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They say blood is thicker than water. What do they mean by that?
Even in marriage…does it still apply?
When I told one of my friends that I would write about in-laws in my next blog, you should have seen the reaction on her face, epic! Her question to me was; what if your husband sees it?
I had not mentioned to her yet in what context my blog would be yet she assumed that I was going to be writing something very bad. But since when did the word in-law become synonymous with negativity? Is it possible for one to have a good relationship with his or her in-laws? And most importantly, why are women the ones that are mostly entangled in the in-law wars more than men? Why is it common that most people will treat their in-laws – whether daughter, brother or sister in-law as rivals? Who exactly gets to win in these competitions and what price do they actually get? What role does money play in all of this?
To convince myself to finally write about this topic that has baffled me for a while, I reasoned that despite it being a touchy topic, I would do my best to not bring my own wonderful in-laws into the picture. Even as I said this in my head, I couldn't help laughing. It's gonna be hard to talk about this subject without drawing from my own experiences. However, today I just want to talk about a sister or daughter in-law in general…but mostly in Zambia if am being specific.
I don't know about men but for most women, when we start to consider a man as a potential marriage mate, we look at the following things; our love for him, his love for us, personality, for some – relationship with God, his career, ambitions, his family background (and this mostly involves evaluating our potential in-law – rich, poor, or breadwinner of the family?), and another important factor that most women won't admit – a consideration of his salary!
Some people believe that when you love someone then it shouldn't matter how much money he has. Well, that's very true but if you are considering one for a potential marriage mate, it should matter how much money they have or how much the both of you have or will have in future because with marriage comes more responsibilities that will require you to actually spend money irrespective of how much love you have for each other. But of course, there is always the option – to choose to die together in poverty – sometimes love can be tragic too.
Because I am a woman, I tend to have a bias towards women in some of my topics but that is because I am one myself and I share first hand most of the experiences that women in general go through. With this in mind, I believe that the in-law relationship is mostly complex for women than it is for men. I could be wrong!
Let me start with the basics first.
Why are women prone so much to the in-law drama?
It is generally believed that men are the breadwinners of the family and women are the caregivers and keepers of the home. The man will provide the finances and the woman will administer those finances and at the same time take care of the family relations to ensure peace and stability in the home. This situation puts the woman in more contact with the family members than the man who is mostly out of the house trying to make a living. Although both of them have responsibilities towards keeping the family together, the fact is that the woman will have more to do with it than he ever will because within her lies the potential to either break or build a home.
In Zambia, when the parent in-laws come to visit the home of a married couple, the man will greet them without needing to get down to the floor while the woman will first need to get down to the floor before she can address either of them. It does not matter which side of the family they are coming from, this welcome ceremony applies to both sets of parents. Already, the footing between the man and woman is on different levels so guess who's at a disadvantage?
For most parents, it will matter what level the woman will bend down when greeting them and this is very important because it has to do with respect. The man of the house will chit-chat here and there and can even excuse himself to go watch a game in the bedroom while the woman goes to the kitchen to tend to the guests. Depending on the relationship – whether they are her own parents or her in-laws, she needs to approach them strategically.
God forbid she decides to serve them chicken because then she would need to go through every piece in the pot to ensure she doesn't serve the 'wrong piece' to the wrong person! How the woman will deliver her food to these people will tell them more about her upbringing and depending on the kind of in-laws she has, it will inform them whether she is a good wife to their son or not…yes, just a piece of chicken and the level of kneeling can do that! By the way, keep in mind that while all this is going on, the man is somewhere watching a Real Madrid game or cursing at Wenger or Anchelotti for the bad formation of their players.
Earlier, I talked about the things that women look out for in their marriage mates and it was for this reason – the kind of family that a man comes from…and here I mean whether they are rich, middle class, poor…if he is breadwinner or not, his ambitions and his salary, his love for you, etc will have a lot to do with how your relationship with the in-laws will be like. This is what I mean:
If the man is rich, those close to him will question your intentions toward him – are you genuine or looking to rise up the social ladder? There is nothing wrong with this of course because, who wouldn't want to protect their assets? But, it is the approach and the extent to which they will pursue this line of inquiry that will determine the kind of relationship the in-laws will have towards each other.
If the man is poor…this word somehow doesn't sit well on my tongue so let's say if the man isn't well to do, his parents might expect that he marry someone who might help him become better in life and this would mean someone with a better financial standing. However, I do suspect that it's easier for people that are 'poor' to get along with their in-laws because there are times when lack of money can make families draw closer to each other whereas too much money can cause a lot of divisions. Sometimes, it's the total opposite.
When the man is the breadwinner: A lot of families have this kind of arrangement in Zambia. For me this is the most challenging kind. When a woman comes into the life of such a man, it is natural for his family to get worried; how will things change once this woman enters their lives? If any change is seen in the man after meeting this woman, she will be held responsible; he doesn't support us as much as he used to, when you ask him for money he sends the exact amount you asked and doesn't add anything like he used to before he met her…etc.
They say that money is the root of all evil?? Most of the challenges that couples face in marriage would have a lot to do with money be they communication, infidelity, etc. It used to be so easy for me to make judgements on my own sister in-laws (the women married to my brothers) before I got married but the moment I got into a serious relationship and was ready for marriage, my eyes got opened because then I could see things from both point of views.
Someone once told me that 'your in-laws are not your friends and you should never treat them as such, especially your mother in-law. Fear your in-laws and hold them at arms-length.'
But I also remember the Reverend who married us say this in church;
"Treat your husband's family as you would treat your own. This one is not your mother in-law," she had said, pointing at my husband's mother. "She is your mother."
Having lost my own mother just a few months before my wedding day, I was excited to gain a new mother figure in my life but the truth is that I was also very confused! How exactly was I supposed to treat this woman people where telling me to fear and others telling me to treat as I would my own mother? I am afraid I still haven't found the answer to this question.
I have always struggled to understand the dynamics of the in-law relationships. I believe that the way one treats their own siblings should be how they treat their brother or sister in-laws. But is this even possible? You can be free to shout at your kid brother if he does something wrong. He will get mad at you and not talk to you for a while but eventually you will reconcile and move on as if nothing ever happened. But if you upset an in-law like that, will the ending be the same?
Blood is thicker than water.
Literally, or figuratively??
…I have heard a lot of people say this. But, does it apply in marriage? If the two became 'one in marriage', then doesn't that make them a complete part of each other's families? Who then is closer to whom and should there be such a comparison in the first place? It is like asking a man who between his wife and mother is more important. I think that anyone who asks such a question deserves a punch in the face.
The idea that women should be held responsible for a man's change in behaviour after marriage is both true and false. Why do I say this? Firstly, it should be expected that after a man marries, he should, by his own efforts strive to start behaving like a married man. Secondly, once he is married, it should be expected that his family will no longer be dealing with an opinion of one, but of two people who became one. And this takes me back to my point about money. One of the things some men fear about getting married is having to share or report their financial status to someone. When you are single, you have the freedom to spend however you want but once marriage comes into the picture, you have no choice but to learn about budgeting.
If a man used to spend 'limitlessly' or within his means before he got married, the moment this changes, the first reaction from his family would be, 'that awful stingy woman changed him.' But did anyone ever take the time to find out why things have changed? Like I said earlier, marriage comes with its own responsibilities. Whereas a man only had to deal with one family before, he would now be dealing with two. And even though this fact hurts as hell – whereas his mother's family used to be his first priority, it now becomes second. This is nature, as designed by God and not man. It is hard for any person who is single to accept this arrangement – as I did too.
Unfortunately, this is the point that most people misunderstand. Just because a man's priorities have changed after marriage does not mean he has to forsake his own family or that his family should curse the new woman in the picture for having changed their son or brother. Only a fool would forsake those that have been an integral part of most of his life, the ones that gave him/her life and the ones that gave him a family.
Would I be wrong to say that most men don't bother much about the in-law dramas that take place in the homes and the only time they ever get involved is when they have been summoned by the concerned parties to help with resolutions? Someone be dammed should they have to pick a side! It's even worse when they fail to pick a side! The poor souls.
However, women are always up in these situations trying to make the other feel their weight. Be it at funerals, weddings, gatherings in general, in the homes…women brought together under the term in-law and under the same roof are too much to handle. It is amazing how a woman who is also married will take pleasure in making another woman's life (an in-law) difficult. Is it really impossible to get along between women? Sometimes my species really amuse me. The things I have seen mostly at weddings and funerals can cause one to question the idea of marriage itself.
I think things might change a little for women if people thought about this old concept which is as effective as God intended it to be; treat others the way you would want to be treated if you were in that situation. Especially women…why all the hate towards each other? Sister in-laws (and this applies to me too, sadly)…if you are single, you will one day get married too! But if that never happens, don't take it out on others. And if you are already married, have some respect for other people's wives if you want others to respect you too. Do not abuse tradition by top-dressing it with your own ignorance. There is nothing like tradition empowering you to make the life of another woman hellish. Even in 'in-lawness' it is very possible to get along peacefully and when faced with problems, to address them maturely.
Because I am a sister in-law myself, both by own doing and through my own siblings doing, I want to strive to be the kind of relative they can be proud of…that even when problems arise, instead of treating me as an outsider, or treating them as such, I will choose to address the issues without so much as injuring my pride and respect as well as theirs. There are no scales on which love can be weighed, but families ought to love each other through thick and thin. It should never be a matter of blood or water or even oil. After all, before blood was formed, our own parents were strangers too. It takes two strangers to meet, two people that are not related to come together and unite their blood to make it thicker.


