text:
There are plenty of catchy tunes out there--lots of great songwriters and I'll probably tackle a list of my favorites there in the future but today I'm giving a nod to the songs whose lyrics are just too fun not to sing along with.
I've combed through my play lists for my favorites but feel free to add any of your own tongue-twisters--all I ask is that you quote them correctly. Easier said than done, right?
1. I Am the Walrus by John Lennon and Paul McCartney 1967 (d'uh). Actually it wasn't written by both Beatles, it was written by Lennon but credit was given to Paul for some reason.
Yellow matter custard, dripping from a dead dog's eye.
Crabalocker fishwife, pornographic priestess,
Boy, you been a naughty girl and you let your Knickers down.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob . . .
Expert texpert choking smokers,
Don't you think the joker laughs at you?
See how they smile like pigs in a sty, see how they snide.
I'm crying.
Semolina Pilchard, climbing up the Eiffel Tower.
Elementary penguin singing Hare Krishna.
Man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe.
I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus,
goo goo g'joob
And plenty more terrific lines. Actually, I could fill this whole list with Beatles songs--how about this beauty from Maxwell's Silver Hammer? "Joan was quizzical, studied metaphysical, science in the home . . . Maxwell Edison, majoring in medicine, calls her on the phone . . ." but I had a hard time including a song where the main character goes on a killing spree with his hammer. This IS a family-friendly blog you know.
2. Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by Jimmy Kennedy 1953. I like the remake that They Might Be Giants did of this tune but whoever is singing the lyrics are hypnotic:
Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Instanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople,
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night.
Tell me you're not singing along.
3. Southern Cross by Crosby, Stills and Nash 1982.
Got out of town on a boat goin' to Southern islands. Sailing a reach before a followin' sea.
She was makin' for the trades on the outside, and the downhill run to Papeete.
Off the wind on this heading lie the Marquesas. We got eighty feet of the waterline. Nicely making way. In a noisy bar in Avalon I tried to call you.
But on a midnight watch I realized why twice you ran away
I LOVE this song. I think it's because it's about sailing and the ocean--I would have included Billy Joel's Downeaster Alexa and Sting's Why Should I Cry? in the list but this isn't a list about ocean songs now is it? Ah, someday I'm going to build a sailboat and sail around the world. Twice.
4. Rapture by Blondie 1981. I'm really including this as a tribute to Grace, my teen daughter who's recently discovered 80s classics. I had to laugh though, I caught her singing along with it:
And out comes a man from Mars
And you try to run but he's got a gun
And he shoots you dead and he eats your head
And then you're in the man from Mars
You go out at night, eatin' cars
You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too
Mercuries and Subarus . . .
But instead of saying "Subarus" she said "Chevroloos." As in "Chevrolets" only "ChevroLOOS." After I stopped laughing I asked her what Chevroloos were and she sheepishly said she didn't know but that it somehow rhymed. Ha! I guess Chevroloo isn't any weirder than Subaru if you think about it.
5. The Codfish Ball by who-knows-who. You'll laugh at me over this but the only reason I'm including it is because it was part of a Shirley Temple movie I watched when I was young and Shirley does this cute little dance to the tune and the words are just as adorable as she is. The kind that stick with even 30 years later apparently. Hey, I'm just delivering some variety, okay?
Lobsters dancing in a row shuffle off to buffalo
Jelly fish sway to and fro at the Codfish ball
Finn-an-haddie leads the eel through an Irish reel
The Catfish is a dancing man but he can't can-can like a sardine can
6. Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths, 1987. The only way to balance the sugary-sweetness of Shirley is to follow it up with the eye-gouging acidity of The Smiths. It was a toss up as to which song of theirs I would include--they have so many light-hearted little ditties--There Is a Light is another of their lovely songs that I find myself singing periodically.
Girlfriend in a coma, I know I know - its serious
Girlfriend in a coma, I know I know - its really serious
And if a double-decker bus crashes into us
To die by your side is such a heavenly way to die
And if a ten-ton truck kills the both of us
To die by your side well, the pleasure - the privilege is mine
Yes, either little tune is a beauty and better than Prozac for what ails you.
7. Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon, 1975. Or, as they joked on the Muppet Show, perhaps it is Fifty Ways to Love Your Leaver? Whichever way you sing it the words are classic, I love the unique drum beat and the catchy words:
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your lover
Fifty ways to leave your lover
You just slip out the back, Jack
Make a new plan, Stan
You don't need to be coy, Roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee
And get yourself free
It's one of the songs Mom used to sing around the house every once in a while--she has quite a repertoire you know. Yea, we're an odd family.
8. Big Rock Candy Mountain by Harry McClintock 1928. A hobo ballad that sings of the longing for utopia as only a hobo could create it:
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains you never change your socks
And the little streams of alcohol come a-trickling down the rocks
The brakemen have to tip their hats and the railroad bulls are blind
There's a lake of stew and of whiskey too
You can paddle all around 'em in a big canoe
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains the jails are made of tin
And you can walk right out again as soon as you are in
There ain't no short handled shovels, no axes saws or picks
I'm a goin to stay where you sleep all day
Where they hung the jerk that invented work
In the Big Rock Candy Mountains
Because we need more songs about free-flowing alcohol, laziness and poor personal hygiene. Well, after songs about girlfriends in comas who am I to criticize?
9. Anything from The Music Man, 1962. Meredith Wilson's musical has the funniest dialog ever in a musical--and though that's not saying much it's still a crack-up. My favorite line? When Mrs. Shin is ranting about smutty literature and--speaking of Omar Khayyam says, "Omar Khy-yi-yi-yi-I am appalled!" Cracks me up every time.
Anyway, the songs have the cleverest lyrics--Rock Island, Trouble, The Sadder but Wiser Girl, Pick a Little Talk a Little, Gary, Indiana, and of course Marion the Librarian all roll like taffy on the tongue.
Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
Let me say it once again.
Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana, Gary, Indiana,
That's the town that "knew me when."
If you'd like to have a logical explanation
How I happened on this elegant syncopation,
I will say without a moment of hesitation
There is just one place that can light my face.
Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana,
Not Louisiana, Paris, France, New York, or Rome, but--
Gary, Indiana,Gary, Indiana, Gary Indiana, my home sweet home.
10. It's the End of the World As We Know It by R.E.M. 1987. I would quote it for you but I couldn't begin to get the words right and would just embarrass myself. If you can sing along I'd be very impressed. VERY impressed. Go ahead, I'll join in on the chorus . . .
11. Rocky Raccoon by John Lennon and Paul McCartney 1968. Written mostly by Paul and released on the White Album this is one of the funniest songs ever--we sing it around here quite a bit because it fits so well with Lillian's name:
Rocky Raccoon checked into his room
Only to find Gideon's bible
Rocky had come equipped with a gun
To shoot off the legs of his rival
His rival it seems had broken his dreams
By stealing the girl of his fancy.
Her name was Magil and she called herself Lil
But everyone knew her as Nancy.
Because if you can't laugh about blood-letting love triangles and drunk doctors what can you laugh at I ask?
12. One Week by Barenaked Ladies . Yes, it's been done to death in the commercials but the lyrics are just as snappy as they come and once you've got it down those words are in the brain for-ev-er.
Chickity china the chinese chicken you have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin
Watchin x-files with no lights on, we're dans la maison I hope the smoking man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting Frantic like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy like Kurasawa I make mad films
Okay I dont make films but if I did they'd have a samurai
Gonna get a set of better clubs gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing . . .
Who says Shakespeare's cornered the market on creativity with the language? If this ain't poetry then I don't know what is. Well, maybe not quite poetry but darn fun to say.
13. We Didn't Start the Fire by Billy Joel, 1989. Where else are you going to get a history lesson AND musical entertainment for the price of one? Wikipedia goes through each reference in the song and explains them--in case you were too young to remember that Russia was once Communist. Actually, that's funny because the other day my kids were asking what the U.S.S.R. was (I believe they were watching Rocky IV) and it took a minute to register in my brain that they didn't know about the Iron Curtain or Cold War. I had to stop and explain it all to them and I marveled in the moment while they shrugged their shoulders and went back to cheering for Rocky. My nostalgia didn't interest them apparently.
Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser and Prokofiev
Rockefeller, Campanella, Communist Bloc
Roy Cohn, Juan Peron, Toscanini, Dancron
Dien Bien Phu Falls, Rock Around the Clock
Einstein, James Dean, Brooklyn's got a winning team
Davy Crockett, Peter Pan, Elvis Presley, Disneyland
Bardot, Budapest, Alabama, Khrushchev
Princess Grace, Peyton Place, Trouble in the Suez
Honorable mentions: Mediate by INXS and Comin' into Los Angeles by Steppenwolf. Though I tend to make sure I'm alone when I'm singing this one ("Comin' into Los Angel-eez, bringing in a couple of keys . . . don't touch my bags if you please, Mr. Customs man . . .").
Technorati tags: Thursday Thirteen, music, lyrics
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Cleverest Song Lyrics
There are plenty of catchy tunes out there--lots of great songwriters and I'll probably tackle a list of my favorites there in the future but today I'm giving a nod to the songs whose lyrics are just too fun not to sing along with.
Email this post Labels: lists
62 comments:
- Zenmomma said...
You're right! There are a lot of songs in there that just HAVE to sing along with. Great list.
- Robin said...
I've always loved Southern Cross, what a great song... We Didn't Start The Fire is a fun one too.
Great list Michelle.
- Irishcoda said...
It always amazes me how some artists can put words together for a song (like I Am the Walrus)...thanks for such a detailed TT!
- Jen at Semantically driven said...
What a great mix of songs you've got there. I love Big Rock Candy Mountain and can sing that and accompany myself with the ukulele. It's on the soundtrack for 'Oh Brother Where Art Thou' which is a fabulous film.
- Hootin' Anni said...
Anything having to do with music has my attention. I DO know that I'm gonna be singing #13 all day now.
My 13 movie stills is shared for T-13 this week. Come by if you can.
- Caffienated Cowgirl said...
Oh, the Barenaked Ladies...they have the best lyrics!
- Adventures In Babywearing said...
I CAN actually sing along to It's The End Of The World As We Know It...
- Picturing of Life said...
I love Beatles also :D
Will you visit mine Thanks
- SuburbanCorrespondent said...
You are one eclectic gal...
- marcia said...
.I loved this post so many memories love th BNL"S and I too know all the words to Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover by Paul Simon I had good friends Roy and Gus at the time so we sang it to them all the time
- Chris said...
I love so many of those ones, but I Am the Walrus is just weird. Did you see Across the Universe? Loved that movie and the soundtrack.
You should hear Great Big Sea's version of End of the World- it's twice as fast.
Awesome list!
- Megan (FriedOkra) said...
Whooo. Those are all great tunes! And Don Henley's American Pie, too.
- Marie N. said...
I'll never forget my little brother, at the time about 8 years old, singing The Sadder But Wiser Girl For Me.
I do sing along to most on your list, and the kids love They Might be Giants's version of Istanbul.
I'm also singing along with the Oak Ridge Boys Y'all Come Back Saloon whenever I hear it (hmmm I have not heard it is a very long time, so why is it still ringing in my head?)
- Tim Appleton (Applehead) said...
This post is why you're in my RSS. We start singing #10 when the kids are whining. Gary, Indiana is also stuck in my head now, thank you, Shipoopie
- Adelle said...
Quite a few of my favs in your list. Great idea. Happy T13!
- Darla said...
Now those are some amazing lyrics! Great songs, too. I just had The Music Man on last week while fixing breakfast, so Gary, Indiana is playing in my head now... with a very young Ron Howard singing it with a lisp. :)
- Yes, my name is Arizona said...
LOVE this post! Rapture by Blondie was my favorite song for such a long time. I love the lyrics. I was also a huge Morrissey and Smiths fan, so Girlfriend In A Coma was a favorite. Love BNL, too.
- Edi said...
The song I was thinking of this morning with odd lyrics, before I even read your post, was "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road".
