text:
Thank you, reader Katie, for sharing your experience. I can relate. Kind of. With my most recent pregnancy, I was six months pregnant before The Devil asked me when the baby was due.
You know, my husband and I have been married for almost 10 months now. I adore him. I adore his entire family, including all 7 of his brothers and sisters, his dad and s'mother (that's step-mother for those of you not extended-family-terminology savvy), even his insane drug-addict grandmother and over-bearing grandfather. But, the one that I cannot stand is The Devil Herself.
The MIL just has a knack for making everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) about her. My bridal shower? About her. My wedding? About her. The fucking tasting dinner for our caterer before the wedding was even about her! She politely arrived to the tasting to inform her son (my future husband at the time) that she was not going to stay because she was pretty sure she was having a heart attack. So, she left and drove herself to the hospital. I am sure you can only imagine the martyrdom. She thinks the world revolves around her and the sun fucking rises and sets on her ass.
Most recently, my husband and I found out that we are having a baby. The Devil was in the hospital at the time, which is another horrifying, story for another time. The short and sweet of it is that The Devil comes down with some life threatening illness or another about once every two months or so. Thus far, we've had brain tumors, MS, breast cancer, paralysis... you get the picture. Anyway, the crazy fuck was in the hospital again, and so she was next to the very last person to know that we are expecting a child. On the way to the hospital to tell her, my husband asked me if I really thought it was a good idea to tell her about our news at this time. When I asked him why he thought we should wait, he honestly said "Well, you know... because of the condition of her heart." I wanted to scream.
When we did finally tell her, the exchange went something like this:
Husband: "Mom, we wanted to tell you that we're having a baby."
Devil: "I'M going to be a grandma?!"
Husband: "Yep. We're having a baby, Mom."
Devil: "I'M so happy! I'M going to be a grandma!"
(Unsuspecting nurse enters.)
Devil: "Nurse! I'M going to be a grandma! Aren't you so happy for ME?!?"
No congratulations. No indication of the fact that this is something about my husband and myself and almost is in no way at all about HER. Nothing that signified her happiness or pleasure with the two of us. Simply celebration for her being launched into grandparenthood... by no real contribution of her own. Gosh, you have to love the self-centeredness of The Devil.
I'll just have to be sure that when she does finally kick it, I'm sure to let her know that that one really is all.about.her.
Friday, November 20, 2009
It's All About ME! Starring: The Devil Herself
Thank you, reader Katie, for sharing your experience. I can relate. Kind of. With my most recent pregnancy, I was six months pregnant before The Devil asked me when the baby was due.
Labels: Bad Grandma, Crazy, Reader Post, Weddings
Thursday, November 5, 2009
The Devil Wears Polyester
I must begin by apologizing profusely to my readers, especially to those who have submitted MIL stories for me to share. While I hadn't checked my email in months, I have finally started wading through it, and I promise to get your stories queued up, and post each and every one. I'm incredibly grateful for my faithful readers and my new followers. I have been enjoying catching up on all the comments I've missed! I had a busy summer, and now autumn has brought many changes to my life. A lame excuse, but that's my excuse, nonetheless. Fortunately, I am fine. Thank you, readers, for your loyalty and concern, but the Devil has NOT got the best of me. Now let's get back to business: bad-mouthing our mothers-in-law all over the Internet.
Kansas Girl submitted this hilarious post about her own polyester-clad Devil.
Now, don't get me wrong, I adore my children - but before I had them, I had some serious fun.
And then when I was 27, I got married and had my first of many (2) children. I had just turned 30 when my daughter was born; it was understood I would quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom. The world was calm and peaceful. I bought a jogging stroller and ran through the neighborhood everyday with baby Alli. Life at 30 wasn't the same as life at 22, but it was relatively nice.
Alas, there came a bump in the road... I was awakened one morning by the sound of the house shaking. The floor split open and flames shot up. I grabbed my baby girl and huddled in the corner as the devil rose from the pits of hell. I'd seen a lot of pictures of the devil - you know, dressed in red, horns, long tail, etc, etc, etc. But the devil that entered my house was wearing a double knit polyester pantsuit and bad wig. Baby Alli and I were informed that the devil was moving in. And we wept. OK, I wept. Oh, how I freakin' wept.
I know everyone has stories about how bad their mother-in-law is/was/can be, but my stories, I'm sure, are worse. The woman never stopped talking! Long, boring, pointless stories - well, I believe in total she had only 3 stories, so, she kept repeating them over and over until you wanted to rip the wig off her head and smack her with it. She liked to look out the window while she talked and one day I realized: I can leave the room while she's talking and she would never notice. And that's what I would do.
What was worse than having to listen to my mother-in-law? Actually having a conversation with her. Here's a sampling of a few:
Me: I'm making chicken for dinner tonight.
MIL: Stop using pepper when you cook, because I'm allergic to it.
Me: What? No, you aren't! How are you allergic to pepper?
MIL: It makes me sneeze.
Me: It seems the whole world is allergic to pepper then.
MIL: I don't like sarcasm - it's not funny.
(Driving out to eat.)
MIL: Did you see that huge dead dog in the middle of the road?
Me: No, that was just a flattened cardboard box.
Me: Obviously not, because that was a cardboard box.
(Husband turns car around and we freakin' drive back to the box in the road.)
MIL: Well, that's not what I was talking about. I saw a dead dog and it's gone now.
Me: I'm sure it magically got better and ran away.
MIL: I don't like sarcasm - it's not funny.
Me: I hate to tear myself away from your always entertaining story, but I have to feed the baby.
MIL: Why are you breast feeding my grandchild?
Me: Because I think I read somewhere that if you don't feed a baby it will die.
MIL: I don't like sarcasm - it's not funny.
Me: I didn't know that.
MIL: Baby formula is much better for a baby than breast milk.
Me: What? Where did you hear this?
MIL: When I had my babies the hospital nurse told me I should not breast feed, because it's not good for the baby.
Me: She probably only meant you, because you act like someone all whacked out on PCP.
MIL: What?
Me: That was sarcasm - and it was funny.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Totally Worth The Heat And The Crowds And The Exhaustion
Annual family membership to the zoo: $60
Carousel rides for 3 kids: $5.50
Cotton candy, popcorn, and lemonade: $14
The joy I get from telling The Devil that we already have plans when she calls to invite the kids over to her house to swim: Priceless.
Labels: Fucking With The Devil
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Just Like Poetic Justice
This is fucking great.
I have young children and a rule that no balls are to be thrown inside the house. Too dangerous. Too many chances for breakage or injury or tears. Common sense, right? Occasionally, much to my chagrin, my husband (the Anti-Christ?) can be found tossing a ball back and forth in the living room with one or more children, resulting in nagging and heated discussion about consistent discipline, much to my husband's (the Anti-Christ's?) chagrin. This happened again last week.
Several days later, during a small family gathering in our home, my son, in a moment of unbridled excitement, threw a ball at top speed across the living room, attempting to hit his father (the Anti-Christ?). Guess where it landed instead. Right in the middle of The Devil's bloated, thin-lipped, unsuspecting face.
No bloody nose or black eye for The Devil, but a moment I'll never forget, nonetheless.
Labels: Fucking With The Devil
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
The Silver Lining On The Fucked-Up, Drug-Addicted Cloud
Thanks to a reader, Katie, for sending her story.
I married a great guy, who had primary responsibility for three young children. Love the kids. Hate their mom (a whole other blog I suppose.) His mom, well, I knew she talked about me behind my back but was super-great to my face. You know the type, right? Made me paranoid. For 7 or 8 years. Doesn't anymore.
Why not?
Well, my friends, it's because I found out she doesn't know what the hell she ever talks about and no one ever believes her because they all know she's a druggie. No, not coke and heroin drugs, but steal-'em-from-your-friends and shop-around-at-hospitals drugs. Found this out in the best possible way.
My oldest had his tonsils out at age 7 or 8. The hospital sent him home with liquid Tylenol-3, you know, the fun kind with Codeine in it. Was giving him a dose every morning and every night for about a week so about half the bottle was left. The last dose I gave him, he commented that it didn't taste so bad anymore. "It almost tastes like water now!" Hmmm. Water? Really? Dipped my finger in it and discovered we'd performed a miracle in our house. Backwards, though. We'd turned T-3 into water! Hallelujah! Actually, guess who'd come to babysit while I'd run to the grocery store? Yep! Druggie gramma! Seems like she'd downed half a bottle of T-3 while taking care of my four small children. Awesome!!! But since I didn't know it yet, our suspicions actually turned to my teenage sons. . . which is fabulous to contemplate. Your teens are not only taking drugs but have stooped to the level of stealing it from their young siblings. It was a shitty moment. Thankfully,we didn't confront them (since it turns out they didn't do it) we just put things away in, we thought, a safer place. About 6 months later, I had my gallbladder removed and things became much clearer. Since I had four young children, Drug-gramma (henceforth to be known as D-G) took my kids for a few nights because I couldn't lift the children and was in a LOT of pain. My vicodin was stashed in the upstairs bathroom cabinet. Strangely, when D-G brought the children over for a visit two days post op (actually to dump them on me because she suddenly had some mysterious errand) she did something very strange, had to use the upstairs bathroom about 15 minutes after using our downstairs bathroom. Oh, and she rummaged our kitchen cabinets 'looking for a glass' even though she'd hit the glasses in the first cupboard. So that night I got my drugs out (again -- two days post op and in a LOT of pain) and realized there weren't quite as many. So Hubby and I counted. She'd taken over HALF my prescription. Guess I should be thankful it wasn't ALL like she did to her grandson.
Anyway, over the years we've confronted, ignored, tried to deal with and get her to deal with her problems. But we've maintained the relationship because the grandkids love her (who wouldn't love a gramma who let you do whatever you wanted and fed you tons of junk food?), but the final straw happened last December when our oldest son, her oldest grandchild, got married. Oh, yeah. We have a D-G wedding story.
Instead of coming to first grandson's wedding, she was at the ER shopping for drugs. So I called her on the phone in her room at the ER, and upon getting her on the phone (here she's thinking I'm going to commiserate) I sweetly informed her that if she didn't get her fucking druggie ass to her grandsons fucking wedding she wouldn't see her grandchildren again. The loving words that flowed from my mouth would've made a sailor blush.
So now she's comparing me to my husband's psycho ex-wife (when I say psycho I mean it because the woman's spent over three years of the last 12 in the psych ward) and telling everyone that I'm a bitch. I guess the silver lining is that she no longer has any friends (because she's stolen drugs from all of them) or anyone to believe her, so the word that I'm a bitch isn't spreading far.
Cuz I'm a silver-lining type of gal.
Labels: Bad Grandma, Crazy, Drugs, Reader Post, Weddings, WTF?
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Should I Bring This Up In Couple's Therapy?
In a moment of weakness, I allowed myself to be convinced to visit The Devil.
I should explain that my husband (The Anti-Christ?) and I have had our share of issues, but in a recent attempt to promote marital harmony, I agreed to accompany him and our children to the house of The Devil. I hemmed and hawed and made excuses and placed conditions, but in the end, I relented.
Big. Fucking. Mistake.
I should have known the evening was destined to end disastrously when my husband (The Anti-Christ?) and I had the following conversation on the drive over:
A-C: Well, your mom probably hates me.
DDIL: No, my mom loves you like a son, even though you've done some shitty things. Because, you know, she's, like, normal and wants the best for us. Unlike some other mother I know who hates me even though I've never done a thing wrong to her, ever.*
A-C: My mom doesn't hate you, she thinks you hate her.
DDIL: No comment.
So, I sat, being eaten alive by demon mosquitoes in The Devil's backyard, and watched my children splash happily in The Devil's pool and listened to The Devil recount her week's activities of shopping, yoga, British television programming, new prescription medications and earlier that day, lunch with a friend of her's and the friend's daughters. Of course, my husband, being a dutiful and attentive
minion son asked how she enjoyed her lunch, which she must have interpreted as "Hey, mom, can you tell us about your lunch and find a way to piss off DDIL while you're at it?"
So, she spends the next 15 minutes telling us how all she heard the entire time at lunch from the friend's daughters was how "hot" A-C was. How he's so good-looking, he could be a model. How nobody would believe he's married, with children. Of course, The Devil thought it necessary to add:
