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Hello! WELCOME TO TOP TEN TUESDAY. This is a weekly meme featured on The Broke and Bookish.
This feature was created because we are particularly fond of lists here at The Broke and the Bookish. We'd love to share our lists with other bookish folks and would LOVE to see your top ten lists!
Each week we will post a new Top Ten list that one of our bloggers here at The Broke and the Bookish will answer. Everyone is welcome to join. All we ask is that you link back to The Broke and the Bookish on your own Top Ten Tuesday post and, if you want to, add your name to the Linky widget on that day's posts (typically put up midnight EST on Tuesday) so that everyone can check out other bloggers lists! If you don't have a blog, just post your answers as a comment. Have fun with it! It's a fun way to get to know your fellow bloggers.
This Tuesday is: Best Books You've Read In 2017 So Far (break it down however you want — by genre, strictly 2017 releases, whatever!)
So, I've been on quite a long hiatus from reading this year, so this will be a relatively short compilation of 2017 books I've read since it's only 6 (my year goal is 50 so I have a long road ahead of me lol)
a crown of wishes by roshani chokshi
published: march 28th 2017
series: the star-touched queen series
amazon ・ barnes and noble ・ goodreads
An ancient mystery. An unlikely union. For one young princess in a state of peril, a dangerous wish could be the only answer…
She is the princess of Bharata—captured by her kingdom's enemies, a prisoner of war. Now that she faces a future of exile and scorn, Gauri has nothing left to lose. But should she trust Vikram, the notoriously cunning prince of a neighboring land? He promises her freedom in exchange for her battle prowess. Together they can team up and win the Tournament of Wishes, a competition held in a mythical city where the Lord of Wealth promises a wish to the victor. It seems like a foolproof plan—until Gauri and Vikram arrive at the tournament and find that danger takes on new shapes: poisonous courtesans, mischievous story birds, a feast of fears, and twisted fairy revels. New trials will test their devotion, strength, and wits. But what Gauri and Vikram will soon discover is that there's nothing more dangerous than what they most desire.
I didn't write a review for this book, and while I wish I had a good excuse for not doing so I was just feeling lazy tbh. I ended up rating it 3 stars, despite enjoying it more than it predecessor (which I believe I gave 4 stars to). The romance was more well developed and there was even a bit of humor incorporated in this book that I remember the first one was missing. However, Chokshi's writing is still as lovely as I remembered it being. This is a great book/series if you're in between books and in the mood for some romantic fantasy series with great writing and original world building.
strange the dreamer by laini taylor
published: march 28th 2017
series: strange the dreamer series
amazon ・ barnes and noble ・ goodreads
The dream chooses the dreamer, not the other way around—and Lazlo Strange, war orphan and junior librarian, has always feared that his dream chose poorly. Since he was five years old he's been obsessed with the mythic lost city of Weep, but it would take someone bolder than he to cross half the world in search of it. Then a stunning opportunity presents itself, in the person of a hero called the Godslayer and a band of legendary warriors, and he has to seize his chance or lose his dream forever.
What happened in Weep two hundred years ago to cut it off from the rest of the world? What exactly did the Godslayer slay that went by the name of god? And what is the mysterious problem he now seeks help in solving?
The answers await in Weep, but so do more mysteries—including the blue-skinned goddess who appears in Lazlo's dreams. How did he dream her before he knew she existed? And if all the gods are dead, why does she seem so real?
Welcome to Weep.
I thoroughly enjoyed this story when I read it and although some of the magic has faded now, I would still recommend this one. Laini Taylor captured my attention with her Daughter of Smoke and Bone series and she continues to prove here that she is a chameleon when it comes to writing/creating new stories.
flame in the mist by renee ahdieh
published: may 16th 2017
series: flame in the mist series
amazon ・ barnes & noble ・ goodreads
The only daughter of a prominent samurai, Mariko has always known she'd been raised for one purpose and one purpose only: to marry. Never mind her cunning, which rivals that of her twin brother, Kenshin, or her skills as an accomplished alchemist. Since Mariko was not born a boy, her fate was sealed the moment she drew her first breath.
So, at just seventeen years old, Mariko is sent to the imperial palace to meet her betrothed, a man she did not choose, for the very first time. But the journey is cut short when Mariko's convoy is viciously attacked by the Black Clan, a dangerous group of bandits who've been hired to kill Mariko before she reaches the palace.
The lone survivor, Mariko narrowly escapes to the woods, where she plots her revenge. Dressed as a peasant boy, she sets out to infiltrate the Black Clan and hunt down those responsible for the target on her back. Once she's within their ranks, though, Mariko finds for the first time she's appreciated for her intellect and abilities. She even finds herself falling in love—a love that will force her to question everything she's ever known about her family, her purpose, and her deepest desires.
Now this is a story that has stuck with me since reading it. I'll admit, it has it's flaws. But this is the kind of story that even when you notice the flaws, you really can't find it within yourself to care. At least, that's what I experienced. Definitely keeping an eye on this series and on this author!
it ends with us by colleen hoover
published: august 2nd 2016
series: standalone
amazon ・ barnes and noble ・ goodreads
Lily hasn't always had it easy, but that's never stopped her from working hard for the life she wants. She's come a long way from the small town in Maine where she grew up – she graduated from college, moved to Boston, and started her own business. So when she feels a spark with a gorgeous neurosurgeon named Ryle Kincaid, everything in Lily's life suddenly seems almost too good to be true.
Ryle is assertive, stubborn, and maybe even a little arrogant. He's also sensitive, brilliant, and has a total soft spot for Lily, but Ryle's complete aversion to relationships is disturbing.
As questions about her new relationship overwhelm her, so do thoughts of Atlas Corrigan – her first love and a link to the past she left behind. He was her kindred spirit, her protector. When Atlas suddenly reappears, everything Lily has built with Ryle is threatened.
With this bold and deeply personal novel, Colleen Hoover delivers a heart-wrenching story that breaks exciting new ground for her as a writer. It Ends With Us is an unforgettable tale of love that comes at the ultimate price.
This book contains graphic scenes and very sensitive subject matter.
Graphic scenes and sensitive subject matter, indeed. There is a great deal to learn and take from this book. I'm still hit with The Feels just thinking about It Ends with Us. I didn't give it a great rating, but the message is important and one I think everyone and anyone can benefit from.
caraval by stephanie garber
published: january 31st 2017
series: caraval series
amazon ・ barnes and noble ・ goodreads
Remember, it's only a game…
Scarlett Dragna has never left the tiny island where she and her sister, Tella, live with their powerful, and cruel, father. Now Scarlett's father has arranged a marriage for her, and Scarlett thinks her dreams of seeing Caraval—the faraway, once-a-year performance where the audience participates in the show—are over.
But this year, Scarlett's long-dreamt-of invitation finally arrives. With the help of a mysterious sailor, Tella whisks Scarlett away to the show. Only, as soon as they arrive, Tella is kidnapped by Caraval's mastermind organizer, Legend. It turns out that this season's Caraval revolves around Tella, and whoever finds her first is the winner.
Scarlett has been told that everything that happens during Caraval is only an elaborate performance. Nevertheless she becomes enmeshed in a game of love, heartbreak, and magic. And whether Caraval is real or not, Scarlett must find Tella before the five nights of the game are over or a dangerous domino effect of consequences will be set off, and her beloved sister will disappear forever.
Welcome, welcome to Caraval…beware of getting swept too far away.
This book was wilding disappointing. It had all the ingredients for being a spectacular read, but somewhere along the line never made it past the "potential" phase. The ending, however, did open me up to the possibility of picking up the second book. Maybe.
the iron king by julie kagawa
published: february 1st 2010
series: the iron fey series
amazon ・ barnes and noble ・ goodreads
Meghan Chase has a secret destiny; one she could never have imagined.
Something has always felt slightly off in Meghan's life, ever since her father disappeared before her eyes when she was six. She has never quite fit in at school or at home.
When a dark stranger begins watching her from afar, and her prankster best friend becomes strangely protective of her, Meghan senses that everything she's known is about to change.
But she could never have guessed the truth – that she is the daughter of a mythical faery king and is a pawn in a deadly war. Now Meghan will learn just how far she'll go to save someone she cares about, to stop a mysterious evil, no faery creature dare face; and to find love with a young prince who might rather see her dead than let her touch his icy heart.
This book was the worst. The end.


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What's Nursing Home Abuse?

