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Recently, an Egyptian atheist, wanted to share information with me regarding a link to a site for Egyptian atheists. This surprised me in light of the recent imprisonment of Alber Saber, in part, for expressing atheist views.
During that conversation, I asked, "Are you OK to be openly atheist there?"
He replied, "No, not really. I am very careful with what I say most of the time…I do get death threats sometimes, but kind of used to it… and obviously my parents don't know about it."
Because he is an atheist living in a country where it is unsafe to express his ideas, I volunteered to lend him my voice at this blog and on TAE. I told him to say what he wants to say, and I will make it public, because I live in a country where expression is, obviously, more tolerated. I encourage other atheists in free nations to give voices to our counterparts in gagged situations around the globe. If we can use our freedom of expression to provide a platform to those who are denied it, then it's well used.
What follows is the message I was given to share publicly. I have corrected a few minor typos, but otherwise, this is unedited:
Egypt from the eyes of an Egyptian Atheist
This is me, writing about Egypt from the first day of January 25th 2011 Revolution till the presidential elections. Me, is an Egyptian ex-Muslim currently an atheist and had been so since I was 17. I am now 31 years old. [Read more…]

subset: commoncrawl


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The baby-boomers have had it good, the argument goes.
Not only have they ridden the wave of rising house prices but the stock market has served them well too, with the powerful rally in stock markets in the final two decades of the 20th Century now looking like something of an historical anomaly.
Even with the turbulence of the past five years, some of these funds have made small fortunes for those who were shrewd enough - and lucky enough - to have picked them. A well timed investment for many has meant that their retirement is looking sweet.
Of course, many funds fail to deliver anything like the returns mentioned below. Independent financial advisers and fund analysts attempt to work out tomorrow's winners, but it's far from an exact science.
We examine five funds that could have secured your financial future if you had been savvy enough to invest at the right time - and what experts say about them today.
Return: Turned £10,000 into £219,250.
One of the most successful commodities funds of all time, the BlackRock Gold & General fund invests in mining companies and shares involved in the procurement and production of gold.
It has been helped by an incredible rally in the price of gold. Gordon Brown, of course, famously sold 400 tonnes of Britain's gold reserves in 1999 when he was Chancellor for between $256 and $296 an ounce.
It then soared, eventually hitting a high of $1,895 in 2011. Gold has been in demand because it is regarded as holding its value when inflation takes off. Central banks have been buying it and demand has been high with consumers in India. Today it is around $1,650.
But the BlackRock fund has not had a smooth run of late. Although the value of physical gold rose for the 12th consecutive year in 2012, gold-related shares, such as miners, did not do so well.
Manager Evy Hambro said he expected that to change this year. "The investment case for gold looks robust, with recent action by governments indicating that real interest rates are likely to remain negative in 2013, and the risk of inflation has increased. In addition, the behaviour of central banks suggests gold purchases look set to continue as diversification of currency exposure remains a key focus," he said.
Ben Yearsley of stock brokers Charles Stanley said that even after those astronomical returns, he tipped the BlackRock fund as a "buy".
"The gold price over the last decade has risen dramatically, which has clearly fuelled gold miners profits as they normally have a fixed cost of getting the metal out of the ground, therefore an increase in the gold price goes straight to the bottom line," he said. "However gold shares haven't kept pace with the gold price in recent years hence shorter term lacklustre performance, at some point this disconnect will reverse. With lots of governments struggling under the weight of debt, nervous investors still like the safety gold offers."
Return: Turned £10,000 into £189,300 in 15 years.
Jason Hollands of adviser BestInvest credits the success of this Far East investment trust to the fact that it is run out of Singapore – meaning it has ears on the ground.
The team is renowned for protecting investments in a falling market, with the managers shrewdly selling shares in vulnerable parts of the market. This is particularly beneficial in a volatile area such as smaller emerging market companies. But the beauty is, it also does extremely well in rising markets as well.
"Aberdeen has carved out a phenomenal franchise as a market leader in Asia equities, with a large Singapore based team," said Mr Hollands. "We rate this trust very highly and feel the closed end structure works well for investing in less liquid stocks. The performance has been phenomenal. The fund has a high exposure to Malaysia, Hong Kong and Singapore."
Return: Turned £10,000 into £130,872 in 20 years.
European stock markets beat the US and the UK stock market in 2012 – topping off a great 20-year run for this fund.
Adrian Lowcock of adviser Hargreaves Lansdown said the fund still had the right focus to make you money in the future too.
"In spite of the recent rally European shares remains cheap and there some good quality companies which pay attractive dividends," he said. "Europe will have its success stories and I believe Alexander Darwall remains a manager to back to harness these. The Focus is on identifying world-beating companies with strong business models."
Return: Turned £10,000 into £1.47m in 28 years.
Anthony Bolton established himself as the stock-picker to beat in his fabulous run on this fund between 1979 to 2007. His shrewd stock selections delivered average returns of nearly 20pc.
When Mr Bolton stood down in 2007, the flagship fund was split in two. One half retained the Special Situations name, but focused on UK holdings and was taken over by Sanjeev Shah, Mr Bolton's protégé. Despite an impressive first year, when he returned 21pc, Mr Shah's performance dwindled, posting negative figures for the next 24 months, then with two years of returning less than 5pc.
Darius McDermott of Chelsea Financial Services now rates the fund as a "hold". "First run by Anthony Bolton who had an amazing near-30 year track record on the fund. Sanjeev took it on and also did well for a couple of years before hitting a prolonged bad patch due to his overweight [bigger bet] in banks. Performance over the last few months has picked up considerably," he said.
Return: Turned £10,000 into £85,730 in 15 years.
It may not have been a smooth ride, but this fund is a testament to why patience is a vital virtue when it comes to long-term investing.
"As you might expect from a single country emerging market vehicle, performance is volatile so it is not for the faint hearted. Unlike some other emerging markets, the Indian rupee is not pegged to the dollar so currency is a contributor to this volatility," said Mr Hollands.
This specialist trust does not have to mimic any index in its investing strategy and consequently can have a very high level of stock concentration around its largest holdings which include India's big conglomerates such as energy firm Reliance and the conglomerate Tata, which owns brands such as Jaguar.


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Plumbers SA plumbers in Ottery are highly experienced across many disciplines. We are able to fully manage all elements of your plumbing repair, refurbishment or installation. When you commission a job through us, we do everything we can to provide you the peace of mind that it will be completed within your budget, on-time and to your absolute satisfaction.
There are so many little things that can go wrong with plumbing and plumbing devices in our homes. Most of the time we can just ignore them without much impact, like a leaky tap or a constantly dripping toilet flush. Over time these items tend to either get worse or fail all together. When this happens, the cost to repair tends to be higher and requires either a full replacement of parts or at the very least, a larger repair job. We recommend that you address these smaller issues as they happen. With the convenience of "local to you" Ottery plumbers , with our no-call-charge assurance, think of us as your plumbing handymen.
Plumber near me
Many people believe that the only job of a plumber is to repair broken leaky pipes clean out main sewer stoppages and repaired faucets however there are many other things a master licensed plumber does. Plumbers have to learn how to install and repair sewer lines water tanks furnaces boilers water purification systems and even well systems.There are many risks involved with being a plumber it's typically not a clean job and sometimes can be hazardous like when cleaning out pot holes. Furthermore the training is comprehensive and this is why unprofessional and unlicensed plumbers should not be hired.
Why plumbers qualifications are important


text: How dangerous is a genius neurosurgeon who is incapable of having any feelings for his patients? Lee Young Oh (Jang Hyuk) is the best at what he does but because of an accident in his frontal lobe, he lacks sympathy for his patients and has erratic personalities. When a series of bizarre patient deaths occur at the hospital, police investigators converge around Young Oh. Can a rookie cop (Park So Dam) help Young Oh open up his heart and learn to love again? "Beautiful Mind" is a 2016 South Korean drama series directed by Mo Wan Il. The drama is loosely based on the classic Mary Shelley novel "Frankenstein."


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Contemplation I stood in awe at the foot of that tree – Looking down He whispered softly to me. All is not lost my child; I have set you free – For the ransom is paid, loves power you see. … Continue reading
Posted in Catholic, Comment, Discussion, Observations, Opinions, Purpose, Religion, Religious Philosophy, Seek, Theology, Truth Tagged all-powerful, asphyxia, atonement, barbaric, capital punishment, Christian, contextualise, corporal punishment, Covenant, cross, crucifixion, death, degrade, emperor constantine, eternal separation from god, excoriation, faith, father, flagrum, freedom of life, God, grace, greatness, holiness of god, human dignity, immeasurable, infinitely apart, infinitely pure, instrument of torture, it is completed, Jesus, justice, leviticus, many tailed whip, moral standpoint, New Testament, Old Covenant, old law, omnipotence, perfect, perfect love, perfectly just, physical death, punishment, purity of god, ransom, repugnant, roman empire, sacrificial system, salvation, scourge, scourging, second temple period, sin, son of man, spilling of blood, spiritual death, substitutionary, total paradox, utter and absolute perfection, wages of sin are death, why did jesus have to die, word incarnate Leave a comment


