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Why you'd want to live in Monroe
Only an hour away from Stevens Pass, Monroe is the largest city on Highway 2 between Everett and Wenatchee. Monroe and surrounding areas present a kaleidoscope of past and present. Dairy farming, berry farming, vegetables, poultry and beef, nurseries, tree farms and logging, horse breeding and training, all blend harmoniously with the majesty of the mountains, swift-running rivers, ancient cedar and hemlock forests, and many wonderful parks and trails full of natural beauty.

subset: commoncrawl


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CARSON, Calif. (AP) Major League Soccer veteran Pat Noonan has retired as a player to join the Los Angeles Galaxy's coaching staff.
The two-time defending MLS champions announced the move Friday.
Noonan appeared in 10 games last season with the Galaxy, his fifth MLS team in the past decade. Noonan's teams reached the MLS Cup final five times, winning titles with Columbus in 2008 and again with the Galaxy last fall.
The 32-year-old forward had 42 goals and 33 assists in 183 MLS games, spending his first five seasons with New England before playing briefly in Norway. He played for Columbus, Colorado, Seattle and Los Angeles over the past five years.
Noonan also made 14 appearances for the U.S. national team, usually playing under Galaxy head coach Bruce Arena.


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2-Door Conv
MSRP based on 2-Door Conv
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Continental GT
2-Door Conv
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2-Door Coupe Speed
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Continental GTMSRP
- 2-Door Conv $193,990
- 2-Door Coupe $175,990
- 2-Door Coupe Speed $199,990
MSRP: $193,990View Classifieds
Quick Specs
Gas Mileage 11 mpg City/18 mpg Hwy
Engine Gas W12, 6.0L
EPA Class Compact
Style Name 2dr Conv
Drivetrain All Wheel Drive
Passenger Capacity 4
Passenger Doors 2
Body Style Convertible
Transmission 6-speed automatic transmission
EPA Classification Compact
Weight Information
Base Curb Weight (lbs) 5456
Interior Dimensions
Front Shoulder Room (in) 59.4
Second Hip Room (in) - TBD -
Front Head Room (in) 37.0
Second Leg Room (in) 30.2
Passenger Capacity 4
Front Hip Room (in) - TBD -
Front Leg Room (in) 42.3
Second Shoulder Room (in) 56.8
Passenger Volume (ft³) - TBD -
Second Head Room (in) 36.6
Exterior Dimensions
Track Width, Front (in) 63.9
Width, Max w/o mirrors (in) 75.4
Liftover Height (in) - TBD -
Wheelbase (in) 108.1
Track Width, Rear (in) 63.3
Height, Overall (in) 55.0
Length, Overall (in) 189.1
Min Ground Clearance (in) - TBD -
Cargo Area Dimensions
Trunk Volume (ft³) 8.3
Fuel Economy
Fuel Tank
Fuel Tank Capacity, Approx (gal) 23.8
EPA Fuel Economy Est - City (MPG) 11
EPA Fuel Economy Est - Hwy (MPG) 18
Performance Specs
SAE Net Horsepower @ RPM 552 @ 6100
Displacement 6.0L/366
Engine Order Code NA
SAE Net Torque @ RPM 479 @ 1600
Fuel System EFI
Engine Type Gas W12
Trans Description Cont. Again w/Manual Shift
Fifth Gear Ratio (:1) 0.87
Seventh Gear Ratio (:1) NA
Trans Type 6
Third Gear Ratio (:1) 1.52
Clutch Size (in) NA
Drivetrain All-Wheel Drive
First Gear Ratio (:1) 4.17
Sixth Gear Ratio (:1) 0.69
Trans Description Cont. Automatic
Fourth Gear Ratio (:1) 1.14
Final Drive Axle Ratio (:1) 3.52
Trans Order Code NA
Second Gear Ratio (:1) 2.34
Reverse Ratio (:1) - TBD -
Front Brake Rotor Diam x Thickness (in) - TBD -
Disc - Front (Yes or ) Yes
Rear Drum Diam x Width (in) NA
Brake Type Pwr
Rear Brake Rotor Diam x Thickness (in) - TBD -
Disc - Rear (Yes or ) Yes
Brake ABS System 4-Wheel
Drum - Rear (Yes or ) NA
Turning Diameter - Wall to Wall (ft) - TBD -
Lock to Lock Turns (Steering) - TBD -
Steering Type Speed-Sensitive Pwr
Turning Diameter - Curb to Curb (ft) 36.8
Steering Ratio (:1), Overall - TBD -
Rear Tire Size P275/40R19
Spare Tire Order Code NA
Front Tire Order Code NA
Spare Tire Size Compact
Front Tire Size P275/40R19
Rear Tire Order Code NA
Rear Wheel Material Alloy
Spare Wheel Size (in) Compact
Front Wheel Size (in) 19 x 9
Spare Wheel Material - TBD -
Front Wheel Material Alloy
Rear Wheel Size (in) 19 x 9
Shock Absorber Diameter - Front (mm) - TBD -
Suspension Type - Front (Cont.) NA
Stabilizer Bar Diameter - Rear (in) - TBD -
Suspension Type - Front Independent air
Shock Absorber Diameter - Rear (mm) - TBD -
Suspension Type - Rear (Cont.) NA
Suspension Type - Rear Independent air
Stabilizer Bar Diameter - Front (in) - TBD -
Safety Features
Air Bag-Frontal-Driver Yes
Air Bag-Frontal-Passenger Yes
Air Bag-Passenger Switch (On/Off) No
Air Bag-Side Body-Front Yes
Air Bag-Side Body-Rear Yes
Air Bag-Side Head-Front Yes
Air Bag-Side Head-Rear Yes
Brakes-ABS Yes
Child Safety Rear Door Locks No
Daytime Running Lights No
Traction Control Yes
Night Vision No
Rollover Protection Bars No
Fog Lamps No
Parking Aid Yes
Tire Pressure Monitor Yes
Back-Up Camera No
Stability Control Yes
Other Features 4-wheel antilock braking system
Electronic brake force distribution
Driver & front passenger frontal multistage airbags w/occupant...
Dual front & rear side mounted airbags w/occupant sensors
Front & rear roof airbag (2007)
Front & rear 3-point seat belts w/pre-tensioners
Traction control system
Electronic brake force distribution
Driver & front passenger frontal multistage airbags w/occupant...
Dual front & rear side mounted airbags w/occupant sensors
Front & rear roof airbag (2007)
Front & rear 3-point seat belts w/pre-tensioners
Traction control system
Basic Miles/km Unlimited
Basic Years 3
Corrosion Miles/km Unlimited
Corrosion Years 3
Drivetrain Miles/km Unlimited
Drivetrain Years 3
Roadside Assistance Miles/km Unlimited
Roadside Assistance Years 3
Other Specs
Cooling System
Total Cooling System Capacity (qts) 19.0
Cold Cranking Amps @ 0° F (Primary) - TBD -
Maximum Alternator Capacity (amps) 190
Wt Distributing Hitch - Max Trailer Wt. (lbs) NA
Dead Weight Hitch - Max Trailer Wt. (lbs) - TBD -
Wt Distributing Hitch - Max Tongue Wt. (lbs) NA
Dead Weight Hitch - Max Tongue Wt. (lbs) - TBD -
Looking for other models of the Bentley Continental GT?Read reviews & get prices


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The Authentic Leadership Alliance LLC (ALA) is a consultancy that helps organizations and individuals lead and communicate on purpose – with clarity, conviction and a firm grounding in who they are.
We believe that when a leader, team or organization is authentic and purposeful, they have the potential to achieve extraordinary things. Unlocking that potential is what ALA is all about.
We work with public and private companies, government entities and nonprofit organizations. In addition to our consulting and coaching services, we provide leadership speakers and facilitators for a range of events, conferences and meetings.
Our approach is based on the philosophy that to be most effective, especially in an environment of constant change, leaders and organizations must have a clear understanding of who and what they are – their authenticity. With this as an underpinning, we help clients develop breakthrough leadership and communications strategies. Whether this translates into a core messaging platform, change management strategy, a new approach to stakeholder or team engagement, or an integrated strategic communications plan, ALA helps clients move forward with greater clarity, focus and transparency.
Thanks to our amazing clients:


