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Thanks to the ingenuity of two local entrepreneurs, we may soon be able to hail a taxi, track its arrival and pay our fare – all using our mobile phone.
But thanks to government's apparently insatiable need to interfere with private enterprise, the Flex app falls far short of owners Rachel Smyth and Alex Cowan's original vision, which was to create "Uber in Cayman."
Rarely have we seen a more clear-cut case of government regulation and protectionism aimed so obviously at a single startup business – one which would clearly benefit the people who live on and visit our island.
Ms. Smyth and Mr. Cowan's original business model would have engaged non-professional drivers (properly vetted and qualified) to offer rides to customers for a fee, bringing much-needed competition to the industry, to the benefit of consumers and Caymanian drivers eager to boost their earnings.
Instead, in response to officials' concerns about possible negative impacts to the taxi industry, only the relatively few drivers licensed through the Public Transport Board will be allowed to pick up Flex passengers. Call it "Uber-lite."
The watered-down "compromise" solution will bring some convenience and help standardize fares, but Ms. Smyth and Mr. Cowen had it right at the first draft. Their original idea would have broadened income opportunities for Caymanians, resulted in more competitive fares and greater convenience for riders. All government would have had to do was sit in the backseat and watch.
Ours is not the only jurisdiction where special interest groups, specifically taxicab drivers, their unions and associations, have tried to stop the natural tech-fueled evolution of this industry. Make no mistake, that is exactly what is happening in this instance.
Any legitimate concerns about safety or driver qualifications are easily addressed. Uber, for example, requires its driver-partners to meet age, experience and vehicle requirements, and to provide proof of a valid driver's license, vehicle registration and insurance. Drivers in certain cities may have to meet additional conditions.
In fact, the driver-partner model increases safety by making it easier, and more affordable, to hail a ride when one is too tired or impaired to sit safely behind the wheel. Drivers would be freed from the need to carry large amounts of cash and its concomitant risk of crime. To limit the pool of Flex drivers to current licensed taxi drivers is not only counterproductive, it is foolhardy. (Cayman's taxi drivers are not world-famous for their safe driving skills. And now they are a protected group?)
What's worse, government's interference may well torpedo the entire enterprise. Flex's founders told the Compass the company is having some difficulty signing up the 20 or more drivers they will need to properly pilot the service in George Town and along Seven Mile Beach.
We have no doubt that Flex would have no trouble recruiting more than enough safe, qualified partner-drivers to launch the pilot, and extend the program islandwide.
As Mr. Cowan told the Compass, "The rest of the world are looking into self-driving cars and we are still using radios and rate sheets. We need to start thinking ahead for the tourism industry. These ride sharing platforms have become worldwide, and tourists are asking why don't we have it and when it is coming."
The answer is as clear as it is disappointing: Rather than support the vision of two born-and-raised Caymanian entrepreneurs and allow licensed drivers the opportunity to earn extra income, government has sided with a narrow special-interest group reluctant to evolve with – and adapt to – the times.
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Throughout the context of a receding selective market, Beauty Success Group set itself broader targets centered on beauty companies to grab progress alternatives. "We consider there's a territory to conquer, which highlights both selective and area of interest manufacturers and meets new client expectations involving highly-personalized, tailored recommendation," Stéphanie Chalard asserts.
Sustained coaching
One could take into consideration a return to the codes of the perfumery commerce, however Stéphanie Chalard prefers to speak about neo-perfumery with a really trendy method. Their factors of sale will lay out an providing combining area of interest and selective merchandise and that includes a high-end salon.
"We contemplate there's a inhabitants that wishes to have entry to a number of the 2 forms of merchandise, however with a extremely specialised service. It's all primarily based on the client relationship. This service will contain sustained coaching for our advisors in regards to the artwork of welcoming clients and attending to know them, not solely via their purchases, but in addition via their very own persona," she provides. The group has additionally been engaged on this method with its accomplice manufacturers. "It's a very talked-about idea amongst manufacturers, as a result of they suppose we revive and construct up an id for the selective community."
A complementary community
At the moment, the household group counts 5 model networks, the flagship channel being the Magnificence Success selective shops – 320 fragrance shops/salons primarily settled in small and medium-sized cities – accomplished with 170 Esthetic Middle salons. The three different manufacturers are making progress: Magnificence Full Days, a brand new technology of magnificence salons, the Parapharmacie Tanguy community and Beauty Sisters for Millennials.
This new idea, whose identify will probably be unveiled when the primary retailer opens in June in Périgueux, completes the cluster of current manufacturers, nevertheless it is not going to rely upon the Magnificence Success model. A second opening ought to be scheduled for early 2019 to arrange a nationwide community primarily settled in large cities in the long term.

subset: commoncrawl


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Image Credit: Centers For Disease Control and Prevention/Wikimedia
Intestinal Worms: The Basics
Parasites are like pirates . . . they will commandeer your pet like pirates take over a ship. You cannot always see parasites but that doesn't mean they do not exist!
Parasites have evolved to leech nutrition from their host while simultaneously trying to evade detection and death by the host. Intestinal worms are a common health concern for many species, canines included. The most common intestinal worms in dogs are: hookworms, roundworms, whipworms, and tapeworms.
Symptoms of intestinal worms:
- Diarrhea, sometimes bloody
- pot-bellied appearance
- Generalized unthriftiness
- Ravenous appetite
- Malnutrition
- Occasional vomiting
- Scooting rear on the ground
- Coughing
Severe infestations can lead to anemia, intestinal blockages, emaciation and death.
Your dog can acquire worms throughout a lifetime in a few common ways. With treatment like Drontal Allwormer that exists, hopefully, your dog doesn't have to suffer from this for too long. Young puppies with worms are either born already infested with worms or get them shortly after birth. Larval worms can pass through the uterus to the fetuses during gestation, or through the mother's milk to the nursing puppies. Adolescent or adult dogs acquire worms by ingesting eggs in fecal-contaminated environments, by eating infected rodents, or by ingesting fleas that contain the eggs. Even though fleas are tiny and not very visible, the idea of using a dog conditioner after shampooing the coat, buying topical medication or even visiting the vet could help eliminate this issue and therefore won't put the dog at risk of getting worms.
Speaking of fleas, for any pet to have to suffer from this can be very uncomfortable. They become such a nuisance for both the animal and the owner. For some people, it can get to the point where the assistance of a pest control colorado company, for example, might be their last resort. This way, you are able to take control and get your home looking and feeling as good as new.
The worm eggs will hatch inside the dog, then migrate throughout the dog's body and develop through stages, eventually developing into adults. Dogs with adult intestinal worms will shed eggs to the environment through the feces.
Adult worms live in the intestinal tract of dogs and hijack nutrients from their host. Some species of adult worms can grow very large and can occasionally be seen in the feces. Worm eggs cannot be seen with the naked eye. A microscopic exam of the feces performed by a veterinarian can help diagnose intestinal parasites, even if your dog does not display other symptoms of worms. This should be done yearly as a part of your dog's routine checkup. Even dogs on monthly heartworm preventatives can still acquire worms and may need additional medication to treat an infestation.
There are a variety of deworming medications available. The type of medication used is based on the type of worms being treated. No one medication works for all worm types. Prescription medication from your vet are usually more effective than over-the-counter medications and can be prescribed best based on the fecal exam results.
I highly recommend monthly heartworm prevention for all at risk dogs. Heartworm medication prevents against heartworm infestation (a different type of parasitic worm), as well as regularly rids dogs of the common intestinal worms. Even after treatment, dogs can easily be reinfested through the routes listed previously. If your dog is not on heartworm prevention, they should still be regularly dewormed every few months for preventative care.
Do not begin any new medications or heartworm preventatives in your dog without first discussing it with your regular veterinarian.
Some intestinal worms of dogs can infect humans! Discuss this topic further with both your regular veterinarian and physician.
Amanda Burow, D.V.M. (Dr. B), is a graduate of Iowa State University's College of Veterinary Medicine. Dr. Burow's patient list includes hunting dogs of all varieties, as well as several field trial dogs and full time sporting guide dogs. In addition to practicing general veterinary medicine, she has special interest in the areas of preventive care, emergency medicine, and dermatology. In her spare time, she enjoys being outdoors and on the lake, staying active, reading, and spending time with family and friends.
Mud River is proud to share these tips from Dr. B with our customers. Keep in mind it is best to work with your local veterinarian to determine the needs for your animals.


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Gather: 9:30 a.m.
Classes begin: 9:45 a.m.
Holy Troublemakers: an open circle discussion
Every Sunday • Conference Room
Led by participants
Drop in to explore lectionary readings, faith journeys and living out the Gospel through social justice work, prayer and meditation, and community.
Every Sunday. Drop-ins welcome. Meet in downstairs conference room.
Bible Study
Every Sunday • 717
Led by participants
Drop in for reading, commentary and discussion of a chapter of scripture to help discern the meaning, value and application of the reading for our everyday thinking and action. Everyone welcome! Every Sunday.
Spiritual Yoga
12 sessions: Sept. 8 – Nov. 24 • Fellowship Hall
Led by Hope Cook and Katie Calkin
Drop in for yoga with scripture and poems. Bring a water bottle, towel to cushion knees, and a yoga mat (we'll have a couple extra). Feel free to bring blocks, strap, or other props. Wear stretchy pants for yoga and church, or bring a change of clothes. Beginners welcome! Physical postures are optional — you are invited to join us and sit in silent meditation.
Listening for God: Godly Play for Adults
6 sessions: Sept. 29 – Nov. 3 • 717
Led by Meg Hines and Sarah Sumners
Using Godly Play as a structure, this meditation group will provide space for adults to give themselves liberty to think and to play, to slow down, to wonder and draw one's own conclusions from the sacred story, to share original artwork, to participate in the mysterious work of God, and to be close to God in the beauty of it all.
For more information about Adult Sunday School offerings, or to suggest a future offering, email Katie Calkin at firstname.lastname@example.com.
Click to learn more about our College-Age and Children/Youth offerings.