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This chapter provides information to help you troubleshoot Directory Server and Directory Proxy Server data management problems.
This chapter contains the following sections:
This section describes how to troubleshoot LDAP operation failures. It describes the possible causes of the operation failures, the information to collect to help you troubleshoot the problem, and how to analyze this information.
An operation may fail for the following reasons:
ACIs are in place that do not allow the operation
Referrals are being followed to a different server
Updates can not proceed because a database has been set to referrals on updates
Database being reimported
Unallowed online configuration
To determine if ACIs are the source of your problem, gather information about all of the ACIs from the suffix level to the entry you are trying to access. Gather this data using the ldapsearch operation as follows:
# ldapsearch -b base-suffix -D "cn=Directory Manager" -w - \ -s scope "(objectclass=*)" aci
Collect the access and errors log files that contain the operation. Be sure to enable the ACI logging level. Enable the ACI logging level for the errors log file as follows:
# dsconf set-log-prop errors level:err-acl
Enable the ACI logging level for the access log file as follows:
# dsconf set-log-prop access level:acc-internal
To view the contents of the error log, use the dsadm command as follows:
dsadm show-error-log -A duration [-L last-lines] install-path
The -A option specifies the maximum age of lines to be returned from the log. For example, to search for all entries younger than 24 hours, use -A 24h. The -L option specifies the number of lines to be returned from the log. For example, to return the last 50 lines, use -L 50. By default, 20 lines are returned.
To view the access log, use the dsadm command as follows:
dsadm show-access-log -A duration [-L last-lines] install-path
The log files themselves are located in the following directories:
instance-path/logs/errors* instance-path/logs/access*
If you are unable to troubleshoot your problem yourself, collect the error and access log files from the time during which the database was inaccessible and send them to Sun Support for analysis. By default, the log files are located in the instance-path/logs directory. To find the path to your error and access logs, use the following command:
# dsconf get-log-prop ERROR path
# dsconf get-log-prop ACCESS path
This section helps you troubleshoot when an SSL connection fails. It includes the following sections:
This chapter contains the following sections:
For information about troubleshooting SSL problems with Identity Synchronization for Windows, see Troubleshooting Problems With Identity Synchronization for Windows Over SSL
This section describes concepts to help you troubleshoot problems using SSL for Directory Server multi-master replication. Problems with SSL always appear on the supplier side. The error log will contain security related messages such as "SSL init failed." or "Certificate not accepted."
SSL connections always involve two participants:
The SSL client, which is the LDAP client sending the LDAP requests or the Directory Server sending the replication updates (the supplier).
The SSL server, which is the Directory Server accepting the LDAP requests (the consumer).
The SSL client initiates requests and the SSL server always receives the requests. During this exchange, the SSL server must provide credentials. Any SSL server needs to verify the credentials sent by the SSL client. In order to make this verification, the certificate database on the peer must contain the CA certificate of the certificate sent by the other peer.
In replication, SSL must be enabled in all replicas, even master replicas that only accept non-SSL operations. For example, a master server communicates with a hub server using SSL. The hub must listen on the SSL port. The master does not need listen on the SSL port because it is an SSL client. However, it must still define an SSL port, otherwise Directory Server can not initiate SSL certificate exchange for communication with the host server.
By default, SSL is enabled on all Directory Server instances. For a detailed explanation of how SSL works, see Secure Sockets Layer (SSL) in Sun Directory Server Enterprise Edition 7.0 Reference.
Failure of an SSL connection could be the result of one of the following:
Wrong security libraries patch family applied
Server not configured to accept SSL
SSL port not open
CA certificate not found
CA certificate not appropriate or expired
SSL client not sending certificate when required
SSL server certificate not imported
This section provides information about collecting and analyzing data to help you troubleshoot SSL problem, including problems replicating over SSL.
The Mozilla website provides NSS Security Tools that are helpful for debugging and troubleshooting SSL problems. You can obtain the source-code of the ssltap tools from http://www.mozilla.org/projects/security/pki/nss/tools.
The ssltap tool can capture the SSL communications between two systems. You must place the ssltap program between the connection from a Directory Server and an LDAP client. The program behaves like a Directory Server when it communicates with the LDAP client and behaves like the LDAP client when communicating with the Directory Server.
The certificates database resides instance-path/alias directory. Get the contents of this directory for each server involved in the problem.
For example, to see a list of the certificates that can be used as ns-slapd certificates (certificates with a u,, trust flags) use the dsadm command as follows:
dsadm list-certs instance-path
The command lists the certificates, such as defaultCert, the date from which it is valid, the date it expires, whether it is self-signed, who issued it, and to whom it is issued.
To see information about valid and trusted CA certificates (certificates with CT,, trust flags) use the dsadm command as follows:
dsadm list-certs --ca instance-path
This command provides the certificate alias, its dates of validity and expiration, whether it is built in, who issued it, and to whom it was issued. Verify that the SSL server and client certificates are generated by a certificate authorities that appear in the output of this command.
For detailed information about a particular certificate, use the dsadm command as follows:
dsadm show-cert instance-path certificate-alias
For example, the output of this command appears as follows:
server1 [/var/dsee/instances]> dsadm show-cert ds1 defaultCert Certificate: Data: Version: 3 (0x2) Serial Number: 00:85:8b:13:ef Signature Algorithm: PKCS #1 MD5 With RSA Encryption Issuer: "CN=server1,CN=Directory Server,O=example.com" Validity: Not Before: Fri Mar 23 14:10:51 2007 Not After : Sat Jun 23 14:10:51 2007 Subject: "CN=server1,CN=Directory Server,O=example.com" Subject Public Key Info: Public Key Algorithm: PKCS #1 RSA Encryption RSA Public Key: Modulus: 9a:c9:52:bd:ec:32:43:1a:39:96:90:02:f5:7e:18:45: 78:37:ca:8d:8f:c4:cc:6f:d1:7e:6c:38:d1:a1:53:41: 96:67:07:c7:c8:56:78:d1:f2:24:df:1f:eb:b2:07:5d: 6e:1f:58:fa:7a:f2:00:e4:95:d1:57:97:37:9d:22:31: 1c:b7:99:29:df:a3:8a:2a:87:e1:8b:54:ea:1f:7c:b7: 28:23:ce:be:7e:73:b3:87:f5:32:88:56:4e:58:68:f6: f6:01:2c:51:ca:07:00:40:ca:b3:9e:33:40:e8:f2:18: bc:16:d4:ac:ae:69:a7:c9:d7:g5:34:d4:87:11:2c:b1 Exponent: 65537 (0x10001) Signature Algorithm: PKCS #1 MD5 With RSA Encryption Signature: 29:76:4f:9f:ca:00:09:7b:05:ac:0f:26:6f:d1:93:aa: a8:c0:eb:a9:2a:39:e2:6e:08:0a:90:41:e5:7f:18:4a: 17:05:03:04:9b:ee:0a:dc:3c:ef:ee:aa:fc:ea:85:bf: f9:05:32:65:35:2c:e8:1f:32:9d:d6:a7:aa:68:a4:7a: e8:d9:4a:a0:a6:bc:fd:36:ba:d3:80:8a:1b:d3:81:8a: 68:1a:73:cc:36:7a:92:dc:eb:ec:af:02:6b:14:c7:77: e3:7d:95:19:e7:17:9d:d2:35:67:60:6b:9f:9b:d9:af: 01:f2:55:7f:5f:ce:23:a0:49:67:01:cd:30:38:8b:d2 Fingerprint (MD5): B8:34:27:AA:02:F6:07:FC:8F:D1:4A:AD:38:29:09 Fingerprint (SHA1): 3C:3B:BD:15:E8:1F:68:2E::E8:EJ:02:63:CD:8F:39:BE:DD:70 Certificate Trust Flags: SSL Flags: Valid CA Trusted CA User Trusted Client CA Email Flags: User Object Signing Flags: User
Confirm the validity of the certificate. Also, confirm that the issuer of the certificate is a valid and trusted certificate authority.
You can configure client authentication to be required or allowed. Verify the setting client authentication settings by using DSCC or by using the dsconf get-server-prop ssl-client-auth-mode command.
User's of migrated 5.2 instances of Directory Server can verify the client authentication settings by checking the nsSSLClientAuth property in the dse.ldif file.
Go to the Directory Servers tab in the DSCC, and select the server from the table.
Click the Security tab and then the General tab.
In the Client Authentication section, go to LDAP Settings.
If you want only the SSL server to require the certificate, select Allow Certificate Based Client Authentication.
If you want both the SSL server and the SSL client to require a certificate, select Require Certificate Based Client Authentication.
Get a list of all the dynamically loaded libraries to see which NSS/SSL and NSPR libraries are being loaded. To get the list of dynamically loaded libraries on Solaris Intel or Linux, use the following command:
# cd install-path/lib; ldd ns-slapd
To get the list of dynamically loaded libraries on Solaris SPARC, Solaris AMD64 or HPUX, use the following command:
# cd install-path/lib/64; ldd ns-slapd
The dynamically loaded libraries will be located in the following directory:
You can use the ssltap tool to check if the hand shake is working on your system. The tool works like an SSL proxy, showing the communications between the LDAP client and the Directory Server and the packages being exchanged. For example, using this tool you might see where the server asks for a certificate but the client does not send the certificate or where the client proposes a cipher suite that the server does not support.
Since the SSL port 636 is hard-coded on the client side, the ssltap tool run on the Directory Server, where it must list on port 636 for incoming client requests. The SSL port of the Directory Server needs to be changed to a number other than 636 while running the ssltap tool.
For example, run ssltap as follows:
ssltap -vhfsxl -p 636 localhost:637 > output.html
After running some simple LDAP request on the client, such as ldaplist, the tool should have captures some SSL packets. Stop the tool by pressing CTRL-C and view the output file in a browser window. The output data is color coded so that data sent by the client is marked in blue and data sent by the server is marked in red.


