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Saturday, May 8, 2010
Comic 737: Dated Humor
Sigh. Okay, so this is one of those weird comics that comes up from time to time that just don't seem to have a purpose. It's not a joke, it's not an attempt at interesting or insightful commentary, it's just a couple of stick people exchanging "witty banter" (or perhaps, in the striking phrase of one commenter, "two douchebags arguing over something inconsequential") that is neither witty nor banter. (Discuss!)
I don't have anything against actual witty banter, mind. It's one of the defining elements of screwball comedy, and I love me some screwball comedies (plus stuff that doesn't really qualify but is clearly screwball-influenced). But there are two major, major differences between something like this and something like (the good, 1940s) Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
One: All good screwball movies -- actually, most comedies of any stripe that are worth anything -- ground their dialogue in strong characterization. Since everyone in xkcd-land is indistinguishable unless they're a girl or wear a hat, Randall has never developed strong characters. So this strip lives in a vacuum, a portal to a few seconds of two friends' lives (or are they really friends, after all? Can anyone really ever know another person well enough to be a true friend? Yes, duh, you're fucking retarded for asking) with none of the before or after to provide valuable context. It's another example of Randy doing something that might be funny in the right hands, but fails miserably thanks to the arbitrary restrictions he's set on his comic.
Two: Screwball comedies are, y'know, funny. This is more like a bad Johnny Carson joke: "This yogurt is really old. "HOW OLD IS IT?" "It's so old, people were using a different calendar when it was packaged!" Except Carson would never use that, since it's terrible and makes no sense, thus the May 7/May 12 crap to make it "work." Except even then, if you dig into it, it still doesn't actually make sense; the Julian calendar is currently 13 days behind the Gregorian calendar (which we use), so yogurt that expires May 12 Julian would expire May 25 Gregorian -- in particular, it'd still be good on May 7 of whatever year. Plus, to get technical about it, "civilization" never used the Julian calendar exclusively (think China), and between the 1400s and 1918 even different parts of the Western world used different calendars. Oh, and more importantly, it's incredibly awkward (would any real person ever say "when this was packaged was civilization using the Julian or Gregorian calendar"?) and unfunny. So there's that.
In conclusion, this is textbook bad xkcd: Randall writes a "joke" that's way too complicated for its payoff, puts it in the mouths of characters we've never seen before and will never see again (with not one but two lines of post-"punchline" dialogue), and draws it shittily. And then to top it off he can't even think of anything different for the alt-text.
A postscript: some commenters have said shit like "I've never seen a perishable product with an expiration date that did not include the year." So I'mma blow your friggin' minds now by telling you what I believe to be the SUPER-SECRET ORIGIN STORY of this terrible comic.
We know a certain dorm at MIT, which shall remain unnamed to protect the weird. A long time ago, there lived in the dorm a mildly lactose-intolerant senior, who decided one fine October afternoon to make himself some macaroni and cheese. (He was only mildly lactose-intolerant, remember.) So he bought some milk, cheese, macaroni, made his dinner and put the rest of the groceries in the community fridge. For the rest of the year, however, he never gave a thought to that milk when he opened the fridge -- after all, it couldn't be his, since he was lactose-intolerant!
Anyway, eventually the spring semester came and went, and the lactose-intolerant student cleaned out the fridge for the last time, but left the milk, thinking it was someone else's. Summer passed, August came, and people started to move in to the dorm for the fall. They noticed the milk, with its stated expiration date of OCT 18, and thought: Huh. I didn't know milk kept for that long.
Well, it doesn't.
Pretty quickly the truth was discovered, but instead of throwing out the year-old milk (now known as The Milk), the students (perhaps addled by the courseload) decided to keep it. It's still there, some 15 years later, living in its very own mini-fridge. A few years ago, it even had a bar mitzvah (question for Jewish readers: would it be kosher for sentient The Milk to eat meat?) I don't know if there are special plans for its 16th, but if they are, I'm sure they're awesome. Unlike the comic.
89 comments:
Considering that the rule against eating meat and dairy at the same meal is an absurd overextension of the phrase "Thou shalt not cook a calf in its mother's milk" in the first place, I'm going to assume it's not kosher. Why not extend it further?ReplyDelete
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 2:18 PM
Well, we're sentient meat (although human is decidedly NOT kosher) and we can drink milk... Why not the other way around?ReplyDelete
But hey, I am completely in favor of gettin' some Talmudic-style arguments up in here! (Note: I am in fact not Jewish, not even a secular Jew)
- Dan! (the new guy!)May 8, 2010 at 2:34 PM
... I really enjoyed the MIT story ... made me think of something that would belong in "van wilder" ... and bonus points for the great movie suggestions! I've only seen some like it hot!, but!, I'm sure the others are just as good! :D (as a side note: comedy gold: the last line in some like it hot! ... though something like that would fall flat with xkcd's faceless characters)ReplyDelete
As for the comic, well, it doesn't deserve any mention besides this sentence.
-Dan (the new guy!)
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 3:01 PM
"We know a certain dorm at MIT, which shall remain unnamed to protect the weird."ReplyDelete
Random Hall. The weird don't need protection.
Man, that MIT story is glorious.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 3:31 PM
"I don't know if there are special plans for its 16th, but if they are, I'm sure they're awesome."ReplyDelete
As a resident of a country with an age of consent of 16, this line made me feel queasy.
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 3:33 PM
This is what annoyed me most about this comic:ReplyDelete
And this is after he's exclaimed how bad it looks. Presumably Randall is trying to make some joke along the lines of 'haha people eat food that's way out of date'. But it just doesn't make sense for the guy to have this sudden conversion from disgust to interest.
people celebrate age of consent in your country? where the fuck are you from? where I come from people have already been fucking for a good long while and don't really pay attention to age of consent laws, because they are kids.ReplyDelete
however, the 16th birthday is often celebrated as a coming-of-age ceremony, mostly for girls but also to a lesser extent for boys. here, there's a whole wikipedia article about it!
but I guess if you're a creeper I can see why your mind would go to 'it's not statutory rape anymore' when you hear about sixteenth birthdays.
Yeah, that would be the kind of thing that would happen at Random.ReplyDelete
If that happened at Senior House, they'd just let it sit for as many years as possible and dare each other to drink it through their nose.
Captcha: bring [it on, bitches]
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 4:01 PM
I liked this comic. The joke is that even though he knows it's old by the smell, when he reads a date that's coming up in a couple weeks, it still registers as "not old." This comic is thus a commentary on how we are inclined to take societal stamps of approval for what is true and not true as evidence of the truth in itself, even when our own senses might suggest otherwise. We have become willing to adapt our beliefs to what we expect rather than what is true. The satire author Terry Prachett once makes a joke in one of his novels to the effect that the characters in his story become unable to see a horse once it is up a flight of stairs in his house, because a horse wouldn't be in your house and it certainly couldn't go up stairs. We believe what "makes sense" rather than what is true.ReplyDelete
Okay, seriously, this is probably just a commentary on yogurt dating rather than wider society, but the same principle applies. The joke is that even though he rationally knows it's old yogurt, he still doubts himself when he says the apparently future date written down. I can relate to that, it would cause confusion in me if the two things did not match.
The gregorian calendar thing is not that funny admittedly, but it's not the same focus of the joke.
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 4:08 PM
Jack: I, along with probably most people with brains, read that as sarcasm. Is it Randall's fault for not making it clearer? Sure, a little. But it's also your fault for being a moron.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 4:38 PM
"the Julian calendar is currently 13 days behind the Gregorian calendar (which we use), so yogurt that expires May 12 Julian would expire May 25 Gregorian -- in particular, it'd still be good on May 7 of whatever year."ReplyDelete
Not true! If you think about it, the purpose of the Gregorian calendar was to fix the leap year system to reduce the amount of error that accumulates. It does this by DROPPING leap days. As such, the Gregorian calendar has to come BEFORE the Julian calendar, because that's the only change.
And, for reference:
This was still a horrible xkcd though, no denying that.
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 4:42 PM
Er, followup to the previous post, because I just realised I'm an idiot. Of course the Gregorian calendar is ahead, dfshjkdfhf. http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=convert+Julian+calendar+may+12+to+Gregorian+calendarReplyDelete
I don't understand what you mean by sounding awkward--how would YOU say the line Georgian and Julian calendars? It sounded pretty normal to me.ReplyDelete
- IshmaelMay 8, 2010 at 5:41 PM
"fucking retarded"? Where do you live, Utah? Why don't you attack ethnic minorities while you're at it? That's just as much fun!ReplyDelete
Try thinking before writing next time.
- jogiffMay 8, 2010 at 5:54 PM
I personally enjoyed the alt-text, but maybe it was because I imagined Randall keeping food in his refrigerator long after it had passed the expiration date in order to salvage it in almost a year because it will surely be good by then. Maybe it's because I personally can't imagine keeping food for that long after it had expired.ReplyDelete
Also, what do you think Randall does about food that has an expiration date before January 5? Does he refuse to eat it before New Years Day because "it expired almost a year ago!" Food for thought.
On another note, Ishmael, remember when you threw that tantrum after someone used the word "retard?" Remember how you ended up looking like a fucking retard? I would have thought that you would have learned your lesson by now, but I guess not.
""fucking retarded"? Where do you live, Utah? Why don't you attack ethnic minorities while you're at it? That's just as much fun!"ReplyDelete
file under "examples of why having intelligent discourse about discrimination is impossible"
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 6:35 PM
If I lived in Utah, I probably wouldn't say "fucking," would I? Think before you write, gosh dang it.ReplyDelete
Also, maybe in my next post I will attack ethnic minorities! There's no telling what that crazy Harrison will do!
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 6:37 PM
(By the way, when I said "crazy" there, I in no way meant to offend the mentally ill. Honestly, I'm not biased against anybody and in person I'm one of the nicest people you'd ever meet, and anyone who thinks otherwise is probably some sort of fuckin' Jew.)ReplyDelete
as a crazy-american I am very offended at youReplyDelete
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 6:54 PM
as an offensive-american i am offended by people who claim to get offended by me, i can't help itReplyDelete
- TriplenessMay 8, 2010 at 7:03 PM
Kashrut is only applicable to Jews. So unless the milk is Jewish, Jewish law doesn't care very much what it eats (as long as it doesn't eat living animals).ReplyDelete
Of course, if it had a Bar Mitzvah that would imply that it IS Jewish, which would raise a host of other questions. For example, is the milk circumcised?
