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New Cars + New Gear + New Technology First Drive We've always considered the Volkswagen Jetta an integral part of the European car community. Since its first incarnation 25 years ago, the Jetta served as a foundation for many aspiring European car owners. It was the "anti-Corolla," a chance for Joe Anyone to experience a well-engineered German machine. Light on its feet with lots of interior space, the Jetta represented all that was good with Volkswagen... for America anyway. Europe never "got" the Jetta where models like the Golf and wagon variants reigned supreme. Whatever. We still got a great, utilitarian car that was fun to drive. That was just fine with VW, which depended on robust Jetta sales to feed its people. And while the Jetta has continued to dominate VW's U.S. sales, it's not dominating hard enough. Volkswagen says it wants to sell more than 800,000 units per year here in the U.S. by 2018, a significant number for any carmaker. To meet that goal, VW had to create a its own "Toyota Corolla" of sorts, trade some of its European-bred mojo for accessibility. And as much as we love cars like the Phaeton, R32, and Touareg V10, they aren't paying VW's bills. Lessons from the ubiquitous aircooled Beetle might do well here.
In its most basic form, a Jetta S will cost $15,995, placing it just south of a like-equipped Toyota product. Compared to the Corolla, the Jetta sports numerous advantages including cost, legroom, rear legroom, and trunk space. VW had several basic S models on hand, all clad with normally aspirated 2.0-liter engines, 15-inch steel wheels, rear drum brakes, cloth seats, and five-speed manual gearboxes. How much European car could one get for $15,995? How many corners had to be cut, how much performance sacrificed? How compromised would the product be?
In short, the base Jetta S is pretty good. Compared to its Asian-built competition, the Jetta comes off as a polished Euro, combining good ergonomics with a balanced chassis. You'll really need to flog the engine to make things happen, but what do you expect from an aging eight-valve mill? Like most front-hookers, the Jetta will push in hard corners and come back in line by lifting the throttle. Although the Jetta S has reverted to the older hydraulically-assisted steering, it still retains a good feel, perhaps a bit light in the middle but nothing serious. Although I had no issues with five-speed manual gearbox, my co-driver did. She mis-shifted several times, nearly launching me though the windshield. Of course, she blamed the car. Truth is it's a decent manual transmission with a fairly light clutch. The brakes work just fine and while the car would dive a bit under hard deceleration, the suspension is firm, especially for a Jetta.
Inside, this car feels big, almost Passat big. It's about three inches longer than the previous generation and a bit wider. There's a feeling of space between the driver and passenger and people in the rear will benefit from three more inches of legroom.
The cabin is tastefully trimmed, a bit spartan but that's OK; the important stuff is where it needs to be (no extraneous gadgets or gear). VW has covered the inside with new materials that appear less luxurious than on the previous model but few will notice (unless they owned the previous model). The new cabin comes off as a nice piece, especially the sporty three-spoke steering wheel. Perhaps my only gripe were the seats. Apparently they were designed for folks with really big butts. In any case, getting in and out of the new Jetta is a breeze. (Perhaps that was the goal all along).
The 2011 Jetta will be available in four trim levels-S, SE, SEL, and GLI. As noted, the Jetta S will start at $15,995 with a 2.0-liter engine, five-speed manual, air conditioning, cloth interior, ABS/ESP, and 15-inch steel wheels. The SE gets a 2.5-liter engine, 16-inch wheels (still steel), leatherette interior, and a handful of additional conveniences for a base price of $18,195. For $21,395, the SEL adds rear disc brakes, chrome trim, 17-inch alloy wheels, trip computer, foglights, touchscreen nav, and keyless access. When it becomes available, the TDI will only be offered in SE trim, but with some of the SEL equipment thrown in with the pricier motor. The outgoing Jetta had more than 100 possible trim variations, whereas this has been reduced to just 18 in the new model (excluding colors and emission combos). This is the first of many moves that help bring the price down through reduced model proliferation.
I've followed enough of the VW fanboy sites to learn the new Jetta has caused more than a little consternation among the VW faithful. And rightfully so. No Volkswagen enthusiast wants to see his favorite chassis regress. Truth is, this car isn't designed for them. Volkswagen wants all those Toyota owners to step into something a little more engaging. If VW can match Toyota's bulletproof build quality, it just might work.
All you hardcore Jetta lovers will want to wait for the upcoming GLI with its 2.0-liter turbo engine, electro-mechanical steering, and independent rear suspension. I'd also wager Volkswagen will dress the body with snarky new aerodynamics to distinguish it from its lesser-equipped brethren. Or hell, try the TDI Jetta. For the money, the TDI Jetta is hands-down the best value in the turbodiesel arena. It's quick and quiet and gets absolutely phenomenal mileage. No, it won't be as inexpensive as the base Jetta S, but it represents as significant step forward in the Jetta's evolution. Stay tuned.
2.0-liter I4, dohc, 8-valve
Five-speed manual; optional six-speed automatic
MacPherson struts and coil springs (f), torsion beam axle and coil springs (r)
Length/Width/Height (in.):
Wheelbase: 104.4
Curb Weight: 2,804 lb
Peak Power: 115 hp @ 5200 rpm
Peak Torque: 125 lb-ft @ 4000 rpm
0-60 mph: 11 sec.
Top Speed: 120 mph


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Festival / Tour Tickets
BBig Ears Festival Tickets
Boston Calling Music Festival Tickets
Bottlerock Festival Tickets
british summer time Tickets
Buku Music Art Project Tickets
Burning Man Tickets
Buzz Under The Stars Tickets
Ccalifornia roots festival Tickets
Chris Lane Tickets
Cincinnati Music Festival Tickets
Cma Music Festival Tickets
Country Jam Tickets
Crazy Horse Tickets
EElectric Forest Tickets
Epicenter Festival Tickets
Erykah Badu Tickets
Essence Music Festival Tickets
Ssaturday Tickets
Sawyer Brown Tickets
Silk Tickets
Sir Charles Jones Tickets
Something Wonderful Tickets
state champs Tickets
Sunfest Tickets
Sweetwater Fest Tickets
Details of Festival / Tour and the Ticket Luck value
Numerous music festivals take place all year around in the US. Music, entertainment and cultural arts can all be seen in one or the other festival. Most of these festivals are held during the summer time. Beach side music events and pool parties are among the ones that are enjoyed the most. With the start of every year, the festival goers get a long list of upcoming festivals, and most of these take place during summer. Festival Tour tickets start selling fast around spring time.
One of the most famous festivals in the country is Bonnaroo. This four-day festival features music of all genres, including jazz, hip-hop, reggae, country and bluegrass. Many famous artists, including Soul Khan, Jenny Suk, Knower and Black Violin have previously performed in the festival. Besides listening to some amazing music and dancing all you want, Bonnaroo also features other activities.
Shopping and food vendors provide the people with a fun and easy way to hang out with their friends. The festival first took place in 2002, and today it is named by Rolling Stone Magazine among the "50 Moments That Changed Rock & Roll" and Consequence of Sound ranked it as "Festival of the Decade". In addition to that, Bonnaroo has also earned much fame, acclaim and awards, for instance SPIN named it as "The Festival of the Year".
The Arts Festival in California, the Great GoogaMooga in New York and the Coachella Valley Music are considered as the warm-up events for the summer music festivals that take place around the country. Music lovers get to dance to the beats and tunes presented by the best artists of electronic, hip-hop, indie-rock and folk genres. These artists include Kendrick Lamar, Beyonce, Nine Inch Nails and Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
The Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival is a three-day event held in California. The festival features numerous music genres such as hip hop, pop, rock, indie and country. There are different stages, each featuring an artist simultaneously. The main stages include Coachella Stage, Gobi Tent, Outdoor Theatre, Sahara Tent and Mojave Tent. Many acclaimed musicians, including Amy Winehouse, Snoop Dog, Paul McCartney, Roger Waters, Daft Punk, The Cure and Florence and the Machine have performed at the great festival in the past.
The comedy festival, Kevin & Bean's April Foolishness 2015 is ready to run several productions across the country. It is a comedy festival where several comedians participate, showcasing their talents to make audiences laugh. The lineup of the festival has also been announced and comedians like Adam Carolla, Marc Maron and Jim Jefferies will be taking part in the festival this year.
In these festivals, numerous touring artists perform as well. Currently, Outkast is on its 2015 tour and will be performing in more than forty festivals across the country. This American hip-hop group is one of the most successful ones of its genre. The duo has won six Grammys and has sold more than twenty five million units. Additionally, the ensemble has also earned international critical acclaim and has been called among the best.
Pop King, Justin Timberlake continues his The 20/20 Experience Tour and will be appearing as one of the festival's headliner. He has enthralled millions with his music, youthful voice and performances before. In his upcoming show, Justin is ready to entertain his fans once again. Many other touring artists such as Lady Gaga, Katty Perry and Beyonce will also be seen performing live. Festival Tour tickets will take you to many festivals where you can experience great music by the hottest touring acts of today.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q:Will I be able to buy mayhem festival tickets at even better prices close to the event?
A:No, Fairs Tour Tickets prices will remain as they are regardless of when you buy them.
Q:Can I transfer my tour tickets to someone else?
A:No, you cannot transfer your Fairs Tour Tickets to someone else.

