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Friday, September 30, 2005
Saving Private Kitty Lighter
On August 26th 2005 a lighter given to me as a gift was confiscated by authorities at the Portland International Airport. Unlike your typical throw-away Bic, this lighter was special. It was nearly one of a kind. It was covered in photos of adorable kittens.
The lighter wound up in a locker at a storage office near baggage claim. When I returned to town on Labor Day it was closed. I vowed to return but couldn't decide if it was worth the trek back. I left it up to "Welcome to Blog"'s readers to make the decision and they overwhelmingly voted "yes."
I didn't make it back to the airport until the 27th, over 24 hours after my receipt clearly stated the office would fling the lighter in the trash. Was it still there?
Did they toss it?
Is the kitten lighter now sitting in a landfill somewhere?
Have the gods of ridiculous Parisian souvenirs been forsaken?
The answer to most of these questions is...
I wanted to Photoshop the lighter into a field with cartoon animals frolicking around it but laziness prevailed. Here instead is a boring close-up of it sitting on a bookshelf.
Yup, this is what all the fuss was over.
So I drove all the way out to PDX on Tuesday morning, fought with the airport's annoying new parking computers and, worst of all, the lady behind the counter at the storage office made fun of me.
"Is this your kitty wid-der," she said in a tone usually reserved for drooling toddlers.
All I could do is blush in response, meekly take the lighter and slunk over to Panda Express. If there is ever a moment that would cause someone to rethink their life and engage in some serious soul-searching, this is probably it. To all sixteen of you that voted "yes" in the poll, I'd like thank you for this existential crisis.
The return of the 24 Hour Chruch of Elvis
Well, sort of.
Someone has ressurected the late-great church's website. It can be found here.
I visted the the place once in the mid '90s and propritess offered to wed a sibling and I for $5. We declined. Instead she married two punk kids and made them ride around the streets of downtown Portland on a bicycle covered in Barbie doll heads. Or something like that. The memory's kinda fuzzy.
If you've never heard of this beloved piece of Portland lore, Wikipedia offers a pretty good rundown. Nowadays, "Elvis" still plays Saturday Market and Voodoo Doughnut but I have no idea what happened to the lady that ran the place. According to rumor, she fled Portland after flinging a computer out one of the church's second-story windows.
Still, I wonder if she has anything to do with the "existential museum" over on NW 21st. It has a vending machine much like the ones that sat outside the Church of Elvis.
And now it's time for a BAVARIAN BLOWOUT!
A batch of Oktoberfest photos and videos has overtaken Welcome to Blog at this late hour. A few Sundays back I caught the tail-end of the Mount Angel Oktoberfest and took somewhere between a bungload and a %$@load of photos of random German weirdness. 30 made the final cut.
For a weekend every September, beer halls, strudel slingers, "Sound of Music"-style family bands and full-grown adults in lederhosen invade roughly ten square blocks of downtown Mt. Angel. The annual festival is one of the largest of its kind in the US and it's a big enough deal to draw authentic Germans. Or at least three of them. They're in a band that flies in every year to play in one of the biergartens.
The family and I have made the festival an on-and-off tradition since the mid-90s. All us range between 25% and 50% German and this is the closest we get to celebrating our Deutschland roots (short of the occassional trip to the Rheinlander). While I didn't get stinking drunk and spend the day staggering around in a pair of wooden shoes like in 2001, I did manage to get into two seperate arguments with a vendor selling Russian dolls.
Sometime later Shanna landed in the middle a beer stein holding contest. The steins weighed over 10 pounds a piece and each contestant had to hold it in an outstretched arm. It's harder than it sounds. She gave it her best shot but lost to a buff blonde chick that looked like she'd just stepped off the set of an inspirational Nike commercial. The blonde won a free fondue platter. Shanna returned the table and nursed her wounded ego with a pint of lager.
Photos of all this and more can be found here. Please also enjoy these Quicktime videos:
Are you in the mood to watch a crowd of drunk farmers, senior citizens and Portland yuppies sway back and forth to German folk music? If so, you're in luck. Click on the pic.
Lastly, here's ME Russell's cartoon take on the annual fest.
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
The return of the Valley Theatre
Beaverton's first "brew cinema" is in the works. Recently spotted on a marquee near SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway:
Hooray! Finally suburbanites will have a place to drink and watch second-run movies that isn't their family rooms and/or their DVD-equipped mini-vans.
To read about the previous incarnation of the Valley click here.
The Pumpkin
"Dr. Giggles," "The Hunted," "Body of Evidence" - Portland isn't known for its cinematic classics. The City of Roses has played host to more than its fair share of celluloid travesties. Here's another one to add to the stack.
While still stuck in high school a few friends and I filmed a full-length movie in and around the West Hills. It was mostly improvised, doesn't make much sense and had a budget of roughly $20.
"The Pumpkin" was originally concieved as a parody of "The Crow" and countless other cheesy revenge flicks. It's filled with offensive stereotypes, fake blood, terrible camcorder special effects and was probably the sort of thing that would have gotten us kicked out of school post-Columbine. The soundrack is pretty great though and it's at least as amusing as that "Raiders of the Lost Ark" tribute Multnomah Public Access still rolls out late at night when there's nothing else to air.
And now just in time for Halloween, and to help insure that all involved will never be able to run for public office, this would-be camcorder classic is finding its way onto the internet.
Starting last week Phooeyhoo began posting the film in installments on his blog. I think his plan is to roll out a new one every week through October. To my knowledge, no more than six people have managed to watch the entire thing.
All these years later I'm still shocked that we were able to con Jon into running around the (pre-condo) Pearl District in a Rambo/Punisher costume. It's a damn shame none of us ever coughed up the $50 dollars necessary to send a copy to the submission office at USC's film school. The inevitable rejection letter would have made a great memento.
Tuesday, September 27, 2005
Bye, Doc
On Sunday night a group of us got together at the Matador to see off Dr. R., AKA "Echopraxia." He set sail for an undisclosed country full of koala bears and Paul Hogan* on Monday.
Tears were shed, awkward cheers were dealt (courtesy of yours truly) and shots of Wild Turkey were downed. Goodbye, you magnificent bastard.
Echopraxia, if you're on the other side of the world reading this, really, what's the deal with the water ? Does it go down the drain counterclockwise or what? Inquiring minds in the Northern Hampshire want to know.
* Take a look at that photo again. Yeah, that's what Paul Hogan looks like without the trademark hat or "that ain't a knife, this is a knife" knife. And now you know.
The kitten lighter hits it big
A delayed thanks goes out to the mind behind the Blogometer. Last week's post and poll concerning the kitten lighter made the "Lest We Forget" section of its Thursday edition, hopefully earning a quick glance from at least one of the various media bigshots, national bloggers and influential lawmakers that make up its readership.
If Wonkette followed the link, well, that would be downright swell.
As for the lighter, I headed out to the airport today to fetch it, a full 24 hours *after* a clearly stated 30 day maximum length of storage. Was it still out there? Are you on the edge of your seat, eyes wide, eager to hear the fate of that disposable lighter?
If so, check back on Friday. All will be revealed then.
Portland Communique RIP
This blog couldn't be any more different from the Portland Communique, the once and hopefully future king of all Stumptown blogs. Author Christopher "One True b!X" Frankonis officially pulled the plug over the weekend.
He was a pioneer in community journalism, a trailblazer in the field of professional blogging or whatever you want to call it. Even I, the author of a goofball blog that rarely delves into local politics, knew what b!X was doing was special and important. He set the bar for those who may follow.
And if he's out there reading this, for what it's worth, I've been rejected from Powell's roughly a dozen times over the years. Some sort of secret password or special handshake must be required to get hired at any location, even the one in Beaverton.
Nip and tuck
I moved a few things around in the sidebar. The photo links now have orange borders and the Google search box has been kicked off its former perch at the top. If any of you graphic designer-types think this was a bad move, or if I've violated some sort of feng shui internet rule, drop me a line in the comment area below.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Tokyo arcade craziness
It's been over three months since the last installment of Welcome to Blog's ongoing Tokyo photo series. I'll probably still be posting shots from the trip as Jeb Bush rolls into his third term.
If you didn't think you'd be spending part of your Friday looking at arm wrestling video games, panda robots and screaming Pokemon machines, well, there's still a chance to make that presumption a reality.
Just don't CLICK ON THIS LINK.
Or, if you're the mood for all that, go for it.
A whole new gaming sensation
Have you seen the controller for Nintendo's next generation console? The system is tentatively titled the Nintendo Revolution. The controller, which is comes in two pieces, does a fairly good job of living up to the title.
Check out this demo ad and, if you're a geek and you haven't already seen it, get ready to pick your jaw up off the carpet. The controller has a motion detector allowing it to serve as everything from a ping pong paddle to a samurai sword.
I can't see myself ever bouncing around my living room while fighting on-screen ninjas. Since when have exercise and video games gone hand in hand (Dance Dance Revolution doesn't count)?
Innovation or insanity? Both? Have a look and decide for yourself.
Bill Maher's advice to GW
From Maher's closing monologue on a recent installment of HBO's "Real Time."
Herbert Hoover was a shitty president but even he never conceded an entire metropolis to rising water and snakes. On your watch we've lost almost all of our allies, the surplus, four airliners, two trade centers, part of the Pentagon and the city of New Orleans. Maybe you're just not lucky. I'm not saying that you don't love this country but I'm just wondering how much worse it would be if you were on the other side. Yes, God does speak to you and what he's saying to you is "take a hint."
Well, I thought it was poignant.
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
A semi-tragic anecdote involving kittens, fire and airport security
If a title like that doesn't get you readin', nothing will.
A few weeks ago I was stopped while passing through airport security at PDX. An item in my carry-on immediately brought a long line of irritated passengers to a halt. The cause for alarm?
A cigarette lighter covered in photos of kittens.
A friend brought this bizarre knickknack back from France after discovering it for sale at a gas station outside Reims. I'd left it in my bag after a previous trip and forgotten all about it until airport security intervened. After scanning me with a metal-sniffing wand and examining every last inch of my carry-on for bomb making materials, they let me go under one condition: the lighter had to be confiscated.
Parisian kitty lighters are pretty rare in this part of the world so I wasn't going to let it go without at least a twenty second argument. Over the past few months the lighter has proved to be a great conversation piece, mainly because one of the felines looks terrified, implying that it's meant to light more than just cigarettes on fire.
Yeah, I know. Animal cruelty is never, ever funny but, in this context, isn't it at least mildly amusing?
