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Help for Baby Blues and Postpartum Depression (PPD)
Bringing a new baby into the family can be challenging at the best of times, both physically and emotionally. It is natural for new parents to experience mood swings, feeling joyful one minute and depressed the next. These feelings are sometimes known as the "baby blues," and often go away soon after birth. However, some parents may experience a deep and ongoing depression that lasts much longer. This is called postpartum depression.
Who is affected?
Postpartum depression can affect anyone. Although it's more commonly reported by mothers, it can affect any new parents—both moms and dads—and it can affect parents who adopt
- 12% to 28% of women in the postpartum period
- 30-50% of women with a history of depression will develop postpartum depression
- 50-70% will have a recurrence of postpartum depression with their next pregnancy
- 10% of men will experience depression during the postnatal period.
Postpartum Blues or "Baby Blues"
The baby blues are SO COMMON that they are actually considered normal.
4 in 5 mothers will have postpartum blues.
This starts within a few days of delivery and may last up to three weeks. Mothers may experience tearfulness, sadness, moodiness, irritability, worrying.
You may feel that being a mom will always be like this. Don't worry, things will get better, and quite quickly, too.
How do you feel? Are you or your partner suffering from any of the following since the birth of the baby?
If you're suffering from the Baby Blues, you may:
- Feel sad or low and weepiness or crying for no apparent reason
- Feel irritable or impatient
- Feel exhausted
- Feel overwhelmed
- Have changes in your sleeping or eating patterns (Insomnia- even when the baby is sleeping)
- Experience mood changes
Postpartum Depression (PPD)
PPD can start within four weeks and up to one year after birth. PPD is likely caused by many different factors that work together, including family history, biology, personality, life experiences, and the environment (especially sleep deprivation)
Symptoms may include:
- Loss of pleasure/lack of interest
- Low energy/persistent fatigue
- Crying
- Feelings of guilt or worthlessness
- Poor concentration, poor decision making
- Sleep and appetite changes
- Intense anxiety or agitation
- Irritability, anger
- Feeling overwhelmed
- You may or may not have thoughts of harming self or baby, thinking "the world or your baby's life would be better without you in it."
Early recognition and prompt treatment benefits the whole family.
Postpartum depression can be a very difficult experience. Becoming a new parent is hard enough—and the challenges added by depression can seem overwhelming. It's important to remember that there is no such thing as a perfect pregnancy, perfect birth, perfect baby, or perfect parent. You are doing the best you can. And with care and support, you can recover and enjoy time with your family.
Many women will not be diagnosed or treated. Symptoms will be blamed on lack of sleep, hormones or demands of the new baby. Women often stay silent because they feel guilty.
What can you do to feel better?
- Be kind to yourself
- Let's talk about feelings! or, talk about feelings with someone you trust
- Its okay to have negative feelings about parenting
- Try to rest when baby sleeps or get close to eight hours of sleep a day as you can
- Have some healthy snacks and get some help with meal prep
- Get out of the house everyday to fresh air and some light physical exercise like walking.
- Practice relaxation, even if it's a few minutes with your feet up or a quick breath of fresh air
- Have time for yourself away from the baby
- Try to avoid caffeine/ alcohol
- Try to met with other new mothers/parents
How dads and other supporters can help?
Be aware that many of the stressors and problems you experience during the period of postnatal depression may not be indicative of your relationship, but they are consequences of the illness.
- Encourage her to talk to you about how she feels
- Help remind her that it's not her fault and she's not a bad mother
- Remind her how much you care
- Share in home and child-care responsibilities
- Accept help from friends and family
- If she's not ready for sex again yet, be physically affectionate and maintain intimacy in other ways…… or maybe cook and do the dishes AND let her go shower so she has the energy to WANT to be intimate
- Take care of yourself. Find time out for yourself (other than at work), find someone to talk to, continue to follow some of your own interests, and be aware of your own needs.
Always trust your instincts. If you become more concerned about your partner's wellbeing or that of your children, or notice any worsening of your partner's symptoms, it might mean you need to contact her doctor or support services directly to let them know or to seek advice.
For example, if your partner shows any of the following signs:
- Talk of harming herself or the baby
- Bizarre thoughts or speech patterns, or risk- taking behaviour
- Behaviour that seems odd or is out of character
- Severe change in mood
- Obsession with morbid ideas, or statements like "You'd be better off without me."
- Withdrawal from all social contact
Do you need more help?
Contact a community organization, mental health association, or your family doctor to learn more about support and resources in your area. If you can, take your partner or a friend with you for moral support and remember, these health professionals are there to listen and have the knowledge and skills to help you get better.
- Your family doctor
- Your obstetrician or midwife
- A social worker at your hospital
- Ask for a medical referral to a psychiatrist
- As well as speaking to a health professional, you may find it helpful to talk to an understanding and sympathetic member of your family or friend about how you are feeling
- You may find it helpful to be open and honest with other new moms. they may be feeling similar and you can have mutual support
Postpartum Psychosis
- Postpartum psychosis is VERY RARE and occurs in 1/1000 births. It usually occurs in the first few weeks after birth. Mothers may:
- Feel confused and out of touch from reality
- Have intense thoughts of harming themselves or the baby
- Hear or see things that are not there
- Believe people or things are going to harm you or your baby
If you have any of these feelings or thoughts, don't wait, don't be embarrassed. Get help right away. Call your Doctor now, go to your local hospital's emergency department, or call a crisis intervention line.


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Home Posts Tagged "Abrazo Community Health Network"
Abrazo Community Health Network building new microhospital in Mesa
Jun 22nd, 2018 · Comments:
When the new Abrazo Mesa microhospital opens, it will include a 12-bed emergency department, an operating room and eight inpatient rooms, along with additional services, according to a press release. The facility will focus on providing emergency and lower acuity inpatient procedures as part of Abrazo's continuum of care. The facility is at 5750 E. […]

subset: commoncrawl


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Waterville Valley Academy coach, Dan Shuffleton, recently posted a video profile of student/athlete Tim Ryan.
>> Video: Waterville Valley Presents Tim Ryan
This piece is one in a series of videos created by Shuffleton to introduce to us to some of the athletes at Waterville Valley Academy/BBTS Snowsports Club and to promote the training opportunities in Waterville Valley.
Learn more about enrolling in the Waterville Valley Academy or training with the team by emailing Dan Shuffleton.


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Year 13 pupil Ciara Mathers recently won the Ballycastle Youth Rotary Leadership Competition. Her prize was a trip to Strasburg where she visited the European Parliament buildings along with 30 other young people from all over Ireland. Ciara participated in several debates relating to equality and human rights issues. Below is Ciara's summary of her wonderful experience. Thank you to Mrs McCallum and Ballycastle Rotary Club for all the support given to Ciara in her preparation and on the trip.
On the 11th February I set off with 30 other young people from all over Northern Ireland to take part in a very memorable trip to Strasburg. Our first stop was Stormont. We met with several MLA's and caught a glimpse of Teresa May and Leo Varadkar as they were visiting amid the crisis talks which have been taking place.
Next stop was Dublin where we visited the European Parliament office. We listened to several members of the Irish Government tell us about their role and responsibilities. We then flew from Dublin to Frankfurt where we stayed the night. We had the opportunity to sight see and soak up the amazing culture on offer in the city.
From Frankfurt we drove to Strasburg. On Thursday we visited the European Parliament. We were given specific topics to research beforehand and now had the opportunity to debate specific issues with others from 23 countries all over the world. The varying opinions and ideas shared was staggering. We had translators present for English, German, Spanish and French. We also had the opportunity to meet several members of the European Parliament.
This trip has had a very positive impact on my understanding and appreciation of different political systems and views. I now have a much deeper appreciation of what happens in the EU and how it can have an effect on us. It was a particularly interesting time to visit given the Brexit situation. I have also met many new friends and we have all been keeping in touch.
I would like to thank Ballycastle Rotary, Meg Healy, Philip Beggs and Criona O'Reilly for giving me such an amazing opportunity, I am very grateful.


