text:
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Comic 605: Why You Shouldn't Marry Randall
This comic didn't anger me so much as sadden me. It's just "oh hey here is some mistakes you can deliberately make with math." As though people don't know how damn easy it is to lie with statistics. What's he trying to prove? Are we supposed to laugh at the man for being wrong? Are we supposed to laugh at the idea, knowing the man doesn't really believe it? Are we supposed to laugh at how terrible this marriage is going to turn out? Or how she is all dressed up and he isn't?
The old "My Hobby" comics were some of the best comics he did (particularly 37 and 236, if you ask me, which you do). But this one (and that other one) is awful. Randall in essence has two "brands" with his comic, two concepts which have predetermined implications and associations for his readers: Mr. Hat, and "My Hobby." As far as I know, those are the only recurring ideas of this nature in xkcd, concepts that can be places in all sorts of contexts and all sorts of jokes and make a degree of sense (no matter how often he tries to make Mr. Beret a recurring character, he hasn't given him any amount of consistency yet, so we can't count him).
Anyway the point is, like xkcd itself, fans of the comic expect good things when they see "My Hobby" and Mr. Hat (assuming they are still fans, they probably do, that is. If you are like me, you have lost all faith. But Randy doesn't draw for me). They are things he can rely on to make fans a certain comic that they might not otherwise, if the joke had been presented differently. See for example this dude. And I think that's what Randy is taking advantage of, perhaps not consciously: Covering up a crappy comic by putting it in a popular series. Think "New Coke." This is all meant more as observation than criticism.
Continuing with using this rather bland comic as a springboard for more general xkcd discussion, let's talk about math.
Someone e-mailed me with a link to this forum post, demonstrating just how simple the math here is. Especially when the 9th grade author of the post corrects Randall's graph. I'm not meaning to criticize the fact that it's simple (so you can delete your "You complain when it's too hard and when it's too easy, you dumb fuck!" e-mails) but it did get me thinking:
Does it seem like the math in xkcd is getting easier? At the beginning we had Poisson distributions and Fourier transforms. Even after it graduated from Randall's Notebook Drawings, we still got complicated stuff like this equation, Karnaugh maps, and the Bellman-Ford equation. And the Reimann-Zeta function.
What have we had recently? There was 602, but that was more of a "generic math" thing - it could be replaced with anything and work just as well. Fibonacci numbers, statistics 101 -it's just simpler now. Do people agree with this, or am I being crazy? And is it crazy to think that maybe it's because he is selling out and wants to appeal to more and more people, and jokes about Karnaugh maps are not going to do that? MAYBE!
Again, not saying this is bad, or that he should do something else - just saying that it seems like he is selling out his original niche for a more commercially popular one.
Lastly, when looking through archives for old math comics I came across this, and it made me so sad:
58 comments:
- formatJuly 4, 2009 at 11:55 PM
It isn't a reach to think that maybe Randall is forgetting at least a bit of his education. It happens to everyone.ReplyDelete
- formatJuly 4, 2009 at 11:57 PM
Hell I forget what I took in University 2 terms ago. Randall's been away from the academic and professional scenes for how long now?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 12:14 AM
This comic reminded me of one English professor I had in college. The second lecture of the semester, I overslept and missed class. After the third lecture he chewed me out for missing the second lecture because I had, so far, missed 33% of the classes. As if that was going to dictate a future trend or something.ReplyDelete
(Well, I did end up burning out and fucking up that semester, although I still passed all my courses - many with Cs, unfortunately, and then my GPA dropped to 3.48 which was 0.02 below the threshold for maintaining my scholarship and that led me down a path of not-giving-a-shit.)
Format: OK, but he should drop the "Math" from his blog's description. And people should stop this nonsense that this is somehow a "nerdy" webcomic.ReplyDelete
- SubcultureJuly 5, 2009 at 12:38 AM
It still is nerdy. Not as academic, but nevertheless, xkcd retains a hold on the old math/science. "Mainstream" people do not base a joke on Paul Erdos.ReplyDelete
You have to admit though, nerdy is now way more mainstream than it was 20 years ago. At least on the internet where it is overrepresented.ReplyDelete
Somehow, it seems, jokes about the bizarre, quirky world of science are not very amusing when you know -and the lack of clue in every strip confirms it- that the author is no longer in that world, but someone who makes a living drawing a crappy webcomic three days a week and literally sits on his ass and looks at 4chan all day.
You know, although I'll admit that it's annoying how much Randall overuses the idea, I still think it would be totally sweet to be able to conjure huge graphs out of thin air and point at them with a stick in the course of conversation.ReplyDelete
Obviously I need to invent some sort of micro-portable belt-buckle overhead projector.
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 1:35 AM
What made me laugh was how the husband invested in it. Drawing a huge graph just for this stupid one time joke.ReplyDelete
But we've already seen people putting effect into stupid graph jokes in xkcd.
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 1:52 AM
Also, Carl, can you make a list of web comics that you read and are consistently good?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 2:00 AM
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, 1:52 anonymous!ReplyDelete
My favorite thing about the "throw off your shackles" comic is that he comes up with such a milquetoast example of 'a final blaze of dadaist glory'. If there is one thing you can say about Randall, it's that he's very representative of Massachusetts.ReplyDelete
- ZantosJuly 5, 2009 at 3:40 AM
Hey Carl, can you make a list of pirates you like? I mean, like, Blackbeard and stuff.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 4:17 AM
Redbeard was hereReplyDelete
Blackbeard sucks
I don't think we should risk getting this blog in trouble by discussing piracy.
I don't think the word 'math' should be removed from the comic description as long as the word 'language' is still in there. There are maybe two comics about language in the entire archive, and Randall's grasp of the English language is so poor that it's kind of a travesty to describe XKCD as a comic about language.ReplyDelete
To add to the lameness of this joke, wasn't one of his comics an incredibly preachy thing about honest and dishonest representations of numbers?ReplyDelete
I think the reason the comic has lost it's intelligence is that the fanbase has become a lot younger. I'm an ex-forum member, apparently the only one over 14. Just look at the "Coding help" or "General" sections: Every other thread is "Python", "Python", "beginning programming", "blah", "blah, blah", "I'm better than my friends, because I read some comic AND I UNDERSTAND THE JOKES...and I'm so alone".ReplyDelete
Sadly, Randall has let the forum affect the comic. It's aimed at elitist high-school kids, sadly. That might explain the fixation with sex jokes too.
I kind of see how this comic could have been funny, in an absurd, kind of way, if he had removed the dialogue and "My hobby" title, and just shown the guy explaining the diagram to the bride, but as usual, he messed that up too.