"I don't think DDIL knows how lucky she is, with such a hot-looking husband!"
Meaning what? I'm such a fucking ugly dog-face that I should be grateful she allowed her "hot" son to have sex with me multiple times? I'm really not a jealous person, but the fact that I know she said these things to get under my skin infuriates me. And it infuriates me because I know she said these things knowing that it could create discord for us, at a time when we're already struggling to keep our marriage and family together. And it infuriates me that I let her infuriate me.
I held my tongue and tried to not let on that she accomplished her goal. I bit my lip when she insisted we stay for dinner. I swallowed the bile that rose to my mouth when she licked her fingers after dinner while complaining about not being able to lose any weight. I resisted making any snide comments when The Devil lamented her daughter's poor choice in boyfriends. And I kept my thoughts to myself when my husband (The Anti-Christ?) mentioned that night that I seemed upset. All for the sake of marital harmony.
And because I'm afraid if I mention it, my husband (The Anti-Christ?) may, with good intentions, tell his mother that her comments were inappropriate. And I'd rather have every last ounce of blood in my body drained by those demon mosquitoes than give her that satisfaction.
Live and learn, I guess. Learn to avoid The Devil like the bloated, white-haired, drunken plague.
*Not counting creating this blog, of course, because as far as I know, The Devil and my husband (The Anti-Christ?) are none the wiser.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
But At Least She's Not A Nigger, Right, Ma?
Reader, Chatterbox Sara, shares more of her MIL with us. Read her other posts HERE.
Directly after meeting my future in-laws for the first time, as in, when they called to let us know they got home safely, N put MIL on speaker phone again and here's a snippet of the conversation, where MIL basically calls me a heifer.
N: I'm glad you guys made it home ok. Did you have a good time here?
MIL: It was nice. The food was soooo good that you two made. (Insert a long paragraph where she obsessed over my daughter and started crying about having to leave her.)
N interrupts the drama: I'm glad you see why I love them so much. I assume you guys like Sara and are ok with all this then?
MIL: Well, I didn't say that I particularly like Sara. I'm just so in love with her daughter. I guess if she makes you happy, I can overlook somethings.
N: Uhh, like what? I didn't see her do or say anything that should make you not like her.
MIL: It's just that she's so large. You always dated much smaller girls and I really liked that because that meant you would always have a wife who's thin and pretty.
N: Sara's not big, ma! I don't even think she's a size 8, plus she did just have a baby 5 months ago.
MIL: I'm just saying she could be smaller and prettier is all! I just don't think you'll be happy with a larger woman. I mean, fat people never get thinner, they just get fatter. I would know. What if in ten years, you don't find her attractive at all, then you'd have to get a divorce!
N: I happen to not have a problem with her size or looks, CLEARLY, since I'm dating her and would like to marry her eventually.
MIL: Well, I guess not everyone wants a thin or pretty wife. Just make sure that your choice really makes you happy.
N hung up on her then. They had several more fights over how inappropriate that was and then for a year straight she would make these smirking comments about how thiiiiiiiiiin I was and how greeeeeeeeeeeeeeat I looked. Ugh. Anytime we went out to eat, I would always order salads and water, and comment on how many calories or fat grams whatever she ate probably had. Mama didn't raise no coward! I guess, at least this time she wasn't being racist is a plus?
Labels: Crazy, Marriage, Racism, Reader Post, Weight
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
The Apple Doesn't Fall Far From the Psycho Tree
"Agog" sent me this email. I hope sharing this helped a bit.
I made the mistake of marrying some woman's only child. I did not know at the time that he was a swirling cauldron of mother-hate. I innocently bred with him. I had three children with him before it became unavoidably obvious that his mother-hate therapy consisted in abusing ME.
Meanwhile, she helpfully called me from across town to inform me that my child "smelled yesterday and she needs to be put on the potty." Helpful advice like that. Or that my child needed to be taken outside to play. (When there was 4 inches of ice on the ground and it was 5 degrees out.) Eventually, life with Psycho got so bad I tried to confide in HatedMother. Her words: "I don't know, and I don't want to know. It's not my problem." When he left me, HatedMother moved in with him to clean his toilets and help him raise my children 48 percent of the time. He had ignored the kids for almost 10 years and maybe needed someone to tell him when to put them on the potty. I dunno. Seeing how he had the attention span of a goldfish when it came to anything that required actual work, HatedMother helped him keep my sweet precious children away from my love and discipline for 48 percent of the time for the past 10 years. In the past few years, she started to notice that Psycho is crazier than a betsy bug and mean as a snake. And that my previously-dear children have changed and now act and sound and treat her a lot like, well, Psycho. Go figure. Then she began to call ME and complain about how horrible Psycho and the Cherubs were. Look, woman! You don't get to help ruin my children and now tell me that they suck!
Sometimes, she kind of hints that she'd like to live with me when her son threatens to throw her out on the street. Like hell.
Oh, she still refers to me as her DIL.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Suck This!
Yikes! Reader, Carrie, shared a truly horrible labor/delivery/MIL experience.
When I was in labor, my MIL complained about waiting in the waiting area while I was pushing because she was "too good" for it. She threatened to sue my doctor and the nurses when they wouldn't let her in while I was pushing. She then said my husband was a selfish b*stard for asking her to wait an hour or so after the baby was born for us to have time alone with her. And she came in anyways. My cervix tore and I had to go to the operating room after the birth and when I was wheeled back in, she was there and when my husband asked me how I was she told me to "suck it up." My IL's, without telling us, sent out a mass email to THEIR friends inviting them to a party in my hospital room a few hours after the baby was born. When we said I wasn't up for it,they still did it. Then, a day later, my MIL said she wanted me to apologize for ruining her labor experience.
Labels: Bad Grandma, Crazy, Reader Post, WTF?
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Shut The Door, Devil Woman
Reader, Miles, shares a few MIL memories with us. Thank you so much, Miles!
I should have known my MIL was trouble the day I met her and the first words out of her mouth were, "I've had bad haircuts before, too." Then, a few moments later, she pointed to a wart on my hand that's since been removed, and said, "You know, there are doctors that can remove those." Not surprisingly, that meeting ended with my wife yelling, "Don't talk to him anymore, please!" She later explained to me that she'd been nervous about meeting me so she'd taken down 1.5 bottles of cheap white wine, which is now kind of her calling card. My wife actually makes bets with me, and if I lose, I have to call my MIL and talk to her. This usually involves me saying, "Hello, [devil woman]" and then sitting back and listening to her drunkenly talk about whatever. The last bet I lost she was crying on the phone to me about her college alma mater's football team for an hour before my wife finally had mercy and saved me. And I mean literally crying, while slurring her speech.
I wish there were some stories I could tell about her involvement in our wedding, like so many of your other commenters, but to be honest she didn't contribute at all to the planning. I do remember my wife calling her stressed out about money though, and she actually encouraged us to run away and get married in Vegas. Luckily, my mom was there to settle us down and give us advice on how to cut back on some expenses. Oh, and she made it through maybe ¼ of the wedding before she was so drunk my wife had to escort her to her quarters. Now that I think about it, maybe that was her contribution!
Fast forward to her most recent trip during Easter Weekend. MIL and her boyfriend were planning to visit, and had arranged for my wife to host a dinner party for them and another couple that they are friends with who live in our area. I thought maybe this would be the first trip where she closed the bathroom door while doing her business, but alas that streak (no pun intended) is still alive and well. So after Jedi-mind-tricking my wife into throwing a dinner party for her, she proceeded to waddle around and spend the day drinking wine to work up the courage to talk to people. Her boyfriend parked himself on our couch in front of the TV and smoked more weed than I previously thought was humanly possible. Seriously, Dale and Saul from Pineapple Express would have been in awe.
As previously mentioned, white wine gives her the amazing ability to say the absolute worst possible things and this day was no different. While my wife spent the day slaving away in the kitchen, my MIL hovered over her shoulder generally henpecking and giving bad, drunken advice. There were a number of yelling episodes over things like pie crust, table setting and the like, but the grand finale came during dinner when she drunkenly fell while carrying au jus and spilled it all over our off-white carpet. Instead of apologizing, or even attempting to help clean up, she then yelled at us for having off-white carpet as if we deserved to have a stain for buying a house with off white-carpet.
Now, I should point out that the MIL's boyfriend owns a carpet cleaning business, and they had, in fact. driven to our house in a carpet-cleaning van which, at that very moment, was parked in our driveway. The next morning, I figured we could use that to our advantage, but I was sorely mistaken. After getting up bright and early at 11:30 am, the boyfriend stretched out, smoked three joints and said he had to hit the road. Classic. Well the good news is, I don't think my MIL will be back until next year, so I've got until then to try to erase the memory of her using the toilet with the bathroom door open.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Maybe Take a Sharpie and Draw Some Horns and a Tail on That Family Photo
Many thanks to reader, Carly, for sharing this anecdote.
My MIL has passed away, and in the spirit of not speaking poorly of the dead, I'll refrain from the many stories I could tell, except for her parting gift.
She had three children, but both of the daughters were single and had no children. In fact, both of them pretty much cut all ties with their folks. It was the MIL's heart's desire, however, to have a family photo taken, and as neither sister would be present, the family portrait would be with just the parents, my husband and I and our children. Fine. As we prepared to make an appointment with the photographer, my MIL pulled me aside and let me know that she'd "like to have the picture taken, you know, with just the family"... I looked at her rather blankly and slowly caught on that she'd like my husband and children in the photo, but not me. I wasn't "family." I was afraid for a moment that we were going to have to cut the kids in half so that no one would be able to see that portion of genetic material that I had contributed. Apparently, there were concessions she'd be willing to make, so the children were spared...
She died shortly after that due to diabetic complications. My heart still sinks whenever I see a short, rotund, white haired woman. The legacy she left is (hopefully) not the one she intended.
Labels: Bad Grandma, Reader Post, WTF?
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Some Kind Of Sick Bitch
The Devil is a freak about ailments and illness. She loves them. She loves when someone is sick. She loves when she's sick herself. She loves having surgery. And she especially loves taking and administering medication, almost to the point of obsession (think Munchausen's Syndrome).
She hoards medications. She keeps both prescription and over-the-counter medications in this giant cardboard box in a cabinet. And she keeps them indefinitely. My husband had poison ivy last summer and she sent him home with some kind of ointment. That expired in 1997. I made the mistake once of mentioning that I had a headache at her house. She offered me some left-over antibiotic from her box o' drugs for the "sinus infection" that I "must be getting." If someone complains of a sore back, she gets out her box and offers vicodin or percocet. Toothache? Have some codeine. Can't sleep? The Devil's got a xanax for you.
Loose pills can often be found in The Devil's purse or scattered on her nightstand. She keeps her current prescription jars lined up on her kitchen counter. Like trophies. I once heard The Devil berate one of her grown children for cleaning her kitchen and putting the prescription bottles inside a kitchen cupboard, right above where they were normally kept on the counter. She shouted: "I need to be able to see them!"
Years ago, my husband and I were desperate to conceive and sought help from a fertility specialist, who prescribed a series of pills to be taken orally by me, detailed ultrasounds of follicles and such, and carefully-timed injections. One of these carefully-timed injections needed to occur at The Devil's house after we'd been invited for dinner one evening. This was no secret, and The Devil practically begged me to let her administer the injection. She did, and I carefully wrapped the needle and empty jar in paper towels and placed them inside a plastic grocery bag, which I tied tightly in a knot and threw away in the kitchen garbage can. Several days later, when I happened to stop at The Devil's house for one reason or another, I noticed the discarded, empty serum jar lined up on her counter with the rest of her trophies. What the freaky fuck?