subset: commoncrawl


text: Job Discussion Forums :: View topic - X is the Saudi Arabia of Y Get TEFL Certified & Start Your Adventure Today! Job Discussion Forums"The Internet's Meeting Place for ESL/EFL Students and Teachers from Around the World!" FAQ Search Memberlist Usergroups Register Profile Log in to check your private messages Log in X is the Saudi Arabia of Y Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Saudi Arabia View previous topic :: View next topic Author Message wantokJoined: 05 Jul 2012Posts: 168 Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:21 am Post subject: X is the Saudi Arabia of Y Im having trouble keeping my Saudi Arabia analogies straight lately... http://open.salon.com/blog/danagram/2012/09/24/the_saudi_arabia_of_metaphors http://green.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/07/01/contest-replace-the-saudi-arabia-trope/ Back to top BarbarosJoined: 18 Aug 2012Posts: 58Location: North of France Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:33 pm Post subject: Is like saying " Scotland is the Magic Kingdom of camel milk" Scot will be happy with this. Then, what is the "Saudi Arabia" of Saudi Arabia itself? Back to top Display posts from previous: All Posts1 Day7 Days2 Weeks1 Month3 Months6 Months1 Year Oldest FirstNewest First Job Discussion Forums Forum Index -> Saudi Arabia All times are GMT Page 1 of 1 Jump to: Select a forum Where to Begin----------------General DiscussionNewbie ForumCurrent Events ForumTechnology ForumOnline Teaching Forum Africa Forums----------------General Africa Forum Asia Forums----------------CambodiaChina (Job-related Posts Only)China (Off-Topic)Hong KongIndiaIndonesiaJapanMalaysiaPhilippinesSingaporeTaiwanThailandGeneral Asia ForumVietnam Caribbean Forums----------------General Caribbean Forum Europe Forums----------------Czech RepublicFranceGermanyGreeceItalyMacedonia and the BalkansPolandRomaniaRussia & C.I.S.SpainTurkeyUkraineUnited KingdomGeneral Europe Forum Latin America Forums----------------ArgentinaBrazilChileColombiaCosta RicaMexicoMexico (off-topic)PeruGeneral Latin America Forum The Middle East Forums----------------BahrainEgyptIsraelKuwaitOmanQatarSaudi ArabiaUnited Arab EmiratesGeneral Middle East Forum North America Forums----------------General North America Forum Oceania----------------Australia/New Zealand You cannot post new topics in this forumYou cannot reply to topics in this forumYou cannot edit your posts in this forumYou cannot delete your posts in this forumYou cannot vote in polls in this forum This page is maintained by the one and only Dave Sperling. Contact Dave's ESL Cafe Copyright © 2018 Dave Sperling. All Rights Reserved. Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2002 phpBB Group Teaching Jobs in China


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More BFT's on the dock- we had 3 brought into the OIFC today. 1 was 78 inches, 1 was 80 inches and 1 was 65 inches. There seemed to be a good number of fish hooked today, mostly in the 60-70 inch range. The bites that occurred were between the Shark Hole and the Knuckle buoy.
- Capt. Brant McMullan


text:
Should the WNBA Lower Hoops for Women? — Sports Survey of the Day
Women's basketball isn't growing in popularity, and University of Connecticut head coach Geno Auriemma thinks he knows the reason why.
Auriemma says that if you want more people to watch and attend women's basketball, you need to lower the hoops. He says that players miss shots because the hoops are too high, which slows the game down and causes people to lose interest. (And by the way, in case you didn't know, there is a new WNBA champion: the Indiana Fever.)
Is this something that could cause the women's game to gain prominence? Well, a lot of things would be easier if you changed the rules. Maybe the NHL should consider using soccer-size goals to make things more exciting—if, of course, there even is an NHL anymore.


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I have heard over and over here and other places that before one year, solids are for fun, for learning how to chew, understand textures and flavors, etc. But then I keep reading (eg here: http://www.cdc.gov/nutrition/everyon...mins/iron.html) that after 6 months, baby's iron stores start to be depleted and that breast milk is relatively low in iron so the need to start taking it in in solids in the form of iron fortified cereal or meat.
We started solids at 6 months as recommended and my baby is 7.5 months now. We've introduced iron-fortified oatmeal, winter squash, sweet potato, applesauce, pears, bananas, avocado, green beans, broccoli and mango. My husband and I eat mostly vegetarian diets and to be honest, I am just squeamish about cooking and pureeing meat. (As for the pureeing issue, I've read a lot about baby-led solids and we do offer her whole, non-pureed foods for some items, but with meat I think I would worry about her choking. Also, I have read that the iron in pureed meat is better absorbed than when it's in chunks.)
I'm happy to offer her meat but I feel totally lost. Should I be doing this now? Can anyone out there hold my hand a little bit and explain in a lot of detail how they feed meat to an infant? Or is the oatmeal enough for now?


