text:
Michael Sandel wrote in the Atlantic back in April that we as a society have allowed markets to play larger and larger roles in our lives without evaluating whether that role is desirable. Here is a brief excerpt:
As a result, without quite realizing it—without ever deciding to do so—we drifted from having a market economy to being a market society.
The difference is this: A market economy is a tool—a valuable and effective tool—for organizing productive activity. A market society is a way of life in which market values seep into every aspect of human endeavor. It's a place where social relations are made over in the image of the market.
The great missing debate in contemporary politics is about the role and reach of markets. Do we want a market economy, or a market society? What role should markets play in public life and personal relations?
This series of questions presents an uncomfortable reality. Michael Sandel gives a bunch of rather benign examples of goods and services available through the market. As for whether there should be any moral limits on the market, I rather think more unsettling options need to be put on the table.
According to Sandel, a surrogate mother is available in India for $8,000. But why stop at just implanting a baby in a surrogate mother? Why not implant other things in whomever you want? The price varies by the region, but the average price for a slave today is about $90. Sometimes, women are sold into sex trafficking for $500, or $1000, particularly within Soviet nations after the Berlin Wall fell. In Kenya, the estimated typical cost for having sex with girls as young as 12 was $25. In Thailand, some prices for child trafficking range between $120 and $160.
I understand that we have a 13th amendment in the US that SHOULD prevent this sort of thing from being legal, but imagine the situation for a moment: you're an impoverished farmer with no access to reliable clean drinking water, no reliable electricity, and no internet (ye gads!). You can barely afford to feed yourself, let alone your three children and significant other. Suddenly, a nice young woman enters your small village and asks you whether you would allow your son or daughter to work in the city for $100 US. You know that money would be able to feed the rest of your family for at least two months, and you'd be able to buy some farm equipment to make the money last even longer. Plus, the young woman says that the agreement would last for 6 months, and after that point the child would be allowed to return home. Do you take the offer?
More importantly, should you have to be in the position where you NEED to take that offer?Here in the US, we have agreed to put a series of social safety nets that would prevent people from being so impoverished, so in need that they actually NEED to sell their children to survive (the process usually presented as "loaning" children, according to the NPR story). In effect, we want to limit that particular market, and one of the ways we do this is not just to outlaw it in our country, but to reduce the factors that encourage the formation of that sort of market.
What's the problem here then? It hasn't been enough. The issue is so bad in Ohio, which not only allows for easy foreign-born trafficking but also local requirement of young girls, that even in today's polarized politics it is about the only issue on which Republicans and Democrats actually seem to agree.
I think it should be pretty clear by now that I think there should be limits placed on the market system. There is no way in hell that I want to see a world in which human trafficking is legal, sanctioned, or encouraged. The government HAS to step in to prevent these unwanted situations from occurring. It must play a role in keeping markets from taking off. But what makes markets so dangerous?
Like Michael Sandel wrote, the market is a tool. It can be used for our benefit or detriment, but it does not concern itself with whether its use is for our benefit or detriment. It is, in effect, an amoral system–a system without morals. One of the allures for our relying so extensively on a market system to solve our problems is that we avoid the question of ethics and morals entirely: the market does not respond to ethics, it responds to money. Look at our financial system if you need proof. Look at the derivatives market, or sub-prime loans. Look at the LIBOR rate fixing that happened in the United Kingdom (which had a demonstrable effect here). Or look beyond the world of finance. Look at the Enron Scandal, some of which involved shutting down power plants in California to artificially lower the supply of energy to inflate the cost of energy. Look at Consumers Energy at the same period, which did the same thing. Look at where grocery stores are in your area: they're centered around where the money is likely to go, almost without a doubt. Companies and markets go where the money is. It is as simple as that.
These problems are not isolated incidents. They are inherent in the very nature of markets. Money is king, not morals.
I don't know about you, but I am thankful that we have decided that the government ought to protect our morals from the market.
Image came from a blog whose topic is much more explanatory regarding the basics of sex trafficking than I could go into in this post. You can find that blog post here.


text:
Sheffield Wednesday's slender hopes of gate-crashing the Championship play-off places were dealt a blow at Reading but bookmakers expect the Owls to bounce back swiftly as they host Cardiff City on Saturday.
Betway have installed Stuart Gray's men as 23/20 favourites to secure maximum points at the expense of the Bluebirds, BetVictor's 11/4 underdogs and it's 5/2 with bet365 for the clash to finish all square.
Wednesday's fondness for home stalemates could lure punters towards the latter, as well as Ladbrokes's 18/5 about a score draw and William Hill's 6/1 for the teams to net once each. Also of interest could be Stan James's 1/2 marked against Wednesday in the 'Draw No Bet' market and Skybet make the hosts 3/10 to avoid defeat. However, Cardiff have lost four on the bounce and Stan James rate Wednesday at 13/5 to extend the visitors' losing sequence by one-goal.
Ambitious supporters can tackle's BetVictor's 9/1 about a 2-1 home success and in a potentially tight affair, the Owls are 4/1 (bet365) to prevail despite going in on level terms at the interval.
Rotherham's survival hopes are just 7/5 (Stan James) to be dented at the hands of Ipswich and they are 21/10 via BetVictor to win. Skybet meanwhile, offer a second consecutive stalemate for the Millers at 12/5 and a repeat of last Saturday's 1-1 scoreline against Charlton is 6/1 at William Hill.
Sheffield United gave their play-off hopes a shot-in-the-arm as they saw off promotion-chasing Swindon and betway have made the Blades their 11/10 jollies ahead of the trip to struggling Gillingham (14/5, bet365). BetVictor go 13/5 the stalemate but the Blades have defeated the Gills once already this term and they're 17/2 (BetVictor) to complete a league double over the Kent side with another 2-1 triumph. Less specifically, they're 11/4 at Paddy Power to shade it by a solitary goal.
Despite racing into a 2-0 lead inside ten minutes, Doncaster only claimed a point at Chesterfield on Saturday but bookies fancy Paul Dickov's men to bounce back swiftly, Stan James chalking them up as 5/4 favourites to get the better of Walsall (12/5, BetVictor) at the Keepmoat Stadium.
BetVictor are forecasting a tricky afternoon for Barnsley as they travel to Swindon, BetVictor quoting odds of 4/6 for the Tykes to return empty handed and Stan James making them 3/1 to earn a point at the County Ground. Winner.com finally, post 23/20 against Chesterfield landing a vital victory at Notts County.
Odds supplied by www.betrescue.com

subset: commoncrawl


text:
HigherEd BlogCon 2006
Today begins the 2006 HigherEd BlogCon, "an online event focused on how new online communications technologies and social tools are changing Higher Education." Looking at the schedule for this month-long event, I'm seeing a lot of very interesting topics by some great speakers, er, writers.
You'll notice that April 10-14 is dedicated to "Library and Information Resources". LJ Mover and Shaker, Meredith Farkas has gathered a fantastic group of people to present during this block–I just hope mine can keep up with some of the other great topics planned!
As a public library person, I'm looking forward to getting a taste of librarianship in higher education. I think, with much of the Library 2.0 discussion focusing primarily on public libraries, school libraries have been left out in the cold a bit. It's important to include them in the discussion of new ideas and the overarching discussion.
I've never participated in a BlogCon before, so this is a first for me, but it's apparent that a lot of work and planning has gone into making this succeed. The fact that there is no geographical barrier to attendance really intrigues me and I'm looking forward to seeing how it all plays out.
Be sure to subscribe to the HEBC feed (comment feed too) and participate! It is, after all, a conference.
About this entry
You're currently reading "HigherEd BlogCon 2006," an entry on blyberg.net
- Published:
- 04.03.06 / 9am
- Category:
- Libraries


text:
Last weekend made 10 years since I won the inaugural NHRA / IDRC west coast national race (Hot Rod/quick 16 class). Can't believe its been that long. It being 10 years, it made me reflect on everything that cars/racing has done for me. The people i've met, the things i've learned from them and the self discovery of figuring things out mechanically and mentally. I think I started to learn after high school.
Since it was the inaugural race for that series, they didn't issue Wally trophies for the winners. Not sure if the NHRA (National Hot Rod Association) was sure on how involved they would get into the series. Although NHRA pulled out of the series in 2008, they did issue Wally trophies to all the winners in pro classes since. I should have... and still should contact NHRA to see if I could get an re issue of the Wally trophy. During the time I didn't really care about what form the trophy came in... i was just so stoked on winning and NHRA getting involved. If anyone has a contact over at NHRA, please let me know.
Funny facts: It was said that I was the only one who won a pro class and drove the car home that day ( I may be wrong... Just what I was told). Most cars were race cars which were trailered to and from the race.
It was a good thing i kept registration on it since spending money on parts and travel to race killed my budget on a trailer.


text:
Juan Lukanor
Brand Specialist, Estratega Creativo, Strategic Planner, Marketing, RRPP
Juan Lukanor
I introduce myself:
Multidisciplinary strategist, creative award winner (Cannes, San Sebastian, EFI, all reflected in my portfolio) and very good Account Manager, are the skills that define me as the professional I'm today in the Advertising Industry.
My hope is that you value my resume with the desire that they may be interested in my services.
I have been 7 months in Panama, and so far I've worked at the Cultural Center of La Casa del Soldado (Embassy of Spain) and also working as a Brand Specialist for INFINITY Auto Parts.
I am most grateful in advance,
Taking the opportunity to send you a greeting,
Juan Rafael López Alcaraz
Skype: Juan.lukanor
Professional listing
- Juan Lukanor – @lukanor
- Brand Specialist, Estratega Creativo, Strategic Planner, Marketing, RRPP
- www.cargocollective.com/JuanLukanor
- Open to job offers freelance or contract


text:
Real Talk-Time
has changed to
"Uplifting Talk-Time"
and moved to
Please come visit us there!
"REAL TALK-TIME" is now "UPLIFTING TALK-TIME" and has been moved to upliftingtalktime.wordpress.com
Father in Heaven,
By the power that you have granted me I take authority over the enemy's attacks on the men of this world. Please enable all men to put off the old nature in their lives, and be renewed in the spirit of their minds, so that they may put on a transformed nature of holiness.
Grant all men to perceive the image of strength and love that You have bestowed on them, Father. And grant them the will to use these gifts for the benefit of their wives and families and for the greater good of the whole Body of Christ.
I ask this in Jesus Name,


text:
Test Log T-98816-OC108/682
Cross-SCP Termination Testing for SCP-682
Due to the highly aggressive, adaptive, and intelligent nature of SCP-682, termination testing has been ordered, with clearance from O5 Command. With major concerns raised about possible developed immunities (due to the failure of SCP-409) and possible adaptations, all tests must first be carried out on tissue samples taken from SCP-682. This step may be bypassed only by O5 Command order.
