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What's inside? Here are five word summaries of the questions answered inside this mailbag. Click on the number to skip straight to that question.
1. Co-signing with bad credit father
2. How many people read TSD?
3. Removing stains from cloth diapers
4. Percentage for emergency fund
5. Personal loan for adoption
6. Gloom, doom, and e-funds
7. Difficult job search
8. Frugality, clutter, and hoarding
9. Regular IRA versus Roth IRA
10. Which debt to pay first?
This weekend, we went to a wedding of an old friend in the middle of Wisconsin. On the way back, Sarah says, impromptu, that we should stop for the night and visit family. My work plans involved us going home, of course, so I'm writing this mailbag on the road between wireless hot spots, sitting in the front seat of a cramped Prius.
My Father is a retired teacher who started in real estate about a year before the current economic crash. He had three houses that he owned and was renting out to tenants. Once the real estate market crashed, he was unable to make a living in real estate and tried to get back into teaching, but hasn't been able to get much more than temp sub positions.
Needless to say, he wasn't able to keep his houses. One has gone into foreclosure already and he's trying to negotiate with the banks on the last two, but it's looking like he's going to loose those as well. He has a motor home that he will be able to live in temporarily if he does loose his homes, so he wont be homeless.
Recently he asked me if I'd be wiling to co-sign a new mortgage with him. He wants to leave his area (southern California) and move to an area where the housing market is better and prices are cheaper (Arizona). Since his credit is completely obliterated by the foreclosures, he would never be able to buy any time soon. He's looking for a small, cheap house that he can live the rest of his life in. He would make the downpayment and all mortgage payments, I would simply assume the risk. I'd love to help my dad out, but how would having two mortgages affect my credit? Would co-signing with someone who has lousy credit affect my credit? Is it even necessary to co-sign, would it be better for me to put the mortgage in my name and treat it like my dad is renting from me? If, god forbid, he were to pass away, which would it be better to have the house totally in my name, or be a co-owner? I know you're not a real-estate expert, but I'm sure you've done some research on this, so any advice would be greatly appreciated!
– Matt
If you cosign, the impact on your credit will be relatively low unless your father stops paying the bills. Then, if you do not, your credit will be in the hurt locker.
If he passes away, the same is true – if you've signed the mortgage, then it's now your mortgage. Better keep up the payments! Of course, if you're not specified as an owner of the house, the only thing you lose by not paying at that point is your credit.
I am generally extremely hesitant to encourage people to cosign on any loan with family members outside of a parent cosigning a college loan for their children. So often, such arrangements end in fights and broken relationships. It's just not worth it.
I believe you mentioned it in the past, but out of curiosity, about how many people follow your site or subscribe to it?
– Brandon
I have about 82,000 subscribers. About 28,000 of those get The Simple Dollar by email – the rest get it by their RSS reader (like Google Reader).
The site gets about 700,000 visitors per month, though that varies a fair amount from month to month.
In addition to that, I have a lot of additional readers that are hard to quantify because my site's content is syndicated elsewhere. For example, I get a lot of readers because my site's content is syndicated at the Christian Science Monitor, as you can see here. Those numbers are extremely difficult to quantify in any reasonable way.
As a fellow laundry soap maker and cloth diaper user, I'm wondering how you deal with the stains in newborn diapers. I'm wondering if there is an easy method that I hadn't thought of yet.
– Christina
I turned to Sarah, the resident expert on this:
"It depends on the cloth diaper, but I have the best luck just using a mix of washing soda and Simple Green. I rarely have any trouble with stains when I use the two of them as a mix.
I use about two teaspoons of Simple Green to 1/4 cup washing soda. Usually, I put the Simple Green in a spray bottle and spray it about 12-14 times right into the washing machine when it's filled with water, then spread the washing soda evenly on the water surface.
I usually don't have any stains at all when I'm done. If I do, I just repeat the Simple Green and washing soda."
So there you have it, from our resident cloth diaper washing expert.
I graduated from college last May (i.e. '09), and am lucky enough to have a job, but I still have considerable student loans and am trying to establish a nice emergency fund. In general, I have pretty good control over my finances, but I have a question I would like your advice on. I just received a bonus at work, and recently had a birthday, so I have a little extra cash than I usually do, and am trying to distribute it effectively. About what percentage should I put towards loans and about what percentage should I put towards my emergency fund? When a person has a little extra cash like this, what percent do you recommend on a little splurge? Although I know it must be done, after getting this money, it can be a little depressing putting it all towards debt retirement and a savings account, as I have done in the past.
– Tim
If you have no emergency fund, it should probably all go towards your emergency fund. I usually recommend that a person have about two months' worth of living expenses in their emergency fund if they're single.
If you already have that, then I'd focus more on the debts, starting with the highest interest one.
With splurging, I don't think it matters too much as long as you've thought it out and stick to a consistent policy. My wife and I don't splurge, per se, but we do often decide on "splurges" together and save towards them and windfalls usually are used to boost that savings to some degree.
My husband and I racked up some major credit card debt several years back (about 34k). We haven't used credit cards for nearly 2 years now, and 6 months ago we enrolled in a debt management plan through CCCS to simplify and lower our payments; it's been tight, but we're doing it and are determined to follow through and not accumulate any more consumer debt. My husband recently got a better-paying and secure job (I'm employed too & we make about $70k total), and our car will be paid off in about 9 months, so we are on track to improve our situation, save some money, and hopefully pay off our DMP early. We pay a very modest rent, have no cable, use prepaid cell phones and free VOIP home phone, no video games, etc. etc. etc. to keep expenses low.