subset: commoncrawl


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Davido Savagely Denies Knowing Self-Acclaimed, Controversial Investigative Journalist; Kemi Olunloyo || Watch Video
GC Posted On: Jan 18, 2019
Davido who is currently in the UK for a media round-up for his upcoming show at the 02 Arena, London on the 27th of January, 2018, has denied knowing journalist, Kemi Olunloyo.
The superstar in an interview in the UK was asked by a caller on what he feels about what the controversial journalist has been saying about his personal life and the alleged circumstances that surrounds his mother's death and instead of giving a detailed response, the singer replies; "who is Kemi? i don't know her!"
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40 Year Old Virgin – Movie Quotes
We compiled some of the best 40 Year Old Virgin quotes from around the web, check them out!
Mooj: Hey Andy, don't let him bother you. It's okay not to have sex. Not eveybody's a pussy magnet. You, uh, what are you, 25?
Andy Stitzer: I'm 40.
Mooj: Holy shit, man, you got to get on that!
Cal: You're gay now?
David: No, I'm not gay. I'm just celibate.
Cal: I think… I mean, that sounds gay. I just want you to know this is, like, the first conversation of, like, three conversations that leads to you being gay. Like, there's this, and then in a year it's like, "Oh, you know, I'm kinda gonna want to get back out there, but I think I like guys," and then there's the big, "Oh, I'm… I'm… I'm a gay guy now."
David: [smirks] You're gay for saying that.
Cal: I'm gay for saying that?
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? How do you know I'm gay?
David: Because you macramed yourself a pair of jean shorts.
Cal: You know how I know *you're* gay? You just told me you're not sleeping with women any more.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How? 'Cause you're gay? And you can tell who other gay people are?
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like Coldplay.
Beth: [Andy is following Cal's advice to only ask questions when talking to a woman] Can I help you?
Andy Stitzer: I don't know. Can you?
Beth: Are you looking for something?
Andy Stitzer: Is there something I should be looking for?
Beth: We have a lot of books, so maybe it depends on what you like.
Andy Stitzer: What, um, what do you like?
Beth: We have a great section of do-it-yourself.
Andy Stitzer: Do you like to do it yourself?
Beth: [giggles] Sometimes… if, um, the mood strikes!
Andy Stitzer: How is the mood striking you now?
Beth: [they both laugh] What's your name?
Andy Stitzer: What's your name?
Beth: I'm Beth.
Andy Stitzer: Andy.
Beth: Andy… Don't tell on me, okay Andy?
Andy Stitzer: I won't… unless you want to be told on, Beth.
[walks away]
Jill: Are you Andy?
Andy Stitzer: Uh… yeah.
Jill: [holds up Jay's card] Is this yours? Did you write this stuff?
Jay: My girlfriend Jill found *your* speed dating card.
[raises his eyebrows]
Andy Stitzer: [Covering] Oh! Yeah… right. God, I've been looking for that speed dating card. Thank you so much for bringing it to me.
Jill: So you actually wrote that one girl looked like she was "hurtin' for a squirtin'"?
Andy Stitzer: [Stunned] Mmm-hmm… yeah, "hurtin' for a squirtin'". Yeah, I wrote that.
Jill: Oh, so you wrote, "ho fo' sho'".
Andy Stitzer: [Embarrassed] Yeah, I remember that girl. She was a ho… for sho'.
Jill: You are never going to meet anyone with that kind of mentality about women, you sick son of a bitch!
Andy Stitzer: Who the… Who the fuck are you to put me on trial? I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, all right? And stop with the inquisition.
Jill: That's how you talk?
Andy Stitzer: You know what? I don't have to answer to you, you ain't my bitch! Know what I sayin'? So, shit, man… fuck it!
Jill: [to Jay] You shouldn't even be hanging out with this pervert.
Jay: I don't hang out with him! I work with him and that's it! I tried to introduce him to a few nice people, he made a fool of himself. I don't mess with him, baby. That's not me.
Andy Stitzer: You should keep your ho on a leash.
Jay: Oh, bro, I can't let you talk…
Andy Stitzer: Hey!
Jay: I can't let you be talking to my woman that way, dawg.
Andy Stitzer: Hey, hey! Bitch's running wild, man.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: Your dick tastes like shit.
Mooj: Go fuck a goat.
Jay: What are you gonna do, bitch?
Smart Tech Customer: I'll tell you what. You know Luca Perry from 20th and 25th?
Jay: You ever heard of rolling twenties, nigga? Since I was sixteen, nigga, I'm saying "frosty." You know what I'm saying? "Spoon", nigga. We fucked dwarves in the ass!
Smart Tech Customer: Nigga, this dwarf here don't got to be tall to pull a trigger off in somebody face!
Andy Stitzer: [walks up quickly] Good afternoon! Good afternoon! Welcome to Smart Tech. What can I help you with?
Smart Tech Customer: [points at Jay] Is this your boy?
Jay: Yeah, nigga, we will both mash you! What? What? Where you at?
Andy Stitzer: Hey, how can we help you, sir?
Jay: No, no, he don't need no help! He's already been served. I served him. He's taken care of. He's a little slow, but he got it. See, what he thought was he can come up here and make the rules. But now, he see that Jay make the rules at Smart Tech, that I run this bitch, and now he 'bout to bounce!
Smart Tech Customer: This your boy?
Jay: Yeah, nigga, that's my boy. We rep the same Smart Tech.
Smart Tech Customer: [points at Andy] You just got fucked up with him. Both ya'll niggas gonna get clapped up when I get back.
[pretends to shoot two guns at them]
Smart Tech Customer: Both ya'll niggas!
Andy Stitzer: What? What did I do?
Smart Tech Customer: It don't fucking matter!
Jay: Yeah, well, aim high, Willis. Aim high!
David: [to a shirtless Andy, who has an incredibly hairy chest] I love your sweater. Does that come in a V-neck?
Mooj: Life is about people. It's about connections.
Andy Stitzer: It's all about connections.
Mooj: It's not about cocks, and ass, and tits.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Mooj: And butthole pleasures.
Andy Stitzer: It's not about butthole pleasures at all.
Mooj: It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez.
Andy Stitzer: Please stop.
Mooj: And these cincinatti bowties, and these pussy juice cocktail, and these shit stained balls.
Andy Stitzer: Mooj, just please stop.
Cal: Oh, man, I had a weekend.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah?
Cal: We went to Tijuana, Mexico, you know? And we thought it would be fun, you know, to go to a show. Everybody says you gotta check out one of these shows. And… it's a woman fuckin' a horse. We get there and we think it's gonna be awesome and… it is not as cool as it sounds like it's gonna be. It's kinda gross.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Cal: You think "A woman fuckin' a horse" and you get there and… it's a woman fucking a horse.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Cal: It was really giving it to her. And you know what? To be honest I just felt bad for her, we all just felt bad for her.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Cal: I kinda felt bad for the horse!
Andy Stitzer: Wow, that's something.
Cal: So what about you? What did you get up to?
Andy Stitzer: You know, I just kinda hung out. I was…
Andy Stitzer: Oh man, Friday, I really wanted an egg salad sandwich and I was just obsessing about it and I was like, 'Man, I'm gonna make one of those.' So Saturday, I went out and got, like, a dozen eggs and then I boiled them all and I just, I spent, I dunno, probably three hours, like three and a half hours making, you know, the mayonnaise, and the onions and paprika and, you know, the necessary accoutrement. And then, by the time I was done, I didn't really feel like like eating it.
Cal: I can imagine.
Andy Stitzer: And I didn't have any bread.
Andy Stitzer: So you know, it was pretty good. It was a good weekend.
Cal: Sounds pretty awesome.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah, it was fine.
Cal: Sounds really fun.
Cal: Cool… Cool cool.
Cal: [Andy turns away and Cal mimics blowing his own brains out with a finger pistol]
Mooj: Everybody dick look big on 60-inch TV, my sister's dick look big on TV.
[about how he knew the prostitute was really a transvestite]
Andy Stitzer: She had hands as big as Andre the Giant's, and she had an Adam's apple as big as her balls.
David: Hey, Paula.
Paula: Yeah?
David: I gotta tell you something. I'm really excited about it. Uh, for the first time today, I woke up, I came to the store, and I feel confident to say to you that if you don't take this Michael McDonald DVD that you've been playing for two years straight off, I'm going to kill everyone in the store and put a bullet in my brain.
Paula: David, what do you suggest we play?
David: I don't care. Anything. I would rather… I would rather watch "Beautician and the Beast". I would rather listen to Fran Drescher for eight hours than have to listen to Michael McDonald. Nothing against him, but if I hear "Yah Mo B There" one more time, I'm going to "Yah Mo" burn this place to the ground.
Paula: You're such a smartass. Get back on the floor.
[Paula walks away]
David: [cough-mutters] Ah-fuck you!
[the waxing lady is putting the first coat of wax on Andy's chest]
Cal: If she starts waxing his pubes, I'm outta here.
Andy Stitzer: Is it true that if you don't *use* it, you *lose* it?
Health Clinic Counselor: Is that a serious question?
Andy Stitzer: No, it wasn't.
Cal: [talking about Trish being a grandma] You should fuck her and then have her send you $12 on your birthday.
Health Clinic Counselor: Now, there are ways of having sex without intercourse. Let's see, there are things like body rubbing or dry humping.
Andy Stitzer: You could dry hump.
Health Clinic Counselor: There's masturbation.
Andy Stitzer: Masturbation. Play with yourself.
Health Clinic Counselor: Mutual masturbation.
Andy Stitzer: Play with a friend.
Andy Stitzer: Take your porn with you.
David: I'm not taking it.
Andy Stitzer: [following David to the front door] Take your box o' porn!
David: It's my gift to you.
Andy Stitzer: No, I don't want it. David it's not… just… just…
David: [shouting] Andy for the last time, I don't want your giant box of pornography!
Andy Stitzer: No no no, just- Come on man! So uncool!
David: No…
[continues shouting]
David: Uncool? Uncool is trying to give an honest man a big box of porn, Andy!
Waxing Lady: Oh!
Waxing Lady: We gonna need more wax!
Waxing Lady: And cancel all my afternoon appointments!
Smart Tech Customer: Wait, wait, wait, last thing, last thing. I'm also gonna need that extended warranty on it for the price of… on the house. Hmm?
Jay: That I can't do…
Smart Tech Customer: Now, don't be a negro, be my nigga. Help me out.
Jay: Whoa, whoa, whoa… I ain't nobody's nigga.
Smart Tech Customer: Well, you somebody's nigga, wearin this nigga tie.
Jay: Now you're being condescending, see? You've been warned, 'aight? Now, let's move forward amicably.
Smart Tech Customer: Well, 'aight, check this out, dawg. First of all, you throwin' too many big words at me, and because I don't understand them, I'm gonna take 'em as disrespect. Watch your mouth and help me with the sale.
Jay: Okay, see… see, now you found yourself a nigga. You was lookin' for a nigga? Nigga here now!
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You like the movie "Maid in Manhattan".
Cal: You know how I know you're gay?
David: How?
Cal: I saw you make a spinach dip in a loaf of sourdough bread once.
David: You know how I know that you're gay?
Cal: How?
David: You have a rainbow bumpersticker on your car that says, "I love it when balls are in my face".
Cal: That's gay?
David: [loses his second "Mortal Kombat" match] Goddamn it!
Cal: I'm ripping your head off right now. It's off. And now I'm throwing it at your body.
[David's character explodes]
Cal: [shouts] Fuck you!
David: Aww…
Andy Stitzer: You know what? I respect women! I love women! I respect them so much that I completely stay away from them!
Jay: [to Mooj] Why you always telling me to go fuck a goat?
Haziz: [to Jay] So, tell me, Montel. Why weren't we invited to the party? What are we, Al Qaeda?
Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin. I always have been.
Andy Stitzer: You should keep your ho on a leash.
David: You know how I know you're gay? You have a rainbow bumper sticker on your car that says, "I like it when balls are in my face."
Cal: That's gay?
[while Jay and the Customer are arguing]
Haziz: Today's forecast? Dark and cloudy, and chance of drive-by.
Andy Stitzer: [after partial chest wax] This is not a good look for me!
Cal: Be David Caruso in "Jade."
Andy Stitzer: Oh, ok, I know exactly what you're talking about.
Cal: You've gotta wait till the seed grows into a plant. Then you've gotta fuck the plant.
Andy Stitzer: [defending himself from Trish's comments on him riding a bicycle] Einstein rode a bike!
Trish: He had a wife, who he fucked, by the way!
Andy Stitzer: [while getting his chest waxed] Aaaah, I hate you! Stop smiling, you jerk!
Mooj: [talking to a customer] This is a great TV. Nothing beats a plasma.
Jay: What are you doing? That's my customer.
Mooj: It certainly is not. When I came upon her, she was unattended
Jay: No, no, that's my… She was unattended because I went to the back to get the brochure she requested.
Mooj: I apologize, but it's too late. The transaction is completed.
Jay: Then you gonna give me half the commission.
Mooj: You will receive none of the commission.
Jay: I need to talk to Paula. This is crazy, man!
Mooj: This is bullshit! Every time I make a sale, you go crying to Paula. How about… how about Jesse Jackson? Oh, Jesse, he needs a call…
Jay: I'm sick of you poaching my customers.
Mooj: I'm sick of your crybaby bullshit!
Jay: You wanna take this shit outside? You wanna just take it outside and just squash it?
Mooj: Let's stay inside so everybody can see what a pussy you have, okay? Because when I remove the blade I keep in my boot from its sheath, I cannot return it until it has spilt blood.
Jay: Listen to me, listen to me! You are fucking with the wrong nigger.
Mooj: Hey, hey! You are fucking with the wrong sand nigger, okay?
Jay: I will hang your old ass by your turban!
Mooj: [Mooj has a very definite Indian accent] Oh, turban, now! Do you see any fucking turban here? Do I talk like a turban guy? Do I say, "Hey, Jay, you want a slurpee? You want a slurpee?" Fuck you, okay? I was born in Brooklyn. Brooklyn, okay? My accent is a fucking Brooklyn accent, okay? Okay?
Jay: All right, man. Calm down, dude! Look… you still covering my shift on Friday or what?
Mooj: If I can keep this commission… with pleasure.
Jay: Cool, man. All right, pops.
[They hug; Jay leaves]
David: I went out with this girl for four months and it was the greatest greatest thing in my life. Until she went down on this guy in an Escalade, I think. And, you know, instead of, like, saying, "Okay, what am I doing that caused this behavior?" I dumped her. Stupid decision. I spent the last two years of my life regretting it.
Andy Stitzer: Well, why don't you get her back right now?
David: Oh, cause she's dating this pot dealer. Stupid, horrible decision. But, hey, that's her journey, you know. I gotta respect that. She wants to be some immature little bitch and blow everybody, that's… that's love, man.
Andy Stitzer: It sounds horrible.
David: Of course it's horrible. It's suffering and it's pain and it's… You know, you lose weight and then you put back on weight, and then you, you know, you call them a bunch of times and you try and email, and then they move or they change their email, but that's just love.
David: [the same Michael McDonald sampler DVD has been playing on all of the television screens for the last two years] If I have to hear "Yamo Be There" one more time, I'm going to "Yamo" burn this place to the ground.
[last lines]
Trish: So how was it?
Beth: We could do it in the… butt, if you want.
Andy Stitzer: But if I want what?
Beth: You know… butt!
Andy Stitzer: But… what?
Cal: Listen, when I was growing pot, I realized that the more seeds I planted, the more pot I could ultimately smoke.
Andy Stitzer: I think I've got all the advice I can handle right now.
Cal: Don't get bitter.
Andy Stitzer: I'm not getting bitter. I almost lost a nipple, okay?
Cal: That was Jay's idea, and I wasn't going to say anything, but waxing your chest is the gayest thing you could possibly do. Look at me: looks are not important. *Really* look at me. I am ugly as fuck by traditional standards, but, I get with women. Aren't you curious as to how that's possible?
Andy Stitzer: I am not ugly as fuck.
Cal: I didn't say you were ugly as fuck.
Andy Stitzer: Well, you implied it.
Cal: Okay, okay, it doesn't matter if you're ugly as fuck, or you're ugly as shit. It's about *talking* to women, and I know how to do that because I observe, because I am a novelist.
Andy Stitzer: What? You never told me that before.
Cal: That's because I'm not an arrogant prick, Andy.
Andy Stitzer: Wow, this place is crowded.
David: Yeah, well, you know… nine dollar beer night.
Jay: [to Andy, in a bar] All you got to do is use your instincts. How do you think a lion knows to tackle a gazelle? It's written, it's a code written in his DNA, says, "Tackle the gazelle." And believe it or not, in every man there's a code written that says, "Tackle drunk bitches."
Nicky: You have really kind eyes, you know that?
Andy Stitzer: Thanks. Umm… your hat has sequins.
Cal: I hired a 90-lb girl to work in the stock room at Smart Tech for you, okay? I should've hired a 300-lb guy to lift the 60-inch flat screen, but instead I hired a hot girl who can't lift an iPod to bring you out of your funk.
Boy at Health Clinic: Hey, do you have any extra large condoms?
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, Seth, please! You have a tiny penis…
Andy Stitzer: How many pots have you smoken?
David: [watching The Bourne Identity] Y'know, I always thought that Matt Damon was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the shit in this one!
Andy Stitzer: [talking to himself, whilst riding his bicycle] Yeah, well, virgin's not a dirty word. You know what's a dirty word, is asshole, and that's what you guys are. You know, I may not have had sex, but I could fuck you up.
Andy Stitzer: I just don't want a big box of porn in my apartment.
David: There's some really great stuff in here. Really great movies in here, man. Hey, did you ever see School of Rock?
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
David: Well, this is… It's called School of… You know…
Andy Stitzer: That's nice.
David: But it stars Jack Black Cock.
Andy Stitzer: That makes sense.
