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Friday, April 10, 2009
Why I Pick On Randall
Here's why I think Randy deserves more criticism: Given the "requirements", as I'll call them, of his comic, he should be doing much much better.
Think about this: Most newspaper comics have to think of stuff to write 7 days a week. Randy's schedule just gives him 3. Even most of the popular webcomics tend to be daily, if only on weekdays (C&H, Qwantz, Overcompensating, the Natalie Dee and Drew comics, Chainsawsuit, SMBC). That's still more per week than xkcd.
True, some comics publish only once a week - but these (Subnormality, Truck Bearing Kibble when it existed, PBF when it existed) tended to feature pretty complicated art - so at least the artist had to do a lot more work, per week, and you got a much more visually appealing end result. xkcd: not so much.
Even the updates-when-possible comics (Achewood, Kate Beaton) are much longer and have more interesting visuals than xkcd.
But the bigger issue isn't the timing. It's that thematically, Randall has no limits. He has exactly two recurring characters, and they don't even recur that often. He has no particular amount of space he must fill - they can range from tiny to huge. He has no limitation on what he can or can't represent (unlike newspaper comics which probably can't, for example, use the phrase "gosh-darned cunt" or show stick figures having sex and get away with it). Sure, xkcd claims to be about math, romance, sarcasm, and language, but there are tons of examples that have none of those.
For example: If Ryan North, sometime around his 1400th comic, made a crappy comic, I can forgive him. His limitations - self-imposed, but an integral part of his comic - are tough: six panels, only three on-screen characters, a fixed amount of space. Same with Achewood: He's got some well developed characters, but he has to use them. Kate Beaton: She always draws historical stuff in her own completely charming way.
Randy...has none of this. So given that he can write anything he damn wants, I expect a little more. Achewood can't have a long buildup to a painful pun. Moe can't just comment on Final Fantasy VII. Cyanide and Happiness never has subtlety. But xkcd can have all this, and basically anything else. He has no limitations - so it's especially lame when he can't think of anything funny.
Of course, Oscar Wilde might say that this explains xkcd's problems - he wrote that "the absence of limitation is the enemy of art," meaning that by giving yourself totally free reign, you take away the meaning or interest of anything you might produce. Perhaps one way Randall could try to improve would be to limit himself in one of the ways I've mentioned.
102 comments:
- CuddlefishApril 11, 2009 at 2:37 AM
Carl, I love you like an acquaintance, but these kinds of posts are tiring to snark at, and I probably won't read any of the comments because, despite your righteous frustration at X duck's suck X-factor, most commenters couldn't find Randall's humongous head in a pumpkin patch with an ego detector that registers nanojerks.ReplyDelete
Carl, I love you like the relief after scratching a mosquito bite, but if this feminine side of you is going to keep popping up so often, you should think about starting a puppysthatarecutebutcouldbecuter blog to air out your vagina in a place cordoned-off from the rest of us.
I love you like the bucket of buffalo wings dripping with oil that stained the toilet on their way out, but you damn well know that Randall's problem has little to do with limitations on the comic format. In actuality, the lack of limitations is simply a symptom of the fact that Randall knows he's so awesome that he HAS no limitations.
Please take these suggestions to heart. I suggest printing them out and stuffing the paper in a shirt pocket (left side!).
It's not really necessary to justify your reasons for picking on XKCD. We all have our roles to play and in this case yours is that of the XKCD-sucks guy... it's important that you exist... for the balance of the universe and all.ReplyDelete
I actually agree with your assessment of many of the strips... but I still like xkcd (in general) because of its clean style, those rare gems and because it's the last part of "internet culture" that doesn't annoy me yet.
Also not to start a flame war or anything but I think dinosaur comic is kind of lame... it's busy, ugly, and the dialog is like a child wrote it... am I missing something? You should write some posts about why you actually like the comics that you do.
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 2:54 AM
his limitation is stick figures.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 3:41 AM
Stou: I don't think you're missing anything about Dinosaur Comics. The ugly clip-art, crowded layout, and overenthusiastic dialogue are what make it so charming to people who like that sort of thing. It's a sort of camp aesthetic, I think.ReplyDelete
It seems like Munroe is mainly just recycling old (but usually good) ideas. He doesn't have any new ideas, nor does he try to make up for his lack of ideas by pushing himself harder with his artwork, or anything.ReplyDelete
I mean yeah it's a free comic so it isn't like anyone is entitled to anything Munroe does. But it used to be a good free comic, and now it is a mediocre-at-best free comic. If more people see this, less people will buy his stuff, and perhaps Munroe will be forced to make his comic better, or accept that he is out of ideas.
On an aside, I am here in part because it makes me sad that Munroe is ruining his otherwise good comic. The PBF archives still stand, mostly unpolluted. I wish the xkcd archives stood the same way. But right now it's like Munroe finished cooking a delicious, perfect meal, and is now adding a teaspoon of salt every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.
That adds up.
Dinosaur Comics continues to make me laugh, genuinely out loud, on a consistent basis. Its sense of humor actually fits quite well with my own, and, weirdly often, the content or themes of his comics tend to overlap with goings-on in my own life, leading me to believe that Ryan North is a slightly more Canadian me sporting a goatee. Not to mention how important grammar and punctuation are to North!ReplyDelete
That said, excellent post, Carl!!
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 8:55 AM
I'm sorry carl, but I cannot see howReplyDelete
you justify it. In short, it seems like its the
stupid X is popular, let's mock it.
But, I think you have a different problem.
You liked xkcd before, right, and you wish
that it still were about the same topics
as before. But xkcd have changed, and
for some people, it's for the better.
I enjoy xkcd very much now, actually
more than it did before. And I don't
want it to change.
I think you are just a big egoistic
troll who only think of yourself.
We have different kind of humor,
get over it. Myself, I think dinosaur
comics sucks, but I accept that other
people have other kind of humor and
don't mind it.
It's like saying insisting on that
Coca cola tastes like shit, and that
others shouldsame say the same so
that the company should change the taste.
Even when the majority likes it the way
it is already.
xkcd is not a comic designed to make you
laugh. It's a comic designed to make someone
else laugh.
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 9:12 AM
There are plenty of colas out there that will convince you that Coca-Cola does taste like shit.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 9:33 AM
What about Pepsi?ReplyDelete
Pepsi rules.ReplyDelete
And the Anonymous who wrote that poem-like thing there, then xkcd's comic statement should change. It used to actually be about math and science and stuff and that was why I liked it. Now it's so simple my 12-year-old brother *gets every single comic*. This is not Cartoon Network: The Comic; this is xkcd. A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language. But it's not that anymore. It's, to quote Carl, a webcomic of "python references, shitty breakups, memes and charts". It's losing all that made it INTELLIGENT humor and just becoming...xkcd humor. And I don't like that.
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 11:09 AM
All that said, "Urgent Mission" is awesome, and this post would have had more bite if posted on a bad day.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 12:33 PM
@Stou: I agree with you on Dinosaur Comics. It's like this: "Topic! Topic is interesting! I need to use exclamation points in most every sentence!" "Well T-Rex, did you know this about topic?" "No, I didn't! BUT NOW I KNOW. CAPITALIZED SENTENCES DON'T USE EXCLAMATION POINTS EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE THE ONLY THINGS THAT SHOULD."ReplyDelete
It's like listening to the same 'tard talk about every topic imaginable. Despite that, I have to give North credit for giving himself such harsh limitations and continuously appeasing his audience. I personally may not enjoy the comics, but many people do. If anything, they're written by an intelligent person, and I can appreciate that.
I agree with Carl that part of the reason xkcd is sucking now is that there are no limitations. If Randall began doing something as simple as "All comics must be four panels in length", that would probably force him to really think about his comic ideas before just vomiting up the first thing that comes to mind. Limitations can seriously do wonders.
@Dr. S: Actually, Cartoon Network has some shows now that are far funnier (and more intelligent) than most new xkcd comics. Don't rag on CN! Though on a similar note, xkcd is declining in the same way Adult Swim is (with shit shows like Tim & Eric getting new seasons). Oh well!
Well, I think criticism is all well and good. I only dislike when it goes from "picking on xkcd" to "picking on Randall Munroe" -- for example, the first comment to this post. For one, extrapolating the artist's personality from his work is necessarily imprecise, and bad criticism.ReplyDelete
For two, hate is stupid.
