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I need an Inferno fix to get my mind settled. Calling formerlyanonymous: please for the love of Dante, can you post us up some awesome fiction?
[Mods: please delete this thread once we get a Canto.]
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the eleventh canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this circle of Dante's version, those who would commit fraud are punished. In each of the 10 bolgie (subsections), a different type of sin is punished, be it pimpin', flattering, simony (paying the church for blessing), magic, corrupt politicians, hypocrites, thieves, advisors who would promote fraud, "schismatics" (those that would schism religion), or counterfeiters.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV Canto V Canto VI Canto VII Canto VIII Canto IX Canto X
As we reached the edge of the 7th circle, we encountered a cliff so steep, it would be impossible to climb down. The abyss seemed to be an endless drop down into darkness. Naturally, we needed a Geryon. Unfortunately, none was to be found.
"So what now?" I asked Crockett.
"Say something bad about America."
"What?" I inquire.
"Say something bad about America. Anything. I'm not going to do it, I'm Davy Crockett for goodness sake."
"Umm… okay? America smells funny?"
Without a second passing, a great "CAW!" came bellowing from the depths. In a flash of fireworks and with the Star Spangled Banner blaring from nowhere, a giant creature came screaming from the deep.
"Who dares defile the name of America! In the name of Ricky Stanzi and J Leman, this aggression will not stand!" proclaimed the great bird.
Cowering on my side, and pointing at Crockett, I yell, "This guy made me do it! He tricked me! Hey wait, why can you talk normally?"
"ENOUGH! I am the great Hawkeye, devourer of corn, strangely named after only my eye, and defender of patriotism!"
Crockett stepped forward, "That'll be enough Hawkeye. The boy didn't mean any harm. We just need your services. We need a ride to the bottom of this here cliff."
"Well, honorable Davy Crockett, I shall grant your request on one stipulation," said the Hawkeye. "You must sing me my favorite song."
"You've got to be kidding me," I reply as I gather my wits.
"Well, Hawkeye, are we talking the Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, or what?" asked Crockett.
"No. Better. I want you to sing Oh! by Girls Generation!"
Crockett and I simultaneously, "You've got to be kidding me."
"No! You will not fly without you singing my favorite song!"
"You obviously didn't see me in Riders of Destiny did you?" asked Crockett.
"There weren't movies in your time Crockett," said the beast.
"Dammit, you've got me there." After a short pause, "Alright, I've got an idea."
In a whirl, John Wayne magically transformed into a 16 year old Korean Girl!
오!Hawkeyes 너무 멋져! 지금은 그들에 대해 노래 것입니다!
After the song was completed, with a tear in his eye, the Hawkeye proclaims, "By Leman, that was beautiful. I shall take you down this cliff. Climb on to my back, and we shall fly like a Ricky Stanzi pass to the endzone!"
With a look of confusion, I ask, "Does this mean we're going to be intercepted and go backwards?"
"Blasphemy! You want a ride or not?!" shouted the Hawkeye.
"Just sayin'. But yes."
Crockett and I climbed aboard. During the flight, I had to ask Crockett just what the hell happened up above. His reply, "you'd be amazed what you learn on the set of Rio Bravo with that slut Angie Dickinson.".
Stunned, I decided to just let things go, finishing the flight in silence.
After landing, we walked down the path, and came up to two cave entrances. To the left, a purple sign reads Chicago; to the right a red sign reads Indiana. "Interesting that Chicago has their own place in hell. They're always the forgotten team," I state.
"Actually, that bolgie is Chicago and Northwestern. Chicago didn't provide enough space to fill the entire realm, so they started putting Northwestern fans in their, too. It really pisses off the Wildcat faithful, being called in Chicago instead of Evanston."
"So this is where fans from opposing schools are kept?"
"Indeed. Each is subjected to a punishment deserving of their respective bases. If you look into the Chicago bolgie, you'll see that Northwestern fans are whipped into pumping gas for eternity. This is punishment for jingling their keys at football games. The Chicago fans are just whipped into submission, as they're just quitters anyway."
"Huh, gas pumpers, huh? I like the irony. It's like rain on a wedding day."
"That's not ironic."
"Nevermind. Anyway, what happens to the Indiana fans?"
"Their heads are turned backwards and they are forced to play basketball without seeing what their doing. They suck horribly and couldn't beat even the lowliest of teams. To complicate it, they're shown clips of the current Hoosiers under Tom Crean. The tears they cry from this freeze right to their face."
"That's so cruel."
"Oh just wait. You see the next two caves, to the left is Illinois. There the fans are subjected to carry lead coats to weigh them down, while being forced to watch the entire history of Illinois football as if Ron Zook had been their coach since the team was started. They're amazingly worse. And to the right, you'll see Penn State's bolgie. There, the Nittany Lion fans are afflicted with a disease that turns them into zombies. They march around hungering for brains."
"I think I'd prefer being a zombie over watching Ron Zook coach a 1920s Illini football team into crap."
"You and me both, son. The next set of bolgies feature Iowa and Purdue. The Hawkeye fans are destined to a life as a stalk of corn. They start as a seedling, grow into a 6 foot tall crop, and then are reaped, feeling the blade tear them into bits, before they return to a seedling."
"As if living in Iowa City isn't boring enough, eh?" I ask as a loud drumming became audible in the distance."
"Purdue on the right here, they've got it about as bad. They spend the after life being dunked into a vat of boiling tar, a victim of their own vats. On top of that, their stupid drum beats in their bolgie, but the demon Purdue Pete has no rhythm, so it's not even a constant beat."
"That's awful, let's move faster."
"That can be done, partner."
"Who's next?" I ask.
"Next is Wisconsin and Minnesota. The Badger fans are placed over a bed of hot coals and forced to jump around."
"The more I hear these, the more I go back to that whole cliché thing we discussed back at the gates to Columbus."
"Noted. But quit interrupting me, boy," Crockett started. "On the left, you can see the Gopher fans crucified to the ground so that people can walk all over them. As you can see, the roof and walls mimic the Metrodome, a place I'm sure all Michigan fans can appreciate."
"Getting walked all over in the Metrodome? Sounds like a familiar Gopher story."
"That it is. The next bolgie coming up is Michigan State's. Before I even tell you what happens there, I'll remind you how cliché everything has been so far, then let you guess. Any ideas?"
"They're subjected to Gerard Butler prance around in a skirt for eternity kicking them into wells, yelling 'this is Sparta?' "
"No, but close! They're made to believe they've been reincarnated into Spartan boys, but as the youngest son, they are to be forever tormented by their stronger, smarter, better looking big brother. And once they've reached a certain age, they're sent to war against the Persians who kill them and start the process over again."
"We've got to get more creative people down here."
"Yeah, you've got to remember, most of the people that run this place are basically the blue hairs from Michigan stadium circa 1927. In life, they were entertained by playing with a stick."
"Touché, Crockett."
"Indeed. Now, on past the last bolgie."
"Sweet, I'm interested to see how those idiots from Ohio are tormented. Please tell me that they get their nuts busted by continuous kicks to the groins?"
"Actually, the next bolgie belongs to Notre Dame. They may not be a conference member, but to hell with the Irish. The Buckeyes go somewhere else, deeper in hell. We'll get to them later."
"Huh, fair enough. So what happens to the Irish?" I ask.
"Well, you see, they have to plug their head into the ground like emus while their feet are scorched on hot rocks. They're told the strategy of putting their head in the ground is a schematic advantage to lessen the burn. It doesn't really do anything but make them look funny."
Disappointed by such a weak punishment, I reply, "It'd been funnier if punch drunk leprechauns came up and kicked them in the shins at the same time, maybe beat the crap out of them."
"I'll make note and pass that along to Ufer. He's never been much on trusting leprechauns. They look too much like gingers. We're still unclear if gingers have souls, and if they ain't got a soul, then they ain't coming to hell."
"That sucks."
"It may suck, but not as bad as Michigan is playing right now. They just lost three straight to Penn State, Illinois, and Purdue. Bad things are happening in your world. Fans are growing restless. We must escape hell quickly, before we lose our chance."
And with that, we quickly made our way toward the final circle of hell.
(Special gif thanks to chunkums)
Large flurry of relevant diaries lead me to delay this one. Only 2 canto's left after this one…
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the tenth canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this circle of Dante's version, those who would commit violence are punished. The murderers, bandits, those that would commit suicide, blasphemers, and sodomites were all tormented in three separate areas. Murderers were submerged into a boiling river of blood, suicide cases were reincarnated into bleeding trees picked to death by harpies, and the blasphemers and sodomites were destined to wander a desert of flames as fire rained from the sky.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV Canto V Canto VI Canto VII Canto VIII Canto IX
The walk from the 6th to 7th ring of hell was totally agony. The gods were also fans of the USMNT. So while watching a 2009 FIFA Confederations Cup game, they discovered the vuvuzela. That damn horn blared through hell for weeks. I'm still deaf. Michigan must never go bowl-less again. They must never lose to Ohio State ever again. The punishment is overkill, even for those in hell.
As we descended into the 7th ring, we were met by it's guardian, the Penn State Nittany Lion. As we went to pass him, he jumped in front of us and began to mumble and jump around. I turned to Davy and asked, "what's his problem?"
"He's trying to scare you into turning back."
"This is supposed to be scary? He's like a teddy bear with a scarf. Jumping around with arms raised is supposed to be intimidating?" I ask as the Lion hangs in head that he'd yet again failed to put fear in to a Michigan fan, just like his highly rated teams that have failed again and again in Ann Arbor.
