text:
soon after birth, conditions of isolations tend to activate crying, clinging, and following
infants experience of fright and fear. when frightened, infants and young children look to their mother for security and if they fail to find her are doubly upset: both 1. comfort and 2. security are missing
2. people insecurely attached
know that if mom leaves, she'll probably be back, doesn't freak out
2. anxious/ambivalent: anxiety and uncertainty are obvious, becomes extremely distressed when mom leaves, and when the mom comes back, still anxious bc they don't trust their mom
3: disorganized: a type of attachment that is marked by the child's inconsistent reactions to mom's leaving and return
Child and caregiver enter into a playroom. After one minute, a person unknown to the infant enters the room and slowly tries to make acquaintance.
The caregiver leaves the child with the stranger for three minutes; and then returns.
The caregiver leaves for a second time, leaving the child alone for three minutes.
The stranger who enters then tries to comfort the infant. Lastly, the caregiver returns, and is instructed to pick the child up.
thus increasing….
women who perceived more effective social support from their partners in midpregnancy had lower anxiety and reported less fearful and distressed infant behavior
b) secure, avoidant, and ambivalent/anxious attached people experienced love differently
c) attachment style impacts "mental modes" (view on love)
less likely to blame partner
less likely to get back into the relationship
readiness to start dating again
less likely to blame partner
less likely to get back into the relationship
readiness to start dating again
breakup less than amicable
welcomed opportunity to get back into relationship, but indicated that the ex partner was more to blame for the breakup
less likely to be ready to start dating other people
Average faces are not the most attractive; they are just more attractive than the individual faces that are averaged in the composite.
-Interact with humans, but see's them as all the same.
-Attachments become more familiar/infamiliar, but still may not protest upon seperation.
-Specific Attachment starts to begin , ie parents and what not.
– Understand peoples emotions/ people come/go/return.
-Seperation anxiety will decrease.
-Love and Commitment
-How to keep the spark alive
-internal working models, relational schemas
-set of beliefs, attitudes and expectations regarding:
*Self (worthy of love/support or not?)
*Others (available/supportive or not?)
*Relationships in general (rewarding or not?)
-attachment system activated under stress
-childhood experiences create "internal working models of self and other"–> influence personality development and social behavior
-anxious-ambivalent babies (insecure attachment)
-avoidant babies
-greater symmetry in adult relationships (2-way street/caregiving is mutual)
-"felt security" without physical contact
1. Secure: low anxiety, low avoidance. positive model of self, positive model of others. comfortable with intimacy/trusting, give benefit of the doubt
2. Preoccupied: high anxiety, low avoidance. negative model of self, positive model of others. preoccupied with relationships, overly seeks intimacy, jealousy, clingy
3. Dismissing: low anxiety, high avoidance. positive model of self, negative model of others. not trusting, seeks independence and distance, casual sex, lacking closeness
4. Fearful: high anxiety, high avoidance. negative model of self, negative model of others. preoccupied with relationship, not trusting, fearful of and avoid intimacy
-controlling, intrusive caregiving
-sexual activity to avoid rejection, feel loved
-perceiving partner as inattentive/reluctant to commit
-over-perceive conflict in relationship
*Avoidance: high avoidance means…
-provide less support to partners
-less frequent intimate sexual activity but more casual sex
-attend more to alternative partners (wandering eye)
-more emotional and physical infidelity
*differ by relationship, change with relationship experiences
-Longitudinal study
-Predictor: maternal caregiving at 18 mos (sensitivity & controlling behaviors)
-DV: attachment of child at age 22 (avoidance and anxiety dimensions….to friends, parents, & romantic partner)
-not equal for all partners: mother's caregiving does NOT predict attachment to mother, but DOES predict attachment to friends and romantic partner
*people rely on peers/mates more than parents in early adulthood
-attachment security: more commitment, trust, intimacy, less conflict, jealousy, negative emotion
-attachment styles can be self-perpetuating, but can differ by relationship and change with relationship experiences
-Different types of love, can waiver or fade or grow into different types (it is not static)
-Sternberg's Triangular Theory:
Intimacy (emotional investment) *warm
Passion (motivational involvement) *hot
Commitment (cognitive decision) *cool
Only intimacy: "liking"–> friends
Only passion: "infatuation"–> love at first sight, sexual desire, intense longing, absorbed
Only commitment: "empty love"–>parents together just for the kids/beginning of arranged marriage
2 of 3:
Intimacy & Passion: Romantic love, most studied, early relationship (The Notebook), swift onset, short duration, idealization of the beloved, intense emotions, sexual desire
Intimacy & Commitment: Companionate love, best friends or very long-term established relationship
Passion & Commitment: Fatuous love, commitment based on passion, ex. whirlwind relationships/rushing into marriage (Mr. & Mrs. Smith)
None of 3: Non-love
(Arousal x its label = emotion)
-being aroused by any source should intensify passionate feelings
-When relationships last, companionate love is what remains
-But the drop in romantic love is not inevitable
*Avoid habituation (monotonous routine)
*Expand the self
-transfer of arousal (like the shaky bridge)
-COMMITMENT (the tendency to maintain a relationship, to feel psychologically attached to it, for better or worse, long-term, intent to persist) is much more important!
Other two…
*Level of investment in relationship* (things one would lose if the relationship ended…ex. kids, status, sex, friends)
*Quality of alternatives to relationship*
-When all 3 are high:
-*Satisfaction with the relationship* leads to high commitment to relationship–>stability of relationship
-*Level of investment in relationship* leads to high commitment to relationship–>stability of relationship
-*Quality of alternatives* leads to low commitment…higher quality of alternatives, less commitment!
_NOTE: We are satisfied when rewards minus costs are as good as or better than comparison level (what we expect/think we deserve) (*sw/r* and *lii/r*)
Investments: resources attached to relationship that you can't take away
Quality of Alternatives: are my realistic alternatives attractive?
-note: equitable outcomes need not always be equal outcomes
-Procedure: view advertisements, some depict young opposite sex models, rate physical and sexual attractiveness of the models, report own dating status
-Results: Both men and women: those involved in committed relationships rate models as less attractive than those who are single
*What about same-sex or older targets? People in relationships rate these models as just as attractive as those who are single!
-Relationship people derogate other potential partners
*More committed, more you derogate the alternatives
-must be determined to make marriage last, fear the termination cost, have a sense of moral obligation and be inattentive to possible alternative partners
-Stay married if: after 20, 2 parent stable homes, dated for a while before marriage, well&similarly educated, stable income, small town/farm, didn't cohabit/preg out of wedlock, are religiously committed, similar age, faith and education
-a process
-more pain over breaking up with someone, not being dumped
-3 ways of coping with failing relationship:
*loyalty (constructive, passive), neglect (destructive, passive), voice concerns (constructive, active) or eventually exit (destructive, active)
-not true experiments
-more often longitudinal studies
-try to understand what factors early in relationships
-problems: self-selection
-help individuals and offspring survive
-parent-offspring attachement ensures offspring survival and the continuation of genetics
-long term romantic bonds facilitate reproduction
-friendships is a means for nonkin to cooperate and avoid costs of competition and aggression
-regardless of culture-> that's what universal means
-specific kinds of play, support, and conflict may vary according to the culture
-parents in different cultures show similar kinds of attachment behaviors, including patterns of touch and eye contact
-when the need to belong is not met over a long period of time, people tend to suffer profoundly negative consequences
admissions to hospitals for psychological problems are 3-23 times higher for divorced
-suicide rates higher for sing and divorced
-relationships central to identities
-relational selves-> beliefs, feelings, and expectations about ourselves that derive from our relationships
-mother makes you feel sad-> supervisor that reminds you of your mother-> will transfer the feelings about mother also to supervisor
-shapes more immediate, accessible thoughts
-had participant interact with target person who reminded them of a positive or negative relationship
-process seems to be that:
1) the target reminds me of X
2) I therefore like the target
3) So I express positive affect toward the target
4) as a consequence, the target expresses positive affect toward me
-exchange relationships
-societies differ in which approach they generally prefer
-East Asia, Latin America-> communal
-European, Commonwealth-> exchange relationships
-based on a sense of "oneness"
-close friends and family members
-come to resemble one another in the timing of their laughter and their specific emotional experiences
-salespeople, bureaucrats
-people tend to like/gravitate to people who give them rewards (direct, indirect, obvious, not obvious)
-how can you get people to like you: reward them
-aim to maximize one's rewards and minimize one's costs.
-too many rewards and too few costs is not necessarily attractive either
-need to find a balance
-rewards and costs are shared equally among individuals
-recognizes the infant's emotional tie to the caregiver as an evolved response that promotes survival; children construct a working model based on their attachment experiences which becomes a vital part of personality, serving as a guide for all future close relationships
-individuals characterized by this have reported positive early family relationships and trusting attitudes toward others.
-within their adult partnerships, these individuals are comfortable getting close to and depending on others
-they describe their relationships as being characterized by happiness and trust, and view themselves as friendly and likable
-least likely to experience a romantic breakup
-more likely to be married at age 52 and reported fewer marital problems
– negative self model, positive other model (aka anxious ambivalent)
-high rates of depression, eating disorders, maladaptive drinking, and substance abuse
-important early life events affect later in life attachment styles
-Brennan and Shaver found that anxious individuals were more likely to have experienced the death of a parent, abuse during childhood, or the divorce of their parents
-those classified with a specific attachment style at age 1 will generally be classified with that attachment style later on in life
-can have different attachment styles depending on the relationship
-there is room for change in a person's attachment style even with a specific relationship
-apply most readily to modern western cultures
-westgate West Study
-manhattan housing project study
-sociometric survey
-asked who they listed as friends
MIT Married students, no pre-existing social relationships, 40%- next door neighbors, 20% 2 doors down, 10%- opposite end; very small changes in proximity changed likelihood of a relationship
-example of functional distance
-diverse population
-became friends even with different races
Festinger demonstrated that Propinquity and Attraction rely not only on physical distance but also "functional distance.",
-An architectural layout's tendency to encourage or inhibit contact between people
-proximity promotes friendship because it literally brings people together
-1/3 white
-rest puerto rican
-all ages
-88% designated best friend lived in the same building as respondent
-1/2 lived on the same floor
-friendships developed across age and racial groups
-people tend to give those they expect to interact with the benefit of the doubt->knowing we're going to interact with that person->makes us like them more
-study in minnesota done that proved that
-initial positive stance toward others is likely to create a cycle in which the favorable expectations of each partner are reinforced by the positive behavior of the other
-this effect probably helped our ancestors survive: what was familiar was more trustworthy, safe, we find fluency pleasurable
-classical conditioning-> the stimuli is paired with nothing negative so we learn to associate the stimuli with the absence of anything negative
-In the modern age, thanks to mirrors and photos, the face we are most familiar with is our own; so now we are now attracted to people that look like us
-experiment also done with rats and music
–suggests that mere exposure to something will make you like it more.
