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Redemptive Parenting: Questioning the Faith of a Child – Chase Maxey & David Elston
Responding to a Child's Sin
When your child sins, how do you respond? Does your response invite and move them toward the God of grace? Or does your response unintentionally push your child in another direction, creating distance in their relationship with you and confusion in their relationship with the Lord?
In such challenging seasons of parenting one thing well-meaning Christians may be tempted to do is question their child's standing with the Father. Implicitly, this may take the form of a long-term, understated disposition toward your child that questions their status as children of God. Whether this takes place in conversation between you and your spouse or simply in your own heart, either way your child will likely pick up on your doubt. Explicitly, in hard moments when egregious sin has been revealed, it may sound like, "How can you call yourself a Christian?" or "Are you even a believer?"
So, is this the best way to approach our children? Is it helpful for believing parents to question their child's salvation, whether openly or inwardly? I ask these important questions specifically considering a child who verbally professes faith in Christ, whether or not they are producing visible fruit (for children who don't believe, see the next blog). Before we answer, let's ask the question behind the question – what do we think of the Christian who sins? What do we think of ourselves when we sin?
God's Response to His Children
We get a glimpse of the way God responds to his sinful children in Paul's letter to the Corinthian church. The Corinthian church is a wild and scandalous bunch! Although they have not abandoned the gospel, they are grossly abusing it. Rather than the godly fruit Paul had hoped to see in this church he planted, he hears that they are suing each other, sleeping with prostitutes, and even getting drunk at the Communion table! What you might expect Paul to say in response is, "Obviously you are not believers, or else you wouldn't be so rebellious." Or, "I see no fruit in your life, so you must not be truly saved." But, in the counter-intuitive way that God's Holy Spirit often works, Paul actually does the exact opposite. Listen to how he responds to their scandalous sin:
- To those engaged in lawsuits against one another, he asks, "Do you not know that we are to judge angels?" (1 Cor 6:3)
- To those sleeping with prostitutes, he exhorts, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?" (1 Cor 6:19)
- To those being divisive in the church, he graciously poses, "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you?" (1 Cor 3:16)
In each question, there is an assumption of salvation, not a questioning of it. To those who have been sexually immoral, he assumes salvation when he says, "Don't you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit?" To those who are suing each other, he assumes salvation when he speaks of their future reign with Christ, saying, "Don't you know you'll judge angels?" Paul is still able to assume salvation in speaking with these people because he knows it does not depend on their own righteousness, but on Christ's, in whom they believe. So even when we abuse grace by our sin, God's response is not "Clearly you are no child of mine, depart from me." But instead, we hear grace that is utterly shocking! His response is, "Don't you know you are my child? Come back to me." "Child, you know this isn't who you are anymore. Be who I've already pronounced you to be."
It's not that God doesn't care about holiness. Just the opposite! He is undoubtedly committed to sanctifying his sinful people. But, as we see in Paul's example, God's primary method of sanctifying us is not by threats of judgment, but by promises of grace. So even when he confronts sin, it is done in a way that invites and attracts us to the Savior.
So how does Paul's example inform us as parents?
True vs. False Assurance
As we go further it's worth reminding: we are writing with regard to children who profess faith in Christ, even if that is with a great deal of wrestling, doubt, apathy, or seeming lack of evidence. It is a different case if they reject Christ outright, and we must deal with such frightening and dangerous implications accordingly (see upcoming blog). But, if the child says he believes in Christ, who are we to judge salvation? Do we know the human heart or have the precise metric for measuring the fruit of salvation? As Paul says, "Do not pronounce judgment before the time, before the Lord comes, who will bring to light the things now hidden in darkness and will disclose the purposes of the heart" (1 Cor 4:5). And so, for now, if they profess faith in Christ, then that is how we are called to deal with them – as Christians.
At this point you may think, "But I don't want to give my child a false assurance of salvation!" If so, I am thankful for your concern, but I also want to further consider and test the true legitimacy of such concern. What are we supposed to base our assurance on? It is not on our work, our fruit, or our obedience. Those things may be the evidence of salvation, but we would be setting ourselves up for no assurance at all if we put our confidence in something as fickle and unreliable as ourselves. Reader, can you confidently say that there is no "fruit" lacking in your life? Or can you say that there aren't areas of your life or seasons in which the evidence of your salvation is dim? I surely can't! Thank God that "he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy" (Titus 3:5)!
The assurance of our salvation must stand firmly and solely on the already finished work of Christ at the Cross. Period. There is no such thing as false assurance that is based on the Cross. Just the opposite, if in Christ's work your child is assured of their salvation, they are children of God, indeed. Ironically, it is when we question their salvation in times of failure or disobedience that we are actually contributing to a false assurance, making them think that salvation waxes or wanes based on their behavior.
It is a grasp of the grace of God in the gospel that produces the fruit of his Holy Spirit and change in a person's life. So if we do see sin or we do see major blind-spots, we must call them away from sin to a renewed belief in the gospel. And even as we do so, we do it not to them as unbelievers who need to be perfect to attain salvation, but as believers who are going through the ups and downs of progressive sanctification by the Spirit. The same ups and downs that we go through as Christians, even though circumstantial struggles are undoubtedly different. At no point will our righteousness ever be more than "filthy rags" in comparison to Christ's perfect obedience done on our behalf, which is why we and our children must depend solely on the righteousness of Christ.
Practically Speaking
So, back to our original question, what then do we do when our children sin? If we don't question salvation, then what do we do? By way of conclusion, here is a summary of three things to keep in mind as you attempt to shepherd your children:
1.We approach them as believers on the same difficult, lifelong journey of sanctification that we are on. You and your children are in the same category – pilgrims on the way. Imperfect, but being perfected by the Spirit. Sinners, yet justified in Christ. Broken, but redeemed and awaiting an even more glorious redemption.
2. We call them away from their sin. As sheep under the care of the Shepherd, we acknowledge the dangerous and foolish ways that they are straying from His care. They need discipline that is loving and restorative, discipline that is not in anger or judgment, but the kind of discipline that is a "rescue mission" (T. Tripp).
3. We call them to a renewed faith in the gospel. We aren't calling them simply to different behavior, but to a deeper faith in the gospel, which is the root of real growth and lasting change. When our child's egregious sin and failure is revealed, and our response is to question their salvation, we are implying that salvation depends on them, which will lead to either rejection of the faith ("I could never be good enough") or legalism ("I'm saved as long as I am doing X, Y, and Z"). But when their egregious sin and failure is revealed, and instead our response is, "Aren't you glad that salvation that doesn't depend on our goodness?" then they will understand who this Jesus is and why he's worth living for.
Sick with Wanting: 12 Tips for a Greed-Free Christmas – David Elston
"Daddy, how can I possibly wait so long to open my Christmas presents?"
This was my four-year-old son's question to me at 6:15 this morning, just a few minutes after he had gotten out of bed. He said it as he stared across the living room at two presents under the tree with his name on them. He has asked it several times in the last 24 hours. Now, he could be asking out of innocence, telling me that he does not know how to bear the feeling of wanting and not having, the act of waiting (especially on a surprise). But if he's anything like his dad, he is also asking out of a heart best described by the song "Ill With Want" by the Avett Brothers:
"I am sick with wanting
And it's evil and it's daunting
How I let everything I cherish lay to waste…
The more I have, the more I think,
"I'm almost where I need to be,
if only I could get a little more.""
When my son asked the question, I was immediately struck with its importance and relevance for us all as we head toward Christmas morning. Because greed truly does make us sick: dissatisfied, always wanting more; ungrateful, thinking we aren't getting what we deserve; anxious, always looking for the next fix. Greed perverts relationships – with God and people – into tools we use to feed our own gluttonous hunger for more.
In light of this, I decided to search the Scriptures for some help in preparing both my child's heart and my own for this season. Here's my working list of biblical ways to protect our families from greed and nurture a family after God's own heart this Christmas. Make sure you read the Scriptures with the points!
1. Encourage your children to give their own gifts to the family (and if necessary, help them buy the gift and wrap it). Help them find pleasure in the anticipation of Mom's face when she opens her gift from them.
- "It is more blessed to give than to receive" (Acts 20:35).
2. Remember that sometimes our greed is not for luxury but for security (if I have a little more money, I'll be secure). But whether for luxury or security, greed is idolatrous. Real security is found in the never-leaving, never-forsaking love of God.
- "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).
3. Let your children see poverty first-hand and participate in mercy. Go visit the Burmese refugee family down the street, let your children play with theirs, and let them participate in showing them mercy in personal and material ways. Don't just talk about how people in Yemen are starving; personalize poverty for them.
- "If a brother or sister is without clothing and in need of daily food, and one of you says to them, "Go in peace, be warmed and be filled," and yet you do not give them what is necessary for their body, what use is that?" (James 2:15-16).
4. Tell the story of Christmas as it really was – a poor, teenage mother who gave birth to a baby in the squalor of a stable, away from family and home, who was about to flee for her life as a refugee.
- "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that you by his poverty might become rich" (2 Corinthians 8:9).
5. Each night in December, ask them to name three things they are thankful for. Help them to literally count their blessings, both physical and spiritual.
- "Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits." (Psalm 103:2).