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I farted when I came once.
Now you...
the thread
it has ended before it started
the thread
or is that your faux-pas?
you turn
my own words against me to imply I have an inability to sexually satisfy women due to a complete lack of staying power, for which I salute you, alas that is the least of my problems.
square peg
round hole?
pentagonal peg
smooth unblemished surface, as far as the eye can see
smooth umblemishes surface, you say?
i hate my lovelife
It's no faux-pas, 29
It's a power boost. Girls love that, I'm pretty sure.
:D I was in a rush, admittedly
Oh god. Someone else please have some amusing yet embarrassing tale.
Surely many people
have fallen asleep? I'll admit I have. Somteime's you're just tired, you know............
yeah i think thats pretty standard
sex can be rather tiring....
true dat
done that..
a few times.
The look of confused hurt on their faces always alerted me to something wrong..
I laughed once, my ex was so earnest about everything
all the time, I was always very conscious of the fact that I shouldn't laugh when she was being all intense, but, the more I thought about it the more I desperately needed to laugh.
NEVER laugh at a girl during sex.
i want to hear more of this story
if you laugh for some reason during sex
and your partner laughs back, understanding exactly why you're laughing and not being uptight or humorless enough to join in, you will know you have found what douchebags would call "the one"
ALWAYS laugh at a girl diuring sex
if you cant laugh with each other over those sorts of things, then you shouldn't be getting naked together and doing the sex
Totally agree with laughing together
Embarressing stuff happens during sex - it is possibly one of the most undignified acts two people can take part in together and things are bound to go a bit array sometimes. Laughing at it just makes it less embarressing and more toegethery.
As for faux pas, I've had numerous leg cramps, clicky knees, bumped heads, wierd noises, dead arms etc etc, although I wouldn't necessarily call them faux pas.
- Mick_Squalor this'd this
I don't think it's usually
a case of laughing AT the girl during sex. More of laughing with her. It's a great feeling.
I laugh all the tim
I didn't realise it was a faux pas. actually it's more like giggling.
all the
What was the reaction?
I mentioned this the other night, but an untentional headbutt occured when losing my virginity.
this was originally directed at Twentynine, but somehow the 3 posts got through at the same time.
A look of absolute terror
Mixed with mild disgust.
I'd love to say I topped the moment off with a witty retort but the humilation still haunts me (and makes me laugh in equal measure) some 6 years later
Ha. Poor you!
An ex used to wet the bed when really pissed. Obviously he didn't get any then.
my ex
used to piss the bed, or in the corner of the room and pnch me in the face when totally pissed. FUN TIMES
My friend wet the bed after a one-night stand once
he blamed it on her and she got really embarrassed.
I can't quite fathom what was wherehedgehog this'd this
that is
but for a serious answer, pretty much twentynines, but with a loud burp instead. i dont think the two were related though, just unfortunate
Not really sexual, but definitely a faux pas
I staggered round to the girlfriend's house severely drunk around 1 am one nigth a month or two ago.
What I am now repeating is mostly hazy for me, but her and her two housemates corroborate it all.
1) I knocked on the door, and when it opened, literally fell straight through it.
2) Got carried upstairs, put in bed.
3) Was kissed on cheek and comforted and then told to remove my tshirt and jeans. My response: "STOP TRYING TO RAPE ME!)
4) Given glass of water. Girlfriend sat behind me, urging me to drink. I somehow manage, 'Airplane' style; to throw the water over my shoulder instead of into my mouth when trying to drink, hitting the girlfriend in the face and thus soaking her.
The rest is not worth telling nor as amusing, but apparently I started shuddering and quivering and spazzing out in my sleep, meaning she slept on the floor that night, away from my flailing limbs.
Oh, and of course I once accidentally headbutted her in the 'area' when down there. And also managed to roll off the bed with her and land on the floor one time. And then I also slammed her head against a shelf, which was pretty lol.
I am a drunken oaf
pretty much.
"Stop trying to rape me!" still brings me out in fits of giggles.
Brilliant! I'm in tears! :D
embarassing no
almost as bad getting your legs stuck inside your trousers and falling over and banging your head on a desk.
Man, I'm so inept at sexy stuff :(
that is fantastic :)
i have also done the tings in the last paragraph. bed wrestling can be fun for some, but i get a bit competitive. last time i dropped an elbow drop from my windowsill onto the bed then powerbombed my ex girlfriend
have you tried the Walls of Jericho as a position? Tis deep...
it wouldnt work
unless in reverse, but thats just the wheelbarrow then innit
the tombstone position is pretty intense though.
flailing limbs! sounds like...
something i had the pleasure of overhearing/experiencing at a friend of mines house once.
after a merry party, folk are sleeping where they pass out. i myself have managed to pull but my new acquaintance has decided to vacate (:(). anyway, i can never sleep at these to do's and i was up and about with the other hangers on that were awake and still gurning. then all of a sudden, a girl, clearly distressed, storms past, tears streaming down her face. she's quickly followed by a bloke who was covering his jewels yelping for said girl to come back. we who are a bit surpised by this sudden blaze of naked activity ask him whats he did to deserve this...
he genuinely said:
"well, this song came on, and i just couldn't control myself so i got up to dance and since she was on top, i sorta took her with me..."
he'd lept up, flew out of her, while she flew off the bed and landed with a thud. ..
thus, never shag and dance
such a mong!
Surprised he didnt have pilly willy too
once I accidently pointed out that a girl had made my fingers go all wrinkley... aparently I shouldn't have pointed that out.
Ha ha.
It was worst pubic hairstyle I've ever seen.
'worst pubic hairstyle'
now there's a google image search and a half.
...no, I'm not ready yet.
In your own good time
Don't try and force the issue. That's how all this got started.
Couldn't find any bad pubes
But have most definitely found the worst thong - https://secure.fantasygirl.co.uk/acatalog/hairstyle5.jpg
It deserves it's own thread really.
All you need to know is that it involved a small quantity of poo. And that to this day I'm amazed I got away with it.
As a compromise for the disappointment you're all no doubt feeling, can I interest you in a tale of cunt-kneeing? I knee girls in the cunt. A lot. The lesson is: NEVER MOVE ANY PART OF YOUR BODY DURING SEX.
Surely if you just don't move your knees
you should be okay?
nah, cause then you just move your elbows
and elbows are sharper and bonier than knees.
Unless you are Peter Crouch
In which case your entire body is sharp and you cut your sexual partners to ribbons.
and now i think we all need to know the poo tale...
I think he crapped on a naked peter crouch, narrowly avoiding death by extreme laceration.
The scary thing is
the truth may actually be worse.
imagine being intimate with that
'jesus is watching you'
praise be for
a second coming
I see your wotsit and raise you a woah:
was that before she shaved her body hair?
I like the fact that she looks surprised. What is she looking at?
she's gorping at her own festerous stench?
her minge is bigger than my torso!
Let's just say, my finger was in a certain area when it encountered a certain object. And there was almost much vom and recrimination, but I regained my composure and got rid of it before the previous owner of said object noticed it was no longer in her possession.
The next morning, the object somehow returned. Attached to furniture. Again, there was almost vom, but I regained my composure and got rid of it again. Permanently this time.
^ ah, haha
oh god, and so eloquently told.
Actual words spoken (both times)
Me: "NOO!!"
Her: "What?"
Me: "NOTHING... nothing..."
I can imagine that being part of a film
and it zooming in on your face, contorted in "NOOOO!" before cutting to the object, lying on the furniture and looking out of place and slightly lost.
you should stop watching shit films
geddit? arfarf!
I started reading this thread ...
feeling quietly confident I didn't have any awful stories...
Alas, I've been proved wrong.
But I'm not sharing.
And I'm sticking with no.
There's nothing too gory/gruesome/exciting...
then let us all assume
That wouldn't exactly
be a sexual faux pas of mine though, would it?
An impotent girl?
How does that work?
you farted when you came
I just spat out a soggy biscuitandyvine this'd this
my worst tales
involve the word "rag".
no further comment.
you're just lazy
'coz she was already wet :p
how about putting mouth places.
doings things with my "specials".
removing safety things.
realising that i was a very, very very lucky boy.
damn, i feel dirty thinking about it now.
abandon reply.
Shouting "fork spaz!"
instead of "faux pas".
Sorry I don't have any :(
No seriously,
I've not exactly been in that situation enough to even have committed a major faux pas.
I think the worst it gets me is saying "what film shall we watch tonight?" after about half an hour of foreplay when things were starting to get a lot more intense (what was I thinking?). And that's not half as bad as some I've read above.
after a night out on the beers and a takeaway on the way home. The action finally kicked off back in the bedroom. midway through I realise all is not well in the digestive region, in fact there is a serious fucking problem. Like a true hero I persist and take us both to the crest of the hill (badly), detach, crawl to the en suite which was 2 yards from the bed and hurled my guts up for a solid 5 mins. I crawl back to the bed, forgetting to clean teeth naturally, and in time honoured tradition, passout for approx 8 hours. beers + greasy takeway + hot f*cking action not a winning combo, apparantly.
and in case you're wondering...
that was indeed the last time I shared a bed with that particular lady
if it makes you feel better...
and it shouldn't...Ashley Cole's done that too...
I've done that. Whoops.
I once went to take a pee after slicing up chilis
without washing my hands. The pain.
Nothing much worse than
asking a girl if she minded if I got my coat 10 minutes after meeting her. That perttymuch ended any making outs that were going on.
I've never done this but...
It's always a struggle to fight my comedy instincts and say...make a deliberately stupid noise at the crucial point. Like an Alan Partridge style 'A-ha!'.
I'm still unsure whether the 'never-having-sex-again' outweighs the potential LOLs...deadonthestairs this'd this
:D talking about the
pedestrianisation of Norwich City centre = instant passion killer.
better access to DIX....ONS!
AP chocolate mousse classic. dumping his lady over the radio while she rides the cab home he booked her.
one time when a girl wasn''t ready to have sex yet
but we were kind of fooling around she said she didn't want to go all the way and i replied "i don't think i can stop myself"
yeah, she thought i was going to rape her. oops.
i'd just like to make it clear
that i wasn't
I once accidentally
knocked a girl out, by hitting her head against the wall whilst things were getting a bit more frantic.
The BEST story though. Names may be blurred in this story
Boy and Girl are in house. Girls parents leave. Girl then issues the invitation that you can 'do absolutely ANYTHING to me'.
Boy elects to fuck her in the arse on the sofa. All is going well, until the unexpected sound of the parents car arriving home.
Boy panics and pulls out creating a vacuum effect which sucks out what can only be described as a nugget of crap.
The couple only had enough time to get dressed, before the parents entered the room and noticed the poo on the sofa. They enquired as to what had happened.
Trying to maintain a straight-face, the Boy said 'The dog shat on the sofa'
story ever!!!
and then two days later...
the family realised they didn't have a dog...and were mightily confusled...
I've had a couple
-Knocked myself out on a low lying shelf. She perversely carried on
-Had to get up mid act because I thought I was going to be sick as her breath stank of reef. Dry heaved for a bit, then came back and started again
-Whilst sexing in a friend's room, I accidentally blurted "Man, Tom's room is really messy isn't it?"
-Fooling around in bed with an ex, and her mum came in with an elderly neighbour who wanted to us the computer to print some photos. I then had to get up and help out.
My fave though didn't happen to me but my old flat mate. Mid blow job he had to tell a girl, "Sorry can you not suck on that ball? It's fake, as I had testicular cnacer last year"
i would've been like
Your second time
should be one of the greatest sexual experiences of your entire life. You've dispelled the anxieties associated with 'losing your viriginity;' so it's time to start, like, actually getting on and enjoying it.
Said enjoyment, let it be known, can be greatly impaired by the severance of a very small strip of flesh in a very sensitive area.
this happened to a friend of a friend
i was being told the story and nearly gipped.
he was getting wanked off and she cocked it like a shotgun and clean snapped it in half. apparently the skin was flapping about
I've had it somehow get nicked during sex.
Unsurprisingly it bleeds like a motherfucker.
somebody i know
snapped his banjo string during drunken sex, and made a phone call to his mother in the middle of the night which opened with the immortal line, 'mum, i've broken my cock!'
^ same for me
his mum was a nurse
i should clarify
i know someone who this happened to
a girl had tried to have a threesome with me and a friend
but the friend was attached at the time so declined, i took her to my room, and after a minute or so of fumbling she told me that she only wanted to be with my friend so was going home, i pleaded "could i at least get a blow job?"
a lifetime low.
This thread
= best ever. I only wish I had something good to contribute.
You don't ask
you don't get
I was getting it on with a male friend,
we had both fancied each other for a while I think. Starting to really enjoy ourselves and then he suddenly starts going "yeah you're my bitch aren't you! Yeah!"... I laugh, he looks dejected, game over.
We both pretend it never happened now.
I dunno, i would say
"Yeah I am and you're the king" or whatever, I just couldn't help die laughing
thats so embarassing
silly things people say in sex = lols
i think
we've all tried the "blowjob plea" at some desperate moments in our lives.
no faux pas really
but when i've been drunk and having sex before, i sometimes would start trying to debate philosophical questions with myself, out loud, like "what's the meaning of life?"...my ex just thought it was funny
Over Exuberant Anal Sex
Poo coming out. Smells bad. Showers, Crying (by her, not me) telling her it was OK, that it wasn't bad (it was) not getting my rocks off.
"Stanley Ternent's illegitimate,
He aint got no birth certificate
He's got AIDS and he can't get rid of it
Dirty Burnley Bastard"
to a one night stand when i noticed a Burnley poster on her wall, whilst on the job.
Starting an uncontrollable fit of giggles when my girlfriend at the time did a queef which sounded uncannily like a transformer transforming.
getting passionate with a lady in some toilets in a hotel, lifting her onto the sink and smacking her head and back on the mirror whilst soaking her arse with the taps.
etc etc.
^ Hahaha!
I accidentally made an ex-girlfriend cry because of being unable to stop laughing at a particularly loud and violent series of queefs.
I felt bad about upsetting her, but it was very very funny.
my ex
started working on me while i was still asleep. Perhaps her idea of a nice morning surprise. I woke up with her on me and promptly yelled "Get the fuck off me!"
a day of apologising and promising that I DID find her sexually attractive ensued.
forgetting the other particpant's name COMPLETELY
ruminating about what it might be to the detriment of performance; eventually making excuses and moving to leave; responding to request to "call me, ok?" with "sorry, I can't save your number because I really can't remember what your name is".
I hate you all
This thread has caused me to get a fit of the giggles at work.
I can't stop, everything is funny now.
Sexing with my ex in his friends toilet
I thought he was bleeding, it turned out to be poo. And worst of all it was on his friends duvet. We tried washing it off with timotei shampoo (whilst pissing ourselves laughing) only to end up ripping the duvet and feathers flying everywhere. Of course, we denied everything.
*her duvet
We took it into the toilet, as a Polish man was sharing the room we were sleeping in, and we were far too polite to have sex in his presence.
this has nothing to do with sex
but when i was round a friends house once i went for a poo and there was no toilet roll left. so i used one of their towels. The friends younger sister got the blame.
Shouting STOP THE CLOCK at the end
this never happened by the way.
I know what this thread is lacking
after sex: "so is your name (name with one letter changed to make a different name) or (actual name)"
and from the other way round
*lying in post coital bliss. bloc party's So Here We Are plays on the stereo*
her: "i always get Mull Historical Society mixed up with Bloc Party cos they both have a darkie in them"
Be PREPARED:
Obviously this story isn't about me. I only wish that one day I will get myself into a situation where I can make a faux pas....
At my old school there was this story going around about a sixth year couple (sixth form is almost the equivalent. 16/17/18 year olds). They were at her house for the weekend, as her parents were away. They start getting pretty amorous, as young things do.
Now you have to understand, my last school wasn't exactly filled with the most erudite and charming of people. It was in a commuter village that people only knew by which motorway it bordered onto.
Anyway, she was going down on him and he was liking it, a lot really. Just as he was about to come (and I like to imagine this as if it were said by a town crier):
Then he splooged on her face. It's good to let bitches know, y'know?
The best part is, she was so upset and confused by this (frankly quite earnest) announcement that she ran out OF HER OWN HOUSE.
They split up.
I should'ave posted this earlier. It won't get the recognition it deserves.
I noticed.
My very very pissed mate
threw up on his then-girlfriend while having sex with her on a pool table, shouted 'CLEAN IT UP' at her and walked off.
Best thread of all time
I have laughed for the last 20 minutes.
For my part, I have never had any sexual disasters. I don't get it that often, and when I do, I don't leave anything to chance.
I can't be bothered to post any stories here.
Maybe later.
tell the bead story!
the bead story!
69 votes!!!!
you knocked stuff over with morning wood?
Give the boy a prize! :)
this post ^^
is frickin hilarious
Ooh you prude
I was getting a relationship-first beejay from a girl I had just started seeing...
Anyway, she was the non-swallowing kind...
and the second I reached the denouement, so to speak...
she moved away...
at which point I said, totally quippy-joking and affectionate, like:
'Ooh, you prude!' - sort of camped up, a la Frankie Howerd.
Anyway, she was really upset - she said it was such a personal thing and for me to be making a joke of it was a dreadful breach of intimacy and far too flippant etc... really narked off.
Probably right, but I really didn't forsee that response. A good example of ironic sexism and laddishness being interpreted (probably correctly) as sexism and laddishness.
Needless to say I don't say that anymore.
I think I have a new catchprase!
you should do a BErnard Bresslaw impression next time
That'll confuse things.
this post has tipped me over the edge
i pretty much never want to have sex or go near a human being ever again :Dthis'd this
oh. jesus.
just, oh jesus.
'jam'med hehe
i too did the pissing thing.. over my ex, she told my me to get the f**ck out of her house (as she would) i being completely bollocksed replied with .."get out of my house" and proceeded to piss all over her bed (thinking it was the loo i add) .. admist the screams her brother was called from the next room, who she wanted "support" from he in turn walked from his bedroom into the laundry room, flipped up the washing basket lid and proceeded to piss in there (also thinking it was the toilet..) needless to say she was happy.. the story does continue but im starting to laugh at my own experiences..
just no :(
pools of bright crimson blood from my willy's torn banjo string, not feeling the pain because of drugs and causing my girlfriend to scream in terror and run to the bathroom to check her womb hadn't fallen out or something.
Serious. Scary. Urgh.
does it make it any better that I didn't bleed on her
just all over myself?
No? OK.
Making fun
of their cum-face is always good value too ;o)
Done that too! Twice!
id been in shock if this happened
what are you meant to do when this happens?
not a faux pas really
but overheard an ex (I'd be seeing her a couple of weeks) saying to her male friend that she'd never you know, get her laffing gear round it.
I binned her the next day.
Nothing major
but the thing that went down worst was when I asked something like "I wonder if Natasha Kaplinsky had to practise ice skating before she did that tonight."
It was new year's eve 2005 and I'd been drinking a lot, and I've always been a big Kaplinsky fan. Lady wasn't pleased, though.
almost being sick
when a girl fanny farted.
My friend was hammered and had been watching porn
he took a girl back to his during his first week of uni and was dramatically trying to re-enact some of the quite bold moves he'd seen.
Apparently it ended, as so often these things do,when he had her in what must have looked simillar to the walls of jericho, then slammed his head into a shelf and knocked himself clean unconscious.
it's true
but hilarious too :)
At the bottom of this page.
Is a small link that says:
"Digital Singles Club Unveiled"
I was once so impressed
with my ex's staying power. Trouble is I was so delighted I wouldn't shut up wondering exactly how long it had lasted. So I started going on about timing each 'event'.
This lead to the most disappointing, ruined action. On which I blame my introduction of the stop watch.
I was naively confused at the time,(no pun intended) it all seems so obvious now.
My ex did this a few times,
