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Halloween is a special time in the Sugar Daddy dating world. Many Sugar Daddies and Sugar Babies relish the idea of celebrating their sugar relationships during the Halloween fervor.
For those who've just recently resolved to find a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby, such as Kim Kardashian, there's perhaps never been a more exciting time to get acquainted with the sugar lifestyle.
Even if dating in the Sugar-Cauldron is nothing new for you, it's always important to remember that safety must be your top priority. While most sugars are indeed sweet, there have been known to be a few Goblin Daddies and Zombie Babies out there, so always beware.
Here are a few potions to help you put a Sugar Daddy or Baby under your spell this Halloween:
If you haven't settled on a Halloween costume yet, why not channel the spirits of iconic sugars past and present…
Sugar Daddy Halloween Looks:
Perhaps a Hugh Hefner inspired red silk bathrobe, slippers, cigar, and smirk? As for the Donald Trump look, the most important piece is the comb-over. You can either buy a Donald Trump Wig, or style your own hair to resemble the legendary flipped back coiffure (click here to watch Rosie O'Donnell perform 'The Donald').
The rest of the Donald look is easy – just make sure to wear a dark blazer, white shirt, thick bright tie, and whenever possible, lift one hand up near your face and point your middle and index fingers downward while saying, "you're fired".
Sugar Baby Halloween Looks:
With a platinum blond wig, you can pull off two popular SB persona's: Marlyn Monroe, or Anna Nicole Smith. For a Marylin look, have shoulder length platinum blond hair/wig, and wear a white halter dress ("The Seven Year Itch") or a hot pink strapless gown with matching gloves (Gentlemen Prefer Blonds). For Marilyn make-up, you'll need fake lashes or heavy mascara, red lipstick, and a fake mole.
For an Anna Nicole Smith look, you can use the same Marilyn Monroe wig, and wear a black halter dress (American Music Awards 2004), bra inserts (depending on your own size), stiletto platform shoes, and designer sunglasses.
Halloween Sugar Dates:
Sugars are celebrating Halloween this year like never before. SD's and SB's from all over the world gathered at the 1st annual Sugar Masquerade Ball in NYC this Monday. With Halloween spending up considerably this year, there's sure to be plenty of haunted offices and homes to visit with your midnight sugar.
Have you ever felt tricked by a Sugar Daddy or Sugar Baby?
What are your plans for this Halloween? Any sugar?
Hello, I feel a little silly but I'm new to all this. I've been looking but everything seems to fall flat. I'm starting to lose a little steam
Hey Sarah! I recently moved to Orlando from Miami 🙂 fort lauderdale was 45 minutes away! Are you new to this also or what?
I voted!
Michael, I drove from CT to NC to GA then back for my mom's wedding. 34 hours, 2200 miles, 11 states. Went from 80 to 50 to 30 degrees…NOT fun for the human body to go through. Or the wardrobe. I'm so confused! So instead of you visiting us, maybe we should all visit you and the 85 degree weather!
BiBaby-I was just passing through and was up 81 not 95 =( sorry….
@NY Gent
Thank You.. I just think that instead of settling for an arrangement that is not satisfying usually has to do with the quality of the person we enter an arrangement with and I am learning as well, and as I have focused on quality I am now finding it and very happy.
@ Muse: I hope you get to make it to Chicago soon.. If anyone is interested in a Chicago get together email me through my blog.
New blog topic up so see you on the other side.
Have a great day everyone, I'm off to the voting parlors!
Alleycat- lol. So true…..(Also, I'm terribly jealous that it's 85 degrees in Az. Mind sending some of that warmth east?)
Sunny Funny- I'm sure there are lots of SBs who would love to come visit Midwest (and possibly meet other SBs while) in Chicago. I know I'm trying to get out there to see her myself…hopefully in the near future. 🙂
AM- Me too. Thank God for naps.
Trouble is, no matter who you vote for, you always end up with a politician…. 😉
Morning all!!! Another day in paradise here in Arizona. 85 today.
Please exercise your civic right and duty today, and VOTE!!
I daydream about potentials while at work…does that count? lol
Sunny Funny: your "quality vs. quantity" blog is a really great list, I recommend it to others.
@ Arctic SD: I empathize with you dilemma as the majority of us have all faced this at times! Although maturity generally comes with age, it also comes through life experiences if we are open and willing to learn and grow from them. I had to lurk for awhile to take a good look at myself and how I contributed to my own drama at one point.. we all play a part through our actions and reactions. I learned from my own experience and I worked on me and came out stronger due to the process.. I know now what I want in an arrangement and not willing to settle for a person of less substance in the character traits category.. but opened myself up to traveling to a SD as the quality in my area is sadly lacking and in short supply. There are many beautiful women in the 40's age group so I wish you well..but try to learn before a meet a little about what they do in their private life.. if they nurture their friendships.. if their friendships fizzle out quickly or have the duration of time as this is a big clue to who they really are. I agree with Midwest SB "but to give a detailed story of some sincere accomplishment shows character."… that statement is packed with wisdom and spot on.
@ Midwest SB.. are there other SB's who might be interested in a fun SB get together in our area in Chicago? I do not mind traveling to other areas to meet some of the other SB's on the blog but would love to get to know some in the Midwest.. would you be interested in a girls night out? Any one else in the Midwest interested?
@ College Baby Nice to hear it is working out for you.. just always be true to yourself but also take time to spoil and learn about your SD too so you will feel completely comfortable with him when the time comes to move your relationship up a notch.. it is obvious that he is words are meeting his walk to a great degree. I would still keep my eyes open though.. as it often takes time to see the true character of a person!
Goodmorning all!
Dianaos, I went to UCF and lived in Orlando for 5 years, I am now in Ft. Lauderdale, but I go back to Orlando alot. Welcome doll!
I ended up in a 5 hr phone conversation (until 3am!) with a sugar sister, and thus didn't sleep long enough! Cuddling with a Bengal kitty & about to have an afternoon nap now….
GOOOOOOD Morning, Sugar Blog!
It's a Terrific Tuesday, and the blahs of Monday are behind us as the week progresses.
Do you use the workweek to meet potentials, or is that activitiy only for the weekend?
Good Mornin'! I didn't sleep very well last night….sigh
@Nygent, yep same guy. As for the cc, he admitted that he was/is not ready to give me the card with his super high limit but has ordered it and so now it feels like a tease but whatever. Maybe once he gets the goods, he'll change his tone. However, I'm not gonna take things any faster for a stupid cc, so if that's the case, he can keep it. Anyway so thanks:)
He is still too clingy though, so I don't know what to do about this issue.
And I have fam and a history in LA having been on tv and everything, so that is the story behind that.
OMG, it's 3 am and I still cannot sleep!
Two weeks to the SSS in manhattan! Woohoo!
StoodUp – she was kidding when she mentioned nexting him, and explained that to you last time she was posting.
And as for the gilded cage, a couple months is too soon to tell whether it is or isn't. I'm not saying there's anything wrong out of moving into a home you can't afford at all on your own should the arrangement end suddenly, but living in a place he pays for where he bought all the furniture is certainly going beyond the normal NSA arrangement and into kept mistress territory, requiring greater commitment on his part, and more trust on hers, as well as a level of vulnerability many of us world be wary of. I would consider that maybe after 6-12 months of a 'simple' pure arrangement. There is no 'my life, your life, & sometimes our life' in such a scenario, as her whole existence is affected by his flights of fancy. Which right now is going great, in the first 3 months….
I hope the power he has over her doesn't corrupt him eventually into an entitled jerk, and things continue to go great for her!
LA (or SF) CollegeBaby: This is the same guy you thought was being cheap on your birthday gift and shady re a credit card and you were ready to "Next" on the advice of some bloggers? Congrats, doesn't sound like you ended up in the "gilded cage"after all!
Helllo all,
I've been kinda busy but kinda keeping up with the blog.
Update: My sd is still kinda clingy but is great to me. I've been in my apt for a few wks now. My apt is fully furnished by him and it looks great. He's come here to visit but no intimacy yet..it's going on 3 months and I appreciate his patience. We have done thr typical, fine dining, and shopping. Almost 3 months and about 16k later, I can't help but feel very lucky. Although I am kinda new to this, if anyone needs advice or anything, please contact me. I've learned a lot during this journey and have also set certain standards that I think has led to my success.
We are going on a few trips this wkend and next wkend. He is such a great guy and I'm sooo happy we met.
Sd Guru, thanks for the invite to share my experience/ask for advice (you offered that weeks ago) and I will definitely be contacting you in the near furture and when I have time.
Oh and no one grill me on this one, but I am actually in SF…lol. The LA thing is a long story but I think no one ever asked neway but I thought I'd just reveal that now so I don't further confuse neone. So yea, it's nice here in Sf, my sd is great and I am happy. Any girls in SF? Oh and I will change my name to SFCollegebaby in my next post.
Lurking this blog! Haha it's
So hard to lurk with an itouch.. But anywho I'm new to this whole SB thing. I want to meet girls around me leading the same lifestyle just so I can get the comfortable feel for it seeing as I'm still kind of a wuss about it! I reside in Orlando florida. Any sugar babies around me?
Thanks,Sunnyfunny, I am new and I will look at your blog and around here too!
Random tech question – how do I get an image in my comments like all your pretty ladies?
Hi MW! I'm feeling better, but, the ankle still looks bad, time for a follow up with the Dr., it has been a month already!
Oh yes, the dungeon is sooo ready 😉
Arctic ~ I'm a VERY naughty girl! 😉
GESL – Great story! At least you know he's sincere!
DCCSB – Feeling any better?
Holy smiley faces!
It was indeed a manic monday and I'm sooooo glad it's almost over!
Belle – So glad you are well!
Guru is alive!!! At least until Thurs/Fri!
Arctic – I'm in my 40s and each gentleman finds it refreshing that I am honest, easy to relax around and drama free. Age has some to do with it, but maturity and life lived have the most to do with it. Perhaps screening questions such as tell me about your friends (if she's had close friends for a long time it shows stability) or what makes her proud. Being proud of your kids is one thing, but to give a detailed story of some sincere accomplishment shows character.
We're supposed to get snow this weekend…time to start planning that FL vacation. Again 🙂
NM – Sooooo glad to see you are feeling better! Have you prepared the dungeon?
Good Luck Arctic! have fun.
Sara – thank you for the head's up. You are very convincing. I might consider the ladies who are in their twenties the next time:) Okay, time to go out and meet my pot SB……wish me luck.
Arctic – For the record, I usually get along better with the older SD's. They seem to just want to have fun, where as the ones in their 20's have too much money too fast and think they can buy anything, the ones in their 30's are avoiding marriage (or looking), etc.
Sara – definitely agree with you but when you hit 50+, the age gap becomes quite a issue with some ladies in the twenties. If it is just pure intimacy, it is not so much a problem but when you go beyond that, there is a tad of a gap. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule.
Anna M (is it the naughty one?) – could not stay away from the sugar bowl. The candies are just too yummy:)
Arctic ~ Good to see you're jumping back into the bowl!
Arctic – I don't know if age generalizations are accurate in the sugar world. I like to think of myself as a mature person in my 20's…and I have a cousin is a very immature pushing 40 (if you know what I mean).
Sunny FSB – Both previous SBs in the thirties, the first late and the second (crazy SB, gave her a name) early. I try to stay away from the twenties. Perhaps I should upped the future SB to the forties?
Meeting one pot SB tonight and this time mid thirties. If this one produces dramas as well, then I will definitely move up the age limit. BTW I am early fifty.
The irony was that the crazy SB's profile was complaining of the fakes and wanted only to meet a serious SD. I guess I was fooled by the profile, eh?
@bibaby- I hear ya. It is strange. Everything else is so upfront (money, sex, marriages, etc.) why couldn't they be upfront about not being interested? I am a curvy girl so I guess part of me is lways worried they will think I am overweight or something too. Who knows. Crazy men lol
where in nowhere VA? I'm south of DC, I wish I had known you might be nearby!!
I had foot surgery this morning, so I'm stuck gimped up and online for another 2 days.
I had the same thing happen last week…my pot SD meet I thought went wonderful, had a great lunch, nice looking gentleman, even called to see I was safely home. Then nothing. No reply to a phone message, SA message or email message in 72 hours. I'm abandoning attempts but again, it would save everyone a world of trouble if a gentleman would be just that and say "hey, thanks for the lovely time, but I just dont see this working." I am left wondering what I did wrong. I'm not ugly or overweight or clingy so I have NO clue what happened….*sigh*
Moving on in the sugar bowl, I had a great arrangement IRL before I just am hoping I can repeat it on the internet.
Sd Guru – and 24 days till my bday
@ Sara This is the typical Poof scenario and they often do go poof.. got to get a thicker skin and not let it bother you. Do not take it personal.. some on the site are not real, or wannabes who really do not know what the sugar world is all about. Be grateful you found it out now and not later so less time invested…Next!
@ Hunie: You may want to check out my blog if this is your first time as there are many helpful hints there.. also on the home page of SA there is an advice section that can help you with how to start a conversation with a Pot… most important is that he want to help you but you need to let him know what type of help you need and what it entails such as tuition, bills etc. and a good way to start that conversation is simply saying You had mentioned you want to help me.. how do you envision what that help will entail.. learn what he is willing to do then let him know what you need and see if you can reach an agreement.
Sara — don't take it personally. He was most likely a pooF daddy! He was just moving on to the next person for the thrill and really wasn't serious SD material… happens to both SBs and SDs all the time… hang in there!
A very Happy Monday to all in the Sugar Bowl.
What a weekend!
