text:
- Unreported Judgment
Johnson v George [2018] QSC 140
SC No 451 of 2018
Trial Division
Supreme Court at Townsville
14 June 2018
12 June 2018
North J
SUCCESSION – PERSONAL REPRESENTATIVES – RIGHTS, POWERS AND DUTIES – DISPOSAL OF BODY – burial rights – dispute between siblings – significance of Aboriginal cultural, spiritual and religious reliefs – ascertaining relevant circumstances
ABORIGINAL AND TORRES STRAIT ISLANDER PEOPLES – OTHER MATTERS – burial rights – significance of Aboriginal cultural, spiritual and religious reliefs
Succession Act 1981 (Qld), s 6
Uniform Civil Procedure Rules 1999 (Qld), r 610
Darcy v Duckett [2016] NSWSC 1756, applied
Doherty v Doherty & Anor [2006] QSC 257, cited
Frith v Schubert & Anor [2010] QSC 444, cited
Jones v Dodd [1999] SASC 125, cited
Keller v Keller (2007) 15 VR 667, cited
Laing v Laing [2014] QSC 194, cited
Roma v Ketchup [2009] QSC 442, cited
South Australia v Smith [2014] SASC 64, applied
Tufala v Marsden & Anor [2011] QSC 222, cited
Ugle v Bowra & O'Dea & Anor [2007] WASC 82, cited
M Jones for the applicant, appearing pro bono
The respondent appeared in person
Direct access brief for the applicant
- NORTH J: The applicant seeks orders pursuant to s 6 of the Succession Act 1981 (Qld) that the body of his father[1] be released to him for the purposes of funeral and subsequent burial at Charters Towers, Queensland. The applicant also seeks an order entitling him to withdraw a sum of $8,000.00 from the deceased's bank account to pay the funeral expenses.
- According to the affidavit and other evidence[2] (no death certificate was exhibited) the deceased died on 16 May 2018 at the Townsville General Hospital and his body is currently held at the Townsville Hospital Morgue. He was an Aboriginal man and is survived by nine children. He did not have a spouse at the time of his death and died intestate. The value of the estate is approximately $10,000.00. The applicant is his son. The application is opposed by some of the applicant's siblings on the basis of cultural reasons who seek to arrange the funeral and have the burial at Townsville.
- The respondent is a sister of the applicant, and I infer from the material, the eldest of the siblings. In his affidavit[3] the applicant named and listed the deceased's children:
- Christine;
- A male who is deceased;
- Gail;
- A male who is deceased;
- Lenny;
- Lyle;
- Brian;
- Michael;
- The applicant;
- Shirley; and
- Yasmin.
In his affidavit[4] the applicant said that of the nine surviving children one (his brother Michael) has an acquired brain injury and appears to be incapable of managing his affairs, three (the applicant, his sister Yasmin, and his sister Gail) support the burial in Charters Towers, and four (his sister Christine, his brother Lyle, his brother Brian, and his sister Shirley) oppose the burial in Charters Towers and wished the burial to take place "in country" at Townsville. At the time of swearing his affidavit the applicant was unsure of the wishes of his brother Lenny. On the day of the hearing a bundle of papers were emailed to the registry by him, they comprise Exhibit 3. They make it reasonably clear that he supports the position taken by the respondent Christine though, as a man, he says men should have the carriage of burial arrangements of a deceased aboriginal man.[5]
- The applicant in his affidavit states that his father was an elder of the Wulgurukaba People. The Wulgurukaba People are native to the Magnetic Island region, and the applicant in his affidavit states that his father was involved in a native title claim regarding Magnetic Island. Despite this, the applicant states that his father did not seem interested in cultural issues regarding burial at Magnetic Island. In his affidavit the applicant states that his father spent significant time in Charters Towers, where he both worked and lived. The applicant states that seven of the deceased's children (including himself) were born in Charters Towers and that his father had very strong friendships with a number of people in Charters Towers from his time spent working there. One of the deceased's sons is buried in the Charters Towers Cemetery and his daughter Gail also lives there.
- The determination of the application carries with it some urgency, the deceased having passed away on 16 May 2018.
The legal principles
- It is well settled that the court derives jurisdiction to determine burial disputes from s 6 of the Succession Act 1981 (Qld),[6] which relevantly provides:
- "Subject to this Act, the court has jurisdiction in every respect as may be convenient to grant and revoke probate of the will or letters of administration of the estate of any deceased person, to hear and determine all testamentary matters and to hear and determine all matters relating to the estate and the administration of the estate of any deceased person; and has jurisdiction to make all such declarations and to make and enforce all such orders as may be necessary or convenient in every such respect."
- By way of a general statement, and subject to the cases discussed below,[7] in situations where a deceased executed a will, the responsibility of arranging the funeral and burial of the deceased falls to the executor named in the will.[8] Where a deceased dies intestate, as is the case here, the common law position is that the person entitled to take letters of administration in priority is responsible for the arrangement of the funeral and burial.[9]
- Relevantly, in the case of an intestacy, rule 610 of the Uniform Civil Procedure Rules 1999 (Qld) ('UCPR') provides that:
- "The descending order of priority of persons to whom the court may grant letters of administration on intestacy is as follows—
- the deceased's surviving spouse;
- the deceased's children;
- the deceased's grandchildren or great-grandchildren;
- the deceased's parent or parents;
- the deceased's brothers and sisters;
- the children of deceased brothers and sisters of the deceased;
- the deceased's grandparent or grandparents;
- the deceased's uncles and aunts;
- the deceased's first cousins;
- anyone else the court may appoint.
- The court may grant letters of administration to any person, in priority to any person mentioned in subrule (1).
- The applicant need not establish priority for a person equal to or lower than the applicant in the order of priority but the existence or nonexistence and beneficial interest of any spouse or a person claiming to be a spouse must be sworn."
[Emphasis added]
- The persons entitled as a matter of priority to take out letters of administration in this case are the deceased's nine children equally. However a dispute has arisen within this class of persons, requiring the court to adjudicate as to the proper arrangements for and location of burial.
- As noted above at paragraph [7], it has been a longstanding common law principle that where a person dies intestate, the person entitled to take out letters of administration is the proper person to take responsibility for the burial of the deceased. However in a given case there may be important cultural considerations which may be taken into account.[10]
- In Darcy v Duckett Campbell J determined a similar burial dispute which required a consideration of Aboriginal cultural, spiritual and religious beliefs, and succinctly summarised the relevant legal principles as follows:[11]
"The applicable common law principles in this area of discourse were stated by Young J (as his Honour then was) in Smith v Tamworth City Council (1997) 41 NSWLR 680. So far as they are relevant to this case, his Honour summarised the relevant principles in the following way (at 693-4):
- "If a person has named an executor in his or her will and that person is ready, willing and able to arrange for the burial of the deceased's body, the person named as executor has the right to do so.
- Apart from appointing an executor who will have the right stated in proposition 1, and apart from any applicable statute dealing with the disposal of parts of a body, a person has no right to dictate what will happen to his or her body.
- A person with the privilege of choosing how to bury a body is expected to consult with other stakeholders, but is not legally bound to do so.
- Where no executor is named, the person with the highest right to take out administration will have the same privilege as the executor in proposition 1.
- The right of the surviving spouse or de facto spouse will be preferred to the right of children.
- Where two or more persons have an equally ranking privilege, the practicalities of burial without unreasonable delay will decide the issue."
It has, however, been recognised that these principles are not fixed rules which deal exhaustively with the subject. In South Australia v Smith, Nicholson J, after a review of the authorities, particularly in South Australia, concluded (at 255 [34]):
"The authorities decided in this State, considered to this point, suggest that no standard approach or hard and fast rule can be formulated and applied when determining a burial dispute of this nature. The proper approach, ultimately, requires a balancing of common law principles and practical considerations, as well as attention to any cultural, spiritual and religious factors that are of importance. Further, it is the unique factual context of the dispute itself which will determine the weight which particular factors should be accorded. This was the approach applied, more recently, by this court in Minister for Families and Communities v Brown. In that matter, Gray J considered not only which party had a stronger claim under common law, but also the 'lifestyle, relationship and practices of the deceased', in reaching a conclusion as to burial rights."
[Emphasis added]
- In South Australia v Smith Nicholson J also determined a burial dispute which involved the consideration of Aboriginal cultural, spiritual and religious beliefs. Nicholson J questioned the common law approach as a default position[12] and considered that it was problematic where it was highly unlikely that a grant of letters of administration would be sought.[13] Nicholson J identified four major considerations for the court in the resolution of the dispute before him:[14]
- Who might be entitled to obtain letters of administration in the event that such an application were to be made;
- The Aboriginal cultural matters and concerns raised in the evidence;
- The deceased's own wishes; and
- The wishes and sensitivities of the living close relatives.
- The flexible balancing of common law principles with practical considerations in the particular case, while taking into account indigenous cultural and spiritual factors of importance suggested by Campbell J in Darcy, is appropriate in this case. To the list of considerations suggested by Nicholson J in SA v Smith I would add the need for the funeral and burial to be held in a timely way, and the costs and logistical difficulties attendant upon any competing ceremonies and burials.
- For practical reasons associated with the need I have identified that a funeral and burial be held in a timely way consistent with the flexible approach that I have adopted results in the need to avoid the hearing of an application being bogged down or complicated by an over adversarial approach to the consideration of the matters at hand. In Ugle v Bowra & O'Dea & Anor [2007] WASC 82 at [1] (cited with approval in Frith v Schubert & Anor [2010] QSC 444) McKechnie J said:
"It is in the nature of these applications that there is often only a short time for parties to prepare their case and materials and to respond to the other side's case. This may lead to some possibility of injustice. Justice is relative not absolute and there has to be a balance between the need for prompt expedition of a matter that involves grief and loss to many people, together with the need to secure the burial of a person reasonably promptly, and the need for a full exploration of disputed matters. In this case, given much time, many issues could be ventilated and explored, but time is one thing that is simply not available. Pressures of time, stress and pain add to an already emotional situation where there are no winners and losers, only deeply held and legitimate feelings that are exacerbated by uncertainty."
- In Keller v Keller (2007) 15 VR 667 at [9] (also cited with approval in Frith v Schubert & Anor [2010] QSC 444) Hargrave J said:
"The authorities establish that the court does not, in an application such as this, embark upon a lengthy adversarial hearing to resolve the various claims and counter claims. This would delay the decision for an unacceptable period while the body remained undisposed of. Accordingly, cross-examination will usually be inappropriate."
- In this matter "the dispute was in substance one between competing claimants who wish to be given possession and control of the body of the deceased, to arrange for his funeral and burial. There has been no debate about the jurisdiction of the court to determine such a dispute".[15]
- At the hearing the applicant was represented by counsel who appeared pro bono and on a direct access brief from the applicant. The respondent, Christine George, appeared representing herself. Mr Brian Johnson also attended court, he was granted leave to sit at the bar table and participated in the hearing enjoying the same rights of audience as if he were a party joined in the application. There was no appearance by any other sibling but an affidavit of Yasmin Johnson was read before me and during the hearing, as I have said, an email with a bundle of documents from Leonard Johnson was admitted into evidence.[16] Gail Johnson did not appear but an affidavit sworn by her was read. Affidavits of service of the application or, strictly speaking notification, were read. I am satisfied that all interested siblings of the deceased (save for Michael) had notification of the hearing and the applicant's affidavit. Accordingly at the hearing I made an order pursuant to rule 117 of the UCPR that service be taken to have been made upon the remaining siblings on 6 June 2018.
Who might be entitled to obtain letters of administration?
- With the exception of Michael any or all of the other surviving children of the deceased have standing to apply for and would be entitled to obtain an order granting letters of administration in the circumstances that apply. But it is unlikely that letters of administration will issue. To date there has been no application for letters of administration. It is unlikely that an application will be made having regard to the size of the estate and particularly to the circumstance that the costs of any funeral and burial, whosever wish may prevail, will exhaust the only remaining asset of the estate, the proceeds of the bank account that has been identified.
- For this reason I do not regard this matter as significant. There is a deep divide between the children of the deceased and the resolution of the application is not assisted in circumstances where all who are interested have equal standing and are so divided.
Aboriginal cultural considerations
- The applicant says that the responsibility of arranging the funeral and burial of an Aboriginal man is 'men's business', that women are not allowed to view the body, but the whole family may attend the funeral. This evidence was based on his experience in the Northern Territory and Western Australia as opposed to Queensland.
- There is support for that evidence from Gail,[17] from Leonard's statutory declaration[18] and from Yasmin,[19] and was not challenged before me. But this aspect is not of itself decisive when evidence shows a difference of position between the brothers.
- Further there is the evidence of the deceased's historical connection with Magnetic Island and the connection the Wulgurukaba People have with Townsville. It is this factor that, I infer, leads the respondent and those that agree with her to favour a funeral and burial at Townsville, "in country".
The deceased's own wishes
- The applicant swears that he and a number of his siblings were born in Charters Towers and that after his parents separated in 1977 his father stayed in Charters Towers. It appears that he continued to live there for many years. Shortly before his death the deceased said that his wish was to be buried in Charters Towers.[20] This evidence was not challenged before me.
The wishes and sensitivities of living close relatives
- The preferred position of the applicant, Trevor, is for a funeral and subsequent burial at Charters Towers. The location of the funeral and burial is, he says, consistent with his father's wish, is affordable according to the quotes he has obtained from a funeral business in Townsville, and consistent with his father's connections with Charters Towers. He desires that the arrangements be under his control. This, he submits, is consistent with cultural considerations that men make arrangements for the burial of Aboriginal men and the confidence he said his father reposed in him by appointing him his Enduring Power of Attorney. Trevor's position is substantially supported by Gail, though she favours that a memorial service be held in Townsville at some time but that not necessarily should the body be at that service. Yasmin strongly favours that a funeral service be held in Townsville followed by a burial in Charters Towers, the latter consistent with her father's wishes, otherwise she supports Trevor's application. Christine, Brian and Leonard oppose Trevor having control of matters. In light of what they maintained was their father's strong cultural connection as a Wulgurukaba man with Magnetic Island and Townsville they favour a funeral and burial at Townsville.
- I have no doubt that the divergent wishes are strongly and honestly held by all concerned. But it is apparent, for a variety of reasons, relations are particularly strained between Trevor and his sister Christine and brother Brian. At the hearing Brian made his opinion of Trevor plain in a sustained and pointed address from the bar table. The basis for his opinion was not proven or supported by admissible evidence however. Prudently Mr Jones of counsel, for Trevor, did not object to Brian's comments made from the bar table without notice. Rather than responding and turning the hearing into a catalogue of competing allegations about matters of character and family history Mr Jones was content to rely upon the admissible evidence directed to the issues I have identified from the filed affidavits.
A timely burial, the costs and logistical difficulties
- Trevor, Yasmin and others have taken it upon themselves to make enquiries of funeral directors in Townsville and to obtain quotes for services and burial at either Townsville or Charters Towers. The balance of the evidence suggests that a funeral service could be conducted in either Townsville or at Charters Towers followed by an interment and burial at either Townsville or Charters Towers within the budgets suggested by Trevor in his application and affidavit, and that there are sufficient funds in the deceased's bank account to meet the costs of any combination of the venue for a funeral and subsequent burial. I might mention that in the material there is a suggestion from Trevor that he has a fear that the decomposition of the body of his father might make a funeral in Townsville followed by an interment in Charters Towers unpleasant because of smell. While that may be a concern of his there is no evidence before me that persuades me that this is a likelihood.
- Aboriginal cultural considerations relating to the funeral and burial of an Aboriginal man suggest that, whatever order is made, one of the sons of the deceased should have the carriage and control of the arrangements. This is acknowledged by Yasmin in her affidavit and I did not understand Christine to contest to the contrary at the hearing. There is evidence, which I accept, that late in his life the deceased reposed a degree of trust and confidence in Trevor.[21] The deceased appointed Trevor as his attorney under an Enduring Power of Attorney and asked Trevor to make arrangements for his funeral and pointedly requested that he be buried at Charters Towers. Trevor has demonstrated responsibility in seeking legal advice and seeking the assistance of the Court. This combination of circumstances, notwithstanding the strong objections of Brian, Christine and Leonard, I consider favours an order appointing Trevor as the person responsible for making arrangements for and seeing to the funeral and burial of the deceased.
- With respect to the issue of the place of burial the wishes of the deceased may be noted but the cases suggest that the wishes of a deceased are not decisive, and the deceased person should not be placed in a position where he or she could dictate matters to a person lawfully responsible for making arrangements. Nevertheless, in this case the deceased's wishes, as I find them to be, deserve some respect. A burial at Charters Towers is not demonstrated to be expensive nor logistically inconvenient. It is consistent with the wishes of the applicant and his sisters Gail and Yasmin. The deceased had a connection with Charters Towers for many years and one of his sons is buried there. In the circumstances the factual context of the dispute concerning burial suggests that the desires of the deceased, Trevor, Gail and Yasmin should be given affect to.
- Slightly different considerations apply concerning the disputed issue as to whether there should be a funeral service in Townsville. The historical and cultural connection the deceased had with Townsville and Magnetic Island as a Wulgurukaba man suggests that the holding of a funeral service in Townsville would be consistent with the acknowledgment of the cultural connection the deceased had "in country" and the legitimate concerns that a majority of the children have, consistent with the expressed preference of Gail, Yasmin, Christine, Brian and Leonard, that a funeral or memorial service be conducted in Townsville. The evidence suggests that there is sufficient funds in the deceased bank account to pay for a funeral service in Townsville and a subsequent interment and burial in Charters Towers. The funeral service should be conducted consistent with the practices of Wulgurukaba men as directed by the applicant. On the evidence that I accept I see no reason why the applicant should not be directed that the deceased body be present at the funeral service and that it not be buried or interred prior to the holding of that service.
- My conclusion plainly will upset many of the family but as Doyle CJ in Dodd v Jones[22] said:
"Sadly, the problem before me is really insoluble in one sense. It is impossible in any realistic sense to weigh the competing claims and arrive at what one would truly call a legal judgment. I understand and respect the wishes and beliefs of the plaintiff and of the defendant. There is no solution or compromise available to me that will satisfy each side. I can only make a decision and indicate my regret that it will cause pain to the unsuccessful party."
- At the hearing no person sought an order for costs in his or her favour save that the applicant sought reimbursement for some filing fees.
- The orders that I make therefore in light of my findings upon the evidence and these reasons are:
- Pursuant to section 6 of the Succession Act 1981 (Qld);
- The body of Arthur Charles Johnson (the deceased) be released to the Applicant, Trevor Baines Johnson, for the purpose of a funeral at Townsville and subsequent burial at Charters Towers, Queensland; and
- The Applicant be responsible for the arrangements for the funeral and burial but it is directed that the body of the deceased be present at the funeral.
- The Applicant be entitled to withdraw from bank account number 41624998 held in the name of Arthur Charles Johnson or "A C Johnson" with the Queensland Country Credit Union the sum of $8,000.00 for the purpose of paying the funeral expenses of Arthur Charles Johnson and that the Applicant repay to the said account any part of the sum of $8,000.00 which is not genuinely incurred in relation to those funeral expenses.
- The Applicant be entitled to withdraw from bank account number 41624998 held in the name of Arthur Charles Johnson or "A C Johnson" with the Queensland Country Credit Union the sum of $304.70 to reimburse himself for filing fees paid to the Supreme Court of Queensland on account of filing fees in this proceeding.
- Otherwise, there be no order as to costs.
[1] I am aware that in Aboriginal culture as a form of respect it is traditional not to name a deceased person by his or her name. Hence my use of the word 'deceased'. Regrettably the formal orders must identify the deceased.
[2] Affidavit TB Johnson filed 4 June 2018 at [2]-[3]. See also Exhibit 3 and Exhibit 4 which confirm the date of death at 16 May.
[3] Affidavit TB Johnson filed 4 June 2018 at [11].
[4] Ibid.
[5] At the hearing the applicant filed by leave an affidavit sworn by Yasmin on 8 June 2018. An annexure was an email from Shirley (document 10) in which she says she had no qualms about a burial in Charters Towers.
[6] Doherty v Doherty & Anor [2006] QSC 257 at [15] ('Doherty').
[7] Darcy v Duckett [2016] NSWSC 1756 ('Darcy'); South Australia v Smith [2014] SASC 64 ('SA v Smith').
[8] Laing v Laing [2014] QSC 194 at [6]; SA v Smith at [22].
[9] Tufala v Marsden & Anor [2011] QSC 222 at [3]; Roma v Ketchup [2009] QSC 442 at [10].
[10] Doherty at [20]-[21].
[11] Darcy at [6]-[7]. See also Jones v Dodd [1999] SASC 125 at [51].
[12] Mentioned above at paragraph [7].
[13] SA v Smith at [23].
[14] Ibid at [46]-[47], [55], [61] and [65].
[15] See Frith v Schubert & Anor [2010] QSC 444 per Peter Lyons J at [46]. See further his Honour's observations upon the relevant cases at paras [47]-[57].
[16] Exhibit 3.
[17] See affidavit GP Johnson filed 7 June 2018 at [28].
[18] See Exhibit 3.
[19] Affidavit YR Johnson filed by leave 12 June 2018 at [16].
[20] See affidavit TB Johnson filed 4 June 2018 at [40]; Affidavit GP Johnson filed 7 June 2018 at [18].
[21] As much is apparent from the affidavit of TB Johnson which is supported materially by the affidavit evidence of Yasmin and Gail. See also the affidavit of Barbara-Anne Gate filed by leave on 12 June 2018.
[22] [1999] SASC 458 at [36].
Editorial Notes
- Published Case Name:
Johnson v George
- Shortened Case Name:
Johnson v George
- Reported Citation:
- Court:
- Judge(s):
North J
14 Jun 2018
- Selected for Reporting:
Litigation History
|Citation or File
|Primary Judgment
|[2018] QSC 140 [2019] 1 Qd R 333
|14 Jun 2018
|Application for orders pursuant to s 6 of the Succession Act 1981 (Qld) for release of body of deceased for funeral and burial and order for withdrawal of funds from deceased's bank account for funeral expenses granted: North J.