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The past week or so has been somewhat dominated by potty training. I say 'training'… My approach to this has been as much led by Arthur as anything else – hence why perhaps it has taken so long! I think it was about a year ago that we last broached the idea – let him sit on the potty from time to time, hung around naked if he felt like it (which wasn't very often). We had sort of decided that last summer was going to be when we cracked it, but he had other ideas. And if there's one bit of advice that seems to crop up again and again when it comes to potty training it's don't rush it. So we waited.
And suddenly he seems to be up for it. Which is great. But a little all consuming too… We haven't quite worked out the logistics of wearing trousers, or leaving the house. And I need to make sure I'm paying attention as things are all pretty time dependent at the moment. But, you know, we're getting there.
As well as learning to use the potty, Arthur is really enjoying creating worlds with his cars at the moment. And trucks, and nee naws, and planes. He'll start them on his road mat but their adventures often take them all over the house. We've been experimenting with road signs, too. He always wants to know what different signs mean when we're out and about, and having these little toy signs is adding another dimension to his play.
It's not just signs he's interested in – he wants to know what letters and numbers mean too. He likes the challenge of his alphabet puzzle, and loves the song that we've decided goes with it. It's going to be a while before he really understands what it's all about, but we're having lots of fun with it in the mean time.
He's been interested in another puzzle too, one we've had for ages but hasn't kept his focus until now. I like it because it isn't exactly clear how you're 'meant' to organise it – so there's plenty of opportunity for interesting chat whilst we're thinking about how its pieces might group together.
Exploring options for grouping things has been fun with the sorting pie too. Up until now we've mainly done it by colour, but now that Arthur's mastered that he's been trying it by different types of fruit instead. It was clear at first that he really didn't like putting the green bananas with the yellow ones but he's been getting the hang of it…
We've had the playdoh out this week too – just for playing, really, rather than making anything in particular. Though Arthur did fashion a rather fetching moustache!
And for more mushy creative fun there was SUSHI! One of this household's hands down favourite foods, and one we will definitely be making more of in the future.
We haven't managed to get out and about that much (potty training and WEATHER), but when we have it has mainly involved Arthur's new scooter. He's definitely getting the hang of it, but I've been very grateful for his helmet!
We've been out to Arthur's various groups too, drama and singing at Project Performers, and his gymnastics class where he has really impressed me by holding his own in a new group without me by his side. Last weekend he went to his first Rugby Cub's session too – I'm not entirely convinced about rugby as he gets older, but whilst it's just ball play I reckon we might as well make the most of it!
And today we went for a family swim – our first in ages. Arthur loved it so much I think we're going to need to make that a regular thing too. I'm still toying with the idea of lessons, but he's getting on so well in his float suit we might just keep having fun with it for now.
Finally there are of course the drums. There's a strong sense of rhythm there, that's for sure. And I've invested in some practice pads, so hopefully it's not proving too unbearable for the neighbours…

subset: commoncrawl


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In our busy lives, we always forget to take time out for our loved ones. This is because we always take them for granted, but this is not a good thing. Pampering them by giving them a bit of attention always counts.
Treat your girlfriends special and pamper them in a regular interval.
Gifts for the lovely young lady!
- You can send her a bouquet of fresh flowers which can be seasonal blooms or simply go for a bunch of colored roses. These fresh bouquets are perfect mood up lifters and they can change the day for the one who receives it. If you want, you can always attach a heartfelt message with it and this will make her day more than perfect.
- You definitely have a lot of pictures with your girlfriend. Take some of the best pictures with her and then frame them. Make a beautiful collage of five or six pictures together and surprise her by gifting it. She can out it up one her bed room wall and will love you even more for this.
- If your girlfriend is more into fashion, then you can always gift her some trendy accessories. You can buy her a fashionable neckpiece or a pair of junk earrings or a nice bracelet. She will love to have it.
- The most precious gifts than all the above is your quality time which you can spend with your special girl. Take her out for a romantic long drive or on a perfect dinner date to make her even more special.
One may think that it is difficult to find gifts for their boyfriends, but it is actually an easy job. Still, if there is a problem, then here are some suggestions which can turn out to be helpful.
Gifts for the handsome young man!
- Buy him a book if your boyfriend is a voracious reader. You can always go for the ones written by his favorite author or simply buy him a bestseller. You can also choose a book depending on his favorite genres.
- Buy him his favorite football team jersey or his favorite player's jersey. Every guy is a football freak and it is a must that they either have a favorite team or a favorite club or a favorite player. If you buy them the jersey, they are surely going to love that.
- Buy him a trendy mobile cover or a sleek leather laptop bag if your boyfriend is a technology and gadget lover.
- If he is a stylish kind of a person, then go for clothes hunting for him. You can buy a latest design kurta or a t shirt or a formal short for him and choose the colors which they like to wear and are comfortable in.
Pleasing your partner is always necessary. If you are away from them, and want to send online gifts to Pakistan, then choose gifts from online websites which are ready to deliver gifts to another country.
Read More >> Get the Basketball Uniform only on Lacrossepinnies.com


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RACHEL KIENE, LM, CPM ~ On Maternity Leave as of May 2019
In 1994, at the age of 22, Rachel was invited to attend the birth of a friend who knew she was interested in midwifery. Being present as she labored and gave birth standing in her own living room was an amazing experience that confirmed her calling to be a midwife. Tosi Marceline was the midwife at that birth, and she and her then-apprentice Amy Morgan supported her as she eagerly began to read everything she could find about birth, and to listen to women share their birth experiences. Little did know that it would take her 17 years to become a licensed midwife!
Rachel's daughter, Ruhiyyih, was born in 1998, with Tosi, Amy, and a student midwife in attendance. Giving birth at home to a 10 pound 2 ounce baby after a seven-hour labor confirmed what she already knew: women's bodies are meant for this work. Knowing that she had accomplished something that at certain moments seemed impossible (especially right before she started pushing) gave her the confidence she needed to be a mother, even at the toughest times. 'Now that she's a teenager, I need it more than ever!'
After attending the births of a few more friends, Rachel began working as a doula professionally in 2001. The knowledge and experience she gained during more than 200 hospital births was invaluable, but her conviction that home is the best place for many women to give birth never wavered. During this time Rachel continued to study pregnancy, birth, and breastfeeding, attending conferences and training sessions whenever possible. She also taught childbirth classes and became a Lactation Specialist so she could offer more support to breastfeeding mothers.
In 2007, Rachel began studying midwifery formally through National Midwifery Institute and started working with Birthstream as a student midwife under the mentorship of Licensed Midwives Tosi Marceline and Rachel Fox-Tierney. Rachel and Tosi supervised her clinical training over the course of more than 100 planned homebirths. Rachel passed the NARM (National Associated of Registered Midwives) exam in August of 2011 and graduated from NMI. In January of 2012 She was granted the credential of Certified Professional Midwife by NARM and Licensed Midwife by the California Medical Board.
Rachel continues to pursue opportunities for continuing education and attends training in neonatal resuscitation every two years. As part of an active homebirth community, she participates in Peer Review with other local midwives. Midwifery is an ongoing process of learning and we must bring open hearts, eyes, and ears to our work and remain humble.
Rachel and her husband Dave love working in their garden, cooking together, and walking their dog Nellie on the American River Parkway. When she has time off call, they often go hiking and camping in the Eastern Sierra.
'Each birth I attend reaffirms my core beliefs: that women know how to give birth; that babies know how to be born; that parents know and love their babies more than anyone else; that women have the right to give birth in the place where they feel safest, with attendants they trust; that mothers and babies need love and respect; that meeting the challenges of labor strengthens a woman and brings her closer to her partner and her baby. There is wisdom in birth that we can trust, even if we do not understand it. It is our honor as midwives to serve mothers, babies, and families as they begin their journey.'
California Midwifery License #328


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Watching for the Morning of July 16, 2017
Year A
The Sixth Sunday after Pentecost:
Proper 10 / Lectionary 15
An unstoppable harvest. An unstoppable word. A song of praise at God's bounty. And the wondrous declaration that "There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."
Grace abounds this Sunday. It abounds every Sunday. From the opening words of the confession and absolution to the final words, "Go in peace," grace abounds every Sunday. But the texts this week are rich beyond measure. "There is no condemnation," writes Paul. Through the prophet, God declares: "As the rain and the snow come down from heaven" without failing to work their work of giving life to the world, "so shall my word be." Forgiveness will work its work. God "will abundantly pardon," and you "shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace." The psalmist sings of God's bounty: "the meadows clothe themselves with flocks, the valleys deck themselves with grain, they shout and sing together for joy." "Those who live at earth's farthest bounds are awed by your signs."
And then we hear the words of Jesus promise an incomprehensible harvest. The reign of God will come. Though so much seed seems to be wasted – the birds, the weeds, the rocky soil – kindnesses abused, charities neglected, healings taken for granted – yet the harvest will be a hundredfold. Even the thinnest soil will yield many times what could ever be imagined. Grace is pouring out on the world in abundance.
We need to be reminded of this in those times when all we seem to see are the weeds of riches choking the world and evil snatching away the good. When the news seems perennially despairing, when violence and lies abound, when kindness and mercy seem scarce, when anxiety seeps in like unwanted moisture through the basement walls, making the air musty and damp, we need to be reminded that God's word does not fail. God's kingdom comes. Mercy abounds. And wherever it is sown, it will reap a wondrous harvest.
The Prayer for July 16, 2017
Gracious God,
you lavish your grace and life upon a world
where it is often trampled underfoot,
yet where your Word takes root the harvest overflows.
Let your Word take root in our lives
and bear fruit abundantly in love for you and our neighbor;
through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.
The Texts for July 16, 2017
First Reading: Isaiah 55:6-13
"You shall go out in joy, and be led back in peace." – Like the rain that waters the earth to bring forth its bounty, God's promise of forgiveness and return to the land shall not fail to achieve its purpose.
Psalmody: Psalm 65:5, 8-13
"You visit the earth and water it." – A hymn of praise to God who provides abundantly for the world.
Second Reading: Romans 8:1-11
"There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." – God creates a faithful people not through the commands of the law, but through the working of his Spirit.
Gospel: Matthew 13:1-9, 18-23
"Listen! A sower went out to sow." – Jesus provides a parable declaring that it is with the reign of God as it is with a harvest: though the seed grain is gobbled up by birds and strangled amidst weeds, the fruitful harvest comes. Only this harvest is wondrous beyond imagining!