apparently impressed with his own stamina, although he didn't go as far as to use a stop-watch. Other times he would apologise immediately afterwards if he didn't think he was good enough, or thank me.
When I was young and reckless, I once farted in 69 position
...I think I slept alone that night
having just had sex with a girl and her annoucing how good it was i annouced "yeah just scratching an itch wasn't it" i was trying to establish a casual feeling as did not want to end up in a relationship with said young lady, what i actually ended doing was landing myself in terribly hot water and creating a reputation for myself as a cold emotionless bastard... whoops
^ ha ha ha ah ha
Kissing my ex after going down on her didn't make her too happy.
She was more than happy to let me stick my tongue down there, silly cow.
ungrateful much
You people are filthy animals.
*Am afraid I can't share on this thread, although I miss the days of anonymity in cases like this.
Not my biggest sexual faux pas but
I was supposed to be staying at a friends house in East London but met a nice girl at a party. When she asked if I wanted to come back to the flat that she had just moved into she did warn me that it was a bit of a mess. I wrongly assumed that she was being a typical girl and that they'd just be a few towels left lying about on the floor or the odd bit of lingerie sticking out of a laundry basket. How wrong i was! We ended up walking for what seemed like miles through the grimy streets to what looked like East Londons version of The Projects. I was led up a darkly lit flight of stairs that were strewn with litter and stank of dank, stale piss into a run down flat that could quite easily have been kindly described as a squat. She lived with two other people who, thankfully, I didn't meet but I knew that I had made a bad mistake when I went into the toilet to take a piss and noticed that inhabitants had been wiping their arses with week old copies of The Metro.
Perhaps I should have left then but horniness and, after feeling incredibly lucking for having avoided being gang smashed in downtown east London, self preservation took over, so I went into her bedroom. Talk about out of the frying pan and into the fire! Her room was an even bigger dump then the shambles of a flat that preceeded it. There was a single mastress strewn in the corner, old clothes all over the floor and an empty Fray Bentos pie can laying next to the bed. Worst still was that there were clearly visible racist slogans dawbed all over the walls in big black writing against a bright red wall that had been hastily painted over with one coat of white paint. As i stood looking aghast at C18, Niggers Die!, Buddhas F*ck Off, Pakis Burn etc etc the girl could see I was a bit shocked and said 'Oh I've been meaning to paint over that again!'. I looked at her bemusedly and said 'Yeah, it probably needs another coat or two.'
Once again I considered making a dash for it but i had no idea where my mate lived and he had turned his phone off, probably out of spite because I had ditched him, and I didn't fancy walking the streets of Hackney or where ever I was at 3 in the morning, so i took the English stiff upper lip decision and decided to grin and bear it. I turned off the light and tried to block out the mess surrounding me, the orange glow of the street lights shone through the single bed sheet draped shodilly over the window and guided my way through the unholy mess camouflaging the carpet. I lay down on the bed with her on the bare mattress, quickly realising that the sheets had been sacrificed for window coverings.
Now you'd really think that that complete horrow show would have put me right off my stride but when faced with triffling moral dillemas such as that I like to revert to the 'When in Rome' theory and throw all caution to the wind, so I started to get down to the inevitable nitty gritty with her. A couple minutes in i noticed she was scratching her arms with increased ferocity. The sheetless mattress was pretty itchy on the skin but this was beyond a joke. I asked her if she was alright and it was then that she told me she had a serious ezcema problem and the horrific, colouring filled Barcadi Breezer drinks she had stupidly insisted I bought for the walk home had set her skin off in a nasty itchy reaction. Well that was the final straw! There's only so much a man take. Only so many hideous faults he can overlook before he decides enough is enough! Wiping your arse with a news rag I can take, living in a complete tip of a flat in a derelict part of London I can just about accept. Hey, I was even willing to ignore the Nazi-esque scribblings on her bedroom wall but i'm afraid i have to draw the line at a woman frantically scratching herself to bits during sex making all because she was f*cking dumb enough to drink 4 bottles of multi coloured piss water which she must have realised would set off her advanced leperocy.
With that I pulled on all my clothes and summoned up enough strength through the resentment to just about make a half hearted 'are you alright' noise and left the room telling her that i'd get her a drink of water. In the equally filthy kitchen I turned on the tap and let it run to try and disguise the noise of me desperately ringing my mate to try and get a reprieve from the horrible fate that had once again found me. No answer. After leaving a hushed but despairing distress call on my so-called friends voicemail I slowly resigned myself to the fact that i was hopelessly alone and was going to have to spend the night in this tramps hovel. There didn't seem to be any cups in the kitchen except a handleless mug and a Dolmio jar, with its label wet and faded. After checking with the increasingly irritating girl I was told that the sauce jar was hers and that they hadn't got around to buying any glasses yet. Considering that they hadn't got around to buying toilet roll, curtains, furniture or anything else of any discernible value i can't say that this came as much of a shock to me. I filled it from the browning taps and skulked back into her room before passing it to the doe-eyed vacuous bint looking up at me, who was desperately trying to act all feeble and lady like amongst the shitty mess that surrounded her. As she bleated a pathetic 'Aw thanks, Babe' i realised that i now hated her but would have to hide this best as possible if I was going to make it until morning. Thinking ahead, I told her i had to be up really early and turned the light off again, stumbled towards the bed and lay on it fully clothed with my back to her, my arms folded, fruitlessly trying to block out the sound of her scratching and the thought of her flakey dead skin all over the bed. Tired and feeling sleepy from that nights drinking I shut my eyes and prayed for sleep to take me.
When I awoke the sunlight was peering through the bed sheet. I looked at my phone, it was only half six in the morning but I knew this would be the best time to make my escape. Hopefully she wouldn't hear me and the streets would be relatively safe now that it was daylight. Whilst I hurriedly put on my trainers I noticed the girls red raw arms laying ontop of the duvet and the grim dusting of white skin flakes against the dark blue cover like eerie stars in the night sky. I looked down at the black sleeves on my jacket. They were covered in skin flakes too. Feeling repulsed, I crept out of the room. As soon as I reached the front door I started to pull off my jacket. Once outside and with the door quietly closed behind me, I gave it a damned good trashing against the wall in an attempt to remove all the sickening skin crust and ran for my life through the streets to try and flag down the next passing taxi to take me all the way back to Paddington.
As i sat on the train back to Reading feeling positively dirty and having severe difficulty eating my M&S Breakfast sandwich for thoughts of the leper skin i was no doubt encrusted with, I got a message on my phone, it read; Had a really fun time wit you last night. Sorry you had to leave early. Thanks for bein so cool bout my xma. Wanna meet again soon?
Needless to say I didn't reply and spent the rest of the journey looking out the train window at the fields whistling past wondering why these terrible things always happen to me.
In the preceeding days she sent me a few desperate messages on facebook, the last of which said, and I quote 'Is this not the dude who drank barcardi breezers with me in our secret garden...?'
By secret garden she means rundown, needle filled park next to her dodgy block of flats where we sat and drank the grim booze while I chained smoked and waited to get gang smashed. Perhaps I should have mentioned that bit in the story because we were nearly attacked by an overly tame fox and she nearly got me into a fight with a group of lads who asked for a cigarette. I've just looked at her photo again now and she wasn't nearly half as good looking as i remember. For shame! She said she was a promotions girl but the only thing I'd employ her to promote would be massive f*cking tubs of calamine lotion!
^ Post of the fucking year.
Probably one of the best stories told on DiS that I have ever read...
there's plenty more where that came from. I feel sexually vicitmised!
haha completely seconded!
that was amazing :)
i do feel for you mind'
but an excellent story none-the-less
In Hell!!!
She was alreet at the time-
but then time is a good reflection upon the mistakes that you make.
Especially those that involve drink, an inflated sense of self importance and the fact that you think you desrve better......when, really, you don't!
I don't know if I love you
or really hate youAntelope this'd this
I hear.
Though its not really a sexual faux pas
I have to say your story has made me ever more wary. Its like that episode of friends.
If this were GCSEs, you'd get an A*
Thanks for the entertainment.
I got an A*
in GCSE.
I'm still chuffed about that 10 years on.
best post ever.
The romantic down and out bohemian wants to know where she lived.
it was about a 5 minute walk from Brick Lane.
The flats were these really over bearing, redbrick, Victorian type. Like the tenement block from Hell.
It really was grim. As was she.
post more plz
best post ever
my similar dirty sty flat girl story pales in comparison
That was a great story man..
oh man "Sorry you had to leave early. Thanks for bein so cool bout my xma. Wanna meet again soon?"
this broke my heart hahahaha excellent story
i fell asleep one time
going down on a girl. When i woke up she had left, i never saw her again.
Was it you?
It was you, wasn't it?
but if she was like 'mega hott'
then thats a good thing that she does that....right? hot girl snot = :)
When asked, I told a girl once
That to stop myself from coming I'd try and pick a fantasy England XI, working from the strikers backwards.
She wasn't best pleased with my honesty.
On the comedy side of things, it was the late 90s, and you know who was in goal for England then.
oh jesus,
this thread has made me have a terrible flashback. I was drinking at a club and stayed after it had shut cause a few friends worked there. I was supposed to stay at my friends house but I had to meet my mum near the club the next day, so I asked a girl that lives nearby if she minded if I crashed at hers. I had no sexy intentions, as I just thought of her as a friend, and it was also just the sensible thing to do, to save myself having to get up really early the next day.
So, arrived at her house, completely drunk and lay down on the floor, trying to sleep. The next thing I know she starts asking me to come to bed, so I thought no, I can just lie here and pretend to be asleep. Then she started getting really irate, shouting at me, saying that if I didn't come to bed she would call me a taxi. I mean really angry, frothing at the mouth, ticking me off like a mother. Terrified, and feeling very stupid and naive, I crept into her bed and gave her a peck on the cheek. She then tried to put my hand down her pants and I resisted a bit, trying to work out if it was really worth shagging this girl I really, really didn't fancy or if I should just go and sleep on a bench.
Luckily she said that I didn't have to do anything if i didn't want to, cause she knew i'd just broken up with my girlfriend. I said that yeah, I was pretty broken up by that and jumped out of her bed, feeling really frightened and abused. She has never spoken to me since. I am glad, she really freaked me out.
not fit then?
not even when drunk?!
but she had pictures of her when she was er..slim, so I did make an effort to try and rationalize things. Really drunk attempts like, if i stare at the picture, then stare at her, and squint..didn't work out.
that's not really a sexual faux-pas
that's just a story about how you didn't want to sex a fat girl
I think this thread...
...has evolved into "Sexual Misadventures. Discuss"
it did. KEEP UP!
not a faux pas as such, just rudeness
finally remembered something to go on here!
a couple of years ago i once answered the phone whilst receiving some exceptionally bad oral sex. my mate on the phone was telling me that he'd just sat next to Johnny Borrell on the bus so he was pretty happy about that and we had a good 5 minute conversation.
needless to say i dumped the sexer the next day. good times!
ha h aha. you men are terrible.. however I have to admit this thread is amusing the hell out of me.
i'm a girl.
i'll let you off
just this once, mind..!
Ah man!
I was justing writing another longwinded story of ill-reput and accidentily pressed abandon reply instead of post.
Not happy!!
type in word first, and use autosave.
if you aren't a 90wpm plus typist like myself.
I look forward to your story!
Not sure i can
be arsed to write it again.
Click back/undo. If that doesnt work...
my jaw clicked and got kind of got stuck when I was down on a guy so yeah, that didn't really work out
well not COMPLETELY closed but it can't have been pleasant
i still love this thread
human vibrator? brilliant
lolz all dayz
story i once was told in the pub...
an old friend of mine once told me a story about horrific pet abuse.
one of his mates had managed to persuade his ladyfriend at the time to do anal, and one evening when her parents were out of the house (they were about 18 at the time i believe), they set down to business on the sofa. the white sofa.
unfortunately, mid-anal-coitus, she kind of...lost control, leaving a nasty and incriminating mark on said white sofa, which nothing could remove. not jif, not lemon juice or any other of kim & aggies fancy tricks. panicking, the only option to turn to was the beloved family dog...the pooch was subjected to very strict and cruel house training, which the parents believed was the only option as the early attempts had apparently failed.
as far as i know she never confessed.
ive heard that story loads of times
the variation is that the dog gets put down
its a common urban legend.
this story appears further up does it not?
It does. Tsk.
psh, must remember that pub stories are never reliable.
his other story involved a girl being caught rolling round in her accident, but i thought that was too far.
In light of Scutterbuckets latest revelations.
totally won this thread the first time as well.
Does a shit and a wank count?
never happened, never happened.
Or maybe the otherway round.
It's worse if you accidently shit while you wank.
I think i definitely won the internet today.
In fact, i'm sure of it. I've just read the rest of it from start to finish and it was all rubbish except for the bits i wrote.
i aM lEG eND!
Oh no.
You just tainted your brilliant post.
Hey Mr Potatohead!
How's tricks, ma man?
You're right. 100% so. Drunken internetting aint no good. If someone made a chart of it, i'd say most paedophilia searches on Google happen from 11 o'clock onwards. After 10.30pm on Sundays.
I better get some kip before i instigate myself in anything a bit too sexy.
That post was sexy enough.
Don't make me spill.
P.s. Was you the one who called me Mr.Potato Head before? If not...than I'd better get a hammer n chisel and change the shape of my spuddy dome.
Yeah that was me.
But you said something about my sunglasses or something first. Basically, you were begging for it.
You've changed your picture now though. Don't sweat it. Must have been a bad light on that last shot.
well, we've both had a little snipe.
Now we can persue a happy marriage together.
P.s. Your whole looke their is very reminiscent of David Thewlis in 'Naked''.
He had a gay moustache in that.
And he's the twat out of Harry Potter.
very good in 'Naked'' though.
Keep that in mind.
i massively agree with you scutterbucker
you made my day at work enjoyable :D
Accidentally blurting out
"oh grandad" at the climatic moment can be a real turn-off for those not into their mid-sex irony
On a similar vein a girl I'd been seeing wanted me to come back to her house at about 3am after leaving a club, we were walking back, both drunk, when she pulled me into a nearby park saying she couldn't wait until reaching her house. Not one to duck out of potential sex I followed her into the park, before getting down to Buziness in the middle of the grass
I was on top of her when I noticed a horrified look spread across her face as her gaze fixated over my shoulder - I turned around to see two thin African guys just stood there watching. They didn't even say anything, it was as if they were watching a wildlife programme.
Much awkwardness ensued, so I quipped 'do you fancy joining in?' which the girl I was with didn't see the funny side of, getting dressed and storming off, leaving me alone and naked with two dudes in a park.
This post....
everything about it....
i applaud you.
I just stood there beatking my chest like King Kong
until they went away.
No, really, I just left hurriedly, whilst the girl in question was extremely embarrassed - shame.
The African guys, who knows what happened to them, maybe they'll make a This Is Your Life style entrance back into my life sometime in the future..
this is the best one
you win
queefed when i laughed
which caused me to laugh even harder
bursting out laughing
falling off the bed too drunk everytime we changed over
my mate told me the other day that her first time with her ex they lost the condom up inside her and she had to go on all fours for him to try and get it LOL that would be so embarassing.
being caught by housemates
oh fuck! i forgot about this one, my first ever bf, my mum caught me tied to the bed.. haha that was really bad.
when i was but a wee naive bairn, i went out and got completely hammered with some friends from college and ended up meeting a lovely young lady who, as far as my drink-addled eyes could tell, was a beautiful wee thing and she made her intenions known that she wanted to fuck me. now, at this point i had only had a couple of very drunken sexual experiences so was always happy to oblige to servicing a lady. she suggested going back to mine, i refused (thankfully) as my parents are the jesus-loving type (as i was meant to be) and some skank in my bed would have gone down about as well as shitting on my mums top lip. i said we should go back to hers but her father was the protective type so that was a no go too. instead we wandered to some run-down spot in macclesfield town centre and i sat on a wall as she straddled me and we got to business. after the third person or so had walked by she decided this wasn't quite doing it for her and we had to stop. this, i believe, is when we bumped into a friend of mine. he said he had a spare room and we could go there. so off we trotted...
the only thing i remember about the rest of the evening is drinking some more beer and then her being particularly tight during our shenanigans (and me gentlemenly just carrying on being the drunken state i was).
i woke up in the morning staring at some bicycles attached to the ceiling. i was on a bare mattress naked on the floor of my friends garage witha stinking hangover. not a great start. i then looked over and found my best mates ex-girlfriend who he had a restraining order out against lying next to me. oh dear. i tried the silent sneak but she awoke and i had to piece together with her what had happened with as much hungover tact as i could. asking if we'd used protection she said we didn't need to...
it was only about a year ago (this all happened about 8 years ago) that i remembered this story and realised i had unintentionally fucked this poor psychotic girl in the arse.
and that's the story of how i got my brown wings. sorry.
i have another terrible one but i can't remember the details well enough to do it justice and it also brings shame upon me in a big way.
I love the number of regular users
clearly using other accounts to tell us this down and dirty shi'.
it's all funny shit to me so I'm not complaining. Whoever bumped this from Jan 08 I must say well done as it's probably the best thread this site has ever or will ever see.
^^ Jesus, thats like an X-rated Chucklevision episode
Barry tries to carry a passed out hooker through a narrow doorway lengthways
Everyone knows that girls love being woken up by drunk 3am phone calls, so one night about two years ago I stumbled off to the toilet, scrolled down to my girlfriends number, called, and waited for her to answer.
It was pretty loud in the club, but over the noise I heard a guy pick up my girlfriends phone. I was like WHAT THE FUCK, its 2am and she's with some guy??? Promptly I started throwing insults down the phone, demanding to speak to my girlfriend
After a scuffling sound I heard her tired voice answer the phone, asking what on earth i was doing ringing the house phone at that time of night. the fucking house phone. it was her dad. Suffice to say neither me or her dad never ever mentioned this in real life.
Not sexual, but whatever
I'm not sure how that counts as a faux pas
unless you've got really bad aim.
or waiting to get served in Tesco's or Boots.
or about to cross the finish line at the last London Marathon.
I cried
my legs cramped up and I had a bizarre mixture of satisfaction and pain so I laugh/cried like an insane person until I managed to calm down.
wow, this is the fucking best!
Some of these are too fuckin mingin tho, honest..
THIS THREAD... jesus
i'm in tears.
first one that comes to mind
I was up to no good with a lady on one particular occasion when, to cut a long story short, my roaming right hand discovered some form of initially unidentifiable foreign object lodged between her front and back bottoms. On closer inspection it had the appearance of a badly rolled and battered tramp's roll-up. It was actually worse - it was a piece of toilet roll that had rolled itself up in the wiping process and remained secreted somewhere between her lady flaps/butt cheeks/whatever... Not a good look, all told. The best of it was that she realised that I had had my attention averted from the job in hand, and, such was my horror, I told her of my findings. Moodkiller, anyone?! :-/