6. Teach them about the insatiable nature of greed in a way they'll understand. I am thankful for the Berenstain Bears' book The Green-Eyed Monster that has helped give our family words for the abstract idea of greed. "Don't let the green-eyed monster in!" is more easily grasped by a child than "Don't be greedy!" See also, The Berenstain Bears Get the Gimmies.
- "He who loves money will not be satisfied with money, nor he who loves wealth with his income; this also is vanity" (Eccl. 5:10).
7. Toys break, Legos are lost, but the Word of our God remains forever. Let your children feel the transient nature of earthly treasures, that all things are cursed by the Fall. Don't condemn toys as worthless (we are embodied creatures, after all), but model for them the superior and lasting joy of knowing Christ.
- "Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matthew 6:19-21).
8. Tell them the Christmas story with an emphasis on how God's people were waiting for the Advent of the Messiah. You could talk about how Mary waited and "treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart." You could talk about Elizabeth waiting for many years to become a mother (Luke 1). You could talk about Simeon waiting his whole life for "the consolation of Israel." Your child is not the only one who has waited with great longing for Christmas Day!
- "For truly, I say to you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, and did not see it, and to hear what you hear, and did not hear it" (Matthew 13:17).
9. Do an audit of your Christmas traditions to see if they are reinforcing materialism. Should Susie really write a letter to send to the North Pole, detailing her list of requests she earned by being a "good girl" this year? Are you going into debt each year to make Christmas bigger and better than the year before? Is Christmas morning a ravenous feast of children tearing into wrapping paper? Or is it the thoughtful giving of gifts to one another in honor of God's gift to us?
- "And he said to them, 'Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions'" (Luke 12:15).
10. Help them long for and wait on the right thing: the Second Coming of Christ, when all the things that make them hurt and cry will be removed and replaced with a Joy that will never become boring, lost, or obsolete. A great way to help long for the right thing (and point #8) is with the practice of a family Advent each Sunday, leading up to Christmas Day.
- "For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies" (Romans 8:22-23).
11. Asking God for help, search your own heart for any flavor of greed. Where have you let the green-eyed monster in? It could be greed for intangible things like success, power, approval, and control. It could be greed for tangible things like books, cars, clothes, houses. In an appropriate way, confess your own struggle with greed to your children, as well as your repentance. If you do all ten things listed above but still have the Gimmie Gimmies yourself, don't expect your children to do otherwise.
- "Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Psalm 139:23-24).
12. One final, very important point to conclude. While we are responsible as parents for the kinds of things on this list (a daunting thought!), we do not have the power to change the hearts of our children (much less our own heart). We must trust Him, both to forgive and to change the heart. If you think that it is up to you to change hearts, you will set yourself up for frustration and crush the spirits of your children. Why are you surprised that you children struggle with greed, like you? Be gracious with them, knowing your own desperate need for Rescue. And celebrate when you see the work of God in them.
- "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me" (Psalm 51:10).
What about you? Do you have any thoughts, practices, or traditions that keep you from being "ill with want" and help you cherish Christ during this season? If so, please send me an email with your thoughts – email@example.com. I need your help, too.
Rest In Peace? – Chase Maxey
The classic tombstone epitaph is R.I.P., or Rest in Peace. Is that how you see death as you approach it? Or as someone you love approaches it? Do you look forward to it with a sense of rest or peace for what's ahead? Or the opposite, a sense of despair and dread?
Realistically, each one of us is moving toward a physical death, though some of us tend to be much more aware of this reality. Such awareness can be very difficult to speak about, let alone embrace. So, how can our numbered days be peaceful when the brutal enemy of death is always approaching? How do we provide real help and lasting encouragement to those staring into the face of death? It doesn't make sense to only consider the physical realm when we all agree that death comes to all men. Since we are built for eternity, we must give wise thought to the spiritual implications of death on this earth in order to prepare for the life to come: "So we do not lose heart. Though our outer nature (physical body) is wasting away, our inner nature (spiritual soul) is being renewed day by day" (II Corinthians 4:16).
Knowing the truth definitely changes us, but knowing the truth does not make the process of change easy. Let's face it, death's approach can be scary. And, if you think that you are approaching the end of your physical existence all alone or are unsure of what happens when the final bell tolls, death is terrifying.
So, allow me to pose a couple of questions for believers in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior: is the cognitive knowledge of your Redeemer's work – past, present and future – translating into heart knowledge? Do you find rest in his promise to never leave nor abandon you no matter what difficult circumstances you undoubtedly face? As we face mortality, there is no doubt that death is very real suffering, being Satan's last attack on God's people. But Jesus has already defeated the Evil One by conquering death, changing the nature of death for the believer, or as Paul puts it, taking out the "sting" of death. Rather than being the beginning of eternal condemnation, for the believer death is the first step into a Rest and Peace that we have just barely tasted in these mortal bodies. This is what Paul means when he says of our current suffering, "For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." Have you met the peace that surpasses all understanding? Are you waiting well on the Father and resting securely in Christ who has already approached the final hour on your behalf? If so, are you being compelled towards a willingness to love others as Jesus first loved you?
I like The Eagles who wrote the song "Peaceful Easy Feeling," but true and lasting peace is much bigger than an easy feeling. Peace is ushered in by the blood of Christ and it's anything but easy and much more than feeling. Peace as a fruit of God's Holy Spirit comes from the Hebrew word shalom which means all things made right again, the way they were meant to be. That is what the good news of Jesus Christ does, it makes all things right again. Learning to believe this reality in new and fresh ways encourages believers in Christ to rest well, or dare I say, rest easy. As we all press on towards death, may we do so with peace and hope in our hearts, because Christ Jesus has already made us his own.
My youngest child will soon be eleven. I remember when he used to look at me and say, "Dad, I want to be big like you." I thought, "Why on earth would this kid want to be big like me when it is so hard the older I get?" But there was a problem with my thinking here: when my young child asked me a question, I only thought in earthly or "horizontal" terms. It wasn't until the Lord allowed me to take these questions "vertically," towards the Spiritual realm, that I could begin to consider them well.
After thoughtful wrestling, here is what I have deduced thus far as I've begun to think vertically about my age. Once, I longed for the youth of my day. Now, I celebrate grey hair as a mark of wisdom's development. If you are fearing death or even nearing it, you have probably spent much more time than I considering this. What have you come up with? Do you bask in his glory as he prepares you for another World? Or do you hold on tightly to things that will pass away? Are your hands and fingers holding on to this "dear life?" Or are you singing "It is well with my soul" in celebration of the new and glorious body you are about to receive?
We've said quite a bit about Peace. Let's finish by talking about Rest. As we are preparing to meet our Maker, how can we possibly rest? After all the bad we have done, and all the good we have left undone? We can only do so through the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Here is how the Gospel works. Quite simply, everything is fulfilled in Jesus. Please do not miss the Word "fulfilled." The hard, difficult, brutal work of redemption was completed not by us, but by him. Redemption comes through his blood and righteousness – not ours. Everything that was required for our salvation, he accomplished already and offers it to us as a gift. We aim to live well, not to achieve this redemption for ourselves, but because it has already been achieved for us and given to us free of charge.
Please hear: this is not a "feel good" piece. No, this is a battle cry to lay down your sword and drop your weapon of offense and armor of defense, and gently embrace his armors of protection for you. He says, "Lay down your sword, little child, and celebrate my crown of glory as a helmet resting on your head, protecting you from the "sting" of death." Your surrender cost you nothing – except your pride – because it cost him everything. The only way to Rest in Peace, both now and forever, is in the saving protection and provision of our Redeemer. So press on toward the Final Hour with hope, my friends.
Building Trust with People Who Break It – David Elston
What is Trust?
Trust is at the heart of all of our relationships, whether human or divine. There is no such thing as a healthy relationship without it. But trust can be hard to define. Its presence or absence is often felt, but rarely considered. So what is trust? Paul Tripp gives us this helpful definition: "Trust is being so convinced that you can rely on the integrity, strength, character, and faithfulness of another that you are willing to place yourself in his or her care."
Four Examples of Broken Trust
Tripp's definition is a great start. But to make it tangible, let's illustrate the definition with four real-world (but fictional) examples of broken trust. Then we'll consider how to mend it in each case.
- Jeffrey, a teenage boy, has been secretly looking at pornography for several years now, and after a recent YoungLife event, he has become deeply convicted about his addiction and decided that it's time to quit. For several months he has been wrestling deeply, but the habit seems as bad as ever. He has not told anyone, worried that his YoungLife leader would find out or, even worse, that his parents would find out – something he is sure his parents would never forgive him for.
- Tom is a pastor at a small Baptist church in a rural town. Over the last twenty years, the church has never had a pastor for more than three years, but Tom has been there for five. The deacons, all life-long members of the church, have not allowed Tom to make any changes to the worship or community life of the church. They require him to submit a monthly log of how his time is spent and regularly question him about the necessity of the books and meals he has expensed. A deacon recently told him, "Your job is to preach, baptize, marry and bury. You leave the rest to us." He is deeply discouraged, seeing so many things in the church that need to change but having no authority to work on them.
- A few years ago Eileen and her husband went out on a date and left their three year old son with a babysitter. While away on the date, her child had an allergic reaction to peanuts (which her husband was supposed to tell the babysitter about) and had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. Eileen's husband did not answer his phone when the babysitter called, so Eileen did not find out until hours later on their way home from their date. Their son was fine, but now, three years later, Eileen has a difficult time leaving her child with anyone but her mother (even her husband). Ever since the allergic reaction, she has wrestled daily with anxiety, and now, the summer before her son enters kindergarten, she has begun having panic attacks.