Paula: [Discussing what to do while spending a week stoned] I'll probably re-watch "Gandhi".
Cal: "Gandhi" baked is good. I always feel bad when I watch it baked because I get really hungry and I'm eating a lot and poor Gandhi is starving his ass off.
Haziz: Do you know how I know you're gay? Because you are holding each other ever so gently.
Jay: He sold his old toys for over half a million dollars! We gotta get some fucking toys!
Cal: [of his first thoughts on Andy] I kinda thought you were a serial killer.
Andy Stitzer: Oh.
Cal: No, I'm serious.
Mooj: [to Jay] Tell me something, when your child is born, is he already on parole?
David: [David talking about his ex girlfriend] Yeah… she's adorable… fuckin' bitch.
Smart Tech Customer: [points to a TV playing a Michael McDonald DVD] If I get the set, will you throw in the DVD?
David: Tell you what. You *don't* get the set and I'll throw in the DVD.
David: You know how I know you're gay?
Cal: Because you're gay so you can tell who the gay people are.
Jay: Dude, it's not a big deal that you like to fuck guys. I'm cool, I got friends who fuck guys… in jail.
Andy Stitzer: [looking at an anatomy model of a vagina] Where do you put the penis?
[about Andy telling Trish he's a virgin]
Andy Stitzer: What if she laughs at me?
Cal: Then you punch her in the fucking head.
David: Dude, you look like a man-o-lantern.
[Pick-up line]
Andy Stitzer: I hope you have a big trunk… because I'm puttin' my bike in it.
Trish: [on the bed, kissing] Do you have protection?
Andy Stitzer: I don't like guns.
Andy Stitzer: That girl was a ho… for sho.
Health Clinic Counselor: Oral sex play…
Boy at Health Clinic: Sounds like my Friday night.
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, shut up Seth, we went to temple.
Trish: What is this, your roofie, your date drug?
Andy Stitzer: It's a mentos. They're the freshmaker.
Andy Stitzer: [Calling to Trish, who is out of the room] Do you mind if I use your, uh, magnum?
Trish: [From the other room. Excited] Umm… Yeah!
Andy Stitzer: [stretches condom over arm] Wow.
[while watching Jay's girlfriend's ultrasound]
Andy Stitzer: Is this the movie about babies that are geniuses?
Andy Stitzer: [motioning to David's box of porn] I don't want this stuff, okay? Because I don't do that, that much.
David: What, masturbate?
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
David: Dude, I've jacked it twice since I've been here. Are you kidding me? Why not?
Andy Stitzer: It's not a hobby of mine.
David: Well, then, that's the only hobby you don't have.
Cal: The problem most men have is they don't know how to talk to women.
Andy Stitzer: You know what my problem is? I am not interesting. What am I supposed to say? I went to magic camp? That I'm an accomplished ventriloquist? Oh, I *am* the Seventh Degree Imperial Yo-Yo Master. "Ooh, do me, Yo-Yo Master, I want you to do me cause you're the yo-yo guy!"
Trish: [phone rings] Hello?
Andy Stitzer: Hey, how you doing?
Trish: Um… how you doing?
Andy Stitzer: I'm well.
Trish: Who is this?
Andy Stitzer: This is… James.
[hits himself with the phone]
Trish: James? Do I know you, James?
Andy Stitzer: [stammering] I was wondering whether you had a few minutes to talk about a little laundry detergent.
Trish: Are you a telemarketer, James?
Andy Stitzer: Yep.
Trish: Are you at the top of a tall building? Can you get to a roof quickly? Jump off! I mean, you people are sick. Get a real fucking job, why don't you? Go shoot yourself in the fucking head! Hey, why don't you just, you know, get a knife and run into it? Why don't you do that, huh?
Andy Stitzer: Okay.
Trish: All right, I'll see you later, James.
Andy Stitzer: Nice to talk to you.
Trish: Fuck your mother, okay? Bye-bye.
[hangs up]
Cal: [Angrily] You need to stop fucking around with my friend, okay? Because you're giving him hope, and it's driving the man crazy!
Amy: I moved, I changed my email address, my phone number. Okay? He's practically stalking me.
Cal: [Still trying to act angry] Well… I didn't know all that. So, I'm sorry.
David: Remember that time we made love and you just started crying in my arms?
Amy: Please don't reminisce about the times we fucked. Please! It's so creepy.
David: I want to take you to Paris and make love to you under the Eiffel Tower.
Amy: Stop it!
David: Stop what?
Amy: This whole Paris thing! I've been broken up with you for, like, two years, man. I don't want to date you anymore!
David: You're a whore.
Amy: I am not a whore! I just didn't like you!
David: [grinning] Ha… this is so us.
Amy: Heh heh heh… psycho talk.
Waxing Lady: So this is your first time getting body wax?
Andy Stitzer: Yes. Yes, it is.
Waxing Lady: Take off your shirt.
Andy Stitzer: Ok.
[Andy takes off his shirt, revealing a very hairy torso]
Waxing Lady: [calls out] Oh… we gonna need more wax!
Cal: I'm staying. This is gonna be good.
Waxing Lady: [calls out] And clear all my appointments in the afternoon!
Jay: Nastiest shit you've ever done? I'm talkin' about *nasty*!
Andy Stitzer: Ahh… wow. So many stories are running through my head right now.
[pauses, then lies]
Andy Stitzer: I dated this girl for a while. She was really a… nasty freak. She just loved to get down with sex all the time. It was like… anytime of day, she was like, "Yeah, let's go! I'm so nasty!" And I'd be nailing her and she'd be like, "Oh, you're nailing me! Cool!"
Andy Stitzer: I'm gonna tell her.
Cal: You should totally tell her.
Andy Stitzer: I'm going to.
Cal: 'Cause I watched this movie called "Liar Liar" and the message was, "*Don't* lie." And that was a smart movie.
Haziz: So tell me something Montell… Why were we not invited to your party? Are we Al Qaeda?
Jay: Whoa first of all it's not that kind of party.
Mooj: You know what? We are not coming to your fucking party okay? Fuck you! Go fuck a goat!
Jay: It's not that kind of party dawg
Mooj: Fuck you! Go fuck a goat
Jay: Hey why you always telling me to go fuck a goat man?
Mooj: [Yelling as he walks away] Fuck a goat!
Jay: Wassup, dawg, what happened? How was the date with Trish?
Andy Stitzer: Oh, it was a disaster.
Cal: Really?
Andy Stitzer: Yes, I've never been more embarrassed in my life. I couldn't get the condoms to work, and one of them exploded on my balls. And then, her kid walked in the room…
Jay: Woah. Wait. Hold up. She was hiding the kid from you, dawg?
Andy Stitzer: You know what? It doesn't matter. Because it was goin' downhill straight from there.
Jay: Listen, you don't want no baby daddy drama. Trust me on this one, aight? For all you know, he in prison right now. Let's say y'all livin' together. Next thing you know, you the one gone on the first and the fifteenth, huh, to pick up the government check? What if he got boys that's on the outside? And they stalkin' you? See what I'm sayin? You gotta think, patna!
Andy Stitzer: What the fuck are you talking about?
Porn Star: [Andy is trying to fantasize about a porn star while masturbating] Hi Andy. I'm gonna talk dirty to you. I wanna have lots of sexy sex with you. I wanna touch your big fat
[becomes Andy's voice]
Porn Star: noodle. 'Cause I wanna have naughty intercourse with you. I want you to put your penis on… I mean in me, Andy. I wanna do lots of sexy hot things with you. Shit. This really isn't working, Andy. I don't know what to say… because I AM YOU!
Boy at Health Clinic: [discussing alternative sex practices at a health clinic] I prefer vaginal intercourse.
Dad at Health Clinic: [pats his son proudly on the back] He really does.
[Laying in bed at night]
Andy Stitzer: It's gonna be fine. They don't even remember. Those guys are cool.
[Laying in bed in the morning as alarm is buzzing]
Andy Stitzer: This is gonna be bad.
Paula: All right! That's enough! Party's over…
[to Andy]
Paula: Let the virgin get back to work!
Andy Stitzer: You guys, she's picking me up in an hour.
David: Oh, drag, dude.
Cal: She's picking you up from here?
Andy Stitzer: Yeah.
Cal: That's fucked up, man.
Andy Stitzer: Why?
Cal: Why? Seriously. I mean, look at this place, man. You gotta see this through the eyes of a woman, you know? What is she going to think when she comes in here? Look. He's got a billion toys.
Andy Stitzer: So what?
Cal: And more video games than a teenaged Asian kid.
Andy Stitzer: Okay.
Cal: [Pointing to an action figure on a shelf] Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss?
Andy Stitzer: That's Oscar Goldman.
Cal: Why do you have that?
Andy Stitzer: That's worth a lot of money. That's much more valuable than Steve Austin.
Cal: Well, that may be the case. But none of this shit is sexy, okay?
Andy Stitzer: I'm not trying to be sexy, man.
Cal: [Pointing to a framed poster] I mean, seriously, Asia? You framed an Asia poster? How hard did the people at the frame store laugh when you brought this in?
Andy Stitzer: They did not laugh at me.
David: Know why you're gay? Because you like Asia.
Andy Stitzer: You guys cool it with the gay. You know, she's on her way over here, okay?
Cal: First, you relax, okay?
Andy Stitzer: Just stop calming me down and tell me what I should do.
Cal: Okay, we just take everything that's embarrassing and we move it out of here so it doesn't look like you live in Neverland Ranch.
[Trish shows up at Andy's door and the entire apartment looks abandoned]
Nicky: I'm starvin… let's get some fuckin french toast!
Jay: [watching "Dawn of the Dead" on a number of giant-screen TVs in excitement] Fuck that nigga up!… Bitch, get out the room! BITCH, GET OUT THE ROOM!
Cal: Here's what you do. You tell her you're a virgin. You test her with this shit, okay? Here, tell me. Tell me. This is how it's gonna go. Tell me.
Andy Stitzer: I'm a virgin.
Cal: Sweet! I like that because I know you don't have… chlamydia. I *know* that. I mean, that shit is everywhere.
Boy at Health Clinic: Wait, so you're a virgin? I'd tap that.
Dad at Health Clinic: Oh, yeah, you'd 'tap that.' What, Seth, you think you're cool with your little Jew Fro? We don't say 'tap that.' What are you talking about, Seth?
Andy Stitzer: You know what? I'm a virgin too.
Dad at Health Clinic: We're virgins too.
Boy at Health Clinic: Yeah.
[high five's dad]
Andy Stitzer: No, you know what? It's a personal choice and I don't think it's weird at all.
Dad at Health Clinic: You know what your problem is? You're putting the pussy on a pedestal.
Andy Stitzer: [pretending to talk to Trish] Really? All your girlfriends wanted to have sex with virgins, too? That's funny… I didn't even know you girls talked like that. I think my first time might be your best time, too. Well, I knew it. You know what? I knew that you'd react that way and I knew that you would want to lead me through my first sexual encounter will all the compassion and care that someone would give to their soulmate.
Andy Stitzer: Oh my God, I'm in trouble.
Trish: And what is this?
Andy Stitzer: [sounding exasperated] A vagina.
Beth: I'd like to introduce you to my friend.
[Shows him a vibrating shower head]
Andy Stitzer: Your friend is so shiny.
Andy Stitzer: [Watching Beth masturbate in the tub] Wow. This is graphic.
Mooj: Rich man gets off work, then buys stereo. Not after fucking brunch!
Paula: [of David's video camera antics] He's performing a public colonoscopy. Isn't that sweet?
Jay: Listen to me, listen to me. You're fucking with the wrong nigga!
Mooj: Hey, hey! You're fucking with the wrong sand nigga!
Cal: [regarding Andy's girlfriend as a grandmother] You can fuck her while watching "Murder, She Wrote". She'll like that
Paula: [translation of her Guatamalan love song] Whenever they clean my room I can't find anything. Where are you going with such haste? To a football game.
Nicky: That fucker came out of nowhere!
Andy Stitzer: This doesn't feel right.
Jay: Of course it don't feel right! What has felt right for you doesn't work! You need to try some wrong, dawg.
Andy Stitzer: [after getting a strip of wax ripped from his chest] AAAH! FUCK ME IN THE ASSHOLE!
David: [of his ex] Yeah… she was adorable… fuckin' bitch.
Andy Stitzer: I need some poon! I need genital to genital connections!
Andy Stitzer: Ow! That one hurt just as much as the first one!
David: That's great, man!
Andy Stitzer: I'm not a big ho-runner.
David: My uncle used to drive a ho-runner.
Mooj: I will pray for your cock.
Haziz: [David is speaking to Andy] Hey, Will and Grace. Back to work!
David: Hey, Haziz, could you give us a minute? We're kind of in the middle of something here.
Haziz: Hey. I'm on my break.
David: Fuck off, Haziz. Leave us alone, will you?
Haziz: Fuck off? Fuck you!
David: Fuck you!
Haziz: Fuck you.
David: Fuck off!
Haziz: Fuck off.
David: I'm gonna kick you in the nuts, asshole.
Haziz: Hey, hey, hey! Watch the language, okay? I have a family.
David: Watch how you talk to me!
Haziz: Hey, Bambi, it's a free country. I can smoke out here if I want.
David: Smoke my pole!
Haziz: You are a very unkind man!
David: Get inside!
Haziz: [heading inside] This is not professional! Paula! This asshole over here… Paula!
David: I just want to get drunk, *fucked up*, and play some cards!
Andy Stitzer: [arguing with David] I have a very fulfilling life!
[cuts to Andy playing the Tuba]
Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy painting one of his soldier toy figures] Now, I'm going to make your silver pants, blue!
Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy playing a Tony Hawk Pro Skater game in his control chair] Get some roadburn! COME ON SUCKER!
Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy singing on a kareoke machine] "Now pretty ladies, around the word. Got a
[squeaky voice]
Andy Stitzer: 'Weird' thing to show ya"
Andy Stitzer: [cuts to Andy reading a comic book]
Andy Stitzer: Oh my god…
[cuts to Andy playing the Tuba again]
Cal: I touched a guy's balls once in Hebrew School.
Cal: That's a good looking grandma! My grandma looks like Jack Palance.
Andy Stitzer: Well, she's no Jack Palance.
Cal: No. If Jack Palance looked like that lady I would want to fuck Jack Palance right now.
Andy Stitzer: [while getting his chest waxed] Ooh! Como se llama!
Paula: Andy. Have you ever heard of the term… 'Fuck Buddy?'
Andy Stitzer: No… What's that?
Paula: Well, it's a special… friend… who you fuck.
Cal: [looking at Andy's action figures] Is that the Six Million Dollar Man's boss?
Paula: [propositioning Andy to be her 'friend with benefits'] I'm very discreet… but I will haunt your dreams.
Andy Stitzer: [after having wax ripped the hair from his nipple] Oh, nipplefuck!
Trish: I'm throwing myself at you and all you can think about are fucking toys.
Andy Stitzer: They're not fucking toys! This is Ironman, okay?
Jay: From now on, your dick is my dick. I'm gonna get you some pussy.
Jay: Andy, it's going down, partner. We're gonna be…
Jay: This for you, partner, this for you.
[Pans to video of girls in bathing suits]
Jay: Waves of them coming at you on Friday, Saturday. By Sunday, your nuts gonna be drained!
Andy Stitzer: Why'd you cheat on her?
Jay: [sobbing violently] Because I'm insecure! You can't tell?
Jay: [after seeing someone get slaughtered in a movie on the widescreen TV displays] Woah! Fuck that nigga up!
Andy Stitzer: [Andy just hit a billboard truck on his bike and crashed through it] There were two sides to that billboard, and they both hurt equally.
Andy Stitzer: Is this shirt too yellow?
Cal: No.
Cal: Tell me, what's Curious George like in real life?
Andy Stitzer: [just had chest hair ripped off by waxing lady] Fuuuuck! I *hate* you!
Waxing Lady: Sorry.
Andy Stitzer: [calms down very quickly] Gosh, I am so sorry. I usually don't curse.
Andy Stitzer: [about Beth] That woman scares the shit out of me!
Beth: Ooh, you know where to shave me.
Andy Stitzer: Yeah! I wanna shave your head.
Andy Stitzer: I should pull up the hardwood to see if there's carpet underneath.
[small chuckles]
Andy Stitzer: No. That's never the case.
Cal: You know what's a fun game? Take 3 Excedrin PM's and see if you can whack off before you fall asleep. You always win, that's the best part about the game.
[about Andy]
Joe: That boy needs to get *laid*!
[from the deleted scene]
David: Know how I know you're gay?
Cal: How am I gay?
David: You've seen Rent *three* times.
Motorist: Get the fuck out the road, virgin!
Mooj: [upon hearing about Andy's promotion] This is the bullshit of all bullshit! Scumbag! Ass-kisser!
David: Did you just flick me in the balls?
Cal: No. I flicked you in the fleshy patch where your balls used to be.
David: Here it is – Boner Jams '03. It's a mixtape of all my favorite boner scenes in the summer of 2003.
David: I dated this woman… wait. Lemme rephrase that. I dated this whore for like two years… and she stomped all over my heart.
David: [referring to a sonogram] It looks like the Doppler radar.
Nicky: [after being sick in Andy's face] I'm sorry. I'll still have sex with you if you want.
Andy Stitzer: That's OK.
Andy Stitzer: Jay thinks you're a pot head.
Cal: I am.
Paula: Andy, when I was young, I developed early. By the time I was 13, I had this body you see before you. Can you imagine that?
Andy Stitzer: I don't want to.
Dad at Health Clinic: Here's a cute story.
[Talking about his son]
Dad at Health Clinic: I came home the other day… and he is with his girlfriend in my marital bed… doing things that are *illegal* in the state of Alabama. Sex acts, right? Things that my wife won't do, okay?
Health Clinic Counselor: Did you have a question?
Dad at Health Clinic: How do I get my wife to do those things?
Health Clinic Counselor: Does anyone else have a question?
[having his belly hair waxed]
Andy Stitzer: [yells] Yooooooooow, Kelly Clarkson!
Mark: [on finding Andy in Trish's bed with a dozen opened condoms] Dude. Teach me!
[first lines]
Joe: Hey Andy! What's up, dude?
Andy Stitzer: Hey Joe. Hey Sara. How you doing?
Joe: When you gonna get a car?
Andy Stitzer: [confused by Beth's thong] There's something wrong with her underwear.
Cal: Yeah. They're not in my mouth.
Andy Stitzer: [after his co-workers figure out that he's a virgin, he tries to deny it] You guys… are up… your… asses.
Andy Stitzer: [drunk] You know the thing about relationships is that they make one person go, "Blah blah blah blah blah," and the other person go, "What are you talking about?" And then one person goes, "Blah blah blah blah blah."
Cal: How much have you had to drink, man?
Andy Stitzer: Oh, how much have I had to drink? Hey, how many pots have you smoken?
Cal: What are you talking about?
Andy Stitzer: Oh, how many times have you gone to the bathroom in your life? Let me ask you that. You know what, you don't have an answer for that, do you? Who the fuck you, man? I'm sorry. No, no, no, no, you're such a good guy, and I appreciate you.
Joe: Yeah, my man's gonna get it on tonight. Yes sir.
Sara: Yeah, you better get on me too.
Joe: What is wrong with this woman? Mercy mercy mercy.


