that game was pretty fun.
And not beating it
April 8, 2010, 6:43 p.m. CST
by MacReady452
Or does the real Orci have a lower-case "b" in for "bob"?
still funny
I've talked with him before- I thought it was cool that he popped in once in a while, now it's kind of lame that he keeps showing up.
...and now it is at the shelterback. It's hyperlinked. There's a point, you see...
April 8, 2010, 7:17 p.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
made my fucking day! That's one of the funniest bits of sustained genius I've yet encountered. Seriously, Matt Senreich and Seth Green are punching themselves for not thinking of this shit first.
I've grown more than tired of his antics.
April 8, 2010, 7:30 p.m. CST
by Subtitles_Off
All are Swedish. Subtitled. Black-n-white.
 THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY
 Såsom i en Spegel
 1961.
My favorite of the three films - by far the most easily accessible - is the story of a small family dealing with the schizophrenia of the sole female, who has visions of God as a spider. Notable, as all of these films are, for the cinematography of Sven Nykvist, which presents provocative close-ups of the actors lit from precise, unnatural angles. The characters are free and emotional when they are presented in nature, but in settings within structures they are bound by walls of horizontal planes or sharp diagonals and restricted in their interactions. This is the only one of the three films that directly suggests love as an antidote for human despair.
 ★★★★☆

 WINTER LIGHT
 Nattvardsgästerna
 1962.
 If Bergman has been parodied with cartoonish charicatures of tightly framed talking heads speaking imponderable philosophies, this is the film which, to me, most resembles the critique. In terms of the trilogy, this is the most direct, speaking specifically to the silence of God in regard to the concerns of men. It tells and tells and tells and tells the story of a priest who is incapable of comforting his small community of parishoners, and then it tells some more. Whatever profundity there is, you'll have to apply it yourself. Maybe that's the point. I'm too bored to care.
 ★★☆☆☆ ½

 THE SILENCE
 Tystnaden
 1963.
 The most symbolically rich of the trilogy, this film tells the story of two sisters - let's call the horny one Body and the fatally ill one Mind - stuck in a hotel in an unspecified, unspecifiable, foreign country on the brink of war, accompanied by the young, inquisitive boy who navigates their dislike for one another. God, I guess, is conspicuous in His absense. Oh, there are also a wrinkled hotel butler and a troupe of performing dwarves. Big chunks of this are without dialogue, and, even though other big chunks aren't immediately understandable, the scenes are so beautiful - as in THROUGH A GLASS DARKLY, nearly every shot would make a magnificent still photograph - I'm still thinking about them and trying to decipher their meaning days after seeing the movie.
 ★★★☆☆ ½

 The Trilogy ★★★☆☆ ⅓
I dig it!
I think I peed myself.
April 8, 2010, 7:36 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON...
 I was all excited.
can't see the hidden treasures. High everybody.
What happened to the afternoon with the kids?
Sautéed Italian squash, hard-boiled eggs, and roasted sweet potatoes. I'm so lazy, I'M not even the one cooking the eggs. I couldn't be bothered. Served with a lovely Pinot Noir from Carneros, and plenty of it.
 Woot!
April 8, 2010, 7:43 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...someone says "great flick".
 It's like a constant little affirmation every time I refresh...
 " 'cause I'm good enough, and I'm great enough...doggone it, people like me."
protien, veg, starch, and alcohol
God damn, I'm glad it's Thursday.
I plan on confusing society with this fad.
cause Nic Cage and Hit Girl are the MacReadys. Its almost here.
April 8, 2010, 7:47 p.m. CST
by YackBacker
My good friend and his wife just welcomed twins into this great flickin' world yesterday. I'm taking the newbie pop out for a couple of short ones.
I've read the Subbaries... it's been slow this week, huh?
...it's a hell of a thing.
 Named one of them Flick, I hope.
Oh, man. Their lives are OVER.

 bless.
April 8, 2010, 7:51 p.m. CST
by Subtitles_Off
2010. Animated.
 After the hectically-narrated opening salvo, in which most of the spoken humor flies by too quickly, this thing takes a deep breath and settles into, perhaps, the most gently reassuring and thoughtful of recent animated movies, and I'm including everything other than the first half of WALL-E. Friendship, independence, loyalty and diversity are the themes, presented in colorful CGI, with exciting explosions and stuff, you know, for the boys. I saw this with three kids, aged 10, 8 and 7 - two boys and a girl, and I worried that it might be a bit beyond their range, but I was proven wrong, as the older boy explained it to his siblings on the ride home with a couple of gentle corrections from his sister, the 7-year-old.
 ★★★☆☆ ½
...a solid ★★★★☆ from me...
 Can't wait.
In my head, I have this picture of Batman, driving his sister's minivan, with three giggling kids... the points on your cowl are too tall, so you're kind of hunched over the wheel...
You can't "see" stars?
Even @ The Shelter Archives?
Who else is having this issue, and why is this the first I'm hearing of it?
...in fact, it might be permanent.
I make up for it with a scarier scowl.
I was told today, by an 8 year-old, that I'm "way more cooler than anybody," so I'm happy.
Adam West? Michael Keaton? Val Kilmer? George Clooney? Christian Bale?
...he made it special down in the Bat Cave, but the kids are convinced it's the same one for sale down at the Dollar Store...
 He manages to master his anger...
 But inside he's fuming.
...holy
, you should be happy.