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We will never know what would have happened in regard to spring college sports. Basketball ended right before national tournaments and college baseball and softball ended shortly after getting started.
Jackson State University might have been set for a great run in baseball before COVID-19 brought college sports to a halt in March. The Tigers entered the season with six players named First or Second Team Preseason All-SWAC. JSU was picked to finish second in the East Division behind Alabama State University.
First-Team All-SWAC third baseman Jaylyn Williams ended the season leading the SWAC in batting average with a .434 average. The senior's .508 on base percentage was good enough for second in the conference when play was suspended.
The Greenville, Miss. native started all 15 games for the Tigers in the shortened season. He got 23 hits in 53 at bats, 13 RBI, 11 runs and five doubles. Williams went four-for-five in stolen base attempts for the season as well.
Williams finished ranked in the SWAC at third in hits, eighth in RBI, fifth in doubles, and tied for first in sacrifice flies. The senior helped JSU finish, as a team, achieve the highest batting average in the SWAC when the season ended.
Last season, Williams played in 52 games as he finished with a .381 batting average. He went 72-for-189 at the plate with 55 RBI, 47 runs, 15 doubles, 10 stolen bases and five home runs.
Before joining JSU, Williams played two seasons at Copiah-Lincoln Community College. After playing high school baseball at Greenville Christian High School, Williams began playing for the Wolves.
As a freshman during the 2016-2017 season, Williams played in 47 games and finished with a .384 batting average. In 146 at bats, he collected 56 hits, 43 RBI, 40 runs, 29 walks, 15 stolen bases, 10 doubles, eight home runs and two triples.
In his final year at Co-Lin, Williams played in 41 games and a solid .341 batting average. He collected 44 hits, 44 runs, 37 RBI, 25 walks, 11 stolen bases, 11 doubles, and nine home runs in 129 at bats.
Jackson State was 9-7 overall and 2-0 in SWAC play before the season ended early. There is no telling how things would have ended for Williams and the Tigers but the makings were there for a run at the postseason. JSU brought plenty of talent into this season and some of talent including the senior Williams could return next season. The NCAA granted an extra year of eligibility to spring sports due to the pandemic.
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subset: commoncrawl