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Aventura Olsen 3/4 Sleeve Top - Womens
This brilliant twist on the classic stripe is executed perfectly on this 3/4 sleeve top. With a roll-up tab on the sleeve and scoop neck, this top will match with nearly any bottom in your closet.
• Roll-up tab on sleeve
• Scoop neck
• Classic fit
Fabric & Care:
72% rayon/22% polyester/3% linen/3% spandex jersey. Machine wash.
See Also


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Not far from Kobarid, above the emerald green Soča River, there is a gorge of the Kozjak stream, where the 15-metre-high Kozjak Waterfall particularly stands out. This popular natural sight creates the image of a heavenly corner hidden from the everyday world by tall, dark walls, covered in limestone sediments, just like in the karstic caves.
An arranged footpath will lead you to the waterfall. In some places, it is complemented by small wooden bridges and ends with a terrace with a mystical view of the rocky amphitheatre with a green pool and a white beam of water.
The Kozjak Stream, which springs in several headwater sections high under Krnčica (2,142 m), flows through multiple pools and six waterfalls, of which only two are accessible to visitors: in addition to the Veliki Kozjak (Kozjak Waterfall), there is the slightly lower, 8-metre-high Mali Kozjak waterfall.
The Kozjak Stream with waterfalls is a protected natural treasure. Even though the Kozjak Waterfall is an excellent destination for a walk in the hot summer days, because the steep walls preserve the pleasant coolness and slightly lower temperatures, the pool under the waterfall is not suitable for bathing. Help preserve the original experience of the Kozjak Waterfall for other visitors too and only choose bathing areas next to the Soča, Nadiža and Idrijca rivers for bathing.
How to get to the Kozjak Waterfall? Access is simple and also suitable for families. On your way from Kobarid, in the direction of the Drežnica village, follow the turning for Napoleon's bridge over the Soča River. The Kozjak Waterfall, which is also one of the tourist attractions on the Kobarid Historical Trail, is also accessible from the arranged footpath. You will need a half hour easy walk from the car park to the waterfall.
Entrance point at the waterfall Kozjak is open from 16 May till 31 October.
|from 1 July till 15 August 2020
|8.30 - 20.00
|children (from 7 till 14 years old)
|students, seniors, groups (more than 10 people)
|annual ticket
Got questions regarding this content? Ask them here.
Help others by being the first to add a review.


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Meghan McCain slams a possible Chelsea Clinton run for office: 'What fresh hell am I living in?'
"What fresh hell am I living in?" the daughter of Senator John McCain said.
-- Meghan McCain didn't mince words Thursday when expressing her disdain of a possible run for political office by fellow political offspring Chelsea Clinton.
"What fresh hell am I living in where I am going to have to sit through Chelsea Clinton running for office?" McCain said on Fox News' "Outnumbered," which she co-hosts. "What do I have to do to make a Clinton stop running for office?"
The daughter of Republican senator John McCain was addressing unconfirmed and unsubstantiated reports that the daughter of former President Bill Clinton and former senator and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was eyeing a run for Congress. Clinton has not said she plans to run for office.
McCain, 32, attempted to justify her harsh criticism of Clinton, 37, by claiming she receives preferential treatment by the press.
"It's not that I have a problem -- obviously I can't sit here and be a hypocrite and say if your parents are famous politicians you can't have a career, that's fine," McCain said. "The media gives this grown woman with two children a pass. Every step of the way."
She added, "I have never seen her give a legitimate interview where I thought I gained anything new about her or her family. She's been getting a free pass her entire career and entire life. So if she does end up running for some office one way or the other, are they going to treat her the same way or are they going to ask her real questions, like 'what is your platform?'"
Clinton has not publicly responded to McCain's comments.


text: 1960s 1970s Retro Fabric - Voile - Medallion - Purple - Retro Fabric - 6V220 by Revival Fabrics Qty: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 Price $ 25.00 A voile fabric to sew in to a beautiful lined skirt or blouse Product 6V220 Description: Sold as a 44 inch wide x uncut 2 yard 32 inch fabric remnant Retro voile fabric Cotton blend Lightweight, garment weight. Not stretchy. It has some body. You'll probably need a lining for garments. It's also lightweight curtain weight Print colors: purple, light purple, spring green, white Floral motifs are approximately 6" tall Cost is $25To order:Click Qty 1 for this uncut 2 yard 32 inch fabric remnant 2+ By the Remnant Floral Floral Large Floral Theme Green Large Lightweight Purple retro voile fabric Voile White Share This


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Recruitment #20-004126-0001
|DGS Maryland Capitol Police
|Date Opened
|Filing Deadline
|$43,665.00 - $68,087.00/year (based on qualifications and salary rules)
|Employment Type
|HR Analyst
|Kendra Young
|Work Location
Anne Arundel
Baltimore City
This position is with the Maryland Department of General Services, Maryland Capitol Police, with positions located in Baltimore City and Annapolis, Maryland.
Main Purpose of Job
A Police Officer II is the full performance level of law enforcement work, enforcing laws, rules, and regulations governing the safety and protection of personnel and State property. Police Officers in this classification do not have supervisory responsibility, and will receive general supervision from a Police Officer Supervisor or Police Officer Manager. Employees may be assigned to day, evening, night or rotating shifts which may include holidays and weekends. Employees may be subject to call- in and overtime based on staffing needs, and may be required to work outdoors in all types of weather conditions.
This is an emergency essential classification subject to emergency release procedures. Employees in this classification must be willing and available for duty at such hours, day or night and are required to remain or report for duty at such hours as needed to maintain the continuous operation of this agency.
If you are the selected candidate for this position, you will be required to complete a Pre-Employment Physical, which will assess your ability to safely perform the essential functions of this position.
Duties for the Police Officer II position include, but are not limited to:
- Enforces laws, rules, and regulations governing the protection of personnel and State property.
- Directs vehicular traffic, enforces parking regulations, and investigates accidents, and issues warnings and citations.
- Prepares clear, concise, and accurate incident reports in accordance with agency directives and standard operating procedures.
- Investigates criminal acts to resolve and/or prosecute criminal activity. Makes arrests and testifies in court.
- Renders emergency and/or first aid to sick or injured persons. Stabilizes injured persons prior to ambulance response.
- Responds to disturbances, emergencies, suspicious persons, and suspicious activities.
- Other functions may be required that enable this agency to fulfill its overall governmental mission to provide law enforcement and physical security to the Department of General Services owned and managed properties.
Education: High School diploma or G.E.D. certificate acceptable to the Maryland State Board of Education as described in the Maryland Police and Correctional Training Commission regulation.
Experience: Six months of experience as a certified law enforcement officer.
1. The above educational requirement is set by the Maryland Police and Correctional Training Commission in accordance with the Annotated Code of Maryland, Public Safety Article, Section 3-207.
2. Candidates may substitute U.S. Armed Forces military service experience at a rank of Corporal/Petty Officer or higher as a non-commissioned officer in Protective Service classifications or Law Enforcement specialty codes in the Military Police Officer field of work on a year-for-year basis for the required experience.
Strong preference will be given to applicants who possess the following preferred qualifications. Include clear and specific information on your application regarding all qualifications.
1. Two or more years of experience as a certified law enforcement officer is strongly preferred.
This recruitment is limited to individuals who are willing to accept employment in Anne Arundel County or Baltimore City, Maryland.
1. Candidates for positions in this classification must possess a police officer certification as required by the Maryland Police and Correctional Training Commission at the time of application.
2. Applicants formerly certified by the Maryland Police and Correctional Training Commission as a police officer within the past three years who are eligible for recertification at the time of appointment meet the certification requirement for this classification. The recertification criteria are listed in the Code of Maryland Regulations 12.04.01.07, available at the Maryland Police and Correctional Training Commission.
3. Employees may be required to possess or obtain a special police commission in accordance with the Annotated Code of Maryland, Public Safety Article, Section 3-209.
1. Selection standards for police officer certification are established by theMaryland Police and Correctional Training Commission in accordance with the Annotated Code of Maryland, Public Safety Article, Section 3-207. These selection criteria are listed in detail in the Code of Maryland Regulations 12.04.01.04 and include the following: U.S. Citizenship Must be at least 21 years of age Satisfactory background investigation, including a check of criminal history Oral interview Physical examination Possession of a driver's license valid in the State of Maryland.
2. Employees in this classification are subject to call-in and, therefore, will be required to provide the employer with a phone number where they can be reached.
3. Employees in this classification may be required to bear firearms and to demonstrate practical knowledge and proficiency in the safe use and care of firearms on a periodic basis as required by the Maryland Police and Correctional Training Commission.
4. Employees in this classification are subject to substance abuse testing in accordance with Code of Maryland Regulations 17.04.09, Testing for Illegal Use of Drugs.
It is important that you provide complete and accurate information on your application. Please include all experience and education that is related to this position. All information concerning your qualifications must be submitted by the closing date; information submitted after the closing date will not be considered.
Note that for any position requiring a college degree or college credit, you will be required to submit a college transcript prior to being offered a position. You may submit your transcript as part of the application process.
The examination for this position will consist of a rating of your education, training and experience related to the requirements of the position. Successful candidates will be placed on the employment eligibility list categorized as BEST QUALIFIED, BETTER QUALIFIED, or QUALIFIED. The eligibility list will be valid for one year and may be extended. The list will be used by the hiring authority to select employees for interviews. Eligible lists may be used to fill future vacancies of the same classification.
You MUST possess the minimum qualifications before you may be selected for a State job – Verification will be completed by the appointing authority. If you are scheduled to complete an educational or licensing requirement within six months of the examination, you may participate in the examination process. Permanent State employees may also complete necessary experience requirements within six months of the date of an examination. Credit is given for relevant part-time, temporary or volunteer experience based on the number of hours worked per week. You must include on your application the time spent on such activity.
You must be legally authorized under the United States Immigration Reform and Control Act to be hired in the position for which you apply.
Contact firstname.lastname@example.com or call 410-767-4410 with questions about this recruitment. The on-line application process is STRONGLY preferred. Apply online at www.dgs.maryland.gov – click on Employment on the left side of the screen. If you are unable to submit your application online, please send your paper application to: Human Resources, Dept. of General Services, 301 W. Preston St., Suite 1311, Baltimore, MD 21201 by the closing date and time.
As an equal opportunity employer, Maryland is committed to recruiting, retaining and promoting employees who are reflective of the State's diversity. People with disabilities and bilingual candidates are encouraged to apply. We thank our Veterans for their service to our country.
TTY Users: call via Maryland Relay