By the way, am I the only one that is creeped out over the way the guy bends his head toward the girl when talking? Since he's not dressed up, I'm guessing he's a friend of hers, rather than the groom (which would fit in the every-male-is-Randall theory, since he's alone and sad). That's not how you respect the personal space of your friends. Even if he is marrying her (I don't know, maybe he doesn't want to marry off Megan to someone else), it still gives me bad vibes, like she is trapped between him and the speech bubble, in a two-dimensional world, with nowhere to run, and he is coming to marry her, and make her have hundreds of babies.
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 9:35 AM
lol. Yeah, the word "math" should be removed from the comic description, because absolutely *none* of the strips from the "old" xkcd count as part of the comic.ReplyDelete
I'm also quite amused at how you people assume the guy is her husband? Not only does the comic suggest that that's false, whoever wrote this post refuted their own belief without realising it: "she is all dressed up and he isn't".
But seriously, that comic you put up struck with me too. I doubt xkcd is "selling out", but it's changed, and change can suck.
New theory: Guy is Randall, bride is Megan, groom is someone else. Guy is trying to prove that she shouldn't have married groom, and that it will only last for a day. Guy secretly hoping that he is among the other four dozen husbands.ReplyDelete
I improved it, to prove my point: http://img40.imageshack.us/img40/3385/extrapolating.pngReplyDelete
I had an idea for a site: xkcd minus text.
I made some more, based on the latest ones:ReplyDelete
Randall ignoring Megan
Randall shows Mr. Line Through Head the finger
Randall dreaming of taking down and stacking paintings
Randall practicing head floating in front of computer
Randall trades Megan for blonde
My friend, you simply must visit xkcd: could be better!ReplyDelete
Comics I like that are usually good: Qwantz, penny arcade, achewood, chainsawsuit, married to the sea, moe, SMBC, overcompensating. And then I read a bunch of others that are sometimes good. Now - tell me that the problem is just that my sense of humor sucks because I like comic [x]! that is always what this leads to.
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 11:40 AM
carl your humor sux if you like qwantz, k?ReplyDelete
Best one in weeks? I think so.ReplyDelete
Who calls it "qwantz"?ReplyDelete
- Way WalkerJuly 5, 2009 at 12:08 PM
"Randall shows Mr. Line Through Head the finger" is the first thing on the internet to make me actually laugh out loud since http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1557ReplyDelete
Something about the long, awkward silence. It's just beautiful.
Could we make a chart of how many bad xkcd's there have been and extrapolate how many more we can expect to be made?ReplyDelete
- Person #1July 5, 2009 at 1:57 PM
thomas, it would just reflect the truthReplyDelete
and depress us
- Person #1July 5, 2009 at 1:58 PM
also captcha = suacc, lolReplyDelete
I did quite like this one. I laughed "at the idea, knowing that the man didn't really believe it". Well, obviously I didn't actually laugh, but you see my point. It seems like a pretty amusing thing for a person to say on someone's wedding day.ReplyDelete
The maths is pretty screwed up though - even I can see that. That zero should really be at the origin. As it is, the graph implies that, what, the day before yesterday she had MINUS husbands?
Although I might be a little biased, as I went to a friend's wedding yesterday.
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 3:00 PM
@Ann Apolis: I call it "qwantz" because it's faster to type than "daily dinosaur comics."ReplyDelete
Mr. Dandy, I like your text-removal of 605 lots.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 5, 2009 at 5:52 PM
I normally like xkcd, but the alt-text on this one creeped me out: "By the third trimester, there will be hundreds of babies inside you." Wtf?ReplyDelete
You can't extrapolate from two numbers. Period. Because you could just as easily say the numbers are going 0,1,4,9,16... or 0,1,0,-1,0... or any other of inifinite options.ReplyDelete
This comic might have been funny if Randall had actually spent enough time thinking about it to come up with three intervals that imply a trend that isn't actually there. But no. He went with a joke that works with literally anything that has a first time. It's lazy.
I've been inspired to make this:ReplyDelete
someone send it to Randall!
- RamseyJuly 5, 2009 at 9:12 PM
Today's comic would have made a much better My Hobby comic. As it stands, there are about three extraneous panels.ReplyDelete
@Ken: Of course you can extrapolate from two numbers. It just has to be linear. Obviously, I can get any quadratic series at all out of it -- but you could just as easily say it's impossible to extrapolate from three points, because what if it's cubic? And so forth.ReplyDelete
Obviously, I'm nit-picking, but it seems to me that the central absurdity is that he's misusing the data set.
On the other hand, I suppose March-June temperature data would work reasonably well and be a full data set.
On a lighter note, I once insisted that I could get home using a map of the Museum of Science and Industry because I could extrapolate.
- Cuddlefish PrimeJuly 5, 2009 at 10:05 PM
So Randall's problem with the guy at the end of 606 is not that running around shouting memes is unfunny and annoying, but rather that Portal is old now, and if the guy wants to be nerd-cool he should be regurgitating phrases from newer games instead?ReplyDelete
Okay, just checking.
Anyway, I generally buy/play older games for similar reasons as the guy in the comic, so I admit I sort of chuckled at the GOOMH-ness of it. Still not a great comic, but not one of the worst either.
I think he was again going for a "get out of my head". Because intentionally bad extrapolations is an extremely common activity on campus (along with describing something as "infinitely better" if it's the difference between 0 and X, instead of saying "X better"). I didn't find it funny because I always want to dropkick those people. Except when I do it. But when I do it I'm funny, I hope.ReplyDelete
I agree that the math is getting easier and that it's probably just because he's out of school.
The new one reminds me of a University roommate who discovered Austin Powers in 2004, and quoted the first couple extensively. So while I hate memes and excessive quoting, I do agree that outdated quoting is a special form of evil.
- AnonymousJuly 6, 2009 at 12:24 AM
Gotta admit, the alt-text was pretty funny in a weird surreal way.ReplyDelete
It is, in fact, a comic about the fact that quoting old memes is not funny. Consider Carl's mind blown at this extraordinary doublethink*.ReplyDelete
*and yes, that is a textbook example of doublethink. Seriously. "Holding two contradictory opinions at the same time". It's in the frickin' book. I've read it. Honest.
- AnonymousJuly 6, 2009 at 4:46 AM
Ann, nobody cares what books you have or haven't read, or what words you know the meaning of.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 6, 2009 at 7:16 AM
Anon 4:46, no one cares about your pent up sexual frustrations reading Ann's posts.ReplyDelete
Wow, really? "You just say that because you want to have sex with her"? Even disregarding what gender Ann actually is, is that really the best thing you could come up with?ReplyDelete
I know I only ever say anything because I want to have sex with Ann Apolis.ReplyDelete
Everyone feels that way, Rob. The first step is to accept that.ReplyDelete
And the second step is to accept that it ain't ever gonna happen.