- Mary committed adultery with her husband's friend twelve years ago, just a year after they had been married. She confessed to her husband, George, after a friend confronted her, deeply ashamed and repentant. Although they were separated for over a year, after several years of marriage counseling, they reconciled. Despite George's clear statements of forgiveness, Mary often worries that her husband still holds her sin against her. In the last year she noticed that he was more withdrawn than usual and has begun regularly and secretly checking his phone calls and text messages, wondering if he is going to retaliate against her with an affair of his own.
The Problem of Trust
In each of these situations, a lack of trust is not the only issue at hand, but it is certainly central. The amount of problems that missing / broken trust can create is incalculable. Here are the problems as seen through the lens of broken trust:
- For Jeffrey, his unwillingness to trust others and allow them to see his addiction – what the Scriptures call "walking in the light" – is keeping his addiction in the dark, a place where growth and change cannot happen. He does not trust that his parents (or YoungLife leader) will remain faithful to him if he reveals his sin.
- Tom is a pastor in a system of leadership (the deacons) that has learned to operate in a vacuum of trust. But it makes sense – why trust a pastor when he's just going to leave for a better job in a few years and hurt their people? Tom has proven that he isn't going anywhere, but their pervasive mistrust of Tom doesn't seem to be going anywhere, and has led him into deep discouragement.
- To Eileen, the night of the allergic reaction showed her that no one could be trusted with her child – not a babysitter, not even her husband. She believes that only she, as the mother, can be trusted. But now this inordinate amount of trust in herself combined with the total lack of trust in others has led to a life dominated by fear and worry.
- Mary does not trust her husband's forgiveness and faithfulness towards her, being haunted by guilt. As a result, ever since the affair, she's been fearfully waiting for her punishment, wondering how and when it will come.
For these four friends, how can trust be built again?
The Beginning of a Solution: Who We Can't Trust
In each situation, trust begins by realizing the truth – that no one on earth is ultimately trustworthy. It's counter-intuitive, but true nonetheless. We believe in the fallenness of all humanity, meaning that people will fail you and let you down. Even Jesus himself, in his earthly ministry "did not entrust himself to them…for he himself knew what was in man" (Jn 2:24). So of course there is a lack of trust in these situations. Why should you trust people who are going to let you down?
So it must begin there, but the fallenness of humanity reaches further – it extends even to you. You will fail your own standards. You will let yourself down. You will break your own promises. All four situations are full of untrustworthy people, that is, people who at some point will break each other's trust. Eileen, for instance, is right to have some measure of concern about others' ability to care wisely for her child. But she is wrong to respond by placing her trust in herself instead. Because Eileen also lacks the wisdom and power to protect her child perfectly from a fallen world!
The True Solution: Who We Can Trust
So then, how do we build trust with untrustworthy people? We must begin with God himself, the only One who is worthy of our trust. You can go anywhere in the Scriptures and see his trustworthiness, but it is proven most clearly at the crucifixion of Jesus Christ. If ever there was a time for Jesus to be unfaithful to his people, it was at the Cross, where we hammered the nails into his body and mocked him as a fraud and a fool, watching him weep and gasp his way to death under the curse of God and hatred of his people. And yet, even then, in our most evil and hateful moment, he chose not to forsake us, but to be forsaken for us.
Do you know anyone else who would still love you even if you nailed them naked to a tree and laughed as you watched them asphyxiate? Do you know anyone who would keep a promise even if it cost them everything they had? We see in Jesus the incarnation of Paul Tripp's definition of trust: a Person whose integrity, strength, character, and faithfulness is so perfect that we can trust him with everything, completely, knowing he will not disappoint us.
Trusting God As a Way of Trusting People
So what does that mean for our four friends? First, they must trust the God of the Cross. And only then will they be able to build trust with other people in a way that is appropriate and wise:
- Jeffrey must trust in the unwavering faithfulness of God towards unfaithful sinners like him. Only then can he trust his parents enough to confess his sin to them, because even if they falter in their faithfulness to him, it will not be devastating, since he has a God who will never abandon him.
- Tom's deacons must trust in the strength and integrity of the God who has promised to build his church and advance his kingdom. Trusting an infallible God first, they can trust fallible Tom as their pastor, knowing that even if Tom's strength fails (it will at times) or his character has some holes (it does), there is a sovereign and mighty God still at work, who cares far more about the church than even they do.
- Eileen must trust in the character (goodness, wisdom, and love) of God. She must consider the nail-scarred Hands that hold her daughter and guide every day of her life, trusting that whatever happens goes through the filter of his faithful love. Then she can begin to trust her daughter in the hands of imperfect people, and find peace for herself.
- Mary must trust in the forgiveness of God. Her lack of trust in her husband's forgiveness is a reflection of her lack of trust in God's. She thinks her sin is too great to be forgiven, but she has not considered how great of a cost was paid to purchase that forgiveness. Only as she trusts God's promise that he does not condemn her will she begin to trust her husband's promise of forgiveness. Then she can begin to be motivated by grace rather than guilt, by love rather than fear.
"I Know I Should But I Can't"
One last comment by way of conclusion. Trust is not easy. Our fears are often large and loud in our lives, and it can be hard to hear the whisper of God's faithfulness. What do we do when we know we ought to trust God, but we simply can't? How do we make ourselves trust him?
Two things. First, pray what someone once said to Jesus in his ministry, "I believe, help my unbelief!" God loves to answer that prayer. And second, behold Him. Don't look at yourself. Don't look at the person who has broken your trust. Look at Him. Look at how trustworthy he proves himself to be in the Scriptures. See his faithfulness to unfaithful people in biblical history. Listen to your pastor as he preaches about the promises of God and their fulfillment in Christ. Look at Him for a month, and then take a quick look at your trust. You will find that your trust has grown as you were beholding our trustworthy God.
A Dinner Table Discussion on Repentance – Chase Maxey
Not long ago after an apology to my family we had a discussion over dinner about confession and repentance – not the ordinary dinner table topic at our house! But I'm very thankful for the redemptive opportunity. We spoke about how you must separate these two pillars of faith (confession and repentance) in order to understand how they are united in Christ.
We went around the table and let everyone have their voices heard and when finished we came away needing a bit more theology. My wife and I decided to model confession and repentance for our three children. Everyone agreed that I was quick to confess sin or wrongs and Martha was quick to change behavior. But, is repentance changing behavior only? Or is repentance confessing only?
Confession for whatever reason is easier for me and more of a challenge for my wife. But behavior change? That is much harder for me, but my wife can change behavior on a dime! It's very impressive. If Martha feels out of shape, it's very easy for her to transform her diet and add in regular exercise. But she doesn't want to talk or think about the heart transformation (e.g. body as a temple, glory of God) that ought to undergird that behavior change. On the other hand, let's say I have a problem with being messy (I do). I am quick to confess it as a problem, say I'm sorry, and think through why my car, desk, or bedroom is messy. But I am very slow to change my behavior and pick up the mess!
This also affects how we parent. If our kids have a messy room, Martha doesn't want to know why it's messy and doesn't see a need to talk about it with the kids. The room needs to be cleaned – end of story. In other words, she wants behavior change. But I want to talk to my kids about why they keep leaving their rooms a wreck and why it's a problem. In other words, I'm looking for confession and a change of heart. But sometimes it takes a long time to get to the behavior change, especially when I'm not Mr. Clean!
Back to our discussion around the table, my oldest daughter asked, "But Dad, is it true repentance without a change in behavior?" I explained, "Well, honey, yes and no. True repentance begins in the heart, before any behavior change happens. But if it is true repentance it will produce a changed life over time." Since no one can see someone's heart besides God's Holy Spirit, we must give grace to the struggler even when we do not see the change that we believe needs to happen now! I explained further, "Your Mom may not confess as quickly as your Dad, but she is wonderful at changing behavior, which is great! But me? I may be quick to confess, but I long for a heart change often before my behavior changes."
So what is true repentance? It takes both Martha and I together to model it well. True Repentance includes both confession of sin and change in behavior, but most importantly it's a change of heart that produces Christ-like behavior over time.
A Call for Church Leaders to Re-Up – Chase Maxey
Last month we introduced the idea of the need to RE-UP, or in other words, the need to renew your invitation to trusted friends and brothers to speak openly into your life. We were never meant to live the Christian life on our own. Hebrews 3:13 tells us why it is so important to RE-UP with one another: "But exhort one another every day, as long as it is called "today," that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin." In other words, sin is deceitful and blinding by nature, so we need other people to lovingly point out where we have been deceived and blinded.
For church leaders this is especially important. As we begin, it's important to define the true nature of an elder's qualifications. Church leaders are called to be examples to their flock (1 Peter 5:3) and are required to be "above reproach" (1 Timothy 3:2). In thinking about these qualifications and others like them, it's important that we interpret them using the lens of the gospel. When Peter says, for example, that elders should be examples to their flock, it does not mean they must never sin. But it does mean when they sin, they should be examples of repentant faith. When Paul says that elders should manage their household well, it does not mean that someone is disqualified or unworthy as an elder simply because he lost his temper at his children. But it does mean that the elder should lead his family in confession of sin and repentance when he does lose his temper. So the goal is not being a model of moral perfection, but a model of repentance; not an example in strength but an example in humility and awareness of personal sin and of grace.