"He is a pretty weak mascot. I'll give you that, but he's also going to be our guide through this realm," replied Crockett. "Now you, Cowardly Lion—"
The lion interrupted with a few mumbles. "Oh, right, Nittany Lion. Lead us through this circle, the circle of Violence against the program."
The lion then waved his hands in a "come this way" fashion and the Duke and I followed along the top of a ridge. After a brief walk, we came to point above a valley below us. In the valley were hundreds of Michigan fans wearing maize. On a ridge below us sat centaurs with great bows, firing flaming arrows down on to the fans below. As I stopped and watched, Crockett noticed my interest.
"Those are the fans that have sold their tickets to opposing teams' fans. This sin has lead them to lead their life standing in the crowd they can never escape. On top of that, the one team who never buys tickets, will forever rain arrows down on them."
"What team are the Centaurs?" I ask.
"Indiana are the Hoosiers. Why on earth are there centaurs down there?"
"What did you think a Hoosier was?"
"Good point. But centaurs?"
"Back when Bob Knight was coaching, he had this crazy theory that running horses in basketball might have a more sinister purpose. He, being the most influential person on campus at the time, convinced the medical school to merge his players into half man, half horse creatures that would have the speed and stamina to destroy teams on the court."
The Nittany Lion mumbled and Crockett laughed, "Yeah, never could get those flesh eating corn monsters to work. That Bob Knight was a crazy fella."
"You've got to be kidding me," I respond dryly.
"Nope. The kids didn't last long. As soon as they died, they became the perfect fit to fill this role in hell."
After sitting there a while, the centaurs caught sight of us and began to divert some of their arrows upward. Pulling out his six shooter, Crockett began to fire down on the centaurs to provide cover as the Lion and I moved on.
As we fled, Davy fell out of range as the Lion urged us forward. At a fork in the road, I tried to insist that we wait up for Davy. The Lion mumbled and pulled me along. With Crockett being familiar with hell, I figured he'd catch up, and what harm could come from following the Lion. He's so cute and couldn't possibly do me harm. Right?
As we pushed to the left at the fork, we came upon another valley, this one composed of several barren, black trees. The Lion directed me into the forest, peering ever so suspiciously at the darkness above us. Something was up.
As we reached the trees, it was clear that names were carved into them. While some names had faded out, some were still freshly carved. One of those, a particularly tall tree, the name of Epke UDoh was written. Interested, I went up to touch the engraving. Upon touching the engraving, the whole tree flinched.
"Who goes there? Is it another one you of you damn harpies?" came a voice from within the tree.
"No, it is I, formerlyanonymous, a Michigan fan."
"Oh, good. I thought one of those damn harpies came back to bite at me."
"Who are you?"
"I am Epke Udoh. Like all of the other trees in this area, I'm the soul of a Michigan player who quit a Michigan team or transferred to another school."
"Huh. That sucks."
"You have no idea. What are you doing down here?"
"The Nittany Lion… hey, where'd he go?"
"That treacherous Lion has lead you into a trap. He despises Michigan fans, and he's lead you to the harpy feeding ground," explained Udoh. And with that, the swoop of wings up above began to become audible. A dark creature dove down and Udoh, ever defensive, swatted the harpy down to the ground like a blocked basketball.
The harpy squealed, and arose. This harpy was quite strange. It looked like a crack whore who had grown wings. As it lifted up, it became clear, this was a woman who was once attractive, but as her MSU shirt alluded, she spent 4 years at Michigan State, losing all her beauty. She was now a broken woman, stupid, ugly, and unable to shut her mouth.
The harpy, squawking loudly, made it's advances at me. Retreating under the protective branches of Udoh, I hoped to get the help from his tremendous reach. I was lucky that his longest branches were able to keep the harpy at bay just long enough for Crockett to arrive, guns blazing. The harpy didn't last long with the tree and Crockett firing. After a brief few seconds, it scurried away into the darkness.
"Thank you, Epke. Even if you chose a crappy, Christian school over Michigan, I'll always be a fan of yours."
"I appreciate it formerlyanonymous. As for you Mr. Wayne, would you mind signing my bark? It's a tremendous opportunity to meet an accomplished actor like yourself!"
Bang bang bang. "Take that you filthy animal. It's Davy Crockett."
"Dammit, that hurt!" yelled Udoh.
"Serves you right to call me by some other guy's name!" exclaimed Crockett. "Alright boy, you ready to get back on track. I caught up to that damn Lion on the way back up to the 6th level. Beat the tar outta him, and if it wasn't for me already having this kick ass coon skin hat, I'd be wearing something new by now."
With that, Crockett lead us away from Udoh. As we climbed back up the ridge, we could see from a far that the harpy who fled earlier had returned to Epke with several of her friends. Udoh was no match for the flock. He fought off several, but the final four Spartan harpies ripped him to pieces.
After reaching the fork in the road, this time Crockett lead us down the right path. This ridge lead us to yet another valley. In this one, we found a large desert. In this desert were found only a hand full of men. As they crossed this desert, the sand would burst up in flames with every step they took.
After one of their yells, I asked Davy, "Who are these people?"
"These are the sportswriters that turn against Michigan in order to better themselves. They proverbially bit the hand that feeds. For their Jihad against the program, they were banished to the deserts where they are set ablaze. That one way over there, that's the soul of Rosenberg. He has a special punishment. Not only does he walk this desert, but occasionally dolphins emerge from the sand and punch him with their tails."
"So you're saying, in Soviet hell, dolphin punch you?" I ask.
"This isn't Soviet hell. This is Michigan hell. Where the hell did that come from?"
"You don't get the internet do you?"
"No, we don't take kindly to communist around here."
"Right," I say sarcastically.
Davy went on, "But anyway, as you can see over there, writers from the now defunct Ann Arbor Chronicle lay in the desert over there. Yonder, you'll see the Detroit News writers sitting in that expanse. And lastly, you see the writers from the Detroit Free Press wandering in groups like the sodomites they are."
"Lulz, sodomites."
"I know, funny word, right?" the Duke says as he laughs. "Now let's get moving. We've but just 2 circles of hell left and the gods are definitely in our favor. Michigan has won 4 in a row to start this season. We shall travel quickly with them doing well."
And we were off.
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the ninth canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this circle of Dante's version, those who would commit Heresy are punished in tombs of fire.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV Canto V Canto VI Canto VII Canto VIII
As we reach the 6th circle, there was a noticeable feeling of optimism in the air. The mood felt less heavy. The feeling was strange, one that I hadn't felt in quite a while. It didn't take me long to figure it out either. Michigan just defeated Minnesota, closing out a perfect record in the Metrodome.
The celebration didn't last long in my mind. I knew Michigan was still 3-7 and not going bowling for the first in ages. It was a hollow win.
The 6th Circle is a eerily quiet cemetery. Graves are aligned quite compactly, and there is little room to pass without nearly stepping on the hallowed ground. Each soul is in a grave marked with their name. Below the name is listed a saying one of two phrases, "Down in front!" or "You can stand!" As I start to see these two messages, I have already figured out what the sin of this circle is, embattled fans.
It seems strange that this is the only circle thus far that has it's damned in what seems like isolation. I guess that's because the fans here would rather fight with each other than focus on the game. In each case, standing or sitting and yelling at the standing, they ruin each other's game experience. Say what you will about the idiot message board posters, they at least bicker away from the game. These that fight during games, there is a problem there.
But despite my personal feelings about these besetting fans, I can't help but wonder what their take on their punishment is. About half way through the 6th Circle, I couldn't contain my curiosity, especially when my other option was watching Northwestern beat Michigan on a wet Ann Arbor afternoon. So I turned to Davy, "Davy, do you mind if I talk to one of these spirits of this domain?"
"Nah, partner, do as you wish. Just don't ask too many questions. The people in this circle get a bit testy."
"Yeah," I start. "I can tell by the headstones. Any suggestion on sitters or standers?"
"They're damned if you do, they're damned if you don't. Or, well, yeah. The sitters will moan that you're impeding their time. The standers will complain that your not a big enough fan to ask them questions. Pick your poison, kid."
"Great, I'll take the crab juice. Um, how about the standing guy? I don't want to have to sit down to perform this interview."
Davy replied, "That's a good point. Let me round up this feller over here." Feller? Really?
Davy began to wave his hands to open the grave, and as he did, flames burst through the opening as if the grave was pressured with fire. After the grave completely opened, a spirit leapt out as if he were gasping for air.
"Woooo does it feel good getting out of there!" the spirit exclaimed. "Now who do I owe thanks for getting me a break?"
Davy points over to me, "That'd be this here fella."
"Well, then thank you. My name is Super M. Fan. I had it legally changed to that back in '97, right after I caught every game of that National Championship season, at home and on the road. I had Charles Woodson's face tattooed on my ass after he won the Heisman. Wanna see?"
"No. Not at all," I replied as the guy went and pulled down his pants to moon me.
"KISS THE WOODSON!" he proclaimed.
"I'll pass."
"You're not a real fan if you can't appreciate Woodson in all his glory."
"How much can you tell me about Michigan's baseball history?"
"Michigan has a baseball team?" he asked.
"You're not real fan of the University."
"BURN!" said Davy, as flames reached up and scorched the wretched soul.
After letting his yells subside, I redirected the conversation. "So, how's hell treating you, I mean other than the burns?"
