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|Marjorie Eileen Dursley
|Biographical information
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|Marital status
|Also known as
|Physical information
|Hair colour
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Dog breeder
Marjorie "Marge" Eileen[1] Dursley was Vernon Dursley's elder sister[1], and sister-in-law to Petunia Dursley and the aunt of Dudley Dursley. She had a career in breeding bulldogs. Ripper, a particularly ferocious bulldog, was her favourite. She was an unpleasant and arrogant woman, whose wealth appeared to be substantial, as she gave her nephew Dudley expensive gifts. In 1993, she visited her brother Vernon for a week. She enraged Harry Potter when she spoke ill of his parents, causing his magical abilities to unintentionally erupt, resulting in the inflation of her body. Her memory of this incident was later purged by the Ministry of Magic.
Early lifeEdit
Marjorie Dursley was born somewhere in Great Britain to the Muggle Dursley family; she was the elder sister[1] to Vernon.[2]
Adult lifeEdit
Marjorie went on to live in the country, in a house with a large garden where she bred bulldogs.[2] She seems to have some money, because she frequently bought her nephew, Dudley Dursley, expensive presents[2] and was noted to be holidaying some times.[3] She usually doesn't have much time to cook, living with twelve bulldogs. At some point in her life, she would live next to Fubster, a retired military colonel. She would fall in love with Fubster. However, her attraction was unrequited[1], though the two still kept enough of a relationship for him to watch after her dogs when she was away.
Dudley's fifth birthday partyEdit
In June 1985, Marge was at Privet Drive to attend her nephew's (Dudley) fifth birthday party. She whacked Harry Potter, a then-four year old, around the shins with her walking stick to stop him from beating Dudley at musical statues.[2]
Christmas at Privet DriveEdit
Between 1985 and 1990, Marge spent Christmas at Privet Drive. She brought a computerised robot for Dudley and a box of dog biscuits for Harry.[2]
Dudley's tenth birthday partyEdit
Marge was present again at Dudley's tenth birthday party, when Harry was nine. Harry accidentally stepped on Ripper's paw, causing the dog to chase Harry out into the garden and up a tree. Marge refused to call the dog off until past midnight, much to the Dursleys' delight.[2]
Holidaying at the Isle of WightEdit
- "Marge's ill. Ate a funny whelk..."
- —Vernon Dursley after reading Marge's postcard[src]
In June 1991, Marjorie travelled to the Isle of Wight. Unable to attend Dudley's birthday, she sent him a present.[4] It was also at the Isle of Wight that she fell ill after eating a "funny whelk", writing to the Dursleys to tell them about it.[3]
Week at Privet DriveEdit
- "Bad blood will out. Now, I'm saying nothing against your family, Petunia, but your sister was a bad egg. They turn up in the best families. Then she ran off with a wastrel and here's the result right in front of us."
- —Aunt Marge[src]
During the summer of 1993, she stayed at the Dursleys' house for a week. Knowing nothing about Harry's "abnormality," Marge was told that Harry attended St. Brutus' Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys.[2]
She belittled Harry the entire week she was there. When she asked if the cane was used at St. Brutus', she commented that she did not believe in not hitting people who deserved it. When she asked how often Harry was beaten, and he casually replied "all the time", she insisted that the school was clearly not hitting him hard enough.[2]
She also delighted in comparing Harry to Dudley, and remarking about what made Harry such an unsatisfactory person. When Marge insulted his mother and his father, Harry accidentally lost control of his magic and blew her up like a balloon.[2] She was successfully punctured, and had her memory modified by the Accidental Magic Reversal Squad of the Ministry of Magic.[2]
After this, the Dursleys never invited Marge to stay again while Harry was in residence, and he never saw her again[1].
Physical appearanceEdit
Marge is described as resembling her brother: large, beefy, purple-faced, and even having a moustache, though not as bushy as his. She has shoulder length blonde hair sort of like her brother's.[2]
Personality and traitsEdit
- "I won't have this namby-pamby, wishy-washy nonsense about not hitting people who deserve it. A good thrashing is what's needed in ninety-nine cases out of a hundred. Have you been beaten often?"
- —Aunt Marge to Harry[src]
Marge eats and drinks excessively.[2] She is, overall, a powerfully dominant woman who makes even Vernon look weak and powerless.[2]
Marge does not like Harry, and the feeling is quite mutual. When she visits, she always brings expensive gifts for Dudley (who only puts up with her because he is well-paid for it), such as a computerised robot, and less satisfactory "gifts" for Harry such as a box of dog biscuits. It is unknown if Marge knew Harry's parents, but she was constantly calling them gross names (such as good-for-nothing scrounger) and implying their uselessness to society (although, technically, James Potter was unemployed, but only because he was rich enough to not have to work).[2] Marge also has no knowledge of Harry's magical heritage, of which the rest of the Dursleys intend to keep it so.
While she is not a blood relative of Harry's, he is forced to call her "Aunt" Marge. She constantly insults his parents, allows Ripper to chase Harry up a tree, and is generally very cruel to him. She heavily favours her nephew Dudley; she even went as far as whacking a young Harry in the shins to stop him from beating Dudley at musical statues. While the Dursleys frequently ask Harry to stay out of their way, which he is only too glad to do, Marge strives for the opposite. She wants him under her watch all the time so she can spew out suggestions about how he can improve himself. She also suggested that Harry to be put into an orphanage instead of "being a burden" on the Dursleys.
Much of Marge's reprehensible behaviour, however, is the result of having been shunned by Colonel Fubster, whom she was in love with, though it should be noted she was already a horrible enough person for Fubster to not wish to marry her on those grounds.[1]
Behind the scenesEdit
- Aunt Marge is played by Pam Ferris in the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
- In the film adaptation of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry causes Marge to float outside along Privet Drive while in the novel she floats to the ceiling inside the house.
- Marge's personality was based on J. K. Rowling's grandmother, Frieda Volant.[5]
- In LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4, Marge begins to talk about Harry's parents when she finds a picture of them.
- In the film, Petunia is seen slowly waving goodbye to Marge as she floats away.
- In the book, Aunt Marge`s tyranny to Harry lasts all week. In the film, all the incidents happen the same day.
- Eileen Prince, the mother of Severus Snape, happens to share her first name with the middle name of Marjorie Dursley. Whether this was intentionality done by Rowling to provide an insight into a possible similarity in character, it is unknown.
Marjorie is a variant of Margaret. J.K. Rowling has confirmed that Marge is based on Conservative Prime-Minister Margaret Thatcher who is viewed as a controversial figure for her economic policies which while creating vast wealth in some areas, caused poverty in others. As a supporter of the Labour Party, Rowling is open about her dislike for Thatcher.
The name "Margaret" is derived from Latin Margarita, which was from Greek μαργαριτης (margarites) meaning "pearl", probably a borrowing from Sanskrit. Saint Margaret, the patron of expectant mothers, was martyred at Antioch in the 4th century. Later legends told of her escape from a dragon, with which she was often depicted in medieval art. The saint was popular during the Middle Ages, and her name has been widely used in the Christian world. [6] "Eileen" is from Celtic, English and Irish roots and has a long-standing history in each culture. In Irish it is known as a variation of "Helen". It became a more popular name in the 19th century. It is rumoured to have roots in Latin, American, French and Greek cultures, however such claims are not backed up with much evidence. Another variation of this name is Eileene which is most commonly used in Ireland.
Other versions of Eileen; "Aileen" (Scottish), "Eibhlin" (the original source for the name), "Eila" (Celtic variant of both "Eileen" and "Aileen"), "Eireen" (Norwegian variant of "Irene" or "Eileen"), "Eleanor" (a similarly-rooted name to "Eileen" in Irish).
Dursley is a town in Gloucestershire, England. J. K. Rowling has commented that she visited the place as a child, and hated it, which likely affected her choice of surname for the awful family, remarking "I don't imagine I'm very popular in Dursley".[7][8] The town is known for it's Victorian history in coal mining. Rowling chose the name because it sounded "dull and forbidding".
- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (First mentioned)
- Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone (film) (Mentioned only)
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (First appearance)
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (film)
- Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (video game) (Mentioned only)
- Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (Mentioned only)
- LEGO Harry Potter: Years 1-4
Notes and referencesEdit
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 1.7 Pottermore
- ↑ 2.00 2.01 2.02 2.03 2.04 2.05 2.06 2.07 2.08 2.09 2.10 2.11 2.12 2.13 Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - Chapter 2 (Aunt Marge's Big Mistake)
- ↑ 3.0 3.1 Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - Chapter 3 (The Letters from No One)
- ↑ Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone - Chapter 2 (The Vanishing Glass)
- ↑ 2000 article in The Daily Telegraph
- ↑ Margaret at Behind the Name
- ↑ Wikipedia:Dursley
- ↑ 2001 BBC Online Chat

subset: commoncrawl


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The Shift Coordinator improves guest satisfaction through financial controls, operations, direction of Team Members, and compliance within the scope of an assigned shift. The Shift Coordinator has full accountability for restaurant operations during assigned shift when management is not present. This position operates under the direct management of the Restaurant General Manager and helps lead the restaurant team. This position interacts with Team Members, Restaurant Management, outside vendors, members of the field operations team and guests.
- Responsible for restaurant operations (labor, inventory variance, GUEST TRAC® responses) during assigned shifts, including opening and closing restaurant;
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- Complies with the requirements of government regulations, Burger King Canada Market Policy, food safety, Burger King Canada Security Policy, operations and Burger King Canada policies and procedures relating to all activities in the restaurant during the shift;
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Note that the responsibilities and qualifications listed above are for positions at restaurants owned or operated by Redberry Franchising Corp. Job descriptions, compensation, benefits and other employment terms and conditions applicable to positions at independent franchised BURGER KING® Restaurants will vary and are determined solely by the Franchisee.


