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Monday, April 30, 2012
Comics 1047-1049: Informative Updates
1049. As much as I hate to be even remotely negative of anything bashing Ayn Rand, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn't point out that Randy implies that he agrees with the majority of her philosophy except for the part about being a dick. This means he is a colossal moron.
And now, for your viewing "pleasure," here is a guest review of 1048 from possibly Jon Levi, possibly someone just pretending to be Jon Levi, who even cares:
Title: Emotion; Alt text: Fortunately, the internet has a virtually inexhaustible supply of code that doesn't work and people who are wrong, which bodes well for a return to normalcy. [Note: Click to read context for the cancer comics. She's doing well.]
Diagnosis report for Patient ID XKCD1048, who is hereafter to be referred to as 'Patient R'
During a productive therapy session on Friday 27th April, I asked Patient R to write down a list of all the things that made him emotional in the last six years. He quickly listed six items, but struggled to think of any more. I suggested he filled in the two blank spots with 'other' and '? ?'. He then insisted on plotting a graph of them, which is extremely troubling. If the graph is truly an accurate representation of how he feels, then Patient R is mentally ill and needs strong intervention.
At any one time in the last six years, Patent R has felt strong emotion continuously and persistently towards five or fewer things at any one time (according to the graph). These are clearly obsessions towards unimportant emotional triggers. Perhaps he spends hours at a time reading all the political articles on a news blog, or poring over a piece of broken code. In his mind he is pressing the same metaphorical buttons again and again because he lacks the capacity to be bored by them.
His emotional ritual has no room for other triggers such as music, nostalgia, and injustice (beyond the narrow categories he has defined). It is likely that he does not care for anything that does not ft his predefined pattern of emotions.
Patient R's condition degraded significantly in November 2010, when he emotionally latched onto an issue that was entirely beyond his control. At any one time since then, at least 75% of his emotions have been related to his wife's cancer. This combined with his older obsession of romance. Having such a complete infatuation with one person is unhealthy, and leaves him unable to respond emotionally to any other aspect of his life.
Perhaps the most troubling aspect is how well he hides it. In fact no one knew he had a problem until today. Patient R has put on a facade by pretending to care about other things, such as DRM, space exploration and feminism. Although looking back through his comic archive one can begin to see that some of his drawings were nihilistic cries of help. But he did not express the true nature of his problem until he decided to make a graph of it.
If he accepts the therapy, he will be pleased to know the condition is quite curable. He will be able to revert to a childlike emotional state, and rebuild himself from there. However the alt text of his comic exposes none other than a wish to return to the 'normalcy' of his pre-2010 period. If he declines, then I will refer him to Dr Ann Apolis M.D. for more intensive treatment.
Dr Jon Levi
The contents of this letter are private and confidential, and are not to be posted on any hate blogs.
226 comments:
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 12:31 AM
What happened to the real Jon Levi? Was he scared off by the rising Jon Levi hate? Did he completely blow his load with his ultimate worst post thing, never to raise his weary hand to keyboard again?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 1:12 AM
If Jon Levi really signs his name that way, it will help ease the Randall pain a little.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:10 AM
Stage 1 in Asperger recovery is to realise that Ayn Rand's conclusions are disconcerting. (In the same way that the most crude analysis of Mein Kampf might involve double-take at the spirit of "so that's why we have to eliminate the Jews" which emerges.)ReplyDelete
Stage 2 is to calculate that her reasoning is bullshit.
Stage 3 is to observe that her premises are bullshit.
Stage 4 is to study her work in the context of her troubled life, rather than as an "objective" philosophy.
Stage 5 is to look back at yourself and see how your immaturity contributed towards your previous attitude.
Congratulations, you now have an iota of self-awareness!
Randall has passed Stage 1. A substantial part of America has not.Replies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:33 AM
What does Ayn Rand have to do with Asperger's?Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:05 AM
the two are often contra-indicated. Objectivism is generally popular amongst those unable to understand life from perspectives other than their own.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:18 AM
What does Hitler have to do with Nazism?Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 4:56 AM
What does my Dick have to do in your Ass?Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 6:05 AM
Aww look, rejecting a philosophical system you've only learned about second-handedly, not on any rational basis, but by writing it off as a side-effect of a medical disorder. Which is the more relevant comparison to Nazi eugenics, again?Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 8:30 AM
6:05, great caricature of an "Objectivist". Well done. I particularly like:Delete
1) "Aww look" as an introduction to peer discourse;
2) "Philosophical system", implying objectivism is a) philosophy b) a system;
3) "second-handedly", implying that the problem with agnostics/atheists is that they haven't read the Bible hard enough;
4) "rational basis", implying that there is a rational basis for reading Atlas Shrugged;
5) "side-effect of a mental disorder", implying that Objectivism doesn't deserve its own separate DSM entry as a mental disorder.
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 1:19 PM
Incidentally, Mein Kampf doesn't really go into the whole eliminating-the-Jews thing, though you can certainly see hints of the mindset that led to that conclusion.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 3:19 PM
Reader exercise: visit; Ctrl-F: jewDelete
The book "hints" like a thousand punches in the face.
At least leaders were honest back then, even in their lies.
- Ian BellApril 30, 2012 at 2:27 AM
That is some cold hearted bullshit from Jon.ReplyDelete
This blog used to be funny. What happened?Replies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:09 AM
You've only just realised?Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 5:15 AM
It did? When?Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 11:01 AM
Carl left.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 12:10 PM
The trouble with Rob is that he's the shy gay male equivalent of Catherine Tate's "am i bovvered?" character. If you tell him he's shit, he vigorously argues that he wasn't trying anyway.Delete
Having said this, Carl tried too hard, which is a worse offence.
In conclusion, the only common thread here is that we all think xkcd is awful and that Randall is emotionally abusing his cancer-riddled milk factory of a wife. If you expect anything more, you'll only be disappointed, and you should commit suicide.
- weaselsoupApril 30, 2012 at 12:54 PM
please don't mention rob being gay. please let me continue being deluded a bit longerDelete
it's pretty much a universal fact that if someone calls someone gay on the internet it's meant as a slur, not a statement of factDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 1:58 PM
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good hate blog must be in want of anal.Delete
- weaselsoupApril 30, 2012 at 2:39 PM
i am just challenging internet homophobiaDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:53 PM
"Homophobia" sounds so gay. What does it even meanDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 7:16 PM
It's because of fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 2:06 AM
all suffering is caused by love. love is the deliberate exclusion of things which you do not love.Delete
hate is the driving force which produces all change for the better.
universal love, before you argue it, is exceptional.
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:31 AM
Where does Jon Levi get off saying that Randall feels only 'five or fewer things at any one time'? The 'Other' category is literally EVERY. FUCKING. THING. ELSE.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:52 AM
Yes... And it doesn't exist before 2011...Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:28 AM
no, it only exists before 2011, then it is overtaken by cancer because it is such an all-consuming thing you ignorant jackass. thats the whole fucking point of the comic.Delete
- weaselsoupApril 30, 2012 at 3:37 AM
'other' is the blue bit at the bottom. there is 'other' before 2010 and then ??? afterwards. it is a very important artistic choice signifying that nothing will ever be the same, or somethingDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:32 AM
1) "Causes of emotions" doesn't include "Family" or "Friends". Bit of an omission, we all depend on one another forReplyDelete
2) Ayn Rand. Ohhhh.
And this is when I realise that Randy is failing harder at life than is ok to make fun of. I feel like someone who called the service retarded, and then my waiter turns out to have Down Syndrome. Whoops.
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:25 AM
you people should be ashamed of yourselves attacking a man who puts his creativity and ideas on the line, you dont need to like his art, or his jokes, or even him personally, but you should be able to respect the fact that it is difficult to put yourself out there like that and just try three times a week to make something people will love. this blog is a disgusting testament to what the internet is capable of in the hands of ignorant children. and to your criticisms about the cancer chart comic, how dare you mock a man for trying to express his pain like that? who the hell do you people think you are? you represent the very worst of humanity and i hope you never have the chance to pass on your hateful, bile spewing ways to future generations. the people of the future will be much richer for having never met you.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:52 AM
posters like you should be ashamed of yourselves attacking a hate blog where people put their creativity, opinions and ideas on line, you don't need to like this blog, or the comments, or even the posters personally, but you should be able to respect the fact that it is difficult to put yourself out there like that and just try to think beyond the preconceived social barriers stifling free speech to make comments about things people should hate. your post is a disgusting testament to what the world will become in the hands of close minded sympathy nazis. and to your defense about the cancer chart comic, how dare you support a man for trying make money out of the pain and suffering of others like that? why the hell do you morons think we care? you represent the very worst of humanity and i hope you never have the chance to pass on your ignorant, mentally retarding genes to future generations. i have sent this post to you from the future where we are much richer thanks to the eradication of your kind.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 5:44 AM
cuddlefish like you should be ashamed of yourselves attacking a troll who puts his shitty opinion on the line, you dont need to like his comment, or his jokes, or even him personally, but you should be able to respect the fact that it is difficult to put yourself out there like that and just try one time ever to make a comment people will love. this reply is a disgusting testament to what the internet is capable of in the hands of ignorant cuddlefish. and to your criticisms about the ayn rand comic, how dare you mock a man for trying to express his pain like that? who the hell do you people think you are? you represent the very worst of humanity and i hope you never have the chance to pass on your hateful, bile spewing ways to future generations. the objectivists of the future will be much richer for having never met you.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 9:52 AM
Cuddlefish are tasty.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Haters gonna hate.Delete
Randy is a true artist, one able to touch us all in the most intimate ways. I weeped when I saw his emotion chart comic. It's just so, so, so true!
not that you're a real XKCD fanboy, but i have never understood the whole "haters gonna hate" thing. it's a mindless way of dismissing criticism of something you enjoy--people hate things for a reason, and that reason is not "they are a hater." sometimes it's not a very good reason--for instance, I hate Randy because I have a deep-seated milk fetish that I have concealed even from myself, so I turn this unacceptable feeling into hate for all people with milk fetishes--but it's a reason. calling someone a "hater" is this vapid tumblr-esque way of making sure you never have to leave your echochamber.Delete
- weaselsoupApril 30, 2012 at 3:27 PM
you all should embrace your milk fetishes. enjoy them. if they make you happy i say go for it. accept your kink. as kinks go, this one's kind of harmlessly cute. life is too short, etcDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:29 PM
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 1:28 PM
Harmless? HARMLESS? Clearly you have never met a woman whose breasts have been chewed off because of the insatiable need for more milk. Or a dairy farmer who has had to euthanize his cows because there is no longer any demand for his products. Or a breast cancer survivor whose husband leaves her because she can no longer produce milk (though in the long run, she's better off for it).
