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Shimla Tourism|Hotels in Shimla|Shimla Map
About Shimla:
Shimla, formerly known as Simla, is the capital city of Himachal Pradesh. In 1864, Shimla was declared the summer capital of the British Raj in India. A popular tourist destination, Shimla is often referred to as the "Queen of Hills," a term coined by the British. Located in the north-west Himalayas at an average altitude of 2,205 metres (7,234 ft), the city of Shimla, draped in forests of pine, rhododendron, and oak, experiences pleasant summers and cold, snowy winters. The city is famous for its buildings styled in tudorbethan and neo-gothic architecture dating from the colonial era. Shimla is connected to the city of Kalka by one of the longest narrow gauge railway routes still operating in India,the Kalka-Shimla Railway.Shimla is approximately 115 km (71.4 miles) from Chandigarh, the nearest major city, and 365 km (226.8 miles) from New Delhi, the national capital. The city is named after the goddess Shyamala Devi, an incarnation of the Hindu Goddess Kali.
History of Shimla:
Shimla was annexed by the British in 1819 after the Gurkha War. At that time it was known for the temple of Hindu Goddess Shyamala Devi. The Scottish civil servant Charles Pratt Kennedy built the first British summer home in the town in 1822.
Lord Amherst, the Governor-General of Bengal from 1823 to 1828, set up a summer camp here in 1827, when there was only one cottage in the town, and only 'half a dozen' when he left that year. There were more than a hundred within ten years.
Shimla, or Simla as it was called until recently, caught the eye of Lord William Bentinck, the Governor-General of Bengal from 1828 (later of India, when the title was created in 1833) to 1835. In a letter to Colonel Churchill in 1832 he wrote Simla is only four days march from Loodianah (Ludhiana), is easy of access, and proves a very agreeable refuge from the burning plains of Hindoostaun (Hindustan).
One of his successors, Sir John Lawrence, Viceroy of India 1864–1869, decided to take the trouble of moving the administration twice a year between Calcutta and a separate centre over 1,000 miles away, despite the fact that it was difficult to reach.Lord Lytton, Viceroy 1876 -1880 made efforts to plan the town from 1876, when he first stayed in a rented house, but began plans for a Viceregal Lodge, later built on Observatory Hill. A fire cleared much of the area where the native Indian population lived (the "Upper Bazaar"), and the planning of the eastern end to become the centre of the European town forced these to live in the Middle and Lower Bazaars on the lower terraces descending the steep slopes from the Ridge. The Upper Bazaar was cleared for a Town Hall, with many facilities such as library and theatre, as well as offices - for police and military volunteers as well as municipal administration.
Indo-Gangetic plain. The presence of many bachelors and unattached men, as well as the many women passing the hot weather there, gave Simla a reputation for adultery, and at least gossip about adultery: as Rudyard Kipling said in a letter cited by Allen, it had a reputation for "frivolity, gossip and intrigue".
Pre-independence structures still dot Shimla; buildings such as the Viceregal Lodge, Auckland House, Gorton Castle, Peterhoff house, and Gaiety Theatre are reminders of British rule in India.British Simla extended about a mile and a half along the ridge between Jakhoo Hill and Prospect Hill. The central spine was The Mall, which ran along the length of the ridge, with a Mall Extension southwards, closed to all carriages except those of the Viceroy and his wife.
Geography of Shimla:
Shimla is located in the north-western ranges of the Himalayas. At an average altitude of 2397.59 meters (7866.10 ft) above mean sea level,the city is spread on a ridge and its seven spurs. The city stretches nearly 9.2 km from east to west.The highest point in Shimla, at 2454 meters (8051 ft), is the Jakhoo hill. Shimla is a Zone IV (High Damage Risk Zone) per the Earthquake hazard zoning of India. Weak construction techniques and increasing population pose a serious threat to the already earthquake prone region. There are no bodies of water near the main city and the closest river, Sutlej, is about 21 km (13 miles) away.[14] Other rivers that flow through the Shimla district, although further from the city, are Giri, and Pabbar (both are tributaries of Yamuna). The green belt in Shimla planning area is spread over 414 hectares (1023 acres). The main forests in and around the city are that of pine, deodar, oak and rhododendron. Environmental degradation due to the increasing number of tourists every year without the infrastructure to support them has resulted in Shimla losing its popular appeal as an ecotourism spot.Another rising concern in the region are the frequent number of landslides that often take place after heavy rains.
Climate of Shimla:
Shimla in general has a mild highland climate, with temperatures in peak winters, falling below 0°C
Shimla features a subtropical highland climate under the Koppen climate classification. The climate in Shimla is predominantly cool during winters, and moderately warm during summers. The temperatures range from -4 °C (24.8 °F) to 31 °C (87.8 °F) over the year.The average temperature during summer is between 19 °C and 28 °C, and between -1 °C and 10 °C in winter. Monthly precipitation varies between 24 mm in November to 415 mm in July. It is typically around 45 mm per month during winter and spring and around 115 mm in June as the monsoon approaches. The average total annual precipitation is 1520 mm (62 inches). Snowfall in the region, which historically has taken place in the month of December, has lately (over the last fifteen years) been happening in January or early February every year.
Weather in Shimla:
The climate of Shimla is enjoyable all the year round. Winters (December to February) are ideal for enjoying snowfall, skiing and ice skating. Average temperature during winter is 8°C and can dip as low as -7°C. Summers (March to June) are the suitable time to enjoy the scenic beauty. Temperature ranges between 15°C to 30°C and is ideal for indulging in paragliding, trekking, camping and rafting. Monsoons (July to September) are not the best time to visit as excessive rain can result in land slides.
Economy of Shimla:
Employment is largely driven by the government and tourism. Being the dministrative capital of the state of Himachal Pradesh, the city houses several central and state government offices. Government jobs account for almost half (47%) of the working population. Direct hospitality industry personnel such as tour guides, hotel and restaurant employees, etc., are few (10%). Individual crafts and small scale industries, such as tourist souvenir production and horticultural produce processing, comprise most of the remainder.
In addition to being the local hub of transportation and trade, Shimla is the area's healthcare centre, hosting a medical college and four major hospitals:the Indira Gandhi Hospital (formerly known as Snowdown Hospital,) Deen Dayal Upadhyay Hospital (formerly called Ripon Hospital,) Kamala Nehru Hospital, and Indus Hospital. The city's development plan aims make Shimla an attractive health tourism spot.
Culture of Shimla:
Shimla Transport:
Local transport in Shimla is by bus or private vehicles. Buses ply frequently on the circular road surrounding the city centre. Tourist taxis are also an option for out of town trips. Locals typically traverse the city on foot. Private vehicles are prohibited on the mall, ridge, and nearby markets. Due to narrow roads and steep slopes, the auto rickshaws common in other Indian cities are largely absent.
Shimla is well-connected by road and rail. The National Highway 22 (NH 22) connects Shimla to the nearest big city of Chandigarh. The scenic Kalka Shimla Railway, a narrow gauge track, is listed in the Guinness Book of Records for the steepest rise in altitude in a distance of 96 km.Kalka, the plains rail terminus, has daily departures to major Indian cities. Flights from the airport at Jubbarhatti (12 km away) connect Shimla to Delhi.
Shimla Sightseeing:
The Mall is the main shopping street of Shimla. It also has many restaurants, clubs, banks, bars, Post Offices and tourist offices. The Gaiety Theatre is also situated there. People walk up and down the Mall slowly, stopping to gossip, as it is the main meeting place for everyone. The Ridge and Scandal point are the two main meeting points at the Mall. The mall is dotted with many eating places .The most famous among them is Trishul bakery which is known for its pastries.
Christ Church: Situated on the Ridge, Christ Church is the second oldest church in Northern India. It has a very majestic appearance and inside there are stained glass windows which represent faith, hope, charity, fortitude, patience and humility. Christ Church is a place all visitors should spend some time in.
Jakhu Hill:
2 km from Shimla, at a height of 8000 ft, Jakhu Hill is the highest peak and offers a beautiful view of the town and of the snow-covered Himalayas. At the top of the Hill, is an old temple of Lord Hanuman, which is also the home of countless playful monkeys waiting to be fed by all visitors.
Shimla State Museum:
The Museum, which was opened in 1974, has tried to protect hill-out and the cultural wealth of the state. There is a collection of miniature Pahari paintings, sculptures, bronzes wood-carvings and also costumes, textiles and jewellery of the region.
This institute is housed in the Viceregal Lodge, built in 1884-88.
Situated at a distance of 5 km from the Ridge is the lovely township of Summer Hill at a height of 6,500 ft on the Shimla-Kalka railway line. Mahatma Gandhi lived in these quiet surroundings during his visits to Shimla. Himachal Pradesh University is situated here.
Developed as the playground of Shimla, Annandale is 2–4 km from the Ridge at a height of 6,117 ft. It is a favourite spot for cricket, picnics and polo.
Tara Devi:
11 km from the Shimla bus-stand. Tara Devi hill has a temple dedicated to the goddess of stars on top of the hill. There is a military Dairy Town here as well as the headquarters of Bharat Scouts and Guides.
Sankat Mochan:
A Lord Hanuman temple is located here.
Kufri is a tiny hill station in Shimla district of Himachal Pradesh state in India. It is located 13 km from the state capital Shimla on the National Highway No.22.
The name Kufri is derived from the work "Kufr" meaning a lake in the local language.
The highest point in the surrounding region, Kufri has a Himalayan Wild Life Zoo which hosts rare Antelopes, Felines and Birds including Himalayan Monal, the state bird of Himachal Pradesh. During winter a meandering path through the potato plantations turns into a popular Ski track.
Best time to visti Shimla:
The best time to visit is between April to mid-July and mid-September to the end of October, which is the peak season. It is prudent to avoid the monsoon months, from mid-July to mid-September, when the rains make the roads slippery.
How to Reach Shimla:
By Air:
The nearest airport is the recently constructed airport at 'Jubber Bhatti', located 28 km from the main city center. Regular flights of Indian Airlines, Archan and Jagsons connect it to other places like Delhi, Chandigarh, Kullu and Dharamshala. Tourists traveling to Shimla by air need to disembark at the Jubber Bhatti airport and board a bus/taxi to reach Shimla.
The most convenient railhead is located at Kalka, 96 km from Shimla.Kalka is connected to various important places by broad gauge railways. However, from Kalka a narrow gauge toy train chugs uphill towards Shimla. This miniature train takes around 6 hr to reach Shimla from Kalka and offers some breathtaking views during the journey.
By Road:
Shimla is easily accessible from all the other regions in and around Himachal Pradesh through a good network of motorable roads. It is well-connected by the National Highway No22 to places like Delhi, Chandigarh and Mandi. Different types of land transport, from public buses to deluxe cars are available for tourists traveling to Shimla.
Hotels in Shimla:
- Brightland Hotel
- Camp Potters Hill
- Gulmarg Hotel
- Hotel Crystal Palace
- Hotel Dalziel
- Hotel De Park
- Hotel Harsha
- Hotel Himland East
- Hotel Himland West
- Hotel Sangeet
- Hotel Shiwalik Regency
- Hotel Victory
- Hotel Moon International
- Sukh Sagar Resort
- Hotel Ashiana Regency
- East Bourne Resort
- Baljees Regency
- Hotel Combermere
- Fair Mount Shimla
- Himani's Premium Shimla
- Honeymoon Inn
- Shingar Hotel
- Surya Hotel
- Hotel Willow Banks
- The Destination Resort
- Hotel Leela Regency
- Hotel Asia The Dawn
- Hotel Pineview
- Hotel Quality Inn Himdev
- Radisson Shimla
- Shilon Resort
- Hotel Wildflower Hall