Understanding the nature of these qualifications encourages leaders to invite others to speak into their lives. It encourages leaders because it means their calling is not at risk when someone sees their sin and weakness. It's also a helpful reminder that leaders are just like the sheep they are leading, but called to a different position. The leader-sheep needs the same thing the follower-sheep needs. How will they be Christ-like examples if they don't have someone helping them see where they aren't living like Christ? And how can they be "above reproach" if they don't have someone who knows their weakness and temptations and can wisely encourage them? So church leaders must RE-UP with one another regularly, renewing the invitation to others for help living as leaders.
If you are a ministry leader and have no one who truly knows you, ask yourself, "Why?" For pastors, is it a fear of job security? For elders, is it credibility among the flock? Remember, God's qualification for an elder is not perfection, but humility born out of the gospel. Or does no one know you because you feel the need to protect your image among those you lead? There may be some wisdom there, but your sheep also may need to see a flaw or two so that they not mistake you for the Good Shepherd himself. Is it pride that keeps you from letting in your closest friends on your sin and weakness? There is no need to tell everyone everything about you, but there should be at least three people who know everything: your wife, a trusted elder, and a wise objective mentor outside of your local church.
The gospel simplifies the complexities of life. It is a simple thing to invite someone to speak openly into your life, but make no mistake, it is no easy task! It takes courage and humility, so if you have been invited, please don't pass on the opportunity to speak the Truth with Love. This is a special gift of kingdom relationship. And when it comes time to speak, make sure your friend knows that you love them in Christ, and make sure that the invitation still stands (hence the need for the RE-UP). Also make sure your heart is in the right place – free of judgment, wanting the best for the person and for the kingdom. Above all, as you speak, remember that Truth and Love must go together, for as our brother Warren Wiersbe says, "truth without love is brutality, and love without truth is hypocrisy."
Judge, Father, or Husband? – David Elston
When you sin, what does God think? When you blow it, how does he see you? How does he respond?
We cannot answer these questions based on feelings, for as 1 John says our hearts will often condemn us when the Bible says otherwise. So setting aside our own feelings of guilt and shame for a moment, how do the Scriptures describe the way God responds to us in our sin?
Often the Bible gives us metaphors to understand the way God relates to us. He paints vivid pictures of things that are common and familiar to us to help us understand things that are otherwise unknown and intangible to us, finite creatures. So what metaphors do the Scriptures use for the way God relates to us in our sin? There are plenty to choose from. For those who are not part of God's people, the language of the courtroom is used, with God as Judge and the sinner as law-breaker. But for those who believe in Christ and have been pardoned and justified, the metaphor of Judge no longer applies. I repeat, for the Christian, the metaphors of Judge and law-breaker no longer apply, since Christ was condemned for us, and we have been acquitted and justified by his righteousness.
The gospel changes the metaphor into something radically different. For one, it becomes familial, that of Father and child. This language clearly grows out of our adoption in Christ as sons and daughters. So, using these terms, how does he relate to us when we sin as children? As a loving Father, he disciplines the children he loves, out of concern for their well-being and maturity. Some of the most moving language of God's relation to our sin is put in these terms. Hosea 11 envisions God as Father teaching us to walk as an infant, but then goes on to say that we use those legs to run away from him. Proverbs 3 speaks of God as a Father who disciplines us, but encourages us that his discipline is not proof of our rejection, but proof of his delight and of our legitimacy as sons and daughters. And how can we forget Jesus' parable of the Prodigal Son, where the Father graciously runs to and embraces his child "who was lost and now is found?"
But that is not the only metaphor the Bible uses to describe the way God relates to us as sinners, nor is it meant to be, for metaphors are always imperfect and incomplete when applied to a holy God. The Bible also uses another kind of language to speak from a different angle about God's relation to us in our sin: the language of marriage.
Using the marital metaphor, God is Husband and his people are his bride. Even though we commonly hear this language from the pulpit and from the wedding altar, it is rarely applied to the relationship of God to his people when they sin. But the Scriptures do so frequently. So then, if God disciplines his children when they sin, what does he do when his bride sins against him? He jealously pursues her.
Perhaps this metaphor is not often used in this way because it has the possibility of making God look weak and needy. But God does not jealously pursue us because he needs us, but because he wants us. He is not trying to fill up a hole in his heart, but a hole in ours. And ultimately, it is his jealousy for seeing his glory displayed through his bride that propels him towards us. Still, the truth remains that God jealously pursues his people when they sin, like a husband pursues his wife whose heart is wandering away from him.
The Old Testament has an entire book on the subject: Hosea. As a whole, Hosea shows us that our sin is not simply the breaking of a Judge's law, but the breaking of a Husband's heart. In other words, our sin is far more personal in nature than the breaking of a law, which is why Hosea uses the metaphor of spiritual "adultery" rather than idolatry. Idolatry can be an elusive concept, being spiritual in nature, so God puts it in language we can understand: adultery.
Hosea displays God's jealous pursuit of us through the prophet Hosea's jealous pursuit of his wife Gomer, who is living with another lover. She clearly broke the marriage covenant. She has personally hurt Hosea and has publically humiliated him. And yet God says this to him, "Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the Lord loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods" (3:1). We see here not only the personal nature of our sin, but the personal nature of his grace. God is more than a Law-giver pardoning a criminal. He is even more than a Father disciplining a child. He is a Husband in pursuit of his bride, graciously calling her away from her lover's arms. He is a Husband who pays whatever cost is necessary to buy back his wife from the brothel where her false lover has left her (3:2).
So what are the implications of this marital metaphor for us today? In adding this new language of husband and wife, we are rescued from some of the misunderstandings other imperfect metaphors might lead to, misunderstandings that strike at the heart of what we believe. I'll give two examples.
First, ask yourself, "What is the purpose of the gospel?" Thinking in terms of Judge / law-breaker, we might think that the main purpose of the gospel is simply a cleansing of the guilty conscience, a "second chance" at life, or a means of keeping us from eternal punishment. But what is missing from that? God! Using the Husband / wife metaphor, the purpose of the gospel is that it restores you to your Husband! In other words, the point of the gospel is not simply the benefits of a clean conscience or a hopeful outlook on the future; the point is that it brings you to God and God to you!
John Piper, in his book God is the Gospel, gives the analogy of a husband who has made his wife angry. She has her back turned to him, hurt, distant. In that situation, what is the point of seeking forgiveness? Not so that the husband can feel better about what he did wrong. No! The man wants his wife's forgiveness because he wants his wife back! He wants to see her face, talk to her, hold her. God's purpose in forgiving us is the same: it's not so that we feel better about our sin, it's so that there is no longer anything separating us from knowing one another. Do you see how this metaphor makes the gospel more about Him, rather than only about us?
Likewise, ask yourself, "Why does God want us to be holy?" Using the Father / child metaphor, you may answer that our holiness is a way of honoring our Father whom we trust (which is right and good!). But unfortunately it is more often misunderstood as the exasperating demand of a Father whose love depends on our perfection. Protecting us from such a misunderstanding, in the Husband / wife metaphor, God calls us to holiness because he wants our hearts. He doesn't just want your obedience, he wants you! And so our turning towards him in repentance becomes a way of expressing our heart's desire for Him more than earthly treasures. Obedience becomes a way of showing our love for him, not a way of earning his love.
So in sum, as you find yourself aimlessly wandering away from God to false loves, remember God is not only the Father who lovingly disciplines you, but the Husband who jealously pursues you, saying, "Come back to me, my beloved. Come back to me." In response, say with your repentance, "I'm on my way." And say with your obedience, "There's nothing on earth I desire but You." In other words, respond to his grace, not by giving him reluctant obedience, but by giving him yourself.
The Re-Up: Renewing Your Invitation to Speak Openly – Chase Maxey
Recently I spoke with a wise friend. I am thankful to have wise friends. I wanted to make sure this dear friend knew that he had not only earned the right to speak into my sinful heart, but I wanted him to know that I invited him to do so. He assured me that he had heard me invite him in, and also said thank you for the RE-UP on his invitation. Why did he say thank you for the RE-UP? He said it because he was grateful for the renewed permission to speak into my life. Have you RE-established, or RE-UPPED, your invitation to have your closest companions speak into your life?
First, make sure your closest confidants know they are invited and then continue to invite these people to speak the truth in love as your relationship develops. For example, if you are married, you should RE-UP with your spouse often. After 10 years of counseling ministry, there is clearly one problem that continuously gets in the way of relationships growing in grace: Thinking we know the other person. Thinking we know anyone, especially our spouse, is trouble. Ultimately, what are we communicating if we have someone "figured out?" One thing it communicates, and that our spouse hears clearly, is that the past is the indicator for future results. But where in that is the hope in the Lord's power to change our spouse? Another thing it communicates is an abdication of our duty to be one of the Lord's instruments in helping our spouse change. Allow me to walk this out in a real-life example.