After one guard misunderstood my rambling explanation, she concocted a story about how the lighter was a sentimental gift from my "fiancee." Satisfied, her colleagues allowed me to keep it under the condition that I would leave it in Portland.
I decided to pay $5 to drop it off at a storage shop near baggage claim. When I got back into town on Labor Day the place was closed.
The lighter is still out there so I have a decision to make. Is a disposable lighter, no matter how odd and one of a kind, really worth a drive back to the airport?
I'm looking for advice so it's time for another ridiculous poll. Feel free to do my thinking for me. What would you do?
Give a Hoot(ers)
Back in May I wrote a review of the Beaverton Hooters. Sometime later, a Hooters girl complained about it. Now a second employee named Liza has written in to set the record straight on everybody's favorite family-friendly T&A franchise:
Along with Adirenne i too am a hooter girl, but not at beaverton. Most people like coming to hooters instead of strip clubs because we're friendly, self respecting, and really work to make it a different, fun enviroment from, lets say, the Olive Garden.
Here's my response, written in Dr. Suess verse, because, well, you know:
I will not go back there in a motorboat
I will not go back there with a coyote
I will never again eat its chicken wings
That taste just like wooden siding
Yep, the atmosphere is bland at the Olive Garden
But their food is good so they get a pardon
I'll never order another beer from Hooters' two beer beer menu
Or gaze upon those t-shirts that aren't even see-thru
I'll never go back with a dollar in my hand
A dollar that belongs in a legitimate stripper's g-string band
I hate the Beaverton Hooters....
...Ok, I couldn't come up with a final line. If you have any suggestions feel free to toss them in the feedback area below.
While I'm on the subject, here, compliments of Phil Stanford, is an update on the Hooters destined to replace the historic Waddle's coffeeshop in Jantzen Beach.
Construction on the new I-5 Hooters - at the foot of the bridge where Waddles used to be - is bouncing along just fine, thank you very much. Mark Bruun of Lorentz Bruun Construction says the restaurant with the winking hootie owl for a logo should be up and running in about four months.
I say there's still time to bring back the duck with the bib.
Monday, September 19, 2005
Corpse brides and roadside rabbits in high definition
The inaugural "high def" issue of the Oregonian hit stands on Sunday with two fairly great stories its new "O!" section.
The first covers Laika Entertainment, once Will Vinton Studios before Phil Knight dug his tentacles into it. As sad as the animator's boot was from his namesake, Knight's crew is really doing wonders with the place. They've got two features in development and have brought the co-directors of "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "The Corpse Bride" into their fold. AND they let the employees bring their dogs to work (the studio is named after the first pooch in space).
The new studio also shares little in common with its predecessor and, as the article points out, little of Vinton's spirit remains. Laika's productions, while incorporating stop motion with CGI, don't seem to have much to do with Claymation. The studio(s) probably needed a lot of fixing up, new equipment, new animators, new staff, etc. So why did Knight stage a takeover when he could have just started a new studio from scratch? How much of the original staff remained? Did he really save that much cash by evicting Vinton? Maybe the shoe giant just liked the location.
Meanwhile Margie Boule laments the loss of local advertising landmarks like Zim's rooftop globe. There's still a few of them out there, like "Harvey," the giant rabbit statue that stands guard over a nautical shop in Aloha. And why aren't new "eyesores" replacing the old ones? Among the reasons given are uptight corporations and stodgy planning bureaus.
As for the recent remodel of the Oregonian, survey says....
....LAME! And where's the desperately needed overhaul of Oregon Live, people?
Friday, September 16, 2005
Some late night ranting about gentrification accompanied by photos of toys
Last week the Oregonian ran a story on Oregon City's attempts to draw "the young and talented," who they hope will help jumpstart their fledgling economy. This got me to thinking about what Portland's stock of creative whipper-snappers have done within its borders over the past few decades.
The rejuvenation (or gentrification if you prefer) of neighborhoods like Alberta, Hawthorne, Belmont, Nob Hill, etc. can be credited at least partially to the city's post-grad artists, entrepreneurs, hipsters, etc. There seems to be a pretty obvious pattern of progression at work in each case.
20-somethings in search of cheap rent are drawn to an area down on its luck. After a few years of watching their bikes get stolen, hip restaurants, clubs and coffee shops follow their lead. What was once twenty blocks of urban blight is suddenly a burgeoning cultural center, drawing money and attention in the process. Eventually, yuppies, investors and developers get wind of the whole thing and swallow up all the real estate they sink their meat hooks into. Any lingering long-term residents, who haven't already been scared away increasing property taxes hit the road. All the hip coffee shops and have their rents jacked up and are replaced by art, leather furniture galleries and Whole Food franchises. Meanwhile, in another neighborhood a new generation of post-grads is hard at work on repeating the process.
All right, enough of that. The original intent here was to simply run some photos of a strange thrift store I ran into during my last visit to Oregon City.
It's probably safe to assume that this place is owned and operated by the city's planning bureau as part of an effort to attract nostalgia-lovin' creative types that just so happen to fall into the 25-34 demographic. Shrewd move. The place seemed to have everything. Vintage Star Wars toys. Gremlin lunch-boxes. Star Trek III Taco Bell glasses. TMNT action figures. ROB robots. Long-lost '80s boardgames like "Mr. Game Show" and that weird Pac-Man board game where players use a plastic version of the title character to gobble up white marbles. There were enough knicknacks in there to fill hundreds of hipster apartments with conversation pieces.
In short, the place was a mecca. It's enough to make me wish I was talented or at least upwardly mobile enough to warrent a move to the eastside.
As the dreams of Oregon City's city council come true, I look forward to reading future stories about its historic storefronts being torn down to make way for condominiums.
Anyway, you can blame Sho for this post. He passed along the article.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Over the years I've been harassed by the police. I've had my property confiscated by the police and I've been tear gassed (twice) by the police. I was once dragged out of Wilson High School by two policemen moments before I was going to head on stage in a police uniform during a dress rehersal. I've watched friends go to jail over misunderstandings and for the smallest of infractions. Petty traffic offenses and parking tickets have cost me over $850 in the last year alone. It should be pretty obvious that I feel more scorn than admiration every every time a squad car passes me by.
I respect police officers for their willingness to work in what must be the most stressful career field out there, Regardless, over the years they've become glorified revenue collectors for their municipalities. Can I back that statement up with a fact? Nope.
Still, I'm convinced that the boys in blue are more interested in making easy money by pulling over people like me for "California stops" than going after real criminals. To twist around an old cliche: there's never a cop around when you need one but there's sure to a black & white nearby when you're in the middle of doing something stupid.
But all this apprehension took a sharp 180 about twelve hours ago.
At 11 AM this morning a man arrived on my parents doorstep pretending to be a pollster. My sister and their senile springer spaniel guard dog were upstairs. He rang the door numerous times. She headed down to investigate and opted not to open the door. He left.
Five minutes later he returned, opened the mail slot and peered around. Then he broke out a screwdriver and tried to pry open the locks. My sister called 911, and in a moment of rage-filled panic, punched the door and shouted "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" The springer spaniel, meanwhile, was napping peacefully on the couch upstairs.
The would-be thief turned tail and disappeared into the park across the street. Within minutes three PPD squad cars were parked out front. I made it over there in time to watch a German Shepherd in a yellow vest sniff around the property before chasing after a scent in the park. After stopping for a potty break on a nearby bush, it dragged one of Portland's finest over to the parking lot. The wannabe thief had presumably taken off in car. This same guy may be responsible for a series of break-ins elsewhere in the neighborhood.
The thief busted open the lock on the doorknob. There's no telling what would have happened if my sister had been asleep upstairs or listening to her iPod. One officer claimed he would have taken off the second he discovered someone in the house but all the cop dramas and Le Tigre songs I've absorbed over the years suggest otherwise.
Will this guy make another attempt at robbing my parents? Doubtful. Still the event will keep us all paranoid in the weeks to come. I'm already worried about the vulnerability of my own residence. Will security lights and that Brink's sticker on the front door really scare away Portland's meth-crazed sociopaths bent on stealing my worthless Macintosh and $8 Darth Tater?
Everyone's safe but unsound and our peace of mind has been officially shot to hell. And this isn't the first time we've gone through this sort of thing. Last year someone attempted to break into her Eugene triplex before he headed across the street and broke into a neighbor's house while they were sleeping. Years back, a burglar attempted to pry open a basement window at my parent's place before he headed next door, tried the same trick on a sliding glass door and was promptly tackled by the home-owner. My car has been stolen twice and I'm still angry about the bike tire that was stolen outside of my dorm six years ago.
It may be time to invest in a very large dog, a very large gun or a very large dog that knows how to operate a very large gun.
At least one good thing came out of this miserable little incident: my faith in local law enforcement has been rejuvenated. I wish I had gotten the names of the officers who investigated and that German Shepherd so I could thank them here. Cops are now A-OK in my book.
Or least most cops. I'm still not too keen on the traffic variety.
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
It came from Roseburg
The whole "Flying Spaghetti Monster" thing started in Roseburg?
Will wonders never cease?
Last Saturday's Oregonian includes an article on how it all began. Here's the link.
A night with the Zoobombers
I recently wrote a retrospective on the Zoobombers and spent an evening with the mini-bike gang last month. Before I headed downtown that night I had a few reservations, among them:
1. I hadn't been on a bicycle in over four years.
2. I hadn't ridden down a very large hill on a bike in over ten years.
3. As with most sports (extreme or otherwise) and activities that involve any level of physical exertion, I suck at bike riding.
I met up with a few members at their usual rendezvous point on Burnside. If you're not familiar with the Zoobombers, they're a loose assemblage of speed demons that all go by codenames and enjoy blazing down the West Hills on Sunday nights, usually astride modified kiddie bikes. Their weekly runs began three years ago and almost immediately resulted in headbutting between them, Tri-Met, local residents and PPD. Over time, they hammered out their differences and the Zoobombers now freely roam the hills with little intervention from The Man.
After making the rounds I asked to borrow a loaner "pile bike" since the gears on mountain bike back home are shot. Overlooking an array of boy's bikes, a Zoobomber dragged out this one out of the pile:
Yup. A tiny, bright pink girl's bike. Another newbie that arrived just before me had been given a testosterone-fueled bike modified with growling "Hulk Hands."