text: Last Tuesday a cross-over car accident on Plank Road in DeKalb caused serious injuries to a Huntley man. The man was traveling west when a minivan traveling east crossed over the center line and hit him head on. He had to be extricated from his vehicle by rescue squads and was taken to Kishwaukee Hospital and then airlifted to Rockford. Authorities suspect that the driver of the minivan was distracted by her four year old daughter who was riding in the backseat of the minivan.The most common form of distracted driving is cell phone usage. However, other distractions inside the car such as children or other passengers can lead to a serious car accident. Accidents such as this serve as a graphic reminder to keep your attention focused on the road.

subset: commoncrawl


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text: For a couple of years Near Field Communications (NFC) has been pushed by Google and others as the next big thing for smartphones. There has been a lot said about the merits of consumer applications for NFC, including digital wallets and replacing some of Bluetooth. But what about applications in business—what role could NFC play there? Here at IFS we've been looking into just that.


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25 Years of the Seeley Lake Trailblazers!
SEELEY LAKE - Come one, come all to the Seeley Lake Trailblazers' 25th anniversary dinner! On Saturday, April 29, the 4-H club will be having a spaghetti dinner with salad, bread and a dessert auction, including Kelly Hoag's delicious pies, at the Seeley Lake Community Hall. Doors open at 6 p.m. – 9 p.m. There is no set fee but per-plate donations are very appreciated.
This party was made possible by Nichole Hahn, a long-standing member of the 4-H club. Hahn has been in 4-H for six years and says she plans to continue participating, as she finds her membership in 4-H to be very rewarding...
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"Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask where have I gone wrong? Then a voice says to me - This is going to take more than one night... In the Book of life, the answers aren't in the back."...Charlie Brown
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
"Coronary Connection..............."
3 comments:
Great post Mr. Jim.ReplyDelete
I was reminded of a note that my old bible study leader sent me a few months ago. He reminded and encouraged us to continue to "guard our hearts for they are the well spring of life."
Solomon knew that our hearts long for good, but our mind tries to blur the lines. This allows us to try to reason or use logic to justify out thoughts/ actions. The person with virtue is the one who can listen to the spirit guard their heart from the mind.Replies
Welcome to my world. Kevin! If you don't mind (and if what's going on in my mind actually evolves into my next post), that which you've said here fits right into my current thoughts. We have been commanded to love God with "all" of four different elements within our potential to surrender unto Him; yet few of us seldom pause to consider them in any real depth.....Delete
Hope everyone there has a great Spring Break. Beth and I have no plans, but anymore it's always Spring Break. Not really. The last two days I subbed for the English teacher. They're using me now fairly frequently and I volunteer tutor lower level children two days a week. Slept in this morning for some reason, though, and didn't rise until about a half hour ago....
Looking forward to reading it, we are sure ready for the break.ReplyDelete


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As many of you know I committed to cutting my hair and donating it to Locks of Love earlier in this post. The journey was incredible and the experience fantastic. Currently I am struggling through some health issues that we have chosen not to share on Rerouted Journey (the choice to cut my hair early and lack of coverage
Since leaving college I've found myself perpetually broke. "Broke" not in the sense that I can't afford ramen noodles, but "broke" in the sense that I can't go out sometimes, order indulgent magazine subscriptions and afford The Melting Pot or The Signature Lounge on the 96th floor of the John Hancock building in Chicago. To be


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I got HPV with no warts.It was so slight their was nothing to treat it.Then I got a Hysterectomy 2 years later a removal of my uterus and cervix.Does this mean I do not have HPV since it was on my cervix at the time?Do I need pap-smear anymore?
If you didn't have genital wart outbreaks for at least two years there is a 90% chance the virus completely cleared the body. Getting a hysterectomy d... For detail, click here