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|2008 IFBB Houston Pro Contest Results
|Written by Millard Baker
|Saturday, 05 July 2008 19:15
ALR Industries presented the 2008 IFBB Houston Pro Bodybuilding, Fitness and Figure Championships in Stafford, Texas on July 4-5, 2008. This is the second year for the Houston Pro Show but the first year for pro men's bodybuilding. NPC Chairman and IFBB Judge Lee Thompson was the promoter with a first class venue, athletes dressing rooms, and hotel accomodations for athletes and fans. {mos_fb_discuss:2}
2008 IFBB Houston Pro Bodybuilding Contest Results
2008 IFBB Houston Pro "202 and Under" Contest Results
Live Video from the 2008 IFBB Houston Pro


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Part 13
by Kim Pritekel with Alexa Hoffman
For complete disclaimers, see part 1.
For all of you who have had to go through this.
If you'd like to tell me what a wonderful writer I am or that I royally suck, feel free at: email@example.com
I opened my eyes, feeling a weight on my chest. I looked around to see Dagny laying on me, her face buried in my neck, her breathing deep and even. We had slept like this many times, but this morning as I ran my finger through her hair, it took on an entirely new meaning for me.
She felt the same way I did.
I smiled, staring up at the ceiling, pulling her a little closer to me, her body instinctively cuddling closer to the source of warmth. I thought back to last night after we had left Gotfry's.
We had come into the apartment, and I had felt like I was coming home, looking at everything. Nothing had changed since I'd been here last, but yet so much was different.
Dagny stood in the middle of the room, and looked at me, her wet clothes still clinging to her body, her hair pushed away from her face. I could hear the rain still falling outside.
"What do we do now?" I asked, my voice quiet. I held my breath, a terrible feeling inside my stomach just waiting for her to start laughing at me, telling me this was some elaborate hoax.
God, please no.
"I don't know," she said, just as quietly.
As I looked at her I could tell she was the same person I had fallen for, the same person I wanted in my life forever, but she had changed somehow. It seemed as if she had become impossibly more mature, more wise over the past six months. I looked at her to see an old soul standing before me, her eyes deep and filled with knowledge. She walked over to me, and took me in her arms, laying her head on my shoulder. I held her close, my eyes closing as I thought of all the what ifs.
Neither of us said a word as we hugged, just reveling in the feel of things returned.
Finally the embrace ended, and Dagny stepped back, her hands slowly trailing down my arms, then the contact was broken completely. I stared at her, looking into tired eyes. She smiled, I smiled back.
"It's been a long day. Um, are you interested in going to bed?" She looked hopefully, nervous, like she was afraid I'd tell her to go to hell. I nodded, she sighed. "Okay, good. Um, well," she glanced toward the doorway to her bedroom. "You're welcome to go in there with me, if you want. I mean, if you don't want to I completely understand, but I'd like you in there." I smiled, completely charmed by this precious woman.
"No, I'll join you."
"Good. Okay, um, well, shall we?"
I pulled Dagny a little closer to me now, the morning sun streaming in through the blinds on the windows. I stared up at the ceiling, and thought of Natalie. Maybe she had something with this God stuff. I mean, apparently someone up there saw fit for my life to not be miserable.
I chuckled at the thought. Nat would be so proud.
"What are you laughing about? Are the voices talking to you again?" I looked to see green eyes peering at me from beneath tousled bangs. I grinned and nodded.
"You know it. They're telling me that I should be in charge of the world and cause mass destruction and chaos."
"Ah, I see. Sorry, there are others out there who already got the job." She pushed herself up so her head rested on her hand, and stared down at me.
"What?" I started to feel uncomfortable with the intense scrutiny. She shook her head.
"Nothing. Just looking, still not quite sure of what's happening." She smiled shyly. "You know, when I went into Gotfry's last night I had no intention of anything happening, or really even talking."
"So why did you go?" I asked softly, reaching up to play with a strand of hair that was sticking straight up in the air from sleep.
"To indulge in a passion that I hadn't in too long."
"What was that?"
"Listen to you sing." I stared at her, stunned, then suddenly felt really shy.
"Really?" She nodded and smiled.
"Really." She leaned down and gave me the softest of kisses. I looked at her like she was the savior of my life, the love I had no idea existed. I had never felt so corny in my whole life, thinking that all those sappy commercials and movies were just from the imagination of Hollywood. Who knew?
"I bet this time yesterday you didn't think you'd be doing that, did you?" I asked with a grin. She shook her head.
"Um, that would be a no."
"Are you glad?" Dagny nodded, stroking my face with the backs of her fingers.
In my life I had been ruled by different factors: my parents, greed, hunger and my passion for music and writing it. But never in any sort of relationship outside of family and Carrie, was a ruled by just a look or a touch. I found now, as I laid there with Dagny, that I'd do just about anything for her, and I had the distinct feeling that as time went on I would do anything. Why was that? I didn't understand. In all the songs I had written, not one of them was about love, or how love touches your soul and makes you want to sing, yadda, yadda. My songs were always dark and about how life can affect you. Not love. I never got why so many movies and songs were written about this unfathomable emotion for me.
But now as I looked into the face of the most beautiful woman I had ever known, I finally got it. Now I could be a sap along with the rest of the world. Go me.
"Um, Chase?"
"Can I start swimming again?"
"Can I go with you?"
"Please?" I grinned.
"I'll kick your ass in laps today."
Dagny was in my dorm, helping me pack my stuff up while Natalie sat on her bed, a grin on her face. In a rare few minutes without Dag, I had managed to fill Natalie in on the events of last Friday. Well, that is I told her Dag and I had managed to patch things up. Natalie had been a wonderful friend, and had surprised me on several occasions, but I still did not feel comfortable telling her the exact status of things.
She had been beyond thrilled, and I had thought her face would break open with the size of her grin.
I had asked her to keep her mouth shut, and she hadn't said a word, but the way she kept looking from Dagny to me and back again said it all.
When Dag would turn her back I'd glare, which only earned a bigger smile.
"So what are your plans for the summer, Natalie?" Dag asked as she started taking down my posters from the walls.
"Well, for the first time I'll be going on our annual retreat by myself." My roommate smiled proudly. "However, this time it won't be in Montana as it has been since I was twelve. I'll be heading to South Africa." She sat back on her bed, arms crossed over her chest with a brilliant smile.
"That is so interesting," Dagny said, turning to look at Nat, and sat on the edge of her bed to ask her questions about it. I had heard the entire thing several times, and continued to pack as they talked about it. My mind began to wander, and I thought of my own family. Should I tell them about Dagny and me? Was there enough to tell them, yet? What did I tell them, I had fallen in love with my old babysitter?
The thought of my parents knowing anything had not even occurred to me until last night when I had been curled up with Dag. Before there was nothing to tell. But now...
Dagny and I had discussed me staying at her place over the summer, and not even bothering to get a dorm for my class, which would start up in about a month. I had been shocked when she had broached the subject, but had happily agreed.
I could not get enough of Dagny, her touch, her mind, the sound of her voice. We had not been apart for more than an hour in the week since Gotfry's. If this was what life loving a woman could be like, count me in. Never, even in the most infant stages of Mike's and my relationship had I ever felt this way. I had never felt so connected to him. Granted, Dagny and I had been friends first, for nearly two years, and Mike and I had just started to date outright. Even so, it was different.
"Yeah, babe?"
I looked at her, a smile spreading across my face. Did she just call me babe? That is so sweet. I had found myself wanting to call her certain pet names, the word just on the tip of my brain, but not able to get it out there-
"Oh, sorry. Anyway, I've been thinking about something."
"What's that?" Dag put her container of chicken aside, and leaned toward me on the couch, her hand on my thigh, her head leaning against her other hand. God, when she looked at me like that I just melted.
"About my parents." I also put my lunch aside. "I wonder if I should tell them."
"Tell them what?"
"Well, you know, about us." I indicated both she and I. I had gone home two days ago, but had managed to come up with an excuse to come here tonight. I only wished I could stay overnight, but I had no idea what lie I could come up with to facilitate that.
"Oh." Dag leaned back, sitting up straighter. "Oh." She looked out at the room, now with my two guitars lining the wall by the fireplace, and some other things that belonged to me littering the room.
"What do you think?" I turned on the couch so I was facing her, reaching out to play with the hem of her tee shirt. She looked at me, then sighed with a nod.
"Well, obviously it's up to you, Chase, but I do think they have a right to know, you know?"
"Yeah. Kind of what I was thinking." I looked at her, and just couldn't keep the smile off my face. She smiled back. Even though I knew what the situation between us was, still, everyday there were thoughts and feelings running through my head that I didn't understand, that I didn't know what to do with. Like a boy just going through puberty and discovering the wonderful world of girls, so was I excited and overwhelmed. Nothing had really happened between us, just a kiss here and there. Neither of us were ready to take it any further, yet.
"I should tell my folks, too." I was pulled from my realm of thought by Dag's voice. She ran a hand through her hair before reaching down to take my hand in her lap. She gently ran the tips of her fingers over my fingernails and the skin of the back of my hand. Like whisper touches. I loved it when she did that. "Chase?"
"When did you know, about me. I mean, when you figured it out how you felt. You know?" I nodded.
"Yeah, I know. Well, let's see here." I stared up at the ceiling, only moments later to find Dagny in my lap, her head resting against my shoulder. I straightened my legs to give her even more room to cuddle up to me. I wrapped my arms around her and laid my chin on the top of her head as I thought. "I'd have to say pretty soon after Christmas."
"Last Christmas? As in six months ago?" Dag looked at me, surprised. I grinned and shook my head.
"Nope. Before that. The first Christmas you went home with me." Her eyes widened as she stared.
"Really? That long ago?" I nodded again. "Wow." She smiled in amazement. "I'm stunned.
"Why so surprised? I was quite taken by you, strutting around my parent's pool in that little bathing suit of yours."
"Hey!" She smacked me on the arm. "I was not strutting." I laughed.
"Well, you caught me in that moment, Dag. God, so beautiful."
"Thank you," she said quietly, then was silent for a moment. It was killing me, wondering when it had been for her. "You know, I think for me it had been coming for a while. I can't really say when. See, at first, I felt so protective of you, still seeing you as that little girl from so long ago." She began to pet my arm as she spoke, nuzzling her body in a little closer. "Then I realized somewhere along the way that you were a young adult, not a kid anymore, and then I got to know you for who you were, who you've become. Certainly not the skittish kid I knew." She chuckled softly. "Suddenly you became a close friend, someone I began to trust, then rely on." She turned her head to look at me. "Thank you, Chase."
"For what?"
"For being who you are, and what I didn't realize I needed." She reached up and kissed me on the lips, holding the kiss for just a moment, then backed away. My eyes opened and I saw her gazing at me, the softest look on her face as she looked into my eyes, at my mouth and the rest of my face. "You know when I signed up for college this definitely wasn't what I was expecting, but I'm glad I got it."
"You are?" I said, my eyes wide. She laughed.
"Yup. I am. Anyway, I guess when it really hit was just before Christmas this last year. I mean, before then I knew something was going on, I mean I was noticing you in ways that I wasn't real comfortable with. Remember all of our swimming sessions?"
"Yes," I drawled.
"Well, um, I have a confession to make," She looked down for a moment, a smile on her lips. "Um, I thought you were hot in your swim suit." Finally she looked back up at me, then burst out laughing when she did. "Close your mouth, you'll catch flies that way." My jaw snapped shut.
"You pervert." I chastised with a smile.
"I know, I know. Bad Dagny, bad Dagny. Hey, I couldn't help it, okay? It's your fault you're so damn hot!"
"Well, you know. I just can't help that fact, and as much as I'd love to take the credit for it, I'm afraid that honor belongs to my parents." We both laughed at that. "Besides, you're the beauty here, not me."
"God, we are sappy, aren't we?"
"Yup. Did you ever think that would happen to you?"
"Good. Me, either." I looked at her for a moment, then something popped into my mind that had been bothering me for a long time. "Dagny, what happened at the cabin in Colorado?" She looked at her hands for a moment and sighed. "Hey, if you don't want to talk about it,"
"No. You have every right to ask, Chase." She looked at me, then reached up to caress the side of my face. "That really hurt you, didn't it?" I looked down, but refused to answer. "When I saw you at the counseling center, I was confused and worried, but didn't dare ask you. I was afraid you'd tell me to go fuck myself, which you would have had every right to do, by the way." She smiled, and I smiled back, though it was weak. "I wondered if it was because of me, then I deemed myself not worthy enough to send you into therapy, so I discarded the entire idea." I finally looked at her.
"I had to understand." My voice was small, I felt small.
"Had to understand what, honey?" She brought her hand to under my chin and lifted my head so she could look into my eyes.
"I had to know why. What was wrong with me."