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Celebrity attorney expects more cases thrown out in West Valley
04/22/2013 8:37amA high-profile attorney who has defended the likes of Michael Jackson and Winona Ryder fully expects more drug cases to be thrown out in West Valley City.
Utah business leaders push for more skilled worker visas
04/22/2013 9:51amUtah business leaders want to see more visas for highly skilled, high-tech workers after the last batch of the visas vanished in just five days.
Fiancee of man shot at Maverick arrested for obstruction of justice
04/22/2013 12:10pmThe fiancee of Sione Fakatoufifita, 19, shot and killed outside a convenience store parking lot, has been arrested for investigation of obstruction of justice.
Utah water official says too early to water lawns
04/22/2013 1:16pmCities are turning on their secondary water systems but water watchers say that doesn't mean it's time to start watering the lawn.
Mother gives birth on front lawn
04/22/2013 5:43pmA Nibley woman was simply hoping to have a less-painful childbirth experience with her third son. Instead, she ended up giving birth in her front yard when her contractions escalated faster than she could get to the hospital.
Potential bomb threat closes Highway 163
04/22/2013 6:28pmUtah Highway Patrol has confirmed it is assisting in the closure of Highway 163 after San Juan County officials were alerted to a potential bomb threat.
Riverton High teacher arrested, charged with rape of student
04/22/2013 6:58pmA Riverton High School teacher has been arrested and charged with rape of a student. Courtney Jarrell, 22, submitted her resignation as a math teacher and girls basketball coach last week.
Man runs out of gas during high-speed police chase, arrested
04/22/2013 7:06pmPolice caught a rare break during a high speed police chase when a suspected criminal ran out of gasoline on Legacy Highway and slowly rolled into an arrest.
Feds dismiss 97th West Valley case
04/22/2013 7:17pmFederal prosecutors have dismissed another case involving the West Valley Police Department, bringing the total number of dismissed cases to 97.
Mike Lee critical of current immigration bill's size
04/22/2013 7:31pmAt a Heritage Foundation lecture titled "The Conservative Agenda," Utah Sen. Mike Lee walked a fine line — critical of the size of the current immigration proposal but supportive of both reform and of keeping hearings on track.
Man accused of assault gets plea deal after marrying victim
04/22/2013 8:26pmProsecutors have offered a plea deal to a man accused of kidnapping and assaulting his ex-girlfriend in light of the man's marriage to his victim.
Program aims to help Utahns in service professions buy homes
04/22/2013 8:29pmA national program that offers home rebates and discounts to those who serve their country and communities has made its way to Utah.
Father of The 5 Browns' appeal denied by judge
04/22/2013 9:33pmThe Utah Court of Appeals will not hear an appeal filed by the father of the classically-trained piano group The 5 Browns, who was sent to prison for sexually abusing his daughters when they were children.
Possible pipe bomb discovered at Layton elementary school
04/22/2013 9:33pmA bomb scare at Mountain View Elementary School on Monday resulted in the evacuation of students and cancellation of classes.
Police identify body found in Uintah County field
04/22/2013 9:38pmJohnny Olsen readily acknowledges that his son had a few scrapes with the law, but says he was finally "going down the right path."
FLDS investigated for alleged child labor
04/22/2013 9:59pmThe Labor Department began investigating Southern Utah Pecan Ranch after a CNN report in December showed FLDS Church children working in pecan groves near Hurricane.
'Welcoming community' critical for refugees
04/22/2013 10:27pmThousands of refugees come to the United State every year facing language, cultural and employment barriers. The people who help them settle say that those challenges can be made easier by one thing: a friend.
45 contracted workers laid off after Kennecott slide
04/22/2013 11:59pmKennecott received clearance Monday to inspect part of the copper pit buried in the massive landslide earlier this month, but has cut back on various contracted projects.
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| 5.5°C Dublin
Jason Segel has admitted the idea of making a sex tape does not appeal to him at all.
The actor stars with Cameron Diaz in new movie Sex Tape - about a couple who try to spice up their marriage by making an explicit home movie, which then accidentally gets distributed to all their friends, family and work colleagues.
Asked if he'd ever thought of making a sex tape in real life Jason said: "We spend so much time on camera, I think the idea in our regular lives, the idea of having a camera near me... I don't need to have one. It's not me. I don't like cameras in general."
Cameron agreed: "I don't do selfies, like I hate selfies. I don't like having my picture being taken in general. The rest of my life is not documented, I don't take pictures of things going on in my life. I try and be present for them."
The release of the film coincided with the leak of nude and explicit images of dozens of female celebrities including Hunger Games actress Jennifer Lawrence, model Cara Delevingne and former Downton Abbey star Jessica Brown Findlay, whose compromising pictures were posted online after their accounts were apparently hacked.
Speaking about the hacking scandal, Jason said it made him realise how unsafe the internet can be.
He said: "I think it just goes to show there's a real Wild West element to the frontier of technology. You really don't know what to expect and yeah, you have to be really careful. It's a terrible crime and because we use the word computer or hacker and celebrity... this is a person doing something terrible to another person and that's highly illegal and wrong.
Cameron added: "It's very chauvinistic and I feel like it always is a violation of women, you now? We focus so much on women and it's misogynistic really. It's a direct attempt to hurt women and I think it's unfair and as Jason says it's a human being who's being violated in a very personal, private moment that is being used to hurt them. I think it's a crime absolutely and the people who did it should be made examples of."
Jason insisted their own comedy Sex Tape is really about relationships.
He said: "I think what the movies does is pull back the veil of what it's like for couple after a long period of time. I think it's a great date movie for couple who've been together a long time because it will start some real conversations and we try and be as honest as possible."
PA Media


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Texas A&M, Notre Dame to join other schools in releasing their own fragrance line
How do you bottle the collegiate experience?
Two universities are going to try and find out, as Texas A&M and Notre Dame plan to launch fragrance lines in conjunction with the upcoming college football season. First we have this tweet from A&M's Assistant Vice President for Business Development:
#TAMU cologne & perfume samples arrived at the office today. Unofficial "sniff test" taking place. #USmellTerrific
— Shane Hinckley (@Shane_Hinckley) June 18, 2013
That spawned a whole series of #AggieScents suggestions, summed up here by the fine folks at Texas A&M blog Good Bull Hunting. It is a hilarious list that for the sake of our noses I hope no one who bottles perfume or cologne ever actually sees.
Hinckley told Yahoo Sports that the line will be called Texas A&M for Him and Her and will be available in Belk stores in late August, with more retailers to follow.
There is also a report from SportsBusiness Journal (subscription link) that Notre Dame is working with Cloudbreak Group, New York to establish their own scent. The group Notre Dame is partnering with helped establish a perfume and cologne line for the Yankees, and like the Bronx Bombers aroma, the Irish offering will sell for $62 for a 3.4-ounce bottle.
"What does a Yankees perfume possibly smell like?" you might ask. Great question:
The New York Yankees fragrance epitomizes the winning style of the greatest team in baseball, capturing a sporty and confident attitude. This fresh, woody scent introduces an invigorating blend of sparkling Bergamot, Coriander and cool Blue Sage. As it evolves, the fragrance reveals a fusion of crisp Ivy Leaves, Orange Flower and Geranium enhanced with rich earthy Patchouli, smooth Sandalwood and Suede to create a timeless, masculine scent.
Notre Dame confirmed the licensing deal to the South Bend Tribune this morning.
A 2009 Chicago Tribune story highlights that Texas A&M and Notre Dame are not the first two schools to try to bottle a university's essence. Masik Collegiate Fragrances are available now for a few schools, including Florida, LSU, UNC, Oklahoma, Penn State and Alabama.
What, exactly, does a defending national champion smell like?
As vibrant and effervescent as The Fever of the Roll Tide, The University of Alabama for Women opens with a vivacious burst of Candied Pink Grapefruit, Sparkling Mandarin, and Pineapple Sorbet. Textural Osmanthus, Tahitian Tiara Flower, White Tuberose and Japanese Honeysuckle glimmer throughout the heart capturing the passion and energy of the Crimson and White, while Exotic Bamboo Wood, Creamy Sandalwood, and Soft Musk linger at the base rounding out this sparkling and captivating fragrance. A luscious and bright tribute to the Crimson tradition for the Alabama woman.
Or perhaps you're curious to how one bottles the essence of Rocky Top?
The University of Tennessee for Women was exclusively inspired by the uniqueness and vibrancy of the Tennessee Orange. Juicy Tangerine combined with Lotus Blossom and Magnolia embodies the vivacious essence of the school's time honored colors. Blackberry Flower, Wild Orchid and Spray Roses keep in tune with the dynamic energy of the Orange and White while Skin Musk, Driftwood and Sensual Mimosa entice the senses while boosting school spirit! A light and beautiful orange scent for the Tennessee woman.
All of these scents – with options for men and women - are available for purchase on the Masik website for between $39.50 and $60. Interesting to note that in Masik founder's Kate Masich's 2009 interview with the Tribune her most requested school at the time was Notre Dame.
So, football fans: What do you think the A&M and Notre Dame scents are going to smell like? Stretch your olfactory muscles and figure this out.
- - -
Want to join the conversation? Hit us up on Twitter @YahooDrSaturday and be sure to "Like" Dr. Saturday on Facebook for football conversations and stuff you won't see on the blog.
Related coverage on Yahoo! Sports:
• Former Alabama star Glen Coffee to graduate from airborne school
• As O'Bannon lawsuit proceeds, college sports has new power player
• Report: Aaron Hernandez was questioned about 2007 shooting