- formatJuly 6, 2009 at 9:24 AM
this is why we can't have nice things.ReplyDelete
- anonymouseJuly 6, 2009 at 9:24 AM
That Garfield comic is stupid because Jim Davis did throw off the shackles and do something unexpected once. And after showing he could, he went right back to regular Garfield.ReplyDelete
Also there's nothing wrong with outdated quoting. Everyone doesn't discover everything at the same time. If you get to act like an idiot after noticing something in 2009, you can't hate the person who acts the same way in 2013, because all you can say is "they're acting just like me, only removed from the socially accepting environment that stopped me from realizing how stupid I, and everyone around me, were being."
- AnonymousJuly 6, 2009 at 10:18 AM
Lol, look what I started.ReplyDelete
What does Ann Apolis' gender have to do with anything, Fred?
- person #1July 6, 2009 at 10:20 AM
Today's isn't funny at all. Ha ha, he referenced something outdated. k?ReplyDelete
Plus, I didn't run to people screaming a bunch of contextless references after playing portal. I did reference it, but I didn't literally shout random quotes in people faces
guys can we make "... and I'm so alone" another meme on this blogReplyDelete
like just type whatever you have to say
... and I'm so alone.
- Person #1July 6, 2009 at 12:19 PM
It would be true, though. I could be outside enjoying a social life, instead I am posting on a blog dedicated to practice collective critique/flaming against a comic some dude drawsReplyDelete
I'm so alone
"I'm So Alone" is unfortunately not the name of any track on my upcoming album. We're upbeat! Jazzy! Cheerful!...ReplyDelete
...so, so alone...
Hey. I just wanted to make the point that, what with all this ballyhoo about "You can't trend from two points!" we're ignoring that Faceless Man has (and is probably willfully ignoring) thousands of additional points. If we're going by day, assuming the bride is 20 years old, we have over seven thousand data points at which she wasn't married. So that's interesting?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 7, 2009 at 6:56 PM
No it's not!ReplyDelete
- AnonymousJuly 7, 2009 at 8:21 PM
I know I'm probably giving him way too much credit, but it felt like he was making fun of himself here.ReplyDelete


text:
However, a mere 667 turbines into the construction (likely about a sixth of the total planned turbines) Mr. Pickens is pulling out of the "green gold" project of which he has contributed $10 billion. A deciding factor was the difficulties in securing heavy transmission lines need to link the generators to the nation's power grid. Mr. Pickens tried to get financing for the lines, but the deal fell through.
Now he is pulling out of the project, mostly. He states, "The capital markets have dealt us all a setback. I am committed to 667 wind turbines and I am going to find projects for them. I expect to continue development of the Pampa project, but not at the pace that I originally expected."
Mr. Pickens made a fortune off his venture oil and gas firm Mesa Petroleum that after initial success began gobbling up oil and natural gas companies in the 1980s. Now it appears that Mr. Pickens is returning to his roots. He comments that natural gas is "the only option at this point" and continues, "There's no other, there's nothing else to replace it. It's the one and only resource in America that today can replace foreign oil. It is a cleaner, abundant fuel."
Still he remains optimistic on wind power, stating, "We've got more wind than anybody else in the world, just like they have more oil. I think that's the future of this country. We'll get there."
President Obama's alternative energy efforts have pleased Mr. Pickens, as does a new bill which will offer tax credits for the production of alternative fuels vehicles, including cars that can run on natural gas. In addition to introduce new tax credits the bill will require 50 percent of all new vehicles purchased or placed in service by the U.S. government by December 31, 2014, to be capable of operating on compressed or liquefied natural gas.
Cheers Mr. Pickens, "We're going to now use natural gas in place of foreign oil."
Major wind and solar installations continue to gain traction in America, but the death of the Pickens project in Texas showcases the problems with America's power infrastructure. America is suffering from a decrepit and poorly maintained power grid which not only lowers efficiencies (raising power costs) and contributes to brownouts, but also hinders alternative energy projects. As America has expanded, the grid hasn't expanded quickly enough with it, as this project showcases.

subset: commoncrawl


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Friday, August 20, 2010
Ethics? Ethics? We Don't Need No Stinking Ethics
Ask any wine blogger what the biggest roadblock to success in the wine business is and he'll undoubtedly answer, "Ethics." Stupid, useless ol' ethics. And not because he believes in ethics, that's clearly a waste of time, much like reading wine blogs published east of the Mississippi, but because there are not guidelines to these imaginary ethics. Just where are the lines that one isn't supposed to cross? And where are the lines one is supposed to obey? And the ones they promised me I could snort? You start a wine blog for purposes of personal gain, get a little bit of notoriety, and, BANG, someone goes and ruins the whole thing by bringing up ethics. You win a Wine Blog Award, an achievement equal to passing your driver's license exam without the actual driving test, and some ethics cop, some self-appointed moron of morality, some pompous penis of principles, comes along and points out you were a judge in the competition. All because of ethics! How stupid is that? What does it matter that you were a judge? You won fair and square! There are no ethics on the Internet. The Internet wasn't created so that the cretins of conscience could ruin it for everybody! The Internet can't survive if you expect ethical behavior. What sort of an idiot thinks that? No, the Internet was created so that we can do anything we fucking want to do and not have to answer for it. Christ, it's so obvious.
Nonetheless, ethical guidelines are sorely needed in the wine blog world, if only to know what to ignore. It's tiresome to go to all the trouble of writing a wine blog yet not get the satisfaction of knowing that you're absolutely unethical. I've been giving this issue a lot of thought. OK, I'm actually just making this up off the top of my head, but that's what you're supposed to do when you're blogging--make shit up as you go along. It's what all the top bloggers do. It's how they got to the top. Once again, it's the Internet. What does it matter whether what I write is thoughtful or original or, God forbid, accurate? Only the addlepated, dimwitted, thunderstruck and the anencephalic believe what they read on the Internet. Though that is the core group that reads Palate Press. Anyhow, I have given this issue great thought and now present the core set of Ethics for Wine Bloggers. I'll thank you to follow them.
Free Stuff
This is simple. You're entitled to it. You've got a wine blog, you work at it every day, you're on your journey to discover wine, wineries are supposed to send you samples. And if they don't, wineries can be incredibly stupid about not sending out enough free wine to the people, wine bloggers (duh), who will determine their very existence, just call them up and ask them for it! It's your ethical responsibility to ASK THE GODDAM WINERIES TO SEND YOU YOUR WINE. And don't make the egregious mistake of not telling them your shirt and hat sizes--they'll want to send you swag and can be very pouty if you don't seem to want any.