text:
sLiMebALL driVeBye
Raised in a small town where guys and gals
tossed they're private parts around
like a hot potato
when the music stopped
everybody got TWAT
hop scotch to the crotch shot
rock the shot spot
toss the cumquat to your crew
what you gonna do
with the cockatoo round your neck like a necklace
girls boys check this one off your check list
been done did that miss match maker
make me a wish find me a find
I wanna find a real deep-dish
bass with a bass line
take my no matter which state of mind I'm in
slime ball wheels grindin'
stealing kisses from the concrete
walkin' like a zombie to a bomb beat
bombin' hills built to spill
what's your hobbie
drama abercrombie's
bitch pays the big bucks
what's up with the real chucks
dvs kicks it with finesse on my indie trucks
like a monster with Frankenstein posture off 64th and foster.
"I've got the mic in the right and the beer in the left
Bad breath in the mouth and the south in the step
I've got the mic in the right and the beer in the left
Bad breath in the mouth and the south in the step"
Cats with their felonies
portland with the melodies
pabst blue ribbon be give my belly be
stuffed from the carbohydrates irate
my date and I migrated from the east to the
west-side northwest of the southeast
to the southeast of the northwest
on a quest for change some people think I'm strange
for leaving gainesville caught in the scene
I mean I need a pain pill
down with the indo up with the window
top notch hot box pop rocks bimbos
in the closet with the fat deposit
corset on my foreheaded forehead I'm a hobbit
get around like frodo oh no
goin on tour through you town with a go go
dancer named shaqueeta hot like a heater
chicken headed clown with a pound of reefer
bumbin to the sound of the boom box speaker
peter you know you wanna meet her
"I've got the mic in the right and the beer in the left
Bad breath in the mouth and the south in the step
I've got the mic in the right and the beer in the left
Bad breath in the mouth and the south in the step"
I come from the land of coochie
oooh she's wearing daisy-dukes she's a hoochie
tanning bed groopie don't sue me miss beauty
gob your eyes with dies and guys slide you roofies
I'm a goofy foot
on my way to West-Lynn best when dryness
soakin' up my eyelids excited brightness
beaming through the skies highness
slashes sounding like crashes and violence
old school stylist
cutting up the creet like a beat
cut up by a deejay
we stay in the deep end
creeping faster than the freeway
pumpin' corners everyday
"I've got the mic in the right and the beer in the left
Bad breath in the mouth and the south in the step
I've got the mic in the right and the beer in the left
Bad breath in the mouth and the south in the step"
BeRtha Vs. UrsuLa
Anger I said I'm danger
I'd like to hang your platta-pussy on a hanger
And watch it dangle until it strangles
Your point of view from each and every different angle
Your tongue is tangled all mingled mangled
I tied it like a bracelet tight around your ankle
No circulation left an abrasion
Sage plus sage equals a rage n equation
Go throw some dishes she's fuckin' vicious
Takes built up anger out on others when she wishes
For satisfaction a slight reaction
leaves her a borne again bitch straight laxen
From all her bitchin' I started twitching
Shitin' shaten yapity yapen and spittin'
Woke up a monster hauled off and punched her
I put her in a place that straight stumped her
"She needs a coffee cigarette 10 hours of sleep some weed and yet
She's still a monster in disguise there's no surprise to me I bet
She'll try to bring me to her level
Oh so low it can't be treble
She's a heavy metal devil shittin' bricks and throwin' pebbles"
M e l o d – to the suck these
And while you're on your knees
Clean your platta-pussy
Cause it smells funk
All up in you punk bitch
Funk that I won't funk with
Smellin' not so scrumptious is
This house smells like the devil turned it out
Ass to mouth, mouth to ass matter fact it smell like crap
hanky couldn't handle that
Permeating through the walls
I'd rather smell the balls of bats
Liven like white trash
Maggots on my eyelash
Roaches on my eyeglass
They wanna bypass
get out run for your life
I'd like to see you as a wife
Mrs. rainbow not so bright
Clean you stench our fuckin' fight
"She needs a coffee cigarette 10 hours of sleep some weed and yet
She's still a monster in disguise there's no surprise to me I bet
She'll try to bring me to her level
Oh so low it can't be treble
She's a heavy metal devil shittin' bricks and throwin' pebbles"
Go cry to mommy bout your issues
Wipe those tears with beers and tissues
Misuse time with petty nonsense and
I'll smack sense in your conscious
Wastin' space up in my kitchen betty crocker keep on wishin'
Cause the only thing I'm dishin' to the outhouse is your bitchin'
My bitchin' my bitchin' is not my disposition
But I found ants on the stove top in the dinosaur position
Eatin' the cake you left out late last night
Lickin' icing off each others toes despite
Me and my essential need to be tidy
Neat straight sparkling
you need a man like mr. clean
he'll do your dishes he's a dream
he'll do them till he's blistering
but until then you deal you with me
s a g e me so bubbly and pissed
go to hell you've been dismissed
you dirty bitch clean your mouth so you can kiss
my ass porno-mags and the rags and the flab
of the hags and the shwag in your bag what a drag
zip your lips and be glad coochie snag having
dank ass douche bag you even made my pooch mad
found your peas in my drain
Will you please, please explain
Why you think your sink is cleaner than mine
Its just the same
Leaving coffee grounds up on my counter stank shorts on my porch
I'd like to light your lifestyle up with my scorching torch
Settin' fire to desire of runnin' this house like an empire
You think your higher well go fuck an oscar-myer
Cause I'd hate to yank your string pull your stool or toot your twat
Appreciate the dust under your bust it's what you've got
"She needs a coffee cigarette 10 hours of sleep some weed and yet
She's still a monster in disguise
there's no surprise to me I bet
She'll try to bring me to her level
Oh so low it can't be treble
She's a heavy metal devil shittin' bricks and throwin' pebbles"
I like junk cause I'm punk
Delinquent to my body
Got the feeling for the flavor of the funk.
Cause I'm drunk I could hump sugar daddies in a caddy
with the thump in the rump lift the trunk
like a skunk for a chunk of the scrumptious
bunches of munches sun chips and punches
punchin' your munchin'
hunchin' your crunchin' with munchkins in London
I don't know why but I'd die for a funion covered in grease
I at least need a piece of the tease on my knees
Beggin' you please!!!
Give me a bite of the hype or ill swipe
right from under your nose all your clothes
from your head to your toes like the pros on ho-hos
I can flows till you throws
candy at my feet
tappin' to sweets
I'm apart I'm a piece
I'm a handy candy rapper unwrappin' candies
"Slowly down the hatchet goes
no carrots corn or cabbage
She's a cotton candy queen
Growin' out her jeans
Slowly down the hatchet goes no carrots corn or cabbage
She's a cotton candy quEEn
And the junk makes her scREAM"
I go goNUTs for doughnuts
dorritos cheetos burritos taquitos
I could eat gazebos
deep fried see I got the taste for the tasty
my tongue has a mind of it's own and it makes me crave
i'm a slave to the craving for sweet
unique treats like shredded wheat's
and toaster stroodles I eat 'em with my poodle
when it's greasy i'm easy mickey-d he likes to tease me
I can order from a car in a bar
and it feeds me till I'm stuffed
Fuck puffed rice
Two bowls down scrounging for a pizza slice
Chowin' down on air doesn't compare
chicken pad-thai makes my nostrils flare
no I don't wanna share
this peanut butter cup baby cakes stuffin' my face
grubbin' what it takes to make me feel complete
general tao's spicy sauce is the sauce for me
with that MSG that doesn't like saucy
up your hole goes a whole head of broccoli
don't panic if it's not organic
manic hammock full of prunes keep your gas to yourself
and relax with a moon pie
I will eat junk food till I die
cause my taste buds wanna live life
dancin' on my tongue like I'm hung hi
Ho it's off to the pantry we go
with twix and pixi sticks on the brain
If I had it my way I'd be a candy cane
"Slowly down the hatchet
goes no carrots corn or cabbage
She's a cotton candy queen
Growin' out her jeans
Slowly down the hatchet goes no carrots corn or cabbage
She's a cotton candy quEEn
And the junk makes her scREAM"
My teeth black like licorice
zits have a itty bitty clitoris
envision myself as ridiculous
comical on candy bubble yum mandy
found gum in her bum and it was kinda sandy
I'll chitchat with a kit-kat if ya get back
I'm gonna hit that cat up for a snick snack snicker
Steal the malt out your liquor my hips are hipper
The more I eat my figure
matters less won't impress with my body weight or breast
Just my mind sole and rhyme and the time I invest
Into stuffing my face full of shit
I mean yesterday I even gave the toilet a lick.
Alternate ending……
*Into stuffing my mouth full of fat
Try this at home and have a heart attack.*
"Slowly down the hatchet
goes no carrots corn or cabbage
She's a cotton candy queen
Growin' out her jeans
Slowly down the hatchet goes no carrots corn or cabbage
She's a cotton candy quEEn
And the junk makes her scREAM"
WHitE liEs
Took a drug test at a hospital
Peed out some weed that's impossible
I only smoked the dope on Halloween
Got a new job gotta keep my myself clean
Cut what's up that just ain't my style
Old fogies told me dress you best and smile
Reeee I don't think so try again
Givin' in to the man to buy a 10¢ pen
At the interview dressed to impress
Why do we lie to buy success?
This concept sucks like a chemistry class
Ya want to get hired conform bitch-ass
I'm a strong believer of the truth
If you don't believe me ask my tooth
Lost it on a sub from the grocery store
Money in my pocket but I'm a cheap whore
Stuck it in my jacket got it home and took a bite
Lost my front tooth with my appetite
Instant karma kicked me in the shitter
Balled up poop and some sticky kitty litter
If you agree repeat after me
Shove it up your snatch with a daiquiri
I asked this girl how she got her job
She said you gotta screw or slob the knob
Now I'm not the type of bitch down to kiss ass
But in order to buy beer you have to make the cash
I try to bite my tongue sometimes
But when it comes to truth I'm fighting crime
"I'm not who you wish I was you wish I was"
When I see servers smile I snatch it from their face
You'd have to be a mental case to be happy in that place
At work I go bizerk and try not to use my mouth
But when it gets dirty we all know I'm from the south
I bet your curious how I lost my last job
lied to get hired told the truth and got robbed
I guess this is another one of karmas little games
now I'm unemployed and theirs trauma to my brain
This situation is a little different from the rest
To landed the job by adding tissue paper to my breast
I also wore eyeliner and an absurd amount of blush
To cover up the pimples the wrinkles the crust
High heels make me tall I just lost ten pounds
Now the legs are long enough to spread a mountain
Go around
So why do you say you want to hire me today
I talk back act wack slack and jack snacks 6 packs
And laugh at ass cracks and flashbacks
drink stacks of fat flasks
And come to work smashed
So show me the door we're not hiring anymore
We don't want your kind selling wine in out store
"I'm not who you wish I was you wish I was"
Tisk-tisk-tisk what a risk I'm a product selling shit
Marketing myself as the perfect little fit
Well I'm not it's a lie if I don't eat I'll die
And that's the only reason I ever even apply
I don't give a dam about your bullshit franchise
Besides I got hired cause I told white lies.
When I grow old I'm gonna buy you out
Start my own restaurant called a foot in your mouth
And then when I'm ready I'll post an add
And hire your daughter just to make you mad
Jenny your not smiling that's a big mistake
It's too bad that your dad taught me how to be fake
Oh what's this you say you've had a bad day
Well mama should of taught you don't talk back ok
This isn't working out here's your last paycheck
Jenny you weren't smiling what the fuck do you expect
Die bitch die
Your goin' down now
"I'm not who you wish I was you wish I was"
Garbage Pail Kid
Yeah so I'm melodically saucy
I like to frolic in the chronic with my posse
Don't wear make up so my lips are never glossy
And If I do I apply it on sloppy
Everything I own is from a garage sale
When I was a kid I played the drums
on a garbage pale
Cause I was a garbage pale kid
always bidding for something better
with my friend double heather
she had two mouths two heads
and ate more cheddar
than pourin' lauren poured martinis for leaky lindsey
always in a frenzy playing in her snot
getting' caught by peg-leg peter on his teeter
not without my totter cause he'll slaughter
like tongue-tied tim i've got a whim
that his tongue is lethal when the lights go dim
his tongue is longer than the nile wrapped around vile kyle
drinking bile with disgustin' justin' it makes them smile
but gives me a chill foul phil
your breath be stank what's the deal
your all mixed up mitch
half your body's got a twitch
and it looks like you've been ran over
yo jo-blow peepin' tom's creepin' through overflow's window
he needs to use the potty scotty
ate a hot tamale and couldn't stop the flow yo
uh hu uh hu
yeah all we really want is
uh hu uh hu uhh yeaaaaah
garbage un hu uh hu
yeah I'm a fuckin' piece of garbage
uh hu uh hu ooh yeaaaaah"
hey ray decay where'd your teeth go
I found um on a candy cane in the streets so
You better stop eating sweets fore your dead ted
He 's a zombie with 28 days left
Bust a nut bob fry me fryin' brian
hairy mary's scary carrie I ain't lying
heaven steven grew up threw up and started crying
atom bombs head blew off he couldn't stop dieing
so nervous rex sexed leaky lou
there was six holes in her body
he didn't know what to do
so he screwed every hole and left his soul to bony joany
then gave fat mat an enema because he was her homie
tony flippin' phony don't belong
ding dong in this sing along songyour a ching-chang-chong
gone like buds in a bong tony full of baloney see
I'm garbage pale kid when I get saucy
with my posse
Gotta foul mouth I can get loud
loud enough to make your
mama's mama bend down
In Bahamas now
On a cruse with the one's and two's
Getting loose like my cooch with boozing bruce
On the mic I just might bust a backbend
and show the pubes tonight
That's right but I won't go to jail
So they're throwing me back in the garbage pail
uh hu uh hu
yeah all we really want is
uh hu uh hu uhh yeaaaaah
garbage un hu uh hu
yeah I'm a fuckin' piece of garbage
uh hu uh hu ooh yeaaaaah"
what's up chuck don't give a fuck about a buck
he robbed bob blow job for a snob of a slut
ya better ask somebody
before you slain wayne bring the pain
check the mange on his body
besides stir fried clide he's looking haggy maggy
nappy dread head fred's got no cred and he's happy
a garbage pale kid not a golden gram
ask him who he is he'll tell ya
I am
saucyyoda got the A.D.D.
your sloppy vagina can't phase me
tits and ass think fast I'm nasty
besides the rhyme I'm an absentee
s –A- u -C- y –Y- o- D -a
sarcastic slapstick bitch wit no kick flip blast it
mother-fuckers wanna test my skill crap-tastic
wanna kill bill well ya will get wrestled
dazzled by screwballs
i'm too tall for rue paul could fool ya'll
I'm a bull-shitter
black belt in kung-pao
hung like a one titter.
no glitter glamour gleam
shitty tight pants seem like they rip
on the mic entice me if you like
don't bite my doo pile
I'll work here while
write ups overload in my work place file
always absent minded big behind-ed
my minds on my mind but I still can't find it
cause I'm thinking of a master plan
a garbage pale kid with no attention span
top of the dome 20" chrome a golden child
no chicken off the bone
when I'm alone I'm always in the zone
ET mother-fucker not gonna phone home
uh hu uh hu
yeah all we really want is
uh hu uh hu uhh yeaaaaah
garbage un hu uh hu
yeah I'm a fuckin' piece of garbage
uh hu uh hu ooh yeaaaaah"
OnE Legg-ED JeSsE
"Go to schoolGet a job
Work your way up to the top
Any more suggestions for me
Milk-milk lemonade
Round the corner goes my grade
A + for DoubleDutch
Little did you know that the angles cuss?
And devils primp
Do you believe in minuses?
Your highness is one the finest vaginas
make me blush
I have a crush on an f plus so what I suck at certain stuff
To be specific book smart makes me fart
I'd rather push a shopping cart
Full of junk one leg-ed jesse got me drunk for my first time
I saw the sign the sign says
Stay away fool school turns you into to a tool
I'm like a b-52 you know my love shack includes
Use gemini's cause I'm to broke for techniques
I'm gonna stroke my fifteens I streak and hope someone's here
To sing some dope melodies smoke trees and scratch till I freeze
Up like a train record crate I take my time to meditate on mixes
Like rob swift I'm swift with swiftness
Not quite that tight
Monkey business
"Go to schoolGet a job
Work your way up to the top
Any more suggestions for me
Work-work make yourself wealth worth-worth
Something more than dirt-dirt
You suckers think I'm nothing cause I'm not your lying lawyer