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This bento is brought to you by the color green! :)
My little lad will surely have the luck o' the Irish with him today with this lunch in hand.... and he's going to need some luck because he insisted on not wearing any green today!
He has sliced green apple and kiwi fruit on the bottom; pickles, Wheat Thin crackers with green cream cheese, a little lucky silicone cup of green treats in the corner (gold coins, green gummy worm, green Skittles).
The little silicone cup is very cute - it has a shamrock imprint inside! :) I am lucky to have an Irish lassie of a friend who acts as my personal bento shopper in California. This was from her last shopping excursion. Lucky, right? Very.
My boy has green ice water (green ice cubes too!) to drink...
I also made green garlic bread (coloring the butter green), but once it was toasted it looked really yucky. I was certain he wouldn't eat it, so I left it out and added in more fruit. I tucked a cereal bar into his lunchbox aside the bento box for good measure in case he needs more to eat. I have a feeling today's lunch is going to be heavy on the goofing off and light on the actual eating, though. ;-)
Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
St. Patrick's Day bento!
Posted by Melissa at 9:26 AM
Labels: green, holiday, sassy box, st. patrick's day, theme
6 comments:
- Bar 7 Ranch said... [Reply to comment]
Love it! Too cute.
- March 17, 2010 at 9:48 AM
Cute, cute, cute. Love it!
- March 17, 2010 at 10:07 AM
- Jenn @ BentoForKidlet said... [Reply to comment]
Looks awesome! What a fun green lunch :D My son was going on and on this morning about how I needed to find his green shirt or he would be pinched!
- March 17, 2010 at 11:52 AM
- Wendy said... [Reply to comment]
Totally cute! I wish my kid would eat all those green foods!
- March 17, 2010 at 12:40 PM
- Moni said... [Reply to comment]
I love your blog! I bookmarked the other day when I came across it on the MTM linky.
- March 17, 2010 at 1:36 PM
- Astrid said... [Reply to comment]
I want a personal Californian Bento shopper! That shamrock silicone cup is way too cute!!!
- March 18, 2010 at 8:21 AM
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)


text: You like to see orgasm. You are excited when you see creampie surprise orgasm? You want to see porn star having orgasm? Our website has for you the best orgasm on the web. Sit down and relax in front of those sexy porn stars. Discover the best pics and tubes in HD. If you like to watch classic porn creampie surprise orgasm, it's also possible. Just choose the one you want for free. Yes, for free! We provide you the best pics for free and without any form of subscription. Hardcore creampie surprise orgasm pics and the hottest porn stars are waiting for you on our website. Click on the one you like....see more


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Reebok utilizes a "Floor to Knee" fit guide to determine the proper leg pad size to meet your needs. To determine your "Floor to Knee" measurement, measure the distance from the floor (in bare feet) to the middle of the knee cap, straight up, knees slightly bent. Find this measurement in the chart below, then look at the number above it to find your pad size.
If fitted properly, the goalie's knee should rest in the center of the knee cradle with the pad securely attached to the goal skate and properly strapped on the goaltender's leg. Generally, this will ensure that the pad breaks (bends) at the knee/shin and ankle as designed for optimal performance.


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Fridon Shubitidze
Associate Professor of Engineering
Associate Professor of Engineering1-603-646-3671
- MS, Radio Physics, Tbilisi State University (Sukhumi branch) 1994
- PhD, Physical and Mathematical Sciences, Tbilisi State University 1997
Research Interests
Numerical methods in computational electromagnetics; electromagnetic sensing methodologies; detection and discrimination of sub-surface objects; linear and non-linear inverse-scattering; induced geo-electromagnetic fields; micro strip antennas; photonic band gaps; near field optics; DNA sequencing; electrostatic discharge; magnetic nano-particles hyperthermia for cancer treatment and imaging
Current Research Projects
- Computational electromagnetics
- Label free genome sequencing
- Magnetic nanoparticles
- Unexploded ordnance (UXO) detection and discrimination
- ENGS 64: Engineering Electromagnetics
Selected Publications
- F. Shubitidze, K. O'Neill, B.E. Barrowes, I. Shamatava, J.P. Fernández, K. Sun and K.D. Paulsen, "Application of the normalized surface magnetic charge model to UXO discrimination in cases with overlapping signals," Journal of Applied Geophysics, September 2006.
- F. Shubitidze, K. O'Neill, I. Shamatava, K. Sun, and K. D. Paulsen, "Fast and accurate calculation of physically complete EMI response by a heterogeneous metallic object," IEEE Transactions on Geoscience and Remote Sensing, volume 43, issue 8, pages 1736-1750, August 2005.
- F. Shubitidze, K. O'Neill, K. Sun, I. Shamatava, and K.D. Paulsen, "A hybrid full MAS and combined MAS-TSA algorithm for broadband electromagnetic induction problem," Applied Computational Electromagnetic Society Journal, pages 112-126, March, 2004.
- F. Shubitidze, K O'Neill, K. Sun, and I. Shamatava, "Coupling between highly conducting and permeable metallic objects in the EMI frequency range," Applied Computational Electromagnetic Society Journal, pages 139-148, March, 2004.
- F. Shubitidze, K. O'Neill, K. Sun, K. D. Paulsen, "Investigation of broadband electromagnetic induction scattering by highly conductive, permeable, arbitrary shaped 3-D objects," IEEE Transactions on Geoscience and Remote Sensing, volume 42, issue 3, pages 540-556, March 2004.
- Presidential scholarship for young scientists (Georgia, 1997-2000)
- State Foundation Scholarship (Greece, 1998-1999)
- NATO Advanced Study Institute, Young Scientists Award (Italy, 2006)
Dartmouth Engineering Professor Fridon Shubitidze Awarded Georgia's Medal of Honor
July 22, 2019
Flower-shaped magnetic nanoparticles may help destroy deep-seated cancer cells
Materials Research Society
March 12, 2015
Flower-like Magnetic Nanoparticles Target Difficult Tumors
AIP Publishing
March 3, 2015
Buried Threat: Military Tests Device to Find Unexploded Bombs
December 8, 2011
Dartmouth engineering professor earns DoD Project-of-the-Year award
November 30, 2011
In Dartmouth Engineer Magazine
150 Thayer Gifts to the World: Part 1
Web Extra, December 2017
Winter 2012
Faculty: Thayer Gains Five New Professors
Winter 2008


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Here's where embarassing corporate backpedalling is a good thing: according to The Verge, the next update for Windows 8 will see every machine boot straight to the desktop mode by default. You know, like we used to, in the good old days.
While there's long been an option to boot straight to the more conventional desktop rather than the tile-based "Metro" UI, "sources familiar with Microsoft's plans" have told The Verge that the operating system's next update will enable this by default.
The Metro's tile interface is pretty neat for tablets and touchscreens, but for regular desktop PCs it's a nightmare. The backtrack is a result of Microsoft's "telemetry" revealing that the biggest percentage of Windows 8's users are old-fashioned desktop + mouse types who use old-fashioned programs, not these new-fangled app things.
If true it's a welcome move, which along with the return of the "Start" button sees the operating system return to the kind of experience desktop users should have had by default in the first place. And while we could be congratulating Microsoft on paying closer attention to the people actually using its products, The Verge highlights another possible reason for the changes: support for Windows XP ends in April, so millions of businesses will be moving to Windows 8. And those people need old-fashioned stuff like Start buttons so they can get stuff done.
Microsoft backpedals: Windows 8.1 update hides tile interface by default [The Verge]


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Israel and Jordan have agreed to build a joint airport near the countries' borders near the Red Sea ports of Eilat and Aqaba that will be operational next year, the Israelis say.
"The heads of the two countries' transportation ministries met this week in Amman and agreed that the new airport be operating for next year, in time for the 2001 tourist season," the Israeli cabinet office said in a release.
The airport will have two terminals, one on Israeli territory, the other on Jordanian, the release said.
Project organizers hope to complete the Jordanian terminal within a year and let the Israelis use it until Israel's terminal is completed.
The Israeli-Jordan peace treaty of October 1994 called for the creation of such a joint airport to serve southern Jordan and the Israeli community of Eilat.
According to the Israeli release, Jordan's King Abdullah II considered the airport during an April 23 visit to Eilat, where he met with Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak, who is serving as interim transportation minister -- OCCUPIED JERUSALEM (AFP)
© 2000 Al Bawaba (www.albawaba.com)


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(The video above was first made available on December 26, 2013. Click for searchable transcript of this Mad Money segment)
If you're looking to put money in technology stocks, Jim Cramer thinks there's something you should know.
Many individual investors approach this sector in a way that's unlikely to generate profits.
That is, they treat tech stocks the same way they treat food and beverage stocks or pharma or even the tobacco companies.
"A tech stock like Skyworks Solutions is not the same as a staple like Pepsico. NVIDIA is not Hershey. SanDisk is not General Mills. ARM Holdings is not Altria, and Micron is not McDonald's," Cramer said. "The first half of these pairs, the tech names like Skyworks and Micron, are trading vehicles that can fly and crash. The second half, the Pepsicos and the Altrias, are staples that plod along slowly but surely," he said.
Therefore, strategies that make all the sense in the world for staples often make no sense at all for tech stocks. In fact, they may be downright dangerous.
"In tech you have to think more like a trader. Cramer said. That is, you have to revisit your thesis often. "And you have to be willing to change your mind. Most important, you have to be ready to sell," Cramer said.