"Dude, it's horrible. Not only can I not get a decent drink down here, but I have to watch the Big Ten Network's Greatest Games for eternity."
"That doesn't sound so bad."
"They're all Michigan losses. And the only commercials are for Rotel and Barbasol."
"Ouch. I take that back. If it makes you feel any better, though, that's all they play even on Earth."
"The worst part, occasionally they tease us with a break in programming. It always ends up being campus programming from Purdue's campus. Have you ever seen how they inseminate a cow? Dude, least interesting semen related thing ever. This guy in a plastic glove sticks his hand up the cow's an—"
"Dude, stop it. I know where this is going, and I don't want you to go on any further."
"Hey, there's only so many ways to get your jollies down here."
"No. Enough. Stop."
"Fair enough, guy… Hey, Michigan's about to take on Northwestern on BTN in like 3 minutes. I think Michigan may finally win this one. I can't remember back to the '95 season, but jNWU has to be horrible, am I right?"
"You're not going to—" I start before interrupted by Davy.
"Formerly, let him have it. We must continue on. Super M. Fan, get back in the hole." The spirit sank slowly back into his crypt to go endure more pain and misery. Davy looked at me, "He hasn't even gotten to you're time on BTN's greatest games. Just wait until he has to watch the Horror. Yikes."
"I envy him not."
"Come on boy, let's move on. Trouble is on the horizon. Michigan is losing to Ohio State by 3 touchdowns. The gods will be angry." So hastily we set off.
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the eighth canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this canto, we enter the city of
Dis Columbus to see how the souls damned to hell are sorted.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV Canto V Canto VI Canto VII
As I pass through the underworld's city of Columbus, I really think they missed on naming it. The dark streets of deserted homes and what looks like certain crime reminds me more of certain areas of Detroit than it does of Columbus.
There are dilapidated buildings set in eternal flames. Souls that are awaiting their placement in the depths of hell are kept pinned in those flames. It is a sad place.
We walked through several blocks of the city before we reached a point where the city ended. At the edge of the city was a line of souls awaiting judgment. As I pass, I try to avoid eye contact, because, I mean, how am I supposed to look at them?
In my probably obvious attempt to ignore the souls around me, my eyes wandered back to godzillatron. Things are getting worse. Last week Michigan made a white, walk-on wide receiver look like an All-American against Michigan State in Ann Arbor. This week we're in a shoot out against a hapless Purdue. They've got some wide receiver in at quarterback. He's torching us right and left. I'd feel better about drudging through hell if Michigan could at least show signs of competency.
While staring in solace at the screen above, I noticed my vision went blurry, as if I was looking through a fog and flashes of light. I had accidentally walked right through one of the spirits who was on fire. Strangely, the fire didn't affect me. The spirit was a man, large in stature, sporting a really ugly mustache.
"Hey douchebag, get outta me!" exclaimed the spirit.
"Oh, so sorry, sir. I just –" I started before Davy Crockett interrupted me.
"Don't you apologize to that piece of slime. Don't you recognize what he is? That Buckstache doesn't give him away? That's the badge of the Ohio State fan. Everyone of them is cast into hell with one of those on their face, even the women," Crockett explained as he pointed toward the ugliest piece of trailer trash I've ever seen.
"That's harsh, but it's also so so awesome," I chuckle out as I realize just how ridiculous these people in line are. Most of the Buckeye fans are either pure trailer trash or dressed like they're heading to a Nickelback concert.
We keep walking, and instead of avoiding looking at the poor souls, I'm taking in some deep pleasure in seeing some of these opposing fans waiting in line to be sent to their circle of hell. A certain schadenfreude, if you will.
When we reach the head of the line, much to my surprise, I see the great fiery whip that I once saw pluck Rudyard Kipling from the first circle of hell. I couldn't yet see the master of the whip, but he was plucking out souls from the masses one at a time, flinging them down into the lower levels of hell. His precision was insane, plucking one person from the masses without even touching another. It was masterful.
As the the origin of the whip came into sight, I was both shocked, and, well, who am I kidding, at this point, not surprised to find that this minion of hell, the wielder of the whip was Goldy Gopher. If there was ever one mascot in the BigTen that would know something about being whipped, it'd be Goldy. Apparently all those football beat downs taught him something useful.
"Davy, you think I could talk to him?" I asked.
"You'll need me to translate. If you couldn't tell from Bucky, the mascots can't speak with Sparty being the lone exception. They can mumble, so it comes out kind of like Kenny in South Park."
So we made our way up to the boulder from which Goldy operated and Davy called him down. Goldy leaped down and made his way over to Davy and myself. He started shaking his head and making a muffled squeaky noise. It was like watching the old Chip and Dale cartoons where it's a high pitch squeak that makes no sense.
Crockett laughed at whatever it was that Goldy said, smiled, and replied, "Yeah, man, still going by Davy Crockett. They'll never catch me."
Goldy mumbled some more, pointing in what seems like random directions, moving his hands around more than Bill Clinton in a speech. Goldy continued to talk for a while with Davy just humming in agreement. After a couple of minutes, Goldy turned to me and mumbled something else to Davy.
Davy translated, "Goldy tells me there's good news that you'll probably want to hear. Your fortunes are going to look good by the time you reach the 6th circle."
"Well, that's, uh, good?" I mutter.
"Yeah. So, what do you want to ask him?" Davy asked.
"What is it that you're doing?" I ask. Goldy seems to laugh, then he starts to mumble to Davy, bobbing his head.
About thirty seconds into the mumbling, Davy plainly interrupted Goldy, "Do you really have to say 'Don'cha know' after everything you say?"
Goldy seemed a bit pissed off at this, bobbing his head much quicker and sounding a bit more stern in his mumble. Just like a Minnesotan.
So when Goldy finished, Davy turned back and translated the long mumbling, saying, "He says he whips a person, grabbing them and throwing them to their final destination."
"That was like 5 minutes of rambling, and that's all he said?" I ask.
Davy replied, "There was some talk about starting an hell ice hockey club, but I didn't think you'd really care."
"Yeah, you're right."
"But yeah," started Davy. "He said his whip goes around the person the same number of times as the circle he's destined to spend the rest of time in. So say that Buckeye fan you walked through earlier, he'll get wrapped up 8 times. Hey Goldy, why don't you show him how it's done?"
Goldy mumbled, leapt back up to the top of his boulder and gave his whip a spin. The tip made it all the way back to the Buckeye fan I walked through earlier, wrapping him eight times around. The spirit was lifted and thrown back and down into the far reaches of hell. It was awesome.
After feeling the satisfaction of watching a Buckeye being thrown deep into the depths of hell, we waved adieu to Goldy. He did that weird mascot salute that they tend to do when signaling goodbye. We were off, heading from Columbus down into the 6th circle.
Delayed a day due to quality content of actual importance in the diary section that I didn't want to boot from the front page…
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the seventh canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this canto, we reach the great city of hell – what Dante called Dis. This city houses the final circles of hell.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV Canto V Canto VI
Davy Crockett and I made it down to the ferry after a lengthy walk. Along the way I admired the great wall along the far side of the Styx. The wall was gray and stained with blood. It had a dank and dark feeling, evil if you will.
"Davy, what's with the wall?" I ask.
"That there wall separates the light sinners from the truly vile sinners. Behind it lies the great city of the underworld. Back several years ago, it was called Dis. Now, they officially call it Columbus."
I turn to Davy with a smug look on my face, "That's not too cliché is it?"
He replies, "Yeah, hell isn't filled with a truly creative bunch."
"Apparently," I say.
When we reached the ferry, we were met by the boat keeper. The keeper was in a druid robe, so his features were hidden, but I could tell he was tall. When we approached him, he motioned us to the boat without saying so much of a word. He left my nerves unsettled.
About half way across, I decided to break the silence and ask him a question, "So is this your full time job?"
The next thing I know, the boat keeper pulled up his oar and wacked me across the head. Everything went black.
When I awoke, I was on the banks of the Styx, already taken off of the boat. I could hear the current ripping by the shore and someone talking in the background. As I came to my senses, I realized it was Crockett talking while trying not to laugh.
"Dammit, man, that was one hell of a hit. You can't be doing that kind of stuff...Yeah, yeah, I know, he'll be fine. Just take it easy you crazy badger."
As I rolled over and up onto my feet, I looked over a boulder to see Crockett talking to the robed figure. This time his hood was down. It was Bucky Badger. That stinking badger knocked me out.
I tried to run over to him to give him a return shot, but my head hadn't quite recovered. As I stumble across the banks toward Bucky and Crockett, I saw the badger reach into his pockets and retrieve a bag. Too dizzy to fight and interested in what he had to offer, I stopped and grabbed the bag from his hand.
"What's this?" I asked.
Bucky, unable to talk motioned to Crockett to explain. Davy said, "That's a mixture of mushroom, mushroom, and snake called Badger, Badger, Badger. It'll clear your head."
Puzzled, I reply, "Clich—"
Davy interrupts, "Cliché, yes. We established that already."
"Just checking," I say as I take a bit of the contents in the bag. Amazingly the stuff worked, clearing my head almost immediately. I handed the bag back to Bucky as he made his way back to his boat. He motioned in a big wave, replaced his hood and was off.
I whisper to Davy, "I hate badgers," and Bucky promptly turns around, gives the arm gesture for "suck it." That bastard. But he's not worth the effort of chasing him down. Especially with him already so close to his boat oar.
Turning back to Crockett, I ask, "So what next?"
