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Sacha Pfeiffer was part of the Boston Globe's Spotlight investigative team, which won the Pulitzer Prize for Public Service in 2003 for exposing the Roman Catholic Church's cover-up of clergy sex abuse. The story behind the reporting was made into the 2015 Oscar-winning film, Spotlight. This interview with Pfeiffer is from a February 2017 community conversation about the importance of asking difficult questions, even when the answers threaten the fabric of close-knit communities.
This program will be rebroadcast on Wednesday, Oct. 4, at 11:00 pm and Sunday, Oct. 8, at 4:00 pm.
My job has given me an incredibly joyful and meaningful life. I get paid to ask questions for a living. How much fun is that? It's always interesting. You get access to all sorts of worlds. And I've also learned, because of some of the work we've done, that on a very good day, you can also do incredible positive change. And so, I hope tonight, part of what we can do is celebrate journalism. Because as all of you know, if you've paid attention to the news, it's a very perilous time for the journalism world. You know, the newspaper industry has had financially catastrophic sort of turn of events in recent years, essentially a collapsed business model that it's still trying to figure out how to replace. And at the same time, we have a political climate now in which the press is sort of portrayed as the enemy.
Sasha Pfeiffer was one of five journalists on The Boston Globe's elite investigative team called Spotlight. That's also the title of the Academy Award-winning film about the reporters' shocking findings with a transformational outcome. The Spotlight team never could have predicted that they would expose an almost unimaginable conspiracy that reached far beyond Boston's Roman Catholic Diocese. Their pursuit of clergy sex abuse was controversial. But the newspaper built its case on the weight of evidence. The power of truth telling in our conversation with Sacha Pfeiffer, next, on Long Story Short.
Long Story Short with Leslie Wilcox is Hawai'i's first weekly television program produced and broadcast in high definition.
Aloha mai kakou. I'm Leslie Wilcox. For this edition of Long Story Short, we'll take you to a special event in Honolulu organized by the Hawai'i Leadership Forum before an audience. Our guest is Pulitzer Prize-winning Boston Glove journalist, Sacha Pfeiffer, who was played in the Oscar-winning movie Spotlight by actress Rachel McAdams. As part of an investigative team, Pfeiffer interviewed men in Boston who told of being sexually abused as children, sometimes for years, by Roman Catholic priests. What emerged was a pervasive Church culture that tolerated, and even protected child molesters. And not only in Boston. Sacha Pfeiffer joined us for a conversation about truth telling, and truth to power journalism.
How's the cake?
It's pretty good. You saving yours?
Nah. I can never eat those things. They kind of oppress me.
I know. From Washington?
Very interesting.
I'm not asking you to. All I'm asking is, who's behind it. M-hm. Okay; I get it. You don't want to talk. No, Dad, I'm not mad, I'm hungry. I've been talking here so long, I didn't eat lunch. So, I'm gonna go get something to eat, and that'll give you an hour to decide whether you want to be on the right side of this, or read about it like everybody else. Bye, Dad.
You think Cahill has something?
Maybe. I just don't think the story is for us.
Ben likes it.
Yeah, it's not bad. It's just not Spotlight.
What's just not Spotlight?
The PD numbers.
The numbers.
Oh. You got Cahill to talk?
No, but I will.
You did your investigative reporting on the Spotlight team on clergy sex abuse in the most Catholic city in the country, by percentage.
And I think most all of the reporters involved were lapsed Catholics.
You were also a Protestant, and I think you lapsed there too. And much was made in the Spotlight movie about the outsider coming in, the Jewish guy running the paper and saying, You guys need to explore that.
Could you talk a little bit about that?
Yeah; this is in reference to Marty Baron, who was the editor of The Globe when I was there, and who is now the executive editor of The Washington Post, a paper that's doing some of the most dynamic work in the country right now. And, yeah. And Marty is a tremendous, tremendous leader. He's an exceptional leader, he's a very gift editor. He has this incredibly pure moral compass, which I really love about Marty. The movie makes a lot of Marty having been Jewish. I think they took a little fictional license there. I mean, I think, yes, they wanted to portray sort of the outsider. But I think what Marty showed is that sometimes when you bring a set of fresh eyes to something, it makes an enormous difference. I mean, we began our project because there had been a priest named John Geoghan who had a long history of abusing kids, and there were many lawsuits filed against him. All those cases had been sealed in the court. The Church asked the court to seal the cases, the court did. Marty came to town from the Miami Herald, and he said, Why are these cases sealed? And there was this uncomfortable silence in this news meeting, because all of us were so used to just accepting that those files are sealed, we can't access them, that we hadn't questioned it. So, Marty told the Spotlight team, Go find out what you can. And at the same time, he asked The Globe's lawyers to try to unseal those files, which they successfully did after several months. So, I think again, fresh eyes can make a difference in coming to a place that's been used to the same thing for a long time.
I'm sure you knew when you started poking around, and you started going to press, that you would become targets. Who are these people? What's the vendetta about?
Because Boson is so Catholic, we were worried that we might be picketed, or there would be protests. We got none of that. And I think that part of why that didn't happen is that, you know, we were able to get into the Arch Diocese of Boston's file cabinets. We were able to access all of their clergy personnel records. So, these weren't stories based on anonymous sources; these were record by the Church itself. And I think that when a project is that bulletproof, it makes it hard to blame the messenger.
I guess it was Mr. Baron who had the idea of, Don't go after individual priests because we've heard of individual priests for so long; go after how the Church institution treated the priests. And you showed evidence of passing priests. They call it passing the trash, or mobile molesters, from jurisdiction to jurisdiction.
Yeah. I mean, this was Marty's mantra. Is that, you know, for years, The Globe and other publications had written stories about priests that abused children. We were looking not simply at that, but about Church officials who cover up for priests who abused children, who systematically would get reports, and then shift priests to other places. And in the pre-internet era, if you sent someone thirty miles north of Boston, the people who lived thirty miles south of Boston would lose that person. You wouldn't know where they went. So, that was our goal the whole time, is to focus on the system.
I know what you must be thinking. Like, why would I ever do that to some creepy guy who's thirty years older than me? But what we have to understand is that this is the first time in my life that someone told me that it was okay to be gay.
And it was a priest. I'm sorry; I knew I was gonna do this. Oh, I'm sorry.
Don't be sorry. It's okay. Joe, it's okay.
Of course, there is a church right there, and a playground.
Joe, did you ever try and tell anyone?
Like who; a priest?
You know, often reporters are doing stories as a team, they get really excited about nailing an interview, or catching someone in a lie, and you see high-fives. But this is not the kind of series that would produce that kind of rejoicing.
No. I mean, it was pretty sombering. And, you know, we had some very dad, intense conversations with adult men who, when they were adolescents or children, had been abused by priest. And again, very intense, very emotional. But, you know, you also become angry, because you realize someone has been damaged at a formative time in their life, and it's hard to recover from that. And I think anger is a motivational tool, and that's what it was for us.
The most haunting moment in the film to me—and when you get a chance to ask questions, please mention yours if it's appropriate—I think it was Father Paquin. And I think you knocked on his door, and he told you, I was just fooling around.
Hi, there. I'm looking for Ronald Paquin.
You're Father Paquin?
Yes, that's right.
I'm Sacha Pfeiffer from The Boston Globe.
Could I ask you a few questions?
Go ahead; yes.
We spoke to several men who knew you when they were boys at St. John the Baptist in Haverhill. They told us you molested them. Is that true?
Sure; I fooled around. But I never felt gratified, myself.
Right. But you admit to molesting boys at St. John the Baptist?
Yes, yes. But as I said, I never got any pleasure from it. That's important to understand.
Yeah. You know, a lot of people have asked whether I thought that priest had dementia. And I don't think so. I think you really just saw this twisted rationalization for why they did what they did. I think for me, the biggest unanswered question is the why. I mean, there are many theories about why it happened, but that's a really hard one to answer.
And you devoted some of your coverage to why.
Oh, we did. I mean, we ended up writing for about a year and a half about this issue. And we didn't just write about priests who abused children; we basically followed the story as it tentacled. So, we looked at why did this happen, was it because the lady wasn't very involved, was it because women couldn't be priests, if women had been more involved would this not have happened. As the Arch Diocese of Boston began settling a lot of cases, it hurt the Church financially. So, we wrote about the Church being on the brink of bankruptcy, the Cardinal resigned eventually. So, it became a daily beat, essentially. You know, when I joined the Spotlight team, Spotlight had been known for basically doing a story or two a year, maybe. They came in at nine, and they left at five, which is very rare in the newspaper world. And someone had said to me, Enjoy your early retirement. Which I thought was funny. But my experience with Spotlight was nothing like retirement, because basically, once that story broke, it became a daily beat, a competitive beat, where national newspapers were following it. So, it was very intense.
This event is called The Transformative Power of Truth Telling. What kinds of results did you see from this one and a half or two-year investigation?
You know, I think this will sound so basic. But in way, the gigantic lesson of this project was the importance of questioning authority. Part of why this happened is that the Catholic Church in Boston had so much deference that people looked the other way; they stopped asking questions. My grandmother, who's depicted in the movie, was so devout.
Sacha, can I have a drink of water?
Yeah; sure, Nana. Yeah.
And I remember that when the story came out, she said to me, I can't believe this happened, because we all though the priests were little gods. And I remember thinking, And that's why it happened. Because when you think someone is a god, you're not going to ask tough questions, and even if you suspect that something's not right you might look the other way. So, I think it's an important reminder to all of us for why we need to ask very difficult questions of people in high places.