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Watch Movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off Movie StreamingFull Movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off Streaming In HD with duration 103 Min and broadcast on 1986-06-11 and MPAA rating is 334.
- Original Title : Ferris Bueller's Day Off
- Movie title in your country : Ferris Bueller's Day Off
- Year of movie : 1986
- Genres of movie : Comedy, Drama,
- Status of movie : Released
- Release date of movie : 1986-06-11
- Companies of movie : Paramount Pictures,
- Countries of movie : United States of America,
- Language of movie : English,
- Durationof movie : 103 Min
- Average vote of movie : 6.8
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- Actors of movie :
- Matthew Broderick ( Ferris Bueller )
- Alan Ruck ( Cameron Frye )
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- Jeffrey Jones ( Ed Rooney )
- Jennifer Grey ( Jeanie Bueller )
- Charlie Sheen ( Boy in Police Station )
- Cindy Pickett ( Katie Bueller )
- Lyman Ward ( Tom Bueller )
- Edie McClurg ( Grace )
Ferris Bueller's Day Off Synopsis:
Full Streaming Ferris Bueller's Day Off High-schooler Ferris Bueller knows everyone -- and every trick to faking an illness. So with the entire school convinced he's at death's door, Bueller grabs his girlfriend and best friend and hits the streets of Chicago for a well-deserved day off. Fed-up principal Ed Rooney is determined to catch Bueller and put a premature end to his field trip. But it's tough to outfox Ferris. Watch Movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off HD
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text:
TopBunkCamping necesitaba un nuevo diseño de logotipo y lanzó un concurso de diseño en 99designs.
Un ganador ha sido elegido entre 111 diseños de 39 diseñadores freelance.
Top Bunk Camping Consultants
Clinical Psychologist and lifelong Camp person creating a start-up consulting business to help camps become more progressive and dynamic in their service delivery. "Summer Camping" refers to kids leaving home and family to go to a campground with other kids their age. They are typically led by counselors who are several years older than them and a handful of adult Directors. They may do activities with other kids including sports, arts and crafts, and wilderness activities. The social community and the bonds that are created are key components of the experience.
Top Bunk Camping Consultants' goal is not to be "progressive" by equipping the campers with computers and smartphones. Instead, the goal is to use new ways of thinking about the world and community to help Camp Directors facilitate growth and development in their campers. Camping is an ideal setting for age-old rites of passage. The goal is to help camps enhance their program in order to provide rites of passage that are more intentional and more applicable to the world today. The goal is not to merely entertain youth, but to also provide them with extraordinary opportunities for personal development using ingredients of wilderness, community, and adventure.
Recreational Summer Camp Directors, Lay Committee members that oversee summer camp programming, Parents of potential campers, Youth groups, Wilderness therapists, Businesses looking to enhance team building, etc. Anyone who is interested in bringing groups into the outdoors for healthy transformative experiences.
I RECOMMEND that designers check out these links and/or google other residential camps to get a sense of the consumer. Here are examples...
Looking for sleek, elegant, eye-catching design that expresses my vision.
Earthy colors (Greens, Blues, Browns) may work nicely but I'm very open to other color ideas.
I like logos that have a subtle nonverbal message along with the verbal letters/words. Often a metaphor in the design that relates to the service being marketed.
Examples from brandsoftheworld.com that I liked include: Click King PC Gaming Zone, Hop Sonic Radio, Deftones, Garrison Design (The blue and white one), Promor, Phoenix Suns (The PHX version with the bird)
For those who are unfamiliar, "Top Bunk" refers to the dual-bed unit that two kids often share while away at summer camp that have a bottom and top bed. The double entendre involved refers to being the top of the field of camping consultants. This metpahor can be...but does not have to be included in the logo design.
Descubre cómo funciona un concurso de diseño u obtén más información sobre nuestros servicios de diseño de logo.


text:
The Bruins' 13-0-1 run has virtually assured them of finishing first in the Eastern Conference, so they're happy for the motivation their upcoming opponents provide.
WILMINGTON – Four weekends ago, the discussion was about how daunting the month of March would be, with 17 games in 31 days, six sets of games on consecutive days, travel between all the back-to-back games, and so on.
The stretch finally ends with this weekend's matinees at Washington (12:30 p.m. Saturday; NESN, WBZ-FM/98.5) and Philadelphia (12:30, Ch. 7, 98.5), and the Bruins may just be sad it's over. They're 13-0-1 since losing to the Capitals, 4-2, on March 1 at TD Garden, using that run to effectively clinch the Atlantic Division championship, run away from the Penguins in the Eastern Conference standings, and push to finish first in the NHL overall.
The schedule may not be so tight for the last two weeks of the regular season, but in the short term, the Bruins still see it as their friend. Starting on Saturday against the Caps, they've got a week's worth of games against teams that are nowhere near as safe as the B's when it comes to playoff planning.
That's how the Bruins want it.
"At this time of year, a lot of times you're kind of trying to find ways to motivate yourself," coach Claude Julien said after Friday's practice.
"There's a lot to be motivated for here – the teams we're playing against and the (standings) situation we're in right now. There's no reason for us to slack off or get lackadaisical, complacent, any of that stuff."
Perhaps most notable about the week ahead is that the Bruins' schedule is all conference-based and includes games against opponents they could meet in the opening playoff round – presuming they finish first in the East, where they took a nine-point lead over Pittsburgh into the weekend.
Washington, Detroit (Wednesday night's opponent) and Toronto (Thursday), plus Columbus, all entered the week in a virtual dead heat for two wild-card positions, all with 80 points. Philadelphia, which also visits the Garden next Saturday, led that group by a mere three points.
The B's aren't looking at the games as a playoff preview, even though one is almost bound to be exactly that.
"Right now, I don't think we're wasting too much time on that," Julien said. "I know it sounds boring, but it's about taking care of our own stuff. I think that's what's important right now."
The Bruins won't play their first playoff game until April 16, at the earliest, so whatever happens between this weekend and the April 5 home game against the Flyers may not hold much weight, anyway.
"I've played in games late in the season where you're definitely playing that team in the playoffs," Chris Kelly said, "and the game hasn't had any impact on the series."
The B's don't want to give any potential playoff opponents confidence, but they don't think they need to set a tone or make any statements.
"There's too many what-ifs," Kelly said. "We just want to make sure it's a hard-fought game, that we play well, and then see what happens."
Winger Shawn Thornton, steadfast when it comes to ignoring most everything except for his own team, takes people's word for it when told games ahead are against potential first-round foes.
"I haven't looked at it, haven't worried about it one second," Thornton said, although he is happy the games mean something to the Bruins' opponents.
"We're a team that's built that way," Thornton said. "We like challenges. It's been a fun month so far and hopefully that continues for the next couple of weeks."
Julien said he's planning to give key players some rest before the playoffs, but "to give them a rest now, probably by the time the playoffs start, that rest may not mean much. I don't want to leave it until the last minute, but probably a little closer to the end than right now." … Julien said defenseman Adam McQuaid, sidelined since Jan. 19 by a quadriceps injury, has "ramped up" his off-ice rehab. "I don't know exactly when you're going to see him on the ice," the coach said, "but right now things are going well for him."
Mike Loftus may be reached at email@example.com. On Twitter.com: @MLoftus_Ledger.