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 2:30 AM
I have met all those people actually but they were all tossers so i didn't care.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 4:36 AM
leopards like you should be ashamed of leopards attacking a leopard blog where leopards put their creativity, opinions and leopards on line, you don't need to like this leopard, or the leopards, or even the leopards personally, but leopards should be able to respect the fact that it is difficult to put a leopard out there like that and just try to think beyond the preconceived leopard barriers stifling free leopards to make comments about things leopards should hate. your leopard is a disgusting testament to what the leopard will become in the hands of close minded leopard nazis. and to your defense about the leopard chart comic, how dare you support a leopard for trying make money out of the pain and suffering of leopards like that? why the hell do you leopards think we care? leopards represent the very worst of humanity and i hope leopards never have the chance to pass on your ignorant, mentally retarding genes to future leopards. leopards have sent this post to you from the future where leopards are much richer thanks to the eradication of leopards.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 4:41 AM
chris houlihan's leopardReplyDelete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 5:03 AM
This comment was not removed by the author, but that was probably a mistake.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 5:32 AM
Ron Paul 2012ReplyDelete
What's going on in the last panel of 1049? is it just someone else about to go through the trap-bookcase? If so, that adds literally nothing to the comic.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:16 PM
I was confused by that at first too. I believe it's the same person. He was only in the trap room long enough to be told that his taste sucked and then revolved back out.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 1:19 PM
then why would the book "click" again? are we meant to believe that the "click" is the sound of the floor? The bookcase? fuckDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 8:23 PM
Look where the motion marks are. These are little clues in the sophisticated art that indicate where the sounds are likely to be coming from.Delete
I think that's just the same character after he gets spun back around. Though now that you mention it, it actually would be a funnier comic if everyone who was about to check out a crappy book got trapped in that little room forever.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 9:50 AM
When did comics get so bloody serious?ReplyDelete
- CorruptUserApril 30, 2012 at 10:09 AM
If you think Randall is doing a terrible job, make your own webcomic and do a better job.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 5:46 PM
No, no, no. I am not affronted at your suggestion that the reader of your comment make their own webcomic -- surely any reader of this blog would have the good sense not to churn out shit. No, what offends me about this post is the blatant disregard for the entire purpose of this website -- to criticize Randall's work. Yes, we do think he's doing a terrible job! And we have the right to criticize him for that! One minor webcomic won't make anything better, won't uphold the golden standard of webcomics in any meaningful way. We have every right to call Randall a hack for the crap he calls "comics", and suggesting we leave him alone and do our own work is insulting (especially since you don't have to be a comics artist to criticize a terrible comics artist!)
Go read Rob's list of 10 terrible arguing techniques. Or just go away. If you don't like this hate blog, go make "a better one."
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 11:03 AM
I do not have aproblem growing my nails long, and they are strong, however the free edges are almost clear. They are transparent, and i don't know how to keep get them white. Is ther anything I can do to help this?ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 11:20 AM
he transparency is from moisture in the nail. Actually it's a fairly good thing. I know, I have the same problem with my nails because they are so flexible when they are see through, all they do is tear (not break, not crack,TEAR).Delete
I'm a nail tech and you just need to keep a nail hardener on them and avoid buffing if they are thin.
Good luck!
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 12:35 PM
I NAILed your mom.Delete
- weaselsoupApril 30, 2012 at 1:00 PM
french manicure is what you needDelete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 11:06 AM
ATTENTION XKCDSUCKSReplyDelete
Is 'Chris Houlihan's room' a meme specific to xkcdsucks? Also, has it always just been randomly tossed out, or did it have an actual meaning in the original context?Replies
- That's what sheApril 30, 2012 at 2:49 PM
It's not a meme. Not anywhere.Delete
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 3:41 PM
parsimonious lensDelete
xkcd will never suck as bad as Ayn Rand.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 2:56 PM
As long as someone sucks me in the end, it's all good.Delete
I make inane sex jokes as a way to hide my sexual frustration, by the way.
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 1:25 AM
I make inane cuddlefish jokes as a way to hide my Ayn Rand frustration, by the way.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 3:23 AM
I feel like making a list of all xkcd comics where the last panel is completely redundant. Don't have the time at the moment though. Someone else do it.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 5:33 AM
Done; it's called goatKCD.Delete
- snugglefishMay 2, 2012 at 2:32 PM
and it's the very best way to read XKCD.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 3:39 AM
I had to hit the random button 8 times before I got to a redundant last panel. There's a lot of single panel comics though.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 10:02 AM
Rob, the cunt, said,ReplyDelete
"....but i have never understood the whole "haters gonna hate" thing....."
Nor have I.
Haters, obviously, do not hate hating now do they?
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 10:49 AM
It seems you are implying that haters should hate everything, all the time. I'm assuming you expect "liars" to lie about everything all the time, "happy people" to be happy about everything all the time, "rude people" to be rude to everyone all the time, and so on?Delete
Well, if you do, then you're wrong. You're probably not wrong about everything all the time, though. Maybe it's just on this one, at this moment that you are wrong. But you're so wrong that it's skewing my judgment of you as a whole. I can't think clearly, my mind resounds with your words. Frankly? I think you should fucking die, pal, and rid us of your disgusting ways and stupid opinions. "Innit?" "Innit?" Looks like it's the only word you know.
God do I hate your guts.
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 10:52 AM
that's what a decadent hedonist would think, altcDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 10:56 AM
".....But you're so wrong that it's skewing my judgment of you as a whole....."Delete
As well it should, little man, for I am so wrong that compared to me the concept of wrongness itself attains a certain aura of correctitude.
You are right about my guts though - they are indeed worthy of any and all divinity exclaimed hating.
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 11:38 AM
".....that's what a decadent hedonist would think, altc....."Delete
The truly decadent hedonist does not think - no pleasure in it.
And it is ALTF.
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 9:26 PM
Leopards gonna leop.Delete
Shameless self promotion but also related to XKCD 1049... xkcdprime.blogspot.com/2012/05/xkcd-1049-bookshelf-one-panel-too-long.htmlReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 1:15 PM
Such a thing! Christ alive!ReplyDelete
Begin to use such as Gamemaker! Return to Gamemakerdom! I'm sickida such as you 100%!
You fuckin'! You fuckin'! You fuckin'! You fuckin'! You fuckin'! You fuckin' sandwich that never knew bread!
- xkcd hater haterMay 1, 2012 at 1:39 PM
You are pathetic. Don't you have anything better to do with your time? No one is forcing you to read xkcd! You're just biased against it because you're jealous; if you think you can do so much better, where's your webcomic? Besides, some comics aren't supposed to be funny, something you apparently fail to grasp. And all art is subjective, anyway. Dumbass.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 1:53 PM
Don't you have anything better to do with your time? No one is forcing you to read this hate blog! You'r just biased against it because you're jealous; if you think you can do so much better, where's your blog? Besides, some blogs aren't supposed to be nice, something you apparently fail to grasp. And part of art being subjective means that people are allowed to not like it. Dumbass.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 2:47 PM
Given that xhh's post consisted ~90 percent of the titles of Rob's rants on the left side of the page or close approximations (excluding only the last one, "It's okay to copy jokes!"), I'm pretty sure s/he was kidding. But perhaps I have too much faith in humanity.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 8:20 PM
Given that 1:53's post consisted ~90 percent of xhh's original text or close approximations of it (excluding nothing, but I want to retain this parenthesis), I'm pretty sure s/he was kidding. But perhaps I have too much faith in humanity.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 9:26 AM
Given that 8:20's post consisted ~90 percent of 1:53's original text or close approximations of it (excluding nothing, but I want to retain this parenthesis), I'm pretty sure s/he was kidding. But perhaps I have too much faith in humanity.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 2:29 PM
This one was a low blow, too low.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 2:41 PM
I find it amusing that the bookshelf comic generated almost as many responses on the xkcd forums in 24 hours as the cancer comic did in 96, even with SirMustapha trolling up a shitstorm in the latter.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 8:07 PM
It is kinda funny, but it's worth remembering that the troll comic was over the weekend, which is a low traffic period for most forums, and that the bookshelf is disproportionately represented by a few people defending their honour on the field of internet battle.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 3:00 PM
Someone posted an edit generator for 1049. Let the games begin.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 3:11 PM
xkcd: volume 0 / Kill yourself.Delete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 3:40 PM
from time to time in your life you have to face your shit, esp when you just noticed that what you uploaded was in the fact the raw comic, and that it's not what you intended. oh, you could act like all the other faceless cowards out there, and hope that your fail will be misconstrued as a clever joke of some sort, like "man i'd so wish randall to make comics sans his legendary verbosity, but it's too good to be true!" but no, that's not who you are, you won't stoop so low. you also have to admit that while your joke wasn't funny originally, it will be even less so now that you have to make it for the second time. but still, you face your shit because you're a manDelete
too good to be true
and now you want to die. but you faced your shit
Comic 1050: "On the other hand, being bad at math is totally cool: "I'm so terrible at math I can't even add lololol," when mathematical ability correlates directly with intelligence, and skipping it serves no intelligible purpose."ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 10:49 PM
How the fuck is cooking useless unless you're some kind of giant manchild (e.g. by demanding that your cancer-ridden wife prepare all meals, being too lazy to eat anything that requires any effort, getting all your nutrients through breastfeeding, etc)?ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 11:10 PM
He explained it before. Because it takes time to prepare and clean up, which directly translates into lost cash money via potential income, and because some ingredients will be wasted while you learn, it is actually cheaper to take out for all of your meals. Randall knows this because he is good at math, which may be unsuitable for Basic Life Skills majors.Delete
Incidentally, I'd love to see this guy's household budget. Hopefully his wife handles that.