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Marine biologists and conservation groups yesterday launched a signature drive for a petition urging the government to add two endangered bulbous-head fish species to the protected species list.
The petition will ask the Council of Agriculture to add the Napoleonfish and the Bumphead Parrotfish onto the Schedule of Protected Species List under the Wildlife Conservation Act (野生動物保育法).
The Napoleonfish is also known as the humphead wrasse, and its name in Chinese means "dragon king fish." The bumphead parrotfish — Bolbometopon muricatum — is also known as the double-headed parrotfish. Both species are slow growing and long-lived, with delayed reproduction and low rates of replenishment.
"The number of these two fish species still left is lower than the number of Chinese white dolphins in the waters around Taiwan's west coast," Taiwanese Coral Reef Society (TCRS) chairperson Cheng Ming-shou (鄭明修) said.
TCRS secretary-general Chang Ming-lung (張銘隆) said that both the Napoleonfish and the bumphead parrotfish are considered giant species of the marine reef community, and they used to be quite common in the coral reefs near the shores of Taiwan.
However, they are now on the brink of extinction, after many years of unregulated harvesting by fishermen and spear fishing by recreational divers, he said.
"We estimate that there are only about 30 individuals of these two species left, which is less than the 66 recorded for the Chinese white dolphin in the Taiwan Strait," he said.
"The Forestry Bureau held a meeting to discuss adding these two fish species to the Schedule of Protected Species List. However, Department of Fisheries officials thought there was insufficient data for assessment. So more data will need to be provided, and this issue will be put on the agenda of next month's Wildlife Protection Advisory Committee meeting," the head of the Forestry Bureau's Protected Species Division, Guang Li-hao (管立豪), said.
It is quite alarming that it has been more than 10 years since a single Napoleonfish or bumphead parrotfish was sighted in the marine reef territories surrounding Taiwan and its offshore islands of Green Island, Lanyu (蘭嶼) and Penghu and recorded in the survey conducted by his organization, Chang said.
TCRS have sent letters to the Conservation Division of the Forestry Bureau, requesting to place Napoleonfish and bumphead parrotfish onto the Schedule of Protected Species List.
"My research programs focus on the waters around Kenting (墾丁) and the Pratas Islands (Dongsha Islands, 東沙群島). During my diving expeditions over the past decade, I have rarely spotted the Napoleonfish," said Chen Cheng-ping (陳正平), a Taiwan Ocean Research Institute researcher.
Cheng, who is a researcher at the Biodiversity Research Center of Academia Sinica, said the Napoleonfish was the largest fish in the nation's coral reef ecosystem, and can weigh up to 200kg.
However, due to overfishing, "most Napoleonfish have been eaten. We hardly see them anymore in the waters surrounding Taiwan," he said.
"The bumphead parrotfish is easy prey for fishermen, because it has a fixed habitat and keeps regular sleeping hours," Cheng said.
Both of these species are excellent attractions that pull in tourists and divers to renowned tourist spots in coastal recreational parks around the world and protected marine areas around tropical islands, he said.


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2007 saw the introduction of the OpenFOAM International Conference in London by ICON. The event brought together users, developers, academics and industry managers. More than 100 delegates from over 25 countries assembled to hear presentations and exchange views on topics ranging from multi-phase flow to industrial optimisation enabled by the versatile OPENFOAM toolbox.
The event highlighted new and unique capabilities of OpenFOAM® and showed how CAE is advancing through adoption of the software.
Who attended?
- Existing OPENFOAM Users
- CFD Engineers seeking to investigate OpenFOAM
- Industry Managers and IT Implementers
- Academia
- Technology Consultants
The papers presented were from industrial and academic contributors. Key note addresses were provided by Henry Weller of OpenCFD® Ltd. who discussed Aspects of OpenFOAM, Dr. Moni Islam of AUDI AG who addressed the Automatic Optimization of a Cooling Duct using OpenFoam and sharing the platform was ICON who presented the Integration of OpenFOAM into Industrial CAE Processes.
Full proceedings are available here.
Do you have any questions? Do you need our support?
Click below to start a conversation with us.


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The Medical Device Research Institute (MDRI) is a uniquely multi-disciplinary research network that aims to be the national research leader in the medical devices industry. The MDRI is a network of researchers, highly skilled in the development and application of a diverse range of medical technologies. This collaborative approach to the research for innovative solutions and services makes the MDRI ideal as a single site for product development and testing - taking projects from fundamental concepts right through to preliminary clinical trialing.
The MDRI includes more than fifty researchers and clinicians from Flinders University, Flinders Medical Centre and the Repatriation General Hospital. The MDRI collaborates in research, development, application and commercialisation of medical devices and technologies to benefit the community.
More information can be found through the following links:
Research programs
Within the Institute we have a number of long-term research programs that staff, visitors and higher degree research students contribute to.
- Assistive Technologies
- Biomechanics and Implants
- Health Informatics
- Medical Devices and Instrumentation
- Medical Signals and Imaging
- Medical Simulation and Modelling
Associated undergraduate awards
The following undergraduate awards link directly to research within this Centre.
- Bachelor of Engineering (Biomedical)
- Bachelor of Engineering (Biomedical)/Master of Engineering (Biomedical)
- Bachelor of Engineering (Mechanical)/Master of Engineering (Biomedical)
Recent grant successes
- Reynolds, K. J., Fazzalari, N., Bottema, M., Hearn, T. C. and Cleek, T. M. (2006-2008). Bone remodelling algorithm. ARC Discovery: $270,000.
- Reynolds, K., Owen, H. and Williamson, P. (2007-2009). ISim – a realistic intubation simulator using Virtual Reality technology. ARC Linkage: $195,000.
- Voelcker, N., Shapter, J. and Reynolds, K. (2007-2009). Development of an implantable device to monitor lactate levels in blood. ARC Linkage: $255,000.
- Reynolds, K. J. (2008-2011). Medical Device Partnering Program. Premier's Science & Research Fund: $625,000.
- Reynolds, K. J. (2009-2011). The GPRWF endoscopic sinus surgery simulator. Garnett Passe & Rodney Williams Memorial Foundation: $300,000.
- Reynolds, K., Costi, J., Fazzalari, N., Bottema, M. and Kotousov, A. (2010-2012). Project Grant Development and validation of a finite element model for orthopaedic screw insertion into trabecular bone. NH&MRC: $466,325.
Further information
We would be happy to provide more information about the School's research programs, the opportunities for higher degree study and scholarship information. For more information, please contact the Institute Director - Professor Karen Reynolds - or the coordinators of the research program you are interested in.


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by Tyler Peck, sports information graduate assistant
MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga.- Both the Georgia College & State University men's and women's cross country teams ranked in the Top-10 in the U.S. Cross Country Coaches Division II Southeast Regional Rankings. The poll came out today, Sept. 9, three days after both teams finished third in the Georgia College Pre-Conference Meet.
Three teams from the Peach Belt Conference (PBC) rounded out the top-10 in the Men's Southeast Regional Rankings. The Georgia College Bobcats are ranked seventh. At the beginning of the season, the Bobcats were in the No. 8 spot.
The women's cross country was one of five PBC teams to rank in the top 10. The Bobcats ranked sixth in the Southeast Regional Rankings. Recently, at the Georgia College Pre-Conference Meet, Karissa Ekstrom (Alpharetta, Ga.) finished 10th with teammate Heather Raines (Loganville, Ga.) at 13th.
The men's course was an 8K distance, as these Bobcats were also led by some fresh faces. The top four Georgia College finishers each set personal bests. Freshman Colin Conroy (Dacula, Ga.) finished 14th in 27:49, as classmate Rob Manning (Lawrenceville, Ga.) crossed the line just seven seconds later in 15th.
The Bobcats are back in action in Wingate, N.C. Saturday, Sept. 13 at the Pre-Region Meet hosted by Wingate University.
Visit www.GCSU.edu/Athletics to nominate your favorite former Bobcats and Colonials to the GCSU Athletics Hall of Fame. The GCSU Department of Athletics sponsors 10 varsity athletic programs at the NCAA Division II level. As a Division II program, GCSU prides itself on balancing the life of the student-athlete, evidenced by the Bobcats' multiple appearances in post-season competition as well as documented academic success and community-service involvement.