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The Air Force points to human error in the C130 accident in Montijo, held in July, which resulted in three deaths, one victim was seriously injured and three other had minor injuries.
The conclusion of the investigation process of the accident was revealed last Wednesday, in a statement, it was said that "the crew lost control of the aircraft, which turned to the right without chance of correcting its trajectory, leaving the track and immobilizing itself" and that this accident "occurred due to the inability of the crew to effectively control the aircraft".
According to the testimonies of the Air Force, the crew did not suffer "any damage or injury" when the plane went off the track, but as a result of "sudden immobilization, a fire broke out" in the landing gear area and the right wing, which eventually spread the fire to the rest of the fuselage. The crew then performed the procedures that were planned and were regularly trained in case of an emergency, for the evacuation of the aircraft.
However, the output by the load compartment "proved impossible due to the existence of smoke and temperature extremes, as well as structural damage to the fuselage".
Four members of the crew still managed to leave the C130 through the cockpit windows, but the others could not access the other emergency exits.
The Air Force also states that the infrastructure of the aircraft was ready for this operation without any restriction and have not been verified any meteorological factors that could, by itself, cause the accident.
In addition, the "aircraft did not have any problems or anomalies" and the "mission has been properly planned and coordinated".
The statement concludes that "the accident occurred simply due to the lack of ability of the crew to effectively control the aircraft during a maneuver whose purpose was to train for the interruption of the respective take-off", called the "abortion take-off".


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A Chillicothe, Texas man was sentenced with restitution Tues., Feb. 17 after pleading guilty to third degree theft of livestock and two counts of hindering a secured creditor. Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association Special Ranger Scott Williamson led the investigation. The Wilbarger County District Attorney Staley Heatly prosecuted the case.
The suspect, Chance Johnston, 31, of Chillicothe, Texas was employed by the victim, a rancher from Wichita Falls, Texas. The victim owns a cow and calf operation and he had hired Johnston several years ago to take care of his herd.
In late 2013, the victim was at his property in Wilbarger County and he counted his calves, noticing a larger unbranded calf. Approximately a week later, he returned to the property to check on the cattle and he noticed he was missing three calves, including the larger unbranded calf. The victim asked Johnston what happened to the calves, and Johnston stated they had died on the back side of the pasture. This made the victim suspicious.
It was also revealed that Johnston had sold mortgaged property without permission from banks in the area and he knowingly gave false information to banks to gain loan proceeds. He used the money to buy drugs and pay his bills. Johnston hindered a total of approximately $35,000.
After looking for the calves and hearing that Johnston had a drug addiction and was in trouble with several banks in the area, the victim decided to report his missing calves as stolen to TSCRA.
Sales records revealed that Johnston had sold three head of calves at the Wichita Falls Livestock Auction in November 2013. The calves sold matched the description of the ones the victim was missing. Two of the calves weighed approximately 200-260 pounds and the other was a larger calf weighing about 655 pounds. Additionally, none of the calves were branded. They were worth a total of $2,110.80.
Williamson met with Johnston at the Wilbarger County Sheriff's Department where the suspect confessed to stealing the three calves from the victim, selling mortgaged property and giving false information to banks to gain loan proceeds. He confessed that he committed the crimes because he needed money.
Johnston received three five year sentences of deferred adjudication and he was ordered to pay a total of $39,634.11 in restitution to the victims.
"It is extremely important for cattle ranchers to keep an accurate count on their livestock, practice branding and report suspicious activity to authorities," said Williamson. "If you do not follow these precautions, it makes it difficult for us to recover stolen livestock and return cattle back to the rightful owners."
Source: Texas and Southwestern Cattle Raisers Association


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The Power of Six
This book is filled with adventure & excitement. It is about an alien war and how certain of the Lorien people were sent to earth to be protected by their guardians until their powers developed and they would be able to fight their enemies (the Mogadorians). Nine children were sent, each with a guardian (Cepan) to protect them. Originally, a charm protected them and they could only be killed in order. That charm was broken in the first book (I am Number Four). Now the children need to find each other and find a way to defeat the Mogadorians and return life to their planet.