In fairness, in the three to four minutes Randall would take to boil an egg he could shit out a poster that would sell for $40. That's a big opportunity cost.Delete
I am ashamed at having learned various amounts of maths/wish i had spent that time learning how to feel emotions other than angst and sloth and vitriol. =[ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 11:17 PM
Regarding Randy's inability to cook: http://xkcd.com/854/ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 1, 2012 at 11:41 PM
I don't understand people who say they can't cook and so never cook. I mean, you just heat some meat and/or vegetables up and then eat it. Throw in some spices maybe, they're cheap so why not? At worst you'll throw them in at the wrong moment and the flavor will fail to integrate. Doesn't matter. You don't have to be dining on fine cuisine every meal.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 12:59 AM
No, at worst you'll overpower the meal with spices and find yourself unable to swallow the food.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 1:18 AM
You do that once, and never again. Trial and error.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 1:20 AM
Fine, maybe adding only a small amount of spice and possibly increasing that amount later on is one of the esoteric secrets that only true cooking masters know.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 1:22 AM
OR... Or you just use a fucking recipe unless you're also unable to read. Americans are so dumb. (inb4 "hurr im british" it's even worse, shut up)Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 1:59 AM
Doesn't matter where I'm from. Don't need a fucking recipe. I never use them and my food turns out fine. Your food would turn out fine without them too. People were cooking long before anybody started arbitrarily following recipes. Plenty of cultures out there continue to neglect recipes. Unless you're cooking at a French restaurant, it's not as precise a science as you may believe. You don't need recipes any more than you need crib notes telling you how to wash your clothes.Delete
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 2:24 AM
you say that but there are a lot of guys out there who left a red sock in with their whites and who are now walking around in pink underwear.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 2:34 AM
"People were cooking long before anybody started arbitrarily following recipes. Plenty of cultures out there continue to neglect recipes."Delete
you're speaking of *written* recipes. i'm willing to bet recipes have pretty much always been passed on to later generations orally. only people who had to learn how to cook were adam and eve. but then again, since they never existed, nobody ever had to learn how to cook
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 2:37 AM
cooking is just, like, applied chemistry or biochemistry or something which is just applied maths etc. i can't be bothered to work out why that makes xkcd hypocritical but I'm sure it doesDelete
you only need to follow recipes accurately if you're baking. otherwise reading them gives you ideas for stuff that goes well together but yeah, I tend to find I adapt recipes a lot
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:06 AM
Only an aspie would say that cooking is "easy", because only an aspie is so incapable of understanding that other people have different strengths and weaknesses to him. If you actually step back and spend a moment to gain self-awareness, you'll see that cooking involves lots of observation and judgment. And by cooking I don't mean emptying a tin of baked beans into a microwave - I mean combining ingredients to make a palatable, nutritious and presentable meal, whether breakfast, snack or dinner.Delete
My partner was once part of the kitchen staff at an award-winning restaurant in Scotland. Even the way she prepares scrambled egg today is a labour of love. And you can dismiss her processes only until you see and taste the difference between throwing something in a pan and what she does. We are intelligent animals. Our first imperative is to eat. If we are fully satisfied by what we eat, we are much more productive and content.
Saying it's good enough to throw a few things together and add some random spices and seasoning is like saying it's good enough to pass junior high and spend your life as a casual labourer, never even trying to master any skill. (Or, more PERTinently, it's like doing an undergrad degree, giving up your vocation, then drawing unimproving stick figure comics about breast cancer for the rest of your life.)
I feel that the reason more people don't cook is because of douches who imply that it is some innate ability like breathing. This makes people feel crap that they can't cook so they don't even try. But to cook well, as with any art, you have to try - and again, as with any art, because it's really unlikely that you're a natural genius (and even if you are) you start off by observing the work of others. "Following a recipe" is fair enough, but even a recipe assumes all sorts of things a beginner wouldn't know: what's "a pinch", how low is a "low heat", and how "brown" should it go? So, find the best woman^Wperson you know with cooking skill and ask them to teach you. They may enjoy the activity as much as you do.
Penultimately, if you really enjoy your meals, you're much less likely to be too thin or too fat. Finally, weaselsoup, you know about too many guys' underwear - but I would still cook for you.
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 5:24 AM
1/ thank you very much, that is very kindDelete
2/ it has been decades since I have had the privilege of finding myself near a man's underwear :(
3/ I am vastly fat
4/ numbers 2 and 3 are no doubt related
Anyone who wears red socks deserves to have pink underwear.
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 1:06 AM
Plus, we have the internet now. There's so much stuff available in terms of recipes, plenty of places suited to different skill levels, some that describe things in ridiculous detail- and of course, it's the internet so you can look up stuff like what a 'moderate oven' is. There's even software to manage your ingredients for you which you can load recipe databases into and know how much to get and when to get more. You won't become a world-class chef but you'll be able to eat far healthier and far more cheaply than you would by ordering out.ReplyDelete
I couldn't cook either until I tried it. Absolutely no excuse.Replies
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 9:01 AM
One time, I was stranded in the middle of no-where. It started snowing and didn't stop. I realized I'd have to make a shelter or freeze. Long story short -- I learned how to cook fish over an open fire, and that frozen poo makes good stink-bait.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 1:06 PM
> so you can look up stuff like what a 'moderate oven' isDelete
My parents' ~40 year old oven is probably the best example I can bring up for why "moderate oven" will trip you up. Sure, you can set the dial to some figure on some web page's estimation of "moderate", but that'll be completely wrong. You'll need an oven thermometer. And it'll certainly depend on which shelf you put the item on - and even where you choose on the shelf. Depending on what you're cooking, you'll need to rotate/stir to prevent burning. And then you have to take account of how the temperature changes each time you opened the open.
In short, you can make great cakes in this oven - but not if you actually follow a recipe.
Would things be better with a well-insulated, well-calibrated, fan-heated oven? Perhaps. If the guy writing the recipe has the same model as you, you're in even better luck. If every student just graduating from Pot Noodles had a chef's class oven too, well, life would be dandy.
There are lots of people who can't prepare a main meal - it's one of the disability yardsticks in the UK for the lowest rate of government help. But for those who are sufficiently physically and mentally able, you're right, there is no excuse. But you have to try, and you must not expect it to be easy.
And I maintain the best help you can get is through being guided by someone who knows what they are doing - whether that's your partner, your folks, or the cute girl who probably *will* give you attention if you ask her to teach you to cook.
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 3:05 PM
this is all very true. getting to know the idiosyncrasies of your oven is super important in baking. as is common sense. look at your cakes & take them out when they're done rather than after the exact amount of time the recipe says etc. practice & common sense is all you need. & willingness to try again if it goes wrong.Delete
if this post was xkcd it would be a comic about how cooking is the same as sex. there would be a lame double entendre, a terrible attempt at double bluffing - "you thought when i said 'put a bun in the oven' i was going to turn round and go 'lol I'm talking about sex!!!' but i have fooled you cos instead i'm going to bring in that beret wearing fuckwit and go 'aha! i was really talking about baking all along ahaha lololol'" even though Benny Hill would go 'man that trick is old as the hills'. luckily for all of you this post is not xkcd
hey guys i'm rob you can ask me any question you'd like i swear to god i'm himReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 2:39 AM
Why do you hate freedom?Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:11 AM
If you bought a horse would colour horse would you buy?Delete
Do you love me?Delete
Can you dance?Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:11 AM
Err, not everyone lives in Soviet Russia - there's a great proportion of people who don't have to "make a living" to live, particularly those living off unearned income/capital. I'd include hucksters in this like Randall and other cult-preachers.ReplyDelete
Nor does everyone live in the USA - sane countries have a Pay As You Earn system for most workers so they don't have to ever fill in stupid tax forms.Replies
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 8:00 PM
We have that system in Australia, but we still have to fill in a form at the end of the year so the tax office can make sure the balance is right and either pay some back or ask for more. It's great for people who don't know how to save, because when they get some back they think they've gotten free money. Then they spend it all on beer and gadgets.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 7:43 AM
Since when do you have to know how to get your taxes done? That's what my accountant is for. I simply mail him all my forms and let him figure everything out.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 10:21 AM
No-one reading this blog has sufficiently complex finances to need an accountant.Delete
Really, filling in a tax return yourself is appropriate for almost everyone - and almost anything you don't realise you can declare to reduce your tax burden is not going to be large enough to offset the cost of an accountant.