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CBS will broadcast the 65th Primetime Emmy Awards live at 8 p.m. ET/5 p.m. PT on Sunday, Sept. 22. Keep this interactive Bingo card handy as you look for goofs, spoofs and general award show happenings. If you land a Bingo, share your card with your friends on social media!
Even more Emmys 2013 coverage:
- Emmys 2013 preview: Talk predictions with TV critics (live chat)
- Emmys 2013: Fill out your virtual ballot here
- Emmys 2013: TV critics make their predictions
- Emmys 2013: Who will win, who should win
- Emmys to honor James Gandolfini, Cory Monteith, more


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The Challenge League is the easiest way to meet and compete against new players in the Tampa area.Learn more about our
If you're trying to decide between joining your local tennis club or working with PlayYourCourt to take tennis lessons in Ridgecrest, here are five reasons why PlayYourCourt is the better choice.
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Grants to USA nonprofit organizations for programs that address significant issues in the areas of arts and sciences, education, health, and social services. Eligible applicants are those that primarily serve large geographic or demographic constituencies.
Fundraising opportunity for USA, Canada, and International nonprofit organizations to host a jazz concert held in honor of their organization or cause. Applicants must contact the funding source prior to applying. In addition to funds raised through concert ticket sales
Grants to USA nonprofit organizations to reduce social inequality and promote solutions to the climate crisis. Eligible programs will address the areas of racial and economic justice, corporate and political accountability; voice, creativity, and culture; and an inclusi
Grants of up to $50,000 to researchers affiliated with USA qualified institutions for research in the field of pediatric oncology. Applicants must submit an LOI prior to submitting a full application. Funding is intended to increase the institution's capacity to conduct
Grants to USA, Canada, and International independent filmmakers for feature-length films in eligible genres. Funding is intended to support nonfiction films at any production phase from development through post-production. Films should demonstrate effective storytelling
Grants to Alaska nonprofit organizations, schools, colleges, cultural centers, museums, and tribal organizations for educational opportunities in eligible regions. Funding is intended to provide access to high-quality education for native adults and children who are ori
Grants of up to $6,000 to Alaska nonprofit organizations, schools, colleges, tribal organizations, and individuals to promote the culture of Native Alaskans in eligible regions. Funding is intended to support projects that further the traditions of these peoples, preser
Grants of up to $3,000 to USA and Canada nonprofit organizations for projects to protect wildlife and natural habitats. Funding is intended for campaigns to save specific species and ecosystems. Eligible activities include public policy work, litigation, advocacy, and d
Grants to USA and territories nonprofits, for-profits, non-federal agencies, tribes, and individuals to promote the adoption and development of innovative approaches to conservation in agriculture. Applicants are advised that required registrations may take several week
Grants to USA and Canada individuals and families with low-income for financial assistance. Types of assistance include financial support to offset emergency expenses or to cover the cost of regular monthly bills. Funding is intended for workers and households that are
Grant of $9,000 to a USA, Canada, or International graduate psychology student for research and demonstration projects that foster understanding of the relationship between self-identity and scholastic achievement, primarily for children in kindergarten through eighth g


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Rich Schragger joined the Virginia faculty in 2001. His scholarship focuses on the intersection of constitutional law and local government law, federalism, urban policy and the constitutional and economic status of cities. He also writes about law and religion. He has authored articles on the Establishment Clause and local regulation of religion, the role of cities in a federal system, local recognition of same-sex marriage, takings law and economic development, and the history of the anti-chain store movement. Schragger has published in the Harvard, Yale, Chicago and Michigan law reviews, among others. He teaches property, local government law, urban law and policy, and church and state.
Schragger received an M.A. in legal theory from University College London and received his J.D., magna cum laude, from Harvard Law School. He was a supervising editor of the Harvard Law Review. After clerking for Dolores Sloviter, then-chief judge of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Third Circuit, Schragger joined the Washington, D.C., firm Miller, Cassidy, Larroca & Lewin, where he practiced for two years.
Schragger was a visiting professor at Georgetown Law School in 2001-02. In the fall of 2008, he was a visiting professor at New York University Law School and in the spring of 2009 he was the Samuel Rubin Visiting Professor at Columbia Law School.
J.D., Harvard Law School, 1996
M.A., University College London, 1993
B.A., University of Pennsylvania


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Recently Congress has been considering whether or not to tax internet purchases. Although I dislike paying taxes as much as the next person, I believe internet purchases should be taxed. It is a matter of fairness.
Why should the local brick and mortar stores act like showrooms for internet companies that don't have any of those expenses? Why should we be supporting the economies of New York or California when local businesses are struggling to get by and our neighbors are losing their jobs?
I teach in Alaska nine months a year and come home to western Pennsylvania to spend my summers. I have little choice but to do virtually all my shopping via the internet. I clearly benefit from not having to pay sales taxes when I shop online.
But the day will come when I am able to move back to Pennsylvania full time. And when that day comes, I want to be able to shop locally. A bill to require businesses to pay sales tax on internet purchases will help to ensure that I will be able to do so.