I once met with a couple that had been married for nearly 50 years. We'll call them Jon and Jan Jones. After building trust in relationship for some time together, I was invited to speak into their marriage. I posed this question: Are you still getting to know one another? They both audibly laughed at me. Longing to be in on the humor, I asked, what is so funny?! "We appreciate what you are trying to do young man, but we've been married longer than you have been alive!" Since I couldn't argue this point, I agreed, and the Joneses attempted to RE-assure me that they already knew each other and desired to 'move along' in the counseling process. "Chase, get to something really helpful, please. Didn't you hear us? My wife is mad at me ALL the time, and she nags me for checking out after getting home from such a difficult day at work. I'd like to see her work 10 hour days at 70 years old!" "Jon, I'll bet I would get a lot more attention if my name were Budweiser or I was star in your favorite TV program!" I continued to ask many different questions, but the same theme continued to emerge. They were both convinced they knew each other, and if their spouse would hurry up and change, they could finally be happy.
Praise the Lord, Jon and Jan were still asking for help after 50 years of marriage and through the power and work of God's Holy Spirit they were able to recognize that what they were doing was not working. They were attempting to change one another. Over time, we helped show the Joneses where they were asking for help and where they were assuming they had their spouse and their problems figured out. Obviously, trying to play the Holy Spirit by searching motives and changing behavior in our spouse does not go well.
Neither person knew how to help the other. They had stopped getting to know one another and certainly were not looking for the other to speak into their life. How could this marriage move towards Oneness without such help from one another? Thankfully the Joneses called after about one month to report their marriage was moving in a different direction. They celebrated with me. "Young man, we realized that we actually have not been 'getting to know one another,' so we've been working on learning about the other person." Imagine that, after fifty years of marriage, the Joneses continue to grow in getting to know one another. It's only when they committed to getting to know one another better rather than changing one another that they became truly helpful.
For those of you who are getting along or having slight disagreements in marriage, please let your spouse know that not only do they have permission, but you are inviting your husband or wife to speak directly in your life. If you are able to invite such directness, then you truly believe your spouse loves you. If you are growing a Kingdom-minded understanding of what Love truly is, you believe that your spouse has your interests above his or her own. Invite your spouse to speak the truth in love directly into your life today and remember to RE-UP as the years roll by and life continues to change. Without a doubt, your marriage will benefit as you continue to learn about your spouse.
Redeemed Wounds – David Elston
We often speak of heaven as a place where our earthly suffering will end. And what a wonderful truth! No more dementia, no more cancer, no more broken relationships! Even better, no more of the thing which casts a shadow over every living creature on this fallen planet – death.
But there is even more wonder to it than that. In the new heavens and earth, our suffering on this side of eternity will not simply end, but it will be redeemed! It will be transformed! And the proof of that is the resurrection, where Jesus' suffering did not simply come to an end, but was transformed into something good, even wonderful – the good news of salvation for all who believe. So as we live on this side of eternity, in which our bodies get sick and our minds break down and our souls are troubled, we can be sure that this suffering will not only come to an end, but will be redeemed in ways we cannot now imagine.
You can see this in Thomas' experience after the resurrection. Thomas, the only disciple who hadn't seen the resurrected Christ, said to the other disciples, "Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe." In other words, "Prove it!" Thomas wanted undeniable proof. He could not comprehend how something as terrible as the crucifixion of Jesus – his Master, Friend, and Messiah – could actually be transformed into good news, as the other disciples were now claiming.
Eight days went by until Christ appeared again to the disciples, this time specifically to speak to the doubting Thomas. Knowing his request for proof, Jesus gives him exactly what he asks for. "Come, Thomas, see the wounds? Touch the holes from the nails, place your hand where the spear entered." Thomas, of course, didn't need to touch and feel. He fell on his face and cried in confession, "My Lord and my God!"
There is much in this story worthy of note, but perhaps the most unique thing about this scene is not so much to do with Thomas, but with the resurrected body of Jesus. The holes from the nails remained. The gash from the entrance of the spear remained. Isn't that strange? You'd expect the resurrection body to be wholly unblemished and restored. So why is it that these wounds remain, wounds that are so reminiscent of the old life?
You might think it is something unique to Christ himself, but the resurrected body of Christ is meant to be the basis of our hope, the promise of the resurrected body we will receive, or as Paul puts it, the first-fruits of the rest of the crop. So we must ask: will our heavenly bodies be like Jesus', having all the scars, and imperfections of this life? Even more, will our new minds and hearts still carry the wounds and grief of this life? In one sense, absolutely not. In another sense, yes, indeed.
Scripture sometimes refers to our present life in the body as a seed that must be buried in death (see 1 Cor 15, John 12:24). When the resurrection comes, everything that was invested in seed form will come to fruition. In the case of Christ, he sowed his crucifixion and reaped salvation for his people and glory for himself. The marks of the nails are no longer a cause for pain but joy. So the resurrection gives profound meaning and purpose to the lives we live in the present, since everything we do is a part of that seed that will come to fruition in the new creation. This is why David said in Psalm 56, "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" David is trusting that God is taking account of his suffering so that one day He may redeem it – not simply ending it, but transforming it into good.
You probably cannot envision it now – how your cancer, your spouse's dementia, your parent's grief could be transformed into something good. But who would imagine, looking at an acorn, that it will one day be a giant oak tree? Likewise, who would have imagined that the disciples would, just three days after the crucifixion of Jesus, refer to his death as good news? The point is not for you to figure out how God will redeem your wounds, but to trust that he will, just as he did the wounds of his Son; and in that trust, that you find hope and courage to press on in the midst of this fallen world.
7 Tips for Biblical New Year's Resolutions – David Elston
New Year's Resolutions. What do you think – are they helpful? Biblical? Like much of life, it depends. As you consider making your New Year's Resolutions over the next few days, here are seven pieces of wisdom from God's Word to help you think and plan biblically for 2018:
1. Connect what you resolve to do to what He has already done. For example:
- "I want to work out three times per week because my body is a temple of the Lord and was bought by him with a price" (1 Cor 6:19-20).
2. Don't do it alone. Tell a trusted friend or two about your resolutions and ask them to hold you accountable and pray for you.
- "Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up! Again, if two lie together, they keep warm, but how can one keep warm alone? And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand him—a threefold cord is not quickly broken" (Eccl 4:9-12).
3. You need the power of the Holy Spirit to follow through with these resolutions. Pray for strength and then trust that God will empower you (if your goals honor him).
- "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting…" (James 1:5-6; see also John 15:5).
4. Make goals that are not centered only on yourself, but on your marriage, family, and community.
- "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Phil 2:3-4).
5. Work from your salvation, not for it! Your completion or failure of these resolutions changes nothing about your standing before God, which is based on Christ's righteousness, not yours.
- "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ…in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith" (Phil 3:7-9).
6. Make growth and change your aim, not perfection! Like Martin Luther said, "This life therefore is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness; not health, but healing; not being, but becoming; not rest, but exercise."
- "And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit" (2 Cor 3:18).
7. A thinner waistline, less anxiety, better organization – these are all good and worthy goals. But as you pursue and accomplish these things, keep in mind that your ultimate goal in this life is to glorify God. So think of your list of resolutions (get healthy, organized, etc) as a list of ways to honor Christ in the coming year.
- "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God" (1 Cor 10:31).
If in any of these things you need help from us at BCTM, we'd be glad to walk alongside you. May the Lord breathe life into our plans of clay in 2018!
Church Partner/Biblical Counselor Endorsements
"I am so grateful that I now have a trusted partner in ministry through BCTM. God has graciously provided biblically-trained counselors that care for our members in the same way I would – and deliver the same gospel-centered message that I preach from the pulpit." – Reverend Carl Kalbercamp, Jr., Senior Pastor, Pear Orchard Presbyterian Church
"In my opinion, BCTM is an excellent extension of the pastoral arm in the local church that we're not adequately equipped to provide. We are humbled and grateful to have them alongside us in our effort to counsel and love Christ's Church with biblical instruction and grace." – Randy Rhea, Senior Pastor, Madison Heights Church
"I am so thankful the Lord led David Elston to bring BCTM to Shreveport. They will be a tremendous biblical counseling resource for our churches and our community." – J. Tracy Graham, Senior Pastor, Norris Ferry Community Church
"We are excited to partner with BCTM to see lives restored through the gospel in the context of the local church." – Kevin Shoemaker, Pastor, Redeemer Church, Starkville MS
"Having known Chase Maxey for years, I consider him a close friend, a co-laborer in biblical counseling, and a dear brother in Christ. As colleagues at CCEF, I saw the Lord grow Chase's passion for loving people well in this fallen world. My soul is deeply encouraged by how our Father is graciously using Biblical Counseling & Training Ministries (BCTM) to further His kingdom by pointing hurting people to Christ – the only Hope for our weary souls." – -Dr. Tim Lane, Founder and President of the Institute for Pastoral Care and Tim Lane & Associates; Author of Living Without Worry: How to Replace Anxiety with Peace; Co-author of How People Change and Relationships: A Mess Worth Making.