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 2:44 PM
not true. I am massively stupid at that sort of thing. I pay a friend to do my tax return ever since he showed me I was about to pay like a thousand quid too much.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:08 PM
No contradiction. Asking a friend for help if you're a little dyscalculate - or even to check for silly mistakes - isn't the same as needing an accountant. I'm assuming your friend doesn't charge accountant rates. In the UK, unless you're S/E earning a lot or have a variety of unearned incomes, you hardly have to supply any detailed information.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 11:08 PM
I'm a single male caucasian living alone on a slightly-below-average income without work expenses, debts, investments, or dependents and I can definitively confirm that there is absolutely nothing complicated about doing a tax return.Delete
- weaselsoupMay 2, 2012 at 11:16 PM
after my first year as a freelancer they wrote me a letter - it said they were suckers, but it was also threatening to come and take away my computer and investigate everything i had ever earned. it was just a standard random audit thing, but the way they go about it is pretty scary. especially for the dyscalculic and easily intimidated. having an accountant to take that on for me was worth every penny. sure i probably could have managed, but the level of paranoia that such things can inspire is worth paying to avoidDelete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 12:46 AM
I've never had an audit myself, but from speaking to others, it (in the UK at least) tends to be thorough but fair. From my understanding, despite the complexity of the system, the principle of the audit is very simple: (i) if money has gone into any of your accounts, they want to see that it's been declared; and (ii) you need a pile of appropriate receipts summing to expenses. Did you have a similar experience?Delete
But it remains, as anything the government feels like doing to you, intimidating. I'm of a nervous disposition and would probably be in a huff about it even though I tell the truth and I'm fairly sure I haven't ever made an uncorrected mistake. Ho hum. Hope it went OK for you and they've left you alone since.
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 2:54 AM
The important question is : why would you want to pay less taxes when the government needs so much money ?!! You americans are so weirdDelete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 5:59 AM
Taxes are the balance between the two human fictions of private property and collective ownership.Delete
This comment has been removed by the author.ReplyDeleteReplies
- That's what sheMay 2, 2012 at 11:12 AM
You will die a vir-YOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHT.Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 11:45 AM
You will die a vir-YOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEYOU WILL DIE IN YOUR SLEEP TONIGHTDelete
- That's what sheMay 2, 2012 at 12:17 PM
You will die in your slCHRIS HULAHOOP'S ROOMDelete
Turns out the discussion for the "MY WIFE HAS CANCER BUY MY SHIT" comic proved me wrong about the moderators on the forum. I thought they never banned me either because they didn't bother, or because it would open up a very bad precedent (dislike the comic = BAN). Turns out they banned me permanently, and they only did it now because they're a bunch of immature pussies. But then again, what could I expect from a forum like that?ReplyDelete
I KNEW that I was walking on thin ice by poking at the mods with such a short stick, but it's hilarious to see them stoop that low so quickly. "U BAN! ME WIN!"Replies
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 12:46 PM
You know, I thought you did a pretty shitty job. First post in that thread was fine, but then you started sounding very stupid. And now look at you, you're claiming victory because you got banned. WOW MAN INDEED YOU'RE AWESOME. One day I killed someone in front of a cop; I got tried and they put me to jail. Then I screamed: "GOTCHA HAHA".Delete
Basically I got to the point that I really didn't care anymore. I was appalled by the immature, thick-headed attitude of some of the mods and the obtuseness of many of the arguments, and when they cut off my sig (oh, they just did it because it was funny. Yeah, right), I knew they could do anything to me any time they wanted. I'm not claiming victory. I am just stating that I didn't expect the mods to be such complete dumbasses, and I'm pretty shocked. Some of the members are plain idiots, but I always had the impression that the mods were at least a little bit more open minded and mature. I was proven wrong in the most shocking way possible.Delete
I don't think being banned = victory. I wasn't being a troll. Besides, claiming victory against THOSE guys? I'd rather stay away from any kind of competition or comparison.
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 3:26 PM
Cry harder, jerk! hahahahaahahahahaDelete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:08 PM
>immature, thick-headed attitude of some of the modsDelete
>I always had the impression that the mods were at least a little bit more open minded and mature
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:33 PM
"Some of the members are plain idiots, but I always had the impression that the mods were at least a little bit more open minded and mature."Delete
Come on, they were looking for a good reason to ban you all along.
Anyway, shitting on the comic is fine. Shitting on the comic *on the xkcd forums* is fine, depending on how you do it (yeah yeah I know you were actually doing it for xkcd to improve. Oh no wait you were doing it to enlighten the poor brainwashed xkcd fans. Ah, my bad again, in fact you just wanted to have interesting discussions with the other members. Wait, no, etc.) Shitting on the comic, its fans and its author, on what is more or less the official fanclub of this comic, while basically saying the author doesn't care about his wife except for the money he can cash in on her disease, on a thread filled mostly with posts by people who are struggling/have struggled/have relatives who are struggling with said disease, when additionally you know that some of the people there including mods are (possibly close) friends of the author and his wife, is the work of a Zealous Asshole. And now seeing you basically crying about how t-t-terrible the mods are for banning you, the Misunderstood Martyr, is just laughable. You are an attention-whoring troll. Or you're simply stupid. Either way, nobody cares you got banned -- and by nobody cares, I mean everybody's either "HAHA" or "YAY!!" about it. Lastly, we're not on the xkcd forums here; if I want to tell you "fuck you, you little piece of shit", "I hope you'll die", or "CAN YOU REPEAT PLEASE I DIDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF YOUR DEAD MOM'S ANUS EXPLODING DUE TO MY COCK BEING A TAD TOO THICK" (<I just actually grossed myself out), I can! I'm not willing to start a debate here, just wanted to tell you that I think you were *really* being a dick, and that there's a huge difference between saying stuffs here and on the xkcd forums.
AND YES I WROTE A SERIOUS REPLY BAD ME. Needless to say, I'm not speaking in the name of anyone but me.
On another note, your music is interesting. BTW, notice how nobody left you hateful comments on YT.
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 8:22 PM
xkcd forum boring now. Anybody else care to step up to the plate?Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 9:04 PM
parsimonious leopardDelete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 9:30 PM
i got some people lining up to have a go gotta say though they've got pretty odd names. crazy names. anyway i'll tell you some of them: who's on first, what's on second, and i don't know is on third.Delete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 12:55 AM
@5:33: that wall of text and CAPS - viz. DEAD MOM'S ANUS - confirms that you're probably overdue a masturbation session and/or long sleep.Delete
So Fernie Canto went into a bit of an unsophisticated babble because he was fed up with the fora. Who cares? You and I both know that Randall is exploiting his cancerous wife for profit in the most disgusting manner, and while the truth may hurt, it's nothing like "killing someone in front of a cop". As for the "and some of the mods KNOW CANCER too!" argument, oh, shut up. Like all families, mine's had a few cancer deaths. My gf's sister has terminal cancer right now. It doesn't mean that cancer is sacred or that you can't be dalliant in your discussions of cancer. Should a man who has suffered a fall demand to ban slapstick?
As long as you don't strive to gain from suffering, i.e. do not behave like Randall, everything's cool.
- weaselsoupMay 3, 2012 at 3:52 AM
the sacredness thing - that is interesting, just like the personality cult thing. You see it a lot, this sort of special category of awful undeserved suffering that people put cancer into. Sufferers are noble victims; they battle extreme injustice. (one friend who's had two separate cancers tells me she hates the language of 'battling' cancer and the assumptions and implications behind it, but that's one individual view only etc)Delete
But also it's a very common thing, isn't it, don't they say one in three people will get some sort of cancer? The huge variety of cancers - cancers caused by lifestyle, cancers caused by environmental or genetic factors, aggressive cancers and slow-moving curable ones - sure,the differences are somewhat represented in general attitudes, but not as much as they maybe would be if they didn't all share the terrifying name cancer.
attitudes towards people with heart disease (even if it was genetic) are way less sympathetic for example. but someone suffering from it can suffer & die just as horribly as a cancer patient.
Old guys with prostate cancer who are likely to die of something else first are perhaps not as saintly in public opinion as young women with ovarian or cervical or breast cancer, or children who lived under pylons and got leukaemia, true. but in general there's a lot less victim blaming than for say heart disease, and a lot more martyred 'this is the worst thing anyone could possibly be expected to suffer - how dare you not RESPECT them' than there is for say MS.
