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The Major Benefits that You Will Get from Wholesale Online Vaping Stores
It is beneficial to buy from wholesale vaping shop supplies since it saves money. You find that with wholesale they give wholesale Juul vapor at a discounted amount of money which you can as well sell to others at a higher price. Not only that but they will also provide you with free transportation services as this will prevent you from using your money for transportation. You will also be in a position to relax since you will not have into undergoing the stressful activity of transporting your goods. In this case you will have to get lo-key box batteries wholesale, Juul device kits at some affordable rates than when you are buying them from retail shops.
Apart from that, online wholesale vaping supplies have a wide variety of vaping products. This is important as it will make sure that you get the Juul vaping pods of your choice. Therefore, you will not have to buy what you don't want. You are likely to lose what you want from retail shops since they only deal with some few varieties that their esteemed customers like. Apart from that, they also deal with varying types of Juul widespread devices that you can use.
Another benefit with online wholesale vaping supplies is that they have replacing components. You never know that you may need the replacement for electronic cigarettes, battery charges among others that you will not get from the retails supplies. Apart from that, they also have different components for all the models that you might be looking for. One good thing with this is that at all the time you will be in a position to use the device due to ready replacements.
Additionally, it is beneficial to purchase from the online wholesale vaping stores because of the rapid delivery. With this, you will be in a position to lay your hands on the items once you make the purchase depending on your agreement with the vendor. You can as well plan with the goods you are about to receive since there will never fail. Additionally, you can provide your customer particular time that they will get the good whenever they arise. This is one way in which you gain the trust of your customers.
Most of the people even like online stores since they are convenient and reliable. One thing with vaping online stores is that they are convenient and dependable. Meaning that you will have the opportunity of getting the supplies anytime you feel like even in the middle of the night. Once you place an order they will have the supplies delivered at your doorstep at the agreed time.


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Trial Profile
A Multicenter, Open-Label, Three-Arm, Active-Controlled Study to Assess the Efficacy and Safety of the Oral Contraceptive SH T00186D in Two Flexible Extended Regimens and a Conventional Regimen of Yaz in 1756 Healthy Females for 1 Year.
Phase of Trial: Phase III
Latest Information Update: 07 May 2014
At a glance
- Drugs Drospirenone/ethinylestradiol (Primary)
- Indications Pregnancy
- Focus Therapeutic Use
- Sponsors Bayer
- 29 Jun 2012 Actual patient number changed from 1885 to 1887 as reported by ClinicalTrials.gov.
- 18 Dec 2009 Status changed from active, no longer recruiting to completed as reported by ClinicalTrials.gov.
- 18 Dec 2009 Actual end date (Nov 2009) and actual patient no (1885) added as reported by ClinicalTrials.gov.

subset: commoncrawl


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Trial Profile
A phase II randomized, double-blinded, placebo-controlled, multi-center study of subcutaneous daclizumab in patients with active, relapsing forms of multiple sclerosis.
Phase of Trial: Phase II
Latest Information Update: 22 Jun 2017
At a glance
- Drugs Daclizumab (Primary)
- Indications Multiple sclerosis
- Focus Pharmacodynamics; Therapeutic Use
- Acronyms CHOICE
- 12 Apr 2011 Results presetned at the 63rd Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Neurology, according to a Biogen Idec media release.
- 05 Apr 2010 Results from two pharmacodynamic substudies will be presented at the 62nd Annual Meeting of the American Academy of Neurology, according to a Facet Biotech media release.
- 01 Apr 2010 Results published in Lancet Neurology.
Most Recent Events
Table of Contents
- At a glance
- Trial Overview
- Trial Details
- Interventions
- Results
- Authors
- Trial Centres
- Trial History
- References


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- alexzanderdauschAsked on January 13, 2016 at 04:10 PM
I am a Student Services Coordinator and jack of all trades at a vocational school that serves about 300 students per year. I discovered and started using JotForms just over a year ago and since then I have built and implemented some totally amazing forms to allow people to apply online and many other things, because of how awesome JotForms is. Recently, my school decided to transition to a database system called Blackbaud. This is a very heavy and non-user-freindly database system with just an awful form builder. I have been wrestling with it endlessly. All the while my Jotforms are looking great, working great and functioning correctly. Even though Blackbaud is usually integrated by a large team of people, I have been tasked with the integration all by myself. It is nearly impossible to do, given that I have like 5 other jobs here.
All of that being said, my question is this: Is there any sort of searchable database system I can send Jotform information to and integrate with the forms that are submitted in order to avoid moving away from JotForms and continuing with the awful and dreaded Blackbaud. I already integrate the application forms with Google spreadsheets, Drive, Constant Contact and PayPal. That's all well and good, but I need to be able to use a database system where I can see student profiles, differentiate between who is accepted, enrolled, finished, etc. Please advise on anything I can do.
AlexPage URL:
- JotForm SupportEltonCrisAnswered on January 13, 2016 at 09:21 PM
Hello Alex,
Thank you for sharing your positive experience with Joform, that really puts a smile in our face. :)
Anyway, while we do not have a direct feature for that, we suggest to find a perfect service that meets your requirement and that allows Jotform integration over Zapier. If you aren't familiar with Zapier, I suggest to check this article: http://www.jotform.com/blog/65-JotForm-is-now-on-Zapier-Send-Your-Form-Data-to-100-Web-Services. While I can't provide you a specific service that offers such feature, I suggest to consider these CRMs https://zapier.com/zapbook/#sort=popular&filter=crm.
Alternatively, you can also send Jotform to your MySQL database, this requires basic experience with PHP scripting. Guide: http://www.jotform.com/help/126-How-to-Insert-Update-Submissions-to-Your-MySQL-Database-Using-PHP
If there's anything else you need help with, please let us know and we'd be happy to help you.
Thank you so much!
- JotForm SupportEltonCrisAnswered on January 13, 2016 at 09:26 PM
And by the way, you might want to consider other Interlogy's product aside from Jotform like the Profile Manager Basic. This might suit your needs. http://interlogy.com/products/. This is a very simple membership platform that allows you to customize every forms.


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If you want to go past the basics of working with methods in Java, this article is for you. You will learn about methods returning no values, methods accepting parameters, and more.
This series introduces you to learning object oriented programming in Java visually using NetBeans IDE. In this article, I try to go in-depth on working with methods in Java. I mainly try to cover the following concepts:
I already introduced NetBeans IDE in my first article Developing Java Applications using NetBeans. Even though that article is fairly introductory, the next two articles concentrate on the basics of JFC. You can find the next two articles here and here.
If you are new to NetBeans IDE, I strongly suggest you go through the existing articles first, before proceeding with this one. If you are new to OOP in Java using NetBeans IDE, I suggest you go through my first article in this same series. If you are new to developing Microsoft SQL Server-based Java applications, I request you go through another article of mine (of course, this is part of a series as well) called "Developing SQL Server based Java Applications using NetBeans IDE."
Methods returning no value: demo
In my previous article (the first in this series), I introduced OOP in Java with a simple example. Now, I shall use the same application and extend it as much as possible.
By now, I believe that you already know about classes, instances/objects, members, fields/attributes, methods and other buzz words. If not, go through my first article in this series. In this article, I shall go into detail about methods and their usage in Java.
Now, open your previous application (or download it from my previous article) and open MyCalc.java. Modify your code so that it looks something like the following:
package MyPack;
/** * * @author Administrator */public class MyCalc {
int x=0; int y=0; int z=0;
/** Creates a new instance of MyCalc */ public MyCalc() { }
public void calcSum() { z = x + y; }
Now, get back to the frame test.java. Double click on it to open and finally double click on the button to open source view. Within the source view, modify your buttonActionPerformed in such a way that it looks like the following:
private void btnShowActionPerformed(java.awt.event.ActionEventevt) {// TODO add your handling code here: MyCalc obj1 = new MyCalc(); MyCalc obj2 = new MyCalc();
obj1.x = 10; obj1.y = 20; obj1.calcSum();
obj2.x = 100; obj2.y = 200; obj2.calcSum();
this.lblMsg.setText("Sum = " + String.valueOf(obj1.z)); this.lblMsg2.setText("Sum = " + String.valueOf(obj2.z)); }
The next section will explain the above code.


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Autumn Festival FlyerThis "Autumn Festival Flyer" is perfect for the promotion of Every Fall Events, Fall Parties, Fall Musicals, Fall Festivals, Fall Concerts, or Whatever You Want!
With easy to customized and well organized file, it helps you to edit the content of this flyer even in a short time!
- PSD files 8.27×11.69 (with bleed)
- Ai files 8.27×11.69 (with bleed)
- Fully Layered Ai & PSD file.
- Fully Customizable and Editable.
- Artboard size A4
- CMYK @ 300 DPI – Print-ready.
- 100% Vector on Ai
Please, if you like it, take some time to rate it and share it!
Thanks again for your support, It is greatly appreciated.
The Good Store.