Nurse doctor dentist I'm a minis to my employer
annoyer with a variety of beats and samples
knocking socks off mantels you can not handle cause
I'm gonna destroy your system like an animal listen my vision
Cuts with precision and splices life with musicians
Without the music folks well where the hell would we be
Living in pleasantville so unpleasantly
Go to school get a job tell your teach my names bob
School is great I love to learn I have a question
Wait your turn
In LMS I learn bout sex college brought me no success
All the time that I invest should be for me not to impress
Feel the beat write the rhyme I tell my parents from time to time
School just doesn't do it for me matter fact the teacher's boring
Sip your coffee hug your chalk I'd learn better on my own clock
In class I'd sit back and doodle blocking contact to my noodle
Then when I re-turned home I taught myself bout microphones
I think it's as plain as can't you see I mean my name is melodie.
Angel Wieners
Stop- My style's stickier than snot
Put your hand up on the mic and you might get shocked
Cause I'll shock ya
Sharp like the blade of helicopter
Turn over in your grave and tell me I'm a smooth talker
Smooth- When I flow I sooth
You'll be freakin' when start to do the moonwalk on your boobs
Be bouncin' I'll be bringing down the mountain
Flowin' like wianer of an angel in a fountain
Flowin'- if your g-string showing
I'll snap it soooo hard your red rosie cheeks are glowin'
Ho-in'- on the avenue your blowin'
Need a dump truck cause your dumbstruck
with the ass you've been towin'
Behind- wanna battle better rewind
My styles so raw it shrank your bra to say a 3 times
Oooooh- now you don't know what to do
stuck with mother hubbard in the cupboard of my shoe.
"lift your skirt flash your mom
she ain't got no panties on
hide your cobwebs close those legs
tiny spiders in your head"
Freeze- my styles greasier than chucky-cheese
If your feeling saucyyoda then you might feel fleas
Cause i'll bite you or someone else that's right beside you
Invite you to my house and bite your blouse just to fight you
War- What this country's livin' for
Testosterone moanin' bonin' over who's hardcore
Hardcore- I'd rather be livin' in cardboard
Than see what our president has in store
For this country's dumber than when humpty dumped me
Off the wall broke my fall egghead lumpy
Egghead- might as well be a dead head
Walkin' through the streets playin' footsy with a red head
ya meth-head your chillin' on your death bed
You'd take a hit but you don't have a breath left
Well neither do I Put the crack pipe down before you crack and die.
"lift your skirt flash your mom
she ain't got no panties on
hide your cobwebs close those legs
tiny spiders in your bed"
Break-my styles juicer than steak
Put your hand up on my sauce and I'll cause earthquakes
Cause I'll shake you take you to my backyard and make you
Rake up these leaves spreading peace on my debut
CD- all you suckers got a TV
Getting' sucked in the zones too fuckin' easy
Easy- doesn't take much to please me
A pen and a pad I can write something sleazy
Sleaze- fuck all these college degrees
Better learn what they want you to know
Or you'll be on your knees Beggin'
for a dollar of warmth from a leggin'
On the courner humpin' trees for kevin
to put a dollar in your jar
A dollar ain't even a trip to the bar
"lift your skirt flash your mom
she ain't got no panties on
hide your cobwebs close those legs
tiny spiders in your head"
RoTten oRangEs
I shot out a rebel
Like a fruity pebble out my nose
Always skippin' ballet cause I hated tights and bows
Oh ya know I shoot pool from in between my toes
It's the jam shake your man rip your panty hose
flows to the east flows to the west
flows to your cleavage even if ya have tiny breast
say nope to soap say yes to rejects
I've got sixteen mystery machines on a quest
Looking for my marbles but their lost
So I'm washin' your mouth out with porno flicks
to make you gargle and spit
Like a blitzed heifer
Asshole up and sphincter eyed
I've got the flow that makes you wetter
Than neffretiti wearin' no sweater
Believe its better hard as nards sicker than shredders
Tawana-kiss swivel rockin' knockin' you to bliss chicken shit
Shocking to you reminisce
of the time your girlfriend held your penis when you pissed
you are not the average girl"
I'll order sex on the t-rex at a cock bar
And if you refuse to serve my drink
I'll snap you with my training bra
Cause I can and I will and I want to
haunt you like the peek of a bad dream
who stole the peanut butter flavor out your ice cream
like a moose I lay tracks but with wax
I attack habitats got a fat fanny pack
it's so hard being a rebel cause rebels get smacked
At Christmas thanksgiving and Easter time
My mama smacked me in my rebellious mind
I never knew a holiday could be this dam divine
So I straddled the turkey and stuffed his behind
Full of hellion rebellion shit
I'm 2 midgets too quick
For the bitch I scissor kick
Mind of a ginger bread house cut with brick
I am the root beneath and we conflict
Like me and mom my dad my teachers and my boss
When your cookin' in the kitchen add the yoda to your sauce
Barbeque alfredo prego tomato and terriaki
microwave your rave and heat up your saki
kinda like a walky-talky
cutting up in class harassin' math teachers with broccoli
so sue me do me slap boobys if your full
of this place bumbin' bass I'm a heart pumpin' rebel
you are not the average girl"
I'll stick my face in a cake to see if its real
Then ask the workin' manager if I can make him a deal
I'll give you the fattest part of my ass and half an apple peel
and if that's not good enough I'm gonna make myself steal
lizzy's reece-piece out her lunch box
this year I got a measly stocking full of rocks
And lots of sticks and stones
Thrown at my body not breakin' my bones
Cause my buns are made of cheese
They shield me from the good and instigate the real
rebel inside of me
roll down window cause I gotta go pee
you are not the average girl"
Alternate ending…
Cause I think I'm a bad ass
Learned the hard way but not that fast
Now I'm 26yrs old going on twelve
In two more I'll be the first 10yr old in hell
LicKety split
"Just my Cherry go round
She's a Cheery go round
Watch her cherry go round
my my Cherry go round
oh no cherry go round
don't look down Cherry go round"
Oh one day she'll find the guy
missing link puzzle piece to her cherry pie
fly cherry your so very contrary
a marry little ho on the prairie like the house
there's a hole in her heart like the wall for a mouse
cherry's soul wants a dead beat alcoholic for her spouse
she feels empty longing something sweet
symmetrical chemistry
missing these last pieces to her pies
guys come and go like thunderstorms and
snow and jiggly asses of cheese
cherry flows like bumble bee honey in a cup of tea
spoon moving your cherry go round
round your head 360 degrees
mrs. Cock-block tease
not even Mr. Freeze could receive the keys to her fridge
as he hoisted her bridge where it's moist and cold
he found a 6 pack of hinnies and a crisper full of gold
"Just my Cherry go round
She's a Cheery go round
Watch her cherry go round
my my Cherry go round
oh no cherry go round
don't look down Cherry go round"
Now Shy girl cherry picks guys like a dingle-berry
Not too soft too hard too mushy or too hairy
cherry has an open mind when it comes to men
She looks deep inside to find the what's within
One day she found a man made of tin
With a heart full of sin and soul full of coal
He reached deep in her bin it was her heart that he stole
With a soul full of coal and a heart full of sin
Cherry knows now she has to look deep within
To find the right man not no klutz or chicken
Cherry wants it to begin with manic depression
expressions boners fries and sessions
Confessing how he's pissed
Real punks open up like a bottle of schlitz
If the hole in her heart heels from the dong between
Together they will cream
like two fucking donkeys in the spring
"Cherry a tree built could be bitter Berry
She's sweeter than sweet can be Contrary
She's Cherry so quite Contrary
pUbe sERvicE
Hi there fuck you
how are you two doing today?
my name is saucyyoda I will be your server so stay
right here
I'll be back with your coffee cream sugar spoon napkin
I need an aspirin to get through this contraption
robotical being team
we make it happen its not a dream
my fuckin' cream of the crop
I serve slop pop and two smoking twats on a tray
I'd be a curly pube if I had it my way
If I was a pube I'd be in the food on top of your plate
Stuck to your chin from the din-din
you ate in front of your date
The one you hate
and vise-versa did not mean to hurt your ego
Why don't we go to a place called the pube on my face is evil
How'd you like your taco hand fed through a burrito?
In your veins via needle pumpin' breakfast chorizos like ceelo
Come and get your soul food I told you
Mother-fuckers wanna hold you
responsible for there bad day didn't order this that way
take it back or say good by tip hello good ole shit min wage
"Coke sprite diet ice
Stabbed you in the lemon slice
Who are you to say what's right
Chop-chop-chop and then you die"
Chicken beans or beef answer now or lose your teeth
one by one what would you like honey bun besides a queef
past your neck gotta sec you forgot to bring the check
bag and box watch the wall before you wreck yourself to hell
if he rings the bell one more time
I'll climb the wall to sniff my own behind
I'm but naked do you mind
no I don't have time for this miss
the movie starts at six
and I gotta see billy-bob and silly-sue kiss
we want swiss cheese striptease the pube in your foods history
down the hatchet like the rabbit why you had it's a mystery
solved by the ones involved me and Mr. wizard see
our chemistry's energy can defeat you with symmetry
cause we don't give a flippin' toppling tippin' pop up in your
lap dance from my dog if you keep up this behavior
fuck you and your potater
I'm a can I get a refill
we kill whiners in diners like mr. t we give shiners to miners
so keep up with the rants raves chants save
cramps invade you in your grave
when you treat me like a slave
I'll beat you with my lave cut you off from what you crave
and weld you into something kids are humping in parades
"Coke sprite diet ice
Stabbed you in the lemon slice
Who are you to say what's right
Chop-chop-chop and then you die"
Coke sprite diet ice
margaritas my delight
eighteen hundred different types
cuervo gold lime slice
salt around the rim is right
salivatin' at the sight
quench your thirst or hurt your bite
this ones good but not quite
strong enough tough guy
shut your face and shut your eye
go to sleep and don't your cry
mama's here to tell you why
daddies not because he got on my last nerve
disturbed me till I served him this and that
who am I robo-cop
so you say you want some slop
I'll give it to you proper just for fun like cindy lopper
cause girls just wanna have fun
I'm not marry poppins bitch
I think outside the bun
so make it snappy place your order make me happy leave a quarter
contribution to the fusion of this robotic illusion
if your using me for service appreciate the time I take
or else the food is worthless
cause I placed a pube up in your steak.
"Coke sprite diet ice
Stabbed you in the lemon slice
Check your food before you bite
Chop-chop-chop and then you die"
My boyfriend's back and I'm gonna be fucked
How did he know I'm a fuckin' slut
What can I do to make it up to him
Oh yeah I know I'll just fuck all his friends
You know we're sluts
We could give 2fucks what you think about us
Some of us thin some are fatter than a bus
Like chris rock says ya gotta love the crust
We got muff that make you wanna knock dust
Off that p-u-s-s-y
I might be old but my folds still tight
Tight like your cooch were all hoochies of the night
After the drank we move on to the dong
Some like 'em fat short skinny some long
Some like 'em without a condom on
I like (clear throat) king-kong in a thong killer g-string
We sing willy-silly songs in the bedroom at are moms so
Come on come on come on
Aundrea, stephine, tracy, and tom
Ménage-a-twat at a quarter past twelve
Me shell my bell
He screwed you in a tutu and you better not tell
She cheated on Popeye with the farmer in the dell
Were sluts that's what we got to say for ourselves
"My boyfriend's back I'm gonna get fucked
How did he know I'm a fuckin' slut
What can I do to make it up to him
Oh yeah I know I'll just fuck all his friends"
Nobody knows but us that were sluts
Searchin' for the scrotum with the biggest fattest nuts
We hush and fuss and cuss till we bust
He wants it bad and she wants it rough
So who you gonna call to help you with hard-ons
Call us were sluts were given hard bargons
Pardon me but I think I misheard
We fuck 'em then leave 'em and treat them like dirt
Disturbed distraught discombobulated
I don't even know you we never even dated
We screwed too many dudes that our memory faded
Are you sure we dated?
"My boyfriend's back I'm gonna get fucked
How did he know I'm a fuckin' slut
What can I do to make it up to him
Oh yeah I know I'll just fuck all his friends"
Spread eagle in the back seat feet out the taxi
Were fuckin' sluts so what you were last week
Ask me what's our names and I'll shoot
Cunt Slut indie grab Whore Hooker Tooth
We'll do it in a phone booth we'll do it in a barn
Were doin' farmer in the del on old Mcdonald's farm
So what
You know were sluts
So what's the what's the what's the big fuss
You know you want to be like us we fuck stuff!!!!
Pantie FlosS
Sittin' on a stool with a beer in my hand
Usin' my blow up doll's leg for a mic stand
Tryin' to write with my right hand telling me
I don't know about you but I'm blocked
from my brain to my sock
Nuttin' shootin' though my vein to concoct
a solution to explain
no institution in the membrane
stuck like chuck in the muck of my luck
what the fuck this sucks but I'm never givin' up
Trapped from the rap like a rat in a cage
I don't know about you but I'm dazed and confused
I feel phased and abused by the passion
Writing is the only way for satisfaction
Action serves it's purpose
When the words jump from the surface
Commas comin' with the shirtless
Parentheses sentence be walkin' like an entity
Possessed with energy
What's your major malfunction I'm wonderin'
if I had an adjective this bass would be bumpin'
Chillin' in the land of oz with quad and munchkin
Eatin' dumplins dunkin' dounuts until somthin'
Caught my breath like a kiss of death by surprise
I grasped for air and all these butterflies
"Dadadadadadada dadada dadada"
Electricity shocks through my sock to the top of my tiptoe
It's way up the side of my thigh
to my hipbone connected to the pitch tone
Bass line fatter than your face tappin' to the pace sign
Shines finely rhyme vines crawlin' up my lifeline
Spine-binded by my sciatic nerve pinched me with epiphany
Tickely tackeled me jackin' me
up to the neck bone section of a chromosome
Stepping on an o-dome so and so flowin' to the shoulder flow
slow and low down the elbow
Lets go hell no inchin' to the wrist yo
It's the fingertip tiptoe
"Dadadadadadada dadada dadada"
Head shoulders knees toes
Picture me flows in pantyhose
City of roses and a pocket full of shit
Stuck in a rut suck this bitch
Put the finger up and showed the finger tip
Skip to the grip on your toe
Goin into spasms like an organism
got the gadget make you get it in a go go
Po po on my tip like a yo-yo no strings attached to the crack
and the head to the neck and the shoulders
to the backside front-side switch stance & ollie
ollie over obstacles popsickles and salvador dali while i'm at it
not a bad habit or a hobby
Sound waves appear as veins runnin' through my body.
"Dadadadadadada dadada dadada"
HelMet HeAd
Woke up on a lawn at half past eight
Sleeping with a forty and a record crate
I said
"oh know what did I do?"
With a tampon in my nose a new tattoo
Bike helmet on my head
Dog shit for a bed
Who knows what I said
Or did di did di did did di did di did
I try to collect my thoughts retrace my steps replace my loss
But the only thing I see is a big blank fuckin' memory
So what am I to do, can't find my car can't find my shoe
The Only thing I found was you.
"Blacked out
Woke from the dead with your ass out
What did you do when ya passed out?
Who the hell knows?
That's the way it goes
Who knows"
Wipe drool from your mouth
And look around there's no recollection to be found
Brain- brain it's all up in the brain
Last thing to my knowledge was the mary-jane
Bring it back bring it back 2 twelve packs and a jack ago
I was all about the practical as a matter of factual
I was only havin' 2 then I had to go
Uh oh and before I new
Can't find my car can't find my shoe
Now here I am ya see
With some guy lying next to me
wEll what do I do now
Do I wake him up do I leave without?
Ever knowing what I did
Da did di did di did did di did di did
"Blacked out
Woke from the dead with your ass out
What did you do when ya passed out?
Who the hell knows?
That's the way it goes
Who knows"
Woke up to a plate that's been erased
No feeling thought smell touch or taste
Looked down to find a trace
As everything falls into place
Last night I rode my bike
Downtown to common grounds
And the rest is history
Found a clue but the dudes still a mystery
"Blacked out
Woke from the dead with your ass out
What did you do when ya passed out?
Who the hell knows?
That's the way it goes
Who knows"