I was looking at a thread about this blog on the xkcd forums the other day and I was considering dropping by. (incidentally, does anyone else find it appropriate that the forums URL is 'echochamber'?) You know, talking to the fans on their own terms, bridging the rift between our two great nations and whatnot. Do you think they'd take it badly? Would anyone else be up for it if I did? I'm kind of curious how it would turn out.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 12:49 PM
CN promotes TDI and 16 and killed Toonami. They can go fuck a pig in a fire.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 12:50 PM
Was it always 'echochamber'? Maybe he's listening to us after all.ReplyDelete
- RealistApril 11, 2009 at 1:08 PM
These are such bullshit criticisms. Why does it matter how many comics Randall posts a week--what matters is quality of the final product. It would be better if Randall only posted 1 a week given that only about 1/3 of his work deserves to be published. And the same is true for most of the daily comics you mention. It's not like the internet has a webcomic shortage. What, would you stop critiquing Randall if he posted 7 comics a week of the same worth as his recent stuff?ReplyDelete
He doesn't mean if he posted 7 comics a week it would suddenly be OK. He means that, with only 3 a week, that they're so bad is especially unacceptable.ReplyDelete
- A Cuddlefish of Great DistinctionApril 11, 2009 at 1:40 PM
I never heard that Oscar Wilde quote before, and now I feel like printing it out and putting it on my door or something. I'll show it to my hipster music-major friend who thinks John Cage is better than Mozart, because Mozart is "so formulaic and predictable." ARRGH.ReplyDelete
John Cage is a retard =PReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 7:02 PM
TDI and 6teen are decent shows (even though they're OMG CANADIAN), and Toonami... okay, I'll give you that one. That was bullshit.ReplyDelete
Regardless, you take your pig and your fire elsewhere, sir!
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 8:18 PM
TDI and 16 are NOT decent shows. I don't care where they came from. They're STILL shit.ReplyDelete
- the_cuddlefishApril 11, 2009 at 8:33 PM
Oh isn't it nice when everyone is dif-fer-ent,ReplyDelete
It's so very much better that we're not the same,
But nonetheless we all should get along with-each-oth-er,
And something something rumpty tumpty Maine.
Hmm. I got bored with that quickly. But the point still stands: why not concentrate on what you both do like? Being called Anonymous so that people can patronise you and go 'o cuddly cuddlefish, i have so many cuddles for you!;, for instance.
- CuddlefishApril 11, 2009 at 8:36 PM
You have no idea what criticism is, or what "picking" on something actually looks like. Creative work is not something you can conceive of; instead of a volume of imagination, you contain a spectrum of offense. Your inference of Carl's technique is shallow and self-important, projecting some laughable victimization onto your godhead.
Why am I so sure of this? Because you obviously have no idea what hate is. But let's be clear: I hate you. I hate your implicit insistence on offence as meter of emotion. I hate your insipid schoolyard vocabulary.
Fuck you and sit on a dick,
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 9:09 PM
Just some minor nitpicking. It's patronize, not patronise.ReplyDelete
I wouldn't hate xkcd so fucking much if EVERYONE ON THE GODDAMNED INTERNET felt obligated to link it every 10 seconds on anything remotely related, as if it's something edgy and new. I know this isn't the creator's fault, but people treat xkcd like it's the god damned messiah of comedy. At it's best it's maybe moderately amusing, but on average it's banal, warmed-over recycled tripe.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 9:16 PM
"Patronise" = British spelling.ReplyDelete
Dear Realist—see Dresden Codak.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 9:50 PM
Fuck british spelling. Nobody else uses it.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 9:53 PM
Except India, and they only have like 1 billion people so who the hell cares about themReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 10:36 PM
Well, this isn't India now, is it?ReplyDelete
Seriously, nobody cares. I doubt they read xkcd over there anyways.
Of course not. xkcd has no curry in it.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 11:14 PM
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 11:35 PM
BRB, registering xkcdneedsmorecurry.blogspot.comReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 11, 2009 at 11:42 PM
Why? What is he going to gain from changing his style and format? Your readership? He's already apparently got that. What's wrong with the dude doing what he likes?ReplyDelete
I've noticed an influx of hatespam lately from the cuddlefish masses (whatever happened to the categorization effort?). Which can only mean one thing...ReplyDelete
Congratulations Carl! You're officially influential in the XKCD fanbase.
Because seeing a clever, adventurous comic become bland and formulaic is sad. It's like seeing a musician switch from unique experimental compositions to shitty pop ballads. It's like seeing a visionary director who throws away his vision and makes subpar action movies with explosion instead of characterization. It's like seeing a beloved child decline into a crippling drug addiction.ReplyDelete
Okay, maybe it's not quite so melodramatic. But most of the people here - in my experience, anyway - are here, not because they hated xkcd from the beginning, but because they used to like it before it jumped the webcomic shark. And furthermore, there is a difference between someone doing what they like and someone wanking, and it's seemed like xkcd has been filled with a lot more of the latter lately.
PS. You guys ever heard of Australia, or New Zealand, or Ireland? You know, those countries where they speak English, but it's not the same as in the States? And they use the British spellings?
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 12:30 AM
yes yes also CanadaReplyDelete
but India is bigger population-wise than all other English-speaking countries combined which made it a convenient "hey!" thing
also i am slightly drunk
the_cuddlefish! I take offense when you call me patronising! Not because it is a British spelling but because I indeed have many cuddles to give! And much offense to take, apparently?ReplyDelete
Latest Cuddlefish! I actually have no cuddles for you. "What's wrong with the dude doing what he likes?" could be asked of... a serial killer? Obviously Randall is most likely not comparable to a serial killer but I am saying your argument is less than invalid.
DON'T BE MEAN TO PAT he is actually pretty cool. And no more idiotic and unnecessary paragraph breaks, it does not make you an individual, it makes you a dumbass.
- CuddlefishApril 12, 2009 at 1:10 AM
If I wanted to present myself as an individual worthy of individualistic individualism, and all the entailed scorn that the social Darwinist collectivists would heap upon for daring to interpret myself as a thinking human being instead of a jizz sock whose African-state ruling party witch doctor has decided that the moral purview of the state is to punish the people who offend the ruling party because the latter is composed of incompetents who define themselves and celebrate as true-to-roots the unwillingness, never mind inability, to risk success lest they be humiliated in front of their God, the Holy Masses, I assure you that I would. What's more amusing, my dear: the impotent spittle splashed across the internet from a player of checkers who didn't know kings can go back across the board, or kill-file suggestions loaded down as if from JournoList on High intended to nip at the roots imagination as if it were itself offensive?ReplyDelete
Finally, lovely Amanda, have you seen the text boxes down here? I admit that I bear the drudgery of typing my own messages. They're scarcely fifty characters wide. Forgive a gentleman if after several sentences he deems a newline character or two necessary to prevent that glassy-eyed dog look on consumers of what would otherwise present as an impenetrable wall of text. (We can't blame Randall for having to worry about that one, can we?)
So uh, raise your hand if you skipped through that comment?ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 2:51 AM
I have absolutely no idea what he's talking about, if that's what you mean.ReplyDelete
- the_cuddlefishApril 12, 2009 at 4:27 AM
"Obviously Randall is most likely not comparable to a serial killer but I am saying your argument is less than invalid."ReplyDelete
Haha, that's class. It's the "most likely" that makes it for me.
"I indeed have many cuddles to give!"
Then why do I never get any? *storms off in a huff*
(Also: happy Easter, everybody!)
Um WHERE IS THE THREAD ON THE FORUMSReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 7:59 AM
That quote is by Orson Welles, not Oscar Wilde.ReplyDelete
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 9:13 AM
No, he just ripped it off.ReplyDelete
You are a pretentious dumbfuck. Your writing style is like a retarded monkey doing a bad impersonation of the Time Cube guy proofread by a high school English teacher who smokes too much weed.
Write what you know, and write to suit your audience. Trying to sound smart and extending yourself beyond the bounds of your actual intellect only makes you look stupid. Attempting to write stylized, florid prose on an Internet comments page makes you ignorable. Write simply, and only add some grammatical flair when you can pull it off without looking like a supreme douche (which, for you, is never) and people will actually respond to you in a positive way.
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 10:56 AM
For people who discuss about xkcd it most certainly seems like you never read #438.ReplyDelete
Just a wink...