text:
2 November 2011
It's time to play the music, It's time to light the lights.
I'm sure most people have seen the various trailers for the forthcoming Muppets movie, all of which spoof various other films / genres. For those that haven't, it hints that Jim Henson productions may be about to turn out another one of those slices of genius that made them a smash across all ages groups - Muppet Treaure Island, Muppet Christmas Carol etc. Either way, with The Muppets guest hosting WWE Raw (best thing WWE's produced since Wrestlemania X7) and generally appearing across the strata of pop culture, I felt it worth reminding readers of one of those moments that made them a worldwide phenomenon. You can't tell me this isn't awesome.
Here's a few more.
Gonzo Meets John Cleese
'Cabin Fever' from Muppet Treasure Island
The Entire Star Wars episode - The Star Wars Christmas special can fucking eat it.
Pigs sing In The Navy and Macho Man
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review by Suzanne
Returns June 23 at 10:30 on FX
This is a very funny show, but I can't really tell you why.
Humor is so subjective, anyway. It is not constantly laugh-out-loud funny, like
Seinfeld. It is similar to Seinfeld in many ways. Both shows are about a
stand-up comedian, and they show scenes from his act. The stand-up routines are
funnier than Seinfeld's, but the rest of the show is not. And yet, it is
good, and worth watching. It's more embarrassment humor than anything, and in
some ways very true to life.
Louie is divorced, middle-aged, kinda fat, and bald, with two
daughters. He's kind of like a combination of George and Jerry on Seinfeld. In
the new season premiere, his pregnant sister visits, and he meets his neighbors.
in the second episode, he has a very weird experience with a woman he meets from
his daughter's school. In the third episode, he decides to look for a new place
to live. In the fourth episode, he is working at a casino in Atlantic City,
where he meets Joan Rivers. They are four very funny episodes, June 23 - July
14. Don't miss them because they are well worth watching.
This is definitely not the type of show where you cringe too
much. Louie is kind of shlub but likable, and like I said, it's somewhat
realistic. The humor is very organic from the story. It's quirky, but not weird.
It's a really New York-type of show. Frankly, I don't like most of FX's
comedies, and this is the best one they've got.
Check it out! It premieres June 23rd at 10:30pm, right after the
new show "Wilfred".
Update: I have been watching more episodes of the show. I wish
it were funnier. It has some cute moments, and some really funny beats, but
mostly it's just interesting, but not that funny. Some parts are really boring,
in fact, and I have to fast-forward through them. It's just so uneven.
The August 18th episode is about Halloween, and it ends in kind
of a flat way, but it has some good parts. The August 25th episode is a special
2-hour episode where Louie goes to Afghanistan on a USO Tour. This one had some
good moments but also had a lot of boring parts I had to fast-forward through,
such as helicopter rides where nothing is said. It has some cute
ducklings, and I enjoyed that, but it still needed more humor and less
self-indulgence. Personally, I did not really enjoy the singing parts (by a
guest star country singer, not Louie), nor all the excessive patriotism. Some
may like this kind of thing.
The upcoming September 1st episode is about Louie's visiting
niece. I thought this was the most interesting of the three, and it had fewer
parts that I fast-forwarded through. It has a very shocking ending.
On all the episodes, his stand-up routine is the funniest part
of the show. Otherwise it's more of a drama, not a comedy. I know that a lot of
critics like the show because it's very real and not like other shows. However,
if they want real people to tune in, it needs to be funnier and less boring.
The season finale is September 8th.
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Having direct and frequent communication with our clients allows the home buying process to proceed quickly and smoothly. Feel free to call, text or email us anytime, we would love to chat with you!
Se Habla Español.
(512) 999-3733 – Caitlyn Balderas
Keller Williams Realty
1003 S. Austin Ave
Georgetown, Tx 78731
(All offices independently owned and operated.)
caitlyn (at) balderasteam (dot) com