I'm not saying that if there were comics about 'my wife has kidney disease' people would be less caring, of course, but I do think there would be something less of the 'you can't criticise' about some of the responses
i'm not trying to minimise anyone's suffering or refer personally to anyone. it's general perceptions and attitudes that i'm talking about
I've had cases of cancer in my family too. Like I said in the forums, I've seen my share of suffering; and I'm not the kind of petty, egocentric asshole to pull the "my father had cancer, you can't criticise me" card, and I could have done it all the time, I could have explored the hell out of it. But I'm not that kind of asshole, and I won't play martyr with someone else's neck. Unlike Randall.Delete
And I think it was a given that what I was doing on the forum was really far fetched. That was precisely the fun of it: nobody else was doing it. And it was always great to see the "enlightened few of humanity" turn into complete creeps because of ONE grumpy guy. It's fun to come here, but you know, it made me feel a bit like a coward. But now I've seen the mods are worse, then fuck it.
I'm not questioning your opinion that I was a dick (what am I, a cuddlefish?), but I'm saying that I just don't care. I didn't care back then, I care a lot less now.
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 4:27 AM
Quite, weaselsoup. To put it in political terms, it's another one of those divide&conquer things. Ideally we would accept that all people are human and thus all get ill/disabled, with their condition and prognosis almost always being influenced by environmental and genetic factors. Instead we differentiate between "your poor thing!" (deserving poor) diseases and "you made your bed!" (undeserving poor) diseases. The Good AIDS v. Bad AIDS sketch of Chris Morris makes the point more hilariously than I can.Delete
The more we judge, the more we break unity. The less united people are, the closer each individual can get to the Ozymandian dream of being able to shit on the corpses of our vanquished enemies, or something.
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 5:14 AM
So don't make any enemies.Delete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 5:19 AM
5:14, indeed. Don't listen to people who tell you that you should condemn anyone, because you're just condemning yourself.Delete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 9:54 PM
People need to remember that Fernie Canto originally came to XKCDsucks to *defend* the comic. Then he realised that we were cooler over here, so he desperately started trying to fit into our culture instead of theirs. Here we see he overdid it on the XKCDforums and got banned. *yawn*Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 1:59 AM
Anon, perhaps you ought to write a biography of Fernie Canto? You seem to be sufficiently interested in everything he does.Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 3:07 AM
I don't write biographies, just fanfiction.Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 5:54 AM
Write fanfiction inspired by a true story then.Delete
- AnonymousMay 5, 2012 at 1:16 AM
You could depict a raging Fernie on the front cover and call it CANTO ALIT.Delete
(being an anagram of LACTATION, you slow fucks)
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 12:43 PM
1051: I don't really know what to think about it. Believe it or not, I still had some respect for Randall, but that is just... like I said, I don't know, words fail me.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 4:26 PM
What 1051? Are you from the future, where xkcd is even worse? Did you come back to the past to stop Randall before he could manage 1051 and doom humanity forever?Delete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 5:44 PM
prevent 1051...save the world...3 hours and 16 minutes leftDelete
- AnonymousMay 2, 2012 at 4:16 PM
Randy is desperately trying to redeem himself for comic 519. It's not working. Also, there are the typical problems of verbosity and delayed exposition.ReplyDeleteReplies
Dead God, 519! I had completely forgotten about that one. Before, thought 1050 had a pretty solid point buried beneath the strawman shit and the condescension, but now, I'm just convinced that Randall is a hypocrite of the worst kind. So school is awful and INTELLIGENT people like Randall learn nothing on it, and everyone should hate school, but God forbid if you criticse your MATH teachers!Delete
Fuck you, Randall. Fuck you in the ass.
lol u mad broDelete
- Crony 38May 3, 2012 at 7:42 PM
Too bad he can't mention it in the official thread, right Mr. Munroe?Delete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 2:15 PM
Wow, I was wondering how he would criticize 1047... I loved that one. I can't imagine anyone even remotely interested in math not loving it.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 3:24 PM
HI RANDALLDelete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 4:10 PM
I can't imagine anyone even remotely interested in math not realising that almost any numerical can be simplified. Especially when you're taking a wide margin of accuracy.Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 1:57 AM
I can imagine someone remotely interested in math loving it.Delete
I can imagine someone substantially interested in math having already done this sort of thing before he reached high school.
There's no sophistication here - no attempt to identify some sort of pattern, which is what mathematics is actually about.
I can remember in the '80s with my venerable BBC B Microcomputer letting it run for hours finding interesting ways of forming various numbers. And that was with a 1 MHz 8-bit 6502. Today the task is trivial.
It's basically a fuzzy Countdown "numbers round" style competition - we had them at school. I think I was 9 or 10. Yes, it was a good school.
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 6:26 AM
"not realising" ? I don't think being aware that one fraction might be really close to some other important number is the same as seeing a really cool list of them.Delete
"already having done this sort of thing" ??? SO!? You haven't seen all the approximations on this list. You are talking out of your ass. These are cool!
"no attempt to identify a pattern" ... there's no fucking pattern. They're not even right. it's an oddity of math that they're so close.
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 10:21 AM
I think you're trolling, but you're doing a sufficiently good impression of a cuddlefish that I'll bite.Delete
1) That's true. One is an irrelevant fact and the other is an aspie obsession with collecting irrelevant facts on a particular topic.
2) Have you ever seen the number 1 million written down? I bet you haven't seen 1,000,000.000000000101 ever written down, though. What about 999,999.99999999999987654321? Think of all the numbers close to one million which you've never seen! Let's make a list!
3) It's not "an oddity of math". It's not math at all. Mathematics is about patterns. All Randall is providing is a set of lulrandum statements that two numbers obtained by different methods are approximately equal. Christ, it's not even numerology!
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 1:51 PM
10:21 Sorry to break it to you, but the only thing you have to do to do a good impression of a cuddlefish is post anonymously. Write "fuck I hate xkcd so much" and post it anonymously, and you're playing cuddlefish.Delete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 3:13 PM
I like 1051 -- not awesome, but still pretty decent.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 9:54 PM
I don't get this blog. I fully respect that you guys have a problem with the way that Randall does his comics, but why do you read them every week if they bother you? I know that it's popular and its hard to escape but don't you subject yourselves to this torment? You wouldn't be nearly exposed if you didn't read and analyze every aspect of a comic you claim to hate.ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 10:00 PM
Because MST3K.Delete
- AnonymousMay 3, 2012 at 11:37 PM
Because criticising something as trivial as a webcomic is entertaining in a way that xkcd never will be.Delete
- weaselsoupMay 4, 2012 at 2:49 AM
because all that is required for stupidity to prosper is for good people to do nothing.Delete
just read the thread for today's abomination of a 'comic' for proof. 'wow!!! omg!!! goomh!!! i too think it's edgy and cool rather than creepy to boast that I click links that say autoerotic asphyxiaton !!! quick, let's think of a way to vandalise wikipedia as is traditional!!!!'
yeah so they're just a bunch of harmless idiots burbling harmlessly and congratulating each other on having nothing to say. if you can't see why that isn't immensely annoying then you're probably just a nicer person than me.
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 3:47 AM
can't you understand that we're just slave to our immature emotions? we need to read xkcd, and we need to hate it clear and loud. we need the world to acknowledge that we are Not Happy about xkcd. we are like kids throwing a fit, except that our mommies don't care, so we indulge ourseves in unrestrained raging. but... could it be... that... we're waiting for God's intervention? maybe we just want Him to tell us in his stentorian voice: "son, quit raging, it is OK." oh my God, sorry for having ever disbelieved in you, i was so wrong... i will stop hating the world and randall munroeDelete
anyway, i liked 1051
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 5:33 AM
I don't get this comment. I fully respect that you cuddlefish have a problem with the way that Rob does his reviews, but why do you read them every week if they bother you? I know that it's popular and its hard to escape but don't you subject yourselves to this torment? You wouldn't be nearly exposed if you didn't read and analyze every aspect of a blog you claim to hate.Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 5:52 AM
I don't think it's fair to characterise autoerotic asphyxiation as creepy. It's just a method of enhancing your orgasms that happens to be a little dangerous. It doesn't hurt others.Delete
- weaselsoupMay 4, 2012 at 6:03 AM
it's showing off about being interested in it that's creepy. even tory mps try to hide their taste for that stuff.Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 6:35 AM
Really, Randall is just picking it as a zany option. He's probably not interested in it at all. xkcd isn't entirely autobiographical, after all. He's playing into prejudice against a relatively harmless activity himself, really.Delete
- weaselsoupMay 4, 2012 at 8:06 AM
'zany'. exactly. that's why it's so irritating. 'zany'. for fucksake. what next, you don't have to be mad and keraaaazy to enjoy xkcd, but it helps?Delete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 8:30 AM
By all means weaselsoup, tell us what turns *you* on. (feel free to be veeeeeeeery explicit. Please)Delete
- weaselsoupMay 4, 2012 at 8:41 AM
I would, but it's been a while. i'm not sure i can remember much about itDelete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 10:12 AM
in b4 ars amatoriaDelete
- weaselsoupMay 4, 2012 at 10:26 AM
yeah. i go to the theatre, the circus, all the military fucking triumphs i can find. but do guys ever offer to bet on my favourite horse? do they lift my skirt from the dusty ground, brush away imaginary dust or offer me their cushions. do they heck as like. great advice, ovidDelete
*sigh* another Wikipedia comic.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 3:54 AM
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 4:14 AM
1051- no wikipedia article reads like that, and if it does it should be cleaned up. Couldn't he at least find a way to work the embarrassing links into an actual article instead of using "which is also" and "a few blocks from?"ReplyDeleteReplies
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 7:14 AM
Autoerotic lactationReplyDelete
There's something very simple that most cuddlefish simply fail to grasp: reading xkcd is not bothersome. It's the fact that xkcd EXISTS that is bothersome. Whether we read it or not, that crap is still going around and people are still showing it off like a badge of True Geekiness. Reading xkcd is, in fact, a way of making that fact less bothersome. And having some fun.ReplyDelete
Is this REALLY hard to understand, or are the cuddlefish really that dumb? Well, they do enjoy xkcd, for starters.Replies
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 2:54 PM
>are the cuddlefish really that dumb?Delete
Someone once said that it is difficult for us to grasp the concept of infinity (e.g. infinite space) because our mind is finite. Likewise, how could a person with an ounce of intelligence even begin to fathom the stupidity of cuddlefish?