A regular had an even smaller and more effeminate ride so I bit the bullet and went with the flow. I jumped on the bike and followed them over to the nearest MAX stop with my knees up to my elbows. It should also be noted that I was wearing a bright orange NASCAR helmet with racing stripes, the cheapest one I could find at GI Joe's.
I missed the train while trying to get a ticket machine to accept a wadded-up dollar bill. Now the only rider left at the stop, I tried to look nonchalant as possible among a scattered gathering of Sunday night commuters and downtown's usual array of methheads, crackheads, crazies, etc. Soon enough, other riders showed up, among them a pair of transplanted Californians in tiny Hustler t-shirts. One of the regulars was taking them on their first ever Zoobomb.
At one stop on the ride up a group of Japanese exchange students piled on. Immediately entranced by these girls and their, um, bikes, they couldn't stop staring. Unwilling to disappoint, the Californians wandered over and started chatting. One student begged for a picture. He smiled as his friend fumbled with a camera, completely oblivious to what was about to happen. Right before the shutter snapped, one turned to him and surprised him with a sloppy kiss. After thanking them a million times, the students jumped off at the last stop before the train headed up the hill.
At the Washington Park station I found myself riding on the elevator with a teenager and a dreadlocked guy in a black trenchcoat. In a basket on his bike was a doll wrapped in chains with "ZOOBOMB!" written on its diaper. Attached to the handlebars was a boombox cranking out surf tunes. As the doors opened, they disappeared, leaving me to navigate the park's pitch black hills.
Within a minute I was lost and close to kicking the story to the curb. The night was obviously going to end with either serious injury, further humiliation or both. As I turned back, I heard "Surfin' Safari" coming up the hill.
Not quite willing to throw in the towel, I followed the rasta-goth to a meadow filled with roughly a hundred Zoobombers. Many of them were eager to show off their scars, anecdotes and bikes. One led me to what he called an "Assacre," a modified scooter with a hidden compartment in the base. The rider sits on the bottom of the contraption with their butt roughly two inches from the pavement. A poorly maneuvered turn would inevitably result in an awkward trip to an emergency ward, thus the name. Another "double decker" bike featured two bike frames welded together.
One member told me a story about the time he foiled a mugging while dressed in a salmon costume. Another threw out an anecdote about the time he flew over his handlebars and skidded, on his head, a few feet down Jefferson Street before finally coming to a bloody halt. Later that night several of the Zoobombers were planning to go on a "Hellbomb" down US 26. They tried to coax me into going along, guaranteeing that the run would make me piss my pants. Ride a kiddie bike down a freeway? A hard opportunity to pass up.
Eventually, it came time to Zoobomb and everyone jumped on their bikes and blazed down to the starting line on a nearby street. I took a few photos as they headed off, only to later realize I didn't know the route down. Within minutes I was lost again with the occasional car buzzing by along the hills' blind curves. I was no doubt going to die of something up there, be it embarrassment or otherwise.
If I hadn't been lost, in the dark, on a tiny girl's bike, this might have been fun. The bike handled fairly well, despite the size and the brakes worked great. All in all, things weren't going so bad. I would be last rider to cross the finish line but at least I hadn't broken anything. Yet. Then as I buzzed by four yuppies heading back to their cars near the Sacajawea Fountain, my bike light hit the pavement. I pulled over and wandered back up the hill for its various pieces as they stopped to stare. The broken light would later set me back $30.
Wildly off course, I wound back to the rendezvous MAX stop by the Goose Hollow. It should have taken me less than five minutes to make it down there. Instead it took over twenty. I figured the other riders were already heading up for the second run so I decided to kill time at the Goose Hollow Tavern with a PBR. Two minutes later they were back down, already lining up for the next train and I'd barely touched the beer. I started chugging as one pulled up and it was gone by the time I made it across the street. The next MAX wouldn't be by for another twenty minutes.
The time was easy to kill. Someone had mysteriously abandoned a big-screen TV at stop. Within a few minutes, a white Tri-Met pickup appeared on the scene. The driver hopped out and scratched his head. I tried to help him move it but the thing must have weighed a few hundred pounds. Exhausted at the end of his workday he considered leaving it for someone else to deal with. "It'll be gone by morning," he reasoned. Before he could jump back in, two Zoobombers rolled up and offered to help.
He drove off with the TV in the back and one told me I had already missed the freeway run (not that I was cut out for it) and a "pile-up caused by two new girls that didn't know what they were doing." By the time I made it up the hill the Zoobombers would be heading down on their third run. I decided to call it a night.
After a near collision with an opening car door, I made it back to Burnside and left the bike next to the pile. While I'd missed out on a suicide run down Us-26 the night taught me all sorts of fantastic life lessons worthy of a "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book or at least an episode of "Inspector Gadget."
OK, not really. The night only taught me one thing: that I ain't cut out for riding tiny bikes down a very large hill. Any future attempts at extreme sports will be conducted via an Xbox.
Friday, September 09, 2005
The girl likes to potty all the time, potty all the time...
And now it's time for an anti-climatic anecdote.
A few Friday nights back I was sitting at the Taco Bell drive-thru on West Burnside. It was around 1 AM and the taxi ahead of me had just pulled up to the speaker box. In the rearview mirror I could see the cabbie rubbing his temples and looking like he was enduring the worst migraine in the history of migraines. Piled inside with him were four identical blondes, each drunk and dressed to the nines- all giggling and clapping their hands. While this scenario may have once been a dream fare, in reality it was proving to be an endless nightmare.
Then one of them popped out of the cab. Stumbling atop high heels, she wandered over to the front door and started banging, howling for someone to let her inside. The rest of blondes looked on, ignoring the box's pleas for their order and an explanation that main restaurant closed at 10, no exceptions.
POTTY GIRL (still undaunted): "Let me in! I have to go pee! Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaad! *hiccup*"
After a few minutes of this one of her friends came up with a solution.
OTHER BLONDE: "Just go behind the dumpster."
A line of vehicles was growing, leading out the parking lot and down Burnside. As over a dozen sets of eyes watched this scene unfold, she headed over to the rusty dumpster and considered her options.
POTTY GIRL: "I can't go here! All these people are watching me!"
OTHER BLONDE: "Then get back in. You can go to bathroom later.
POTTY GIRL: "But I have to go noooooooooooooooooow!"
After wandering around the parking lot in search for a hidden toilet, she headed for the garage at Fred Meyer. Meanwhile, the group in a Jeep Cherokee behind me was getting seriously irked. Inside were four brunettes, probably returning home after a stint at Dixie's Tavern, all dressed in wife beaters and matching brimmed hats.
Sure, it all sounds like a beer commercial gone awry but I swear I'm not making this up.
One of the brunettes jumped out of the jeep, stomped past my car and stood with her arms folded, evidentially hoping her rough and tough cowgirl stance would get things moving. It didn't work. Another one joined her. Still nothing. By this time the line was no doubt stretching all the way down to Powell's Bookstore.
Not eager to engage in a Taco Bell brawl, the blondes vainly yelled for their friend to return but she had disappeared into the depths of the parking garage. At any second the cowgirls were going to unleash a wave of pure estrogen fury on the cab. Their colleagues were fumbling around in the jeep, possibly looking for a tire iron or a Club to bust some peroxide-soaked heads. The cabbie was leaning against the driver's side window, his eyes buried in a furry hand. He may have been crying. While he was sure to get a $80 fare out of this, there was no way these harpies was going to tip him, let alone loan him two extra strength Tylenol.
And then...
...the blonde returned from the parking garage, looking refreshed. Satisfied but still seriously pissed the cowgirls called off their attack. After watching the taxi's contents struggle to order to the tune of car horns, the cabbie finally shifted into "drive."
Estimated time of the delay: 10 minutes, probably longer.
As I pulled up to the window the taco jockey looked jaded and bored. "Well, that was interesting," he said, handing me a Grilled Stuft Burrito. This sort of thing must happen 10 times a night down there.
More South Park on the horizon
Hooray! At least three more years of animated lewdness is in the works. From the Hollywood Reporter:
Comedy Central has inked a deal with the creators of "South Park" to bring back the long-running animated series for three additional seasons, the network announced Thursday. Executive producers and co-creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker will write, direct and edit 42 more episodes of "Park." Currently in its ninth season, "Park" will stay put through 2008, producing 14 episodes each year over the next three years. Financial terms of the deal were not disclosed, but it is expected to be one of basic cable's biggest producer paydays with revenues from "South" DVDs and merchandise thrown in. The series is also about to enter syndication later this month.
It'll be a challenge for Parker and Stone to top the finale of last season's Paris Hilton episode (which may or may not the series' "most outrageous" moment) but, with three years ahead of them, surely they'll think of something.
The new season starts October 19th.
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Harry Knowles' take on the Oregon coast
I couldn't make it out to coast for Alamo Drafthouse's screening of the Goonies last week but Harry Knowles, of Ain't It Cool News fame, was there. Apparently, he and his family drove from Medford up I-5 and over to Astoria. Here's his take on the World's Largest Spruce Tree:
"Then we spotted a sign saying, 'World's Largest Spruce Tree.' You have to cross this one lane rickety bridge over a river that was...interesting. Then you enter the forest canopy. This is awesome. In here you can see that all of the Christmas trees have their branches covered with green moss. Really gorgeous. The tree is enormous. Being from Austin, I'm a tree freak – and seeing a Christmas tree that's 56 ft around and 200 – some odd feet tall...well, biggest and oldest Christmas tree ever. That's cool."
My first trip to the tree was probably while I was still in the womb so it's weird to see an out-of-towner's take on the coast. Knowles refers to Haystack Rock and the Needles as "the three rocks."
For his rundown on the event along with photos click here.
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
I've been out of town for a while...
...and fairly isolated from newspapers, the internet, cable news, etc. What did I miss?
So, apparently, all that was once good and great about this country curled up and died in New Orleans while I was gone.
I've spent a good portion of the last few days catching up on all of the madness, finger pointing, heart-breaking imagery and the utter incompetence of just about nearly everyone involved in a position of authority.
I don't have much of anything to add to the debate over this swirling nightmare so I'll just keep my mouth shut and go back to cranking out the regularly scheduled slew of ridiculous Portland anecdotes and sub-mediocre photos of kitsch.
Well, eventually but not before I spend a few hours hiding underneath a pile of blankets. If a huge earthquake or a storm of the century ever hits Oregon it's now obvious that we're all completely and, let's be honest with ourselves, utterly screwed.
I'll also throw this out here: I had considered traveling to the Big Easy before a lack of $ nixed the idea. If everything had come together I would have flown down there on August 27th.