text:
Learn About the Things That a Real Estate Agent Will Do for You
If you are planning to sell a house, you might be wondering whether or not you need to hire a real estate agent. Most people who do not go for this option do so because they do not want to pay the commission. A majority of them assume that selling the house is something simple that they can handle. However, most people who have tried to sell their homes without the help of the agents have quickly realized that they have limited their options. Find out why you need a real estate agent to help you sell the house.
When you get a licensed and active agent, you can be sure that they will have the knowledge of the market. When you hire them they will be able to explain to you in depth about the market that you are interested in. The best part of getting this information is that you will know what to expect and plan your marketing.
Owning to the fact that they are connected, you should consider hiring them. Within no time you will find that they will bring traffic in your house. When you have people looking at your home then you will get an offer within no time.
With an agent, you can be sure that they will negotiate for you so that you can get the best price for your home. Since they have been doing this for a long time, they know how to talk the clients and make quick sales.
if you are busy, then you will find that you do not have the time to do the legwork. Since they know the ins and outs of this business you can be sure that when you hire them then you will end up with the documents that you need to sell the house within a short time.
The one thing that you should note is that in case you want to get the best you should strive to hire someone who is qualified. The other important thing that you need to do is to make sure that you hire an expert who has been doing this job for a long time. When you hire the right expert then you can be sure that you will have an easy time selling the house. Though you have to pay for the services that they give you, this is an investment that is worth it.
What I Can Teach You About Homes