A couple of weeks ago we had supper with an "elderly" couple and they entertained us in part by playing some old RECORDS - one being "Dead Skunk"...so that is what came to my mind when I saw a dead squirrel on the side of the road during my morning jog :)
- G's Cottage said...
This is definitely an interesting list of songs. I did have to add an "amen, sister," to edi's mention of "Dead Skunk in the Middle of the Road." Yeah, welcome to spring in Ohio.
- ames said...
I *love* this list! There are only like one or two that I don't know by heart, and now they're all stuck in my head, tyvm. Big Rock Candy Mountain is one of my favorite songs, I want to learn to play it on the guitar.
Time to go listen to some Beatles and Paul Simon...
- Mayberry said...
Dating myself here ... but in college a couple of my friends spent DAYS deciphering It's the End of the World As We Know It. Consequently I really can sing along ...
Leonid Brezhnev Lenny Bruce and Lester Banks
Birthday party cheesecake jellybean BOOM!
- Heather said...
That was fun reading.
Love me some Simon and Garfunkel.
The song that came to mind for me was "I just died in your arms" I've never quite gotten that song.
- Scribbit said...
Okay I have to pipe in here and say really? To the Dead Skunk comments. My Dad used to sing "You gotcha dead ol' skunk in the middle of the road, you gotcha dead ol' skunk in the middle of the road. [pause] And what's he doing? Stinkin' to high heaven!"
I always thought the man was looney and/or poorly trained in putting together song lyrics. I had no idea it was a real song.
- Amber M. said...
GREAT list, Michelle. I sang along...AND giggled, too.
- Tara said...
brilliant list!
- Jordan (MamaBlogga) said...
@Michelle—My mom used to sing it, too, and was adamant that it was a real song. I didn't believe her until I actually heard it on the radio. And yes, as far as I know, those ARE the words (I know that "stinkin' to high heaven" is in the song.)
But don't forget "Come Together"! I know all the lines to that song, but I will NEVER get them in order. Here come old flat top.
- MileHighMommy said...
Fantastic! These songs take me back! I LOVE Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire!". It came out when I was in high school...and I listened to it over and over again until I could write the words out in my journal. The video was cool too...back when MTV still played videos - remember?
- Roses Are Red, Violets are Violet said...
I'm chuckling because, as I was reading your post, I kept coming up with songs..."Rapture!" then I'd scroll down and there it was... then I thought "We Didn't Start the Fire!" and, lo and behold, you have that one, too! I'm all out! LOL
No, I'll think of one and get back to ya!
- unsinkable said...
Oh my gosh! I am going to have to find my Smiths CASSETTE tapes!
- Roses Are Red, Violets are Violet said...
OK, I'm back already!
A Roger Miller tune I used to have on my blog:
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
Ya can't roller skate in a buffalo herd
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
Ya can't take a shower in a parakeet cage.... (repeated)
But you can be happy if you've a mind to
All ya gotta do is put your mind to it Knuckle down, buckle down, do it, do it, do it
- kawaii crafter said...
Just love the song Rocky Raccoon. My father would sing this song while playing his guitar and harmonica. What fond memories. Thanks for taking me back.
- Anonymous said...
I was just reading another Alaska blog which mentioned the song Southern Cross. It is about a young Kodiak family's sailing journey from Alaska to Australia (wiht a one year old onboard!). It's called SailboatPelagic on blogspot. I think I got the name correct. The blogger said he thought of that song as they got ever more South on their trip. Nancy in Palmer
- An Ordinary Mom said...
They Might Be Giants, Music Man, R.E.M., "We Didn't Start the Fire" - fabulous list! I once had one of my classes research the lyrics of that Billy Joel song. It was very interesting!
- Mrs. Annie said...
The sad thing here is, that now they play some of those great songs in the grocery store. Then you find yourself singing (not humming) along. Your children, whose meter for coolness is completely different from yours, gasp, mumble, and attempt to leave the aisle you are in, thus avoiding any shame. Sigh. My coolness meter has hit an all time low.
- Denise Patrick said...
I only know one song on your list - 50 Ways to Leave your Lover. Although, I've been to the "Big Rock Candy Mountain" (yes there is such a place - but it's not made of candy) but never heard the song.
Happy TT!
- MommyTime said...
I actually had to look up the "I am the Walrus" lyrics because although I "know" this song, I thought you were joking about the actual lyrics. In my head, the words always made much more sense. Perhaps the only time in the history of song lyrics that my mistakes made MORE sense than the originals...
- Lisa said...
There are songs you've mentioned that I haven't thought of in YEARS. What a great idea. (She says as Instanbul keeps repeating in her mind!)
- MamaGeek said...
What an awesome collection! The Beatles, the Smiths, love 'em all.
- {Karla} said...
Best T13 Ever!
I so loved reading all of these lyrics. (Mine was about music too)
xo ~K
- Sarah Jewel said...
Don't forget about Hairdress on Fire by The Smiths!
GREAT list there, Michelle!
- Heffalump said...
My Dad plays guitar and sings and the Dead Skunk in the middle of the road song was one he sang whenever we passed anything smelly when we were on a drive.
Some of my childhood favorites are Magneto and Titanium Man by Paul McCartney and the Wings (we still sing it at family gatherings sometimes) Smackwater Jack by Carole King, OblaDiOblaDa by the Beatles...
Jason Mraz is very clever with song lyrics, although some of his music is not very suitable so we pick and choose songs to download.
- Lisa said...
The End of the World as We Know It reminds me of walking through Madrid late at night with several fellow youth hostellers. One guy was a little inebriated and he was singing (shouting) that song into the night. I did feel like the end of the world as I knew it.
Also, John Lithgow sings The Codfish Ball on his Singin in the Bathtub CD. My kids love it.
- Gray Matters said...
I grew up on REM:
That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and
snakes, an aeroplane and Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn - world
serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs. Feed
it off an aux speak, grunt, no, strength, the Ladder
start to clatter with fear fight down height. Wire
in a fire, representing seven games, and a government
for hire at a combat site. Left of west and coming in
a hurry with the furys breathing down your neck. Team
by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered cropped.
Look at that low playing. Fine, then. Uh oh,
overflow, population, common food, but it'll do to Save
yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs,
listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and
the revered and the right, right. You vitriolic,
patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it.
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.
Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign
towers. Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself
churn. Lock it in, uniforming, book burning, blood
letting. Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate.
Light a candle, light a motive. Step down, step down.
Watch your heel crush, crushed, uh-oh, this means no
fear cavalier. Renegade steer clear! A tournament,
tournament, a tournament of lies. Offer me solutions,
offer me alternatives and I decline.
The other night I dreamt of knives, continental
drift divide. Mountains sit in a line, Leonard
Bernstein. Leonid Brezhnev, Lenny Bruce and Lester
Bangs. Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom! You
symbiotic, patriotic, slam bug net, right? Right.
- Debo said...
Great lyrics! I have the Instanbul/Constantinople stuck in my head. I always think of Wooster and Jeeves when this song pops up.
- gretchen from lifenut said...
Great list!
The Smiths (and solo Morrissey) are always dependable lyricists.
"Shoplifters of the world!/Unite and take over!"
"Sheila take a/Sheila take a bow/boot the grime of this world in the crotch, dear..."
"I am the son and the heir/of the shyness that is criminally vulgar/I am the son and heir of nothing in particular..."
I could go on and on. Sigh. I just wrote a comment on another blog about what a cheery teenager I was. Not.
- beth - total mom haircut said...
Well, if you're going to include the Smiths then I'll have to comment!
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls are bigger than others
Some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers!
- J at www.jellyjules.com said...
I always kinda liked the Beatles lyric (or was it Paul?), "I had a cup of tea and a butter pie. A butter pie? The butter wouldn't melt so I put it in the pie."
Also, bare naked ladies, "If I had a Million dollars" is a good one.
- Nicholas said...
Very good collection, but how could you leave out Cole Porter??
- Sonja said...
Dang! I take my hat off to you and your clever song lyric gathering ability. I love that you included songs of varying genre. This was a very fun list to read. :)
Have you heard Grandma's Lye Soap or I'm My Own Grandpa?
Oldies, but goodies.
- Shalee said...
FYI: Billy Joel singing We Didn't Start The Fire in concert was FABULOUS! (He can usually count on his band to help out with words, but when they produced that one, his guitarist said, "Don't even look at me for the words. You're on your own."
- Anonymous said...
Speaking of The Smiths, and sitting here with my hair haphazardly pinned up in a butterfly clip, my favorite lyrics are from Morrissey's "Hairdresser on Fire."
Can you squeeze me
Into an empty page of your diary
And psychologically save me
I've got faith in you
I sense the power
Within the fingers
Within an hour the power
Could totally destroy me
(Or, it could save my life)
- MommyK said...
What??!! Istanbul was NOT a TMG original? Meh. Anyway, my kids both love it. TMBG rules.
And can I just say, I went staright to iTunes this morning to download We Didn't Start The Fire?
- Pieces said...
Wow, great list. It must have taken forever to put together. I just love that Billy Joel song--it always gives me goose bumps.
- AlaneM said...
Wow, back in time baby! Love this list - fun tunes with fun lyrics - what more could ya want?
- pussreboots said...
I'm sorry I missed your post yesterday. I LOVE your song list. You've listed so many of my favorites. Happy belated TT.
- Janet said...
I love the Southern Cross, and the Downeaster Alexa. I've always wanted to sail too. I've been a few times, enough to know what I'm doing. I'll let someone else build the boat though - I just want to sail it!
- Theresa said...
You had me singing along with each and every tune. Nice job. PS I missed seeing you in Anchorage over the weekend. I'll e-mail some observations from the blogging panel when I get a chance. Happy Spring, which seems to finally be here.
- Jordan (MamaBlogga) said...
Oh, I forgot the best ones EVAR: Gilbert and Sullivan. Come on, you know you're the very model of a modern major general. And bonus points for using hypotenuse (double for making it rhyme!). This famous example is just one of dozens of great tongue twisty cleverness:
I am the very model of a modern Major-General,
I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical
From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical;
I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical,
I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical,
About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news,
With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse.
I'm very good at integral and differential calculus;
I know the scientific names of beings animalculous:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's;
I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox,
I quote in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus,
In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous;
I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies,
I know the croaking chorus from The Frogs of Aristophanes!
Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore,
And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore.
Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform,
And tell you ev'ry detail of Caractacus' uniform:
In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
In fact, when I know what is meant by "mamelon" and "ravelin",
When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle[*] from a javelin,
When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at,
And when I know precisely what is meant by "commissariat",
When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery,
When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery—
In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy—
You'll say a better Major-General has never sat a-gee.
For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury,
Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century;
But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral,
I am the very model of a modern Major-General.
- Jordan (MamaBlogga) said...
Confession: source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_General's_Song
- Bella Modiste said...
1,8, and We didnt start the fire are great. I am the Walrus is a new favorite after just watching "Across the Universe" great movie!
~The Bella Modiste
- clips with lyrics said...
"Istanbul was Constantinople
Now it's Instanbul, not Constantinople
Been a long time gone, Constantinople,
Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night."
heyy, i live in istanbul :)
- Anonymous said...
that is definitely what I was searching for, You have saved me alot of time