Showed subjects polygons subliminally.
People then showed more polygons and asked which ones they like more.
People liked the ones they were subliminally exposed to more!
Ran different groups with opposite shapes in each condition
–proved that this wasn't why people like certain ones.
Showed that there is a subliminal mere exposure effect.
-agreement on core political values is likely to have more of an impact on whether you like someone that whether you root for the same baseball team or agree on the best musical groups of the '90's
-the similarity of engaged couples was strongest for demographic characteristics (social & religion), and physical characteristics (health and physical characteristics)
-less strong (but still present) for personality characteristics
-interracial and interethnic couples tend to be more similar to each other in terms of their personality traits than are couples of the same race and ethnicity
-people compensate for dissimilarity on one dimension by seeking out greater similarity on others
-ex: dependent person profit from being with someone who is nurturing
-more restrictive
-only mades sense for those traits for which one person's needs can be met by the other
-may only find complementarity with dependence-nurturance or introversion-extraversion
-not in honesty, optimism, conscientiousness
-they tend to go smoothly
-similar->reinforce our behaviors
-they don't make us question the important part of ourselves
-most people believe that their beliefs are the "right" ones and having someone disagree with that is unsettling
-people who are similar to us have the "right" characteristics
-visible-> immediate
-variability in what people find attractive
-people tend to find those they like more attractive than those they don't like
-happy couples tend to perceive each other as physically attractive even if others don't
-attractiveness not stable-> changes over time
-essay written by attractive author is evaluated more favorably than one attributed to an unattractive author
-studies have shown that each 1-point increase (on a 5 point scale) in physical attractiveness is worth approximately $2000 in additional salary
-men are more likely to come to the aid of an injured woman if she is good looking
-jurors give attractive defendants a break and receive lighter sentences from judges
To assign generally positive or generally negative traits to a person after observing one specific positive or negative trait
-Physically attractive people are perceived as having more positive characteristics, such as kindness, sociability, honesty, etc. This is an example of the halo effect. The halo effect occurs when people become stereotyped based on earlier impressions and these impressions color future events. It can be positive or negative
-only consistently negative inferences about physically attractive individuals are that they are immodest and less likely to be good parents
-attractive women seen as vain and materialistic
-physically attractive: happier, less stressed, greater control over what happens to them
-people may make a greater effort with those they consider attractive
-self fulfilling prophecy: we expect them to be these things, and make it easier for them which allows them to seem to be the things we expect
-world tends to focus on womens attractiveness than mens
-attractiveness more important in determining women's life outcomes than men's
-obesity-> hurts womens "image" more
-women deemed unattractive at work experience more negative outcomes than similarly unattractive men
-matters more for women than men
-beauty=power for women
-freud-> womens vanity-> survival tactic in a world that emphasizes women's attractiveness
-ranges from person to person, culture to culture
-asians, blacks, and whites share roughly the same opinions of which asia, black, and white faces they find attractive
-infants prefer to look at faces that adults consider attractive more than at faces that adults consider unattractive
-exaggerated features
-average faces
-bilateral symmetry
*these exist independent of each other
theory: evolutionary theory
critique: women also look for resources, status, commitment, etc. from men
Research Method:
1) Researchers created an average face by dividing each individual face into small squares
2) each square was assigned a number based on a shade of gray
3) researchers then averaged the shades of gray across the two photos to create an averaged configuration of the two individual photos and continued averaging even more individual faces with the newly created face
Results: participants found the average faces to be more attractive than the individual faces from which they had been constructed
Conclusion: Faces that are close to the average of all faces are judged more attractive
1) a face created by averaging 60 faces
2) a face created by averaging only the 15 most attractive of these faces
3) a face created by calculating the differences between the first two composites and then exaggerating these differences by 50%
-participants found the exaggerated face to be more attractive
-departures from symmetry result from:
-injuries to an organism in utero
-injuries caused by exposure to parasites
-infectious disease during pregnancy
**serves as a signal of an organisms ability to resist disease
-ova more "expensive" to contribute
-intrasex competition
-intersex attraction
-women ought to be more selective in their choice of mates-> men should be more indiscriminate than women
-male typically louder, gaudier member of society
broad hips: means more likely to successfully carry children; store nutrients for pregnancy and nursing
-signs of youth
-in every culture, prefer marriage partners who were younger than they were
-not so much attracted to youth as men tend to continue to produce sperm much later in life
-gender equality did not affect how much importance men placed on women's attractiveness
-women asked to sniff t-shirts of men who varied in bilateral symmetry
-women closer to ovulation found the t-shirts of the more symmetrical men more appealing
-generally rate more feminized male faces as most attractive EXCEPT when they are ovulating and the chances of conception are highest
-near ovulation-> like masculine features more
-those who interacted with a female confederate who was near the ovulatory phase of her cycle were both more likely to mimic her nonverbal behavior and more likely to take risks in a decision-making task in her presence (to make a good impression)
2) would prefer to have a "fling" with a man with a lower, more masculine voice
3) prefer men who pursue more confident, assertive, and competitive tactics of self-presentation
-found that when one individual feels unique desire and chemistry for another, those feelings are reciprocated
-speed daters who felt chemistry for many other people actually generated little desire or chemistry in others
-apparently people can detect whether interest is targeted or promiscuous
-increase-> include their partner's perspectives, experiences, and characteristics more and more into their own self-concept-> two become one
-forgo: other flirtations, relationships, reproductive opportunities; commitment of resources to one another; and pragmatic demands of coordinating two sets of interest, value, friends, and career aspirations
1. rewards, 2. few alternative partners, 3. investments. These show commitment, prosocial behavior and trust/satisfaction.
Romantic satisfaction highly depends on level of rewards.
More committed partners enjoy more satisfying and stable bonds, use "we," represent own identity as overlapping with their partner.
*Rewards: must outnumber negative experiences-> strongest determinants of romantic satisfaction=how much they get out of the relationship
*Alternatives: they must be committed to only one-> Fewer=more likely to stay
*Investments: how much you put into it->more likely to stay depending on the how much you've invested, direct and indirect
-indirect: memories, shared friends
-direct: time, effort, caring
Personality: neurotic people tend to be more anxious, tense, emotionally volatile, have less happy romances and more likely to divorce.
-sensitive to rejection: greater difficulty with intimate relationships, greater hostility
Low SES: financial burdens decrease rewards in couple's life (critical to investment model)
Age: those who marry young more likely to end in divorce.
Early divorcers experience contempt, anger, while late divorcers experience absence of humor and interest.
* criticism (attack personality or values)
* contempt (insulting partner's sense of self)
* defensiveness
* stonewalling (silent treatment)
– Stress
* bad communication skills
Research Method:
1) researchers coded facial expressions of contempt from a 15-minute conversation between married partners
2) they then related the number of contempt expressions to the likelihood that the couple would eventually divorce or stay together
Results: Married partners who expressed more contempt were more likely to be divorced 14 years later than married partners who expressed less contempt
Conclusion: contempt and derisive feelings towards your romantic partner are toxic for the relationship
-Be playful: Engage in playful, novel, and exhilarating activities throughout the relationship.
-Care and forgive: Care, cultivate compassionate love for your partner. Forgiveness involves a shift in feeling toward someone who has done you harm, away from ideas about revenge and avoidance toward a more positive understanding to the humanity of the person who engaged in the harmful act.
-The more typical pattern is a marriage arranged by the parents versus a marriage with romantic love. Most of South, East, Southeast Asian and Africa participate in arranged marriages.
-seen as "transactions"
-feelings of love, romance, affection follow marriage, rather than precede
-can experience mismatches
-lack of expectation that there should be romantic love also makes it less likely that the gradual transformation from romantic to companionate love will be a source of disappointment
Operant Conditioning
The person providing the food becomes associated with this pleasure and becomes a conditioned stimulus.
The food giver becomes a source of pleasure, whether or not food is supplied.
Being fed satisfies the infants hunger, making it feel comfortable again, resulting in a drive reduction.
This is rewarding so the child learns the food is a reward or primary enforcer. The person who supplies the food becomes a secondary enforcer. The infant seeks to be with this person because they are a source of reward.
•Harlow and Harlow found that contact comfort was the main source of reinforcement and not food.
•Learning theory is reductionist – too simple to explain attachment behaviour.
•Attachment is a biological process – it takes place in a critical period or not at all.
•Attachment plays a role in later development (continuity hypothesis)
Infants are born 'programmed' to become attachment and adults are 'programmed' to form this kind of relationships with their infants.
Social releasers – social behaviours that elicit a caregiving reaction from another e.g. smiling, crying. They are necessary to ensure an interaction takes place.
Critical period is a feature of biological characteristic – if development doesn't take place in a set critical time then it might not take place at all.
Provides an explanative of the fact that early patterns of development are related to later child characteristics.
•Is the major theory of attachment
•Generates a great deal of research
•Has a huge impact on emotional care of young children.
•Doesn't explain why some children are able to cope with poor attachment experiences while others suffer long-term consequences.
Hazan and Shaver (1987) 'love quiz' in a mag. To collect info on people's early attachments and their current romantic attitudes. Found that: People securely attached as infants – have happier and lasting love relationships and believe love is enduring and about mutual trust.
People insecurely attached as infants – more likely to be divorced and felt true love was rare.
Later these children were adopted the slower their progress.
1.Mother and child introduced to room
2.Mother and child left alone and child can investigate toys
3.Stranger enters room and talks with mother. Gradually approaches infant with toy.
4.Mother leaves child alone with stranger and stranger interacts with child.
5.Mother returns to greet and comfort child
6.Child is left alone
7.Stranger returns and tries to interact with child
8.Mother returns, greets and picks up child. Stranger leaves.