"The satire author Terry Prachett once makes a joke in one of his novels to the effect that the characters in his story become unable to see a horse once it is up a flight of stairs in his house, because a horse wouldn't be in your house and it certainly couldn't go up stairs. We believe what "makes sense" rather than what is true."ReplyDelete
Didn't Douglas Adams play with a similar concept, the SEP (Someone Else's Problem)? Because that would make TWO good writers who made a commentary that Randall is too incompetent to even try to tackle.
That comic is a car crash. It's a train wreck. It's mangled, messed up, and gloriously pointless. I think it came up at this time to remind us that, yes, xkcd is STILL going downhill, and the recent (relatively) good comics were just exceptions to the rule.
Why's everyone being racist against utah'ians? and like, americans in general?! ... i think the rest of the world is full of retards, especially when they're discriminating against people from utah! ... SEE!, i said PEOPLE from utah!, they're PEOPLE too!, not fucking retards or jews! (or retarded jews! ... could you imagine?!)ReplyDelete
... too far?, i think not! :D
On a side note, I think those captcha's are getting to the point where it's nearly as dificult for a human to decipher them as compared to a machine.
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 7:56 PM
Dan! i love your gimmick ... it's hilarious!, but the proper name for people from utah is utahns! (i know, it's a wierd word!! but it's true!)ReplyDelete
also, they're not a race! :D so you can't be racist against them...
Fernie, it's a fairly common trope (which, yeah, but I'm not linking to TV Tropes, because it's sort of kryptonite to me. But I think they call it Weirdness Censor?
Anyway, it's a common fictional device, but it's also true. Look at the theory of the Big Lie, for instance. That said? This comic is not a commentary on that. This comic is a joke about "ha ha this yogurt is so old, man." It's a stupid idea, and it's presented in a way that makes me ashamed to be of the same species as Randall.
- Gamer_2k4May 8, 2010 at 8:21 PM
"I don't understand what you mean by sounding awkward--how would YOU say the line Georgian and Julian calendars? It sounded pretty normal to me."ReplyDelete
You wouldn't say it, and that's what makes it awkward.
harrison: tvtropes makes you lose all your powers?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 8, 2010 at 9:15 PM
tvtropes sucked entire afternoons away from me.ReplyDelete
- harrisonMay 8, 2010 at 9:25 PM
Um... uh... powers? What powers? I'm just mild-mannered, unassuming math student Harrison B------. Certainly I don't have any powers.ReplyDelete
- Ranarius WebfootMay 8, 2010 at 9:30 PM
Tripleness: I'm willing to bet that The Milk does not, in fact, have a foreskin.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 9, 2010 at 2:04 AM
Milk that old may very well have developed a foreskin.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 9, 2010 at 2:25 AM
With the alt-text it feels like Randall is trying to force a meme relating to expiration dates. I look forward to the Wet Riffesque expiredyogurt.com where engineering students with crappy beards and math-related t-shirts film themselves eating year old yogurt with the year part of the expiration label covered over with whiteout.ReplyDelete
@Anonymous 2:25ReplyDelete
I too look forward to such an expiredyogurt.com, because then there will be far less ESWCBaMRTS to give Randall money and fame.
captcha: Sporse: n. A spousal horse.
"That said? This comic is not a commentary on that. This comic is a joke about "ha ha this yogurt is so old, man." "ReplyDelete
Yep, I also got that -- it's a joke on expiration dates, and the only way in which it could possibly work is in a much bigger context with already familiar characters, i.e. pretty much what you said in your post. Well established characters could have a fun conversation coming up with excuses to pretend expired food is still good to eat, but 1) that conversation needs to be REALLY well written, 2) that excludes comments on the Gregorian and Julian calendars.
Did anyone else notice that the art style is different? Not much, but the lines are a little thicker now, and I think the boxes are spaced wider. Is Randall changing something? Because his art has been stagnant since basically 436. Only thing I noticed about it, other than the joke not making any sense. Actually, it doesn't even sound like xkcd, more like a guest strip.ReplyDelete
- IshmaelMay 9, 2010 at 1:17 PM
We're SO lucky it's OK to pick on disabled, because unlike other minorities, as we all know, they don't have feelings, they never visit the internet, and do they even exist? Right.
And I thought this blog was good...
You mean this blog is /awesome/!ReplyDelete
Worst. Xkcd. Ever. Vomit-worthy. Why does the alt text just repeat what one of the characters already said? Usually the alt text is the one enjoyable part of an otherwise crappy xkcd, but in this case it just reminds you of the crappy comic it accompanies.ReplyDelete
And I've read the commenters attempting to justify this comic by pointing out the general public's over-compliance with date stamps. But personally, I've never known anyone who freely partakes in some spoiled or rotten product just because the date stamp says it may be good. The characters even point out that it may not be May 12 of this year, but of some previous year. Literally (yes, Randall, I mean this in the literal sense) I have never known anyone who shares your belief. It's not a funny or cute belief, like about how newscasters shouldn't say "backslash" when reading URLs -- it's just *stupid* to believe that.
- AnonymousMay 9, 2010 at 3:44 PM
I know some people are going to get upset at me for trying to threadjack here but Ishmael started it.ReplyDelete
We call a ship that's been pierced "crippled," and "disabled." No one finds that offensive, do you know why? It's because they ARE crippled/disabled. Some people might find the term cripple offensive when it is used as a noun, but it's a perfectly legitimate adjective.
I have Asperger's. I'm not one of these self-diagnosed fucktards, I am definitely autistic. But when someone accuses someone of being an asspie because they lack any ability to recognize how they should act in a situation I don't get offended. Maybe it's because I don't define myself by my condition, the same way people in wheelchairs don't define themselves by their disability.
So, in conclusion, stop being so fucking retarded, Ishmael.
- AlsworthMay 9, 2010 at 3:46 PM
Ishmael, I swear we've gone over this before (maybe because we have). There are a lot of people on the Internet that make fun of just about any target there is. I'm not saying this is okay, nor that you shouldn't be upset, merely that spitting into a lake of bile is not necessarily the best solution.ReplyDelete
I mention this merely because this seems to be a sore spot for you, and I think you would be wise to drop the point. This is probably not the best time, or the best medium.
nothing encourages people to stop using a word that you find distasteful like going on wild rants about how bigoted and hateful they are for using it. always assume bad faith and make deranged accusations! it advances the cause!ReplyDelete
- ScottMcTonyMay 9, 2010 at 5:28 PM
Now wait a goddamn minute Rob!ReplyDelete
Oh wait, I see it all now.
Ishmael you fucking returd.
I am a poop bigot :(
- jogiffMay 9, 2010 at 5:35 PM
Has anyone considered that Ishmael may be a cuddlefish attempting to discourage any candid discussion of XKCD's many failings?ReplyDelete
Because I absolutely refuse to believe that anyone could really be that fucking retarded.
- AnonymousMay 9, 2010 at 10:01 PM
This is how you do a comic about expired dairy.ReplyDelete
I'm betting this comic was inspired by an actual conversation he had with someone that was oh so hilarious at the time. He wanted to share this humour with the world, but it wouldn't transfer into comic form any more than it would work if he'd related it to a friend later on, because we don't personally know and appreciate [Stickman 2]'s style of... well, whatever it is. And then he posted it anyways because somebody's eating this sh!t up:
Six comments in, and "Goomh". "Finally! a strip with some culture!" is kinda funny in a terrible-pun way, though -- pity that couldn't work its way into the alt-text.
- AnonymousMay 9, 2010 at 10:13 PM
What, exactly, would be more dangerous about performing surgery on a child that has swallowed an operation buzzer than anything else? If the scalpel touches the buzzer and it sounds, it's not like the child dies or there are any negative consequences.ReplyDelete
But not only that, the single most dangerous surgery EVER?!
Why wouldn't you say it? Is this one of those "Don't even joke about that, man!" topics? If so, why? I mean, I've certainly heard people use hyperbole like this to suggest that something (or someone) is really old. Like so:
"Back in my day we didn't HAVE afternoon recess!"
"Well, sure; that would have been dangerous when you were a kid, what with all the dinosaurs running around."
So what makes the calendar reference different from any other obviously hyperbolic suggestion of age?
Your momma's so old, she owes Caligula a reach around.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 12:41 AM
@ Chris: Yea, and that was a stupid joke too. That's something that you might hear from a bad 90s sitcom but it just wouldn't fly today.ReplyDelete
Here's an edit of the yogurt comic. I haven't been doing edits for some time, but Ravenzomg's link inspired me to create this... thing.ReplyDelete
For some reason, I find the depiction of God as a stick figure with a glowing penis amusing.
@anonymous 12:41:ReplyDelete
Hey, I'm no comedian--I readily admit that Joe's joke was much better than mine. But the point under discussion wasn't whether the joke was 'stupid,' but whether anyone would ever say something like that. And people DO. People do make lame jokes about airplane food, and people do make silly hyperbolic statements about how old things are. For one thing, the 2008 election (with regard to Senator McCain) comes to mind. Whether such jokes are funny and original is an entirely separate issue--I merely disagree with the assertion that they are never told. Whether it would 'fly' or not is unimportant to my point. Just because I disagree about one thing (whether the line is unnatural) does not mean I disagree on all things (whether the joke is funny). Just as this blog often concedes a few good points even in an xkcd comic that ultimately falls flat, I can disagree with one particular point made in the blog without contesting the overall assessment.