@arctic SD: Glad to hear you are moving on and not letting that experience sour you, when we all know that the sugar can be so sweet! Just out of curiosity the SB's with so much drama… what age group are they in? Maturity some times goes with age and if what you are doing keeps bringing you to the drama queens you might want to expand your search and try one a few years older than what you are now looking at… just a thought. I was once told by a pot SD that anyone over 21 was already jaded and bitter.. also he enjoyed the drama.. truth is age does not really play that much into it but being genuine and true to who you are does. I steer away from profiles that brag too much now realizing that a true gentleman doesn't need to and just pay attention to the actions. I also have learned to take time to know them before the first meet and it helped. I wish you the best and keep us updated . 😉
Guru: Glad to see you are still in the living.. and tyvm for all the wisdom and advice you shared with me.. you were so right and new SD is a gem. 😉
I am starting a new (two weeks)relationship with a new sd. He says he cares for me and wants to take care of me…
What all does that entail? I am separated, no kids and want to finish school.
I really like him and he really likes me, how do we start the conversation?
SD's – I need some advice, I had a pot email me, sounding very interested. So I emailed him back. We chatted a few emails from this site, so I asked how to best contact him to get to know him better (IM, text, call, etc.), because as a personal rule I don't like meeting anyone without a few days to get to know them (I am 4 ft. 8 girl, someone could steal me! lol). Now he seems totally disinterested. I feel completely clingy and annoying. What gives? He contacted me, not the other way around.
Any advice?
Arctic – Sorry to hear about the sour sugar! This kind of stuff isn't the norm!
@Carebear – wtf? What are doing in a car for 24 hours? Where are you coming from and going to? And why?
NYC SB – yours noted with thanks. I will remind her but not now as she is not thinking straight. Sometimes when a person is in a fiesty mood, locking horns may not serve its purpose especially with this ex SB who is quite full of herself.
NYC SB can be dangerous to your health … Let's just say someone had an asthma attack last night :p
Arctic – just kindly remind her that cash in exchange for sex is illegal so unless she wants to serve time for prostitution she should consider keeping her mouth shut
Dandelion and college sb always make excellent points. As long as they're around, I don't have to exercise my little fingers.
Instead I can focus all of my energy on harassing michael. Hour 24 in the car in the middle of no where VA and I'm so brain dead it just took me 5 minutes to figure out how to spell exercise.
Glad to hear you had a wonderful weekend! When might you be hitting the east coast to grace us with yourself at one of these sugar meets, hmmm?
Belle-happy to see there's still a pulse. *cheesey sugar family hug*
The usual suspects should check their inbox within the hour. Sorry for the delay pals!
NC Gent – A roll of the dice just like IRL dating. Moreover, the true self seldom rear their head until they get comfortable and stop pretending.
Of course, this goes both ways, SD or SB. Just human nature, I guess.
Thank you for your help. For the time being, I will just try to ignore everything from the ex SB until some legal paper show up (maybe, maybe not).
In any case, the sugar world suits my present life so I guess I will keep swimming in it until then.
Arctic SD — screening does indeed help, but I have found that sometimes it can take 2-3 dates to reveal a true personality/lifestyle. I am an experienced SD, and I have had some interesting experiences recently…. not sure I could have even screened them out. I am finding the same thing as you 🙂
Goooooooood Morning Sugar Blog!
It's another Manic Monday, where we drop out of the Sugar World of Smiley faces 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 and back into nonSugarWorld of daily living.
Did this Halloween weekend leave you with a sweet aftertaste?
I mean "imagine"
No matter how hard I tried to screen screen and screen, even meet 2 -3 times before the arrangement, the flake still get through.
This sugar dating is not as easy as I imangine.
There you go Arctic! Glad you are jumping back into the sugar bowl, no more crazies (ok?).
Lily, Sara – thank you for your thoughts.
I will follow your advise and ignore her so I would not even bother to tell her that I reported myself.
Meeting a pot tonight for drinks and she is local. Hope she does not turn out to be another femme fatal.
P.S. Arctic – you should tell her you already reported yourself to SA. lol
Artic – Seriously Sweetheart, I agree with Lily.
Ignore her & focus your efforts on finding a quality SB.
All – thanks for all the input.
The arrangement went on for 2 solid months with all allowances paid plus extra spoiling with shopping. There was no promise of time frame of the arrangement. Since she was from another city, all transport were paid for.
However, when the drama started I just realised this is not the sugar life I was expecting. It might as well be IRL so I decided to end the arrangement.
Anyway, the latest text was that she wants to report me to SA and I just wonder if she has lost her concept of what SA is all about.
Will update you all with her latest antics.
Seriously? 11 smiley faces in one post? Really? Even I am not that positive! You are sounding almost Anerican, with all that happy happy joy joy stuff.
Hey Belle ;-). good to see you back.
oooh woops smiley face overload- the sunshine is making me a bit too happy!.. this is Adoc btw 🙂
Hey all.
Im okay, exams are nearly over- then just a month of placement/coursework and casestudies and done 🙂 not to return until late jan :D.
Its hard to be sad/mad when summer has suddenly decided to show its face. I took my readings to the beach today- absolute paradise 🙂 3 hrs reading- 1 hr swim :D. 3 hrs reading- another swim 😛 you get the picture. -sigh- most beautiful country in the world. 😉 Now back at the library and about to enter round three of study … but had to check the blog 😀
@articSD: wow i would say she is BS you. ps: did you pay up to what you owed her?? i assume she didnt go short or anything? everyone else has given great advice 🙂
@carebear: thanks for ur emails: will reply again sooon :D. whenever I see your name on the blog- i picture that beautiful girl next door smile 🙂
@guru: where are you
@michael: glad you survived 🙂
Carebear – where are you today? btw – I survived the sleepover for my daughters birthday.
1. There probably is no contract
2. If it was determined that there was a contract, as NY Gent says, it would be voidable as it would be deemed "as void as against public policy.
3. What was the breach, and what are her damages? $3k? Really?
4. Dude, another example of more drama. Move on. And tell her to grow up, get over it and move on herself.
Disclaimer: I failed 1st year Law. I was the one up the back with my hand up yelling "But what about justice???".
(and stop putting future terms in emails)
That would be a good advice for someone intending to deceive, I don't see how it would be useful to a sincere honest SD looking for a mutually beneficial arrangement with clearly defined boundaries …
Dandelion it is good to see you on the blogs..;
Arctic SD: It can also be viewed as her way of bribing you.. court judges are fickle and lawyers even more so.. it would cost her to bring forth the suit as even ambulance chasers would not want to touch this one without a sizable container so get google voice and block her calls and send her emails to a separate folder and do not read them and save yourself the stress. Obviously just more drama than you need. Unless you agreed in written form to a type of severance or a guaranteed period of time that you would support her you should be okay.
Just do not let the sour apple interfere with your enjoyment of a sugar life. 😉
P.S. Artic- Dandelion makes a good point. If it was just a standard agreement and you decided to end it, than my points all stand. However if you received her end and didnt fulfill yours than she could try for the rape by fraud clause.
ArcticSD: I don't think you have to worry, though not for the reasons others have given. It has nothing to do with the "contract" being written or oral — many oral contracts are enforceable, and emails certainly are sufficient to constitute a written contract. Huge multi-million dollar breach of contract cases are brought by corporations against each other, every day, based on nothing more than emails.
The gist of the suit wouldn't be based on an employment theory, so "at will" doesn't really help you.
More substantial defenses are that the alleged "contract" is probably too indefinite to be enforceable, and/or lacks "consideration," and/or would be viewed as void as against public policy.
In any event, the practical reality is that (a) unless the plaintiffs' lawyer is Gloria Allred, trying to establish some precedent and (b) you are famous (or extremely, extremely, rich), you will not be sued. The most that could be claimed in "damages" is if the other person did something specifically in reliance on your "promise" (such as paid a semester's tuition when they otherwise would not have), and told you they were relying on your promise. For the few thousand bucks at most we're talking about, nobody is going to pursue it in court, especially a case as weak as this.
so sleep tight (and stop putting future terms in emails!)
As a law student I can totally help you with this.
Let's assume the absolute extreme worse. She finds a lawyer dumb enough to take her case, she has "proof" of an arrangement (aka "contract"), she finds an obscure law she can sue you for….. The key is time range.
Say you said I will give you x amount if she fulfills x, y, and z…..As long as you never said "This arrangement will last 6 months, a year, or forever, etc." She has nothing, because it was indefinate.
You promised her A in return for B. Not A in return for B for a certain duration.
It is like getting fired from a job, unless a job has a specific time length guarenteed to you, there isn't much you can do. Further more, you could treat her like an employee. Most states are "right to work states", meaning you can fire her for any reason without consequences (being able to be sued for "wrongful termination") and she can walk away from the job without consequences (being able to be sued for "job abandonment" or another liability).
So basically rest easy, she has got nothing. I doubt your contract said how long this would last for, and she is a fool for thinking it would last forever.
Arctic, did you "terminate the arrangement" or "terminate the arrangement after she delivered her end of the deal but before you delivered yours"?
If second, it would depend on the state you are in. California, Alabama, Tennessee, and Michigan have legislation for rape by fraud, while Massachussets doesn't (sourc in the link)
Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer and "research" took all of 5 min
College SB – no signed contract or any employment situation. Just your normal proper sd-sb agreement prior to exchanging of sugar.
TLG – thank you for yr input.
I am just curious plus seeking a little peace of mind as there must be numerous arrangement termination so I wonder if the blog has ever encountered such a situation.
As a layman myself, I just wonder what breach there is if I am not getting any free sugar here.
Uh, if sex/intimacy is mentioned anywhere in that arrangement, then the SB is an idiot if she's threatening to go to a lawyer. In fact, her threatening to go to a lawyer is a dumb move all together unless you added her on your payroll as a secretary or some other type of profession. The "companion" thing is sketchy… yeah, that one sounds nutty.
Otherwise, she can't hold anything you verbally said against you unless she was psycho enough to tape it. And as for emails, that's really not enough evidence. What she would need is some form of a signed contract.
ARCTIC SD says:
A question to the blog. How legal binding is an arrangement on SA?
IANAL, nor do I play one on TV, so here's my Layman's take on the situation:
Your most proper course of action here is probably to wait and see what she actually does, not what she says she's going to do.
1. You indicate that she has threatened to get an attorney. Umtil she actually does so, there's nothing there but a drama attempt at strong-arming you.
2. Assuming she can actually find an attorney willing to take the case, what exactly could she take you to court for? Breach of contract–depending on the laws of your area–usually involves a signed document by both parties, which she cannot produce. I doubt that the email(s) alone would be considered a contract, and a verbal agreement becomes he said/she said.
3. Assuming that she actually finds an attorney willing to take the case–and a court willing to consider it–if she adheres to the breach of contract argument your basic defense could be that you terminated your contractual employee in your Employment-at-Will state. (you ARE in an EaW state, right? Most are.)
A question to the blog. How legal binding is an arrangement on SA?
I have a case of a sour SB who threaten to go to a lawyer for a breach of contract when I decided to end the arrangement. Is this an empty threat or is there really some legal leg to stand on.
The arrangement is both verbal and in email on how the sugar is to be arranged. Nothing out of the ordinary other than the exchange of the sugar, i.e. allowance on the number of visits per month.
I had to end the arrangement as there was just too much drama.
Midwest SB: Sarah has been sent your email addy 🙂
Best sugar wishes!!
@Gemi: I so agree with TLG's advice.. and in the beginning it can feel very awkward. I have learned to take the time to talk and email the pot.. specifically to learn a little about him before I talk on the phone and when I do speak to one I have an idea of what to talk about from the clues in his emails for example his likes and dislikes. When I feel awkward about discussing certain things I try to to find out about a pot's previous arrangements and how they worked out for him.. when they open up about this it helps me to know more about them and serves as an ice breaker for me. But with a newbie SD it is more difficult and I just wait it out to see if they will bring it up.. but always make sure before agreeing to a meet that they have a good understanding of what an agreement is and entails. I have sent help articles that are on the right side of the seeking arrangement home page to help them at times. We all have different ways of approaching things and no one way is right or wrong just have to find what works for you that you are comfortable with. 😉
Gemi, welcome back. I thought maybe you'd been frozen in that snowstorm in D.C. and now come back to life, fully preserved, as in cryogenics (!). I was AWOL from the blog for several months too and came back a while ago. Sounds like you're doing well
PS – Stephan could you please share my e-mail with Sara? Thanks doll!
Evening sugars!
Gemi!!! So glad to see you are back!
DCCSB – I think enough has been said. Let me say that I'm glad you made it out of there with some shred of dignity intact and a huge lesson learned.
Ladies- No amount of money is worth rushing into anything. Treat this closely to regular/online dating with benefits when it comes to screening; don't feel like you have to compromise or you'll never find another SD; BE SAFE!
NC Gent- We were on opposite coasts!
Halloween was a blast with family and friends! Let's say "Girls Night In" was extra special this time! I discovered a new realm of influence :-)))))
oh and if you are wary of discussing locationish things here you can e-mail me: arcadianserenity at the g male place. I suppose I'll try and organize, though…I'm basically hte most disorganized person in the world, so God help us all 😉
Who is in for a Nashville meet up?
Gemi says:
The hard part I think for most people (or at least me) is how to have those conversations without sounding cold or like you are laying down rules or explaining the ins and outs of a contract.
It IS difficult, Gemi–at least at first. We've all been trained that such topics are taboo in our society, and that it's almost immoral to bring them up even with nonSugarWorld potential partners. It's all in how you phrase and ask.
What works for me is the same as when learning about someone in the nonSugarWorld:
(Please note that these same questions could be used for non-intimacy-related answers as well.)
What do you like?
What are you into?
Is there anything special that you enjoy, or want to try?
..questions along those lines, but phrased to fit personalities involved and the moment. Let me point out that since we are all adults (allegedly in my case 😉 ) on a site promoting Sugar arrangements that IMO we should all expect to have to bring up these questions, as intimacy is an important part of the majority of arrangements out there.
Those Puritans, though, sure still cast a LONG shadow…
Sunny Funny – Hi! Thanks for the welcome back! I think your point (and TLGs) about communicating the expectations up front is very good. The hard part I think for most people (or at least me) is how to have those conversations without sounding cold or like you are laying down rules or explaining the ins and outs of a contract. They are always SO awkward for me… or maybe they are awkward because I hadn't met the right guy yet? Something at the very least that I will have to get good at fast as I move ahead in this sugar journey again!