•Observers looked at the following:
-Separation anxiety, Infants willingness to explore, Stranger anxiety, Reunion behaviour
•Avoidant-insecure infants – didn't orientate to mother when investigating room, did not seem concerned by her absence, show little interest in her when she returned. Mothers described as sometimes ignoring their infants.
•Resistant-insecure infants – shows intense distress when mother was absent, rejected her when she returned. Mothers appeared to behave ambivalently towards infant.
•Most of the children were securely attached.
•Association between mothers behaviour and infants attachment type.
Enables us to assess whether or not children are securely attached, and how this attachment relates to specific behaviours.
Studies have found SSC technique to be reliable as it is usually the same at different ages.
Limitations/Evidence Against:
Study only on middle-class Americans, can't be generalised.
•Main and Cassidy (1988) found another classification group, Disorganised.
•Infants and mothers were observed in Strange Situation.
•No infants classified as avoidant-insecure.
•32% resistant secure.
•Japanese infants much more distressed when left alone. Alone stage had to be stopped for 90% of participants because they were so distressed.
•Total lack of avoidant behaviour, another cross-cultural variation. Japanese children are taught that such behaviour is impolite.
•Strange Situation does not have the same meaning for the Japanese culture as it does for American participants and is not, therefore, a valid assessment for that culture.
•Limited sample, only middle-class, home reared infants. Might not be appropriate to generalise results to whole Japanese population.
Schaffer and Emerson (1964) found that although infants tend to have multiple attachments, they appear usually to have one primary attachment.
•Development of this relationship must occur during critical period – before age of 2.5
•Bowlby didn't suggest relationship had to be with mother.
•44 of the children had been referred to clinic because of stealing – Bowlby identified 16 of these thieves as ' affection less psychopaths'
•Remaining 44 children had not committed any crimes. They were emotionally maladjusted but didn't show any anti-social behaviour.
•Bowlby interviewed children and families – created a record of their early life
•Only 17 % of the other thieves who weren't described as affectionless psychopaths had experienced such separation experiences.
•Only 4% of the control group had experiences early separations.
•In most severe form, maternal separation, leads to affection less psychopathy and in its less severe form it leads to antisocial behaviour.
•These findings support the Maternal Deprivation Hypothesis
•Data on separation was collected retrospectively – may not be reliable.
•Not all research shows that deprivation leads to maladjustment. Bowlby et al (1956)
•Michael Rutter claimed that:
-Bowlby confused 'cause and effect' with an 'association'. The fact they early separation and maladjustment are linked does not means that one caused the other.
-Bowlby didn't distinguish between different kinds of deprivation.
•Case studies of children raised in extreme isolation
•Studies of reactive attachment disorder, a category of mental disorder linked to a lack of early attachments.
•65 children who had been placed in an institution when they were less than 4 months old. The institutions had a policy that caregivers couldn't form attachments – this would suggest early privation.
•By age of 4; 24 had been adopted, 15 had returned to natural homes and the rest remained in the institution.
•Assessment at 8 and 16 involved interviewing children who were adopted and who had returned to natural homes. Parents, teachers, peers also interviewed. Data also collected form a control group of 'normal' peers.
•Both groups were more likely to seek adult attention and and approval than control group. Both groups were less successful in peer relations.
•Some evidence does support the maternal deprivation hypothesis. Outside the family environment it would appear that early privation did have an effect on subsequent social development. E.g. finding it difficult to make peer relations.
•Some people may have dropped out over the years – likely to be those who were less socially able, creating a bias sample possibly.
•Never allowed out of house and were kept in a small, unheated closet.
•Discovered at 7 – they could hardly walk, had acute rickets, fearful and speech was very poor.
•Placed in a foster home and are now adults and appear well adjusted and cognitively able.
•Father punished her if she made any sound.
•Discovered at 13 – couldn't walk, was unsocialised, had appearance of a 7 year old.
•Never achieved good social adjustment or language despite being placed in a foster family.
Not good for securely attached – separation from good quality care was detrimental
Overall good though e.g. Scope Perry Pre-School Project
Sammons 2003 – slight risk of increased antisocial behaviour when children spend 20+ hours a week, and increased risk at 40+.
Melhuish 2004 – increased aggression in children whose carers were constantly changing.
2) attachment-in-the-making
3) clear-cut attachment
4) reciprocal relationship
innate signals (e.g., crying)
respond preferentially to familiar people
actively seek contact with regular caregivers, separation anxiety develops, mother as a secure base
mutually regulated relationship
2) how infant reacts to brief separations from and reunions with caregivers
2) insecure/resistant (or ambivalent) attachment
3) insecure/avoidant attachment
4) disorganized/disoriented attachment
when the caregiver returns, the infant is not easily comforted and both seek comfort and resist efforts by the caregiver to comfort them
if they are upset when they are left alone, they are as easily comforted by as stranger as by the caregiver
2) earn higher grades and are more involved in school than insecurely attached children
1) one's own physical being
2) social roles and relationships
3) "spiritual" or internal characteristics
Babies become attached to their mother because she provides food, which is a reinforcer. The baby learns that food is a reward or primary reinforcer. The person who supplies food (mother) is associated with the food and becomes a secondary reinforcer (a means to obtain the primary reinforcer). The mother is only loved because she provides food. Can also be the father or any other carer associated with food. Carer could alsobe reinforcing by providing comfort, for example if the baby is crying. The carer would take away something unpleasant. This is negative reinforcement.
Cannot be generalised to humans.
Lab study however, extraneous variables controlled.
Retrospective data – remembering things from childhood.
Voluntary sample – only a certain type of people may apply.
Key words may have different meaning to different people.
Time spent with infant: in 39% of the cases the person who usually fed, bathed, and changed the child was not the child's primary attachment object. In other words, many of the mothers were not the person who performed these tasks yet they were the main attachment object.
Only sixty infants – not representative.
Observer bias.
Hadn't standardised ages. The youngest was five weeks and the oldest 23 weeks.
Evolutionary explanations are post-hoc, an assumption rather than proven fact.
Seperation anxiety
Stranger anxiety
Reunion behaviour
Mothers behaviour
It is not clear whether Genie suffered from some kind of learning difficulties from birth. Dr Jake Shurley found that Genie had abnormal sleep spindles, which suggested she had been brain damaged; however, Curtiss argued that as Genie had made such good progress she must have been 'normal'.
Case studies such as these can give only limited information, and may not be generalisable to the whole human population; Genie may be special, and there are lots of things we can't know about her early experience.
There are many ethical issues arising from this study: Rigler's triple role as therapist, scientist and foster parent made it difficult for his to be fair to Genie – her welfare should have been paramount; however, the programme did offer her a good chance of improvement.
Various measures: interviews with participants, parents, teachers; social difficulties questionnaire.
All Ps had been in institutional care until they were at least 2 yrs old.
Control group (who had never been in care) were matched on several factors (eg sex, position in family, occupation of breadwinner)
Children were also compared with a same-sex school friend.
There was also a comparison between the institutional children who had been restored to their natural families and those who had been adopted.
At age 4 most had formed attachments with new parents, but a third were attention seekers.
At 8 the ex-institutional children had reasonable language and cognitive skills for their age; their parents claimed they had no problems, but according to teachers they were more attention-seeking, quarrelsome, and less popular than comparison group children.
At age 16 adopted children had closer attachment to parent than restored children; adopted children still described by teachers as more quarrelsome and less popular than their peers; ex-institutional children had more problems with siblings than control groups, and less likely to have special friends.
Adoptive parents were highly motivated to be successful parents; parents of 'restored' children were often ambivalent.
However, children do have some developmental problems when compared to children who never experienced institutional care
• physically attractiveness
• proximity
• similarity
• reciprocity
Cognitive components: people who are in love think about their partners all of the time. We think about them more positively (love is blind);
Positive Outcomes/rewards (If I can get something from you, I am more likely to like you. Ex: gifts, attention, you make me laugh)
Physical Attractiveness (Attracted to pretty people because you think their good people. Ex: Beauty is good bias and attractiveness is helpful/advantageous)
Proximity (closeness)
Ex: We are attracted to attractive people because we think they have good genes (Not something that you consciously think about)
Ex: Denzel Washington
Some evidence says attractive people smell better
Sex Differences: Back to evolutionary theory- women: large eyes, small nose, youthful faces, small chin, full lips, and feminine
Ex: Angelina Joe Lee & Kerry Washington
Men- strong jaws, broad foreheads, a very masculine and dominant look or friendly and feminine faces. This is because for women to pass on their genes, they have a huge parental investment. With men, they have a much shorter/lower parental investment. Men want the best genes possible and a woman who can take care of a child. Women are attracted to masculine men when they are ovulating. The other 26 days, they are attracted to a nice guy like Justin Timberlake. Women preference change when ovulating (Ovulatory shift). Women are attracted to strength but they are also attracted to resources.
Familiarity(being around people, we are more likely to like them). Moreland & Beach (1992)-had women go to a college class several times throughout the semester. Either went 0, 5, 10, or 15 times. The class voted and liked the woman who went to class 15 times.
Similarity (ex: attitudes, interest, education, background)- Has to be more similarity than not. There is a balance because I don't want to date my clone or my evil doppelganger.
Reciprocity- (We like people that like us); We sometimes start liking people because they like us
Cognitive Components: Think about their partners all of the time. Thinking about your partner can help you love them more. We think of them more positively (love is blind).
Biology of being in love- Loving, Crockett, & Paxson (2009): People in this study were passionately in love with their partner. When they talked about their partner, cortisol (stress hormone) increased in their body. It was a threat to the system, a high/lack of control.
Intimacy alone is known as liking
Commitment alone is known as empty love
Some relationships begin with just commitment, like arranged marriages.
If you have passion & intimacy, it results in romantic love (Nicholas Sparks). There is no COMMITMENT.
Passion and commitment is called fatuous/foolish love. Ex: I love you so much, we're going to be married forever; Romeo and Juliet (didn't even know her last name)
Companionate: EX: Best friend; type of love your grandparents have.
If you have all three, that is known as consummate (or complete) love. Sternberg's tells us that this is easier to get than to maintain.
Romantic lovers are drawn to each other physically and bonded emotionally.
They are not, however, bonded to each other.
Nicholas Sparks
There is no commitment
This is the kind of love that leads to a whirlwind courtship, in which a couple makes a commitment based on passion and not intimacy.
This type of love usually does not last, despite the intent to commit.