That is all background to my bigger question. We have been trying for many years to have children, but are intractably infertile. I am unwilling to undergo hugely expensive IVF treatments with the risk that they might not work, and we have recently decided to move on and pursue adoption–a path we would have chosen much sooner if not for the potentially high costs, bureaucracy, etc. involved.
We have good friends who suffered from infertility themselves years ago, and took me aside about a year ago to offer to loan us money for infertility treatments or adoption, saying they didn't want finances to be an obstacle to us having children (they are quite wealthy, and made this offer completely spontaneously). I have been hesitant to take them up on this because a) I don't want money to distort our friendship, and b) I am hesitant to go further into debt–however long-term and low-interest it may be.
On the other hand, it will take us years to save the $20-25k needed to pay for an adoption; we would be in our forties by the time we saved enough, and we really want to be parents. The federal adoption tax credit is $13k, so we could quickly pay off a portion of the loan ($13k minus our total tax for the year, so say about $6k??). There are also some adoption grants that I would pursue that might pay $500 to a max of about $10k, but of course there are no guarantees of getting one.
I understand the major ramifications of both options (waiting & saving vs. accepting a loan); but it would be very helpful to hear your perspective. Subjectively, it feels like not being able to afford an adoption for several more years–after trying to get pregnant for 5 1/2 years already–is our punishment for making stupid financial decisions in the past. Objectively, I feel strongly that debt and finances should be treated as a practical rather than a moral matter; but the issue of having children is such an emotional one that it is very hard for me to be objective here.
– Lynn
I agree with you about the friendship thing, actually. If the friendship you have with these people is valuable at all, I wouldn't borrow money from them.
If it's an ongoing concern with them, you should sit down with them and simply tell them that you really, truly appreciate their offer to loan you the money, but that you're declining it because you know the negative impact that loans can have on friendships. One only needs to read The Simple Dollar for a while to know how badly it can end, even when people have the best of intentions.
Wait. Use your adoption dream as a focus point to encourage your diligent savings. Work together to reach your dreams without disrupting friendships.
With all the gloom and doom about the poor economy and how another recession is just around the corner, do you think I should beef up my liquid savings? Possibly pulling back a bit on the retirement investments? I just don't know what I should be doing these days money wise, other than just saving as much as I can. Sometimes I feel like a hoarder.
– Laura
First of all, I think the "doom and gloom" is usually overwrought by "newscasters" and commenters who make a very tidy profit by predicting doom and gloom. People pay attention to negative news and commentary – the ratings prove it time and time again. Rest assured, if it can be spun negatively, someone will be making a buck doing just that.
If you feel uncomfortable with your emergency fund, add to it. Don't worry about it, either. It's essentially a very secure investment with a low annual return – no risk, but no huge reward, either.
As for reducing retirement savings, I'd use a retirement calculator and see whether or not I was on pace for the retirement I wanted.
I'm 25 and have been living in the city I live in for 1 year, and the state I live in for about 3 years. I enjoy living in the area and have learned a lot about myself and others while living here. My only problem is that I work in a different city (and state) than I live in, and would like to change this sometime in the future — Its a lot of driving, but it does not really get to me all that much right now. I've been trying to apply for as many local jobs as I can, but around here the job market is pretty tight and we dont have much of an employment base outside of government money of various sorts (federal, state). While this has helped the area weather the storm, it is extremely difficult for others like myself to find a job. I've been thinking that the best thing I can do to find employment in my area is to get to know as many people in fields that I am interested in as possible. This is difficult, however because I have only lived here a year and am focused on paying down my debt, so I dont really go out that much, and I dont really spent that much time in the city because my commute is long and my job is out of state. I would like to get more involved in the things that are going on in my community, but I just dont know where to start. It seems like you are quite involved in your community (you've mentioned it briefly a few times) and I was wondering what all you do in the community, and where you think I should start. I know that a common suggestion is to head to my church and help out around there and network as much as possible, but I'm not really a religious person, so it makes me less inclined to attend church themed gatherings because I feel like they are trying to convince me to do something for them (attend their services) that I'm not positive I want to do. Do you have any suggestions for other quality networking opportunities that will also allow me to help out my city in some way? I'm interested almost everything, and I dont have a problem doing manual labor (such as clean ups) but I usually dont hear about things like that until after the fact.
– Jeff
The first person I would talk to is with a pastor at one of the local churches. Simply explain what your situation is and see if they can help. Quite often, pastors aren't out to "recruit" you – they're actually out there doing what Jesus says, which is to help the poor and needy. My pastor is one of the best people I've ever been around and she's constantly helping random people in our community, whether they're church members or not.
Being involved in the community is great, but it takes a very long time to build up a lot of connections in the community that can help you in such a situation. If you don't have them built already, it's pretty hard to just show up at community events and immediately ask for help.
Your best bet, if you want to start on that route now, is to spend your extra hours doing community volunteer work. Start with your city's parks and recreation department – they usually have tons of things going on that could be aided by volunteer work. Use that time to start connecting with others around you.
Lately, I've reading quite a lot about getting rid of clutter (in blogs such as Unclutter.com), and I've cleaned my room pretty good, throwing away everything I considered useless. And that felt great. My room is much cleaner and much more organized than ever before.
Now here are my questions:
a. Do you like to keep your room/house/garage clean and tidy? (I mean, we all love clean, but do you actually do it?)
b. How could frugality, bulk buying, etc. live in harmony with a clean and uncluttered house?