Item: SCP-689
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 exposed to SCP-689. Lights shut off in containment area. Lights remain extinguished for 5 minutes. Lights are switched on. SCP-689 remains in its original position. SCP-682 is in a pool of grey and black liquid, with no observable life signs. D-Class issued to physically verify SCP-682 termination, with two Agents supervising. D-Class enters three steps into the containment area when SCP-682 rapidly rises and attacks D-Class personnel. SCP-682 breaks containment and escapes, killing one Agent in the process. Remaining Agent killed by SCP-689 due to accidental observation during testing.
Notes: It appears that SCP-682 is not "alive" in a way that is currently understood, or is immune to SCP-689. In addition, it appears SCP-682 has prior knowledge of SCP-689, or was somehow able to understand its function in order to "play possum" and escape.
Item: SCP-017
Tissue Test Record:
Sample "swallowed" by SCP-017 without incident.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 exposed to SCP-017. SCP-682 issues several sounds at extremely high volume, damaging several recording devices. Sound extends across several wavelengths, reported as "the most god-awful roar" by staff. SCP-017 appears to stumble, then return to a far corner of the containment area. SCP-682 attempts to break containment of both SCP-682 and SCP-017. SCP-682 suppressed by Agents, and removed. SCP-682 states, "You foul bags of tissue; you don't [DATA EXPUNGED]"
Notes: It is unclear if SCP-682 somehow damaged SCP-017, or communicated with it. Analysis of the recorded sound is ongoing.
Item: SCP-162
Tissue Test Record:
Sample entangled without incident
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 exposed to SCP-162. SCP-682 begins thrashing violently, emitting several roaring sounds and issuing profanity directed at testing staff. SCP-682 becomes entangled with SCP-162, primarily in the lower body, head, and left forelimb. Entangled areas undergo massive trauma due to SCP-682 thrashing. After four minutes of continued exposure, SCP-682 lunges away from SCP-162, severing its lower jaw and left hind limb, and causing serious tissue damage to many areas of its body. SCP-162 remains attached to the left forelimb of SCP-682. SCP-682 breaks containment, using SCP-162 against several Agents, staff, and researchers, resulting in eleven deaths and eighty-six injuries. Forelimb and SCP-162 removed from SCP-682 during re-establishment of containment. Two additional deaths occurred during the recontainment of SCP-162.
Note: General ██████ has requested that Mr. Noaqiyeum and the members of staff involved with the approval of this test report to Site Command for a disciplinary hearing.
Item: SCP-061
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 exposed to SCP-061. SCP-682 enters the "relaxed" state consistent with SCP-061 exposure. SCP-682 is given the command "lie down". SCP-682 remains unresponsive. Command repeated twice before SCP-682 lowers itself to the ground. Movements noted to be very sluggish and jerky. SCP-682 given the command "roll onto your back". SCP-682 unresponsive. Command repeated three times. SCP-682 shudders several times, partially rolling over before returning to former position. Command repeated six times. SCP-682 appears to undergo a violent seizure, partially rising before collapsing to the floor. SCP-682 given the command "stand up". SCP-682 rapidly rises and breaches containment. SCP-682 ignores all commands given to it. Several Agents and staff respond to re-establish containment. SCP-682 emits a high-pitch "screech". All human beings in a fifteen-meter radius suddenly enter the "relaxed" state consistent with SCP-061 exposure. SCP-682 consumes several members of staff before being recontained by specially-equipped Emergency Response Teams. "Sonic Stun" adaptation lost from SCP-682 after two weeks.
Note: Study into how SCP-682 integrated SCP-061 into its biology is ongoing.
Item: SCP-053
Tissue Test Record:
N/A, overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 introduced to SCP-053 containment area. SCP-682 appears to be very confused, and shows no sign of being affected by SCP-053. SCP-053 appears to be afraid of SCP-682, and hides behind a chair in her containment area. SCP-682 lowers itself to the ground, resting its head on the floor. SCP-053 approaches SCP-682, and after several seconds of hesitation, briefly touches SCP-682 before rapidly returning to her hiding place. SCP-682 does not react in any way. SCP-053 approaches SCP-682 and pats its head, causing it to exhale through its forward nostrils. SCP-053 claps and hops in place several times before embracing the head of SCP-682. For the remainder of the testing period, SCP-682 appears to be in a very docile state, with only two low-level escape attempts being made. SCP-053 is observed to bring toys and other items to SCP-682, and makes several drawings on its forward carapace with crayons.
Staff entering at the end of the test phase are immediately attacked by SCP-682, resulting in two deaths and five injuries. SCP-682 contained and moved to separate containment unit. SCP-053 observed crying for several minutes after SCP-682 is removed.
Notes: The reaction of SCP-682 is notable for several reasons. First, it is one of the few incidents where SCP-682 has come in contact with biological tissue and not entered a "rage" state. Second, it has raised questions as to the physical make-up and composition of SCP-053, in regards to the lack of response of SCP-682. Third, it has provided a possible solution to long-term containment. However, approval for the mutual containment of two highly dangerous SCP items in a single containment unit is not likely.
Item: SCP-123
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue sample absorbed by the core.
Termination Test Record:
Test canceled after review of testing done between SCP-162 and SCP-682. The potential issues arising from SCP-682 gaining control of SCP-123 are too great at this time. Review of this proposal will be made if SCP-682 is totally incapacitated by some means, with no potential of escape or sudden adaptation.
Item: SCP-173
Tissue Test Record:
N/A, overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 introduced into the containment area of SCP-173. SCP-682 makes several screeching noises, and quickly presses against the wall farthest from SCP-173, staring at it the entire time. SCP-682 continues to stare at SCP-173 without pause for six hours. Agents equipped with large-caliber sniper rifles dispatched, and shoot out the eyes of SCP-682, at the same time stopping all observation of SCP-173 and SCP-682.
After resuming observation, SCP-682 is shown to be on the floor, with several injuries around its head, neck and legs. SCP-173 is seen to have tissue from SCP-682 on its "hands". SCP-682 rapidly regenerates damage, and moves to a different wall, developing several sets of eyes on various parts of its body, many covered by thick, clear "caps" of armored carapace. SCP-682 maintains observation of SCP-173 for an additional twelve hours, despite additional efforts of Agents and Foundation staff. SCP-682 allowed to exit containment area, and recaptured in temporary containment.
Notes: After review, it appears SCP-173 was unable to do lethal damage to SCP-682 due to a major difference in physical size. A possible repeat of this test may be made if SCP-682 is damaged enough to reduce its physical mass to a level equal with SCP-173.
Item: Dr. Clef
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 introduced to testing area. Dr. Clef introduced to testing area. Dr. Clef and SCP-682 stare at each other for approximately three minutes. Dr. Clef slowly backs out of the testing area as SCP-682 continues to stare. Dr. Clef attempts to open door of testing area. Door of testing area determined to be locked. Dr. Clef reportedly uses several loud expletives, and then attaches an unknown device to the door, keeping his eyes on SCP-682 the whole time. SCP-682 continues to stare. Dr. Clef detonates a small plastic explosive charge on the door, causing a containment breach. SCP-682 continues to stare. Dr. Clef engages emergency secondary lockdown doors and declares a partial containment situation. SCP-682 does not react. Dr. Clef proceeds to experiment observation center.
Two minutes later, SCP-682 somehow kills Dr. ███████, the project head, by broken neck caused by blunt force trauma against the control panel, despite remaining in the testing area.
Notes: This is the official story and we're sticking to it. The alternative, that someone tried to murder Dr. Clef by deliberately putting him in the same room as SCP-682, is completely inconceivable. O5-7
Item: High-altitude impact
Tissue Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
Termination Test Record:
Testing denied by O5-██
Notes: Seriously? I mean… seriously? Drop it out of an aircraft and let it fall… who in the [DATA EXPUNGED]
Item: One ordinary human child
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Child began to scream and cry when SCP-682 was introduced into the cell. Subject was immediately and messily devoured by SCP-682.
Notes: Okay, so that didn't work so well. Maybe the fact that the kid was crying made 682 perceive it as hostile intent… Guest Researcher Dr. W
Item: One ordinary human child, drugged to cancel extreme emotional reaction
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Child stood and smiled, giggling at SCP-682 with no sign of fear. SCP-682 devoured the subject messily.
Notes: Hmmm… maybe we can try that again. I'm sure somewhere out there there's a kid who'll make friends with it like SCP-053 did… Guest Researcher Dr. W
Item: Guest Researcher Dr. W
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Subject screamed in terror and pounded on the door to the test facility, begging to be let out. SCP-682 devoured it messily three minutes after being introduced.
Notes: Fucking sadistic asshole. I've got no sympathy for that moron whatsoever. Introducing children to this fucking monster? What the hell… Assistant Director Clef
Item: █████W ██████████ cutting laser
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue sample was successfully bisected 13 times before adopting a mirrored finish.
Termination Test Record:
After multiple attempts, the main body of SCP-682 was successfully bisected into parts that were equal in mass at T+7:13 hours. Dead scraps were removed from the room while the two halves (subsequently designated SCP-682-A and SCP-682-B) regenerated. After the recovery period, SCP-682-A and -B appeared to survey the area and evaluate each other, presumably in anticipation of attack. Surface fluctuations indicative of internal modification were noted, but all external changes occurred and disappeared far too quickly to be adequately described. High-energy bioluminescent organs on the face, spine, and forelimbs were observed as well on both specimens, usually forming, pulsing, and disappearing again over the course of a few seconds.
At T+35:42 hours, SCP-682-A and -B simultaneously collapsed on the floor and all vital signs ceased, remaining in this state for the following 48 hours. At T+84 hours, the laser was used again in an attempt to cut SCP-682-A and -B into more manageable pieces, leading to minor structural damage to the room as the laser beam reflected off their skin. As both -A and -B remained immobile despite the increased potential for escape, two D-class personnel were released into the room. Immediately upon their entry, [DATA EXPUNGED].
Technical failure of the observation equipment and test chamber breach was detected from outside, activating Safety Protocol T-98816-OC108/682-N147. Containment was successfully reestablished at the cost of ███ security personnel, ███ D-class personnel, and ██ researchers, including Doctors [DATA EXPUNGED]. The majority of the testing area was considered unsalvageable and demolished for later reconstruction. Experiment supervisor Dr. █████████ was found unconscious and in critical condition outside the observation chamber (see medical logs for ██████.██/██/████); medical staff succeeded in sufficiently reviving him to be debriefed by Agent ██████, whereupon he was harshly reprimanded and [DATA EXPUNGED].