"So you did go," I nodded. "Oh, Chase." She gathered me into her arms, and I felt wetness against my neck. "I'm so sorry. God, I had never meant to hurt you like that, babe. Please know that." She cried, pulling me almost painfully close to her. "I was being selfish. I needed to figure myself out, and in doing that I forgot about you. I'm so sorry." I wrapped my arms tightly around her, trying to hold the tears inside. I had cried enough, and didn't want to anymore. I didn't need to.
"Don't cry, Dag. It's okay." I cradled her head in my hand as I let her cry, though each tear broke my heart a little. "It's okay."
"No, it's not." She pulled away, her eyes wet, face red. "Chase, I hurt you so bad. I pulled away from you at the cabin because it all hit too close to home. What I said that night at Gotfry's was true, I had wanted that kiss. Who knows," she smiled through her upset. "Maybe that's why I brought you all the way to the wilderness. We could be ourselves." She wiped her eyes with the hem of her shirt. "But I am sorry. The human heart is not made to experiment on, and yours definitely is in this category." She smiled. "God, how did I get so lucky? I don't even quite understand all this, yet."
"I know. Neither do I." I grabbed a napkin off the table from the Chinese place and wiped her tears away. "My parents raised me to believe one way, and to know one thing, fall in love, get married, procreate."
"Me, too." She laughed nervously. "God, what will my own parents say, Chase?"
"I don't know."
"This would be a fine time for them to care what I'm into." She smiled ruefully. "Yeah, right."
"Well you know mine are going to care and have something to say about it." Dagny's face sobered, and she placed her hand on my neck.
"Oh, Chase. Do you want me to be there with you when you talk to them?" I shook my head, took her hand and kissed the palm.
"I think it would go over better if I did it myself."
Dagny had decided to tell her folks about us tomorrow, and we had been trying to figure out a way to get me away from here, on the phone. I stared at the cordless that was still in my hand, my heart hurting as I did not want to be here, but with her back at school, at Gotfry's, or anywhere else.
I started at the knock on my door.
"Come in." I yelled as I tossed the phone aside. My bedroom door opened and Carla peeked around the corner with a smile.
"Hey, you. Have you been hiding in here all day?" She fully opened the door and stepped inside. I nodded.
"Yup. When did you get here?"
"Like," she glanced at her watch, "three hours ago."
"Oh." I grinned sheepishly. "Sorry." Had I been talking to Dag that long? Oops.
"So what's up?" She sat on the bed next to me. "Mom says you're gone most of the time, and when you are here, you're not. You okay?"
"Yeah. I'm fine. So mom told you all that within your first three hours home, huh? Gee, I should feel honored." I ran a hand through my hair.
"Hey, come on. They're just worried about you, Chase."
"Then why don't they just ask me about it?"
"I don't know. Why do they do half the shit they do?" I grinned.
"Isn't that the truth. How are you? Where's Todd?"
"He's in Oregon visiting his folks. We'll catch up in Vegas in a couple weeks to finish out the summer together."
"Oh, that sounds like fun." I smiled, imagining Dagny and I there, having fun in the sun. I wish we could redo the cabin, spend a romantic weekend there.
Shaking myself out of thoughts like that with Carla staring at me, I looked at her.
"So what else did the all-knowing mom and dad have to say?"
"Stop it, Chase. Don't talk about them that way."
"Is it hard being so virginal all the time?"
"You know what, fuck you, Chase." She stood from the bed. "I really don't have to listen to this." And headed for the door.
"Wait, I'm sorry." She looked at me over her shoulder. I could tell she was hurt. "That was shitty, and I'm sorry. They just piss me off. Why don't they ever snoop in your business like they do mine?" She shrugged.
"I don't know. I guess because I'm in med school." She grinned sheepishly, and I grinned back.
"Guess so. Think I could be your right-hand gal in surgery?"
"See what I can do." She winked and left. I laid back against my pillows, and stared at the phone next to me. I wanted to talk to her, felt the need to hear her voice. Then to my surprise the phone rang, and was picked up on the first ring. I knew it was my father's way of trying to keep me off of it. When my name wasn't called, I figured it was someone else, and got off the bed to be social.
I took a deep breath and headed down the stairs, the front door in my sights. My folks were in the living room just off to the right of the front door, watching some medical documentary with Carla. I grabbed the knob, just about to turn it.
"Chase? Where are you going?" Damn. Busted. I took a deep breath, getting my courage up again. Goddamn. I was almost twenty-one years old. Why the hell was I so afraid of those people? I knew why.
"Out. I'll be back in a bit." I hurried out the door so they couldn't say or ask anything else, reaching my car and quickly starting her up.
Dagny was waiting for me when I walked into the apartment. She held out an ice-cold can of Dr Pepper for me and a smile.
"Hey, you," she said, her voice low, and I felt it low.
"Hi." I took the soda, but didn't bother to open it as I walked into her arms. I inhaled, taking in her scent. I could tell that I was going through major withdrawal symptoms since we'd been separated so much over the last week or so, and it was weighing on me heavily. Whenever we were together now I felt her more, and saw more than I did the last time we were together. It was like I was learning to not take her for granted, and was trying to take as much from each encounter as I could.
"I missed you," she whispered into my neck, her voice soft yet deep, vibrating through my entire body. Her hand ran up my back then down again, and I closed my eyes, reveling in the touch of her hot skin that nearly burned me through the thin material of my shirt.
"I missed you, too," I said, my voice breaking. I heard her chuckle, and wondered why, but didn't ask.
Long moments later Dag stepped back from me and smiled at me. "I'm glad you were able to get away, Chase."
"Me, too. God I hate this." I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm not a child anymore, and resent the fact that I'm being made to feel like one. It almost feels like they already know and are trying to keep me away from you." I paced back and forth, popping open the can of soda as I did.
"Do you think that's what they'd do if you did?"
"Hell if I know." I looked at her to see she was sitting on the couch now. She patted the spot next to her.
"Come here, babe. Sit next to me." I walked over to her and plopped down, resting my head on her shoulder. "Maybe you should tell them so it's out." She grinned. "No pun intended. It might make you feel better. You think?"
"I really don't know. It worries me. I mean, they've never approved of anything I've ever done, so why would they approve of this?"
"They might surprised you."
I jumped when the phone rang.
"That's probably my folks. My mom said she'd call at this time. She's in England with my father for the summer." Dagny took a deep breath and picked it up. "Hello? Hey, mom, how are you? Oh, dad's on the line, too?" She looked at me, fear in her eyes. "Hey, dad. How are you? I'm doing great, wonderfully, in fact. Yes, school was great, and thankfully over with for another year. No, it's psychology, not sociology. Yeah, well I know it's been a while since we talked."
I put my hand on Dag's leg, rubbed her thigh as she looked down, her shoulders slumping.
"Yeah, well there was a reason I wanted to talk, yes. Well," she looked at me to gather her courage, swallowed, then proceeded to update her parents on her life. "I've met someone. Yes, thank you. I'm happy, yes. Well, you won't believe it, actually. Um," she glanced at me again. "Do you remember the year we lived here in Tucson, and I babysat the girl down the street? Yes, the Marin girl. Well, um, her name is Chase, and well, it's her." I could tell she was holding her breath, so I squeezed a bit on her leg, letting her know I was there. She listened for a short time, nodding and saying "Yes, I know" and "okay." Once in a while, then hung up.
"That's it?" I looked at her, wondering what the hell. She gently set the phone on the coffee table and sat back on the couch staring straight ahead. "Are you okay, Dag?" She nodded. "Are they okay?" Again, she nodded.
"A little too okay." She sighed.
"Well what did they say?"
"That's great, honey, be careful. You do know diseases are spread easily. We'd like to see Chase again, and how were your grades." She finally looked at me, and I could see the pain in her eyes. If only it would go this easy with my parents.
"I'm sorry, Dag." I put my hand on her arm, not sure what she wanted me to do. Did she want or need to be comforted? She fell over against me, her fingers clutching the sleeve of my shirt.
"Can I ask you a question, Chase?"
"Of course."
"Do you think I'm worth more?" I looked at her, not sure what she was asking. When I didn't say anything, she looked at me. "Am I? Do you care?"
"Oh, Dag, of course I do." I caressed her face, pushing strands of hair behind her ear.
"Why don't they care about what happens in my life? I just told them that I was with a woman, that you and I, well, we're..." her brows knit together. "What are we?"
"I don't know. I've wondered that, too." I smiled, so did she.
"Well, whatever we are, they don't care. I don't understand why I'm not good enough."
"Oh, Dag, God, you are worth so much more than that. Than them." I pulled her to me, cradling her head against my chest. "You are everything, you got that? Your parents just have messed up priorities, but they do love you, Dagny. They honestly do, they just trust you a little too much." She chuckled a little at that but said nothing. "Were you nervous to tell them?" She nodded against my neck.
"Imagine that."
"Hey, you didn't know. You're so strong, Dag. I know you're hurt right now, but what does it matter when it comes down to it? You've done your own thing your whole life. Why would you stop now?" Dagny took deep breath and gently pulled away from me, staring up into my eyes.
"Thank you, Chase." She cocked her head to the side. "This may sound stupid or corny, but sometimes I honestly wonder how I've done it all this time without you." I looked down, taken aback by the immense compliment. No one had ever said anything like that to me before. Generally I was a hindrance, not an asset.
"Thank you," I whispered. Dagny moved in and left a soft kiss on my forehead.
I thought all night about what Dagny had done, telling her parents about us. I had been impressed with the ease in which she'd had in doing so, despite her parent's apathetic attitude toward her life. It still took guts, guts which I needed to find.
It made me realize just how serious Dagny took this, and took us. We hadn't told any of our friends about it, well, other then those who saw the whole parking lot exhibition on that rainy night at Gotfry's. We had kept it quiet, feeling that we should wait.
I thought a lot about Dagny, a lot about what I was setting myself up for. Carrie hadn't really discussed her bisexuality with her parents. I wasn't sure how much they knew, but did know they were thrilled with her choice in Paul, and had embraced him much like they would a son. My parents had embraced Dagny much the same way, but that had been before. Would they make her pay the same price I innately felt I would have to pay?
Two long days went by, Dagny not able to call as she was with Levy at a weekend conference for grad students that I could not go with her to. It had been absolute torture, and I had walked around the house like a zombie. My family looked at me like I was from Mars, unable to understand what was wrong with me. They finally had stopped asking as they knew there wouldn't be a straight answer forthcoming. Part of me felt bad as I knew they just wanted to help, but I was not ready to talk about it.
Different possibilities had gone through my mind periodically. How would they react to the news that my old babysitter and I were an item? I had just mentioned my breakup with Mike in passing, but hadn't gone into any real detail. My mom would ask once in a while what had really happened, but I had just told her that his direction in life was starting to bother me, and I didn't want to go that way. She had been thrilled at that answer, and as much truth as there had been in that explanation, it was not the whole truth. I had known even then that he wasn't what I had wanted. The writing had been on the wall, I just hadn't gotten my reading glasses out yet.
My mom had managed to get my father to take a day to go exploring around the Arizona countryside to take some pictures. As usual, we were not invited. Carla and I decided to get a pool party for two started. It was hot, mid-May and already summer temps were showing themselves.
We cleaned the pool, actually having a great heart to heart in the process.
"Are you excited to marry Todd?" I asked, skimming the deep end as Carla worked on the shallow.
"Yes. I'm very excited, albeit very nervous." She smiled at me. "It's terrifying to think of spending the rest of my life with just one person. Now, not that there's a line waiting at my door, but it's just such a strange concept." She stopped for a moment, staring up into the blue sky as she thought about her own words.
"How did you know, Carla?"
"Know what, that Todd was the one?" I nodded. "Well, that's a good question. To be honest I didn't really like him at first. I thought he was a complete drag." She grinned at the memory. "He didn't like to have fun, didn't like to go out or anything. But, I decided to give him a chance, and he is so intelligent. Major turn on for me."
"Did it make up for the boredom?" I grinned evilly. She glared at me.
"Be nice. He can be fun once in a while. I've just learned to tone myself down." She stared skimming again. "So what about you? I know Mike's history, so what else is on the horizon? If I didn't know better, I'd say your moping around here these last couple weeks is you either missing someone or wishing you had a certain someone. So, out with it."
"Nice choice of words." I muttered.
"Nothing. Well, I don't know. There is someone, but I just really don't think mom and dad would approve."
"Well, let's just say this person isn't what they would have scouted out for me." I looked at my sister, so badly wanting to be able to trust in her and talk to her. I was so proud of my relationship with Dagny and was pissed off I had to hide it.
"Hello?" My head turned at the sound of a voice at the back gate. My face immediately lit up when I saw Dag hopping up to try and see over the tall stucco fence.
"Hey!" I dropped my skimmer and ran over to it to unlatch the gate and let her in.
"I had to see you," she whispered.
"I'm so glad you did," I whispered back.
"Dagny? Hey, how's it going?" Carla smiled and walked over to us. "Long time no see."
"Yeah. Glad to be home?" The three of us walked toward the back door of the house.