Ex: I love you so much, we're going to be married forever
Romeo & Juliet (didn't even know her last name)
This is a long-term committed friendship, often occurring in marriages in which physical attraction has died down but in which the partners feel close to each other and have made the decision to stay together.
Type of love your grandparents have
Ex: Best friend
It is easier to reach it than to hold onto it – This type of love may evolve into compassionate love.
If you have all three: Passion, commitment, and intimacy
Sternberg tells us that this is easier to get to than to maintain.
Two dimensions of attachment: Anxiety over abandonment and avoidance of intimacy
This is "love at first sight", a strong physical attraction and sexual arousal without intimacy or commitment.
This is often found in long-term relationships that have lost both intimacy and passion, or in arranged marriages
This is closeness, understanding, emotional support, affection, bondedness, and warmth.
Argues that we are maximizers. We want the most we can get out of a relationship.
(Can e tangible or intangible)
Ex: time
We compare outcomes to our comparison level to see how satisfied we are.
Ex: Time, money, energy, effort, personal integrity
Ex: Can I do better than this current relationship?
Alone can also be an alternative.
Predicts relationship stability
Differences and changes in affection (Huston et al., 2001)- They were curious about affection in relationships. 168 newlywed couples; Measured them 2 months after they were married, then 2 years later and 13-14 years later. 105 couples still together, 56 divorced, 7 widowed. People who divorced late had just as much love & affection. No they weren't always different. But they experienced a huge drop in love affection which is different from the other couples.
Method: Told to discuss a relationship problem for 15 minutes. they video taped you having the argument. Unhappy couples use less positive and more negative communication during conflict. They exhibit more negative emotion. Use less affection when they fight. Greater predictability of behaviors between partners. Longer cycles of negative reciprocal behaviors.
"Relationship" frame of mind- Thinks as "we". Puts partner's interest ahead of their own, makes enhancing relationship attributions.
Positive Illusions: About ones partner- see your partner better than they see themselves. About ones relationship- see their relationship as improving even when there is no objective evidence
Downplay the attractiveness of alternatives- Had participants tell them about a dating site. Had to rate attractiveness of people. High threat condition: Told them that they would like to meet you.
Second marriages- 23% and 39%
Divorces and break-ups in general are associated with- a host of negative things: negative emotion, physical & mental health problems, stress increases, accidents increase. Why? – Because everything you invested is gone; a real sense of loss. A loss of money, social structure (splitting friends), feeling of rejection, all around unpleasant
The rejecters vs. Rejected
Rejecter group: Women felt sadness; men were split between sadness and happiness (a lot of sex differences)
Rejectees: Women sad and men sad (not a lot of sex difference)
anxious attachment–not as reliable in their responses to the infants
avoidant attachment–rejected infants
secured attachment–responded quickly and reliably
When there is not a clear answer and you need to reach consensus (not action) then disagreement is helpful
2. Controlled processing
2. concious and systematic, and more likely to be controlled by careful thought
2. indivualist
2. emphasize the individual
For example; people who watch the 11pm local news– with its murders, fires, and other news worthy mayhem– see more danger in the world than people who do not.
2. dependent variable
2. the variable that is presumed to be affected by the independent variable manipulation and that is measured in experiment research
"An individuals tendency or predisposition to evaluate another person.. in a positive or negative way"
2. physical attractiveness
3.similarity in attitudes
2. bilateral symmetry
2. Decrease in prosocial behavior
3. May exhibit interest in forming new social bonds
4. Feelings of numbness and loss of sensitivity to physical pain
5. Change in one's emotions
2. Isolation breeds more isolation
3. Deviance
4. "Falling upward"
2. avoidant attachment style
3. anxious attachment style
1. feelings of security in relationships; individuals with this style are comfortable with intimacy and desire to be close to others during times of threat and uncertainty
2. feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style are prone to exhibit compulsive self- reliance, prefer distance from others, and during conditions of threat and uncertainty are dismissive and detached.
3. feelings of insecurity in relationships; individuals with this style compulsively seek closeness, express continual worries about relationships and during situations of threat and uncertainty try to get closer to others
high power individuals are more extraverted and low power is more introverted. power comes from: authority, expertise, coercion, rewards to others, and reference power
2. expertise on knowledge
3. coercion: ability to use force and aggression
4. rewards to others
5. reference power
power inhibition: high power individuals should be a little less systematic and careful in how they judge the social world. found that participants given power in an experiment are indeed less likely to at ten to individuating information and more likely to rely on stereotypes
2. authority ranking relationship
3. equality matching relationship
4. market pricing relationship
5. exchange relationship
6. communal relationship
1. a relationship based on a sense of sameness and kinship. Resources are generated by those in the group capable of doing so, and resources go to those in need. (family, close friends)
2. a relationship based on hierarchy, status, and a linear ordering of people within a group. (military, modern organizations, gangs)
3. a relationship based on equality, reciprocity, and balance. (roommates, friends, carpool, most friendships)
4. a relationship based on a sense of proportion, trade, and equity, in which people are concerned with ensuring that their inputs to a relationship correspond to what they get out of the relationship. (employee/worker, investor/corp.)
5. relationships in which the individuals feel little responsibility toward one another and in which giving and receiving are governed by concerns about equity and reciprocity; such relationships are often short term
6. relationships in which the individuals feel a special responsibility for one another and give according to the principle of ability and receive according to the principle of need; such relationships are often long term.
1. important to our social life
2. important to our well being
1. criticism
2. defensiveness
3. stonewalling
4. contempt
1. ideal self: embodies the wishes and aspirations we and other people maintain about ourselves.
2. ought self: concerned with the duties, obligations, and external demands we feel we are compelled to honor.
-may be volatile and use violent action to reassert his superiority and to dominate
-people who report high self esteem and grandiosity also report greater aggressive tendencies
-slavery, terrorism, and genocide are products of dangerous mixture of feelings of superiority and threats to the go.
off record: indirect and ambiguous communication that allows us to hint at ideas and meanings that are not explicit in the words we utter.
2. building a relationship
3. continuation
4. deterioration
5. ending
– Prominent cheekbones
– Rugged chins
– some like feminine features of full lips, slender nose, and finer chin
– women
– men
– .9
– Associated effect
– Ludus
– Storge
– Pragma
– Mania
– Agape
– Passion (infatuation)
– Commitment (empty love)
– Avoidant
– Anxious/ambivalent
– Dismissive avoidant
– Commitment
– Similarity
– Positive affect
– boredom
– positive vs. negative communication
– jealousy
i. History of current relationship can have influence on comparison level.
ii. All depends on your expectations.
i. Man deciding to stay in unhappy marriage at fear he might lose custody of kids.
– Drives short-term and long-term relationships
– Why? Aids Survival: Reproduction, Cooperation = protection, success as hunter/gatherer; People who feel supported by close relationships are happier, healthier, and at lower risk for psychological disorders and premature death
2. Similarity
3. Reciprocity
4. Physical Attractiveness
– Mere Exposure: The more exposure we have to a stimulus, the more likely we are to like it
– caveats of proximity effect:
1. Third variable: shared interests.
-Greater proximity often = shared interests, so it might not be only proximity that leads to proximity effects
2. Proximity effects occur mostly when original
evaluation of a person is neutral
-if you hate someone it's unlikely that being around them more will increase liking
3. If similarity is very low, proximity can increase
negative feelings
– Perceived similarity more important than actual similarity
– Why?:
1. We think that people who are similar to us will
also like us, so we are likely to initiate a relationship 2. People who are similar validate our own
characteristics and beliefs
3. We make negative inferences about someone who
disagrees with us on important issues
4. Share activities and interests 5. Better communication 6. Less competition and ego threat (e.g., similarity in
– Related to self-fulfilling prophecy – if we believe someone likes us, we behave in more likable ways
– What's attractive in women: large eyes, small nose, small chin, big smile
– Symmetry: placement and size of features is similar on both sides of the face
– Attractive people are thought to be more: Sociable, Extraverted, Popular, Sexual, Happy, Assertive
– Self-fulfilling prophecy (yet again): The beautiful receive a great deal of social attention that helps them develop good social skills
– Intimacy = affective, emotional component (bondedness, warmth, sharing) — liking
– Commitment = cognitive component (conscious decision to maintain relationship) — empty love
– Fatuous Love: passion + commitment
– Passionate Love (also called Romantic Love): An intense longing we feel for a person, accompanied by physiological arousal (intimacy + passion)
– Companionate Love: The feelings of intimacy and affection that we have for someone that are not accompanied by passion or physiological arousal (intimacy + commitment)
– Consummate Love: The complete form of love that encompasses passion, intimacy, and commitment (intimacy + commitment + passion)
– measure (upon reunion): Proximity seeking, Contact maintaining, Avoidance of proximity and contact, Resistance to contact and comforting
– Our individual attachment style becomes our schema — our expectations about relationships — guide behavior, allowing a person to anticipate and plan for partner responses
– If people had unhappy relationships with their parents, they are not necessarily doomed to repeat this!