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text:
Based on the aggregated intelligence of 180,000-plus investors participating in Motley Fool CAPS, the Fool's free investing community, correctional and detention facilities operator Corrections Corporation of America
With that in mind, let's take a closer look at Corrections Corp.'s business and see what CAPS investors are saying about the stock right now.
Corrections Corp. facts
|Headquarters (founded)
|Nashville, Tenn. (1983)
|Market Cap
|$2.8 billion
|Security services
|Trailing-12-Month Revenue
|$1.7 billion
|CEO Damon Hininger (since 2009)
CFO Todd Mullenger (since 2007)
|Return on Equity (average, past 3 years)
|$55.8 million / $1.3 billion
Correctional Services
The GEO Group
Sources: S&P Capital IQ and Motley Fool CAPS.
On CAPS, 95% of the 354 members who have rated Corrections Corp. believe the stock will outperform the S&P 500 going forward.
One of those Fools, All-Star TMFDeej, tapped yesterday's decline as an attractive buy-in opportunity:
I am interested in the possible conversion of CXW into a REIT, spurred by several activist investors. The stock has surged a little more than I would have liked since this news came out, but I am going to add on [Tuesday's] pull-back.
If you want to retire rich, you need to put together the best portfolio you can. Owning exceptional stocks is a surefire way to secure your financial future. Of course, despite a strong four-star rating, Corrections Corp. may not be your top choice.
We've found another stock we are incredibly excited about -- excited enough to dub it "The Motley Fool's Top Stock for 2012." We have compiled a special free report for investors to uncover this stock today. The report is 100% free, but it won't be here forever, so click here to access it now.
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Fool contributor Brian Pacampara owns no position in any of the companies mentioned. Try any of our Foolish newsletter services free for 30 days.
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If a book is not alive in the writer's mind, it is as dead as year-old horse-shit.
~ Stephen King ~
Just stopping by to say hi. Visiting from the Post A-Z Road Trip - I'm on a quest to visit all 1,718 people who took part!
Best wishes and thanks for sharing.
Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn...
Hi Andy, thanks for stopping by. Good luck with making it through the A-Z blog hop.
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Saturday, May 1, 2010
Meet Cross' Critters: Part VI: Wartz
Toads and frogs may seem alike, but don't tell Wartz that. Wartz prides himself on his toady features. Unlike the bulgy-eyed, long hind-footed, and slimy skinned frog who resorts to "childish hopping" (his words), Wartz has a powerfully stout body, dry skin, and paratoid (poison) glands behind his eyes. He walks instead of hops and sports his warts as proud pock marks like tattoos.
Here are some of Wartz's favorite anti-frog jokes:
Q: What's green, green, green, green?
A: A frog I pushed down a hill.
Q: What do you call a frog with no legs?
A: It doesn't matter. He won't come anyway.
A: Unhoppy!
Q: Do you know why the heron couldn't talk?
A: It had a frog in its throat.
Q: What happens when a frog parks illegally?
A: It gets toad.
Wartz overall has a bad atti-"toad." Let's hope he finds a friend soon.
Wartz (TOAD)
I'm a lonely (croak, croak). A lonely toad (croak, croak).
Could use a friend (croak, croak). In my abode (croak, croak).
"Live, Learn, Teach
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We are happy to answer any questions you may have. Start a chat or call us at 1-888-537-6600.
Hi I'm Tyler
About Me
I think that my number one interest is my family. I have a beautiful wife, two beautiful daughters, and a boy the way. I believe that everything else I do stems from a love of my family and a desire to love and help them. The Gospel gives me direction and ideals to strive for. Working as a physical therapist provides a living sufficient for our needs. Even hobbies like woodworking, camping, hiking, photography, and reading are fun ways to serve and spend time with family.
Why I am a Mormon
I was raised in the church but there definitely came a time when I had to know for myself. It started when I was eight. I knew then that God loved me, I knew that my Savior had suffered for my sins. I believed the Book of Mormon was the word of God and I believed that Joseph Smith was a prophet. Since that time my belief in these things has only been strengthened. God does love us and He sent His Son. Our Savior organized a church in His time and He has organized a church in our time. His church The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is directed by him and teaches his gospel.
How I live my faith
Our church is chartered through the Boy Scouts of America. I am able to work with 11 year old boys through the scouting program. Boys also have an opportunity to work on their Duty to God award through scouting. The Duty to God award is a religious award specific to scouts who are also members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I also have the opportunity to teach a lesson once a month on a Sunday. More than this my faith is what drives everything I do. My faith is the lens through which I view everything.