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 5:06 AM
I actually like 738. It's got a nice ironic twist in it, and it's not heavily dependent on art.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 6:05 AM
where's the irony?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 6:10 AM
@Anon 6:05 A double meaning I guess. I just like it for some reason. I use irony very liberally.ReplyDelete
(Anon 5:06)
I'm okay with today's comic. It doesn't start with "I" or "my" and that's enough for me these days.ReplyDelete
- AlsworthMay 10, 2010 at 7:21 AM
I haven't decided whether 738 is funny or not. I think it's "the most dangerous surgery EVARR" because the instant the buzzer sounds, the surgeon has to reflexively start over. Not totally realistic, but as long as the comic KNOWS it's not realistic, then it has potential.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 7:26 AM
This comic is. UTTER. SHIT! And unnecessary punctuation used to add inflexion and rhythm in a written sentence is. WEIRD. BUT. AWESOME!ReplyDelete
Anyway, it starts bad. The art is shoddy, with those weird thick and squiggly lines just like that hurricane hunter comic had. Randall seems to be trying his hand at a thick pen line instead of using the fine ink tool, but that's just speculation. It looks bad, though.
Then the joke is horrible and confuse. Is it that there's no year on the expiration date, but the yogurt is so obviously past its due date(and more)? Is it the "Gregorian x Julian" comment on the third panel? I don't know, but they both suck!
And, finally, Randall has taken PPD to a new level, with Post-Punchline-Whole-Panel! That third panel is a disaster! If it has the punchline(that comment about using the Gregorian or Julian calendar), it makes no sense, because the thing still doesn't have an year on it! And then there's a guy with a laptop that has nothing to do with anything else. I have the impression Randall looked at this comic already finished and thought "Gee, there's nothing that my nerd herd can relate to, what can I do?" then he put this guy with a laptop there. And the final dialogue is stupid. The final line, in fact, is obviously a sarcastic and very annoying remark, which makes this comic with an even worse aftertaste than usual.
It's a train wreck, indeed, and I'm lucky I don't like watching those sorts of accidents, or I'd be still looking at that. Uck.
I'm hoping Randall will be back to doing good comics today, but, frankly, my hope stock is pretty low.
Caochún amach.
Today's comic doesn't refer to "most DANGEROUS operation", but "most DIFFICULT". I admit I don't understand what was the intention: if the doctor instinctively reacts to the sound of the buzzer, or if the game was much harder than a real operation, or both. I don't think it was bad, just not VERY funny. Chuckle-worthy, maybe.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 7:28 AM
Alternative caption for 738:ReplyDelete
A child swallows an 'Operation' buzzer (along with the batteries, battery housing and all necessary wiring) and it arranges itself in his digestive system so that a surgeon's scalpel can complete the circuit and thus activate the buzzer, leading to the single most difficult surgery ever performed.
Maybe the electronics in this situation are as craaaaaaazy as that circuit diagram a few comics back.
738 would only really make any sense if the child had swallowed, not just the buzzer, but the entire game.ReplyDelete
I've got this one sorted: Randall lives in a parallel dimension where kids were still playing "Operation" in 2004, and his cautionary tale filtered over to our reality, where people are sensible and don't laugh at unfunny shit.ReplyDelete
If he'd written "1983" then I might've had something to think about.
- Lester RoquefortMay 10, 2010 at 7:56 AM
- FemalethothMay 10, 2010 at 9:23 AM
Wait, why the hell DOES this take place in 2004? Is there something special about 10/2004?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 10:34 AM
"XKCD == Reality"ReplyDelete
These xkcdtards are getting funnier by the day. Also, more annoying.
Mole out.
- ScottMcTonyMay 10, 2010 at 11:18 AM
Simon, it's set in 2004 because the surgeon is supposed to be someone who played Operation as a child numbnuts.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 11:28 AM
If the game has been in production since 1965, how is that in any way relevant?ReplyDelete
- scottmctonyMay 10, 2010 at 11:31 AM
Surgeons are old d00d.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 11:38 AM
Didn't he already do a comic that was pretty much the same joke? What am I talking about, yes. Yes he did.ReplyDelete
- ScottMcTonyAgainMay 10, 2010 at 11:45 AM
But that time he did it so much better!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 12:53 PM
That joke is very different. It would only be the same if the surgeon made a daily habit of trying to yank out adam's apples and butterflies in the stomach.ReplyDelete
Read the alt-text again Anon 12:53. It's pretty much saying that.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 10, 2010 at 11:34 PM
What do you mean again? I rarely read them at all. Time is precious, I don't want to waste any of it hovering a cursor over the comic to read an even worse joke before rushing over here to talk about how crappy the most recent XKCD was.ReplyDelete
and yet you have the time to participate in a conversation spanning the length of multiple days in a comment thread while posting anonymously, implying you haven't provided an email address for comment updates to be sent. so you have the time to actively check the comments of a post which is not the most recent just to see if someone responded to your point.ReplyDelete
but yeah, time is precious.
- AnonymousMay 11, 2010 at 1:10 AM
Subtelty not really your forte, I take it?ReplyDelete
spelling not really your forte, I take it?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 11, 2010 at 1:43 AM
I wouldn't call it my forte but I get by well enough.ReplyDelete
one of the greatest tragedies of Western culture is that we've reached a point where being "good enough" is what people call literacy these days.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 11, 2010 at 4:42 AM
If the ultimate result is that a simple typo can be enough to feed a misguided sense of comparative accomplishment, you may well be right.ReplyDelete
An even greater tragedy of western culture is that some people are so blind to the true injustices that they can honestly suggest that less-than-perfect spelling is one of the greatest evils in our culture. Never mind the racism, sexism, and classism that essentially define western culture; never mind our casual acceptance of rape; never mind gross ignorance of basic scientific principles; no, these are not the 'greatest' tragedies. It's spelling. You heard it from Rob.ReplyDelete
As for this being a phenomenon unique to 'these days,' I'm not sure what kind of idyllic past you imagine once existed, but I can assure you it did not. General rates of literacy--and the standard of proficiency required to be considered literate--have only improved over time. Yes, looking back at the great writers of history we see a mastery of the language absent from the average modern writer, but what we neglect to notice is that it was absent from the average historical writer too. We just don't bother reading mediocre literature from bygone eras, and this sampling bias creates the false impression that writers of the past were more proficient than writers today.
Besides, 'good enough' will always be enough for someone to be considered literate; that's why we say it's 'good enough.' That much is a simple matter of definition.
aw, is Chrissy butthurt that someone complained that people these days revel in their idiocy instead of complaining about racism &c? poor ickle baby. and sadly he demonstrates the same problem about which I am complaining--namely, that he interprets phrases such as "one of the greatest tragedies," a phrase which obviously implies a plurality of tragedies, as saying something more akin to "the worst thing." he is also apparently incapable of grasping basic rhetorical flourishes such as hyperbole. another aspect of that selfsame tragedy--we breed people who think that they are wise and progressive, who believe that their stated concern for things about which they can do nothing makes them superior human beings, and yet they are unable to understand anything which does not express its absolute literal meaning.ReplyDelete
it does make for a beautiful strawman argument, though! "because Rob expressed his disdain for people who are unapologetically bad at language, he doesn't care about any of these things that I'm listing, which makes him an inferior human." nicely done! I also like that you replaced "tragedies" with "evils," which so subtly makes it look, to the sort of idiot that actually buys into your argument, that I was suggesting that the only evil in the world is being unapologetically careless with language. you forgot an evil that I didn't mention though! widespread intellectual dishonesty in order to advance a point. GUESS WHO I'M THINKING OF RIGHT NOW.
really though, I'm not sure where you get the idea that the various -isms you mention are in any way unique to Western culture. they have been around since pretty much the dawn of time. but as far as I've been able to tell, the anti-intellectual phenomenon that makes people think that their "good enough"--that if other people understand what they are saying, they have no obligation to demonstrate a care for the arts of language, to do such a simple thing as to bother with correct spelling, or to even acknowledge that the error is an error, rather than pretending that it is the product of some profound attitude of uncaring.
"good enough" has never been good enough when "excellent" has existed. if you're trying to suggest that as a matter of definition something is acceptable you're even worse at the whole language thing than I thought--and believe me, not understanding basic rhetorical flourishes is very nearly as dumb as someone gets, so that is saying something.
to my darling cuddlefish: I no more feel more accomplished than you than I feel more accomplished than an insect. you live in your own little world where time is too precious to read the alt text of an XKCD in response to a point that you made, but not sufficiently precious to prevent you from repeatedly commenting on the XKCD in question. how could I think I'm more accomplished than you when you are obviously happy in your little world?
- AnonymousMay 11, 2010 at 11:21 PM
Rob, I really don't know how you can belittle the quality of other people's literacy when you are apparently incapable of detecting obvious self-deprecation. I was called on having failed to read the alt-text, and admitted defeat by poking gentle fun at myself on that account. I am amazed that you continue to entertain the illusion that there was ever a need to explicate what I had carefully made evident within my own text, and that you failed to realise that my remark about subtlety was in fact pointing out your failure to realise my intention.ReplyDelete
You really thought the inherent contradiction was a mistake and that detecting it was a stroke of ingenuity on your part? Do you actually think it is possible for someone to feel that rushing over here to complain about XKCD is time well spent, or that the microsecond it takes to read an alt-text is really a great expenditure of time? This is funny. You're funny.
occam's razor, see. the vast majority of people who comment here anonymously are complete imbeciles. they very frequently claim that they don't have time to do things, usually, to establish themselves as far too important or busy to involve themselves with the conversations here. (I should probably here note that there is never an attempt to establish what they are so busy doing--we are left to assume that it is spending time with THEIR GIRLFRIEND, with whom they totally have sex all the time, it's a shame you couldn't meet her when she was in town, but they were too busy having sex to be social, because she is THEIR GIRLFRIEND and they constantly have sex. it is also possible they are super important scientists and programmers and college professors, who are too busy doing very intelligent and important and high-paying work. the one exception to this, of course, was Ryan Learn, hero among men who claimed to be an editor at an undefined scientific journal. it was later revealed that he was a glorified proofreader who mostly handled formatting in Latex or whatever, and later still that he was actually just a college freshman at FSU who possibly interned at his college paper. Ryan Learn will truly be missed.) endless hordes of mindless cuddlefish are constantly saying, without a trace of irony, saying that we are wasting our time here, that we have no lives, and that they, unlike us, have no time to waste on such things.ReplyDelete
it is always better to assume that an anonymous fucktard is, in fact, an anonymous fucktard, and not someone whose carefully wrought irony is wrapped in an incredibly poorly crafted sentence. genuinely it's disingenuous, of course--like Chrissy's little tirade about how I am racist and classist and sexist and a rape apologist and hate science. so "I don't have time to go back and read the alt texts" is generally code for "I'm wrong and don't want to admit it so I'm just going to act arch so you will hopefully feel inferior for having wasted your time."