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- Home
- Feeling Stuck, Page 22 (PAGE FULL)
- Sex and intimacy after betrayal
- Share Your Story: Finding Out, Part 5 (4 is full!!...
- Finding Out, Part 5 (Please post here. Part 4 is f...
- Stupid S#*t Cheaters Say
- Separating/Divorcing Page 9
- Finding Out, Part 6
- Books for the Betrayed
- Separating and Divorcing, Page 10
- Feeling Stuck, Part 23
- MORE Stupid S#*t Cheaters Say
- Share Your Story Part 6 (Part 5 is full)
- Sex & Intimacy After Betrayal Part 2 (Part 1 is full)
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Three to Five Years: There Are No Shortcuts...
And ain't THAT the truth.
Still, we think we should get there faster. Whether "there" is getting over our husband's betrayal. Or, perhaps, "there" is no longer caring that he's with the other woman because you're separated. Perhaps "there" is feeling ready to date again. Or maybe "there" is no longer beating yourself up for something that was never your fault in the first place.
But wherever "there" is for you...you're likely not reaching it nearly as quickly as you think you should.
And, I believe, you won't.
It's gonna take a whole lot longer than you expect.
But that's okay. Because, if you take your time... if you really do the hard work necessary to peel back the layers of pain and really turn them all over in your mind and heart, when you do get there, you won't need to keep looking over your shoulder to make sure heartbreak isn't gaining on you.
Three to five years, say the experts. Three to five years!
Yep, I know it sounds like an eternity. I'm with you. For gawd's sake, I could have conceived and given birth to an entire basketball team in that time.
But – and I speak from experience here – I'm finally starting to feel as if I'm wearing my own skin again. And it has been – get ready for it! – two months shy of FOUR YEARS.
When I first heard the three- to five-year timeline – about one month after D-Day – I didn't believe it. Didn't want to. Figured that maybe it takes OTHER people that long. But I'll just fast-track this healing stuff and be back on my feet in a few months.
That was around the time I was face down on my bathroom floor, sobbing into my dog's neck (who, incidentally, was just diagnosed with bone cancer. Honestly, can't I catch a break?? Please??).
It was around the time I had lost 15 pounds without even trying (I'll be honest – the highlight of my day was stepping on the scales...then I'd go back to feeling miserable) and I didn't bother applying any makeup because it was just going to slide down my face by 9:15 a.m.
Still, THREE TO FIVE YEARS??
You could probably reduce that time-frame if, unlike me, you manage to skip the whole self-loathing suicidal period, which lasted close to a year and forced me to face all sorts of childhood abandonment issues I thought I'd successfully drowned in copious amounts of wine when I was 15.
But though it seems like a long time (and it is!), the place you'll end up is really amazing.
Having to reassemble my heart took time and courage, but it also allowed me to step into myself fully – something I'd never done. It offered me a glimpse into how much of my heart was going into relationships (not just my marriage, but with friends, colleagues, hangers-on...) that drained me. I'm far better able to recognize these emotional vampires, and to protect myself. As a result, I'm less blurry around the edges. I know exactly where I end and someone else begins.
So, yeah, three to five years.
But you just might find, as I did, it's worth the trip.
31 comments:
Not a post I need to read not even 6 months in...ReplyDelete
I'm still mired in the death phase. Preferably my husbands but I still think about it fleetingly for myself in bad moments.
It just feels like I live under a weight of permanent misery that just never lifts, even when I'm smiling it's with me.
But it DOES lift.ReplyDelete
I know how you feel, though. It's the loss of hope that's really a killer (no pun intended!). And it becomes increasingly difficult, if not impossible to imagine that life will someday be good and that you'll move through this.
I'm still "fragile." I feel like I can't handle as much because I don't trust my strength to get back up again. But then, when I speak with friends who know what I've gone through, they inevitably point out how much strength I've shown. It's all relative...
That's why I wrote this post – because it takes a LONG time. On the one hand, that's depressing as hell. But on the other, it helps to know that feeling shitty six months out (and still harboring fantasies of husband killing) is perfectly normal, under the circumstances.
The clouds will part...
If you think you're sinking into a true depression where you really don't see a way out, please talk to your doctor or therapist. I hated the idea of anti-depressants and resisted for more than a year. But they really made a difference. Helped me see a light at the end of the tunnel...which grew brighter. Was on them for 18 months, have been off for almost a year. And am feeling...good.
- AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 4:39 PM
This is not on-topic, per say, but... I'm only a few weeks in after finding out that this other person even existed. I'm about 2 weeks from learning that he loved/s her. 2 days since I learned it was physical (he does not know that I know that last part-- he still denies it was physical). How long until your husband came clean? Am I being unreasonable that I want him to tell me anything I want to know and fall at my knees in despair and remorse tonight? How long do I wait for him to fight for me?ReplyDelete
I'm still waiting for my husband to be truly honest and fall to his knees and beg me to stay with him. I've given up hope of that and only get by from our weekly therapy visits.ReplyDelete
I have only one solid plan and that is to get better- get independent and leave him. Still I hold out hope..
Hi Marti,ReplyDelete
You have every right to expect your husband to be honest and fall to hist knees. Why shouldn't he? You can't have a marriage with only one person being honest and committed.
Have you told him what you need? Absolutely laid it out for him? If you have and he still can't....well, then, I think you're wise to simply take what you can from your therapy and get yourself ready. Otherwise, you're both just putting in time.
I'm sorry. I can imagine how painful it must be. It's like salt to a wound.
The thing is, I wouldn't be surprised if he does fall to his knees. My hope is that he does it while there's still time to resurrect your marriage. It's his loss...
HI Anonymous,ReplyDelete
Glad you found us. And I'm sorry you're going through this.
No, you're not being the least bit unreasonable expecting your husband to be honest with you. It's indicative of how crazy this whole betrayal crap makes us that you even need to ask. You're his wife. My guess is he promised to love, honor, cherish and FORSAKE ALL OTHERS. If not in exact words, then certainly in spirit.
My husband came clean within a few hours during the first D-Day...but it took 6 months before I got the WHOLE story. And what a story!
Most men, when caught, go into defense mode, immediately minimizing what they did (we're only friends, it meant nothing, we didn't have sex, blah blah blah) in order to protect your feelings but more importantly, keep themselves out of DEEP trouble and buy themselves some time. If the do decide to stay, you'll likely get the trickle truth, which means the whole story will take days, weeks, months to come out.
My advice? Make it clear right now that you need to hear everything, no matter how painful. Not all the gory details (positions, locations, etc.) but certainly his intentions, the length of the relationship, the depth, and so on.
And then you are absolutely within your rights to figure out where you go from here. Do you need him to leave to sort out your feelings? Should he move to a couch? Don't for a second worry that you're sending him into the arms of another woman. That's already happened. Now it's time to figure out what YOU NEED. And that's all that matters. You need complete honest for starters. Transparency about who he's seeing, what he's doing, who he's texting, and so on.
If he can't give you that (passwords, etc) then he's still hiding stuff. People with nothing to hide, hide nothing.
Hang in there. Keep reading here and on other sites, such as survivinginfidelity.com. Do what you can to keep yourself upright (try and sleep, eat as well as you can, avoid drugs and alcohol... And figure out what you want. Then demand it.
The rest, as much as you wish otherwise, is out of your control.
- Anonymous IIOctober 21, 2010 at 10:17 AM
I have been reading your blog for a couple of months now (and I love it). I'm at the 3 1/2 month mark (from D-Day). In my mind, I thought I was getting better a little everyday but I still had the triggers that would set me back. But my mouth didn't know when to stop and would always sling hurtful comments towards my husband referencing his cheating...well, he announced to me last week that he's going to move out for a couple of months so we could both get past the hurt. "He can't handle my hurtful comments anymore. He has apologized and said he screwed up." He says he's not seeing anyone. That he still loves me and wants to be with me, but can't take my mouth or attitude right now (he is also dealing with his 18 year old daughter deciding not to talk to him anymore and other stuff with it that I won't go into detail here). And to top it off, the OW that he supposedly hasn't had any contact with in months, started texting him, first to see if he would meet with her, then when he refused, she started to threaten him and harass him and she is in contact with his daughter and ex-wife. So, yeah, he's got a lot on his plate right now. So, after a couple of days, I accepted the fact we are separating...and think it is probably going to be a good thing for both of us.ReplyDelete
As to the timeframe, that is a scary thought that it could take that long. I've actually gotten over the woman part of his affair, but I still get ticked off thinking about all the lies that he told me and how I can't trust him now. Yeah, I could see regaining the trust to take that long..........
My mouth tended to have an evil mind of its own, too!ReplyDelete
Three-and-a-half months might seem like a long time...but when I look back now, I was still so incredibly raw and fragile. And ANGRY!
I can see that a separation can be a good thing. If I hadn't had three kids -- and I worried about their sense of stability -- I likely would have tried a separation.
And yeah, it's the trust that takes time. If the affair is truly over, and you really know that, then the details of the affair eventually become mind-chatter...and can become easier to tune out.
But knowing that your spouse can lie to you on such a massive scale...well, that's a hard one to overcome. Everything becomes suspect. Was he really at the grocery store? Did he really hit a lot of traffic on his way home?
Are you doing anything to come to terms with your own anger? Your nasty remarks are, of course, a form of self-defence. Behind anger is usually hurt and fear...or in the case of betrayal, likely hurt AND fear. If you can address those emotions, often the anger dissipates.
Good luck with the separation. My advice? Make sure you both use the time to face your issues rather than treating it as a brief vacation from intense emotion. Otherwise you'll be exactly where you are now...no wiser, just older.
- Anonymous IIOctober 22, 2010 at 12:54 PM
Thanks, Elle! I appreciate your comments.....unfortunately, I just uncovered a photo of another suspected OW of her sitting on his motorcycle having a cigarette outside of a bar and it was posted in her FB about 3 weeks ago...when I confronted him about her several times over the last couple of months (from other things I suspected) he says they are "just friends".....I'm not going to confront him about the photo because I know what he will say (more lies), so now, I'm going to change my whole demeanor and strategy (I was trying to be this way already, but I couldn't seem to stick to it)............if he doesn't come clean on his own and doesn't make the changes that I have asked him to, then we're done! And unfortunately, I already know the answer......2 heartbreaks in just a few months time........how much more can a person take? I asked him this morning if he's seeing someone and I want the truth......he stated he's not, why do I ask this s***? I said, gut feeling and signs....he replies BS, ain't no signs.........then an hour later, he texts me he loves me........give me a break.ReplyDelete
Ladies! You've got to give me names. Psdeuondyms are fine. But all these "anonymous"s are confusing the hell outta me!ReplyDelete
Not sure which anonymous you are, but hell yes! If he's gaslighting (giving you all sorts of excuses while the evidence piles up like dead bodies on the stage of Shakespearean play), then you've got to get out and reclaim your dignity. All my blogging about forgiveness and giving yourself time to heal isn't about letting yourself be abused or treated like a welcome mat.
Now, keep in mind that some of these OW (not all, but certainly some) are calculating and can make a one-night-stand look like a declaration of love...so use your common sense when photos, etc. come to light. But if something in your gut is screaming (or even whispering "bullshit" where your spouse is concerned...well you and I both know what you need to do about that!).
- AnonymousDecember 27, 2010 at 12:16 PM
Oh my. I'm just on my 2nd & 1/2 month since D-day. Three to five years seems scary.. I don't know if I can last that long. There are just so many triggers and every time they come up I want to just end this marriage... I don't want to hurt our 3 kids so I am holding on, but for how long? Since the affair, my views have changed.. I feel miserable and can't seem to focus. He would ask me if I still love him and won't answer him back because I don't want him to think that I'll beg for his love (I do love him still though). I was betrayed and If I will allow myself to be put down by this, then the enemy have won over me... that's what my mind is thinking, but no matter how hard I tried to ignore my emotions and how many times he tells me that he loves me, my heart is just filled with anger and bitterness at this moment and can't seem to see things clearly (that's what he will said whenever I'll bring up the affair). He would tell me that I am imagining too much about what happened between him and the bitch. I hate feeling this way and how I wish I can just move on, stop asking questions, care less and make him insignificant in my life. I'm looking forward to the day when his past and future actions can not hurt me anymore. My husband wants to make this marriage work but I'm confused about what I really want with my husband.ReplyDelete
- Jamie
I could have written your comment word for word at 2 1/2 months past D-Day. That was EXACTLY how I felt. I would feel like ending the marriage because of the way he cracked his knuckles in his sleep!! What you're feeling is completely normal, under the circumstances. And of course you can't think clearly. This has completely changed your life -- and your husband to think otherwise is crazy. You'll stop asking questions when you feel as if there's nothing more he's hiding. You'll start thinking clearly when you can feel as if your life is exactly as you think it is. Betrayal is crazy-making -- when we learn that what we thought was true wasn't. Black is white, up is down... And it's takes time to get past that and feel safe again. Your husband needs to acknowledge that this is traumatic -- a trust violation is truly traumatic. And that in order for you to be able to say you love him and stop asking questions, you need to feel safe. And that safety only comes with healing and the ability to trust him again based on repeated evidence that he can be trusted.
The day will come when his past actions are left in the past and have little bearing on your present. But that day will only come after you've healed -- and in my experience that's not something you can fake or fast-track.
You'll get there -- and you will get there faster if he can truly be transparent about what he's doing, where he is, who he's with. You'll also get there faster if he can completely support you in your healing by understanding that what you're feeling is normal for now. Today is not forever -- it's simply where you are right now.
Hang in there. You're still really raw and time will also help make whether you want to stay in the marriage or leave seem clearer.
- AnonymousJanuary 30, 2011 at 3:49 PM
I am at DDay+1 month approximately, but its sort of DDay #2 because a year ago I got what I am still convinced was a misdirected sms but the full proof was not there so we continued in withdrawal which had been status quo for about six years. As it turns out, and hence DDay + 1 month, he has been the recipient of affections from at least three women over this period and up to a few months ago. I came accross emails which left me with little doubt and a whole lot of questions. I feel all that everyone else has spoken and written about. We have had our hysterical bonding and have had the best and most intense, frequent sex in six years... Surprise surprise... He has profusely appologised, told me all the right things, going to counselling, trickle truthing and gaslighting me and reading all that i send him and even together. We talk a lot and it is good and usually culminates in some hysterical bonding. I also got the no sex story, only kissing, cuddling, making each other feel good... Blah blah blah. There are good days and not so good days. I am definitely not slinging criticisms or snide remarks or being mean or anything like that. I am also not crying nor neglecting life, kids, dogs, showers, work... Overall i kind of feel that i am ok and can move past this. It scares me how typical it is though and how classic and uncreative or non unique our situation is. He has no contact, he wants us back and i know he loves me but needed some admiration that he was not getting from me. Not my fault i know, i did not push him into anyone else's arms... Only i sort of did. We both gave up working on the marriage so while it is true that the right respinse would have been to work on things, people often need that cold shower wake up call. Like the smoker who cannot give up until he is diagnosed with cancer...then its easy to give up! So while i am not suicidal nor full of self doubt about my sex appeal nor feeling overly guilty, i do so see my part in this mess... The love bank was in serious overdraft and someone else made the deposit. I dont want recovery to take three to five years. I would rather spend these years loving and living. I know there are no shortcuts and he knows also. The boundaries have been set, the agreements rewritten, truth, partial for now has been told. I am not angry nor jealous. I am still sort of hurt nut if truth be told it is my pride more than my heart. I know my husband loves me and always has. We are each others mirror images. I dont need to forgive, i just need to live and love and be loved.ReplyDelete
Hi Janice,ReplyDelete
Thanks very much for sharing your situation and your thoughts. And yes, though I sometimes joke that there must be a "cheater's handbook" because these men can be so damn cliche, nonetheless our experiences are our own and just because they're typical doesn't make them any less real to us. Thanks for reminding me of that.
And glad you're doing okay with this. I, too, hope it doesn't take you three to five years. Sounds like you're well on the road to healing.
- AnonymousJanuary 31, 2011 at 5:41 AM
How do you know when you have started to heal?ReplyDelete
Hi Janice,ReplyDelete
Wow -- that's a tough question. I knew when I stopped thinking about it 24/7. It was like a sliver of sunlight. But I was in a pretty bad state – a lot of crying and raging with bouts of total numbness.
Have you talked to a counsellor about any of this? You mentioned that you've gone through worse and I'm just wondering if your relative calm about this is more of a numbness. I figure it never hurts to talk it over with someone who's seen it all before.
I wish I could tell you more clearly what "healing" looks like, but I think it would vary.
Any other BWC members want to weigh in?? Perhaps I'll solicit thoughts in a post. Thanks for the idea!
- AnonymousFebruary 2, 2011 at 11:26 AM
Yes, going to a counselor but this is all relatively recent - so our third session is tomorrow. I haven't gone through worse myself but I have seen situations that were definitely much much more difficult so I am able to put this in perspective. I work in the humanitarian field and I have seen death and devastation, rape, true madness, war, suicide, complete destitution and loss of hope which is the worst of them all.... colleagues going completely off the wall etc. etc. This is relatively light in comparison. It is personally painful but I know that there are things that could happen even to me that would be impossible to deal with. At least this one offers opportunity to those who are willing to work for it! Other situations don't.ReplyDelete
- Janice
Interesting – that's pat of what got me through, too. I had just wound up some work on AIDS in Swaziland (incidentally, highest HIV rate in the world)...so I, too, had something of a perspective that kept what was happening in check. Though I must add...most of the time. Still had days when I thought I simply couldn't survive it, but mostly was able to remind myself that this didn't involve death or a terminal diagnosis...so was, on some level, "fixable."
- AnonymousFebruary 3, 2011 at 3:01 AM
On some level.. indeed! I have a question and I am sure that based on your own experience and that of others in this group I can get some wise advice. My H is still asserting that there was no sex - ie. no penetration - with any of the OWs. My gut is telling me otherwise based on the emails and based on just what I know of the male species.. and the female species for that matter! I just don't believe it and he is holding on to that story like a drowning man onto a twig in the ocean amidst the waves. Should I write to the OWs and simply ask them? Should I just file that one as one of those unresolvable issues that will just always be there in the back of my mind or should I decide to believe him and assume that this is so? I want to know but I fear also what that knowledge will bring me? Another confirmation of lies for the last month every day... Yet really, I do want to know beyond a shadow of a doubt and I think that the OWs will tell me. What do you think? What has been the popular experience with such approaches and what is likely to be the result? For better or for worse?ReplyDelete
Thanks in advance
Yes, I would need to know for a couple of reasons. For one, you need to know if you're at increased risk for any STDs (I do hope you've been tested). But I also think it's important to have complete disclosure. I don't think you can move forward when one person has the complete picture and the other doesn't. I always maintained that, when determining my own future (ie. stay or go), I needed to know all the facts in order to make an informed decision.
I would be inclined to get him to fess up rather than go to the women right away. Many women actually insist their husband's take polygraphs. Even the threat of such a thing is often what these men need to come clean.
Our marriage counsellor insisted on total disclosure -- but within a clinical setting (perhaps to ensure I didn't reach for the knives :) ). He maintained, and I agree, that you need to be honest about the past before you can commit to a future together.
Not sure how many readers of this blog read all the comments but if they do...I hope they'll offer up their own thoughts on this. And perhaps I'll try and add a feature where readers can solicit advice.
If you haven't already discovered survivinginfidelity.com, I hope you'll check it out. It's a good site for that back and forth, though sometimes you have to ignore less-than-helpful info.
- AnonymousFebruary 3, 2011 at 3:34 PM
Yeah I have had all the tests and have nothing thankfully. Just my HPV which one can never time tag.ReplyDelete
- Jan
- AnonymousJune 14, 2011 at 4:40 PM
How do you handle third parties in all this? I am agonizing running into DH's BFF & his wife, who introduced (with no mal-intent) the OW to my DH in the first place (actually, before we got married). These "friends" knew there was chemistry, and then later, after we got married, they knew about the hanky-panky. DH, his BFF & wife, OW, my kids and our friends all sat together last summer at a picnic (before DDay in Sept). I was humiliated to find out that they knew all along, and all had the nerve to sit there like nothing was happening. What do you say to these people when you inevitably run into them? As it is, I know BFF has a BIG MOUTH and has likely told family and inner circle friends (he likes to publicize other people's screw ups--his ego's contorted). I will try to hold my head up, but frankly I don't want to give BFF & wife the time of day. Side note, BFF screwed around on wife a long time ago, so I'm further saddened by her loyalty to OW (her friend) over my potentially trashed marriage (having lived through a similar pain herself). Not sure how to get through this kind of stuff without melting down all over again... Thanks---ReplyDelete
That's a tough one. I know how tempting it is to get everyone on your side -- to see it all through your eyes and to have your pain validated. Unfortunately, it just doesn't work that way. I hope you have some people in your life – a best friend, your mom, sister, us – that can support you through this. But those who were complicit in what happened are likely dealing with their own issues and just can't or won't be there for you. Clearly these "friends" are not friends at all. Their loyalty is not with you. Not wanting to give them the time of day is completely understandable and wise, I think. You're not emotionally safe around them so to pretend that you are, or force yourself to be around them isn't healthy for you...at any time, but especially when you're hurt and vulnerable.ReplyDelete
You did nothing wrong. So behave as such. You can either smile and nod when you see them or walk right past. Be prepared to shake and rage inside...but do hold your head high. If you must say something, stick to a prepared statement and don't get sucked into he said/she said exchanges. I sometimes said "It's very difficult but I'm getting through" to those whose motives I didn't trust (ie, those who wanted to turn my pain into the gossip-de-jour).
The wife of your husband's friend clearly hasn't come to terms with what happened to her or she would extend compassion to you. But that's her issue, not yours. Disappointing for sure. But probably better that you find your support far away from these toxic people.
- AnonymousJune 21, 2011 at 4:16 PM
Thanks, I like your word "toxic." I have no desire to see these people. I know my husband has reached out via text and then spoken with BFF a couple of weeks ago (much to my chagrin), but I only know from checking in on the phone account, and, I'm afraid to let him know I've been checking up because he says I'm getting in my own way of feeling better. Frankly I'd rather he never spoke with him again, aside from BFF being complicit, he's the link to the OW. But that may be unrealistic. I WOULD like to know what they said to each other (which may have been nothing), but either way, I have bad dreams about our eventual encounter. And I WILL run into their family eventually...I suppose I could proactively say to my husband, "If BFF is coming into town, I don't want to see them, and no, I don't want you to either," which would have less pain for me (but more for him) than him asking me 2 days before it happens if he can go to a ball game w/BFF and then I boil for 72 hours....ReplyDelete
"...getting in your own way of feeling better"??? C'mon. I would say his cheating got in the way of your feeling better! Keeping in touch with a friend who was complicit in the deceiving of you is getting in the way of you feeling better. Jeesh!!ReplyDelete
At this point, your marriage is pretty damn fragile. And this friend poses a danger to your marriage. He reminds you of a painful event in your life. He was complicit in something that was a threat to your marriage... You have every right and reason to not want this person in your life...and in your husband's. And, if he's committed to the marriage and willing to take responsibility for the pain you're in, then he will agree, even if it's uncomfortable or hurtful for him.
That said, if you're not comfortable with insisting on cutting this guy out of your/your husband's lives, then at least explain to your husband your point of view. This guy is not a "friend of the marriage", so to speak. So for you to view him warily is simply self-defense. He's revealed himself to be untrustworthy...so why would you trust him? Why would you want your husband spending time with him? Of course, you wouldn't.
As I said, your marriage is fragile. I'm guessing you're feeling pretty fragile. So...for the time being...I think it's fair to insist that you get the healing environment you need. And if that means your husband has to tell this guy to simply stay in the background for now while you two work through this, I don't think that's too much to ask. If, at some point, this guy comes to you and acknowledges your pain and apologizes for his part in it, you might be willing to open your heart and mind just a crack. But for now, you're taking care of yourself and your marriage...and that includes a life that doesn't have him in it. For now.
My two cents...
- AnonymousJune 22, 2011 at 1:07 PM
Thanks, your 2c are worth a $1M right now. I did make those "not friends of the marriage" comments back at Xmas when I didn't want a card sent. The good news is, he beat me to the punch last night; seems he reached out to BFF to see when they'd be in the vacation area so he could make sure we wouldn't be (to avoid any even accidental social run-ins). He then ponied up the "I screwed up, this is/was my fault, and getting our marriage OK is more impt than BFF." For the first time since D-day I feel like there's genuine hope for my sanity and this marriage.ReplyDelete
Funny, your comment about "if BFF had reached out to me..." could not have rung clearer. Yes, if I'd gotten that message from either him or his wife, there'd be hope for repairs there too. But BFF apologizing would likely dig up the old wounds that were inflicted when HE cheated--he may not want to revisit apologizing for bad behavior. The other good news is that my husband did not seem to care if or when their friendship would begin again--I think he recognizes the whole situation for what it is, and that no, they were not friends of our marriage. I am a little sad for him on the end of a long friendship, but not sad enough to recognize I might end up a complete disaster if I let BFF back in.
Your blog has been a life-saving touch-stone. Hopefully someone else can/will benefit from your advice above--I'm sure I'm not the only one that has a web of friends involved directly or indirectly in their disaster.
Sounds like your husband is seeing the situation clearly...which I can imagine is a huge relief for you. I often feel so incredibly grateful when I don't have to fight for every concession; when my husband simply takes the necessary steps to protect me without me having to ask/demand/insist on it.ReplyDelete
And yes, I'm sure it does give you a certain hope/optimism regarding your future with him. More like that from him and you just might marry him all over again! :)
Thanks for posting. Your experience – and everyone who shares on this site and elsewhere – goes a long way toward reminding us we're not alone in this. And that we will emerge from the dark days.
- AnonymousAugust 1, 2011 at 9:01 PM
I have been trying to seek help from someone who is in same situation as me. It took me 2 years to know that there is such a club like this, I am so thankful of you.ReplyDelete
It's been 2 years now since the DDay but still I am in a lot of pain and anger. My husband left us for two months last year telling me that he can't stay no more at home as I don't trust him and I treat him like a prisoner.... don't know what he meant like a prisoner when he can do all he likes, travel every 2 or 3 weeks (job related... that's where he met the OW. Sadly, his mother passed away and came back to us. We were quiet, so careful not to open the past but there are times that I can't help myself searching because my instinct is telling me that there still something going on but as usual my H kept saying "I have no contact with her" but he kept hiding telephone bills, always lock his mobile phone and spending heaps of dollars on mobile internet and last week he told me that his Boss is sending him overseas for another job.. my feeling is telling me that he plan to celebrate the Bday of this OW, when I told him this, he got very defensive and told me that he is moving out of this house and not coming back, well he moved.... to our computer room sleeping in our sofa bed. We don't see each other as he work in AM and I worked PM. I have been stupid, I allowed him to do this to me. He doesn't feel my mental anguish.. he still think that they didn't do anything wrong... they said it just happened.
It's been 2 years and until now he has not confess of anything. I am just waiting for him to move out of this house(again) and I am changing the lock of all the doors and put all his belongings in the garage(his only
access)...can I do this? Am I breaking the law?
I'm so sorry for what you're going through. It sounds like hell. I don't have an answer to your question re. changing the locks. But why are you letting him dictate the terms of your relationship? A marriage is between two equal partners -- you certainly don't need to live like this. Do you have proof of his affair? Did he ever admit it? If there has been any reason for you to not trust him, then of course you're not going to trust him. Why would you believe someone who has lied in the past? His word is no longer good enough. He either needs to become totally transparent -- which means giving you access to his cell phone records, credit card statements or whatever else you feel you need to see in order to determine whether he's being honest -- or he needs to accept that you're not going to trust him because he hasn't been trustworthy and seems to be hiding something.ReplyDelete
I think you need to lay down your requirements in order to stay in this marriage. Think about what they are: What do you need from him in order to feel like an equal and valued partner in this relationship. Then tell him, calmly, what you need. He has two choices: either give you what you need or get out. Either way, you're better off than you are right now, living in some sort of dictatorship with someone who seems to care little for your feelings.
I would also make an appointment with a lawyer and figure out your rights. You can't continue to live like this...
Good luck. And keep us posted.
- AnonymousMarch 2, 2012 at 10:20 PM
it's been 4 months since d-day. november was a write-off, i don't even remember it. december i tried my best to "pull it together" for the kids and have a "happy" xmas. i think all my faking actually made me believe in it, for a while. january was horrible even though we went on a "family" vacation. i hated every minute of it, then felt guilty for doing something that many can't afford to do, and told myself to suck it up and appreciate it. then came february. he started getting all excited for valentine's day. i couldn't fake it anymore. i told him i felt dead inside, there was no life in me, i was just going through the motions. get up, get ready, get kids ready, take them to school, go to work, come home, make dinner, take kids to lessons, exercise, go to bed, repeat. at one point in the conversation he looked me straight in the eye and said "you're still hurting, aren't you". i felt like screaming "well DUH!?!?", but i didn't. instead tears rolled down my cheeks. he held me and said to take as much time as i needed. i think it was a wake-up call to him. just because he's not dealing with his constant guilt and shame, doesn't mean that i'm not going through my own stuff, in the aftermath of d-day. now i can tell him, 3 - 5 years. i am definitely not "healed" but i feel like a weight has been lifted, and i've begun to smile again, without faking it.ReplyDelete
3-5 years huh? Wow. It's been a bit over 3 weeks since I found out about my husbands infidelity. He confessed and apologized profoundly enough that I believe him. But his actions go deeper than another woman. My husband cheated on me with my BROTHER! I believe he is sorry and up until a few days ago I didnn't want to be away from him, it was like I needed him. His love was holding me together. This past weekend we went to a family event in which my brother was supposed to attend too. He didn't go so I wouldn't be uncomfortable (how "thoughtful") but weird thing is I became angry at my husband. For tearing my family asunder a thought that hadn't crept up before. Imagining my husband and brother together sends an inexplicable feeling to my heart and stomach. How can two people who I've loved and care for so much not think about me for an instance. It's double betrayal. I feel like I lost my husband and a brother. So my feelings of needing him have shifted from NEEDING him to make it through my day to where I seem to be getting angrier and angrier at him. He doesn't know this though. I'm faking it becuase I don't want to push him away. I love him and we both want to repair our marriage. We love our children and don't want them to suffer. Another family event is coming up and again my brother won't be there. I feel bad for my brother becuase he's also losing his family, my husband gets to take part in our family events and not him. I find that unfair being that they both did something horrible to me. I don't know what to do, my feelings are in such disarray. One day I'm feeling sorry for my husband becuase he shows so much remorse, then my brother, then I'm happy, then I don't want to see my husband. I don't know if I should tell my husband that sometimes I loathe him...I'm so confused...and of course not to mention how I keep asking myself "is he gay?" "is he going to end up saying he likes men down the road?" "he is obvioulsy bi!" I look at him and he is so manly, both he and my brother that the thought is unimaginable...ReplyDelete