– People's experience in relationships can help them learn new and more healthy ways of relating to others
– People may develop more than one attachment style over time
2. Avoidant: • Aloof and distant caregivers; reject intimacy • Desire intimacy but think it will be rejected • Fear rejection; difficulty developing relationships • Least likely to enter into a romantic relationship and the most likely to report never having been in love • Maintain distance in relationships and have the lowest level of commitment
3. Anxious/Ambivalent: • Inconsistent and overbearing caregivers • Anxious; can't predict how caregiver will respond • More short-term relationships • Have the most short-lived romantic relationships • Enter into romantic relationships the most quickly, often before they know their partners well • The most upset and angriest when their love is not reciprocated
– Relationship satisfaction depends on:
1. Rewards received from the relationship 2. Costs incurred by being in the relationship 3. What one expects to get in a relationship (comparison
4. Probability that a better relationship is available
(comparison level for alternatives)
– At seven months, couples who were still together believed their rewards had increased over time
– Rewards were always important, but costs became more important over time; higher costs (relative to rewards) = higher dissatisfaction
– Rusbult's Investment Model says that we also need to consider a person's level of investment in the relationship
– Commitment to a relationship depends not only on rewards, costs, comparison level, and comparison level for alternatives, but also on how much a person has invested in a relationship that would be lost by ending it
– Investments include tangible things (money, house) and intangible things (time, energy)
*pic on phone
– Equitable relationships are the happiest and most stable – – In inequitable relationships, one person feels: -Lots of rewards, few costs -Lots of costs, few rewards (worse)
– The more we get to know someone, the more we are more reluctant to believe that we are simply exchanging favors and the less inclined to expect immediate compensation for a favor
– Exchange Relationships: Relationships governed by the need for equity (i.e., for an equal ratio of rewards and costs)
– Communal Relationships: Relationships in which people's primary concern is being responsive to the other person's needs
– Three attachment styles: (1) secure, (2) avoidant, (3) anxious/ambivalent
– Three types of love: (1) passionate/romantic, (2) companionate, (3) consummate
– Three models of relationship satisfaction: (1) social exchange theory, (2) investment model, (3) equity theory
ex. girl's really hot, guy's really rich
(long-term attractions)
complementarity- you look for someone to complement you
a) perceivers tend to believe that someone who is attractive also possesses a range of other positive characteristics
b) large cross-cultural differences emerge in terms of what is seen as physically attractive in the human face
c) the more someone looks like us, the less attractive we typically find him or her to be
d) asymmetrical faces are typically viewed as more attractive because they're so distinctive
a) symmetrical faces remind us of ourselves and therefore elicit positive feelings
b) symmetry is a sign of health and that a potential mate has good genes
c) "western" cultures place a greater emphasis on physical attractiveness than do "eastern" cultures
d) all of the above
a) men are more easily distracted by the presence of a mobile phone during a conversation than are women
b) even if a mobile phone isn't being used during a conversation, it can still pose a distraction that comes at the expense of social engagement
c) contrary to what some critics believe, the availability of mobile phones and smartphones has no negative effect on social engagement
d) while laptops and tablet computers can be distracting during face to face interaction, smartphones are not
(valued more by american couples than chinese couples)
a) a high sense of investment
b) a low comparison level for alternatives
c) a low comparison level
d) a high comparison level
a) both the underbenefited and the overbenefited individuals will be unsatisfied with it
b) the overbenefited individual will be satisfied with it
c) it will transition from a communal relationship to an exchange relationship
d) both the underbenefited and the overbenefited will still be satisfied with it
a) the couple decides to get back together
b) one member of the couple thinks a lot about his or her relationship dissatisfaction
c) the breakup is announced to other people
d) one member of the couple discusses the potential breakup with the other person
a) heterosexual couples are more likely than homosexual couples to remain friends after a breakup
b) constructive behaviors help a relationship more than destructive behaviors harm it
c) the same qualities that first draw us to a person can, with time, become qualities that contribute to breaking up
d) so-called "mutual" breakups are often the most emotionally disruptive type of relationship dissolution
a) people like others who like them
b) people find "average" faces to be more attractive than unusual faces
c) the more we see and interact with people, the more we will like them
d) people in communal relationships tend to keep track of who is contributing what to the relationship
a) their satisfaction with the relationship
b) the level of investment in the relationship
c) the availability and quality of alternative partners
d) all of the above
a) eric and marquel stop having similar interests
b) eric and marquel are romantically interested in the same person
c) eric is much more likely to help marquel out when he needs it than marquel is to help eric
d) eric has a "makeover" and suddenly becomes far more attractive than marquel
a) avoidant; aloof and distant
b) communal; smothering but very open
c) anxious/ambivalent; inconsistent and overbearing
d) secure; responsive to his needs
a) high comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives
b) low comparison levels; low comparison level for alternatives
c) high comparison level; low equity level
d) low comparison level; high comparison level for alternatives
emerge primarily under stress.
roots in social exchange theory and game theory
tools include matrices (prisoners dilemma)
transition lists
relationships of that type are judged (i.e., social comparison).
o (based on the product of all past experiences and relationships of that
given type)
can be shaped by imagined relationships
whether to stay in the relationship or to leave.
o lowest level of one is willing to accept given the availability of alternative
o affected not only by alternatives in that given domain, but other opportunities outside this context (i.e., being alone means more time for me)
o if outcomes exceed CL then one feels satisfied
o if outcomes falls below the CL then one feels unsatisfied
relationship for the fulfilment of important needs.
o explains the effects of CL-alt.
o when outcomes exceed CL-alt the individual is more dependent.
(i.e., dependence of romantic relationship is lower and chances for break- up is higher if attractive alternatives exist).
o when outcomes are above the CL-alt the individual is more dependent (i.e., the exploited worker).
if outcomes moderately exceed CL-alt but greatly exceed CL, then the individual is satisfied and moderately dependent.
o if outcomes moderately exceed CL but greatly exceed CL-alt (CL fall under CL-alt), then the individual is moderately satisfied but highly dependent.
o if CL exceeds outcomes and CL-alt then this is termed non-voluntary dependence.
2.MUTUALITY OF DEPENDENCE – degree to which partners are mutually rather than unilaterally dependent
3. BASIS OF DEPENDENCE – degree to which the dependence relies on joint versus partner control (Behavioural Control, BC vs Fate Control, FC)
4. COVARIATION OF INTERESTS – degree to which partners' preferences for joint outcomes correspond as oppose to conflict
5. TEMPORAL STRUCTURE – the dynamic and sequential aspect of relationships
6. INFORMATION AVAILABILITY – the degree of information that is accessible and known about a relationship partner
so dependency can be elaborated in that individuals are more dependent to the extent that they cannot unilaterally guarantee themselves good outcomes, and therefore, rely on partner's actions for fulfilment of important needs
negative emotions are less likely
symmetrical dependence should be associated with enhanced stability of on-going relationship
suggested to be associated with superior couple adjustment
versus partner control (BC vs FC)
relationships high in FC are regarded as other-controlled
relationships high in FC are prone to the use of threats, promises and other forms of agreement
relationships high in BC are jointly controlled (therefore joint dependence) – how can we co-ordinate our actions so that we both achieve rewards?
but high BC can lead to free-loading or contributing little while still collecting profits
joint outcomes correspond as oppose to conflict
can involve similar or complementary behaviour (i,e., division of labour).
correspondence determines whether individuals will see themselves as working with one another, against one another, whether they are partners or opponents
therefore, non-correspondent relationships involve suspicion, distrust or even hostile attitudes amidst partners
as a result of a certain interaction, certain future behaviours, outcomes or situations may become more or less tenable (there is a transition in the list of behaviours available in future time, aka transition list)
relationships consist of interactions that vary in how long they last- extended situations – involve various steps before reaching a goal or outcome
transition from one situation into another often involves bringing another into a situation in which the behavioural options and/or outcomes available differ to the previous situation; we often do this in a tactical way – situation selection
information about relationship partners is important in understanding how to behave with them – information around needs, goals, motives, and opportunities that can arise is essential
lack of such information can be risky as it creates uncertainty on how to act, putting oneself or relationship partner in a vulnerable situation
as a result,people are motivated to learn much about another
(part of the transformation process)
outcomes for the interacting partner
(relationship investments)
satisfaction level
quality of alternatives
investment size
willingness to sacrifice
derogation of alternatives
positive illusion
leads to couple wellbeing (persistence adjustment)
– problem-based solutions based on pro-relationship transformations
– serve to maintain a relationship in the face of uncertainty, positive alternatives and non-correspondent outcomes
– are associated with personal costs (e.g., enact undesirable behaviour, modify cognitive representations)
2. cognitive maintenance acts: Mental restructuring
Inclination to inhibit destructive tendencies and react in a constructive manner to partner's destructive behaviour
– greater the commitment, the greater the accommodation
o unique contribution above and beyond, satisfaction, alternatives and
o often mediated by perspective taking, empathic accuracy, benign attribution
o generally leads to pro-relationship behaviour
. Either by:
forgoing behaviours that are desirable,
enacting behaviours others would find desirable, or both
again driven by commitment above all else leads to benefit the relationship long-term
FORGIVENESS OF BETRAYAL (or violation of an implicit or explicit relationship-specific norm):
The desire to forego retribution and acting in less judgmental constructive way.
Commitment results in a greater tendency to forgive, even when controlling for recency and severity of betrayal
Acts/symbols of commitment (e.g. wedding ring) indicate to others not on offer
may also derogate alternatives (minimise alternative partners attributes and abilities).
committed people do this more
o committed people also spend less time attending to tempting alternatives
o these tactics are motivated in the face of threat. The more tempting the alternative, the greater the derogation for committed individuals
POSITIVE ILLUSION: Developing idealised beliefs about partner and relationship
– sustained ideas of the partner as very positive: Turning faults into virtues
– perceived superiority (social comparison): Higher on superiority, greater number of positive thoughts and less negative thoughts about relationship
EXCESSIVE OPTIMISM: The relationship is doing better than most
– unrealistic perceptions of control: More control over relationships than others
COGNITIVE INTERDEPENDENCE: Movement from viewing the self as a collective representation of partner-and-self, rather than just individual-based
– committed individuals talk more in terms of "we" and "ours" rather than
less committed individuals who talk more in terms of "I" and "mine"
– assumed that this collective view promotes pro-relationship behaviour
– cognitive interdependence likely to be associated with MaxJoint transformation
comparison level for alternatives
dependence level
satisfaction level
The features are formalized in a taxonomy of situations, which are degree of dependence, mutuality of dependence, covariation of interest, basis of dependence, temporal structure, and information availability
The situation may activate particular motives, cognitive, and affective experiences in persons A and B, which ultimately through their mutual responses in behavior yield a particular pattern of interaction.
These adaptations are probabilistic and reflect
(a) differences in orientation between people across partners and situations (dispositions),
(b) orientations that people adopt to a specific interaction partner (relationship-specific orientations), and
(c) rule-based inclinations that are shared by many people within a culture to respond to a particular classes of situation in a specific manner (social norms).
The degree of independence
Dependence affords thoughts and motives centering on comfort versus discomfort with dependence and independence.
For example, high dependence situations will activate Mary's trait-based reluctance to rely on others, her discomfort with dependence will strongly shape her behavior, and her discomfort will be particularly evident to others; in low dependence situations, this trait will be less visible and less relevant for her behavior.
we need them to ensure we care about ourselves and others
From an evolutionary standpoint:
− jealousy has a mate-guarding function
− anger signals needs and desire have been blocked and motivates
an attack to remove the block
Problems occur when cultural/relationship norms limit the expression of certain emotions
motivational congruence (is it harmful or helpful to me?)
If the event is relevant to our goals and plans the emotion system will activate, arousing and motivating us to take action.