text:
Functional dependencies
From HaskellWiki
Functional dependencies are used to constrain the parameters of type classes. They let you state that in a multi-parameter type class, one of the parameters can be determined from the others, so that the parameter determined by the others can, for example, be the return type but none of the argument types of some of the methods.
The GHC Users Guide has a Functional Dependencies section.
1 Examples
Suppose you want to implement some code to perform simple linear algebra:
data Vector = Vector Int Int deriving (Eq, Show) data Matrix = Matrix Vector Vector deriving (Eq, Show)
You want these to behave as much like numbers as possible. So you might start by overloading Haskell's Num class:
instance Num Vector where Vector a1 b1 + Vector a2 b2 = Vector (a1+a2) (b1+b2) Vector a1 b1 - Vector a2 b2 = Vector (a1-a2) (b1-b2) {- ... and so on ... -} instance Num Matrix where Matrix a1 b1 + Matrix a2 b2 = Matrix (a1+a2) (b1+b2) Matrix a1 b1 - Matrix a2 b2 = Matrix (a1-a2) (b1-b2) {- ... and so on ... -}
The problem comes when you want to start multiplying quantities. You really need a multiplication function which overloads to different types:
(*) :: Matrix -> Matrix -> Matrix (*) :: Matrix -> Vector -> Vector (*) :: Matrix -> Int -> Matrix (*) :: Int -> Matrix -> Matrix {- ... and so on ... -}
How do we specify a type class which allows all these possibilities?
We could try this:
class Mult a b c where (*) :: a -> b -> c instance Mult Matrix Matrix Matrix where {- ... -} instance Mult Matrix Vector Vector where {- ... -}
That, however, isn't really what we want. As it stands, even a simple expression like this has an ambiguous type unless you supply an additional type declaration on the intermediate expression:
m1, m2, m3 :: Matrix (m1 * m2) * m3 -- type error; type of (m1*m2) is ambiguous (m1 * m2) :: Matrix * m3 -- this is ok
After all, nothing is stopping someone from coming along later and adding another instance:
instance Mult Matrix Matrix (Maybe Char) where {- whatever -}
You can express this by specifying a functional dependency, or fundep for short:
class Mult a b c | a b -> c where (*) :: a -> b -> c
Fundeps have lots more uses than just implementing C++-style function overloading, of course. See the paper by Mark P. Jones for further details.
Fundeps are not standard Haskell 98. (Nor are multi-parameter type classes, for that matter.) They are, however, supported at least in GHC and Hugs and will almost certainly end up in Haskell'.
2 Another example
The following example makes use of the FlexibleInstances, MultiParamTypeClasses and FunctionalDependencies GHC extensions.
-- Read as: "container" type determines "elem" type. class Extract container elem | container -> elem where extract :: container -> elem
The functional dependency "container -> elem" promises that we won't declare multiple instances with the same "container" type.
instance Extract (a,b) a where extract (x,_) = x
Because of the functional dependency we can't have the previous instance *and* this one:
-- instance Extract (a,b) b where ...
Because of the functional dependency we can say:
v = extract ('x', 3)
v :: Char
Without the functional dependency, both instances above would be allowed, and the type of v would be potentially ambiguous. Even if only one instance is defined, the type system will not figure it out without the functional dependency.
3 Tutorials
- Fun with functional dependencies, Thomas Hallgren (2001)
- Type-Level Instant Insanity, Conrad Parker (2007)

