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The majority of online stores fold because they're unable to drive traffic.
For many starting ecommerce founders, there's a near single-minded focus when starting an online store that is almost entirely dedicated to finding and showcasing the right products.
The great ecommerce myth is that having the right products, a beautiful site design and stunning product photography is all that's necessary to get people to pull out their credit card and buy.
Now, to a certain extent this could be true, IF you're launching your site to a group of people who are interested in what you're doing in the first place.
However, the majority of stores aren't launching to the right people if anyone at all.
Starting on such an unstable foundation almost pre-determines the site to become a beautiful mausoleum for products that never find an owner.
This forces the founder to scramble to find buyers – heavily discounting products and creating marketing communications that sound more like begging and less like a confident, trustworthy brand that knows what they're doing.
Secure Your Audience Before You Launch Your Store
But what if we flipped this around?
What if you built an audience before going through the hassle of taking a million product photos and writing clever SEO optimized product descriptions?
What if instead of launching your store and hoping people will come, you launched only once you confidently knew that 5, 10, or 20,000+ people will be exposed to your site on launch day?
Sound crazy?
It's what Fab.com did before they went live:
It's what Stripe did before they went live:
It's what Harry's Razors and plenty of others have done before going live:
The idea is quite simple: don't launch the store until you've secured the audience.
But how is that possible?
You may notice that each of these companies are using "coming soon" pages that ask for an email address. That's part of it, but it's not the full story.
You might point out that some use a referral marketing program, and that helps, but that's not where the real magic is happening either.
And even though Harry's co-founder Jeff Raider shares the exact step-by-step process they used to launch to 100,000 email subscribers in a week on Tim Ferriss's blog, even this post is a little misleading.
If You Want to Build A Sizable Pre-Launch Audience… Start Early
The real "secret" to collecting 100,000 emails in a single week is hidden in plain sight in this paragraph (emphasis mine)
"Ahead of our launch, Andy and I spent a couple of months meeting friends, entrepreneurs and virtually anyone else who would listen to us talk about Harry's. Whether or not they were interested in razors, we tried to interest them in our story. That list of people was probably a couple hundred long by our launch, and we created the campaign to help that group of people publicly share in the excitement of our launch."
Catch that?
Jeff Raider and his co-founder spent months securing hundreds of people to talk about Harry's well before their week long pre-launch campaign went live. Put another way, they built a list, that helped them build a bigger list.
Turns out, they're not alone.
The guys who created the Soma water filter started seeding the idea with their friends months before they launched their $147,000+ Kickstarter Campaign.
Tim Ferriss started building his base by sending out 1,000's of screener copies and collecting pre-orders for "The 4 Hour Body" three months before he launched the book.
And in this article on Hubspot, Noah Kagan talks about his experience with Mint.com and how he started building his pre-launch list 9 months before launch.
Which brings me to my next point…
Work Backwards From a Goal
In the 9 month period leading up to Mint.com's launch, Noah built a contact database with the top 25 most influential finance bloggers.
Having this allowed him to continually build relationships with these influential bloggers while he also grinded away at more day-to-day marketing tasks such as:
- Sponsoring smaller blogs with passionate readers
- Paid advertising
- Split testing landing page messaging to see which yielded the best result,
- Used referral marketing mechanics to tap into friend networks.
Having 9 months of lead time allowed Noah to introduce people with an audience to an unknown brand, explain the benefits, and leverage their contacts to build a pre-launch email list of 20,000 really excited people.
And while Noah's initial task was to have 100,000 users 6 months after Mint.com launched, the momentum from those initial efforts ended up securing Mint 1 million users in that same time frame.
For you, it's important you determine how big that pre-launch list needs to be in order to have a "successful" launch. Avoid pulling an arbitrary number out of thin air, but instead use industry conversion rate benchmarks to reverse engineer the amount of people you need to launch to in order to have a profitable first day.
Secure Your Distribution Channels First
What's important to consider when you're building your pre-launch distribution list (the first group of contacts that will bring you even more contacts) is a concept Tim Ferriss calls the "Minimum Effective Dose" which is about applying no more energy than necessary to get the right results.
For Harry's, it was having a social network with the potential for a lot of spread.
For you, it might be about being extremely saavy with paid advertising, your uncanny ability to hack the press, or a being friends with a very active niche-group of knitters on Facebook.
The idea is, once you have reverse engineered your goal – say a pre-launch list of 10,000 people – is to identify what can you do to get the maximum result from a relatively small amount of effort
Noah recommends creating a spreadsheet to keep track of your confirmeddistribution channels to help you build your pre-launch list. This spreadsheet will contain the traffic source with estimates of the traffic & conversion rates.
This can also be modified to include potential email list size, rss feed, social network sizes and any additional distribution that comes from each source. It's important that this sheet only includes sources that are guaranteed to help you spread the word about your idea.
Depending on your existing network, this distribution list probably won't be built in a day, and that's ok. It is worth taking an inventory of what you are able to do fairly simply, then build a plan that expands your distribution on top of that.
Mike Del Ponte's Hacking Kickstarter is essential reading for your launch process.
In it he shows you some of the quickest ways to find influencers, as well as how to identify, rank, and properly pitch relevant bloggers and journalists that will provide the most impact to your campaign.
Here's just a tiny fraction of the advice he gives:
Other suggestions include:
- Work with a VA
- Write your outreach email templates ahead of time
- Create detailed dossiers of your top 10 media contacts
- Ask friends for help making contacts
- Segment your own personal email list
- and a whole lot more
This is one of the hardest, most time consuming processes, so be patient.
Using Mike's advice and templates, you can easily see which parts of the process can be outsourced to a virtual assistant in order to focus on building the relationships with the people who will have the most impact on your pre-launch and launch campaigns.
Why Go Through All The Trouble of Building the Pre-Launch List so Early?
For starters, Monetate reports that the average ecommerce conversion rate is between 2-3%.
While I'm not normally one to hang my hat on benchmark data, it is something to consider when you're building a brand new store. Given your existing margins, how much traffic would you need to make a 2-3% conversion rate profitable for your store?
More realistically, what does that number look like if only 0.1% – 0.5% of your traffic converts? This is often the case for brand new stores, so when setting your targets, it's better to prepare for the worst, and hope for the best.
Now also take into consideration the rising cost of PPC, Google's ever changing algorithm, and the increasing restrictions on social media outlets organic distribution.
Shopify Support Guru's are constantly getting asked "How do I get my site to show up in Google?" While it's true you should be optimizing for relevant long tail keywords, the truth is, it can be really, really hard for a brand new site to rank.
This doesn't mean you should ignore SEO best practices, but rather, not let your company's success hinge on whether Google deems your website worthy or not.
Even though building the pre-launch list means additional work on the front end, you end up owning two really important lists:
- Influencers who are willing to share your ideas with a larger group
- Early adopters who are interested in your idea
Because you own these lists, these distribution channels are largely unaffected by the whims of Google and can become a real asset any time you need to share anything related to your store.
So What Can You Do With a Pre-Launch List?
As you're building your pre-launch list, take the time to get to know the people on the list, and share exciting developments about your progress.
Mike Del Ponte shares some ideas with what they did with their earliest contacts:
- Ask for (and listen to) your friends' advice. We asked for feedback on everything from our name to product design to pricing.
- Offer them "sneak peaks" that no one else gets. We showed our friends product renderings, pictures, and our Kickstarter video long before we released them to the public.
- Throw a launch party. Having a large group of people in one room, all excited about your project, creates a united energy you can't create through emails, phone calls, or one-on-one meetings. Invite over 50 motivated and influential friends, show them your Kickstarter video and make a speech telling them why you need their help and exactly what you need them to do. The people who attended our launch party ended up being our first backers and our most passionate evangelists.
The idea is to make your earliest adopters feel special, and like they have some ownership in what you're doing, as well as motivate some of them to share what you're doing organically.
Depending on what you're selling, there's also room for including periodic game mechanics (Harry's gave free product away if you referred a certain amount of friends) or early VIP access for those who can't wait to get their hands on what you're selling.
And on Launch Day…
The payoff of building this pre-launch list and media list can be felt when reading Charlie Hoehn's "12 Lesson's I Learned While Marketing The 4 Hour Body"
From the media list perspective, seeing the massive amount of coverage the book got leading up to and post launch is absolute madness.
Whereas the payoff of sending out over 1,000 screener copies of the book was over 200 positive reviews on day one. (there are over 2,500 now!)
This, combined with the massive amount of pre-orders generated from Tim's pre-launch campaign, signals Amazon to rank the book highly which drives more sales, and for book dealers to order a ton of inventory to anticipate demand in the store.
The result of all of this was a debut at #1 on the New York Times best seller list and maintaining a top 3 position for 3 weeks. It was also #4 on the Wall Street journal and USA Today lists, and was in the Top 5 Amazon best sellers between December 2010 and January 2011.
Yeah, I Know What You're Thinking…
…and you're right, you're not Tim Ferriss.
But for Soma, Mike Del Ponte's water filter company, using a similar strategy meant raising $100,000 in 10 days.
For Harry's, this meant launching to over 100,000 people, which eventually allowed them to purchase the old german factory where their blades were manufactured and raising an additional $122.5 million – all within the span of 10 months.