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Open Awards were in attendance at Liverpool Town Hall on Tuesday 26th June 2018, to see the students of Abbots Lea School, Bankview School and Sandfield Park School receive their Open Awards Qualifications in Independent Travel Training.
Launched in 2015 by Liverpool City Council, the Independent Travel Training Service, which offers Open Awards Entry Level 2 and Entry Level 3 Independent Travel Training qualifications, helps SEND students gain the experience and confidence to travel to and from school, college and eventually work confidently, positively and independently. Since the service was launched in the city region it has grown in strength and numbers, with the presentation ceremony featuring over fifty students receiving qualifications and certificates.
The ceremony was opened by Director of Children & Young People's Service, Steve Reddy who highlighted the importance of the qualification and the extremely positive impact it has upon the student's lives.
Councillor Barbara Murray presented the students with their qualifications before we were treated to first-hand testimonials from students who told of the confidence boosting and life changing experience the Independent Travel Training Service has provided.
The Open Awards Entry Level Award in Skills for Travelling in the Community (Entry 2) has been designed and structured to give SEND students the skills and ability to travel confidently within their community and beyond.
For more information on ITT or Open Awards please click here.


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The research is clear – what happens in the first five years of life dramatically impacts what happens in the rest of a child's life. Both longitudinal studies and brain research substantiate that strong foundations in the earliest years set the stage for children to be successful in school and later in life.
However, approximately 18,000 children in Douglas and Sarpy counties under the age of five live in families of low income. Research suggests these children are at risk of starting school significantly behind their peers who come from families with more resources.
Education for single moms
Single mothers often face some of the greatest challenges in raising their children. especially teenage mothers, especially when they dropped out of a high school. We support teen moms and help them get a high school equivalency diploma through online prep courses.
Therefore, we teamed up with the Single Moms Club organized by the GED prep website Bestgedclasses.org to help single moms graduate with a degree and become self-supporting after a while. The website offers free GED practice tests and prep and the moms we guide will use the website's online classes while Bestgedclasses pays for the GED testing fee as well, a generous offer.
Recognizing both the research and the need, Early Childhood Services (ECS) serves as a comprehensive, integrated system of early care and education that provides children from families of low income the opportunities to establish a strong foundation for learning. You may also wonder if your local school is actually the best school for your child. Look beyond your neighborhood and who knows. You may find the perfect solution just a little further.
We understand that going back to school and being a teenage mom requires an incredible amount of physical, emotional, mental and spiritual energy and we dedicated to supporting single mom in their quest for education. The most important work you will ever do is that of raising a healthy and well child. More financial aid and education grants are available to women considered to be single mothers.
Enable parents to be their child's first effective teacher
The leaders of Child Saving Institute, Lutheran Family Services, Nebraska Children's Home Society, Visiting Nurse Association and Heartland Family Service have established a collaborative and integrated strategy utilizing BBF-ECS as the central point of intake and referral to connect babies born into families of low-income with targeted services and supports.
This collaboration also focuses on serving low-income male and female pregnant and parenting teens who have not yet graduated from high school by providing free intensive support services and parenting education. See also this post about charter schools.
Provide effective early learning experiences for children at risk
ECS is partnering with eight existing private child care providers to enhance and support the quality of care for 500 children. Providers receive individualized support through ECS coaching specialists and existing community resources who offer professional development, mental health consultation, and post-secondary scholarships. ECS, alongside the Early Childhood Training Center, Munroe-Meyer Institute, and T.E.A.C.H. Early Childhood Nebraska, a project of NeAEYC, are striving to meet this goal.
Promote healthy growth and development of children at risk
ECS is working in coordination with health care providers and Healthy Futures on the School-Based Health Centers to ensure that children from birth to 5 years of age from families with low income have access to appropriate comprehensive care that meets their vision, hearing, oral health, behavioral/mental health, and nutritional needs.
ECS is also working in close partnership with Kid Squad to support parents, child care providers, and other early childhood professionals who are seeking help with the social, emotional and behavioral issues of early childhood. After all, the beauty of good education cannot be overestimated!
Provide at-risk children the opportunity to participate in high-quality early childhood programs
The cost of delivering high-quality early childhood programs is prohibitive for families with limited resources, and the child care subsidy provided to families of low income does not cover the cost of a quality program.
The need exists to cover the difference in child care subsidy payments and the actual cost of the program to make it possible for the children who most need the highest quality early childhood program to participate in such programs.


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NASA's InSight lander is on its way to Mars
It's the first NASA mission that will study the Martian interior.
Broken wheels won't stop Curiosity from exploring Mars
The lonesome robot is showing signs of aging.
A newsletter a day keeps the FOMO at bay.
Now available on your smart speaker and wherever you get your podcasts: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | iHeart Radio
Now available on your smart speaker and wherever you get your podcasts: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Play | iHeart Radio
Mars is much drier than expected
You can forget about finding life on the Red Planet's surface.
ICYMI: The ESA's mission to Mars launches next week
Get your Jiffy Pop ready.
ICYMI: Brightest X-ray laser, 3D printing cartilage and more
Drawing in 3D just got weird.
ICYMI: The Martian colony plan, simulated rat brain and more
NASA reveals the detailed plan to get us to colonization on Mars in today's ICYMI.
Visualized: Curiosity rover's self-portrait
No, Disney isn't working on Wall-E the live action movie. Pictured above is a self-portrait of NAS...
NASA's Curiosity rover checks in on Foursquare, gives Mars its first mayor
Yes, seriously. NASA announced on Wednesday that its Curiosity rover had "checked in" on Mars via...
Rovio takes Angry Birds Space for a spin with NASA's Curiosity Mars Rover, teases Red Planet for fall (video)
It was almost as inevitable as gravity, really. Rovio has teamed up with NASA to offer a special,...


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Garrett 74, Butler CCC 70
BUTLER, Pa. – Tyshira Joplin scored a team-high 20 points Saturday as the Lady Lakers (2-6) snapped a six-game losing streak.
Joplin added 5 rebounds and 3 steals. She also passed out 2 assists.
Jada Maxwell (14 points, 7 rebounds, 3 blocked shots) and G'Vahn Pace (12 points, 5 assists, 3 steals) also scored in double figures for GC. Sharatia Jefferson had a game-high 5 steals and a team-high 10 rebounds to go with her 7 points.
Shania Gales came off the bench to score 6 points and dish out a game-high 12 assists while hauling down 7 rebounds for the Lady Lakers.
Makenzie Craig notched game highs in points (24) and rebounds (15) for Butler, which also received 22 points and a team-high 8 assists from Casey Kretzer. Carly Burdett (12 points, 5 assists, 3 steals) was the third BCCC player in double figures.
The Lady Lakers play Friday at 5 p.m. at Bryant & Stratton (Ohio) College.
CCBC-Catonsville 79, GC 72
CATONSVILLE, Md. – Lady Laker Jada Maxwell had a team-high 18 points and 8 rebounds last Thursday in a Maryland Junior College Athletic Conference road loss.
Sharatia Jefferson (16 points, 9 rebounds) and Tyshira Joplin (15 points) also reached double figures for GC, but no other Lady Laker scored more than Teyaurra Harris' 6 points.


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Dear Parishioners & Visitors,
Two weeks ago we held the yearly Ministry Fair for the parish. After we were done and the volunteers left, one unanswered question remained in my mind. I knew the volunteers had put in long hours and had done their best to invite parishioners to join one of the many parish ministries. I realized it was not because of their lack of enthusiasm, but could we call the Ministry Fair a success?
Every Christian community rests on the shoulders of a few, most of them volunteers, who are willing to provide for the needs of many. Their efforts are at the heart of every parochial activity. Their generosity in sharing their time and talent proclaim to all of us their liberality and their love for the Lord and this community.
This Sunday's Gospel reading reminds all of us of the many gifts bestowed upon us by the Lord. Nobody can claim that they have not been gifted. Certainly not all have been gifted in an equal manner; but all of us, without exception have been gifted in one way or another. The Lord is always splendid with those who love Him.
The Gospel this Sunday challenges us to think about how we can administer the gifts we have received. Do we make them profitable or do we, like the insecure man in the Gospel, bury them; afraid of not knowing what to do with them?
Christ Jesus became the servant of all, so that we would know how to become servants. Ministries within a Christian community become the measure of our love and commitment to the Lord. The imitation of Christ is always an imitation of his service. True devotion is always reflected in the love and service we share with others.
Let us not be timid in responding to the call of the Lord. Do we listen to the call or do we run away from it? We have all been gifted; let us share the treasure of those gifts with our brothers and sisters, knowing that whatever we do for them, we are doing for the Lord.
-fr. Alberto Rodriguez, O.P.