– Matthew
It really goes in phases with us. We have three little kids and the only constant with having three children that age is that something will happen to disrupt your best laid personal plans. It's pretty much a given. So, there are times when the house looks beautiful and everything is wonderfully organized and there are other times where it looks like a hurricane hit the house.
Our biggest drawback, really, is laundry. We do a lot of it but we still often fall behind and have to have "laundry days" to catch up.
Most of our bulk buying is with household goods like toilet paper and diapers. We store the excess in the garage on the shelves, so it's kind of out of the way. I think if you have a good place to put your bulk purchases, it's not hard to be organized and be a bulk buyer.
First, I've basically been teaching abroad for several years, which means I don't get any extra help on saving for retirement. I started an IRA during that time under some misguided information, now at around 17k. I now know that I should have started a Roth IRA because I can't possibly be making less than I do now. My question now is: should I roll over my IRA into a Roth IRA and incur the $1,200 in taxes (estimated by my IRA holder) for the rollover, or just open a Roth account and quit adding to the IRA? At this time, I do have about 14k in savings at the moment with 20k in student loan debt, so paying out of pocket for the rollover is doable.
– Ken
You really should take advantage of the opportunity to roll it over and just pay the taxes.
When you have a low income, you're far better off having money in a Roth IRA than a traditional IRA because of the tax advantages. If you save adequately for retirement and anything approaching economic normalcy happens over the next few decades, you'll pay a higher tax rate in retirement than you do now.
That means a Roth IRA wins big time. I'd roll it over.
I just graduated with my Master's degree, and I have been offered a position with a company in Cambridge, Massachusetts. I have approximately $10,000 in my savings account, and I will be making 44,000/yr plus excellent benefits with my new position. However, I have a few budgeting questions since I will need to begin paying my loans back in November. First, what percentage of my income can I expect as take-home pay?
I have about $46,000 in school loans, including the current interest. All of these loans with the exception of the oldest and smallest loan have a fixed 6.8% interest rate. My dad also has loans taken out for my schooling. Unfortunately, these are from my first years in school, when I didn't know enough about the loan process, even though I have always been good with personal budgeting. I believe these loans may be around $25,000 with interest in the double-digits. My dad has already told me that I don't need to rush to start paying for these loans ahead of those in my name or my regular monthly bills, but the high interest rate and my parents' tight financial situation, makes me think these loans should be my top priority.
Anyway, I suppose my question is where should I funnel my extra money at the end of each month and the $10,000 I currently have saved… my dad for the high-interest loans? the loans in my name? an emergency fund? Starting retirement accounts so they have many years to compound? I just don't know how to figure out what will put my family and I in the best possible financial situation.
My final question is about consolidating the loans in my name. I know if I consolidate during the grace period, I can get a .6% rate reduction, so I plan on consolidating soon. However, since I have loans with fixed interest rates, the May treasury bill will not affect my rates, correct? I just want to make sure there is no difference between consolidating before or after July 1st for me. Do you know how I can determine if rates are going to increase or decrease in case it could affect the loans in my father's name?
– Cara
The first thing you need is an emergency fund equal to about two months' worth of living expenses. Make minimum payments on your debts until you have that in the bank.
The next thing you need to do is sit down and have a serious adult conversation with your father about what the expectations are about the loans. Don't guess about it. Ask him honestly what he expects in terms of repayment. He might never expect anything. He might expect immediate payment. It's really hard to tell.
Your conversation there should tell you what the priority is. If you need to pay him quickly, pay him first. Don't sink that relationship. If he's fine with delaying it, focus on the high interest loans.
Yes, if you have loans with a fixed rate, your loans won't be affected by the May treasury rates or anything else. Only variable rate loans are affected in this way. It may be that the offered consolidation rate may change, but that's more of a business decision by whoever's offering the consolidation. Rates are really low right now, so it's a good time to consolidate.
Got any questions? Email them to me or leave them in the comments and I'll attempt to answer them in a future mailbag. However, I do receive hundreds of questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours.


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5 Medicinal Benefits of the Jujube Fruit
The Many Medicinal Benefits of the Jujube Fruit
Mention jujubes to an American, and we think of the candy we buy in the movie theater. Big, over-priced boxes of those little gummy things (see photo). However, the jujube fruit has long been known to have many medicinal properties.
The jujube (ziziphus jujuba) plant originated in China and has been cultivated for more than 4,000 years. It is also known by other names, such as the Chinese date and the Tsai. The jujube fruit is now grown in northern Africa, Russia, southern Europe, the Middle East and the southwestern parts of the United States. When fully mature, the jujube fruit is entirely red with a very high vitamin C content. The medicinal properties of the fruit have been used for millinea by various cultures.
Fresh jujube fruits tastes a bit like an apple. The fruit can be had fresh for optimum benefits. It can also be dried or sold in powdered form and served as a tonic or tea.
Listed below are 5 Medicinal Benefits of the Jujube Fruit (and many more):
1- Cancer Treatment - According to the National Center for Biotechnology, juice from the jujube fruit has been shown to have cytotoxic activity on different tumor lines. A study showed that the number of viable cells had been decreased after treatment. These benefits have been attributed to, among other things, the jujube's high content of bioactive compounds.
Studies conducted over a 20 year period have shown bioactive compounds to play an important role in the prevention of chronic diseases.