Cuddlefish: okay I was mistaken, it wasn't the paragraph breaks that make you a dumbass.ReplyDelete
the_cuddlefish: CUDDLESSSSSSSSSSSSSS happy egg hunting!
Also winky cuddlefish.. yes, we have seen it.ReplyDelete
@Winky CuddlefishReplyDelete
If ladies with no regard for basic physics forced me to meet Randall in person, I'd still tell him that his webcomic feels shallow and derivative. I'm not to worried about impressing people if I don't care for their work and do not have to deal with them on a personal level with any regularity.
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 2:01 PM
We HAVE read 438, and (naturally) it kind of sucks.ReplyDelete
386 is slightly better, and more fitting.
- Winky CuddlefishApril 12, 2009 at 2:32 PM
386 is better but not fitting.ReplyDelete
It is not about wether someone is wrong on the internet. It is about the tone in which you tell said person.
So do continue to tell each other that xkcd sucks or does totally not suck or blows or whatever.
But why so rude?
Also you suck balls.. hard... wink,wink
@Winky Cuddlefish:ReplyDelete
We're so rude because a) we're on the Internet, b) it's cathartic, and c) most of us aren't so fucking uptight that a few curse words or insults will turn us into emo kids.
Also, I find that I'd rather be direct and honest than beat around the bush - if I think, "Wow, you're a fucktard," I'm going to tell you, "Wow, you're a fucktard." Trying to dress that sentence up to be more polite is a waste of time - both mine and yours - and on top of that, I still won't have actually told you what I think. I'll have given you a half-assed pseudo-expression of my feelings, and that's stupid.
By the way, the "wink" thing doesn't make you sound clever. It's makes you sound like an idiot.
poore you are just the coolestReplyDelete
I gotta say, I'm getting horrendously confused by the Anons who argue with each other. Please get some names =(
yeah and um I think I am at the point where if Randy were to ask me in person if I liked his comic I would genuinely answer him with "no actually I think you kind of suck now. You used to be pretty great, though!"
I mean I think people who tell us we wouldn't dare say what we say here to him in person is the same as us calling Randy a creeper based on his creeper comics, which is WRONG WRONG WRONG we are so wrong why are we extrapolating on ONE ASPECT of what we see?
carl if blogger doesn't work ONE MORE TIME i am going to KEEP COMMENTING ANYWAY
- CuddlefishApril 12, 2009 at 5:53 PM
"and people will actually respond to you in a positive way"ReplyDelete
Carl, are you paying attention to this? As soon as you stop receiving positive feedback, that means that you have no reason to continue. How could it have been so simple, yet inarticulated for so long?
God, how many sleepless nights you must have spent, wondering whether your children's children would appreciate your contribution to art and criticism, and fearing that your muse may never get the hint. Fret not, for the ideas are transient and unimportant in our soft, pink thinking organs! Words are a material thing; they can be denied and ignored. If people don't like you, just change until they do.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to Amazon. There's a page of search results for "habits of highly successful people" with my name on it.
- the_cuddlefishApril 12, 2009 at 6:17 PM
"I mean I think people who tell us we wouldn't dare say what we say here to him in person is the same as us calling Randy a creeper based on his creeper comics, which is WRONG WRONG WRONG we are so wrong why are we extrapolating on ONE ASPECT of what we see?"ReplyDelete
I just can't get my head around what this sentence means. I know it has a sensible meaning, it's just... perhaps that fact it's 2.16am has something to do with it.
Also, @poore, glad we got that cleared up. Can I call you a twat now?
(Seriously, I don't think I can wait much longer. I have work to do.)
- the_cuddlefishApril 12, 2009 at 6:18 PM
(I was actually going to call poore a supreme douche, but then I realised that a) he probably isn't and b) i'm a coward.)ReplyDelete
okay sorry hon that was quite the run-on sentenceReplyDelete
So you know how we call Randall a creeper right? Cuz he writes creepy comics? And then you know how the cuddlefishes attack in waves of "WELL THAT IS JUST A COMIC you have no idea how much of his personality is in the comic itself"?
Okay now new subject, where Cuddlefishes wink and tell us that we would not dare say what we say here to Randall's face? That we hide behind the mask of the internet?
Okay I am saying those are on the same level of assumptions. Like us assuming that Randy is a creeper is the same as them assuming we are pussies. Us assuming Randy is creepy is based on his comics. Their assuming we are pussies is based on the fact that we use the Internet as our medium for complaints.
I feel like I am making even less sense now, even though it's 6:22 pm here! I did just wake up like four hours ago though, so...
Actually, I am a supreme douche. I pride myself on the fact that I am an unashamed asshole. IF you tell me I'm a dick, I'll say, "Yep," because I have no problems of self-delusion. I prefer to be honest about my incredible lack of tact and decency, because those are ideas I actively scorn. Fuck everyone's false modesty, masks of kindness, and attempts to appear more agreeable than they actually are - I'll shit all over your ideas and smile while doing it, but at least I'm honest about it, goddammit.
No, you're right to assume things about someone based on the media artifacts they produce. It's impossible to create an entirely impersonal work, as even the way in which you think about not making the work to unique to yourself will, inherently, be unique to yourself. It's the inescapable subjective nature of reality and existence.
In short, fuck everyone who thinks that you can't make assumptions about Randall's personality based on the comics he writes. You are deluded, naive dickwads and you annoy me.
And Amanda is still awesome.
No I actually do think Randall is a creeper based on what I've read in his comics and what I know of people who think they're nerdy. But I'm saying that the people that accuse us of not being able to tell Randy his comics suck are being hypocritical if they don't think the slightest possibility exists that Randy's creepy.ReplyDelete
But yay for honesty! I too believe in presenting myself as a huggy person who is very bitchy when tired or hungry. In short, I am a really tall baby.
poore you fill me with feelings of happiness.
A comment on the actual post: I am amused that I think it's okay for C&H to churn out shitty comics and I'm not sure why? I think because it's a daily webcomic and also because the guys are pretty upfront when they make comics while drunk and/or five minutes before midnight. Plus they were never like truly great, that I remember, just a webcomic with a few really unexpectedly wonderful strips...
god you guys I'm going to kill blogger
Alright, fine. You can make assumptions about an artist's personality from what they write. But you're fairly likely to be wrong. XKCD might even be more personal than a lot of things, since it's the work of one man, and it's verbal. I suppose what I really don't understand is making petty negative assumptions about someone based on tenuous evidence. It seems, well, a bit petty.ReplyDelete
I mean, all the "Randall is egotistical" talk seems to stem from "this stick figure character has a positive quality and doesn't wear a hat. It must be Randall, and the point of the comic is that he's awesome. What a jerk."
Granted, I may have simplified that a touch. And I've been assured several times that I don't understand the cathartic vision of the blog. But that doesn't mean I have to like it.
Well, if he only occasionally produced comics featuring characters that demonstrated creepy/egotistical/annoying personality traits, or that implied the author possessed such traits, or that the author, at the very least, approved of such traits, then I would agree with you.
Unfortunately, in his blog, through his comics, and, if Rob's testimony is to be believed, in real life, Randall has demonstrated the personality traits we here at "xkcd sucks" often criticize him for on a fairly regular basis. That's what we call "evidence", and if you believe that assertions backed up with evidence are petty, then...well, you're wrong. I don't know how else to say it.
That being said, I'm glad you agree that just because you understand something doesn't mean you have to like it, because that's about 90% of the reason this blog exists. We understand xkcd, and I believe I understand Randall as well, but I don't have to like it/him.
- StephenApril 12, 2009 at 9:30 PM
Wow. This basically was my core objection, and now I totally understand and empathize with what you're doing. Before, I was all, "why the hell is this guy putting so much effort into commenting on a bad comic?" Now, I understand where you're coming from.ReplyDelete
Unfortunately, now much of the entertainment in reading this blog is lost -- I'm the sort who enjoys reading things he disagrees with or doesn't understand. It's funny, because after xkcd became too boring to read, I still kept up with it via xkcdsucks. Now, I think there's really nothing encouraging me to follow any of this anymore.
Congradulations, carl, mission accomplished! With one person, anyway.