 That's an epic fucking day, man.
 Well done.
...by letting the 8 year old steer the minivan on the highway...right?
 Right?
The "...need like I need..." riff from yesterday and the Break-dancing Terminator from a little bit ago.
But there's a bunch of ALIEN³ & 4 stuff, too.
...VENTURE BROS, but a little older.
 And maybe a ponytail instead of a mullet...to symbolize Subs' hippie ethos.
so I could've let him take a spin.
April 8, 2010, 8:15 p.m. CST
by ScaryWaitress
the one they will never have on the big screen, because he does not exist. Basically, a live-action version of the recent animated series.
 Val fucking KILMER? You say Val KILMER BATMAN to me? I don't even know who you ARE anymore, Cheeses.
 [sigh]
...the spelling right...there's a lot of Brock Samson fan porn out there.
...that if anyone wants his number on their cellphone, his ring tone MUST be the BENNY HILL theme song.
 True story.
[slams fist]
That shit is great! Scary, not a Black Eyed Peas fan- if that fat kid was dancing to anything else, I might consider it.
April 8, 2010, 8:27 p.m. CST
by YackBacker
"Unskinny Bop" or "Baby's Got Back."
that's Russian Face-Eating Guy's second Pedalback appearance.
...shit. Now I feel bad.
 I do that a lot.
April 8, 2010, 8:31 p.m. CST
by YackBacker
I can't prove it, but I sense there's been a wrong committed against that face-eating Rusian.
as always.
 [shaking head]
Your butt is wide
 Well mine is too
 Just watch your mouth
 or I'll sit on you ♪♫
Fat-bottomed girls
You make the rockin' world
Go 'round ♪♫
Wanna tell you a story 'Bout a woman I know When it comes to lovin'
 Oh, she steals the show
 She ain't exactly pretty
 Ain't exactly small
 Forty-two, thirty-nine, fifty-six
You could say she's got it all
You're a whole lotta woman
A whole lotta woman
A whole lotta Rosie ♪♫
"I like 'em fat"
 "I like 'em proud"
 "Ya gotta have a mother for me"
 Now move your big ass 'round this way
 So I can work on that zipper, baby
 Tonight you're a star
And I'm the big dipper ♪♫
The bigger the cushion
The sweeter the pushin'
 That's what I said.
 The looser the waistband
 The deeper the quicksand
 Or so I have read.
 My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo.
 I love to sink her with my pink torpedo.
 Big bottom,
 Big bottom,
 Talk about bum cakes,
 My girl's got 'em.
 Big bottom,
 Drive me out of my mind.
 How can I leave this behind? ♪♫
With the most luscious ass in the world.
 Her butt was so wide
 It affected the tides.
 And it glowed with the sheen of a pearl.
Who sez we ain't cultured?
Jay-Z sez, "Yeah."
...on the side...
 It makes me happy.
this is the only image I've been able to find of one of the posters that came with the album, originally.
http://tinyurl.com/ydgmeab
...I didn't realize I had a thing for naked girls on bikes...but I think I do.
Who was jonesin' for some o' dat snatch.
 He was poppin the bub'
 'Fo he hit the hot tub
 With his fat-bottomed ho'. A LOVE MATCH!
...not even close to my requirements.
Somehow, I must've missed it.
Yeah, uh, yeah, uh, yeah, what?
I'm off to watch a supermodel and two gay men flagellate some reality show contestants while they sew strange clothes for abnormally skinny women to strut in.
 Cheers!
I take it that means "Project Runway" is on. Or is it "The Next Top Model"?
...just a closeup...
 http://kfoxrocks.files.wordpre ss.com/2009/07/bicycles.jpg
 I posted it yesterday just before the BAMF!
Whole lotta Rosie and Big Bottom...gold.
Stupid fucking co-workers fucking up my PB time. They have no idea where my allegiances
...#2.
 Ever type at him?...he's a sharp fucking guy.
...RedHorse is funny, but Red Ned is really smart.
 I got my reds mixed up.
Then you don't like the character of subs
And if she woke up with a strange dude sitting next to her, "holding the popcorn."
That's how accidents happen.
...holding the popcorn...
 ...then you don't like the character of Subs...
"Serviceable actors". I mentioned Dick Miller and I think he wet himself. He is a good dude. Sharp.
I can't believe I didn't think of this before!
Instead of trying to Subbarize® in the morning in one swoop, I do it in bits throughout the current day. Duh!
April 8, 2010, 9:32 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...the cool, surgeon's eye after well deserved slumber.
Let me know if you notice a difference.
...turkey sandwiches.
"way cooler than anybody" status for an Easy Button™.
(I'm keeping my left nut.)
...on one...
 I might give the left one for an Easy Button™.
...maybe he's a little bigger.
I've got some doings to do before bedtime.
That Terminator stuff was gold, BTW. You should riff on that some more.
I imagine armies of Ahnold Terminators facing armies of McBlandy Terminators, and - in a break from the CGI explosions - "serving" each other.
Flick's asymmetrical nut-sac!
April 8, 2010, 9:43 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
T-101's square off in a dance battle against Humans to decide the fate of the Human race.
No fate but what we Break.
So nice I used it twice.
April 8, 2010, 9:54 p.m. CST
by MacReady452
The only people capable of mimicking a robot effectively are........breakdancers.
Da da dum da dum.
...robot-dance/Terminator joke all day...
 I tip my do-rag to you, Sir.