humans are not rational creatures. they never have been and they never will be. (if you are for some reason still laboring under that delusion I suggest you start watching American politics for a day or two.)
which is to say: if you are posting anonymously, you do not get the benefit of the doubt. I will assume that you are dumb as fuck, because chances are, dumb as fuck is what you are.
rob it would be easier to swallow what you're saying about illiteracy if you didn't seem to have an on-again-off-again relationship with your shift keyReplyDelete
(shit, do I use a :) or a ;) after that?)
which is more ironic
oh no, someone has discovered that i dislike capitalizing things because the aesthetic bothers me, and intentionally avoid capitalizing walls of text to make them harder to read what do i doReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 12, 2010 at 12:14 PM
You tale of becoming jaded after a long history of feeding trolls is truly heartbreaking, but I really don't think it justifies being an arrogant jerk. Fortunately your attitude isn't my problem any more than my opinion of it is likely to concern you, so it can just be left at that.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 12, 2010 at 12:15 PM
*Your. Yes, I am not much of a typist at all.ReplyDelete
it's not a tale of becoming jaded. once again you demonstrate a terrible command of language. it's a tale of being unwilling to treat those who act in every way like one of the endless hordes of mindless fucks that post on the blog as if there is a chance in hell they are not, in fact, mindless fucks. at no point have I assumed good faith on the part of the anonymous commenters here. thus far my strategy has not failed me.ReplyDelete
treating you like a mindless fuck has its advantages, see. those of you who prove to actually be mindless fucks take offense and argue and whine about how much of a jerk I'm being, or say that the fact that I insulted them proves that they're right, or other stupid shit like that, ultimately proving my assumption right. those that are actually worthwhile to talk to are usually smart enough to figure out that, if they want to be treated like an intelligent human, they'd better start acting like one. once they do they find the discourse to be agreeable.
sadly you seem to have failed the test. but keep trying your incredibly subtle attempts at irony if you like! it's rare enough to see cuddlefish who even know what irony is, so it's extra funny when they know what it is and are incredibly bad at it.
- AnonymousMay 12, 2010 at 1:36 PM
Start out jaded and have that attitude reinforced or become jaded over time, it amounts to the same thing.ReplyDelete
We appear to have quite the symbiotic relationship here. My unconcern for your assertion of superiority over me gives me a certain sense of personal power, while my responses are apparently perpetuating your own notion of being above the common chaff. It's delightful. Unfortunately, it must end here. I do have a disturbing amount of free time, but even I have my limits. I have other pointless discussions to partake of, after all.
Enjoy having the last word. I promise I will come back to read it, and you can imagine my reaction in whatever way you see fit.
in the event anyone were still looking for a solid example of humans doing self-contradictory things without the faintest hint of irony, I invite them to look at our dear cuddlefish's allegedly final missive.ReplyDelete
here he makes the common assertion that "I don't care what you have to say." this is certainly not a universally false premise--it is largely true, for instance, that the standard internet insults in the key of lacking a girlfriend or a life or etc. are pretty much universally ignored, as they are entirely baseless. but imagine, if you will, someone who repeatedly returns to convince the same person that he does, in fact, have a girlfriend/life/etc., asserting that he does not care that this person keeps saying he has no girlfriend/life/etc.
clearly he does care, or he would not bother responding. (I am reminded of a recent discussion in which some of the many idiot fucks who comment on this blog mistook the word 'caring' as in 'being something other than indifferent towards, as in "I care if it rains today," for 'caring' as in 'being deeply affected by, as in "I care about my sister."') it may be nothing more than caring because his poorly crafted attempts at irony are failing to accomplish his intention, or that he is annoyed that someone keeps making assertions that are not true, but a claim of unconcern is disingenuous at best.
- AnonymousMay 15, 2010 at 6:44 AM
Rob has demonstrated once again that he's nothing more than a fat communist who will never get laid.ReplyDelete


text:
The Bureau of Reclamation released the Final Environmental Impact Statement on the proposed Arkansas Valley Conduit and Long-Term Excess Capacity Master Contract.
LOVELAND, Colo. – The Bureau of Reclamation released the Final Environmental Impact Statement on the proposed Arkansas Valley Conduit and Long-Term Excess Capacity Master Contract. To access the document, its Executive Summary, and supporting appendices visit www.usbr.gov/avceis.
In the Final EIS, Comanche North is identified as the agency-preferred alternative. It minimizes cost and urban construction disturbance, avoids the U.S. Highway 50 expansion corridor, and maximizes source water quality and yield. It is a hybrid alternative developed in response to comments on the Draft EIS by using components of other alternatives analyzed in that document. Of the AVC alternatives, Comanche North would be least costly and provide the most benefits.
"After extensive public involvement and consideration of comments, scientific data and regional water needs, Reclamation is pleased to release this Final Environmental Impact Statement and announce Comanche North as the agency-preferred alternative," said Mike Ryan, Regional Director for Reclamation's Great Plains Region, which includes eastern Colorado.
Reclamation completed the Final EIS in compliance with the National Environmental Policy Act. In it, the agency proposed and analyzed three federal actions pertaining to AVC and the Master Contract:
• Construct and operate the AVC and enter into a repayment contract with Southeastern Colorado Water Conservancy District;
• Enter into a conveyance contract with various water providers for use of a pipeline interconnection between Pueblo Dam's south and north outlet works; and,
• Enter into an excess capacity master contract with Southeastern Colorado Water Conservancy District to store water in Pueblo Reservoir.
When completed, the pipeline for the AVC could be up to 227 miles long.
For more information contact Kara Lamb at (970) 962-4326 or email@example.com.
The Fryingpan-Arkansas Project celebrated its 50th anniversary in 2012. It is a part of Reclamation, the largest wholesale water supplier in the United States, and the nation's second largest producer of hydroelectric power. Reclamation facilities also provide substantial flood control, recreation, and fish and wildlife benefits. Visit us at http://www.usbr.gov.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
The Puyehue Volcano Zone Erupts!
We camped on top of this volcano in Chile a little over nine months ago. Now the zone it's in, not the actual volcano, is erupting. We slept right there, just snoozing on the lip of the volcano, only 2.5 miles away from the now spewing Puyehue-Cordon Caulle complex. DCP, Lucas Debari and Xavier De Le Rue, Shin Campos, Joe Carlino, Scott Serfas and myself went on a grueling splitboard mission to ride the epic lines that run right into the heart of this crater. It was a damn fine trip, but it looks like we were about eight months to early for the real party.
Officials have already evacuated 3,500 people, and the plumes have shut down nearby airports. Apparently ash is raining down in the popular resort town of San Carlos De Bariloche. It's hard to imagine the lush, green Patagonian mountains being blanketed in volcanic dust right now. The thick green vines and barren snowfields. The quaint ranch sounds of the cascading river, chirping birds and occasional heee-haw of the burros at El Caulle ranch. Even the cold quiet of our rickety refugio way up top-everything muted by a silent gray ash.
In lieu of the eruption I though I'd share the video and story from our trip with a personal photo gallery. Enjoy.
A Chilean Volcano Venture
By Ben Gavelda
(Featured in the February, 2011 Issue of TransWorld Snowboarding)
Shook Ones
The largest earthquake ever recorded ravaged Chile in 1960. El Gran Terremoto de Chile nearly topped out the Richter scale with a 9.5 magnitude, sending massive tsunamis and destruction as far away as Hawaii, New Zealand, Alaska, and the Philippines. Immediately following the quake, the Puyehue-Cordón Caulle-a massive seam in the earth's crust dotted with four huge volcanoes-began shaking and spewing ash over two miles high, for three months.
Fast-forward 50 years and this Puyehue stratovolcano is our destination. Its massive, mile wide crater sits on the western side of the Andes and gets hammered by snow. Inside, it's steep and packed with lines. According to a USGS seismic map showing our proposed camp, we were headed right into the "severe to violent" shake zone of the 1960 quake. We'd be sleeping, riding, eating, and crawling around this vulnerable crag. The "what if" scenarios brewed in our heads as we prepared to depart.
Once down south, the juice dribbling down from homemade empanadas, our lush surroundings and the clouds that haloed the volcano's summit kept our minds distracted from seismological worry. Our base at The El Caulle ranch sat a few kilometers from the border of Argentina and Chile, nestled in the valley below the Puyehue volcano. The small ranch was occupied by a group of gauchos (cowboys) who worked the land and provided outfitting services while a small family ran the guesthouse and served up the last good meal before you hit San Carlos de Bariloche in Argentina. After a few days of soggy weather confined us to the musty guesthouse, we decided it was time to ascend.
The weathered leather faces of the gauchos cracked smiles as they loaded our crates of food, duffels, and snowboards onto the horses. It was a tedious process with our awkward gear, but by midday we were trotting toward the volcano-fifteen horses in total. DCP, Lucas Debari, Xavier de Le Rue, Shin Campos, photographer Scott Serfas, videographer Joe Carlino, our guides Jorge, Nico, Paula, and I were all laden with heavy packs, and given no horse-whispering instructions-just a bunch of snow gringos set loose in the Andes.
Xavier galloped and dodged around like a rodeo pro while the rest of us tried bonding with our beasts. The gauchos soon fell behind with the weight of our gear as the valley transformed from open pasture to dense, green jungle with thorny vines and colihue trees that resembled bamboo. DCP's horse trampled and weaved off trail, whacking him with branches the whole way up while he carried on laughing, "Buen caballo, buen caballo."