subset: commoncrawl


text:
Posted on November 14, 2012
Now, I understand the problem, kippered kiwi fruit. I do not specifically state in my phone message nor on the website that the Book Fair does not want large appliances. Obviously, I should have.
"Do you take refrigerators?" the lady asked the picker-upper.
This particular pick-up had involved over thirty-seven boxes of books, half of which were on the second floor. This particular pick-up driver, having hauled all the boxes, loaded them into his vehicle, and then heard this question, SAYS he replied, "No, but thanks for the offer, Ma'am." I have no particular reason to disbelieve his account. I should like to think I would have made the same response.
It is impossible, of course, to list all the things we do not take. First, the list would go on and on. Second, no matter how long it went on, I would be bound to leave something out. Some angry donor would say, "Well, it doesn't say you don't take stuffed polar bears holding cans of candy canes. It just says 'No Polar Bears'. How was I supposed to know?"
So let's work on a few ground rules here, just some parameters within which you can draw your own conclusions. Although even here, we could make exceptions, just assume that in general:
If it won't fit in the car, we don't want it. If it had been the old dorm room sized refrigerator, we might have given it some thought, but many of our picker-uppers aren't prepared to strap donations to the top of the vehicle. Yes, there are a few ultra-rare books that stand taller than six feet, and yes, if you have a globe from 1789 that is fifteen feet across, there's a chance we'll be interested. But those won't go to the Book Fair anyhow, so let's just make the basic suggestion that you should keep them at home until you can rent a truck.
If it must be fed or watered, we don't want it. We have nothing against your house plants, your gerbils, or your beagle, but that is not the business we're in. We do not want your firstborn, thirdborn, or sixteenthborn child, nor do we want your ex or that bum your granddaughter is dating. Remember, we price things and pack them away in boxes for months, so it wouldn't…no, we STILL won't take your ex.
If it is damaged beyond use, we don't want it. I recall a charity sale in my hometown where one of the volunteers wished she could get hold of all the people who donated buttonfly jeans with all the buttonholes torn. I don't know whether she wanted revenge for a useless donation or just wanted to hear the story of the jeans. But some of what she said—which I doubt they'll let me print here—goes for those of you who donate videocassettes with part of the case broken off, volumes of Bolivian poetry so water-damaged that they won't open, and booklights without bulbs.
If it is illegal to sell, keep it. I'm not thinking so much of those preview videos Warner Brothers sent when you were running the neighborhood video store, but of things like brass knuckles or those stripped books you got for a nickel at the corner store. (These are the ones where the store ripped off the covers to send to the distributor to prove they'd destroyed those books that didn't sell.) If I can't sell it, what use is it to me? (Yeah, I suppose I could use the brass knuckles. If unconscious donors start turning up under banana boxes in the bushes by the Newberry, we haven't had this little talk.)
These are enough guidelines for now, but it can't be a complete list. I also don't want your buttonfly jeans—with or without tears—or your reading glasses or your bedroom slippers. We'll consider your bookends, paperweights, and inkwells, though, and I'd like to send a personal note to the person who donated the deck of naughty playing cards: you can send more of those any time. I'll swap you a refrigerator.


text:
I missed Canada Day by a few days. So here's wishing all you Americans out there a happy Fourth of July. The earliest Fourth of July I have any clear memory of was probably 1973 or '74 in Nairobi. We went to the American embassy -- the same one that al Quaeda blew up many year later -- and hung out with bunches of other American ex-pats who lived in Kenya at the time. My mom and dad weren't much for hanging out exclusively with other Americans, as were many of the Americans who lived there. So I can't remember ever seeing any of those people again. But they had fireworks and watermelon and hot dogs. I remember learning that the closest equivalent to a hot dog you could get in Kenya was a Vienna sausage and that they were not pre-cooked as were the ones you got in the States. So you couldn't just go into the 'fridge, grab a hot dog and eat it cold.
When I lived in Japan I never bothered with any of the Fourth of July celebrations put on by the embassy. I tended to avoid contact with most Americans living there since they were generally kind of disgusting people. Loud, obnoxious, drunk. Wooo-hoooo!!! Look at me!!!! I can drink beer on the street and make a lot of noise!!!!!! Nobody stops me!!!!! Yacccccchhhhhhhh!!!!
Not my kind of crowd, really.
The Fourth of July before I went to Japan, which must've been 1992, I was attacked on the street for no reason. That kinda made me decide it was time to get out of the country.
Today I'm s'posta go to my friend Greg's swimming pool in North Hollywood and hang around. That sounds like fun.
When I went to Japan I was completely disgusted with the USA and wanted nothing to do with it ever again. Now I don't feel like that. The USA has some good points. For one thing you can eat hot dogs right out of the 'fridge. Though I don't eat hot dogs anymore and I guess it wouldn't matter if you ate a raw soy dog anyway.
Interesting diff between Japan and America: In Japan, fireworks displays are an on-going thing all Summer long. Sometimes they're tied in with holidays like O-bon. But sometimes they just decide to have one on some random weekend night. But over here we only do fireworks on one particular day.
The graphic today is from a CD I bought yesterday by a local Los Angeles experimental duo called "ing". Apparently they put out a new CD every month. I love the cover of this one and bought it having no idea what the music would be like. I still haven't listened to it.


text:
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Existing-Home Sales Inch Forward in January, Price Growth Accelerates
WASHINGTON (February 23, 2016) — Existing-home sales crept forward in January to the highest annual rate in six months, and subpar supply levels propelled price growth to the fastest increase since last April, according to the National Association of Realtors®. The West was the only region to see a decline in sales in January.
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The Numbers Are In: Yup, 2016 Is Off to a Good Start in Home Sales
We may be on the verge of spring, but housing and economic reports work on a bit of a lag time. We've only just gotten the major data reports for January, and it's giving us a clear-eyed view of how the real estate market is measuring up this year. And yeah, things are looking good.
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The homeownership rate in the fourth quarter 2015 was 63.8 percent, down 0.2 (+/- 0.4)* percentage points from the fourth quarter 2014 rate of 64.0 percent. The homeownership rates in the Northeast, Midwest, South and West were not statistically different from the rates in the fourth quarter 2014.
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text:
Junior outfielder Michelle Foster had four hits and scored the game-winning run in the second game as Goldey-Beacom College (10-28, 6-16) earned a split of its Central Atlantic Collegiate Conference doubleheader against Caldwell College (33-8, 21-3) at the Jackson Athletic Complex on Saturday afternoon.
Junior outfielder Michelle Foster had four hits and scored the game-winning run in the second game as Goldey-Beacom College (10-28, 6-16) earned a split of its Central Atlantic Collegiate Conference doubleheader against Caldwell College (33-8, 21-3) at the Jackson Athletic Complex on Saturday afternoon.
Foster hails from Overbrook High School in West Berlin, N.J.
After dropping a 12-1 decision in a five-inning affair in the first game, the Lightning snapped an 18-game losing streak by rallying to post a 2-1 victory in the nightcap. It was the Lightning?s first win since Mar. 30 against Post.
The Cougars took a 1-0 lead in the top of the second inning of the second game when a throwing error by junior Ashley Zaccaria (Gloucester City H.S./Gloucester City, N.J.) allowed sophomore Alyssa Calderon (Etiwanda H.S./Fontana, Calif.) to score.
But, the Lightning answered in the bottom of the second inning when senior Ashley Antosh (Twin Valley H.S./Honey Brook, Pa.) tied the game with a sacrifice fly to right field that scored sophomore Samantha Alonzo (Roy C. Ketcham H.S./Wappinger Falls, N.Y.) for the tying run.
In the bottom of the third inning, the Lightning took the lead at 2-1 when a sacrifice fly by sophomore Asia Ellis (Lenape H.S./Marlton, N.J.) allowed Foster to score for the one-run advantage.
From there, junior Courtney Dolson (Gloucester H.S./Gloucester, N.J.) held Caldwell to just one hit over the final four innings en route to her second victory of the season. Dolson, who improved to 2-9 with the win, scattered three hits and allowed just one unearned run.
In the first game, the Cougars exploded for five runs on four hits in the first inning to take a commanding 5-0 lead. After freshman Brielle Reighn (Triton Regional H.S./Runnemeade, N.J.) gave the Cougars a 1-0 edge with a single to right center field, Calderon added an RBI double to right field to increase the margin to 2-0.
After a triple from senior Dia Cascone (Susan E. Wagner H.S./Staten Island, N.Y.) extended the Caldwell cushion to 4-0, sophomore Briana Gaspich drove in a run with a ground out to make it a 5-0 game.
The Lightning trimmed the deficit to 5-1 in the bottom of the first inning after junior Roni Peters (Leonardtown H.S./Leonardtown, Md.) scored on a throwing error.
However, the Cougars scored seven unanswered runs over the next two innings to claim a 12-1 lead they did not relinquish.
Reighn led the Cougars to the victory in the first game by going 3-for-4 with two runs scored and three runs batted in. Meanwhile, Cascone added three runs batted in while collecting two hits with a pair of runs scored.
In leading the Lightning to the doubleheader sweep, Foster also moved into seventh place on the Lightning?s all-time hits list and now has 119 hits in her college career. Peters also added two hits in the doubleheader.
The Lightning, who have earned 9 of their 10 wins this season at home, will continue a six-game homestand on Sunday afternoon by hosting Chestnut Hill College in a CACC doubleheader beginning at 12 p.m.
Meanwhile, the Cougars, who have lost four of their last five games after a school-record 27-game win streak, will host Pace University in a non-conference doubleheader on Sunday at 12 p.m.


text:
A stop at a roadside park in Hennessey, Oklahoma reveals a lot about both bird and human behavior.
A beautiful park located just off of highway 281 in Hennessey, Oklahoma often serves as a rest stop for my wife and I on the way back to Pratt from our church's temple in Oklahoma City. A half or so hour break at Bull Foot Park provides an opportunity to stretch our legs on the half or so mile sidewalk path that encircles a pond.
Among the park's attractions are a life-sized metal, silhouette sculpture of a cattle drive, a fountain shooting streams of water into the air from the pond, a children's playground area, and clean restrooms with warm water, even in the winter. The pond also has a more or less resident population of Canada geese and other waterfowl, primarily ducks.
Last weekend, we brought a loaf of bread, too long in the freezer, with us for our visit to the park. Little did we anticipate how our attempt to share this bounty would create discord.
A family of 10 or so resident geese eyed us warily as we veered off the trail and approached them. Perhaps feeding geese was not a popular pastime in Hennessey. We stopped at a safe distance, broke the bread into small pieces, and tossed it to the birds from a couple of different locations. After this, we walked a safe distance away to observe. We watched one Canada goose, began running full throttle toward the others, extending its neck forward and cackling as it as it chased several of the others away. This bird seemed to be The Boss, if it could be said that a gaggle of geese have one. Several smaller geese remained on the outer fringes of the group, mindful of The Boss and timidly eating the bread. The larger geese headed straight for the bread but often had to pay the price for this. In several instances, The Boss charged full speed ahead and nipped the unsuspecting victim on its tail feathers, causing it to leap into the air.
I realize that this was probably normal behavior for a male goose (possibly) in the middle of spring nesting season. That's one hypothesis, anyway. On the other hand, I couldn't help but think of others, human even, who behave just like this goose, bullying others who are only trying to get by in life and may be and are unexpectedly sideswiped in the process. We don't have to look too far, perhaps just outside our back window, to see how the natural world often imitates human behavior, both good and bad. I still remember the mother Robin in our backyard last summer. One of her charge had fallen to the ground from a nearby tree before developing flying skills. After turning on the water to our garden, I watched off and on through the back window that summer evening as mother Robin dropped down from her clothesline pole perch and fed her young repeatedly throughout the evening. The next morning both were no longer visible within our chain-link fenced yard.