You are not obligated to report to your readers that the wines you review on your blog were sent to you for free. Who made that up? If you're using them, get rid of your stupid disclaimers. It's no one's fucking business where you got the wine from! The only things that matter are that you liked the wine, that it paired well with the lavish dinner the winery treated you to, and, above all, what kind of closure it had. No one needs to know you didn't pay a nickel for it. What kind of a lousy world would this be if we had to reveal every goddam thing we get for free? The whole country would devolve into anarchy. The IRS would be buried in paperwork. Hookers and pimps don't report their income! Explain to me the difference between wine bloggers and hookers and pimps! Yeah, pimps drive nicer cars, but other than that. Sure, unlike wine bloggers, hookers spit, but other than that. It's outrageous. Your ethical obligation is to say nice things about the wineries that give you free stuff, and only nice things. First off, you're not really qualified to judge wines, so why would you risk appearing stupid and ridicule that Moscato d'Asti for having some sort of chemical problem that makes it fizzy? Just say something nice, you got it for free, didn't your mother teach you to say thank you? This is so obvious, I wonder why it has to be said. Sheesh.
Again, this is simple. Everything you can think of, especially you, to say about wine has been said before and said far better than your miserable vocabulary allows you to say. Oh, goody, you discovered Aglianico, a wine that's been around for thousands of years but you're the first one to notice it's pretty good wine if you like that Southern Italian crap even though the ones they're starting to make in California are sooo much better. Great. Fascinating. I'm quivering with excitement. Believe me, everything you have to say about Aglianico, the grape and the free bottle of wine you're talking about, and every other wine, has been said more articulately and more eloquently. And yet, it is your ethical responsibility to bring the level of discussion down to where the kind of dolts who read wine blogs can understand it. Your job is to educate the poor slobs who know less than you about wine, the fools who've only been learning about wine for eight months when you've been reading Lettie Teague for years, the sad group of humans who don't know what to buy when they're shopping at BevMo and someone has torn down the Wilfred Wong recommendations and put up pictures of kitties instead, though the kitties would be more useful than Wilfred for explaining the crap BevMo sells. Your job is to say, in very simple phrases and poor English, what has been said before. This is how wine blogs work. Don't go trying to be original. Really. This is important. Just look at the top wine blogs. See anything original? No. Take a hint. Figure it out. Genius.
And when you're not reviewing wines or writing about your annoying children or filling your pointless blog with more links than a Jimmy Dean warehouse, you can always plug local events. After all, your eleven readers really want to know about the $150 per ticket Insipid Producers of Oregon Tasting with music by Celine Dion impersonator, Celine Dion. It it your ethical responsibility to post as often as possible without regard to meaningful content. Try to see your wine blog as spam. The meat, not the junk mail. You call that meat? You call that writing?
When reviewing wines that you don't really understand or you are incapable of describing, it is perfectly ethical to simply quote from the fact sheet the winery provided, or reword the back label. There's no need to try to make up descriptors when the correct ones are right in front of you! The only ethical responsibility you have is to make certain no one knows you've borrowed from someone else's work. That would be misguided and can only lead to uncertainty and chaos. Better yet, why not just skip the stupid description and simply assign the wine a score? Scores cannot be questioned, and make lovely graphics besides. Lately, wine bloggers have begun to use badges instead of scores. I am completely in favor of this trend. Poodles becoming badgers. After all, both wine bloggers and badgers are in the weasel family.
Best New Wine Blog Nominess 2010
68 comments:
Who puts up a new post on Friday?!?!.....
- August 20, 2010 at 9:57 AM
- Charlie Olken said...
Is it true that you can lead an anencephalic blogger to culture but you cannot make him think?
What the good is an anence-a-phalic if it does not work? Can one take Viagra for that?
The nice thing about anencephalic is that you can write it ten times and still fit it in a twittering.
- August 20, 2010 at 12:29 PM
- Steve Heimoff said...
Thank you HoseMaster. Your post on ethics was a real eye opener. I am going to accept your suggestions. It will make my life so much easier. Again, thank you.
- August 20, 2010 at 12:32 PM
- Thomas said...
The trouble with this Hosemaster fellow is that he never tells us exactly what he thinks of bloggers. He's so clever with those flowery words and phrases like "weasel" and "pimps." I mean, if this Hosemaster is afraid to say what eh really thinks, he should stop with the comedy and become a politician.
If I ever meet this Hosemaster fellow in person I am going to use my new Stanlee pliers that I bought in Chinatown, NY City for 25 cents, and pull the word "notoriety" out of his head.
Other than that, nice blog post.
- August 20, 2010 at 1:39 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
That was the whole point. Just take all the misconceptions about wine blogger ethics and spell them out. This ain't testifying before Congress, it's just talking about wine, an alcoholic beverage, assigning it a fictional score or giving it an idiotic badge (can bloggers get any dumber?), accepting all the free stuff from wineries that is our due, and getting on with our lives.
- August 20, 2010 at 1:40 PM
Nice post. I learned something, too.
- August 20, 2010 at 1:40 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
So what's wrong with "notoriety," my unsolicited copy editor?
I am a bit shy about expressing my useless opinions. But I think this has been my most useful and enlightening post ever, and it should be reprinted and posted on every wine blogger's forehead, preferably with a nail gun.
Catavinoonahottinroof! Loved it!
- August 20, 2010 at 1:46 PM
- Thomas said...
Catavinoonahottinroof! Loved it!
Thank you. It was a spark of genius that I rarely display--oops, I'm anaonymous.
The real fun part was the heavy message and the "cheers" sign-off that so many spammers think we weasel bloggers can't figure out as spam.
- August 20, 2010 at 2:29 PM
- abc said...
You would greatly enjoy the email I got this morning from a blogger in a dizzy because he has yet to get a review copy of a book that I have not even seen finished copies of yet.
I like most of the bloggers I work with, but the "you must give me something free" crowd can be more than a bit crazy making.
- August 20, 2010 at 4:08 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Amy Love,
Oh, yeah, sorry about that email. I just need to have Puff Daddy's new book soon! And for free. One positive review from me and it's an instant bestseller. In fact, send me ten copies.
- August 20, 2010 at 4:29 PM
- abc said...
Well if you had said that in the email... I hadn't that you, alone could make it a bestseller.
See you Sunday?
- August 20, 2010 at 4:51 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
I feel like the Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz....hate it when the smart guys get here first! Now I'm gonna have to bust my bra to get your attention again...dammit
- August 20, 2010 at 6:38 PM
Here's why, despite the unparallelled(!) insight I could offer to multiple readers, I don't try my hand at a blog. Whenever I think about things I would share on the blog, I think the same thing about it that HMW would surely think about it. It would suck about 94%. But there would be 6% of cool, interesting opinion and information. Admittedly, wine blogs almost always suck almost all of the time.
So, what does it mean to be the wine blogger who rips up and points out the shortcomings and idiosycrasies of ALL other wine blogs? What kind of reptilian creature bases a whole blog on criticizing people who would be so moronic that they would create a whole blog about wine and how it relates to their loserish existence? Only a superior being, obviously. We get it. Wine blogs suck. Not yours, though.
I don't mean to criticize only negatively. That's your territory.
How about telling us about a couple of wine blogs that you like (and why) once in a blue moon ? I'm all for satire, but when it's so constant and so biting, one has to wonder eventually what's eating you personally.
