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My grand schema to chronicle the planning of the 2009 AMP Innovation & Thought Leadership Festival in this blog has been sitting in this draft box for months as I beaver away in the wee hours of the night working on the Festival – my dysfunctional "perfectionism ideal" the obstacle between this blog living an imperfect life "out there" and slumbering in the collective unconscious.
Because my whole weekend was consumed with delicious immersion in an exciting new world I never knew existed, thanks to a tiny tweet by one Chris Brogan, blogger extra-ordinaire,
I am herewith catapulting over that self-hindrance and boldly publishing – its too good to keep till I'm organised!
Unstructured play
The twitterings of the Brogan birdie in Boston, like the flapping of a butterfly's wings in Brazil, instantly relayed to one maverickwoman on a sunny Saturday in Sydney, led me to Annarchy, who introduced me to
the genius of poet Taylor Mali ( imagine a 30 something cross between Patrick Swayze, Mr Chips and William Shakespeare)
which meant hours of exhiliarating inspiration on YouTube, which brought me to the Bowery Theatre in New York, and the discovery of an artistic genre Slam Poetry that I had never heard of, which led to Mayhem Poets and their brilliant new venture pitch for a business called "Slam Chops", which won the Microsoft IdeasWin Competition.
You still with me? This created various other connections with my corporate "open innovation" work, but also "must-have" purchases on Amazon, which led to Facebook and
an invitation to Taylor Mali to co-create magic with an unlikely partner, a Financial Services corporation, at the AMP Innovation & Thought Leadership Festival in Australia in June 2009.
Who knows where all this may end? I don't, but what I DO know is that it WILL be powerful, and people will be inspired, our company could be transformed, and in turn, generations of customers and their children may be changed as a result of it! Maybe the whole future of Australia!
It was Taylor's poem, "What teachers make", that kept my inner matchmaker awash with ideas all weekend.
But, I couldnt help myself- had to go one step further.
Through Facebook, I connected Taylor with Dan Pink, visionary wordsmith who speaks fluent "Corporatese" and compellingly explains in plain talk to business leaders why creativity and the arts is fundamental to future of their businesses. I first met Dan at the Creativity World Forum in Flanders in 2006, where he shared the stage with Sir Ken Robinson (voted one of TED's best presenters for his passionate plea for nurturing creativity in schools- that education connection!).
Dan was chief speechwriter for Al Gore while he was in the White House, and we all know how Al Gore's artful storytelling has convinced the world, one presentation at a time, that the time for action on climate change is NOW! And Dan and Scott are vectors for spreading stories!


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Dr. John Mather, a Project Scientist for the James Webb Space Telescope, answered questions on Reddit in an "Ask Me Anything" today.
One question Mather tackled was on common misconceptions about outer space.
Mather explained that people vastly underestimate how big outer space really is, and that most of it is vast pockets of emptiness. The immense distance between planets, suns, and galaxies would make it improbable for aliens to land on Earth, at least in a timely manner.
Mather writes:
There's a lot of talk about space aliens as though it were physically possible for them to get here from somewhere else, and (sorry to say this) talk about human travel out of the solar system. We just don't live long enough to do that.
So much for seeing E.T. in our lifetime.

subset: commoncrawl


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A recent report out of Green Bay suggested that Packers president Mark Murphy started talking about a long-term contract with coach Mike McCarthy. Before that happens, it sounds like general manager Ted Thompson will be taken care of.
NFL Media Insider Ian Rapoport asked Murphy on Tuesday at the Spring League Meeting what would go into an extension for McCarthy.
"The way we're structured, football reports through Ted," Murphy said. "And then everything reports up through me, so the first step would be to extend Ted, then he would in turn enter in an extension for Mike."
Murphy said that extending McCarthy's contract would ultimately "be the general manager's decision." Murphy would not confirm that talks are underway, but it's not hard to read between the lines here.
Thompson's current contract runs out after the 2016 NFL Draft, with McCarthy's deal ending a few months earlier at the end of the 2015 season. Barring any snags, it looks like the Packers want to keep the Thompson-McCarthy pairing together for a while.
Thompson's deal should come first, and we'd expect McCarthy to get signed long term soon after that.
The latest "Around The League Podcast" breaks down the latest news and shares takeaways from rookie camps.


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QUITO, Ecuador (AP) Ecuador's highest court has upheld a landmark judgment against Chevron Corp. for oil contamination in the Amazon, but cut the penalty in half, to $8.8 billion.
The sum equals the original judgment against the oil multinational awarded by a local judge in February 2011.
That amount was doubled a year later after Chevron refused to publicly apologize for the contamination, which occurred between 1972 and 1990 under a Texaco-led consortium.
Chevron later bought Texaco.
The Civil and Mercantile chamber of The National Court of Justice said in Tuesday's ruling that nothing in Ecuadorean law justifies doubling a civil award if an apology is not issued by a party deemed culpable in such a case.
The Associated Press obtained the ruling on Wednesday. It came in response to an appeal by Chevron seeking to nullify the judgment.
Chevron has refused to pay the plaintiffs in the case, claiming fraud, and has tied them up in courts and arbitration panels on three continents.
The local lawyer for the plaintiffs, Pablo Fajardo, told the AP that while he regrets the court halved the financial penalty, it "completely ratifies the sentence against Chevron for the environmental crime committed in the Ecuadorean Amazon. I think that after 20 years of fighting we are seeing light at the end of the tunnel."
A spokesman for U.S.-based Chevron, James Craig, called Tuesday's ruling "just as illegitimate and unenforceable today as it was the day it was issued three years ago."
Chevron claims a cleanup agreement signed in 1995 by Texaco released the oil giant from financial responsibility from any damage claims.
Chevron has no assets in Ecuador, so the plaintiffs have sought to force payment in Canada, Brazil and Argentina, so far without success.


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History of the University of Georgia by Thomas Walter Reed
- Coverage Dates: 1830-1947
- Update Frequency: Complete
- Audience: General
History of the University of Georgia by Thomas Walter Reed
From 1885 to 1950, Thomas Walter Reed was an eyewitness to much of the University of Georgia's history, as well as one of the best-loved members of the campus community. Retiring as Registrar in 1945, he began to draft a monumental history of the University. As Reed presented his typescript draft to the University in 1948 he noted, "It is not such as I would call anything like a finished piece of work, but it may do some good to file it away." Even without revisions, Reed's history has long been a favorite of researchers in the Hargrett Rare Book & Manuscript Library at the University of Georgia Main Library.
- Database Provider: The Digital Library of Georgia.
Express Link (bookmark): http://www.galileo.usg.edu/express?link=huga


text:
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Lucida SansFebruary 13, 2003
Lucida Sans: it's the new Verdana.
I've been noticing more and more sites making use of this typeface. It has been around as long as any other in Microsoft's now–discontinued Web fonts pack but use on the web seems to have been limited until now, possibly due to poor rendering at smaller sizes. The latest advances in Windows (ClearType) and the MacOS (Quartz) allow for better display of text on–screen, so that problem has been cleared right up.
I've taken a liking to it myself, as you may notice in the current design. The headers and most text in the right hand sidebar are set in Lucida. I still have concerns about legibility on screens that aren't using either of the afore–mentioned smoothing techniques, so for now the body text will remain using Verdana.
Though I have to wonder at the state of affairs on the web if one new font in my arsenal is cause for so much elation. Font embedding has been an idea for years, but to see it happening in the wild? A rare occurance.
I suppose it could always be worse. We're not in 1996 anymore, at least we have choices beyond Times New Roman. But a hundred fonts would make me far happier than the ten we're stuck with for now.


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Addressing the Saban Forum, a platform encouraging U.S.-Israel dialogue, the U.S. president assured those concerned by the deal with Iran that the U.S. is not taking any course of action off the table until it sees results.
U.S. President Barack Obama is insistent that the path to preventing Iran's nuclear program is paved in diplomacy.
Speaking to Haim Saban at the 2013 Saban Forum in Washington D.C. on Dec. 7, Obama outlined his support for the recent P5+1 deal with Iran that will lead to an international easing of economic sanctions on Iran in return for nuclear inspections and scaled-back uranium production.
"The best way for us to prevent Iran from getting a nuclear weapon is for a comprehensive, verifiable, diplomatic resolution, without taking any other options off the table if we fail to achieve that," Obama said.
The Saban Forum, sponsored by the Saban Center for Middle East Policy at the Brookings Institution, aims to provide a platform for high-level dialogue between American and Israeli leaders.
Based on the line of questioning by Saban during the interview and by audience members afterward, the Iranian issue was at the top of the agenda for those in attendance.
One man, who identified himself as a former Israeli Air Force intelligence general, demanded to know Obama's Plan B if the current deal should fall through.
"This deal goes away and we're back to where we were before the Geneva agreement, and Iran will continue to be subject to all the sanctions that we put in place in the past and we may seek additional ones," Obama answered.
The keynote speaker was U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry, and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu addressed the Forum via webcast.
Kerry was careful in using a rhetoric that fell in line with Obama's comments pushing forward diplomacy as the means: "To fully and verifiably address the threat that is posed by the Iranian nuclear program."
Though Netanyahu struck a softer tone toward the deal than he has recently, he alluded to recent anti-Israel remarks made by Iranian leaders as continued cause for concern.
Not content that there be a simple cessation in Iranian uranium production, Netanyahu asserted: "There must be an unequivocal demand alongside the negotiations of Geneva for a change in Iranian policy" toward Israel; and "this must be part and parcel of negotiations."