The trail continued to jut up and turned into a braid of steep, narrow, muddy ravines. The horses struggled. Serfas' stallion stumbled and sank to its belly in mud then powered back out. With nowhere to go, nowhere to stop, and no horse "sense," we kept riding up into the high alpine. Our legs became soaked with horse sweat from hugging them tightly up the steep grind. Then, one by one, our horses started stalling-their hearts pounding and lungs gasping with exhaustion. We had pushed them too hard with too much weight-and then we hit snow. We got off the horses, paused, and started to walk them in the deep slush. DCP and Nico started unloading gear from one of the caballos and it reared back, nearly crushing DCP.
By then the gauchos had caught up. They were irritated that we'd taken their animals so far. The snowy trail to our refugio (cabin)-the second base hut at treeline-was barred from horse travel. So, with bodies beat from saddles we hauled our gear, one heavy backpack load at a time up the steep, zigzagging trail to the refugio. It took numerous trips that night, and the next morning, to haul all our gear. It was foggy, wet, and cold in our mid-mountain refuge, but we were closer.
The El Caulle refugio was framed with thin trees from the nearby forests. Rough chainsaw scars showed in almost every piece of timber. The upright, uncut supports still had bark and bits of dried moss on them. A flaky white, metal roof topped it off and burlap sacks stuffed the rafters. Seven and a half bunks lined the inside, all cut from the same spindly trees and nailed with flat planks of scrap wood. The stove was barely larger than a shoebox and demanded constant tending if we wanted any heat at all. But then the gaping holes in the floor and the drafty seams in the door sucked out what little heat was generated. We squatted here in the fluctuating weather. Rain, snow, fog-it all came. A ripping gale tore across the tundra and strained through our hut on the second night. Our refugio rattled violently in the wind while each gust worked its way into our sleeping bags. The sounds of creaking metal and roaring wind laced into our dreams. Our refuge was dim and tattered, but it provided the shelter we needed. We gathered wood, read, and ate to pass time. We waited out the cold storms and constantly ate. It was an animalistic affair: someone constantly grubbed or spilled scraps here and there. Lucas became our Italian chef and the rest of us kept to scarfing and melting snow for drinking water.
The weather finally lightened up, but a halo still hovered over the summit. It was just clear enough to bring supplies toward the crater, so we skinned up with tents and food and stashed them a third of the way from the top, then retreated, fully engulfed in the lowering clouds. That night we celebrated DCP's 30th birthday. Here he was on his first splitboard trip, weathering out a storm with bottles of pisco, vino, and rounds of cachos (a Yahtzee-style cup and dice game) with a bunch of strangers on a volcano. We were packed in and swamped with wet gear that our little stove just couldn't dry. But his rambunctious personality burned inside the hut and infected everyone while frigid temperatures and snow hammered outside.
The day broke with clear skies and we anxiously pushed for the summit. We charged as fast as we could up the gully with our heavy packs as the clouds soared past. Then it hit-white, everywhere. The crew was socked in on a steep, sketchy face. The clouds had moved in so quickly we had no idea what was above, below, or around us. It was all white. So we waited. And waited. After almost an hour the fog cleared slightly and we continued our trek. Every step was cautious and dizzying-surrounded by the whiteness; vertigo was messing with us. It was late in the afternoon and our daylight was fading. We reached a relatively flat area and pitched our tents in the cold fog. Just as camp sprouted up the sun started to break through. The fog gradually dissolved and a juicy sunset emerged. Massive lakes opened up in the valley below, and finally, we glimpsed into the crater.
Breakfast Of Champions
"You guys should get out here," Serfas murmured from outside our tents in the predawn cold. "Quit f-ing with us, Serfas!" spit from Lucas And DCP's tent. Up until this point, Serfas' ceaseless whining pegged him as the trip's scapegoat. In this bitter cold, who'd want to leave their sleeping bag? "It's clear, seriously. Get out here," Serfas yelled again. "C'mon, really?" Joe groaned. Then the sounds of swishing nylon slowly started. Joe and I crawled out of the tent to clear, emerging daylight-the first we'd seen since we arrived. Our camping spot had been choice. Fifty feet from camp was the rim with endless lines plummeting to the crater floor. Waking up to the sun's warm rays and newly fallen snow atop a peak of countless lines was like shedding a frigid cocoon and emerging anew. This exact moment is what we had dreamed of. Everything it took to get here suddenly didn't matter anymore.
The whizzing of camp stoves and zrrrrp of zippers created rhythm and rejoice as we warmed up to the new day. Lucas defrosted his frozen-stiff boots by blasting them with his Jetboil. DCP fiddled with his splitboard. And before half the crew was even dressed, we heard Serfas yelling from the rim, "Xavier's ready to drop, get up here!" Everyone stopped fidgeting with their iced-up gear and trudged over.
Xavier already scoped a line and was poised to drop. Then … Shhcrrakkkk … shcraaakk! He hacked a few turns into the icy face then plunged toward the crater's bottom. He'd been awake for no more than 30 minutes-no tea, no breakfast-and tore into a hair-raising line while the rest of us still had crust in our eyes. Watching him disappear into the volcano snapped us right awake.
Morale teetered after the first run proved the snow was crap, though. Maybe it just hadn't softened up yet, we thought-we hoped. Where was this new snow we'd seen? With 360 degrees of lines before us, one aspect had to hold powder. Lucas hiked further up the ridge. Then, "Dropping!" and more icy, gashing sounds echoed back. Meanwhile, DCP had trudged off in the opposite direction, up over a ridge to the north face. He disappeared for a while then came into view around a few massive cornices. He radioed, then dropped. His first turn threw up a tall spray of white. Hoots went up from camp as he continued to slice his way down the wall of spines and gullies throwing up pow. It was on.
Lucas, Xavier, David, and Shin started to hammer this face, working further east around the edge. They linked lines and dropped cliffs, then climbed back up the steep crater walls with ice axes. With his faint French accent and gasp of excitement Xavier raved, "It's so good over there! It's packed in and dense, but still powder-like AK snow!" He then laid into a turn on his third run and the entire bowl fractured. It was big, but it was shallow. He cut out over a rib, paused for a second to give a quick glance back, then continued down, dropping a cliff as the avalanche discharged to his left into the crater. Xavier was hardly fazed.
Fiestas Patrias
After lunch the runs continued, but distant clouds threatened the clear sky. The satellite phone brought a rudimentary weather forecast, and it wasn't looking good. The possibility of getting socked in on the crater's lip looked inevitable. After debate, we decided that we'd retreat back to our refugio or risk getting stranded on the volcano.
While half the group packed up camp, a few of us chased last runs in the crater. DCP, Xavier, Shin, Nico, Paula, and I ventured to the opposite edge of the volcano. We moved along the crater floor and the pungent smell of sulfur stung our noses as the massive flat of snow enveloped us. DCP and I crawled up the ridge and the sulfur smell intensified. Atop, we gazed north and saw rolling snow mounds and patches of steaming earth with vapors trailing into the sky. "Holy shit, it looks like the whole Whistler backcountry out there!" DCP barked with laughter. The rolling, treeless snowfields went as far as we could see. The Cordon-Caulle volcano occupied the west, the massive Mencheca rose in the east. The ridge led us to a giant wall of open faces ready for the taking. We spread apart and each slashed one last run into the crater. After we inched out, we slung our 60-pound packs over our backs and the entire group headed to the refugio in the fading light. This time we weren't retreating-we had conquered.
The next morning we woke to Fiestas Patrias (Independence Day) and barreling rain. Jorge told us that no Chilean in their right mind missed this celebration, especially not the 200th anniversary and the entire country would be hammered drunk. That meant no gauchos or caballos would come to get us. We packed our bags to the fullest-the weight tearing them at the seams and crushing our shoulders. Then rode and tumbled down what snow was left, and tromped through mud, sweat, horseshit, and rain for hours until we finally reached the verdant valley floor. One by one we dropped the packs from our bruised shoulders, tore off scuffed gear, stretched our worn bodies, and simply gazed back up to the summit as if it were a world away.
¡Vamos A Chile!
Andes Cross Personal Guiding
Want to ride a volcano? How about Andean backcountry? For snowboarding, hiking, climbing, or just a soak in some remote termas calientes (hot springs), Jorge, Nico, and the crew at Andes Cross Guiding will make it happen-with a cheers the entire way.
El Caulle
A base camp for backcountry adventure. Farm-fresh food, addictive empanadas, remote hot springs, fly-fishing, and backcountry riding all start from here. One-hour drive from Cañal Bajo Airport (Osorno), Chile.
Termas Aguas Calientes de Puyehue
Soak your weary bones before or after your trip. Rejuvenating hot springs on the river, a half hour from El Caulle.


text:
Source: Disco Dancing on Mars?
Source: Disco Dancing on Mars?
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Unity Lesson 1 Draft
Discussion in 'Community Learning & Teaching' started by AnomalusUndrdog, Sep 6, 2011.
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text:
LAKEWOOD About 5,000 youngsters in Colorado could be staying in class longer because of a new national grant for extended school days.
Four districts Denver, Boulder, and Adams and Jefferson counties will add at least 300 hours of learning time to the calendar in some schools starting in 2013.
Announcing the experiment in Washington, D.C., Gov. John Hickenlooper said Monday expanding school hours can lead to dramatic changes to how school days are structured.
Change allows you an opportunity to have a catalyst to dramatically change everything in a much shorter period of time, he said.
Colorado was among five states participating in a three-year pilot program to increase class time in some school districts starting in 2013.
Teachers and principals nervously embraced the idea, and a few students werent entirely opposed, either.
At Stober Elementary in Wheat Ridge, just west of Denver, fourth-grade teacher Jeanette Martinez said the extra time would be welcome but she wondered where teachers would get time for planning and other work outside the instructional hours.
Its hard to get through all the curriculum in the time we have, said Martinez, who was leading a writing exercise about visiting the zoo.
After her pupils went to recess, Martinez wondered, The extra hour is cool, but where are we going to get everything else done?
Hickenlooper said it will be an opportunity for the state to also consider other changes, including what technology to use in teaching, and when teachers begin and end their workdays.
Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York and Tennessee are also participating. Federal, state and district funds will cover costs, with help from the Ford Foundation and the National Center on Time and Learning.