I am generally a live-and-let-live, non-judgemental kind of person. It doesn't bother me a bit if The Devil wants to drug herself into incoherent oblivion or stare lovingly at used syringes. I'm not as casual, however, about medication myself, and in fact, I happen to be quite conservative when it comes to medicating my children. That is, I don't. I rarely give any medicines to my children that aren't specifically prescribed by their pediatrician, and even those, over the years have been few and far between.
When my oldest child was about 6 months old, and just starting to eat solid foods, she, consequently, was having a tough time moving her little bowels, as is common. We "treated" her with fruit juice and prunes, as was recommended by the pediatrician. I was pregnant again, but nearly 3 months into the pregnancy, began to miscarry at home. My husband and I rushed to the hospital, and dropped our oldest off at The Devil's house. A few miserable hours later, we picked her up and returned home. While preparing her for bedtime, I noticed something that looked, to my new-mother's eyes, like a choking-hazard-size piece of plastic in my baby's extremely messy diaper. Obviously, my husband and I were incredibly alarmed and he called The Devil to ask what the baby could have possibly swallowed while in her care. The Devil "reassured" us by telling us that she'd given a rectal suppository to the baby.
WHAT. THE. FUCK? Who, in their right mind, would think to administer a rectal suppository to an infant without thinking to ask the parents' permission, and at the very least, thinking to tell the (already traumatized by a proximate miscarriage!) parents after the fact so they wouldn't freak the fuck out when finding what was left of it in the infant's disgusting diaper?!?
Amazingly, my husband remained calm when he explained to his mother that this is not the way we dealt with the baby's constipation. And that it had been completely inappropriate for her to administer the suppository without asking us or telling us about it. And that, in the future, she must never give the baby any kind of medicine without our explicit permission.
Do you think The Devil apologized? No. The Devil sobbed. My husband got a stern lecture from his father for 'upsetting' her and expected him to apologize. We got the silent treatment for a week or more. I found out years later, that The Devil had called many family members and cried to them, saying how awful we were to her.
Just a few years ago, my two oldest - about ages 6 and 3 at the time - came home from a visit with The Devil and mentioned, out of the blue, the "orange medicine" that she'd given to my young son, the 3 year-old, when he fell and scraped his knee. I remained calm, but interrogated the older child for details. She got the medicine from her box. It was orange. She gave it to him on a spoon. She offered to let the older child have a taste. As young as they were, both kids told the same story and I knew they were telling the truth. My cure for a scraped knee is a band-aid and a kiss. I was livid. I explained the situation to my husband and demanded he call The Devil for an explanation. He was hesitant, but finally spoke to his father, who refused to even bring the subject up with The Devil, but offered a weak denial of any "orange medicine" incident. We got the silent treatment again. Which was fine with me.
Fucking crazy bitch.
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thanks For The Eating Disorder
Thanks to an anonymous reader for sharing a recent experience with us. Hope to hear more from you!
My mother-in-law was sitting in her kitchen, talking to my husband's grandmother with the windows open. I was sitting on the patio reading the paper. It was a glorious day and about 90 degrees. I heard my husband's grandmother say to my MIL about me: "Is Shelly going to put on her swimsuit and join you outside?" and my MIL replied "No, I don't think so, I think she realizes she is rather on the large size."
My mouth hit the floor! First of all, I am a size 10 (Isn't that average?) Secondly, she knew I could hear every damn word she said.
Labels: Crap, Crazy, Reader Post, Weight, WTF?
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
And Speaking of Racists - Chapter Three
Thank you, Chatterbox Sara, for sharing! Enjoy Chapter Two below or HERE.
After we had dated for awhile, N and I moved in together. We invited his parents to our new house for a lunch. N was pretty nervous. When they first arrived, this is what my MIL said:
"Oh wow! This house is so nice! I mean, I just figured everything would be all trashy and such. You're not black! Wow! I brought you a present, hope you like it! It's a pig. N told me you think pigs are cute, so I got you a pig as a centerpiece for your table. I love animal centerpieces. Where's your daughter? Is she black? I guess I've never asked that. Where is she, I want to see her. You know I love babies, right?"
E woke up from her nap and we brought her out. MIL grabs her and starts sobbing hysterically. She then says:
"Oh my God! She's so precious! I always wanted a daughter, but we ended up having to adopt and got him. I so wish we could have adopted a girl instead. Honey, LOOK at E. She's just what I always wanted, blond curls and blue eyes, she looks like one of my little porcelain dolls I collect. When can we have her for a visit? I want to take her to live with us, I mean visit us. If you two are really going to get married, then E is ours now. I want to bring her home right away, I just need to be with her. God finally granted my wish, now I have a little girl!"
Labels: Bad Grandma, Crazy, Gifts, Hysterics, Racism, Reader Post
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
And Speaking of Racists - Chapter Two
Here is the second part of reader Chatterbox Sara's series. Read Chapter One below or HERE.
Two weeks after that phone call, I recieved a call out of the blue from my future-MIL. Apparently, she had realized I was not going away, so she decided to "make nice". She spent about three minutes asking about me, telling me about herself, and then launched into an hour- long monologue about what an awful human being my husband is. Some highlights included:
"You know he's a liar, right? When he was in 6th grade, he lied to me. I was heart broken for months. He said he got a good grade on a test, but I found out later that he DIDN'T. He got an 88% on that test! I just can't find it in my heart to forgive him. Everytime we speak, I find myself looking into his eyes, desperate to know if he's talling me the truth or if that's the liar devil in his eyes!"
"I just really hope he's still a virgin. Do you two have sex? What does he like? What's he like in bed. Did you steal his virginity from him? I always wonder whether he's actually secretly gay. I keep telling him that it's fine if he is gay, but he keeps denying it and getting mad at me. I wouldn't mind if he didn't get married. He's my only son you know, it would be nice if he moved home and just lived with us to take care of us when we get older. Well, you guys must be having sex if he wants to marry a woman with a kid."
"Are you a nigger? Do you drink or do drugs? How did you end up having a kid? Are you trying to get us to assume financial responsibility of that kid?"
Labels: Crazy, Gays, Racism, Reader Post
Monday, May 11, 2009
And Speaking of Racists - Chapter One
Reader Chatterbox Sara, sent me a series of stories about her first impressions of her mother-in-law. I hope we hear more from her, this one sounds like a real prize!
When my husband and I first started dating, I was a single mother with a 4 month old daughter. Surprisingly, he was okay with this. I say surprisingly because I was 24 and he was barely 22. He had been regaling me with stories of how horrifically weird my now MIL is, but all I could think was: "Yeah, okay, who's the one who had a drunk psycho for a father? That'd be me, nothing tops that."
But he proved to be right. It came time to tell her that he had met someone he was serious about. He put her on speaker phone:
So, anyways, I wanted to tell you about the gal I'm dating.
Oh, so you're dating again? A girl? I've always told you it's okay if you're gay.
Yeah. Thanks for that. Anyways, her name is Sara. We met about two months ago and I'm really crazy about her.
Hmmm. I never liked the name Sara. I always liked that girl Katherine you dated. She was so nice.
Mom, Kath and I dated when we were 14. She's a lesbian now and she lives in Maine.
(screeching) YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU DATE LESBIANS! IS THIS SARA A LESBIAN!?!?
Okay, mom, let's just stop. You've known that Katherine is a lesbo for like 5 years.
Fine. So, tell me all about her.
Okay well... (fill in some boring details about me)... Also, she's got a 4 month old daughter named E, who's really adorable. I'm so crazy about them both!
You got some girl pregnant and didn't tell me? You have a secret child? What is she, black? Is that why you never told me? Is she a nigger?
Um. No. E isn't my daughter. But if Sara and I get married, I'd like to adopt E someday. I'm pretty serious about her.
How can you be serious about some floozy that I've never met? I don't like this Sara girl. She's just trying to trick you into marrying her. Are you having sex? Are you using birth control? You can never be too careful, this girl obviously tried to trap someone else into marrying her and look how that worked out.
Well, I'd like you to meet her if you'd be normal and treat her nicely. No, she's not black. No she's not trying to trick me into marrying her. In fact, she's never even brought it up. As for birth control, that's our business, not yours. I just THOUGHT you'd like to know about the woman I'm dating and serious about.
Well, I can't be glad about you dating sluts. I'd be glad if you dated nice girls like Katherine.
You'd rather I date a lesbian than a single mother?
Then she hung up.
Labels: Lesbians, Racism, Reader Post, Sluts
Friday, May 8, 2009
Speaking of Weddings
My sister-in-law, The Devil's daughter, is to be a bridesmaid in the wedding of a friend. Recently, The Devil expressed disdain for the whole affair, wrinkling her demon nose at the fact that this friend was getting married to "a black guy". She grasped for a half dozen reasons to criticize the bride, her family, the bachelorette party, and the dress, but what it really comes down to is that she doesn't want her daughter to be in the wedding party because she doesn't want any of "those people" hitting on her at the reception. Nice, huh?
But when The Devil was gainfully employed, she used to make a point of talking about how friendly she was with the one black woman in her office. Like to prove how modern she was.
She makes it so easy to hate her.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Wedding Hells
Thank you, reader, J, for the story of ultimate mother-in-law misery: wedding planning!
Where to begin?
I suppose my mother-in-law behaved most like a wretched lunatic before she actually became my mother-in-law, when my husband and I were engaged and planning our wedding. She's not so bad now that she knows I'm not going anywhere, and she's really not a bad person. She can at times just be shockingly immature and childishly self-absorbed.
At first, when my husband and I moved in together a few months before our wedding, she started calling. And calling and calling and calling. She didn't live too far from us, so there was a constant imaginary need for him to come over and push the right button on the VCR so she could watch a movie, because she just "can't figure it out alone! You just have to come over right now and do it for me!" or "I am splitting up with your step dad (again) and I'm going to be out of town for the weekend, so I need you to stay in the house in case he breaks in!" Great, lady. Ask my husband to risk his safety to defend all your tacky knick-knacks. Super parenting. Fortunately he refused.
Then when it got closer to the wedding date, I tried to be nice and make her feel included. She'd already offered and then reneged on paying for the cake and the flowers, so I'd sort of left her out of the loop after that because I couldn't deal with her constant failure to keep her commitments (see above: "splitting up with your step dad (again)"), whether financial or marital. So one afternoon I called her up and asked her what she planned to wear to the wedding because my mom and friends and I were planning to make the corsages and boutonnieres ourselves, and I offered to make her one that would match her outfit. I commented, completely in passing, that we'd be hand-making corsages "for all the moms and grandmothers," so we figured why not see what people would like to wear. How nice of my mom to be willing to do that, right? She told me she'd be wearing a "sexy, gold suit with purple embroidered flowers" and thanked me for asking. (BTW - the suit was hilarious, especially because she neglected to cut the little stitch that holds the slit closed, so it was VERY tight, and consequently she waddled around like Morticia Addams through the whole reception!)
So after she spoke with me about the corsage, she immediately called my husband, not realizing we were in the car together. I was shocked to hear my very mild-mannered husband speak quite sharply to his mother. My favorite line was, "If my step-mother wearing a fucking flower on her fucking dress would keep you from attending my marriage then you don't deserve to be there at all. Call me back when you feel like being an adult." Click.
Ooh, daaaang!!! I thought with joy.