I recall that Sam posted a while back about a crank that slammed her writing and her palate and her whole web presence generally, and comments quickly rushed to her defense (as they should have). Strange that you and she have such a kinship on the boards when you are the cruellest attacker that bashes wine bloggers' sometimes meager efforts.
You have a terrific sense of humor, and I sometimes enjoy your taking the piss out of the wine world. Try being decent once in a while, though.
- August 20, 2010 at 7:37 PM
Hey, anonymous. Do we need to post a "Welcome to Fark" jpg for you?
- August 20, 2010 at 8:10 PM
- Charlie Olken said...
Ooh la la. Anon must be a sommelier. You know, one of those guys who walks around with a silver spoon around his or her neck only it is actually cheap metal polished to look like silver.
What we just got was cheap metal. It may have been long and seemed to be intelligent, but this person is not only like a sommelier but a bad sommelier who tells you what wine to be but doesn't know what hell he is talking about because he has only been a sommelier for three years and before that he sold cell phones.
Of course, what I like most is the Anonymous name. People lacking the guts to post their own name with comments like those are basic frauds. They don't have the guts to exist.
So, Mr. Fraud, Mr. Bad Wine Advice, take you cheap tastevin and hit the road.
- August 20, 2010 at 9:32 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
My kinship is with Ron Washam, the fierce wit, the amazingly sweet man behind the HoseMaster curtain. I admire his willingness to call it as he sees it, his indignation at what is really a bunch of bullshit. Ron twists his passion for wine and this business, his disappointment in how puffy and full of shit we have all become, his experience into this funny blog that is like glimpsing a picture of yourself, (so long as you are willing to really and honestly look at yourself) taking a piss on the side of the road...and laugh.
I am laughing. I know that 94% of the shit I write is lame and self obsessed...so I laugh. Kinship.
The blogs he digs are easy to figure out, they are right there on his blogroll.
I don't want to be combative with someone that was and is sweet enough to read me but....I beg you to just take a second, read, understand and maybe after this little diatribe of mine, feel.
It's not scientific, it's not precise and it's not "as it has been" but it is funny...wicked funny, honest and so fucking beautifully written. I admire actual talent, words strung together in a way that they lift me, make me ache and alert me to the fact that the cat that is making fun of me is in fact WAY smarter than I am. Humbling.
And now I will slink off before The HoseMaster breaks my bawls.
I love you Ron
Thank you for saying...it
And adoring me
I love you
- August 20, 2010 at 10:43 PM
I think you'll find they pronounce it "sam-all-yay". It's the first thing they learn...
Whatever happened to that "no anonymous comments" policy?
- August 20, 2010 at 10:45 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
okay am I the only one that is "raising the roof" right now?
"Hip hop hooray, yay yeah okay now Sam-all yay, hooray yay now"
Going away..hip hop hooray
- August 20, 2010 at 11:00 PM
- Sip with Me! said...
"Ohhh, free stuff. I do like free stuff! Thanks for the tip on the shirt and hat sizes, maybe that's why I haven't gotten any of those… yet. And where's my badge? I want one of those too :)
Seriously my dearest Jose, what about the flip side of this discussion. How about the lack of ethics SHOWN wine bloggers? How everyone wants to take advantage of and use the blogger… for free: Here write this about me, promote my event, give me social media advice. But I'm not going to pay you—you're a blogger, you're used to doing this shit for free.
If it's okay with you, I'd prefer to keep my poodle title. I guess I'm not evolved enough, but I'd much rather be a spoiled yet furry and snuggly barker than a weaselly badger who lives underground any day of the week.
The line that nearly spit my wine out of my nose tonight: "…unlike wine bloggers, hookers spit." Damn you're good.
- August 20, 2010 at 11:38 PM
I have got it figured out at last.
What we have here is the revenge fo the anencephalic bloggers. They have no brain so they have no name.
- August 21, 2010 at 1:13 AM
Yes, but some are brachycephalic. So they can type, but can't remember their names.
- August 21, 2010 at 1:21 AM
- Thomas said...
Good grief! I go away to get blasted on two--count 'em--bottles of wine and all hose breaks lose here at hellmaster.
Sip-with-me brings up a good point. For instance, in my newspaper columns, I refuse to write about the special events of wineries, and I get press releases every day about them. The way I view it, that's advertising, and advertising pays the newspaper's bills and my fee. Why should the wineries get free advertising?
But winery PR people aren't exactly dumb. Since I don't generally review wines, most wineries have figured out not to send me free samples. Maybe that's my mistake...
Anyway, to whomever wrote the anonymous post seeking that hosemaster write about the bloggers he likes, wouldn't that be like asking Tolstoy to write comedic novellas?
- August 21, 2010 at 6:01 AM
Sorry, everybody. Was posting under the influence last night. That entire diatribe was only for my own benefit, meaning I should have kept it to myself instead of subjecting you readers and commenters to it. That doesn't mean it's not true, however.
Forget about it, Hosie.
- August 21, 2010 at 6:51 AM
BTW, not a smelly A.
- August 21, 2010 at 6:56 AM
- John Kafarski said...
Nothing wrong with free samples as long as you tell the readers where you got them from. The whole point of writing a blog, at least for me, is to educate and enlighten my readers as best as my ability allows me to do so. And if a winery, importer, distributor or friend wants to give me a bottle of wine for free, I will accept it and make sure it's obvious that I received it from them without paying.
There are already too many shills out there for wineries and importers, but that doesn't mean that all wine bloggers, writers and educators are on the take.
Great post.
- August 21, 2010 at 7:24 AM
Lastly, in defense of all sommeliers who ever sold a cell phone, the only title in the pantheon of the wine world that induces more douche chills than "sommelier" is "connoisseur". Just sayin'.
- August 21, 2010 at 8:20 AM
- Thomas said...
John Kafarski,
Not aimed directly at you, because I have no idea what your background or wine knowledge is but,
"...to educate and enlighten my readers as best as my ability..."
In my humble view, it takes knowledge to educate and to enlighten, and wine knowledge isn't an automatic thing by virtue of having consumed a lot of wine over the years. Too many bloggers are self-appointed on that basis alone. If I still owned a winery, I wouldn't send them my lees for free.
- August 21, 2010 at 8:39 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
I guess I should check my blog more often before I go to sleep at night.
If you ever do decide to begin your wine blog, which you should do without fear of the HoseMaster, you will find that there is little more annoying than people who post anonymously. If there's a reason you need to be anonymous, send me an email and tell me why and I'll let you post. Not that you want to. There are a few folks like that here, but I know who they are. Otherwise, I'll just delete your comments. Not because they're critical, but because they're meaningless without someone who will stand behind them. It's only wine, and it's only comedy, it's not hatemongering and racism.