text:
4:00 pm,
October 2, 2012
Administration building, room 20
Resume Writing Workshop
An effective resume is one of the most important documents you'll need for your job search - or even grad school and voluntary service. This workshop will provide you with the basics of resume writing and show you how to strengthen your own draft.
Space is limited, online registration required at www.goshen.edu/resumeworkshop.
Contact: Liz Fisher, phone 574-535-7547, email email@example.com
See also: Online Registration


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This is an activity about electromagnetism. Learners will set up a simple circuit using a battery, wire, and knife switch, and then use a compass to map the magnetic field lines surrounding the wire. Next, they will add a coil of wire to the simple... (View More) circuit and map the magnetic fields again. This is the second lesson in the second session of the Exploring Magnetism teachers guide. (View Less)
This is a lesson about magnetism in solar flares. Learners will map magnetic fields around bar magnets and investigate how this configuration relates to magnetic fields of sunspots. This activity requires compasses, bar magnets, and a equipment for... (View More) the instructor to project a PowerPoint or pdf lecture presentation. This is Activity 1 in the Exploring Magnetism in Solar Flares teachers guide. (View Less)
Materials Cost: $5 - $10 per group of students
This is an activity about vectors and velocity. It outlines the addition and subtraction of vectors, and introduces the application of trigonometry to describing vectors. The resource is designed to support student analysis of THEMIS (Time History... (View More) of Events and Macroscale Interactions during Substorms) Magnetometer line-plot data. Learners will complete worksheets consisting of problem sets that allow them to work with vector data in magnetic fields. This is activity 15 from Exploring Magnetism: Earth's Magnetic Personality. (View Less)
Materials Cost: Free
This is an activity about the properties and characteristics of Earth's magnetic field as shown through magnetometer data and its 3D vector nature. This resource builds understanding of conceptual tools such as the addition of vectors and... (View More) interpreting contour maps displaying magnetic signature data. Learners will make several paper 3D vector addition models, watch podcasts on how to analyze magnetometer data, and employ 3D vector plots to create a model of the 3D magnetic field in the location of the magnetometer closest to their town. This is a multi-step activity with corresponding worksheets for each step. The activity uses data from the THEMIS (Time History of Events and Macroscale Interactions during Substorms) GEONS magnetometer, and requires the use of a computer with internet access and speakers, 2-inch polystyrene balls and bamboo skewers. This is activity 16 from Exploring Magnetism: Earth's Magnetic Personality. (View Less)
Materials Cost: $1 - $5 per group of students


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This widget displays team Basilica of St. Mary, Minneapolis total dollar and CO2 savings, and automatically updates as the savings grow.
Spread the word about the Minnesota Energy Challenge on your website or blog with a widget.
You can publish a widget anywhere you can publish HTML. Just select a size, grab the code, and paste into your HTML editor. Widgets are automatically updated with savings information.
Publish a widget on your website or blog and spread the word about your Minnesota Energy Challenge savings.
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text:
Me & Steve Jobs: Three Degrees of Separation
Today I'm headed for Bonn, Germany where I will lead a one-day zazen thing at the San Bo Dojo. I hear it's a sell-out crowd. But if you stand around outside in the rain and wait, maybe I'll wave to you as I pass by in my limousine.
OK. It's actually a pretty small room that couldn't hold very many people.
The following day, Sunday, I will lead another one-day zazen thing in Amsterdam at the Against The Stream center there. As far as I know there are still spots available. You'll get higher from zazen than you can at the coffee shops and have more bliss than in the red light district!
The day after that, Monday, I'm speaking at the Against The Stream center in Rotterdam. That's just a talk. No zazen required. So you must be there.
I had a great talk in Nijmegen, Netherlands last night. Thank you to everyone who showed up!
For more info on my upcoming dates in Germany, France, England and Belgium go the this link.
* * * * *
I was sad to hear about the death of Steve Jobs. I never really followed his career. But I am a long-time user of Apple products. I am typing this on my MacBook. Apples were the first computers I ever used. I never have been able to find my way around Windows very well.
Just after Jobs died I started hearing people say stuff like, "Did you know he was a Buddhist?" I thought that was sort of interesting. I figured maybe he was into Tibetan Buddhism or possibly Sokka Gakkai. Whenever you hear that someone famous is "into Buddhism" that's usually what it means.
Then a Facebook friend of mine named Austin Conquest sent me a link titled The Zen of Steve Jobs. It was from CNN, so I figured by "Zen" they meant just something vaguely Eastern and spiritual. Although I, myself, have been on CNN. So perhaps I should give them more credit. It's just that mainstream news sources rarely get any of this stuff right.
Lo and behold, the article is actually about the Zen of Steve Jobs! And what's more, Jobs wasn't just into any old Zen dude. His teacher was Kobun Chino Roshi! Kobun was the teacher of my first Zen teacher, Tim McCarthy. So there you go. Three degrees of separation between me and Steve Jobs. Me > Tim > Kobun > Steve Jobs!
The CNN piece also references a hilarious graphic novel about Jobs' relationship with Kobun. Check out the four pages they show you at that link! Kobun apparently was a mix of Yoda from Star Wars and the Zen master from the old Kung Fu TV series starring David Carradine. I never knew!*
Aw. I shouldn't be mean. I know. It's great that a guy like Kobun gets any recognition from the mainstream at all. I guess you gotta present Zen in this way in a comic book since you have to explain so much in such a small space. I'll probably buy the book. UNLESS THE PUBLISHERS WANT TO SEND ME A FREE COPY TO REVIEW. Which I will do if I get one. Write me at firstname.lastname@example.com and I'll send you my address.
* This scene supposedly takes place in Tassajara. Where, in Tassajara, is there a rock and an open field like that? And why does Kobun suggest they go to Denny's? That would require that they drive up 14 miles of dirt road at roughly 10 mph just to get to the nearest paved road. From there they'd need to drive another hour or so to get to Carmel Valley. I'm not sure if there's a Denny's there. But my guess is there probably isn't or that there wasn't one in 1986, even if there is one now. So that means another hour and half drive to Monterrey. Double that for the drive back. That's a lot of work for a sundae. And there's probably some decent left-overs in the walk-in fridge next to the kitchen.


text:
The whole teacher/student thing is interesting to watch. At a big residential place like San Francisco Zen Center (SFZC) where I've been staying for the past week or so, it's vital to keep some clear lines of demarcation between teachers and students. The rakusus (little bib-like thingies you get when you receive the Buddhist precepts) are color coded so that you instantly know who here is a priest, who is a lay person and who has dharma transmission. Blue is for lay people, black for non-transmitted priests and brown is for transmitted teachers. Only priests can wear an o-kesa (the sash-like thingy over your shoulder), though other people can wear robes. And non-black o-kesas are a big no-no for anyone not having received transmission. There are written rules for how these various levels should interact. If you want to keep a large scale residential practice center operating smoothly, it's nearly impossible to avoid some variation on this kind of practice.
It's very different, though, from the way I came through the ranks. Even in the matter of rakusus, Nishijima Sensei's policy has always been that whatever color you like is fine. In his lineage anyone can take the precepts, and anyone who does so he considers to be a monk. There's no division between a lay person and a priest. Everyone is encouraged to wear o-kesas, though even I seldom do (sorry, sensei!). Dharma transmission is a different matter. You don't just get that cuz you ask for it as is the case with the precepts. But this too is handled more loosely than it is at SFZC. In Nishijima's line there are no specific steps you must complete before being eligible for transmission. It's more a matter of how Nishijima Sensei or one of his dharma heirs feels about your ability to understand the teaching and practice.
In the worldwide Zen community you'll find all sorts of variations from super tight Soto-shu style which makes even SFZC's style look like a cakewalk, to super loose teachers who make Nishijima's style look like pure Japanese authoritarianism.
In my own case I have been avoiding calling anyone who studies with me "my student." I remember dealing with one Zen teacher who, the very minute he got his robes and started teaching, was all "my student" this and "my student" that. He seemed to cram those words into everything he said just to make sure you knew he had students. It was comical, I tell ya! Maybe that's where my aversion comes from. But casting my mind back to days gone by I'm hard pressed to think of a single instance when my first teacher, Tim, ever called anyone his student. And I can only think of a few times I've heard Nishijima Sensei say it either -- though he does not avoid the word entirely like I do.
The usual teacher/student relationship involves authority and power. As such it can easily be perverted. In fact it seems that it requires great care just to keep such relationships from getting weird right from the get-go.
Anyway. Even once I start giving the precepts to people I will still won't consider any of them "my students." They'll still just be my zazen buddies, like some people have drinking buddies or golf buddies. Please do me a favor and don't start thinking of yourselves as my students either. OK? We cool? Good.