- AnonymousApril 12, 2009 at 11:10 PM
Pat, when no characters have an actual identity of their own (beyond what's on their heads), it is pretty much assumed that they all speak for the author.ReplyDelete
poore: Mostly the creepy ones. The arrogant ones come mostly from the comic, though, especially the obvious "I made this to sell a poster" comics. We think he is arrogant because he acts arrogant, with his comic, and he has an echo chamber where people do nothing but praise him. Which I don't consider a character flaw: most people get a sort of power trip when they are roundly admired.ReplyDelete
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 1:15 AM
I am not saying you would not dare to tell Randal that his comics suck. I´d say you would come to his face and tell him that he is a godamn creeper who gets an orgasm everytime someone mentions python and sucks so hard that the air around him is basically absent etc.
So be as direct as you want but no one of you can convince me that they would insult people this hard in real life everytime someone has a different opinion.
Although the new comic sucks hard and Randall is a dip shit for using the same lame idea.
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 1:16 AM
I meant of course "I´d say you would NOT... etc."ReplyDelete
You obviously don't know me in real life.
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 9:52 AM
What a shame, you should visit me sometime. I am a psychologist so we could talk about your supressed feelings of anger^^
They're not very suppressed. Also, I think you're a pretty terrible psychologist if you believe assessing someone's personality solely through a few blog comments will produce accurate results.
Haha, "I'm a psychologist." What are you, a first year psych student? Second year? Doesn't whatever shitty school you went to teach you that you NEVER EVER EVER diagnose people casually? That is the first thing every psych student learns. Did you skip that day? Or are you just starting spring quarter and you haven't gotten to that yet?ReplyDelete
- the_cuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 11:15 AM
It is an important rule.ReplyDelete
"sorry, sir, you can't have your money back."
"well in that case, i'm sorry, sir, you have psychopathia."
"erm... no I don't."
"everyone STEP BACK FROM THE MADMAN"
(also: contrast the "everyone learns this stuff" message of this thread with the "not everyone learns this stuff" message of today's thread)
I would say that people who voice their opinions outright have much less hidden anger than people who don't voice their opinions...ReplyDelete
Oh also what the hell kind of a shit psychologist uses it as a weapon in arguments on the internet? "Ha ha, I am a psychologist, I am using this knowledge to point out that YOU HAVE SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU." I mean, seriously, if you were actually a psychologist there are so many ethical violations going on here--you should not be doing therapy. And if you're a research psychologist you really don't have any sort of special knowledge. Basically you're an idiot and also a dick.ReplyDelete
It kinda reminds me of the Yggdrasil-worshiper or whatever he was a few months back.ReplyDelete
Yes! Except the Yggdrasil worshiper was just a comical neo-pagan, this fellow is actually loathsome. Yggdrasil was like foreshadowing or some suchReplyDelete
So, the way I see it, judging an author/artist's personality (especially in negative terms) through their work is not that different than making psychological diagnoses based on someone's blog comments. XKCD provides a larger sample, but it seems to me a difference of degree. Blog comments tend to be more direct than a comic, at least.ReplyDelete
Now, since Rob claims more personal knowledge of Randall's creepiness, I have nothing to dispute that. I don't read it so much from the comics, although some of them are creepy. He may well be a bit of a creep, although I still maintain it's bad criticism, in a formal sense. There have been plenty of good artists with major personal flaws, after all, and most likely plenty of lousy artists who are great folks to hang out with.
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 1:10 PM
"Haha, "I'm a psychologist." What are you, a first year psych student? Second year? Doesn't whatever shitty school you went to teach you that you NEVER EVER EVER diagnose people casually?"ReplyDelete
Hate to bring this up, but seriously do you guys ever heard of irony or humor something like that.
I mean why on earth would you think I meant that seriously?
But thanks for proving my point anyway, because there is no way in hell no matter what you say that you would call me a dick and an idiot just because I tried to be ironic and failed in real life.
Most certainly you would say "I don´t get that" or "Is that supposed to be funny?".
But in the internets you say things like these because you don´t see the real person behind the comments.
You just hate away not seeing that I actually agree with you about creepy Randall and what not.
And although I am an economical psychologist and do not fucking care about other peoples feelings, I just fire their asses.
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 1:20 PM
Not necessarily if you voice your oppinion but fill it with profanitys and overeact to a degree not appropiate to the matter you are obviously angry about something but not about the matter at hand. Thus you are not releasing really releasing your anger. Supressed anger can only be vented by adressing the matter that really causes you to be angry not by venting it at totally unrelated things.
Keep in mind though that this is still not diagnosing poore but just a random observation because I am a douche who needs things to be correct. Story of my life keep correcting people and one day you will be hanged but never thanked.
- the_sagefishApril 13, 2009 at 1:42 PM
Maybe you should stop correcting people.ReplyDelete
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 1:43 PM
You would think it´s that easy, but it aint.ReplyDelete
First law of the Internet: It is impossible to say something so stupid that people won't believe you are serious. Irony is a matter of expectations, and the bar for anonymous Internet discussion is very, very low.ReplyDelete
More succinctly: "Shitcock!"
Actually I have a visceral loathing of psych students who believe they have special insight into the human condition and start psychoanalyzing people in the midst of a conversation and I usually start cursing at them and telling them they are useless pieces of human shit, in person, when they make their little "ha ha only serious" jokes. It is one of the most loathsome things it is possible for a psych student to do, and this is choosing from a very large pool.ReplyDelete
Pat: there is a difference between casually analyzing someone and claiming special insight because of your psych studies or other special skill you have. Nobody on here is really claiming special insight. Even I'm willing to give Randy the benefit of the doubt--he might not actually be a creep so much as he just happens to write a famous webcomic obviously inspired by people he knows--obviously that will make people uncomfortable.
We're here to entertain ourselves. When you claim special insight you are a dick and should die, in a fire.
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 2:10 PM
I actually share your sentiment about psych students who just "know" that you want to shaq your mama because you like tuna sandwich. Or some shit like that. I am an economical psych and as said I dont care to analyze others and their problems and anyone who does clearly has no life of his own.
So yeah I wish them a life of pain too but I am just too nice a person to actually say it.
- AnonymousApril 13, 2009 at 2:17 PM
What the merciful fuck is an "economical psychologist?" Is that just a fancy term for someone who misapplies psychology to explain peoples' bad monetary decisions?ReplyDelete
The worst part was almost dating a psych student. (A few, actually, because I never learn.ReplyDelete
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 2:36 PM
If you really wanna know google it but just to help you out here, it means that people like me try to apply knowledge about human behavior and group interactions to improve certain structurs and procedures in companys. Human resouces is the main field.
You should never ever do that. The girls are the worst most of them want to become therapists so they constantly try to change and analyze you and to top it of they have most of the problems they see in others themselves.
- AnonymousApril 13, 2009 at 2:37 PM
Like you?ReplyDelete
Winky Cuddlefish: sweetheart, I would have called you a dick in real life. I am being totally honest and totally serious here, I would probably have said "ha ha that was a dumbass thing to say, now stop being a dick."ReplyDelete
I feel like there are two Winky Cuddlefishes? One who tries to speak English and fails, and the other who tries to mistakenly assume we are not as obnoxious as we seem despite all other claims to the contrary.
Well anyway the idea of what is "appropriate to the matter" is subjective, no? Like who decides how mad you are allowed to become? And also I feel like you trying to continuously correct people can't be any healthier than overreacting. Aren't both just issues with not being able to let things go?
In my case it is an issue with being bored and stubborn, also feeling like it is rude to ignore someone even when they are a jerkface jerk.ReplyDelete
Yes, I believe it is more rude to not respond than to say "YOU ARE A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH THE WORLD WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIED."
sometimes i have problems
rob i agree and do not think you have problemsReplyDelete
okay maybe a few but not in this regard?
- AnonymousApril 13, 2009 at 3:26 PM
I got 99 problems but drawin' a stick figure pseudo-humor webcomic ain't oneReplyDelete
- Winky CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 3:40 PM
There is just me, I fail at english because well that is not my native language. And I try to think you are not as obnoxious as it seems you are because I am naive.
Not two pretenders just one German cuddlefish who likes things to be exact.
- CuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 5:47 PM
You did not just compare me to Wanky Cuddlefish and William Faulkner at the same time, did you? I am not your two-douche salad, ma'am.ReplyDelete
Good day.