"Well, we gotta get into Columbus. There's a gate up yonder. We'll have to go in there," said Crockett.
As we walked up to the gate, the tower over the gate loomed large. It had to be over 200 feet tall. The gate itself was over 20 feet tall, made of thick sturdy wood and fastened with steel. It did not appear to have been opened in years. Above the gate was a look out post that appeared to be manned by no one.
When we reached the foot of the doors, Davy called up to the post, "Hey, you up there. Get your lazy selves down here and open this door!"
Nothing happened. Davy and I look at each other with a "now what?" look. A few seconds later, I see what looks like a man with a mohawk poke his head over the edge of the lookout post.
"What is you're name?" called the look out.
"I'm Davy Crockett, and this is formerlyanonymous," replied my guide.
"You're not Davy Crockett, you're John Wayne! And who the hell is formerlyanonymous?" returned the man from above.
Davy turned to me and whispered he'd be right back. Davy then floated on up to the look out post and disappeared behind the ledge. I waited for something to happen, and after waiting two or three minutes with nothing happening, I started to lose hope.
All of a sudden, I hear a yell and see the mohawked man falling from the ledge. When he reaches the ground, I realize it's Sparty, and man, does he have one hell of a black eye. Crockett comes back down from the ledge, settles down posing like Captain Morgan over the Michigan State mascot.
"Sparty, no. I'm Davy Crockett. You are going to open that door," says Crockett with the expression John Wayne would always would have at his characters' smuggest moment of any of his movies.
"Well you're out of luck, brah. I own this gate. I'm not opening this door without divine intervention," replied the Spartan. And like clockwork, a light shined through the darkness above. Out of the godzillatron, a voice as sweet as candy spoke:
"Little bro, this is Ufer. You'll open that gate right now."
Sparty reluctantly answers, "Yeah, brah. I'm on it."
And Ufer said unto Sparty, and "bow down to the Michigan fan as he passes."
The light faded back into the godzillatron and everything went back to normal. This was awesome. Sparty got up and started pushing open the door to let me pass. As I walk through the door, he bowed down.
Right as I pass through the threshold of the door, Sparty called me "scUM." Before I could even insult his typically Spartan, weak insult, a lightning bolt came from above and punished the Spartan. Life was good.
As we passed through the gates, we entered the 6th ring of hell and the city of the extremely not cleverly named city of Columbus, where the true villains of Michigan football exist.
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the sixth canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In this canto, we aren't visiting a level of hell as much as a ring around it. In Dante's fifth circle, we have the wrathful, those who fight each other, destined to stay underwater where they will find no solace in man, God, or the universe.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV Canto V
Coming down the slope to the 5th circle of hell, we could see in the far distance the river Styx and a great wall. This level of hell is rather thin, as you can see all the way across it. It's also noticeably barren. There are no geological formations, just flat land leading to the great river of the underworld. It doesn't even dawn on me until we've almost reached the river that there haven't been a soul in sight.
I turned to Crockett, asking him, "What's up with this circle? Are there no souls damned to it?"
"Patience, partner. You'll get your answer and then some when we reach the river."
What's with cryptic messages about my future coming from these spirits. I guess I should heed his warning. The last few hours have been horrible as I stare at the godzillatron. Michigan just lost to Toledo. As the final seconds clicked of the clock, all hell seemed to shake.
So as we got close to the river, I turned back to Davy and ask how is it we're supposed to cross the river when three souls in the water pop up. The first wore a shirt with the words "G0B1U34W350M3!Scout". The second wore a shirt with the words "HaiL2DaVictorzRIVALZ". The last wore a shirt with the words "Promote RichRod".
G0B1U3 speaks first, "Obviously you have to build a boat and float across. Did you go to a public school? The public school I went to is ranked #2 out of all public schools. That makes me smart."
HaiL2Da responded second, "u dont have 2 go to da skool 2 b smrt dumass. Just ford da river d00d. itll b cool."
Promote RichRod then came up third, "Hey formerly, remember me? I'm the handle that died when my owner went to be a lawyer at the University of Michigan Law School."
"OF COURSE I remember you," I reply as I reminisce Promote RichRod's awesome policing of the early board. "You must have retired after I left on my pilgrimage."
"Yeah, I had a pretty epic ending. I asked "Cutting up the middle" means cutting into Outback's sirloin special, right? Ended this handle's life just a few hours ago. Too many uninformative titles, not enough off topic tags, and dammit, just not enough people who can handle my University of Michigan Law School intellect."
"You're definitely the same guy. So why are you down here?" I asked. "I know you've been to plenty of games and been a loyal Michigan fan."
Promote RichRod replied, "you see, people who post stupid things about Michigan on message boards get sent to fight it out in the current of the River Styx. That explains tweedle dee and tweedle dumb over there. You think mgoboard can get bad, you should hear these douchebags day after day. The good news is we at least all gang up on the stupid MLive posters. We keep them submerged to the bottom."
I nod my head in agreement. Putting up with Scout board style comments would be rough. It's why I've always liked mgoblog haloscan comments. The sense of community doesn't take kindly to stupid or superficial people, well minus that one night where 00goblue00 mentioned she had tits. "Fair enough. Any suggestions to crossing the river that don't come from the Oregon Trail?"
"Yeah, there's a ferry that will take you to the gates of the great city. You just need to wonder in that direction," says Promote RichRod as he points up the coast. "It'll be hard to miss."
"Thanks dude, and good luck."
Davy and I then walked away as the three posters started fighting each other on the topic of the values of running zone left three times and punting. If I wasn't already in hell, I think my soul would have just died a little bit.
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the fifth canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. The fourth circle of Dante's hell is home to those committing Avarice. Avarice is the equivalent of greed, which was once described in a certain text as "the root of all evil." In Dante's realm, they were forced to move large stones with their chest for eternity.
Past Cantos:
Canto I Canto II Canto III Canto IV
As we traveled down into the fourth circle of hell, the weather began to clear and temperatures approached being a bit warm. As we reached the bottom of the steppe, Davy stopped me.
"Formerly, before we go any further, I must warn you, this circle of hell may be a bit tempting. Be always sure you are right - then go ahead," warned Crockett.
Little did I know just how true his warning would be. As we entered the main plain of the fourth circle, I was immediately surrounded by women. And let me tell you, these women were endowed. Tig ol' bitties as far as the eyes could see. And we're not talking just DD, we're talking freakishly large boobs. Does size Z exist? These breasts are as large as a woman's torso.
"Look girls, it's a mortal man!" exclaimed one of the big tittied blondes. I think I'm in heaven. All of these women want me.
"So, like where are you from?" one asked. "Did you go to Michigan? I was, like originally from Jersey, but I went to Michigan. I was in Sigma Lambda Upsilon Tau. My grades were awesome! I was a linguistics major, which, is like so totally hard. What can I do for you?" Followed by a suggestive wink, or at least I think it was, I was staring at something else.
"Well, uh… you-" I started before being interrupted.
"So where are you from? How much do you make? What kind of car do you drive? If it's anything less than an Audi you can just pack it up and get out of here," another said, speaking so quickly that I didn't have time to even get a word in.
"Uh, I'm a college student that drives a chev-"
"Oh god, I carried these huge tits all the way over here for that? I'm so out of here," stated the first girl. The girls all turned away, opening up their cell phones and calling god knows who.
"What, what? What just happened here?" I mutter.
Davy steps up beside me and says, "Formerly, this is the land of those fair weather fans who only go to games because that's what the popular kids do. They don't care about the team. They just want to be seen. These are the ones that show up in the short skirts in September, then never make it to a conference game because the weather goes cold."
"Damn dude. Those are some big titties. Is that just a coincidence?" I asked.
A girl, boobs too big to be able to use her hands on her cell phone overheard me and interrupted our conversation, "No, that's like the punishment for us. We were all too lazy from going out before games and getting trashed to make it out to games. We've been punished by being given breasts that are like, so big they hurt to carry around all day. And the worst part, they don't even give us mixed drinks to subdue the pain. This is like a total hell hole."
I replied with a simple "I see" and eye roll, which didn't seem to go over well with the straggler, "Don't give me that look, bitch."
"Oh, okay. You enjoy Avarice, I'm moving on."
"Like, shaaa… wait, what's Avarice?" she replied.
"Go ask one of your English major friends who might have read the Divine Comedy, if that wasn't 'like so totally hard' that they forgot."
Sorority girls…
So Davy and I kept moving along, and shortly before getting to the edge of the fourth circle, Crockett turned to me and says, "Yeah, I made the mistake of hanging out here too much when I first entered hell. Those bitches are intellectually disabled. And man, listening to them chatter on and on about themselves is a worse hell than anything you'll see the rest of the trip."
"I hear you there, Davy. They're batshit crazy."
And on we traveled.
(picture complements of chunkums… Disclaimer: any and all stereotypes offered by this picture are the sole contribution of chunkums. FA loves him some KKG, or any UM sorority sisterhood for that matter.)
In the loosely adapted ways of Dante, I present to you the fourth canto of Formerly's Football Inferno. I promise nothing when it comes to grammar, punctuation, logical plots, or anything that normally goes into story writing.
For those of you unfamiliar, Dante walks through each region of hell to learn the sins and punishment by talking to those souls trapped. In the third circle of Dante's hell, home to those committing Gluttony, the souls here must endure endless rain of sludge from the monster Cerberus.