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Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray Reviews
- Other Pest Control & Pesticides:
- Average: 3.8
- High: 5.0
- Type:
- Weed Killers
- Brand:
- Spectracide
Read 2 Reviews
REVIEW SNAPSHOT®by PowerReviews
Reviewed by 2 customers
Comments about Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray:
Most everyone has issues with weeds, but weeds are particularly troublesome if you live in a warm, humid climate. Living near the Texas coast, I am fully aware of what the words "warm" and "humid" are all about and I have weed problems on a consistent basis. To handle my problem, I decided to purchase **Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray**, a product that claims to kill more than 250 weeds. **Weed Killer Commentary:** Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray is, like its name suggests, a weed killer that is pre- mixed and ready to use with a pull of the trigger sprayer. I have used other ready to use sprays like Roundup and Ortho and I have had good experiences each time. Just a few sprays to coat the weed is all it usually takes to kill them, root and all.
But Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray is different. It has not delivered on *any* of its promises. I first applied this product to some dandelions and other weeds growing in the open ridge in the middle of my driveway, followed by a few sprays on some weeds in my lawn. I waited and waited for something to happen, but after several days, there was no noticeable difference. The weeds I sprayed had not changed in any significant way. They were still as green and healthy as ever before. I even tried applying a second coat, but the weeds were still growing and thriving. Frustrated, I peeled off the label on the bottle of Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray reveals a few facts about the product I did not know when I made the purchase and it helps to explain some of the ineffectiveness. The first thing I checked was the listing of weeds that this product is capable of killing. It claims to kill 250 different weeds but, believe it or not, the common weed known as crabgrass wasn't on the list! Now, I understand that not all weed killers are capable of killing crabgrass, but the back label (the one you see before you peel the label open) of Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray clearly states: *Kills ALL major broadleaf weeds, including dandelion, chickweed, and clover*. Crabgrass is a type of broadleaf weed, yet the inside label does not list it as one of the weeds the product is capable of killing. Does Spectracide not consider crabgrass a *major* broadleaf weed? Is that their excuse? I consider crabgrass a very common (which to me, means the same as major) broadleaf weed. This seems like a clear case of deceptive advertising to me. Aside from the inability to kill crabgrass, I noticed another startling message on the inside label. It stated that Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray may not work and may require a second coating. That is fine, but it says to wait *three weeks* before assuming the weed needs another treatment and trying again. What kind of a weed- killing agent requires three weeks to work? A product like Roundup or Ortho spot weed killer produces noticeable results in one day. I don't have the patience to wait three weeks for a weed killing product to work- not when other products will complete the job in only a couple of days. And guess what? Even after waiting for three weeks, there was no noticeable effect on these weeds. **Bottom Line Viewpoint:**
Based on my experience, Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray is a total failure. I did notice a little curling of the leaves on a weed or two. But that was it- the weeds were still not killed. They were still holding themselves together, growing as well as usual. This is very surprising, since I have generally had good results with Spectracide products. Looks like it's time to go back to Ortho and Roundup. Spectracide Weed Stop Ready to Use Spray has turned out to be more like fertilizer than weed killer and it ranks as one of the most useless lawn products I have ever tried.
Comments about Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray:
**Spectracide Weed Stop for Lawns Ready to Use Spray does not work as fast as they say it works. In fact, I had to use a second application to my lawn and the dandylions are still thumbing their noses at it.**