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 2:57 PM
- AnonymousMay 4, 2012 at 5:53 PM
Why are ALL his teacher called Miss Lenhart?ReplyDelete
1050 infuriated me in a way I haven't felt in a long time.ReplyDelete


text:
Scopetronix Digadapt Variable Eyepiece Projection Adapter for Digital Cameras (requires a T-ring to
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subset: commoncrawl


text:
White decor is not for everyone, says Tania Richardson, a principal partner with Tomas Pearce Interior Design in Toronto. "It's really sort of a lifestyle thing."
But where white does work well is way above ground, where condo dwellers tend to want to create a contemporary feel and capitalize on their wide-open spaces. Ms. Richardson has done a lot of all-white interiors in condos across the city. "When the average suite is only about 650 square feet, doing everything white helps create volume and makes a smaller space seem larger and more liveable," she says.
Of course, there are issues of practicality when you're planning to work with white. "I recently did a living room in white, but the couple always wore dark jeans and the dye rubbed off on the furniture," she says. "It's important to think about how you're going to use the space and the pieces you're going to live on."
Despite having both a child and a dog, Ms. Richardson went with white in her own loft. "I like the purity and simplicity of it," she says. "There's a certain cleanliness and elegance to an all-white environment." (She just uses Scotch Guard on white upholstery and adds an extra coat of paint to white walls. "They require a little more maintenance and when you're scrubbing them more often you can lose a layer of paint fairly quickly.")
Heather Shaw also lives in an all-white home in Toronto with her husband, two boys (ages six and eight) and two cats (black and tabby). The walls are white, the furnishings are white and the decor, for the most part, is white. "I can't even imagine not getting into white sheets at night," Ms. Shaw says.
While some might feel that cat fur and kids' fingers wouldn't be the best combination in such a lightly hued home, Ms. Shaw doesn't think of her preferred palette as having an absence of colour. "There are so many shades that there's really no such thing as a true white," says the Toronto textile artist. "I probably have 10 different off-whites in my home."
As for keeping things clean, Ms. Shaw says it's never been a problem. There are slipcovers on the upholstery, the kitchen stools are vinyl and the dining chairs are waxed linen, so she just wipes them clean. "Besides, I like to know when things are dirty," she says.
From a decor perspective, Ms. Shaw says white works well because it's a handy way to hide imperfections. For instance, her kitchen contains a mismatched collection of cabinets that a few coats of white paint quickly tied together. "You can't go wrong with white," Ms. Shaw says. "And it works in any room."
That's the nice thing about neutrals - they can be incredibly versatile, says Sarah Cole, director at Farrow & Ball in the U.K. There's a reason so many model suite walls are left neutral. "People generally feel comfortable with whites because they're easy to live with and can be used to great effect,
whether in a downtown condo or a lakeside cottage," Ms. Cole says. Although there are a few important tricks to making white work.
"Using just one white throughout a unit, or even within a room, can make it look flat," says Ms. Cole. "It's better to layer neutrals to add depth and interest and to create a more 'coloured' scheme." Farrow & Ball has 30 off-whites in its palette, all of which can be used as complementary neutrals to other colours, or as colours in their own right, she says. "There's a white to fit every room and style."
Another good thing about white is that it's a natural light reflector, so it's ideal in smaller suites where you want to create a feeling of light and space. "This is particularly true in west-facing rooms, where white enhances both natural and artificial light and gives you a wonderful airy feeling," Ms. Cole says. Using white on walls also gives you the option of adding low-level lighting, which re-flects off white to softly brighten the space, as opposed to being absorbed by a coloured wall.
For suites with large windows and lots of natural light, Ms. Richardson says window treatments are a must, especially when you're working with white. "In a condo you need blinds for privacy no matter what, but you should also have drapery to add some warmth, even if it's just decorative side panels."
The biggest risk to going with a white interior is it can make a condo feel cold and stark if it's not done right. The key, Ms. Richardson says, is to include a mix of textures to make a white room feel warmer. "White is hard, so it's important to add soft, textural elements to balance it." She likes using a variety of fabrics, such as lush velvet or chenille, along with silk, linen, leather and vinyl. "The secret is not to have everything in the same fabric. The materials should have some shimmer and some low-lustre at the same time."
Ms. Richardson also recommends adding layers of texture with area carpets, wallpaper, or white-on-white patterns that create areas of depth and shadow. And it helps to decorate a white room with a mix of accessories, including glass, ceramic, mirrors and crystal to add sparkle to the space.
For Ms. Shaw, a white palette provides the perfect backdrop for her nature-inspired decor. "White blends in nicely with more natural materials like wood, glass, metal, plants and twigs," she says. "I like form and being able to see the shapes of things, so not having a lot of colour in my home allows for the textures and qualities of the materials I use to stand out."
Ms. Shaw adds that the allwhite interior of her home makes it a gentle, soothing space. "The world is overwhelming enough as it is with too much visual information to take in," she says. "I wanted to make my home as calm and tranquil as possible and that's why I went with white."
Who says white is boring? The luxurious bathroom was designed by Tania Richardson of Tomas Pearce Interior Design.
White offers a soothing quality, but look closely to see a few different tones of it used in each room. All rooms by Farrow & Ball (which has 30 whites on its colour card) except top right kitchen by Tania Richardson of Tomas Pearce Design.


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Alexandre Edmond Becquerel, a French physicist, discovered photovoltaic effect in 1839 and thus unraveling the key principle to today's solar energy cells. In this, the supply of light and/or heat releases positive and negative charge carriers (photovoltaic effect), generating electricity which can directly charge batteries and power motors. This direct conversion of sunlight into electricity ( Photovoltaics ) has continually been developing in recent decades. The advantage of photovoltaics is generating clean, environmentally-friendly electricity independent of the utility grid.
Discover educational Toys. We offer you a very large selection of different solar-powered toys, with which your child can learn playfully the significance and the functioning of solar energy. Since the market for solar energy is booming, your child can develop competencies and knowledge in this area.Your child does not need to be of school age. There are clever and high-quality solar-powered toys for all ages, even for adults who are young at heart. Our selection of toys ranges from solar-powered wooden helicopters for toddlers to complex technical building sets that challenge the combined skills and the technical intelligence of your child. Just take a look around and make your children and yourselves the solar freaks with these solar-powered toys!
Small gadgets make up the largest share of household power consumption. This is usually due to the large number of small devices in modern households, from mixer to electric toothbrush, and not to the high power consumption of each single gadget. There are increasing numbers of electrical devices.In our shop you will find a selection of solar-powered household and portable devices. They even work when there is power grid failure and can even cut down on your electricity bill.
Fountains enable you to add charm and create a relaxing area in your garden with relatively little effort. Solar-powered fountains are environmentally friendly and energy saving. They function by means of photovoltaics. They are equipped with solar cells, which collect the sun's rays and convert them into electricity. Decorative fountains must be placed in a sunny location in the garden to ensure optimum functionality. You need the sun to power the fountain pump using the solar panel. The larger the amount of water, the higher the pump power and the more electricity you will need. The higher the fountain, the more solar cells you need to install. The lifespan of the pump also plays an important role. Solar-powered garden fountains do not necessarily have to be decorative fountains. They can also be functional fountains, which are used to improve the oxygen supply and to circulate water in garden ponds. A solar fountain rechargeable battery, which is charged with solar energy during the day and supplies the pump with electricity at night, make up for the power loss in the dark so you can also run them at night. Solar-powered illuminated fountains should also be equipped with a rechargeable battery.
Item number: 045092
This decoratively painted duck figure, made of metal with an antique effect finish, comes with a stake that is easy to insert into your lawn or garden bed. As soon as it gets dark, the duck begins to glow in either white or tri-colour-changing light.
including 19% VAT.,
Shipping time: 2 - 3 workdays
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Say what you will about Samsung, but it looks like they're finally sinking some money and resources into delivering quality apps for their users. Today, the Korean company has pushed out three new camera apps, which are all variations on a theme, but are still fun to use.
The three apps, Artistic Effect, Fun Shot and Color Effect, are all Lenses that can be launched to give live filters for your camera. The apps themselves are all designed around the same UI, though each comes with a dozen or so uniquely themed filters. While that may seem redundant, it's actually a smart move as it means you have less scrolling to do when selecting your filter. Not to mention, not everyone needs Fun Shot, which makes your images distorted for goofy results.
Here is the breakdown of the three new camera apps...
Artistic Effect
"Artistic Effect supports several effects including Pop Art, Cartoon, Magic Pen, Oil, Posterize and Sketch."
The lens is a bit gimmicky as it creates images akin to Sketch Camera. It's certainly a neat effect, especially since the filters are live, though if you're looking to make your photos pretty, this is more novelty than useful. Still, it's well done at least.