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Circle Leadership
Vol 3
- Section 1: At The Well Leadership
- Section 2: Stepping Up to Lead
- Section 3: Facilitator Pro-Tips
- Section 4: Facilitating in Different Modalities
- Section 5: Finding Your Inner Facilitator
At The Well
Volume 3, Section 1
Well Circles call for a special kind of leadership — rotating and shared. The rotating leadership model gives every Well Circle member the opportunity to find her voice, develop her style as a leader, and take a turn holding space for the group. We believe this rotating model is the female style of leadership: collaborative, decentralized, and collective.
As a global network, At The Well supports personal growth within community. A community is a group of people with a shared mission. Through realizing that mission together, the group generates a shared sense of belonging and personal investment in the wellbeing of the community.
The rotating leadership model creates community in its truest sense. Because everyone takes a turn to lead, the model generates belonging through common experience and a sense of safety. From there, we feel emboldened to take risks and get creative when it's time to lead.
The rotating leadership model also helps each woman feel more connected to Self and able to identify what she wants to offer or teach. In a Well Circle, you experience leadership with the support and modeling of a whole team of women who are backing you up. This support makes your Well Circle an ideal space to take risks, step into leadership, voice your visions, and grow.
We encourage the rotating model because it gives us the opportunity to feel more equipped, willing, and confident taking on leadership roles in our Well Circles, and beyond.
The Roles
To make each Well Circle meeting smooth and successful, we suggest splitting the responsibilities of running a Well Circle meeting into two distinct roles:
The Host creates the physical container by welcoming people into her home; she sets up the space in a special way, maybe providing food and drink. She supports the Facilitator in whatever she needs to create a meaningful meeting.
The Facilitator designs and leads that month's Well Circle meeting. She creates the content of the evening, preparing and facilitating the activity/activities. She communicates with and supports the Host, especially by encouraging Well Circle members to pitch in to clean up. The meeting is the Facilitator's moment to shine, find her voice, and step up to lead.
Of course, the other essential role in a Well Circle is that of the Participant. You're a Participant at every Well Circle meeting *except* for the one(s) when you're acting as the Host or Facilitator. You hold a lot of power at these times.
The Participant shows up at her Well Circle meeting present and attentive. If the Facilitator or Host asked participants to do something beforehand — like bring a poem, prepare dish, or wear a certain color — the Participant is ready and onboard. She's open to being held by the Facilitator and ready to honor the Facilitator's leadership style and plan for the meeting, without judgement.
Each month, a new leader will bring a different facilitation style and a different comfort level with leading to your Well Circle. As you observe and experience different leadership styles, a few things to keep in mind:
- Honor the less confident facilitators in your group as they step into this new role and find their power. Not everyone is comfortable sharing her ideas in a group setting, or facilitating others from her skills and passions. There are so many different ways people can lead, and different leadership styles. Even if it's not how you'd lead, offer space and take time for each Well Circle member to do her thing in her own way.
- Once a year (or more if you have a Circle smaller than 12 people) when it's your turn to facilitate, prepare and show up like you mean it — with courage and vulnerability.
- On your facilitating month, consider sharing something outside the subject areas you know inside out. Use this Circle as an opportunity to flex, experiment, and explore topics that you're interested in, but don't know much about. (Find inspiration in our Moon Manuals as well as Packet 5: Modalities and Packet 6: Rituals from this set.) All of these approaches will help you grow as a leader.
Stepping Up To Lead
Volume 3, Section 2
You don't have to have any "ideal" qualities or outstanding qualifications, solid certainties, or exceedingly wise insights to be a leader. It takes some courage, but leadership can be learned.
With Well Circles, we're striving to create communities and sacred spaces where members grow and feel safe. To make that magic happen, strive to be a vulnerable leader rather than a venerable one. The time for you to lead is also the time for you to be honest and open about your uncertainties, fears, or questions. If you're feeling anxious in the days or weeks leading up to facilitating, reach out in advance to a trusted Well Circle member, friend, or even to At The Well. We're here to help you, and your sisters are too.
Facilitator Pro-Tips
Volume 3, Section 3
"Facilitate" comes from Latin facil, which means "to make easy." The facilitator's job is to smooth the process for everyone else, making the space and goals of your time together welcoming and understandable.
Whether it's your first Well Circle gathering or your fifteenth, below are some surefire ways to make your facilitation smooth as silk.
Mix up the activities you plan for your Circle meetings; different people connect with different kinds of sharing, ritual, and creative expression. Some people like freewriting, while other prefer to sing. Some light up when doing art projects, and still others are fueled by facilitating juicy conversations. Check out our Moon Manuals for ideas of how to use your meeting time, and Packet 5: Modalities, which offers best practices for creating activities in different mediums including song, storytelling, meditation, and health science to name a few.
As you make a plan for your Well Circle gathering, take a step back for some perspective: Is a lot of sitting involved? Where could a five-minute break fit in if the room starts to get antsy, or where you might incorporate movement or stretching into the ritual practice itself?
Resist the urge to over-plan. If you're a natural born over-planner, make peace with the likelihood that you'll need to skip sections of your plan if you run out of time. It's very easy to plan for waaaay more than what will comfortably fit in the time you've got. As you devise a plan, think deeper rather than wider. Spending more time on fewer activities invites more depth.
Getting clear on your kavanah can help you figure out what you want to prioritize, and help in the moment if time runs out and you need to decide what to cut. Here's a useful question to yourself as you prepare to facilitate: What do I want the participants to leave with by the end of this meeting?
Once you've built your plan, estimate the time it will take to complete each activity. The parts when everyone shares — like the opening go-around — shouldn't have a harsh time limit. In sections like this, over-budget your time. And always allow time for transitions. (Remember it's even valuable to build in a little extra room at the beginning of the Circle for people to settle in.)
Talk your plan through out loud to get a better sense of all the elements to consider. A friend, a fellow Well Circle member, or someone else in your life who has experience planning activities for groups will have wise insights. Encourage that person to ask questions and give feedback about the way you're wording your prompts, facilitating transitions, and setting up activities.
During Your Well Circle Meeting
If Circle members are partnering up, how should they do that? Should they turn to a neighbor or connect with someone else? Frame the activity by telling members what you have in mind.
Preface each activity by letting members know how much time they'll have. Talking about time before anything begins can help you feel more comfortable asserting yourself in the moment. Forecast with at least a ballpark estimate, especially when facilitating a writing or art project.
What materials will members need? Describe whatever members will be using when you begin the activity. Have all materials ready and accessible.
How will members come back together after individual or pair time? Give members a heads up about how you're going to cue them when their time is up.
Words are powerful and important. Take good care in how you communicate in the sacred space of your Well Circle meeting.
Imagine this: A room abuzz, energy high, people talking and connecting. Suddenly, you yell out, Hey! Over here! Okay, stop talking!
Here are some alternatives for gracefully getting your Circle's attention:
Start singing a song to get everyone's attention. Just humming a recognizable melody can work well. Wordless melodies called nigguns are used in Jewish practice all the time, and perfect for this.
Ring a bell or sound a singing bowl.
Simply say, Can I please have everyone's attention? at a slightly higher volume than the conversation.
Other kinds of transitions to consider:
If members are working in pairs, indicate that it's time to switch roles by ringing a bell or another sound cue.
Give everyone a verbal one to two minute heads-up that the time for the activity is almost over. Ask everyone to look up when they're finished so you know where everyone stands.
These are just a few suggestions. Everyone has their own leadership style — find yours and bring it.
Well Circles bring together many humans with diverse responses, desires, and sensitivities. When you're the meeting leader, pay attention to body language and fluctuating energies of the group. Are people fidgeting? Zoning out? What can you do to refocus people?
Humans pick up a lot of information from body cues; positioning your body in a way that's open and comfortable will help others feel the same.
Try keeping the front of your body open and receptive. Rather than crossing your arms, relax them at your sides.
Focus your attention fully on each person as they speak. Make eye contact, offer a soft smile without forcing it, and orient your body in the direction of whomever is speaking.
To minimize distraction and encourage people to stay present, keep your outline or plan for the evening and your timekeeping device — preferably a watch rather than a phone — next to you for reference.
Facilitating In Different Modalities
Volume 3, Section 4
Choosing A Modality
While there are many factors that go into being a great facilitator, let's first look at what happens when you follow your passions (and strengths). Below are some practices you might explore as part of your Well Circle. Identify a few you're excited to use. At The Well calls each of these a modality: A directed approach that helps us create community, sacred space, and connection.
These may be skills you already have, or maybe there's a modality that intrigues you and you want to learn more about it by incorporating it into your Well Circle meeting plan (even if that requires a little more time and energy). This isn't an exhaustive list; just some ideas to get you going.
Verbal storytelling (sharing and witnessing)
Arts and crafts (drawing, collage, mask-making, map-making)
Writing (stories, poetry, journaling, letters)
Readings (poems, Jewish texts, articles, passages)
Movement (journey dance, embodiment, yoga)
Theater (skits, improvisation)
Mindfulness (guided or personal meditation, dream interpretation)
Music (singing songs, making/listening to music)
Food (preparing, sharing)
Text study (analyzing, debating, and exploring the stories from Judaism's ancient text(s)
Spoiler alert: There's more to this! In Packet 5: Modalities we've done a deep dive exploring leadership mediums and best practices.
Because Well Circles often have a lot of intimacy, trust, and comfort, meetings can bring up strong feelings — vulnerability, anger, tenderness, and others. If you're planning an activity that might unlock some deep feeling, consider making time in the meeting to process what just happened. Here are a few ways you can do that.
Have everyone write or silently meditate after a conversation or activity is done. Afterwards, invite volunteers to share in small groups or as a whole Circle.
Have women get in groups of two or three. Explain that each woman will have five to ten minutes to speak while the others just listen with undivided attention, allowing each woman time to unpack where she's coming from, or what she's thinking, validated by the presence and focus of her Circle. When the group comes back together, you can invite women to share out to everyone, or to offer insights they gained from listening.
The power of Well Circles comes from the relationships of those who belong to them. Much of this sense of connection happens organically over time. There are also ways you can help it grow. Here are a few ways to strengthen relationships in your Circle.
Offer a prompt to the group. Invite members to speak to that prompt, going around the circle with the option to pass.
Women share their thoughts on a topic whenever they're ready. Before closing, ask if anyone who hasn't shared would still like to. Sometimes, an invitation is the magic key.
Open the floor for a go-around or popcorn sharing. Once everyone who wants to share has spoken once, women can chime in a second or third time. This moment is ideal to pay attention to who's talking a lot, and who isn't as vocal. If someone is dominating the discussion and you feel comfortable chiming in, you can offer a quick thought about the value of hearing from everyone and invite anyone who the Circle hasn't heard from to share.
Building Sacred Space
What does sacred space mean? What does it take to build one? What does it look like to hold it? What counts as ritual and what does ritual offer?
These are important questions to consider as we grow as facilitators. Below are a few key elements of what we here at At The Well call building sacred space.
You'll have ideas you want to explore during the meeting, perhaps based on the themes of that Hebrew month, the interests of the Circle, a women's health topic that you're interested in, or even current events. You can prepare the group for this focus by including your intention in a Circle email the week before the meeting. Alternatively, offer a couple of sentences about your intention in the welcome at the start of the Circle gathering, which brings everyone into the space.
This is the physical practice of sitting down to a Well Circle meeting that can offer a spiritual or sacred resonance. For example, you might ask everyone to enter the circle by finding a seat in silence, taking a seat all at the same time, or by offering an opening candle lighting ritual that reorients the mind towards the power of the collective.
Grounding can mean something as simple as inviting everyone to settle in to a few moments of silence, or leading the group in deep, conscious breathing, or simple stretching. These activities are intended to calm the mind and spirit, rooting Well Circle members in the present, and releasing the hyperactivity of the outside world of the Circle.
Welcome a spirit or essence of the Divine into your Circle. Name and welcome ancestors or other loved ones no longer present, or a powerful woman you look up to, or a cherished teacher. This practice helps us understand ourselves as part of a greater whole, which increases empathy and invites compassion.
Stay tuned: We dig even deeper into the significance and creation of ritual in Packet 6: Ritual. It even has more suggestions for grounding exercises.
Building Trust + Intimacy
Intimacy is a feeling of loving familiarity. When we feel intimate with others, it means we feel comfortable, close, and at ease with them. Trust is an important precursor to intimacy. From there, we can relax into intimacy; we know we're being respected, considered, and cared for.
At their best, Well Circles include a high degree of trust and intimacy. Cultivating them — as with all of our work — requires care. We want to talk about two areas where trust and intimacy intersect that call for extra consideration.
Well Circles are a place for emotional and even physical intimacy — hugging when we come and go, knees touching in the circle, even cuddling. If a woman is sharing something vulnerable, offering a hand to hold or a hand on her back can be a better move than saying anything.
By the same token, closeness can also be triggering. Always ask first before offering touch.
We understand that at first, it may feel foreign to get physically close to people we don't know well, especially because dominant culture teaches us to stay in our own private space. In Well Circles, we're challenging that notion, experimenting and expanding with a different model of community and slightly different norms.
We went over this in Circle Logistics, but, like every Beyoncé song ever made, it doesn't hurt to hear it again:
What's learned in a Circle leaves the Circle, but what's said there stays there.
Confidentiality is critical in building intimacy and trust. Confidentiality is something that you can establish at your first Well Circle meeting as a norm. The default is to respect the privacy and sharings of Circle members. As a facilitator, you can also invite people to let the group know if something is especially private and not to be shared.
Finding Your Inner Facilitator
Volume 3, Section 5
Finding a facilitation style that's authentic to you takes time, and practice. Well Circles are a great setting to explore your identity as a leader and to stretch and flex your skills. It's also a great place to observe others and learn from each other.
Take advantage of all your Well Circle has to offer and find your inner leader — she's waiting.
Mazal Tov!
You Made it to the end of volume 3.
Download Volume 3:
This work is the product of many minds and influences. As they say, it's a deep well. To find out what keeps us learning, reflecting, and inspired, check out Packet 7: Resources + References. And, for a daily dose of wellness and wisdom, follow At The Well on Instagram and Facebook.