There are thousands of "nice" wine blogs out there. I encourage you to read them. As Samantha points out, I have a blog roll of friends and of blogs I admire. I'm not doing this to be liked. I'm doing this to make people laugh, make them occasionally think, and if I intimidate a few bloggers out of saying and posting stupid things, well, that's a fringe benefit we can all enjoy. And, most importantly, I write HoseMaster for myself. I'm not David Sedaris or Garrison Keillor, I don't have much of an audience (though it's an educated and amazing audience), there is no other reason to do this except I enjoy doing it. I like exercising my HoseMaster voice, and I find that he leaves me alone if I give him voice here a few times a month.
And, Anonymous, you will notice that I carefully include HoseMaster as another moronic wine blog. I never exclude myself from the Poodle category. That's all part of the joke, my friend.
Satire needs exaggeration, it needs generalization, and it requires that you don't pull any punches. To be honest, I often make myself cringe with the cruelty of the HoseMaster's observations, and their unfairness. I often worry that I've crossed a line. But if it's funny, I let it stand. There is a line one might cross from funny over to stupid and tasteless, a line that's crossed every thirty seconds on Comedy Central, and I try to get as close to that line as I can, dangle one toe over it, and then not quite cross. This is entertaining for me. And probably only me.
I often tell my wife that I wish someone would go after the HoseMaster. A few have done so, but they always just use high school putdowns like "You're not even funny," and "Nobody likes you." You took the time, slightly drunk or not, to take a shot at me, and I appreciate that. But when you do it anonymously everyone is just going to think you're a coward, that you don't have the courage of your convictions. Even Ken Payton signed his diatribe, which appears in my Critics' Quotes. I read through your paragraphs, thought, "good for him/her," and waited to see who you were. Nobody.
Tamara Darling,
I've often ranted and raved (I know, hard to believe) about winery marketing folks and how they manipulate hapless bloggers. Bloggers see it as success that wineries notice them, then post free laudatory reviews and links to their event pages. It would be tragic were it not for the fact that the only folks that read wine blogs are other wine bloggers. This piece was about wine blogger ethics. Marketing ethics, well, it's hard to write about what doesn't exist.
My Gorgeous Samantha,
You flatter me with your admiration and love. I may be a sweet man behind the HoseMaster curtain, but it's what I write that I have to answer for, and I'm willing to do so, using my own name. Many folks find my blog offensive and not very funny. I'm OK with that. But there is something about wine that engenders passion, and that often leads to "puffy and full of shit" opinions. And poor writing. I guess I'm the sort of misanthrope who likes to point it out.
I am honored to have you in my life.
I love you!
- August 21, 2010 at 9:03 AM
- abc said...
Speaking of comments I should make offline.
This:"Marketing ethics, well, it's hard to write about what doesn't exist."
Oh come on. I know it pleases the crowd but give me a break.
- August 21, 2010 at 9:23 AM
- Charlie Olken said...
One further note to Anonymous.
At least I sign my posts. I am not hiding, which is more than we can say for you.
It is easy to insult people and run away. Have the guts to stand up and say who you are. I am not in favor of blacklisting people on any public medium, but you are getting dumped by Ron because you insult people and run away.
That makes you a coward--and queen of the douche chills.
- August 21, 2010 at 9:43 AM
- Samantha Dugan said...
"Queen of the douche chills" I horked coffee all over my laptop...fuck. I love you Charlie
- August 21, 2010 at 9:47 AM
George Carlin once said that everything can be funny, depending on the construct and exaggeration (he posited that rape can be funny if you imagine Elmer Fudd raping Porky Pig (or was that the other way around?)).
If you come to a venue known to you for something, you should not get bent out of shape if that happens to you: like getting picked on by the stand up comic in a comedy club, or Dr. Laura berating you (maybe an imperfect example given recent transpirings, but if you listen to her show for 10 years and she goes rabid on you when you call in....)
- August 21, 2010 at 9:52 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Ah Amy,
Off the cuff jokes are just stupid. Foolish and too broad to be accurate. Let's see, you hate that I hate Twitter and you're offended that I took a cheap shot at marketing. None of that was aimed at you, Amy, and though I try never to apologize for what I say, if you took offense, I am sorry.
There are ethics to Marketing. Someone should use them besides you. And anyone else who reads this.
Anyone else hate me today? I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.
- August 21, 2010 at 10:00 AM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Hate you?! Looks like a HoseMaster love fest to me. Shit at least you make people feel something, all tumbleweeds and crickets at my stupid blog.
Not that I am any prize Love but you still got me. I am nowhere as cool as over sized sun glasses but more lifelike than a cupie doll...oh and I simply adore you.
- August 21, 2010 at 10:17 AM
- abc said...
Hate? Geez.
I'm just grumbly that instead of being a lawyer I chose the hated profession that pays nothing.
- August 21, 2010 at 10:35 AM
- Thomas said...
I hate you, Hosemaster, for being funnier than I, and for becoming notorious for it...
- August 21, 2010 at 11:07 AM
- Thomas said...
Incidentally, I think I ought to become anonymous (a tough word to type when you can't type).
My reason: stalkers; they can't seem to get enough of me.
- August 21, 2010 at 11:11 AM
- Alfonso Cevola said...
I would love to hate you. But then I would hate myself. Ain't gonna happen Hosie...
This is better than that sweat lodge ceremony we did back in '79 with Russell Means.
- August 21, 2010 at 11:20 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Wasn't Russell Means one of those Free Radicals they talk about in wine?
My Gorgeous Samantha,
Post an Anonymous hate mail on your blog. That will get rid of the crickets and tumbleweeds. Worked for me!
I love you!
- August 21, 2010 at 12:07 PM
Not really seeing that whether you know who I am has any bearing on the validity of anything I might say. Just seems a cheap way to give legitimacy to ignoring it. I'll choose to keep my own counsel regarding how much information I give you about myself, because there are people other than myself that depend on the fruits of my business. I wouldn't want somebody who is a fan of HMW or The 6th grade newsletter that has been obliquely referred to in previous posts to withhold the love.
Delete my comments if you will, Hosie. It's usually a sign of a weak minded leader who oppresses opinions that are critical or dissenting. Whatevs.
This is me not running away. Clark Kent don't make Superman a coward.
- August 21, 2010 at 2:35 PM
- Marcia Macomber said...
Why do I feel like I gotta slip on boxing gloves to play in this sandbox anymore? It's gettin' tough in this room!
How about a little M.S. Conspiracy to offset the mood, HMW?
Oh, yeah, my word verif: fortafgu. See what I mean?
- August 21, 2010 at 4:50 PM
- 1WineDude said...
- August 21, 2010 at 5:19 PM
- abc said...
I think you need to post a picture of a certain piglet to cheer us all up.
- August 21, 2010 at 7:00 PM
- Pamela @ Enobytes said...