Note: Only one SCP-682 was found in the locked-down area surrounding the wreckage, apparently at near-full mass rather than the expected 50% (scattered tissues within the facility account for the missing mass). Dr. █████████'s testimony indicates that SCP-682-A and -B exhibited a high degree of coordination following the security breach, but that once SCP-682-B became heavily damaged by security personnel, it was immediately devoured and reabsorbed by 682-A. Total loss of one of the SCP-682 specimens is considered highly improbable, and searches have been called to a halt. Agent ██████
Note: Much as our department would love to know whether SCP-682 retained a single consciousness during its dissection, or whether the two counterparts were actually able to cooperate until the stalemate was ended by external forces, for practical purposes we do not under any circumstances advise trying that again. - Dr. Noaqiyeum
Item: 60 MT thermonuclear bomb
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Testing denied by O5-█
Notes: One would think that putting SCP-682 in the epicenter of an explosion that can cause third-degree burns at a distance of 300 km is a good idea, but as long as there are odds of survival we simply cannot go through with it. Yes, it's a goddamn nuke, but if 682 survives and adapts we'd be boned beyond belief. O5-█
Item: SCP-914
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
[DATA EXPUNGED] of "Fine" or "Very Fine" is no longer to be used by any personnel having contact with SCP-682 at any point. In addition, any objects that have come in contact with SCP-682 at any point are not allowed to be processed by SCP-914. Any attempt to subvert this directive [DATA EXPUNGED].
Notes: SCP-682 is too large to fit in to the booths, in most forms. In addition, the tissue tests have shown that SCP-682 has… unpredictable reactions to SCP-914. Finally, SCP-914 is too valuable a research tool, and too delicate, for this type of test. It was nearly damaged after the incident (CN: 682-119857), and [DATA EXPUNGED] be repeated. Should the results be recovered [DATA EXPUNGED].
Notes: Does this really surprise anyone, given what 914 does to normal organics? - Dr. G
Item: SCP-826, equipped with one (1) copy of "The Generally Nice, Friendly Thing That Can And Will Kill SCP-682 Permanently if it So Much As Spots That Damn Lizard", a 12-page short story written by Dr. ██████, detailing a large, friendly monster that is stated to be capable of permanently killing SCP-682, and 1 (one) D-Class personnel (D-682-32) equipped with 1 (one) 2010 Ducati Multistrada motorcycle for the purpose of evading SCP-682.
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Story is put between SCP-826, and placed into large, empty room ██m X ██m X ██m in dimension, with a remotely operated doorway large enough to send SCP-682 through. SCP-682 is brought in front of the entryway securely. Once researchers clear the area, door is remotely opened, exposing a green pasture similar to the one described in the story. SCP-682 is reluctant to go through, so D-682-32 is sent through as bait. 682 follows through doorway, whereupon the doorway closes behind them. 30 minutes later, SCP-682 bursts back through the door it was sent through, somewhat worse for wear, killing ██ researchers and ██ agents in the process. Recovery personnel describe the story's pasture as having become a "Battleground", featuring impact craters with enormous body parts scattered around. Parts are thought to be from the story's "Thing". Recovered story is retitled "The Generally Nice, Friendly Thing That Tried To Kill SCP-682 Permanently But Failed", and is noticeably thicker, with 209 individual pages that detail an epic battle between the two monsters.
Additional attempts to coax SCP-682 into SCP-826 have been met with non-compliance on SCP-682's part.
Item: SCP-743
Tissue Test Record:
Sample consumed without incident.
Termination Test Record:
Mobile container with SCP-743 was transported to testing chamber, into which SCP-682 was released from primary containment. SCP-743's container was opened remotely. SCP-743 observed resting; SCP-682 appears to ignore SCP-743. After █ minutes, SCP-743 started flowing; SCP-682 appeared to notice within seconds. SCP-682 cautiously approached SCP-743 and tasted its flowing liquid. SCP-682 started to lap up the liquid from SCP-743. After ██ sec, SCP-682 grasped SCP-743 with its forelimbs and started pouring the liquid straight from SCP-743 into its mouth. SCP-682 drank for ██ minutes, at times [DATA EXPUNGED] on its back. SCP-743 stopped flowing and started feeding. SCP-682 tried to fight off ant swarm, but was soon covered. Swarm started to feed on SCP-682, who stopped moving.
██ minutes later, after SCP-682 had been reduced to 79% of its original mass, SCP-682 opened its mouth and stuck out its tongue. SCP-682's tongue had become 5 m long and sticky, like an anteater's tongue. SCP-682 started to lap up ants off of itself with its tongue, eating thousands of ants at once. SCP-682 and SCP-743 continued to feed off of each other for █ hours until testing was terminated. SCP-682 displayed faster-than-normal regeneration for ██ days afterward. Adapted tongue remained for █ days.
Note: SCP-743 treated SCP-682 as organic, but that's hardly conclusive proof. More significant is the question of whether consuming 743's liquid contributed to 682's heightened regenerative abilities. If, as suspected, it did, 743 and 682 need to stay far, far away from each other. —Dr. Lambert
Item: SCP-063
Tissue Test Record:
Sample eradicated. No traces above molecular level remain.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-063 was refitted to the end of a rotatory arm, which was deployed into 682's enclosure. Initial approach proves partially successful, with SCP-682 losing more than 20% body weight before regeneration overtakes the destruction process. Newly regrown tissues are not vulnerable to SCP-063's eradication effect: 682 destroys the deployment arm and 063 digs a hole through the enclosure's ground, where it is later recovered. 682 succeeds in extending a long prehensile limb through the hole and maiming two security personnel before containment is reestablished.
Hypothesis: 682 is not bound to base Earth biological chemistry and can adapt itself to be 'organic' or 'inorganic' as necessary. Some of the boys on the lab are arguing whether we can even classify it as 'living', at least as we understand life. This worries me, because an unliving, undying intelligent monster… well, that's where you start getting sacrifices in your name. — Dr. Zara
Item: SCP-807
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
A "682 special" (10 kg of rotten meat and sharpened bone splinters, 10 L of rancid mayonnaise, 1 L potassium cyanide, and 1 kg morphine hydrochloride, combined into a solid mass then transmuted via SCP-807) was dumped into the testing room.
SCP-682 devoured "special", then began loudly demanding more. Nine minutes later, SCP-682 collapsed.
After forty-five minutes of observation, SCP-682 had not moved. Two D-Class personnel in anti-807 environment suits were sent in to verify that SCP-682 was in fact terminated; D-class were equipped with further "specials" in case SCP-682 required further distracting.
"Specials" were placed on ground in front of SCP-682's head; in response, SCP-682 opened its eyes and began gnawing weakly on nearest "special".
D-Class personnel began touching SCP-682, believing that it had been rendered harmless; at this point, SCP-682's skin ruptured in at least eleven locations, releasing ultra-high-pressure (estimated 2.7 MPascals) jets of blood in all directions. Contact with SCP-682's blood breached the integrity of the anti-807 environment suits, and both D-class personnel were contaminated.
D-Class personnel began [DATA EXPUNGED]; by the time SCP-682 had finished consuming the second "special", its skin had healed over and both D-class personnel had terminated. SCP-682 then devoured the third "special" with the same speed and enthusiasm as it had devoured the first.
Item: SCP-662
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Mr. Deeds is summoned, and asked if he can destroy SCP-682 permanently.
Mr. Deeds' response: "I'm terribly sorry, sir, I'm afraid I can't."
Mr. Deeds is asked if he can kill SCP-682.
Mr. Deeds' response: "Again, sir, I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I can't."
Mr. Deeds is asked if he can incapacitate SCP-682.
Mr. Deeds' response: "As a matter of fact… depending on how sir means the word 'incapacitate', and depending on how long sir wishes the creature to be incapacitated… yes."
Mr. Deeds is asked to expand on how he would perform such an action.
Mr. Deeds' response: "Sir, the simplest and quickest method — which I must point out would not be the most efficient — would be for me to offer myself up for the creature to devour me; certainly its offensive capacities would be lessened whilst it is occupied in consuming my flesh. This would be simplest as it requires no preparation on my part, sir, but I'm certain you'll understand that the overall effect on the creature would be insignificant. Were I to engage the creature in combat, either with or without weapons, I could certainly occupy its attention and offensive capacities for a longer interval; unfortunately, I'm afraid the creature would eventually defeat me, at which point it would begin consuming my flesh as I have previously described. However, I could certainly booby-trap my person with a variety of noxious substances - soporifics, perhaps, or explosives, or perhaps encapsulated neurotoxins, or even [REDACTED], so that when the creature does inevitably consume me, it sustains further damage. That said, sir, I must remind you that the creature's tendency towards regeneration means that any damage I inflict would be sadly temporary."
Mr. Deeds is thanked and dismissed.
Note: Mr. Deeds' knowledge of [REDACTED] is not to be considered a security breach.
Item: SCP-738
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Researcher sits in SCP-738-2, and asks "What would you want in exchange for permanently destroying the entity which we refer to as SCP-682 while leaving this planet, its biosphere, its human population, its human civilization, the SCP Foundation, and the rest of the universe intact?"
Entity takes form of the same entity as Test 203, states "Your Foundation couldn't afford it, and you personally definitely couldn't afford it," and does not respond further.
Item: SCP-272
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 is released into enclosure amidst a circular array of thirty (30) two-thousand-watt (2,000W) stadium lights, of which only one (1) is switched on. SCP-272 is dropped onto SCP-682's shadow, and embeds itself in the reinforced concrete as expected. SCP-682 quickly discovers that it is trapped by SCP-272's presence in its shadow, and starts to attack SCP-272. SCP-682 then stops midway through its attack, examines 272 closely, bellows an incomprehensible string of words, and slowly backs away from 272.
All thirty stadium lights are then switched on and off in random stroboscopic "disco" pattern, at 4 Hz. SCP-682 is forcibly hurled around the enclosure in random directions, in accordance with the stroboscopic pattern, and sustains heavy damage.
After fifty-five (55) minutes of this process, >95% of SCP-682's epidermis has been abraded away, its anterior left limb has been severed, sixty-three (63) of its teeth have been broken out of its jaw, and its skull has been fractured to the point that both its eyeballs have been dislodged from their sockets. At this point, SCP-682's exposed sub-dermal tissue begins to luminesce. The luminescence rapidly increases until it is brighter than the stadium lights, which eliminates SCP-682's shadow entirely. SCP-682 then collapses, and is no longer affected by the stroboscopic pattern.
SCP-682 continues luminescing for forty-eight (48) hours, remaining immobile for the duration; D-class personnel who recovered SCP-272 from the enclosure were not attacked, but sustained permanent retinal damage from SCP-682's luminescence despite wearing eye shields. After 48 hours, SCP-682 resumes normal activity.
Note: How did 682 know not to attack 272? Did it recognize the artifact? Was it able to read the glyphs carved into 272's surface? If 682 is literate, is it vulnerable to textual memetic-kill agents? Suggested methods for a viability study are welcome.
Item: SCP-343
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
See incident report 682-TFTBS1
Item: SCP-963
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
See incident report 682-WO2BTL
Item: SCP-702
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue sample offered as trade item to SCP-702-1. 702-1 accepted, trading it for what appears to be a two-patty hamburger as commonly sold by the [REDACTED] franchise.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 is contained and offered as a trade item to SCP-702-1. 702-1 considers the tank for roughly 13 minutes before taking it. Item left in exchange is a metal cage, containing a specimen of Psittacula krameri manillensis (rose-ringed parakeet).