text:
Matthew Polly is the national bestselling author of American Shaolin, Tapped Out, and Bruce Lee. A Princeton University graduate and Rhodes Scholar, he spent two years studying kung fu at the Shaolin Temple in Henan, China. His writing has appeared in The Washington Post, Esquire, Slate, Playboy, and The Nation. He is a fellow at Yale University and lives in New Haven, Connecticut.
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So it's all over. The original sellers--the ones who walked away from the deal on Monday night--have come back to the table. All has been forgiven. The band and trumpets are sounding. The parade grounds are filled.
Here's what happened. After our disastrous and dispiriting Monday night, we moved on to a new house. We began to have our realtor feel out the new seller about terms and conditions. (I should say that this second house was one we'd seen on our house-hunting trip last month, and that it had always been our second choice). We spent all of Tuesday mentally adjusting to the idea that the new house--Swimming Pool House, as I call it (because it had, in the back yard, a giant greenhouse. No, no)--would be, if not as good as the first house, still perfect acceptable. It was smaller, yes, and a little more generic. And there was no real backyard. And we'd never wanted a pool. And it was haunted by the ghost of Stonewall Jackson. And there a pit of iron spikes in the middle of the master bath. But other than, that, you know. It was fine.
So we had mostly gotten our minds around the idea that Swimming Pool house was going to be our new home. And then, on the same day our agent had been dispatched to Swimming Pool house to do some scouting, he got a call. The original sellers--from the First House--had a new offer. They would give us [substantial sum] off of the price of the home if we'd come back to the table. In money terms, it was a clear home run. Even adding in all the repairs we'd have to make, we'd be getting the house at a great price. The only consideration was the sellers themselves. Had their lack of forthrightness in disclosing the plumbing situation the first time round ruled them out as someone to do business with?
In the end, we decided it hadn't. Maybe they aren't the most ethical people out there, but given all the many, many inspections we've performed on the house, there seems very little chance that it could have any other hidden problems. I should also say, though I don't want to go into details on a semi-public forum, that we've since learned something about one of the sellers that has made me reconsider my earlier judgement of their lack of ethics. They have some other big things going on in their life-- troubling things--and it's possible they weren't so much unethical as...what...distracted?
Anyway, point is, we got the first house--the one we wanted--and we're feeling good. Tired, emotionally, but good. There's now the issue of effecting a large amount of repairs and remodeling in the relatively brief window between the time the Sellers depart and we move in.
But that's a story for another post. Or, more likely, several.
Saturday, June 25, 2016
Wednesday, June 22, 2016
Or Did It?
The sellers have changed their mind. They've just come to us with a new offer, to rebate us a significant amount of cash--more than we'd asked in the beginning.
Stay Tuned!
Stay Tuned!
Posted by ANCIANT at 4:15 PM No comments:
Tuesday, June 21, 2016
How the Home Purchase Fell Through
There is no joy in ANCIANT land; our home purchase has fallen through. Yesterday was a dark, hard day. It was 110 outside, for one thing, and even though we had the AC on inside it was still sweltering. Plus I hadn't slept well the night before, and all day I felt kind of dizzy and tired. And then, the house....
As you know if you've bought a house, throughout the process of escrow buyers have several opportunities to exit the deal. Contingencies, they're called. For us the only relevant contingency was Inspections. Inspectors come out to look at the property. They make sure it's structurally sound and they identify any hidden problems. If there are problems you ask the seller to fix them (or, more often, you ask for money to be taken off the price off the house, which you then use to make the necessary repairs).
Last week, our realtor had a number of inspectors come out, and we hadn't turned up anything major (there were some termites, and there were mild drainage issues). But he wanted also to get something called a HydroStatic test. This is a test in which they pressurize your outgoing water pipes and see if there are any leaks.
It's not a test everyone effects; most realtors will get a basic inspection report and maybe on top of it, a structural report. But our guy (who's fantastic, btw--if anyone needs a realtor in (CITY) let me know)--gets as many inspections as possible. In part, he wants to do his due diligence, but he also wants to increase his own bargaining position going into the inspection negotiations (the more things you can find wrong, the more you can ask for).
So, he wanted the HydroStatic test. And the sellers, at first, refused. They had to sign some kind of waiver to allow the Testing Agent to go in and pressurize their pipes, and somehow last Friday they "couldn't be found" in time to sign said waiver. But our realtor pursued them, and he got it set up so that the test would be done yesterday--Monday. Which was the last day we had to negotiate our inspection contingency.
The HydroStatic report showed that the pipes on the left side of the house (site of the Master Bedroom) were leaking fluid into the area underneath the home's foundation slab. This was very bad--and something that has to be fixed. (If not, you risk softening and ultimately destroying the foundation). The cost to do so was twenty thousand dollars. And this, at least from our point of view, was not a negotiable repair--you can't move into a house where water is pooling under the foundation.
Well, you can, but it seems stupid.
Keep in mind that we had to have all this negotation finalized, and a final number agreed upon, by 6 pm on Monday night (8 PM central time). We've just gotten the HydroStatic report at 5 PM (our time). We have an hour. So this is a very hectic and tense time (in our sweltering, sweltering house). Remeber, we not only asking for the pipes to be fixed, we're also asking for a lot of other smaller repairs (drains, termites, etc). And we're trying to decide, as we wait to hear from our Realtor, the minimum amount we would accept in repair allowances. They've already promised to give us money for the termites (that's about 4k). We're assuming they're going to give us the money to fix the pipes. But will they give us any more? They should but how much more? That's what we're wondering.
The answer is: zero much more. Not only will they not give us any additional money, they're refusing to give us enough to cover the plumbing fix. Their total number turns out to be 8k. That's for everything. The termites, the pipes, the drains--all of it. So that's very bad.
And that's not all. Our HydroStatic guy has had, for some reason, to have a phone conversation with the Seller. What he reports back to our realtor is that the he believes that Seller KNEW THE PIPES WERE LEAKING FROM THE START. HydroStatic can't prove this conclusively, of course; the Seller hasn't come out and directly stated that he knew--to do so would be admitting to an illegal fraud. But based on the Seller's deep familiarity with HydroStatic testing, and judging by some very pointed 'in the know' questions Seller has asked, HydroStatic guy is confident the Seller knew the whole time. He's been trying to con us, in other words.
Later, the Seller's Realtor ("Sara") concludes essentially the same thing. This is after the deal has collapsed; she has called our Realtor to apologize for how it all went down. She was acting on behalf of friend, and she had no idea that they were up to something. But now, in the light of what's been discovered, she's gone back over their interactions and put together other fragments of their conversation, and she thinks it smells bad.
(The Seller, I should note, just to finish up on the scintiallating 'pipes discussion'--has had their house partially--but not entirely--repiped three years ago. So they're likely to be very cognizant of the pipage situation in their home).
Anyway, it's all very sad on many levels. I feel great anger and rage against the sellers, who have revealed themselves as liars and frauds. I'm sad we didn't get the house. I'm sad and weary that we have to go through this whole process again. And I'm glad we have a good realtor, who was able to ferret out this deception before we got took.
From the start of our interaction with these sellers, my wife has been calling them 'squirrley.' And I have been saying she was wrong. But I was wrong. She was right. I guess she sensed from the outset, that they were no good. And, credit where it's due: she was right. I think it just never occurs to me, in these situations, that people will deceive you. I think I assume that everybody in the world is like my parents, and they all act with integrity, and that their word is their bond. [That to me, is what it is to be an adult. It's certainly what it means to be a man. Integrity. Your word is your bond. All that good stuff.] So I'm kind of just...at a loss when I learn people are otherwise. Which, I suppose, shows how naive I am.
A final note--now that Sara knows about the plumbing leak in seller's house she is obliged, legally, to disclose said leak to any new potential buyers. If she fails to do so, she could lose her license (and Sara, we're confident, is an honest person; she's on the hook for any of this). What that means is that the Sellers are going to face the same negotation about fixing the plumbing with whoever they find to buy the house. Now, possibly a new buyer might accept the leak--they might not insist on the repairs being made. But that seems unlikely (would you buy a house knowing that water was leaking under the foundation?)
The Sellers could get around this problem by firing Sara and bringing in a new agent. Doing so would make it possible for them to continue to hide the information about the leaking pipes to new buyers (the new agent would presuambly not have been told about the plumbing problem). However, our agent has already indicated that, should the Sellers puruse that parth--should they fire Lisa and hire a new Agent--he will make sure and be in touch with anyone who enters into escrow to buy the house, to make sure they know about the leak.
Also, we're going to where they live, these sellers, in Wyoming, and burning down their house. At least that's my thought. And the land will be sere and dark wherever they may dwell, and their children shall eat the crusts of broken bread, and locusts and plague shall be their comforters, in their dark streets of Babylon.
Posted by ANCIANT at 9:20 AM No comments:
Sunday, June 19, 2016
It's All Been Forgiven
Temperatures today reached 107. Tomorrow they're projected above 110. Yesterday I played tennis in 97 degrees. That was bad, but bearable. But 107 is not bearable. I saw a couple walking their dog at 330, on their way back from the gym, and I was filled with anger. Subjecting the bare paws of an innocent dog to the boiling pavement, it's unacceptable. Probably the owners were just stupid, but stupidity is not justification for cruelty.
I spend at least an hour a day watching TV and freaking out. LA is starting more and more to feel like an apocalypse. I don't know why, but I have this impending feeling--something bad is about to happen. An earthquake. I don't know. I watch TV every day to find out what's happening with Trump. I'm unable to accept that he's become the nominee, but if he becomes president--it's unthinkable. That IS the apocalypse. No words can delimn what a disaster he would be.
The brother has written a great review of a book about Dudo of St Quentin. I'm sure none of you need any background about the storied life and times of Dudo. His legacy speaks for itself! Go to Speculum and read it. I'll find the link, probably, pretty soon.
The new Garbage album doesn't do much for me. Why do I keep trusting the reviews on Pitchfork? Because I'm a fool. Rock is an emptied-out husk, really. It's Dixieland Jazz: its every ore has been mined. We need the next new thing. In an interview with Bowie a few years ago, he talked about how if he were starting out now he'd not go into music--he'd try to create something on the internet. Not a Facebook, I don't think, but some kind of interactive art experience. That's going to be the new frontier. Not the Holodeck, exactly, but something along those lines.
Peaky Blinders, on Netflix, shows promise. It speaks to me because I also ran a gambling and betting ring in Manchester, UK, in the 1920s. (Actually I think it's set in Birmingham).
A final trivia question: under whose presidency did the greatest number of new states enter the Union?
Hint: it was NOT Millard Fillmore.
I spend at least an hour a day watching TV and freaking out. LA is starting more and more to feel like an apocalypse. I don't know why, but I have this impending feeling--something bad is about to happen. An earthquake. I don't know. I watch TV every day to find out what's happening with Trump. I'm unable to accept that he's become the nominee, but if he becomes president--it's unthinkable. That IS the apocalypse. No words can delimn what a disaster he would be.
The brother has written a great review of a book about Dudo of St Quentin. I'm sure none of you need any background about the storied life and times of Dudo. His legacy speaks for itself! Go to Speculum and read it. I'll find the link, probably, pretty soon.
The new Garbage album doesn't do much for me. Why do I keep trusting the reviews on Pitchfork? Because I'm a fool. Rock is an emptied-out husk, really. It's Dixieland Jazz: its every ore has been mined. We need the next new thing. In an interview with Bowie a few years ago, he talked about how if he were starting out now he'd not go into music--he'd try to create something on the internet. Not a Facebook, I don't think, but some kind of interactive art experience. That's going to be the new frontier. Not the Holodeck, exactly, but something along those lines.
Peaky Blinders, on Netflix, shows promise. It speaks to me because I also ran a gambling and betting ring in Manchester, UK, in the 1920s. (Actually I think it's set in Birmingham).
A final trivia question: under whose presidency did the greatest number of new states enter the Union?
Hint: it was NOT Millard Fillmore.
Posted by ANCIANT at 6:01 PM No comments:
Friday, June 10, 2016
Buying A House
Last weekend we went to (Southern City) to look for houses. We'd been searching online for the last month, hoping to find something good enough to justify flying into (City) early, but nothing great came up. So we flew in, spent an entire Saturday looking at houses and finally found one we liked.
Since at least half the people who read this blog have already heard (or were part of) the riveting bodice-ripper that is the ANCIANT HOUSE HUNT TALE, I won't rehearse every step of the quest. The summary is: we bought a somewhat quirky house in a very unquirky neighborhood. At first we thought the sale would go very smoothly. As we prepared to board the plane to return to LA, however, we learned that someone else other than us wanted our house. Drama ensued.
Below is an email I sent to some friends describing the last few days. Apologies for not writing up afresh; the email captures most of what there is to say about the process....
[Couple friend has sent us email saying how much they like house: this is the context]
....Thanks for your email. We have gotten so frazzled by recent events we have begun to question all our thought processes and reconsider the decision (not fundamentally, but, you know. Doubt creeps in).
The last few days have been incredibly hectic and tension-packed. On Sunday night we wrote an offer on the house, thinking we were the only ones interested. Because the house had already been on the market for a month, we assumed we'd get it for way under asking price. Then on Monday morning we learned another buyer had also made an offer. Various calls went back and forth—the sellers wanted us to be able to give them all their money at the end of June, all sorts of other stuff—and we assumed, as we boarded the plane to fly back to LA that we were going to have to make what's called a "highest and best" offer. (Basically, both interested buyers make their best offer blind, and the seller chooses one).
We spent the whole flight trying to decide what that highest and best offer should be, while at the same time working out what would be our fall-back house if this house fell through. Then, when we landed we learned that the sellers did NOT want us to make a 'highest and best' offer. Instead they sent us a very unorthodox (at least according to our realtor—who called it 'amateur hour') email in which they stipulated exactly the offer they wanted us to make. Make that offer, they said, and you get the house. Since their offer was actually BELOW what we we had been prepared to make (the money was the same, but we were going to throw in a number of ancillary inducements) we happily gave them what they wanted. We still got the house below its list price, too, but not as much below list as we'd hoped.
Then, in the last 24 hours we've each of us—the Wife especially—started to worry that maybe we were rushing into something, that we were buying a house just b/c we HAD to, that it was too unorthodox and odd, etc etc. This house is definitely better than anything else we saw, but is it our dream house? Maybe so, maybe not. On the other hand, are we going to find our dream house in two or three weekends? Probably not. So we're happy, if a bit trepidatious. It's a soulful house—not another [Southern City Neighborhood] cookie-cutter, and I think it has a lot of appeal. It's on a huge lot, relatively speaking, but the outdoor space is a bit chopped up. It's not necessarily a house where you have three kids running around on the lawn with a golden retriever—more like a house where you have one introverted child who locks himself in his room to memorize the name of all the French Generals of the Napoleonic wars—but, that's probably what our child will be like. So, that's ok. If he wants to frolic on lawns he'll have to change families.
I don't know if we mentioned this, but [WIFE] has recently gotten involved in providing HIV care for the Trans community. That will be one of her specialities, perhaps, when we move. I'm very taken with the idea of introducing ourselves to our neighbors by telling them that my wife is an expert in HIV Trans care, and to please remember her when they're referring their friends. Also, maybe, we could tell them our house will be a sometimes clinic for Trans sex workers.
Shake things up a little, as it were.
Posted by ANCIANT at 9:01 AM 1 comment:
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214 pages
Since Plato and Aristotle's declaration of the essence of literature as imitation, western narrative has been traditionally discussed in mimetic terms. Marginalized fantasy- the deliberate from reality – has become the hidden face of fiction, identified by most critics as a minor genre. First published in 1984, this book rejects generic definitions of fantasy, arguing that it is not a separate or even separable strain in literary practice, but rather an impulse as significant as that of mimesis. Together, fantasy and mimesis are the twin impulses behind literary creation. In an analysis that ranges from the Icelandic sagas to science fiction, from Malory to pulp romance, Kathryn Hume systematically examines the various ways in which fantasy and mimesis contribute to literary representations of reality.
A detailed and comprehensive title, this reissue will be of particular value to undergraduate literature students with an interest in in literary genres and the centrality of literature to the creative imagination.
Acknowledgements; Preface; Part I: Literature and the representation of reality: a new approach to fantasy and mimesis Introduction 1. Critical approaches to fantasy 2. Historical perspectives on fantasy and realism; Part II: Responses to reality: how is fantasy used? Introduction 3. Literature of illusion: invitations to escape reality 4. Literature of vision: introducing new realities 5. Literature of revision: programs for improving reality 6. Literature of disillusion: making reality unknowable; Part III: The functions of fantasy: why use fantasy? Introduction 7. Fantasy as a function of form 8. The problem of meaning and the power of fantasy; Notes; Index
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WASHINGTON - Insider sources with D.C. United (a soccer team in Washington D.C.) indicate that recently uncovered news that the position of the stadium and roof line makes the afternoon sun shine into television cameras was actually not a mistake and instead was a conscious effort by the front office to prevent fans from seeing how poor the team is this season as they struggle on and off the field.
United, who are currently dead last in the Eastern Conference, have struggled this season as the front office continues to have thirteen jobs done by Ben Olsen including team driver, chef, seat ticket representative, and masseuse.
"These reporters think that this was a mistake, but in reality this was a decision by the front office to ensure that we don't look bad on national TV," stated one United insider. "You can't hate what you can't see! 9 points! Once they flip the team and sell to a consortium of businessmen from China they will tell them that they need to build a cover over the whole stadium and complete the design."
Fans say that they remain un-surprised by any of this as they continue to find ways to be let down by a front office that has managed to sever much of the good will remaining at the team over the past 10 years.
"I'm just going to keep re-watching that Lewis Neal goal from 6 years ago," stated D.C. United fan Osvaldo Gonzalez. "Ugh."
The Nutmeg News will have more on this as D.C. United deny that the sun exists.