2 - Antioxidant Properties - Jujube fruit is also an antioxidant with rejuvenating properties. It has the ability to help clear up the skin.
3- Blood Purification - The dried fruits of the jujube contain saponin, alkaloids and triterpenoids. These three compounds are all beneficial in purifying the blood, and as an aid to digestion.
4 - Relief From Stress - The jujube fruit also has stress alleviating properties. Used in a powdered form, the jujube fruit helps calm nerves and reduce anxiety.
5 - Many More Benefits - In China jujube is used to treat diarrhea, fatigue and loss of appetite. In Japan, research has shown the jujube to increase immunity.
Additionally, jujube fruit is used to improve muscular strength, increase stamina, and as a tonic to strengthen liver function. One popular use is to make it as a tea to treat sore throats. Consuming the fruit will help treat chronic fatigue, bronchitis, and anemia.
See links below for additional links to herbs and their healthy benefits:
Other Herbs with Medicinal Benefits
- 10 Cooking Herbs and Spices to Aid Digestion
Many of the common herbs and spices we regularly use for cooking are beneficial for digestion. Digestion is extremely important because it makes many of our organs work together to absorb, break down and...
- What is Mamajuana?
A play on a word perhaps? That was my first thought when I serendipitously came across a discreet ad for mamajuana, while ordering food in a quaint little shop. Of course I thought immediately about the more...
- 12 Herbal Teas with Healthy Benefits
Herbal teas are also known as tisanes* and herbal infusions. Herbs have long been used in traditional medicine, and as a tea, is often prescribed by herbalists. If something ails you, there may be an herbal...
- Healing Properties of the King of Bitters
Add one more ancient herb to the natural list of medicines used in the U.S. for a variety of health disorders. During the last two decades, the King of Bitters (andrographis paniculata) has become popular in...
hOW DO i TAKE TO HELP SLEEP? i HAVE BAG OF DRIED JUJUBE AND WANT TO TAKE THE RIGHT NUMBER
Jujube is really good for the health but if added with Roselle (Red flower herb) it will be better than consume only Jujube or Roselle. This 2 Herbs combine together is very good for health.
My local farmers market has been selling the dried version of jujubes for about 3 years now and I buy them every week, unless they are out of season. I can say that in the last 2 years, I have rarely been sick...at worst maybe a short-lived seasonal cold. I'm not sure exactly how jujube helps a person's overall mental state, but I'd like to add from my own experience...this is a great mood stabelizer for women who suffer from PMS. I just stocked up and bought 5 bags of jujubes to get me through the summer, until they are back in season. They are also a great snack in between meals.
Thanks for knowing this. Great job.
Where can i buy the Jujube in Miami, thank you
I bought some at the farmers market. They had tea samples, but I didn't know what elde they were good for. So thank you for the 411.
Great information. Before this Hub I had never heard of this fruit, and I'm a health food nut. Thanks for sharing this.
I just read this before in passing but now of course I know more about it. Really good for health and it also tastes good like apple - Maita
I've looked around for jujube fruit and haven't been fortunate enough to find them either. I will take your suggestion and wait late summer and check the Asian markets here in Savannah as well.
did a web search for ziziphus jujuba. everyone wants to sell me a tree or an extract, but i can't find the actual fruit. any ideas?
i've seen jujube advertised as an ingredient in a tonic for male sexual function. i'm the wrong sex to try it.
i like trying different foods. thanks for bringing this one to mind. will try to get my hands on it
This is new for me. I never know about Jujube fruit before. But from your review, I believe this fruit give us a lot of benefits. Thanks for share. I can't wait to Vote this Up.
Wow cool! I don't think I have ever seen Jujube fruit anywhere though. Not even in Asian markets. Do you know where to get them?
How cool! I've never even heard of this fruit before. What great information BkCreative. I tell you, the earth has an abundance of wonderful wholesome foods that I don't think we have even tapped into.
This is very informative and edcuative. Thanks for sharing.
This is great information. I always love to hear about natural foods to help cancer. This is another food to add to the list. Thanks!
How interesting! Thanks for bringing this to our attention and shall have to look into it!
There really is a jujube? hehe. We need all the help we can get. Well done Bk
Thank you for this information of which I never heard of.
Thanks for the information on the jujube fruit.
I think I've eaten a fruit related to this one, BkCreative. My mother said it has great medicinal values.
Great information. I found your article well written and informative. Rated up and useful!
BK, as always great and helpful information, thank you for sharing it. Godspeed. creativeone59
You're so right about all this my Dear! I was taking pharmaceuticals for crazy inflammation and pain. I even got up to hydrocodone. I may still take that on a day. But pain just wants more and more of those pharmaceuticals. I take the green foods and such. I try to put nothing in my body that might increase inflammation and I use the Jujube and other products that may be proven like the Jujube.
Dang...i was hoping it was the candy! lol I've never had one of these fruits....I will have to see if I can find me one! Thanks for the info! Rated up of course :)
Hi, BK. So jujubes are really good for you! Who knew? Thanks for the jujube update!
BK, This is new information to me. Thanks.
Hi my friend :-)
As always great info!
Dugg your Hub and rated.
Very good and informative post !!

subset: commoncrawl


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Thursday, September 25, 2008
Kiss Me Over the Garden Gate
It all began last year with a tiny started plant from my gardening friend, Connie which grew rapidly to about 7 feet, speading its arms in ballerina fashion. As the flowers went to seed and dropped to the ground they 'volunteered' to come up this year. I plucked them up and set them in strategic places in this year's garden.