text:
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text:
Solution: It's smart to fix need windows 10 update pack problem with a good system fixer software. SmartPCFixer is obviously one of the most beneficial software to help you get rid of PC error in just 2 minutes and provide maintenance and protection against potential risks.
STEP 1: Click Here to Download SmartPCFixer FREE
STEP 2: Run the software and click the "Quick Scan" button.
STEP 3: Click the "Fix All" button to fix the problems.
1. Reinstall the application which may trigger need windows 10 update pack issues.
2. Check your windows update. Please watch the video below:
3. Update your computer outdated drivers.
To update the drivers automatically, all you need to do is right-click Computer and choose Manage.
And then click Device Manage. Check carefully and see if there is a yellow exclamatory mark. Double click it and click update drivers.
4. {Execute the sfc /scannow command
System File Checker is a utility in Windows that allows users to scan for corruptions in Windows system files and restore corrupted files. All you need to do is just click Start--Type CMD in the searching box--type sfc /scannow and click enter.
5. If the above 4 steps doesn't work, you had better do a system restore for your computer.
Win 10 Restore:
1. Right-click (or press and hold) the Start button, and then select Control Panel.
2. Search Control Panel for Recovery.
3. Select Recovery > Open System Restore > Next.
4. Choose the restore point related to the problematic app, driver, or update, and then select Next > Finish.
Win 8 Restore:
a.From the Windows 8 Start screen, type "Restore." The top result in the right-side Search panel should be "Create a restore point." Even though that's not what we're doing today, that's the choice you want to make. It opens the Control Panel to the Systems Properties dialog's System Protection tab
B. Tap the first button on that property sheet: System Restore. This opens a wizard-like dialog, the first page of which says "Restore system files and settings" Here you get another chance to see which programs will be lost and gained. Tap "Next."
C.you'll see a dialog with a choice of system restore points.
Win 7/vista Restore:
Effectively scan useless registries and clean bad registry
Efficiently help you download the right dll files and register it automatically.
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Builder Documentation
- 1 Getting started with Builder
- 2 Builder Basics Videos
- 3 How to install Builder
- 4 How to upgrade Builder
- 5 My Theme -> Settings
- 6 My Theme -> Layouts and Views
- 7 Apply Layouts to Specific Views
- 8 Applying Layouts to Specific posts/Pages
- 9 Differences between Views, Layouts and Extensions
- 10 CSS - Identifying the modules
Getting started with Builder
This guide presents an introduction to basic Builder concepts and terms, as well as a beginner's overview on using Builder for the first time. We'll walk step-by-step through installing and activating the Builder theme, as well as creating your first page Layout and View with Builder.
Click here -> Getting Started with Builder
Latest video version of this can be found at http://ithemes.tv/
Builder Basics Videos
It is highly recommended that anyone new to iThemes Builder watch recording of the online workshop (webinar) done through WebDesign.com training division by Benjamin Bradley.
Please click on the link below:
iThemes Builder Basics Webinar
How to install Builder
- Download the latest Builder zip file from the member panel.
- Log into your WordPress admin area, go to Appearance -> Themes. Click on Install Themes, then on Upload. Browse to the folder where you have downloaded Builder.zip, select it and click Install Now. There is no need to activate Builder.
- While it is not compulsory, it is highly recommended to use a child theme of Builder as the active theme and not Builder directly. The idea behind this is to protect theme customizations from being erased during Builder upgrades.
- Download a child theme of your choice, say, Builder Child Theme - Default from the members area. In the steps below, "Builder Child Theme - Default" is merely used as an example. You are free to use any child theme (that appears in the Member Panel) of your choice.
- Note: If you would like to start with one of the pre-designed child themes as your theme, download and use the corresponding theme from the member panel. The Child Themes page lists all the Builder child themes that are available.
- Go to Appearance -> Themes. Click on Install Themes, then on Upload. Browse to the folder where you have downloaded BuilderChild-Default.zip (or whichever child theme you have chosen), select it and click Install Now.
- Activate your child theme.
The rest of this documentation assumes that Builder Child Theme - Default is being used.
Now your Builder is set up in such a way that changes to the theme can be made without worrying about upgrades overwriting changed files.
- Ensure that there are no spaces in the name of your child theme's directory. For example, BuilderChild-Default is fine, but not Builder Child - Default
- Contents of the theme must be directly inside the theme's directory and not nested i.e., inside another directory. This applies both to Builder and Builder's child theme.
Go to My Theme -> Start Here and watch videos covering Builder overview, Layouts & Modules and Child themes.
Screencast Videos
How to upgrade Builder
It is highly recommended to take a full backup of your Builder powered site using BackupBuddy before upgrading.
- Make sure that you have first upgraded any Builder-related plugins in use such as Style Manager, Builder SEO and Builder Blocks to their latest versions before attempting to upgrade Builder.
- Ensure that you are not using Builder (core/parent) as your site's active theme. Otherwise, customizations and changes you might have done to Builder files will be lost during upgrade. You must always use a child theme of Builder as your site's active theme.
The easiest way to upgrade Builder and any WordPress plugin is by using Easy Theme and Plugin Upgrades plugin. You do not need to manually delete your current version before uploading the most current version.
Here are the steps:
- Download, install and activate the Easy Theme and Plugin Upgrades plugin. If this plugin is already present, ensure that it is the latest version.
- Go to Appearance -> Themes. Click on Install Themes, then Upload.
- Browse to and locate the zip file of the latest Builder that you downloaded from member panel. Change the Upgrade existing theme? setting to Yes and click Install Now button.
- Once the theme has been successfully installed, return to themes page. Do not activate Builder as you should always be using a child theme of Builder as your active theme and not Builder directly.
- Builder can also be upgraded by replacing the existing Builder directory with the one extracted from the latest zip file using a FTP client or cPanel file manager. The advantage of using Easy Theme and Plugin Upgrades plugin is that it takes a backup of whatever is being replaced.
- You might NOT want to upgrade child theme of Builder. If you do so, keep in mind that changes that you have made to it, if any, will be lost.
My Theme -> Settings
Details of most of the core settings covered in the above video can be found here.
My Theme -> Layouts and Views
Go to My Theme -> Layouts and Views to access the Layout Manager.
Screenshot of default layouts in Builder:
A layout is an arrangement of modules. Think of modules as building blocks for the layout. Builder comes with 9 layouts by default. You can create any number of layouts from scratch or duplicate existing ones and apply layouts to individual pages, individual posts, front page, blog page, archives view, tag view etc.
You may want to follow these steps:
- Pick a layout that's closest to how you want your site to be and create its duplicate.
- Right Sidebar is typically what you would want to start off with. Place the mouse cursor on Right Sidebar and the link to Duplicate it will be visible. Click on it, provide a new name (say, Main) and click Create Layout.
- Set your new layout as the default. Place the mouse cursor next to the new layout you just created under the Default Layout column and Set as default link will appear. Click on it.
Now your 'Main' layout is ready to be customized. Click on its name to edit the modules that make up this layout.
Do not forget to save the layout when you are done editing it.
These are the different types of modules:
- Content Module
- Footer Module
- Header Module
- HTML Module
- Image Module
- Navigation Module
- Widget Bar Module
A Navigation bar module can be one of these four types:
- Builder Settings Pages
- Builder Settings Categories
- WordPress Pages
- Custom Menu
Builder Settings Pages
This module shows the page titles as menu items. Only those page titles will be shown in the navigation bar that have been ticked in the Menu Builder section at My Theme -> Settings. Child pages are displayed as sub menus. The default menu item in this type of navigation module is Home that links to your site's front page.
The order of pages in the menu can be changed by setting page Order for the pages (either in the page editor screen or at Pages -> Edit -> Quick Edit). A page with lower order number will be shown first (left) compared to a page with higher order.
Builder Settings Categories
This module shows the category titles as menu items. Only those category titles will be shown in the navigation bar that have been ticked in the Menu Builder section at My Theme -> Settings. Child categories are displayed as sub menus.
The order of categories in the menu can be changed by using Category Order plugin.
WordPress Pages
This module uses the output of wp_list_pages function. Child pages are displayed as sub menus.
The order of pages in the menu can be changed by setting page Order for the pages (either in the page editor screen or at Pages -> Edit -> Quick Edit). A page with lower order number will be shown first (left) compared to a page with higher order.
Custom Menu
This module uses custom menu that is created at Appearance -> Menus.
Image Module
Image module is typically used to display header images.
In the module's settings, we can upload an image, let the height be automatic or set its height manually, specify Link URL and whether or not the linked URL should open in a new window (default is to open in the same window). We can also specify any of these for sidebars:
- No Sidebars (default)
- 1 Left
- 2 Left
- 1 Right
- 2 Right
- Split (1 Left & 1 Right)
- To avoid resizing of the image after upload, ensure that width of image is exactly equal to Layout width minus the total width of sidebar(s) (if any). Also ensure that the height of the image is the same as the height value specified in the module's setting.
- If the uploaded image is not appearing on the site, make sure that uploads folder is set to wp-content/uploads at Settings -> Miscellaneous. If the issue continues, ensure that GD image library is present in your hosting environment.
Tip: A HTML module or widget bar module will give you better control if you want to use a sidebar.
Widget Bar Module
HTML Module
Content Module
The actual Page/Post etc. content will be shown inside the content module. Therefore, ensure that default layout in your site has the content module. A layout can and will have only 1 content module.
Content module can have
- No Sidebars
- 1 Left
- 2 Left
- 1 Right
- 2 Right
- Split (1 Left & 1 Right)
When entering custom width(s) for the sidebar(s) ensure that "px" is not present next to the value.
A layout can and will only have 1 footer module.
Like other modules, footer module can have
- No Sidebars (default)
- 1 Left
- 2 Left
- 1 Right
- 2 Right
- Split (1 Left & 1 Right)
To learn how to edit the content of footer, follow this.
Apply Layouts to Specific Views
The power of Builder (layouts) can selectively be applied to specific sections of your WordPress site called Views.
To apply layouts to specific views, go to Layout Editor (My Theme -> Layouts & Views) and click on Views tab. Then click Add View button.
These are the available views:
- 404: This view represents (web)pages (controlled by 404.php) that come up when a non-existent (in your site) URL is accessed.
- Archives: This view represents pages (controlled by archive.php) that come up when a archive link is clicked. Examples of archive pages (these are listing pages, i.e., having multiple posts rather than a single entry) are: Category pages, Author pages, Tag pages, Date archive pages.
- Attachment: This view represents pages (controlled by attachment.php) that come up when any attachment (files like images that can be seen in WordPress Media Library ) is viewed.
- Author: This view represents pages that come up when link to a author is clicked.
- Blog: This option appears only when a Page has been set as Posts page at Settings -> Reading i.e., when a static page is set to appear on Front page. This view represents the Posts page (Example: /blog or /news) which uses index.php (unless an extension is used in which case, extension's functions.php will be used)
- Category: When this view is selected, another dropdown named "Category" appears from which a category can be selected to which the layout should be applied. This view represents any page that lists posts belonging to a particular category.
- Date Archive: This view represents the date-based archives list pages (controlled by date.php).
- Home: This view represents the front page.
- Page: This view represents a Page.
- Post: This view represents a Post.
- Post Type - Widget Content: This view represents a single entry of "Widget Content" custom post type. Widget Content comes by default in Builder. Each custom post type (Ex.: Projects in Covell child theme) will automatically appear in the View selection dropdown.
- Search: This view represents the search results page (controlled by search.php)
- Singular: This view represents Any post, page, or attachment. Post, Page, Attachment views if present will take precedence over this.
- Tag: This view represents that page that comes up when a tag is clicked.
Applying Layouts to Specific posts/Pages
A layout can be applied to any post or Page while that post or Page is being added/edited.
Note: When Front page is set to display a static Page at Settings -> Reading, a layout applied to Home will not get applied. Same is the case with Posts page.
In this case, views must be used.
Differences between Views, Layouts and Extensions
Go to http://ithemes.com/forum/index.php?/topic/9024-differences-between-views-layouts-and-extensions/