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Our son was not yet 2 years old when Trayvon Martin was shot in Sanford, Florida. That night we held him tightly and I prayed that I would find the words as he grew up to talk to him about vulnerability, oppression, being a person of color, racism. My parents who were born in the south but grew up in the North and the West did a poor job of preparing me for the harsh realities of the isms. I was sheltered and protected. I believe my parents thought that because we moved out of Inglewood into Pasadena, enrolled me in private schools, exposed me to those upper-class activities that they did not participate in, I would be spared or safe from racism, sexism, etc. Otis Graham, author of Our Kind of People wrote a column about how privileged status does not protect our children from being called a N—- https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/11/06/i-taught-my-black-kids-that-their-elite-upbringing-would-protect-them-from-discrimination-i-was-wrong/
Since February 2012, so may incidents of racial injustice and violence have occurred that I have honestly lost track. All I know is that I am trying to remain calm, not panic, and talk to our son in ways that make sense. My husband and I have different approaches, which is o.k. I think. There are different ways to expose our children, talk to them, and prepare them as best we can for their futures. Our differing approaches collided when our nephew was elected president of his high school student body and social media erupted in racial slurs and threats of death. For the first time since our son had been born I was called to action. I participated in a rally, but our son did not go. Our nephew was on the front page of the paper and on the nightly local news almost daily. Our son is learning to read and pictures speak volumes. I felt we could not hide or sugar-coat the truth. We have responded simply or used religion or sports analogies to help.
The simplest response possible: "He won and some people were not happy, they are sore losers, and they said mean things." And our son would say "Are they going to get in trouble? Did they apologize?" The truth was that no, those kids did not truly get into trouble and we were not sure they had apologized. So another type of conversation was had. We turned to religion: "Sometimes people do or say mean things and they do not apologize. God knows our hearts and will always protect us." God is still a vague being/concept to our son, but he kind of got it. IN other situations, we have turned to sports (his favorite activity): "You know how in a game there is a referee that monitors the players and when a player creates a super bad foul the player gets kicked out of the game and then later he has to pay a fee?" "Yes." "In life there are referees who patrol our world and kick people out and make them pay fees."
But then the news images of police, protestors, shot boys that look like him become too much to ignore. Even if we were not watching the news in his presence, he sees the front page of the newspaper as we bring it into the house, the news has a preview on t.v. as we are turning to his kid's channel, our gatherings are a mix of adults and children and he over-hears our conversations. We cannot and will not live in a bubble under the guise of shielding him. So the real challenge is how to navigate this harsh reality without burdening his 5 year old mind, soul, and heart.
He is obsessed with playing "jail." He also loves soccer, football, play dough, and coloring. But inevitably whatever he is building with Legos turns into a jail. His soccer players end up in jail because they cause d a foul or his play dough creation is a jail. Even his beloved TMNT are in jail! My social worker antenna is buzzing!!!! So I ask "Why is everyone always in jail?" "Because they're bad." "What did they do?" "They were fighting." "Oh" I say weakly, wondering if I should continue the questioning, which I do not but instead say "I think you've played jail long enough, let's read…."
Our son is very intuitive, he is smart and savvy. He listens to everything people say. He is not naïve. At the same time, we do not want to give him more information than he needs at this age. We also do not want him to be shocked (which he will be) when a classmate or a classmate's parent says something racially cruel or he doesn't get invited to the party because the parent doesn't like black people, etc., etc. I also do not want to be a helicopter parent, but I can easily see how trying to protect your child from injustice based on his race or biological sex or religion or ability…could lead a parent to helicopter…patrolling the books in the library, the holidays celebrated at school, etc.
I am too often overwhelmed by that state of our country and our world. I feel paralyzed and fearful. Then I remember that I need to model what our son should be (my husband does too) and I just make sure our son hears and sees me engaged in social justice. I also remember that I have gotten through it with minimal protection and I have grown stronger, more passionate, braver.
I also just hope and pray that there are parents of every race, ethnicity, nationality, religion, and orientation out there who are just as concerned as I am and are having age-appropriate conversations with their children about the same issues and about how to be an ally. I just hope and pray that there is better police academy screening and training. I just hope that the post-modernists, whom I do not always understand or agree with, are right and we reach a post-label-identity society…where we are all equal and treated as such.
Do you talk to your child about difference? Vulnerablitiy? Racism? Sexism? Current events? How do you do it?
Some of my favorite articles on related topics:
- To The White Parent of My Black Son's Friends – http://www.amusingmaralee.com/2015/12/to-the-white-parents-of-my-black-sons-friends/#sthash.mZuLFa7R.dpuf
- Respect what black America is feeling – http://www.salon.com/2015/04/29/dear_white_facebook_friends_i_need_you_to_respect_what_black_america_is_feeling_right_now/
- Five recovery steps from a form helicopter parent http://ww2.kqed.org/mindshift/2016/01/05/overparenting-5-recovery-steps-from-a-former-stanford-dean/
- What it's like to be the only black kid in class http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/this-is-what-its-like-to-be-the-only-black-kid-in-class_568a847be4b014efe0dae77d