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The wrong foods can affect health adversely in many ways. They can be difficult to digest, contain nutrients that stress the body, or even cause toxic reactions within the body.
The process of digestion itself takes much energy. Digestion must occur before the body can extract energy from the foods you eat. Proteins must be broken down into amino acids, complex carbohydrates into simple sugars, and fats into fatty acids. For these breakdowns to occur, food is chemically acted upon by stomach acid, hormones, pancreatic enzymes, and fat emulsifiers, as well as by the mechanical process that propels food through the entire length of the digestive tract. Once the food is broken down, it must be absorbed from the digestive tract and taken into the blood. From there, the food particles circulate to cells throughout the body. At the cellular level, the energy contained in the food is finally captured to fuel the body's many chemical and physiological reactions.
This entire process requires a great deal of work. The body needs an abundance of reserve energy to produce the chemicals involved in the digestive process. Ideally, foods should be easy to digest, yet nutrient-rich, so that they can provide the body with needed energy.
Unfortunately, many of the most commonly eaten foods in our society are hard to digest. These include foods that are high in saturated fats, sugars, and animal protein. The long list includes pizza, steak, bacon, cheeseburgers, hot dogs, French fries, doughnuts, ice cream, chocolate, and many other processed and high stress foods. The body must work very hard to digest a typical meal of thick steak, French fries, buttered bread, wine, and a chocolate dessert. This meal is laden with saturated fats, red meat protein, and sugar. Upon finishing it, a woman will feel overly full and more tired than before she started eating. In contrast, a light meal of bean soup, mixed green salad, and baked potato is filled with vitamins, minerals, carbohydrates, and easy to digest vegetable based protein. This meal is also low in fat and sugar. It is much more likely to enable that woman to leave the table feeling energized and comfortable.
Other foods stress the body through their toxicity. There are many ways a food can increase fatigue. Some foods have a toxic effect that damages the cells and affects their ability to function. One example is alcohol, which is particularly toxic to the liver, brain, and nervous system. Alcohol and sugar promote the growth of pathological organisms like candida, which can worsen fatigue. Many food additives and preservatives can cause an allergic or toxic reaction in susceptible women. Other foods, such as saturated fats, margarine, caffeine, salt, and food additives, will be discussed in the following sections of this chapter for their adverse affects on health.
Caffeine containing foods include coffee, black tea, cola drinks, cocoa, and chocolate. These foods are used almost universally in our culture both as stimulants and emotional "treats." Caffeine belongs to a class of chemicals called methylxanthines, which have a drug like stimulant effect on the body. In fact, caffeine-containing foods are the most commonly used legal drugs (along with alcohol) in Western societies. For thousands of years, people have used caffeine in rituals and ceremonies. It was also chewed in plant form or used in beverages as a mild daily stimulant. Traditional societies today continue to use caffeine containing plants like mate or kola nuts for their stimulatory effects.
In the United States, many of us are unknowingly raised on caffeine containing foods from our childhood. Hot chocolate is a favorite drink of children, especially during the winter months. Teenagers drink copious amounts of colas and other caffeine containing carbonated drinks, and most children name chocolate as their preferred sweet. Among adults, coffee use is ubiquitous, with Americans consuming as much as ten pounds of coffee per year. Even more staggering is the statistic that Americans consume a half billion cups of coffee per day (or about two cups per person each day). These figures have decreased by 50 percent over the past forty years when coffee consumption was at its peak. A single cup of coffee contains about 100 mg of caffeine, enough to create a mild stimulatory effect.
Black tea and green tea contain about half the amount of caffeine that coffee does (about 50 mg per cup). However, these teas also contain theophylline and theobromine, other members of the methylxanthine family which have marked effects on the body. Theophylline is used as a medication to aid breathing in asthmatics, while theobromine has stimulatory effects on the body. Both tea and coffee contain tannic acid, which can irritate the intestinal mucosa. Theobromine is also found in the cocoa bean, the natural source of chocolate and cocoa powder used in cooking. Other plant sources of caffeine include mate, kola nuts, and the guarana plant.
Many soft drinks like Pepsi-Cola, Coca-Cola, Dr. Pepper, and Jolt, are high in caffeine. Numerous over the counter medications also contain caffeine as an active ingredient. Manufacturers of cold remedies like Dristan use it for its stimulatory effect to help counteract the drowsiness caused by antihistamines. It is a main ingredient in over the counter drugs like No-Doz because of its ability to increase wakefulness and alertness. It is also used in many pain relief and menstrual relief formulas such as Midol, Excedrin, and Anacin.
As a central nervous system stimulant, caffeine increases brain activity when taken in doses of 50 to 100 mg or more per day. This is the amount found in one cup of coffee or black tea. When used on an occasional basis, a cup of coffee can have a pleasantly stimulating effect. However, many people are addicted to the jolt of energy that caffeine provides and find that they need to take it in large amounts. Many women must consume significantly more caffeine (two to three cups or even as many as ten cups per day) to receive the pick-me-up they need to combat drowsiness and perform optimally during the day. Besides increasing alertness, caffeine has other physiological effects. It speeds up metabolism, allowing calories to be burned more efficiently. It stimulates the cardiovascular system, increasing the heart rate, respiratory rate, and elevating blood pressure. It lowers the blood sugar level, increasing the appetite and the craving for sweets. It also stimulates adrenal function, causing an outpouring of adrenal hormones which make the blood sugar level subsequently rise again. Caffeine also has a diuretic and laxative effect, increasing elimination.
Unfortunately, there are many negatives to the use of caffeinated beverages, which over time outweigh the initial benefits. Caffeine can cause a host of emotional and physical symptoms that can be quite debilitating. Caffeine is an addictive chemical, so many women find that they need increasingly larger amounts to keep their energy up. When caffeine use is initially discontinued, people tend to feel very fatigued. Women who suffer from PMS or menopause may find that psychological symptoms that can occur due to hormonal imbalance or deficiency such as anxiety, irritability, and mood swings are worsened with caffeine intake. In one study reported in the American Journal of Public Health, 216 female college students were questioned as to the severity of their PMS symptoms in relationship to their caffeine intake. Interestingly, only 16 percent of the women who used no caffeine at all reported suffering from severe PMS symptoms. In contrast, 60 percent of those women drinking between 4.5 to 15 cups of caffeinated beverages per day reported severe symptoms. This fourfold difference in frequency of symptoms is quite significant.
For women with anxiety and panic episodes due to emotional triggers, caffeine can aggravate the frequency and severity of their episodes. Caffeine taken in excess (more than four or five cups per day) can dramatically increase anxiety, irritability, and mood swings. Even small amounts can make susceptible women jittery. After the initial jolt, women with anxiety symptoms find that caffeine intake makes them more tired.
Caffeine triggers anxiety and panic symptoms because it directly stimulates arousal mechanisms in the body. It raises the brain's level of nor-epinephrine, a neurotransmitter that increases alertness. It also triggers sympathetic nervous system activity, which causes fight or flight responses, such as increased pulse, breathing rate, and muscle tension. Thus, caffeine intake triggers the physiological responses typical of anxiety states. In addition, caffeine stimulates the release of stress hormones from the adrenal glands, further intensifying nervousness and jitteriness. By overstimulating the adrenals, chronic use of caffeine actually weakens them. Over time, this can lead to persistent fatigue and tiredness.
Besides causing anxiety symptoms, caffeine has a diuretic effect and speeds elimination of many minerals and vitamins that are essential to health during the menopausal years. Loss of potassium, zinc, magnesium, vitamin B, and vitamin C are accelerated with caffeine intake. Many of these nutrients, such as B-complex vitamins and magnesium, are needed for optimal functioning of the chemical reactions that convert food to usable energy.
Deficiency of these nutrients increases anxiety, mood swings, and fatigue. Depletion of B-complex vitamins through caffeine use also interferes with carbohydrate metabolism and healthy liver function, which help to regulate the blood sugar as well as estrogen levels. An imbalance in estrogen and progesterone can increase anxiety and mood swings in women with symptoms of PMS or menopause. Many menopausal women also complain that caffeine increases the frequency of hot flashes.
Coffee also reduces the absorption of iron and calcium from food and supplemental sources, particularly when taken at mealtimes. This is obviously of concern to women who want to prevent osteoporosis and iron deficiency anemia.
Caffeine use has also been linked to a worsening of nodularity and tenderness in women with benign breast disease. Studies published in both the Journal of the American Medical Association and Surgery reported decrease in breast pain as well as size of breast lumps for women when they eliminate caffeine from their diets. Many of my patients have reported a decrease in breast symptoms when discontinuing caffeine use. Women with frequent bladder infections or irritability and those suffering from interstitial cystitis, a debilitating chronic bladder disease, may also benefit from caffeine elimination.
Postmenopausal women who are at high risk of heart attacks and strokes due to their familial tendency or blood fat profiles may want to avoid caffeine use. Caffeine increases blood levels of cholesterol and triglycerides; both are risk factors for heart attacks. In addition, caffeine raises the blood pressure. High blood pressure, or hypertension, becomes increasingly prevalent with age and also is a risk factor for heart attacks and strokes. Caffeine also causes the heart to beat faster and increases the excitability of the system that conducts electrical impulses through the heart. This can lead to rapid and irregular heartbeat in susceptible women.
Caffeine use directly affects hydrochloric acid secretion in the stomach. Specifically, caffeine increases acid production, which is a risk factor for gastritis and peptic ulcer disease. If you are prone to heartburn or either of these medical conditions, you should eliminate all caffeinated beverages for symptom relief. Besides triggering acid production, caffeine also stimulates peristalsis of the gastrointestinal tract. This has a laxative effect, producing more frequent bowel movements and even diarrhea in susceptible women. Too loose bowel movements can affect the loss of essential nutrients like B vitamins and minerals that are seen with the frequent use of caffeine.