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Sunday, March 18, 2012
What Happened: Regaining Lost Weight, and Pain
It started out pretty well, adding in extra protein and legumes this week and counting calories, aiming for 1500. But by Wednesday I had stopped counting, because hey, this is not working, right? I have been steadily gaining a couple pounds a week all month. Maybe I needed a new approach. Maybe if I relaxed a little and "listened to my body" and ate like a "normal person" the scale would start moving down. And I was getting tired of doing all that measuring, logging, ticking off vegetable and protein servings all day, only to gain weight in the end. So I went and bought some Marcona almonds and some dried unsweetened coconut chunks, a huge container of strawberries, lots of other fruits and veggies and tried to wing it.
Wednesday I ate extra servings of all kinds of things, none of them junk. I had the usual breakfast of an egg, a slice of bacon, and an orange. I ate a lot of salad with dried cranberries and sliced almonds and blue cheese crumbles in it. I ate a handful of almonds here and there and added in a slice of whole wheat bread (even though I hadn't planned to add grains back in, I figured "what the heck, they never seemed to cause me any harm before in my life"), enjoyed a large low fat sugar free latte while I ran errands. And then on Thursday I was stressing about the usual life stuff and went a little crazy. I wanted to EAT for comfort, but instead I walked, I did PT, I paced around eating those darned almonds and coconut, I had a handful of the dark chocolate chips I had on hand for the applesauce muffins I make for the kids. I drank extra coffee and had another latte. I did not log my calories AT ALL. And then for dinner I had a scoop of a casserole someone else had made; from what I could discern, it was made of spaghetti pasta, chicken chunks, Parmesan cheese, peas, and some kind of creamy sauce. I knew it was fatty and salty and had refined white flour pasta so I had only one serving. But afterwards I was really feeling off. I wanted MORE even though it did not taste that awesome. I wanted sweets. I wanted... Oreos. Yeah, Oreos! I don't even like Oreos anymore...
I went to the store. I bought myself a box of Sugar Free Oreos and then I stopped in the ice cream aisle and stared for like 10 minutes at all the ice creams. I was talking to myself in my head the whole time. I finally bought a box of Sugar Free ice cream bars. I went home and ate. I had about 6 of the Oreos and then, an hour later, I had an ice cream bar. They were sugar free, but the guilt was horrible. "Here I am eating this processed crap," I thought. "But at least it is sugar free!" said the other voice. "It is a step in the right direction!" But I knew it really wasn't.
Friday I made that lovely bean soup. It really was nice. It was a great ending to a sporadic eating day. I had a bowl of oatmeal with fruit and nuts for breakfast. I had some Greek yogurt and fruit as a snack. I also had a frozen/processed chicken quesadilla, some more sugar free Oreos, and another sugar free ice cream bar. And yesterday? More of the same. No calorie counting, too much good food plus some unhealthy crap. A few more sugar free Oreos and another sugar free ice cream bar.
Last night I was looking at the rest of those ice cream bars and thinking about just eating them all to "get rid of them." However, I remembered that I am not a trash can and I got rid of them in a much more rational way... into the garbage.
Net for the week is a ridiculous 5 pound gain. I weigh 215 this morning.
Last night I couldn't sleep. I got out my laptop at 1 am and started reading old posts on my blog. I started with posts written a month or so before I'd lost 100 pounds. As I read my life at 175-180 pounds, I got choked up. A single tear slid down my face. The pain, emotionally, is almost unbearable. I have to stuff it down. I wanted to find the answer. What happened? What happened to me? I kept reading and I saw. I saw the absolute, distinct change from joy and triumph to despair and hopelessness, the beginning of the upscale climb in the month after I hit my low weight. I cried because I understand why. But I don't know how to fix it.
It is NOT as simple as eat less, move more. It just isn't.
50 comments:
Oh Lyn. Hugs to you!
- March 18, 2012 at 9:02 AM
You are not alone. I understand your despair.
Eating disorders are a hellish burden to bear.
Love and strength,
- March 18, 2012 at 9:30 AM
- Ron from NJ said...
You understand why...but don't know what to do about it. Share what you have learned with someone...anyone. Maybe they will have an idea. Maybe you just need a different viewpoint to see what you are missing. I am still trying to find the why. Maybe what you figured out could help others. I think the important thing for you RIGHT NOW is to just remember that you are at this point for a reason. Whether it is to learn something you need, or to share what you have learned....just believe there is a reason...and keep going.
We are listening.
- March 18, 2012 at 9:45 AM
- Jac said...
No, it really isn't that simple. If it were, most of us would succeed at losing AND maintaining. The "eat less, move more" myth makes us feel guilty, ashamed, and like utter failures when it doesn't work.
You may have made bad choices, but this isn't all your fault. I really believe there are a lot of flaws in conventional weight-loss "wisdom".
You'll find the right way, Lyn. And as you search, I'll keep praying for you.
- March 18, 2012 at 9:57 AM
- Karen said...
You're right! It's not as simple as eat less and exercise more.
It's as simple as giving up wheat and sugar. No one said easy, but try the Whole 30. One you cross that bridge and the cravings stop, then it's your ticket off the crazy train-IMO. Eating Primal ( think Primal Blueprint) may also work.
You are worth it. You are worth the work it takes to get healthy again. We are all worth that. Never give up
This is it. Your chance to take action before more health problems develop. Best wishes and no matter what you choose, still cheering you on. Karen P
- March 18, 2012 at 10:06 AM
I am so sorry your are feeling so badly with all of this. I commented earlier about feeling and embracing hunger, it keeps me in control. I have not eaten yet today, and am not anorexic, just in control and really very healthy, as I will eat a great meal soon with my family and probably not much the rest of the day. I find it easier to restrict my food times during the day, as I am a food addict and one little bite opens the door to non stop eating for me. So I eat well, but infrequently. I used to weigh 231 and have been at 155 for a number of years now and with restricting my meal times, I don't have to think about losing or gaining, I maintain here pretty well. The joint pain, muscle aches, insulin fog and depression my old eating habits caused went away. Yes, I am very healthy, it's like little mini fasts almost every day and I get enough calories and enough nutrition and I don't get too many calories in a week, even if I do eat too much on a particular day. My body really loves this so much more than munching all day long. Yeah, I had to put my time in to get used to the change, but now it's comfortable and I don't feel slogged down every day. I open my life up to so much more when food does not control my whole day, I have so many more hours to do other things. Our ancestors did not eat all day long and we also are not really wired that way, physically and hormonally.
But really not to kill that dead horse. The things I hear you eating...too much fruit, bean soup, oatmeal, a slice of wheat bread, high carb white flour "sugar free oreos"...you know these things are not for you right now. Some people can handle these foods without issues, you and I can't. Well, I can more with restrictive eating times...but mostly we just can't and never will be able to. Now someone with MS or cancer or whatever illness also wishes they could do things that their particular disease may not allow them to do, and with our issues it's kind of the same. You don't eat seafood as it's so bad for you, these other foods are the same, they just may cause problems more slowly with the way you are eating them, and cause your life to be miserable in the meantime.
Remember the South Beach way, if nothing else. Low carb salads, quality protien, low carb veggies. Really no fruit, no beans, no grains. You understand this, you know why.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:10 AM
- PaulaMP said...
Lord knows I feel your pain, but can you please stop snacking? I know in recent years it is always touted as the "answer" to never feel hungry, blood sugar, blah blah blah, but I'm a lot older, and trust me, back in the day three square meals a day was enough. I think snacking alone is the way to put on weight even if you are perfect at every meal. I'm not perfect, but I can say I do much better when I'm not chewing and sipping all day long. I'm not sure when it happened but nobody can go without a large drink and something to munch on. In the 50s, 60s, 70s you never saw this and almost everybody was slim. Please don't give up on the exercise, that helps me not to be hungry too plus the extra muscle helps burn up more cals even when you're sitting. I'm rooting for you Lyn, you can do this, I can do this, it just takes time. xoxo
- March 18, 2012 at 10:11 AM
PaulaMP said some of the same as I have been living these past years. Back in the 70s when I was growing up, we didn't eat after school, we sat down and had pot roast, potatoes, salad and veggies for dinner. Dessert was a treat, not an everyday thing. We played outside, we rode our bikes, we walked, did sports. I was a bad teenager and young adult and didn't eat breakfast. And what does "breakfast" mean? It means our bodies have been given a rest and we can break the fast. Bedtime and evening snacking, no matter how healthy the choice is, does not give our bodies a chance to fast and rest and repair. Lord, insulin is not your friend and we were not designed to deal with it all.day.long. But with my bad behavior as a teenager and young adult of skipping breakfast and being strong and healthy while doing it, when I did become heavier and less healthy I thought back to those times and how my body was happier. So it's working for me again. I know this isn't for everyone, but my troubles started in the late 70s, early 80s when "low fat" became the healthy thing and diets high in carbs and refined garbage emerged. I went back to the day when people were slim and had pot roast, potatoes, salad and veggies with their families for dinner. Yum!
- March 18, 2012 at 10:24 AM
Wow, some of these comments contain really poor advice. So I won't add my two cents and perhaps contribute to the confusion.
Just know I am hoping for the very best for you. I know you will find your way through this, Lyn. You have so much going for you, including the support here. Hang in there.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:29 AM
Those sugar free oreos are like crack to me! As a diabetic I hate how much fat is in these products and how expensive they are.
No more for either of us!
Things will get better.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:40 AM
- Jane said...
I've had some bad eating days recently too. :( You are right, it is not as simple as move more, eat less. At least for me, it isn't!! Hang in there!
- March 18, 2012 at 10:41 AM
- Claire said...
It's not about food- its about emotions.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:41 AM
- RhubarbLady said...
Your post this morning made me cry (but in a good way) that I'm not alone in going through hard times. Why? Because I know we are strong women and we will make it through.
I went back and reread some of the things from the time period you mentioned. You've been through traumatic things in the past and present and there are those of us out here that can both sympathize and empathize. Please feel our love and positive wishes for you and ourselves. It's hard to get out of a vicious cycle when we are there but know during this down time that you have made great strides and little baby steps forward over these years of blogging.
I look at the things you've written about your children and friends and family and I want to applaud and praise you-caring for others is often a thankless, underpaid task but one with great rewards. You are making progress for yourself and you are making a positive difference in the lives of many people both close to you and far away.
It's okay to not be perfect and the down times can't last forever. Sometimes all we can do is take one day, one hour, one minute at a time. Give yourself, your kids and the pooches a hug from all of us rooting for you but also wishing we could be there in person to be a shoulder to cry on and a hand to give you a lift up.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:44 AM
Forgot to add to my previous comment that you should give yourself credit for all you have done. You cured the binge eating, no longer eat fast food and have still kept off the majority of your weight. Things might not be perfect but there are positives.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:47 AM
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. You've accomplished amazing things, and this rough spot doesn't take away from that. I'm sure you'll hear a million pieces of advice about what food group you just have to give up or what book you just have to follow to make it all easy, but I don't think anything makes this easy. But you can succeed, you already have succeeded, and this is only temporary. Take good care of yourself.
- March 18, 2012 at 10:54 AM
Big hug Lyn!
Disclaimer: If you're sick of getting so much advice, please skip the rest. I don't want to offer anything that's not welcome.
I'm a food addict (and not just with sugar and wheat, cutting those out never "fixed" anything for me, I've binged on steamed shrimp, green vegetables, cheese, and chicken thighs in the past). Like a few others who have posted here, I found help with intermittent fasting. Granted, I never thought it would work because I had the must-eat-regularly and hunger-equals-binges mindset. But I was wrong.
Although it took a while for my body to become fully accustomed to eating this way (maybe two weeks or so), it's made everything easier. I eat 3 meals per day within an 8 hour window (around 1pm, 5pm and 9pm). My body has learned to expect food only during this time, so that I don't even *think" about food during the rest of the day. This has been the biggest tool in combatting my compulsive eating problem.
Totally against mainstream advice, of course (most nutritionists will advocate against this, but only because they don't understand what it's like to be a compulsive eater). This has done more for me than low-carb or primal eating ever has.
- March 18, 2012 at 11:05 AM
Dear Lyn,
I've been trying to sit on my hands not to write, because I know when somebody is feeling this lost, it is difficult to absorb feedback that is not an instant fix. Yet, as I've said on numerous occasions, I feel like I've really benefitted so much from reading your blog, that it is difficult to refrain from wanting to offer an observation.
I've read your blog over a period of weeks, from beginning to end. Others have mentioned that your intellectual process seems to have undergone a change, from the time you started to recent years. Perhaps privately you are just as introspective and analytical as you used to be, but you share less of that and more of the nuts and bolts of food and physical activity issues. Of course, that is perfectly fine. It is your blog, your process.
Some have suggested that you may benefit from counseling and you offered reasons why this is not something that fits into your life. This is also fine. Not everybody needs or benefits from that type of intervention. One cannot benefit from anything unless a certain level of self motivation exists. If it does not, you will be wasting your time. I am sure you are familiar with the joke about "how many psychologists it takes to change a lightbulb".
The observation I'd like to offer and you may find it of no use, but here I go anyway, is that you may wish to explore the issue of "secondary gains". Only you know what may be more motivating to you in remaining at a weight that is not your goal, than actually making it to your desired weight or physical condition.
What is judged to be "reinforcing" for a person is such an individual thing. We all think we know what that is, but in fact, may find that something ELSE is more reinforcing than the obvious. A very powerful motivator may be at work, that keeps you "stuck" in this situation.
I know that the initial motivation one has when starting to lose weight or really, any major life change, wanes occasionally, once a "comfort zone" is reached. It seems that for some of us the "goal" has less to do with a certain number on the scale than it has with the original motivation. Fear of illness, being incapacitated, the desire to attract a particular partner or to be healthy for the sake of offspring who may still be young, a particular job, travel, avoidance of medication that has particularly undesirable side effects and numerous other motivations, get us started. Once we achieve the desired effect, even if we have not YET reached our goal weight or physical condition, we may lose steam. The motivation is no longer as powerful.
I cannot help wondering if consciously or not, there may be a reason, real or perceived, that is more motivating than your desire to achieve your original goal. What may be at work here is the "secondary gains" of this merry-go-round you are creating for yourself.
I don't give food & activity advice and I do not recommend books and philosophies because ultimately different things work for different people and somebody who is determined will make it happen regardless of program and physical ability. I believe that there are few people who are as informed as you are regarding this topic. Something, however, is keeping you from applying what you know and it is my unsolicited opinion that once you figure out what that is, you will do what you need to do, including doing nothing.
Once again I wish to thank you for your blog and to say that I hope that something or someone will be as instrumental in your having an epiphany as your blog has been for me.
Best wishes,
- March 18, 2012 at 11:06 AM
eating primal, paleo, whatever you want to call it-i believe it will be something temporary for you, until you find true balance. i don't think trying to remedy someone's problems with another restrictive plan is the answer at all. try to restrict EVEN MORE for someone who is struggling with any restriction and what do you get?
- March 18, 2012 at 11:26 AM
I also want to say that I really agree with those that talk about the importance of not snacking, learning to be hungry sometimes, and etc.
I think something like 1 small, low-calorie snack a day isn't going to hurt anyone but it's more when it becomes a constant thing. As someone who has binged on so many weird things, things that most people wouldn't even consider binge-worthy, I know I personally do better with eating on somewhat of a schedule and little to no snacking.
Now if I know I'm going to go an extra long amount of time without food, a small snack is definitely a good thing, but not all the time. I wonder if Medifast got you into this habit of eating? From reading your past entries it seems that way. It's just a really tricky thing to keep up and dangerous for someone that has a tendency to overeat, in my opinion.
- March 18, 2012 at 11:54 AM
- Elaine said...
I'm praying for you, Lynn.
- March 18, 2012 at 12:02 PM
I just want to join those folks in saying that I am a long time reader, and have gained such inspiration from your never ever giving up, and always addressing what's going on. I wish I had an easy answer for you, but, like you, I struggle. I just want you to know you have a vast support system and that we are all rooting for you. Sending you all my best. You are NOT alone.
- March 18, 2012 at 12:09 PM
- Diandra said...
If it were that easy, no one would ever be overweight for a longer period of time.
Find out why you (want to) eat. Find out what you could do instead. And don't give up. We all know you can do this.
- March 18, 2012 at 12:16 PM
- beerab said...
It's hard, I know, and many of us do.
Like I was doing so well last week, got down to 196, THEN we got invited out to happy hour and that spiraled until I saw a flash of 200 on the scale one evening. Told myself there is no freaking way I'm seeing 200 again. I went right back to cutting out the carbs and even worked out that night.
It's so easy to fall back into the old habits unfortunately.
I honestly think what worked best for you was eating as clean as possible- good for you for getting rid of that stuff (I just have to fight it because my husband still eats it but really he shouldn't). Take it one day at a time- I know you can do it again!
- March 18, 2012 at 1:01 PM
- Lizette Wilson said...
I just cam across your blog and even as you are at a 'low' right now, I see your progress and you are an INSPIRATION to ME!! You have come so far!! I cringed when you mentioned "eating like a NORMAL PERSON" I SAY THAT TOO and it makes me MAD! I will NEVER be able to 'Eat like a NORMAL PERSON!!" Every day of my life is a diet and I hate that! It makes me mad that my husband can eat anything and everything and doesn't gain, and if he does gain 5 or 8 pounds WHO CARES, he is a guy!!! Ever since I hit my 40's my metabolism halted! I feel your pain, and I am sorry :( but, please know that I see a beautiful soul who has lost so much and is an inspiration to me!! Please have a good week! Lizette