I am a yogaholic for halloween 🙂 class at 111 degrees is crazy
Happy Halloween everyone!!!
Et tu DCCSSB?
Just finishing catching up on all the activity on the blog last night. I am going to comment in general as not only have I gotten caught up in uncomfortable situations in the past.. but many of us have been in similar situations. Some wise SD's and SB's kept telling me careful screening which I now do but this does not mean a flake is not going to get past my radar! Safety and I am not talking simply about condoms but safety that does not put us into a vulnerable situation where we feel trapped or insecure until we really feel secure with this person. IRL many of us have went out and got picked up by the good looking stud at the bar, got a little too much alcohol in us and threw caution to the wind and went back to his place.. some scenarios worked out and some ended up with us living a RL scary moment that we hopefully learn from. So why in the sugar world do we SB's throw caution to the wind when we are not ready to do so.. do we feel it is required because we have entered an arrangement???
I must agree with The Lone Gunman who stated "knew what arrangements were about and the need for total communication and honesty when entering into them. This has always included a frank talk about sexuality and expectations (for both sides)." TLG very well put and spot on!!! Having this frank talk before entering an arrangement is essential but it also helps to build communication skills with you Pot..again it does not mean that a situation or kink is not going to slip by your radar but to have successful arrangements that are mutually beneficial and last a while it takes laying the foundation. In the past on my blog I have shared what I have learned about the screening process and asking those hard questions along with what questions I felt were important to ask. Last month I changed my approach and now ask right up front about a Pot's kinks.. I also ask about previous arrangements and what made them work or made them fizz out quickly to gain some insight. Through the SA Blog community I have learned to be proactive in what I am looking for and my search became easier and even exciting and then it happened.. I found a SD of quality.. we are in an arrangement but taking things slow and yes these type of SD's do exist.. and they want to be pampered as much as we want to be pampered.
Building that foundation especially in the Sugar World is essential to having a successful arrangement where we feel secure, for me to feel secure trust must exist. My new SD gave me my allowance up front when we came to an agreement the very same day.. with that out of the way he gained a little of my trust by doing so. Last night I spent the whole night with him.. and we explored some.. went to a party.. and mostly spent the night just cuddling and sharing and yes developing trust. He told me when I was ready to take the next step just to tell him.. gentleman he is.. and in the past I would have felt that once the money was in my hand that I had to do what he wanted right then and there. What changed is that I realized I am not selling my self.. I am accepting an allowance/ financial help from someone because they simply want to help me.. but the intimate stuff should come naturally through learning about each other.. and exploring each others likes and dislikes just like IRL. The difference is we are not looking for a love connection but simply build a mutually beneficial relationship for a limited period of time with someone who we enjoy being around. Oh the sugar will come.. and the wait will be well worth it.
My point in this long winded post is that we all get fooled from time to time or at least most of us do, and careful screening, practicing safety and frank communication can help us avoid some of the pitfalls. Many SD and SB's have blogs where they share their experiences and give clues on how to avoid some of that. It is up to each of us to learn if we show choose how to negotiate the sugar world in safety .
@ Gemi Welcome Back hun! (formerly Sunnylane) I took a short sabbatical at one point myself to redirect myself and figure things out. Very healthy for the soul. 😉
@Green Eyed Sugar: Wow! It is a small world but how delightful.. and what a sugary way to start the Halloween weekend. 😉
@ Guru: Where are you? Are you lurking? Miss your words of wisdom and hope you are getting lots of sugar coating this weekend. 😉
Happy Hallow Everyone
Double post sorry
Damn blackberry
There is lily's meet in nyc in a few weeks, something else in the city in dec, then I may come down to charlotte, nc to see family and friends and possibly have a sugar get together.
Sincerelysugar, you have been emailing me! Der!
Blondes to the second power, watch out people!
Happy halloween friends!
There is lily's meet when she is in nyc in nov, something else in the city in dec, then I may visit charlotte, nc in the future to see fam and friends and organize a sugar meet.
Sincerelysugar-u have been emailing me! Der!
Happy halloween friends!
Green Eyed Sugar Lady – A tale of sugar fate! omg! How wonderful for you both!
Dear blog,
Happy Halloween (or Samhain if you prefer! :D)
DCCSSB, that sucks, but it's good that you are safe and didn't leave the experience completely sugarless. I'd say next if I were you. No amount of money is worth feeling unsafe over.
I think it's easy to forget when someone shares an experience like this that people are often on their better behavior early on… or worse, are being deliberately deceptive. Sometimes no amount of "screening" is going to prepare someone for a surprising or unexpected situation. Not ever man is going to reveal all of his kinks from the get-go, or tell you that he doesn't want to use a condom (in fact, the times this has been pulled on me it's always been in the moment with no prior discussion- and I don't think that's an accident.) I think the best that can be done in these situations is learn from it, move on, and try and not become too jaded.
I have an uncanny story to share, and this seems like the perfect day to do that. I met my current SD a couple of months ago. I was just about ready to give up on my search for a good old fashioned mistress situation when we met. I had been lamenting the demise of the sugar world and really thinking about my first *real* SD from a little over ten years ago, how great it would be to find a relationship like that again.
Then I met my current, he reminded me so much of him, the similarities were amazing, similar business, same taste in many things (including some that are rather obscure),and if my memory was serving me correctly, even a physical resemblance (although he would have been much older.) I've shared this with him, we've joked about it, and he too has come out with a "have we met before"? from time to time. We've been chalking it all up to coincidence, karma, something. Before we met he was ready to give up as well.
We went for sushi the other night, as we were deciding what to order, he suggested something rather adventurous and asked if I'd had it before. I replied yes, and you're not going to believe this, but your "predecessor" introduced me to it, actually."
"Did you go by the name of _____ back then?"
I almost dropped my chopsticks.
"It's me."
So you might be wondering how the recognition didn't happen right away… well, this was a long time ago, my hair was a slightly different color, and at the time I didn't use my real name (I am pretty sure I slipped though, and gave him my real name, but he didn't remember that.) Also, the geography was wrong- before, he didn't live in my city, and he does now. Turned out shortly after our parting the first time, he lived overseas for a year and moved to my city when he returned. Plus, I would have expected him to look a lot older than he does, I think the aging has just mellowed him a little and that also threw me off from being completely certain this was the same person.
So we spent the evening enjoying sushi together (again), and playing a lot of "do you remember….?"
He said the best part is he was actually feeling a little jealous of this guy, now he doesn't have to. We both agree that it's better we met again now when we did, because of some things going on in our respective personal lives back then. He is happy he no longer needs to feel a little jealous of this guy who is so like him that I have spoken so highly of, since it was him all along.
Still, this is really weird. I don't feel the need to do anything spooky for Halloween, that's for sure! This is enough. 🙂
TLG- Thanks! and then I went to send you an email and my acct is not totally live yet (still waiting on photo and profile approval) so I can't send or respond to emails yet. But I did wink at you 😉 As soon as I go live we'll catch up! 🙂
It looks like everyone is still out treating themselves!
347818 is what you're looking for.
Really want to catch up with you!
TLG – 🙂 I fell off the face of the earth (literally, it IS flat, you can fall off, and space is cold, lonely and boring). But I'm in a much much better place now (emotiaonlly and financially), so I'm really happy. Plus I really wanted to come back here and tell all the fantastic SDs and SBs big THANK YOU!!s for all the kindness and generosity that goes on in the sugar world and sugar blog. How are you?? I tried to find your profile to send you a message but I couldn't find it.
I carved a huge pumpkin last night, that was the extent of my halloween shenanigans.
@carebear-Nevermind!! LOL! I just realized who u were….already have it bahahahaha
Good Morning, Sugar Blog!!
It's Sleepy Sunday, where we all tend to slowly shake off the excesses of the passions we experienced over the weekend days (and Nights).
How is your Halloween so far? Did you dress up and roll in Sugar?
My weekend? It's my daughters 12th birthday, we are having a sleepover of ten (count 'em) 12 y o. girls. So far, so good.
@NCGENT-Thank you!! @Carebear-What's your email?! I want to go!!!!
TLG— NE OHIO SB is one of my best friends…. she is NOT involved with SDN OHIO or whatever is the name…. she's doing well! i'll have to tell her you remembered her!
I think you meant this for NYGent.
I will have to disagree…. I actually enjoy winks, its like a step up from favoriting someone. It allows me to bookmark someone and simultaneously tell them I am interested. Usually I follow up with an email shortly after.
v. badbunny ———- i LOVE your blog!!!! magnifique!!!! :))))))))
TLG— NE OHIO SB is one of my best friends…. she is NOT involved with SDN OHIO or whatever is the name…. she's doing well! i'll have to tell her you remembered her! 🙂
and i'll agree with you re : the "winks"…. i, too, find them lame and as NYC SB said, it's an indication of 'interest', but not enough to actually write a message. pffffffft. next.
gosh, these kinds of stories fire up my justice complex. i'm still trying to wrap my head around this whole idea of so called "sugar"….
it's a fun idea to bat around… to me right now it seems like a chess match between enterprising, beautiful women and the men who are rich enough to entertain this whole game… ?
i find it very fascinating.
i am at a stage in my life where i have worked very hard and been through some tough times to attain something that was ultimately taken away from me in the blink of an eye.
now, i am devoted to spending the next two years of my life on whims, flights of fancy.. maybe a pipe dream or two…
i have a few projects on the go… this sugar dream is one of them.
on that note, i was flown out to meet someone who was a FAKE AND PHONY earlier this week. .. i gave him a taste of his own medicine… i think…
or maybe i was in the wrong? i don't know really.
details on my blog.
best of luck to all
But now I am confused and wondering if all sugar relationships are like this. Meaning that there is more of a feeling that you have to do what is being requested because they feel like they have given you money?
Not every SD is like that. You mention that he has never been an SD before, and that may be part of the problem. If he has no template to go by, he may have defaulted to one that's oh-too-common: the escort attitude. There are people on both sides of the SD/SB equation that fall into this trap because they misunderstand what arrangements actually are.
I know I was fortunate in that I was mentored into being an SD by an acquaintance with experience, so that when the time came I knew what arrangements were about and the need for total communication and honesty when entering into them. This has always included a frank talk about sexuality and expectations (for both sides).
Do we know each other–or am I confusing you with another?
I am thinking that I will. But now I am confused and wondering if all sugar relationships are like this. Meaning that there is more of a feeling that you have to do what is being requested because they feel like they have given you money? I am not sure how this works but I am now wearier of the process. That is okay. I need to rethink things.
Yes. He gave me sugar twice. However, we agreed upon a certain amount for twice a month meeting. He sent me a message prior to our date and discussed with me that he wanted to continue with that agreement which meant that additional amount. Either way its niether here nor there. I did as agreed and if he does as he agreed this following week then great. If not then I am not going to cry over spilled milk. I am understanding enough to know that I can only hope for the best and brace myself for the worse. I don't think he was like a lot of people because he has never been a SD before. It's okay that you didn't want to engage in car talk. But I don't think the car discussion was that big of a deal. I was just wanting to talk to you guys about something that's it. A nice idea to have fun with. I knew I wouldn't let him buy me a car until it was well into the relationship. He isnt the one ending the arrangement and he doesn't know yet that the arrangement is over. So I am sure he is really giving but I don't think I am the right sugar baby for him. Because in essence nothing would be wrong if I was open to having sex with him unprotected and willing to do whatever it is he requested sexually. We would still be in a great arrangement then. Because I do have faith that more than likely he will not be shady about the money. I don't thnk its his fault or mine. I just look at it as a lesson learned and know that I wont be going out with him again. Maybe I will even tell him that it just wont work because we are not sexually compatible. I don't think it was right for him to spring something up that we had already previously discussed. He tried to convince me on the spot which was not cool and could happen to anyone. No matter how much anyone "screens" no one really knows what a person will say or do even if you think you have a better idea. He was not the first guy or only person who came across my profile and I had talked to several different potentials before narrowing it to him. But come to find out he isnt all he cracked up to be. I am not a fan of any man who when I say no they give me a hard time. No pun intended. Nothing happened that I was not okay with happening. Thankfully after I persistentlly declined and put my clothes on he didn't continue to make it an issue. That's what I am really glad for.
P.S I knew you would say those things anyway but honestly the odds are greater for relationships not working then they are for working. So really the fact that it didn't work is not that big of a deal. Just how the cookie crumbles.
I should have been more repetitive and insisted on the money upfront. I agree with that. But I do not think I am less of a woman or something because I didn't ensure that every step of the way that happened. Or less ballsy. I think if I was less ballsy. I would have let him have sex with me unprotected and anything else he had wanted. But again in regards to the allowance, I do agree with you. Thanks
Sorry that I have given you another story that has you annoyed or upset or on a soapbox. But that was not really my aim.
I was okay with everything. Even was okay with the sex…I became uncomfortable when he wanted to take the condom off and when he asked me to do something I am not sure I would even do for my husband (if I had one). We had discussed before what we were into sexually. But he is very reserved acting and didn't mention that he was into those things until we were already in the moment of doing something. Which was not cool. We talk every day Monday through Friday. And never was any of this mentioned. Oh well. How do you know when the moment is right to start a sexual part of the relationship?
Naughty Molly
Thanks..will do
Thank you for being so sweet. I don't know I guess I am wondering if what I am looking for is unrealistic. Maybe all SD's are looking for pornographic sex or fetishes. I can't live up to that. I am sure there are people who can and that's good for those people but I am just not one of them. I do hope that all SD's arent like that and wouldn't just propose something. I havent even heard of sexually to someone and then make it seem as though they have no choice. His profile is on another site. I am not sure he would be considered a rapist since he didn't force me to do what he was asking and eventually let it go.
I completely agree with every single thing that you said.