- the_cuddlefishApril 13, 2009 at 6:11 PM
"In my case it is an issue with being bored and stubborn, also feeling like it is rude to ignore someone even when they are a jerkface jerk."ReplyDelete
I like to imagine that you gradually ran out of power as that sentence wore on, with you typing away madly and then slloooowwwlllly fffaaadddiiinng to a diminuendo with "...jerkface jerk."
I have problems too. Sometimes I write about them on the Internet.
Cuddlefish are you talking to me? I am wondering because you say ma'am but uh someone compared you to William Faulkner? I CAN'T EVEN TELL WHO YOU ARE so that makes no sense to me.ReplyDelete
"I am just too nice a person to actually say it."
"And I try to think you are not as obnoxious as it seems you are because I am naive."
Comments like that let us all know you are not nice at all, nor are you naive. You are hiding your feelings and being condescending.
the_cuddlefish, writing about your problems on the Internet is always the best idea.
Amanda is always right and if you don't agree with her you're probably uncool to the extreme. Or a huge gay.ReplyDelete
(Note: if you don't click the link, then the seemingly prejudiced statement will make less sense. So you should click it. Stupid.)
Of course, you could just be an attention whore, whoever-is-writing-this-blog.ReplyDelete
I'm done.
Dear Krums: there is this wonderful thing called a byline. It tells you who wrote a post.ReplyDelete
have I not told you I am an attention whore before? ok well whatever I AM AN ATTENTION WHORE but also I am not sure if this internet-attention actually counts.ReplyDelete
- Fursecuted FoolMay 3, 2009 at 11:15 PM
"Carl" needs some timeoff. WHY MUST YOU PEOPLE DEMAND SO MUCH FOR SO LITTLE FROM HIM? WHY?ReplyDelete


text:
WORCESTER, Mass. — A magistrate judge on Monday agreed to release a friend of Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev from federal custody while he awaits trial for allegedly lying to federal investigators probing the bombings.
Robel Phillipos, 19, was charged last week with lying to investigators about visiting Tsarnaev's college dorm room after the bombings. The University of Massachusetts Dartmouth student faces a maximum of eight years in prison if convicted.
Prosecutors initially asked that Phillipos be held while he awaits trial, arguing that he poses a serious flight risk. But both sides said in the court motion filed Monday they agreed that Phillipos should be released on $100,000 bond, be confined to home and wear an electronic monitoring bracelet.
Assistant U.S Attorney John Capin said documents filed by Phillipos' defense attorneys, including many affidavits showing support from family and friends, might be viewed as indirectly questioning the government's case against Phillipos.
"The government stands by its allegations," Capin said.
Magistrate Judge Marianne Bowler agreed to the strict house arrest during a hearing Monday afternoon. She told Phillipos he was allowed to leave the house only for meetings with his lawyers or true emergencies.
A huge crowd of supports, including Phillipos' relatives, friends and grade-school principal, showed up to the courthouse for the detention hearing. It was not immediately clear when Phillipos would be released.

subset: commoncrawl


text:
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Renewed Norwich cathedral unveiled
Norwich — An ordination Mass has been cause for a major celebration in the Catholic faith for centuries, but at the Cathedral of St. Patrick today, the 10:30 a.m. Mass to ordain Father Brian Maxwell will be especially colorful as the first major event since the scaffolding that filled the cathedral was removed.
Beginning in late December, the cathedral interior was encased in scaffolding and plywood that hid from view a major restoration and renovation project, called SPIRIT, funded through the anonymous donation of a parishioner.
SPIRIT — St. Patrick Cathedral is Restored in Tradition — is 98 percent complete, diocese spokesman Michael Strammiello said, with scaffolding now lining only the front sanctuary.
A Mass of Thanksgiving is planned for 10:30 a.m. on July 27 to celebrate the restoration, along with the diocese's 60th anniversary, the 140th anniversary of the laying of the cathedral's foundation stone, and The Most Rev. Michael Cote's 10th anniversary as the bishop of Norwich.
The cathedral is awash in color. Maroon columns bear gold stencils that match the border trim along the walls. The Stations of the Cross now bear wooden frames that match the pews and confessional booths.
Above, a sky-blue ceiling brings out the artwork in the cream-colored decorative ribbing beams that crisscross to the ceiling's peak. At each intersection is a "boss," each with an iconic, deeply Catholic symbol. Colorful murals depicting scenes of Christ's life adorn the high walls.
"(Today) is the first really large celebratory Mass in a nearly completely restored cathedral," Strammiello said.
Today's Mass is open to the public, but participants won't be the first to see the unveiled restoration. Father Tom Albrecht welcomed the new look at Friday's noon Mass.
"Because there is no more scaffolding and men tromping up and down, I can finally preach," Albrecht said to the several dozen Mass attendees.
Rick LaPierre of Norwich, who attends Mass daily at St. Patrick, said the restoration puts St. Patrick on par with the great cathedrals in Europe.
"It's incredible. Absolutely spectacular," he said after Friday's Mass. "I think this place rivals anything in Europe. I've been to Europe. This is the prettiest cathedral I have ever been in."
Sara O'Hearn, also a regular parishioner, called it a "Renaissance church come to Norwich."
Father Gregory Galvin, vocational director for the diocese and spiritual administrator at St. Bridget of Kildare in Moodus, hopes today's ordination brings another renaissance for the diocese — an increase in the number of priests.
Galvin said the diocese now has nine men attending seminary schools, including one studying in Rome, nearly twice the number attending seminary school five years ago, Galvin said.
Maxwell, originally from Maine, knew Bishop Cote and contacted him six years ago about his calling, Galvin said. Bishop Cote has not yet announced where Maxwell will be assigned.
The diocese hopes to hold two more ordination Masses next year, and in October, seminarian Jonathan Ficara, who is studying in Rome, is expected to be ordained as a transitional deacon, meaning he intends to become a priest in the near future.
The dwindling number of priests in the Catholic Church has been publicized worldwide. Former Pope Benedict XVI more than two years ago asked for a year of prayer for more priests. In the Diocese of Norwich, Bishop Cote called for an hour of prayer per month for priests. The hour of prayer now rotates to different parishes each month, coming to the Cathedral of St. Patrick each May.
The hour of prayer was held Friday night on the eve of Maxwell's ordination, Galvin said.
He said he has traveled the diocese asking parishioners to become more aware of when a local man might be interested in the priesthood.
"It really takes everyone to identify and support and notice an individual who has a calling," he said. "Usually, a call is such a private call and humbling, and they often don't always speak about it themselves. When someone else sees it and talks about it, he might feel comfortable talking about it."
Fitch's Amara Robinson: from broken back to all-state cheerleader
Trump emergency declaration faces uncertain fate in coming court fight
Trump Organization scraps plans for two hotel chains, blaming politics


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text:
By Ed Patino
JONESVILLE � With a chance to take control of the Big Eight Conference title race, the Jonesville High School wrestling team responded in a big way.
Starting fast and finishing strong, the Comets made a big statement Wednesday with a convincing 55-24 victory over the Homer Trojans in a Big Eight dual.
Jonesville entered the day 3-1 in the conference, while Homer came in 4-0 in the league. With the victory, the Comets moved into the first-place tie and holds the tiebreaker with the Trojans. With the dual tied 18-18, Jonesville won the next seven matches to pull away.
"This is a huge win, and we had some freshmen come through for us big," Jonesville coach Mickey Rowe said. "I was telling the kids all week that it could come down to one match. The kids are gelling and starting to believe, and to come out and win like this reinforces that."
After the teams exchanged voids in the first two matches, Jonesville took an early lead with two pins. Freshman Jacob Stiles (119) pinned Garrett Warner in 4:49, then Carter Ballinger (125) caught Homer's Matt Banks for a pin at the 3:22 mark, giving the Comets an 18-6 lead.
The Trojans received a void in the next match, then Shawn Hoaglin (135) pulled Homer into an 18-18 tie after he pinned David Fairbanks in 3:04.
Jonesville regained the lead with a void at 140 pounds, then Joe Rodriguez outlasted Homer's Wyatt Stout for a 2-0 decision in the 145-pound bout. Two matches later, freshman Dylan Fairbanks (160) recorded a pin against Dakota Waring in 5:29, giving the Comets a 39-18 lead.
"Our motto has been 'be better tomorrow' and the kids are believing in that," Rowe said.
Sebastian Cousins clinched the dual for Jonesville in the 171-pound match. A big third period sent Cousins to a 10-0 major decision over John Bangert, putting the Comets up 43-18.