For Mint.com, their 20k pre-launch email list helped propel them to over 1 million users in 6 months, and a $160 million dollar acquisition by Intuit.
What could this mean for you?


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Executive Overview
Performance requirements such as increased bandwidth, reduced latency, and lower power are driving the adoption of 3D-IC designs. What technology will be needed to make 3D-ICs a market reality at 45nm and below? While there are several options in development and production, one that is being touted as a way to build 3D-like structures relatively quickly is the use of silicon interposers—a double-sided die with no active devices that is used to connect one active die to another. Silicon interposers are being used to stack chips side-by-side, allowing designers to put dies next to each other in a high-bandwidth, low-latency configuration. However, while they provide a way to realize many of the benefits of 3D-ICs with fewer design and production issues, silicon interposers still pose new challenges for designers and manufacturers alike.
Matthew Hogan, Mentor Graphics, Wilsonville, OR USA
A complete 3D-IC implementation is usually envisioned as a stack of active chips using through-silicon vias (TSV) to connect through each chip down to a package substrate. TSV designs represent a convergence of the SoC and SiP disciplines, providing designers the means to significantly increase the bandwidth between the logic chip and the memory (especially with wide memory interfaces) that can't be achieved with bond wires, as well as the ability to mix and match dies that not only use different process nodes, but also different manufacturing technologies (SiGe, SOI, CMOS low voltage, CMOS high voltage, BiPolar, GaAs, etc.). The ability to combine different dies in a single stack, while not new, allows design houses to focus on their core design strengths, and acquire needed functionality (e.g., memory, RF transmitter) from specialist companies who can provide high-quality, proven die. What is new with 3D-ICs is the ability to place those connections in a dense array, without the strict perimeter constraints imposed by an equivalent wire-bonded design.
Figure 1. Stacked chip design.
Utilizing stacked chips, particularly in memory-intensive designs, allows designers to stay at today's "reasonable" process nodes for each die and derive the benefit of proven volume manufacturing processes. For example, if designers want to add memory to an existing design, they can simply add memory on a TSV die, and go "up" (Fig. 1). This flexibility lets engineers easily create variations of a design just by adding more memory to the stack.
However, TSVs used in active silicon have their own performance and production issues, making full 3D-IC implementations problematic. Of particular concern for a full 3D-IC stack is the issue of thermal reliability, particularly in high power configurations. Stacked dies can't easily dissipate heat in the same way a single die does (through the use of a heat sink covering the largest surface area), which results in performance degradation and/or early failure. Minimizing heat production and/or controlling and dissipating heat effectively and economically is a challenging design and implementation issue for these structures.
In an active die, the physical size of a TSV (15-30µm diameter) is very large compared to the transistors that surround it (20-40nm). This significant difference in scale has a profound effect on routing, cell placement, and transistor stress (to name a few), all of which become a challenge when designing with TSVs in an active die. While creating space around the TSV can help alleviate these factors, that technique must be balanced against the resultant reduction in area available for transistors that provide the functionality of the device.
Alternative 3D technology
An alternative approach to a full 3D-IC stack is to place active dies on a passive silicon interposer, which in turn is placed on the package substrate. Silicon interposers with TSVs offer a way for designers to achieve the benefits of chip-scale connected configurations, without having to confront the issues currently presented by a full 3D-IC implementation through active silicon. The use of a silicon interposer is often referred to as a 2.5D-IC.
By using a silicon interposer, designers keep the circuitry of each active chip internal to the device package, reducing the need for HBM (human body model) electrostatic discharge (ESD) protection circuits and guard rings. Using a silicon interposer also makes it easier to "mix and match" active chips by using the interposer as a "rewiring loom" to connect chips without the need to specifically design them for interface compatibility (Fig. 2).
Figure 2. Using a silicon interposer allows for signal remapping from one active chip to another without requiring customized designs.
Silicon interposers are seen by some as a pragmatic building block in the evolution of 3D-IC technology. They are often used in high performance applications with single stacked devices (flip-chips) that allow for generous thermal dissipation using traditional techniques. Silicon interposers also provide a variety of additional benefits:
- Dies are created by a single source (no outsourcing to third party suppliers)
- Reduced ESD protection requirements for die-to-die connections through the interposer
- Drivers (transistors) need not be as large, because they're not driving wirebonds to on-board (PCB) connections
- Heat buildup experienced in full 3D-IC designs may be avoided/minimized
- Process requalification is eliminated, because each die can be manufactured at a proven node without a TSV through the active silicon (for single stack configurations)
Looking ahead
For optimal package-aware chip design, questions must be asked and decisions made early in the design process. Is the connectivity created with the silicon interposer assembly the connectivity that you want? More specifically, when you have multiple dies sitting on top of the silicon interposer, how do they interact with each other? Will your power delivery match your performance requirements? Without the "right" answers to these questions, designers may not be getting the benefits this technology is intended to provide.
Standards are beginning to emerge for interposer size and pitch needed to meet performance standards. JEDEC recently announced that several of their standards committees are focusing on the development of 3D standards for stacked devices and mixed technology ICs [1]. The 3D-IC Alliance has released the Intimate Memory Interconnect Standard (IMIS) to standardize vertical interconnect requirements [2]. However, standards development may be hindered by some who perceive the interoperability of required technologies as a competitive disadvantage. Independent development and potentially conflicting solutions are always a risk.
Chip designers also need to decide how best to connect third party die that will require additional information. For example, to effectively use bare memory die, the micro-bump pad sites for each of the dies need to be aligned so the connectivity from one die can be traced through the passive silicon interposer and connect to the correct location on the other active die. Without knowledge of the physical interface, designers cannot effectively design the silicon interposer to connect with the die. However, information such as pad interfaces of an independent die is typically not a standard deliverable used in the design of another chip. Determining what information is needed and developing standardized methods of providing it will be needed.
From a design and verification standpoint, however, the good news is that extensive retooling is not needed. Many existing tools can be incrementally extended to handle 3D-IC design [3]. Incremental capabilities will be added to existing tools for coarse grain partitioning of designs, such as that of memory on logic, or other cells from one die to another. Fine grain partitioning, where the logic of a cell is partitioned over multiple dies, is probably only valid for very specific architectures at this time. The primary limiting factor is the manufacturing capability of the foundries. With a TSV being such a large structure compared to the transistors and other vias in the circuit, it remains a very deliberately placed object. When a TSV is small enough, with fine enough placement pitch to become a ubiquitous circuit element, then fine grain partitioning becomes significantly more viable.
3D-ICs are moving from theory (and a decade of hype) into reality. While challenges remain, there is little disagreement that 3D-ICs provide solutions to performance issues being encountered at the most advanced nodes. Silicon interposers were once viewed as an "interim" technology to help designers realize many of the benefits of 3D architecture, while delaying the most difficult production issues associated with TSVs. They now seem set to stay as a valid alternative implementation to full 3D-IC designs, at least for some market segments, and will become an integral part of future design architectures for others.
1. "JEDEC Announces Broad Spectrum of 3D-IC Standards Development," March 17, 2011; http://www.jedec.org/news/pressreleases/jedec-announces-broad-spectrum-3d-ic-standards-development
2. "First Standard For 3D Chips," July, 2008; http://www.3d-ic.org/documents/IMIS_Press_Release.pdf
3 M. Hogan, D. Petranovic, "Robust Verification of 3D-ICs: Pros, Cons and Recommendations," 3D System Integration, 2009. 3DIC 2009. IEEE Inter. Conf., vol., no., pp.1-6, 28-30 Sept. 2009doi: 10.1109/3DIC.2009.5306522
URL: http://ieeexplore.ieee.org/stamp/stamp.jsp?tp=&arnumber=5306522&isnumber=5306519
Matthew Hogan received his BEng from the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology and an MBA from Marylhurst U. and is a Calibre Marketing Engineer for Mentor Graphics, 8005 SW Boeckman Rd, Wilsonville, Oregon 97070; ph.: 503-685-7065; email firstname.lastname@example.com.
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Here are bestfreewareblog.com we believe that WordPress.org offers the very best blogging experience available. And more than 20% of the internet agrees with us, as that is how many of the nearly billion websites on the internet are powered by WordPress.
Do you agree with us? Why or why not?
This is a callout to all bloggers to let us know what their favorite blogging platform is.
Don't have a blog yet? Learn how to start a WordPress blog in this step-by-step guide.


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We had a family outing to the zoo and had lunch at a Greek Restaurant nearby. What do you eat in a Greek Restaurant? Gyros with Pita/Olga Bread of course. The grandchildren loved the Pita/Olga bread so much that i had to make some for them at home.
The recipe on how to make this bread is HERE


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Deirdre Saravia
Deirdre as born in Belfast, Northern Ireland, and her first paid work was at the age of 10 with the BBC as an actress on "Children's Hour." She continued to perform regularly on radio and stage for the next eight years, at which point she was informed by her parents that theater was not an option and she needed "real" work.
So Deirdre left the flashy life of entertainment and trained as a registered nurse in Ireland, continuing to London. Her nursing experiences allowed her to travel and work abroad in Europe and Africa, and while working in London for British Petroleum, she met her husband, Dr. Jorge Saravia. They moved to Mexico City where she managed his private practice while learning Spanish.