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With a massive U.S. corn crop making its way to the bin, it's nice to be reminded global food demand continues to grow. Liam Condon, Bayer CropScience CEO, did just that at Bayer's annual press conference in Monheim, Germany.
As is common with ag company CEOs, Condon led off by reminding folks the world population is expected to hit 9 billion by 2050. Since the industry is dependent on weather and land is a finite resource, he says increased productivity is an absolute must to feed the world.
Speaking of productivity, Condon notes the European Union experienced a wheat shortfall from 2004 to 2012.
Interestingly, Bayer revealed plans for a new wheat portfolio of products, from which they expect a new variety to launch sometime next year. Adrian Percy, Bayer CropScience's head of research and development, says the strategy is a three-pronged approach.
First, growers will see advancements in Bayer's portfolio of wheat crop protection products. Next, Percy says breeders are working on a hybrid wheat variety. Finally, the team hopes to bring GMO wheat to the market sometime in the future. Percy notes inserting traits into wheat is a long-term goal.
Related: Wheat Groups Again Support Biotech Research, Future Commercialization
With all of this investment, Condon says Bayer hopes to see significant wheat yield improvements by 2020.
Condon, and virtually every other member of the senior leadership, spoke at length on product registration. "In Europe, the regulatory climate is becoming less scientific," Condon says.
Most assume a crop giant like Bayer is a proponent of a more relaxed regulatory environment. Not the case, Condon says. Instead, Bayer would much prefer a reliable, predictable path for regulatory approvals. Condon says it's frustrating when arbitrary regulation changes are made at the influence of politics as often happens in Europe.
Despite fears of the EPA, Bayer leadership holds the agency in high regard. The agency is scientific and typically predictable in their process. Plus, an EPA approval usually paves the way for acceptance in other countries.
Lastly, Condon reaffirmed Bayer's commitment to the agricultural industry. The company has been around for more than 150 years. That doesn't happen, Condon says, with short-term thinking. In 2015, Bayer will invest $1.3 billion in research and development.
As part of the portfolio presentation, Condon notes they are working toward finding the next herbicide mode of action - a process that will take a minimum of 10 years after discovery and cost $250 million.
Speaking of a new mode of action, Percy says it's massively important that the entire industry is on board with stewardship this time around.


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MARLBOROUGH – A Best Buy employee was arrested Wednesday after police say he stole numerous electronics valued at more than $7,000 during the past six months.
Best Buy officials conducted an investigation after several items went missing from the Donald Lynch Boulevard store. A corporate loss prevention officer and store manager called police Wednesday after identifying employee Christopher Warman, 35, as the suspect, said police spokesman Detective Scott DeCiero.
Store officials gave police an inventory of the stolen items which included iPads, computers, Apple watches, Fitbits, a Madden 18 PlayStation 4 game, Apple airpods and Apple pencils, said DeCiero. A police report did not indicate how the items were removed from the store.
Warman, of Worcester, was arrested at the store Wednesday night.
Warman, of 203 Belmont St., Apt. 2, was charged with eight counts of larceny over $250 and one count of larceny under $250.
Jeff Malachowski can be reached at 508-490-7466 or firstname.lastname@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @JmalachowskiMW.


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Newcastle owner Mike Ashley's Sports Direct business was today named at the center of a fraud investigation.
The Evening Chronicle is today reporting The Serious Fraud Office (SFO) has began an investigation into suspected price fixing and alleged fraud at Sports Direct and also at competitor JJB.
The Office of Fair Trading (OFT) referred the case to the SFO.
In a statement today, the SFO said:
"The Serious Fraud Office can confirm that it is investigating the activities of JJB PLC and Sports Direct International PLC."
"The investigation is in to suspected offences under the Fraud Act and the Enterprise Act. This investigation follows a referral by the Office of Fair Trading."
A statement by the OFT said:
"The OFT has today executed entry warrants at two addresses as part of an investigation into alleged anti-competitive conduct in the sports goods retail sector."
"The investigation is being carried out under the Competition Act 1998 and relates to alleged breaches of EC and UK competition law."
"The OFT will not be in a position to conclude whether it considers the law has been infringed until it has completed its investigation and assessed the available evidence. The OFT's investigation is at an early stage."
JJB Sports, was granted full immunity last month from any financial penalties of up to 10% of revenue (turnover). The company also said the investigation could take years.
In return for the immunity, JJB must co-operate fully with the OFT, withdraw from any further participation in the alleged fraed, and pledge not to act in bad faith.
The company, whose shares fell 10% on the news, said it could be liable for third party damages despite the wider immunity.
The competition inquiry puts JJB back in the spotlight less than six months after the company managed to stave off bankruptcy with a late rescue deal.
Chris Ronnie bought founder Dave Whelan's (Chairman of Wigan Athletic) stake in the Wigan-based retailer in 2007 with Icelandic investor Exista. Ronnie used the shares as security against the £190M loan from Icelandic bank Kaupthing for the deal.
Chris Ronnie was fired as CEO in March after his 27.5% stake in the business had been seized by administrators when the Icelandic bank collapsed, due to the world-wide finanacial collapse.
The Sports Direct company, where Ashley s the founder later said it was assisting officials from both the OFT and SFO at its head office in Shirebrook, Nottinghamshire, but wouls make no further comment on the investigation, other than to say:
"Sports Direct's philosophy is to promote competition in the sports and leisure market and its record demonstrates this."
Let's hope this stuff will not be any distration to the Newcastle club or playing staff, but if it forces Mike to sell the club more quickly, that would be good.
95 comments so far
yes companies go under fraud investigation everyday, but what difference does that make? they only go under fraud investigation if they have done something to warrant them suspecting fraudulent activity on the companies part!!! they dont just pick random companies to investigate for the hell of it!!
"…To form an administration of this scale and complexity is a serious undertaking in itself, but it must be remembered that we are in the preliminary stage of one of the greatest battles in football history, that we are in action at many points in England an in wales, that we have to be prepared in the Mediterranean, that their battle is continuous and that many preparations have to made here at home. In this crisis I hope I may be pardoned if I do not address the Geordie nation at any length today. I hope that any of my friends and colleagues, or former colleagues, who are affected by the political reconstruction, will make all allowance for any lack of ceremony with which it has been necessary to act. I would say to the Geordie, as I said to those who have joined this football club: "I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat."
We have before us an ordeal of the most grievous kind. We have before us many, many long months of struggle and of suffering. You ask, What is our policy? I will say; "It is to wage war, with all our might and with all the strength that God can give us: to wage war against a monstrous tyranny (mike Ashley), never surpassed in the dark lamentable catalogue of human crime. That is our policy." You ask, What is our aim? I can answer with one word: Victory – victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror, victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory there is no survival."
" …We shall not flag nor fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in Cardiff and on Blackpool and Peter-borough; we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air. We shall defend our goal whatever the cost may be; we shall fight in Ipswich, don caster & reading, in Darby, & in Sheffield and on to plymoth. We shall never surrender and even if, which I do not for the moment believe, this city or a large part of it were subjugated and starving, then our empire beyond the seas, armed and guarded by the Toonarmy, will carry on the struggle until in God's good time the New World with all its power and might, sets forth to the liberation and rescue of the Old.
"well done Chris"
just to commemorate a 1st class job and long may it continue. & by by mike i will come & visit you in jail, i hear moats got a new line in toys a plastic "jail break " file. it cant get you out of jail but well p**s ourselves laughing watching you try.
To be fair you could say the fact that he's lost hundreds of millions of pounds already is definitely karma, but the problem is it's mainly us that's payed for it! Not financially, but in terms of the bullsh!t we've been through with him at the helm. In answer to your earlier question mate, my favourite player at the moment is Smith. Taylor second, Enrique third
There was always an inexplicable stench around Ashley and his co horts, was just never right from day one, one lie after another and one apparent bad decision after another, or were they planned that way.
As this story unravels it will be very interesting if we ever find out exactly what has been going on behind the scenes at St James Park.
I also read recently that whatever happens with the takeover, the club have contracted out security and catering at the ground to Ashleys holding company for the next three years and also that the takeover by the Yanks is stalling on re development land which Ashley wants to retain.
Dont think we will ever get shot of him completely.
Yeah I read that as well, wound have sounded promising if I hadn't heard it all before over the last few months. Seeing as they have no REAL info the media just seek to perpetuate this takeover saga and keep us buying their newspapers by printing vague stories about what 'may or may not happen.' As you said Jason, I'll believe it when I see it.
Big Dave // Sep 10, 2009 at 6:33 PM
"Worky has Rodders been on org lately mate? i've been looking out for him but haven't came across him in the last week."
He came back on for a while, did some of his usual 3AM shennanigans, then vanished again. I've been meaning to write him an e.mail for days now BD.
one thing that come to mind we have never sent a billionaire to jale yet the richest man sent to jail in the UK was vanhoogstasen or whatever his name was, and he was let out on appeal, although he had bragged to a tv crew that he had sent the killers to that Pakistani's door to kill him. so don't hold your breath, theirs the law for us & a special not guilty of anything law for the super rich.
i have just been looking thru the bids for the 2018 world cup does anyone think the Makems are totally taking the water with their bid, they are relying on our airport and ferry ports to bring in the fans, they are relying on our hotels, as there's are scruffy tips, Geordie food as they will not find many pigs turn up for the football, all said they are saying use our second rate muck heap, by pass a far superior bigger venue that is st James park, do an unnecessary journey when we all are concerned about global warming. use Newcastle hotels as their own is sure to fail any applied hygiene standards, probably even Kazakhstan's. they will have to travel back to Newcastle to socialize, and any case sure to be loads of Makems robbing them to. all in all not a very good this world cup idea.
Im not surprised about Ashley, its been mentioned a few times over the last few months that he is up to something. I just hope that it doesnt impact NUFC but i do wonder about all these excellent youngsters that we seem to have accumulated, especially in light of recent events at Chelsea. Ask yourselves, why would they really choose Newcastle over Man U or Arsenal who both have proven track record of developing youngsters and bringing them through to the first team?
Maybe there is no truth or foundation in what i said above, but surely isnt that a damning endictment of just how low, certainly, my and probably others peoples confidence is in the man?