I thought you had put the movie's on and were skimming the key scenes to reference. Masterful sir.
Triple Dippa!
did you use Content Aware Fill? That's how good it looks.
...Du-du...du-du...du-DUM [clang]...
...I've been there...
 [robe hits the floor]
 SHIT! gotta go, guys...[click].
HALT. IDENTIFY......IDENTIFY.
Processing.....
Threat Status???????
CAN NOT READ. LOOK HUMAN BUT...FIGURE LEANED FORWARD AT WAIST, SHOULDER LOCKED, ELBOW JOINT FAIL, ARM HANGS LOOSE.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.
DOES NOT COMPUTE.

...of The Terminator gettin' down?
 http://tinyurl.com/yh5mzpv
...GODDAMIT! Is there nothing I can think of that 'moose doesn't already have a clip locked and loaded for?!
 Is there nothing new under the sun?
we need an elite team. They would wear Kangols like Green Berets.
...that's just a robot dancing Terminator.
 But WE are talking about specially trained, robot-breakdancing humans with fifteen pounds of rebar up their asses (to simulate a metal skeleton and fool the scanners) infiltrating Skynet to save all mankind...
 It's fucking epic.
I personally think that is his most complete film.
April 8, 2010, 11:21 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
...of the resisting breakdancers. Rebars up the ass? You got it. Shelterback.
April 9, 2010, 1:04 a.m. CST
by YackBacker
Nike has gone on a warpath and ordered any parody of their Tiger Woods ad to be taken down. This is silly work, unlawful and it will be addressed in due time. In the meantime, Deadspin.com is hosting my vid on their own. Solid.
April 9, 2010, 2:01 a.m. CST
by YackBacker
But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning."
You other brothas can't deny.
 When a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in yo face, you get
 SPRUNG!
Haven't seen it all the way through since I was a youngun. Goddamn, I can't get over how amazing the dragon effects were in this movie! Way ahead of its time, it was. The dragon moved and had character when it did it. The story wasn't so bad, either.
Wish me luck. I don't have high hopes for this one, but I'm a sucker for alien abduction stories. That's why I used to love watching Unsolved Mysteries as a kid. And the book Communion is one of the scariest stories I've ever read. Too bad that Whitley Streiber has turned into such a hack.
that combines Terminator with breakdancing. But I think Flick and Mac have got the market cornered. That kind of awesome imagination is why I love the pedalback. Keep it up, fellas.
Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix! I can't stop listening to that fucking album and it's starting to drive me mad. Damn you and your fine taste in music, woman! Your "shitty dinner" sounds amazing to me. I'm having to settle for my rotten excuse for gourmet: Broiled Pork Chops with rosemary, Mushroom and Red Onion Risotto, and Green Beans with Bacon. To drink it's a 12 pack of Red Stripe.
I good at quitting things in my life. I've got a good track record of quitting something just as it starts to get interesting. But, removing a vice from my life is like removing a nail from an rotting coffin and I worry about that box being opened.
 Maybe I'm waxing overly dramatic, but it feels harder to breathe. My living room seems smaller, almost too small for human living. I wish I had a canvas cover for my bathtub like the rehab scenes in "Valley of the Dolls." That would be comforting.
Jim Beam and Yuengling. Are you ready for Rush's TIME MACHINE TOUR? Moving Pictures in its entirety, plus 6 new songs and a bunch of Rush nuggets. A 3 hour show, as per usual.<p. The focus is sharp in the city, mothehumpers. Get ready for a live Camera Eye.
It sounds like you're going cold turkey. It's crazy to go cold turkey.
But it sounds awesome! It's nice to see this weird resurgence in vocal love for Rush, but I'll go with it. I've always appreciated Rush would love to see them in an arena, where they belong.
I missed an entire Lotharius session. I could have been here, but I was off getting pissed in Rush land. This place is a good landing zone for good rock and good company. Sorry I missed you man.
I tried the patch and that was a disaster. However, cold turkey has presented me with a plethora of wonderful, lightheaded appreciations of sober thinking. The world is a far more depressing place than I remember it being.
Oh ho ho ho, man, Rush is among the best live bands around. They're even better now, a bunch of older, tough motherfuckers who rock out 3 hour shows as a matter of pride. But it's not a grim affair. They pack in plenty of humor. They even had South Park open for their signature song Tom Sawyer the last 2 times around. The boys from South Park were a band called... "Li'l Rush." It was beautiful.
I'm totally jealous of your excersion into Rush-land tonight. The last concert I went to was Kings of Leon with White Lies doing the opening act. Before that it was Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals, which was an amazing show. I'm kind of hooked on Phoenix now, but I thank you for the Porcupine Tree recommendation. They have destroyed my Pandora variety.
I've been a fan. Best drummer alive. He can even bring people back to life for fuck's sake.
I'm glad you dig PT. That band will fuck up a Pandora set list I imagine. They're catalogue is vast. So many great songs. Heard Lightbulb Sun yet?
I am indeed, pissed as a fart
I belive that connects gloriously to a series of jokes posted here earlier. I think my best was: ...phlegm on my pudenda!
I'll probably just hug myself or something. It's a great sound. Heard a lot of songs, but I don't think I've heard Lightbulb Sun yet. The selection Pandora has given me has mostly consisted of a slow duet between the lead and a chick that I have yet to identify. Best thing about the French band Phoenix is that they grow on you. Give 1901 a try.
due to the farting, and the pissing. Not really.