subset: commoncrawl


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Below are the certificates of approval categories for which the laboratory has New York State and Connecticut State Certification. Click on the approval catergory to read a copy of our certificates listing all the analytes for which we are approved.
- Potable Water - Drinking water
- Nonpotable Water - Raw & Wastewater
- Solid and Hazardous Waste - Soil & Paintchips
If you require a quote for services, contact our Environmental Client Services Manager, Bob Cofer at (914) 231-1620.


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Full Interview with Wit (IQwitMusic): Church Clothes, Lecrae & KJ-52 Collab, Frontlynaz
I've had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with Wit back when I served as the tour DJ for the Frontlynaz. It's been amazing to watch him grow as a man, producer and personality. The past few weeks have seen him produce several tracks on Lecrae's Church Clothes mixtape, KJ-52's collaboration with Lecrae as well as This'l's "Black Rose."
Tune in as we sit down with Wit from iQuitMusic to discuss:
- Working with Lecrae on Church Clothes
- How the KJ-52 & Lecrae "They Like Me" record came about
- His Thoughts on Producers working with Secular artists
- The Finale of Hells Paradise 2 with Dre Murray
- The possibility of another Frontlynaz Record
- And more….
To Download: Click Here


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Posted by Lynne Buller, Jul 2 2010 9:27PM
Please do not use forums to advertise courses.
Holy Grail
I am asking if anyone knows where is the best place to look for employed therapist vacancies. I currently work part time doing my therapies and part time in another job, however I would love to be in a full time therapist's job. I am unable to dedicate my full time to my business as I would like, for financial reasons, so I am hoping there would be employed opportunities out there, but I am having no luck even finding any vacancies let alone applying for anything. Is there such thing as a full time employed therapist or am I looking for the Holy Grail! I live in the South West area.
Any help would be much appreciated, Lynne :)


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Copyright © www.DarkSpotRemovers.com - Zeta White Review - All Rights Reserved
About Us
Legal Disclaimer
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So Why Is Everybody Talking About the Zeta White Skin Lightening System?
The Zeta White skin lightener is a 3 part skin whitening system that is comprised of a face wash cream, moisturizing cream and an overnight cream. Each cream is formulated to lighten the skin's pigment giving your entire body a lighter appearance or it can also be used on specific body parts such as your face, your decolletage, your knees, your hands or your elbows etc. Unlike most skin whiteners Zeta White works during the day and night and is 100% all-natural and safe to use on every skin type.
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All of the Zeta White products are made with 100% plant based ingredients, which makes it a better, safer alternative to chemical based skin lightening creams as well as costly and often risky surgical procedures. Most skin lightening creams contain hydroquinone and mercury which can result in serious side effects and neurological damage, Zeta White does not contain hydroquinone, mercury or any other dangerous chemicals. If you are concerned about chemicals be sure to check the product label first before purchasing any skin lightening products, or better yet, buy Zeta White with full confidence knowing you are buying the purest product of it's kind.
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Zeta White has quickly become recognized at the #1 skin lightening system in the world and is clinically proven to whiten and brighten your overall complexion in as little as 2 - 4 weeks, the Zeta white system also
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...That's the question to be examined in this Zeta White review.


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- Durationof movie : 120 Min
- Average vote of movie : 0
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- Cast of movie :Lauren Lapkus (Alex Bean), Topher Grace (Nick), Anne Heche (), Taye Diggs (Malcolm), Rob Riggle (), Paul Scheer (Ron), Brian Huskey (Lee)
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Hello beautiful people! Welcome to this floral entry.
Few days after returning from my Hongkong-Macau trip. Me and my fellow blogger, Cherry and also my other friend Yonni visited a restaurant at the seaside in Jakarta.
Introducing vintage 1960s Chloé! My proud possession.
The vintage Chloe and Leather Satchel of my friend, Yonni.
New shoes I bought. Transparent plexiglas as heels balanced the girly aura of these babies.
Just a blooper picture that I like- Me, Cherry and Yonni
Pardon the Avocado juice.
Me and fellow blogger, Cherry. visit her cool blog: weirdandwicked.blogspot.com
Hat: Stradivarius
T-shirt: Uniqlo
Shorts: Uniqlo
Shoes: B Store
Ring: Urban Renewal
Bag (suitcase): 1960s Chloé