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Saturday, March 6, 2010
This is titled "Wolves" It is a carved ostrich egg that I also put goldleaf on. It is a very lovely piece. It measures approx. 6.5" in height and approx 16" around. This is an original work of art and will not be reproduced.
Labels: carving, cyrstials, goldleaf, original art, ostrich egg, wolves
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text: The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon Strong's Number: 4306 Browse Lexicon Original WordWord Originpronoeofrom (4253) and (3539)Transliterated WordTDNT EntryPronoeo4:1009,636Phonetic SpellingParts of Speechpron-o-eh'-o Verb Definition to perceive before, foresee to provide, think of beforehand to provide for one to take thought for, care for a thing NAS Word Usage - Total: 3have regard 1, provide 1, respect 1 NAS Verse Count Romans12 Corinthians11 Timothy1Total3Greek lexicon based on Thayer's and Smith's Bible Dictionary plus others; this is keyed to the large Kittel and the "Theological Dictionary of the New Testament." These files are public domain.Bibliography InformationThayer and Smith. "Greek Lexicon entry for Pronoeo". "The NAS New Testament Greek Lexicon". . 1999.


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Quote:Falling Skies
It's just another day, right? Just another day in the world. Bombs fall from the sky, just take cover, right? One country's interests; force it onto another, right? I'm just living my life. I'm just waking up every day to go to work, to make money, to support myself and my little brother. I'm just trying to give him a future. I'm just trying every day to do what I can to be the best I can be and make the best of my life.
In a country blanketed with bombs every day.
I'm tired today though. There was a bomb run heavily into the night, something about a person in the area. Thankfully my building wasn't hit but others around mine were. I'm lucky too as I have the room on the ground floor, some guarantee of survival if a bomb hits the ceiling. It's another hot day too. I remember as a kid how hot the days could get. My feet would burn on the dirt ground, rocks would be really hot and the smell of the markets was the only relief from my own body's odor. The sun didn't burn me back then. It felt like a warming sensation, fuzzy, comfy. Like how my Mentor's friend overseas describes it when he's under his bed's covers all comfortable. Now a day's the sun hits my skin and it burns. Makes no sense, younger kids don't know it, but everyone older knows how I feel. Every day my Mentor talks about how the great nations are destroying the ozone and that that's why the world is getting hotter, not just because of global warming, but that's dumb. Why would they actually do that? It'd make the Earth hotter for them too. It's all these weird things he talks about that I really don't have time to care about. Agh. I just really want some water right now. Working as cleanup duty gets hard. Concrete, brick, rebar and so much other materials, cleaning up after the bombings is hard work, but pays well, right?
"Hey, you're on break, and you're red, go get some water." I looked up to my senior worker, a wrinkled old man with his head covered in cloth. I'm told being protected by the sun's rays is better than letting them hit me directly. Even with the extra layers of clothing it's safer than less clothing.
"Okay, I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Five minutes." I nodded and leaped across the top of the rubble pile down to the dirt ground. My toes rubbed the dirt between them comfortably but even with these sandals my feet were hot. I walked over to a small booth and leaned in to look for the nice old lady around.
"Hot today, huh?" My coworker walked up next to me, we were accustom to a small bottle of water for free from her, something to tie us down for the next few hours until we got off and went home.
"Yeah. It's almost getting unbearable." I wiped my arm across my forehead, I felt wet. My hair was sticky and I could feel the strands all stuck together along my scalp.
"It's alright, winter's coming. Easier heat."
"I miss rain," I chuckled and looked over at him, only his face was one of disapproval at the mentioning of such a commodity, "I'm sorry… I forgot." I looked down when the lady appeared.
"Oh you two again. I'm so happy you're clearing the street, business is returning. I have a special treat for you today." She looked at me then disappeared into the dwelling behind her only to reappear with a gallon of water and two large containers, "Save some for your brother." She nodded at me and filled our containers up, mine to three fourth quarters full, my coworker's to half full. Though he gave me a look of jealousy, he accepted the fact that the other fourth wasn't actually for me.
"Thank you." We both said and turned away when he gripped my shoulder very taught and pulled me close.
"You hide that, you understand?" I looked up at him and his eyes glared down into mine with a fierce seriousness that I hadn't seen in a long time.
"Y-yes sir." I nodded and slid the container into my backpack.
"Hey, you two are back on, come on." Our senior worker called over. We scrambled on over and began the arduous task of picking up large chucks of rubble. Eventually we had to pull out the pickaxes to break apart the bigger pieces to move around. The sun was beginning to set when my coworker worked his way over to me. I was so lost in thoughts of my life and future that he surprised me when he nudged my shoulder.
"Hey, it's getting dark, you should try to go home, the bombings lately have been coming earlier. You're just a kid."
"I'll be fine, I need the money." He looked down at me then called for our senior worker.
"Can we send him home?" I looked up at my coworker then called back to my senior coworker.
"No, I'm good. I need the money." I blinked absently at this forced proposal but the man walked over and stood at the bottom of the rubble pile then took off his cloth and wiped his short black hair and looked back at me.
"You should go."
"I don't want to, I need the money. I had to buy medical supplies for my brother earlier this month."
"I understand that but you're no good dead."
"I'll take that chance sir, please."
A long silence as my senior coworker looked over at my other coworker and shrugged, "Let the kid do as he wants." He said and walked back to the small shady nook next to the old lady's booth.
"Damn it kid. Fine, how's the water doing?" I shrugged at the question.
"I took a few sips. My brother has been getting some chills lately. I'm worried he might be getting sick again so." A sudden hand slapped onto my forehead.
"You're dry, how dehydrated are you?" I shrugged at the worry. I often worked dehydrated, vigilant of the feelings of faintness that came with heat stroke.
"It's no worries." I remarked and he was gone within minutes as we worked throughout the sunset. Long cloudy trails lined the entire horizon of the sky. I asked my Mentor one day what they were. He complained about them being what destroys the ozone, and that they're made by chemicals released by planes high up by the great nations. I shrugged it off like most of his rants. That makes no sense to me. They wouldn't possibly do that. I heard that the reason the Earth is getting hotter was because of global warming, and that the ozone layer was being destroyed by pollution, not any of that. My thoughts wandered as I worked at a stubborn piece of brick with rebar in it to my parents. They died back a few years ago in a bombing. I was old enough to be crushed by their deaths but my little brother didn't quite understand the aspect of death yet, so he took it as they disappeared in the fire and thunder. He's terrified of fire and thunder now. Though, I don't think he really remembers what happened.
"Okay, wrap up your work in the next half hour and go home." I gave a sigh of relief and continued picking down at the large brick debris. Others had started working on the pile I was on top of as it was the largest and last one covering half the road. It did cover the entire length of the road this morning so that's good progress.
"Watch yourself up there, maybe you should work a bit lower." My coworker called up to me.
"Why?" I asked back down to him as he lifted the pickaxe and threw it down shattering a large chunk of concrete into smaller manageable pieces.
"If the rubble slides down you might get hurt."
"I'll be fine, I'll just jump off if it does." He shook his head irritably then went back to work throwing chucks of concrete into wheel barrels to put into piles off the road.
I'm really hungry. With the setting of the sun a breeze began, the heat no longer stopping it. I enjoyed the feeling of warm air caressing my burning hot skin as I breathed heavily at my work. I had basically leveled the top of the pile, less worries of larger chucks falling into workers thinning out the pile. My stomach grumbled then growled as a gentle wave of pain moved through it followed by a burning sensation, a gentle but notable feeling.
"Ten minutes." My senior coworker yelled to us. I stood up straightening out my back. Most workers after a few months of this have to take a few weeks of break for their backs to recover. Mine was even starting to stiffen up painfully, almost enough to paralyze me when I stood up straight.
The remaining minutes were spent with gentle plucks at large rocks making sure not to knock them down at my coworkers.
"One minute, you guys may as well get going, call it a day." I let my pickaxe drop into the rubble and gave a long gasping sigh. My feet were sore, and my back was hurting really bad. I looked down to everyone mumbling about things. I grabbed my pickaxe and slid down the pile slowly then climbed the rest of the way to listen in.
"The bombs haven't dropped, I wonder what's going on." My coworker said to a buddy of his.
"I'm more worried about what's happening with the politics. They say revolution is on the way, the military is organizing to quell rebellion."
"Rebellion?" I asked only to be ignored.
"Keep an ear out and keep your family safe." He bid his buddy farewell then looked down at me, "Want me to walk you home?"
"Walk me home?" I laughed at this silly question.
"I'm not kidding, there's been talk of robberies in this area lately. A kid walking alone is a good target," he leaned in to whisper to me, "And all of that water on you is going to be a very fine reward." I took a moment to think this over. My Mentor always warned me of evil human beings, people who were greedy and cruel. He told me I couldn't understand the depth of evil that could happen in the world and told me to merely focus on myself, and protecting those around me, and bettering my life and theirs. He also told me to accept aid whenever I could, especially if it was free. He joked about being a freeloader.
"Okay, thank you."
"Yeah buddy, gotta watch out over the younger generations, people like you will be running this country one day. You're a hard working kid." He nodded to me and walked over to the senior coworker rationing out our pay. We all received it steadily.
"Here, take a little extra, I heard your brother might be getting sick." He handed me a second pouch and pushed it into my palm. I accepted it humbly without protest then looked back to my coworker who waited patiently for me to come over.
"I'm ready." I said and he patted my shoulder.
"Let's get going." I led the way a little. I lived a few kilometers away since the bombings were so close to where I lived. My little brother was probably preparing food, if not he was probably resting, "A long day of hard work leaves one sore. I'll probably go for a drink after I drop you off." He made small talk with me, something I appreciated, not being a fan of awkward silences.
"What's drinking like?" I looked along the long harrowing street, it was intimidating now that the familiarity of the streets was gone with the recent bombing.
"It's like. A burning sensation in your throat that makes you gasp and shake your head, and then you get really hot, and warm in the face. Then you get really cozy and comfortable. Sometimes too comfortable, and you say stupid things and do stupid things if you're not careful."
"Like what?" He laughed a little at my question then scratched his head.
"I once told a woman I wanted to lay with her and her sister." I let out a small gasp at the prospect of such an act.
"That's really… Wow." I didn't know what to say.
"Yes, yes it was. She was left in an even poorer situation due to our society. Women should have equal rights."
"Why? I thought they were made by God for man, to keep humanity alive."
"They're no different from us. Human, with feelings like the ones you have. They feel everything that you feel. Maybe they think a bit differently but that only makes them unique, precious. If everyone thought the same way, we'd never go anywhere in life." The teachings of my Mentor came to mind, he once talked about how everyone was the same but different. Some people were good and righteous and caring, and others were dark and cruel and selfish, but that they were both human's and at the end of the day they both had feelings. He talked about how enslaving a group based on something about them was wrong, because all humans deserve the right to pursue happiness. He then laughed and joked about how everyone is also allowed one mistake.
"Hey, you listening?"
"Oh, yeah. I was just thinking about what my Mentor said, how everyone is the same but different… Does that apply to Girls and Boys?"
"Yeah, yeah it does."
"But, then why are there Boys only and Girls only areas?"
"That's called segregation. It's uh… A society thing."
"Society thing?" I asked and stopped realizing I almost walked past a turn I needed to take.
"Yeah, society. It's like… It's hard to explain. Maybe another time."
"Okay." I figured I'd ask my Mentor tomorrow before work, assuming he showed up. He's been not coming over lately, and when he does he looks pale and uneasy and is always sweating like he's sick but he says he's not.
"Want to stop somewhere and get something to eat for you and your brother?" I shook my head in response.
"We already have some food. I was going to cook him some lamb I bought yesterday, something to give him strength to fight his sickness." My coworker nodded and commended me for being so watchful of my brother, and responsible. We walked for a bit towards my home way down the street. He was talking leisurely and we were walking leisurely. I looked up to the night sky and enjoyed the many stars that dotted it. Like a large world unknown and begging to be explored, always in plain sight but so far out of reach. My Mentor told me the stars had taught humanity many things throughout history including how to travel at sea and this art called Astrology. He said out there were other huge planets like Earth, only some were bigger. I still remember my shock when he told me the Sun was millions of times bigger than Earth, and how the Moon was smaller than Earth. Yet both looked the same size to me. Everything about this universe somehow fascinates me. I hope one day to become a scholar and learn a lot of things. One day maybe I'll even discover something incredible and amazing.
"Hey, we almost there?" I snapped out of my fantasy world and looked over to my coworker.
"Oh yeah, just down this way, that's my place right over there." I pointed down to the building next to another building that had a few holes in it from the bomb that dropped right across into the building across the road. I noted to him how the building was just like mine, but now it was nothing but rubble. I stated how nice it'll be when I can walk out of my home right to work when we get down to this street. I looked back and stopped when I realized I was alone, "Hello?" I turned all the way around and walked over to the side of the building closest to me where he was looking around anxiously.
"Stay back, I thought I saw someone roaming around." I stepped back confused.
"What do you mean? People walk along these paths all the time."
"Yes but this man looked suspicio—" A hard thud into my back threw me onto the ground propelling my backpack over on top of my head as I stumbled to get onto my feet again only to be kicked in the back down into the ground again.
"Stop!" I looked up to the blur of my coworker tackling someone over me. I flipped onto my back and started dragging myself away as he struggled with another man holding a knife. He was on top trying to grab the man's arms.
"What's happening?" I screamed confused. Was this one of those robbers? Why was he doing this?
"R-ru-ahhg!" I came to a halt as his voice became harsh and he gripped at the man who rolled over on top of him. I saw that the knife had entered into his ribs and was pulled out then stuck back into them again and again. A small gurgled gasp could be heard as my coworker's arms were held out trying to stop the onslaught of stabbing. I was frozen, like this entire situation was surreal and frozen in time. I felt detached from the entire thing. Was I really here? I tried to move but found my arms and feet wouldn't budge. His arms fell limp into the ground as the man rose from him, his back was like a supernatural ghost rising from the ground and at that moment I realized how real this entire situation was, and how truly placed in it I was.