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Sun 4 May 2008
Sports Sunday
Today features an unusually interesting Sunday slate of Eph sports. First on the agenda is the men's lacrosse Nescac Championship vs. Bowdoin, who the Ephs had to defeat in dramatic fashion just to earn a spot in the seven team tournament. Sixth-seeded Williams attempts to continue its cinderella run after yesterday's shocking victory over top seed Middlebury, which had never before lost in eight years of Nescac tourney play. You can watch the game live over the web today at noon.
Next up is the (postponed) Williams-Amherst baseball game at Waconah Park in Pittsfield. The stakes are high as the winner earns the Nescac West championship and a top seed in the conference playoffs.
Finally, men's and women's tennis each hope to advance to the national quarterfinals with wins in today's NCAA action.Print • Email
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7 Responses to "Sports Sunday"
JeffZ says:
Congrats to the Ephmen who won the lacrosse championship 9-4.
JeffZ says:
Huge day for Williams, with baseball trouncing Amherst and men's and women's tennis also advancing …
dkane says:
Give us more details! Is there a highlight video we can watch somewhere?
Also, this would seem to prove (?) that Dave Barnard was wrong when he implied in 2006 that the most recent admissions changes would prevent Williams from having success in sports like lacrosse.
It has been 2 years since Williams College was won a NESCAC championship or even a NESCAC playoff game in a men's American team sport (football, basketball, baseball, hockey and lacrosse).
Several years ago in a position paper entitled "It's All About Who Gets In," I predicted that if Williams unilaterally reduced athletic priority slots while eliminating low band admits it would "simply be a matter of time before our teams are significantly less competitive." That statement has certainly come to fruition for the men's American team sports. If we don't push for league-wide minimum SAT standards and enforcement of those parameters I don't see how that situation is going to change.
But change it did. In just the last two years, Williams has won NESCAC championships in mens lacrosse, baseball, and basketball. The football team has also done well.
Now, it remains a great mystery to me what is going on. I have heard from people besides Barnard that significant admissions changes were made, that the average SAT score among athletes is these sports is much higher now then it was 10 years ago. But then why is Williams still winning? Perhaps:
1) Other schools have made similar changes in their enrollment.
2) Once you no longer allow Williams coaches to go for the easy admits (i.e., 1250 SATs), they just work harder to get the hard admits (i.e., 1400 SATs). They recruit more and better and more seriously. They convince students that used to go to, say, Dartmouth and start to come to Williams and star.
3) It is hard/impossible for coaches (both ours and others) to accurately judge talent in fine detail. Coaches used to take 1250 applicant A over 1400 applicant B because they honestly thought that A was better than B. Turns out that they can't make that judgment accurately. B turns out to be almost as good as A.
Do we have any Williams sports fans with opinions on this?
frank uible says:
As a statistician, you know one swallow don't make a summer. Let's give it 10 years.
frank uible says:
P.S. One thesis might be that the athletic quality of Williams' competitors is declining more rapidly than that of Williams.
FROSH mom says:
What makes you think higher SAT'S = lesser athletic ability? Granted, it may be a smaller pool of individuals that satisfy the criteria, but this is a big country, and Williams is a great school; a big draw.
The other factor that you haven't mentioned is: great coaching. Just as wonderful professors get results, talented coaches inspire athletes to go above and beyond… just the distinction that Div III requires.
Go Ephs! What a great day this was for Athletics!
P.S. Dave:
Most of thebaseball games are audio-cast. Todays game was live.
And there is an archives. Just go to 'athletics', click on 'TEAMLINE' at the bottom of the page, and a schedule will come appear on the side of the page.
'11 says:
And the rowing teams just raced at the New England Championships, netting a 7th place finish, three silvers, and five golds in their 8 races. Williams won the women's and team points trophies (the men were second in points to Trinity).
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Resurgent brands boost Svendsen Sport UK
Article Media Click images to enlarge +
Svendsen Sport UK has posted another year of sales growth following a resurgence of its Prologic and Scierra brands.
The company's UK Country Manager Richard Taylor, who joined Danish fishing tackle manufacturer in November last year, told Angling International that the business has benefited from new product in its carp and fly fishing operations, allowing it to apply more focus in these areas and grow the sales.
He said: "When I joined the company there was nothing that immediately needed solving. The company was already successful. It was a matter of building on what we already had in place. Savage Gear has been hugely successful over the years and is now one of – if not the – strongest predator brand in the UK and Europe.
"However, we had and still have a lot more potential in Prologic and Scierra within the UK market.
"One of the big plusses at Scierra was a new clothing range that performed really well.
"At Prologic there have been a number of winners in the range including the SMX Alarms, Firestarter luggage, alongside shelters and rods. We will continue that focus across all three brands with a swathe of new products over next year."
The company has just completed its 2016 catalogue and Taylor revealed that it includes 1,273 newcomers to the range.
Taylor added that he was confident Svendsen Sport UK could build on its growth in the coming 12 months and was looking to add to its salesforce as well as bringing in a marketing function to build on the success of the brands in the UK.


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The upcoming movie 'Fuddu' is all set to rock the theatre with the many stars including Harman Joshi and Sunny Leone and also Guahar Khan too has done a song in the movie. Pawan Kumar Sharma Pradeep Gupta (Producer), Gandharv Sachdev and Anita Hassanandani and others stars were in the capital for the promotion of the movie.
'Fuddu' is a film on the common people who become 'Fuddu' in their day to day lives.
Popular Television actress Anita Hassanandani who is currently playing a negative role in the serial 'Yeh Hain Mohabbatein' has done a rap in the title track of the film. Sharing about her experience, she said "When they approached me for doing the rap, I thought they are making a Fuddu out of me. I never thought I would do a rap in my life. It was challenging and a different experience for me"
Pawan Kumar Sharma, the writer and the co-producer of the film when asked about the USP of the film said " We are sure about our content. Today it is all about the content game. Sometimes even the superstar in the film couldn't work"
The film has total 10 songs where many celebrities will be seen. Sharman Joshi and Sunny Leone will also be seen together in a song. Guahar Khan too has done a song in the movie.
Directed by Sunil Subramani the fim is scheduled for a release on 14th October.


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Often, we have seen our movie stars donning the mantle of producers. They do it for various reasons – some of them wanted to make the movie they always had in their mind. Some needed that ever elusive award, accompanying … Continue reading
July 28, 2006
by vc
4 Comments


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- Server 1
The Good, The Bad, The Weird (2008)
The story of three Korean outlaws in 1930s Manchuria and their dealings with the Japanese army and Chinese and Russian bandits. The Good (a Bounty hunter), the Bad (a hitman), and the Weird (a thief) battle the army and the bandits in a race to use a treasure map to uncover the riches of legend.
Genre: Action, Adventure, Comedy, Western
Director: Jee-woon Kim
Actors: Jung Woo-sung, Kim Kwang-il, Lee Byung-hun, Lee Chung-ah, Song Kang-ho, Song Young-chang, Yoon Je-moon
Country: South Korea
Duration: 130 min
Release: 2008
IMDb: 7.3


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Take a stand: DifCon forum addresses social issues in sports and culture
Students, athletes, faculty and community leaders came together in UB's first entry of the Difficult Conversation (DifCon) series this semester. "Taking a Knee and Other Issues of Speech and Expression in Sports" addressed social issues revolving around sports and culture.
Topics included athletes taking a knee during the National Anthem, the use of the N-word in different aspects of culture, team names and mascots that promote Native American racial slurs and student athletes being allowed to voice their beliefs.
Helen "Nellie" Drew, adjunct professor in the Law School and a UB sports law expert, and Kathy Twist, senior associate athletic director, moderated the discussion.
Discussion leaders included: UB law student Michael Schwartz; Devon Patterson, vice president of the Student-Athlete Advisory Committee; James Jarvis, associate counsel; Rhianna Rogers, associate professor of interdisciplinary studies at Empire State College; and Donald Grinde, director of graduate studies in the Department of Transnational Studies.
Explanations for Colin Kaepernick taking a knee and presentations for both sides of the issue appeared throughout the discussion.
The conversation addressed other prevalent racial topics such as the N-word and how it is used within the culture of hip-hop.
The discussion touched on a generational gap between those who do not condone the use of the word and those who use it freely.
"People don't talk about this stuff, or when you do talk about it, you usually are sitting in a room where people all agree with you," said sociology professor Jared Strohl. Too often the conversation becomes about what perspective is right and what perspective is wrong. But the more interesting thing is can you be empathetic to someone that thinks differently than you."
The discussion touched on a generational gap between those who do not condone the use of the word and those who use it freely.
The on-going battle between Native Americans and the use of racial stereotypes and slurs in team names and mascots also came up in discussion.
Grinde educated listeners about the history of Native American culture, the significance behind the racial slurs used in sports and how it can be a damaging experience for Native Americans. He referenced his own son having to compete against a team in high school whose name referred to a Native American slur and how that directly hurt his son and family.
Grinde has been instrumental in the fight against using slurs as team names and mascots, resulting in the elimination of two-thirds of Native American mascots throughout the country.
He discussed how progress was made under former President Obama's administration toward the removal of racial slurs in sports. Grinde also spoke of how that progress has been tarnished because President Trump finds no issue with such terms.
"If it happens to us, it will happen to other people down the road," Grinde said.
Devon Patterson, a captain on the men's track and field team, discussed the freedom of expression student-athletes have at UB and how he has worked closely with UB to ensure athletes continue to express themselves properly.
Patterson has worked with administration and explained reasons for speaking out to ensure student-athletes remain united on issues so as not to protest President Trump, but protesting the root cause that Kaepernick intended, stopping police brutality.
Patterson spoke about encouraging people to learn more about what is going on nationally and the historical context of the social struggles the country is facing.
"Be mindful of others because some people may find it offensive and others do not," Patterson said.
DifCon allowed the UB community to experience an open discussion, ask questions and become more involved in social topics affecting athletes.
"We don't get to have these conversations a lot and we are trying to build these off of issues people are currently thinking about," Stroll said. "To be able to talk about it in real time is pretty cool."
The next Difcon event called "Cultural Appropriation: Who decides?"will take place Oct. 24 at 6 p.m. in 228 Student Union.
Jeremy Torres is the assistant sports editor and can be reached at email@example.com