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Étude House CC Cream vs BB Cream! Who wins?
I have a love and hate relationship with these products, especially the CC cream. I was told that these products are meant for oily skin (like mine) but it didn't seem to work that well since my skin got very oily by the end of the day. Then I read the 8 benefits of their CC cream and I now understand why my skin gets so oily after using it (one of the benefits of their CC cream is that it hydrates your skin!). What about the BB Cream? Is it meant for oily skin? Maybe since it leaves my face with less oil at the end of the day than the CC cream.I also noticed a few pimples popping up around my nose area which is not cool, and I admit it, I got a little sad about that but I continued using them to test their results. Thankfully the purging has stopped.
So let's talk about the CC cream first since its my first time using it. The bottle contains 35g of product and it's good for 12 months. It has SPF30 PA+++ and is a 8-in-1 multifunction cream which is nice. It is claimed to offer Anti-Aging, Stress Relief, Hydration, Whitening, Sun Protection, Tone-up, Smooth Texture and Luminosity.
I agree with the Whitening, Hydrating, Smooth Texture and Luminosity since I experienced them 1st hand. But as for the Anti-Aging, Stress Relief, Tone-up and Sun Protection I am still curious and wondering. I.e. I am not sure if it can prevent aging since SPF30 is not high enough to protect your skin from UV Rays. Stress Relief and Tone-Up also didn't work for me since I experienced a few pimples while using it. But I love the scent and the packaging of the product which I also admit, is one of the reasons I still like using it.
Moving onto the Precious Mineral BB Cream – Cover & Bright Fit. It contains 35g with SPF30 PA+++ and is good for 12 months as well. I got it in the shade Honey Beige. The product claims to have 'Double Fitting Concealer Technology' for flawless coverage.
To be honest, I love this product, even if I disagree with their coverage claim. My skin looks so radiant & healthy when I use it and it doesn't look too oily. It glides on smoothly and it doesn't make me break out. But since it only has an SPF of 30 (like the CC cream) I suggest that you apply a higher SPF sunblock cream before layering the BB cream on top. This will protect your skin from the sun.
So for me, I love the experience I had with Precious Mineral BB cream more than my experience with Correct & Care CC cream.


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Plaza de la Constitución
Currency, Santiago, Metropolitan Region.
In the place where the Ministry of War used to be, the Plaza de la Constitución was built in order to give greater scope and projection to the Palacio de la Moneda.
It is a work of the Austrian urban planner Karl Brunner dating from the first decades of the twentieth century, remodeled in the 80s by the architects Undurraga and Devés, getting the look it has today, in which the roundabout that has in between, allows to appreciate the ministerial buildings around him.
Right here you can enjoy the Changing of the Guard, the most traditional ceremony of the Palacio de la Moneda. It is a free activity that takes place at 10:00 am during the week and 11:00 am on weekends, during even days in the months of February, March, June, July, September and October; while in the months of January, April, May, August, November and December are the odd days.
Get off at our stop 6 Hop On Hop Off to know and enjoy this experience.
Currency, Santiago, Metropolitan Region.


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We've teamed up with our friends at Lezyne to bring you a custom-engraved Cranked mini floor-pump. Powerful, extremely light and small enough to put in your pack for trailside use, it's the best way to wave goodbye to frustrating flat repairs and get back on the trail in no time. And it's available in limited quantities.
It's typically Lezyne: beautifully finished and functionally superb. Capable of 90psi, with a reversible chuck to fit any valve and a bleed plipper thing so you can tweak pressure as you go. The key feature, of course, is the folding foot peg – giving you extra leverage for quick, easy trailside re-inflation. Oh, and the beautifully finished, laser-etched Cranked logo, of course.


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01 6614677
Fred Barry appointed as chairman of New National Children's Hospital.
Health Minister Simon Harris has appointed Fred Barry, a senior faculty member at the Institute of Project Management, to chair the board responsible for building the new National Children's Hospital.
Revelations of an increase in the cost of building the hospital from €987 million last year to €1.4 billion now have sparked a growing political controversy. When other costs are added, the project is expected to cost €1.73 billion and possibly more.
In essence, this is a megaproject which typically is a large scale complex venture that takes many years to develop and build, involves multiple public and private stakeholders, is transformational and potentially impacts thousands of people.
Megaprojects are not just magnified versions of smaller projects. They are a completely different breed in terms of their level of aspiration, stakeholder involvement, lead times, complexity and impact.
Mega projects require reflective practitioners as leaders who have developed deep domain experience in this specific field.
Mr. Barry is one of the elite IPMA (International Project Management Association) Level A Certified Project Directors in Ireland. Such individuals are comfortable acting on a strategic level within a very complex project environment.
Minister Harris obviously believes that Mr. Barry has the right profile when he said "I want to thank Mr. Barry for taking up this role. The National Children's Hospital is the most significant investment in children's healthcare in this country. "Mr. Barry's experience and leadership will be invaluable in ensuring the next phase of this project is delivered for future generations."
Mr. Barry has over 30 years' experience in senior leadership positions in the public and private sectors. He has worked on major infrastructural and industrial projects in Africa, the Middle East, Canada, and the USA.
He is he current Chairman of the NTA (National Transport Authority. He was Chief Executive of the National Roads Authority (NRA) in Ireland from 2005 to 2015. Prior to that, he was Managing Director for the UK and Ireland of international consultancy, Jacobs Engineering.
He holds Directorships at the Project Management Group and at Ervia .He is also a Member of the Institute of Arbitrators He is a Chartered Engineer, also qualified as a barrister and is a Fellow of Engineers Ireland and of the Irish Academy of Engineering, where he is also a council member.
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More people have real-life carve-out experiences than we think. For example, a family of four deciding to go through divorce gain more knowledge of carve-outs than just the process of 'splitting up'.
This imaginary couple with two kids have done their yearly family life assessment (management review), have reflected on how they are not able to focus on the things that matter the most (lost focus), and have concluded that their long-term goals are too different to make it together (strategic misalignment). They therefore decide to split up, and carve-out activities begin.
Carve-outs in business can get just as intimate as in one's personal life. In this post I will cover what to watch out for, and which valuable lessons should be put into practice in the business world.
Be prepared to get moving, fast!
Typically, carve-outs run on tight schedules that require focus, prioritization and a matter-of-fact approach to the issues at hand. There's no time to sort out wrong moves and all areas affected must be re-organized. Regardless of whether the 'split-up' is personal or business-related, it can benefit from approaching the situation as it is, accepting it and making a game plan for the future, instead of having people fall into indecisiveness, emotional drama or arguments.
Negotiate good transition services agreements (TSAs)
Time pressure is often created by the length of transition service agreements by which the parent company offers required services to the carved-out 'NewCo' for an agreed period of time. Depending on the nature of the relationship between the Parent and the NewCo and how well the negotiations went, the agreement may not cover the required services for long enough. This will easily lead to loss of business continuity, and increased costs in either engaging third party service providers to cover the gap or extensive TSA overage fees. Needless to say, many people know that personal break-ups can be costly too, and therefore agreeing on offering 'transition phase' services such as cooking and fixing the spouse's car can save a dime or two.
Ensure that tools and resources are available
In carve-outs, the technology challenges differ significantly from the ones in mergers. In mergers, the choice between whose systems are adopted for which purpose is crucial. Also, the effort to integrate information systems is significant and often extremely time-consuming. In a carve-out many, if not all, automated processes and tools will no longer exist – everything will need to be designed and built anew. This can be a hard truth to break to the people involved; for example, everyone may now need to report travel expenses manually until the new system infrastructure is built.
Compare this with the family-life situation of having to explain to the kids why there's no PlayStation at dad's, and mom only allows playtime after the room is cleaned…
Psychologically, carving out an integral part of an entity triggers a feeling of loss in humans. Furthermore, the loss of something already existing is harder to accept than the possibility of creating something bigger and better, as in the case of mergers. Therefore, whoever leads the carve-out transformation project must be a tough negotiator who can ensure a good foundation for the change, including reasonable TSAs and technology decisions. To lead the human side of transformation is a topic for another day.