"W-p-bla-ah—" My voice stumbled over its self as I tried to throw my backpack down only to fall over myself falling onto my side.
"Huhn…" A long gasp came from this man as he turned around, his entire cloak, once pure and white was stained red. Blotches covered his stomach and chest and large spots dotted his sleeves.
"T-t-t-take-take whatever you want! Just take it!" I gasped as I felt my eyes welling up in tears, what water my body had in it was coming to my eyes now as I struggled to pull off my backpack.
"Mm mm." He shook his head and lunged forward on top of me. His body seemed to flow through the air at a speed that was unnatural, only I knew in my mind that this was all natural, this was all real and this was really happening. I felt my heart throbbing and my arms shaking and my legs growing weak. My crotch felt uncomfortable like it was receding into my body as I held up my arms too scared to scream or yell, just gasping as my throat seemed to close up, defying my want to scream like a girl, a scream my parents used to tell me I should only do if I felt really, really scared, "Can't have you talking." The man said as he raised the knife up. I looked up to it glistening even in this dark with what must have been blood.
"P-pu-pu-uhhn—" My hand lifted up as if I were reaching out to the sky begging for God to save me. My voice let out quivers of sounds. My sight looked past the knife into the sky. The sight of this man's towering body pinning me down with his arm raised even higher holding what would be the weapon to kill me was one that seared its self into my very mind. My eyes focused just enough to see what looked to be a flock of birds all in a neat row flying over.
And then the world erupted into sheer roars and violent tremors. A fiery explosion of fire flew over head as the wall next to me blew apart. The man on top of me fell onto me as the building collapsed right next to us. The next bomb that hit let out a shockwave so violent it shook me unconscious.
I felt like, like I was just too scared to do anything. I was weak. My Mentor always told me to run from people trying to hurt me until I grew older and stronger. Why did I freeze? Disobedient to myself perhaps, did my body betray me, or did that man cast a curse on me? My Mentor always told me when bad things happen it was okay, because good was inevitable after that. Right? The only thing that kept me going after every bombing was those words; good was inevitable after the bad. The balance of the world. Good could only exist with bad and bad could only exist with good. I truly believed that. The sight of the sun overhead blaring into my eyes brought them open. The man on top of me was still present but he was limp, like he was sleeping. Only a lot of blood was coming from his head. I tried to pull myself free when I realized how dry my throat was. It hurt to swallow like my insides were sticking to themselves. I was under a small pile of rubble with my head sticking out, somehow nothing crushed me. I took a large breath and pulled myself with what strength I had free then shimmied myself out of the rubble and crawled over the pile. I slipped my backpack to my side sliding the strap off one arm, an act that seemed surely impossible last night. I pulled out the container and realized there was now a crack in it, probably from last night, and had all the water gone. I threw it aside and stumbled forward to my coworker's pale body lying half crushed under a large bit of the building next to us. His entire left side was crushed under debris, blood came out of his mouth and a dry lot of red dirt sat all around him. I walked, with very little strength into the street where all of the buildings were damaged in some way.
It's just another day, right?
I collapsed to my knees and crawled forward back onto my feet towards the half standing building where my little brother should have been.
Just another day in the world, right?
The sound of a continual bell ringing in my ear was now apparent. I cupped my ears as I stumbled forward on wobbly legs. I realized my arm was all cut up. My clothes were torn and pulsing hot sensations ran across my body where my skin was cut or scratched off.
Bombs fall from the sky, just take cover, right? One country's interests; force it onto another, right?
I got to my building and collapsed at the entrance of it, the main hallway had caved in a bit and my door was behind it. I called for my brother, something else that seemed impossible last night, raising my voice. No one answered, no one. I looked back and realized people lined the streets, dead people lying on the ground. Some looked like they had collapsed from walking. Others looked like they had been flung. A random arm laid on the ground, the fingers looked like they could have moved at any moment. Images of my parents flashed in my mind, my father missing his right arm, his legs crushed under rubble. My mother impaled on rebar gasping for air, both holding their hands out to each other unable to reach one another while I sat holding my brother in the corner of the room.
I'm just living my life, right? I'm just waking up every day to go to work, to make money, to support myself and my little brother, right?
I forced myself to move faster, climbing onto the rubble with my hands and feet and crawling over it, at the peak it slung over onto the wall where I needed to get to my feet and sidle across it. My foot touched a piece of rubble which collapsed causing me to fall down the small landslide of broken down building slicing open a large gash into my arm as my ankle twisted when I crashed into the dirt floor. I was hunched on the ground right next to my door. I called for my brother's name again this time, louder, becoming scared. I bit my lower lip and then grit my teeth together as I pulled myself to my feet and jumped over to the door. I turned the handle and pushed only for it to not budge. I pushed harder putting my body into it which caused it to slide in a little. Debris blocked the door. My mind raced as I called for my brother again. I bent me knee and threw myself into the door, it budged a little. I did this again and again beginning to scream for my brother, screaming for him to answer me as I slammed my body into the door until it fell open causing me to fall into the living room onto my arms. Dirt scratched into the gash on my arm sending stinging pain up and across my entire shoulder. I looked up to the sight of the entire bedroom directly across the living room space collapsed inwards. I crawled along the dirt ignoring the broken wooden table and the half destroyed small cooking room to my left.
"El?" I called out to the rubble and got to my knees at it. There was a single arm lying under a large pile in the room, a single arm lying palm outwards towards me,
"El?!" My voice trembled as I grabbed the rubble with flimsy skills from work, almost effortlessly pulling the concrete away when the sight of blood on the dirt floor came into view.
"EL!" I cried now grasping at the rocks and the bricks and the rebar, the wood and the tile from the upstairs floor. I threw it all behind me and unearthed the body of my little brother, crushed under rubble. His other arm mangled in an unnatural shape, his legs were still under some rubble but the angle of the knees told me his legs were crushed and broken too. His arm was the only thing not bumpy and bleeding. His shoulder was crushed downward and his head sat sideways on the ground with his neck jutting downwards crushed inwards. I grabbed at his arm, and I clenched his hand.
I'm just trying to give him a future— I'm just trying every day to do what I can to be the best I can be! To make the best of my life— Right?
I pulled his body up to me as I sat on my knees, his legs came out of the rubble fairly easy as I pulled him into my arms and gripped him close.
Who has this right? To kill a human being? To take away life? This is not something man should have… This is something only God should have! I felt my eyes running dry as my body had no more tears to spare, dehydrated, trying to sweat from the heat of the sun I was now becoming aware of, only because of the cold body I now clenched.
In a country blanketed with bombs every day. Death is all around me. You don't realize how terrible and disgusting it is. You don't understand how true the sensation of sheer helplessness is until death enters your life. I screamed up at the exposed sky above me, I didn't know what to say or do. I was so angry and sad. I felt so many things it was overwhelming. All I could do was scream towards the sky which brought down death every, single, day.
My brother was dead and my parents were dead because of this damned sky. Who has the right to drop such abominations on innocent people? What did El ever do? Why did he deserve to die? Why did I deserve this?
Why? I once asked that question. Why? The answer my Mentor gave me back then was so nonchalant, so bare and plain. Now, thinking back on it; chills run down my spine because the words he said were so easy to make, so easy to use in apprehension without opposing them.
He said, 'Why not?' And I realize now, at this very moment. Why did El deserve to die, why did I deserve this? It could be answered so simply, with 'Why not?' At that moment I discarded all ideals of being a Scholar and replaced them with a single belief.
No one in the great nations cares about us; why should they care?
…Why not?
Quote:Her Valentine
"Nice fall there," Alan was sitting hunched over with his hands clasped together on a chair on the lawn. All around was grass and trees as if we were in a park and behind him was the mansion he lived in. I aspired to wanting to live in such a building one day. Behind me was a line of women all waiting impatiently in their finest outfits. I was in a tight fitting dress that left me hot and sweaty, but the high heels got me. In my nervousness as he called me over to sit down I stumbled across my own feet falling palms down into the grass. Giggling and chatter occurred behind me and everyone knew I wasn't getting hired as this guy's maid. Still, I stood up and smiled and continued my walk. When I sat down his first words were complimenting me on my fall. I smiled back, "Oh, heels and grass never went well," I joked holding my smile. I'm not going to get hired, "Well, I'm a bit different, so don't think you're disqualified for tripping a little bit in those uncomfortable things," I felt my smile dull a little from surprise, "I do want to know if you have any questions," he went silent and looked passed me with those brown eyes. He looked depressed but didn't seem to care about hiding it, "Uh, questions, questions…" I mumbled as the sun beat down on my blond hair. I licked my dry lips and swallowed. The smell of grass and the buzzing of crickets and cicadas was becoming a little disorienting but all I could think about were those sad eyes of his, "I guess my only question is… Why do you look so sad?" his head perked up and his eyes met mine for the first time, no longer staring past me or wandering about the scenery.
We were both the same age then, twenty one, and we both had some odd hobbies and habits. I cleaned habitually and sewed, smiled at every misfortune to befall me. He, well, he was obsessed with how to change the world and was plagued with bouts of pathological depression. It was the first week of cleaning the mansion and I thought there'd be a few other maids about. I discovered the first day it was just me. I remembered as my smile crept along my face at my dismay of being the only one he hired. He apologized and told me I could take my time, take breaks whenever. No real work schedule. Just clean the mansion, leave a log of hours and he'll pay accordingly. He warned me that the mansion had camera's watching everywhere. Though my smile faded and I slid my palm to my hip and glared at him. He knew I wasn't here to steal anything.
Later in the week I tried to make small talk with him, "So, how did you get so much money anyway?" I remember at first I felt like it was a bad idea to ask, "Well, my Father was a CEO of a Bank, and my Mother was a CEO of an Insurance firm," I kept dusting the cabinets and display shelves in the room as he sat at the kitchen table I just wiped down reading Forbes Magazine, I stopped for a moment, two CEO's together wouldn't give a person a fortune of two trillion dollars, I didn't really know anything about him yet so I just kept silent. I just knew that if my husband, Derek, forgot to pick up our son Christian from school again— Well I guess I'd just end up treating Christian to something special because what can I do about Derek, "My Father's Grandpa was a CEO to an Oil company, his wealth was left to my Dad who never really dipped into it. My Mom's Mother was a CEO who helped found Microsoft and made money off of their success. The wealth passed to my Mom was never really dipped into either. When they both died, all of that money came to me. I'm not too fond of it," I stopped what I was doing and looked back to Alan curious about his last remark, but he had already gotten up and was walking out of the room. After several hours I came upon Alan's cat, Valentine. Cute little fur ball, except I'm not a big cat person. He mewed at me and rubbed up against my legs. Cute gray and black cat and he had rather soft green eyes but he shed a coat of hair every day. I finished up the downstairs and noted it was getting dark out. I filled out the time paperwork and made my leave back to my house. I arrived to Derek sleeping on the couch while Christian sat in front of the TV watching news about the rise of Child Pornography, "What are you watching?" I groaned and grabbed the remote from under Derek's arm then changed the channel to cartoons, "What's porn?" he turned and asked me. My five year old son wanted to know what porn was, Derek's voice answered for me, "That's adult stuff kiddo. I'll teach you all about it when you're older," he was now awake and sat up, "Hey, you sore yet?" he insinuated with a smile that I was having sex with my boss because he was wealthy. I sighed and slid past the couch when Derek slipped off it and slithered his way behind me as I walked to our room, his hands had already made contact with my butt before I was even past the kitchen entrance. I stopped at the doorway and waited for the question but I guess it's become an unspoken thing now for him. His hands gripped the underside of my ass and he forced me into the room and closed the door behind him, "…Derek, I'm tired, can we do this tomorrow?" I asked as he locked the door and looked at me from behind his shoulder, "What? Do I not f*** you good enough anymore?" I backed up and sat on the bed smiling a little, "No, I just cleaned for eight hours, my feet are sore, my hands are sore," he stepped in front of me and eyed me over, his eyes glaring at my chest, "Oh yeah? I'm really sorry to hear that, I only had to do everything for Christian today because you were gone. I had to take the week off for you, you know, what's my boss going to think?" his palms slipped onto my breasts and he shoved me into the bed as he climbed over me, his hands already gliding under my skirt grabbing at my panties. I struggling the first time this happened, I kicked and even bit him but he just slapped my face and choked me, holding me down by my throat. I learned after that to just let him use me how he wanted, I wanted to divorce him but putting a kid through a divorce can be har— Agh— Ah… b-but is being— Ugh… raped… w—…worth it? He threw me onto my stomach, pulled me onto my knees by grabbing and pulling back my hair then just shoved it in and began fucking me without a care in the world. This was happening more often. I wasn't sure how to handle it and I didn't know what to do or who to talk to. All I could do was have my head held up while he pulled my hair back, and smile with tears in my eyes.