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While we can't quite say we had a white Christmas this year, we certainly can say the majority of this week has been blustery, grey and messy, as a blast of winter weather came through central Delaware bringing a mix of snow, sleet and rain.
While we can't quite say we had a white Christmas this year, we certainly can say the majority of this week has been blustery, grey and messy, as a blast of winter weather came through central Delaware bringing a mix of snow, sleet and rain.
While rain showers poured on Dover Monday afternoon and shifted into snow during the evening, Christmas day brought sunny skies for the area. But it was a short respite, as Wednesday temperatures fell and the rain and sleet returned.
New Castle County received a brunt of the storm's effects on the First State, as temperatures hovered just above freezing Wednesday afternoon, according to DelDOT spokesman Jim Westhoff, but portions of Kent County experienced heavy rain and high winds, with the National Weather Service reporting peak wind gusts of up to 64 miles per hour at Dover Air Force Base Wednesday.
The storm prompted the state's transportation department to send crews out to treat the roads with salt as temperatures dropped and ice started accumulating on the roads in portions of the state.
In preparation for the winter, DelDOT has as many as 500 people on hand to take part in snow-removal operations and approximately 450 vehicles are available for snow operations, including dump trucks, graders and other tractors, Westhoff said. Delaware has 65,000 tons of salt stockpiled in 20 locations throughout the state.
AAA Mid-Atlantic also released a statement Wednesday reminding commuters to be cautious and ready for potentially hazardous driving conditions during times of winter weather.
"Nearly one-quarter of weather related vehicle crashes occur on snowy, slushy or icy pavement, resulting in more than 1,300 deaths and 116,800 people injured annually, according to data from the Federal Highway Administration," said Jim Lardear, director of public and government affairs, in press release.
While the end of the week looks to be fairly calm aside from low temperatures and strong winds, another snow shower could be in sight for the tri-state area this weekend.
Be prepared this winter
AAA offered the following tips for driving in winter weather:
• Make sure to check antifreeze, windshield wipers and washer fluid; tires; battery; belts and hoses.
• Drive distraction-free.
• Do not use cruise control and avoid tailgating. Normal following distances of three to four seconds for dry pavement should be increased to eight to 10 seconds when driving on icy, slippery surfaces.
• Know when to brake and when to steer. When traveling over 25 MPH, AAA recommends steering rather than braking to avoid a collision in wintery conditions, as less distance is required to steer around an object than to brake to a stop. In slick conditions, sudden braking can lead to loss of vehicle control.
• Stay in control through a skid. When a vehicle begins to skid, it's important to not panic and follow these basic steps: Continue to look and steer in the direction the car needs to go. Avoid slamming on the brakes as this will further upset the vehicle's balance and make it harder to control.


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Sit, listen to the wind, birds and trees. Allow the beauty and chaos that is nature to enter and propel you through this time we call life. Breath in the smells of an open fire place and a camp fire. Know the difference they have on you and your surroundings. Give with an open heart and mind. Know that there are richer and poorer. But never measure those two thoughts by the amount of money one has. For richness is how you live and give of yourself, not what you have.
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Unique Dog Medicine Cards ~ set Eight
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Last week April Lean Hogs opened at $79.625 and closed the week at $79.400. For the month of February this contract opened at $89.350 and closed the month at $81.000.
Cold Storage
For weeks now we have been hearing about drops in foreign and domestic demand for pork. The cold storage report this past Friday reflected this with an increase of frozen pork of 5% from last months. Stocks of pork bellies were up 17% from last month. The report showed 636.7 million pounds of pork in freezer warehouses which is the all time high for this time. Below are the largest pork producers for 2013. So where are all the Easter hams?
Proceed to Page 2 for the latest COT Data...


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Key Votes
HR 4351 - Alternative Minimum Tax Adjustment Act - National Key Vote
Phil Hare voted Yea (Passage) on this Legislation.
Read statements Phil Hare made in this general time period.
- Jan. 22, 2008 Senate Bill Sent To Committee
- Dec. 12, 2007 House Bill Passed
- Dec. 11, 2007 Introduced
Issues Related to HR 4351
Stage Details
Legislation - Bill Sent To Committee (Senate) - Jan. 22, 2008
Legislation -
Bill Passed
(226-193) -
Dec. 12, 2007(Key vote)
See How Your Politicians Voted
Title: Alternative Minimum Tax Adjustment Act
Vote Result
Yea Votes
Nay Votes
Vote to pass a bill that extends the alternative minimum tax credit and adjusts the repayment plan for nonqualified deferred compensation.
- Extends the alternative minimum tax limit for nonrefundable personal credits to 2007 and increases the amounts of exemption from $62,550 to $66,250 for joint tax returns and from $42,500 to $44,350 for individual tax returns (Secs. 101 & 102).
- Requires non-ascertainable income that is included in nonqualified deferred compensation to be taxed, when the amount can be determined, at a rate increased by the amount of interest at the underpayment rate, plus one percent on the underpayments, and an additional 20 percent of the amount of the compensation (Sec. 201).
- Requires nonqualified deferred compensation arrangements made before December 31, 2007, to be amended in a limited time to comply with the distribution date of the amounts to be included in income (Sec. 201).
- Defers treating domestic corporations that are part of a worldwide affiliated group as an individual corporation for income tax purposes until December 31, 2017 (Sec. 221).
Legislation - Introduced (House) - Dec. 11, 2007
Title: Alternative Minimum Tax Adjustment Act
- Charles B. 'Charlie' Rangel (NY - D) (Out Of Office)