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Come Mother's Day, like many other burned-out moms, I will welcome sleeping in, breakfast in bed, homemade cards, presents, and other gifts of love. Oh, and also SLEEPING IN!!! There's just one problem with Mother's Day: It only happens once a year.
The question is, Why should we go through life feeling like goddesses only one measly day a year?
I pondered this as I read the results of a recent zulily.com survey about budgets; 45 percent of 1,000 moms polled nationwide said the pre-baby indulgence they missed most was having a day off. (I'll bet the other 55 percent of moms were too busy chasing a toddler to answer.) Perhaps not so shockingly, having a day off beat date night by a whopping 25 percent.
More from The Stir: What It's Like to Be a Mom Without a Mom, on Mother's Day
I, too, sometimes fall into the rut of wishing I had my old life back. The truth is, I feel this way because I don't regularly take enough time to pamper myself or do things I enjoy. I mean, sure, I watch TV with my husband at night, I go to a book club/wine club every month, and once in a long while I get a pedicure. Thing is, the leisure activities I do are typically passive (hel-lo, HGTV) or group-planned. I am not very proactive about pleasure. There are days when, sadly, the only respite I get is bathroom breaks, and even then someone is likely to bang on the door and ask me where the pencil sharpener is.
In the part of my mind where magical thinking occurs, I always figure that just as soon as I do this or catch up on that, I'll get around to relaxing. Inevitably, as each week passes by in a blur, I fail to carve out time for bike riding, browsing in bookstores, going to concerts, or just giving myself a facial -- stuff I used to regularly enjoy before I had kids. I don't have lofty ambitions; I have one baby, one teen with special needs, and one kid with a tween attitude, and the reality is there's not much free time. But I don't prioritize doing stuff for myself … just for everyone else.
More from The Stir: 9 Ways Moms Can Carve Out a Little 'Me' Time
I once interviewed time efficiency expert Julie Morgenstern, who advises moms to pick the thing that's missing in their life that brings them the most happiness, figure out how much time is needed to do it weekly, then announce to everyone in the family that they are taking that time to recharge. She called it protecting your me-time from "nibblers." It's also key to put the activity into your calendar, so it's more of a commitment (as in, you won't bail when your to-do list attempts to take over your brain).
I thought it was excellent advice. And of course, I never found time to do it. And of course, I am in desperate need of R&R and will happily settle for a couple of hours of extra sleep on Sunday. But I'm not going to let the royal treatment stop there -- I'm vowing to put some Mother's Day into every day. There's no going back to my pre-children life, but there is showing myself more love in the life I have.
More from The Stir: Mom Watches Her Baby Being Born via Surrogate in Gorgeous Photo Series
As with everything, it starts with baby steps. The other night, two of my kids were asleep, the third was at lacrosse practice, and my husband was en route home. I had a rare few moments of solitude and calm. I was about to tidy up the kitchen and living room when I glanced out the window and thought the twilight looked so inviting. So I poured myself a glass of iced tea, took the time to place an actual slice of lemon in it, and sat outside on our deck. I listened to the sweet sound of tweeting birds. I caught up with myself. I relaxed.
It wasn't much, but it was a start.
Image via iStock.com/ArtmannWitte; design by Anne Meadows


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- November 30, 2017
Theresa – Marchmont Edinburgh
Theresa got in touch about driving lessons during the summer. I had had the pleasure of teaching her boyfriend Sam a couple of years earlier. Theresa was starting from the very beginning having never driven a car before. We started in a quiet housing estate just near Morningside and not before long we were driving up and down through Morningside. Theresa was always enthusiastic and had lots of questions about driving which meant her understanding of things became very strong. Theresa was a medical student and has a really busy schedule with placements and exams so we were fitting driving lessons in when we could. With the new driving test fast approaching we were doing our best to bring everything together and try and sit and pass the test before the 4th of December. Theresa managed to find a cancellation on the second last day before the driving test changed. We practised everything one more time and arrived at the test centre with a few minutes to spare. Theresa managed to handle the pressure and did it passing with only two faults. Well done what a great way to end the existing test.
- Test Success


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In-Kind Taxes, Behavior, and Comparative Advantage
NBER Working Paper No. 21586
This paper treats taxation in kind (IKT) as an example of price regulation, emphasizing IKT-avoidance behavior, and its interactions with the other costs of price controls. This emphasis fundamentally changes efficiency conclusions, and adds new ones. IKTs do not in fact randomly sample suppliers. Large-scale IKTs, and not small-scale ones, may have especially large average efficiency costs. Ransoms or "commutation fees" are an IKT policy option, but are only efficiency enhancing in specific situations: more heterogeneity among suppliers, and avoidance technologies that result in avoidance behaviors that are poor signals of a supplier's opportunity cost. Avoidance behaviors are one reason why the social costs of wars and other public projects involving IKTs may have been underestimated.
Machine-readable bibliographic record - MARC, RIS, BibTeX
Document Object Identifier (DOI): 10.3386/w21586
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ClearVENT™ Sashless Double-Hung Window
Architectural Series | Series 464
ClearVENT™ sashless double hung windows offer clear unobstructed vision as there are no horizontal central sash rails. As one sash is lifted the other lowers (the sashes are joined via cords and pulleys).
Features & Benefits
- Sashes can be secured with key or non-key locking shoot bolt.
- A fixed sill glass panel can be fitted into the ClearVENT™ sashless double hung window to make it easy to get top ventilation only. This fixed sill panel could also be used on tall windows in elevated installations as a safety barrier (check the requirements of local authorities).
- ClearVENT™ sashless windows can be fitted with external flyscreens, special extrusions have been cut to make sure this detail matches the overall window design, no turn buckles required.
- Sashes are counterweighted by the adjoining sash via stainless steel/nylon pulleys and cords.
- ClearVENT™ vertical sliding sashes can also be installed into Series 50 or 51 hinged and Bi-fold doors.
Product specifications
- Maximum Panel Height* :1526mm
- Maximum Panel Width* :1210mm
- Maximum Glass Thickness :≤ 6.38mm
- SHGC Range :N/A
Testing & Certification
- AS2047 Performance Tested
Learn More
Colour & Finish
A range of modern and
classic colour options are
available to suit your
window and door selections.
View our colour options build
your dream home today!
Our hardware range
Discover our range of stylish and innovative solutions for residential and commercial windows and doors.


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[Photos below.] The Romney rally in Bucks County, PA had a crowd of 30,000+, reportedly greater than any rally held by a Republican candidate in the history of that state.
Misameach, a cheer-up squad servicing the NJ and Eastern PA areas got to introduce sick children and adults to speak to and get pictures taken with Mitt Romney.
See below for photos:
{Matzav.com Newscenter}