"This was Sebastian's first match down at that weight," Rowe said. "He had been up at 189, but was our third best guy at that weight. He could be a starter at 171, and he's lost 30 pounds since the start of the year. His win tonight was huge."
Jonesville's Michael Sharp (189) pinned Brandon Tackett in 2:38, then Jon Rodriguez (215) pinned James Blair in 3:07, making it 55-18. Homer's Tyler Prater closed out the night by defeating William Corbin with 0.6 seconds remaining in the heavyweight match.
"Homer has some good kids up top, and I think Jon's big win at 215 kind of sent a message," Rowe said.
Jonesville will turn its attention to Saturday's Super 16 Individual Tournament at Hudson.
Comets fly into first


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text:
When, as a sixth-grade 4-H project, Patt Dorsey built a goose box to protect the then-scarce Canada goose from predators, she made a career choice.
I was hooked. I wanted to go to college and be a wildlife manager, Dorsey said recently. I never wanted to be a ballerina for which Im sure a lot of people are thankful.
Today, Dorsey is the southwest regional manager for Colorado Parks and Wildlife in Durango. She was named to the position Friday after 10 years as regional wildlife manager. The promotion means she will supervise six state parks as well as wildlife in a region that stretches from the Utah state line to the Sangre de Cristo Mountains to the east and includes the Gunnison Basin and the Montrose-Delta area.
She also is the Colorado recipient of the 2012 Wildlife Officer of the Year Award from Shikar-Safari Club International.
Its the first time the award, given since 1952 in each state, has gone to a woman in Colorado. The club promotes hunting and wildlife conservation.
Dorseys childhood home was outside Loveland, but she spent weekends, holidays and summers on her grandparents farm in Proctor on the plains in Colorados northeast corner.
My grandmother was a great naturalist and an inspiration to me, Dorsey said. She could name every songbird, and she knew every animal by its tracks.
She recalled her grandmothers stories about how hunting and fishing kept the family alive during the Great Depression.
Dorsey started hunting with her father and grandfather when she was 9 years old and remains a keen hunter today.
I hunt more now with a bow than a rifle, Dorsey said. Bow season gives me more days 28 in the field.
In 1985, Dorsey received a degree in wildlife biology from Colorado State University. Her career with Colorado Parks and Wildlife began in 1991 as a district wildlife manager in Boulder. Six years later, she moved to the agencys education section in Denver as a special-projects coordinator and then became statewide hunter-education administrator.
Dorsey came to Durango in 2003 as area wildlife manager to supervise a staff of 15, including wildlife managers, biologists and administrative workers.
She still likes to get outdoors, despite her oversight duties.
Dorsey recently drove west of Durango to the Perins Peak State Wildlife Area, which right now is closed to the public in order to provide an undisturbed winter home for elk and deer.
She looked for tracks in the snow that would indicate how many antlered visitors were there, and she was on the alert for trespassers. When times are tough, she said, horse owners who cant afford to buy hay sometimes have released stock into the wildlife area.
I love being here in the winter, Dorsey said. In the summer, we know what ought to be here, but in the winter, we know what is here.
In his letter to Shikar-Safari nominating Dorsey for the award, Bob Thompson, assistant chief of law enforcement for Colorado Parks and Wildlife, described her as enthusiastic, approachable, creative, humble, open-minded and motivational.
She has been at the forefront of numerous challenges and changes where her personal and professional qualities have allowed her to stand out, Thompson said.
Patt worked through many challenges and frustrations involving permitting of oil and gas facilities, and was instrumental in the conception, development and negotiations of a conservation-based wildlife-mitigation plan with British Petroleum.
Her vision, effort and support helped create a mountain lion exhibit that was seen by over 15,000 people at the Center for Southwest Studies at Fort Lewis College. This exhibit continues to travel to museums around the U.S.
Dorsey doesnt want to be known only for her professional role or as a hunter.
I have a garden, do bead work and raise chickens, she said.
She also volunteers for workshops at least twice a year with Conservation Leadership for Tomorrow, a professional-development program for graduate and undergraduate students in natural resources.
The Shikar-Safari award was an honor because the recognition comes from peers.
There are a lot of great wildlife officers in Colorado, and Im proud to be one of them, she said.


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You can view details of this vehicle by entering this Audi Code into the Search function or at your Audi dealer.
Phone: +1-604-279-9663
Stock # QG2091
This website is operated by Audi Canada. All content and information contained at this website is intended for Canada only, unless otherwise indicated. The content and/or information contained on this website may be changed at any time without prior notice or obligation. Audi Canada makes no warranties or representations as to the accuracy of this content and information. All prices¹ shown on this website are the Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price (MSRP), are provided exclusively by Audi Canada for informational purposes only, and do not represent dealer pricing. All pricing information is expressed in Canadian dollars (unless otherwise indicated). Dealers are free to set their own retail selling prices. Please contact your preferred Audi dealer for specific vehicle inquiries and dealer pricing details. Your preferred Audi dealer may be able to source any vehicle viewed on this site or custom order a vehicle that meets your requirements.
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Check out features and options on the 2015 C-Class.
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Jaguar shows off the U.S. spec Project 7 at Pebble Beach.
Ford and DTE will team up to build a solar-powered carport at the Dearborn Campus.
Chevy's cargo van arrives later this year to compete with Ford.
Toyota debuts a second version of its hot new supercar.
General Motors spends $174 million to expand its Lansing Grand River plant.
Caterham builds Seven models specifically for the U.S.


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Monday, April 11, 2011
Mystery Noodle Experiment: Operation Crepenoodlespaetzlecini
55 comments:
Whatever you'll call them, I'll give that a try, these look fantastic.
- April 11, 2011 at 8:11 PM
How about, get a big glob of guacamole, shove a couple olive eyeballs in the front and give it some celery feet, candy-corn teeth and cinnamon stick arms, and sprinkle this stuff on it like HAIR?? Then you can be even more confused when it comes to life at 3am and starts slowly opening your bedroom door, oooo... confuuuuusing. It could be called guacolivelery cornnamonacrepenoodlespaetzlecini, I *think.
- April 11, 2011 at 8:19 PM
Hey John, you could make some more batter and fry those in it for a texture contrast(hash browns come to mind with a hidden crunch). They would probably make a good casserole topping too. ;)
- April 11, 2011 at 8:20 PM
Chef John, I think youre on your way to making a wesern form of murukku which is an indian savory snack. All you need is an extruder or piping bag and more oil for shallow deep frying.
- April 11, 2011 at 9:19 PM
- neurocosm said...
ooh! Instead of grated cheese, how about sugar, and caramelize it, and make a Carmel pasta snack! (or or or) even, take that and use it as a garnish on ice cream! (or or or), if you can somehow make the batter THINNER, and cut them thinner, you can use them in some spicy creamy gravy thing..... or maybe not :)
- April 11, 2011 at 9:39 PM
- bigd said...
chef john u should try them for a topping over shrimp fried rice instead of chinese fried noodles, dont have a name for them but i think you are on the right track
- April 11, 2011 at 10:35 PM
Not exactly sure what they are...but I like how your creative juices were flowing. These did give me an idea for a crepey noodley breakfast, perhaps served with a chocolatey nutella sauce of some sort...a different texture from the traditional rolled up crepe!
- April 11, 2011 at 10:43 PM
In Germany and Austria crepe strips are often used as a kind of soup garnish for consommés and such. This looks similar, but more noodley. I think I should give this a try to see if it's actually comparable! Definitely looks interesting.
- April 11, 2011 at 10:53 PM
the first glaring question not addressed herein was how did ze noodles taste?
kinda like a superfragilisticexpialidocious taste treat?
as not knowing how they tasted but the image of a strawberry whipped cream bavarian noodle sounded yummy!
- April 11, 2011 at 11:18 PM
- Mary C. said...
I guess my question is..."does it taste good?" Is it sweet or salty maybe a little of both? How about you call it confetti strings! It looks like a snack and something you can bring to a party, just add some spicy queso sauce and you're ready for some good times.
- April 11, 2011 at 11:47 PM
- Razors Edge said...
That is Splatzle... its a traditional Hungarian way to make noodles. My grandmother showed me how make these years ago, except with regular flour.
- April 12, 2011 at 12:18 AM
I don't know. Nice creative process. And I like the pancakes.