I understand what you mean but what if you were okay with everything and discussed sex previously and in the middle the person tried to do something you said you were not willing to do? I spoke up by saying no but I was not going to get into a full blown match with someone inside of a hotel room. I was trying to get out of there with the least drama and less chance of being attacked as possible. He was on top of me when I became uncomfortable ..not a good position to be in.. not literally
Thank you for your advice…It means a lot to me and was nicely said. I agree. I just thought I had done hours and hours of talking with him about these topics it was just that he figured he could try to convince me to experiment once we were in person with things I had already said I was not willing to do. So honesty is a major factor too.
Gemi! Good to see you back!
SincerelySugar – Carebear is attempting to organize a meet in Charlotte. Try emailing her if you have her address. I believe she has a blog page. I am going to attempt to attend it also.
Oh boy its been a while. Good to see some familiar faces on here still!
Halloween is a good time to get back in the sugar bowl right? Masked lady of mystery and all that. 😉
Wish I was doing something awesome for Halloween, but I'm sick so I'm staying in. Plus the caliber of gentleman I'm looking for doesn't exactly hang out at a college dive-bar, lol.
Lily – well said.
Re StoodUpSD – oooohhh, cruel !!!!!
Bibaby- I see your point, and I know sex is part of the equation (and I most certainly don't hold out on anyone I am in an arrangement with), however this is not sex for money. That is called prostitution, and is a totally different game.
For the record, I hate digital cameras. I was getting ready for tonight, and mine just died!!! I could cry, but I'd really just rather throw this damn thing out the window. grrrrrr
BiBaby-Your quest for good manners is a good cause.
You're right…just because an SD can walk away doesn't mean he should. Manners *are* important.. it is a measure of who you are. There are SD's who have a sense of honor and chivalry… and the same issues confront SD's too… as Midwest has said often: relentless screening….
DCCSSB-From an SDs point of view, a couple of thoughts: The ladies here are correct… A real SD will not play games with allowance. A real SD will be a gentleman and not pressure you for things you find uncomfortable. If you feel intimidated, there's big problems.
Successful arrangements require good communication..about all things, including safety and sex..specifically about the parts less frequently engaged in…
The preliminaries can't be glossed over or rushed through…
But you also can't continue to kid yourself about this guy. This is dangerous stuff… he needs to go. There are hard lessons here. Thank god it wasn't worse.
DO NOT allow yourself to be baited by the money he owes you. You may or may not get it… but do not allow yourself to be compromised further.
AWWWW StoodUpSD….errr, I mean, NY Gent – You sound like you've got my luck. I've almost gotten to the point where I kind of have a bet with myself to see whether or not the guy is going to stand me up or reschedule at the last minute. Every time I'm right and he doesn't show, I get to buy myself a treat. That way it's a win-win.
Whoever's organizing a girls' night in Nashville, let me know!
DCCaramel – Not to sound pessimistic, but he doesn't sound all that great (I'm not talking about money either.) I HATE that you felt so scared and uncomfortable. Hopefully, you'll keep that feeling in mind and next time voice your concerns. Just because he might be an SD doesn't mean you have to give up your power (yes, power.) I don't care if the man buys you an island. If he makes you feel like a week-old wash rag, you have to ask yourself if it's worth it. You can have an arrangement with a great guy and not have to feel like you're sacrificing yourself. Believe me and all the other babies!!
BiBaby – I see your point, but I'd much rather live today than in '55. Chicks get to have so much more fun now than they did then
HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Sugars!! Enjoy and be safe!
Well it is time for me to get ready for the big party with my new sugar..Happy Halloween everyone..hope we all find sugar instead of tricks over the holiday..Be sweet.
I have to just disagree on the sex/sugar issue….it's been my experience, and definitely communicated by each and EVERY SD I've ever emailed or gotten to meet, that intimacy is expected as part of an arrangement. Sure you want an SD to help you out because he wants to (and most will) but truthfully, you must get your allowance up front before exchanging intimacy or it's likely you never will.
There are just too many guys willing to roll the dice to get a freebie if they sense desperation or need on the part of a woman. I hope DCCaramel got her 4-digit deposit FIRST before this meet..if she did, they're even and she needs to walk away NOW since he's a creep. If she didn't, that's an expensive lesson to learn. I had a near miss like hers at a hotel room lured by an alleged iPad birthday gift and nope, never again will I do anything without feeling full trust and getting things up front beforehand.
Some of the ladies on this board (no names mentioned) are having more success because they're willing to do things the rest of us are not. Everyone has their safety level but obviously if you LOVE having sex, and lots of it, you're going to be more successful than the ladies who take it slower or are more traditional, myself included. I obviously will never do something with an SD I wouldn't do with my own husband, duh.
I'm getting tired of gentlemen who tell you everything is great and then never return another email or call, no warning, no reason, nothing.
Is it that hard to be polite and say thanks but no thanks?? I would never, ever dream of doing that to someone. If this were eHarmony and not SA I'd have sent nasty emails to about half the men I've spoken with by email for being rude and not having the common decency to say "I'm just not interested now because of _____insert X reason here____" and I'd be 100% cool with that. Not everyone loves blonds or wants to go windsurfing or whatever. But everyone can practice good manners.
I should have grown up in 1955….*sigh*
@LILY: no problem, I actually appreciate bluntness at times especially when it is packed with truth.
Not Charlotte, NYC. Another group are talking about meeting up down south.
Thanks Sunny Funny. I always forget to sugarcoat my posts; I am so blunt. But I mean well.
P.S. DCCaramel- I think we need to call out this man right now so no one else tries to meet him. Rapists arent Sugar Daddies.
Sunny and Texas – I wish the best to you and your families with your fathers. I moved home recently to care for my dad who had a stroke too.
@lily…are you organizing a sugarmeet in charlotte? im only an hour away! would love to meet fellow sugars!!
@ Lily… 😉 you may be on a soapbox but so very well stated!! It is so important as SB's that we never compromise our safety in any manner if we are not comfortable with something. I do not know the whole story obviously but am a true believer that one should get the sugar settled first and also live up to their agreement. This is why screening is so important and not simply settling for the first SD/SB that comes along just simply for the moolah! So happy you spoke up Lily.
DCCaramel – please stop saying everything you are. He is a total jerk, and made you uncomfortable. Not ALL SDs are like that. You deserve the best, don't settle for someone you aren't comfortable with…or worse scares you. In the sugar world sex does NOT equal money. Meaning he doesnt pay you for sex, he gives you money because you are important to him and you have sex with him (IF you want to) because the feeling is mutual. I hope you keep looking for someone better.
xoxo doll.
DCCaramelSweetSB: Wow, this is why it is so important to deal with money issues first and get that out of the way. Many people have fetishes both SD's and SB's which is why during the screening process it is important to learn exactly what they expect and if it fits in with what you are willing to do. You can send him an email and let him know you are wondering when he plans to give you the rest of your allowance.. and even state that if you can not feel you can count on him in regards to the money you can not see him any longer but always make sure you have your allowance first! Not all SD's are like that.
TexaSugah : Welcome back, glad to hear the improvements in your father, I recently had to make a trip to my own dad who had a stroke and know how exhausting it all can be. Sounds like that guy is a gem to be so supportive.
Raise your hand if you never want to read another story about a girl getting cornered & pressured in a hotel room with an SD she doesn't know well & trust.
ME!!!!! *waves hand in the air frantically*
ladies, if you don't want to be treated like a disposable toy, stand up for yourself and be firm about what you want.
As Ms. Taken says, "put your big girl panties on" & another wise SB recently said "If you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything."
if what you feel comfortable with is a condom-clad, mainstream-sex-filled (no fetish acts) arrangement w/ a certain set monthly allowance provided up front each month, then say it to your pot's face like you mean it.
If you want to let the guy steer the ship and ride passively on his coat tails & hope for the best, then this won't be the last time your wimpiness gets you in a hotel room with a guy pressuring you -hard- to ,"C'mon baby, let's ___x,y,z____ and I promise I'll ___a,b,c____later…." and making you feel sleazy or SCARED. And not the last time you are wondering the next day if you got scammed & lied to & if you'll ever hear from the guy again.
And you were picking out what car he would buy you, just a week or two ago & wondered why I wasn't jumping in the discussion of which Lexus make represents YOU. Now you're just happy he didn't hurt @ bareback rape you.
I honestly am just being so harsh because I hope it's the very last time this ever happens to you & the less ballsy/tough ladies who are lurking/reading this.
Midwest would have gotten the point across without being so offensive, and much better. Sorry you just have me on my soapbox right now!!
Hugs to you. Really. ((((DCCSSB))))
DCCSSB – I agree with everyone else…NEXT! He sounds like a wiener not a winner…
DCCaramelSweetSB – Let it go sweetie and chalk it up to experience. Don't let yourself get into that situation. I recently had a date and it was wonderful. I still like him a lot. However, he was very pushy to come to my apt after meeting in the city after the first time. I only let him walk me to my car and have a good night kiss.
You have to be smart and if it doesn't feel right then it isn't right! Trust your gut instinct.
DCCSSB – he sounds like an asshole. I don't want him.
Why are you worried about getting sugared up? Didn't he sugar you several times already, and is this the same guy you wrote a poem about after an amazing good night kiss who then rushed to deposit an extra 4-digit sum to your account before trying to be intimate at all?
Your saga with this guy has sounded really fishy from the beginning (& for various reasons, every step of the way), or at least like something I've never heard of before, but I hoped i was wrong.
NEXT this guy. Right now.
From what you described, I foresee absolutely nothing good coming out of this.
This is my opinion. My opinions are a fit me and my lifestyle; your may vary.
Greetings all! I hate winks too and really wish that SA didn't add these to the site. I love KISS – Keep It Simple Stupid!
NYGENT – talk to her on the "other" site and see what comes of it. Perhaps, she was new to the whole thing and did like you but knew that she couldn't possibly meet you since the pics were not really her. If the profile is the same, I think she is experimenting with pics, profiles, etc to see what sort of responses she might get.
I am going to an amazing Halloween Party tonight with a really fun costume as I love costumes and Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year. I
XOXO, Boston Honey
@NYGent: 😉 Oh my.. I actually like Sunny Bunny maybe I need to change my alias..lol.. and excuse me for my blunder but as I think highly of NC Gent you are in good company at least. As for being picky.. that is actually a good thing to not settle.. it just makes the sugar all the sweeter 🙂
Lily- Yaz was mentioning my boobies and since I havent heard from anyone in Ohio lately I guess he isnt lurking. lol.
Okay..So last night I went on another date with SD….
He said he just wanted to "meet up for a few"
I was worried about this because i didn't get the money up front for meeting
He assured me to trust him and let things flow. He said it feels too business wtf? Okay is this not an arrangement?
His phone was turned off and I couldn't call him prior to the date. So I was wondering if he was standing me up. Then sent me a text 30 minutes before he was supposed to arrive saying he was on his way. Which made me upset because I didn't get ready because I was not sure if he was coming. But anyway. I tried not to be so upset. Fast forward. We went to a place that had a cluster of restaurants, We went to five different ones and each one he said was not up for his liking. So we went back to the car and went somewhere else to a restaurant inside of a hotel. We had cocktails and dinner. Everything was going pretty well. He asked for a sugar exchange. I said okay. We went and got a room and he made a big deal about not wanting to put on a condom. Then he said that I would want for him to have it off and eventually we will get to the point where i will insist on us not having it and we wont be using it. I was pretty upset about this but held it in because he is married and I didnt see this as being an issue especially since I had already brought it up previously. Then we continue to do the do with condom..and he towards the end requested I do something sexually that I have never done and will never do that involved something fetish like with his secretions…I was very disturbed but I kept it inside of my mind. I told him no. And made up something lame like I cant give him everything on the first time..because I was scared that he would attack me or something. He replied "It dont work that way" This went back and forth (we were still doing the do). I started to become petrified. He finished and told me to stay right there and he went to the bathroom. I rushed and put all of my clothes on. and when he came back out..he was doing something with his body and he was like damn you put your clothes on. and then i rushed into the bathroom. And cleaned up
When I came out….He was fully dressed. We left and i got him to drop me off somewhere in my neighborhood and I walked home…At the end of the night he told me that it was a terrific date and he looks forward to seeing me again.
I dont usually hear from him on the weekends and Im wondering when I am going to get my sugar. If I dont then it will be a loss for me but if I do I dont plan on continuing this relationship. I was scared out of my mind and never want to feel that way again.
I dont think the sugar world is meant for me and I think that he would be a good SD for someone who is more open to different things. So maybe I can refer one of you guys over to him.
Any advice on how to ensure that I get the rest of the money?
I do know that its a potential loss…I would just hope not.
Howdy all…
Looks like there's a little bit going on around here and some new faces.
Nothing really sugary going on here. Good stuff tho'. If you remember my father was very ill. Well, he got a heart transplant and is at home!!!
I'm about to have my oral exams next Tuesday so that's something else off my plate AND the guy that I met here a LONG time ago has been very supportive for the past few months. We are just now getting to meet next weekend. He knows everything that has happened and has been awesome.
I hope everyone else is having it a little smoother than me and has a great weekend!
Sunny: I meant Funny not Bunny (like you meant NY not NC!)
Lily/SunnyBunny: it's actually not hard for SDs to find willing SBs: 5 out of my last 6 SB dates wanted to start an arrangement after first date. But for various reasons I declined each; maybe i'm too picky but there were issues with each that dissuaded me.
Maybe SD NE Ohio and NE Ohio SB got together, neither has been heard from in ages …
Whatever happened to cute/nerdy SD NE Ohio?
Boobies! Wait, Yaz already posted boobies twice & he didn't show. Must not be lurking!
The Gents just gotta get more distinguishable monikers. They are constantly being confused! Why doesn't NCGent keep his but NYGent become BigAppleSD or ManhattanGent or Stood Up SD or Charlie Brown (I mean, really, "*why's* every SB pickin' on him???")
December I won't be in the US unless something comes up…. Most likely January or very beginning of February will be my next appearance in NYC & possible sugar sister soirée sequel (SSSS!).
@ Lily: I am not sure now that I have new SD he has wasted no time and this afternoon I got link to print out my boarding passes etc. for next weekend .. but he mentioned NYC in December so I will have to see.