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F1 Coordinator
Staff member
F1 Coordinator
Premium Member
- May 20, 2018
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Must be to a LONDON server● Gamertag: AlexLK7-
● Nationality: French
● Assists used: Automatic GearBox, ABS, Racing Line (Corners only)
● Have you read and understood the AOR Rules ? Yes
● Are you committed to completing the whole season as an active member of the league ? Yes
● Have you taken part in any previous AOR F1 league? If so, please state your most recent league/split: no
● Have you ever requested a name change on the AOR forums? If so, please state your previous username(s) : No
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We present a systematic study of the effect of variation of the zinc oxide (ZnO) and copper indium gallium (di)selenide (CIGS) layer thickness on the absorption characteristics of CIGS solar cells using a simulation program based on finite element method (FEM). We show that the absorption in the CIGS layer does not decrease monotonically with its layer thickness due to interference effects. Ergo, high precision is required in the CIGS production process, especially when using ultra-thin absorber layers, to accurately realize the required thickness of the ZnO, cadmium sulfide (CdS) and CIGS layer. We show that patterning the ZnO window layer can strongly suppress these interference effects allowing a higher tolerance in the production process.
© 2014 Optical Society of AmericaFull Article | PDF Article
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Opt. Express 26(2) A39-A53 (2018)
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Opt. Express 27(8) A269-A279 (2019)
Chidozie Onwudinanti, Robin Vismara, Olindo Isabella, Louis Grenet, Fabrice Emieux, and Miro Zeman
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- Home
- Our Products
|All orders for the hydrogen machines from AlkalineWaterPlus are pre-orders, and will be delivered approximately 3 weeks after the date of order. We do this to ensure you are always getting the latest upgrade of the machine, freshly made.
Product Description
The High Efficiency MEA-H2 Machine Has Been Redesigned.
The newest design for the MEA-H2 is better than ever! This hydrogen machine is our newest one, released in October, 2019. Please note, as with all of our hydrogen machines, it takes about 3 weeks from the time you order to the time you receive the machine. We order straight and fresh from the factory to ensure you always get the newest and the best, when it comes to hydrogen gas machines.
- The MEA-H2 High Efficiency Hydrogen Machine uses DuPont's latest technology in SPE (Solid Polymer Electrolyte) pure hydrogen production.
- The MEA technology is the newest technology from DuPont, and is better than SPE/PEM technology, as described in depth in this article about MEA.
- The engineering team (designers) of the MEA H2 Machine are regularly trained and updated in the latest hydrogen production techniques by DuPont. In particular they are experts in purity and efficiency when it comes to producing molecular hydrogen machines. And, from that background, this machine was made.
- The MEA High Efficiency H2 Machine is brand new in October of 2019. This is the very latest and best of the DuPont H2 production technology.
- What does this upgrade in H2 generators mean to you? The MEA technology is smaller, yet more powerful, than its predecessor, SPE/PEM. With MEA (Micro Electrode Array) the membranes are arranged in such a way as to be more powerful and efficient. In the long run, the High Efficiency H2 Machine will last a whole lot longer than the earlier models. It will give you the purest 99.999% quality of molecular hydrogen (just like the earlier SPE H2 models), however due to the MEA ability to produce more hydrogen with far less energy, you can expect your hydrogen machine to last longer and produce more H2. It's also smaller and so is more portable than other H2 gas machines of its kind.
- The original breakthrough by DuPont was SPE/PEM (solid polymer electrolyte / proton exchange membranes). SPE/PEM guaranteed purity of hydrogen production, whereas earlier methods of producing hydrogen were not nearly as pure and healthy.
- MEA SPE technology uses a series of proton exchange membranes, which are stacked in such a way to get the best results.
- The MEA PEM [proton exchange membrane] is the ultimate and best version of proton exchange membrane.
- Best materials: The plates are Japanese platinum electrodes [highest quality]. The earlier SPE/PEM electrodes were made of pure titanium, but this latest DuPont technology (MEA) includes using the highest quality of platinum coated titanium electrodes from Japan. The extra price of using platinum in the plates is offset by the cost savings of the highly efficient design, so overall you are getting better quality with no raise in price.
- The H2 flow is up to 300 ml/min. Most SPE/PEM hydrogen gas machines will give about 180 ml/min of H2 flow per port, however the strength and efficiency of the MEA High Efficiency H2 Machine comes to play in this extra added advantage of such a high flow-rate of hydrogen to a single port.
- 99.999% H2 gas purity
- The MEA-H2 is light-years ahead of any other SPE/PEM H2 gas machine.
- The MEA High Efficiency H2 Machine is both a hydrogen gas machine and a H2 water maker. To make hydrogen water, simply drop the hose into a bottle of water for just a few minutes. [Note: You can do this with any liquid by the way.]
- It is very sharp and professional-looking; small enough to put it just about anywhere; produces optimumal levels of H2 gas for breathing; and is the ultimate tool for both H2 breathing and hydrogen water drinking.
Using the MEA-H2 Hydrogen Machine
MEA High Efficiency H2 Generator is based on medical science and testing. There are many benefits of molecular hydrogen and personally I like to consume it in every way possible. So, I definitely use this machine regularly and recommend it as a wonderful investment and addition to your healthy home.
The MEA-H2 High Efficiency Hydrogen Machine is a very advanced piece of equipment, perfectly suited for either home or professional use.
Administering H2 Gas gives you antioxidants in its purest and simplest form to go to work instantly to help fight free-radical damage. See the Molecular Hydrogen page for more information about this.
How to use the MEA High Efficiency H2 Machine as an H2-Gas Inhaler
- To set it up, you first add distilled water or preferrably double-distilled water to a reservoir within the MEA High Efficiency H2 machine. Fill it to between the low and high markings on the front water level indicator. Make sure to use the funnel while filling. Spilling water into the machine itself could result in damage.
- Remove the rubber cap over the H2 outlet. Push the cannula into that port.
- Assemble the plug/power pack. Plug the machine in.
- Turn the machine on.
- Use the "Setting" button on the top of the machine to set it for both your desired session time and speed of flow.
- Session time: A single push of the Setting button will toggle your session time up in 10-minute increments...all the way up to a maximum of 180 minutes. After 180 another push brings it back to zero.
- Flow-rate of H2: You can choose "Low", "Medium" or "High" flow-rates, delivering the H2 in lower to higher amounts as you desire. Low delivers the H2 at about 100 parts per liter of air flow; Medium is about 200; and High goes up to about 270-300.
- The way H2-inhalers work is the cannula fits around your head and two probes fit into the nostrils loosely. When you breathe in through your nose the hydrogen being emitted from the cannula mixes in with the air you are breathing. The fact that hydrogen is so small and permeable means that it can pass through your body and begin to fight free radicals the instant you breathe it. Don't worry about extra hydrogen escaping from the cannula. It will simply act as an antioxidant to your skin, ears, eyes and/or moisturize the air around you. Use it in a well-ventilated room.
- The way you use the MEA-H2 as a hydrogen water maker is to put a cannula hose directly into a cup or bottle of water (I prefer using filtered water). After about 2-4 minutes on high you will have fully saturated hydrogen water in your cup. It may take a tiny bit longer for a full bottle to saturate. Once the water is saturated with hydrogen, it is as stable as any other method of creating H2-water. Hydrogen will eventually reduce in concentration over time, but no faster or slower than the hydrogen in ionized water or in hydrogen water created by the Lourdes HS-72, High-Rich, or any other hydrogen water maker..
Note: While the machine is operating, the membrane generates healthy hydrogen gas from the water and diverts it into a small receptacle. Pure H2 is then pumped into the breathing line (cannula) when you hook it up. The onboard computer system keeps hydrogen levels safe and flowing correctly. Set the timer to tell it when to shut off and relax. The operation of the MEA-H2 is user-friendly.
Caution: Spilling water out of the water bin inside the machine can cause internal damage to the MEA-H2. If you think you accidentally did this, leave the machine unplugged for as long as you think needed for the spilled water to evaporate. Also, it is not recommended to move the machine around a lot once its tank is full of water. There are handles on either side of the MEA-H2 housing that should be used to transport the machine. Try to keep it fairly level if the bin is full of water. DO NOT TURN THE MACHINE ON ITS SIDE WHEN THE BIN CONTAINS WATER.
Making Hydrogen Water With the MEA-H2 High Efficiency Hydrogen Generator
The MEA High Efficiency H2 Generator is a great way to make hydrogen-rich therapeutic water for drinking and hydrogen gas for breathing. Whether you drink hydrogen water or inhale it, the hydrogen gas is so tiny it will travel around to most places in your body. It is slightly different to inhale hydrogen gas vs drink hydrogen water, but with the MEA-H2 hydrogen machine you can have both. The various methods of obtaining Hydrogen compliment each other, and I personally consider them to be tools for staying young-looking and healthy up into my old age.
Caution: Don't Use the Wrong Water and Don't Allow the Membrane to Dry Out.
With hydrogen machines the kind of water has to be zero TDS. That is why you need to use either distilled water, or even preferably double-distilled water or deionized water.
The other thing to watch out for is the membrane that produces the hydrogen can dry out if the machine is stored without using it for several months. This is one of the main reasons why we do not stock these machines and make sure that we order newly-made hydrogen machines "on-demand" for our customers. We apologize for the 3-week wait, but I assure you it is worth it. Note: If you ever do allow this Hydrogen machine to dry out, simply follow the instructions, below.
Moistening Up a Dried-Out Membrane
Periodic Cleaning Instructions
If the flow-rate reduces to your inhaler, the most likely cause is that dissolved solids in the water have come in contact with the electrodes. It is better to use double-distilled instead of regular distilled water in the machine if you want to extend the time between cleanings. The manufacturer protocols for cleaning the electrodes are as follows:
Step 1: Drain water
Step 2: Prepare 75ML medical alcohol, mix with 1500ml distilled water, then pour into container to soak 2 mins
Step 3: Work on low mode 5 mins, then work on medium mode 1 min.
Step 4: Check if the h2 flow rises up. Once it rises up to normal flow, please change back to distilled water in the machine. If h2 flow does not rise up,repeat step 3 one or two more times.
Molecular Hydrogen's Spectacular Benefits:
Read more about the benefits of Molecular Hydrogen; If you click the link, you can read a full explanation of the benefits of molecular hydrogen. On the same page I also included links to a many of the most recent medical research articles as well (for those who like to do their homework).
Note: The MEA membrane has been tested and is rated for 5,000 hours of pure H2 production.
- That's 5,000 days (about 14 years) if you use it for an hour per day!
- Clinics, using the MEA-H2 8 to10 hours per day would need to have the MEM membrane replaced after about 2 years.
Warranty Information
1 Year Manufacturer Warranty


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Every year on June 1, the International Day of the Child, Holt sponsors celebrate the children they support around the world by partnering with us to throw a big birthday bash!
In Cambodia, 365 children enjoyed balloon games, friendship-building activities and dancing and singing. They received special treats, and basic necessities like soap, toothpaste and toothbrushes.
In Thailand, 80 primary school students went on a field trip to the Royal Thai Armed Forces Headquarters! "HSF is very thankful for the kind sponsor donation," says Jintana Nontapouraya, director of Holt Sahathai Foundation (HSF). "These special gifts have made it possible for HSF to help widen the world for the students."
In India, children ages 2-12 performed songs and dances, and received special prizes, coloring books, crayons and pencils. "They were able to celebrate this event with such joy," writes our partner in Bangalore, Vathsalya Charitable Trust.
In the Philippines, 381 children from six daycare centers sang and danced and ate peach mango pies! "They were all excited and happy with the gifts," staff reports. "The parents expressed their gratitude to our local partner, Kaisahang Buhay Foundation (KBF), and Holt International sponsors for helping with this annual exciting activity."
In, Uganda, 150 sponsored children performed dances and songs, ate a three-tiered purple-frosted birthday cake and had soda pop and treats.


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Tuition fees for all levels, except Year 12, will be invoiced in four equal instalments. These instalments invoices will be issued prior to the commencement of Terms 1, 2, 3 and 4.
Year 12 tuition fees will be invoiced in three equal instalments at the commencement of Terms 1, 2 and 3.
Any applicable extras will be charged with each instalment.
Fees are due and payable on the first day of each term.
Parents opting for the Direct Debit option will be charged in 10 equal instalments from February to November.
Please refer to the Fee Schedule for more information (for Australian Citizens or students with permanent residence status entitled to Government grants).
Sibling discounts are applied to students from oldest to youngest whilst more than one child is in attendance at the College as follows:
If you have a query about our fees, please contact the Finance Office via email email@example.com or call 03 9781 9000.


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Office Relocations and Defits
Relieving your Office Relocation Headache
Relocating commercial premises can prove to be a headache and can get your blood pressure up, but this is where you can leave it to the Office Doctor to provide the best solution for you. They are able to advise on what can help make the move successful, prompt and stress-free.
All you and your staff need to do is sit back, relax and leave it to the System Furniture Installation Experts. This includes the delivery and unpacking of the System Furniture, the removal of old items and most importantly the correct installation of the System Furniture.
Office Relocations
No business or organisation wants to lose unnecessary downtime from an inefficient moving process. Loss of productivity can lead to a fall in profits and a loss of reputation if clients or customers are not able to have their projects completed or products received on time.
Any relocation needs to be carefully and accurately planned and the right help obtained. This is what businesses and organisations can expect when they choose The Office Doctor to assist with their commercial premises relocation:
A well-executed plan, professionalism and attention to detail right down to nails and screws.
The Office Doctor love nothing more than the challenge of a relocation, whether it's just a few work stations or whether it also includes shelving, compactus units, filing cabinets and more.
This involves The Office Doctor coordinating trucks, furniture and its moving team. When the relocation is complete, The Office Doctor is able to dispose of packaging and any system furniture that may no longer be required.
Office Defits
Sometimes a client may be moving to a new commercial premises that is a new fit out in its entirety and what is required is a Defit of the old commercial office. A Defit is where System Furniture needs to be pulled apart and taken offsite, either to be sold or if no longer able to be used then appropriately got rid of. A commitment to waste management and recycling are an integral part of the Defits that the Office Doctor do.
The Office Doctor is able to carefully and professionally manage Defit projects and can offer their advice as to how this could be best done. From the initial Defit Plan through to implementing the plan and ensuring the building is ready to be handed back for lease or sale purposes, your business or organisation can leave this to the team at The Office Doctor.
First Class Solution for Office Relocations and Defits
Trustworthiness, reliability, the application of sustainability principles and safety measures, cost-effective pricing and communication at each stage of the process make choosing The Office Doctor for your Office Relocation or Office Defit a first class solution for your business or organisation.
Installing commercial furniture in South Australia & Northern Territory
The Office Doctor are a professional and reliable Installers of system furniture servicing Australia wide.