But these things look a little like they went maybe one (or two)steps too far? If they were longer, then maybe weave them into a lattice structure and ... uh, I don't know, maybe deep fried and then dusted with powdered sugar and topped with melted chocolate covered strawberries? Yikes.
But, as always, lots of fun to watch and learn! Keep going!
- April 12, 2011 at 1:46 AM
- Lua said...
You didn't mention if you liked it. Looked good though. But name, no clue, call it crispies (or anything else not denoting what kind of dish it is, just one of its characteristics)
- April 12, 2011 at 3:17 AM
- April 12, 2011 at 4:14 AM
I'm surprised! In the USA you know the german word "Spätzle"? You live and learn. Best regards from Germany.
- April 12, 2011 at 4:43 AM
I agree with what Pantalone suggested ... powered sugar, etc. Yum!
- April 12, 2011 at 6:11 AM
- Anne-Marie said...
as soon as i saw these fusion noodles i thought about Mi Krop : a Thai dish made with crispy noodles and a sweet and citrus-y sauce.
you may have invented the alternative to Thai rice crispy noodles, for those parts of the world too far from Thailand and rice-flour-less - yum.
- April 12, 2011 at 7:42 AM
Cut them thinner and use them for decoration or instead of noodles in a soup. :)
- April 12, 2011 at 7:45 AM
I'm glad Chef John doesn't have the good sense not to film what he's cooking :)
- April 12, 2011 at 10:39 AM
In the Steryan province of Austria these are called something like "palerschinken". You don't fry them but put them in soup.
- April 12, 2011 at 11:07 AM
- Julie said...
If I were you, I would have probably called them "crouton's skinny cousins" and added them as a crispy topping to soups and salads...Ta ta!
- April 12, 2011 at 11:29 AM
- meho said...
Nobody fries Spätzle...
Greetings from Germany ^^
- April 12, 2011 at 11:31 AM
I am originally from Austria, and such thin crepes are known there as Palatschinken.
Palatschinken are made from a batter as shown in the video, except one usually does not use semolina, but regular all-purpose flour. Palatschinken usually are VERY thin, and they are served rolled up and filled either sweet (various preserves, vanilla cream, etc) or savory (ham, cheese, etc).
Palatschinken can also be cut into thin noodles (I usually use left-over ones), and served in a clear broth as soup. Such a soup is known in Austria as Frittatensuppe. You will find it in most restaurants.
If you google "Palatschinken" or "Frittatensuppe," you will find recipes and images.
Chef John, from a fan of yours, many thanks for numerous inspiring recipes! - Wolfgang
- April 12, 2011 at 12:40 PM
At first I thought they were some type of french fries, and then I realize they're supposed to be some kind of noodles.. they look good.. but not sure how they'll taste.. I'd love to watch more experiments and whole heartedly agree with Zac :D
- April 12, 2011 at 1:21 PM
- Daveyboy said...
- April 12, 2011 at 5:35 PM
- May Shanshan said...
Heyy Chief John, I love your way of making this noodle! I just have a quick reply to your doubt on whether fried noodles have ever been invented, and the answer is -YES! As a Chinese, I can guarantee you that fried noodles (not those stir-fry noodles, really deep fried noodles) history can be traced back to thousand years ago! Here is the pictures I searched from google, you don't need to understand the Chinese words I typed, but you could see how those deep-fried noodles look like! enjoy!
- April 12, 2011 at 5:39 PM
we made them...drizzled some warmed up raspberry jam on them...then a dusting of powdered sugar...tasty fried dessert :-)
- April 12, 2011 at 7:12 PM
- Troy said...
kind of like fried won ton strips?
- April 12, 2011 at 7:15 PM
- theo said...
i am sure that my brother has done the exact same thing before....but he was stoned at the time.
looks like a great topping for a taco soup.
- April 12, 2011 at 10:15 PM
- Meagan said...
You know what I think? I think you are amazing! =D Those look delicious and I think they could be used as an awesome side dish... kind of like pasta french fries? Only I feel like they could go with Italian, American, Chinese, and German food. Particularly German food. I'd love to see you come up with a recipe involving using these as a side dish. *is already starting to brain storm*. I dont know, but I think you are brilliant!
- April 12, 2011 at 11:26 PM
- me said...
Nice :)
try to boil a bit before frying and there you have a testaroli/panigacci egg version.
by the way: Im goin to try!
- April 13, 2011 at 9:15 AM
- Shreela said...
Leave out the sugar and put savory herbs in it, to put on my salad or soup ^_^
- April 13, 2011 at 9:46 AM
- Daniel Bottoms said...
I think someone already posted this thought, as i didn't read all the comments, so forgive the repeat if it is:
That looks just like what you get in boulon soups (consumee?) in Austria. My kid loves to eat those things floating in a nice hot bowl of beef stock. I'm pretty sure they are not fried, however!
what about name: Semi-nood-ola?
- April 13, 2011 at 10:50 AM
- Chef John said...
Thanks to everyone for all the ideas and suggestions!! Semi-nood-ola? lol
- April 13, 2011 at 10:59 AM
- Nicholas said...
Shoestring pasta crepe fries?
- April 13, 2011 at 11:01 AM
- eXtreme said...
look like my over-baked potato chips
you might put it in a bags and sell them
- April 13, 2011 at 5:06 PM
- Jim said...
The batter reminds me of crespelle except that the crespelle recipe I know uses regular flour.
- April 14, 2011 at 12:59 AM
Now THAT was funny!
- April 14, 2011 at 10:43 AM
Just call them "crispy critters."
- April 15, 2011 at 7:21 PM
- EasilyEnthused said...
Chef John,
I've been reading you and following you for years. This is the point at which you went from internet cooking guide to true cuisine guru.
Best chef ever.
Charlotte, NC
- April 19, 2011 at 10:52 PM
Chef John, I was just searching the web for recipes for things I could take to a Wagner marathon (opera anyone?) and I ran across this http://www.letscookgerman.com/dishes/shredded-pancake-kaiserschmarrn.html It sounds exactly like your invention!!! BTW can you suggest anything appropriate to make to bring to a German opera marathon??? Thanks! Margery
- April 24, 2011 at 3:17 PM
Reminds me very much of Viennese fritatten. Crepe like pancakes (the thrifty cook uses leftover pancakes from lunch or dinner the day before) are rolled and cut into fritatten (like the noodles in your recipe). Only instead of being fried the fritatten are put into beef broth and eaten as fritatten soup
- July 24, 2011 at 4:56 PM
Hi John,
well i think you can call this a kind of "kaiserschmarrn" which has the same ingrediends like pancakes (excl. raisins) and is made like them only difference is that the pancakes get shredderd after baking
greeds from germany
chiabatta no knead ROCKS..BTW the first piece of the bread shape reminds the venetian gondola boats thats why that call it like that
- October 27, 2011 at 11:01 PM
Just for the record, "spaetzle" is pronounced more like "spet-shleh". Interesting idea, your noodle-y thing.
- November 5, 2011 at 1:37 AM
Oops. I meant "schpet-shleh". My mistake.
- November 5, 2011 at 1:38 AM
- Antara Roy said...
Hey Chef Jhon,
these noodles are a great recipe for chinese classic sweet dish, honey crispy noodles... i tried drizzling in honey and few nuts.. a healthy alternative to refined flour noodles.. :)
- January 4, 2012 at 2:12 AM
Hey Chef John,
Just saw the video and it was hilarious! If the batter isn't to sweet nor salty you could perhaps wrap the hybrid noodles (before you fried it) around something (aka prawn) and fry it off afterwards! :D
- January 16, 2012 at 1:07 AM
How about just serving it with a drizzle of liquid caramel and some toasted sesame seeds and a dusting of powdered sugar :) eaten immediately ofcourse
- June 8, 2012 at 9:44 AM
- Michelle said...
fried noodle? put them on a salad like a crouton?
- September 16, 2012 at 8:30 PM
- BigMike said...
Shoestring Spaetzloni
- December 30, 2012 at 11:03 PM
- joseph kalouch said...
oodwishes this reminded me of middle eastern vermicelli..where actually originally came from China through the old silk-road. in Farsi it's known as Reshte...in Lebanese we call it Shireye...we use it when we make rice! you put a bit oil in the rice pot give it a bit of a fry and then u add the rinsed rice and pour water and mix it in put the pot on low heat until the rice is done! - that's what i think you invented. a version similar to Shireye!