text: Let's be honest. When many of us get fed up with our health, and we really want to lose that extra weight, we look to a change in diet to help us get there. However, when many of us finally achieve the desired result, we stop eating differently and that weight comes right back on. It's time to stop thinking about food as allowed or not allowed in order for us to look and feel how we want to feel. Changing our diet is about more than just weight loss. Changing the way you think about food and paying attention to those health and lifestyle improvements that come with cleaning up your nutritional act can help you to adopt a sustainable way of eating, that allows you to enjoy your life and feel good. Read More


text:
Heartbleed: Change Your Passwords—Carefully
A new flaw in encryption tools used across the Web may have been exploited to leak your login names and passwords. Don't panic though. Before you change your password, just check if the site's security is up to date. WSJ Personal Technology Columnist Joanna Stern has tips for protecting yourself.
This transcript has been automatically generated and may not be 100% accurate.
... I ... I ... so I'm ... my ... all websites is ... that my ... IV data and even my passwords basically hasn't been working ... OS ... okay so partly true but there been calling this bout ... is being hatched by major sides to make things even going foe or ... once the website is cause it's a good idea to change ... your passwords ... all my houseplants ... this is no time to pack tended to anything is a sure thing ... she didn't it ... number one ... inventory of all the sites that may have sensitive information ... that means E-mail bank accounts credit card sites shopping sites like Amazon and social network accounts ... check the website accessible adds dot com slashed S F L test ... to see if they've been hacked ... if the old days here ... companies such as docu are also announcing when it ... happens once a big patch change that password ... TD pass with the most important sites worth anything leader of education for your money is at stake and set aside another day to deal with your other accounts that ... number to create new and strong passwords and don't use the same password whites seriously don't use that scene password again ... use a combination of letters symbols and numbers here's a good trick to ... read one password for your social media accounts ... and ... that password with different numbers are freezing ... keeping track of all those is the pains the enabling you to pass for center like one past one ... three per night two step verification ... the security features that many Web services offer ... this is the stock is confirmation of who you are in addition to your password when enabled app to take in your password you get a text message with the special code that you would imply ... unless someone steals your phone and your password you should be say ... you might have to go digging can set this up to clean up call that two step verification Facebook or ... blogging approval and often calls a ... second sighing and verification ... think of America calls the safe hands ... and my seeming going to have to get back only that but it isn't worth it ... okay I'm feeling much better now ... you know that I mean at least at my house burns ... can you should do the same ... promise you'll feel better ...