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Are you interested in getting the word out about your business during your next vacation or work-related trip? Don't miss out on opportunities to showcase your work!
You never know when you'll meet your next customer or business partner while you're at the airport or driving to a new destination. There are ways to draw attention to your brand even while you're on the road.
Here are three methods of making an impression during your travels.
1. Paper media
How many times a week do you get stuck wishing you had a business card to give to someone? Don't make this mistake ever again!
Before you leave on a business trip or vacation, make sure you pack a box of business cards and relevant promotional flyers if you have them. Double-check the accuracy of your contact information, especially if it may have changed recently.
Business cards and flyers allow you to skip the awkwardness of scribbling your contact information on a paper napkin, the next time you want to share business information.
2. Online presence
Don't neglect to tell people about your digital presence. If your company has an online portfolio, make sure that folks you talk to learn about it.
Directing someone to bookmark your mobile website can be a fine stand-in for business cards, if you're all out. Make sure that you polish your online portfolio before leaving for vacation, so new contacts can see the your products and services showcased to the best advantage.
3. Vehicle signage
If you're going to be driving out of town, then you can reach a considerable audience by consulting a vehicle wrap company in Phoenix. Their custom vehicle wraps allow you to display high-quality logos, text, and graphics on your car, which will guarantee an enormous amount of easy exposure.
You'll be able to reach all-new audiences while on the road and when you park at various locations. This is a passive marketing opportunity you can't afford to pass up. Work with a vehicle wrap design specialist to make sure your business is represented effectively.
Before you get ready to leave for your next trip, brainstorm ways to transform your travels into a unique marketing opportunity for your company. You'll have a chance to break away from your local demographics and gain exposure with new audiences.
Take advantage of this opportunity by preparing paper promotional materials, revamping your online portfolio, and displaying your logo on your vehicles with pride.


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A great big welcome back to Spring from Team LED! We all know that the warmer weather brings fabulous design trends for the season, but it also brings the ever dreaded Spring Cleaning tasks as well. Well fret not, because we are here to give you some trendy design ideas to spice up your home, as well as some easy ways to freshen up your Spring Cleaning routine.
A Gift Guide For The Pisces In Your Life
Team LED is excited to offer a few home décor birthday gift ideas for the special Pisces friends in your life (February 19-March 20). Pisces are so wonderfully unique, so why not help them make their spaces show that off!
Birthstone Hues + Home Décor
We often incorporate our birthstones in our jewelry, but how about in our home décor? HGTV recently published an article about using the hues of your birthstone to decorate your home and we were so inspired by it! We gathered a few ideas and images for each month of the year- see if you can find yours!
New Year, New Home Resolutions
With every new year comes new resolutions- and let's face it, your home is probably one of them. There's always something that needs to be done around the house. We've come up with a few simple tricks about how you can spruce up your home for 2018.
LED's 2017 Yearbook
Wow. What a year! We've been blessed with great clients, non-stop inspiration and so much to look forward to in 2018. But first, some of Team LED's favorites of 2017.
Some of our favorite design trends of 2017:
Your Go-To Colors for 2018
Spoiler alert! Pantone Color Institute revealed the colors that we can expect to find throughout design and fashion trends for 2018 and we can't get enough of the intensity we're seeing! We had some fun with Greenery from 2017, but Pantone has us thrilled with their announcement.
Why You Should Hire A Designer
A designer is there to take your budget, and work within it. They are constantly planning and organizing around this budget, and ensuring that they allocate portions to the correct items needed in your new design.
International Wallpaper Week
Trend alert! Next year we are saying goodbye to the geometric designs and saying hello to flower power on our walls.
Graham & Brown, the wallpaper experts, announced this newest trend just in time to start the celebration of International Wallpaper Week October 2nd – 8th. It is a time to celebrate beautiful wallpaper and dressing up your walls like never before.
Summerlin Kitchen Remodel
Our lovely client came to us looking for space that would welcome both her kids and grandkids in for meals and time together. Her hope was to have a clean, new look that would appeal to everyone, whilst still making it feel cozy for all of them to cook and eat together in.