During her time in Mexico City, she worked as an extra on the movie "Lucky Lady," starring Gene Hackman, Liza Minelli and Burt Reynolds. You can see her fox-trotting in a night club scene, but you have to watch very closely.
After the Saravia family moved to San Antonio, Deirdre volunteered at KRTU 91.7 FM and hosted a World Music program while continuing to work in nursing at Santa Rosa Children's Hospital and University hospital.
Deirdre joined TPR serendipitously, when one evening Thistle and Shamrock failed to air on KSTX. Having just produced an Irish music show for KRTU, she quickly gathered her gear and substituted for Fiona Richie.
Deirdre produces World Music with Deirdre Saravia, which airs Saturday evenings at 8 p.m. on KSTX.


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Minnesota Dad Charged in Ice Accident that Killed Baby
MINNEAPOLIS (AP) — A suburban Minneapolis man is charged with a felony for allegedly driving drunk when the family's SUV plunged through the ice on Lake Minnetonka, killing his baby daughter last month.
Hennepin County prosecutors charged 41-year-old Jonathan Markle of Minnetrista Thursday with one count of criminal vehicular homicide.
According to the complaint, Markle told police he had two beers at a restaurant before driving on the ice Jan. 18. The SUV went through the ice with Markle's 8-month-old daughter Tabitha strapped in the backseat.
Markle, his wife and their 2-year-old daughter were able to escape. Firefighters pulled the baby from the SUV, but she died at a hospital. Her death was ruled an accidental drowning.
Markle is scheduled to appear in court Friday. His attorney, Joe Friedberg, had no comment Thursday.
Copyright 2013 The Associated Press.


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There's still time to take advantage of JetBlue Airways Spring Fling sale, which ends Wednesday.
Sale fares from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport range from $74-$174 one-way, while travelers departing Palm Beach International can find $99 one-way fares to San Juan, Puerto Rico.
Destinations cities on sale from Fort Lauderdale include Bogota, Nassau, New York, Los Angeles, San Juan, and Washington D.C. Fares from Orlando International range from $84-190 one-way.
The special fares must be purchased before 11:59 p.m. ET (or local time) March 20, and are valid for travel April 9-June 19, 2012. Day of week restrictions, blackout dates and advance purchase restrictions apply. Click on each sale fare for additional terms and conditions.
Government taxes and fees are included, but other charges may apply.
For more sale details, click here.


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Raising vibrations to help humanity
http://jhaines6.wordpress.com/2012/04/25/russian-scientists-crack-c... There are two videos and PDF to explain them There will be 7 seperate disasters starting with the power grid if you are not ready to assend before the second one occures, you will not. Very interesting stuff here.
Views: 542
I have always thought that the crop circles were talking to us, but our 3D brain just could not figure them out. Thanks for the vids Keith. Amy you are so right about previous warnings from the ET's. Brad I agree with you as I would have to run out of a room if I was there. I am starting to think the birthing of the earth is our real problem and not Nibiru. Cheryl mentioned on Amy's recent blog that what we are seeing in space just may be a biosphere watching earth. I just wonder how the aliens knew this was going to happen so long ago. So many questions still pending answers.Rosemary and Tammy you are very welcome.
Those Russian women's voices are like a cat scratching a nerve..Yikes! I ascended through the roof!
Hey maybe THAT"S the 4th dimension :)
Matt posted a blog post about these ladies on April 11th. http://earthchanges.ning.com/xn/detail/6126809:Comment:219548
There are links to 25 videos about 5 min each, links provided.
I am getting the feeling that the Crop Circles are depicting a different timeline.
Evidenced by the Exercises in the Pacific exactly on the day YU55 cruised by. The exercises were held because in their remote viewing YU55 was supposed to crash into the Pacific causing a major Tsunami causing major damage.
But only my opinion.
This Russian openness is commendable. I am really grateful to you Byron for having found and posted such a very important video. It made me feel b3etter inside, especially knowing the my family will be ok even if Earth is affected by strong events.
The Russians have been more open than most governments and their scientist even more. Thanks Byron!
If the reports are correct ... I honestly believed them my self ... then US President Eisenhower, and others, including Bishop McIntyre .... who was invited by the President ... to be his spiritrual advisor at a very important meeting conscerning the World ... were warned about the upcoming arrival of the Anunnaki and their home planet Nibiru in 1954 at MUROC (Now Edwards AFB)Air Field. They met 3 off-world races ... the greys ... a reptillion looking race ... and a human looking race! Supposedly, one or more of them offered Eisenhower and our planet some kind of help in dealing with what was going to happen soon ... the story goes, that Eisenhower, and others that were at the meeting, refused their help and warned that should they try to land on our planet, we would shoot them down! Eisenhower met with another off-world race at Holloman AFB in 1955 ... I have not been able to find out what was brought up in their 45 minute meeting, only that Eisenhower was warned by this new race not to trust one or more of the 3 races he had met with the year before. This race was described as a tall Nordic looking human.
How many other meetings there were is unknown ... just that meetings with off-world races were at both secret locations and in the gardens on The Vatican State.
There is a very strong rumor that these other races are trying to force official first contact with the Earth, and they have been rebuffed by our world governments ... they decided to show the people of this world that they are real, and that they are here but our news media is working under a mass blackout ... and only small stories are leaking through.
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Kanye West Announces Fall Tour With Kendrick Lamar [PHOTOS]
After a five-year absence from active solo touring that saw him launch an eponymous fashion line, release a few albums ('My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy' and 'Yeezus' on his own as well as his Watch the Throne project with Jay Z) and impregnate a Kardashian, Kanye West is returning to the road.
Yeezy will launch the Yeezus Tour, featuring support from the hottest up and comer in the rap game -- Kendrick Lamar -- this October.
The rapper tweeted an image confirming the news. The tour runs for seven weeks and hits 23 cities in the process. 'Ye has performed many times at a variety of events, but he has not embarked on a full-scale solo tour in far too long.
The dates and cities are posted in the graphic below, so get a good look and see if 'Ye's coming to your town.
No word as to whether or not little North and mommy Kim will be accompanying the new daddy on the road. We're thinking probably not, since she's not even six months old and the road is not the safest place for her.


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Remember the original RAZR? It was super-thin, super-overpriced, and commanded the gadget-lust of a whole generation. It often shattered when dropped—a sort of proto-iPhone. That was nearly a decade ago. So why is Verizon still using the promotional envelopes?
Brooke Hammerling spotted this bizarre choice of packaging today while checking her mail. Why is the RAZR wet? Why can't they afford new envelopes? Do you need help, Verizon? We have some envelopes here. They're plain white, but you're probably better off with that than advertising a terrible phone from before a lot of your customers started having sex.


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March 25, 2019
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Self-described American badass Kid Rock once said: "If it looks good, you'll see it. If it sounds good, you'll hear it. If it's marketed right, you'll buy it. But if it's real ... you'll feel it."
I can feel it: Wrestlemania 25 is just around the corner and Kid Rock will be there performing a medley of songs as part of the big event at Reliant Stadium in Houston.
When Kid Rock hits the stage -- the "grandest stage of them all" -- it will be the quintessential "Rock and Wrestling Connection," as Rock's music is a boisterous, brash, and sometimes crass reflection of American spirit. Just like Wrestlemania.
And while rock bands like Saliva, Limp Bizkit and Motorhead have performed at previous Wrestlemanias, others, like controversial rock icon Alice Cooper, have been at ringside and part of the action.
Just hours before a recent concert in Prince George, Alberta, Cooper shared his memories of Wrestlemania III and being in Jake "The Snake" Roberts' corner during his match with The Honky Tonk Man.
"I had performed in front of big audiences, but nothing like (Wrestlemania III)," said Cooper. "It was terrifying, and I remember telling Jake as we were riding that little ring on wheels down the aisle, 'This isn't my audience, my audience isn't as crazy as this.' It was one of the most terrifying things in the world -- 90,000 people, wrestling fans, 60,000 of them were blue-haired ladies going nuts and screaming for blood."
After the match between Roberts and The Honky Tonk Man was over, Cooper jumped in the ring and helped Roberts throw his snake, Damien, on manager Jimmy Hart. "I'm used to snakes, and have them in my shows but I remember Damien was a big one," said Cooper, whose first snake, Kachina, was the cover girl for his classic 1971 album, Killer.
On the Pick Your Poison documentary DVD, Roberts says while growing up he idolized Alice Cooper. And Cooper returned the sentiment: "Jake was great," said Cooper. "We had time to get to talk quite a bit before Wrestlemania III, hanging out at the Marriott."
While Cooper has plenty of memories of Wrestlemania, rock and roll legend Ozzy Osbourne has none. When asked in interviews about Wrestlemania II, where he accompanied the British Bulldogs (The Dynamite Kid and Davey Boy Smith) to the ring for their tag championship match against the Dream Team (Brutus Beefcake and Greg Valentine), Ozzy has said he doesn't actually remember the occasion.
It's more likely that Ozzy, now clean and sober, remembers performing live on Smackdown! back in 2007, as he and his band played the song I Don't Wanna Stop, the theme song for WWE's Judgment Day. Osbourne's guitarist for the past 20 years remembers it well.