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Validation workshop offers upbeat assessment of Envisat's instruments
"We now have the tools to provide many, many good things for European science," summarized Envisat Mission Manager Henri Laur in wrapping up last week's workshop that reviewed whether the satellite's 10 advanced sensors operate as billed.
The Envisat Validation Workshop, held 9-13 December at ESA's ESRIN facility in Frascati, Italy, brought together more than 400 scientists and engineers from Europe's leading universities and research institutions for a series of instrument-specific analyses of the exhaustive series of tests that have been run on each of Envisat's sensors since the spacecraft was launched in March.
The workshop participants represented the 200 "principal investigators," or PIs, from the European science community working with ESA to calibrate the Envisat instruments and ensure that the data coming from the sensors match those from other ground-, air- and space-based instruments. This process of calibrating satellite instruments and verifying their accuracy is critical to the delivery of reliable data and the subsequent scientific research based on the information.
Instrument validation teams reviewed each of the Envisat sensors and recommended, as needed, instrument re-calibrations and further modifications to the computer algorithms handling the actual processing of the data as the information is returned to Earth.
"What we try to determine in this process are what modifications are needed before products are released to the scientific community and develop a preliminary list of recommendations for the product finalisation," said Pascal Lecomte, head of ESA's Sensor Performance and Product Assessment (SPPA) section and chairman for the workshop's final plenary session.
"It's not a glamorous part of space research," added a workshop participant. "But it's a crucial one, if we're going to trust the data we see from the satellite later on."
In addition to the 200 PIs involved in this "Cal/Val" process for Envisat, a further 250 PIs out of an overall total of over 700 are already involved in the Envisat program.
"Judging from the large number of requests for data, there's plenty of enthusiasm from Europe's science community for the Envisat program," Laur said.
Envisat product levels
Of the 73 data products to be distributed on an operational basis from all Envisat instruments, Laur said the workshop's assessment was that most of them are ready for operational delivery of data.
Envisat's data products are divided into three categories – Level 0, 1 or 2 – depending on the amount of processing needed to transform raw satellite data (Level 0) needed to correct geographical distortions from the satellite's angle looking down at the Earth (Level 1) to more sophisticated datasets that provide actual measurements of a geographical or physical phenomena (Level 2), for instance, the concentrations of ozone in a region of the atmosphere.
Envisat has been delivering 28 types of Level 1 products from the Advanced Synthetic Aperture Radar (ASAR) since September, together with those from other mature Envisat instruments, such as the Radar Altimeter 2 (RA-2), Laur added.
Early ASAR anomalies have been resolved, pending verification of one final software patch, said Betlem Rosich Tell, ASAR Engineer in ESA's SSPA section. "As of today, all products are to be released," she said. "The overall quality of the instrument is very good."
RA-2 tests use buoys and oil platform
To validate the RA-2 instrument, which can provide measurements of sea and ice heights, tests were conducted comparing data from the sensor against those from coastal buoys of the coast of Spain, reported Mònica Roca, RA-2/MWR System Performance Engineer. Long-term monitoring of the instruments' performance will be conducted using equipment mounted on an abandoned oil platform near Casablanca in the Mediterranean Sea, and wave height information will also be compared against similar data from ESA's ERS-2 satellite.
"Performance of the RA-2 has been excellent," Roca said.
Presenting the report from the group examining AATSR that measures land and ocean surface temperatures by scanning at several infrared and visible frequencies, Marianne Edwards of the University of Leicester's Space Research Centre in the UK, described how sensor data were compared with information from a global network of sea buoys and comparable data from other spacecraft.
"The sensor met accuracy requirements for sea surface temperatures to within plus or minus .3 Kelvins, well within specifications," Edwards said.
Validation work on the instrument will continue in 2003 in other geographic regions, including Australia, the Arctic and the Arabian Sea, she added.
Probably the most novel and innovative of all the instruments on board Envisat is the Scanning Imaging Absorption Spectrometer for Atmospheric Chartography (SCIAMACHY) instrument. Results from Sciamachy show that in its initial operations errors found in Level 1 products related to the instrument calibration "are propagating into Level 2 products," said Ankie Piters, with the Royal Netherlands Meteorologic Institute (KNMI). "Operational products do not meet the required accuracy."
Additional calibration recommended for SCIAMACHY
Piters said that the SCIAMACHY sensor group recommended additional work on calibrating the instrument and additional updates to the algorithms. In spite of the initial drawbacks, she said that the scientific community remains confident that the ambitious targets set for the data from SCIAMACHY will be met. "We hope to do some very nice science with this," she said.
At the meeting's final session, representatives from other sensor working groups also provided their summaries on validation progress to date, and recommendations for further work, including:
• Medium Resolution Imaging Spectrometer (MERIS)
"MERIS is in very good shape, with very few problems," reported Philippe Goryl, MERIS Engineer in the SSPA section of ESA. Inflight spectral characterisation results showed "unprecedented accuracy," he said, adding that geophysical products including cloud and water vapour, along with cloud optical thickness, need additional statistical analysis. Three validation campaigns were conducted over Berlin in November to cross-check the accuracy of MERIS data against the findings from aircraft-mounted sensors, with a follow-up campaign planned for May.
• Michelson Interferometer for Passive Atmospheric Sounding (MIPAS)
By observing the Earth's atmosphere in the middle infrared range, the MIPAS sensor can map various trace gases to provide profiles, for instance, of industrial pollution and greenhouse gases for better insights into atmospheric chemistry. MIPAS Level 1 datasets "meet or exceed specifications," reported Herbert Nett, ESA's MIPAS System Analysis Engineer.
Nett described the series of tests to validate MIPAS and other sensor data through a series of balloon flights that sampled atmospheric gases at the same time Envisat passed over the test area. Comparison of the results showed a "strong correlation between the balloon and MIPAS results," Nett explained.
The MIPAS working group recommended the release of Level 1 products and additional improvements to Level 2 products by February to correct for the affect of cloud cover at altitudes below 20 km, Nett added.
• Global Ozone Monitoring by Occultation of Stars (GOMOS)
Odile Fanton d'Andon with ACRI-ST, a French environmental research and consulting organization, reported that the GOMOS sensor to measure water vapour and ozone levels by tracking starlight through the Earth's atmosphere. For ozone measurements, Fanton d'Andon said, GOMOS provides an excellent mean profile, with no biases detected compared with lidar measurements, and less than ten percent compared with other data sources. The working group recommended, she added, improvements to the GOMOS algorithms, updated Level 2 products, and continued validation work.
Validation activities to continue through Envisat's lifetime
Although the main validation phase for Envisat's instruments will be completed next year, ongoing validation products will continue throughout the lifetime of the Envisat mission," ESA's Lecomte told attendees.
"We expect to see continual improvements to the instruments and algorithms," he said. "We want to give you the best product we can."


text:
Inert land mines did not make it pass security at Salt Lake City International Airport two weeks ago.
Four flights were delayed for about 20 minutes after Transportation Security Officials found the four land mines in luggage, reports The Associated Press.
TSA officials say that the disabled explosives were bought as souvenirs by a member of the military who was training in Utah. They were determined to be not dangerous.
No charges are expected and the passenger was allowed to board the plane.