text:
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Hellboy: The Science of Evil will give players the opportunity to experience the epic adventures of
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I recently figured out how to use Socket.io and Node.js to control the speed of a CSS3 animation with a synthesizer:
I also got CoffeeScript playing drums for me with very little effort:
You can do this too.
I've started a new video series called Teaching The Robots To Sing, where I use music hacking to teach new JavaScript web development technologies. The first video in my new series is free, and it's right here. In it, I show you how anyone running OS X can control Garageband with Node.js. It's NSFW, but full of awesome.
You can stream it, in Flash video format:
You can also download it:
episode1.m4v (for iOS, OS X, and Apple TV)
Upcoming episodes will teach command-line TDD in CoffeeScript, building a Backbone app which generates sheet music, and of course the hack where I use a synthesizer to set the speed of a CSS3 animation. (If you don't have a synthesizer, I found a great free MIDI controller which allows you to control the animation with your trackpad instead.)
The web site, singrobots.com, is not live yet, but the second video is already finished. It's shorter and funnier than this one, and it shows you how to get started with excellent TDD in JavaScript.
I'll post that here on my blog for free as well, on Friday afternoon. But after that, if you find that you love this video series, you'll need to sign up to receive the other episodes, and you'll have to sign up sometime this coming weekend, because I'm closing signups late Sunday evening.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Making Music With JavaScript Is Easy: Free 35-Minute Video Shows You How
Posted by Giles Bowkett at 10:23 PM