After a year of working for Alan New Years was coming up, Derek had become withdrawn. He began drinking and would have his way with me every night. I lost my sex drive, I wasn't aroused anymore. Christian didn't seem to understand why I would go into the room fine and come out covered in bruises on my arms and legs and neck. However; Alan caught on the first day I showed up looking that way. I hadn't even gotten the mop solution mixed when he walked into the kitchen and stopped dead in his tracks looking at me. This was the night before New Years Eve, "Ann…" he said as I held the bucket to the sink filling it with water, "Alan," I said back playfully and smiled over to him but his usual mopey eyes were now sharp, "You don't need to work today. You can ta—" I dropped the bucket of water across the tile floor, as he said this my heart jumped up several beats and my hands began to shake, "No! That's okay! I-I want to work! Really, I-I need the money! Why, is something wrong? D-Did I do something wrong?!" I gasped with a wide smile as I stumbled towards the bucket but slipped and fell onto my hands and knees getting my clothes and hair wet with water and ammonia, "I-I'm sorry, I'll clean it up! I'm really sor—" I began tearing up as I apologized but he crouched down and placed his hand on mine, "Hey, relax. What's going on that you have these kinds of bruises? Is your husband—" I jerked my head up, "No! No-no-no, no, it's nothing like that!" I lied desperate and terrified that Alan would call the cops and let them know about the domestic violence, "I just had a bad fall down some stairs yesterday was all, okay? It's nothing to worry about, Alan," I didn't realize it at the time but I was smiling so bad anyone could tell I was lying. He shook his head and sat down next to me, "I know it's none of my business and that you're my employee, and you have no reason to tell me such things. But please understand that if you ever need to get out of your house. You can stay here," and with that I stayed the night in the guest bedroom. Alan had given me some extra money to get supplies to stock a guest bedroom and bathroom for myself, and if I wanted, for Christian. The next day was New Years and Derek had called me up in a rage screaming over the phone, "You stupid god damn slut, you ARE cheating on me aren't you!" my voice faltered but I found myself unable to stop smiling, "No, I—" but he interrupted me, "Shut your fucking whore mouth, I'm coming over there and you're fucking quitting that job you little slut," he hung up before I could do anything about it. Alan was lying in his bed in one of his depressed moods when Derek began hitting the front door not much later, "Ann you little f*** get out here!" I felt myself shaking as I stood at the top of the stairs looking down to the door that rattled with each hard knock. I began walking down the stairs when Alan slipped past me and got to the door first, "Wait! I'll…" I gasped helpless as he looked back at me and shook his head. He opened the door to Derek glaring him down, "You! Where's my wife…?" he growled at Alan like he was going to jump him, "She's right behind me, what's wrong?" he was calm about it, but I could see his knees were shaking from the adrenaline rush, "Where the f*** was she last night?" Alan was silent then looked back at me with this odd look, "Ann, you never told him I had you watch the mansion while I was out of town on business?" I blinked blindsided by this question. Derek's head poked in and those vicious sharp glaring eyes locked on me, "I… I forgot." I mumbled feeling ashamed. I smiled a little now but it wasn't from this odd misfortune. Why did Alan lie like that for me? He had no reason to, "I've also invited her to a small New Years Eve party tonight, I was just wondering if you'd like to—" Alan was cut off by Derek snapping, "f*** that s***, me and Christian were going somewhere already, she can decide to come with us or not. Fucking bullshit," and like that Derek had stormed off the property. The day flew by and night had come before I knew it. I was sitting in the room I had unofficially made my own. I sat in only my underwear. I had undressed to change my clothes but a bout of depression interrupting me. Alan stumbled in and stopped to look at me, "Ann…?" he mumbled. His face was a little red, "Ah! WAIT!" I squealed as he laughed and turned around, "Sorry, sorry, I thought we could have a drink to celebrate another long miserable year," I slipped on some jeans and a shirt as he waited by the door. I took a moment and decided a drink would be nice. Then eleven at night slipped by and before I knew it I was drunk, he was drunk, and we were talking about everything. He told me about how his dad died of a hard attack and instead of calling for help, just sat about and died, and about how his mom committed suicide and he was the first to find her back when he was about seven. He talked about how his Grandma was abusive trying to coerce him into signing his parents' wealth over to her. I told him how my husband would rape me every night and how my son would call me a slut. Alan one upped me by telling me his only memory of his mom was of one where he was showering with her as a child and that through that only memory of her he developed an incestuous love for her. He'd developed an attraction to red haired, hazel eyed girls. In his guilt for lusting after his mother he acquired a counter attraction for black haired, dark eyed girls, and then there was me fitting comfily in the middle. We talked about love, sex, politics, society, kids, technology. We talked about how when he renovated this mansion Fox News slandered him for spending so much money back when he was eighteen and how two years later he sued Fox News for slander after an interview and won. I found out Alan wanted to create this sort of utopian world with his money. We talked all through the night and shared our more intimate feelings about everything including how many people we've been with. It turned out Alan frequented Escort services for a while but stopped after one of the girls drugged him and tried to get his account information. I woke up the next morning puking my guts out half the day. His hangover consisted of a strong headache as he sat with me the entire day in front of the toilet. Later that night my husband called me up telling me he might be going away for a while because of his debts to some guys he gambled with. Alan overheard the conversation and made an offer to pay them all off, I didn't want to accept it. I was seeing him in a new light ever since last night. His face was different now, it shined with a beauty in my eyes and he looked attractive to me. I was in love, like the first time I saw Derek, butterflies fluttered in my stomach when I'd look at Alan. Now here he was offering to pay off Derek's debts. I caved and allowed him too, and that turned into paying off my debts, which turned into paying for my hobbies, then he fixed my debt, paid off an eviction I had, he gave Christian a college savings account to pay for the most expensive university in America. He paid off my loans for the house and car. One day I had driven up to the house and there was construction starting in a spot on the property. I shrugged it off thinking it was just a garage and went to cleaning. Alan would walk by and I'd find myself eyeing him with lusty thoughts. Derek raped me with such harsh strength, but Alan was a gentle person and perhaps he was a gentle lover too. The days passed and before I knew it I was looking at him like he was my master in some kinky way. I'd talk nice to him and would mother him out of his depressions. Derek grew more vicious every day. He'd throw me into the bed and just f*** me without mercy. He'd choke me to the point of almost blacking out. He'd call me a slut and unfaithful, a whore and a b****. Christian would hear him scream at me and he began calling me such names too. I'd come to work with more bruises than ever and Alan would always tell me to stick around if I needed to. I'd leave terrified and unsure what to do. I'd return home, cook, clean, care for Christian and when Derek got horny I'd have to let him f*** me or else he'd just hit me and suffocate me. I gave up trying to reason with it and gave in to the helplessness no longer even contemplating a divorce. He'd use me without much care, if he wanted my vagina he'd use it, if he wanted my ass he'd use it. He tried to make me deep throat him one night but after throwing up on him he never tried it again. I was miserable. I was happier at work. My parents had disowned me when they found out I was pregnant at sixteen. I had no chance of surviving on my own and I couldn't bring myself to get an abortion. I married Derek, threw my body to him in a way that had him clinging to me, helping me. To think seven years later with a seven year old son in the next room over he'd be using my body like it was his own personal sex toy. All I could do was cry smiling each and every time biting pillows from pain and clawing the sheets in misery. The days passed. I had begun showing up early in the mornings to the mansion. I made a habit of it in order to avoid waking up to Derek wanting sex. I walked up the stairs and down the scarlet hallway that led to Alan's study and his room. I set up my cleaning supplies in his study and made a quick check in his room. He was lying there silent but he wasn't asleep. He was in a depressed slump and didn't want me to know he was awake it seemed. I slipped by him and began tidying his desk stacking papers neatly, replacing pencils and pens and discarding useless scraps. He commended me for how I tidied his desk saying I was the only one to ever do it in a way he didn't find annoying. I slipped over next to his bed and the urge to just jump into it with him, to just slid myself on top of him and press my lips into his erupted through my body. My mind played it in front of me like a beautiful love scene of forbidden pleasure. I clenched my legs tight from the sudden hot pulsing in my crotch and leaned over getting closer to his ear and whispered into it, "I hope you sleep better today, you really should correct your sleep schedule," I slipped out of his bed and down the red hallway afterwards back to his study where I stubbed the toe of my heel into the coffee table and let out a yelp falling to my knees giving myself a rug burn. I got up and sighed with a slight smile at this and thought today was going to be just like any other da— "AHHHHHN—" Alan's voice echoed across the entire mansion it seemed. My heart faltered for a moment then beat without restraint. I stumbled over my own feet trying to make it to the hallway and I fell to my hands and knees then crawled to the hallway. I saw Alan lying face down on the carpet, Valentine was rubbing up against him purring, "Alan?!" I called to him but he didn't respond in any way. I ran over to him and pulled out my phone, "Alan? Alan!" I yelled and shook him. I dialed the police. I don't know why I begged or cried and gasped and wheezed myself into a panic attack screaming his address and that I needed an ambulance. The operator said to check his pulse and give him chest compressions. I dropped my phone and rolled him onto his back. I was sobbing and babbling at his body lying beneath me. My hands pushed with all my weight and strength into his chest, his skin was no longer warm. He wasn't breathing. I was screaming and begging, praying and cursing to God in this hallway on this scarlet carpet. Please don't let him die, please, just please don't die, Alan! Alan!
The paramedics came in with a defibrillator but never took it out. They said he had made a DNR back when he was eighteen, three years before I met him. He had a massive heart attack and died within minutes. I watched helplessly as this man I had come to revere as my escape from my abusive husband and my miserable life died underneath me. They slid him into a black body bag and took him away. I watched unsure of what to do. I thought I'd be smiling like I did at all the misfortunes in my life but for the first time, something so terrible happened to me that I just couldn't even do that. At Alan's funeral no one showed up. No friends, no family. I was the only one. Derek and Christian didn't ask about any of it, didn't want to know if I was okay. They didn't like Alan. They wanted me to cook and clean and f*** and help and be their maid. I didn't want to be their maid. I wasn't their maid. I watched as his casket was lowered into his grave. I was alone in the cemetery. Alan's lawyer had stopped by to pay his respects. I hadn't seen Alan's lawyer often as Alan usually left the mansion on a weekly basis to attend to business of sorts from legal to industrial. He had left and I just stood in front of Alan's grave throughout the day and throughout the night, and still longer into the next day. My feet had grown comfortably numb. My mouth hadn't smiled for an entire day for the first time in years. I stood like a blond haired, black draped statue overlooking Alan's grave. His lawyer reappeared later in the day knocking me out of my daze as he presented me with an envelope stating this was all a part of Alan's will. I received it but showed no gratitude, only nodding with glossy blue lifeless eyes. He left soon after and I slid open the large envelope and inside were several dozen papers and a single key. I eyed them all in front of Alan's grave then was thrown out of my daze into disbelief. In my hands were signed deeds by Alan and his Lawyer granting me ownership of all of his financial accounts and assets. Alan gave me everything. I pulled out the key and recognized it from the night we got drunk. He pulled out this exact same key and said it opened the locked drawer on his desk that no one was allowed into it. Several hours later I found myself standing in his room in front of his desk. It was still assorted from when I tidied it up. I crouched down to the drawer and slipped the key into the lock then turned it. I opened the drawer to several journals in the bottom. I grabbed them all and slipped onto his bed and opened the top one. It was dated back to when he was only eleven. These were diaries, recordings of his most intimate feelings.
Days passed but I couldn't put the journals down, there was a decade of entries, over a thousand of them saying he hated the person he was. Entire entries depicting the madness his Grandma put him through. Locking him in closets, grounding him at one point for an entire year, denying him money and starving him, all trying to force him to sign over his parents' wealth to her. An entire novel on the madness of humanity and the world was present. Over a thousand pages devoted to rambling and brainstorming on why humanity was the way it was. Why living was so hard. He went over how much shame and guilt he felt for having such lustful thoughts of his mother. He talked about his hopes that his family's bad genes with heart disease and all the stress he had would bring about an early heart attack and a quick painless death. He was so dead and full of dread inside I felt like I was dying by just reading these journals. But I couldn't stop. I came to the first entry where I was introduced. He called me cute. Said he liked how when I tripped walking over to sit down to be interviewed I just got up and smiled. He thought about me often in these journals. He did so much for me behind the scenes. He fixed my credit and got me off blacklists. He expunged a record of theft when I was fourteen and ensured a good name went out for me. He set me up; built me up; reset my life and took away all the wrongs I ever made. He was having a house built near the mansion. I took no notice of it when the construction began thinking it was a garage but according to these journals it was going to be a house built for me and Christian when Derek got drunk and out of control. He was going to introduce it to me on Valentine's Day. He talked about New Years and how we had talked all night. He said he had feelings for me. He couldn't tell me because I had a husband. He didn't want to ruin my life or complicate it. He talked in long stretches about me. About how he loved what kind of person I was and about how he cared for me because of who I was. He fixed everything for me because he felt he wasn't good enough for me. I read Alan's diaries as if they were a Bible. I went out to interviews with them and read them while waiting for Christian to get out of school. I read them in the dank nights when I couldn't sleep, or after Derek was drunk and choked me to the brink of suffocation. They became my escape from reality. They became my personal memento to Alan; my little pieces of him that were left behind. I came upon a page with a simple sentence on it at one point, "It's Valentine's Day and my Valentine was going to be Ann, I want to be Her Valentine but, that's not possible," I kept reading the diary for weeks. After five busy months I managed to read about everything. I'd leave for hours every day pretending to have work. I'd pay everything with the money Alan left me. I got to the last page of his final diary. It was dated at one in the morning on the day that Alan had his heart attack:
"I remembered something today. On the first week of turning eighteen I had made a DNR; to not be revived in the event my heart stops. I need to go undo that. I think I'll do that today. I should really thank Ann for this decision."
I sat there in shock reading this sentence over and over. It was all that was left of him now, the final entry to his life and his final intimate thought. Thanking me for granting him the will to live, wanting to have a second chance at life if anything ever happened to him and now it was all over. How close was it that just maybe Alan would be alive? That maybe instead of dying underneath me he would have been revived by the paramedics? That I would confess these feelings to him, that'd I'd leave my miserable life behind and join his? No more abusive Derek, no more ungrateful Christian. No more being used like a sex toy and being a maid to ungrateful monsters.
How close was it, that maybe, just maybe, I'd be happy…?