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Last week I visited the WordPress forums because I was having some difficulty with uploading my blog's header.
My problem was resolved promptly but for reasons unknown I hung around and responded to several posts regarding the machinations of the WP software.
I'm no BlogGod by any means but I feel I know WordPress fairly well enough to offer help.
While surfing the forum I came across a post titled, "If there's a God, remove I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER" (ICHC)
Fascinated with the uber-long thread of comments, I left one of my own.
In a nutshell, some bloggers are a bit "cheezed off" because this bad burger has been the #1 rated Top WordPress Blog ad nauseum and people wanted to know why.
And with good reason, I should add.
It's a somewhat lame blog.
Different strokes, different folks, I guess.
The Cheezfest was set straight by several bloggers, Raincoaster being one of the WP forum angels to weigh in on the {oh no!} controversy.
RC is a frequent poster on the forum so if you've been there looking for advice, chances are you've seen the name.
I decided to check out the blog and have to say it's very impressive.
I blogrolled and was pleasantly surprised to find my blog linked as well.
Raincoaster mentioned a site to me in light of the ICHC brew ha-ha called LOLNIN.
Turns out LOLNIN is a parody of sorts of ICHC using Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails as the blog's main focus versus the sickeningly adorable cats on ICHC.
And believe me, I love cats but this site . . .
In order to completely appreciate the sheer brilliance of LOLNIN
you must first
sadly visit ICHC .
That's tonight's assignment, folks.
And please at some point visit Raincoaster.
No crap, just a really cool blog with an even more awesome name.
Tell them 'sneaker' sent ya


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This post is inspired by Maggie Latham and her fantastic series of posts on colour. (The link to the first post is here but do make sure to read the other posts in what an interesting, well researched and very well presented series. I can't recommend them enough, she is so generous with her knowledge.)
I love colour mixing charts, or as I think of them, recipe pages. If there is left over paint on the palette or sometimes just for the joy of it I'll start playing with mixing the colours. I don't think time spent doing this can ever be wasted and sometimes out of this kind of play unusual and unexpected combinations can be discovered.
The first two images are preparation for a 'Mixing Greens in Watercolour' class that I held a few years ago. Although using colours that I had used lots of times before I remember getting very excited about forgotten combinations.
There are now only three days left to post a comment here to be entered in my blogoversary painting giveaway - don't be shy.... :o)


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On the Friday BeerBuzz we are constantly asking our listeners to keep and open mind and try different styles of craft beers. And while not everyone needs to love (or even like) every beer, we do preach keeping an open mind. So this week I decided to extend that request into the studio.
I always like pushing taste boundaries, and I myself will admit there are many styles I now love, that I could not even drink just a few years ago. I believe I have been successful at introducing our BeerBuzz team to the world of great hoppy beers, so what boundary is next? SOURS!
You may ask what specifically a Sour Beer is…well first off it is not a beer gone bad. A Sour is a beer style characterized by an intentionally tart, sour or acidic taste. Sour beers, by design reject the sterile practices of a traditional beer, and actually encourage the wild yeast strains to enter the fermentation process….using mostly Brettanomyces yeast, or Lactobacillus bacteria. Many breweries also use fruit to achieve the sour, and some use both. Sours are typically unpredictable because of the wild yeast and most take months or years to ferment & mature.
Today I chose what I consider one of the best Sours available in the form of Lost Abbey Red Poppy Ale. This is a rare beer, only released in 2009 by Tomme Arthur, and a classic sour ale. Using a Belgian-Style brown ale as a starting point, this classic sour adds sour cherries & poppy seeds and is then aged in French oak barrels for 6-12 months.
Based on the reactions I got when I served Dogfish Head Festina Peche (an admittedly tart beer), I knew Red Poppy would challenge everyone's taste buds. This is a style you need to taste many times to let your tongue adjust, but again keep an open mind. I think you'll see in the video what everyone's reaction was. If you can't find Red Poppy, you can check out other sours like Ommegang Rouge, Rodenbach Grand Cru, Bullfrog The Jaspers, or even Duchesse de Bourgonoe…but do try this style.
to my buddy Steve for providing the rare Red Poppy for today's show, Nancy, John, & Joe for yet another fun Friday.
The Friday BeerBuzz…bringing good beers and good people together.
As always you can check out the video on-line at the WILK Friday BeerBuzz page by clicking HERE.


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The man who handily unseated three-term incumbent Sheila Dikshit from India's Legislative Assembly of Delhi last month is a 45-year-old bespectacled Indian Institutes of Technology graduate, Arvind Kejriwal, leader of the upstart Aam Aadmi – Common Man – Party (AAP) and an advocate for freedom-based sustainable development and political transparency.
From his activist beginnings at Parivartan (Hindi word for "change") in 1999, while still in the Indian Revenue Service, Kejriwal was recognized for "activating the right-to-information movement at the grassroots," as the Ramon Magsaysay Award Foundation put it in giving him its 2006 Award for Emergent Leadership, which is widely described as Asia's Nobel Prize.
Kejriwal used his award money to setup the Public Cause Research Foundation (PCRF). This in turn gave birth to the India Against Corruption movement, which shot to fame in 2011 after he, Anna Hazare, and others (popularly known as Team Anna) staged a hunger strike to demand the passage of a Jan Lokpal (ombudsman) bill. The bill was drawn up by PCRF trustees and other civil-society activists to create an independent body to investigate corruption, redress citizen grievances, and protect whistleblowers. The movement galvanized India's middle class, which is frustrated by endemic corruption, which has cost a staggering 4.32 trillion rupees. Thousands thronged the streets and parks and marched with candles in support of the anticorruption movement.
Frustrated by the fate of that bill in Parliament, Kejriwal led a breakaway faction to seek an electoral solution. In late 2012, on a platform of anticorruption, clean politics, and decentralized governance, Kejriwal – donning a skullcap imprinted with the words Aam Aadmi -- launched the party by that name. Now there was a political organization that stood for true democracy, the right to recall officeholders, Lokpal and its state counterpart, Lokayuktas – and against dynastic rule,.
Setting an eye on the Delhi elections just a year away, AAP faced a tall order: elections in India are a slugfest of anonymous money, alcohol, and freebies. With the frequent lament about the opaqueness of campaign financing, AAP published its list of donors on its website. Thinking outside the box, AAP creatively managed with its modest resources by using auto-rickshaws and Gandhi caps to promote its campaign messages.
It drew its volunteers from the agitated and dedicated urban youth. With a strong team that included former journalists, AAP used the social media to powerful effect by connecting to young people, who form over a third of the voting-age population of Delhi.
And in a novel move, unlike the major political parties, AAP fielded candidates without criminal histories, a strategy that proved immensely successful.
The credible alternative provided by AAP was rewarded with a 30 percent vote share, securing 28 out of 70 seats, to emerge as the second largest party in the assembly. This result has reinstated faith in the robust and crazy Indian democratic system – robust because it has stood the test of time since India's independence in 1947 (except briefly in the 1970s, when an "emergency" was declared and certain democratic rights were suspended), and crazy because of its multiparty system, which confers on every individual and every organization a right to contest elections.
India is undergoing a political renaissance. Since the 1960s, when L.M. Singhvi first introduced the concept of a Lokpal, this is the first time that an anticorruption movement has become a potent political force demanding competition for honesty among parties. The consequences of the rise of AAP, which no political party can dismiss, are beautifully captured by Pratap Bhanu Mehta, the well-known political scientist, in his succinct commentary
The Aam Aadmi Party's absolutely spectacular political debut is a reminder that India's progressive moment is ripe for being seized through political creativity and imagination. There will be new experiments with ideas, people and organisational forms. There is now a search for a new politics at many different levels. There is the search for a post-identity politics, which the AAP exemplified. Not only was its vote share spectacular, its cross class and caste basis was also impressive.
However, the picture is not all rosy. There are serious gaps in AAP's manifesto, which sells an impossible dream to voters: implementation of minimum-wage laws (which prices unskilled workers out of jobs), government dictation of the terms of employment contracts, filling vacant government posts to increase employment, regulating fees of private schools, et cetera. These are just a handful of measures that erode confidence in AAP's good-governance promise. Missing are the lessons of the Public Choice theory of political economy, market-based reforms, and a realization that incentives matter.
Despite these reservations, the rise of AAP indeed marks a watershed for Indian democracy. AAP deserves the benefit of doubt.


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Clinical Trial Automation Software Is Changing The Health Industry
For pharmaceutical companies, one of the biggest hurdles is getting drugs approved and ready for the open market. Clinical trials are a must before any new drug can be sold openly, but this process is always lengthy and costly. Enter clinical trial automation software.
Clinical Trial Automation Software For The Future
Clinical trial automation software is the answer to this problem, and thankfully increases in technological developments are streamlining the pharmaceutical and health industries. These companies spend millions of pounds getting drugs and products ready to bring to market and any cost that can be saved are of huge value to these companies. Not only is there serious money to be saved, there is also a great deal of time and effort that goes into the clinical trial process. Clinical trial automation software takes the laboriousness out of the equation for these companies and allows them to channel their time into developing more products. This a much more effective use of their time as well as resources, and allows the medical research profession to expand its horizons on a greater scale at a faster rate.
Cutting The Time In Half
Clinical trial software can more than half the time it takes to get real-world test results in varying areas inside the medical profession. It is commonplace for medical research companies and pharmaceutical companies alike to outsource on a lot of aspects to do with research and data. Software data companies are specialists in the analysis and consolidation of client data, so the trend is very much moving towards outsourcing and handing data management over to designated companies.
Specialist Areas Like Dentistry
Although dental companies operate in a specialist area of the overall health industry, there are still benefits to be had even if they are not in the direct field of administering clinical trials themselves. There is a trickle-down effect that dentists will feel in the form of fewer upfront costs when it comes to buying drugs and medicine that they use in their practice. Dentists are very much at the end of the line in terms of established products, as their day to day services use products that usually have a long-standing history. But as technology advances, so does medical techniques, meaning that in the future the effects felt by dentists from processes like clinical trial automation software will be far greater.
Streamlining Thanks To Clinical Trial Automation Software
It can often cost thousands if not millions of pounds to administer a new high cost drug to just one patient, in a specialist bespoke clinic test. The upfront costs can spiral out of control, and if the test is unsuccessful the trials must start all over again. The longer and more drawn out this process is, the higher the cost is to companies. This means they are very sensitive to the cost of administering these trials, and very calculated in their approach so as not so escalate costs and go over budget. Any streamlining that can be made in the trail process that will cut down on time spent in the trial phase can represent vast savings when it comes to money spent.