Apparently this woman had been shrieking in tearful hysterics that he just had to make sure that his step-mother (who had at that point been married to my husband's father for SEVENTEEN YEARS and was also the mother of my husband's little brother, our ring-bearer) did not get to wear a corsage. Thinking this was her just her usual childish attention-grab, he dismissively told her that sort of decision wasn't up to him and that if I and my mom were making his step-mom a corsage, she would be wearing a corsage. Period. That's when she began to wail and moan and scream and insist that because he's a man, he just "can't understand that corsages are for mothers and grandmothers only not for step-mothers!!!!" And when he again informed her that the decision had been made, and he would not try to stop the impending corsage-wearing, she informed him that if his step-mother were allowed to wear a corsage to our wedding, she would not attend. She actually threatened to skip our wedding over a flower! Thankfully, my husband does not negotiate with terrorists, so he left her with the choice words I've already provided above and hung up the phone. A little while later she left him a voicemail telling him of course she'd be there, and imploring him not to tell me about her behavior because she "doesn't want her and her mom to think I am a difficult person because I am not a difficult person. I get along with everybody. Everybody likes me."
It gets better, too. My sweet but at times negligent husband had failed to write the specific names of some tenth cousins on their wedding invitation, and instead just wrote "The So-and-so Family." Well, about ONE WEEK before the wedding, they RSVP'd for ELEVEN PEOPLE. Because we'd already had to find space for various cousins that my husband didn't really know at his mother's insistence, these people were just going to be IMPOSSIBLE to seat. When I asked my husband why he hadn't written their names on the invitation (btw, it's a middle-aged married couple, and we'd thought they MIGHT bring their two adult daughters, so it should have been two people, or four if they were rude), he said, I kid you not, "Oh, I don't know their first names."
Why are we inviting people whose NAMES HE DOES NOT EVEN KNOW??????
Well. In that case, I decided we could just call them and explain that we just cannot seat 11 people and that we had meant to only address the invitation to the two occupants of the household and we are very, terribly sorry, etc. I mean, obviously this can't be THAT offensive since he really doesn't even know them, right????
So he called his mother to find out their names and explain the situation. Cue the wailing and crying and screaming. "Son, you cannot un-invite people from a wedding!" Now, ordinarily, I'd agree with that, but these people had behaved outrageously by RSVP-ing ELEVEN people one week before the wedding! Furthermore, they don't even know my husband personally, and the extra people they were bringing included their daughter's boyfriend and his cousin who happens to also live in our city and that guy's friend who was visiting from out of town.
So she screams and wails and insists that if we un-invite them, "THE FAMILY WILL BE RUINED! RUINED!!!! AND THEY ARE IN MOURNING! THEIR GRANDMOTHER JUST PASSED AWAY!!! IT WILL TEAR US APART!!!!"
THEN the crazy woman calls me and tells me she understands that my parents are having some trouble covering expenses, so she has decided that she will rent a tent and some tables and set them up outside the building where our reception would be, for her family to have dinner in. OH. HELL. NO. Over my dead body would my mother-in-law throw a PRIVATE PARTY at our wedding reception! I was livid. But because I was a tender twenty-one years of age, I simply said that wouldn't be necessary. When I informed my mother, she was outraged at my MIL's jab at her finances and the notion of the private party, so right then my mother decided we'd squeeze in two more tables and absorb 11 more people and if anyone complained about the cramped space, we'd just explain to them that THOSE TWO TABLES FULL OF PEOPLE OVER THERE just RSVP'd last Thursday, so we'd had to make do.
Well, the wedding went off really without a hitch. It was a little crowded, but a good time was had by all, and my new mother-in-law got good and drunk and maintained a placid demeanor the whole time. I must point out though, that one of the Belated Eleven came up to me and my husband's best man and congratulated us on our marriage. Twice. So I doubt it really would have RUINED THE FAMILY if we had un-invited them, but whatever. It's all good, and now that she knows I'm not going anywhere, she ranges from tolerable to downright pleasant the vast majority of the time.
She's still crazy though.
Labels: Crazy, Flowers, Hysterics, Reader Post, Weddings
Saturday, May 2, 2009
"Manipulative Bitch" Has A Nice Ring To It.
I was thinking the other day of ways I could get to The Devil. I mean, really get under her skin.
I've always called her by her first name, although I try and avoid addressing her directly at all. I was thinking that she'd find it very unsettling if, out of the blue, I just started calling her "Mom". I can imagine perfectly her showing up at my door (since I'm no longer welcome in her home, but that's another, very long, post) and me greeting her with a warm smile and a pleasant "Hi, Mom, come on in!" Just picturing the look on her face, and the way she'd be struck speechless for several seconds as she struggled to comprehend what was happening brings me such pleasure! I know she'd find this terribly disturbing and would probably spend days, if not weeks, trying to analyze and understand what this kind of development could mean. I'm sure she'd lose sleep over it. I bet she would call friends and family and ask for advice and opinions on the matter. If only I thought I could actually go through with it. With a straight face.
What do you call your mother-in-law? And what do you call her to her face?
Labels: Fucking With The Devil
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Creepy, Indeed!
Thanks to reader, K, for sharing more MIL misery with us.
Evidently, my MIL always wanted a daughter, but never had one.
So there we were, sitting around admiring MY newborn daughter when she says, "I think God sent her to me." WTF? To you? My eyebrows about shot off my head and she tried to amend what she said but it still sounded just as creepy. She said, "Oh I mean God gave her to you but really to me."
I think that was the last time I let her hold my daughter that visit. Then a few weeks later, I was telling my MIL about how smart I thought my infant daughter was (us moms can be so silly!) and she replied, "Of course she's smart, she's OURS." Ours? Ours? Creepy. Four years later, the woman tries to tell me about the vacations she wants to bring my daughter on. Can you say hell no?!
Labels: Bad Grandma, Reader Post
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Speaking of Mad Dog 20/20
Have I mentioned that The Devil is fond of the drink?
Now I'm not some tee-totaling prude, and I can enjoy a drink at a socially acceptable time and place, but I choose to have my wits about me while my children are in my care - which just happens to be all of the time.
The Devil doesn't happen to hold sobriety as high a priority as I do, and she can often be found with a drink in hand. In fact, she has been known to polish off a bottle of wine herself at a family gathering. At noon, on a Sunday. And she's notorious (at least among her daughters-in-law) for bringing booze with her during visits to the homes of her grandchildren. Years ago, she arrived at my door to "comfort and grieve with me" (after an unexpected and tragic death in our family) with a plastic cupful of something that was too important to leave at home, or at least in the car.
All of these could be chalked up to lifestyle choice, but I find it hard to hold my tongue when she has wrinkled her nose at me nursing my babies and scoffed, with pity: "Oh. That's too bad you can't have a drink. I think that's half the reason I never wanted to breastfeed!", as if I appeared to be craving a drink in the first place. Believe it or not, bitch, I find it quite enjoyable to celebrate my child's first birthday without being sloshed. And, in fact, I don't hold my tongue, when I've seen her shoving a maraschino cherry in my toddler's mouth that's been floating in some drink of hers for a half hour. And then shoving it in again, when the tot clearly doesn't enjoy the taste. Of course, I'm "unreasonable" and "rude" when I'm vocal about the fact that I prefer if she didn't force-feed my babies cherries or ice cubes that have been steeped in alcohol. What the fuck should I expect from the woman who offers her own teenage daughter a drink and says, when it's refused: "What? You can drink with your friends, but not your own family?"
Fucking drunken freak.
I'd like to thank my readers for sharing your mother-in-law stories with me. It's certainly therapeutic for me to know that I'm not alone in my mother-in-law misery. I hope you all find them just as helpful. Or entertaining. Or both.
Labels: Bad Grandma, Drunk and Disorderly
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Mad Dog Mother-In-Law
Reader "SDL" emailed her mother-in-law horror story. Thanks for sharing this, SDL. Hope it helped to get some of this off your chest.
My husband was allowed to drink, and even drove his Dad home from bars, starting at the age of 10. When the family sits around and tells stories of the past, they laugh about how funny it all was. All their stories revolve around how drunk they were on Mad Dog 20/20.
Flash forward to 5 years ago and my husband became sober. Life is great with him being sober, but my mother-in-law says that I have changed him and that I am snotty and a bitch. According to her, he was just fine.
He had 3 DUI convictions. I didn't get him out of jail when he got caught 5 years ago. I should have sold my horses to get him out, according to her. We had the money, but I didn't want to feel the guilt if he got out and killed somebody while driving drunk. She says he wouldn't have done that and that I was being a "drama queen".
My mother-in-law only calls when she wants money. Yet, the woman goes to the casinos instead of buying her heart meds and cries that she can't afford them. We had a sit-down talk at the house two years ago. My husband and I told her that calling us only when she needed money, and that calling me names like "bitch" was hurtful. She apologized to my hubby, but said I probably "made" him say all those things to her. I got up and told her to get out of my house and that is the last time I spoke to her.
Oh yeah. When my father-in-law died in '04, I paid for a large part of the funeral. We paid for the headstone because they have zero money and no life insurance. She knows I paid for the services, but says I didn't do anything for her family when he died.
And I am the bitch???? I love my husband dearly. But my mother-in-law? I would have to hit the gas pedal if I saw her crossing the street.
Labels: Reader Post
Friday, April 24, 2009
Satan's Easter Basket
Reader "K" emailed to share a recent experience in hellish mother-in-law gifts. If you can call them that. Thanks, K.
My MIL is the worst gift-giver ever. Seriously, I don't know what her problem is, but if it's in the checkout line at Big Lots, or even better, at a garage sale, then it is purchased and shipped to my house and called a gift.
This Easter, like every other holiday, my kids got a package from their Mimi. A package of shit and the contents were the following:
- Magic Grow Kitty, a paper (?) cat that you add water to and watch it grow into something mommy throws into the trash.
- An elephant balloon. You know, every child wants one?!?!
- A fly trapped in plastic ice cube. Yes! Just what I wanted my daughter to own.
- A bubble blower from a wedding. Because nothing says cheap like I got you a free thing of bubbles.
- A Ziploc bag of hangers. Because its what I always wanted.
- An eyeball headband, what all the kids are wearing these days.
- A bunny purse filled with 15 plastic caterpillars. WTF?
- A jumbo 2ft long pencil. Because, you know, my kid is 3ft tall and needs a pencil this big?!?
- A magnet shaped like the state of Oklahoma, just to remind us how far away she lives. Thank God.
- Seven outfits for my son that are shockingly too small, as in 0-3 months size. My boy is 7 months old and wears size 12-18 months clothes.
Next time, just mail a card and put a $20 in it. Geez.
Labels: Crap, Gifts, Reader Post
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
(Try Not To) Picture It.
The Devil has this habit of telling the same stories over and over. I used to humor her, smile and nod and listen politely, then try and subtly change the subject. Lately, though, I've given up all tactfulness and just say: "Yeah. You already told me that." I just can't take it anymore.
For example. Whenever the subject of illness comes up in conversation, like if you happen to mention you're coming down with a cold, she tells the story of the worst case of stomach flu she ever had. Every time. With details. Such as: she was desperately clutching the toilet bowl, retching violently and simultaneously experiencing uncontrollable diarrhea. That is, retching into the toilet while trying to sit atop a garbage pail.
I wonder: Why the fuck would you not sit on the toilet and vomit into the trash can, like a human being, you stupid cow? And even if this actually happened to you, why the fuck would you tell somebody about it? Dozens of times?
Labels: Diarrhea, TMI about The Devil
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Some Guy Felt Your Boob. Get Over It.
So, this one time about 3 years ago, my husband and I were at The Devil's house for dinner. I'm not sure if we were already on the subject, or if The Devil just admitted out of the blue:
"You know, I was molested as a child."
My husband and brother-in-law and I all exchanged a look and the implicit thought: Oh, Christ. Here we go... I had a moment of clarity when I thought maybe some horrific sexual torture had warped her personality. It all started making sense.
"When I was a teenager, a friend of my father's stopped over at the house. He'd been drinking and when I was alone in the room with him, he grabbed my breast." She broke down and sobbed.
We all tried not to laugh, and my father-in-law got up from the table, uncomfortable and embarrassed. We avoided looking at each other as my brother-in-law began "Mom..." but didn't finish his sentence.
All I could think was: Bitch, do you know how many men felt my boobs when I was a teenager? And you're crying about this 40 years later?