text:
Dennys Funny Quotes: Laugh at life, politics, the universe: irreverent, satire, photos, cartoons and funny videos.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Funny Quotes From Curmudgeons: These Guys Need to Lighten Up!
From Denny: OK, how many of you grew up with pessimists like I did in the family, at school and in the workplace? They can be real downers. Now, I'm not talking about the realists or the pragmatists; I'm talking about the "woe is me" everything-is-impossible kind of guy who just wears you out with their negativity.
So, what to do when you feel like you are going to fall into their dark abyss and want to keep your balance around these kinds of people? Easy. First you hike on over here to Dennys Funny Quotes (yay! shameless self-promotion!) and get yourself a laugh or two to fortify you for the day and then you chill out and find all this silly negativity amusing like I do. I mean, really, some of these folks need to go get an attitude adjustment. Hey, if meds does it - then stock up, please. Some of these quotes are delightfully cheeky, enjoy!
* I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that! - Tom Lehrer
* Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. - Mark Twain
* The optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose. ~ Kahlil Gabran
* An optimist will tell you the glass is half-full; the pessimist, half-empty; and the engineer will tell you the glass is twice the size it needs to be. - Unknown
* Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both. ~ Oscar Wilde
* I had a lover's quarrel with the world. ~ Robert Frost, The Lesson for Today, 1942
* It's just life - wake up and smell the thorns. ~ From the movie Meet Joe Black
* Paradoxical as it sounds, many intellectuals prefer life in the mud to life in clear water. ~ Martin H. Fischer
* The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs. ~ Charles de Gaulle
* Oftentimes, when people are miserable, they will want to make other people miserable, too. But it never helps. ~ Lemony Snicket
* Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation. ~ James Thurber, Further Fables for Our Time, 1956
* God made everything out of nothing. But the nothingness shows through. ~ Paul Valéry, Mauvaises pensées et autres, 1942
* How I wish that somewhere there existed an island for those who are wise and of good will. ~ Albert Einstein
* A satirist is a man who discovers unpleasant things about himself and then says them about other people. ~ Peter McArthur
* There is nothing so pitiful as a young cynic because he has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. ~ Maya Angelou, PBS, 28 March 1988
* I grieve for life's bright promise, just shown and then withdrawn. ~ William Cullen Bryant
* Perhaps if we saw what was ahead of us, and glimpsed the crimes, follies, and misfortunes that would befall us later on, we would all stay in our mother's wombs, and then there would be nobody in the world but a great number of very fat, very irritated women. ~ Lemony Snicket
* Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth. ~ Horace Walpole
* Man is the cruelest animal. At tragedies, bullfights, and crucifixions he has so far felt best on earth; and when he invented hell for himself, behold, that was his very heaven. ~ Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spake Zarathustra, 1892
* I never knew whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses. ~ William Makepeace Thackeray
Photo by Tambako the Jaguar @ flickr - Creative Commons with attribution
* All our lives we are putting pennies - our most golden pennies - into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty. ~ Logan Pearsall Smith
* The enthusiastic, to those who are not, are always something of a trial. ~ Alban Goodier
* If there be a hell upon earth, it is to be found in a melancholy man's heart. ~ Robert Burton, The Anatomy of Melancholy
* Many of us go through life feeling as an actor might feel who does not like his part, and does not believe in the play. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
* The mad are happy, the sane ignorant; those of us stuck on the sane side of madness or the mad fringe of sanity are in a purgatorial cage. ~ Anonymous
* I do not believe in revealed religion - I will have nothing to do with your immortality; we are miserable enough in this life, without speculating on another. ~ Lord Byron, 1778-1824, letter to Rev. Francis Hodgson, 1811
* The only thing that could spoil a day was people. People were always the limiters of happiness except for the very few that were as good as spring itself. ~ Ernest Hemingway
* Idealism is what precedes experience; cynicism is what follows. ~ David T. Wolf
* My mind's terrain has become exceedingly rough. Emotional scars are changing my internal geography faster than the mapmaker can keep pace. Wrong turns and dead ends abound, and I'm afraid someday I'll drown in a river I didn't know was there. ~ D.H. Mondfleur
* It must be admitted that there are some parts of the soul which we must entirely paralyze before we can live happily in this world. ~ Sébastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort
* Happy endings are only stories that haven't finished yet. ~ Simon Kinberg, Mr. & Mrs. Smith
* Youth is a blunder; Manhood a struggle; Old Age: a regret. ~ Benjamin Disraeli, Coningsby
* You're obliged to pretend respect for people and institutions you think absurd. You live attached in a cowardly fashion to moral and social conventions you despise, condemn, and know lack all foundation. It is that permanent contradiction between your ideas and desires and all the dead formalities and vain pretenses of your civilization which makes you sad, troubled and unbalanced. In that intolerable conflict you lose all joy of life and all feeling of personality, because at every moment they suppress and restrain and check the free play of your powers. That's the poisoned and mortal wound of the civilized world. ~ Octave Mirbeau, Torture Garden
* I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me. ~ Fred Allen
* Janie's a pretty typical teenager - angry, insecure, confused. I wish I could tell her that's all going to pass, but I don't want to lie to her. ~ Alan Ball, American Beauty, 1999
* Comfort, or revelation: God owes us one of these, but surely not both. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
* I see it all perfectly: there are two possibilities, one can either do this or do that. My honest opinion and friendly advice is this: do it or do not do it, you will regret both. ~ Kierkegaard
* The world bruises us all, but some heal faster than others - and some bleed to death. ~ D.H. Mondfleur
* The army of wrongness rampant in the world might as well march over me. ~ Truman Capote, Breakfast at Tiffany's, 1958
* The dignity of man lies in his ability to face reality in all its meaninglessness. ~ Martin Esslin
Photo of Cocoa the dachsund by nao-cha @ flickr - Creative Commons with attribution, no commercial use
* We are adhering to life now with our last muscle - the heart. ~ Djuna Barnes
* He had an astringent spirit, the sort of fellow who uses dehydrated onion when the recipe calls for fresh, not because he's out but solely on principle. ~ Emme Woodhull-Bäche
* Sometimes you wake up in the morning and wish your parents had never met. ~ Bill Fitch
* Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know. ~ Ernest Hemingway
* We semaphore from ship to ship, but they're sinking, too. ~ Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
* He had the uneasy manner of a man who is not among his own kind, and who has not seen enough of the world to feel that all people are in some sense his own kind. ~ Willa Cather
* I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. It is the only pleasure I have left. ~ Voltaire
* Things are not as bad as they seem. They are worse. ~ Bill Press
Men hate to be misunderstood, and to be understood makes them furious. ~ Edgar Saltus
* We can destroy ourselves by cynicism and disillusion, just as effectively as by bombs. ~ Kenneth Clark
* * * (Love the irony in this one) The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people. ~ G.K. Chesterton
* I hate to be near the sea, and to hear it raging and roaring like a wild beast in its den. It puts me in mind of the everlasting efforts of the human mind, struggling to be free and ending just where it began. ~ William Hazlitt
* Oh, that this too too solid flesh would melt, thaw and resolve itself into a dew. ~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet
* Nothing is more miserable than man, Of all upon the earth that breathes and creeps. ~ Homer, Iliad
* The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it. ~ George Bernard Shaw
* Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? Is it because we are not the person involved? ~ Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894
* Of the demonstrably wise there are but two: those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied by drink. ~ Mark Twain, Note-Book, 1935
* Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own. ~ Jonathan Swift, The Battle of the Books, 1704
* Life is one long process of getting tired. ~ Samuel Butler
When we are born, we cry that we are come to this great stage of fools. ~ William Shakespeare, King Lear
* I put the question directly to myself: "Suppose that all your objects in life were realized; that all the changes in institutions and opinions which you are looking forward to, could be completely effected at this very instant: would this be a great joy and happiness to you?" And an irrepressible self-consciousness distinctly answered, "No!" ~John Stuart Mill, Autobiography, 1909
I've always been interested in people, but I've never liked them. ~ W. Somerset Maugham
* A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing. ~ Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan, 1893
* There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness and death. ~ Fran Lebowitz
These silly quotes are a total scream!
* Sarcasm is the sour cream of wit. ~ Anonymous
* A cynic is a person searching for an honest man, with a stolen lantern. ~ Edgar A. Shoaff
* There are people who have an appetite for grief; pleasure is not strong enough and they crave pain. They have mithridatic stomachs which must be fed on poisoned bread, natures so doomed that no prosperity can sooth their ragged and dishevelled desolation. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
* I love mankind - its people I can't stand. ~ Charles M. Schulz, Go Fly a Kite, Charlie Brown
* I don't answer the phone. I get the feeling whenever I do that there will be someone on the other end. ~ Fred Couples
* It is not a fragrant world. ~ Raymond Chandler
*** ALSO for more laughs:
Roundup of Late Night Funnies 1 Feb 2010
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel free to leave a comment, a big shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
Posted by Unknown at 4:40 PM Links to this post
humor, funny, comedy, politics, funny-video curmudgeons, funny animal photos, funny negative quotes, funny quotes
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Funny Editorial Cartoons This Week 30 Jan 2010
From Denny: This has been an interesting week. The State of the Union address by President Obama basically summed up how the Republicans have been screwing over the entire country in every aspect of our lives and how much fun the Republicans have had screwing over Prez Obama at every turn while he continues to be inclusive and gracious to them.
Let's see, then our very own highest court in the land decided to screw over the American people by letting loose the floodgates of the greedy Big Business monopolies to fund elections and completely control the politicians elected. Granted, the corrupt basically control most of the politicians, all of the Republicans and far too many of the Democrats.
And the most recent group to get screwed over? The print publishing industry. Those adorable hold-in-your-hand books may soon be no more. Why anyone is shocked is the surprise. Come on; we all grew up on Star Trek and Sy-Fy spin-off shows where they featured hand-held computers and digital books decades before computers were any smaller than a football field, filling whole cavernous rooms like over at NASA. Of course, comparing Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, to God is a bit of a stretch - OK, it's downright creepy. :)
Take a look and chuckle for the day at how the cartoonists responded to this week's news stories:
Obama's State of the Union:
See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
The Obama Scream vs. Big Banks
See Cartoons by Cartoon by Patrick Chappatte - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
Screwed by the Supreme Court that is supposed to guard our liberties:
And the latest tech toy the iPad:
See Cartoons by Cartoon by Patrick Corrigan - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
Can it be the death of print books as we know it?
OK, this one is a little scary...
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel free to leave a comment, a big thank you and shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
Let's see, then our very own highest court in the land decided to screw over the American people by letting loose the floodgates of the greedy Big Business monopolies to fund elections and completely control the politicians elected. Granted, the corrupt basically control most of the politicians, all of the Republicans and far too many of the Democrats.
And the most recent group to get screwed over? The print publishing industry. Those adorable hold-in-your-hand books may soon be no more. Why anyone is shocked is the surprise. Come on; we all grew up on Star Trek and Sy-Fy spin-off shows where they featured hand-held computers and digital books decades before computers were any smaller than a football field, filling whole cavernous rooms like over at NASA. Of course, comparing Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, to God is a bit of a stretch - OK, it's downright creepy. :)
Take a look and chuckle for the day at how the cartoonists responded to this week's news stories:
Obama's State of the Union:
See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
The Obama Scream vs. Big Banks
See Cartoons by Cartoon by Patrick Chappatte - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
Screwed by the Supreme Court that is supposed to guard our liberties:
And the latest tech toy the iPad:
See Cartoons by Cartoon by Patrick Corrigan - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
Can it be the death of print books as we know it?
OK, this one is a little scary...
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel free to leave a comment, a big thank you and shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
Posted by Unknown at 9:10 AM Links to this post
humor, funny, comedy, politics, funny-video Apple computers, cartoons, editorial cartoons, iPad, Obama, political cartoons, politics, publishing industry, state of the union address, Steve Jobs, Supreme Court rulings
Friday, January 29, 2010
15 Wild Cartoons on Prez Obamas 1st Year in Office
From Denny: Check out the cartoons that will probably go down in history since this is the first year of Obama's term as the first African-American President. They rum the gamut from snarky to sympathetic. From referencing The Godfather movie to wishing and hoping for a blockbuster economy - and the Republicans suddenly becoming cooperative is a done deal "when pigs fly."
See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