And I'm sure some journalists in here remember there were calls in Hawaii to newsrooms, where it would be somebody who didn't identify himself, he seemed very much in pain, maybe stuttered, and he would say, I was abused by a priest. He would say the priest's name, but he didn't want to say the timeframe, and he said there were no witnesses, and he didn't tell anyone at the time, and no, he didn't talk to the police, he didn't speak to a lawyer. And he didn't want his name used. So, what are you gonna do with that? So, it really required a different approach. And of course, later, as these boys grew up, they did seek out lawyers; some of them.
Yeah. You know, the movie makes clear that probably The Globe could have done these stories earlier than it did. But I think in a way, it ended up beneficial that we waited 'til we did. Because first of all, it was the very beginning of the internet era, so our stories went online, and instead of being read only by people who got The Globe delivered to their doorstep, they were read by people all over the country. So, our phones began ringing off the hook with people from Washington State, Texas, Maine, Florida, saying you know, I was also abused by Father Paquin, I was also abused by Father Birminghan. So, confirmation came from around the country. And I think that Boston was more ready to accept a story like this. I'm not sure if we had written these stories in the 60s, or 70s, or even 80s, when the deference was still so high, that they could have accepted it, and maybe The Globe would have been picketed and protested. But I think the city was ready.
Was there corporate pressure? Okay, enough of the series, enough about the Catholic Church?
No, you know, there was one editor who, after we had been writing for a few months, felt like, Is this enough? But he basically was overruled, and several months after that, Cardinal Law resigned. Which I think showed you that we were right to keep up with it. But no, other than that, I would say no pressure. I think that we recognized the story had to be done.
What's up?
Another time, Jim. There are cover-up stories on seventy priests. But the boss isn't gonna run it unless I get confirmation from your side.
Are you out of your mind?
Come on. This is our town, Jimmy. Everybody knew something was going on, and no one did a thing. We've got to put an end to it.
Don't tell me what I gotta do. Yeah, I helped defend these scumbags, but that's my job, Robby. I was doing my job.
Yeah. You and everyone else.
I think we were all conscious that this was gonna take a toll of sorts on our family members, potentially. But it didn't make us feel that we couldn't do it. My mom, who's also very Catholic—I think I told you this earlier. She wanted to be a nun, but at the time, convents were cloistered, so once you went in, you could only come out about three times or so. And her mother begged her not to do it, not to become a nun. And so, I remember that my mom, I didn't hear from her for a while after our stories began to be published. And I think that my mom had to make peace with the fact that her daughter had played a role in something that was damaging to this institution she loved, even though I think she recognized that that story had to be told.
When reporters start on a story like this, they have a pretty good idea of at least how it's gonna start. Did it take you to places you didn't expect?
Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't think any of us ever imagined it could possibly be at this scale. I mean, early on, we realized there may be as many as seven priests, and that seemed shocking to us. And then, in a few weeks, we realized the number was probably twenty. And then, by the time we published, we knew it was seventy. And then, we quickly learned that actually, it was hundreds. So, I think we went into this having absolutely no idea what we would find.
What did you find when you asked the question, Why? Why so much molestation?
Well, I mean, I think that there are so many theories for that. But I think that what I believe played a role is that, at least back in the 50s, and 60s, and 70s, boys who were gonna become priests actually went to pre-seminary. So, sometimes, you went to priest school, essentially, as early as age twelve. And I think that you're at this formative stage in your adolescence in terms of your sexuality, and I think everything became sort of stunted in a way. There was a psychotherapist who was depicted in the movie who talked about … that it was sort of a version of arrested development. And I think you end up having these very immature priests who weren't sure how to have relationships, and I think it expressed itself in an incredibly tragic way.
What did you see of the victims? I mean, after they were grown up, and they'd been in adult life for some time, what were they like?
You know, I think all of us know that sexual abuse is one of the most terrible things that can happen to someone, and if it's also by a leader person and authority like a priest, it's even more damaging. And so, I think that it's hard to ever recover from that. And we saw that.
And these boys were pretty sure that other people knew that they were being taken to a rector's office or a church office. It was a pattern, but nobody spoke up for them.
Yeah. Or sometimes, people did speak up, and they weren't believed. Their parents may not believe them. And that, I think, compounded the tragedy. So, it was a culture of secrecy.
I'm Sacha Pfeiffer from The Boston Globe.
Yeah; what do you want?
I'd like to speak with Thomas Kennedy.
He doesn't live here anymore.
Do you know where he lives? Sir, I'd just like to ask a few—
Sacha Pfeiffer, Boston Globe.
Oh, yeah. Hi.
Hi. Thank you. Anything else you can recall?
No. But I got a cousin in Quincy; she saw him on the street a few years later.
The bishop came over the house. He said nothing like this had ever happened before, and he asked us not press charges.
And what did your mother do?
My mother? She put out fricking cookies.
Here, we saw a couple of priests who were named in lawsuits and in accusations. And one molested someone for quite some time, and then mentioned him to someone else, and that person picked it up. It was really hard to hear about.
Yeah. After our stories began to run, I got a few calls from people who would say things to the effect of, What was in the water in Boston, why did your priests have these issues? But they were missing the point, which is that in almost every city in which this has been looked into, it happened. And it was just a systematic problem, and if you had the ability to get into the files, you would often find out it happened in every city where there was a major Catholic presence.
What is an investigative journalist? Because other reporters who are assigned to other areas of coverage, they do stories. What's the difference?
Yeah. I mean, many people believe, and I think I agree with this, that there really shouldn't be a distinction between a reporter and an investigative reporter. There are some people whose fulltime job is just to do long-term investigative stories. But really, any beat you have in addition to the daily news and the feature stories you're looking for, ideally the beat reporter would be looking for investigative stories to do as well. So, there's no argument that there's no distinction.
You work for a commercial newspaper, and we have nonprofit news folks here. Any thoughts on what business model is best to get journalism that truly matters?
No. I mean, I think that is the question that everyone is trying to figure out right now. What is the new business model? I mean, it used to be that if you were a department store and you wanted to advertiser, if you wanted to place a classified ad, you went to your newspaper. That all changed with things like Craigslist; right? So, no one quite has figured out how to replace that business model, but that's the key, I think, to making the industry survive.
One of our attendees has a question, which follows right along. What would you like to see happen to the news, going forward? What would you like to see it evolve into?
That's such a big, broad question. I mean, I just hope the news survives. I hope that people realize that it's worth paying for. And for those of you who are digital subscribers or print subscribers to a newspaper, thank you. If you're not, I feel like every time I have a captive audience, I can't help but give that sales pitch. You know, when you buy a newspaper or you make a contribution to an organized nonprofit like Civil Beat, that's what pays for the reporters to do what they do. So, I hope that you realize that there's a direct connection between keeping the news alive and being a subscriber or a donor.
Another question from the audience. After your courageous investigation, what have you learned about people? Are we basically good, and if so, what do we make of the evil that people are capable of committing?
That's another one hard to answer. I guess I'd just go back to what I said earlier, which is, we have to always be willing to ask very tough questions of powerful people and powerful institution, and nonprofits, and businesses. You know, tonight, we're talking about truth telling. And that's really what I think journalism is. So, we just have to be always willing to question authority and ask tough questions.
What are some of the areas that most need sunshine or transparency in truth telling?
Government, always. Because I think, unfortunately, what often motivates people to go into government and politics is not a sense of public service, but power and access. So, I think that that makes it very important for us to keep tabs on that. I definitely believe the nonprofit sector is one, because too often, it does get a pass. And obviously businesses. I mean, I think everything.
Do journalists take oaths of ethics, like lawyers or doctors, the Hippocratic oath?
We don't officially, but it's a job that involves an enormous amount of judgment and ethics all the time. What we cover, how we cover it, when we stop covering it. You know, you have people tell you very sensitive information, and we interview children. I mean, there's an enormous of amount judgment, and that's why you need to make sure you have reporters with high ethics, and editors with high ethics.
The New York Times is using headlines that say, Trump Lies. That's a policy now. What do you think about that? You know, it's not your policy, it's the paper, but what about—
I think it has to be case-by-case. But I think sometimes, we have to call things for what they are. And you know, Marty Baron, again, the former Globe reporter now with The Post. You know, President Trump has said that he's at war with the press. And as Marty said, and it's beautifully said; We're not at war, we're just at work. You know. I mean, that's …
Great line; great line.
It is a great line.
These are two kind of related questions. What are some of the investigative stories you most admire, and why?
I think I admire all of it. I think, you know, when you do investigative reporting, it probably is gonna keep you out of the paper or off the air for a while. And that makes reporters feel uneasy, because you're judged in part by your productivity. So, you have to hope you have the backing of a strong editor and publisher who recognizes that you may not see your byline for a while, you may not see that person on the air for a while, but hopefully what they deliver will have been worth the time.
Here's another question from an attendee. Given your experience, what do you think warrants deeper investigation in terms of investigative reporting? What's the contemporary iceberg that we need to go deep and see?
I think the past few months have clearly showed us government. I mean, it's gonna be harder than ever to get information. And the other interesting thing is … I think that there's also another thing the media is going through is trying to decide, Okay, what is the value of sitting through a presidential briefing? You know, someone has suggested that maybe you send the interns to the briefing, they take down what was said, and really, what the reporters need to do now is do all the tough digging, and have to rely on civil servants to give them information. It's a very challenging time to be a reporter right now.
It is. And we've seen in debates and in other live coverage, a reporter will miss a factual mistake by a newsmaker, and then get called on the carpet for it.
Right. The media critic for The Washington Post is a woman named Margaret Sullivan. She used to be with The New York Times. And I think it was Margaret that wrote recently about how some of the NPR hosts, who are excellent, when they do live interviews, you can have a situation where the person you're interviewing says something that is incorrect. And even if you're very prepared for that interview, you may not realize that something incorrect was just said, and it's almost virtually impossible to correct after it's been said in that forum. So now, there's a debate out; should they be doing fewer live interviews, since you don't have the ability to fact check in time. Because of all the changes happening politically, it's making the media have to really rethink about it does its job.