As a couple becomes more interdependent they are increasingly vulnerable to interruption.
The more enmeshed a couple is the less interruption, and consequently emotion, they may experience on a daily basis.
This will lead to less negative emotion but to increase positive emotion engineered interruptions that remove obstacles to partner goals or facilitate their completion can foster positive emotions
perceived cause
perceived controllability
lack of caring
relationship devaluing (cry and withdraw)
low in control
perceived loss
seek comfort
people become more expansive and engage with the world and those around them
motivates people to further engage
positive emotions help to build intellectual, psychological and physical resources which strengthen social relationships
o problem-solving skills; strength and solidarity
positive emotions help to facilitate recovery from stressful events
happy relationships are associated with the expression of more positive than negative emotions – the ratio of positive to negative emotions expressed is 5:1
o happy couples seem to be skilled at de-escalating situations that can result in the expression of negative emotions
happy couples foster a culture of appreciation
happy couples share positive emotions with one another and enjoy enhancing each other's experiences of happiness
2. communicate how much we care about own needs to oneself and others
3. relationships can be distinguished by the extent that people feel responsible for their partner's needs and thus, they're emotional well-
4. relationships can be distinguished by the extent that people think others are responsible for their needs and thus, they're emotional well- being (e.g., attachment avoidance mental model relates to the extent others care)
The degree to which we think others will respond to our needs and the degree that we feel responsible for other's needs will lead to greater emotional expression
o thus, benefits are provided to meet partner needs or to express concern
o the caregiver does not expect anything in return
EXCHANGE: No responsibility for another's welfare, but rather benefits are provided and received on the expectation of being repaid. These relationships are low on communal orientation and thus are non- communal
– repaying someone for something they did reduces positivity toward another in communal, but not exchange relationships
– in contrast, people who are exchange minded will look after the welfare of another if they expect reciprocation
– expression of emotions should be more frequent (and more functional) in communal than non-communal (i.e., exchange relationships)
relates to greater tendency to feel responsible for others needs
o helping fellow students in non-emergency situations
o agreement that support has taken place amongst friends
o willingness to express emotions to partners when context calls for it
o allocating rewards equally to friends
o giving credit as well as taking blame on joint tasks
relates to tendency to want reciprocity and equity
o marital satisfaction tied to equity
lower marital satisfaction
o lower compatibility with peers
o lower friendship ratings
o higher anxiety amongst friendship pairs
Generally, people seem to:
– suppress negative emotions in low communal relationships
– more willing to express positive emotions in communal relationships
– express more emotions when feel that people should be concerned about each others needs
– more communal
more emotional expression
• Studies demonstrate that emotions are more likely to be responded to in communal relationships
Generally, people seem to:
– express emotions more frequently and intensely in communal relationships due to the regularity with which their needs will be met (i.e., the caregiver/"other" reacts to the emotion in a validating way)
– exchange relationships are based more on an economic transactional basis, thus emotions are not so central
– in exchange relationships, concern in meeting other's needs is not a priority
– thus, one can become an exploited target as emotions communicate one's needs and vulnerabilities
– consequently, people can take advantage of one's weaknesses
– regardless of relationship or individual factors, people generally know not to express too much in non-communal relationships
– too much expression in non-communal relationships is judged as inappropriate and the person is unlikely to have their needs met
– it is judged as inappropriate and the personal is unlikely to have their needs met
• Feeling and expressing emotions in turn communicates to the needy partner the care and concern of the caregiver
– …this strengthen relationships
– companionate love: Less intense in emotion, but combines feelings of affection and deep attachment while maintaining a deep sense of care and concern for another
– falling in love facilitates self-expansion as developing a relationship with another brings forth new experiences and changes in the self- concept
– self-concept can take on a dyadic aspect, people in relationship begin to talk in terms of the "we" rather than "I"
– Linda Acitelli (2002) calls this "relationship talk" – an awareness that our sense of self is tied in relational terms
– release of neurotransmitters associated with pleasure (dopamine and oxytocin – trigger happiness, euphoria and sexual arousal)
– release of neurotransmitters associated with stress (cortisol – associated with fight and flight responses)
– cross-sectional and longitudinal research supports this model.
Greater mutual disclosure and responsiveness is associated with:
o greater closeness
o greater intimacy
o greater satisfaction
No relationship lasts for long, usually ending when the partner becomes boring or too serious
Explained by anxious attachment
explained by avoidant attachment style
explained by secure attachment
various combinations lead to 8 love types
no love, infatuation, empty love, liking, fatuous love, romantic love, companionate love, consummate love
Three interlocking components:
Person A
Person B
engaging in a behaviour
founded on a coordinated system of behaviour and outcomes in the past
– dependability: being able to rely on the partner for love and support during challenging times
– look for cues of rejection and acceptance
– create situations to test a partner's love and commitment
– experience greater emotional highs and lows
– optimistic and benevolent expectations of partner motives
– more positive attributions regarding partner's behaviour
– well-balanced and integrative perception of partner
– downplay minor partner transgressions
– during conflict, display more PA and less NA
Strength of attraction and strength of barriers preventing leaving a relationship determine commitment. (Model wasn't prominent – no measure)
o attraction factors: Companionship, sexual enjoyments, socioeconomic rewards, similar social status…
o barriers: Obligation, external social pressures (i.e., divorce stigma), financial constraints, family constraints…
i. personal commitment – positive attraction to a partner and relationship
ii. moral commitment – a sense of duty, obligation or responsibility based on a person's values and morals
iii. structural commitment – factors that make it costly to leave the relationship, e.g., financial loss, filial loss, lack of alternatives
Commitment comprises:
dedication – forces that motivate a person to build and maintain the relationship – interpersonal commitment
constraint – forces that hold the person in the relationship even if satisfaction and dedication wane
perceived constraint – internal/external forces that encourage partners to stay together (e.g., social pressure, quality of life)
material constraint – investment of tangible resources
felt constraint – personal appraisal of how investments and barriers to leaving affect whether relationship continues
people generally report personal commitment to be higher than moral and structural commitment
Commitment also seems to be strongly linked to relationship satisfaction and stability to support the general assumption
Secure base – encouraging autonomy and expressing confidence in one's abilities, best appreciated when one needs to confidently pursue goals
may put the other in a one-down situation (negative effect disappears if the support is reciprocated),
support may refocus attention on the problem (increase rumination and distress)
(a) support is provided and
(b) the extent to which a partner is ready for change,
influences the effectiveness of social support with an emphasis on social control.
Accurate assessment of readiness to change is associated with positive behaviour change.
The giver knows when to provide the control and can tailor the support to match the partner.
Expression of secondary emotions are often distancing for the support giver and they may respond in an invalidating way.
This can intensify emotions for the support seeker
The more empathic accuracy a person has the more responsive they are likely to be.
Empathic accuracy is associated with provision of instrumental support and less negative behaviour
a. The message needs to be of high emotional quality (high person-centred). Acknowledge and legitimize the receipients feelings and perspective, but also encourage them to explore and make sense of their emotions
b. The receiver must engage in substantial cognitive processing of the message for it to have a lasting effect. If the receipient is not motivated to carefully process the message then it will have little effect.
relationship satisfaction
perceived as being available
acknowledged as received
increased relationship quality
moderated by responsiveness (understanding, validation and caring)
• Often this type of support can be of benefit when a relationship partner is engaging in unhealthy behaviour, or behaviour that endangers one's wellbeing
• The aim of providing such support is to yield behaviour change in the partner (i.e., "social control")
− but this form of help is not always welcomed or helpful
The effectiveness of social control is determined by accurately assessing if the partner is ready for change and tactics – reinforcing and direct
The more accurately the support giver understands the support seekers internal state the more responsive the giver is likely to be
Research suggests empathic accuracy seems associated with the provision of instrumental support (information, doing a favour, loaning money) and less negative behaviour displayed by support seeking in couple interactions
— empathic accuracy did not predict level of emotional support provided; this was predicted by the emotional response of the support seeker
— the provision of emotional support may be more driven by the givers own emotional reactions to the support seekers distress rather than accurately inferring content of thoughts and feelings
− responsive support
− providing support in a way that doesn't challenge or hurt the person's competence/self-esteem
− providing advice when the partner is ready to hear it
− support seekers should express their emotions as accurately as possible
• Therapy also requires couple activities that help to build partners skills in these areas
− communication and support exchange exercises
− activities that deliver support in different ways
− teaching people skills in regulating emotions
— the emotions experienced by the support seeker intensify
— cycle of mutual invalidation is perpetuated
Dissatisfied partners interpret comments as intentionally hurtful, wounded feelings leak out through non-verbal behaviour, becoming absorbed in one's own anger and hurt makes it difficult to accept attempts at repair when one apologises.
Associated with poorer conflict resolution and reduced satisfaction over time.
If men are more demanding it increases relationship satisfaction.
Even when positive behaviour is shown it is discounted as an anomaly.
Negative attitudes about a partner are central to the use of negative reciprocity.
There are individual differences eg. attachment
whether the response is active or passive
Voice – constructive and active to improve conditions, discussing problems and suggesting solutions, and engaging in efforts to alter problematic self or partner behaviour
Loyalty – constructive and passive, waiting and hoping for improvement, forgiving and forgetting partner offences and supporting and maintaining faith in the partner in the face of hurtful actions
Neglect – passive destructive responses, allowing the relationship to deteriorate by ignoring or spending less time with the partner, avoiding discussing any problems and criticizing the partner regarding unrelated issues
scores on all response patterns yield an accommodation score
• Self protection – protect self by reducing closeness and value of the relationship (exit and neglect)
• Relationship promotion – defend relationship and increase closeness by affirming value of relationship and accommodating (voice and loyalty)
outcomes and impacting factors:
• Relationship wellbeing – satisfaction, trust, and commitment of both partners
• Rejection expectancies – expect rejection versus trust in partner's continued regard
Exit is an active strategy like voice and can be used as a means of actively addressing and attempting to solve a problem (criticism, hostility, blame).
An active strategy does communicate issues in a direct and clear way so people know where they stand.
Also when pressures come from within the relationship and the problems are serious
These approaches yield less effective problem solving.