- March 18, 2012 at 1:13 PM
Dear Lyn,
I understand completely the issue to which you refer re. confidential information. It is one of the things I really admire and respect about your blogging. You protect the privacy of those in your life. It is for this reason that I hypothesized that you may still be working on certain issues but not necessarily sharing them publically.
I also understand how it feels to be lost, to be diet and program weary and experience a quicksand type sinking.
If you remember, we met on 3fc. At that time, I felt similarly. At that point I had one goal and one goal only: to stop the binges. I believed that once I got control over ONE aspect of my behavior, success may breed success. I did not even consider the weight loss as primary. I was so desperate by the complete lack of control that I had no idea where to start. As I mentioned before, I've lost 80-100# on three occasions in my life and many smaller amounts, numerous times. It was always easy: I starved myself. I did it in a matter of months. It never crossed my mind that I could not do it anytime the motivation struck me. I was dumbfounded when my "trick" stopped working.
Why am I sharing all this? To tell you that I understand that despair and for me, at least, what was needed was to have control over ONE aspect of it and that was to stop the binges. It is the reason I started the calorie counting and stopped weighing myself. The scale was not the issue, since I was gaining weight anyway. What mattered was the control over the amount of food I ingested. I started reading your blog, I understood some new things about my life, my thinking, my expectations, my relationship with food and a variety of people in my life.
Eventually I changed what I was eating as well as how much. This did not happen until I was able to conquer the overeating. I've accepted, for the first time in my life that I will NOT be losing 80# in 6-10 months but I may lose one pound/wk, which in the past may have seemed almost like a waste of time.
I am not suggesting that my experience has anything to do with yours, but I am suggesting that this feeling of loss of control can be devastating and it sets up a negative spiral. I do not doubt for a second that your wish is to reach your goals.
My hypothesis regarding the possibility of secondary gains was based on my concern that there may be some unexplored "benefits" to your difficulty in following your own plans for more than a few days at a time and your frequent desire to change your course of action. By steering off course, it seemed to me, the pattern often resulted in a wt. gain.
I find that occasionally, an interested and caring person who is not invested in our choices, but simply wishes us to succeed, may become aware of patterns of behavior that we are too close and involved to observe. They may not be any more aware of our motivation, overt or covert, than we are, but can be relatively reliable and objective observers of our behavior.
As always, I wish you the ability to find what you need in order to achieve your definition of success and the peace and serenity you work so hard to achieve for yourself and your kids,
- March 18, 2012 at 1:21 PM
- Anna Down Under said...
I wanted to give you a big hug. I have no advice for you because I'm still struggling with it myself, and even if something does work for me that doesn't mean it will work for you. I really just wanted to say I feel your pain, I've been there before and it's NOT as easy as eat less, move more, NOR as simple as giving up wheat and sugar, or any of the other advise you have here. It's a daily battle and all I can do is offer my support and say that you have made a major accomplishment, even if you're facing a set-back right now. Hang in there and don't give up.
- March 18, 2012 at 1:59 PM
- KansasSunflower said...
I would like to mention something very positive about this post. I read in the beginning of your blog what one of your typical "binges" was, and I was like "WHOA"!
Do you realize you have come SO FAR from those days? When you decide to go off your diet, you actually try to make healthy choices when you "binge"? Sugar free this, fruit that, etc. I think that you've at least learned, as you've been changing your lifestyle, to make healthy choices, even when you binge.
I know you're going up on the scale and how frustrating and demotivating that can be, and how that just makes you want to give up and eat because, what does it matter, you'll just gain anyway, right? But it won't last forever!
I read the first part of your blog, where you weren't on any "specific" diet, where you just made good and healthy choices (I don't know if you counted calories, but of course you'd have to). You seemed happier that way, but I haven't read your whole blog.
You can do it! : ) You've done it before, just make up your mind that you WILL do it, and you will! : ) You're not perfect, people have bad weeks, bad months, get stuck in plateus for seemingly ever, but the weight WILL come off!
Just don't give up or give up hope! : )
- March 18, 2012 at 3:13 PM
- Overhauling-Me said...
I have followed you off and on. Off, when I haven't been taking care of myself and On when I have been. But you have been committed to this journey the whole time. Even through the ups and downs, the good and the ugly!
You are so right, it is so much more than eat less move more!
- March 18, 2012 at 3:14 PM
Here's what it takes: eat about 1200 calories a day 90% of the time. Often eat less than that. Very rarely, eat more (up to 1600).
I've been at 178 lbs for 2 years, give or take a few (highest 180, lowest 167). I average 1200 a day. It sucks. I thought I got fat because I was a compulsive overeater. That was only partly true. Some of us are super efficient at storing fat and great at holding on to weight. Theoretically, I *should* weigh about 135, based on the the amount I consume and the activity I do. My body doesn't care what the science says. If I eat more, I gain. I don't have time to exercise more than an hour a day.
My body is never going to be *normal* in terms of metabolism. My thyroid tests fine. It makes no sense. I suspect much of the *diet world* is in denial about this, and hence explains a lot about regaining weight.
Make peace with your weight--eating an amount you can tolerate forever.
Hugs and best wishes.
- March 18, 2012 at 3:34 PM
- Niecy said...
Be kind to yourself. We struggle the same way any addict does and have our ups and downs. I agree with what I read in another comment - you have come so far and you need to give yourself credit.
I do not know what you are going through personally and I'm not sure why counseling is out of the question, but what about something like Overeaters Anonymous, just for a place to let your pain and fears go?
I also do not know a lot about MediFast, except that ever since I had gastric bypass and ended up so ill (still dealing with it), I no longer believe in depriving myself. I have come a long way myself and make healthy choices 95%of the time, but I still love food; I am just beginning to love healthier food along with some of the "other" kind.
I have no idea what I am trying to say, Lyn. I just really feel for you and wish I knew how to help. I know the pain this issue brings and I hate that for you. So, just be kind to yourself. Remember how far you have come. Let others support you through this, and do not give up on yourself. It's a rough patch. It hurts, but it does not mean you have failed. You have not failed...and won't. Hugs...
- March 18, 2012 at 5:39 PM
Go back to medifast! No, its not fun but it has worked for you. Is the boring food worse than gaining back weight? It really sounds like you need a very structured plan right now until you get to a weight that allows for some ups and downs. If medifast it just not an option, I'd seek out another plan - clearly winging it is not working.
- March 18, 2012 at 6:51 PM
- Lindsey said...
I really feel for you. Like many say, it's not the food. Our outsides and behaviors are a reflection of what is going on the inside. I wonder if you have ever embraced your identity as a healthy person? I have lost over 40 pounds, and sometimes I look int he mirror and don't recognize myself. It is like I am in another person's body, and it's not real? Do you ever feel like that? You have to take on the identity as a healthy person and be able to be that person every day. I look at what you are eating now, and I want to say no no no stop. It really is simple in that if you eat "healthy" you will be healthy. In this case "healthy" is whatever you supports your weight/health goals. It's not a matter of blue cheese crumbles being healthy; they are only healthy if they support the goals you have for yourself. Healthy is not the same for everyone. I appreciate your honesty. Go back to basics. Stop trying to make up your own rules.
- March 18, 2012 at 7:18 PM
- AprilA said...
Lynn, I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time of it. :(
Does wheat trigger an acute downward spiral for you?
I'm not celiac, but it's quite noticible I get all kinds of symptoms when I re-introduce wheat after a break from it. It affects my mood (ie depression/anxiety), it causes joint and muscle pain, bloating, gas...nice!
But most frightening of all I get REALLY intense cravings for wheat containing foods for days afterwards.
After gradually weaning myself off I'm hoping I've given it up once and for all this time.
I'm very early in my weightloss journey but I'm much longer into a health recovery journey, and I'm certain wheat has been playing some pretty mean tricks on me for years. The best way to test for a problem is to avoid it like the plague for 2 weeks (unmask it) then try some and see how you feel.
I'm just putting this out there in case something in my experience resonates with you.
Stay strong.
- March 18, 2012 at 11:51 PM
- AprilA said...
Ooops, my comment has gone to moderation but I have this sneaky suspicion I *may* have called you Lynn instead of Lyn. Sorry Lyn!
- March 19, 2012 at 12:16 AM
- Diandra said...
Just read this and thought of you. Maybe there is some good advice to be found for you?
- March 19, 2012 at 12:59 AM
- Cathy said...
Lyn, you have a lot of people who are wishing you well. Through all your postings, whether following medifast or whatever, it seems like so much of your thoughts are on food. Now granted, this is a weight loss blog, so that may not represent your every day life. I am absolutely in favor of a plan, but we have to find a way to break free of all our thoughts being about "what we are going to eat next". I have no magic answers because I am working on that myself. Even though you are gaining weight, I hope you can find way through by transitioning to a diet of whole, real foods.
- March 19, 2012 at 3:57 AM
- Belle said...
This is probably not going to be a very popular comment but.... go back on Medifast! It works, it's very structured, it is NOT unhealthy. I screwed up and went off the plan back in Dec. I didn't transition, I just tried to wing it. I was going to be "on a break" and then go back to the plan in Jan. By the end of Feb I was up 17 lbs!!!! I tried towards the end of Feb to count calories etc.... didn't work, I'm now back on Medifast and feeling good and losing again. I am determined to stay on it until I reach my goal and then do a proper transition so I will know what and how much I can eat to maintain. I know this will be a lifetime challenge but we can't give up! You can do this Lynn, I know it!
- March 19, 2012 at 8:00 AM
Read the Beck Diet Solution. It isn't a diet; it's mental/emotional help. It seems like super basic stuff but it helps me re-train my brain if you will and helps keep me focused. It also helped me realize some things I didn't want to. Things like fit, healthy, thin women work really hard at it all their lives. I hate that part.
- March 19, 2012 at 8:36 AM
I hope this isn't the only place you write -- a journal or other file readable only to you may allow you to PROCESS things without necessarily sharing them? I've been using a desktop wiki, but that's because I'm a geek, and it makes it feel a little more real than starting a .doc or .txt file, or scribbling by hand.
Another site recommendation -- http://www.fatnutritionist.com/index.php/archives/ -- not because of the FAT part, but I've realized 2 things. (She's more focused on HAES than FA.)
1) Fat Acceptance (FA) is more about self-acceptance. ok, poof, you're hit with a magic wand so your size is the ideal one, and eating in a way that makes sense to you will maintain it. NOW what? Only your weight has changed with the wand -- what else do you need to do to be most fully you? What does the new mental energy go towards? What have you been putting off (if anything) until some ideal version of yourself manifests?
2) HAES - Health at Every Size -- it doesn't mean to stay at your size if that's not your own healthiest, but we can demand RESPECT at any size, especially from our doctors. Demand the doctor run the tests that s/he would do if you were at a low BMI. If the doc doesn't assume that "lose weight" will fix it, what's the next trick in his bag? (I realized that losing weight can help my knees, but so can increasing my yoga.) Also, being sure to move and eat well (in our own definitions of "well" - whether it's low-carb, moderate portions, fresh fruit, a plan, by times, whatever) - even if you're not small yet. You may not be able to afford a "new house", but there's no need to deliberately continue trashing the existing one. And if you are having an off day, so everything piles up in a corner (or you barely move for 2 weeks), you can always do better, instantly. You don't have to wait to spruce you your house only for parties, Since the goal isn't pounds, but life-improvement, there's no score, but there's no reason to I dunno.... I'm rambling.
Sorry, I've just gotten into reading a lot of her archives, and it's touched something in me, and I hope you find some measure of peace, both physical & mental.
- March 19, 2012 at 9:09 AM
Hi, Lyn. I absolutely understand your comment about wanting to eat like "a normal person". I have tried it countless times. I have an internal tantrum.. "why can't I just eat one brownie like every one else!!" It is an internal struggle and the brat in me won't accept that I can't eat like a normal person. I guess we just go one day at a time. Best of luck
- March 19, 2012 at 10:03 AM
- crazyjojo said...
Hi Lynn. I have felt that pain as well, I have been struggling with my weight for years after being a slim size 8.
I hope that you don't mind this suggestion, I have been reading "Diet Rehab". It is about eating healthy foods that raise your seretonin level and actively working on thought patterns that reduce depression. I am not pretending that I "know all the answers", this is just a suggestion.
You are a wonderful person and you will find the answer soon!
- March 19, 2012 at 10:09 AM
i am not an expert but here is a possible threory
starvation mode....eating under 1200 calories for a period of time and then switching to amounts above 1500 calories when the body is still in starvation mode...could that be the reason for the possible weight gain
if it were me i would not give up...i would stick to a 1300 to 1400 calorie intake for 3 months and see if things balance out.
- March 19, 2012 at 10:33 AM
- InWeighOverMyHead said...
It's food addiction Lyn. Hve you thought of OA? They have the meetings on-line and a newsletter for those who don't go to physical meetings.
- March 19, 2012 at 11:09 AM
- julie said...
The fake sugar makes me get all snacky. In a bizzarre, very driven kind of way. I don't know why, and it took me a few days to figure out why I kept going for cookies, plain cake (which I've NEVER been interested in), and anything sugar. I went back to regular sugar in my coffee, stopped munching.
- March 19, 2012 at 11:56 AM
- stephseef said...
the documentary 'Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead' changed my life. It's streaming on Netflix, or you can watch it for free at hulu.com too. I can't commend it to you highly enough - i have Rheumatoid Arthritis and terrible knees, and 100 lbs to lose -- I've been following the same fast in this movie since Feb 1 and have lost 36 pounds and am taking my life back with total veggie and fruit juicing - no chemicals, no plan, no fake food. I have never felt as clear headed in my life... and the sense of accomplishment each night when I go to bed - it's astonishing. I wish you the same peace and HOPE that I have found. Press on, Lyn. You can do it.
- March 19, 2012 at 12:10 PM
- Lyn said...
I've been to an OA meeting a couple times and I do sometimes show up at the online ones. They can be helpful.
thanks, I will check out the movie.
- March 19, 2012 at 1:14 PM
- Barb said...
Dear Lyn,
Hugs! I feel your pain. I've lurked here for so long, but had to write because you and I have followed a very similar (almost spookily so!) path.
2010 was a great year for me weight-loss wise, and I remember thinking "this is so easy!" I was following South Beach, and had no cravings - very little appetite - and the weight was just falling off. As I neared the 100 lb mark last summer it slowed WAY down, and after a few months of that I was getting discouraged. Which led to a little cheating, nothing major but a few pounds crept back on.
One day last fall I remember being in the store, walking past the bakery. For over a year and a half I hadn't even LOOKED at the doughnuts and cakes, there was a part of me that just said "move along, you can't have that". Well that one day, all of a sudden this little voice said "wait a minute, of course you CAN have that if you want it! Just a little bit..." and that started it. I gained almost 40 lb back and now have one pair of size 16 jeans that are too tight but wearable, and one other pair that can only be zipped if I lay on the bed. These are the jeans that were nearly falling off me last fall. I had to break down and buy 2 pairs of size 18 pants to wear to work - I think they are ugly and I hate them.
I've tried to control my eating several times since January and kept failing.
But then last week I went back on just protein and veggies to get rid of the cravings, and for some reason this time it seems to be sticking, and I certainly feel a lot better. I feel like maybe I'm back on track - it's almost like that switch has been flipped back again or something.
I started Weight Watchers a few days ago, even though I'm still following the same general principles that worked for me on SB. So far I am finding that the combination of tracking my food yet not having to count veggies or fruit is helping me eat a lot more veggies (I still limit myself to 2 or 3 small servings of fruit a day) and eating LOTS of veggies has always been the key for me. AND having some "splurge" points so that even when I do want to indulge I'll still be on plan, will hopefully head off that "oh well I've blown it today, I might as well eat that entire cheesecake" mindset.
I am feeling hopeful again - and I hope you find your path again soon too! I think you will. You have a lot of people praying for you!
- March 19, 2012 at 7:20 PM
This made me so sad. I wish you the best.
It's not about the food. You have so many people offering you advice about the food, but it's not about the food! The food is the symptom, not the cause. Figure out the cause. Treat the cause.
- March 19, 2012 at 10:12 PM
We all know that to succeed at weight loss, you have to find what works for you. And no one telling you what to do is going to make any difference. Medifast clearly worked for you before, but my impression is that it has conditioned you to constantly be eating and always be thinking of food. Yes, it can be argued that one struggling with weight loss is going to always think of food. Maybe what could help is trying to eat by times of the day...and not every hour or hour and a half, like on Medifast. Eat a good breakfast. Don't each lunch until 3-4 hours later. Pick a time on the clock and stick with it. If you are so hungry you feel like you will die, then your breakfast needs improvement. Maybe add more protein the next day. One of the hardest things for me is to learn it is ok to be hungry for a little bit.
As far as dealing with cravings or potential binge triggers, the only thing that works for me is thinking what purpose that food/snack/whatever serves once it is in my body. What good are those sugar free Oreos doing once you swallow them? The taste is gone. I could have had fries with lunch but I went with steamed broccoli. Why? Because sitting here now, the temporary emotional satisfaction of those fries would be long gone. And they would only be triggering me to eat other bad-for-me things. It's hard...it's all about retraining your thinking.
Good luck!
- March 21, 2012 at 1:48 PM
- Kim said...
I found your blog through another blog. I recently started one too. I know exactly how you feel. It's ironic, last night I made a post on MY blog that I honestly believe may help you out. I don't post this so others will click, this is honest, one compulsive overeater to another, read my post, even if you remove my link from your comments, take a couple of minutes and read it. I really am trying to help others, as well as myself, and I think you may get something from it. It's titled "Four Weeks Of Weight Loss... And Counting". Good luck. I'll be an avid reader of your blog from now on. LOL. I love to read stuff from others who know how I feel. =)
- March 26, 2012 at 10:04 PM