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Course Code: 6M5147
|Award Title
|Award Code
|QQI Level
|Sport & Recreation
|Open - Apply Now
This course allows students the opportunity to refine and further develop their skills in the sports and fitness area. Students gain a deeper understanding of sports related topics and gain experience in dealing with a variety of groups. They learn to apply their knowledge and skills obtained at level 5
Successful students will qualify with an additional ITEC Diploma in Personal Training and gain invaluable work experience in this area.
GCC Registration Fee of €250 applies to all learners.
€200 Government Levy Fee applies to all learners except:
An exam free of €50 for QQI Level 5 and €80 for QQI Level 6 applies to all learners except
We advise non-EU citizens living outside Ireland to contact the Irish Naturalisation and Immigration Service on www.inisgov.ie to ensure the course you are considering applying for is eligible for a student visa. Non-EU citizens living in Ireland are welcome to apply and require a PPS number (Personal Public Service Number). Non-EU citizens are required to pay a tuition fee set by the Irish government which is currently €3653. Some exemptions apply, for further information, please contact http://www.gretb.ie .
Work experience takes place throughout the academic year in a variety of centres and enterprises offering sport and recreation activities.
This includes
(Additional Coaching badges are available with Level 5 group)
Successful completion of a QQI Level 5 Award in Sport & Recreation Studies
DSRXX or equivalent
Additional costs may apply for NGB accreditation.
Galway Community College reserves the right to make changes to any course, to limit the number of places available or to withdraw a course. No part of this information shall be deemed to form a contract between the college and a student or a third party.
Sport and Recreation - AIT - Level 7
Sport and Recreation - WIT - Level 7
Strength and Conditioning - LIT - Level 7
Sport and Business - LIT - Level 8
Health Promotion - WIT - Level 8
Sports and Exercise - Carlow IT - Level 8
Sports Coach
Strength and Conditioning Coach
Sports Nutritionist
Personal Trainer
Fitness Instructor
Sports Management
Sports Development Officer
Exercise & fitness level 5 in GCC was a huge stepping stone in my career as a Personal Trainer/ Fitness Instructor. I would highly recommend this course to anyone with an interest in the Health and Fitness area. The tutors are highly qualified and experienced in a range of sport related areas. I have currently progressed to level 6 in GCC and intend to achieve higher goals in the fitness industry.


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As an Interior Designer, Architect or other design/trade professional, you're invited to an exclusive event!
Join us at EQ3 (1545 Portage Avenue) on Thursday, October 19 from 6:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m. for the annual Wine + Design: an exclusive EQ3 Design Community Event.
Mix and mingle with the EQ3 Product Development and Visual team over light bites and wine and all things design, as we launch our new fall collections for 2017/2018!
The design team will be in attendance all night to talk about the inspiration and process behind all your favorite EQ3 products.
Those attending will receive a special gift bag, and a chance to win a $300 or $150 EQ3 gift card.
We can't wait to see you!


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Speaking to Citi News, an Executive Director in charge of Technical at the EPA, Ebenezer Sampong, said the Agency started receiving reports of the factory's operations in 2017. The last time I spoke with the District Chief Executive, he said we are expecting a report from the EPA" he stated. Martin Fianuo said tilapia production along the Volta Lake, rice production at Asutuare, as well as banana farmers, are likely to be affected. "The waste material from their paper is dumped into a drain which leads into a catchment drain of the canal. The factory fumes, together with the toilet roll fumes are causing serious problems," he added.
Source: GhanaWeb February 12, 2018 14:26 UTC


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The Sun enters the sign of Aquarius on January 19th at 8:11 p.m., Mountain Time. Aquarius is an air sign and is associated with the wild child of the Zodiac, Uranus. Aquarius is the free spirit of all the astrology signs. This sign is the perfect entrepreneur because of the need to be independent. This sign doesn't take direction very well. Aquarians are often involved with the high tech industry, inventions and intellectual properties that that help the world. They are the humanitarians who want to save the whales and are willing to march for a cause.
We have a couple of Eclipses this month and at least one of them is quite interesting. The year of 2018 opened on January 1st with a Super Moon, which is such a great way to begin the year. On January 31st will be another Full Moon, but this one is also a Lunar Eclipse. But there's more. The second Full Moon during a month is called a Blue Moon. So this one is called a Blue Super Moon Eclipse in Leo! Once again, what an unusual way to start the year! In addition to the Blue Super Moon Eclipse, we will also have a Solar Eclipse on February 15th in Aquarius. All the Solar Eclipses this year are partial Eclipses, so nothing very exciting with Eclipses this year.
Valentine's Day this year will be one day before the Solar Eclipse. So the Moon will be in Aquarius for this holiday. This sign is perfect for having an unusual Valentine's Day. Break old traditions and try something fun and different for your loved ones.
There are several planets changing signs this month, which will stir up the energy a bit, especially for the signs involved.
- Mars will enter Sagittarius on January 26th to bring even more dynamic actions. Travel is highlighted now.
- Mercury enters Aquarius on January 31st, the same day as the Blue Super Moon to add some quirkiness to the Full Moon.
- Venus enters Pisces on February 10th. That is a loving combination that would be great for healing massages or facials. Spa pampering.
Regarding the visible planets, we're in for a treat this month. But the catch is that we'll have to get up before sunrise to see them. If you get up about ½ hour before sunrise, you can see Mercury, Saturn, Mars and Jupiter in a sweet arch across the sky. Mercury will be fleeting and will disappear into the glow of the Sun by January 31st, but the rest will be there all month. This is a rare alignment of planets and it will be worth it to get up early to spot them.
Have a fabulous month and I'll see you in Pisces!


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The importance of taking a holiday
The importance of taking a holiday!
As mum, and owner of travel company, Bookings For You, specialising in organising villa holidays to Italy, France and Croatia, Jo Mackay knows better than most the benefits of taking that 'proper break' and booking time off from work.
However, according to a recent YouGov Survey, as many as a third of employees aren't taking their full quota of annual leave. And these statistics are even worse if you look at small business owners and entrepreneurs. Among this group, a OnePoll survey showed that over three quarters of small business owners and entrepreneurs have sacrificed their holidays in order to keep their business running.
So what are their reasons for not doing taking time off? Certainly for those running the business on their own, they may feel that the business can't survive without them at the helm 24/7. Or maybe they feel if they are away, they may miss that big, once in a lifetime opportunity. Or perhaps it's more a simply case of not feeling that they can delegate the workload.
So, whilst Jo Mackay may help thousands of people a year find the perfect holiday, does she practice what she preaches? Or does she fall into this same category of business owners seemingly unable to tear themselves away from their desks?
There is certainly no doubt in her mind that taking time out of the business can reap dividends in the long run…. giving the mind and body a much needed rest from the day to day can spur creativity, whilst being out of the office and enjoying that much needed change in scenery can truly inspire and deliver fresh ideas. Whether it's a few days off, or even a week or fortnight out of the office, in her opinion that period of rest and relaxation definitely allows you to function more effectively and efficiently when you do return to the office, with a new zest and zeal to grow the business in the months ahead.
But, for Jo, just as important as booking the time off and taking that well deserved holiday, is ensuring that, once there, you can relax and enjoy it. All too often do you hear stories of families trying to enjoy a holiday whilst one of the parents has their phone glued to their ear fielding work calls or of days out being delayed until a crucial email has been written and sent.
There are those who believe that a holiday should reflect the other extreme and be a complete break from work… phones should be switched off and laptops ignored. But Jo Mackay doesn't believe that this approach is either realistic or necessary either. Instead, just work smartly… the key to a successful holiday is all in the preparation.
Here are Jo's top tips on how to give yourself that much needed break from the office:
- If your business is of a size where you have a good team around you, then empower those colleagues to step up to the plate in your absence. Having a clear division of responsibilities amongst your team will ensure that everyone is clear on their roles whilst you're out of the office, whilst being clear on the priorities will ensure that the work that needs to be focused on gets done in your absence. But don't be too prescriptive on this either. It's a fine balance and you may well find that, by giving your team that extra bit of freedom, that they truly shine and rise to the challenge, surprising you with their initiative.
- Put the workload in perspective. Most businesses can categorise their workload in order of importance and urgency. Whilst everything may seem urgent and important when you're in the thick of it, step back and really assess priorities. Most people will find that a certain % of the 'to do' list can be put on hold for a few days. As a general rule, prioritise anything that is customer facing and push back any of the back office work.
- Outsource the basics… You can set expectations whilst you are away by putting an 'out of office' response on emails. People you work and communicate with regularly will pick up on this and will start to consider what emails they sent, aware that you're perhaps not back in the office until the following week. Or, if you want to cut down on the time you spend on devices, use a virtual assistant to check emails on your behalf. They can assess the urgency of anything and contact you with just the things that really can't wait….
- Plan ahead – social media is key to so many businesses these days but with some forward planning, much of your social media can be prescheduled. The services of a virtual assistant can again be taken if you need someone to handle comments and posts on a daily basis.
- Schedule set time each day to check emails. In other words, set clear boundaries on when you will work each day. It's not always realistic to switch your phone off altogether but by setting allocated times each day, you will limit how much time you spend on devices. It's so much better than constantly checking the phone during the day and so much healthier for both yourself and anyone you are travelling with. Perhaps you may decide to get up an hour before the children to do this so that this doesn't encroach at all on family time.
- Think about the best time to take a holiday. As an example, most people booking with Bookings For You stay between April and October. As a result, Jo often takes time out of the business over Christmas and New Year. At that time, there are few guests staying in her holiday villas and most of the contact from clients is on email which can easily be managed at set times during the day. Trying to head off at the busiest time of the year for your business is only going to make it harder to switch off…
Finally, if you're a small business owner with a team around you, it's important to remember that, as the boss, you are responsible for setting a good example. It's good for your team to see you putting work in perspective, it's good for them to see you putting your faith in them to manage the workload and it's good for business for not just you but all of your staff to take that break from the office.