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Wow! I haven't posted in over a week. That's really bad eh? Things at work have been crazy and I get so tired that all I do when I get home is drop and fall asleep. Then I tripped when getting off a bus and hurt my knee so exercising was an on and off affair.
So, you can imagine my disappointment when I weighed in at 95.3kg this morning. Yes, I gained 0.8kg :-(. At least I'm grateful that I didn't gain more than a kilo. That would have been too much for me to handle. I'm also disappointed because I realise that I can't reach my goal of getting to Onederland by the end of the year.
Guess I'll have to push it to the second week in January 2011. By then I should weigh either 90kg or 89kg.
Anyways enough blathering. Hope you have an interesting christmas and please... watch out for the calorie-laden stuff...


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Add blog pge to a wordpress website
Budget €8-30 EUR
Need to customize post on home page and add blog page to a website.
Décerné à:
Are you looking for developer to customize post on home page and add blog page to a website? Here I am! I have 2+ years in web-development, my main area of expertise is developing websites for online stores and Plus
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Black Friday Sale: Make 2018 the year you master JavaScript
Let's make 2018 the year you master JavaScript!
From Black Friday (November 24, 2017) through Cyber Monday (November 27, 2017), I'm running the biggest sale of the year on my JS learning resources.
The Details
- All of my Vanilla JS Pocket Guides are 50% off.
- If you think you could benefit from some 1-on-1 help, my JavaScript consulting calls are also 50% off.
- Want to deep dive into JS? My private JavaScript mentoring program is 30% off for as long as you're in the program.
- Pre-order my brand new video mini courses and save 50% (more details below).
NEW: Video courses!
Many of my students have mentioned that while they learn best from watching videos, most of the courses that are available are long, boring, and overwhelming.
An 8-hour JavaScript course? Who has time for that?
I'm taking pre-orders for my new Vanilla JS Mini Courses—short, focused video courses made for beginners.
Normally, you'd save 30% by pre-ordering the course, but starting on Black Friday, you'll save 50% off the retail price! And as an added bonus, you'll also get instant access to the pocket guides, my vanilla JS toolkit, and my private Slack room.
Special bonus gifts
As if these deals weren't great enough, every pocket guide bundle, consulting call, mentor program, and mini course comes with $563 worth of bonus gifts and special discounts for other learning resources.
- Get over your fear of command line and save 30% with Remy Sharp's Terminal Training course.
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Note: Only the Pocket Guide Bundles are eligible. Individual pocket guides don't qualify, sorry!
I'm ready!
The sale kicks-off tomorrow at midnight and runs for just four days. Make 2018 the year you master JavaScript and save big!