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Rent vs buy
How big is an acre? What is an option?
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Take a look at our real estate glossary to learn definitions of common words and phrases used in the industry.
National market update
June Exiting Home Sales Slip BUT Prices Continue to Roll at Double Digit Rates
WASHINGTON (July 22, 2013) – Existing-home sales declined in June but have stayed well above year-ago levels for the past two years, while the median price shows seven straight months of double-digit year-over-year increases, according to the National Association of Realtors®. Read more
Homeowners Surge, Investors Slump
Steve Cook shares results in the latest Campbell/Inside Mortgage Finance HousingPulse Tracking Survey. Steve says findings report "Current homeowners are providing much of the buying power currently driving the housing market, while investors are continuing to lose steam in the face of rapidly escalating home prices".
Read more
National housing indicators
Existing home sales ()
5.08 million units*
Existing home median price ()
Housing Starts ()
836,000 units*
New home sales ()
459,000 units (estimated) *
*Seasonally adjusted annual rate. Source: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS®.
National economic indicators
Home ownership
1st Qrt 13
1st Qrt 12
The homeownership rate in the first quarter 2013 (65.0 percent) was lower than the first quarter 2012 rate (65.4 percent). The homeownership rate in the South was lower than the corresponding first quarter 2012 rate, while the rates in the Northeast, Midwest, and West were not statistically different from the rates a year ago.
New home sales
Jun 13
May 13
Sales of new single-family houses in June 2013 were at a seasonally adjusted annual rate of 497,000. This is 8.3 percent (+/- 20.5%)* above the revised May 2013 estimate of 459,000.
Source: U.S. CENSUS BUREAU
How much is your home worth? Get a real-time report on the value of your home. Start now
Regional market updates
View market statistics for your region.
Click on the links below to view data from two different industry sources. Choose information on local prices & state sales from any of 178 metropolitan housing markets prepared by the National Association of REALTORS® or information on sales & price activity from local area markets in 25 states prepared by Clarus MarketMetrics.
Local Prices & State Sales
Local Sales & Price Activity
Disclaimer: The views, opinions, statements and/or ideas expressed in this Message Section do not reflect the ideas, policy, position, views or opinion of Move,Inc.
Consumer tips & hot properties
How to Negotiate the Best Real Estate Deal
Negotiation is a complex matter and all transactions are unique. How do you develop a strong bargaining position, one which will help you get the most from a transaction? There are five basic keys which will determine who wins at the negotiating table.
Read more
Should You Buy a Used Home Instead of a New Home
As you embark on buying a home, one of the first decisions is whether to buy a new home or a "used" one. Each choice has its advantages, and there is no single answer that works for everyone. Read more
Home Owner Misperceptions About Flood Insurance
Many Americans think their home owners insurance policy covers them for floods, when in fact, you have to buy a separate flood insurance policy to be covered.
Read more
Tips for Staging Kitchens and Bathrooms When Selling
For buyers, a clean, modern, well-laid-out kitchen is a major feature. Bathrooms are also a consideration, because they contribute to overall happiness in living in the home. Read more
Moving Day Guide and Checklist
Keep moving day from becoming overwhelming by knowing what you need to get done — and in what order. This guide will help to put your mind at ease when the big moving day arrives.
Read more
Existing Home Statistics
View statistics based on national data, regional data and data gathered from 159 cities & metropolitan areas.
National Statistics
Statistics by City or Metropolitan Area
Regional Statistics
Source: NATIONAL ASSOCIATION OF REALTORS®.


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Eco Friendly Blinds & Shades
- Make your home green
- Save on energy costs with insulation
- Environmentally sustainable natural fibers
- Reduce reliance on petroleum energy
- Renewable and recycled material
Eco friendly blinds and shades are identified as especially "green" based on material content, recycling potential, and green certifications. Materials such as bamboo, reeds, jute, and real wood are sustainably harvested out of natural elements, reducing harm on the environment. Faux wood blinds are made from specially formulated recycled materials that can be recycled again when it's time to redecorate. EcoGreen shades use environmentally responsible fabrics that are PVC-free, 100% Recyclable, and LEED Certification Friendly, so they can be used as eco friendly window treatments in both residential and commercial settings. There are also earth friendly window treatments that provide energy saving features, such as insulating cellular shades.
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Levolor® Natural Woven Wood Shades
33% off retail $116.42 $78.00 + an extra 15% off
Customizeback to products
customer reviews for eco friendly
"Easy, easy, easy"
By Cindy from Clearwater, FL
First, I love this website. Shopping and ordering is very easy and with the free sample feature, you can't go wrong. Second, I ordered this product and it is everything I hoped it would be. It is good quality and made perfectly to my specifications. There was a question about the location of the up/down cords (they couldn't do what I wanted) so I rec'd a phone call from a rep explaining the situation and we resolved it over the phone to my satisfaction. I was pleased they called me for my approval. Third, these blinds were so easy to install. It only took about 20 minutes and they fit perfectly in my window and look beautiful. I highly recommend Blingsgalore and plan on ordering from them again. Easy shopping, easy ordering, easy installation! I have only one tiny criticism of the website, and that is that you cannot search by color. That would greatly help me for my next order as I want a specific color and I've had to slog through lots of products to see if it's available.View this product
"Great purchase"
By from
Looked at these Blinds elsewhere at a higher cost, found them here at lower cost. They are beautiful and very well made.View this product


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Grint and Watson Talk Potter Reading Habits in Ultimate Editions Special Features Clip
Dec 28, 2009
HP Cast
The newest issue of the official Harry Potter newsletter has been released, and contains a short clip of a special feature from the Ultimate Editions release of the first two Harry Potter films. The preview, available to view via this link, features actors Rupert Grint (Ron) and Emma Watson (Hermione) speaking to their individual Harry Potter book reading habits. In the clip, Miss Watson reveals herself to be a "book purist," having read each book "three or four times," while her costar admits to being "quite late to reading the last one [Deathly Hallows]."
Additionally, the newsletter makes mention of a Twitter contest for a chance to win Harry Potter posters. To enter, twitter users may simply follow @harrypotterfilm. Poster giveaways begin on January 4, 2010. To sign up for the official Harry Potter WB newsletter, click here.
The ultimate editions of "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" and "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" are now in stores and can be ordered here and here, respectively.


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We are an industry leader for cell phone and smartphone battery recycling. Learn more about our recycling programs for consumers and businesses.
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In Stock
Links your HDTV to digital devices such as PlayStation 3 for high definition video and clear, crisp audio clarity.
Supports all standard and high definition video resolution up to 1080p.
Transmits audio from stereo to 8-channel digital surround sound.
There are currently no reviews for this product. Be the first to review by clicking below!


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We've updated our personal data policies and Fair Processing Notice and you can read them here.
We are the leading hotel property specialist, and provide services to owners, banks, private equity and insolvency practitioners.
We have in-depth restaurant knowledge, from independent through to branded chains and high-end dining.
We have the largest pub brokerage team in the UK working across the board, from single assets to large portfolios.
We provide strategic advice to a variety of leisure clients including nightclubs, health and fitness centres and golf resorts.
We have the UK's largest convenience retail and forecourt team and more than 40 registered valuers with retail experience.
Our sector specialists work with day nursery operators through to independent school operators and specialist education providers.
We are the UK's most active advisor to the care sector, and handle more than 50% of individually transacted care homes in the UK.
A complete range of services for anybody buying, selling or financing a dental practice.
As the UK's leading pharmacy specialists we deliver a comprehensive range of services via 16 nationwide offices.
Our sector specialists are experienced in the sale and acquisition of businesses
We provide innovative, valued insight across our markets to uncover opportunities
We provide developers with access to the widest
range of operators and hospitality brands
We supply advice to a range of clients across all sectors for agency and valuations
Our comprehensive databases of comparable evidence enable accurate, insightful reporting
We can advise you of the options available to reduce your business rate liability
We offer clarity, market rent data and understanding to complex provisions
Our experts provide retrospective valuations, expert witness reports and considered advice
Our dedicated team work with our sector specialists to ensure timely and accurate advice
Christie Finance acts for a diverse range of borrowers, from private purchasers to national corporates, investors and developers
Buying or selling? Our sector specialists can provide advice, market appraisals, trends and analysis to help you make informed commercial decisions
Whether you are considering commercial property for the first time or are an experienced business owner, it is important to understand your options
As the insurance arm of the Christie & Co network, we'll use our sector knowledge to arrange the insurance cover your business needs
Some businesses falter; our dedicated recovery and insolvency experts can help you head off a crisis
Our valuations team provide independent advice across all our specialist sectors, from single assets to valuations of entire portfolios
Our people are the best in the business; professional and customer focused. Each is a specialist in their field and dedicated to client satisfaction.
We're the leading specialist advisor for buying and selling businesses in our sectors - hotels, pubs, restaurants, childcare, healthcare, convenience retail, leisure and medical.
Providing professional services covering surveying, valuation, agency, consultancy, finance, insurance, stock control and software solutions.
Find out what we've been up to across all of our sectors
Thought provoking and relevant, our blog has regular insight into all our sectors
Read our latest reports for in-depth analysis about the market
Review our current Major Instructions
Christie & Co operates in a wide range of market sectors, with business expertise going back over 80 years.
We understand that selling your business is a difficult decision. You've worked hard to build your business, so there's every reason to seek help from understanding experts and try to obtain the highest possible price.
A great opportunity to buy destination garden centres as Wyevale Garden Centres come to market.
Award winning pub restaurant group Brunning & Price is searching for new sites
Whether you are a student, a graduate or an experienced professional, we provide opportunities for your career development.
Whatever your degree or interests, we can provide real experience working alongside specialist property experts.
If you're looking for an opportunity to bring new ideas to your role and work collaboratively with colleagues and clients, we are the place for you.
You're part of the team, where you can immediately put your education or experience to use.
Our expert team of commercial property professionals are ready to provide you with all the advice and support you need to make the best business decisions.
Our office locations are well placed to ensure we are easily accessible to our clients across the UK, Europe and beyond.
Specialist business property adviser, Christie & Co has brought to the market The Norden Arms, a highly regarded gastropub situated within an affluent area of Rochdale, Greater Manchester.
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