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Sarah Jessica Parker
Sarah Jessica Parker, the star of the series Sex and the City, is no newcomer to the world of fashion and perfumes.
It is clear that she has not just been blessed with acting talent but also has an excellent sixth sense when it comes to fragrances.
Sarah Jessica Parker introduced her first perfume, Lovely, in 2005. Then in March 2007, she introduced her own fashion range, Bitten, in collaboration with the Steve & Barry clothing chain.
In July 2007, after the extraordinary success of Lovely, Sarah Jessica Parker decided to launch a second perfume, Covet. She did well. Year after year, she introduces fragrance after fragrance. All her branded perfumes are still very much in demand.
Price range
Product type
- Covet 1
- Covet Pure Bloom 1
- Lovely 2
- Lovely Sheer 1
- Twilight 1
Sarah Jessica ParkerLovelyEau de Parfum for Women
from 129,20 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerCovetEau de Parfum for Women 100 ml
187,20 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerSJP NYCEau de Parfum for Women
from 119,90 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerCovet Pure BloomEau de Parfum for Women 100 ml
187,20 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerTwilightEau de Parfum for Women 100 ml
153,50 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerSJP NYC CrushEau de Parfum for Women 100 ml
179,90 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerLovelyScented Body Spray for Women 250 ml
72,90 kr.
Sarah Jessica ParkerSJP NYCBody Spray for Women 250 ml
Out of stock
Sarah Jessica ParkerLovely SheerEau de Parfum for Women 100 ml
Out of stock


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About the Speaker: Ruben Rivera-Jackman, MNPL, speaker, trainer and nonprofit leadership consultant, has an accomplished 25+ year career as a nonprofit leader with practical experience in, and solid understanding of, a diverse range of management, program development, and service delivery applications. Mr. Rivera-Jackman has a passion for working with, and advocating on behalf of, older adults, and has a natural ability for providing instruction and training for adult learners. After nearly 12 years of service as a Senior Resident Services Manager at the King County Housing Authority (KCHA), Mr. Rivera-Jackman has accepted the opportunity to serve as the Director of Resident Supports and Services for the Senior Housing Assistance Group (SHAG), one of the largest and leading affordable senior housing providers in Western Washington. Mr. Rivera-Jackman was the recipient of the 2011 American Association of Service Coordinators (AASC) President's Award of Excellence. This award is given to a member who, in the opinion of the AASC President, is deserving of recognition for his/her work in the service coordination profession.
Please note: You agree to pay any fees associated with this registration and will be charged the full amount of registration for any "No-Shows" that do not cancel within three days of the event. AHMA-NCH reserves the right to cancel or reschedule the webinar. In the event of a cancellation, AHMA-NCH will issue a full refund of the registration fee, but will not be responsible for any other charges incurred by the registrant due to the cancellation of the session.


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Business Loans With Quick Approval
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For a simple business loan, all we required is relevant identification documentation and 12 months worth of bank statements. For more complex loans, or for sums larger than £50,000, lenders will often ask to see copies of accounts and VAT statements.
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The ALMIS® Regulatory Reporting module provides extensive prudential reporting capabilities covering FSA, COREP, FINREP and PRA returns. This module can be used on a manual input only basis but is most popular on an autopopulated basis, using the same underlying source of data used by the Asset Liability Management functionality. As part of ALMIS International's future proof assurance this Regulatory Reporting functionality will continue to be up-to- date with all taxonomies and regulation applicable to prudential regulatory reporting in the UK.
- Work-flow management (editor, reviewer and submitter roles)
- Full Audit Trail & Logs
- Drill down feature
- Colour coded input
- Calculation of totals, sub-totals and linked cells
- Dynamic links to and from Excel
- Extensive validations
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The next main phase in our product roadmap is Front Office+, which will see our front office functionality brought in stages, onto the same modern platform as Middle Office+ and Cobalt®
The first module to be released as part of this development is Regulatory Reporting, which will support multiple taxonomies, XBRL viewing and work much faster on a dedicated SQL object-oriented database.


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Lowepro Photo Active BP 200 AW Backpack - Black / Grey
This product is in good stock and is available for dispatch in our normal delivery timescales.
Lowepro's Photo Active™ backpack is a great choice for enthusiast photographers who need a lightweight, rugged outdoor camera pack to get to the backcountry or use every day. From a day hike to vacation travel, Photo Active keeps your camera and video gear accessible and protected so you can capture and share your adventure. More
1x Lowepro Photo Active BP 200 AW Backpack - Black / Grey Sorry, there are no more available.
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|240 x 120 x 420 mm
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Less than half of pharmacists working in GP surgeries in England have had access to the CPPE's 'clinical pharmacist' qualification, a survey of practice-based pharmacists suggests.
The UK-wide survey of 740 pharmacists, which was carried out by the Pharmacists' Defence Association in May and June this year, found that around 48 per cent of practice pharmacists in England had completed or were currently working towards the CPPE Clinical Pharmacists or Care Home pathway, which is funded by NHS England. Meanwhile, across the UK 85 per cent of the respondents had an independent prescriber (IP) qualification.
This inconsistency in training uptake was reflected in pharmacists' job titles, according to the survey, with 43 per cent of practice-based pharmacists in England describing themselves as 'clinical pharmacists'. The term was used even less in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland, where 'practice pharmacist' and 'practice-based pharmacist' were more common.
The survey points to a rise in the number of pharmacists working exclusively in general practice, with 48 per cent saying they were practice-only compared to 28 per cent when the PDA ran a similar survey in 2017.
The responses to the PDA survey indicate that the roles most regularly carried out by practice pharmacists include giving medicines advice to patients and other healthcare professionals, reconciling medicines after hospital discharge and patient-facing medication reviews.
While most of the respondents said they had never been asked to take on roles they were not confident to carry out, slightly over a quarter told the PDA they had experienced this.
The PDA commented that it was "notable" that the findings indicate roles and responsibilities are "very similar for all GP pharmacists," considering less than half have had access to the CPPE qualification.
Survey respondents were broadly positive about their role and how it was perceived by colleagues and patients. Four-fifths of colleagues agreed that their surgery team "perceived their roles as providing leadership on medicines-related services and prescribing," while a similar proportion felt the patients they dealt with viewed them as an "expert in medicines".
Just over half felt that the formation of primary care networks would have no impact on their employment status. However, a number of respondents reported being "unsure" and some said they actively expected there would be changes to their contract.
In recent years, health bodies in England have placed increasing emphasis on the role of 'clinical pharmacists' working largely in the general practice sector. This is reflected in the establishment this year of around 1,300 primary care network areas, with a typical PCN expected to employ around five CPPE-qualified pharmacists, or one per surgery, by 2024.
However, to date there has been little clarity regarding how many practice-based pharmacists have completed NHSE's clinical pharmacy qualification, and an FOI by Pharmacy Magazine earlier this year found that Health Education England does not keep records of course uptake by the sector in which pharmacists who are enrolled are working.
Pharmacy representatives have expressed concern about the impact the growing role of PCN pharmacists could have on community pharmacies and patients.
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This event has passed.
Replenish Recharge Reconnect Workshop
November 21, 2019 @ 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm| $20
Would you like to have your own experience of a BeYOUtiful workshop?
This is the second RRR for 2019 and It will be another goodie!
Want to discover how to take action in areas of your life that are lacking in magic?
I can show you how to
🌸define what you want, even if you don't know exactly what that is.
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🌸take action in specific directions while preserving all other options.
🌸go beyond 'making a living' to create a deeply fulfilling and creative life.
Investment $20
Very limited spaces – confirm your space with payment
Thanks for sharing such wonderful workshop today – Replenish, Recharge, Reconnect – The setting was unique – retro caravan – made it a bit more relaxing as you felt you were on a summers holiday 🌞 – not in Auckland. I found the course inspiring, it made me sit down, recoup and think about life targets I had set sometime ago and now will action! I now have a clearer vision of where I want to be and ways to help me get there! 🙌 Thanks again it was such a lovely day!


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The Michigan camp meeting was scheduled to open in Battle Creek on Thursday, August 6, and continue to Tuesday, August 17. It had been decided that the thirteenth annual General Conference session would be held on the campground in connection with the camp meeting. The official notice called for the session to open Monday morning, August 10. The session and the camp meeting would share time from day to day.
Uriah Smith reported that there were ninety-one tents on the ground, with between twelve and thirteen hundred believers occupying them. As to the services he reported:
During the eleven days of the meeting twenty-five discourses were given, six by Brother White, five each by Brethren Butler and Andrews, and Sister White, three by Brother Haskell, and one by Brother Rogers, delegate from the S. D. Baptists. The word was spoken with great power and clearness. Especially was the speaking of Brother White thus characterized throughout.
Never, we believe, did he make better points, or present the great truths of this message with more clearness and force. The involuntary response of many hearts was Thank God for the freedom He gives His servant, and the physical strength that is granted for the ardent labors into which his truth-inspired soul is constantly leading him.
The same may be said of Sister White, Brother Butler, and others. The Lord signally helped His servants.—The Review and Herald, August 18, 1874.