text:
Courtesy of Anthony Iannucci: The Hannya mask is one of the most highly recognizable images of the 14th century Japanese Noh Theater. The masks are used to convey the identity and mood of the nearly eighty characters in the different tales of the play. The hannya mask is specifically used to represent a vengeful and jealous woman. "a woman scorned." Her anger and envy have so consumed her that she has turned into a demon, but with some traces of her humanity left. The pointed horns, gleaming eyes, fang-like teeth, combined with a look of pure resentment and hate are tempered by the expression of suffering around the eyes and the artfully disarrayed strands of hair, which indicate passionate emotion thrown into disorder…
FX Artist Nix Herrera, tattoo artist Ant Iannucci of Ascension Tattoo, and Orlando's Twelve21 Gallery have combined their efforts to put together a Japanese themed art show to benefit the Red Cross relief for the 2011 Tōhoku Earthquake and Tsunami victims in Japan. The exhibition features 50 hand-painted Hannya Masks, by some of America's best tattoo artists, conventional artists, sculptural artists, and body painters.
The gallery exhibition will be held at Twelve21 Gallery located at 1221 N. Orange Ave, Orlando FL on Saturday, November 19 2011, with all pieces being sold via silent auction both at the premiere night and online. The Bidding will continue for 20 days after the opening. A larger percentage of the proceeds will be sent to the Red Cross for the Japanese relief effort. Make no mistake, they still need help. What better way to donate to a great cause than by winning an amazing, one of a kind, custom piece of art. If you cannot make it to the opening, please return to www.hannyamaskproject.com on November 19th and the weeks after to view these fantastic Masks and place your bid.
Artists are involved on an invitation only basis and have been hand picked from across the country for participation by the event organizers.
Each artist tag for each mask will have one of those fancy iphone scanner things for that particular mask so people at show can bit right on there phones! Then the bidding continues for 2 weeks after the 19th.
The starting Bid on each is 300$ and we hope for that to rise over the course of the 20 days. 60% goes to Red Cross, 40% to the artist.
[For more information visit: www.hannyamaskproject.com.]


text:
Sensation angler Trey Siner didn�t hesitate to give the blue marlin he had just brought in a kiss in front of family and friends and spectators.
MOREHEAD CITY � Sensation angler Trey Siner didn�t hesitate to give the blue marlin he had just brought in a kiss in front of family and friends and spectators.
In fact, when asked to do it again, Siner was quick to give the 423.8-pound big blue another smooch as he and the crew aboard the Morehead City-based Sensation continued their celebration Monday during the first day of the 55th annual Big Rock Blue Marlin Tournament.
�We are just all excited,� Siner said. �I want to sit back and really gander at this and enjoy it. It�s unbelievable. This is the first one I have ever brought in anywhere.�
After fighting the marlin for 90 minutes, Sensation boated the big blue at 4:16 p.m. and then arrived to the Morehead City scales at 6:13 p.m.
Then the announcement came that the Sensations� marlin weighed in at 423.8 pounds, putting the vessel atop the leaderboard after the first day of the most prestigious blue water fishing tournament along the East Coast.
Sensation was the only boat among 97 on the water to bring in a marlin on the first day.
�It�s Monday of the Big Rock tournament and I�m tickled to death that we caught a fish that qualified,� said Captain Dale Britt, who serves on the Big Rock Board of Directors. �It�s a beautiful fish and the angler had a great time � so that part of it is great.
�But it is very early in the week and so I know what happens in the Big Rock Blue Marlin Tournament.�
Sensation and the other 99 boats in this year�s tournament are allowed to fish up to four days through Saturday. All but two boats fished Monday. Sensation is in position to win $494,710 from the Big Rock purse of $1,154,625.
�Dale met us in the morning before we left the dock and he said �Hey, we got to have a plan and here�s our plan,�� Siner said. �We discussed it and we knew what everybody�s role was and what we were going to do and what we weren�t going to do. We executed it flawlessly and this is the result � 423.8 pounds.�
Siner said the Sensation was about three hours out into the Gulf Stream before finding the fish. Things didn�t look good until they finally saw one in the water.
�We hadn�t had a hit all day and � all of the sudden we saw one and (mate Alan Scibal) came out and made the fish hit and the next thing you know I�m in the chair and we are reeling it in,� Siner said. �I would say the wind was blowing about 15 knots or so, maybe more. The waves were probably eight to 12 feet. It wasn�t a calm day, but it wasn�t crazy, either.�
And how did Britt feel once Sensation boated the marlin?
�I was waiting for a cold beer, actually,� he said. �The angler was (tired) and I was dying of thirst.�
Still, Britt and his crew were worried the fish wouldn�t meet tournament minimums to qualify for a payday. Blue marlin have to weigh at least 400 pounds or measure at least 110 inches to be eligible for prize money.
�We measured it in the water and the measurement in the water did not compare to the measurement on the boat when we brought it on the boat,� Britt said. �So I was really concerned. The fish came up tail-wrapped and we fought it for a long time. Unfortunately the fish died and so we had plenty of time to measure it and look at the fish.
�We made the decisions that it looked like it would make weight. It didn�t make the length.�
But while Britt is happy with Monday�s catch, he would like a bigger fish to keep Sensation atop the leaderboard.
�We are going fishing today,� he said. �We are trying to catch a bigger one.�
Sensations� 423.8-pounder was the only marlin brought to the scales, but it wasn�t the only fish entered.
The Goin Deep, captained by Kenny Sexton of Manteo, leads in the dolphin category at 48.8 pounds. Sea Hag, captained by Allan Willis of Morehead City, is second at 45.2.
Water�s Edge, captained by Robert Hollingsworth of Mt. Pleasant, S.C. leads in the wahoo division at 56.8, followed by Let it Ride, captained by Tommy McConlouge of Monmouth Beach, N.J. at 44.1.
The Irish Ayes, captained by Brent Johnston of Wilmington, sits in first and second place in the tuna category at 59.5 and 50.9.
Compromise, captained by Larry Branham of John Island, S.C. had the first release of the day and leads in the overall release division with one blue marlin.