 I wont do the mini url thing here, but watch this You Tube video I'm about to link. It stars Crispin Glover and John C. Reilly in a new series called DRUNK HISTORY. This episode is TESLA: ELECTRIC JESUS. Trust me on this one. Beautiful, often graphic, comedy. OK, then.
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSpi8GwDZfY
is a long, serpentine jam that features sublime muscianship from all 4 players. All 4 are virtuosos. Porcupine Tree are utterly brilliant, and best of all, they do that madness live too. Good night!
I've watched that Drunk History and it's pretty enthralling. I'm as much for putting those things on DVD as I am thos awesome Plinkett reviews of the Star Wars prequels. I'm still deathly envious of your Rush experience.
...in our breakdancing dojo!
April 8th, 2010 ...Teddy would like to post his thesis on PINEAPPLE EXPRESS, but he's gonna make us wait like the proverbial thirsty denizens of hell. ...BATTLESHIP: THE MOVIE. Epic retardation. Sounds about right. ...Flick likes the way Yack coos. (http://tinyurl.com/ykzyjws), (http://tinyurl.com/dyd3hn) ...Orcus is on facebook. That seems beneath Orcus. ...Gary Busey's thoughts on Jesus (http://tinyurl.com/y9lm4sh) ...Sixies blames Haim. ..."Uncle" Subby says, "AAARRRGGGHHH!" ...Victorian women liked to loosen the bodice. (http://tinyurl.com/yah4zkh) ...They're made out of meat. Meat? Yeah, meat. (http://tinyurl.com/ydmoubz) ...The New Yorker's Anthony Lane reviews CLASH OF THE TITANS. (http://tinyurl.com/ykkl2x7) ...Another Tiger Woods Nike parody, with plush toys and puppets (http://tinyurl.com/yecg57x) ...Enjoying a bad movie in a theater full of wise-asses: Catherine Zeta-Jones says, "Let me get you some tea," and somebody in the audience yells, "And some A!" ...Drunk History: Nikola Tesla, in which a jealous Edison is a fucking asshole, chewed pineapple transforms when vomited, and pigeons get angelic super-powers. ...Drunken History: Frederick Douglass, in which Lincoln wants Don Cheadle to get to the point and Jen Kirkman has removed her pants. ...Never mind the bollocks. Malcolm McLaren Baloos for good. ..."2.5 Minute TIM:" So what if Mel Gibson is retahded? He's so handsome, innint he? (http://tinyurl.com/ylxupy9) ...Geoffrey God-damn Rush is "Stephen God-damn Price" in the appropriately cheesy and stupid THE God-damn HOUSE ON HAUNTED God-damn HILL. ...Men truly love money, but a true man loves boobies more. (STL'll understand that reference if he thinks really, really hard about it.) ...Ouch! A breakdancer kicks a God-damn toddler in the face, which must break some sort of God-damn breakdance code of ethics. (http://tinyurl.com/yc6qo7b) ...Colon-El gets a creepy Ingmar Bergman vibe from that God-damn Tiger Woods Nike ad. Which reminds me...☆☆RIGHT-BRAIN CINEMA☆☆™: Ingmar Bergman's "Silence of God" trilogy is two-thirds imponderable God-damn Bergman - ★★★☆☆ ⅓ (3.33 out of 5) ...Deadspin.com picks up one of Yack's great Nike parodies. (http://tinyurl.com/ydfnha8) ...That baby-kicking breakdancer'd make a decent God-damn Terminator in James Cameron's ELECTRIC BOOGALOO 3-D. The inspired madness begins here, in case you missed it. (http://tinyurl.com/ye7oxfq) ...Republican center-folds, Sarah Palin and Michelle Bachman, wanna get God-damned drilled. (http://tinyurl.com/yzmhtp7) ...☆☆RIGHT-BRAIN CINEMA☆☆™: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON is a great family film - ★★★☆☆ ½ (3.5 out of 5) ...The proposed Pebrew National Anthem (http://tinyurl.com/5zd3da) ...My eyes!!! (http://tinyurl.com/ya9gvkw) ...An encore of a Russian guy eating his God-damn face (http://tinyurl.com/y9koens) ...baby got back...and pedals: Weird Al's "Fat," AC/DC's "Whole Lotta Rosie," Prince's "Gett Off," Spinal Tap's "Big Bottom," and original raps by EssDub, plus Queen's "Fat-Bottomed Girls" (http://tinyurl.com/yebkob6) ...What would you trade for an Easy Button™? ..."It's about time." Health Care Reform by the numbers, according to myBarackObama.com (http://tinyurl.com/yzxmd3u) ...Waitaminute! The Pebrews didn't think of Electric Boogie Terminator first? (http://tinyurl.com/yh5mzpv) ...Rebar up the God-damn ass - A Shelter Exclusive™
 ...
Getting a quick one in before the commute to work.
 Great Subbary as always!
Unsolved Mysteries episode. It is filmed with quite a bit of recreation vs. reality pathos that mix in interesting ways. It has a fascinating use of split screens and quadruple-split screens. But, it's no better than the "Fire in the Sky" and "Communion" movies that have come before it. In other words, it's a must for alien abduction movie fans, but a total bust for fans of movies of any other kind.