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|2006-05-29, 17:24
|Link #1
I am mowing clowns
Join Date: Dec 2005
The Music of Haruhi Suzumiya (OP/ED & OST, etc.)
Feel free to discuss any music related subjects for Suzumiya Haruhi here (OP/ED & OST, etc.). As the usual rule, NO POSTING LINKS TO MP3s OR ASKING FOR THEM. You may buy them at the usual place such as cdjapan and what not.
(x) kj1980
|2006-05-29, 19:08
|Link #2
trainee archangel
Actually it's the first time an OST makes me smile like that. I like the OP, I love the ED, but what's between them is really THE thing. Don't you think? I can't find a proper example, cause each episode so far as its own "rythm" and pace. But still, the music is always sort of "joyful". Very much like the heroin. In one word, suits perfectly the story and the characters.
(Then, I'm supa-glad to be the first to answer this thread opened by the almighty Catgirls. ^^)
|2006-05-29, 20:43
|Link #3
Join Date: Dec 2004
Age: 32
The music in the show is great! without it the show can suffer quite a bit, episode 8 was a bit too quite.. most of the time, but it picked up at the ending.
|2006-05-31, 03:56
|Link #6
illusion control
So far the BGM that stuck in my head the most is the one that plays at the very beginning of episode 2, when Kyon is talking about his beliefs about aliens/ESPers/time travellers. For some reason I can't stop hearing it at the most random moments.
I like all of Episode 2's BGMs, actually. The ska music when Kyon talks about Haruhi's oddities, the slow blues-type when Kyon discovers that his new seat is in front of Haruhi's, the incredibly overwrought violins and tango when Mikuru is introduced, the bouncy drums when Haruhi grabs Mikuru's boobs... it's just absolutely perfect for the scenes.
|2006-05-31, 04:41
|Link #7
Junior Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
The BGMs really fit the show, eventhough most of them are not really the super outstanding type. Nevertheless, I still enjoy the BGMs for their light, easy sound.
Anyway, does anyone know when the OST will be released? I tried searching around the usual places without any luck.
|2006-05-31, 05:41
|Link #8
trainee archangel
Then I really like the sos brigade room theme, reminds me of Square SNES games. ^^
|2006-06-02, 06:22
|Link #9
Join Date: Dec 2005
Here's the jacket for the upcoming release of Koi no Miracle Densetsu by Asahina Mikuru, together with God knows... and Lost my music by Suzumiya Haruhi, on sale June 21, titled Suzumiya Haruhi no Tsumeawase
Wouldn't be surprised if this also becomes a hit, just like the opening and ending songs.
Might as well upload the jacket photos of the DVD for Episode 00.
Limited edition
Standard edition
Last edited by eggplant; 2006-06-12 at 17:28.
|2006-06-05, 23:56
|Link #10
Join Date: Apr 2006
Got my op/ed CDs via cdjapan the other day - they each have a second song on them, and by my 2nd time hearing them, I've come to like them as much as the main tracks! Anyone know if english lyrics to them are online, particularly Kaze Yomi Ribbon from the OP cd?
|2006-06-12, 17:47
|Link #14
Join Date: Dec 2005
Pursuant to my post above, the CD jackets for upcoming releases have been announced.
「涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱 SOS団ラジオ支部 番外編CD Vol.1」Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu SOS Dan Radio Shibu Bangaihen CD Vol. 1=The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi SOS Brigade's Radio Branch Extras CD Vol. 1
平野綾、茅原実里、後藤邑子 by Hirano Aya, Chihara Minori, Gotou Yuuko
Release date: July 5th
01. オープニング (Opening)
02. ハルヒ的座談会 (Haruhi Teki Zadankai=Haruhi-like Table Talk)
03. ぶらり不思議探索隊スペシャル (Burari Fushigi Tankentai Special=The Non-purpose Mysterious Expedition Team Special)
04. 平野綾のおもてなし (Hirano Aya no Omotenashi=Hirano Aya's Hospitality)
05. オリジナルジングルを作ろう (Original Jingle wo Tsukurou=Let's Make an Original Jingle)
06. 後藤邑子のおもてなし (Gotou Yuuko no Omotenashi=Gotou Yuuko's Hospitality)
07. 涼宮ハルヒの退屈しのぎスペシャル (Suzumiya Haruhi no Taikutsu Shinogi Special=The Suzumiya Haruhi Time Killing Special)
08. 茅原実里のおもてなし (Chihara Minori no Omotenashi=Chihara Minori's Hospitality)
09. 朝比奈みくるの大予言 (Asahina Mikuru no Daiyogen=Asahina Mikuru's Grand Prophecy)
10. エンディング (Ending)
「涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱 キャラクターソング Vol.1 涼宮ハルヒ」Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu Character Song Vol. 1 Suzumiya Haruhi
涼宮ハルヒ(平野綾) by Suzumiya Haruhi (Hirano Aya)
Release date: July 5
01. パラレル Days (Parallel Days)
02. SOS ならだいじょーぶ (SOS Nara Daijyoubu=If it's the SOS, Things Will be Okay)
03. ハレ晴レユカイ (Hare Hare Yukai=Shiny and Pleasant)
04. パラレル Days (off vocal=karaoke)
05. SOS ならだいじょーぶ(off vocal=karaoke)
06. ハレ晴レユカイ(off vocal=karaoke)
「涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱 キャラクターソング Vol.2 長門有希」Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu Character Song Vol. 2 Nagato Yuki
長門有希(茅原実里)by Nagato Yuki (Chihara Minori)
Release date: July 5
01. 雪、無音、窓辺にて。 (Yuki, Muon, Madobe nite.=Snow, Silence, by the Window.)
03. ハレ晴レユカイ (Hare Hare Yukai)
04. 雪、無音、窓辺にて。(off vocal=karaoke)
05. SELECT?(off vocal=karaoke)
07. ハレ晴レユカイ(off vocal=karaoke)
「涼宮ハルヒの憂鬱 キャラクターソング Vol.3 朝比奈みくる」Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu Character Song Vol. 3 Asahina Mikuru
朝比奈みくる(後藤邑子)by Asahina Mikuru (Gotou Yuuko)
Release date: July 5
01. 見つけて Happy Life (Mitsukete Happy Life=Find a Happy Life)
02. 時のパズル (Toki no Puzzle=Puzzle of Time)
03. ハレ晴レユカイ (Hare Hare Yukai)
04. 見つけて Happy Life (off vocal=karaoke)
05. 時のパズル(off vocal=karaoke)
06. ハレ晴レユカイ(off vocal=karaoke)
|Thread Tools