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Local backlash over power plan
Metro East energy companies, state reps speak out against Clean Power Plan
ALTON — Congressmen and representatives from energy companies of the Metro East responded Tuesday to the administration of President Barack Obama's plans aimed at reducing carbon emissions from power plants.
The administration's "Clean Power Plan" aims to reduce carbon emissions by 32 percent from 2005 levels by 2030. Critics of the plan have said it will increase energy bills for working families and cause job loss in industry hubs like the Metro East.
States have one year to come up with a plan for complying with the emissions rule, a ruling that faces stiff opposition from Republican lawmakers and energy companies alike. St. Louis-based coal producer Peabody Energy urged lawmakers and courts to challenge the rule in a statement Monday.
"Studies show the rules will punish American families and businesses with higher energy costs and damage electric reliability, while having no notable benefit even under climate theory. They would put our energy system at serious risk and further slow our nation's tepid economic growth. A technology path – not artificial caps and taxes – is the far better approach to address carbon concerns over time," the statement from Peabody said.
A spokesperson for Dynegy, a Houston-based power plant company with a facility south of Alton, said the company is still in the process of evaluating the details of the plan. The Wood River plant burns coal as its primary fuel.
Similarly, Ameren CEO Warner Baxter said in a statement it was too soon to comment on the new rules.
"These rules will have significant long-term energy policy implications for Missouri, Illinois and our nation. The rules are extensive and complex, so it is premature for us to comment until we have analyzed their impact on our 20-year energy plan, our operations and ultimately our customers. Once we have completed our analysis, we will share our perspectives," the CEO said in the statement.
Ameren owns the coal-burning Sioux Power Plant in West Alton, which completed the $600 million installation of scrubbers in 2010. The scrubbers significantly reduce the plant's sulfur dioxide emissions.
The majority of Illinois' coal is sent out of state or overseas where carbon-emission standards are more lenient. U.S. Rep. Mike Bost, a republican from Murphysboro, said the plan will continue a "war on coal and affordable energy.
"While nations like China and India exploit affordable energy sources, President Obama's agenda has America going it alone. In the process, we are putting our economy at a disadvantage, costing hundreds of thousands of jobs each year, and increasing electric bills on hardworking families across the country," Bost said in a statement.
U.S. Rep. Rodney Davis, a republican of the 13th House Congressional District said in a statement that the plan hurts working families.
"I wish I could say I was surprised by these new regulations but time and time again we've seen this president regulate without regard for American workers or rising energy costs for millions of families," said Davis.
State Sen. William Haine of the 56th District and State Rep. Daniel Beiser could not be reached for comment by the end of their office hours Tuesday.
The Citizens Utility Board said it is in favor of the rules — if implemented correctly — because they will create more opportunity for Illinois citizens to increase energy efficiency and reduce their power bills.
"As a non-profit consumer group, we're all about taking advantage of opportunities to save consumers money," said Jim Chilsen, director of communications for the Citizens Utility Board. "These new federal rules could be a great opportunity to expand energy efficiency, create jobs and cut power bills. The challenge for Illinois is, how do we comply with these new rules? It's going to take a lot of work, but it is possible. But no matter where people stand on these new rules, we have found that energy efficiency is a good thing. That's what it's all about."
Reporter Kelsey Landis can be reached at 618-208-6460, Ext. 1396 or on Twitter @kelseylandis.