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Mogbo, Peter C - Mogbo & Ozoude in Los Angeles, CA
Mogbo, Peter C - Mogbo & Ozoude (Lawyers) is practicing law in Los Angeles, California. This lawyer is listed on Lawyer Map under the main category All Law Firms in Lawyers.
You can reach us on phone number (213) 381-2200, fax number or email address . Our office is located on 3540 Wilshire Blvd, #1115, Los Angeles, CA,
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In a little over two weeks, Merrill Lynch will be celebrating its 100th anniversary, a milestone that corporations in a dynamic economy filled with mergers, acquisitions and bankruptcy seldom achieve.
In fact, Merrill quite nearly didn't make it. Had it not been taken over by Bank of America, the firm would have expired before turning 95.
It is with that very recent adversity in mind, and its older glorious past, that a former Merrill executive and the son of one of its founders has written a book, just released, called "Catching Lightning in a Bottle: How Merrill Lynch Revolutionized the Financial World."
"I didn't want Merrill Lynch remembered for the bad days of 2007 and 2008 when it had to be rescued by Bank of America," says Win Smith Jr., the son of Winthrop Smith, co-founder of Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith.
Himself a career Merrill employee until he broke with the firm — voluntarily resigning in 2002 — Smith told ThinkAdvisor he wanted to explain how precious and unique was Mother Merrill's culture before it got derailed in the previous decade by a new leadership of which he is sharply critical.
No less a personage than former SEC chairman Arthur Levitt praised Smith's book, saying "no novel could be as captivating," and noted its author's frankness in assessing the leadership failures that nearly did in the firm.
Former Merrill CEO E. Stanley O'Neal is the book's chief villain, but its many heroes include founder Charlie Merrill and Smith's father.
"In 1929, [Merrill] was prescient in seeing the bubble on Wall Street and people being far too in debt and overleveraged. He got his customers out of debt and out of the market," Smith says.
The ensuing market crash shattered confidence in the stock market — but Smith's father, then working for E.A. Pierce, to whom Merrill had sold his interest in the business — shared a vision with Merrill for restoring trust in the markets and popularizing investing, which was then the province of a small minority of Americans.
"The average American didn't understand how to invest and didn't trust Wall Street, and Wall Street needed a lot of reform in order for the average investor to invest safely. So they recapitalized the Pierce organization and became Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith," he says. (At an earlier point in its merger history, the firm had the name Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Beane.)
Merrill was the CEO, but when the first of several heart attacks induced him to step down, Smith's father assumed day-to-day leadership of the firm, speaking daily with Merrill until his death and running the firm until his own passing in 1961.
"As opposed to the extravagance of today, he carpooled to work. Instead of vacationing in the Hamptons, he went to farm in Connecticut where he raised sheep," Smith says of his father.
What made the firm unique, Smith says, is a set of five core principles and a culture that Merrill and Smith fostered, which the firm's other employees all embraced.
Those principles were that "the client's interests had to come first; you have to have respect for all employees; you need to foster a climate of teamwork; you have to have responsible involvement in your community; and integrity," he enumerates.
"I and my colleagues felt those were our North Star. When we made mistakes, those principles brought us back," he says, since they were transmitted through corporate lore that included accounts of how Merrill's leadership would correct mistakes, making good on customer losses, for example, that the firm's leaders regretted.
However individually different Merrill's leaders were, they shared those stories and those values, he says, until Stan O'Neal became its CEO and chairman in 2003. That same year O'Neal gave an interview to the New York Times in which he described "Mother Merrill…as a club," which O'Neal said was out of place in modern commerce, but which Smith says Merrill employees interpreted as "totally disparaging."
Apart from setting a different tone, it was a radically different course of management that most alarmed Merrill veterans, Smith says.
At the time O'Neal assumed leadership of the firm, Merrill had become "one of the top if not the top global financial services firms" with record-beating return on equity, $1.5 trillion in assets under management, the top spot in global debt and equity underwriting for 48 consecutive quarters and its stock priced at an all-time high.
"It's hard to say that record was in need of the dramatic reorganization" that O'Neal imposed, he says.
O'Neal made massive cuts in the organization, including mass layoffs among the firm's financial advisors, taking a $1.8 billion one-time write-off.
"He cut out businesses we had spent decades building" — businesses that could not avail the company when the Street began its post-dot-com recovery, Smith says.
"In 2003-2005, he realized we needed to generate profits so he moved into subprimes and CDOs. Merrill Lynch became one of most exposed firms on the Street in just a few years. By the time Merrill Lynch collapsed, he had taken our leverage ratio from 13 to 1 to nearly 36 to 1, which was basically unsurvivable. No other leader would have cut into the muscle of the organization. No other leader would ever have gotten into those businesses," Smith laments.
Smith says Merrill's board of directors at that time shared in the blame, with no one on the board thinking to contact him or any other Merrill veterans to ask why they were resigning. Worst of all, though, was O'Neal's golden parachute, making his departure as controversial as his tenure.
"After O'Neal brought the firm down, they let him walk away with $162 million in severance, when the public as well as Merrill's employees were wiped out."
Smith does not see the solemnity of a contract as a defense in this case.
"I was head of HR [for a time]. I designed compensation plans. [O'Neal got that package because] they allowed him to retire…If they had fired him for cause, which would have been justifiable under the circumstances, that stock would not have vested and he would not walk away with all that money," Smith says.
The Merrill founder's son, who had risen to executive vice president and chairman of Merrill Lynch International when he left the firm after 28 years, has praise for O'Neal's successor, ex-Goldman Sachs exec John Thain, who led the firm after Bank of America's acquisition.
"He really tried to restore an appreciation of the history and values of the firm" and to rebuild after the beating the firm and its stockholders took.
What lessons does Smith derive from Merrill's century-long history?
"I think it's very important to understand the power of a culture and the power of values."
Smith cites executive compensation as one example of that culture, saying that while no rules prevented Merrill's leaders from selling their stock, executives didn't do so because it was part of the culture; moreover, a third of the stock was held by employees when he worked at the firm, and more than half of executives' pay was in stock, so the leadership at that time shepherded the firm with a view toward long-term results, in contrast to the year-to-year mentality of the O'Neal era.
Another lesson: "When looking at leaders, don't look only at skills and technical abilities; look also at character," he says.
Smith also offers words of encouragement for today's financial advisors:
"There is always going to be place for a good, trusted financial advisor—no matter how much the world has changed…
"Good advisors put the client's interests first; don't do anything that involves a conflict of interest. The best advisors are charging fees, not commissions; they're not selling products but understanding client needs; the best advisors today are working in teams, not trying to be all things to all people. I think those things were true in the past and true today," he says.
As to Merrill's upcoming centenary celebration on January 6, Smith muses:
"I think it's a marvelous day; when you think about how many firms last 100 years, you really can't count too many…
"I'd tell the people at Merrill Lynch [it's] time to reflect on the history and understand there's another 100 years ahead of us."