text:
Kegs are the best option for events and promotions. They are an even better option when you decide to hire a Brew Box, and here is why.
Kegs can be bought New Zealand in three different sizes. 25 Litre, 30 Litre and 50 Litre. A 50L keg is the equivalent of 160 bottles of better, just over 13 boxes of 12. You can easily get 4 x 50L kegs in a small car, but you would struggle to get 52 boxes of beer!
Keeping it cold:
Trying to keep hundreds and hundreds of bottles of beer cold, and replacing ice throughout your event is a mission! When you purchase a keg, and hire a Brew Box you don't need any ice. We simply connect up your kegs and you have ice cold beer and/or cider pouring all day and night.
The last thing you want to do after your wedding or event is deal with the rubbish. When using bottles, you are left with so many cardboard boxes and bottles and often nowhere to take them but back to your house where you will slowly get rid of them every fort night when the recycle bin gets picked up. Using kegs eliminates this problem, and if you want, we will even take those away for you!
It's just cooler!
Your event isn't just another night or another party where people will be sipping on the cheapest bottle of beer they can find. Having a Brew Box, and allowing your guests to pour their own beer from a proper bar tap is something unique and will add something extra to your party.
Bottles definitely have their time and place, buts just not at your event! Book a Brew Box today and discover why we love kegs so much!