A great Subbary. You are a master, sir. Though I do think that inspired madness of the Terminator 2 the Streets posts deserve a little more notice. Glad you liked "How to Train Your Dragon" though. It was a near perfect family film in my opinion once you get past the first ten minutes, which seemed to struggle to find good pop culture humore before settling into storytelling mode.
April 9, 2010, 6:55 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...ha! Nicely turned.
I don't feel I can do justice to a post by Subbarizing it, so I link you directly to it. Therefore, you can get all of it in context. That was the intent with Tinyurl-ing the beginning of the Breakdancing Terminators riff.
Another benefit of working on it throughout the day rather than all at once.
Plus, my errands are going to take me away for most of the morning.
Do they all seem to ring of tales of child molestation? Is it just me that thinks that?
in the Shelter. He's a good sort.
...an alien in priest's clothing already...
 Damn my ignorance.
was the narration. Due to the pacing of the first scene, it had to be so rapid-fire that you couldn't register any of it. They probably should have been more laconic at the very beginning, and, maybe, once the action kicked in, the narration could've been breathless and interrupted and panicky - less detailed - as if "Hiccup" couldn't keep his thoughts straight with all the chaos around him.
As it is, it just plays like a slap in the face. it wakes you up, but you're wondering what you did to deserve it because you've missed something.
If i were ever here at the same time Hump were, I'd send him an invitation.
BTW, "Hump" doesn't work as a nickname. It sounds insulting. How about "Rock Star"?
Pretending he's the Jamie Gertz character from "The Lost Boys."
characterization of the heavy-set kid as sort of a "Dungeons & Dragons" geek - a joke that didn't really work, although it has a nice little pay-off during the climax - were the quibbles I had that kept the film from a solid four-star experience. (Plus, all the in-your-face 3D shit, which works on the kids while annoying me pissless.)
...last night. I hadn't thought of that movie in years, but just the other day I posted that the original CLASH OF THE TITANS was no DRAGONSLAYER (they came out the same year)...
 Surprisingly good flick, and it's been a long time since I've seen it, but I remember that dragon as being the best I've seen on film.
April 9, 2010, 7:19 a.m. CST
by lotharius3rd1118
in the first act. But then it found it's own footing, which kinda works with the individuality angle of the second act. All in all, I lovee the design of that movie and think it's best when it just remains trues to its own silly nature and is not beholden to the hits that have come before it.
the dragon in "Dragonslayer" holds up. That 'great flick' was well ahead of its time in animatronic effects. IMO it matches up just as well with its real backgrounds as the dinosaurs did in "Jurassic Park." I love that the dragon moves so close to the ground and that it still possesses a real feeling as opposed to the CGI monsters of todays cinema.
Maybe I missed most of the pop culture references. What I could catch from the beginning seemed to be story-specific and clever, as opposed to stupid, juvenile and anachronistic like in SHREK and other DREAMWORKS' things. In fact, the adult in me was fully braced for the montage set to a five-year-old pop song, when I went in, but my inner child was surprised and grateful when I was leaving.
Car repair. If I don't get in early, it'll be an all-day thing.
Enjoy the morning.
...the DRAGONSLAYER dragon, and considers it the benchmark to beat for Smaug.
April 9, 2010, 7:30 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...fucking both.
...but yours is an outrage too.
 I smell a rat.
but I thought the movie started off on an episodic, joke-filled footing. However, as the movie began to develop, it found its own way. And that kid from from "Undeclared" has a good voice for animated characters.
If that fucker looks anything like the "Dragonslayer" beast, then I'm gonna be a happy camper around Christmas of next year.
Don't let those bastards at Wal-Mart cheat you? Most car maintenance can be accomplished by the owner and there are even philosophies based on it.
my daughter was up early. She was wanting to watch MONSTERS, INC first thing this morning before they head to the library for some craft thing.
 As I was getting my lunch ready, I overhead my wife say "Do you want the fullscreen or the one with the bars on the top and bottom?" I yelled into the other room "You want the bars to preserve the integrity of the film!" There was silence, followed by my daughter's voice "Full screen." I wept.
 My wife came into the kitchen, laughing. She said when my daughter heard me say that, she gave a weird look and said "Huh?"
 Children...
I had the same problem when I saw "The Last of the Mohicans" in widescreen. Personally it seems pointless when you have a widescreen TV that doesn't use the space alotted.
April 9, 2010, 8:07 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...yet to learn.
 The clock is ticking though...seven is the age of reason, when a child can be held fully accountable for their actions.
April 9, 2010, 8:10 a.m. CST
by ScaryWaitress
if only he knew how to use Photoshop... if he ever learns, he'll be unstoppable. We'd either all be working for him in 5 years time, or be dead by his hand.
...see? I knew it.
Now if only you could animate the little Alien ass humping up and down...
If she still hasn't acquired the knowledge of why widescreen is better than full...then off to boarding school. I'm sure my wife will have some gripes, but I'm the man and what I say goes. Right? Right? *crickets*
That queen bike race picture from last night...is that NSFW? I'm tempted to look at it, but it's ssems to itch NSFWiness.
from last night. That sh*t is one for the PB bible. To preserve and protect for all eternity.
I'll be back... today is my "work at home" day.
...just a little tame T&A, but could still get you in trouble.
 This one is a real album cover, so it must be lawful...right?...
 http://www.fuccit.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/queen-bicycle-race-fat-bottomed-girls.jpg
April 9, 2010, 8:32 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
April 9, 2010, 8:43 a.m. CST
by Subtitles_Off
My old-man knees don't like it, though.