After sharing the 2003 Pulitzer Prize for public service with The Boston Globe's Spotlight team, Sacha Pfeiffer left the newspaper in 2008 as the paper struggled financially. For six years, she worked for Boston's Public Radio Station. At the time of this conversation in 2017, she's back at The Globe writing about wealth, philanthropy, and nonprofits. Sacha Pfeiffer is a gifted journalist and author who is matter-of-fact about speaking truth to power. We've been very fortunate to share an evening with her in Honolulu. Mahalo to the Hawai'i Leadership Forum for conceiving and organizing this event. I'm Leslie Wilcox with PBS Hawai'i and Long Story Short. Aloha, a hui hou.
For audio and written transcripts of all episodes of Long Story Short with Leslie Wilcox, visit PBSHawaii.org. To download free podcasts of Long Story Short with Leslie Wilcox, go to the Apple iTunes store, or visit PBSHawaii.org.
I think they did a …
You know, what was really interesting was, most people only get to see these movie stars on the red carpet or in a movies. We got to see them prepare for these roles, and it was really impressive to see the amount of work they did. I mean, they spent time with all of us individually, we spent a lot of time socializing with them. And I realized later, what I thought was socializing was research for them. I mean, we all of a sudden were seeing mannerisms depicted on the screen, and we began to realize all the time they spent with us, they were dissecting, they were observing, they were analyzing.
So, they work hard to be as good as they are.


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Hi Loves! I'm a bzzagent and had the chance to try out some makeup and let people know what I think of it. This review is for Neutrogena's new foundation – Nourishing Long Wear Makeup.
Here's Neutrogena's Description: $14.99
New Neutrogena® Nourishing Long Wear Makeup gives you smooth, even, long-lasting coverage as it works to actually improve skin's natural tone. The 12 hour long wear makeup instantly erases the look of skin imperfections as it provides natural-looking coverage. It has a Tone Correcting Complex—an exclusive blend of nourishing antioxidants, soy, Vitamins A, C, E, and light diffusing powders—and is clinically proven to provide skin tone and texture improvements in 4 short weeks. Beautiful day one, with even more beautiful results to follow.
-Available in 8 breathable shades
My thoughts (mostly good – and one rant!):
- I'm using shade #20 Neutral Ivory
- Winter has been doing a number on my skin lately. Its dry, crabby, and not impressed! 🙂 I have dry patches on my face and this can catch on to them pretty easily if you don't put a primer on first to help disguise them.
- It can be hard to blend – my typical process for applying foundation is to put a dab on my bush or blender, dot it around my face and then go back in and blend it. It sets too fast for this – so I found dab a smaller amount on half my face, blend, and then do the other half.
- This is medium coverage and could be built up if you are careful. Some times building a product up can backfire with cake-face and I think this could develop into one of those situations if you aren't diligent with blending!
- Has a "sunscreen" texture. Maybe its just me – or my skin – but some products with sunscreen feel really tacky to me after application before it completely sets. While this sets fast and makes blending difficult, I feel like it may have a little tackiness to it as well. Not a deal breaker – unless you're in a hurry.
- Long-wearing! I can go 8+ hrs with out a touch up. This makes me very happy since some days I am working or busy from 8am – 8pm or later. I also don't have an issue with getting overly oily. Although I'm writing this in the winter that has been unusually dry…ask me again come full on summer like July or August!
- I HATE the bottle. After raving about qualities that I think make this a good foundation – I hate this bottle. Maybe I'm spoiled but I cannot stand a foundation that comes in a glass bottle and does not have a pump. I don't want to pour it on my hand and I don't really want to use my fingers to get product out even though I obsess about washing them, esp. when applying my makeup. My solution – use a q-tip to dip into the bottle, and then use that to dot my foundation on before I blend it. This is so annoying to me, it could be a deal breaker! I also feel like I'm wasting q-tips even tho they are super cheap!
Bottom Line –
I like this foundation. It not amazing, its not horrible, but its good. I like the added bonus of SPF in it and that it can last with me through a work day without being touched up or sliding off (again – this could change once summer hits). I do hate the bottle – but I think I may cheat and maybe…pour it into an empty foundation bottle with a pump…?! Or pour it into a pot jar and use it that way. Overall – if the bottle doesn't annoy you – check this out. If you are like me and prefer a pump or tube that you squeeze, this could annoy you like it does me.
Have you tried this? My drugstore favorite is still my covergirl outlast – but I'm currently trying a new one from covergirl – so stay tuned for another drugstore foundation review coming soon!
Thanks for dropping by Gracious Luck – have a wonderful day!

subset: commoncrawl


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When it was announced earlier this week that Carrie Underwood was the newest global brand ambassador for Almay, we jumped for joy. We love Carrie -- and her style, so the addition of this ambassadorship simply added to our adoration. StyleList spoke with Carrie after the announcement to find out why Almay was the right brand for her and much more!
(SL):*Tell us a little about why you wanted to partner with Almay? Carrie Underwood (CU):*"I've always used Almay products, from early on in my makeup wearing life to now. I love the approach they take to makeup, they truly do think as I do, that every woman has these special qualities -- it's not about covering it up."
SL:*What kind of makeup do you like to wear?
CU:*"I love great staples, things that make my skin feel good. I love makeup I can play with, fun & shimmery makeup. My life is about performing on stage and dressing up. My makeup plays a big role in my performance."
SL:*When were you first introduced to makeup?
CU:*"I was first introduced to makeup through my sisters, they were teenagers and I was really young. There are some pretty amazing pictures of me as a four-year-old getting into their makeup. I'd tease my hair and use their aqua net. From a very young age, I just loved it."
SL:*A part of the reason Almay chose you as a global ambassadors was your relatability. Why do you think people are so comfortable around you?
CU:*"I'm a normal person, like I live in Nashville with my husband. I have this really cool job, we don't have 20 houses, I don't drive a fancy car. All of the companies I've worked over the years, have been companies where I've used and liked their products. That's why this partnership is such a great thing. We all want the same thing."
SL:*What's the one product you can't live without?
CU:*I love the Almay Lip Balm and their new CC Cream - the colors are really easy to choose from. I've wasted so much money going to the store and buying things that are orange on my face. These products just work."
Carrie will join Kate Hudson as the brands global ambassador and will be promoting their new 2014 launches. As the face and voice of Almay, she will appear in global, multimedia campaigns spanning television, print, in-store, digital and social platforms.
Carrie Underwood on her newest partnership with Almay
gonna have to go get me some almay lip balm!


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We are really looking forward to our concert this Sunday, Dec. 18 at the Howmet Playhouse with Mike Struwin and the Holiday Ramblers. I met Mike last year when I got the call to play some bass on his Forgotten Hymns CD. I really enjoyed it. The sound and arrangements are really rootsy, and the selection of material is really cool.
So...when Mike contacted us about a possible holiday themed show in the area with a portion of proceeds going to a local charity we jumped at the chance. Howmet Playhouse manager, Katie Trzaska made it easy and suggested that the Whitelake Giving Tree was a worthy charity.
Here's a link to an article on mLive.com.
Bloomquists and friends having a bluegrass Christmas at Howmet Playhouse
A few days ago we visited the Giving Tree headquarters at St. James Church in Montague. Here's a shot of the wonderful food and gifts that they distribute to about 350 LOCAL families in need. We think they're doing a great job.
We hope to see a lot of our friends at the show to raise some funds for this great cause.


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What does Holistic mean ?
The word holistic comes from the Greek word "holo's" which means both holy and whole. It also has origins in 'hael' an Anglo Saxon word which means healthy. Therefore we get 3 words which best describe holistic. They are health, wholeness, holiness.
Do I need to make the therapist aware of anything?
You need to make me aware of any health issues or medication that you are taking. This will be covered in your initial consultation but it would be useful to mention any major issue during booking in case of any treatment restrictions.
Should I use holistic therapies instead of my GP's prescribed medicine or advice?
Definitely not. Holistic therapies are intended to complement and work alongside orthodox treatment and you should not cease to take any prescribed medication.
What do I wear?
Ensure that you are wearing comfortable clothes to aid with relaxation and a sense of wellbeing. If you are receiving a Reiki treatment or Sekhem, you will not have to remove any of your clothes and you will simply lie on the bed fully clothed. For Reflexology there is no need to remove any clothing apart from shoes and socks. If you are receiving Indian Head Massage, there are a couple of options. The massage can be performed over your clothes, so again, you do not have to remove your top. However, the treatment will be greatly enhanced and more beneficial if clothing is removed. Modesty will be respected and the client will be wrapped in a towel or a covering. For other massages, the client will need to remove their top. Again, modesty will be respected and a towelling gown will be provided.
Is Reiki a Massage?
No. It is touch healing that balances the energy in the body.
Are holistic treatments a cure?
They are not intended to cure disease or ailments, but can be valuable where high stress or tension is present. The therapies are a means of relaxation.
Reikihands Holistic Therapies – Reiki Master Beryl Nelson BFRP MIPTI
Helensburgh, Argyll & Bute, Scotland G84
Telephone: 01436 678954 – Mobile: 07565877650


text:
Opened 9 years ago
Closed 9 years ago
#1223 closed enhancement (fixed)
Cascading complexity for find dialogs (maybe others)
|Reported by:
|Owned by:
|Find in Files
|search find cascade
<@Alias> What I kind of wanted to see was Ctrl-F opening the inline search thing
<@Alias> And then Ctrl-F a second time would change to the standalone find dialog
<@Alias> And then, ideally, a third Ctrl-F goes to Find in Files
<@garu> cascading complexity
<@Alias> Right
<@garu> I like it
<@Alias> Would be quite intuitive I think
<@garu> yup
<@Alias> Ctrl-(Double-tap F)
<@Sewi> Would be. You know, I'm the guy who wants to keep things once they've been released, but merging all three to Ctrl-F would be great.