"It was the shit!" Zakk Wylde told me from Saskatoon this past week, while on tour with his band Black Label Society. Wylde said when not touring, he loves being home watching wrestling and drinking beer.
Wylde's persona could be described as part Viking, part beer-swilling biker -- a heavy metal version of "The Texas Rattlesnake" Steve Austin, but with lots of hair. "I'm a big fan, and friends with Steve," said Wylde, who recorded Austin's new theme music in 2002. "He just asked me," Wylde explained, then adding in a spot-impression of Stone Cold: "Zakk, come up with some music for me you goddamn son-of-a-bitch."
Zakk Wylde's band Black Label Society will be performing in Toronto on April 4, the day before Wrestlemania 25. With the next concert planned for April 6 in Hartford, Conneticut, I asked Wylde if he plans to watch Wrestlemania 25 on his day off. "Yeah man -- I got to see my boy Chris Jericho!" said Wylde. "Man, you can't pay enough money for that kind of entertainment -- he's the man. Did you see Jericho and Mickey Rourke on Larry King? That was amazing, funny shit! That movie The Wrestler is ass-kickin'. It's the truth, man. It's real."
Alice Cooper hadn't seen the movie The Wrestler yet when we spoke, but said that being at Wrestlemania was like nothing he had ever experienced. "That was the craziest audience in the world, it really was," Cooper concluded. "I remember looking around at that massive crowd and I kept thinking, 'They don't really believe this, do they?' I think they did."
In the world of wrestling, I told Cooper, it's not about believing it, it's about feeling it. And in the words of Kid Rock: "If it's real ... you'll feel it."
Marshall Ward is a visual artist, independent filmmaker, and weekly columnist with the Waterloo Chronicle. Email is welcome at marshall_ward @hotmail.com.


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- 7 Days, 7 Desserts
- Dig Deep for the Hardest Body You've Ever Had!
- What a Fitness Expert Says about Shakeology®
- Can Hard Exercise Hurt Your Immune System?
- Shaun T's Diamond Jump
7 Days, 7 DessertsBy Joe Wilkes
For a lot of you, fighting your sweet tooth is the hardest part of staying healthy. Sugary treats and drinks are so prevalent that it's a real challenge to kick the white stuff, not to mention the high fructose corn syrup stuff. However, that doesn't mean you should totally abandon your sweet tooth. After all, how could something that tastes so good be that bad for you? Your palate is conditioned to enjoy sweets because, in nature, this conditioning can attract you to some of the healthiest foods, like fruits and berries. The trick is in learning to enjoy sweet foods that are closer to their natural state, before all the vitamins and fiber are extracted and you're left with just diabetes and tooth decay. Here are some ideas for desserts that could actually be the healthiest part of a meal.
Note: All nutritional information is for one serving.
Sunday: Giant Fruit Salad
Sunday is a great day to make giant bowls of stuff you can eat all week. I like to make big pots of soup or other big entrées for healthy leftovers I can enjoy throughout the week. Fruit salad is super-easy to make; it's just a bit of a hassle to chop everything. However, I find it can be a nice Zen-like activity to do while I'm watching the Sunday news shows or sports. The best fruit salads contain fruits that are in season and have a variety of colors. It's not just that the colors make for a lovely presentation, but the more colors you have, the bigger range of antioxidants you have. By tossing the fruit in lemon juice, you can prevent the fruit from turning brown, so it'll still be appetizing later in the week. You can layer the fruit with yogurt for a delicious parfait or add some granola or nuts for a little crunch.
- 1 red apple, unpeeled, cored, and diced
- 1 Granny Smith apple, unpeeled, cored, and diced
- 1 cup green grapes, seedless
- 1 cup red grapes, seedless
- 1 cup blueberries
- 1 cup raspberries
- 2 cups cantaloupe, balled
- 2 cups honeydew melon, balled
- 2 cups pineapple, cut up
- 1 banana, sliced
- Lemon juice
Mix all ingredients in a large bowl. Toss with lemon juice until fruit is lightly coated. Serves 6.
Preparation Time: 15 to 20 minutes, but it depends how good a chopper you are!
Nutritional Information (per serving):
|Fat Total
|< 1 g
|48 g
|6 g
|2 g
Monday: Chocolate Avocado Mousse
Chocolate is full of great antioxidants and actually pretty healthy in its unadulterated state. It's when we add cream, butter, and sugar that it starts to get unhealthy. It may not sound intuitive to mix avocado with chocolate, but avocado provides a delicious creamy texture, without all the saturated fat of regular cream. An avocado's flavor is usually mild enough that you won't even taste it when you mix it with chocolate, and you get all those heart-smart unsaturated fats, plus the antioxidants in the chocolate.
- 2 oz. dark unsweetened chocolate (70% to 85% cacao solids)
- 1 avocado
- 1 Tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
- 2 Tbsp. agave nectar (or maple syrup)
- 1 tsp. vanilla extract
Microwave chocolate in a large mixing bowl until it's melted. Add remaining ingredients and mix until smooth. For best results, use a hand mixer or food processor. Serves 2.
Preparation Time: 10 minutes
Nutritional Information (per serving):
|Fat Total
|27 g
|39 g
|11 g
|5 g
Tuesday: Apple Crisp
What's as American as apple pie? Well, obesity for starters. Apples are certainly healthy, and apple pie flavorings like cinnamon are also healthy. In fact, some studies have shown that cinnamon may help stabilize blood sugar levels and may even lower blood cholesterol levels. However, once you mix it all up in a shortening-laden crust with a cup or two of sugar, most health benefits go right out the window. Try this easy-to-make recipe for apple pie flavor without the fat. For extra fiber, don't peel the apples. You can also experiment with other favorite fruits like peaches or blueberries; use them as substitutes for or in addition to the apples.
- 4 cups apples, peeled and sliced
- 2 Tbsp. maple syrup
- 1 tsp. cinnamon
- 2 Tbsp. brown sugar
- 2 Tbsp. flour, whole wheat (or soy flour)
- 2 Tbsp. butter, organic grass-fed, if available
- 1/2 cup rolled oats
Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In a medium baking dish, combine apples, maple syrup, and 1/2 tsp. of cinnamon. In a separate mixing bowl, combine remaining ingredients. Top mixture in baking dish with mixture from bowl. Bake for about 30 minutes or until apples are soft. Serves 4.
Preparation Time: 10 minutes
Nutritional Information (per serving):
|Fat Total
|6 g
|31 g
|3 g
|3 g
Wednesday: Chocolate-Covered Strawberries
You don't have to shell out the big bucks at Godiva® to make it a romantic evening with your sweetie. All you need is a microwave (or a double boiler), some dark chocolate (70% to 85% cacao solids), some strawberries, and some love. And if there's a better way to show your love than with these two great sources of antioxidants, I'd like to hear it. In fact, if you're single, this is a much better way to love yourself than with that pint of Ben & Jerry's® (4 servings . . . ha!).
- 1 dark chocolate bar (3 oz.), 70% to 85% cacao solids
- 1 pint large strawberries (about a dozen)
Microwave chocolate in a microwave-safe bowl or melt it in a double boiler on the stove. Holding the strawberry by the stem, dip it in the melted chocolate until it's lightly coated. Set the strawberry aside on a plate or wax paper to cool. The strawberries are ready to eat when the chocolate hardens (or if you can't wait, dip and eat and call it chocolate fondue!). Serves 2.
Preparation Time: 10 minutes
Nutritional Information (per serving):
|Fat Total
|22 g
|36 g
|9 g
|5 g
Thursday: Black Bean Brownies
Well, if you didn't stop reading this article after the Chocolate Avocado Mousse recipe, you may be adventurous enough to try this recipe. This is super-easy to make and very delicious. For Christmas one year, my mother found a box of brownie mix of indeterminate origin in her pantry, and we decided to experiment with something we saw on one of the morning shows. Basically, instead of adding eggs and oil to the mix as directed on the box, you food-process a can of black beans (unseasoned, of course) and 1/4 cup of water. Add the mix and bake according to the directions on the box, and voilà, delicious chewy brownies with more fiber than fat. In fact, we even served them to my finicky nephews, who declared them edible, until my mom revealed the secret ingredient and ruined Christmas.
- 1 15-oz. can unseasoned black beans, drained and rinsed
- 1/4 cup water
- 1 package brownie mix (12 to 14 oz.—we recommend a healthy one with whole-grain ingredients)
Puree beans and water in food processor or blender. Add beans to brownie mix and bake according to package instructions. Don't add any other ingredients. Serves 16.
Preparation Time: 10 minutes plus baking time
Nutritional Information (per serving; varies depending on brownie mix used):
|Fat Total
|3 g
|8 g
|2 g
|5 g
Friday: Fruit Kabobs
As fans of Strangers with Candy know, nothing makes a party like hot fruit! Grilling or broiling fruit can make the fruit taste sweeter—without adding sugar. It's easy to prepare and makes for a dramatic presentation. You can experiment with different kinds of fruit, but the best ones are the ones that are a little firm and juicy, like pineapples, apples, and pears, or stone fruits, like peaches, nectarines, plums, and mangoes. You can serve the kabobs with a spiced yogurt dipping sauce or just a sprinkle of cinnamon.