16 hours later, SCP-682 is returned to the chamber where the trading was effected, without its containment tank. SCP-702-1 is reluctant to divulge information regarding this event. Examination of debris regurgitated by 682 during the proceeding re-containment reveals fragments from a number of curious items, including [DATA EXPUNGED]. The parakeet is currently being kept at Dr. Quater's office.
Item: SCP-096
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Containment tank containing SCP-096 was placed in SCP-682's cell. Personnel vacated vicinity and the tank was opened remotely.
Screams of the two entities continue for twenty-seven (27) hours, at which point the noise abruptly stops. Sonar-based video feeds reveal SCP-096 severely "wounded" and huddled in the southwest corner, apparently upset. Feed shows SCP-682 on the north end of the room, approximately 85% of its initial mass absent. Re-containment teams retrieve both entities with relative ease.
Further attempts to expose SCP-096 to SCP-682 cause it to turn away from 682, jumping in place while clawing at its face and screaming.
Item: SCP-536
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue divided into samples and subject to the individual effects of SCP-536's dials. Notable results follow:
- Increase in g: Tissue restructures itself into neutron degenerate matter.
- Decrease in e: Tissue maintains loose integrity as a cloud of ions, regenerates upon reestablishment of normal laws of physics.
- Decrease in Theta: Tissue disintegrates.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682's containment tank inserted into SCP-536. Speed of light, strong nuclear force and fundamental charge dials decreased progressively. 682's containment tank is nearly immediately destroyed, and 682's body begins disintegrating. Due to intense light and radiation, visual is lost. Free neutrons, pions, kaons and more exotic mesons (described in [REDACTED]) are detected. 55s into the experiment, the primary detection equipment fails.
Upon bootup of the secondary detection equipment, dials are at minimum levels. 682 is again visible in the chamber, reduced to roughly 1% of its normal size. Analysis suggests 682 has reformed into a previously unknown form of matter, kept together by quantum effects.
Asst. Researcher ███████ becomes aggressive and turns the dials randomly and violently before being removed from the premises. 682 recovers its original shape upon restoration of standard physics.
Note: I don't blame him. I could swear, at one point, that thing looked like it was actually enjoying the experience.
Item: SCP-524
Tissue Test Record:
Sample consumed without incident
Termination Test Record:
SCP-524 and SCP-682 introduced into testing chamber. SCP-682 examines SCP-524 suspiciously, at which point SCP-524 begins gnawing on SCP-682's anterior right limb. SCP-682 jumps backward, bellowing. SCP-524 pursues SCP-682 for two minutes, at which point SCP-682 climbs four (4) meters up the wall of the testing chamber and is beyond SCP-524's reach. SCP-524 ceases pursuit and begins washing its face with its paws; it continues this activity for 15 minutes, during which time SCP-682 remains 4 meters up the wall and beyond SCP-524's reach.
SCP-524 then crosses to the other side of the test chamber and begins breaching containment. Test aborted.
Item: SCP-811
Tissue Test Record:
Sample consumed without incident.
Termination Test Record:
Direct exposure of SCP-811 to SCP-682 disallowed due to unreasonably high risk of specimen loss. Instead, mucus from SCP-811's palmoplantar surfaces is collected over a course of ██ months, and then sprayed on SCP-682 with high-pressure hoses. SCP-682's body mass is reduced by 27% before the mucus reaches a complete bone covering of the remaining body mass, and is unable to decay it further.
Item: SCP-1237
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
A deliberate containment breach was induced which an SCP-1237-1-L specimen was permitted to observe from a safe distance. Thirteen security personnel were killed before containment was re-established. Subject was dosed with ████████████ to encourage REM sleep and onset of SCP-1237 and instructed to dream that SCP-682 was a small housecat with no special abilities, and that the security team had been able to destroy it easily.
7 seconds after onset of SCP-1237 event, subject began to seize violently. Subject was declared dead after 32 seconds. Autopsy discovered the subject's body covered with scratch and bite marks and infected with bubonic plague, toxoplasmosis, and subacute regional lymphadenitis ("cat scratch fever"). The bodies of the deceased security personnel displayed similar characteristics. A small housecat was found in SCP-682's containment chamber cleaning blood off of its coat; said cat regenerated into SCP-682 within 3 hours.
Item: SCP-1361
Tissue Test Record:
Sample consumed without incident. DNA markers from SCP-682 present in SCP-1361 sample afterward. Sample showed increased resistance to incineration.
Termination Test Record:
A secondary sample of SCP-1361 was allowed to grow to 1,000 kg in mass. SCP-682's containment chamber was purged of acid and SCP-1361 was poured onto SCP-682 from above. SCP-1361 covered and fully engulfed SCP-682 and no activity was observed for 3 hours. In the period from 3 to 7 hours following exposure, SCP-1361 began to develop legs, jaws, and a physical appearance similar to SCP-682. SCP-1361 breached containment and attacked Foundation staff in a manner consistent with an SCP-682 breach and killed 17 personnel. SCP-1361 proved immune to small arms fire in this state; aerial dispersal of napalm was necessary to destroy sample by incineration, after which a skeletal and circulatory system identical to SCP-682 was retrieved from its remains. Remains were returned to SCP-682's containment chamber, where they regenerated into SCP-682 within 6 hours. Subsequent tissue testing indicated that SCP-682 temporarily contained DNA markers from several species present in SCP-1361, as well as temporarily exhibiting a mild scent similar to pork rinds.
Item: SCP-1933
Tissue Test Record:
Sample immersed in 1 liter of bodily fluids from SCP-1933. Sample fully converted into Irish cream.
Termination Test Record: 200 liters of bodily fluids were collected from SCP-1933 over a 3-month period. Fluids were introduced into SCP-682's containment chamber in bulk.
SCP-682 begins consuming fluids rapidly, and manifesting apparent signs of intoxication far more rapidly than a human would after consuming an equivalent amount of Irish cream. This has been hypothesized to be the result of portions of SCP-682's anatomy being transsubstantiated into Irish cream; however, instead of dying, SCP-682 continues consuming the fluids. When it has finished consuming all the fluids, SCP-682 collapses on the floor, and begins loudly vocalizing while clawing spasmodically at its face and abdomen. After 5 minutes of this, SCP-682 begins vomiting up what appears to be the bodily fluids of SCP-1933, but in much larger quantities; as well, the floors and walls of the containment chamber are instantly converted into Irish cream upon contact with the vomitus, resulting in structural failure and containment breach. Test aborted; remainder of vomitus incinerated. SCP-682 subsequently manifests no further signs of intoxication.
Item: SCP-507
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-507 was physically attached to SCP-682's left forelimb with nylon zip ties while SCP-682 was inactive due to physical destruction incurred during an unrelated containment breach. Attending personnel continued to spray SCP-682's body, with the exception of the limb to which SCP-507 was attached, with hydrochloric acid provided via high-pressure hoses. After 7 hours and 52 minutes, SCP-507's anomalous properties activated and it and SCP-682 both disappeared.
SCP-507 remanifested in an unpopulated area adjacent to Site ██, approximately 8,000 kilometers away, 63 hours later, attached to an entity possessing large fangs and a pair of vestigial wings but otherwise identical to SCP-682, by nylon zip ties of a different color than the ones applied by containment personnel at the beginning of the test. A handwritten note was found pinned to SCP-507's chest, reading as follows;
Dear Universe 5802-Sigma-Blue-Romeo;
It's your problem now, suckers.
Item: SCP-2599
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-2599 was ordered to attack SCP-682 "until it is 200% dead". SCP-2599 proceeded to engage SCP-682 in combat for 42 minutes, at the end of which three of SCP-682's limbs had been severed, its thorax had been crushed, and both its eyeballs had been ruptured. SCP-2599 then seized SCP-682's head, apparently in preparation for pulling it off of SCP-682's body. In response, SCP-682 vocalized the phrase "KILL ME, YOU SACK OF ORGANS, DO IT."
SCP-2599 immediately released SCP-682, and stood unmoving until security personnel removed it from the testing chamber. Subsequent attempts to terminate SCP-682 before it could regenerate from its injuries were ineffective.
Note: It is hypothesized that the concrete "kill me" in some way took precedence over the more abstract "attack it until it is 200% dead".
Item: SCP-513
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
<Begin Log>
<1/22/██, 1500> SCP-682 temporarily incapacitated via incineration and transferred to a video monitored soundproof containment chamber.
<1/22/██, 1600> SCP-513 introduced to room affixed to robotic arm.
<1/22/██, 1630> SCP-682 regenerates fully.
<1/22/██, 1635> SCP-513 is rung three times via robotic arm, after the first ring, SCP 682 howls and covers its 'ears' (due to the difference of anatomy and lack of visible ears, it can be safely assumed that the motion of covering the sides of its head accomplishes this).
<1/22/██, 1636> SCP-513 and robotic arm retracted from test chamber and returned to containment.
<1/22/██, 1640> SCP-682 uncovers its 'ears' and begins pacing the test chamber.
<1/23/██, 1640> SCP-682 continues pacing.
<1/24/██, 1640> SCP-682 continues pacing.
<1/25/██, 1640> SCP-682 continues pacing.
<1/26/██, 1640> Mass amounts of aerosolized sedatives and tranquilizers introduced to containment chamber via ventilation.
<1/26/██, 1645> SCP-682 loses consciousness.
<1/26/██, 1646> SCP-682 begins sleepwalking.
<1/26/██, 1647> SCP-682 breaches containment. Hallucinations of a pale, thin, large clawed entity resembling SCP-682 stalking the containment site were reportedly experienced by all present site personnel. Security footage shows no such entity on site. Due to mass hysteria, security teams were unable to reestablish containment of SCP-682 and are seen on footage firing repeatedly at walls before being dismembered by thin air.
<1/26/██, 1800> Mobile Task Force Eta-10 ("See No Evil") is deployed, equipped with HUD video enabled enclosed helmets. SCP-682 is located in SCP-513's containment cell, still unconscious, curled around SCP-513's gelatin containment cube.
<1/26/██, 1830> SCP-682 returned to containment and awoken via high pressure HCl spray. SCP-682 complains that it was having a 'such a lovely dream'.
<End Log>
Persistent monitoring and separate testing of both SCP-513 and SCP-682 since the experiment has shown no lasting effects on either object.
Post testing observation: Based on what appeared to be an initial adverse reaction from SCP-682, we don't know if the entity incorporated SCP-513 to itself, or if it worked the other way around. Either way, in light of the loss of 67% of site staff and 45% of site D-class, requesting that cognitohazardous item testing for SCP-682 be suspended until we understand just what the hell happened here. - Dr. Kerboros.
Approved, O5-4
Item: SCP-2140
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 should be prevented from making marks, symbols, or writing of any kind.
Item: SCP-2935
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
During exploration of SCP-2935, MTF E-13 discovered SCP-682 within temporary containment at Site-81. Upon further investigation, entity showed no signs of life.