subset: commoncrawl


text:
I was introduced to this restaurant many years ago while I was working for a Japanese organization. We would often entertain our guests at Santaro at their old premise in Fort Canning. They've since moved to a more convenient location in a business district – at the Amara Hotel.
I was there for lunch with a Japanese ex-colleague. I'd the Combi Lunch Course @ S$40, which includes 2 items from the main, an appetizer, chawanmushi, salad, rice, soup & dessert. While waiting for my course, I'd always order my fave Oyster Mentaiko (カキの明太子焼き) @ S$12/piece.
Do you like Matcha ice-cream? What other Japanese desserts do you like to end your course with?
Santaro Japanese Restaurant
165 Tanjong Pagar Road
#02-26 Amara Hotel Singapore
Tel: +65 6324 8388


text:
As the second year students round the bend into their third month of thesis work, they have found that naming their thesis—right from the second week!—has been a fruitful way to understand their area of inquiry and surfacing their unique point of view. The following names are sure to yet change and evolve, but they do provide a nice glimpse into some of the inquiry:
Presence: How to Use Digital Technology to Live a More Analog Life, by Kathryn McElroy
Mixing with Synantropes: Exploration of Humans and Non-Human Animals' Co-Existence in an Urban Environment, by Rona Binay
Hacking the Orchestra of Life: The Benefits of Harvesting Ambient Energy, by Damon Ahola
The End., by Matthew Barber
Organic Manufacturing: Rethinking the Way we Make Things, by Willy Chan
In the Running: Keeping Your Head and Heart Active in a Sedentary World, by Emi Yasaka
Super: An investigation of the remarkable in the Constructed Environment, by Richard Clarkson
Fashion Conscious: The Practices and Prejudices of Fashion Mass Production, by Mansi Gupta
Whateverest. Reharnessing Peer Pressure to Overcome Apathy, by Charlotta Hellichius
Lucid: Technology and the Scales of Seeing, by Clay Kippen
Mindfulness 3.0: Demystifying Mindfulness and Designing New Strategies for Accessible Participation, by Cassandra Michel
Around: Accessing Relief and Engagement in the Built Environment, by Samantha Moore
The Talk: Facilitating Healthy Conversations About Sex, Before Sex, by Gaïa Orain
Partnership Creation; Neotney is Needed: Why Morale, Momentum & Measure Help Us Navigate a Landscape of Possibilities, by Zena Pesta
The Art of Lesson Design: Supporting the Process Work of Teachers, by Joseph Weissgold


text:
We are at a pivotal time in CELT's history—as an organization and as a contributor to the status of literacy education research and practice in the US and elsewhere in the world. Brian Cambourne is convinced that unless we learn how to use framing theory with the same skill as our adversaries we'll never reclaim the ground we once held.
This REJUV, we will work to
Reclaim our rich history and to
Reframe our future.
Our time together will be spent documenting the stories that bind us as a professional thought collective and family, and beginning a two-stage reframing conversation that will continue at LRA in December, 2016. Brian and others will guide our way. All members will contribute to the program.
Kathy Whitmore & Alan Flurkey


text:
Archangel M is our flagship bottling each year. A beer this important could only be named for Archangel Michael: Patron of the Military, Protector against Evil Forces. In honor of St. Michael, the charity focus of this beer is Veterans. Like Our Country's Heroes, you can be certain Archangel M Tripel can throw down!
The two sides of the sword of Saint Michael are known for representing Truth and Justice. with the 2017 vintage of AMT, we decided to experiment with barrel-aging this amazing Tripel for three months in Heaven Hill whiskey barrels. We love how "2017 AMT: Truth & Justice" turned out and hope you do, as well.
- Style: Barrel-Aged Belgian Tripel
- Charity Focus: Veterans
- Inspiration: St Michael the Archangel
- Vintage: 2017
- Donation Made To: Boulder Crest
- Bottle Size: 750ml
- Cases Made: 30
- Recent Market Price: $75/3-pack*
*Due to extremely limited quantities, these may only be available to case purchasers of 2017 Archangel M Tripel.


text:
I have bought poster collection from AMIstore. Whatever I do trying download it, I got message saying:
"Download Error: the product files have not been found on the server. An error report has been sent to the system administrator for investigation.".
I also wrote to A-EON using AMIsphere web site but until now no reply. Is there any chance to get these posters, maybe try to contact someone else? Someone had similar situation?
Thank you,


text:
Park: Yes
Restrooms: Yes
Boat Dock: Yes
Ample Parking: Yes
Ramp Fee: $4 or $0 (Free)
There are two boat ramps within Lavonia Park. One ramp is $4 with entry into the park. If you keep driving past the park entrance there is a second boat ramp that is free to use. Both ramps are equally good 3-lane ramps with boat docks.
The only advantage we can see to using the one actually inside Lavonia Park is access to one of the nicest parks on Lake Lavon. With that you get access to the restrooms as well which are close to the ramp.
The south boat ramp stays open year round.
Lavonia Park
Lavon, TX 75166
Note: all fees are subject to change without notice. Please check with the parks directly or with the gate attendants for all official pricing.Full Boat Ramp Listings


text:
The Newsletter
Five Meme Fridays
We are in a culture war where our adversaries have lowered the attention span of the average person. Here is some intellectual ammo that you can screenshot and post to social media or share selectively with friends and family. Sometimes a picture… or a meme is worth 1000 words.


text:
Due to popular demand & "good times" we've held over our School-Night-Mondays series in Collingwood at CROW. Bar and Variety for the month of May. Tickets are on sale now. Last month sold out 3 weeks in advance so don't miss out this time. TICKETS HERE > https://snmmay.brownpapertickets.com
What are School Night Mondays? SNM's are hosted by Danny Michel & his band as a relaxed, casual, intimate & early show that takes place in tiny venues across Canada on Monday nights. The band performs music from Danny's 10 album catalogue, test drives new songs, has a surprise guest who performs a few songs with the band and is a guaranteed good time. Come for dinner, a fun show and be home by 9:30pm. Check out a few past surprise guests of 45 sold out nights! https://www.dannymichel.com/school-night-mondays/ Collingwood, Ontario


text:
NOAO > Observing Info > Approved Programs > 2003B-0165
PI: Timothy Beers, Michigan State University, firstname.lastname@example.com
Address: Dept. of Physics & Astronomy, BPS 3268, E. Lansing, MI 48824, USA
CoI: Norbert Christlieb, Hamburger Sternwarte, Hamburg, Germany
CoI: Jaehyon Rhee, Astronomy Dept., Univ. of Virginia
CoI: Sean Ryan, Physics & Astronomy, Open University
CoI: Mike Bessell, Mount Stromlo & Siding Springs Obs., Australia
CoI: Silvia Rossi, IAG, University of Sao Paulo, Brazil
CoI: Brian Marsteller, Physics & Astronomy, Michigan State University
Title: A ``Quick Survey'' for Halo Giants with [Fe/H] \le -2.5
Abstract: We propose to continue our accelerated search for giants in the halo of the Milky Way with [Fe/H] \le -2.5. Our primary motivation for this search are the recent discoveries of several additional ``r-process- enhanced'' stars, similar to the previously unique example of the phenomenon, CS 22892-052 (there are now \bf five known). These stars exhibit r-process/Fe elemental ratios in excess of 30-50 times solar values, and all possess measurable lines of the radioactive species thorium, from which lower limits of the age of the Galaxy can be made. Several of the newly discovered r-process enhanced stars we seek may exhibit measurable U lines. However, it has also become clear that the U and Th abundances in one such star, CS 31082-001, are about 0.4 dex \it higher than other examples of the phenomenon, indicating that our understanding of the operation of the r-process beyond the third r- process peak remains incomplete. Hence, in order to make full use of such stars for cosmochronology, substantially larger samples of these stars are required. High-resolution studies of ~ 300-500 such stars, \bf already underway with the VLT (70 hours in present semester/ similar allocations expected over next 3 semesters), will yield new detections of some 10-15 highly r-process-enhanced stars, opening the door to detailed understanding of the r-process, and for tracing elemental abundance patterns at low metallicity.
National Optical Astronomy Observatory, 950 North Cherry Avenue, P.O. Box 26732, Tucson, Arizona 85726, Phone: (520) 318-8000, Fax: (520) 318-8360
NOAO > Observing Info > Approved Programs > 2003B-0165


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Council works closely with 355c Advisory Committees, who assist in the facilitation and delivery of services. In addition to interagency forums, Council aims to build partnerships across a wide cross section of stakeholders.
Interested community members, groups and service providers are given the opportunity to contribute advice through committees on a range of planning and operational matters.
These forums encourage the sharing of ideas, information and creation of strong partnerships. These forums are generally open to all persons who have an interest in helping make Port Stephens a great place to live.
There are several advisory panels and interagencies run by Council:
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Creative Goal Setting Workshop
Creative Goal Setting Workshop
Your Child Will Learn:
- Personal goal setting skills
- Tools for empowering themselves and others
Your Child Will Walk Away With:
- A strategy for their personal goals for 2018
- A collage of thier goals for 2018 to keep at home
- New friends
Date: Thurs 20 April 2017
Times: 9am – 2pm
Investment: R890 per child
Venue: The Sandton Psychology and Wellness Centre, 268 Bryanston Drive, Bryanston
Our Venue:
We Look Forward To Seeing You At Camp 🙂
Kindly fill out the form below to get started.
About Phil
Phil's passion is to help kids and teenagers to follow their unique destiny and to overcome any life challenges. He uses imaginative, playful games and processes which subconsciously guide the kids to achieving their dreams in a fun and playful manner. These internationally accredited processes have proven to be successful time and time again. Phil Keye believes in having an authentic, trust based relationship with every client.
Phil Keye operates from his private coaching practice in Bryanston, where he coaches kids, teenagers and parents to a point of transfornation. He owns Camp Hero along with his business partner Ricardo Gressel (aka Warrior Ric), where they take kids (ages 8 – 19 years old) on outdoor adventure luxury camps around the country. He also runs kids and teens workshops namely Tools For Life for kids, Slay Your Dragon for kids, The Mastery Club for teenagers, and an adults Fire-walking workshop. Phil Keye and renowned family psychologist Ilze ALberts, co-wrote the Tools for Bullying workshop which Phil Keye has run at 12 schools, locally and abroad. This workshop gives kids practical tools to prevent bullying. Prior to Phil's life coaching career, Phil taught sports for 2 years at Michael Mount Waldorf School, where he had his own cricket, Soccer, Tennis and Rock Climbing teams.
Phil Keye is an internationally qualified ILS Coach and has been on this path of self development and discovery for the since 2004. Phil is also a Professional Firewalking Instructor through the Firewalking Institute of Research and Education.