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BS: The Mother of all BS threads
Share Thread
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 06 Jan 16 - 04:37 AM
Full "recovery" is anywhere from 1 to 6 weeks. Mostly, it's 1 to 2 weeks. Awake.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 10:48 PM
What a pity such a lovely young lady chimp, Chonga, took it into her head to change to Chongo (better known as Chongx). What a pity the operations were left incomplete, allowing Chongx to "do" his/herself. But what a relief to Chongx!
The best solution at this point is either gene surgery or euthanasia.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 07:49 PM
Rap uses words like "pee pee" and "poo poo" a lot. This is either because he is in his second childhood....or it's because he never grew up in the first place! Ook! Ook! It's like listenin' to Jar Jar Binks whenever Rap talks. "Me-sa go pee pee in my poo poo! Me-sa not like! Me-sa have plenty guns. Go bang-bang! Me-sa ears hurt soooooo bad!"
Well, he will get some re-education after I am elected so's he can learn to act like a grownup human. Chimps with baseball bats and rubber hoses sounds like the trick to me, after he gets took to the padded cell he is so much in need of. A couple months of "the treatment" and he will be ready to return to decent society.
If not, then we go to the serious stuff! Anacondas, the fire ant pit, and banana-boarding.
- Chongo
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 05:25 PM
Found the music store from which I am buying my bugle has bodhrans in stock! And tippets!
Whatever would I do with seventy bucks?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 05:20 PM
Good for you Gnu. How long is the healing time for 100% benefits ?
Were you awake for the stuffing?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 04:51 PM
Holy shit Batman! This dump really does need some housework. But, it'll have to wait until my catterwrecks are rectified.
Seriously, I can not only now see traffic lights and stops signs and the grocery store aisle signs, I can see the bathroom sink. And, it's scarier than not seeing stop signs. >;-)
The good news? I saw the doc early this AM. 100%! And, I am now able to drive legally. Well, he did say "today". So, right eye gets sliced and stuffed tomorrow and then I see him on Thursday BUT he didn't say I could NOT drive my car tomorrow or on Thursday. That begs the question... drive and save $40 in cab fare on Thursday to get to his office or be a non-asshole and take a cab? Rhetorical question. Everyone knows I am an asshole.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jan 16 - 09:03 AM
Good for you, Amos!
My brother once stood in the land between the lanes of a highway and took off his clothes. He told the police that he was a median strip. The police told him that they had doubts about him, but then so did everyone who knew him. He'd studied classical guitar, for instance, and saxophone, because he wanted to combine the instruments into "a saxiguitar."
My brother was a little, hm, eccentric.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 10:37 PM
Bravo, Gnuzer!
I went to a medium once to have my pee leaves read. She was a medium-large medium, and she looked at the leaves and started chortling with delight.
So I hit her in the face. My father always advised me to strike a happy medium.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 10:37 PM
Bravo, Gnuzer!
I went to a medium once to have my pee leaves read. She was a medium-large medium, and she looked at the leaves and started chortling with delight.
So I hit her in the face. My father always advised me to strike a happy medium.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 03:45 PM
"...and barbed wire in [your] underwear to head off disgrace."
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 02:55 PM
I live on Leeside Fuckin Drive, baby! I can see the street sign! It's green! I can see snow flakes! I can see pine needles! I can see pine needles waving in the wind! Right eye gets done Wednesday.
Hmmm... if I can see really good after these surgeries, will I start ogling the fairer sex again? That could be a problem. Not the ogling part but the stomping the primitive urges part. Nah... no problems. A lesson learned eh?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 11:41 AM
We have a large medium here (about 150 kg. and 4 meter tall) and a small medium (1.5 meters, 20 kg.) but no medium medium. Our large medium is quite expansive, while the small medium is a bit confined. I suppose a medium medium would be best, especially if they use a crystal ball or something. A medium medium medium, if you will, for the massage.
But I don't want to talk with B&C. I want to talk with J. Edgar and learn where he hid all of the photos and films, if Beelzebub will let him answer the medium medium medium's messenger.
Of course, Chongx wouldn't understand any of that, as s/he can only speak in Ook and throw poop and pee. Photos show that Chongx has lost both an eye and an arm and dyed her/himself purple -- making him/her a one-eyed, one-armed, flinging pee-pee purple ooker.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 03:05 AM
You gotta find a good medium if you wanta talk to Bonnie & Clyde, Rap.
- Chongo
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Jan 16 - 12:38 AM
I'd ask Bonnie and Clyde but they're dead. Just like Machine Gun Kelly, Pretty Boy Floyd, John Dillinger, Ma Barker's kids, and all the rest of those folks. Even J. Edgar himself.
Amos, I no longer need dentures. I've got implants!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 10:08 PM
Rapp stays home wrapped in the spirit of a denture.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Jan 16 - 08:18 PM
To them that got the spirit of adventure pumpin' in their veins, home can be found just about anywhere. In a tree. On a beach. In a cheap flophouse. In a fancy hotel. Behind the wheel of a fast car, tommy guns a-blazin'. Just ask Bonny & Clyde. Home is where ya find it, see? Cuz yer home is in yer heart. And if ya got a heart that knows no fear, then yer always at home.
- Chongo
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 11:34 PM
Well, actually I was not talking to you Rapparree--I was speaking to Mister Gnu. I understand your sense of relevancy and continuity is a bit haphazard and grossly narcissistic, but not everyone falls into the same trap you call home.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 10:27 PM
I have one going in on January 19; a measuring called an "A-scan" this coming Tuesday morning.
I will hold Amos to his word. If the new lens and the cataract removal do not make me see better I will expect a 200% refund of all cost involved from him.
Lunacy is not overrated. It gets you a job in politics, for instance.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 06:11 PM
IF my experience is anything to go by (with lenses, not lunacy) you will be delighted.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 12:25 PM
"ACUVAIL may blur your vision after you instill the drops."
No. Acuvail WILL blue your vision. Get yer shit tagether eh, Allegan of Markham, ON, Canada.
I am looking forward to having my eyes cut open and artificial lenses shoved in such that I will be able to see well enough to trim my stache and buzz the fuzz on my head. Um, well, the fuzz on the sides of my head... well, on three sides of my head. I got none on the front side of my head. Well, only on full moons, of course, but that's just for one night a month and, even then, only if the sky is clear or only partly cloudy. A lot of people think the hairy monster thing happens every full moon even if the sky is cloudy but that ain't so. Watch any of the documentaries and they all, to a one, clearly indicate that the moon glow must actually fall upon the afflicted for the phenomenon to be set in motion.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 12:25 PM
Bingo, bingo.Thanks to Mister Durrell--who wrote what he truly knew--and to Rapparree, who often does as well, sometimes! :D
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 12:03 PM
Oh! THAT Nelson!
A Ballad of the Good Lord Nelson
The Good Lord Nelson had a swollen gland,
Little of the scripture did he understand
Till a woman led him to the promised land
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Adam and Evil and a bushel of figs
Meant nothing to Nelson who was keeping pigs,
Till a woman showed him the various rigs
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
His heart was softer than a new-laid egg,
Too poor for loving and ashamed to beg,
Till Nelson was taken by the Dancing Leg
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Now he up and did up his little tin trunk
And he took to the ocean on his English junk,
Turning like the hourglass in his lonely bunk
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
The Frenchman saw him a-coming there
With the one-piece eye and the valentine hair,
With the safety-pin sleeve and the occupied air
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Now you all remember the message he sent
As an answer to Hamilton's discontent
There were questions asked about in the parliament
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Now the blacker the berry, the thicker comes the juice.
Think of Good Lord Nelson and avoid self-abuse,
For the empty sleeve was no mere excuse
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
"England Expects" was the motto he gave
When he thought of little Emma out on Biscay's wave,
And he remembered working on her like a galley slave
aboard the Victory, Victory O.
The first Great Lord in our English land
To honour the Freudian command,
For a cast in the bush is worth two in the hand
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Now the Frenchman shot him there as he stood
In the rage of battle in a silk-lined hood
And he heard the whistle of his own hot blood
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Now stiff on a pillar with a phallic air
Nelson stylites in Trafalgar Square
Reminds the British what once they were
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
If they'd treat their women in the Nelson way
There'd be fewer frigid husbands ev'ry day
And many more heroes on the Bay of Biscay
Aboard the Victory, Victory O.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 11:58 AM
Nelson? Nelson? Ricky Nelson? Ozzy Nelson? Harriet Nelson? Matthew and Gunnar? Willie? Nelson Mandela? Baby Face? Nelson's Encyclopedia?
To which Nelson do you refer, Amos? There's a nest of them rascals!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 11:13 AM
Well, of course he is! He's a librarian by training. How could he not?
So here we are. January has ALREADY slipped a pawl and lurched ito Day Two, and nothing has been done about the really important stuff. So I get the feeling the 2016 huzzah will probably peter out and result in another goddamned year of kvetch and haul, kvetch and haul.
What we need more of is victory, that's what! Victory over lassitude! Victory over neurosis! Victory over--dare I say it?--stupidness! Victory over irrelevance and fatuousness and addle-pated clunkerheadedness of all kinds!
Mom is surely our only hope. I exhort you all, as you value your spiritual side, and treasure your very freedom and your sovereign self-determination, to press on! Press on! To Victory!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 10:39 AM
I hope you're collecting all of those somewhere, Rap.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 16 - 10:28 AM
A thousand dollars was a lot more money then than it seems to be now. When we were growing up, a thousand dollars could buy a nearly-new car or be the down-payment on a house. And the prize in the decennial Adams County Cup sailboat race was a thousand dollars.
We weren't the top-notch sailors that would be needed to win the race. We weren't members of the Bay Island Yacht Club, and we didn't have the hundred dollars non-members had to pay to enter the race. And of course we didn't have a sailboat.
Nevertheless, Ted thought that we should try. He said that we could sail up to the starting line just as the cannon boomed the beginning of the race and then they couldn't stop us from racing. And when we won they'd have to give us the prize, because we would be the winners. We could pay the entry fee from the winnings.
Naturally the boat would have to be built in secret, but it would have to be near to the water so that we could sail to the Bay easily. The Swamp, then, was the obvious place for our secret boatyard.
The race was the second weekend in August, and we began building out boat in early March. Actually, we'd started in early January, making a boat out of snow. We thought that it would be faster than any other boat because snow is frozen water and we'd be sailing through water, so there wouldn't be any resistance to our boat and we could beat everyone in the race who had a wooden boat, or fiberglass, or anything.
Unfortunately, our boat melted and we had to build one out of wood.
Our keel was made from 2-by-4s we salvaged from an old house that was being torn down. In fact, most of our boat came from the wood of the old house. We'd walk to it on a Saturday morning when the people tearing it down weren't there and take whatever we needed from the pile of scrap wood. We knew that it was scrap because we'd ask them, and they had told us to "help ourselves to the scraps."
It was too hard to bend the 2-by-4s into a curve for the bow, so we just cut angles on a couple of pieces and nailed them together. It was also difficult to bend the boards which we used for the sides, so we just sort of angled them too. The side boards were really hard to put on because they were so short and we had to use so many of them.
The bottom was easy. We just followed Ted's advice and nailed a bunch of boards on without worrying about the outline of the sides of the boat. When they were all nailed in place we trimmed off what stuck out over the shape of the boat.
Ted said that we needed tarred oakum to caulk the boat, but we didn't have any and didn't know what it was. So Tony and I stuck lots of dried grass and mud into whatever cracks and holes we found. Of course, we didn't use that on the bottom because we knew that it would wash out. On the bottom we put a nice, thick coat of concrete. Tony expressed our thoughts when we said, "Let's see that wash away!"
When the concrete had dried we stepped the mast. This means that we put it into the hole that the mast goes into and nailed it in tight.
Stepping the mast wasn't easy, either. Our mast was the straightest tree we could find that was also long enough to be a mast, but was still short enough to work with. We finally used a dead tree about twelve feet long. It was pretty straight, too.
Sails were easy. Grandma had brought some old canvas awnings with her when she moved into our house. We didn't use them and she said we could have them when we asked her for them. They were pretty, too: red and yellow stripes with scalloped bottoms.
After the mast was stepped and the sails readied, we painted our boat. Ted painted his part green, Tony painted his part blue, and I painted my part yellow (to match the stripe in the sails). Naturally we didn't paint the concrete bottom because nobody would see the bottom unless we sank, which we weren't about to do.
And then, one June afternoon, we launched her (boats are always referred to as "her"). Ted bought a bottle of Kayo Chocolate Soda to break over her bow as he said, "I christen thee" and he got as far as the "I christen thee" when we realized that we hadn't decided on a name for our boat. So we sat down and shared the soda while we decided on a name. We figured that the reason for a christening was to break the bottle, which was to see if the boat was built well enough to break a bottle on, and we didn't need to waste the soda if all we needed to do was to break the bottle.
After some little debate, Tony and I convinced Ted that our boat should be called "Queen Anne's Revenge" (after Blackbeard's boat) instead of "Petunia." He agreed, so we let him up. We decided to call her "Revenge" for short.
We'd planned well when we built "Revenge" because we built her along side of a stream. Mom was always telling us to think ahead and we had!
Launching "Revenge" was supposed to be easy, since there was a stream close by and all. It wasn't -- she weighed a lot more than we thought! But after two days she was afloat, and we were glad school was out so that we could spend the time we needed with her.
She filled the stream nearly bank to bank, and it wasn't possible to float her to the nearest larger body of water. We tried, too, but whenever one of us got into her her bottom came to rest on the bottom of the stream. So we tied ropes to her bow and pulled her along. We knew, of course, that we'd be okay when we got to deeper water.
"She sure pulls hard," said Tony.
"Aye, that she does, matey," I agreed nautically. "But when we've got her afloat and the mains'ls mizzened and the gunnells are off to larb'rd, why, blast me barnacles, but we'll be bending the sheets off the jibs'l!"
"Right!" Ted agreed. "Whatever you said. Whatever it means."
And then Ted said that he knew why she was pulling so hard.
"Simple," he explained. "You guys coated the bottom with concrete. You had to leave rough spots, right? So what we need to do is to smooth the concrete and she'll just zip along! It'll give us an edge in the race, too!"
"Hold it!" Tony exclaimed. "Right now the banks along the stream are six feet high. The water is six inches under the boat. I, for one, am not going to pull "Revenge" up the bank to work on her bottom, or try to dive under her with a piece of sandpaper!"
"Come on, be a sport," I urged. "I'll hand you the sandpaper if you'll dive under the boat to sand the bottom. I'll even stand in the boat to help you when you're under her."