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Yom Hashoah V'Hagvurah, Commemoration of the Holocaust
- Share This Story
Graphic Novelist Miriam Katin to speak; community is invited
CLEVELAND – The Jewish Federation of Cleveland and the Kol Israel Foundation will partner to host Yom Hashoah V'Hagvurah, and honor those lost in the Holocaust with this year's theme, "Memory of the Holocaust: A Child's Perspective." The annual event takes place on Sunday, April 27 from 2:00-3:30 p.m. at B'nai Jeshurun Congregation, 27501 Fairmount Blvd, Pepper Pike. It is free and open to the public.
Child Holocaust survivor and graphic novelist, Miriam Katin joins us as this year's featured speaker. Born in Hungary in 1943 during WWII, Katin and her mother escaped the Nazi invasion of Budapest after staging their deaths. Katin and her family later immigrated to Israel, where she served in the Israel Defense Forces as a graphic artist, and later worked for MTV Animation and Disney Studios. At the age of 63, Katin published her first full-length graphic novel, "We Are on Our Own." Her novels based on personal experiences, including her most recent work, "Letting It Go," have touched millions around the world.
At the event, six Holocaust survivors will light memorial candles with their families by their side. A seventh candle will be lit by a World War II veteran and liberator, and an eighth candle will be lit to represent "Righteous among the nations." Children of all ages will also participate in a "March of the Generations," to signify that Jewish life after the Holocaust continues.
Attendees will hear readings by the first place winners in the Creative Arts Contest. Students in grades 6-12 in Northeast Ohio schools were invited to participate in this contest by creating original written and visual arts to incorporate this year's theme. In addition, all of the creative writing and visual arts winners will be displayed in the program booklet.
The 2014 Creative Arts Contest winners are:
Visual Arts – Middle School
1st Place – Coralin Li, 8th Grade (Solon Middle School)
2nd Place – Jakob Bolman, 8th Grade (Gross Schechter Day School)
3rd Place – Ethan Geis, 7th Grade (Gross Schechter Day School)
Visual Arts – High School
1st Place – Hannah Levitin, 9th Grade (Fuchs Mizrachi School)
2nd Place – Mollie Goldman, 9th Grade (Fuchs Mizrachi School)
3rd Place – Madeline Lininger, 10th Grade (James A. Garfield High School)
Creative Writing Winners – Middle School
1st Place – David Gold, 8th Grade (Gross Schechter Day School)
2nd Place – Erica Kahn, 8th Grade (Gross Schechter Day School)
3rd Place – Zach Levy, 8th Grade (Temple Israel Ner Tamid)
Creative Writing Winners – High School
1st Place – Ariana Ehrhart, 10th Grade (James A. Garfield High School)
2nd Place – Henschi Glazer, 12th Grade (Yavne High School)
3rd Place – Jordan Brown, 11th Grade (Orange High School)


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I spend a lot of time doing work in my cubicle and decided it was time to do a little decorating. I wanted my space to feel cheerful and pretty and was so happy that this tassel garland did just the trick. It's by Pom Flair who makes all kinds of tissue paper decor in custom colors just to your liking. I requested a peachy garland and now I feel like I'm walking into a mini party every time I sit down at my desk.
My new cubicle decor
Last modified: January 10, 2019
2 Replies to "My new cubicle decor"
It looks great! I love the little bouquet of flowers.
You are my absolute inspiration if I ever end up working in an office cubicle. xx


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OPPORTUNITY TO WORK WITH MATT PERSONALLY!Click Here To Subscribe Now
I respect your privacy and have a ZERO TOLERANCE for spam.
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Extruder Fan
Ask the MakerGear community for assistance...
Post Reply
4 posts • Page 1 of 1
Extruder Fan
I accidentally pulled out one of the wires to the extruder fan. Where can I order one. Damn, extruder jam, as I was clearing a filament jam.
Re: Extruder Fan
just order it from makergear. its cheap and karen will ship it priority mail i believe by default. if you order it from them i believe it comes with the molex connector on it already as well. sourced somewhere else you'll have just wires.
Re: Extruder Fan
Thanks Jim. The only thing is I'm not seeing anything on ordering the fans on their website.
- Posts: 27
- Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2014 10:56 pm
- Location: Seattle, WA
Re: Extruder Fan
E-mail or call will be quickest.
Post Reply
4 posts • Page 1 of 1


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NEW YORK – Bankrupt Hostess has picked a lead bidder for its iconic Twinkies brand.
A bankruptcy court revealed that an offer from investment firms C. Dean Metropoulos & Co. and Apollo Global Management LLC has won the lead bid for Twinkies and other snack cake brands.
Previously, sources had indicated that the firms' joint offer would emerge as the lead bid. According to Hostess, the offer is for $410 million for the snack cake business and five bakeries.
This is a "stalking horse" bid that would allow competitors to make better offers. A sale requires formal approval from a judge.
In November, Hostess announced that it would go out of business and sell off its brands.
It has already picked Flowers Foods—maker of Tastykakes—as the lead bidder for Wonder Bread. McKee Foods Corp.—the company that produces the Little Debbie brand—is the lead bidder for the Drake's Cakes line.


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Stamford rep cited for posting hate messages quits Democratic Party
STAMFORD — An unapologetic Marion McGarry, censured by her colleagues on the Board of Representatives for posting hate messages on Facebook, has left the Democratic Party.
McGarry said she changed her registration to "unaffiliated" Thursday, the day after the Democratic City Committee voted to proceed with a hearing that could have resulted in ousting her from the party.
Democratic Registrar of Voters Ron Malloy confirmed Thursday that McGarry removed her name from the party rolls and re-registered as unaffiliated.
McGarry, 75, who has represented District 12 for 12 years, said she will stay in her seat on the Board of Representatives for the remaining two years of her term.
In her first public statement since the airing of her Facebook posts, which disparage immigrants, Muslims, and even Democrats, McGarry said she has not been afforded due process, the fair treatment to which citizens are entitled.
"I have been stalked, abused, lied about, victimized and denigrated, tried and unfairly convicted by the Board of Representatives, the Democratic Party, as well as the media, without due process," McGarry wrote. "Because of this, my family and I have been put in harm's way, with extra patrols to keep us safe. I have suffered defamation of character and been stripped of my freedom of speech."
Her record, McGarry wrote, "shows I have always voted for the people of Stamford — hardly the actions of one who has been so accused of so much. Forty-five years ago I became a Democrat; it was when Democrats stood for God, our country, our flag and our freedom. Today, like so many others, I change my affiliation to independent. My prime commitment will still be to vote on the Board of Representatives for the people of Stamford."
She finished by saying, "A moral compass lies in the heart of a person, not in the 'D' or 'R' after their name. God bless you all."
She did not confirm or deny that she posted the Facebook messages.
Josh Fedeli, chairman of the 40-member Democratic City Committee, said members voted Wednesday night to hold a hearing that would have been a preamble to a decision about whether to remove McGarry.
Fedeli said Democrats on the committee "wanted there to be due process."
"They want her to answer for her posts and public statements," Fedeli said. "The biggest question was, 'Does she want to remain a Democrat?'"
A hearing would provide a way "to get that answer and make a determination," he said.
"The Democratic Party would certainly accept her resignation," Fedeli said. "We haven't heard much of anything from her in terms of a public apology of any kind."
Asked about Fedeli's call for an apology, McGarry said, "They didn't do their due process. They have no idea if I posted those things or not. They tried and convicted me already."
Rep. Jonathan Jacobson, McGarry's Democratic District 12 colleague, said it's disingenuous for her to claim she was not offered due process. On March 12, the Board of Representatives took up a motion to censure McGarry, which came with a chance to speak, Jacobson said. McGarry did not attend.
"If she now takes a position that she did not post those statements, she could have said that then," said Jacobson, who led the censure effort. "She had an opportunity to take responsibility ... but she stands by her statement and continues to represent residents of this city of all races and religions, including those she targets in her posts."
District 12, which includes downtown and Glenbrook, has a dense, diverse population.
Fedeli said city Democrats also voted Wednesday to "condemn, in forceful terms" the social media posts.
One showed a photo of Muslim Americans being sworn into the U.S. House of Representatives alongside a photo of the 9/11 terror attacks with the caption, "How quick we forget." Another said, "Moderate Muslims only exist in the mind of the West, not in Islam."
A third shows a judge ordering an "idiot" illegal immigrant to leave the country "and take your lawnmower with you."
A McGarry spokesman has said she is upset with her party's stance on abortion. In one post she called party members "Dem-o-rats." Another said, "Overthrow Roe v. Wade and all Democrats for it."
Malloy said the move to oust McGarry is rare in Connecticut, and unprecedented in Stamford. By state law, he, as Democratic registrar, and Fedeli, as head of the city party, "have the power to have people struck off the list," Malloy said.
"I'm uncomfortable with that. I don't want to see the kind of thing where two people make that kind of decision about a person," Malloy said. "As long as it was going to be the first time this is happening in Stamford, I felt we should have a process."
He read court cases and consulted with people in the state Legislature, where some want to change the rule, Malloy said.
"It should be the party that decides, and I felt a hearing would give the party the chance to do so," Malloy said.
Now McGarry has eliminated the need for a hearing, he said.
The censure by her board did not discipline her or remove any of her authority as a representative.
The board's majority leader, Democrat Rodney Pratt of District 9, said the incident calls for a review of how to handle such incidents.
Pratt said that, as leader, he is bound by Robert's Rules of Order, guidelines designed to ensure maximum fairness within an organization.
"According to Robert's Rules, being censured is the end result, not the beginning result, of how to resolve something," Pratt said. "Robert's Rules says to try to resolve things internally, and I was in the middle of doing that."
If there is no resolution, it "gets bumped up to the next level, which could be the Board of Ethics. That should come before public humiliation and censure, which is what happened in this case," Pratt said. "What (McGarry) did was wrong, but I think she's right that there was not due process. There would have been — had everyone followed Robert's Rules."
firstname.lastname@example.com; 203-964-2296.