This one seems to guard the 'tomato pavillion' which is 4 feet tall and 20 feet long. More on the tomato pavillion next time.
Posted by Catherine at 6:34 AM 2 comments:
Friday, September 19, 2008
Speaking of Red...
Red has been my color for several years now, so these pics present some of my faves in the flower world. For example, how about a Shirley Poppy...or two?
Posted by Catherine at 11:48 AM 2 comments:
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Righteous Red Zinnia!
I find that these Righteous Red Zinnias are speaking my language today, the passionate language of living life on the Pazzazzy Bingo Card of Life!
This particular seed was obtained from Seeds of Change catalog which tells us that is runs from scarlet and orange-red, single and double blooms, as well as Pom Pom to State Fair and is spectacular in bouquets. They are right! This is just one of the many in my garden this year.
Posted by Catherine at 7:54 AM 2 comments:
Labels: Zinnias
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
The rest of the g-children.
Miss Isabella is my daughter's only child, three years old and becoming a gymnist. Watch for her in the 2020 Olympics! She's telling me how to do a backward flip, and I'm flipping out.
Alana is nearly 13 now! She's a beauty, doing well, and ever-so helpful to her mom as her dad is away in the military too, and she's the oldest girl now that Mandi is gone.
Tyler, my son's oldest boy, will be 19 next week!! He loves that little baby brother, and misses him from Oklahoma where he has joined the military. You go, Ty!!
Brianna is 8, having celebrated the recent b'day with Grampa and Grammy. When I asked her if she liked Strawberry Shortcake, which I thought would be fun for a July b'd, she told me she liked Cinderella better. We had a good laugh, then made the kind of strawberry shortcake you can eat, and she loved it!
Alana is nearly 13 now! She's a beauty, doing well, and ever-so helpful to her mom as her dad is away in the military too, and she's the oldest girl now that Mandi is gone.
Posted by Catherine at 7:36 AM 2 comments:
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
I'd like to introduce you to my grandchildren (one a day) before getting into the gardening part of this endeavor. First, the least one, Marcus. He is two and has been eating the chocolate of the S'mores we devoured on our vacation at the ocean in June. He is telling me, "Yes, I'd like more, please!"
Posted by Catherine at 11:39 AM 4 comments:
Labels: Introductions
Monday, September 15, 2008
Pleasant Places
Today is the first day of this blogging activity, thanks to Connie! This is the beauty, the pristine and pastoral landscape surrounding me which gives reason to declare the words of Psalm 16 "The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a goodly inheritance."
Posted by Catherine at 5:06 PM 6 comments:
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text: Like many life skills, resiliency is something we all need but which most people never learned to cultivate. In this LIFE KEYS archive from Hay House Radio, host bestselling author Lauren Mackler and her guest Dr. Joan Borysenko discuss ways to develop resilience, and use it as an inner resource for meeting the demands of daily life, managing change, and overcoming adversity. To listen to this free LIFE KEYS show archive, Mastering the Art of Resiliency, click on the link below.


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I'm glad this year is ending. It was not a bad year but not one of my best for sure.
The best of the latest years for me was 2004, many things changed for better in that year. 2006 was also a good one. Maybe the odd years are not good for me 🙂 . I don't know, I only know it's already time to have a great year again.
This morning I was thinking of how many things I had to get over in life to get what I wanted and how strongly I did it. I am a strong woman. I may be very sensible and passional too, but I don't let anybody or any situation bring me down. I must rescue that strength inside me. Maybe when things were really tough, dealing with material difficulties like when I was in the university, this strength appeared more easily. I need to remember always of that strength inside me to keep moving forward and for better. I must never forget what I'm able to do and to stand.
By those times I was remembering, setting goals seemed easier than today and besides the will [which I had much] all they needed was some material support.
I'm not very ambitious materially. I'm not attached to the money. I recognize the importance of it, as a support for what I want in life. And I need more life. Intense life. Intense inside me. I need to try, try again what I did wrong repeatedly in life. Try it differently. Try always, better and differently.
That's my main goal now: give a different try for life.
I'm also thankful that my family is doing good. Things are getting better for my sisters. And my parents, advanced in age, are there strong and happy.
And I wish a smooth, sweet, joyful and happy 2008 for me and everybody else!


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Quilt Row 4-Square 1-Caleb Genin/
Row 4
Square 1
July 4, 1990 – April 3, 2010
This square is done in loving memory of my son, Caleb Genin. It represents the deep compassion that he had for his Lord, his country, his family and his friends, even in death.
The meaning of this square is "Jam Packed", because with only his 19 years with us, he accomplished more both mortally and eternally than most have in a lifetime.
Everything in this square has a meaning, from the specific use of colors to the carefully chosen images and designs:
The Picture – as a young boy, Caleb was always looked up to and respected by his peers, as a leader and someone they could count on. Since a child, he always had an attraction to the American flag and it was his goal and lifelong dream to serve his country.
The Marine Flag - represents honor, courage and commitment. These characteristics were more than just words to Caleb. They were a lifestyle, and he would strive to do his best at all things.
The Red Rose - when Caleb wanted to show his love in a flower, he chose the red rose. The rose (which represents the blood of Christ) and the heart shape (which reminds us of a mother's love) were designed by me for his headstone. It is God's autograph; the red in the rose symbolizes love and the green leaves remind us of new life.
The Heart - was very special to Caleb probably because he had such a burning compassion for people and living life to the fullest. It was one of our ways of communicating with each other and still is today.