Pick up Artistic Effect here in the Samsung Zone.
Color Effect
"Colour Effect includes several effects including Antique, Vintage photos, Grayscale, Sepia, Retro, Sun, Downlight, Blue wash, Nostalgia, Brightness yellow, semi-transparent colors, Inverted, Sharpness, Tint light and blur."
This is straight up our most favorite new Lens for Samsung. It's nothing fancy, just a traditional filter Lens that allows you to change the hue and tone of the image, giving you an older film look. Think of the Instagram-effect and you'll understand. The filters though are well done and we could envisage using this Lens often.
Download Color Effect from the Samsung Zone here.
Fun Shot
"Fun Shot includes several effects including Curve, tweaks, Spin, Spiral, Narrowing, Stretch, Mirror, Kaleidoscope, Gallery and Reflector."
File this under novelty as well, Fun Shot allows you to select from a bunch of silly filters to give you a carnival mirror effect. It works well, though honestly we cringe whenever we see these types of images posted anywhere. But if you have kids, it could be a fun distraction.
Pick up Fun Shot from the Samsung Zone here.
Overall, these aren't mind blowing photography apps, but it's more the mindset here that's the story: Samsung is actually creating news apps for users. Just last week we saw a dual release from them in the form of App Folder and Video Trimmer, the week before, MangaCamera and Paper Artist and they also recently overhauled some of their existing apps. That's seven new apps and several app refreshes from a company who so far has been lukewarm for Windows Phone 8.
For those reasons, we're excited for those of you bought an ATIV device recently as finally, you're getting some attention.
Via: Windows Phone Italy


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GIT Server
ALSA Repositories
- alsa-driver.git
- contains compatibility and build code for 2.2, 2.4 and older 2.6 kernels
- alsa-kernel.git
- contains linux 2.6 kernel tree
- alsa-kmirror.git
- alsa kernel mirror tree for continuous development (contains ALSA parts from alsa-kernel.git tree)
- alsa-kprivate.git
- contains linux 2.6 kernel tree - for private branches for alsa developers
- alsa-lib.git
- library
- alsa-utils.git;
- utilities
- alsa-firmware.git
- firmware
- alsa-tools.git
- tools
- alsa-plugins.git
- plugins
- alsa-oss.git
- oss compatibility
- alsa-python.git
- official python binding
- alsa.git
- ALSA service repo (misc files)
Anonymous access
Read only GIT server
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-driver.git alsa-driver
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-kernel.git alsa-kernel
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-kmirror.git alsa-kmirror
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-kprivate.git alsa-kprivate
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-lib.git alsa-lib
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-utils.git alsa-utils
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-firmware.git alsa-firmware
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-tools.git alsa-tools
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-plugins.git alsa-plugins
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-oss.git alsa-oss
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-python.git alsa-python
- git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa.git alsa
Web interface
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-driver.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-kernel.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-kmirror.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-lib.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-utils.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-firmware.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-tools.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-plugins.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-oss.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/?p=alsa-python.git
HTTP access
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-driver.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-kernel.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-kmirror.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-lib.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-utils.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-firmware.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-tools.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-plugins.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-oss.git
- http://git.alsa-project.org/http/alsa-python.git
For developers - kernel drivers
Common rules
- 1) be very very very carefull when you use '--force' for 'git push', you can broke whole repository, you should notify other developers on alsa-devel mailing list that you will do this change for 'master' branch
- 2) valid 'Signed-off-by:' line must be in the commit text
Rules for alsa-kernel.git
- 1) subject (first commit text line) must start with '[ALSA] ' or 'ALSA: ' or '[sound] ' or 'sound: '
Rules for alsa-kprivate.git
No rules. Just do not overwrite branches created by someone else.
Note that 'master' branch in alsa-kernel.git is synced with alsa-kmirror.git 'master' branch automatically. So if you add a patch to alsa-kernel.git, it will be merged to alsa-kmirror.git (if no problem occurs) when you initiate 'git push' to the ALSA server. It's really required to see messages from the pre-receive script when something goes wrong. The script is trying to suggest what's going wrong and try to show you a problematic code (diff).
Pushing to 'alsa-kmirror.git' should be only done if:
- a) you fixing a sync problem
- b) you are modifying a file which is out of sync (scripts directory or so)
In all other cases, only alsa-kernel.git repository should be used.
The pre-receive script uses all four commit identifiers Author + AuthorDate + Commit + CommitDate to pair commits between alsa-kernel.git and alsa-kmirror.git. Use this information, if you like to add some commits manually to alsa-kmirror.git tree.
Common problems
- PRE-RECEIVE repositories does not match, please, fix it
- The alsa-kmirror.git#mastter and alsa-kernel.git#master sources does not match. You have to do manual changes in alsa-kmirror.git repository to sync trees. A diff between alsa-kmirror.git and alsa-kernel.git is printed to stderr, so you can analyze it and do appropriate steps.
- PRE-RECEIVE Patch failed - is it already merged?
- Appearently, you're trying to apply a patch which cannot be applied cleanly to alsa-kmirror.git#master. One reason might be that the patch is already applied, but the pre-receive script does not know about it. You may add commiter and commitdate to alsa-kmirror/scripts/git-ok-commits file to skip problematic commit (but only if you really verify, that this commit is already in the alsa-kmirror tree).
Clone repositories
git clone email@example.com:alsa-driver.git alsa-driver git clone email@example.com:alsa-kernel.git alsa-kernel git clone firstname.lastname@example.com:alsa-kmirror.git alsa-kmirror
To show all branches (includes remote ones):
git branch -a
To make a remote branch local:
git checkout -b for-linus origin/for-linus git checkout -b linux-2.6 origin/linux-2.6
Update and rebase using Linus's 2.6 kernel tree
Add remote URL:
git remote add linux-2.6 git://git.kernel.org/pub/scm/linux/kernel/git/torvalds/linux-2.6.git
Checkout linux-2.6 branch:
git checkout linux-2.6
Pull Linus's 2.6 changes:
git pull linux-2.6 master
Rebase our main ALSA development master branch with linux-2.6:
git rebase linux-2.6 master
Push branch changes to ALSA GIT repository
git push --tags origin master:refs/heads/master git push --tags origin linux-2.6:refs/heads/linux-2.6 git push --tags origin for-linus:refs/heads/for-linus
Note: Especially after 'git rebase' the repository on server is not consistent with local repository (remote ref is not ancestor of the local ref for master branch), so you have to use --force parameter for 'git push' command. Note that this might be dangerous - please, ask Jaroslav Kysela < perex at perex . cz > if you can do this for branch 'master'.
- master
- this branch is for main development, managed by Jaroslav Kysela, it is rebased before ALSA releases
- the contents is synced to alsa-kmirror.git
- linux-next
- this branch is for linux next testing tree (originaly maintaned by Andrew Morton), rebased
- for-linus
- this branch is for mainstream tree (for Linus Torvalds), just temporary branch
- linux-2.6
- this is official linux 2.6 mainstream tree
- stable-2.6.<number>
- patches for stable 2.6 kernels
Private tags are not allowed. Only tags identifying ALSA version (alsa-kmirror.git and alsa-driver.git) or official linux kernel version (alsa-kernel.git) are allowed.
GIT server is maintaned by User:Perex.
Occasional Developers
This section is for developers without write access to ALSA git. I.e. who will clone repos and send in patches
clone the repository
git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-driver.git alsa-driver git clone git://git.alsa-project.org/alsa-kmirror.git alsa-kmirror
configure git
Set your email address correctly otherwise commits get spurious email address for Author and Commiter
git-config --add user.email email@example.com
Make sure it knows how to send email (for patches)
git-config --add sendemail.smtpserver smtp.domain.com
save current
in case you want to roll back
git-branch save
do your work
edit, compile, test, sweat
If it didn't work out and you want to get back to the old tree
git-reset --hard save
generate patches
Want to get patch against latest, so rebase
git-rebase origin/master git-diff remotes/origin/master
Then do this to generate the patchset
git-format-patch -s -n -p --subject-prefix="PATCH - my module" remotes/origin/master
check the patches
/lib/modules/`uname -r`/build/scripts/checkpatch.pl --no-tree *.patch
sending the patches
git-send-email --from=me --email@example.com --email@example.com 000*.patch
get up to date
For both alsa-kmirror and alsa-driver
Sometimes you can just make and things will be fine. However, when there have been changes to the build system etc, its best to do a make clean; ./gitcompile to get the tree properly up to date.


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Orrin Hatch feels 'debt of obligation' in final term as senator
01/06/2013 9:05amSen. Orrin Hatch took the oath of office in the U.S. Senate on Thursday for the seventh and final time.
Cities offer curb-side pick up for old Christmas trees
01/06/2013 9:45amWith the new year marking the end of the holiday season, cities are again offering to take old Christmas trees out of residents' hands.
Grant will allow study of rural Utah towns
01/06/2013 10:20amA Utah State University student has received a grant to study rural towns along a scenic southern Utah road.
First Habit Burger opening in Utah
01/06/2013 12:00pmA California-based burger chain is opening its first Utah location and is looking to immediately give back to the community.
Man shot in ankle at party, limps to West Valley bar
01/06/2013 1:25pmPolice were searching Sunday for a man involved in a shooting after a wounded man limped into a bar.