"Oh, yes. I really miss this hot weather at school. How on earth anyone can live where the weather is even the slightest bit inclement, I'll never understand." She smiled. "I just made some lemonade. You guys game?"
"Please," Dagny begged, wiping sweat off her forehead. My sister hurried into the house, and I turned to Dag. "I have missed you so much, Chase. This weekend nearly killed me."
"God, me, too. How did you get back so soon?" I tugged her by the arm and lead her a little ways away from the house.
"I skipped the last lecture, telling Levy I had to go to work."
"I had to see you."
I pulled her to me in a crushing hug, feeling like I hadn't seen her in months when it hadn't even been a full 48 hours. The hug parted, and I leaned in. Her lips were so soft beneath mine. It always amazed me, turned me on, and made me realize just how she had gotten me in her clutches. Dagny's mouth opened slightly, welcoming me, and I took it. My tongue slid slowly between her lips into the warmth of her mouth, and I heard the tiniest bit of a moan. So tiny I wasn't even sure it had been there.
Realizing where we were, I quickly ended the kiss, trying to get my breathing under control.
"Um, I'm glad you're here." I said, smiling shyly.
"Me, too."
Dag's appearance at the gate had been a total surprise, and it had made my heart soar almost out of my chest. She really likes me.
The stupid smile wouldn't leave my face no matter how hard I tried. When she had gone to leave I had walked her out to Freud, and we had leaned against the SUV and talked. I was to head back to school for the rest of the summer on Friday in time for my show at Gotfry's, then the summer was mine. Wow.
I jumped when my bedroom door burst open and my father stood in the hall, his blue eyes, so much like my own, electric and on fire.
"Come downstairs now," he said, and walked away. I was stunned, broadsided. What the hell had that been about? I stood from the bed and ran a nervous hand through my hair as I made my way downstairs.
"Don't do this, mom. Please." I heard Carla crying. Uh oh. My stomach began to churn, and the hair on the back of my neck standing on end.
"Shut up, Carla. Your part is finished." My mother had also been crying, and her voice was harsh and thick.
"What's going on?" I asked as I rounded the bend to the living room. Carla and my mother sat on the couch, my father paced behind them.
"I should ask you the same thing," he said.
"I thought I had raised two daughters," my mother nearly growled. I looked at her, stunned and confused. What the hell? "Instead I find out I have raised one daughter and a sick pervert. It's no wonder you want to go into psychology; you can work closely with those like you."
"What the hell are you talking about?" I took a step back, feeling like I had just been socked in the gut. Did they know? I felt tears spring to my eyes at the words my own mother just uttered, but I was not about to give her the satisfaction of knowing how deeply she had just cut me.
"Carla told us," my father said, coming out from behind the couch to stand right in front of me. "You and that Jezebel. And to think we welcomed her into our home with open arms. It's disgusting."
My eyes swept the room of my hell until I spotted Carla, looking down and away, still crying silently.
"Carla? What did you do?" What had she told them? What had she seen? And who the hell was Jezebel?
"I'm sorry, Chase. I was trying to help you."
"How!" I nearly roared, feeling my tempest of emotions surging to the surface.
"Carla saw you and that, that female kissing," my mother said, rising from the couch and coming to stand next to my father. "How could you? You took our trust and you twisted it, twisted our love for you until it is now tarnished. How could you, Chase?" She grimaced. "Even saying your name puts a horrible taste in my mouth, and I will spit the taste out. Like gangrene, your brand of poison must be cut off, eliminated." I stared at my mother, shocked at what I saw in her eyes. "You disappoint me. You make me sick and I wish I had only had one."
I wanted to vomit. How could one person bring you down so low that you felt you were looking up at the carpet fibers? I felt like everything I had been working for over the past two years had just been blown out the window, as if none of it mattered, none of it was good enough for her. For her. My mother had been the main one my entire life to try and hold me back, to try and keep me down.
I felt my anger grow and start to explode into colors behind my eyes.
"We send you to school, we clothe and feed you, give you everything your heart desires," she continued. "We trusted you to go out into the world and do us proud, make good with what you were blessed with." My mother began to tremble with emotion and rage. "Why couldn't you just do what you were supposed to? Why couldn't you just listen and be like," she stopped herself, and I managed to meet her eyes after staring down at my feet.
"Like who? Carla? Your perfect little angel?" I glared over at my sister. "And you," I took a step toward her. "What the fuck were you thinking? Are you a spy for her now?" I pointed to my mother. "Do you really want to be as pathetic as that? You want to know something, Carla? You are like her already. You are a clone, doing exactly what mommy and daddy wanted you to do all your life. How does it feel now? Is it worth it? Just yesterday you told me that you even changed yourself for Todd." I turned to my parents. "What is so special about Carla when there is no Carla?"
"Chase!" my father bellowed. "Don't you dare talk to her that way. This isn't about Carla."
I looked at him. "Go ahead, dad. Stick up for her again. You stand there, your face red, trying look the part for your wife. Carla's right, as always. She's perfect, as always. And of course it's not about her. She does no wrong. That's my job." I took a step toward him. "You're no different. You know, there was a time when we were close, dad. Remember when we'd get up early to make breakfast in bed for mom? Remember those days?" He looked down, then at me.
"It didn't have to be this way, Chase." His voice was low, nearly cracking.
"No, you're right. It doesn't, but you don't have anymore of a spine then Carla does. You have let her warp you." I pointed to my mother. "You're a jellyfish!"
He looked at me, hands balled into white-knuckled fists at his side, the veins in his neck standing on end. "How dare you, you ungrateful child."
"I'm so sorry, Chase. I never meant for this to happen," my sister cried. My head whipped in her direction.
"Then why the fuck did you open your fucking mouth!?" I turned back to my mother, on a roll now. I had a feeling that this was it, my family was breaking apart, me being the piece that would be breaking off, so what did I have to lose. "My whole life you have told me I was not worthy of the Marin name, I was not worthy to be your daughter. Never, ever was I good enough. In your eyes I was the disappointment of your life!" I took a step toward her, and my mother actually took a step back. God, that felt good to know I had control for once. "I wanted to be loved by you guys, I tried to be everything you wanted me to be. I tried to be fucking Carla! I'm not. I am Chase." I pounded my chest. "And you said you gave me everything my heart desired? That's fucking bullshit! All I ever wanted from you people was love and acceptance. But you could not do it!"
"Growing up, despite all of our disappointments in you, I loved you," my mother cried.
"I sure saw that everyday of my life," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.
"What did I do so wrong to create something like you? To raise a queer," my mother spat.
"That is the only thing you ever did right, mother. Congratulations," I said with just as much venom. "You wondered why I went into psychology. Well, let me enlighten you. I went into it to maybe be able to figure out what the hell crawled up your ass and died. I wanted to know why you are such an unbearably negative person, and hate yourself so much that you have to let it bleed over into the lives of your kids."
"Give me your keys." I stared at her, disbelief in my eyes. Without a word I headed up the stairs and burst into my room. My body was buzzing with adrenaline, but I stopped for a moment, looking around. This was the first room I'd ever known, where I had slept my first night home. The decoration was now that of a high school girl, but the feel and memory was still there, and it was still strong. I saw the journal on the bed that Dagny had given me, and I grabbed it along with my keys.
My father was sitting next to Carla now, comforting her, but my mother had not moved. I thrust them at her, my chin raised in defiance. She took them, found the house key and took it off, tossing the ring back to me.
"You are no longer welcome here. Let that," she paused, her mouth pursed in disgust, "lesbian bitch of yours take care of you, now." I stared at her, right in the eye. I wanted her to know that no matter what happened to me once I left this house, my childhood home, she would not bring me down. At least, not in her presence.
"Well," I took a deep breath, the enormity of what had just happened sinking in. "You've finally done it. You've finally gotten rid of the scourge of the Marin's. I hope you're finally happy."
I felt the smooth leather of the journal in my hand and brought it up for my mother to see.
"Do you see this? This book is filled with my thoughts and feelings from throughout my entire life. Remember those poems I used to bring home for you to read when I was a kid, the great big shiny stars on the tops from my teachers? The ones you threw away saying they would never get me anywhere," my voice dropped to a level that was scaring even me. "I kept writing, my entire life. I wrote about how you made me feel less then human. I never shared any of them with you. Or you." I looked at my father, who I knew once upon a time would have enjoyed them. "You weren't good enough to hear them. So instead that lesbian bitch listens to them. She hears me out, and accepts me totally. Oh, her and the people at the bar I've sung at every single Friday night for the last two years." My mother's mouth dropped open, shock and impossibly more disgust filling her face. "Stick that in your annual Christmas letter."
I glanced around one last time, then turned and walked out of the house.
My hands were shaking as I tried to unlock my car door, but finally I managed and threw myself inside, sitting behind the wheel with my heart beating in my throat. My god. I had no idea, I. I was at a loss for even thought. It was a relief that it was finally over with, I would no longer have to hide Dagny from them, but then again, it was over altogether. My parents had cut me loose.
I grabbed the plastic bag I kept for trash, off the glove compartment handle, and finally let go. My stomach emptied itself, throwing out all the pain and hurt with it, tears springing to my eyes with the force.
Finally finished, I tied the bag up and laid my head back against the headrest, still feeing sick, but knowing I was through. I glanced around until I saw the large garbage can sitting next to the garage. With a small smile, I hurried over to it, dumped the plastic bag in it. My last contribution to the Marin family. I got in my car, and backed out of the driveway.
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British businesses still find it difficult to fill job vacancies despite the slowdown in economic growth. According to the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development's (CIPD) annual Recruitment, Retention and Turnover Survey no fewer than 86% of organizations are experiencing recruitment difficulties with the majority placing the blame on a national skills deficit.
Recruitment difficulties to continue
Thursday, May 29, 2008
UK - Recruitment Difficulties
Posted by Editor at 9:43 AM 0 comments
Labels: Job Market, Recruitment, UK
Australia/NZ - Psychological Profiling Valued
Recruitment specialist TMS Asia-Pacific recently reminded employers in the tourism and hospitality and tourism sectors of the valuable role psychometric profiles can have in recruitment.
Psychometric Profiling Valued
Psychometric Profiling Valued
Posted by Editor at 9:25 AM 0 comments
Labels: Australia, New Zealand, Recruitment
Thursday, May 22, 2008
UK - CIPD 2009 Moves To Manchester
The CIPD will be relocating its Annual Conference and Exhibition to Manchester Central Convention Complex from 2009. The conference will also be moving from its current September slot to a new slot in November to coincide with the move to Manchester. The dates for the 2009 Annual Conference and Exhibition will be Tuesday 17 November to Thursday 19 November 2009.
CIPD to move Annual Conference and Exhibition to Manchester from 2009
CIPD to move Annual Conference and Exhibition to Manchester from 2009
Posted by Editor at 5:01 PM 0 comments
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
USA - Recession is No Obstacle for New Company and Product Launch
During a period when companies are cutting jobs by the thousands may not seem like the best time to launch a new human resources product suite, but FlexPaths, LLC, a provider of Web-based workplace flexibility solutions, has never been more optimistic. After all, IBM, Hewlett-Packard and Microsoft started their technology companies during recessions. Bad economic times may scare companies and freeze budgets, but companies still need to hold on to their best people and get the work done. That's why this women-owned dot-com isn't letting a possible recession deter their entrée into the marketplace.
Recession is No Obstacle for New Company and Product Launch
Recession is No Obstacle for New Company and Product Launch
Posted by Editor at 10:52 AM 0 comments
Labels: Flexibility, News, USA
Thursday, May 01, 2008
HR And That Elusive Strategic Role
It seems that finally senior managers - some of them, at least - are willing to give HR managers a significant role in strategic decisions. But how many human resource managers know how to fulfill that role? (Updated May 1 2008)
HR And That Elusive Strategic Role
HR And That Elusive Strategic Role
Posted by Editor at 9:27 AM 0 comments
Labels: Strategy
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Pro - Lubbock Appliance Repair
Lubbock Appliance Repair
Michael Moore
Year in Business: 2 years
We Buy Appliances, Working or Not!
2832 34th St
Monday – Friday
9am – 7pm
Phone number: 806-730-6300
URL for website: lbkappliance.com
Lubbock Appliance Repair was founded and is operated by experienced appliance repairman Michael Moore. Michael Moore grew up in the appliance repair business and has been cleaning/repairing/moving appliances since he was old enough to wipe down a fridge. He has helped run the family business, Salem Appliance Repair, since 2009 as both a technician and as a general manager growing the business year after year.
Michael is a Texas Tech graduate and has a degree in Mechanical Engineering. The knowledge gained while obtaining this degree puts him ahead of the field in terms of diagnosing electronic control boards and other electrical issues.