The goal here is not more time, the goal here is more learning, said Education Secretary Arne Duncan.
Hickenlooper said school districts share a common theme when speaking about what their needs are.
The one continuous kind of common theme that goes again and again is that we need more time with kids, he said. That extra time with their teachers and within a structured setting means all the world.
The governors point was echoed by Stober principal Andrew Zapotoczny, who once worked at a school with extended hours in the library for students and their families.
The school was in an area where many didnt have home Internet access, and Zapotoczny said he didnt mind staying late without extra pay.
I really do believe we are community centers, not just schools. Whatever we have to do to make learning a priority, we believe in it, he said.
Surprisingly, some of his students agreed. Several interviewed didnt mind extra time in the classroom.
Well have more time to hang out with our friends ... and well get even smarter, predicted 9-year-old Melody Goldanloo, a fourth-grader.
Kids drew the line at summer school, though.
Thats a no way for me, explained fellow fourth-grader Olivia Nevadomski. Its for sleepovers, staying up late and sleeping in. No summer school. Please, no summer school.


text:
An enrichment course for interested and capable students. Au Qtr.
What our students are saying:
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I've learned so much from got it! experts. What I mostly like about this app is when you ask a question they will answer you within 10 minutes. It's so fast and helpful. I don't know what I'd do without it!


text:
Difference between revisions of "Thekkady"
Revision as of 04:06, 25 April 2012
Thekkady (Idukki district, Kerala, India) is the location of the Periyar National Park. Kumily (Idukki district) is the nearest town center to Thekkady.
Get in
Thekkady is enchanting as the road winds through tranquill countryside, rich plantations & thick jungles. The sanctuary, 60 km from Idukki, 190 km from Cochin and 114 km away from Kottayam is open throughout the year, but the best season for a visit is from September to March. The sanctuary is centered around the large (24 sq km) artificial lake formed by a dam across the Periyar river. It is one of the famous holiday destinations in India.
Kumily is 4 km away from Thekkady. Madurai to Kumily is around 120 km (approx 4 hours in state transport bus which are available at Madurai ). One can stay at Kumily as it offers good hotels, shopping market & restaurants.
Get around
Tiger reserve
Thekkady, better known as Tiger Reserve has a rich diversity of vertebrates. The diverse forest types, vayals, marshes, and a large aquatic habitat together support 62 species of mammals, 320 species of birds, 45 species of reptiles, 27 species of amphibians, and 38 species of fish.
The invertebrate fauna of Periyar is not well documented, though the predominant invertebrate orders are Protozoa, Annelida, Arthropoda and Mollusca. 160 butterfly species have been listed.
Among the 62 species of mammals, many are rare, endemic and endangered. Periyar is prime elephant country and large herds are often sighted at the lake fringes. There is an estimated population of 900-1000 animals which is likely to overlap with the population in the adjoining forest areas.
A much disproportionate sex ratio of the elephant is found in Periyar and adult tuskers are far too few. Gaur, among the largest of bovines, occurs in all types of habitats. Gaur have staged a remarkable comeback after their near demise due to a rinderpest outbreak in the 70s.
Sambar, the largest deer in India, are extensively distributed and constitute the principal prey base of tiger and wild dog. Wild pig has wide distribution throughout the park. Sometimes, these animals invade agricultural lands often leading to man-wildlife conflicts. Small relict populations of the highly endangered Nilgiri Tahr are found in the high altitude grasslands of Mangaladevi. Four of the five primate species found in the Western Ghats are well represented in Periyar. While the Nilgiri Langur enjoys a wide distribution in the moist forests, the highly endangered Lion Tailed Macaque are confined to the dense evergreen canopies. Malabar Giant Squirrel is common in the area. Though the presence of the endangered species, Small Travancore Flying Squirrel, is recorded from Periyar, the Large Flying Squirrel is more frequently seen.
Salim Ali's fruit bat reported from Periyar adjoining the High Wavys. It is an endemic and endangered species, considered to be among the rarest of bats.
The Tiger is found in all types of habitats though their density is much less in the evergreen forests. Though sighting one is difficult because of the thick vegetation, evidences like pugmarks, clawings, and scats are located throughout the reserve. The population is estimated to be between 35–40.
The Striped-necked Mongoose is not uncommon, found in the semi-evergreen and evergreen forests.
Nilgiri Marten is an extremely rare and endemic mustellid, though recently sighted a number of times.
There are several categories of hotels in and around Thekkady. Apart from hotels, there are good cottages and home-stay rooms available. These are basically owned by residents who have decided to make some money by renovating a part of their house and renting it out to travellers. These rooms can be quite luxurious and will give you a homely feel. Kumily is 4 km from Thekkady, where lot of hotel, restaurants & shopping markets are present. Good place to stay during visiting Thekkady.
Get out


text:
Sumpins Wrong
Eagerly awaited by her digital fans everywhere, this stamp is part of Mo Manning's very first collection of physical stamps --- photopolymer clear stamps from Stampavie!
Mo (Maurie J. Manning) is a freelance author and illustrator of children's books. She lives in
This new collection is whimsical and fun! My personal favorite is the card pictured at the top..."Sumpins Wrong" This adorable little boy is having a little trouble with his outfit!
Two very more cute inspirations below:
Psst Dani & Taylor
End of Summer
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text:
- INTERPOL Oslo
Member since :
13 June 1956
Law enforcement services in Norway are provided by the country's single national police force called "Politi". With a strength of more than 11,000 men and women for a population of less than 5 million, the force excercises its activities in its 27 'police districts'.
Part of the Ministry of Justice and Police, the force is subordinate to the National Police Directorate, which manages, supervises and develops the Force, its regional police districts and the special police units.
Ministry structure:
- Department of Migration;
- Correctional Services;
- Legislation;
- Polar Affairs;
- Planning and Administration;
- Police;
- Rescue and Emergency;
- Civil Affairs;
- Press and Information.
National Criminal Investigation Service Norway
Core activities
- Criminal investigation;
- Forensic services;
- Criminal intelligence;
- International police cooperation.
The National Criminal Investigation Service (NCIS) – called 'KRIPOS" in Norwegian – is the national centre specialized in fighting organized and serious crime. Its main mission is to support local police districts and to serve as the national platform for contact with police authorities around the world.
NCIS provides criminal investigation and forensic services, and acts as a national advisory body to all Norwegian law enforcement bodies. Apart from its role as a support agency, NCIS is also tasked with investigating and prosecuting complex and serious organized crime cases. In such cases, it reports to the National Authority for Prosecution of Organized and Other Serious Crime.
NCIS develops new policing techniques and is very active in sharing knowledge with local police districts through courses, lectures, partner agency visiting schemes and the electronic knowledge sharing platform called "KO:DE". NCIS also heads the national Identification Commission which is called upon to deal with accidents and disasters.
About 50% of NCIS staff are trained law enforcement officials. The remaining 50% have non-police positions such as caseworkers and forensic, administrative and support staff.
INTERPOL Oslo
The INTERPOL National Central Bureau (NCB) for Norway is part of NCIS, and serves as the main platform for Norwegian and international investigations relating to Norwegian nationals, or crimes committed by non-Norwegian nationals in Norway.
Red Notices 10
KIM ANDRE Age today: 29 years old
SAAID MOHAMMED ABDERRAHMANOULD SIDI BOUBAK Age today: 41 years old
Nationality: Morocco
Yellow Notices 10
ABDIFATAH Age today: 32 years old
Nationality: Norway
STIAN Age today: 35 years old
Nationality: Norway
- 22nd INTERPOL General Assembly - 24-29 June 1953 - Oslo


text:
Friday, August 26, 2011
Comics, Uh, 941-943, Maybe: TRIPLE FEATURE!!!
941. On the whole this one was reasonably solid, though I felt it could have done without the whole pseudo-scientific explanation for his improved-perspective-goggles. He has yet to learn that when he's trying to rip off ASW he needs to be brief. But I'm sure I would have liked it before I devoted all of my waking hours to hating XKCD.
It's even started haunting my dreams.
942. Wouldn't it be wacky if when you threw juggling balls up in the air they just hung there instead of gravity working???
As much as I love absurdist fiction, Randy is terrible at it. The absurd isn't presented as any sort of commentary on life or reality, but instead as the point of the joke: "ha ha ha the balls don't fall down" (I know, I know). And then "well this book is dumb it doesn't tell me what to do when I can't reach my balls." Do something interesting with the absurd, Randy, and your comics about it might not be shitty.
943. Randy likes us to think that he is so scientifically-minded that when he is presented with a request, he interprets it as a scientific question. He does this because he is quirky and wacky and nerdy! I guess he's just going along with this marriage experiment because he is curious as to whether it will actually happen. It has nothing to do with the milky bounty that awaits him when he finally implants his hot porn star daughter in Megan's womb.
84 comments:
- SemicolonsAugust 26, 2011 at 4:11 PM
At least these are better than the cancer "comics;" is this an upward trend in quality maybe?ReplyDelete
- Yokel OnoAugust 26, 2011 at 4:12 PM
Hey Rob, I have a request that you will probably shoot down and then ridicule me for. If you're going to make posts like this, can you include the comic strips you're talking about? I don't want to go to the xkcd website and augment Randall's hits, and thus his ego. Thanks.ReplyDelete
Semicolons: possibly, though I doubt it's a long-term trend. I think he's reached a basic level of bad and there are occasional high and low points but otherwise it's neither improving nor getting worse.ReplyDelete
Yokel: the only reason I don't is because I'm kind of lazy and don't usually feel like writing the HTML for three whole image files. I will consider this, however.
941 would be, once again, a good picto-blog post. I don't see it making a good comic, though.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 26, 2011 at 5:03 PM
So have you finally gone full POPAMOLE, Rob?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 26, 2011 at 6:55 PM
Now what starts with the letter "C"?ReplyDelete
"Cancer" starts with "C"!
Let's think of other things that starts with "C"!
Uh. . .Uh. . . Who cares about da other things?!
"C" is for cancer that's good enough for me,
"C" is for cancer that's good enough for me,
"C" is for cancer that's good enough for me,
Oh! cancer, cancer, cancer starts with "C"!