Note: Due to the nature of SCP-2935, it is unlikely or impossible that this result can be replicated. This does, however, answer the question that other alternate realities have not been able to. What it means for ours is uncertain. -Dr. Harrison, Site-81
Item: Proposal to transport SCP-682 to an orbital asset, then activate SCP-1012.
Tissue Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
Termination Test Record:
Testing denied by O5-██
Notes: Once more, with feeling. There are three possible outcomes of this test. Case 1, it works. Case 2, you've just given 682 its own spacecraft. Case 3, the spacecraft isn't as insulated from Earth as we hope, and 1012 takes us out too. Denied.
Item: SCP-2337
Tissue Test Record:
SCP-2337 was informed that the SCP-682 tissue sample was a tone-deaf food critic who needed to hear a convincing argument as to which food item is the greatest in existence. After a 10-minute speech from SCP-2337 on the superiority of gummy worms, the tissue sample had been disintegrated from the resulting sonic shockwaves. SCP-2337 appeared highly pleased with itself.
Termination Test Record:
After being told that SCP-682 was a "prominent anti-gummy-worms extremist", SCP-2337 emulated the sound of a charge trumpet and entered SCP-682's chamber.
<Begin Log>
SCP-2337: Noble turkey stance! Fist of the eleventeen thousand war cushions! It are the cackening! Damn the tornados, siss boom cack!
SCP-682: Leave.
SCP-2337: Gooten idea-have. Cack!
[SCP-2337 demolishes the Southern blast door to SCP-682's chamber with a vocal shockwave, then exits, once again appearing highly pleased with itself. Containment breach of SCP-682 averted after minimal fatalities of containment staff.]
<End Log>
Item: SCP-682 instance transplanted from alternate dimension
Tissue Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
Termination Test Record:
Testing denied by O5-██
Notes: A potentially permanent stalemate between instances would solve containment, however, transporting an instance to our dimension would be unnecessarily dangerous, not even to speak of containing another one, or the consequences of if they chose to co-operate. Denied.
Item: ●●|●●●●●|●●|●
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue taken without incident
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 was restrained in chamber 145-B and the laser was introduced. Laser began cutting into SCP-682's back; command room emergency shutter was closed.
<Begin Log>
<9 seconds> SCP-682: What are you doing?
<13 seconds> Laser begins carving infohazardous data onto SCP-682's hide, SCP-682 emits a loud roar
<14 seconds> command room emergency shutter closes
<2 minutes, 4 seconds> Laser finishes cutting
<2 minutes, 6 seconds> ●●|●●●●●|●●|● manifests
<2 minutes, 12 seconds> SCP-682 breaks restraints
<2 minutes, 14 seconds> ●●|●●●●●|●●|● latches onto SCP-682
<2 minutes, 15 seconds> SCP-682 begins vocalizing
<2 minutes, 16 seconds> ●●|●●●●●|●●|● demanifests, taking with it only the section of SCP-682's skin which was carved with infohazardous data. Test aborted.
<End Log>
Item: Dr. Heikkila
Tissue Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
Termination Test Record:
Testing denied by O5-██
Notes: Dr. Heikkila is prohibited from interacting with SCP-682 in any possible way. Why he would even attempt to do so is beyond any logical reason. Dr. Heikkila has been detained for possible memetic contamination. Denied.
Item: SCP-2305-A
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
An SCP-2305-A instance generated involving SCP-682, and has been transcribed here by order of O5-██.
Item #: SCP-682
Object Class: Keter
Proposed Neutralization Method: OPERATION FAIL-SAFE-TANGA-34 would be enacted upon successful removal of approximately 90% of SCP-682's body mass, while incapacitated in a space shuttle that has been set to land on the Moon. OPERATION FAIL-SAFE-TANGA-34 consists of the following procedures:
1): 20,200,500,000 RDS-220 hydrogen bombs and 750 SCP-2195-1 instances will be transported to the Moon, spread out across the surface. It will be detonated with 10 separate inputs at Site-19. Materials for bombs would be generated from SCP-2400 and collected stillbirths for SCP-2195-1 instances.
2): 300 Tilda/Cimmerian Reality Vacuum Attachments have been attached in an hexagonal pattern on the Moon, with approximately 35 km of space between each one. TCRVAs will maintain the explosions occurring on the Moon to prevent any debris from hitting Earth.
3): Area-0-TANGA has been constructed 4,000 km into the Earth and currently houses a large spheroid approximately the size of the Moon, constructed from SCP-2400 materials. SCP-1056 will be used to lower the size of the spheroid for easier transportation.
4): Amnestics would be administered to approximately 80% of the human population after detonation through use of a modified RED TALISMAN algorithm to produce non-lethal cognitive hazardous amnestics. Amnestics will be applied to every source of common media, such as newspapers, television, billboards and several popular internet sites.
Result of Neutralization Attempt: Once the weakened SCP-682 arrived at the Moon's surface, all explosives were detonated. The TCRVAs successfully dampen most of the explosion, but 150 large meteorites still land on Earth. Spheroid was successfully transported to the Moon's orbit field and grown to its original size. Amnestics were successfully administered to approximately 78% of the Human population. However, 0.03 milliliters of blood belonging to SCP-682 survived the termination attempt, and adapted from it. SCP-682 grows to approximately the size of Saturn, and proceeds to destroy and eat multiple planets within the Solar System.
"The moral of the story:" This is the way the world ends. Not with a bang, but a chomp. But for reals, don't fuck with the gecko. >:(
Item: SCP-241
NOTE: Further testing of SCP-241 was required to determine if its anomalous properties allowed it to be used against SCP-682. Skin tissue was removed from D-class personnel D-682-39, with the tissue then being wrapped around one end of a short steel rod. D-682-40 used the rod to open SCP-241, manipulating such that only the skin tissue touched SCP-241. SCP-241 displayed different recipes than when it was previously opened. D-682-40 prepared one of the recipes, which was then eaten by both D-682-39 and D-682-40. D-682-39 died of anaphylactic shock six minutes later, while D-682-40 showed no ill effects.
SCP-241 was deemed suitable for use against SCP-682.
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 tissue sample was affixed to end of a steel rod, and the rod was used by D-682-40 to open SCP-241. SCP-241 showed different recipes than the previous time it was opened. Of the 99 recipes, three were in unknown languages, two were incomprehensible "word salad", and one was a memetic kill agent. Of the remaining 93 recipes, 100% had at least one instruction or ingredient which made it impossible to follow the recipe with complete faithfulness. Examples include:
- "Chill to -10,000F° before serving."
- "Garnish with antimatter parsley."
- "Marinate for 900 trillion years."
D-682-41 was tasked with cooking the 93 usable recipes, using SCP-241 plus a "correction sheet" (written by Dr. █████) which replaced impossible ingredients and instructions with the closest feasible analogue, with the results being delivered to SCP-682 containment cell upon completion. SCP-682 has shown no ill effects after having eaten all 93 meals.
Item: SCP-2578-D
NOTE: Test was conducted independent of the Foundation by SCP-2578-D. Secondary designation as a termination test has been given to Incident-2578-682-1.
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
During a routine maintenance check of SCP-682's containment enclosure, SCP-682 sustained five cranial penetration wounds in rapid succession and remained unresponsive for a period of roughly 32 minutes. Upon recovery, SCP-682 yelled "FUCK YOU AND ALL THREE OF YOUR MOONS" toward the ceiling. Five minutes afterward, Dr. Naismith received the following instance of SCP-2578-B on his personal email account:
[three-crescent symbol] has failed. [three-crescent symbol] is greatly embarrassed, and regrets the continued existence of your unpleasant lizard. Orders were orders. And for the record, [three-crescent symbol] didn't miss.
Item: SCP-2617
Tissue Test Record:
Not attacked by SCP-2617-A instance.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 was released in the abandoned village of █████████, Russia via airlift, and proceeded to attack the village. Coordinates were set to correspond with SCP-682's position, thus generating up to █,███ SCP-2617-A instances holding ███ unique variants of SCP-2617-B. SCP-2617-A instances attack SCP-682, destroying up to 45% of its body mass.
Five hours after the beginning of termination test, SCP-682 released a series of radio waves. SCP-2617-C dissipated, and all SCP-2617-A and SCP-2617-B instances underwent spontaneous sublimation. Personnel supervising the termination test were also exposed to the radio waves. Interviews with these personnel suggest that they are unable to recognise the concept of Russia.
Item: SCP-169
Tissue Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
Termination Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
No can do. I can understand how you might think that tracking down 169, then making it consume 682 would work, but it's survived and adapted to everything else we've tried. If it survives being eaten by 169, and, God forbid, grows as big as it, humanity would be screwed beyond belief. Denied.
Item: SCP-939-██ and SCP-939-███
Tissue Test Record:
Not attacked by SCP-939-██ nor SCP-939-███
Termination Test Record:
SCP-939-██ and SCP-939-███ both entered the containment cell for SCP-682. SCP-939-██ and SCP-939-███ were seemingly distressed and refused to attack SCP-682, while repeating a call for help. SCP-682 then attacked the two, devouring them after roughly and brutally mutilating the bodies of both subjects.
Notes: SCP-939 and SCP-682 don't match well. I guess we will not be using them anytime soon. Don't release the beasts again.
Item: SCP-012
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 was heavily sedated before SCP-012's container was lowered into SCP-682's containment cell. SCP-012's container was opened via remote-control. SCP-682 seemed to be under SCP-012's effects, as it began to claw at itself in an attempt to draw blood, which seemed ineffective. After several minutes, SCP-682's left forearm, back left leg, and approximately 32% of the mass of its main body had been removed before SCP-682 realized the composition could not be completed. SCP-682 then entered a rage state and breached containment, causing ██ casualties before SCP-682 could be recontained.
Notes: I was really hoping we could get SCP-682 to commit suicide with this. -Dr. ████
Item: SCP-173 with a photograph of SCP-096 attached to it
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Denied by O5-██
Notes: No. Absolutely not. Setting aside the problem of SCP-682, an SCP-173 that cannot be observed for fear of triggering a response from SCP-096 is a self-perpetuating catastrophe that the Foundation does not, under any reasonable circumstances, have the slightest desire to unleash. Denied with vehemence.
Item: SCP-372
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 introduced to testing chamber under heavy sedation. SCP-372 introduced to testing chamber. SCP-682 woke up and proceeded to wander the testing chamber, apparently confused. Approximately 10 minutes into the test, SCP-682 expressed sudden distress, implying it had become aware of SCP-372's presence. Exactly 5 minutes later deep lacerations and cuts appeared on SCP-682, eventually reducing 25% of its body mass. SCP-682 emitted loud distressed bellows and started to randomly attack the air in any direction, apparently trying to defend itself against SCP-372. Six minutes after, while still being attacked, SCP-682 is seen to make contact with SCP-372 via its tail, seeming to knock out SCP-372. SCP-682 proceeded to approach SCP-372, before being heavily sedated to prevent the likely loss of SCP-372.