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Building GlassFish from Source
Building GlassFish from Source
Join the DZone community and get the full member experience.Join For Free
WSO2 is the only open source vendor to be named a leader in The Forrester Wave™: API Management Solutions, Q4 2018 Report. Download the report now or try out our product for free.
This article will look at building Glassfish 4.0.1 from source and configuring NetBeans 8.0 to then use, modify, and debug it. While GlassFish can be downloaded ready for use, even coming bundled with NetBeans, there will be some among us who need (or just want) to build it from scratch. This build was conducted using a 64bit Linux Distro, JDK 1.7.0_55, Maven 3.2.1, and SVN 1.8.8.
Building GlassFish
If you want to see the official instructions from Oracle for building GlassFish (which was my first port of call), follow this link: https://wikis.oracle.com/display/GlassFish/FullBuildInstructions
Despite initially sounding complex, building GlassFish from source is a fairly straightforward thing to do; the most complex thing required of you is to configure some Maven parameters! Let's start off with this, as it's a step that you don't want to get wrong, lest you find yourself waiting for Maven to install GlassFish to only then give up after 20 minutes!
Configuring Maven
Create a MAVEN_OPTS environment variable and set it as:
-Xmx1024M -XX:MaxPermSize=512m
This is to stop Maven from running out of memory; the default settings do not provide enough memory for it to successfully complete the installation. If you are fortunate to have a surplus of memory, feel free to bump this up! With the "hard" bit done, let's now get the GlassFish source code.
Getting the Source Code
Being open-source, GlassFish can be downloaded and modified for free. To download the source code, navigate to where you would like the files to be downloaded to with the terminal and use the following command (make sure you have it on your path if it isn't by default):
svn checkout https://svn.java.net/svn/glassfish~svn/trunk/main
This will download the source code to a folder called main in the current directory. With that done, it's about time we got down to building GlassFish.
Building GlassFish
If all goes well, GlassFish can be built with a single command; told you it was relatively simple! Navigate into the main directory with the terminal, and run the following command (again, make sure you have it on your path):
mvn install
If you want to save a bit of time when building GlassFish, you can append the install command with the following flag to skip all of the tests:
If you find that it throws a "peer not authenticated" error, this is due to the JVM not trusting the certificates of the Maven repository. To get around this, you can temporarily disable the certificate validation of Maven by appending the following flags to the install command:
-Dmaven.wagon.http.ssl.insecure=true –Dmaven.wagon.http.ssl.allowall=true
Whilst it would be better to configure the JVM to trust the certificates so these flags aren't necessary, it's outside the scope of this blog.
The first build can take a while to complete, so unless you find watching the log text scrolling by particularly mesmerising, find something to do for about 20-30 minutes.
Using GlassFish as an Application Server
Once GlassFish has been built, we can use it just like as if we'd downloaded it pre-compiled.
- From NetBeans, expand the Tools drop-down list from the toolbar, select Servers, and click on Add Server.
- From the new popup window, select GlassFish Server from the server type list, and give it a name, before clicking Next.
- You will be presented with the Server Location window, prompting you to enter the GlassFish installation location. For our newly built GlassFish server, this can be found at:
- install_dir/main/appserver/distributions/glassfish/target/stage/glassfish4 (where install_dir refers to the directory that main is located in)
- At the next window, leave the settings as their defaults.
With that, our GlassFish server should now be configured and ready to be started!
Modifying GlassFish
NetBeans natively understands Maven due to a bundled plugin, so using NetBeans to modify the Glassfish code is as easy as opening any other project. Simply open the main folder as a project, and then browse through the modules for the one you wish to modify or add to.
As an example, let's break GlassFish!
- Load GlassFish (the main directory) into NetBeans.
- Open the Core Bootstrap Classes module: Modules, GlassFish Nucleus Parent Project, GlassFish Nucleus Core modules, Appserver Core Bootstraping Classes glassfish-jar. (The typo of Bootstraping is actually there at time of writing!).
- Open up the MainHelper class for editing by double clicking on it from the Projects pane.
From here, let's make a little mayhem by changing a single number. Scroll down to the checkJdkVersion() method, and change the if statement from this:
if (minor < 7) {
To this:
if (minor < 12) {
In human speak, this means the Java code is no longer checking if the JDK being used is less than JDK 7, and instead is checking if the JDK being used is less than JDK 12. This will cause GlassFish to exit immediately upon trying to start a domain; a nice, easy way to see if our change has actually taken effect.
Make sure you've saved the change for it to be compiled, and then open up a terminal. Navigate to the main directory, and execute the following command to build our changes:
mvn install -pl nucleus/core/bootstrap –amd
This command will only build the specified module and those that are dependent upon it. The –pl (projects) flag specifies the specific projects to build, and the –amd (also-make-dependents) flag specifies that all dependent modules also be built. For future reference, if you change more than one module, the –pl flag allows you to specify multiple modules in a comma separated list like this:
mvn install –pl module1_path,module2_path.
If you want to be thorough (which is best if you want to properly test your changes), just rebuild the entire code; it will likely not take as long as the first time.
Once Maven has finished working its magic, navigate to the GlassFish bin directory, install_dir/main/appserver/distributions/glassfish/target/stage/glassfish4/glassfish/bin, and try to start the domain (./asadmin start-domain). You should get an error message that makes GlassFish sound a little unreasonable (below), proving that our change has taken effect.
The server exited prematurely with exit code 1.
Before it died, it produced the following output:
Apr 25, 2014 10:38:44 AM com.sun.enterprise.glassfish.bootstrap.MainHelper checkJdkVersion
SEVERE: GlassFish requires JDK 7, you are using JDK version 7.
Debugging GlassFish
Change back the if statement we modified in the previous section to its original value, and rebuild the module using the same command as before (it helps to have a working GlassFish to continue!).
To debug GlassFish, we first need to set up our debugger:
- From NetBeans, start the GlassFish Server in debug mode.
- Click on the Debug drop-down from the toolbar, and select Attach Debugger.
- Use the JDPA debugger, with a SocketAttach Connector. The host will be the localhost(or the name of your machine), and the Port should be 9009 (the GlassFish default).
- Open the Window drop-down from the toolbar, expand the Debugging list, and click on Sources to open the Sources window.
- Right click in the Sources window, select Add Source Root, and add the main directory.
If everything has gone smoothly, you should see the main directory be present in the Sources window, signifying that we've now linked the source code to our GlassFish Server, ready to be debugged. Let's just check it's working with a quick example before we start celebrating:
- Open the RestResponse class, found under GlassFish Appserver Parent Project, Admin Console Packages, Admin Console Common glassfish-jar (you may notice that the path to this module will be added to the Sources window).
- In the getResponseCode() method, add in the highlighted line before the large if statement, such that it looks like this (feel free to alter the message):
... String contentType = response.getHeaderString("Content-type"); Logger.getLogger(RestResponse.class.getName()).log(Level.INFO, "Help me! The author keeps breaking me!"); if (contentType != null) { ...
- Add in a break point on our newly added line.
- Save and then rebuild GlassFish with Maven.
- Restart GlassFish in debug mode and re-attach the NetBeans Debugger (you don't need to add the source root again).
- Open up a browser and navigate to the Admin Console.
The break point should trigger, and if you step over or continue a few times, you will see our logger message being output in the GlassFish Server pane of the Output window.
Wrapping Up
And with that, you should now have built GlassFish from source and taken your first steps on modifying and debugging it. Have fun, and remember to make backups; we just aptly showed how easy it is to break it!
Read the WSO2 Methodology for Agility to see how you can transform your integration projects from semi-agile to a scalable continuous agile approach.
Published at DZone with permission of Andrew Pielage . See the original article here.
Opinions expressed by DZone contributors are their own.