- 1/2 pineapple
- 2 mangoes
- 3 nectarines
- 3 peaches
- 3 pears
- 2 apples
Cut all fruit into chunks and thread onto water-soaked bamboo skewers. On a hot grill or under the broiler, cook kabobs for about 5 to 7 minutes, turning them often and being careful not to burn them.
Preparation Time: 10 minutes (not counting chopping time)
Nutritional Information (per serving):
|Fat Total
|< 1 g
|59 g
|9 g
|2 g
Saturday: Chocolate Shakeology® Pie
So we've seen some pretty healthy desserts, but could dessert be the Healthiest Meal of the Day®? If it's made with Shakeology, it could be. The Team Beachbody® Message Boards are full of great recipe ideas. This one was found by juliefit, a Beachbody® Coach. No one knows where the original recipe came from, but it tastes delicious. And in addition to the more than 70 healthy ingredients in Shakeology, the tofu gives you a protein punch.
- 1-1/2 scoops Chocolate Shakeology
- 1/2 cup unsweetened peanut butter
- 1 container silken tofu (12 oz.)
- 2 Tbsp. soy milk
- 2 Tbsp. agave nectar (or maple syrup)
- 1 whole-grain graham cracker pie crust
Blend or food-process peanut butter, tofu, Shakeology, soy milk, and agave nectar until smooth and creamy, adding more soy milk if necessary. Pour into pie crust and refrigerate until firm (about 1 hour). Serves 6.
Preparation Time: 10 minutes, plus 60 minutes refrigeration time
Nutritional Information (per serving):
|Fat Total
|17 g
|19 g
|3 g
|13 g
Of course, you should feel free to eat any of these desserts any day of the week. And repeat your favorites. Most of these can be integrated into your favorite Beachbody meal plan. If you missed parts one through four of the series, see the Related Articles section below. Bon appétit!
Click here to get more healthy recipes, personalized meal plans, and diet advice when you sign up for Team Beachbody®.
Related Articles
"7 Days, 7 Snacks"
"7 Days, 7 Dinners"
"7 Days, 7 Lunches"
"7 Days, 7 Breakfasts"
Got something to say? Chat with the writers and other readers this coming Monday, March 22nd, at 8:00 PM ET, 5:00 PM PT, in the Beachbody Chat Room!
If you'd like to ask a question or comment on this newsletter article, click here to add a comment in the newsletter review section or you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.com.
What a Fitness Expert Says about Shakeology®By Carl Daikeler
I read this post the other day. It was written by a professional who teaches for one the most respected kettlebell training communities in the country. Dr. Mark Cheng wrote in response to some of his students and peers who were questioning his vocal support of Shakeology. Click here to read the post.
Can Hard Exercise Hurt Your Immune System?By Steve Edwards
Could doing INSANITY® or P90X increase your risk of getting sick? Two recent studies have led several publications to state that intense exercise should come with a warning that it increases the risk of illness. Today we'll take a deeper look at these claims, analyze what they mean for you, and look at a few ways to keep your immune system strong.
To someone who's been involved in athletic training their entire life, the studies look like a bunch of hoo-hah from the "duh" files. But for the general public, they've created quite a stir, leading many authors to pen articles warning about the dangers of hard exercise. Great, I'm thinking, just what our swelling society needs—another excuse not to exercise. Some of these articles were so craftily written, I even got a note from Tony Horton asking for my take. So obviously, the media fright club did its homework on this one.
Here's the rub. Two independent studies found that while moderate exercise boosted your immune system, intense exercise broke it down. The media spun this to challenge the notion that hard exercise is good for you, stating we should consider only recommending moderate exercise. The problem with that assessment is that to improve your fitness, you must continually stress your system, a process known as progressive overload in training circles. Over time, progressive overload leads to improvements in your immune system. Without it, your fitness will stagnate and your immune system will regress.
This doesn't mean these studies were without merit. As your training load increases, so does the demand on your immune system, because exercise creates stress on the body. It's the classic what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you-stronger scenario. Intense exercise increases the amount of hormones your body releases. These hormones are essential for all bodily functions. During the acute phase of intense exercise, however, these hormones are busy trying to repair all the physiological breakdown your workout incurs on your body, and there isn't enough left to boost your immune system. Therefore, during times of high stress, your immune system is compromised.
The upside is that your body gets used to this process. As your body grows accustomed, less physiological breakdown occurs during the same high-intensity movements, but the hormonal releases are still active. These hormonal releases increase the body's natural defenses—your immune system. So intense exercise leads to an improved immune system provided you survive the initial stages of your program.
And despite all the hoo-hah, it isn't hard to improve your immune system. It should seem obvious that the harder you exercise, the healthier the rest of your lifestyle should become; but that doesn't create the controversy the media covets. With this in mind, let's look at ways to boost your immune system during times of stress.
Behavioral Changes
- Get plenty of sleep. Sleep is vital for everything you do and especially for you to recover from exercise. When you don't get enough, the first thing to fail is your ability to fight off illness. Pathogens exist in all walks of life, and fighting them off is an essential part of your well-being. A rested body is a recovered body, and when your body is strong, it's more efficient.
- Avoid outside stress. During times of intense training, it's wise to do your best to avoid as much outside distraction as possible. I try to schedule my hardest training phases during when I don't have a lot of commitments. When I have a big travel schedule or a massive workload on the horizon, I try scaling back my exercise accordingly.
- Wash your hands. A very simple act that's highly effective when it comes to keeping you healthy. You don't need fancy antibacterial soap. Any simple soap will do. Just wash your hands often because most of the things you touch, especially in public, are covered in germs. To make this easier, you can buy waterless hand sanitizers, which were popularized by travelers in countries where the water was unsafe.
- Avoid enclosed spaces for long periods of time. This one's tough, since most of us work or go to school in enclosed spaces. But just because you're forced into a space doesn't mean there's nothing you can do about it. We could all benefit from taking more breaks. Our bodies and our minds will perform better if we give them a break every hour or so. This is why classes tend to be about an hour long. Moving outside of your enclosed space helps you recharge with clean air, sunshine, and vitamin D.
- Don't skip your recovery periods. There's a reason INSANITY and P90X have recovery weeks built into their schedules. Intense training should only be done in short cycles. One of the most common ways people get sick or injured is by trying to prolong the amount of time during which they Bring It. As good as it feels to keep pushing yourself to your limit, you have a breaking point.
Diet Changes
Following a healthy diet enhances each behavioral change mentioned and everything else you do in life. Staying hydrated, in particular, is also very important for your immune system. Supplementing during times of high stress, and when you're forced to stay in an enclosed place for long periods of time (like in an airplane), has been shown to reduce your chances of getting sick. But these are all obvious things, right?
What's less obvious is that many natural foods and herbs have been shown to improve the immune system. None of these are "proven" medical remedies, but they all have a long history of anecdotal lore that probably has some relevant meaning, even if the American Medical Association hasn't blessed them in the same way it has pseudoephedrine. Whether they work or not, all these foods have healthy benefits to supplement your diet, so file them under the "why not" category. With that disclaimer, here are 10 foods that may boost your immune system.
- Garlic. From staving off vampires to having antiviral and antibacterial properties, garlic has been a wonder food of holistic medicine for as long as we've been writing about it. Just eat it in its natural form—there's a reason you've never seen anyone defend themselves against Dracula with garlic salt.
- Citrus fruits. They're not just for scurvy anymore. Citrus fruits are all high in vitamin C—the vitamin most commonly associated with a strong immune system.
- Echinacea. Another one long on lore but short on science, its anecdotal history in antiviral medicine shouldn't be discounted. However, this herb is best used only in times of severe stress.
- Berries. These fruits contain exceedingly high amounts of antioxidants, which are directly responsible for fighting off would-be illnesses.
- Zinc. Not a real food, but with the popularity of zinc lozenges, who would know? There's good science behind zinc supplementation, but again, it's a high-stress supplement only. Don't make sucking on these a part of your daily diet.
- Oysters. For those who want to take their zinc naturally, nothing beats oysters. And to think that all this time we've only thought of them as aphrodisiacs.
- Shiitake mushrooms. Long used in Japan for their antibacterial and antiviral qualities, we're lucky they're now common ingredients in haute cuisine.
- Yogurt. One of the few foods that's been a cornerstone of an entire region's diet, as it was for most everyone living between Eastern Europe and Central Asia for about 4,000 years. The bacteria in yogurt helps us digest other foods better, as well as helping us fight off many dangerous bacteria.
- Carrots. High glycemic index be damned. There's no negative
research—and plenty of positive research—associated with eating carrots. They're exceptionally high in beta-carotene, and in a study on children's school attendance, beta-carotene was found to improve cognitive function and attendance in the participants.
- Astragalus root. Another popular herb used in traditional Chinese medicine that's picking up steam under the scrutiny of Western science. Unfortunately, the only downside is that it's not yet found its place in haute cuisine—although it can be found in Beachbody's Herbal Immune Boost.
Related Articles
"INSANITY® and the X"
"8 Misleading Fitness 'Facts'"
"Losing Weight with P90X"
Got something to say? Chat with the writers and other readers this coming Monday, March 22nd, at 8:00 PM ET, 5:00 PM PT, in the Beachbody Chat Room!