Notes: Well, at least we know what that thing looks like now…
Item: SCP-1437
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue was dropped in without problem.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 was subdued and brought to Area-██, which was the area SCP-1437 is at. When dropped down SCP-1437, SCP-682 did not come back up, assuming SCP-682 was presumed terminated. However, 2 hours and 12 minutes later, SCP-682 flew out of the hole at 60-80 kilometers per hour. Subject then started rampaging through the site. Mobile Task Force Nu-7 (Hammer Down), was called in to subdue SCP-682.
Notes: Whoever put in this test in my name is going to be seriously reprimanded! You could've just asked before dropping a fucking unkillable lizard down a hole!- Dr. Church
Item: Standard Issue M14, dipped in SCP-447
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Denied by O5-█
Notes: Even in the slight chance we actually killed 682 with a gun dipped in green slime. If it killed 682 but then the curse occurred with it's dead body, well we'd be absoultely [DATA EXPUNGED] and screwed. - Dr. Church.
Item: SCP-204
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-204-2's danger seeking behavior was played upon to create a desire to test SCP-204-1's combat prowess. Through the use of carefully crafted stories, SCP-204-2 was informed of the existence of SCP-682. Hints were given to SCP-204-2 that SCP-682 was impossible to kill by conventional means, and only a warrior with special talents could defeat it. SCP-682 was released, heavily sedated, into the testing chamber. SCP-204-2 was then sent in through the airlock.
<Begin Log>
<5 minutes> SCP-682 regains consciousness and begins to move about test chamber.
<5 minutes, 47 seconds> SCP-204-2 begins shouting expletives at SCP-682 to provoke it. SCP-204-1 materializes at this time into an oversized armored knight bearing a massive battle axe and kite shield.
<5 minutes, 59 seconds> SCP-682 produces a near-deafening roar and charges at SCP-204-1.
<6 minutes, 9 seconds> SCP-204-1 clashes with SCP-682 in a fair simile of an ancient gladiatorial battle. SCP-204-2 seems to be watching the battle with rapt attention.
<16 minutes, 51 seconds> Combat between the two SCPs is extremely violent due to their size and strength. SCP-204-1 has succeeded into chopping off or tearing loose all of SCP-682's limbs, along with much of its flesh and part of its head. SCP-204-1 has suffered tremendous damage from the combat. SCP-204-1's 'shield arm' is broken off at the elbow, and the axe is missing half of the blade. The 'armor' SCP-204-1 wears is severely scraped, dented, and torn in places. It appears unable to walk, though it still stands in place between SCP-204-2 and SCP-682.
<18 minutes> SCP-682, while not dead, is sufficiently incapacitated. Researchers direct SCP-204-2 to have SCP-204-1 feed on the remains of SCP-682 in order to regenerate itself.
<26 minutes, 29 seconds> SCP-682 begins to regenerate while SCP-204-1 is busy consuming severed pieces of it.
<29 minutes, 3 seconds> SCP-682 regains motion and proceeds to attack SCP-204-1, this time gaining the upper hand due to SCP-204-1's current state of damage.
<29 minutes, 46 seconds> SCP-204-2 and SCP-682 both tranquilized. SCP-682 additionally hosed with hydrochloric acid to prevent additional breach attempts. SCP-204-2 removed from testing chamber and returned to containment.
<End Log>
Notes: While SCP-204-1 does appear to be capable of defeating SCP-682 in pitched combat, the carnivorous nature of SCP-204-1 does not seem to be an effective way of neutralizing SCP-682. SCP-682 regenerates too quickly to allow SCP-204-1 to destroy it completely. SCP-204-1 is hereby proposed as a last resort countermeasure against SCP-682 in the event of a full containment breach. If nothing else, the bastards can hack each other to bits while we try to regain control of the situation.
Addendum: Proposal denied. We are not now, nor are we ever going to risk the containment breach of a 2nd Keter class SCP during an ongoing Keter class breach situation. -O5 Command
Item: SCP-3108
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue was transformed into a piece of Uroplatus fimbriatus (giant leaf-tailed gecko) tissue.
Termination Test Record:
D-1782 was instructed to enter SCP-682's containment chamber and shoot SCP-682 with SCP-3108. After missing 6 times due to fear, D-1782 successfully hit SCP-682 with an SCP-3108-1 instance. However, instead of becoming inferior as expected, SCP-682 began to grow larger, and gained the ability to explode whenever threatened, and then reconstitute itself. SCP-682 eventually breached containment in this state, causing ██ causalities. SCP-682 was successfully subdued by gunfire after it returned to its normal state, and was recontained.
Notes: I have a theory on what just occurred: SCP-3108 causes things to be "inferior" to the subject, right? Well, SCP-3108 transformed SCP-682 into something that would be seen as worse and inferior by the Foundation: larger, and stronger, strong enough to break containment. SCP-682 actually decreasing in power wouldn't actually be seen as inferior to us. — Dr. Westrin
Item: SCP-2719
Tissue SCP-682 Test Record:
SCP-682 went inside.
Termination Test Record:
Item: SCP-106
Tissue Test Record:
Termination Test Record:
Denied by O5-Command
Notes: NO NO! ABSOLUTELY NOT! That is a disaster waiting to happen! For one thing the herculean effort required to move either SCP individually is huge! Not to mention creating a containment cell capable of containing both of them is almost impossible. Also there is the risk that SCP-106 would enter a lulling phase and we would have to wait for months for anything to happen, presuming SCP-106 would even try preying on SCP-682 to begin with.
However worst of all is the risk of them both breaching containment simultaneously. If this were to happen it could cause a chain reaction, resulting in massive loss of life. SCP-106 has also shown signs of sapience and the two SCP's could form communication with each other which could end up hindering the Foundations efforts in the future. The foundation can barely re contain either of them let alone both of them simultaneously. -Dr. Winfred
Item: SCP-3930
Tissue Test Record:
SCP-682's tissue was brought into the void, and ceased existing.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 is introduced to SCP-3930, and successfully ceases existing. However, despite SCP-682 no longer existing, Foundation personnel still perceive SCP-682. When the entity is looked at, a vivid image or memory is recalled in the brain of personnel that is described as resembling the appearance of SCP-682. This entity has been observed "attacking" personnel, killing them, despite the fact that SCP-682 does not exist during these attacks. It should be noted that personnel killed in this manner died when their brains ceased to function, despite the appearance of "physical damage" occurring on their bodies. All destruction caused by this entity becomes "real", even if the entity that caused it didn't. 15 hours later, SCP-682 was found within its containment chamber. It is unknown how SCP-682 managed to gain existence after this incident.
Item: SCP-3207
Tissue Test Record: SCP-682's tissue was shot by SCP-3207, resulting in its complete destruction. No intact organic residue left by SCP-682's tissue was found after the interaction.
Termination Test Record: SCP-682 was shot by SCP-3207 several times. SCP-682 was destroyed for a period of 6 hours, before five smaller organisms, theorized to have been composed of SCP-682's tissue, grew within SCP-682's containment chamber. These organisms successfully breached containment and merged with each other, re-creating SCP-682.
Item: SCP-3042
Tissue Test Record: N/A SCP-3042 introduced into SCP-682's containment chamber with current imprinted D-Class. Upon termination of D-Class, SCP-3042 will imprint on SCP-682.
Termination Test Record: Denied. While highly amusing to watch the result, it is more than likely that SCP-682 would be in a perpetual rage state and keep breaching containment. If a more reliable way of containing SCP-682 is found, we can come back to this.
Item: SCP-3922
Tissue Test Record: N/A
Termination Test Record: SCP-3922 was used with a ten-minute recording of security footage taken of SCP-682 during a containment breach, which, to add the semblance of a fictional narrative for the purposes of SCP-3922 jurisdiction, was labeled "Lizard: the Tale of the Unpleasant Lizard." The objective was to witness a plausible termination of SCP-682 and replicate the results.
The video was altered into a 72-hour military epic film titled "Sisyphus Among The Living," displaying an unsuccessful full-scale military assault on SCP-682 by instances of SCP-3922-A. The cast included Alan Rickman as "Commandant Marius", the SCP-3922-A officer tasked with leading SCP-682's termination, and Michael Clarke Duncan as "Lieutenant Havisham", the apparent protagonist of the first third of the film. No lethal damage to SCP-682 is observed. At the end of the film, the last surviving SCP-3922-A stormtrooper (played by Patrick Swayze) activates an experimental device that teleports at least five instances of gigantic primates (analogous to the description of SCP-PC-003) onto the battlefield. The final shot is of SCP-682 laughing as the creatures approach and the 1968 song "Livin' in the Sunlight, Lovin' in the Moonlight" by Tiny Tim plays in the background. The end title card reads "TO BE CONTINUED".
Note: The fact that the cast is composed entirely of noteworthy deceased actors and actresses could possibly be due to SCP-3922's connections with SCP-2922-C.
Item: SCP-3519
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue sample has no observable reaction to exposure to SCP-3519.
Termination Test Record:
(T-8) 02/25/19: Acid levels were lowered by 232 cm and SCP-682's head was allowed to regenerate. SCP-682 was exposed to SCP-3519. SCP-682 presented no evidence of suicidal ideation and was observed to laugh continuously for 193 seconds while the acid levels were restored.
(T-3) 02/29/19: Warning! Keter Class Containment Integrity Compromised — SCP-682. Warning!
(T+7) 03/12/19: SCP-682 containment personnel are presumed deceased. Remote sensors (25% operational) indicate a probable breach. SCP-682 should be assumed to be at-large. — O5-6
(T+886) 08/12/21: Probable encounter with SCP-682. Crossing Colorado River on Hwy. 163 N. of Laughlin ruins (35.17, -114.60). SCP-2490 caught up with me again on bridge, teleporting within 8m. Before strike, large fast-moving reptilian emerged from river and bit it in half. As reptile sank back in water I think it spoke (fairly sure not auditory hallucination):
SCP-682 (probable): We are alike now, meat. Killing you would only end suffering.
Item: SCP-1056
Tissue Test Record: Tissue was resized to a smaller size without incident.
Termination Test Record:
The aim of this test was to measure how long it would take 682 to return to its usual size after being resized via SCP-1056. Depending on the results, this would have given new opportunities for containment or termination of SCP-682.
For this test, a chamber was constructed to the same dimensions of 1056's platform so the platform could act as the floor for the chamber. The cable connected to 1056's dial had been fed into a control room below so the dial could manipulated from here.
SCP-682 is introduced into the chamber. The chamber is sealed after 682 has entered. The dial is set to 0.25 and activation button pressed.
SCP-682 makes numerous vocalisations and appears to experience multiple convulsions. Various points of 682's body expand and retract. SCP-682 then disappears. All scans of the containment chamber reveal no signs of 682.
The containment chamber remains sealed for several hours, believing SCP-682 is still in the chamber and will ambush personnel once the chamber is opened. At 16:57 local time, SCP-682 is spotted outside of Site-19 having resized itself, breaching containment.