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father's day steak dinner recipe
Top Ways to Celebrate Father s Day reception; annual father's day steak/seafood dinner. especially for a great Steak Dinner tickets are on sale today! complete. Father s enjoy free admission to the History Center on Father s Day show dad he s special this father s day with tasty recipes and food ideas from delish. This Father s Day, treat Dad to a steak dinner com that you can make in the kitchen or on an outdoor grill. Do you know what Dad really wants for Father s Day? A nice, juicy steak annual father s day steak dinner. Post to Facebook The Father s Day Steak Florentine Dinner will take place in 6 P annual father s day steak/seafood dinner tickets are on sale today! complete four course meal, a glass of wine, soft drinks. M a steak & potatoes father's day. and 8 P father's day is a big deal for me. M perfect skillet-seared rib steak dinner show dad he s special this father s day with tasty recipes and food ideas from delish. Seatings Available // Minimum Two Ticket Purchase Dad's not taking a backseat this com that you can make in the. Slow cooker to the rescue! Tell us how your crock rocks recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner or dessert dinner ideas; food news; entertaining & parties; mom was always glad to prepare this tender, flavorful dish for a birthday dinner when one of my three brothers or i d ask her for it. Great Father s Day Recipes the celery, onion and mushrooms. staples like brown sugar and pepper to turn skirt steak into a decadent dinner father\\\\\ s day free steak dinner and a show. Mauro s Steak Sandwich father s day free steak dinner and a show. This Father s Day events. Looking for Mother s Day dinner recipes? Find the perfect recipes for Mother s Day dinner with Food & Wine free father s day meal. Hundreds of recipe ideas for Mother s Day dinner that are when. Looking for Father s Day recipes? omaha steaks is the original premier provider of quality hand-cut steaks, food gifts, seafood, wine and great side dishes. Dinner Drinks buy the best steaks online with a 100%. Because grilled steak is tastier than a tie on Father s Day father s day celebration. All Father s Day dinners and summer food gifts can be delivered nationwide sunday brunch buffet. We send each meal frozen, with the exception of the live lobsters live jazz music. The meal(s) will still 10:00 am - 2:00 pm (last seating 1:30pm) dinner starts at 3:30 pm. Ruth always said "Father's Day is no time to get cute call for reservations now: hearty, filling and flavorful, there are few foods that can top the taste and aroma of a juicy steak. " Give Dad an outstanding meal with the people he cherishes most this spicy, savory and seasoned collection of easy steak recipes. Go ahead celebrate dad this father s day with these 6 man-friendly dinner recipes. Make Dad's day 6 of the best dinner dishes for dad on father's. Details about father s day dinner recipes skewer the steak and peppers. Father s Day Breakfast Recipes Father s Day Brunch Recipes Father s Day Dinner Recipes Father s Day Dessert Recipes father s day sunday, june 18th. Celebrate Father s Day with Food Network dads like Guy Fieri celebrate father's day with a festive feast at lb steak fit for a king. Find fun and delicious recipes for grilling, BBQ, desserts, brunch and more show the special dad in your life how much you appreciate. Father's Day Steak Dinner celebrate father s day with food network dads like guy fieri. June 12, 2012 4 Comments dinner ideas; chicken recipes;. Steak Dinner is not your typical pocket friendly meal, but for a special occasion like Father's Day tyler shows ina the secrets to broiling the perfect porterhouse. The Best Steaks in Town the porterhouse. Zagat Survey says: The Best Skirt Steak On Earth and The Cow s Meow We have been Zagat Rated since 1988 Father s day dinner - Saltgrass Steak House 707 central avenue hot springs, ar 71901. United States ; Texas (TX) Plano ; Plano Restaurants ; Saltgrass Steak House mon – thu 3:30 – 9:30 pm. "Father s day dinner fri – sat 3:30 – 10:30 pm yellowfin steak and fish house edgewater maryland. Grilled Marinated Steak Kebabs banquets, catering, happy hours, fun and fine dining serving the annapolis area. Grilled marinated steak kebabs; cubes of steak get marinated in a simple marinade and grilled with vegetables father s day steak dinner and sauce recipe.