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Expertise ( Full Description on PFSRD )( -C's Post ): I've always liked knowledge skills, even though I'm not certain why. For instance, a DC 15 Know-how (arcana) check reveals that dragons have high hit points (12-sided HD), all great saves, and have darkvision out to 60 feet and low-light vision. For a lengthy time, 1 of the DMs in my usual group has claimed that Understanding (Local) has to be tied to a particular region. Quite a few of the Know-how capabilities have distinct makes use of as noted on Table: Expertise Talent DCs. The description of the Know-how skill indicates that in common, the baseline DC of checks to identify monsters and don't forget one particular bit of valuable details about their specific powers or vulnerabilities is equal to 10 + the monster's HD. Every five points by which the verify result exceeds the DC yields a different valuable piece of facts (PH 78).
In certain, the Information ability can be divided into a quantity of certain regional subcategories – for instance, as an alternative of Know-how(history), a character could have Information (Sembian history). Information specific to the creature, such as its type of harm resistance, spell-like skills, or immunities come with the high DC verify final results. Check: Answering a query inside the character's field of study has a DC of ten (for seriously easy concerns), 15 (for simple inquiries), or 20 to 30 (for definitely hard queries).
Read More
– General Knowledge Trivia For High School Students
This study demonstrates the use of distributed vector representations and Pathfinder Network Scaling (PFNETS) to represent on-line vaccine content material created by well being experts and by laypeople. Especially total libraries might even grant a bonus on Know-how checks in the fields that they cover. As a general rule of thumb, a DC 15 verify or larger will reveal all of the base creature's form and subtype traits as defined in the glossary.
The time to make checks applying a library, having said that, increases to 1d4 hours.
Know-how ( Complete Description on PFSRD )( -C's Post ): I've usually liked know-how skills, although I'm not certain why. In distinct, the Information talent can be divided into a quantity of specific regional subcategories – for instance, instead of Knowledge(history), a character might have Knowledge (Sembian history). Data distinct to the creature, such as its sort of harm resistance, spell-like skills, or immunities come with the high DC verify outcomes. Check: Answering a query within the character's field of study has a DC of 10 (for really effortless queries), 15 (for standard questions), or 20 to 30 (for definitely challenging inquiries).
Pathfinder strives to strengthen access to family members organizing, guarantee availability of protected abortion services and post-abortion care, advocate for sound reproductive well being policies, and, through all of our function, strengthen the rights and lives of the persons we serve. The time to make checks making use of a library, however, increases to 1d4 hours. Seeking at some Paizo Adventure Paths (specifically: Jade Regent, Wrath of the Righteous), there are NPCs with Understanding (regional) in their capabilities.
Read More
– Knowledged
Additional, monsters have been published that only reference a generic Knowledge (regional) ability (instance: The 3. Leshay ), with no defined subcategory. The way I see knowledge (regional) operating, I take into consideration it to be additional of an 'ability to gather and bear in mind information', rather than something you currently knew all along. Check : Answering a question within your field of study has a DC of 10 (for definitely effortless questions), 15 (for fundamental questions), or 20 to 30 (for definitely difficult questions).
Pathfinder Knowledge – The way I see expertise (nearby) functioning, I contemplate it to be far more of an 'ability to gather and recall information', rather than anything you already knew all along.


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Our Editor's Choice for RPG of the Year was not a hard decision to make. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim gripped most who dared step foot into the land, whether you were dead set on marching through your quest bestowed on the Dragonborn, or just looking for adventure through the countryside, there's always something new to do and see in the massive role playing game. The ever lingering threat of random dragon encounters pushed us to master the deep progression system found in the game, and journey to the ends of the world for more powerful equipment to aid in the fight. Bringing everything to the table that you would expect from a modern RPG and then some, Skyrim was our clear cut winner for Best RPG of the year, and quite possibly of all time.
Attack of the Fanboy Readers also chose The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim as the best RPG of 2011. The full breakdown of nominees and voting is shown below. Thanks to all who voted for Reader's Choice Best RPG of 2011.
- This article was updated on:May 16th, 2017


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Farm Stand Attendant 2019
Upswing Farm is seeking one or two seasonal employees to join the farm's sales and distribution team. This role is primarily responsible for managing distribution of CSA Shares and farm stand sales, with additional responsibilities in the greenhouse and some harvest and wash as needed. The right candidates will be excited about working on a small, diversified farm and eager to assist customers. This position requires independent work, self-motivation and strong communication skills.
Start date: May 1st (somewhat flexible for a later start date)
End date: September 30th (flexible, but preference will be given to candidates who can work until the end of September)
Schedule: Tuesday-Friday 11:30am-6:30pm. There is the opportunity to pick up some morning field crew shifts as well. Applicants who are still in high school may be able to take short shifts to accommodate school hours.
Responsible for assisting the farmers in all aspects of:
CSA Share Distribution and Farm Stand Sales: maintain attractive display, help and educate customers, promote produce, complete sales transactions
Greenhouse Work: filling and seeding trays, plant propagation and watering
Field Work (optional, but we prefer candidates who are willing to take at least one shift in the field each week): Harvest • Washing and Packing • Planting • Cultivation including Hoeing and Hand Weeding • Mulching, Trellising and Pruning
Skills and Competencies:
Excellent customer service skills
Ability to work independently/ self-motivated
Ability to do fast, quality, detailed work
Ability to lift and carry 40-50lbs repeatedly
Willing to work in all weather conditions
Good communication skills
Ability to receive and digest plenty of constructive feedback
Interest in all aspects of vegetable production and sales
Culinary experience/interest in cooking with local produce a plus
Previous farming experience is not required. However, candidates without farmer references should be able to demonstrate their ability to work in a farm environment through other relevant experience. All candidates will be asked to come to the farm for a working interview before being hired.
Compensation: $12-$15/hour depending on experience
Benefits: This position includes a Large Summer CSA Share, plus extra produce when available.
To Apply: Please email a resume, cover letter and two references to firstname.lastname@example.com. Applications will be accepted on an ongoing basis until the position is filled.


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Thank you for participating in the ITEA's local permit database program. Our goal is to provide a quick and easy, onestop place for the trucking industry to find local permit information. Please complete the information below to get started. After clicking submit, you will be provided more information about the program.
By checking the "I agree" box below and clicking submit, I authorize the ITEA to display the name of my local unit of government and thier status as it pertains to local oversize/overweight permits. I also agree to allow the ITEA to post any images or other proprietary documents of my local unit of government. I understand that it is my duty to communicate any procedural changes, document updates, or information to the ITEA. I understand this is a voluntary program and agree to hold harmless the ITEA for any problems or conflicts that may arise from information disclosed on this website.


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by John Lowe
(Woodruff, S.C.)
God did more than simply exert His authority by stipulating to him what he should do; He confirmed His desire to continue Adam's present happiness by granting him this freedom, "Of every tree in the garden thou mayest freely eat." Thus He showed partiality by giving him the delicious fruits of paradise, as a reward for his care and labor in dressing and keeping it—"Who ever serves as a soldier at his own expense? Who plants a vineyard without eating its produce? Or who shepherds a flock without using some of the milk from the flock?...or is he not really speaking for our sake? It was written for our sake, because the plowman should plow in hope, and the thresher in hope of receiving a share" (1 Co. 9:7, 10; NABWRNT). Everyone has the right to expect remuneration for his labors, and that is supported by natural law. Whoever heard of a soldier who went to war by paying his own way? The same is true for the owner of a vineyard, or a flock of sheep. They have the right to expect to be supported by the vocation to which they devote themselves. It is only natural and right, but more than that, it is scriptural that one should expect profit from his labors.
God has given Adam an assurance of immortal life, upon his obedience, because the tree of life was put in the midst of the garden (v. 9); it was the heart and soul of it, and no doubt God had it in mind when He made this concession; and therefore, when Adam revolted, God cancelled this grant. But still, no tree of the garden was prohibited to him, except the tree of life—"Then the LORD God said, "Behold, the man has become like one of Us, to know good and evil. And now, lest he put out his hand and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live forever" (Gen 3:22; NKJV). If Adam had eaten the fruit from this tree he might have lived for ever, that is, never died, or ever lost his happiness. The rule is still in force: "Continue holy as thou art, in conformity to thy Creator's will, and thou shalt continue happy as thou art in the enjoyment of thy Creator's favor, either in this paradise or in a better." Accordingly, Adam was sure of paradise for himself and his heirs forever, upon the condition of maintaining perfect personal obedience. It was not God's original intention for man to die, but man is now put on probation. You see, man has a free will, and privilege always creates responsibility. This is a true statement that goes without saying. This man who is given a free will must be given a test to determine whether he will obey God or not.
17 But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.
God warned Adam, "in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die." Just as the emphasis upon eating of "every tree" was indicated positively by the word "freely" (v. 16), so is the negative expressed by the strongest form of prohibition in the Hebrew language, "shalt," as in the Ten Commandments. The results of eating are also expressed by a construction that relates the certainty of death ("in the day that thou eatest thou shalt certainly die"). The death depicted is not a physical death, but spiritual death which is a separation from God and this occurred on the day they ate the fruit from "the tree of the knowledge of good and evil"—"For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil" (Gen 3:5; KJV). This is the first positive principle God gave to man; and it was given as a test of obedience, and a proof of his being in a dependent, probationary state. It was necessary that while God set him up as lord of this lower world, he knows that he was only God's vice-regent, and must be accountable to Him for how he uses his mental and physical powers, and for the use he made of the different creatures put under his care. Any man from whose mind the strong impression of this dependence and responsibility is erased, loses sight of his origin and purpose, and is capable of all kinds of wickedness. Since God is sovereign, he has a right to give to his creatures whatever commands he thinks proper. An intelligent creature, which does not have a law to regulate his conduct, is an absurdity; this would destroy his dependency and accountableness. Man must always
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An udon noodle recipe that is so easy to follow and tastes great! This Japanese udon noodle soup is sure to become your new favourite!
the warming goodness of a light soup, this hearty soup is sure to warm you to
your soul.
People who watched my cooking demonstrations said "That's so easy! this recipe uses no oil" "I wanted to make Japanese noodle soup but I didn't know how. I can make it now".
Ingredient Serves 1- 2
Ingredient for Soup base
4. Boil 350ml water and all the soup base ingredients, and then add the chicken, cooked noodles and vegetables except the leaves and shallots.
5. Cover with a lid and bring to the boil, cook for 6 - 8 minutes.
6. Add the remaining vegetables (the leaves and shallots) and cook 2 minutes. You can leave the lid off that green colour remain.
7. This is a option; Once it has returned to the boil ( top with boiled eggs cut in half, or break the eggs over the ingredients, and re-cover for 2 mins until the eggs are half cooked)
8. Serve in the pot or soup bowl
Optional; Cook in a shallow sauce pan or a clay hot pot, then eat transfer to a smaller Miso or soup bowls to share the meal.
Find our most popular healthy Japanese meal ideas and enjoy creating your own Japanese food today!