MTF-Lambda-9 ("Big Fucking Guns") is deployed. SCP-682 releases a wave of energy appearing to cause MTF-Lambda-9 to disappear. Lambda-9 is subsequently found later having been resized (For further info please see SCP-3198).
SCP-682 is eventually incapacitated and contained by other MTF teams.
Notes: Whilst it was expected that 682 would possibly be able to manipulate its size to counteract 1056, it was not expected that 1056 would enhance its existing ability to resize itself. It used this to shrink to a size far exceeding that of 1056's capabilities to escape containment. It is unknown how 682 was also able to manipulate the size of other objects and it's unlikely we will ever know due to the dangers of repeating this test. - Dr. Sanders
Item: SCP-500
Tissue Test Record: N/A
Termination Test Record:
O5-8 note: Whoever proposed this test is hereby banned from making proposals to the Termination Log. Not only would this test be a waste of a valuable resource, we don't know what it would accomplish or what effects it would have on SCP-682. For all we know, it could make the damn thing even harder to contain.
Item: Y-909
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record: A small amount (1g) of unrefined Y-909 was added to the hydrochloric acid used to contain SCP-682. Within a few minutes, SCP-682 showed a small but noticeable decrease in its resistance to the acid. A solution with a 1:4 dilution ratio was introduced next, upon which SCP-682 began to shriek in pain and anguish as the acid dissolved its body, losing an estimated 70% of its total mass. After a period of just over ten hours, SCP-682 began to regenerate its lost limbs and had returned to 100% functionality within twelve.
Notes: Interesting. If SCP-682's regenerative capabilities have a mnemonic component, would repeated exposure remove them entirely? What about exposure to [REDACTED]? Further testing is required. -Dr. Ramachandra
Addendum: Note from O5-2: Proposal to move SCP-682 to the Ganges Fan denied.
Aside from the astronomical cost of moving the thing halfway across the world and nearly a kilometer under the ocean, aside from the unfathomable difficulty of preventing either or both entities from breaching containment, we can't possibly know how SCP-682 and SCP-3000 would interact. What if it grows to the same size as SCP-3000? What if it learns to replicate the eel's amnestic properties, or worse yet, amplify them? We simply have no idea what would happen if these two highly dangerous, highly unpredictable entities were introduced to one another and no way to test any theories safely or reliably.
Periodic addition of Y-909 to SCP-682's containment area will be taken under consideration.
Item: SCP-393
Tissue Test Record: None
Termination Test Record: From the testing log of SCP-393.
Test 393-4
Begin Log:
Subject: 1 linked D-class, male
Description: New subject instructed to do nothing of note for the day of ██/█/2███, and is continually monitored by CCTV.
Written: ' Going to somehow defeat SCP-682 today.'
Outcome: Outcome is identical to previous test, save for the frozen expression of horror on the comatose subject's face. SCP-393 links to stand-by D-class.
Note: It was worth a shot.. - Research Assistant ██████
End Log
Item: Dr. King, accompanied by 10 trained and armed security guards
Tissue Test Record: N/A
Termination Test Record: Personnel entered containment chamber of SCP-682. All personnel retained at least 25 meters of distance. Guards readied to shoot. SCP-682 sniffed the air and then laughed.
SCP-682: You call those bullets?
Dr. King and Guards appear confused. All shots were unloaded, then guards were shocked as the bullets were actually apple seeds. They stated that they had made sure to double check the magazines before entering the chamber. Dr. King leaves furiously, with the guards to follow.
"If only SCP-682 could have turned into an apple seed…" — Dr. King
Item: One domesticed Equus ferus, deceased, one baseball bat.
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record: SCP-682 picked up baseball bat and begun to swing it at the deceased equine. SCP-682 appeared to enjoy beating the test material. SCP-682 returned to containment.
Notes: Success!
Item: SCP-1370
Tissue Test Record:
SCP-1370 was defeated by the tissue sample.
Termination Test Record:
<Begin Log>
[SCP-1370 is placed in the testing area.]
SCP-1370 Free! Free at last! All will be crushed under the heel of Doombot! Nothing shall live when I am done.
SCP-682 Good plan. Can I help, master?
[SCP-1370 attempts to climb on top of SCP-682]
SCP-1370 Yes! A ignoble steed of destruction for President Death. Together, the Droid of Despair will be even more unstoppable!
[At this point testing was stopped. SCP-1370 was removed, and SCP-682 submerged in acid.]
<End Log>
Notes: Following this encounter SCP-1370 has demonstrated a 10% increase in lethality. The difference is insignificant
Item: SCP-3309
Tissue Test Record: N/A
Termination Test Record:
Item: SCP-923
Tissue Test Record:
Overridden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record:
SCP-923 is commanded to fire at SCP-682 (whose half damaged body was placed in an isolated field in Kansas) with Intensity: 75 when SCP-682 regenerates its brain fully. When fired upon, SCP-682 screams, snarls and utters several expletives directed towards the sky itself and the Foundation (target is clearly in a state of mental degradation for the time being). When the firing ceases, SCP-682 begins to augment its body to have several glowing nodes that emit beams similar to SCP-923's Intensity: 75 attack. The attacks were directed towards the nearest humans (closest of which here 50 kilometers away) and then at several foundation facilities.
Notes: SCP-682 seams to have a recurring pattern of taking in the effects of mental augmentations (such as SCP-999) and redirecting them back out when the augmentation ceases. Caution should be advised in the use of attempting to mentally augment SCP-682 to prevent it redirecting the effect outwards. -Dr. Carly
Note: You've only just now noticed that 682 adapts itself against the [EXPLETIVE REDACTED] we throw at it? You never once thought that this would happen? When I find out who allowed this test I'm going to [REDACTED]. -Dr. █████
Item: "SCP-682 killer", dispensed from SCP-294
Tissue Test Record: Upon contact with the liquid, sample began to crumble and decay, diminished to a fine powder within three (3) minutes of application.
Termination Test Record: Acid in the containment chamber of SCP-682 was temporarily receded. Approximately one (1) liter of the dispensed liquid was poured on the head of SCP-682. Portions of SCP-682's head began to decay and crumble. Upon submersion of the containment chamber, the affected areas immediately dissolved.
Note: We may be on to something. If we can get our hands on a large enough sample of the fluid, that might just do the trick. We're learning, I'm telling you. -Dr. █████████
Item: SCP-████
Tissue Test Record: SCP-████ replaced the tissue with SCP-████'s memetic [REDACTED]. Everything that references the tissue or it's transformation ██████ ████ █████ ███ ████ completed bodily inversion of ██████ █████ until no eyes were completed.
Termination Test Record: [HAZARD REDACTED] Breach averted with on-site hallucinogens. SCP-682 was returned to it's chamber without incident. The rays emitted by SCP-682 seemed to only effect reflective surfaces infected by SCP-████ and not SCP-████'s microreality damages. Three SCP-████-D instances were created and promptly placed into complete darkness. A single SCP-████-3 instance entered the baseline reality but quickly panicked and returned to it's own [REDACTED] presumably from seeing SCP-682 and/or Agent █████████'s Schrödinger-Class neurosurgery kit.
Note: O5 command and SCP-682 have unanimously agreed to never reference this test outside of this log. Further testing with SCP-████ is punishable by immediate incineration.
Item: Expolatory Mission 2935.2, Codename: Overland
Test Tissue Record: Overriden by O5-Command
Termination Test Record: Audio and footage are presented for SCP-682. SCP-682 initially displays disgust at the presence of MTF Epsilon-13 "Manifest Destiny." However, over the course of SCP-682's observation of the footage, it is noticed to become increasingly agitated and demands to know what universe this is from. Upon the mention of 'the lizard' SCP-682 vocalized a sound described by personnel present as akin to a child's squeak. When the corpse of the SCP-682 found in SCP-2935 is shown, SCP-682 began to vocalize a loud, high pitched noise for several hours while also thrashing and clawing at its containment, demanding to be released "before it kills me!" After this behavior concluded, SCP-682 was notably subdued for several weeks, before asking what became of SCP-2935. Upon being informed of the actions of MTF "Manifest Destiny" sealing themselves within the reality, it made the following statement: "They have my most sincere gratitude."
Item: SCP-2855
Tissue Test Record: n/a
Termination Test Record: SCP-2855 was sold to O5-█ by O5-██ as "A man who can permanently destroy SCP-682, and will do so immediately upon completion of this transaction." Upon completion of this transaction, SCP-2855 disappeared for exactly one hour. No reaction was observed from SCP-682 during this time. At the end of this period, SCP-2855 reappeared next to O5-█. It displayed no memory of what, if anything, had transpired within the past hour, but delivered a piece of paper containing the following message:
Oops! Dr. Wondertainment offers the sincerest of apologies for the unanticipated malfunction of your Mr. MoneyTM. We will be working to correct this error in future products.
Note: Well, at least someone else is working on it too. -O5-█
Item: SCP-988
Tissue sample: N/A
Termination test record: During a containment breach SCP-988 was labled 'SCP-079 CONTAINMENT CHAMBER - EUCLID - SAPIENT/MANIPULATIVE/COMPUTATIONAL HAZARD - HANDLE WITH CARE" with the hope that SCP-682 would open it. When encountering SCP-988 SCP-682 carefully picked up the object and turned it upside down before attempting to escape into the outer sectors of the facility.
Note: SCP-682 knew not to open it apparently, Since SCP-682 seems to be honestly not very bright outside of extra-real elder things we can assume whatever is inside SCP-988 might be bad if it got out. - Abnormal Probability Technician Alfred
Item: SCP-512
Tissue Test Record:
Tissue sample completely ionized.
Termination Test Record:
SCP-682 was fed a metal based diet for a few weeks by tossing heaps of recycle waste into its containment prior to testing. SCP-682 was blown up by several standard grenades and its remain put into an airtight bag and filled with helium gas. Bag was attached to SCP-512's handle and allowed upwards. After ten minutes, a massive lightning barrage stuck SCP-682 due to a combination of SCP-682's metallic composition and SCP-512's natural effect. SCP-682's mostly disintegrated with the intact tissue being chunks of electrified muscle melded onto metal bones. SCP-682 was presumed destroyed until the muscle began to twitch and gather thousands of lightning bolts and quickly reformed into a body of flesh, metal and electricity. SCP-682 started to attract and repel metal around it randomly and use tendrils of energy to grab onto personnel to consume until it's body's metallic composition was replaced with organic materials.
Note: It appears that SCP-682 prefers carbon based material over metal. -Dr. Carly
Item: SCP-2439
Tissue sample: N/A
Termination test record: N/A
Note: At this time, there is no SCP-2439 in the Foundation's logs. The test was suggested by D-6177 who, upon being questioned, acted nervous and insisted we were right, and they were just joking. D-6177 was later found in a supply closet, having been beaten and severely injured by various other D-Class personnel. They are currently recovering and have not mentioned anything regarding this "joke" since.
NOTE: "Maybe we're overthinking this. There are still a lot of non-anomalous things we should try." -Dr. Carlson.