The Black Words - reminds us of the sin in our lives and the eternal separation from God.
The Blue - washing the sin away through Jesus Christ, the only Son of God.
The White - is for the purity, cleansing us from sin.
The Gold in the Buttons - symbolizes the golden gate of Heaven and reminds us all of the opportunity God has given each and every person to spend eternal life in Heaven with our Lord and others who love Him.
If you look carefully at the picture, you will see a rainbow in the background. The rainbow symbolizes God's promise and His two open hands and the Holy Spirit in the form of a dove just under the rainbow. You see the Trinity of the Lord's head, three in one. Ironically, this picture was on a sympathy card that appeared in his high school graduation cards only a year ago. I believe God sent me my sympathy card so I could have peace seeing that love from Christ hugging Caleb. The cross that is shown was part of a tattoo with the Psalm, "Praise to the Lord my rock, who trains my hands for war" that Caleb put on his back while in the Marine Corps; it was his way of always being a witness for Christ in life and death. The rose has much beauty and a sweet fragrance just as life does, but it also has thorns that cause pain and bleeding, but only for a while. There is a reason for all things; live each day to the fullest, recognizing the beauty, love and appreciation for all things. Forgive, just as Jesus died to forgive us.
Something I will always hold close to my heart is the motor of the Marine Corps; "Semper Fidelis", which is Latin for "Always Faithful". It distinguishes the bond and brotherhood between Marines and their families and lasts for life. The transformation into a Marine is one that can never be undone; there is no such thing as an 'ex-Marine'. Their motto reminds us that once a Marine is made, they will forever life by ethics and values of the Corps.
"Till We Meet Again"
Susan Ardoin Stoot


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Chevron One, Wrecked!
For her birthday Jamie's friend ordered her a cake with a pretty chevron pattern on it, knowing how much Jamie liked the design.
Now, for those of you NOT on Pinterest, a chevron pattern looks like this:
I'm not sure which colors her friend requested, but I doubt it mattered anyway, since...
...the baker just put the Chevron gas station logo on it, instead.
Thanks, Becky! That was a real gas!
And 10 geek points to anyone who caught my Stargate reference. ;)
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.


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Sweet Dreams with Homeopathy
Those parents who have witnessed their child go through night terrors know exactly how traumatic an experience it can be. You hear your child cry out in that chilling shriek; you rush in and turn on the light, knowing there's not a lot you can do but try to bring them gradually out of their unreachable oblivion which seems to last forever. Then your child screams at something just over your left shoulder and you feel your skin prickle, wondering what on earth it is that your child can see,because the only thing you can see when you look around is empty space. But what if there really is something there…….?
There is no mistaking a night terror for a nightmare. Nightmares typically occur during deeper sleep and don't usually involve shrieking with open eyes at something nobody else can see. There are some children who will only ever experience a night terror once in their life during a fever, others every night. It depends on many different factors, which we will go into, but for those whose children suffer from regular night terrors, have you ever wondered why some kids get it and some don't?
In conventional treatments there's not much that can be done to help children with night terrors, and I've seen very few other treatments that can reliably assist in this distressing condition. One modality that can work wonders with night terrors is homeopathy, as it has an effect on the deeper emotional levels to gently rebalance from within. I will go into this in a little more detail later on, but now let's have a closer look at how and why night terrors happen.
Why do night terrors happen?
Night terrors and other sleep phenomena have been a much studied realm of science. Typically appearing out of nowhere and relatively common in children around three years old, some unlucky kids (and their parents) suffer until up to twelve years old. http://www.webmd.com/sleep-disorders/night-terrors Often a night terror will hit around 90 minutes after your child has fallen asleep, which corresponds with the change in one stage of sleep they are in, to another.
It may be possible to link your child's night terrors to a distressing event if they are due to some kind of post traumatic response, and many parents will say their child started having night terrors after a disturbing occurrence. However, there are plenty of small children whose parents can't think of any reason as to why it may be happening. So let's have a look at some of the other possible triggers that may bring on night terrors.
Being over tired can trigger night terrors
Most parents would have some experience with being severely overtired at some stage or other in their careers as parents. It's likely you may have felt some or even all of the following on occasion: being wired and unable to sleep, extremes of emotion such as anger, distress, upset to the point of sobbing over mini-disasters(such as running out of tomato sauce at dinner time), or an increase in irrational fears and anxieties. read more here
Severe sleep deprivation can literally scrape away that layer of self control we have so diligently worked hard at cultivating so we don't end up dissolving into hysterics at the mere hint of something going wrong. As children, the world makes even less sense than for adults, and there is even less control over that animal fight/flight, baseline survival type terror that rises up when the messy stuff hits the fan. I suspect we all have some kind of terror reflex stored in our cellular memory which comes out at times like this and takes over our rational mind. For a child, this layer is very close to the surface. Ensuring a good sleep routine would be the first thing I'd recommend to help to reduce the incidence of recurring night terrors.
Bed time routine and reducing night terrors
It may seem obvious but we all forget sometimes just how sensitive little ones are to the horrors they see on the news, or other television shows we hardly even notice. (Which are often on at the time when they're most likely to take their worries to bed with them). Be mindful of what they're exposed to, especially in the couple of hours leading up to bedtime. Sometimes it's almost impossible to avoid yelling and screaming when it's at that time of evening and the kids (and often parents) are over tired, wanting only to use the new couch as a trampoline and run away when it's time to clean their teeth or get herded into bed. These kinds of situations happen in most households and many parents I know (myself included) find it extremely difficult to keep cool, especially when there are two or more little crazy people to make that experience all the more lively!