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It may seem pretty unnecessary to consider which guitar strap you'll be using before you play a gig or start learning guitar; however, the right one can make a massive difference to your playing.
Some guitars, especially Les Paul and Gretsch models, are pretty heavy. Therefore a strong, durable support will make your musical life much more comfortable.
In this article, we look at the best products for both electric and acoustic guitar and give you a considered opinion on which are worth considering.
At a Glance – Our Choice of the Best Guitar Straps on the Market
- Mr. Power With 3 Pick Holders
- Fender Deluxe, 2″ Tweed
- Planet Waves Planet Lock
- Fender Artisan
- DiMarzio Custom Italian
- Mono Betty
- Levy's Leathers MSS2-4-BLK
- Martin Premium Rolled Leather
- Gibson 'The Fatboy'
Note: Clicking the above links will take you to further information, current prices, and customer reviews on Amazon.
Here's what we cover.
Table of Contents
- Types of Guitar Strap
- Buyer's Guide – Key Considerations
- Product Round-Up & Reviews – Best Guitar Strap
- So, Which Should I Choose?
Types of Guitar Strap
Acoustic vs. Electric
Certain models generally work better with specific instruments. For example, if you're playing an electric guitar, you'll usually need to attach it via two strap buttons on the body. Just be careful, some electric guitars come with built-in clips, so you may need to purchase a model that contains the correct counterparts.
If you're an acoustic guitarist, your instrument will only have one attachment button at the far end of the body. So, you'll need to secure the other side of the strap to the headstock with a string. If you're a bassist, you're going to need something longer, sturdier, and probably more expensive, that can support the instrument's large size and extra weight.
Buyer's Guide – Key Considerations
The average guitar strap features an adjustable length of 40"-60", which is a decent enough range to suit most builds of people. However, if you're a bassist, or like your guitar hanging low like Krist Novoselic from Nirvana, go for something that can reach a length of 70″ or more.
The width of an average guitar strap usually falls between 2″ to 4″. With 2" being very thin and 4" being on the wide side. Thicker ones are generally more supportive and can hold larger instruments, but saying that, if you're a smaller build thinner ones can be more comfortable and not dig into your neck as much.
Locking Mechanism
Most straps come with cut out leather hoops that you can attach to both ends of the instrument – the problem is that the guitar isn't completely secure, and tends to slip off while you're playing. This is not ideal, but luckily there is another option – Straplocks! These metal locking devices attach to your instrument and are designed not to slip off – bear in mind that these are usually a bit pricier than standard products, and you'll have to get the correct mounts added to your guitar to use one.
The material the strap has been fashioned from is by far the most important aspect you should consider before you make a purchase. The most common materials used are nylon, cotton, leather, neoprene, and memory foam. Nylon or cotton models are used on budget items, while leather, neoprene, and memory foam are expensive but stronger and more comfortable.
If you're going to be playing a heavy, solid-bodied instrument like a Gibson or a P Bass, you'll need something that can support it properly. Your best option would, therefore, be spending a bit more cash on a sturdy leather or neoprene one, with the correct length. If you're playing a lightweight guitar, you can probably get away with using a thinner variety, made from nylon or cotton.
Product Round-Up & Reviews – Best Guitar Strap
Mr. Power's (With 3 Pick Holders)
If you're looking for something cheap and cheerful, this number from Mr. Power is by far the most affordable product we talk about today, but what do you get for the money?
Well, its made from nylon and can reduce down to 36.6" or extend out to 65", which is more than enough to fit an adult. It's width, however, is smaller than usual, measuring just 1.8", so I'd say it's more suitable for children.
If you play with a pick, you'll like the three pick holder slots that run along the strap's body. This is handy and will save you time scrambling around the floor, trying to find a plectrum when you accidentally drop one. In terms of aesthetic, it's pretty neutral being black and grey, so it will blend in well with any clothing you'll be wearing.
Overall, it's an excellent option for kids but is probably going to be too small in width for an adult musician. Additionally, the nylon material it's made out of is not going to hold a more substantial instrument or withstand too much use.
- Price – One of the most affordable products out there, so you get a pretty decent quality product for the money
- Pick Holders – Features three handy pick holders, so if you drop one you can quickly grab another
- Thin – The nylon used is thinner than a car's seat belt, and it's edges cut into your skin if you're playing for a fair amount of time.
- Low Quality – The material used here will not stand the test of time, but you get what you pay for.
Fender Deluxe, 2″ Tweed
At only a fraction more in price, this Fender Deluxe has a classy 50's tweed and suede aesthetic which will suit any acoustic, rockabilly or blues guitarist out there. Another beneficial aspect here is that its 2" wide and can be adjusted to lengths between 47" and 56" – so is going to fit the average adult guitarist easily enough.
Additionally, its leather build is designed to be pretty comfortable on your shoulder, but bear in mind, cheap plastic vinyl dominates this strap, so it may not be as strong as some of the full leather options out there.
Overall, the Fender Deluxe will suit anyone looking for a cool retro aesthetic at a reasonable price. But if you're looking for premium durability, then perhaps you should consider something a little sturdier.
- Looks Great – The Fender Deluxe has a lovely tweed retro aesthetic, so will suit you if you play in a blues band.
- Price – Pretty cheap considering you get real cowhide leather included in the build.
- Plastic dominated – Most of the material is plastic vinyl, which is nowhere near as durable.
- Not very versatile – There are only three size options to choose from, so you may find the options don't quite match your height requirements.
Planet Waves Planet Lock
The best thing about this device is its Planet Lock system. This is specially designed to lock the strap into a variety of guitars so that you don't need to change the counterpart buttons. The system works by securing into your guitar's existing end buttons until you release the device's side pin. The locking device itself is also non-scratch so that it won't damage your instrument.
It's made from soft black leather and has a suede lining for extra comfort. The length can also be adjusted from 35″ to 59.5″ to suit most adult players, and the overall neutral aesthetic here means it'll satisfy pretty much any band with ease too.
Overall, this model suits players looking for something durable, within a lower price range. For the cost, the quality of leather you get here is pretty decent, but of course, not quite as comfortable and sturdy as some of the more expensive options out there.
- Quality Material – The leather used here is pretty decent and provides a good amount of support for your guitar.
- Versatile – Height is fully adjustable to the exact measurement you need, so it should always be a comfortable playing height.
- Lacks Padding – You don't get any extras here, so the leather and suede don't provide much in the way of comfort, which you may need if your instrument's heavy.
- Potentially Damaging – The locking mechanism can eventually lead to the screw from the guitar's body becoming dislodged and falling apart while in use – this isn't ideal.
Fender Artisan
The best aspect of this product from Fender is the heavy thread stitching used to avoid splitting, plus three layers of hand-selected leather for durability. The bottom layer consists of aniline leather for extra grip, and the top layer is finished with wax and oil, for a polished finish.
You can also adjust the length to one of three different settings between 40" and 55", which should meet the requirements of a small to average-sized adult. The strap itself has a width of 2.5" inches, which, combined with the suede middle layer, enables a pretty comfortable playing stance.
Overall, Fender's Artisan design is best suited to players with a mid-range budget, looking for something tough that won't let them down. For the price, the quality is pretty good value; however, it may not be long enough for taller players or bassists.
- High Quality – The leather used here is very tough but still pliable enough to fold up into your gig bag for portability
- 1 Year Warranty – Pretty good sign that Fender are sure the product won't fall to bits any time soon
- Not so Versatile – Some may find the pre-set length settings either too short or too long, which is kind of annoying and may affect playability
- Plain – If you're after something with a bit more style, the Fender Artisan is probably not going to be wild enough for you
DiMarzio Custom Italian
The elegant option from DiMarzio is fairly similar to the Fender model we mentioned previously; however, it's a tad more expensive. So, for the extra money, what do you get?
The best thing about this model has to be its classy Italian leather material. Not only does it look great and fit any style of guitar, but it's also built to last. The leather itself is sturdy and durable, yet soft and comfortable enough to wear. It also provides enough flexibility to be conveniently packed away with your other equipment and transported to gigs.
However, in comparison to the Fender one, DiMarzio's design is smaller in width, measuring in at 1.6 inches wide, making it more suitable for smaller players. The buckle adjustment system also only has six settings to choose from, all of which are pretty close together. Some taller or shorter guitarists may, therefore, find the length range a little inadequate.
Overall, I'd say DiMarzio's design is excellent for smaller guitarists, with lighter instruments due to the small width of the supporting leather. Saying that it's sleek, black style will sort any genre of music and will give you a bit of edge during a performance.
- Well Made – High-quality cowhide, so it'll likely last you a lifetime and withstand plenty of use.
- Lovely aesthetic – Looks very classy, with a cool silver buckle.
- Small – has little width, so it's unlikely going to distribute the weight of larger instruments evenly across your shoulder.
- Not so versatile – The pre-set length options here are not that variable, and you may find they don't wholly work for your build.
Mono Betty
Mono's Betty is selling at a very similar price to Fender's Artisan model we mentioned earlier but offers a completely different design for the money.
Thanks to the use of military-grade material here, your purchase comes with a whopping 3-year warranty, which is two years more than Fender's offer. With this in mind, you can be pretty confident the manufacturer's design will stand the test of time.
This is all excellent news, but the best aspect of Mono's Betty has to be its memory foam core. It's designed to increase circulation and to reduce fatigue, which is great if you're usually playing long sets. Its neoprene underbelly is also lightweight and reduces friction, so your shoulder won't be shredded up after use.
There's even a handy hideaway pickpocket included, so you can quickly access another if you accidentally drop one while playing. Every guitarist knows this happens more than you think!
Mono's Betty will suit anyone that needs to play for long periods standing up. For the very reasonable price, you get some pretty high-quality, yet comfortable materials here.
- Comfortable – Memory foam core provides an extra cushion for your shoulder and helps to retain the most functional playing position.
- Price – The item is incredibly affordable, considering you get military-grade materials.
- Plain Looking – Mono has chosen to go for function rather than looks, which isn't always a bad thing. It just looks rather dull, so those of you wanting some style may be left feeling slightly underwhelmed.
- Shabby stitching – Yes, most of the materials used in Betty are great, but disappointingly the stitching isn't and tends to come undone in places straight after use.
Levy's Leathers MSS2-4-BLK (For Bass Guitar)
For all you bassists out there, Levy's MSS2 is something you should consider if you need durability and comfort while you play.
For a similar price to Momo's Betty, you get a lot more material here. The width of the MSS2 is 4 ½", with a length that's adjustable between 36" to 52" to suit most builds of guitarist. The best aspect of the MSS2 has to be its comfortable foam padding and quality leather covering. The padding helps support the extra weight of your bass.
It also has a pretty good variety of length settings to choose from, making it versatile enough for both short and tall players. Saying that, if you are incredibly tall, bordering on a giant, there's even an option to purchase an extra-long version, to add 12" to the length!
Overall, the MSS2 suits bassists looking for a versatile, robust and comfortable to wear that will last for years. For such a reasonable price, you really can't get much higher quality.
- Versatile – There is plenty of choice when it comes to length here, so no matter whether your tall or short, it will suit your playing stance.
- Comfortable – The padded inner layer is excellent for your joints, and the strap's large width spreads the instruments load evenly across your shoulder.
- Large – The 4 ½" width size may be slightly too big for folks with a petite build, so if that's you, perhaps a smaller version would be a better option
- Hard to attach – Because the leather here is so thick and tough, it's pretty hard to get the holes around the connection points
Martin Premium Rolled Leather
Finally, we move on to discuss the best premium options out there, starting with the most expensive option in our round-up, the Martin Premium Rolled Leather strap.
The best aspect has to be its heavy-duty leather and vintage aesthetic. The leather itself is 3″ inches wide and a rustic brown color. So, it's a comfortable fit for most body builds and will look cool partnered with an acoustic or classic rock guitar like a Les Paul (an original or copy).
The overall quality is also impressive. Its inside layer is grained and very supple for comfort and grip, whereas it's exterior is smooth but robust, making it strong enough to hold heavier instruments.
Due to it's classy, tan, brown leather, Martin's design is an excellent option for acoustic players and will add style to your look. Saying that it's tough enough to hold electric guitars too if that's what you play.
- Stylish – Looks pretty vintage and will complement an acoustic guitar or old electric nicely
- Quality Leather – Martin has used a durable yet soft cowhide in their design, so it will be comfortable and last a lifetime.
- Not flexible – So thick it might be a pain trying to curl it up and fit it into your gig bag.
- Price – On the more expensive side of things, especially compared to the Fender on our list.
Gibson 'The Fatboy'
Gibson's Fatboy is sold at a slightly lower price than Martin above, but still has some high-quality features to offer us.
The best thing about the Fatboy is that it's very well made. It's super wide and thick with extra padding and has a sturdy leather exterior. This is a beast built for ultimate comfort while playing the heaviest of instruments.
Another great thing here is that its highly adjustable, so if you're relatively short or very tall, you won't be restricted when you play. The attachment holes are also pliable and flexible enough to allow for a secure attachment to the buttons on the guitar. Aesthetically, the Fatboy features a professional-looking, stylish black design that will ramp up your image no matter what style of music you play.
Out of everything we've looked at so far, its the most heavy-duty of the bunch, and best suited to musicians needing support for big, weighty instruments.
- Extra durable – The sturdiest item we have mentioned and will easily hold a bass or a heavy guitar, without breaking a sweat
- Versatile – The Fatboy's length can be fine-tuned to meet the perfect measurement depending on your height
- Width – Although a wide build is excellent if you're a larger person, if you're petite, the edge can dig into your neck a little. It's worth trying one on for size before buying if you possibly can
- Large button holes – Easy to attach your guitar, they are slightly loose, so you may need to purchase some extra locks. But considering the price, should you have to?
So, Which Should I Choose?
If you play bass or a weighty guitar, then you can't go wrong with the Gibson Fatboy or Levy's MSS2, these two are by far the most robust models we've found. On the other hand, if you're into acoustics, then either the Fender Deluxe or Martin's design will add some style to your image.
If you'd like some extra security while playing, or have an instrument that slips regularly, Planet Wave's Locking Strap is your best friend. Nothing's going to escape its grasp!
But if comfort is what you're after, then Mono's Betty will not disappoint. This little number comes with a memory foam core for the ultimate good fit.
Finally, f you're after a cool looking leather strap on a budget, then DiMarzio's Italian Leather model or Fender's Artisan would be a perfect choice.


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Geologist and Programmer. Data Scientist and Machine Learning enthusiastic. Areas: Geology - Remote Sensing - GIS
Author and writer: GeologyAndPython.com
I have mastered, in the last three years, the main Python packages related to data analysis, machine learning and geospatial data manipulation. I write about it in Geology and Python (geologyandpython.com)
Use and abuse of GIS in Python without limits. Some of the python packages for GIS I have mastered are Shapely, rasterio, Fiona and geopandas. They are responsible for reading, writing and manipulating rasters and vectors in Python.