The album cover is a bland graphic. (http://tinyurl.com/ydwelrb)
The poster image (http://tinyurl.com/yebkob6) of heavy naked women on bicycles was a poster that was folded up and inserted into the album jacket to be kept from your parents' prying eyes. It's relatively harmless by today's standards, STL, unless you have some kind of uptight co-worker who's a prude. There's no sexual connotations implicit, really, in the image.
What else would it be?
...original copy for us?
 I'm particularly interested in two girls on the right.
We need to do something with The Predators.
Flick, that's your assignment for the day.
I'll wait until I get home I guess. I have to set an example here at work, seeing as I'm in the IT department and have FULL COMPUTER GOD-LIKE POWER! MUAHAHAHA
Fix-A-Flat to get your car to the tire store?
Fuck you sticks!
That's the last time I buy a Goodyear® tire!
I tossed it. My fourteen-year-oldish self was uptight about that kind of thing.
I didn't keep any of the old Prince inserts, either, and I'd already busted the seal on my inner pervert by then.
...about that kind of thing"...
 I don't understand what these words mean.
 I can read and understand each word, but when I string them all together...nothing. Blank.
Flick: "When are you gonna scan your original copy for us?"
too many minutes later
 Me: "I tossed it (the Queen poster) because (I must have been around fourteen at the time, maybe?, I dunno, seems like) and I was uptight about (any kind of hint of sexual content because I was a late bloomer, and I really wanted to avoid "The" talk with my parents ever since my mom had given my brothers and I a sex-ed pop-up when my older brother was doing the puberty thing a couple years earlier)."
Now does it make any sense?
Prolly not.
A Facebook / Tron thing.
 I thought it was sadder than funny. As in, more poignant than satirical.
...it's just that at fourteen I would have gladly killed you for that poster...I had blown through the lady's underwear section of the SEARS catalog...the J.C. PENNEY catalog...and was on to the the much racier MACY'S catalog...
 And I was really into bikes, too...
Hung over, but I really didn't do too much damage (I think...). My sinuses are devastating me at the moment. I'll be around periodically today. The perky tit that is my sense of humor is feeling gravity's pull today. Hopefully, I'll rally soon.
Speaking of catalogs, I distinctly remember a national scandal from my youth when a printing error made it appear as if the tip of a male model's youknow was peeking from the leg hem of his boxers in the pages of the SEARS 'log.
Sometimes I just like to talk about anything.
And cuddle.
And that made for a pretty funny euphemism.
I've seen viral parodies on the Woods Nike thing today using audio from "The Lion King," "David After Dentist," and Tiger's own voicemail to one of his mistresses. There's even a lame Jimmy Kimmel version. None of them as good as either of yours.
How come all of these are floating around and not yours, dammit!
...I've never actually seen the show, but I'm picturing a pasty, middle-aged Predator blinking in bright camera lights and lamely trying to explain why it's perfectly natural to want to rip out underage spinal-column...
I really really appreciate that... actually, my vid was Huffington Post too, along with several others. It got about 16,000 views yesterday, it was really going viral but then YouTube slapped a copyright infringement on it, which I'm in the process of fighting, etc. I've done it before, it's really lame. But I really appreciate your praise.
 Bless you.
to prove I wasn't crazy.
The 1975 ad here: http://tinyurl.com/yd6csrw (dude on the left, his right thigh)
 and an enlargement of the questionable area: http://tinyurl.com/yerr549
"Tosh.0," "Web Soup," or even that Chelsea Handler broad with yours before they get tired of the lamer ones.
...that's a hell of a thing.
 That's almost 32,000 eyeballs...if you adjust for pirates.
maybe a bit too obvious. You're nearly there. We need to think of a hobby or an unexpected link for the Predator. Like, as The Terminator is to breakdancing, and The Alien is to The Catholic Church, The Predator is to, I dunno, nude yoga or stamp-collecting.
Multiply 16,000 by two but subtract the number of patch-wearers among the pirates. Hehehehehehe.
So maybe the collect butterflies.
Or they're big game hunters.
Or, they film documentaries, but they can't stay indifferent, so they get in there and trash on the crocodiles while the zebras are crossing the river, or something.
they're always hassled at Airport Security.
make them ghost hunters!
"Dude, do you see that?"
 "What bro?"
"It looked like three little red lights, and they kind of hovered around in a triangular pattern."
"Wow, that's creepy! Check the thermal!"
is a cop...always pushing the limits of the law.
A bumbling, plundering Predator who never quite made it among the cool Predators, but all his life he just wanted to fit in, etc.
...he's obsessed with this Puffy Scrapple® chick...and her dick boyfriend keeps setting up talcum powder booby traps and shit, fucking up his cloaking device...
Do I have you interested in my high concept yet?
He removes his warrior helmet, and he turns out to be that Filipino kid singing "I Will Always Love You."
...I think we're working on different angles of the same concept here...
Kind of a Greenwich Village, Jewish neurotic type who experiments with Buddhism and orgies?
He takes off his warrior helmet, and it turns out he's Pacino reciting a fuck-laden monologue from GLENGARY.
Brass balls!
trying to reclaim his image after a sex scandal. he takes off his warrior helmet, and he's Kobe or Ben Roethlisberger.
...I would absolutely hang out in that PARANORMAL ACTIVITY chick's bedroom...