@NC Gent: I guess we often take it for granted as an SB that the finer gentlemen on this site have it relatively easy in their search.. sorry you went through that aggravation but it is nice to know that difficulty exist on both sides when weeding through the fakes. Good Luck NC Gent hope the next contact works out better 😉
Haven't even manage to get halfway through everything that's happened this weekend. Spend one day trapped at work and one evening out with friends and I miss all the fun on here 😉
I could do something like Nashville or Bowling Green … Charlotte's about 5 hours for me because to cross the Appalachians there is NO straight path through to NC…very annoying.
OK, now to keep reading on through to all the good stuff you girls are up to.
Almost through my first week of the 30 day challenge and I definitely feel better about myself mentally, if nothing else 😉
NYGent – bummer! What crap luck you repeatedly get. I always assume that gentlemen of means have the kind of luck akin to shooting fish in a barrell here on this site, or in the sugarbowl in any venue, and your posts always fly in the face of that!
How long have you been trying to get into am arrangement, this time around?
The November Sugar Sister soirée meet is in a couple of weeks, when I hit the big apple. Will you be around, Sunny Funny?
Beautiful fall day in NYC (Marathon weekend) so gotta get outdoors now . . .
(Another) weird experience: struck up an email convo with a pot from SA, we seemed to have much in common. Asked her to brunch Sunday, she said she couldn't but she proposed dinner Monday. I said ok and later emailed the details. No response. Emailed again to see if she was still interested or not, no response. Finally emailed to say not having heard back I canceled and made other plans. She'd blocked me!
Then I saw her show up on the other main SD site — same person, same nickname, same age, height, etc — only it was somebody different (different pics!). Since her SA pics were of someone 5-10 years younger (and with model looks) I assume the SA pics are the fake ones.
Ironically, I liked her pics from the other site better — classier and more mature. Then again maybe they're fake too . . .
Guess I dodged a bullet, anyway.
Sara – a book sounds great except… i would need to go the anonymous route… feel free to contact me through my blog… i would love to meet up if you are ever in nyc
TLG – Wink = i like the profile… but not enough to write an actual message
@Carebear when in November? I may be able to head that way as I have to go to Mebane after Thanksgiving.
@TLG Well spoken.. I have learned to really look for clues in the profiles and often pass up a few that sound too good to be true. I just posted in my blog about a meet I had sometime back with Mr. Bobble-head and why it ended at first meet and I strongly agree with you that how a Pot handles themselves at the meets is very important..but also caution that sometimes first impressions can also be very deceptive.
As for the Wink.. I use it on occasion especially when it is someone who has not logged on for quite a while to see if I get a response as I take time to compose thoughtful messages when I do initial contacts and why waste time doing that if the person may never see it if they have left the site.
@ Lily… you are so delightful.. and tyvm for the congrats… it took quite a while but I am happy with the wait now that I found that quality but unfortunately he can only afford so much right now so I will have to find a second arrangement and he is fine with that as we talked about it so for now at least some of the financial pressure is off of me and I can focus on finishing school.
Breakfast on the terrace watching the sunrise over the marshes and now I'm waiting on my horse-drawn carriage for a ride around the island before lunch on the boat.
That's what I'm doing today!
So everyone chime in if you're interested in a charlotte meet, get my email and write me and ill throw something together!!
Excited for the nov meet!
Our club is so special.
Sunny Funny SB says:
@TLG:..now that you are back in the hunt what is it about an SB that entices you to ask for a second meet or an arrangement?
Lily says:
Yeah, TLG, answer your own question!!
Well, believe it or not, I pay special attention to what is written in the profile before I send any message. I'm not going to lie and say I don't look at the pictures, but what she puts in the profile and how she expresses it will be the first thing that drives my initial-meet decision.
What gets me going for a second meet? How she handles herself at the first one–and does the person I met match up to the person as written in the profile.
BTW–does anyone else find the 'wink' feature to be incredibly lazy and lame? I HATE getting them.
Congrats SF SB!
Yeah, TLG, answer your own question!!
Where is Ms. Taken??
-being absolutely comfortable with the mutually beneficial side of the relationship, and, even more, enjoying being a generous sugar and helping another special someone. Basically, all real SDs and none of the 'volume-discount-seeking' Johns just thinking only with their libidos.
Then, I can relax and get that element off my mind and focus on the rest of the guy, discovering all sorts of positive qualities (more & more as time goes by) that I enjoy about him & feel drawn to him/attracted to him for.
I can't enjoy a sugar relationship in a natural, genuine way until the sugar side is dealt with and tucked out of the way & a non-issue. When there is a suspicious attitude on one or both sides, neither comfortable with being the first one to move forward & get the ball rolling with their roles in an arrangement, it has never worked out. When one gladly jumps in the deep end, taking a chance, but comfortable with the level of risk they're taking, it has always been a joyful & virtuous cycle, & more importantly, a genuine friendship that never feels like a tit-for-tat, transactional pro/John exchange. When both are so preoccupied with their own interests & their own suspicions, it reaches a deadlock on Day1 and withers & dies.
Or so is my experience…
@TLG: Good Question! It use to be a picture that first attracts me to a Pot.. but pictures can not speak words especially when they are 20 years old or more..lol.. in meeting I have found I am attracted to whats on the inside looking for intelligence, maturity, honesty and a humorous personality. What keeps me interested is someone who is genuine, who enjoys trying new things and not stuck in the missionary position lol.. now that you are back in the hunt what is it about an SB that entices you to ask for a second meet or an arrangement?
Good Morning Sugar World.
Second Meet was great and we discussed an arrangement which he brought the subject up..even better. This Pot discussed expectations, duration and how many get-together s a month he is seeking. At the end of the evening I had a temporary arrangement with the first month in advance in cash! So for those of you who have been struggling like me with meeting so many fakes, the advice of fellow blogger's like Guru, NYSB, NC Gent, Lily, Midwest SB and too many more to mention who helped me change my screening process to get the weeds out there is definite hope. My new SD has turned out to be the genuine article in so many ways and it is so nice to know my search has paid off.
@TLG Tonight I am going to a Halloween Bash with my new SD…delicious..not tricks but have a few treats in store for him..;) What is your weekend looking like? Hope it is sugary.
@ Lily Hope you all have a wonderful time..you must dish details in the blog on the fun.. 😉
@ all Happy Halloween Weekend
WALDT—We All Like Different Things—is an acronym I've used many times in life when trying to fathom the variety of attractions in arrangements.
What is it about certain SBs and SDs that intially attracts you?
What is it that keeps/kept you attracted?
Good Morning, Sugar Blog!
It's Sassy Sweet Saturday, and the Sugar events should be in full swing for you!
What's on the agenda–is there one potential Sugar you're meeting today, or several spread out through the day?
AM – hope you can make it to my SSS! We need a #7!…. almost all of us are quite long-time bloggers, and it's going to be so fun! I plan on singing Material Girl at an open mic night/live band karaoke session & dedicating it to the gorgeous Material Girls I'm partying with!!
One of the best dinners ever! I love having friends who can cook 🙂
That should say "I'm hoping to find something fun to do"….stupid BB 😀
Good evening everyone! I have no sugar plans for Halloween, but, I hoping I can still find something fun to do!
Yaz – I will email you as soon as I can 🙂
Lily – I might be able to make it to the party! I hope I can, it would be great to see everyone!
Hi NC! Good to see you as well! 🙂
The Sam we all think of IS NOT BALD.
@ midwestsb-to make sure were discussing same person..sam…hes bald?
Aww have fun NYC – still jealous of your hot yoga body.
Wow you guys are so super kind to me … Had a rough day at work … Going to yoga later to calm down … Will properly address all later
Tonight's plans? Spending time with a non sugar man who may just unjade me … It is amazing how refreshing it is to spend time with someone who is genuine, fun and isn't afraid to show his affections for me 🙂
Bela – I live in Ft. Lauderdale, if you are interested we should definantly get together somewhere in between while you are in town.
Dbaby – I get the pic dilema. I am 4 ft 8, so I either look like I am 12 or I look really slutty….its hard to find sexy pics without being slutty….so I gave in. I am mature enough to stand my ground and at some point you just need to accept your profile and the right men will be interested in it. You shouldn't be so stressed about the "right" thing to say or put on your profile. At the end of the day as long as it is true to you, you are good to go babydoll!
@Sara hey thanks so much for your input! I think you're super pretty too. It's hard to to write up a profile and be "direct" without seeming "jaded". ANd its even harder to pick out pictures that are good as opposed to too revealing or I'm not looking pretty enough. But hopefully it will all work out soon ? haha hope your halloween is swell.
@Lily like I said with Sara it can be so hard sometimes to pick and choose whats right to put on your profile. D: I find that over the years I have taken very few body shots and more profile and headshots. And its hard because I also don't want to have to come off abrasive when in reality I am a very sweet and open person, or so I hear >_>. I just want to find a good fit with an SD >< But thanks for your input I'll try to edit my prof a bit.
NC Gent – Sounds great!
Sara – I'm not from Tampa, but my job is sending me there for a couple of weeks. My dad lives in Valrico, so I'll be able to see him while I'm there (bonus!)
Carebear – What a road warrior! I'd go nuts!
SFSB – What an interesting observation! My ex told me the same thing when we started dating and we were together for five years. In the end, he was right. I was more polished than any of his ex-girlfriends, but we still had a great time. Maybe he thought he might have to work harder at impressing you. He just hasn't seen the cool side of you yet (just the sexy, girlie side.) Just don't over analyze. We (females) tend to be very good at that, but we forget that men aren't typically that complicated.
SouthernGent2 – Haven't you heard? The sugars of North America are assembling for a full force invasion. Join us!!
What's all this about Paris, TN and Murray, Ky? And some kind of meeting in CLT?
Carebear — I could probably do a CLT meet. How long will you be in CLT? Email me the details if you would like 🙂
Happy Friday fellow bloggers.. Well second meet is scheduled for tonight and I am so excited! This guy appears to be genuine and has checked out totally but last night on phone he hinted he I am more the girl you take home to mother then the hard core SB… what does that mean??? So I told him if he wanted to cancel he should do so now.. and he told me he is not canceling but feels like he needs to take me to only the best places and treat me with the respect he feels I deserve. He also admitted his former experience was with a more trashy type of dresser who was completely unpolished.
I am going on second meet with an open mind and still excited about it but going to ask some exploring questions to understand what he is really looking for before I continue any further and invest more time in to this. I am just so tired of saying Next and the attraction is mutual so I await tonight with baited breath.
Dandelion- I think I left my retainer and jaw strap at your place. I love that my blog friends are a bunch of nerds.
NCGent and BiBaby-so should I organize a clt meet? I don't think ill be able to come down again till near christmas….is that or jan too late in the game??
Who else might be interested in a CLT meet?
Hour 14 in the car and I'm numb from the waist down.
yaz – hey doll. Glad you like my boobies, I am pretty darn fond of them myself.
lily – did you see my profile updates? I made most of the naughty pics private, but I HAD to keep one….I don't have a great yoga body like NYC SB, so I had to show SOME of my assets. lol. Or do you think I need to make more updates?
Bela- where are you from again? I am right near Tampa. I would love to meet up with all the lovely sugar ladies.
Ok my boobies didn't come out right…
( . ) ( . ) That's more like it.. 😛
Morning all TGIF!!!
Sara and Dbaby~ You girls are gorgeous! Sara….Holy boobies! ( . ) ( . ) 😛
I want to start a 30 day Challenge too but the devil ( AKA all things sugar) has a strong hold on me right now lol! NYCSB I need some motivation!!!! * Off to go look at your post yoga pic* 🙂
Good morning all — Easter Bunny role play involves FAUX Grass 🙂 I am sure I can coach up some naive and willing SB 😉
Bela — I will be in Tampa from Tuesday to Thursday morning… I am staying near the airport. sdjohn40 at the g male place if you might want to meet up… is Midwest down there also? Very busy during the days, but might be able to meet up for a drink, coffee or dessert on Tuesday or Wednesday evening.
BiBaby — that would be great if you could make a CLT meet!
Wanted to add that yes, I agree that Dbaby is lovely, just felt that the Candida weren't as "wow" as her main pic.
Sara, I think yu'll get less pervy johns w/ your profile updates.
NYC SB- I just spent the last few days reading your blog (literally from start to finish) I absolutely love it! You should definantly write a book, my family knows some people in pulishing, I am dead serious! I found myself wanting to know what happens next with certain men, etc.
Your blog also made me feel much more at ease with everything. Although it also made me feel about 20 lbs overweight. lol. I will definantly be starting my own 30 day challenge ASAP. f
I just took a bunch of job interviews in NY, and if I move there, I would love to know someone.
DBaby – you are absolutely gorgeous! In fact, I am slightly jealous ;). I don't think you are doing anything wrong, it is just a matter of time before you find the right daddy for you.
p.s. I loved the part about not wanting someone who hides behind their computer screen, perhaps you are just weeding out the wannabes we all have to deal with?
Happy Friday Sugars!
I like the first pic, Dbaby, but the others are just "fine." the profile is *slightly* jaded & arrogant sounding…. maybe put more about the stuff you're passionate about and love to do, and the activities you dream of doing, and the exciting things you have to offer & wanna do with your future SD. A bit more positive & hopeful tone may help….. Dunno.
But good luck!!
Happy Friday!!!
What are your plans for this Halloween? Any sugar?
Currently have zero plans =[ Hopefully I figure something out so I can wear my costume!!
What are your all-time favorite horror flicks?
I kinda have a love hate relationship with horror flicks but my faves are probably "The Shining" and "Silence of the Lambs"
How's your sugarlife been lately?
To be honest though I have had a profile for a while I have yet to find an SD. I don't know if its because my profile is lacking or my pictures are unappealing. I recently tried to take the approach of sending out emails to SDs i find interesting and promising based on his profile. Maybe someone can give me a little guidance in how to better my chances of finding the SD of my dreams!!