If you'd like to ask a question or comment on this newsletter article, click here to add a comment in the newsletter review section or you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Check out our Fitness Advisor's responses to your comments in Steve Edwards' Mailbag on the Message Boards. If you'd like to receive Steve Edwards' Mailbag by email, click here to subscribe to Steve's Health and Fitness Newsletter. And if you'd like to know more about Steve's views on fitness, nutrition, and outdoor sports, read his blog, The Straight Dope.
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|Assistant Coach
|Arroyo, Puerto Rico
|Previous College:
|SUNY Albany '11
|B.S. - Human Biology
Wilfredo de Jesus begins his second season as an assistant track and field coach, working primarily with throwers. He also helps with strength training and off-season work for all speed and power events.
In 2011-12, he was responsible for the first women's individual Landmark Champion in the history of the Academy, Tara Mulligan. In working with De Jesus, her personal best mark in the Hammer Throw improved from 33 meters to a mark of 42.49m. She repeatedly broke Academy records throughout the season in the both the Hammer and Weight Throws (8 times). Milligan was also Landmark Conference Runner-up in the WT with a mark of 13.1m.
In addition to the success Coach de Jesus achieved with Midshipman Mulligan, he also coached Kevin Stapf (who had not thrown prior to last season) to a national ranking of 26th in the Javelin with a mark of 59.08m. The men's throwing crew performed well as a whole under the guidance of De Jesus. After a four year hiatus from throwing, SR Ed Logan threw a personal best mark in the Shot Put of 13.13m, which was also a runner-up finish in the Landmark Conference Championships.
De Jesus is the 2007 Puerto Rican National Athlete of the Year. He is also Puerto Rico's record holder in the Under-23 hammer throw at 64.39 meters and brings a wealth of experience in the throwing events.
De Jesus has represented Puerto Rico at several international competitions including the Central American and Caribbean Championships in 2009 (Havana, Cuba) and in 2010 (Mayaguez, Puerto Rico) finishing as high as seventh place in the hammer. He was a bronze medalist at the 2007 Junior Pan American Games in the same event.
He also has been involved in competitive weightlifting since high school, where he twice finished as national runner-up for Puerto Rico in the Super-Heavyweight class. He currently competes for USA Weightlifting during his "off-season" in the Snatch and Clean & Jerk.
His collegiate honors included the IC4A indoor champion in the weight throw (2011), IC4A outdoor champion in the hammer throw (2011), America East indoor champion in the weight throw (2009, 2010 and 2011), America East outdoor champion in the hammer throw (2009, 2011), America East Conference indoor performer of the year (2011) and SUNY-Albany indoor MVP (2011).
De Jesus earned a B.S. degree in human biology at SUNY Albany in 2011. He also completed the USATF Level 1 coaching certification this past winter.


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Store located in Shopping mall/center : Westbrook Mall
Store brand name : Westbrook Outreach
Address & Location : 1200th Avenue & 37th Street SW, Calgary, Alberta - AB T3C 1S2, Canada
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Who could have predicted it? Master Chief will return to the Halo franchise at some point in the future.
That's according to 343 Industries' big cheese Frank O'Connor, who was speaking at Comic-Con over the weekend.
Halo 3 finished with Master Chief in cryosleep as his ship approached a mysterious planet, but since then his story has taken a back seat while the Halo universe expanded in other directions.
"We'd have to be the world's biggest a**holes not to follow through," O'Connor said. "We certainly haven't seen the last of Master Chief."
No one really expected Halo 3 to be the end of Master Chief, but it's good to have his return on record.
Halo: Reach will be out September 14.
Via IGN


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The electrical laboratory is one of Elabo's core competence areas. Elabo offers an exemplary and diverse range of products and services to fully equip electrical labs. Our lab solutions find application in industry in the areas of quality assurance, research and development, testing, prototype construction, and also in maintenance and service facilities. Elabo Labsystems have also become essential in medium-sized companies and in many other electrical engineering application environments.
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Lookers Audi are proud to serve our customers with an impressive selection of vehicles from the revered German manufacturer. We have Audi dealerships near you across the UK. In Scotland, we have Ayr, Edinburgh, Glasgow, Hamilton and Stirling. In the North-East of England; Newcastle, Teesside, Tyneside and Wearside (former Benfield dealerships). Whilst our showrooms in the South of England include Basingstoke, Camberley and Guildford. Our staff work tirelessly to provide exceptional customer service. With over 75 years of motoring experience, we are confident that you will be satisfied every step of the way.
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Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Comic 441: Too Many Problems To List Them All
Seriously, where do I start with this one?
-Ok yeah you are old enough to have kids but you are in your mid-twenties I think. You've been able to have kids for about the past decade. This is nothing new.
-Seriously, when are you going to get sick of the "Ha ha! I'm treating something alive likes it's a machine or vice versa!" joke? Your joke here is nearly identical to comic 218.
-Any part of this joke that isn't exactly like 218 is pretty damn close to 387.
-Lastly: I am not a woman, but I suspect that if I were, and if I had just given birth, I would not use the sentence "Sweet! We made a baby!" I suspect that I would say, "Sweet! I made a baby! You sat and did nothing!"
Update: I went and made a list of all the times we've seen the living thing/machine idea. It's over on the left in the Repeat Offenders column, and right here.
17 comments:
- AnonymousJune 26, 2008 at 12:52 AM
xkcd blows goat dicksReplyDelete
Well that's a bit more than I would say but hey, whatever.
- AnonymousJune 27, 2008 at 1:52 AM
I think that what you guys are doing here is kind of messed up. I found this blog tonight and decided to take a look over it. After all, it might have some good points? But all I really found was a sarcastic, bitter, and generally misunderstood critique of comics that you don't need to critique; if they're really so bad, XKCD wouldn't have the massive following that it does.ReplyDelete
It seems to me that you don't understand the rather specific humour in most of his comics- after all, reading over your review of comic 434 (XKCD Goes to the Airport) I noticed that you took "man page" to be a mispelling of "main page." While this isn't really evidence in itself to anything particular, it demonstrates a clear lack of understanding for the humour that he uses- humour that is not going to be understood by a large majority of the population.
You have.. two regular readers (who post feedback, at least). This isn't something you should feel proud that you do; you are not a martyr for baring yourself to the XKCD-sympathetic world. I found it rather sad that you're taking the creative work of an entirely unrelated person to you and mocking it with completely unfounded and unqualified principles of what constitutes pure or good humour.
- AnonymousJune 28, 2008 at 1:23 PM
I agree with the guy above me, your critiques are kind of ridiculous. Specifically because you assume that every comic is specifically about the author or something in his life.ReplyDelete
But, this argument is retarded in every way: "if they're really so bad, XKCD wouldn't have the massive following that it does."
Popularity is not quality. Look at pop music.
Perhaps a flying girl should drop Carl in front of Randall so they can recognize each other's humanity and the ire can stop.ReplyDelete
OR, Carl can continue criticizing XKCD out of what seems to be a love for the series, sometimes veering into ridiculous territory. That'd be fine and entertaining in my book.
Legit criticism: #441 is yet another example of the comic announcing a premise that's already in the comic. Heck, the top caption should be re-fitted as the fourth line of dialog.
Oh goodness so much to respond to. I'll start at the top.ReplyDelete
"a sarcastic, bitter, and generally misunderstood critique" that is awesome. I should put that at the top of my blog all the time. I am indeed bitter. And I am indeed sarcastic (please do not tell me sarcasm is a bad thing, it is, according to xkcd's main page, one thing that the comic is of).
Soon after the "manpage" thing I realized I was wrong, I should have gone back and corrected it. You are right. Though to be fair, I did say "I assumed "manpage" was a typo for "mainpage" only because I've heard of those."
I think I am enough of a computer person to get most of the jokes (I mean, I am running linux right now, so it's not like I'm totally an idiot at this stuff) and when I don't get the jokes, the forums can usually help me out. I wouldn't say there are too many comics where I don't get the jokes, usually it's just that they aren't funny.
If it makes you feel better, I am not particularly proud of what I do. I don't know why I started doing it or why I've continued, or how long I will keep doing it.
And please, please don't give me the "well it must be good because other people like it" argument. That's ridiculously illogical.
On to the comment #4! True, I shouldn't assume that every comic (especially the relationship ones) are about his life. After all, if so, he would have had several marriages by now, not to mention several happy relationships as well as an unfortunate restraining order concurrently. Nonetheless, in this particular comic, I can feel pretty sure that he is referring to himself and people of about his age. After all, who else would it be? Too much younger and they can't have kids, too much older and they are comfortable with the idea. And any other age and he wouldn't care, so he wouldn't make a comic of it.
I agree on the foolish logic of comment #3! I'm glad we agree on something.
Comment #5! I don't think of myself as angry with Randall. More disappointed. I wouldn't criticize it so much if I didn't care, but I feel weird because as I see it, the comic used to be good, started getting bad, shows no signs of improvement in the future, and I feel upset. I have, in fact, been told that I am treating the comic like I just had a bad breakup with it. This made me laugh, but it's true.