text:
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The Bucs (4-6, 2-2 A-Sun) picked up three points in the league's standings this past weekend, splitting both their A-Sun matches at Summers-Taylor Stadium. ETSU opened the weekend by falling to Lipscomb 1-0 in overtime Friday, but then bounced back with an impressive 1-0 win over league-leading
Leading the way for the Bucs was freshman Megan Masch (
Masch stopped 11 shots in 187:45 minutes of play, while posting a remarkable .909 goals against average in both weekend matches. The first-year starter currently sits fourth among conference keepers in saves per match and shutouts.
On the offensive side of the ball, Monty was the difference maker against the Bruins, firing home the game-winning goal in the first half. The explosive forward now leads the conference in shots per match, while leading the Bucs in goals, assists and points.
USC Upstate (3-8, 1-3 A-Sun) also split with Belmont and Lipscomb over the weekend. The Spartans lost to Bruins 1-0 Friday, before responding and picking up its first conference victory against Lipscomb 2-1, Sunday. Freshman forward Caitlin Robinson and junior midfielder Santana DeFreitas lead Upstate with five points, while junior goalkeeper Brittany Draughty leads the conference with 78 saves.
Live stats will be available at the start of kickoff by visiting www.ETSUBUCS.com or www.upstatespartans.com.


text: Thank you very much to all of our sponsors, without whom we could not possibly put on this community event. Harrow Fireworks festival can only continue with the support of them. Please support our sponsors as they have supported us in your community whenever possible. We thank you for your support.


text:
Brand Label: Fabiana Filippi
ITEM MOVED TO ARCHIVE: On February 3, 2018 6:26 pm, Fashion Stylist Online noted this item may be out of stock at Farfetch US because it was not referenced in their latest online catalog. If this item is out of stock at Farfetch US, you may be able to find similar fashions sold there or elsewhere on our Fabiana Filippi Designer Brand Directory.
Available for Purchase Online at Farfetch US for $297.00Pin It
Grey cashmere, silk and merino metallic panelled sweater from Fabiana Filippi.
Shop other brand label items from Fabiana Filippi on FashionStylist.com.
This item was published for sale online by Farfetch US on January 30, 2018 9:28 am and last updated by us February 3, 2018 6:26 pm.
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New promo codes and links offering limited time promotions, sales coupons, and special offers on Fabiana Filippi designer fashions and accessories will be posted on each designer label apparel page. For the latest up to date information on this Fabiana Filippi Metallic Panelled Sweater Grey | Clothing fashion item, including product specifications, ordering options, pricing, shipping details, high resolution pictures, shopper comments, and other sales media, visit the Farfetch US Online Store.


text:
Behavioral Therapy Development for Methamphetamine Abusers
|The safety and scientific validity of this study is the responsibility of the study sponsor and investigators. Listing a study does not mean it has been evaluated by the U.S. Federal Government. Read our disclaimer for details.
|ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier: NCT00249678
Recruitment Status : Suspended
First Posted : November 7, 2005
Last Update Posted : February 15, 2018
- Study Details
- Tabular View
- No Results Posted
- Disclaimer
- How to Read a Study Record
|Condition or disease
|The Study Was Designed to Develop a Cognitive Behavioral Approach to Treating Methamphetamine Abuse in HIV Primary Care Settings
|Behavioral: Behavior Therapy
|Phase 2
|Study Type :
|Interventional (Clinical Trial)
|Enrollment :
|50 participants
|Primary Purpose:
|Official Title:
|Behavioral Therapy Development for Methamphetamine Abuse
|Study Start Date :
|September 2004
|Study Completion Date :
|May 2007
- Craving
- Medication compliance
- Addiction severity
- Psychiatric interview
- Sex-risk behavior
- Depression
- Quality of Life
Choosing to participate in a study is an important personal decision. Talk with your doctor and family members or friends about deciding to join a study. To learn more about this study, you or your doctor may contact the study research staff using the contacts provided below. For general information, Learn About Clinical Studies.
|Ages Eligible for Study:
|18 Years to 65 Years (Adult, Older Adult)
|Sexes Eligible for Study:
|Accepts Healthy Volunteers:
Inclusion Criteria:
- HIV-seropositive, GBM receiving medical treatment for HIV for at least 30 days prior to signing informed consent at the UCLA CARE clinic, aged 18-65
- Willing to give informed consent and comply with study procedures;
- Willing to provide consent to contact treating physicians and pharmacies to assess adherence to HIV medications;
- Diagnosed with current methamphetamine abuse as determined by MINI; and
- Interested in seeking treatment for their methamphetamine abuse and in participating in this research project.
Exclusion Criteria:
- Unwilling to give, or withdrawal of, informed consent;
- Inability to understand nature of study;
- A psychiatric condition that, in the principal investigator's judgment, warrants additional intervention to ensure participant safety (e.g., meets DSM-IV-TR criteria for current bipolar disorder or a psychotic disorder);
- Current suicidal ideation or suicide attempt within the past 3 months; and
- Concurrent dependence on opiates, alcohol, or benzodiazepines as determined by MINI.
- Total lack of any type of healthcare coverage. These potential participants will be given low-fee treatment referrals.
To learn more about this study, you or your doctor may contact the study research staff using the contact information provided by the sponsor.
Please refer to this study by its ClinicalTrials.gov identifier (NCT number): NCT00249678
|United States, California
|UCLA Medical Center
|Los Angeles, California, United States, 90024
|UCLA, Integrated Substance Abuse Programs
|Los Angeles, California, United States, 90024
|UCLA CARE Clinic
|Los Angeles, California, United States, 90035
|Principal Investigator:
|James Peck, Other
|University of California, Los Angeles
|Responsible Party:
|Steve Shoptaw, Professor, University of California, Los Angeles
|ClinicalTrials.gov Identifier:
|NCT00249678 History of Changes
|Other Study ID Numbers:
R21DA018075 ( U.S. NIH Grant/Contract )
|First Posted:
|November 7, 2005 Key Record Dates
|Last Update Posted:
|February 15, 2018
|Last Verified:
|February 2018
Keywords provided by Steve Shoptaw, University of California, Los Angeles:
Behavior Therapy
Additional relevant MeSH terms:
Central Nervous System Stimulants
Physiological Effects of Drugs
Autonomic Agents
Peripheral Nervous System Agents
Dopamine Agents
Neurotransmitter Agents
Molecular Mechanisms of Pharmacological Action
Adrenergic Agents
Adrenergic Uptake Inhibitors
Neurotransmitter Uptake Inhibitors
Membrane Transport Modulators
Dopamine Uptake Inhibitors


text:
Pierre-Louis Mascia
stripe panel scarf
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Purple silk stripe panel scarf from Pierre-Louis Mascia featuring a panelled colour block design, a striped print and a long length.
Designer colour: 42193/102-18 65X190
Made in Italy
Designer Style ID: ALOEST
Farfetch ID: 12616763
- Composition
- Silk 100%
- Composition
- Cotton 100%
- Washing Instructions:
- Dry Clean Only
- Manufacturer
- Pierre-Louis Mascia
One shipping fee, on multiple pieces, from multiple locations.
No matter how many items you purchase, or where in the world you order from, you will only pay one fee.
Click here to find out more about our shipping options, including Click & Collect and Same Day Delivery.
Free returns pick-up
We offer free global returns.
You have 14 days from receiving your order to return the item. We strongly recommend that you book your free returns pick-up within 7 days of receiving your order to ensure that it arrives back in time.
Click here to read our full returns policy.
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Delivery duties are included in the item price when shipping to all EU countries plus USA, Canada, China, Australia, Puerto Rico, Switzerland, Singapore, Republic Of Korea, Kuwait, Mexico, Qatar, India, Norway, Saudi Arabia, Taiwan, Thailand, U.A.E., Japan. This means all import duties are included in your order. The price you see is the price you pay.
Delivery duties are not included in the item price when shipping to all other countries. This means you may be liable to pay import duties on receipt of your order.
Mascia is a talented and world renowned fashion illustrator but a few years ago, the French artist launched his own accessory brand. Pierre-Louis Mascia started his line with a bag inspired by composer Maurice Ravel. He focused only on this bag, producing different versions of the same model which became rather successful. Then, he felt inspired to add scarves to his collection, and he began working on different motifs, mixing cashmere, traditional patterns and paintings, with floral motifs and prints evokoing an expressionistic style with intense and unusual colour combinations and bold strokes matching his aesthetics of refinement, luxury and distinction.