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LEGO Fantastic Beasts Grindelwalds Escape 75951
5.0 1 5 1
Wands at the ready! Prepare for a magical LEGO Fantastic Beasts 75951 Grindelwald's Escape battle and help Seraphina Picquery stop the evil Grindelwald from escaping in the flying carriage drawn by a Thestral. Summon your most powerful magic before the Dark wizard conjures his own dark spells and escapes from MACUSA with the winged horse!
Includes Gellert Grindelwald and Seraphina Picquery™ minifigures, plus a Thestral figure with posable wings.
Features a buildable articulated carriage with opening doors and a removable roof.
Flap the Thestral's wings to make a flying escape!
Also includes shooting spell accessories on the hands of Seraphina and Grindelwald. Recreate iconic scenes from the Fantastic Beasts™ movie.
Accessory elements include 2 wands.
Carriage with Thestral measures over 3in (8cm) high, 9in (25cm) long and 2in (7cm) wide.
For Ages: 7+
Limit 5 Per Customer
Warning: Choking Hazard, Small Parts, Not for Children Under 3 Years Old
For Ages: 7+
Limit 5 Per Customer
Warning: Choking Hazard, Small Parts, Not for Children Under 3 Years Old
Product Details
|LEGO® Systems, Inc.
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|Age Range:
|7 - 14 Years
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LEGO Fantastic Beasts Grindelwalds Escape 75951 based on 0 ratings. 1 reviews.
This is a great small lego set in the Harry Potter mode - my just 6 year old granddaughter could put it together and immediately played with it and kept playing with it. great birthday choice.