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The cost of electricity continues to rise and is in fact expected to double in the coming years.
Solar energy benefits are numerous and that's why the popularity of solar-powered systems for generating electricity is growing day by day.
Solar energy will not run out until the sun stops shining (in a few billion years). We cannot use it up, like we can do with fossil fuels (natural gas, oil, coal).
Solar energy benefits the environment. Even though there is some minimal pollution created in the process of solar device manufacturing, it's nothing compared to what is emitted by fossil fuels, including greenhouse gases and carcinogens. The use of fossil fuels contributes to global warming, smog and worsening air pollution.
In comparison to other renewable energy sources (eg wind), solar devices make absolutely no noise during their operation.
Solar devices have no moving parts in their design, which means that they don't require special protection. Solar installations can last for decades, with little to no maintenance required.
Solar energy benefits your pocket. Solar powered systems obviously require an initial investment. However, in the long run there will be little to no ongoing costs. All homeowners will be able to reduce their electricity bill.
Generous rebates currently assist the initial installation – these are being decreased slowly over the next few years – so get in now!
The creation of solar power is unobtrusive, particularly the solar electricity that is generated from photovoltaic panels that sit on top of the roofs of buildings.


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San Francisco Sporting Event Limousine Rentals
Celebrate in style with luxury chauffeured transportation to and from the game.
Our experienced professional chauffeurs know the fastest routes around San Francisco and the greater Bay Area to popular stadiums and event venues. We provide luxury transportation to sporting events across the Bay Area, including
- San Francisco Giants
- San Francisco 49ers
- Oakland A's
- Oakland Raiders
- Golden State Warriors
- San Jose Sharks
- San Jose Earthquakes
- Stanford
- Cal
- And many more professional and collegiate sporting events.
Choose one of our elegant Sedans, SUVs, Stretch Limousines, Super Stretch Limousines or Executive Vans to suit your needs.
Whether you and your group are heading to a game, concert or other special event, sit back and let our chauffeurs drive you to these popular venues.
- AT&T Park
- Levi's Stadium
- Oracle Arena
- Oakland Coliseum
- Avaya Stadium
- SAP Center
- Stanford Stadium
- California Memorial Stadium
We can also take you to see the many spectacular sights in San Francisco or for a day of wine tasting in beautiful Napa Valley. We have a fleet of chauffeured luxury vehicles to choose from to accommodate transportation of any small or large group of fans in town and planning on attending the game.
Sit back, party with your fellow football fans and leave the hassle of driving to the stadium and dealing with the congested San Francisco traffic to our professional drivers.
Arrive at the game in style and relaxed.
Do you really want to be stuck in traffic or try to navigate the maze of public transportation? Let's face, it riding BART, taking a bus to the VTA light rail route and then walking to the stadium will never compare with the experience of treating yourself, friends and family to luxury transportation on your way to the event of a lifetime.
The best way to pre-party for the game is with a traditional tailgate party at the stadium with one of our luxury vehicles.
Game After Parties
The party doesn't stop at the end of the game your "After Party" can continue all the way to your doorstep.
Call (650)-588-4556 today for your Sporting Event Transportation quote.
Reserve your Game Day Transportation today.