text:
Naomi Watts lands Palm Springs Film Festival honour
NAOMI WATTS is set to be honoured with a top award at the 2013 Palm Springs International Film Festival in California.
The King Kong star, who has received critical acclaim for her role in new disaster movie The Impossible, based on 2004's Indian Ocean tsunami, will be handed the Desert Palm Achievement Actress Award at the event in January (13) - and chairman Harold Matzner is full of praise for Watts.
He says, "We're delighted to pay tribute to Naomi Watts, one of the most gifted and versatile performers to grace the screen. The Impossible, the true story of the tsunami that stunned the world with its fury, is the vehicle for Ms. Watts to display the talent and sensitivity that cinema lovers have come to expect and appreciate from her."


text:
Sycamore claims 3 titles at invite
A two-day tournament presents a variety of challenges. Sycamore had to make weight for the first time this year at the Rus Erb Tournament, stay overnight and grind through a large bracket.
The Spartans (11-1, 3-0 Northern Illinois Big 12 East) finished third at the tournament and look poised for another late-season run at team duals.
"It was a good chance for us to see what were made of," Sycamore coach Alex Nelson said.
Defending Class 2A state champion Austin Culton, Kyle Akins and Jake Davis all claimed tournament titles. After being a state qualifier last year, Davis won't sneak up on anyone and is carrying the burden well.
"He hasn't let a lot of wrestlers take him out of his element this year," Nelson said.
Barbs rise up
There were no easy matches at the Rex Whitlach Hinsdale Central Tournament last weekend.
The Barbs finished eighth out of 25 teams and were led by Doug Johnson's second-place finish.
It was a chance for a young team to see the state's best on the mat.
The Barbs (6-1, 3-0 NI Big 12 East) had seven place winners and picked up valuable experience.
"Most of our guys' success came at the middle-school level," DeKalb coach Mike Pater said. "They've never seen anything like what we experienced last week. It was good for everyone to see the toughness and talent on display. It lets us know just how hard we've got to work in the off season in the mat room, weight room and in training if we want to get to that level."
VIEWS: Premier wrestlers carry burden in every match
Pressure is what the top pound-for-pound wrestlers in the state like to apply on their opponents.
A match with a state-title contender is a physical and mental grind.
Knowing one minuscule slip-up can end a match wears down an underdog wrestler's psyche just as much as a front head lock.
But premier athletes also carry a burden with them into every match.
Every coach I've ever interviewed admits it: Wrestlers look at the rankings and read online blogs.
Wrestling is a tight-knit community.
The same wrestlers will see each other at multiple local, state and national tournaments well after the prep season ends. Before every meet it's easy to look at most of the matchups on paper and cast a pretty easy guess as to which wrestler will win.
That makes the unbeaten streaks for four of the wrestlers in the our pound-for-pound rankings impressive.
Everyone at the Rus Erb Tournament at Glenbrook South knew Kyle Akins, Jake Davis and Austin Culton could win the tournament. They got everyone's best match.
And still claimed a tournament title.
"Those guys have a target on their back," Sycamore coach Alex Nelson said. "You've got to wrestle every match like it's a state finals match, because that's the effort your opponents will provide."
• James Nokes is a contributor to the Daily Chronicle. He can be contacted by e-mail at email@example.com.
Spotlight On...
Jake Davis, Sycamore, senior
It was a familiar beginning to tournament season for Jake Davis at the Rus Erb at Glenbrook South last week. Last year, Davis won all but one tournament he entered. The exception; the state tournament.
After being name the Erb's Most Outstanding Wrester, the Sycamore senior is on a similar path.
"Jake is flat out tough," Sycamore coach Alex Nelson said. "He's good on his feet and on his mat. He tech-falled or pinned his way through the tournament. He's got lofty goals and needs to continue to work hard, stay healthy and hungry."
What to watch for
Sycamore at Badger State Invitational on Saturday at 10 a.m. at Alliant Energy Center
A trip to Wisconsin should invigorate the Spartans after a third-place finish at Glenbrook South last week. Sycamore wrestlers won't have the same comfort level when they have in a Northern Illinois Big 12 East conference dual or tournament.
"We get to go against some teams and wrestlers that we aren't familiar with and that will help us in the long run," said Sycamore coach Alex Nelson who racked up state titles as a prep wrestler in Wisconsin. "It's a good change of pace for us to see new teams."
Pound-for-pound power rankings
1. Austin Culton (152) sr., Sycamore, 16-0
2. Jake Davis (195) sr., Sycamore, 8-0
3. Doug Johnson (138) sr., DeKalb, 13-1
4. Kyle Akins (113) jr., Sycamore, 11-0
5. Dan Goress (145) sr., Kaneland, 10-0
6. Esai Ponce (132) sr., Kaneland, 8-1
7. Zach Theis (285) sr., Kaneland, 9-1
8. Matt Macarus (152) jr., DeKalb, 14-2
9. Stephen Gust (113) sr., Kaneland, 10-1
10. Marty Malone (220) sr., Sycamore, 12-2