− declines in relationship satisfaction
− increased risk of break-up
− greater depression
− poorer health
good communication is about compromise, restraint, and accommodation
Hard to do
risky if partner doesn't reciprocate or continues to behave negatively
relationship issues are perceived as more serious (or that there is more of them)
partners are more likely to be blamed for issues
people are less able to regulate their stress
spillover into negative partner interactions. This is especially the case if the person has greater vulnerabilities
Due to the rarity of measuring this objectively, people base:
– cognitions
– feelings, and
– behaviours in those of others
This need is heightened in times of uncertainty or distress.
Downward comparison is a distress-regulation tool, used when there are no specific targets of comparison or we don't identify with the comparison target. (not proved)
less competent others (downward comparison) or similar others (lateral comparison).
This leads to uncertainty.
egalitarian women were more dissatisfied and engaged in more social comparison than traditional women
o also found egalitarian women seem to have a greater desire for social comparison – vis-à-vis false consensus effect, by overestimating the number of women in same situation
Positive emotions will also result if you compare yourself with a relationship worse than yours and you contrast yours with the target.
Negative emotions result from identifying with a downward comparison and contrasting with an upward comparison.
Couples hold a greater number of positive beliefs about their own and a greater number of negative beliefs about other's relationships.
Couple rate their partner's interpersonal skills qualities than the typical partner's qualities.
Married couples believe their marriage is more satisfying, believe they are above average as a spouse, believe they are less likely to divorce and think their relationship has a better future than that of others.
People who felt boosted by sharing their partner's success were less likely to distance themselves following an upward comparison.
People who felt concern and empathy for their partner's failure were likely to help the partner following a downward comparison.
When outcomes are shared it appears that people respond in functional ways to comparisons by focusing on protecting the relationship rather than protecting the self.
• According to Tesser's (1988) self-evaluation model, people avoid this by downplaying their similarity with another person or withdraw from the relationship
– the most dissatisfied generally preferred comparing to someone similar
o because we can identify with them and believe on some level as us, and they have the same characteristics and properties as us
– it seems when things are threatening we want to find out what makes others' relationships better.
o that way we feel that we can find out how we can make our relationships better, particularly if we share the same qualities as others
– findings support Schachter's (1959) original social comparison theory and does not support Willis' (1981, 1987) downward comparison theory
o that is, we tend to seek out people who are similar to us when in
contrasts – how do you compare to others
Identification – do you see yourself as similar or do you hope to be similar
– couples with low marital quality when confronted with a comparison couple of low quality but involving high effort increases the couple's sense of relationship quality
• SCO seems correlated with neuroticism, low self-esteem, high anxious attachment, self-consciousness and high communal and exchange orientation
2. biased memory for negative information about other's relationships and positive information about own
3. attributions regarding conflict are associated with stable characteristics of relationship in other couples, but to transient issues in own
4. high salience for intimacy and uniqueness in one's own relationship
• Downward comparison is a distress-regulation tool
– selectively focusing on attribute that make them appear advantaged (dimensional comparison)
– creating hypothetical world's by comparing one's current situation against what might have been
downward comparisons of partner or relationship increase relationship quality. BUT only for those high on SCO
SCO mediated the effect
These are known as decision rules and are not static but designed to be open and flexible to relevant environmental stimuli.
Aggression is expressed to the extent it is adaptive, to maximize resources and competitiveness relative to others and thus reproductive success.
Does not mean aggressive behaviour is justified or inevitable.
Evidence – occurs in all cutures, aggression related emotions are universal and evident in infants, more children have shown aggression by age 2, neural circuits are designed to orchestrate effective attack.
evolved mechanisms,
calibration mechanisms
activation (leading to the behaviour)
May have heuristics like 1. When threatened identify the source of the threat and 2. Cause losses or harm to those responsible.
Research with children suggests this type of rule
Sources of social learning: media violence, direct exposure to family violence
Moderators of aggression: individuals' cognitions and perceived norms, cultural norms
ii. Content situations likely to elicit aggression
iii. Moderators – individuals cognitions and perceived norms
iv. Moderators – cultural norms
v. Moderators – situational factors
a. Additional cognitive effort is required to tag violence as fictional
b. Context affects outcomes, aggression more likely if:
i. Violence is judged more real and relevant
ii. Greater duration desensitizes
iii. The perpetrator is more similar to the viewer
iv. The perpetrator is more attractive
v. The perpetrator has a good or heroic nature
vi. There is justification for or social acceptance of the violence
1. Socially unjustified violence may cause a decrease in viewers aggression
a. Children's aggressive tendencies towards peers
b. Adult aggressive behaviour, including partner and child abuse
c. Viewing is sufficient
Exposure to family violence is related to aggressive tendencies
a. Observed aggression leads to more positive than negative consequences
b. Lack of opportunities to observe constructive conflict resolution strategies
social modules
physical modules
individual development histories
situational variables
Intention to cause harm
Aversive consequences (negative outcome) occurs
Victim is a living being
Victim motivated to avoid harm
So excludes accidents, dental work, assertiveness, includes insults & gossip (verbal behaviour)
Pushing a button supposedly to deliver an electric shock to someone (deception)
Self-reports & self-ratings using rating scales
Verbal expressions of willingness to use violence
Don't measure intention
Don't necessarily measure actual behaviour
Not necessarily directed against living being
Aggression as one of a number of tactics of influence (Raven, 1999), leading to a goal
Similar to concept of instrumental (learned, conscious) aggression, vs hostile (impulsive, emotional) aggression
Imbedded in nature of social relationships
Positive consequences: obtaining desired objects, positive self- evaluations, favourable social reactions from others (e.g., status, control & dominance over others)
Negative consequences: physical punishment, social disapproval, harm or injury to others, disruption of social relationships
Reinforcement makes behaviour less or more likely
Aggressive children more likely to predict that aggressive acts will result in tangible rewards & increased status among peers, & that such acts more likely to stop others behaving aversively towards them
Recurrent aggressive behaviour in adolescents correlated with lower expectations of negative consequences for it (e.g., Guerra, 1989)
altering perceptions of aggressive behaviour
misrepresenting effect of the aggressive act
altering perceptions of the victim
Correlations between aggressive beliefs & behaviour
Transformation of aggression via moral justifications more likely if supported by social norms
Once norms have emerged they may be transmitted & maintained across generations even if environment no longer same as that leading to their development
Physical pain
Aspects of the physical environment can increase tendency to aggress, e.g.,
Overcrowding (especially when mixed with alcohol)
Air pollution
To co-opt resources from others To defend against insult To inflict costs on competitors To gain status & power To discourage competitors from using aggressive tactics
To deter long-term mates from sexual infidelity
To reduce the resources expended on unrelated offspring
Contextual cues inherent to these type of interpersonal conflicts may prime psychological mechanisms
Implies role of social learning
Weapon priming effect: presence or pictures of common weapons (e.g., guns, knives) prime aggressive related thoughts, increasing aggressive responding in the lab & the real world
However, provocation is also a necessary precursor of effect
Content situations likely to elicit aggressive tactics
Situational variables modifying (moderating) the function of mechanisms
Alternative influence tactics
Sources of social learning: media violence, direct exposure to family violence
Moderators of aggression: individuals' cognitions & perceived norms, cultural norms
It can be from individual to groups (self-ostracism) or groups to individual (classic ostracism).
Related concepts include rejection, marginalization, and social inclusion.
While ostracism, rejection, and social exclusion can be distinguished by definition research shows they lead to similar conclusion so often the terms are used interchangeably.
life alone,
get acquainted,
paradigms manipulating rejection/ostracism.
Detection of pain motivates attention and cognitive appraisal
Fortifying belonging/self-esteem leads to social susceptibility (sensitivity) and prosocial reactions
Fortifying efficacy/control or existence/recognition leads to controlling, provocative or antisocial reactions
ostracism is adaptive for groups because it eliminates burdensome members and maintains their cohesion and strength
Individuals who ostracise feel more powerful & perceive themselves to have higher levels of control over relationship
Ostracism signals danger
Ostracism is therefore reflexively detected as pain
• Social ostracism: ignored & excluded in the presence of others
• Cyber ostracism: ostracism through media other than face-to face
– When recognition & communication is anticipated within an acceptable time frame, but doesn't occur
– Belonging
– Self-esteem
– Control
– Recognition/meaningful existence
• Arouses negative emotions
– Sadness
– Anger
• More (longer) ostracism produces more distress
– The target's personality &/or attributions, or
– The social/situational context
• Response not moderated by individual differences, including
– Loneliness
– Extraversion/introversion
– Collectivism/individualism
– Self-esteem
– Narcissism
– Social phobia
– Rejection sensitivity
– Need for belonging
– Attachmentstyle
• Individual differences & social factors play a role in reflective stage, influencing the speed of coping & the coping path
– One that fortifies efficacy/control & existence/recognition
– Prosocial: general aim is to be attractive enough to be included by others, by doing things that will meet with approval, &/or social susceptibility
– Antisocial: general aim is to provoke attention & to use aggression to exert control
trait self-esteem
social anxiety
– Have hostile intention towards those they believe did or could reject them (e.g., in pleasant interactions ending mysteriously)
– High-RS men more likely to have propensity for violence when strongly invested in a romantic relationship
– Following higher reports of rejection, high RS individuals report more relational conflicts
– Avoid interactions where rejection is possible (unless v. invested in relationship) – so less chance to practise appropriate behaviour, so more hostile when actually interact
– Women more likely to socially compensate (work harder on group'scollective tasks than on coactive tasks), men socially loaf (as did after inclusion)
– Easterners just as hurt by rejection, but only derogatory about rejector on warmth dimensions
– All feel SE threat after silent treatment, but those low in SE more likely to reciprocate with silence
– Impact on state SE of rejection greater in those lower in trait SE
– After rejection, low SE individuals need more time to recover from threat, & persist less on hard task, while high SE individuals persist
– They conform more, even to unanimously incorrect others
– More attracted to new groups, even illegitimate ones
– More likely to mimic a good organisational citizen
– More likely to engage in unconscious mimicry, especially with ingroup members
– More socially attentive
– More susceptible to compliance tactics
– Approval seeking
– The vast literature on the effectiveness of 'time-out' disciplinary procedures
• Might be adaptive – give feedback on behaviour to change – but may not be in own best interest – may become more gullible/susceptible
• Increased derogation of ostraciser
• Increases antisocial behaviours including to those not ostracising
• "Precipitated" 13/15 incidents of US school shootings
• Can lead to generalised aggression against similar group members to those who did ostracism – mass violence
• Replenishing sense of belonging reduces negative & aggressive consequences
• Reduces self-regulation & complex thought
• Causes self-defeating behaviour
– Control & meaningful existence need threats motivate aggressive & provocative responses – get control & demand attention from others
– Depression
– Accept alienation, isolation, low self-worth & depression, helplessness, avoided further rejection
• May be more likely to emerge with life alone paradigm – appears to produce more depression like symptoms
Dominant emotions in a memory were rated as highly intense and non-dominant emotions as far less intense.