Hey, You know what? A round breast with one bite out of it looks like a "C"
A round tumor with one bite out of it also looks like a "C" but it is not as good as milkbags.
Oh, and the cavity where Megan's breasts used to be sometimes looks like a "C" but you can't eat that.
Cancer Cancer Cancer starts with "C"
Cancer Cancer Cancer starts with "C"
Does 'niggers' start with a c?ReplyDelete
Genuinely wondering
- AnonymousAugust 26, 2011 at 9:56 PM
First post!ReplyDelete
I made a charitable donation today and so should you.
- AnonymousAugust 26, 2011 at 10:24 PM
Rob... ALMOST likes an XKCD? I imagine Carl having an orgasm on seeing it...ReplyDelete
nah, carl would hate that one.ReplyDelete
- uncapitalisedAugust 27, 2011 at 2:58 AM
I'm pretty sure the joke with the juggling balls isn't supposed to be that it's wacky they don't fall down, so much as that you have to assume they're moving in a static, unmoving comic strip.ReplyDelete
Ha ha, we played with your assumptions. This is the sort of joke Buttersafe does well. Unfortunately, we know what sort of joke Randal does well (nullset).
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 4:03 AM
Rob, have you began hating yourself for sealing away the precious emotions that define you as a human?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 5:46 AM
"have you began"ReplyDelete
lrn 2 gramr
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 7:13 AM
".....Do something interesting with the absurd, Randy,...."ReplyDelete
If one does 'something interesting' with the absurd can it still be defined as absurd? Will it still be ridiculously unreasonable, unsound, or incongruous? Will it still have no rational or orderly relationship to human life? Will it still retain that aura of meaninglessness?
I think not, Rob.
- Smokes JeffroAugust 27, 2011 at 12:40 PM
943 is the type of joke somebody in second grade would make. This popular webcomic is being made by a grown man with the same level of humor as a second grader.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 1:17 PM
Or the same sense of humour as one would find in an Upper Key Stage 1 student in the British overseas territory of Gibraltar.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 1:28 PM
I feel like the recent XKCDs have been Randall realizing that people like the old stuff better than the new stuff, and he's doing a bad job of trying to emulate his past self.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 1:38 PM
I feel like the recent xkcd sucks blog posts have been Rob realizing he doesn't give a fuck.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 1:55 PM
I feel like a firm bag of protoplasm and adipose tissue. Not altogether unlike the Callipygian Venus.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 2:01 PM
Oh, and ergastic substances too.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 2:10 PM
I think 942 is more about how the guy dismisses the balls floating in the air even though it's far more interesting than just juggling them just because it's not what he intended to learn from the book.ReplyDelete
- The Phantom Arse RaperAugust 27, 2011 at 2:13 PM
492 is about how lives (balls) often hand in the balance (life and death) and no amount of book (science and medicine) can help.ReplyDelete
493 is sum bullshit
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 3:08 PM
learn 2 numbers TPARReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 6:08 PM
So it looks like Megan is trying to get Randall to tie the knot before cancer takes her. And that Randall is acquiescing. Oh by the way, did you know you can run a Google Image search for "Dr. Cameron from House" and see some pictures of Randall?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 10:36 PM
The juggling joke would be funny with good execution. If the classic old timey comedians could make having glue on their hands and sticking to everything they touch be funny, the same can be done with sticky air catching airborne objects. I bet the Three Stooges or Buster Keaton could have shown Randall how to make his joke good.ReplyDelete
Anon608: That's just Google's smart search deciding that you have a total hard-on for Randall, 'cause I'm not turning up anything Munroic at all.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 27, 2011 at 11:56 PM
I hate Google's current search system. Sometimes-- pretty much all the time, in fact-- the specific words I type in are the specific words I want to have found. I don't want to have to put fucking quotation marks around my words to emphasize that fact. I also want the pages containing every single one of the words that I searched for to take priority. I don't want those pages to be ranked below pages that you guess are more relevant to my needs even though they contain no reference to the actually-very-key word "coprophagy." Fucking Google.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 12:04 AM
this model heteroscedastic EditReplyDelete
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- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 12:14 AM
google's gotten too big i need xkcd to tell me what the cool search engine is nowadaysReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 2:28 AM
You Could Do Better Than ThatReplyDelete
If you are looking for a chance to try your hand at improving new xkcd comics, head over to our sister site at XKCD: Could Be Better! and re-write the comics with your own, much funnier, dialog. It's pretty fun, so go do it. do it.
Oh and your new comics will look super-authentic if you use a certain font....
If only there were some sort of Hipster's Guide to The Internet online, but the moment it became popular enough to be memorable it would be defunct. =[ReplyDelete
Why a pornstar daughter? I don't get itReplyDelete
884 and its reviewReplyDelete
If you are looking for a chance to try your hand at improving new xkcd comics, head over to our sister site at XKCD: Could Be Better! and re-write the comics with your own, much funnier, dialog. It's pretty fun, so go do it. do it.ReplyDelete
Man, that forum hasn't had an update in six months. If you want to improve xkcd, you should do it as a submission for the "xkcd Sucks Less" feature of the other xkcd hate blog. Just post links in the comments or email them to me (my address is in my profile).
rob ban this spambotReplyDelete
i don't know, it's kind of amusing how desperate he isReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 12:10 PM
Rob desperacy is never amusing. Think about if the shoe were on the other foot (or, in your case, hanging off one of your many other blubber tendrils).ReplyDelete
well, the part about it that amuses me is that it's something I would never do (constantly and desperately advertising the blog that I maintain in the comments thread of the blog I am ripping off). some people have no standards apparentlyReplyDelete
I would almost suggest he's trolling because as soon as you see his name, you know there's going to be a link to his shit blog in it. But he never showed any trolling tendencies before, so I can only assume he really is just that pathetic.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 1:52 PM
New hate blog required urgently: xkcd-sucks sucks more than xkcdsucks sucks. I know just the place to advertise it.ReplyDelete
The blog is defined and given virtue by its community, and there just ain't no community over there 0.oReplyDelete
Also if we all move over there, how will Carl afford his Malaysian bride? =[
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 2:36 PM
Carl's fucking ALTF?ReplyDelete
1:52 = winReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 9:41 PM
"Things That Rob Wouldn't Do" is mostly a list of things that should be done by anybody with any sense of value.ReplyDelete
this blog is my only social transgression. everywhere else I am heavenly.ReplyDelete
Rob is a god among men, and we scum can only hope to ascend to such virtuosity. That's why we're all here.ReplyDelete
- TheMesosadeAugust 28, 2011 at 11:11 PM
No, we're all here because Rob chose not to eat us yet.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 28, 2011 at 11:34 PM
I heard there were some hurricanes this year.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 1:10 AM
What's the deal with that guy rigging a bomb to that Australian girl anyway?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 4:35 AM
Comics, Uh, 941-943, Maybe: TRIPLE FEATURE!!!ReplyDelete
I'd have gotten these reviews up earlier but I got a new computer so I've been playing video games and having fun rather than paying attention to you fat slobs, but the time for that is over! Except it's not. Anyway:
941. On the whole this one was reasonably solid, though I felt it could have done without the whole pseudo-scientific explanation for his improved-perspective-goggles. He has yet to learn that when he's trying to rip off ASW he needs to be brief. But I'm sure I would have liked it before I devoted all of my waking hours to hating XKCD.
It's even started haunting my dreams.
942. Wouldn't it be wacky if when you threw juggling balls up in the air they just hung there instead of gravity working???
As much as I love absurdist fiction, Randy is terrible at it. The absurd isn't presented as any sort of commentary on life or reality, but instead as the point of the joke: "ha ha ha the balls don't fall down" (I know, I know). And then "well this book is dumb it doesn't tell me what to do when I can't reach my balls." Do something interesting with the absurd, Randy, and your comics about it might not be shitty.
943. Randy likes us to think that he is so scientifically-minded that when he is presented with a request, he interprets it as a scientific question. He does this because he is quirky and wacky and nerdy! I guess he's just going along with this marriage experiment because he is curious as to whether it will actually happen. It has nothing to do with the milky bounty that awaits him when he finally implants his hot porn star daughter in Megan's womb.
Posted by Rob
- That's what sheAugust 29, 2011 at 6:42 AM
Who is Poore?ReplyDelete
a drunken godReplyDelete
i don't know, it's kind of amusing how desperate he isReplyDelete
It's not really desperate to let people know, "Hey, there's a blog out there whose author is willing to put more than a sentence of effort into is comic reviews."
It's no secret that this blog has been awful since Rob took over, and it's not desperation to try to make things better.
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 9:18 AM
That message is a lot less effective coming from a narcissistic neckbeard.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 9:19 AM
Plus you're only doing it because you're an attention whore. Don't feel bad, I was the same once, elsewhere. Just quit, it makes you feel a lot better.ReplyDelete
Ravenzomg: you misspelled "viscosity".ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 9:54 AM
Gamer, why don't you just post your reviews here? Everyone will read them initially, and everyone will carry on reading them if they're good.ReplyDelete
You get the bonuses of a vague existing community and the satisfaction of not being regarded as a spamming douche.
For the hat-trick, shave your beard.
- xkcd-sucks auto-re-posterAugust 29, 2011 at 9:56 AM
Comic 944: Hurricane LamesReplyDelete
Title: Hurricane Names; alt-text: After exhausting the OED, we started numbering them. When overlapping hurricanes formed at all points on the Earth's surface, and our scheme was foiled by Cantor diagonalization, we just decided to name them all "Steve". Your local forecast tomorrow is "Steve"
Hey guys, did you know that funny == random? Randall sure does! Just throw in some words like "eggbeater" (itself HILARIOUS, provably hilarious) and call it a day! Why waste time with a joke when you can just say, "Oh man, if there were too many hurricanes, the naming conventions would break down and suddenly become WILD AND WACKY"?
To be fair to Randall, Hurricane Irene is still around, so he's at least topical this time. (More like TROPICAL, right? Tropical storm? ...Guys?) Given his past record, I honestly would've expected a comic like this to show up sometime in December. Guess he's improving.