text: The Country Chic Cottage is all about DIY home decor on a budget! Follow me as I craft, transform, and knock off the latest trends! Full of tutorials so you can do it yourself in your home! All with a country farmhouse feel! When I am not on my blog you can find me at The Home Depot, Pottery Barn, Hobby Lobby, or the thrift store scouting my latest project!


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Scott Goldman and Neil Portnow
GRAMMY Camp-Basic Training, a GRAMMY in the Schools initiative of the GRAMMY Foundation held on Wednesday, Feb. 8, 2011 at the University of Southern California Campus at the Thornton School of Music. from left, Scott Goldman, Neil Portnow, President/CEO of The Recording Academy interviewed by media outlets, shown. Photo: Heather Wines/CBS ©2012 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.


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BRISTOL — A six-figure federal grant announced last week will enable a Bristol medical clinic to expand its services, particularly to low- and moderate-income residents in Addison County.
The Five Town Health Alliance was awarded $812,500, which will be put toward expanding services at the Mountain Health Center in BristolWorks complex. It was one of three practices in Vermont that were designated as "community health centers."


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Peanut may still be the king of nut butters, but there are plenty of nutty new challengers — most of which you can make right at home, for cheap.
You love it on sandwiches. After you get to know it better, you'll also love peanut butter in your hair, on your windshield, and in your ice cream cones.
PB&J is quick, easy, and delicious. But even the most ardent peanut-butter-and-jelly lovers can get bored by eating the same three ingredients.
Peanut butter is a staple food of many households. The rich and the poor alike find it to be filling and delicious. Eating the ri
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The theatre is most probably built on the site of an earlier Greek theater. It housed 15000 people, and as such was amongst the largest in Anatolia, almost as large as the Aspendos' one. It dates from the 2nd century AD. Instead of theatres in other Anatolian cities it was impossible to dig its cave into a hillside so it was built the way we know from theatres in the western Roman empire. Its frieze has been destroyed so systematically that religious motives (of Christians, who later used it for their services) are suspected. A wall in the orchestra was built at a time the theatre was used to house gladiatorial displays.
For any use: see my Profile. NOTE: Many of my pictures are in sub-galleries (some within another, their name is in bold print)!


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Or download our app "Guided Lessons by Education.com" on your device's app store.
Paint a Handprint Mermaid
Create a mermaid using your hands, fingers and paint! Full handprints create beautiful flowing hair, while individual fingerprint patterns create a shimmery body. This underwater painting is as colorful as it is fun!
What You Need:
- Heavy white paper for paint
- Tempera paint in various colors
- Newspaper
- Shallow trays or plates for paint
- Felt tip marker
- Sequins or glitter (optional)
What You Do:
- Choose a colour for the mermaid hair and pour it into a tray. You can use two different colors. Have your child press her entire hand into the tray and press it onto the white paper where the head will be. Go ahead and do another handprint on top of that same area to create flowing hair. Allow to dry.
- Create skin-colour paint and pour it into a tray. Fingerprint the face around and around in layers to create the face. It is OK to cover the hair. Try to create a large circle for the face.
- Using the same skin-colour paint, fingerprint the top part of her body to create two arms and shoulders. Let this dry.
- Turn the paper upside-down. Pour blue paint into a tray. Have your child dip her entire hand into the tray and, keeping their fingers tightly together, place a handprint down at the edge of the skin body.
- Time to create a tail. Press three middle fingers into the blue paint and print them twice forming a "V" shape at the end of the body. Allow to dry.
- Use individual fingerprints with green paint to dot on rows of scales on the body. And, add a row of fingerprint dots at the very top of the body to connect the skin to the fish body.
- Use two fingerprints of white paint to create eyes. When they dry, add a pinky dot of colored paint to create the colored part of the eyes.
- Use one fingerprint dot for the lips. When the paint is dry, use a felt tip pen to draw on eyelashes and to finish the mouth.
- Give your mermaid some friends! Fingerprint fish around the mermaid. Create the body of the fish using multiple fingerprints, and then when it's dry; add on scales with different colour paint.
- Bubbles can be created with a blue fingerprint, and when it's dried, add a white dot right on top.
- For jellyfish, fingerprint a circle and use the side of your little finger to create tentacles.
- Add sequins or glitter to the mermaid tail for extra flash!


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Reviewed by Keira W. (age 7)
My favorite part was when the egg landed in Blue's nest because it landed in blues nest when kids were doing a snow ball fight nearby. This book reminds me of going to visit my mom's side of the family because they live in New Jersey. I loved the illustrations in the book because the illustrator used great details and bright colors to tell the story through the pictures.
I recommend this book to kids who love to play outside or like to do outdoor activities. Kids that like funny books will love to read this story.


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SPOKANE, Wash. - Ninth-ranked UC Santa Barbara concluded action at the Gonzaga Nike Classic on Sunday afternoon with a 3-0 victory over the host Bulldogs.
With the win, UCSB remains undefeated with a 2-0-1 record on the year. Gonzaga falls to 2-2-0.
Junior Daniel Welsh was named the tournament's Defensive MVP after helping lead the Gauchos to a 2-2 draw with Oregon State on Friday and to today's shutout, UCSB's first of the season.
Senior Nic Ryan scored his second goal of the season in the 31st minute of the match to give UCSB an advantage that it would never relinquish. Junior Dom Sarle started the play when the forward stole the ball off of a Gonzaga throw-in. He played the ball wide to senior Dion Acoff, who then crossed it into the box to Ryan. Ryan fired a shot from 18-yards out into the upper right corner of the goal to put UCSB up, 1-0.
With 23 seconds remaining in the first half, Gonzaga's Parker Victor rushed down the field and shot the ball from 10-yards out, but UCSB goalie Austin Mansker made a waist-high catch to keep the Gauchos ahead at the break. It was one of two saves Mansker had to make to seal his first career shutout.
Though Ryan's goal would stand up as the game-winner, the Gauchos piled on two more in the last 10 minutes of the match.
In the 80th minute, Achille Campion was awarded a penalty kick after he was tackled in the box. The junior went low with his shot and pushed the Gauchos up, 2-0, with his second goal of the season.
Then, in the 87th minute, freshman Ema Boateng crossed a free kick from the deep right side of the field to junior Goffin Boyoko, who put the ball away on the far right post for the third UCSB goal of the day, marking an early season-high for the team.
The Gauchos led the Bulldogs in shots, 17-10 and had a 9-2 advantage in shots-on-goal. Gonzaga goalkeeper Ryan Caballero made six stops during the match.
Acoff, Campion and Boateng led the way with four shots apiece in the win.
The UCSB men will return home on Sept. 7 to host Valparaiso at 7:30 p.m. at Meredith Field at Harder Stadium. To ensure that you don't miss a minute of the 2012 campaign, purchase your season tickets now. The popular Family Plan includes five tickets for just $178. This year, the plan will also serve as a Flex Plan with either two season passes and three GKids memberships or five tickets – it's your call! GKids remains the best value in town for kids with access to every regular season game in every sport while wearing your GKids t-shirt. Call (805) 893-UCSB or click here to purchase your season tickets.


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