There is a blog out there that has 11 readers? I gotta meet that guy…I could use some tips to increase my readership!
Tamara – thanks for calling out the flip side. I had a guy contact me wanting to be a guest contributor. Found out later he was only interested in posting his marketing material. WTF. Then he asked me to review his product as long as I paid for shipping and gave him a good review in exchange for his product. WTF.
- August 21, 2010 at 7:01 PM
- Charlie Olken said...
Your classic education is showing. Well-reasoned. Thoughtfully crafted.
WTF is about as clear as it gets.
- August 21, 2010 at 9:49 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
- August 21, 2010 at 10:02 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
I don't need legitimacy to ignore your comments, I only need integrity and intelligence. I don't care if you think I have a reptilian brain, and contribute nothing to the universe, and am a waste of human life. You're one of the weasels I refer to in my post, only you're the one that refuses to come out into the sun, afraid of your own shadow, and using others to try to make it seem legit. I haven't deleted you because you repeatedly make my point about the stupidity and ignorance of bloggers. Thank you.
The very definition of weak-minded is lacking the courage of one's convictions. Is that you or me?
- August 21, 2010 at 10:45 PM
- Alfonso Cevola said...
I do hate that your capthas are so doggone cool...there, I've said it. Again.
- August 22, 2010 at 8:37 AM
- Thomas said...
Arguing with an anonymous--now that's not smart, HM. Just let it go. Those who understand the dynamics will understand to ignore; those who do not, are hopeless.
It is beginning to wear me down, this barrage of wine "experts."
Why aren't there more blogs about beef, cars, shoes, socks, eyeglasses, hats, belt buckles, nail clippers, anything but wine?
More important, why are people so damned cocksure that everyone cares about their thoughts?
- August 22, 2010 at 9:04 AM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
I don't mind debating with Anonymous. He or she is clearly just baiting me, but I'm aware of that. And, in the future, any unsigned Anonymous posts will get quickly deleted. In many ways, this Anonymous stands for a lot of wine bloggers who dislike what I write here. Ignoring them isn't smart, it's arrogant. He/she can't get under my skin any more than all the other clowns who have written me hate mail. Believe me, I've received reams of it over my life and it has never bothered me. It's affirmation. It makes me laugh. Anonymous' comment made me laugh outloud, a rare occurrence I can assure you.
It does seem to make folks uncomfortable. Me? I get a kick out of it.
And, hey, I forgot to welcome Pamela from Enobytes! Welcome, Pamela. I know I'm on your blog roll and I appreciate it. Thanks for your support, and please try to chime in here often. Really. My gang of regulars can be intimidating, but all voices are welcome.
There you go acting like a regular wine blogger and repeating yourself.
I stay up all night writing those capture words--don't waste them frivolously.
Here are a few new ones I'm working on:
- August 22, 2010 at 9:20 AM
We know that we aren't supposed to send information to bloggers as printed material, but is it true one should never send their winery's tasting notes to a blogger as a pdf? Our consultant says the bloggers have a hard time lifting the stuff from the fact sheet or tasting notes if we send it as a pdf. We do our best to help the blogger describe the wine and that includes sending it as a Word document, but we wonder if there is more we can do for them.
Becky Banal
Public Relations
Castello Banal
- August 23, 2010 at 3:16 PM
There I was doing real work (checking facts) and realizing that daughter 3 was a poster child for a NYT Sunday Mag story when I finally had a break and read 50+ comments. Oh, and I did read the col, dear R. On target amidst the anonymous world of blogs, thanks.
Wine to rate is not free. It takes a lot of work to receive the wine, open it and sustainably or whatever dispose of the packaging, let alone the wine (yeah, tasting a lot of wine actually means dumping a lot of wine and that messes up your septic system if you live in the country. Drinking it all messes up your internal plumbing).
I wonder how the blourgeois will change the industry.
- August 23, 2010 at 3:31 PM
Mme Banal has a good point.
Making sure the winery name is in the tasting note is helpful as it will be spelled correctly.
She might try sending phrases in xls for more reusable options for other wines.
Don't forget the personal anecdote about the dog (unless it's a Poodle).
- August 23, 2010 at 3:43 PM
- Tom Johnson said...
Sorry I'm late. Traffic was a bitch.
I heard Samantha was going to bust her bra here. Did I miss it? And if I didn't, have I got time to go get a drink before the show starts?
Also, I'm going to need some singles.
- August 23, 2010 at 5:08 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Becky Banal,
Don't forget to include the recommended scores you want the bloggers to award you! Give them a choice--Double Gold Medal, or 9.0 to 9.5, or 94 points, or some sort of badge, maybe a Girl Scout merit badge. Using their own skills, God knows what kind of rating will emerge. You can't afford that kind of mistake.
I know, every so often the place gets noisy and 50 Comments show up. I didn't read them all, how were they? I hear I have some smart commenters.
The smart bloggers take the empty shippers and go to the nearest winery and ask for their complimentary refill. And you don't dump the wine down the drain unless you know it's bad, which doesn't ever seem to happen.
Yeah, Internet traffic sucks, especially when you don't have any.
- August 23, 2010 at 6:56 PM
Thanks Charlie. I worked hard on that litt'l shindig. Fashizzle.
Ron- I call Boston home so intimidation is my middle name.
Becky– It's called copy and paste.
- August 23, 2010 at 8:17 PM
What bloggers like even more is being told what score the wine they are getting got from the Wine Enthusiast.
- August 23, 2010 at 9:16 PM
- Thad W. said...
After picking up myself from the floor laughing, I returned to my computer to bang out this post, or better put, manifesto: "I am consumer, not blogger". Thanks for the laughs and the inspiration. Keep up the good work making fools of us all!
- August 25, 2010 at 5:38 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Thanks for the kind words. I don't strive to be inspiring. I just rant and rave. What, you don't want me to be nice like Anonymous Whoeverthehellsheis?
OK, you suckered me into reading your post. I usually just delete such blatant plugs, but it's your first time commenting so you get a little freebie. Your post was not bad at all. You made some nice observations.
And don't worry, I'll continue to make fools of us all, but most especially myself.
- August 25, 2010 at 6:20 PM
- Thad W. said...
Ron, in all honesty, this was my second comment, which leads me to believe the first one months ago wasn't all that good. Regardless, I do appreciate you taking the time to read my post. Again, keep up the good work. As every court needs a jester, so does every blogosphere need a HoseMaster. Thank goodness the wine blogosphere has Ron Washam.
- August 25, 2010 at 8:08 PM
- Ron Washam, HMW said...
Oops, my mistake. But dropping in every two months ain't exactly being a regular. Sorry I'd forgotten your earlier visit. Please chime in more often.
I liked this in your post:
"I am in awe of those who approach winegrowing and winemaking as a craft.
I am not impressed with those who are merely pushing a beverage for trade."
Nicely done.
OK, enough of the circle jerking.