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Accept OEM AND ODM designs
We also have a talent design team that can work out your ideas. you can send us the design, then we design the sample for you.
Let's get thing done.
1 set/ polyfoam with box, 24 sets/ export standard master box of Square Ceramic design jewelry dish in marble pattern
As per your demand( your percentage of packing; your design of color box or gift box, etc.)
Round ceramic custom made white jewelry box with gold letter printing
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Small order is supported with our large stock to help start YOUR BUSINESS.
Our draw designer will draw for you the 1st time if you can tell us your own idea.
The period for developing is about 10 days and we will check every progress with u.
3) For Our Client
Big buyers: We will provide you the best price, which will not higher than other buyer in your nation.
Wholesaler: A full container goods is more profitable for you.
Retailer: Lower MOQ for our stock items is offered to support you. The price will be a little higher, while the MOQ is small. Extra LCL fee is needed. But it's better to reach one full container to save shipping costs.
Our customers from all over the world ,Main market: The United States, Russia, Canada, Saudi Arabia, South America, the Middle East.
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ISO9001, SGS test passed
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Globalize our items.
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Make your purchasing easier and faster.
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The Best Price and quality guaranteed.
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QWhen can I get the price?
We usually quote within 24 hours after we get your inquiry. If you are very urgent to get the price, please call us by +86 15860550613.
QAre your samples free or need cost?
Actually it depends on the products. For low value products, we will provide free samples, freight collect. But for some high value samples, it needs sample cost and freight collect. Pls informed that all samples cost can be returned back to you after order placed. You're welcomed to email us for checking.
QHow can I get a sample to check your quality?
After price confirmation, you can require for samples to check our quality.
QCan you do the designs for us?
Yes. We have a professional team with rich experience in packaging box design and manufacturing. We can manufacture the products as per your requirements.
QHow long can I expect to get the sample?
It will be ready for delivery in 7-10 days for OEM design. We also can send you immediately if the samples are in stock. The samples will be sent to you by express. You can use your own express account or prepay us if you do not have an account.
Cidian Porcelain Co., Ltd is an ISO 9001:2008 and SGS certificated manufacture supplying OEM and ODM porcelain/ceramic/pottery products like Porcelain bank, Ceramic gift, Coffee mug, Ceramic Vase, Ceramic fairy/angel, Candle Holder, Ceramic decorations, Holiday gifts, Garden Decorations, Kitchen ware and Ceramic artware items for more than 20 years, and we launch into global market since 2011.
Having a full array of advanced equipments and well-trained workers enables us to custom designs and
manufactures whether small or large order quantity within a short lead time. And thanks to our high-quality products and solution-focused after-sales service, we've gained rapidly an excellent reputation among customers across the world.
Best Quality, Best Service, Best Price are our mission for our customers.
We welcome new and old customers from all walks of life to contact us for future business relationships and mutual success!
Email: firstname.lastname@example.com Tel: +86 158 6075 0613 (Whats app) Skype/Facebook:jonzhuang1991