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A big thank you to those of you who wished me well for the weekend. It went well. Very well in fact. Right up till the moment I almost made the news for abusing a baby.
How I wish I was joking.
Oh God, I can barely bring myself to tell this. Every time I think of it, I cringe and shout out. I don't know why I shout out. But I do. It's an automatic reaction when I think of something which really embarrasses me. I did it just now. For reasons I'll come to in a moment, I'm sitting in an internet café in Peckham – more of an internet toilet if I'm honest – and, thinking about what I'm about to tell you, I shouted out. Nothing in particular, just a loud, strange-sounding grunt. The kind of noise mad people make. The guy who runs this place and the two other people on nearby computers all turned to look at me. They think I'm crazy. Am I crazy? I think I might be.
So. On Monday evening I was with some friends of Morag. One of them, the one whose house it was – let's call her Beth – has a four-year-old son called Jamie. Jamie took rather a shine to me, and frankly I to him, so he was crawling all over me, and I was being a bit silly, making him laugh, tickling him and so on. All good innocent fun, and obviously a great little brownie point-earner as far as Morag and her friends were concerned.
But then it all went wrong.
Basically I made the mistake (I see in retrospect) of tossing Jamie up in the air. Just a little. I had hold of him under the arms and I pretended to throw him up in the air and catch him. I barely let go of him at all. Maybe for a second, but I made a big show of throwing him away, pretending to try and frighten him. You know how it is. Kids love that shit. And Jamie proved no exception. 'More!' he said, chortling and gurgling.
'Careful, Stan,' said Morag.
'I know,' I said, slightly fractious. 'Don't worry,' I said. 'I don't work for Haringey Council.' And I faux-tossed Jamie in the air again, walking slowly around Beth's large living room as I went, tossing and catching. 'More!' he cried, amidst wild giggles. His mother didn't seem to mind at all and I was perfectly in control so I continued. 'I'm going to throw you away!' I said, and I tossed him up in the air again.
'More!' he cried.
And then it happened. In the blink of an eye, Jamie's giggles turned to the most ear-piercing screams I think I've ever heard as his head cracked loudly against the concrete ceiling.
Basically, the wall between Beth's living room and dining room was at some stage removed to make one large room… except for one column in the centre of where the wall used to be, and maybe a metre of wall hanging down from the ceiling all the way across. I'm sure there's an architectural term for what I'm making a pig's arse of describing here, but obviously I don't know what it is. Basically there's a bit of the wall left and I didn't see it, didn't even know it was there until I smashed a baby's head against it.
Oh, God. I just shouted out again.
When I realised what had happened, I instinctively squeezed Jamie closer to me and started rubbing the top of his head. With his face bright red, soaking wet and contorted in agony, he pulled away from me and reached out to his mum, who was there in seconds. I tried to explain what had happened as she took her son away from me.
It really was one of the worst moments of my life. I felt hideous. I felt like a monster.
In retrospect, I guess the fact that he was still conscious probably meant that no lasting harm had been done, but at the time that didn't occur to me. At the time, I was just terrified that I'd damaged a little boy's brain.
In the end, he was fine, and Beth was really nice about it, much nicer I fear than I would have been if some stupid fucker had bashed my son's head against the ceiling. And Morag forgave me before the night was out. So in the end, no harm done. But still, what an incredible doofus I am.
I still can't believe it.
What if he'd just died? I... it doesn't bear thinking about.
God. I can't get over it. I'll be cringing for the rest of my life because of this. And rightly so.
So yes, apart from that, the weekend went well, and Morag's friends seemed to like me. God knows what they're saying about me now though.
Let the paranoia commence.
In other news, as soon as I've posted this, I'm going back to the doctor to get my stomach checked out again. I'm terrified I've got stomach cancer. Morag tells me that if I don't stop stressing about it, I'm going to worry myself a tumour. This has made me even more scared. Can you actually worry yourself a tumour? Oh God, I bet you can. Right, no more worrying.
Then, tomorrow I'm going for my first ever in-relationship AIDS test. Woo hoo! To be honest, there is very, very, very little chance I have AIDS, but I suppose you never know. Mostly I'm going in order to give moral support to Morag. I'm still slightly nervous though.
On reflection, this seems quite personal.
Hmmm. Actually, forget I mentioned any of that. But wish me luck.
Oh, and when I got back from Brighton yesterday, I found that my internet had been cut off. I'm trying not to go crazy and kill everyone in a 12-mile radius because frankly, that wouldn't be fair. Basically, the sub-human to whom I spoke last week misunderstood what I said by two weeks and now wants to charge me lots of extra money for their mistake.
I am rising above it. I am gritting my teeth and rising above it. Because life could be worse. In fact, it may be. But fingers crossed, it isn't.
The upshot of this is that there may be a lot less blogging between now and the end of the year. But as I say, it could be far, far worse.
Oh, also, I'm getting a cold.
Stupid life.
I suddenly feel rather down. Please, if you can, tell me something cheery in the comments. Go on, it'll do you good too.
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Worried Wednesday :: Child Abuse, AIDS, Cancer and Virtual Isolation
A big thank you to those of you who wished me well for the weekend. It went well. Very well in fact. Right up till the moment I almost made the news for abusing a baby.
30 comments:
- Kirses said...
I'm off to Milan for a long weekend tomorrow - I feel very cheery about that because we have only had about two days of internet and email up time at work in the last 3 weeks - it is currently a very boring place.
- 3 December 2008 at 17:36
- Misssy M said...
You cracking a baby's head on a ceiling has bizarely made me feel better about me being a shit mother and completely forgetting to take my five year old daughter to her best friend's birthday party on Saturday.
I've been in tears about it. 'Specially when her Mum told me the little friend had been close to tears when my girl didn't turn up.
I have committed social death for my daughter, made a six year old cry on her birthday and think I might have some kind of early onset dementia.
- 3 December 2008 at 18:27
- Carnalis said...
i have nothing cheering, except to reassure you that children have reasonably tough skulls
- 3 December 2008 at 18:52
I wouldn't worry about nearly killing a child. We've all done it, and sometimes accidentally too.
- 3 December 2008 at 18:53
Don't feel bad about the mis-hap with the kid. Parents (including myself) have done far worse to their own kids accidently while horsing around, and kids are much more resilient than you'd imagine! Mine has a very thick skull! Plus, he's likely to do far worse to himself over the next few years, falling out of trees, crashing his bike, taking a few spills off his skateborad, etc.
Maria in Oregon
- 3 December 2008 at 19:03
- Inwardly Confused said...
I have accidently sprayed my son in the face with Cillit Bang, I ran him under the tap and he was ok, I still feel bad about it and get red faced with shame at my own stupidity. My husband has rubbish parents too, his Mum broke his arm when she put him on a small wall to tie his shoes laces, tied too tight and pulled the poor chap clean off the wall, his Dad broke him femur by running him over with a trolley in a tile warehouse, there are lots of us that been party to hideous child related incidents don't beat yourself up.
- 3 December 2008 at 22:20
I understand that shouting feeling - I tend to growl. Every time I get near a bridge or the top of a building I avoid those thoughts like the plague... On a cheery note, my mum comes out of an induced coma tomorrow.
- 3 December 2008 at 22:47
- Catofstripes said...
I dislocated my son's arm when he was about 3.
We were just bouncing on the bed. A good deal of embarrassment at A&E ensued.
He's fine.
- 3 December 2008 at 23:11
my brother cracked my niece against a ceiling when she was only 9 months old! other than her growing up to become a gargantuan pile of spam-sucking trailer trash, there were no lasting effects.
kids are resilient. we used to ride our bike without helmets [gasp!]frequently cracking our thick skulls on the pavement when a wheelie would go awry....
relax. and stomach cancer is generally treatable, right?
- 3 December 2008 at 23:27
I once found a large, square, lego shaped indentation in the skull of a friend's 8 year old son. They didn't even know it was there. But I would suggest you don't toss any more toddlers. Quietening them down is a much more impressive skill than getting them up a height. A worthy but dull book should do the trick.
- 3 December 2008 at 23:44
- Looby said...
Dear Mr de Jour,
I have been a lurker on your blog for quite a long time, but never before posted. However, i feel it is now time to tell you what a lovely, lovely man you are. Your intelligence, humour and humility never fail to delight me.
- 4 December 2008 at 00:19
I remember my mum rather enthusiatically encouraging my pram to mount a kerb, ejecting me in the process. I landed on my head on said kerb and as a result had an enormous, cartoon-style bump on my head. I don't remember the pain at all, but I do remember the glorious fuss everybody made of me. That kid will have LOVED all the attention, loved it. He's just fine.
- 4 December 2008 at 01:17
The best thing about kids is they rebound quickly! If us adults could only remember to be that way...
But yikes indeed.
At least it made for a great post!!
As for me, my Dad is having surgery for cancer tomorrow, so nothing bright at this end of the tunnel, except that he'll be okay in the end. And so will the child.
- 4 December 2008 at 02:18
If it makes you feel any better, I also make involuntarily moans and grunts of shame when I recall a particularly cringe-making deed. And I seem to be making a lot of them recently. I won't go into details; most of them are too difficult to explain, and anyway, I'm too ashamed.
When I applied for my green card to the US, I had to have an AIDS test and a chest X-ray. It was nice to tell my girlfriend (now wife!) that I was AIDS and TB free.
She found out about the crabs later.
- 4 December 2008 at 02:51
I'm not quite sure how cheering this will be, but I let my three week old daughter wriggle through the leg pieces of her cheap pram. To drop to a hard tiled floor. And then to roll down six stone steps.
What? You mean to say that these things don't come with a manual? At the very least a licence? They cleared the doctors surgery for me, checked her out and injected me with 10 things of valium because I was such an hysterical mess.
And onto the cheerful. I took the outdoor stone adventure baby to shop for her formal gown for next year. Pale pink, shows off her slender yet curvy body and I had to keep stopping to think "I fucking made that!" Well, SpouseHole had something to do with it as well,but not the good bits.
- 4 December 2008 at 03:27
- Mrs. Hall said...
Ya know, the rough play with kids, these things happen. The accidental head injuries and such. I have been literally sitting next to my son when stuff happened and he had to get stitches. TWICE.
And I am mother of the year actually.
Really, if you put into into perspective, kids are like little drunk people. Always walking around, bumping into things, being highly emotional, random bouts of puking.
If the boy is four, the mom knows this. And if she forgave you, then she did forgive you.
Either way, Stan. Your task now is to be proactive and not get all fucked up over it. When the thoughts, the cringes, the flashbacks begin in earnest, be proactive. Use deep breathes and other calming techniques.
Seriously, you are in charge here.
Don't let it get the better of you.
Mrs. Hall
- 4 December 2008 at 03:32
- Tim Footman said...
I do the shouting thing too, when I remember something particularly crass that I've said or done. It's a kind of bark when I do it.
And sometimes I'll do it in public and someone will ask what's wrong. And I'll say that I've stubbed my toe or something equally lame. Which gives me another humiliation to store in my id, primed to pop out and make me shout, in a vicious circle of embarrassment.
I've never thrown a kid at the ceiling though. I'm not that much of fucktard. ;-P
- 4 December 2008 at 05:31
- BPP said...
Fah! For a start, that sprog wasn't a baby, it was a four year old and they're practically indestructable. Secondly, kids that age are fuckwits with goldfish memories; he'll have forgotten a little knock in minutes. Thridly, that's all it was: a knock. Don't beat y'self up over an accident, you silly sod. What actually happened there was fuck all.
- 4 December 2008 at 07:56
children are more robust than they seem. About 20 years ago my friend Andy, bit, leather-clad biker type was on a crammed underground train, nothing to hold on to, when everyone went flying when a sharp corner was taken rather fast. His bike, biker boot went straight into the face of a child. Nothing he could do, but he felt shit
- 4 December 2008 at 08:21
I was a couple of weeks old, when my terrifc Mum, (wearing stilitoes and walking on Italian tiles in our kitchen) slipped and fell. She dropped me, and I rolled on the floor, my head ending up lodged under the fridge.
She couldn't forgive herself, quickly called the Doctor who said I was fine because I was making so much noise, and that he was more worried about my Mum.
I'm super smart, no damage done, so don't worry about the poor little fella on the weekend.
That's not why I'm commenting though... Stan, what happened that you're hanging out with Morag again? I've been reading along for forever, but I feel like I've missed a bit here.
Hope your tests go well.
- 4 December 2008 at 09:59
Smashing kids heads against concrete lintels is fairly common. A friend did it to my son and he's at Uni now so don't worry.
I've got tomorrow off and I will be mainly going to the pub.
- 4 December 2008 at 10:36
- Some Chilean Woman said...
Nuse wannabe here again...the kid didn't vomit afterwards therefore he is okay -that's cheery.
- 4 December 2008 at 10:51
Well, a couple of years ago when I was working in a day centre, I dropped a small child who had cerebal palsy. I still feel sick whenever I think about it. She was fine once she stopped screaming(small children are surprisingly tough) and I just passed my latest CRB check. So there we are. Also, as someone who used to work in child protection (and, you know, someone who doesn't like the idea of abusing babies), I read the beginning of your post with absolute horror, and then felt very relieved when I realised that it was an accident and you hadn't been molesting anyone's baby. The way you set it up, I was expecting much, much worse.
I hope you're feeling a bit better about it. Do you have snow to cheer you up? We have lots of snow up here. I made my dog very cross by throwing snowballs for her to chase. She loves the chasing, but gets enraged by the fact that they disappear back into the snow. Stupid dog.
- 4 December 2008 at 13:45
Bete you're lovely and who knows someday if you decide to, I'm sure you'll make a lovely Dad. Accidents happen. Granted the kid bashed his head and cried but he also did get many a laughter before the incident happened. I'm that does outweigh the pain. Don't be too hard on yourself! And good luck with Morag, the AIDS test, the internet etc. Have a lovely weekend, ride the wave of emotions...take care now. A.
- 4 December 2008 at 13:59
- Catofstripes said...
Oh yeah, and when I was a baby, my sister dropped me on my head in the coal scuttle.
I'd forgotten that. In fact I forget a lot of things...oh mi god!
Just kidding. I hit my sister over the head with a poker. She was fine too.
Why the AIDS test? I did one once for a new lover but afterwards I felt I'd been bullied. Did he not trust me?
- 4 December 2008 at 18:53
I make involuntary noises when I remember embarrasing things I've done, too. Sometimes a groan, sometimes a squeak.
I'm afraid I have hit more than one small person on the head by accident while looking after them. I once fell forward while carrying someone else's baby up the stairs and hit the back of their head hard on the stairs. I have hurt several children while playing rough-and-tumble games. It eels terrible. You fantasise about having killed them. Particularly that time with the baby on the stairs I worried he might die, and whether my close friend (his mum) could ever forgive me (or me myself) if he did. But he didn't. Generally they don't. They do actually bounce. You have to try quite hard to cause lasting damage to a small person. (four years old is not a baby) (or did I mis-read? was it four months? whatever).
And most parents (a) learn that small people bounce, so don't worry too much when things like that happen, and (b) have done it so many times themselves already that they don't judge when other people do it.
After all, think about it: How can anyone stay on the ball 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months a year? Particularly when they're knackered from trying to stay on the ball 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 12 months a year? Parents make silly mistakes all the time. It's inevitable.
It's all right. Don't fret.
PS. About the what-if-they-died thing: It's one of the curses of having an active imagination. One of the stupid tricks my brain currently brain plays on me: Whenever I identify a threat to my four-month-old son's safety, like I realise that if I'm not carefl I might bang his head on the low attic ceiling or jab him in the eye with the knife I'm using to chop carrots, I suddenly imagine myself doing it on purpose. In 'orrible, grisly detail. I really really don't want to harm him and I know that I never intentionally will, it's just I have a really stupid overactive imagination, which reacts quickly to random triggers. Hmm. Not suer if I should admit to that. Sounds worse than it is. Bet I'm not the only one though.
- 5 December 2008 at 01:25
- LaLa said...
I once dropped my little cousin on her head on a concrete driveway and every time she saw me for the few weeks after that she would rub her head. I told everyone she fell herself and felt terribly guilty for years.
You will be glad to know she is a normal, lovely 20 year old now with no issues from that crack on the head so I am sure that kid will be fine too!
- 5 December 2008 at 03:07
You're not going to beoieve this but today I hoisted my son up onto my shoulder with a modicum of oomph (cos he's heavy) and heard a loud thud... cos I was in the attic under a low ceiling and had cracked his head with some force on the ceiling. And I don't even have the excuse that I don't know the layout of the house.
He didn't even cry. Completely oblivious. Amazing.
- 6 December 2008 at 03:28
Bonjour La Bête,
It's the kind of event that time transforms quickly. Soon you will say "do you remember when I squashed his head on the ceiling ?ha ha ha !".
Uncle Did
- 8 December 2008 at 09:07
- La Framéricaine said...
So, what's up with the stomach? I just wonder because I did a 4 year stomach ache associated with excessive worry over my husband's real prostate cancer.
The body is just one giant stress meter. When you jack up the stress--moving is way up there on the list, even thinking about moving will do--something gives--stomach, head, bladder, sciatic nerve, neck, GI tract, hemorrhoids, upper-respiratory. You name it, I've had it.
So, what's up with the stomach?
Oh, yeah, little kids? I just don't touch 'em and that impresses the hell out of 'em because everyone else is always paying attention to them so their like Pavlov's dogs when an adult comes in sight. If you behave out of character, they get interested and you don't get jail for involuntary childslaughter.
I swear to gawd, one of the things I love about reading your blog is your commenters. They are so sweet to you!
- 8 December 2008 at 21:30