text:
Welcome to the online portal of the Mountain of Fire & Miracles International, the UK arm of the Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries Worldwide. We are a groundbreaking non-denominational fellowship committed to raising up an army of prayer warriors fully geared up to totally expose the activities of darkness preparatory to the coming of the end-time revival... We are deeply committed to absolute holiness as the greatest spiritual germicide and as a pre-condition for heaven.
On behalf of our General Overseer, Dr. Daniel Kolawole Olukoya, the AGO and the MFM family UK uses this opportunity to invite you to join us on our next service day
+44 (0) 208 804 5577
Management Committee: mcukcontact[@]mountainoffire.org.uk


text:
State Solid Waste Plans and Ground Water Contamination: Joint Hearing Before the Subcommittee on Commerce, Transportation, and Tourism of the Committee on Energy and Commerce and the Subcommittee on Water Resources of the Committee on Public Works and Transportation, U.S. House of Representatives, Ninety-seventh Congress, Second Session, April 16, 1982
United States. Congress. House. Committee on Energy and Commerce. Subcommittee on Commerce, Transportation, and Tourism
U.S. Government Printing Office, 1982 - Pollution control industry - 217 pages
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20 sites approved aquifer committee Congressman County District Solid county planning County's COURTER criteria Denville Department of Environmental deposit District Solid Waste Environmental Protection ERICKSON Federal feet deep FLORIO Freeholders FRELINGHUYSEN garbage gentleman GEPPERT going ground water guidelines hearings impact iron Jersey City Jim Florio Lake Lake Hopatcong landfill sites leachate liner located Mayor mines Morris County Mount Olive municipal northeast operation Passaic PENNA PEREIRA pits pollution potential problems recycling regional REGNA resource recovery facility rock Rockaway Borough Rockaway River Rockaway Township Roxbury Township sanitary landfill shaft shown on Plate sole source aquifer Solid Waste Advisory solid waste disposal Solid Waste Management solid waste planning statement stopes subtitle SWAC talking Teabo testimony Thank things tion tons Waste Advisory Council Waste Management Plan water contamination water resources water supply West Caldwell


text:
I always loved this day, when pitchers and catchers report. Actually, the first day of spring training has become blurred with players reporting earlier each spring. It seems the week after the Super Bowl is when players begin to trickle in. David Wright has been working out in PSL for over a week now.
This is the day when enthusiasm and optimism run high for the summer ahead. This spring that has been tempered for the Mets with the Wilpon's financial crisis and the passing of Gary Carter. Incidentally, of all the tributes to Carter, the one by the Montreal Canadiens was my favorite. Their players wearing No. 8 and Carter's image on the ice were truly memorable.
I digress for a moment, but it reminds me how much I miss Montreal as a stop on the tour. I always used to like visiting that city. Historical town, great places to eat and the obvious European flavor.
I always thought Montreal got a raw deal from MLB. Yes, attendance was dwindling, but how could that have been avoided with MLB threatening to leave for years until the city built a new stadium. Just shabby.
The Mets, you'll recall ponied up most of the money for Citi Field, and despite getting $20 million a year in naming rights, the new stadium hasn't provided either the payday or the home field advantage the team sought.
Attendance was just over 2 million last season, and that is the first of my top issues facing the Mets as their 50th year in existence begins:
Q1. Will the Mets draw over 2 million?
A. The debate isn't whether the Mets have enough to contend with the Phillies and Braves, but if they have the talent to keep pace with the Nationals and Marlins? They don't on paper or the field and are projected to finish fifth in the NL East. With a brutal April schedule, they could be trailing by double digits before the weather warms. If the Mets aren't competitive, there's no reason to head out to Citi Field and the attendance will drop, and with it will come a further drain on their finances. Never mind winning, but the Mets need a competitive, exciting team for the turnstiles to keep clicking.
Q2. Will the Mets win their court case?
A. Seventeen days prior to Opening Day we should get an idea how much the Mets could be on the hook for because of the Ponzi scandal. Win or lose, there will be an appeal, but should they win there's a sliver of hope the Mets might be able to add talent at the trade deadline if they are competitive.
Q3. Will David Wright be traded?
A. I don't believe GM Sandy Alderson for a second when he says how good the team the Mets are will have no bearing on whether Wright is dealt. If they are playing beyond expectations and people are coming out, the Mets can't afford to trade Wright and expect fans to keep showing up. If they are stinking, who can't envision Wright not being traded?
Q4. What's to become of Johan Santana?
A. He's throwing in PSL, but there's still no timetable for his return. If he comes back or not, he'll still cost the Mets close to $25 million. It's a pipe dream to hope for Santana being able to pitch and be healthy enough for the Mets to trade him. The odds don't favor a complete recovery from his type of shoulder surgery. It's a long shot, but the Mets are hoping he's good enough physically to give them enough starts to create interest.
Q5. Will they get anything out of Jason Bay?
A. With the fences moved in 15 feet, perhaps Bay can't help but hit for some more power. Bay has done nothing to warrant his contract and outside the fences, there's no reason to believe anything has changed this season.
On the first day of spring training, you'd like to see the team's primary questions divorced from the Mets' financial problems, but that's being naive. What happens on the field is directly linked to the Wilpon's bank accounts. That's just the way it is.
I'll be back later with more baseball specific questions surrounding the team.


text:
Moderators and The 'Souls Assemblage
The staff at 'Souls consists of Moderators and the 'Souls Assemblage, our team of administrators.
If you need any kind of assistance with 'Souls, or have questions regarding the game, please let a Moderator or Administrator know! We'll do our best to help you out. :)
Chat: Green usernames
Our Moderators, denoted by a gold key, have moderation power over all forums. They are also capable of editing the RP Guide and Yearbook. Moderators are responsible for assisting administrators in a variety of tasks related to board management. A Moderator's duties include, but are not limited to, new member assistance, aiding in joiner evaluations, addressing requests for auxiliary characters and puppy litters, project collaboration, information and resource compilation and production, Wiki maintenance and updates, general board maintenance, 'Souls promotion and advertising, and contributing opinions where requested.
Feel free to ask our Moderators for help!
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Our administrators, the 'Souls Assemblage, are, in short, responsible for keeping the board running smoothly. The SA, denoted by a special white key, inherits all moderator duties, oversees the Moderators and Maintenance Aides, and regularly evaluates their activity. They have the final say on all joining applications and all requests and suggestions related to the board, members, etc. They also manage monthly board-wide activity checks, initiate or oversee board-wide IC and OOC contests, and mediate disputes between members.
New board skins, board security, board modifications and upgrades, and various other technical aspects of the game are also the responsibility of the SA, including securing regular funding for domain registration and hosting, troubleshooting bugs, and minimizing downtime. The SA maintains all 'Souls-related off-board accounts on websites like deviantART, Livejournal, Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr.
Please note: sometimes, we are absent too. If you want to contact one of us, or wonder if you do not get a reply quickly, please check the Admin absence thread. If we're listed there, we may be slower or unavailable!
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Current Team
'Sup. I'm a Kiri. I'm a hermit admin who lurks in the background, making sure the technical aspects of the board (mostly, kind of) work, coding things, making skins, paying bills, and infesting the place with various topics of interest. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I do what I want.
Hi thar! I'm Libri, resident viking and proud collector of wives! I'm not super-awesome with coding and all that jazz like some of my bronies here, but I do a fair bit of general maintenance work around here, and do my best to participate in discussions and administrative duties behind the scene! Aside from the fact that I'm a crazy axemaniac, I'm quite the friendly person, so don't ever hesitate to approach me if you want to chat or anything along those lines!
What up, I'm Mel~ I'm one of the old crusty folks who has been around here forever. My specialties include research, fact-checking, and extremely long-term plots. I'm half of the Salsola leadership, though you likely may have run into one of my nine-thousand characters throughout the board before. :)))
Hi, I'm Sunny! :) I love the forum and helping out! I like computers, coding and trying to automate aspects of the board, as well as assisting members who have any questions about 'Souls. I also really like snails. If you have a question, or would just like to talk, feel free to send me a PM - I'd love it! <3
Hi hi, I'm Raze! While I haven't accumulated much crust as the other 'SA, I make up for it by spending almost all my free time stalking the forums. ;O I'm probably best known for previously leading Inferni -- and playing lots of characters, many of whom have been around 'Souls for years! I also like to think I'm friendly and approachable, so never hesitate to PM or IM me if you have a question or concern -- or want to hear about my cute dogs. >:D


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The Greatest Wide Receiver to Ever Wear the Star
"I always believed, you should reach for the moon, and just maybe you will end up simply grabbing the stars."
-Michael Irvin
We would like to honor Michael Irvin today as he is being enshrined into Pro Football's highest and most dignified honor. Michael "The Playmaker" Irvin will become the 10th Cowboy in the Pro Football Hall of Fame this evening. Jerry Jones will be presenting the honor to Michael, a job he accepted with great pride. Throughout the years, Jones has stood by Irvin through thick and thin and he wouldn't miss this for the world.
"There was not one time I ever thought about playing for any man other than Jerry Jones or any other organization other than the Dallas Cowboys," Irvin told the media at his retirement press conference in 2000.
Irvin finished his career with 750 receptions, 11,904 yards and 65 touchdowns. He was selected to five Pro Bowls, and was inducted into the Dallas Cowboys Ring of Honor on September 19, 2005. Today he will honored for all of those accomplishments and always be known as one of the greatest receivers to play the game.
"Michael Irvin was the most competitive individual I have every played with. He was the heart and soul of our team. From a physical standpoint, there is no one who could match his talent and skill. His work ethic, charisma and drive were what carried us to our three Super Bowl titles." – Emmitt Smith
Thanks for the memories Michael! Congratulations!!!