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The most obscene word in English, in my opinion, has 3 letters and is an acronym. It's TPA (stands for Tissue Plasminogen Activator).
This drug gets a lot of press as a clotbuster. It has the potential to break down clots and reverse a stroke. That potential, though, has a dark side. By breaking down clots it can also cause catastrophic bleeding into the brain.
So as a result I'm not a fan of this drug. I use it very judiciously, and with a solid understanding by the family and patient of what they are getting into. It can lead to great rewards- and serious complications.
Compounding this is the fact that the drug MUST be given within 3 hours of a defined stroke onset, or the risk of bleeding really goes up. So if I'm told that the symptoms started at 1:45, then a clock immediately starts running, and if the drug isn't given by 4:45, then it ain't gonna be. So in that 3 hour window I need to get to ER, confer with the ER doc, assess the patient, get a CT scan and labs, explain the situation and drug (and it's dangers) to the family/patient, and get their understanding and approval (or refusal) to give it.
So those 3 hours become a very frantic, fast-paced blur. It's even worse if the patient gets to ER 1 hour after this started, so then I only have 2 hours to work with.
And with that background, I now present "TPA- A Play", which was performed this weekend at Local Hospital.
Our play opens in ER, where our hero, Dr. Grumpy, has just arrived. The patient is an elderly gentleman with abrupt onset of speech difficulties and right-sided weakness at noon. He got to ER at 1:30, our hero was called at 1:45, and arrived in ER at 2:00. He's hurriedly examined the patient and met with the wife, and discussed the risks & benefits of TPA.
(Curtain rises)
2:15 p.m. Dr. Grumpy: "What are your thoughts about this treatment, or any other questions?"
Mrs. Smith: "Let me call our children."
Mrs. Smith then whips out a cell phone, frantically calling people all over the country, leaving messages on their voice mail, then calling back to see if they've picked up their voice mail yet. Dr. Grumpy wanders back to nurses' station to review labs.
2:22 p.m. Nurse says wife wants Dr. Grumpy to come discuss this with the patient again. Because of the stroke Mr. Smith is unable to speak or understand speech, but Dr. Grumpy attempts to do so anyway. He reminds Mrs. Smith of the urgency of the situation. She continues to make phone calls. Dr. Grumpy goes back to nurses' station.
2:28 p.m. Mrs. Smith reaches a daughter, and tries to explain situation to her. Then gives cell phone to Dr. Grumpy to explain to daughter.
2:29 p.m. Daughter becomes hysterical and asks to talk to her mother again.
2:31 p.m. Mrs. Smith hands phone to Mr. Smith, and tells him to explain his symptoms to the daughter. The unfortunate stroke patient can't speak, just stares at phone, saying nothing. Dr. Grumpy leaves the room to keep from breaking down, again reminds wife of urgency.
2:35 p.m. 4 minute attempt to get Mr. Smith to talk to daughter on cell phone ends, with no decision. Highlight was when Mrs. Smith turned up the volume on the cell phone, figuring that might help patient understand daughter better. The look on Mr. Smith's face makes it apparent he's suddenly regretting his choice of spouse.
2:38 p.m. ER volunteer says wife wants Dr. Grumpy to come back and explain to patient for 2nd time what is going on. He good-naturedly attempts to do so. Mrs. Smith repeats everything Dr. Grumpy says, screaming loudly into patients ear, hoping that will help. Dr. Grumpy has a fleeting image of Garrett Morris doing "News for the Deaf" on SNL in 1975. Again reminds wife of urgency.
2:41 p.m. Parents of screaming child in room next door ask Mrs. Smith to stop yelling at Mr. Smith, as it's upsetting their child. She goes into their room to argue with them.
2:43 p.m. Mrs. Smith starts making more phone calls. Dr. Grumpy reminds her of urgency.
2:44 p.m. Dr. Grumpy goes back to nurses' station, asks staff to play the "Jeopardy!" theme over the loudspeaker.
2:46 p.m. Mrs. Smith somehow decides that the reason she can only reach voice mails is because the cell phone reception inside the hospital is poor.
2:47 p.m. Dr. Grumpy goes back to see if Mrs. Smith has made a decision. Discovers she's absent from room.
2:49 p.m. Dr. Grumpy and nurses stand at window, incredulously watching Mrs. Smith walk across the street and get in line at a Starbucks, still frantically dialing phone numbers.
2:55 p.m. Mrs. Smith gets a coffee and starts coming back to ER. She walks in front of an oncoming ambulance, which slams on it's brakes and swerves to avoid flattening her. Mrs. Smith goes over and pounds on the driver's side window to cuss out the driver, arguing with him in the middle of the street.
2:58 p.m. Mrs. Smith attempts to enter ER again through ambulance entrance, which only opens for a paramedic or hospital ID. She frantically knocks and waves at the paramedic who she just finished cussing out. They get into another argument about which of them needs to pay better attention.
3:01 p.m. Mrs. Smith finally finds way back to patient room, asks nurses to call Dr. Grumpy.
3:03 p.m. Mrs. Smith says she's made a decision. She wants to do whatever Dr. Grumpy thinks she should do. Dr. Grumpy informs her that he is not going to do anything, as the TPA window has closed. Mrs. Smith asks Dr. Grumpy where she can get some sugar for her coffee.
(Curtain falls).