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I haven't posted a Day in the Life post in awhile and I thought I would share what my schedule has been like as a Youth Services Manager. (In other words-very busy!!) Day in the Life of a Librarian was started by Abby the Librarian (at least, that's where I saw it first!) This was my day yesterday:
9:30 AM-Drive to library (different branch from where I work) to attend YA meeting for YA staff.
10:30 AM-Meeting over. Call to check in with staff since I have sick employees and only one person at the desk. They're doing OK and I'll come in at my scheduled time at 12:30.
12:00 PM-12:45-Arrive at Library a bit early since we're short staffed. Check in with staff, organize my desk, check mail and unload all the crazy Printz boxes, check schedule for the afternoon, get book and questions for afternoon book club, get Wal-Mart card to go shopping for Halloween candy, find Halloween buckets to distribute to the departments for Wednesday's trick-or-treating parade.
12:45-1:30-Drive to Wal-Mart and buy candy for Wednesday.
1:30-1:45-Leave Wal-Mart and drive to school for our Chat & Chew bookclub. We discuss one of the state book award nominees each month.
1:45-2:30-Arrive for book club. This month's book is Belly Up by Stuart Gibbs. The four girls I had at book club loved the book and so far it's their favorite read of the all the nominees.
2:30-3:00-Drive back to work. Check in with staff, answer questions about the museum pass checkouts we just started. Grab pen and paper and head to a meeting.
3:00-3:45-Meet with other YA staff and Library Director about an upcoming Leadership Academy group that will be visiting the Library for a scavenger hunt on their education day. Brainstorm with staff to come up with questions about the Library, services we offer, materials we have to check out, and databases they can use for homework. I think we created a great scavenger hunt!
3:45-3:50-Head back to Children's department and check in with staff. My branch manager was looking for me so I head off to meet with her.
3:50-4:20-Meet with my branch manager about one of my employees serving on the committee for the literary festival. Catch up with her about programs we hosted over the weekend.
4:20-5:00-Dinner! I love Monday night dinners because I work with an awesome group Monday nights and we always have a fun time talking during break. I also got a bit of reading in.
5:00-8:45-Monday night is my night to work, so I worked at the Children's desk. I greeted patrons, straighted up the department, helped kids and parents find books, DVDs and audiobooks, filled up the display of Halloween books, filled up the display of book award books, checked on YA and helped teens find books, pull books for upcoming storytimes, and finally read through my stack of review journals.
8:45-9:00-Start closing procedures, check the stacks, do one last department pick up and shelf straighten, turn off computers and powerpoint TV, turn off lights and head home!
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Day in the Life of a Librarian
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juror's statement - damon mcintyre
I have always viewed the relationship between form and function as being two sides of the same coin. It is a matter of how "function" is defined. I would suggest that most of us understand the term to mean "useful" or relating to something that is doing a specific job or fulfilling a purpose. I am drawn to the mathematical definition of function as a relationship between input and output.
Form can simply mean "to bring together". This exhibition brings together artists working in all media in an effort to share ideas and communicate impressions of the world around us. The more we share our thoughts and dreams with each other the better we are at understanding our purpose. Art, in this sense, functions as a bridge between the material world and the world of our imaginations. The work chosen for this exhibition was influenced by the way it made me feel. The impression it had on me and the memory it evoked became the guiding light for selecting from a broad range of excellent artwork.
The process artists' employ to create their work is often a mixture of concept and craft. Input in the form of ideas and output in the form of objects, images, light and sound. As our understanding of the material world expands, our ability to manipulate our environment increases. One important function of art and creative expression is to aid in our psychological development as our technological development increases exponentially. Art and creativity allows us to push ourselves closer and closer to the truth. And the truth is… everything is interconnected.


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How healthy is your business? You may know how much profit you brought in last quarter or last year, but is that all you need to know?
Working Capital
Most business owners look to their profit and loss statement to evaluate business health, but the balance sheet is of equal importance. The balance sheet will indicate trends like whether or not working capital has increased over time. To calculate working capital, subtract current liabilities from current assets.
Assets – Liabilities = Working Capital
Working capital is the best way to evaluate the short term health of a business (i.e. that the business has enough assets to cover short term debt).
Inventory Turnover
The balance sheet will also indicate whether your business is holding too much or too little inventory. Compare inventory value (from the balance sheet) to the profit and loss statement in order to gauge inventory turnover.
Cost of Goods Sold / Average Inventory = Inventory Turnover
Low inventory turnover indicates that too much inventory is being held. An extremely high turnover rate may indicate the need to hold additional inventory.
Fixed Assets
Should you purchase fixed assets? The balance sheet will reveal whether or not assets are being used sufficiently.
Net Sales / Fixed Assets = Fixed Asset Ratio
A high ration will indicate that assets are being used efficiently. A declining ratio would indicate that a business is over-invested in fixed assets.
Accounts Receivable
Uncollected accounts receivable may cause cash flow problems and hinder business growth. Business owners may even look for a loan as a result. Careful analysis of the value of accounts receivable over time, the AR turnover and the aging of accounts will indicate business health and help determine if a loan is the proper course of action.
Would your balance sheet and bottom line benefit from a well-trained eye? Email email@example.com to schedule a complimentary call.


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Download FREE Cincy EZRide App to pay fare.
CINCINNATI – Ride the Cincinnati Bell Connector streetcar to explore the biggest light and arts event in the country, BLINK Cincinnati, Oct. 12-15.
The four-day event, which will span 20 blocks, from The Banks to Findlay Market, will be easily accessible along the Cincinnati Bell Connector route.
Riders are encouraged to skip the ticket vending machine lines and use the FREE Cincy EZRide app to purchase tickets right from their phone. The streetcar will run every 12-15 minutes along the route and fare is just $1 for a two-hour pass or $2 for an all-day pass.
Hours of operation during Blink:
Thursday 6:30 a.m. – 12 a.m.
Friday 6:30 a.m.- 1 a.m.
Saturday 8 a.m. – 1 a.m.
Sunday 9 a.m. – 11 p.m.
For more information about riding the Cincinnati Bell Connector streetcar, visit: cincinnatibellconnector.com.
About The Cincinnati Bell Connector:
The Cincinnati Bell Connector streetcar is intended to expand transportation options and enhance livability by connecting downtown, the riverfront and Over-the-Rhine. It is owned and funded by the City of Cincinnati, managed by the Southwest Ohio Regional Transit Authority, and operated by Transdev.