See Cartoons by Cartoon by Petar Pismestrovic - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, a big shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
See Cartoons by Cartoon by David Fitzsimmons - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
See Cartoons by Cartoon by Petar Pismestrovic - Courtesy of Politicalcartoons.com - Email this Cartoon
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, a big shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
Posted by Unknown at 8:16 PM Links to this post
humor, funny, comedy, politics, funny-video Barack Obama, cartoons, funny, funny political cartoons, obamas first year in office
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- A genius is one who can do anything except make a living. - Joey Lauren Adams
- A genius is one who shoots at something no one else can see - and hits it. - Anonymous
- A great many people think that polysyllables are a sign of intelligence. - Barbara Walters
- A harmless hilarity and a buoyant cheerfulness are not infrequent concomitants of genius; and we are never more deceived than when we mistake gravity for greatness, solemnity for science, and pomposity for erudition. - Charles Caleb Colton
- Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage - to move in the opposite direction. - E.F. Schumacker
- Character is higher than intellect. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Coffee is good for talent, but genius wants prayer. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Common sense is instinct. Enough of it is genius. - George Bernard Shaw
- Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire
- Every man is a potential genius - until he does something. - Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree
- Every man of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lynd
- Every person of genius is considerably helped by being dead. - Robert S. Lun
- Every true genius is bound to be naive. - J.C.F. von Schiller
- Everyone is a genius at least once a year. The real geniuses simply have their bright ideas closer together. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
- Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense. - Josh Billings
- Genius is an African who dreams up snow. - Vladimir Nabokov
- Genius is more often found in a cracked pot than in a whole one. - E.B. White
- Genius is nothing but a great aptitude for patience. - George-Louis de Buffon
- Genius lasts longer than Beauty. That accounts for the fact that we all take such pains to over-educate ourselves. - Oscar Wilde
- Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The trouble-makers. The round heads in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status-quo. You can quote them. Disagree with them. Glorify, or vilify them. But the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do. - Apple Computer
- His genius he was quite content in one brief sentence to define; Of inspiration one percent, of perspiration, ninety nine. - Thomas A. Edison
- I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly. - Buckminster Fuller
- I can't tell you if genius is hereditary, because heaven has granted me no offspring. - James McNeill Whistler
- I must have a prodigious quantity of mind; it takes me as much as a week sometimes to make it up. - Mark Twain, "The Innocents Abroad"
- I think the world is run by C students. - Al McGuire
- I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent, of human knowledge, that has ever been gathered together at the White House, with the possible exception of when Thomas Jefferson dined alone. - John F. Kennedy, in an address to Nobel Prize winners
- I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly Parton
- If children grew up according to early indications, we should have nothing but geniuses. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
- If the Aborigine drafted an I.Q. test, all of Western civilization would presumably flunk it. - Stanley Garn
- If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn't. - Emerson M. Pugh
- In every work of genius, we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self Reliance," Essays, 1841
- Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence. - Ambrose Bierce
- Man becomes man only by his intelligence, but he is man only by his heart. - Henri Frederic Amiel
- Men of genius are meteors destined to burn themselves out in lighting up their age. - Napoleon Bonaparte, Discours de Lyon, 1771
- Passion holds up the bottom of the universe and genius paints up its roof. - Chao Chang
- Perhaps imagination is only intelligence having fun. - George Scialabra
- Primitive does not mean stupid. - Anonymous
- Since when was genius found respectable? - Elizabeth Barrett Browning
- Some people take more care to hide their wisdom than their folly. - Jonathan Swift, Thoughts on Various Subjects, 1711
- Sometimes, indeed, there is such a discrepancy between the genius and his human qualities that one has to ask oneself whether a little less talent might not have been better. - Carl Jung
- Talent is that which is in a man's power; genius is that in whose power a man is. - James Russell Lowell, Literary Essays
- The course of every intellectual, if he pursues his journey long and unflinchingly enough, ends in the obvious, from which the non-intellectuals have never stirred. - Aldous Huxley
- The difference between intelligence and education is this: intelligence will make you a good living. - Charles F. Kettering
- The invention of IQ does a great disservice to creativity in education. - Joel Hildebrand
- The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius. - Oscar Wilde
- The reluctance to put away childish things may be a requirement of genius. - Rebecca Pepper Sinkler
- There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have. - Don Herold
- This is the nature of genius, to be able to grasp the knowable even when no one else recognizes that it is present. - Deepak Chopra
- Thousands of geniuses live and die undiscovered - either by themselves or by others. - Mark Twain
- We know that the nature of genius is to provide idiots with ideas twenty years later. - Louis Aragon
- We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow. - President Woodrow Wilson
- We should take care not to make the intellect our god; it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality. - Albert Einstein
- What a distressing contrast there is between the radiant intelligence of the child and the feeble mentality of the average adult. - Sigmund Freud
- When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. - Jonathan Swift
- Nobody can give you wiser advice than yourself. - Cicero
- A good scare is worth more to a man than good advice. - Edgar Watson Howe, Country Town Sayings, 1911
- I always pass on good advice. It's the only thing to do with it. It is never any use to oneself. - Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband, 1895
- Sometimes I give myself admirable advice, but I am incapable of taking it. - Mary Wortley Montagu
- I never had a man come to me for advice yet, but what I soon discovered that he thought more of his own opinion than he did of mine. - Josh Billings
- No one wants advice - only corroboration. - John Steinbeck, The Winter of Our Discontent
- It is more easy to be wise for others than for ourselves. - François Duc de La Rochefoucauld
- We hate to have some people give us advice because we know how badly they need it themselves. - Anonymous
- The best way to succeed in life is to act on the advice we give to others. - Anonymous
- When we ask advice we are usually looking for an accomplice. - Charles Varlet de La Grange, Pensées, 1872
- Old men are fond of giving good advice, to console themselves for being no longer in a position to give bad examples. - François La Rochefoucauld
- The best advice is this: Don't take advice and don't give advice. - Anonymous
- When a man comes to me for advice, I find out the kind of advice he wants, and I give it to him. - Henry Wheeler Shaw, a.k.a. Josh Billings
- Some people like my advice so much that they frame it upon the wall instead of using it. - Gordon R. Dickson
- Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. - Erica Jong, How to Save Your Own Life, 1977
- There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff
- Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already. - Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688
- The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957
- If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe
- There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark
- Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton
- Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher
- Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller
- Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969
- Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960
- Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto
- Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben
- There are only two things a child will share willingly - communicable diseases and his mother's age. - Benjamin Spock, Dr. Spock's Baby and Child Care, 1945
- A child seldom needs a good talking to as a good listening to. - Robert Brault
- It is not easy to be crafty and winsome at the same time, and few accomplish it after the age of six. - John W. Gardner and Francesca Gardner Reese
- What is a home without children? Quiet. - Henny Youngman
- While we try to teach our children all about life, Our children teach us what life is all about. - Angela Schwindt
- Little girls are cute and small only to adults. To one another they are not cute. They are life-sized. - Margaret Atwood
- The prime purpose of being four is to enjoy being four - of secondary importance is to prepare for being five. - Jim Trelease, The Read-Aloud Handbook, 1985
- In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children. - Robert Benchley
- A child is a curly dimpled lunatic. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- A little girl is sugar and spice and everything nice - especially when she's taking a nap. - Anonymous
- Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said. - Anonymous (maybe Art Linkletter?)
- There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
- Like fruit, children are sweetest just before they turn bad. - Dena Groquet
- Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
- Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. - Not Your Average Dictionary
- Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they're going to catch you in next. - Franklin P. Jones
- In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults. - Thomas Szasz
- You are worried about seeing him spend his early years in doing nothing. What! Is it nothing to be happy? Nothing to skip, play, and run around all day long? Never in his life will he be so busy again. - Jean-Jacques Rousseau, Emile, 1762
- Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man. - Rabindranath Tagore
- Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky. - Fran Lebowitz
- Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see. - John W. Whitehead, The Stealing of America, 1983
- Kids: they dance before they learn there is anything that isn't music. - William Stafford
- A child can ask questions that a wise man cannot answer. - Anonymous
- Children need love, especially when they do not deserve it. - Harold Hulbert
- We've had bad luck with our kids - they've all grown up. - Christopher Morley
- A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn't act that way very often. - Anonymous
- You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance. - Franklin P. Jones
- We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today. - Stacia Tauscher
About Humor
- The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Anonymous
- I think the next best thing to solving a problem is finding some humor in it. - Frank Howard Clark
- I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humor. - Edward Albee
- Humor is the instinct for taking pain playfully. - Max Eastman
- Humor is the affectionate communication of insight. - Leo Rosten
- Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth. - Citor Borge
- Humor is richly rewarding to the person who employs it. It has some value in gaining and holding attention, but it has no persuasive value at all. - John Kenneth Galbraith
- A sense of humor... is needed armor. Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips is a sign that the person down deep has a pretty good grasp of life. - Hugh Sidey
- A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself. - Jessammyn West
- A well-developed sense of humor is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life. - William A. Ward
- Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. - Sid Caesar
- Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing. - William James
- Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven. - Mark Twain
- Humor brings insight and tolerance. Irony brings a deeper and less friendly understanding. - Agnes Repplier
- Humor is just another defense against the universe. - Mel Brooks
- Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. - Irvin S. Cobb
- Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Christopher Morley
- Humor is reason gone mad. - Groucho Marx
- A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself. - Clifton Paul Fadiman
- A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles. - Mignon McLaughlin
- A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted by every pebble on the road. - Henry Ward Beecher
- A joke is a very serious thing. - Winston Churchill
Birthday Quotes
- Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. - Tom Wilson
- Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. - Jennifer Yane
- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. - Larry Lorenzoni
- May you live to be a hundred years - With one extra year to repent.
- The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. - Lucille Ball
- Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. - Jean Paul Richter
- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. - Robert Frost
- I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now.
- You're not 40, you're eighteen with 22 years experience.
- I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. - George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
- Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
- Youth is a disease from which we all recover. - Dorothy Fulheim
- First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. - Branch Rickey
- Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. - Bob Hope
- Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. - Truman Capote
- Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. - Dan Bennett
- Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. - Charles Schulz
- They say that age is all in your mind. The trick is keeping it from creeping down into your body.
- When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. - Mark Twain
- The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. - Jerry M. Wright
- Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. - George Bernard Shaw
- Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair. - Sam Ewing
- Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. - Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
- We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.
- A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip.
- There is still no cure for the common birthday. - John Glenn
- Birthdays are like girlfriends, they come and go-unless you enjoy them.
- Growing old is mandatory but growing up is optional. - Chili Davis