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251.98 ac totally wooded with some open cleared areas located in the middle of nowhere - private & secluded. If you are looking for privacy this is it. Great hunting property with loads of wildlife of deer, turkey, bear, coon, rabbits, squirrel and more.7 gas wells on the property and 5 are plugged...Sold 251.98 Acres
251.98 Ac, Gas Wells, Great
Allardt : Fentress County : TN
No. 1 Quality Realty


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Flower Trends for 2019
Flower Trends for 2019flowers are an integral part of any event, and especially a high tea, whether it be on the table, hanging from the ceiling or on your head.we begged our resident florist phoebe from harper & grace designs to give us the inside…View More
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The Mistress' Christmas Gift Guide Christmas, yes it has rolled around again, faster than ever. But…. this year I am actually looking forward to it for the first time in a long time.Last year we spent Christmas in Europe travelling so didn't have a super traditional…View More
Pop Up High Teas for 2019
Pop Up High Teas for 2019WE ARE SUPER EXCITED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE ARE BRINGING YOU 12 POP UP HIGH TEA EVENTS FOR 2019 IN SOME TRULY STUNNING LOCATIONS, BOTH IN VIC & THERE IS ONE "ROADTRIP" EVENT.SO, HERE IS WHAT WE CAN SHARE WITH…View More
Top 10 Hens Party Ideas
Top 10 Hens Party Ideaswe enlisted one of our fave friends sam from desilva lining events to give us a low down on her top 10 hens party ideas, and of course she can assist you in making all of these happen. Now that the weather…View More
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Our sophisticated Osuna Bath Mat is designed to last the test of time. Made from 100% cotton, the heavy looped weave forms an inlaid diamond design which is framed with an inverse rectangular border. Super soft with a rich texture underfoot, the Portuguese-made Osuna makes a smart and reliable bathroom accessory, with a unique design and an extra long option for a touch of extra flair.
Construction: Heavy loop weave
Fabric density (weight per m²): 1500 g
Design: Inlaid diamond design with inverse rectangular border
Colour: Charcoal
Made with love in: Guimarães, Portugal
Certification: STANDARD 100 by OEKO-TEX® 5763CIT
Care: Machine wash maximum 30° C, mild process. Do not bleach. Do not iron. Do not dry clean. Tumble drying possible at lower temperature (maximum 60° C)
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Source: "Love thy neighbor as thy self." Matthew 22:39
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Source: "Love thy neighbor as thy self." Matthew 22:39
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Lord, open our lips, and our mouth shall proclaim your praises.
This Easter began beautifully on the beach, where nature was as elegant as scripture in defining the moment.
Christ the Lord is risen today—Al-le-lu-ia!
Earth and Heaven in chorus say—Al-le-lu-ia!
Bounce was delighted to build in the sand throughout the service. He proudly recreated Jesus' tomb. Children everywhere dug their toes into the sand and built crosses, tombs and raised small toys from the dead.
As Scooter later said, "That was the best church service ever!"
But where was the Easter bunny?
Hiding eggs and spreading joy with the help of the Peep Patrol
And with the clang of the bell, they were off!
After singing, prayer and egg hunts, we all settled into our own pursuits.
Scooter counted Bunnies
Two quotes I particularly enjoyed today from this 14th century monastic work are,
If you consider what peace a good life will bring to yourself and what joy it will give to others, I think you will therefore be more concerned about your spiritual progress.
And, Keep an eye primarily upon yourself, and admonish yourself instead of your friends.
Let Me Count the Days: Homeschooling is, As it was in the beginning, is now, and forever shall be.. Amen.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: Easter, homeschool, homeschooling, inspiration, spiritual progress | Leave a comment »
Last saturday, two teams competed in the Destination Imagination state competition. In case you haven't read my previous posts on the subject, Destination Imagination is an international problem-solving and teamwork competition. Each year, thousands of teams (composed of seven members) can choose to solve one of six annual "challenges," each one focusing on a different skill set: technical engineering, science, fine arts, improvisation, structural engineering, or community service. The teams work together to adress certain requirements and present their solutions in the form of eight-minute skits. They cannot have adult help developing ideas, writing scripts, or creating props. At a regional, state, or global tournament, teams present their skits (which count for 75% of their final score) and also compete in "Instant Challenges" which test their ability to think on their feet by requiring the completion of unexpected timed tasks (such as building a tower or writing a quick performance). Instant Challenges make up the remaining 25% of their score.
Our middle school level team, the Wonderland Booksavers, chose to complete in the community service-based challenge: "Project Outreach: Real to Reel." For this challenge, they had to work together to adress a community need. They also had to create a short documentary film about their project.
In their performance, they were required to showcase their film, review their project, and participate in a simulated press conference, where they answered questions about the experience. The team, which sprung out of an informal book club, chose to donate used books to those in need. They donated over 5000 books to places within the US (such as Bridgeport, Connecticut and Appalachia) and to places across the globe (including Haiti and South Africa.) They also donated teddy bears and new books to survivors of the Newtown shooting.
The team won first place in their challenge and age level.
Our high school-level team, Team I.C.E. (Imagine. Create. Empower.), competed in the science-based challenge, "Wind Visible." They were required to research wind energy, and incorporate this knowledge into a skit about an invisible visitor, who, like the wind, cannot be seen but sets something in motion. They had to create kinetic art powered by the wind and designate two additional items that they did especially well on ("Team Choice Elements") for score.
The team's skit was about the inhabitants of a coral reef (two jellyfish, a sea serpent, a mermaid, and a school of fish) who, with the help of the Great Wind Spirit, build a wind-powered lighthouse to ensure that sailors will no longer crash into the surrounding coastline. They are motivated by their invisible visitor, the ghost of a sailor who drowned there. The team worked especially hard to build creative props and costumes, including a haunted shipwreck, an ocean backdrop and coral reef, jellyfish made from umbrellas, and a mermaid tail covered in scales that were really foil cupcake liners and gold and silver candy wrappers.
Both teams qualified to compete in the Global Finals, held every year at the University of Tennessee in Knoxville. Over 1200 teams, who qualified at state, province, or national finals, are expected to participate in this week-long celebration of creativity this year. The Wonderland Booksavers and Team I.C.E. are very excited to be a part of the event. Meanwhile, they'll continue to meet to practice Instant Challenges, repair props, tweak their performance, and rehearse.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: community service, Destination Imagination, science, Team ICE, theater, Wonderland BookSavers | Leave a comment »
The really and truly beginning of school has begun. All the plans are behind us and now our efforts will be transformed into hard facts: some successful, some not-so-successful.
I am awake at dawn so I can savor a few minutes of quiet. At this exact minute everything is clean, organized and well, sort of perfect: perfectly quiet.
Like stockings which are hung by the chimney with care, our books and our schoolwork are quietly waiting, the ensuing chaos as inevitable as Christmas morning.
This may be heaven but it is certainly not homeschooling.
Our homeschooling family, when it awakes, will be loud, boisterous, obstreperous, untidy, demanding and…most of all, excited to start the new school year.
Wait a minute, I think I hear them now!
In actuality, our first few days of school have been rewardingly peaceful, organized and productive. Whew!
We are, so far successfully, using Debra Bell's student planners. I met with each student in my new "office." They loved having private time in a comfortable space. We established individual goals, both personal and academic. Then each student completed their planner with subjects and specific assignments due for each day of the next several weeks. At first they felt that this was double work, writing down the assignments as well as completing them. Imagine! However, now they are gratefully ticking off their tasks and calling me to, "hurry up and come sign off on my assignment!" each time something is done. This simple system provides me with plenty of checkpoints to both supervise and review their work. Happily, it seems to be fostering independence and task completion as well.
Bounce is hard at work on Saxon Math 5/4 this year. I recently discovered a great (free) program called Big Brainz, http://www.bigbrainz.com. This three-dimensional game reinforces multiplication and division facts while exploring castles and dungeons populated with monsters and dinosaurs. Bounce elected to use his break to play this game. It is the best one of its kind that I have seen.
Truth began by reading A Single Shard, by Linda Sue Park. He was suspicious of this book because others had already read it. What made us think that he would like it? He will now freely admit that he is really enjoying the book.
My first days also included attending a parent orientation to Stanford University's Online High School. This school represents true diversity (as opposed to "manufactured diversity") in its student population.
Like many traditional families, we began school with a haircut, straight out of the 1950's. Here is Scooter, getting his haircut by the same barber who cut his father's hair on his first day of school.
Scooter has now officially started Kindergarten, which he is attending at a local school. I love teaching kindergarten, but I also appreciate the advantages of structure and discipline, especially the first few years.
Scooter feels like a big boy as he gets on the school bus (all by himself!) each morning, leaving all his big brothers behind.
And thus the adventure begins…
Let Me Count the Days: Homeschooling is each of us doing what works best for ourselves, while maintaining our family and community centered lifestyle.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: education, homeschool, homeschooling, inspiration, Saxon math | 4 Comments »
It is that time again, the time when structure yields freedom. Or when freedom must yield to structure.
All through our long, wonderful and carefree summer, I have been planning and organizing. I have cleaned our schoolroom, filed our papers and redistributed the books. I have reviewed various programs, met with my fellow homeschool mothers and debated the merits and pitfalls of specific options. Finally the choices were made, the new books ordered, the desks cleaned one last time. Each week as I became more enamored with summer, I have found myself relentlessly marching toward fall.
This year I am using Debra Bell's Ultimate Homeschool Planner as my personal support system. I love the way this book encourages me to plan for the year, establishing academic and personal goals for every member of the family. Each goal is then broken into bite-sized pieces and redistributed across the weeks. Debra has built in discussion times (2x/week!) with each child to review goals and encourage progress. This system really guides our family to work both together and independently to achieve our goals.
A favorite friend, visiting from Paris, helped to organize my best intentions into a scheduled reality. With some input from myself, and the Happymess students, she came up with a schedule that seems to work. The kids are happy to know exactly what is expected of them and I am glad to see all the key subjects making a permanent appearance on the daily schedule.
Miraculously, I have been given the most amazing gift: a private study. This previously unusable and cluttered space has been transformed with navy paint and donated furniture. Happymess kids are as happy as I am that we will now have a quiet place for private discussions, goal setting and frustration resolution.
And so, as we march inexorably toward September, we have cleaned, planned, arranged and scheduled. We are up to the challenge and excited to begin anew. A well-organized homeschool liberates our minds and souls to pursue higher learning and personal dreams.
Let Me Count the Days: Homeschooling is finding that structure can set us free.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: education, homeschool, homeschool schedules, homeschooling, school schedules | 7 Comments »
Summer is our favorite season. The weather is warm and wild and thus prohibitive of difficult endeavors. Freedom reigns.
Each person is free, like the wildflowers, to grow in any direction and to follow the sunshine of their dreams.
Happymess kids begin the summer with a trip to the zoo and a greenhouse.
The plastic gorilla is even more fun!
The Fourth of July was shared with friends and family. Watching shards of light sparkle and reflect across the ocean waves is spectacular.
This summer Scooter got his first set of wheels. He is finally able to ride to the library, church, candy store and beach with his brothers! This is surely the high point of Scooter's summer.
For the first time, Truth and Quantum left home to spend a week living in the woods. We missed them, but loved coming up for the closing bonfire.
Athena traveled most of this summer. We did manage to catch up with her long enough to enjoy kayaking on the lake together.
Oddly, perhaps, most of our summer was spent reading.
We read long, complicated historical novels like Anna Karenina by Tolstoy and fun, short books like Flat Stanley by Jeff Brown. We read intriguing children's books like A Single Shard by Sue Parks and we read Bob Books as we struggled to teach Scooter some basic reading skills.
One of our favorite activities is the Library Summer Reading Program. Bounce and Scooter race to the library everyday to record the new number of hours they read. They average 2-3 hours per day.
We allow Scooter to count his pre-reading activities towards his reading total.
One of the fun aspects of summer is that everyone enjoys the whimsy. Here is the ceiling of our favorite summer diner.
Bounce loves art. I am not a big fan of scraping paint off the floor so summer and art and I are best friends. Bounce created an outdoor studio where he can paint whenever he likes.
As summer comes to its inevitable end, I begin organizing, arranging and planning for the unsentimental months ahead. Here we have all the un-owned shoes looking for new feet so they can attend school next month. I managed to find several pairs each for Bounce and Scooter.
And so the month of August draws to a close and we must finally say, "So long sweet summer." What a wonderful interlude it has been.
Let Me Count the Days: Homeschooling is the freedom to dream, create and cherish the unscheduled and the free.
Filed under: Field Trips, Literature, Uncategorized | Tagged: boy scouts, classic children's literature, education, field trips, homeschool, homeschooling, kids, literature, reading, summer vacation | 5 Comments »
Here, as everywhere, we have some very hungry kids. They are learning to cook and they love it. They love being able to choose the food, cook it themselves and then serve their "creation" to the family. We find that when the kids choose the meal they are concerned about preparing something healthy and balanced. They take responsibility for choosing foods that are both delicious and healthy.
Scooter is so excited today. He screamed, "It's my cooking day and I am cooking Chinese!" He studied the Chinese New Year in nursery school, wore a dragon costume and practiced eating with chopsticks. Since then he wants every meal to be Chinese. I sliced the beef but Scooter marinated the beef and is stir frying it himself in the wok. He also has rice boiling in a separate pot.
Cooking in a wok is the perfect choice for a young child. It is safe, easy and allows the child to create a sophisticated meal for the family. I bought the vegetables pre-sliced and chopped at the grocery store. These are a little more expensive but enable Scooter to do all the "cooking" himself.
Scooter just needs to add the vegetables, one at a time, and stir. He feels like the worlds best chef.
A beautiful family meal prepared by Scooter, age 5.
And yes, he loves his vegetables.
The competition is fierce and Bounce is eager to have his turn. First words of the day, "It's my cooking day today!" He is making another kid-easy meal. He is sautéing sliced chicken (pre-cut) in butter. He will add all his own spices. He is also cooking spinach cheese tortellini and corn-on-the-cob. These are easy as all you need to do is boil water. He will later add pesto sauce to the tortellini. Delicious.
Bounce is particularly concerned about dessert. He knows that a good dinner should include a great dessert and he is determined to bake and decorate his own cake. He tries to keep it a surprise from his older brothers and sisters but they can smell the wonderful warm sugary smell of cake throughout the house.
Bounce's dinner is a great success, and so is his cake!
Let Me Count the Days: Homeschooling is teaching all of life's skills and teaching the joy of serving others.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: cooking with kids, easy meals for kids, homeschool, homeschooling, teaching kids to cook | 1 Comment »