Past Cantos:
After another endless walk, we finally climbed down into the third circle of hell. In this circle of hell, the windstorms of the second circle turned to a freezing storm of black snow. Temperatures were easily below freezing. Luckily I took my jacket with me to the Michigan game I last left, oh so long ago. Michigan weather is tricky like that. It changes on a whim.
As we pushed on through the circle, we could see large hills all around us, however, people weren't to be seen. As we slid between hills, zigzagging through the valleys that channeled through, you'd occasionally hear a person yell, but not often. After a few yells, I had to ask Davy Crockett just what that horrid screaming was.
"Kid, this is the realm of hell for all those who never once made it to Michigan Stadium. It's a sacred pilgrimage that every Michigan fan must complete at least once in their life. For those that don't they are doomed to spend eternity sitting in a replica of Michigan Stadium, except there is no game.
"They must sit and endure the cold of a night game in December. A black snow blots out the light as their souls must freeze. Each of these hills are actually stadiums built into the ground, filled with twice the normal capacity so the damned will have to feel an even bigger squeeze on space. On top of that, they blast RAWK MUZIK into their ears. It's diabolical."
"That's a harsh penalty," I replied. "Is there exemptions for poor people, those who never visit America, or otherwise?"
"Alas, they do not. If you never make a game, you are damned to hell. It used to be worse though. It used to be if you didn't make an Ohio State game. Hell eventually had to change that. The ADA got wind and claimed there just weren't enough handicapped seats in Michigan Stadium to get all the crippled people of the world into Ohio State games. So Hell sent their lawyer-types, of which there are plenty, and sent them to orchestrate a renovation of Michigan Stadium. The requirement to see an Ohio State game should be mandatory again by 2012."
"Huh," I shrugged. "I guess I take back all those nasty accusations I made about the handicapped ruining the Big House."
"Yeah," agreed Crockett. "They had nothing to do with it. Hell doesn't discriminate. The handicapped are just as worthy of punishment."
"So that screaming I heard, that was the RAWK MUZIK?" I asked.
"Yeah, that's the RAWK MUZIK. Horrible stuff."
"So is there a spirit around I can talk to?"
"Nah, most of the people in these stadiums are losers who never went to a game. You know, like that stereotypical Asian kid who went to the UgLi instead of games. That and ugly girls who are pasty. They have no interest in those around them in life, nor do they have any interest in each other in hell. You don't want to be associated with them do you?"
"Davy, you're a horrible soul. I don't even know if you'd made it into Christian heaven with views like that. That said, I don't want to be associated with those type of people at all. I find they normally smell funny, too. Let's hurry and get out of this damn cold. May we never play night games in November or December ever."
As we walked on, I caught a glimpse of the godzillatron in the sky. Michigan just came back against Wisconsin to win. Ha, what the hell did that Domer loving Grantland Rice know about Michigan's future. The Rodriguez Era has begun. Sucker.
(Special thanks to chunkums for the gif)


text:
This is for Maureen's blog on the LG "universal" player, but it's impossible to submit a comment to her blog:I have a $499 PS3 Blu-Ray player. For $500, I can get an HD-DVD player. Presto! Both formats for $1000. The ideal setup, using HDMI cables, would require just one additional cable than with a single player. This seems a superior solution, especially given the compromised HD-DVD capabilities on the "universal" player.
Samsung's Iris
In the February issue, the Samsung HL-S6188W was derided, and rightly so, for it's staggering light output of almost 170 ft-Lamberts. For a 61-inch display, this is way to bright to watch in a dark room. It's the kind of light output that hurts, literally.
I mentioned in the article that buried in the service menu there was a way too enable an iris. We didn't review it this way in the magazine because I don't think it was fair to assume that every ISF calibrator would know how to do this (though by comparison it is fair to assume that they will know how to calibrate the grayscale on every TV). The fact that there is an iris, but there isn't a control for it in the user menu is a conundrum that is above my ability to figure out. So we tested this iris, and it certainly works.
There are only two settings for the iris, on and off. Default, as you can imagine, is off. On drops the light output by half. The contrast ratio essentially stays the same, but now instead of 158 ft-Lamberts (what we measured this week now that it has many more hours on its lamp), it drops by more than half to 77.06 ft-Lamberts. This is still bright, but lacks the pop that you would expect if you're used to this TV in its brighter mode. That said, if you watch this TV in a dark room, it's well worth it, not least for the drop in black level that also goes down by half.
In reality of the article, it doesn't matter that the TV does this, as it wouldn't have affected its ranking one bit. But if you want to get a highly accurate TV, and one that doesn't blow you out of the room, this TV can give you both. Unfortunately, you have to choose between the two settings, as there is no easy way to switch between them.
How to do it
I will not tell you how to get into the service menu, so don't even ask. I don't care if this annoys you. One way to look at this is "plausible deniability" another is "lack of liability." If you screw up your TV, it's your own fault. So when your ISF calibrator is at your house calibrating this TV, or you've found the codes to screw it up yourself, this is how you enable the iris:
Under the "SP Actuator" section of the service menu, turn "DB On/Off" to Off. Then in the same section of menu, scroll down to the now available "DB Aperture" setting. Set this to "Close." It's that easy.
Feel free to make fun of me for my paranoia about end users using the service menu, but remember that anyone can post the service codes on a website, and not get blamed for you making your set unwatchable (and losing your warrantee). If I print it, on the other hand, it's my ass. So otherwise… have fun!
Good timing for my purchase of an RPTV. I have a number of questions. I watch movies and sporting events at night in a relatively dark room. Also, I occasionally watch sporting events during the day when the room is fairly bright (alot of windows). 1) Sounds like the Samsung with the Iris On would suite my viewing habits better? 2) If the iris adjustment was in the user menu is the iris setting something you would expect the end user to switch back and forth? 3) In your blog you state there is no easy way to switch back and forth. Yet, with the service codes its a couple of clicks away. I know nothing is idiot proof, but it doesn't seem to difficult for a person with the code to switch back and forth. Do you agree? 4) You indicate the contrast ratio (full on/off and ANSI?) wouldn't change much with the Iris On. Would the TV track D6500 as your test with the with Iris on? 5) If Samsung shipped this TV with the Iris On it seems like there wouldn't have been any "real" negatives
It's not quite as easy as it sounds, as entering the service menu resets your user picture controls. It does this every time you enter. So every time you want to switch the iris, you'll have to redo all your settings. That, to me, would get annoying very quickly. The iris shouldn
Geoffrey, I read with great interest the results of the RPTV Face Off in the February issue. However, I was wondering what I suspect many others might be as well, that being what would YOUR winner have been out of the six TVs tested? I'm assuming you had just as much, if not more, hands-on experience with them as any of the other editors.
Thanks for the info. on the set resetting to as-shipped settings. 1) Aside from turning off the DNIe were there many user setting changes made to get the Samsung as good as you reported? What I'm getting at is how much of a pain would it be to get back to the user adjusted TV settings after entering the service menu? I'm assuming that the service menu adjustments would not be reset when reentering the service menu to change the iris setting. 2)In your blog you mentioned the light output had gone down from 170 to 158 ft-L due to hours on the lamp. Would you expect within a short time (400 - 500 hrs) that the light output with Iris Off would go down to non-objectionable levels? 3) Given my viewing habits from my previously posted comment would you recommend the Samsung with Iris On or the maybe your #2 rated JVC TV? That is, would the Samsung have been #1 with you and your fellow judges with Iris On?
Geoffrey-I'm looking at the Sammy and the Sony A2000, both in 50" versions. I'm having a hard time deciding-- they're both beautiful sets.Here's my question-- what the difference between the Sammy xx87 and the xx88 models? Are they the same set with different input options? From what I can tell, the 5087 is a couple grand less than the 5088.
Chip: As I understand it, the only PQ (as opposed to feature) benefit of the xx88 over the xx87 is that the xx88 offer persistent 1:1 pixel mapping. I.e., uncalibrated, with overscan on, this TV does not do 1:1 pixel mapping, which means it can't quite fully resolve a 1080 line test pattern (and it has too much overscan -- something like 3.5%). If you have the TV ISF calibrated, the calibrator can go into the service menu and turn off the overscan, giving you 1:1 pixel mapping and thus full 1080p resolution (this also reduces overscan to ~1%). The calibrator can do this with both the xx87 and the xx88. But the advantage of the xx88 is that once the calibrator does this, it stays this way. With the xx87, this "fix" is not persistent -- it can revert back to the default setting (which is overscan set to on). Also, if you check on-line (www.pricegrabber.com) you will see that the price difference between the two sets is only ~$300 ($1400 vs. $1700).