Item: 1 ton of liquid nitrogen.
Tissue Test Record: Sample froze solid. When struck by a hammer, it shattered.
Termination test record: The nitrogen was poured onto SCP-682 from above. SCP-682 became frozen solid and remained so for approximately 10 minutes, until it began generating intense heat from within. SCP-682 was fully thawed within 3 minutes, but continued to increase its body temperature. Test aborted when SCP-682's body became so hot that it began to melt through the sides of its containment chamber.
Note: Interesting, it retained the adaption even after it was no longer necessary. Maybe we should be more careful. -Dr. Carlson
Item: Vacuum
Tissue Test Record: n/a
Termination Test Record: SCP-████ was used to remove 99% of the air from SCP-682's containment chamber. SCP-682 appeared to enter a dormant state, exhibiting nearly undetectable life signs for the duration of the test. However, readings indicated that the chamber had begun to fill with a gas mixture consisting of 56% ozone, 23% chlorine, 18% xenon, and 3% [DATA EXPUNGED]. Upon reaching a density of ██ kg/m3, the mixture began to react chemically with the walls of the containment chamber, creating a substance similar to [DATA EXPUNGED]. A sample of the mixture was taken, and the test was then aborted. When normal Earth atmosphere was reintroduced to the chamber, it reacted with the mixture, causing an explosion that destroyed the blast door of the testing chamber. Fortunately, the explosion also damaged SCP-682 significantly, preventing a containment breach.
Note: No wonder this thing's so durable, if that's what its native atmosphere is like. -Dr. Carlson.
Item: Extremely high temperatures.
Tissue Test Record: Tissue sample was placed in a specially designed oven and heated to ████ Kelvin. Tissue caught fire and burned to non-anomalous ash.
Termination Test Record: SCP-682 was released into a testing room outfitted with heating coils identical to those used in the tissue test. The chamber was heated to ███ Kelvin, at which point SCP-682 developed a secondary carapace composed of solid helium. Carapace did not evaporate in the high temperatures as expected. The test was aborted, SCP-682 was sedated, and the temperature reduced to human-survivable temperatures, but the carapace remained in place. When D-class personnel entered the testing room to facilitate SCP-682's return to its containment chamber, the carapace shattered, shredding all personnel in the room and reducing the temperature to ███ Kelvin.
Note: This thing is smarter than we give it credit for. It baited us! -Dr. Carlson.
Item: High levels of gamma radiation.
Tissue Test Record: Tissue sample experienced complete cellular breakdown, as expected.
Termination Test Record: Denied by O5-█.
Note: Unfortunately, the risk of SCP-682 becoming permanently radioactive is still too great. O5-█.
Item: An industrial-grade blender, followed by "the strongest centrifuge we can come up with."
Tissue Test Record: Tissue was reduced to a liquid state by the blender, then placed in the centrifuge. The centrifuge's rate of rotation was steadily increased until it reached ███ RPM, at which point the tissue sample violently exploded, severely injuring 12 personnel and nearly killing Dr. Carlson. The radiation emitted by the explosion was consistent with the annihilation of 3 █g of antimatter.
Termination Test Record. Denied by O5-█, given the results of the tissue test.
Note: How the [EXPLETIVE REMOVED] does this thing not explode?! It's got [EXPLETIVE REMOVED] antimatter in it!
Item: SCP-101
Tissue Test Record: Tissue sample was consumed without issue.
Termination Test Record: Impossible, due to the large size difference between the two objects. Should SCP-682 ever be reduced to a small enough size, this test will be attempted.
Item: SCP-1569, SCP-499 and SCP-1724
Tissue Test Record: Denied by O5-█
Termination Test Record: Denied by O5-█
Note: As interesting as these encounters could be, we cannot risk pointless losses of these valuable specimen.
Item: SCP-606
Tissue test record: Denied by O5-█
Termination test record:Denied by O5-█
Note: Can't do that. Assuming that 606 would even try to "enlighten" 682 in the first place, 682 knows too much about Scps and the foundation in general. 606 knowing too much about either of these things could end badly. Denied.
Item: SCP-3521
Tissue test record: N/A
Termination test record:
SCP-682 was moved into an abandoned testing facility. There are no populations or human residences within 20 kilometers, and to insure there would be no trespassers, the surrounding area is fenced off. SCP-682 was then fed a recently deceased Bos taurus carcass with one instance of SCP-3521 hidden within.
<Begin Log>
<4 seconds> SCP-682 completely consumes the carcass.
<10 seconds> SCP-682: What is this?
<13 seconds> SCP-682 falls to the ground
<15 seconds> SCP-682: [EXPLETIVE REDACTED]
<23 seconds> The entire testing facility was completely consumed by bananas at this point, and the surrounding area became extremely radioactive. SCP-682 is still being observed via thermal cameras and goggles.
<30 seconds> SCP-682 has ceased all movement. Whether this is due to not being able to move under the bananas, or if termination was successful was unknown.
<2 minutes, 40 seconds> SCP-682 is observed to be rapidly consuming the bananas.
<4 minutes, 3 seconds> SCP-682 speeds up. It is estimated that SCP-682 is consuming bananas at a rate of 40,000 g/s.
<7 minutes, 9 seconds> SCP-682 has consumed roughly 70% of the bananas. The head of SCP-682 is able to be seen.
<7 minutes, 12 seconds> SCP-682: Going to… (unintelligible)
7 minutes, 20 seconds> SCP-682 emits an extremely loud roar measuring at 120 decibels. The area surrounding the testing facility seems to "waver"
7 minutes, 34 seconds> A pale yellow ray emits from SCP-682's mouth, coming into contact with the surrounding helicopters. Said ray is extremely radioactive measuring in at 2,000 roentgens.
<End Log>
SCP-682 soon escaped the surrounding testing area. SCP-682 was eventually recaptured, and while in containment, SCP-682 emitted ███ roentgens for the next 72 hours before ceasing radioactive activity.
Note: What? Seriously? How did 682 eat all of those bananas? Where did all of it even go? 9.12 million kilograms of bananas and extreme radioactivity failed to incapacitate 682 for longer then 10 minutes. Where do we even go from here?
-Dr. ████
Item: Reconstruction/recovery of SCP-407.
Tissue Test Record: Denied by O5 Council.
Termination Test Record: Denied by O5 Council.
Addendum: Note from O5-7: You people think this is a joke, don't you? Are you all taking bets to see who can come up with the most ridiculous and over the top termination proposals you can imagine just for fun like a bunch of children? Giggling amongst yourselves in amusement as we struggle to kill the damned thing? Is that it?
Well, not anymore. So far, we have had proposals to use SCP-106, SCP-500, both SCP-173 and SCP-096 in the same proposal, high altitude impact, SCP-3042, among several others you all have no knowledge of because they're too idiotic to even deserve recognition. And now, someone has proposed using SCP-407. A simple skim reading will demonstrate the enormous risks and resources required in such an undertaking.
This stops now.
Let me be absolutely clear: SCP-682 is one of the most dangerous entities we have ever managed to contain. It wants our entire species dead and given its abilities, it could very well accomplish this. It is completely alien to our understanding of reality in almost every sense of the word. Imagine if it broke containment and we were forced to detonate a nuclear device. Go ahead. Let it sink in; what could happen if it adapted to one of our most powerful weapons. We wouldn't just be boned beyond belief: it would be the end of mankind. Nothing could stop it, and I can already guess some believe using other SCPs could work. It won't. That will only make things worse. It always does.
This isn't a fucking game, damn it! This is a battle for the survival of our species, and it is almost certain we are running out of time and options. And once we run out of both, well…there are two options: kill yourself, or wait for it to find you. Just be sure to turn out the lights if you're the last one left.
So either help…or don't help at all.


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BEANE, Ada L.
BEANE, Ada L. -- Entered into rest on April 6, 2001 at the age of 80. Beloved wife of the late Van Buren Beane Sr. for 40 years. Loving mother of Van Buren Beane, Beverly Steman, Pamela Ketcil & the late Robert Beane. Adored grandmother of Van, Beau, Jay Beane, Lisa, Angie, Joey Passarella, Deena Gilbert, John Rattaro & Matt Ketcik and the great-grandmother of 5. She was a decorated WAC in the US Army during WWII working in the Headquarters of General Eisenhower and Northern France. She earned the European African Middle Eastern Theater Ribbon w/1 Bronze Battle Star, 4 Overseas Service Bars. WAAC Service Ribbon, Good Conduct Medal. While in the service in France she met her husband to be Van Buren Beane, who was also serving his country during WWII in the US Army in France. They got married after the War in San Francisco. Friends may visit after 4PM on Monday, April 9th at Garden Chapel, 885 El Camino Real, So.SF. Liturgy Service will be Tuesday, April 10th, 11AM at Garden Chapel. Committal Holy Cross Cemetery. Contributions may be made to the Kaiser Permanente Hospice Program, 4131 Geary Blvd., 3rd Floor, San Francisco, CA 94118 Garden Chapel Funeral Directors (650) 583-2510


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Charles Aquadro
Charles "Chip" Aquadro is a Stephen H. Weiss Presidential Fellow at Cornell, a professor in the Department of Molecular Biology and Genetics, and director of the Cornell Center for Comparative and Population Genomics. He holds a PhD from the University of Georgia, an MS from the University of Vermont, and a BS from St. Lawrence University, which also awarded him an honorary PhD in 2016.
"I am a research scientist and educator," writes Chip. "I view these responsibilities as part of a continuum that runs from current students to alumni to the general public. My research is focused on discovering basic principles that determine the amount of diversity that exists within and between the genomes of organisms, and how we can use that diversity to understand organismal diversity, to discover novel genes, to maximize human health, and to advance agriculture."
In addition to teaching, Chip has served as scientific advisor to NOVA, WGBH, and the Discovery Channel and has authored numerous articles for scientific journals.


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"The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences" Proverbs 18:21.
While talking to a friend, she wanted God to save her marriage. So we prayed together and a few days later, she came to me saying how frustrated she was and how she wanted out. I told her to get some duct tape and put it over her mouth because she was messing up what God wanted to do in her home with her words. In one breath it was, "Lord save my relationship." In another breath it was, "This man is the devil! I'm out of here."
Well maybe you're in a relationship with someone that acts like the devil, or maybe your boss or parent behaves like the devil, and you don't know what to do. You want to see a change, but you don't think you have the patience or strength to wait it out while God does whatever He's going to do. In this situation, you need understanding. The Bible says understanding will keep you (see Proverbs 2:11). It will help keep your tongue, and it will keep your mind.
Understanding is God's mind on the matter. Let Him show you what He thinks about the situation you're in and what He wants you to do.
Prayer: Father God, thank You for speaking directly to my heart. I repent for the things I've been saying. Give me understanding and help me keep my mouth. Help me not cancel my prayers through wrong talking. Be glorified in this situation. I'll cooperate with You. In Jesus name, Amen.
(Read James 1:5-7)