It wanst a complete loss though….I learned a lot about wine which was the whole reason (besides meeting him) we decided to go to wine country.
UGGGHHH… I dont even want to think about halloween this year. Just moved to Salt Lake City for a job and I only know one person (schoolmate that informed me of the job I loved for). She doesnt even do anything so I pretty much am stuck here alone lol…Im not even planning on doing anything. Probably just going to sit inside or go to the gym…
As for as bad experiences. I met a SD on here who actually flew me out to see him at his place in SF after we chatted for a while. The time was amazing, we went to wine country and he baught me some clothes. I felt weird having him buy me lots of stuff since it was my first experience so I didn't milk him. He acted really interested and told me all sorts of stuff that made me feel amazing. Like I think your lucks gonna change, I want to help you, stuff like that. The last day before my plane was due back we had sex. Then when I returned home It was all me initiating the phone calls and txts, then nothing. I felt so used and lied to after that…Hopefully I'll meet a good SD.
Anyone got fab weekend plans? Low-key one planned for myself…
midwest – I am a high school debate coach, I am away at a torunament with my kids all weekend anyways, what is your email? I would love to chat.
Ha, no. foie gras (fwa gra or foi grass in a charming southern accent) vs. faux grass (fo gra-ss). (I swear I don't have pocket protectors)
Sara – Nice profile, but I would be specific about what you do want to further weed out the wannabes…Something like, I'm looking for a gentleman who understands the nature of arrangements, believes in opening doors, and is willing to receive the attention of a lovely young lady. Never say anything negative about yourself and possibly shorten it a bit. Guys will read the profile for a few minutes tops. You take great pics! I will be close to you this weekend, but my calendar is full. I definitely want to meet at some point!
RE: Sam – He's a catch if it's who I think it is!
Ebony- Happy Birthday!
Redhead – Congrats!
DC Caramel – Congrats!
Bela – come to the other coast and meet Sara!
A-Doc – Glad you are able to study (((Hugs)))
Yaz – Back to ya! <3
Guru – where are you?????
The foie gras I've had was always pretty tasty, but sometimes a bit rich.
I'm telling you, I've always hated running for that exact reason. I have actual fantasies of having a smaller chest and can't wait for the day when I can get a reduction.
I've never been shopping in Murray. I usually just go to Nashville. I've been to Paris (dated a guy there) but it's been a while.
my family eats it as Christmas and Easter food….don't know why.
BiBaby- your right. (takes the whoopin) we should all try to be someones sunshine.
Bela- When you said that you hate running because of your ample chest, i got a flash back to my friends DoubleDees smacking her in the face in gym class! Hhahahaaaa! My home town actually in Paris Tennessee. Its REALLY close to Murray Kentucky. Maybe we could do some shopping there some day? 🙂
oh and foie gras is traditionally DUCK liver. Its has a delicate nutty taste, due to the "fattening", or force feeding, of the duck;not like usual duck liver. Its pretty good spread over some crackers or a small bit of bread.
Good to know. Learn something new everyday 🙂
I've been really busy in my "sugar" world. Y'all won't believe my reality, so I'm only going to reveal the bits and pieces as I go (later).
I just wanted to say – HEY Y'ALL! Hope you're getting the sugar you seek!
Isn't foie gras a type of pureed liver spread from a goose?
I guess that makes it an Easter food…
A-Sod: Lots of hugs coming your way from the US. I wish there were some way I could help out! Definitely thinking of you and glad to see you peek in on the blog.
Dandelion – ??? Is foie gras an Easter thing?? What ever happened to lamb?
@Redhead – YAY! Congrats to you
I actually did just now have to laugh out loud, because those were the two things that I would do. I've always hated lifting (boring), running (too painful due to ample chest), stupid aerobics classes (I feel like a damn cheerleader), but spinning and yoga were like therapy for me. I slept better, was less stressed, and it boosted my stamina. Plus, they gave me a killer tushie! As for the inner beauty thing, you're right. However, my inner beauty is awesome, and I'd like the outside to better reflect that. Humility rocks!
I sometimes make a weekend getaway to Memphis to get away from the country (I'm in Western KY.) I usually go to Nashville twice a month, but sometimes I don't mind the extra road time. I'll have to send you a shout the next time I'm there for cocktail hour.
@BiBaby – I'm glad your lunch went well. I love that it felt more comfortable for you.
@A-doc – Good luck with your exams. You kick ass
Bela, faux-grass –> foie gras!
Im okay 🙂 thanks. just head down in books. trying to to think of anythign male/sugar or anything else realated. Ill nurse my wounds later 😛
I would totally be *in* for a CLT get together!! That's a 4hr drive for me and completely doable. I go down there at least once every other month.
Today's pot SD lunch date was absolutely and utterly terrific!! already I can tell the difference between this gentleman and the last, I never felt weird or awkward and when the talk about meeting on SA came up, it was natural in the context of what we're each looking for. No arrangement yet, we've agreed to meet for dinner next time and if all goes as well as it did today then work out if things go to the next level.
Though much slower than the path the last 2 pots took me down, I think this is the way this is SUPPOSED to happen, it's like normal dating and quite wonderful. I actually can see things progressing naturally with this gentleman and the age gap is a lot less too–it's the perfect 20 or so years, enough to be charming and fatherly but not so much I feel creepy either.
He was the 1st one to offer to drive half the distance to meet which was a huge weight off my normal 2hr drive to meet potentials and called me on the way back (I think he missed me a little!) as well. 🙂 Oddly enough, this was a gentleman who I actually contacted HIM first rather than the other way round, and for some reason, it worked out better! Weird….
I hope things progress into an arrangement, we had a great time together and I actually look forward to seeing him very soon again–something I'm feeling for the first time. Keeping my fingers crossed he feels the same way!
I love my husband very, very much, more than anyone in the world and would never replace him, but I don't see a conflict with that and my sugar life (I met him while in an arrangement actually). We can love different people in our lives in different ways–whether they are our children, friends, family or companions. I would never date anyone with the misleading intention of having them fall in love with me or tearing them from their family (pot SD is divorced, so no worries there)….but I see no reason why I can't be that ray of sunshine in their life for the time we spend together either. Ultimately that's what we're all doing, some of us just happen to be married and others aren't.
@WCSD- HAHAHAAAHA! Your right. and that pot SD rescheduled on me AGAIN! So i think your right NYC SB, he was not serious.
So then i suppose that i am…taken? (GASPS!) well…i would like to thank every single one of you for the support and encouragement! I will keep writing and telling you about the Sugar Life here in Memphis!
its inner beauty that counts at the end of the day. 😉 But have you tried Yoga, or spinning? They are low impact and good after surgery. I had to have surgery in June; pretty evasive. I couldn't do a lot of physical activity like running or the sort. So i did yoga. It was nice because anything i couldn't do (because of stitches) i could go into meditative pose and relax. It makes you incredibly strong to! Those stuck jars are a thing of the past, no more running to my neighbor to open them! lol
lol EasterBunny role play. You be the Tooth Fary, I will be the Bunny.
"On your knees little Bunny! Let me see thos molas!"
@redhead , his name is adam and lives in Newport(orange county)
Hella-busy day! Almost ready for Tampa I can taste the Cuban food now!
@NCGent – Easter Bunny roleplaying??? Hmmmm will there be faux-grass and plastic eggs?
@Redhead – The bidding war is an option, but I'm too lazy for that drama and would just tell Raincheck SD thanks but no thanks. Welcome the fabulous opportunity and have a great time!!
@Arcadia – I completely agree! I can't wait to have more chances to get back into the gym. I used to go everyday and ever since I had to stop, I've seen the difference not only in my wardrobe but my whole frame of mind too.
@WCSD – VERY VERY good point!
Wcsd – lol bluntly put! But gets the point across …
Redhead – mum is the word if you still want to meet the pot who reschedules go for it but keep in mind a man who does this often may not be serious about having an sb …
RedHead88 – If you try the bidding war, I wish you good luck. I know that I wouldn't be part of it all, and if a SB tried that on me, I'd sayNEXT very quickly. Could you imagine a pot SD saying to you 'Well, the girl I met this morning is willing to give oral, swallow, anal all bareback for $500 less a month, what are you willing to do?'. Most SBs would be running for the hills….
SanDiego- …who was this guy? It sounds like we have delt with the same crazy dude! And He did the same to me.
Sara- Kick that trash to the kerb! DON'T GIVE IN! Just wait and things will come to you. 🙂
And are there any SBs in Memphis? I would LOVE to hang with someone with lifestyles in common.
ok so my pot SD rescheduled…again…for tonight. But an interesting occurrence! I received an email from a pot SD that i had winked at a month ago. We met this morning for coffee and hit it off! He offered me a great job at His Firm that pays great AND an allowance that exceeds what i wanted!
So the question is- Should i tell my pot SD tonight about the offer, and have like a bidding war? Or just see what he wants to give me and see which one is better.
Lilly- If someone wants to do that, more power to them. Its none of my business and i don't judge. Myself, i couldn't love anyone but my husband ( if i where married). But then again im old fashioned.
Arcadia- You go girl! nothing feels better than feeling more beautiful and confident does it? 🙂
Arcadia – that's so good to hear! While I am no expert if your goal is to tone rather than lose weight you are better off doing alteration between cardio and weights … Just a thought
Is this thing on?? *taps microphone, ugly feedback squeals*
Where is everyone?
No one else riled up about my condoning omission of marital status in their sugarlife? 🙂
Lily – The seventh sister? lol
AM- Ohmygod. I love them too! I used to eat them by the dozen.
AM~ email me at yaz1033 at the Y place when you get a chance!
Morning everyone 🙂
Good Morning Sugar Blog!
It's Thundering Thursday, and we all begin our slide towards the weeekend and the various plans are being firmed up.
Is this going to be an active weekend, filled with Sweetness?
AM – SSS? Will you be the seventh sister?
Gosh I get a kick out of alliteration!
Hey AM! Nice to see you again 🙂
Good morning Ladies and Gents! All this talk of Easter is making me crave Cadbury Eggs….love them!!!
Morning, sugars! Dusk has already set around here….
No worries ladies — Easter Bunny is my favorite role play 🙂 Isn't sugar about (re)creating fantasies?
I would definitely be interested in a CLT get-together 🙂
I just woke up to find out there's no Easter Bunny. q
Lily, I may have to take you up on your advice, but unfortunantly it is a double standard. The men put their net worth, but the women on here wouldn't dream of asking how much money they could get and gifts, etc in the first email……
Sara – if you want to get less of that kind of attention, take the risqué photos off your profile. Yes, I read your text, but you can show off your assets via more subtle 'little black dress' pics which prove you've got those curves without stripping down to bra & panties in your photos to display nearly the whole kit & kaboodle.
oh and by the way, there's no easter bunny either.
College sb-thats perfect! I'm a 70 y/o priest!
Oooooo yeah I said it.
Carebear – CLT = Charlotte? If so, I am so in!! Btw, would this be a good time to tell you that I'm actually a 12 yr boy in Turkey? 😀
Nice 😛
Je suis d'apprentissage. Mon petit ami est français.
Ebony~ Tu parles Francais?? Tu viens d'ou?
SanDiego sb- Here's my shoe…Hit him with it!!
Yaz merci beaucoup bebe!
I want in on the reunion! Inc TX please!
It's not looking likely for the Sugar Soiree for me, I got stiffed on my last $500 of my allowance this month remember? I was counting on that to finish out saving for the iPad for school and also to cover my flight to NYC & part of the hotel. I got cut without notice and am back in the sugarbowl full force in the middle of the semester with 6 weeks until exams.
Fortunately I have a date tomorrow for lunch with a fabulous pot SD who I'm clicking well with so I'm keeping my fingers crossed all will go well. So far he's been a perfect gentleman and he's soooo intelligent! 3 conversations without being asked anything uncomfortable or sexual, so far, so good. 🙂
have any of u dealt with a sd in ny (sam)?
DCCaramelSB~ Sounds like you found a great SD. He must have realized what a great catch you are so he does not mind spending more than what was agreed upon. Stop thinking so much and enjoy the ride! :)Remember to express your gratitude whenever you can. ( Does not have to be sexual if you do not feel ready)
Ebony~ Happy bday!
Lily~ That is extra nice of him. Will confirm my attendance by the end of next week
*Crossing fingers I get the day off*
Midwest keeps it real. 100% of the time. <3 it 🙂
Midwest – Thanks doll, glad I am not the crazy one. lol.
Sara – You send them packing is how you handle those situations. Get Google Voice so you can block/screen these guys. A true gentleman will not ask for those things until you are ready. Once nudes are on the internet, you cannot get them back. As for the sex talk, a little flirting is one thing, but if he wants phone sex, then recommend a 1-900 number for him to call. Have the discussion up front that you are looking to be treated like a lady and although an intimate relationship is the ultimate goal, you're particular about the gent you enter an arrangement with. If he gives you a hard time, wish him well on his search. Regardless of your financial situation, never let a man treat you disrespectfully.
I would love some advice, As a 23 year old just starting out in sugar land, I have made it my bussiness to be safe and make sure I am comfortable at all times, so why is it when I don't liek talking about sex immediately, or sending more pictures (i.e. nudes) I am called a bitch or told I am too high strung. Did I miss something? Am I being too critical? How do you best handle such situations?
Carebear – duck!
Arcadia-where r u?
I may organize one in CLT closer to the holidays or sometime this winter
As to the questions: Yes, I have been tricked but have chocked it up to lesson's learned and now learning to ask the right questions. Still no arrangement in my life but finally me an outstanding Pot who is exactly what he claimed to be. Funny, intelligent, mild mannered and a complete gentleman.
Had a wonderful first meet and have agreed to meet over the weekend for dinner. This is one of the men I had found in my search and made the first contact. The twist to this is he actually knows my former SD and told me on our meet as he recognized me from the pictures I had sent him and even talked to him before arranging a meet. Today I contacted my former SD to talk about a small world and he laughed and let me know this one is a true blue gentleman and extremely interested in me but suggested I have a talk with him about his kinks before I enter an agreement…lol.. at least my intuition is working again.