If you'd like, think of me as a dottering old mad who doesn't understand these Computro-Trons and these Interwebnets and I just like to complain that back in my day, we used sticks to count, the army knew how to fight a war, and kids were respectful to their elders and wore a decent amount of clothing.
ANYWAY thanks for the feedback gang, and if you think I'm a bitter, humorless idiot feel free to spend time elsewhere (I recommend, as I always do, www.qwantz.com)
- AnonymousJuly 18, 2008 at 2:33 PM
>>-Lastly: I am not a woman, but I suspect that if I were, and if I had just given birth, I would not use the sentence "Sweet! We made a baby!" I suspect that I would say, "Sweet! I made a baby! You sat and did nothing!"ReplyDelete
I am a woman, and I can tell you right now that you can't make a baby without a man being involved in some way. Yeah, the women have to do all the hard parts, and for that we definitely deserve some special acknowledgment, but when my husband and I have a baby, WE will have made it.
I found this cartoon hilarious. I don't think it is nearly identical to the others mentioned. Variations on the same theme are not the same joke. This criticism is like complaining about Monet painting the Rouen Cathedral a gazillion times.
-Ok yeah you are old enough to have kids but you are in your mid-twenties I think. You've been able to have kids for about the past decade. This is nothing new.ReplyDelete
The joke is obviously about maturity level and perception of self, not chronological age. It is the mentality of, 'holy crap, I'm going to be a parent! I suddenly don't feel so young anymore.' Duh.
-Seriously, when are you going to get sick of the "Ha ha! I'm treating something alive likes it's a machine or vice versa!" joke? Your joke here is nearly identical to comic 218.
What comic or comedian tells only one joke per topic? There are many successful and innovative comedians and comic artists who spent there career tells all different kinds of jokes on the same general theme.
-Lastly: I am not a woman, but I suspect that if I were, and if I had just given birth, I would not use the sentence "Sweet! We made a baby!" I suspect that I would say, "Sweet! I made a baby! You sat and did nothing!"
Men refer to their offspring as "my son" or "my daughter". Couples refer to them as "our children." Biologically, both the man and woman make the baby, and emotionally, if they are a couple and raise the child together, certainly the man has no less association with being responsible for the child.
I think you are just looking for things to complain about.
I wonder why this post has gotten the longest and most serious discussions in the comments. Probably just because I made the tone of the original post so angry. Not that I regret it. This blog serves no purpose if it doesn't generate controversy on the nature of humor.ReplyDelete
Anon - UM YEAH I knew that men were needed to make babies. I'm pretty sure I understand that process. Also the fact that you refer to both a spouse and Monet in a mere two paragraphs proves that you are clearly the most mature and intellectual commenter I've gotten yet (no offense, other guys, I love you all, but come on - Rouen Cathedral? You are not nearly at that level).
Anyway where was I. You may very well be right on the We vs I issue, nonetheless, I still think there is a level of equality (4 "We"s vs. 0 "I"s) that strikes me as odd. I was probably a bit too disparaging towards the father in this case, but still - am I wrong to say the woman does substantially more work and goes through substantially more pain during pregnancy and birth? It's really not that important though, so if you still disagree that's fine.
As to whether it's too similar to 218 I am going to have to stand firm. In each case, the idea is a) My generation is clearly not ready for the responsibilities we currently have, and b) so we are treating something serious and involving a human life as though it were some kind of toy, game, or electronic machine.
Why do I think 218 is hilarious but this one sucks, given how similar they are? Good question. In part, 218 came first, so it felt more original. But it's not just that - 218 is also much more specific (in general, details = Laffs A Plenty), and the image it conjures is a bit less disturbing. Plus I simply have a very special place in my heart (no irony intended, for real) for the NES. It is not something I can control. Also I think it's funnier because anyone can fuck up raising kids, but the idea that you could be so bad at surgery but somehow manage to become a surgeon is funnier.
As to Monet - the difference I see is that those paintings were made as part of a series. It's not like Money was sitting there going "oh MAN I need to sell some paintings - hey, everyone liked that one I did of that cathedral, let's whip up some more!" As far as I know.
Of course there are differences (for one, it's not like the heart surgery comic was the most popular thing he's ever done [though if he writes a "sudo bake me a cake" comic I will kick him in the balls]) but still - they aren't meant to go together, as I see it, and I'm the only one saying they form a sort of series. I'm sure if you asked him, he would say something more along the they-are-different line rather than they-form-a-series.
Marf - Of course the joke is about maturity level and not age. That's clearly the point. He's saying "while I'm biologically capable of having kids, I am not psychologically ready", to phrase it in a totally humorless way. But my point was that he's been biologically capable for at least a decade, probably, and unless he never thought about it or unless he was mature enough then but isn't now, I wonder what took him so long. I for one think it is terrifying that under some circumstances I could have kids now. But I thought that when I was 15. Nothing new.
You have also stumbled upon a difference between comic strips and stand-up comedy. A comedian tells jokes that are designed, usually, to flow and relate to each other and vary around a similar idea. Comic strips (and single panel comics, and webcomics, etc) generally don't. Or if they do, they are very broad - the difficulties of living with teenagers, say, or the traits of specific characters. The ones whose topics are too narrow - a kid who always causes trouble, a cat who is lazy - these comics suck.
George Carlin told a great many jokes on language, a broad topic. Carlos Mencia tells jokes about stereotypes about Mexicans. One of these is broad, one is narrow. One of these is an icon of comedy getting the Mark Twain award for humor, one is a hack who is possibly the worst working comic in America today. You see the difference? "Treating a living thing like a computer or vice-versa" is narrow enough and common enough that Yahtzee Croshaw specifically mentioned it in his video about sucky webcomics.
Relevant text - "all you have to do is apply video game logic to the real world for comic effect" He's talking about video games of course, because that's what he does, but you get the idea. A comic - especially one that only updates three times a week - will not have the flow and spontenaity of a stand-up routine, no matter how hard it tries. Give me an example of a comedian - a good comedian - who got famous on that one topic and I'll reconsider. (there's one I can think of but we'll see if you mention this person and we'll go from there...)
And lastly, jesus maybe I should have left that "we" vs "I" point out if people are going to totally misunderstand what I meant. I would argue that biologically, a man and woman make a zygote (like anon above, did you think I had missed that in Bio class? Or life in general?) but not a baby. The woman does most of the work in turning the zygote into the baby. As my good pal Barack Obama says, "Any fool can make a baby." I'm not talking about who raises the child - as you say, ideally two parents raise the child - but neither is randall. He and I are only talking about "making" the child, and that's basically what a woman does.
As to whether I am just looking for things to complain about, that is a legitiamte critique. Obviously having started a website at xkcdsucks.blogspot.com colors how I view the comic. I try to be objective, but if you think I failed that it totally allowed.
- AnonymousMarch 30, 2009 at 1:34 AM
sorry, i err just wanted to point out that the only people who post abotu how crap xkcd is are the ones that write the stupid blog. the rest of us know theyre full of shit.ReplyDelete
- xkcd fanApril 28, 2009 at 7:25 PM
Carl, you have to admit that males do play a role in the reproductive process.ReplyDelete
- xkcd fanApril 28, 2009 at 7:29 PM
And plus, what's with the "COME ON RANDALL YOU CAN TRY HARDER"? Anything Randall tries you criticize, regardless of how funny his work actually is.ReplyDelete
but that's because he never tries very hard to be funny! or he is trying and failing, in which case I amend my statement to become GET A NEW JOB, RANDALLReplyDelete
- AnonymousMay 19, 2009 at 9:31 PM
Strangely enough, Carl, that's exactly how I was feeling the day I gave birth. Last Monday. Maybe you just don't have the same sense of humor we do. ;)ReplyDelete
I used to think I would be offended by the "we" made a baby thing, or "we" had a baby, becuase it was ME who would do all the work. But now, and I don't know why, it's totally a "we" thing. And I think almost every parent is amazed that we could be trusted with the responsibility of children.
Anyway. I found this post because I couldn't remember which comic number this one was. Ha ha. I guess you and Randall Munroe don't share the same sense of humor at all. I, personally, find his stuff hilarious.
I agree with you Carl (although I'm late to the party) that 218 was actually kind of funny (still kind of disturbing no matter how audacious the scenario) whereas this one wasn't. Forget all the crap about "we" vs. "I" because as was demonstrated above everyone will just walk over you for being a dick and only trying to find bad criticisms of the comic because you can't find anything else to critique about.ReplyDelete
I personally felt that just the premise given with the guy's (read: Randall Munroe) comments to his "wife" about if they made the baby wrong and that they should disassemble it is COMPLETELY unnecessary, I wouldn't say it is contrived dialogue, but it falls under that category of things you just fucking would never say in real life, TO ANYONE.
As seen in other comments on this blog, this I think is some of the worst dialogue to come from Randall, worse than "can you do me without a condom?" because of what this dialogue is implying. Randall may be trying to make a crack that he doesn't believe that he's mature enough to be a parent but... why the fuck did you think it was a good idea to say "we should disassemble it, check all the parts and put it back together"? The premise you are putting forward with that comment is that you think there are people in the world who do not understand that you can do that with machines because that is how they were built but you CAN'T do that with humans and animals.