 And you know that when he invisibly slips into bed beside her he's "getting to the chopper".
nasty Flick...nasty!
 I love it.
Like the Bill Maher of Predators.
Chick: Did you get to the chopper yet?
 Predator: I've been to the chopper for the past 5 minutes.
 Chick: Oh. I think we should see other extraterrestrials. It's not you, it's me.
 Predator: Seriously?!
and this whole "Dutch is a terrorist" issue is being debated and our guy says "Dutch wasn't a coward," and this sets off all of the other Predators, etc.
April 9, 2010, 10:32 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...of rage after getting a rash on his little predator from "getting to the chopper" too vigorously with talcum powder all over his hands...
...Predators who love their planet...and fear for it?
 Nightmare.
Predator versus all of sci-fi's greatest card players. In between hands, hijinks ensue
...bumper stickers with pictures of Dutch on the bumper of their pickem-up spaceships.
April 9, 2010, 10:45 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...huntin', lovin', and freedom...but our Predator knows it's really all about fuel for their antimatter guzzling spacem-ups.
April 9, 2010, 10:50 a.m. CST
by YackBacker
I like this idea. The Predator Act limits the rights of Predators to private cloaking. The Predator government is getting to your choppers...
April 9, 2010, 10:57 a.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...date back to their noble ancestors, but it's bullshit.
 Their ancestors wiped out all the aboriginal Predators with Predator-Pox tainted blankets.
These kids from Oregon do such a cute little thing on the Subway, and these fucking malcontents on the train can barely smile at them. I'd rather play a room full of Predators... http://tinyurl.com/y9q6q2h
http://www.mactonnies.com/aliensaint.jpg
 Mind the finger!
is another man's "get DEƒUCK® outta here - this ain't no episode of 'Glee,' ya spackleheads."
April 9, 2010, 11:19 a.m. CST
by YackBacker
NYers are notoriously impatient- we like a smorgasbord of music. Sticking with Astley that long is a but Seth MacFarlane, I'll grant you that... but still, smile at them just a little
"What the hell? I'm hearing voices inside my head."
[That is merely I. I am communicating to you telepathically.]
"You don't look like E.T., and this ain't Sunday. What's with the priest outfit?"
[I assumed this uniform would be comforting to you, as we have observed your people treating those costumed thusly with great pomp and reverence.]
"My mommy says we're Jewish."
[Oh. Would you like to see what's inside my box?]
That line tickles me.
Car's finished.
Mad World http://tinyurl.com/2j6o2x
Thank
 for Deadspin, though. I adjusted my blog. People are really digging your work, man.
...or you need to get your fucking MONEYback.
Yeah, it'll all shake out fine in the end, but the meme is already dying and I'm missing the viral glory that I'm owed! Ha, off to the next fad, right? I did make some good contacts out of this though...
That's what she said.
How are things in the Bottled City of Kandor?
in the SW sitcom talkback? Sheesh.
That's what the Professor from GILLIGAN'S ISLAND said as he held up corrective lenses made out of coconuts.
new tires that can drive over police spikes and not get punctured?
That, and "self-repairing" paint that will eliminate surface dings and scratches.
And spikier!
Hehe.
Like three-days-late hehe.
April 9, 2010, 12:30 p.m. CST
by Subtitles_Off
It's apartment living and all the sharp nails and screws that seem to constantly, mysteriously appear in the parking lot like scorpions from Greek monsters' dripping blood.
That and fucking Midwest potholes the size of Labradors. Labradors with pointy spikes instead of fur.
If you ever have the opportunity to throw it in, don't hesitate.
I live in North Jersey. I believe the pothole was invented here.
I once saw an entire transmission and a couple of kids stranded in a pothole on River Road in Lyndhurst.
I'd worry I was driving over Ed Asner's back.
♪♫
 Oh no.
 Would I lie to you, honey?
 No no no
 Why would I say something that wasn't true?
 Can you answer me, baby?
 Would I lie to you?
♪♫
I sure as hell would have laughed my ass off. Although, I'm of the rare breed that will actually excuse myself before sitting down next to some stone-faced commuter. The look of confusion at this rare act of civility serves as a continuing source of amusement. Although I may hesitate to do so on, say, the 2 after business hours.
April 9, 2010, 12:49 p.m. CST
by YackBacker
Miracle bean juice.
Potholes.
 Holes, generally, basically, unless nicely trimmed.
 Loaves of bread.
 Ed Asner's back.
Between a douchebag's chin and his bottom lip.
http://tinyurl.com/ybau7m6
 UGH!
 UGH!
 UGH!
But it comes from U.K.'s The Sun, so take it with a boulder of salt.
Still, it's distressing to think about. I'm perfectly fine with Michael Pitt's turn as the Cobain-esque rocker in LAST DAYS. I don't know how you guys feel about that movie, but I liked it quite a bit. Not one with a lot of re-watch value, but Van Sant really captured the essence of Cobain. The last thing Cobain's legacy needs is a RAY-esque, glossy Hollywood biopic.
Now look at my face-ace-ace.
 Do you notice my eyes?
 Are they in the right place-ace-ace?
I'm not going to see another rocker bio-pic unless it's Marvin Gaye's. And, if that one isn't dirty, sexy, disturbing, frightening and challenging - in other words, if it shines with a feel-good patina like RAY or WALK THE LINE - I'mma not gonna see it either.
...hell, I haven't recovered from A MIGHTY WIND yet. There are still entire decades and categories of music I can't listen to after that one...