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Florida delegates continue their status as political hostages
Once again, here we go. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.
Hillary's manufactured outrage regarding the seating of Florida's delegate slate at the convention is like watching an episode of "As The World Turns." You can step away for a week and miss the daily media melodrama and then jump right back into the story line and you can pick right up where you left off. IOW, you haven't missed a damn thing. Obama is trapped because if he comes out and says what everyone knows, that the nominee will be accorded the power and status befitting the winner, and allowed to seat the delegates, the Hillary supporters will go bananas. That's why he's walking the tight rope and letting this false meme play out so Hillary can have her moment and claim she got the delegates seated on her terms and having them count in her favor.
Here is some parlimentarian 101. After all the hand wringing resulting with the Florida and Michigan delegations being seated with half their votes or whatever formula they come up with, a by this time bored Obama convention manager will saunter up to the DNC Convention Chair and tell him/her to go to the podium and carry out the nominees instructions. The Convention Chair will then move to the podium, bang the gavel, lean down with a look of solemnity and a monotone voice and breath into the microphone, "The chair moves by resolution to suspend the rules of the credentials committee and seat all the delegates with full voting privileges by acclimation."
The convention floor erupts on que. The gavel wielding chairperson leans down again, "All those in favor say 'Aye.' Again, on que and the 'Ayes!' roar up at the podium. The chairperson immediately leans back down again into the microphone and asks, "All those against say 'Nay.' Then without pausing and waiting for a reaction from the floor he/she bangs the gavel and the chair proclaims, all for network tv of course, "The aye's have it!" The band strikes up, the MSM gets their moment of drama, the camera moves in on Bill in the President's box to catch the Arkansas grin and the Hillary wing is vindicated.
New Hampshire is happy. Iowa is happy. The delegates have been sutiably punished by not counting toward the total needed to get the nomination thereby preserving those two states' first in the nation status. But the full slate of delegates are now seated giving the swing state movers and shakers the recognition they want. Everyone is happy that we've finally moved on and the GE focus can now begin in earnest. Florida and Michigan delegates can now crank up their state machine, now that the delegates are officially seated you see, and kick into gear.
Lesson over. There will be a quiz on the day the convention adjourns.
Jesus, how hard was that?Tweet
Posted by TrumanDem at 10:00 PM
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For anybody attempting to lose weight, the simple truth is proper diet will have a crucial role. If you're not dedicated to proper diet, you'll be fighting a constant fight. Missing proper diet can make it much more difficult of computer really must be that you should achieve your objectives. In the following paragraphs, I wish to provide you with 3 tips that you ought to consider regarding your diet. If one makes these 3 dietary musts commonplace inside your regular everyday diet, you'll achieve your objectives much faster.
The very first dietary must for anybody attempting to lose weight is to consume five to six smaller sized meals through the path of your day instead of two or three bigger meals. The truth is, eating five to six smaller sized meals with accelerate your metabolic process and enables the body to use-up more calories. The faster your metabolic process and also the more calories you burn the greater. Try to space meals out every 3 hrs approximately. Men need to eat 400 to 500 calories per meal where women need to eat about 300-400 (you may want to adjust accordingly as individuals figures are simply ballpark averages.)
The 2nd dietary must is you would like to try and can include a lean protein, an intricate carb, and good fat in each and every meal. If you're able to include lean proteins in complex carbohydrates in much of your meals you'll be setting the body up for achievement. Lean proteins include chicken white meat, egg-whites, salmon, tuna, poultry breast, top sirloin steak, cod, shrimp, and lobster. Complex carbohydrates include wheat grains or rye bread, oatmeal, yams, baked potato, wheat grains pasta, shredded wheat (all starchy complex carbs), lettuce, broccoli, asparagus, onion, peppers, tomato, corn, and carrots (all " floating " fibrous complex carbs.) Also by good fats I am talking about non saturated or non trans fats. Good fats include essential olive oil, peanuts, natural peanut butter, bals. Vin. Salad dressing, etc.
The 3rd dietary must would be to drink numerous water. The body consists of mostly water. Water is exactly what facilitates a lot of your bodily processes. Just believe me when i state that water is massively important. Have a water bottle along with you inside your vehicle, when you are at the office, so when you workout. The greater water you drink the greater. Replace soda along with other sugar filled beverages with water. Try to consume a minumum of one 2 liters water each day. The body will appreciate you and it will achieve your objectives faster.
When attempting to lose weight (in addition to whenever you lose it and wish to maintain it), eat five to six smaller sized meals during the day, attempt to have every meal contain a lean protein and sophisticated carb, and drink plenty of water. Adopt these measures and you will be for you method to reaching your objectives and achieve this in significantly less time.


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Wouldn't you love to just wake up every morning and know exactly what to do to unstiff yourself and set yourself up for comfort and flexibility throughout the day?
I have met so many people who just want to head straight for the coffee pot, myself included. Or, some might pop a pill, hit the freezer for a shot of vodka, or light up the bong. You think I am kidding. I know people who do this. Some also, just dress, head out the door and sooner or later the back loosens or it does not.
Since I am one of those people who does wake up with a stiff back, and it takes at least an hour for me to wake up, there is no way I can start work, or go out for a walk or run without doing some sort of stretching. Even the idea of yoga sounds awful if I am stiff.
When complaining to a friend about how long it takes me to wake up, she offered her solution, "I wake up, pee and go straight to the yoga mat, and breathe myself awake." OMG. A light bulb went off when I heard this. This I can do. My mind did not have to think a routine, or a lot of movement, or anything but walk to the mat. Somehow the mindset worked for me. It sounded inviting, slow and peaceful, and has been my practice ever since.
I want to share this same practice with you, because so many people have back issues, particularly upon rising. And, this practice serves so much more than the back.
So, here is what I recommend. Set up your yoga mat or a blanket in a spot in the house where it will be waiting for you first thing upon rising. Relieve yourself, grab a glass of water and go to the spot and simply do the "cat cow" stretches - slowly. If it is easy, turn on some soft morning music that feeds your soul.
Cat Cow instructions:
- Get on your hands and knees with your wrists directly under your shoulders, and your knees directly under your hips. Point your fingertips to the top of your mat. Place your shins and knees hip-width apart.
- Begin by moving into Cow Pose: Inhale as you drop your belly towards the mat. Lift your chin and chest, and gaze up toward the ceiling.
- Next, move into Cat Pose: As you exhale, draw your belly to your spine and round your back toward the ceiling. The pose should look like a cat stretching its back.
- Release the crown of your head toward the floor.
- Inhale, coming back into Cow Pose, and then exhale as you return to Cat Pose.
- Repeat.
Be extremely gentle and keep breathing. Chances are, if you are like me, you don't stop there and instead continue on with a few more stretches. It depends on how much time I have.
The point here is to get on the mat and unstiff your whole back and bring some fresh breath into your body - "breathe yourself awake while loosening your back." During this time you can also begin to go in and give your body gratitude and instructions for the day.
This practice will set up your spine for a more productive day, I am sure of it.
My vision for you is to be comfortable in your body. This is important especially as you get older. Much of people's back pain today can be alleviated. Since I have had chronic back pain for years, I have learned how to keep myself pain free, and that is with continual movement and strengthening.
Keeping our back healthy is so crucial at any age but especially as we get older. And speaking of getting older, today my interview is airing on the Menopause is a Trip Summit. Listen HERE for more valuable insight into the wonderful process we are living. You will also be able to download the "I love My Body" meditation mp3 for free.
Do you want to learn how to keep our back (and the rest of the body) healthy and more? I have got lots of tricks up my sleeve and I can't wait to share them with you. Schedule a strategy session with me HERE.


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Connecting state and local government leaders
There's never a dull moment in Macomb County.
A mayor is holed up in his office, communicating to the outside world mostly through Facebook. He dodged a procedural bullet when a commission in March threw out six petitions seeking to remove him from office.
A county executive is accused by the mayor of conducting an illegal potentially toxic dumping operation. As alleged payback, the executive released audio of a man who sounds like and may well be the mayor denigrating women, ethnic minorities and disabled children.
A county clerk had to recuse herself from weighing in on the recall efforts targeting the mayor because, as a political activist who on occasion dressed in a tinfoil suit, she led efforts to recall him three times herself. Now, in the five months since she joined county government, she is the target of two lawsuits, has lost her office computer privileges, fired two whistleblowers, crashed a county car, hid in a bathroom before phoning the police to avoid a reporter asking questions, and was caught on video stashing moving boxes as part of an effort to stall a long-planned county records transfer.
What is going on in Macomb County, Michigan? In recent months it has served up a steady stream of head-spinning storylines that offer a peek into its eccentric, fractious and dysfunctional political universe in this mostly suburban jurisdiction just north of the Motor City.
The details of the action seem scripted by a darkly comic satirist.
Jim Fouts is the 74-year-old three-term mayor of Warren, the third-largest city in the state with around 135,000 residents. The audio that has inspired recall petitions and has him hunkered down on social media and in his office surfaced in the fall and will not go away. Fouts contends the audio was faked, maybe "with Adobe software." Detroit-area TV news teams have asked experts to analyze the recordings.
Mark Hackel, the Macomb County executive, has said that Fouts, in his zeal to get back at him for releasing the audio, is scaring citizens by ringing public safety alarm bells. Hackel, according to Fouts, is engaged in a "cover up" and compared the dumping to the drinking water crisis in Flint caused by lead pipes.
"There are no public health concerns," Michael Taylor told The Detroit News in November. Taylor is mayor of Sterling Heights, a neighboring city where the alleged "illegal dumping" took place. "I'm disappointed at Mayor Fouts's actions and allegations which have alarmed and upset people," he said. "I'm also surprised that if he had a concern about something in my city he didn't pick up a phone and talk to me about it."
Fouts wrote on Facebook that "dark forces" are arrayed against him and that the city treasurer hijacked his Facebook page.
The treasurer, Lorie Barnwell, said she is one of the targets of the vengeful personality Fouts hides from the public. She has pointed out that Fouts removed her husband from the housing commission and ordered her image and an informational video on her office removed from the city website.
"What people don't realize is the man behind the mask isn't who they originally thought… There's a lot of darkness in him," Barnwell told The Detroit News in late April.
Fouts has said he is staying put until the end of his term in 2019.
Meantime, county officials are bracing for more trouble from stumbling Clerk Karen Spranger. They say the rookie, anti-government office-holder has served up at least one scandal for every month she has been in office, but that new tough state recall rules give them little room to maneuver.
"It's almost comical in a strange way, but at the same time, I don't think people realize the potential problem this is leading to," Bob Smith, the Democratic chairman of the Macomb County Commission, told Michigan Radio last week.
"We have to find a way to make this work," Republican Commissioner Leon Drolet said about Spranger. "If we can make some breakthroughs in cooperation, even if it requires the patience of a saint, then I think we're all better off for it."
John Tomasic is a journalist who lives in Boulder, Colorado.
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