Really Carl, you should have just stuck with that critique, because it's a good thing to talk about and it wouldn't have led to all this whining from the xkcd fans (but that doesn't matter since I'm late to this party ;P)
- AnonymousJanuary 1, 2010 at 6:47 PM
I just gotta point this out. I was reading your critique, and as I clicked the comics that you linked to show the similarities between them, I laughed at both of them, and still thought this one was funny.ReplyDelete
You do have a valid point about the parents in this comic being horrible and not funny, but the way it's presented gives it a humorous spin.
And the point of all of the we vs. I stuff was for it to seem more as a problem for both of them rather than hostility toward one or the other. Because seriously how would it have sounded if they had said
"Sweet! I made a baby!"
"Are you sure you did it right?"
Obviously, it sounds a bit like the man is accusing the woman of incompetence, which would be MUCH more offensive than the man taking some credit for the formation of a child.
Anyway, unlike most of the xkcd fanboys who try to flame you, I do see why you do this. It's first to criticize xkcd for not being as good as it used to be, and pissing off all of the fanboys is just a bonus. At least, that's the impression I get.
Hello! nice post dude. You must be the best in this. i hope to learn a lot of things about comics and cartoons in this website.ReplyDelete


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In the world of cinema, sports stories are common, derivatively so. Regardless of whether they are fictional, inspired by true events or documenting actual true events, they all seem to follow the same formula, but it's a formula that works and has proven itself to time and time again. Last year's The Fighter and 2009's The Blind Side proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt with multiple Oscar nominations and positive word of mouth. Although the new documentary, Undefeated, follows the same trajectory of those films—kids in a rundown neighborhood overcome their hardships to achieve success—there's something about it that makes it seem unlike anything that has come before. It's inspiring, heartfelt and truly wonderful. This isn't some manipulative, manufactured Hollywood tale. This is a real, deeply human experience and it hits you hard. I haven't felt such emotional joy in a long time and if you're willing to give this film a chance, I'll bet you'll feel the same.
The Manassas Tigers high school football team of North Memphis in Tennessee has never won a playoff game. In their 110 year existence, not once have they been able to say they were among the best in the area. Undefeated is about that—a team who, under the supervision of volunteer Coach Bill Courtney, finally begins to achieve success—but it doesn't limit itself to on the field antics. Courtney doesn't just take it upon himself to turn the football program at the school around. He implants himself in these kids' lives and teaches them to respect each other, molding them into the people he knows they can be.
These kids have had a rough time growing up. Almost none of them have parents who have graduated college and most have relatives serving jail time. Their neighborhood is a shantytown, populated with run down houses and trash littering the street. They have no money and struggle to get by. They start fights over trivial matters, like someone sitting too close to them, and their attitudes are sometimes hateful, to the point where cops won't even allow them to shake hands with the opposing team after a game in fear of a fight. It's easy to look at them and conclude that they're more likely to end up behind bars themselves than have a winning season.
It would be easy to fall into a life of crime when surrounded by so much negativity, but there's one thing that keeps these kids from deviating too far from the path of nobility: football. As crazy as it may seem, especially with a team who hadn't been able to achieve much of anything in past years, football means everything to some of them. It keeps them busy, motivated and off the streets. It gives them a sense of camaraderie and ignites friendships, even though their care for each other sometimes dissipates into petty squabbling.
But every time a conflict breaks out, Coach Courtney is there to fix it. His words are powerful and he manages to calm them down and correct them, even at the cost of his own sanity. He wants to win games, of course—what coach doesn't?—and he amps his kids up for that purpose, but his intentions go so much deeper. He shapes their lives and teaches them the importance of unselfishness and kindness. He personally intervenes whenever he can because, in a way, he considers himself a father to them, a figure many of them don't actually have. After six years coaching that team, Coach Courtney may not have an overall winning record, but he's nevertheless the type of coach all coaches everywhere should strive to be like.
Undefeated is a movie worthy of tears, but not out of sadness. This is a hopeful movie and it shows just how great we as humans can be when we show a little bit of compassion for those around us. Aside from a couple seniors who ended up going off to college (and one playing for the Southern Mississippi football team), I have no idea where these kids are or where they will end up, but the film leaves you with unflinching hope that they'll continue with the lessons they've learned from Coach Courtney and make something of themselves. If even one of them does, Courtney will have done something truly amazing and it all begins with what you see in this film. Undefeated is intense, exciting, emotional and wonderfully uplifting. It's not to be missed.
Undefeated receives 5/5


text:
Spanish race car driver Maria De Villota, who was seriously injured in a test crash on Tuesday, has lost her right eye. She's in critical but stable condition.
De Villota was testing with F1 team Marussia at Duxford Airfield in Cambgridge, England earlier this week. She'd reportedly finished a run and was pulling off the track at slow speed when the car accelerated suddenly into a truck. She hit helmet first.
Statement From Marussia
Maria's care and the wellbeing of her family remain our priority at this time. Her family are at the hospital and we are doing everything possible to support them. We ask for everyone's patience and understanding with regard to updates on Maria's condition. We will provide further information when it is appropriate to do so and with consideration for her family.
Theories for what happened include the car's anti-stall system suddenly kicking in or, perhaps, De Villota passing out on the accelerator.


text:
by Paula M. Riley
Certain acts of kindness can change a life, others can change a country, but only a few can do both.
Recent Penn Charter graduates, Marisa Shepard and Erika Krum, raised $16,800 in their senior project and accomplished both. Because of their dedication and creative fundraising, the two friends raised enough funds to send Ernesto Shakazulu, an orphan from Malawi, to college in the United States – his first step to becoming a neurosurgeon.
A small African country of 16 million people, Malawi has 1.9 physicians for every 100,000 people and just one neurosurgeon who spends half his time in England. Shakazulu plans to be the first neurosurgeon dedicated 100 percent to Malawi.
"Shakazulu's story was so unlike what we were used to that it struck us deeply," Shepard said. "By helping Shakazulu reach his dreams, we knew we could help all of Malawi."
She and Krum heard about Shakazulu from Bruce Main, an inspirational speaker and president of Urban Promise Ministries in Camden, NJ. Each spring, Main visits seniors at Penn Charter before they embark upon their senior project; he challenges the students to use the projects to pursue passions and examine priorities.
As he does each year, Main wove engaging stories of the individuals served by Urban Promise Ministries. Dedicated to equipping children and teens with skills needed for academic achievement, life management, spiritual growth and leadership, Urban Promise Ministries touches the lives of hundreds of impoverished children in Camden, Trenton, Wilmington, Toronto, Vancouver, Uganda, Honduras and Malawi.
Shakazulu's parents were victims of the Malawi AIDS epidemic, and so Shakazulu was on his own. He slept under buses and robbed people to survive until Urban Promise found him when he was 9 years old. He changed his life, worked hard and was accepted in the pre-med program at Azusa Pacific University in California. The school gave him a partial scholarship but he needed $15,000 more.
As Shepard and Krum listened to Main's story of Shakazulu, their hearts ached for the boy, who, like them, dreamed of attending college and starting a career. Shepard had recently been accepted at the University of Michigan and Krum was awaiting an answer from Colgate University, where she will attend this fall. They felt incredibly connected to Shakazulu's college dreams,
"Why had he gotten so far only to have to stop pursuing his dreams"? Shepard asked herself as Main told Shakazulu's story.
With tears streaming down her face, Shepard walked up to Main after his talk and told him that she and Krum were going to help Shakazulu go to college. The pair had already begun their senior projects – they planned two fundraising events but had yet to find the right charity.
"That was their 'ah-ha' moment," said Pam Shannon, director of Senior Comprehensive Program. "They knew they found what they wanted to do when they heard about Shakazulu."
At Penn Charter, Krum explained, she was taught that everyone should have the opportunity to reach his or her full potential. Helping Shakazulu attend college was fulfilling the lessons she and Shepard had learned in school.
Shannon admits she initially thought their plans of raising $15,000 were a bit ambitious, but said they were diligent, passionate and never lost focus, adding, "They defied the odds."
Over the next two months, the seniors planned the parties and pursued donations from local restaurants, salons and businesses.
"Some people were so touched by Shakazulu's story – they were so generous," Krum explained. Before long, Shepard said, they had the fundraising down to a science and loved telling people about Shakazulu's plight.
The pair had hoped 400 would attend the high school dance party, when only 160 kids came and only $1200 was raised, Krum and Marissa knew they had to work harder on the cocktail party.
They created raffle baskets and secured many auction items, including vacation stays, sporting tickets and memorabilia. The duo secured food and drink donations and held the party in a private home. Main attended the party and told the guests more about Shakazulu and Urban Promises. It was a huge success and the total raised was $16,800.
"To raise over $15,000 in just two months for anyone is very impressive," Main said "And to do so in the waning days of their senior year is amazing. I am so moved by their commitment."
Krum and Shepard are happy with their success but focusing on what comes next.
"We are already looking for juniors to take this as their senior project next year so Shakazulu can stay in school," Krum explained.
While the girls were celebrating their graduation, Main went to Malawi and secured Shakazulu's visa and finalized travel arrangements and other preparations. Shakazulu arrives in California on Aug. 27 to begin his pursuit of becoming a neurosurgeon.
"I am so incredibly grateful," Main said. "These girls have changed a life – what a legacy that is."