As this will be our second meet over the weekend I doubt I will be getting or giving any Halloween sugar, going to take my time even with the endorsement on what type of person he is. Hope everyone has a sugary night.
i HAD to share this with you all i had a old pot from last year just contact me through the phone.
(backround info on what happened: he was SUPER bi polar/hot and cold. one min he wanted to be a sd, the next he had a gf, then he didnt want an sb because he didnt want to 'pay for play', ive met him once, we ended with a texting war as if we were in high school, with him telling me to loose his number when he had just text me the day before to come see him, so that what i did since i was so fed up with him and his child antics, so i didnt even remember who he was when he texted me he had to give me like 3 clue since i put him so far out of my mind)
He basically wanted to start hooking up and i asked him why dont you have sex with your gf and he responded "im inbetween right now, so are you going to be mean or what" i told him goodluck with his gf and goodbye, he laughed it off and i let him know that hes the one that made it this way and heres what he said
"men pay for play to make you go away when we want,your on our time not yours"
i would looveeeeeee to know your thoughts on that quote sbs and sds lol.
Anyone from florida looking for a SB meetup, I would be down too, I love that I could be friends with other women living the same lifestyle as me.
NYC SB you inspired me to start my own 30 day challenge after seeing your results (though I'm sure you were pretty fit to begin with). No fast food/delivery pizza/chinese take out, minimum 30 minutes of cardio every day for thirty days… I discovered why I'm slim but not toned…I really do hate cardio. Oh well, deep down i know it's good for me.
I hope everyone is having a happy hump day and I'm jealous of your get together.
we should have a KY/OH/TN gathering at some point if any SBs are in the area, and interested? Southern girls have more fun 😉 though I suspect we'll have a hard time proving it with the mischief I expect to hear ALL ABOUT from the fabulous NYC sugar sisters.
NCGent – Thank you, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being a brat.
Carebear – I LOVED Chicago. The food was great, the shopping was way too much fun, and it was nice to get out of the country. I can't wait to go back although from the sounds of the crazy fun you guys have in NY, I might have to make another trip first!
Aspiring Doc!! I'm with Carebear! I hope you're lurking so you can know you're in our thoughts.
Carebear – incoming!
Excited to see you, gorgeous! 4 months is too long! Too bad you're in a moving nightmare or I'd give you that lapdance raincheck from Paris!
NYC SB – I believe your blog is missing a very bubbly photo.
Lily- I'm extra psyched for the SSS now. 🙂
It IS a slow day on the blog, NYC SB!
It's a blog SD (the promised booze finder for our Sugar Sister Soiree!) and if he says I can spill his identity, I'll tell you guys when we toast to him, live!
Bela – I agree with NCGent, your time is just as important as his.
Carebear – yes I will be in attendance
Hour 7 in the car and nyc mass transit is sounding extra glamorous right now. Dinner on the lake if the weather is nice…let's hope!
Bela, thanks for the good wishes. She actually marries on the 30th. Party will continue into sunday. Half the family is flying in from ireland. I think that explains enough. Did you enjoy chicago?
Ebony-happy birfsday!
DC-it shows that you're a caring person for analyzing the situation so closely. Perhaps that means you're a very sweet person and good things do happen to good people 😉
Lily-to whom do we owe our gratitude? Either way, thank you! Can't wait. Really!
NYCSB-please say you will grace us with your presence? 🙂
Michael-i"m clearly exercising my talents here on the blog. Duh. I do however need to update with something a little lighter, less cynical. Been putting off "the good ole days" kinda stories in hope it will bring more.
NCGent-hiiiii how was lunch? I'm crossing into your territory in 3 hours!
Is there an aspiring doctor in the house? I'm getting worried.
Bela — time to say NEXT! The person is inconsiderate and/or not that serious.
grrrr Okay people, if a person stands you up with no communication until a week later (admitting there was no car accident or family emergency) under what circumstances would you forgive and agree to try again? I guess I'm from this spoiled generation where, unless you were in a coma, there is no excuse to text or phone a heads up. Thoughts?
Hello Sugars! I've been lurking after a really good sugar weekend and reading everyone's exciting conversations.
As to the marriage/ommission/incorrect info etc. I think within reason some incorrect info is understandable. If an SD is married and lists his town as somewhere maybe 30 minutes away, I can understand…you don't want any locals finding you accidently or a suspicious wife catching you too easily. I'm living in a very small town and put a city 30 minutes away as my location, but explain in email.
I would prefer someone to be honest and up front abou the marriage thing so that you can prepare ahead of time for any potential baggage or unpleasantness that might come along and choose not to pursue things with the person in that case.
I am by no means an expert (or quite frankly, even that much more experienced with this than you), but I think the key is to give him something he can't get anywhere else. Maybe it is showing you care with an awesome back rub, being there to listen to the things the other people in his life won't, etc. He obviously saw something fabulous in you, and that fact that you are so concerned about his feelings and his generosity, just convinces me more that you are a great girl, who deserves everything you are being given. Just remember, nothing about sugar dating is the exchange of money for sex….you are far better than that, and honestly there are easier and cheaper ways to do that, if that is all a man wants. Once, you get out of that mindset, it will be easier to accept large gifts for what appears to be very little from you. You are giving more than you realize.
Carebear – just read your blog. Freakin' hysterical. Did he really send you 20 questions? omg.
You have a real talent with writing, seriously, you should do something with it.
Hey sugar blog fam!
I'm just checking in – haven't had time to read anything – so much sugar these days!
I hope the rest of my fam is as lucky! Take care…..
Slow day on the blog
you chicks are so fab!
Lily – awesome … I need to show you the damage wife and I did monday night :p can't wait to see all the lovely ladies again
SSS is now set to include 6 fabulous blog SBs and now has booze sponsorship so drinks are covered! Woohoo!
BiBaby – try to make it and be our lucky # 7!
Profiles on SA are for those seeking discrete arrangements that are not intended to meld one another's day to day life together in a 'traditional relationship' (ie marriage) sort of way.
Your private life is your private life and if you say up front that you intend to check reality at the door in an arrangement, an SD can walk away if that doesn't work for him and he wants to get his hands or at least his mind wrapped around her entire existence. Or he can choose, eyes wide open, to move forward with that specific gameplan in mind, and not ask probing questions about her everyday life and just….. enjoy the special, separate, we're-the-only-two-people-in-the-universe-right-now illusion!
I think NC Gent's heartbreak over learning his SB was married was because it wasn't handled in the way I just described at the outset and was a situation full of dishonesties rather than omissions and an open policy of "checking your regular life at the door."
Fave horror flicks, hmmmm…..The Exorcist, Dawn of the Dead, Amityville Horror, Evil Dead, and of course all the standards….Freddy, Jason, and Michael!
Hi everyone! 😀
I can understand the preference to omit or downplay some information. I'm just glad the profile doesn't as for body measurements from women. I can guarantee there would be quite a larger populations of liars.
Morning sugars! Super psyched about double yoga tonight … Gotta look hot for my trip to chitown next week 🙂
MichaelAZ — well IMHO, that means you lied; you can decide for yourself if that makes you a liar. I shaved a few years off my age and understated my income and net worth… that also makes me a liar. I also think that there are certain levels of egregiousness for lies. I personally think it is much worse to lie about your marital status than it is to shave a few years off your age or income/worth.
Also, when one doesn't provide complete information, that isn't lying… it can potentially be misleading, but not lying… I guess that is why they have the 5th amendment.
It really wasn't my intent to start a blog on the topic of dishonesty. I have been on the "tricked" end of someone lying about their marital status, and it completely sucked. Nonetheless, SA clearly isn't the place to cast judgments. Do whatever you like, and if you need a healthy rationalization to clear your conscience; go for it, sane people do that all the time.
Regarding relationship status, it would be nice if there was an option that said "Does It Matter." Given that there isn't that option, I think it is best to answer honestly. UncommonSB — I strongly suspect that are a number of SDs and SBs who are married and have listed single on this site. Heck, I saw an article that estimated that as high as 30% of the men on match are married…. SA clearly hasn't cornered the market on people who provide misleading marital status. I must also say that it is far worse to do that on match though because most of those people are allegedly looking for committed relationships.
Good Morning Sugar Blog!
It's Wild Wednesday, the middle of the week, when many potential Sugars meet to see how sweet their weekend may become.
What's on your horizon? How sweet is it going to be?
Michael — Be careful! All that sugar in those little girls could stir up some mischief! If I were you, I'd lock MYSELF in a room so as to not receive an unwanted makeover. 😉
Just saying – HEY! – to my sugar blog fam!
Having the sugar time of my life! I hope you all are, too.
Have you ever felt tricked by a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
Yep, about 3 months ago. Lied through her teeth. I'm over it. I was really pissed at the time.
What are your plans for this Halloween? Any sugar?
I plan to be Tinky-Winky. No sugar, except perhaps some unwanted attention if I wear that outfit!
What are your all-time favorite horror flicks?
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original from the 1970s. Still scares the bejesus out of me. Never been able to watch it to the end.
How's your sugarlife been lately?
V quiet. #1 has been sick for a week and is just today starting to get better. We talked today and she asked if she could come and stay for a couple of days early next week. We have a bit of catching up to do. 😉
DC Caramel- Just sit back and enjoy the ride. 😉 as long as you keep your end of the deal, there shouldn't be a problem. But DO realize that one day He may want to end it at any time, and you have to except that.
Unless we here wedding bells in the air. lol
Your SD wont let you take full advantage of him. He holds the keys at this point. And yes, he may like you "just that much"!
I agree with Bella, just go with it, don't over think it. And prepare to be spoiled!
The only time I feel tricked is when men promise me the world. I'm a sugar baby, not stupid. If you are offering me a car before meeting, chances are you are full of crap….or a moron who can't handle finances. Either way, I am not into it 😉 lol
I think that is what it is Bela..not being used to there not being a catch..Thank you for the advice
DCCaramel – Other than telling you to stop overthinking it, I don't really know what to tell you. If something makes you uncomfortable, tell him. Maybe you're just not used to a relationship that doesn't have a catch. If that's what this is, just be appreciative and do your best to make him happy. If there is a catch, protect yourself and continue to carry yourself with class.
Things have been going well with my SD but its still pretty early. When we met it was pretty short lived. Lunch and a few kisses. I dont know when we will see each other again.. I am so worried and don't know when you become comfortable. He sensed that I am and he sent me a 4 digit sugar amount outside of my allowance into my account. I was shocked. Happy but shocked and slightly scared. Does he like me that much? I just havent dated in so long..it is scary. Especially when reading all of these stories and advice that goes completely against my situation. We agreed on an amount before we had met and so far we have only kissed a couple of times and met once. But he has given me a decent sum of money (more than agreed on). He is so laid back and cool something that I like but again makes me scared because I am not sure if I am getting too much even though he says everything is fine and he gave the money on his own accord without me asking. But I was talking about things I want to do (because he asked) some of those answers required money..he told me to research and tell him how much it costs. Now I feel bad because I feel like he already is doing a bunch of things and dont want to lose him because he thinks i require too much or want too many things (even though these are things outside of our agreement that i did not ask for). So what do I do..tell him to not discuss the outside stuff and thats he is doing too much already or just when he brings it up switch topics? Or try to go with the flow?
I just really don't want to lose him and I am really confused how to proceed. I know there is a lot of advice about what if an SD doesnt want to do things but what if he wants to do way more than you ask and its early so you dont want him to think you are taking him to the cleaners although I have no idea how much money he has
Advice please…would love to hear from SD's especially
Michael ….liar, liar, pants on fire. tee hee
Sorry, on iPhone, getting on plane, leaving Dallas. Home tonight!!
Hopefully the workers re-tiling my floor downstairs stuck to the plan while I was away ….
* inaccurate
People give incomplete or inactivate information on profiles all the time. I recall a discussion on net worth and income a month or so ago. I have stated inaccurate net worth and income on my profile. I guess that makes me a liar. Hmmm?
You can't just leave marital status blank, you must answer. If someone wishes to keep that aspect of their personal private they are forced to still choose. Hence putting single.
Uncommon – I went … I will write an update on my blog about it tomorrow
Thank you Bela and Missmilan DC!
Did anyone go the ball last night? Curious to hear. Any sugar matches? Wish I could've gone, sounded like fun, but won't be in NY for another couple of weeks 🙁
@Bela Yes, I see your point as well. I guess an ideal arrangment for me represents experiences that are different from everyday life, so I'm not really open to venting/rehashing by either party about family issues on a regular basis. I turn to friends and family (and they to me) for therapy, and I'd prefer an sd to do the same. I'd rather stick to activities and conversation topics that offer a pleasant escape or distraction. But, I get it that many people desire (or need) the component of sharing troubles and discussing issues as a way of relieving and working through stress.
UncommonSB, you make a very good point. Personally, I'd like to know if the SD is comfortable with me knowing. I don't need to know specifics (addresses, work schedules, or any other crap that would be stalker territory) but knowing that my SD has a very large family or cares for an ailing parent lets me know where their stress may be coming from and how I may help to alleviate some of it 🙂
@NC Gent – I have a sneaking suspicion that quite a few 'single' sd profiles may be a bit misleading. So while I never condone lying, I think that there is a mutual interest for many sd's and sb's to maintain a completely seperate and private persona.
I happen to be single, and would prefer to not know if someone had a significant other. Not for any hopes of marriage or a ltr irl with a 'single' sd, I just wouldn't be interested in knowing the details of an sd's personal life beyond the time spent together. For me, it takes away from the fantasy and mystery of whole thing. Oh well, to each their own.
Lily – actually you said to change her profile to single – is that not a lie when she is married? To me, providing false information and a lie are the same thing.
Happy Birthday Ebony d^_^b
Happy Birthday Ebony!
Guys/BiBaby – I didn't say LIE, I said leave it out. Say your private life is private & leave it at that. Sorry if that sounds deceptive.