"No!" said Tony, and I knew that he meant it.
Ted said, "We don't have to do any of that. Sandpaper is just sand, right? And there's a pool of quicksand right ahead. It's deep enough to float "Revenge" so all we have to do is put her in the quicksand and sail her across to the other side. It's about a half a mile straight across, or about two miles if we drag her around the edge. So we sail her across, testing her seaworthiness with the voyage, smoothing her bottom and saving ourselves from dragging her an additional two miles!"
"I dunno," I said.
"I dunno," Tony said.
But by the time we got "Revenge" to the edge of the quicksand pool we were all for sailing her across. The breeze was brisk and scudding puffy white clouds across a bright blue sky. "Revenge" floated easily on the quicksand, her green and blue and yellow (and brown and white and red and black -- we had run out of paint) hull brave against the green of the Springtime trees. We jumped aboard (carefully) and before you could say "Jack Robinson" (assuming you wanted to say it) we had the sails up and were skidding across the surface of the quicksand like a duck!
And she worked well, too! Oh, sure, we had some few problems to work out but we knew that was to be expected on every new boat. And once we convinced Ted that the rudder really did belong in the back of the boat instead of at the bow, why, there
wasn't a boat to beat her in the entire Boogie Swamp!
We lounged back, letting the wind do the work, listening to the grains of sand smoothing the hull of our racing sloop.
"This sure is the life, isn't it?" asked Tony.
"This sure is the life, isn't it?" asked Ted.
"Why has the wind died?" I asked.
And slowly we lost way and became becalmed in the middle of the biggest, deepest quicksand pool in the entire Swamp.
"Now what'll we do?" asked Tony, after the wind hadn't blown for a couple of hours.
"Let's eat lunch!" said Ted, brightly.
"It's on shore. Bring mine back too, when you go get yours," I replied.
"Oh," Ted said.
"I know!" Ted exclaimed. "Mike's the best swimmer. He can swim to shore with the anchor rope in his teeth. Then he can tie it to a tree and pull us in!"
"Let's let him swim to shore with the anchor in his teeth," Tony said.
"Let's let Ted swim to shore," I said. "After all, sailing across was his idea."
"There's merit in that," Tony agreed.
"Wait!" said Ted. "Let's throw out the anchor!"
"Why?" asked Tony. "We're not moving now."
"Because then we can pull on the anchor rope and we'll be pulled forward to where the anchor is. And then we do it again and again until we reach shore!" explained Ted.
"Great idea!" said Tony, and tossed the anchor about a hundred feet forward of the bow.
"It would have been an even better idea for Ted to have tied the rope to the
anchor," I allowed.
"Nice splash, though," Tony observed. "I wonder how big of a splash Ted would make."
Time went by and finally I asked them for their shirts.
There was a some skepticism expressed after I explained my plan, but since neither of them had a better one we put it into practice.
I tied two pieces of wood into an "X" and rigged the shirts (I used mine, too) to it. Then I tied a short piece of rope to the front of the "X" and a weight to it. The rest of the anchor rope was tied to the middle of the other side of the "X".
"How quaint," observed Ted, "a sea anchor. If a storm comes up we'll be thankful that we have it."
But I threw it from the bow, not from the stern, and when I pulled on the anchor rope the shirts resisted the quicksand just enough for us to move the boat forward! After the first five or six tosses Ted and Tony caught on and helped. In another hour we were getting near to shore.
"Has it seemed to you," I asked Tony, "that the boat is getting harder to pull forward?"
"It has," he responded.
"It is getting harder," said Ted. "There's a hole in the bottom which has been leaking for the last ten or fifteen minutes. I didn't tell you guys before because I didn't want to worry you."
Boy, was there tossing and pulling after that! But the boat was getting lower and lower and harder and harder to pull forward, and we were getting more and more tired. Finally, Tony and Ted fell to the deck exhausted!
"Leave me to the quicksand!" said Ted faintly. "I'm the captain and I'll go down with my ship."
"Who's the captain?" asked Tony. "I'll be going down with my ship!"
"I'm going ashore," I said, and stepped off of the bow!
They jumped to their feet crying "He's crazy! He's jumped overboard!" and they rushed to the bow.
And there they saw me, standing on dry ground and watching "Queen Anne's Revenge" slowly sinking by the stern into the quicksand.
"Care to join me, gentlemen?" I asked graciously.
We did salvage our shirts, even though they were pretty well used up, but "Revenge" slipped into the depths below a few seconds after Ted and Tony came ashore. She rests there today, part of the vast flotilla of vessels which have through the ages came to rest in Neptune's realm. Mom was annoyed about the shirts and about us being late for supper.
Even so, she made a wonderful dinner of potatoes: Yukon Gold and Purple Peruvians and Idahos and Reds and Russets and Maines and Irish. There was potato bread and potato salad, too, and lots of potato soup. Naturally, we drank poteen, and raised our glasses in a toast to "Queen Anne's Revenge."
Mom thought we were drinking to Montezuma's Revenge and told us not to be silly.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 11:42 PM
In the depths of Hawkster's psyche
Many mansions may be viewed!
While in Rapparree's dark heartspace
There are really just a few.
Hawkster's room are bright or faded
Some are purple, some are pink.
Rapparree's are dull and jaded
Smell of saltpeter and zinc!
Rapp's are clever rooms of knowledge,
Data flows in endless streams.
While in Hawksters weird cabanas
Weird creatures haunt his dreams.
Hamsters dance and wino tumble
Strange persona dance in need;
Rapp's few faces all are talking
Caliber and muzzle speed.
Should we send them off together
To some land of thoughtful style
They could hammer out their difference
On that peaceful, distant isle!
Let them there keep bloviating
Far across the briny seas
And leave Mom and all her siblings
Safe at home, at last at peace!
Winifred Torricelli, Songs My Father Forgot
Pullpudd and Bulroar, pubs.
Ghastly on Sight, 2001
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 09:49 PM
Don, if you turned the hose on Shame it would help make the stink go away. Sure, he'd be angry, but you and I both know that he's a wuss.
Oh what a wuss we have in Shame-y
He is wussdom's biggest wuss!
Shoots his mouth off without ending,
He's just a wussy wussy wuss.
--Old Ontarian Folk Song
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Don McBride
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 05:00 PM
Last night was awesome! But the place is one hell of a mess. YOU can't even imagine. The little brother had a bit too much booze and he is wishin' he was dead now. He keeps groanin' and sayin' he will NEVER drink again, eh? Ha! Ha! I hearn that one before. I am gonna go out on the town again coz I can't flippin' stand to listen to him wail and moan and carry on no longer. Besides, it stinks in here!
- Don
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 16 - 12:35 PM
You know you're in trouble when your labor-saving devices start to ruin your day.
Bluster McFuzzdiddle says so.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 05:54 PM
I intended only one post but touch screen technology helps me hit the wrong virtual buttons.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 05:43 PM
Spoken like a true fellow idealist who naturally worries.
The professional idealists of the left over baby boomer generation of WWII know that the problem of how susceptible we are as a species to the lure of strong arm authority and Military Congressional Complexes.
I used to think if we are so easily hypnotized by the evil it should be easy to hypnotize for the good.
Then I found out that it is a hard sell to convince others that reasonable poverty for the greater good and all weapon production will suck the life from you, your family and the world.
In 1970 if you wandered around Times Square on New Years eve you would hear cells of music groups overlapping every twenty feet.
It was all about the crowd and you were part of it with friends or all alone. Slowly the Times Square experience was sold more as a spectator sport and now concert going ticket holders under extreme security.
Most recently the crowd is evolving into a unspoken mass fear of being a terrorist target.
Be free, make your own music, if authorities ban personal expression defy the authorities and dance like Amos says.
We don't celebrate just time but the possibility of Joy.
Happy New Year.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 05:38 PM
The flippin' greatest night of the year is fast apporchin'!!! NEW FLIPPIN' YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Me and Don and our buddies are gonna get sooooooooooo flippin' drunk toinite that it will be EPIC!!! First the wet T-shrit contest at the flippin' Iron Horse! Then the beers!!! Then more bEERS! This is gonna be so great! I am gonna make 2016 the drunkest flippin' year of my LIFE!!!!!! And it all starts now!
- Shane, eh?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 05:25 PM
Spoken like a fellow brother of idealism. As a left over of the WWII baby boomers I see little progress of educating everyone to the knowledge of how easily we as a species to being hypnotized and propagandized into the paralyzing expectancy of fear and tribal loathing.
As a professional idealist the recommendation of reasonable impoverishment for the better good and an abandonment of strong arm authority and the military Congressional Complex was more than an impossible sell. It was anathema in the eyes of the Jesuit church and the CIA and every common person with an ounce of greed. An ounce of weed was more persuasive to idealism than words.
The solemn gloom cast over the world blamed on unreasoned horrific terrorism is a seismic level 4 compared to the seismic level 5 of the murders we commit on each other by guns or simply ignoring the dangers of repeating our failures.
When you are in Time Square on New Years Eve 1970 you celebrate the crowd you are part of. Hundreds of cells of amateur music groups all with different voices and song.It has evolved to a spectator event and now the crowd is seen as a terrorist target.
TAKE BACK the night and make it what you want. If authorities ban the music of free souls do what Amos says, dance. BE FREE .
There is more to be hopeful for than regret. The true adults effectively out number the fear merchants. May we all learn how little we know in a true enlightenment and strong arm authority and negative hypnosis.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Dec 15 - 03:51 PM
The year is choking and bleeding out in its final hours. It strikes me as a bit off, how much kafluffle this generates, really. All the same objects are persisting in all the same trajectories, instant by instant, after all. Making heap powerful magic out of one of those instances seems a bit on the superstitious side, no? Tribal, in a way. A sort of wide-spread Rain Dance or something.
But as long as we are insisting on counting up time in chunks, we may as well dance about it, I suppose. Little enough to dance about these days If we're so damn good at inventing celebrations to honor the tick of time, why aren't we good at inventing sufficient grounds for celebration?
Just imagine! "Big party!! We just eliminated emphysema!". "Buy champagne!! The rain forest is back on a growth curve!!" "Hand out the noisemakers, Charley! We had zero violent deaths this month!!"
But nooo-ooo. We have to celebrate the stupidest arbitrary in our collective psyches, Time itself. Really, it is pathetic!
Happy New Year, Mom!!!!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 10:08 PM
I haven't done that in at least a week, maybe two. It's pretty standard out here in Idaho, but good manners to politely return an eye, ear, finger, or anything that might have come off in the fight.
As for movies, we saw the "Peanuts" movie. It wasn't bad at all, Snoopy got a girlfriend (Fifi, a WWI combat pilot), and they reprised some of the classic stuff from previous movies/TV shows. Of course it helped that we went to the morning showing on a schoolday -- private showing! Quite enjoyable.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 05:14 PM
Whatever happened to simply fighting over which movies to watch over the holiday break? What is this talk of eye-gouging?
Lord of the Rings, anyone?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 15 - 10:07 AM
No, it'd be Shame.
I don't posture. It's flight or fight with me and it's almost always flight. In fact, I flee before danger threatens because it's easier not to get involved in the first place.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 11:23 PM
If Rapp ever took on Chongo, you know how you would tell the combatants apart? The one beating his chest loudly and bellowing is NOT the chimp.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 09:16 PM
Shame, you ever hear what Jack Slade did to Jules Beni? Would you like me to do that to you?
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 04:13 PM
Shame, I only copied the newspaper report. But..well, okay.
GYT, eye gouging, it all goes! Come on, ya coward!
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 01:01 PM
You flippin' LYER!!! I will flippin' kill you for this! You sayin' I been gettin' it on with a chimp???????????? With a goddam monkey???? You are outta yer flippin' mind you idiot!
- Shane (!!!)
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 15 - 09:42 AM
Chimp and Chump Split!
Blind River, Dec 28 -- Local Shane "Shame" McBride and visiting chimpanzee "Chongo Chimp" have called off getting it on.
McBride was overheard at Tim Horton's complaining that Chimp is a "lousy lover and I mean the bugs, but he (if he is a he) isn't real good, either." McBride went on to say that he'd "had better in the lockup."
He also denied that the rift had anything to do with his older brother, Don McBride, returning to the house he owns after a month in Toronto.
Chimp could not be reached for comment.
--Blind River Bugle, December 29, 2015. p. 1.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 10:21 PM
Frau Percival:
My family's pied a terre in Bavaria was Neuschwanstein Castle. While we were getting it back from Ludwig II (who claimed to have built it!), we used lesser homes such as Schlosslinderhof and Hohenschwangau when we were in Bavaria. Of course, we usually stayed home in Sigmaringenhof but one does need a bit of travel now and then!
You are quite welcome to come to any of them; I assume you are a chambermaid and won't mind helping out as needed. I can assure you of a bed, a washstand, a mirror, and a chair in a room with no more than four others. Being concerned about the welfare of our servants we had the stairs made at a lesser angle than usual even though it took up more space that we might have used for better purposes.
If you'd prefer, my wife's folks have some places in Ireland but they are not as spacious or comfortable as our places in Germany -- the sassenach, you know.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 08:29 PM
Insult the Great Plagiaree
ANd he'll demand apology
But should he err, the Plagiarizer
He'll leave yo sit there, none the wiser
With Rapp-wool pulled across your eyes,
And never does apologize.
Thus, in the Holy MOAB sessions
The accusations are confessions,
And Rapp confesses all, as such
By his protesting overmuch!
Quentiss Surly Snarlbelly
Chief Antagonist
Penn Station Men's Room Wall, 1957
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Constance Percival
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 06:17 PM
"crawl on your belly in the dust and dung while craving my forgiveness"
This, I believe, is what employees who have failed in some small way to come up to the required standards and expectations must do for Mistress Penelope and Master Winston in order to continue in service at Rutledge Manor.
Those who have failed in more significant ways, of course are sacked! In former times they'd have been flayed alive or beheaded, but various legal restrictions have been placed on the gentry in the wake of troublesome social movements. One hopes that the advance of corporate globalization will soon restore the working classes to their proper place of unquestioning servitude...
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 01:52 PM
The Kee-Kee Birds have arrived from their summer nesting grounds up north. Fuckers.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 15 - 10:15 AM
Yes, I thought so too, Amos. We can learn from children.
But I must take slight umbrage with your preceding statements. I greatly fear that you have insulted my forebears and kin and I must ask you for a formal apology in this same forum. You need not abase yourself, or give thousands to a church, or crawl on your belly in the dust and dung while craving my forgiveness. But a simple apology and contrition, with a promise that if you do it again you will cut a finger off or something, will suffice. I am not a wrathful, vengeful,
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 11:37 PM
Yeah, well Rapp's folks were always telling him to go fork himself, and when he wouldn't do it they told he was forked up anyway.
That is a touching video in spite of the wiseassery, and in spite of my dedicated polyagnosticism---meaning there are a whole lot of gods I don't know whether they are extant or not.
Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 15 - 09:33 PM
Yeah, but being from NB you were told over and over "Don't scratch your eye with your fork!"