- August 26, 2010 at 7:59 AM
- Joe said...
11 readers? Must be nice. You've gotten out of touch with the common poodle, sir. Your assumptions are haughty, at best.
Or maybe this is because I own a blog east of the Mississippi (or "Mississipi" in Alabama...also east of the Mississippi/Mississipi). And I probably don't even own it. Those loanshark bastards at Blogger.
- August 27, 2010 at 7:43 AM
- jenny said...
Next the government will be using google earth to mysteriously get into your wine cellar to see how many bottles you really have.
- September 6, 2010 at 8:19 AM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Just up late, yearning for a wicked smart chuckle....where else would I go.
Missing you HoseMaster
Missing your voice a lot
- September 13, 2010 at 10:57 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Was just talking to a mutual admirer of yours about how much we miss you....just thought you should know that.
- October 20, 2010 at 12:36 AM
- Jason Phelps said...
Very interesting. There is no way I can take offense at any of this since it all boils down to lots of people using technology to project their opinions out into the wild hoping somebody cares. It's damn funny too, so why wouldn't I come back?
This is how I have come to see what I do. Writing about my adventures is just plain fun. I'm not an expert at anything, just living one experience at a time. Drinking wine is enjoyable and taking the time to distinguish it from others feels like a way to better myself. I just can't take it too seriously.
In that vain it probably stands to reason that you should ignore what I just wrote because I am a wine blogger who lives on the East Coast, in New Hampshire of all places! Do they even make wine there?
The fact that I also make wine at home, award winning no less, is also to be ignored because we are a whole other crew of people, amateur winemakers, that think they are the cats ass. I do that for fun too. And when it comes out bad I am the first one to laugh!!!!
I can't wait to come back for new laughs.
Thanks Ron!
- October 29, 2010 at 11:41 AM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Just missing you. Aching for a laugh and the unique family that was born here. Sending you all of my love...My Love.
- December 20, 2010 at 8:44 PM
- Samantha Dugan said...
Just missing you again....
- November 1, 2011 at 3:43 PM


text:
Marvel started shooting "Ant-Man" on Monday in San Francisco.
Maybe they'll cross paths with Godzilla or some of those crazy talking apes and accidentally make the greatest movie of all time.
The film will star Paul Rudd as the title character, one of the original comic book members of "The Avengers," which likely means the character will be folded into that franchise as well. The film will also star Michael Douglas as his mentor, Dr. Hank Pym, and Evangeline Lilly as Pym's daughter, Hope Van Dyne.
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The film is also shooting in Atlanta.
Tony Hicks provides celebrity commentary for the Bay Area News Group. Contact him at Facebook.com/BayAreaNewsGroup.TonyHicks or Twitter.com/tonyhicks67.


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Happy Lunar New Year from The ABCLunar New Year is an important celebration for millions of people all around the world, including many Australians with an Asian heritage. The Lunar New Year is celebrated by many communities, including Chinese, Korean Vietnamese, Tibetan, Mongolian and Japanese (though the date of celebration can vary from country to country).
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Deep-water oil exploration has been disrupted from the Gulf of Mexico to Brazil by the discovery of faulty bolts used in safety equipment less than three years after the worst-ever U.S. maritime crude spill.
Energy explorers such as Chevron Corp., Royal Dutch Shell Plc and Transocean Ltd. said they have been directed by U.S. regulators to suspend work aboard rigs that employ General Electric Co. devices connecting drilling tubes to safety gear and the seafloor. The equipment must be retrieved so defective bolts can be replaced, the U.S. Bureau of Safety and Environmental Enforcement said in an alert issued on Jan. 29.
Installing new bolts and resuming drilling may take as long as three weeks for each rig, Credit Suisse Group AG said. For oil companies paying upwards of $600,000 a day to rent the most-sophisticated deep-water vessels and another $500,000 a day to staff and supply each of them, the delays may be significant, said Craig Pirrong, director of the University of Houston's Global Energy Management Institute.
"This certainly will be costly for the industry," Pirrong said in a telephone interview yesterday. "This is a result of increasing government scrutiny of deep-water activities. The question is, will the increased costs be so onerous that they discourage some companies" from searching the deep oceans for crude.
Lower earnings from the Gulf may be a consequence for service companies due to potential for longer downtime than expected, Bill Herbert, an analyst at Simmons & Co. in Houston, wrote today in a note to investors.
"GE bolt revelations yesterday galvanized the market as Macondo scar tissue sensitivity remains acute," he wrote. "Think of this as a modest tropical storm, albeit in January."
Defect Discovery
The defect was discovered last month after a leak of drilling fluid was linked to bolts that failed because of stress corrosion, according to the Jan. 29 alert. The regulator didn't identify the owner of the rig or which oil company was leasing it. GE declined to identify the manufacturer of the bolts.
Nations with active offshore crude exploration have been alerted to the bolt defects, said Sean Gannon, a spokesman for Fairfield, Connecticut-based GE. In the Gulf of Mexico, 24 of the 83 rigs actively drilling wells at the time of the alert carried connectors that may have flawed bolts, the bureau said. Of those, six rigs have so far been cleared to return to drilling operations.
Global Regulators
"Everyone in the industry is aware of it," Gannon said in an interview yesterday. "We've contacted every customer, global regulators. There's a whole overlapping set of layers where active drilling rigs in particular have been apprised and they're on top of it."
About 30 to 40 GE customers are potentially affected, Gannon said in an e-mail.
Anadarko Petroleum Corp., the second-largest U.S. independent oil and natural gas producer by market value, said it will be swapping out bolts at its Phobos well and a Caesar/Tonga development well.
"We will be able to replace the bolts at the next available stopping point with minimal downtime and no impacts on production," John Christiansen, a spokesman, said today in an e-mail.
Copyright 2014 Bloomberg. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.
Copyright 2014 Bloomberg. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.


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What I'm Learning About AI and the Law From #Legalweek18
It's the defining buzzword of this year's conference, but the legal profession is still parsing what it means and how it will affect what lawyers do. Here are three takeaways.
NEW YORK — At Legalweek 2018, "artificial intelligence" is in the air. It's what all the lawyers want to know about, and what almost all of the dozens of legal technology vendors seem to be offering (better than their competitors, of course).
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Product Description
Title: "Raccoon 19"
Size: ACEO (2.5" x 3.5") - No mat, no frame
Medium: Giclée print - Limited Edition of 25
This ACEO PRINT is signed, titled, dated, and numbered on the back.
What's an ACEO?
It stands for Art Cards Editions and Originals. ACEOs or ATCs (art trading cards) are the size of a baseball card. They are a fun, easy and affordable way to collect original pieces of art. Search ACEO on Ebay for a wide variety of art trading cards.
I do my best to reproduce an image as true to the original as possible with my scanner/camera. Colors may vary from monitor to monitor.
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