<@Alias> Underneath it's three entirely separate dialogs
<@Alias> But the Ctrl-F handler is smart enough to check and switch between them as needed
<@garu> who captures the keypress?
<@Alias> Ctrl-F goes to the ActionLibrary? entry
<@Alias> edit.find
<@Alias> So the action library menu_code could do the switching
Change History (2)
comment:1 Changed 9 years ago by Sewi
- Owner set to Sewi
- Status changed from new to assigned
First version landed in r14403
comment:2 Changed 9 years ago by Sewi
- Resolution set to fixed
- Status changed from assigned to closed
Finished in r14406


text:
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:16 PM
jberryhill (62,444 posts)
People whom you know to have been shot
When I was about 12, I was with a group of friends at one of their houses and their parents were out. The kid who lived there took us to his parent's bedroom to show us the loaded revolver his dad kept in the night stand. One of the other kids walked into the room, picked it up and pointed it directly at my head, until the other kids shouted "It's loaded" and he dropped it in shock. I was pretty much frozen where I stood.
That was my first encounter with a loaded weapon.
So, I got to thinking, "Do I know anyone who ever shot one of those 'bad guys'?"
Well, let's see. My best friend's cousin, who, at 14, killed himself with the shotgun he got for Christmas doesn't count. Neither does the kid in my class, whose father was a law enforcement officer, count. He wasn't all that much of a 'good guy' but he too shot himself in the head, with one of his father's weapons.
A few years ago a partner in a Philadelphia law firm with whom my firm was consulting on a matter, had to take some time away from the case, since he'd shot himself in the leg with a pistol.
My former next door neighbor became depressed over a variety if things in her life and shot herself in the head. And more recently, I had lost contact with a client of mine, and ended up having to hire a PI to find out, according to the police and coroner reports, that he had shot himself in the head too.
So, let's see, my "personal life body count" is "4 dead, 1 wounded, 0 bad guys".
This is just off the top of my head. My father, of course, was awarded a medal for having shot several people dead. But after service during two wars, he never picked up a weapon again in his life.
So, apart from wartime, how many gun deaths have touched your life?
86 replies, 8314 views
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People whom you know to have been shot (Original post)
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Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:20 PM
NYC_SKP (68,644 posts)
1. My friend who served in Desert Storm and was assigned to bury bodies with a bulldozer blade was shot
And, he was the shooter.
I don't blame the gun, I blame the war and the lies, and the things our country makes men and women do in the name of exceptionalism and world power.
Thus, he was a statistic: one of 18 Veterans who successfully commit suicide every single day.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:31 PM
broiles (1,083 posts)
2. Years ago my next door neighbor shot his penis off.
He was having marital problems. I don't think that helped with his marriage.
Response to broiles (Reply #2)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:52 PM
Walk away (9,494 posts)
8. Maybe it did!
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:36 PM
marybourg (7,630 posts)
3. None. But then, at 70, I've lived
most of my life in a time and in a place, the east coast, when guns were not a part of everyday life.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:45 PM
Mojorabbit (16,020 posts)
4. A good friend of mine
was shot in his own home by a burglar
The mother of a friend shot her abusive husband. The courts let her off.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:49 PM
yellerpup (12,088 posts)
5. Quite a few in the first part of my life.
Upon reflection it was probably because everyone I knew had guns from hunting to target to protection. I've been at the point of a gun several times myself, my ex-husband was murdered with a handgun, my friends father was shot before her eyes. Two cousins committed suicide with guns. For the past 34 years, I've lived in a state that discourages handgun ownership and does not allow concealed (except by certified individuals) or open carry at all (except for the police). While I was threatened regularly in my rural state, I have been threatened only once in NYC.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:49 PM
RebelOne (30,947 posts)
6. Ray, the brother of my sister's husband.
He was taking a co-worker home when the co-worker asked him to stop at a cleaners so he could pick up some clothes. While Ray was waiting in his van, two black guys held him up. They took his wallet and then shot him with a rifle. He died in the hospital a couple of days later. Ray was only 19.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:51 PM
Walk away (9,494 posts)
7. My best friends son was given a gun for Christmas...
His Father (who was long divorced from my friend) gave it to him when he visited on Christmas. My friend was shocked and totally against the present. She was determined to get rid of it as soon as her ex left town to avoid arguments. Two weeks after Christmas this 18 year old accidentally shot and killed his best friend while showing him the gun. The boy he killed was the only son of a family who had sacrificed to send their exceptional son to to prep school and he was on his way to Princeton with early admissions and scholastic scholarships. My friend's son planned to accompany him to the same school. It seemed to me that everyone's life was destroyed. It shattered the lives of everyone who survived. You can hardly find any evidence of it on the internet because they had to hire a company that scrubs as much of it as possible. There are no testimonials on line, no Facebook pages of the people involved, only the original local newspaper reports.
My neighbor down the block killed his wife and held his son and daughter hostage at their home in N.J.. He lived in Pennsylvania and brought his arsenal with him. I have since moved.
Thirty years ago I saw a man have his head blown to bits in Tony's TV Bar in Barranquilla Colombia. People were supposed to check their guns at the door but somebody decided to dine with his.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:56 PM
etherealtruth (22,165 posts)
9. Five, that I can quickly think of
The first was when I was a young child, a neighbor committed suicide
The second: a neighbor was "accidentally shot while cleaning his gun" ...? (again as a child)
The third, a teenager in the neighborhood was killed while in a sketchy part of the city (reportedly drug related), again I was a child
Four: My cousin's husband was killed during an armed robbery at the auto parts store he managed.
Five: A nurse I worked with was shot by a deranged healthcare administrator (after she left the hospital I was working at).
On edit: Upon reflection I honestly did not know (consciously) that gun violence had played this prominent of a role in my life until I started writing.
I need to add that I have always lived in "typical" middle class to UMC suburban areas (as opposed to rural "hunting" areas or crime ravaged inner city areas).
I also need to add that a cousin of sorts (my uncles foster child he was a teenager when he came to live with my uncle) shot and killed a repo guy while he was repo'ing his car. When this occurred the guy was in his late 40s and had never shown symptoms of great violence ... yet, he had a gun and killed another human being.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 01:59 PM
hack89 (38,411 posts)
10. Very few. Alcohol is the killer in my life story. nt
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:14 PM
Arkansas Granny (26,833 posts)
11. A man I knew was carrying a small handgun in his pants pocket.
He went to the bathroom, dropped his drawers,the gun went off, striking him in the groin. He bled out on the bathroom floor before the ambulance arrived. He left a wife and three children. He was experienced at handling firearms.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:17 PM
SWTORFanatic (385 posts)
12. zero. none. n/t
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:20 PM
proud2BlibKansan (96,793 posts)
13. Too many to count.
Mostly former students. A friend of mine who taught 2nd grade for 35 years had two former students who had been in the same class commit murder in the same week. One was a car jacking, the other a drug deal gone bad. Both involved guns. They were 22 years old and are both in prison for the rest of their lives. They'd be about 35 now.
Response to proud2BlibKansan (Reply #13)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 09:33 PM
salin (48,713 posts)
60. same here... (posted far below.)
I believe we both have spent years in urban education.
I counted 15 instances off the top of my head (including two cases in which former students were the perpetrators.) Both of those students would be between 35 and 40 by now.
Response to salin (Reply #60)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 10:20 PM
proud2BlibKansan (96,793 posts)
61. I'll bet you catch yourself waiting to hear the name of the perp or the victim when there's a murder
or other crime to see if you recognize them. Sad, isn't it?
Response to proud2BlibKansan (Reply #61)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 10:48 PM
salin (48,713 posts)
64. Sadly, yes. I have only been in my current city for the past decade
so the age range is still somewhat limited (per the students aren't much more than 23.)
It is a horrendous reality (to listen/read for the name of both the perps and victims of such crimes... to learn if it touches your educational family.) It is an even more horrendous reality for these children whose path may cross so many violent losses/experiences.
Thanks for writing this. It is something I live (reading/listening to news holding one's breath and hoping that neither the victim (and his/her family), nor the perp is a former student. Tens of thousands of us live with this. We just don't often speak about it - as to embrace it would intrude in our daily work. One can't be effective if one is eternally focused upon whether or not some of the students one is currently working with to try to open up future opportunities will even live long enough to realize those opportunities.
Peace be with you.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:21 PM
milestogo (8,439 posts)
14. When I was a kid I remember a 15 year old shooting himself in the head
with his fathers gun. He had gotten in some trouble for dropping rocks on cars from an overpass. His parents were angry. And to him it seemed like the end of the world. Big trouble and hard for a teenager to put in perspective.
But it wasn't worth killing himself over. If his parents hadn't had a gun in the home he might still be here today. He was basically a good kid and it was a tragedy that he took his life over something that deserved punishment but hadn;t actually harmed anyone.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:32 PM
Tsiyu (18,186 posts)
15. Two suicides by gun
that I knew personally.
The majority of shooting victims I dealt with were in ERs around Atlanta, so I didn't know them personally.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:37 PM
OldDem2012 (3,526 posts)
16. I basically stopped counting in 1968 after my former high school classmate was killed in Vietnam...
....one was enough, but there have been many more. Quite a few of the Marines I served with from 1978-1981, had been wounded by small arms fire in Vietnam.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:39 PM
shanti (20,677 posts)
17. same thread here:
several days ago...