text:
This Operator Reviews
|Sherry and Bob Cox - from United States
|14 Day Cape Town, Garden Route, Kruger Park
|rating 5/5
|Our 13 day tour was the experience of a lifetime that we will never forget.
We are so glad we booked through this company because we did so many varied things from wine tasting, exploring the garden route, the panorama route, and safari trips in Kruger Park. We even saw the big 5 of Africa in one 24 hour period in Kruger. What an amazing experience! Thank you so much for providing so many wonderful things. We saw so many animals and felt we could not have had a better trip under any circumstances! Thank you so much for all the planning and wonderful guide, Mart van der Walt.
We will always remember our wonderful African experience. We are seasoned travelers and have never had a more wonderful tour. We highly recommend you to all our friends who are traveling to Africa in the future. Again, many thanks!!!!
|Mark Irwin - from Australia
|8 Day Johannesburg via Kruger & Durban to Lesotho
|rating 5/5
|My 15 year old son and I have just got back from our Guided Tour. We arranged a private tour based around one of their advertised tours.
The before tour organisation was fantastic with quick responses and accurate details.
Our Guide was very professional and very experienced.
Our accommodation exceeded our expectations which was a good thing.
We would have no problems in recommending this Company to anyone based on our experiences.
|Pierre Agassiz - from Switzerland
|Cape Town, Kruger Park Safari & Victoria Falls
|rating 5/5
|Excellent tour, lot to see....our guide Nico was just great, looking for everything to make us comfortable. The drive was excellent, the timing was made for us, stops as we wanted, so all near perfection.
Please keep this level of quality without raising the prices
|Kerry Turner - from Indonesia
|currently unavailable
|rating 5/5
|The holiday excelled our expectations ...
From the minute our Guide Nic picked us up at Jo Burg airport to the time he dropped us back at our hotel ... Nic was so informed and helpful .. Answer all our questions and gave us a full history etc of South Africa which was excellent as our first visit ...
Can't thank the Company and Nic for the best trip ever ...
|Omar - from Malta
|currently unavailable
|rating 5/5
|We have completed the Safari last Friday and all we can say is that we really had a great experience.
The guide we had was very much prepared, very Knowledgeable and experienced. He gave us a lot of tips on how to make our Safari an enjoyable one. He also had an amazing flair on how to spot animals that we could not dream of spotting if we did it on our own.
We were not much lucky with the amount of animals we saw but at least we managed to see 4 out of the BIg 5. We only missed the Leopard. But still Nic, our guide dida lot of efforts to try and spot as many animals as he could.
|Sarah Smyth - from Australia
|currently unavailable
|rating 5/5
|We only had one week in South Africa before heading to UK. The operator organised our pick up from the hotel, transfer to the Lodge at the Game Park and return to Johanesburg.
The Lodge was fantastic and catered very well for our 8 year old. We saw 4 of the Big 5 plus many many more animals. The rangers and staff were excellent. From Johanesburg we caught the Premier Classe train to Cape Town which is a great way to see some of the countryside without flying over the top. Again the service was excellent.
They also arranged for our transfer at Cape Town to our hotel.
The arrangements from start to finish were excellent. Everything happened as promised, transfers waiting for us at all stops, good hotels, great train journey and fantastic safari.
We can't wait to go back again.
|William Fletcher - from United States
|Cape Town, Kruger Park Safari & Victoria Falls
|rating 5/5
|Booked a package starting in Cape Town, then to Victoria Falls, then Johannesburg and Kruger.
The operator was wonderful to work with - we were able to do everything by email, which was very convenient.
The accommodations he selected were excellent and everything went as planned.
I would highly recommend them to assist with travel plans in South Africa.
|Tom and Linda Hermans - from United States
|14 Day Cape Town, Garden Route, Kruger Park
|rating 5/5
|We can't say enough positive things about the wonderful Beauty by Diversity tour we just completed.
Cecil was always extremely prompt in answering all of our questions, and he had great suggestions when we asked how to fit a few changes into our itinerary.
Our guide, Nico, took care of everything for us - almost to the point where we forgot how to think on our own! In addition to having enormous insight into the culture and wildlife of South Africa, he was well-organized, knew exactly where he was going, and had a great sense of humor. Everyday was filled with laughter and fun. The food and accommodations were wonderful as well.
Everything was well-planned and went without a hitch, and we truly felt like we got a tremendous value for our money. South Africa is one of the most beautiful countries in the world, and our diverse itinerary gave us a great taste of what it has to offer. Table Mountain, Cape Point, Pongola, the Featherbed Experience, Kruger Park, and all of South Africa's natural beauty, mix of cultures, and amazing wildlife will stay with us forever.
Thanks again, Cecil and Nico! It was a trip of a lifetime, and it certainly was above and beyond what we expected.
|Tania O'Toole - from Ireland
|14 Day Cape Town, Garden Route, Kruger Park
|rating 5/5
|My overall experience was wonderful, Cecil was so helpful prior to Departure, gave us tonnes of ideas on what to do when we did have spare time and the Itenery itself was fantastic !
When we arrive we never once had to worry about what we had to do or where to go, it was all so organised and Nic our driver went above and beyond the call of duty. My Partner proposed over there so between Nic and Cecil they organised a jewellers to go too, again above and beyond !
South Africa, has such a natural beauty, diverse cultures, and amazing wildlife, is undoubtedly one of the most spectacular countries in this world I would recommended my trip and how to organise it through yourselves and the operator !
|Roger Hainsworth - from United Kingdom
|Luxury Kruger Safari & Cape Town
|rating 5/5
|thank you to the operator for organising such a memorable and enjoyable visit to South Africa.
We certainly saw a lot of the country are all inspired to visit again in the not too distant future.
The accommodation was excellent. The lodges especially were absolutely wonderful. The best thing, however, was our guide. Mart was excellent. She was a mine of information but, more importantly, she became one of our group and we were all sorry when we had to leave her.
Their logo is certainly correct; we did leave as friends.
|11167094 - from Thailand
|Cape Town - Kruger Park - Victoria Falls Luxury
|rating 5/5
|Our tour of South Africa was one of the most Memorable for my family!!
Starting from Vic falls which was enchanting and breath-taking --something that cannot be described by words!!
We then flew to Cape Town and spent a few days absorbing the beauty of the Table mountains;Water front and enjoying the food;people and atmosphere!!--My teenage kids did not want to leave the Cape!! The operator had organized the trip so that we could also experience the Cape of good hope scenery before we departed on the Garden route to Port Elizabeth
That in itself was mesmerizing and a new experience-wine tasting and taking photos with the Cheetahs!! We than flew to Durban.--being Hindus, we requested a visit to a Hindu Temple in a far away land and this too was granted!! We went to Hari-Krishna Temple ;attended Poojas and were off to another enchanting drive all the way to the Dransburg Mountains.
Stayed in a most lovely cottage--rosewood where Liza and Paul treated us like a family and made our trip even more cosy and memorable. Took the drive up Sani pass;visited Lesotho--where my daughter bought her hat!!--and I had my Beer in the Highest Bar in Africa!!- Could not have asked for more
Last phase was to drive all the way to Kruger National--where Lo and Behold our every wise and considerate guide--Nick-- did the impossible--showed us all the big five and additional 22 birds and 15 different animals. Most significant event was when we were driving on the track a Massive Bull elephant blocked our path and was slowing moving towards our van --all its ears flared up Nick--the seasoned guide and hunter stood his ground and very tactfully blew his horn and had the bull give way!!
Kids keep talking about this every day!! New year was at the park--had Kudus--delicious !!
In 18 days; the operator had provided such a agenda that we understood SA and why it can be Gods Country!! Service;transportation and lodging were all excellent--baring some minor resorts that did not live up to our expectations!!
It was a trip of a life time--value for money all the way If anyone wants see god Country--go South Africa!!
|Carl L. Pherson - from United States
|14 Day Cape Town, Garden Route, Kruger Park
|rating 5/5
|Our experience and specifically with our guide, Mart van der Walt, was thoroughly enjoyable and informative.
We were absolutely thrilled by seeing all the BIG FIVE and so many more species of animals and birds as well as the spectacular scenery from Cape Town to Kruger Park to Johannesburg.
My wife and I and two young women from Ireland traveled in a up-to-date van with a good speaker system and stayed in pleasant accommodations. We had numerous opportunities for interaction, not only about the wildlife and geography, but also about the history and cultures that created 21st century South Africa in comparison to that of our own countries.
|Kalle, Bärbel and Bine - from Germany
|Family Safari in Malaria Free Big 5 Reserve
|rating 5/5
|Thank you to our guide, Andre, it was perfekt . thanks for passion with the animals und patience with our broken english...
and all in all perfect organisation... thanks a lot
|Richard and Stephanie Coggill - from United Kingdom
|8 Day Johannesburg via Kruger & Durban to Lesotho
|rating 5/5
|Now we have been back for a week we just wanted to send a quick note to say how delighted we were with our South Africa trip.
The accommodation and the itinerary developed for us was perfect. The mixture and style of lodges together with the different types of locations worked really well.
Andre was an excellent guide: attentive and knowledgable and he provided us with a wealth of information about the country and the wildlife.
We would not hesitate to recommend this operator to others planning a trip to South Africa.
Thank you once again.
|Ted Steiner - from Canada
|currently unavailable
|rating 4.5/5
|Overall we had an excellent experience. The guide, Andre, was outstanding. The food and the vehicle were great.
I would happily recommend this tour to friends or family, particularly if Andre is available as the guide.
Thanks for helping provide this experience for us.
|Kathryn Davis - from United Kingdom
|14 Day Cape Town, Garden Route, Kruger Park
|rating 5/5
|Yes, thank you we had a lovely holiday, I guess we didn't fully appreciate the difference between the basic government run lodges in the Kruger and the more elaborate ones that you see in the brochures. However, this did not spoil our enjoyment and we all had a very good holiday, now for the feedbck.
First of all we would like to say thank-you to you and Cecil for all the information and advice supplied to enable us to have a most fantastic holiday in South Arica.
We chose the trip Beauty by Diversity and with Mart as our guide, who was very knowledgeable on all animals, birds, plants, history and culture we felt we achieved a fantastic amount from those 13 days.
We had perfect weather for Table Mountain and one of our party abseiled part way down, only to find she had to climb up again!!
The scenery on the Garden Route was spectacular. My husband said the Aqarium in Durban is the best he has ever seen and could have spent a lot longer there.
In Kruger we saw so many animals, its easier to say the only one we didn't see was the leopard. We were impressed with the country and the friendliness of all the people we met and would very much like to go back.
Thanks again to Vera, Cecil and particularly Mart who drove theCombi and guided us for over 2000 miles.
|Steve & Nicky Hilliar - from United Kingdom
|currently unavailable
|rating 5/5
|Happy to provide feedback on our recent trip to South Africa.
My wife, Nicky and I arranged much of the trip over the internet and took a 3 day safari.
Cecil was most helpful in advising on the 'independent' part of our holiday. We wanted a safari in a non malaria area,
The accommodation was supurb and organisation faultless, we saw lion, elephant, zebra, rhino, giraffe, hyena, sable, eland, wildebeest, buffalo and more. Tremendous viewing for us on our first safari.
From our initial contact, organising the safari (and tour of Pretoria at the end of the holiday), being collected and dropped off at the airport all was handled efficiently by friendly and knowledgable tour guides.
|Robyn Lassey - from New Zealand
|Family Safari in Malaria Free Big 5 Reserve
|rating 4.5/5
|We were indeed very happy with the arrangements made for us for our South African safari trip to Pilanasburg.
Rudolph was a WONDERFUL guide. He arrived very promptly to pick us up from the hotel - indeed he was early. From the very beginning he did all he could to ensure that our experience was a wonderful one. His knowledge of the birds and animals was great and he shared so much with us. We found him to be friendly, approachable and always cognisant of our needs. I could not praise him enough and would thoroughly recommend him to anyone wanting a safari guide.
The accomodation arranged was great.
I think it is always a good measure of a holiday to be able to say at the end of it "if we were doing this again - and knew it was the only opportunity we would have to do this we would do exactly the same thing"!
Your efforts on our behalf were very much appreciated.
|Francisco Tome - from Portugal
|14 Day Cape Town, Garden Route, Kruger Park
|rating 5/5
|We are now back to work after an excellent holidays in SA.
This email is to say thank you for the excellent tour to the operator who organized our group. Really everything was very well prepared and the choices were all very good. Marta was excellent and made us felling her like a friend and not a guide what was wonderful.
We hope you can return one day to SA and than we will contact you again.
|Susan Green - from Canada
|currently unavailable
|rating 5/5
|We found this operator through The Africa Guide.
Cecil contacted me with all the information I could ever need in planning a trip to South Africa which was quite useful.
We were going to be in South Africa for 9 days and had a big list of places we wanted to see so we arranged a customized itinerary. They worked with me tirelessly to include everything in our itinerary and to stay within our budget using a combination of day tours and self drive.
Our trip was fantastic. The tours were great and we were very happy with all the accommodations.
For anyone traveling to South Africa, I would highly recommend using this tour operator