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text: October 19, 2017 Kyle Dodson Year 7 Episode 327: Rock'n'Roll Royalty October 19, 2017 Kyle Dodson Year 7 Pat, Mike and Kyle play songs that have royal words in the song title. King, Queen, crown, throne etc. Kyle Dodson Comedian, Writer, Facial Hair Connoisseur, Batman aficionado, Rock Solid Podcast Producer, and Oxford comma supporter.


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Hi there!
Thank you for signing up for our emails! We can't wait to stay in touch and share more stories of human dignity with you.
We're so thankful for your heart to value every single LIFE, and hope that sharing your passion for this movement doesn't stop here.
The Stand for Life Team


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I need your help developing a new test to identify machines and non-human entities. Play "I wish" by Stevie Wonder. If you can stand completely still throughout, then you are a non human unit.
I need some help to develop this playlist, which will yield more accurate data. We can then apply it to managers, helpline administrators, PR people and gallery front of house and others we encounter in our working lives. Then we can roll it out, as managers tend to say. Ooops.
Suggestions so far are :
- "Reasons to be Cheerful" by Ian Dury and the Blockheads.
- "Denis Denis" by Blondie/Debbie Harry
- "Cool struttin" by Sonny Clark
Then we can think about having some fun designing the hardware, no better place to start than the Voight-Kampf Test. I can't believe that the Blade Runner sketchbooks now fetch over £100 a pop secondhand, I remember them being full of beautiful drawing by Ridley Scott. It was clearly a fully imagined place for him before he went near a camera.


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Waiheke Living is pleased to offer customers a variety of finance options. These include Q Mastercard, Gem Visa and the local FlexiPay credit card.
Q MasterCard is your perfect shopping partner for purchases big or small, combining the benefits of a credit card with a range of interest-free deals and payment holidays.Offered by Columbus Financial Services Limited (CFSL), just ask in store for an application form or apply online.
Gem Visa is offered by Latitude Financial Services and is protected by Visa's verified security systems. They offer six months interest free on purchases over $250 and up to 55 days interest free on other purchases. Conditions apply.
Flexipay is available to island residents and has no minimum purchase. There are no booking fees, statement fees or late payment fees. For more information on Flexipay click here.


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Hartman Insight: Teens default to eating at home (or someone else's home), unless a specific occasion drives them to retail. Generally speaking, retail provides a solution for when options at home aren't appealing. Going to retail can also be a way to get away from the house and be with friends.
Report: Gen Z 2018
Questions? Want more information? Contact:
Blaine Becker
Senior Director of Marketing
425.452.0818 ext 124
Consumer Demographics Food & Beverage Occasions Consumer Package Goods Retail/Shopper Insights Trends Point Of View Foodservice/Restaurant
Health + Wellness 2017 updates and extends The Hartman Group's previous work, showing changing attitudes, behaviors and emerging trends. We will also apply our signature "ahead-of-the-curve" thinking for marketing health and wellness solutions to consumers with our inclusive focus on trendsetters, early adopters and more mainstream consumers. The report delivers a culturally based big-picture assessment of where health and wellness is today, where it is headed and what it means for your business.


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"Pacific Rim," "Thor" and "Luther" actor Idris Elba has been linked to a lot of projects in the last few years. Recently he spoke with The Huffington Post about various casting rumors and projects he's been linked to. One was another character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe aside from his Heimdall role in "Thor":
"There was talk about Luke Cage at one time – I thought Luke Cage was a pretty interesting character. They were going to do it, but I don't know what happened."
The interviewer then told him how a "Luke Cage" series is coming to Netflix. Elba then responded "That's right, yeah."
Elba has also been suggested to be up for the Colin Trevorrow-directed fourth "Jurassic Park" film. Elba shot down the talk, saying "No, it's just a rumor" and actually seemed surprise another 'Jurassic' film was in the works.
Fans have previous suggested Elba for the role of James Bond, an idea he seems to love but he acknowledges is highly unlikely to get:
"I say it all the time, but if it was to ever happen and if I was ever to get offered that role, that would be the will of a nation. That would be like, 'Wow, human beings are really powerful. They really made that happen, because Barbara Broccoli certainly didn't'… it would be the will of a nation because everyone has been saying that to me.