- To me, old age is always 20 years older than I am.
- You are only young once, but you can be immature for a lifetime.
- If I'd known I was going to live this long, I'd have taken better care of myself.
- Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative.
- Birthdays are nature's way of telling us to eat more cake.
- Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed.
- The best birthdays of all are those that haven't arrived yet.
- Looking fifty is great - if you're sixty.
- I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- If we could be twice young and twice old we could correct all our mistakes.
- After 30, a body has a mind of its own.
- Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them.
- Men are like wine: some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age.
- It is true that I was born in Iowa, but I can't speak for my twin sister.
- When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
- Live as long as you may. The first twenty years are the longest half of your life.
- When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time I'm five I'll be 64.
- Thirty five is a very attractive age; London society is full of women who have of their own free choice remained thirty-five for years.
- Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese.
- About the only thing that comes to us without effort is old age.
- Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty.
- Great men are rarely isolated mountain peaks; they are the summits of ranges. - Thomas W. Higginson
- I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. - Woody Allen
- In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker. - Woody Allen
- A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Texas Guinan
- He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
- Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near. - Helen Rowland
- If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? - Abraham Lincoln
- Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
- The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. - Jeanne-Marie Roland
- Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
- When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
- Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. - Lenny Bruce
- Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. - Oscar Wilde
- Never comment on a woman's rear end. Never use a words 'large' or 'size' with 'rear end.' Never. Avoid that area altogether. Trust me - Tim Allen
- Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best friend is still a nearsighted man. - Yoko Ono
- Twitter was invented by men. A woman would have chosen a higher character limit.
- I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. - Bill Cosby
- If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday. - Noel Coward
- True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match. – Groucho Marx
- I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks. - Groucho Marx
- Ugly visual: When you're up to your nose in sh*t, keep your mouth shut. - Anonymous
- If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks. - Cynthia Nelms
- Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy. - Steven Wright
- I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose. - Woody Allen
- Love lasteth as long as the money endureth. - William Caxton
- The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post. - George Bernard Shaw
- Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it. - Jerome K. Jerome
- True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked. - Erich Segal
- Sometimes I lie awake at night, & I ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than 1 night." - Anonymous
- "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? – (understandably) Anonymous
- I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - Henny Youngman
- Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. - Mae West (wink wink)
- In life; it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out! - Joey Adams
Make You Wanna Wince: Dumbisms
- If it weren't for the last minute, a lot of things wouldn't get done. - Michael S. Traylor
- I stand by all the misstatements that I've made. - Dan Quayle
- The loss of life will be irreplaceable. - Dan Quayle
- Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand. - Duffy Daugherty, football coach and sports analyst, a word smith he isn't
- A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. – (understandably) Anonymous, probably from a stoned rocker after a concert
- If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life. - Brooke Shields
- We are ready for an unforseen event that may or may not occur. - Dan Quayle, VP to Bush 41
- If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. - Dan Quayle
- We are sorry to announce that Mr. Albert Brown has been quite unwell, owing to his recent death, and is taking a short holiday to recover. - Parish Magazine
- Please provide the date of your death. - from an IRS letter
- I have opinions of my own - strong opinions - but I don't always agree with them. – President George W. Bush (Bush 43)
Pet Quotes: Funny & Serious
- When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem. - Edward Abbet
- I always like a dog so long as he isn't spelled backward. - G. K. Chesterton
- Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people, who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate. - Sigmund Freud
- Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. - Roger Caras
- Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. - Anne Landers
- If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man. - Mark Twain
- Heaven goes by favor; if it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. - Mark Twain
- A dog is not considered a good dog because he is a good barker. A man is not considered a good man because he is a good talker. - Buddha
- I've met many thinkers and many cats, but the wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine
- A dog has lots of friends because he wags his tail and not his tongue. ~ Anonymous
- The dog represents all that is best in man. ~ Etienne Charlet
- Love the animals: God has given them the rudiments of thought and joy untroubled. ~ Fyodor Dostoyevsky
- Every boy should have two things: a dog, and a mother willing to let him have one. ~ Anonymous
- And God took a handful of Southerly wind, blew His breath over it and created the horse. ~ Bedouin Legend
- The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp. ~ John Berry
- A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg. ~ Samuel Butler
- If I have any beliefs about immortality it is that certain dogs I know will go to heaven, and very – very - few people. ~ James Thurber
- The Cat. He walked by himself, and all places were alike to him. ~ Rudyard Kipling
- The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. ~ Mahatma Gandhi
- The dog was created especially for children. He is the God of frolic. ~ Henry Ward Beecher
- There is nothing in which the birds differ more from man than the way in which they can build and yet leave a landscape as it was before. ~ Robert Lynd
- You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that! ~ Dave Barry
- All of the animals except for man know that the principle business of life is to enjoy it. ~ Samuel Butler
- A Horse! A Horse! My kingdom for a horse! ~ Shakespeare
- A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart and wins with his character. ~ Tesio
- To err is human, to purr, feline. ~ Robert Byrne
- To err is human, to forgive, canine. ~ Anonymous
- Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives. ~ Sue Murphy
- No heaven will not ever Heaven be; Unless my cats are there to welcome me. ~ Anonymous
- A dog maybe a man's best friend but a horse made history... ~ Anonymous
- There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face. ~ Ben Williams
- I think I could turn and live with animals, they are so placid and self-contained. I stand and look at them long and long. ~ Walt Whitman
- If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans. ~ James Herriot
- I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul. ~ Jean Cocteau
- A house is not a home without a pet. ~ Anonymous
- In the beginning, God created man, but seeing him so feeble, He gave him the cat. ~ Warren Eckstein
- Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful. ~ Ann Landers
- Dogs have owners; cats have staff. ~ Anonymous
- A canter is the cure for all evil. ~ Benjamin Disraeli on horses
- Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to. ~ Joe Gores
- Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened. ~ Anatole France
- A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself. ~ Josh Billings
- You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us. ~ Robert Louis Stevenson
- Who can believe that there is no soul behind those luminous eyes! ~ Theophile Gautier
- The purity of a person's heart can be quickly measured by how they regard animals. ~ Anonymous
- We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals. ~ Immanual Kant
- An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber
- If all the beasts were gone, men would die from a great loneliness of spirit, for whatever happens to the beasts also happens to the man. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. ~ Chief Seattle of the Suquamish Tribe, letter to President Franklin Pierce
- There is in all animals a sense of duty that man condescends to call instinct. ~ Robert Brault, robertbrault.com ~ Robert Brault
- To insult someone we call him "bestial." For deliberate cruelty and nature, "human" might be the greater insult. ~ Isaac Asimov, Isaac Asimov's Book of Science and Nature Quotations, 1988
- I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals. ~ Winston Churchill
- I have been studying the traits and dispositions of the "lower animals" (so called) and contrasting them with the traits and dispositions of man. I find the result humiliating to me. ~ Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth, 1907
- Be it human or animal, touch is a life-giving thing. Has anyone ever had a stroke or a heart attack while cozied up with a pet? I doubt it. ~ Robert Brault
- I believe in animal rights, and high among them is the right to the gentle stroke of a human hand. ~ Robert Brault
- Most pets display so many humanlike traits and emotions it's easy to forget they're not gifted with the English language and then get snubbed when we talk to them and they don't say anything back. ~ Stephenie Geist
- Our perfect companions never have fewer than four feet. ~ Colette
- It often happens that a man is more humanely related to a cat or dog than to any human being. ~ Henry David Thoreau
- Animals have these advantages over man: they never hear the clock strike, they die without any idea of death, they have no theologians to instruct them, their last moments are not disturbed by unwelcome and unpleasant ceremonies, their funerals cost them nothing, and no one starts lawsuits over their wills. ~ Voltaire, letter to Count Schomberg, 31 August 1769
- The kind man feeds his beast before sitting down to dinner. ~ Hebrew Proverb
- Lots of people talk to animals.... Not very many listen, though.... That's the problem. ~ Benjamin Hoff, The Tao of Pooh
- Man is rated the highest animal, at least among all animals who returned the questionnaire. ~ Robert Brault
- It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. ~ Douglas Adams, The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy
- An animal's eyes have the power to speak a great language. ~ Martin Buber
- You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets. ~ Nora Ephron
- Animals are such agreeable friends. They ask no questions; they pass no criticisms. ~ George Eliot
- Ever consider what pets must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth! ~ Anne Tyler, The Accidental Tourist
- No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation. - Fran Lebowitz
- Cat Law of Selective Hearing "A cat can hear a mouse yawning a mile away, while filtering out the sound of a pleading human just six feet away. - Anonymous
- Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this. ~ Anonymous
- There's no need for a piece of sculpture in a home that has a cat. ~ Wesley Bates
- Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. - Joseph Wood Krutch
- A cat is a puzzle for which there is no solution. ~ Hazel Nicholson
- There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous
- You know your cat is getting old when she quits hunting in the back yard. Now she hunts at your dinner table.- Denny Lyon
- Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting. - Dave Barry
- My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet. ~ Edith Wharton
- He doesn't reckon his dog has human feelings, but he sure lets you know when you hurt his instincts. ~ Robert Brault
- The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog. - Ambrose Bierce
- Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole. ~ Roger Caras
- No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does. - Christopher Morley
- If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog. Harry S. Truman
- A dog is not intelligent. Never trust an animal that's surprised by its own farts. - Frank Skinner
- The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs. Jeanne-Marie Roland
- Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. Lenny Bruce
- Women are like Elephants. I like to watch them, but I wouldn't want to own one. - W. C. Fields
Political Humor
- A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. - Texas Guinan
- He knows nothing and thinks he knows everything. That points clearly to a political career. - George Bernard Shaw
- "If we were a dog food, they would take us off the shelf." - Rep. Thomas M. Davis III (R-Va.), in a memo to colleagues about the problem with the Republican brand
- "Now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come on!" - Barack Obama, about John McCain
- "If he's the answer, then the question must be ridiculous." - New York Gov. David Patterson, on John McCain at his speech at the Democratic National Convention 2008
- "I've been sleeping like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry.'' - John McCain, talking to Jay Leno about his election loss
- "So?" —Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to an ABC News correspondent who cited a poll showing that most Americans do not believe the Iraq War was worth fighting, March 19, 2008
- "So what?" –President Bush, responding to a an ABC News correspondent who pointed out that Al Qaeda wasn't a threat in Iraq until after the U.S. invaded, Dec. 14, 2008
- "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." –President George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008 (Oh, this is funny on so many levels...)
- "I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." - Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins (2007)
- "You can always tell when the Republicans are getting restless, because the Vice President's motorcade pulls into the Capitol, and Darth Vader emerges." – Hillary Clinton about VP Cheney in 2007
- "Thanks for the question, you little jerk." -- John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him. (2007)
- "I've been asked if that nickname bothers me, and the answer is, no. After all, Darth Vader is one of the nicer things I've been called recently." - Dick Cheney (2007 – this guy thrives on negative attention)
- "A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. Ahhh, those were the good old days." – George W. Bush, at the 2007 Radio-TV Correspondents' dinner