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Le Brun, L. is the author of 'Materials For Translating From English Into French', published 2009 under ISBN 9781104189075 and ISBN 1104189070.[read more]
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Miley Cyrus Rocks Mohawk on Love Cover [PHOTO]
Miley Cyrus has another magazine cover for her repertoire, this time the U.K. outlet Love. The singer's tongue remains in her mouth (for once) and she rocks a pink mohawk.
The singer has talked about being punk rock for a while and this cover shot is probably most true to that style.
It's a profile shot and Cyrus' eyes are firmly closed and her pale pink lips are pursed, as though she is lost in thought.
She's also rocking a frilly, coral-colored, high-collar shirt, which frames her face.
It's a subdued image for her, save for the pink hair and all.
Notice that Miss Miley has the word "LOVE" tattooed on her ear, so that makes the cover that much more fitting.
PopCrushers and Smilers, what do you think of Miley's latest mag cover look?
The issue lands next month.


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Pull the Plug
Maya Angelou once said, "Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud." When I was a little girl, I thought being a doctor was the only way one could save the people who were in need of help. Growing up in my teenage years, it came to my attention that I was wrong. If I could earn a living doing what I love the most, it'd be to have an organization that helps young kids and a PhD in law.
Frequently, one might be struggling with life, having a low self-esteem, or just wanting to give up. It might be because this kid has been raped or abused. No one really knows because they're scared to cry for help, or maybe because they've been threatened; these are the kids I want to help. I want to have an organization where these young kids have someone they can trust, whenever they need a shoulder to cry on. I want to have a place where there can call "home", do charity work to raise money for them. They also need someone to teach them, not to let anyone become a vacuum, and suck the happiness out of them.
Finally, they need to surround themselves with people who are only going to lift them higher, and I want to become that SOMEONE! As long as you set up your mind on something, you can become anything in this world; and these goals will begin from one place – Florida International University.