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:45 PM
werknotgoin2takeit (172 posts)
18. Lukily not too many.
But the one I have is bad enough. My beautiful bright 21 year old cousin suffered horrendous abuse at the hands of his step-father and had untreated manic depression. He joined the military to escape. Everyone who knew him knew it was a mistake as he did not have the temperament of a soldier. In the end, he went AWOL and killed himself with a shotgun alone and far away from those who loved him and could of helped him. That was over 20 years ago and we still miss him every day.
Response to werknotgoin2takeit (Reply #18)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:48 PM
etherealtruth (22,165 posts)
20. I am so sorry
Response to etherealtruth (Reply #20)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:36 PM
werknotgoin2takeit (172 posts)
31. Thank You
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:47 PM
Warpy (97,682 posts)
19. To tell the truth, the one death that affected me most
was a beating death. However, my own count is 2 dead, 6 wounded, 0 bad guys, unless you count the soon to be ex husband who blew himself away after shooting one of my best friends dead.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:53 PM
Flabbergasted (7,826 posts)
21. The housemate of a friend shot him in the leg near groin,
Accident of course. My friend put the gun on the table, it was in his pocket, during wrestling, for "safety." His housemate picked it up and shot him.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 02:57 PM
2naSalit (39,337 posts)
22. Too many to count...
can't remember all and have tried to put that out of my mind so that I don't remember. But I will admit that there have been a few times in my life where I considered putting an end to my life, but I never considered using a gun.
I have had guns held to my head and pointed at me more than a couple times, it makes you think real hard during and after the fact... if you have any sense.
And I've lost more than a few friends and acquaintances during wars.
Wish that all guns and all war machines would just stop working somehow... then it wouldn't matter who had any if none of them worked.
Response to 2naSalit (Reply #22)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:07 PM
etherealtruth (22,165 posts)
23. I am so sorry that you have gone through this
Response to etherealtruth (Reply #23)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:19 PM
2naSalit (39,337 posts)
27. Thank you..
I think a lot more of us go through periods of trial that bring up such considerations as taking their own lives, something always stopped me. For those who have gone by way of guns, I miss some of them but that's what happens in a gun culture... that's the way I have to rationalize these events to get beyond the initial emotions.
As far as my own nearly being shot, see remark above.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:08 PM
Nay (11,150 posts)
24. Two.
A relative who was attempting to fix a friend's handgun accidentally shot himself. He is OK.
A neighbor boy and his best friend, while sitting in the cab of his uncle's truck, found a loaded handgun in the glove box. The boy handled it, it went off, killing his best friend instantly.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:10 PM
Sherman A1 (28,716 posts)
25. Let me think
Co-worker a few years back with a shotgun.
Co-worker's husband this year with a gun.
Co-worker's BIL this year with a handgun.
3 of Wife's cousins over the last 10 years with guns (depression seems to run in that family).
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:15 PM
libdem4life (13,877 posts)
26. I am Social Security age, and can honestly say no one I have known. or someone I knew
who mentioned it..state-side, in a non-war setting, that is. Car accidents, 3 or 4. My son has never mentioned one either. Interesting post.l
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:24 PM
yardwork (50,644 posts)
28. The sister of a friend who was murdered by a witness called to make a deposition.
The man showed up at the deposition with a gun - I don't know what kind - and murdered everybody in the room, including my friend's sister, who was one of the attorneys present. It was a routine deposition and the murderer was not a defendant, just a witness.
And the suicide of a good friend who shot himself with a high-powered rifle, one of many in his arsenal. He was prepared for the bad guys to come over the hills. The bad guys never came, but he's gone.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:25 PM
Deep13 (39,128 posts)
29. Mr. Frazier, Mr. Hood, Mr. Wieder, Ms. Allen
Mr. Frazier was a victim of a murder-suicide. He was a divorce lawyer in MA. He represented the wife in a routine, uncontested case. The husband killed Frasier and the wife, then himself.
Ms. Allen was murdered, the case never solved.
Mr. Hood was a very sick man who decided to end the constant suffering.
Mr. Wieder was also a suicide, leaving a wife and minor son behind. We still don't know what he was thinking.
Sgt. Dumais shot himself in the foot and lived.
I did not know her, but my mother's Aunt Janice was murdered by her husband. She knew he was going to do it, but the police would not protect her.
I also know people who have died in traffic accidents or died prematurely due to disease.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:33 PM
SirRevolutionary (579 posts)
30. Thanks for this jberryhill, very poignant example of how we all know guns too well
My uncle was a happy man, always laughing, right-wing southern gentleman, hunter, gun lover, you name it. I only met him twice or so, but one thing that struck me was how happy he always was. A few years passed and I heard he had used one of his shotguns to blow his head off in the car in his garage, leaving the mess for his wife and endless questions.
I have many cops in my family who have been shot at, haven't heard that any actually got hit. I know they've had many cop friends who have been shot and killed while on duty. A simple traffic stop ends in death far too often.
A guy who lived down the road from me blew his head off with a shotgun in his living room and every time we'd drive by their house for months, you could see the ceiling hole with spray all over.
When I was a teen, the older "cooler" kids used to go into the woods down the road and play ""BB gun wars". Truly brilliant, the rule was no one could aim above the neck. Well, that didn't work out so well and one boy I knew got hit in the eye, he's now blind in one eye for the rest of his life.
Another close call was with the brother of an ex girlfriend of mine. Her little brother (15 at the time) found his cop father's loaded pistol laying on the piano, pointed it at his brother and I ended up beating the hell out of him for it right in front of his mom. When his dad came home, he got his hide tanned far worse.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:38 PM
LWolf (46,177 posts)
32. 1 brother, 0 bad guys. nt
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:40 PM
Adsos Letter (19,306 posts)
33. 1 dead, 1 wounded
When I was a kid, two friends of mine (one 14 and the other 16) were messing around with their dad's .30/.30 deer rifle; one shot the other in the stomach, killing him.
Just this year a guy I grew up with shot himself in the ankle with a .357 pistol:
The victim told Escambia County Sheriffs deputies that he was outside when he saw a rattlesnake in his yard. He retrieved a .357 loaded with bird shot in an attempt to kill the snake, but he was unable to locate the rattler.
The victim said he decided to continue to look around his yard for the snake. A short time later, he turned to walk inside .and he saw the snake slither behind his leg. The victim said he then somehow tripped and landed with the snake underneath his right leg, trapping it. He told deputies he used his hands with the gun and tried to push the snake away.
During the struggle with the snake, he accidentally discharged the firearm, hitting himself in the back of the leg near the ankle.
I haven't talked to Mike in a couple years. I need to call him and hear this one first-hand.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:46 PM
99Forever (14,524 posts)
34. Mike Donnelly...
... age 13 or 14, a 9th grade friend of mine at Nathan Hale Jr High in Omaha, Nebr. (in 1968, if I remember correctly) shot and killed by an accidental shotgun blast when and some friends were "playing with dad's unloaded gun."
Mike Hammers, my best friend and workmate at Triland Foods in Sgt Bluffs, Ia., also shot and killed by another "accidental shotgun blast" when a gunfreak buddy aimed an "unloaded 12 gauge" at him and "jokingly" pulled the trigger. Early 1990s.
There are more, but that bummed me out enough for one day.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:47 PM
Lydia Leftcoast (48,217 posts)
35. The husband of a former teaching colleague was one of several physics professors
at the University of Iowa who was shot and killed by a disgruntled graduate student.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:49 PM
Tierra_y_Libertad (50,414 posts)
36. My father, one guy I knew in the Marines, several postal workers who shot themselves.
And, a number of marine friends killed in Vietnam (maybe not by gunshot in every case) while defending LBJ's "tough on Communism" creds.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:49 PM
Dustlawyer (9,280 posts)
37. My best friend shot and killed himself.
He was found 2 months later. It was over a girl. He may have gotten past that typical heartbreak if his father's gun was not around.
Response to Dustlawyer (Reply #37)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:25 PM
GreenPartyVoter (69,143 posts)
50. The exact reason why I don't keep my late father's guns in my home.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:50 PM
heaven05 (18,124 posts)
38. sad
the grief guns bring into the mix.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:51 PM
Jack Rabbit (45,984 posts)
39. My cousin's son, David, was murdered
David and his girlfriend were helping a friend move. The "friend" shot them both with a rifle. David died instantly, the young lady was wounded and was able to flee.
David hung with the wrong crowd. There may have been drugs involved.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:54 PM
judesedit (1,737 posts)
40. 2 with depression, one while I was sleeping, 1 was my sister-in-law's 18-yr old nephew. Then 2 my
son's natural father killed over drugs and spent the rest of his life in jail for. 1 friend in his place of business by a drunk, unruly customer. That's off the top of my head. Not pleasant to think about so that's enough for me right now. If my friend had been in a little different frame of mind, he could have easily taken me with him. I was sleeping in the next room. He was nice and spared me.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 03:56 PM
judesedit (1,737 posts)
41. One time I was driving down the road broad daylight when a carful of young guys pulled up. One had
a gun and pointed it straight at me. I was driving so couldn't do anything but say to myself "I might die right now"
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:12 PM
kcass1954 (1,819 posts)
42. My sister-in-law was murdered in Miami in 1996.
She was shot in the face by her pimp in an argument over money.
She chose a life of drugs and prostitution, and no one expected her to live a long life. But she didn't deserve to die the way she did.
I miss her, and so does my son. When she was sober, she was one of the funniest people I ever knew.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:15 PM
Irishonly (3,344 posts)
43. Several
When I was a child living in Des Moines, a neighbor girl was murdered. The case is still unsolved. She was well liked and the police could never figure out a motive for the killing.
I have had two student commit suicide both with guns. Another is serving the rest of his life in prison after accidentally shooting his best friend.
A good friend was murdered and another very critically wounded when a jealous boyfriend came shooting into a vocational school. My friend had just had a baby about a year before her death.