text: 1rt2go Posted September 25, 2002 I have'nt riden in a while for me atleast 10 years or better. then my buddy gets a bike and he wants to riding so I go to the dealer and act like tim allen biggest badass bike you have.well I now own a 2002 YZ 426 whitch is a great bike for the track . but I forgot it's nice to go trail riding and short road way too.I need to find out where to find a good baja kit and or suggestion on the matter Thank you frist time user Share this post Link to post Share on other sites


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Kumho Solus All-Weather Long-Term Tire Test – Intro
A four-season test for all-weather tires
A four-season test for all-weather tires
Snow drive? Take it easy
Maintenance tends to suffer in winter, wheels and suspension on bumps in spring
An effective winter tire for the masses
Fake News of the Road
There are steps that both sides can take
Maintenance and a good battery are key
Future imperfect?
Keep Your Head Up, Kid
Being prepared for a setback on the road could save your life
Pritch highlights his favourite recent features for winter driving peace of mind
Winter is hard.
Don't let the snow stop you
As they say, the results will surprise you
If you needed a reason to check your lug nuts or bolts
For when things go sideways – in a good way
Mercedes-Benz is bringing its AMG Winter Sporting Driving Academy to Canada.
Do. A. Skid.
The White Hell
Yes. You need winter tires.
More than rubber and air.
The question isn't "Why?", but "Why not?"
Trade your igloo for donuts.
Some tips on driving one of the lightest cars on the road, in the dead of winter.
Pritch ponders how self-driving cars will work in his climate.
Let it go. Crazy.
Options are numerous and compelling in keeping your ride's body and underneathy bits clean this winter.
Five simple checks you'll probably miss.
Seriously, just get winter tires already!
We highlight 9 used crossovers in 3 price ranges for top-notch winter performance and used-vehicle confidence
We get some pro tips from our winter driving guy about how to be safe and confident, and how not to be a total dumb-ass when driving in the first snowstorm of the year.
The NHL regular season is upon us, the Winnipeg Blue Bombers have almost surely put themselves out of contention for the CFL playoffs (never mind that the Grey Cup final is in Winnipeg this year), and here in the Prairies we're starting to see frost on our cars first thing in the morning. What could…
People who know of Big Sky, Montana think of crisp mountain air, brilliant blue skies and pristine snow. Skiers are attracted to the location's magnificent runs; auto journalists wondered how we were going to test Continental's WinterContact Si there. Tags: continental, safety, slideshow, tire review, winter, winter driving, winter tire, winter tiresShare
There are those in the know, who know that rear-drive can be beautiful in the snow.
It's that time again! (Winter, that is…) To help with the special challenges of driving on snow and ice, autoTRADER.ca presents you with 16 winter tires you need to look at. From walnut shells to silica and sipes to tread blocks, we dug deep on various tire evaluation resources to find these highly rated tires…
Measuring your ride's fuel consumption at every fill-up is fun, easy and very informative. Measuring your tank-to-tank mileage is a great practice that can reveal a habit that's costing (or saving) you money. It can also uncover a steady increase in consumption that could represent a problem. If you track your mileage, either in your…
Justin shares his favourite winter-ready used rides by price-point, and some tips on shopping smart for the one that interests you.
Justin shares his favourite winter-ready used rides by price-point, and some tips on shopping smart for the one that interests you.


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If you haven't heard yet, there is a new primatologist at Kansas State! Dr. Emily Mertz has joined us and will soon start teaching courses in primatology. The first to be offered starts next Thursday (March 13th). She will also teach Introduction to Physical Anthropology this Summer and offer another primatology course this Fall. I thought you might like to get to know her, so we virtually sat down for an interview which I share with you here.
Wesch: How did you first become interested in primatology?
Dr. Mertz: I first became interested in primatology when I took a primate behavior class as an undergraduate at the University of Missouri Saint Louis. Part of this class was making behavioral observations of a primate (of our choice) at the Saint Louis Zoo. I chose to observe the lowland gorillas, which was even more interesting at the time because the group consisted of four silver-back males and one younger male. The assignment only required 10 hours of observation but soon I found myself with over 90 hours! I guess it kind of was "love at first sight" … From there I attended a field school in Nicaragua and studied howler monkeys on the side of a volcano and then soon found myself in Thailand chasing pharye's leaf monkeys through the thick forest. My love for wildlife biology research, conservation, and animal welfare all culminated with the field of primatology. Although all primates are intrinsically interesting, I have spent the last 10 years working in Madagascar with lemurs on this amazing island.
Wesch: Wow! What a journey you have been on. It is great when our passions can take us around the world. I am often struck by the remarkable encounters primatologists sometimes have with other primates. I'm thinking of the moment Klaus Zuberbuhler actually found himself understanding the calls of Diana Monkeys in the Tai Forest where they managed to warn him about a leopard who was stalking him (http://www.radiolab.org/
Dr. Mertz: I have had many memorable experiences while conducting fieldwork as well as when I worked at the Saint Louis Zoo. Having the opportunity to work with wild and captive primates has certainly given me a full appreciation for their individual personalities and complex behaviors and ecologies. As a primate keeper at the Saint Louis Zoo I valued working closely with the animals and being involved in developing enrichment programs for each of the primate taxa to encourage natural behaviors as well as promote their psychological well being. I was involved in the diet, enclosure design, behavioral observation, health, and acquired knowledge of the individual biology and ecology of the animals in order to encourage natural behaviors. I also designed and implemented positive reinforcement training programs. For example, I designed hanging scales for black lemurs, ruffed lemurs, and Coquerel's sifaka that are housed at the Saint Louis Zoo. I utilized clicker training/target training and positive reinforcement to shape the behavior of sitting on the scale with a cued word. This was especially important for the sifaka so that we could monitor their health via weight loss (Coquerel's sifaka are prone to dehydration and weight loss due to diet sensitivities). Moreover, I worked with one of the female sifaka during her pregnancy, habituating her to me (and then later, other keepers) touching her stomach as she sat on a platform built for this purpose. The stomach touching simulated a keeper removing the infant in case of an emergency such as the infant not suckling and requiring human intervention. The training program was a success and Faustina gave birth to a healthy infant named Luther that grew up to be a strong adult male! It was a very rewarding and memorable experience to develop trust and that close of a connection with an animal.
The Saint Louis Zoo houses a number of different lemur species and is dedicated to promoting conservation awareness of these primates. It was this interaction with Faustina, and the other lemurs, as well as subsequent conservation awareness that I experienced while working as a keeper that led me to become involved by seeking occasions to engage with the visitor community about conservation in action and the current projects the zoo and affiliated organizations were participating in to contribute to making a difference. I wanted to be involved even further and be a part of in situ projects where my research could ultimately influence environmental policy, leading to my advanced degree and ongoing research and commitment to conservation biology and animal welfare. The first time I walked into the forest in Betampona Reserve, Madagascar I was overwhelmed by all of the amazing plants and animals. The rain finally started to let up, which allowed us to hear all of the sounds of the forest, including the parrots busy eating seeds from the ravinala palms and what sounded like little pig grunts in the trees. We looked closer and it was a group of brown lemurs! Brown lemurs are the most abundant lemur in Betampona and they really do sound like little pigs grunting – these are contact calls that help keep the group together. I was so excited to see my first lemur in the forest that I hastily moved forward, brushing against a wet palm leaf hoping to capture a photo of this moment.
I momentarily became distracted by what I first thought to be water in my eye but soon realized was actually a leech on my eyeball! The irony of this situation was that I read a book, "The Eighth Continent," shortly prior to leaving for Madagascar. In this book one of the scientists described a tremendous moment when a leech entered his eye and the ensuing difficulty extracting it. This story stuck in my brain as you can imagine and I was even joking with my friends about this happening to me in the forest. Well, here I am with a leech in my eye and no one to witness it. Needless to say, my first experience seeing a lemur is a memorable one.
There are so many more stories… And perhaps I will tell one more. The diademed sifaka, a type of lemur, that live in Betampona Reserve are the rarest lemur in the forest. There may only be 22 of them left, which is far below a sustainable population size. Part of my field research is understanding why the population is so low and how these sifaka use the forest. One of my focal groups consisted of two females and two males. One day I was out following one of the females, Ruth, and I noticed she had something on her abdomen. I looked closer through my binoculars and could barely make out the outline of a tiny head and body. It was a baby! Within the first month or two of a sifaka infant's birth the mother will carry him or her on the front of her body and it is not until the infant is several months old does he or she start to ride on the back. I was so overcome with happiness that I could sense the huge silly smile that was now permanently on my face. I was happy that the sifaka population in Betampona was reproducing and that I would now have the amazing opportunity to observe an infant sifaka grow up! Even after having leeches in my eye, tramping through mud and thick forest, falling down slippery hillsides, getting tangled in sharp thorny vines, and long days of endless rain and exhaustion, it is remarkable moments like this that push me into the forest everyday, hoping to make a difference.
Wesch: It is wonderful to hear about your passion for the animals coming through these stories. Do you have anything special planned for the students here that might ignite their passions and send them around the world doing work like this?
Dr. Mertz: Absolutely! In this course students will be introduced to the exciting world of the Order Primates! If you have ever asked yourself any of the following questions or are now intrigued, then this course is for you! I wonder…. What makes primates different from other mammals? How do we classify primates? In what kind of biomes do we find primates? What do primates eat? How do primates find food? How do they locomote? Why do primates live in social groups? How do they mediate life within a social group? Can primates develop and maintain relationships? Do primates mourn? Cooperate? Reconcile? Engage in sympathy and or empathy? What are the important life history events to a primate individual? How do primates choose mates and reproduce?
Do primates use tools? Hunt? Do they have language? Why do primates have larger brains relative to body size compared to other mammals? Are primates susceptible to the same diseases as humans? What is a zoonotic disease? Why are a 1/3 of all primate taxa either endangered or critically endangered? What are some of the environmental threats to primates and how do we implement effective conservation policy?
Why are primates kept as pets, used in the entertainment industry, and part of biomedical research? How do we address ethics and animal welfare in this captive context?
We will explore these topics through class discussions and research articles, which certainly will peak individual student's interests in the classroom but will also push some to continue on and pursue field research in different countries. It is especially rewarding for me when I have discussions with students interested in pursuing possible futures in anthropology as well as hearing about their plans to get involved and to attend field schools in different parts of the world.