text:
In order to use this plugin, users have to configure the following in the GoCD server.
- Configure cluster profile(s) - The cluster profile settings are used to provide the cluster level configurations for the plugin. Each cluster profile specifies Configurations such as AWS credentials, EC2 Instance settings, Docker Container settings, ECS Cluster configurations. Users are encouraged to define one cluster per environment.
- Create elastic agent profile(s) - The Elastic Agent Profile is used to define the configuration of a docker container. The profile is used to configure the docker image, set memory limits, provide docker command and environment variables.
- Configure job to use an elastic agent profile - This is a job level configuration to specify the elastic profile to be used for a job. When a job is scheduled the plugin would spin up a docker container using the configuration provided in the associated elastic profile.


text:
By SékouWrites
Designed by Gucci Creative Director Frida Giannini, the exclusive Bianchi by Gucci bicycles are nothing if not chic. Offered in two models, both with Gucci's signature green-red-green stripe, the white steel single-speed bike features customized leather grips and saddle, while the matte black carbon fiber model is an urban/off-roader perfect for weekend getaways that involve both city streets and venturing off the beaten path. Giannini has also designed a series of accessories to complement the bicycles, like a signature helmet, gloves and water bottle.
Bianchi by Gucci
Approximately $14,000
(reprinted from Uptown Magazine)


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How to build WSO2 WSAS 3.0 from the source distribution
February 10, 2009 Leave a comment
WSO2 WSAS 3.0 was released last Friday. If you are interested in building WSAS from the source distribution, please follow the following procedure. First of all download the WSAS source pack from here. This source distribution contains source codes of all the projects which are used in WSAS 3.0. Note that you have to have maven2 installed in your machine before proceeding.
Already built jar files of all the projects in the source distribution except wsas are available in the WSO2 maven repository. Therefore the easiest way to build wsas from source distribution is to build only the WSAS source online. To do that, extract the source pack, open a console and moven into wso2wsas-3.0-src/wsas/java folder and use the following command.
mvn clean install -Dmaven.test.skip=true
If you are interested in doing changes in the source code and playing with it, you have to build the entire source code. Build all projects in the source pack in the following order using the above command. Make sure you move into the folder in which the root pom.xml file exists in each and every project.
- axis2
- rampart
- sandesha2
- savan
- transports
- throttle, caching, eventing and xkms which are in commons
- carbon-orbit
- carbon
- carbon-components
- wsas