- May 12, 2013 at 3:34 AM
- TheNinnyfee said...
If you made these with regular flour and maybe some herbs like parsley and cut them like you did, you would get "flaedle/frittaten", which are a southern German/Austrian pancake strips which you add to clear beef soup - usually without extra frying. Delicious and from the same region as spaetzle. :)
- May 28, 2013 at 5:38 PM
- Lin Sun said...
to me this really feels like 炒饼/chao bing, which is fried cut pancakes exactly, typically tossed with veggies, some form of protein, and spice it up with garlic, green onion, fresh green chilli peppers. Hope this helps
- July 4, 2017 at 11:19 AM
- Lin Sun said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- July 4, 2017 at 11:19 AM
- Lin Sun said...
- This comment has been removed by the author.
- July 10, 2017 at 4:12 PM


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It was what they'd all been waiting for. The Rapture.
For a short period of time the prices of Natural Wines skyrocketed. Demand far outstripped supply. It wasn't unheard of for a thirty dollar bottle to sell in excess of $300. But the winemaker had to have vanished May 16, 2013, the Day of The Rapture. That was what validated that the wines were genuinely "natural." Just as a painter's works jump in value upon his death, so the last of the true Natural Wines became priceless. Wines left behind in barrels were confiscated, moved to a central warehouse, and closely monitored by the government to ensure they weren't manipulated in any way. Professional critics were enlisted to periodically check the barrels to make absolutely sure they were reassuringly faulty and malodorous to normal people. Once bottled, without both sulfites and conscience, in tribute to the vanished winemakers, the wines were auctioned and the money distributed to the widows and children left behind by The Rapture.
Controversy and violent protests broke out in wine regions across the world. Hundreds and hundreds of winemakers who had declared their wines "natural" had been Left Behind. Left behind unjustly, they proclaimed. A spokeswoman emerged, the champion of the Natural Wine movement, and the maligned, still alive, natural winemakers rallied behind her, calling themselves The Feiring Squad.
"Our wines are natural," The Feiring Squad declared, "and we have the marketing material to prove it. Furthermore, our wines have been declared Natural, been declared Real, been declared Authentic by the experts empowered to declare them so. They have tasted the wines! Did the God who delivered The Rapture ever taste our wines? Who does He think he is? Robert Parker? He may be God, but He's no Robert Parker.
"We have been blessed by the writings of Alice, legitimized in the works of the Hobbit Jamie Goode, made real, like Pinocchio, by the Good Fairy Jeremy Parzen, and yet we remain. Our brothers and sisters who were taken from us during what is now referred to as The Wine Rapture most assuredly deserved their disappearances. I think every wine lover applauds their disappearance. But The Feiring Squad protests! We should have been taken too."
Some desperate winemakers, who had disingenuously declared their wines natural, went into hiding, pretending that they had vanished during The Rapture. They anonymously posted on popular wine blogs, declaring themselves "vanished" in an attempt to drive the prices of their wines higher, and to save their manufactured reputations. But most finally had to emerge from hiding and admit that they hadn't actually made Natural Wine in the first place. "I didn't really manipulate my wine that much," one said, as he was publicly humiliated and scorned, "I spent most of my time manipulating the press. I lied, I exaggerated, I hid a few facts, who did it hurt? If it weren't for that fucking Rapture, I'd still be a hero to the shitheads who believe in Natural Wine."
Husbands and wives left behind that fateful May Day in 2013 also formed an alliance, Spouses Overwhelmed Too, abbreviated SO2. SO2 members dressed exclusively in white and were invited to attend every serious winery's blessing of the Harvest, where they spoke of their beloved taken by The Rapture, their beloved's purity and devotion to wine, their lost partner's belief that only Nature and God can make wine that is worth drinking and that a winemaker doesn't need skill or discernment or a background in chemistry and viticulture to make wine, a winemaker just needs blind devotion to non-intervention and a really gullible mailing list. SO2 members were considered saints and clairvoyants, and wonderful paint ball targets.
The reward for those who had actually followed the rigorous standards of Natural Wine was being taken to Heaven by The Rapture. Those lucky few, one who had been having unnatural intercourse with a miniature sheep when he abruptly vanished, leaving ewe perplexed, and one who had been speaking at a winemaker dinner at a Vegan restaurant when he suddenly wasn't there any more, his audience turning pale and gaseous (in other words, unchanged), among others, would forever be revered as Natural Winemakers. No scientific explanation was ever offered for their massive disappearance. None was needed. God had called them home to tend his Heavenly vineyards, to make wine only for Him. God knows it wouldn't kill Him, anyway.
The Feiring Squad eventually disbanded, their pleas and excuses unheeded and disbelieved. Alice was left to write only obituaries, to beg to taste the last of the Natural Wines to have been auctioned off, to whither away into wine obscurity, alone with her inflatable Nicholas Joly doll, otherwise known as Nicholas Joly. SO2 became a mere footnote to The Rapture, their presence at an event a reminder of the basic dishonesty in the Natural Wine movement, their number so small compared to those who had lied and lied and yet whose spouses were never left behind.
Twenty years later it was back. Climate change was still on the world's back burner, the one that burns petroleum. Many of the large mammals of the world had gone extinct, including most NFL players. The oceans were rising faster than the water in Marvin Shanken's bathtub when he gets in. And Natural Wines, Real Wines, Authentic Wines returned.
But there was no Second Rapture. "Fuck 'em," God said, "if they're that stupid."


text:
The Three Rivers Young Champions cheerleaders rocked the Delta Plex in Grand Rapids this past weekend, bringing home three state championships and having two teams headed to national competition.
The Three Rivers teams attended regional competition Dec, 8, where four out of five teams qualified for the state competition.
The All-Star Division 4 and Elite Division 5 teams competed Saturday. Division 4 took first place in the medium-size category and earned a bid to nationals. The Elite team also took first place in the large-size category and also earned a bid to nationals.
On Sunday, Star Division 2 and All-Star Division 3 teams took the floor. Stars finished in third place in the large-size category and Division 3 took first place in the small-size category. The Division 4 All-Star team and Division 5 Elite team will attend nationals July 27 in Virginia Beach, Va.
The Young Champions program includes boys and girls from Three Rivers and many surrounding areas including Sturgis, Vicksburg, Marcellus, Colon, Mendon, and northern Indiana. Boys and girls on the teams range in age from 4-16. Cheerleaders practice once a week to learn full routines that include dance, cheer, stunts, jumps and tumbling.
"We offer classes for beginning through advanced students," said Coach Caroline Goodall. "For anyone interested in checking out our program, we will be accepting new cheerleaders at our Registration night on Feb. 7 at Hoppin Elementary in Three Rivers."
Ages 4-9 register at 6 p.m. and ages 10 and up register at 6:45 p.m. For more information, email Goodall at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Goodall began assistant coaching the Three Rivers Cheer teams in winter of 2008. In September of 2010, she took over the teams as head coach.
"I lived in Vicksburg when I started coaching, but moved to East Lansing to attend school at Michigan State University," she said. "Despite the long drive, I could not give up coaching in Three Rivers. I just love the kids way too much. Our team is like a big family."
Goodall said the cheerleaders "just love each other and it makes it that much more amazing to coach the teams and see how amazing they can perform together."
She has two assistants who help at every practice — Avey Lefler and Bailey Patterson help with cheer classes as well as instructing tumbling classes.
"They are both great with the kids and have just as much passion and love for the teams as I do," Goodall said. "Since I have coached in Three Rivers, our teams have continuously grown each season. But it seems the larger our teams get, the more talented they become, and the closer they bond with each other. Our cheerleaders work hard at practice, and are always practicing at home as well. They are far deserving of this amazing opportunity."
This is the first time that Three Rivers Division 4 team has qualified for nationals since 2009 and the first time that Three Rivers Division 5 team has ever qualified for nationals.
"Our program welcomes cheerleaders from beginning through advanced levels, and all cheerleaders have the opportunity to compete at competitions," Goodall said. "Each session our teams attend regional competition, and if they qualify they are able to attend state competition as well."
Young Champions teams earn trip to nationals
The Three Rivers Young Champions cheerleaders rocked the Delta Plex in Grand Rapids this past weekend, bringing home three state championships and having two teams headed to national competition.


text:
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