Hey there sugars! Happy birthday to me!!
Thanks all for the advice. My Sd took me to lunch today for my birthday and I mentioned that my phone broke and he's getting me a new one tonight. He hasn't mentioned anything about intimacy and seems just content with dinners and lunches.
I'll see how it goes and he seems nice enough. No pressures or innuendos.
Halloween plans : Costume party @ local club . Should serve some sort of entertainment . Hope I don't get too sloshed, I have a pot date two days later ! 😛
SoutherGent2- Im not judging. And it can be SOOO hard to forgive someone, trust me i have been there. And don't be too hard on yourself. We all make bad decisions. Im sure your a beautiful person inside and out, and she was sorry to have deceived you. 🙂
Word of Wisdom: [Life] will never give you more than you can handle.
Ok, now I'm curious in this….what character flaw? Dishonesty? How did you ferret this out?
It's hard for me as an SB to be held to the concept of character being important and yet I meet so many pot SD's who want to argue about every little $ of allowance or try to get a better "value" for their time. I am probably seeing the dark side of the pool of potentials more often than not but I find it odd that so many SD's talk about character but want to knock $500 a month off your allowance at the same time too. *sigh*
Redhead88 – you are correct, and I eventually let it go. In truth, I am probably madder at myself for not seeing a certain character flaw when she and I met. Sometimes you meet someone that you think is a bit different and stands out from others. But in this case, it turned out she was worse than others, just in a different way. So I baited a small trap and watched her fall right in just to see if my character judgment turned out to be correct.
Ah Honor. The lost virtue.
BiBabay- I agree that's its best to be up front about things.
@SDinLA & NCGent,
My real life experience backs up your position…the only redeeming factor in my recent situation ending was that the "SD" in question said twice he felt I was a refreshingly honest and classy lady for having been up front all along about the situation at home. I think things would have ended way, way worse if I had lied about them. I may have a sugar "persona" that is very sweet and agreeable, but I am always honest about the important things….that I'm married, have kids, insist on using protection for the safety of both parties, and that if things get "weird" or divorce is being considered, we end it.
I think the Universe rewards those who play by the rules and with honor, even if all the other players don't always do so. 😉
Back on briefly, I am firming up a date with a pot SD Thursday for lunch, I took some of Lily's advice and went "hunting" on my own to take the initiative, which actually has yielded as many if not more results than waiting for people to contact me. I'm thinking the best way to get over the prior wannabe SD is to find a real one and I am speaking with 2 gentlemen who may be good candidates, all I can do is move on and move forward. It's tempting to cry over spilt milk though.
A few thoughts here.
First, I honestly think I had a right to the remainder of my allowance from the SD who broke it off after prorata, much to the disagreement of the few SD's who posted here. I got stiffed on the monthly allowance which by default rendered my situation a pay for play outcome. While I don't think that severance is necessarily required with an arrangement, it damn sure isn't fair either to not give the SB her full monthly due when she has fulfilled every requirement and you're the jerk cutting it short because you're confused about something you were perfectly fine with in the beginning and after intimacy.
Soapbox off on that one…
This leads me to my 2nd thought, and that is that I think I am better off being honest with all concerned about the marriage issue. It hasn't stopped potentials. I may have fewer than other single ladies my age and quality but it's not a deal-breaker for some either. Married guys all seem to think its great or a boon since they don't want an SB to break up the marriage and look for a wife situation.
Not only do I think I owe my SD honesty in our arrangement but I owe my husband that same upfrontness and part of the deal was that I would be straight-up with potentials that I'm not leaving my marriage and this is for fun/arrangement only. You'd be surprised the number of guys who don't have any issues with a significant other in your life, so long as you are with THEM when you're with them. My last quasi-SD wouldn't stop talking about his ex-wife and let me tell you fellas, that's horrible to listen to all the time. PLEASE don't do that to your SB, unless you're asking her for therapy help and she's ok with giving it.
Personally I don't really give a blip if an SD thinks I'm giving my DH rent money (I'm not, and never would), if they don't know or respect me enough to make my own decisions about my allowance, then they don't know me well enough to be spending intimate time with me either. I have more self-respect than that. I'd never enter into an arrangement with someone who tells me how to spend my money just as I would never tell him how to run his business, raise his kids or make love to his wife.
I'm still trying to find the (close to) ideal arrangement and SD and it's hard, but I will say the bad experiences sharpen you to what to look for the next time around and what to avoid. Maybe you DO have to kiss a lot of frogs to find the prince….
update on the pot from the weekend date: saw him last night and to be honest there wasnt much talking 😉 but i guess thats how a real arrangement should be, you should be really happy to see the other person and we def were. Safe to say old sd has been replace and ive already received my full amount of sugar this morning , and hes ok with me meeting other pots.
hope everyone is doing great 🙂
Lily – I will be in nyc to see you… Will email u privately in a bit
SouthernGent2!-do i see a little malice in that wonderful heart of yours? I have been tricked once. When mt pot. SD sobbingly confessed He was married, and didn't feel right in what He was doing. I suggested marriage counseling, and i have no hard feelings towards Him.
The key is to Forgive. We are all human. We all make mistakes.
Colossians 3:13
Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
One of my favorite verses.
Sugar this Halloween? Sugar in my glass!! Hahahaaa! lol Just me and the girls this weekend.
Tricked someone – sure I did because she lied to me, and I caught her in the lie. So yeah I got a little payback, and she never knew that I did it to her 🙂
Good Morning Sugar Blog!
By now all the cobwebs are shaken off and we're picking up steam as we roll into the week.
Is your Sugar Search picking up steam as well?
Good Rainy Morning!
@Midwest! – Are you stalking me? If so, that would be AWESOME! I think I get there Sunday, but I'm not sure of what time yet. I think we're supposed to find out today from Admin.
Children of the Corn was creepy, but I still get a little spooked when I see small children with hair so blonde that it's white. For some reason, that's VERY common out here in the country. Freaky!!
@TLG – Wow, that is flaky! What did you do? Yes, it must be your fault 😉
@Carebear – Congrats to your mother. Getting married on Halloween? That's something even a cynic like me could love <3
@Redhead – Sorry to hear about the rain check. Hopefully all is well.
@Torrin – You are vicious. The Mummy scared me too, but I'd have to say it was Texas Chainsaw Massacre mainly because my older cousins convinced me that it was real. Now, I like zombie movies and even geeked out when I saw the Pittsburgh mall from the original Dawn of the Dead.
Regarding the blog topic : I've unfortunately never been tricked by a sugar daddy, but it may be due to the fact that I've been tricked by regular men so much that I've got spidey senses when it comes to BS.
Halloween is costume party at one of my favorite local restaurants. They threw one last year and it rocked my socks off, so I'm definitely in this year
Hello all — to answer the blog question. Yes, I have been tricked. I dated an SB for 8 months only to find out that she was married when she had PROMISED she was single. I had my suspicions and they were eventually confirmed. If she would have revealed her marital status when I first inquired with my suspicions, it would have been fine. It really SUCKS to find out that you have been lied to for months.
As rewarding as the sugar world can be, nothing beats a great relationship does it? 🙂
I would have to respectfully disagree with your advice to BiBaby re: not telling a SD about her husband. Yes, some SDs might have an issue with a married SB, and that may reduce her odds of finding a SD, but that does not excuse being dishonest about something that major IMO. Honesty is one of the foundations of a good SD/DB situation, and going into it with a major lie like that would have been a big issue for me.
Having dealt with a stalker in real life, and having had a former GF (who is kind of a celeb) who had major issues with a couple of crazed stalkers, restraining orders and all, I was always very wary of the issue of the "jealous husband/Ex/current BF."
If a SB had lied to me about being married, and then tried to come clean later, that would have been immediate cause for ending the arrangement AND I would have felt really betrayed and taken advantage of, regardless of chemistry and how well we had been getting along- then again I always raised the topic early on, so it would have taken an explicit lie to hide marital status, a serious BF etc. I guess since the SBs I had were all college age, the having a husband thing was really never an issue, but the jealous BF/Ex BF potential was definitely something I asked about and factored into the equation.
Date with a pot SD on thurs,seems really nice.Date with the SD I want on friday…finalllllly! whew…finally picking up.
plans for halloween….my mom is getting married!! ahhhhh so excited =D
howdy friends
heyyy college sb: what are YOU gonna be for halloween =)
have you ever been tricked….i'm sure we all have. i have collected some pretty interesting stories but need a few glasses to explain the memories i've supressed. gr.
michael-you should start a blog about sugar-induced parenting skills =)
Hi everyone…. it's been a while.
Hi carebear!! 🙂
I'm in an arrangement with the SD I mentioned previously… so far, things are solid. I've learned a lot about the sugar world the past month and am still learning! I may be meeting him in Vegas this Halloween weekend, although I'm still thinking it over since it would be the first time we spent the night together.
Have I ever felt tricked by a SD:
Only the guys who love to talk, but are mysteriously lacking in the action department. Some of them talk a great game too, I'll give them credit for that.
Hello, all!
Weekend was amazing, glad NYC SB had an awesome one as well. I want details, privately, and expressed sorrow at not seeing me when I'n in town in 3 weeks! Although your reason is excellent!!
BiBaby – stop thinking about your joke daddy and use my tips for throwing yourself into the path of a real SD. Change your profile to single and leave your personal/family life out of brand new sugar endeavours. After the arrangement is going great for a couple of months you might (might!) want to fess up but not before. Why? Because SDs are the type of men who can't imagine any wife of theirs being some other guy's SB, and that you obviously are in a family with a man like that (who doesn't mind), will alienate SDs because they won't understand or be able to relate to such an open minded marriage. You want to do the opposite of alienate potential SDs or brand new SDs. And of course they will also feel weird about giving an allowance to a woman with a family because it seems like a weightier thing to offer financial subsidy to an entire family and that's too heavy of a commitment for a guy you've just met to want to get involved with no matter how you explain that the money isn't for household needs…
NSA. Keeping it light, fun, sexy, breezey. Him wondering if your DH is sitting at home on the couch and sending you out into the sugarbowl for his beer & rent money will leave a weird taste in his mouth no matter what you say. There is too much competition, and potSDs needs half a reason to 'next' you, so don't give them anything. Until your foot is in the door at least, and they are smitten. Even then, its your prerogative to keep your personal life distinct from your sugar life.
Have you ever felt tricked by a sugar daddy or sugar baby?
Depends on what you mean by tricked. I had arranged to meet with a pot tonight–set time and place, when she sent an email asking about something irrelevent to our meet. When I called to let her know I was enroute but running a smidge late, she texts back "sorry–when I didn't hear from you I made other plans." Hunh? How flaky is THAT?
What are your plans for this Halloween? Any sugar?
Never been much of a Halloween buff–but if the SB wears the right costume I bet I could be persuaded…;)
How's your sugarlife been lately?
Just getting back in after an arrangement ended amicably. Seems my high-caliber mojo hasn't completely deserted me based on email responses.
Hey sugar blog fam!
I've been real busy, getting lots of sugar! I hope the same is true for the rest of you.
Take care
children of the corn was a pretty creepy movie! I cant sit through it. lol
Halloween? My grandmother made me this AMAZING Gypsy costume with a red satin corset, and all sorts of shifts with gold coins all over it. It jingles when i walk! LOL So im sporting this around Memphis at every party i can! Pictures will be uploaded
And thanks MidWest SB!
From last blog:
Bela – Hilarious! Guess who's going to FL this weekend?
BiBaby – So sorry for your experience, but it confirms what many have said all along. Please learn from it. As for severance, it can be discussed, but not guaranteed. I've had severance discussions in the past and the agreement was 1-2 months at half (if I even needed it). Arrangements end and the reason is irrelevant. You just got started, but in the event you get an arrangement past a few months, put some money aside for future necessities just in case. Bottom line…he wasn't a real SD. Hold out for what you want. If tuition is due, I'm sure you qualify for Pell and other student aid.
RedHead88- Wear your confidence next Wed!
Have you ever felt tricked by a sugar daddy or sugar baby? Fortunately, I have only had amazing experiences here.
What are your plans for this Halloween? Any sugar? Girls night in with bff! Wouldn't you guys like to be the Jack-o-lantern in the room?!?
How's your sugarlife been lately? Pleasantly surprising!
Favorite horror movie – Rocky Horror Picture Show is about as scary as I get…I'm the adult who was terrified when I saw Children of the Corn and swore off horror movies for LIFE!
hahaa!! that;s a good one!
One of the creepiest movies ever, in my opinion, is Nosferatu. (1922)
Its a silent film, but the cinematography is AMAZING! and that shadow is just down-right scary!
my pot SD rescheduled for Wednesday night, ;(
lame! lol
My nominee for horror flick is The Mummy (1932)
Because it scared my way too cool college daughter to death, great fun!
Allycatz: I feel for you! I think the best POA is to let them, as you said, slip into a sugar induced coma. And toss in some scary movies! Great ones for that age group are:
Pet Cemetery
Watcher in the woods
Nightmare Before Christmass
And of Corse the cult classic: Little Shop of Horrors
Not TOO scary, and very little adult undertone. But will still make them squeal just a bit.
mine was Pet Cemetery when i was young.
aww @michaelazalleycat..that is so sweet…those were the days! good times 😉
Michael, you deserve a purple hear for this one. When I was younger, my mother would just buy a suite at a hotel and let my friends and I loose on the indoor pool. She had her own room next door but we were queens of the night. Yes, I was that girl lol
"What are your plans for this Halloween? Any sugar?"
It's my daughter's 12th birthday the day before Halloween. She is having a sleepover at our house for 12 girls, all 11 or 12. Since I am a single parent, it's going to be me and 12 girls, running amok in the house. After a couple of hours at the trampoline place to wear them out, I plan to lock them in one end of the house, and throw in pizza, cake, ice-cream, movies and juice until they pass out in a sugar and starch-induced coma.
Current SB is still not well, hopefully by end of week she'll be better!
Third …
I'm sooooo ready to meet the perfect SD,1st 🙂