However, that doesn't excuse the flaw mentioned above, or the secondary flaw of just being too darn wordy. Happily, he's buried most of the superfluous text in the alt-text, because by the time you've finished reading through it, the joke has been murdered and dismembered. It's dead. It's like saying, "Why did the hamster cross the road? Because it was tied to the chicken! Ha! Haha! ...You see guys, this particular hamster had been the subject of an awful twine accident involving an underpaid farmhand, a jug of moonshine, and an excess of free time. It all began when..."
Great, we get it. It's not funny anymore. Just tell the joke and call it good, Randall. Quit while you're ahead (or at least not so far behind).
P.S. I've already received one "xkcd Sucks Less" submission for this strip, and, as expected, it does indeed suck less. Great! Keep them coming, people! If you've got an improvement to a particular comic, just email it to me or post it in a comment.
Originally posted by Gamer_2k4 at 12:07 PM
Plus you're only doing it because you're an attention whore. Don't feel bad, I was the same once, elsewhere.ReplyDelete
Yeah, that must be the reason that I didn't have any desire to make my own blog when Carl was posting, why I started this off as a joint effort, and why I'm actively trying to get other people involved in the site.
Running a hate blog is a bigger time sink than Rob would have you believe, and if other people took over, or at least offered guest posts, I would happily let them. I'm not doing this for myself; I'm doing it because the reviews here suck absolute balls.
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 11:13 AM
I can't tell if the hurricane comic is supposed to be Randal's own fears about this hurricane - in which case he, like most of New England, really blew Irene out of proportion - or if he's mocking those very same concerns that most of NE had, in which case hurray for irony?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 11:36 AM
Gamer, it's like you're trying to be like Carl, but failing very hard. You're taking your reviews too seriously, which is boring unless you're actually a really good writer. Rob's are interesting because he doesn't really give a shit.ReplyDelete
And also, Carl didn't go around spamming this blog. No matter how you try to justify it, everyone else will only see one thing: You contribute nothing in your comments here except to promote your blog. And that will always be annoying. That makes you like those Christian types who go into sinful places and tell everyone about the Bible because you and only you can save their ignorant souls.
You contribute nothing in your comments here except to promote your blog.ReplyDelete
I was going to argue that point, but after taking a quick look at the four or five blog posts here, that really is the case. Ouch.
Nothing to do but improve on that, I suppose.
- ROB-BERTAugust 29, 2011 at 12:43 PM
What everyone has long since concluded(and that even includes Carl!), O Gamer of the year two thousand and four, is that reviews of xkcd have become pointless and basically a fucking drag somewhere around #700 or so.ReplyDelete
The art sucks. The lines sound unnatural. Floating heads. Megan. Pandering. Grade school science. Post Punchline Dialog Syndrome. Add a dash of cancer and two cups of Randall's hot porn star daughter Crystal's sweet sweet breast milk, and you have basically every xkcd review ever written. There's no point to writing six paragraphs for every new comic and repeating the exact same thing all over agin 944 times, you aspergeroid dumbfuck.
Carl realized this, that's why he quit. Rob realizes this too, that's why he keeps posting shitty one-liner reviews-with the same flaws present in every xkcd strip, any further elaboration is superfluous, a waste of everyone's time. The reviews here only set the groung for the blog's sole reason for existing in the last year or so: the comment threads! Where the the glittering diamonds of hate keep glittering, where the titty milk keeps flowing, where, unlike Megan's bosom, there's no such thing as too much cancer. An active hateblog community, which has no reason so much as to glimpse toward your pathetic, aspergerian waste of time. What do you hope for, everyone going "OH HEY THAT DUDE'S RIGHT, XKCD'S ART REALLY IS PRETTY BAD AND, COME TO THINK OF IT, THE JOKES ARE SOMEWHAT STALE!"? Critique of xkcd has become superfluous three years ago dude, now there's only hate. Move the fuck on already.
tl;dr shut the fuck up about your aspergerian, unnecessary, retarded fucking waste-of-time blog that no one will ever read.
ps. MUCH LOVE FJOR MY BROS ROB AND CARL
pps. shave that fucking neckbeard already you ugly fuck
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 12:53 PM
goomh randall my name is steve, too!!ReplyDelete
The real review is always in the comments, and is usually not done by Rob. So, nobody can complain that this blog is going downhill, even if Rob posts the shittiest reviews ever.ReplyDelete
(I did not mean for that post to be relevant; it just happened)ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 1:57 PM
Most of the funny in this blog is written by me.ReplyDelete
Since Eternal September it became OK.
- fuck yewAugust 29, 2011 at 3:09 PM
Personally, I think it's cool gamer-24k spams here. I don't read your stuff too much dude, but I think it increases the level of hatred all around and that is good for everyone.ReplyDelete
I thought today's comic was PRETTY OKAY.ReplyDelete
Why y'all hatas gotta hate?
- elephant manAugust 29, 2011 at 3:29 PM
haters want to warReplyDelete
war with we
fuck with my crew
you go to cemetery
"Running a hate blog is a bigger time sink than Rob would have you believe"ReplyDelete
no it isn't
Well not at your level of effort, it isn't.ReplyDelete
and observe which of the two is more successfulReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 10:15 PM
Hey Gamer are you fat?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 10:26 PM
Are you corn, Gamer?ReplyDelete
'Cause you just got COBBED.
Are you a black person in the American South, Gamer?ReplyDelete
'Cause you just got LYNCH MOBBED.
- AnonymousAugust 29, 2011 at 10:32 PM
Come on Rob, we all know you're just riding Carl's coattails. Nobody would have ever followed this blog if you started it.ReplyDelete
but the thing is i am putting like no effort at all into this and the commenting has remained steady over time. whereas gamer is all like 'I AM SPENDING A LOT OF TIME ON THE VERY SERIOUS AND IMPORTANT BUSINESS OF WHINING ABOUT A WEBCOMIC' and sometimes the old lady down the street stops by to check and see if he's all right and invite him over for supperReplyDelete
oh rob... so... so beyond funny your racist comments. so beyond funny as in just sadReplyDelete
southerners are not a race, jagwioReplyDelete
- Wrinkledlion XAugust 31, 2011 at 12:02 PM
I like 941. Randall has cool ideas sometimes, I just wish those were all he posted instead of trying to be a comedian.ReplyDelete


text:
No. 3 nationally-ranked Indian Hills CC of Ottumwa, Ia. to play the Moberly Greyhounds tonight without the services of their head coach and five players. All are suspended due to a postgame brawl that took place on Saturday.
The Ottumwa Courier Post newspaper of Ottumwa, Ia. on Monday reported that when No. 3 nationally-ranked Indian Hills CC men's basketball team arrives tonight to play the Moberly Greyhounds, that Indian Hills (26-2) will be without the services of its head coach Barret Peery.
Also missing will be players Ronald Ross, Richard Amardi, Dustin Hogue, Ronnie Stevens and Rawane Ndiaye.
Each of these members of the Warriors team are suspended due to their involvement with a postgame brawl at Southeastern Iowa CC.
Tip-off is set for 7 p.m. here at Moberly Area Community College's Fitzsimmons-John Arena.


text:
First of all, thanks to the nice folks at Lake Claremont Press for sending me a copy of their book From Shock Theater to Svengoolie, all about TV horror movie hosts in Chicago. Cool book! TV horror movie hosts were a big part of my growing up years. Now sadly they all seem to be gone. I guess they served a useful purpose in the 60s and 70s which is now being served by others. The Ghoul in Cleveland used to have to hide behind a goofy fake goatee and sunglasses to say what needed saying. Now we have a lot more freedom in what we can say. Good. I like the world today better than the one I grew up in and I like younger people better than the members of my own generation. Even we ex-punk rock kids are way more uptight than people in their twenties these days -- speaking in sweeping generalities of course (as usual). I'm optimistic for the future. Cautiously.
Someone asked for an explanation of Gudo's recent answer to Jordan regarding karma. I went and looked at Gudo's blog and it seemed pretty clear to me. But maybe that's because I'm pretty steeped in how Gudo explains stuff.
Basically, the word karma is often misunderstood as being analogous to the concept of fate. There's the idea that you have your karma, the big load of past actions we all carry with us, and these determine our future. To an extent this is true. We cannot escape the effects of the causes we've set in motion. But this point of view is only relevant when we look at time in the usual linear fashion.
Real time in the Buddhist sense is only now. Right now we have complete freedom to act. Our karma sets up certain limitations to this action. Right now my karma has placed me in Torrance, California at a Whole Foods supermarket. Because of this karma I cannot, for example, take any action at my friend Nina's house in Los Feliz immediately. I have to drive there first and it takes time to get there on the perpetually congested So Cal freeways. All of that stuff is karma.
But I am perfectly free at this moment to take any action at all that my karmic circumstances will allow. These words I am writing, for example, are not predetermined. Yet if we were to stand back later on we could trace a line of cause and effect that might make even the words I'm writing at this moment seem to have been predetermined.
But look at your life right now and any notion of predetermination falls to dust.
Still, we need to be careful what we do. There are always effects. Yet we can't be timid. We need to act with a certain degree of boldness. Knowing there will be effects of our action that we cannot be aware of, still we act anyway.
For example, I'm in the midst of writing a new book. In it I am seeking to uproot, rather violently, a lot of the notions of what a Zen teacher ought to be. I'm concerned that the book will make a lot of people upset. It attacks some very fondly held illusions. Yet I believe the overall effect of attacking these illusions will be positive. I believe it's necessary.
Part of me wants to be timid and not push things. But my intuition tells me it's better to push hard because nobody else will do it and it needs to be done.
I think we all struggle with this kind of thing all the time. It's hard to know what's right to do. And so I practice zazen everyday. I believe the balance established in the practice will aid me in seeing what's best to do.
Happy MLK Jr. Day!


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Matthew SallinAlumni, Class of 2006
Matty comes to ITP from a year at Interaction - Ivrea. Before that, he lived in Japan as a design technologist for 2 years and worked as a designer/web developer in San Francisco prior to that. He is interested in information visualization, mobile robotics and installation-based works.