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Check out more photos of New Zealand's cycling trails
For years, Aucklanders have moaned that the only easy scenic cycling trail was a serious journey away to Central Otago - or in France or Australia. But now the Nga Haerenga National Cycle Trail is gradually filling out, we've got plenty of flat, off-road trails to choose from, all within a couple of hours' drive of Auckland.
We can't wait til the Twin Coast Trail between the picturesque Hokianga Harbour and the Bay of Islands opens - but word has it that it's a year or more away. The teeny sampler open now (a 14km stretch between Okaihau and Kaikohe) is a tantalising glimpse of what this historic ride can offer. When the ribbon is cut, it will be top of our list for rides.
Meanwhile, many of these rides in the upper North Island are functioning well after a summer (or two, in some cases) of operation. These are an easy family day-tripper. But some deserve a couple of days' riding - and with plenty of budget accommodation, this is a great way to introduce the kids (and grandparents) to the freedom and joy of bike-riding holidays. Taking in scenery you either zoom by in the car or never get to see is an added bonus.
Most trails are getting organised for bike hire, food and toilet stops and, when needed, sherpa buses to pick you up - with your bike - when your legs give out. Some veer from deeply remote wilderness to sleepy old-time villages with country opening hours (and, be warned, country lack-of-phone-reception).
Thankfully there are emerging products wrapped around the trails (the point, after all, of the job creation bit of Nga Haerenga): clutches of good coffee and eateries, bike repair and hire, buses and accommodation.
Te Awa River RideNgaruawahia to Karapiro, via Hamilton.
Grade 1, easiest
This will be a great river ride alongside spots most of us miss driving past in the thundering State Highway 1 traffic. Right now, you can enjoy rides in Hamilton city (start in town, or at Hamilton Gardens, which has enough variety to keep children amused). Cambridge's cycle lane runs from the southern edge of Cambridge to Lake Karapiro Domain, easy, off-road and pretty, so a great place to start riding with kids. The path is being extended this summer along the rowing course and within the next year, sections will link to the soon-to-be-completed Avantidrome (imagine, cycling to a cycle venue) and Leamington, along with the section around the Narrows between Hamilton and Cambridge. The complete ride will eventually travel 70km along the Waikato River from Ngaruawahia in the north, passing through Horotiu, Hamilton, Cambridge and Karapiro before extending to link with the Waikato River Trail at Horahora on the shores of Lake Karapiro. Construction of the Hamilton City to Horotiu Bridge leg starts this month, the section beyond that to Ngaruawahia hopefully in the next year.
The trail will combine farmland and regenerating native bush, thanks to the intensive planting programme now under way.
Hauraki Rail Trail
Grade 1, easiest
The Hauraki Rail Trail is a treasure - flat, entirely off-road, well-paved and signposted, with excellent help from the trail managers. This is a "spoke" trail (not circular) so start or stop at any of the hub towns of Thames, Paeroa, Waihi and Te Aroha or in the the splendid Karangahake Gorge. Thames is famous for its mining history, Te Aroha as a spa town (time the end of at least one day to soak in the mineral pools) Paeroa for its fizzy drink and antique shops, while Waihi is known for mining, history and as a gateway to Waihi Beach. You are never far from mountains of marvellous food - no matter how much you pedal, you're unlikely to work off the calories you're sure to consume.
The former railway lines mean you have elevated views of farms and scenery you'd never see from a car. A great ride for confident children and you can now use trailers and tag-alongs (earlier awkward cattle stops have been removed). Allow time to check out the mines in the gorge (take a torch). If you're weary, stow your bike on the Goldfields Steam Train and toot your way into Waihi or book the shuttle bus. Future plans include extending the track to Miranda, even south into Matamata.
Whether you want a fully guided tour, accomodation, bookings, bike hire, or sherpa-ing of luggage, the trail team will show you the way.
The ride across the Motu Dunes in Opotiki (top) and passing vineyards in the Gimblett Gravels in the Hawkes Bay.
Waikato River Trails
Grades 1-3, easy to intermediate
Opened in November 2011, the Waikato River trails give cyclists and walkers the chance to get up close and personal with New Zealand's longest river - the Waikato. The trail begins at Horahora Rd (near Karapiro) in the north and finishes 102km south at Atiamuri, home of the power station, 45km north of Taupo.
Beautifully made tracks vary from easy, flat and kid/nana friendly to hair-curling mountain-biking, with some spectacular swing bridges through native bush, farmland and geological wonders. Numerous neat places to stop, though bring supplies as coffee and civilisation exist only at the beginning and end of each section. Time your trip to catch a lift (with your bike), on the Otunui, New Zealand's oldest working paddleboat, as it chugs along Lake Maraetai towards Whakamaru Domain. waikatorivertrails.com
Rhubarb Cafe, 6 Arapuni Rd. Ph (07) 883 5722. Bryan from Rhubarb rents out bikes, provides guiding services, customised itineraries and makes a mean packed lunch.
Blue Tui Shuttles, ph (07) 872 2404
Te Ara Ahi, Thermal by Bike Rotorua
Grade 2 Easy
So new the paint is practically still drying, Te Ara Ahi links the heart of Roto-vegas with the country's best loved mountain bike park at Whakarewarewa, on easy, mostly flat, off-road paths. This will change how you think of this town, as you wend through the moonscapes behind Polynesian Spa, Sulphur Bay, beside streams and all the way to Whakarewarewa Maori Village and the newly renovated Te Puia cultural centre. The brilliant bit is the off road trail carved beside the Hemo gorge - no need to brave the traffic or the hills. the Mountain Bike Park has easy, kid-friendly trails and fine coffee before you loop back to town. Hard core mountain-bikers, or confident riders not afraid ofon-road sections, can carry on to take in the Waimangu volcanic valley via the heart stopping Rainbow Mountain (with a stop at picturesque - and free- hot/cold pools at Kerosene Creek), through more old fashioned heartland of Waiotapu and into the Waikiti. These bits will eventually be off-road, but still the 37km finished so far is worth a long weekend.
Rotorua i-Site or nzcycletrail.com
Taumarunui Timber Trails
Grade 2, easy
One of the newest trails of the National Cycleway, the Timber Trail follows historic tramways and old logging tracks south of Te Kuiti as well as including newly created trails. It's ideal for confident kids and more experienced mountain bikers, but is not as easy or flat as the others in our list. The scenery is outstanding, the birdlife abundant and, all along the way, fascinating information boards explain the area's history.
The trail features the Maramataha swing bridge, (the North Island's longest) and passes the Ongarue Spiral, restored to its former glory as part of the trail's development. Everything about this trail has been done to perfection. Ideally this is a two-day ride, spanning 77km, starting at the Piropiro DoC campground (Benneydale is the nearest village), ending at Bennett Rd, south of Ongarue Village, 15 minutes north of Taumarunui.
timbertrail.net.nz also has shuttle and accommodation packages
Taumarunui Canoe Hire: taumarunuicanoehire.co.nz
TCH rent out excellent Marin bikes, and can provide sherpa services.
Motu Trails, Opotiki
Grade 1 to 3 (easiest to intermediate/technical)
There are four trail options: do the whole 91km loop or just pick off one of the three sections.
The Dunes Trail is an easy 19km return trail along, naturally, the stunning dunes. Start at the Memorial Park reserve, and pedal on easy, smooth paths, hugging the dunes to the bottom of Motu Rd. This is a trail where you are not racing the clock - too much to see of the spectacular Pacific Ocean, White Island and across to the rugged east coast. Bring your own picnic (there is some food towards the end of the trail). If you have mountain bikers in your group, see Donna McIntyre's trip through the rugged Pakihi track (page 5).
Hawkes Bay Trails
Grade 2 to 3 (easy to intermediate)
Hawkes Bay prides itself on being one of the first and best cycling areas in the country - that's cycling for everyday commuters and families getting about, not just tourists. It's flat, there are loads of council-built off-road paths and traffic density is low. Pair that with beautiful scenery, vineyards and food stalls, polished and professional cycle hire companies and who needs to go to France? Opened this summer was the winery trail, which skips around the Gimblett Gravels (bike companies kindly pick up your wine purchases - or you, if you're no longer fit to ride). Kids, too, will like pedalling beside the Ngaruroro River, through Oak Ave, all off-road. Around Napier, you can cycle the Water Ride from Ahuriri and West Shore all the way along the coast, through Clive to Clifton (Clearwater Estate, or Cape Kidnappers if you're feeling posh). See hawkesbaynz.com (look for Hawkes Bay Trails).
Or for a fun family introduction to riding in the region, join The Big Easy at Easter weekend, a very un-lycra cycling event around the region's best attractions. Register your interest at firstname.lastname@example.com.
• Addtional reporting Donna McIntyre and Catherine Smith