Geoff: 1. Instead of an iris, why didn't Samsung just offer a reduced power setting? Wouldn't this offer the same benefit but also save energy, not to mention bulb life?2. Got a technical question for you about the Samsung 5679 LED DLP: There's been some discussion on avsforum.com that the rapid switching of the LEDs (which eliminates RBEs) has the unavoidable negative consequence of reducing bit (color) depth. The argument is that each LED is on for only ~1000 microsec. (usec). And the mirrors on the DLP flip about once every 15 usec. So you can have only ~1000/15 ~ 60 mirror flips for each color, so you can only adjust the color intensity in 60 steps. And 60 ~ 2^6, so this gives you only ~6 bits of color depth (as opposed to the full 8). [It has been futher argued that you also need 2 bits for gamma, so really you are only left with ~4 bits of color depth.] Is this really true? For instance, the Samsung engineers could have dealt with this problem by integrating over 4 or more LED
last message got cut off, should finish: "...over 4 or more LED cycles."Geoff: Two general housekeeping comments: (1) I've been a regular reader of your blog and those on your sister publication, www.ultimateavmag.com. I think there may be a problem with your server, because your blog (and others on this site) seem to take forever to load (as compared with those ultimateavmag). This has been a problem as long as I've been a reader. (2) About half the time I enter the exact security code I get back "The Security Answer Was Incorrect."Chip: Just for clarification: both the xx87 and xx88 have overscan on as their default setting, and both can be adjusted to overscan off in the service menu (SM), but the setting sometimes reverts to the default on the xx87. Also, I would not buy a Sammy without getting it ISF cal'd. (by a tech with specific experience in those sets). DNIe messes up the pic, and can only be completely defeated in the SM. And you only get the Sammy'
I read that the JVC TV only allows one HD input to use the Theater mode which is the only mode close to D6500. The review stated that the grayscale accuracy "can't come close to being duplicated" in the other modes (Standard & Dynamic). The reviewer stated this as a significant inconvienence. Having never had an HDTV I have no experience with the significance of this. What was your experience with the JVC regarding the accuracy of the other modes? Does the Samsung have separate video memories by input? If not can the other modes in the Samsung be made as accurate as the Movie mode? If so it seems like this wouldn't be a big deal at all. I'm leaning towards the Samsung and if the TV is unwatchable in a dark room, then have a professional calibrate the set and turn the Iris On. Your comments are appreciated.
I have read somewhere that the new Samsungs have a Dynamic iris. Is this the case and what does that mean? Also I read that they can be set up for 1x1 pixel mapping in the service menu. Does this mean they will work well with an external scaler? If they don't do 3:2 with 1080i sources, does that mean you will only see full resolution when feeding them 1080p?
Ok, I've done some research and found the answer to my own question-- xx887 v. xx88. I meant to say "couple hundred" instead of "couple grand" difference above.Apparently there is a new firmware (Dec. 06) that allows the overscan setting to "stick" now on the xx87, as it does on the xx88. Otherwise, the picture is the same, and the only other differences are the bezel and firewire inputs on the xx88.I took the plunge and ordered the 5087. Should be here in a few days!
Geoff: Well, I thought the purported reduced bit depth on the 5679 might explain the posterization, which cannot be entirely eliminated, even with a calibration. Incidentally, if the 5679 had been included in the Feb. shootout, where would you rank it (assuming all TV's were calibrated)? As I understand it, it has even more accurate color and less noise than the xx88, as well as no possibility of RBEs (and it would not have the overly-bright light output). On the downside, it has some posterization, higher blacks, and poorer contrast. A non-fatiguing, low-noise picture is important to me, and I can live with poorer contrast if it merely means I don't get ultimate blacks; but I do want a TV with good dimensionality and that doesn't look washed-out. So I'd particularly like to hear your take on whether the 5679 is less fatiguing than other RPTVs, and on the visual effects of the 5679's low contrast and high blacks.
It would not have done very well. Its high black level and low contrast ratio would have taken it out of contention very quickly. The difference in color accuracy between that and the 6188 would be very hard to detect on normal video material.There is way too much to a judgment like
Thanks for the feedback. I suppose one thing I need to keep in mind in reading your shootout is that it is for TVs subjected to a consumer-level calibration only, and that if the TVs were ISF'd (which is what I plan to have done) their rankings might well change. For instance, most calibrators on AVSforum prefer the Sony over the JVC because, with a service menu (SM) level calibration, the Sony's colors can be made much more accurate than those of the JVC (see, for instance the ISF cal. tristimulus results posted for the 70XBR2 at http://www.avsforum.com/avs-vb/showthread.php?p=8792988&&#post8792988). By contrast, as you showed in performing a user-menu (UM) calibration, it's about a wash between the JVC and Sony for color accuracy (the JVC is overall more accurate, but the inaccuracy in the Sony is less bothersome). [I'm assuming that the shootouot was limited to UM only, b/c your tristim. for the Sony approx. matches the "before" results shown in the link above, and b/c you didn
CONTINUED FROM PREVIOUS POST: ... and because, as you explained in your article about the Samsung iris, you wanted the results of the shootout to only reflect those adjustments that are accessible to the typical consumer.] [Which is why you didn't do modifications that required entry into the SM, such as adjustment of the Samsung iris.]
Geoff - Thanks for the reply. Is it correct that by input (HDMI-1, -2, Component 1, etc) that you can program specific UM settings for the Theatre mode. Then depending on what input is the source for your picture when you press the theatre button on the remote you get different brightness, contrast, etc?
Aron: Calibration was performed on all sets, as mentioned in the text of the article and in the measurement box for each TV. This was to dial in the grayscale. It is my opinion that it is unfair to assume that ever ISF calibrator would know every single tweak on every single TV. So adjustments in the service menu past that (like the Samsung
Geoffrey, after setting DB Aperature to "close" did you adjust SB Gain at the very bottom? The famous AVSforum site also comments on how to close the iris, but they also mentioned adjusting SB Gain between 100-170. Value of 0 is default but sure seems kinda dim now. Just wondering if SB Gain was adjusted with your test unit.
I respond to a letter about this in an upcoming issue. The short version is this: It may seem a simple thing to add an additional mode, or to calibrate them correctly from the factory, but it isn
How do you convince them? You point out that while the number of videophiles is small, they include among their ranks virtually all video reviewers, who typically use, and base their evaluations on, measurements of color and gray scale accuracy. So better accuracy equates to better reviews on Cnet, etc., and that certainly drives sales. Also, Consumer Reports (CR) is slowly getting more sophisticated about, e.g., color accuracy. Ask their marketing depts. if it
Having decided on the Samsung TV, I wanted to view at a store with a better viewing environment than BB or CC. I called the local Tweeter and they can no longer get the 6188. What I learned from the manager there was that Samsung stopped making that model in December and will release the new lineup in April. An obvious low cost/big benefit enhancement to the next model years TV would be to have the iris control in the user menu as a variable per input or picture mode. When and how will be get our first clue of what the new Samsung models will offer?
Bruce - Thanks for the AVS link. After reading way to many posts, there seems to be alot of interest in the forum for the LED based Samsung sets. I recall reading a review in HT magazine or one of the others that was not to flattering of the 1st gen Samsung LED sets. I'll have to dig it up and see what was written. Hopefully, Geoff will review the new gen Samsung sets in the May timeframe.
So, you won't tell me how to turn on the iris via the service menue and even if I have an ISF tech come in, he may not know to do it. Brilliant. I accept the former but find the latter unacceptable. Would a tech charge more $$ over an above the standard calibration to turn on the iris? Presumably yes.
Geoffrey- I just got samsungs HLS56. The problem I'm having even after calibration is that it seems as though I'm looking @ it through a dirty screen protector lots of shadowing. Had a tech. come out 2 look @ it & he told me after a few service menu adjustments that there was nothing wrong with it. Same result even on HD channels & DVD's but not so much on HDDVD. Can I fix this myself ? Or do I have 2 find someone else 2 take care of this?
With my Samsung 5088:1. After 300-400 hrs. the light output droped that I never had to use the 'Movie" mode setting again. Durning the day, I now use the 'Dynamic' setting. I never found this set as bright as you guys claimed.2. In the 'Dynamic' mode the lamps output does increase by 10 watts (measured by a AC watt meter), the increased output of the lamp can be seen behind the set due to all the light leakage. This is terrible and worse than other designs which wasn't mentioned in the review,3. You never test the absolute most basic function of any TV, the internal tuner. What, you don't watch OTA?? How can you NOT test the tuner(s)? DVDs' are a option. In this country OTA is what it's about. Not everyone has HD DVD players (or wants them until they can record). Almost everyone can access at least one OTA digital station, and it's free! You need to change your thinking on this.4. How about measuring AC current draw. A $20 'Kill-a-Watt' meter
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Senior right-hander Josh Smith is still the starter in game on Friday at 6 when Kennesaw State's Owls visit Ken Dugan Field at Stephen L. Marsh Stadium for the start of a three-game Atlantic Sun series. But sophomore right-hander Davey Hackett is penciled in as the starter in game two, moving up from his role as the No. 3 starter for the second week in a row. Freshman left-hander Chris Nunn will get the call in game three for the second week. Both changes were tested last weekend in a non-conference series with Illinois State.
The Bisons are 10-20; 2-4 in the Atlantic Sun. Kennesaw State is 13-18, 4-5 in the conference.
"Obviously, there is pressure on Josh knowing he has been the only consistent person on our staff," said Bisons pitching coach Tyler Shrout. "Josh loves that. He actually thrives on it. He wants to be that guy. He loves the pressure.
"For the coaching staff it is more pressure on us knowing that without him doing what he needs to do every Friday we are going to be behind the eight ball. Our guys play different when he out there. When is on the mound, the atmosphere is more laid back. We are expecting to win. Our players have 100 percent confidence in him."
Smith is 5-1 with a 3.33 earned run average. He has recorded 15 strikeouts in each of his last two starts; a 9-4 win over ETSU March 26 and a 5-3 win over Illinois State April 2.
"Josh had better stuff the first time against ETSU," Shrout said. "This past time against Illinois State he located his pitches better than he ever has.
"The biggest thing is to get him a lead early which we did in both of those games. If we go out and give him a four-or-five-run lead he can be relaxed and just pitch. That's where he gets those strikeout numbers. He knows if he gives up a hit or a run that it is not going to be the ball game. He doesn't have pressure on each pitch."