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Chronicle of the Murdered House by Lucio Cardoso [Interview]
The pub date for Chronicle of the Murdered House by Lúcio Cardoso, which is translated from the Portuguese by Margaret Jull Costa and Robin Patterson, with a biographical note from Ben Moser officially came out on Tuesday, December 13th. To celebrate the release of this Brazilian masterpiece, we'll be running a series of pieces over the rest of this week, including some early reviews, an excerpt, a press release, and part of Ben Moser's piece.
Ploughshares was kind enough to interview both Margaret Jull Costa and Robin Patterson about the process of translating this book. You can read the whole interview here after you check out a couple bits from it below.
Chronicle is available at better bookstores everywhere, or through our website. If you order before the end of 2016, use the code BOOKSEASON at checkout to receive 40% off your total order.
Graham Oliver: Given Cardoso's fame in Brazil, his extensive ouevre, and his romantic relationship and friendship with Clarice Lispector (who in turn has an enduring and even growing popularity in the US), why do you think this is the first book of Cardoso's to be translated?
Margaret Jull Costa: Ben Moser, who wrote the introduction and has written a biography of Clarice Lispector, recommended the book to Chad Post at Open Letter, who was sufficiently intrigued to commission a translation.
Robin Patterson: I think it was both a natural choice, in that Chronicle of the Murdered House is certainly Cardoso's best-known work, and also a bold one, in that it is not the most accessible of books. So it is both an obvious starting point, and a difficult one. Perhaps that is why it has taken to so long to bring to readers in English.
GO: Can you talk some about how you approach translating a deceased writer versus having the author available for questions or guidance? Do you rely on the author's other works as points of reference??
MJC: I'm not sure it makes any difference, except, as you say, the author is not available to answer queries. The edition we used proved very useful, because it gave all the variants from earlier drafts, and the clue to what the author might have meant was often to be found there.
RP: Yes, looking at earlier drafts was useful, but at times not so much to clarify meaning, as to indicate where we simply needed to stop trying to clarify (even to ourselves!) and simply trust the author. Although it might be more time-consuming, in some ways not having the author around gives you a clearer concept of the text as a thing in itself—ultimately, that is where you have to find the answers.
GO: The story is told using the voices of multiple characters. In English, I could easily see differences in style between them, but I'm curious if there were any differences in the original that you found harder to bring over during translation? Or maybe you differentiated them in other ways?
MJC: The differences are clear in the style of each of the characters, the very melodramatic style of André, for example, and the rather pedantic style of the pharmacist. The Portuguese tells you what tone and register to use in English, but I must admit that I found André the most difficult, simply because his language and the way he expresses his feelings are so florid and over-the-top. I had to resist the temptation to tone him down a bit.
RP: Yes, as well as the linguistic indications in the Portuguese, I think the characters themselves helped to set their own tone. We get to know them so well over the course of the book that you begin to know how they would speak, or formulate their thoughts. The fact that nearly all the characters take their turn as narrator at some point helps with that—you really do get inside their minds, even if at times that can be quite an unsettling process.
Go read the rest of the interview at Ploughshares and come back tomorrow for a bit of Ben Moser's introduction to the novel.


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Mirza Aur Shamim Ara TV One Drama Starring Faisal Kazi, Erum Akhtar, Rija, Khwaja Akmal
Directed By: BQ
Their hilarious barbs and comic situations will keep you giggling post Iftar. As sharp-tongued Shamim Ara keeps the poetry spouting Mirza in check but has no control over son Qutub, who dares to flirt with a policeman�s daughter next door.
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Rating: ★★★★★ 0 Reviews


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ASD offers complete web application development and web integration services. We offer a full range of web development and web integration solutions that employ powerful tools such as XML, .Net, ASP and J2EE. We recognize that each company has unique business requirements that drive their adoption and use of Internet technology. As a result, we work closely with our clients to develop innovative web development and web integration solutions that meet their individual needs.
Our team is sensitive to the total cost of ownership and to the time to deployment required by our clients. We work within our client's existing asset base of applications to further leverage value from these resources, develop new applications, and integrate them fully within our client's existing framework. This allows us to provide a better integrated solution and allows our client's to deploy the solution more quickly.
We offer B2B and B2C web development and web integration services in the following areas:
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Secure solutions, including secure access and data transfer with technologies such as SSL and digital signatures ASD's team can provide cost-effective and rapidly deployable web development and web integration solutions that allow your company to leverage the communication potential of the Internet.


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Ways of Obtaining the Right Agency for Sports Betting Procedures
Sports betting is a significant practice of examining the games and betting on the ones which are going to win. There exists a wide range of people who take part in the betting process to make some money when their teams win the games. The people should be equipped with the right skills for effective betting. The people are however faced by the challenge of getting the best services for sports betting algorithms. The article herein explain the ways of getting the right service for sports betting.
The referrals should be asked different questions to assist in finding the right agency which offers the best training for effective betting and winning money. The number of experienced references is high and thus allow the people to determine the best service which assists in betting and winning some money. The relatives and friends share their experience in betting and therefore provide details about the best service for sports betting algorithms. The people should communicate with the people who are experienced in betting on assisting in access the right sports betting service which provides the best betting algorithms. The inquiries from friends and relatives assist in determining the reputation of the company for sports betting algorithms.
Secondly, the people are encouraged to research on the best agency for sports betting service. The research activities are beneficial since they enable the people to identify the agency with reliable algorithms for betting. Research assist in determining the operation time of the agency for sports betting.
It is wise for the people to depend on the recommendations on the web since they enable the people to locate the best betting service which offers proper training. The internet has got many reviews and opinions about the best services for betting algorithms. Most of the web reviews are offered by the individuals who bet in an often manner and thus knows the best setting algorithms to use. These online reviews enable the people to make the right decision for choosing the best service for sports betting procedures.
The individuals should put in mind the years of operation of the company to assist in obtaining the best agency which is reliable. The best companies has served for a long time in providing the best procedures for successful analysis and betting. The people should talk to the references of the service to determine its expertise level. The experienced sports betting service has developed many algorithms which allow the people to win their sports bets.
Games Tips for The Average Joe


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|"William A. Rowe, Jr." <wr...@rowe-clan.net>
|Re: [REQUEST] IP Clearance For Jakarta Commons Composite Pool
|Tue, 07 Mar 2006 21:18:00 GMT
Noel J. Bergman wrote: > Robert, > > >>i've prepared the paperwork to clear a donation of code to Jakarta. i >>don't have incubator site karma so i've attached the patch to this JIRA: >>https://issues.apache.org:443/jira/browse/INCUBATOR-15. > > The stuff must be filed properly in source control, not attached to issue > trackers. The PMC Chair should have karma, and it isn't hard to get if one > is an ASF Member, either. :-) AIUI only the ASF secretary has the authority to modify code grants, because they are only valid when received at the ASF central office. Bill --------------------------------------------------------------------- To unsubscribe, e-mail: email@example.com For additional commands, e-mail: email@example.com
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Sunday Nonsense
Worth A Thought!
If we manage to convince the Chinese that Jihadists' testicles are aphrodisiacs, within ten years they'll have disappeared…
My girlfriend has just had a sea shell tattooed on her inner thigh. It's that realistic. If you place your ear right up to it, you can smell the ocean.
My Girlfriend
My girlfriend is having a baby. Everyone is predicting what it is going to be.
My Nan says, "She is carrying it high so it is going to be a girl."
My other Nan says, "It is going to be a boy."
My Mum says, "It is going to be about eight pounds."
My mate Leroy says, "It is going to be black."
Never Assume
A small tourist hotel was all a buzz about an afternoon wedding where the groom was 95 and the bride was 23.
The groom looked pretty feeble and the feeling was that the wedding night might kill him, because his bride was a healthy, vivacious young woman.
But lo and behold, the next morning, the bride came down the main staircase slowly, step by step, hanging onto the banister for dear life.
She finally managed to get to the counter of the little shop in the hotel.
The clerk looked really concerned, "Whatever happened to you, honey? You look like you've been wrestling an alligator!"
The bride groaned, hung on to the counter and managed to speak, "Ohhh God! He told me he'd been saving up for 75 years…I thought he meant his money!!"
You Are Never Too Old
A ninety year old man lived in a rest home and got a weekend pass. He stopped in his favourite bar and sat at the end and ordered a drink. He noticed a seventy year old woman at the other end of the bar and he told the bartender to buy the lovely young lady a drink. As evening progressed, the old man joined the lady and they went to her apartment, where they got it on. Four days later, the old man noticed that he was developing a drip, and he headed for the rest home doctor. After careful examination the doctor asked the old man if he had engaged in sex recently. The old man said, "Sure!" The doctor asked if he could remember who the woman was and where she lived. "Sure, why?" "Well you'd better get over there, you're about to cum!"
Pope Joke
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane, when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight. "This is exciting," thinks the gentleman. "Perhaps I'll be able to see him in person." Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope begins a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, "Excuse me, but do you know a four letter word referring to a woman that ends in 'unt?'"
Only one word leaps to mind. "My goodness," thinks the gentleman, "I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word."
The gentleman thinks for quite a while, and then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, "I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'" "Of course," says the Pope. "Do you have an eraser?"
Eight-year-old Mohammad entered his classroom on the first day of school. "What's your name?", asked the teacher. "Mohammad," he replied. "You're in Ireland now," replied the teacher, "So from now on you will be known as Mike. Mohammad returned home after school. "How was your day, Mohammad?", his mother asked. "My name is not Mohammad. I'm in Ireland and now my name is Mike". His mother replied, "Are you ashamed of your name? Are you trying to dishonor your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you!" And she beat him. Then she called his father, who beat him again. The next day Mohammad returned to school. The teacher saw all of his bruises. "What happened to you, Mike?", she asked. "Well shortly after becoming an Irishman, I was attacked by two bloody Arabs."