Suspected accomplice of costumed robber identified
01/06/2013 4:23pmPolice have identified a woman who they believe may have been involved in a restaurant robbery, carjacking and shootout with an officer Saturday night. She and a costumed accomplice are still on the run.
BYU project will track mule deer for relocation
01/06/2013 5:32pmCreatures of habit, mule deer make poor candidates for relocation by wildlife officials. So researchers will keep an eye on 50 mule deer in greener pastures after their removal from Utah's Parowan front.
Up to $10k for anglers who catch unwanted fish in Flaming Gorge
01/06/2013 6:19pmAnglers can win up to $10,000 next month if they reel one of the unwanted burbot fish in the Flaming Gorge Reservoir on the Utah-Wyoming border.
11-year-old soccer player remains in coma after cardiac arrest at game
01/06/2013 9:59pmIt's been six weeks since Utah State University basketball player Danny Berger collapsed during a practice. As shocking as it was to see someone so physically fit succumb to a cardiac problem, it has happened again to another Utah athlete: 11-year-old Alan Zapata.
Mormon Tabernacle Choir offers comfort to Sandy Hook, Newtown
01/06/2013 10:30pmThe Mormon Tabernacle Choir dedicated Sunday's "Music and the Spoken Word" to the 26 children and adults who lost their lives at Sandy Hook Elementary.
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Description:HP 2012sa Single Controller Modular SAN ArrayManufacturer Part# AJ752A
Overview: The HP 2000sa Modular Smart Array (MSA2000sa) represents the end-to-end Serial Attached SCSI (SAS) model of the MSA2000 family a new generation of HP storage arrays specifically designed for entry-level customers featuring the very latest in functionality and technology at highly affordable price points. The MSA2000sa is a member of HP Modular Smart Array offerings delivering simple and affordable storage technology to meet today's demanding and growing IT needs. These storage solutions offer excellent price/performance and availability features for direct attach environments small clusters workgroups and entry-level SAN environments. Each solution is designed to be easy to deploy secure with low management costs while driving rapid return on investment.


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No old photographs this time, but some old ruins. This prompt is right up my street and it has been difficult making a choice of what to feature, so I have focussed on my own area of the Border Country.
The Scottish Borders is the forgotten corner of Scotland, between Edinburgh to the north and the English border and Carlisle to the south. This was the Debatable Land fought over by English and Scots in the 15th and 16th centuries - the land of the Border Reivers, with raids and counter raids by prominent families of Scott, Armstrong, Turnbull, Elliot, Kerr, Pringle and many other distinctive names associated with the area. So the area abounds with castles, peel/pele towers and ancient strongholds.


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Cooperation agreements
In a global framework, no organization is able to act efficiently alone. Cooperation is needed with other relevant institutions that are capable of providing additional assistance or knowledge.
For this purpose, INTERPOL has established strong relationships with a wide variety of international organizations – intergovernmental and non-governmental – acting in different fields of interest of the Organization.
While INTERPOL's cooperation with other international organizations has been expanding rapidly especially during the last decade, a need for joint efforts was recognized early on in the Organization's history. One of the oldest agreements, with the Council of Europe, dates back to the 1960s.
Since then agreements have been established with many organizations such as:
- United Nations and several of its specialized agencies;
- European Union;
- Commonwealth of Independent States;
- International Criminal Court;
- African Union;
- Organization of American States;
- Arab Interior Ministers' Council.
In order to provide a clear legal basis for working together, INTERPOL has concluded a number of cooperation agreements with these day-to-day partners.
Each agreement is specific for the scope of cooperation established, and contains provisions relative to the practical work of the organizations concerned. They can include such provisions as conditions for the exchange of information, reciprocal representation within the other organization or means of technical assistance.
In practice, the cooperation can take the form or information exchange, mutual investigative projects or by direct or indirect access to the each others databases.
List of cooperation agreements between INTERPOL and other international organizations
The establishment of a cooperation agreement is done through mutual negotiations and the drafting of an agreement that can be satisfactory to both parties. The final version is then signed by the competent representatives, often by the Secretary General of INTERPOL and his equivalent in the other organization.
The agreements are, however, living documents and they can be modified or replaced by a new agreement if a need for additional forms of cooperation arises and both parties agree on the needed modification.
In conformity with Article 41 of the Organization's Constitution, agreements concerning relations with other international organizations may be concluded by INTERPOL.
Such agreements must be approved by the General Assembly. Once approved, the President of the Organization (or the Secretary General by delegation) is authorized to sign them.
However, in accordance with Article 22 of the Organization's Constitution, the General Assembly at its 67th session (Cairo, 1998) and 69th session (Rhodes, 2000) decided to delegate to the Executive Committee the power to approve cooperation agreements with other international organizations. The General Assembly considered it necessary to simplify the procedure and speed up the process of negotiating cooperation agreements.
Yet, some agreements do not need to be approved by the General Assembly or the Executive Committee. For instance, Agreements concluded with United Nations subsidiary bodies are not subject to the formal procedure established by Article 41 of the Constitution.
With effect from 3 January 2001, INTERPOL is a party to the 1986 Vienna Convention on the Law of Treaties between States and International Organizations or between International Organizations (see Instrument of accession). Agreements concluded by the Organization respect the essential conditions of this Convention.
Model police cooperation agreement
The development of a model police cooperation agreement is a concept which has gained ground within INTERPOL. Indeed, it seems natural that the Organization should provide its member countries with the legal tools they need to facilitate cooperation they initiate bilaterally.
A model agreement has therefore been compiled on the basis of numerous studies, which reflects a wealth of experience in international police cooperation.
In adopting this instrument, in particular for those member states which have not yet developed this form of cooperation to a large extent, the Organization is fulfilling its role as set out in the Constitution, namely "to ensure and promote the widest possible mutual assistance between all criminal police authorities, and to establish and develop all institutions likely to contribute effectively to the prevention and suppression of ordinary law crimes".
Model bilateral police cooperation agreement (in English)
List of police cooperation agreements mentioning INTERPOL
- Agreement between Benin, Ghana, Nigeria and Togo on criminal police co-operation (Lagos, 1984)
- Agreement between Spain and Sweden on police co-operation in combating terrorism, drug trafficking and organized crime (11th May 1989)
- Agreement between France and Sweden on police co-operation in combating terrorism, drug trafficking and organized crime (15th December 1989)
- Convention on applying the Schengen Agreement of 14th June 1985 between the Governments of the Benelux Economic Union, the Federal Republic of Germany and the French Republic on the gradual abolition of checks at their common borders (Title III, Police and security) (19th June 1990)
- Agreement between Bulgaria and Germany on co-operation in combating organized crime and drug trafficking (14th September 1992)
- Agreement between the Ministers of the Interior of Azerbaijan, Armenia, Belarus, Georgia, Kazakhstan, Moldova, Russia, Tadjikistan, Turkmenistan, Uzbekistan, Ukraine and Estonia on co-operation in controling illegal trafficking in narcotic drugs and psychotropic substances (1992)
- Memorandum between the Belgian Gendarmerie and the National Police of Hungary (27th May 1994)
- Exchange of Letters between France and Belgium relating to cross-border police co-operation (16th March 1995)
- Memorandum of Understanding on co-operation in police matters, justice and immigration between the Ministers of Justice of Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg, the Ministers of the Interior of Belgium, the Netherlands and Luxembourg (4th June 1996)
- Agreement between the Minister of Justice and the Minister of the Interior of the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg and the Minister of the Interior and the Minister of Justice of the Kingdom of Belgium on cross-border police co-operation between Belgium and Luxembourg (4th June 1996)
- Joint Declaration by the Belgian Gendarmerie and the Hungarian National Police (5th July 1996)
- Agreement between the Government of the Kingdom of Sweden and the Government of the Republic of Hungary on co-operation in combating organized crime, illegal trafficking in narcotic drugs and psychotropic substances, terrorism and other forms of serious crime (23rd April 1997)
- SARPCCO multilateral co-operation agreement and mutual assistance in the field of crime combating (Harare, 30th October 1997)
- Agreement between the Swiss Federal Council and the French Government on cross-border co-operation in judicial, police and customs matters (11th May 1998)
- Police co-operation agreement between France and South Africa (26th June 1998)
- Co-operation agreement between the Government of the Republic of Bulgaria, the Government of Romania and the Government of the Republic of Turkey on combating terrorism, organized crime, illicit trafficking in narcotic drugs and psychotropic substances, money laundering, trafficking in arms and human beings and other major crimes (16th April 1998)
- Agreement on co-operation in criminal police matters between the Central African States (29th April 1999)
- Draft police co-operation convention between the Government of the Kingdom of Belgium and the Governments of Central European and Eastern European countries (2nd July 1997).
- Draft Agreement on co-operation in criminal police matters between countries of the sub-region of West Africa (1998)
- Draft police co-operation convention between the Government of the Kingdom of Belgium and the Government of the Republic of Bulgaria (1998)
In this section
- An organization under international law
- The Constitution
- Fundamental texts
- Compliance with the rules
- Neutrality (Article 3 of the Constitution)
General Assembly Resolutions
- Resolutions 2010 to present
- Resolutions 2000 to 2009
- Resolutions 1990 to 1999
- Resolutions 1980 to 1989
- Resolutions 1970 to 1979
- Resolutions 1960 to 1969
Individuals' rights
International relations
- Cooperation agreements
- List of Cooperation agreements
- Conventions mentioning INTERPOL
- Agreement on privileges and immunities with France