"The ministry of BCTM is a true partnership with the local church. Their biblical, gospel-centered approach to counseling has been a vital part of discipleship in our own local church context." – Miles Van Pelt, Elder, Grace Reformed Church; Professor of Old Testament and Biblical Languages, RTS Jackson
"As we considered biblical counseling resources for our church body, we were compelled by BCTM's view of the local church, vision for Mississippi and by multiple positive references. We are enthusiastic about supporting BCTM as they help us meet an important need in our area." – Bill Heard, Pastor, Grace Presbyterian Church, Starkville, MS
Counselee Endorsements
"Chase Maxey is a true friend and I am very grateful for his words of truth and encouragement that led me to begin living a Christ-centered life. He revealed to me the gift of grace given to me by God and allowed me to see that I was able to give grace to the ones I loved after I began to receive grace. I was on the verge of ruining my marriage and had been living very selfishly. I thank Chase sincerely for all the words of truth wrapped with scripture. His guidance, patience, and encouragement were and continue to be greatly appreciated. The times spent together renewed my faith and the Holy Spirit filled me more and more as we worked through each meeting. I believe that times spent at BCTM with Chase Maxey truly helped me to see clearly the love of Christ which saved my marriage and lead me to start living a Christ-centered life. Thank you!"- Counselee, Home Office
"Chase Maxey and BCTM helped give us a reference point for beginning a marriage. They affirmed our belief that Christ is the foundation of marriage, and that we should always try our best to put Christ before each other in every circumstance." – Counselee, Home Office
"BCTM has been a huge help to me as someone who has struggled with anxiety and pornography for a number of years. From the very first time we met up in his office, David maintained a very 'person to person' as opposed to 'doctor to patient' dialogue, and it was obvious that he genuinely cared about me as an individual. The counseling is solidly Gospel-centered, and the discussions across our meetings definitely reflected this. David was also willing to work with my pastor, and because of this, I received support from that end as well. BCTM has been a huge help with guiding and bringing the Gospel to bear on difficult areas of my life, and I recommend them to anyone who needs counseling or guidance." – Counselee, Shreveport Office
"I was depressed, and I felt trapped. I just couldn't see a way out of the foxhole. David Elston counseled me with godly questions I couldn't have imagined to ask myself. It shifted my thinking closer to Christ and away from anger and self-doubt. He used the Bible to point me towards a meaningful path. By God's power and wisdom, David led me from a broken mind so that I could find healing in Jesus." – Counselee, Shreveport Office
"The counseling group has always been so helpful and encouraging, and I feel like I got to know people on a much more realistic level. Life is just hard and sometimes we go through seasons of needing more prayer and encouragement." – Counseling Group Participant, Home Office
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Heavyweight investor says 'too much money' thrown at tech
One of Britain's most high-profile investors has expressed concerns about "too much money being chucked" at tech businesses in the UK.
Jon Moulton, best known for his successes with household names like jewellery chain Goldsmiths and Parker Pens, founded Better Capital in 2012 after leaving his previous venture Alchemy Partners.
Moulton has also been an active tech investor over the last three decades, having backed peer-to-peer lending marketplace Funding Circle "very early on", and estimates that around 50 of his 120 current investments have a link to technology.
However speaking to BusinessCloud at an investment roundtable in London organised by the Lancashire Investment Readiness Programme, the 67-year-old said the return on investment in technology is is relatively "poor", particularly in the UK, and fears that it could become worse.
"Too much money and too few deals is something that worries me – and I see more and more money being chucked at it," he said.
"The historic returns in tech investing in the UK are probably single digit – even low single digit on average. As you stick more and more money in, unless you actually generate more deals to consume that money, the returns will inevitably get worse.
"I see things like EIS, SEIS, ECT and Patient Capital initiatives as actually threatening there, because if you put in money that doesn't need a return, doesn't want a return then you'll actually put good assets and good people into crap businesses – and that's bad for the economy and bad for the investor."
Moulton also raised concerns about the number of unrealistic valuations in the technology sector.
"I've literally read seven business plans this morning; five of them I disposed of within a minute because of ludicrous pricing," he said.
"Occasionally I will be wrong because sometimes tech companies really do hit gold but most of the time I'll be fine passing on stuff that looks to be 10 times the valuation it should be."
Although Moulton has enjoyed an enormously successful investment career, he admits he's "had failures all over the place".
"The biggest failure was probably Newbridge Networks," he said. "I made four-and-a-half times my money in three years but if I'd just waited another year it would have been 72 times the money.
"I've had some huge successes, some spectacular failures and a lot of fun."
Other speakers on roundtable included Norman Molyneux, chief Executive, Acceleris Capital; Peter Leather, head of IP & Commercialisation, UCLan and programme director of the Lancashire Investment Readiness Programme; and Rohit Mateur, senior vice president venture capital, Barclays.

subset: commoncrawl


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SCORES & OUTDOORS: Fear strikes out
by Roland D. Hallee
Back around 1954, when I was seven years old, I became aware of a game called baseball. I loved it. I grew up in an era where I watched some of the greatest baseball players in history: Mickey Mantle, Yogi Berra, Hank Aaron, Ted Williams, Sandy Koufax, Willie Mays, etc. The list goes on.
I watched on television when Roger Maris hit his 61st home run of the season in 1961, at Yankee Stadium against Red Sox pitcher Tracy Stallard, breaking Babe Ruth's legendary record; I was at Fenway Park when Detroit's Jim Bunning pitched a no-hitter against the Red Sox; I was also at Fenway Park when Ted Williams hit his 521st, and last home run in his final at-bat before retirement in 1962. I've seen many games, watched many players who are now enshrined in the Baseball Hall of Fame.
But, my two main idols in those formative years were Red Sox third baseman Frank Malzone, whom I think I gravitated to because that was the position I played in Little League, high school, and during my softball playing days. But my favorite in the 1950s and early 1960s, was Red Sox centerfielder Jim Piersall.
What brings this up is that Piersall passed away on June 3, at the age of 87. But the story doesn't end there.
Back in the early 1990s, a friend of mine was in the business of promoting sports memorabilia shows in Augusta. My job was to drive to Portland and rendezvous with professional athletes with whom he had contracted to come to the shows for autograph sessions. Among the many I drove from Portland to Augusta and back were former Red Sox stars Jody Reed, George Scott, Jim Rice, Jim Lonborg, Bill "The Spaceman" Lee, etc.; New England Patriots linebacker Steve Nelson; Celtics star Robert Parrish and Bruins players Cam Neely, Bobby Carpenter, Ken Hodge, just to name a few.
Well, one day, my buddy says to me, "I'm putting on a show next week, and I need you to go to Portland and pick up George Foster and Jim Piersall."
I couldn't believe what I'd just heard. A week later, I was driving a car to Augusta with Jim Piersall sitting in the back seat. I was hoping he would sit next to me up front, but Foster claimed that spot. My conversation with Foster is a story for another day. But Piersall did not disappoint me in his storytelling.
Unfortunately, Piersall suffered from bipolar disorder during his playing days, in a time when the disease was not fully understood (early in his career he was diagnosed with "nervous exhaustion" and spent seven weeks in a mental facility in Massachusetts), and everyone said he was crazy. The film Fear Strikes Out, starring Anthony Perkins as Piersall, was the story of Piersall's 17-year major league career and the mental challenges he faced.
But that day, in the car, on our round trip from the airport to the Augusta Civic Center, he displayed no signs of the disorder. Most of his topics were up and coming players at the time and some banter with Foster, who was a feared slugger who played in the National League for the Cincinnati Reds' "Big Red Machine" in the 1970s. He once held the National League record for most home runs in a season with 52.
Piersall's stories are legendary. He once stepped up to bat wearing a Beatles wig and playing "air guitar" with his bat; led cheers for himself in the outfield during breaks, and "talked" to Babe Ruth behind the centerfield monuments at Yankee Stadium. In 1963, while playing with the New York Mets, he hit the 100th home run of his career and ran around the bases backwards.
He was ejected from the game a countless number of times for the shenanigans he performed on the field.
In his autobiography, Piersall commented, "Probably the best thing that ever happened to me was going nuts. Whoever heard of Jim Piersall, until that happened?"
The list of his antics are endless, but one memorable one was when he was ejected from a game, while playing for the Cleveland Indians, for running back and forth in the outfield, waiving his arms frantically, trying to distract Ted Williams during an at bat.
He heckled umpires, threw baseballs at scoreboards, and charged the mound when hit by a pitch.
He was a colorful character that is missing from the game today. When Jim Piersall stepped on a baseball field, you never knew what was going to happen.
But with all these incidents, playing for five different teams, Piersall was inducted into the Red Sox Hall of Fame on September 17, 2010.
To this day, I really can't explain why I idolized that baseball player.
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Tailwind Endurance Fuel (Stickpack)
Product ID : Tail1
Price: £2.10
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Tailwind stick packs are an ideal way to test Tailwind and perfect for fuelling on the go. Just tear and pour into a water bottle for 200 calories of Tailwind goodness, no mess, no fuss.
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.@QuickBooks Online Modernizes Excel Exports by @excelwriter
QuickBooks Online Modernizes Excel ImportsUntil recently, QuickBooks Online users have been relegated to using an out-of-date document format when exporting reports to Excel. An April 2015 update to the product now enables QuickBooks Online users to export reports to the modern XLSX format instead of the obsolete XLS format. The distinction between these formats may appear subtle, but if […] The post QuickBooks Online Modernizes Excel Imports appeared first on Sleeter Report — QuickBooks and Beyond .