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The goal of this session is to help Internationally Educated Medical Laboratory Technologists prepare for the Canadian Society for Medical Laboratory Science (CSMLS) National Examination.
Attend this session if you are a Medical Laboratory Technologist who is considering taking the CSMLS National Examination and would like some guidance on how to prepare.
|To be determined
|To be determined
HealthForceOntario Marketing and Recruitment Agency
163 Queen Street East, 2nd Floor
Toronto, ON M5A 1S1
Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.com. Please provide in your email:
You will receive a confirmation email once you are signed up for the session.
Space is limited!
Visit our Resources for Internationally Educated Health Professionals in Ontario page for other resources that you might find helpful.


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Huge Hello Everyone!
Well what a week!
at the moment I'm sitting in a mess of a craft/study room
Justin and I are in the midst of doing a MASSIVE clean/organize
But with the idea of a super organized area I'm really excited to get into so
Art and create some of my ideas :)
Tafe has been really full on, but really loven the brain work and
balancing my creative mind and my logic fairly well...
I'm super excited too about this week as i have two Ultra AMAZING
events happen
first i was really really lucky to score a spot
in the "She had three Hearts" workshop with Christy Tomlinson
as she was having a sale and i was able to squeeze the budget for $25.00!
to my amazement i also receive access too the "Creative colour" workshop
i have also been eye off!
WOOHOO! $25.00 for two workshops..
so so lucky! Thank you Christy!! MWHA!
Now if this wasn't exciting enough i have some really BIG BIG BIG BIG News!
I have been Accepted to be a Designer Team Member at
A Piece of Cake Designs!!!
OMG! How amazing is that!!
As you all know i just LOVE Kits!
and to be chosen for this Design team i will show the world
how easy and fun it is to work with a well designed kit!
If you haven't heard about A piece of Cake Designs
its a new Scrapbooking Kits Store
that supplies you with limited monthly kits..
but these kits are different to any other on the market
these kits are made with a lot of love and attention for detail
As Raquel is the owner and Kit designer you can imagine what
delish colour and texture combos you will be receiving every month..
The papers are handpicked from varies companies and are match together with colours and
unique and scrumptious embellishments
If this is not enough for you to be inspired
each month one of the Design Team will be creating you a recipe
to help you whip up your own layout!
as well as weekly creations to keep you inspired and
creating :)
SO you really have to watch this space to see the first kit unveiling...
5th March for the March Kit...
If you Love giveaways then you need to know about
A Piece of Cake Design
Kit Giveaway!!
How Cool it that!!
so pop over to the site and get into the loop!
and you'll never miss any other the action!!
and you could win!!
speaking about winning have you signed up for my monthly giveaway??
the month is nilly at a end and I'll be drawing a winner on the 1st week of March
so follow the link and pop your name down to be in to win
this Feb Giveaway
Now with all this excitement i am surprised i even got any scrappen done...lol
But i did! i was able to get in one layout that has been giving me a little grief
I think it was the pink that really had me up in arms..just took me a while to balance it
But i really wanted to take this challenge from 123 challenge
1. Word "free or fresh"
2. the colour "FUCHSIA"
3. "FRAYING or FRILLS
And this is what i came up with ...
Free spirit at heart
1. Word "free or fresh"
2. the colour "FUCHSIA"
3. "FRAYING or FRILLS
And this is what i came up with ...
Free spirit at heart
As you can see i have gottin into my paints and stamps and made a real mess...lol
I have also used some of my Eye Candy Magic embellishments
and Rainbow Splendor pinwheel! so Cute!
Thanks for the inspiration 123 Challenge!
Now i really must fly, i have to get some homework done before work this afternoon
My aim is to finish my homework so i can jump into some fimo...
After work...after the house is finished getting clean...lol
Well you know what i mean...lol
Hope you all have a lovely weekend filled with LOADS of creative fun!


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Welcome to our website! As we have the ability to list over one million items on our website (our selection changes all of the time), it is not feasible for a company our size to record and playback the descriptions on every item on our website. However, if you have a disability we are here to help you. Please call our disability services phone line at 405-330-4554 during regular business hours and one of our kind and friendly personal shoppers will help you navigate through our website, help conduct advanced searches, help you choose the item you are looking for with the specifications you are seeking, read you the specifications of any item and consult with you about the products themselves. There is no charge for the help of this personal shopper for anyone with a disability. Finally, your personal shopper will explain our Privacy Policy and Terms of Service, and help you place an order if you so desire.
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Auburn Poplar Finish Trey Modular Filing Cabinet
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House Blend Collection


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Like all of the productions in the prolific Franco/Dietrich collaborative cannon (most of which are represented in Full Moon's limited edition Jess Franco DVD Collection), WOMEN IN CELLBLOCK 9 is a visually lush, erotic and explicit exploitation masterwork, armed with exotic locations, weird performances and a great, dreamy score by composer Walter Baumgartner.
Full Moon is proud to present this revered Jess Franco classic in a digitally remastered and restored and completely uncut transfer struck directly from Dietrich's own archival negative. Not for the easily offended (but what Franco film is?), WOMEN IN CELLBLOCK 9 is an essential trash movie gem not to be missed!
WOMEN IN CELLBLOCK 9 is available on Special Edition DVD on February 21, for rental or purchase on the Full Moon Amazon Channel and via Full Moon Streaming beginning February 8.
Extras on the DVD include:
*Franco, Bloody Franco: An Interview with Jess Franco (Spanish with English Subtitles)
*Vintage Jess Franco Trailer Reel