My bil committed suicide.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:17 PM
hunter (31,169 posts)
44. Too many, too close.
I don't talk about it much. Not here.
One gun story that didn't deeply touch my life: A neighbor of ours shot her boyfriend in the leg during an argument. They don't live there anymore. It freaked out the neighbor across the street so much he put up a surveillance camera to watch that house in case the owner rented it to other "unstable" people. Most of the people who have lived there have been nice, even the woman who shot her boyfriend. It's too bad the gun she had for "protection" screwed up her life like that.
I've never heard a first hand story of someone shooting "bad guys" who wasn't police or military.
In my neighborhood people break into houses and steal guns, even entire gun safes, when the owner isn't home. We've got a bad gang problem in our city and those kids are not stupid except when they are shooting each other.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:17 PM
graywarrior (59,440 posts)
45. A bunch
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:18 PM
alfredo (58,456 posts)
46. I figure about 15 friends have died by the gun.
Many were friends in Detroit during the early 70's.
A lot of small time pot dealers were eliminated after operation intercept. That doubled the price of pot, making it profitable for organized crime. Hard drugs were for the mob, pot was for privateers until Nixon handed the pot trade to the mob. Two friends were clearly assassinated. One was burned after he was tied up and shot. they wanted to make sure I guess. The other was shot at a stop light.
Ones I didn't add to the list were ones I heard were dead, but no cause give. Three were small time hustlers, one of them had a contract put out on him around the time I left town.
I'm glad I got out of Detroit and that life.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:19 PM
cpwm17 (3,829 posts)
47. My brother's best friend accidentally shot and killed himself
My best friend at the time was at the McDonald's massacre in San Ysidro section of San Diego, California, on July 18, 1984. Fortunately he was working in the back and hid in a closet. Twenty were murdered, making it the worst such massacre at the time. Another acquaintance was shot in the arm, but he escaped out the front door of the McDonald's and dove over a wall.
My niece's friends were at the Aurora Colorado massacre, and one lost a leg. She had other things to do so she fortunately wasn't there.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:21 PM
Fla Dem (13,773 posts)
48. A woman I worked with, nicest girl; husband angry drunk; shot her.
Does JFK and RFK count. Grew up with them, metaphorically; when they were shot, felt like someone in my family. And a couple of high school classmates in Vietnam.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:22 PM
GreenPartyVoter (69,143 posts)
49. One, my uncle. May there never be another gun death in my life or my family.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:43 PM
beveeheart (1,141 posts)
51. At least 6 people have died from gunshots that I knew
My cousin's estranged husband shot her and then himself in the parking lot of the bank where she worked. Also had 2 students kill themselves. A close friend's son was shot in the back over a drug deal while he was urinating in a field. I know there are others, but just can't recall details right now.
Also a friend's husband killed himself early one Sunday morning within a year after they'd married.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:45 PM
louis-t (19,349 posts)
52. One murder/suicide of school chum in 1970..
parents were divorcing, mother shot the kids and herself.
Very good friend who had a lot going for him suddenly got depressed (over a woman), cut his long hair off and laid it on the bed, then shot himself in 1998.
An 'almost' involving my uncle and father in 1962. My father kept a shotgun in the house for hunting. My uncle came over after work at 2 in the morning. My mother, forgetting she had told my uncle he could sleep on the couch if he was too tired to drive home, woke my father and told him someone was in the house. My father nearly shot his own brother. My father got rid of the gun after that.
No one I know has ever stopped a bad guy with a gun.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 04:52 PM
booley (3,851 posts)
53. three
One was the boyfriend of a friend in high school.
Another was a cop who used to come over tot he 7-11 where I worked a lot.
Killed by her own gun by someone else.
The last was a guy I knew all the way back to grade school and into college.
He had broken a fight between a couple so the boy friend went home, got his gun, and came ot back to shoot my friend two times in the neck.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 05:57 PM
dooner (1,211 posts)
54. One, my brother
was shot in the head in an unsolved murder. We assume it was probably a drug deal gone bad.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 06:26 PM
kag (3,001 posts)
55. My community still grieves for Brian Mahon
Brian was the general manager of a local ski resort. His wife Jill was (and is) a teacher at the elementary school, and taught most of the kids in our little town at one point or another. They have two daughters, the younger of whom was in the same grade as my son.
A few years ago, during the week between Christmas and New Years, one of the employees of the resort arrived at work with a gun. By all reports he was somewhat crazed, and entered the locker room where all of the lift workers and others were getting ready to head out onto the mountain. He was rambling about religion, and waving the gun around, pointing it at all of the others, eventually firing one shot into the ceiling.
Brian heard that shot, and entered the room asking what was going on. The guy pointed the gun at Brian, and asked something like "Do you believe it God?" or "What church do you go to?" or something like that. Brian responded "I'm Catholic." The guy fired one shot into Brian's chest, killing him almost instantly. The shooter then ran out the door, got into his car, and sped away.
John Seifert, a Sherriff's officer and former local cop who lives down the street from me, got the report from dispatch (911 had been called), and sped toward the resort. He was almost there when he saw a car matching the description from the report speeding in the other direction, he quickly turned around and followed it, lights and sirens blaring. At an intersection, the shooter stopped and got out of his car. John stopped, took cover behind his car door, and yelled the appropriate commands to the guy, who immediately began firing in John's direction.
Others driving toward and near the scene, stopped and ducked behind or inside of their cars.
John Seifert, serendipitously, is an expert with firearms, and teaches courses within the department on the use, handling, and safe storage of guns. Several shots were exchanged between John and Brian's murderer. There were conflicting reports about how the fire fight ended. One maintained that one of John's bullets killed the guy. Another said that the guy turned the gun on himself and shot himself in the head. I never learned which report was true, but ultimately, the guy died, and John suffered a minor wound from a bullet that grazed his ear.
John was hailed as a hero by most of our town, myself included. I truly believe that he saved lives, that the guy who killed Brian would have killed others, or at least attempted to.
This all happened in 2008. Jill and her daughters still live here, and Brian is still remembered and loved. He was killed with a semi automatic rifle with a high-capacity clip. I don't know if it was obtained legally or not.
It is possible that you read about this shooting in the paper, especially if you live anywhere near Boulder, Colorado.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 07:15 PM
movingviolation (83 posts)
56. My uncle was shot to death in a bar.
His dad, my grandpa, committed suicide, shot himself in the head. I've never owned a gun and never will
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 08:02 PM
tavernier (7,480 posts)
57. Several, but I especially remember
a neighbor who was in a gun shop looking at an antique gun and because antique guns are never loaded (yeah, right), it went off and the bullet went through his stomach. He was a very sick puppy for an awfully long time.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 08:10 PM
Blue_In_AK (46,436 posts)
58. I've answered this question before.
My brother was killed in a hunting accident when he was 15 bad I was 7. Friends have died...suicides, bad drug deals. My first husband was murdered after we split up, but I'm not sure if it was gun-related, although probably. Friends and cousin in Vietnam.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 09:30 PM
salin (48,713 posts)
59. When I worked with urban youth in Detroit in the 90s...
2 former youth I worked with, 2 other youth I worked with became murderers, 3 other youth I worked with had family members murdered all by guns.
When I was in grad school, while it wasn't someone I knew, a man was shot to death across the street from where I lived.
In recent years I have lost two former students to murder by gun, and have worked with at least 4 youths whose family members have been shot to death.
Off the top of my head that is 15 direct or indirect encounters with domestic gun violence.
Response to salin (Reply #59)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 10:22 PM
proud2BlibKansan (96,793 posts)
62. Murder is such an everyday thing for urban kids.
It's really heart breaking.
Response to proud2BlibKansan (Reply #62)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 10:32 PM
salin (48,713 posts)
63. earth-shatteringly, so.
Most people outside of the urban cores, have no idea how close such violence strikes to many urban families.
The first day after the horrible events in Newtown, one of the older students that I work with pondered: why are we only talking about *this* incident? Why aren't we (national news) talking about how frequently people are killed by guns?
Another student chimed in about a pair of murders that happened within the past couple of weeks, within several blocks from where we sat as we spoke.
I sadly recalled a day when I commuted from one work site to another in Detroit - at noon - and heard reports of 3 shootings within, or outside but on the grounds of Detroit schools all occurring within a 4 hour span. Heard about it on the local news at noon. Not a word in the national news.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Sun Dec 23, 2012, 11:10 PM
easttexaslefty (1,526 posts)
65. Probably around 100.
I belong to the largest Internet survivor support group (for parents) in the U.S.
Well, actually worldwide. At least 100 that regularly post lost their child suicide by gun. Including age 8, yes 8, to 50.
In our group gun by suicide is the most common.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Mon Dec 24, 2012, 12:26 AM
Tom Ripley (4,945 posts)
66. 3 dead (suicide), 2 wounded (attack/failed suicide attempt), 0 bad guys
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Mon Dec 24, 2012, 12:33 AM
neverforget (9,364 posts)
67. Grandfather to suicide (shotgun), friend to suicide (handgun), friend murdered (shotgun)
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Mon Dec 24, 2012, 12:50 AM
Nikia (11,411 posts)
68. Growing up, I was told that my grandfather's brother died of cancer
It was only when I was older that I found out that he shot himself. While it is true that he had cancer at the time, he died from suicide. I suppose that he probably wouldn't have killed himself if he were healthy though.
More recently, a couple of years ago, a coworker shot himself. On a Friday, he went to the park and shot himself instead of coming into work. He was very stressed at work and did have some health problems. That event really affected my attitude towards working there. I'm not there anymore, but it still bothers me.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Mon Dec 24, 2012, 01:50 PM
UnrepentantLiberal (11,700 posts)
69. A friend of mine shot himself while playing Russian roulette.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 09:03 PM
Care Acutely (1,370 posts)
70. My best friend at 15 was shot in the head by her boyfriend. Took her 3 days to die.
Last edited Thu Dec 27, 2012, 03:24 AM - Edit history (3)
My last memory of her is the sight of her laying in her hospital bed hooked up to a vent, her purple and yellow face swollen beyond all recognition. Her murderer found Jesus in prison and was released in less than 4 years. That's when I learned with irrefutable certainty that the life of a 15 year-old poor female isn't worth very much.