Hackett, 2-3, 6.64 ERA, has shown improvement as the season has progressed. He is coming off of an 8-1 win over Illinois State April 3.
"He has proven to be the most consistent of everyone except Josh Smith," Shrout said. "He still has stuff he needs to get better at, but he gives us the best opportunity to continue our momentum through the weekend series."
Shrout was confident at the beginning of the season that Hackett could be competitive against any pitcher he faced in the No. 3 slot in the weekend rotation. Shrout also thinks that Hackett can make this move if his consistency continues to improve.
"He is doing a better job of stopping the momentum when things start going in the wrong direction," Shrout said. "He is a guy who is making big pitches when he needs to do it. He has made some pitches when it counts.
"Last week he had three pick-offs so he has three of his 21 outs on pick-offs which was one of the reasons why he was successful. He is giving us more of a quality start each time out. That is all we are asking from our starters."
Nunn will be making his fifth start of the season. He is 0-1 with a 15.51 ERA. Matt Bowling, Dannie Strable and Alex Ross have all had the opportunity this season to nail down a spot in the weekend rotation.
"It has been tough," Shrout said. "We are looking for that consistency there.
"Chris might have some bad numbers, but he is going to learn every time he is out there. He has the stuff. He just has to continue to get better. He is a typical freshman. He needs the reps. He is not afraid to have the baseball."
One of the keys for Nunn is the need to pace himself when he is on the mound.
"He has to understand the starting role," Shrout said. "He needs to understand how important each pitch is and the concentration that is needed on each one.
"He is going to be our No. 3 starter for right now. If he gives us three or four, or maybe five or six innings, we will hopefully have enough guys behind him to finish it up."
Saturday's doubleheader will start at 1 p.m.
Written by Mark McGee, Senior Publisher/Director of Media Relations.


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CAMBRIDGE, Mass. – A pair of MIT track and field student-athletes received the prestigious Elite 89 awards from the NCAA at last week's NCAA Division III indoor championship, becoming the first pair of students from the same institution to garner this recognition in the same sport. Juniors Kyle Hannon (Park Ridge, Ill.) and Lauren Kuntz (Pittsburgh, Pa.) were recognized by the NCAA as the student-athletes with the highest cumulative grade point average competing at the final site for each of the NCAA's 89 championships.
This marks the second consecutive season that Hannon has received this honor from the NCAA at the indoor track and field championship, after being tabbed as a sophomore. An electrical engineering and computer science major, Hannon carries a 4.9 grade point average on a 5.0 scale. Hannon was part of Tech's fifth-place distance medley relay team that earned All-America honors at last weekend's championship meet.
Kuntz holds a perfect 5.0 GPA in mechanical engineering and physics and placed 13th overall in the pole vault at the national championship.
No other institution has ever had both the men's and women's Elite 89 winner in a single sport in the same year. MIT track & field has now received the honor four times, as Vladimir Sobes was also tabbed at last year's outdoor championship.
The Elite 89, an award founded by the NCAA, recognizes the true essence of the student-athlete by honoring the individual who has reached the pinnacle of competition at the national championship level in his or her sport, while also achieving the highest academic standard among his or her peers. Eligible student-athletes are sophomores or above who have participated in their sport for at least two years with their school. They must be an active member of the team, traveling and a designated member of the squad size at the championship. All ties are broken by the number of credits completed.


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The best thing the federal government can do to encourage the growth of manufacturing is "to get the hell out of the way," Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC) said Monday following a tour of the Sierra Nevada brewery and nearby Continental plant.
MILLS RIVER - The best thing the federal government can do to encourage the growth of manufacturing is "to get the hell out of the way," Sen. Richard Burr (R-NC) said Monday following a tour of the Sierra Nevada brewery and nearby Continental plant.
"Innovation is going to happen in the U.S. as long as the government doesn't stymie it," Burr said while sharing a Pale Ale with Brian Grossman, general manager of Sierra Nevada's Mills River brewery.
"Wiser words have never been said," said Grossman, who talked dogs, turkey hunting and family vacations with Burr following a grand tour of the $110 million-plus brewery.
Aside from butting out of their business, Burr said the government can help companies like Sierra Nevada by slashing the corporate tax rate to 25 percent and encouraging the exploration of natural gas to assure electricity costs remain stable.
Burr's visit was part of a two-day swing through the western half of the state, where the Republican senator spent Monday touring the Nesbitt Discovery Academy and GE Aviation plant in Asheville, Continental's expanding plant in Fletcher and capped it off with a cold beer at Sierra Nevada.
"I think it's fascinating because until I came here, I didn't realize what a destination it was," Burr said of Sierra Nevada. "I think it's so much like the rest of North Carolina, which is destination after destination. The fact that has been incorporated into an employer that creates jobs is just a great addition."
Grossman, whose father founded the Chico, Calif.-based craft brewery in 1979, told Burr the Mills River facility will eventually employ 170 full- and part-time employees in its brew pub, restaurant and gift shop still under construction and 110 in its production area.
"Well, we're grateful to you for making the investment here," said Burr.
Reducing the corporate tax rate to 25 percent would single-handedly ensure the United States' economic dominance for the next 50 years, Burr said, and offer manufacturers some degree of certainty about their future costs.
"If certainty is there, one can make a conscious decision about capital investment," he said. "Without that certainty, that capital investment may not be made, which is jobs, it's plants, it's equipment."
Burr said few people realize that "it's cheaper to manufacture in the United States today than it is anywhere else in the world," largely because of energy costs. "We've got a three-fold advantage on Tokyo, a four-fold advantage on Beijing," he said. "All we need to do is turn it on a little more."
By encouraging the exploration for natural gas, Burr said the U.S. can not only provide economic stability for domestic utility companies switching from coal, but also increase global security abroad. He said "we ought to be aggressively exporting liquefied natural gas to Europe" to ease its reliance on Russian supplies.
Manufacturing isn't a short-term venture, Burr said; it's a 50-year investment.
"And if we send a signal that says we're committed to being the 800-pound gorilla in energy pricing because we're going to make sure natural gas is plentiful," he said, "we've just assured people they can make a 50-year investment on a product that has a high-energy demand" – manufacturing.
Burr began his day in Henderson County at Continental's plant, where the company machines, plates and assembles caliper brake systems for major automobile manufacturers such as Ford, Chevy, Volvo, BWM and Mercedes Benz.
Over the last five years, Continental has invested about $78 million in three expansions at its Fletcher facility, creating more than 400 new jobs. The most recent expansion, announced last year, added 88,000 square feet and 40 jobs paying in excess of $40,000 a year.
Of his visit to GE Aviation and Continental, Burr said "it shows you the strength of North Carolina in manufacturing, because Continental is the sister company to the one in Morganton and GE is probably the state's fifth- or sixth-biggest employer. It's neat to see, because innovation is happening here."
Burr – who is not facing re-election this fall – will speak Tuesday before the American Legion Convention in Charlotte, followed by a tour of Kee Auto Top.
Reach Axtell at firstname.lastname@example.com or 828-694-7860.


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Leading the way last season was veteran defenseman Wade Redden, who scored eight goals and 34 assists in 70 games. He finished the season with a minus-1 rating. Redden, 34, will return to the team this season, and he will likely play a major leadership role for Connecticut. The veteran defenseman of 994 NHL games could be a top-pair defenseman for the Whale, and he will likely play the point on the team's top power-play unit. Similar to last season, Redden should have a new rookie defenseman to work with. Last season Redden assisted Ryan McDonagh for the first few months of the 2010-11 season, which eventually led to McDonagh being recalled by the New York Rangers and becoming one of the their top-4 defensemen. This year it is expected that Redden will work with 20-year-old rearguard Tim Erixon, who will likely join the Whale after the Rangers play their season opening games in Europe. Although Erixon will not start with the season with Connecticut, when he returns you can expect Redden to help him reach the next level.
Another veteran returnee on this season's squad is 29-year-old Jared Nightingale, who, at the conclusion of the 2010-11 season, signed a one-year contract extension with the Whale. Last season Nightingale scored two goals and six assists in 72 games played. He also amassed 204 penalty-minutes, the most of any defensemen, and finished with a rating of minus-5. Nightingale is known for his physical play, and he will have to continue with that playing style this season, due to lack of physical skaters on the team. Nightingale will probably log top-4 minutes, and spend time on the penalty-kill. Like Redden, the veteran blueliner will be relied on to take some of the younger defensemen under his wing; which is something that he probably will not mind at all. Being one of the only defense-first defenseman on the team, he will be an extremely important player for the Whale.
Offensive-minded defensemen Pavel Valentenko and Blake Parlett will also return to the Whale this season. Valentenko was cut by the Rangers following what was described by coaches as an unimpressive training camp, and he will be looking to prove himself NHL worthy with a big season in Connecticut. During the 2010-11 season, Valentenko scored just five goals and 12 assists in 79 games. He took 38 penalty-minutes and finished with an impressive plus-21 rating. Valentenko was most important in the shot-blocking category, which he led the team in last season. The 23-year-old defenseman is known for his booming shot, and should receive some time on the power-play. It is also likely that he will play top-4 minutes, and possibly spend some time on a pairing with Redden.
As for Parlett, 22, he signed an entry-level deal with the Rangers over the summer following an impressive season with the Whale last year. Parlett appeared in 24 games with the Whale last season after spending most of the year with the Greenville Road Warriors. Parlett scored two goals and 10 assists, along with 17 penalty-minutes and a plus-1 rating. Parlett will likely receive an opportunity to play on the Whale' power-play this season, as he is has proven his offensive talents. He is another player that the Rangers and Whale would like Redden to work with this season.