text:
Skill offer their professional and reliable service to all manner of general construction and refurbishment projects, including:
- Listed Building refurbishments
- New Build Construction Projects (Private and Social)
- Residential Building and Refurbishments
- Retail
- Ministry of Defence
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- Local Authority Regeneration Schemes
Our team is highly experienced and are trained to both the Network Rail Personal Track Safety qualification and the London Underground Entry permit system and fully appreciate and understand the high safety critical factors, program / possession times and access issues involved with Railway working.
The Skill team is highly experienced and conversant with working on Great Britain's Highways, whether working during normal daytime hours or task lit `night time working`. Our vehicles are adorned with the relevant `Highways Maintenance` signage and Beacons for safe and compliant working.
Whether we are undertaking a large encapsulation scaffold to an ornate sailing vessel or building a small access platform to a small inlet or river the Skill team realise the specific requirements and inherent safety risks concerning working around or over water.
Our operatives carry the CP1 confined space qualification and are fully versed with working in the confined spaces usually associated with Utilities working.
All the above services have a design service available. Full `C` form for Network rail projects and CDS for London underground projects are also available. Each design is backed up with a category 2 checked set of calculations. Category 3 checks on request.
Skill Scaffolding also offer a 24 hour emergency service to our existing customers to give them the added relief that the Skill Management Team are at hand to deal with any emergency access problems which may arise.


text:
- 6" Sq. White card blank
- Fab Saturated Canary Digi 'Love Letter' from Krista's Etsy shop, coloured with FlexMarkers, ProMarkers and Fine Nibs (photo included below to save energy!! FMs- Ice Grey 1, Soft Aqua and Copics- Blender and Warm Grey 1)
- My own design digi paper
- Core'dinations cardstock- red from the vintage selection, grey an All-in-the-Family pack
- My own design embossing mask and cut files for the heart circle and lacy rectangle, created in my graphics program and cut on my Cricut
- Sanding block for cardstock
- Black Fineliner and Sakura Clear Stardust pen
- Red gems
Tuesday, 7 February 2012
My first Saturated Canary image... and more Valentine's over at Dream Valley!! :)
20 comments:
- Sandra said...
So beautiful is this image and l love the colouring and layout too!:) Sandra H
- Tuesday, 7 February 2012 at 16:36:00 GMT
- Robin said...
Love your fab layout and great colouring.... what a cool image!!
- Tuesday, 7 February 2012 at 19:09:00 GMT
- Pink Dandelion said...
Smashing card Rachel. Love the colours and you are right about the hearts they balance it out perfectly. Debs xx
- Tuesday, 7 February 2012 at 19:33:00 GMT
- NGCARDS said...
Great creation hun! Thanks for playing over at Joanna Sheen & PTW! xxx
- Tuesday, 7 February 2012 at 19:48:00 GMT
- Carole of Brum said...
Hi Rachel, I love the similarities between the 2 cards, the design elements you used are worth repeating. Now, how do you think you messed up with the hair? I saw it and thought it looked great, like the light catching it in different places.
Sorry you've had a bad week, petal, I hope things improve. Hugs, CoB.
- Tuesday, 7 February 2012 at 20:38:00 GMT
Hi Rachel, hope you are well. How on earth have I missed so many of your posts and gorgeous makes?! I check my blog updates almost everyday and this is the first one of yours I have seen for ages. So many lovely posts and I missed them :(
- Tuesday, 7 February 2012 at 21:42:00 GMT
- coops said...
so gorgeous rachel.i love your fab colours and design and the sc image is stunning ;D
xx coops xx
- Wednesday, 8 February 2012 at 10:26:00 GMT
- Angie said...
Sweet card love the image and sketched feel, fab colours. Thanks for joining us at Papertake weekly.
Angie x
- Wednesday, 8 February 2012 at 10:43:00 GMT
- Feebsy said...
Rachel why do you say your colouring is a mess? I think she looks great and the hair looks realistic to me. Love the sketchy border with gems and the layout is great. All the elements you've created are brilliant too, you've got real talent.
I hope that you're feeling much better very soon.
- Wednesday, 8 February 2012 at 15:08:00 GMT
- Francesca said...
Absolutely beautiful
Thanks for joining us at One stop craft challenge this week and good luck!
- Thursday, 9 February 2012 at 11:06:00 GMT
- Natali said...
Wow!! I didnt expect Red, White and Grey can look so fantastic!!! Beautiful cards. Love "hearts everywhere around". Doodles are amazing.
Thank you for joining us at Sweet Stampin` "The One I Love" Challenge and we hope to see you again soon.
- Thursday, 9 February 2012 at 13:36:00 GMT
- MagsB said...
Oh how chic and elegant! Beautiful!
love Mags B x
- Thursday, 9 February 2012 at 16:03:00 GMT
- Janette said...
Hi Rachel, Now I think this is a really fab creation and I love the hair, it looks all fab and funky to me...xx
- Thursday, 9 February 2012 at 21:20:00 GMT
- Debs said...
gorgeous hon..and careful those images are addictive :0)...hugs Debs x
- Thursday, 9 February 2012 at 22:56:00 GMT
- sparklingblackrose said...
Absolutely gorgeous Rachel, love it :-) Elaine-xxx-
- Friday, 10 February 2012 at 19:31:00 GMT
- Patricia St Martin said...
Wonderful card. Thank for joining us at Cards for Men. Great job sticking to the theme. I love seeing your creation.
Hugs, Patricia
- Sunday, 12 February 2012 at 18:19:00 GMT
- Jenny said...
Looooove this image and your layout too. Thanks so much for joining us at Sweet Stampin.
- Wednesday, 15 February 2012 at 08:44:00 GMT
- Melly said...
Ohhh honey this is just beautiful! Couldn't believe it was your first SC image tho, you'll be buying all them now heee!
It is such a stunning wee card and I love it all!
hope your keeping well?
Hugs M xxx
- Wednesday, 15 February 2012 at 14:47:00 GMT
- Diane J said...
BEautiful card Rachel, the image is gorgeous, lovely colouring. Love Diane xx
- Saturday, 18 February 2012 at 02:21:00 GMT
- xxxtglxxx said...
Oh these look super-stylish! :) Your Saturated Canary image is just so elegantly coloured. Great colour combo and design Rachel :)
- Saturday, 25 February 2012 at 23:33:00 GMT


text:
Click here to play Tribes Ascend!
Which idiot coded this limitation into their system?
Has she ever seen a phone book outside her own village?
I hope they fix this as soon as possible. (Sent a bug report two days ago.)
I'm not buying the game if it doesn't let me.
Bad error message:
"Phone number must be 10 digits. Only numbers spaces -,(.)+ are allowed."
A better message would be:
"Phone numbers must be 7-12 digits long. Numbers, spaces, and some special characters: -,(.)+ are allowed."
Why do they allow all those special punctuation when the user is limited to 10 digits anyway? If I was to decorate my phone number it would be 25 characters long, not 10:
+ __ / __ - ___ - __ - __
And even in the most compact form it takes 12 characters: +___________
Click here to play Tribes Ascend!


text:
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