If your child is a night owl, one suggestion may be for the first week to start their official bedtime at the time they naturally feel tired (especially if it's a battle trying to get them off to sleep any earlier). There's no point setting official bedtime at seven thirty if they naturally don't fall asleep until ten o'clock, but don't worry. You can gradually trick them into it. For the second week, try adjusting the bedtime to fifteen minutes earlier, say nine forty five. Do this for at least a week to allow your child to get used to it. Then each subsequent week shave fifteen minutes off until you have the desired bedtime. This takes perseverance and consistency but for most little ones it works a treat, and they won't even know it's happening!
Certain foods and night terrors
Given that it's not always possible to guarantee a good night's sleep for either yourself or your children, for those who have literally tried everything to get their kids into the best sleeping pattern they can, the next thing to look at is their diet. If your kids are even the least bit sensitive (which most kids are), it's likely they may be reacting to certain substances that are common in many processed foods. Let's check out a couple of very common chemicals in processed foods that make those foods so appealing for children.
MSG: This would have to be one of the worst offenders for causing over-excitability to the nervous system, and one of the chemicals that make so many snacks taste delicious to little sensory-greedy tongues. The full name is monosodium glutamate and the most important thing about this substance is that glutamatic acid is an excitatory neurotransmitter in the brain, and MSG has a very high percentage of glutamic acid which can cause many other problems as well. read more here
This means that if you eat MSG, it's likely that you may be overstimulating your nervous system. And for anyone who has ever been in close association with a toddler, you may have noticed that the LAST thing small children need is to be in any way overstimulated!
What about preservatives?
Chemical intolerances to processed food present in a huge variety of symptoms, many on the mental/emotional level. It may seem that your child is channelling the devil, when really they're just reacting to something in the party franks. It's important to ensure that these foods are kicked out of the diet if you have even a glimmer of an inkling that they may be involved. read more here
So now that you've cut out as much processed food from your child's diet as you can, what about naturally occurring chemicals in foods? Does your child get rashes around the mouth and then fly into a vicious rage after eating broccoli? Or you may only notice a slight edginess or more fear at bedtime. It could even be very subtle and you may not notice anything at all until the shrieks at eleven o'clock when you're just drifting off into deep sleep. Foods such as strawberries, tomatoes, eggplant and potatoes which have gone a greenish tinge are among the highest in a substance called salicylates, which can upset some children to an extreme degree. You may also want to think about the fact that strawberries (which I have listed first for a very good reason) are the most heavily sprayed foods that you can get, and literally absorb a huge percentage of toxic pesticide residue. Tomatoes are up there for having a super high pesticide residue as well. These foods may seem healthy and delicious, but can actually be terribly harmful for even your non salicylate sensitive children if eaten in large quantities, unless they are organic.
So, back to salicylates, which can be found in foods that are extremely nutritious for most of us, or a disaster for those with a salicylate sensitivity. Unfortunately these sensitivities are on the rise and can cause all kinds of weird and wonderful symptoms. Most commonly though, salicylates in those sensitive to them can induce extreme nervous stimulation which may manifest as hallucinations, delirious behaviour, crazy, mad running around like the Tassie devil in loony tunes, or bouts of extremely violent behaviour. And of course, one other common outcome of high salicylate intake for those who are sensitive, are night terrors. I've included a link to a website here http://fedup.com.au/factsheets/additive-and-natural-chemical-factsheets/salicylates that explains the salicylate issue further.
Foods to eat to help with peaceful and terror-free sleep
Foods that induce certain hormones and other substances to assist the body to sleep better include good carbs, such as good quality bread (without preservatives). I've found a good supermarket brand that is an organic spelt sourdough. It's not cheap but I happily feed it to the kids as a pre- bedtime snack if they're still hungry, knowing they'll have full bellies and it will help them to have a great sleep. Spread liberally with good quality butter and maybe even a tiny smear of organic honey or a nut butter if wanting to avoid the sweet before bed (if they're not salicylate intolerant) may help induce a better sleep. read more here
Overheating, fevers and night terrors
Some little ones are just powerhouses of heat and in my clinic it's often these ones who become overheated and then the screams start. Note that the body's thermostat is located in the hypothalamus, which is also responsible for many other functions such as hormonal regulation, maintaining a general state of balance in the body and moods. The hypothalamus also, interestingly, has a hand in behaviour regulation. I can only theorise, but I do wonder if this is the reason that relatively sudden increases in body temperature can be a trigger for night terrors. read more here
Just as external heat of too many covers can be a potential trigger, so can internal heat. The hypothalamus is the area of the brain that will set the inner thermostat to a higher temperature and cause the body to have a fever if there is a need to attack an infection. There are many children who have night terrors only when they are either about to come down with an illness, or at the initial stage when there is a fever, and a pretty decent part of my practice is occupied with helping mums and little ones deal with fevers.
Night terrors and Homeopathy
There is a considerable treatment gap in conventional medicine when it comes to night terrors, which is really a nice way to say that there's nothing that anyone can really do about it, aside from follow the prevention tips above. But what happens if you've done everything you can to prevent it from happening and you're still woken up at all hours of the night by a child with recurring night terrors? It's not something you even want to see once in your child, let alone on a regular occasion. This is where homeopathy can shine, as it offers one of the only treatments in existence for night terrors. read more here
Homeopathy works on an individual basis where each child is treated differently, depending on their exact symptoms. Some children will have super high fevers and this may be the only time they will experience night terrors. Other kids will have had stressful events which will spark them off in a recurring way, and these events may even be connected to a traumatic birth situation. As said earlier, there may be no known link to any cause.