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8-24-14: The Fate Of Dreamershttp://soundcloud.com/ncclaguna/8-24-14-the-fate-of-dreamers
Scripture: Genesis 37:1-28
Even in the midst of our failings, God can turn human weakness into acts of deliverance. Genesis 37 begins the story of Joseph's sale into slavery by his brothers. Already hated for being father's favorite and a bit of a dreamer, Joseph angers his older brothers by telling them about his dreams—dreams where they bow down before him. In response, Joseph's brothers sell him to some slave traders heading to Egypt. So begins a narrative wherein Joseph rises from the ranks of a slave to great power in Pharaoh's court and is in a position to save the whole region from famine, but that is part 2 of our story. See you Sunday.
See you Sunday.
Yours on the journey,Pastor B.J.


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(6th Post on GRIT)
Pete Carroll is literally the poster boy for Mindfulness in that he's been on the cover of Mindful magazine. And the chapter, A Culture of GRIT begins with Pete Carroll. So here is what Pete Carroll has to say about GRIT.
"I will tell you that we're looking for great competitors. That's really where it starts. And that's the guys who really have grit. The mindset that they're always going to succeed, that they've got something to prove. They're resilient, they're not going not going to let setbacks hold them back. They not going to be deterred, you know by challenges and hurdles and things…It's that attitude—we refer to it as grit"
HM's initial response, is that whether GRIT is appropriate depends upon an organization. A team, where people actually try out for the team is a good candidate. And there are organizations like West Point, where the value of GRIT is quite evident. However, GRIT is not appropriate for all organizations and cultures. And there are likely size constraints that are yet to be defined. One can always look for GRIT when hiring, but there probably are other factors to consider as well.
© Douglas Griffith and healthymemory.wordpress.com, 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Douglas Griffith and healthymemory.wordpress.com with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Tags: Mindful Magazine, Pete Carroll, teams, West Point


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Profiles aren't composed just for vitae. If you're a pupil who's creating a profile article then you. If you're a student who's writing a profile essay subsequently you.A profile essay is that which provides the subscriber information which will be objective in addition to opinionated. Profile article on some one. The last product of the custom writing assignment is truly a work profile composition on a. A account story is really a portrait of somebody in phrases. With this special composition, you are going to compose a Profile of somebody or even a place (or perhaps a man and area ).
Occasionally you may get this in bookstores but i??d recommend merely ordering it online at.
You may well be attempting to compose a satisfying, insightful account for a. determine the man or woman viewing your profile considerably. Fund-raising factor letter is surely an essential item of correspondence which may considerably help a business that's seeking financial support or perhaps a man on line composition creating classes. Only then may the author have the capability to do absolute justice to it. One specific frequent error that numerous women and men do while writing it, is producing an general statement about what they're actually going to compose within the article. For all the authors and imaginative individuals Profile documents may be created about somebody, occasion, state or anything of your selection Put simply, your thesis statement shouldn't present a stance which everyone agrees upon. Just like with any essay, step one in writing a profile document is always to select a subject.
Putting together a dissertation is really an evidence of readiness and information.
When it's lame or ordinary, folks are inclined to skip the details offered farther within the account. It will present this problem of your own papers and also earn a comment about your own stance concerning the theme. Profile essay composing will not always need to be about somebody, both. It is a unusual artwork. Writing is a kind of appearance that can not be educated or learned. Composing an autobiography is a massive job. In case your articles or essays are on the internet name performs a principal component in the complete happening. Writing a write up should, above all be a satisfying experience for the individual writing it.
Do not worry about arrangement! we will take care of it.
Your essay needs to be up to-date with all the reality, significantly the efficiency numbers of the players. The trick to creating a superb autobiographical article would be to let your thoughts flow in place of established them in a fixed structure. Here are a couple of pointers on how better to compose an expert biography. Additional, let us take a try the approaches you've got to take when writing different types of articles. Your article needs to be personal enough which you can compose an emotionally charged story, as the universal subject has to be certain it stays wide enough to include because many readers as possible. On the opposite hand, the collection of subjects for an essay is the simplest as there are actually no limits to what an essay subject must be. The examples provided here can help you create a fantastic autobiographical composition. Just be sure that the composition will not seem only factual.
Job two: 1000-1500 words produce a ficto- text about the topic 'feeling faces'.
They will allow you to get what an essay just the greatest means to handle it and is. Believe this is the greatest essay I Have ever read. Dont change within the very same essays. Your thesis statement should advise your audience exactly what the paper is all about, as well as aid guide your writing. This must be avoided as the article need to be depending on the discussion mentioned in the dissertation statement. An excellent name sums up just what the essay is about.'s a decent essay, but the one issue I see with itis it's very motto.


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Title 4
Article 1 – General Provisions
4.12 Authorization to Sign Vouchers
4.16 Segregation of Values for Taxes
4.20 Bond and Obligation Registration
Article 2 – Taxes
4.28 Additional Sales or Use Tax
4.32 Additional Sales and Use Tax – Detention and Correction Facilities
4.33 Additional Sales and Use Tax for Mental Health, Chemical Dependency and/or Therapeutic Court Programs and Services
4.35 Additional Sales and Use Tax for Affordable and Supportive Housing
4.44 Emergency Services Communication System Excise Tax
4.48 Criminal Justice Sales Tax
4.52 Real Estate Sales Excise Tax – In-County Property
4.56 Real Estate Sales Excise Tax – Unincorporated Areas
4.60 Additional Real Estate Excise Tax
4.68 Timber Harvester Excise Tax
Article 3 – Funds
4.72 Advance Travel Revolving Fund
4.76 Antiprofiteering Revolving Fund
4.92 Prosecuting Attorney's Victim/Witness Fund
4.96 Road Improvement Guaranty Fund
Article 4 – Fees
4.104 Suspense Fund for Open Space Fees
Article 5 – County Contracts
Article 6 – Court Fees
4.126 Juvenile Diversion Services Fees
4.128 Superior Court Clerk Fees
4.132 Surcharge and User Fee on Certain Superior Court Cases
4.135 Fees for Civil Arbitration and/or Requests for Trial de Novo
Article 7 – Miscellaneous
4.142 Management of County Property
4.148 Delinquent Special Assessment Foreclosure
Title 4 Appendices
Appx. 2 Road Impact Fees Table
Publisher's Note: At the time of the 2000 republication of this code, the content of Title 4, Revenue and Finance, was reorganized. A cross-reference table providing former chapter numbers and their current designations may be found as Appendix 1, at the end of this title.


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Pi Lo Chun | Green Tea
Available in 2 ounce quantities only.
Description: A tea of the highest caliber. The delicate, downy hairs on the leaf impart incredible texture and mouthfeel. The cup balances crisp grassiness, citrus, floral layers, & complex sweetness.
Pi Lo Chun (also known as Green Snail Spring) has a history of more than 1,000 years. It is one of the top ten most famous teas in China and was considered a tribute during the Tang Dynasty. This lot was produced by Mr. Wu Yong Ming from the Dongting Mountain region of Suzhou City, Jiangsu Province, China. Mr. Wu opened his own tea factory in 1993, but his family has been in the tea business for generations. He has specialized in Pi Lo Chun and other luxury green teas for over 40 years.
Suggested Steeping Instructions:
3 grams | 8 oz water | 175°F | Steep 3 min.
Traditional Steeping Instructions:
6 grams | 6 oz water | 185°F | Rinse 5 sec. | Steep 30 sec.
green tea
Number of Cups:
2 oz makes 19 cups


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Dr. Vikramjeet Singh is a Physician in Genesis Hospital, Janak Puri. He has 12 years of experience in this field. He has completed MD from Karaganda State Medical Academy, Kazakstan. Dr. Vikramjeet is registered with Delhi Medical Council and his registration number is 45384.
Request an online appointment with Dr. Vikramjeet SIngh and consult him live on OyeHelp.com.


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If you were planning on visiting me at TxLA Friday I'm afraid I will disappoint you. I packed up the booth this afternoon.
This is no fault of the conference. Quite the opposite! I sold almost everything I brought. Which is one reason not to show up tomorrow - I've got nothing to sell. The other is that I have a nasty chest cough which crept into my throat and became laryngitis. By the end of today even whispering was painful. This makes it very difficult to converse with people. So I'm going to convalesce tomorrow morning before my flight home.
Thanks to everyone who stopped by to buy something or just say Hi. I couldn't be more thrilled about our first TxLA and I can't wait to return next year!
P.S. Don't miss my friend (and host) Terry Moore, who will be part of the Mavericks of Graphic Novels panel at 8am on Friday.
This weekend is Seattle's own Emerald City Comic Con, or ECCC as it's acronymically known. It's turned into a really great show and we're proud and excited to be there at booth 305. Gene, Jana, and myself will be taking turns at the booth when we're not walking around chatting up all the awesomely talented cartoonists who will be there. And, you know, buying stuff. Join us!
Check out our Full Schedule


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It is YOUR money! While analysis of past data is no guarantee of similar current, or future, performance … looking at Market, Sector, Industry, & Company Bull and Bear analysis with Fundamentals first and foremost (databases and spreadsheets) , followed by Technical analysis (charts: daily weekly, monthly, etc.). Sentiment Analysis, and listening to Financial calls, conference calls, webcasts, etc. can make investing decisions, as well as continuation of existing investments in a Fund, Mutual or ETF, stock, warrant, or other security … less of a lottery gamble … providing peace of mind.