text:
as I have been reading so much (see last post!) for the class I am enrolled in this summer, I of course have been thinking a lot about the issues that I am studying. The class is a philosophical look at issues raised by and about the feminist movement. The things I have been spending mental time and energy on are mainly surrounding one theme that is central and prevalent in feminist literature: the concept of the Other. (No, not the Nicole Kidman creepy movie with the kids in the dark.) Our society is constructed in such a way that you cannot think of one thing without thinking of another part of a dichotomous relationship – man/woman, body/mind, right/wrong, black/white, strong/weak, healthy/sick, (dead/alive – hee hee) etc. The problem is, one half of the dichotomy is considered standard in a social sense, and the "Others" are cast as opposites, not preferable, negative, substandard. In fact, each half is equally different from the other: men are as different from women as women are from men. Either side of the relationship could be held up as the standard, and the other considered not preferable.
We have a problem in our society, of a mythical norm. It is prevalent in everyday life, from reading the newspaper to conversations with friends, to media representations. What is considered the norm is not even the majority. The mythical norm is white, male, christian, able-bodied, thin, young, heterosexual, and financially stable. He is able to take advantage of all kinds of unearned privelege, just by being lucky enough to be born in the body and family and social group that he was. Everyone else is Other, marginalized to varying degrees. Most of us have multiple factors that work against us in this society, combinations of race, sex, religion, sexuality, disability, class stratification etc. and too often, these intersections are lost in the shuffle as those with only one category of Other try to fight their way to the top of the heap: "Look at me – I'm white, christian, able-bodied, heterosexual, thin, young, and financially stable! I'm almost the norm except for this one little thing about my sex… I deserve to participate fully in society!" These "pure" claims of discrimination – based on only one of sex, class, sexuality, race, religion, disability, etc. leave multiply disadvantaged people out of the picture.
I find it irritating as I go about in the world that I have been given certain priveleges that I haven't earned. I am lucky, to be sure, that I never had to know the pain of being poor, or having to figure out my sexual identity, or having a physical or mental disability. I am lucky to be exactly who I am. But that's just the point – it's all luck. The wheel of luck spun when I was born, and landed me in the family I grew up in, with the physical and mental characteristics I have. So many others are not so lucky… and so many others are much more lucky, and neither have done anything to deserve it! That society rewards and punishes everyone according to the luck of the draw is so cruel and unnecessary.
So here I am, both Other and priveleged. How do I reconcile these things in my life? How do I go about in the world, knowing that only my birth makes my voice heard more than that of another? How do I go about knowing that if only I had been born a male, I would have so much more privelege?
It is humbling, to be sure, to think of the world in this way. I am better able to perceive of myself as being lucky, and nothing more. I am better able to understand how my skin colour gives me unearned advantages, and how my sisters of other races have to be that much smarter, work that much harder, be that much more persistent, act that much more "good" in order to not have her race reflect badly on her (in some circumstances). I am better able to understand how the world is built for me, and how those who are physically disabled are at a serious disadvantage. I am better able to understand that if the wheel of luck had spun differently at my birth, I could have the complex emotional burden of telling all my friends and family that I am gay, and have to live in a world where same-sex unions are not as widely accepted and represented as are hetero unions, and have to explain to my children that she has two mommies and not everyone is going to like that. I am better able to understand that the opportunities I have in my life are not the same as everyone else's, that because of my socio-economic class I do not have to break free of a number of financial, emotional, physical and psychological constraints in order to practice academia.
It's not as if I didn't think of myself as lucky, but I truly am lucky in so many regards that I did not realize, and at the expense of those who are not as lucky as I am, whether I intend it or not. It's not as though I have been running around in the world being a jackass to those less advantaged than I. But I have considered that the differences between myself and other people did not matter, that the differences were unimportant – what mattered was a shared humanity. I now think this could not be further from the truth – it is our differences that are important; our differences make us unique, make us who we are, give us struggles that build our characters. My differences are important to me! It is an important part of my identity that I am a woman, that I am healthy, that I am heterosexual, that I am quirky, that I am an atheist, that I love to sing and dance and bake and write philosophy.
It has been an eye-opening experience to look at the world through these lenses. I now can actively commit to a widened world-view that includes recognizing my privelege, and being careful to both listen to the voices of others and not to take advantage of the privelege I do not deserve. I am also in a better place to be more considerate and thankful for all the lucky bits that make me who I am.
How priveleged are you?


text:
by no_01
Four men looked out at the world from the ledge of a high mountain and they, one to another, asked, 'How was it that this came to be?
' The first man, dressed in red, stepped before his colleagues and said to them,
'Is it not abundantly clear that all the land before us was created by the higher powers? I believe that god looked down upon the formless and gave it form, creating all that we know today.
And from this god, we were granted our higher reason and logic, and with that, it is our ability and duty to praise him for giving to us life.'
And after he had said these things, the second man, dressed in yellow, began to speak,
'Nay, I would say that the world was not created by mindless superstition. Rather, the world was created by the random formation of a ball of rock in the zone of habitation around our sun.
The world then shifted to become habitable, gaining dirt from which the plants would grow, which in turn fed the animals that evolved.
Science allows us to take a look at the past and see it for what it really was, not one veiled in myth.'
After the second man had said these things, the third man stepped forward. He, dressed in green, began to speak,
'Please my brothers, stay your tongues. Let us not talk of this, but rather get off of the mountain. Can you not see that the ledge we stand on is not fixed, but instead is fleeting?'
But even as he spoke these words, the fourth man pushed him aside, telling him to be silent. In turn, the third man walked away from the ledge, back onto the mountain.
Then, the fourth man, dressed in white, spoke,
'There is no need to fight. Hold your venom to yourself for you cannot know. We have no evidence for either being true, but only faith.
The god you speak of may be real, and the science you speak of may be true, but we can never know.
Please, accept this fact that god might exist and that science may be true, and be done with the matter.'
Yet, despite all of these sayings, the three men on the ledge could not stop arguing.
They could not accept that the others believe something different, and the sound of the rock ledge cracking could not be heard over their verve.
And as they spat their venom, the rock shifted, and the men fell as the third man watched from afar.
Find more stories like this one bysigning up!


text:
Even if you don't want them anymore...there's still this pain that resurfaces when you realize that you're no longer necessary, that you're no longer part of the plan... that they no longer want you. It's probably one of the hardest parts about breaking up. Admitting that there's actually someone better out there for them than you.
The sting doesn't ever seem to go away. Even though it's been over a decade since some of my break-ups, there's still the prick of a reminder that someone else was better suited for them. It fades, sure... but it's still there.
It's hard to not immediately go into my little pity party mode. It's hard to look at things objectively and rationally and truly put others before myself. It's hard to not think about the one million things that must be wrong with me that make me unable to maintain a relationship, or unable for someone to want to be with me for the long haul.
It's actually funny how much I notice self-deprecation when it comes out in other people, but seem perfectly oblivious to it within myself. When others are hard on themselves or unable to see any sort of good that they have to offer, it's so frustrating to me. How come they can't see the good? How come they can't believe in themselves? How come they have to be so consumed by the negative? I don't get it. I'm not like that...
And then my eldest brother told me how I am like that. I am always putting myself down.
He's right.
I do.
It's this form of self-preservation, I think. Even the good things that happen to me, it can never happen because I'm actually good or talented or desirable--but there's always a hidden motive, reason, excuse for why something good could actually happen to me. I'm too scared to ever hope for anything different.
I don't believe in me.
And the break ups remind me that I wasn't good enough. They're proof that I cling to show the world I was right. The moving on allows me to believe that someone else will always be better than me. It perpetuates this spiral of thinking that I'll always lose, I'll always fail.
Self-fulfilling prophecy.
There's an opportunity for things to be different. For me to be different. There's that opportunity for you, too. The question always becomes about whether or not we want to change. It seems easier for me to mope and be sad and lonely, believing that I'm ultimately incapable of anything good or that people don't genuinely care about me without any hidden motive. It's much harder to go through life hoping and believing...when the risk of disappointment is so high. It's much harder to keep going through life hoping and believing...even when there is disappointment and heartache.
I want to change.
Do you?
The self-loathing has to stop. We can't keep searching for every reason to feel sorry for ourselves, to think we're failures, to feel like we'll never get it right. From our ex's moving on, to not getting a job, to getting a bad grade, to messing up a recipe... whatever big or small thing: these are not the things that define us.
My circumstances shouldn't change who I am. My feelings shouldn't change who I am.
I suppose it's about time to start really believing that.
Let's seize this opportunity for a second chance... another chance to be different, to believe in who we really are. And may that transform everything else...even when they move on.
* * *
Your entries will remain anonymous


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Hi I'm Justine, I'd like to welcome you to The Powder Room – my boutique beauty therapy clinic located within a beautiful historic homestead from 1860.
From your first visit to The Powder Room, you'll immediately see that my specialty is attention to detail – from the décor of the clinic to the lush cottage gardens; from facials to pedicures; from waxing to electrolysis – my goal is always to make you feel beautiful inside & out by the time you depart.
I have over 15 years of experience, having trained in 2001, gaining my CIBTAC and ITEC Diplomas with Excellence in Beauty & Body Therapy and Electrology. Following my training, I set up the first in-house clinic for local skincare company, Living Nature. I then worked with them as their sole therapist, and was additionally responsible for liaising with their Auckland product educator & trainer to help train other therapists within the company.
After three years with Living Nature I needed a change of pace and worked for another local clinic part time, before taking the plunge to achieve my dream of setting up my own boutique clinic.
It is always a total mind, body & soul experience when you come to The Powder Room. As a client, you will have your own private access to the front of the house where you can relax on the veranda, take a moment to smell the flowers in the enchanting cottage garden or just make your way inside to our art-deco inspired waiting room, ready to curl up in a comfy armchair with a great magazine.
I often find that clients try to come early just so they can spend more time in the peaceful surroundings of the clinic & gardens, and let their stress start to melt away.


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Cast Brass Spitfire Car MascotA splendid cast metal model of a Supermarine Spitfire, made as a car mascot, on original brass upright; circa 1945. Mounted on new milled aluminium base.Enquire
Dimensions: 6½ inches/16.5 cm (length) x 7½ inches/19 cm (wingspan) x 5 inches/12.5 cm (max. height on base)#This item is now sold.
Please do enquire if you would like us to help find something similar.
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Sorry, there are no upcoming events
Grit Lit is a twice-yearly platform to present gritty, unromantic short stories and stranger-than-fiction tales in Brighton.
Starting on the fringes of Brighton Fringe in May 2009, the events are organised by and for writers.
"Fiction that grabs the reader by the throat and doesn't let him go until you're through with him." – Larry Brown, The Rabbit Factory