Secure people acknowledge distress while controlling the spread to other emotions
Both dominant and non-dominate emotions are rated as highly intense, they seem unable or unwilling to limit the spread of distress to other emotions.
Avoidant persons inhibit the processing of negative memories and the spreading of the dominant emotional tone
emotion focused
distance coping
support seeking
Cognitive strategies aimed at understanding and alleviating stress are used.
Examples are preoccupation, self-criticism, mental rumination, affect amplification, overt displays of distress and wishful thinking.
Cognitive manoeuvres are used to prevent the intrusion of threatening thoughts into consciousness, such as suppression of painful emotions and memories.
Behavioural disengagement can be used by either withdrawing problem-focused efforts or using drugs or alcohol.
These strategies may initially have beneficial adaptive outcomes, in the long run they are detrimental.
the seeking of love, reassurance and affection;
the search for information, advice and feedback;
and the seeking of material aid and resources.
There is extensive evidence on the positive adaptive outcomes of support seeking.
For severe or chronic stress these strategies break down and they more resemble attachment anxiety.
when the stressor is shared by others they may use excessive support seeking strategies.
They are reluctant to use support seeking from the fear that others will see them as less capable.
They are flexible in their coping style under severe and stressful events, they have been shown to use distance coping in this situation.
conduct disorder and criminality;
substance use
Avoidant individual's distrust and hostility can interfere with the acceptance of social norms and constraints.
They must remain vigilant to threat and their core beliefs heighten their fearful reactions and lead to escape and avoidance componants of anxiety disorders.
Preoccupied mind and attachment anxiety have been associated over 100 times with depression and anxiety.
The fearful avoidance aspect of attachment anxiety is what has been linked to depression and anxiety vulnerability.
• Negative relationships are thought to diminish people's capacities to cope with the world and result in mental health problems
– attachment relationships fulfill our basic needs for love, comfort, care and security
– attachment figures "broaden and build" needy others by acting as a secure base
– our ability to cope with distress
– our ability to regulate our emotions
– our ability to deal with grief and loss
attachment theory is seen as a theory of more than just human bonding, but one of coping, distress and emotion regulation.
attachment deactivation: Following the distressful event – relief, positive affect (e.g., happy), gratitude towards another.
o however ,if an individuals does not have their needs consistently met, then chronic deactivation is regarded as maladaptive.
constructive dealing of problems
– inept (inconsistent responsiveness)
more feelings of anxiety and
anger and greater distress
hyperactivating coping strategies
– consistent unresponsiveness
initial anger and anxiety, followed by consistent attempts to suppress these emotions deactivating coping strategies
– anxious people's hyperactivating strategies intensify anger and reduce ability to control anger
cognitive distancing
used by avoidant
Problem focused coping
used by secure and avoidant
wishful thinking
used by anxiety
Avoidance – Hostility, distrust of others, reduced amenability to socialisation and internalisation of norms
Avoidance – avoid painful memories and self-awareness
dependent PD
paranoid PD
suicidal thoughts
schizotypal PD
dissociative disorder
specific expectations about the functioning of a particular relationship
Ideals – what we wish would occur
Partner's beliefs may affect how they interpret specific experiences in the relationship.
According to Karney et al., a key issue is the consistency between experiences and expectations.
Experiences that are consistent with relationship functioning beliefs are more easily endorsed, as little cognitive effort is required to maintain the consistency, compared to inconsistencies.
The greater the discrepancy between experience and values, the greater the dissatisfaction if experiences fall short of values.
2. Accessibility (the extent to which we can retrieve certain forms of relationship-relevant information).
2. Integration – degree and quality of connections amongst these pieces of information.
The more complex and integrated information is, the greater the capacity for flexibility in assimilating information about the relationship
• Cognitive complexity seems to be associated with more flexible and adaptive problem-solving behaviours, and possibly higher satisfaction. However, this seems to be moderated by satisfaction/distress
• It is thought that the more accessible a cognition is, the more stable it is likely to be due to the frequency with which it being primed and accessed.
• Highly accessible cognitions should affect interpretations of specific relationship experiences, increasing the likelihood that new information will be assimilated into these highly accessible knowledge structures.
• In contrast, relatively inaccessible cognitions are less likely to influence the interpretation of information and thus are thought to be less stable over time.
• So accessibility of certain mental schema should moderate the impact of the cognition on the interpretation of certain experiences
Accuracy and verification
Selective attention
Temporal comparison
Social comparison
So there is a desire to acquire accurate information about the relationship irrespective of whether its positive or negative
However, Swann and colleagues have shown that people feel closer to their partners if their partners view them as they view themselves, but reject information that is inconsistent with their views of their partners.
The desire for accurate information may vary as a function of the stage or phase of the relationship, and as a diagnostic tool.
good investment
2. Explanation: Better understanding of what is happening in the relationship (cause and effect, attribution).
3. Regulation: Control and adjust one's relationship or partner.
o positive direct strategies like using logic and explaining reasons yield change in partner's behaviour but with less negative outcomes for relationship
o indirect positive strategies (e.g., highlight good points of your partner while discussing things that might like changed) are perceived as successful but do not produce change over time
• Social knowledge is stored as mental structures termed schemas.
– i.e., mental representations of the social world that guide our emotions and behaviours.
• Schemas can be activated on a conscious and unconscious level.
That is, the effect that an IV has on a DV is strengthened as a function of the second IV.
(2) Safe Haven – the attachment figure is regarded as a sanctuary.
(3) Secure Base – the attachment figure may act as a secure foundation from which a child can explore his or her environment and engage in non- attachment behaviour.
(2) harboured within the central nervous system, the attachment system acts as a homeostatic mechanism governed by the motivation to feel secure during times of ill-health, anxiety or threat, and as a consequence, leads to the maintenance of proximity or ready accessibility of an attachment figure
– anxious infants: display contact seeking behaviour interspersed with angry resistance, not easily comforted during stress (approx. 20%-30%)
– avoidant infants: actively avoid contact with caregiver when distressed (approx. 10%-20%)
– anxious mothers: inconsistent and inept dealing with infants' signals
– avoidant mothers: exhibited cold and rejecting tendencies towards infants
– other: evaluation of whether the attachment figure is a reliable, responsive, trusting caregiver
– people hold either positive or negative views of self and other
dynamic – can change over the lifespan
– Anxious individuals: reported being preoccupied with the need to merge with another person.
– Avoidant individuals: reported their romantic relationships as involving a fear of closeness and a lack of trust.
– seek proximity and closeness
a function of attraction
– normative stress and anxiety
a function of not sure what future holds
• Behaviours associated with secure attachment (i.e., security-based strategies) assist in managing threat in flirtatious encounters; individuals are optimistic
– yields a positive tone to the encounters/ savour experiences
– promote further interaction
• The behaviours of anxiously attached (i.e., hyperactivating strategies)
can make early encounters tense/distressing early break-up
– seem needy, hungry for affection
– exaggerate and/or ruminate over real/imagined signs of rejection
• The behaviours of avoidantly attached (i.e., deactivation strategies) can also short-circuit a relationship in early stages
– emotionally detached, initially rejecting (defensive strategy), purely sexual
– relationship seems shallow and lacking excitement
• Anxiously attached:
Emphasise the self as weak/helpless, needy
– A means to solicit sympathy and compassion
• Avoidantly attached: Present one's strengths and attempt to inflate their self-image in the eyes of a partner (even at the expense of diminishing another
– To validate one's self-reliance and maintain emotional distance
• Securely attached: Show little signs of the presentation tactics used by insecurely attached individuals
– Present oneself with greater authenticity
• Inhibition of self-disclosure can hinder an early relationship to transition into a longer and more committed relationship
• Anxiously attached: High self-disclosure; disclose too early, indiscriminately, and don't draw on partner's self-disclosure in own disclosure
– Risk seeming needy and intimacy won't be reciprocated
• Avoidantly attached: Low self-disclosure
– To validate one's self-reliance and maintain emotional distance
• Securely attached: Responsive self-disclosure
– Will self-disclosure in proportion to the relationship partner
• Insecurely attached individuals (anxious and avoidant): Goals emphasise emotional distance (a need to be too close or too far); relationship beliefs are -vely biased (either place little value on relationships, or are overwhelmingly concerned with them)
– these goals and beliefs inhibit committing and constructively working towards a long term relationship
negative views/perceptions about romantic partners:
– unsupportive
– distrusting
– attribute -ve partner behaviour to stable ,global aspects of the partner
Individuals receiving active, constructive capitalization from their significant others reported greater relationship satisfaction.
-Power exists in relationships
-Power usually represents a struggle over resourses
-Person with less to lose has the greater power
– Power can enable/disable
-Power is a prerogative
Gaining assistance
Sharing activites
Initiating sexual activity
Changing political attitudes
Giving health advice
Changing Relationships
aversive stimulation
moral appeals
distributive communication
visual dominance ratio
higher class
2) Social
3) Opportunity
4) Instumental
2) Max. rewards – Min. costs
3) Self-interests – interdependence
– Value relationships based on high rewards and low costs
2) Uncommitted and satisfying +CL +AL
3) Committed and dissatisfying -CL +AL
4) Uncommitted and dissatisfying -CL -AL
Satisfaction = comparison level
Extrinsic – Developed over time
1) Neglect (destructive)
2) Exit (destructive)
3) Voice (constructive)
4) Loyalty (constructive)
2) derogating alternatives
3) being willing to make sacrifices
4) perceiving relationship superiority
5) Tendency to accommodate
-Internal psychological barriers
-External structural barriers
– culture – personality – the relationship – biological sex – motivations
2) Cooperation is often required for successful management
3) Co-owners of info often undergo boundary turbulence
– Individualist cultures = generally put individuals over than the entire community
– Direct invasion: overt
– students are more likely to have a private profile if:
1) their friends & roommates do
2) very active on FB
3) Female
– fever model of self-discloser: people who are worried about it are more likely to disclose it