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This text blends instructional approaches that include vocabulary, practice, and well-defined pedagogy, along with an emphasis on reasoning, modeling, and communication skills. With an emphasis on the 'language of algebra', the author's foster students' ability to translate English into mathematical expressions and equations.Tussy, Alan S. is the author of 'Elementary Algebra W/PAC-Now', published 2008 under ISBN 9780495389606 and ISBN 0495389609.[read more]
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Alexander Kerss was the father of Robert Kerss, and died in Gateshead, Co Durham, England in 1831. His will was proved before the Diocesan Court of the Bishop of Durham, and the original is now held at Durham University Library.
This is the last Will and Testament of me Alexander Kerss of Gateshead in the County of Durham, Yeoman. I give devise and bequeath all those two Freehold Messuages Dwelling Houses or Tenements Bakehouse and piece or parcel of vacant Ground with the Dwelling House late erected thereon situate lying and being in a certain Street called Hillgate and on the church walk in Gateshead aforesaid and now in the Occupation of myself and others as Tenants thereof with their and every of their rights Members and Appurtenances unto my dear wife Catherine Kerss and her assigns for and during the term of her natural life subject nevertheless to Mortgage debt thereon and the Interest for the same and from and immediately after her decease I give devise and bequeath the same unto my seven Children, Robert Kerss, John Kerss, Thomas Kerss, Samuel Kerss, William Kerss, Mary Kerss, and Catharine Kerss as Tenants in Common and the Heirs of their respective Bodies and in case there shall be a failure of issue of any such Children then the share of him her or them whose issue shall so fail shall go to the others or other of them as tenants in common and the several Heirs of their respective bodies and in case there shall be a failier of issue of the bodies of all such Children but one then to such one Child and the Heirs of his or her Body and in default of such issue then to my own right Heirs for ever.
And I do hereby declare that the devises hereby made to my said Daughters Mary and Catharine should they take effect shall be for their own and separate use and benefit and exclusive of any Husband or Husbands she or they may intermarry and that the same shall not be subject or liable to the Power Control debts or engagements of any such Husband or husbands.
I give and bequeath all my household Furniture Plate Linen and China and all other my real and personal Estate and effects whatsoever which I shall die possessed of or entitled unto in reversion remainder or expectancy unto my said wife for and during the term of her natural life and from and after her decease I give and bequeath the same unto my said two daughters Mary Kerss and Catherine Kerss, share and share alike and to the survivor of them in case either should die before my said wife and I hereby charge and make chargeable all my real and personal estate with the payment of all my debts and funeral expenses and the charges of proving my will and I do hereby appoint my said sons John Kerss and Thomas Kerss and my said daughter Mary Kerss to be executors and executrix of this my last will and testament hereby revoking all other wills by me at any time made I publish and declare this to be my last will and testament. In witness whereof I have to this last sheet set my hand and seal and to the first sheet my hand this thirtieth day of September 1831.
Alex Kerss
Signed sealed published and declared by the withnamed Alexander Kerss the Testator as and for his last will and testament who in his presence and in the presence of each declared this and the preceding sheet to be and contain his last will and testament and requested us to sign our names as witnesses thereto:
John Dobson Sol Gateshead
John Lowthin his clerk
Jas Miller.
On the 27th day of August 1832 John Kerss of the Town and County of Newcastle Upon Tyne bricklayer and Thomas Kerss of Blaydon near Winlaton in the County of Durham Blacksmith and Mary Kerss of the Town and County of Newcastle upon Tyne aforesaid Spinster the sons and daughter and the executors names in the wither written Will were duly sworn faithfully to execute and perform the same as usual.
Before me Luke Ripley Surrogate.


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Field finalized for 2013 Cancun Challenge
Fort Collins, CO – Saint Louis, Wisconsin, West Virginia and Old Dominion headline the field for the 2013 Cancun Challenge.
The four schools will be joined by Bowling Green, Georgia Southern, Oral Roberts and Presbyterian in the tournament that is played over two weeks in November.
Saint Louis, Wisconsin, West Virginia and Old Dominion, placed in the Riviera Division, will each host one of the other four schools that comprise the Mayan Division before all eight travel to Playa del Carmen, Mexico for a series of games.
The Riviera Division schools will face each other from Nov. 26-27 for the title.
Wichita State won last year's tournament, beating Iowa in the championship game. The Shockers then went on to a surprising run to the Final Four.
Other winners of the tournament have included Illinois, Missouri, Kentucky and Vanderbilt.


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The Kidney: Diagnosis and Management
Neal S. Bricker, Michael A. Kirschenbaum
Wiley, Jan 1, 1984 - Medical - 540 pages
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Diseases of the Kidneys and Disorders of Body
PART TWO Clinical Evaluation of Renal Function
A Urologic Point of View
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abnormalities acid-base acute renal failure agents aldosterone anion gap artery ascites associated azotemia bladder blood pressure calcium capillary cause chloride chronic renal failure cirrhosis clearance clinical decrease diabetic diagnosis dietary disorders distal diuresis diuretics dose drugs edema effects electrolyte elevated excretion extracellular fluid factors glomerulonephritis glucose hematuria hemodialysis hepatic hormone hypercalcemia hypercalciuria hyperparathyroidism hypertension hypokalemia hyponatremia hypophosphatemia impaired increase insulin intake interstitial nephritis intravenous kidney laboratory lesion loss lupus membrane mEq/L metabolic acidosis metabolic alkalosis mg/day mg/dl ml/min necrosis nephron nephropathy nephrotic syndrome normal obstruction occur osmolality PCO2 peritoneal dialysis phosphate phosphorus plasma bicarbonate concentration plasma volume potassium pregnancy presence primary protein proteinuria reabsorption red blood cells reduced renal biopsy renal disease renal function respiratory result secondary serum creatinine level severe sodium solute symptoms Table therapy treatment tubular tubules ultrasound urea uremia uric acid urinary tract infection urine usually vitamin