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Review: City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare/
City of Heavenly Fire
Cassandra Clare
Margaret K McElderry
Released May 27, 2014
725 pages
YA / Fantasy / Magic
Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository | Indie Bound
In this dazzling and long-awaited conclusion to the acclaimed Mortal Instruments series, Clary and her friends fight the greatest evil they have ever faced: Clary's own brother.
Sebastian Morgenstern is on the move, systematically turning Shadowhunter against Shadowhunter. Bearing the Infernal Cup, he transforms Shadowhunters into creatures out of nightmare, tearing apart families and lovers as the ranks of his Endarkened army swell.
The embattled Shadowhunters withdraw to Idris - but not even the famed demon towers of Alicante can keep Sebastian at bay. And with the Nephilim trapped in Idris, who will guard the world against demons?
When one of the greatest betrayals the Nephilim have ever known is revealed, Clary, Jace, Isabelle, Simon, and Alec must flee - even if their journey takes them deep into the demon realms, where no Shadowhunter has set foot before, and from which no human being has ever returned...
Love will be sacrificed and lives lost in the terrible battle for the fate of the word in the thrilling final installment of the classic urban fantasy series The Mortal Instruments!
Two volumes of boredom finally pay off with a more interesting story in the sixth and final book of Cassandra Clare's The Immortal Instruments series. Too bad the more interesting story was bogged down by shoehorning in new characters to bridge to the forth-coming trilogy The Dark Artifices and tons of winks to readers who have read the other books. Also, if you haven't read the Victorian London set prequel series The Infernal Devices, don't read this book. It will spoil the ending to that story and then some.
Spoilers for… possibly a lot of things, including City of Heavenly Fire
I don't want this to turn into a rant, so I'm going to make lists of things. Here are the things I liked about this book:
- Drunk Simon is the best Simon.
- Jace stopped being such an asshat, though I still didn't like him much.
- Magnus is still my favorite except when his dialogue was filled with winkwinknudgenudge references to the short stories that I haven't read.
- Cagey evil faeries are awesome bad guys.
- Sebastian wasn't quite so mustache twirly of a villain in this one and his story's conclusion was satisfactory.
- Brother Zachariah!
Things I didn't like about this book:
- I guess Cassandra Clare is on the George RR Martin of YA fantasy. This book was entirely too long and didn't need to be 750 pages. There was a lot of repetition and drag through the middle of it.
- While I enjoyed Brother Zachariah's twist, I did not like the fact that I now pretty much know how The Infernal Devices ended. It was unnecessary to bring in Tessa and it all felt a bit shoed in.
- How many endings does a book need? This book has more endings than the movie version of Return of the King.
- There is no danger in this book. I mean, there are bad guys and fights and whatnot, but never does it feel like our main characters are put into life-threatening situations. After such an "epic" series, someone really should have died or at least been seriously maimed (see: Harry Potter). Instead it lacked any emotional oomph at the end.
- Emma and the Blackthorn kids showing up just to set up the next series. While they gave a slightly different perspective to the events happening, not much about their story line contributed to the main story at hand other than to have familiar faces for the future.
- So a good quarter of this book felt like set up for another series instead of feeling like a satisfactory conclusion to a six book series.
Other than those things, nothing about this book really stuck with me enough to mention it in a review. That's a little sad considering I just finished reading it two days ago.
So why exactly do I feel inclined to not only read the Victorian prequel series despite knowing the ending and the future series? What is it about Cassandra Clare's world that I feel I need to know what happens? It's not because she's a particularly fantabulous writer and yet I feel like I need to move forward just to know what is going on.
I am conflicted. Should I continue reading Clare's Shadowhunter books despite my general disinterest in what happened in the second half of this series?


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The National Injunction and the Administrative Procedure Act
Critics of national injunctions should not stretch the meaning of key words in the APA.
The Regulatory Accountability Act and the Obsolescence of Formal Rulemaking
Administrative agencies should not be required to use a process that has been obsolete for decades.
An Independent Commission Should Suggest, Not Determine, Rule Rescissions
Proposed regulatory review commissions would circumvent procedural safeguards.


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Sacred Mass of Chrism:
'The feast of our sacramental family'
By The Most Rev. Ronald M. Gilmore
Diocese of Dodge City
Editor's Note: Following is Bishop Ronald M. Gilmore's homily on the occasion of the Mass of Chrism, March 25, 2010, which was held at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Gudadalupe in Dodge City.
A Chrism Mass is almost a language unto itself, almost an unspoken creed unto itself. Our way of praying is our way of believing. Think on that for a moment.
We believe in the Creator, the maker of all material things, and the maker of the communion to which we are called. We express that in this Chrism Mass. And that just about says it all.
We are so made that we are permanently tied to material things. That's why we cling to the hope of a bodily resurrection. We are so made that we are permanently hungry for communion with one another and with God. That's why we cannot be happy apart from the communion we seek in heaven. Knowing how we are made, God attached his grace to material objects and visible actions. Our sacraments contain the grace they symbolize and they confer that grace on all those who place no obstacle in the way.
We believe in a Redeemer, Jesus Christ, the Son of God. He is the expression of the Father, his Word. He is the Icon of the Father. He is the Sacrament of the Father, an outward sign, a bodily expression through which eternal life comes to us. He came to save us from the ravages of the Fall, to restore us to Divine Life. For the Catholic, a spiritual life is a life lived with him, inside his memory.
We believe in the Holy, Catholic Church. She is also an expression of Jesus Christ, a visible continuation of his presence, a sacrament of Jesus Christ, if you will. A spiritual life is a life lived with him, inside his mystery, and inside the mystery of the Church, the sign of the unity to which all women and men are called.
We believe in the Sacrament of the Holy Orders: the ordained priest is a sacrament of Christ, the Head of the Church. We believe in the Sacrament of Marriage: the married couple is a sacrament of the Trinity in the home and the family they make. We believe in the Sacrament of Baptism: for which we are purified by the oil of catechumens, and in which we are anointed by the Holy Spirit through the Oil of Chrism. We believe in the Sacrament of Anointing the Sick, with its soothing, strengthening, healing oil for our long pilgrimage of faith.
Sacraments from beginning to end. Sacraments everywhere. As the French writer, Bernanos, once said of grace: all is sacramental. Our providential God uses the world, and all that is in it, as a Sacrament of his Presence, another French writer, De Caussade, said centuries earlier.
The Chrism Mass is thus a feast, the feast perhaps, of our sacramental family. Bishop, priests, deacons, sisters, people, we come together on our sacramental way, in our spiritual life so tied to material, bodily things, so bent on seeking the only communion that finally satisfies. Sights, and sounds, and gestures, and symbols abound here today. Fue sanada al tocar el manto de Jesus a traves del poder que habia salido de el. Poder … habia salido de el.
See now, and hear, and smell, and touch, and taste now the Goodness of the Lord.


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The Indian couple is fighting for the custody of their three-month-old baby, who were taken away from them and given to the foster parents by the child care services in the US after injuries were found on the body of the child.
The father of the child, Ashish Parikh, works with Tata Consultancy Services (TCS) in Jersey City. His wife, Vidisha, delivered the baby, Ashvidh in October two months after she came from India.
According to Ashish, the baby slipped out of her mother's hands when she was taking him for a pediatrician visit. He sustained internal injuries after he hit his head on a TV stand and then falling on the floor. Vidisha then rushed the child to the nearest hospital. The child has recovered; but the hospital had called child welfare services and police. The parents were accused of 'Shaking Baby Syndrome (SBS)' which means that baby was either shaken badly by parents or thrown as a ball.
Family of Ashish claims that is precisely not the case, as they are loving parents who were blessed with a kid after five years of marriage. They were very happy on the arrival of the child and the accident was just an unfortunate incident.
Now, the parents of the baby are allowed to meet him for limited time period every day and are not allowed to feed him. The family has also sought help from the Indian Prime Minister's Office, and Rajasthan Chief Minister, Vasundhara Raje on this matter.
The case will go for hearing in the court on February 14, 2016 but until then the child will remain with the foster parents only.