"I've got a pretty bad case of being cut in half, Dewey..."
repetition of "self-destruction" scenes.
WALK HARD was a little too on-the-nose when it came to parodying the traditional biopics' length, though. It ran on a little too long. Well, at least the extended edition did. Then again, what else would I expect from an extended edition?
That's what she said.
I've been a big fan of Jake Kasdan since 'Zero Effect', and have since hoped the best for him.
So I tend to cheerlead for his movies. Like a Predator with Pom-Poms, that is.
I really can't complain when a really funny movie just keeps going, but I get where you're coming from.
When school spirit fails, they whip out the alien weaponry and go inviso-brutal on The Away Team.
The Inspirational Sports Movie.
As much as I love BREAKING AWAY, all the ROCKY-THE WRESTLER-BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM shit needs to be buried once and for all.
Y'know, if you actually saw AvP and know what I'm talking about.
I know the intention is to replicate this asinine formula, but it ends up only working as an idea and not a cinematic experience.
I saw Yack over there, go give Harry shit cause he can't be bothered to find out how to spell a directors name that he is SO EXCITED about in the Adam McCay(?)back. what a dummy.
That Will Go Uninvestigated, Dept
 http://tinyurl.com/ya9olly
Let's privatize Education! There's probably a buck to be made!
 http://tinyurl.com/y87u4ne
April 9, 2010, 1:59 p.m. CST
by FlickaPoo
...cliché too.
 You know, the whole...precocious kid who likes to draw...cobbles college money together working at restaurants on the beach and unlikely picturesque hay farms...idealistically turns down lucrative computer animation opportunities...lands an agent right out of school...marries the hot-chick...continues to work odd construction and labor jobs while career takes off...lands big spread in the Washington Post (success!)...fucking Post takes six months to pay up...success drunk illustrator goes on wild spree of car repair, debt reduction, and splurges on a bottle of Gordon's® Gin and real Ocean Spray® cranberry juice...wakes up with a hangover and realizes his math is off and he spent next month's rent money...cut to the overused scene of him working off rent for his landlord at $8 an hour on his 30th birthday...digging a hole to bury his landlord's wife's dead cat...in "soil" that's 100% bedrock...in the rain...fade to black on HAPPY BIRTHDAY in played in minor key...
Look at New Orleans after Katrina. Private dollars flooded the educational system. The Shock Doctrine in action.
Now you have Gov. Christie in NJ slashing and hacking away at education dollars and going after the teachers instead of taking on the administrative structure, which is the source of much of the waste. One of my uncles is a teacher in a small district (population 10,000, one square mile), and he told me about 40 teachers/staffers were laid off.
He's also pushing privatization for state services instead of consolidation. Man oh man.
If I had a dime for every time I heard that story...
asked to be removed after his three-year probation for molestation ended.
Yeah, that's gonna happen.
 As soon as my Green Lantern ring arrives in the mail, I'll make it my first priority.
April 9, 2010, 2:20 p.m. CST
by anonymoose
Great minds think alike: http://tinyurl.com/yapn2tt
I don't know if it's on the internet, but I saw an awesome trailer recently for something called "Gone With The Pope". You should seek it out without delay.
Kurds back in the 1980s, why can't we roll up and "liberate" Vatican City from its own heinous dictator and a centuries-old conspiracy to rape children?
I get everyone a group rate for a Casino/Canadian strippers bachelor party and NO ONE calls to make a reservation. So I had to suck off Sitting Bull over the phone to extend the booking deadline so my dipshit friends can save $30 on a room. Group organizing an event is bullshit.
This is why I respect what 'moose and Subs do at the shelter. Doing stuff for other people is overrated and under appreciated.
in my cheek with that Saddam statement.
I'd rather my tongue be firmly planted in pudenda, but still ...
If for no other reason than it would be fun to watch those old-school Swiss Guardsmen fight it out with our high-tech modern infantry.
 But we got too many Catholics for it to be viable.
But I always have a few seconds notice whenever someone is about to come into view of my monitor. Another perk, tho accidental, of my job.
There was also a great montage with the music from Full House.
it ruins everything. It was awesome last night? there must have been no singing.
It's frighteningly obvious, really.
No offense meant, though, Patton, if you're out there. I actually do like your work!
the Sarah Silverman thing.
Many people whose opinions I respect are big fans of hers. I just can't do it.
It's got a comical point to it, rather than it just being about her singing voice.
EMPIRE STRIKES BACK on the cover of EW!!! how 80s!
to commemorate the the new making of book...
damn
that is exactly what the rebels would look like
http://tinyurl.com/y49gk23
 More than most, this segment really exposes Fox News for its outright bias and lying.
Colbert stole it!
Brian Posehn is great though. Anything that gives him more work is cool with me.
http://tinyurl.com/yks6dru
 Groovy licks sound like Jean Luc Ponty.
Why was Leia so much hotter in Jedi than all the rest?
 Gotta be the coke, right?
It just means that you're on par with Colbert. That's a good thing. Maybe you could be a Report writer...
Does that not look awesome? Seriously, I am full of awe for this Duke Mitchell guy.
Truly, my kind of filmmaker. At least, the kind I like to watch and learn from.
Take this and stick it up in your mother's twat!"
"That looks like Brillo."
I gots ta see that movie!
I'll try it your way... for now! (winks at 'moose, makes 'moose a little uncomfortable)