Jyri Niemi, 21, and Tomas Kundratek, 21, are also on Connecticut's roster this season. Both players played for the Whale last season, although Kundratek appeared in many more games than Niemi did (which was due to an injury Niemi sustained). Kundratek played in 70 games with the Whale last season, and recorded two goals and 10 assists. He took 42 penalty-minutes and finished with an even-0 rating. Reports suggest that Kundratek had an impressive training camp with the Whale, which should earn him a consistent spot in the line-up.
Niemi, however, played in only 46 games last season due to injury. The former Islanders draft pick scored three goals and six assists for Connecticut last season, along with 22 penalty-minutes and a minus-1 rating. Niemi is a very good skater, and if given the proper playing time in the right situations, he could score some goals. Niemi will challenge for a spot in the Whale line-up this season, though it will likely be in the bottom-6.
Lee Baldwin, 23, has made the Whale roster for now, after splitting the 2010-11 season with Greenville and Connecticut. In 21 games with the Whale last year, he failed to record a point but registered 17 penalty-minutes and a minus-1 rating. Baldwin will fight for a spot in the teams' line-up, but he will more than likely be used as a spare defenseman for the most part. He could be re-assigned to the Road Warriors some time during the season, where he should receive plenty of ice-time.
There are a few possible additions to this season's defensive corps, as Brendan Bell and T.J. Fast could become part of the Whale roster. Bell, 28, is expected to begin the season with the Rangers, but could be demoted to Connecticut as soon as the Rangers acquire a defenseman or when an injured blueliner returns. He would become a major part of the team's defense, and he will immediately add another puck-moving defenseman who can play in the top-4.
Fast, 24, signed an ECHL contract with the Road Warriors this summer, but after an impressive camp it looks as though he may have earned a spot on Connecticut's roster. Fast has the ability to become a talented two-way defenseman, and he could play a major role on this season's team if he sticks around. It will be interesting to see what the Whale choose to do with him as the season approaches.
There is also 25-year-old Stu Bickel, who, like Bell, will start the season in the NHL but could be demoted as soon as next week. If that is the case, then he will play a similar role to the one he played last season: a physical, shut-down defenseman. In 54 games with the team last year, he scored just two goals and seven assists along with 135 penalty-minutes and a minus-2 rating. He would certainly be an important addition to the team, although he would likely push Baldwin and possibly Fast off the roster.
Projected defensive depth chart (Note: the following pairings are predictions for the season opener, and are subject to change. These pairings have not been confirmed by the Whale)
May not be the ideal pairing, but until Erixon, Bell and Bickel return, it would work. Parlett will get an opportunity to work alongside a veteran puck-mover in Redden, and he could learn from plays that the 34-year-old makes. Both players are also reliable two-way defensemen, although offense is a big part of their game.
This would be an interesting pairing to say the least, as both players have good offensive instinct but they are also talented in their own end. As long as Valentenko is healthy for the opener, he will be a top-4 defenseman. Kundratek should be tried with Valentenko early in the season, as both players recorded the best plus/minus ratings out of all defensemen who played in 70 or more games in 2010-11.
Granted there are no changes to the roster prior to Saturday's season opener against the Adirondack Phantoms, I truly believe Niemi will earn a spot in the line-up. Partnering him with Nightingale would be a good choice by the Whale coaches. Nightingale plays a physical, shut-down game, and the veteran's playing style would allow a smooth-skating Niemi to carry and move the puck more often. I could also see Fast, Kundratek and Parlett paired with Nightingale for the same purpose; as well as Bell, Erixon and possibly Michael Del Zotto if they return to the AHL.
The extra defensemen, based on these predictions, would then be Fast and Baldwin.
Note: you may notice that 20-year-old Collin Bowman was left off of the preview. That is because he was released from his try-out with the Whale according to his own twitter account.
Follow me on twitter for coverage of the Whale and Rangers prospects @NickPerri_SNYRB
Email me at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Check out my forward preview here.


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Blackmon is a definite sit until he shows something. He's probably still digesting the playbook as he was never really a good route runner in college. That game should be all MJD, with a sprinkle of Mercedes Lewis, and only a couple of balls for Thomas, Robinson, and Blackmon.
San Fran is a tough matchup, but Rogers will likely be on Santonio this week.


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Yep, another 'which boot?' thread, sorry. I've done a lot of searching the interwebs, talking to hikers etc, but I figure the more info the better.
I've been getting into winter hiking over the last couple of years, snowshoeing & some light crampon work on easier hills in VT & NH, but after attending an AMC Advanced Winter Wilderness Travel course last winter, it became readily apparent that my existing winter boots are way too flexible for any crampon work on a slope (and by slope I mean <60 degrees, nothing approaching technical climbing, we had too change our route up Mt Cardigan because most of us had flexible boots....).
So, with winter fast approaching i'm trying to find a decent 'all-round' boot that is reasonably warm, comfy enough to walk 20miles, yet stiff enough for some slope work with crampons. I'm not looking to progress to all-out technical climbing, but would like something that could get me up easier routes in the Presidentials in winter without too much fuss. I appreciate that an 'all-round' boot will not excel in any particular area e.g -30C on Washington summit, very steep slopes, ultimate walking comfort etc., but i'm sure there are boots out that that would suit a newbie like myself.
FYI, my crampons are the Black Diamond Contact 10-point strap-type.
Ideally, i'd like to keep the budget under $400 max, and would prefer to buy locally for the sake of trying different sizes of boots on etc. MEC is my go-to store generally, and they have a reasonable selection of Scarpa, La Sportiva, plus some Mammut, Zamberlin & Asolo products.
Any advice is much appreciated, cheers in advance.


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Results 11-6
Men's college basketball
Ancilla men's basketball starts season with huge win
The Ancilla College men's basketball team began its first season under head coach Aaron Butcher with an impressive victory last Thursday over Concordia Theological Seminary, 116-63
Standout performer Demetrius Adams had 23 points, 14 rebounds and three blocks. Jacob Frazier finished with 17 points and eight rebounds, while Rosey Green added 11 points, eight rebounds and eight assists.
The Chargers will host the Bethel JV Nov. 8 with tipoff at 7 p.m.
Women's college basketball
Lady Chargers drop 2 at Waubonsee Classic
The Ancilla College women's basketball team dropped two games at the Waubonsee Classic to start the 2012-2013 season.
The Lady Chargers lost the first game against Parkland Community College ended 89-35 and fell in the second game against the Northwestern University club team 54-41.
Taylor Pope led the way with 16 rebounds and eight points followed by Knox alum Hope Wagner's nine rebounds and 13 points as the Chargers struggled to convert from the field in the opener.
Pope recorded her first collegiate double-double in Ancilla's second game with 14 rebounds and 10 points, followed by a solid performance from Leah White with 13 rebounds and seven points and Plymouth grad Brittany Himes with 11 rebounds and seven points.
Pope's work over the weekend finds her in the top five nationally for rebounds per game, and the effort put in by Wagner got her a seat as an all-tournament team member.
The Lady Chargers will host the Bethel JV Nov. 8 with tipoff at 5 p.m.
6th grade boys basketball
Bremen beats Walkerton
Bremen's sixth grade boys basketball teams defeated Walkerton Monday at Bremen Middle School.
In the A game, Bremen won 27-12. Bryce Ginter led seven lions in the scoring column with eight points. T.J. Leonard and Nate Mullen had six points each, while Evan Manges, David Slos and Justin Zumbrun scored two points each, and Zach Gilley chipped in a point.
In the B game, Bremen won 28-7. Dakota Schmeltz led the Lions with eight points. Cameron Napier added seven points, Jack Barnes had six points, Bryce Calentine had four points, Raul Jimenez added two points, and Kain Hammons chipped in with one point.


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WESLEY CHAPEL, Fla. - Mark Folkwein, a full-time student at Hank Haney International Junior Golf Academy on Hilton Head Island, won his second event of the year on Sunday.
Folkwein, a native of Midland, Mich., captured the Boys 15-19 Division at the International Junior Golf Tour Florida Swing at Saddlebrook. He shot rounds of 72 and 70 to edge out classmate Poom Pattaropon (Bangkok, Thailand) by one stroke.
In the Boys Under 14 Division, Lohith Ramaraju (London, England), also a student at Hank Haney IJGA, fired rounds of 74 and 76 to win by three strokes over Will Thomson (Pittsford, NY).
Ayaka Nakayama (Kanagawa, Japan) won her seventh event of the season in the Girls Under 19 Division. Nakayama, another Hank Haney IJGA student, shot 78 and 72 to win by one stroke over classmate Cake Phuchanbanchob (Chiang Mai, Thailand).
The tour will make its next stop Saturday and Sunday at Hilton Head for the IJGT KENTWOOL Socks Open at Oyster Reef. The tournament is open to players aged 9-19 in three divisions: Boys 15-19, Boys Under-14 and Girls Under-19.


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Commercial Kitchen Equipment (CKE) Supplies in Sriperumbudur has been established for over 10+ years as a trader in commercial kitchen equipment supplies servicing the kitchen, hospitality, café, restaurant, and catering industries. We sell a huge range of quality catering equipment and hospitality supplies and have experienced and helpful staff to support you, by phone or e-mail.
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Four Doors
cooking equipments
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