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Health Leadership High School Students Visit CNM and Learn About Career Options
Jul 16, 2015
The students, all ninth and 10th graders interested in pursuing credentials and careers in the health field, first met with the HWPS student success team that's comprised of two advisors, an achievement coach and the coordinated entry facilitator. The team led the students through an activity that revealed their strengths and talked to them about what health programs are available at CNM.
They then visited three health programs, including surgical technology, nursing and nursing assistant, where they listened to a mannequin's heart beat and saw laboratories equipped like hospital rooms.
"The kids were very engaged. They enjoyed seeing what CNM has to offer," said Tamra Mason, dean of the School of Health Wellness & Public Safety.
For more information about the Health Leadership High School in Albuquerque, click here.


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25 Most lovely & Adorable dolls - you'll surely love them!
Posted by SyedZain under art, artist, cute dolls. adorable doll, doll, zsdesignx
I have got these images of the artist, the name MysticArtgirl56 on flickr. Most dolls are always with a smile, but they are completely Cute & different dolls! They have a whole new look. I would like to thank the artist made such a beautiful doll!


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Wednesday, September 2, 2009
MMS 2009 Hands on Lab
Seems the MS is sending out the Hands on Lab (HOL) DVD again. I just recieved notification that it had been shipped. Much like last year, they can't put the entire HOL session on the DVD because they require Virtual PC but they do have many of the walk thrus so you can do it yourself at home or at work. Very nice work. They don't have to pass this on to us but it is a nice jesture, not to mention nice for those that couldn't or didn't have time to get in to the Lab.
Posted by Matthew Hudson at 4:13 PM
Labels: mms


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Who would have thought that Julia Roberts could play a wicked queen for a step-mother and looks so gorgeous and elegant. If she is not so wicket and all, she could be a perfect queen and all. The movie is funny and so witty. Snow white or snow as they what call her is perfect for her role. She looked demure when she have not yet found her confidence and looked so fierce when she have to defend her castle and her love. Even Prince Alcot is so funny. I love his acting and of course he is so cute. Who will not love his puppy cute act? Even Brighton, the queen's boot lick-er is so funny. And who will forget the seven dwarfs? All of them is so funny even the one who fantasize being close to Snow. 🙂
If you are looking for a feel good movie, with a matching dance number in the end, Mirror Mirror is the best! Go and watch it before the showing run ends!


text: A silent jihad is under way in France. Spread by a constellation of Muslim organizations allied to powerful (non-Muslim) "anti-racist" associations, "jihad by court" is attacking freedom of press, and freedom of speech. Any journalist, politician, lawyer or intellectual who talks or writes either about Islam or some of its representatives in a critical way, is at risk of being taken to court for "racism" or "outraging a group of people because of their religion."


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The Inlander Thursday, May 31, 2018
By Samantha Wohlfeil
It's only May — there are still six months of campaigning to go — and yet Lisa Brown has already accomplished something that eluded previous challengers who tried to unseat Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers: actual hope, backed by polling, that she stands a chance of knocking off the highest-ranking Republican woman in Congress.
Yes, true-blue hope... to say nothing of the money she's raised or attention she's already attracted from the national media predicting a "blue wave" of Democrats in November's midterm elections.
Hope is visible on the faces of a handful of Spokane women who've come out on a Saturday morning in early May to have coffee with Brown at a downtown market. Two of the women, planning to doorbell for her later that afternoon, are already sporting Lisa Brown T-shirts and blue-and-yellow swag emblazoned with her logo.
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PO Box 154
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Reading Wall St. Journal: Trump's policies are to become Republican policies. Previous policies are "all on the wane." To achieve this radical transformation , Trump had to win, and that's all he had to do.
Outside Washington, Republicans found themselves trying to define the new Republicanism. Post-expected-Dem victory, GOP was to be in disarray. Now GOP is in the catbird seat, prepared to press its advantage. (Let the media rage.)
"We have learned from the lessons of last night," said a moderate Republican state senator in Ohio. Wow. He will change from a moderate Republican — RINO, in name only, to the right) to Trumpist. A former South Carolina state chairman said he has to learn how to do this.
in her farewell address, Hillary talked about the glass ceiling : it hasn't been smashed, but "some day someone will . . ." (Is there a Margaret Thatcher in our future?)
Her victory party at the Javits Center would have been held under an actual glass ceiling.
So. There's an end of fulmination. She retires to Chappaqua. And there's a start of hardball — smiling at this point but surely in the works — to achieve results to make America great again.
Sun-Times: Mary Mitchell on haters, no thanks. Michael Sneed on being a 72-year-old woman, no thanks. Fran Spielman on Rahm explaining. Yesss.
He's kicking himself for missing voters' "deep disenchantment" that propelled Trump to the White House, she writes. He hesitated to analyze it further, but couldn't resist the smart Ms. S., who got him going after her 2nd or 3rd question. (Good girl, lady.)
He cited the economy, "culture and racial issues," Lack of "respect for diversity," meaning for "3rd, 4th, 5th-generation" citizens" who found Trump OK despite his big-mouthism and slapdash characterizations (and I think he knew what he was doing, getting his big ideas across with stunning rhetoric — he wasn't explaining Aristotle to undergraduates, was he?).
All in all, and the last few lines are mine alone, a rather good analysis. Good for him and good for her.
An AP story about protesters: Trump "a fascist" a protester said. "The idea we can elect a guy who . . . We can't let that stand." And so must protest it, apparently.
An Oak Parker whose father had immigrated from Panama, had an opposite view. His father did it right, he said. Trump was "not racist, but wants things properly done.
Finally in S-T, Lynn Sweet, freed from her unfortunate puff-piece-about-Obama-family mode, cites "middle-class anger" which "the media missed."
She notes also that Trump commended Bernie Sanders more than once from the stump (as another who knew the anger), and maybe most important of all, turned out to be not a drag on the ticket, but a help.
Indeed, as WSJ explained, now it's Republicans super omnes, thanks to the very Trump who was supposed to be their ruin.
They didn't know it, most of them, but they ran on his coattails — which was maybe the biggest surprise of all in an election full of them.


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Why You'll Love It
This umeboshi paste made from pickled, pureed umeboshi plums replaces butter and salt for the best corn-on-the-cob imaginable. Also use it in making sushi, dips, sauces, salad dressing, and for seasoning vegetables. Umeboshi paste promotes healthy appetite and digestion and is kosher.
About This Brand
Eden Foods
Shop The Brand
Based in the southern part of Michigan, Eden Foods is an American food producer that specializes in traditional Japanese products, such as buckwheat soba noodles and umeboshi paste. A range of traditional pantry foods, like apple butter and sauerkraut, rounds out their product selection. How Eden Foods got started Nowadays, organic foods are everywhere, but that wasn't always the case. In fact, not long ago it was fairly difficult to obtain organic products. Seeing this gap in the market, a group of young entrepreneurs were inspired to co
Umeboshi Plums, Sea Salt, Beefsteak Leaves (shiso)
Disclaimer: Information, statements, and reviews regarding products have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. Results vary person to person, and there is no guarantee of specific results. Thrive Market assumes no liability for inaccuracies or misstatements about products.