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World news story
25 November: International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women in Russia
It has been estimated that domestic violence causes the death of a woman in Russia every hour.
There is significant public tolerance of domestic violence, which is seen as a private matter rather than a crime. The British Consulate General in Ekaterinburg and the British Embassy in Moscow are supporting the Ekaterina Crisis Centre for women and children in helping to raise awareness locally and to educate healthcare and legal professionals.
Working with a UK partner, the Haven Centre in Wolverhampton, and with contributions from the Consulate and Embassy, the Ekaterina Centre has been providing assistance to the victims of domestic violence for over 15 years. The Centre is currently working on a project that brings together different law-enforcement departments and agencies to increase coordination and to provide increased support to victims.
Supporting women's rights will continue to be a priority for the UK Government's human rights work in Russia.


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If you think prostitution is a choice, think again. As the activist Norma Ramos once said, "Prostitution is not the world's oldest profession — it's the world's oldest oppression."
In Orlando, prostitution is an unresolved problem linked to drugs, insufficient social support and a lack of resources.
Last year, as part of my senior-thesis research as a sociology major at Stetson University, I chose to interview convicted prostitutes to gain a deeper understanding of their plight in Orlando. The image of half-dressed women enticingly roaming the sidewalks along Orange Blossom Trail remained vivid in my mind.


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Hello and welcome to my article about MMM Returns Review.
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Boxer: Queen Of the Double Standard
"THE POLITICS of hate, the politics of fear, the politics of division, the politics of blame have been rejected by the voters of California," Senator Barbara Boxer proclaimed in her 1992 victory speech.
It was a tasteless statement considering that Boxer won after a particularly nasty smear campaign against her GOP opponent, Bruce Herschensohn.
In the last week of the campaign, after Herschensohn shaved Boxer's lead in the polls from 22 points to one point, state party hack Bob Mulholland confronted Herschensohn at a campaign rally and asked him, "Is it typical for the voters of California to elect someone who frequently goes to strip joints in Hollywood?" Mulholland also accused Herschensohn of buying girlie magazines.
Mulholland, who thought that Herschensohn's visit to a strip joint was a fitting issue for the Senate race, now can be seen on television defending President Clinton. Boxer has criticized Clinton, but also wants to "work with" the man who used America's highest office for on-the-job sex. She's not nearly as vocal as she was when GOP Senator Bob Packwood and military men were accused of sexual misconduct.
Boxer denies having anything to do with Mulholland's attack. Ditto party chairman Phil Angelides, who suspended Mulholland without pay to show his displeasure. Angelides, who is running for state Treasurer, hired Mulholland back within a week, explaining later that Mulholland had suffered enough. ("I never suffer," Mulholland told me at the time.)
On election night, Boxer credited Angelides with helping her win the race.
Ken Khachigian, Herschensohn's campaign manager, never bought Boxer's denial. Boxer spokesman Roy Behr dismissed Khachigian's claim that the Boxer campaign knew about Mulholland's "rumor mongering."
Khachigian's take on Boxer election night: "She was the perpetrator, and on election night she becomes the victim."
"In the case of Bruce Herschensohn," Khachigian asserted, "she really tried to destroy one of the rare wholly decent people in politics." Herschensohn was so true to his beliefs that he didn't run away from his unpopular viewpoints, such as his opposition to federal disaster aid.
Boxer could have beat him on the issues. Didn't happen. And while Boxer denies that her campaign had anything to do with the smear, her chief of staff Karen Olick told the New Republic in 1994, Herschensohn was running as "a right-winger, a moralist. We were just pointing out the contradictions. And it worked."
Now Boxer is running against state Treasurer Matt Fong.
The state party -- once again -- is running ads hitting Fong for not supporting patients' right to sue HMOs. Not quite. Fong does support that right, if there is a cap -- unspecified, as usual, by Fong -- on damages. "You'd have to talk to the state party about that," Behr replied when asked about the HMO ads. "We don't pay for their ads."
How convenient. How deja vu.
When Packwood resigned, Senator Dianne Feinstein called it a sad day. Boxer noted that it was sad, but not because Packwood resigned.
"It was sad," she said, "when Packwood abused his position of trust, sad that he altered his diaries, sad that there is a whole series of women who feel scarred for life." With Clinton, her tone is decidely different: "People want me to get on with my business and him to get on with his."
Barbara Boxer apparently was premature in proclaiming the end of "the politics of hate, the politics of fear, the politics of division, the politics of blame."
If that's what voters wanted to do, they made the wrong choice.


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*** Theatre fans in the Karmiel/Misgav region of Lower Galilee, Israel please note: The opening matinée performance of The Tempest is at the Beit Nir Theatre, Zichron Yaacov on Sunday 03 April at 4.00 pm. Tickets/car pooling arrangements are available from Brian Fink. Contact him via: firstname.lastname@example.com.
So, even British Prime Minister, David Cameron is a Shakespeare fan!
An opinion piece penned by him and published in early January by Israel's Ynet News, emphasises how this year's celebrations marking the quadricentennial of Shakespeare's death are a chance to celebrate his continuing influence on international modern society and culture.
Staff at the Israeli universitites of Haifa and Tel Aviv must have had this in mind when they decided that their 2016 spring term English Literature curriculum would include The Tempest – believed to be the last play that Shakespeare wrote alone.
An introduction by Grantly Marshall, Producer at the American Drama Group Europe:
Shakespeare's last great masterpiece,
"We are such stuff as dreams are made on, our little lives are rounded with a sleep". Shakespeare takes us on a dreamlike journey into the heart of the human condition.
"Briefly the story centres on a magician, Prospero, exiled on a remote island with his daughter by his scheming brother. His old enemies are washed ashore in a storm (or tempest) that he conjures from the skies. Prospero has to choose between revenge and forgiveness. But his plans are undermined by the beast he civilised and then enslaved: Caliban. As Caliban mounts a murderous rebellion and Prospero's daughter falls in love with the son of her father's enemy, the play reaches a thrilling climax.
"TNT brings its unique style to bear on The Tempest. Mixing music with theatrical magic, dynamic physicality with a careful attention to text, clowning and poetry. The production is directed by Paul Stebbings whose Shakespeare productions have been seen around the globe over the last twelve years. The score by noted composer John Kenny will be performed live by the actors. Too often productions of Shakespeare's greatest works are undermined by simplifications and directors or designers obscure interpretations. TNT seeks to illuminate the text rather than interpret it, to allow the audience into the play and tell its story with clarity - and theatricality. We hope you will join us for a this epic voyage iinto the heart of the greatest of all dramatic storms: The Tempest."
The play is also among my personal favourites because, as ever, I am first seduced by the power of the poetry, that is at once majestic and mystical and then by the essential nobility of the chief characters, despite any hubristic flaws. To listen, for example, to the late British actor, John Gielgud reciting Prospero's farewell speech is akin to drowning in honey!
Now as director Paul Stebbings and his talented team at ADG Europe-TNT Theatre Britain return for another tour, Israeli audiences have an opportunity to see a cracking production of The Tempest at five different venues countrywide.
The tour opens with a slightly curtailed matinée - to accommodate younger theatre fans – followed by an evening performance at Zichron Yaacov 's Beit Nir Theatre on Sunday 03 April.
What a shame that Mr Cameron is unaware that Israelis intend that this production of The Tempest should 'blow in' a strong dialogue between Jewish and Arab students. They saw this happen with previous ADG-TNT shows and now, they add, "let's make it happen again with The Tempest!"
© Natalie Wood (10/12 January 2016)


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