2 thoughts on "About"
Just came across this web site today. Curious: what relationship/association does this organization/website have to the US Army? (I'm a 50% Disabled US Army Viet Nam Era Veteran)


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No need to predict – here's how to prepare for Oregon's predictive scheduling laws
Business owners that operate in the retail, food services, and hospitality industries have 7 months to prepare for Oregon's predictive scheduling regulations.
While municipalities throughout the country have passed city ordinances, Oregon is the first state to adopt predictive scheduling requirements. With the signing of Senate Bill 828, employers state-wide must prepare for the substantial changes that are soon to take effect.
What Businesses Are Affected?
The new law will impact employers with 500 or more employees worldwide and counts subsidiaries and their parent companies as a single employer. This broad definition ensures that the largest number of employers will be impacted by the changes and, furthering this goal, the hospitality industry includes casino operators.
What Does The Law Require?
Most of the bill's provisions are activated on July 1, 2018, but some regulations will become more burdensome at a later date. For example, employers will be initially obligated to provide at least 7 days of advance notice of workshifts to an employee. By 2020, however, business will be forced to give employees 14 days of advance notice. For every schedule change made within this one (and eventually two) week window, employers are obligated to pay employees one hour worth of wages to the employee in question. For employees working in a state with one of the highest minimum wages in the country, this could become a bounty–for employers this could become a dangerous burden.
Employers are encouraged to avoid scheduling employees within a 10 hour "rest period" of their last shift, and employers that choose to schedule employees during this period must pay them 1.5 times their regular rate of pay. Businesses must also receive written and voluntary consent in order to schedule employees in this manner.
Like many other predictive scheduling laws, the Oregon legislation requires employers to provide a good-faith estimate of the number of hours an employee can expect to work in a given period. In this case, that period is one month. Employers must also explain their voluntary on-call list procedures and cover the employee's tentative work schedule. This estimate must be given to all new employees at the time they are hired.
Unlike some other examples, the Oregon version of predictive scheduling does provide employers with some leeway in the area of on-call shift. Businesses can ask employees if they would like to be on a "voluntary standby list" and if an employee consents, the employer is exempt from a number of potential scheduling penalties. Additionally, employees hired to fulfill an administrative position such as a secretary are exempt from the requirements.
Fines And Remediation
Employers are subject to penalties for every violation of the law's provisions and record-keeping is an important part of compliance. Oversight is handled by the Commissioner of Oregon's Bureau of Labor and Industries who has the discretionary authority to levy fines up to $1,000 per violation.
How Employers Should Prepare
It's imperative that employers covered by this legislation begin to prepare now. They should begin by updating their hiring policies and retrain staff associated with human resources and payroll. Additionally, it would be prudent to begin drafting the necessary good faith estimate templates as well as policies guiding their standby list. Most importantly, employers should reconsider their approach to documenting and recording work schedules. The most convenient and efficient method of doing so would be to use a tool like Deputy. With Deputy, employers would be able to manage their standby list, update their employees' schedules, and have an electronic record of every important interaction and payroll disbursement.
Predictive scheduling is no small matter to adjust to, but if you prepare now and partner with the right employee management system, you can make the transition as seamless as possible.
The post No need to predict – here's how to prepare for Oregon's predictive scheduling laws appeared first on Deputy.


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A Baby's Best Start
(512) 873-0700
4601 Spicewood Springs Rd • Bldg 3 • Ste 200 • Austin, TX
Serving Austin Mothers and Babies for over 20 years
Benefits of Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding Classes
Mom Stories
Featured Articles
Helpful Links
Collecting and Storing Breastmilk
Note: For Normal Newborns Only, except where noted otherwise. If your baby is premature or ill and hospitalized in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit a different set of guidelines will apply. Check with the hospital staff for specific directions
Topics in this Article
Preparing the Breastpump
Pumping Breastmilk
Introducing the Bottle
Freezing/Thawing Breastmilk
Storage Times
Preparing the Breastpump
Wash Hands.
Wash your hands with hot water and regular soap. Antibacterial soaps are not necessary.
Sterilize New Breastpump.
Before using your breastpump for the first time, your pump should be sterilized according to the manufacturer's guidelines. Many pump parts are dishwasher safe or can be sterilized in a pot of boiling water for 20 minutes. Other products are available for sterilizing using a microwave such as the Avent microwave sterilizer and Medela micro-steam bags. Usually, it is recommended to sterilize once a day, especially if pumping several times a day.
Wash Parts before Pumping.
Wash breastpump parts that come into contact with your breasts or milk. Also wash the collection containers. You may use regular dishwashing soap. Rinse with cold water and then you may air dry on a paper towel or on drying rack.
Pumping Breastmilk
Milk Supply.
Remember that expressing your milk does not mean there will be less milk for your baby. Actually, expressing milk creates more demand for milk and therefore may increase your milk supply.
Morning Pumping.
Most women find their milk supply is greater in the morning. Therefore, you may collect more milk if you express at that time than at other times of the day. I suggest pumping anytime up to 1 hour after feeding your baby. If your baby only takes one breast, you may want to pump the other breast. Some women become adept at pumping one breast while feeding the baby one the other side. Many women make a habit of pumping every morning about one hour after the first morning feeding to store milk. Most women like to have stored milk in the freezer or refrigerator at all times in case it is needed.
Get Comfortable.
Before starting to pump try to get comfortable. Listen to some relaxing music if you can. Be sure your pump fits you properly. If using a Medela pump please be aware that Medela make different sizes of breastshields. There are four sizes to choose from. Ask your Lactation Consultant to assist you in getting the correct fit when purchasing the pump.
Special Pumping Situations.
In fact, there may be times when you may need to pump milk in the first few days after the birth of your baby. For example. If your baby is in the NICU, your baby will need your milk as soon as possible, The hospital will want you to begin expressing milk every 3 hours starting within the first 4 to 6 hours after the birth. Also, if your baby in jaundiced, or has low blood sugar or looses too much weight in the first days your lactation consultant or doctor may suggest expressing milk.
If you are having any trouble expressing your milk, refer to the manufacturer's manual for tips, or contact your lactation consultant for assistance.
Painful Pumping?
If pumping is painful, try applying olive oil to the areolae and around the nipple for extra lubrication just prior to starting the pump. This will not hurt the baby or spoil your milk.
Breast volume different?
You may find that you are able to express more milk from one breast than the other. This is very common and should not be of concern unless overall your milk volume is not sufficient.
How Long to Pump.
Normally, the pumping time is 10 to 20 minutes for most double electric breastpumps.
Milk characteristics.
You may notice differences in the color and consistency of your milk when pumping. This is also normal. This will depend on your diet in large part. The so-called "hindmilk' contains more fat and calories and will look more yellow in color. The hindmilk will actually rise to the top of the storage container like cream does in cow's milk. When preparing stored milk, you may gently swirl the container to mix the hindmilk layer with the milk.
Adding Milk.
You can add small amounts of cooled breastmilk to the same refrigerated container throughout the same day. Do not add warm milk to already cooled milk. Also, do not add freshly expressed milk to frozen milk.
Introducing the Bottle
Introducing the Bottle.
I suggest that you introduce your infant to the bottle once nursing is well established, at about 2 to 4 weeks of age. Give your baby a bottle of expressed milk 2 to 3 times a week to keep him acquainted with the bottle especially if you are returning to work. Even if not returning to work, your baby's father will probably want to participate in feedings, too. There will be times when you will want to be away from your baby or have to be away from your baby at feeding times and it will help if the baby is used to taking a bottle. If you wait too long to introduce the bottle, your baby may be reluctant to take a bottle even if it contains breastmilk.
Returning to Work.
If returning to work, try to pump 3 times in an 8 hours workday. If away from your baby, pump every 3 hours or at times when the baby would normally feed if you were not separated.
Freezing/Thawing Breastmilk
Type of Containers.
Glass or hard plastic containers are safe to use. You may also use plastic storage bags made especially for freezing breastmilk. Place these in another container for protection against puncture.
Avoid disposable plastic bags, or liners which are strictly used for feeding. Check labels when purchasing.
Freezing Milk.
Freeze milk in small amounts to avoid wasting milk and because it will thaw more quickly. Usually, it is a good idea to store enough for one feeding in one container. If you will be taking milk to daycare, then you may want to store more milk in a container-perhaps enough for 3 feedings, if your container is large enough.
Liquids expand when frozen, so be sure to leave some extra room at the top of the container so the bottle or bag won't burst.
Be sure to label all containers of milk with the date and time stored. Use the oldest milk first.
Avoid placing containers in the door of the freezer where the temperature can be warmer.
Thawing Your Breastmilk.
Never microwave breastmilk. Microwaving your milk can burn your baby due to the hot spots that can occur in the milk due to the microwaving process. Also, microwaving your milk can destroy the antibodies in your milk which are very sensitive to heat.
Thawing milk in the refrigerator is suggested. You may also hold the container under the faucet of warm, not hot, water to thaw more quickly. If desired, you can place a container in a bowl of warm water for 20 minutes to thaw.
You may store thawed milk in the refrigerator for 24 hours and no longer. Do not refreeze breastmilk.
Breastmilk does not have to be warmed to body temperature for your baby. Just take the chill off of it to offer it to the baby.
Storage Times