A classmate in high school shot herself in the abdomen when she found out she was pregnant, leaving her with a withered leg and the need to use a cane for the rest of her life. Oh, and of course, no uterus.
One night I struck up a conversation on Facebook with a friend I went to school with from kindergarten all the way to high school graduation. We had gone to each others birthday parties since we were tiny kids. He seemed a little wistful for the old days but nothing that threw up alarm bells. He shot himself in the head later that night on his farm.
My cousin. He came home from the war and shot himself in the head with a gun he bought at a gun show, sitting under his favorite tree on my uncles farm. The animals and the bugs had got to him a little bit by the time my uncle and his brother found him the next day.
My ex-husband's uncle was shot in the head in the desert of northern Mexico.
Oh - and me. When I was in the 3rd grade my neighbor started playing with a bullet in the alley. She was banging on it with a rock. It passed through my left flank without hitting anything other than a little bit of muscle, baby fat and skin. I didn't even feel it at first and I was mostly terrified because the terrible noise left me unable to hear anything except a relentless high roar. Then I looked at the neighbor and she appeared to be screaming too, and she was looking at my stomach. I looked down and saw blood running down my leg. Being a little kid, I was so scared I would get in trouble that I tried to clean it up and hide it. It didn't take mom long to notice I had been crying, could barely hear anything and I was holding wads of paper towels under my shirt.
Then there was the time I was gathering asparagus in the woods by the river and got mistaken for game of some type, despite the fact that I was wearing a purple shirt. I'm able to type all this because the asshole "sportsmen" were apparently drunk and poor shooters.
4 dead, 2 wounded, 0 bad guys
Edited to add two stories and the fact that I"m not even going to include the many, many, many examples from work.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 09:14 PM
PeaceNikki (27,985 posts)
71. Off the top of my head...
A good friend of mine was shot by a cop. She's ok now.
A friend of my son's father shot himself in the face in a failed suicide attempt that disfigured him and wrecked his child.
A former co-worker's father murdered her mother and then himself.
A good friend's father was a cab driver murdered with a gun on the job.
2 wounded, 3 dead, 0 bad guys.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 09:46 PM
OmahaBlueDog (10,000 posts)
72. I've lost two people in my life to gun violence
I lost a co-worker in a murder/suicide lovers quarrel
I also lost someone very close to me in a robbery. As I've stated here before, part of the irony there is that the individual was a firearms enthusiast.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 09:53 PM
Ikonoklast (23,973 posts)
73. I posted this thread back in July about my great uncle and his family....
Uncle Bob survived the North African Campaign and being wounded at Anzio, but not the gun owned by a neighbor.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 10:01 PM
joshcryer (60,807 posts)
74. I've been shot at and nearly pistol whipped.
Don't know anyone who was shot though. I met someone who got killed later on by an IED but we weren't friends or knew each other...
edit: wait, I just now remembered. There was this Burger King I used to frequent in New Orleans and the manager was shot by one of the employees... execution style... damn, wish I didn't remember that now...
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 10:10 PM
Fumesucker (45,851 posts)
75. Philip Young, a friend shot himself in the belly with a .22 rifle while "cleaning" it, he survived
A friend's brother who I no longer remember their name was shot in the chest by another boy while they were playing with dad's .45, he survived too amazingly enough.
Hank van Apeldorn, shot outside a nightclub he was getting ready to go into to review a band for his local music show on the radio. After being shot in the heart with .22 he actually got out of the car and chased his shooter down the street for a bit, the trauma center managed to save his life too after pumping a couple of gallons of blood into him.
Then there's the deer hunting relative who fell out of his deer stand when he went to sleep, he broke his neck and died of pneumonia a couple of years later after being a quadriplegic since the accident.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 10:17 PM
fadedrose (10,044 posts)
76. About age 12, a young man, about 14, killed himself with a gun
He lived about 3 blocks away. Family ran numbers, was reputed to have connections.
Very very sad. It wasn't suicide, he was cleaning it or playing with it and it was an accident. Family was brokenhearted... It was just a regular handgun I think, nothing fancy. This was 60 years ago.
His name was Anthony.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 10:24 PM
geckosfeet (9,644 posts)
77. A childhood friend of mine's father committed suicide with a shotgun.
In their house.
He was a very heavy drinker. And by all accounts family dynamics were pretty rough.
Oh. And I had a park ranger point a pistol at me. That was not fun.
Also, a friend of mine was robbed at gunpoint. He was in the air force overseas at the time. The thieves were army people and were quickly caught.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 10:35 PM
baldguy (36,649 posts)
78. Similar.
When I was a kid, some asshole shot my dog. He survived - what was probably a .22 went right through his butt. Lots of blood for such a small hole...
When I was in high school, during those 4 yrs 10 of my classmates died, out of a class of 280. 3 where from car accidents. 2 hanged themselves. And 5 were from guns, 4 were suicides and 1 was murdered - shot by his stepfather.
One of the gun suicides was a guy I'd known since the 7th grade. We had the same first name and the same first 3 letters of our last name. He sat next to me in homeroom for 6 yrs. We were in the same scout troop, the same football team, we had math & history together.... And one day he wasn't there.
Again - no bad guys.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 10:37 PM
thucythucy (4,776 posts)
79. My partner's grandfather
was shot in the back by a "hunter" who mistook him for a deer.
The lover of a friend was shot through her windshield, bled to death before the EMTs could get to her.
Two acqaintances (lover of one good friend, brother of another): suicide by handgun.
Two women I know raped at gunpoint.
High school classmate: "suicide by cop."
And no, not one single "bad guy" taken down.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 11:12 PM
SummerSnow (12,588 posts)
80. I know about 11 people who have shot...
I grew up in a rough neighborhood
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 11:17 PM
cthulu2016 (10,960 posts)
81. Only suicides for me
3 gun suicides.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 11:37 PM
riverbendviewgal (3,956 posts)
82. two
My boyfriend's 12 year old niece. Was playing in her basement and tripped and shot herself dead.
My friend's 26 year old daughter was accidental shot and killed while hunting in Texas.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 11:43 PM
Hassin Bin Sober (22,889 posts)
83. Several
A friend I grew up with murdered by his gun-nut father in law. The FIL showed up at their house in the middle of the night and shot Marc in the chest 4 times. He apparently planned on kidnapping his daughter and grandkids - handcuffs in the car as well as several guns and hundreds of rounds. Rented a car for the crime and told his friends he was in Florida. Dispute over religion and distancing the kids from the abusive grandfather was the motivation.
Another friend I grew up with killed himself with a rifle a couple weeks ago. When looking online for the funeral/obit information, I ran across the foreclosure case.
Another kid I grew up with - shot dead by a dropped .22 rifle. Accidental. His father killed himself several years later. Gunshot to the head.
Two high school friends. Suicide with "family" guns. One was a close friend.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Wed Dec 26, 2012, 11:51 PM
Generic Brad (12,218 posts)
84. My old next door neighbor
Him and his wife had been drinking. They had a fight because he had danced with another woman. She told him she would like to make it so that he never danced with another woman again. He suggested she shoot his leg off. She said she did not know how to use a gun. So he got his semi-automatic, loaded it, showed her how to use and where to aim if she wanted to make it so he never danced again. She followed his advice perfectly and shot his leg off.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Thu Dec 27, 2012, 12:18 AM
Thor_MN (11,843 posts)
85. None, unless you count the BIL of my GreatGrandfather via his first wife.
My GGM was his second wife, his BIL used a shotgun 40 years before I was born. He wasn't found for 2 months, he went out into a forested area to end his life.
Response to jberryhill (Original post)
Thu Dec 27, 2012, 01:03 AM
Dems to Win (2,161 posts)
86. I might have the only kinda-funny story to add to this thread
My mom's sister, my aunt, is one of the numerous black sheep in my family.
Auntie and her husband, then parents of 3 young children, got into a drunken argument one night and she shot him in the stomach. They divorced after that, and he took the kids. I never knew these cousins as I was growing up.
Auntie never had trouble finding a new man, but they weren't exactly winners. Auntie, with her third husband, got into a fight in a bar and her then-husband shot a man dead. (clearly, that's not funny, don't get me wrong) He's still in prison; she spent a few years in prison, too, but then was released.
About 30 years after her first divorce, their son was in prison in a distant state, and was assaulted in prison. Auntie and her first hubby drove to visit their son in the prison hospital, and on that drive, they agreed that they were soulmates and loved each other and should have never split up. So, they re-married.
Auntie's first husband and seventh husband were the same guy -- the guy she shot in the stomach. He lived for a few years after they remarried, then he died of alcohol & natural causes.
She's already used up and discarded (divorced) husband number eight.