There are certain homeopathic remedies that can help to treat kids who suffer from many different types and occurrences of night terrors,each child's experience will be different. Not only do homeopathic treatment have a great track record with helping night terrors, it's also common for parents to report back that their child is generally happier in themselves, healthier in other ways and eating better as well. Proper treatment works on the whole person and not just one aspect of their health.
When you go to see a homeopath, don't be surprised if they ask other seemingly unrelated questions about your child's behaviour, eating habits and fears as a homeopath sees all of these areas as related. This is the single most fantastic aspect of homeopathy and why so many people around the world are choosing this amazing and fascinating modality for maximising their health.


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It is better to travel well then to arrive.
Many people travel to different places every year and never think about the many exciting adventures that they could have if they were to go on a cruise. They do not realize the additional experiences and great benefits that come with boarding a cruise ship and setting sail. Few vacations allow you to have everything included in the price of your trip but a cruise is one of them.
When you are traveling on a cruise you can get amazing services and benefits from massages to libraries where you can find hundreds of books to explore and read. There are amazing adventures that you can take part in on the ship or you can participate in optional excursions when you are at different ports and getting off of the ship. There are many options available for you and places where you can go with a cruise.
So this really can be the perfect vacation for anyone. Not only will couples and individuals enjoy cruises but families can enjoy them as well. There is no age range that likes cruises better and everyone from young to old can have a great time.
1. Parking
If you are very lucky you can take public transportation or have a friends or family that will drive you to the port. Otherwise you will need to fly or drive in. One option is to park at the airport or the port. But there are other parking options. There are other places to park at the port and airport that may be less expensive. These options require some research and a bus ride to the airport or port.
Another option is a hotel stay. If you stay one night in a hotel before your trip, they sometimes will keep your car at the hotel during your stay for free. This may make a free or less expensive hotel stay during your trip. I also like being at the port or airport early so I know I won't be late.
2. Lines
There may be a line to check in at the port terminal before you get on the cruise ship. But who wants to stand in line during their vacation time? If you book though certain companies you can go to the front of the line or the VIP line. Also, if you have sailed many times with one cruise lines you may move to the short line. Having a suite will also get you into a shorter line for check-in.
3. Timing
You need to be at the cruise terminal and checked in at least 60 minutes before the cruise leaves. But you can start your vacation early by getting to the ship early. You may not be able to go to your room because it is not cleaned. But you can explore some parts of the ship, eat lunch, and relax on the deck at port if you get to the port early.
4. Getting to Your Room
They will tell you that your room may not be ready until a certain time. You can go down to your room if they let you. This may be helpful to use the bathroom, freshen up, or put down any carry-on bags. Then you can explore the ship, hopefully enjoy the weather change, and eat lunch!
5. Muster Drill
One of the things I hate most about going on a cruise is the muster drill. There I said it. This is coming from someone who cruises 2 times a year. But the last thing I want to do when I start my vacation is to get crammed on a hot deck with strangers for 20 minutes.
I have learned to wait about 5 minutes after the drill starts to go to the muster station so you are not stuck in the back. Just relax and try to learn the ship as you do this drill. The drill may be important. Just remember that. My husband always tells me that the drill will be over soon and then we can enjoy our vacation.
Enjoying Your Cruise: Tips, Tricks, and Things You Should Know
6. Explore The Ship
The first thing my husband I like to do when we get on a cruise ship is explore. Find the fastest way from your cabin to the dining room. Know where the quiet reading places are or the best chairs for entertainment on the deck. Find the activities you want to try. We enjoy just enjoying the ship.
7. Find The Places to Eat
One ship usually have many restaurants. Some of them you need to pay a fee to eat there. But there are usually buffets and other places to eat during the day. On one of the ships we were on they had hot dogs, hamburgers, pizza, and fries all day. I would get some fries for a snack and then find the ice cream machine for a salty and sweet treat. You don't want to go on most of your cruise and find a great eating place the last day. Enjoy eating from day one.
8. Check Out the Lido Deck
The sun is not for everyone, but the pool deck is a great place to people watch and enjoy your vacation. There may be some shady places on deck if you do not like the full sun. But if you want to tan this deck is the place for you (if the weather is nice). I love watching the pool games such as Mr. Sexy Legs on NCL. I get sea sick so being on this deck where the area is open, there is a small breeze, and I can be in the center makes me feel a little better. Also, the distraction of free entertainment helps too.
9. Enjoy the Ship Activities
There are many ship activities. You don't have to do any of them if you like. But some of the activities are fun and make days at sea go faster. They will give you an itinerary every day in your cabin where you can plan your day. Or if a plan is not a vacation to you, you can just walk around the ship and if there is something that interests you, join in. Many activities are free but some are not. For example Bingo is not free.
10. Enjoy the Night Life
The night does not need to end at dinner on a cruise ship. If you like you can just go to bed and that is fine too. You can also try dancing, the casino, themed parties, sometimes movies on the deck, and other activities. People watching is a great activity at night too.
To read all 50 Tips please view the book on Amazon that is available for free with Amazon Prime. In the book you will find all 50 Things to Know and other resources.