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February 4, 2014—A consumer wellness products and lifestyle company is making big plans for 2014 global expansion. It Works! skincare and body contouring products are available Feb. 1 in Denmark, Finland, Germanyand Spain, and in March, Norway and Switzerland.
That puts It Works! in 18 countries total.
"We continue to see more opportunities for It Works! to expand worldwide," said CEO Mark B. Pentecost. "Our domestic growth in the United States demonstrates that we have a unique opportunity for It Works! products and independent distributors through expansion internationally. People across the globe desire instant-results while maintaining a healthy body inside and out."
It Works! is also improving its systems in the 12 countries where it already operates. In the first quarter, It Works! is adding an additional warehouse in Europe. So that customers may receive products quickly and efficiently, Canada and Australia will receive in-country shipping from new It Works! facilities, and Australia's economy is getting a boost with recently announced in-country manufacturing.
Pentecost made these announcements at the company's annual conference in Tampa, where 10,000 people attended Freedom 2014 at the Tampa Convention Center. The conference had a $2.3 million economic impact, according to local convention bureau executives.
In November 2013, It Works! launched in France, making that the 12th country where the company does business.
Founded in 2001, It Works! is one of the fastest-growing consumer lifestyle direct sales companies. Inc. ranked It Works! No. 436 on its 500 list for 2013. The company is enjoying a 1047-percent growth over the past three years. It Works! debuted at No. 56 on the Direct Selling News Global 100, the annual industry ranking produced by Direct Selling News magazine. It Works! offers a variety of daily-use, instant-results products, including its signature and unique It Works! Wrap, a contouring product that can tighten, tone and firm any area of the body in just 45 minutes. The company currently offers 31 health and beauty products, and pays commissions to more than 60,000 independent distributors worldwide. Visit www.itworksglobal.com for additional information.


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|Fullerton Ave. Stock:
Wall Fan Only Slider Control is for use with Modern Fan fans.
The Modern Fan Company stands alone in bringing original design and innovation to the ceiling fan industry. The designs celebrate the modern idiom trough mechanical simplification, geometric forms and contemporary finishes. In 1986, Ron Rezek was approached with the idea of updating the 100-year-old ceiling fan. An accomplished industrial designer with successes in areas from lighting and furniture to rescue equipment, Rezek recognized thet he could introduce contemporary design to the ceiling fan market. The Stratos fan was born and forged the path for an evolution in ceiling fan design.See more from Modern Fan Co.


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May 2, 2019
- Accepting Submissions for SITREP: Veteran Perspectives on Combat and Peace
- Time: All Day
- Location: Electronically
- Description: We are so thrilled to be entering our fifth year and fifth issue of SITREP: Veteran Perspectives on Combat and Peace. Submissions accepted until May 20, 2019.
- Related Web Site: English Department
- Contact Information:
Barb Lawhorn
Phone: 309-298-2754
Email: email@example.com
- Source: Department of English


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(At Santa's House in Zelienople, the following letter was given to Santa Claus. Santa, who reads all the letters he receives from boys and girls, thought this one was very special. She is not asking for anything for herself.)
"Dear Santa,
"For Christmas I would really like all those children that lost their lives in the shooting to be OK up in Heaven with God. I hope that God has gained 26 more innocent, beautiful angels.
"It was so sad hearing about them get shot. I want all of those families to get a bunch of presents and money, with love and care.
"Let's try to help those people who have lost their loved ones.
"They will always be in our hearts, and watch us from above.
"Let every one have a very Merry Christmas. God bless you all."


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Celebrity News For March 3, 2015 | Early Edition
Khloé Kardashian Wants to Join Fashion Police
- Is Khloé Kardashian set to replace Kelly Osbourne? — People
- Bobbi Kristina Brown's family is reportedly shooting a reality show — Us Weekly
- Inside Justin Bieber's wild 21st birthday — Gossip Girl
- Ashton Kutcher may be switching career paths — OK!
- This Jenner reveals she's more spiritual than materialistic — HuffPost Celebrity
- Tom Hanks explains how he landed a role in Carly Rae Jepsen's music video — ET
- Madonna is spotted in Milan promoting her album Rebel Heart — Lainey Gossip
- Nick Jonas on his first song that he auditioned with at 6 years old — BuzzFeed