text: Our Team Joseph A. Latona, CLTC, CLU, CFP President and Founder (978) 834-1263 firstname.lastname@example.com Joe is a 2005 graduate of St. Anselm College in Manchester, NH, where he earned a Bachelor's of the Arts in Theology. He is married with a young son and lives in Southern New Hampshire. Joe is active in the Deering Sportsman Club, Cub... Read more Laura Fitzpatrick Office Manager 978-834-1263 firstname.lastname@example.com Laura is a graduate of Framingham State University where she earned a BA in Psychology with a concentration in work behavior. She began her career in recruiting before transitioning to the financial services industry when she moved to... Read more Paul Hartwell, MBA Branch Marketing Associate 617-633-1959 firstname.lastname@example.com Paul is a knowledgeable professional who has achieved success in many endeavors. He has more than 40 years of experience in the financial services industry and holds the Series 7, 63 and 65 securities licenses through LPL Financial, as... Read more Kelly Haken Administrative Assistant 978-834-1263 email@example.com Kelly is a graduate of Manchester Community College where she earned an AS in Business Studies. She began her career in the banking industry before shifting to clerical work. Kelly is responsible for answering calls, maintaining the... Read more


text:
My mother in law and I were destined for one another. She may not have seen it at first but I think she's coming around. From the proprietor of our favorite sushi/bibimbap joint telling her that she and I have a similar bearing to our mutual love of shopping – all signs point to "daughter you never had".
If only I could speak Korean…
Today we had lunch at Steve's Deli (Husband, Mom, the kids & I) then we went shopping at a boutique stuffed to the rafters with really cute and correspondingly expensive European children's clothing. Thanks to Halmoni's munificence, no one went home empty handed. I appreciate her generosity – but even more so, her happiness with constantly holding the grandson who is now approximately 1/5th of her total body weight.
paul frank skullie


text:
LOVE posts like this! As a recent college grad ('2016), I constantly run into the "that looks great, if only I could afford it" problem. I really appreciate when fashion icons (what I would consider you) show their human side and look to snag a great deal. Thank you! Also, ThreadUp is the shit. Happy Wednesday!
Saving $683 On This Amazing Wedding Guest Look (+ a discount for you!!)
Yes, this single look originally would have cost me $848 but I got it for only $165!! How insane is that?! Never ever would I spend that much money on a single outfit, but I sure want to feel as good as I do in this look. And luckily, it has become easier than ever to find the perfect, unique look any time. No more digging in consignment shops or spending hours driving everywhere to find the most affordable look. thredUP gives you like-new brand name women's and children's clothing that you will seriously love. So no matter what you have on your calendar, you can always find an affordable outfit and look like a million bucks!
I've had the pleasure of working with thredUP twice now and have seriously adored all the items I've found through their site. The first time around, I found a Diane von Furstenburg dress for 75% off and the second time I snagged a BB Dakota Coat for 65% off! Consignment shopping has been one of my favorite things since I was in high school. I LOVE a good deal, but I hate the smells of the stores and having to dig and dig to find the ONE item in a pile of items that totally aren't me. thredUP makes shopping for deals easier than ever, all from the comfort of your own couch, no weird smells included! They are the largest online store that buys and sells high-quality secondhand, on trend, like-new fashion from top name brands and designers for up to 90% off! Yes, 90%! That's so much savings!
When I placed my recent order, I knew I wanted to find a dress for one of our upcoming weddings this summer so I started with the shoes. Finding a dress you love then not being able to find the perfect pumps is a bummer, so I always start with the toes and work my way up! I started by browsing the pumps and quickly found these Manolo Blahnik, originally $695 marked down to $95!! How insane is that?! As soon as I slid these on, I instantly felt like Carrie Bradshaw running the streets of NYC. Except I can barely walk upright in heels, but I'm totes Carrie Bradshaw. And I saved $600 and was able to put towards my car payment, or our mortgage or just save it for the future! Carrie definitely wasn't thinking about that when she was buying her Manolos.
When you log into thredUP, you can easily search by your favorite brands like lululemon, Gap, J.Crew, Express, Forever 21, H&M, Banana Republic, Madewell, and Anthropologie. And you can even filter by size, color, price and style to easily find what you're looking for! They make it so incredibly easy to find a look you love for way less!
After finding the perfect pumps, I came across this TOBI dress that was originally $95, marked down to $27.99. This lightweight dress cinched at the waist and showed off a little skin without revealing too much. For weddings, I love finding dresses that let me move on the dance floor while still feeling dressed to impress and this dress was exactly that!
And to round out the entire look, I found this cute-as-can-be yellow rose Banana Republic clutch so I could pack my lipsticks and extra snacks to the wedding. Let's be real, weddings rarely have enough food, especially on time. And as I found to be true at my own wedding, snacks are critical when alcohol is involved. This adorable purse was originally $58 and I got it for only $40.99! All the sancks will be packed in this little guy!
The best part about thredUP is that it's truly better for the planet. Get this – if 1 out of 100 American households shopped secondhand, they would collectively save $1.6 BILLION every year. That's enough for each of those households to pay for 2 years of college! Holy.Crap. And finding looks through thredUP means you will have your own unique look at whatever event you have coming up! Helping the planet while crushing your own unique look sounds pretty good to me!
thredUP also makes it easier than ever for you to clean out your own closet! They offer their Clean Out Kit, you fill it with items you no longer want and place on your front door for pick-up. You can even check out their website beforehand to see what they do/don't take and what the payout will be! They are seriously making consignment shopping and selling the easiest and most enjoyable experience!
And guess what? thredUP is offering PaleOMG readers a special discount! The first 100 people to use my discount code OMG40 will get an extra 40% off their first order! (Applies to new US customers only. Discount up to $50). So act fast because this discount will be gone soon! Now go get your secondhand shopping on and start to fall in love with showing off your own unique look while saving up for the future ahead!
This post is sponsored by thredUP, but all opinions are my own! This sponsorship helps with expenses to keep this blog up and running! Thank you for all your support!
Oh, Hi! I'm Juli.
5 thoughts on "Saving $683 On This Amazing Wedding Guest Look (+ a discount for you!!)"
I love the clothes on thredup and love this outfit on you! I do have a question though – does anyone else worry about the clothing having bedbugs or something else on the clothes? I can't find anything on the thredUp website that addresses this, but wonder what other people think. Last time I ordered I threw everything in the washing machine, but ruined a silk shirt doing it so would rather not.
Good question! The clothes look pretty great but I would be concerned about bedbugs or anything. Love consignment shops but sometimes things are not the cleanest.
Anyone have any opinions on them?
As someone who had to deal with bedbugs in college (thanks gross neighbors who contaminated the entire building!), heat kills them. I'm a little crazy about it now, but any second hand textiles (including purses!) get to spend an hour in my dryer when they come in. There's no need to wash and then dry, just go straight to the dryer and it'll handle it. This usually doesn't damage/shrink clothes like a full wash and dry will… I'd guess dry cleaning would kill them too as those chemicals are NASTY but I've but researched the.
Not a big fan of ThredUp. have ordered from them and the clothes were stained. Returned them. Also, I can find better deals with "Clothes Mentor" a woman's consignment shop in Central New York. They have amazing deals.. everything is clean, items look new and no bad smell in the store.
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text:
It's summer break and you want to be able to enjoy your children, I see so many parents counting down to the time school starts. Then when school starts, they count down to summer because the school schedule is a pain sometimes. It seems many parents are always counting down to the next whatever – be it summer or school. Stop. Enjoy the time you have with your kids, whether they are being totally awesome and getting along or having a case of sibling rivalry ALL DAY LONG, enjoy those moments. Time flies too quickly to not cherish every moment, yes even those patience testing times.
Here is how I survive summer (and other times of the year) with my three, very different children:
Always be proactive – you know how your kids work and what makes them tick. Planning ahead for things that will entertain them, allows the long drive to be more tolerable. For me, the middle child enjoys electronics as a means to keep himself occupied during a long trip, so I charge up the Nabi Tablet and encourage it being shut off when he's not using it (as I don't have a car charger for it at this time). For the other two, they bring along some small toys, coloring book and crayons or paper to play tic tac toe. Plan to have everything packed up and ready the night before to ensure you don't forget anything!
Set Expectations – Let your kids know what you expect of them. If they are not acting properly in the car, I don't care where you are, pull over and stop that vehicle. Do not yell and scream and get all stressed out because your children are not behaving, sure I get it, stopping and pulling over will make the trip take longer, but it's worth it to teach the children that you will stop if they don't behave properly in the car. Also let them know what you expect of them at the outing, such as not running off, staying a certain distance when walking with you, etc. One thing I do with my youngest, who is a bowl full of energy, is that he can run ahead a bit til I say STOP. He must stop when I say stop and not go again til I yell GO. This keeps him from having to restrain his energy, but also keeps him at a safe distance. If he doesn't listen, I make him hold my hand, this involves him screaming, yelling and being pretty mad, but he learns that is the consequence and I don't care if people "stare" at us, I am being the Mom.
Have Fun and Be Happy – Seriously, it's as simple as that. Sure it can be stressful and overwhelming to be at a packed beach or facility, with kids, but get over it! If you set the expectations ahead of time, follow through with a matter-of-fact consequence things get easier. Do not allow yourself to think "well this kid knows better" or get all grumpy because your child isn't listening. Kids will be kids. They will test limits; they will see what they can pull off, especially being out in public. Let your child know they have a consequence but have fun, don't get all tense over having to "deal with your child", it is going to happen, children will make the same mistake over and over sometimes too, it's all about teaching them how to not keep making the same mistake. Get down at their level, have fun, be silly and let loose. Just because you are laughing, having fun and letting loose doesn't mean your child won't respect you as a parent, they actually will learn to listen to you more because they will trust you are able to get down on their level and enjoy this Summer outing.
I am sure I could go on and on with more tips, but these three have been the best for myself, what are your extra tips you may have that work for your family? Do share in a comment below…
Featured Image Source: Pixabay


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Senator Leland Yee of California was quoted while speaking to the San Francisco Chronicle in reference to the school shooting in Newtown, Connecticut, "Gamers have got to just quiet down," Yee said. "Gamers have no credibility in this argument. This is all about their lust for violence and the industry's lust for money. This is a billion-dollar industry. This is about their self-interest."
Article: http://www.gamespot.com/news/gamers-need-to-quiet-down-says-ca-senator-6402953


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